#meta: karen + truth

[benwvatt]

WIP Title Ask Meme

Prompt: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

(I am going to bend these rules!!!!)

tagged by the amazing @beachy--head.

tagging @siobhanbooks @gordopickett @chocomd @firenati0n @tinyarmedtrex

@kaalee @gayrootvegetable @nostradamus0 and anyone else who wants to join!

alright here we go! I am a wonderful mix of chaotic and poetic fic titles.

tracyyyyyyyyyy

hey, for what it's worth, i think you saved my life

vampire AU poem letter 11April2024

/ pina colada murder ballad

[meta] virgin river and disability representation

/ kuzotara

// lucifer ducks

// picking at my lips

// vampire prequel thingy

/Chinese!Henry

/cma

Benwvatt RBB fic (Eureka boys)

beta version blankity blank

Ella Minnow Pea story

Firstprince Severance AU (RWRB)

jilliam smth

messy poetry - benwvatt

t4t catherine/arthur fic idea

three chords & the truth

/vampire AU extra - Nick's a mirror

bluesey 1

fire escapes

smth nina

Wedding Singer AU - Ideas

misc graham x karen

[fakeoldmanfucker]

11?

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

The Facebook Effect by David Kirkpatrick my beloved. Also An Ugly Truth by Sheera Frenkel and Cecilia Kang. Also The Big Myth by Naomi Oreskes and Erik Conway. And I'm not done with Palo Alto by Malcolm Harris or Liquidated by Karen Ho, but I've enjoyed them so far. Basically anything tech (specifically Facebook/Meta) related, especially if there's a leftist bent to the analysis. I also enjoy history books in general.

book asks

[livingfictionsystem]

Review for 'Yellowface' by R.F. Kuang

June Hayward, an aspiring author with only scarce flops to her name, best friends/frienemies/rivals with Athena Liu, successful Asian-American Indie darling, has a lot of possible reactions to witnessing Athena's sudden and accidental death. Stealing Athena's unpublished draft about Chinese labour camps and claiming it was her own was certainly a *choice.* This book was honestly a treasure. It's a blunt, biased, yet uniquely savage view into the world of cultural appropriation, media backlash, and publishing. It's also a treat for anyone who loves to follow petty cancellation deep-dives and general drama; I was reacting verbally like I was watching a football game for my entire listen-through.

I love how many infinite shades of grey there are in June Hayward's first person POV. On one hand, fellow struggling creatives could understand the bitterness at being overlooked and the temptation to launch oneself dishonestly into notoriety on a wave of trends. Fame-hungry creatives can be absolute sharks. Her sarcastic and exasperated take on everything is jarringly relatable and actually pretty witty. She wasn't completely irredeemable; she did write supposedly half of the book based on Athena's notes and 'unreadable draft,' did extensive research herself, and even donated money to related charities. On the other hand, you see June change her name to 'Juniper Song' ("Hey, it *is* my legal middle name!"), using phrases like "reverse racism", and thinking things like, "Oh, I think have some Cherokee genetics on my mom's side I could use for a new book idea."

It really has a Bojack Horseman-esque way of exploring how publicists twist things for 'the right spin.' How commodifying everything from diversity to drama is just part of the game, some sort of socio-political mental chess.

The POV followers the MC's reputation's endless rollercoaster rising and falling as her house of cards collapses. Multiple angles are addressed on both sides, anything from claiming that Asian trauma is being 'gatekept' from the poor misunderstood white writers, to digging up June's 5 year-old posts responding positively to a Wonder Woman film and saying it was 'proof of a white savior complex.' Then you have elderly Chinese immigrants thanking June with tears in their eyes about how much her book means to them, while the right wingers are defending her on Twitter.

It was all incredibly realistic and modern, to the point of my leaving a review of a book on Goodreads is feeling extremely meta. No one is likeable or sinless---only fascinating and multi-faceted. The POV leaves room for the reader to pivot from having anxiety about June getting caught, to looking forward to the truth being revealed.

June's racism is also extremely well-written and just as contemporary. You see her trying to unlearn, correct herself, pay her dues, even try to protect Athena's memory, but then she'll get desperate and go on an internal rant about how "Karen" is used to discriminate against white women. And the thing is, June's not written as a stereotypical bigot or right-winger. The book has her probably about left-of-centre. She's the kind that's on the side of the disenfranchised until it's time to get defensive about micro-aggressions. The kind who uses the term 'Cis-het' but gripes about how minority creators have this conspiratal advantage.

Definitely read this book. I loved it. An easy 10/10.

Also, with how intimately and accurately R.F. Kuang wrote about experiencing mass cancellation, I have to ask them---are you okay? Show me on this doll where Twitter hurt you.

One of my favourite parts was when June was being cancelled one time and someone stood up for her, calling the mass pile-on a 'lynch mob.' Then there was discourse about whether or not using 'Lynch mob" in this context was racially insensitive, and then there was discourse about race of the person who started the discourse---IT WAS SO REALISTIC.

There's also another really good scene where June sits down with film execs and tries to insist; "I need actual Asian people playing the Asian characters, though. Representation is important." And one of the producers makes a racist joke about Asian accents and the other one playfully scolds like "LOL you can't say that!! :)"

It really had a 'As long as we're all white here, we have a little racism, as a treat. Just to make you feel like you're part of the gang' vibe.

-Xanthe

[leam1983]

A Taxonomy of Call Agents

The Ideal Point of Contact: "I've followed my script to a tee, with just a few ancillary points of personalization to make the structure feel more organic. I've listed all relevant info and helped you book an appointment in the best of cases. I sounded like a human being without being unprofessional and made sure to bring a bit of warmth and basic common courtesy to the proceedings."

The Actually Standard Agent: "I follow my script slavishly because previous postings scared me out of any sort of spontaneity. Everything is performative, but I at least don't sound like a robot."

The Robot: "I've thoroughly compartimentalized my job and have zero emotional affect involved. On the one hand, that gives me the social resiliency of Teflon and I'll swallow Karens unloading their irrational hatred onto me like it's a nutritious breakfast. On the other, I'm probably masking for some social awkwardness I'm stuck with."

The Stoner: "Hey man, everyone's chill. Everyone's a friendo, everyone's super cool - watch me land anecdotes and crack wise with people I'll never actually meet! I'll forget what I'm supposed to be doing and then fall asleep on the job, to where the Brain Gremlin will need to wake me up with a 3CX call. I'll mutter apologies and turn into a mellow version of the Robot for the rest of my shift."

The Overachiever: "I'm taking calls and doing my college-level Chemistry labs at the same time. Watch me juggle five or six different tasks at once with a modicum of success, which hurts my call rate but makes me come across as really mature and organized. The truth is I'm not, I just look like it."

