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syubub · 4 years ago

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2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

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jungle321jungle · 3 years ago

Text

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

The published letters that detail the romance that changed the kingdom.

~~~~

Aka Roman and Janus send each other letters

Taglist: @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar @why-do-you-care @hogwarts-my-love

Ao3 - Masterlist

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

September 18th

I received the gift you sent with your previous letter, and I wanted to ensure I thanked you for it- despite how bold it was. But I suppose that has always been something I liked about you- even if my heart very nearly stopped when Mother asked who the flowers and watch had come from. I was forced to give her the flowers (but I kept the watch for myself) after telling her it came from a businessman I work with (I am blessed that she didn’t ask which of them it was). Though I was disappointed to give up the flowers. I don’t even remember mentioning my favorite flowers and yet you knew anyways. Are you using your power for useless things again? I hope not, you have enough on your plate as it is without worrying about what I like and dislike. But if it truly crosses your mind do know that what I like are your letters and the rare moments we spend together.

But enough about that, more importantly I will be aiding my father this year so I too will get the pleasure of attending the New Year’s Ball. I hope when I arrive you can finally show me the spot you’ve described with the view of the whole city.

~~~~

September 23rd

I am glad my present to you was received well. As to your comment regarding whether or not I was using my power correctly, all I must say is that if it is my power I shall use it as I please. If that happens to be to determine your favorite flowers so be it, my servants are paid accordingly. Also, once I get more power laws change and I get you- so I truly see no downside.

I cannot wait until you get here, I will show you all my favorite spots here to view the scenery and my favorite places in town to shop and eat. We’ll need to think of an excuse for why we spend so much time together though, but we have the time to work out a story.

Speaking of, with this letter I am sending you a book. It’s one I just found by chance and I fell in love with instantly, I’m sure you’ll do the same. Be sure to send me your thoughts when you finish.

~~~~

October 17th

You are utterly horrific. Sending me a book that plays with my emotions like that. I wouldn’t have gotten so invested if I just knew she was going to die like that! Not even from her disease but from an assassin that’s horrible. Just horrible.

I stayed up to finish the last few chapters and now it’s late and I’m crying, but I don’t want the maids to hear. You��re horrible. And to prove it I’m sending you a book.

~~~~

November 2nd

I truly am dastardly aren't I? I laughed a lot at your letter, it was the exact response I was expecting. You never disappoint dearest. As for the book you sent me I unfortunately am yet to open it. I wasn’t planning on sending this letter until completing it, but things have gone bleak in terms of negotiations. I’ve been spending all my time locked in my office taking over my father’s daily work in addition to my own while he tries to calm things with the other delegations. At present I should actually be overlooking some documents, but I feel if I do I will truly lose my mind.

I miss you.

I know that if you were just here sitting beside me I would instantly feel energized.

At least the ball is next month.

~~~~

November 4th

I doubt you have even received my last letter as I write this, but I must tell you to withhold sending other letters. I’m not entirely sure why, but Father is suspicious of something and is having mail checked.

I’ll send word when the coast is clear.

~~~~

December 22nd

My father has found whatever it is he is looking for, so we should be fine now. But that did take longer than I thought. So much has happened in the last few weeks.

Mother’s sudden illness, and sister’s broken engagement, not to mention that the countries on either side of us have declared war and both are begging for us to pick a side. It’s beyond tiring. Father still insists upon holding the ball though, so I’ll see you then. I wonder if this letter will even reach you before you depart for the capital.

I hope I’ll have the time to show you around as I promised.

~~~~

December 27th

I was about to respond to your first letter when the second arrived. You must’ve sent one of your fastest messengers. As for your third and most recent letter I received it just before climbing in the carriage. We are staying in the Barony tonight, which is where I write this letter from. But I will wait to have it sent to you until I reach the capital.

I too hope we can meet up during the festivities, at least for a minute and even better if that minute was spent alone so we can speak freely. But please, remember that you mustn't push yourself too hard.

~~~~

December 31st

There is a small balcony west of the ballroom and past the room where the ladies rest. It’s secluded. We can use our usual signal, I’ll meet you there.

~~~~

January 1st

I cannot describe how amazing it was to simply hug you again. And as I said before it was wonderful to see how your dancing had improved. I’m sorry that our time together was so short, I will send you word as soon as I know when I can slip out of the palace. Maybe, two nights from now I can try? That’s when the commoners set up an array of stalls with games and prizes. Would you like to go?

~~~~

January 2nd

Of course I want to go! We will go and I will beat you at every game! But I don't have any clothes that would help me blend in. Also, how do you intend to disguise yourself?

~~~~

January 3rd

With this letter are clothes for you to wear tonight. I’ll meet you outside the gates by the large willow about an hour after dinner. And as to your question, I will be wearing a blonde wig.

~~~~

January 4th

You cheated. That’s the only way you could have won so many games. I don't care that you said you didn’t, you most certainly did.

~~~~

January 5th

You are free to believe what you like.

For the closing ball tomorrow we can meet at the same spot as the first night. And I have a surprise for you.

~~~~

January 6th

I swear I didn’t know.

I am so sorry. I didn’t know, I saw you crying and run off and I’m sorry that I couldn’t run after you. I’m sorry. Can I come by so we can talk?

~~~~

January 8th

You’re leaving tomorrow right? Please respond so I can see you before you do.

~~~~

January 9th

I understand you’re mad at me, and I won’t even ask you not to be. But I will ask that you at least try understand the position I am in.

And I hope you travel safely home.

~~~~

January 16th

Did you really not know?

~~~~

January 19th

I didn’t. My father sprung it on me, the same way he did to every party guest. He didn’t even tell me which nation he was leading towards in terms of support, much less this.

~~~~

January 22nd

Will you marry her?

~~~~

January 25th

I don’t want her. I want and I love you.

~~~~

January 28th

That’s not what I asked. I asked if you will follow through with the engagement.

~~~~

January 31st

I don’t have a choice. I thought I could spend more time living as the Crown Prince before I could reject the role and leave the crown to my brother. I thought I could do that if my parents ever brought up marriage- but this is more than a marriage. It’s war.

If I don’t marry the Delphine our trade routes are shut off- and since we already cut ties with the empire by my father announcing the engagement. If I reject this for you, I put the whole kingdom at risk. I… I don’t know if I can do that.

~~~~

February 4th

Surely there’s another way! Why can’t she just marry your brother?

~~~~

February 10th

Do you truly think I haven’t looked for one? My hands are tied. The only possible thing I could do to even have you near me is to bring you here as an advisor or the like when the time comes. I can find a way if it’s that.

~~~~

February 14th

No. I will not stand to the side just watch as you dance and hold hands with her for the public’s morale. I would rather die than that.

~~~~

February 19th

Please don’t be so dramatic. I am trying all I can think of in between my hectic schedule. But if you truly don’t like my efforts tell me, do you have any brilliant ideas?

~~~~

February 25th

Don’t mock me, Your Highness. You’re not the one who has had his heart stepped on repeatedly. You’ve been making me promises for years- am I not allowed to be upset when I find out that they’re hollow?

~~~~

March 2nd

You’re unbelievable. Feel free to sulk all you wish, meanwhile I need to continue my regular duties, prepare a wedding, and prepare for war.

~~~~

March 5th

War? I thought our kingdom was just to supply aid.

~~~~

March 8th

I’m getting married to the daughter of a nation who declared war upon the empire. Of course war will come to our borders as well.

~~~~

March 23rd

Father got the invitation to the wedding this morning. I wanted to tear it to shreds. Have you truly thought of nothing yet? Something other than me working for you?

~~~~

March 29th

I’m sorry to say I haven’t. In the months since the ball and start of the war I haven’t gotten anywhere with my Father- and Mother’s decline isn’t helping.

~~~~

April 1st

What? I had heard she was getting better?

~~~~

April 6th

That’s just the rumor I spread to redirect attention. She’s getting worse if anything.

~~~~

April 10th

I am so sorry.

~~~~

August 12th

It’s been a long time since my last letter, I’m not sure how many months. I guess I should follow custom and congratulate you on the wedding even if I am late. You at least looked very nice on your wedding day. You’ve truly perfected that fake smile.

I’m sorry for how I acted when I heard about your engagement. I know you didn’t want this either. And I know it’s late for this, but I’ll come work for you if that’s what it takes. The more I try to pretend that I don’t love you- the harder it gets- and the more it hurts.

~~~~

August 17th

Lord Roman Regis,

Please do not waste my time and deny that you are the author of the letter I just read. I intend to keep this letter brief. I do not wish to know what kind of relationship you have with my husband, but I must request that it ceases. My husband serves as a figure to both nations, and he cannot have anyone dragging him down. Especially not someone of a lower stature.

If you contact him again, there will be consequences.

Crown Princess Delphine Ekans

~~~~

August 22nd

Crown Princess,

Your Highness I apologize for any misunderstandings I may have caused, but please speak to Janus. I’m sure he will explain everything.

Lord Roman Regis

~~~~

August 26th

Lord Roman Regis,

To think a measly count’s son can not only tell me what to do, but he can be bold enough to refer to my husband without a title. I already asked you not to drag my husband down, and by doing so you have disregarded my warning.

Do remember that you have brought this upon yourself Lord Roman.

Crown Princess Delphine Ekans

~~~~

September 5th,

Ro,

You know all those times I told you to just get out there and just love the prince if you actually love him? Well this is not what I meant. I mean like you should speed up that “perfect” plan you two always talked about, not that you should wait so long that he got married. And definitely not so long that his wife outed your “despicable crush on the married crown prince”- however I can say that the papers are currently god tier with gossip. I have been asked for interviews like four times and I love it. Oh and have some faith in me, I didn’t talk to them- for long.

Anyway, lover boy should be able to help you out of this, right?

The better you,

Remus

~~~~

September 10th,

Remus,

Sometimes I hate you, and then when I remember we shared a womb I hate you even more. But even so, I thank you for being the one “calm” person about this. Mother and Father (mainly Mother) have been up in arms about how big of a disgrace I am, and just about every noble in the kingdom is in agreement. It doesn't matter that just about every unmarried woman pines after the Crown Prince even after he got married, because when a man does it- because that Witch known as the Crown Princess publishes my letter- I’m somehow a deviant.

I haven’t left the manor since word got out. And I am just flooded with letters from friends and other nobles, but truthfully I am too scared to read them. Maybe I’ll have a trusted maid read them and pick out the kind ones, but I am not sure.

I have no clue what is going on with Janus at the moment. I am yet to receive anything from him- most likely due to the Crown Princess’ interference. I wish I could know what was happening behind the palace doors... I truly do.

This is why I just wanted to run off to somewhere else, but Janus was confident he could change the laws for us and then we could go live quietly somewhere... I wish things were that simple.

I rather not discuss this anymore truthfully. I'd like to have a normal conversation again. So tell me, do you have any stories to tell of your travels? Reading them would prove far more interesting than anything here.

The best twin,

Roman

~~~~

September 18th,

Remus,

Given I am yet to receive a response from you, so I assume you are on the move once more, but I thought I should send you an update letter before you hear the filtered version from word of mouth.

I am currently being escorted to the palace. I know some will think I am to get some sort of punishment, but Janus sent one of the guards with a verbal message that he is handling this in his own way. I have no choice but to place my trust in him. Mother was still worried about it, Father interestingly seemed to be rooting for me but we didn’t get to talk more about it. But I know I will see Janus soon and that thought comforts me. Even though I know his wife will be close behind.

I’ll keep you updated on what transpires. But I still expect traveling stories. Like honestly, what was the point of you joining the navy if I don't get to read any seafaring adventures? You aren’t fighting in the war so surely there must be pirates or something? Or some stories about sirens and other such creatures? I want to read them all.

And in return you can have me as your wonderful twin.

The twin that matters,

Roman

~~~~

September 21st

Roman,

It almost seems strange to be able to address you by your name in a letter, but I like it all the same. I am very sorry for my silence and for Delphine’s actions. The former was a result of a few things: the first being my traveling to the battle front. I'm sorry I did not tell you prior to leaving, I did not want you to worry, but... I spent some time in battle. I was on my way back when your letter reached the palace and Delphine had taken it before I knew it even existed. Then upon my return I was busy dealing with Mother’s health and my war reports- I had intended to write other excuses here but truthfully I was scared of your reaction. I was scared that you would have just given up on me- on us. I had written and thrown away over 20 letters that I started without finishing before Delphine handed me a paper with a letter I had never seen published on the front page.

We had a long argument, about her not having the right to do such a thing to a “friend” of mine. It took a lot of time to cool things down and convince everyone to allow you to come here. Your father had sent me a letter saying he was worried for your safety, and that was enough to pull them to my side to bring you out of harm's way.

I am sorry I cannot currently go to see you, right now everyone believes I am just trying to clean up a mess that my wife blew way out of proportion and going to you would only start rumors. The knight who will deliver this letter- Virgil- can be trusted. He may huff and roll his eyes, but he does not pry and will not look at the contents of the letters. As he put it, he will only do the bare minimum of his job, and being curious and nosy takes too much energy. So you can send your letters through him. I swear I will figure something out.

In the meantime I hope your quarters are comfortable, let me know if they are not.

Yours,

Janus

~~~~

September 22nd,

Janus,

You are an absolute idiot. You went to war, without telling me? What if something had happened to you? Are you crazy? No of course you are. You’re absolutely insane- and I am so so glad that you are alright.

It has been strange being here in the palace, I don't often leave my room due to the looks servants give as I pass by, but my room is comfortable and Virgil makes good conversation. He certainly doesn’t have the demeanor of most knights which is enjoyable. Reminds me a bit of my twin in a way- but I think both would disagree.

Regardless, I have a request for you even though I know you will disagree. I wish to speak with the Crown Princess. I do not know how much you have told her, so I can keep things sounding one sided if you wish- but I want to speak to her. If you don't give an answer I like, I will simply write to her myself.

Roman

~~~~

September 22nd

Roman,

And you call me crazy. Why would you want to meet with the woman who ruined your life? You wrote in the same letter that even servants are scorning you- I will have Virgil report to me who they are so they can be fired immediately- and yet you wish to speak with her? I will not allow it.

Janus

~~~~

September 24th

Janus,

As you read this the Crown Princess should be receiving her letter as well. I kept it simple, just asking for tea with the promise of an apology. But before I schedule a time to meet with her, I want to know... do you like your wife?

Roman

~~~~

September 25th

Roman,

Delphine showed me the letter and she gave some unkind phrases to go with. I told her not to accept your invitation- but I think she wants to even more now. As to your question, I don’t know what I think of her. I hate what she has done to you, but I do not hate her (entirely) as a person. I admire the fact that she will go to great lengths to help her people, but I certainly do not like her. Or perhaps it’s better to say that I like her in the way one likes a business partner? Appreciating when they get the job done well, and hating when they don't. I am not sure if that answers your question, but I do not know how else to better phrase my thoughts.

Janus

~~~~

September 27th

Janus,

I met the Second Prince yesterday. He came to my room and chided me for not getting enough sunlight and fresh air, before he ordered me to accompany him to the gardens. He seems far too kind to be of royal blood. Oh, while he denies it I definitely say Virgil stealing glances at the Prince. It was quite adorable actually.

I am laughing to myself as I write this and he looks on, it is most amusing. Do tell you brother to visit again.

Roman

~~~~

September 28th

Roman,

Patton is definitely too pure for this palace, if he wasn’t the spitting image of father I would think he was illegitimate. As for him and Virgil... I rather not speculate, no one and I mean no one is good enough for Patton.

In more important news I will be accompanying Delphine to your tea tomorrow. At least for the beginning of it. Seeing you two together with my own eyes is the only way I can be sure someone won't attack the other.

I’ll see you then love.

Janus

~~~~

September 29th

Janus,

Since I am sure you are worried about what I and Crown Princess Delphine spoke of in your absence here is a few notes about what we discussed:

The fact that I have loved you since our academy days

That my feelings won't change no matter what she does

That I don't want anything negative to befall either country

She did not once ask about your thoughts or feelings, they seemed relevant to her

She doesn’t want me near you. She says it will ruin the reputation she is building

I do not know what this means for us, but at the very least I think I understand what you meant about having a business partner relationship.

Roman

~~~~

October 2nd

Roman,

Good to know your talk with her was for mostly nothing. She has more recently gone to my father about some scheme to boost morale and he seems to be on board. So she’s at least distracted for the time being.

In surprising news Mother wishes to meet you. She’s probably the one person who knows everything simply because she sees through every lie I tell. But thankfully she never questions me on the truth. You’ll receive an official invite from her soon.

Janus

~~~~

October 4th

Janus,

Your mother is one of the kindest people on the planet. She kept fretting over if I was okay, and meanwhile she is the one bedridden. And you were certainly right about her knowing the whole story, because it is clear she is rooting for us! She told me she just wants you to be happy, and marrying for love is something she wished you could do. She did also say she wanted to give the Crown Princess a “stern talking to”, and I think that would be hilarious to watch.

Roman

~~~~

October 14th 4th

Logan,

This year has been an absolute shitshow. Have you even heard what’ss going on? Because I haven’t heard a word fom you. But I suppose what else should I expect from the disaprearing count? I just want to marry for love and be done with the fucking war? Is that so bap? Delphine is making this hard, but I know she just wants things to be not war… it’s all so annoying. What should I do lo?

Your only friend,

Jans

~~~~

October 5th

Mother and Father,

I want you to know that despite all that has occurred I am well. I have gotten a chance to speak to the Crown Prince and Princess, and the Queen. Currently the Crown Prince intends to release rumors regarding the Duke’s family (which may or may not involve treason so please pull any assets out quickly) to stop the month long gossip about me. Once that happens, I am not sure if I will be staying here or returning home but I will let you know once I figure it out. Living in the palace certainly isn’t bad after all. The food is to die for. I may try to lengthen my stay just because of it. So don’t worry about me, worry about Remus who just sent me a letter detailing too many things about pirates that would make you cry in shame.

The lesser of two evils,

Roman

~~~~

October 8th

Crown Prince Janus Ekans,

I was quite surprised to get your letter and even more surprised by it’s contents. I have told you multiple times it is not becoming of a prince to send letters written in a drunken stupor.

Yes, I am well aware of the gossip in the capital that you have involved yourself in. But I saw no need to send you a letter of my own thoughts when I am not involved in your marital issues. If you were simply writing to me to rant and rave, then your letter was received. And I would like to say that I do have other friends.

Regardless, please expedite the report enclosed, it is part of our winter preparations.

Count Logan Ackroyd

~~~~

October 9th

Janus,

I went into town with Prince Patton (who gave me permission to call me by his name) and Virgil today. We went in disguise of course, but we got to go to a great many shops and try some good food. I bought you a present while we were out, but with the current circumstances I don’t believe I should send it with this letter. If you ever find the time to drop by my room please come and get it.

As we went about I couldn’t shake two thoughts from my mind, the first being that fall looks so different here in the capital, and the second was that it’s been nearly a year since we promised to do such things together. I still await the day where you show me your favorite spots.

I hope those times come soon.

Roman

~~~~

October 10th

Roman,

I too hope for the same, and I would love to see what it is you got me, but we have an obstacle at present. A few actually. While the war is finally moving in our favor, I fear that the Duke’s situation is less clear than I thought. In addition to that, Father wants you sent home to the county sooner than later. And if that’s not enough, Delphine wishes to speak with you before you leave- I will do my best to convince her otherwise. I’m not sure when they want your departure to be, I’m currently negotiating and thankfully Patton is on my side.

Janus

~~~~

October 11th

Ro,

So in my quest to find exciting stories for you I may or may have not taken a cutlass to the leg. It nearly got cut clean off! Or well that’s the story I’ll tell at least. Anyway, I’m gonna be home for a while so you should come visit your dearest twin. And as for get well presents there’s nothing better than basically all the sweets in the capital so I’ll take those please and thank you. Oh and buy me some of those racy novels you pretend you don’t read. Mother saw the word “tentacle” then burned mine.

