#i always want insight into how our character’s handle grief i just feel like this was a weird way to do it

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 8 thoughts

i’m conflicted. i didn’t like this episode, and i don’t know if my reasoning is valid or not. but i guess at the end of the day it’s all subjective, right? it’s MY BLOG and i decide which episodes are good vs bad in the juni-verse.

(do not be offended if this is your favorite episode and i am slandering it. it’s not personal, pinky promise, but i explain my reasoning at the end, so let’s jump in)

((also i hear geese right now. not relevant but highkey distracting))

oooo today’s episode title looks french… i thought at first that it would mean (feminine) someone who forgets something, but it actually means “a type of dungeon with a single escape route”. the more you know!

i’m excited to watch this episode. it sounds interesting. it also sounds like it could be really really dark. so let’s see! (verdict: DARK!)

we open on high school picture day. a girl named amy is getting her pictures taken. these girls are in very cute outfits. a guy from the photography company is staring at amy though… OH! and stroking her picture in a darkroom. HELLO??? jail jail jail. 

(we later learn his name is carl. he will be referred to as “the creepy man” and “carl” alternatively throughout this post)

he cut out her picture and put it next to a picture of himself??? is he making a collage? GROWN MAN! GROWN MAN DOING ALL THIS BTW!!! in what looks like a trapdoor darkroom beneath his house. is this the aforementioned oubliette….?

amy is sleeping and. SOMEONE IS COMING IN HER WINDOW. NO MA’AM. it’s carl, who says that “nobody is going to spoil us”. a little girl sees this happen!!!! noooo… but maybe she can give a clue?? i mean a witness to a kidnapping seems like it’ll help solve the case, right?

now we are at a burger place, someone is taking a while to fill up some drinks- her name tag says “lucy”. and then there is BLOOD all over her from her nose. the boss looks majorly freaked. and she FAINTS! mumbling that nobody is going to spoil us. OH… so lucy and the girl must have some sort of connection. boy, that seems it'd be disruptive to the work day…

bum bum bum bum!!!! spooky noises. spooky imagery. you know it, you love it: the intro.

mulder and a very large coat are here to investigate the kidnapping. he is looking about at various rooms and walls. 

noooo, he is in a child’s bedroom :( and he finds a very sad mrs. jacobs looking out the window. he says they will do everything they can to help but she is like “how could you really know how i feel?"

well actually he is quite well versed in kidnappings!!! so please be mindful of your words. she walks away and he looks very sad. way to dig some stuff up for the guy. she didn’t mean it, i know, but still, it was a very purposeful dialogue choice.

(mulder is staring intently at dark red spots on the carpet) “it’s blood”, says a guy we have never seen before. excellent work detective. could have had me fooled. i was thinking it was jam /s

this guy thinks it was someone that knew her, mulder does not think this is the case because it was so bold. fight fight fight!

oh, he actually came on this case to talk to lucy from the burger place!!! and not for the kidnapping. we should have known that was far too conventional for our friend.

(door opens) (deep sigh) (scully’s voice from off screen) "mulder…" <- yeah this had me giggling. not even really sure why. they are reunited after a flight apart. it must have been harrowing. 

so, he explains: the girl, amy, is 15 years old, and was kidnapped. and twenty miles across town, lucy was repeating the same words the kidnapper said as she passed out! “well that’s spooky”, scully notes, and mulder replies “that’s my name, isn’t it?” <- LMAO

OH GET THIS: Lucy was kidnapped when she was 8 for FIVE YEARS!!!! until she was found by the side of the road. HUH??? THE PLOT IS THICKENING. same guy…? scully seems very deep in thought

first thing lucy says upon their entrance: “i’d like a cigarette” in the hospital. queen i think there are laws against this but idk 💔 

they explain that amy said those same words about spoiling it for us at the same time she did, and lucy has a thoughtful look on her face then says no, i know nothing about it. NOT BUYING IT!

paused on scully’s face to take notes and she really is just so beautiful huh. 

lucy asks when she can leave and they say um probs when the doctor says you can. and she’s like, no they said it was up to you. so they’re like uh yeah you can go. this is very exciting and she doesn’t even change before she leaves. 

CREEPY MAN ALERT. he’s on the side of the road with a busted tire and a tow guy offers to change it for him for $10. a screaming deal! until this fellow picks up a crowbar looking thing and screams LEAVE ME ALONE and chases him away!!! deeply suspicious behaviors. tow guy calls him a freak as he drives away. a very rare deserved case of calling someone a freak as you drive by them.

back at the station, the lead agent or whatever his title is tells mulder that lucy and her boyfriend have a criminal record, but mulder doesn’t think she’s involved. i’d have to agree, but maybe i’m easily fooled. 

“mulder, i got something- something weird” scully strides in the room and announces. and i’m thinking, YEAHHHH BABY, WE LOVE THAT AROUND THESE PARTS!!!

so, here is the weird stuff: lucy had two types of blood on her shirt that night… so scully is gonna test and see if there was a match to amy’s. but mulder doesn’t want lucy treated as a suspect, so he says to try and keep that quiet.

now we’re at a halfway house. a guy is going up some stairs whilst lucy shivers in bed. she has scratches all over her face and complains about being unable to see. and it looks like she has the same scratches as the girl in the creepy guy carl’s hole!!!

mulder rolling up to the halfway house. he asks to take lucy to dinner, as the paramedics say she is probably better now after her episode. 

she is going to town on some soup and insisting that she is clean, and you can even ask henry about this. she is very insistent that she CANNOT help amy, but he is trying to gently be like. well... maybe you CAN. and she says: NO.

back in the hole, amy is having pictures taken of her. and screaming

at the station. mulder is watching a video of lucy from 1978 where she is crying on the ground and also screaming. her eyes were hypersensitive to the light when she finally escaped from her kidnapping all those years ago. it’s honestly very upsetting to watch.

oh!! scully has a break in the case: all the school photos were sent out EXCEPT amy’s. and the assistant was fired THAT DAY AFTER THE SHOOT. his name is CARL. and he spent the last 15 years institutionalized “for a bipolar condition”. well would that make him not a suspect for whoever took lucy…? i can’t do math. but if she got back in ‘78 then it would be possible, right? because idk when s3 takes place. anyway, mulder’s gonna show the photo to lucy and see if she knows him.

(i groan when a story makes a villain bipolar or have any other mental health issue to enhance their ~scariness~. it’s cliche, it’s perpetuating harmful stereotypes, and it’s bad writing. i was mentally throwing tomatoes at the screen)

carl is leaving and he left amy in the basement. is this her chance to break free? or is it a trick. she finds a hole in the wall sealed with some wood and starts to rip it up 

back to lucy cam. mulder is trying to get her to stop running away and he grabs her shoulder and she says “DON’T TOUCH ME. i don’t like to be touched” this is understandable and he apologizes.

anyway, he shows her carl’s photo, and she starts to run away again, indicating that she does, in fact, know who it is.

back to amy cam. she’s trying to break free, but he is coming back in his car! he hears her trying to get out and sees her running out the window. she is running!!! into the woods!!! run run run run!!!

lucy is also running. 

but no!!! they both fall!!! mulder picks lucy up. nooooo, amy failed her escape attempt :(

but upon seeing the photo, lucy confirms that it IS the same guy that took her way back when. she says she feels like she’s going through it all over again. 

however, scully and the cops are at the door! lucy is suspicious. reveal: THE BLOOD ON THE UNIFORM WAS AMY’S!!! mulder is saying she didn’t do it, but scully says it’s concrete evidence. unless you believe in the migration of blood. 

carl is explaining to amy that she shouldn’t have run. she asks for some water. is she gonna make another break for it? no. she does not. but she does ask for her mom and also for her to please not die here. it’s very sad.

mulder throws out a theory: maybe lucy bled out amy’s blood. it’s a stretch. “i hate to say this mulder, but i think you just ran out of credibility” <- girl i think that was a while ago.

i jest, but it appears scully does not. yowch. okay, yeah, bleeding someone else’s blood is a little rough in terms of an idea, but some thoughts we try and keep inside our heads in terms of our pals having wild theories.

OHHHH... scully insinuating that he is seeing his sister in lucy, and that is why he cannot see her as the perpetrator when all the evidence points to it…. oh i felt chills... or some sort of adjacent negative experience. bad feelings washed upon me.

he says that not every single thing he does or says is traced back to his sister but… i’m actually not gonna agree with him on that one. anyway, he’s mad at her. and i would be too tbh!

someone is coming in to the station who saw carl. it’s the tow guy!! and he was spotted heading near the place lucy was found years ago!!! 

carl witnesses the cops racing off to his place. but the agents go to the photo store to see if he has an account. not a bad idea on behalf of mulder.

although, we don’t even know if they go in because next they are ambushing carl’s property. and they see the trap door!!! is she in there??? and she is!!!

WAIT NO. IT’S LUCY?? everyone is confused. 

okay, so they DID go to the photo store, because they have the photos of amy that were taken in the basement… i see now. i am listening and learning.

the cop guy wants to take lucy into custody because she can’t say why she is at the crime scene, but mulder is like “no i’ll take her” and scully tells the cop dude it’s alright. so now she must see what he was saying. he’s walking lucy out. and she’s saying that carl hasn’t touched amy, and then she starts shivering and coughing, saying she is cold and wet. and mulder’s touching her….

he says lucy is trying to tell them amy’s in a river, so they try to go there. and then when carl dunks amy underwater, lucy starts spitting up water!!! and then drowning in the car on land. 

agents are running in the woods.

they find carl, and mulder shoots him. then he runs off holding amy. so he starts doing mouth to mouth and she’s doing chest compressions and lucy is coming back to life?? maybe?? no.

scully is trying to tell him to stop because she’s dead, but he won’t, and they actually come to blows about it. he’s sitting there all soggy and wet and crying. but then she finally starts coughing!!! 

mulder learns that lucy was also dying, and he gets all freaked out and runs back to her. and lucy is, in fact, dead. he’s touching her face as water pours out of her and she’s crying. mulder is full on kneeling at her dead body and sobbing. and damn, if this moment didn't get me right in the chest.

scully shows up to the halfway house, where mulder is sitting on lucy’s bed with a bunch of pictures of her. scully says amy had NO INJURIES and she can’t explain it, but nobody wants to talk about it because everyone is relieved to have her back. and it turns out lucy drowned. despite being on land.

“mulder, whatever there was between them, you were part of that connection, did you think about that?” <- AUGH (girl who is in pain as scully tries to put into words how important he is to not just her, but the whole world)

but he says that dying was pretty much all amy could do to escape from her past. and i'm thinking, well, if this whole episode has been a way to comment on your past... what exactly are you saying? because i'm hearing things i don't like. what about the power of healing and friendship? have we tried this?

i’m not sure how i feel about this episode, so i want to hear your thoughts even more than usual. actually, i am pretty sure that i didn't like it. i love a good character-centric episode, and this was definitely a mulder episode, but i felt that scully was really sidelined. like REALLY sidelined. to the extent she felt almost mean, with the losing credibility comment and trying to get him to stop doing CPR and bringing his sister up into it. on the other hand, though, she did seem to accurately describe the situation as himself projecting his past onto these people. it was pretty clear that was the case no matter how much denial he had going on.

luckily, in long form content like this, when something is written that feels out of character, i have an ease of just ignoring it i feel is usually denied in tighter season or movies. like yeah, everyone has an episode or two where their favorite character acts weird as hell. i could already point to a couple episodes on mulder’s behalf- cough cough genderbender cough cough 3- so maybe this will even out the tally of agents doing stuff that feels wrong. and like those episodes, i can ignore them. i am the rememberer and when i need to i am also the forgetter.

(now, you may present an argument to me that these actions WERE in character for scully. and i will not deny you the chance to present that argument my way. i shall hear out cases with a fair and impartial nature. but my opinions have been voiced)

characterization aside. this was another dark episode with almost no lightheartedness. there were a few things i giggled early on, like the way she just announced his name when they’re reunited, but other than that… childhood kidnapping? a real bummer. also, their psychic connection wasn’t even explained. it didn’t seem to follow any sort of logic at all. she would just… snap into it sometimes and then out of it. but you couldn’t really tell why she’d snap into it beyond it seemed moments where amy was in danger. but like. when you’re kidnapped you’re basically in danger 24/7. so: ??? 

and the transmutation of physical injury. they said that amy had no injuries, but we could see she had the same face cuts and scrapes as lucy. so are they ignoring that or are we thinking that lucy dying absorbed all that damage…?

mulder also ends the episode saying that he thinks death was the only way lucy could escape her suffering, which has troubling implications for his own character and those who love him.

hmm. idk, i just don’t think i liked this one. i’m learning that i find children being hurt less campy and fun than aliens and bigfoot. a good scary episode can be that, both good and scary, but i didn’t feel scared because it still was fantastic in nature. when there was a real scary episode- i’m thinking of irresistible in s2- the reason that felt so scary was because it WAS an entirely human, no supernatural elements at all, spooky episode. and that was the whole point; that episode was used to explore scully’s greatest fears, her struggle with being unable to control every aspect of life, trying to grasp who she can and cannot trust, and the depths to which the human soul can descend. so we had something similar going on here, except that lucy was taking amy’s damage, and you can see how that sort of transmigration makes for a harder sell on the commentary of the evil things humans can accomplish, no?

hmm. again, please let me know. i actually might look this one up, because ever since i learned that there are wikipedia episodes for every single episode, i have mostly neglected that fact to avoid audience ratings sullying my own hot takes on the subject. but this one has me curious. 

[ramblingguy54]

     There’s a lot to be said, regarding how Thanks To Them handled what it managed to do in under almost an hour quite well, but what I specifically want to focus on is the colossal amount of emotional weight it gave in-depth for Luz & Camila’s relationship because holy shit it was great, overall. In the past, I’ve seen posts here and there attempt to slam Camila as a parent calling her irresponsible or outright manipulative in the way she wanted to balance Luz’s creativity or that knee jerk reaction at Yesterday’s Lie concluding on a somber conversation between these two. Some were quick to peg Camila as being dismissing of her daughter choosing to stay on the Boiling Isles, when in reality she was merely concerned for Luz’s safety and not to mention questioning her abilities to be a competent parent in all of this, as well.

    Thanks To Them fully puts into perspective just how rough Camila has had it as a single parent. It wasn’t just losing her husband that was painful, but also the consistent berating Luz would get from onlookers passive aggressively judging her antics, which were heavily implied to have been inspired by Manny. He seems to have been apparently a very silly father figure that wanted to inspire his daughter about vibrant imagination, hence that Azura book being the last thing he gave her before passed away, due to unfortunate health issues of some kind. Honestly, I know I sound like a broken record here, but I can’t further reinforce my point enough on these impressive ways the Owl House crew managed to salvage all this insightful characterization around the Noceda family tree. It masterfully makes any moment from Luz’s creativity throughout this series run have such deeper meaning. She was trying to keep her father’s faith alive and that can be said for a lot what Luz has done through compassion.

     Went from simply loving Camila’s character to absolutely seeing myself in the way she struggles to stand up for Luz’s nature as a human being. Manny may be gone, but she doesn’t let that grief stop her from allowing Luz to live life the way her kid wants. The notion of parenthood comes in and out of my head often about how I would fair in the department of being a father. Would I make the right choices for my child? Could I prevent the same unfortunate stuff I went through not repeat for their new life? Camila was dealt an unfair hand by life and desires to give Luz a place she can call home. It’s why she sent Luz off in the first place to that camp at this story’s beginning. She never wanted Luz to do a 180 in personality, or stop having an imagination that makes her a vibrant child. Camilia’s main goal in all of this was to prevent Luz’s bullying at school from potentially increasing, the more she took her antics further.

     This in of itself portrays the issues of our education system with how it views other peoples’ learning capabilities. Attempting to put a label it all as grief for Luz’s acting out in their assignments, given Manny’s passing, is only a half truth severely exaggerated. Sure, losing her Dad had a huge profound change in Luz, but even when Manny was alive she has always done things differently. If anything, Manny’s sudden passing made Luz double down on the way she views things in general determined to stand up proudly for it, regardless of what anyone said. Luz was paying her respects to Manny, by living her life without regret. In this regard, it makes sense why Luz goes to such great lengths in trying to fix any mistake she feels accountability for whether it’s unintentionally helping Belos’ plans through time travel, regret for not coming home to Camila sooner, or Amity, Gus, and Willow being stranded from their respective reality.

    Luz’s compassionate nature is her strongest endearing trait and weakness all at once because while she is caring to others, it comes at the expense of her self-esteem. She blows any mistake big or small out of massive proportions. Part of me can’t help but think Manny’s passing plays a role in this, too. Luz is devoted to the memory her father so much that she weighs these mistakes on the grounds of, “What would my father think, if he knew about my own actions?”, and it is leading her down self-destructive tendencies. This was likely going through her mind, besides Camila’s advice about learning from mistakes.

     Luz wasn’t using fiction as a way to escape her father’s passing. It was all about keeping the memory of his own unique personality alive. To show others applying your different touch to learning about anything can pay off. It makes Luz Noceda such a compelling and endearing protagonist, in spite of how rough she has had everything in childhood to the Boiling Isles conflict currently. Luz wishes to do right by Camila & Manny’s beliefs that it consumes her with overwhelming grief. You could feel so much of it in her reluctant resolve to stay behind forever. At this point, Luz has felt like everything she has wanted ended in failure. Wanted do well in school with grades at the top of her class.

Didn’t want Camila to worry about her well being all the time.

Wanted so desperately to become of apart of the Boiling Isles and share this world with her mother acknowledging it.

Wants to live a life with no regrets, like her father wanted.

     All of this resolve has come crashing down on Luz’s determination. She can’t live a life without regret because Luz is consumed by so much of it. The only way Luz believed she could atone is by robbing herself of any true happiness. This way the karmic value of what she had blamed herself for would even out. It’s absolutely heartbreaking seeing such an optimistic kid become utterly broken by these circumstances. Luz may hate Belos, but she in turn despises herself because of being fooled by his scummy tactics to achieve his goal. Throwing everything into chaotic terror when the Collector was freed finally by King.

     Luz & Camila’s development was easily one of my favorite parts from the whole special. Thanks To Them is an all around great start to this three part series finale in general, but their emotional development was a serious stand out. This was the kind of stuff I wanted to see more of in DuckTales 2017 between Della & Louie with their chemistry and am so happy to see the concept thoroughly explored here. Loved what was shown off and can’t wait to see the last two specials in 2023. Welcome back Owl House. It’s good to see you again.

[ofmermaidstories]

grief anon here 🙋‍♀️here to say thank u again for ur advice and i teared up reading ur response bc this doomed character loves our mc (u were right: it is a reader x character fic!) in a similar fashion you described, and i adore the infinite, quiet ways people love each other. i wanted ur insight bc i really admired how u made haru in ur bkg fic feel so real; like i physically hurt when he was in danger and i really hope to emulate those feelings in my own fic. 1/3

2/3 ive been trying to sus out how much bg i will give (i agree—more = better!) part of the struggle is that the mc is kind of stiff in that they arent sure how to accept love/they reject it (because of trauma that will be explored), and it’ll take a lot of learning/unlearning for them to realize the weight of this death. doomed chara is like a quiet but persistent source of joy in mc’s life so when that’s ripped away from mc…😶its a much heavier/emotional fic than what i usually write

3/3 i have my own reservations about this mc but its their growth im truly interested in, and if their only friend has to die to achieve that then…. 🤷‍♀️ 3/3 i want to break this mc and build them back up again in the most hurtful tender way possible <3 hopefully i will be able to reach my own expectations sdklfsd thank u so much merms sorry for the inbox spam, ive no idea how ppl send asks over the character limit (the app maybe??) i love u !! <3

Grief Anon!!! Hello again!!! Okay lemme put on my (metaphorical) glasses and have a read and see what I can do for you. 📖

I know I said this the first time you asked but I truly do think the more screen-time you can devote to Doomed BG Character, the better. Even if it’s just small things. Even if your Reader isn’t in a position to truly recognise what Doomie has done/does for them, until it’s too late — your audience will see it and recognise it!! Just because someone doesn’t know how to handle/take the love they’ve been given doesn’t like… negate the giving of it!! it’s still there!!! even if your Reader is shrugging it off, awkward with it — your audience won’t/won’t be! They’ll see it for what it is, and with a character that’s destined for the chopping block like Doomie showing that (ie, giving the background) can only enhance the emotions you wanna provoke!!!!!

But also, lmao, your poor Reader. 😩 This is devastating. What’s the reservations you’re having about them? I know with like, crafting a fictional story it’s different (readers - generally - like drama, so piling it on is fun!!!) but my knee-jerk reaction to you saying “imma kill Reader’s friend off for growth” was like “nOOOOO”. LOL. Hilarious since i have absolutely zero qualms about murdering characters left right and centre :’) but it It made me think of those tweets that are always like, “my trauma didn’t make me stronger, it set me back”. We survive the bad times simply because often we have no other choice — but kindness (and sunshine) nurtures us in a way grief doesn’t. 🥺 Someone’s… someone’s gonna cradle them gently throughout this… right Anon? 🥺 Right? 🥺🥺

this has literally nothing to do with your ask beyond the little tangent i went on, but once i thought of it i had to doodle it so like…. it’s getting attached to this ask im sorry sdlkjflksdjfkdlsj

I don’t have any doubt that you’ll be able to craft this story in a way that meets those expectations of yours, Anon!!! if you’re excited to write it then there’s always going to be someone who’ll be excited to read it. 🥺 people LOVE hurt/comfort — and based on the snippets you’ve shared about this fic, I think it’ll hurt amazingly good!!! really give people some safe catharsis. 🥺 which sometimes we just need. 💌

[snkpolls]

SnK 131 Chapter Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with  2,192 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by @momtaku​, /u/staraves, Crunchwrap, u/_Puppet_, Luna.  Thanks as always for your support.

  RATE THE CHAPTER 2,118 responses

This was a standout chapter for the fandom, garnering a positive rating from over 90% of respondents and an average score of 4.68 which makes it the highest rated chapter since 122 - and in the top 5 in the history of the poll! Many of you were eager to express your enjoyment of it, with this question getting the most responses it has since chapter 102 (over two years ago!). As we go deeper into the endgame, it’s good to know enthusiasm is going strong.

Yams is a damn genius. This is one chapter I have not been able to stop thinking about or rereading. It's just... its so fucked up and SO. WELL. DONE.

I really, really loved this chapter. My favourite so far probably.

This is the first time I cried after a chapter. It hit me so hard.

Almost made me quit the manga. We finally got a confession from Armin, but right in the middle of all that grief, I couldn't enjoy it. Poor Ramzi and Halill, and all other innocent people beyond and within the Walls.

This chapter has had a ripple effect on how I’m seeing the series now in retrospect. I’ve been re-reading the manga , & I’ve become very melancholic after the Rumbling , knowing  everything was leading to this.

