#i am NOT active on here bro
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WAIT YOU CAN DO YOUR OWN TAGS IS THAT HOW MY HOMIE KEEPS DOING THAT GAY SHIT OHHHHH
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I just think Toei gives Vegeta a lot of shit for a guy who's maintained his rank within the top ten most powerful beings in the mortal realm since he was like five years old.
#and he did it without dragon balls OR senzu beans OR magic chi unlocks OR otherworldly help he's just been grinding for 30 years#every time I see a fan like 'vegeta's so weak bro lol' i'm like?? Hm?? Where??#I will never forgive toei for writing him the way they do in the movies but even with their ass character choices like#He's still Consistently The Fuck Out Here#When he tells Kiwi that he's actively choosing to be on the front lines instead of kicking back like he could be with his status as a lord#and then the payoff in Super when they're like 'damn vegeta must be a prodigy' Pybara is like 'yeah that's because he works his ass off'#the way I yelled!! And it's true of Goku too!!#I had to explain to a friend the other day too that Bardock's wish re: his boys doesn't remove all the grinding Goku's done over his life#It helped him survive and meet people the same way it did Raditz but Goku's still been training every single day. all his life.#The reason Raditz lost is because he didn't train his tail like Nappa and Vegeta did -- he knew it was a problem with a solution#and never addressed the problem. Goku consistently dug his heels in and worked to overcome any weakness he discovered in his body#no opportunity is going to help you if you don't put the work in. that's why Vegeta's arc is so good. He puts the work in on all fronts.#and why I am constantly mad at Toei for writing his relationships the way they do because it is so deeply inconsistent with his themes#anyway here's another essay in the tags aksldjaskjld
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If anyone in the Tokrev fandom is on Twitter and interested in following me btw, my acc is here. A majority of my following rn is from the JJBA community, and while I’m absolutely NOT leaving that fandom any time soon, I feel like I’ve been Haitani posting into the void. 😭 It seems like the TR fandom is kinda dead on there, so I’m hoping to find wherever y’all are hiding.
#ran haitani#rindou haitani#haitani brothers#tokyo revengers#tr#tokrev#also I kinda just wanna reach 200 followers ngl#but self promo aside#I’m usually pretty active on twt#but I’ve felt kinda bad lately bc I built my entire following around jjba#but now here I am hyperfixating on tr and posting about the haitani bros all the time#like I’ve always technically considered myself a multifandom acc and again I’m not leaving the jojo fandom but idk#I still feel bad since that’s all I posted about for a year and now I’m hyperfixated on something else#anyway I’m kinda just hoping to gain more followers and maybe connect with more people in the tr fandom so I feel less bad SJSJSJS
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Me starting another bg3 run where I will make virtually all the same decisions in mostly the same order as if there isn't different branching paths
#the horrifying idea of things going differently if i choose something different#my ass sitting here wanting other content for it as if i'm not actively refusing to make the choices to get other content#i've still only romanced astarion bro#i had my og. the EXACT copy of my og but durge this time.#began a karlach run to romance wyll and am still in early act 1 so nothing will happen for a long ass time#and i left that because i missed my paladin. the party feels incomplete without them bro#started a rogue/fighter run of one of my ocs retrofitted into the game.#but also am incapable of staying true to the character cause i'll miss stuff if i do and i need to do EVERYTHING explore EVERYWHERE#nearly couldn't get over the hurdle of having no strength and no speak with animals (so karlach and wyll gotta speak to critters)#then just started a sorcerer to try to really push myself to branch out. but all it did was reaffirm that being a spell caster sucks#no jump cause no strength no health no armour no decent melee. like motherfucker pick a struggle#luckily that oc is into music so sorcerer-bard here we come#but every single one of these bitches is good aligned#(and anything i SHOULD do different i don't cause there's still different varoeties of good but alas)#still haven't romanced another party member (but that's not ENTIRELY my fault!!!!)#my og/og durge was the same person i couldn't just romance someone else. they got with astarion i don't make the rules#karlach WILL romance wyll if i ever get farther in#my rogue/fighter oc is heading the baldur's gate for his boyfriend and they have an open relationship so he COULD fuck other people#alas he would never due to his own issues#BUT THIS WILL CHANGE#my sorcerer/bard (who is the boyfriend of the rogue. just imagining the plot as if he was on the adventure or rogue was in baldur's gate)#and he WOULD fuck other people no strings attached#so my goal is to fuck all potentially non-monogamous party members#so lae'zel shadowheart astarion#wyll is a slow burn so that's emotional depth we wouldn't put in#gale is king or monogamy (plus him and this character together would make the rogur pass the fuck out)#karlach is complicated because of the no touch thing? hard to say how much emotional depth ends up required there#meanwhile shadowheart has mentioned she does no strings attached hook-ups#lae'zel propositions you ten seconds in for a good tumble#and from romancing astarion i know fucking the first time seems like it'll just be casual hook up time and i needn't go further
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my gal killa
yas slay🗣️
#idk bro i spent like an hour and 20 minutes on this#honest to god i keep forgetting to draw her vitiligo every fucking time and its so stupid because i finish and then i REMEMBER#im writing this at like 11 am and will not post it til 9 pm because. the dndads fans are only active st night#timezones😒#ANYWAYS YES HERES EVERYONES FAVOURITE LADIEEEE#the shading is lousy the backgrounf is lousy the hair id lousy but atp who fucking cares#killa demall fans are desperate for content#..i would know.#tempted to draw cool ass makeup on her#brb#noo haha jk i didnt do it i prepared for my history exam#anyways lets do the normal tags now#dndads#dungeons and daddies#killa demall#fuck willy stampler
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the way that i am now downloading stock market news apps......... and squinting at these crazy ass news articles and learning finance terms n shit.... trying to read these number and graphs........
