#i am . so sorry about this but not enough to not post it LOL
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Extra cream and sugar.
Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader Words count: 5295 Rating: +18, NSFW, MDNI. Summary: Frankie is your barista, every morning you walk into his café asking for a tall coffee with extra cream and sugar. He dreams of giving you another kind of cream… Tags: Frankie's POV, brief description of reader and what she wear but no mention of her skin tone, she doesn't blush, she has hair but it's not described (she's you, baby ♥︎) , reader has her own business, pining, yearning, slow burn, Frankie is eager for you, masturbation, obviously mention of coffee and sweets, a side of Christmas (just a glimpse), soft!Frankie, kinda rom-com vibes but we go smutty 😏, unprotected p in v (reader is on the pill but still, do better irl), cream pie, nipples play (At this point you know me so you expect it, right?), reader rides him cowgirl style (yeehaw!), teasing, Frankie wants you to tell him exactly what you want from him, pussy pronouns, Frankie is smitten with you bb, no age gap, mention of alcohol, derogatory pussy eating (because it's Frankie, you know), oral (m! receiving), masturbation, dirty thoughts, dirty talk, some more filth I probably don't remember. Please, excuse me, I'm posting this almost 2 am as the usual mess that I am LOL. If I forgot something I will add it asap. I wrote a temperature in Celsius degrees somewhere in this fic, I don't know anything about Fahrenheit, sorry, I'm Italian. A/N: This fic is my Christmas gift to all of you who support me and have loved my Frankie so much in the past, I really didn't think so many people would like him 🥹 And it's especially dedicated to @baronessvonglitter who gave me this prompt around November, I promised her I would do something with it and this is the result 🤭 No beta, no proofread, no nothing, we're going down with this ship, please have mercy. I really hope you like it and I wish you happy holidays, love you all ❤️
Frankie had been noticing you for weeks. You would arrive every morning at 10:30 and ask for tall coffee with extra cream and sugar.
He thought you looked lovely, with your sexy dresses, a dainty necklace around your neck, little makeup except for a red lipstick on your gorgeous lips.
You were the highlight of the day. He had decided to open a café after retiring from the army because there was nothing he wanted more than to live a quiet life. He had seen enough pain and destruction for two whole lifetimes, all he wanted to take care of now were coffee blends, foamed milk, blueberry muffins and chocolate chip cookies.
He loved arriving in the morning and quietly opening his place, arranging the pastries in the display cases, turning on the coffee machine, setting up the tables, and getting everything ready while waiting for the city to wake up and the customers to start arriving. You were his favorite since you first appeared before him almost 3 weeks ago, but who was counting?
You were pretty in the truest sense of the word according to him, radiant, elegant without striving, charming and nice.
He had started waiting until 10:30 just to see you, with butterflies in his stomach in anticipation and his heart pounding in his chest as soon as you walked in the door.
The first time you had spoken to him he had been enchanted by your eyes; he could have sworn they were the most beautiful he had ever seen. He had not heard a single word you had said and had made you repeat the order, apologizing.
You had laughed, and your sweet laughter had resounded in his ears like music. It had never happened to him, not even once, but at that moment it was as if everything else in the world had stopped and only you existed.
“One tall coffee to go, extra cream and sugar, please,” you had patiently repeated.
You looked so pure that it seemed almost immoral to him the way his jeans had suddenly become tight.
He had shaken himself, trying to come to his senses, hurriedly headed for the coffee machine. He had prepared your cup to go and set it on the counter in front of you "cocoa? sprinkles?" he had stammered, awkward and nervous. Heck, he'd spent years in the military, he could fly a damn helicopter, his business was going strong, but in front of you he felt like he didn't know what to do with himself.
"Uhm..sprinkles, thank you," you had smiled.
He had sprinkled colored heart-shaped sprinkles on the cream -- so pathetic, he had to admit, but they seemed to suit you --, closed it with the clear plastic lid and handed it to you, all with fear of spilling something and making a mess.
"It looks so yummy, thank you" you chirped handing money to him.
“Thanks to you, um, come again,” Frankie had stammered, running his sweaty palms over his apron.
He had watched you leave, your ass swaying deliciously wrapped in your skirt, and a whiff of your perfume had reached his nostrils, filling them with a heavenly flowery scent.
It had taken him a few seconds too long to pay attention to the next customer, a rather impatient middle-aged man who had ruined the magic you had brought into his café.
He had hoped you would come back all evening, and the next morning he woke up even earlier than usual, showered, stood several minutes in front of his closet thinking about which of his shirts you might like best, even wasted time adjusting his beard. He had even contemplated not wearing the cap he always wore with fear that you might find it silly, but in the end habit won out. Besides, he had thought, I might as well show her who I really am. That is, assuming she comes back. And if she doesn't come back? He had felt so disappointed at the idea. Maybe you hadn't even liked his coffee in the end. Once at the café, he had kept himself as busy as possible so as not to drown in false hopes, but he had found himself staring at the clock more often than he would have liked to admit.
At precisely 10:30 a.m. you had entered. You were even more beautiful than the day before, wrapped in a little flowery dress, your beautiful legs exposed, your sweet scent in the air.
He knew absolutely nothing about you, had barely spoken to you and yet his palms were sweating again, his throat was as dry as a desert, he nervously switched his weight from one leg to the other, standing behind the counter as he watched you approach.
“Good morning,” you had said, with a sweet smile spreading across your face.
“Uh...good morning,” he had stammered, ”what would you like this morning?”
“Tall coffee to go, extra cream and sugar, please.”
Your melodious voice had again gone straight to the crotch of his pants.
“Same as yesterday” he had said ”coming right up.”
“Oh, you remember!” you sounded surprised. How could he have forgotten the most beautiful creature who had ever set foot in his café?
“Um, yeah, it's my job after all” he had clutched his shoulders. He didn't remember orders from customers who had been coming to him for months, he had memorized yours instantly. He didn't need to let you know anyway.
“That's so cute,” you had observed while continuing to give him that amazing smile.
He had turned to make your coffee feeling your eyes behind his back, he was so nervous that he almost burned himself pouring the coffee into the cup.
He had managed to avoid it by a whisker; he would have hated to look clueless in front of you.
“There you go,” he had smiled nervously at you, ”be careful, it's very hot.”
“I will, thank you” you had answered him softly.
You had paid him and headed for the exit, turning to look at him before pushing open the door “Have a good day”
“Oh, thank you, you too” he had replied, his voice hoarse with excitement.
That evening he had surrendered to his lowest instincts and as soon as he had jumped into the shower after a long day's work, he had allowed himself to close his eyes and think about you.
He had tightened his hand around his cock and thought about your scent, your smile, how your dress deliciously enveloped your tits, showing off your cleavage.
He had imagined kissing you and feeling the softness of your lips, lowering a hand between your legs and discovering that you were not wearing panties, running his fingers over your wet folds and then bending over in front of you and making you come with his tongue.
He had lingered in these fantasies as he pumped his cock faster and faster, stroking the tip, imagining that it was your delicate hand doing it, your red-enameled nails wrapped around its length.
