#i always aim to be an unconventional learning experience

[schniggles]

Thank you for including the supplementary readings for your BNHA fic, since I learned what the term freeter meant from those. It came up in a post for my current fandom and I was like :O I KNOW THAT WORD I HAVE CONTEXT

HAHAAAAAA THAT’S GLORIOUS

[slasherparty]

Hey, could I maybe get a matchup?

I'm a Chubby German girl with brown hair that are little bit above the shoulder, I have blue/gray eyes and I'm 5'5.

I’m pansexuel.

I suffer from a social anxiety disorder and because if that I'm always afraid that I being judged in the public by strangers for something and i'm generally afraid speaking to people I don't know well.

Or when an embarrassing situation for me happens it could be that I get a panick attack.

I also have a hard time speaking English, because my native language is German, and I mostly learned english through reading and that's why I don't really now how to pronounce words right.

I like to play videogames, anime, horror movies/games, draw and I love musicals.

I dislike being bullied, my body and face mostly. My body because of my overweight and face just because I think I'm not attractive.

One of my main hobbies is shooting Air rifle. I'm and few friends are also in a club where we go every week and shot. I'm pretty good with my aim.

of course!! i think i have the perfect guy for you... Jason Voorhees!

why it works...💭

jason, like you, has faced harsh judgment and bullying throughout his life. his childhood experiences, especially with being ostracized for his physical differences, mean he deeply understands the pain of being ridiculed for things beyond your control. you both share a fear of judgment, making him someone who would not only empathize with your struggles but fiercely protect you from anyone who dares to make you feel lesser.

jason’s quiet, protective nature ensures that he never judges you for your anxieties, appearance, or struggles with social situations. in fact, he would likely admire your courage in facing a world that can be so cruel.

jason is famously silent and nonverbal, which could actually work well with your social anxiety. there’s no pressure to carry conversations or worry about how you’re pronouncing words — jason doesn’t rely on words to express himself. instead, he communicates through actions, and his body language would speak volumes.

your love of horror movies and games aligns perfectly with jason’s slasher origins, creating a shared interest that could make for fun (albeit unconventional) bonding experiences. beyond that, your talent for air rifle shooting and precision would resonate with jason’s expertise in throwing weapons and strategic thinking.

imagine him from afar, silently watching you practice at your shooting club, perhaps even learning a few tricks from you. your accuracy and focus would likely impress him, and you could bond over a shared skill that showcases your strength and determination.

both of you seem to thrive in environments that don’t demand constant social interaction. jason, being an introvert who lives in the solitude of the woods, would provide you with the kind of peaceful companionship that feels safe and unpressured. you could draw, play video games, or watch anime while jason quietly stays nearby, ensuring your comfort and safety.

jason’s entire backstory revolves around avenging those who are wronged, especially by bullies. if anyone were to mock you for your appearance, your accent, or your anxiety, jason would immediately step in to defend you. his protective instincts are unparalleled, and he would never let anyone make you feel unsafe or insecure.

while his methods are extreme, his unwavering loyalty to those he cares about would mean you’d never have to face the cruelty of others alone. his presence would be a constant reminder that you’re valued and worthy of love.

jason is someone who has never judged others based on societal norms. for better or worse, his tragic experiences have made him someone who sees past physical appearances and anxieties to the person underneath. he would adore you for your hobbies, talents, and the kindness you show despite your struggles.

jason would, in his own nonverbal way, reassure you that your body and face are not something to be disliked —they’re uniquely yours, and he values you for exactly who you are. his lack of words wouldn’t diminish his ability to make you feel loved and accepted.

thanks for participating in a matchup!! 💌

you can find more of my writing here on ao3!

[sunnyslovin]

How to Fall in Love With a Scholar

Lesson 2: Becoming an Assistant?

synopsis: Frequenting the library you catch the eye of a mysterious snarky scholar with brilliant ideas,

ideas that will change all of Teyvat he tells you- and you just have to be a part of it. Who would pass up an opportunity as life changing as this?

Unknowing that it would involve much uncertainty and chaos along the way to a cure. You don’t even know how to properly dispose of a body for god's sake!

Experiments, awkward feelings, and antics ensue as you both struggle to figure out what exactly it is that you want from this research- and relationship.

Previous Lessons-

Lesson 1: https://www.tumblr.com/sunnyslovin/732305116817981440/how-to-fall-in-love-with-a?source=share

_______________________________________

The library was always a peaceful place, though it never was quite this interesting. Most scholars seemed to avoid the silent sections, preferring to study with others around. Zandik, on the other hand, was always holed away in the quietest corner, never minding the silence, but welcoming it. The only company he allowed was yours. Every other day you'd walk in to see him there, and for some reason you were comfortable around him. His quiet nature seemed to mesh with yours, and the two of you seemed to enjoy each other's company. You began looking forward to these days, with the occasional conversation with the strange academic.

As the days passed you learned quite a bit about each other.. ranging from your pasts to, more mundane everyday things. You talked about your majors and interests, what you wanted to do. Learning about Zandiks interests in ancient machines and furthering human advancement. In turn he learned about yours, entomology and reading. Although you both had the same fundamental understanding that this was just an acquaintanceship, you couldn't help but talk for hours sometimes, or steal glances at each other while reading.

The stern expression that always seemed present before faded the more you both talked. He would look down at his book, but his mind was elsewhere, not minding the looks you stole here and there, he occasionally caught your gaze too. Noticing your hand gestures while you talked, and your mannerisms. There was a layer of intrigue in his voice, and he seemed genuinely interested in your life and aspirations. He’d also begun telling you about the darker aspects of Sumerus culture he had always known about, and the shady things he had done for his research.

Another week passed and it was another day of you both chatting in the library after class. Zandik had begun to open up more and you suppose to a certain degree, trust you? Or just know from judge of character that you weren't one to tattle because he opened up a conversation about his.. extracurriculars.. going on about the research he was doing to find a cure for Eleazar. A few things that required more.. unconventional methods. Sitting in front of you now, legs crossed and arms folded, he grew frustrated at the lack of progress. Making it known in conversations.. and making it known with that scowl on his face. It did sound hard.. You finally spoke up, “You know.. I really admire what you're trying to achieve but, I don't think the Akademiya would be too happy about your experiments if they found out..”

Chuckling softly, there was a hint of annoyance in his tone, “I know they would be unhappy with my actions, which is precisely the reason I choose to conduct them separately. I aim to further human research and development, at any cost.” Pausing, he smiled softly before continuing on, “You know, I never would have expected to be sharing this with anyone, or for them to be so understanding of my actions.” He closed his book. “I've been thinking, you would make for an excellent lab assistant.”

Closing your book as well, loudly exhaling, “It's just.. I don't want you to do something brash one day and get caught.. You would certainly be expelled and.. ughh I don't want to be here alone again, that would be terribly boring!” Laughing quietly before looking at him a bit more serious, “I.. still have some qualms about your actions, but.. I do understand. As for lab assistant, you know my research lies with insects, not humans.”

Zandik smirked and placed his book on the desk in front of him. Looking directly at you, his tone almost teasing. “You don't have to worry. I won't get caught, that's one thing you can be certain of.” His expression shifted to one of seriousness. “And I know your research lies with insects, not humans. But, I've read some of your notes, you're far more intelligent and capable than many other students in the Akademiya. I could use a helping hand.”

Rolling your eyes, you let out another long exaggerated breath. “Ok Zandik whatever you say, but.. if you do get caught one day just, don't leave me here with these.. these people..” Glancing around the library you notice a few students studying while others pick out books, all having the same air of arrogance surrounding them. “As for helping you.. you're far too flattering with those words but, I can't fathom how I could be of any assistance.” Shrugging, he leaned back in his seat, “Believe me, I won't let you down. You're far too nice for these people to deserve your presence.” Smirk flashing across his face, he shook his head. “As for helping me, being a lab assistant requires very little technical knowledge. You don't need to know everything there is to know. As long as you can be an extra pair of hands during my experiments, you'll be fine. I'm sure you'll pick things up quickly.”

You nod at his words, thinking.. The offer was intriguing.. “Hm, I'll give it some thought and come back with an answer tomorrow, how does that sound?”

The young scholar nodded slowly, a trace of excitement in his eyes. “Very well, that sounds good with me. It would be good to have some help with my research..” Smiling softly, he tilted his head, “But don't you dare answer yes because you feel obligated to help me. I won't be bothered if you decline the offer, I'm quite used to doing things myself. Besides, I'll find another volunteer, sooner or later.”

“I hear you, and i'll think about your words well Zandik.. now shush and lets get back to reading..” You both respectively go back to reading your books in silence next to each other. After some time passed it was once again time to say goodbye, leaving the library to head back to your apartment for the night. Mind filled with thoughts about the offer, seeming to weigh on you as you mentally list out the pros and cons, it was quite a struggle trying to decide.

Eventually reaching the abode, thinking about this and that. You didn't have many friends, so an acquaintanceship was a nice change. You enjoyed his company, and being an assistant could be fun. But what if it wasn't? Would it be a mistake or could it help to expand your knowledge and interests?

Studying your own research and eating dinner, your mind occasionally came back to the offer and as you drifted to sleep the thought of it occupied your mind, not willing to leave so easily. Your own research seemed to pale in comparison to what you could possibly gain from your involvement with him. Perhaps it was the excitement that came from something new, or just the curiosity of what would happen if you agreed to his offer, even if the two of you were just acquaintances. Whatever the case, sleep did not come easy to you as you tossed and turned. Filled with an anticipation and nervousness for what's to come.

The next day classes seemed to drag on and the lectures seemed never ending. Until they were and you were at the library door again, still a bit nervous about this new endeavor. Shaking off any anxiety, the oak doors parted way to the book sanctuary, your feet leading you to the back, to the familiar spot.

Zandik glanced up from his book as you came over, giving a small nod in greeting. His expression remained straight, but it seemed to hold a tinge of expectation as he waited for your response. “Well? Have you thought about my offer yet?” Straightening up to turn to where you sat, it was as if he expected you to respond in an instant.

“Wow, not even a hello, how are you, anything? Maybe I'll retract my yes just for that!” A smile formed on your lips at that look of expectancy, and the playful sarcasm you spoke that rang the answer to his question.

He raised an eyebrow at your words, almost in a way to ask if you were joking or not. Seemingly thinking about your response, he tilted his head slightly still holding that tinge of excitement in his eyes. “I- so.. is it yes?” He stared at you, waiting for you to confirm his suspicions. You could feel the anticipation emanating from him, as he tried to hold back the elation currently being felt.

Rolling your eyes with a sigh and a smile, you gave way to confirmation. “Yes, I thought it over and.. it would be stupid of me not to accept such a rare opportunity of hands-on learning you could seldom find elsewhere.”

The scholar in front of you heaved a sigh as well, though one possibly from relief as the butterflies fluttering in his stomach slowly seemed to die down. He thought he was keeping his joy in check, but it was evident in his tone; the words rolling off his tongue exuded enthusiasm. “Wonderful.” Thoughts passed through his mind, and he glanced at you curiously, “Do you have time to start your duties today, perhaps? I believe I can give you a quick tour, and show you my current lab location.”

_____________________________________________

notes:

Hi all, thank you for reading! I've cross posted this from my ao3 if you care to check it out, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnylovin/works

mad short chapter but progress 🧍‍♂️ how do you feel about becoming his assistant?? should be interestinggg 👁️ next chapter will be welcome to mtv cribs vibe- lab tour!!

If you have any comments or anything to share, feel free to. I'd love any feedback as this is my first long story! It's also my first times ever posting to tumblr & I had a bit of trouble formatting this so any advice would be helpful towards that as well! :)

[mediaevalmusereads]

An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth. By Col. Chris Hadfield. Little, Brown, and Company, 2013.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: memoir

Series: N/A

Summary: Colonel Chris Hadfield has spent decades training as an astronaut and has logged nearly 4000 hours in space. During this time he has broken into a Space Station with a Swiss army knife, disposed of a live snake while piloting a plane, and been temporarily blinded while clinging to the exterior of an orbiting spacecraft. The secret to Col. Hadfield's success-and survival-is an unconventional philosophy he learned at NASA: prepare for the worst-and enjoy every moment of it.

In An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth, Col. Hadfield takes readers deep into his years of training and space exploration to show how to make the impossible possible. Through eye-opening, entertaining stories filled with the adrenaline of launch, the mesmerizing wonder of spacewalks, and the measured, calm responses mandated by crises, he explains how conventional wisdom can get in the way of achievement-and happiness. His own extraordinary education in space has taught him some counterintuitive lessons: don't visualize success, do care what others think, and always sweat the small stuff.

You might never be able to build a robot, pilot a spacecraft, make a music video or perform basic surgery in zero gravity like Col. Hadfield. But his vivid and refreshing insights will teach you how to think like an astronaut, and will change, completely, the way you view life on Earth-especially your own.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: descriptions of life or death situations, animal death

I found this book at a used bookstore, and since I had seen a couple of YouTube videos featuring Hadfield, I picked it up. I like space but haven't delved much into the ins and outs of being an astronaut, so I figured this would be an accessible entry point.

Overall, I think this book was very good about explaining what being an astronaut is like without being bogged down by technical jargon or complex science. Hadfield's prose is very straightforward and clear, so even I was able to understand things related to flight or technical operations or what have you.

But the memoir isn't as focused on those things as it is communicating the humanity of astronauts and imparting some life lessons. The former, I found was executed well; Hadfield does a great job talking about his mindset and attitudes and I think there is enough levity and humor to make his extraordinary experiences more relatable.

The advice/lessons were, for me, more of a mixed bag. Part of my reaction might be due to my own feeling that many of Hadfield's insights were overshadowed by his stories and the advice itself didn't seem too dependent on being an astronaut, specifically. I guess that's good, since Hadfield aims to give some advice that is applicable to most people, but the advice felt a bit trite at times. There's also the sense that Hadfield doesn't get very emotional or show much vulnerability in his prose. This isn't, by definition, a bad thing, but when you've had experience that very few people in life will have, I feel like you need some robust, lyrical prose to really provoke a reaction in the reader.

TL;DR: An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth is less valuable for its life lessons and more valuable as a piece of science education/communication. Learning about the life of an astronaut was genuinely very interesting, and I think this book could get more people interested in space exploration. But as an insightful book of life lessons, it was just too flat and broad.

[cielomariel]

High Seas of Innovation: Lessons from "Pirates of Silicon Valley"

Ahoy, mateys! As a first-year IT student diving into the world of technology and innovation, I recently embarked on a cinematic voyage with "Pirates of Silicon Valley." This film is a gripping tale of the rise of tech giants Apple and Microsoft. It offers a treasure trove of lessons and insights that resonate deeply with anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of college life and beyond. Here's my take on the movie and how its quotes and situations can inspire us.

Unlocking Creativity

"Good artists copy, great artists steal." - Steve Jobs

From the get-go, "Pirates of Silicon Valley" introduces us to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, two college dropouts who would revolutionize the tech industry. This quote by Jobs, though controversial, underscores a critical lesson: innovation often involves building on existing ideas. As a first-year student this encourages me not to shy away from seeking inspiration from others' work. It's about taking what exists and making it better, more unique, and more impactful.

The Power of Vision

"People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do." - Steve Jobs

Jobs' relentless pursuit of his vision for Apple is a testament to the power of believing in oneself. As I struggle with balancing assignments, part-time work, and personal projects, this quote reminds me that ambition often requires a touch of madness. It's this audacity that drives innovation and progress. So, while my late-night coding marathons may seem insane, they could be the foundation for something extraordinary.

Sailing Against the Current

"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy." - Steve Jobs

This metaphorical piece of wisdom speaks to the rebellious spirit of entrepreneurship. Jobs' disdain for conventional corporate culture encourages us to embrace unconventional paths. However, the film also explores the ethical dilemmas that come with such a mindset. As students, we are often at a crossroads, deciding between following the beaten path or forging our own. This quote and the movie push us to question our choices: Are we ready to take risks? How far will we go to achieve our dreams?

The Dark Side of Success

"Success is a menace. It fools smart people into thinking they can't lose." - Bill Gates

Gates' words highlight the perils of becoming complacent after achieving success. Watching him and Jobs navigate their empires' highs and lows, I realize that the journey doesn't end with success; it requires constant vigilance and adaptation. Which means we must continuously learn, evolve, and stay humble no matter how many small victories come our way.

