#i always wanted a popular post but now i get it i’m overwhelmed

[kkshowtunes]

google citing ao3 as a source is so unhinged

[ffc1cb]

new art blog

the short version:

1. i made a new art blog: @cbge;

2. @ffc1cb will stay up as an archive.

the long version:

hi everyone. this announcement is somewhat late, since the blog in question has been up for a few months now, and i’ve already started posting art on it. the reason it took me so long to “reveal” it is because i’ve been trying to figure out whether a new blog is something i actually want, or if it's just me throwing darts at a board, trying to make myself feel better somehow.

i don’t know when precisely it all started, but ever since sometime last year i’ve been going through a hard time, both emotionally and creatively. i’m not sure whether being depressed is what made art harder, or art becoming harder is what made me depressed (a bit of both, i think), but lately, drawing has been a struggle. 

i’ve found myself having less and less energy for art, and this lack of energy resulted in poorer quality of drawings, which resulted in me feeling like i’m getting worse at it, despite my efforts. i knew i could make good art, art that i’m proud of - i’ve done so countless times before, - but somehow it felt like i just couldn’t anymore, like my hands forgot how to. nothing looked right. 

i’ve been trying to experiment. i’ve learned some new things, tried this and that - it was enlightening, to say the least, and even though i kind of liked how it looked, it made me feel a sense of displacement. i was at odds with myself, my art, and how i felt about it, when previously i was always in sync. i was making art, yes, and it looked nice, but it felt like it wasn’t mine.

i suppose part of it was also the growing lack of engagement, and i don’t mean likes and reblogs - i never particularly cared about those. they are all just numbers to me; dry and impersonal. what i’m talking about is actual, human interactions: personal thoughts in tags, asks, replies, etc. a conversation. 

i don’t mean to sound “old” or anything, but i remember when talking to artists online was more commonplace. my wife tells me it’s because the internet culture has changed over the years, that people have become more reclusive, less willing to be open with their thoughts, and she's probably right, but in my slump i find it hard to believe. somehow it feels like it’s my fault for being less “engaging”, for seeming unapproachable or perhaps intimidating. maybe it’s “just a skill issue”, maybe it’s because i have stopped churning out fanart for popular fandoms, maybe it’s because i refuse to torture myself emotionally by having an art account on twitter (i can’t fucking stand the place anymore; i still post nsfw art there, but only because it’s literally one of the only places on the internet that allows you to do so. i miss when you could post female presenting tits on tumblr).

i have always, ever since i started posting art on the internet back in 2012, done it for human connection. i wanted to talk to people, and have people talk to me. i wanted to inspire people with my art, and i wanted to bring them comfort. i wanted to elicit an emotional response, and have people tell me about it. it was one of the main reasons i drew in the first place; having lost that, i’ve been struggling to stay passionate about making art.

i miss being a small artist on the internet during the 2010s. i remember when i could make a post going, “hey everyone, how are you all doing today?” and it would not seem weird to people in the slightest. it is just me? does anyone else feel that way? am i too deep in my own head? the internet feels so unwelcoming nowadays, especially to artists. we are all just content machines; people scroll by our stuff, or maybe look at it for half a second and leave a like before scrolling away. i know it’s unfair to demand people’s attention, especially now when our lives are already so overwhelmed by everything - no one has the energy to pay closer attention; i myself am not immune to mindless scrolling. but it feels bad. i wish we were all sincere and enthusiastic again.

anyway (sorry for rambling. i hope i haven’t bored you to death), you might want to say, okay, but how is making a new art blog on a “dying” social platform going to help with any of that? the truth is, i don’t know. i just felt like i needed a change. 

i’ve been running this blog since 2016 (that’s almost 8 full years!). i feel incredibly attached to it, but at the same time, i feel it weighing me down. 

there are people who followed me years ago for one specific thing, still expecting me to post about said thing (i still find it mindboggling that some people follow artists for a specific fandom only, but that is a whole other matter for a whole other post that i will never write). a third, if not half, of my following are probably dead blogs. and with my current struggle with trying to regain the joy i once felt for making art, looking back at all the art i’ve done over the years makes me feel tired. i still love it all; it’s all very dear to me. i’m proud of it; looking at it makes me mourn my younger and more passionate self.

so i’ve decided to make a new blog, where i will let myself post whatever i want, in whatever stage of donness i feel like. maybe it will help me, somehow. maybe it won’t. but if you care about my art, if you want to keep following me on my artistic journey, i welcome you to join me there. similarly, feel free not to - no hard feelings.

thank you everyone for your support over the years; it matters a lot to me. i’m not planning to delete or private this blog; it will stay up, and i will still be reachable on here. i will still answer asks, if there will be any. i’m just not planning to post any art here anymore. this is it for my dear old friend ffc1cb.

i can be found in other places:

@cbge, as mentioned earlier,

@k0nstanta, an art blog dedicated solely to my wife and i’s ocs,

@inquisimail, a dragon age ask blog that has become my dragon age sideblog in general,

and multiple other blogs, none of which are art related, but feel free to ask, if you’re curious.

thank you very much for reading all of this. i hope you have a wonderful day.

[zexapher]

Art Imitates Life

Had this idea in my back pocket for what must be a few months now, but after Akumu_Oukoku’s wonderful ‘Weiss is silly’ meme,  I thought I’d finally put this one together. That, and I wanted to make a little something to celebrate White Knight’s glorious victory in Ship Wars 8! The hordes of r/fnki well and truly descended upon the tournament, and all the better for White Knight!

I think there were a few folks on the regular sub that hadn’t quite realized just how popular White Knight had become within the community, but fnki itself has turned into something of a fortress for the ship, and the results of the tourney speak for themselves. White Knight really wound up dominating, becoming champion by an overwhelming margin, and with just Lancaster and Nuts & Dolts putting up strong competition in the previous rounds.