He had come in his hand, soiling the shower wall, uncontrolled, totally enraptured by the wonderful vision of you in his head.
____________________________________
He had continued to play it cool for three weeks, but by now every time you came in his head was just thinking “say something more than ‘good morning’ and ‘be careful not to burn yourself’ and ‘have a nice day,’ you idiot.” Ask her something, find out if she's involved with someone.”
So one morning he finally had attempted “Do you work near here?” he had asked, handing you your usual coffee.
You had hesitated a moment before answering, “Actually, yes, just a stone's throw away. You know that jewelry store that opened three weeks ago? That's mine.”
“Oh, great,” he had said, straining not to smile like a sucker.
“Yeah, I'm a jewelry designer, I finally got to open a store with my own brand, I'm very excited.” your eyes twinkled with pride and Frankie had thought you were so incredibly beautiful that he wanted to kiss you there and then.
You had held out your hand to him and said your name, and he had shaken it with his heart in his throat.
“Nice, and nice name by the way” he had replied instead, ‘did you make that one?’ pointing to your necklace. It had a small star-shaped pendant.
“Yes, do you like it?” you had asked, brushing it with your fingers.
“I like it very much, it looks good on you.”
“Thank you,” you had replied, smiling, ”well, if you have to give any gifts to your girlfriend or wife, come by and see me.”
“Uh, actually, I'm not married or even engaged.” He babbled, looking at you embarrassed.
“Oh. Well, I see.” and then in a lower voice and winking at him you had added, ”Can't say I'm sorry.”
Holy fuck, you were flirting.
His cock had twitched at your wink; he couldn't believe that all this time you had been reciprocating his silent interest.
“I have to go back to work, now. Have a nice day, Frankie,” you said, smiling and heading for the exit.
He was dumbfounded a few seconds wondering how you knew his name, since in the heat of the moment he hadn't even told you. Then he had looked down at his shirt, where his name tag was pinned.
“I like your cap, by the way,” you had said before you left.
“Oh. Thank you. I like your dress," he had replied a little too loudly, so much so that people at the tables had turned around cackling.
You looked at him one last time with a smug expression before disappearing down the street.
____________________________________
Christmas was coming, as much as it may have felt like Christmas in Florida with 26 degrees during the day. Frankie had decorated the café with small silver decorations at the windows, a small Christmas tree near the counter filled with lights that were also silver.
While decorating however, the only thing he was thinking about was you. He had done everything early in the morning, before opening, wondering what you were doing, if you had just woken up and were stretching in bed with your hair tousled and your eyes still clouded by sleep. He wondered what you were wearing to sleep, wondering if you were a babydoll type or more of a T-shirt and shorts type.
Or maybe you were sleeping naked. He daydreamed of your florid body wrapped in your sheets, the soft curve of your ass, your breasts, your nipples brushing against the cotton fabric.
“Shit!” he exclaimed, realizing that he had dropped one of the balls he was putting on the tree, which had ruinously fallen to the ground, splitting into a thousand pieces on the floor.
He rolled his eyes as he went to the closet to get a broom and dustpan.
Maybe it was time to stop fantasizing and get moving on asking you out.
He was terrified that you would say no but he had to do it before someone else tried. Someone like you wouldn't be alone for long.
You had entered the venue at the usual time, admiring the decorations. Frankie felt a small surge of pride in the middle of his chest as you approached the counter. “Oh wow, this is so festive, I love it.”
He knew he had just smiled like a dork but he didn't care.
In your brief little chats you had mentioned that you were not originally from Florida so he took the opportunity to ask, “Are you going to visit your family for Christmas?”
You had smiled, squinting slightly, with that look that was now familiar from when you noticed his true intentions. You had given it to him with every attempt he made to flirt with you.
“Um no, actually Christmas is the best time to work for me. So I'm going to stay here.”
He had felt his heart do a little jolt in his chest as he struggled to find the right words to ask to take you to dinner.
He felt like he had never been so awkward in his life, but the truth was that he really liked you and made him nervous with your innate confidence and the sensuality you exuded.
“Well, if you'd like to go out sometime, I'd be happy to” he babbled.
“Gladly.” you had replied, looking at him -- he would have sworn -- mischievously.
“So...um...how about Saturday? Is 7 okay?”
“Perfect. You can pick me up at the store.” you had replied, fiddling with your pendant.
“Okay, well...see you soon then.”
You had leaned over the counter for a moment, signaling him with your finger to come closer, and when you had been close enough to his ear you whispered, “It's about time.”
You had left while your voice still rang in his ears like a siren song.
On Saturday night Frankie was so nervous that he had changed his clothes four times. Finally he had decided that a blue shirt and a pair of jeans would do. Maybe.
You had said you liked his cap but he had decided it was not appropriate to wear it to take you to dinner, so he had left his hair wet and styled it back with a little gel.
He arrived at 7 parking in front of your store and entered looking for you.
You weren’t there. He had looked around and the place was just like you, elegant but not overly so, bright and warm.
There were small display cases filled with bracelets, rings, necklaces, watches even.
All very fine, carefully crafted things, not that he understood much about jewelry but they looked well made and high quality to him.
You had put little window decorations similar to his own, and he couldn't help but smile as he looked at them.
Not only you were beautiful and funny, you were also talented and smart enough to run your own business, a strong independent and brilliant woman with ambitions.
He felt a jolt down his spine feeling unworthy of you with his simpler and quieter life.
You had appeared from the back after a short while "Oh there you are! Hello!” you had greeted him with a smile, approached him and kissed his cheek. He had brushed your arm as you leaned closer, feeling your soft skin under his fingers and his heart bouncing in his chest.
"So what do you think?" you had said, gesturing to the place.
“I can't say I'm a connoisseur, but it looks like a beautiful store to me,” he had said.
“Thank you. I really like your café, too.”
“Oh, that’s nothing compared to this” he brushed off.
“I don’t think so, your coffee is so good and that cupcake I tried the other day? It was heavenly. I would say you did a great job with it” you insisted and he felt suddenly better.
"Well I actually… I don't bake them, I get them from a supplier.” He had admitted.
“You have good taste anyway.” You had shrugged, smiling.
The hold you had on him was ridiculous at that point, you could have said whatever to him and he would believe you without hesitation.
“Let me get my purse and close the store and then we can go.”
___________________________________
Frankie had tried to behave like a real gentleman, had opened the door for you, complimented you on the dress you were wearing -- continuing to ogle your thighs while you were sitting next to him -- , asked you things about yourself, your studies and your life while driving to the restaurant.
The more you chatted the more comfortable he felt, you were witty, subtly flirty, exactly what he expected.
Truth was that he would have jumped on you immediately but he was trying to control himself so you wouldn't think he was a creep.
His cock however was of a different opinion, his jeans were starting to get really tight and he was afraid you would notice. You had a smirk on your face, something that made him think it was possible that you were desiring him as much as he was desiring you but he didn't want to risk making a wrong move.
“I'm sorry not to see your cap tonight” you had joked and then added ”your hair looks good though.”
“Thank you.”
“And I like the shirt,” you had said, lingering with your gaze on his outstretched arm holding the steering wheel.