Friendships and Betrayals

The film delves into the complex relationships between Jobs, Wozniak, Gates, and Allen. These friendships, often strained by ambition and betrayal, remind me of the importance of trust and loyalty. College life is full of group projects and collaborations. Maintaining healthy relationships with peers is crucial, as these bonds can significantly impact our personal and professional growth.

The Drive for Perfection

"We're here to put a dent in the universe." - Steve Jobs

Jobs' ambition to create products that change the world is nothing short of inspiring. This quote fuels my desire to aim high and strive for excellence in everything I do. It's a reminder that our work can have a profound impact, and we should always aim to leave a lasting legacy.

Reflecting on My Journey

Watching "Pirates of Silicon Valley" has been enlightening. The movie's depiction of relentless innovation, ethical dilemmas, and the personal costs of ambition resonates deeply with my own experiences and aspirations. It challenges me to think critically about my goals, the risks I'm willing to take, and the values I hold dear.

As I try balancing the pressures of academics and personal growth, the stories of Jobs and Gates remind me that every great journey begins with a single step. Their successes and failures are a testament to the resilience and vision required to make a difference.

So, to my fellow students, let's embrace the spirit of these tech pioneers. Let's be bold, take risks, and strive to leave our dent in the universe. After all, in the words of the film, "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

As you set sail on your journey, are you ready to be the captain of your own ship, exploring the uncharted waters, or will you remain anchored in the safety of the harbor?

[sistamagza]

10 Unexpected Ways to Heal Your Heart After a Breakup

New Post has been published on https://sistamagazine.co.za/10-unexpected-ways-to-heal-your-heart-after-a-breakup/

10 Unexpected Ways to Heal Your Heart After a Breakup

Breaking up with someone you once cared deeply for can be one of life’s most challenging experiences. It’s a time when emotions run high, and healing seems like an impossible task. While the traditional advice of self-care, time, and support from friends and family is undoubtedly valuable, there are also some unexpected approaches that can help soothe the pain and accelerate the healing process. Here are ten unconventional methods to heal your heart after a breakup:

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Embrace Your Inner Child: Reconnect with your inner child by indulging in activities you enjoyed as a kid. Whether it’s coloring, building with LEGO bricks, or playing video games, immersing yourself in childlike joy can provide a much-needed escape from the pain of the breakup.

Volunteer Your Time: Helping others in need can be incredibly rewarding and can shift your focus away from your own pain. Consider volunteering at a local shelter, food bank, or community organization. Not only will you be making a positive impact, but you’ll also gain a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Try a New Hobby: Explore a hobby or interest that you’ve always been curious about but never had the time to pursue. Whether it’s learning to play a musical instrument, trying your hand at pottery, or taking up photography, immersing yourself in a new passion can reignite your zest for life.

Practice Gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have, fostering a sense of abundance and contentment.

Connect with Nature: Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Take a hike in the mountains, stroll along the beach, or simply sit in a park and soak up the beauty around you. Nature has a way of soothing the soul and putting things into perspective.

Dance It Out: Put on your favorite upbeat music and dance like nobody’s watching. Moving your body and releasing pent-up energy through dance can be incredibly cathartic and uplifting. Plus, it’s a fun way to boost your mood and shake off any lingering sadness.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend going through a tough time. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment or criticism.

Create a Vision Board: Visualize your dreams and aspirations by creating a vision board filled with images and quotes that inspire you. Whether it’s travel destinations, career goals, or personal achievements, having a visual representation of your hopes for the future can help reignite your sense of purpose and direction.

Explore Mindfulness and Meditation: Cultivate inner peace and self-awareness through mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, and body scanning. These techniques can help quiet the mind, reduce anxiety, and promote emotional healing.

Seek Professional Help if Needed: Finally, don’t hesitate to seek professional support if you’re struggling to cope with the aftermath of the breakup. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance, validation, and coping strategies to help you navigate this challenging time with grace and resilience.

In conclusion, healing after a breakup is a journey that requires patience, self-love, and an open mind. By incorporating these unexpected approaches into your healing process, you can find solace, strength, and ultimately, a renewed sense of joy and purpose.

This article aims to provide unconventional yet effective strategies for healing after a breakup, emphasizing the importance of self-care, self-discovery, and resilience.

[dranshulgupta]

This Functional Medicine Doctor is Flipping the Script on Modern Health Care

To remedy this, AnshulGuptaMD spent the next 20 years developing a model of solution-based, patient-centered care in his own practice. After witnessing higher levels of compliance, miraculous healing, and a renewed sense of purpose within his practice, AnshulGuptaMD began sharing his method of care with other practitioners and patients who were also looking for better solutions. Functional Medicine Doctor New York

We sat down with AnshulGuptaMD to ask a few questions about his approach as a functional medicine doctor, and to learn about his new startup, AnshulGuptaMD — an app and software platform launched in 2019 which aims to become the ZocDoc of integrative medicine.

What made you want to practice medicine?

As a medical student, I cherished the opportunity to study the art of medicine. Like countless others, I was motivated by a desire to help people and to assist in alleviating pain and suffering. I deeply wished to make a difference — and to make my own life meaningful.

However,

I was astounded at how little healing was actually being accomplished.

In medical school, role models were few, and the uncaring attitude of some specialists toward patients was shocking. I did my residency in Family Medicine, perhaps the most humane area of modern medicine, but I still found treatment options and modalities limited — and limiting.

What, in your mind, are some of the main limitations of conventional medicine?

As we enter a new millennium, we see the incredible advances brought about by medical technology. But, despite great breakthroughs, many people feel abandoned by conventional medicine. When someone is diagnosed with a disease pattern — such as chronic fatigue syndrome or low back pain — this person inevitably faces a sea of x-rays, lab tests, referrals, and consultations.

As I listened to my patients over the years, I discovered a whole new realm of treatment options not considered viable in my world of university medical centers. These “alternative” modalities consisted mostly of hands-on, non-invasive techniques and benign remedies seldom in conflict with conventional medicine. Nevertheless, they were at odds with its practitioners.

A new avenue was desperately needed. Everywhere, I encountered patient dissatisfaction, problem patching, fragmentation of therapies, skyrocketing costs, and compromised services within the managed care system. Meanwhile, what we call alternative or complementary medicine had exploded into a 27-billion-dollar industry — a figure comparable to the combined out-of-pocket expenditures of all U.S. physician services. Still, patients were left without a true alternative. That is, these treatment options merely perpetuated the same limited problem-oriented approach.

Nonetheless, people were flocking to unconventional types of health care, with or without a physician’s blessing. Why? I knew I needed to educate myself beyond what I had learned in medical school. So I began reading books, attending seminars, and conversing with naturopaths, chiropractors, and acupuncturists about more holistic possibilities.

What, in your mind, are the limitations of alternative medicine?

Alternative medicine, in combination with conventional allopathic care, has no doubt brought comfort, healing, and good health to millions around the globe. Nevertheless, alternative integrative health systems are not always a true alternative.

Many health care approaches may utilize holistic treatment options, but they often encompass the same philosophical approach to patient care: the problem-oriented approach.

For medicine to be a true alternative, physicians need to consider a new paradigm in patient care; to redefine health challenges as wellness solutions, and to provide partnership models within the patient-doctor relationship.

In your experience, which approach to medicine offers the greatest chance of healing?

I know of no better way to promote healthier living than by lifestyle modification. Yet too often, doctors are recruited to patch problems rather than to act as partners in helping our patients make significant, healthy lifestyle changes.

So, the most important component of any approach is to encourage patients to become proactive, to take responsibility and to assist in developing their own optimal health plans.

That’s the main thing we want to accomplish with AnshulGuptaMD. On a regular schedule, patients can review their progress with their primary care physician and discuss goals as they plan the next step.

This system applies medical technological advances appropriately and to the fullest while building upon doctor-patient relationships of trust to provide the most appropriate choices.

For More Info: Functional Medicine Doctor Houston

functional medicine doctor online consultation

Functional Medicine Doctor Los Angeles

Source Links: https://medium.com/@telmd/this-functional-medicine-doctor-is-flipping-the-script-on-modern-health-care-an-interview-with-dr-4b9b1970b598

[astrognossienne]

uranus or aquarius in the houses

Planetary expression in the houses differs slightly from sign expression. As I said previously:

Planet = What? Energy - what are you doing? Sign = How? Which way do you do it?

So here’s how the planetary influence of Uranus and its corresponding sign influence, Aquarius, function in the houses.

uranus in the houses:

1st house: You have always sought the freedom just to be yourself, even from an early age. Your mind is always on the move, always on the lookout for anything new. You make a better leader than a follower. Life will not be ordinary for you. You are a trailblazer. You disregard convention and conformity and aim to make your mark on the world in a radically different manner than the rest. This may have evidenced itself even as a child when you were restless, easily bored and resistant towards authority.

2nd house: You suffer from financial ups and downs. One minute good fortune smiles upon you, the next you seem to have unusual losses. You can be quite unconventional and inventive in your attitude towards financial matters and in the way you earn your money. You tend to have strong unconscious urges to break with past attachments. You strongly value freedom and want money for the freedom it can give you to pursue your own interests.

3rd house: You are a mental gymnast in the way your mind is so changeable and electrifying. You prefer to learn by experience and can be extremely independent and unorthodox in your thinking. Your ideas may be well ahead of their time and seem revolutionary. You may be highly strung and very outspoken. The conventional educational system may not have been well suited to your particular way of thinking and learning, and this may have left you feeling quite different or alienated from others around you. You like to move around and may experience unusual events on short journeys and everyday travel. Relationships between you and your brothers and sisters may be unusual.

4th house: Your domestic and private life may be quite unusual and unsettled. Whether through personal choice or unavoidable circumstances, your family may not have the same conventional structure or base as the rest of society. You tend to feel uncomfortable with domestic routine and family ties, and you are able to view your family in a detached, almost impersonal light. Sometimes you may even feel like an outsider to the rest of the family. If the Fourth House is taken to represent the father or father figure, then your father may be quite unconventional and erratic. Alternatively, you may perceive your father as inventive, original and free-thinking, and loving without being smothering.

5th house: You are extremely creative, original and artistic. The way you express yourself artistically may be unorthodox and shocking, or simply highly original. You need and demand a great amount of freedom of expression. Unconventional hobbies or fun interest you, as well as people with out of the ordinary personalities. Your love life may be extremely changeable and highly unconventional. If you have children, then they’ll be intelligent, original, stimulating and may be quite unusual. They may be difficult to rear, and your views on raising them may also differ from mainstream thought.

6th house: You can be unpredictable at work, or attracted to unusual or idealistic occupations. You bring a quality of unorthodoxy to your work and like to develop new techniques for use in the workplace. Routine is not attractive to you at work, so irregular work hours or schedules do not pose as much of a problem to you as they would to others. You may have unusual pets.

7th house: You don’t like the idea of being tied down and losing your emotional independence. In fact, you may find it difficult relating permanently to just one partner. Because you need your freedom so much, you are often attracted to people who don’t seem to require anything from you. Your partner may be quite unusual, even shocking to your parents, and you may have unusual conditions in your marriage. You tend to make and unmake partnerships without warning. If you find that the partnership or relationship is not creative, honest and exhilarating, you tend to disrupt it for something better. You seek a partner who is original, dynamic and charismatic, and who is able to offer you change and new experiences.

8th house: You are likely to have an eventful life. Anything odd or mysterious fascinates you. This, combined with your natural curiosity and impulsive nature, can result in you being involved in financially, physically or emotionally dangerous situations. Phases of your life may begin and end suddenly and irreversibly. An unforeseen event may drastically alter the direction your life is heading. Money comes to you from unusual sources. You need sexual variety and may be attracted to unusual sexual encounters. You may alternate between extremes of excessive passion and almost inhumane coldness. Psychic and telepathic experiences are not unusual for you.  

9th house: You like to travel on the spur of the moment, anticipating and enjoying the unusual experiences you undergo on your journeys which bring you fresh ways of viewing things. You believe in educational reform and may have experienced some sort of alternative education. Your progressive views also apply to the fields of politics and religion. You seek physical, mental and emotional freedom. This can lead to a feeling of not belonging anywhere, yet paradoxically, you still feel that you are connected to all things. You tend to have an unusual set of beliefs. You possess uncanny insight into future trends.  

10th house: You want to be appreciated for being different from the rest, a force for innovation and rebellion. You may have two or more career interests at any one time, which may themselves be unusual in some way. Unexpected career changes are likely. Your political views are likely to be radical or fairly liberal. If the Tenth House is taken to represent the mother or the mother figure, then you may see your mother as being slightly eccentric, or at least unconventional in some way. Alternatively, you may have picked up that your mother simply felt restless or rebellious within her defined role.    

11th house: You are open-minded and extremely idealistic in an impartial and detached way. You have a clear and unbiased perception of society as a whole, but your remedies to right the wrongs of the world may appear too radical and drastic to others. You are intuitive and compassionate. You shine most when taking part in group activities and you mix well in groups. You have few really close emotional ties despite your wide circle of acquaintances. You have lively and interesting aims in life and often unusual long-term goals. These goals could change radically in a relatively short span of time. Often your friends are very unusual.

12 house: You are a person who knows that there is more to life than is readily apparent, and the unusual and the unknown attract and fascinate you. You can be a little eccentric and quite impractical, but you have a strange and wonderful imagination. Your deep-seated reluctance to give up your independence may make it hard for you to settle down. Clairvoyant to a degree, or at the least with uncanny foresight, you are easily disturbed by negative feelings in the atmosphere. You are able to inventively approach the whole unconscious realm and delve into it.  

aquarius in the houses:

1st: When people describe you they will include such words as impatient, original, possibly eccentric. There is also an objectivity or aloofness that will be likely to be prominent in your character. This may attract those who want an impartial opinion because you can understand everyone's point of view. You will usually be fair and not take sides. An air of electricity and a flurry of activity frequently surround you. Your nonconformity may be apparent in your dress or in the way you wear your hair. So you may be individualistic in your behaviour, and/or the way you look.

2nd: As you determine your own unique resources and the values that they generate, a lifestyle will evolve that reflects this determination. Self-reliance and survival will be developed because of this determination: you will look to yourself within in order to do this. Thus this generates a relative non-dependence upon others to sustain yourself. This focus can also lead to joining hands with other like-minded people in order to effect survival relative to similar values; small group co-operatives or communities are examples.

3rd: You are quick to speak. So you may be considered outspoken, even to the point of being tactless. You’re more focused on freedom of speech than the impact upon the person with whom you are talking. You may think about the fairness of what you are saying, but not consider the sensitivity and feelings of those on the receiving end. When it comes to listening, you might not always have the patience to allow someone else to talk for too long, especially if that individual speaks slowly. Sometimes you simply enjoy playing Devil's Advocate. It is one way to determine what is right. You don't like to be told how or what to say or think.

4th: You may consciously or unconsciously break with tradition, you are most likely to operate differently from the way your family of origin did. In other words, there could be a number of changes in attitude in the home in the course of a lifetime. Although you want to express your individuality, making drastic changes too quickly could disorient you. You’re overly sensitive to criticism and have a bitter sort of humour. Generally not too happy or easy-going, you can be very hard to live with, as emotional complexes cause a lot of trouble. You often feel like a stranger in a strange land.

5th: You attract, or are attracted to, people who are creative, exciting, unusual, unreliable, distant or odd. You will probably crave some excitement when you interact with others. You lack self-discipline, as you can easily submit to passing love affairs and the attractions of a carefree life. There may be an element of immaturity and childlike displays of behaviour, often expressed at inopportune times which prompts others to demand that you grow up. You fall in love spontaneously, and your love life is unlikely to be static and stable. The need to have your own way - often expressed without due sensitivity - is quite common, and can also lead to friction.

6th: You constantly undergo disruptions in your daily life. This makes daily life unpredictable and exciting. You will probably try to avoid a highly structured daily schedule. You will want variety and challenge in the tasks to be accomplished in your workplace. You keep your distance from those with whom you work, be they bosses, subordinates or colleagues. You probably maintain a personal detachment, and form your close one-to-one relationships elsewhere. You do not want other people to tell you how to do your job, but you probably will not consciously seek out positions of authority either.