This was a phenomenal chapter. Thank you Isayama for everything.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

2,137 responses

Finding a favorite moment in a tragic chapter isn’t easy but we managed. “Child Eren’s moment of happiness” tops the list with an impressive 30% of respondents. “Seeing the reality of the rumbling” (18.8%), “Eren’s tearful apology to Ramzi” (15.9%) and “Getting Eren’s thoughts on the Rumbling while in Marley” (13.8%) round out the top four.

Very cool to finally see the destruction caused by the rumbling and some more insight into Eren's character

I like that this chapter showed perspectives from both the initiator of the rumbling (Eren) and the victims of his choice. It makes you sympathize with Eren, but at the same time, terrifies you with the price humanity has to pay.

Definitely one of the most depressing, if not the most depressing chapter thus far. Isayama brilliantly handled the transition between Eren's despair and the result of Eren's despair (Rumbling). Beautiful artwork. Great cliffhanger. Definitely a 9/10.

Tragic, Terrifying, Heartbreaking also Awesome because atleast AruAni became somewhat cannon

beautiful art as usual

The freedom scene with kid eren is the most beautiful/horrifying scene of the manga.

I also loved the Annie and Armin talk, anyone who says it's shipping cringe is a child, this was a long time coming and it was executed beautifully. (I also love how Hitch was mentioned twice, she would be proud of Armin this chapter.)

Ramzi and Halil deaths were the saddest part of this chapter, and I don't know about Ymir, but I guess she's helping Eren.

The panel showing the wall titans faces, especially the one shown on the right with empty eye sockets, gave me the chills. Can't wait to see how things will go down between the gang and Eren.

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 2,144 responses

This month giving us the most harrowing chapter in a while made it feel wrong to be looking for an MVP amidst all this despair, and almost half of you agree (47.5%). Just over a quarter of you believe the Eren focus earned him the spot (28.9%), with 9.4% choosing Armin and 9.1% selecting best bros Ramzi and Halil. A distant minority of you chose Annie and Birb, the former of which coming dead last. Poor Annie, you’ll be more popular than a bird one day.

the true mvp was the depression we got along the way

Eren needs a hug

Eren needs to be put down.

I really admire the way Isayama deeply makes you care for a character in a few panels, like he did for those two - relatively unknown - boys.

Annie is the best girl

birbs are the rreak mvp since chap 1

  EIGHT MONTHS AFTER FIRST APPEARING IN THE MEMORY SHARDS, WE GET FEZ-KUN’S STORY.  DID IT LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS? 2,121 responses

Only a month ago, the fandom had no idea what to make of the mysterious Fez-Kun. The plucky pickpocket had a simple but effective story, and knew more secrets than he could possibly have understood. A perfect half of respondents were pleasantly surprised with Fez kid’s part in the story. 41.2% were content as it was about what they expected. 6.2% wanted to see a more in-depth picture but alas, that chance has been crushed mercilessly along with Ramzi’s hopes and dreams (and… the rest of him). 2.5% just weren’t into anything that let Eren lean into some morally black territory. Don’t worry, there are still plenty of grey shades here. Very dark shades of grey.

I didn't expect Ramzy's story to be expanded on, but it's so brutal to see the man he's been talking to killing him, his brother, his family and his hopes.

I know Ramzi and Halil were plot devices, but damn their death hit hard.

I think Eren saving Ramzi is foreshadowing. He knew Ramzi was gonna die in rumbling, yet he saved him. Same will happen, after someone reaching him and reminding him who he is, Eren will stop this madness and die. Or I wanna be hopeful.

even if i'm satisfied with Ramzi's story, I wish there would have been more to it because it is a tiny bit dissapointing but it's more or less what I expected.

Ramzi and Halil didn’t deserve death

i think everybody who dies in this rumbling will get back alive same will happen to halil and ramzi they will come back alive

Ramzi and Halil's deaths were so horrible but so good to see, because this is what it means when you destroy the world. You don't get to pluck out the nice ones and enjoy killing the bad ones. It's the height of cruel selfishness. And no amount of apologies changes that.

Ramzi and Halil deserved so much better

  WHY WAS EREN DISAPPOINTED THAT HUMANITY EXISTED OUTSIDE THE WALLS? 2,117 responses

There’s been disagreement over exactly what Eren meant when he said he was disappointed that humanity existed outside the walls and our poll reflects that. Just over a third of the fandom (34.2%) take Eren’s words literally and believe that his disappointment was with any existence of humanity since it marred his pristine childhood vision. The second most popular option is that he was disappointed in the attitudes, selecting “he was disappointed to discover all of humanity was filled with violence and oppression” (29.5%). We deliberately left off an “All of the above” option but that didn’t stop more than 50 people from writing it in.

He is disappointed at the fact that he has to fight humans with homes, families, pasts and futures and not mindless titans.

It's also a clear contrast between the outside world Armin envisioned and the one Eren wanted. Armin genuinely wanted to know more about it, Eren wanted his worldwide natural park to walk on. When it was full of civilization, he wanted to get rid of it. Like any typical villain wanting to purify the Earth of all the worms infesting it.

When he discovered that humans are just as cruel within the walls as without, it put his entire journey into perspective. He could not be Eren the hero or Eren the explorer and ultimately meant that the sacrifices made by his comrades were negligible in comparison to the big, cruel world , at least in his own mind.

He thought of all the beautiful landscapes and stuff that Armin showed him. Too bad there's these stupid humans in the way. Makes sense to eliminate the entire human population ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everyone's fight against titans was pointless and the people who caged them could enjoy the things that Eren will never experience. The world is not a uninhabited landscape open to explore it, the world didn't need them and their freedom wasn't a possibility to enjoy it like the others civilizations do.

The world was out there and yet they did NOTHING to help Eldia

yes, eren is disappointed because there are now more enemies. but more than that, he's disappointed that they're not the monsters he's imagined them to be. that he can't kill them without feeling guilt and remorse.

he would never be able to enjoy the freedom he wanted because the clock is ticking and he will have to keep on resisting the whole world till the end without ever having time to properly realize his dream

I think he's disappointed in the fact that he's feeling sorry for humanity outside the walls just like Reiner used to feel sorry about people inside the walls. When he discovered Reiner was a traitor, he especially hated that part of his behavior, and how he realizes they're not that different, and in any case he's worse because at least Reiner had his child soldier brainwashing as an excuse

His disappointment is as bad as it sounds, having to deal with humans outside the walls was too bothersome for him and when the option to wipe them out was available to him, he was more inclined to take it, instead of fight for another resolution.

Typical privileged White boy outraged by prejudice and hatred OUTSIDE the walls, as if that didn't exist in Paradis already.

Any hopeful expectation Eren had of the outside world were completely decimated. Not only did he discover that humanity hadn't perished, but they actively contributed to or blissfully ignored Paradis' hell. In addition, the outside world is exploiting one other for resources. Paradis’ synthetically concocted hell is just part of a game to the outside world (there’s some uncomfortable real-world allusions here and I think it’s important that it’s being explored). Eren thought he was the saviour of humanity only to discover everything's he's done was for naught, humanity's the problem in his eyes.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S CONTRADICTORY NATURE? 2,106 responses

Deciding to crush the vast majority of the world and its citizens kind of takes a mental toll on people. Who knew? 48% of respondents think Eren’s emotional breakdown side by side with determination to reach freedom at any cost is simply him deciding the results will be worth his immense guilt. 23.2% think it’s a very human case of cognitive dissonance, and that Eren’s just trying to juggle his conflicting values. 19.2% believe his mental state is fraying at the seams reminiscent of the way Reiner’s did. 6.8% don’t buy that there’s any contradiction being shown here.

He was willing to throw away his humanity to become the monster that brings change

He's being a hypocrite. His guilt doesn't hold any value because it's entirely his choice. He's apologizing because there's no greater good, just his selfish dream.

He's never been okay, it's just that we're finally seeing him for who he is without the "protagonist illusion".

I don't think it's contradictory though. He's grieving sure, but he's also going along with his plan. Because he wants to be free.

He's not mentally stable and it shows

He's to some extent influenced by the Shingeki and/or its previous holders

He's trying to convince himself that humanity is evil sl he won't feel guilty about what he's doing

Hes a fully grown adult who knows better, no matter how bad he feels he doesnt deserve sympathy

The future cannot be changed and Eren is a slave to the attack titan's objective to push foreward

This chapter shows a lot of parallel between Eren and Reiner, he even said himself that he's worse than Reiner in the genocide that he's created. says himself that

What a fucking asshole

When Eren saw the future he knew the rumbling was inevitable so he is the one having to carry to burden of being ‘humanity’s enemy’ whether or not it was Eren to fulfill the rumbling it would’ve happened either way so he isn’t immediately a devil

Erens nature isn’t contradictory. He’s just now becoming self aware of the impact of his violent nature

He feels guilty about his actions and feels sorry for people who are going to be killed, but on the other hand - he is selfish and will do everything to reach his perfect reality.

Humans are an amalgamation of their actions. They sometimes arrive at destinations they did not fully intend. They may also realize too late that the path that they’ve set down is leading them in a direction they are not happy with, but eren is too far gone. He’s sane, understands he is objectively evil, but cannot turn back.

He totally snapped and turned into the psychopath that was sleeping inside of him for a long time. It was indeed very dangerous to entrust him with more power than he can handle.

Isayama did the same thing with Zeke. I think he likes the idea of the cool, mysterious guy, but it falls flat when the motivation doesn’t line up & the characters turn out to be crying & weak to fit the narrative once it’s revealed.

I don't know how to word this, but he is caged in his own vision to the point where any human decency and the ability to think is killed. Only a selfish, hateful and childish shell remained that is throwing a tantrum over his childbook fairytale not being true. It's not the same as Reiner, because Eren chose this. He wanted this, it is his fault. He had the power to stop this, but didn't. He can apologize as much as he wants, but he isn't feeling sorry at all.

He feels guilty, which is why he is having a mental breakdown like Reiner.

He’s having a mental breakdown but it's worse than Reiner's

painfully obvious this chapter was just Eren trying by all means to justify the Rumbling. Not because of some noble intention or cornering them into the inevitable, but just because he wanted to erase the world.

the eren reiner parallels man.. they never stop

  IN HIS FINAL MOMENTS, RAMZI SEES AN APPARITION OF YMIR. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 2,104 responses

Ymir has finally appeared since we last saw her in chapter 122, and her presence as well as motivations are seemingly shrouded in mystery. Over a third believe she is watching everything but not necessarily feeling good or bad about it (32.1%), and some of you think she may be questioning her decision (16.2%). A minority of you opted to choose that her appearance means she is enjoying seeing it unfold (9.6%), or that we are witnessing a phenomenon related to titan deaths that have occurred all this time (7.5%). The most popular choice, however, (34.6%) is simply expressing bewilderment at the Evangelion-esque shenanigans we’re seeing.

Ymir could be the one doing all the actions of destruction since Eren let her free.

i really think after ymir appeared again even tho eren freed her that she's regretting giving him the founder's power and will have a role is taking him down

the presence of Ymir intrigues me and I hope that in the next chapter we will have her point of view.

I think Ymir is the one who's been pulling the ropes for a long time. Whenever Eren thinks there might be another way (especially throught he disappearance of the Eldian race) he compulsively thinks that he just CAN'T accept that, like there's a force driving him towards seeking freedom.

I hope that Ymir appearance means that she is counting and seeing Eren victims so she can create them Again without Eldian hate

Ymir being outside, and Kid Eren appearing in the paths might have a connection. Ymir was a grownup when she was killed but inside the paths she was shown a kid. Same as Eren being shown in the paths. This might signifies Eren is not in control of the situation but Ymir is.

I have had theories for a while about Ymir possibly turning on Eren, whether this is to save the world to show she is better than Eren, or to bring Paradis to destruction as well to show she is just as bad.

WHAT IN THE EVA?

Loved the Evangelion reference. YAMS YOU MADLAD!

Ymir might be the true enemy

WHAT THE FUCK IS YMIR AYANAMI DOING THERE?  

  WHAT IS KID EREN DOING HERE? 2,099 responses

Child Eren appears in one of the most stunning panels of the chapter, but what does it mean?  Two options came out on top, with the idea that Eren is mentally regressing to a child (37.9%) edging out that it’s symbolism comparing child Eren to current Eren (36.1%).

I think we are going to see different Eren during the rumble, the past with Eren as a child, the future perhaps with a more mature or elderly Eren and the Eren of the present.

Adult Eren is incapacitated and Kid eren took his place through paths, will wake up for the "see you later, Eren"

Adult Eren unknowingly brought kid Eren’s consciousness to the present while he was sleeping under the tree. This is part of his “dream” that he had at the beginning of the story.

It is symbolises Erens mentality as a kid and how his flawed ideology doesn't hold up to the real world he faced outside of the walls. Also to cope.

Eren is the only character who cannot overcome the cycle of violence, so he will die.As you know, only without people can you become absolutely free, so he enjoys it when he realizes that nothing else binds him.

He has taken over paths from ymir, but since he is not bound by anything, he can do whatever the hell he wants, and is the reason he connected to armin while speaking to him.

It shows that Eren is not fully in control of the PATHS. For example in this scene, he remembers Armin because of his memory as a child talking about freedom with Armin then Armin suddenly appears although Eren himself didn't wish for something like that to happen thus it's just to show that PATHS connecting all Subjects of Ymir even in different timeline.

This links in with Floch... Eren loves Floch.

He was dreaming about the past and accidentally used the power of the Founder to show his younger self a vision of the Attack Titan's current point of view.

He's a sociopathic freak

It is symbolic of his old dream that he will have to give up on soon.

Can I say all of the above again? I saw it as a representation of Eren in his most pure, idealistic state which is then contrasted by the realistic horror of the destruction he is causing.

Brought into the present by adult Eren to give his younger self a taste of freedom without all the guilt. This is the beginning of the long dream kid Eren awakes from in Chapter 1.

Child Eren's Evangelion/Devilman(Crybaby)-esque "elation" seems like a metaphorical emotional release (and P A T H S shenanigans).

Something about the kid-Eren “freedom” scene is just so incredible and impactful; fully restored my faith that Isayama will deliver an amazing finale for this masterpiece.

THE MORE I LOOK AT THIS PANEL THE MORE MY HEART HURTS. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL YET SO DAMN FUCKED UP. GOD. FRICK. FRIIIICKKKKKK

  KID EREN FINALLY WITNESSES “THAT SIGHT”, BUT WHAT DID HE ACTUALLY SEE? 2,113 responses

The world-shattering reveal almost a year ago of Eren gaining an important glimpse into the future, characterised as “that sight”, was finally answered in this chapter -- or was it? The majority of you believe kid Eren was merely enjoying the view from above that filled him with freedom, blissfully ignorant to the carnage of the rumbling (50.8%). Close to a quarter (23.8%) think he was able to see the rumbling but was enjoying the freedom in spite of it, with a small portion (5%) believing all the death was a part of his glee. Some aren’t yet sold on the idea that this is “that sight”, perhaps believing we will see it later (20.4%).

I don't think that his inner child is aware of the rumbling. He is only focused on the scenery and wants Armin to see that too.

A world without any walls is what kid eren always wanted to see. Through paths, kid eren achieved this (without seeing the death)

  HOW WILL ARMIN BEING ABLE TO SEE KID EREN THROUGH PATHS AFFECT THE PLOT? 2,114 responses

Child Eren showing up was confusing enough, but he had to see Armin through paths too!?  What does it mean!?  A majority, at 55.5% think it foreshadows Armin’s coming importance in whatever the endgame turns out to be. Almost a third, at 28.6% think that it also opens up the possibility for other characters to connect with Eren through paths.

Armin was the person Eren has been sharing his dreams with. He is mentally showing his friend that the realisation of their dreams is finally at hand.

Eren can call forth anyone he wants, but if he doesn't want to see them I'm not sure if they could get to him

It foreshadows Armin and Eren clashing on a deeper level. I don't think anyone can actually stop Eren at this point.

Eren is so suped up with in this final form and with Ymir's "support" that when he thought about Armin it created a link through the paths.

Armin gets to briefly see the old "idealistic" Eren again. The one he can somewhat see eye-to-eye with and incidentally "created".

I think it might be just a visual metaphor on how Armin and Eren never really understood each other while sharing the same dream and that Armin is realizing that (I mean that the dream of "seeing the outside world" didn't mean the same thing to them). Or it might be that Eren is in a comatose sort of state and that since he technically is in control of paths, his thoughts are "sent" to Armin since he's reflecting on their shared dream

It shows Eren and Armin both want the same end goal. Though they disagree on the means of getting to it

The world is not like the one he saw in Armin's book. Hence why he contacted him, this is his way of reaching for his vision of freedom that he was denied because of the trauma of the wall.

Reference to the ocean scene where Eren was depressed and Armin excited, now its reversed

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ARMIN AND ANNIE’S TALK ON THE SHIP? 2,124 responses

While this tiny moment of apparent romance was a delight for the 20% of the fandom who expressed “Whoo hoo Aruani is canon!!”, the remaining 80% were slightly more subdued in their reaction. The largest percentage (35.3%) was happy that the build up between their characters had some payoff. The second most popular selection had nothing to do with Armin or Annie at all with “I just wanna know what’s up with the birds” garnering 26% of the vote. Lastly, 11.2% felt like this moment was completely out of place, selecting “Now’s not the time for love drama Isayama.”

We better see Armin and Annie kiss next chapter

The Armin/Annie was not that necessary, I’d loved way more a more "group" discussion with Mikasa, Jean n Reiner in it. Old 104th days style

Besides the shipping moment, Annie just came to terms with that she’s still not alone, which is huge for her character

I'm not sure if Isayama knows how unnatural aruani is. These two had a grand total of 3 interactions, and sparing each other still isn't prone to romantic feelings blooming on either side.

a bad fking attempt by isayama at romance, should have stuck with eren historia love child

The aruani was unexpected but nice xD I don't exactly ship them but they are cute in this chapter(I can't help but feel one of them is getting a death flag because of this though💀)

What about them talking about all the shit she did or has been through? I wanted to see that.

SHE'S NOT TAKING MY MAN ISTG SHE'S NOT ON MY WATCH

Ship and let ship, this is actually a very intresting pairing and I think the scene flowed very naturally. But I still hope that in the future manga focuses more in the plot and not in the ships. I'd hope the same from fandom, but of course that's too much to ask...

This was a nice moment away from death and destruction

They’re definitely gonna die soon

am i the only one who don’t ship annie and armin? like bro... she squashed your little friends like bugs

Yoo bitch AruAni is canon LETSS FUCKING GOOO Love this cinnamon couple..More canon couple please Yams!

CANT BELIEVE ARMIN IS TRYING TO GET A GF WHEN MILLIONS R DYING HES FR A HOE🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

I only saw Bertolt there.

Maybe it's just me but i dont see anything romantic about the scene to me i prefer the weird friendship they have

While it seemed slightly out of place I’m glad Isayama touched on their “therapy sessions”.

Oh God no please don’t do this, Annie isn’t they type of character that needs any sort of romance in her story to be happy

Both aruani is canon 🥳 and wtf Isayama not the time…

c'mon falling for an enemy uncounscious girl with whom you have wangsty once-sided talks, a girl you manipulated to capture and used as a bait against enemies, really ???

They’re finally talking, I’ve been waiting so long for them to talk things out, also I really like Annie’s character development! And finally CANON, I’ve been waiting for sooooo long!!!!!!

I selected the bird because I feel threatened by it but also WOO HOO ARUANI IS CANON

I really enjoyed the scene between Annie and Armin. I think it further cements AOT as a very human narrative. They both know there are bigger things going on, but that doesn't allow them to turn off their very human emotions, which come out in a moment of rest. I don't believe this will necessarily lead to more romantic scenes between them, unless the ending of the story is far more hopeful than I expect it to be.

  WHY DO YOU THINK EREN APPEARS TO BE IN A SLEEP-LIKE STATE? 2,088 responses

Not long after his grand arrival on the shore, Eren seems to be having a little nap. 45.3% of respondents think he’s relying on his base instincts for his walk around the world. 15.8% think he’s wide awake but just trying to ignore the squishy things he’s stepping on. Turns out it’s actually pretty tiring to declare war on the world, or so say 14.2% of you. 12.1% think it’s no coincidence his apparently sleepy face was shown right after the intense stare of birb, and 8.8% think that the image hints at a secret puppet master pulling Eren’s strings. We received a lot of comments suggesting Ymir might be the big bad after all - now how is Eren gonna earn that sweet sweet freedom if he’s not willing to bust a few billion skulls, eh?

He left the Attack Titan on auto-mode

i just wish to know that....now that Eren has a long ass neck.....will he come back as a human or....he will be like this forever

Symbolic of the fact that he isn’t really seeing the sight. It’s a fools errand like Eren’s goal.

I think it is symbolic. The 'adult' in him is sleeping while the 'child' in him is taking the reigns.

His consciousness has been transferred to his titan's brain. He's essentially an Attack Titan battery .

He is dreaming, ignorant to the destruction below and seeing the freedom he envisioned as a kid.

his consciousness is in PATHS dimension and he's controlling things from there

How the fuck is he sleeping when the wall titans are executing complex commands, like diving under ships and surrounding the city?

I don't think he is sleeping. He rather looks beaten and devastated and just numb to what he is doing in order to cope.

I figure that bc he's so big, he kind of has to be like this. Normally when he's in his titan with his eyes open, he's being active. I think that although he's set the titans in motion, he's in a more passive role now. He also can't be all that active when he's that huge, right?

I honestly don't know. I can speculate its connection to Ymir's apparition and child Eren's lucid dream?

He's irrevocably fucked thanks to good old Gabi and her rifle.

He's losing his will to live.  Also leaves an opening for Armin to wake him up like he did in Trost.

HE'S THE SLAVE NOW

Maybe he is actively controlling / managing something else at the time? Maybe something crucial we don't know about yet, I don't believe that he is just exhausted.

His adult self is asleep now because his child self is having fun in his perfect world. Eren is mentally weak as adult but his inner child is strong and is reaching everything Eren always wanted - freedom and happiness.

He’s unable to regenerate due to controlling all the colossal titans, or just won’t because he wasn’t in Titan form when his head was blown off, meaning he will eventually die

i feel as if having eren not be in control would be mildly disappointing because the manga has done so much to set up erens decent into madness and how his actions became so extreme, i would be disappointed if all of that went to waste.

I would guess that Eren might be sifting through future memories at the moment. Looking at the "unknown world"/"the scenery" that made him smile wistfully instead of being horrified/the thing "beyond hell" Eren mentioned to Falco.  

His adult self is sleeping now, while his young self is having fun.

I think hes not fully in control (maybe ymir calling the shots)

I'm kinda torn between him operating on base instincts and him being controlled by someone (Ymir?) so I'm gonna go with both as the possibility.

Maybe he really doesn't want this? I think Ymir's the one in control

Ymir is controlling him

He is not the one driving this titan, Ymir is.

Really? You talk about his eyes being closed and not the fact that he has the neck structure of a turkey!?