He had decided to take you to one of his favorite restaurants, nothing too fancy because he wouldn't feel comfortable, the place was warm and familiar and put him at ease.
He had asked for a table with settees, to have a chance to be closer and talk more easily.
Maybe even reach out a hand to your beautiful thighs, if he had any luck.
You had ordered and he had chosen a wine, you had continued talking, and you had asked him several questions, very politely, without making him feel like you were interviewing him.
“So you were in the army...and you can fly a helicopter. Heck, I never would have guessed that. I like a competent man,” you had cooed, and he had felt his neck and face on fire. God, he wanted you so badly he felt like he might explode at any moment.
“Yeah...apparently,” he had replied proudly.
“And how did you end up opening a cafe?”
He had become serious, feeling that he was about to open up about something very intimate “Well...I actually couldn't take that life anymore. It's very hard, you know. When I got discharged, I thought all I needed was to live a quiet life without slinging a rifle for hours and playing with danger 24/7.”
You had nodded, “sure, that's perfectly understandable. It must have been brutal.”
“It was. I decided to open a coffee shop because well... basically, I love coffee.”
You had burst out laughing, a full, lovely laugh that had made it difficult for him to keep his hands in place resting on the table.
“It makes perfect sense,” you had agreed immediately afterward.
You had kept talking until you had said, “So, Francisco Morales, I have a question for you.” your expression was enigmatic and he didn't understand where you were going with this.
“Go ahead.”
“Why haven't you kissed me yet?”
He had chuckled, “Good question. And I really want to do that. I've wanted to do it from the first moment I saw you,” he had admitted.
“Then do it,” you had urged him.
He had moved closer toward your lips, breathing in your perfume mixed with the scent of your skin; you smelled good, clean, like a sunny morning in spring.
Your lips were even better than he had imagined. Soft, delicious, inviting. You were incredible.
Everything around was suddenly gone, there was only you and the way your lips encouraged him to continue, the way they had parted at the approach of his tongue, your intoxicating taste on his tongue.
Your fingers lingered on his biceps, wandering over his shirt and down his forearm, while his hand wrapped around your face caressing your cheek.
He had pulled away from you a moment before putting on a show inside the restaurant, his hands tingling with the urge to touch your breasts, reach down between your legs, get rid off your dress and finally feel your body against his.
“God...maybe we should go,” you had whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
“I think so, too,” he had breathed.
He had stood up trying to keep at bay his erection pressing impatiently against his jeans.
He had paid the bill and escorted you out, despite your insistence to go halfsies.
Once you reached the car he had not resisted and had kissed you again, pushing you against the door. “I want you so bad,” he had whispered against your skin.
“Take me home,” you had replied, looking into his eyes in a way that drove him crazy.
Once in the car, you had placed your hand on his leg squeezing it from time to time. At a stoplight, you had moved your hand to his hard-on, massaging it slowly. “God, you are naughtier than I thought.”
"Is that bad?" you had asked feigned innocence.
“Not at all, baby...if I'm being honest...fuck...” he had interrupted when you had squeezed harder on his cock ”Christ, I can't wait to rip that dress off you.”
“I’m glad to hear that” you had replied in a honeyed voice.
_________________________________
The instant you had entered the door he had dragged you into the bedroom.
He had pulled down the zipper of your dress, letting it fall at your feet, and pushed you onto the bed.
“You're so beautiful.” he had whispered, almost more to himself, as if trying to convince himself that indeed everything he had imagined in previous weeks was coming out of the territory of his wanking material.
“You too,” you had replied sweetly, ”why don't you get rid of those clothes and come and get me?”
Frankie hadn't had it repeated, standing naked in front of you in an instant; he had never undressed so quickly even when he was in the army and had to observe a curfew.
He had stretched out beside you, his cock semi hard, his hands roaming over the bare skin of your hips over your panties, reaching up to graze your lace bra, brushing against your exposed neck as you lay limply sprawled on his bed as beautiful as a goddess.
“Tell me what you want me to do, baby,” he had whispered.
“What you want, I-” you had tried to answer but he had interrupted you.
“No, tell me, please. I would like to hear it. I would like you to tell me exactly what you would like me to do to you.,” he had urged you “is that okay?”
“Yeah” you murmured
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I like it…so uhm…Undo my bra and play with my titties, first. Would you?” You cooed.
“Of course, honey” he replied
You got up to sit to ease it, and then you lay down again as he tossed the bra to one side.
Frankie's eyes were fixed on your exposed breasts, he reached out a hand surrounding one of them with his palm, marveling at the softness of your skin.
“Jesus, I’ve never seen anything more perfect”
Your skin exuded an enveloping warmth that flowed through his body and merged with him. He moved a finger closer to your areola, circling your nipple very slowly and then pinching it suddenly, making you gasp.
“Too much?”
“No…go on” you sobbed “please”
“How?” He pressed you gently, continuing to brush your nipple with his fingertip.
“With your mouth…” you murmured.
He was full hard at that point, his cock grazing at your thigh while he lowered himself on your of your tit, sticking out his tongue and making you arch your spine as soon as he kitten licked your nipple. He smirked “mmm so sensitive, baby” before wrapping his lips around your bud and beginning to suck slowly, his beard pinching lightly against your skin.
His tongue brushed over you in short thrusts as he sucked greedily, his hand slowly descended over your torso, over your tummy, down to your mound and had stopped there, just above the hem of your panties.
You groaned beneath him, melting at his touch, he could feel your body slowly becoming more pliant to him.
“Yes - oh my god - go on like that” you whined and he couldn’t help but smile on your skin.
“What more do you want me to do?” he had asked, and to your discomposed groaning he had replied ”with your words, remember?”
He liked that you were slowly losing control, your barely half-closed eyes glazed with pleasure silently pleading with him.
“Touch…touch my pussy. Please”
He had moved his fingers down from your mound, slowly, over your folds, feeling your body tense deliciously.
His index and middle fingers had slipped between them, bathing in your essence.
"God, you're soaked," and you had panted.
You looked like a dream to him, your hair disheveled on his sheets, your legs spread wide for him, your breath coming in short gasps, your little pendant that rose and fell on your chest as he worked in your cunt with his fingers, lingering on your opening, going up to your clit and barely touching it, leaving you eager and hungry, just as he wanted.
"mmm more, please" you had begged and a smirk had unfolded on his face "be more specific, baby"
“I want ... fuck ... I want you to put them in me.”
"Yeah? You want me to finger-fuck this pretty cunt?” He purred, while stroking your labia, gently circling your clit with his thumb.
“Yes” you had sighed and he had easily entered you, slipping into your arousal.
He had curled his fingers looking for your special spot as you squeezed them hard “Oh damn...right there...God Frankie...right there” you had whined as a swell of pride was spreading in his chest and his cock throbbed.
You had the sweetest pussy he had ever been lucky enough to see, the obscene wet sounds coming out of her as he never stopped moving his fingers inside you was heaven.
You were magnificent, just magnificent, his cock was begging for mercy but he had no intention of rushing it. He wanted to fill his eyes with you, he wanted to see you sink beneath him, to lose your inhibitions completely.
