#i also totally am not excited over getting to see him be physically there after new war i totally do not love this floating tiny robot

[systelon]

「 big nap 」

[elsecrytt]

so things have been better at work lately.

after satoru gojo spends several hours on his knees, tears in his eyes, begging you to slap him in the face a second time, you're feeling confident that you're not going to lose your job.

you're also feeling better after your rent situation. satoru had finally convinced you to slap him again with a big, fat, thousand dollar bonus added on for each instance of physical contact.

you're kind of proud of how you pulled that one off.

"a hundred dollars? am i a joke to you?"

"what do you mean, five hundred per slap? i told you, my rent went up!"

"i still have other bills, satoru. what do you think groceries cost these days? how much is a banana, satoru? how much?"

considering all he ate was takeout and he never kept receipts or even listened to totals, it wasn't that difficult.

on the other hand, it was kind of messed up how drastically your life has changed now that you slapped your boss.

right now, you're cooking another lovingly homemade breakfast meal. french toast, glazed bacon, some picture-perfect omurice (it was pretty fun, trying to get it perfect)!

you enjoy cooking again. it looks so much more tasty knowing you're going to get a bite of it for yourself.

satoru sits, bright and eager, at the beautiful marble table you've laid so many (untouched) meals down on.

you relish how the excitement melts off his face when you set a bowl of cereal in front of him. sitting across to help yourself to your own meal which you cooked.

"hey!" he's quick to protest, of course, but shrivels under the weight of your glare.

"oh, don't be shy, satoru," you say evenly, "i know you don't like my cooking."

there's an awkward silence that follows. oh, sweet vindication.

almost as sweet as finally getting to eat your own cooking. god. you're mad at him all over again. this was awesome.

all those meals you worked so hard on... all that perfectly good food that went straight into the trash out of pure spite... oh, the joy that floods your chest as he looks at you like a kicked puppy.

"please?" he whines, "c'mon, i know i was a jerk! i promise i'll eat it this time!"

"will you?" your eyes narrow as you stand up, watching him tense as his eyes lock onto you.

good.

"on the floor," you say, pointing down. "lay down."

it's telling how quickly he moves to obey. god, you spent so much time catering to this little shit when you should have been telling him what to do.

you kick him in the side, and satoru yelps as your foot lifts up his side. still, he rolls over obediently, grumbling.

"you're so mean," he whines as you press down on his back.

that sends a little trickle of delight through you.

you're mean now, are you?

with him laying on his belly, you grab your half-finished omurice from the table, sitting yourself down on his ass.

and his ass looks a lot better in the jeans than it feels - satoru's a lean guy. but you make it work, straddling him, just enough that you could grind your crotch down against him... if you wanted to.

he groans at it, too, confirming just how hard he is.

you set the plate in front of his face.

"okay, satoru. you want some?" you grab him by the hair, pulling his head up, just on top of the plate, "eat."

another little bitch-moan comes out of his mouth, no doubt a complaint.

you shove his face forward, "i don't want to hear it. eat what's in front of you and be grateful for it."

his hips shift underneath you - the whore is grinding against the floor!

but you see his mouth moving, eating like you told him to.

after a few bites you pull him up, giving him time to swallow before you ask.

"well? how is it?" you can't keep the bitterness out of your voice, "does it belong in the trash?"

there's a warning tone, a frustration that sounds almost like motherly scolding.

it makes satoru about ten times harder.

"no," he simpers, leaning back forwards to take another bite.

like a dog on the leash, you stop him, hand in his hair.

"what do we say?"

satoru bites his lip. his cheeks are hot, flushed. "thank you for the meal~"

you let him back with a huff.

and try as you might to suppress it, there's something that heats your blood, too. something burning inside you at the sight of him eating like a dog, licking the plate clean.

devouring the meal you made for him like he can't get enough.

you tell yourself it's just satisfaction. seeing food not go to waste.

you distinctly ignore the pulse between your legs -

but it gets harder to, when satoru finally finishes his meal, spinning around underneath you.

he makes no attempt to push you off - instead, he pulls you against him closer, so you're straddling his hips.

grinding against his crotch. friction hot and delicious and pulling at something deep inside you.

crystal blue eyes looking up at you, all pretty and pleading.

pawing hands clasping over your thighs.

"please, madam housekeeper," he licks his lips, "may i have some more?"

...

...you're not about to fuck your boss... are you?

[plutoenjoyer]

soft gaon thoughts 💭

· get ready to handle the silliest goofiest bf ever

· i feel like you guys know alllll of each other's references and jokes. same sense of humor, too

· he'll text you some shit like

· "Shrimp🦐🦐🦐!!!" at 2 am

· you just reply "real"

· "☺️"

· i feel like you're both strange. but i love that for you

· MUSIC. this guy is always humming a tune or making up a little song about something super mundane...

· "im washing the dishes 😎 im washing the dishes yeah uh huh😎" (i imagine he's doing a little dance to go along with it, like a dork)

· "... jiseok what are you doing."

· you know exactly what he's doing. it has become background noise at this point

· it depends on how he's feeling but sometimes if you catch him doing something really silly he just goes completely still and silent exactly where he's standing and you guys have a very tense staring contest until one of you guys breaks

· in that way he's always trying to make you laugh, your face constantly hurts from how much smiling you do when you're around him!!!!

· and unlike a certain maknae i think he'd let you win things most of the time.

· if he's tickling you to mess around with you, and you need to break free, you totally get back at him by pressing your cold hands against his neck and laugh as he shrieks and pretends like he just got fatally wounded in a war

· "y/n.... how could you........" (HE LITERALLY STARTED IT??)

· he dramatically rolls his eyes back and crumbles to the floor???

· and when you get up to pull him up after he pretended to literally die, YOU GET PULLED INTO HIM FOR ANOTHER ATTACK

· this was indeed the last time he'd ever attempt this because he has also neglected to remember he is also very very ticklish.

· there has to be a study on why he likes to wrestle you so bad when he also claims he's fragile and delicate if you fight him back too hard.

· other than that you've probably won every thumb war, rock paper scissors, and tag match against him at a ratio of 9999:0.

· sure he can get competitive sometimes but he's weak and likes to see you cheer out of excitement when you win ("it's too cute ..." he thinks) even if you know it wasn't a tough battle to begin with.

· and on the off chance he DOES win you get what you want in a roundabout way anyway.

· you don't know how he comes up with some of his insanely convoluted conclusions to justify you getting what you want even if he was the one that won but y'know. he's head over heels for you

· maybe it's because while he is very silly, he's also Incredibly Smart

· you both always have really deep, insightful questions and discussions. about anything, from your favorite movie and why, an exact numerical scale of what counts as "too salty" or "too sweet" to every individual, if trees have feelings, if spongebob would survive living in seoul, or if the fish from shark tales is really that sexy

· i think he aims to spend meaningful time with you since he's so busy, and picking apart each other's brains is a very deep form of bonding to him as someone who's constantly meeting others in a fast-paced, unpersonalized way and also values good discussion

· he likes to go a little slower around you, in all ways. i feel like he's usually moving really fast, both physically and mentally, going from photoshoot to band practice to home, or thinking of everything that's next and what's passed

· when he's with you he really savors that time. he feels at ease when you're around, giving him a little break from everything to just be himself. your presence means so much to him

· he wants you to feel the most safe and loved ever when you're with him and to do so he always always wants to know your thoughts and views and boundaries. you've never once felt ignored or dismissed by him, and he's always taking your side into consideration even if you guys get into rare arguments

· back to being a DORK he sometimes will kiss your cheek with a LOUUUUD kiss noise, going MWAAAHH >3< (yes with the exact face)

· or he'll hug you from behind and sway you a bit

· or rest his chin on your head when you're cuddling watching a movie and gently thrum his fingers on your arm out of habit

· he's just so silly and in love with you and is NOT afraid to show that.

· loves the sound of your laugh the most. could listen to it all day. would go to Great Lengths in order to make you smile and luckily it doesn't take much when he's around :]

· seriously the cutest pair in the world

[ssentimentals]

Another request here but with Carlos from hurt prompt no. 11 and no. 7 and ik its angst but can you give it a soft ending like the drabble is angst but ends at a soft note!!!!!! oh i am already excited for your works.....

f1 request, oh my god, here we go!! thank you sweets 💜 thank you for requesting and i hope you'll like it!

hurt prompt: 'did you really think you'd get a second chance?' 'that's not what i meant and you know it.'

carlos is always calm and collected, so when he lets his phone flying through the room only for it to end up hitting the bedpost, you know that he is angry. livid, even. and maybe, maybe it would've been wise of you to sit this one out, to not argue and make the situation worse. but it hurts, everything he said, every single word is like poison and you had too much. 'did you really think you'd get a second chance?' you hiss out, practically vibrating with frustration. 'after everything you said?'

carlos looks like he's one second away from screaming. his chest rises up and down along with his deep breaths and you can see how he physically holds himself back from raising his voice on you. 'my words,' he starts and then pauses, running his fingers through his hair. 'i just-'

'you want me gone?' you interrupt, clenching your hands into fists. part of you wants to cry out, but you're staying as strong as you can.

'that's not what i meant and you know it.' carlos grits out, looking at you sharply. his usually filled with love and adoration eyes are now staring at you with barely hidden anger. 'you didn't let me finish.'

'then tell me!' you shout, not being able to hold everything inside you anymore. 'tell me what you actually mean, carlos. c'mon, spill it out.'

fighting with carlos is horrible. you hate it, hate standing too far away from, hate this tremor that rocks your body, hate how even though you're angry there's nothing more you want right now than to be in his arms. you know this and carlos knows this too, judging by how his arms keep on flexing, reaching out to you and then backing down. 'i sometimes can't find the right words,' he starts, carefully measuring each word. 'and- i never want you gone. how do you even- tu eres mi vida, how could i possibly want you to be gone when you are my life?' he questions, totally perplexed. 'let's start there. i do not want you to go. ever.'

relief that washes over you makes your knees buckle dangerously. the way he looks at you - those big brown orbs are full of sadness due to fight but also full of love. always full of love when he looks at you even if you two are fighting. without saying a word, carlos takes one step and reaches out to you and frustration is still present in you, but nothing can beat the love that you feel for this man. of course you meet him in the middle and when his arms wrap around you, you feel like you're floating.

