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lov3nerdstuff · 4 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.27}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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"Never." His voice stayed surprisingly steady even as he moved up the two steps towards the bed and into the growing darkness. "But carefully setting you down should be alright, I presume, because otherwise we would be sitting on that sofa until morning. Again."

Robin nodded into his shoulder, unable to speak without making a fool of herself, and a moment later her back touched the surface of the bed, soft linen sheets grazing the naked skin on her legs so lightly her breathing hitched in return. But when Snape pulled back after putting her down, withdrawing from her grasp way too soon, she couldn't help but refuse to loosen her hold on him in return, refuse to let him leave her, and all it took was a little tug on his shoulders to make him lose his balance and fall forward. A tiny smirk found its way onto Robin's lips in an instant; He really should have seen that coming now, shouldn't he? He'd known Robin long enough to.

And yet a faint gasp escaped his lips as he barely caught himself on his forearms, framing her entire body and keeping her down as he couldn't help staring at her face with that look of startled awe now rawly showing in every of his features. He really hadn't seen it coming… but there was no denying that the surprise had been a pleasant one. A liquid lightning struck Robin's heart again, then roared through her in waves of racing heartbeats. It really was the way he looked at her that said all there was to be told, all focus and overwhelming intensity, and she didn't dare blinking to not lose a single second of what she hoped to be seeing for the rest of forever.

It was only when he started breathing again that her attention was drawn to all the little things that made up their current reality as well. His hair was falling down onto her like a black waterfall, tickling the sides of her face enough to draw another smile to her lips as she raised her hand in a vain attempt to brush it out of his face at least. She liked seeing his features way too much to leave them hidden. Then the way he was supporting his own weight on one knee between her legs, making her wish he wouldn't put so much space between them, but she also couldn't quite mind the way it made her yearn for him all the more. With her hand still caressing the side of his face, she pulled him down to her slowly enough to leave him a choice, but he seemed only too happy to submit to her silent lead, and her smile was claimed by his lips the briefest moment later.

There still was that space between them however, too much, too far, and his warmth drew her in like a moth to the flame in the cold now more than ever. Robin's back arched off the bed as her mind no longer reigned over her body, barely reaching up enough to feel his heartbeat in her chest, chasing her own to new heights and new depths at once. It drew a low moan from him that seemed as involuntary a response as hers had been, while the arm wrapping around her waist at the given opportunity was very much intentional. His hold on her tightened, her fingers dug deeper into his shoulder blades, and everything between space and time ceased to exist as it made way for matters beyond dimensions.

When Robin eventually managed to pry her eyes open, when they had to part to breathe and his arm next to her head started to quiver, she took notice of the darkness around them that had grown to extinct even the last of the fire's golden glow. How long had passed? Without dimensions, more was gained then that time was never lost.

"It must be terribly late…" She breathed, in careful observation of the brushes of silver moonlight that now fell through the window behind them and reflected in the depth of the onyx eyes gazing down at her. If at all, she had only ever known beauty as serene as this in paintings and distant dreams.

"Or terribly early, depending on the perspective." He replied in equal quietness, but with an easy amusement to his tone that had Robin smiling again in an instant. "Are you tired?"

"Very. You?"

"I'm afraid so. I can stay on the sofa, if you wish."

"No you can't." Robin protested in a huff and held onto him even more tightly to put emphasis on her point. "I won't let you as much as consider such an inane thing. Didn't you say once that you sleep better when I'm near you?"

"I did."

"And don't you enjoy being like this? Close to me?"

"I do."

"Then I don't see why you would have to be anywhere but right where you are. Stay here with me."

"I will." His lips quirked up for but a second, as he seemed to be thoroughly amused by her flawless and insistent line of argument. "But you surely can manage a mere five minutes without my presence, can't you? I would hate to sleep in my dress shirt and trousers."

Robin had to snort, then rolled her eyes exaggeratedly up at him in equal teasing sarcasm. "Fine. But I'm counting."

Her words brought a not-smirk to his lips, and she did let him pull back then indeed to go and change. While he moved down the steps and vanished in the bathroom two seconds later, Robin sat up on the bed and took a few deep breaths to realign with reality. Yet nothing changed, she was still sitting on Snape's bed on top of the covers, brushed in fading moonlight and unadulterated happiness. The smile on her lips broadened, purest brightness and comfort, into a grin she couldn't tone down even if she tried. For a moment she looked out the window, looking but not seeing really, until the sound of the door falling shut made her turn around. Now it was rather the opposite; no matter how long she stared through the darkness and observed his movements, all she could see were too few flashes of pale skin as he exchanged the dress shirt for a t-shirt and the trousers for flannels. The smirk was on her lips before her mind even properly thought out the reason for her amusement.

"Any particular reason why you would ogle me like that?" He inquired in feigned scorn, more a tease than a question, but it made Robin chuckle nonetheless.

"Hey, you ogled me plenty tonight. It's only fair, really, that I return the favour now."

"Fair enough."

"Nice choice of sleepwear, by the way. Oddly familiar." She smirked at him while he made his way back towards her at last. "I have always wondered what you wear at night when I'm not around."

"Have you, really?" He raised an eyebrow at her, but couldn't help his amusement as he leaned against one of the bed posts and looked down at her with a smirk. "I never had much left to imagine. But I must admit that I was quite irritated when I first discovered that we prefer the same type of pajamas."

"Is that why you looked so horrified back then?"

"No, I think that was rather due to the saucepan you attacked me with."