Every fiber of his body longed for you but he stifled his need to take care of yours first; it was too good to see you like that, your pussy clenching convulsively, your mouth half-open, your moans filling his ears.
“I need...your mouth...”
“Where?” he had asked feigning naivete.
"On my clit...please" you had cried.
He had moved, taking down your panties, lowering to reach for your clit, passing his tongue flatly all over it.
“suck it,” you had said in a whisper, ”please.”
And so he had done, taking it between his lips, savoring your taste on his tongue as you cried your last wail and broke down in shattering pleasure.
Your back had arched, your hand had flown through his hair as the other gripped his sheets tightly, and your hips pushed against his lips, your lips bent in a grimace of pleasure that radiated into your eyes, your pupils dilated, tiny droplets of sweat beading on your forehead.
“Yes… fuck… YES”
He had continued to lick and suck and push on your spot until you had calmed down.
But you were not yet satiated, as soon as you had regained the ability to speak you had whispered, “I want your cock.”
“Mmm baby” he had said arching an eyebrow, scrutinizing your face unmade with pleasure and your eyes still glazed with your orgasm.
“Really. I want it.”
You had accompanied this last sentence by wrapping your delicate hand around his length "he wants me too," you had said with a smirk, beginning to massage him, running a finger over the tip to collect the pre cum dripping down profusely from it.
“who am I to say no to you...do what you want, baby” he had granted you.
As much as he had tried to dominate, he had to admit that he was completely subdued by you, and he didn't mind it, he didn’t mind that at all.
You had gotten up and gently pushed him onto the mattress, settling between his legs, locking your gaze with his, a glint of desire in your eyes as you began to lick his engorged tip, sliding down his shaft humming in pleasure “mmm you taste so good” you cooed.
"God, baby, if you do this I'm not going to last long."
He had craned his neck not to miss any of your moves, but he already felt he was on the verge of bursting, had tried to control his breathing and stay right on the edge, without plummeting down.
"Hold on a little longer, I want you to finish in my pussy. Please, Frankie?” You had purred.
He had let out a long sigh as your mouth descended on his cock, enveloping it as much as you could, continuing to stroke the rest with your hand. You had red nail polish, just like in his fantasies, but the reality was even better. Your mouth was incredible around his cock, your tongue vexing his swollen veins, your saliva sliding slowly going to pool on his crotch.
“Please, baby,” he had grunted, and you had hummed in response, vibrating on his cock.
Your tongue had swirled over his red, swollen tip, then you had pulled away and said, "Please what?" glancing at him.
“Sit on me, please, I can’t…” he had groaned.
You had moved warily, straddling him, taking his cock back into your hand, aligning it with your entrance.
You had lowered yourself slowly, moaning "you are so thick" as he felt your cunt open up for him, your walls stretch and your essence coiling around him mixing with your saliva.
“And you are so tight ... fuck, baby, it’s so good.”
The instant you had sat completely on him had been unreal, he felt so deep inside you he swore he was pressing against your cervix, and you were squeezing him so hard he had thought he would lose his mind. You began to roll your hips over him, rubbing your clit with your fingers while your other hand was anchored on his hip.
He had begun to move his hips in rhythm with yours, thrusting inside you “harder” you had urged him “please, Frankie”
He was lost in the instant he had seen you bring one hand to your tit, kneading your breast as you continued to ride him faster and faster, pinching your nipple while rubbing your clit with the other.
“I’m coming…fuck..where, babe?” He had stammered and you cried “inside, please, I’m on the pill.” You had thrown your head back immediately after, your eyes closed, your mouth open, your disheveled hair falling over your neck, seeing you so totally ravished had made him explode inside you, painting your hot, soaked walls with his cum.
You were collapsed on top of him, wrapping yourself around his body while he was still pulsing inside you. You had waited for his breathing to return to normal by peppering his neck with little kisses, going up his jaw and ending on his lips.
He had hugged you tightly, reveling in your warmth, the softness of your breasts on his chest, your legs wrapped tightly with his, and the intoxicating scent of your skin.
You had hummed in the crook of his neck, then looked into his eyes and moved a lock of hair from his sweat-beaded forehead, kissing him one more time, his mustache tickling your cupid's bow.
“From the first time I saw you, I knew we would end up like this, you know?” you had said with a proud undertone.
“Oh yeah?” he had replied, wryly raising an eyebrow, ”how were you so sure?”
You had looked at him with the look of someone who knows very well what she is talking about and had replied, “For three reasons. First, I noticed right away how you were looking at me, second, I wanted it too and usually when I want something I get it, and third, you never charged me for the extra cream.”
bb tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @harriedandharassed @milla-frenchy @almostempty @thundermartini @cas-readsandwrites @lemon-nomel
I would like to add a couple of special people that I am starting to know a little bit better and I like them a lot: @arcanefox207 @joelmillerisapunk @gothcsz @msjarvis
archive: @pedrostories
#frankie morales x f!reader#frankie morales fanfiction#pedro pascal#frankie morales smut#frankie morales#pedro pascal characters fanfiction#pedro pascal characters fanfic#frankie catfish morales#francisco morales x reader#triple frontier fanfic#triple frontier au#pedro pascal character fiction#ppcu fandom#ppcu fanfiction
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they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one
alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way
#scribbles#milton r wallace#callum crown#phonegingi#sgt norm allen#norm allen#dialtown#dialtown a phone dating sim#..uh idk if callum and milt have a ship name orz#normgingi#milton norm parallels save me. Save me milton norm parallels#very specific but its why i prefer to look at the callum-milt-marla situation as like tragic polyamory#as opposed to a cheating one#it adds to the callum-gingi parallels. theyv both got polycule situations C:#though i suppose you could call a cheating situation a dark parallel to gingi's polycule the same way you could call#milton's entire deal a dark parallel to their relationship with norm/the narrator#However i just like tragic polyamory. my visions of milton and marla ALSO being in love yet having the mutual#realization that they hate callum more than they love eachother (esp milton) is highly specific yet also everything to me#misery loves company and all that jazz. a THIRD combination of people having divorce shit going on#this guys ruining my life IM GONNA FUCK HIS WIFE! (They are already in a consensual polyamorous relationship milton is just making it weird#Sorry these tags were going to be like meaningful discussion about this art and then i was enabled to talk about THIS AGAIN#OH YEAH this art in particular i discovered halftones and also started actually using blending brushes#milts face isnt drawn. obviously. but im imagining a kind of 'oh you!' exasperated fondness#as opposed to norm who's just a cranky little tsundere. jokes on milt though HIS relationship is HEALTHIER#also i will never pass up the chance to draw gingi and callum together#theyr both characters i adore drawing gingi's round shapes and different textures and callums cute little bolts#but also they do look soooo similar and yet so different its always really fun to do#and theyr just. my favs lol. my top 3 favs go gingi-mingus-callum hehe#Ok thats all. thank you for coming to my rambles#fig said i should post my art at better times and so i am and that means when i post my art im AWAKE ENOUGH TO RAMBLE ABOUT IT LOL