I’m impressed, and super stoked. It’s really something special seeing White Knight come out so strong after so many years treated as a pariah, having never before made it past the first round but now becoming the champion. The stars had aligned, really. The final round taking place on Weiss’ birthday, White Knight winning the championship being the perfect gift. Volume 9 had given the ship strong foundations to stand on. We can see that expressed in not only the various memes put out over time, but also in the A-Jaune-da alliance and numerous comments inundating the polls in order to promote the ship. White Knight shippers really had an incredibly strong messaging campaign this tournament, I might say no one else came close, and we always kept it positive. Everyone involved should feel proud.

Now, as for this meme, I chose these six characters (and Weiss) because I found it rather appropriate that they have all to some extent shipped White Knight in canon. Jaune, of course, is an obvious one. The story is littered with examples for him all the way through. Similarly, Weiss has been growing fonder of Jaune throughout the show, but Volume 9 saw her interest revealed in a very pronounced manner. Nora has the most tenuous claim here, having shared few moments with Weiss. However, Nora has a moment in Volume 5 where she teases Weiss about liking Jaune’s nickname, going on to tease the Ice Queen about her thawed heart.

Oscar, of course, gets his absolutely stoked look that he throws at Jaune when Weiss accepts Jaune’s invitation to the movies. Like, Oscar is just so happy for his big bro. Blake has a moment or two over the course of the show, notably her happy little glance between Jaune and Weiss at the Argus reunion, her smug look at the ~mature~ line, and how she perks up at Weiss’ giggle with Jaune about his restored youth. No real surprise there, since Blake is actually Jaune’s offscreen super-secret best friend. Yang herself throws a little dating advice Jaune’s way, and gets her ‘one day’ line, when our boy was down in the dumps following a rejection or two. She points out to Weiss that her harshness rejecting Jaune is the sort of thing that earned her the Ice Queen nickname. And, like Blake, Yang gets her own smug look following the ~mature~ line. Then there’s my most controversial addition to this list, Pyrrha. After all, she did walk Jaune through how to ask Weiss to the dance.

Yes, this was all an excuse for me to make a post about every little scrap from the show suggesting the characters ship White Knight. If anyone can think of any more, feel free to share. Maybe Cindere killing Jaune’s rival love interests, yet her attempts on Weiss’ life seem to have only helped Jaune and Weiss grow closer, hmmm. Well, I hope you all enjoy, I had good fun making it!

[froggibus]

u okay? u seemed so hyped for kinktober then u disappeared :(

hey! i'm so sorry about that, but i probably won't be finishing it off aside from the one for ffg

i was gonna make this post sooner but tbh i did not think anyone would really notice if i stopped posting

TLDR; I won’t be finishing the list, I’m on a teeny little hiatus & trying to do better

cw; mental health struggles, police, death

this was a bit of a hard post to write but I’ve always been transparent on this blog about my mental health, some of my most popular fics were related/about my struggles with ptsd, and I want to be open with you guys

my mental health has just been really bad for a while now and i feel completely overwhelmed

there’s also been a horrific situation in my dorm building this week where a student died, and there’s been police all over campus

there is a silver lining tho! i’m doing some counselling right now, i’m going back to my old job i loved and i get a little break for reading week soon!

really sorry I couldn’t finish the list :( I hope to do better next year.

I’ve been writing some lowkey hurt/comfort lately that might be posted later on; and I have a couple ideas for maybe some Christmas stuff

was there a post in particular you were hoping to see? i have a little time this weekend and a little inspo, maybe i could try to write it

[writingescapades]

Rafayel the Vlogger

To promote his new art installation and collaboration with another beauty company, the marketing team suggesting Rafayel vlog his life for 2 weeks to get people interested, especially the younger generation. How does our fishy cope?

A/N: We're going to pretend that Rafayel doesn't have a bounty on him.

Rafayel’s first instinct is a HELL NO. He’s an introvert. A private person. He doesn’t anyone to know about him and his life.

              Thomas: It’s for your art sales, Rafeyel!

              Rafayel: I’m okay with being poor.

Somehow Thomas coerces Rafayel into the idea. Probably threatening to send him off on long promos, forcing him to spend less time with you.

So, begrudgingly, Rafayel starts his vlogs. First video is him going, “I don’t want to do this but because we’re collaboration with REDACTED company, you now get to see this face for a week”.

Despite being unwilling, Rafayel knows his vlogging game. You bet he’s coming in with that aesthetic portrayal of his artistic life. The irony is that it’s not even pretentious or false. He really does live the life his vlogs depict. Goes really hard with ocean themes in his videos.

Doesn’t really show how he paints. He might bring his viewers to the art room, maybe play with the sound so that you hear his paintbrush. Or he’ll provide random aesthetic shots with music that capture his mood and thoughts while painting. But you’ll never see his actual work.

In fact, you see very little of him in the video. Rafayel prefers to show you his life, not himself. so his head is almost always out of shot, and sometimes all you will see are his hands. He’s a master at video editing, and enjoys using the videos to play with new editing techniques.

Loves shorts, but only uses them for 2 situations. The first to capture something beautiful and momentary like a rainbow appearing in the rain. The second is for those “what the” random as hell moments that make you crack a smile.

LOVES showing the food he’s making. It’s the only time you’ll see his full face as it focuses on dicing whatever he’s cooking. Always, always shows his platting and ensures that viewers see 2 plates. Only really cooks if you’re coming over, so when viewers see him cook, they know you’ll be around.

Speaking of you, Rafayel does not really show you in his vlogs. He respects your privacy, and doesn’t want the world to come down on you just because you choose to be part of his life. Also, he finds it creepy to film your relationship. It feels staged even if the emotions are real. Despite that, viewers do know he has a partner. They might know you when you accompany him as his bodyguard. And in his vlogs, they would have seen brief shots, often candid ones when you were just doing your own thing. But he never wholly includes you in these vlogs, and he always shows you what he filmed and gets your permission before posting them.