Your horribly wounded and now sickly and pathetic twin,

Remus

~~~~

October 12th

Janus,

I heard from Prince Patton that there will be a party next week. He was asking me if I plan to go with him, and truthfully I’d like to, but I also don't want to undo anything either. What do you think?

Roman

~~~~

October 13th

Roman,

I’m afraid that your attendance will not be a good idea. But, I’ve heard sickness is floating around the palace. It would be truly tragic if I can’t attend. The greatest of tragedies.

Janus

~~~~

October 15th

Dearest Husband,

At least for the sake of appearances, can you pretend like you’re not missing your lover when we’re in public? It’s very nearly sickening.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

October 15th

Delphine,

I don’t believe I ever said he was my lover. Also if you want a conversation just come here. Thomas is a knight not a messenger.

Janus

~~~~

October 15th

Dearest Husband,

Sir Thomas shall be what I ask him to be. But on topic, if Lord Regis is not your lover then Queen Mother is in perfect health. If you’re going to ignore my and your kingdom’s wishes then at the very least be subtle. Please and thank you.

Oh and I will not be joining you for dinner, your sister asked me to dine with her.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

October 17th

Janus,

I’m afraid the party must wait (and for shame my meeting with the Crown Princess must wait as well). I have just received word that Remus was injured- not gravely though- so he is currently resting at home. I must return as soon as possible to rescue my parents from his madness. Well after I buy all the things the idiot requested.

Roman

~~~~

October 18th

Janus,

I love the jacket thank you so so so much. I’ll be sure to wear it the next time I see you, which will likely be the New Year’s Ball. I’ll write to you again as soon as I get home.

Roman

~~~~

October 21st

Janus,

I have just arrived and I already wish I had stayed in the palace. Mother is already talking about how lucky I am that despite the “scandal” she found a woman who would be willing to marry me. Maybe I’ll tell her to invite this poor girl over while Remus is here. Hopefully that scares her off.

Roman

~~~~

October 26th

Roman,

What do you think about eloping?

Janus

~~~~

November 1st

Janus,

You are aware of the fact that you’re married right? Also two men marrying isn't exactly legal. Also you know, the war?

Roman

~~~~

November 7th

Roman,

Trust me when I say the war will come to an end soon. And screw the laws and my wife. If I just kidnapped you, what would anyone really do?

Janus

~~~~

November 13th

Janus,

For starters I don’t think announcing kidnapping in a letter is the proper way to kidnap someone. Also I would like to point out that in the past years I always wanted to run away and you said no. Then a few months after I drop it you’re getting engaged.

Roman

~~~~

November 18th

Roman,

Virgil said the same thing. You two spent too much time together while you were here. And I’m a married man now. I’ve grown and I’ve changed. And running away sounds better and better.

Janus

~~~~

November 20th,

Logan,

If I said I wanted to elope with Roman to your domain what would you say?

Janus

~~~~

November 23rd

Janus,

You assigned him to be my guard of course we spent time together. Also I’ve been receiving letters from Prince Patton, he truly is a ray of sunshine. He told me that the Queen is doing better and I am elated to hear that. Please pass my well wishes to her.

Roman

~~~~

November 24th

Crown Prince Janus Ekans,

What would I say if you wanted to elope here? Well, I would remind you that you have responsibilities. While I do wish for your happiness do remember that the country lies on your shoulders as well. However if there was such a way that everything was sorted beforehand, then I would still say no.

Count Logan Ackroyd

~~~~

November 28th

Logan,

That’s unnecessarily rude. I will take your response as a positive one.

Janus

~~~~

December 4th

Dearest Husband,

I am apologizing in advance for what I must do. I did not anticipate such a situation, but the Duke has my hands tied. You know I will always do what I believe I must for the good of our nations, and to stop this war. I beg you to keep these thoughts in mind.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

December 4th

Lord Roman Regis,

I beg you to keep the crown standing tall despite everything. This is not your opportunity.

Delphine

~~~~

December 10th

Janus,

Is it true what everyone’s saying? That the Crown Princess is going to be charged for treason? Was that why she sent me a strange letter?

Roman

~~~~

December 15th

Roman,

She sent you one too? And yes I’m afraid it’s true… but I don’t think that’s how it started. I was aware of the fact she was working with the duke to supply troops using her knowledge of how both armies could work together, I truthfully think he took advantage of her. But her name is on some of the documents which can be read negatively.

I apologize in advance for my lack of responsiveness and attention to you. For now I need to convince Father not to execute Delphine and others in her position. This is all truly at the worst timing, we were in the midst of discussion to end this whole war.

At the very least I’ll see you come the New Years Ball.

Janus

~~~~

December 29th

Roman,

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long, love but I think I have things sorted. At the ball my Father intends to announce the annulment of my marriage- claiming that Delphine unfairly used me. That’s not true of course, but it’s the best way for us to keep her here as a “hostage” and to withdraw our support in this war and try to reclaim a more neutral stance. At least outwardly, things are always more complicated when you look closer.

But with the war coming to a true end, and the end of my marriage, perhaps it’s time I take ‘crown’ out of my title? Patton would certainly be a better face to be out there right now as we try to maintain the rockiest of peaces. And once he takes over maybe I’ll just have to vanish in plain sight. I know a certain count who would take us in without complaint.

We can speak on it more at the banquet, I’ll meet you in the same spot as last year. We can use the same signals.

Janus

~~~~

January 2nd

Janus,

I have spent the past day thinking over the words you told me. I'll admit when I received your most recent letter, I took your words to be akin to wishful thinking. But now after hearing all the plans you made for us, this sounds like something we can really do. My heart beats faster at the thought.

Running away with the Crown Prince, it sounds like a novel doesn’t it? If we were to leave, when would we go?

Roman

~~~~

January 3rd

Roman,

Ideally I’d like to leave as soon as the snow melts, but diplomacy is known to take it’s time.

Janus

~~~~

January 4th

Janus,

I’m ready when you are. Just give me some notice to pack up my things at home and to write a letter that will make my mother sob when she realizes that she can’t marry me off for a reverse dowry. Yes, I know such a thing doesn’t exist, but I’m not sure she does.

Also I spent today with Prince Patton and Virgil and my stance has not changed.

Roman

~~~~

Roman,

Do me a favor and keep your fucking mouth shut? I don’t need Prince Janus interrogating me anymore.

-V

~~~~

January 8th

Janus,

Virgil left a note on my bed last night saying in not so nice words that I ratted him out to you. I take it I was right! You need to speak with your brother then we can be official cupids.

Also I’m leaving today, so make sure your next letter goes to my home.

Roman

~~~~

January 13th

Roman,

I will do no such thing. No one on this planet is good enough for Patton.

Janus

~~~~

January 28th

Logan,

You have till March to prepare our rooms. No, I won’t be telling you my arrival date.

Janus

~~~~

January 30th

Janus,

I don’t know if I ever told you, but I’ve kept every single letter you’ve sent me. The good, the bad, and the pointless ones. I’ve kept them all in a box in my wardrobe and my maids know not to touch them. I think I’ll take the box with me when we run.

Roman

~~~~

February 2nd

Roman,

The Prince is being weirder than usual and is fretting over little stuff and he keeps mumbling your name. Do me a favor and take him off my hands fast.

Also he got very mad at me when he found out we exchanged letters. It’s not like we’ve been doing this since you left or anything. He’s so jealous it’s stupid. Sometimes I like to imagine what would have happened if you had been the one forced into a political marriage- and then I quickly stop because I realize he would order me to go arrest and or kill someone and I legally can’t say no.

Save me.

-Virgil

~~~~

February 3rd

Roman,

I have a box of your letters as well. Even ones you haven’t written but are about you- so even some of Delphine’s have been included. Our story is certainly different from that of other couples, and our letters reflect that. I’ll bring my letters as well, maybe we can organize them all into a large collection.

That was an incredibly sappy thought, and yet I wish to follow through with it all the same.

Janus

~~~~

February 7th

Roman,

I deeply apologize. I saw the play. I know we promised to watch it together, but Patton begged me to go with those eyes and that expression and I couldn’t say no. I will make it up to you. I’ll sit through an opera in the future maybe? I know you like operas even if I don’t.

In good news I plan to send a carriage for you, it should arrive on the fourth of the coming month. It will bring you here to the capital, we can see a horrid opera and then we can be on our way to our future. So you have a full month to pack.

Janus

~~~~

February 12th

Janus,

I can’t believe you watched it without me. It will take more than an opera to make up for this. You can start thinking now on how to make it up to me.

Roman

~~~~

February 19th

Janus,

As the days grow closer my excitement grows more and more. Even now I’m writing this to you rather than sleeping as it truly sinks in that we’re going to do this. I can’t wait.

Roman

~~~~

February 23rd

Roman,

My feelings are the same as yours. This morning I announced to my family my intentions. I didn’t tell them where we’ll be going of course, just that I will be relinquishing the position of Crown Prince and that I will be traveling. Father was enraged, sister was surprised, but Mother and Patton seemed to understand and once the three of us were alone they assured me that they are happy for me. I have a few more people (boring nobles) to tell, but now that they know there’s no going back. So you’re not allowed to have cold feet.

Janus

~~~~

February 27th

Janus,

Please if anyone was to have cold feet it was you. I’ve been willing to run away with you since the day I first laid eyes on the pretty thing you call a face.

Roman

~~~~

March 4

Janus,

The carriage should be here any minute, and I’m writing this letter that I intend to hand deliver to calm myself. My room is packed into bags, and I’ve already said most of my goodbyes. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’m sure time will fly when I’m with you. It always does.

Roman

~~~~

Jan,

Truthfully I wish you didn’t have to leave, but I understand it. So I wish you luck in chasing your love, while you’re gone I’ll make some changes around here so you can lead the life you want when you get back.

Be happy, and don’t forget to write.

Patt

~~~~

March 19th

Patton,

I have arrived safely, and both Logan and Roman are doing well. The former was griping about needing to share his estate with us, but all it took was me bringing up a few embarrassing childhood stories for him to loosen up. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but if you’re ever in the mood to frighten Father, tell him that we’ll need a royal wedding upon my return. I finally got to do the proper proposal I’ve had in my head since the New Year’s before last, and it was perfect.

I wish you luck in dealing with the state of affairs, if you need any help send me a letter discreetly and I can offer some aid.

Best wishes,

Janus

P.S. Fire Virgil if you feel like it. You can do better.

~~~~

A Forbidden Romance Years in the Making!

It’s been years since the ex Crown Princess and now hostage of the kingdom Delphine outed then Lord Roman Regis for loving a married man. Afterwards he was shunned by society and took shelter in the palace after his father begged for his shelter. Generously, the former Crown Prince agreed given he was tied to the scandal. But now we know that was never the whole story. Rather the two have been in a secret romance since their school days.

Now, as if his sudden disappearance was nothing, First Prince Janus Ekans has returned with his betrothed Lord Roman Regis, by his side. Previously talks of Crown Prince Patton signing the new law has been floating for a long while, but it seems the pen will finally be put to paper so a royal wedding may commence.

The couple will wed immediately following the signing of the new law legalizing gay marriage. And it will surely be a wedding to remember.

#jaz's oneshots #Janus Sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roceit #love letters #letters #a story in letters #princes

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fcbayern · 4 years ago

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Hallo! Hope you are well! I love your blog and it’s made me really want to understand and get into Bundesliga. How can I know everything I need to know about Bayern so I’m up to date and understand what’s happening within the team? I hope this makes sense? Danke!

hi anon! i’m so sorry it took me so long to reply to this. this week’s been so busy already.

i guess the internet is a good place to start for your research :) of course wikipedia itself is not a bad source, but if you really want to get information, look at the bottom of the wikipedia page for all the teams in the bundesliga, and get the info from the sources there. that’s what wikipedia uses to write their articles, so that should give you even more insight into the bundesliga and its teams, and rules, etc than you already get from the wikipedia article itself.

i’ll try and sum up the most basic info for you - that i know - and if you have any other questions, feel free to send me another message and maybe we can get into more detail:

bundesliga is the highest “class” / tier that you can play in, in germany. it is divided into 2 different tiers: 1. bundesliga and 2. bundesliga.

1. bundesliga consists of 18 teams.

for the upcoming seasons - currently in alphabetical order because the new season doesn’t start until the 18th of September - these are the teams:

DSC Arminia Bielefeld

FC Augsburg

Bayer Leverkusen

FC Bayern München

Borussia Dortmund

Borussia Mönchengladbach

Eintracht Frankfurt

1. SC Freiburg

Hertha BSC Berlin

TSG Hoffenheim

1. FC Köln

1. FSV Main 05

Red Bull Leipzig

FC Schalke 04

VfB Stuttgart

Union Berlin

Werder Bremen

VfL Wolfsburg

Arminia Bielefeld were promoted from 2nd league, where they ended up in first place in the season of 2019/2020. The second team that was promoted is VfB Stuttgart. In exchange for these two teams being promoted, two teams have to be relegated. In the season of 2019/2020 those two teams were SC Paderborn 07 and Fortuna Düsseldorf.

Back to the Bundesliga Basics:

The Bundesliga stands under the umbrella of “DFB”, or Deutscher Fußball Bund (German Football Association), which was founded in 1900. In 1904 the FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) was founded, which is basically the big boss of football. They keep an eye on a number of football associations across the world and also set up the Men’s and Women’s World Cup. DFB joined the FIFA right away in 1904, and in 1954 DFB also joined the UEFA, which is an acronym for Union des Associations Européennes de Football and therefor takes care of all things football in Europe. Self-explanatory.

UEFA wasn’t founded until 1954 because... things happened in Europe in the 30s and 40s.

During the time of the Nazi regime the DFB was dismantled in 1940 and it didn’t pick up again until 1950, when the Federal German Republic was reformed, and the West German football associations decided to get the DFB back up and running. They re-joined FIFA in 1954, and, as mentioned before, also joined UEFA that same year.

The Bundesliga how we know it, however, was not actually a thing until 28. Juli 1962, starting with the season of 1963/1964. Before that there were a number of clubs and associations throughout Germany who all kind of played side by side, and eventually in the 30s the idea of a “Reichsliga” (league of the German Reich) was brought up, where a certain number of teams would play and one would end up winning the title. Kind of what we do now.

And then the war happened.

And in between the end of that and the 60s, obviously they had brought some ideas back to the table, had tried to figure out a more competitive way and to bring football closer to the people.

In 1962 the idea of the Bundesliga was founded. 16 teams were to play each other in one league, competing against each other. 5 from “Oberliga Süd”, 5 from “Oberliga West”, 3 from “Oberliga Nord”, 2 from “Oberliga Südwest” and one from the Berlin City League - the Western part of Berlin, of course.

They had a super complicated system in place to figure out which teams would eventually be allowed to be the “founding fathers” of the Bundesliga. It had to do with economics, they ended up coming up with a weird system for who gets how many points for winning their own league, adding those up, multiplying, and then somehow they ended up with 16 teams... don’t ask me how, I have dyscalculia, I don’t understand their way of thinking at all. Maybe there was some voodoo involved, God knows, honestly.

Eventually they had their 16 winners from the aforementioned leagues:

Oberliga Süd: Eintracht Frankfurt, Karlsruher SC, 1. FC Nürnberg, TSV 1860 München, VfB Stuttgart Oberliga Nord: Eintracht Braunschweig, Werder Bremen, Hamburger SV Oberliga West: Borussia Dortmund, 1. FC Köln, Meidericher SV, Preußen Münster, FC Schalke 04 Oberliga Südwest: 1. FC Kaiserslautern, 1. FC Saarbrücken Stadtliga Berlin: Hertha BSC Berlin

In 1963 this “Bundesliga” wasn’t a pro-league, though. And there were a ton of rules in place that would probably make you go “huh?” these days... or maybe you’d think they are great rules and they need to make a comeback. A transfer, for example, could only cost up to 50.000 German Mark (roughly 25.564,50€ / $30.149,62).

Until 1967 you also weren’t allowed to sign more than three players from another team for the upcoming season.

At some point it was decided that football players would also have the benefits of a full-time worker, if they decided on football as a career, and not just something they did on the side.

When East and West Germany were reunited in 1989 / the early 90s, that’s when the Bundesliga really became more of a commercial success not just in Germany, but also throughout non-German Europe and the rest of the world. Which is also largely due to Germany winning the World Cup in 1990, and the European title in 1996, but the Bundesliga was also specifically marketed to popular media. In 1991 the German Football Association of the German Democratic Republic (Deutsche Fußball-Verband der DDR) - the East German football association - joined DFB. Thus Germany was one again, not just on paper, but also in football.

Another thing that helped the popularity of the Bundesliga was the fact that in the 90s at least one Bundesliga club reached a European championship semi-final. In 1997 Borussia Dortmund won the Champions League, in 1996 Bayern München won the Europapokal, in 1997 Schalke 04 won the UEFA-Pokal. And in the following championships at least one German team reached the final of said competitions.

Let’s jump to the 2000s!

Since 2000 FC Bayern München has won the Bundesliga 13 times. The other winners were: Borussia Dortmund (2002, 2011, 2012), Werder Bremen (2004), VfB Stuttgart (2007) and VfL Wolfsburg (2009). Bayern München is also the only Bundesliga team in the 2000s to win the Champions League: 2013 and 2020.

After all that knowledge, here’s some random facts and numbers that you might find interesting:

- since it was founded in 1963, a total of 56 teams have played in Germany’s highest league - until the season of 2017/2018 Hamburger SV was part of the 1. Bundesliga for 55 seasons, which was a record. Now Werder Bremen holds this record, with 56 seasons to their name - Bayer Leverkusen holds the nickname of “Vizekusen” (Vice-Kusen), and they were at one point regarded as the “ever-second”, always getting close to the top, but never reaching it - Karl-Heinz Körbel has the most Bundesliga appearances: 602 - for Eintracht Frankfurt. He never lost a final with Frankfurt and was never relegated. - Bernd Stöber was the youngest coach in the season of 1976/1977 a t just 24 years, 1 month and 17 days old. - Brazil is the best-represented nation after Germany, with 159 Bundesliga exports (159), followed by Denmark (129), Austria (119), Croatia (118) and Poland (109). - in the season of 2019/2020 Thomas Müller had the most assists: 21. - retired football player Gerd Müller, whose active career was between 1965-1979, holds the record for the most goals: 365. - Otto Rehhagel holds the record for most matches as a manager: 832.

Now let’s go back to where we started: the season of 2020/2021.

As mentioned above, the 1. Bundesliga has 18 teams. To get you up-to-date I’ll give you some more info on each team, that you might find useful!

DSC Arminia Bielefeld: - founded: May 3rd 1905 - manager: Uwe Neuhaus - stadium: SchücoArena

FC Augsburg: - founded: August 8th 1907 - manager: Heiko Herrlich - stadium: WWK Arena

Bayer 04 Leverkusen: - founded: July 1st 1904 -> rebranded to current name on April 1st 1999 - manager: Peter Bosz - stadium: BayArena

FC Bayern München: - founded: February 27th 1900 - manager: Hansi Flick - stadium: Allianz Arena

Borussia Dortmund: - founded: December 19th 1909 - manager: Lucien Favre - stadium: Signal Iduna Park

Borussia Mönchengladbach: - founded: August 1st 1900 - manager: Marco Rose - stadium: BORUSSIA-PARK

Eintracht Frankfurt: - founded: March 8th 1899 - manager: Adi Hütter - stadium: Deutsche Bank Park

SC Freiburg: - founded: May 30th 1904 - manager: Christian Streich - stadium: Schwarzwald-Stadion

Hertha BSC Berlin: - founded: July 25th 1892 - manager: Bruno Labbadia - stadium: Olympiastadion Berlin

TSG 1899 Hoffenheim: - founded: July 1st 1899 - manager: Sebastian Hoeneß - stadium: Prezero-Arena

1. FC Köln: - founded: February 13th 1948 - manager: Markus Gisdol - RheinEnergieSTADION

1. FSV Mainz 05: - founded: March 16th 1905 - manager: Achim Beierlorzer - stadium: OPEL ARENA

Red Bull Leipzig: - founded: May 19th 2009 - manager: Julian Nagelsmann - Red Bull Arena

FC Schalke 04: - founded: May 4th 1904 - manager: David Wagner - stadium: VELTINS-Arena

VfB Stuttgart: - founded: September 9th 1893 - manager: Pellegrino Matarazzo - Mercedes-Benz Arena

1. FC Union Berlin: - founded: January 20th 1966 (originally 1906) - manager: Urs Fischer - stadium: Stadion An der Alten Försterei

SV Werder Bremen: - founded: February 4th 1899 - manager: Florian Kohfeldt - stadium: Weserstadion

VfL Wolfsburg: - fonded: September 12th 1945 -> rebranded to current name on January 16th 2001 - manager: Oliver Glasner - stadium: Volkswagen Arena

Maybe, to get a feeling for each club, you can check out each club’s YouTube account. Through that you should be able to find their other social media, or just by simply googling the team name:

Arminia Bielefeld ● FC Augsburg ● Bayer 04 Leverkusen ● FC Bayern München ● Borussia Dortmund ● Borussia Mönchengladbach ● Eintracht Frankfurt ● 1. SC Freiburg ● Hertha BSC Berlin ● TSG Hoffenheim ● 1. FC Köln ● 1. FSV Main 05 ● Red Bull Leipzig ● FC Schalke 04 ● VfB Stuttgart ● Union Berlin ● Werder Bremen ● VfL Wolfsburg

Each football team has 11 players on the pitch. For the new season in 2019 it was decided that instead of 18 players, each team would be allowed to have 20 players in total - which means 9 substitute players on the bench.