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sbs#this is going to be entirely unrelated to the sbs above here bc i havent seen reservoir dogs#but i feel like i havent done a little tag life update in a minute#as of time of queuing this the season has been going for about a week#work hasnt been too bad we're normally done closing by like 3:45 but we still have to wait for the bus#which doesnt leave until almost 5 which. i get it.#like the lifties dont get done til after 4 and same with retail and such#bc rentals arent due until 4:15 so they have to stay open for at least that long#but man its not fun just chilling in the lodge for over an hour until the busses start loading#but the work is fine i'm enjoying it enough#hopefully by the time this posts i'll have been able to start taking my ski lessons which i'm super excited for#i want to learn to ski so so bad#also!! i managed to befriend one of the ski instructors on accident#he's from the same area i am as well so we talked a lot about that lol#but he's sweet i like talking to him#i made a comment about how my brother was getting so old bc he turns 18 in june and he went#so what does that make me#sorry but you are 21 you are baby to me (a whole 24 years old)#the difference is i've known my brother for his whole life and you for all of like. three days#but yeah that's mod's life so far its been chill#but man i get winded just climbing the stairs up to the lodge every morning#tbf we are at like. 11000 feet above sea level so like#the air is suuuuuuuuper thin#also we're right along the continental divide too#its beautiful 10/10 would recommend#also editing this on 11/21 to add the steve buschemi screengrab
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Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me
#hyrule warriors#hw link#kheprri rambling#fucked by the ‘perfect hero’ treatment and is a little hit jaded and scruffy and i am INSANE FOR IT#he does not cope well and i love that for him#obsessed with him. been thinking about him for a couple months now for my wargod au and yall i cannot stop#volga gets the treatment too but its slightly less noticeable coz hes a dragon#also sorry about there being nothing going on. every time i want to start on something i get hit by just utter pain and cant focus#so ive just been playing games and sleeping trying to get through it lol#but that also gave me a lot of thinking time for the aus. especially the main one (and this one obv)#also sorry if u dont vibe with the headcanon/au. hes far from being a dick or entitled hes just tired of being perfect for others—#—and just wants to live in peace with his dragon bf lmao#2024+ is the era of khep(me) forcing myself to draw facial hair because ive always been afraid of not doing it right#actually i love drawinf facial hair and all hair in general tbh im just horrified of people being like ‘lol ur wrong die’ XD#anyways sorry. rambling. too many brain thoughts not enough outlets for#will be posting the mistflier species sheet wip on kofi eventually i just wanna type the words out to make it more legible#it IS still a wip and thats why its gonna be going on kofi until its finished#<- and also coz its tailnrr related
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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).
ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.
so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu bes#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3#btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context#by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3#my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing#mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect#as mentioned in the post above#you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about#like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough#i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪
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bought "immortal life" as a gift for myself and I'm immediately obsessed
it's stardew valley style farm sim but xianxia (said by someone who never played stardew or farm sims this is guesswork lol)
anyway it's early access now but it will come out as a full game in Jan 2024! and I guess there is a possibility that the price will go up once it's a full game cuz that happens sometimes so if ur interested now is your chance hah (its on sale rn for 11,19€)
#immortal life#immortal life game#chen yuanzhou#Mu Xia#wei hong#oughhh its so charming i love it#funnily enough every time i play rpg games i pause the plot to go fish or farm whenever I'm allowed but I'm not really into farm sims lol#but this one spoke to me due to obvious reasons hahha#shout out to yumehbby who mentioned this under my yi xian post some time back and its been in my wishlist on steam ever since lol#im holding all of the characters gently all of them are my beloveds#i wont go too indepth over it here cuz A. im just 10 hours in lol B. i will talk more about it in a post I want to make in the future#rec list with other wuxia games and such#anyway as you may have noticed in the drawings my squad is very broke. but especially me hfjkdhgk#why is it my job to pay for the rebuilding 😭😭😢 im just a farmboy shouldn't that be Ji Yaohuas job shes in charge of the finances???#girl i love you but where am i supposed to get 5k spirit shards i just paid 3k ur killing me#is this her punishment for my unwise financial decisions of buying hair bleach for 100 gold pieces?? im sorry pls Ji-shijie......
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very late art trade for @y0d00p!
#video games#kirby#dark meta knight#i wanted to do your gijinka design just to make it a little more personal of an image at least#again so sorry for takjng so long i know you were worried about the same but... art. am i right 😔#i think you said you prefer when people post their sides of things so i wanted to make sure i was like proud enough to do that at least LOL#and i need to just Post it at this point
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What do you think about gojo ships
I feel like I'm pretty indifferent to most of them. This is super cringe of me, but whenever I fall super in love with a character I don't often like shipping them romantically with anyone. 💀 (im delusional I know)
It doesn't help that for some reason the jjk fandom (especially twt) is weirdly aggressive about ships. I know it isn't all the shippers and it's mostly just the loud minority, but seeing so much of the discourse has kinda put me off and I don't really engage much with the ships in the fandom except for rarepairs and selfships bc alot of the time those communities are more wholesome and cozy (if that makes sense LOL)
#satofie best ship#andnajdjskdjksnfksndjdj im sorry im cringe 😔😔#anyways i honestly have no idea#its not even about not liking seeing him with others bc i enjoy seeing other ppls gojo × oc/selfships#i just for some reason dont really vibe with any of the existing gojo ships in the series#weirdly enough if i had to choose one i feel like sukugo is the most interesting one LOL they are so funny with eachother#i feel like in a different life they really couldve hit it off#i feel bad for gojohime shippers sometimes#like i personally dont like the ship but oh my god ppl on twitter are so mean about that ship i dont even know why ???#is it bc alot of them prefer him shipped with a guy ?? or they dont like seeing another woman that isnt them with him?? i dont know#but i see so much hate for it and it makes me sad bc like just move on or mute the account so u dont have to see it if you really hate it#the amount of times ive seen some big jjk account qrt a fanart dissing the ship while also getting more likes than the artists post is craz#why do ppl fight over fake people kissing.......#i remember this one account specifically that was obsessed with gojo but they were so snobby about it and like gatekeeping other fans#and they really hated gjhm and for some reason felt the need to make it into a problematic ship instead of just saying#i dont like this and moving on#but they made this whole thing abt how toxic they actually are bc utahime hates gojo#only to (in the same thread) gush over their fave ship which was nanago#and i felt crazy bc its......literally the same dynamic what#like am i missing something ?????#anyways this got a bit wild but pls be nice to eachother and respect eachothers ships#you dont have to justify why u dislike a ship you can just not like it#no need to turn it problematic
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One thing that has deeply annoyed me about the response from Americans/Westerners about this week's events in Korea is that a lot of them, including people I like and respect, are like, "The protesting civilians and lawmakers who barged into the National Assembly would've been shot if this were the U.S./this would've never happened in the U.S. because people are too afraid of being shot." There's some truth to that, at least with regard to state violence, but I'm fed up because it doesn't account for how frightening this could have turned out to be had it not been for how much of an inept flop dunce Yoon Sukyeol is. It minimizes the courage of those who showed up.
