#i also wrote Three endings and im not a Huge fan of any of them

[wreckedandpolemic]

yours - george daniel

(mdni) thank you anon for this request i had a SPECTACULAR time with this i hope i did it justice!!

warnings: 18+, semi-public unprotected sex, degradation, praise, jealousy, bratting, slight exhibitionism

It starts the way it always does: teasing. You don’t think you've taken your eyes off George once since he left your side, always ready with a smirk or sly wink when he catches your gaze.  He’s talking to some indie darling or other, a pretty girl, really, but you can see her hand practically white-knuckling his bicep from across the room. She smiles too big and laughs too hard and you hate her, just a little bit. You can’t stop her — you have no reason to. George isn’t yours, not really. The two of you fuck. It’s not exclusive, there’s no strings, but you’re starting to realise you might have let him in one too many times, let him jam something in the door to your heart; you can’t lock it back up when he leaves anymore.

 George locks eyes with you, expression pleading, and you suppress a victorious grin and delicately lift a shoulder in his direction. This is a game you play; he loves it when you get jealous, though neither of you would admit it. You want him all to yourself, want to march over there and prise that girl’s fingers off him, demand that he never so much as look at another girl. But that would be losing, which you’re not in the habit of, so you swallow your bitter fury and wash it down with a long sip of sweet wine, staring intensely at him over the rim of your glass. The girl goes on tiptoes to whisper something to him, and he stoops low to listen, two blonde heads bending together conspiratorially. Worse, he laughs in response, not a polite, awkward chuckle, but a genuine laugh. And he doesn’t look back at you afterwards.

You drain the rest of your wine and set the glass back on the table with a too-loud thud. Making your excuses to the director? producer? you’ve been chatting with, you stroll across the room, feigned casualness becoming harder to maintain with every step. The self-congratulatory smirk on his face as you approach is aggravating. He’s won and he knows it.

“Well, hello, love. I was wondering when I’d get to chat to you,” he says, hugging you from the side and letting his hand linger low on your waist for just a moment longer than he should. “Was starting to think you were avoiding me,” he adds, voice heavy with meaning, dripping with the unsaid.

“You know I can’t keep away from you for too long,” you grin, trailing a finger down his chest. It’s hot in here, his shirt unbuttoned as much as it’s acceptable, giving you the tiniest preview of the toned chest you know so well. The other girl hasn’t said a word, but she’s still lingering, her presence an unwelcome stain on the moment blossoming around the two of you, both curbing your tongues for her benefit. “Come on, I need a refill. We can catch up at the bar.” You phrase it like a suggestion, but he knows from the way your nails dig into his arm through his suit jacket that it’s a command. He leads you away and you shoot the girl a warning glare as you go for good measure.

“You look incredible,” he murmurs low in your ear, splaying a hand at your waist. The warmth of his palm radiates through you, some Pavlovian response to the simple feel of his fingers on your skin making you suppress a shudder. 

“Thank you, darling. I guess you’re alright,” you tease. He raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Fine, you’re fucking gorgeous.” You wander over to the bar, and you let him order for the pair of you. He knows what you like, anyway. Probably better than any man on Earth.

You still keep your eyes averted, though, because you knows as soon as you meet his eyes, he’ll say, “You really didn’t want me talking to her, huh?”

You roll your eyes, feigning nonchalance. “Oh, please. You were begging me to get rid of her. Besides, tiny, pretty little thing like her? She couldn’t have handled you.” You shrug. The bartender sets two glasses of wine in front of you, one red, one white, and he takes a long sip before replying.

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll never know, now. You dragged me out of there before I could even get her name.” Smug satisfaction courses through you — you’ve got your claws firmly hooked into him, at least for tonight. You bite back the reply of ‘Good. Forget her. Forget them all,’ that springs to your lips. You’re cool, you remind yourself. You’re relaxed and chill, and you can do casual. You’re not that cliché girl who falls in love with her fuckbuddy.

He runs a finger along the edge of your jaw, dipping down to play with your necklace. “My eyes are up here, darling,” you tell him, his warm hands nauseatingly close to your traitorous, beating heart. It thuds harder, calling out to him. You pray he can’t tell that if he wanted to crack your ribs, reach in and pluck your heart from its place in your chest, that you would let him. You wouldn’t even resist.

“I know what I’m looking at,” he says. “God, you can see everything through this dress.” He raises his other hand, knuckles grazing your nipple accidentally-on-purpose, and tucks a flyaway piece of hair behind your ear.

You swallow a moan, leaning close enough to him that his breath ghosts on your face. He tilts your chin up with a thumb, parting his lips in expectation. “You’re a fucking cock-tease bitch,” you murmur with a scowl, startling him into a laugh; that endearing, high pitched cackle that shakes his shoulders near-violently. “Where the fuck do you get off, flirting with her just to piss me off? Touching me like that in public?”

One of his hands glides down to the thigh-high slit in your dress, thumbing over the skin there. Electricity races from the point his fingers touch your skin, so close to where you want them and yet miles and miles away. “You wanna play, baby? Let’s play,” you breathe, gripping his neck and crashing your lips together. It’s harsh, messy, an explosion of lips and teeth and tongues sliding together. You pull back, biting hard at his lower lip just to feel the flesh tear beneath your teeth. To leave your mark on him so that when he kisses the next girl, the sting reminds him of you.

“You’re fucking wild,” he hisses, tongue flicking over your bite mark.

You shrug. “Don’t piss me off next time.” You pat his chest and lean past him to pick up your wine glass, brushing deliberately against him. “Come find me when you’re ready to get out of here. And you’re not gonna like what I do if you try it on with one more bitch in front of my face,” you promise, turning your back to him and taking a few calculated steps away before throwing him a glance over your shoulder.

“Oh, and George? Can I tell you a secret? I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He freezes and you give a self-satisfied grin. Your victory is short-lived, though, his hand shooting out to catch you by the wrist as you try to walk away. He tugs you back towards him, and you obey easily. There was never any question that you would, really. “You’re not fucking going anywhere,” he hisses in your ear. “Come with me,” he orders, keeping your wrist in a vice-like grip as he drags you out of the room. He doesn’t look at you once the whole time he stalks down the corridor, the only sound your heels clicking against the tile as you struggle to keep pace with him.

George crowds you into a bathroom, attacking your lips the moment the door slams closed. You barely register the quiet click of the lock, letting him flip you so your back is against the door and pin your arms above your head. The second he frees your mouth you moan, trying to squirm away from his lips against your neck and collarbones, but he holds you fast. He dips his head into the valley between your breasts, licking at the skin there. “I love your fucking tits,” he says, mouthing wetly over the fabric that covers your nipple.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you sigh, voice full of false bravado that can’t cover how weak his touch makes you. “Get on with it, or people are going to notice we’re missing,”

“Greedy girl,” George chastises, but his eyes shine with want and his hard cock presses against you through his trousers. He steps back, and your whole body mourns the loss of his skin against yours, aching for him. “Bend over for me, baby,” he orders, a bolt of lust striking you. He knows acutely that all he has to do is tack on for me? and you’ll do whatever he asks. You lean over the sink, cold porcelain biting into your thighs. His eyes meet yours in the mirror, and he lowers his head to kiss your bare back. It’s soft, intimate, in stark contrast to the rough way he’s handling you. It adds fuel to the sickening flare of hope deep in your chest that gutters and gutters but never goes out. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” He’s gentle, all of a sudden, gathering your dress in one fist and pulling it to the side. You gasp, your cunt fluttering in the cool air, and George grins.

“Come on, just fuck me,” you groan, rocking your bare cunt against him, the friction from the fabric of his clothes burning your clit deliciously. Your breath fogs up the mirror, the tap presses uncomfortably between your breasts and the corner of the counter cuts into your thighs. You hardly feel any of it, singularly focused on the man behind you. He removes his steadying hand from your hip, unbuckling his belt and shoving his trousers and boxers down just enough to release his cock. You contort your body, twisting to look over your shoulder at him, his cock red and dripping, begging for you. He still looks so put together, crisp and elegant in his suit, his reflection immaculate above you. You look even more wanton by comparison, hair tumbling over your shoulders and lipstick smeared across your chin. Desperate, hot desire drips out of you, your pussy clenching around nothing.

“Beg for it,” he orders, and you’re too far gone to feel embarrassed. He slides a hand between your legs, just barely grazing at your clit. “Oh, God, George, please fuck me,” you moan, mind-wiping pleasure licking from where he toys gently with your swollen bud. “Shit, I need it. Nobody fucks me like you, baby. It’s you, it’s you, it’s always you,” you gasp, biting down on your lower lip before you let slip another incriminating admission.

He swipes a finger across your cunt, dipping teasingly into your entrance and pulling away before you can even react. He licks your arousal off his finger, both of you moaning softly. “Wish we had enough time for me to eat that sweet little pussy. Always so fucking wet for me. Don’t worry, baby, you’ll get what you need,” he promises. You watch him reach into his pocket for a condom and shake your head wildly. “Oh, my dirty girl,” he murmurs, interest colouring his tone. My, your heart gets caught on. My, my, my. My girl. The words ricochet in your skull, bashing against your brain, denting it, leaving it bent out of shape with enough room for George to shove his way in and stay firmly glued there. “You want it raw?”

You nod desperately. “Want it fast. Hard. Dirty,” you plead. “Come on, baby. Ruin me.” At that, he can’t stay teasingly out of your reach any longer, guiding himself to your dripping entrance and thrusting into you in one fluid motion. You’re full so fast you’re practically choking on him, biting down hard to keep a scream at bay. You marvel every time at how well he fits inside you; your body feels made for him. Coherent thought escapes you, euphoria twining through all of your limbs at once.

He paws at your tit with the hand not holding your dress, pinching your nipple cruelly and sending a shock of pleasure-pain spiralling through you. His thrusts are quick but measured, exercising a control that you can’t even begin to fathom as you cling to the edge of the sink for dear life. Your thighs bash against the counter, but you can’t even begin to care. The only thing you know now is George. His hand digging into your waist, nails biting at your flesh, sharp pinpricks drawing a constellation of pleasure in your skin. You’ll be glad, tomorrow, to have the marks, the physical evidence of this encounter, proof of the ownership you feel over him.

“Is someone in there?” somebody calls from outside. You freeze. George only laughs, low and breathy in your ear, teasing, taunting.

“Well? Is someone here, baby?” he whispers, fucking into you again as he speaks.

You choke back a whimper, thrill stealing up your spine at the prospect of getting caught. Someone is right there. If they decide to open the door, there’s no hiding the dirty display you and George are putting on. Being seen like this, bent over, stuffed full of him and begging for more should be humiliating, but inexplicably you almost want to be caught. Maybe, if those girls out there could see how perfectly you fit, how well you fuck him, they’d leave him alone.

“Yeah, I’m in here,” you choke out, clapping a hand to your mouth to stifle a moan when George rolls your clit between his fingers, hot euphoria dripping down your spine. “I’ll— I’ll probably be a second!” you manage, his teasing fingers not giving you even a moment to breathe. Footsteps recede from behind the door and you breathe a sigh of relief, letting a string of suppressed whines and curses fall from your lips. Before you can chastise him, he perfectly hits that spot inside of you and you scream out, mind going blank from pleasure.

He groans. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this, baby. My sweet girl, stretching so pretty around my cock.” You whimper, widening your legs to draw him in deeper. George lifts your head up by your hair, forcing you to make eye contact with yourself in the mirror. “Look at yourself,” he commands. “Look at my pretty girl, falling apart for me.” Your soupy mind latches onto that my again, that little word choking you as effectively as if he had wrapped his hands around your throat. “Made to take my cock. Isn’t that right?”

“Tell me you’re mine,” you gasp, so, so full of him.

“What?” he manages between pants, hips never slowing from their brutal pace. Your skin slaps together, wet, sopping sounds ringing through the small room.

“Fuck, George, just say you’re mine. You don’t even have to mean it,” you coax, moaning low in your throat when his fingers brush your clit. “Come on, baby. Who else do you get it this good from? You know you own my fucking pussy. Let me pretend I get something back,”

He stills for a split second, as though your words cut through the fog of lust swirling between you. Another girl might not have even noticed, but you know every motion he makes inside and out. A broken beat in his perfect rhythm means everything to you. He leans down, slow and deliberate. “I’m yours,” George whispers, and you can’t hide your physical reaction, how good it feels to hear those words. Your blood turns to syrup, heart beating deadly fast to keep it pumping through your organs. “Does it feel good when I say that?” You nod wildly. “I know it does. I can feel what that does for you. I’m yours, baby. Yours, all yours. As long as you’re mine,” he croons, breath hot and sticking in your ears. He’s ruining you. You won’t ever be able to lay under another man without thinking of him, of this.

“I’m yours, George, you know that. Ugh, fuck, I’m getting close.” You slip a hand between your legs, both of you rolling circles on your clit. Tantalising pleasure builds and builds, churning in your gut, setting your body alight. George doesn’t let up, words failing the pair of you, grunts and moans dripping off his tongue in the place of gratifying words. Pleasure coils in your belly, winding tighter and tighter, dragging you ever closer to your high.

One final thrust and you fall apart, unspooling under his quick, clever fingers. Euphoria seeps into your bones, sticky heat keeping you glued to George. Your toes curl in your shoes, your legs shake, unsteady on your feet. He fucks you through your orgasm, stroking your flushed skin as his thrusts become more erratic. You cry out something that could be his name, rocking your hips, half retreating from overstimulation and half chasing his orgasm. You squeeze your cunt around him and he comes with a shout, his body loosening against you, his hand dropping from your hip to catch himself on the counter. He spills inside you as your name spills from his lips, smooth and sweet on his tongue. He pants, hips resting against yours, and catches your eye in the mirror with a smile.

“Fuck,” he mutters, grinning tiredly. He pulls out of you with a sickening squelch, cleaning up as best as he can in the bathroom sink and tucking himself away. You stand upright slowly, clutching your abused muscles.

“Fuck is right,” you reply, wincing as you feel his cum trickling out of you. “I think you’ve shattered my hipbones, darling.” You adjust your dress, crumpled where George had it clutched in his fist.

“You love it,” he fires back. You shrug, tipping your head in acknowledgement. “Sit up here for me, love,” he says, patting the counter. You balance on the edge and let George fuss over you for a moment, cleaning you up as gently as possible, plying you with soft kisses when you whimper and squirm away, oversensitive. This is always the worst part of your hookups — he takes such good care of you after, and for those few minutes, you feel what it would be like to be really his. You stand on shaky legs and try to breathe some life back into your body, try to reel your mutinous heart back in.

“Shit,” you hiss, registering your reflection in the mirror. You look utterly fucked, hair wild, dress ruined, makeup smeared, chest heaving. “I can’t go back out there like this,” you complain, swatting at him when he smirks. Of course, he still looks completely put together, composed as if he wasn’t crying out your name and cumming mere minutes ago.

It takes a minute, but you manage to wrangle your hair into submission and scrub the lipstick stains from your face. There isn’t a lot you can do for your dress, though. Your thighs burn every time you take a step, and your bare cunt is desperately sore. George swats you on the ass and follows you out of the bathroom. Matty catches your eye as you slink guiltily back into the party, shooting you a wicked smirk. You can’t help but love him, even if it does mean everyone in this room is going to know your business by night’s end.

“Hey,” George says, still keeping a supportive arm around your waist. “If you really want me, I’m yours,”

Your pulse speeds, your tender heart smashing against your ribs, bruising to a pulp. “Can you repeat that?” you manage.

“I’m yours, love. As long as you’re mine,” he promises, taking you by the waist and staring deep into your eyes. You’ve always wondered whether he could read your thoughts with that look, and now you have your answer. Stretching up on tiptoes, you sling your arms around his neck and catch him in a long, sweet kiss. You link a finger around his.

“Yours. All yours,”

[blood-choke]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this game and how it portrays butchness. I'm a huge fan of lesbian lit and there are so few butches in media that to see a game have not one, but three, makes me feel a certain kind of way.

Aside from that, I was really drawn to how you portrayed the differing relationships between all the characters. Everything feels so visceral and real, it just feels so crunchy that I find myself wanting for more. I really look forward to seeing how it will turn out for everyone involved.