'i'm sorry,' carlos mutters into your head. 'please let's talk this out.'

you nod. 'i'm sorry too.'

and you are, truly. and when carlos caresses your back, murmuring gentle nothings into your ear, you know that you're in the right place, place where you belong.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[devilsdeal666]

Ride Home pt.2

Spencer Agnew X Fem Reader

Warnings: non that i know of

Note: No smut, yes i said there would be but I forgot, the next part definitely will, I’ve set it up. This is the second part of Ride home, it’s not been proofread so sorry for any mistakes. Please let me know if there is anything wrong in comments. Let me know if yous want part 3? I have a plan for it so might post when done anyway. Sorry for the rant thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.

WC: no idea.

Back at the office i was on my way to my desk running into Spenser on the way, he still makes me swoon. He is wearing the usually blue jeans with a Smosh hoodie on, his hair is messy but also perfect, he has such beautiful curly brown hair. “Hey Spence.” Saying when you see him. He doesn’t know you have a huge thing for him. “Hi, excited to edit all day?” He says while striding along the hall way towards the editor bay. He’s a lot quicker of a walker than me, but its okay i keep up and we are so close enough that i when we walk in sync i can feel his hand brush mine; butterflies erupt in my stomach. He doesn’t notice but he never does, if he does he doesn’t say anything. But lately he’s been getting closer and touching me more not in a weird way, just getting closer. If I didn’t know him as well as i do, i would think he likes me.

A few days ago i walked into the office seeing him after the few days we had off after the busy week; it was so good to see him again, i missed his smile. He smiled pulling me in for a tight hug, I know he likes physical touch but it makes me so anxious, like what is I’m sweaty or smell or something. The next day as we were sat on the couch at the games couch me and him were on a team today so we were sat together, he was so close i could feel him body heat radiating off him. Spencer is good at games, i like to be on his team because we usually win, he’s pretty good at most games. After the first round of the game we won of corse and in celebration he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into his side, it was something so small but it was also so nice and made me so smiley; I have to act casual though. Looking forward at the screen, he leans in to my ear as he whispers “Are you glad we are wining?” Never have i ever felt so hot and bothered with him whispering in my ear like that. He doesn’t even know how hot his voice is or he wouldn’t do it on a set, we’re everyone can see how much i blushed.

Everything was normal after that day and that was 2 days ago now, he is still his usual self. We sat down at the board table to discuss the next few sketch ideas, Spencer and i sit next to each other as we normally do, we are joking and talking when more people start to walk in and start to take a seat at the table. I hear Shayne say as he walks in with Courtney, “oooohh Spencer just ask her on a date already.” Everyone stops their conversation to look over at us. Laughing Spencer says as if he’s unbothered by the statement. “Oh yeah we are totally into each other.” He pulls you over and you go red like beet. He doesn’t notice but everyone else will Shayne smirks, thinking he has accomplished something. The meeting is uneventful, till the end, as we all start to leave and get up from the table i stand and feel Spencer’s hand on my back as we walk out. Why is he being so touchy the last few days, he’s being so much more than in the past.

A few hours later i am sat at lunch and we are all sat together at the bench, everyone is having their own conversation including me and Spencer, “So what you doing after work?” He says. I think cause i don’t actually know what I am doing after work i was going to get a shower, food and watch some movies. “Probably just relax maybe watch some tv and order food.” “Mind if i join?” You think you didn’t hear him right when we asked to come over, its not unusual for yous to go to each others apartments but you didn’t expect it today. “Yeah sure, meet me at my car after work.” I say as I realise i took way too long to answer him.

He’s at my car when i go outside, stood next to it on his phone. You expected him to be here you’ve been watching when he left to see when you should go out not wanting to act too excited. I walk over slowly he looks up hearing my footsteps, that smile, that beautiful smile. On our drive back to my apartment we talk and have the music on, it’s still funny to think the first time we were in here we were talking about sex songs, well he was talking about it. I am excited for tonight, I know i know it’s not a date but I’m still happy he’s here.

[orangepanic]

Any tips for writing Iroh II? I wanted to put him in a fic of mine but LoK gives us so little to work with, but I’ve seen you’ve done so much with him in your works.

Any advice would be appreciated <3

Wow, I'm honored (get it?) you reached out! I love Iroh II very much - obviously - and am always excited to see him included in other fics.

The thing is, as you said, there's so little in canon that you can honestly do whatever you want. I have my own headcanons about him but they're just that, headcanons, and there's no right or wrong answer here. I've seen him written very differently by different authors and no one take is more valid than another. Go nuts.

That said, I do think there are some characteristics that can be inferred from his small on-screen presence.

He doesn't talk a lot. Compared to his total screen time he has very few lines, and all of his lines are very functional and spoken to others (as opposed to monologue). Ergo, I consider Iroh an introvert who processes a lot internally rather than someone who is chatty and gregarious.

He has short hair and is in the United Forces, not a topknot serving in the Fire Navy. He mentions his mother and grandfather but doesn't share any screen time with them. Therefore, I think Iroh has a complicated relationship with the Fire Nation and is someone comfortable with or even seeing to break with tradition.

Iroh both acts bravely and respects bravery. In nearly every scene he's in he puts himself in physical danger. He notes Bumi is "one of the bravest commanders." He also nearly dies many times over trying to save his and Bumi's troops. So, Iroh is someone who sees his and others service primarily as protection and will not hesitate to physically put himself in front of others. The Avatar RPG even says "expect to see General Iroh leading from the front." I also interpret this as him having somewhat low self-esteem, or at least a reckless disregard for his own safety.

Iroh will bend the rules but not break them and is quick to adapt. In book 1 he essentially goes rogue because there is no one to stop him, and pivots his strategy several times: on the ship when the fire cannons can't hit the planes, after Korra leaves with Mako, and again after he, Asami, and Bolin are captured. In book 2 he instantly devises a strategy of military exercises to support Korra's cause, then casts it aside as soon as Raiko orders him not to but tells Korra to go to the Fire Nation. In book 4 he mounts a defense a week early with four hours' notice, then surrenders to Kuvira when ordered but tells Korra to run for it even though the Avatar's surrender was included in the order because he knows he reports to Raiko but she doesn't. So, I conclude Iroh is very smart but also knows what he can and can't get away with, would generally prefer to do what he considers the right thing and will tell others to do what he can't when he's stopped, and will defend his actions on technicalities.

He doesn't change his clothes. In book 1 his uniform is soaking wet and shredded. Yet except for his missing sleeve, he's immaculate. Buttoned up, cravat knotted, medals attached. Could Gommu have scared up another outfit? Almost certainly. But Iroh says no. Compare this to Bumi's unbuttoned dishevelment and I think it's safe to infer that Iroh is a neat and clean individual who holds the image of his office in high regard. This is the kind of guy who folds his socks and labels his leftovers and never forgets to shave.

Dude is hot. Hottttttt. Yet there's no mention of a Mr. or Mrs. Fire Nation, and he's not exactly hitting on anyone on screen. So, Iroh is either shy or socially awkward or married to his job or finds himself in some other way unfit for companionship or - in my writing - often all four.

From the above I get an intelligent, brave, intellectually agile, determined, ambitious, orderly individual who thinks before he speaks, is somewhat alone in the world, and is ready and willing to die to protect others both because it aligns with his own values and because he sees himself as somewhat disposable. If there's an attack, he's between whatever it is and innocent people. If there's a party, he's in the back of the room wondering how soon he can leave. If there's a job to do, he's working at it until it's done to his satisfaction or he's directly ordered to stop, in which case he'll secretly tell someone else to do it instead.

Anyway, that's more or less how I wound up with my characterization of Iroh II. Happy writing! I'm excited to see what you come up with.

[chvoswxtch]

Congratulations on 5k!!! Even those words don’t feel like enough to convey how absolutely thrilled I am for you, how much you absolutely deserve that and so so so much more! You’re such a talented writer and I’m so grateful to have you here, and even more grateful that you’re STILL here after all this time ♥️ ever since I first found your work, it’s sent excitement shooting up my spine to see your name on anything because I know I’m about to have an absolutely incredible read!

To celebrate, may I humbly request a thriller (directors cut totally optional) from the “jealousy | forgiveness | revenge” trilogy? Maybe something about how the three of you got together or a scene from the early days of the relationship?

okay you didn't have to come for my heart like that. you're too good to me, I adore you so much. thank YOU for still being here and still being so lovely and wonderful and such a light 🖤

blurb below the cut

passport to paris starring matt murdock & frank castle

You had never found yourself torn between two men before. It was difficult to navigate something so unprecedented, and comparing and contrasting the two of them in your head wasn’t making it any easier.

Matt was undeniably charming. He made you laugh, he made you feel desired, and even though he wasn’t always great with words, you knew he cared about you, deeply. But he wasn’t always there, emotionally or physically. Calls went unanswered, dates were cancelled last minute, and his recklessness and lack of regard for his own well being concerned you. He’d let you get close, but he never fully let you in.

Frank was a little more reserved around you at first, but when it was just the two of you, he was different. He was sweet. He remembered the little things. He wasn’t always great with words either, but God did he try. You could feel how much he cared. But just like Matt, he wasn’t always there. He could be just as absent emotionally and physically. 

They both knew about the unspoken competition between them. Nothing was serious or committed with either of them. And while neither of them explicitly pressured you to make a final decision, you felt the weight of that pressure. And you yourself felt like you needed to make that decision, as impossible as it felt. But the more you thought about it, the more you couldn’t really decide. You didn’t want to lose Matt. You didn’t want to lose Frank. And choosing one of them meant losing the other. 

So you made the call neither one of them saw coming.

“Wait, what?”