The Evangelical: "I'm relentlessly kind to my clients and coworkers alike, but I feel obligated to end my scripts with a God bless that sometimes annoys the secular majority. I can't understand why anyone would be annoyed, as I've fully integrated the notion of proselytization as a basic component of being nice to people. When conversations turn personal over Slack, I'm the first to default to questions of faith as a show of support. I'm far too nice to notice the supervisors' rising annoyance, however."

The Grandma: "I'm professional when addressing someone of the same age range as myself, but default to grandmotherly or grandfatherly warmth with anyone younger. My avuncular charm is a viciously effective Sales tactic, but I'm also among the least technically savvy in the agent pool. Pair me with the Former Salesman on a list and I'll rack up all the referrals you'll ever need."

The Former Salesman: "I know all the tricks and needed precisely zero training outside of UX/UI concerns. I'll book you people with my eyes closed and have far more insight into the average customer's needs than your average agent. No longer being a salesperson, however, I'm under no obligation to butter anyone up. My blunt honesty counters my natural schmooze and sometimes costs us referrals - but it's workable."

The Gamer or Crypto Bro: "I took this job to finance my extreme hardware requirements, all I'll ever talk about is the ZOTAC Trinity OC's estimated TDP when properly liquid-cooled. God help you if I notice you're a fellow gamer, I'll start thinking the supervisory track knows about Street Fighter 6's Zangief meta or would be interested in setting up Coinbase accounts."

[nolaraised]

@heavenconsumed asked  ➸ write a meta about what life would be like if lucy raised me

I have So Many feelings about Lucy and Nancy and the tragedy of the relationship they could've had but were robbed of because of rich white men and circumstances beyond their control.

First of all! Lucy makes it off of Horseshoe Bay and escapes from the Hudsons to the mainland. Whether she's given birth already or the Drews helped her escape beforehand? Doesn't matter baby! She survives!

They end up staying in this little appartment above a small, antique bookshop and for those first few months, Lucy doesn't let Nancy's out of her sight for a SECOND.  (She almost missed out on watching her daughter grow. She almost robbed her daughter of the chance to.) She's constantly watching her daughter while she sleeps, studying her tiny face and wondering what parts of her parent's will she inherit. Will she have Ryan's eyes? Lucy's? (She hasn't figured out how Ryan makes her feel yet.)  

The sweet little old lady who owns the bookshop lets her work there a couple of days a week for rent, puts a little basket behind the register for Nancy and gets a little sling for her when she's stocking the shelves. (Her grandchildren and the rest of the town drop off a constant supply of baby clothes and necessities for her, refusing to let them go without. It's the first time Lucy wears hand-me-downs and doesn't feel shame, that she experiences the typical smalltown experience and feels at home.)

She cries on Nancy's first day of school before leaving for classes of her own so she can get her GED. Maybe she gets curious and takes a creative writing class, remembering her embarrasing poem she wrote at seventeen and all the ones she's read since. She doesn't have to make a career out of it but it's freeing to reflect on her life and get words on paper.

(She publishes her first book of poetry when Nancy starts middle school. Hopes, someway, somehow, that Ryan reads it and understands why she had to do what she did.)

Eventually she feels safe enough to put down proper roots in the safe little haven she's found; makes new friends and wonders how Karen's doing, has a few dates over the years and wonders whether Ryan has managed to escape his family yet. (Wonders what would happen if he turned up on her doorstep?) Finally finds a therapist she feels comfortable enough with to tell the whole dirty truth, talks about childhood and the constant pressure from all sides because she refuses to be the kind of mother that Nancy feels like she has to treat with glass or protect, that she feels that she has to mother.

(She knows Patrice loved her in her own way but it's FREEING to talk about her without being called selfish or ungrateful for not seeing her as perfect.)

Lucy grows up alongside Nancy, making sure her daughter knows that she's ALWAYS there for her, because Lucy won't leave her daughter without a fight, won't be the reason she's crying by herself at night. She tries to be as open as she can with her but knows better than anyone that there are some things that need to wait until Nancy's older.

She makes sure her daughter knows how loved she is. In one world, Lucy Sable loved her daughter so much that she died to keep her safe. This one has a happier ending. This time she loves her enough to LIVE.

[gwenivere]

✰          META  /  HEADCANON     :          GWEN'S FUTURE.

after gwen leads her friends to victory over morgana and returns the crystal to merlin, thereby restoring reality, we are only told that gwen and her mother are moving in together in an flat close to the rosens’. little else is said about what the future holds in stock for gwen, alongside her loved ones. therefore, the goal of this post is to offer some semblance of a future for her.   

as stated at the end of the series, gwen and her mother choose to stay in australia, settling down for good in the town of griffinvale close to melbourne. while karen finds a job in the town, gwen continues to attend griffinvale secondary and stays close with the friends she has made throughout the series :  tasha, josh and spencer. she still has somewhat of a rivalry with reine, but now that josh is single and michael has vanished, it has died down to a mild dislike, though gwen never finds it in her heart to forgive reine for being a pest and causing trouble. o’ leary also never returns, which does saddens gwen to a degree  (  as she has just learned he’s her biological father  )  but she keeps carrying on, and even starts enjoying school more now that she doesn’t have the weight of her previous responsabilities looming over her shoulders. she also keeps in contact with merlin, who continues to contact her via the glade close to the school.

throughout the years, gwen keeps looking for what she would like to do as an adult. having never had the stability she now possessed, she is at first intimidated by the large number of options opened to her. in the end, she settles down for a major in literature, with the intention of being a secondary school english teacher, just like patrick. however, to honor the part of her that is guinevere, she chooses to do a minor in medieval studies, with an emphasis on history.

gwen’s great love, besides teaching, turns out to be music. there is truth to fiction here, as tamara hope / lindeman went on to become a musician. unlike her actress however, gwen chooses not to make a career in it, only enjoying singing as a hobby. she occasionally does sing for small cafés around town, but it is simply to make some extra cash rather than anything else.

[zenon-karr]

I’ll add in here provided the person seem to be genuinely asking. I been byler since s2 so I will add my perspective. And let me preface that I used to ship mileven during s1-2, then shipped both briefly but it seem like s3,4 was demonstrating the deterioration of them so then I stopped. So basically I knew since s1 because of the Stranger Things bio for Will that be is gay which is likewise why I don’t think Mike is gay because it has in his bio about kissing a girl - this is why I think he will be bi. I have a more Doylist pov about byler since I saw it since s2. I knew Will is gay so I was thinking how they would display it not even thinking about byler at all.