7th: You attract unstable partners who are as individualistic as yourself. You want the right to be yourself and you take it, so you must give that right to others. Only in mutual respect will your relationships thrive. You could go from one relationship to another, and from one extreme to the other, until you realize that you must share the requirements in that area with a mate, a best friend, or anyone else with whom you are intimately involved. You may decide not to form any intimate associations, feeling that your freedom is more important than any relationship. You might come to the conclusion that you can never have a lasting relationship.

8th: You have innovative ideas about joint projects and resources. You like to experiment in your sex life. You may enjoy sex, but you want it when, where and with whom you desire it. You can become cool and detached if you feel that your sexual partner considers you a sex object or tries to control you through sex. On the other hand, if you are respected and feel free in expressing your sexuality, your sex life can be very gratifying. You also want to be financially unencumbered. You might also find it difficult to share money or talents with others.

9th: You have a strong conservatism in your religious philosophy. You’re curious, but your nibble at life rather than experience it fully. You’re the type who likes to swim in uncharted waters, while still hugging the shore and not getting more than his toes wet. Your ideals are made practical and are put to great use as a teacher. You won’t have any philosophical idea pushed on you until you’re ready to accept it.

10th: You will be ingenious and original in your chosen profession. You may choose an unconventional career path. You want to make a contribution to humanity. You want to do publicly useful work that somehow reflects the hopes and wishes of the collective. Your ambitions are rarely secret. You openly state your aims and are helped to reach them by influential friends. You often seek out influential friends, since it gives you a sense of prestige and importance.

11th: You have friends of all kinds and enjoy group interests, but you’re discriminating and choose your friends, which usually fall into two groups: those you meet in your line of business, and those you meet unexpectedly at odd moments that you like spontaneously. You are interested in humanitarian concerns and have bigger objectives in life than others may think who consider you self-centered. You are indeed self-centered, but you go out from that center to help others.

12th: Often you will be pulled back towards the past, both because of the influence that it has on your current life, and as an escape from the present. You might spend your life being unhappy about your circumstances, wishing that somehow you could be freer. You’re more of a "closet rebel”, nourishing your differentness quietly, or perhaps deviously. Being covert, however, might give you feelings of guilt. This, in turn, could interfere with the personal gratification you should get from expressing your individuality.

[ddarker-dreams]

Sweet Talkin’. Yan Dabi x Reader [COMM]

There’s been an abnormal amount of sirens tonight.

It should be unnerving -- and to an extent it is -- but this isn’t what keeps you awake. Not that, or even the dogs barking outside accompanied with an occasional derogatory yell. With a heavy heart, you can say that you’ve gotten used to all of that noise. No, it’s something different that steals you from the welcoming comfort of a deep slumber. 

The thing that truly keeps you up is the anticipation of what is to come. Or more precisely, who. 

The bright glow of your phone strains your tired eyes, but it’s your best shot at finding entertainment. Squinting at the blinding light, exhaustion seeps into your being despite your best efforts to ward it off. No matter how much caffeine you drink later on in the day, it’s not enough to to thwart your natural inclinations to sleep.

For most, nighttime is a relaxing time of day that’s coveted. It brings a time of solitude, to reflect and rest up for the next day. While you wish you could return to the days where you felt like that, it’s long behind you now. Instead, you evade sleep, in fear of what could occur when you’re in the defenseless state. 

An illusion of control is better than none at all.

“You’re gonna get dark circles under those pretty eyes if you keep staying up this late.” 

A deep voice rumbles from the entrance to your shared room, one that you instantly recognize. Even in your groggy state, your emotions heighten in his presence. Turning off your phone and placing it down, you stretch your arms out, a yawn leaving your lips in the process.  

So he’s back. 

“Yeah, yeah…” you grumble back, caring little for the teasing comment. After feeling around your nightstand, a click resonates, light illuminating your room. Once your eyes adjust, you spot your unwelcome visitor, who makes himself at home. Dabi walks towards you, your bed creaking under his added weight as he sits down. Untying his shoes, he throws them carelessly in the corner.

Sensing your staring, he looks over his shoulder and grins at you. “Awe, you miss me or somethin’? How cute.” 

A groan leaves your lips, and you reach to throw a pillow at him. He easily deflects it with a snicker, working on taking his shirt off next. At least now that he’s back you feel more inclined to sleep, knowing that he can’t sneak up on you. Splatters of dark vermilion catch your attention, mouth curling downwards into a frown. 

If there’s anything you’ve learned in your time with Dabi, it’s that you shouldn’t ask where the blood stains come from. Ignorance is bliss, right? It’s still an unnerving sight, especially since you know it isn’t his. 

The relationship you two share is nothing if not unconventional. His occupation -- if you can even call it that -- has him coming and going at unholy times at night. Sleep is difficult to come by, not knowing when he might make an appearance. It’s what leads you to stay up some nights, a preferable experience to tossing and turning with anxious thoughts plaguing you.

As long as you stay in your designated place, Dabi holds true to his promise of doing you no harm. Thinly veiled threats under the pretense of being your “roommate” lead you to the current day, an awkward routine settling in. For all it’s worth, it could be worse. You’re acutely aware of what Dabi is capable of, having seen the ashes of corpses blurred out in the news. 

Why he’s taken a liken to you is beyond you. It still beats dying, only by a sliver. 

“There are some leftovers in the fridge,” you tap your phone, reading the time. Three in the morning. Great, and you have work tomorrow too. “I think I’ll give sleeping a shot now that you’re back.” 

Dabi raises an eyebrow at this, a fresh shirt without blood stains now on. “You always sleep when I get back. It hurts my feelings. What, am I not good enough company?”  

‘If I’m being honest, not really.’

He grins at how you shiver, lazily crawling over to be by your side. His sudden presence fills your nose with unknown scents, ranging from smoke to burnt leather. Underneath is hints of his cologne, all mixing together to disorient you further. Dabi loves riling you up, testing the limits of what you can handle. 

You take a deep breath, hugging your knees to your chest. As long as you don’t let it get to you, it’ll be fine. He always gets bored eventually, leaving you to do as you please. That’s what you’ll aim for.

“It’s not that. I just have stuff to do tomorrow, and I don’t like being exhausted. It’s my long shift.” 

His trademark grin melts away, furrowing eyebrows and a grimace taking its place. Mentioning your life outside of him is a tricky battle, and you can’t help but regret mentioning it. Being in a sleep deprived state is a major disadvantage in your interactions with him.

“This again? I thought I told you to quit. Rent or whatever won’t be an issue, I’ll handle it.” Dabi scoots closer to you, wrapping an arm around your bare shoulder. His skin feels rough against yours, coarse hands rubbing circles into  you. You bite your lip at the sensation, hair on the back of your neck standing. 

“I... I like my job. Sure, it can be irritating at times, but it gives me something to do during the day. I’d go stir crazy without something concrete to focus on.” The words are heartfelt, unfiltered. When he responds in silence you worry you’ve made a mistake, upsetting him with your defiance.

He huffs against your neck, lifting his head and shooting you a displeased look.  His voice is a low murmur, one that reverberates into the core of your very being. “Always making trouble for me..." 

Dabi’s grip around you tightens, and you gulp thickly. With how casual he speaks to you, it can be easy to forget the major power imbalance. Instead of greeting you with insults, or worse, he lightly flicks your forehead.

You blink, baffled.

“Don’t most people hate their jobs? I figured you’d be jumping at the idea of having more free time, or whatever. So you can focus on other things.” 

It’s not a confession you were expecting, your cheeks flushing at the considerate nature of his words. While it’s true quitting your job is an appealing thought, it creates a semblance of balance within your now chaotic life. Helping you stick to a schedule, in the same way school used to. 

Now feeling confident in expressing yourself, your taut muscles relax into his touch. “I’m too tired to think about it properly, if I’m being honest. I don’t know how you can stay up this late all the time without losing it.” 

Deflecting from the previous topic makes you feel better. If Dabi notices your intentions he doesn’t point them out, allowing you to take control of the conversation without complaint. He must prefer it over when you’d just shake and cry in his presence.

“You get used to it, sweetheart,” he drums his fingers against you, smirking. “I’ll make a night owl outta you yet.” 

Any implications in his words go straight over your head.

“As tempting an offer as that is, I think I’ll pass. ” 

He shrugs at your indifference, removing his arms from your frame. The lack of enveloping warmth causes you to shiver, Dabi searching through his bag. You peak over his shoulder out of curiosity, his scarred hands settling on an object which he pulls out. 

It’s a copy of Animal Crossing, in all of its beautiful glory. You wipe your eyes, unsure if what you’re seeing is reality.

“W-what?” you guffaw before your brain has the chance to stop you, jaw agape and head tilted. Dabi places it on your lap, and returns to his previous position of holding you. There’s clear amusement in his eyes at your stunned state, relishing in your every reaction.

“Did I get the wrong thing? This is that game you wanted, isn’t it?” 

It had to have been a week or so ago. You lamented to him about not being able to afford this, not even realizing he was giving it any attention. To think he remembered, and acted on it for your sake... is a touching sensation. Maybe he is capable of selflessness after all.

The cute box art puts a smile on your face, one that Dabi stares at. 

“I have to say, I’m surprised,” you pick it up, looking at the back with wide eyes. “Did the cashier give you a funny look when you picked this out?” 

‘I really need to start thinking before I speak.’

He shakes his head at your blunt comment, not taking any offense. “I didn’t get it that way.”

‘Oh, well... better not ask more than necessary. There’s no blood on it so at least that’s a good sign.’

Wiggling free from his grip, you rotate your legs over the side of the bed, intent on getting your switch. An opportunity like this must be taken advantage of, and you’ve wanted to play this game for some time now. Dabi must’ve read your mind, and pulls you back to him with little effort before you get the chance. 

“If I remember correctly, you said you were tired just a few minutes ago.” 

He plucks the game from your fingers, and places it on the side furthest from you. What a cruel world this is, to have paradise so close and yet so far. You can’t help the pout that forms at his actions.

“The situation changed, I’m wide awake now.” you explain to an unmoved Dabi, launching over his lap to get your coveted game back. He picks it up, lifting it over your head with a chuckle. So that’s how it’s going to be. 

Defeat settling in, you retreat for now. A sigh leaves your lips, arms crossing over your chest. You should’ve known better, Dabi has made it clear to you that he wants your attention. Looks like you’ll have to wait until after work to get a taste of Animal Crossing. 

There’s a glint of mischievous in his azure eyes, one that you’ve seen more often than you wish. Dabi sighs in mock hurt, placing a hand over his heart. “Not even so much as a thank you for my efforts. That’s cold, babe. Real cold.” 

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Thank you, it means a lot.” 

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue. “That’s not what I was looking for. Try again, sweetheart.” 

A flurry of thoughts fly through your mind, all competing with one another to offer a solution. Does he want money for it? He should know that you’re not capable of producing that amount, or you would’ve bought the game for yourself. Dabi gives you a moment to think, before offering the answer to you.

He puts his pointer finger on your lip, maintaining eye contact while doing so. 

“Oh, t-that.”

“So glad to see that you’re finally catching on.” 

It could be the summer heat winning over your AC, the room suddenly feeling warmer than it did a few moments prior. You look down at your blankets, focusing on anything other than the person in front of you. This level of teasing is nothing new with Dabi, he always manages to fluster you. 

He sits, relaxed, waiting for you to make a move. There aren’t any other options that you can think of, so you give into what he wants. Moving closer to his face, you feel his warm breath fanning against your skin. Your hand twitches, pressing against his chest to offer balance.

Squeezing your eyes closed, you tilt your head, soft lips brushing over his own. All of your movements are hesitant, your entire body feeling like it’s on fire. Heart pounding violently against your chest, you move to pull back. Only to discover his hand on the back of your head is stopping you from doing so.

Dabi slants his lips back over your own, nibbling your bottom lip. You freeze, the unexpected affection leaving you incapable of reacting. It’s when you squeak that he finally loosens his grip, opening his eyes to take in your embarrassed countenance. 

All things considered, it wasn’t an unpleasant experience. 

You cover your burning face with your shaking hands, feeling the warmth emanating off of you. He makes it even worse by chuckling, the low rumble filling you with indignation. There never is hope of catching a break with Dabi. 

“You might be the one with a fire quirk after all,” he leans forward, placing a hand against your hot forehead. “Mm... that look you’re giving me is too much. You have to be doing it on purpose at this point.” 

Fed up with his relentless teasing, you smack his hand away and purse your lips. He props his arms behind his head, letting you glare at him to your heart’s content. From his lack of reaction, you get the feeling he isn’t too intimidated by you. 

“Whatever, I’m going to bed,” you huff, returning to your side and pulling up the blankets. He doesn’t make a move to stop you, and you take the opportunity to lay down on your side. Refusing to look at him, you focus on the wall. 

Dabi pokes your cheek, which you ignore. 

He lets out a long sigh at your antics, joining you underneath the covers. You hear shuffling behind you, and can’t help but wonder what it is that he’s up to. Maybe he’s succumbing to his own exhaustion, and will let you sleep in peace? What a perfect world it’d be if that’s the case.

The thought is entertained for three seconds before you’re pulled against his firm chest from behind, toned arms snaking around your torso and staying there. His body is always so warm. It doesn’t help that you’re already embarrassed from before. Dabi grumbles something incoherent, placing his head in the crook of your neck. 

Accepting the situation for what it is, you stop moving. He reaches over you to turn off the light, and darkness surrounds you once more. All you can hear are your own labored breaths, and rapidly pounding heart. It might be impossible to sleep like this. 

You’ll call out of work for tomorrow. 

“... Dabi?” you whisper, voice soft and barely audible. He grunts in response, nuzzling further into your neck. For the past few months, there’s been a thought that haunts you at every turn. One that you can never find an answer to, and have been too frightened to investigate beyond your own musings.

It’d be easy to play this off as sexual attraction alone, yet a voice in the back of your head says otherwise. That what Dabi feels for you goes beyond that, into a sinister territory that you want desperately to avoid. Why is it he’s patient -- borderline kind -- with you, yet cruel to everyone else? None of it makes logical sense, his actions erratic and seemingly without reason.

Maybe you shouldn’t know. Still, you ask, against your better judgement. 

“Why do you like me so much?” 

You feel how he smiles against the skin of your neck, the sensation stirring up unknown emotions within. He squeezes you against him once, letting out a low hum as he considers your words. While waiting for him to speak, you hold in a breath. 

“Dunno. Just do,” Dabi offers a noncommittal response, one that leaves you greatly unsatisfied. It seems he’s not even aware of it himself, the effect you have on him unlike anything he’s ever experienced. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” 

“... Alright, I won’t.” 

“Good. Now get some sleep, before I ask you to kiss me again.” 

[kiingocreative]

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But First, Self-Reflection

Do you ever have people asking you questions about your writing ­like “How did you do develop this villain?” Or “How did you create this world?” – and you realize you don’t have a black and white answer? For me, this is often the case. Readers constantly ask me how I developed my characters in Age of The Almek, and, for a long while, I didn’t have an answer on precisely how I went about it. My writing process is messy and unconventional, especially because I am a discovery writer. But, I think this is also because it���s an intuitive experience–things just either feel right, or they feel wrong. So often my response to the question on how I develop my characters has been that I assign a feeling to them. This feeling is not really labelled. Sometimes because of my heavy intuition things don’t need labels, they just need to make sense in my head and work on the page.

Once I assign this feeling to a character, I aim to create that feeling for the reader and for the other characters in the book. It’s especially important for the other characters to feel that same way in the presence of said character, except in a situation where a character is being manipulated and the reader knows more than them. (There are many exceptions beyond that.)

I’m an INFP, if that means anything to you, you’ll know that as an INFP “feeling” is tied to a large part of my brainwork and experiences. But, I realized I needed to do some self-reflection on the other things that contribute to my character building because of the number of times I’ve been asked about it (nervously tugs on collar of shirt). But I’m not here to only talk about feelings today.

The Sibling Hierarchy and Why It’s a Helpful Tool

As you know if you read my last article, I’m the youngest of five girls. For some reason I assume that statement alone offers a general sense of how busy a household it was. It was indeed busy and emotionally challenging, but it was also incredibly fun and I wouldn’t change it for the world. As I grew, this childhood experience had me curious about the complexities of sibling relationships. How you can love someone but hate them, want to protect them but also want to beat them to a pulp. Thankfully these drastic feelings shift as we get older and (marginally) wiser, but those rooted experiences and memories –– the good and the bad ­­–– stay with us.