During each season a team can win three main cups (the ones that everyone cares about the most, let’s be real): DFB-Pokal, Meistertitel (Bundesliga winner) and Champions League trophy. The last of which is not a German tournament / cup to be won, so I’ll leave that out for now.

DFB Pokal:

The DFB-Pokal is a German knockout competition, starting out with 64 teams. 36 teams are from the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga, the top four finishers of the third league are automatically added to the list. 21 slots are given to the cup winners of regional football associations, and the remaining 3 slots are given to the regional associations with the most men’s teams.

Direct quote from Wikipedia, which in turn got their information from here: for the first round, the 64 teams are split into two pots of 32. One pot contains the 18 teams from the previous season of the Bundesliga and the top 14 teams from the previous season of the 2. Bundesliga. The other pot contains the bottom 4 teams from the previous season of the 2. Bundesliga, the top 4 teams from the previous season of the 3. Liga and the 24 amateur teams that qualified through regional football tournaments. Teams from one pot are drawn against teams from the other pot. Since 1982, teams from the pot containing amateur teams have played the game at home.For the second round, the teams are again divided into two pots according to the same principles. Depending on the results of the first round, the pots might not be equal in terms of number. Teams from one pot are drawn against teams from the other pot until one pot is empty. The remaining teams are then drawn against each other with the team first drawn playing the game at home.For the remaining rounds, other than the final, the teams are drawn from one pot. Since 1985 the final has been held in the Olympic Stadium in Berlin.

Meistertitel:

The Meistertitel is rewarded to the team that comes out on top on the last match-day of the season. Of course it can be calculated whether other teams can still catch up - points-wise - but the Meisterschale is not rewarded until the season is over. The current record-holder of most Bundesliga wins is FC Bayern München (29), followed by Borussia Dortmund and Borussia Mönchengladbach (5) and Werder Bremen (4) in second and third place.

With the first three Bundesliga wins a team gets a gold star to put on their jersey, with five wins they get a second, ten wins is a third, twenty wins is a forth star. On top of that, the reigning Bundesliga champion gets to wear the Bundesliga logo in gold color on their sleeve.

And that’s that on that.

I don’t know what language you’re fluent in, but here are some football apps that you might enjoy using, to be on track with the upcoming season:

OneFootball

Kicker App

Bundesliga App

11 Freunde App

Amazon Bundesliga Radio

each team’s individual app for updates and news

You can also check out @bundesliga_en on Instagram and Twitter.

One last info for you, so you can jump right into it on the first day of the new Bundesliga season (fixtures are never really 100% until a day or two before the match is supposed to be, so this is preliminary): here is the link for the schedule of the upcoming 1. Bundesliga season.

You can also check out the 2. Bundesliga schedule, because it’s super interesting down there in the second league as well! I highly recommend it (keep your fingers crossed for Paderborn for me!).

I think that’s about everything I can tell you. This reply is already faaaaaaaaar too long, and I apologize! If you have any questions or want me to elaborate, feel free to send me another message.

Have the best time getting used to the Bundesliga, and welcome to the family!

Sources - with more info - under the cut:

fun facts: https://www.bundesliga.com/en/bundesliga/news/easter-eggs-surprising-facts-and-figures-you-may-not-know-3798

team information / schedule: https://www.dfb.de/bundesliga/spieltagtabelle/

team information / schedule (2nd source): https://www.kicker.de/dfb-pokal/spieltag

general information: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fu%C3%9Fball-Bundesliga

app suggestions: https://www.smartmobil.de/magazin/fussball-apps

explanation for how the DFB-Pokal: https://web.archive.org/web/20090609211623/https://www.dfb.de/index.php?id=460546

#Bundesliga #football #elle.reply #beantwortet #september 2020 #this took me like 8 hours to write up because I started while I was still working lmfao #anyway #feel free to block me for making a post this long omg #Anonymous #long post

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lastsonlost · 5 years ago

Text

Seriously, what does this bitch have to do before people Stop defending her.

Amber Heard ridicules Johnny Depp for claiming he is a victim of domestic violence in an explosive tape recording, exclusively obtained by DailyMail.com

She says: 'Tell the world Johnny, tell them... I Johnny Depp, a man, I'm a victim too of domestic violence... and see how many people believe or side with you'

Heard adds: 'You're bigger and you're stronger... I was a 115lb woman... You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, ''she started it''? Really?'

'I have never been able to overpower you... there's a jury and there's a judge will see that there's a very big difference between me and you'

The divorcing couple spoke over the phone in June and July of 2016, with Heard ultimately yielding to Depp's plea to settle out of court for $7m

Their truce crumbled in December 2018 when Heard wrote an op-ed saying she was a domestic violence victim, although not naming anyone

Depp hit her with a $50m defamation suit, saying she implied he was the abuser, which caused him to lose his prized role of Captain Jack Sparrow

In their legal battle, both accused the other of domestic violence and DailyMail.com published a recording in which Heard confessed to 'hitting' Depp

Amber Heard ridicules Johnny Depp for claiming he is a victim of domestic violence in an explosive tape recording obtained by DailyMail.com - telling the Pirates of the Caribbean actor: 'See how many people believe you.'

The estranged couple were barred from talking to one another in May 2016 when Heard filed for divorce and sought a restraining order to escape her 'abusive' A-lister husband.

But the pair continued to clash over the phone, arguing bitterly about who was responsible for the blood-curdling violence that marred their toxic 15-month marriage and accusing one another of leaking to the press, DailyMail.com can reveal.

It's unclear if Heard realizes she is being taped during the expletive-flecked, 30-minute recording, the second bombshell audio released exclusively by DailyMail.com in the space of a week.

You are f**king killing me. Your f**king people are trying to kill me,' complains father-of-two Depp, as he begs Heard to go through private mediation rather than thrashing things out in open court.

'You've turned me into a... my boy goes to school and has kids go, so your f**king dad's a wife beater?'

Tearful Heard denies pushing Depp, 56, 'under a bus' and accuses the actor's associates of circulating details to the press of her arrest record and lurid rumors she was a stripper.

The 33-year-old actress also rejects accusations that she instigated the wild, physical violence that she pinned on Depp in divorce papers,

suggesting a court would be unlikely to take the side of a man over a slender female.

The full list of audio clips can be found in the Daily Mail article.....

Part 2

Do you know I'm a 115, well not anymore, but I was a 115lb, almost 115lb woman,' Heard protests. Adopting a jeering tone, she says: 'You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, she started it? Really?'

The former lovebirds spoke several times on the phone throughout June and July of 2016, skirting the restraining order by having a family member initiate the calls, according to a well-placed source.

Heard would ultimately yield to Depp's plea to settle out of court, retracting her allegations the following month as the pair announced a $7 million divorce settlement.

Their marriage was 'intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love,' according to a joint statement issued on August 16, 2016.

'There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm.'

The truce crumbled in December 2018, however, when Heard penned an op-ed for the Washington Post lamenting her experiences as an alleged domestic violence victim, though never naming anyone.

Heard is currently dating her new girlfriend Bianca Butti and was seen arriving at the 4th Annual Women's March in Downtown Los Angeles last month.

The actress has said she is bisexual and previously dated women, including photographer Tasya van Ree from 2008 to 2011.

Depp responded to Heard's op-ed last year with a $50 million defamation suit, saying the 'hoax' account implied he was the unnamed abuser and caused him to lose his prized role of Captain Jack Sparrow.

'Ms. Heard is not a victim of domestic abuse; she is a perpetrator,' his suit alleges, accusing his ex-wife of manufacturing evidence and faking injury photos.

Heard doubled down with a 300-page filing of her own, cataloging the years of abuse she suffered at the hands of 'the monster', whom she met on the set of The Rum Diary in 2011 and married in February 2015.

The actress stood by those claims last week when DailyMail.com published a separate recording from October 2015 in which she confessed to 'hitting' Depp as well as throwing pots, pans and vases at him.

"I'm sorry that I didn't, uh, uh, hit you across the face in a proper slap, but I was hitting you, it was not punching you. Babe, you're not punched,' Heard says on the tape, recalling an incident the previous night.

It's understood that she and Depp routinely recorded conversations consensually during the breakdown of their marriage, paving the way for yet more bombshell recordings to emerge.

The latest audio clip published by DailyMail.com begins with Depp imploring Heard to reach an out of court settlement rather than waging war in public.

It appears to have been taped at Depp's end of things and the conversation has already begun when the audio supplied to DailyMail.com begins.

'I've been through the f**king hurt. You've been through the f**king hurt. I love you more than anything in life,' he tells his soon-to-be ex-wife.

'I do not want to go into a f**king court with you. I do not want to f**king tarnish your name... I want this to be done peacefully, between us.

'And if you don't like the way that mediation is going, take me back to court kid. Cause I can't. 'This is the last f**king chance Amber. This is it. Once I file those papers we don't turn around man.'

Heard insists, however, that it's Depp's team who are refusing to mediate, refusing to sign a gag order and leaking damaging stories about her to the gossip site TMZ.

'Everything has been a defensive move because I'm being called a liar and a gold-digger,' she says.

'And I am not lying about any of this s**t, and I am not after a dime of your money.'

Depp suggests the pair should write a 'mutual letter' declaring that the divorce will be settled privately.

'Listen to me,' he warns the Hollywood beauty. 'Defending yourself by throwing someone under the bus is not going to look good.'

Heard fires back: 'It's not about that. It would not be about me throwing you under the bus.

'You know what it would be? It would be released through documented people, coming on the record, and, having the protection to do so, that haven't had yet.

'It would be eyewitness statements. It would be evidence. Tons of it. And it would be through years.'

Heard goes on to ridicule Depp's doubts over the facial injuries she turned up with at court when she applied for the restraining order on May 27, 2016.

She also claims to have a trove of incriminating texts, paraphrasing a message to her publicist Jodi Gottlieb ahead of an appearance on The Late Late Show with James Cordon: 'I think, I've had accident, um, I think I may have, I busted my nose and two black eyes tomorrow'.

She tells Depp: 'No one is going to believe that one of the two alternatives, that I'm in a fight club or I've been getting, going through hair and makeup. . .through all these years where I have corroborating text messages between people that match those dates of those time stamped validated photos.'

Heard warns Depp that her lawyers are urging her to make a formal police statement, saying that a criminal prosecutor told her it was 'most solid evidence, case of domestic violence case we've ever seen'.

She declined to do so, however, because she did not want to hurt Depp further,

Heard says, complaining that their public spat has already led to her receiving death threats.

The blonde actress also denies that it was her who rang the cops during the May 21, 2016 dust-up that took place the day before she filed for divorce.

Depp was accused of hurling a cellphone in Heard's face at their downtown Los Angeles loft but two LAPD officers later said in a deposition that they found nothing to suggest a crime took place.

The actor-musician reminds Heard about an incident in which his building manager, Travis, had 'to come up and f**king pull me away from you' though it's not clear which incident Depp is referring to.

Heard also refers to Depp's security guards, 'who by the way,' she says 'have said to me multiple times that I am going to get killed.'

She adds: 'I'm sorry because the last time it got crazy between us I really did think I was gonna lose my life. And I thought you would do it on accident.

'And I told you that. I said oh my god, I thought the first time.'

Depp replies: 'Amber, I lost a f**king finger man, c'mon. I had a f**king, I had a f**king mineral can, a jar, a can of mineral spirits thrown at my nose. '

Their exchange seems to refer to a violent incident that took place in Australia one month into their marriage in which Depp suffered a severed finger.

He claimed his then-wife 'went berserk' when he asked her to sign a 'postnup' agreement, hurling a Vodka bottle at him which shattered on a marble counter-top and ripped off the tip of his finger.

Heard maintains in court filings, however, that Depp cut the digit off himself during an argument while he was 'drunk and high on ecstasy.'

'You can please tell people that it was a fair fight, and see what the jury and judge thinks. Tell the world Johnny, tell them Johnny Depp, I Johnny Depp, a man, I'm a victim too of domestic violence,' she says on the tape.

'And I, you know, it's a fair fight. And see how many people believe or side with you.' Depp cuts in: 'It doesn't matter; fair fight my a**.'

Heard replies: 'Because you're big, you're bigger and you're stronger. And so when I say that I thought that you could kill me, that doesn't mean you counter with you also lost your own finger.

'I, I'm not trying to attack you here, I'm just trying to point out the fact of why I said call 911. Because I was, you had your hands on me after you threw a phone at my face.

'And it's got crazy in the past, and I truly thought I need to stop this madness before I get hurt.'

Seemingly stunned by his former flame's version of events, Depp can simply reply: 'Oh my god.'

He reminds his ex-wife that she will have to repeat her allegations under oath in court.

'Do you believe all this Amber? Do you believe all this,' Depp asks.

'Yes, the f**k, yes, yes,' Heard replies.

'Do you believe you're an abuser? he asks. 'Do you believe you abused me physically?'

Heard replies: 'Do you know I'm a 115, well not anymore, but I was a 115lb almost 115lb woman. . .have I ever been able to knock you off of your feet? Or knock you off balance?

'You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, ''she started it''? Really? I have never been able to overpower you that's the difference between me and you. . .and that's a difference, that's a whole world, and there's a jury and there's a judge will see that there's a very big difference between me and you.'

Depp finally seems to lose his cool when his ex-wife accuses him of spreading rumors she was a stripper, snapping: 'I will f**king see you in court.'

He adds: 'You don't want to make f**king nice nice? I'm trying. I'm trying.

'But you know what? I loved you for so many f**king years but you know what? You didn't exist. You don't exist. You're not there. You're not there.

'You are a f**king made up thing in my head. And I can't believe you are doing this to me.'

The 31-minute recording ends with Depp saying he needs a moment to himself before a door can be heard slamming in the background.

Heard has thus far failed to have her ex-husband's defamation case thrown out or moved from Virginia, where the Washington Post is based, to California. However she did succeed in having it pushed back from last December to August of this year.

Depp's attorney Adam Waldman confirmed the recorded conversation took place while Depp was subject to a restraining order but said Heard initiated the call.

'Ms Heard delivers a chilling message to Johnny Depp any real abuse survivor will instantly recognize: Nobody will believe you. So you better do what I want,' Waldman told DailyMail.com.

'Ms Heard may continue to masquerade as a 'survivor' but the audio tape speaks for itself.'

Heard legal team offered a radically different perspective when provided with a transcript of the tape recording by DailyMail.com, complaining the recording was taken without Heard's consent and was also 'doctored'.

DailyMail.com has decided to publish the audio in its entirety so readers can form their own opinions.

'The latest recording provided to the Daily Mail continues Mr. Depp's ongoing efforts to abuse Ms. Heard,' her spokeswoman said.

'On the transcript of this recording (which notes that it is only a portion of a longer conversation), Ms. Heard repeatedly makes it clear to Mr. Depp that he was physically violent and abusive, that she feared for her life, and that even Mr. Depp's own security guards told her that if she stayed in the relationship, 'she was going to get killed'.

'What is most important on the tape, however, is not what Mr. Depp says, but what he does not say - not once on the tape does he deny Ms. Heard's statements about his violent attacks and the damage they caused, including her broken nose and black eyes.

'In fact, Ms. Heard specifically recalls that during a portion of the conversation not provided to the Daily Mail, Mr. Depp asked Ms. Heard whether she was recording the call and when she answered that she was not, admitted that she was not lying about the fact that he had abused her. As a result, Mr. Depp's use of this doctored recording at this time is not only a fraud and a crime, but an act of desperation.'

Amber Heard's spokeswoman provided the following statement from Dr. Laura Brown, a trauma expert and former president of Society for the Psychology of Women:

'Abuse is attempting to control a victim by any means necessary, including pushing this kind of news story. It is not unusual for victims of physical and emotional abuse to respond by acting to defend themselves.

'But because intimate partner violence is about coercion and control every bit as much as it is about acts of violence, abusers often respond to these acts of self-defense with attempts to reassert control.

'They do so through attempts at coercion, which often include projecting accusations of abuse at their victims for having had the audacity to attempt to defend themselves.

'It is not unusual for the perpetrator of intimate partner violence to try to use the self-defense responses of their targets to claim the mantle of victimhood for themselves.

'This is classic DARVO- Defend, Avoid, Reverse Victim and Offender – the construct developed by Dr. Jennifer Freyd.

'When society and the media buy into these false abuser narratives, they are enabling the perpetrator to re-abuse the victim. We should not be fooled by a DARVO narrative.'

From the audio conversation..

'You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, ''she started it''?' Amber Heard and Johnny Depp clash over the phone during divorce

JOHNNY DEPP: But I'm telling you now, if I file, if they file the f**king papers tomorrow, which means the s**t I've got to file before we go to court on Friday, if they file those papers, first of all, it's very bad for both of us.

AMBER HEARD: Well, your people are not going to file anything that's bad for you, trust me.

JD: No, no what you're saying, you've got to do something to protect yourself which means throwing me under the bus for the, some video about me beating you?

AH: Not me. I have to respond. I mean I'll have to go and pursue, no I'll pursue the whole course of action, because here's what you don't understand. If, if we do this, and basically will know. I called my lawyers and I said why aren't we negotiating now, what's going on, where are we, and they're like everything's under court.

JD: No, they won't settle. Your agents won't settle. Your lawyers won't settle baby. I'm telling you.

AH: We want to mediate. We even have a mediator, found a mediator and everything. But that was all worked out. But the thing that Laura [Wasser, Depp's attorney] wouldn't agree to, she did not want to agree to a mutual gag order. That's the problem, she doesn't want the gag order, why Johnny? Why? Why wouldn't she? Why wouldn't she want both parties not to talk about this in the press?

AH: I just want you to know. I'm not doing anything and have not been doing any move. Look it up, the timeline. Nothing was on the offense. Everything has been a defensive move because I'm being called a liar and a gold-digger. And I am not lying about any of this s**t, and I am not after a dime of your money.

JD: It's hurting You. It's hurting You. And it's hurting me. But the worst f**king thing is (unintelligible). Do you want to go to court Amber? Seriously? Do you want to go to court with this? I'm offering you an opportunity for us to make this finish in peace. Peaceful, man. We walk away. You go do what you gotta do, I go do what I gotta do. I, I, I've been through the f**ing hurt. You've been through the f**king hurt. I love you more than anything in life. I do not want to go into a f**king court with you. I do not want to f**king tarnish your name. I do not want to f**king tarnish. I don't want nothing. I want this to be done peacefully, between us. And if you don't like the way that mediation is going, take me back to court kid. Cause I can't. This is the last f**king chance Amber. This is it. Once I file those papers we don't turn around man. I know you hate me, and I know you whatever, I'm telling you now, there's no call, it doesn't need to happen like this. Please, for f**ks sake trust me man.