  THE FINAL PAGE ENDS ON ARMIN’S HOPEFUL WISH FOR THE EXISTENCE OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD HE ENVISIONED AS A CHILD, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK? 2,101 responses

Despite the darkness this chapter brought to the story, Armin ends on a hopeful note. The top two options were 36.8% thinking there’s a possibility Armin will in fact be able to stop Eren. and 33.7% believe Armin to be too optimistic, and that it won’t pan out the way he wishes.

Armin's recalling of his childhood dream with Eren in the last page made me think there's still a hidden solution to resolve the dilemma.  

This chapter also shown Armin not wanting to give up with reconciling the Eren he wanted to see and the actual Eren. He hears no evil.

Tragic ending, yes, but I don't think Armin's hope is misplaced all the same. I think Eren cannot be stopped without death, but I also don't think the entire world will be destroyed, and I don't think it will end hopelessly.

Either Armin’s gonna save humanity or everybody just dies the end 😹

That one bird that was perched on the ship might be the symbol of peace. But I'm not sure how that peace is going to be achieved if the option's still on the table.

I hope the alliance is able to save Eren from doing this unthinkable sin.

Probably a blossoming hope through Armin breaking Eren from Ymir's plan uwu

I think Armin could join/support Eren

  THIS CHAPTER CONTINUED THE BIRD MOTIF, THIS TIME HAVING A FOCUS ON SCENES ENDING WITH A BIRD STARING DIRECTLY AT A CHARACTER. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?! 2,067 responses

The Spy Birds theory seemed a bit nutty last month, but I don’t trust that seagull one bit. And it looks like many of you agree because that nutty theory has gone mainstream! The majority of respondents (54.1%) think that the birds are under the influence of a higher power, mainly that of Eren (27.4%) or Ymir (26.7%). 26.6% don’t think the birds are suspicious, they’re just free, man. 13% just reckon Isayama has moved on from his love of drawing thicc horses, and birds are the cool new animal. No complaints here. But I still don’t trust that seagull.

The birds are up to something

Animals sense danger coming from nature before humans do.

bird is symbol for freedom, but some bird like crow and raven in some culture are symbol for death.

I think that pigeons are watching me through P A T H S

Black birds symbolize the people's doom , white bird that flew to armin symbolises hope

black birds: death ; seagul: garbage :))) I dunno, the seagul was so random. It means they are approaching the shore?

EREN IS BRAN STARK IN AOT UNIVERSE LET'S GOO

I dont sure its eren or ymir. But i hope there is something about bird. I hope there are a huge plot twist

Might be another Odin parallel if Eren is using them, but I don't really see why he'd bother. I don't think he needs to do recon.

FREEEEEEEDOOOOOM

Last time I thought that the bird theory was a little far-fetched but now I think that's 100% the deal. That seagul is just somehow way too focused on to be just a random animal.

I commented in the previous poll that the birds are surveillance cameras and i’m even more convinced now. And isn’t it poetic that the Wings of Freedom logo is made up of a pair of black and white wings, representing the different interpretations of freedom pursued by Eren and Armin.

This is all just a Genjutsu by Itachi

my personal favorite theory, it’s zeke seeing everything transpire through the power of the beast titan

Pure!Boy Armin gets the seagull because he still has DREAMS and Eren gets crows because he wants to feast on human flesh.

WHAT'S UPP WITH THE BIRDS AAAAAAHHH TELL ME

I don't know but is really cool if you see it as a symbol of hope/freedom. Birds are the only kind who will not going to be tumble over the rumbling.

I think it's about the colors, black is dark, just like the destruction Eren is causing to the world (including Ramzi and Halil) and white is bright, just like the peace that Armin wished for and is aiming to achieve with the alliance

  HOW DID THIS CHAPTER AFFECT YOUR VIEWS ON THE RUMBLING? 2,100 responses

If we thought seeing the reality of the rumbling would be a game changer when it comes to our view of it, we were wrong. Only 5% of people who formerly supported it no longer do. For the rest of us 44% do not support the rumbling and 30% do. Most curiously, 21% claim to have no opinion. More on that below when we mirrored this question about our views on Eren.

I still don't support The Rumbling, I just want it to stop. It doesn't do anything good for anyone, even Eren himself, and this awfully awesome chapter proves it. I totally expect that via P A T H S.FM Armin and Mikasa could stop him (and save him, physical or psychologically, idk) . It's the only plausible way.

I think the rumbling is justified but I don’t think the civilians who had nothing against Erin don’t deserve to die.

I don’t think there is any other solution, and that’s the point… His outburst at Hange tells me that he was desperate for something. This is coming from Eren who can essentially see everything and inherited multiple people’s memories. If he couldn’t come up with it, I don’t think anyone else can (aside from Armin? But I’m not holding my breath). The 50-year plan was a delusional fantasy at best, technology would evolve rapidly and nullify any threat the Rumbling poses.

I was still kind of hoping Eren had something up his sleeve that wasn't mass slaughter, but I guess we're going there

I believe the full rumbling is a morally grey decision, but I’ll concede and say it’s on the darker end of the spectrum. ultimately eren will have to answer for what he’s done, necessary or not killing millions of innocent people is a horrible thing to do.

The world was never peaceful, and never will be. The Rumbling was inevitable, nothing could stop that.

  ON A SCALE FROM “IT’S JUST A FLESH WOUND” TO “HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWFUL”, HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PORTRAYAL OF THE RUMBLING?   2,110 responses

This probably didn’t need to be asked but we did it anyway. For the vast majority of us, the portrayal of the rumbling was overwhelming in terms of sheer horror. “It’s awful! I love it!” seems to be a common reaction.

Whelp... we wanted to see the rumbling. I guess be careful what we wish for.

I am once again reminded how gory SnK can be.

No holds barred. This is the sad, traumatic truth that we asked for.

RIP in pieces Clown-kun

At this point, it makes me sick to read pro-rumbling posts. Normally, when you like a villain or a morally grey character (Eren went past this point long ago) you enjoy seeing how their mentality works. And this is fully respectable, but not the "uuuh my baby did nothing wrong". If we did the same with our kings Floch and Zeke, it would be crazy, wouldn't it?

I’m glad the Rumbiling was shown in its full glory. It didn’t hide anything about the situation and was very gory. I’m glad we were shown what happened to the people during it, and not just after.

I can't feel engaged in the rumbling when it has been the default scenario since the sea, but more specifically 123. The boy had a death flag the size of Marley and now he's dead. Thanks for the shock, Yams. I'm interested in the potential of everything else. I hope I didn't follow this story for the final conflict to be whether to save more people or less people

It was great to see the Rumbling in its full gore. Isayama showed it masterfully and rly put emphasis on how terrifying and disturbing it is. I was never anti or pro of it before, bc I'm just enjoying the view as the reader, that didn't change, and I still like Eren bc he is a very entertaining character.

I loved seeing how awful everything was. Ofc in real life I wouldn't support it, but narratively? Wow!

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING BEST DESCRIBE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THE RUMBLING? (MULTISELECT) 2,109 responses

This chapter didn’t hold back in its brutal display of the rumbling, and it may be difficult to find the words to describe it, so we gave you twelve. A clear majority are able to agree on it being both tragic and terrifying, closely followed by those who would describe it as unavoidable, distressing or immoral. The choices in the minority included describing the rumbling as awesome, justified or heroic. Fun fact, over a third of the people who chose “heroic” also described it as some combination of “excessive”, “immoral” and “indefensible”. Talk about mixed feelings.

  HOW DID THIS CHAPTER AFFECT YOUR VIEWS ON EREN? 2,093 responses

If we thought seeing the horrors of the rumbling would be a game changer when it comes to our view of the person who unleashed it, we were wrong. This chapter did nothing to change the minds of the 40% who support Eren and the 30% who do not. Only a minority (8.3%) said this chapter made their support for Eren wane.

We were most curious about the 20% who selected “I have no opinion.” When we’ve waited so eagerly for Eren’s POV, how could a quarter of the fandom be neutral on how it affected them? Was this a failure on Isayama’s part or were our poll options poorly worded? We decided that rather than having no opinion,  “I don’t know what to think yet” might have been the better cop out...err I mean *neutral* option :P

I was one of those that was convinced that there had to be something more to the Rumbling, and this chapter shocked me to my core by revealing that there really isn't. Eren is just that disturbed. We wanted Eren POV but we weren't ready for it. Now I just want to see how Armin and Mikasa end this.

i love eren so much nothing can make me hate him but he is insane... all this and for what. THEY COULDNT HAVE TALKED IT OUT??? i feel so bad for eren he clearly does not want to kill all those people man...

We finally have Eren's pov now; I still don't know how to feel about it, but I'll always support him.

Eren is a character who really disgusts me because of his fucked up delusion of fReEdoM but I love him at the same time because he's really well written, this boy is a fascinating mess.

This chapter seems to have made things pretty straightforward. Eren is a lot of things but he’s not one to go back on his word. He said he was gonna rumble and now he’s doing it.  Not sure why people are having a hard issue saying he wouldn’t have done it. Uhhhh hello he’s nuts

i get eren's side but i just wish that there was another way to bring freedom and justice without genocide

I support eren as a character, however if his actions were translated to real life I would disagree with them. At the end of the day, genocide is not ok. He could’ve wiped out military bases, but civilian deaths is not ok. HOWEVER, for the sake of fiction, & the fact that there’s no decent alternative, it’s team Yeager.

Deep down his choice is selfish and this is why he is ashamed of it, the rest are just justifications. And he is not the only character who has selfish objectives hidden over good intentions, Erwin fought for humanity, but deep down he wanted to prove his father right, and Reiner on his quest to "Save Humanity" was just a mask to become a hero.

Really I want to see Eren fufill his dream, I’m still supporting him.

Ymir might have a role to play in his mental state.

Not to support the rumbling or anything, but I do feel sorry for Eren. He's like a cornered animal that attacked in panic and that attack's freaking deadly.

Even though the rumbling is tragic, this is Eren truly getting his way, no matter what. It's a rare thing to see in any literary work, and although I'm curious as to what the downfall/tragedy of his character will end up being after this, I love it all because for what feels like the first time, a character with bad intent is using the god power to accomplish their goal, and I can't get enough of it.

  WHAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN THIS CHAPTER 2,111 responses

Empathy for Eren is the theme for nearly 70% of the fandom with “I feel for him. He’s in a tough position” (43.7%) and “my heart aches for him” (22.1%) being the top two selections. On the opposite and more extreme ends of the spectrum, those who think he’s the greatest (15.1%) and those who think he’s the worst (14.9%) are nearly evenly matched. Interestingly only 4.2% expressed “I have no opinion” on this question compared to more than 20% on the question above.

Eren is my favorite character but I also don't support his actions.

I was disstressed for a few days after it.  How did it go to this? I kept reading this far just because I wanted Eren to be happy and have his happy ending, and what do we have now?..

I feel bad for eren, he's in a position no one would want to be, and he hates what hes doing no matter how much he needs to

This chapter could possibly stablish once and for all Eren as a unchangable character since he has reached a point of no return.

Eren is GOAT, the rumbling is wrong but I still love eren

This entire chapter just reaffirms the fact that Eren has always been a self absorbed, self-pitying child from the very beginning

I don't get how people can still support Eren just because he cried a little.

To think that all the shit that has happened since RTS (Sasha killed, Liberio attacked, Tybur murdered, Zackley assassinated, Nile and Pixis titanised, Levi forced to decimate his own titanised squad and then nearly dying, Jaegerist coup, Shadis beat up, Historia pregnant AND ANYTHING ELSE I'VE FORGOTTEN) is all because of some long, convoluted plan for one single boy's childish, problematically simplistic, black-and-white dream for "Freedom" is. I can't. I'm tired. Eren's pov is so outrageously outlandish that I can't relate. At all.

I cant feel bad for Eren, he is the only person responsible on his guilt and sadness. Also genocide is the worst option and even Eren says it.

He was sheltered his whole life; he has no proper context or framework for concepts like racism and war between humans. He “optimistically” thought his fight was that of human vs titan. That's why I don't blame him for coming to the Rumbling conclusion after the basement reveal. I give him a lot of credit for empathizing with "the other side" and I do believe Eren tried his best to come up with alternative solutions.

I feel for Eren, he was sold the idea of a perfect, peaceful, untouched world, ripe for discovery, filled with the beauty and awe of nature, but in reality it was full of cruel xenophobia people who hated his very existance. I don't support the rumbling but i understand why Eren did it.

Eren is obsessed with his perfect vision of "Freedom" where there are no limits to his will, but sadly for him, he lives on a reality where others exist and as long he has to interact with them, there are going to be limitations he is going to be bound. So even if he kills everyone outside the island, there is going to be another "wall" he needs to overcome.  

Seeing Eren cry and hear his doubts actually made me just more angry with him: "If you are so sad about the fate of the outside world then fucking change the future, don't just give up!!!!!!!" He seems to be very clung in the idea that the future is set and there is nothing he can do to change it.

Okay but look at Eren's centipedal Hell's creation's TINY BUTT. It's so funny seeing that little boney ass on this gigantic thing

  EREN SEEMS TO HAVE MANY MOTIVATIONS. HOW WOULD YOU RANK THEM?

This one was interesting. With this chapter’s iconic imagery of kid Eren spreading his arms declaring “this is freedom”, it’s unsurprising that most of us agree with that as a very important motivation for him. His friends were also chosen as a very important motivation, though not as much as his love for freedom. Historia and her child just edged out the motivation of the people of Paradis, though interestingly it has less “somewhat important” votes and more “not important at all votes”, making it clearly divisive even if it has more “very important” votes.. But the motivation with an even more divisive perception is revenge, with nearly an even split between those who view it as very, somewhat and not important at all.  

Everything Eren is doing is for the sake of his friends and Historia, there was no other choice to protect the island.

I think that the only thing what matters to Eren is freedom and reaching the perfect world he saw in his dreams after reading Armin's book. The dream of his inner child is playing the most important role in his life. Eren is ready to sacrifice his friends, his mentors and people on Paradis - just to see the special scenery and finally feel FREE.

Feel sad to see eren need to do all of this, but i know its for his friend and paradis

I hope that Eren doesn’t harm the alliance

  REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU FEEL POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY ABOUT EREN, DO YOU THINK HE IS BEING PORTRAYED AS A VILLAIN AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY? 2,098 responses

It’s truly a testament to Isayama’s strength as a writer when a character’s deliberate annihilation of billions is met with a majority response of “there are no villains or heroes here.” 57.1% think that as tragic as the situation now may be, nobody in this manga really qualifies as villainous. Or at least, not when our feisty protagonist is involved. 33.7% think the manga is a tale of a hopeful boy slowly turning to the dark side. 5.6% see this all as part of a hero’s tumultuous journey. Finally, 3.5% think it’s unfair to cast Eren as a villain since he’s not the one in control. Gotta say, if Eren is not the one destroying the world he really shouldn’t have said he was going to destroy the world.

This chapter just proves that Eren ISN'T a complete villain. I disagree with the rumbling, but what Eren's going through is something that I empathize with.This chapter just made it easier for me to keep rooting for everyone, even though a completely happy ending is not an option anymore.

I really hope Eren's in for a change of heart soon. I hate the idea of him being the final villain. He's definitely redeemable. Even he is eligible to have a dark foil and rival. Maybe we'll get that later on in Zeke who I feel is also redeemable.

More and more of the story is unveiled, I really like how this is going. Ever since knowing the outside world I have decided that Eren is no longer a hero but then he is not a villain either so does everyone in the story. I like Eren a lot but I'd say that I just like to observe, to see, never to support or to oppose. So this chapter is really amazing to me as I managed to see more about Eren.

eren is a villian whether you like it or not

I feel Walter white Vibe from Eren.

Eren is evil period!!!! There is no justification for mass murder. If he wants to savr his ppl then just wipe out the army, navy, air force, warriors and the leaders period not everyone including INNOCENT ppl....

EREN IS GOAT. He is portrayed as a hero who makes tough choices that no other shitty shonen character even can do.

Eren needs to stop the rumbling. It maybe justified his needs but the people outside the walls didn't deserved it. They're both each other's enemies. He used to say people outside the walls are monsters but he became one himself. He desired freedom but in the end he was a slave to his own desire.

Isayama could chose to make him some what of a villainous character, or he could chose to set it up as if eren is more of an anti hero doing then wrong things for the right reasons

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,543 responses

No superlatives to describe how great or awesome this chapter was this month. The Rumbling hurt us all (well done, Yams, mission accomplished). That being said, it looks like we’re all masochists, considering this chapter is in the top 5 highest rated chapters since chapter 91.

Tragic [169; 4.69]

Sad [89; 4.73]

Pain [77; 4.86]

Depressing [69; 4.75]

Heartbreaking [48; 4.77]

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 2,089 responses

With what we want next chapter we find it especially surprising that the majority are ready to give Eren’s perspective a break. Since google sometimes fails us in displaying the data, we’ll just list it all out. Of the options we provided, our wishes for next chapter from most to least popular are: Let’s keep it with the Eren POV (23.4%), The alliance reaching Odiha (22.4%), WHERE TF IS LEVI??? (10.6%), I could go for a few more mental breakdowns (10.1%), More Ymir being mysterious (7.9%), WHERE TF IS LEVI??? (10.6%), SAVE US ZEKE (8.9%), Oh god go back to Historia please (8.5%), Finality for Floch (6%) and More birbs ovo (2.2%)

Yo where tf is Rico

I want to see levi

fuck yeah more mental break down, I'm ready to be depressed

I really want to see more of Armin and kid Eren in Paths next chapter. That one panel was super interesting and I would love to go back to it.

hurt me more isayama

Please yams I want to see Flochad kill Hange, that’s all I ask for.

Zeke returns next chapter pleaseeeee

HOPE WE GET TO SEE HOW THE ISLAND IS DOING NEXT CHAPTER

It's getting to the final and I don't like that

as only 3-4 chapters are left, I dont think we are going to get another eren POV, I am still dying to see the conditions of the other main characters, whereas zeke and floch are unfinished mysteries.

someone from alliance is dying soon

I've gotta see more Historia. What is she doing and thinking right now? What is her role moving forward?

Just shut up with historia in this survey. She's irrelevant. Now I hate answering your polls.Never again!

i literally don't know what to expect next chapter like yams is just THAT good

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 2,025 responses

The platforms where we discuss the series remain relatively unchanged with Reddit providing the plurality of responses. Thank you Reddit! We appreciate it. That said, we’d love to see this chart balance out a little more so please feel free to share the poll wherever you discuss the series. That includes the 5 of you degenerates on Snapchat.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 553 responses

Uhhh *disappears*

ZEKE-KUN PLEASE BE A GOOD ONII-CHAN AND SAVE THE WORLD FROM YOUR TROUBLED LITTLE OTOTO

listen, birds are pretty cool ok

Beautifully tragic, exactly what I wanted to see from Eren after being shown in a villainous light for 30+ chapters. Being introduced to a new character, in particular an innocent child and then finally revealing his name and story was a perfect way to show the true horrors of an indiscriminate near-omnicide, it definitely brought tears to my eyes.

(😢) SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DIE JAEGER (😢)

As expected of Isayama-sensei, it's exactly right.

Annie being revealed as aromantic is the unexpected happy development in this tragedy.

Kiddos, the "it's just fiction" argument refers to the fact that you are allowed to *enjoy* watching fucked up things in fiction because people, in general, can distinguish between fiction and reality. It does not mean writing essays to *justify* said fucked-up things that happen in fiction, because you almost certainly start bringing your own real-life logic to fictional events. Aka, mixing up reality and fiction. Showing your true colors. Allowing your beliefs to slip into discussion. Whatever you call that.

THE BIRDS HAVE PATHS, I CALLED IT LAST CHAPTER!

Annie has always had a hard time expressing her feelings and that she has had complexes for a long time. I'm glad Armin was able to tell her what he was thinking because it will give Annie more confidence. Plus, Annie has always been introverted and I love that Isayama tells us more about her character.

The ravens are a reference to Odin’s, a mythology character. He has two ravens, they symbolise memory and mind/thought.

What a manga.

what eren did is right you can come up with any other solution

What in the everliving fuck is going on? Can we go back to factory reset and knock some sense into Eren before he starts having wild ideas like this one? Please

BEST SHIP FINALLY HAPPENING PROPERLY AHHHHH MY BOY ARMIN IS FINALLY TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS EVEN IF IT'S SUBTLE

If Eren is the bird he really is Armins WINGman.

I KNEW ARMIN LIKED ANNIE! But seeing Annie blush was a nice surprise. I thought she was the ice queen in terms of romance.

This poll is bias toward historia. I wish if y’all stop the shipping b.s

birds are supposed to symbolize freedom in most cultures, innit?

This chapter was so important to me. It showed the reality of the rumbling, and that scenery, and most importantly, Eren's true feelings on the genocide, including his now split younger self. He feels guilty about it, he knows it's bad yet he has to do it because he has no other option if he wants Paradis and everyone he loves to survive. During my life I have had a lot of instances where I had to sacrifice a lot  in order to survive, including disociating and splitting my personality in two, crushing my own feelings to do what had to be done, so characters like Eren are very relatable in that sense to me. In a kill-or-be-killed situation, there is no place nor time for doubts nor mercy and you have to do what you have to do.

Very interesting, trágico and raw, but also  liked the comparison between different concepts of the world and freedom between Armin and Eren. Also loved all the AruAni moments, they were not only adorable but also helped those two characters talk about things they needed to open up about since a long time ago lol.

I want to get off Mr. Isayama's Wild Ride

Am I the only one who can't take the alliance seriously?

Wasn't really feeling the AruAni moment, but other than that top tier chapter can't wait for more.

Armin possibly realizes Eren isn't in the right state of mind. If Eren is projecting himself as a child, then Armin might be able to come up with a plan to stop what he is doing.

Fantastic, worth the wait.

Fav chapter yet. Fall of Wall Maria got overthrown as the most depressing event in the series for me.

Favourite line in AOT :"SIT DOWN"

I don't want it to end, but I am very happy about the direction the manga is going.

I felt for eren

This chapter was legendary, it hit all the right notes for finally giving Eren's POV. The shot of child Eren above the clouds will go down as one of the best panels ever... also Eren's line about "disappointment"... fantastic it gave me chills.

I find ‘the cycle of revenge’ storyline tiring. I’ve seen it so many times before and there isn’t anything new being covered here. I just feel tired and sad honestly. My last (and probably unfulfilled) hope for the series would be for Levi to make it through this, work things out with Zeke without violence and be able to move on in his life. He could help the survivors of the rumbling and reestablish civilization, maybe open his tea shop, see the world, maybe fall in love. I don’t really care. I just want to see my boy alive and doing okay for himself. A ridiculous thought for this series, I know. With 3-4 chapters left I feel we will most likely just be left in a misery marinara. I’m soaking in it right now.

