#i always get silly when im tired
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maybe its just the brit in me but i think piss is objectively the funniest swear word. like. something mildly inconvenient happens and your only response is. "piss." thats fucking comedy gold
#this post was brought to you by me dropping my pillow on the floor at 12:20am and saying “piss.”#and then wheeze laughing#i think it might just be the sleep deprivation tbh#i always get silly when im tired#life updates with jelly#shes so versatile too#“piss off” “pissed myself laughing” “i was pissed (angry)”#“i was pissed (drunk)” “its pissing it down”#what cant she do
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imagine going through life thinking women should behave the same way they do in porn. a sexual entertainment medium made with your own sexual gratification in mind. imagine being grown and so out of touch with reality that you think what you see on your screen can and should emulate the actual world around you.
[found under an ai image of a woman]
so far that ai-generated women tuned so specifically to your fancy should be what you see for free at the bloody metro station. your own greed and desire when it comes to others bodies is so normalized by the porn you consume that you can’t consider a reality where your sexual gratification does not matter. where no one is performing for you.
the scrubs example made me literally laugh out loud. you expect a woman in healthcare after working a gruelling shift who is just trying to get home safe is going to change into something off the hookup hotshot rack? young women should be uncomfortable for your gratification? what about yourself why aren’t you wearing the costume design from magic mike?
#*adds to blocklist* and now so can you <3#i love these wolf url guys they always have the absolute worst takes known to man like i know why your pack abandoned you#evidence of life#oleta being /silly and crude cw ->#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#also to the sexy gpas who comment ‘tired of this ~IA~ crap / i like real women’ i love you i’m sucking your dick rn#tell your son if he’s gonna fap to fake women because the only women he can stand don’t even breathe or have feelings he should stay away#from the ones who do and did#i’m obsessed with the mgtow dudes who like when we get our sex robots you’ll miss us and be sorry for rejecting us ladies !!!#and it’s like no actually there are too many people hell men in the world for me to miss men who think the world should be fine tuned to#their own tastes im literally pegging your dad rn <3333
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THOUGHTS ON THE NEW TRAILER????
heheheehheaHEAHaHAHAAHAH
#snap chats#this is excited cackling. by hthe wya#I CANNOT WAIT //THROWS UP//#i wanna have a watch party so bad .... yet i have no friends#gota speedrun making friends when i go back to school i have like a month and a half surely i can pull something#BUT VJLAKJLKAJV idc if ive seen this story a thousand and one times i'll happily see it a thoussand and two times more#i'm just so interested in how theyre gonna tackle it .... thats why i never tire of them revisting y1 i fear#like OBVIII it'd be nice for themt o eventually get to the rest of the franchsie#but i'm always interested to see how they portray the story This time#AND IM EXCITED FOR KIRYU AND NISHIKI'S ACTORS I SUPER DUPER AM TO SEE HOW THEY PERFORM#i've grown fond of them ... i mean ive seen nishiki's before but only as a silly guy ....... i must see him go from silly guy to. Trauma jF#ok by im gonna go celebrate the eve of my sister's bday with her :}}}}}}}
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ignore this.
learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom
even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit
#lohst.txt#they're all so right#because this fandom has had problems since the beginning#its always about the boys#the fics and the art and everything#and the fact that a large portion of this fandom is obsessed with the squip. the ACTUAL villain. yet would wish a 16 year old girl death#yeah. chloe did some fucked up things. yeah. dywh is an awful situation that was not handled well#(because this show has awful writing. you guys have been saying that already and youre right)#but come on. y'all act like the other characters did nothing wrong#if the writers would have cared to put actual depth into these characters#i havent listened to the source material in. a while. and i never got around to watching any other boot other than two rivers#i dont know what im saying#it was so easy to join bmc rp servers because no one ever picked the girls#did that mean i was left out of the rps? mostly. yeah#i mean. those servers always had the same rich and jake so we'd team up#but the jeremy and michael would barely give room for anyone else to interact with them#i used to have some discussions with someone about the flaws of this show and how the girls are constantly ignored#(back when i had sort of dipped out of the fandom)#anyway im never one to get involved in discourse directly#i support my mutuals and reblog art and post my silly little fics#mostly because im always too tired to put a lot of thought into any in depth analysis#(even though i have alot of thoughts on chloe and fairytales. which has nothing to do with this whatsoever)#everyone else has said it so much better than what i can currently come up with rn#but the way that the girls get watered down to one personality trait (this includes madeline). and are always used as background characters#the way there was so much christine hate at one point because she got inn the way of boyf riends#i looked chloe up on pinterest the other day out of curiosity#and there was so much hate#everyone likes christine and brooke#theyre the nice girls#the ones that get watered down to innocent and naïve and the mum friend of the group
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is it autism or is it a symptom of previous longterm social isolation and lack of agency ?