"Right…" Robin laughed, shaking her head to herself at the memory. It was both relieving and odd to be laughing now about what probably still was one of the darkest nights of her life. But that was in the past, and the present was now. With a soft sigh, she climbed under the covers at last and couldn't suppress the immediate chattering of her teeth that followed upon the sudden coldness of the fabrics. She laid down nonetheless, on the window side of the bed where she had woken up that one time weeks ago, turned towards the middle and curled into a ball to keep at least some warmth in her body. Snape however merely kept looking down at her with the most enigmatic expression, and she quirked an eyebrow up at him in return. "What?"

"I am dreaming, am I not? And in a moment I will wake up alone and cold like always, and everything will only have been a construct of my imagination and wishful thinking. Like always." He said in an easy yet remorseful sigh, and something about his words made Robin sadder than she could bear right now. In an instant she was in front of him again, up on her knees and with her arms wrapped around his shoulders as tightly as she could. With her entire weight she pulled him down onto the bed with her and he didn't protest, only wrapped his arms around her waist in return so that they lay in a tight embrace of racing hearts and tangled limbs.

"I'm not a dream, and neither are you." She mumbled into the crook of his neck where she kept her face buried in his t-shirt and hair. "I don't think it's possible for a dream to make me feel so passionately and intensely alive. Only you do that, the real you. That's how I know this is real… because dreams could never make me feel the things you do. Perhaps, in a way, you know what I mean."

"I do." He replied in a low drawn out breath, then his hold on her tightened to an almost painful degree for a short moment only. "You are real… as real as I am. You have to be."

"I am." She breathed, a small smile rising back to her lips along with an almost unbearable wave of affection. Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, the dark of night, or this deep down fear of his she also recognized in herself… but she couldn't help pulling back just enough to lay her head down on the pillow next to his and look at him with every last bit of emotion clearly written out on her face.

"I am real… As is my love for you." Her words were only a whisper, and yet they managed to fill the entire room with the striking intensity of all the universe's greatest answers at once. For a moment he only held her gaze in return, not speaking, not breathing, and Robin almost smiled at the thought that she had once again managed to leave the great Severus Snape entirely speechless. Had he really not known that, after everything that had been tonight and all the years before? Either way, she would say it as many times as it would take for him to believe her, and then as often as he would let her after that. "I love you, Severus. With all the intensity and passion you know me to be capable of."

"Why me? You could have anyone you want." He finally said in words of quiet wonder, words that now came freely from the deepest and most guarded corners of his being. "I do not deserve your passion, nor your love."

"You're the only one who does. The only one I ever wanted to give it to." She returned that kindest of smiles she always had reserved for him, as his words did only serve to make him all the more deserving of all there was for her to give. "It's entirely yours either way. And so am I."

"You are... so much more than anyone could ever deserve, and you deserve far more than I can give you in return." He stated in the most serious sincerity, in admiration but not a spark of doubt. "I know I am not good enough for you, Robin. But I promise to you that I will never stop trying to be."

Silent seconds trickled by, for now it was her who was rendered absolutely speechless, breathless to a haze, unable to do anything but watch the calm sincerity in his eyes light up and dance in relentless flames. He was absolutely serious about every word he said, every single thing he did. He must be, if he made a promise like this in the first place. And he had promised indeed. If this was the everything he was ready to give, it was bigger, better, brighter than any universe could ever be. If Robin was the answer yet unasked for, he was both universe and question. He was already giving her so much more than she thought she could ever have, and yet he was dead set on trying to be better. For her. A shiver ran all over Robin's body while her throat closed up with a lump, but she willed it all away with a rising smile of .

"I thought you don't make promises." She said the first words that came to her mind, and her heart soared when the corner of his lips quirked up in return.

"I do to you." He replied in deepest ease, and even though he did not say more than that, Robin could feel in the back of her mind just how much he loved her in return; how when he said he would never stop trying, he inevitably declared his utmost dedication. She knew, because he wanted her to know. As always, he was saying the most important things without saying a single word at all.

Smiling now to answer just the same, to let him know all there was to know, feel in much the same way he had let her feel, she finally curled up around him once again, and closed her eyes at last with her head resting on his shoulder. This was incredible. And yet this was terrifyingly, beautifully real. A soft sigh escaped her lips, a drawing of breath and life to start. "Who needs dreams when one can have a reality like this."

"Who needs reality when one can have you."

"Smooth, even for you." She chuckled softly, then hummed when he started drawing small circles on her back again. It lured her closer into sleep's warm haze within seconds, but perhaps it simply was the closeness, or him. Incredible, terrifyingly beautiful.

A humored huff, yet followed by gentle lips brushing against her forehead. "I try."

… … …

Robin woke up to too much light when her eyes fluttered open, too much brightness and a gloomy white. With a small frown, she squeezed them shut again. She was lying on her side to face the large window, undoubtedly the source of the dreaded brightness, but that really was the only thing she could possibly complain about. Everything else was pure warmth and calm and comfort, perfection in its essence if anyone had asked her, something even better if she was not asked to put it into words.