I once read My Self, My Sister by Vikki Stark. This book was eye-opening, as it helps the reader recognize how “their role in the family influences their interactions with friends and colleagues”. It helped me understand how large families typically operate (obviously there is no black and white and always exceptions) and how there is something called a sibling hierarchy, or birthing order. Each child: eldest, middle and youngest have certain roles they typically fall into and with said roles, they often have specific habits, behaviours and traits. It also explores only children and twins, but if I remember correctly it does not explore split/broken families (don’t quote me on that last part).

In laymen’s terms, here is some brief points of what I took away from this read:

The Eldest Child

I learned that eldest siblings are often seen as the surrogate parent – especially when they are female – and they often look after the younger ones. Typically this sibling is very close with the parent(s) and is often given much more responsibility. A very helpful-around-the-house child, that often holds seniority over the rest, and likely because of their nurture they grow thinking they always have all the answers. Often this sibling can grow to be very supportive and nurturing to their younger ones. On the other side of the spectrum, some can foster jealous feelings of how easy the younger ones appear to have it.

The Middle Child

The middle is typically the mediator, used to getting along with everyone–older and younger–and fills in as care-taker when needed. This sibling is generally very adaptable but often gets over looked in a busy household. Going out of their way to prove they’re worthy of attention can be a mindset, but they pride themselves in being different from the rest and so they often go their own way and veer off from family customs.

The Youngest Child

The youngest is often seen as the cutest, kindest and most-loving, and typically has the least amount of responsibility. Things seem to come more easily to them, partially do the fact that they get to watch their older siblings make mistakes and watchful youngest’s learn from their siblings’ experiences. Often close to the parent(s), and often seen as spoiled and in some instances selfish or “bratty” this sibling can be dependent on others and constantly looking for guidance.

All of this information is me paraphrasing things I have learned, of course, and things that I take with me as I build sibling relationships in my work. Again, I don’t believe anything is black and white, so this break down is really just meant to offer guidance with sensible points.

The Sibling Hierarchy Put to Practice

Here is an example on how I put this framework into play in my writing:

In my debut novel Age of The Almek, there is an older sister, younger brother sibling dynamic and it was a blast to play around with while considering the hierarchy structure that I shared above. Vera is the eldest, the surrogate parent with a ton of responsibility. There is this expectation (from her parents, but also that she’s placed upon herself) that she will fill her father’s role and cure the water. Protecting her families’ name, pleasing her parents and keeping a close eye on her teenaged brother Atticus are among her top priorities. With this personality comes the mindset that she knows best, and that her intelligence far out-weighs those around her. But, what she doesn’t consider is that there are many different forms of intelligence, not one more significant than the next. There are other personality traits that ripple-effect from this general frame-work of Vera. She perceives that she is so important that she doesn’t have time to deal with the emotions and feelings of others, nor does she trust others very easily. All of this creates a character who really struggles to cope with her own emotions, and yet she can fulfill her professional duties to no end. This also translates into a character who, although she disagrees greatly with the ways of The Almek and their Masters, she keeps her mouth closed, puts her head down and does her work.

Atticus is the seventeen-year-old character perspective and the youngest of the two in the North household. This character is slightly more entitled in the sense that if he doesn’t want to do something, he is more likely to not do it. This may mean at times that his older sister picks up his slack. It is not that this is a lazy character by any means, he feels, whether he sees it or not, that he should be able to just create his own place in the colony. The same goes for things that he wants to do that he shouldn’t––he’s likely going to find a way to do it. This is a more spontaneous, temperamental teenager with fluctuating hormones. He is the cause of a lot of trouble and adventure as his curiosity gets the best of him. He is quite the opposite of Vera when it comes to emotions and feelings – Atticus is in tune often with himself and those around him. He will speak his mind, with reason. He will trust until he’s given a reason not to. He disagrees with their way of life, but he wants to understand it. This all translates into a youngest sibling who doesn’t necessarily view his decisions as selfish, and even though they aren’t selfishly driven, perhaps sometimes they are selfish because they are impulsive decisions that have not been thought all the way through and may result in him putting himself and others in danger.

Take What You Like and Leave The Rest

In case you’re sick of hearing about my characters, I’ll put the character descriptions to bed and close with this:

My Self, My Sister is not claiming that “this is how everyone is” with an absolute approach, it is based off of studies done by the author and her own personal experiences and training. I took what resonated with me for my own life and for my writing and left the rest. Of course, it is not the only way or the best way to build siblings or characters. For all of us, so much goes into building our characters–conscious and subconscious. For me, I think the sibling hierarchy was merely the start, the thing that got their sibling relationship moving and grooving. It was as the story evolved (through many drafts), that their relationship began to “macarena” on the page.

Basically, the birthing order is like the fertilizer that helps the seedling of who a character is going to be, grow. Character A may need more fertilizer than character B. Maybe character C doesn’t even need fertilizer. Like in my last article, I mentioned I also ask myself a ton of self-help inspired questions for my characters. In order to tap into their mental state and character traits, it can be important to understand their nature vs nurture, previous traumas and fears, etc. Sometimes these questions don’t come up for certain characters until I’m well into a work. Writing is an artform, and I don’t believe there are strict rules that need following, but tools in which a writer can utilize when and as needed.

There is no doubt sibling relationships are complicated, and there are no two the same. Why not get curious about them? You may find that reading self-help will improve the sibling relationships you put on the page. And, if you’re a sibling yourself, with some hard work you may just get the added benefit of improving your own relationships and self along with it.

[poptod]

The Breeding Kings, pt. 21

Description: The Hanging Gardens of Babel

Notes: there is an innate human need to be remembered for both accomplishments and person; for those thousands of years from now to look back and know that people have always been human. WC: 6.9k

+

He'd trained before, but this was different.

For one, he didn't usually have an audience, and second, he didn't usually have to respect his teacher, either. Tall buildings and their shadows that once surrounded them were now turned to dead gardens outside the manor of his employment, acting as a 'private' circle of study surrounded by the half-wall around the property.

He panted as he lifted himself to his feet, taking up his staff once more. The trainer was the head guard, Urtak, a man who Ahk was pretty sure did not like him, and who did nothing to try and negate that belief. Sometimes Ahk would complain about this to you and you'd try to comfort him, but now you just laughed whenever the guard knocked him to his back.

"Come now, Aganu," Urtak said, pacing and slamming the end of his staff against the hard ground, crackling into the dry earth. "Can't expect to protect Ukani's home and guests with this technique."

"I do not speak Akkadian," Ahk repeated for the fourth time that day, grunting as he jumped up again.

"He is saying you are a pussy!!" You yelled in Egyptian from the servant's quarters' roof.

"Thank you, Yogi," Ahk called sarcastically, a bitter smile on his face.

Ahk cast one annoyed glance in your direction before Urtak's staff was hooking behind his knee again, forcing him to the ground, again. His hands were scratched, red, and dry, irritated further by the rough ground and spiky plants below him. He took a deep breath––or as deep a breath as he could in the dust cloud––and took up his spear once more, facing Urtak with a malice lacing his parted lips. Years spent training would aid him now, but he drew a blank on how to approach his opponent.

Urtak's staff came whizzing down from above, aiming directly for his skull. Instinctively, Ahk whipped his own spear up, dislocating the staff's projectory. The guard tried a couple more times, coming down upon his midsection or legs in hopes of knocking Ahkmen back down to the ground. This time he blocked––though, it did take him a few more moves before he realized he could now parry in return.

Before attempting to strike at his side in any way, or to knock his balance off kilter, he stabbed the blunt end of his staff into Urtak's stomach, punching the breath out of him.

A distant 'WHOOO!' came from behind him and he laughed, glancing to you in time to see your grin and a lute swinging about in your hand. It gave ample distraction that led to Urtak taking revenge in an unconventional manner when it came to staff fights; he punched him in the face.

Ahkmen groaned loudly as he stumbled back, still on his feet but with his hands covering his nose and mouth. Something warm was dripping from his nose, and as he pulled his hands away he found blood, coating his skin in thick drops.

"Aaaaaand," your lute began to play a joyous little tune as you sang, "he get fuck in the face!"

"Those aren't even words!" Ahk yelled back through his laughter.

"Pay attention," Urtak said stiffly, bringing his staff to backslap Ahk's head.

Of course training had to come just when his bruises and aches were healing from falling over a tarp fence taller than his whole body. Now everything was back tenfold, aching from old pain and biting from new. The only good part was that now you were both being paid, meaning you could afford a couple luxuries, such as a lavender healing ointment you found on your way home from the brewery that day.

Ahkmen spent a good deal more of his freetime sleeping than you did, napping beneath the warm, mud roof, but safe from the burning rays of the sun. Birds tweeted about outside, their songs muffled through the thick walls. Flies managed to get inside. To his fortune, no one else was in the servant's quarters, and he could splay out on the biggest bed. He continued to doze in the warmth, resting his creaking joints until footsteps sounded through the dry underbrush, crunching beneath small feet.

"Aganu?" Came your soft voice, your knuckles knocking against the cool, clay doorway.

He let out a muffled moan, regretfully moving himself to sit up straight.

"How've you been, my dear?" He asked, sniffing to clear his still-bloody nose.

"Better than you," you said as you knelt beside him.

You carried several different things in your hands, including a damp cloth, a bandage, a small bottle of honey, and the ointment you bought without him.

"What's that?" He asked.

"For the scraping," you said, taking his hand and resting it in your lap palm up.

The cork popped out of the jar, tossed onto the bed as you poured some of the ointment onto your hands. Ahk watched in interest as you took his hand, washing his skin with the cool mixture, and partially burning the more sensitive cuts. He hissed as you passed over the largest.

"Do you think that this is good for you?" You asked as you looked up.

"What, the ointment or –"

"The fighting," you chuckled.

"Ah. Well, it has been good to rehearse some of my moves," he said with a shrug.

You nodded, continuing to massage the red marks.

"Then I can protect you better," he said.

"My little boy," you grinned, pinching his cheek with your lotion-clad fingers. He scrunched up his face, wiping the treatment away.

"I'm not a little boy," he said flatly.

"But you are my – or, mine," you said.

"A little." He nodded vaguely.

Your affections had been switching unpredictably the last few days, since around when he snuck into the King's garden, so he never knew how to react to certain things you said. Sometimes you would snap at him for things he hadn't ever considered, but other times, like this, you tied him to you, caring for wounded muscles and mind.

Once you were done with both his hands, you moved on to his scuffed knees, and gently rubbed the ointment in there. Again he flinched back, but you held him tight in place.

"What are you going to be doing for the party?" He asked after a few minutes of silence, spent convincing himself it'd be odd to reach forward and tangle his fingers in your unkempt hair.

"I am with the beer, and the food," you said, glancing up sparingly. "I am one of the people who does not talk the whole time."

"Oh, don't worry," he sighed, sitting back. "So am I."

It'd be the first event Ahk ever attended where he wasn't expected to look like a God, or to perform some heavenly speech that assured the listening people of his nation.

Later that same day it would be announced to the staff at large that a member of the royal family would be attending as an honored guest of the estate owner's––whose name was Ukani––three, triplet daughters. It was the first time Ahk had seen the identical girls, though you had clearly met them before judging by your glazed over expression. It was also announced that because of this, all the servants and guards would have to be wearing proper attire––something that fit a nobleman's party better than plain skirts and dirtied dresses.

Every servant in line let out a long groan, though most were subdued in the face of the stewardess. She glared down each of you thoroughly.

"I'm sure you'll be glad to learn these will be supplied for you. You won't need to get anything on your own," she said, and everyone seemed to fare much better with that.

She drilled into the eleven of you standing in that line––including yourselves and the other four new recruits–-that respect of the family and their friends was vital, and that employment would not last should that respect be breached. Ahkmen wondered as he watched her steely eyes if guards and servants were treated like this in his own home by the overseers; his personal servant, Naguib, hadn't said anything about it. Then again, Ahk never asked.

You were soon dismissed, and you and Ahk immediately went to each other.

"I do not like this," you said, crossing your arms. Clearly the dress code bothered you, even if it was financially stable.

"Don't worry," he chuckled, "I'm sure you'll look fine."

"I am not a doll."

"Really? You're small enough to be one –"

Before he could laugh at his own joke you punched him in the gut, laughing when he clutched his stomach. Of course, it didn't hurt all that much, but it did take him greatly by surprise.

Steaming buns filled with mashed dates smelled more heavenly than he ever could've imagined. The shop was only across the plaza from the brewery, as well––it gave him an ample opportunity to dash over, purchase a couple, and run back before you finished preparing the same batch throughout the ten you were starting today. Experiments never ended with you––continuous tests and studies had to be conducted.

He jogged down the steps, ducking beneath the tarp doorway with a cloth sack in hand; within it, the buns. The scent of broiling beer wafted thick in the small stirring room, the many fires of different bubbling pots warmed the area as well, and the heat remained trapped beneath the tarp ceiling. Sunlight poured in through gaps between the ceiling and the wall, illuminating wisps of smoke rising from a small plate of incense burning opposite the entrance. A few of the brewers discussed things quietly among themselves as he passed. Familiarity became this room; humid, almost unpleasantly warm, and smelling of nothing more than sweet, honeyed beer. And you.

"How's it coming?" Ahk asked, stopping in front of your stand, the warm desert in his hand clutched to his chest.

"Good, I am with the, uh..." you paused as you pumped the stir stick up and down through the thick malt, "the saffron."

"Smells nice," he said, earning a smile from you.

"Thanks many," you said.

He chuckled, shifting his weight as he looked bashfully down.

"Oh, I got you something," Ahk said after seeing the pouch again. He released the drawstring, pulling out one of the buns.

"Oooh," you said as you took it. "What is it?"

"Some sort of date dessert, I don't think I've ever tried one of these before."

Within the date paste were chewy nuts which, after a moment, tasted distinctly like pistachios. You hummed pleasurably with your first bite, your cheeks puffing out with how massive of a bite you'd taken.

Conversation continued throughout the couple rows of stirring pots, must of the words muffled beneath the churning of beer. Ahkmen finished his bun quicker than you did, and spun slowly round to scan the room before his attention fell back to you, watching as you finished.

"Good?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Very," you assured him.

More murmurs and whispers had him turning around again, trying to look for who was speaking in such noticeable whispers.

"What do you talk about all day with these people?" Ahk asked as he spun back round to you, his hands on his hips.

"I do not talk much," you admitted. "I do not talk good in Akkadian, but I do hear what they say."

"So... what do they talk about?"

"Oh, they have parents, and children, and lovers... and they have the beer, also. They, uh.. they do talk about you," you added hesitantly.

"Me?" He asked incredulously.

He turned around and, sure enough, two women's eyes darted from the back of his head down to their work.

"Wait, why?" He asked, suddenly horrified by the products of his imagination. So much so that he didn't notice his hands gripping the lip of your pot, soon to be burned by the heat. Once he noticed, he ripped his hands away, scanning the red marks on his palms

"Aganu, do not do that," you said in a tired sigh, clunking the spoon down in the bowl.

You stepped down from your stool, taking him by his wrist and leading him over to a corner of the brewery stocked with shelves. The class and clay bottle clinked together brightly as you shuffled through them, expertly finding a small, black bottle with an equally adorable cork. A pop came from it as you pulled it out, placing your finger over the mouth and shaking it upside down.

"What is that?" He asked quietly as he looked over your shoulder.

"It is an oil, for burns," you said, concentrating greatly as you organized the cork, the bottle, and your oil-covered finger onto one hand.

"Oh. Does it happen a lot?"

"Yes," you said with an irate groan that had Ahk chuckling. "Harmu come in here and make love words with the women, and – and take them off the beer, and that makes the batch fail. That is a lot of barley, gone."

"Ah," he breathed out.

While you talked you took his hand, displaying the burnt palm and coating it with the oil on your finger. Since there was only a little bottle of it, you used very little with each dip into the oil, and thus had to flip the bottle much more frequently over your finger.

"It is still okay to eat, but it is not good at all," you said, shaking your head.

"You've tried it then?"

"I have smelled it," you said.

He belted out a laugh.

"Am I one of the... what did you call them? Harmu?"

"Yes, uh... fuck, what is it in Egyptian?" You closed your eyes, your face screwed up in a frown. "I can only remember the Akkadian and the Harappan."