Sure, it was likely that the military and riot police wouldn't have done much (again, YSY's self-coup wasn't thought out well, and there's more evidence of that as military officials and soldiers are speaking up about the lack of information they received, but I'll refrain from talking about that to avoid making this even longer than it inevitably will be, knowing myself), but let's not pretend there haven't been issues with them in recent years. They pepper sprayed and used water cannons during an anniversary rally for the Sewol ferry victims (x) (x) (if you don't understand how unbelievably cruel that is, look into the horrific Sewol ferry sinking). They tear gassed crowds (Korea has a gruesome history of this) and sprayed water cannons, and citizens have been injured and killed during the 2015 protests and 2016-17 Park Geunhye impeachment protests, notably Baek Namgi, an elderly activist whose death caused global outrage (x) (x). Park Geunhye was going to enforce martial law during those protests according to a leaked document, with hundreds of tanks, thousands of soldiers and special force troops! (x)
Not to mention, there are decades of extreme state violence that have scarred an entire country and are still super fresh for a huge percentage of the population. Again, check out that tear gas history piece. Look up the April Revolution, Gwangju massacre, and June uprising and see just how bloody they were. Thousands of civilians were tortured and killed. Look at how many protests were going on year after year during the 1980s. That isn't that long ago! All those older people who ran to the National Assembly to stop the coup? You bet a lot of them were college students who protested during that time or knew people who did. All the younger people? They may not have experienced what it was like living under martial law, but as I said, state violence still occurs, however much it's dwindled over the years, and you have to account for generational trauma. I don't think I'll ever forget the way I felt when I saw the breaking news alert about the martial law declaration on December 3. I've never experienced that, at least to that degree.
Instead of viewing the response from civilians and elected officials through the framework of police brutality in the U.S., it should be contextualized using Korea's own history. Thankfully most of the serious discussions are doing this, but like I said, even people who are smart about reading up on things have reflected on how this wouldn't fly in the U.S., not because of the difference in protest history, civil movements, and public engagement with both in the two countries but because of the military/police response. There's an insinuation there that Koreans would be more reluctant to do what they did if they knew what it's like to live in fear of violence instead of living in such a safe country like Korea...and I want to yell.
It was monumentally brave of everyone to do what they did to stop the coup. We're all laughing at how stupid the coup was and there's a reason why people were more furious than scared because of the political history of Korea and the laws set in place to protect the democracy and neutralize coup attempts, but this could have easily become a disaster. It's not alarmist of me to say so because there was no way for anyone to be 100% sure of how the military would react—especially when no one knew what the hell was going on.
#i am...not vibing with these posts about how people are like 'omg those poor soldiers/good on them for dragging their feet'#yes mandatory military service means being there against your will#and i DO believe a lot of soldiers probably were super shaken or confused by what was going on#especially with the news coming out that soldiers weren't aware of what their mission was#to find out your orders and see your people look at you with rage disgust and maybe even fear especially as a young person...#i get that it's upsetting and you can tell that a lot of them didn't want to be there!#but lol are we forgetting there are people who weren't conscripts involved?#are we forgetting that people will follow directions if it's drilled into them to do say especially with the threat of retaliation?#are we forgetting that mandatory military service goes back decades#and amazingly soldiers and police still committed atrocities against civilians during previous protests or what?#idk i think it's your moral duty to engage in weaponized incompetence malicious compliance insubordination etc.#when you're asked to do something evil so i don't really want to praise people for being decent#even if i'm glad they did and i'm relieved they did it you know? but that's just me#omg sorry i'm ranting. ANYWAY! history in every single country has shown#how easy it can be for things to go south rapidly so while there were things that made the coup expire as quickly as it did#and it's HILARIOUS and i'm enjoying myself...it could have turned out very different#just a few wrong turns—just ONE wrong turn—and it could have been bad#rules and orders are good and all but if someone wants to commit violence they will do it#i'm just relieved i didn't have time to worry myself sick over this before it was all over lmao#so i can just feel a lot of pride and admiration for everyone doing their best to exercise and protect their rights#and do it with great panache and fun. the protests are like concerts! the protest songs are so funny#the signs!!!!! i'm dying over them. the number of people paying for food and drinks for the protestors#enough that businesses in the protest areas had to stop taking prepaid orders!#the older people who said they have to get to the front that night to protect all the young protestors with their bodies#in case the military tries to attack civilians! 😭 that part made me almost cry#the ajusshi who (drunkenly?) shouted how much he loved all his friends who came out to protest like the old days#democracy is fragile and we have to protect it#and i think korea right now is a shining beacon of the power of the people
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i cant explain it but daigo being subtitled to just be like 'you're making me look like i have no balls' feels so illegal and wrong. hilarious but something's off
#snap chats#WAIT I HAVE TO INTERRUPT THIS POST WITH THE FUNNIEST SHIT#SO I WAS GETTING FOOD FROM MY SCHOOL'S DINING HALL AND YOU CAN WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT ON A SHEET YEAH#AND I SAID I WANTED A SAMMY AND FRIES OK BUT WHEN I GET MY PLATE ITS JUST FRIES#AND YK W/E OK I'LL JUST EAT THAT BUT THEN. WHILE IM LIKE. GETTING PIZZA TO SUB IT YEAH#I HEAR THE COOKS BE LIKE 'yoo why do we just have a sandwich here' AND THE BIN IT#AND I WAS LIKE 'was that a chicken sandwich cause uhhh <:)' AND THE WOMAN WAS JUST ':OOO IM SO SORRY'#LIKE DAWG /IM/ SRRY I FEEL BADLKAJLJ but yeah. they were nice enough to make me another one 😭#ok. back on topic with this fuckin post SORRY. i just have all these potatoes and a pizza to eat with this sadnwich now#i didnt eat breakfast or lunch so its ok. moving on#watch me explain it lol. i think its just cause its hard fr me to imagine daigo even saying balls like that. in jp or english#like he just doesnt have the Oomph to do it like the kansai bitches#see this how i know jo from kansai.... that easy as balls to imagine...#LIKEIM TELLING YOU THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAY BALLS AND MEAN IT ARE KANSAI/EAST COAST BITCHES#in regards to eng its the accent... you just put a heavy mphasis on the b yk... any east coast bitches know what im talkin bout#or am i insane.it could be both idk#its cause in context he looks so meek like no !!!!! you dont be shy about balls talk !!!!!!!#I JUST IMAGINE HIM SAYING IT SO POLITE LIKE NO !!!! YOU HAVE TO SAY IT WITH FEELING. WITH YOUR BALLS#anyway daigo bb ily and i care for you but youre not hard enough to say balls#which is the most insaane thing i could say considering Daigo And His History but yk... im right...