#i think. im not good at being a person.#ive finally gotten some alone time and i am reflecting. and well.#i dont think you can make me socially aware ^-^ i dont think i'll ever get good at it.#i donknow why ^-^👍 and i dont think it matters 👍#i think hes getting tired of me alreadyyyy......#and i think. lots of other ppl . dont see me wout him already also.#ive managed this already... impressive ^-^#but the japanese international girls like me so !!! it doesnt matter !!! i have. two nice friends. and 1 intimidating friend.#i will not get bullied or made fun of or be in ungetoutable bad situations bc of. mafia friend.#and then i will recharge and be silly around. nice friends.#i think the fact that im actively thinking about this. doesnt do anything for my case.#i think. im getting masking lessons. when i hang out w him. if it really is the autism. and im failing a little bit.#he thinks ive got anxiety. 💭💭 psych major ass. sorry. my roommates also psych major. why are they. talkers.#theyre scawy.#they both got adhd too. whats with that#anyway.#i want to get a haircut.#and hes like. well. hes literally 4 real a model. and his mom was a model. and all his friends were. guess what. models.#so. scary. so i will go to a shitty salon w a nice normal level of social skill friend and then not say anything i think.#i love yapping on here this is awesome. i can just say anytging.#non u know me in real life#how did i end up making friends w the most 'popular guy' guy in the world this is so stressful.#everyone likes him. there are ppl who only talk to me to get an idea of where he might be at. what happened.#howd i go from friendless loser to. loser but in a completely different friend environment. friends w guy who is too good at making friends#but chooses to hang out w me ? does he choose to do that. is it all coincidence?#how did i get here. it really doesnt feel real#i want. to . explode.#yknow i never even really talked to boys before this also. wtf. wtf..#i have only been saying nice things so far i think but i think its important to know that he. scares me. hes so from bc.#i have always been scared of island ppl theyre. all so mad always. and guess what he is too. and yet here i am.
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im tempted to make a massive vent post but idk if that's a good idea
#imjusy gonna yap here#i hate how clingy i am#when theyre not tslking to me i get worried#i feel bad#i feel like im not enough#i always get insecure when i dont have constant reassurance and i hate it#i feel like a selfish asshole man#i make everything about me i think about nobody else but me#and i hate how im like this#i feel like someday theyre gonna get tired of me#tired of my bs#tired of me constantly needing reassurance#i fucking hate being insecure i hate it i dont wanna be like this#i dont how “quirky and silly” ppl make it out to ve#LIKE I FUCKING HAGE MYSELF AND I HATE MYSELF FOR HATING MYSELF#oh my god#rant over#vent post
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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dude i swear if i actually make gang's bay a real show and i write a joke about being trans people are gonna be like "this is incredibly offensive to trans people" and im gonna have to come out and be like "yall im literally a trans person writing myself im just having a laugh why cant you too"
like seriously where's the line between a joke poking fun for laughs and a joke that's actually offensive? i feel like that's a little bit subjective dontcha think
#sorry i literally cant stop thinking about this#i think we need to learn how to laugh at our own imperfections and just our attributes in general#even when they're being joked about from an outside perspective#people laugh at italian stereotypes and little german boy and conservative cartoons actively trying to offend queer people#oh but when a guy known to make fun of autistics makes a video making fun of 20-years-old european music suddenly thats bad#i feel like this ties into the whole idea of critical thinking too. which people are actively getting worse at on all sides#people need to learn to lighten up. not everything needs to either be 'safe to enjoy' or 'actively avoid this bad thing because its bad'#i actively watch helluva boss despite all the controversy around it. i dont give a fuck it's a funny show about hell whatever#i've been trying to avoid saying it because i was afraid people would block me about it. personally i dont have an opinion on the drama#it's just. swagever dude! im so tired of controversy over media actually what the fuck ever i dont care#there's an episode of clone high where they have a REALLY stereotyped charicature of adhd. i watch it anyway bc it's silly#are people boycotting the new spiderverse over the alleged stress workers faced? doesnt fucking seem like it!#idk maybe im just stubborn. or people REALLY need to grow thicker skin and lighten up#there is almost ALWAYS gonna be problems with something you like. learn to not give a shit and have fun anyway
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~
#alcohol mention#something about me is that i always get the strongest urges to write when im tipsy starting to verge on drunk#it's very much like. i'm very tired and my overactive brain wants to do something#but instead of just ending up asleep like i would if i was regular sleepy#im actually like. motivated to write. like my brain feels like it's been on a 8 hour long drive right now#but im raring to finish this snail mail letter and then start writing this silly lil fic#they speak!