The main reason for that allconsuming happiness lay currently curled around her, snugly pressed against her entire backside as his slow breathing threatened to lure her straight back to sleep as well. A small smile tugged on her lips; he was impossibly warm, warmer than she had ever thought any human being could be, but yet he was, in all the best of ways that promised nothing but safety and comfort. She had never thought that waking up with someone you love would be quite this exquisite. His face was buried in her neck, soft breaths brushing against her heated skin just so that it tickled pleasantly. One of his legs was tugged between her own, and every time either of them moved no matter how little, the fabric of his flannels caressed her skin in a juxtaposition to the linen sheets below and above their bodies. Robin could've sworn they had fallen asleep on top of the covers last night, while now however the heavy fabrics were pulled up almost to her chin to keep out the morning-chilled dungeon air. Not that coldness even was a thing on her mind currently, her skin was positively searing wherever it came in contact with his. Most prominent was one of his hands that lay splayed out across her stomach where her shirt had ridden up, spanning almost all across and barely grazing her hip bones as he held her close. Robin's heart skipped a beat, and she smiled at the realization that he most likely would have moved his hand to safer territories if he had been awake enough to; still she hoped he wouldn't even then. This was incredible, the way he still held her so close even while in the depth of sleep. It made her feel incredibly loved, so much so that she couldn't even bring herself to tease him about it later, even if he surely would do just that if it had been the other way around. One thing was for certain though: she wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning yet to come.

When the allure of going back to sleep wouldn't cease even after a few minutes, she finally gave in and buried her head in the soft pillow beneath her for some more minutes of comfortable darkness and slumber. Screw what time it was, screw breakfast at seven thirty… if Snape could still sleep, so could she. They deserved this little time of peace to themselves before going back to a world that would never accept all there was between them. But Robin could in all honesty not care any less about what anyone else thought. This was precisely what she had wanted for years on end now. And it was absolutely bloody perfect.

… … …

A tickling on her face was what lifted sleep's haze for the second time, and caresses as light as a feather all over her back brought her closer to an actual waking state. Breathing deeply, she smiled at the familiar scent that long was the essence of home to her, then wrinkled her nose when the movement tickled even more on her skin. When her eyes opened at last, she found no brightness but the very opposite, strands of raven hair surrounding her face and inevitably explaining the tickling sensations. Her smile broadened, but she didn't say a thing and merely hid her face deeper in his chest while the patterns on her back continued, even as she shifted closer on instinct.

"I can tell that you are quite awake, you know…" He said in subtle amusement, and Robin heard his voice both as a rumbling echo in his chest and an almost soft sound filling the quiet room.

"Good morning to you too." She replied with a sarcastic smile to the grumble of her voice, then took another deep breath and finally pulled back just far enough to look up at him while stifling a yawn. "Calling me 'awake' is a bit exaggerated though, wouldn't you say?"

"And what do you suggest we do about that?"

"I just so happen to have an idea in mind." She returned his small smirk for a second only, then the kiss she had quite obviously prompted for was finally granted to her without further efforts. Just like the day before, it started oh so slowly but was inevitably destined to grow. Yes, this was most definitely addicting.

"Can we do this every morning?" Robin finally asked, a small but happy chuckle escaping her lips as she took deep breaths to calm down her heart and wake up her mind. Gods, kissing was a workout.

She was lying on her stomach now, propped up on her elbows on the pillow, and she once more had to admit that looking down at Snape had quite its appeal. Looking at him in general, really. The way his cheeks were surprisingly flushed, hair splayed out all around him like a black halo, quirking an eyebrow up at her like always… it was a sight to behold. A sight she wanted to see every morning indeed.

"As tempted as I am to say yes, you know as well as I do that it would be too dangerous. Even more so than the late nights we have fallen into over the past few weeks." He sighed in return, almost a little remorseful and clearly not content with his answer either.

"Dumbledore only said to keep it behind closed doors, and honestly I don't know a single door in this castle that has more wards to keep it closed than yours." Robin protested mildly, but of course she understood his point. Knew it perfectly well even. They were in a difficult place at the moment, and even if Dumbledore turned a blind eye to them, other people would certainly not be so gracious. She sighed in defeat. "However, I unfortunately agree. We shouldn't do this every morning, not yet at least. Perhaps some day when we won't have to worry about other people anymore… perhaps then we can do this every morning."

"Obviously. For as long as you will bear with me." His reply had that ease to it again that made Robin smile, her skin tingle and her heart skip a beat. She could bear half a year of difficulty for all the time to come together after that. Obviously he could, too.

"And until then? What shall I do about all those sleepless nights, all those cold mornings that would be better spent with you?" She asked with a small smirk, teasing more than asking, for she knew that they would never be able to truly refrain from repeating last night's events anyway. Not entirely, at least. Not when both of them had gotten the first good night's sleep in eternities last night.

"I believe you have recently discovered the perfect way to bribe me." He finally couldn't keep the small smirk off his lips, nor his hand from reaching out to play with a stray curl of hers. "You can always make an effort to convince me to let you stay after a long night in the lab or the office."

"I have a vague idea that bribing you shouldn't be too hard these days."

"We will see about that. Humour me by trying though, yes?"

"I will."

"I know."

… … …

It was ten minutes after lunch had started when Robin finally entered the great hall, positively out of breath for entirely different reasons for once. After Snape and her had realized just what time it was a little less than ten minutes ago, they begrudgingly had gotten out of bed and more or less ready to face the world. She had used every hidden passageway and every shadowy corner upon that to get back to her dorm unseen, before anyone would catch her still wearing her ball gown. They hadn't really thought about that last night… there had been more important matters after all.

To her luck, the dorms were practically deserted during lunchtime, and thus she could sneak all the way into her room in no time and finally change into some ordinary jeans and a jumper. Hair thrown back into a messy bun and secured with her wand, she was ready to head back out eight minutes past lunchtime. Fuck… at least they wouldn't be arriving at the same time if she was running late. Later than him, at least.

And indeed, when Robin hurried along the aisle in the great hall towards where her friends were seated at the Slytherin table today, Snape was already in his usual spot at the head table and raising an eyebrow at her in feigned reproach, probably for being late. She almost would've laughed out loud; as if he wasn't the very reason for that! Insufferable idiot…

"Hey guys." Robin sighed when she finally dropped down on the bench, perched now between Jorien and Gideon. "Sorry I'm late, I got caught up in something and forgot the time… You know me."