Despite not being a part of the vlogs, that doesn’t stop Rafayel expressing his love for you. The whole world knows just how damn much the man loves you. He’s not cheesy or ridiculous about it. In fact, he barely verbalizes it, no those words are meant for one person’s ears only. But they see it when they see him cooking you favourite meal, always having a cup of tea ready for when you appear. They see it in the little things you leave behind and the space he’s made for your life.

He really enjoys night routines because of how relaxing they can be. Loves it when you’re spending the night over. Again, he won’t film you, but viewers can tell you both are getting ready for bed and boy does he go hard with the ocean aesthetic here. Depicting animated sea creatures following the two of you as you prepare for sleep. The video sound itself, quieting down to calming ocean waves, and finally the depths of the sea as the camera fades out.

But after 2 weeks, Rafayel calls its quits. Despite the overwhelming popularity, he doesn’t like how much time it takes to edit the videos. Frankly, he finds his life not very interesting, and he doesn’t really want the world to shatter the little niche he’s carved out for himself. He thinks its more interesting to learn about people from what they leave behind and the mark they make in the world and in the lives of other people. He might try it again if the fancy takes him or if another company requests him to do so, but it’s not a hobby he wants to regularly do.

[lookismaddict]

Girly pop *sigh* it's been A YEAR SINCE YOU POSTED THE 12TH PART OF RENDEZVOUS WHEN ARE WE GETTING 13TH ???????

“Hi Cat, how have you been? I hope you’ve been doing well.” Oh, I’ve been doing fine. Thank you for asking! Been busy with life. How are you? Girl, thanks for your concern. 😀

The messages I get in my inbox is all basically just asking for the next chapter. No concerns, no other follow-up questions related to Lookism, whatsoever. Just the direct, "Where's the next chapter?" type of questions. The more I see these, the more it feels dehumanizing to a certain extent, and the excitement I get whenever I return, declines.

I've always wanted to address this whenever I'm bombarded with questions regarding the next chapter. But, to put it into simple terms, I haven’t touched it until recently, because I have a life that keeps me busy and occupied. (Yeah, finally.) Hell, I even deleted Tumblr for a while and haven't touched it ever since because of that. Until last week, when I downloaded the app again since I wanted to come back during my break from school with an optimistic approach. But instead, I just keep getting questions like this and I start to fade back out of it again.

I'm not a slave. I honestly, write whenever I want to and whenever I feel like it because I started my story as a hobby in the first place. So, whenever I get questions asking for the next chapter, all I can tell you is: "You will get it, when it's published." I mentioned this before countless numbers of times that I don't have a definite date. I'm sorry if that may seem harsh, but I'm not going to keep answering the same question over and over again. You should know by now that I don't run on a schedule.

But, to the same person(s) who keep asking the same thing over again about the next chapter, just chill. Rest assured, I started working on it again. Whoever saw the recent chapter I just posted, April’s Fool’s! No chingas, my guy. I got you.

Sometimes, I feel bad for all writers in general who consistently get questions about stories or works that become popular, so they tend to take a break from them because of the pressure. The pressure of having to write and to try and appease the audience can be daunting, to the point that the writer will lose their touch and their passions to even continue a story again. The overwhelming pressure of it all is what gradually affects a writer. That, and how their minds don't always focus on the work at hand and they start to drift away from it because of how busy they become, in their lives.

But on the other hand, I get it. The wait has been pretty long and it's been a year. I'm well aware of that. I don't want to be rude, but in all honesty, I'm tired. I'm tired of constantly having to readdress this again and again, so this will be my final reply regarding the constant questions. And to my mutuals and friends who sent messages about taking my time and going at my own pace regarding my writing, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for understanding. <3

What's funny to me, is that this predicament reminded me of this one video. This is all of you Rendezvous readers whenever I come back to check my messages sometimes:

Watch me pull a CoryxKenshin rn /j. I can do more than a 9 month streak next time.

So, I’m sorry that I left you guys again. And as an apology, new Rendezvous chapter + other stuff will come out soon. 🖤 (I’m not bullshitting this time.)

[rottenbrainstuff]

Calgary fan expo 2024:

(Long post, apologies)

Survived! The last year I was at the artist alley at a fanexpo was I think…. 2019? and I can’t even remember the last year I was at the expo just as a regular attendee, and not as a vendor… must be at least ten years ago by now I think. I had a lot of thoughts yesterday.

But first of all I did want to say, like I said yesterday, Neil Newbon was I think the nicest actor that I’ve ever met at one of these, I really mean that.

The smaller-name actors are always more fun than the bigger names, partly because they tend to not have their heads stuck up their own asses like some of the bigger folks, but also just simply that their lineups are also much much smaller, so you have more time to actually chat with them. (Popular actors can be very much a “hi hello, my name is x, thank you! Bye! situation) All my best memories of getting autographs at cons have been with smaller actors and voice actors and stuff, hands down 100%.

And I’m serious, Neil was the nicest actor I’ve ever met at a con. He is so gracious and polite, humble, and honestly seems to genuinely love interacting with his fans. I had in my head my little lines I wanted to say, so I could make sure I said everything I wanted in the tiny amount of time they allow you to talk to the actor, and then he messed up my little script by wanting to have an actual little chat. We talked about my oldest daughter in Switzerland, and how expensive everything is there, and he said hello to my kids and talked to them a bit, and teased me a little. I said the thing I wanted to, which was to say congratulations for all the accolades and how important BG3 has been to the fans, and he said he appreciates that because the fans are why he does this stuff, truly. Honestly I think he would have chatted even more but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by then and like that was my cue to leave. What a nice guy though? Dang.

His panel was great as well, British actors are always so interesting because they tend to take acting very academically and professionally, he had a great, smart answer for everything, and so polite even when there were some very nervous people having trouble articulating what they wanted to say. (He also said Larian was an amazing company to work for, and prioritizes their people and their fans over profit, which is so refreshing)

What a lovely dude. I was a fan before but I have to say I think now I’m a little in love.