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I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long
#talk post#i love this blog i want to live here#I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg#but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before#WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY#(yelling at a mirror)#seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately#and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week#making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts#and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again#this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row#but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school#and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing#and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year#and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it#like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me#PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE#i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean#i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy”#but things only work for so long#i hate the passage of time#anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff)#walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor#ramble#hit post
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not ready to go back to work tomorrow but luckily im so not ready that my brain isn't letting it fully process and so im just kind of numb except for little moments when the panic breaks through again
#feeling more and more like a robot and less and less like a person the emptier my life gets#the future is so empty like its just work and isolation forever#i have one thing left at the end of this week and then after that its just work and family and alone#and i think numbing out completely is really the only way ill be able to cope at all#i didnt used to really be able to do that but maybe now im to the point where i just have to so its become an option#idk i also might just be lying to myself and be about to get hit really hard with how bad this all is tomorrow#job interview friday. but plausibly i dont think i can take the job even if i get it bc i just dont think i can move to nyc#i just feel like ive hit a dead end#like i was a side character in someone elses story and that person has moved on so im just like floating in stasis#bc my part of the story is over i wrote myself out of their lives so i don't really exist anymore#idk my brain is telling me all these things that i know are silly but feel so true and i just am tired and empty#sorry to be dramatic and complain again just dreading work so bad#i just dont see any path forward thats not this forever loop like i cant make or have real connections with other ppl#and thats whats supposed to make a life real and worth living#but ive never had the capacity to connect right and ive never had passion for anything and ive never been able to really love and be loved#and i dont know how to fix any of it bc honestly i dont think any of its fixable#ill always be an emotionally harmful drain on anyone i think i love and ill always be left when they realize that#and then ive just hurt another person and i dont want to be a person that just hurts people so i cant be around people anymore#but its so empty and its so lonely and i hate myself so fucking much#anyway. i sound like a pathetic whiny teenager lmao sorry i know how stupid it all is i promise
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#i just like‚ don’t want to do anythin anmore lol#im so tired and have no sense of time i never know what day it is or what time it is i feel so lost#maybe i’ll just rot away in my room#i need to cry but the tears never come i always cry when i dont want to#let me fucking cry argrhrhggg#rotting away in my room forever probably gonna spiral but its fine i whatever i have water so peace and love i guess#im just so deeply sad and i’ve been just unhealthily scrolling on social media i need to stop instagram is so stupid for making reels#never going on instagram reels actually just say no#ugh im literally so sad and dont want to do anything i keep seeing nature and its just so beautiful and i think about a life i could have#i think and think about it and want to cry because it’s the most ideal life i could ever hope for but its just a silly fantasy#i know i’ll never actually have a life i want#i just want to live in a cottage and paint and be good at it and go for morning walks when the sun rises and afternoon walks when its rains#and pick flowers and go home and make soup and have a nice room to get all comfy and why am i even saying this lol#with the way the worlds turning out with everything unfortunately revolving around money i’ll never have an ideal life#it just feels like my whole life is just crumbling down around me#anyways im like totally fine by the way im literally so silly all of the time
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
#need a bestie so bad need to send audio messages and talk and talk all day 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 tired of using this like twt im so sorry#not that on twt i was a hit but at least some ppl would always be there to give me a like to let me know they vibe w me#it's so over to me i cant believe i am like this actually. a woman gave him a lei and he simply kissed her so gently i think im about#to pass tf out#guys guys im NOT new to this i not new to HIM SPECIFICALLY but only now im being crazy abt him this is so unexpected#i actually love when i get hit by a new obsession cuz it's often so random#even my sister was asking me what triggered this entire thing and honestly i just dont know#my friend mentioned that her grandmother likes him a lot and i was like oh me too and then i came back home and blasted some tunes and#here i am i cant stop fixation on him for a second!!!#i wonder if this is gonna be brief or if my destiny is sealed with this mf#and you knwo what??? its kinda silly that he is that great while he was basically an interpreter idek if thats a word. a cover boy.#he did covers but they are all amazingly amazing??? it takes artistry to be this good i really dont get how he did all of that#believe me i feel it his voice is a force. an energetic one idk what he had in him but i feel it so much????? I DONT GET IT#i keep coming back to add tags but holy shit i just need to talk about this here otherwise it will all stay inside and i want to say it!#its like i love him bc of his voice and then when i think about him singing i like it even more cuz i think he is so attractive and for that#his voice gets even better and he gets more handsome?? its like a circle a dialectical relationship it's the fucking combo of the person and#the skill#what a motherfucker!!!!