Matt was the first to speak up. You’d invited them both over to have this conversation in person. Matt looked confused, and irritated, while Frank was sitting stoically. But you could see a flash of hurt in his warm brown eyes that killed you.

“You know how I feel about both of you. And choosing one of you means losing the other. I don’t want to do that. And I also can’t…neither one of you are here, not really. Even if I did choose, I’d still end up alone. I’d still end up paralyzed with fear every night that it could be the night something happens you can’t walk away from. And I’m not going to force you to choose what you do over me, but I’m also not going to put myself in a situation where I lose no matter what.”

The weight of your words hung heavy in the air. Your shoulders felt lighter, but your heart felt heavier.

“So that’s it then? You’re just done with both of us?”

The hurt in Matt’s voice was clear as day, and it gutted you, and it made guilt seep from your own voice.

“Don’t say it like that-”

“Well how else am I supposed to say it?”

“Red.”

Frank’s gruff voice cut through Matt’s intention to continue lashing out. It was firm, like a barely disguised warning, one Matt surprisingly heeded. He pressed his lips together in a firm line, feeling the hardness of Frank’s stare that rendered him silent. You’d never seen Matt back down before, and certainly not to Frank. It caught you so off guard you almost didn’t notice that Frank was now looking at you with a considerably softer expression.

“It don’t gotta be one or the other.”

Confusion creased between your brows as you looked over at Frank.

“What?”

“I don’t care if you want him too. You don’t gotta choose. I’m fine with it.”

“Fine with…what? Dating you both?”

“Yeah.”

He said it so simply, and it only perplexed you further. Frank stood up and walked over towards you, taking your hand gently.

“Would it make you happy? Not havin’ to choose?”

Blinking a few times, you looked over at Matt, and you noticed he had straightened up and had a thoughtful expression on his face. After a moment of silence, he took a step forward and took your other hand. His voice was softer this time when he spoke.

“Would it?”

Looking between the two of them, your perplexity only increased. Having both of them was a thought that hadn’t crossed your mind. You didn’t even think it was an option. 

“Don’t overthink it. Just answer.”

Frank gave your hand a gentle squeeze. 

“We’re okay with it if you are.”

Matt’s words made your head whip in his direction. 

“You are?”

The surprise in your voice made that signature smirk of his tug at the edge of his lips. 

“Is that what’s hindering your decision?”

“Well yeah, I mean, I didn’t think-”

“I’m good with it. Red, you good?”

Matt’s smirk widened as he brushed his thumb over your knuckles.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Then we’re all on the same page, yeah?”

Frank was looking down at you expectantly, but you were still trying to process what they were implying. Matt let out a deep chuckle, turning you to face Frank and pressing his chest against your back.

“I think we broke that pretty little head of hers.”

Frank’s mouth spread into a smirk that made your knees feel like jelly, and he brushed his index finger along your jawline gently.

“Maybe we should explain it to her without words.”

[skzooweemama]

Hello!!! Omg I've recently been obsessing over your posts 😅 I love your writing style!

If you're not too busy, could you do a thing that's like skz's reactions to finding out you're ticklish?

It's totally fine if you don't want to, take care!! 💕

yes ofccccc!! i'm so glad you like my writing!

formal apologies to all my not ticklish stays- just pretend for this one :) <33

two posts in two days? who am i? guess i’m on a writing kick lol- unfortunately i do not think this will continue (but also i don’t want it to be another month before i post again so i’m gonna do my best)