Additionally, (if this is too spoilery, has been answered, or insensitive pls feel free to ignore) is it ok if I ask how you decide the dialogue and event flow of the choices? I was mildly and pleasantly surprised that flirting with Clear and staying with her in ch 3 would lead to "that" scene, and I'm curious on your writing process on how it lead to that.

Ultimately, I just really want to thank you for sharing your game with us. Im just really glad to be able to experience this game and I hope that you stay safe!

thank you!

overall when it comes to structuring dialogue & choices i tend to write a linear path first & then double back to add more branches.

i had a basic outline of the chapter & knew what i wanted to touch on with each route & what scenes needed to happen, and then i just kinda started writing from there. Clear's was actually the one i wrote first, her sex scene was what i wrote first, and then i went back and built a lot of the route around it.

i wrote Clear's and Hana's routes simultaneously since they were so intertwined, but i ended up rewriting Hana's three times, whereas with Clear i just had to edit it a bit. i knew i wanted them to have that conversation at the table about Clear not having any friends, and then i wrote the scene where mc finds the vampire erotica book. it took some trial and error until i was happy with the dialogue & choices at the table, as well as how i wanted to split the following variations. i tend to do the romantic variations first, and then work my way down, and sometimes i have to go backwards and edit as i write because i'll add something on a whim to one variation and decide that actually i want this to be in all of them.

i am definitely someone that's a bit of a "planster" meaning i do minimal planning and write a lot by the seat of my pants. sometimes it works, other times it puts me in a bit of a bind. like i said i tend to set out with specific information/dialogue/scene/etc in mind that i know has to happen, and build up around it.

with Hana the main focus in her route was that conversation with mc; i wanted mc to get overwhelmed at the store, and for her and Hana to talk about it afterwards, and for Hana to be frustrated at her situation as this person who suddenly has to comfort and take care of mc after being replaced by her. again, minimal planning, i wrote almost her whole route before i started working on Valentina's & i mentioned Standard and his proclivities towards Chinese antiques. this made me realize i needed to rewrite a lot of Hana's dialogue to be more inclusive of her race. i went back to Clear's route, and ended up writing a lot of the conversation with Hana there after she gets back from the store, and then i adapted it to the other routes.

Valentina's route was all about the painting. again, i wrote that initial scene of walking into her room, the description of the painting, and then her first sex scene, and built up from there. there was also the brief meeting with Joan, which was mostly just for fun and to introduce those characters early for anyone that went on V's route, so the next chapter those players will have a little jump on who they are. but the main point was that painting & i think it's pretty obvious with how the whole route plays out, and the fact that the painting is always seen by all players.

this is still a game, so it is gamified quite a bit, with all 3 characters having a potential sex scene in the same chapter at the same time. i planned it that way to make it easy for myself and because that's just how i wanted it to go. i put some stat checks in place to add variations, like if you went with Hana or Valentina in ch2, if you flirted with Clear or not, and again, it was a lot of jumping around and trial and error. i wrote a significant part of Valentina's route out of order, and i finished hers last before i finalized the council meeting (which i had written very early on but like Hana's route i had to rewrite a few times)

i like to describe my process as building a tree. i write the core of it all first, one linear path, the trunk, and then i double back and add in all of the possible branches. it doesn't mean anything that i wrote the friendly, romantic variation of Clear's route first, it just allowed me to use that single variation as an anchor and build up around it without straying too far and losing the plot, hahahaha. i still sometimes stray a little too far... but it's fun that way. it was fun trying to figure out a way to make the rival route different, how to change it while still telegraphing the same overall ideas about Clear & her situation. it's also very frustrating, but it's all part of the process....

[bettyfrommars]

hii i was the anon who was asking for spooky recs, and i just wanna thank you for responding with so many great suggestions!! and absolutely, id love to hear any of your recommendations for b list or even mainstream movies!

im incredibly uneducated when it comes to movies. like, ive never seen hocus pocus or coraline (those are on my list this year). and i think i want to watch the lost boys, since it seems like something i would like. i love love love the fear street trilogy on netflix and the most recent ‘it’ movies (i have seen the original tv series). but yeah, definitely looking for more spooky szn watches and reads, esp if they have a good set of characters who are fun to hang around with.

(i also wanna recommend kate alice marshall to you—she’s a middle grade and young adult horror/spooky writer, and her young adult books have a good range of representation. rules for vanishing is my favorite out of all of them, and her books all are different cases that take place in the same universe, and they’re formatted as a found footage/investigation type of thing, where it switches between the victims written narrative statement and the recorded interview and other pieces of evidence. just thought i would recommend, since she’s super underrated!)

Ohhh thank you for the author rec! Found footage is one of my top favorite genres for horror, so I will totally look into those.

I'm glad you wrote back because right after I posted that first ask, I thought of some more things. I'm also going to ask for anyone reading this to give some recs in the comments if they have anything to contribute?

Okay, I'm going to offer another author who fundamentally changed me and the way I write:

Laini Taylor is a YA author, (I consider her YA for adults, if that makes sense) and her series Daughter of Smoke and Bone is unlike anything I've ever read. There are three huge books in the series: Daughter of Smoke and Bone, Days of Blood and Starlight, and Dreams of Gods and Monsters. They are so beautifully written; her words haunt me. Also, Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.

Fear Street is a great series! I wish Netflix would do another. There are, of course, so many great spooky/horror things to recommend, but I'm just going to offer a few of the ones that I grew up with and helped shape me creatively that weren't already mentioned in the previous post:

I'd say watch every Tim Burton film, especially Beetlejuice

The Others (paranormal, wish I could watch it again for the first time)

The original Halloween

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (campy, hilarious)

Young Frankenstein (iconic, brilliant, hilarious)

Blair Witch Project (found footage)

Ghostbusters (hilarious, iconic)

The Craft

Ginger Snaps

Definitely Lost Boys and Fright Night (the original)

And if you are in a vampire mood also Bram Stoker's Dracula from 1992

The Canadian series Lost Girl (she is a succubus, there are werewolves and all sorts of magical characters in this)

The Netflix show American Horror Story. Everyone has their favorite season when it comes to this show, but the first one, Murder House, is totally a must watch. I wish I could watch it again for the first time.

I'm also a huge Vincent Price and Universal Monsters fan, so any of those if you are in the mood for "The Classics".

Those are just a few, I'm sure I'll think of something perfect the second I post this. Can't wait to know if you end up watching/liking any of them! xoxoxoxoxox

[acaciapines]

What does the post ending of 'The Holiday-Dreemur Kids' look like? How does it compare to what's featured in 'So I'm Waiting For The Teeth' and 'Dear Dess, Love Asriel'? You're are genuinely my favorite deltarune author and 'i know i'm not well (but i'm alright)' is by far my favorite deltarune fic (and in my list of all time fav fanfics) and I would LOVE to know what if any future you've envisioned for the cast?

ok well first off THIS IS SO SWEET THANK U SM......i dunno it always makes me so happy 2 know people return to my fics and me being your?? favorite?? deltarune author???? wild.

n all honestly i didnt really envision any sort of future once i finished up the series, i essentially see both homegrown hearts (for the kids) and dess, after (for dess n azzy) as the futures for the cast as i wrote them in i know i'm not well! this means theres a Whole Lot Of Life unaccounted for yes lol but that leaves it open for you to decide! they made it through the hardest part now they get to live their lives.

tho i will say some cute things ive always sort of pictured would be ralsei going to high school w the rest of the fun gang...she gets out of the dark world pretty early so she's got like, two or three years of high school experiences. i imagine kris susie and noelle really run with the bit of ralsei being a foreign exchange student (from their school's closet) just to see how far they can push it. i doubt they're super secretive about the dark worlds after this tho lol once ralsei gets out its like. why keep the worlds separate?

all the kids are way more mentally healthy here lol since they wouldve worked out the worst of their stuff earlier! im not sure what they'd do as adults...kris and noelle sharing a dorm room is still the funniest thing EVER to me. i also really like the idea of ralsei studying religion...as someone who doesnt study religion idk exactly what that would look like, but i think she'd find it really interesting and really relate to the idea of finding meaning in a world, though im not sure i see her as being like. actively religious herself after the dark worlds. i just feel like studying it is a way for her to forgive her past self, in a way? for how she clung to the prophecy. dunno. might do something with this idea one day. probably not, but we'll see.

on the dess and asriel side of things, asriel would meet chara! in this universe xe was dess's friend first but xe and azzy would hit it off too. asriel and dess playfully fight over xir and chara thinks it is very stupid (xe can have two friends!) but also won't complain about the pair of them doing all the chores xe doesnt want to do lol. i feel like prooooobably one big difference would be chara and azzy not having a qpr? that's an idea i like which is why i explored it in dear dess, love asriel, and i like xir having one with dess which will be seen in the dess raises kris au, but for this particular universe i think both dess and azzy being there means theyre all just close friends! chara doesnt let dess babysit though. dess is fine with this. she is not a huge fan of being responsible for children lol.

dess and kris continue to repair their relationship. for missing so many of kris's birthdays theres a good ten year span where dess goes super all-out. probably plans a surprise party that kris 100% knows about but thinks is really sweet so they dont say anything until the very end.

but thats just a few ideas i came up with! none of these would ever be written in any way bc i cant see myself writing more for the holiday-dreemurr kids universe...those stories are over and while i hope to write more deltarune stuff in the future (i have a LOT of ideas for the dess raises kris au), these particular fics are all in the 'it's free real estate' territory. their futures are whatever you could picture!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

hi frank! im reading The Northern Caves for the first time and im really enjoying it so far. do you have any insight or thoughts about The Northern Caves, now that its been eight years since its completion?

Hi!

(And thanks – I've gotten a few new followers since I posted an ask like this a while ago so I'll try to get back to answering asks)

In my opinion, The Northern Caves is pretty darn great. The whole series (which is the first in a very long time to get published) is very good. The Northern Caves itself is my favorite of the books, although even then it's a close call. Even The Southern Caves has its moments. (For the uninitiated, "The Southern Caves" is my personal name for the series – I'm really embarrassed to have forgotten that for the duration of the hiatus. That said, I think it was a mistake, because The Southern Caves would be an amazing series title, and there's a reason that I have used it for the titles of three different books)

Anyway, it's great. I have a lot of thoughts on it, but I don't know if they'd be worth posting on tumblr. This is a long post – it starts with a quick summary of the book series and then covers The Northern Caves in more detail, but the main points are:

1. If you liked ASoIaF, you'll like these books. The worldbuilding is better in these books, and the political machinations better. It has a lot more to offer if you enjoy that sort of thing than the ASOIAF series did. On a practical level, in these books the author does a good job of writing non-ASOIAF material without making it clunky. The story isn't particularly compelling (it's much better when you're reading the whole series – I can't recommend it without spoilers), but that doesn't stop it from being a pleasure to read, because it's actually good fun.

2. If you're looking for a "big book" to binge, these might be the right things for you. The books are over 700 pages and each is divided into two parts, which are mostly standalone stories. You can read them in any order. I recommend starting at the beginning – you will definitely need to go all the way through the books before reading them, even if you stop and start and start again and read some more, because the books are very dense and it will take a while to figure out all the plot connections.

It takes a long time because the stories are very dense, but I feel like the stories really need to be read from beginning to end. If you don't care about all the connections – which is fine if you don't and this isn't a book series that you plan to spend much time with, but it's also fine if you aren't a huge fan and this is what the author wrote when they weren't feeling quite good enough to write better – the stories have to be read all the way through. So I recommend reading the books in that spirit, even if you could probably skip some of them.

If you want the full experience, read the whole thing. If you can't do that, read it all the way through before reading the other books in the series.

3. I really liked The Northern Caves as I mentioned before. It's got very long, very "dense" episodes, with the characters mostly being introduced in one episode and then being much less relevant the next episode, often for years. This isn't just the case for a few characters – it's a very common plot element of the series. The author seems to be a real stickler for how much plot he can get into per story, with the stories themselves getting "spun out" and "filled in" as they go along. It's very "the worldbuilding is here to help" about it, and a lot of the story does feel like it's a necessary part of the worldbuilding (the "history of civilization" bit is a big part of this). But if you have a lot of free time and a lot of patience, you can read these books in their entirety as they were written. Or, if you are very impatient, you can read them in bite-sized pieces (I do this for example). (I've actually posted an ask here about a similar problem I had with another series a while ago – I would get to the end of a story and then realize that there was more story that I hadn't gotten to, and it was much better, and it would just be fun to go back and read the previous chapter in detail, even if it meant going back to the start and "starting over" – The Northern Caves is great for this because it has these very lengthy, densely plotted "episodes," so reading some parts in depth really is the best way to go).

Again, my personal opinion. You might like the books less if you read them "chronologically," but I think the worldbuilding is really strong and makes these books worth reading at all – for me, it outweighs the somewhat awkward pacing.

4. I mentioned that the author writes a very long series of "episodes," but I haven't mentioned how long the episodes are until now, and I have to admit that it is a bit of a tease. The Northern Caves has some episodes that are shorter than others and a couple of longer ones. The Northern Caves as a whole is about 1.7 million words. I think the average length of episodes is about 35,000 words or so, so that is about 45 short books (not counting the "books 1" or the prologue).

The average length of these episodes is not very long at all, in comparison to some published novels, but the series is dense enough that it takes a long time to read.

5. I read The Northern Caves in one big swoop. It was one of the big things that got me interested in this series and made me like it, so I'm sort of biased, I guess. But my impression is that many other people read it in sections – in the "normal" way, the way where you read them in "the order they were published," and in a way that involves skipping a lot of things, because there is a lot of stuff. I read The Northern Caves straight through in about 10 days, when I got really into it, and I got a lot out of it. I would read it again, but slower (which is normal for me, because I'm usually in a much more relaxed reading state after a long hiatus than when I'm reading it for the first time).

(I am reading The Southern Caves right now; it's been about a week and a half for me. It's slower going for me at this point. I probably won't finish this series anytime soon)

So anyway, I hope this gives you an idea of what to expect! If you like any of these things, chances are it is a good bet that you'll like these books. It's worth checking out if you don't know much about the author and are thinking about it. (That is, I'm not going to make you promise you have enough patience/time/etc. to read this, but I feel like I should say some good things.)