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I hate never knowing whats going on to be quite honest. I hate never being told anything.
#its so frustrating ESPECIALLY when shit goes down in the friendgroup and nobody thinks 2 actually fill me in on anything#like. ok im just gonna keep doing what i was always doing because if you wont tell me Why we suddenly arent talking to someone how do i kno#plus like idk i get attached easy ok.#whateverrrrrr.#lalalala im frolicking over here having fun w/ my friends#tired of trying 2 people please i need 2 have my own opinions. for my health.#PLUS SYSTEM THINGS MAKES THIS MORE COMPLICATED... how do u expect all my guys to just Know Things.#how do u expect ME to know things.#whateverrrr!!!! i stay silly
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grumpy
words: 400
warnings: just rafe being grumpy and sleepy
you started spending every night in rafes bed very early on in your relationship. it wasn't just because you were both so wildly obsessed with each other's bodies, but also because rafe loved to hold you close while he slept, knowing his girl was safe in his arms, allowing him to actually rest.
therefore, you also learned early on that rafe was even grumpier than normal when he was tired.
“baby, just come to bed.” rafe grunted, sitting up underneath the covers as to not fall asleep yet, not until he has you next to him.
“im almost done.” you reply from the attached bathroom, applying your serum to your face, the second to last step in your skincare routine. rafe was usually patient, either waiting in bed or watching you carefully remove your makeup and cleanse.
“hurry up.” rafe complains, his voice whiney. “im tired.”
“go to sleep then silly.” you roll your eyes, using your nail to get moisturizer out of its tin before placing it on your face and carefully rubbing it in, always using upward motions.
you startle when you turn to enter the bedroom and rafe is standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a pout on his face. “you want me to sleep without you?”
“huh?” you question, placing your hands on his shoulders, rubbing them gently as his eyelids flutter, clearly struggling to keep them open.
“you said to fall asleep without you.” rafe says again. “i always sleep holding you.”
“i was going to lay down in like one minute, rafey. it wouldn't actually be without me.” you coo, getting on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. “let's go to sleep, yeah?”
“that's what i was trying to do.” rafe says, but lets you lead him into the bedroom. you lay down, watching rafe get under the covers before flicking the light off.
“come here.” rafe says, opening up his arms as you scooch closer.
“it's so cute how grumpy you get when you are tired.” you hum, pressing a kiss to rafes cheek before lowering your head to his chest, wrapping your arm over his waist.
“shut up.” rafe grunts, further showing off his grumpiness. you simply roll your eyes, knowing he doesn’t mean the harsh words as you throw a leg over his hips to get comfortable.
“y/n?” rafe whispers after a moment of silence.
“what is it baby?”
“i love you.”
you smile, tightening your arm around his waist in a hug. “i love you too, even when you’re grumpy.”
taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld
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i dont know how im gonna get thru this week gamers im gonna be honest
#i am soooo so tired#and sore#but its ok i stay silly#trying to get myself thru it by reminding myself that i get to start doing camp stuff soon !#i always look forward to camp and then am a little bit in hell when i am there bc im in charge of 14 9-10 yr old boys but its still fun#starspeaks
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