anyway- hope y’all enjoy!! this was super fun to write! still experimenting w formatting too so stay tuned 😵‍💫

~~~

Bang Chan:

channie definitely figured it out quick

literally he is always touching you

we've been over this

of course he is a gentleman

his love language may be physical touch, but he had to make sure you're okay w that first!

waits until you begin to initiate affection more often before he gets clingy

but then he's kind of all over you :)

you invited him over to your place one night, and even though he had just been working for hours, he was just too excited to see you

he was super tired though, so you took it upon yourself to set up a cute movie date so the two of you could just chill out and cuddle

at first, channie was just happily cuddled up against your side, an arm lazily slug around you waist while you petted his hair

it was cute and sleepy and perfect

until he just had to go and mess it up

chan's musicality seemed to get the best of him as he began to drum the rhythm to one of their tracks out on your waist

your very ticklish waist

there was a noble and valiant effort to stop yourself from freaking out, but alas

you let out a squeal and suddenly chan perked up, his exhaustion completely gone

safe to say you got pinned to the couch and tickled within an inch of your life

praying for you babe, he is a true monster

Lee Know:

minho wasn't really on the hunt for your tickle spots tbh

honestly, it's not something he thinks about a lot

unless it's happening right in front of him or he's feeling mischievous and he can take it out on someone in his direct vicinity (ex. our maknae on top)

his interest has to be piqued first

that's why when he figured out that you're ticklish, it was literally in the most cliche way possible

that's right- you got stuck in your shirt

it was a cute top that was way too expensive, but you had splurged a bit because you wanted something nice to wear on night outs

unfortunately, it was also incredibly tight and hard to get on and off

especially for your tipsy post-date brain... you were struggling

that's how minho found you, with your top half off, arms trapped in the fabric pulled over your head

he scoffed at you, shaking his head and tutting that you should've asked for help

just like him to be condescending at a time like this smh

but he does help you, grasping at your fabric cage and yanking upwards

and it was so helpful, except for the fact that he just barely brushed your underarms

which made you squeal and pull away from him

which made him curious

minho helped you out of the top completely before he decided to explore what made you squeal like that

after that, though, he tackled you onto the bed and found every single tickle spot you had before he even thought about letting you go

and he's a meanie too... idk if you'll survive :)

Changbin:

changbin has definitely tried to tickle you before

he just never found the spot

yk how sometimes you'll see vids of idols "tickling" their member's forearms or like shoulder?

he did shit like that, fully expecting you to laugh

safe to say you did not

so he had mostly given up, content with the fact that you aren't ticklish

however

he did start to take you on gym dates

and on one of these gym dates he discovered just how wrong he was

you decided to try to do an unassisted chin up, which you had been building up to by using resistance bands each time you tried

changbin was standing close by for moral support (and also to catch you just in case)

you made sure to remember the proper technique and pulled yourself all the way up, chin just meeting the bar

changbin cheered when you dropped down, grasping your waist and kissing your cheek proudly

you felt so victorious! but when changbin's hand just brushed against the skin of your stomach from beneath your shirt, you froze and let out a squeak of surprise

despite my earlier comments, changbin is no dummy

you can be sure that later that night he decided to see just how sensitive you really were

you'll never have a moment of peace with him now ;))))

Hyunjin:

hyunjin is a poker

for some reason, those long fingers of his are just drawn to exposed skin

changbin is a frequent target, but tbh all of the members have fallen victim to his shenanigans at some point

and ofc, there's no special treatment, even if you're dating him

you will be poked, and it will tickle

your first mistake was wearing a new shirt that had those slits going diagonally down the front of the top

you hadn't even thought anything of it when you put it on that morning

i mean, it's a shirt and you were under the assumption that your boyfriend wasn't a weirdo

(you were wrong)

that night, hyunjin decided to help you make some dinner

and by "help" i mean he stood behind you with his hands around your waist and his chin on your shoulder while you cooked, talking your ear off about whatever came to his mind

he's annoying

anyway, eventually he got bored

you were too focused on the food! how could you ignore him?!

as he stewed in his boredom, his fingers found their way to the slits in the front of your shirt and brushed up against your warm skin

and then, he delivered one firm poke

right to your bellybutton

immediately, you let out a strained giggle and tried to move away from him, but unfortunately he had you trapped between the kitchen counter and his body

before you could even devise another plan of escape, his hands slipped beneath your shirt and began to wreck your tummy, shirt slits be damned

you nearly died that night, and it was certainly not the last time something like that happened~

Han:

jisung was shy

really he was, especially at the beginning of your relationship

it took him a while to even work up the nerve to kiss you after you began dating, and even then he was kind of drunk

but somewhere around the 3 month mark, a switch flipped

he began to touch you more and he was more playful

introverts are funny like that

it stands to reason that he discovered how ticklish you were not long after

i mean, how were you supposed to respond when he asked to give you a foot massage? say no?

you tried that, but he pouted and you caved

you sort of accepted the fact that he'd find out, especially when you got out of the shower to find him on your bed with lotion and foot masks

and he looked so fcking cute too, curse you jisung >:(

safe to say he knew something was up as soon as you sat down to offer him a foot to massage

you were bright red, stuttering, and even sweating a lil bit

and when he started teasing?! telling you how cute you looked?!!?

oh no, you were done for

he couldn't even start massaging, you collapsed in giggles as soon as his fingers grazed the bottoms of your feet with lotion

your silly boyfriend started laughing at you, and the next thing you knew, your feet were headlocked beneath his arm and he was going to town on them

you screamed and thrashed, and eventually pulled a foot away and gave him a good kick

bad idea, because now he's gonna get revenge by finding out what other spots make you scream <3

Felix:

felix was totally curious

like you knew he was ticklish (you reminded him of that fact frequently), so shouldn't he know if you were too?

he thought he should

his investigation began one evening when he came over for a sleepover

you, ofc, were expecting nothing but cuddles and romantic cutesy stuff

after your last week of midterms at university, it felt more necessary than ever

felix, on the other hand, was nothing if not conniving

it wasn't his fault that you just looked so cute in your pjs

perfect to test his theories on as well

you had dragged him to the bathroom so you could do skincare together, and then made him sit through a face mask, and then you two finally went to bed

but felix still had to wait for the perfect moment

and he wasn't gonna stop you when your lips found their way to his, small kisses blossoming into a lazy make-out session

emphasis on "lazy" because honestly you could hardly keep your eyes open by the time he pulled away

he giggled and brushed your hair from your eyes, thumb tracing your kiss-swollen lips as he whispered about how pretty you were

you flushed, scolding him about being a tease before you reached to turn off your bedside table lamp

felix suddenly remembered his mission

and his time had arrived

you just barely clicked the light off before felix stuck his fingers right into your armpit, massaging deep circles into your flesh

you positively squealed, unable to stop yourself from falling into witch-like cackles

felix's investigation was a success, and you can bet he'd use these findings again and again

Seungmin:

seungmin tickles you to get what he wants

or at least, he does after he finds out about your weakness

and it doesn't take long really

technically, the two of you weren't even official yet when he makes the discovery

the night before, one thing kind of led to another during an after-party, and the next thing you knew, you woke up in the same bed

wearing very little

anywayyyy

seungmin was the first to wake up in the morning with a raging headache

no lie, he felt like he had been run over by 20 tour buses

somehow, when he saw you, cuddled into his chest snoozing peacefully, he felt less gross

it was probably because he was in love with you, but he wasn't really ready to admit that to himself yet

and he did really have to pee, and he could not do that with you koalabeared onto him

no time to think about emotions or anything

at first, he tried to shake you awake, which proved to be futile

next, he tried prying your arms off from around his waist, but your grip was like iron

finallly, he tried poking and prodding you because he didn't have any other ideas

almost immediately you began to squirm away, trying to fight off the tickles in your sleepy state

eventually (partly because you were too cute gently giggling and partly because now he really needed to pee) he finally dug into your sides and really gave you a good wake up call

you woke up laughing loudly from the tickles, and when your vision cleared, you saw a blushing seungmin making his way to the bathroom

I.N:

Jeongin tickles you when you annoy him

which you do a lot

it's like you were built to push all of his buttons istg

the first time he ever found out you were ticklish, you were making fun of him

it was a personal favorite pastime of yours

(definitely not because you thought jeongin was hot when he was frustrated, no ofc not)

today had just not been a good day for him in the slightest

his voice was a bit hoarse so he couldn’t record, he kept missing steps in their dance practice, and to top it all off he was breaking out from the stress of a new comeback

so really, why were you adding gas to that fire?

usually you only bugged him because you wanted to get his mind off of whatever was bothering him

your teasing was light hearted, and you never had bad intentions

but when you wouldn’t stop asking for kisses, started whining at him after he said he didn’t wanna give you kisses, and then sat yourself right on top of him and refused to move… that’s when he got fed up

and yet you kept it up

jeongin decided he needed to do something drastic

and of course he’d never hurt you and he wasn’t truly mad, but he did need to teach you a lesson

so… he set his hands on your hips, looking up at you from where you were seated on his lap, facing him

and he asked if you would move

when you said “no” once again, he squeezed your hips like his life depended on it

you shrieked and fell to the side, trying to squirm away from his evil hands as they tickled you mercilessly

as jeongin pinned you down and made you laugh until you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t help but think about how you deserved this

whatever, it was fun so you just decided to be even more annoying in the future :)

[endofradio]

FRAGMENTS OF FEAR — CHAPTER 7: TREASON

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6

WARNINGS: gore mentions

NOTES: i lowkey locked in with this chapter WHY IS IT SO LONG. i also decided to spice things up a bit by having sylvie talk to abigail instead of joey doing it (when abigail says that frank is valdez). i am VERY excited to write the scene where abigail exposes everybody because the drama is going to be REAL.

SUMMARY: now that everyone’s locked inside, sylvie decides to make the decision to talk to abigail herself, something that she regrets. after rickles dies next, sylvie confronts frank, which only leaves her feeling more confused and frightened than she already is.

WORD COUNT: 3,290

TAGLIST: @reclaimedbythesea @creelmalfoylaufeyson69 @that-one-gay-aew-enthusiast @evildarliing @maggotmommys @maggotssmichael @13th-floor-in-moonstone @vampireheist @xashleyo03x @blackwolfstabs @atcarpenter

shoot me a message if you’d like to be added to my taglist! and… seriously — reblogs and comments are heavily appreciated. don’t just leave a like! it helps keep me motivated. 🙏

“Come on, Rickles. Hey!”

Rickles was storming straight for the front door, adamant on his decision to leave. Even with Joey calling for him and following after him, he didn’t change his mind one bit. Once he reached the door, he attempted to open it.

Well, unfortunately for him, the door was completely locked. There was no way to get out. In fact, as Rickles attempted to open the door, some sort of silver gate rose up, blocking the door from any sort of access. It was completely shielded by the gate. Everyone stared at the door in confusion. How the hell did that happen?