So I was minding my own business shipping mileven in s2 then the scene piqued my interest when they showed the shot of Mike touching Will’s hand in Dig Dug - it wasn’t that he did it but it was the way they shot it like they were hinting at something in the future and then immediately went back and rethought byler and remembered how much they pointed out how El looks like a boy. When I first watched I didn’t notice that but then when I went back and thought about it they point it out A LOT. In combination of Ted saying ‘our son with a girl?’ And how Karen has almost the same type of convo with Mike about hiding things and he can tell her anything etc that is akin to Jonathan’s convo with Will. Then there is that scene where El puts on the dress and Mike thinks she is still pretty such when I first watched I was just like aw that’s cute but I feel like in combo with the other stuff looking back along with Hopper chasing the wrong kid and mistaking El for Will is same concept Mike is chasing the wrong person. I think mileven is genuine from s1-3 and then at the s3 end we see to me is where I feel like I see Mike realizing he likes Will too when the Byers move away. To me it’s like the same as the other ships esp jopper when Joyce and Bob dated or when Nancy was falling for Jonathan when she’s dating Steve. We see Mike acting weird with Will in s4 and unable to say I love you to El at the same time we are shown Will likes Mike. Since Mike has already said he loves El before it seems to me this is when someone stops saying ily so you wonder if they still love you. And it’s a portrayal of the concept when you don’t know how to say I love you to someone you love but not in the same way anymore. Like scared they won’t like it or you’ll lose them if you tell them the truth.

I feel like I keep getting the green light each season after that. It feels on pace for me. Where we see slowly confirm Will is gay, then s4 confirm he loves Mike. To me for unrequited this pace is too slow. I know they had Mike has that I love you monologue but Little Women there is a misplaced I love you in that and it’s a big love declaration that talk about love at first sight but the character ends up that they are in love with someone else. And that movie is on the inspiration board for s4 s And the painting is so much like the Ben and Beverly poem from IT that the parallel is so clear that Beverly thinks it’s from Bill just like Mike thinks the painting is from El.

I hope I make sense. I just have very simple reasons and a specific mindset about byler. I just keep getting a green light since s2 I feel like I can’t be wrong now. I saw when nobody else was really making metas. I saw it all by myself. Plus the Duffers like to write the classic tropes but then subvert them. So I like to think they’d take the gay kid loves his best friend but it’s unrequited and have the friend like the gay kid back. I think if it was unrequited we would see Mike reject Will in s4 so that we have a whole season of him getting over it and then have a different love interest. I differ from most bylers on here when I believe mileven is genuine from s1-3 but then Mike realize he likes Will when the Byers move away and that’s why he doesn’t write Will and doesn’t say I love you El. Like he is confused and doesn’t want to keep say it unless he’s sure about his feelings and status with Will. It looks like when I see the airport scene Mike is weird with Will because he heard Will likes someone and was jealous and later realizes he’s being an asshole and apologizes. I think he decided to give up when Will says the painting is from El and resigns to continue being with El because he already does love her and it’s not in this bad of a place. I how my pov is clear and I explained clearly it makes sense in my head!

What makes you believe that byler is real? I ship Mileven personally, but I'm trying to understand byler shippers' logic, because a lot of the time it feels like it makes no sense.

I personally think there are some scenes in the show and there are some choices that the writers made that are telling us that the plot of the show is going towards Will getting a "pay off", in terms of writing, at the end of the show and Mike and El finding out they are better as friends instead and Mike discovering he has romantic feelings for Will!

The writers have emphasized Will's sadness in relation to Mike and El as a couple both thematically and visually, in the writing & filming of the show there are too many scenes like this especially in season 3 and 4 they have made it clear that he will never be happy if Mike and El are the endgame relationship, even during Mike's love monologue after he supposedly decided that he was ok with El having his own feelings for Mike by saying that the painting was a thoughtful gift from El when it wasn't... They put a shot of Will's sad face in the middle of the monologue, and also he was framed behind Mike when he said "I love you" which in film is a EXTREMELY weird choice unless it means something more is going on that should make us not want El and Mike's relationship to work - the writers have been sabotaging the emotional connection of the fans with mileven by doing this and I don't think that professional filmmakers don't know that, I think it's on purpose!

The writers have shown Mike and Will as having a deeper relationship than all the other relationships Mike has, putting him in the same category of El as one of his possible love interests in the plot, they have multiple scenes bonding in a tender way than Mike has with any other of his friends, they happen in private usually or in emotionally charged moments that they film to make you as a viewer feel like they are in private and show how they have this connection that's more than just friendship

The writers have wrote in the show since season 1 MANY parallels between Mike and Will and other official couples (Mileven too!!!) that are, in my opinion, hinting at them ending up together at the end of the show

You can find the parallels here

The writers have continously shown El and Mike to have some kind of problem in their relationship and made El decide to leave Mike behind multiple times even if to save his life because she loves him, the writers have been showing us how Mike is not her PLOT priority and instead they have put having a romantic relationship with Mike as Will's deepest desire since season 3

The writers are building up El's character to have a coming of age that has recurrent themes of her finding herself without the influence of others around her, her becoming completely free from any kind of influence, and Mike has been represented as having too many internal fears to overcome at the moment about their relationship, especially with the love monologue at the end of season 4, he has beliefs about himself as a person that clash with El's character arc about not having to feel influenced in any way, the end of the show for El should be her having complete freedom in all aspects of her life because of the circumstances of her upbringing... Not saying that Mike is influencing her in a bad way necessarily, I think they both love each other a lot but having a relationship with someone that is that much insecure about his role in your life because you have powers will always be a type of influence

The writers have shown Mike and El as not being a team at the same level by separating them constantly after s1, instead they have shown the other couples that work as working together in the supernatural plot (Jancy, Jopper, Lumax, Byler)

The writers have paralleled Mike and El's relationship to all the ships that are not working for some reasons/are not endgame and have more infatuation than a real "true love" kind of relationship (Steve x Nancy, Karen X Ted, Bob x Joyce)

The writers have wrote in multiple scenes of Mike acting awkward with Will (Mike!!! Not Will) or them having coded conversations about how much they care for each other that have no sense to exist unless there is a pay off at the end

The writers have presented El, Mike and Will as being in a love triangle and have been framing them in a love triangle composition in the framing of multiple scenes, with Mike at the centre

When during season 4 the writers talked about all the movies that have inspired season 4 and 5 they have put multiple movies with love triangles that are almost identical to the situation between Mike, El and Will

Will and Mike have multiple fight scenes that are scenes you give to two possible love interests usually, the way the fight happen is written as two lovers having emotional fights instead of as how you would write two friends fighting

The writers wrote in the show a precise parallel in all the scenes of Vickie and Robin... between them and Will and Mike, paralleling Mike to Vickie specifically... who is a canon bisexual character and even paralleling Steve and Jonathan in that context as observers of the couples!