(btw the one other actor I also really remember talking to and having a great chat with was Tony Todd, who was here like, a million years ago, also such a nice freaking guy, giant goddamned hands, we had a big chat about theater and community theater and stuff.)

Besides that, which was amazing, the whole thing was a bit bittersweet. I had a lot of feelings. I’ve been attending these expos almost since they first began, watching them get bigger and bigger and more exciting. A few years ago the expo chain was bought by an American company and.. the vibe has really changed since then. It’s not all negative, not at all: things feel really well organized now in terms of crowd control, which used to be um. Somewhat of a notorious issue for our expo, to put it mildly. But… the whole feeling of the show has also changed. Like one of my coworkers said, it feels kind of like just going to a big market. I miss the old announcer that used to come on, I miss the silly little extra events they had like the geek speed dating, I miss the Viking village that they used to have out in the front, just… the little things that made it feel less corporate and more like this exciting passionate convention for all the geeky things you like.

I went to the artist alley and was curious to see if I could find some of my old con buddies, people who I had got to know over the years I attended as an artist. I was kind of surprised that I couldn’t find a single one. In fact I only recognized a handful of booths as ones I had seen regularly in the past: it seems the majority are new. In addition, the artist alley seems to be about half the size it was when I was attending. I was hoping to see old friends to be able to ask them how things were going with the show recently with the new management, but I guess the fact that none of them were there kind of speaks for itself.

Again it’s a bit sad, but in a weird way it also makes me feel a bit better, somehow. I miss doing these shows, so much, and I feel so frustrated with myself that I don’t have the energy to keep up with it anymore. This really used to be the absolute hilight of my year, once upon a time. Somehow it’s a little comforting to know that I’m not the only one who couldn’t continue to do it.

It was nice to bring my younger kids, anyways. My oldest used to really enjoy attending the expos, and I’m happy I got to share that with them as well.

I’m proud of myself - due to my anxiety I was waffling quite a bit on whether or not I should even bother going, but I feel generally that I’m happy I got over that and ended up going.

[melis-writes]

I love how you’re never rude or obnoxious or mean to your anons as I’ve always come across it in other fandoms and there’s one person that I’m thinking about right now in particular, but I just love how you encourage your fans and fans of Michael, Sonny etc. and encourage their ideas or headcanons and how you respond with your own ideas on whatever is sent

Thank you 🙏🏼

Of course!! ❤️ Honestly, we could use more kindness and love in this fandom. I joined it in 2021 and it was... a hellscape. I think many of the shittier people left it a long time ago or simply got bored and were just rampaging trolls at the time, but it was very toxic here back in those days. 👀

I remember when I was maybe ~10 chapters in Moth to Flame and posting on here that I got an ask from a sweet anon who claimed I was "the best" fic writer when it came to Michael Corleone fics. Their ask also said that I was better at writing than the other Michael Corleone fic writers. I didn't honestly react or say anything to that second half, I was just so overwhelmed (in a GOOD way) about the nature of the ask and the fact someone liked my fic SO much. Anyways, then came the hating ass anons into my inbox and the subposting on the "Michael Corleone x Reader" tag. That ask got under so many people's skin (if the shoe fits, I guess) that I was getting "you're NOT the "BEST" okay... Everyone who writes Michael Corleone x Reader is amazing". All of a sudden this hostility and toxicity began to flood into my inbox. I even got some death threats and straight up harassment. This was pretty consistent for almost an entire year.

A lot of my friends left the fandom and stopped interacting with it completely. Two of them deactivated their Tumblr accounts because of the toxic mess the fandom became. ☹️

Honestly, I never ever claimed to be "the best" or "better" than anyone, but as I stood up for myself more and more and defended my talent, people shit on me even more. I refused, and I still REFUSE to tone down my talent and "humble" myself so some insecure fic writer can feel better about themselves. It was and is not my job to baby other writers. If the projection is so hard that they feel the need to harass me online over how popular my work is getting, y'all have to touch grass and seek professional help. It was ridiculous. I was getting shit on for having talent. 💀

In reality, I'm not this evil, narcissistic fic writer who thinks I'm better than everyone. 😂 I've always encouraged my inspired fans and readers to write their own fics, provided writing help/tips, and dived deep into fun headcanons that they wanted me to sprinkle into my fics. There's already so much bad out there in fandoms, especially the misogynistic side of The Godfather fandom which is still brewing... I refuse to be a part of the negativity but I also refuse to entertain it or accept it.

Now I very much feel so grandfathered into the fandom that I'm like Vito just sitting at his desk and my beloved mutuals and followers approach me for my thoughts and fics 🥺💖

[dykesynthezoid]

hi!! 🥤🔪🍬🍄 for the writer's ask game?

Ah ty!! Sorry this took me a few days lol. Finals are over at last

🥤-> recommend an author or fanfic you love

… is it cheating if I say you, lol? I still want to catch up on the ds9 stuff you’ve been writing. I also am always going ����️ 👁️ at @landslided ’s lesbian lawrusso fic bc the Gender Issues of getting to see Daniel and Johnny as butch adult women who do karate is so Juicy

🔪-> what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

What haven’t I researched tbh. Like it’s concerning how far down some rabbit holes I can get. There is no such thing as “too niche.” I found evidence of men’s ponytails in 12th century Norman illuminated manuscripts. That’s for sure. That happened

🍬 -> post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I’m trying to think of opinions I might have that are actually unpopular… Oh, I think people were shitty about Amanda getting frustrated with Daniel in season 5 (and also, by extension every time she’s gotten frustrated with him). Idk you can yell “she should’ve trusted him!!!” all you want but like. She’s just a human being who’s been deeply overwhelmed by karate bullshit she didn’t ask for for two years now.