"But am I one of them?

You looked up, almost surprised by his question.

"Oh, no, you do not make love with women here," you said.

Ahkmen sighed very, very deeply, just barely staunching the circus of laughter in his chest.

"Please don't say that again."

The whole of the incident was forgotten by the time you were walking home, bathed in the shadow of the tall city walls. Most of the stores you passed were now closed, making way for warm nights and a hot meal, the latter of which you looked forward to. It took a little getting used to, but eventually the porridge-type beer served at the estate rubbed off on you.

Until then, you wandered through the streets of Babylon, absorbing the colors bursting around you, before sinking into the quiet of night once more.

By the time the stone walls of the estate came into view, life around you had dimmed into such quiet moments resigned to the windows of nearby houses. Crickets chirped in the absence of thundering footsteps.

Neither of you spoke much––sometimes commentating on stray cats or dogs, or the bugs that jumped in and out of view, but little more than that. Part of it was Ahkmen's doing, as he was usually the first to say something, and as of right now he was far too absorbed in his own thoughts to make any such conversation. But, like usual, he was still engrossed in you, dreaming of something that came to his sleepy mind a few hours ago.

"Husband!" You suddenly exclaimed, your eyes widening as recognition washed over you.

"What??"

"That is the word I did not know, harmu, it is husband," you said with a grin.

"Ohh," he said. "You scared me."

"Sorry," you said, and leant into him, holding his arm to your chest.

Ah, right. That's what a heart palpitation felt like, beating wildly in his chest at the feeling of your heat. Even in the warm evening he revelled in the touch. So maybe it was alright, he reasoned––maybe you really had forgiven him, and done readily so, leaving Ahk himself to build this discomfort in your presence that fed off his uncertainty.

Perhaps he should live more in the moment––that is what he thought, and he debated it greatly during your small dinner atop the servant's quarters roof.

The two of you chewed in silence for a little while, enjoying the warmth of the porridge as quiet murmurs below you broke the creaking of crickets. Someone down in the quarters was plucking at a lute, but made no particular melody, and Ahk imagined them leant back on their bed, their head pressed against the wall and their eyes closed as they played. It'd been a while since he'd heard you play, and he'd never heard you actually sing before for purposes other than making fun of him.

While he listened he stared ahead at the city's silhouette, from the dips marking streets to the towers reaching the Milky Way. He squinted to see the steps of a pyramid––not entirely unlike the step pyramid of Djoser––and frowned when he couldn't identify its' use. Temples were built in the form of ziggurats in Babylon, not pyramids.

It hit him after a few more seconds of staring, and before he could think it through he blurted something out that he couldn't quite hear.

"I think we should go see one of the gardens here," he said, recogniing the vines and flora that draped from the steps of the tower. "They've been taunting me lately with their grandeur."

You chuckled, leaning back and saying, "okay... but I have garden work, here, tomorrow."

"Of course. Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, always," you said with a nod.

"You said the women talk about me. What do they say?" He asked.

"Oh," a smile spread across your face as you looked away, "oh, not any words too bad. It is... you do not speak Akkadian, that is not right for them, you know? And you do have clothes a little... um, not Karanduniash. You speak only to me and all you say to them is I do not know Akkadian in Akkadian. That is also a little..."

"Strange?" He offered.

"A little," you nodded, shrugging in hopes of lessening the blow.

"I've never been strange before," he said quietly.

"What?" You looked up from the floor to meet his eye.

"Well, my father was rich so a lot of people treated me with great respect. If I wanted to I could have had hordes of friends and followers, so it was definitely my own choice to stay to myself," he said, gesturing vaguely with his hands as he spoke and you nodded along with him.

"I had thought people did not like you," you admitted.

"What, why??" He said, suddenly horrified. His reaction had you belting out a laugh.

"You had one, mean friend, and Panya did not like you, too," you said with another apologetic shrug.

"Well when you put it like that," he said, and the both of you devolved into giggles.

When you calmed down there was less space between you, your dishes set to the side as you inched closer.

"Did Panya ever talk about me?" He asked, inquisitive eyes scanning you thoroughly.

"A little," you nodded. "She says... you did mean things when you were.. young. Piye did, too."

"Piye said I was a bad person?"

"No, only that you had things when you were young," you assured him. "But good things, also. You are... kind, in heart."

Your attention glazed over, and Ahk watched with uncertainty as you reached forward, setting your hand over his trembling heart. He could feel your hand moving with how hard his heart beat, trying desperately to calm himself as skin met flushed skin.

Fingers trailed down his bare chest until you withdrew your hand entirely, finally looking back up at him with gleaming eyes.

"I think you are good, still if you say the words wrong, you are good at heart," you said in a sudden need to assure him of his own humanity.

It acted as an apology in your eyes, but to him he saw nothing but love, and his heartbeat increased tenfold. What summer nights brought about amidst the bugs and acquaintances murmuring below.

Coins jingled in his pocket as he made his way through the streets, weaving through thick crowds to reach the center marketplace. He bid good-bye to you several minutes earlier, leaving you to work on the estate's garden, while Ahkmen enjoyed his freetime away from the masters. His clothes, perfectly suited to blend in with the locals, also hid away his various bags of grain and coins that he would use as payment, and the dagger strapped to his hip.

There was no particular aim he had in mind as he walked, eyes darting from the indecipherable shop signs to the various people spending their morning out on the streets. He would, at times, come across small trios or couplets of musicians who filled up the space between loud conversations, bringing to the chaos a sort of art. High flutes played in tune with deep lyres, the instruments made of a cheaper wood more easily afforded by the lower classes. But the bustle of traders and merchants could still be heard clearly throughout the noise, calling out prices and wares, and advertising the many products sold within the streets of Babylon.

Babylon had, like Egypt, somehow retained much of its' prosperity despite the trying times. Rapiqum and the cities of Canaan––Jericho and Jerusalem––suffered much worse; a lack of water befalling the people who resided in the starved cities. But the river Euphrates never strayed from Babylon, and had continued to run through the city in plentiful waves.

The water of the Euphrates was said to be tears. Tears from the primorial Goddess, whose name Ahk couldn't recall. He frowned as he looked over the edge of the terrace, leaning on a white stone railing that separated him from a ten foot drop into the swirling waters below, lined with the blue tile of the city's gates. From the even decorations on either side, Ahk correctly assumed that it marked the water level of a typical year; the water currently ran an arm's length below the mark. He let out a long sigh, his fingers digging into the railing.

At the sight of this Ahk couldn't help but imagine the Nile falling to such depths. Each year brought forth a differing inundation, making it hard to truly worry about the water level. But years of this would dry the farmlands, polluting the cities with dry, infertile dirt, and ridding of the already scant shade along the Nile's shores. Birds would leave in droves, and antelope would follow the scent of water to more fruitful lands.

He didn't notice how tight his grip on the rail grew until the plaster cracked, the pop drawing his attention back to his intense glare and gritted jaw. A couple of the people stopping at the riverside gave him odd looks, some of them scooting away from him, at which point he released all the tension in his body and stepped quickly away, heading back into the western city.

He once again found himself in one of the city's many center circles, allowing shopfronts to spread out in multitudes to present their wares. Nearly all the shops were open at this time, since it was around noon, and Ahk could hardly hear his own thoughts with the rampant conversation and shouts surrounding him. A headache sprouted in his knotted brow from the confused––or irritated––expression on him.

"Lost, are you?"

"Who the f–"

Ahk whipped around to see who had spoken, mostly because it was in Egyptian, only to find a dissapointingly familiar face.

"Oh. You," Ahk said stiffly, crossing his arms as he stopped dead in the center of the moving crowd, the Kassite Prince standing across from him with a smile.

"I thought you looked a little lonely out here," he said, taking several, leisurely steps forward. "All by yourself."

"Listen, you and I do not know each other," Ahk said, taking his movement as a challenge and stepping forward till he truly faced the shorter prince. "Stop talking to me in public."

"You should feel honored I ever speak to you at all," he retorted.

Ahkmen internally groaned. Did others feel this way when they spoke to him during his childhood? The Kassite Prince did seem to be a little younger than Ahk, though not by much.

"Don't you have Kings in Egypt?" the Prince continued.

"Pharaohs. And I'm fully aware they do, I just never liked them," Ahk lied sourly, his lips pursed tight together.

"That gold on your arm says otherwise," he said, gesturing with his chin to the gold band wrapped round his bicep.

"Who even are you?"

"The Prince, you –"

"I know that," Ahk interrupted him. "I meant your name."

The Kassite Prince hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by the question.

"You know what? I don't care," Ahk said after another second of silence, throwing his hands up in the in defeat, and turning round and walking away.

"Hey!" The prince called out in a whine, but the crowd already welled up in the space between them. "My name's Rimush!"

"And my name's Fuck You," Ahk muttered beneath his breath.

Incense from Elam. Considering your interest in other cultures, and the magic ongoings of said cultures, Ahk took the guess that you would enjoy a hint of the travel yet to come. You still had beer batches you had to finish, and Ahk was enjoying his time returning to combat training, eagerly memorizing each move and doing it thoroughly as he imagined besting any creature that dared to hurt you. There was no need to hurry yourselves to Elam, but there still lingered a curiosity in you and Ahkmen. Priest teachers in Egypt never spoke much about Elam considering the distances between the two countries. Imports reached further than power, however, so Ahk actually had used Elamite incense before, and recalled it as being pleasant. You'd like it, he thought.

Incense progressed into talismans and tools, till his poor money-managing skills led him to carrying three bags worth of things, some for you, and some for himself. Most for you, though. He burned a bright red as he walked back to the estate, already knowing how you'd laugh, rocking back in your seat as he revealed your effect on him even without your presence. But it would be worth it to see the hidden delight in your twinkling eyes.

"Aganu, do you know how many necklaces you have give me?" You asked, about ten minutes after you asked what the thing in your hand was, and he answered 'necklace'.

"No, I wasn't really counting," he said, lifting himself out of his own bag to look over your shoulder.

You sat on his bed, you at the head and him on the side, his legs still planted on the ground. Two of the bags were now empty, their contents scattered in piles around the sheets, all of which belonged to you. Ahk kept his own belongings in a separate bag on the floor.

"This is ten and six necklaces," you said as you held up the mass of necklaces, looking more like tiny, black and brown worms rather than jewelry, the sight of which had giggles bubbling up in both of you.

"Sorry?" He said through his chuckling.

"No, no, I love," you said, setting to untangling them.

It took nearly ten minutes but eventually the two of you untangled all of them, only for you to put every last one of them around your neck, tangling them back around on your chest. You flashed a dizzying grin once you wore all his gifts.

"It's still early," he stuttered out, his face slowly warming with blood as he found himself unable to look away from you, or the sunlight streaming through the door that illuminated your soft skin. "Do you think today'll work for the garden?"

"Oh, yes," you said, straightening your back. "Yes, that is good!"

He chuckled, averting his eyes to his fidgeting fingers.

Tamarisk trees flanked the entrance of the tower, still scraping the sky with the tallest terrace overflowing with leaves of green. The throes of a dying sun painted the white pillars red and orange, burning like flames that would surely overtake the city, but still cooled by the high-up winds that brushed against the hanging trees and flowers.

A wide arch greeted you, acting as a massive entrance leading into a tall room overflowing with grasses, reeds, and bushes. Most of them you recognized instantly––herbs of special sorts, both from Mesopotamia and from far away. You picked those you recognized, stuffing the leaves and roots into one of your many pockets. Ahkmen chuckled at your behavior, but still stopped at your side to allow your collecting, which continued to the stairs carved in a polished, white stone, massive lamassu statutes towering above you. They popped right out of the stone, empty eyes staring straight down into Ahk.

"Wow," he said, earning a hum from you.

"It is like Egypt," you said.

He turned to you with a frown.

"How so?"

"Big, stone cat, with a man head," you said, pointing up at the human fae.

"Oh," he turned back to the statue, "I suppose you're right."

A couple came down the stairs, pressed tightly together when they noticed you. The two of you also drew closer, and began to head up the stairs, watching for the new flora that bloomed out of seemingly nothing.

Lines of arches whose pillars were carved in intricate patterns led to the wind of open air rustling through the trees, willows and their long tendrils dancing and entangling themselves with the flowers of nearby vines. Water clung to the air around you, kept humid and warm in the strange, and surely intentional, dome of a ceiling. Yet more stairs sat behind you, meaning the next floor must've been built higher than the ceiling of the second floor.

Fruits––though most of them small––grew on the low bushes and on high trees, their blooming colors matching the many petals of white, red, gold, and deep purple. You soon discovered the reason for the small fruits was that the other people roaming throughout the terraces picked the larger, more ripened ones, eating them as they wandered about. You soon did the same, picking a small plum and offering part of it to Ahk. He took a couple bites before handing it back to you.

At the brush of your fingers, his heart did not speed––not like before, and he melted into the familiarity, into the warmth he memorized in your touch. Without much thought he took your hand, entwining your fingers sticky with fruit sugar together. When you didn't try to pull away, he pushed down the excitement that was quick to fill his chest, but allowed himself a small smile.

A woman picked fruit from a tree in front of your path, but when he accidentally caught her eye, she hurried off with her basket in hand. Ahk looked up to where she'd been tending, and found large, red pomegranates hanging abundantly from the flimsy tree.

Moving up to his toes, he picked one of the fruits and handed it to you.

"Ever had a pomegranate before?" He asked when you just held it, staring at it in your hands.

"That is this?" You said as you raised it.

"Indeed so. My brother and I used to split it."

"You had a brother??" You asked incredulously.

"Did I never tell you?"

"No," you said. Obviously.

"Alright, well, before he started really hating me, we'd sometimes sneak out into the market and split food, since we couldn't find enough money to pay for an overzealous amount," Ahk explained.

At the very end of his sentence you took a massive bite into the raw peel, instantly frowning when you bit into something fleshy and bitter. Ahkmen, who took a second to notice this, quickly took the fruit from you with a gasp. A large bitemark was already in the fruit.

"That – that's not how you eat pomegranates," he stammered, digging his thumbs into the new-revealed fruit, and splitting it open to reveal the seeds within.

"It is bad," you said, your expression still contorted uncomfortably.

"Spit it out!"

You spit your bite into the nearby bushes, earning cold stares from the couple of people who saw. Their gazes had you shrinking in on yourself.

"Don't worry about it," Ahk said quietly, setting a hand on your back. "I would definitely have done the same thing."

The two of you split the pomegranate, and Ahkmen showed you that it was the fruit-covered seeds that were the truly consumable part. You ended up enjoying them quite a bit, and the one pomegranate lasted you throughout the whole of the marble and limestone garden terrace, following you up the stairs till nothing remained but the shell. Ahk tossed the remains away, and the two of you continued onwards.

Eventually the air began to cool with the ascending floors, and Ahk's Egyptian clothes––which he'd worn that day because he had no work––ceased to fit the temperature, landing Ahk with a soured look and goosebumps coming up constantly on his arms that were crossed tight over his chest.

"Awwwh, you are cold?" You asked in a saccharine voice, after Ahk spent ten minutes wondering if you noticed his shivering.

Your attention did feel better, but not enough.

"A little," he said.

"You do want my coat?" You offered, already setting to undoing the buttons set high on the stiff, red and gold fabric neck.

"No, no, don't trouble yourself," Ahk said quickly, unwrapping his arms from himself to shake his hands no.

"That is okay," you said after a moment. "I do not think it would go in your big arms."

"You think my arms are big?" He squeaked out, looking down at his bicep, which had grown slightly more toned after several training sessions.

"Well, you..." you poked his left bicep, "are big."

"How kind of you, Yogasundari," he said with a massive grin, looking down at you like you lit up the sky.

"Shut up," you said as you pushed him away, earning a loud laugh from him.

"What a show you put on," came a voice from behind you. "I'm almost embarrassed to be seen talking to you."

Ahk groaned––externally this time––and turned slowly around, his dull eyes meeting the Prince Rimush's plotting expression.

"Then stop talking to us," Ahk said, setting his left arm around your shoulder and directing the both of you back forward.

"You've got me there," Rimush said and, to Ahk's great dismay, ran to catch up with you and Ahk, standing at Ahkmen's right. "I just can't dismiss how wonderful of a whore you would make."

Ahk shot you an odd look, but you just shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked with a glare.