The directors filmed their scenes how you would film romantic scenes in stuff like Bridgerton or a romcom lol

The whole painting scene was Will making Mike feel so loved that he felt comfortable being vulnerable with El, but this means he was still not comfortable on his own relationship with her, he didn't feel safe enough to open up on his own and needed that talk and needed to believe all of those ideas about him being the heart came from Eleven so that he made the jump and told her how he felt instead of being selfishly silent on it because he was too afraid of her possibly leaving him one day... When you are really deeply in love with someone in the context of movies the characters don't let those type of fears influence them and if what gives him courage is the feelings of another character in the love triangle it means he's the right person for the character

( idk if you saw gossip girl but the was a love triangle situation between Blair, Dan and another character where Dan made Blair believe the other character felt some type of way towards her, she understood that she loved Dan because of this act because she wanted those words to be from him and not from the other guy... The whole painting lie is that same trope)

The writers are obsessed with IT from Stephen King and there are clear parallels with it in the show, the whole plot of s4 about the painting is a reprise of the plot between the romantic relationship of Bev and Ben in IT (with the postcard and the poem) Beverly is supposed to be Mike, Ben is Will and Bill is El.... Mike and El share a kiss at the end of season 3 that is supposed to parallel a kiss between Bill and Bev (they did love each other and liked each other but are not endgame)

Both Will and Mike are queercoded multiple times during the seasons

There are WAYYYY more reasons but this post is becoming too long so I'll leave it as this lol

You should rewatch the show and imagine if Will was a girl, I think many people would be seeing what I'm talking about way more and take it as a sign that Mike is going to choose "Willow" and see how Will is the better love interest for him...

Maybe it's all just queerbaiting, who knows, but at the moment I believe this is way too much for it to be queerbait!

I personally think Mike is bisexual

Masterpost about it here

and has feelings for both of them, but his feelings for El have always been a "puppy love" type that is growing to become more platonic than romantic with time, and I think he's a best match with Will, I think Will is able to make him be the best he can be, he's capable of making Mike feel worthy in a very natural way unlike the relationship with El does at the moment!

In my fixed post in the blog you can find all these things in more detail if you're interested!!

Thank you if you read all of this, regardless of what I believe I think everybody should be free to ship what ship they like best!! 😊

[prettyboybillyhargrove]

Karen meet with Billy first time in season 2 when he was 17. She knew he was underage. She even say are you Nancy's friend because she knew he was her age. He fucking sit there and eat a cookie while flirting with her, dude which grown up men sits there eat a cookie while flirting? But that didn't stop her. She takes one interaction as guaranteed. And continue stalking him. She find Billy when he's 18 and continue flirting with him. Literally wait for his work hours to put on a show? How does she even know when he's working? That's stalking. That's grooming. Literally the definition of grooming. She waited him to become 18 and she goes for it.

[archivistsammy]

making myself REAL sad about the fact that dean and bobby suffer from the exact same trauma-informed affliction. that each of them believes wholeheartedly that they were not made to be fathers. that each of them was so hurt by their own dads, by their own childhoods, that when faced with the prospect of building their own family, they balked and retreated and grew to regret it acutely. 

i know that the poetry of revealing bobby’s childhood during his death episode is powerful, but i think about how powerful it also could have been for the two of them (and viewers) to see even one conversation around this shared pain. i want to know what bobby felt as he watched dean fall apart over ben and lisa. he must have seen himself in dean, he must have recognized the self-hatred and the grief in dean that bobby holds within himself. and i just wish we could have had a moment shared between them where this was addressed. 

[darcyofmine]

also karen is clearly a junkie for danger lmao… the way she went to those boys when she saw they were threatening those women… and the way she couldn’t wait for her appointment in the morning and went directly to that woman’s house ? she’s unraveling

[karenpage]

you’re honest. you never lie to me

an essay (?)  about Karen Page + the importance of the truth.

I’m going to preface this with yes, I ship Kastle, but a lot of the details, the facts and the principles that will be shared throughout this post are some of the primary reasons I do, and not intended to necessarily change people’s perspectives to their own romantic pairings. 

We’re going to open with Daredevil s1, where it all began.

The introduction of Karen’s character is flanked by ‘guilt’ by ‘the truth’ and what it means depending on where you’re standing when you look at it. She’s framed for murder (an ultimate act of dishonesty), because she was investigating the truth - she lost her job, lost everything, in her pursuit of what was actually happening behind the smoke and mirrors of Union Allied. And at this point, it just looked like money being moved around, which, while illegal and immoral, wasn’t as violently criminal as say, organized drug trafficking and gang-related violence (like the Italians or Kitchen Irish). 

She relies on Matt and Foggy trusting her. She relies on that blind faith. And the few times Karen lies to them (and she does lie initially) was rooted in her paranoia. Her fear. Especially when you continue further on and she’s almost killed in her holding cell, and she doesn’t know who to turn to, who she can place her trust in.

Enter: Daredevil. (that’s a fine looking high horse)

He’s representative of good, working along the margins of the law (vigilante justice), but it is absolute. Of course, she has no way of knowing the shape of his moral code, but he’s the first person shown to save Karen so she latches onto that ideal fiercely. A continued theme of her thinking that Daredevil is the end all be all; he’s saved her, he does what’s ‘right’, or at least what the man beneath the mask believes to be.

Karen’s story arc through the entirety of season 1 is the pursuit of truth. It starts with Union Allied. It starts with Ben Urich. And then it twists into the guilt of Karen feeling the weight of the truth she unearths - doing what’s right, what’s just, starts to come at an incredibly high price. Karen’s life is threatened ROUTINELY, and she persists. She doesn’t stop. 

I don’t think it’s necessarily a death wish so much as it is: people have died on this journey and to stop? To give up because she’s scared? Would be an insult to them directly.

And then she’s at the business end of a gun. And then she’s got so much blood on her hands she can’t breathe. 

We now know (with the release of dds3), that Wesley wasn’t the first person she shot. That Karen Page has always been perfectly capable of handling herself but Wesley’s death is important in the shift of her reality.

It isn’t black & white any longer. 

Because self-defense has a very narrow threshold and while her life would continue to be in direct danger if James Wesley was allowed to live, right then, and after the first shot into his shoulder, he wasn’t an immediate threat. 

Karen emptied the clip into him and buried that trauma, that guilt, way down deep. 

But his isn’t the first life she’d taken. It isn’t the first ghost that sits in her shadow.

So why is Karen so interested in the absolute truth, every inch of it laid bare even if it makes her look bad? Even if it’s ugly?

Cut to Daredevil s3e10: Karen.

After two seasons of Daredevil and one season of The Punisher teasing the tragedy of Karen Page’s backstory, we’re given insight into what’s clearly a defining set of circumstances for her later behavior, for her grief.