And it’s tough bc people are often also stupid about acknowledging that Daniel is Traumatized. And it’s bc of that trauma that the Terry stuff came so far out of left field. It’s bc of that trauma that Daniel almost physically couldn’t figure out how to open up to her about it. But like also… how is Amanda supposed to trust someone who can’t even communicate with her? Of course she feels destabilized.

And yeah, the reason Daniel can’t communicate is again, the trauma. And like, god, have I been there. But just because it’s not his fault he’s struggling to communicate doesn’t mean it’s not going to impact the people around him. Quite the contrary, I’d argue.

But yeah, a lot of people reacted to that with an attitude that was like… Amanda owed Daniel complete and total allegiance, owed him her complete and total support without question, just because ~he’s her husband~ or whatever. Like the fact that he’s having a bad time somehow means she can’t react like a human being; she has to be a wife first, before anything else. Definitely not a novel concept, unfortunately.

🍄 -> share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Idk if this counts as a headcanon but if we don’t get Sam and Tory doing the balance wheel in season 6 I might actually kill one of the showrunners

[hannahssimblr]

After doing that 'top posts of 2023' or w/e post from yesterday I was asking myself what my absolute favorite moment was from Lucky Girl

I can usually tell by looking at the stats what are the most popular chapters (the ones with sex - nobody is surprised that y'all are coming back to re-read those 2/3 times each lmao I see you) and this one is up there.

I was so happy with it when it was completed, because I thought it caught Evie and Jude at their best and most themselves in the whole thing - those moments where she's worried about asking him for what she wants for fear that he'll get too excited and intense, and him trying to hold himself back for fear of overwhelming her. Both knowing each other well enough by now, while doing this silly little dance around each other instead of just admitting what they want. - They're still doing this in the epilogue. They've learned to be indirect with one another in their relationship and they know that they'll always have to do this little dance with one another to make things work.

Anyway, you've guessed it, it's 3.16 - the Arcade chapter <3

“Good game, Evie.” He concedes, after a long, anguished pause. “But I’m not playing against you again.”

“Good. I absolutely hate your play style, and you’re a sore winner.”

“From now on we should only team up”

“I agree, we’d be horrible and unstoppable.”

“Do you still fancy me after witnessing me at my worst and most toxic?”

I grin. “If that’s you at your most toxic then I think I fancy you more, actually.” I push past him towards an old jukebox by the wall. “Which probably says something about me, I don’t know. Maybe I should be psychologically assessed.”

“For liking bad boys?”

I snicker. “You think you’re a bad boy?”

“I think that you think I’m a bad boy.”

“No, I think you’re very sweet and kind and quite soft, actually.” I dig around in my pocket for a spare coin or two. “Sorry.”

He leans against the wall next to me like a quarterback against some cheerleader’s locker in a high school film, and it shouldn’t make me feel girlish and shy, but it does. My whole body tingles even though he’s not even touching against me. “Is that really what you think?”

“Are you flattered or insulted?”

“Well I’m flattered. I think that about you too, coincidentally.” 

“Pick a song.” I tell him. “Let’s see if this thing even works.”

“Give me the old classic, Surfin’ in the UK.”

“What?” I chuckle. “I think you’ve got that wrong.”

“No, look.” He points to the song selection at the front and I run my eyes down the most egregious list of knock off hits I’ve ever seen. There’s Hotel Florida, Puppy Dog, Nine Days a Week, Free Tumblin’, and somewhere near the middle is Surfin’ in the UK. “This is ridiculous.” I say as I hit the button and the speakers crackle to life. “Why don’t they just get the real songs?”

“Cheap,” Jude explains, and bobs his head as though he’s enjoying the strange song that almost, almost sounds like the Beach Boys, only for its weird, tuneless melody that never quite progresses to the expected or most obvious chord. 

“My God, this is awful,” I say, and he’s already doing a silly little shuffle dance across the worn out carpet. “What are you talking about? It’s a certified banger,” He reaches out his hand to me and sings in falsetto “And all the blokes are surfin’, surfin’ in the UK.”

“Don’t make me dance to this.”

“What? Nobody is watching.” He takes my hands in his while I laugh, and he laughs too, because it’s just funny. There’s always something funny about being together, even when I know that everyone else would think we’re being stupid, but when I’m around him I always feel just a little less embarrassed of myself. The same kind of childish, light headed giggliness I get when I breathe helium from a balloon.

The arcade machines and the neon on the walls blink and flash bright colours against his skin and his sleek, glossy dark hair, and everything is noise, light and sensation. Beeps and bings and 8 bit graphics and electronic chip music, all blend discordantly with the tinny music from the jukebox, but when he holds my waist and kisses me slowly everything else fades away. 

My body surrenders to him immediately, but this is what he does to me. This is why I feel afraid of the ways that I feel, because with him, as with nobody else, I feel like I can understand better why people do insane things for sex. How a person can just forget where they are and do it wildly and indiscriminately in cars or public bathrooms or in other kinds of places that used to make me feel confused and disgusted. I always knew, as I know right now, that it wouldn’t take much convincing on his part to get me out of my jeans. 

Lucky Girl, 3.16

[tigerbears]

THANK YOU SM FOR THE TRANS UTDR VIDEO ESP THE SEAM MENTION BC IM SEAMS NUMBER ONE FIGHTER FOR MISGENDERING THEYRE MY FAVE DR CHARACTER I always feel like that one meme of the knight shielding the princess whenever I correct ppl on their pronouns and get to show off the clip of Mr Fox himself saying it lol, also speaking of tysm for pointing out the issue of him not addressing things— bc man I love the guy but sir Please start actually saying stuff bc this fanbase is too illiterate for you to just smile and wave when it comes to the characters identities,,, esp due to it being such a huge topic of discourse, buuuuut I also don’t blame him for the being overwhelmed part, like I said I agree with like every point you made you were so eloquent through out the whole video thank you sm just aaaaugh punches wall and jumps up and down <3