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Peter asked. He figured that since he was the strongest of the entire group, he probably had a chance at unlocking the door. It was worth a try, at least.

Turns out, being 6’5” and over 200 pounds doesn’t always make somebody the strongest. No matter how hard Peter strained as he tried to break the door free, nothing happened.

Confused, Peter looked up at the door. “What the fuck?”

He turned around to look at Rickles. “Rickles, stand back.”

Rickles took a few steps back, and then Peter threw himself at the gate, trying to use all of his strength in an attempt to successfully break through it. Still, nothing happened. It only resulted in some physical pain that definitely hadn’t been worth it.

“It’s locked,” Peter announced, disappointed.

Frank rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Peter. It’s obviously fuckin’ locked.”

Sylvie and the others watched as Peter still tried to unlock the door. Great, so now everyone was stuck here. Dean had mysteriously been killed, and now the front door was completely unusable. It almost seemed like this entire place was just one big trap.

Frank sauntered over to Sylvie with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “Looks like you’re stuck with me, then.”

Sylvie looked up at Frank, a half-annoyed expression on her face. Seeing that infuriatingly smug grin on his face made her want to just smack him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Maybe she was a coward, maybe it was something else. Either way, the fact she couldn’t make herself do anything about it was bothering her. It was as though her feelings toward Frank were slowly beginning to do a complete 180° in the span of just a few hours.

“And I bet you’re just happy about that, aren’t you?” She asked, trying to sound like a total smart-ass. A snarky response was the most Sylvie could do.

Frank’s smirk grew at Sylvie’s response. He only looked cockier. “Well, I’m certainly not complaining.”

“This whole thing is a trap.”

Frank and Sylvie looked to see Rickles walking away in an obvious hurry. If the front door wasn’t going to be any use, then he figured he’d keep looking. He was determined to get out of this place somehow.

Peter watched as Rickles disappeared. “Rickles! Where’s… hey. Where’s Rickles going?”

“Goddamnit.” Frank hissed under his breath. “Don’t worry about it, Peter. I’ll go after him.”

Peter sighed. “Alright.”

Joey then had an idea. “If Valdez is here, perhaps he checked on the girl and left her there to throw us off…” she speculated.

“I’ll go talk to her.” Sylvie then offered. Right as Joey was about to speak, she was already making her way back up the stairs to the kid’s room.

“Wait—”

Sylvie paused, turning around to look at Joey, who was trying to catch up with her.

“You can’t go in there, Ava.”

“She’s already seen my face. It doesn’t matter.”

Before Joey could say anything else to try and stop Sylvie, she continued on her way.

When Sylvie carefully opened the door, Abigail looked up at her, fearfully clutching a blanket. The sight made Sylvie’s heart clench. She felt really, really bad for the kid. None of this was right at all. She should be at home right now, not locked up in some mansion in the middle of nowhere in Massachusetts.

“What do you… want?” The girl croaked, her voice trembling. “Where’s Joey?”

Sylvie sighed, carefully taking a seat on the edge of the bed, making sure to keep her distance. The last thing she wanted was to make the kid even more afraid than she already was.

“I just need to ask you something,” Sylvie explained, trying to sound as gentle as possible. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just need to talk to you, okay?”

Reluctantly, the girl slowly nodded. She still seemed wary of Sylvie, but not as much. Well, that was a good sign at least.

“Has anyone else been in this room?” Sylvie then asked.

Abigail paused, then shook her head. “N-no… just you and… Joey… and the man with the glasses…”

Sylvie slowly nodded. Only her, Joey, and Frank had been in the room, apparently. Just to make sure that Abigail was being honest, she decided to press a little more. She knew how scared kids could lie, speaking from her own experience. Sylvie had personally lied a lot as a child to protect herself. If Valdez had come in here, there was the possibility that he could’ve threatened Abigail into keeping his name out of her mouth. Hopefully, that wasn’t the case.

“Are you sure?” Sylvie asked, slowly raising an eyebrow.

Abigail gave a quick nod.

Sylvie sighed. “Nobody else has been in this room, is that correct? By the way, you can be honest. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”

Abigail shook her head. Sylvie tried to search her expression for any sign of hesitation, but… she appeared to be telling the truth. Sylvie couldn’t detect a single sign of dishonesty.

She was about to get up and leave the room when Abigail suddenly spoke up.

“He’s gonna hurt me.”

Sylvie turned around to look at her, noticing how the girl seemed to be completely frightened again. She paused, feeling her chest begin to tighten with concern.

“What do you mean? Who’s gonna hurt you?”

“The man with the glasses.” Abigail continued, her voice growing more panicked. “He said he’s gonna hurt me.”

Sylvie could feel her chest start to tighten even more. “Wait, hold on. Are you telling me the truth?”

Abigail frantically nodded. “Yes! I’m serious… I’m serious. Please… please believe me. I’m really scared. He said I need to keep a secret, or… or he’d hurt me.”

“What secret?”

What she said next made Sylvie’s heart just about drop to her stomach.

“He said he works for my father… he said his name’s… Valdez.”

Fuck.

Sylvie didn’t know what to believe. Sure, Frank was a cold-hearted bastard in all honesty… but a ruthless murderer? Maybe she was just in denial, but she couldn’t picture him doing what had been done to Dean. She wasn’t sure if he was that sadistic, that cruel. The idea of Frank working for Lazar and being a brutal killer was enough to make Sylvie sick to her stomach.

If it was all true… then what else did Sylvie not know about Frank?

“You’re not just saying that, right?” She carefully asked.

Abigail looked so afraid that she seemed as though she was about to break down in tears. She fervently nodded again. “I’m telling the truth, I promise!”

Sylvie had to get out of there. She couldn’t bring herself to hear anything else. She didn’t want to hear anything else.

But, as she started to head for the door, Abigail spoke up again.

“Why are you surprised?”

Sylvie was starting to feel increasingly agitated. She turned around again, suddenly sick of hearing the child’s voice. “What the hell do you mean?” She asked, sounding almost irritated. She instantly regretted it.

“He’s a very bad man. I think you know that.”

Sylvie had enough. Quickly, she rushed out of the room and shut the door, her mind struggling to process everything she had just heard. None of it made sense. None of it seemed… real. She leaned against the door, trying to steady her breathing.

What am I supposed to do now?

As Sylvie remained there, her back pressed against the door, she tried to think. As she reflected on Abigail’s words, she thought about what she said about Frank working for Lazar. As she thought about it… she reluctantly realized that it made sense. She remembered back to when she and Frank were talking earlier, how he had admitted to leaving his old life behind.

What if he had been referring to working for Lazar?

The more Sylvie thought about it, the more sick she felt. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Maybe the kid’s just lying because she’s scared.

But… why would she say something like that?

Why are you surprised? He’s a very bad man. Those words kept repeating in Sylvie’s brain. But… what confused her the most was Abigail’s next words after that, “I think you know that.” What the hell had she meant by that? I think you know that? Sylvie didn’t even know who the fuck the girl was.

What was even worse was that she was right — Sylvie knew that Frank wasn’t a good person. But… “a very bad man?” What the fuck— nevermind. She was done thinking about this bullshit. The more she thought, the more confused she became.

As Sylvie continued to lean against the door, she heard voices coming from one of the rooms down the hall — Joey and Rickles. Quickly, she hurried down the hall and into the room, clearly interrupting a conversation. Upon seeing the worry on Sylvie’s face, though, Joey and Rickles both became concerned.

“What is it?” She asked.

Sylvie drew in a shaky breath. “Something is really fucking wrong.”

Joey narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

Sylvie couldn’t bring herself to explain. “If you want to know, go talk to the girl yourself. I don’t… I don’t know if she’s being serious or not.”

Joey and Rickles exchanged a disconcerted glance before looking back at Sylvie. Joey slowly nodded. “Alright. I’ll… be right back.”

Once Joey disappeared, Rickles glanced at Sylvie again. “You look like you’ve seen a fucking ghost.” He commented. “The hell happened?”

Sylvie shook her head. “I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it. If she tells Joey the same thing she told me, I swear to God…”

Now, Rickles just seemed confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Look. Are you sure there’s no other way out of here? I need to get out of here. I… I want to go home.”

Rickles sighed, crossing his arms. “Trust me, I wish there was. As far as I know, we’re all locked up in here for who knows how much goddamn longer. I’m not buying the ‘twenty-four hours’ bullshit. I guarantee this is a trap.”

Sylvie nervously tapped her foot against the floor, her eyes darting around anxiously as she waited for Joey to return, anticipating what she would say. Seconds ticked by, and they were starting to seem like hours at this point.

“You believe Valdez is real, right?” Sylvie then asked.

Rickles slowly nodded. “I’ve heard too much shit about him for him not to be.” He answered, his voice taking on a grave tone.

“Do you really think it’s possible he’s here right now? Like, one of us is actually him?”

“Dean’s head was ripped clean off. That’s some bullshit that only Valdez is capable of,” Rickles explained, “and if the girl’s Lazar’s daughter… gives him more of a reason to be here.”

“Have you two seen Frank?”

Sylvie and Rickles turned around to see Joey briskly walking towards them. Her expression was difficult to read, but she did seem rather pissed. At least, that’s what her tone of voice suggested.

“I can go look for him.” Rickles then offered. “Why? He the next victim?”

Joey scoffed. “No. Actually, he might be the killer.”

Rickles’ eyes narrowed in a mixture of confusion and shock. “Wait, what?”

Sylvie felt like she was going to vomit right then and there.

“Frank is Valdez.” Joey continued, her voice cold. “He told the girl.”

Rickles wasn’t exactly buying it. “He wanted to leave. That doesn’t make any sense.”

He had a good point, Sylvie thought. If Frank was really Valdez, then why the hell did he seem so adamant about leaving after talking to Abigail?

“He acted like he wanted to leave.” Joey then said.

“If he’s Valdez and Lazar’s his boss, then why kidnap his kid?” Rickles questioned.

Sylvie was relieved that at least Rickles was skeptical… but at the same time, if Frank wasn’t Valdez, then who was? Jesus Christ… none of this was making any sense.

“Maybe he and Lambert are planning a power play.” Joey suggested.

Rickles let out a sigh. “You’re telling me that skinny motherfucker rips people apart?” He scoffed. “Something doesn’t add up.”

Sylvie decided that she might as well offer her opinion. “I know he’s an asshole, but I can’t picture him doing some gruesome shit like that, y’know?”

Joey seemed reluctant to believe Rickles and Sylvie, her expression wary. “All I know is that Frank definitely isn’t an amateur. Something about him doesn’t sit right with me.” She spoke. “If Frank really is Valdez, then he definitely knows how to get out of here, which means so would I if I spend about six minutes with him.”

“So… what’s the plan?” Sylvie asked.

Joey sighed, clicking her tongue as she tried to think of something. “You two split up and take the main staircase. I’ll go south. We’ll meet in the middle.”

Reluctantly, Sylvie slowly nodded. “Alright.”

Rickles tried to offer a small, reassuring smile. “We gonna get through this.”

“I have to.”

“You have a kid?” He asked.

Joey nodded. Sylvie felt a pang in her chest. God… she definitely did not belong here. Silently, Sylvie hoped that Joey’s son was safe and well back at home.

Rickles placed a comforting hand on Joey’s shoulder. “We’ll make sure you get home.”

As Sylvie wandered through the mansion, she started to feel unsafe now that she had lost sight of Rickles. Now, she was by herself, and suddenly… everything seemed eerily quiet. Where was he, anyway?

Sylvie stood there in the hallway, her eyes anxiously darting around as she tried to see if she could hear or spot any sign of him. Yet, there was nothing.

And then, she heard what sounded like gurgling coming from the distance. Her heart starting to race with worry, Sylvie dashed toward the direction of where the sound was coming from, leading her to another room. As she stood in the doorway, she saw Rickles standing there, his back turned.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Sylvie asked, her voice cautious.