I have too many thoughts on this chapter, I wouldn't know where to begin

i wanted him to save ramzi, but i didnt at the same time?? i was glad he didnt spare him, but im sad he didnt?? i dont know why

I just want everything to end already

i just want the best ending for all characters, esp Eren.

I like how Isayama is pushing the cognitive dissonance that i have of what side i should choose.....he is really fuckin with me at this point. All the thinking has now made me kinda numb

I like Isayama drawing birds and see the art improvement through the chapters :D I announce August is the Eek Appreciation Month dedicated to the Wings of Freedom! EEEEEEEEEEEK

I like that it pretty much ended the discussion of Eren having other plans. He's been totally honest the entire time. If he had other plans, why'd he put his friend in danger by having them fight against him?

for real had to pause for a bit at many points in this chapter lmao

Maybe this is why he never talked to his friends- he didn't care about discussing what's right for them, he just wanted his FrEeDoM and would walk over children to get it.

Glad to see Armin and Annie being cute, they deserve a few moments of happiness.

Glad to see Eren’s thoughts and feelings about the rumbling. There are a lot of loose ends that I was hoping to have some answers for in this chapter but it didn’t happen in this chapter, which just made me more intrigued.

Glad to see that Eren's uncaring exterior was finally dispelled this chapter

God I can't see this ending good and I just really want this to be over soon. Never rooted as much for an MC to die as now.

Which of the following best describe how you feel about the rumbling?  Pointless, it won't achieve anything.

while i find aruani cute i still find it weird since she literally was crying the previous chapter. i was disappointed that we didn't get to see all the alliance

Why tf is Ymir in the realworld!?

WHENS MAHVEL

SS ARUANI GONNA RUMBLE THE SHIP HARDER THEN EREN RUMBLED THOSE POOR CHILDREN, TAKE THAT NONBELIEVERS no really, this was built up from s1, and they have wonderfully complementing personalities. Sad that half the fandom gets triggered from any het ship (and vice versa)

Crack theory: Eren has two personalities which is why he acts in contradictory ways. The "evil" nature is in kid Eren and the "good" nature is in the bird. There is no consciousness in his actual body anymore.

Genocide route best route

Way better than the last chapter. 130 was just good art and shipping bait which felt like it was forced for the sake of the end of a volume. This chapter was amazing and balanced its multiple purposes effortlessly, as opposed to the clunky nature of the previous chapters. Probably the best chapter since Ymir's backstory. I love how Armin tied into it, we haven't seen he and Eren's shared dream brought up for a while, as it had faded into background despite being such a driving force for both characters before the timeskip.

I was sure that the dichotomy between Eren's motivations was clearly between his friends/the people he wants freedom for, and his own quest to soothe the anger he has in his heart. Essentially is he doing this for love or hate. Yet we get a third motivation introduced this chapter, of him achieving his child self's dream of freedom in a wall-less world, and what do you know it's tied into "that scenery/that sight", Isayama you genius. What does this mean about those other motivations, though? Is everything false and it's just what Eren is telling himself? What's the lie? What's the truth? What to believe…

It might just be because Eren subconsciously called to Armin. So if more memories surface, more characters can talk with him potentially.

Time loop theory!

Timey Wimey P A T H S shenanigans.

Even if I'm not surprised, it's disappointing to see how Eren is the worst Jaeger after all. He used to make bad decisions trying to help "humanity", but now he just thinks he's right, when not even half of Paradis agrees with his ideas.

I hate Eren from the bottom of my heart. He's disgusting, a total piece of shit. And I love Isayama for giving me all these feelings. He's the real GOAT here.

Really made me wish Isayama hadn't gone for the ~mystery~ of Eren becoming the villain and had instead at least given us the flashbacks in chronological order. The way this long-awaited PoV reveal has been done has felt so clunky and awkward.

I honestly don't understand those who used to support the Rumbling but no longer do after this chapter; maybe they are the same kind of people that romanticized Omnicide and kept defending it as the  "morally correct thing to do"  and that they "would most certainly do it"  if they were in Eren's shoes... Until the reality hit them and all of their posturing like a bag of bricks - i.e. the typical edgy keyboard warrior.

As a pro-Rumbling fan, I always knew this was the expected outcome; if anything this chapter was everything I hoped that Isayama would show to us because it once and for all disproved the idea that Eren has a plan beyond the Rumbling. A Lelouch ending (which I hope doesn't happen) can still be pulled, but its not something that Eren is actively working torwards, but the end result if the alliance somehow stops him.

rumbling go brrrrrrrr

Zeke is controlling the bird with his beast Titan ability that he learnt from the paths realm

"what will my mother think of me?" Ashamed of you, eren, duh.

I really can't feel sorry for eren when this is ultimately the choice he made. There were always other choices up until the point where he killed many world leaders in his attack on Marley.

A bit sappy but understandable. From a egoist point of view Eren is justified in his actions, but of course this just reaffirms the Eldians "monstrous" nature to them. The Eldians dont have a realistic out unless the titans are truly gone forever if Eren loses. Curious about the birds.

A freckled girl appeared. That's progress.

BRUTAL.

Also what about the Eldians living outside of Paradis Island? IMO they are the ones suffering the most

Can he even be stopped?

Can people stop saying that because you enjoy the direction of the story that you’re a genocide supporter? I like shooter games too but I’m obviously not going to go kill anyone, everyone needs to chill out with the moral policing, you sound like the Tipper Gore crowd. Is the rumbling justified? No, but it’s a great direction for the story and it was inevitable once it was established what was in the walls. Chekhov’s gun had to go off sometime, I’m actually surprised how many people seem to be agonizing over this.

Can't put it into words how amazing AOT has become and is just stepping over each level taking one step at a time !!!

Can't wait till next one

Changed the opinion of many people on eren's genocide

Chapter confirmed Eren is NOT the father

Cruel just like the world

This chapter re-assured me that that first scene of Mikasa is the moment she says goodbye to a dying Eren.

Damn bro it’s great

Dang. When this is animated, I guarantee a lot of youtubers and just the anime fandom in general will think this is the best series of all time.

Eren is one of the best MCs of all time.

Eren is one of the most tragic characters on manga

Eren is the best protagonist

Eren is the GOAT but is also wrong and needs to die real soon

EREN IS THE GOATTTT. AOT IS THE GOATTTT. ISAYAMA IS THE GOATTTT.

Eren is truly the best developed main character from any shonen series, this chapter made my mind.

Eren loses it, again

great job Isayama. well done you madman

Great painfull chapter, Eren having a breakdown Made me so sad and depressed,  I wish him to achieve freedom

Greatest manga of all time

greatest piece of fiction of our generation

Hange is right, this is not an acceptable solution

I cried while reading it no joke

I don't even know what to say about Eren. Sure, this chapter is showing his guilt, but that definitely does NOT justify his actions. EXPLAIN YOURSELVES, YEAGERISTS, EREN STANS!!!!!! (sorry I'm just angry about him)

I still think there needs to be a twist, because for me the character development still doesn't work. Eren and Historia have both forgotten common sense and do awful stupid things for stupid, hollow (plot) reasons, and the 104th this entire arc have both become somewhat useless and self-righteous at the convenience of the author. I don't care if the whole arc happened this way just because clearly Isayama wants to have the rumbling as the last arc, but if this was his objective he should have been more focused on character consistency and less on the mystery of it all. It still all feels less like the choices of actual characters than plot convenience, and it gives me the same sensation of the Serumbowl, which I thought was the nadir of the series.

If truly there's won't be some last minute twist it's just bad character writing in service of a plot decided in advance. Same with Historia and the 104th. Who cares about character consistence? Not Isayama, apparently

For some reason Eren wants Armin to the what his is doing.

Honestly, of all the characters Armin is the last I'd want succeding in stopping Eren. Let Mikasa have the spotlight, damn it.

Beautiful pain

Beautifully drawn but very gory

a person can gladly become a devil or a god if he has to, for justice.

A truly sad and terrifying chapter. I never understood how anyone could support this. Don't get me wrong. I understand plotwise why it had to happen. I knew Isayama would show us this. This part was unavoidable for the story he's trying to tell. Doesn't mean I have ever supported it, or that I ever will. But hey at least Aruannie is cannon, so that's a silver linning to this absolutely horrible chapter.

PS. I never wanted to punch a fictional character in the face as much as I want to punch Eren's. Alas, he's not real and I will never get the satisfaction of doing that.

Adding onto child eren's freedom panel, i believe it represents the idea of freedom he had wished for before he was betrayed by the world itself.

All hail the mad king

All that suffering, for what. You won but at what cost

IT MAKES MY HEAD SPIN AND THE FORSHADOWING BUILD UP TO THIS CHAPTER IS JUST *chefs kiss*

It really shows that Attack On Titan isn’t an ordinary story. It is a storyline filled with emotions, tragedies and somehow the cruel reality that this world possesses.

It shifted through a lot of POVs, it was pretty good.

It showed the rumbling and Eren in much more impartial way.

It was crazy to finally see in Eren's Head but all it did was confirm the things I was thinking for awhile and put me more on his side.At this point I'm ride or Die Eren Yaeger just so I can see how this all ends.

It was good, but I wish we would've gotten more with the rest of the crew going to Marley.

Listen, I really love Eren, I have deeply felt for him. I still do, I relate too much with his own traumas but since the timeskip. I have distanced myself from him and I don't and have never supported on his stance for genocide because he set this up with Zeke and pushed Marley to go into war while they didn't want it in the first place. However I have too much of a strong emotional connection to him so I understand him and I admit, it made me doubt a little bit on some of my stances. Since Eren is so different from who he was back before the timeskip, I have always assumed and the manga has not proved me wrong, that he's being influenced by something or someone which is feeling on his traumas, anger, depression and dissapointments. So I am still extremely optimistic about him.

Jesus Fucking Christ

its funny how the dream dies with reality

Its great to finally get some of Erens thoughts but it’s just made me think he’s not acc the one in control

My tears create a whole new ocean.

no opinion really, chapter felt kinda flat and repetitive in parts

Alliance supporters learning that Eren is suffering with all this shit and isn't trash and pitiful like their hypocrite babies who were genociding their own people in the last 32 volumes.

Amazing. The way Eren developed from this angsty little child to someone who's willing to kill everyone to achieve his childhood dream and save his pals is truly wonderful.

Rumbling go wee

I found it tragically ironic that Eren just has a passing thought of what his mom would think of his actions, and it reminds me of how he wouldn’t listen to her when he was younger. Do you think this is a subtle indication that Eren hasn’t matured from the thought processes of a selfish boy, or does he truly hold weight and more consideration to what his mother (and other people) would think? Personally, I think he is more aware of outside views, but just refuses to accept that reality because he is so stuck on his own desires.

It's one of the pivotal scenes because atleast I know that within Eren he still at somepoint have consicience and shows that at somepoint he can be stopped.

Rumbling goes rumble

Eremin <3

Yams makes me confused! I dunno!

Collosal Titans go brr

CONFUSING IN WAY TOO MANY PARTS!!! where to start or stop... from ymir to bird to child eren is all confusing af but nice :)

Depression and depression

Did we really need to spend that many pages on that AruAni BS? So much for fucking 5% being left.

Dis gon be good

Let's get the final confrontation underway!

Welp, there is absolutely no defying it: Eren is the big bad and there is no secret plan to make it up.

Let’s get ready to RUUUUUUUUMBLE!

LETS FUCKING GOOO

Levi and Hange convo when? Armin and Annie end of the world sex when? Jean confessing to Mikasa when? Floch suprise killing Connie or Jean when? Floch getting thrown over board to die at sea rather than being shot when?

LOLZ at anyone still defending the rumbling after this chapter portraying it as something heroic or justifiable

Make me feel. Make me feel more.

Man, this is rough.

Overall well rounded chapter. Time to get back to alliance and Historia after this though.

Poor Eren. But I kind of understand.

Ppl who are calling Eren GOAT or saying they were only sad in this chapter bc Eren cried are legit psychopaths.

Seeing Eren’s POV and reasoning behind pursuing the rumbling makes me feel for him. We know he cares about his friends, paradis, etc. I am at a loss of words for this chapter. However I will say this, Armin in paths with Eren is not a coincidence. I think isayama is foreshadowing of a conversation THEY’VE ALREADY HAD, and what’s to come..

Isayama is being stingy about letting his characters talk to each other properly. I mean really how many scenes do we have left on this boat while the rumbling goes on? When there’s still so much to be said. Wasted chapter imo, a lot more could’ve been said and done.

E+H=Y

Eren confirmed that he will kill everyone. The rumbling cannot be stopped.

Even though we have gotten some insight on Eren's pov, it has created more questions than answers. His motives are still very confusing and we are still being kept in the dark

Every chapter update makes me sad :( the story has gotten so tragic and i love it but oof. I didnt think it could get sadder but Isayama proves me wrong every month

Every new released chapter is better than the last one. I love these series. Props to mr. Hajime Isayama 💪🏆

Exactly what we needed, have more faith now.

Exceeded my expectations. The last two chapters were mindblowing after a slow mini Arc at the port. Isayama can really pull ar your heartstrings with flashbacks and Eren's pov.

Thanks Isayama for the microscopic eremin crumbs

that kid eren scene though... easily the best scene the series so far

That was damn perfect

That was f***ing amazing and awful at the same time. I want this series to end, but actually no. Keep going Isayama. You crazy motherf***er.

the "beyond the walls" talk between armin and eren is being brought up again and im emotional now thx

The ending's gonna disappoint people, no matter how well/badly it's executed. Chapter was cool, but overhyped imo

The pacing seems slow, but then again, it was recently nodded to that the manga won't end at Chapter 134 or 135 but 136. And Isayama does have everything planned out for a long time. I don't think he'll disappoint.

the significance of many things in the story are too epic, carla and mikasa look alike, grisha and eren look alike, historia and dina even look alike, the repeating actions, along with the intricate history formed, give us a lot to speculate but nothing to confirm.

I am somewhat sad for eren, to see the point that he has reached by having that freedom that he longed for so much but that I hardly think exists is sad, I don't know how the hell this is going to end but hey I don't know

I can't even begin to imagine how this is going to look in the anime. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

I can't imagine how the manga will end in a few chapters

I can't wait for 132.

I can’t believe this

I can’t wait to see this chapter voice acted, holy shit.

I loved the context that Eren's apology provides, really gives some much needed insight on his thoughts about the future during the timeskip

I need him to talk to mikasa and armin!

On this poll, I noticed that there's nothing about Mikasa haha. I want her to have a moment for the next chapter, or appear on Eren's memories. We know she's gonna be playing a big role for this arc.

I like where the story is going and I can’t wait for the anime so I can show AOT to everyone.

I think Eren is going somewhere. If he wanted to rumble the world, he can control the titans even from the safety of Paradis. I think he is going to that tree under which Ymir fell.

I think it focuses on Eren a bit too much. Maybe show us some Levi? Thank you.

i think reiner is gay

I am currently not taking a side. Not with Eren or with the Yeagerists or with our heroes. I'm just here to see how it all goes down and how Isayama wants to play it out. I've been enjoying every single chapter and being so moved it's insane. F the ship wars and the bs, this story is much more than that. And tragedy is written all over it. Ok brb getting my tissues prepared for next chapter.... 👍

I don't know how many more issues we're going to have but I worry that the story is going to come to a screeching halt and leave too many questions unanswered. Isayama has got so many plates spinning, narratively speaking, I have no idea how he is going to finish them or if he'll finish them at all.

Just a series of gut-punches one after the other after every panel, oof this chapter affected me more than any other. It also made me wonder about how the planet in general would be affected.  Like how would ecosystems change?  Will Eren only go after the civilized countries and then stop?  Or will he not let a single person survive outside the island and just actually steamroll the whole planet?  If he does, wouldn't that change climates and stuff?  What's about the animals and plants? Am I thinking too much about this? How will the drastic changes affect the Paradisians? All this assuming the alliance doesn't manage to stop him (which is likely)

although initially him and reiner seemed to pursue the same path, eren initial motive was to wipe them all and he said it multiple times, I don't believe he has guilt nor remorse because "it was all set from the very start"

We also got a seamless reintegration of the theme of what it means to be a "good person", something both Armin and Annie have grappled with as far back as Female Titan arc, and it's great to see it re-emerge in the context of the rumbling. Annie is an underrated character. Isayama could have had her come back with some bullshit royal blood or daughter-of-Kruger twist, but instead he decides to integrate her into the conflict as her own person and make her a more interesting character than Reiner (sorry Soul).

Eren is allowed to have emotions, he should be able to feel terrible about himself for having to wipe out most of humanity. But he also believes that this is the only way. He begged Hange if there was another way, he WANTED an option that didn't end with the world being rumbled. When Hange had no ideas, and no else had a plan that would keep Paradis safe, he felt like he had to move forward, towards freedom.

Eren is neither right or wrong in his decision. Killing innocents, destroying entire ecosystems and ending human civilization is morally bankrupt. In many ways his plan is short sighted, but when I say this, my stance comes from a logical standpoint rather than a moral one(the political instability of the island, the precedent it sets, the danger he put his friends in). The *most* moral thing to do was a partial rumbling(there are still some issues both logistical and moral) and while 2 wrongs don’t make a right, I hold Marley and many other nations equally at fault for not being willing to end this diplomatically. Their scorched earth policy brought this on. It’s unfortunate that their citizens are paying the price for their governments crimes. But you can’t threaten to wipe out an entire civilization with no negotiation and not expect a desperate response like a full rumbling. This doesn’t absolve eren of responsibility of his actions, but the rumbling is an extremely unfortunate even that was 100% avoidable if diplomacy had been an option.

Eren, no! That’s all I can say at this point! Armin please, I’m begging you, stop your mans.

Eren, what the fuck?

Eren's self pity doesn't change the fact that he's killing millions of innocents and he's not going to stop despite it.

Eren’s guilt over his actions doesn’t mean a thing considering he’s still doing it. The fact that he saw the future and did nothing to stop it (and actively made it happen) makes him even worse. I don’t feel sorry for him in the slightest.

Even though Eren has the skeletal structure as an (I don't even know.. turkey/bird.. eh...) people are still going to simp the shit out of him on twitter, like jfc-

Eren wanted to destroy all life outside paradis not because he wanted outside world to be just a wonderland of blazing fire , grasslands etc. but because the people outside are making it impossible enough for him to realise his dream of total freedom

I would like to add that AruAni scene was, in my opinion, really important for both armin and Annie character development, since they're having a romance scene with the theoretically enemy (armin is from paradis and Annie is from Marley). I think this represent well that people from Marley and people from Eldia can live together, without violence. (I wish I could write more, but English is not my first language)

I'm glad we're finally getting things more thoroughly from Eren's perspective. Up until now, his motivations and thoughts have mostly been discussed by other characters, but we finally get to hear from him directly. This chapter mostly confirmed what I suspected, that Eren isn't heartless, but he was also a tragic character that was perfectly aware of the destruction he was about to bring upon so many people. Overall really good, can't wait for the next chapter, whatever it may be.

I'm happy that Isayama made clear what an egoist and violent nature  Eren always had, since he was a child: he's not an hero, not an avenger and surely not the "chad goat" some teen edgelords think.

I'm literally shaking so hard rn

The wall titans were always an obvious metaphor for "what if Japan had WMDs", but in this chapter this is made even more obvious when there is nothing left from migrant children but two dark kid-shaped splatters on the ground, which is a pretty clear visual reference to citizens of Hiroshima leaving nothing but scorched silhouettes behind when the atomic bombing happened.

Ironically, there was a popular twitter thread this week about the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and despite not being very familiar with the topic itself, I was somewhat amused to find the arguments in the comments to be very familiar. It's payback, it's to prevent future war, it was justified because of Japanese government's war crimes, Japanese citizens were indoctrinated and racist and would NEVER give up fighting foreigners so bombings were a mercy, it's collateral damage, etc etc.

The warriors deserve much better than being used as props.

There's 99% chance this series is getting a downer ending

They had it coming. The world was warned yet they still provoked him so much. I feel for Eren..

What is the most disappointing thing is how selfish and unreasonable mankind can be. So much hatred between so many people and nations, the world of Attack on Titan is a cursed one. So much blood spilled everywhere, and why? Is it because it's justice? Or is it because it's mother nature? Or is it because mankind is known for bloodshed and selfishness? So much hatred has blinded people, they no longer care to listen for the reason. Nothing matters to them, just their goals. All of this pointless conflict when people can simply try to speak up, try to understand each other, simply make bonds. If people could only live with a bit more empathy... All we can do is hope that so many deaths will have any meaning. Or perhaps Genocide/omnicide never had any meaning... Perhaps all of this was pointless strife.

This chapter confirmed Uri's predictions during his conversation with Kenny by the river. It remains to be seen now whether the alliance will be able to stop eren. I am sad for the world and for Ramzi and his brother. The pictures were horrible to watch (Isayama is very good at drawing emotions).

i'm...so very tired

I’m freakin cryin i need someone to hold me

Slowly, everything is coming back in its place. I am super dedicated at this point to the manga and I just hope Isayama is gonna be able to reach the perfect conclusion for such all these years of construction.

So Eren is a fish Titan...?

Still pro-rumble

Such a tragedy this whole story is. Really heartbreaking to witness. But so meticulously done and masterfully written.

Somebody said, maybe Eren and Zeke were actually fighting or going on memory journey schmuck in the Paths currently, that's why Eren is sleeping and automatically runs the titan on the outside.

If zeke didn’t pull this shit up in the first place none of this wouldn’t happen

Starting to reconsider the time-loop theory being wrong. Everything is literally coming full circle.

Isayama youre a genius but you love seeing us hurt and confused dont you 😭😭😭

It bothered me how surprised people were that Eren did the rumbling and it was sad.  He's been saying he was gonna do it for ages, and now he is.  What's with the surprised pikachu fandom?

Jesus Christ everyone needs therapy

Please end this story with happy ending!

[starwarsnonsense]

Best Films of 2019 (So Far)

It’s that time of year again! As most of my followers probably know, I’m an avid cinema-goer beyond Star Wars. I also quite enjoy making lists, so what’s better than a combo of the two? Below, I run down my top 10 films of 2019 so far - please note that this list is based on UK cinema release dates, so some of these films were 2018 releases elsewhere.

What are your favourites so far from this year? Let me know in replies/asks!

Honourable mentions: Toy Story 4, Long Shot, Aladdin, Alita: Battle Angel & The Kid Who Would Be King

1. The Favourite, dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

This completely wowed me - it features a trio of magnificently compelling female characters (played by Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone) operating at the court of Queen Anne (Colman is Anne, Weisz and Stone are courtiers), and is focused solely on the shifting sands of the power dynamics between them. The script is savage without sacrificing poignancy, witty without ceasing to be genuine. And while I’ve seen some react to this film as a comedy (and it certainly has laughs, most of which are closely tied to shock), for me it was very clearly a drama about the inscrutable and complicated relationships that exist between women. Specifically, it is about how those relationships run the gamut from sincere affinity to ruthless manipulation. This is an amazing movie, and it also has the best use of an Elton John song in 2019 (sorry, Rocketman!).