i am morphing into a middle aged dad of 3 kids. 🧍♂️
#mine#its so joever for me guys.#it started with the boomer ellipses and now here we are#save yourselves gang.... SAVE YOURSELVES#to be clear yes i am still Anarchist and anticapitalist#but man. sometimes you get sick and tired of being sick and tired and if pretending to day trade along with finance bros#and laughing at their misfortunes when stock values plummet helps out my mental health? then babey. lemme get my trading apps open#to be clear also: i'm not trading stocks either. well not actively anyways#ive just become irrationally obsessed with this shit out of nowhere. but rn my broke ass cannot afford to gamble money#on the current volatile ass market#so i'm safely sticking to my bonds and my etfs for now#and watching the circus that the NYSE turns into every 3rd quarter or so#oh ye btw finance news: warren buffet sold half of his tech shares recently including apple stocks#so its looking like it is So Joever for ai and tech which is absolutely hilarious considering all these phone companies#are pushing ai SO HARD rn. but even investors arent buying it anymore#news articles are saying lots of investors are pulling out of risky investments rn. selling stocks. piling their money into bonds for now#but last 2 quarters of every finance year are like that so i'm not too concerned#the October Scare is real with these guys lol#more reasons why october is my absolute fave month LMAO
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So, I think going on twt was a mistake. I miss it here :’)
#hello does anyone remember me? it’s been uhh months I think#listen so the thing is.#I can only do one social media at a time it seems and uhhh twt has not in fact been very fun#I miss it here but the fandom I’m in rn is not very active here rn and the dn died and left me a widower so#so anyway#I went to twt and uhh I think it was a mistake it does not feel good to be there bro it feels wrong#this is sooo my natural habitat wtf am I supposed to do#lmao but yeah anyway#remember me or wtv?
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#actively beating back negative thoughts with a stick after a good fun night is like. bro c'mon.#I will NOT let my insecurities poison a super fun night#I will not think about my friends going ''ugh glad she's gone'' after I left#there is no reason to assume that but hey here we are#why am I like this. like really where is this coming from I don't normally feel this way#delete later
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why am i so bad at Fixing things and Comforting people what the fuck
#maybe. maybe i am taking on more than i can handle#sorry i just. i don't even have the energy to cry but i'm sitting here trying my best 2 fix everything 4 everybody n it's making shit worse#and i feel so so so sos bad#cuz i cant just say 'hey bro i'm actively ******* ** *** ******** can we reschedule?' when shit gets life or death yk#idk it's selfish but i'd like 2 be on the receiving end sometime#i would like 2 be the one getting taken care of pls#only problem is i'd feel rly guilty abt it n apologize 2 an annoying extent#it's wtvr i don't rly have time 2 deal w my own shit anyway#cuz of college n sleep n school n my parents#im Trying but im not trying good enough n it feels like it's me & the bathroom floor against the world
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genuinely tired of friends or people i know losing their life. we are too young for this
#tired of senseless violence#and it’s like 5 days in 2023 come on bro#my queue is on as well if it seems like i’m actively posting#ok i still am but like i’m not always HERE fhfgfbf#later#sticky notes
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Guys I’m thinking abt making a side blog for talking abt my therianthropy and stuff
#i kinda want to#also bc one of my friends follows me on here#BRO I KNOW YOURE NEVER ACTIVE BUT I CANT LET YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY SILLY I AM#my online persona isn’t something you need to see#:/#ollie rambles ✨
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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Listen my friend painted pretty designs on my nails while we drank cocktails and watched law and order I cannot be harmed by any psychic attacks right now
#d keeps asking if I’m jealous bc c’s friend is here and I’m like FIRST of all#they’ve known each other for far longer than I’ve known C so I have no right to be jealous#SECOND of all I am secure in the fact I love C and I know she loves me and friendship isn’t a monogamous concept#THIRD I LIKE her friend I think she’s lovely and I think her leaving her little son to go to Ireland to make money so she can#create a better life for him is an admirable thing#like don’t be annoying bro life is more complicated than oh your friends other friend is here are you afraid you’re gonna be replaced#grow up I came with to the airport to pick her up#am I a jealous person yes absolutely#but I keep that shit to myself because I know my jealousy is an irrational thing that I have to deal with#anyway I like listening to people talk about situations and friends and places I don’t know#it’s interesting to me I’m like WHOM#(nosy trait activated tbh)#yes ladies and gents I’m a little tipsy wipsy what of it#if we want to get into the nitty gritty of it all I think my girlfriend is gonna break up with me lol#and honestly I’m in not a great place right now mentally I think either I’m just burnt out or the depresso is back bc either way I’m#like not in the place for being someone else’s person lmao I’m#just apathetic about it all#the last person I was with was cheating on two different people with me without me knowing#I am on friendly terms with him despite this!!!!!