[newyearz]

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP? summery songs! been listening to lots of pop and just generally upbeat stuff + got out of school and stuff so i was in the summer mood. plus i had two trips planned for june so i was truly summerpilled -> wrote a summer vacation fic in JANUARY and im not even a fan of summer usually

✂️- What was something you had to cut from your WIP? a lot of background dynamics and relationships i like :( because sadly all of blue lock could not be on the cruise that iyo planned months ago before they knew blue lock existed + i’m not a huge fan of big complex group texts or whatever in my fics. (also i am contemplating omitting the Hot Tub Scene because i feel like if a single late night cruise swimmer saw them making out in the hot tub they'd be so cooked by football dudebros -> but i could probably switch it to a pool scene if i rlly wanted to, i would have to look into like. cruise ship pool hours and stuff. obviously i have never been on a cruise)

🦐- Talk about a time when you made yourself laugh or cry? when i referenced isagi thinking bachira is lovely and perfect while being "straight" to that meme of the guy on grindr where he's defending himself being straight on there by saying lactose intolerant people can still go in the dairy aisle

🐍- How do you deal with it when you come across a plothole? this is a great question - honest to god the main 'plot hole' per se in hg is the fact that iyo and yuu have known each other for like 2 days and are on vacation together. i dealt with this by telling readers to suspend their disbelief and walk with me + by making isagi canonically think it's a lil bit crazy lasdfjasdlfkjasdlf

💥- What does your writing schedule look like? sporadic, there is no schedule, i just write whenever i feel like it, phone or laptop or pc depending on my mood

😍- Post one sentence you think is really great. "The idea of Bachira being upset about the person he is makes Isagi feel sick." - literally not for any reason relating to syntax or diction or anything. i like this one because i really want to emphasize how important bachira is to isagi in honey gold -> i feel like because i write from bachira's pov most of the time i tend to make the whole "you were my first friend you inspire me in ways nobody else does you changed my life" thing sort of one-sided but honey gold isagi specifically has such a great appreciation for bachira, both platonic and romantic. i think he would be fine being best friends and never "getting the guy" (though i dont like to write a sad or overly ambiguous ending so that wont be happening)

👽- What do you think is the weirdest thing about your WIP is? cruise ship mechanics. the whole trip planning thing with iyo and yuu. the fact that their parents keep Conveniently letting the boys go off to do whatever and hold hands and be gay. yes i am highly aware that it's unrealistic but so is BEING IN SOCCER JAIL AND LOSING YOUR SOCCER CAREER IF YOU FUCK UP

🌵- What did you start with first for your WIP? Worldbuilding, character, or plot? plot! i made a google doc with a detailed outline in three parts: general ideas and vibes, a quick one-sentence rundown of the main activity in each chapter, and then a more detailed outline of each individual chapter from beginning to ending. mainly the beginnings and endings are planned out and i fill the middle in with whatever i have from that general top section that i want to use :D but some things aren't getting included sadly

🫀- Do you have an abandoned project? Why did it get binned? i don't have any ABANDONED blue lock projects specifically, but i do have ones on the back burner that might not see the light of day - namely my many half-cooked nagireo ideas. partly because i have gotten so used to writing bachisagi, partly because i’ve never written nagireo before and i’m scared of mischaracterizing them and getting cancelled. stupid ass fear to have but yk i’m always paranoid about shit like that, as if there isn't a thing called Ignoring Fics You Don't Like And Moving On. one day i will give nagireo a love story. there's an actor au, i think at least two pre-canons, and canon divergence u-20 arc that may never be written BUT I HAVE STARTED THE ACTOR AU barely. i also have a bachisagi post-canon i've been working on + many bachisagi wips that i will probably write when honey gold is finished :3 so not abandoned truly just not a priority

🔪- How do you feel about writing fight scenes? i don't like it :( if we're talking physical fights then definitely i dont fw it because i just dont enjoy writing them!!! i’m fine reading them but i prefer to write joy and good times. i’m not a huge fan of verbal fights either... when i was angsty and 13 and mentally ill i would get so fawking carried away with them bc bro was projecting and now i feel corny as hell writing them. even though anything in honey gold chapter 4 is definitely cornier than whatever argument i could write rn at almost 17 rather than 13.

🎓- Did you have formal training in creative writing? How do you feel about that? i did not. i have been rawdogging creative writing since i started - and i love it!!! it feels like a hobby and not something i’ve had to be taught. i love that i've been able to build a writing style and process without taking a class for it or anything... just with my own love for writing and the support of my buddies i've accumulated over the years :3 i want to take a creative writing class one day for fun but i'm scared getting graded on it will make me treat writing like a job instead of a hobby. ik it's possible to Not end up like that but i do not want to lose my love for writing.. my spark...

👍- What was the first piece of creative writing you ever did? How do you feel about it now? if we're talking things i wrote with the intent to post... a fucking hamilton college au when i was 13. quarantine was a funny time. it fucking SUCKED don't get me wrong, but i will never get rid of it - there would be none of my current works without that shitty hamilton fic. and the craziest thing is that i can see some of my current writing style in that fic :) i’ve always written in a very loose and unserious style, i don't take myself too seriously, and it's really evident in that fic and other ones i wrote that year. some things never change. learned better grammar and sentence structure but i still might be gods most unserious and i like it that way!!! all the times i've tried something more flowery and poetic, i’ve gotten bored and not had fun... and it's all about the fun to me. i have fun writing and posting and interacting with people who appreciate my work. if i posted something i had no fun writing and wasn't proud of, i feel like it would be evident.

🥸- Which character is most like you? this is a really good question. if i'm talking about my own wips or fics on my ao3, i will have to go with bachira from this fic specifically... a lot of his relationship with yuu is similar with my r/s with my own mom + i too didn't really have a solid group of loving and trustworthy friends since high school. bachira has always been a fun character to write for that reason, he comes easy to me because he's just so fucking relatable in so many ways. when i inevitably grow away from blue lock i will never turn on him he is my goat. i will glaze fc barcha just for him.

🕳️- Talk about a research rabbit hole you fell down! HOMOSEXUALITY IN PROFESSIONAL SOCCER or football whatever i’m sorry for being AMERICAN. specifically for hg4 reasons that made me sad. i also fell down a pinterest rabbit hole of cruise ship bedrooms and aesthetics but that is unimportant

🏡- Would you live in the world you created? Why or why not? as long as they dont put my former-athlete ass into blue lock i’m down. let me get bachira's autograph and gossip by the pool with bachisagi's mothers

🎻- Where do you look when you need some inspiration? music! and brainrot with gang (and by gang i mean the famous ky who betas everything i write despite not having seen blue lock until like the last week or so). most of my ideas are formed from a Vibe i get by listening to a song i like... the song honey gold is based off of is just super like light and airy and summery. funny story, i don't even relate the song itself to bachisagi at all - it codes as a satosugu song in my head. but the vibes were there

📝- What writing software do you use? Does it work for you? good ol google docs and sometimes my iphone notes app. works great. tried and true. i think i'd explode if i switched to something new

📱- Are you planning on publishing? How and where? Are you trying to monetize your writing? i am not rlly planning on publishing (i’m pretty sure these questions are not geared towards fanfic only writers but i love to yap about honey gold writing process) or monetizing my writing... i think it relates back to the thing about how if i took a writing class and my work was graded, it would start to feel less fun. if writing was my JOB and not my hobby that i spend freakish amounts of time on, i feel like it wouldn't be as fun :( i’m sure that isn't true for everyone but idk i am very much the "i want to do ___ on my own accord, but if somebody tells me to do it, then i suddenly don't want to." yes i am stubborn yes i am just a girl

i love yapping, shoutout honey gold, shoutout op for the banger questions enabling my absolute chatterfest at 1 am when i am busy tomorrow

Writing Shop Talk ask meme!

🫂- What was your inspiration for your WIP?

✂️- What was something you had to cut from your WIP?

🦐- Talk about a time when you made yourself laugh or cry?

🐍- How do you deal with it when you come across a plothole?

💥- What does your writing schedule look like?

😍- Post one sentence you think is really great.

👽- What do you think is the weirdest thing about your WIP is?

🌵- What did you start with first for your WIP? Worldbuilding, character, or plot?

🫀- Do you have an abandoned project? Why did it get binned?

🔪- How do you feel about writing fight scenes?

🎓- Did you have formal training in creative writing? How do you feel about that?

👍- What was the first piece of creative writing you ever did? How do you feel about it now?

🥸- Which character is most like you?

🕳️- Talk about a research rabbit hole you fell down!

🏡- Would you live in the world you created? Why or why not?

🎻- Where do you look when you need some inspiration?

📝- What writing software do you use? Does it work for you?

📱- Are you planning on publishing? How and where? Are you trying to monetize your writing?

--

If you're new to this, it's generally good etiquette to 1) send the person you reblogged this from an ask and 2) copy paste the whole question and not just the emoji!

[technowoah]

Hi! This is my first time doing a request for a prompt list but can you do prompts 1,34,25 if you can put those in one fanfic, or mini series. Again this is my first time requesting a prompt list thing. If you can’t fit those three in there you can just do 1 of them. If anything I wrote just made sense, sorry if it didn’t. Have a good day!

Rather Be Devisive Then Indecisive...

Thanks for the request! I decided to do Techno cause I need some Techno content here!

Sorry it took so long 😭

C! Techno x gen neutral! Reader (platonic)

1) "I fucking hate you" "please dont say that"

34) "one more chance please?" "You're being greedy"

25) "You're right. You are useless"

⚠︎ swearing, indecisive reader, angst, angst, mentions of weapons, mentions of death, mentions of tnt & explosions, Wilbur's last canon life, sad techno, I didn't proofread, this story is so fucking long-

"Dont you see history repeating itself?!"

You found yourself in a huge predicament right now while standing by Technoblade's side, adorned in netherite armor and weapons. You were facing against the people you used once to love, the people you eere supposed to kill. You hadn't seen Tommy's face so distraught in quite some time.

Everyone thought you were the traitor, you lost the trust of the people you once sided with and loved. You couldnt stand to see the pain Tommy had in his eyes and the betrayal Tubbo showed. It wasn't true, from what you heard it wasn't true.

You didn't just appear on Technoblade's side one day, it was a tough ride to follow. The beginning of your journey had you looking desperately for a place to be, a home. You were lost in the huge kingdom with huge monuments and different types of people.

Then came L'Manburg. A place where you could be free, at least they sold it like that. You had met Tommy and Tubbo while on the Prime Path and immediately asked about their blue war coats and they immediately introduced you to L'Manburg. You were accepted a while later, meeting the citizens and making connections with all of them.

Then came Manburg and Pogtopia which led you here next to Technoblade as he went on about replacing tyrant with another. You were always on Technoblade's side ever since he joined Pogtopia. All it took was constant literature sessions and talks about politics and you were on board with his ideals and his hate for government.

You were apart of L'Manburg before Pogtopia and Technoblade had changed your mind on government he made you see everything through a different lense and that lense was beautiful and clear. You adapted his ways of thinking quickly and became "one of his personal favorites" as he would say.

Technoblade set off a firework explosion and everyone screamed and scattered, that was the "go" you ended up attacking somone else that wasn't a close friend of yours. You were trying not to attack anyone, this wasnt your style. Yes, Techno had taught you fighting styles and how to become stronger but you didn't want to fight who you considered your family.

You eventually found yourself on a hill looking over the explosions and swords swinging in the gleaming sun. People below were looking in your direction quickly then heading back into battle wondering why there werent any fireworks hot from above, but you couldnt do it. You just couldn't bring yourself to soot the crossbow that was hanging on your hip. Techno kept looking up towards you as you looked back towards him in distraught.

Everyone was yelling until Dream had spoken up.

"You know who the trader was Tommy? Tommy the traitor was Wilbur."

No it couldn't be.

"No! Technoblade killed Tubbo and Y/N left us behind, they're the traitors!" Tommy exclaimed in confusion.

Your mind couldn't make up anything at the moment, was Wilbur the real traitor instead of everyone thinking it was you? Everyone was questioning if Dream was right or not, but you were so into your own mind you didn't hear that one faint scream that lead to many others.

The ground started shaking like a earthquake was about to happen and then the ground started to break apart and explode revealing the huge amounts of TNT that was placed under the stone and dirt. You felt uneasy as smoke, and debris flew from the ground and up into the air. You heard screams of agony who were caugh in the explosion, screams of anguish who witnessed the explosion and screams of joy.

Emotions flew through you like blood. This wasnt what was supposed to happen was is? You were a citezen of L'Manburg before a citizen of Pogtopia and this was the worst thing you have ever seen. The sky turned dark and grey, the place you used to call home is gone and the person who destroyed your home was the one who built it.

"Wilbur?!" You screamed as you saw him and Philza staning next to what looked like a man made cave in the hill.

Everyone else followed your line of sight and saw Wilbur standing next to Philza talking to him. Philza had a sword in his hand and what is seemed like arguing with Wilbur as well. Everything seemed so chaotic you didnt know what to focus on, Wilbur and Philza, Dream inevitably sneaking away, or Technoblade's glare at you from a top a building. You couldn't bring yourself to face Techno right now. Technoblade was a source of comfort for you, but at this moment you had no where to turn.

The straw that broke the camel's back was seeing Philza kill Wilbur. He pierced the sword through his heart and as Wilbur's legs couldn't hold himself up anymore Philza hugged his son and fell down to the ground with him hugging him in his last moments as everyone below screamed at Philza.

Your vision became blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. Everything was gone. You had nothing left to go back, no home, no Wilbur. It seemed like Tommy and Tubbo didn't want you back in their lives so it seemed hopeless. Falling to your knees you cradled your face in your hand trying to block out all of the commotion outside.

L'Manburg was like a home you always wanted but never had. They were like family and you grew too attached. You loved them like brothers and a sister. You loved them you grew attached to them as well, especially to Wilbur because you looked up to him as a leader and he took you under his wing when you had no where to go, he cared for you like a big brother. Tommy and Tubbo were also another two you grew too attached to because of Tommy's impulsiveness and Tubbo's attention to detail and caring for others.

After the fall of L'Manburg Technoblade had to make everything worse.

He had looked towards you one last time before getting into position.

"Are you just gonna sit there!? We have a job to do!" Techno said while unsheathing a sword.

"Isn't the job done already?!" You yelled back still sat on the hill.

Techno started to laugh. "Barely!"

He jumped down from the building and into some rubble underneath him and you followed him down the hill. Techno had brung out soul sand and began placing it on the ground with wither skeleton skulls in his hands. You walked over to him and he handed you a skeleton skull, you reluctantly took it out of his hands and you saw him smirk at your compliance.

Tommy began walking towards Techno and you in a fiery rage ready to fight him. He couldn't get straight to him because of a small gap the explosion made. Tommy was trying to keep everyone on that side, safe. Dream and Punz jumped over the gap and joined both you and Techno by the soul sand.

"Stop this right now Techno!"

"You stay over there Tommy!"

The two bickered back and forth until they eventually died down and Technoblade spoke up over the talking and yelling coming from the side Tommy was on.

"Tommy, do you think you're a hero? Is that what this is?" Techno said while letting his guard down for a moment and put his crossbow down.

"I just- I just wanted L'Manburg!" Tommy exclaimed back clearly confused.

You werent a stranger to Technoblade's speeches you were a fan of them really, but not when its against someone you would consider a brother.

Technoblade spoke up over Tommy. "You wanted power.

"I wanted L'Manburg, thats all I ever wanted. I wanted..." Tommy stopped talking for a moment, like he was thinking.

"Tommy you just did a coup! You just did a hostile government takeover and then immediately instilled yourself as president." Techno explained to him in a more serious voice than before.

"And then you gave it to your friend, but that still a tyrant Tommy!"

"But the thing about his world Tommy, is that good things dont happen to heros. Let me tell you a story Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus."

Technoblade had taught you about Greek literature and how they could be compared to people in the kingdom today. He so happened to find correlations between Tommy and Theseus at this moment.

You were still anxiously waiting for Technoblade's long speech to end so you could get this heartbreak over with. The need to cry more never became more apparent until now, the need ro run away and never come back but you wanted to listen.

"His country was endagered and he sent himself forward into enemie lines, he slayed the minotaur and saved his city. You know what they did to him Tommy?!"

"What did they do-"

"They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. Thats what happens to heros Tommy." Techno finished his Greek mythology speech.

Tubbo spoke up from behind Tommy. "But he saved everyone!"

"The Greeks knew the score, but if you want to be a hero Tommy that's fine." Technoblade started walking backwards with a wither skulls in each hand.

You had soul sand infront of you and you were waiting till Technoblade set the first wither out into the world. There were wither skulls in the brown grass so you all could quickly put the skulls ontop if the sand. Technoblade thought it was a good idea to have multiple withers flying in L'Manburg at once. You and Techno were probably going to get attacked by the withers too because withers dont know who made them, they just attack.

"Technoblade dont do this! We're so close! Im not the hero! No one's the hero!" Tommy pleaded and that made your heart drop.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?! THEN DIE LIKE ONE!"

There it is. Techno started placing the skeleton heads on the soul sand and you followed suit placing three skulls onto the other. The two withers started to form and grow besides you and Technoblade. You didnt want to do this at all. You could hear the screams from the former Pogtopia and L'Manburg citizens, this wasnt what you wanted. You didn't want Wilbur to die, you didn't want L'Manburg to go, and of course you didnt want your family to die.

Technoblade grabbed your hand and led you to a higher plane, both of you dodging the blows the withers were giving out to anyone in their way. You had made it a top of the building Technoblade was before. You felt like your lungs had no air in them, from the running and and seeing Tommy desperately trying to fight a wither above him, Tubbo shooting arrows next to Quackity and the withers making Wilbur's explosion bigger than it was.

Technoblade started laughing at the destruction and the screams of the people below. You knew Technoblade was a dangerous man, he killed and did it for his own reasons that you didnt argue against. He had told you that he will tell you one day, but this wasnt that day. You didn't want to hear anything from him, you had lost everything.

"I fucking hate you." You breathed out in disbelief at the destruction below.

"Please dont say that." Techno rolled his eyes.