Completely off topic but I wanna rant abt something for a moment (hence why I’m now sending this w anon and not my blog) but the video reminded me of something that happened to my friend in which she made a post on her UTDR related ask blog which was really simple just a “hey don’t misgender Kris/frisk/chara on my blog” and that was basically it. That was the post. BUT. She had vaguely mentioned the glitchtale and Xtale aus in the tags just bc those came to mind first as big fandom things that misgendered the kids, and SPECIFICALLY she wrote she didn’t know as much abt xtale though and that it was just as I said from the top of her head. And wouldn’t you know! The creator of xtale saw the post and took it to fucking HEART. Like made this whole personal long ass rant in a rb over this simple “hey don’t be transphobic on my own personal blog” post. And then, and I’m not joking, EVERY SINGLE comment, tag, RB, you name it, was ALL harassing her or siding w Xtales creator, the only people defending her were her mutuals, and this was a small blog to boot— this wasn’t some big huge blog going after xtale specifically— it was a small blog making a post aimed at the follower circle just offhandedly mentioning it IN THE TAGS. so this explosion just took a massive toll on her and us. Thus any time I see that au or the creator i just get the most sour feeling like Man I Hate They’re Still So Popular Despite That Shit :(((( so the fact a similar situation happened (at least based on what you described in the vid) just made me remember that was all, just like a feeling of “wow we really haven’t changed at all in like two years have we. :/“

sorry I rambled for so long lol I just got reminded of that situation and wanted an excuse to get it off my chest, again as I said I absolutely loved the video and all the points made and I love the inclusion of swatch as someone who was there for the whole they/them to he/him event :3 and again as I said as a huge seam fan ty for including them bc they’re always overlooked in the NB conversation and I just love any mention of them lol,, my favorite elderly wizard kitty plush <33333

Glad people are enjoying the pronouns essay! I worked really hard with it and I'm glad to see it's at least correcting the narrative.

Though with the X-Tale thing, that's something I'll have to look in to and fact check because I prefer not to spread rumors without evidence. (Not saying it didn't happen; just with the whole "Legends of Localization" misinformation fiasco this fandom has a habit of making s--t up, and thus I want evidence, and while I appropriate your support a little annoyed that it has some X-Tale drama attached that I'm probably to tired to factcheck. Sucks if it's true though; Apologies for any snappiness I just woke up to the success of the pronouns essay and I'm about to go look at all the YT comments.)

I don't like drama and there's a reason the pronouns essay avoided throwing any stones directly at those "guilty."

[xoxoloveme]

3DOLXROE CHALLENGE

So as a first post I’m going to start the 3DOL x ROE challenge

I started seeing about this in a subliminal video on youtube and i thought why not.

Manifestations:

//Basically the things i want

1. Get 48/50 in english exam

2. Get 50/50 in maths, physics, sts and computer science.

3. Lose love handles fully

4. Clear glass skin

5. Better self control

6. Study machine //can study for 12 hours straight

7. Have excellent concentration

8. Function on 3 hours of sleep

9. Get popular at school

10. Get a job that pays at least 3000 rs per month

11. Having a small waist

12. Longer hair butt length 

13.Get the boy I like,but is emotionally unavailable, to like me back.

14.Learn Java properly

15.Get 50 followers on tumblr.

Routine:

~wake up in the morning and spend 15 minutes meditating on this.

~drink 2 litres of water during the 3 days

~detach from reality. //my life is great and i will always achieve what i want

~journal if my feelings get overwhelming

~subliminals //i’ll make one playlist soon

Affirmations:

🔗I am the master of my own destiny. I can change anything and everything about myself.

🔗I have intense knowledge and concentration that i can use anytime i want to

🔗My life is in my hands now

🔗Regardless of everything i always have my desires

[jordanianprincesses]

My post is actually going to get some heat but I really have to say it

I know rajwa gets a lot of hate online and people are sympathetic towards her BUT BOOHOO CRY ME A RIVER she’s an iffing future queen and frankly I think she doesn’t give a damn (I’m not excusing bullying I’m just saying she clearly doesn’t care) here’s why I think some of the criticism she’s getting is actually somewhat justified…

Rajwa was really popular once the engagement was announced ALOT of people praised her and liked her but unfortunately here’s a list of what the JRF did to completely ruin rajwa’s reputation

1) they acted as if she was this very conservative Saudi woman from a big and important family (they literally mentioned all her family tree during the announcement) when in fact she wasn’t!

2) they literally didn’t even try to remove pictures from online and save rajwa from the public scrutiny she’s going to get once the pictures are released

3) rania spent so much time praising her and pushing her which gave people the illusion that she will be a working royal SINCE WE SAW HER EVERYWHERE BEFORE THE WEEDDING

4) they set high expectations for her without making sure that she was actually fit for these expectations (I feel like they just ignored that she might be lazy and simply didn’t want to work)

5) they spent way too much time coddling and protecting her instead of working on improving her and her work ethic. I think they did that because they were terrified she would leave otherwise!

It seems like the JRF were actually setting her up from the start l. Now now for the part that I will get hate for…I don’t think rajwa is completely innocent and she helped in tarnishing her image as well

1) she did not contact certain people to delete some of her past photos which is insane because she knows how popular Hussein was in the past and she should’ve at least used her brain a bit.

2) she enjoyed the limelight before the engagement a bit too much without thinking this will make the expectations for her higher.

3) she thought that being queen in Jordan is an easy task where you only have to play dress up and look pretty, which leads me to believe she didn’t even bother to simply google how messed things inJordan are.

4) she doesn’t even TRY to push against the royal family! She does what they want without even asking or thinking whether it was good for her or not. She doesn’t use her brain at all.

5) THE FAMOUS BIKINI SCANDAL: now now before you eat me alive I do think she was a victim and we should blame the person that invaded their privacy BUT it’s so stupid on her part to think that she can just slip under the radar and wear whatever she wants after the HUGE wedding they had! She was 100% aware of how popular she had become and still she didn’t USE HER BRAIN and think for a moment that there’s always people watching especially in public. I genuinely would’ve excused her if they were in the privacy of their own home.