Then, Rickles suddenly collapsed, and that was when Sylvie caught sight of his face — it was horribly mutilated and looked as though a fucking dog had ripped through his face. His cheek was torn open, and she could see his teeth through the gaping, bloody hole. The wound went all the way down his neck, dark blood staining his shirt.

Covering her mouth, Sylvie took a few steps back, desperately fighting the urge to vomit. She immediately wanted to break down and cry right there, just… scream. “What the fuck…? No, no, no…”

Two people had just brutally died in this mansion. Already, two people were gone in only a brief span of time. Sylvie didn’t know how much more she could handle. Who was going to be next? That was all she could think about.

Quickly, Sylvie ran to the nearest bathroom, opening the toilet seat as she retched. Nothing came up, so all she could do was let out painful dry heaves. Once she was done, she closed the seat and staggered to her feet. Suddenly feeling a rush of anger, she slammed her fists against the wall, as though she was trying to knock some sense into herself. Maybe this was just a nightmare, and she’d wake up from it.

“Wake up… fucking WAKE UP!”

She continued to punch the wall, but nothing happened. She only felt pain… which meant this was either real or a hyper-realistic nightmare. Unfortunately, it was beginning to seem like it was… real.

“Hey, what the fuck’s the matter with you?”

Sylvie whipped her head around, her senses on high alert. Any movement, sound, or voice was enough to make her jump out of her skin at this point.

When she turned around, Sylvie saw Frank standing there, looking at her with a mixture of annoyance and… perhaps a bit of concern, which was rather rare to see from him. It seemed more like an annoyed type of concern, whatever the hell that meant.

Upon seeing Frank’s face, Sylvie didn’t know how to react. One thing was for sure — she didn’t feel good.

“Get… get away from me.”

Frank narrowed his eyes, his annoyance growing. Instead of listening to Sylvie and backing away from her, he only stepped closer to her. She flinched as he moved towards her, almost as if she was expecting him to hurt her.

Frank let out an irritated scoff. “Jesus Christ, would you calm the fuck down? I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Why don’t you have any… blood on you?” Sylvie asked, her voice shaking.

Frank looked taken aback by the question, his eyes widening slightly in a genuine expression of shock. “The fuck are you talkin’ about?”

“You… you’re Valdez. The girl… the girl told me.”

Frank went from shocked to annoyed in seconds. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You’re seriously listening to her?”

“Rickles just… Rickles just died. Rickles and Dean are both dead. You…”

Frank rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Sylvie, for the love of God. You don’t have a single clue what you’re fuckin’ talking about, do you? I know you’re smarter than this.”

“Well, can you please tell me what the fuck is going on? I just saw two people die. I’m scared. I want to get out of here.”

“What’s going on?” Frank repeated. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

“Please tell me the truth. The girl said the same thing to me and Joey, that you’re… that you’re Valdez.”

Frank let out an annoyed huff. “Did she, now? Well, I don’t appreciate people trying to tarnish my fuckin’ reputation.”

Sylvie swallowed, trying to steady her breathing. “So… she’s lying?”

Frank chuckled, the sound devoid of any humor. “No fuckin’ shit. Children love to lie… but lying about something like this? I’d say that somebody needs to be put in their goddamn place.”

“But then… who did it? Who’s… killing everybody?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know. That’s what we’re all trying to figure out, right?”

Letting out an annoyed grumble, Frank turned around to walk away. Just as he was about to leave, Sylvie spoke.

“You’re not going to let anything happen to me, right? Just… tell me everything’s going to be okay. I don’t… I really don’t want to die. Not here.”

Frank paused, looking back at Sylvie for a moment. His expression was unreadable, but he seemed slightly caught off-guard by her sudden vulnerability. In the time that he knew her, he never once heard her ask him for reassurance. Frank had always known Sylvie as a defiant, feisty little brat… yet, here she was, frightened to death because she didn’t want to die. It was a side of her that he had never seen before.

No, don’t let her get to you.

Frank remained silent for a few moments, trying to think of how he would respond.

“You’re not gonna die.” He simply answered, his voice matter-of-fact. Cold. Emotionless.

And then, he left.

[mossviro]

HI MOUTHWASHING ENJOYERS.

are u a lore appreciator and have seen this video about the board game? or perhaps this post? this wiki page? well i have a new exciting development: ALL OF THEM ARE MISSING SOMETHING <3

All three things above list four states. Incorrect, somehow there are 5 states in total and we all missed it... So, here is the updated version of the different states!

The reason I haven't corrected the wiki nor my old post is because I believe its possible that the 3rd and 4th state may have been mistakenly switched.

Keeping explanation under the readmore because its pitifully irrelevant to the actual lore LOL i am simply. So Adamant on this minor and inconsequential lore bit <3

HI. SO. I arranged these board game states based on the chronological date given within the chapters they're in! So state 1 is what is arranged on the board game in the lounge room from 7 days before the crash to 4 months after. state 2 shows up 5 months after, state three 8 hours until judgement, and so on.

I also wrote the chapter numbers they appear in, and the general plot beat happening within. (also sorry they look evil i actually did color correct a little they're just. SO fucking red. i did the best i could LOL)

The big, big thing I believe is that the devs switched states 3 in chapter 14 and state 4 in chapter 19!

So while the game lists the board game states as going from 1 - 5, I believe the devs intended that it should be ordered as 1, 2, 4, 3, 5.

Essentially,

state 4 should be third chronologically, in chapter 14, when it's 8 hours before judgement, where Jimmy was trying to find the mouthwash to clean Daisuke's wounds, and

state 3 should be fourth chronologically, in chapter 19, when it's 6 hours before judgement, where Daisuke dies and Jim finds the handgun while Swansea corners him in medbay with an axe with intent to kill.

The video linked above references states 1, 2, 3, and 5, and misses state 4. It's pretty great for its interpretations so I recommend it for understanding the plot beats to the pieces and to know what the hell im talking about below LOL

The reason I really like state 3 and 4 switched is that

Daisuke's death -- while Daisuke is almost dead in chapter 14, Daisuke is truly dead in chapter 19, which state 3 would fit best, as state 3 has all of Daisuke's pieces knocked over. This comes with the assumption that knocked over pieces symbolizes a character's physical death (which fits in all other states)

Jim in the winning lane -- If the states are ordered with 3 and 4 switched, the interaction of Swansea's piece moving behind Jim's and yanking it out of the winning lane and Jim shaking him off is a lot more clear (which makes me happy because i think its such a cool symbolic way to represent Swansea trying to thwart Jim but ultimately failing despite having multiple opportunities, such as charging him in medbay and breaking the door to the pilot room).

Swansea cornering Jim -- All of Swansea's pieces going from flanking Jim's threateningly in state 4 to a single Swansea piece RIGHT behind Jim's in state 3 makes a lot of sense with assuming that it's visualizing the process of Swansea realizing Jim's fucked-up intents and getting closer because he's committed himself to killing him. You can see from state 5, and also the in-game events, that Jim ends up killing Swansea in the end despite his final attempt in the engineering room.

BUT YEAH lmk if you agree or think im a dumbass, thanks for reading my Insanity <3 maybe some day we'll have a definitive answer but until then. Join me in my Insanity :-) YIPPEEE

Also. something really interesting that i actually don't want to figure out. is if state 4 being in chapter 3 (the nightmare chapter where Jimbo has a heart to heart with Curly, gets an axe from the cockpit, and chops Curly while he lies on the table) makes sense. That one hurts my brain. Is it a real dream or not. Is that symbolizing Jim eating Curly's leg or just Jim having the idea of cannibalizing him. SO MANY QUESTIONS

[carionto]

Another Happy Landing

Space!

It's huge!

Like, beyond words and stuff.

So anyway, people want to get to places that are far away, BUT they also don't want to wait for months and centuries to get to those places that are really REALLY REALLY REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLY far away.

But then there's this jerk called Physics, you know, total rules lawyer, nobody likes them, but their dad is God, and just generally a total Karen when you try something they didn't think of before. Real party-pooper. Meanwhile, you're just a guy named Greg. With a bad knee and student debt. And your wife left for Chad. She found a nice beauty resort and booked a three week experience. She'll bring back souvenirs. If she remembers. Which she won't, just like the last three times. But it's okay, you've got a bucket of ice cream and the entire TNG series loaded up. Not the movies though, you're trying to erase them from your mind.

Back to Greg. Wait, no - Physics.

Today, Captain Knoslark and his advanced research ship - The Radiant Dusk at Everest (and crew) are going to give that snotty brat the middle finger.

For today, marks the beginning of a new era of space travel. One that barely involves using space at all. Time either. We're just gonna bypass those two pesky nuisances and finally freely go from one point in the Universe to another!

Combining our research into Warp technology, which essentially just uses a Fuck Huge amount of power to rip a hole in Time-Space, with the surprising developments into short range teleportation by an independent facility, as well as [insert favorite brand of gobbledygook], we will finally overcome the issue of getting spaghetified and/or transported into the center of a star!

Champagne for everyone!

All that's left is to fire up the miniature star reactors, crank the output to 400%, and bask in the applause!

"This is your Captain speaking. Hello everyone! I'm excited! Fire it up! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

With the message clear, the crew continued to do what they were doing. You know, following procedure and guidelines, of which there were, admittedly, less than normal given this is the first full test of this nature. it'll be fine. They said igniting a miniature star inside a reactor would blow up the whole planet, but it only took out a 200km chunk of it once, not that big a deal.

The energetic smile and tense grip of the railings Knoslark held on to for the subsequent forty minutes without letting up for a single second. It kinda got a little creepy, but the crew will never drop their poker face in front of him. They won't give him that victory.

Anyway. Again. The final step of the sequence has finally arrived and all that's left to do is for Knoslark to push the big red button on his data pad. Which he did immediately and with the most dramatically long winded motion his body could produce - swinging his whole arm from the back, over his head, and stopping just before slamming the button with his fist to gently extend his pinky finger to lightly tap on the button.

A brilliant black light in a perfect sphere engulfed the whole ship and then they were gone.

Immediately afterwards, just slightly above the surface of an unknown planet in orbit of an uncharted system in a galaxy that has a grand total of two entries across all databases. It's name - TPSC-SY398-2250074, and age relative to what the Milky Way can see - 1.8 billion years. None of that matters.

What does matter is that this planet has a new crater with a stupidly huge piece of junk lying in the middle of it. Mostly intact. Actually, who am I kidding, it's our well known Human engineering we're talking about here, the only problem is that it crashed sideways and a few fires sprung up, no worse than an overly exciting game night turned drinking party.

"Well, that was unexpected. Everyone good? Can we upright The Dusk?" Knoslark inquired right after climbing his way out of a pile of chairs, loose equipment, and three crewmen. Sergeant Ying Zhao emerged from from behind him, dusted off, relocated his shoulder, and grunted. "Seems so. Engineering - what's your status?"

"Minor leakage of non-essentials, two reactors stopped purring, could use a nap, don't let the captain say it and we'll be good." replied Chief Engineer Ira Tameki over the comms. "Negative, Ira, he's got the look already." "Groan for the two of us then." "Roger that." "Not you too..." "Sorry."

As the reports of minor damage, light injuries, and general mess came in, Captain Knoslark was pleased with the results.