"Well, you've got the body for it, and you clearly don't care about showing a little skin," he said, a smirk creeping across his face.

"You know, I don't complain that you're a little brat and that I wish I could subjugate you. Maybe you could do the same," Ahkmen said.

Rimush just laughed, throwing his head of curly, black hair back.

"Who is this man?" You whispered to Ahk while the other was distracted.

"Some idiot I've seen a couple times. He's just a dick."

"I am a Prince, thank you," Rimush interrupted with a cocked brow.

"Okay, Prince Dick," Ahk said, rolling his eyes.

Rimush's mouth fell open as he stared at Ahk, stopping dead in his step. You and Ahk spared him no mercy, and continued forward, leaving the Kassite Prince behind, but only for a moment. He soon ran back up to join you, drawing a heavier-yet groan from Ahkmen.

"Oh come on, don't be like that," he said, hitting Ahk's chest.

"Would you please leave? I'm trying to spend an evening alone with my – my..." Ahk trailed off, his eyes darting to you and back to Rimush.

"Tunae," you suggested, and despite not knowing what the hell you were talking about, he agreed.

"Alright, very well," Rimush said with a long sigh, his shoulders sagging. "But I'd still like to invite you to an event within a few weeks, if you're not too busy... staring at each other."

"Clever," Ahk said flatly.

"It's at Ukani's estate. One of our high priests, a good friend of my father's," the Prince continued.

It took a moment, but the words oh fuck rolled over Ahk's already irritated mind.

"We'll already be there," Ahk said. "We work for the man."

"Oh, wonderful. I hope you're doing some of the dancing, then," Rimush said, and his eyes raked over Ahk again. "I've heard the dancers are dressed in only the finest and thinnest of silks."

"I guess you'll find out," Ahk replied in the same, flat tone.

The two of you, now pressed tightly together, didn't move or speak till Rimush's unkempt locks disappeared down the stairway. At that point Ahk let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, and returned his attention chiefly to you.

"He is a prince?" You asked as you picked up your stroll once more.

"Yes, somehow."

"We must be good to him," you said.

"Uh... why?" Ahk asked, wanting to do the exact opposite.

"You said, in Egypt, to go with what the power says, the Kings and that," you said, and his eyes drifted shut.

"I did say that, didn't I," he mumbled.

Now that those conventions weren't upholding his status and were there instead to crush him, well––things seemed a little different on the earth than it did in the clouds, and his thought process worked just the same.

Both of you fell quiet after that, wandering in silence throughout the climbing terraces. Trees of figs, dates, melons, plums, and pears lined the walkway, beside softly running streams pouring their lifeforce into the plants. After several minutes, and a couple floors later, Ahk finally gathered up enough gall to take your hand again. Instantly your fingers tangled into his, and he noted with great pride the smile tugging at the corners of your blushing lips.

The very top of the tower overlooked the whole of the city, from the ziggurats to the outer walls, and to the town-like structures stretching onwards from Karanduniash. The Euphrates continued on endlessly, splitting the land before you in two as wind blew with the force to disrobe you.

People who walked down below were no larger than the ochre dot on your forehead, and moved about as slow as an ant crawling to get to its' hive. Ahk was the only one that could truly watch them, as you were uneasy whenever you leant over the garden's edge, and saw the ground below at a height tall enough to kill you. Instead you crossed you arms, whining whenever Ahk got too close and appeared to be close to falling off.

"Do not be dumb," you said with a frown, your folded arms helping keep your clothes tight to your body.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," he said, leaning just enough over the sheer cliff to see the terraces built beneath you, and those who stood on the edge just as he did.

"I would like to worry about that, thank you," you said matter-of-factly.

Ahkmen chuckled but relented, returning to your side in the center of the highest floor. Despite the plant's water coming from far below you, the creek still ran through the last terrace, feeding the scant trees and brush that could survive the overbearing winds. The bells of rushing water accompanied him as he took your hands, holding them gentle in his own.

"You know I adore you, don't you?" He said, scanning your expectant eyes.

"What does a door do with this?"

"No, not -" he giggled with warming cheeks, "not a door. Adore. It means to care for something deeply, to admire it in a way."

"Ohhh, yes, I did hear this, I only forgot. Sorry," you said with your own sheepish chuckle.

"No need to apologize. I just want you to remember that."

"What adore is saying?"

"No, that I adore you," he said, and despite his screw-ups rushing blood to his face, he knelt before you to more easily meet your eye.

Looking up to you was a special sort of reverence. His bare knee dug into the fertile earth, his other kept up near his chest as he craned his neck to hold your gaze. You appeared, for a moment, to be entirely quiet, wide eyes staring wordlessly down at him. Even the breath in your chest ceased to move.

In the past, you had bowed before many people––passing Kings and High Priests, masters, and your own family in celebrations for the new year. The view from above was quite different from the one below, and you were allowed movement.

You gently pulled one of your hands out of his hold. His empty hand fell like muslin to his lap, a feeling replicated in warm, tingling sensations when your thumb stroked over his jawline. Eyes fluttered shut once more as he leant into your touch, melting when the whole of your palm rested on his flushed cheek.

"Look at me," you said softly, and Ahk raised his head, opening his eyes. "Know my face."

"I've already memorized it," he replied in a murmur.

[icamagustudio]

PROOF OF EXISTENCE. 

Exploring has been a drawing force in human history since the sun dawned on the earth. We measure wisdom with how far one has had to explore to attain the perspective, we are curious and sensitive to what we learn. Introducing the ‘Proof of Existence’ series – A photo series paying homage to the power that lies within us, the unexplored. It is based on the intimate and infectious parts of the people we are inspired by, those that have contributed to the culture in one shape or the other. Camagu Studio explores and celebrates Mrs. Lesego – Tshepang Mokoena.

Lesego – Tshepang Mokoena is a fashion designer and business woman, she embodies so many angles of what being a woman is, that we personally haven’t explored. As a young woman she has accomplished success in her dynamic life paths, and we are interested to know what she believes she exists for. In her words “Some people have the luxury of finding their purpose and then others, their purpose is thrust upon them. I think the point of my existence is to make a difference, not in the way that I thought, not in the way that I imagined it would be, but in how it has to be.” Lesego tells to us about how her work as a fashion designer aligns with her purpose, saying: “Personally, in my life being in the fashion business, I’m in it in an unconventional sense; Most designers would go to the factory that gives them the cheapest prices, so that you get more of a mark-up from your garment. I am in the situation where the people that I am working with are so ingrained in my life that I’m not gonna find the cheapest deal, it’s not just about making a dress. The dress that I’m wearing today wasn’t made by people I’m used to and I can feel that it wasn’t made with love and I can feel it as I’m wearing the dress.” She tells us about the relationship she has built with her team, her seamsters and seamstresses. Lesego values those she works with and aims for a collaborative experience where there is mutual respect and the lives of those who work for her business are improved.

On the day of the shoot Lesego told us that the man who used to work with her and sew for her had passed away. This was a great loss for her not only because she just lost a member of her team, but because she lost someone who she regards as family, someone she loves and cares for. Whilst getting her make-up ready she said, “We are so ingrained in what we do. I saw each contribution that the dresses made to his family. Where they were living when we started versus now. It’s not just a dress it’s not just paying the cheapest prices…” For Lesego, it’s not just about the business of making money, it is about adding value to people’s livelihoods and creating meaningful relationships with those she works with. 

There is so much strength and honesty in the what Lesego says, and what was striking, apart from her beauty, is her faith and strong belief in the journey of her purpose unfolding. “You think your purpose is aligned with your goals but it’s not always. Life happens and God steps in. your purpose may not necessarily align with your goals. I had a prayer two years ago and it was to be able to surrender, I’m a planner and ‘control freak’ but I surrendered to the idea that my goals may not necessarily align with God’s purpose and being okay with that. I know now what my purpose is being brave to go ahead with that. I’m at a point of either growth or comfort, I could easily regress or I could move forward. It’s what we do when we’re hurt, we regress and want to go to where it was easy again. It’s not just about you it’s so much bigger than you.” 

When we asked what the proof of her existence is, she said: “I think I’d like to leave behind evidence that I was able to authentically do things my way without following the manuscript and still being very profitable with it. I think the ultimate proof in that is not something I’ll be able to see in my lifetime, the proof will be when my greatgrandchildren won’t have to look for a job, send their CV’s anywhere or panic when they leave varsity. We will have generational wealth. Whatever decisions they make in their lives will never come from financial fear. The driving force in their lives will never come from lack of financial fear. The fear of survival. The freedom for my children to be themselves. It’s important that proof is not left for yourself but for your children as well, what their mother did.” 

Project directed and photographed :  Camagu studio  (35mm) 

Make-up : Khumo Ngwenya 

[sohotthateveryonedied]

And Now I’m Covered in the Colors, Pulled Apart at the Seams

Alternate universe in which we gather soul strings as we fall in love, with different colors representing the different kinds of love you experience over time. Tim has loved and lost so many times over the years that, as rare as it is to find someone who actually loves him back, his strings are mangled like barbed wire. What's the point of loving if it only ends in heartache?

(Or: Tim’s experience with love, a story told in snapshots.)

Based on some awesome fanart by @omgiamwish​!

It starts with two blue strings looped around his index finger. Tim doesn’t remember when he got them or how they came to be, which leads him to assume that they have simply always been there. Always been a part of him.

And that makes sense because most children grow up loving their parents—they’re the first true bonds they ever make. Tim’s mom and dad may not be the most affectionate parents in the world, always going off on business trips and leaving Tim at home with the nanny, but that’s fine. They’re important people. Tim should be grateful to have parents that he can be proud of, even if it leaves him feeling a little detached in their absence. The strings themselves start out strong, thick and bold. But the farther from Tim’s body they reach, the thinner they become. By the time he’s ten years old, they’re practically threadbare as they snake to his parents who are completely indifferent to the way Tim’s heart breaks every time he sees the frayed ends lying at their feet, unnoticed. It is odd that he can’t remember when the strings fell? If Tim didn’t know any better, he’d think they had been that way all his life.

Even when Tim has nothing else, there’s always Dick Grayson. From that fateful day at the circus, Tim has frequently lain awake at night and imagined what it would be like to have an extra blue string, stretching directly toward the last Flying Grayson. Toward the first (and last) person who made Tim feel seen. And maybe that means he’s selfish because Tim already has a family of his own, which is more than so many others can say. Clearly. So what if Tim’s parents don’t love him as much as he loves them? He’s grown used to it by now, so he has no logical reason to complain. It’s just the way things are. Still, when Tim bullies Bruce into making him Robin years later, it injects him with a brand of excitement that he hasn’t felt in years. Finally he has a hold on something bigger than himself, than his empty house, than waiting week after week for his parents to send him a present in the mail the day after his birthday. It gets even better when Dick—the Dick Grayson, Tim’s role model since the day he met him—takes Tim under his wing, and surely this can’t be Tim’s real life. The fact that he not only meets his hero of ten years, but that he gets to learn under him too? It’s a dream come true. Dick teaches Tim the secrets that make a Robin, what it means to be Batman’s partner, the ins and outs of crime-fighting. Tim absorbs it all like a sponge. “And if you stay on your toes like this,” Dick says, demonstrating, “you’ll be lighter on your feet and quicker in a fight. Don’t let the bad guys see you motionless, got it?” Tim nods. “Got it.” Dick raises his practice staff. “And remember—in a real battle you’ll be wearing your domino, so be mindful of your blind spots. Accommodate for them while keeping yourself on target at the same time.” Tim adjusts his stance on the mat. “Uh-huh.” “And don’t be afraid to turn your offense into your defense. Always be prepared to switch it up at a second’s notice in response to your opponent’s moves, so your brain needs to work ten times faster than—” “Will you just hit me already?” Dick laughs. “Fine, fine.” He strikes, coming at Tim with a hit that Tim blocks with his own staff. There’s something about sparring with Dick that gives Tim a sort of insight into the inner workings of Dick Grayson—things that most other people wouldn’t pick up on if they weren’t looking closely. As graceful as Dick is, there’s a strength in him. A secret power that lurks within the acrobat, ready to turn the tides at a moment’s notice. Dick’s plucky, carefree attitude is as much a mask as the domino is, leading enemies into a false sense of security. Dick blocks more often than he strikes and never stays in one spot for longer than a few seconds at a time, as if the floor is lava. It’s a dance. Tim has almost gained the upper hand of their spar—something that happens so rarely he can count his victories on one hand—when Alfred comes downstairs holding a tray of sandwiches and protein shakes. While Tim is distracted, Dick knocks Tim’s staff from his grasp and sends it skidding across the floor. He points the end of his own at Tim’s neck. Checkmate. “Most important rule of Robinism: Never take your eyes off of your opponent.” Tim rolls his eyes, batting aside Dick’s staff and walking over to Alfred. “That’s a made-up word.” “I’m the first Robin and I invented it, which makes it real.” Dick takes a sandwich. “Thanks, Alf.” “As nauseating as I find your mayonnaise and pickle concoctions, let it never be said that I don’t give you boys what you want.” And really, Tim’s got to admire Alfred for that. The guy practically had a stroke when Tim confessed that his favorite after-school snack is potato chips dipped in ketchup. Months later and Tim’s got a new blue string on his finger because it’s impossible not to love Alfred, guilt over ruining his faith in the human palate be damned. At least Dick shares Tim’s love of unconventional food combinations. Tim bites into his own sandwich, the wonderfully sour taste of picklenaise flooding his mouth. “You’re just jealous that you have weak taste buds.” “Yes, that must be it,” Alfred says, wrinkling his nose. As he goes, Tim finds himself wondering about Alfred’s strings. Bruce definitely has one, but what about Thomas and Martha? What about Jason? What about friends from the British military? Is Alfred’s string collection a graveyard of frayed ends? “I was thinking,” Dick says around a mouthful, diverting Tim’s attention, “I’m heading back to Blüd in a little bit but I’m free all next weekend. The fair is supposed to be in town so maybe you and I could check it out? They’ve got a ferris wheel.” Miraculously, Tim doesn’t choke. Dick has never invited Tim to spend time together outside of Robin training. In fact, Dick has always been quick to leave with a thrown-together excuse any time he sees Tim in the Robin uniform—in Jason’s uniform. Tim schools his expression into something remotely casual. He doesn’t think it works. “Really? Just you and me?” “Sure. I’ll talk to Bruce and see if he can let you off training early on Saturday. We can tell him the carnival games are for aiming practice or something.” He winks. “Okay. That would—that would be cool.” Tim tries to hide his smile behind a sip from his shake. He shouldn’t be this excited about the smallest gesture, but he can’t help it. Just the fact that Dick acknowledges Tim and treats him like an actual person puts him on a golden pedestal as it is. Tim tries to ignore the way his string warms on his ring finger, seeking to betray him. Dick’s thread started out green but has slowly shifted to robin’s egg blue over time. Tim is fully aware of how silly it is to care about Dick this deeply like he’s a manic fanboy and Dick is his celebrity crush, but he can’t help it. Dick changed Tim’s life, and for that he will never stop being grateful. In the back of his mind he’s always wondered if Dick felt the same way, but Tim never lets himself check. He’d rather be ignorant than find a tattered string sitting at Dick’s feet, which is almost definitely the case. Dick barely knows Tim. He doesn’t have the attachment that Tim does, and Tim can live with that. He can. Besides, it’s probably better than Dick doesn’t return the feeling anyway. Tim would feel bad knowing that he stole yet another spot away from Jason.

Continue reading on AO3!

[astrojules]

Venus Aspect Uranus⚡💙

Venus Conjunct Uranus-  A sparkling, bubbly personality makes you very popular. You love social activities and all stimulating experiences. You often find yourself suddenly and powerfully attracted to someone, but the relationship can end just as suddenly. You find it hard to remain romantically tied to one person. You often confuse friendship with love and must never marry in haste-- have a long engagement. If you're artistic, your style is original and distinct. You can bring happiness to others through original means of service. You're self-willed, highly temperamental, strongly sensual and emotionally tense. You can be a genius, but often lack common sense. You crave peace and harmony, but if you don't find a positive outlet for your tension, you can become overly emotional. You're constantly seeking change and, if afflicted, get easily bored with routine and people. You refuse to be taken for granted. Risks are often taken for the sheer pleasure of it.