6) now finally the most inexcusable of all: I think she genuinely doesn’t want to work. Now people like to come up with “theories” that maybe rania doesn’t want her to work (which is almost impossible considering how much time and effort rania put into hyping up rajwa and making her popular) or that Hussein is the one setting her up with is also not true because he is trying to push her as well… so we are left with the only option that Rajwa genuinely doesn’t want to be a working royal and just wants royal treatment with no royal responsibilities… because if she wanted to work, she would have. It’s not that hard to ask your team to give you a task to do.

7) wearing boycotted brands in the middle of genocide

Conclusion: I think both parts are at fault here they set her up and then she proceeded to set herself up as well. I wholeheartedly believe rajwa did marry for the title mainly and was so protected and coddled that she thought that’s all she’s getting A TITLE. I think she was shocked and overwhelmed with the work that comes with it. So she decided not to work at all. As if for the bullying? I honestly don’t think she cares she’s living her absolute best life and she’s set for life with the JRF stolen money and endless connections. ����🏼‍♀️

It’s crazy coming up with these conclusions now… I was rooting for her & Hussein so hard just about a year ago ! 💔

I agree with you in most of what you said but not all of them . Anyway, welcoome

[22degreehalo]

And so one unintended side-effect of my very... multifandomness (and also tiredness??) this year has been that I'm reading way more fanfic than I usually would be! And I have decided to embrace that haha <3 so I've joined up with the Summer Fic Reading Challenge over at @ficreadingchallenge !

Above you can see my card; as you can see, I've already started ticking things off! I'll list the reviews I've already made now, and then elaborate a bit more on what I plan to do beneath the cut! :)

Soulmates Keep Your Head Up, My Child by Addmon (2.9k, Zuko/Aang) I really love when Soulmate fics add a wrinkle to the canon plot, and this does that perfectly! It makes perfect sense that Zuko and Aang wouldn’t immediately know that they’re each other’s soulmates given that in this universe, the word is written in the speaker’s script, but it’s clear enough that Aang’s is from the Fire Nation and Zuko’s is… something very unique, haha. And it’s structured really well, a nice collection of scenes that are just long enough to get their point across.

New (To You) Fandom work it out with your fingers by Saintsideways (3k, Jim/Bart) This fic is just actually, unfairly good. Blazing Saddles has such a uniquely distinctive sense of style, but this fic captures it perfectly, from the breezy homoeroticism to the nonchalant fourth-wall breaks. A perfect epilogue for the movie!

Under the Influence Just One Taste by Random_Nexus (3.8, Jeeves/Wooster) This is just such a sweet fic. <3 It feels very in-character for them (it’d certainly take a lot to get Jeeves to admit how he feels!), and the pining is very delicious <3

De-Aging/Kidfic Never Been Kissed by Randodoggo (4.7k, Phoenix/Edgeworth) This is so adorable – perfect kidfic!! I love love live how adorably earnest and dorky and slightly annoying kid Edgeworth is, so desperate to be a Good Defence Attorney and uphold the law like his daddy~ And the specific shippiness is so perfect for their ages, haha – and I can only imagine how those two’ll feel looking back on these memories. :’D (But also… off owie the dramatic irony of how happy Miles and Gregory are hurts :’((( )

Only One Bed [podfic of] Touch Therapy by Nomad by OReily42 (58 minutes/10.4k, House/Wilson) I’m honestly shocked I never read this one back in the day when I had my House phase: I sure read enough House/Wilson fics, and this one’s sure popular enough! And for good reason – despite being tagged a ficlet collection, the vignette nature of it really works well to capture these everyday moments between them, making the slow progression of their relationship feel really natural! And the podfic reading was perfect: I sometimes feel self-conscious with these things haha but I honestly got so immersed I didn’t even think about it!

So... as you can see, I am not sticking to one fandom here at all. :'D I'm not even committing to using a different fandom/ship for each square like I usually would with things like this. I really do just want this to be about like... giving me just a little more structure for looking for fics.

This is probably a bit weird, haha, but I've never really been able to relate to those 'I don't want AO3 to have an algorithm, I want it to give me Exactly what I have searched for' posts. To be honest, the sheer amount of possibilities on AO3 has always been a bit overwhelming when it comes to actually looking for fic! (Unless I'm just trying out a new ship and want to survey the field.) Maybe it's because I grew up relying on rec lists and the like? But rec listing just isn't really done nearly as much in current fandom, and that's a whole other post topic haha...

BUT. Though I might know that I like, say, Secret Relationship fic? It usually wouldn't occur to me to search for it like that! But then if I just search by ship, there's so much... And what ship should I even search by?! I am a very indecisive person hahahaha... And I've gotten too much in a habit of like Collecting fics by going through tags and saving them and then never reading them because hhhhh what if there's Another fic I would enjoy more...???

SO. Now, I can pick a trope and think about what ships would fit it and look that right up!!! tl;dr: gameification works. :) And it already has worked on me!!

Also probably-obvious clarification: I'm only reccing for this challenge fics that I actually enjoyed enough to rec. I've also gotten into a habit lately of feeling Guilty when I drop a fic because who am I to judge?? And what about the poor author??? But. I do not have a moral obligation to consume art I'm not into!!!!! And isn't that the whole point of art? Connection? So what if a fic doesn't work for me! I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will love it!!!! So this is another Reminder Catch: would I be happy to rec this for the challenge? And if not, ehh, maybe I should just cut my losses and try something else.

Onto the prompts!!!

Since it's just a casual challenge, the list of prompts was pretty small; I definitely think it could grow if it's repeated, which ofc I would like it to! :) I did try not to blacklist too many prompts for that reason, so there are a few on there that I wouldn't normally seek out.