"You're not telling the truth-"

"MY LIFE IS GONE TECHNO! I- My home is gone! Wilbur is gone! Where do I go?!"

"Hou have me! What are you talking about? Did you just blindly follow me?! Newsflash I'm not Wilbur, Im not Schlatt! Im my own person that dosent associate with government so might as well destroy the government physically." Techno looked back out into the chaos.

"This cant be the way!"

"Do you have another plan?!"

"If I did it wouldn't have mattered." You said calming down, but still angry.

"Should've said something sooner." Techno said while walking away from the edge of the building and away from you.

"Again, it wouldn't have mattered." You said as a final statement before he walked away.

You didnt know where he was going nor did you care at this point. You retreated for now and found yourself back in Pogtopia. Going down into the decorated cave and reminiscing on times shared. The moments where Tommy was messing with Wilbur, when Tubbo immediately relaxed when he found himself around Pogtopia and he could be himself, when Techno and you had extremely deep talks in the potato farm.

You ended up going back to your home later that night trying to clear your mind and trying to know where to go next. The next morning your feet had a mind of its own that morning because you ended up at Tommy's house. You had knocked on his door and he swung it opened it with his widened eyes not expecting you to be there. He was bandaged up more than usual, he had scars on his hands and face too. It was a sad sight for you.

"Y/N?! What are you doing here!? I didn't-"

You cut Tommy off by hugging him and trying not to cry at the sight.

"Im so sorry Tommy." You said regretting everything.

"Im sorry I hurt you."

"Hey calm down. I forgive you, but it's gonna be hard ya know?" Tommy explained as you let him go sniffling.

"I understand, you shouldn't feel obligated to forgive me I know its going to be hard to help them grow even though I betrayed them." You slightly laughed and Tommy smiled.

You felt accomplished that day. You hung out with Tommy the whole day, then found Tubbo as well. They both accepted you but slowly but surely were going to forgive you. You hated that they were in pain but they knew you were in pain as well. Later that day you sat down with the both of them and wrote letters to everyone wanting to reconnect again. The two had said they would help deliver the letters while you delivered some too.

The day turned into night and you and Tubbo were currently walking around doing nothing in particular. Tommy had headed home as you promised to visit him tomorrow. You and Tubbo both ended up on the topic of Phil. Silence fell upon you two, you didn't know what to say about that. You didn't know Phil that well, but he seemed regretful. Wilbur's death became a touchy subject between you two. Tubbo then asked you about Technoblade and you had no answer to that either.

Technoblade left without telling you anything at first you didnt care, but now you are slightly regretting having that stupid fight. Days continued to go on and your regret became more apparent each and every day. You had reconnected with former L'Manburg members and asked for forgiveness. It was a slow process but you all became closer in due time.

Technoblade and your relationship grew further apart and you noticed that. You never seen him since the final day of L'Manburg until one day.

You had visited the abandoned and long forgotton Pogtopia once more longing for the days before all Hell broke loose.

"What are you doing here?" You turned your head to see Technoblade standing not too far away from you.

"What are YOU doing here?! Where have you been?" You exclaimed not knowing whether to run to him or stand still.

"Well im used to being left alone. It's not that hard you should try it sometimes."

"Last thing I remember was you walking away."

"Last thing I remember was you yelling at me and telling me that you fucking hated me." Techno said matching your tone.

"I was in a bad place at that moment." You tried to justify your actions when in reality you couldn't.

"Weren't you all!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" You said getting defensive.

"I mean all of you L'Manburgians. You all were going through something. That something was the death of your leader and the inevitable death if your country. You apparently never let go of that side, L'Manburg is still with you somehow." Techno explained to you.

He always read you like an open book. You still never let go of L'Manburg and thats why you went back and left your and Technoblade's relationship behind. Yes that was your fault, but you can try and reconnect, try to build trust again.

"Can't I be with them and you at the same time?" You asked, while your confidence left your body.

"NO! WHAT?! Why would you say that?! Have you been listening to me?!"

"I have! You-"

"No you clearly fucking havent! They are feeding into the very thing they sought to destroy! History is repeating and you going back is only encouraging it! Soon enough the new "L'Manburg" will fall time and time again!" Technoblade yelled clearly fed up with the conversation.

"Technoblade. I wanted to make ammends with you! I wanted to be on your side again!" You pleaded.

"Apparently not because you keep runnning to L'Manburg!"

You were getting desperate, it felt like everything was lost again. Why did you have to chose between anti-government and pro-government. You didnt have to, you just needed your friendship that was torn apart glued back together. The need to rekindle the friendship between you and Technoblade began to exceed everything else and continued to cloud your mind.

"One more chance please?!"

"You're being greedy." Techno taunted.

"Techno listen! I-"

"I am listening." He interrupted you on purpose.

"Seriously I wanted to rekindle our friendship so please just let me do this!" You pleaded.

"That's not going to be happening anytime soon. You know Im usually the one being left, but now that I see you like this I now understand why people leave others." He laughed.

You stayed silent and that gave him the opportunity to speak more.

"Those that have treated me with kindness, I will repay that kindness tenfold. And those that treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends. I shall pay that injustice a thousand times over."

Another speech he would use another time. Your gaze was set on the stone ground beneath you. You couldn't face him and you knew he was talking about you. You weren't going to get the happy ending you always dreamt of. You were always aware of falling out of friendships but you never knew that one of your falling friendships would hurt this badly.

"All that time ago, you're right, you were right. You are useless."

"I dont need you anymore." Technoblade continued and ascended up the stairs to leave. He left you alone down in Pogtopia, it was hard.

"I came here to get actual shit done, but it turns out I couldn't." You heard Technoblade mumble upstairs before you were for sure he left.

You were left in the once lively underground community of Pogtopia. It was quiet and still now with the only thing was a small cool whispering of the wind.

You had your family, slowly but surely it was coming together but now everything seemed more broken than ever. Unbeknownst to you everything would get worse.

[shessolovely-ao3]

In take all your pain (and set it free) was the line "Christina telling him about Art’s abuse, how he had done things, unforgivable things, things too terrible to name." Supposed to imply csa? And if so, whats with the line "they were both still working on forgiving their parents" is Christina trying to forgive her father for her (i think) csa? Or is it in a sarcastic way for Christina like "yeah i totally forgive you 🙄" not assuming anything about you, just confused

back in 2019 when i wrote that i did hc that art did that based on other fics i'd read at the time but now im not so sure. but my fic has been out for about three years now and has gotten like over a thousand hits so I think it's too late to change what i've written lol

i think it's a little of both in regards to the forgiveness line. if you've read my latest MO fic, the ending is basically Orel telling his kid that he's trying to move on from his hatred of his father. orel and christina have same lines of thinking- i think they'd both believe that hanging onto their hatred of their parents and their childhoods wouldn't do any good. in fact, it'd probably turn them into their parents, which is something they definitely don't want. Jesus emphasizes forgiveness all throughout the New Testament, even when he's on the cross - he begs God to forgive the Romans and forgive all those in Jerusalem who've betrayed him and sentenced him to death. In the show, Orel is a huge fan of Jesus and I would assume he's also privy to the New Testament way of thinking. (Because he and Christina are so similar i'd wager she is too) so while part of her is probably like "yeah, i totally forgive you for fucking up my childhood, asshole" another part of her is likely trying really hard to move on from anything that happened in the Posabule household. So I guess, to answer your question, there's part of her forgiveness that's genuine (not because it betters her parents but because it betters herself and her relationship with her own children) and part of her that doesn't want to forgive them, that wants them to hurt just as bad as she did. she is human, after all.

[a-singleboat]

Virtual Reality

Word Count: 2.4k

Request: hi! if your taking requests, i was wondering if you could write a damien x reader, where they meet through Twitch? add anything else you want i always love everything you write, thanks so much!! - anon

Warning(s): like, one swear

It was a Thursday night when you first met him, or rather, heard of him. You had been streaming for five hours heading into your sixth when you decided it might be time for you to log off for the night. As per usual, you took at least thirty minutes at the end of your stream just to talk with your viewers, usually about how their lives were going in exchange for a story from your own day. 

Tonight, however, there was an influx of people asking if you’d ever heard of a streamer by the name of Damien Haas, which you hadn’t, and if you would do a collaboration with the man anytime soon. Apparently, your content was eerily similar and you were, and I quote, “Practically the female version of him, looks aside.” 

“Damien Haas…” you rolled yourself back closer to your desk, hands settled on your keyboard. You typed his name into the search bar, patiently waiting for Twitch to pull up his account. You clicked into the first one, making an impressed face at the purple checkmark next to his name. You squinted at the screen. “Is this him? In the profile picture with the LEDs in the background?” 

You glanced at your chat, chuckling as the viewers started spamming ‘yes’ and ‘oh my god it’s happening,’ and your personal favorite, ‘mom come pick me up the best crossover of 2020 is happening and im SCARED.’

“He plays a lot of Animal Crossing,” you observed, clicking on one of his videos and dragging the tab onto your main monitor so the stream could see it. You skipped through the beginning part, biting into a pretzel as you watched. 

“He’s kinda cute,” you commented, laughing as your stream freaked out once more. There were a few people commenting what looked like it could be a ship name though you ignored it. “Shame I’d never meet him, though.”

You paused his video, taking note of the time, before rolling out your shoulders. “I think it’s time for me to head out so I’m gonna end this stream with a huge thank you to you all for sticking with me through this entire stream and if you didn’t stay the entire time, I’m glad you decided to join in on the ride even halfway through. I’ll see you guys next time.”

You ended the stream, waving goodbye to your viewers before the light went out and you could relax the smile off your face. Don’t get it twisted, you loved streaming and you loved your viewers but just like any other job, it could get exhausting at times. You shut down your monitors, the screens turning blue before fading to black. You stretched, taking your phone up from its charger and launching yourself into bed, opening your phone and clicking on Twitter. 

Much like staying thirty minutes after you were done streaming to talk to viewers, you usually went on Twitter right after to answer questions and respond to DMs. This time, however, instead of opening the app to see a bunch of post-stream questions, your mentions were filled with the video clip of you saying, “He’s kinda cute,” as well as maybe a million people tagging both you and Damien in them. 

Well, shit. 

Soon enough, that was all that filled your timeline. You couldn’t move in one direction without running into another screencap of you admiring the man. God, you knew the consequences but something in the back of your mind was urging you to reach out to him.

After a few moments of contemplation, the lonely side of you won out, forcing you to message him against your better judgment. Without even thinking about it, you found his Twitter and sent this message:

Hey, I’m sorry about your mentions blowing up because of me tonight. My viewers recommended your Twitch to me and I spoke without thinking about it on Live. 

And with no expectation of his response, you fell asleep right there with your phone on your chest and the DM still open. 

You woke up the next morning with a sore neck and a dead phone, which was a terrible way to start your day. You rolled over, plugging your device into an outlet before crawling out of bed to start your day. When you weren’t streaming, you worked as a freelance editor for different YouTubers, helping their editors with their workload or even staying on as a Temp for different companies. Occasionally you edited the odd commercial here and there, but those gigs were rare. 

Most recently, you had received some material from a group of YouTubers, Smosh. This job was different, however, because if you did well on this you could be looking at a permanent place of employment through their parent company, Mythical Entertainment. 

You knew Mythical Entertainment, it was hard not to, especially since your aunt was one of the producers within the company, but tended to ignore everything the company did. The last you’d heard, they’d onboarded another YouTube group (which you did later find out to be Smosh, the same YouTubers whose video you were hired to edit). 

 After a quick shower and a half-assed attempt at a proper breakfast, you were ready to start your day. You situated yourself behind your monitors, opening the video clips that had been sent to you. The first was a sample video, something that gave you insight on what their editing style was actually like. 

But imagine your surprise when you’re staring down the same man you have called cute the night before, his approximately five-eleven stance taking up one-sixth of the space. He was standing next to a blond, who had been marked as “Shayne Topp.”

Despite there being five other people in frame, your eyes kept moving back to Damien’s figure, watching his mannerisms through the screen and laughing along to his jokes when they fell upon deaf ears. 

Your eyes slid over to your phone, now decently charged after sitting for so long. On your screen were dozens of notifications. There were maybe two from your mom, asking if you’d be coming home for dinner sometime that week but the majority came from Twitter. You picked up the device, unlocking and responding to your mom with a, “yes,” before opening Twitter. 

Nothing much had changed from the night prior. Your mentions were still being flooded with the video from last night but newer content had been ushered in, namely fan edits using footage from your streams and, you assumed, his. 

The only major difference, however, was the fact that Damien had responded to your DM from the night prior. The first message read: 

It’s really no problem! My stream had mentioned your name before, too.

Followed by the second:

P.S. I think you’re cute, too.

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Mr. Damien Haas, the man that you had made a thoughtless comment on stream about, also thought that you were cute. Suddenly, the fact that you had been staring at him for the past hour seemed less stalkerish and more like a blooming crush. You wrote back:

Aw, thanks! Have you seen the newer fan edits? They’re all so talented.

You cringed at yourself. A cute boy started talking to you and you’ve suddenly forgotten how to be suave, not that you really were in the first place. But still, you liked to think you had some tact when talking to people that you found attractive. 

Not even a moment later, there came a response. 

Yes, I have, he responded. And I agree! They are all very talented individuals. 

You looked from the monitor in front of you. You had about a quarter of the footage left to go through before you could start editing but this technically wasn’t due until the following night. Feeling emboldened by the fact that he had actually responded, you replied:

Are you going to TwitchCon on Friday? We should meet up or something. 

Anxiously you awaited his response, taking his silence as an opportunity to watch a bit more of the footage and take down notes according to the sample they’d given you. Roughly thirty minutes later is when the next response came in, reading as an affirmative to both questions. 

You didn’t respond, choosing to leave your social media for after you’d finished editing the video. Your heart still pounded, however. Just the thought that there was a possibility for the two of you to meet was, simply put, insane. You’d just heard of the guy the night before and decided that he was going to be your latest hyperfixation. 

But who could blame you? He was a nice, funny guy that showed the slightest bit of attraction towards you. It didn’t help that you were a sucker for guys that were nice to you. 

Fast forward to the Friday of TwitchCon, also known as the first day of TwitchCon. You and Damien had been talking steadily over Twitter DMs and just last night you had gained his phone number, giving you even more access to the man than you had before. But of course, who were you if you didn’t tease your fans with the prospect of you meeting. 

The night before, at the end of your stream, you’d given your fans the little tidbit of information that you and Damien were, in fact, planning on meeting up sometime during TwitchCon and would be greeting fans together for an hour at your booth. 

That sent Twitter into a frenzy, both of your combined fans getting your ship name to trend within the hour, which confused the hell out of a bunch of locals. 

It was nearing the time you and Damien had set to meet up. The plan was you’d meet around twelve for lunch, take an hour for yourselves, before going back to your booth and meeting with fans for an hour or so as promised. 

You had never been more nervous than you were in that moment. Not only were you about to meet your three-day-old crush but apparently a very popular YouTuber. You tried not to let the thought mess with your head. One of your friends, Wilbur Soot (who you played Minecraft with from time to time) was poking fun at you for being nervous about meeting a popular YouTuber. 

After three years of streaming and gaining a solid following, you’d think you’d be used to meeting other popular content creators. But because it was him, you found yourself unable to think straight. 

“What if I fuck up?” you asked Wilbur anxiously. He’d flown in from London for this event at your insistence and because you’d offered to pay half his airfare to get there and back. He didn’t have his own booth as his arrival was very last minute, but he didn’t mind. He signed the occasional poster though his main purpose was to provide you mental and emotional support. 

“You won’t fuck up,” he comforted, leafing through one of the comics a fan had given you. The entire thing was hand-drawn, which was an insane fact in itself. It looked professional, which was what blew you away when you’d received it. “Well, you won’t fuck up as badly as you did when you first met Schlatt.”

You groaned in embarrassment. “Don’t remind me.”

Long story short, you’d dumped a red in color slushy on the man accidentally after tripping over an unmarked cable. It really wasn’t your fault but the boys hadn’t let you live it down since then. 