Venus Trine Uranus-  You have a sparkling, fun-loving nature and are always full of surprises. You're popular, spontaneous, unconventional and very attractive to the opposite sex. You have a very romantic and sensitive streak and lots of sex appeal that attracts romance easily. You have unusual friends and very exciting romances and marriage. You tend to see the silver lining of every cloud and your positive attitude attracts people with money and importance. Artistically, you're a very fine actor and have a very distinctive style that often involves electronics in some capacity. You can be very fortunate financially. Sudden separations often work to your advantage. This aspect can help in your search for spirituality.

Venus Square Uranus-  You have a magnetic personality and want to be friends with everyone. Sudden attractions often result in sudden marriage followed by sudden divorce. You're often unwilling to sacrifice your personal freedom to attain a stable relationship. In fixed signs, you seek emotional gratification at any cost and refuse to listen to reason. In mutable signs, you may be fickle. In cardinal signs, you're so socially hyperactive that it's hard for you to discover your real feelings in romantic relationships. You sometimes confuse friendship with love. Your emotions are likely to be unstable and subject to sudden reversals, often causing problems with the opposite sex. You're sensitive, egotistical, kind, good, stubborn, rigid, spoiled and used to having your own way. Your desire for exotic and exciting emotional experiences is often incompatible with a practical lifestyle. Nervous disorders stem from uncontrolled and unfulfilled desires. You can be sexually perverse or promiscuous if indicated by the rest of your chart and the square involves the fifth house. You resent authority. You try to hide your deep inferiority complex. You must learn to stabilize your feelings and emotions.

Venus Sextile Uranus-  You're unconventional yet popular, having many friends. You have a very romantic and sensitive streak that makes you very attractive to the opposite sex. You fall suddenly (and frequently) in love and marry just as suddenly. You need a great deal of emotional freedom and resist conventional romantic relationships. You have a sparkling and vivacious means of expressing emotions. You're usually fortunate in friendship, marriage and love. You often join group endeavors aimed at making money in unconventional ways. You have highly original artistic and musical talent that often involves new forms of electronic art. Sudden separations work to your advantage.

Venus Opposite Uranus-  Your unstable emotional nature and powerful desires can lead to disaster because you want to experience the unusual regardless of the consequences. You won't even follow the dictates of your own conscience, let alone others' advice. Your demand for personal freedom outweighs anything else, even love, so you're often alone and estranged. You must learn to give others as much freedom as you demand. You have a magnetic personality but your egotism often causes problems with the opposite sex. Friendships are often based on desire and pleasure and often lead you astray, usually by impulsively spending money on casual friendship or useless pleasure. You're spoiled and used to having things your way, so consequently, you resent authority or anyone who won't do it your way. You're kind, good-hearted and sensitive, but also stubborn and rigid. Your attempts to hide a deep inferiority complex can manifest as nervous tension and uncontrolled emotions. You'll do anything for loved ones as long as the love lasts. You often have several marriages and divorces. When a romance ends you go into emotional chaos.

Venus Inconjunct Uranus-  You're goodhearted, kind and sensitive, yet stubborn and rigid. You're emotionally unconventional: you can be mysterious, silent and sullen or put on a happy face even when you're not. Your nervous tension and uncontrolled emotions often manifest as an over-talkative tendency. You treasure personal freedom but must be careful when choosing friends. You benefit from any artistic outlet, especially writing. You often take on others' problems rather than deal with yours. You spoil others and then resent them for using you.

(not my own descriptions! these are courtesy of a website I found; http://www.oocities.org/rbltre/astro/veasmc.html) 

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @elle-est-blasee

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. the moon has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your feelings and emotional growth. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, private life and also your communication and thinking style.

your dominant planets are jupiter, pluto and saturn. you're a very hard-working person with strong morals. you're very intelligent and opinionated, you are extremely deep and you have a very unconventional point of view to things. you may experience lots of karma in your life, it could seem as if you always have to work harder than others to get what you want, but thanks to your jupiter dominance you're quite successful, your effort is worth it.

your dominant sign is sagittarius. you have an amazing sense of humor, your personality is so bubbly that it naturally draws people towards you. you're also extremely open-minded, you rarely have prejudices. you have a knack for spirituality, religion, philosophy... anything that can stimulate you mentally.

your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.

🌎 ascendant in aquarius, 0° / 1st degree ruled by uranus

you have a very unusual, yet striking charisma to you. people notice you because you look different, interesting. you probably have an alternative style, or at least you don't like following trends. you prefer making your own. you are very independent and open-minded, you hardly ever judge someone from its appearance, for example. you are fond of friendship, it's most likely more important than love for you, but at the same time you're more of a loner. you'd rather spend the day in watching your favourite show on the couch than going out and partying. your self-esteem most probably fluctuates a lot: some days you're very confident, especially in your skills / abilities, and maybe as well in your appearance. other days, though, you start feeling pretty insecure. you're very unpredictable, not only from this point of view, but in your life in general. you're probably quite indecisive and you may change your mind often. yet, once you make your decision, no one can convince you into changing your mind, you're extremely stubborn in this case. in addition, because of this behaviour of yours, you could possibly even come off as a know-it-all from time to time. deep down, you're really not. you strive for freedom, you don't want to force others into thinking the same way as you do when it comes to shallow opinions. your life philosophy is most likely 'live and let live', everyone is free to do what they want for you. on the other hand, you're most likely an amazing friend, as you know what it means to support and help an individual or a group. you're an ideal leader, basically. your first impression of you may be that you look slightly unapproachable and cold, but it's not entirely true. in fact, you hide a lot of emotions that you'd rather not show to the world. physically, you may have amazing, thick hair, like your sister sign leo after all. you may as well be naturally skinny or petite, and you could also have long limbs.

aquarius ascendant square scorpio venus: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually attract and choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, even though I don’t think it’s your case. your venus is well-placed, so I don’t think there’ll be serious problems.

🌞 sun in sagittarius, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

in life, you strive for freedom and independency. you are an extremely wise person, and you believe strongly in your beliefs. you rarely change your mind, but most of the time you’re an open-minded person. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. you may also be attracted to foreign things, such as foreign literature, fashion, art, music etc. it’s another way to travel and open your mind, without actually having to leave your house when you’re busy. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re very outgoing, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. in fact, you have a shy side to you that makes you more secretive, regardless of your friendliness.

sagittarius sun conjunct sagittarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy sagittarius dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

🌙 moon in aries, 9° / 1st decan ruled by mars

you aim for greatness. this is where your strong desire to be the #1 comes from, pretty much. you're very proud of yourself, and you don't like to acknowledge your mistakes. you always want to look like you have your life together, even in certain moments when you feel lost. I would say that this is a sort of self-sabotaging mechanism, as you can literally go as far as forcing a smile if it shows the world that you can stand by yourself. overall, I would say you deal with your emotions in a very 'child-like' way; after all, aries is pretty self-centered. you tend to preserve yourself more, unless someone really special to you is involved. in fact, aries moon makes you really protective of your loved and trusted ones, even though they're not many because of your high standards. you're also very honest, you speak from your heart. while it's a positive trait, you may be too blunt and ruin your relationships because of that. you're both smart and fast, hence you may get annoyed when people mishear or misunderstand your words.

🗣 mercury in sagittarius, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you say things impulsively, you're bluntly honest, and this could often hurt people around you. in addition, you like having the last word, despite being proven wrong sometimes. you have a knack for wisdom, you love being and looking smart. you're the type to spend the whole day reading and analyzing philosophical quotes and then make them your own, applying them to your life. you want to be and feel experienced, hence you may inform yourself about a variety of topics just for the sake of knowing them, perhaps you're not even that much interested in them. you could go from talking about politics to astrology, your mind is quite messy but still very full. you may possibly have a youthful voice, and sometimes you can speak in a loud volume without even realizing it. you may also exaggerate your words a lot, for example you might have got a single scratch on your cheek and call it a gash. you could possibly also be the type to joke over your own feelings, and then obviously get mad at others when they do the same with you.

❤️ venus in scorpio, 8° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

this placement is extremely intense; you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same times you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover. you find yourself being more attracted to 'darker' types; that is, you may be into bad boys / girls, someone with an edgy / grunge aesthetic. I've noticed that many scorpio venus individuals have a thing for people wearing leather jackets, for example. you're probably into the idea of that passionate, even kinky love, despite being quite afraid of opening up to others. you despise too much intimacy, especially since you may often attract and / or fall for self-centered players that don't care about the intensity and purity of your feelings. you may have a few trust issues that lead you into being extremely jealous and / or possessive. you could even get quite stalker-ish at times, but in the best way possible of course. that isn't because you want to take over your partner's life, but you need to feel secure and understand whether you're dedicating your time and your heart to the right person or you're just wasting yourself. a betrayal would hurt you deeply, as you'd literally die for the one you love.

☄️ mars in leo, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by the sun and mars

praise and success are what motivate you the most. your main goal in life is being praised for achieving your goals, you wouldn't feel motivated without compliments. therefore, you put energy in things that make you feel confident and noticed, as you enjoy being seen. for example, if you feel confident being well-dressed, you could spend hours in the closet to look how you want. you are very creative, you get an energy boost through creative outlets, and hence your hobbies (reading, writing, dancing, singing, drawing, etc.) recharge your battery. this placement also makes you very extra, especially with people you're close to. you may gesticulate a lot, you could as well enjoy mimicking others' voices. you're basically very dramatic, you seem like an actor when you react, but at least you're very fun and entertaining to watch and listen. this placement, it gives you a strong charisma that, combined with your heavy fire dominance, it makes it impossible not to notice you. you could overreact from time to time, and you may also be particularly pessimistic, but above all you appear as someone very bold and strong-minded.

leo mars square sagittarius jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

leo mars square pisces saturn: this is another placement that indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

leo mars square scorpio pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or every authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, and I find this beneficial considering that the poor earth energy in your chart tends to make you seem superficial. with this aspect, you're probably more dedicated than the common sagittarius.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in aquarius. you’re very electric and noticeable, you probably appear as someone quite edgy too. it’s hard for you to blend into society, and hence you may end up not having many close friends, especially during your early years. in fact, you may find yourself befriending people with your same interests, it’s very important for you. you may have frequent mood swings, and you could get nervous quite easily. you probably despise authority, in fact you’re quite reckless yourself, but in life you need to understand that it is often necessary for the world. with the ruler of the 1st house conjunct the ascendant, you have big goals for your future, they’re basically the centre of your life, it revolves around your goals and achievements. you’re naturally charismatic, you may develop a high sense of worth as you grow up. you may also be very attached to your image, you may take lots of care of it. you also have saturn placed in this house: others' first impression of you is that you look like some sort of authority, someone who needs to be respected. even when you're joking, you still have this seriousness to your aura that is hard to go unnoticed. you care about your manners, and just your overall impression in general. you may take extra care of your clothes, your hair etc. you don't want to look disorganized, in fact you probably own an agenda or even just write your appointments somewhere. you have a cautious approach to the world, you're very responsible, especially when people you love are involved. you may have a very serious expression to you that could actually make you seem intimidating. generally speaking, you still have a serious look on your face that looks quite intimidating, especially since saturn is also one of your dominant planets. you also look introverted, and you most probably are. you're very modest, and that's because you're secretly kind of insecure about your appearance. you always feel like you're not enough, and that you constantly have to improve yourself to be accepted. this gets better with time, though.

your 2nd house is in pisces. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; you may get distracted easily, and you could lose your money around. you could be quite messy, overall, or in general, this is usually a placement that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem isn’t stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. your aries moon is also sitting in this house; the moon here also gives you materialistic tendencies; you may struggle to show your feelings with words, you tend to show your feelings through material things such as gifts. you're probably the type to say I love you through gestures instead of words, especially due to your detached aquarius rising. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 12th house: you could increase your self-esteem through spiritual outlets. for example, getting to know more about your soul purpose, or even about your birth chart, can literally boost your sense of worth. perhaps, even through charity work, or even by helping the world in general. you could also make money from yoga, meditation and spirituality in general.

your 3rd house is in aries. when you communicate, you take a lot of pride in your opinions. you hate admitting that you’re wrong, especially since you’re a perfectionist. you could be quite impulsive, and you may speak with a naturally loud tone of voice. you’re extremely good at coming up with plans easily, even though you may have troubles sticking to them, as your fiery nature gets easily bored. you are a fast-thinker, even though that doesn't mean you always take the right choices. in fact, you can change your mind very often. you probably have a beautiful, thick voice, even though it's likely very naturaly loud. you also speak as fast as you think, making it hard sometimes to keep up with you in a speech. you could also switch from a topic to another casually. you don't really enjoy thinking about the past nor the future, you only care about the present and you live it they way you feel; hence, you're not really the type to care about learning from your mistakes. you always see the positive side of them, which can be both good and bad actually. that's because you're quite stubborn, it's hard to make you change your mind. you're very straight-forward, and that could lead you to conflicts as you don't understand the impact your words have on others.

your 4th house is in taurus. your childhood probably wasn’t turbulent, unless for those topics I talked about in the mars section. it was mostly quite peaceful, and you probably were able to express your creativity. maybe, your parents were a bit strict or over-protective, possibly materialistic too, but that's it, nothing traumatic. it could also be that you come from a wealthy family, maybe you had received an inheritance, and it could also be that you had a very nice house. the ruler of the 4th house, venus, is in the 9th house: you might have moved in a different country when you were younger, you have a different culture / religion from your birth place. also, you might as well be able to speak one or more foreign languages. your parents may be from another country too, or perhaps you have a foreign name / surname. you could also have foreign ancestors.

your 5th house is in gemini. you feel able to express yourself and your creativity through communication and media. probably, when you were a child you used to love puzzles. your have tons of hobbies, and they are all quite different from each other. they have the goal to stimulate your mind in some way, so for example if you read a book, it has to be about something interesting for you, that allows you to open your mind and also that teaches you something. mars is also located in this house: to recharge yourself, relax and fun are essential for your wellness. if you don’t dedicate some time in your daily routine to nurturing your hobbies, or even just watching a tv show or hanging out with your friends, you don’t function correctly. because of that, I’d suggest you to pursue a career that involves your passions. so for example, if you like taking pictures you could become a photographer. if you like helping others, you could be a therapist, a teacher, a counselor... this is confirmed by the fact that the ruler of the 5th house in the 11th house; in fact, you'll most likely make a career out of an hobby of yours. for example, let's suppose you like learning languages as an hobby, you may become a translator. or in general, you're going to pursue a career that involves creativity in some way.

your 6th house is in cancer. you may find yourself often having diseases around the stomach area, you may tend to bloat often for example. this placement also indicates that there might be someone in your family that works in the health field, hence there could be a surgeon, a nurse, a therapist, a nutriotionist, a vet, etc. you may choose a career that allows you to work from home as well, or perhaps you may work with children, families or houses in general. you may even end up following the same steps of your family and pursue their same career, or perhaps you may end up working with someone from your family or even just childhood in general. the ruler of the 6th house is in the 2nd house: you may earn money from helping people in any way. this placement obviously makes great doctors of any kind, but you may even heal through creative outlets for example. you may become a musician and heal people through your music, you could be a writer who heals people with his books and poems, and so on.

your 7th house is in leo, with also your mars placed there. in love you crave attention and being spoiled with care. when it comes to a partner, you’re extremely picky; you care about everything, from personality to looks. yet, this is another placement that indicates that you’re particularly loyal and protective. you want to be the centre of your partner’s attention, they must only dedicate their heart to you. ironically, you tend to attract quite selfish, self-centered people who want to be in the spotlight just like you. on the other hand, if you’re patient enough to satisfy their needs, they’ll be extremely supportive, loyal and affectionate with you. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence.

your 8th house is in virgo. you use a practical approach when it comes to intimacy, you may struggle to let go around others, especially with the prominent scorpio and aquarius dominance that you have in your chart. you’re extremely secretive, you hardly ever talk about yourself, and you may even despise being too exposed. you’d rather stay by yourself, in fact you have a very mysterious vibe to your aura. also, with virgo in the 8th house, you may feel so tied to a schedule, to a plan, that you lack flexibility. you're too logical, even though deep down you have this intuition that you can't fully express. on the other hand, while this makes it hard for you to get closer to your spiritual, higher self, you're extra good at handling situations here on the earth. for example, you may handle money very well if you're well-organized. transformation in your life happens when you're able to stimulate your logical mind to earn awareness of your problems. to make it simple, you may often not realize your mistakes yourself, others have to let you notice, but thanks to your heavy plutonian energy in your chart you're able to solve your problems by your own.