2. Midsommar, dir. Ari Aster

I went into this film with reservations, since I wasn’t a huge fan of Hereditary (by the same director), which I found to have extraordinary moments but iffy execution overall. This movie, however, wowed me, and I am still uncertain as to whether this or The Favourite is my top film of 2019 so far (fortunately, this gives me a good excuse to watch Midsommar three or four times in cinemas). While marketed as a freaky cult horror film, the director has described it as a fairy tale, which is the level on which is spoke to me. Midsommar follows Dani (an incredible Florence Pugh), a young woman who has suffered a terrible loss, as she travels with her boyfriend and his friends to a pagan festival in the Swedish countryside. Dani is painfully isolated, and her grief is hers to shoulder alone since her boyfriend is un-receptive and distinctly unprepared to help her. Over the course of the film, destruction and creation are conflated in ways that are frequently beautiful and horrific at the same time - this film spoke to me on a profound level, and the way it ended gave me a sense of incredible catharsis. This won’t be for everyone, for I found it to be a deeply special film and I can’t recommend it enough.

3. One Cut of the Dead, dir.  Shinichirou Ueda

While I went into The Favourite with high expectations given the talent involved, I went into this with no expectations whatsoever - and what a treat it was! One Cut of the Dead is easily one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in ears, taking what initially seems like a trite concept (a crew is filming a zombie movie at a desolate location ... only to discover that the zombies are real!) and twisting it in a truly ingenious way. The comedy is often of the broad variety, but it is consistently delightful and always manages to avoid becoming crass - the movie even has some really sweet family dynamics at the centre of it, which gives it some real emotional heft. The success of this film is heavily reliant on a major twist that occurs part-way through, so the best advice I can give you is to stay as far away from spoilers for this one as possible - go in blind, and you will be amply rewarded for your faith.

4. The Farewell, dir. Lulu Wang

I saw this following a wave of festival hype, so while I was excited I was also a bit apprehensive (since I have been burned by the aforementioned festival hype before). Thankfully, my doubts were blown away as this turned out to be just as wonderful as the early reviews had suggested. It’s a personal story about a young Asian-American woman (Awkwafina) struggling to reconcile her heritage with her current situation and values - specifically, she is tested when her grandmother is diagnosed with terminal cancer and the wider family make the decision to hide the truth from her. The Farewell does a fantastic job of generating empathy for all the different perspectives and positions in play, but it’s truly anchored by Awkwafina’s amazingly nuanced and tender performance - basically, anyone who’s ever loved a grandparent should leave this feeling incredibly moved and inspired. The themes of The Farewell are both specific to the Asian-American experience and general to anyone who has struggled with maintaining bonds over a vast distance, whether physical or cultural.           

5. Booksmart, dir. Olivia Wilde

God, how I wish I’d had this movie as a teenager! While Booksmart has a cliched premise - two high-achieving teens decide to have one wild night before graduation - it tells the story in an incredibly charming and impressively creative way (I won’t spoil it, but let me just say this - that scene with the Barbies!). As someone who was an awkward nerd with no discernible social life in high school (as you Americans call it), I found this portrayal of that peculiar limbo period very sensitive and thoughtful - it doesn’t mock or shame its heroines for being studious, and it allows them to have limits and step back from situations that make them uncomfortable. It also serves as a beautifully honest portrait of a friendship, depicting the qualities that bring people together in friendship together in the first place, as well as the forces that can break people apart. This is a very accomplished debut from Wilde, and it makes me very excited to see where she goes next as a director.

6. A Private War, dir. Matthew Heineman

This was a very suspenseful and tightly focused film about an extraordinary woman, and the film soars on the strength of Rosamund Pike’s incredible performance as Marie Colvin. She provides piercing insights into the psyche of a person so driven to pursue truth and enact change that she loses all concern for her own wellbeing - it’s simultaneously a portrait of heroism and obsession, and it’s impressive for how it handles the ambiguity inherent in Colvin’s choices. She’s exceptionally brave, but the film is unflinching in depicting the costs of her bravery. It left me feeling inspired to learn more about Colvin’s life and work, and I still need to watch the documentary Under the Wire to get more insight into the real story behind the film.

7. Fighting With My Family, dir. Stephen Merchant

This is the year of Florence Pugh - she killed it in Midsommar, and she is just as fantastic here. If anything, Fighting With My Family and Midsommar make great complements as they serve as fantastic showcases for Pugh’s range as an actor. While her character in Midsommar is fragile and vulnerable, Fighting With My Family is a platform for her strength and comedic skill. As Paige, Pugh is instantly likable and compelling - I don’t give a damn about any form of wrestling, but this film (and Pugh specifically) did a fantastic job of drawing me in and making me root for Paige’s struggle to prove herself as a legitimate force in wrestling. This is a real underdog story, and Pugh did a wonderful job as the Cinderella of the WWE.

8. Apollo 11, dir. Todd Douglas Miller

My dad has always been crazy about the space program, but I hadn’t picked up the bug myself. That changed after I watched this extraordinary documentary, which brought the Apollo 11 mission to vivid life. The footage that’s used for this documentary is extraordinarily crisp, and some moments are vividly powerful - the crew getting into their spacesuits, the swirl of fire surrounding the moment of takeoff, and the journey of the spacecraft towards the moon. It left me feeling moved and touched by human potential, especially when you remember that this all happened 50 years ago when the available technologies were so fragile and primitive. I also loved how the footage was allowed to speak for itself, with no voiceover or exposition - it’s a must-see for anyone who’s ever looked up at the stars and wondered about reaching them.

9. High Life, dir. Claire Denis

This movie is second to only Midsommar in terms of how weird it is. I saw this in a Hungarian cinema while on holiday, which made for a disorientating experience in itself. While the meaning of the film is quite elusive and I’m sure that many people will find viewing it a uniquely frustrating experience, I appreciated how it created a hothouse environment that brought out some of the ugliest aspects of humanity. Robert Pattinson was great as what comes closest to amounting to our protagonist, though he is as inscrutable and inaccessible as the film itself. I can’t quite pin down why I liked this one so much, but I know I did and it made me want to seek out more of Claire Denis’ work. 

10. Free Solo, dir. Jimmy Chin & Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi

It’s tragic that most people will only watch this documentary on a TV screen (or, so much worse, a laptop!). I was fortunate enough to see it in its full IMAX glory, and it’s rare to see any film - let alone a documentary - take such full advantage of the format. The woozy spectacle of this film is the real star, though the subject - mountain climber Alex Honnold - is also fascinating with his unnerving detachment from the magnitude of what he is setting out on. It is clearly a necessary detachment for him to be able to achieve what he achieves, but I appreciated how the filmmakers questioned it and explored its impact on his girlfriend. This is a compelling documentary, and is worth watching even if you’re not usually a fan of the genre.

[iron--spider]

Okay, I just saw FFH

I’ll say right off the bat, it was a million billion times better than Endgame, despite the lack of Tony Stark. I’m already planning on seeing it again. But I do have both positive and negative feelings, which I will discuss in full spoiler openness, under the cut.

It’s very strange. I did....I would say I liked it a lot. Almost loved it. But it also makes me feel strangely empty. I guess this links with the fact that I feel very separate from an MCU that doesn’t contain a living Tony Stark. It feels very, very weird to think he’s not alive anymore. My brain still doesn’t compute it even though I know it’s a stone cold fact, and it’s like I’ve built a glass wall between myself and this new world they’re living in. I see it, but I don’t feel like it’s the same world I’ve been in love with for eleven years. And while I can say it was a very good movie, it’s hard for me to connect with it the way I previously would have.

I’m gonna do pros and cons, and start with the cons, so I can end this post on a positive note. But I do have more pros than cons! So that’s good.

CONS:

- I know the MCU is not known for its nuance or it’s emotional content, but I would have liked a lot more personal details about Tony from Peter. We know they were close. A few lines would have done it.  - Brad. We didn’t need a love triangle, and he added nothing to the plot. - What EDITH stands for. I think I’m the only person who thinks that’s out of character. It feels like what people believe Tony is, that facade he puts on, but it’s not who he actually is. Maybe we can take it as he’s making fun of what people think of him? I don’t know, but it felt off to me. - The timing of the MJ/Peter romance. There will be more about them in the pros section, but the timing still feels wrong. I don’t know why this sudden romance needed to be the focus of this movie. I understand that he was distancing himself from his grief, but the grief felt.......barely present. It was good, when it was there, but it wasn’t there enough. I wish we had gotten more friendship between MJ and Peter, or at least a rundown of what they’d been through in the year we missed? And am I getting that right? Did a year pass? Is that what they were telling us in the beginning bit? - Going off that, I wish we had seen Peter deal with losing five years like....at all. Even a little bit, lol. He was essentially dead. That would have been an amazing focus, along with dealing with losing Tony and his want for a normal life/girlfriend. Why can’t they balance this shit? - I wanted more about the world and what was going on, obviously. But I knew we weren’t gonna get that.  - Peter shouldn’t have walked right by that one gorgeous Iron Man mural with the candles. He didn’t even spare it a glance and that was weird to me. - I really wish we had been able to see Peter’s actual face during the horrifying Iron Man illusion. I love the Spidey suits but I really wanted to see his face. - Take off your clothes scene was very uncomfortable lol, and it was even worse because PETER was uncomfortable.

PROS - Tom. Tom Tom TOM! He was just......incredible. He does so much with what he’s given, he brings everything to the next level and he’s our best Spider-Man. I can’t even say enough about him. I love his face, I love his inflections, I love how he moves, I love his expressions, I love every single thing about him. He has wonderful timing. He’s the best. - Happy. He was so great. He added to every scene he was in. I loved his interactions with Peter’s friends, especially when they were hiding with the crown jewels lol. I loved him handing it to “Nick” in the end, saying Peter would call him :) - MJ. She got so much more to do in this and it really makes me wish we had seen more of her in the first movie.  - Going off that, MJ and Peter. Despite the terrible timing of their romance, it was surprisingly cute. I really liked how MJ was softer and changed when she was alone with Peter. They felt genuine and I wasn’t expecting it and I really enjoyed it. They were sweet together. I will say I preferred when they were physically together as opposed to Peter talking to Ned/Mysterio about her. - Ned. Amazing, as always. So funny, so sweet, the best friend. I loved his and Peter’s hug. - Betty and Ned. Really funny kind of critique of teenage romance, lol. - Jake G. I wasn’t really feeling him, but then....THE TURN. He was incredible. One of his best performances, for real. - And going off that....he was so insane. So, so insane. All the music cues helped too. I don’t think Tony’s legacy or character is tarnished AT ALL because this dude was so, so cuckoo bonkers. He was ordering hits on kids and nonchalantly talking about casualties and he was just a LUNATIC. I’m not worried about Tony. And anyone who uses Beck as their source for their Tony hate? Doesn’t look good, fam. He had his crazy eyes on from the bar scene forward. Insane person. He was willing to kill all his pals. He was the worst, lol. - Annnnddd in relation to that, MJ giving Brad the business in the end and specifically using the phrase about how “Peter isn’t here to tell his side” or whatever it was. I think that totally was meant to go along with all the Tony/Beck stuff. It felt purposeful. - I liked the ‘I Will Always Love You’ tribute - The Tony murals in every damn city? They were gorgeous. I hope they release images of those because I wanna see them lol. He was so loved. - I’m glad they had May talk about ‘blipping’ back into her apartment and someone else was living there. They actually addressed something! - Peter having a panic attack at the beginning when Tony was mentioned? Really good. Really sad. - I like that Tony trusted Peter enough to give him the glasses. It shows just how much he trusted him. And this is nothing like project insight, because Tony isn’t Pierce. He has good intentions. It is for protection. People need to chill, lol. Peter was acting like a bit of a moron on the bus, but I believe by he end he has a handle on it and will be much, much better about it. Him jumping out of the bus and destroying the drone was cool. - Bar scene was really good. I know Peter saw Tony in Beck when he put on the glasses :( And his self doubt is so painful. Tony had such trust in him and Peter just can’t believe it. HURTS. - The illusion scene had such magnificent visuals. I want to see it again in 3D, but it was awesome. I said earlier I wanted to see Tom’s face, but he did a great job with all his body movements. He’s just so great, lol. - Iron Man zombie shook me, made me jump, got me upset. As did Mysterio’s taunting in that moment. What an asshole. - I liked the “stakes” in terms of how Peter got so, so messed up in this movie. Poor thing. He was still limping in the scene at the airport! Seeing him get hit by the train was so hard. - The plane scene was my favorite part of the whole movie, from the tulip field to the suit getting built. I loved the hug, Happy trying to be soft and dealing with Peter’s outburst. Peter crying, their talk, “i miss him so much”, Tony never, ever second guessing Peter. THE ONE THING. That hurts so bad lol. And Happy watching Peter make the suit, fondly, seeing Tony in him. It makes me cry thinking about it. Peter carries Tony with him always, because he’s part of him, he’s in his heart, he was his protege and even if he doesn’t believe it, Tony believed in him. He knew he was the best of them. GODDAMN THEM. I love seeing Peter and Happy interact as they did here because they really remind me of Happy and Tony. Peter’s Tony’s kid. There’s no denying it at this point. - MJ and her mace. Chef’s kiss. - The whole final battle was fucking amazing. Some of the best shit in the MCU. I loved seeing Peter get to be a BADASS, get to show his smarts and his strength and use that Spidey sense. He was amazing. - Stopping Beck from shooting him? Incredible. One of my favorite Marvel shots. I loved Peter angry and standing up for himself here. So good.  - The kisses were pretty cute. The holding hands was definitely cute. Swinging was very cute, as was how excited Peter was about it. - I really like Happy and May and I hope it goes somewhere. C’mon May! - I’m of two minds on the reveal. It pisses me off that fucker did this. He was obviously planning it and now he’s painted a target on a 16 year old’s back, and once again, anyone who tries to use him as a source is a SOCIOPATH. I feel so bad for Peter, and it makes me really sad because this would be an amazing thing for Tony to be involved with. Peter definitely needs Tony right now, and I hope SOMEONE reliable helps him. I know Happy will, but he needs a powered person too. PLEASE. I worry about where they’ll take this. It could be cool, possibly seeing him on the run, but if they have any ideas about killing May or any of his friends because of this, I’ll kill them. - Skrulls thing was funny and it also explains why Fury felt so off. SLJ did an amazing job with that, lol.

In conclusion, I really loved a lot of what they presented to me. Mostly because Tom is truly spectacular. But a world without Tony Stark will always have a certain amount of emptiness to it, and I won’t be following any other Marvel films save for Spider-Man. I’ll follow Spider-Man because I love Peter/Tom. But it’s always gonna be really painful knowing Tony is gone and they’ll never give us the amount of emotional content that we deserve when it comes to him.

But I will recommend FFH. I give it an 8/10, and I think I’ll enjoy it even more on a second viewing. For being in ‘the bad timeline’, this was a good film. 

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 02x03

Bloodlust

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Hooray more vampires

FRICK IS THAT BENNY

OH MY GOSH

*quick google later*

So, it is the same actor but this character is named Eli. I think it would’ve actually been cooler if they just kept it the same character, but this works too.

Alright, lets talk about what we learn about the boys in this episode. Firstly, it’s really weird to me that Sam and Dean are so ignorant to the Hunter community

DEAN You seem to know a lot about our family.

GORDON Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk.

DEAN No, we don't, actually.

GORDON I guess there's a lot your dad never told you, huh?

Why did John keep Sam and Dean so removed from other hunters? We know that they knew Bobby, and we also hear about other people like Pastor Jim and Deacon (although Deacon’s not a hunter) so we know that Sam and Dean grew up knowing their dad’s friends, but they never really interacted with the larger world of hunters. Maybe it’s because this wasn’t the life John wanted for his sons, maybe he felt that he should keep them away from the influence of people like Gordon, that maybe they would have a better shot at a normal life if they didn’t get too connected to the world of Hunters. Either way, it makes me feel like they must have felt very isolated growing up. We learn in season 15 that Dean did have a hunting buddy while Sam was in college (Lee) but I guess they still didn’t know much about the hunting community.

Whatever John’s reasons, during the conversation it’s clear that Dean is struggling with the memory of his father. He is aware that there is a lot their dad never told them, not only about the hunting community, but also about Sam, and Azazel’s plans for him. Dean tells this little anecdote from his teenage years to Gordon:

DEAN ... So. I pick up this crossbow. And I hit that ugly sucker with a silver-tipped arrow right in his heart. Sammy's waiting in the car, and uh, me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I'm sitting there and looking into the fire, and I'm thinking to myself, I'm sixteen years old. Most kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I'm seeing things that they'll never even know. Never even dream of. So right then, I just sort of -

GORDON Embraced the life?

When Sam was 12 he was still being told to wait in the car instead of participating in hunts. How old was Dean when he was expected to hunt? Dean was 6 or 7 when his dad took him shooting for the first time (we find out in a later episode). Just another example of how Dean was expected to grow up much faster than his brother.

When Dean tells this story, it’s evident in his face and tone that it’s not a happy memory. It seems like “embraced the life” is not the phrase Dean would have used, but something more like “accepted my fate.” This isn’t the story of 16 year old realizing he’s special, it’s one of a kid realizing he will never be normal.

This episode is another that really highlights the difference between the brothers and their approach to hunting:

DEAN What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job.

SAM No, Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil!

In fact, Sam’s differences are highlighted often throughout this episode; he says that “decapitations aren’t exactly [his] idea of a good time,” Gordon says it “doesn’t seem like you’re brothers much like us.” We are repeatedly being told that Sam is not what a hunter is supposed to be. Gordon comments on how Sam is different, implying that he and Dean are the same, and with this interaction there’s this idea that Gordon understands Dean, possibly more than Sam does.

DEAN …I can't talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well. Feel like I have this -

GORDON Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job.

He knows what it’s like to have that hole inside you. But later, when Sam and Dean are arguing, Sam says

SAM You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.

As much as Dean tries to hide it from Sam, Sam understands him. He sees the hole. It also shows that Gordon fundamentally misunderstands Dean. He advises that he use that grief to fuel his hunting, but we know that Dean has never really cared for revenge. Revenge is John and Sam’s game, but Dean is only in this for family. So where Gordon thinks the hole in Dean’s life could be filled with killing monsters, Sam knows that Dean is looking to fill that hole with family. (He says earlier that he knows Dean is trying to make Gordon a replacement for their dad). Dean wants someone older and more experienced to tell him what to do, to tell him what’s right and wrong, because that’s what he’s always had, and Sam knows that’s the hole that needs filling, not some drive for vengeance or violence or whatever Gordon thinks.

 But, there are ways that Dean sees himself in Gordon, and it scares him. We had a quote from him in Season 1 about how he scares himself sometimes, with the things he’s wiling to do, and we return to that idea in this episode; except this time he’s starting to question the whole world view he grew up with

DEAN I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up.

SAM What do you mean?

DEAN Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.

SAM Okay.

DEAN What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us...

SAM Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.

DEAN I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.

SAM You didn't kill Lenore.

DEAN No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.

SAM Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters.

This little interaction gives us a few interesting insights; first of all, we see Sam defending their dad, saying he “did the best he could” (just like one of the last things John said to Sam before he died, as I mentioned in a previous episode). We know that Sam is struggling with guilt over not having been a good enough son while his dad was alive.

Dean, on the other hand, is finally breaking out of the box John built for him. It’s interesting to me because the two brothers are in very different places. Sam has known for a long time that he disagrees with John, so it doesn’t bother him too much to realize that John could have been wrong, and that he could have had them kill things that didn’t deserve it. Dean, on the other hand, has always taken his dad’s word as gospel. He always trusted that John knew best, come whatever. So, realizing, and having proof in this episode, that not every supernatural being is inherently evil, is really throwing him. It’s a hard thing, to realize that something you have believed and acted on your whole life might not be true.

The other important thing we learn from this interaction is that Sam’s opinion matters to Dean. He trusts him. Dean admits here that he wanted to kill the vampires, but he didn’t. He set aside what he felt was right for what his brother asked him to do, placing Sam’s opinion over his own. Now we all know this isn’t always going to be the case, but in this episode at least, Dean trusted Sam’s judgement.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that Gordon killing his sister when she turned into a vampire is foreshadowing for the idea of needing to kill a loved one when they become a monster which is a very relevant theme throughout all 15 seasons of the show. 

[firestorm1991]

Writer/Reviewer Etiquette

So, I've been seeing quite a bit of negativity in all fandoms. I recently had this experience  on my birthday, no less.  Fellow writers I speak with have experienced it too, and so I'm taking time to write this message in hope that it will help.  There are rules of etiquette we as writers or reviewers should follow.

  1. Bad grammar doesn't equal a bad story.

I used to be guilty of thinking that a story with awful grammar was truly terrible.  Some actually are and you can tell when a person puts no thought into it (especially when they write in chat speak). However, as I've grown, I learned there are many reasons for poor grammar in a story, and usually the plot is still pretty amazing.

The writer could be a teenager just dipping their toes into the writing world, and teens are very impressionable.  Excessive criticism could crush a beginner so badly.

The person could have dyslexia or bad eyesight.  I discovered I was slightly dyslexic and no matter what I do, there's always a few errors even after I and others go over my work.  Some of my writer friends also suffer from dyslexia and impaired eyesight due to health issues and medications.  It doesn't stop them from writing.  

Then there are people for whom English is their second language.  I’ll bet they can still write better than some of the people who call them out on poor grammar (while said people have poor grammar in their criticisms).  Also, if you try writing in their language, I’m sure they could say the same about your grammar too.

If you notice a story with bad grammar, please don't attack your fellow writer.  If you want to do something about it, send the author a private message and ask if they need a beta.  If you don't want to beta, ignore it and just enjoy the story.  You can see how an author improves over time.  That's why they're writing. in addition to fun and stress relief.  Don't make it worse for them.

The same goes for the reviewer.  Don't attack the author.  Whether you're a reader or writer yourself, telling someone their story is awful because of “awful grammar” is only going to hurt them if they're really trying.  That young, impressionable writer may give up altogether because of unkind words.  That person trying to learn English may walk away.  There's always a better way to handle it without degrading or embarrassing a person.

2. Constructive criticism and flames are two different things.

So apparently for me and a few friends, this week is flame week.  That's why I’m bringing it up.  Everyone receives negative reviews.  That's life, and not everyone has to like everything you do.  That being said, if you don't like a story, then you don't have to read it.  If you still want to give your opinion, you're welcome to it, but please do it in a constructive manner.

If you curse at the author, attack them, and tell them they're horrible or their story is horrible, leave harassing messages on multiple projects, or are just downright nasty, that's a flame.  A flame is nothing more than a temper tantrum.

I've been asked how I deal with flames.  Usually the attack is from a guest reviewer that I cannot reply to without calling them out in public, which they want.  They want a rise out of you.  I handle this by moderating my guest reviews.  If the reviews are neutral or constructively negative, then I let them post.  If a reviewer is attacking me and being overly negative, I delete them.  Like I said, flames are temper tantrums and I don't reward that behavior.  Just don't engage, and ignore them.  They just want you to add fuel to their fire.