Karen made bad choices, and bad things happened; her brother dies in an accident caused by her addiction, by her abusive boyfriend and it’s an absolute, soul-rending ache that we see reflected throughout her adulthood thereafter.

But her dad, a man who had no sense of responsibility, culpability, let his denial of their circumstances make decisions for them and was emotionally abusive -- he took away her ability to grieve. Her ability to take the blame in guilt.

He made the death of her brother about him.

Karen was CLEARLY upset when he told her that she wasn’t ‘there’, that the sheriff was going to call it a one person incident because their family didn’t need more suffering. After her mother’s death, now her brother’s, what would that do to her father if she ended up in prison? It was exceptionally manipulative on his part to phrase things the way he did and that stuck with Karen.

A lie. Not the first but the one that defined her relationship with the truth. With honesty. With justice and vengeance.

A lie that blamed her brother for his own death and a lie that haunted her each and every day, and will continue to until she’s able to come to terms with the truth of it.

We see a scene of her looking at the newspaper (a clipping about the accident), and I think there’s a deliberate parallel there to a scene in dds2, which we now segue into. (we’ll come back to dds3 after, I just thought this was a necessary bit of past information that ties into .. well .. pretty much everything). 

Onto dds2, or; the inevitability of Frank Castle.

The theme’s that tie Karen to Frank are constant, and, in my opinion, needfully heavy-handed. 

Karen learns there’s a man killing criminals, a man who sees the wrong in what people have done and is taking them out with military precision. He doesn’t miss his targets, so why is she lucky enough to get away from The Punisher? What if he knows what she’s done? What if he, like Ben or Ellison, dug a little too deep and saw why she’d come to New York in the first place? Or caught the scent of James Wesley, the gun at the bottom of the Hudson. 

What if she deserved it?

The guilt complex manifests tenfold after she kills Wesley, and continues on throughout season 2 with Karen believing that the reason Frank Castle exists as a concept, is due to the nature of the city. That really, these vigilantes are a product of circumstance. When people like Wilson Fisk rise to power, when there’s a wound in a city of that size, it doesn’t just go away. It leaves a permanent mark and Karen’s literally dedicated her energy to defending the downtrodden. To helping those who need help.

To learn the reason ‘why’ behind every defense sentencing. 

It starts with: he has to have a reason. He knows who his targets are, it’s not a madman gunning down randoms. So there’s logic to what he does, however, distorted by perception, but logic nonetheless. 

We see Karen throw herself headlong into this internal, isolated investigation BEFORE they have reason to dedicate their time and energy to finding a probable defense for Frank.

Karen goes digging before she’s obligated. 

Because she needs to know. Her truths (how many of them now?) are all buried, all dead, all six feet under so that desperate endeavor for honesty and absolution drives her to break into Frank’s house after seeing the files. After seeing what happened to him.

And it grows from there.

Karen finds the truth, wants the truth, and starts to see her grief in the haunted flint of Frank’s eyes and while all of this is happening, her relationship with Matt Murdock has shifted into something romantic. She trusts him. Gets girlish and sweet, maybe even a little vulnerable in his company. 

And in the middle of Karen talking to Frank, in the middle of Karen rooting around in a past that so many have tried to cover up, to hide, Matt is routinely and repeatedly betraying that trust.

Truth. Honesty. Integrity. Components to the walls that Karen keeps up around her, why she keeps most things, most people, at an arm's length.

They either hurt her. Or they die. 

And she wears plenty of guilt for that. Karen’s her own worst critic, her own judge, jury, and executioner. 

Now, Matt’s odd behavior is initially explained by Foggy as ‘drinking’, which wasn’t meant to be a lie that’d hurt Karen ultimately. Foggy did as Foggy does; he protects his friends, and maybe he’d panicked a little and that felt reasonable, right? Better than telling Karen Page that the vigilante she’d been enamored with is actually the blind man that she’s grown separate, and intimate feelings for. 

Again, we look into Karen’s past and we see that she struggled with addiction; pills, powder, alcohol - she’s been there. And her empathy towards Matt, all those hours spent worrying .. are housed in betrayal, ultimately. And he can phrase it like he’s protecting her but really, they both know better, they knew better, and Matt was probably afraid of what would happen if she knew.

A lie is still a lie, no matter the intentions behind it. 

Now Frank’s this sort of ... emotional lifeline for Karen after that first act of heartbreak is echoing around in her mind. Walking in on Matt and Elektra (which, and while I personally resent pitting two women against each other, I recognize the significance and circumstances of; this is all meant to dialogue about Karen Page, not to paint or argue opinions).

She turns to Frank, finds comfort in HIS justice, and it’s definitely an act of emotional projection. Her family is dead. Her family did not, and cannot receive the justice they deserved but Frank’s? That’s an honest to god tragedy (nobody comes out of that okay).

Their relationship continues in such a way that’s built on bald honesty. Even if it’s ugly, maybe especially then. Regardless of whether or not it’s chosen to be read romantically, it is significant, the line Karen has with Frank is probably one of the most important of her character: You’re honest. You never lie to me.

We know why that trait stands out among the rest. After all she’s learned about Frank, knows the skeleton’s in his closet; she doesn’t judge him. Not when the dust settles and the blood on their hands runs the same color red. 

Guilt and grief are hard to differentiate when you’re in the thick of it but Karen’s always drawn a pretty distinct line. 

No matter what, above and before all else; we are our truths. 

And when she collapses in front of her wrecked car (Ben’s, car, isn’t it?), she’s faced with two ghosts: Kevin’s, and Frank’s (he’d told her he’s already dead, what difference does another bullet through another skull make?)

And then he’s dead for real, she thinks. She’s grieving a dead man, loving and mourning him all at once. The scene with Matt hearing her heartbeat? It was done deliberately; he knows what hell he’s put Karen through by then, he knows she’s come to care about Frank in a way that he fundamentally disagrees with, but can’t talk her out of.

But Frank lets Karen know. It’s a pointed scene, on the rooftop. What is it, to be a hero? 

It’s not Midland Circle. It isn’t dying, and staying dead but living in the margins and letting your friends hurt.

It isn’t telling her: I’m Daredevil, and letting the mortification and pain and rage of the last year wash over Karen Page.

So we’re at Daredevil s3 (with an inclusion of The Punisher s1, and how loving dead men makes Karen Page switch to espresso)

We’ve already touched on her backstory, so I’m not really going to reiterate that here and now. 

But the big Lie. The big HURT for Karen this season is Matt. 

He died, but she refuses to believe it (even if she can’t know absolutely either way. Matt’s her friend. As angry as she gets at him, as dumb as he gets, Karen loves her friends fiercely). 