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i'm a bit too busy to write up a proper essay since i have a deadline to meet, so i'm stealing my own tags from last year's anniversary post since it expresses the sentiments i want to express, BUT the fact that i'm too busy in lieu of a deadline is extremely poetic in itself. 5 years ago today--which was also a Friday the 13th!--i got into Looney Tunes which has drastically changed every single aspect of my life. i'm working my dream job because of it. i've finally found my place in the world and have gotten so many wonderful opportunities and met so many wonderful friends and acquaintances and coworkers. i know it seems silly to commemorate but it really was like finding a puzzle piece that clicked into place that i never knew was missing and never knew how badly i needed it clicked INTO place. seriously can't stress just how much it was needed and how grateful i am to be doing what i'm doing. i'm sure one day i'll make a more intelligible post more accurately articulating my gratitude, but for now i just wanted to give a shout since 5 years is nothing to sneeze at and i feel it's really only just the beginning. of what, i'm not sure! but i have my career and friends and livelihood and perhaps even my life here because of it and so it's important for me to commemorate. thank you for supporting me through it all!
#sorry i am SO DISTRACTED Porky is yelling in my ear right now as i type this and i need to be working so this is probably nonsense#and i think i've made enough similar posts in this vain to get the point across#but i'm in very synonymous circumstnces today that i was in 5 years ago today and so i'm just so grateful for it all i'm grateful to be her#it does get me a little emotional to think about lol. 'Daffy Duck taught me how to love myself' is such a funny phrase but a very truthful#to the point that i'm getting emotional aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :')
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feel like the global tasks sweep strat should probably be nerfed somehow. my thought would be, give each team an individual ten minute overall cooldown on global task claims. that is to say, a certain team can only claim one global task per ten minutes. say, deliver gas masks, and then in ten minutes you're allowed to deliver tea, and then after another ten minutes you can claim hot chocolate.
another teams would be able to claim a global task for bananas during this time, and their own ten minute cooldown would start.
(the global tasks can either keep their individual ten minute cooldown [i.e. after tea is claimed no one else can claim tea for ten minutes] or a slightly shorter cooldown, say 5-7 minutes)
when a global task is claimed, everyone is notified, right? if not, in my hypothetical, they will be.
then, a team trying to sweep six tasks at once would actually take sixty minutes to do, allowing another team to swoop in and have a chance to stop it in cinematic, entertaining fashion rather than tubbo having to grind resources and then log out in front of the merchant to counter this, which is boring for everyone (including the person delivering). plus, if a team cuts it down to the last second and ends up getting delayed, they physically wouldn't have time to make a delivery, meaning even being a BIT of a nuisance could be a viable strategy, even if you can't manage to kill; if you can STALL you could still wreck their plans.
that's my dream anyway idk i'm not a game designer. just think it would be interesting for most players
(i elaborate under)
red team would have to shake up their strategies, which is fun since they're a team that kinda has to rely more on strategy than outright brawn (overall the team's pvp can't be relied on unless they have carre or phil, as seen today when pierre, bad, and etoiles attacked phil cellbit foolish and baghera, and cellbit and foolish both died to etoiles in the attack, despite it being a 4 on 1 at the time. baghera was killed by bad soon after. phil was the one to get the kills. the first day, when blue attacked [niki, tubbo, and bad as i recall] carre got both kills)
the other teams would then still have a way to stop a global sweep since a sweep would have to start earlier, allowing not only more time to arrive at global to pvp about it, but ALSO allowing another team to swoop in and steal the goal out from under the team again
i'm gonna use it in a scenario bc i'm badboyhalo and i can't stop myself from making examples:
so, tonight, if the proposed cooldown was in place, bad and tubbo would both still had roughly 17 minutes when red team would have HAD to start the sweep process if they wanted all six global tasks: 1 hour until the server closed at absolute MINIMUM. more for safety's sake.
therefore, in this scenario, there's a lot to happen
blue team could wait at globals, knowing red will probably try this strategy, and attempt or perhaps SUCCEED in killing red. if they kill red entirely, the operation is a wash; red doesn't have to gear to come back from scratch and take out blue team, and even if they could, the travel time to return to globals alone would mean they wouldn't get all the global tasks, potentially meaning they don't take the lead. if blue team is unable to kill red and dies themselves or has to retreat, but succeeds in delaying red, red would face the same problem.
if red sends in all of the task items on one person, and that person dies, even if the rest survived, blue could loot the items from that person and would be able to either use the items themselves, if green is currently the owner, or could run away with the items, effectively wasting red's time and again, meaning they wouldn't get all tasks claimed even if they were able to overtake the runner and reclaim their items.
i'm unclear what would happen if red divided the task items between them since it seems like the person claiming the task doesn't have to have all (or any? again, unclear) the items in THEIR inventory in order to claim so long as a teammate is nearby with the items in their inv (evidence: pac's vod "voltei... o que tá acontecendo no QSMP?!" at roughly 3:00:00; tubbo claims tea and tea is taken out of pac's inventory. i don't know the limits of this strategy)
blue team also has time to swoop in and steal a global task out from under red during this time. say, if red team had claimed the task for 10 tea leaves, upping the price to 15 tea leaves, and then blue team snuck in and claimed the task and set the price up to 20 tea leaves, (since the proposed 10 minute cooldown on claims would be TEAM LIMITED; red's cooldown applying to red only and so on). if red waited until the last second, they wouldn't have the time to reclaim this task even if they did have the resources, possibly forcing them to start their sweep earlier to counter this possibility, at which point team members who had logged on earlier and are out of time by the end of the night, OR members who live in time zones that don't allow them to stay up until server close, may have an easier shot at participating in defending against a global sweep.
all of this DIRECT CONFLICT would make for good audience entertainment and heighten the stakes of an attempted global sweep, since it would practically have to be one team defending globals for an hour while they pipe all their resources into it, knowing that if they die another team could easily swipe their task resources and use it themselves (along with the rest of their gear). it makes it more interesting, while still mostly viable.
plus it would force more strategizing for red team which is maybe just a personal plus, i just really like seeing people planning both in advance and in spur of the moment. it's really satisfying to see how a plan comes together and succeeds or fails; plus, since red team is the main team using this strategy at the moment and their main draw and strength as a team is cohesion and communication this would be completely fucking riveting for me as a viewer so maybe this is just a personal thing. but i really really think it would be fun
but again, i'm not a game designer, or a qsmp player, or a qsmp admin, or honestly even really a gamer? so maybe i'm off my rocker and out of my gourd and this isn't viable or balanced in any way shape or form but YKNOW what is this blog except putting stupid thoughts into the void and seeing if this time the void spits back hate mail so. i'm folding this into a paper airplane and throwing it into the abyss. hopefully it made sense.
k love you appreciate you getting this far, have a good week!!
(i hope your team gets a win in dramatic fashion and celebrates together!!! i hope they come together and unleash a plan so spectacular it takes the server by storm!!! i hope it's so good it becomes a vod you go back to even years in the future!!!! i hope you have a good week!!!!!)