"Aye, the woman in black shows up at last!" Gideon nudged her in the side with a smirk. "We thought you'd perhaps gotten lost somewhere."

"I did, in my own head as always." She shrugged in feigned ease, then eyed the others on the other side of the table. They all looked well rested, happy and not too bothered by her previous absence. Good.

"If anyone's working on new year's day, it would have to be Robin." Michael shook his head with a snort. "You're a real workaholic, you know?"

Robin just smiled and shrugged again. They weren't wrong, really, and there was no need to rectify something that wasn't even untrue. If things hadn't turned out like they had, she probably would have spent the morning with work indeed. Her easy answers and nonchalant behavior seemed to suffice as a distraction though, and half a minute later everyone was as engrossed in a conversation about their plans for the afternoon as they were in their meals.

"The boys asked about your whereabouts during breakfast, you know… After they noticed that Snape wasn't there either." Jorien commented quietly, turning to Robin so that nobody would overhear, but the rest of the group was far too caught up in their own conversations to listen to the two girls anyway. "I made a point of enumerating every student and professor I know who wasn't present, to prove a point. That made them shrug it off, but you really should consider going to breakfast next time. One of you, at least."

"I hadn't realized that anyone might draw a connection between that… We've both been absent so often for entirely different reasons than this one now." Robin replied in sincere surprise about why people would start to notice that of all things, now of all times. She'd given up trying to keep things from Jorien, seeing as it wouldn't work anyway, but that was about as public as her whereabouts of this morning ought to become. "Thank you for keeping them off my heels though. I very much appreciate it."

"Of course I'm having your back! You've had ours for four years now, and you did save my life, I won't forget that either." The girl gave Robin a pointed look, then started smirking and lowered her voice even more. "So tell me, how was it?"

"How was what?" Robin's brows furrowed, and she took a bite of her vegetables even though she really shouldn't have.

"You know… The only 'it' I won't name in public." Jorien raised her eyebrows at Robin, an image of innocence and mischief alike, and Robin started coughing desperately when her meal hit the wrong pipe.

"You-... I, no, I mean-, we didn't…" She was torn between turning beet red, coughing and frowning deeply at the girl in front of her, until she could finally breathe again and put two and two together. This wasn't a Jorien question… not really. "You just wanted to get me all flustered in public, didn't you?"

"I must say it worked quite wonderfully."

"You-…" Robin's jaw dropped, but then she just had to smile and shake her head to herself nonetheless. The girl was playing with fire, but she couldn't even blame her for it. "You might know my one weakness now, but don't doubt for a second that I too know a fair amount of yours. I've been playing this game for far longer than you, Jorien."

"I know. But you've taught me well."

"Too well, it seems."

"Hey, who will do your job as swot number one around here when you're gone in half a year, huh?" She laughed, quirking an eyebrow at Robin in both humour and honesty. "I need to practice with the number one expert!"

"You'll do the job every honour, that's for sure." Robin sighed with a smile, and a small part of her thought it sad that she had a mere half year of school left. Then again, there was so much to look forward to afterwards. Either way, it was time for a change of topic. "So, when does your work with McGonagall start?"

"Once term resumes."

"Lucky you. Getting on the deputy headmistress' good side will certainly open some doors for you."

"It's not about that for me."

"I know. It never was for me either." Robin's smile broadened, as she thought back to her first days of assisting Snape. "You'll do great if you do you. She will be proud of you, don't worry."

"Who will do what with whom, when and why?" Cas suddenly barged into the conversation, and in return everyone else started to listen again as well. Oh well… at least they hadn't overheard the start of it, only the end.

"You'll finish your lunch now instead of talking poor Simon's ear off, because I'll strangle you in his place if you don't." Robin was quick to reply with a not-smirk directed at Cas, then continued on with her own lunch as well.

"I don't mind, actually. I love to listen." Simon shrugged, giving both girls a small smile that made Cas grin and Robin roll her eyes.

"Yeah, sure, stab me in the back, why not…" Robin sighed in feigned disappointment and indifferent sarcasm, then gave Simon an equally exaggerated glare. "I won't try to save you again, pal."

"I don't think he needs any saving." Gideon grinned, looking first at Simon and then at Cas while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, never underestimate the lengths to which a man in love would go." Michael added with a chuckle, then a smirk. "Even if it's listening to Cas."

"Hey!" Cas complained in an instant, but when everyone else couldn't help laughing, she finally gave in and simply laughed along with them. After all, it really was a happy new year. Yet.

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stressed-crow · 3 years

Text

i didnt exactly get tagged, but @lieberts said the “whoever wants to do it” thing (like 4 moths ago but i just found it in my likes) so here i goooo

also i tag @krchov @cowardlylearningtobebrave @feathereddamsel @gruntie and @luwucifer-s but like, only very vaguely. feel free not to~

1. MUSIC TAG MEME

Rules: Post your first twenty songs in a playlist on shuffle

Mama (My Chemical Romance)

Stigma (BTS)

Man Who Sold The World (Nirvana)

End of Spring (ONEWE)

Love Maze (BTS)

I’m so afraid (Holland)

Dear my friend (agustd)

O-O-H Child (The Five Stairsteps)

Go Go (BTS)

Time is Running out (The Muse)

Movement (Hozier)

Les Passants (Zaz)

The Witching Hour (ODJBOX)

Feelings (Hayley Kiyoko)

0X1=LOVESONG (txt)

YAYAYA (Stray Kids)

Empire (Of Mice and Men)