Most negative reviews I've received that were constructive were from another writer or user who identified themselves, and I was able to discuss issues with them.  Sometimes it was a trigger for them or sometimes they just had really good advice.  Either way, these politely constructed reviews allow writers to grow, and that's how you should construct your complaints.  "I don't like the story because of this specific reason and I don't know how I feel about it" is much better than "your story is awful" and "stories just keep getting worse and worse."

3. Don't demand updates.

Writers appreciate excitement.  "Please update soon" or "I can't wait until the next chapter" is just as good as "I'm really enjoying the story.  Nice work."  But every so often, all writers come across the review that says: "Update," usually right after they have just updated.

It probably took them a ton of time to write that 5K word chapter; weeks to months depending on life and work...or God forbid, illness.  We love reviews, but it's just rude to demand something you've just received, most of the time which we are doing for free.  If you'd like to request an update, just add a "please" to that.  It's only ONE extra word.  Thank you!

4. AUs don't mean the writer doesn't know the source material.

I've seen a lot of people get heat for AUs, which surprises me. I write a lot of AU stories, and I just recently received heat for my newest one. AU stands for “alternate universe,” and is an original story with elements from the source material.  Most of the time, there are many callbacks to the source material and a lot of world-building and character development to explain the changes.  They aren't written to be compared to the source material.  They're written for fun and to creatively mold characters we already know and love into something new.

5. If a writer changes something from the source material, it's because they like a challenge.

This isn't just for AU stories.  Sometimes even in canon stories, details can be changed.  It is fanfiction after all and, honestly, diverting from the source material isn't the worst thing.  Some writers do this to challenge themselves.  There's no need for anyone to tell them they don't know what they're doing.  This recently happened to a friend of mine, and that's why it's fresh on my mind.

6. OCs are not always awful. They can have side stories, too.

Another friend experienced this one, receiving a hateful review about focusing on an OC that most really like.  I'll admit, I'm not always a fan of OCs.  I’ve read many good and iffy OC stories.  Honestly, I've written many good and iffy OC stories.  They aren't for everyone, but that doesn’t make them any less valid. They can have backgrounds and  stories all their own, and a writer should not be berated because of it.  If you don't like it, just move on.

7. Stories about writers and the challenges they go through are not self-inserts.

Surprisingly, this was my most recent complaint with my current AU.  I was accused of writing a story all about what I “wish I could become.”  For some writers, including me, this is our hobby.  It's an outlet and very calming.  Sometimes when we characters who are writers in our stories, it's just to jokingly express the challenges we do face in writing.  No need to be nasty about it XD

8. Our stories are sometimes deeply personal.

Readers may not realize this, but writers put a little piece of their soul into each story they write.  Some may be self-inserts, but most are not.  Sometimes we use our own life experiences in the story, mainly because it's what we know, but also to offer support and help to someone who may be going through the same things.

So, before you plan to write a hateful remark or two, you may want to think about what the writer may have endured the reason the story exists - and don't get mad if we're projecting on your favorite character.  Trust me; the character development will be much better with patience.  You may even get insight on how to better deal with someone suffering from a particular issue (e.g. grief, depression, health issues).

9. If you don't like a story, give a reason why.

Normally, I say the oldie but goodie: if you don't like it then don't read it, but some people really can't keep their opinions to themselves.  That's fine.  We do have freedom of speech and everything is entitled to their opinion.  But, writers have a right to constructive feedback.  Saying "you suck, your story sucks, and I don't like it" isn't really constructive.

If you don't like a story, give us a reason.  If it moves too slow, the writer needs to know that so they can speed it up.  If there's a plot point you find disturbing, the author needs to know so they can put a warning somewhere in the story.  If you just don't like it, say there's something about it you don't like and that it's not your cup of tea; that's fine.  There's plenty of ways to let us know your opinion without being rude about it.

10 . Respond to all reviews if you can, but don't react to bad ones.

This is mainly for writers.  It's polite to respond to all reviews, even the one-word ones.  You can write a simple "thank you" to those ones.  I usually give back what I receive.  You can acknowledge guests in your chapters either individually, collectively, or simply thank everyone who read and reviewed.

That being said, if someone is being particularly aggressive or hurtful in a review, you can ignore them.  You may think it's rude, but as I said; give what you get.  If they're rude to you first, don't fire back. Leave it and let them wallow and wait.  They're undeserving of your time and mental health.  If it's just a negative response without insults or aggression, you can respond and say that you're sorry they feel that way, but you stand by your story and wish them well in finding another one.

11. Don't be arrogant.

Everyone has different styles.  Writers have different levels of vocabulary, different ideas.  Some stories may be better than others.  Be humble about it.  You can be proud of your work, but never use it as a way to lessen someone else's.

12. Don't cause drama.

It happens everywhere in life as it is.  A lot of us are looking for an escape from the drama in our lives.  We are trying to do our best and make connections with others who love the same couples, books, and stories we do.  We're not looking for more angst.  So before you start causing problems for another person, not just a writer but anyone, rethink it.  Some people may crave drama, but they can look for it elsewhere.

13. Be kind.

I can't believe I have to say this one, but it's necessary.  I've witnessed so many in the writing world being trashed and feeling awful.  Just be nice to each other!

Writing is supposed to be a fun way to express ourselves. It takes a lot of time, effort, and will.  The writing community is large with different personalities.  We may not all like what we read or get along with everyone.  This is life, not grade school, and we should treat each person the way we want to be treated.

If something about this post resonated with you then reblog it, and if you can think of any other topics I might have missed, add to it.  Let's spread proper etiquette around.  It's just common courtesy.  Thanks, everyone! ^^

[karenpage]

you’re honest. you never lie to me

an essay (?)  about Karen Page + the importance of the truth.

I’m going to preface this with yes, I ship Kastle, but a lot of the details, the facts and the principles that will be shared throughout this post are some of the primary reasons I do, and not intended to necessarily change people’s perspectives to their own romantic pairings. 

We’re going to open with Daredevil s1, where it all began.

The introduction of Karen’s character is flanked by ‘guilt’ by ‘the truth’ and what it means depending on where you’re standing when you look at it. She’s framed for murder (an ultimate act of dishonesty), because she was investigating the truth - she lost her job, lost everything, in her pursuit of what was actually happening behind the smoke and mirrors of Union Allied. And at this point, it just looked like money being moved around, which, while illegal and immoral, wasn’t as violently criminal as say, organized drug trafficking and gang-related violence (like the Italians or Kitchen Irish). 

She relies on Matt and Foggy trusting her. She relies on that blind faith. And the few times Karen lies to them (and she does lie initially) was rooted in her paranoia. Her fear. Especially when you continue further on and she’s almost killed in her holding cell, and she doesn’t know who to turn to, who she can place her trust in.

Enter: Daredevil. (that’s a fine looking high horse)

He’s representative of good, working along the margins of the law (vigilante justice), but it is absolute. Of course, she has no way of knowing the shape of his moral code, but he’s the first person shown to save Karen so she latches onto that ideal fiercely. A continued theme of her thinking that Daredevil is the end all be all; he’s saved her, he does what’s ‘right’, or at least what the man beneath the mask believes to be.

Karen’s story arc through the entirety of season 1 is the pursuit of truth. It starts with Union Allied. It starts with Ben Urich. And then it twists into the guilt of Karen feeling the weight of the truth she unearths - doing what’s right, what’s just, starts to come at an incredibly high price. Karen’s life is threatened ROUTINELY, and she persists. She doesn’t stop. 

I don’t think it’s necessarily a death wish so much as it is: people have died on this journey and to stop? To give up because she’s scared? Would be an insult to them directly.

And then she’s at the business end of a gun. And then she’s got so much blood on her hands she can’t breathe. 

We now know (with the release of dds3), that Wesley wasn’t the first person she shot. That Karen Page has always been perfectly capable of handling herself but Wesley’s death is important in the shift of her reality.

It isn’t black & white any longer. 

Because self-defense has a very narrow threshold and while her life would continue to be in direct danger if James Wesley was allowed to live, right then, and after the first shot into his shoulder, he wasn’t an immediate threat. 

Karen emptied the clip into him and buried that trauma, that guilt, way down deep. 

But his isn’t the first life she’d taken. It isn’t the first ghost that sits in her shadow.

So why is Karen so interested in the absolute truth, every inch of it laid bare even if it makes her look bad? Even if it’s ugly?

Cut to Daredevil s3e10: Karen.

After two seasons of Daredevil and one season of The Punisher teasing the tragedy of Karen Page’s backstory, we’re given insight into what’s clearly a defining set of circumstances for her later behavior, for her grief.

Karen made bad choices, and bad things happened; her brother dies in an accident caused by her addiction, by her abusive boyfriend and it’s an absolute, soul-rending ache that we see reflected throughout her adulthood thereafter.

But her dad, a man who had no sense of responsibility, culpability, let his denial of their circumstances make decisions for them and was emotionally abusive -- he took away her ability to grieve. Her ability to take the blame in guilt.

He made the death of her brother about him.

Karen was CLEARLY upset when he told her that she wasn’t ‘there’, that the sheriff was going to call it a one person incident because their family didn’t need more suffering. After her mother’s death, now her brother’s, what would that do to her father if she ended up in prison? It was exceptionally manipulative on his part to phrase things the way he did and that stuck with Karen.

A lie. Not the first but the one that defined her relationship with the truth. With honesty. With justice and vengeance.

A lie that blamed her brother for his own death and a lie that haunted her each and every day, and will continue to until she’s able to come to terms with the truth of it.

We see a scene of her looking at the newspaper (a clipping about the accident), and I think there’s a deliberate parallel there to a scene in dds2, which we now segue into. (we’ll come back to dds3 after, I just thought this was a necessary bit of past information that ties into .. well .. pretty much everything). 

Onto dds2, or; the inevitability of Frank Castle.

The theme’s that tie Karen to Frank are constant, and, in my opinion, needfully heavy-handed. 

Karen learns there’s a man killing criminals, a man who sees the wrong in what people have done and is taking them out with military precision. He doesn’t miss his targets, so why is she lucky enough to get away from The Punisher? What if he knows what she’s done? What if he, like Ben or Ellison, dug a little too deep and saw why she’d come to New York in the first place? Or caught the scent of James Wesley, the gun at the bottom of the Hudson. 

What if she deserved it?

The guilt complex manifests tenfold after she kills Wesley, and continues on throughout season 2 with Karen believing that the reason Frank Castle exists as a concept, is due to the nature of the city. That really, these vigilantes are a product of circumstance. When people like Wilson Fisk rise to power, when there’s a wound in a city of that size, it doesn’t just go away. It leaves a permanent mark and Karen’s literally dedicated her energy to defending the downtrodden. To helping those who need help.

To learn the reason ‘why’ behind every defense sentencing. 

It starts with: he has to have a reason. He knows who his targets are, it’s not a madman gunning down randoms. So there’s logic to what he does, however, distorted by perception, but logic nonetheless. 

We see Karen throw herself headlong into this internal, isolated investigation BEFORE they have reason to dedicate their time and energy to finding a probable defense for Frank.

Karen goes digging before she’s obligated. 

Because she needs to know. Her truths (how many of them now?) are all buried, all dead, all six feet under so that desperate endeavor for honesty and absolution drives her to break into Frank’s house after seeing the files. After seeing what happened to him.

And it grows from there.

Karen finds the truth, wants the truth, and starts to see her grief in the haunted flint of Frank’s eyes and while all of this is happening, her relationship with Matt Murdock has shifted into something romantic. She trusts him. Gets girlish and sweet, maybe even a little vulnerable in his company. 

And in the middle of Karen talking to Frank, in the middle of Karen rooting around in a past that so many have tried to cover up, to hide, Matt is routinely and repeatedly betraying that trust.

Truth. Honesty. Integrity. Components to the walls that Karen keeps up around her, why she keeps most things, most people, at an arm's length.

They either hurt her. Or they die. 

And she wears plenty of guilt for that. Karen’s her own worst critic, her own judge, jury, and executioner. 

Now, Matt’s odd behavior is initially explained by Foggy as ‘drinking’, which wasn’t meant to be a lie that’d hurt Karen ultimately. Foggy did as Foggy does; he protects his friends, and maybe he’d panicked a little and that felt reasonable, right? Better than telling Karen Page that the vigilante she’d been enamored with is actually the blind man that she’s grown separate, and intimate feelings for. 

Again, we look into Karen’s past and we see that she struggled with addiction; pills, powder, alcohol - she’s been there. And her empathy towards Matt, all those hours spent worrying .. are housed in betrayal, ultimately. And he can phrase it like he’s protecting her but really, they both know better, they knew better, and Matt was probably afraid of what would happen if she knew.

A lie is still a lie, no matter the intentions behind it. 

Now Frank’s this sort of ... emotional lifeline for Karen after that first act of heartbreak is echoing around in her mind. Walking in on Matt and Elektra (which, and while I personally resent pitting two women against each other, I recognize the significance and circumstances of; this is all meant to dialogue about Karen Page, not to paint or argue opinions).

She turns to Frank, finds comfort in HIS justice, and it’s definitely an act of emotional projection. Her family is dead. Her family did not, and cannot receive the justice they deserved but Frank’s? That’s an honest to god tragedy (nobody comes out of that okay).

Their relationship continues in such a way that’s built on bald honesty. Even if it’s ugly, maybe especially then. Regardless of whether or not it’s chosen to be read romantically, it is significant, the line Karen has with Frank is probably one of the most important of her character: You’re honest. You never lie to me.

We know why that trait stands out among the rest. After all she’s learned about Frank, knows the skeleton’s in his closet; she doesn’t judge him. Not when the dust settles and the blood on their hands runs the same color red. 

Guilt and grief are hard to differentiate when you’re in the thick of it but Karen’s always drawn a pretty distinct line. 

No matter what, above and before all else; we are our truths. 

And when she collapses in front of her wrecked car (Ben’s, car, isn’t it?), she’s faced with two ghosts: Kevin’s, and Frank’s (he’d told her he’s already dead, what difference does another bullet through another skull make?)

And then he’s dead for real, she thinks. She’s grieving a dead man, loving and mourning him all at once. The scene with Matt hearing her heartbeat? It was done deliberately; he knows what hell he’s put Karen through by then, he knows she’s come to care about Frank in a way that he fundamentally disagrees with, but can’t talk her out of.

But Frank lets Karen know. It’s a pointed scene, on the rooftop. What is it, to be a hero? 

It’s not Midland Circle. It isn’t dying, and staying dead but living in the margins and letting your friends hurt.

It isn’t telling her: I’m Daredevil, and letting the mortification and pain and rage of the last year wash over Karen Page.

So we’re at Daredevil s3 (with an inclusion of The Punisher s1, and how loving dead men makes Karen Page switch to espresso)

We’ve already touched on her backstory, so I’m not really going to reiterate that here and now. 

But the big Lie. The big HURT for Karen this season is Matt. 

He died, but she refuses to believe it (even if she can’t know absolutely either way. Matt’s her friend. As angry as she gets at him, as dumb as he gets, Karen loves her friends fiercely). 

He’s ‘back’, but not really. Karen feels absolutely and fundamentally betrayed; if Matt was back, he wouldn’t let us think he was dead.

So much for him promising he’d stop lying.

And at this point? There’s no degree of self-preservation to it, he doesn’t mask it as keeping them safe. He just cannot live with what he’s become. Matt Murdock dies with the love of his life under midland circle and Daredevil’s fit-together broken pieces.

Karen’s don’t fit with his, but she cares, and she persists. Because that’s what Karen Page does.

She helps. In spite of or despite the circumstances, Karen Page does the right thing in the face of all the wrong. 

Her forgiveness to Matt is slow coming and hell, her defense of Frank to him at the very beginning communicates volumes as to where her headspace is. 

Karen’s tired of grief. Tired of being tired. Tired of people dying in the name of her truth; look at the Bulletin. She’d pushed the Jasper Evans lead, she’d pulled on that thread KNOWING it’d bring Fisk’s wrath -- she still has nightmares -- and that’s because discrediting her, the agent of honesty and truth, is imperative for the liars to keep good in the business of lying. 

So Karen uses her truth as a weapon when she goes to Fisk herself.

No one else gets caught in the crossfire because of her. No one else dies. this is the shape her justice takes and it is as brave as it is stupid, admittedly. 

We close the season on transparency; all seems well with Nelson, Murdock & Page. Truth sits behind her teeth at all times but lying doesn’t go away, it sheds it skin and it grows and Karen Page values honesty. Values justice.

Not how it looks to her alone. But how it fits into the to City they call home.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X01 - The Heart of the Truest Believer

Finally, I can start Season 3! It’s been so long that I can HEART-ly believe it!

...Did you miss the puns? I missed the puns. I don’t think Emma did, because I’m just hanging on by a thread! 

(Ha! Snuck two in!)

Anyway, let’s get under the cut and see what this episode has to offer!

Press Release Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Regina, Mr. Gold and Hook enter Neverland to search for a kidnapped Henry, they’re greeted by a school of not-to-friendly mermaids who threaten to end their search before it begins; Henry finds himself on the run from the Lost Boys with another escapee from Peter Pan’s encampment; and Neal, recovering from his wounds, travels through the Enchanted Forest with Mulan in an attempt to learn the fates of Emma and Henry.

General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness Neverland Seas ”I blame you.” Yeah, I disagree, Emma. For one thing, this plays a pretty small part of the overall story. For another, while they tried to convince her of what to do, it was Emma’s ultimate decision to do it. As she says, “We’re the same age. We have equal amounts of wisdom.” For a third, their decision, while endangering Henry, saved Regina. For a fourth, the only people’s faults for Henry’s capture are Greg and Tamara. *sighs* Look, I get Emma’s grief and worry, but this writing direction doesn’t feel genuine for her to deflect blaming Snow and David. It feels like a conflict was thrown in so that there would be more of a disconnect between her and her family.  I love Emma, but I can admit when a scene makes her completely unsympathetic despite the framing telling me otherwise, and this is a prime example. And here’s the thing: This never comes up again! Emma doesn’t apologize to them. This moment is utterly pointless!

The importance of teamwork is the big theme of this segment and once we get over that hiccup of a scene as I just mentioned, it’s delivered incredibly effectively. The conflicts between the characters, both internal and external, are incredibly real and no one is holding back. And the twist of those conflicts causing the storm is handled well! Rumple presents the bare essence of the theme, about Emma’s lack of belief, and because he chooses to go off on his own, the narrative has him fail by putting him into a traumatising position, whereas Emma’s belief in their abilities as a team and, in correlation with Rumple’s speech, herself, allows for the rest of the Nevengers to succeed.

Neverland Island So I have a nice bit to say about this segment, but it all applies to my “Favorite Dynamics” segment, so you’ll see that down there!

Enchanted Forest There’s not really much to be said about the story other than I liked it. That’s not to say that I didn’t like it or I didn’t appreciate the characters re-introduced or the interactions between them, but it was rather simple and that just doesn’t leave me a lot to talk about in terms of a breakdown of themes of major character actions. Still, the pacing was nice and the story was engaging!

Insights - Stream of Consciousness -So I didn’t realize that Emma giving birth to Henry was the first scene of the season. For some reason, I was under the impression that it happened at the start of “Coming Home,” but I honestly love it being here. Immediately, you get the sense that this arc was well planned so that it could return to this moment at the end of “Coming Home.”

-Also, I love that flicker of light as Emma gives birth! Such a special part of Emma’s life -- one filled with both joy and misery as she decides to give Henry away -- deserves the magical treatment!

-I seriously got choked up as Emma denied her chance at being Henry’s mother from the start. There’s so much love for him from the start and while it’s causing her so much pain, she’s doing what she thinks is best for him. And the gentle and yet powerful way the theme plays in the background just kills me. Swan Believer forever!

-Damn, what a cool way to go back to the present! We’re put right in the action, not missing a minute of the adventure.

-I will NEVER get over how much I love hearing Killian say “Neverland.” Whether in “The Crocodile” or here, Colin puts so much energy into the word, encompassing the danger and adventure to be found there.

-”It’s a good thing you guys don’t ask any questions.” My sentiments exactly, Henry!

-”More time than I care to remember trying to leave this place to kill Rumplestiltskin.” This provides some interesting insight into Killian’s character. It implies (to me) that he devised his Dreamshade plan with quite a few years to spare before his escape, whereas I always assumed that the planning took most of the time and that the escape was just a pinch of time towards the end.

-”Villains don’t get happy endings.” It’s incredible that this line, said by a character that left so little of an impression, is what follows Regina, Rumple, and Killian throughout basically the rest of the series.

-”That’s a great use of our time. A wardrobe change.” To be fair, Killian, Rumple’s not going to be in fighting shape sporting a Calvin Klein suit. This...honestly weird ass outfit makes the most sense.

-”You don’t believe in your parents, you don’t believe in magic, or even yourself.” Talk about a kickass line of foreshadowing of all that she’s going to overcome by the end of this arc!

-”When have you ever taken a real leap of faith?” Give it about a half hour, Rumple!

-So I must say, it’s funny that a lack of evidence is brought up as such a big story element here, but once Tink enters the picture, it’s her need for evidence as to the safety of their voyage back that secures it. A bit of dissonance, but nothing too severe.

-I love how Rumple spins his cane as he disappears. Rumple is the most beautifully extra person across the realms.

-I probably should’ve discussed this last time, but I love the design for the Lost Boys. They give off this air of being lost souls and their numbers stand to make them very intimidating.

-So going off of Greg’s death as well as the events of “Awake,” I’m gonna say that a shadow rip doesn’t necessitate death unless the shadow ripper wants it to mean death.

-”No time for questions.” I like that subtle line that’s in tune with Greg and Tamara’s line of no asking questions, foreshadowing the revelation about him.

-Damn! JMO is strong!

-The dialogue in the scene with Neal, Mulan, Aurora, and Phillip flows so naturally!

-”How long was he with you?” ”Long enough for me to know that I miss him, too.” I normally don’t make timeline jokes, but...come onnnnn!

-”I will not be capsized by fish.” This may be my new favorite David line.

-Also, any pretense that murder leaves any long-lasting effects of Snow and David go the fuck away when David tries to kill mermaids.

-Why didn’t Regina get rid of them earlier?

-”If Pan wants you, he WILL get you.” This line is delivered so well. Pan is not only just barely holding out from outright bragging, but is trying to deteriorate Henry’s belief and seeing that it isn’t working, cementing his part to play in Pan’s ploy.

-”Lead the way.” Am I the only one humming “Follow the Leader?”

-I like how, until Rumple enchants her, Tamara physically can’t talk. Very realistic.

-You know, everyone talks about heart colors when it comes to Rumple, Regina, Snow, and Killian, but does anyone notice how Tamara’s heart was pretty freakin’ red when Gold crushed it?

-Did no one read “Lord of the Flies?” Get the conch shell away from your enemies!