Half a moment later, Wilbur was poking your side. “Is that him?” he asked, jabbing his pointer finger into your side while looking in the opposite direction. He was looking at a familiar figure walking down the hallway toward your booth. He stopped for a moment to take a photo with a fan, talking to them about something, before continuing on his way toward you. 

Your eyes locked and you gave him a smile while trying to beat Wilbur into no longer poking you. He stopped when you slapped his arm the first time, sticking his tongue at you before going on his phone. You rolled your eyes at his half-assed attempt of pretending he wasn’t about to start listening in on your conversation. 

“Hey, Y/n, right?” Damien asked as he approached. You nodded, reaching out for a handshake but becoming pleasantly surprised when he instead pulled you in for a hug. 

“You ready for lunch?” you asked glaring slightly at Wilbur as he made kissy faces over Damien’s shoulder. Luckily, Damien hadn’t noticed your moron of a best friend. 

“Yeah, I saw this sushi place on the way in if you wanted to try that?”

“I’d be down,” you agreed, reaching behind your table to grab your bag. Wilbur was set to meet with a few other Minecraft streamers, meaning you didn’t have to worry about him while you had lunch. You looked over your shoulder, making sure everything was set for you to leave before saying goodbye to Wilbur. 

Over the course of lunch, you and Damien had gotten to know each other pretty well. Once the conversation moved away from your fans and, well, work, and more into personal details, you found that you actually weren’t all that similar. For starters, Damien loved watching anime while your guilty pleasure was Gilmore Girls. The one show you both had a love for, however, was Avatar the Last Airbender, which made sense. 

Another thing was that he actually enjoyed being in front of the camera while you tolerated it on most days, really only putting on your face cam for the last thirty minutes on most days. Despite that, he still classified himself as an introvert. 

You returned back to your booth much later than you anticipated, thoroughly shocked at the line that had formed with Wilbur at the front of it, entertaining the fans that had shown up early to meet both you and Damien. 

“Y/n!” one fan called, pointing in your direction. Immediately, the entire line turned and gaped at the sight of you and Damien walking together. You greeted them happily, stopping for pictures and verbally promising that you’d stay until you got to meet everyone personally. 

“You really love your fans,” Damien observed as you put your things back down behind the table. Wilbur had set up shop on your right side, chatting with a few people at the front of the line. 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere without them,” you admitted, pulling a silver sharpie from your bag. You handed a gold one to Damien. “I also wouldn’t have gotten to meet you without them, which I’m still sorry about, by the way. Your feed must have been chaotic.”

“You have no idea,” he chuckled. “But everything happens for a reason.”

You nodded, grinning up at him. “Yes, they do.” 

Permanent

@beautiful-holland @toms-order @starlightfound @grandmascottlang @positiveparker @bippity-boppity-boopa @caswinchester2000 @andreasworlsboring101 @imladylunaticbitch​

[fipindustries]

list of comics i made so far

i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.

now without further ado, lets begin!

spike Vanderville (age 7)

you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.

curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time

andrew and the monkey (age 10)

this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame

FIP industries (age 17)

mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)

Disregarding Reality I (age 20)

the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.

i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...

Strangers in the forest (age 21)

here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.

Song of a nightmare (age 21)

another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.

Aika (age 21)

as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?

this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”

oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious

Hello Agatha (age 21)

a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!

there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!

The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)

an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.

the vest kind of madness (age 22)

probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.

to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.

Disregarding Reality II (age 23)

another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.

this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.

Mama Bird (age 24)

my masterpiece.

by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one

Soft boys (age 25)

a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.

Hexen Snatch (age 25)

a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.

on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.

Maxplosive (age 26)

another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.

the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.

sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.

i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....

Lapsarian (age 27)

an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.

took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?

its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”

Conclussion:

looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).

something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future

[toghairm]

» ⑆ ❀  saintg summoned : 🌻 = a character I wish to write with🍀 = a ship I wish to write🎄 = my opinion on AUs <3333

Send me a symbol and I will tell you…

» ⑆ ❀ ---- OOC ;;

So, I’m going to break more of these down because I got so much shit to say (and its not because I’m avoiding writing that verse AGAIN >.>) but I just love to give more info!!

I ALSO GOT WAY TOOOOOO INTO IT SO ITS GONNA GO UNDER A READMORE LMAO SORRY

Because its so much, I am going to refrain from using small text bc its gonna be on my blog to read more of it. If you use xkit to click on read mores on dash, refrain.

There is a fuckin wall of text that I am saving you all from.

🌻 = a character I wish to write with

In general? I would LOVE to write with a Seymour and see how things could have gone if she went through with the wedding and he joined the crew. Despite how I have him for my Yuna (a huge fraction of PTSD, sudden change of emotions and a fear of anything with weddings) I want to keep things different for them. 

Honestly its actually one ship I would love to write for the toxicity, dark themes but also seeing if they work their problems out and maybe they’ll learn to work with each other.

Of course Yuna wants to throw a few hands at him at first.

A character of yours I would want to write with

I have a hard time picking because I love all three despite never playing the game they came from. I just ???? chefs kiss. I’m down for any three esp Guinevere. I love to interact with more female muses in the future! 

Though Hansel got me in my feelings so--- honestly give me any of them!

🍀 = a ship I wish to write

I WISH I COULD RP WITH MYSELF ON TUMBLR BC I HAVE THIS SECRET SHIP WITH YUNA WITH MY OC FOR FFX. *slam hands on table* just an agresive, pissy pirate captain who wants to figure out the truth about her family, where her dad went, and slowly losing her hatred for a group of people she was raised to hate with mISS YUNA. I love Anfisa. I should fix her blog but im stuck with Yuna bc the fuckin verses rewriting. 

And like I wrote so much of this fan fic of them together and at the end before they go kick Shuyin’s ass Yuna pulls her to the side so they be alone and Anfisa is so confused bc like Anfisa was more than ready to keep her gay feelings for Yuna because wow...??? Yuna??? Liking an outsider who’s entire people kill, harm, steal, and kidnap Spira children to keep as their own while attacking them during the life of SIN???? not likely.

And Yuna just “if something happens, I want you to know that I love you.”

and AnFISA IS SO SHOCKED THAT YUNA PULLS HER IN A KISS AND IM LIKE ***SMACKS TABLE WITH HANDS***

i just want yuna to be happy and be with her pirate wife okay.

I got fan art of them together let me a fuckin whore

OTHER CHARACTERS IM WISHING TO WRITE ROMANTICALLY SHIP THING IM TIRED

Honestly???? I’m so easily tempted for shipping. Someone could joke and I be ***eye emoji*** bc hi im sad. I honestly like type of ships where it did involve Tidus somehow in the story and Yuna is slowly trying to move on but its hard bc thats the first boyfriend that wasn’t an asshole and their time was short but she was so in love....with him???

And I want this type of plot or some shit where someone else who realize they like her a lot but know she isn’t interested so they have to PIN forever about wanting to be with her but not telling anyone

and then like she slowly falls in love with them..... like....fuck dude. and of course she doesn’t say so they are pinning in secrecy, wondering if the other feels the same way and then Yuna just “hey...i...um... i.. i like you” bc I like to believe Yuna would be awkward confessing (my fan fic does not count)  just fuCK DUDE

OR OR WHEN SHE’S WITH THEM AND THEY ARE SLOWLY LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND SLOWLY LEAN IN--- A MOMENT OF “OH GOD IS THIS RIGHT???” AND THEY SPEND A FEW MORE SECONDS OR SOMETHING WAITING TO SMOOCH AND SHE JUST “aight fuck it” and PULLS THEM DOWN TO KISS???????????????????????

thats my kink.

but honestly yeah. I don’t have a specific character in mind for this but its my wishlist 

SHIPS IM DOWN FOR FOR UR MUSES

honestly dude imma be real with u

I’m open for anything. I don’t have anything specific. I don’t really see Yuna being romantically involved with them but neither of super high friendships. So, I like to see where they go when they first meet. Of course things can change over time

but for now, I’m a blank mind for things.

🎄 = my opinion on AUs <3333

I fuckin love AU’s and thats why I have so many verses. Idc if we gotta make one up out of the sun’s asshole to make things work- its fun and exciting and IM DOWN FOR IT.

oh???? our muses AU is they are fighting the local papa johns on the planet made out of subway and taxes and there’s a elite team of KILLER HAMSTERS???? aight i’m down for it. 

I love making new things. 

Thanks for sending this in!!!! So sorry its a lot homie

[chazzfox]

SO many thoughts on Frozen 2

So I've been doing a lot of thinking on Frozen 2 after reading a lot of other fan ideas, reviews, etc, and rewatching the first movie and basically obsessing myself into an interesting state of mind. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY. I accidentally wrote out a long, long, LONG post so uh, congrats if you read it. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SURE.

1. My biggest thought by far is in regards to people saying that Elsa found herself in the first movie, and why must she struggle through who she is again? Well...because you don't stop finding yourself, and especially at a young age. I'm 33. I think I got past hurdles in expressing myself and accepting who I am, everything from what were weird interests (to me) and even my own sexuality, three of four damn times. It was annoying. And fascinating. And each time there were deep emotions and investment in it.

Elsa found in the first movie she's not a dangerous monster and that she could exist with and love her sister. That's huge, don't get me wrong! But the anxiety was still there and we still see traces of it in the second movie. It didn't up and vanish no matter how many snow toys she might make children or how many times she skated with Anna. And with that kind of high anxiety, and after years and years and YEARS of locking herself away, she was just at the start of things I'd say by the time the first Frozen ended.

It's totally reasonable, imo, that down the road after finding some acceptance in herself and Anna, she would be wondering WHY she is what she is, where she came from, as there's so much mystery in her life. Her parents left her feeling guilty, lonely, ironically powerless, locked up, and with no damn answers for herself. She needs to find herself.

Arguably, so does Anna. Again, I can make similar arguments for her, lonely in the first movie, not much contact with others, striving so hard to be close to her sister. She achieved the latter admirably, and so her journey to find who she is with access to more of the world is a big deal. She always wants to open a door. And she wants to go through each one with Elsa, which is something that had to be handled at least a little.

Again, you never really stop growing, discovering, and questioning. Elsa may have found a huge, huge part of herself, found why she is there and who she is, but I'm sure she will still struggle a little with her new place in the world. This brings me to another subject -

2. Elsa and Anna now separated. There seems to be a lot of division on this topic, and I get it. I didn't really want them apart either. They really do belong in each other's company. And a note, I don't ship Elsa and Anna, so maybe I've lost some of you here ahaha (I don't really ship anyone though). I love their close cuddly sister relationship a lot and felt they were absolutely robbed of it for so long which is probably WHY they often hug, hold hands, touch each other, are somehow right with each other.

However...at least for the time being I think it's also important for their growth as characters. Elsa and Anna both care for Arendelle, but Elsa didn't feel she was 'meant' to be there, so to force herself there for her sister could be damaging when understandably, she would want to understand more about the spirits and the forest that gifted her mother with her. She is a part of the forest, of the Ahtohallan. And to force herself into a role she isn't dedicated to wouldn't be in Arendelle's best interest, so she wouldn't want that either. Elsa has shown she needs that understanding of her role, needs to be where she feels right, somewhere that speaks to her, and for now that is in the forest with the Northuldra people.

Anna loves Arendelle, loves the people, and to ask her to stay in a place where she doesn't belong wouldn't be right either. Sure, part of probably just nodded and said yes because Elsa proposed the split, but Anna also learned that she can do what can be done without her sister. Thinking her sister was dead, she still put on foot in front of the other and achieved her goal of destroying the dam. I do believe for now just the knowledge of knowing Elsa is alive and thriving is enough for her to feel happy.

They also see each other. That much is left clear to us and it's not a long journey for Elsa lol. Probably not for Anna either when Elsa can guide wind, earth and water to help. ...Fire too but yea lol.

They are apart just enough. Elsa can still drop in and have Anna cuddle her to sleep while Kristoff does...idk...talks with Sven. For as many cuddle nights as I imagine those two have had, Kristoff is a pretty chill dude.

3. The parents. Hooboy the parents. A very valid criticism is that Elsa and Anna's parents treated Elsa totally mcfreaking WRONG and yet so much centers around them, and then suddenly Elsa is dueting with her momma in Ahtohallan and crying.

Yea there's some confusing emotions going on there.

The girls loved their parents a lot regardless of if they really messed up. I am sure Elsa didn't know how to feel but didn't want to lose them as she already felt alone and hidden. The topic has come up that her dad knew the forest, her mom was FROM THE FREAKIN PLACE, so how did they mishandle so badly?

Panic, I think. I view it as a lot of panic, for many reasons. Anna being hurt was the primary one, but I wondered if they thought it could indeed lead to the forest waking up and causing trouble. They didn't expect magic outside the forest, didn't know what impact it could have and Iduna never exactly counted on having Elsa as she was.

I don't think they were bad people. Just unprepared and I kind of think this is how it went down with Ahtohallan as well. I posted about this before but I feel like...her parents weren't able to cross, not even her mom, because of how they squandered their gift. They took something wonderful and locked her away, made her conceal and hide from the spirits that wanted to connect with her. So when they decided to sail off and find answers and leave the girls alone, the spirits said "nope, you messed up, you don't get to come in here" and down went their ship.

But to complete Elsa there had to be something, they had to connect her with her mother's heritage and tie her to her meaning in the world. So, Ahtohallan showed her Iduna. Her parents loved her and if there's one major theme in these movies and characters it is the power of love along with self acceptance. Love is what brought Elsa as she was into the world! And that strong emotion and realization resonated, so we see Iduna as a large key.

Whoosh, Im getting tired, and I'm pretty sure I have more to say...but I'll craft that more later.

Some of my leftover thoughts right now are pretty short...I feel Elsa was displayed as ace, but that really depends on the viewer anyway. As much as I would love to see Honeymaren and Elsa, the brief snippets in the movie don't do it for me, but I am sort of relieved to see Elsa having a friend. She deserves a friend that isn't her sister or her sister's fiance or a...snowman. I'm not sure she really tried to bond with anyone in Arendelle, being that she was still sorting her life out after the events of the first movie.

But maybe there will be some more releases of official material, and we'll see. I just hope some of the absolute hate for Kristoff and Anna stops. I'm not overly into it, it's just kind of a boring dynamic to me right now, but not every romantic relationship is super exciting and stuff. They fit well and we see that Kristoff's first words to her after being lost in the woods are "I'm here. What do you need?" He's a good guy, stop hatin' on him.

Oh! That brings me to another thought though - I read a couple of posts where others felt he interrupted Elsa and Anna's moment at the end of the movie. I couldn't disagree more! Elsa didn't display any negative emotion toward it. I think she was happy for her sister, wanting her as happy as she could be in that moment, and the proposal added right in. Anna had felt alone and at her rope's end in the cave, then she got her sister back and after running off on him sort of, Kristoff proposing. Elsa saw her sister elated. And Anna got to have her sister as part of that momentous life event!

Besides, Kristoff is one of those Elsa counts as everyone she's ever loved within those walls. When they met again she embraced him too. I think Elsa was happy to have family again, have it fuller and to know someone she trusts will be there with Anna as she rules. Kristoff's a silly character and it's hard not to write him off when he's alongside such bright stars as Elsa and Anna, but he has a good, solid role. He belongs and so did that part of the moment.

Ugh, and I thought I was tired before...

Guess this is where I wrap this up!

Please, if any of you want to talk about this, even to disagree, don't hesitate to drop an ask or message. I don't want anyone to think I'm actively crapping on their interpretation - this is how it came across to me and after my third viewing I was finally able to get this written. If you didn't like the ending, that's okay, and if you ship Elsa and Anna, Kristoff and Ryder, Elsa and Honeymaren, Olaf and Gale, you do you and follow your shippy heart.

As for me I'mma hit post and get some cake.