Problems (Mother Mother)

Question (Stray Kids)

Kill Your Heroes (AWOLNATION)

(i do not take any criticism on my music taste, least of all a costructive one)

2. Rules: MAKE A NEW POST, bold what applies to you and tag whoever you want to get to know better.

APPEARANCE

I’m an I-need-to-pull-the-driver-seat-all-the-way-in kind of a person // i wear glasses or contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how I look // I prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backward

HOBBIES & TALENTS

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own (if it was like... chill wildreness. i mean i can get a fire going and shit like that i cant fistfight a bear or whatever) // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIPS

i am in a relationship // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETIC

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colors // i find mystery in the ocean (i dont like it tho the sea scares me) // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISC

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least one dog // i have a cat ---------

3. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (1)

4. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (2)

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without socks // fruit or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest (i dont do either) // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields // sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweaters // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos (new!! both!!) // summer or winter (both suck) // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon (am european) // strawberries or watermelon (im using this opportunity to pick the other one yes) // essays or posters // phones or laptops // glass or stone // dark or light // photos or paintings // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats // poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

5. Post one picture from my camera roll (no new downloads) to sum up my personality! u get two bcs they are v good

6. 30 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag others

Name/Nickname: lucy

Gender: female

Star Sign: leo

Height: 170 cm

Time: 22:04

Birthday: july 1 IS WHAT I WROTE INITIALLY bcs i cant fucking read and thought it just said “date” lol anyway its 11th of August

Favorite Bands: bts, stray kids :)

Favorite Solo Artists: sunmi, taemin :) and hozier i cant betray him

Song stuck in my head: la la la la vie en rose

Last Movie: def some horror movie but i forget which lol

Last Show: probably the untamed lmaooo did not even finnish it

When did I create this blog: december 2013 apparently

What do I post: kpop babey

Last thing googled: i gotta fact check lots of shit for work so probs smting sports related (but make no mistake i dont know a single thing abt sports)

Other blogs: what for i dump everything here

Do I get asks: no

Why I chose my url: self-explanatory

Following: 100

Followers: ???

Average hours of sleep: about 8 hours

Instruments: none

What am I wearing: pink pajama shorts with kitties, black shirt torn beyond decent wearability and this dark green... jacket,,, hoodie...thing.

Dream job: village witch

Dream trip: me @ japan:

(i was supposed to go study there starting winter 2020 :) im abt to lose my fucking mind :) so yeah you get a dead meme for this) also new zealand, iceland, and going back to sweden sometime

Favorite food: pizza bithc its versatile, also cereal coz im a child

Nationality: czech (rip)

Favorite song: black swan (bts), levanter (skz), take me to church (hozier), noir (sunmi) (those are from the top of my head current favs theres way more but here u go)

Last book read: MIMOZEMŠŤANÉ V ČECHÁCH (= aliens in czechia) by idk, some married couple thats probs wanted whatever xfiles had but low budget, its pure nonsense, best read of this year, dont regret a single second

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: magnus archives bich i dont give a fuck; middle earth to blaze it with hobbits; i wanna be one of those lil shaky-head-tree-things in mononokehime

#personal #yeet yoot #tag game

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bearwithegg · 4 years

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EVERYTHING ABOUT US || Joel Miller x OC || Part 1

I had this idea for a hot minute and thought I'd share this with y'all 🥺 this is a SUPER SUPER fckn slow burn so y'all have been warned 👀👀👀

Lots of words! Gore and language!

PART 2

THEY weren’t sure what they had expected, the last thing they did expect was for her to run the way she did. A woman covered head to toe with blood, as if a bucket full of it had been dumped over her in some sick practical joke — she had her arms raised ready to give them what they wanted in an instantly recognisable sign of surrender, but at the last second she bolted. They had almost mistaken her for infected, the skin that wasn’t covered with viscus blood was stained red, her hair was no doubt already a darker colour but no one could tell with the amount of blood soaked through it.

As nimble as she may be, avoiding the gunshots, they would track her down eventually. She had scuttled away, like a wounded animal trying to avoid the inevitable cycle of life that would catch up to her.

Gunshots drew unwanted attention through the abandoned town, attracting a variety of infected like a moth to a flame. As intelligent as hunters may be, they didn’t think this one through once they had been swarmed by a horde of runners and the odd clicker.

It appeared that the cycle wouldn’t catch up to the woman as quickly as they anticipated, by them, anyway. No doubt she would make a tasty treat to the numerous infected lurking around the town — that is if other hunters hadn’t got to her first. That likelihood dwindled as she slowed her pace down, now hearing the shouts and rounds of fire through just a mere echo.

Fucking idiots.

The thought crossed through her mind, reminding herself why she had long abandoned firearms many years ago. It drew too much attention by both parties, those parties being Infected and Hunters of course. Both terrifying and formidable enemies in the current state of the world, but nothing was more terrifying than coming up against groups of people .

At least Cordyceps had the decency to regress a person down to their most primal instinctual need to kill, scavenge and survive. People did what they did, because they were bored or they just wanted fun and the world they lived in provided those sick individuals opportunistically.

This wasn’t going to be her final fight, throwing down with a bunch of Hunters while they pulled her apart for supplies, fun or meat. A person alone was terrifying, but nothing compared to a person who had nothing left to lose but one bittersweet and potentially fatal final wish.

“Oh, fuck me.” She hissed, ducking low behind the cover of a dumpster upon catching sight of more Hunters scrounging through the abandoned town. The location had been optimal for her, it wasn’t too far away from her own residence and had more than enough supplies for her to scour through. Of course, situations change.