-”Filet the bitch.” I’m starting to think that all of my favorite character lines in this show have to do with aquatic life.

-”We need to think this through.” Emma, that why they’re shouting at each other. They’re discussing the matter.

-Okay, so I’m not the biggest Robin Sr. fan (And I’m hoping that this rewatch changes that for the better), but this was a solid entrance. It feels iconic, plays to the character’s power and good nature, and the more neutral yet noble tone that the scene requires plays well to Sean’s strengths.

-”See these markings? He was keeping track of me growing.” Awwwww!!! Papafire moment! That was necessary and beautiful!

-I just realized, this is our intro to blood magic! Cool!

-”I ruined YOUR life?” Regina, please. I thought we were past that…

-”Don’t call my wife a slag!” Yeah, Killian. You deserved the fuck outta that punch.

-I love the music that plays during the flying sequence! It’s gorgeous, distinct, and whimsical!

-CAPTAIN CHARMING BROMANCE!!! We have taken off!

-So I’m guessing that Rumple has encountered Felix at least one or two times.

-”Each of us have been too busy being at each other’s throats to be believers.” Those things aren’t correlated.

-”We need to do this the right way.” “No, we don’t. We just need to succeed.” YESSSS! Emma! That is my girl! She gets her tactics from her mama!!

-”It’s easier to get people to hate something than to believe.” That’s...incredibly accurate.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing? Everyone Working Together AND The Mission to Save Henry- ”It’s time for all of us to believe, not in magic, but in each other.” Emma’s speech took a sentence to get going, but once it did, DAMN did it get good! Now, as one gleams from this episode, these two arcs are one and the same. The only way Henry is saved is by working together, and this episode completely captures why that’s so important.

Emma Accepting Her Parents - This second-part-of-an-arc got off to SUCH a weak start, and that’s frustrating because I KNOW it gets better from here. But what I said above does apply.

Greg and Tamara - “We don’t ask questions. We just believe in our cause.” Holy crap. Tamara and Greg went from being two pretty intelligent and well designed villains into being total morons. I will say, part of me is glad that they did because if not, their conflict would’ve been way too close to a science vs. religion debate for comfort. But they also die here. To be honest, if anyone but Rumple was to find one of them, I’d rather it have been Greg who got the additional moments of life to speak and allow for Henry to get away. His story, well, was actually a story, whereas Tamara’s connection to Neal is loose at best.

Killian’s Redemption - Killian’s redemption takes an honest-to-goodness step forward. He’s acting on his decision to care about someone other than himself (And that shows through the two people aboard the ship that can stand him), but still has quite a bit of his verbal firepower and contempt (Towards David and Rumple) that reminds us of his villainous past and that his redemption won’t be all sunshine and rainbows.

Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple takes what is a realistic step back, though I’m not even certain I should call it a step back. Despite being his Rumple-y self, the narrative makes it very clear that his decision to dessert the group and chastise them beforehand are made on behalf of the mission to save Henry. And as we see the personal trials he’s already taken on in this pursuit with the confrontation with Pan’s minion, there’s so much power that grows with these decisions.

Regina’s Redemption - Regina also takes a step back into some of her more vicious tendencies: hating on Snow, defaulting to magic and violence for all her solutions. I personally like this because while there’s an understanding that these people are family, the anger and resentment between Regina and them is still present and in the heat of the moment, Regina won’t forget it. I will say, the Regina Blames the World trope is back and it still annoys me, though slightly less so here because the framing wasn’t going for sympathy in that moment.

Favorite Dynamic Henry and Pan. Pan’s dynamic with Henry sets up perfectly the kind of monster he will be for the rest of the season. He’s an incredible manipulator and plans out everything he says in order to activate Henry’s belief just when he needs to. Look at the way he set up the pixie dust and how that moment pays off! It’s makes for a triumphant moment that becomes terrifying in hindsight. But what makes this dynamic work so well is how it is set up. In the few minutes we see before Pan’s disguised appearance, Neverland has shown itself to be a cruel place. The location itself is darkly lit and the two villains of the previous season are violently murdered. Because of that, we as an audience clutch to Pan just as Henry does and because of that, for the first time, our belief causes suffering as the deception is exposed.

Writer Adam and Eddy, as usual start up the season! And I honestly like it. A lot of it is good! I’d compare it to the Season 1 finale where it’s a good mix of story and character moments (And just like in the Season 1 finale, has a completely pointless and aggravating moment, but thankfully, this one doesn’t mean a lot)! I feel like the characters were put in a solid place where they have room to grow and are put somewhere that keeps them intimate and gives them opportunities for great dynamics!

Rating 9/10. This episode is a great way to start off the season! The settings and themes have been set up well, and the characters are in good form! It’s exciting and adventurous, but nerve racking all the same. It makes me super excited for what’s to come!

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness” Captain Swan - Look, season 2 was not Captain Swan’s golden time for shipping (For me, at least), but Season 3 is here and they are glorious! Killian is incredibly respectful of Emma, comforts her over her worries, addresses underlying grief she has for Baelfire, and supports her as she prepares for Neverland’s horrors. It’s honestly amazing! Also, Emma and Killian are sailing the Roger together during the storm!! They’re working together and it is the BEST!!! Ship of dreams...quite literally! Swanfire - And don’t think I forgot about Swanfire! Both Emma’s grief and Neal’s devotion to getting back to her is such a big presence in this episode. “Tell Emma I’m alive, and that I love her.” Letting Emma know that he’s both okay and loves her is Neal’s main priority and that’s just incredible! And I loved Neal’s scene with Mulan as he discusses his regrets leaving Emma. <3

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Woohoo! Season 3 is off to a solid start and I can’t wait to take the rest of Peter Pan’s Flight! Thank you for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales!

Next time...I don’t know. Reader, help me out, cause I’m lost...girl… ;)

See you guys then!

Season 3 Total (9/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (9/60)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[sinterblackwell]

mid-year book freak out tag 🤍

this annual book tag is really popular in the booktube community and through watching my favorite booktubers, i always get to hear about the books they’ve read so far in the year so i thought it’d be fun to join in!!

i don’t have a booktube channel myself but i do think it’d still be cool to get to talk about books on here so that anyone who does stumble upon this tag could enjoy this experience as much as i’ve had.

hopefully maybe some of these books could catch your eye if you’re looking for some recommendations and if not, you still get to learn a little more about my reading tastes.

all the books i mention below the cut have links so that you can check them out if any of them peak your interest!!

1. best book you’ve read so far in 2021

- fifty words for rain by asha lemmie

this is one of the very few books where i felt such immeasurable grief over a fictional character. the main character nori goes through so much pain that when she does receive the love she deserves, it’s enough to bowl you over. this book has one of the strongest sibling relationships that i’ve ever seen and deals with such difficult topics being that nori herself is a mixed race child dropped off on her own in japan in the late 1940s.

2. best sequel you’ve read so far in 2021

- our dark duet (book two in the monsters of verity duology) by victoria schwab

i haven’t read that many sequels this year, although there are some new & anticipated releases that will change that (ex: cazadora [book two in the wolves of no world series] by romina garber)

our dark duet is one of two sequels that i have read and it’s the one that stands out to me the most because new monsters, new perspectives, and really surprising writing choices towards the end made this book an absolutely iconic and memorable finale of the monsters of verity duology.

i feel like this author is the best example as to the kind of writing i love based on the books they’ve written, even though the endings to some of their works seem to always leave me a bit unsatisfied. with that aside, the way v.e. schwab crafts these characters and depicts different relationships in dire settings makes for darkly intriguing premises and i’m really glad that i got to stumble upon their books through this duology first.

3. new release you haven’t read yet but want to

- the chosen and the beautiful by nghi vo

a great gatsby retelling with a queer asian protagonist and magical realism (from what i read of the first couple of pages) !!

this book seems to include a lot of things that i love in fiction, which always leaves me a bit hesitant because even with that, it might just lead me down a road of disappointment, key word: might. i have read a bit of the beginning before buying a physical copy just to be careful but from what i have read, i’m really excited to get to this!!

4. most anticipated release for the second half of the year

- the taking of jake livingston by ryan douglass

i just recently found out that this book is pretty short so based on the premise alone, i’m really interested to see how the author handles these sensitive topics broached in the summary and subverts them to fit the horror genre.

i follow the author on twitter and love everything they’ve had to say so far about this debut (and it comes out in my birth month!!) so i can’t wait to support them after the release.

5. biggest disappointment

- the gilded wolves (book one in the gilded wolves trilogy) by roshani chokshi 

fun fact: i actually really enjoyed this one (i didn’t give it four stars on goodreads for nothing) but i did change my rating in my review to a 3.5 because as much as i loved the setting, characters, and fantastical elements that this story has (+ the writing was beautiful), i didn’t care about any of the romance between the characters, which i think for a lot of readers made their reading experience better but for me, it ruined mine.

personally, i feel like this book would’ve done well without any romance and so i could’ve absolutely given this a five-star. but then if there was no romance, the ending might be a bit different but even then, i just didn’t care about any of the romantic tension or angst that was going on between these characters. and from what i heard of the sequel, the silvered serpents, there’s even more angst and i feel bad that that just repulses me because i don’t experience romance repulsion much, i actually do like romance a lot of the time, but there’s some cases where i either just don’t care about the romance or something about it sets me off. in the case of the series, well ……yeah.

it makes me so mad, though. because again, everything else about this first book was amazing!! it is absolutely rich with history and its characters all have such distinct roles in the story that i enjoyed being in each and every one of their perspectives. enrique is the historian of the bunch so being in his eyes made all these different clues they would find so interesting as we learned about their backgrounds. and same with zofia!! who is beyond skilled when it comes to math, and i love how her mathematical skills transfer so well in her ability to understand certain things that the other characters might’ve glossed over.

all of that and……the romance just wasn’t for me. it wasn’t the main focus, per say, but it did drive certain things that would inevitably happen in the story and that irritated me way more than i care to admit.

6. biggest surprise

- happily ever afters by elise bryant

this book had a lot of things that i usually don’t enjoy as much in other stories and the main character, tessa, herself makes some decisions that are so naïve and seem so selfish that you would think i’d dislike her.

however, there was a lot charm and empathy in this book that made our protagonist feel more endearing to me and if anything, i could understand why she makes the choices that she does and how that affects the other characters. i loved how much care the author obviously had for her main character and there were just a lot of other aspects to this novel that compelled me to love it more than i expected.

the romance, too, the way the author handled it, was absolutely phenomenal (see: i do like romance sometimes), and as someone who cares about friendship a lot in stories, in this one, how the author portrayed the importance of having your friend’s back made the story even more top-notch to me

7. favorite new author (debut or new to you)

- olivie blake

i’ve only read her latest novel, the atlas six, but from just the writing in that book alone and how the author constructs the characters so well, there’s already this undeniable trust i have when it comes to her writing—when it comes to knowing how sincere and perceptive she is in the direction that she has and will take in her stories, in the fates of her characters.

every writer has their own story to tell but with this one, there’s something about how she’s already laid out the pieces on the board in the atlas six that makes me think she already knows what story she’s drawing up now, more than her readers will be able to expect.

i follow her here on tumblr and so i’ve seen her responses to inquiries about these same characters or just general themes she explores in all of her works and her insight and way of thinking absolutely blows my mind, so much that its made me want to read everything she writes. i just recently bought the e-book copy of masters of death and i’m really excited for that one, just the same with her upcoming release, my mechanical romance

8. newest fictional crush squish

- noah from meet cute diary by emery lee

i don’t have fictional crushes, much less crushes in general, but i do have squishes, which is basically like platonic attraction. and in the context of this question, i genuinely do like noah’s character enough that i’d love to be his friend

noah is a pretty interesting character as far as how readers perceive him goes. some readers absolutely despise him while others may see themselves in him and then again with the few who just generally like/love his character. in my case, i really like him, and for all these different readers, it all centers around one thing.

it’s the fact that noah is a bit of an asshole

he’s an asshole who’s sometimes selfish and makes judgements pretty quickly, even when those judgements are actually right. he has a bit of an attitude that makes him seem stand-off ish and it’s that attitude that throughout the course of this novel develops so that he becomes more endearing. there’s so much more i can say about it, but i feel like i’ve said enough in this review, so if you want to learn more him on that front, you can read it if you want

besides the reasons already stated well enough in my goodreads review, another reason why i’d want him to be my friend is that i feel like it would just be really fun to hang out with him since in this novel, he notes down a lot of potential settings for his meet cute diary submissions on his blog. these settings are more for romantic dates and to have the chance to flirt and be with your crush but it’d be nice to think how good of a time we would have as friends. friends can have as many dates, just as much as any other couple, and so with noah i feel like it’d be nice to get to hang out with someone and be out of the house

he’s also a big manga reader (it’s not fully explored in this book but it is briefly mentioned) and as someone who wants to get into reading more manga, i think it’d be cool to not only get some good recommendations from him but just in general get to talk with him about it and have cool discussions about the different plots and characters.

9. newest favorite character

- sinter blackwell from all the better part of me by molly ringle (no surprise there)

sinter’s just a character who’s really charming and has a heart of gold. his love for theatre and how he expresses himself in fashion and music, along with getting to see how he became more comfortable in his sexuality and learned what being bi meant for him meant a lot to me.

the twist in the middle of this book where we see him come to fit into this new role that neither he nor me as the reader could’ve expected made the journey throughout this book feel even more heartfelt and i love how much by the end, he becomes a better version of himself than he was in the beginning. and by better, i mean that he knows more about himself and what he wants and he grows even more confident than he’s always already been.

i just love him, that’s….yeah

10. book that made you cry

- the cost of knowing by brittney morris

i cried at what was one of the happiest moments in these two characters’ lives because i knew what would happen after, so you can imagine how much harder i cried when what happened actually….happened.

this book just made me feel really sad

11. book that made you happy

- anxious people by fredrik backman

for a book that i now consider one of my new favorite comfort reads, it’s really fucking sad. as sad as i just mentioned the cost of knowing was right above, this one is just the same except it’s in those sad moments that i got a lot of reassurance and felt this warmth from seeing how these different characters who were complete strangers to each other interacted with one another.

this story is absurdly funny and has some interesting twists but the root of it all left me feeling near the end so appreciative of having given it a chance since it did take me months to finally get to reading it. highly recommend 💛

12. most beautiful book you’ve bought / received this year

- night. sleep. death. the stars. by joyce carol oates

this book was at least $35 and you know what? it was worth it.

i don’t buy a book unless i’ve read it already and really liked it but there are cases where i do take a chance on some and take out my wallet—either because the book isn’t available at my local library or on libby/scribd. either way, even then i do try to be really careful because i don’t want my money to just go to waste like that

with this book, it isn’t just the cover that pulled me in nor the title (they’re both really beautiful, i mean), but i did read bits and pieces of the first couple of pages when i came across this hardcover copy during my visit at barnes & noble and the writing was stunning so i’m hopeful that the book as a whole can leave me with a nice reading experience.

13. books you need to read by the end of the year

- the messengers (book three in the greystone secrets series) by margaret peterson haddix

- infinity reaper (book two in the infinity cycle trilogy) by adam silvera

+ a lot more but my fingers are getting tired so here are just two i do want to get to in the near future. i pre-ordered a copy of infinity reaper over a year ago and have owned it since the beginning of march of this year and yet i still haven’t read it, i can’t believe myself sometimes.

to be fair though, i am just really terrified about what i’ll read in this second book after the events in infinity son, the first book. plus, the author is known for a lot of angst and pain in his stories when it comes to the fates of his characters, which yes, i absolutely adore. he’s my favorite author for a reason, but……i don’t think i can handle it rn :/

[calzona-ga]

"I can't believe that this little show that we wrote and thought was a lot of fun in the beginning has turned out to be this thing that has really taught people," creator Rhimes says of her medical drama, which brought Meredith and McDreamy to life (and "vajayjay" into the vernacular), as she and partner Betsy Beers reveal their favorites and frustrations over 14 seasons.

When Grey's Anatomy premiered in March 2005, Shonda Rhimes was a newbie writer, Netflix was a DVD-by-mail delivery service and ABC was in the midst of a reinvention with Desperate Housewives and Lost. Now, 14 seasons later, Rhimes, 47, has built an empire that includes an estimated $100 million deal to create originals for Netflix and a full night of programming — ABC's Thank God It's Thursday — with a second Grey's spinoff (the first, Private Practice, lasted six seasons) coming in 2018. "Shonda and the team have done a fantastic job of keeping the storylines and the characters fresh by replenishing the cast over the years," says ABC Studios president Patrick Moran. The pop culture juggernaut and worldwide phenomenon (it airs in 220 territories) is ABC's No. 2 drama (behind only freshman breakout The Good Doctor), with 11.7 million total viewers and a 3.2 rating among adults 18-to-49 — not too shabby for a show about to see its 300th episode (airing Nov. 9). "Mothers who were pregnant during season one are now watching the show with their daughters," says ABC Entertainment president Channing Dungey of the new audiences discovering Grey's on Netflix. To celebrate their milestone, Rhimes and longtime producing partner Betsy Beers, 59, spoke with THR in their cozy Shondaland offices at Sunset Gower Studios about how far the show has come, the road ahead, characters they'd like to revive (literally) and — why not? — shoes.

If you could go back in time knowing what you know now, what would you each do differently? RHIMES I probably would have had better contracts to start with. The show has made $2 billion or so, and these are not $2 billion shoes. BEERS If we had known this was going to happen, we might have been more aggressive initially in our approach. RHIMES We'd both be laying on a beach in Zanzibar somewhere. No, we'd probably still be working, that's the problem. Every choice we've made, it's why the show works the way it does. Every time the interns were learning, we were learning. BEERS We've both grown up; Shonda has written books about her changes. We really matured into our jobs. RHIMES And have become more confident.

Several actors have come and gone over the years, from Patrick Dempsey to Sara Ramirez. If you could bring someone back, who would you want to have another chance to write for? RHIMES I'm always going to say Sandra Oh [Cristina] because for me, she's the most fun to write for. But if Kyle Chandler [who guest-starred as a bomb squad leader] showed up unexploded, I'd enjoy writing for him. BEERS Denny [a patient who died, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan].

You get a lot of feedback from fans about how medical storylines have helped them diagnose themselves or a family member. What stands out? RHIMES What is significant is how many there are. I can't believe that this little show that we wrote and thought was a lot of fun in the beginning has turned out to be this thing that has really taught people. And the number of people who have gone to medical school because they want to be like those doctors is also incredible. BEERS Somebody we knew realized they had breast cancer from watching LaTanya Richardson's storyline [as a woman with breast cancer]. The one that sticks out to me was, many years ago a kid in Canada saved his parent by doing CPR because he'd seen it on Grey's.

What's the most interesting note you've received from Standards and Practices over the years? RHIMES Over the course of this many seasons, what you start to understand is that it's not necessarily about what has happened before; it's about what the climate is politically, because things roll forward and roll back and roll forward again, and that's always surprising. As often as we said "vagina" on the show, to suddenly be told, "I don't know if you can say 'vagina' this time" is hilarious, but also frustrating.

Is that where the term "vajayjay" came from? RHIMES Years ago, yes. I used that because it was Bailey [Chandra Wilson] in a personal situation. My standard is always: These are medical people trained to be doctors; they are not going to use some weird name for body parts. It's terrible to teach women that they should use weird names for their body parts. But it was funny and worked in that moment.

Grey's was poised to tackle abortion in season two with Oh's character, who wound up having an ectopic pregnancy instead. Was that network pushback? RHIMES I had been planning for Cristina to have an abortion, and nobody said we couldn't do it. They were like, "It just is not done very often and it sometimes causes a lot of controversy." We hadn't been on the air long, and I wasn't brave enough to just say, "Screw it, we're doing it." I held back. I remember Sandra being like, "Come on!" Years later when we did it [with Oh in season eight], I got more pushback about that than I did when we were going to do it the first time.

Do you regret not going through with that in season two? RHIMES No. We didn't know the characters well enough. What I have come to understand and love about our show is, the more you get to know those characters, the more powerful things are. When Cristina chose to have the abortion, she had a perfectly good guy beside her, a great career and she is a person who was very clear about the fact that she did not want to have children. There is something wrong with our society in that it does not support a woman's choice to not want to have children. On TV, that is never portrayed as: You're watching a woman whom you respect make a choice that feels like a really strong, powerful choice that a lot of women make, and we pretend that nobody does. BEERS And that's an incredibly liberating moment.

Would you ever take on a timely issue, like the debate over universal health care? RHIMES We've done the "people who have no insurance and we're going to give them the surgery anyway" stories. I don't know what the universal health care story would be yet, so it would be about figuring out what that is. I don't ever approach anything from the issue first, so I can't tell you that I've thought about tackling universal health care. I'd have to have some great story I'd want to tell, and then universal health care would become part of the way to tell that story. BEERS Issues have emerged from the stories and the characters and the storylines. RHIMES It's the only way to tell stories.

What's the casting or pilot story that still stands out? RHIMES Isaiah Washington came in for the role of Derek Shepherd, and Patrick Dempsey was there. And then we had Sandra come in for the role of Bailey. I looked at her and thought she could be Cristina, and everyone was like, "What?! That's totally different from what we thought she was going to be like." Chandra Wilson came in, and she was not the Bailey we imagined, but the best Bailey ever. Jim Pickens was the only person who ever read for the Chief. There were a million guys who came in for George, but we just fell in love with T.R. Knight. Picking the actors was simple. BEERS In comparison to the way it is to cast a pilot now, where there are 4 billion TV shows and you're slaughtering people in the road to try to get to somebody … this was, in retrospect, a cakewalk.

How much input does Ellen Pompeo (Meredith Grey) have on the show? RHIMES Her opinion is very important. I have said to her that we're in this together, and that's important because it doesn't feel right that she be some sort of soldier on a field just taking orders. She also has some really beautiful, smart insights and some amazing character choices. When the character was steeped in grief [after the death of her husband Derek, played by Dempsey], we had some amazing conversations about what that would mean and where the character would go and how she would handle it.

Does Grey's Anatomy exist without Ellen? RHIMES Not as far as I'm concerned.

Have there been any talks about how much longer Ellen is interested in doing the show? RHIMES No comment.

As you've gone from intern to chief, what's your biggest change? RHIMES It's about having gone from being two kids in a candy store to being leaders. A lot of people think that they are leaders just because they have been placed in charge of something — and you're not. BEERS The learning process is sort of a baptism by fire, too, because you learn on the way. I hopefully have an easier time figuring out what's really a problem because everything seems to be the same when you start. The great thing about getting to be on a show this long and becoming a leader through it is it helps you prioritize, and that knowledge helps you enjoy the job a lot more. RHIMES You're less afraid to make decisions. It's easier to look at the landscape and pick out the mistakes. Before, everything looked the same and so you were terrified that you were going to step on a land mine before you knew it. I was always terrified that if I stopped working, none of this would work. I only started to think that maybe this would actually last in season seven or eight. You start to enjoy yourself and get comfortable and you're not afraid to make decisions, and if the decision is a bad one, then you're not afraid to take the heat.