[rogueshipagogo]

ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune  d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

[2k18leo]

TMNT 2007 talk

Okie dokie since we’ve been on hiatus for a long long time, but I still want to talk turtles, I figured I’d talk about the TMNT 2007 film again. If you’ve been with my account for a while you may know what a huge fan I am of this particular movie (of course I love the other films and may talk about them at a later date, but this one just hits differently for me mainly because it’s what got me into the Ninja Turtles in the first place) 

So, I have already briefly covered my take on the 2007 film as a whole.  Aaaand, @my-sai-and-i _and_i wrote a post that goes in depth about the emotional scarring that the fight had on Leo and Raph. It’s a wonderful post and you should def check it out 👌🏼

I am currently watching the 2007 film (yet again (HA what is my count up to now? Can’t keep track. Lol moving on—)) and once again I am breathless at the climactic fight BATTLE that Leo and Raph have. Every single time I watch it, my love for the franchise grows even more. I think this may be because I’m actually such a fan of the TMNT trope that is the constant butting heads of the two oldest brothers (oof sorry not sorry 🤭). I’m also going to talk mainly about this fight scene because it’s literally the EXACT scene that I started watching when I was first introduced to tmnt. That is already talked about in another post, however 😂

Okaaay, let’s get into this thing. First off, the score for this chase scene is already making you very anxious for some sort of confrontation between the two boys. It gives you chills right off the back. Whenever Nightwatcher accidentally cornered himself I got to thinking what it would have been like if we had seen Leo and his trip out into the city instead of the diner scene with the 12th monster. Like, was he just out looking for Raph and heard police scanners saying there was an issue with the diner? Then he headed over to possibly help, but ran into the vigilante Nightwatcher. I can only assume he was already looking for Raph since Splinter right beforehand advised Leo that he needed to get off his high horse and work things out with Raph. Since April and Casey were in the lair, I’m sure Leo didn’t expect Raph to go back to their apartment. He probably went around to their old hangout places in the city (before Leo was sent to South America) but since he had been gone so long, maybe he figured his brothers didn’t hang out anymore since it wasn’t all four of them. Sure, Casey’s a great friend, but never a replacement for one of the turtles. Leo could have also gone back to the construction site that they had partly demolished with that first monster a couple nights prior. Raph did make a point in saying that they needed to find out who was responsible for the sudden burst of creatures in New York. Don’t get me wrong, learning where the 12th monster was when Raph fought it was important I guess? I mean, it made the stone generals stationed in the area, but still not THAT close to where Raph and Leo ended up (they ran quite a ways. A mile at least.)

Okay, back to the rooftop scene. The setting was beautiful and I just— *chef’s kiss* love it. The rain. The red glow of the Red Eye Club sign. Which, I’m just now thinking about this but if an English teacher was asking you what the red sign symbolized I do believe that that could be some sort of symbol/foreshadow that Raph will be the one who comes out victorious in the upcoming brawl. In case I’m not completely giving that a whole-ass stretch, I looked up the Red Eye Club to see if it was a real place but all I got were a bunch of pictures of marijuana so I’m gonna assume NOPE. It could be a minor detail or it could just be a coincidence 🤷🏽‍♀️ I mean the neon sign did not have to be red specifically. Lol don’t @ me 😂

Anyway, I love the way the rain falls on the metal of Raph’s armor. I can only imagine how much of a BITCH that rain was to animate. 

Leo starting off with the good cop persona is very in touch with his character and I like. He’s still the “talk first, shoot later” wise character we LOVE, while Raph is so much the opposite (which we LOVE JUST AS MUCH (ugh sorry im gushing again)). I like how Raph stayed silent. He didn’t give his identity up. He didn’t try to stop Leo from starting a fight. He WANTED to fight Leo. And this was the perfect opportunity without Leo holding back by being aware of his own brother under the suit. It’s sort of like a Red Hood/Batman type scene. And, it’s hardly audible but, Leo then continues to try and calm down the vigilante by saying “The road you’re on is a dead-end. Believe me, I’ve tried it.” He has no idea who is behind the mask. For all he knows, he’s talking to a complete stranger, yet he is still trying to be the voice of reason. The Nightwatcher could be a deranged murderer for all he knows. He is only aware of what the News has been recently saying. You can tell he doesn’t know everything about this vigilante (which, side note but, this all seems a bit hypocritical if I’m honest. Up until Donnie and Mikey got jobs, all the turtles/Casey/possibly April did was vigilantism. I mean, does Leo think that the Nightwatcher is correlated with the monster sightings? Is that his main reason for being a vigilante to stop a vigilante??) ALSO when Leo said “…believe me, I’ve tried it” is that referencing his time in South America? I know he “got caught up in his own world” and “forgot about everyone else” but does that necessarily correlate with what he’s talking about? Did something really bad happen in South America that we didn’t see? Did he become like Hawkeye (cough* Ronin) in Endgame? 

This also makes me wonder what would have happened if Donnie and Mikey had gone out to help Leo search for Raph. It could have been like a Teen Titans scene where Robin was posing as Red X and the rest of the titans unknowingly fought their ally because he was seemingly just another villain. If things played out that way, I’m not even sure that Raph would have put up much of a fight. He didn’t have any major beef with his younger brothers. The scene would have probably been way less emotional as well. Plus, Leo probs wouldn’t have been captured. 

Whenever Raph first wields his weapons, signifying he’s ready to fight, Leo gives a very small smirk. He wants to fight as much as Raph does. But for different reasons. Raph knows his opponent and is angry with him— furious even. Leo… I think deep down he loves to fight. He knows he’s good at it. He knows he’s going to win. But it’s probably been a long time since he’s actually felt that great adrenaline rush of a fight (yes, I’m aware he was in the fight with the first monster but that’s not a one-on-one duel) Which is why when he says “Trust me when I tell you. You don’t want to do this” he says it in a way that he’s still trying to be the voice of reason… BUT it’s also very much a threat. He’s been wanting a proper fight for a while. There’s a certain thrill I’m sure he gets when he’s faced with someone who is probably an even match for him. Even with the threat he gives, he’s fully aware that his opponent will strike. 

COCKY LEO. 

I’m not going to even try to get into the subject as to why on earth Leo cannot recognize his own brother under the suit because @my-sai-and-i already explained that WAY better. 

I mean, Leo is chuckling as the Nightwatcher does his second swing. It’s funny to him because he still knows he’s going to win this fight. There is no doubt in his mind that he will defeat this amateur clown in a costume. But this is the way, I’m absolutely positive, Leo acted as a teenager to common criminals on the streets.  He’s always known how good he was at fighting, so I can bet money he was cocky growing up. And yeah, it’s way different than how he was fighting the raiders in the beginning of the film. Back in South America he acted all dark and silent, more than likely trying to keep up the persona of the Ghost of the Jungle. If he acted all cocky and obnoxious to the raiders, I’m sure word would get out, which might frighten the villagers even more. Being his sneaky stealthy self, he was less likely to scare the villagers, and probably able to keep up the thought that he was just a peaceful legend (kind of like Katara as the Painted Lady in Avatar (I’m referencing soooo many other things, but it makes sense to me 😂)) So, now that Leo’s back in the place where he grew up, of course, his old cocky tendencies would come back. It’s almost nostalgic for him. 

Another thing. Leo is completely defensive for the majority of this fight. He hardly ever throws an actual blow. He jumps back out of the way when the Nightwatcher swings his chain at him again. Which is a completely smart move. Another reason to note that he KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. He’s fought for about 20 years (we don’t actually know their ages in this movie (or do we ?) but I would guess around 18-20 ??) so he’s fully aware of the fact that one of the best fighting techniques is letting your opponent tire themselves out so you can then finish them off and become victorious. But Raph’s temper has always led him to go guns blazing. Shoot first, questions later. 

Leo continues to mock the Nightwatcher because he knows he’s going to get a rouse out of him. He spent a good enough time sparring with Raph to figure out how to egg on that temper. A temper that would then make Raph angry and thoughtless, thus becoming rash with his fighting technique. Ultimately becoming careless and in total defeat. Again, don’t get me started on how Leo has NOT recognized his brother yet. Even after Leo has eluded yet another strike from the chains and the Nightwatcher turns around, Leo still gives a CHUCKLE to his face. He’s begging for that temper to be released. He’s ready for a real fight. And Raph’s more than ready to finally kick his big brother’s ass. 

Raph absolutely takes on the offense with a full charge to Leo as he does three heavy swings. Leo eludes all three until coming back with a counter-attack on the third. Leo does a fair job of holding his defense until Raph throws a huge right hook to the side of Leo’s head. I mean, it’s enough to knock him back a few paces and shake it off. This is when his face really goes completely serious. He’s just been caught off guard. There’s something in him that’s telling him to quit the wise-guy act. I mean, it was a simple punch, something I’m sure he is mentally beating himself up for misreading. Yet, he doesn’t charge back. He stands his ground while Raph is still the offender. 

Then Leo tries to continue to coach this dude by telling him how anger is destructive. This is probably something Splinter did as they were growing up. Also, Leo never once unsheathes his weapons on the Nightwatcher (yes, he ultimately does with Raph, but that’s later on. Hold tight, my dude). Even when the Nightwatcher drew out his chains, Leo didn’t react by drawing his own blades. I feel like being able to hold your own during hand-to-hand shows power/strength, while fighting with weapons shows skill. Which is another reason why I think Leo teased him at the beginning of the fight; he didn’t really expect this vigilante to have had any actual training with these weapons. He’s probably just some punk who thinks it’s cool. Another Casey Jones or Purple Dragon that could probably be knocked on his ass in 3 hits max. 

Leo’s uppercut is powerful as hell. He shot Raph like 6 feet in the air. And that can’t be easy. I can’t imagine how much these boys weigh. They’ve got the mass of a typical bodybuilder + the weight of their shell + the weight of their weapons PLUS Raph’s entire armor. That’s heavy as hell. 

Okay. The “Goodnight, Dark Prince” line. I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem to fit. When has this character ever been referred to as the Dark Prince? The only other thing Leo has referred to this vigilante is Nightwatchmen. Though, I get that it would be kinda redundant to say “Goodnight, Nightwatcher.” 

That’s another thing. Leo never meant to kill this dude. Just knock him out to drop him off at the police station later. Leo doesn’t kill. I mean, the very beginning of the film where he had his one-on-one with the raider leader almost implied that he killed him. Because the shot changed as soon as Leo made contact with the guy and all you hear is a loud scream making a flock of birds fly away in fright. If he was dark enough to kill these types of men (because IF he killed him, that probably wasn’t the first guy he had killed) in South America, that’s most likely the “dark path” / “dead-end” that he was referring to earlier. But I guess being back in the city does make him revert back to his old tendencies (but it shouldn’t completely disregard whatever messed up shit he had done in South America. That stuff should still be carried with him). Not even Raph is low enough to kill criminals. In his first scene in the film all Raph does is knock out some burglars and chain them up for the cops to find later on. It makes me wonder what would it have been like if Raph had gone to South America instead of Leo, while Leo stayed in the city. Would Leo have taken on his role of his own Nightwatcher? In the 2012 series, we see him become some sort of vigilante but he’s got Karai and Shinigami with him. It doesn’t seem very in character for Leo to go solo like Raph did. Of course, Leo would still miss the fight, but I’m sure he’d wise up and get a job just like his younger brothers. 

Okay, here we go. Here’s that brother angst we’ve been waiting for. When Leo first realizes who’s actually behind the mask, he’s not angry. He’s not mad. Not even disappointed. He’s really just shocked out of his mind. Complete disbelief. He just walks closer to Raph in hopes to talk to him. Perhaps apologize for fighting him just moments before, that he truly had no idea. But Raph doesn’t even turn to face his brother before doing a powerful back kick to Leo’s chest. Which, of course, takes Leo by surprise. Sure they had had a couple arguments since he’s been back but honestly that’s how Leo remembered things being with Raph. He remembered small quarrels. Nothing serious. They had always butted heads. Even though Splinter warned Leo that Raph had taken Leo’s absence pretty hard, he didn’t really know what that meant until now. He didn’t understand why his brother had so much pent up rage toward him. 

And Raph is throwing all these words at Leo. Calling him out by saying that he believes the world revolves around him. That they couldn’t possibly survive without him. I’m sure these words sting a bit to Leo but that’s not what he’s focused on. He’s starting to register everything. THIS is why Raph has always had an issue with him. THIS is the reason for his younger brother’s constant attitude. And when Raph says that they got along just fine without Leo, for a split second, you can totally see the pain that causes Leo. Like, that shit hurted. But he raises his voice and retaliates by calling him out on his bullshit. He’s telling Raph how immature it is that he’s taken up this new persona (*cough* still a tad hypocritical since he did basically the same thing as Ghost of the Jungle) because it’s causing danger to their family. I mean, at least the villagers were never truly afraid of Ghost, but the citizens of New York are terrified at what the Nightwatcher is and his motives. It’s all they’re talking about on the News lately. Raph has been causing a panic without even realizing it because he’s been too blinded by his own good intentions. 

But Raph doesn’t want to hear it. Leo hasn’t been around. He left. He wasn’t there when the turtles were just sitting by without a leader while criminals still ran amok. I mean, Raph has been angry at the thought “why does Leo get to go?” “What are we supposed to do now?” And with Donnie and Mikey being too passive to stop Raph, there really isn’t anyone around to keep Raph from straying from this road. How can Leo honestly expect things to go back to normal?? How can this big shot waltz back into our lives after he’s missed the last year and a half? And how the hell does he think he’s still the boss of me? 

And now Leo is trying to explain to him that the reason for being gone so long was to better himself for Raph and the boys. It wasn’t up to him to go to South America and be gone for so long. He didn’t ask for it. Just like Raph never asked to be second best. He didn’t want someone to lead him. This is just how things turned out. Neither of them can help what they went through in the past. It’s just a recipe for disaster when one party is trying to be the best they can be for the other party and positively beats themselves up if they let the second party down. Aaand when the second party is completely resentful of the first party because they were chosen for the role the second party wanted. Leo can’t get over the fact that no matter what he does to better himself for Raph, Raph will still disregard it. And Raph can’t get over the thought of the living embodiment of perfection that is his older brother, so he’s angry with himself for not being as perfect and takes it out on Leo. 

And Raph has become his own leader. He’s become a lone-wolf that doesn’t need a leader anymore. He has good intentions (even though they are not being followed through quite right) and Leo is just coming back and messing everything up. Things have changed and Leo needs to realize this. But Raph also needs to take into consideration that Leo is trying to realize this. He’s been trying to reconnect with his brother. But Raph has put up such a strong wall around everyone that he thinks talking isn’t going to help.

Leo telling Raph that he isn’t ready to become his own leader is a tiny bit selfish in my opinion? I mean, I agree, but still. Like Leo sees that Raph never went on a hardcore training period off in some jungle halfway across the world. So, he thinks, how CAN Raph be ready if he hasn’t done that? But that’s the thing. Leo and Raph have their own way of doing things. Leo, in multiple iterations, tries so hard to have his brothers be exactly like him. If he achieves something a certain way, he expects his brothers to reach their achievements by doing it the exact same way. But Raph is fully capable of reaching his achievements his own way (same with Donnie and Mikey). That’s something that Leo has had a difficult time wrapping his head around. 

I also don’t feel like Leo outwardly staying that he’s better than Raph is true to his character. There’s no doubt in my mind that Leo believes that and has thought it on SEVERAL occasions. But with his “gotta be the bigger man” personality, it’s hard to believe he would stoop so low as to actually say it to Raph’s face. 

Now Raph laughs at this. And I feel like most of it is a fake laugh, but there’s still a part of it that’s real because he’s finally ready to show Leo that he’s better than him. This is the real fight that RAPH has been waiting for. The perfect match. The leader and the lone wolf. The Ghost of the Jungle and the Nightwatcher. Leo and Raph. 

Leo still tries to have him call off this fight. He’s confident in himself that he will win. Both parties are, in fact. They’ve both developed such different fighting styles since the time they’ve sparred together, that they’re basically strangers to each other now. They both know this isn’t going to end well. That things will be different after the dust (rain?) settles. Leo has a negative outlook on it. He doesn’t think that Raph will ever be happy towards him again. If anything, Raph will probably shun him. This defeat could push Raph over the edge. This could make Raph leave for real. He doesn’t want that. It pains him that he has to fight his little brother. But Raph? Raph has a positive outlook. He believes that after he defeats Leo, Leo will then see Raph’s true potential. He’ll be recognized as the best, no longer second-best. He finally gets to prove to Leo that things are different. 