"Excellent work everyone. Everyone's alive and The Dusk still works. You know as they say - another happy landing!" Knoslark said, with a big dumb grin.

"So anyway, where are we?"

Continues->

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

For your newest make me write. Im in a huge complete supernatural/fantasy like AU mood here recently so my requests are going to be towards that this week. Also both of them are supposed to be 15 emojis apiece so can we pretend they are if they are not? (Kinda sorry about all the zombies…but feel free to sub everything to vampires or another WIP if you want)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(Im so ready for the Maddie/Buck reunion and ensuing shenanigans. I think by the time you get to to this that the new chapter *may* be out that goes over that. But im also enjoying other aspects of the story as well. I very rarely read bathena start fics so their relationship developing is exciting for me to see as well).

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸 🩸(Spoilery for those not caught up BUT OMG BUCK WHAT DID YOU DO?!?! I was not ready for that!)

Woohoo 90 total sentences for monster fics!

45 for 🧟 (THANK YOU!!!):

---

 “Just… Be careful.”

Chim thinks he probably should listen to her. But he also knows he likely won’t. 

▪️▪️▪️

If anything, Chim gets worse. And that might be problematic if his feelings were one-sided, but after dinner, it becomes more or less obvious that they are not.

They do dishes together. A chore Chim usually finds tiresome, but now is somehow fun. Christopher and Denny have already begged Maddie, Hen, and Karen to have a sleepover together. Something Chim finds somewhat redundant, seeing as every day forever is a sleepover here. But Chris wants to sleep in Denny’s room. 

“Please,” Karen had insisted when Maddie had asked if they were sure it was okay. “He finally gets to have friends his own age. Chris can have as many sleepovers as he wants.”

So Maddie is off kid duty tonight. 

“Other than movie night,” she asks as they’re finishing up with dishes. “What is there to do around here in the evenings?”

“You got something against movie night?” Chim teases.

“No!” Maddie insists. “Just exploring my options.”

“Well, there are games,” Chim says. But then he has another thought. “Or the roof.”

“The roof?” Maddie asks. 

“Yeah. We’ve got chairs up there. We can steal your brother’s stereo. It’s great for looking at the stars. Now that the light pollution is gone.” 

Chim wonders if this is too weird. Too forward. Too intimate. Too much like a date, if the world was normal enough to afford dates. Actually, scratch that. He knows Hen has set up a date for Karen up there, under the stars. On their wedding anniversary. God, what is he doing?

“That sounds really nice,” Maddie says. “Would you… Would you want to do that with me?”

God, obviously.

“I’d like that, yeah.”

---

45 for 🩸 (Buck's gonna Buck!)

---

“Neither am I,” Eddie says. “Okay?”

Buck nods, still a little weepy. 

“Okay.”

💧💧💧

As tired as he is, Buck can’t really sleep for very long periods. A wound to his front and a wound to his back means nothing is comfortable. Eddie helps set him up on an assortment of pillows to prop him in just the right position, but it’s still a more or less futile effort. He manages to get a little bit of rest when his pain medication sets in, but otherwise, he’s awake and uncomfortable. 

Brought down to reality by his conversation, Buck really gets a chance to think through what he’d nearly done. Not the killing part - which he’d been more focused on before - but the dying part. And the more he thinks about it, the more he thinks about just how right Eddie was. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want their life together to be over just as it finally started.

He really let that compulsive need to fix everything almost get him killed. Maddie was right. He needs to deal with this properly. This pit of dread that lives in his chest that says he is going to lose everything horribly. That says life will never be safe again. He needs to address that head on, and not by trying to be one step ahead of every possible danger. He needs to go back to therapy. He will, he decides. The minute he’s physically up to it.

“I’m sorry,” Buck says again, later that night, when everyone is sleeping and Buck is laying awake beside Eddie. He knows he’s probably going to be saying it for a long time. 

Eddie blinks awake. “Hmm?”

“I’m sorry,” Buck repeats. 

“For waking me up?” 

“No, for everything.”

Eddie sighs. “I forgive you. I’ve already forgiven you.”

“But I’m still sorry.” 

“Buck,” Eddie complains. “Don’t do this. This doesn’t help. Believe me, I know.”

“I’m going to go to therapy,” Buck says. 

“That’s a good idea,” Eddie says. “We could both use therapy. Do you think there are vampire therapists?”

“If there’s not, there should be,” Buck replies. “They’d have the corner on the market right now.”

“Exactly,” Eddie says. “And surely some shrink out there got bit?”

[jackoshadows]

@blankwhiteshield I thought I would respond in a separate post since I don't want to derail from @fromtheseventhhell's OG post about something else. You responded to my comment here by saying that I was 'entirely wrong' and linking to an essay on Jaime Lannister and I did try to read through all that to get a gist of your explanation.

First I want to mention that Rhaegar being a pre-asoiaf/background/tertiary character means we don't know a lot about him. I can only speculate as to his thoughts and motives and why he did what he did.

I wrote that comment because the absolute hypocrisy of Jaime Lannister apologists/Braime shippers critiquing Rhaegar grinds my gears something fierce. And I am not even a Rhaegar fan - he's a character that there's to set other characters on their journey and to set the story.

The consequences of Jaime's incestual adultery was the spark that lead to the WOT5K that two years on is still ongoing with no stability in war torn Westeros. Jaime Lannister attempts to murder a little child because he can't keep it in his pants for the short duration they are visiting the Starks. Jaime was hunting down a 9 year old to cut off her hand. That poll about Rhaegar being a bad father when Jaime refers to Joffrey as semen in Cersei's cunt is a farce.

Hence my comment.

Now, let's start with Jaime being Aerys' hostage. Yes, Aerys used Jaime against Tywin. However, why was Jaime in the Kingsguard (KG) in the first place? He was Tywin's golden child and heir to Casterly Rock, unlike Cersei and Tyrion having no value for Tywin because she is a girl and he is disabled.

Aerys had no power over Jaime until he chose to join the KG to serve the Mad King. Jaime had more choice than the 14 year old bastard Jon Snow who had to leave Winterfell and the NW is pretty much the only option available to him. He had more choice than his sister Cersei. He had more choice than disabled Tyrion getting physically/sexually abused by his own family.

So why did Jaime decide to join the KG? So that he could be close to Cersei and sleep with her. Jaime joins the KG knowing that he was going to break the KG oaths of celibacy. He didn't care about oaths when joining the KG , right?

This is why Jaime's entire spiel about oaths never had any emotional weight for me, coming from a character who had no value for oaths in the first place and who had no intention of upholding his sworn oaths when he joined the KG.

I can understand a character like Jon Snow's angst and conflict when he is forced to sleep with Ygritte or when he has to choose between the NW and saving his sister, because oaths are important to Jon Snow. Oaths and honor is important to someone like Ned Stark. Jaime? Considering his total disrespect for the KG oaths when he joins them to simply be close to Cersei, I don't get it.

Next, Rhaegar's conversation with Jaime.

Why do you assume here that Jaime was scared of Aerys and asking Rhaegar to save/rescue him from Aerys? I mean, Jaime was KG. At 13 he won his first melee. At 15 he was defeating other skilled swordsmen.

It could just as well be Jaime eager to fight with Rhaegar in battle and asking that Rhaegar leave behind the older KG like Darry to instead guard the king because the battle is where the fight is. Jaime thinks that guarding someone is not as exciting as fighting in battle. It's even right there in the next sentence when Jaime gets angry about being referred to as a crutch and he's like ' I AM A KINGSGUARD'.

We see something similar when Jon begs his uncle to take him for ranging.

Three days after their arrival, Jon had heard that Benjen Stark was to lead a half-dozen men on a ranging into the haunted forest. That night he sought out his uncle in the great timbered common hall and pleaded to go with him. Benjen refused him curtly. - Jon, AGoT

There's also not much Rhaegar can probably do at that point (speculating here) - facing war/battle - about his volatile, angry father, the King. There are all these essays about the effect that Tywin had on Jaime... imagine the burden of being the Mad King's son. What power does Rhaegar have to take away the King's choice of KG? Rhaegar didn't even have the power to send his own wife and children elsewhere. Him actively interfering was only going to further anger a king who was already paranoid about the crown prince. Hence the 'I dare not take away that crutch from him at such a hour'.

I think you also mention that Jaime was terrified of being executed as an hostage - is this mentioned anywhere in the books or are you just assuming/speculating on his thought process here?

Jon Snow is elected Lord Commander of the Night's Watch at 16. In Westeros 16 is considered a man grown and Jaime is an adult by Westerosi standards and Rhaegar certainly didn't see him as some kind of child hostage like that post deliberately twisted it into.

A boy in Westeros is considered to be a "man grown" at sixteen years. The same is true for girls. Sixteen is the age of legal majority, as twenty-one is for us.

At any rate, Rhaegar and Jaime's fellow KG expected the KG left behind in KL - Jaime Lannister - to do his job and protect the crown prince's wife and babies as per sworn oaths.

In which Jaime fails because while his father's men, including the Mountain, were scaling the walls to rape and murder Elia and her babies, Jaime was lounging on the throne waiting for one of the rebels to get there. And hence his guilt when confronted by ghosts of his past in his weirwood dreams.

You have written a lot on how Jaime could not have known about what Tywin's men would do. I mean, why is he waiting around to find out what they would do?! Sorry, these are piss poor excuses and even Jaime Lannister himself doesn't really believe this because he knows that he should have immediately gone to their side after the King was dead as his ghosts tell him.

Jaime knows his father. He knows what Tywin is capable of. He was there for what Tywin did to Tysha. KL was even then being raped and pillaged. And he thought nothing would happen to the Targaryen princess and her children?

The Mad King was dead - literally backstabbed by the hostage. What should this skilled Kingsguard do next? Immediately go to Elia and the babies to protect Rhaegar's family as Rhaegar entrusted him to do or sit on the Throne waiting for someone to come there? We know what Jaime chose to do:

'Then he climbed the Iron Throne and seated himself with his sword across his knees to see who would come to claim the kingdom. As it happened, it had been Eddard Stark'.

This is what is given to us in the books. Nothing more, nothing else. You can add to this of course, but that would be speculative theorizing on what Jaime's thoughts and feelings are about all this, not what is actually given to us in the books.

[whentherewerebicycles]

How is motherhood (so far)? It seems like such a crazy shift from one life to another!

it is SO good so far!!! here are some scattered feelings & thoughts:

i have been warned that a big hormone crash is coming and i am sure that will be tough to weather! but right now i am feeling so good - still just riding that endorphin high. i feel physically good too, like tired and a little sore, but really way better than i expected to feel three days after giving birth.

my transition into parenthood has been majorly eased by the fact that my mom is here and is doing virtually all of the newborn care tasks for me right now - nighttime feedings (i take over around 5am but my hands are so bad in the night), diaper changes, tracking how much he's eating, making food, etc. she is even helping me breastfeed because it involves a level of manual dexterity i am not currently capable of most of the time. i am so so so so so so grateful to have her here. part of me feels kind of guilty, like i'm probably supposed to be feeling way more stressed out and overwhelmed trying to manage the cognitive and physical demands of new parenthood, but i am trying to quiet that voice in my brain by reminding myself that there are going to be PLENTY of times in the future where i'll get to feel overwhelmed and exhausted and in over my head as a single parent. she is so happy and so excited to do this for me, and i am trying to just let myself rest and enjoy it.