Looking ahead, you're launching a firefighter spinoff come midseason on ABC as the flagship's second offshoot. Have you considered others over time? RHIMES We think about it a lot. There's always different spinoff ideas that come up all the time. It's too easy almost. BEERS If something is really interesting then immediately maybe that could be a spinoff.

Do you have a title yet for the firefighter spinoff? RHIMES I like to tell people that it's called Fire Place and say it really seriously and see their faces, because that's the worst title ever! BEERS The Fire Place. (Laughter.) We were saying that on set, and every 10 minutes it was just a different one: "Tonight on Feel the Burn!" (Laughter.)

What are some of the ideas you've discussed in the past? What made firefighters the right idea? RHIMES I'm not going to tell you because maybe one day we'll make them. The firefighter spinoff was interesting because that was an idea that wasn't an idea. The idea that we were going to put Jason George [who plays Dr. Ben Warren on the flagship] in it was not part of the idea. In a weird way, we kind of wrote the [season 13] finale as a firefighter thing — BEERS — without knowing that we were doing it … RHIMES … because we weren't doing a firefighter spinoff. We talked about firefighters being really cool and everybody was obsessed with them, so we were like, "Let's do a big, giant fire!" But it wasn't anything until after, when we were like, "We really have to have a spinoff topic." Then [Grey's writer-EP] Stacy McKee pitched this beautiful thing. BEERS It was super organic. We just reverse engineered something that was already there.

Is the larger goal to build a world similar to what Dick Wolf has done with NBC's Chicago franchise, where all the shows are connected? BEERS The primary determinant continues to be if we really want to watch it and we really want to see it and we really want to work on it, then we do it. RHIMES Because that ends up being what's good. I'm flummoxed by Dick Wolf. While I'll watch Law & Order until the cows come home, when [Grey's] was first on the air, it would never occur to me to go, "Let's franchise this; let's make Grey's Anatomy: Chicago," or whatever those people do. BEERS Very early on, somebody had said we should do that. RHIMES We didn't even know what that meant. It was like, "So there's just another Meredith?" BEERS Should we call her Meredith? She's in another city; she'd be called Meredith Flay? (Laughter.) RHIMES Flay's Anatomy?! That's super weird. So no, I don't think that's ever occurred to us in that way. BEERS We're excited about this because I want to see something that is fun to do, to work in a different space that we've never been in before. We have a stage that you burn stuff on. It's insane. RHIMES It pretty much goes with [the thinking of], wouldn't it be really cool to have an Oval Office? Wouldn't it be cool to have an OR?

Krista Vernoff returned as co-showrunner this season. Why is it important to bring her back? RHIMES The only way I was going to be able to allow myself to step back a bit was to have somebody there whom I knew had this. Krista understands my sense of humor, and she can write. She is just as passionate about the show now as she was in year one. I needed somebody that I knew would care that much, and that is not an easy thing to find, especially when you're saying, "I'm going to hand off my baby to somebody to look after." I have never been able to hand it off before, so I wouldn't be able to hand it off if I didn't have somebody who was going to do a really great job.

Ben Sherwood recently said 2 million people per month watch the Grey's pilot on Netflix. How has new viewers finding the show helped Grey's sustain itself over the years? RHIMES The beauty of Netflix is it continues to make new audiences for us. Our fans can give birth to our fans. Grey's has this universal, global thing to it. It works all over the world. BEERS There is a timeless quality to the show. The stories are emotional, the medicine is always relevant. Nothing is outdated because it's all based in real emotions and caring about people.

How will the Netflix deal impact your involvement with Grey's and the spinoff going forward? RHIMES Pretty much be exactly what it is now since we are in the middle of the Netflix deal right now.

You wrote in your welcome essay on Shondaland.com, your media site, about "too much change" and ending Scandal when you wanted to. Have there been times when you've wanted to end Grey's? RHIMES Yes. Season two, season three, season four, season five … it was an exhausting show until I really got the hang of doing 22 to 24 episodes a season. I learned how to write TV by writing Grey's Anatomy. It was about getting the hang of being a leader, being a boss and then doing two shows at a time [with Private Practice], and then three shows at a time [with Scandal]. But it was more about, "Can I do this?" That's how I discovered the art of reinvention: I'd write a season ending and be like, "That's it, we're done." And then I'd have to come up with something else. That got really fun.

All three shows that you've created (Grey's, Private Practice and Scandal) have run for more than 100 episodes — you're the first female showrunner to accomplish that feat. Given the challenges with cutting through in an era of 500 shows, do you think there will be other showrunners with three 100-episode shows to come? RHIMES I have no idea. Honestly, you can look at network television and say that you can't quite tell what's coming. But I hope so.

Do you have an ultimate goal of what the end of Grey's Anatomy is? Is that something you think about? RHIMES No, not anymore. When we realized that Netflix was reinfusing the show with a whole new audience and that it didn't seem to be going anywhere — and the ratings were going up and not down — that's when I had to get really Zen with myself and say, "What do we want? How do I feel about this?" It's been maddening and amazing to discover that you can reinvent it every year and it still works. I heard [Disney-ABC Television Group president] Ben Sherwood said something about [Grey's running for 40 years like] General Hospital. That's not the plan. But the idea that we are going to go until it feels like we're done is great.

Will that decision ultimately be yours to make? RHIMES Yes. I don't know why the end of Grey's wouldn't be my decision. Who would close the chocolate factory but me?

[coolmiddlename]

adventure time season 7 part 1 review

aaaaaaaaaa

we finished the king of ooo arc!!!!!! all the way to the end of stakes!!!

anyway as u can tell from my excitement we had a blast. i think this is one of the most emotionally sincere parts of adventure time, and many of the episodes made me laugh far more than i ever did during season 6, so theyve very welcome. yeah, some eps at the start of season 7 are lacking laughs or visual cues due to lazy storyboarding, but there are plenty of excellent parts to make good for it... and the finale totally gripped me.

 lets go through the episodes and try to describe what i found exciting:

Bonnie and Neddy - theres just something really touching about this episode. seeing finn and jake in those armored suits is a little silly but good setbuilding for the king of monarchy the king of ooo is trying to run, and transitioning from finns description about the brilliance of the water to the king of ooo making a scam of it, pretty damn funny. but what was better was the backstory presented in this episode... bonnie descends from the mother gum into a new world full of promise and life, destiny child that she is, whereas neddy experiences terror and overstimulation. and seeing her just... worry about him, get sad when he didnt recognise her but protect him w the song and bring him home, man i loved it

Varmints - i dont think we ever got a bubbline episode THIS expressive before or since, not even in stakes. the humor was SO ON POINT that i was rolling on the ground while the emotional trains of thought the chars were going through was presented so well, there was no ambiguity that wasnt deliberately placed. king of ooo in the costumes was a nice chuckle and also set in place that peebles as a princess had waaaay more power than whatever the “king of ooo” was before to the extent he sees her clothes as symbols of that strength.  i swear hes literally named that by his parents. anyway shes in the denial/bargaining stage of grief and falls into the depression stage after her hat is stolen and she remembers everything she lost, also i love this ep cos they were so EXPRESSIVE. probably the best pb ep...ever? at least until season 8′s jelly beans have power. emotion is something deeply missing from stakes, which ill get into in a moment. 

the other three eps - i wanted 2 make a paragraph for each of the other three eps but they didnt stand out enough... HOWEVER, over time ive come to enjoy the strangely domestic nature of Dirt Beer Guy a lot more, also i like Mama Said for being a sweet lil Canyon ep that goes into what finn and jake think of their new job... Football was the most standout of all, just something unsettling about seeing bmo argue with its own inner psyche i mean football. enjoyable, uncomfortable, cute. 

Stakes - what a heartfelt insight into the past of marceline, her history as a vampire and perspective on the present... lets talk a bit about the strengths and weaknesses of stakes. 

I felt that the miniseries handled Marceline’s past as a vampire hunter, as a young girl who had just been abandoned, and as a toddler with her mother.... it pulled at the heartstrings in a way AT rarely does. my favourite part of this backstory was marceline’s relationship with the bunny girl, who weve come to believe is finn’s ancestor.   

i also felt it was glorious folowup to the season 6 ending and a pretty good use of having all the characters without any responsibilities to the candy kingdom. they went on a vampire hunting adventure together which was sweet.

my favourite scenes of the actual miniseries were the ones that involved the vampires... ice king not being brainwashed was a funny twist that i saw coming immediately, and marceline’s vengeance on her felt real, as did her struggle the moon was intimidating as heck and finn and jake were so bad at taking her out. the heirophant’s transformations were really cool, thanks emily partridge for that, and the VAMPIRE KING? hooo boy. star of the show. everything he did was just so wackyzany and unpredictable, and yet so meditated that it feels like he may be the greatest thinker in the show. he reminds me of zaheer, talking to a frustrated korra. since marceline looks and acts like korra throughout this miniseries the comparison is strong.

as for other elements, my favourite parts were the ones where pb either did something goofy or morbid or fucked up the king of ooo. if looks could kill... “A MONARCHY IS NOT A DEMOCRACY!!!” BAM. so satisfying.  and all the candy people hugging her, and her lil breakdown over marcy while pepbut prepares the magic. PEPPERMINT BUTLER, this miniseries sealed my love for him which only grew after Jelly Beans Have Power in season 8. 

the funiest part of this miniseries were finn and jake, and the best episode was Checkmate. the fart speech scene got so many laughs out of me and then peeblles joined in and said it waS EMERGENCY TALK ONLY AND THEN THE VAMPIRE KING HOLDS HIS NOSE OUT OF STENCH and yeah for all the above reasons, the vampire king, the humor,  Checkmate is the best episode. All of Finn and Jake’s other scenes were also amazing. they were fucking useless in this miniseries which, apparently, is where their humor shines most. 

...which leads to my CRITICISM: a lack of expression and humor during key scenes. this is mostly related to marceline, but also to bubblegum esp at the start. there were many scenes that held the same angle for to long where they were talking about their feelings, but their faces werent changing, and it was just... visually uninteresting, didnt feel as expressive as it could have been, especially after the brilliant faces in Varmints. marceline is usually such an expressive character, seeing her standing still and rambling was so meh. which is why her flashback scenes - so full of character - are superior to any scene shes in within the present day. i mean, jesus, she literally says she feels love for pb in the most deadpan and blande way. peebles can get away with it, cos she has some KILLER faces later (that one at the king of ooo) and has always been relatively expressionless, also her actions speak volumes. marceline’s strongest expressions (in the present) were when she desperately tried to kill the Empress and the Vampire King, which makes them my favourite scenes for her. 

i think Everything Stays is the defining song of adventure time. It encapsulates our experience with the whole show; AT usually builds up dramatic plots, only to anticlimactically return to the “status quo”, but what we realise later is that everyone is still affected, everyone is still changing. the princess has her kingdom back, but she’s not going to take her position for granted anymore, and has averted from her dark path for now. ice king is still the ice king, but he’s now building up some friends and finding genuine happiness in the land of ooo. finn lost his father again and got his arm back (for the time being), but he feels way less burdened by his emotions that he used to, far more grown. and the same goes for marceline... even though shes a vampire again, shes no longer as burdened by her past. she’s come to terms with it. 

even though the characters return back to normal at the end of stakes, islands, elements, the things they have gone through will remain with them and shape who they become. in recent times? we have been seeing the effects of Elements on the characters of Ooo. how far they’ve been affected we are yet to see, and im excited to find out. 

[hellyeahomeland]

I'm the one who asked about the interest in doing a show about Quinn's younger days. I was perfectly happy with Sara's answer: "Honestly? No." She did not need to write a novel for an answer. Some Anons took offense with what they perceived as too short and curt an answer. Get over yourselves! Do you know how much work & passion she (and others) puts into the replies? She can answer however she wants!! She's not our mother or therapist or minister. No one here is. It's supposed to be fun dammit!

Anonymous #2: Just wanted to leave some love in your inbox and especially for Sara. You ladies are all awsome and it’s so much appreciated what you do for this fandom. You have kept so many sane and engaged and gave us the opportunity to rant and grief with you after the abomination that was the S6 finale. Sara, thank you so much for starting this blog, providing this community and bringing so many great bloggers on board. This blog is one of the best fandom blogs ever. THANK YOU!

Anonymous #3: Just want to pop in and say Sarah’s awesome. Sorry certain parts of fandom can be so sensitive.

Anonymous #4: Jeeeeeeeezz, Anon, who obnoxiously told Sara not to answer Quinn asks. You’ve been totally influenced by Trump, haven’t you? You probably defend his disgusting and bully Tweets too. OMG! It’s Melania, isn’t it?! Go away, Melania!! And, Sara… We love you and have your back! (Ooooops, could it have been gun-loving Eric Trump who asked that? Maybe he has a bit of envy for Quinn. In any case, definitely a Trump family member. Just stay away from us.)

Anonymous #5: So sorry to hear that you receive hateful asks. I love reading your blog every day and find all your answers very intelligent, well researched and insightful. Just look at it that way: your blog is relevant, important and popular which always attracts haters. Haters cannot handle a different opinion or feeling about characters or things in general. They project their own insecurity on hateful anonymous actions. I’m sure the vast majority is very thankful for all your hard work and dedication.

Anonymous #6: My name is Sara (without an “h”!), I am the same age as HYH Sara, I’m also a Southern American, and I’ve been obsessively watching Homeland on repeat since season 1, episode 1 first aired. Just want to say that I love this blog and I think Sara might be my long-lost twin with the same name! :)

Anonymous #7: Thank you for the Emmy-related answer! It wasn’t a dig at Sara at all (I’m not the anon she replied to). Btw I just wanted to send some love to you all ❤❤❤ It seems like there’s still a lot of anger in the fandom and it shouldn’t be directed at any of you. It’s so unfair because it’s clear you do this blog with so much love, dedication and respect. I can’t imagine how it feels to receive such negativity in return.

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement, strangers, friends, and long-lost twins! 

[scriptshrink]

Characterizing Abusers: Central Beliefs & Attitudes

It is an unfortunate reality that there are many, many different ways for people to abuse others. Lundy Bancroft’s excellent book, “Why Does He Do That?” breaks down the most commonly seen kinds of abusers.

The book goes into way more detail and description of the different types, but I’ve excerpted the sections concerning the inner beliefs that drive different kinds of abusers’ behaviors. These things are pivotal when you’re trying to write an abusive character realistically.

One thing to note - abusers can fall into multiple categories, or even change categories day by day.

Shrink would like to remind y’all that not all abusers are men, and not all victims / survivors of abuse are women. This book does acknowledge this fact, and does discuss violence in same-sex relationships, by the way. 

The Demand Man

The Demand Man is highly entitled. He expects his partner’s life to revolve around meeting his needs and is angry and blaming if anything gets in the way.

It’s your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities if I drop the ball on them.

If I’m unhappy about any aspect of my life, whether it has to do with our relationship or not, it’s your fault.

You should not place demands on me at all. You should be grateful for whatever I choose to give.

I am above criticism.

I am a very loving and giving partner. You’re lucky to have me.

Mr. Right

Mr. Right considers himself the ultimate authority on every subject under the sun; you might call him “Mr. Always Right.” ... He finds little of value in your thoughts or insights, so he seeks to empty out your head and fill it up with his jewels of brilliance.

You should be in awe of my intelligence and should look up to me intellectually.

I know better than you do, even about what’s good for you.

Your opinions aren’t worth listening to carefully or taking seriously.

The fact that you sometimes disagree with me shows how sloppy your thinking is.

If you would just accept that I know what’s right, our relationship would go much better. Your own life would go better, too.

When you disagree with me about something, no matter how respectfully or meekly, that’s mistreatment of me.

If I put you down for long enough, some day you’ll see.

The Water Torturer

The Water Torturer’s style proves that anger doesn’t cause abuse. He can assault his partner psychologically without even raising his voice… He gets to his partner through a slow but steady stream of low-level emotional assaults.

You are crazy. You fly off the handle over nothing.

I can easily convince other people that you’re the one who is messed up.

As long as I’m calm, you can’t call anything I do abusive, no matter how cruel.

I know exactly how to get under your skin

The Drill Sergeant

The Drill Sergeant takes controlling behavior to its extreme, running his partner’s life in every way that he can.

I need to control your every move or you will do it wrong.

I know the exact way that everything should be done.

You shouldn’t have anyone else —or any thing else—in your life besides me.

I am going to watch you like a hawk to keep you from developing strength or independence.

I love you more than anyone in the world, but you disgust me.

Mr. Sensitive

Mr. Sensitive …is soft-spoken, gentle, and supportive—when he isn’t being abusive. He loves the language of feelings, openly sharing his insecurities, his fears, and his emotional injuries. … Mr. Sensitive wraps himself in one of the most persuasive covers a man can have.

I’m against the macho men, so I couldn’t be abusive.

As long as I use a lot of “psychobabble,” no one is going to believe that I am mistreating you.

I can control you by analyzing how your mind and emotions work, and what your issues are from childhood.

I can get inside your head whether you want me there or not.

Nothing in the world is more important than my feelings.

Women should be grateful to me for not being like those other men.

The Player

The Player is usually good looking and often sexy…Much of his satisfaction in life comes from exploiting women and feeling like a sexual animal.

Women were put on this earth to have sex with men—especially me.

Women who want sex are too loose, and women who refuse sex are too uptight.

It’s not my fault that women find me irresistible.

It’s not fair to expect me to refuse temptation when it’s all around me; women seduce me sometimes, and I can’t help it.

If you act like you need anything from me, I am going to ignore you.

I’m in this relationship when it’s convenient for me and when I feel like it.

Women who want the nonsexual aspects of themselves appreciated are bitches. 

If you could meet my sexual needs, I wouldn’t have to turn to other women

Rambo

Rambo is aggressive with everybody, not just his partner. He gets a thrill out of the sensation of intimidating people and strives to handle all life situations by subtly or overtly creating fear.

Strength and aggressiveness are good; compassion and conflict resolution are bad.

Anything that could be even remotely associated with homosexuality, including walking away from possible violence or showing any fear or grief, has to be avoided at any cost.

Femaleness and femininity (which he associates with homosexuality) are inferior.

Women are here to serve men and be protected by them.

Men should never hit women, because it is unmanly to do so. However, exceptions to this rule can be made for my own partner if her behavior is bad enough.

Men need to keep their women in line.

You are a thing that belongs to me, akin to a trophy.

The Victim

The Victim appeals to a woman’s compassion and desire to feel that she can make a difference in his life.

Everybody has done me wrong, especially the women I’ve been involved with. Poor me.

When you accuse me of being abusive, you are joining the parade of people who have been cruel and unfair to me. It proves you’re just like the rest.

It’s justifiable for me to do to you whatever I feel you are doing to me, and even to make it quite a bit worse to make sure you get the message.

Women who complain of mistreatment by men, such as relationship abuse or sexual harassment, are anti-male and out for blood.

I’ve had it so hard that I’m not responsible for my actions.

The Terrorist

The Terrorist tends to be both highly controlling and extremely demanding. His worst aspect, however, is that he frequently reminds his partner that he could physically rip her to pieces or even kill her.

You have no right to defy me or leave me. Your life is in my hands.

Women are evil and have to be kept terrorized to prevent that evil from coming forth.

I would rather die than accept your right to independence.

The children are one of the best tools I can use to make you fearful.

Seeing you terrified is exciting and satisfying. 

Mentally Ill or Addicted abuser

This last category is not actually separate from the others; an abusive man of any of the aforementioned styles can also have psychiatric or substance-abuse problems, although the majority do not. Even when mental illness or addiction is a factor, it is not the cause of a man’s abuse of his partner, but it can contribute to the severity of his problem and his resistance to change.

I am not responsible for my actions because of my psychological or substance problems.

If you challenge me about my abusiveness, you are being mean to me, considering these other problems I have. It also shows that you don’t understand my other problems.

I’m not abusive, I’m just——— (alcoholic, drug addicted, manic-depressive, an adult child of alcoholics, or whatever his condition may be).

If you challenge me, it will trigger my addiction or mental illness, and you’ll be responsible for what I do.

[blakeinsurancegroupuniverse]

The Who, What, When, Where And How's Of Wellness Coaching

If you are just like many individuals, a genuine effort . something about your fitness level that you would like enhance? Perhaps you would prefer to lose weight? Gain strength? Eat more healthful foods? Control a medical condition, such as coronary heart? The truth is, when we exercise and eat healthy we feel our best, this positively influences all aspects of our health. With a healthy body and mind we feel we can get hired to play the world!

Find mentors: Tony Robbins says certain one of extremely best ways to reach your goals is to someone else who has achieved the kind of success matter for yourself, and follow their behaviors. If you do exactly what they do, you will have the same success. Look around the internet if you have a business that you admire, and view in upon them often figure out what they're up to and become inspired. Consider hiring a business coach that help you reach your earnings goals much more quickly than you can on personal.

A Wellness and health Coach can be a certified coach who works jointly with you to defend you in accomplishing your locates. Through insightful questioning, a coach helps in which create the eye area and develop the steps you ought to achieve that vision.

What am I covering? Well, The character we could all agree that sometimes our hearts become distracted. They become muddled, weighted down by emotional and psychological forces which can be destructive. Fear, anger, grief, loneliness, inner pain, in addition a host of other emotions can whip through us like a piercing wrap. They stab the heart, and although natural meats not these the fact that real illness, they can indeed create Health and Wellness Coaching probem.

Coaching approximately moving forward, evolving and enhancing lifestyle you may have. Let's face it - we are who we are. Why shouldn't we be efficient we can be, handling what we have? We will never be someone - ought to use our gifts and skills to be our best everyday - set goals, make offers to transform and change. Coaching supports this by being results oriented and perfecting actions in order to become your better.

Baby Boomers. "Pretty much EVERY business associated with aging is booming." What are their article topics? Music, nostalgia. Concerns? Health, fitness, aging, retirement. Trim yourself into boomer consciousness, you can put on their interests and concerns to almost any subject area, almost any magazine or website you want to pitch.

Amusement is underrated. We should laugh; safeguarding for our spirit. Make a move for yourself this holiday season that brings you (and only you) some excitement. The "something" should push your usual "silliness meter" or be considered an simple indulgence that satisfies you. Go see a matinee comedy movie; whatever you crave to eat. Take a walking trip through some shops you've always wondered about, people watch, stop into a family pet store and play i'm able to puppies. Plan a mid-week treat like a massage look pedicure or attend that wellness class you've always wanted to try.

My philosophy is this - Healthy is the way in which approach the wellness of one's mind, body and feeling. How do you value yourself plus health? Cheaper . not feeling well look at the possibility of alternative therapy that may help you'll. You can incorporate some of strategies on yourself as I suggest here, or seek out the help of your reflexologist, an acupuncturist also known as a massage professional. I also provide wellness coaching and work with essential oil therapy for each kinds of wellness queries.