Leo visibly sighs and shakes his head knowing there’s no getting out of this fight. His stubborn little brother won’t back down. It wouldn’t be honorable for Leo to stand down and admit defeat. It also wouldn’t be honorable to disgrace Raph by completely disregarding that he’s his brother and just going for the kill. He’s at a complete crossroads here. So, ultimately, he draws his swords. 

The shot of the two boys staring at each other from across the roof — I want that as a poster !! It’s so gorgeous. I’m just noticing this now but it’s split JUST down the middle in terms of color. It gives a very yin and yang type picture. Leo is on the side where the red neon sign is glowing bright, thus making him glow a faint red color. Raph, on the opposite end, is on the side where the shine of the moon is hitting down, making his armor almost glow a pale blue. Ugh so much symbolism I may cry.  Right off the bat you can tell the differences in the two boys. Raph has been in his ready-stance for a while. He’s been waiting for this. Leo stands tall with blades in hand but not in an attack stance. There’s still that sliver of hope that Raph will back down. It’s still early enough to put this behind them, but that window is fading fast. As the rain beats down around them, Leo realizes that the window is closed. Nothing will stop this fight. It’s happening. There is no going back. 

Per the theme this rainy evening, Raph is the first one to charge. He runs like the brute he has become, fists clenched around his sai so he’s ready to stab or punch. Leo charges in a very graceful samurai run. Also the music. The thundering drums that beat so deep and so fast. It’s such a powerful scene. 

The shot of the tip of Leo’s blade grazing the water on the roof is STUNNING. Honestly, who thinks of these details because I hope they got a RAISE back in 2007 😂 it’s beautiful 

I also love how they both jumped toward each other as their first move. This shows that they are now both on the offense. Something snapped inside Leo to make him change up his tactics a bit. Almost to throw off Raph, who has never been the best at a defensive position. His strong suit is in the offense. 

Still the differences between their fighting styles after the jump. Leo did a beautiful forward shoulder roll, which is a proper technique of coming out of a forward jump. It keeps your momentum going into your next attack. Raph landed on his feet which, may not be ideal, but gave him a split-second advantage to be on the offense for the next attack. Leo then had to block with his sword. This fight goes FAST. I’m watching it so carefully and I’m sure there are things that I’m missing. I love how Leo does a roll over Raph’s shell, and up until now I figured he had made contact with his shell, but he actually didn’t because just as Leo started his roll, Raph ducked forward out of the way. Then Raph does a couple kicks towards Leo’s head, which cause water to sprinkle EVERYWHERE and it’s gorgeous. Raph is just going ham and not letting up on Leo as he’s still going for those strikes. (Lol I took a stage combat course over the summer so I know a little bit of the lingo (but good god I am no expert so please call me out if you know I’m using improper terms)) Watching this scene makes me want to do a move chart with a list of moves they are doing and in the order they’re doing it haha. Finally, Leo is able to squeeze in two strikes towards Raph, both of which he ducks and then blocks. 

The camera angles are wonderful. Have I talked about that yet? I mean the shot of the two of them squaring off. The little shot of the two of them fighting between the E and the D in the neon sign. And even the upcoming shot from below when they’ve got their weapons locked together. So beautiful. 

This scene also really shows the details of the Nightwatcher suit. 

And when Leo is able to do an X cross block with his swords at the downward blow Raph is throwing with his sai, and the camera angles are just moving with the characters. UGH. Here you can see that Leo really is mad. The fury of the fight is showing through his eyes as he watches his brother with a predator-like stare. *frantically looks up synonyms for furious* and boy oh boy, Raph is just seething as he twirls his blades. This small segment of them circling each other (sort of like a Spaghetti western style) is a fighting trope that I really dig. Sais are actually a lot larger than I gave them credit for. Those sharp boys are HUGE. 

The way they have their teeth bared as they circle each other reminds me so much of two very dominate male animals fighting. Like two lions fighting for the pride. When Leo finally comes to a stop his eyebrows furrow just a tad bit more, almost impatiently waiting for Raph to make another offending move. Or possibly giving thought as if the fight was coming to its end. And Raph’s pupils are crazy dilated as he charges yet again. It’s like a sickness that has infested his mind, this constant need to one-up his older brother. It’s making him crazy. And the heaviness of that armor is making Raph charge like a rhino or something. And the shot of Leo tightening his grip on his blade gives the implication that there may have been a split second where he believed Raph was ready to be done with the fight. 

Their eye contact hardly ever breaks during this scene. Raph is wanting to see that split second of worry in his brother’s eyes. He’s wanting to see that hesitation. 

Now Leo charges and he has taken full offense. He strikes at Raph many times, closing him into the wall under one of the two signs. He throws seven blows before doing a jumping spin kick to Raph’s abdomen. You can tell that blow sent Raph back a ways, maybe even farther if that wall wasn’t there to stop him. He probably has some form of whiplash. And even as he’s starting to lock eyes with his opponent again, Leo’s sword comes RIGHT BY HIS NECK. Leo literally got so close to making a fatal would for Raph. And no, Leo had no intention of killing Raph. He was probably aiming to give Raph a nasty slash on his cheek. Just a warning. Something that would remind Raph to stay in his place. 

Now here it is. The locking of their weapons. The climax of the fight. Raph is enraged and is gritting his teeth so hard that he’s shaking. In the shot from below, you can see the absolute force that they are using to one-up the strength of the other as their muscles are just quivering. And Raph tries to make himself become larger to push Leo back. Leo gives a quick glance down to his weapon in fear that the thin blade will give out. Swords aren’t meant to withstand this kind of pressure. 

And when they do break. b o i. The shock and pain that sweeps through Leo is heartbreaking. He just lost. Even before Raph throws the final blow. Leo’s swords are finished, just as he is. His swords. The weapons he’s most likely had since he became leader all those years ago. A literal extension of his body. Taken away from him in an unforgivable instant. And right as Leo is taking a glance back up to Raph, Raph is already coming up to powerfully kick him straight through the jaw. Through his kick, Raph is still in his jump twirling around to deliver the fatal blow to his brother’s head. The spear of his sai is centimeters away from Leo’s head as he falls back and hits the concrete behind him. As soon as his eyes open after being knocked back, he registers how close that blade was to piercing his skull. He’s been around long enough to recognize a deadly shot. You can tell his mind is racing in that fraction of a second as he sees the blade and looks back up to Raph to question why on earth he would throw such a potentially devastating blow. And just like that, Raph standing above with Leo pinned to the ground, he has won. He has defeated Leo. Even still, you can see their expressions change numerous times as they process what has just happened. Raph still bares his teeth in anger/triumph. He’s finally showing Leo what he thinks of his “place”. Finally showing him that he is a worthy opponent to Leo. 

Again, Leo is in shock. All he’s thinking is “why” and “what” and many other synonyms for said terms. You can see his eyes flit between Raph’s own as he continuously tries to read what his brother is thinking. Then his brows furrow once more as it finally sinks in. Raph hated Leo for so long. Up until the point where he came close enough to kill him. It didn’t matter how much Leo trained to be better for Raph. Raph still hated him. Every fiber of his being. He’s confused and frightened still as to why. Just because they fought doesn’t mean there was any resolution. Leo is still left in the dark as to WHY his brother actually despises him. 

Raph, still seething, is beginning to shake all the way up to his face. Then it hits him. What he’s done. His pupils widen as his eyebrows slowly shift up. That’s Leo. That’s his older brother. That’s his family. That’s who he’s got pinned down. Who he nearly sent a sharp blade through the skull. Who he nearly murdered. Leo is still staring up at him, I’m sure wondering how someone could be filled with so much hate. Maybe for a split second, if the Ghost of the Jungle actually did kill those raiders in South America, Leo saw himself in Raph. Perhaps that scared him. This could have been the path Leo was headed down if it wasn’t for April coming and pleading for Leo to return home. No one was able to help Raph. No one tried to stop him from going too far down this path. Was it because he had been absent? Was this all because he left? This is what Raph really thinks of Leo, huh? 

I love how no words are spoken here, yet again. It’s brilliant what can be said without any actual words. There’s so much emotion between the boys after what just happened. 

And here’s Raph again. Still processing. He tries to shake it away as if it’s just a bad thought or a nightmare. He’s in disbelief of his own actions. He then starts to shy away from Leo as if in apology but honestly what’s to be said after that that will make everything better? He also looks a little to the right of Leo, but we don’t get to see what he’s looking at. Up until this point, I’ve always just figured he was just looking away in thought, not on anything in particular. But now, I feel like he could possibly be looking at the rain falling on the concrete roof as if to help him figure out that this is reality. That he’s actually here in this moment. And so is Leo. OR, he could be looking at Leo’s broken swords, which is also bringing him back to reality. He destroyed a part of his brother. He could have done so much more destruction. He gets up ever so gently as if Leo is a paper doll that will break under his weight or a sudden shift of movement. 

Leo still clutching onto his sword handles is probably subconscious instinct, like when something suddenly scares you and your muscles clench up and you hold tighter onto whatever. And here you can see that he’s actually showing that he’s in pain. His adrenaline is wearing off so the blows from just moments before are actually beginning to enflame his body. I’m sure there’s a part of him that’s scared of Raph now. Like there’s no more teasing or mocking. If he were to try it again, I’m sure he believes things could spiral out of control again. Something neither of them wanted anytime soon. His face is a little hard to read when he stands up, but mostly because he’s in pain and is showing that in his gestures and expression. Knowing Leo, he’s probably mentally asking so many questions. I’m sure he wants to talk. I’m sure he wants Raph to talk. But what on earth are either of them to say? 

They’re exhausted from the fight. Leo is visibly heaving his body. Raph is still stunned as ever as his eyes are fixed on his brother who is SOMEHOW ALIVE ?? He shakes his head slightly as the thought creeps through his mind again. As the more devastating idea enters. He doesn’t even want to consider what the aftermath would have been like. What if it actually happened. What if Leo wasn’t standing right in front of him? What if he was still on the concrete ground, covered in rain pellets, immovable. Just… still. With a single sai protruding from his head. No. He messed up. How could things ever be the same again? How could he move on from this? How could he go home and face his family? His brothers? Splinter? He feels like such a little kid. A scared child who’s worried about the consequences of his actions. He would be disowned. He would be shunned. He would be hated. What was he to do? He glances down at his weapons, still in hand, and gives a tiny gasp. These were almost murder weapons. Of his own brother’s death. So, he runs. Any specific destination, probably not. He just needed to be away from Leo. He has no idea if he’ll ever see him again. Or his family. He just messed up way too horribly. How would anyone be able to forgive him? How could Leo even be facing him?

As he turns away to disappear into the night, Leo inaudibly tries to call him back. Even after all that, Leo’s still trying to reach out to him. He doesn’t want Raph to leave. This is something they NEED to discuss. He’s not mad or angry at his brother. He’s confused. He could see it in Raph’s eyes that Raph was guilty about what he almost did. I’m sure he doesn’t audibly call out to Raph because he’s partially too exhausted to do so. Plus, I’m sure there’s still a bit of fear right on the surface. 

As Raph runs, he is most definitely ugly crying. But we can’t see that because of the pouring rain :’D so. And then Leo gets captured and yadayada. Wow. I think I may be FINALLY done talking about this 😂 I’m exhausted. If you read this much I’m honestly super proud of you and I appreciate you haha you’re amazing. If you have anything you want to talk about concerning the ninja turtles (preferably the 2007 film because it’s fresh on my mind, but I’m also down to talk about the other movies or the tv shows) don’t even hesitate to ask. I love talking about the turtles. We can debate certain topics, gush about OTPs, talk about issues we had with certain things. I love all that. 

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and the ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE! : MLP Fan Fiction : Part 4 of 21

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DARING DO and the

ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE!

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck) @ask-de-writer​

And

Carmen Pondiego @askcarmenpondiego​

Cover Art by

Doctor Dimension

52630 words

© 2020 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 08/26/15

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge.  I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.  

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions is actively encouraged.

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Horsetense looked up from reading a romance novel, to judge by the cover art.  Smiling, she replied, “I really did not expect to see you again, after yesterday’s little upsets!  Here, let me send it up!”

She took Daring Do’s envelope and put it into a vacuum cartridge and dropped it into a tube.  With a whoosh, it was gone.  In a few minutes there was a whoosh and clunk as a cartridge returned.  It held a copy of the original document and a note:

“This is the ONLY acceptable agreement.  We will not back you at all if you do not sign!

Isa Robber

Mystic Overthrow

Crule Tyranny”

Reading the note, Daring smiled and wrote across the Document in deep soaking indelible marker, “These terms are the sort of toxic trash that the composting facilities will refuse!  I do too!  Find another sucker!  D.D.”

Horsetense looked sour as she returned the document with a clack and whoosh.  She observed, “The Partners won’t like that!”

Daring Do patted her hoof and replied, “They don’t seem to like anything that is honest.  I hope that you find a better position than this one soon.”

She turned on her hoof and was leaving when the system did its whoosh-clack.  The note in it said:

“Our generous offer is withdrawn.

Good luck in your year long wait to sell your latest major find to the Royal Museum! R.O.T.”

Daring Do smiled serenely, showed the receptionist the note and told Horsetense, “See this? You might find the noon news amusing!”

She sauntered out, the note safely in her saddle bag.

She was about to return to the Adventurer’s Guild for a nice luncheon when her brows drew down in a V of concentration.  Not only the waiter’s news but many other things began to fall out of their accustomed places, making a mess of her orderly mind.

It was a feeling that she knew well.  It had led her to almost all of past expeditions.  When things are not as they should be, the first stop is the Royal Library.

As she climbed the steps, she admired the allegorical carving of the doors.  The sun and moon arising together over the field of knowledge.  The doors, obeying an ancient spell, opened impressively for her.

Inside, she was greeted by the wonderful odor of books, scrolls, manuscripts, codices of many sorts. This was the scent of her true heart.  

Lurking in the overall scent, was the recent addition of fire proofing and extinguishing spells. They were a wise precaution whose necessity was shown by the Golden Oak Library disaster of Ponyville.  Some still wondered how one of the most magically powerful beings of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle, could have forgotten something so basic as fire suppression spells, just when she most needed them.  That, however, was not germane to her visit.

She walked up to the research desk and presented her Royal Pass, personally sealed by both Luna and Celestia.  “I need full access to the Closed and Sealed Stacks, please,” she smiled at the young librarian.

Wide eyed, after staring at the pass, she turned and almost galloped to a Senior Librarian.  She whispered, pointing back at Daring Do.

The senior came over and asked, “Reason for your visit, Antiquarian Do?”

“I have come across some discrepancies in research concerning the ancient X'ibian Empire.  I already know, from previous work here, that the answers are not to be found in the ordinary open or closed stacks.”

The senior took Daring Do’s pass and inserted it into a spell reader.  It chimed.  The four nearest Closed Research Stacks simply faded away leaving a huge pair of doors appearing to be iron bound ancient oak.  Daring Do was not deceived. She knew that the reality behind the glamor spell was four tonne Military Armor Grade steel, sealed from forced entry or exit.  She also knew that there were excellent reasons for being sealed against both!  This was not a library for the faint of heart!

Resuming her pass, she asked, “May I have Apprentice Librarian Blendin to assist my studies, please?  He and I have worked together before this.  I have found him to be an excellent assistant.”

Before setting the opening spell, the Senior Librarian made a note and called over a Magic Net system, “Apprentice Librarian Blendin to the Canterlot Main Doors, please.”

It took a few minutes before the signal that he was present lit.  The Senior Librarian tapped the opening spell.  The great doors did not swing or retract, as one might expect.  They became a thin seeming vapor.

Daring Do trotted through it without any problem.  She smiled at her half brother and said, “We have a fun one!  The Heart of Discord not only might be real, it might even be something that belongs here or in the Warehouse!”

Blendin’s brows shot up.  “I would be laughing right now, Sis, if it was anypony but you who said that.  What brings this on?”

Daring Do snickered and replied, “Disorder in what I thought I knew and a conversation with somepony from an organiation that I ran into while searching for the Darkling’s Tomb.”

Showing a side that was rarely seen when he was off work, Blendin promptly asked, “The Ancient Guardians?”