it is so special to do this with my mom. i was saying to her yesterday, like, i can totally see how taking care of a new baby with a partner would be a richly meaningful experience, and i can see that there are things i am missing out on on that front. but also if i were doing this with a partner i wouldn't get to be doing this with my mom, and i would be missing out on an experience that i am finding just as richly meaningful and rewarding. i feel so close to her and i love her so much and i know that for the rest of my life i am going to remember how special it was to get to watch her love owen so much and take such good care of him (and me) in his first days of life. i feel so lucky. i thought i would feel SO overwhelmed but instead i just feel really loved and taken care of, and i feel really close to my mom, and i feel like we are the happiest little family unit right now. i love it so much. also she calls him "my little guy" and “my best friend” and i almost cry every time. hormones but also love, you know.

owen is perfect. i feel like i felt intensely close to him right after the birth, and then i had kind of a hard first day after in the hospital where there were just TOO MANY PEOPLE coming in at all hours and doing exams on me or on him, and there was no time to rest and bond with him, and i started feeling very overwhelmed and kinda like do i even KNOW this baby? this baby is a STRANGER to me and if i hadn't had a baby i would be at HOME right now in my own SPACE without anyone coming in every 15 min day and night to bother me. that first long hospital day was really rough and then i was relieved to finally get home that night but also super cranky and tired, and i couldn't figure out how to get my pump to work, and he got very fussy in the night and i was like AAAAAAA. but then we spent all of yesterday doing so much skin-to-skin cuddling and napping in bed which is just the nicest thing imaginable, and now i am like this is my BABY he is PERFECT look at him!!!! he is so snuggly and good.

i am glad that my brother had a newborn a couple months before i did because i think it helped prepare me for how gently boring the newborn stage can be lol. not in a bad way! it's so sweet and i think will involve lots of wonderful sleepy snuggling!! but they are awake so infrequently and do not have personalities yet, and you are kind of like hm. should more be happening, or...? but no. nothing more should be happening lol they will just be sweet sleepy lumps for a good long time. my nephew is nine? ten? weeks old now and is definitely starting to become way more alert/engaged, so i know a personality is coming haha and i will just enjoy my little sweet lump right now because he won't be like this ever again!! also it's nice to be able to just let him sleep next to me while i do other stuff. i think it will ease the transition a bit... like yes now we are on this endless cycle of pumping, attempting to breastfeed, bottlefeeding him, changing him, watching him sleep, pumping again, etc but i can read or watch stuff in between because he requires so little attention while sleeping (except for LOTS OF KISSES he requires LOTS OF LITTLE KISSES because he is so SWEET!!!!). also idk i am sure i will get bored of being off work but right now it has been so restful to delete outlook & teams from my phone and just be like who cares about weird office politics i have way more important things to do like kiss a sleeping baby on the forehead a hundred times and tell him he is the best and handsomest boy in the whole world. life is very good lol.

[bitchslapblastoids]

Can I ask how much you talk to your partner about Dan and Phil and how do you talk about them? As someone who is not/has not been in a serious relationship, I find it hard to imagine how I would talk to someone about this, given my level of obsession. I don’t even really talk to friends about it. Like, do you talk about fic? Do you show your partner their videos? How did/will you bring up Iceland?

You don’t have to answer this if it’s too personal- totally get it! I’m honestly just so curious when I see phannies talk about their partners who aren’t also phannies.

Hi I actually really love this question bc it’s def something I think about fairly often, bc the tension is real. I am openly thirsting over these men, I have a real life partner, I share a life with him, but I also spend like a third of my life online thinking about the lives of these two dudes….it’s a thing. Just a heads up, my answer got really long.

My partner pretty fundamentally doesn’t get Dan and Phil’s whole thing, so I don’t show him vids or talk much about specific goings-on in the d&p landscape, bc it’s just a bummer to try and articulate or share something knowing it ain’t gonna land, lol. Even trying to explain the tour each time I came home from it all giddy made me feel like language was a hindrance and an impossible barrier to surmount. It’s just so hard to explain d&p’s brilliance when you don’t have some basis of common knowledge to draw on. It’s also hard to make someone else get the inherent appeal of two people’s chemistry and connection if they aren’t inclined to gaf about that kind of thing.

But he does know pretty much the full extent of my whole thing going on here lol. He’s seen my blog, sometimes I show him a post if I’m particularly proud of it/think it’s especially funny, I’ll talk to him about mutuals I’m chatting with sometimes or things happening on here that are specific to and exciting for me…basically I’m deeply uncool about it all. And yeah he knows about my fic (he hasn’t read any and I hope to god he never will, but i talk to him about broad strokes of plot in my longer fics, and he knows i write smut as well). I’m around him all the time when im writing so it’d be a pretty massive thing to hide, plus the process of writing/publishing Bowl of Oranges and its reception was sooooooo meaningful and giddying for me, so it was kind of all I could talk about for a bit there. He was/is wonderfully supportive and is happy that I’m writing and putting stuff out there.

i talked to him about Iceland the other week when i was close to impulse buying a ticket after the tysons shows, and he was down! If i follow through with booking a flight and hotel, he would come (not to TIT just to Iceland) and we’d just make a mini trip out of it. He’s used to me spending dumb amounts on concerts and we’re still fairly independent with our finances, so the money stuff isn’t an issue.

We’ve known each other for so so so long so he really understands my obsessive personality. We’re both quite strange and atypical in our own ways and I think have learned how to grow around eachother’s oddities and be patient and curious with one another rather than judgmental.

There are times I worry about my screen time and that I’m becoming too entrenched in fandom world at the expense of physical world, and i think at times I can neglect nurturing my relationship with him/all kinds of other components of life, bc the dopamine of phannie tumblr is a powerful fucking drug. So i try and be mindful of that. Definitely something im still working on.

To be completely honest about another tricky thing - I have definitely gotten stuck in a comparison trap before, of wishing that my connection and communication with my partner was as inherently easy and joyful and silly and immediate and Dan and Phil’s seems to be. My partner and I have many different interests, so while there are tons of things we connect over, there are also tons of things we can’t really share in the joy of experiencing with one another, and sometimes I’ve held Dan and Phil up as this paragon of love in comparison, feeling salty that I didn’t have what they have. I’ve gotten over that though, bc it’s definitely on the harmful side of parasocial; we only see some of their time and lives and they obviously have differences and disagreements too, and differences are good. And to be frank, will I ever have what they have (someone you grow up with and share 99% of your interests with and can share every dimension of your life with and not burn out on their company)? Of course not. I do think it’s pretty remarkable and special and I think most people in life won’t. And that’s ok because I also feel deeply fortunate to be with the person I’m with and I choose him year after year.

To touch on an elephant in the room - telling him I write smut fic was the thing I put off the longest bc I was scared/embarassed/felt kind of guilty about it all. And then I did and it was literally so fine. Idk, he’s great and I’m very lucky. I do have to be rly mindful of how the fantasy of it can impact my sexual desire. I spend a fair amount of time thinking about Dan and Phil’s life and relationship and, let’s be honest, sex life, and so shaking myself out of that and remembering to be embodied in myself and my relationship and my sexual partner can be a challenge. This feels weird and pretty vulnerable to talk about on here bc it kind of lays bare how you really can’t just compartmentalize this shit to one tidy section of your time and brain. but I can’t imagine other people don’t also find themselves in a similar position.

In sum, I do have a hard time with balance in life, and this is all something i think I’ll always be working on finding better balance with. But it’s not hurting anyone, it’s not rly hurting me, and it’s brought a lot of joy and creativity and connection to my life, so I try not to be hard on myself about it! I’m also deeply fortunate to have a partner who gets me and accepts me and is wholly nonjudgmental.

I’d rather die than anyone else in my life see this blog though. I have a couple friends who know I write fic and have a tumblr, but only the ones who I know are also into fandoms of their own and therefore get it. I’d reeeeeeally rather die than anyone I know irl see my ao3 that’d truly be the end. 🙃🙃🙃

Ok thank you for the question clearly I have a lot to say!!!!!

[infinitelycynical]

(apologies if you get this ask twice, tumblr's being weird) What are your favorite aizamatsu headcanons?

i did get it twice, but that's okay!!! oh anon, i have been waiting my entire tumblr career for an ask like this you have no fucking idea i am so excited! let's go!:

they either start dating during the timeskip, in 2008 (following manga timeline here), or post-canon. i think they need time to first develop an actual relationship then develop the feelings tbh

the romantic feelings didn't come around fast for either of them, especially not aizawa. it's something which grew slowly over time as they got to know one another and began to appreciate one another. aizawa very likely knew he was in love when he realised that he now finds matsuda's more annoying traits endearing.

their bickering is top tier - it is loud, it is annoying to everyone else around them, it is fast. they have always bickered like a married couple even before they started dating. they left a lot of their original dynamic behind after a long while of dating but the way they banter is something that has always stayed

matsuda is 100% into PDA while aizawa is 0% into it, but in private, aizawa doesn't mind matsuda's clinginess at all.

they have their differences in personality, but what allows them to stay together is what they value, which is actually quite similar. both are very loyal and honest people, they also value that in one another as a result. they're also both passionate, and though they're tip-toeing around how their relationship changes to a romantic one, they are both eager to do things right.

aizawa cooks for the most part, but matsuda sometimes makes breakfast. they're both busy so they eat a lot more takeout than they should really

matsuda's love language (way of giving love, in this case) is physical touch and aizawa's is acts of service.

hikari by hikaru utada is a song i always about them to, the english version simple and clean is also very good

in my mind, matsuda has adhd. he struggles to do chores which leads to the apartment being messy, but aizawa helps out with this. before aizawa moves in, sometimes when he comes over he'll just do the laundry or the dishes. matsuda is at first very charmed but very embarrassed and apologises for the apartment being in the state that it is. aizawa doesn't understand why matsuda struggles with doing things like this, but soon sees that it is causing him distress that they're not done, so decides the least he can do is help out.

matsuda also likes to wear aizawa's coats because they're too big for him, very warm, and they smell like aizawa. aizawa does a total of zero (0) things to stop this.

they have movie nights in which they alternate who picks the movie, because if matsuda always picked they would only watch romcoms and if aizawa picked they would only watch horror or action or some shit. aizawa likes only one romance movie and hates the rest, matsuda thinks it is the funniest thing.

when they sleep, aizawa is dead still and snores loudly. matsuda hogs the blankets.

i can see their relationship lasting for a lifetime, but it takes a lot of hard work to get there. a lot of uncomfortable conversations and communication

aizawa refuses to let matsuda rot after the kira case. post-kira, matsuda becomes very depressed. i have my own assorted headcanons about how they are during the first year or two of post-kira, but this post is becomng too long so i won't elaborate

ik you said only favourite ones but i decided to just type a bunch i liked because i've been gatekeeping these for far too long. some of these are inspired by my wip i have for them and other things are just things that play on my head on repeat

thank you so much for the ask, i truly enjoyed writing these all out 💞