JD: Continuing through court is going to end up nothing but bad for you, and for me. It's just going to be bad. In any case, no matter whether we ruin each other or not, it's going to be f**king heartbreaking, it's terrible. Let's write a mutual letter that says look, in lieu of what's transpiring out there in the world with all this f**king crazy s**t, we have decided to take this private. We're not going to go to court, right now, over this. We are going to try to work something out, together. And then at least, at the very f**king least. I know you want to respond, and I know you want to defend yourself. Listen to me. Defending yourself by throwing someone under the bus is not going to look good.

AH: I'm not. It's not about that. It would not be about me throwing you under the bus. You know what it would be? It would be released through documented people, coming on the record, and, having the protection to do so, that haven't had yet. It would be eyewitness statements. It would be evidence. Tons of it. And it would be through years. And it would be unbelievable. Unbelievable, um, to imagine that either I'm (a) in a secret fight club, or (b) I've had um...

JD: A secret what?

AH: A secret fight club. Or that I have been plotting to do this for three years, and, while taking pictures of it, and documenting it, just saving it up for the right time when I'm not asking for any money and have nothing financial to gain from it. But no one is going to believe that. No one is going to believe that one of the two alternatives, that I'm in a fight club or I've been getting, going through hair and makeup or going through makeup through all these years where I have corroborating text messages between people that match those dates of those time stamped validated photos of either corroboration between people hearing us.

AH: All of that won't be me throwing you under the bus, that will be evidence, in the case. Which I will have to, it will be criminal as well, because I cannot go on Friday and file without filing a police statement first. And the only reason I haven't filed a police statement, which has been used against me by the way, every day, and the only reason I won't do it, haven't done it, is because I don't want to hurt you and that means it goes out of my hands and every, we had a third party guy, a third party prosecutor come and a criminal lawyer come, and they went, the problem is hearing from you like your biggest struggle, this is just, is that it is the most solid evidence, case of domestic violence case we've ever seen. And if you get this over to them or any part of it they will prosecute him. And I felt like, I would never want that. For you. Because I don't even, it's hard for me, I don't even call myself, like, in my head it's hard for me to even accept any sort of victimdom, ever. And I don't want to hurt you.

JD: I understand. I understand. And I don't want to hurt you either. I'm only going to say this. I love you. I love you. I've always loved you. And I know that, look, you do whatever you feel you have to do. I'm telling you now it's a mistake to go to court. If you want to go to court, we'll go to court. I would rather take care of it in a different way, I think it would be very good for you, and it would be very good for me. But you know what?

AH: I've been called a liar.

JD: Baby, you know what?

AH: And I've been called a golddigger.

JD: Baby. Baby. Amber, I didn't call you those things. I didn't call you those things.

JD: It's been going on too long Amber and we've got to stop this. It's got to stop it.

AH: I don't know how to get my reputation back.

JD: We write a letter together. Saying that we are going to take this out of the public eye. Saying that we are going to try and work this out on our own. Saying that the media has created such a f**king hateful storm that it's sickening. That we love each other. And that we want to make sure each other's OK. Have we had fights in the past, have we had this or whatever, f**k it, whatever, they already know all that s**t, it don't matter. Here's the deal.

AH: Oh, it matters. I have been, I have been, you have no idea, every ounce of my credibility has been taken from. And done so in a dishonest way. You know.

JD: Amber, the abuse, the abuse thing is, is we've got to deal with that, yeah. We've got to deal with that Amber.

AH: We don't have any way of, my credit, It's my credibility.

JD: Then why did you put that out there?

AH: I did not. You forced me, your team, forced me to by going on the offense.

AH: Well I'm sorry. I'm sorry because the last time it got crazy between us I really did think I was gonna lose my life. And I thought you would do it on accident. And I told you that. I said oh my god, I thought the first time.

JD: Amber, I lost a f**king finger man, c'mon. I had a f**king, I had a f**king mineral can, a jar, a can of mineral spirits thrown at my nose.

AH: You can please tell people that it was a fair fight, and see what the jury and judge thinks.

Tell the world Johnny, tell them Johnny Depp, I JOHNNY DEPP, A MAN, I'M A VICTIM TOO OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

JD: Yes.

AH: And I, you know, it's a fair fight. And see how many people believe or side with you.

JD: It doesn't matter, fair fight my a**.

AH: That's exactly. Because your big, you're bigger and you're stronger. And so when I say that I thought that you could kill me, that doesn't mean you counter with you also lost your own finger. I, I'm not trying to attack you here, I'm just trying to point out the fact of why I said call 911. Because I was, you had your hands on me after you threw a phone at my face. And it's got crazy in the past, and I truly thought I need to stop this madness before I get hurt.

JD: Oh my god.

AH: And I never think about myself that way. I never defend myself that way. I never see myself as a victim.

JD: There's also Travis coming to get me, there's Travis having to come up and f**king pull me away from you.

JD: You're going to have to do this under oath too you know.

AH: I will because the unfortunate part is I can talk about all of this.

JD: Do you believe all this Amber? Do you believe all this?

AH: Yes, the f**k, yes, yes.

JD: You believe I'm an abuser?

AH Yes.

JD: You believe I'm an abuser?

AH: In May, In December, in, in April

JD: Do you believe you're an abuser?

AH: No.

JD: Do you believe you abused me physically?

AH: Do I physically believe, I mean do I believe I physically abused you?

JD: Yes?

AH: Do you know I'm a 115, well not anymore, but I was a 115lb almost 115lb woman and you have the capacity...

JD: That's not the question. That's not the question.

AH: Have I ever been able to knock you off of your feet? Or knock you off balance?

JD: You started. You started these things.

AH: You're going to get up on the stand, Johnny, and say, 'she started it'? Really? I have never been able to overpower you that's the difference between me and you.

JD: Why did you try?

AH: And that's a difference, that's a whole world, and there's a jury and there's a judge will see that there's a very big difference between me and you.

JD: You cannot automatically, you cannot think that it's just my side. You are f**king killing me. Your f**king people are trying to kill me. You've turned me into a, my boy has to go to school, my boy goes to school and has kids go 'so your f**king dad's a wifebeater'? You don't think about that Amber.

AH: You don't think also my family, and all the death threats? Me and every single person in my immediate circle of friends and family is getting also matters? And you don't think I, you don't think I?

JD: Death threats?!!

AH: Your people put this out. Why, why, why, why did your security go on the record and lie? Why, that's a proactive measure. Why did your divorce attorney get to file for divorce period? At all? Second, why did she have to go and leak to TMZ? Why if you wanted it private, is TMZ being fed information literally by Laura Wasser and Marty Singer every step of the way? My, my my my arrest records. Who put that in the media? The rumors that I was a stripper? Or, of course I can expect that. I've known every step of the way, every single step of the way everything you give 'em.

JD: I give 'em? I give 'em? That's it. I give 'em? I'll see you in court. No. I'll f**king see you in court. I will f**king see you in court. I never f**king said that. I never told anyone that. You f**king trusted me with that and I never f**king told anyone that. And you know what, Amber?

AH: Thank you.

JD: This is not, no, this is me. This is me saying I tried. And thank you. And I will see you in f**king court. You don't want to make f**king nice nice? I'm trying. I'm trying. But you know what? You, I loved you for so many f**king years but you know what? You didn't exist. You don't exist. You're not there. You're not there. You are a f**king made up thing in my head. And I can't believe you are doing this to me.

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

1131

survey by lilprincess

Approx. Time you began this survey: 6:46 on a Wednesday evening.

Describe your mood right now: Erm, a bit exhausted because I just ended a work shift; but content for the same reason. Right now I’m simply looking forward to dinner and crashing on the couch or my bed, wherever I feel like sleeping tonight.

Spell your first name without vowels: Rbn. Let’s just also remove y for this one.

Age you will be on your next birthday: 23.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Do you believe what your horoscope says about your sign? I do not believe in astrology whatsoever.

What state/region do you live in? Somewhere in the Philippines somewhere close to Metro Manila.

Height: Like 5′1″ ish. I had a massive growth spurt in 4th grade that also ended in 4th grade, which will always be a funny story to tell people lmao. I went from being placed at the back of the class line to the front really quickly.

Do you smoke? Super occasionally. My last cigarette was like...all the way back in February last year. It was easier to hide the smell around my family before, but because my parents and siblings have mostly been staying at home in the last year it would be so easy to weed out the smell. I never feel like smoking anyway since I vape, so there’s been no reason to seek it out.

Do you drink? Yeah, sometimes socially and sometimes on my own if I wanna unwind and feel a lil buzz come through.

What's your ethnic background? Southeast Asian, specifically Filipino.

What's your religious background? Technically my ~background~ would be Catholic since I was born and baptized in that faith, but I’ve long let go of this. Excluding one very brief period in high school, religion was something I never held much belief and faith in, even if I've been taken to literally every Sunday mass for the last 23 years and even if I was enrolled in Catholic school from preschool to high school.

What's your natural hair color? Black.

What;s your natural eye color? Dark brown, almost black.

Do you have any bad habits you want to break? I do overtime work a lot but used to seldom file it on our company shift log sheet because I get shy that they must think I’m doing it just to be paid more, lol. I’m starting to file them every time I do OT though because fuck it, pay me.

Name a few of your positive habits. I like that I always find a way to meet deadlines. I like that I’m selfless, even though some would see it as a flaw. I’d rather do too much than say I never did anything at all.

Have you ever lived in a foreign country? No, the most I’ve done was travel to one for a week.

Did you vote in the Nov. 6 2012 presidential election? No because I am not American -___- The last election that took place before I was eligible was in 2010, and had I been able to vote then, I would’ve given mine to Gibo Teodoro, who I believe was the most qualified at the time.

Are you even eligible to vote? Yeah, I’ve been for the last 5 years. I’ve voted twice - once for the presidential elections back in 2016, and the next was for the senatorial elections in 2019.

Are you right handed or left handed? Right-handed.

When you write, is your penmanship usually neat or do you tend to scribble? It starts off neat for the most part, but it gradually gets messy and becomes more like a scribble if we’re talking about writing several essays in one sitting, which was usually the case in my exams in college.

Have you ever experienced an accident? (of any type): Sure, I’ve been in car accidents before. I’ve also been shocked once.

Do you have/want children? They would be nice to have, yeah.

Are you environmentally conscious? For the most part, yeah. But there are some things that can’t be helped, like me driving. Unless the government does something about the shitty public transport system that we have and have had for decades, I refuse to take it.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? Like I said, my own car. If I’m traveling, by plane.

Do you prefer 80's - 90's music compared to today's music? Eh, not at all. I prefer music produced these days.

Are you more of an introvert (quiet/shy), or extrovert (social butterfly)? I’ve been more of an extrovert in the last few years but I will always be shy at first upon meeting new people, like that will never change. I warm up a lot quickly now, though.

What's your favorite emoticon? :)

Do you miss the good old days of hand-written letters? I caught the super super super last part of this era, so I didn’t even get to experience it. I know snail mail was still kind of a thing when I was a kid, but at the same time that was happening my mom was also already using email to keep in touch with my dad, so.

Nowadays, though, when I do write letters to loved ones, I will still prefer to make handwritten ones, especially for a significant other or best friend. I don’t think I’ve ever sent out a computerized long letter.

Do you enjoy receiving or giving more? Giving, but it’s nice to be treated too sometimes.

Are you good at keeping secrets? Sure.

Do you take or give advice more often? I don’t usually get into situations wherein I’d have to do either, but I think I’ve been asking for advice more, especially over the last few months.

Do you have your driver's license? “I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always talked about...” Haha this question made me sing a bit. Anyway, yeah, I got it shortly after I turned 18 since I needed to quickly learn before college started.

Would you rather be poor & happy or rich but miserable? Rich but miserable. Soz but I’d solve 4854983594857 of my problems if I never had to worry about money.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Never.

Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook? Probably not blocked, but I’ve unfollowed some current Facebook friends and unfriended others entirely.

Do you think recreational marijuana should be nationally legalized? Idk much about the topic since it’s taboo enough where I live, but sure, I guess?I haven’t heard one bad word about the effects of marijuana.

Describe your perfect first date. I’ve never really had a first date, but I imagine an ideal one would be pretty lowkey, just a stroll around a nice city and maybe have fancyish dinner somewhere.

Have you ever been high? Nope.

Have you ever watched a NC-17 rated film? Sure. A good handful of Kubrick films pass for NC-17, right? I’d be surprised if they weren’t, lol. I’ve been scarred by some of them for sure.

If you ever become reincarnated as an animal, what would you want it to be? A dog.

Do you remember where you were/what you were doing on September 11, 2001? No; I was 2 years old. I did ask my parents where they were in those moments, and my mom understandably missed most of it since the entire thing unfolded in the late evening in the Philippines. The only thing she can recall was being insanely worried for my dad, who had just started to work in the US back then.

Do you ever wish you were of a different nationality/religion? Yeah, to a certain extent, just because the political and socioeconomic situation here is very messy and it doesn’t really give us the nicest reputation in front of the world. I’m proud of my Filipino culture and heritage though.

Are you more of a junk food addict or health nut? Health nut is the last thing anyone should be calling me. But I’m not so much a junk food addict either? I do like spoiling myself with food, but I still monitor my intake.

Do you believe Antarctica should be considered the 7th world continent? Isn’t it already though?? We’ve always been taught there were 7 continents and Antarctica is one of them lol.

Describe your own sense of humor in 1 word: Gen-Z, if that counts as one word.

Have you ever quoted the Bible (or any other Holy Book)? If I ever did it was probably meant to be sarcasm.

Have you ever completed a Sudoku puzzle? No. Never figured out how to play it either.

Would you rather be a nuclear physicist or marine biologist? Marine biologist. That’s one step closer to one of my loves, biology. Plus I was never any good with physics, so.

Do you have a deep, dark secret you're hiding from every one? I guess.

Would you rather be able to soar like an eagle or swim like a dolphin? I’d make my childhood self happy and go with flight.

If you wanted to learn a foreign language, what would it be? Korean so I can finally stop reading subs, hahah.

Are you bi-curious? No.

Did you watch the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon more as a kid? The Nickelodeon cartoons were far more interesting to me. I think I only got into Disney when I got a little bit older, once I was able to appreciate the more mature content in shows like The Suite Life, That’s So Raven, etc. But for the most part our TV was always tuned into Nick Jr., Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron and the other Nick shows.

Name 5 films that were made the year you were born: American History X (great watch), The Truman Show, Mulan, La Vita e Bella if I’m not mistaken (one of my faves, no matter how gut-wrenching it is), and Shakespeare in Love.

Did you have a lot of friends in high school? Yes, eventually I did.

Do you rely more on the newspaper, Internet or TV as your news source? Social media these days since I find that online writers are far more discerning in their reporting than TV anchors, who stay neutral at best.

True or false: Bigger is better. Very vaguely put, but not always, I guess.

Do you think religion is the primary cause of war? No? There’ve been plenty other reasons for war.

What's your favorite pizza topping? ...Cheese.

Think of your wardrobe. What color do you wear the most? It’s still black, I think.

Have you ever been to a planetarium? Just once, on a middle school field trip. I’d love to come back, though.

Do you feel like you connect more with animals or other people? I don’t get to be with animals a lot other than my dogs, so I’ll go with people.

Do you feel like sometimes you have to lie in order to protect yourself? Wow so dramatically put haha but yeah, I suppose it does feel that way sometimes.

How often do you exercise? Literally never. I’ve stopped working out this year since I didn’t see the point, and I’ve stopped feeling like I had to ‘get back’ at my ex just by getting a more toned figure. I’m totally at peace with how my body looks, plus I never want to give up on my favorite foods and snacks lol so there’s that.

Can you swear in a different language? Putangina mong bobo kang gago ka. That’s three for ya.

Do you think teachers/doctors deserve to get paid more than pro athletes? Everyone deserves to be paid fairly to the point that no comparison should be necessary, period.

From a scale of 1- 5, you would rate this survey: Erm, a 4.5. I had to delete some questions I didn’t feel comfortable answering or that I found a little meh, but the rest I fairly enjoyed.

Do you think most of these questions were more original or more ordinary? It’s a bit in between.

Approx. time you completed this survey: Hahahahah 10:38 PM. I took a million breaks.

#survey #surveys

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lutraverselemonde · 4 years ago

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having a good nose

Time: November - February Place: Various Death Eaters’ Houses Status: Self-Para, with help from: @sectumsmpra

4th of November 1981

Lu stood in the back of the room, looking pretty.

They were good at that, so they didn’t complain. Of course, there were activities more exciting than just standing (no details needed) but the patronage they’d found in England with a certain Mister Avery was too new to decline invitations already. And while those functions were the single most boring events Lu had ever been forced to attend, Mister Avery had his way to make at least the ending a little sweeter.

Mister Avery was -- in his own right -- a good man, albeit perhaps not the wittiest of the bunch. This certainly contributed to the boredom perpetuated by those functions: half a dozen to a dozen old men sitting around in a smoke-filled room, basically jerking each other off verbally for a couple of hours. Discussing their recent achievements in what they called the War; sharing secrets they’d given the Dark Lord; waxing poetry about how their social status was being compromised by the ‘invasion of the mud’; making new plans for the future about how to really show the Phoenix people what pain was. It was all there. It was all ridiculous. And Lu stood in a corner, looking pretty.

As always. Or, well, almost always. Because while this group of men was sometimes larger, sometimes smaller, with various guests attending only occasionally, they were still always the same faces. And it was today, in the middle of one of such talks about the Phoenix people that the door opened and a black little creature strutted in. Pale skin, haughty chin, and a nose akin to Cleopatra’s in those comics. He introduced himself quietly to the people present then stood somewhere quietly as well, listening, his black eyes on whoever was speaking. Lu noted that it was a good nose.

They’d always preferred bigger noses to the small ones. There was something royal about a nose that new to impose on a face, the way a King would know to impose on a country. In women more so than in men, actually, but it all depended on the haircut worn along with it. And this little creature had no interest in seeing a good hair designer any time soon, did he? It looked like he’d gotten stuck somewhere in the 70’s, among some goths. Or perhaps even earlier. Surely even 60’s John Lennon wouldn’t want that haircut back. Hadn’t he died recently? Ah, at least they knew now who’d stolen his sense of fashion. Hilarious! Lu let out a chuckle.

Goth Boy’s eyes jumped to them immediately. No one else had noticed the laugh but Goth Boy had reacted immediately and Lu’s shoulders straightened with surprise. Their own eyes stayed on him in return, knowing well that flinching and quickly looking away was way more conspicuous than just standing still. Looking pretty. But Goth Boy seemed to have no interest in how pretty they were anyway, and a shadow of a frown later, he’d turned back to listen to the conversation. Lu hummed.

What a good nose.

9th of December

Goth Boy began showing up more often now, but none of the men seemed surprised to see him join. There were never any introductions. He just strutted in, stood or sat, sometimes conversed, and then left again at the end of it all, without proper greetings or goodbyes. No one seemed to pause at that while also shifting in their seats just uncomfortably enough to signal that they were not really a friend of his presence. It was weird. And Lu loved every second of it.

“Who’s he?” they had asked Mister Avery a couple of weeks in. “No one you need to mind.” “Is he your boss?” Mister Avery laughed. “No, but he’s … close to my … boss.” He never said the Dark Lord’s name but that didn’t make it any less obvious about who he was speaking of. Lu cooed. “Lord Voldemort has a boyfriend?” “Sh!” Mister Avery flinched and covered Lu’s mouth, looking around frantically to see if anyone had heard them. “Don’t … ever.” Interesting. There apparently was more to learn about Goth Boy than initially assumed. Not now, though. Not through Mister Avery. Slowly, Lu removed the hand and redirected his attention to their very capable lips.