your 9th house is in scorpio. you literally give all of yourself in school, even though you might have had some troubles. maybe there were a few bullies/mean girls that caused you troubles, or perhaps your parents influenced your studies too much and you ended up choosing something that you didn't like. yet, scorpio here indicates that school helps you transforming and growing up. you probably learnt or will learn a big lesson in school that will help you appreciate yourself more for who you are. overall, you went through major transformations during your school life, which helped you to find who you are today. maybe, you’ve changed class/school often, as you frequently changed your mind about the subjects you wanted to study. venus is also placed in this house; you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

your 10th house is in scorpio. you may gain a reputation for being very intense and intimidating, probably a leader. you could possibly work abroad, speaking a different language. you may also have the chance to work in a school environment, and deal with people from any country or culture. jupiter is also sitting here, together with your pluto in an extremely tight conjunction; it indicates that you find pleasure and energy in work, it's your way to feel free and independent, even it you may work under a boss. it's also where you put most of all your energy, you're very goal-oriented and you strive to be the best at whatever you do. yet, you may actually start obssessing with your career, to the point that you could over-work yourself. you may also find a great job fast. you’re extremely motivated to achieve your goals, even though you may feel lost and confused due to your retrograde saturn. you’ll pursue a career that involves looking for the truth, hence you may be a detective, a scientist, a poet etc. you could also end up being very successful, you may earn lots of money thanks to your job.

your 11th house is in sagittarius, with also your sun and mercury placed there. your friends may be very open-minded, and you might have met them in school. they could also come from a different cultural background, or maybe they’re directly from abroad. at first you struggled to make friends, as you were very secretive. with time, you’re learning to trust people and to transform and grow up through them. overall, you find yourself at ease when you’re with them, you’re particularly fond of your friendships as they play a big role in your growth and fortune. in addition, the 11th house is also about goals, dreams and future, therefore with jupiter’s influence you may have big goals. you may want to accomplish giant, almost impossible goals, or perhaps your idea of success has to do with succeeding in education, learning as much as you can about the world that surrounds you. you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc.

your 12th house is in capricorn, with also neptune and uranus placed there. I feel like you’re an extremely spiritual person! especially with neptune being in its natural place. you may be able to have prophetic dreams, talk to spirits, read tarots or birth charts… anything that has to do with your higher self and world. yet, due tp capricorn’s influence in the cusp, I assume it could be hard for you to fully embrace these skills of yours. in fact, you may be a bit too pragmatic to embrace your spirituality. I think you’re already working this out since you’ve booked an astrology reading to discover more about yourself, but remember that you should definitely try to get more in touch with your soul! even doing simple stretching, meditation or yoga can help give you some space to think about your identity, your wants and your needs. you may also be a religious person or have any kinf of higher belief. the 12th house is also the house of fears, and since its cusp falls in capricorn, you may be afriad of authority, like the police for example, or anything that appears to be much bigger and more supported than you. it may also manifest in fear of not being organized, and also fear of money / success loss. with uranus here, there's an hidden rebel inside of you who has the desire to change the world. yet, you can't seem to free this part of yourself. actually, you may be afraid of stepping out of your comfort-zone, you probably tame changes.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract leo, virgo, gemini, sagittarius and aquarius placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and / or sagittarius traits or placements in their chart. they’ll be very similiar to you: passionate and extremely emotionally intelligent with strong feelings and values. your spouse will also be very romantic and flirty, and you're most likely going to meet them on your workplace. they could be a customer of yours for example, or maybe they're a co-worker. your children will most likely have gemini and / or virgo; they’ll be particularly witty and intelligent, either too talkative and chatty or too quiet and reflective, but they'll have strong ideas that will get them known for being mature and smart.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was very caring and affectionate with you, even though she could’ve been a bit too protective and/or materialistic. she’s probably a taurus or a libra, possibly even a scorpio or sagittarius, or she has at least some placement in those signs. your father is a bit more chill than your mother, but he may get jealous easily. or maybe, it was your mother who did your father’s 'role’. hence, she was the dominant figure in your family. he’s probably a scorpio or any other water sign, perhaps sagittarius too. if you have siblings, they’re probably aries or scorpio. you might fight a lot for control, especially during childhood. you’re also quite possessive of your things, but overall you also have a deep bond. even though you may argue quite a bit, you still have affection for each other.

📊 career

while doing your reading, I got a strong feeling that you're going to work abroad, or at least that you're going to do something related to foreign languages and / or cultures. you could possibly be good at speaking other languages, therefore you would make a perfect translator or interpreter. or maybe, you may even work as a flight attendant, you could have to travel for your job. possibly, I also see you being in a high position in your job, you may have your own business for instance. or maybe you could make a good healer, such as a nurse or a therapist. you would also make a great teacher, or maybe also a criminologist. your chart also has many wealth indicators, hence you'll probably be able to gain lots of money and success thanks to your job!

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you may have lots of dark, edgy clothes in your wardrobe, from leather to animal prints. you could possibly also fancy velvet in your clothes. your style is mostly quite classy and feminine, but still with a touch of boldness to it. as for the colors, I assume you also enjou wearing darker shades, from dark blue, purple, burgundy… to just directly black. you could possibly be fond of total-black fits too.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, it was hard for you to get out of your comfort-zone. you preferred staying in your small environment rather than challenge yourself. that made you again awareness of how to act in small communities, but this lifetime you need to go farther than that. you need to prove that what you learned in your past life is the key to nurture your skills, and be able to apply them in a larger environment. you may find yourself travelling a lot, gaining lots of widsom from your experiences... in this lifetime, you basically need to learn through the communication abilities you gained in your previous life.

🤔 major transits analysis / april 27th

chiron is currently retrograde transiting in your 2nd house. this year you might be struggling with finances; perhaps, you aren't earning much, and therefore you need to save money. or perhaps, you've wasted so much money that you need to be careful and picky with what you choose to buy. or maybe, these issues have to do with your sense of worth; you may struggle to feel confident, you may constantly look down on yourself, and combined with the tight conjunction chiron makes with your natal moon, you may feel quite anxious. you could feel stuck and lonely, as if no one understood you. transit saturn is also in your 1st house; this year you may be feeling a bit self-conscious, especially about your image. you could be experiencing low self-esteem but, at least with jupiter also being in the 1st house, if you work hard to change what you don't like about yourself or about your life in general, you'll start feeling you way better.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

- libramc xx

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

To you, how good are the vault crew at duelling and how do they duel? I think that Tonks is someone who uses more unconventional ways like in a courtyard making use of obstacles rather than a normal duelling club, Barnaby has strong spells and is able to tank damage, Chiara is the underestimated one who spams protego and episkey, takes no damage,winning through occasional offensive spells no one sees coming, and Merula duels offensively with cunning. I also can't believe MC just wins every time.

A very good question! Let’s go through the gang one by one. 

MC - This is definitely open to interpretation. All we know for certain is that they’re either very good at dueling, very lucky, or some combination of the two. They’ve defeated acromantulas, dragons, unexplained ice golems, the list goes on. They’ve only ever lost to one person. So their style is open to interpretation (I think this was customizable during Aurelie’s quest) but in general, they usually win. This can be amended with head-canons, and I do have some of my own. Luca Fawley totally loses to the Red Cloak, to the Horntail, etc. But canon wise? Yeah...it is what it is. 

Rowan - They’re not much of a duelist. I can’t imagine they have any experience in combat magic apart from helping MC prepare to face Merula all the way back in Year 1. Given their extensive knowledge however, they probably know more magic than the average person, and they’re probably the most skilled at casting spells nonverbally. To translate that to game mechanics, maybe that means they know all of the exclusive dueling reward spells? In terms of style, I feel like they’d favor defense.

Ben - This one is all about confidence. We’ve seen that Ben’s prowess at dueling seems to depend on whether or not his anxieties are holding him back or not. Most of the time, he seems like he would completely fail, but when he actually fights - either in Y6CH18, when he’s let go of his anxiety, or when he was the Red Cloak (So it wouldn’t come into play) he actually kind of kicks ass? I feel like he specializes in charms and would know which ones to use in combat. I also think Old Ben favors sneaking, New Ben favors offense.

Penny - Another character who wouldn’t specialize in fighting, but the inclusion of the Wiggenweld Potion as an option that is known to be useful in dueling suggests, at least in HPHM canon, that adept potioneers can use their talents in a fight. I don’t really see how that works, personally (The animation takes forever, why wouldn’t the opponent just hit them mid-swig?) but I can roll with it. Penny’s style would therefore be highly unpredictable, which would be her main advantage. No one would know what to expect because it’s not her spells that they’re primarily fighting.

Merula - Like you said, she’s cunning. She probably knows a fair few hexes that most people don’t know, at least early on. Similar to Snape, she would have had an early advantage thanks to learning stuff on her own (or probably from her mother) and while she’s not above using the dark arts, that also takes talent and an edge that I feel like Merula doesn’t usually have. She would have a blend of offensive and sneaking, and would play without any honor at all, which would be her main advantage. But she’d also get cocky, and probably celebrate a victory before it’s confirmed. 

Bill - Here is someone who, at least to me, probably excels at Defense Against the Dark Arts. He’d have been in the D.A. if it was around during his time. But strictly light side magic, of course. He plays honorably, probably with a blend of offense and defense to help him manage particularly long fights. But he has a lot of natural talent, so that’s able to help him out. 

Skye - As one can expect, her primary strength in dueling isn’t her magical prowess, it’s her physical fitness. Catch her dodging every curse like a bludger, ducking and rolling over. Throwing a punch because her opponent doesn’t expect that at all, and if she can snap a broomstick in half, odds are she also has a mean right hook. As far as magic actually goes, I figure she’d favor offense and be straight to the point. If there was ever a character to live up to the “Spam depulso” meme, it’s Skye.

Murphy - The opposite situation would apply here. Murphy can’t rely on dodging curses or moving around quite as easily. But I also feel like he wouldn’t spend a lot of time studying dueling itself. But he also knows a lot of trivia. Similar to Rowan, he’d pull out a spell that no one expects or has even heard of. He could also probably keep a few potions on his person, especially if he ever hangs out with Penny. 

Orion - I’m going to be real with you. I think Orion does not duel. Period. This is similar to a head-canon I used to have about Yoda never carrying a lightsaber (which the prequels debunked, but that’s neither here nor there) I believe Orion is a pacifist and will never pick up his wand to harm another person. The most he will ever do is disarm or cast a shield charm. Even then, it’s not common. He prefers to talk his way out of situations, and something tells me it works more often than one would expect.

Rath - Here’s another case where physical prowess would be on her side. Not only that, there’s the intimidation factor. Rath is taller and bigger than most of her classmates, and it seems to be canon that she intimidates them for that reason. Beyond that, she also seems to have an ability to just shut down and go into a mode of focus, which includes focused rage. I know curses aren’t bludgers, but I feel like her training would still have an influence and make her aim, for example, twice as deadly. Yeah, she’d be a tough opponent and probably favor offense. 

Andre - This boy has never dueled in his life, and I doubt he’s any good at it. His magical talents and creativity are undeniable, but when it comes to combat? He should probably just hide behind MC. If it comes to it, I think he’s going to favor sneaking more. Just seems more like his style, considering that by his own admission, he likes to spy on people.

Tonks - Okay, the main thing holding her back here is going to be the opposite problem that someone like Andre or Diego would have, and that’s dexterity and grace. We all love Tonks, but she’s almost certainly dyspraxic. I can see her aiming a finishing hex, only to trip over a nearby pebble. Apart from that, I agree. Her style would be resourceful and unconventional. I can see her transfiguring herself into different people to throw off her opponent. Definitely a sneaky type. 

Tulip - Meet the most versatile duelist at Hogwarts. Seriously, with her inventive mind, her resources, and the influence of people like Merula and MC. Tulip can do anything that occurs to her, and she will. I feel like she favors carrying dungbombs and other pranks, to incorporate them into her dueling style. But she’s no pushover with magic, either. I’d say she doesn’t specialize but switches freely between offense, defense, and sneaking.

Ismelda - A more exaggerated version of Merula’s problem, in that in the early years, Ismelda would be simply terrible at dueling because she would attempt to use dark curses that she has neither the talent nor the cruelty to truly master. Other than that, we’ve seen that she has at least marginal talent for dueling and the use of curses and hexes. Practice doesn’t make perfect in this case, but it counts for something. She definitely strikes me as more offensive. 

Barnaby - He plays most similarly to Bill in this case. I think he would focus more on offensive magic, given what he’d learn as a Slytherin rather than being in the Gryffindor Common room. But his code of honor would be the same as the Weasleys, and while dueling isn’t his passion the way creatures are, he does seem to enjoy it and is very good at it. 

Liz - On the contrary, Liz is like Andre and Penny. This is not someone who ever draws her wand because she wants to, even for practice. That being said, that doesn’t mean Liz is not the argumentative type. Because she clearly is, and she’s clearly sensitive about being stereo-typed. In general, she seeks to protect the misunderstood and mistreated. If it came to it, she would draw her wand in those circumstances and likely play defensively. But she prefers to resolve conflicts verbally.

Charlie - Growing up a Weasley, you’d pick up a thing or two, of course. Especially being so close in age to Bill. These brothers definitely clashed and went to war (all in good fun) throughout their childhood. Fred and George probably ignited it, but Bill and Charlie do seem to exchange jabs with Percy as well. The main thing here is that Charlie would have learned a number of spells to subdue a dragon, and at least some of those probably translate to humans. So he’d be able to restrain an opponent in a duel.

Talbott - He holds back. He always holds back. Let’s think about this - his greatest secret weapon is one that he will always need to keep a secret and is constantly anxious about. He’s anxious in general, so similar to Ben, I think he could be a lot more powerful if he let loose. As a human or as an eagle. Seriously, golden eagles are fierce. Of all the animals to be in a fight, you could do a lot worse than a golden eagle. (I know this because I’m an Animorphs nerd.) So yeah, his biggest weakness is a mental one.

Chiara - Assuming that this is human Chiara, and not in her wolf-form, I feel like she’s another character who’s all but useless in combat. Though you’re right, this would lead to people underestimating her, and she is a Healer. There’s such a thing as army doctors for a reason. Between healing herself and setting up shields, she could probably tire out her opponent by tanking and playing defensively. 

Jae - The embodiment of the sneaking archetype. Seriously, he is a living, breathing example of the Thief build from RPGs. While I don’t think he’d stoop to using dark magic, he definitely knows some less scrupulous spells. Probably Deletrius, and whatever spell is needed to break into Alohomora-proof locks. As for dueling? Here’s another character who would probably depend on potions or other tools that he has on his person, to supplement his own magical talents, since dueling wouldn’t be something he studied too much. 

Badeea - In so many says, she is the most dangerous opponent on this list. Because her primary talent in the case of dueling makes her even more unpredictable than Tulip. Badeea...is a spell inventor. That alone gives her an edge, and she’s clearly an intelligent, talented witch otherwise. I don’t think dueling would be her first choice, mind you. Similar to Orion and Liz, I think she would see other methods to resolve conflict. But if it came to it, there’s just no way to prepare for an opponent like Badeea. 

Diego - He’s probably one of the most talented duelists on this list, if I’m being honest. We know that like Barnaby, he enjoys dueling and probably gets a lot of practice. Combined with his talents in dancing, he would be physically fit and know how to move. I can see him having an extremely graceful dueling style where his wand is nothing more than an extension of his arm, and his preferred style would be whatever he felt like that day.

Beatrice - She would get destroyed. I love her, but it’s true. Her magical education is a year behind, and who knows what kind of long-term effects her time in the Portrait could have on her physical body. Not to mention that outfit looks a little too big for her, which would restrict movement. I think in terms of raw talent and overall effort and motivation, she could score a few hits, catch someone by surprise. But in a real duel? She’s not winning. 

Alanza - I have no idea what Alanza’s levels of talent would be. But in general...she does seem to land on her feet, does seem to shrug off most things as water off a duck’s back. Survival skills apparently come easily to her, and she seems to just overall be a person who leads a charmed life. This is all assuming that there isn’t some other shoe to drop with Alanza, I think she would win duels entirely by accident.