Vastly outnumbered on both accounts, the pressure increased on her to find a way out by doing the least amount of work. Exhaustion had already set its course through her after a tiring altercation with several runners and a clicker, the last thing she needed was to misstep and be gunned down by a group of Hunters for the sake of it.

Five hunters… Three eastbound by the post office… Two preoccupied with a horde…

She drew a heavy breath, knowing her perpetually insulting luck there were bound to be more around the wooded area in the treetops. It wasn’t her first run in with snipers, and it would be an incredibly stupid oversight to not at least anticipate the possibility of them. Cornered in a dingy alleyway behind a dumpster, she needed to think fast, hard and smart about her next movements or she might as well die right here on the spot.

Backdoor access through the bakery and out onto the main strip would leave me vulnerable if deadshots saw me… rooftop would give me an advantage on grounders…

The window of opportunity was getting slimmer by the second, weighing out all potential options took time and time was of the essence. She was patient. Her family had always been patient. Rushing things made larger room for mistake and mistakes led to an untimely death, something she considered not too long ago but wouldn’t let it happen. Not here .

Reaching over her shoulder, she drew her crossbow, quickly and carefully counting her dwindling number of bolts left. Six . They weren’t all that difficult to make, no — but supplies had been thin for her and as if timing hadn’t been anymore… Taunting… Her trusted carpenters knife had long exceeded its lifespan after numerous skulls it cut through and crossbow bolts whittled.

It was now a matter of a simple waiting game, she had boxed herself into this corner and by god if she wasn’t going to make the best out of a shit time. The distant gunfire had since ceased, now the atmosphere merely filled with ambience and the occasional humane shout.

Today had been a shit show for everyone it seemed, not just for her - who was always prepared for the worst - but also for the Hunters, who didn’t anticipate one woman causing them so much trouble.

Regardless how grim it was panning out, she kept her eyes on all her openings as she crept forward in the alley, edging out just before hitting the street. Her head very cautiously poked around the corner, catching a glance at a target as they stopped in front of the bakery. Hand cupped to the window to get a better look at what contents remained behind closed doors.

She took her opening, raising the crossbow like it was muscle memory and firing off a bolt. The sound of it piercing through his skull still made her grimace, no matter how many times she heard it beforehand, the inherent action of killing someone in self defence or not was enough to add yet another internal weight on her already heavy shoulders.

As swift as the death was, she was even quicker crouching by the newly made corpse and retrieved her bolt. The over hanging rooftop of the bakery provided her enough cover if there were anyone in the trees close by, but what lie ahead was a naked street that screamed ‘risky’. It was a gamble, but not one she was willing to bet her life on.

That was until she heard more gunfire.

Her ears piqued at the sound, instead of the rain of bullets being followed up by the sound of the infected and inevitable blood curdling screams of their victims. These gunshots had been echoed by more, which meant she wasn’t the only person in town they were after.

East… They’re firing east of town… That should clear up the western area.

One glance up at the sky, noting the position of the now rapidly setting sun and a momentary pause in thought was enough for her to get her bearings. The least ideal situation would be if she were stuck here, at night time and twice — now three times the threat.

There had been no indication of heavy set bullets being fired which meant her initial concern of snipers was completely futile, providing ill comfort for the dire situation. Just because one threat was out of the way didn’t mean she would get careless as she attentively crossed through town, keeping to the store fronts and near cover at any turn.

Nearing what was presumably a bar before the outbreak, footsteps were heavy across what sounded like old wooden floorboards. She peered in, seeing yet another target searching through the already empty ruins of the bar, much like the one beforehand, she dealt with him quickly.

His body landed with a decent thud onto an old table which looked as if it would break after years of wood rot and negligence. Unsurprisingly, the sheer weight crippled the furniture and with it, a rather loud noise. No doubt attracting nearby infected if they weren’t already at the gun show across town.

Not willing to die over one crossbow bolt, she continues her journey through town as the sun had now begun disappearing behind the surrounding tree line. If she didn’t get the fuck out of dodge soon, she’d be giving herself a one way ticket to an early death.

Keep calm… deep breaths…

She reminded herself, pushing back the overwhelming sense of anxiety that filled her. Stay calm, stay patient. Those two things alone are what got her this far into the end of the world, she’d be lying if she said that it didn’t at least provide comfort and some semblance of attachment to her family.

Pressing forward was a must, she was losing light and fast. Ideally she’d be out of town by dark but then again… patience was also a must. If she had to stay in the town then so be it, regardless if she wanted to do so or not, which seemed to be the most likely outcome as she crosses an open street with care.

It was hard to imagine what the street was like prior to the outbreak, of course there were some leftover remnants of what was, but it was still hard to think about life prior to the outbreak. She barely had any memories of living in normalcy, not being able to comprehend a life that was any different than patience, travel, adaptation and survive.

With yet another wary glance up at the sky, she made the executive decision to hole herself up in what appeared to have been a laundromat. Coming across these had been commonplace when travelling across the country as much as she had — that and it was the only building in town that had fortification, even if the wear and tear of the boarded windows indicated it’s been up since early in the Outbreak.

It wasn’t much, but it was better than waiting out the night in the middle of the street, there was one entrance and exit and she had no desire to rest until she was home safe.

‘home’

Sure, as much as a vacant house isolated in the forest could be home. No, home for her was not here.

She loaded a bolt into her weapon, placing it right beside her as she retrieved a small amount of food from her bag. Her eyes never flickered away from the entrance, similarly to how her ears never stop listening to the sounds outside of the building.

No more gunshots… lets hope they all killed each other .