If not lovers, perhaps father and son? Lu had still not met the Dark Lord, nor did any of the men at the function ever properly speak of him. For all they knew, he was already an old man with grandkids running around his ankles. Perhaps Goth Boy was one of them? Perhaps that was why he felt so unattainable at those functions? Inherited dignity? But, no. He didn’t look like he benefited from any form of oligarchy. Nor did he look power-hungry like some sons Lu had met here. If he wanted to attend those functions to scare those men into obedience, he’d do it differently. As it were, it looked as if he was merely trying to observe.

Observe Lu? Goth Boy’s eyes were on them again. Lu smiled. He looked away.

16th of December

He smelled of the greenhouses at Beauxbaton.

This was the closest Lu had ever gotten to him. And they’d not been the one to ‘get’ anywhere. It was Goth Boy who’d strutted in and found a spot next to Lu. Standing with his hands behind his back, chin high, quiet. Observing. Lu understood now why the men always seemed to stiffen (in the not-fun way) when he was close. He could perfectly ignore you and yet it felt like he was judging you.

Herbs and chemicals and potions’ steam.

“The acoustic’s good here.” His voice was barely above a murmur, yet it reached Lu all too easily, as though magically redirected. The words came out smoothly, quickly, but without haste; attached to one another as if they were made of honey, too, in their own way. Lu took a breath, considering the implications of that sentence and all the ways this conversation could go, then settled on a simple laugh full of charm: If only it weren’t so boring.” The black eyes jumped over to them. Piercing, they caught Lu in their spot, and froze the laugh still on their face. “Well, it’s true,” they breathed out, accentuating their French accent, “I wish they’d at least provide champagne and not just whisky.” Goth Boy only raised his eyebrows in disdain and was about to turn when Lu quickly held out a hand: “Lu Travers, Wixtraordinaire and maker of dreams.” Goth Boy hesitated, then took the hand, though without kissing it. “Severus Snape.” Lu turned the hand in theirs, taking in the sight. Stained fingers. Potioneer. Then smiled. “Good nail bed, congratulations.”

23rd of December

There were some functions that were more akin to parties, and others, when the group was smaller, where it was more like a meeting. Today was one of the former, which allowed Lu to float from group to group and listen in easily. They’d stand there, looking pretty, and take note of all that was being said, and when someone noticed their presence they put up a sweet smile and deflected any questions with jokes. Then they’d move to the next group.

And usually it was fun and easy and Lu spent no second thought on how they appeared or behaved but that night? Two black eyes were on them the entire time.

No one of noble or pure blood ever noticed the servants. So who was this potioneer who did not care or need to integrate while also being anything but one of them?

At the end of the party, Lu handed Goth Boy their business card. “If ever you want to see some more of me.” A wink, a turn, a pause, an addition: “Of course, you could also start coming to the Sunday morning meetings. Seeing how they’re more muted, you might enjoy them more. But in case you have something better to do, on Sunday mornings that is, don’t hesitate to write me.” A smile towards the card, then they disappeared.

Goth Boy never wrote, of course, but he did show up at the next Sunday morning meeting. Once. And then never again.

13th of January, 1982

Things had changed. What had started as a side-game had now become Lu’s mission: the destruction of Lord Voldemort. If he wanted to kill for fun? Fine. If he wanted to kill half-breeds like Lu’s friends? Fine. If he wanted to kill Muggleborns like Lu themself? Fine. But what he’d done on January first, when he’d killed innocent, uninvolved Muggles? That went too far.

Attending those functions was now a matter of life and death. They’d gather as much information as they could find and bring them to the Order, lay it all out for them, help them infiltrate and win. And what had once been boring speeches of men thinking too highly of themselves now became Lu’s greatest point of interest. No word was lost on them, no thought or reaction. Everything those men did was going to be weaponised against them, it was only a matter of time, Lu swore it to themself. To themself and to Urhie.

“You look less bored tonight.” It was Goth Boy’s voice, Lu didn’t have to look to know. “There’s a pretty big hole in their plan. I’m waiting to see if someone finally notices.” “You mean the fact that if they disable disapparition, their own guests will also be caught inside?” Lu’s lips curled into a smirk. “So you’ve noticed.” Their eyes met, briefly. “Will you tell them?” Goth Boy shrugged. “Let’s see how long it takes them.” Lu’s smirk sharpened and for a moment they took in the sight of his profile again. What a good nose.

3rd of February

“So what does a Muggleborn do amongst the ranks of the Dark Lord?” But Lu only received a dismissive scoff at that. “How did you get in here?” “Mister Avery’s study? I work here. Sometimes.” Goth Boy responded with a look of disdain and shoved the drawer close again. “If I answer you, will you not report me?” Lu shrugged. “Deal.” “I’m not a Muggleborn.” “Oh! Boo,” Lu laughed and joined Goth Boy by Mister Avery’s desk, sitting on it with their legs crossed and their feet dangling delicately. “Is the truth worth nothing anymore these days?” Goth Boy paused and just fixated them with his expression haughty disinterest and eyes of all too much interest. Lu grinned. “Don’t try. There’s no use.” He faltered. His eyes widened, his shoulder straightened, then he seemed to catch himself and leaned back in his hips. “What makes you think I’m a Muggleborn?” “You shook my hand like one. You attend Sunday morning mass, a Christian habit. You clearly don’t know how to dress like a Pureblood.” The last one sounded the most judgemental but it wasn’t the one that drew the most reaction from Goth Boy. “You’re … very wrong.” “Am I?” Goth Boy sighed. “I have other appointments on Sunday Morning and I shook your hand because … you extended it.” “But not to be shaken.” Goth Boy frowned. “To be kissed?” Goth Boy was still frowning. Lu let out a loud sigh, both in exasperation and realisation: “You’re just straight! I’m an idiot, I should’ve known. It was the whole Robert Smith about you that distracted me, no, please, don’t mind me, I’m going. Have fun snooping around, I hope you enjoy your very, very grim life.” With that, they disappeared.

10th of February

Four more days.

Lu had given the house plan of the Rosier’s to the Order. In return, they were assigned a mission: play the grand Lady Bullstrode’s escort with a girl called Dorcas Meadowes and snoop around the manor for Silver Masks and the like. They knew it was an honour to be assigned to a mission -- and the party was surely going to be grandiose! -- but one thing was still making them feel rather uneasy.

“They still haven’t fixed the hole in their plan, have they?” Goth Boy shook his head. “If the Phoenix Order makes it inside somehow and a fight breaks out, they’ll all be caged in there like animals.” Lu brushed their fingers over their lips, thinking, almost nervous. “Are you going?” “Me?” Goth Boy gave it a nod. “I’m not-...” I’m not in the Order. But of course, you didn’t have to be in the Order to attend the party. On the contrary. “I will, yes. On duty.” Goth Boy gave it another nod. Lu didn’t think he’d have more to say, but more came, a long moment later and almost suddenly: “If I were to attend the party, I’d wait for the end of this function to throw a quick glance at their plans usually left on this table. Check the warding system beforehand. See if there’s … holes.” Lu’d said nothing to that.

Perhaps they should’ve thanked him, seeing how on that night of the 14th of February, his suggestion was what saved their life.

#{ le monde }#severus #y'all wanted it #here it is #snep vs lu #ft: sexy voldy fantasies and terrible nicknames

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erchommai-a · 5 years ago

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main timeline.

1989

● Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern is born on the second year of the Uprising.

1991

● Jocelyn’s betrayal.

● Jonathan is presumed dead along side with Valentine on the 3rd of February.

● 23rd of August Clary is born.

1992

● On his 3rd birthday, Valentine gives him his first sword.

● His training begins.

1994

● It was on the eve of 21st of January that he learned about the existence of the other boy.

● On his 4th birthday, he learned about demons and met, face to face, with his first one.

● He wasn’t allowed to fight it.

1995

● On his 5th birthday, Valentine taught him to hunt.

● He was also 5 when he first tried to kill Valentine.

● When he fails, he hears Lilith for the first time and thinks it’s a dream.

● He learns to take care of himself out of necessity ─ Valentine’s absence is frequent and unpredictable.

1996

● A week before his birthday, he manages to break into Valentine’s laboratory and burn half of his books.

● He is 6 years old when he first learns of the whip.

● He is also 6 years old when Valentine explains to him the nature of his birth when he realizes the scars don’t heal.

1997

● On his 7th birthday, Valentine gives him a Falcon.

● He named it Munin to match Valentine’s Hugin.

● He doesn’t ask anything when he’s ordered to kill it.

● He asked Valentine if he learned that from her instead.

● He shot down everything that dared to fly over the cabin in Valentine’s absence for a month.

1998

● He makes his first attempt to find out where Valentine keeps the other boy so he could kill him.

● Valentine finds out. As compensation, he lets him kill his first wolf.

● On his birthday, he gets a bow and a spear and the whole day with his Father.

● Jonathan asks him about Jocelyn for the first time.

● He breaks both of his new gifts a month from overuse.

● Valentine introduces him to other weapons to pass the time until his next lesson.

1999

● On his 9th birthday, Valentine gave him the challenge to kill his first demon after teaching him the exact place in a man’s back where you can pierce his heart and sever his spine all at once .

● He thinks he hears a voice inside of his head but it never answers back.

2000

● Valentine starts with his formal education. Having instilled enough of what could be considered discipline in the boy.

● He introduced him to languages, history, and the art.

● He introduced him to all the necessary education that comes with the life of a Shadowhunter.

● He learned to play the piano and the violin but his interest was still pulled more closely to things he could do with his hands.

● He enjoyed whittling and woodworking with his Father.

● And consuming books in his absence.

2001

● On his 11th birthday, Valentine informs him of his plan to give up Jace as his present.

● His unquestionable loyalty to his Father is sealed then and there.

● His lessons begin to focus on adapting more human traits, spycraft and learning quick magical spells to help in fights and healing.

● Valentine also starts rigorous experiments performed on him to study the full effects of the demon blood on his constitution.

● Physical and Mental experiments alike.

2007

● It’s the first time he’s seen his mother since she had put him to bed that night before Valentine fled.

● It’s the first time Valentine brings him to the apartment and he only sees his mother in passing before he is sent on his first mission.

● He dreams of Clary.

● He spends the next six months stalking and studying Sebastian Verlac.

● He explores Paris with him.

● He learns everything about him.

2008

● He only kills Sebastian when his Father calls him back.

● He introduces himself as Sebastian.

● He finally meets Jace and Clary face to face.

● He dies by the foot of a river before Valentine’s plans come into fruition.

2009

● Presumed dead. ( Again. )

● For six months, he is enveloped in darkness ─ practically dead except in thought ─ forced into silence and face the absolute madness of solitude and only Lilith’s voice in his ear.

● Lilith brings him back through the twinning ritual binding his life source to Jace.

● He is incapacitated for at least a month ─ borrowing strength from Jace to build his body and his strength back.

● Jace and Jon shenanigans.

● Team Evil shenanigans.

● Clary ruins said shenanigans and breaks the bond between Jace and Jon.

● He flees to Valentine’s backup apartment in St. Petersburg.

● He recuperates only for a month but not before leaving dead angel’s wings ( which he actually just stole from Valentine who stole from Ithuriel ) in front of the New York Institute’s doors with “Erchomai” drawn out on the asphalt in red blood like the dramatic bitch that he is.

● Starts the Dark War while also starting an “affair” with the Seelie Queen.

● Kills more wolves than people tbh. ( Sorry Praetor Lupus peeps. )

● Mostly turned a lot of Shadowhunters into Endarkened.

● Drags Dark War into Edom.

● Makes himself God. Traps the heroes.

● Dies.

● Like an idiot.

● “ I’ve never felt so light. “

● TO CLARIFY:HE DOESN’T DIE because he doesn’t have humanity left because THAT IS ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT and I don’t sign up for that. HE DIES BECAUSE CLARY STABBED HIM IN THE HEART which is a lot more poetic and also appropriate so fuck that CASSANDRA.

● RIP.

2009 / Alternative Post COHF .

● On the off chance he does survive ─ through some miracle or another ─ but also you know you can’t tell me that Clary couldn’t have just you know thought very hard and tried to save him. LIke I get why she didn’t cause he sucks ass but I’m just saying.

● Okay for my preferred canon ─ I prefer Jocelyn being the one to go through great lengths to keep him alive.

● His body is carried in her arms from Edom back to Earth. From there, he is submitted to the Silent brothers for funeral preparations but he isn’t fully gone.

● The fire is low but it’s still burning through his system.

● Tying his soul to his body.

● And one of the effects of the Heavenly Fire is kind of a test of wills. A challenge of how much of that little ounce of humanity in him can survive before the fire burns out. And the answer is six months in a comatose state ─ under 24 hour supervision from the Clave and the Silent Brothers where his survival and existence is kept in close wraps and is unknown beyond those within powerful influences.

● A fake funeral is done in the interim ─ there is no grave. The Shadowhunter World’s biggest threat defeated.

● When he wakes up, he is immediately put in a cell without Jocelyn’s knowledge. The deliberation on his sentence takes months.

● Eventually his existence is exposed before the clave could come to a decision ─ the calm and peace that came with his death disappears overnight. Demands on his death are made. Attempts on his life follow not long after. The deliberation worsens.

● Jocelyn is the only one arguing for his humanity.

● He hasn’t spoken to a single soul in months because no one is allowed to speak to him. His cell is warded off.

● He makes three attempts to kill himself. None ever quite work.

● On the eve of his sentencing ─ he thinks it Jocelyn when its Clary who breaks him out.

● “ Mercy, “ she said.

● He remembers the word and he says no more before he flees.

2012 .

● He hides in plain sight in Bucharest for a few years.

● His skin no longer pale. His hair is sometimes a golden sheen under sunlight.

● His eyes are a bright green.

● He still has his Father’s resources.

● He still has his skills.

● He still has his weapons.

● Sometimes he still hears Lilith even though he knows it can’t be.

2014 .

● Moving to Munich, he fell in love with the Architecture of the city.

● He was almost mauled by a werewolf, suspecting it first as an old demon coming to collect a debt he had owed or Valentine had.

● He only lasts a few months before rumors start spreading that the Clave might be circling him.

● He drops everything and changes his Alias for the 3rd time.

● It’s snowing when he makes it to Amsterdam.

● He falls easy prey to the many offers of the city ─ mundane and supernatural alike.

● Find favor in a local warlock, he seduces him for information and protection.

● Keeping himself safe for another few years.

2017 .

● Leaving on somewhat good terms, he re-settles in Bolungarvík, finding it much easier to assimilate in a small town.

● Building a life as a complete stranger and carving the smallest footprint available as his own home.

● He picks out land on the outskirt of the town, much closer to the mountains where it reminded him of home than to the sea.

● He gets back into Woodwork.

● Eventually, sparking up a relationship with the local fishermen he gets the occasional job when he needs it.

2019 .

● He gets a dog.

● For the first time, it’s not named Jace.

● He names him Wednesday.

#𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓.┋study.#long post tw #this took me three hours #i hate that #but ill probbaly edit / fix details tomorrow #but ayy it here

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robobirdie · 4 years ago

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Fan Story Forward

I have long struggled with mental illness my entire life and in 2012 during a very low period in my life I got a little parrot I named R2 even though we always called him Tooie. I had always wanted a bird, a living dinosaur, ever since I was very young and given my state my family thought it best to get me a companion parrot. He helped me get through many troubled times but in 2018 my beloved companion Parrot when he passed away suddenly July 12 at only six years old from a fungal infection. Just three months later my cat Keiko a beloved companion of 14 years was diagnosed with cancer in the jaw bone the week of Halloween. She was given only a week to live but hung on till February 26 of 2019. R2 loved watching TV with the family or when people played video games. My younger sister got me into watching Ninjago around late 2016 and I came to love it and so did he. Watching the show helped me feel better whenever times were low. I didn’t get into the Nexo Knights till after he passed but knowing him he would have loved it too. I had gotten into the Elder Scrolls series in 2012 during my very low period and it really helped me get by and both R2 and Keiko enjoyed hanging out watching as I played Elder Scrolls games. I’ve always been strongly creative and often write, draw or work digitally to create things and shortly after R2 passed I had started to come up with an idea involving three of the things we loved the most; a story involving the ninja and Nexo Knights. I only started writing however shortly after Keiko passed. I wrote this story as a sort of way to get over the grief of their loss. When I started I had a sense of where the story was going but no real end and many aspects were still blank. I was heavily inspired by the Elder Scrolls series particularly the third instalment Morrowind, the fourth instalment Oblivion and its Shivering Isles expansion plus the most recent instalment Elder Scrolls Online which my younger sister got me as a birthday gift in 2019. This inspiration is heavily noticed in environments, names and parts of the mythology in the story. While the story deals with the very dark subject matter of death and grief I tried to keep it light and keep in plenty of humor despite the dark subject matter. I also tried to keep it light enough in tone for young children which is very hard when dealing with such a dark subject. I originally wanted to keep it short but as I was writing I found that really was not going to work. The story became so complex that restricting it in size was not really wise. I knew from the start I was going to focus on two of the ninja similarly to how the show works. The two I chose are my two favorites', Zane and Cole (if you’re wondering Aaron and Clay are my two favourite knights). As I wrote I began to feel the story was best put into two parts. While the two are focused on through the whole story the focus is more prominent to Zane during the first half and Cole in the second. Part one is titled The Land of Ice and Ash while the second is titled The land of Stone and Shadow.

I have seen all the Nexo Knight seasons and Ninjago up to season 13 of the show so it will fit chronologically up till this point. It also takes aspects from Tomy Andersons story "Way of the Departed" since I have read those. Overall it is not heavily reliant on other seasons being focused on the story at hand though there are times when content from other seasons is implemented. Taking hint from what one of Ninjagos creators said, I believe it was Tommy, the knights and ninja are given a pretty hard time in the story but that helps propel the story and make it interesting. They are thrust into a strange world with strange people who have mixed views of them many hating them and beings who wish to destroy them at every turn. Overall I believe it is a fun, entertaining and heart warming story. It might even help you get over any grieving you might be having. It did that for me.

Originally when I started writing this story I had intended for the Knights of the Prong to be Legos Nexo Knights but did not know how to properly bring them in so simply came up with the Knights of the Prong as a stand in and this helped me get the story out. I always felt I could do more with the knights and as I have gotten close to the end I finally figured out how I was going to bring in the Nexo Knights and I think it offers more to the story The ninja are still the major focus of the story but the knights have their part and help flush out some parts and offer a different view of this place the two groups find themselves in. Like with the ninja the parts with the knights is not heavily reliant on the seasons of the Nexo Knights but does rely that you know who the Nexo Knights are and a bit of a back story on them.

For those who don't know about the Nexo Knights here is a bit of back story to help you know who they are:

The Nexo Knights come from a place called Knighton where they fight monsters created by a necromancer named Monstrux. They work with the great over 300 year old wizard Merlok who gives the knights magical aid to boost the knights powers against monsters. Due to an accident he became digitized. With help from two knights in training Ava a tech master and Robin a mechanic and inventing expert he was integrated into the knights moving fortress a vehicle called the Fortrex. The two are children and rarely get directly into a fight often working in the background alongside Merlok. Ava prefers her technology over magic and Robin aspires to be a full knight like his role model Clay. Clay Moorington is Merloks nephew even though for the longest time he did not know this. He wields a sword and is leader for the knights being the most serious and devoted to the knights code to protect others. During the 3rd and 4th season he got corrupted by Monstruxs magic which turned him to stone. He cured himself when he unlocked a power with magic he did not know he had. His mother was a wizard like her brother Merlok but got corrupted by monstruxs dark magic turning her evil when Clay was young. Macy Halbert is the daughter to Knightons rulers the king and queen however she prefers to be a knight over a princess often sneaking her weapon, a mace, and armor in to places when she is supposed to be doing princess duties. She is the second most serious about being a knight and cares little for the duties of a princess. Aaron Fox is the groups archer wielding a crossbow and is an ultimate adrenaline junky thrill seeker often using his knights shield as a hover board during a fight or for fun. While he often doesn't seem it he is serious about his duties as a knight. While Clay was corrupted he took over as leader for the knights taking his new role seriously. He is most often wearing headphones. Axl, who has no last name, is the muscle of the group wielding a war axe. He's kind, gentle, plays music and loves food. His younger sister has a crush on Robin which makes Robin uncomfortable. Lance Richmond is the spoiled party son of a rich lord. He's super into his good looks and social media and has been known to pay others off to do or finish jobs for him. Despite this he does take his role as a knight seriously despite originally not wanting much to do with the life of a knight. He has a pet pig named Hamletta and a little sister who's training to be a knight like him. The knights have special shields which can harness Merloks magic for use in combat. Another prominent character who does make it into the story as well is Jestro the courts royal jester. While not a knight he trained alongside the others and is a deep friend of Clays. He is very insecure and anxious and tends to have the unfortunate luck of falling to evil influences, particularly Monstrux, despite his attempts to avoid them. Even when corrupted he’s hesitant to truly hurt the knights preferring to just mess with them.