He’s ‘back’, but not really. Karen feels absolutely and fundamentally betrayed; if Matt was back, he wouldn’t let us think he was dead.

So much for him promising he’d stop lying.

And at this point? There’s no degree of self-preservation to it, he doesn’t mask it as keeping them safe. He just cannot live with what he’s become. Matt Murdock dies with the love of his life under midland circle and Daredevil’s fit-together broken pieces.

Karen’s don’t fit with his, but she cares, and she persists. Because that’s what Karen Page does.

She helps. In spite of or despite the circumstances, Karen Page does the right thing in the face of all the wrong. 

Her forgiveness to Matt is slow coming and hell, her defense of Frank to him at the very beginning communicates volumes as to where her headspace is. 

Karen’s tired of grief. Tired of being tired. Tired of people dying in the name of her truth; look at the Bulletin. She’d pushed the Jasper Evans lead, she’d pulled on that thread KNOWING it’d bring Fisk’s wrath -- she still has nightmares -- and that’s because discrediting her, the agent of honesty and truth, is imperative for the liars to keep good in the business of lying. 

So Karen uses her truth as a weapon when she goes to Fisk herself.

No one else gets caught in the crossfire because of her. No one else dies. this is the shape her justice takes and it is as brave as it is stupid, admittedly. 

We close the season on transparency; all seems well with Nelson, Murdock & Page. Truth sits behind her teeth at all times but lying doesn’t go away, it sheds it skin and it grows and Karen Page values honesty. Values justice.

Not how it looks to her alone. But how it fits into the to City they call home.

[matan4il]

I loved your latest meta because I just adore Henren!!! But everything about it also reinforced why I have always been confident in Canon Buddie outside of the obvious reasons.

This show and I think why I at least connect to it is because the characters border on anti heroes who are full of trauma yet aspire to be the best heroes they can. And none of them are really each other's first love but they are all soul mates. The definition of second chances.

But I always excluded Karen a little in theat because I love that warm cinnamon roll. To me she was trauma adjacent. It was cute to see her quirkiness unveiled a little. And to also see how much her character really is like Bucks. They don't have the blaring trauma other characters do, alot of it really is internalized and easy to mask.

And all of the above sort of reinforces your thoughts on how nice it was to see older queer women be represented in sexy times, because isn't it the truth we get to see all these characters get represented. None really would be the hero in another show especially say Bobby.

So it always just screamed Buddie were end game because they were each other's second chances. There is no perfect partner waltzing into be a good match. Especially now I just don't see how they bring in any LI that will ever rival their history and importance to each other

Hi Nonnie! Awwwwww, I’m so glad we both love Henren so much! XD And yes, it made writing the 606 meta (and making this extra gifset) especially sweet, and incredibly poignant, because the parallels with the only current same-sex couple on the show were SO LOUD.

I agree with you that in general, the average age of the characters on 911 is older than on many shows. IDK them I would call them anti-heroes (protagonists who lack heroic qualities, and even when they do the right thing it’s likely for the wrong reason), but rather flawed heroes. Which is the best kind. Because they’re realistic. They’re not some fantasy that can only exist in entertainment, they can be real people we might come across without knowing, and real heroes when the need arises. They can even be us if the circumstances are right. Which I think is very comforting and empowering.

And yes, all of these flawed heroes have second chance love stories. 911 looked straight at the trope of first love as the only worthy kind of love and showed it that grace can reside in later life, in the person who mends your heart after it’s been shattered, in the person who sees the mess that first love left and says, “That. I want that.” Which perfectly encapsulates Henren, as well as Buddie. Eddie who sees how messed up Abby left Buck and it brings out the feral, protective side in him, and Buck who witnessed Eddie’s breakdown and lovingly helped him put the pieces back together... That’s the kind of love that can make miracles happen, because it feels like a bit of a miracle itself.

Hope you have a great day, lovely! And here is my ask tag! xoxox  

[smokestarrules]

My Interpretation of Medal Suzdal Panic (SPOILERS)

ooooooooooooooookay I love this song and Revue SO much you guys I just think Mahiru’s deserved to go a little apeshit since the beginning of time and she SURE DID DELIVER HERE. 

So let’s get into it!

I am a huge huge fan of Mahiru’s Koi no Makyuu and the pure vibes it gives off, so foolishly assumed that this song would be like her previous one, and wow was I wrong. Mahiru’s scary now. Love that for her. While Koi no Makyuu is forced cheerfulness eventually giving way to real happiness, Medal Suzdal Panic is real happiness giving way to irritation giving way to disappointment and eventually culminating into pride. 

This is Mahiru goading Hikari into a fight in any way she can, and, I mean, you gotta love how all-out Mahiru always makes her stages. She puts a level of care and fun into them that none of the others can really reach. Even the name, the Revue of Competition, lies in an almost meta joke -- Hikari was probably never fully aware of the Hikari vs Mahiru situation, but Mahiru was, and the fact that Hikari still doesn't know that was Very Definitely A Thing is one of the reasons Mahiru gets so irritated with her halfway through this Revue. Mahiru clearly cares about this fight, and Hikari doesn't seem to get it. And the eventual falling of Hikari’s cape is the final clue to the audience that these Revues are different than the ones we’ve seen before. Hikari’s cape falls not even a third of the way into the song, and the Revue is not even close to being done yet. The capes have much less meaning than they used to; in these Revues, it is up the contenders to decide how you win. 

I wasn’t too surprised by the romantic undertones in literally every other Revue in this movie, but that this one had them too were a VERY pleasant shock! Mahikaren for the win  Mahikaren and/or Mahikari are debatably the least canon out of all the ships in this story, so that this Revue had about the same amount of romantic connotations as the rest do was VERY nice to see. 

“All this Karen-chan, Karen-chan. But the one on stage right now is you, Hikari-chan.” (M)

While a funny gag, this is also a really good reference of Mahiru’s own growth from the anime! She’s no longer as obsessed with the way one person sees her anymore (Karen) and she’s moving beyond those days, moving on with her life and moving onto new stages for herself! She’s not one-dimensionally focused anymore, and it’s not Karen on the stage with her, it’s Hikari.

Of course, all of the little cuts to all the different sports are hilarious, but this one’s my favorite by a mile lmfAOO LOOK AT HER GO 

And here’s the shift that drives me insane. First of all, Hikari thinks this is already over; she’s lost her cloak, so in her mind, everything should stop, except it doesn’t. Secondly, up until this moment, the Revue was very similar to Mahiru’s original one against Karen; hectic and strange, edging on horror but never quite taking the step, but this is when Medal Suzdal Panic skips that not-quite-horror step and plunges right into full-on horror. The cheerful music comes to a screeching halt as Mahiru realizes that Hikari doesn’t at all plan to fight back even after having lost her cloak, not really, and Mahiru, who’s been so excited for this Revue, is understandably a bit offended. 