A grimly optimistic thought, the less people alive the better for her considering she didn’t want to deal with it. As far as food went, whatever she cooked last tasted like shit yet didn’t deter the aggressively grumbling stomach from taking it and using it as essential sustenance.

Oh how she missed the finer things, what she’d do to kill for at least one can of soup. Minestrone to be more precise. Every grocery store, convenience store, abandoned market turned up nothing while she scoured each place top to bottom for one fucking can of Minestrone soup. Nada. Every. Single. Time.

A grimace pulled at her face, the incredibly chewy meat tasted bland and by the time she had bitten through down to the bone it was more fat than actual protein. She pondered on the way her food tasted like shit when a loud bang kick-started her adrenaline once again.

She crouched low behind the cover of a dilapidated washing machine, crossbow in hand as two sets of footsteps entered, followed by pained grunts that remained on the opposite side of the room.

“Think any more of them sons-of-bitches will come?”

It was a male voice, gruff sounding and exasperated. She could gather two things; he was injured and on the older side of life.

“Not likely… said they was after a woman, might be out lookin’ for her.”

Another male voice, younger sounding — both had accents, then again to her everyone had accents and she wasn’t keeping track. She had bigger problems at hand than to worry about accents and a complete comprehensive guide to what people sounded like from whatever part of this Country they resided in.

“Here’s hopin’ she don’t get caught then.”

With that she rose from her cover, crossbow raised. At least she was confident these two must have been the source of the secondary set of gunfire she heard not too long ago. Her sudden presence startled the two men, the non-injured and visibly younger of the two drew his pistol.

No words were said, but tension was high. She had an up on the two men, knowing that it was dark and more quiet than usual it wouldn’t be beneficial to either party if a loud gunshot alerted infected. Maybe if the other hadn’t been injured, it might’ve been different.

She wasn’t one for talking, not to people she didn’t know anyway— so that ruled out every person she had encountered in this apocalyptic hellscape. Despite this, she felt her intentions were conveyed clear enough through the stand off between her and the man before her.

“‘lright, you’re not gonna hurt us.” He was the first to break away, her intentions had been heard loud and clear even without the presence of words. He held his hands up, placing his pistol on top of a washing machine but never breaking eye contact with her. A remarkably unusual move on his behalf, that was made known by his injured companion.

“Tommy what the fuck are you doin’?” he hissed, clearly unnerved by his choice to drop his arms in the presence of a complete stranger who they’d never seen before.

Even though she was certain that the two men were much like her, seeking refuge for the night, she just couldn’t be too sure. She backed up until she was flush up against a machine and sat on top of it, weapon still raised, her eyes watching the too men like a hawk — more so now that she got a better look at the injured companion.

She was surprised at just how old he was, long grey hair and a beard adorning his face, he must at least be in his sixties… seventies maybe… poor old bastard…

“She ain’t gonna hurt us, Eugene…Reckon she’s just glad we ain’t hunters.” Tommy reassured, kneeling down to tend to the older man's leg wounds. He was indeed correct, she was most definitely grateful that they weren’t hunters but that didn’t mean she trusted them wholeheartedly.

Quinn didn’t trust anybody.

#joel miller #the last of us #imagine #joel x oc #the last of us imagine #original character #joel x reader #fanfiction

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kmalexander · 4 years

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2020 in Ten Significant Photos

Today is December 19th, also known as March 294th, around our house. 2020, man. 2020. I think we can all agree it’s been a terrible year. If not personally, then nationally and globally. And we still have twelve days left. Feels like it’s been forever and yet, somehow, no time at all.

The tradition around here dictates I need to assemble a post wherein I share ten photos from the year representing the most significant moments of my personal past 365-ish days. Normally, I look forward to this, but 2020 was tougher than most. This time around, I wasn’t so eager to ponder how the year went. I didn’t want to dwell on the events that have unfolded. But I did. And below is the culmination of that effort, for better or worse.

The rules are simple but firm, pick ten photos from your past year that are the most significant to you: positive or negative—significance can be found in either. But it can’t be more, it can’t be less. Some moments will have to fall by the wayside—and that’s intentional—culling is essential. It’ll help create a more realistic picture of your year. Some years will be harder than others, and sometimes you’ll need to discover significance in the smaller, quieter moments. The ten are irascible, and they’re relentless. It is the way.

So, enough talk! Let’s take a look at my 2020 distilled into ten significant photos.

The Multnomah Whiskey Library in Portland

We began our 2020 by going on a trip to celebrate Kari-Lise’s birthday. Ah, those carefree halcyon days. Feels like a lifetime ago. This time we took an extensive food-focused trip to Portland and Hood River, Oregon. It was easily one of the best trips we’ve taken together and a wonderful way to celebrate Kari-Lise’s birthday. We ate and drank and tasted so many incredible things. I had planned to put together one of my standard travel posts a few months after we returned, but 2020 had other plans. It’s odd to looking back. It feels like a different era.

Amberlynn being cozy. (Photo by my brother, Nick Alexander.)

Not long after our return from Portland, my brother Nick and my sister-in-law Hallie welcomed their second child, Amberlynn, into the world in February. With Liesel and Blakely arriving last year and Amberlynn this year, I now have three nieces that have all shown up in a very short time. Can’t wait to watch them grow up and spoil them rotten. I’ve yet to meet Amberlynn. (Details why in the next photo. You can probably guess.) But, I’m looking forward to the day I do.

Pandemic hair. Pandemic mask. Pandemic isolation.