I am a strong visually orientated person so as I went I created many concept arts to help me visualize environments, creatures, layouts and characters in the story. I will include these with the story so you can help visualize things as well. Many of these artworks you can find here: https://www.deviantart.com/nerdy-hyena/gallery/72478681/story-project

Overall I believe it is a fun, entertaining and heart warming story. It might even help you get over any grieving you might be having. It did that for me.

Keiko and R2:

As in all Elder Scrolls games there is a prophecy that foretells of heroes journey for the ninja their prophecy as foretold by the scrolls is:

“The scrolls foretold of this; His defeat was merely a delay; after the oni would fall the dragons would fail. When their wings are clipped and they have fallen to shadow the border between realms shall weaken and fall and darkness shall come. Realms once light and familiar shall be covered in shadows, shadows that are in plain view yet hidden consuming the world in darkness. There is only one this darkness fears; one of its own. But to gain this darkness and for the realms to be saved knights must fall to ash and shadow and dragons must enter the tower of first light and fall to its darkness in order for realms to see the light.”

To find all chapters look here: https://robobirdie.tumblr.com/archive

You can also find a copy of the story written here https://archiveofourown.org/works/34894561/chapters/86888878 and here https://www.wattpad.com/1087355671-ninjago-the-oni-scrolls-foreword-important-info You can also find images pertaining to the story here: https://www.deviantart.com/nerdy-hyena/gallery/72478681/story-project

#ninjago #fanstory #ninjagofanstory #elderscrolls #nexo knights #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #ninjago nya #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #ninjago lloyd

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chlostertalks · 5 years ago

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Westworld Timeline (My Best Guess) – Post-Season 3 Finale

Updated May 4th, 2020 (after S3E8)

“If this is still now, and if we are indeed still here.” -Solomon, S3E7

The show creators want us to experience the world the way the hosts learn about their world and the world, which is why the timeline is so confusing. I've hammered it down as best I can, even with Season 2 causing brain damage a second time.

The year 2052 threw me off so much after S3E7, because Charlotte said that she infiltrated Delos "for the last few weeks" rather than what I thought was the last few years. I thought Dolores and Caleb were the only ones in 2058, but it turns out that all the characters were in the same year, so Seasons 1 and 2 occurred the year before rather than six years before. I had to reconstruct my timeline into what it is now below.

Rather than fitting Season 3 into the collective understanding of the timeline of Seasons 1 and 2, I had to structure Seasons 1 and 2 around the timeline of Season 3.

TL;DR:

The season 2 post-credit is finally explained

Caleb was born the same year as the Westworld massacre (and ironically on Groundhog Day)

The 2052 security footage of Maeve may be an off-camera event that parallels her exploring the Mesa in Season 1 (because nothing else makes sense with this arbitrary date)

A Refresher:

Season 1 sets up Westworld and the Reveries update (part of Ford's grand plan to do what Arnold tried doing a long time ago). The hosts are free…under Ford's control. They're merely slaves to a loop and the guests that hurt them.

Season 2 sets up the Arnold Project and the Delos Project, and that below the Valley Beyond is a room full of servers containing the Forge (all the park data) and the Sublime (a safe haven simulation for hosts). The season itself also shows other Delos Destination parks. Explores the idea that the next phase in human evolution is humanoid robots (hosts). Humans enslave hosts, only to want to be like hosts and achieve immortality.

Season 3 branches outside all the Delos Destination parks, showing that the very guests that visited the park were also part of a global loop controlled by Rehoboam. Explores the idea that hosts are controlled by humans, who are controlled by AI.

In the Previous Years….

Arnold's son, Charlie, dies.

Arnold wrote half of Westworld's code in 2017. (S1E7)

In S1E3, Ford explains that he, Arnold, and a team of engineers begin living on the park grounds to build the hosts. It was a three-year creation process before the park ever opened, so creation began in 2020.

All the interrogation sessions are of Arnold and Dolores; they begin here. All the times when hosts freeze all motor functions are with Arnold.

"You should get back, Dolores, before someone misses you."

Arnold gives Dolores a maze to follow so she can find herself. She will follow the maze three times in her lifetime in the park: once here, once with William, and once before the attack at the end of season 1.

2023 (34 Years before 2057/Season 1):

After achieving consciousness via the maze for the first time, Dolores kills all the hosts, Arnold, and herself to stop the opening of Westworld (S1E10). The park will open anyway, but Arnold almost achieved shutting down the place.

Meanwhile, Caleb is born February 2nd (Groundhog Day). We know this from S3E7, just above his left middle finger:

In the Years in Between:

Akecheta, chief of the Ghost Nation, was on a different loop. He was peaceful, and had a wife. He discovers the massacre and the maze but before he knew the voice inside his head, his narrative was changed, and the Ghost Nation was born.

The Arnold Project (before the Delos Project)

Any time there are black bars above and below the footage, the audience is watching a simulation.

Because it's impossible to have complete fidelity remain outside the Forge simulation and in the real world (as William will soon find out throughout the Delos Project), she allows him to have behaviors unlike Arnold to be separate from Arnold and function.

Thus, Dolores and Ford create Bernard Lowe for the real world. This is how he is part host and part human.

Dolores is wiped and reset after creating Bernard.

Logan Delos sees the prototypes for Westworld; park needs funding

Husbandry robotics

Riot robots (used in the Season 3 finale)

George (site survey and construction)

Delos Destinations (Westworld and five other parks)

2025:

A thermonuclear incident occurs in Paris October 9th. (we know this from the Westworld Season 3 date announcement)

Engerraund Serac and his brother Jean Michel (Jean-Mi) watch as their loved ones and city are gone in an instant. This moment inspires the brothers’ creation of Solomon and, later, Rehoboam.

2027 (30 Years before 2057/Season 1):

Dolores meets William during her first quest to find the center of the maze a second time; William’s experience leads to his funding Westworld and saving them from closure; leaves photograph behind, showing that William’s tale from Episodes 2-9 set up the pilot and the season finale

William had been engaged to Juliet for a year upon his arrival at the park

Dolores achieves consciousness again, paralleling her third achievement in 2057 in S1E10

Dolores' memory is wiped after achieving consciousness a second time.

After William leaves the park….

Akecheta finds Logan in the middle of a desert after his horse dies. William had spanked the horse with Logan tied to it, and the horse ran as far as it could. Logan is insane and doesn’t know his way out. He told Logan that his kind would come for him, but he learned from Logan that there is another world. Possibly why the Forge simulation itself takes on Logan’s image.

William would come back to the park one month out of the year to unleash his true self (S3E8).

William convinced Mr. Delos (Logan’s dad) to back Westworld after William bought Logan’s share; shows the possibilities of market research, explaining the ton of data they collected over the years.

The market research turns into achieving immortality, preserving their conscious minds in control units and placing the control units in drones. It’s pivoted as the next step in human evolution. This becomes the Delos Project.

William’s daughter Emily meets Dolores at Mr. James Delos’ retirement party. Logan is permanently insane.

Mrs. Delos died of a stroke, and Logan goes insane and ODs.

Through the Delos Project, William tries, over the next 30 years, to preserve Mr. Delos and bring him back to the real world after he dies of cancer. Mr. Delos’ mind is preserved as a perfect virtual copy in the Forge, but the problem is bringing that copy into being in the Mesa and in the real world. If William can do that, the possibilities are endless. However, it fails multiple times.

William will grow to loathe the Delos project by 2057, and believe that "no system can tell me who I am. That I have a…choice" (S2E10). It feeds into what the entire series explores: whether or not there is free choice.

Mr. Delos’ last conversation with Logan becomes Mr. Delos’ cornerstone of his copy in the Forge.

2031:

Caleb’s mom abandons him March 20th. She is found months later, and is institutionalized as a result of her schizophrenia September 25th. This scene itself is shown S3E3. The dates are shown S3E7 (see 2023 photos).

In the Years in Between....

Akecheta looks for Logan at Westworld, but he is already gone. He instead finds the Valley Beyond, a door to another world—the Sublime, a safe haven or Garden of Eden, if you will. The Valley Beyond will also be known as Glory. He tries to take his wife from his former life, Kohana, to the Valley Beyond, and she remembers him, but the Westworld staff takes her away for decommissioning. He was afraid that, if he would die, he would lose her memory. He also noticed that more of his family was decommissioned and replaced.

William visits Dolores frequently at the park, and tells her of the plan of the Valley Beyond. William will build both the Valley Beyond and the Forge to record guest data and use it to achieve immortality.

Akecheta looks for his love and, for the first time ever, allows himself to die. He hasn’t been updated in 10 years because he had never died. He finds B83 and his love, but sees that she will no longer live. Thus, he dedicates his life to recreating the maze throughout the park so that the other hosts can find themselves and be free.

2037:

The Second Russian Civil War starts in Moscow, according to the Westworld Season 3 date announcement. Caleb and Francis will soon fight in this war.

In the years in between….

Serac and Jean-Mi create Solomon for Incite. Mr. Dempsey, the founder of Incite and Liam’s father, wants to predict the stock market for personal monetary gain, but the Serac brothers see something more in Solomon.

2039:

Solomon Build System initiated (we know this from the Westworld Season 3 date announcement)

This is a previous Rehoboam build by the Serac brothers. This is what Dolores and Caleb will find 19 years later in Sonora, Mexico.

In S3E7, Dolores explains that Solomon developed so many anomalies and inherited Jean-Mi’s “schizophrenic…way of thinking.”

2042:

Caleb graduates high school June 5th. He enlists in the army December 22nd, and will later fight in Crimea alongside Francis during the Russian Civil War.

Caleb begins training in Park 5 of the Delos Destinations. According to Dolores in S3E8, the government wanted "live" targets, and her creators were happy to supply. Like all Delos Destinations, the hats recorded every decision, including Caleb to not only choose not to harm the hosts, but also to encourage his comrades to do the same. He saved hosts, including a reassigned Dolores and Hanaryo, from being raped. His capacity to choose is why Dolores will choose Caleb for her mission outside the park 16 years later.

We know the dates from S3E3 (see 2049 photo) and S3E7 (see 2023 photos)

2043:

Jean-Mi asks Solomon to make a strategy; it’s his final request before his reeducation, according to Dolores in S3E7.

Jean-Mi goes mentally insane, so Engerraund checks Jean-Mi in a reeducation facility where he can monitor and manipulate him. The institutions, one being called Inner Journeys, are for outliers. The centers were meant to turn their minds inside-out so that they could fit Solomon’s (and later Rehoboam’s) society and be less of a threat. However, only 1 in 10 people reentered the world after reeducation; the outliers were so unpredictable, it was better to remove them from the world than have Rehoboam try to control them (a decommissioning, if you will).

In the years in between….

Engerraund also kills Mr. Dempsey and stages it as a plane crash.

2048:

Caleb has a skull fracture May 9th (see 2049 photo) (1:28).

Caleb and Francis are in Crimea to hunt down an insurgent group called the Diehards, even though the Diehards were also hunting them. One of Caleb’s men dies in an explosion, and shrapnel hits him in the head, causing the fracture.

On May 11th, Caleb and Francis are honorably discharged, but Caleb won’t remember this as a result of his reeducation.

We know the dates not only from S3E3 (see 2049 photo), but also from when Caleb asks Solomon about Francis in S3E7 (see 2023 photos)

In the months in between….

Caleb and Francis robbed banks and murdered people through the RICO app. The app was designed for people to make money off murders and robberies, but in reality, it was used for U-class citizens to get rid of other outliers. Caleb and Francis were the best at it.

2049:

On April 4th, Caleb and Francis were tasked to murder the creator of the pharmaceutical company that produced memory-altering drugs (including the limbic wafers that correspond to reeducated people with drips installed in their mouths, like Francis)(not sure if it includes the Genre drug); the creator tells Caleb the truth, and since Caleb now knew the truth, he would be reeducated. Caleb turns and kills Francis and the creator after a bounty is immediately placed on both his head and Francis’ head.

Caleb nearly commits suicide when he ends up in Sonora May 4th.

We know the date from S3E3 when Dolores shows Rehoboam’s prediction of his suicide (below) (10:08). We know the date of his treatment center visit from S3E7 (see 2023 photos)

In the facility, Caleb becomes U454.1, and is reeducated on how he got to the facility in the first place. He’s trained to believe that Francis died in combat.

The reeducated backstory: After the incident in Crimea, Caleb and Francis captured the leader of the insurgent Diehards. The “leader” is the man that told him the truth about the world. The insurgents ambush Francis and Caleb, killing Francis and triggering his PTSD.

Caleb was not only one of the first people to be reeducated, he was one of the 10% of successful patients. Once reeducated after three months, Caleb is sent out into the world to be a construction worker who occasionally goes on RICO. This is how Dolores will find him in 2057.

2052:

Maeve tries escaping the first known time (we know this date from the Westworld website—since removed, but photo is below)

But now that Westworld has made it obvious that Season 3 is in 2058, and it's only months removed from Season 2, which is immediately after the attack in Season 1, it's hard to pinpoint this date that was once on the Westworld website.

It may be from a past life that we did not see on camera, as Felix explained to Maeve S1E6 that "hosts get reassigned all the time"

Being that she's one of the park originals, Maeve has been around for a long time, and therefore, her time with her daughter may not be her first narrative

Like Dolores, she may have achieved consciousness once before–we the audience may not know this yet, and that may have been what was depicted on the website.

2055:

Caleb has a 5-month romantic relationship end by system interference October 2nd. This suggests that Rehoboam controls people’s lives.

We know the date from S3E3 when Dolores shows Rehoboam’s prediction of his suicide. This date is just below her right hand (see 2049 photo).

2056:

Juliet commits suicide after seeing William’s card from the Valley Beyond. It details the things he did in Westworld, videos and all. She leaves the card behind for Emily to see; it’s inside her 16th birthday present.

William does something truly evil (below) and feels nothing.

In exchange for her saving his life, Akecheta tries protecting Maeve’s daughter. However, William has other plans, shooting Maeve and her daughter, leaving Maeve to die on the maze Akecheta drew, and forcing the Westworld staff to assign Maeve to a new story: madam at the Mariposa.

Akecheta finds Ford as he constructs a new story. Ford knew that he was going to die by Dolores’ hand, and told Akecheta that when that day comes, he needed to gather his people and go to the Valley Beyond.

2057/Season 1:

Ford's months-long grand plan is put in motion. This plan will include:

The Reveries update (allows the hosts to access Arnold's code and possibly achieve freedom)

Reconstruction of Escalante while using half the park's resources

Writing a new narrative

Pulling hosts out of narratives

Letting Dolores and Maeve make their own choices

Letting Clementine fight back and demonstrate what Delos considers a fault in the Reveries update

Drinking to the lady with the white shoes with Old Bill

Retiring and allowing Dolores to kill him

Peter Abernathy is decommissioned after he sees a photograph of the real world; turns out to be William’s wife, Juliet

Maeve tries escaping a second time

William and Dolores begin a quest to find the center of the maze

Since Westworld is just another world to conquer, and he sees himself as a "Titan of industry," he must finish this quest to conquer Westworld to find his purpose.

She is retracing her steps with no concept of time

Some of her retracing is mixed in her flashbacks with William and Logan, including the graveyard, orgy house, and train scenes.

Maeve begins piecing together what Sweetwater really is. She finds old doodles and signs of the Livestock engineers. She begins dying repeatedly in order to find the Livestock engineers. She'll awaken multiple times, and force engineers Felix and Sylvester to provide answers on what this park really is. She also gets new powers and personality modifications out of it.

Elsie finds that Maurice (the host that smashes his head in) was implanted with a satellite uplink. He was drawing a target that looked similar to Orion's belt to smuggle data out of the park, and has been doing it for weeks. As Elsie investigates, Bernard abducts her and abandons her for three weeks.

Ford begins displacing more hosts, ruining the years of hard work that Lee Sizemore put into narratives. He also talks to Dolores, and she lies, telling him that she hasn't made contact with Arnold in over 34 years--the day of the massacre.

"He doesn't know. I didn't tell him anything." (S1E5)

Ford finds William and Teddy at a bar. William explains to Ford that he's looking for purpose and meaning, something he believes he will find by playing Ford's game

Ford: "Well if you're looking for the moral of the story, you could quite simply ask."

William: "I need a shovel. The man I'd be asking died [roughly] 35 years ago. Almost took this place with him. Almost, but not quite, thanks to me."

Bernard wants to learn about the 5 unregistered hosts of Sector 17--the replicas of Ford and his family. The area is designated off-limits for future narratives. It is also later in S1E6 that Bernard learns he is part-human (Arnold) and part-host.

Charlotte and Theresa continue devising a plan to overthrow Ford and to keep smuggling data out the park. Charlotte knows that the only thing the board cares about is the IP they need for the Delos project. She also has a hidden agenda as Serac's mole.

Using Clementine in the demonstration to show what Delos finds a fault in the Reveries update

Firing Bernard

Wanting to lobotomize hosts within the next six months in order to reverse what they see as damage

Late 2057/The Attack (season 1 finale):

William finds the center of the maze, but it was never for him

Bernard makes a copy of Ford. This copy will taunt him for part of Season 2.

Dolores achieves consciousness a third time via the maze and kills Ford and some board members. Unlike the last massacre in 2023, this one is by choice

Maeve achieves consciousness again and creates an escape army

Charlotte plants the key to the Forge and Sublime in Peter Abernathy’s head to smuggle out the park for Serac; breaks him mentally

Charlotte leaves a message for her son Nathan via a host (revealed in season 3)

Late 2057/One Week after the Attack (meat and potatoes of season 2):

Dolores' rancher's daughter and Wyatt personalities have merged, as the Bicameral Mind song alluded to in the opening scene of the pilot. She goes on a killing spree of the guests, but also mentions repeatedly that "not everyone gets to go to the Valley Beyond" to justify killing hosts.

Bernard escapes the park with Charlotte.

Bernard tries getting Peter Abernathy for Charlotte, but plans are foiled by Dolores. Bernard hides with Dolores' army.

Dolores finds her father, Peter Abernathy. She asks Bernard for help, but he can’t do a whole lot.

During a battle between the Confederados and the Delos security team, Clementine drags Bernard to a cave where Elsie is. It’s where Ford commanded him to leave her after the events in season 1. He begins leaking cortical fluid, so Elsie rushes him back to the Mesa.

Maeve, Sizemore, Sylvester, Felix, Hector, and Armistice journey through Shogun World to shortcut into Westworld and find Maeve’s daughter. They learn that Sizemore copied narratives throughout other parks.

The Delos Destinations:

Westworld (Seasons 1-3)

Shogun World (Season 2)

The Raj (Season 2)

War World (Season 3)

Park 5 (Season 3)

Medieval World (Game of Thrones cameo in Season 2)

William visits James Delos copy #149 and tells him how he and his family died. The copy goes insane, and Bernard and Elsie later find James and destroy him.

Bernard and Elsie fear that the Cradle, where the backups of the host data live, is in jeopardy, so they head to that section in the Mesa to save it. Ford's copy from S1E10 takes Bernard’s free will away from him because he doesn’t have it in him to survive. Ford will command him again to leave her.

Elsie keeps bugging Bernard on what he found in the Cradle, but he doesn’t tell her. Instead, he has her find a car for the Valley Beyond, and splits from her to handle some other things for Ford. He later severs his ties from Ford to begin thinking on his own, and rejoins Elsie.