In particular, having Time Travel and Time Loop (and right next to each other, if I cared to do bingos!!), and also Space AU and Future AU...... yeah, I think I'll have to interpret Future AU as more of like a post-canon AU sort of thing, hahaha. Would a Modern Day AU of a historical setting count as a Future AU? Though I sorta dislike those on principle... but sometimes they're unavoidable...... hrmhrmhrm.

ANYWAY I started with the prompts that immediately made me curious: gave me fandoms/ships that burst out at me, thinking they'd work well. (Apart from Only One Bed which I technically read before the challenge but shhhhh it's a great fic so I wanted it to still count!!) I've also been combing through the tags of some of the other squares, mainly for the difficult ones like Take Your Fandom To Work AU.

But some of them are going to be simple. I already have two half-read fics which slot neatly into Angst and Hurt/Comfort, though... obviously those are very broad, hahahaha. For BIPOC character I'll probably look up some more Nandor/Guillermo (tho there are plenty of other options), and Author's Oldest Fic would've been intimidating if I hadn't recently been looking up some LJ-era ships like House/Wilson and the 2009 Sherlock Holmes verse, some of which have been retroactively uploaded to AO3 and usually are in fact earliest on their author's lists.

Whump will be interesting since I've had an interest in the trope recently but have read very little of it yet. Meanwhile Rarepair could cover many of my ships... and those ships will also probably offer up a few No Comments fics, too. :') Canon Compliant is interesting since I mostly tend to read fics like that anyway? So I'll try to find something especially fitting for it, like a Missing Scene maybe, or just something that flows directly from the finale (Roy/Jamie/Keeley would be perfect). Gift Giving is surprisingly turning out to be a difficult one just because it's not really a commonly-used AO3 tag and I don't tend to go for pure fluff... But we'll see!!

ANYWAY I'm super excited to get going, and even just coming up with what ships might work well with each of these tags has already been really fun :'D

[alltimefail-sims]

Do you have any tips for getting into/making sims stories? (Idk what to call them lol, but like your strangersville story), and tips for taking posed screenshots because I’m struggling-

Hello, friend! 🤗

I am so genuinely flattered that you would ask me for advice. I'll admit, I've only been officially on simblr for a little over a year and I'm just getting a groove in posting, so I'm still learning about the storytelling format and posing aspect, too. Here are some really great posts that helped me:

@seaslugsims: Storytelling Resources Part 1

and Storytelling Resources Part 2

Storytelling Tips and Tricks thread started by @citylighten (Check the reblogs on this one - so many amazing, experienced creators have weighed in on their personal tips and tricks)

I hate posing sims, but I've found that it just takes practice and patience. @ts4-poses is a great resource blog for finding poses because it is organized into categories, making finding a specific pose less overwhelming. Put all the sims you need for a story post in the same household so you have full control of them all. Ravasheen's ISO Camera for in-game photos is what dreams are made of because the photos always come out perfect and no one has to be behind the camera to take the picture. When taking photos using the tab key, take them from multiple angles so you have a lot of options when editing your posts.

I also would say don't be afraid to just keep asking for advice! If you see a post you like, don't be afraid to ask someone how they did it! I've learned so much just by going to creators like "Hey, this post you made was so great... what editing do you use? Do you use a reshade/gshade shader? Do you resize photos?" You can learn a lot from others, and over time with practice (and a lot of trial and error) you will gain your footing and develop a style of your own!

Now, onto where I have personal experience: getting into stories and making stories! For me personally, a good story is all about characters and world building. Because simblr stories give you an opportunity to show varying perspectives and focus on more than one character's viewpoint (kind of like a comic or TV show), you can best take advantage of that by writing in-depth characters you love (or love to hate, lol). Knowing the setting and how the characters fit into that setting is really the backbone of any good story, and if you care about the details and you care about those characters, your audience will feel that! Also knowing what you like to write helps, too! I like sci-fi, fantasy, and coming of age; I like mysteries and love stories are my lifeblood (I'm a hopeless romantic); and I am a sucker for a good found family trope... so that's what I write! You'll never catch me writing horror stories full of loss, or adult romance stories, nor am I gonna pop out a teen drama (yk like Degrassi-esque or Disney Channel) or something cutting-edge/dark/with a strong visual aesthetic (like Euphoria) because I know that's not my thing (and editing is not my strength - I would HATE spending hours editing posts where some others might love that part of the process. I don't write or create something because I think it will be popular or on-trend or garner viewership (even though wanting validation is not a bad thing imo) I just create to create. I create using my strengths first, and I would recommend you write to your strengths and don't feel like you have to rush the process.

My biggest piece of advice is that if you have a story to tell, tell it! Trust me, someone (or a lot of someones) will love it. You may only get a few views at first, or it may take off right from the jump, but regardless your story is worth telling. Start by just opening a google doc and jotting down ideas as they come to you until one sticks. Don't be afraid to shelf what doesn't work or what you're not feeling any more. My Strangerville story was not my first venture on simblr, but it is the only one I have loved enough to keep up with.

Lastly, please let me know when you do put your story out there. You've already got one fan!!! 📣💕

[thecharacterchronicler]

I don’t know if it’s ok if I request a thing I don’t want you to feel pressured or any thing.

Please do! I’m always okay with getting requests! I can’t promise I’ll follow them in details and do them right away but if I’m inspired I sure will try!

If you’re not sure because I said I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed by requests, I only said this because 10 years ago or so I had a tumblr where I wrote and posted Teen Wolf smut… It became quite popular and I received tons (like really A LOT) of requests to “fix” what people didn’t like in a specific episode or add smut, and I tried to keep up but eventually I ended up completely burnt out. I stopped writing, stopped watching the show and stopped posting.

So I don’t want to repeat the same thing this time but it was more of a reminder to myself to take it easy and not try to make everyone happy at once. Now I know how I work well enough to not let myself feel this way again so please, feel free to request anything you want and I’ll see what I can do. 🖤