So, the obvious one—the COVID-19 pandemic. I could wax poetic about everything that’s happened in the last ten months, but we’ve all been dealing with this. What can I say that hasn’t been said already by a thousand other folks? I am tired of staying at home. I miss my family and friends. At the same time, I know it’s the right thing to do, and I’m blessed that I have a job that allows me to do it. Please do what you can to stay safe and healthy. Be kind. Wear a mask. Social distance. Avoid groups. Get your vaccine when you can. All that stuff.

Not where you want to find yourself at 3AM

2020 was the gift that keeps on giving. Early in the pandemic Tyrant, one of our two old dogs (he’s fifteen!) started having breathing issues one Saturday morning, and we had to take him to an emergency vet. That turned into early morning calls and early morning trips to the pharmacy. The same weekend our other old dog, Suge (she’s fourteen!), had a cyst that burst on her back leg, so she ended up in the doggie hospital for minor surgery. Two dogs. Two hospitals. Many vets. All in the middle of a pandemic. It was an exhaustive and stress-filled four days. Thankfully, both dogs are doing well. Suge is back to her rambunctious self. Tyrant is still sleepy and lazy and gets to take doggy pills three times a day.

Welcome to the CHAZ

Black Lives Matter. I don’t know why that’s a difficult concept for some people to grasp. This summer was similar to summers in other parts of the country. Protests. Marches. Police action. Bits of violence. For a brief moment, Seattle had the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone and offshoot of the protests, which drew most of the country’s attention. The outgoing President might have declared Seattle an “Anarchist Jurisdiction” (whatever that means,) but the tales of chaos were greatly exaggerated and largely overblown. Ignore your weird uncle on Facebook. The CHAZ only lasted for a few weeks. Demonstrations there have largely faded away. But the BLM movement rightfully continues, and I don’t think it’ll stop until we see systematic change.

Kari-Lise in front of the titular Night Garden

Kari-Lise revealed Night Garden, her latest solo show at Roq La Rue, and it was wildly successful! It’s strange to have a gallery show in the middle of a pandemic. There was no official opening. No opening night crowds. No afterparty. But the show premiered online and ended up selling out. I feel like I broken record repeating the same thing I do every show, but I think this series was her best work ever. I’m incredibly proud to see how she continues to evolve as an artist. Can’t wait to see what she does next.

Pork chop sandwiches! (Technically pork butt, but references.)

So, I’ve always liked cooking, and this year was no different. If anything, this year I cooked even more, since I had more time at home. I feel like I dialed in my meat-smoking game and got a little better at baking (like everyone else, but I’m still not great.) This little BBQ sandwich was 100% made from scratch. Smoke pork butt. Steamed/Fried sourdough half-way buns. Homemade dill pickles. Homemade pickled onions. Stone ground mustard. Yes, it was delicious. Yes, I made it more than once.

Sunset on the Colvos Passage

In October, we briefly escaped one house to retreat to another. We rented an incredible cabin on Vashon Island, only a ferry ride away from Seattle. We spent a week on the island. We hiked, explored, cooked, relaxed, read a ton, soaked in a huge bathtub, took showers in an outdoor shower. I also took the time to revamp this website. And we were able to do it with proper social distancing! It was a chill and relaxing week away from the world and unplugged from a stressful news cycle. We loved it so much we are planning a return visit in January. So don’t be shocked if a similar photo appears in next year’s list.

I voted! You voted! A lot of us voted!

One of the wildest and most important elections in my lifetime happened, and what an election it was. Records were smashed. Norms were abandoned. Lawsuits were filed and quickly tossed out when no evidence could be presented except for wishes, hopes, and dreams. (Turns out wanting something to be true won’t make it true.) It was great to see so many Americans actively involved in the civic process. King County, Washington (where I live) had an 85% turnout, which I never thought I’d see in my lifetime. It made me really proud of my city, county, state, and country. Nice work, America. Let’s keep this trend of civic involvement going.

New floors and a fantastic built in room divider bookcase built by my pal Steve.

It’s hard to encapsulate this in a single image. Like much of the world, 2020 became the “Year of the House” for the Alexanders. This had been the plan for us before the pandemic set in, and we had been saving toward it for a while. We bought this place in 2010, which means we’ve been living in our house for a decade, and it was past time to put a little love back into the place. That means, among other things, new paint, new roof, new floors in several rooms, lots of love pour into the garden, new countertops, that fantastic bookcase in the picture above, and we’re in the middle of a bathroom remodel. It’s been awkward, stressful, and a bit odd at times juggling all this work with the pandemic, but we think it’ll be worth it.

In Conclusion

Looking back at everything that happened in 2020, I was surprised to find how much significance happened even while I spent most of my time here at home. The ten photos above don’t begin to cover everything that happened. My sister-in-law’s father, Tom, passed away, a dear man, and we could only send condolences from afar. Friends and family got sick, and not just from COVID. Pets passed away. People lost jobs. There were the forest fires and the awful weeks of smoke that blanketed much of the PNW. MURDER HORNETS.

But it wasn’t all awful events. New hobbies were found. New skills explored. Moth & Myth continued its wild growth and is leaping into a new phase of business. Friends published books. Friends made art. Friends had shows. Friends wrote new books and game systems. We all learned how to video conference (for better or worse.) There was good to be found even among the muck. I’m not going to miss 2020. It might have been an awful year, but it’s probably been one of the most notable years of my life.

So, how about you? What did you experience in 2020? What are your ten? Assemble them and leave a comment with a link! Let us all know about the significant events in your year.

Want to revisit my photos of past years? The experiences then seem almost charming now. Just click on any of the links below and check out my pictures from that specific year. I find it fascinating to watch subtle changes year over year.

2014 • 2015 • 2016 • 2017 • 2018 • 2019

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