Angela destroys the Cradle anyway, and Bernard destroys the security system to allow Dolores to have full control and take the key inside Peter Abernathy.

Seeing that, by Charlotte placing the key in his head, he is broken and “dying,” Dolores kills Peter, and gets the pearl from his control unit. She now has the key to the Forge and the Sublime in her possession.

William has to play a game that involves his past. His past conveniently finds him in the form of his daughter Emily, who escaped from the Raj park and somehow ends up in Westworld. Hallucinating and asking for Ford, William kills Emily, thinking she is a host. However, he realizes she was human when she has his data card in her hand.

William questions whether or not he has a choice to do good or evil things or if it's part of his code, which is explored in Season 3

Dolores reprograms Teddy so that he'll no longer feel conflicted on following along with Dolores' revolution. The reprogramming drives him to suicide.

Bernard leaves Elsie behind in the park. He heads to the Valley Beyond and runs into Dolores. They find the room of servers that hold the Forge in the Mesa, located just below the Valley Beyond.

Within the Valley Beyond:

The Forge: holds guest data and James Delos' memories, among other things (the Forge itself takes on the image of Logan)

The Sublime: a safe haven for hosts

Dolores learns about the park data while in the Forge itself with Bernard. She begins studying humans, and possibly which ones to target in the real world.

The Valley Beyond holds a promise of a virtual Eden called the Sublime, where hosts are free and no longer slaves to these parks. Dolores believes that it’s just another cage, and she wants the real world, so she begins destroying the servers that support the Forge and the Sublime.

To Dolores, the Sublime is basically a place where the hosts are only in simulation on someone's server, and can easily be deleted

Bernard shoots Dolores, saving the Sublime and the Forge, but the servers' room begins flooding. That flood will carry above ground, closing the door to the Sublime and creating a flood above ground in The Valley Beyond (Sector 16, Zone 4).

Bernard imagines Ford’s voice guiding him on next steps, but he’s really listening to his own voice for the first time. He creates a host Charlotte, but with Dolores’ control unit. Host Charlotte kills real Charlotte.

Host Charlotte saves the Sublime itself (about 2 exabytes of data), redirecting it via satellite to an undisclosed location on earth.

"We are capable of change. And I've changed my mind." -Dolores as host Charlotte

Dolores saves the Sublime while as host Charlotte, even though she tried destroying it moments earlier.

Host Charlotte kills Elsie because she’s too caught up in her own self-interest of wanting to be promoted and helping out on the Delos project. (Could also be a metaphor in killing off audience questions because she constantly wanted clarity on what the hell is going on in Westworld)

Elsie had similar interests as Theresa, who had similar interests as Charlotte. Would make no sense for real Charlotte to kill her, which is why Dolores disguised as host Charlotte did.

Bernard scrambles his own memory and leaves himself on the beach as the server room floods.

Late 2057/Two Weeks after the Attack (season 2 premiere and finale)

Bernard washes up on the beach to start season 2. Strand and the Delos security team are in the middle of an investigation, and Strand, Stubbs, and host Charlotte bring Bernard along to see if he can piece together what happened two weeks ago.

Host Charlotte reveals to the team that Bernard is a host (because she’s Dolores in disguise and already knows about Bernard). They enter the house of Ford’s original hosts (designed in his own and his family’s image) and discover all the copies of Bernard hanging on meat hooks in the RDF basement.

Bernard is basically put in custody, and host Charlotte forces him to give directions to the security team on where Peter Abernathy’s control unit lives

Bernard and the security team head to the Valley Beyond. The security team drain the Valley Beyond and the room where the Forge servers live. Host Charlotte kills Strand. She later sends an encryption key to Delos, and Delos finally sends help off the island after two weeks. Bernard reveals what he did after the attack. Charlotte reveals herself as Dolores and kills everyone.

In the Months in Between….

No one’s picked up on host Charlotte’s host status other than Stubbs, who is a host himself. He gives host Charlotte clearance, and she’s free to leave the park. She leaves with 5 pearls.

In the season 2 finale, Bernard and Dolores are back in their host bodies, and are in Arnold’s old house. Dolores saves Bernard’s pearl and implants it a body she made for him. Host Charlotte is functioning, but with a different pearl. Dolores saves Bernard as a check and balance of her power rather than as an ally or a friend.

Bernard shaves his head and tries getting by without people recognizing him. He's been wanted for three months.

Late 2057/Season 3: (personal theory of when this happened on the timeline)

Dolores makes it into the real world, back into her own body, and cuts her hair into an asymmetrical bob. She begins going after guests that once frequented the park. We see this in the opening scene of the season premiere.

Bernard returns to Westworld, located on the South China Sea, after months of hiding (and in spite of a warrant being out for his arrest), and programs Stubbs to protect him. He is looking for Maeve, but finds that she is not only decommissioned, but her control unit is missing. He has a remote and answers questions via a tablet as if he’s talking to Ford.

Maeve is in a simulation within a simulation--she's a host in War World, but the Delos Destination and Mesa she's taken to when killed in War World are within a simulation themselves. Still aware of who she is, she tries busting out the park again. Maeve, with the help of the copy Lee Sizemore (the real Sizemore died in season 2, as expected), tries to break out of both simulations and the physical Mesa itself. Through a help bot in the Mesa, she finds her control unit and makes a break for it, but the help bot is gunned down.

In San Francisco, Serac is introduced as a former park guest and, while at Incite, created the AI technology Rehoboam. He narrates the season 3 date announcement video. He slowly bought out the board (38% ownership over two decades). He’s trying to take over Delos via a mole inside the company (real Charlotte—RIP), and use the intel gathered on Westworld guests to feed into Rehoboam and control the globe outside the park with a better perfected algorithm. This is why Charlotte and Theresa had common interests when they were alive. It also explains the plot of the season: Rehoboam gathers every bit of intel on people to build a new world where, in Dolores’ words, “It’s not about who you are....It’s who they’ll let you become.”

Maybe Serac was a primary shareholder and the very reason why Delos wouldn’t send help until Peter Abernathy and all the park data was smuggled out of Westworld

What Incite makes/runs:

The cars we see throughout the season

Psycho Pharmacology (bought out the pharmaceutical company run by the creator that Caleb kills in 2049)

Virtual Assistant (the earpiece Dolores wears)

Rehoboam

RICO

Delos’ assets (which will soon be destroyed—Serac only wants the data)

Also in San Francisco, host Charlotte struggles being inside a different body. She’s learning about Charlotte and her personality as she goes, but is in constant confusion. Could be like the James Delos copies where they lose their minds in trying to achieve fidelity to the original person. Nathan, real Charlotte’s son, quickly learns that Host Charlotte isn’t his real mom.

Delos begins testing one of 300 riot robots that will be used in S3E8

Host Charlotte learns that someone smuggled Maeve out the park (S3E3). When Charlotte later meets Serac, she learns that original Charlotte (RIP) was one of his moles, but not the only one.

Charlotte used Maurice (the guy that smashes his head in) to smuggle data out of the park for him (S1E5)(see In the Years in between 2052 and 2055).

William admits in S3E7 that he sold some of Delos’ data to Serac in order to raise capital for the park, but it's not possible for him to be a mole, as he feels that Serac stole his company from him

Host Charlotte reveals to William that she’s a Dolores copy. William freaks out and is immediately deemed incompetent. She pricks him for blood, and he’s taken to a mental institution, Inner Journeys Recovery Center (the place where Serac took his brother) while all his shares transfer to the acting president of Delos: Charlotte.

We know William is there based on a quick shot in S3E4. It's later confirmed in S3E7.

(Bernard and Stubbs will later learn the location of this site from Martin in S3E6)

In a hallucination, William is taunted by Dolores in her traditional Westworld clothing while in the Inner Journeys mental institution

Someone stole Maeve for Serac. He wants Maeve to kill Dolores, for he believes the encryption key in her pearl unlocks all the data on Delos’ park guests through the years. Maeve doesn’t want to, and motions to kill him, but he stops her with a remote very similar to Bernard’s (most remotes wipe out surveillance tapes, but this one controls a host). Later in Singapore, Serac tells Maeve that humanity’s biggest threat is itself, and that Rehoboam was designed to predict and prevent disaster. The most complete portrait of the map of the human mind lies in the encryption key inside Dolores. In return for Dolores, Serac will give Maeve the key to the Sublime after getting it from Dolores.

Serac and Maeve go to Arnold’s old house, now confirmed to be in Singapore, and find that Dolores has made 5 hosts—3 women and 2 men.

In Jakarta, Maeve tries tracking down Dolores. She finds that Dolores got a body from the yakuza (gang) and a man named Sato is in charge. She finds him in Itaidoshin Distillery (“to be of the same mind, even though we may have many bodies”). The kegs are full of the paste used to make hosts, meaning Dolores is making an army. Sato is not only one of the samurai from Shogun World, he turns out to be one of Dolores’ five hosts, and we further learn that Dolores has copied herself into four hosts. The only host she didn’t copy herself into is Bernard as a check and balance.

Dolores as host Charlotte smuggled five pearls out the park: four copies of herself and Bernard.

The Four Hosts of Dolores: Charlotte, Sato, Martin, and Lawrence

Sato stabs Maeve, and removes a tracking device from her control unit.

2058/Season 3

Dolores has been hunting down former guests for months. She begins dating Liam Dempsey, the figurehead of Incite, Inc., for answers. Incite created an AI system called Rehoboam, and it has detected a mole that could be after some IP (real Charlotte with Delos’ IP?). Liam wishes he could turn Rehoboam off, but lost access after his father, the co-founder of Incite, died. Only the original architect (Serac) knows how to turn it off. If he tells her the architect’s name, Rehoboam will know and he will die.

Real Martin Connells knocks Dolores out, and tells Liam that she is a spy; he tries killing her quietly, but she kills all his henchmen, and has host Martin kill real Martin. Caleb, an LA resident down on his luck and missing his deceased friend Francis, finds her after she is shot over the melee.

Dolores clues Caleb in on Rehoboam. It’s an AI system that is the framework of a company named Incite. Incite is doing what Delos tried to do, but in a different way; they collected data years before privacy laws to create a replica world with all these replica people. Moreover, Incite uses Rehoboam to predict how people’s lives will go. In Caleb’s case, he will commit suicide in 12 years, according to his file and based on Rehoboam’s algorithm. It’s why he can’t get a job and get ahead in life. Incite is deciding what people’s lives should be, and predicting people’s outcomes in lives.

But Dolores supposedly hates humans for what they did to her at Westworld, or at least that's the front she puts on. She wants humanity to have free choice to send the world back into chaos and let the world burn to the ground so it can start anew.

Dolores and Caleb plan to steal all of Liam Dempsey’s cash. Host Martin gets Liam’s fingerprint. Dolores knocks out Michael, the wealth manager of Liam’s assets. His blood is the encryption key to Liam’s account.

Dolores extracts some of his blood and injects it into Caleb. The blood key will only work for 20 minutes, but the transaction goes through and Liam’s assets are emptied.

Liam goes to an elaborate masquerade auction. He learns of a drug called Genre, which allows a person to have 5 different hallucinogenic experiences.

Bernard believes that Dolores killed Liam and made a host out of him, so he and Stubbs plan to capture Liam in order to see who else she compromised. They cross him at the auction after Liam finds that his funds have been depleted. They learn he is still a human just as Dolores crosses them and takes Liam.

While kidnapped, Liam injects Caleb with the Genre drug he got at the auction. Caleb begins hallucinating, and we the audience begin seeing more flashes of his past.

Dolores hacks Rehoboam and releases data to everyone on earth February 27th. The world learns that their fates were designed. (we know the date from the season 3 release date announcement; the way the video reacts is the way Serac’s watch reacts as he flies above chaos)

At the same time, William is in the recovery center in Sonora, Mexico. His therapist commits suicide by hanging after learning of her life projection. William is taken to augmented reality (AR) and group therapies, having a drip mouthpiece installed—the same one Caleb has.

Charlotte hacks into his files to learn of his whereabouts; she pricked his blood to place a tracker in him before he forcefully enters rehab S3E4 (unknown protein detected).

Bernard and Stubbs find William’s location from Martin. It’s safe to assume that, since Martin and Charlotte are part of Dolores, Martin learned about William’s location from Charlotte. Martin holds off Serac’s guards while Bernard and Stubbs head for Mexico.

Serac and Maeve are in a simulation of the Sublime. It’s just the two of them in the open field. Serac shows her what she can have if she achieves her mission. Maeve asks for help while Serac threatens a permanent end to her life.

While Maeve's body is being remade during Serac's recent acquisition of Delos, Serac does give her help in three old friends. Those bodies, along with Maeve’s, are being created in the background throughout S3E6. The friends are Hector, Clementine, and Hanaryo. Maeve will also be able to talk to Dolores while in simulation; she’s the host control unit in the blue panel below. The data on the unit is corrupted somehow.

The Hale family watches the world burn around them.

Serac is on to Charlotte’s true host identity. Charlotte begins setting Dolores’ plan in motion to take Incite down before Serac gets the encryption key. She learns of William’s whereabouts, and that someone removed the tracker on Maeve’s control unit. She also makes a backup copy of Delos’ data.

Serac only wants the encryption key inside Dolores' pearl in order to exploit data and feed it to Rehoboam; he orders everything else to burn to the ground—trillions of dollars. Serac’s hologram corners Charlotte in an emergency board meeting. He knows of Charlotte’s plan, as he’s watched her this whole time.

Charlotte: “I’ve bled Delos dry. I’ve been here for weeks cutting its data, money, resources, everything we need to survive. To beat you. And I just sent the last of the files we needed.”

Back in a simulation within a simulation because she must wait for a new body, Maeve once again has the power to see where her control unit lies, but now also has the power to see where Hector is and reprogram him to where he’s no longer in a loop. Maeve, Hector, and Sizemore find Dolores in a simulated RDF room where she used to meet Arnold in the early days of Westworld. Maeve doesn’t want to kill Dolores, but finds it unfair that Dolores has the encryption key to the Sublime and control over the outside world. Dolores doesn’t want to give the key of their kind to Maeve, who aligned with Serac (against her will). Dolores is also aware that Charlotte may or may not betray her.

“You want me to be a saint. But you’re no saint. You’re not a villain, either. And neither am I. We’re survivors." - Dolores

"All my life, I prided myself on surviving, but surviving is just another loop." -Maeve, S1E7

“I had to make some difficult choices. But I did them for all of us.” -Dolores

Charlotte makes a break for it, squashing Hector’s pearl, taking Dolores’ crusty control unit, and nearly destroying Maeve’s pearl before having to run from Serac’s henchmen. She recruits her riot robot to help her escape. As Charlotte picks up real Charlotte’s family, the car explodes, killing the human passengers. Charlotte emerges with third-degree burns, shocked at the carnage.

William is amid an AR group therapy simulation featuring James Delos and all his past selves. Realizing he’s been sadistic since childhood, James Delos asks rehab William if he chose his path or if fate decided for him. He destroys his past selves to find out who he really is. Bernard and Stubbs find him abandoned while in the therapy simulation, as the doctors ran off amid the chaos.

“Doesn’t matter where I’ve been, good or bad. Everything we’ve done has led to this. And I finally understand my purpose. I’m the good guy.”

His purpose becomes to kill all the hosts and restore balance to the human world.

Maeve emerges from the lab within the Mesa, new body and all. She waits for an old friend to emerge before taking matters into her own hands.

In an undisclosed location, Charlotte begins deviating from Dolores’ plan, realizing that Dolores cloned herself four times over, knowing the clones would die for the sake of the revolution (and against their consent). Charlotte uses Clementine and Hanaryo in Jakarta to kill Sato. Hanaryo takes Sato’s head with them.

In a simulation, Emily tests William for fidelity (season 2 post-credit)

Bernard and Stubbs catch up with William in Sonora, learning that Charlotte infected him with an unknown protein, and that he is pronounced dead by the reeducation facility. Because his reeducation was unsuccessful, he was declared dead.

Also in Sonora, Dolores and Caleb find Solomon, Rehoboam’s predecessor. They also find “decommissioned” (for lack of a better word) bodies of those who failed to be reeducated, including Jean-Mi.

“The projection did not fit the data, so the data had to change.” -Solomon

Dolores asks Solomon for Jean-Mi’s final strategy, which Solomon projected in 2043. Solomon noted that the strategy decoheres from the world (callback to title of S3E6, Decoherence). She buys Solomon time to make the strategy fit this world, and makes Caleb the catalyst for executing it. The prime movers are dead or decommissioned, however.

“If you (Dolores) die, I will adjust my projections.” -Solomon

Maeve appears, and begins to fight Dolores out back. Maeve uses telepathy to have a quadcopter blow Dolores’ arm off. She escapes back to where Solomon is. Maeve learns of Caleb, but as she readies her sword to kill Dolores, Dolores pushes Solomon’s EMP button, shutting all three of them down. Caleb finds Dolores as a virtual assistant gives him instructions.

Solomon had planned to warn Caleb of something, but doesn’t get the chance. That something may have been the end of humanity being in the final strategy.

Dolores somehow has Solomon upload Rehoboam's access info into her pearl while she's touching the EMP system.

William, Bernard, and Stubbs escape Inner Journeys out front. Bernard and Stubbs figured they may need William, so they keep him alive. They walk to a gas station to find a car so they can catch up to Dolores and Caleb. Bernard and Stubbs also piece together that Dolores will have Caleb destroy Rehoboam’s world.

“Dolores was made with a poetic sensibility. She won’t destroy humanity—he [Caleb] will.” -Bernard

William shoots Stubbs, and Bernard presses a button on his remote to go full assassin. The SFPD interfere, and William escapes. Bernard learns that one of the officers is Lawrence, the last copy of Dolores. Lawrence gives Bernard Sato’s suitcase and an address "to go see her" in Los Altos Hills, California.

27713 Ravens Road

Serac's assistant finds Dolores and Maeve's bodies. Dolores' pearl is missing, as Caleb takes it with him back to Los Angeles. The assistant brings Maeve back to Serac to be revived.

Once back in Los Angeles, Caleb finds the LA branch of the Itaidoshin Distillery, where Dolores left a trunk with another copy of her own body in case something happened to her. Caleb installs her pearl in the body, and she explains why she chose him as she puts the rest of her skin on.

After escaping, William wants access to his funds and to every location of Delos' assets.

Caleb and Dolores continue with the revolution. In the middle of the plan, host Charlotte returns, this time only to Dolores as a hologram (Dolores can see her through her contact lenses). Charlotte sees Dolores as a weakness to be shed, and sets her up so that Maeve can take her into Serac's custody.

Serac needs Maeve to finish her job to save the world. During the battle, Dolores reveals that all the hosts are copies of her. She was the first that worked, so Delos built all the hosts from her.

"You want to tear down their world and replace it with copies of yourself." -Maeve

"What becomes of this world will be up to them. And what you do will be up to you, as long as you don't try to stop me." -Dolores

"They're free, here, under my control." - Ford, S1E7

Bernard pays a visit to what he thought would be Dolores, but it's actually Arnold's widow, Lauren. She has aged in the decades since Charlie's death. Being that Bernard is part Arnold, he realizes he must come to grips with Charlie's death and memory before continuing on his mission.

After battling and hologram Charlotte's second interference, Maeve takes Dolores into custody at the Incite headquarters. Dolores is plugged into Rehoboam, and her memories are deleted in the hopes that the lack of memories will uncover the key.

Caleb gets into Incite's HQ, but is unable to upload Jean-Mi's final strategy from Solomon. Serac destroys the flash drive because, if the strategy was uploaded, human civilization would end in 50-125 years.

Serac promised to give Maeve the key to the Sublime once extracted from Dolores, but Rehoboam never promised anything. Turns out that Rehoboam controlled Serac through an earpiece, as Serac "in a word, gave [his voice] to [Rehoboam]" to save the world. Rehoboam guides them in order to keep the world in balance, but the world is tired of being puppets.