“The truth is, I really hated you. You. You. You. YOU. YOU. YOU.” (M)

(I mean, that line’s just an absolute banger on it’s own gEEZ)

Mahiru had hated her, and Hikari not participating in the Revue now just makes it seem like Hikari had never given her a second thought. Mahiru just wants her to fight back, but Hikari’s too caught up with worrying about Karen that she’s not in the right headspace for it. ....Which is nearly the exact same thing Mahiru had once struggled with as well. 

So, yeah, she’s upset that Hikari’s not taking this seriously, and she’s upset that Hikari even left Karen in the first place, so she lets that irritation show in her song. Which prompts Hikari to run, because Mahiru can be, apparently, goddamn terrifying. 

AND THEN as Hikari runs, Mahiru goes back to original lilting of the song, but it’s slower now, and combined with Hikari desperately trying to get away, even without the music changing very much, the tone is entirely different. The stage is what the competitors make of it, after all, and with Mahiru so in-control of it as she is, there is literally no way for Hikari to get out. 

She’s angrier now, too, as she thinks about it more. She doesn't understand Hikari’s logic behind leaving Karen behind, and after Mahiru had stepped aside for Hikari, no less. She’d done that for them, and Hikari had (unwillingly) stomped on the gesture by leaving. 

And Mahiru.... Mahiru just wants to know why. 

"You, who won’t act on stage, what kind of face will you greet Karen with? What lines will you say? You, who ran away.” (M)

She’s disappointed in Hikari, because Mahiru’s already been through this, and she’d thought she could trust Hikari to stay. But Hikari hadn’t, and Karen had suffered because of that. She’s bringing to light probably everything Hikari’s thought, too, but Hikari’s never wanted to confront these questions; Mahiru is forcing her to. 

And Mahiru’s right, and Hikari knows it; tearfully apologizing and telling the truth, that she was scared. Which Mahiru had known all along, but still needed to hear. Above maybe anything else, Mahiru understands fear. 

And in the end, even though in any case the winner is clearly Mahiru, she still gives Hikari the gold medal, her song shifting once again into a true duet of understanding and pride. 

“We can share the burden because we are rivals.” (Both)

Hikari is acknowledging their bond now, which is what Mahiru wanted out of this fight. And then, once again, Mahiru steps aside, allowing Hikari to go and find Karen while also simultaneously inspiring Hikari to keep fighting for herself, too. Mahiru is content, because she got to stand on the stage alongside Hikari, and now Hikari too understands the significance of it. It’s no longer so one-sided. 

also “you were really scary, Mahiru-chan!” (H) is the funniest thing Hikari could’ve possibly said to end this off. 

[thesoundofmadness]

now i can't stop thinking about how fucking meta revue starlight is. how the entire franchise is a performance. how the girls are performing, acting as themselves because we, the selfish audience, want them too. about we, the audience, are driving the girls to act so cruel and selfish towards each other because we're watching them perform, and they all want to be the lead. how everyone except karen understood that, and when she realized the truth, she was terrified. scared of the stage itself, scared of the audience, scared of herself. how during the movie, karen had no idea what to do now that she achieved her dream because the performance is supposed to be over. but we, the greedy audience, forced them to perform again. it's just so

[harrowharkwife]

hm, interesting that the writers chose this episode, titled starting over, to literally write a character (toni) saying pretty much verbatim, "i'm sorry for not being supportive of this wonderful gay couple and their strong and healthy love from the get-go even though everyone else saw the beauty in them, i had reasons and excuses but the truth is that i was just wrong, and to atone for that i am going to pour love, time, energy, and resources into specifically celebrating this couple and the strength of their love... and it is going to be a SURPRISE." even to them.

interesting, isn't it?

(not to make everything about buddie- the vow renewal was about hen and karen and the family they've built, point blank, period. but in an episode written and directed by the showrunner and filled with other meta, tongue-in-cheek nods and moments (''that's how you looked when you got DOSED,'' ''the new dispatch center will be ready MID-SEPTEMBER,'' the amnesia couple's story mirroring madney's beginnings, multiple outfit repeats with symbolic significance in a show that typically never repeats outfits, ''you're the guy who likes to fix things,'' ''this is like our first fight all over again,'' eddieana bucktaylor breakup parallels that are quite literally intentional and on purpose considering KR wrote both 5.03 and 5.18, i could go on)... i feel like pointing out these kinds of meta narrative echoes is absolutely fair game.)

the beauty of long-form television is that i needed a lot of words to get this point across. KR, on the other hand, only needed thirteen of them:

I'm gonna tell you a story.

What kind of story?

A love story.

sounds like a promise to me.

[maeve-on-mustafar]

Anakin + the Jedi as family (Legends)

Since I see various assertions that the Jedi are Anakin's family, I wanted to delve into Legends to see if I can find any of Anakin's thoughts/others' thoughts on this concept, if he ever considers the Jedi to be family to him, or if other characters think of the Jedi as his family. Inspired by @padawanlost's meta posts.

(Note: this is specifically a commentary on Anakin's individual situation and is not intended to pertain to anyone's RL family.)

From Greg Bear's Rogue Planet:

Perhaps what bothered Obi-Wan was that he would be entirely in charge of Anakin. In the Temple Anakin had been surrounded by many Jedi and Jedi auxiliaries, including the staff, who had taken some of the burden off Obi-Wan. They had played the role of family, and Anakin had eaten up their attention.

This a very weird description. Anakin and Obi-Wan's fellow Jedi aren't characterized as actual family, but "playing the role of family." Obi-Wan doesn't seem to consider that Anakin could have a family among the Jedi.

From Jude Watson's Jedi Quest: Path to Truth:

Obi-Wan debated whether to speak. He knew what was bothering Anakin - the boy was troubled by both the Jedi Council's continuing wariness of his suitability and the implication that he was somehow different from other Jedi students. That did not worry Obi-Wan too much. He knew that Anakin's belief in himself was strong. Anakin was different, and he was learning that this was part of his strength. It did not have to set him apart. And Obi-Wan had told him before that he should not take the Council's rigor personally. It did not mean that they didn't think he would make a fine Jedi. It was their job to look for every possible trouble spot, to be harder on the Jedi students than their Masters would be.

Hot take: Jude Watson neither particularly likes or understands the Jedi, and her portrayal of the Council is the most two-dimensional portrayal in the entirety of Legends or canon, including anything written by Karen Traviss.

That being said, I kind of have to laugh at this characterization of Yoda, Mace, and Co. coming from Obi-Wan. "Sure, they're kind of mean, but it's their job to be mean!" He wants Anakin to understand that the Council is doing their due diligence and for Anakin to cut them some slack, but he doesn't ever expect there to be any kind of bond or affection between them.