“Exactly.  One told me today that they lost the location of Im Farst’s tomb during the Chineighese invasions of a thousand years ago.  In short, THEY are certain that the Heart of Discord is there.  They just don’t know any longer, where, exactly.”

Blendin’s eyes got a far-away look to them as he dug through the encyclopedic knowledge that even an Apprentice Librarian needed.

“Where do you want to start, Sis?”

“At the beginning.  With the death and funeral of Im Farst.”

Blendin nodded briskly.  “That is easy, then.  There are only three contemporary documents of it. They are followed by the wall painting but it is later.  It will take a few to access them.  Are you willing to use a Twilight Closed Reading spell to keep from disturbing the actual documents.  They are very fragile.”

“If you recommend it, Blendin, yes.  What are they?”

“One is an actual scroll painting on lotus root paper.  It is likely the most delicate.  It is a traditional Xibian landscape with a weeping dragon and a eulogy to Im Farst.  The eulogy is signed Wisdom.  The other two are thin sliced bamboo fold books, both with fire damage.”

He actually went to an OLD physical card file and leafed gently.  Puzzled, he checked again.  “I wonder how long ago this happened?” he inquired of empty air. “There are FOUR things here.  I found two cards stuck together.  I will have to speak to a Senior Librarian about that.”

Daring Do overheard him and looked up from her magically generated pages of perfectly duplicated documents.  They WERE fascinating in their own right.

“What did you find, Blendin?”

“A carved stone inventory made at the time of interment.  It is cracked across but otherwise intact. I assume that you want it?”

“Absolutely!  Also, any provenance or location of finding!  Not only the stone, but everything known of it!”

Blendin smiled sadly and gave her a thin file.  “The stone was found in a Chineighese open air market about eight hundred years ago and given into Royal Care.  Not much help there.”

He did develop the copy spell, giving Daring Do all of the visible surfaces of the stone, top, thin sides and back.

Daring Do began to scan the stone, her brows knitting now and again as she found and solved an ideogram that was new to her.  She pulled out a magnifier for much of it.  The ancient engraving was surprisingly small and tightly compacted.

Blendin watched his half sister’s reading with awe.  “How can you do that, Sis?  I know at least a hundred scholars of Ancient X'ibian and not one of them can just snap out the meaning of a new ideogram like that!”

She looked up for a moment. “It’s really not too hard, Blendin.  The construction of ancient X'ibian ideograms follows a rigidly logical system from about a hundred bases.  Once you know those, the rest follows, except for bad handwriting, of course.”  She grinned.  “That is nothing new at all.”

Blendin nodded agreement and then brightened up.  “I need to do an advancement paper in the Library.  Mind if I take that tip and develop it?”

Absently muttering, “Be my guest,” Daring Do returned to her study.

“Pardon, Sis.  I need more space for you.”  Blendin grabbed the end of the Library table and pulled.  It stretched out another three meters, growing extra legs as it did so.

Daring Do raised her eyebrows as she watched.  “Handy trick, that!”

“You know it, Sis.  I needed the space to set out the more modern works, you know, from four hundred PNW to the End of Exile.”

“Four hundred Post Nightmare Wars?  Nothing earlier?”

“According to the Master Index, nope.  A long dry spell there.  Then the liter-ature explodes.  All the mystical shit and such.”

She nodded and returned to deciphering the fold books and the painting.  She was nearly done with the painting when she asked, “Can I get modern paper copies of these old documents?  I just spotted something curious.”

“Not a problem, Sis.  I will do a contagion duplication on them.  You will be able to take those copies if they pass the Security of Information checks.  I did not bother looking at that info when I set them up for you.”

Blendin was systematically setting out the later documents by date when he stopped cold.  

“This makes no sense at all, Sis.  Check me on this.  When Im Farst was buried in his hidden tomb there was no trace of the Heart of Discord.  

“Then, IN EQUESTRIA, the tales of the Heart of Discord begin to show up in print about four hundred PNW.  The wall painting that is the only known documentation of it was not found until 653 PNW.  

“It gets worse.  The tomb that the painting is in dates quite exactly.  It was made 150 years after the death of Im Farst but not found until 653 PNW.”

Daring Do stared at Blendin’s work in rising excitement.

“It makes perfect sense after all!  Who was the wife of Im Farst?”

Blendin actually took time to consult the Index again.  “Her name was Wisdom.  Legend says that she was a dragon.  How does that make any sense at all?”

Daring Do took a sheet of paper and a writing brush.  Inking it professionally, she wrote a character.

“First, remember that there were no male or female names in ancient X'ibian.  This thing called a SHI was added to a surname or single name to indicate female and left off for male names!  It was silent in ancient X'ibian.

“Now look at this!”  She quickly drew another character.  “That is the ancient character for Wisdom.  This one is Discord, the Dragonequis.  Add a Shi to Discord and what do you see?”

Blendin stared at the two characters in consternation.  “Wisdom!  Discord with a Shi and Wisdom look the same!”

“Right!  Im Farst really was married to a dragon.  Eris, the female form of Discord.  

“The Vase of Wisdom is in all of these inventories!  A hundred and fifty years later, on a tomb wall, the vase was named without the Shi and the Heart of Discord was born!”

Blendin looked carefully at his time-line of publications and written down tales.  He thoughtfully accessed the Index again.

He added a whole selection of more material from the Last Nightmare War onward.  

Softly, he said, “Here she is. It all begins with the Tales of Aleax the Blind.  This dates to only 115 PNW.  Eris, the Dragonequis, is asked if ever she knew love.  Her reply is, ‘In a land far to the East, I left my love a vase that I made.  I left my Heart in his tomb.  Im Farst was his name.’  She shed a few tears and asked what reward was wanted for bringing her that memory.”

Daring Do sadly offered, “That explains so much.  Blendin, I need these inventories, including the stone’s upper surface and that landscape painting with the Im Farst eulogy on it.”

Blendin went to the Index and lifted a very modern Magic Net mirror up from a concealed pocket.  He tapped codes and looked carefully at the results.  Grinning, he tapped a whole set of new codes.

“They will accept my paper on the reading of Ancient X'ibian ideograms!  They also cleared modern paper copies of the things you asked for.  They are now locked to the papers that they are on.  Feel free to take them, Sis!”

Returning, Daring Do saw the enormous steel doors simply go to mist again.  She paused long enough to say, “Best of fortune on the paper, Blendin.  It is going to keep you busy, I promise it.”

With a grin, he replied, “I know, Sis.  I do know.  Thanks for the tip.”

Daring Do walked out to the Research Desk and Logged out, showing her copies to the Senior Librarian.  There was no sign behind her of the massive secret doors. Just the ordinary closed stacks.

If Daring Do was walking like nothing of any importance had changed, her mind was racing!  It WAS real!  The Vase, the Heart of ERIS, rather than Discord, was there. The tomb of Im Farst was a fact!

She was pretty sure how to find it too!  That, she had failed to mention to her half brother, Blendin.  Best not to give any possible rumor a root to grow.

Ensconced in the Adventurer’s Guild’s secure communication room, Daring Do tapped up codes on the Secure Magic Net Mirror there.  She was greeted by the surly face of Count Umber.  He still had a plaster on the bruise over his right eye from their earlier altercation.  He reached to cut off the call.

With a smile that could have flash frozen a polar bear, Daring Do said serenely, “Please do, Count.  Princess Luna audits all incoming calls.  When she finds that you cut off a Private Antiquities Emergency call, you will be in so much hot water that you will be lucky to retain your County.  Luna herself gave me this code after the debacle of the Golden Necklace of Pharow Underrock.”

Putting the knife in deeper and twisting, she added, “That was at the same time that she gave you your present work.  It is amazing how much better the Museum Acquisition Policy has become.  I have already been paid for the balance of the Pharow Underrock Collection.”

With a growl that would have done credit to hungry bear, Count Umber put her through.  Princess Luna was sitting in a bath up to her withers, gently fanning her wings in the warm water.  There was a squadron of blue bath duckies hidden by lumps of bubble foam.  They were preparing to ambush a similar squadron of yellow bath duckies.

She looked up from her bath game and said, “What is the problem with the Underrock Collection? Umber has noted that you are calling about it.”

“With due respect, your Highness, he is absolutely wrong.  I am calling about a thing connected to the legal firm of R.O.T.”

Princess Luna sat up suddenly, water cascading off her shoulders.  “COUNT UMBER!  GET OFF THIS LINE!  ALL CALLS ON THIS CODE GROUP ARE ABSOLUTELY PRIVATE!  You were given strict instructions about the call system.  YOU HAVE VIOLATED ONE OF THE MOST BASIC ONES!  We will discuss your position in Canterlot when this call is done!”

She tapped a few codes in her bathroom mirror.  “There.  The nuisance is removed.  By Royal Guards.  Now we are private.  What do you need to discuss?”

“R.O.T. is mounting an expedition to X'ibia, in the far desert regions of the Chineighese Empire.  They are searching for the Heart of Discord.  Their care with priceless antiquities  was shown during the break in at my University office.”

“There have been many expeditions to search for the Heart of Discord, Daring Do.  None has ever succeeded, lending much credence to the notion that it is legendary.  Why are you so concerned now?”

“Because, your Highness, today, doing research at the Great Library, I discovered that the Vase of Wisdom is perfectly real.  Wisdom was Im Farst’s wife, the Dragon Queen of ancient X'ibia.

“How well do you know the writing of that ancient land?”

“Excellently, my dear.  So, what you found is the connection between Eris now and Wisdom, the Dragon Queen then?”

“You do not seem surprised, your Highness.”

“Only saddened that it will arouse such heartbreaking memories in my friend.  We must tell her that the secret is out.  How much more do you know of this matter?”

“I believe that I know where Im Farst’s tomb is.  Wisdom painted a landscape with a weeping dragon and inscribed her eulogy to him.  I have a copy from the Library.  I am fairly sure that it shows the tomb’s hidden location.”

Luna sort of sank into her bath. “You are correct.  We must tell her.  Now.  Together.  I cried with her for many nights when he died.”

Stiffing up, Luna tapped some other codes to the mirror.

The call was answered by an amazingly lovely pony with one perfectly centered cyclops like eye. “ERIS, Inc.!  How may I direct your call please, Princess Luna?”

“Hello, Cy.  I hate to interrupt whatever Eris is doing but I have urgent news for her. Just tell her that Wisdom has been found.  She will know what I mean.”  

“Wisdom has been found.  I will tell her.”

Almost instantly, the mirror switched to show Eris, wearing the silken robes of the Chineighese. An eye as trained as Daring Do’s saw that they were in the style of ancient X'ibia.

There was a copy of the Wisdom Eulogy to Im Farst hung to the wall and both incense and tea being offered before it on an ornate, low table of black wood, richly inlaid with natural woods of many colors.

Eris asked mildly, “Luna, if it was any but you calling, I would have required them to wait.  What do you mean that Wisdom has been found?”

Daring Do spoke up.  “A Shi is supposed to be silent and only indicate gender.  A Shi added to Discord, the dragonequis, makes Eris, that is you.  It also turns the ideogram into Wisdom, the name that you used when you lived your life with Im Farst, whom I see that you still love.”

There was a small tear at Eris’ eye.  “That is true, all of it.  What do I need to know beyond the fact that you found it out?”

“The law firm of R.O.T. is mounting an expedition to X'ibia to locate the Heart of Discord.  Of course, THAT really is legendary, the result of twisting the words of Aleax the Blind to say that you left a Vase, your heart, in his tomb. That is where the legends of the Heart of Discord come from.

“Even with the trickery that they use, they have begun to set up the expedition.  R.O.T. could find the tomb.”

Eris said softly, “Their care with Antiquities is amply shown by the break in at your office.  I see.  What do you need from me?”

Daring Do smiled and replied, “Two sorts of things.  One is your permission to open the tomb and conserve the things in it.  The other is a little more personal. Anything that you can think of that might mess up the R.O.T. expedition and throw them off the trail.”

Eris began to smile hugely around her fang.  “Doctor Do, I know your reputation in detail.  I will trust you to open my love’s tomb and conserve all as well as it can be done.  Expect my document of permission within the hour.  Cy will deliver it in person.

“As for your other request, let us say that I will consider it favorably.

“Now, I have much to attend to, including letting my love know that you are coming.”  The mirror blanked.

Luna’s bath duckies were all joined into a large squadron, attacking the bath bubble foam furiously!  She looked up with a serious face.  “While you were talking to Eris, I set it up with my sister, Celestia.  We are putting your Expedition under the Royal Wing.  

“You mentioned being able to manage the cost.  You will not have to.  We will cover it all with letters of credit and passage permissions that are being prepared now.  Celestia has summoned the Chineighese Ambassador to prepare your documents for free travel and official assistance.  All the papers should arrive in a few hours.  They are addressed to you at the Adventurer’s Guild.”

“Thank you, your Highness.” Daring Do blanked the mirror and emerged from the room.  The waiter from this morning was there, tears in his eyes.  “Our long Guardianship is over.  We have heard from the most exalted one. Wisdom herself has put us at your disposal.  What then shall we do for you?”

Daring Do gave him a deep formal bow and replied, “We will need you still.  There are more than Im Farst to guard.  If you will come with me, I will show you what I mean.”

Deepest concern in his voice, brows drawn in honest worry, he asked, “What will become of Im Farst and all of his things?”

Daring Do replied honestly, “I do not know.  I will gather him and all of those things and they will be given to the Most Exalted Wisdom.  She will then decide what may be kept for study, placed in museums on display and what she will keep for her own.   All will be a gift of my Princesses to Wisdom. This plan has been made and will be kept.”

He needed no thought.  “This is the best that can be hoped for.  He will be reunited with Wisdom. May they find all the joy that can be between Mortal and the Dragon.”

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[horancover]

NIALL’S SOLO CAREER TIMELINE

october 5, 2016 - niall answering fans questions on twitter

bonus:

Q: what’s one place in the world that you wanna visit?

A: as you know i've been in quite a few countries. something that appeals to me would be going back to africa. i think we had a good time on our trip with comic relief to get to ghana so i would like to do something like that again and explore the world that way.

Q: can you imagine a world without golf?

A: well there would be nothing else to watch on telly from my end so i wouldn’t be watching tv anymore. that would be tough and i wouldn’t really have what to do through my days off so that would be tough as well. so no, i can’t really.

Q: any advice for people who want to be singers?

A: first thing i would say is find your niche, find what you're good at. find the kind of music you like. find something that someone else is not doing. keep your head down and work hard and it will come.

Q: what do you miss the most about touring?

A:  probably just the whole travelling around, you know, on the bus and the planes and i like the travelling side of it. also i like having everyone around everyday. the immediate crew we travelled with, seeing the touring crew, seeing all the carpenters and lightening riggers and all that. i kinda miss that side of it. i miss being around people i love.

Q: what do you like the most about playing guitar?

A: probably that it's easy-accessible. it's just there beside me on the sofa whenever i want to pick it up as im watching tv. i also like the fact that you're always learning. i’ve become a lot better guitarist over the years just by playing the guitar every night onstage so that. i like the fact that you're always learning and it's cool.

Q: how long did it take you to write ‘this town’?

A: i think we wrote it in about two or three hours. we were stuck on the course for a little bit and bits and pieces and i think the chorus was “it's always been you” instead of “everything comes back to you” so it was a bit of a row over that, over what would be. but yeah, i think it took about two or three hours.

Q: who is your biggest musical inspiration?

A: my musical inspiration in terms of the album that i’m making is probably bob bylan or the lumineers. bob dylan in terms of his phrasing and the way he would phrase things and the lumineers kinda in the way that they write their songs and the way the songs put together, not so much the sound but the way they compose the song. i like it so i kinda touched on that a little bit.

Q: what is a perfect day for you?

A: wake up, go to the driving range, hit some balls, get some food then head into the studio and write a tune and then come home and probably watch more golf on tv.  

Q: do you like the album ‘currents’ by tame impala?

A: yeah. huge tame impala fan. had the chance to see them last year at lollapalooza when we were there on tour. unbelievable band. huge fan. basically yeah, i love their album.

Q: when did you write ‘this town’?

A: i wrote it with jamie scott probably in february/march this year. probably one of the first songs i wrote so not a bad one to start on.