#clearly I need to be looked at by a professional head shrinkist#I am simply too passive about my own self it seems#idk where I was going with this lads#I’ve had tequila😔 my best friend tequila have you betrayed me again????#delete in morning probablemente
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i mean. because he's in love with him and blitzø is unequipped to move past his trauma and realize he has worth so he refuses to allow himself to have real desires and buries any emotions that are too deep to be played off for laughs and because he has major fear of rejection (because he assumes everyone would reject him because why would someone want him) he purposefully doesn't acknowledge his feelings for stolas as anything more than sexual and it feels "right" for him that someone from a higher class would use him for his body so it's the only way he would properly accept being around stolas at all so stolas had to make do with however blitzø would let them be together and we all saw how well that worked out :/ also because i agree, blitzø has never left anyone sexually unsatisfied have you SEEN HIM DO ANYTHING EVER
I refuse to believe that Stolas in unsatisfied with Blitz's performance in bed
#also this is from the perspective of both of them at the beginning of their arrangement#(not taking into account any character development since then)#i know it's pretty besides the main point but#we need to understand. that arrangement did not happen because they both just wanted sex#source: i want it to have always meabt mkre than that#like personally i think the arrangement came about not bc stolas was like DAMN THAT GUY CAN FUCK#but because he was grasping at straws for any way blitzø would allow them to get closer that wouldn't cross blitzø's boundaries#(bro is the whole pinery)#let's be fr u dont lend that book bc someone is just rly good at dicking u down. he had to already be somewhat in love#also s2 e1 backs this up pretty nicely#so most likely the main reason was to get closer to the imp he was pining for (and self destruct)#and the secondary reason is that blitzø knows how to rumble tumble like no one else#i mean does anyone fuck better than The Traumatized i dont think so. he has a leg up on everyone else. he is deeply broken and cannot cope.#(if we're trying to agree withe the show#then mayyybe this means he was subpar with things like aftercare#which stolas definitely needs#and stolas is a romantic yknow. he wants to take things slow sometimes. and blitzø wouldnt have let that happen the way stolas needs#so in that way#i think blitzø never left him unsatisfied with a rendevous but in general their activities werent what stolas wanted from a partner)#also i am unqualified to speak on this subject because i havent seen anything from new moon on (im practicing self control shut up)#so if im wrong abt any canon facts here/this is disproven by anything that came out *in new moon or after that*#pls just tell me that im wrong and dont spoil it#you can sit up high on a throne of superior knowledge until i catch up and come back to grovel for your forgiveness#this is just my two monopoly cents
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Clenches fist... grits teeth... I need to replay the game again actually and abuse the save and load feature to know all of Grim's replies to every choice the base game has to offer.
#aria rants#am i on the verge of gettin hyperfixated on this man? i might be#i swear to god if this game was any longer id be hyperfixated immediately but i was spared by the short gameplay time of it#so instead i need to consume everything the game has to offer or else im gonna explode#i will not buy the dlc... i will not buy the dlc... well it also is a combination of will not and cannot buy#cuz im broke grim. im broke yet im out here thinkin of ways to save up money just to see more of your ass. i hate him(lying)#head in hands... bro its like 3? 4? days before 2024 and am out here slowly going insane for a dork of a grim reaper#ggrgrgrggrrgrgrrrrrr i need to grab this man and shake him and bite him and squeeze him and chomp him and--#i need to fist fight this man (affectionately). i swear i love him but mygod... i need to get physical with him (fight me grim)#this guy hit that Very Specific part of my brain that activated the i love this character but i would squimsh him violently too#grim congrats youre so far the 2nd character to activate that specific part of my brain that i can remember currently#the 1st character was childe in gi but for personal reasons involving gacha rng
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