TL;DR: Obi-Wan doesn't expect any kind of familial feelings from Anakin to the Council or vice versa.

From Jude Watson's Jedi Quest: The Trail of the Jedi

"The Temple is your home," Obi-Wan said gently.

Anakin nodded, but he knew in his heart he did not feel that way.

He loved the Temple and was always glad to return there. He loved its order and its grace. He loved the beauty within it, the Room of a Thousand Fountains and the deep green lake. But it did not feel like home.

Unlike other Jedi students, Anakin had once had a home. Unlike them, he remembered his mother. He remembered running home through the heat and bursting through the door to be met with cool and shade and open arms. He remembered his warm cheek against her cool one. . . .

No, his home had not been a planet. It had been smaller, and humbler, and much more precious.

Life in that home had not been easy. There had been times of food shortages, times when they had shivered at night forwent of fuel.

The Temple was never short of food or fuel. The temperature was maintained at the optimum degree for the various beings who lived within.

It was warmer and safer than the slave quarters on Tatooine. But it still didn't feel like home.

Home will always be where Mom is. No matter how old I get. No matter how long it’s been since I've seen her.

I find this description interesting simply because when Anakin is considering the possibility of the Temple as his home, there's no mention of any of his fellow Jedi or his relationships with them. The people there don't seem to be a factor, whereas it's the default for Tatooine. He thinks of home when he thinks of his mother on Tatooine--and there doesn't seem to be anyone at the Temple who evokes a similar sense of home for him there.

From Jude Watson's Jedi Quest: School of Fear:

From the moment he had arrived at the Temple, he was whispered about. As the "Chosen One," the other students had kept an eye on his progress. Some were envious, some polite, some friendly, and some steered clear of him completely. But everyone noticed him. It was something that had been difficult for him in the beginning, but he had gotten used to it. Obi-Wan had told him that it was the best preparation for being a Jedi. He had to learn to screen out what others thought or speculated. He had to concentrate on his own path.

This is perhaps the most damning description of Anakin's childhood at the Temple so far. Not only does he not think of any of his fellow Jedi as family, but other Initiates/Padawans were apparently actively avoiding him because he was different or the subject of a prophecy. Again, it's Jude Watson, and also now Legends, but even so, this is a stunning inditement of the Jedi's inability to welcome or even accept Anakin.

From Jude Watson's Jedi Quest: The Moment of Truth

Anakin considered the question. Happy? Suddenly he felt confused.

What did the word mean? Had he ever been happy? He remembered a flash of a young boy, running home through narrow streets. He remembered laughing with his friend Tru Veld, a fellow Padawan who he had not seen in a year.

He could locate the memory, but not the feeling.

To be fair: Anakin is being drugged to the gills by Jenna Zan Arbor in this book. But I find it noticeable that the one Jedi who he remembers being happy with is Tru Veld, a fellow Padawan who Anakin didn't meet until he was fourteen years old. Anakin is somewhere around sixteen to seventeen in this book. So, potentially throughout eight years at the Temple with his fellow Jedi, and Anakin only remembers ever being happy around one of them. (Obi-Wan himself doesn't even get a mention here, which is either pretty damning or just a sign of Anakin's current impairment, depending on your perspective.)

From Alan Dean Foster's The Approaching Storm:

"Your upbringing was different from mine. You haven't seen the things I have." He looked down at her. "You don't feel the kind of loss I do."

"No, that's true," she readily admitted. "I don't." Her tone softened from argumentative to curious. "What's it like, to know your mother? To grow up with one?"

He brushed past her, moving to rejoin the others. "It's a feeling of loss that's hard to describe. Just know that it hurts. You're better off without that hurt, Barriss. Nothing personal, but it's kind of private. Even Jedi are entitled to a few small privacies. Even Padawans." He forced a smile. "Anyway, that was a long time ago. Let's see if our good guides think it's safe for us to resume our journey."

This is a conversation between Anakin and the Legends version of Barriss (who wasn't a terrorist, BTW). The contrast presented between is simple and stark: Anakin had a mother, while Barriss never did. Barriss never says anything about her fellow Jedi being her family. She never says that she feels that way or that Anakin should, or that they have an opportunity to have a family just among their Jedi peers. It's a very black-and-white perspective that was prevalent in Legends, particularly the older works, that if Jedi didn't have a biological family, then they don't have a family at all.

I definitely disagree with that take, but I do find it noticeable that in the same book, Obi-Wan comes very close to saying that he considers the Jedi to be his family when he discusses Anakin with Luminara, but stops short of saying it outright.

He nodded in agreement. "He fears he will never see his mother, whom he loves very much, ever again."

"That was a terrible mistake. Force-sensitive infants are removed from their families before they can form such dangerously lasting attachments." She sounded momentarily wistful. "I sometimes wonder what my own mother is doing, even at this moment, as we sit here discussing such things. I wonder if she is thinking the same thing about me." She looked away, off into the darkening prairie. "What about you, Obi-Wan? Do you ever think of your parents?"

"I have too much else to think about. Besides, every Jedi who is given charge of an apprentice has become a kind of parent. Being one leaves me with no time to think of my own. When such feelings do intrude, I find myself thinking of my teachers or Master Qui-Gon, and not my birth parents. Sometimes-sometimes I wonder if it isn't a flaw in Jedi training to take infants from their families."

"The proof of the truth lies in the success of the system. That, no one can doubt."

This is a fascinating passage. Luminara, a Jedi Master, still thinks of her mother and wonders if she misses her, similar to how Anakin misses his mother. Obi-Wan thinks of having an apprentice as being "a kind of parent" and thinks of Qui-Gon as a parental figure. (But notice Obi-Wan specifically doesn't say he considers Anakin any kind of son.) I also notice that there doesn't appear to be mutual understanding, even among two Jedi Masters, of if they should have stopped thinking of their biological families at this point.

So here, it's not even that Anakin alone doesn't think of the Jedi as his family. Neither Barriss or Luminara seem to either at this point in their lives. Obi-Wan does, but the jury is still out on what he considers Anakin to be.

In summary: I constantly see blogs trying to posit that Anakin had some idyllic childhood at the Temple where every Jedi there welcomed and accepted him. At least for Legends, this idea appears nonexistent in the actual works. Not only does Anakin repeatedly not consider the Jedi his family in Legends, but aside from Obi-Wan sometimes, it doesn't seem like the Legends Jedi were extending much of an effort to give Anakin a family. (And frequently they didn't even consider themselves a family.)

Also, Jude Watson's portrayal of the Jedi was horrendous (and her depictions of Mace in particular are the worst. #foreversalty).