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#shut up vic#block game brainrot#yes it's long beneath the keep reading no i'm incapable of being succinct#i color coded the important parts though i just wanted to try to be clear#examples are my bread and butter i do programming and math they make everything easier for me to understand#god i hope this makes sense to other people i didn't ask my biological peer reviewer so idk if this is stupid or not#tbh it's just a tumblr post so i guess it's whatever if it is but i put wayyy more work than necessary into double checking timelines lol#(i didn't watch blue today sorry :/ idr if i mentioned in the body of the post but i main red team)#(their energy is just more entertaining for me personally; though i kept an eye on pac once i could multi-watch!)#anyway other team mains feel free to weigh in if i'm making weird assumptions about what the teams are capable of#heaven knows my pov is biased here LMFAO#((for what it's worth i am fully aware this means red team aren't rly underdogs anymore and i super want them to be kicked in the stomach))#((back to the drawing board; what will they do??? I WANT TO KNOW :O))#((seeing them crawling back to victory from being like two pixels on the bar on sunday was great. more of that pls))#idk i've rambled enough#long tags#ignoring daylight savings it's technically one am goodnight friends i hope this post doesn't suck hahahaha...............#OH AND IF ANYONE THINKS I SHOULD TAG SOMETHING FOR FILTER PURPOSES ABSOLUTELY LET ME KNOW#i want to be courteous but i think this post is pretty neutral in tone? but if you think it deserves a tag i will absolutely add it!!!!!
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It's interesting to me that understandings of transsexuality have been almost exclusively filtered through the lens of queerness and the social aspects of gender. In other words, that the "T" was added to "LGBT." I've thought for a while that in a lot of cases, transness — and specifically dysphoria — makes a lot more sense when analyzed through the lens of disability rather than through queerness. (Personally I see it as being at the intersection between those things.)
I think that a theory of transsexuality would be incomplete without taking into account the societal aspects of gender, yes, but it seems to be similarly incomplete in the popular understanding of it.
I've seen a lot of discussion in the stuff I've read by disabled people about the contention between being objectively harmed or, well, disabled, by your disability, but still wanting to be proud of it or finding identity in it regardless. A lot of autistic communities, I've noticed, talk a lot about the fact that being autistic is difficult; it's made worse by other people's reactions to it, but it still is hard on its own (e.g. auditory overstimulation); yet people still can say that they'd rather be autistic than not. Or they may say they wish they weren't, but that they've come to terms with it because it's not exactly changeable.
Point is, there's open discussion about the differences between inherent challenges to your disability regardless of society, the ways which ableism makes things more difficult, and the contention of finding identity and community in your disability despite that. (And I use autism as an example because I'm autistic; I don't want to speak for, say, a physically disabled community as I'm able-bodied. But I have seen similar discussions there as well.)
The trans community, as I've seen, doesn't really have that. We're polarized between the extremely self-hating people who think that being trans is a curse and that people who like being trans are just fakers co-opting transness, and the toxically positive contingent who refuse to engage with the fact that sometimes dysphoria really does just hurt. And also that transphobia exists.
There's also the fact that in many ways, dysphoria is actually disabling. It isn't for everyone, and part of the problem is that transness as a concept covers so many things that analyzing it through just one lens will always be incomplete, but for me at least it caused me a lot of depression and dissociation, and made it difficult-to-impossible to interact with other people or function at my classes. Back before I medically transitioned, I related a lot to some descriptions by disabled people about their chronic pain, because my dysphoria effectively was chronic psychological pain. I don't want to say it's the same thing, because obviously I've only experienced one of those things, and dysphoria has a treatment while many (all?) chronic illnesses don't, but nevertheless it was a comforting lens to think of my dysphoria through in the time before I got top surgery.
Also of note is the way both our communities are treated by the medical establishment. I've heard many horror stories by disabled people of how doctors simply refuse to diagnose them or give them issues with their meds. Trans people obviously also have to deal with the shit that doctors put out in order to get access to HRT and any necessary surgeries. People deride HRT, saying that we shouldn't take it because it'll "make you a medical patient for life." People act like mental pain isn't real — calling depression fake, acting like because things like fibromyalgia aren't "real pain" that it shouldn't bother you so much, etc. — and that extends too into the way they dismiss the pain of gender dysphoria.
So, I don't really understand why the trans community has taken so many pains to disavow themselves from being considered even remotely similar to disabled people. I know that the common refrain, "we're not mentally ill!" is meant to combat the idea that we're deluded into thinking that we're a "different gender" than we really are, but the effect is throwing actually mentally ill trans people under the bus. The insistence that there's no way that dysphoria should be considered a disorder because there's nothing wrong with us — I just think that we could take a hint or two from the way that disabled people theorize about this subject.
#trans#transgender#transsexual#o.#trans theory#disability#this post is kind of all over the place bc I have a lot of thoughts on the subject and I haven't really organized them yet#so sorry for the rant#hopefully someone who knows more about sociology and/or disability theory than I do can say whether any of this makes sense lol#I am very much not a sociologist or even close to being one#also theres a whole bunch of other ways I think the trans community could benefit from listening to disabled people that I didnt say bc thi#post is long enough#(understanding ''disabled'' as an umbrella term which covers a wide range of disparate experiences)#(high-support needs vs low-support needs and understanding that some people need more stuff (analogous to more extreme dysphoria) but that#both are affected by their disability even if they might need different things)#(people have competing access needs sometimes & that doesnt mean that either person is wrong but just that every space can't cater to every#body)#just in general I think disability theory & even just general discussions in the disabled community seems a lot more robust and in depth#than the stuff I see about trans people#I really do tend to view my transness as more of a medical condition than a social identifier so maybe that influences my thoughts on the#matter#it seems the only other people who think that way are transmedicalists and I'm not touching them with a ten foot pole. their anti-nonbinary#hatred alone makes it impossible to even consider doing so
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käärijä drawing!!! because i have fallen in love with this man and i need to enforce my love for him onto everyone!!!!!!
can't believe the esc final was over a week ago, i am still INCREDIBLY bitter about the results. he should've won ughhhh i am exploding the jury in my mind💥💥💥💥 (p.s. tap the drawing for better quality if it's blurry 🥲)
#sorry to my followers for posting a non dr drawing! i hope nobody minds#käärijä#kaarija#jere pöyhönen#eurovision#esc23#idk what to tag this sorry i have no idea lol ive stared at so many käärijä posts but the tags aren't familiar enough in my mind yet#my art#anyway yeah i am in love with him<3<3<3♡♡💚💚💚💚💚 he is very special to me#cha cha cha#watched the livestream of his concert yesterday and i ughhhhhhh i love him#can i speak finnish? no. will that stop me from admiring him? of course not#do yourself a favour and listen to more of his songs than just cha cha cha though because all of his songs are so good !!!#if you are a follower of mine and have no idea what this is about i am sorry for your loss🥲 search finland eurovision final rn#<- (but not if you're photosensitive lol because. it is very flashy!!! as is the whole of eurovision)#im nervous to post this it's the first art im posting outside of dr but i hope people like it#anyway cha cha cha slays so hard#sorry for me going insane mode in these tags i just. i love him. i love him i love him i love him i love h
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holy crap lois
#squid game#cho sang woo#seong gi hun#kang sae byeok#squid game fanart#squid game finalists#player 218#player 456#player 067#farts#i am . so sorry about this but not enough to not post it LOL
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ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually
#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can#i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed#i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline#my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up#and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf#it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do#it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time#kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly#it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly#it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person#it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional#worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses#it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better#and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL
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