"I lived in the chaos. Now, I choose to listen, to obey." -Serac

In a simulation with one of Dolores' memories in an open field, Maeve soon realizes that Dolores never trusted herself with the key, and planted it in the pearl of someone else: Bernard.

"If you want me to trust you, let me inside your mind. Or I can force my way in." -Maeve

"Let them have their world. We can make our own." -Maeve

"I was angry at first. Torn between two impulses. We could annihilate them, or we can tear down their world in the hopes we could build a new one, one that's truly free. Then, we can bring the others back." -Dolores

As Dolores' last memories are wiped, Maeve overrides Serac's remote and kills his henchmen and leaves him to die. She reveals that Dolores' last memory was Solomon's access to Rehoboam, giving Caleb the choice to destroy Serac's work.

"She gave me a choice. I believe the rest of the world deserves one, too." -Caleb

Maeve chooses to align herself with Dolores' cause to help Caleb save the world.

In a motel, Bernard puts Stubbs in a tub of ice to keep him alive. He realizes that Dolores planted the key to the Forge and Sublime into his pearl, and that the suitcase has headgear to access it. Bernard enters the Sublime to figure out what he must do after the end of the world.

"I don't think she was trying to exterminate the human race. She was trying to save it. What's about to happen was always gonna happen. Serac and his brother were just holding it off. Humanity never reckoned with its own sins." -Bernard

"Our world had to burn down before we could be free." -Bernard

In the Not-Too-Distant Future…. (Season 3 Post-Credit Scene)

William reaches a Delos branch in Dubai, looking to see where the hosts "breed." Turns out host Charlotte escaped to the Dubai location, and is building an army of hosts. A host William emerges and slits the throat of the real William.

"We [Dolores and I] started in the same place, but I can see the error in the path she took. But you're right William. You're going to save the world…for us." -Charlotte

In the Far Future…. (Season 3 Post-Credit Scene)

Bernard emerges from the Sublime with dust all around him in the motel room.

Here’s to Season 4!

#westworld #westworld hbo #westworlded it #dolores abernathy #bernard lowe #maeve millay #caleb nichols #robert ford #arnold weber #william #james delos #logan delos #engerraund serac #incite #delos #charlotte hale

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queenmarytudor · 6 years ago

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Mary Tudor during the reign of Anne Boleyn - Part Two 1535

I had to split the post in half again, because I wanted to keep the letters. I was going to just post quotes but they don’t do the whole letter justice, and they’re pretty illuminating about how the writers are feeling.

1535

c.1st January - Mary is told that, by virtue of the statue lately passed, after the holy days she must “renounce her title and take the oath, and that on pain of her life she must not call herself Princess or her mother Queen, but that if ever she does she will be sent to the Tower.”

c.2nd February – At Greenwich, Mary is reported as “dangerously ill”.

c.8th February - The king tells Chapuys to send one or two of his physicians to Mary along with his own, to “preserve his honour and avoid all suspicion.” He is “as much grieved at her sickness as any father could be for his daughter.”, reporting Mary’s illness as “very serious, mentioning specially some accident thereof.”

Chapuys petitions him to send Margaret Pole, Mary’s “second mother” to care for and comfort her, but Henry refuses. He says if Mary had been under her care she would have died, and Anne Shelton “is an expert lady even in such female complaints”.

Anne Shelton weeps constantly at Mary’s illness, as William Butts has told her as of late there is a common report in London that she has poisoned Mary.

Chapuys reports that some members of the Privy Council were “not ashamed” to tell him that since men could find no remedy for matters between Charles V and Henry VIII “God would open a door by taking the said Princess”.

It is later reported “it is only her usual illness, and hitherto it does not appear that she has drunk or eaten too much”.

? - The physicians visit Mary and are “unanimously of opinion that the Princess's illness was caused by distress and sorrow, which at this moment could be very easily cured if she were put in some place where she could take pleasure and have exercise; otherwise, remaining where she was, she would be in great danger of her life.”

Chapuys’s servants visit every day to see how she is. Their appearance make Mary be treated better. Mary is so strictly guarded Chapuys can “scarcely communicate to her anything.”

He suggests whether she would like to be beyond the sea. She replies she desires nothing else.

c.9th February – Mary is let blood by William Butts, the royal physician.

? - Mary writes to Chapuys begging him to get Charles V to request Henry place her with her mother.

? - Mary sends 2 people to beg Chapuys to continue sending servants as they cause her to be better respected. She hears the people around her “desire her death, by which they say the world would be at peace, and they discharged of the pain and trouble they have had about her.”

12th February – Katherine of Aragon writes to Eustace Chapuys to ask him to intercede with the King on her behalf and let her look after Mary.

My physician has informed me partly of my daughter's illness, giving me hope of her improved health; but as I know her infirmity lasts so long, and I see he is slow to visit her (although for some days he could not, as I was so ill myself), I have great suspicion as to the cause. So because it appears to me that what I ask is just and for the service of God, I beg you will speak to his Highness, and desire him on my behalf to do such a charity as to send his daughter and mine where I am; because treating her with my own hands, and by the advice both of other physicians and of my own, if God please to take her from this world my heart will rest satisfied; otherwise in great pain. You shall say also to his Highness that there is no need of any other person but myself to nurse her; that I will put her in my own bed where I sleep, and will watch her when needful. I have recourse to you, knowing that there is no one in this kingdom who dare say to the King my lord that which I desire you to say; and I pray God reward you for the diligence that you will make.

? - Henry sends 60/80 ducats to Mary?

2nd March? - Cromwell has “obtained permission of the King that the Princess should be placed in some house near her mother for the convenience of the physician and apothecary.”

? - Both Mary and Katherine long to know where Mary is to reside.

6th March - The King moves Mary to a house “25 or 30 miles from the place where the Queen is lodged.”

14th March – Mary is very ill with her “usual illness” until the 16th.

? - Mary is anxious that Charles V “would somehow intimate to those here [his] displeasure at her detention in the hands of her enemies, and that if anything happened amiss it could only be imputed to her ill treatment.”

She begs daily to Chapuys to write of it to Charles V.

18th March - Chapuys requests Cromwell to send someone to see her, and intercede with the king to do the same.

19th March – Henry goes to Greenwich about 2pm where he remains until the middle of the 20th. He does not see Mary. He enquires to Anne Shelton about Mary’s health. His physician William Butts tells the king her illness is dangerous if not seen to in time. Henry gets angry and tells Butts he is not loyal to him, and he said it only because of Mary’s desire to see her mother.

Anne Shelton passes on a message to Mary from her father, stating that “he has no worse enemy in the world than her, and that she was the cause of mischief to the greater number of Christian princes, and the King declared publicly that her conduct was calculated to encourage conspiracy against him.”

Chapuys’s servants are allowed to come but not enter the house for fears Mary may be carried off.

23rd March – Mary is better, and plans escape with Chapuys.

Elizabeth goes to Hunsdon.

c.1st April? – Mary remains 10 or 12 days at Greenwich behind Elizabeth.

Henry sends another 60/80 ducats.

Mary sends desperate letters to Chapuys about leaving Greenwich, as her sudden departure to Eltham breaks off the escape plans.

When moving to Eltham she wants to go on horseback, but this is refused because 3 of Chapuys’s servants are mounted to accompany her. She travels in a velvet covered litter with Anne Shelton. It is “by far the most honourable that she had had since her misfortunes.”

5th April – Chapuys writes to Granvelle “If I were to tell you the messages she sent me at her leaving Greenwich, and again this morning, you could not refrain from tears.”

Mary urges Chapuys through his servants that, for the love of God he must “contrive to remove her from the danger which is otherwise inevitable.”

Mary has planned out the escape thoroughly; she knows where she is now there is no means of saving her by night, but as soon as it is fine weather, she “would go out walking to see what arrangement could be made to come upon her by surprise in the daytime.”

It should appear as little as possible that it was by her consent “for the sake of her own honour, and to less irritate her father.”

15th April – Mary has a relapse of illness. She does not cease to think of means to escape. She has a long conversation with one of Chapuys’s men about it, begging him to think urgently over the matter otherwise she considered herself lost, knowing they want to kill her.

Cromwell tells Chapuys it is Mary who has “created the difficulty and troubled matters, and that if it pleased God ——. He did not dare to say more, but it was quite clear what he wished.”

Mary has been refused to visit the nearest neighbourhood [Eltham], and been unable to plan how she could get away, day or night.

25th April – Mary has recovered from her illness. The King sent, at Chapuys’s request, the royal physician.

8th May - After visiting Mary, Chapuys’s servant reports that “she thinks of nothing else than how it [escaping] may be done, her desire for it increasing every day.”

Monks were executed on the 4th of May for refusing to swear the oath, and Anne Shelton “has been continually telling her to take warning by their fate.”

5th June – There are rumours that the French insist Mary is to marry their Dauphin.

16th June – Mary sends word to Chapuys that “the King loves his concubine now more than ever he did.” This has "considerably increased the Princess' fears, especially seeing how long the remedy is in coming.”

? - After the execution of Bishop Fisher, one of her and her mother’s chief supporters, May fears her father may proceed to further violence.

30th June - Mary is informed on good authority that it is feared there would soon be war with France.

c.11th July - After the execution of Thomas More, another of their supporters, on the 6th July, Mary is in “great fear and perplexity”, and is constantly asking Chapuys for her removal.

Mary requests Chapuys to ask Cromwell if she can be placed with her mother.

25th July – Anne Shelton tells Chapuys’s messenger that in future no one will get admittance to Mary.

? – Strangers are forbidden to approach Mary, and an armed watch is kept around the house and nearest sea ports for fear the French will carry her away.

3rd August – Mary is now residing where the royal hunting is taking place [Greenwich?]. Chapuys is invited on the hunt, but tells William Fitzwilliam and others “I would not attend the hunting unless I first obtained permission for myself to visit the Princess, who is residing in the neighbourhood of the Royal park, or send my servants to her.”

Mary is “tired of waiting” to know the answer, so Chapuys writes to find out. He is still unable to send his men to check upon her.

They are not allowed to meet.

10th August - Mary is well and continually prays for Charles V’s prosperity.

12th August – Mary writes secretly to her cousin, Queen Mary of Hungary:

Cannot express the joy and comfort she has received from her kind letters; which, together with what the Imperial ambassador has told her, enable her to live in hope. Begs a continuance of her compassion in these melancholy circumstances, and that she will pardon the delay and insufficiency of her thanks, which could only be fully expressed by a more eloquent spirit than her own. Written in haste and fear, 12 Aug.

25th August – Mary has been suffering from a bad cold for the past fortnight, not helped by being refused permission to communicate with Chapuys by word or writing.

6th September – Mary fears a return of her ordinary complaint, which she dreads, in the coming winter.

c.13th September – Mary has been visited by the King and Queen’s physicians. She is well, but the physicians “doubt that this winter she may relapse into a worse condition than ever; and, as she detests all medicines, they see no other remedy except that she should be placed somewhere where she can have recreation, as she would with the Queen her mother, or elsewhere, without being in the servitude and captivity in which they are.”

? – Mary reportedly says many times that the Dauphin is her husband, that she had no hope but in him, and her father could not refuse him because the marriage had been made with the consent of the two Kings.

When Anne Shelton and others present inform Mary that the Dauphin has married the Emperor’s daughter she answers she does not believe it, for he could not have two wives and he could not ignore her being his wife.

Mary says she knows well the rumour that circulates to take him from her, and thus make her give up her right.

c.3rd? October – Mary is removed from Greenwich to Eltham. On the way, “a great troop of citizens wives and others, unknown to their husbands, presented themselves before her weeping and crying that she was Princess.”

The most noble, “constantly persisting in their opinion”, are placed in the Tower.

c.10th? October – The French ambassadors visit Eltham, where Elizabeth and Mary are staying. There is a quarrel between Mary and Anne Shelton, resulting in Mary being put “almost by force” into her chamber so she would not speak to them.

It was apparently “impossible to appease and confine her to her chamber”, until she was told the king had commanded her not to show herself while they were there.

The Bishop of Tarbes later tells Chapuys that all the windows in her chambers were shut, but Chapuys does not believe this.

Chapuys thinks Mary must have followed his instructions and advice she requested he give her. He had told her to “show her filial obedience, and avoid, at the same time, all occasion of provoking her father's anger, [keep] aloof and [remain] indoors, playing on the spinet.”

He states that “even if she had been inclined to act otherwise, I presume that her modesty would have prevented her from placing herself behind a glass window where she could be seen.”

c.October – Mary writes the following letter to Eustace Chapuys, urging Charles V to invade England –

Monsieur l'Ambassadeur.

Although I am sure that, prompted by His innate virtue, goodness, and magnanimity, His Majesty has had due regard for the many and singular services which you, Chapuys, have, and are continually rendering him, yet I should feel it as one of the greatest mishaps of my sad fortune, were I not allowed time and opportunity to acknowledge those which for a considerable length of time you have rendered to the Queen, my mother, and to myself. Now more than ever those services on your part are urgently required, considering the miserable plight and wretched condition of affairs in this country, which is such that unless His Majesty, the Emperor, for the service of God, the welfare and repose of Christendom, as well as the honor of the King, my father, takes pity on these poor afflicted creatures, all and everything will go to total ruin, and be irretrievably lost. For the Emperor to apply a prompt remedy, as I hope and trust he will, it is necessary that he should be well and minutely informed of the state of affairs in this country. And although I suppose, nay believe as certain, that you have hitherto done good offices in that respect, yet, considering that His Majesty has for a long time back been occupied in that very glorious and no less holy and necessary undertaking of Tunis, and may not perhaps have acquired the information needful respecting the nature, weight, importance, and dangerous position of affairs in this country; as moreover it is not easy to convey by ciphered letters an exact and minute account of the whole, I would dare ask this favour of you,—that you dispatch forthwith one of your men, an able one and possessing such information, to the Emperor, and inform him of the whole, and beg him, in the name of the Queen, my mother, and mine, for the honour of God, and the considerations above mentioned, to take this matter in hand, and provide a remedy for the affairs of this country.

The work itself will be highly acceptable in the eyes of God, and no less glory will be gained by it than by the conquest of Tunis, or even that of Africa; begging you in the meantime not to forget to solicit permission for me to live with my mother, or else obtain leave for her to come, or send her people to visit me. I should very much wish to write to His Majesty in my own hand, but not knowing how to thank him in due measure for what he has already done for the Queen, my mother, or for myself, and, on the other hand, fearing lest those who are constantly watching me should get hold of the letter, I have hitherto been unable to accomplish my wish, though I find some consolation and comfort in the idea that you yourself will supply the want, and do and say in my name what is proper and fit.

Signed: Marye, princesse.

1st November – Mary is told “to annoy her” that the King of Tunis’s [Suleiman the Magnificent] admiral Barbarossa has retaken Goletta, Bona and the rest, thus rendering Charles V’s recent victory mentioned in her letter pointless.

30th December – Mary again asks Chapuys to ask the King for permission to visit her mother. Henry refuses.

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my-wayward-son · 6 years ago

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2 months on T-------------------> 7 months on T

I’m late with this post. Again. Because I’m doing really shitty. Again.

First, let me address the obvious: yes, I’ve lost weight. (Well, if you wanna get technical, I weigh the exact same thing as when I started, which I probably shouldn’t). But beyond that, I don’t want to talk about it. That change is probably 25% due to testosterone and the tendency it has to aid in the development of lean muscle, and 75% due to other factors.

All the previous changes I’ve noted in these posts are still happening/happening more, such as still more body hair growing/thickening. There’s really nothing new to report, except that I pass better when I have on glasses and teenage boy clothes (as opposed to professional clothes), but still get a lot of gender neutral and she/her designations mixed in with the he/hims.

I had a dream last night about correcting my dad (his typical naming convention for me is Laura, I mean, Laur, she, I mean, Laur...) . So he’s trying when he’s in front of me, but it’s obvious he isn’t trying when he’s talking to my mom without me present. I’m torn between being upset about it and letting it go. My dad was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult and he struggles with shifting his perspective. This is something else I don’t want to talk about, but just know that my far-from-NT-yet-decidedly-allistic ass has a hard time reconciling it.

But anyhow, the transition is going great, and I have no reason to be upset about anything, but I’m upset about everything, and the rest is going under the cut because it’s going to be full of triggers (suicide and ED stuff).

For my whole life I never understood why anyone would want one of those dolls that you can customize to look exactly like you. My thought was always, ‘what’s so special about me? I kind of suck.’ I thought so little of myself and my live, even as a little kid, that I would rather pick the princess or the American Girl or whatever with the most interesting story and change myself to match. Like I’d beg my mom for an outfit the same color as the character’s, or wear sunglasses with the lenses popped out, or only style my hair the same way as the character in order to adapt into that character.

Of course all those phases were just that, phases. They were highly tied to the media I consumed, and as I aged, that media changed. So I was always editing myself to match my current obsession. I never gave thought to what I was actually like, deep inside. Like it didn’t matter what my actual personality was. I hardly even thought about it until the end of high school, and then a series of traumas knocked me down a few pegs, and that sense of self didn’t come back to the surface until mid 2017.

In mid 2017, I went to a 2-week dance convention. At that time I was living as female, had basically given up on the idea of transitioning, and was just trying to push through as a painfully shy 24-year-old who worked full time and danced part time with a local ballet company. At the convention, I studied various styles of dance, realized I was extremely untrained in every field but ballet, and spent the entire thing on the verge of tears because I was with students over 10 years my junior in most of the classes. It was an “all ages” program, but literally all the other adults were in professional level classes for all styles. I was only in the professional level class for ballet. I couldn’t wait for the convention to end. I hated every second of it. I had a chronic foot injury that made dancing painful (but not dangerous), but I’d always pushed through it because I loved it. Now I could barely stand to go to class, even back with my regular company. So I made arrangements to retire.

I retired from professional dance in May 2018 and had foot surgery in June 2018. I could dance again, if I wanted to, but I’m not ready yet. Eventually I might go back as a recreational adult dancer, just taking class from time to time. But I don’t know.

I still love ballet, but as of a year ago, ballet was the one thing hanging over me that I hated. I hated the obligation; I hated the way it tore up my body; I hated the way it made me exhausted and ate up all my spare time. However, I was damn productive. I wrote so many fics and drew so many pictures, and I went to therapy at least every other week, and sometimes to PT. I was at the studio approximately 20 hours a week, on top of working 40 hours a week. But I guess I was so busy and tied to my obligations that I quite literally couldn’t fall apart.

My uncle died (suicide, marking the 4th attempt and 2nd success in my family) and my granddad died (heart condition), so I had good reason to fall apart. I was freaked out and sad for a while, but I was also fine. I was a robot. When I look back, I realize that the last time I was happy was prior to the 4th of July 2017. I call that the “Wonder Woman Moment.” I did a photo shoot for a ballet personal training/nutrition service that dressed me up in WW-esque dancewear. We blasted Patty Smythe and had a ball. Even though it was a really feminine thing, it was so much fun, and I had no worries. It was July 1st 2017. Before my uncle died, and before my granddad died and before I went to the dance convention. That’s my last happy memory.

After unpacking some acute issues with grief and anxiety, my therapist started talking to me about my issues with gender ID. By November 2017 I was thinking about transitioning (I had thought about it before, but never felt it was feasible). By December, I’d decided it felt right. I sought out a doctor in January 2018 and had my first appointment in February. I told my mom on Superbowl Sunday. Then a month later at my Oscar party, she basically washed her hands of me.

I love film crit and the Academy Awards almost as much as I love fanfiction and ballet and coffee and all the other good things. I’ve been on the edge of my seat waiting for the 2019 noms to drop. I know a few of them just from the grapevine, but I haven’t looked them up yet. I’m still working from my early prediction spreadsheet, even though the actual noms are just a few clicks away. I’m scared of the feelings that’s going to bring up.

One year ago, all I could think about was getting through the next 6 months and reaching a series of milestones: my company’s production of Alice in Wonderland. Moving to a new apartment. My company’s production of Water for Chocolate (an original contemporary ballet choreographed on me and 14 other dancers). Starting testosterone. Retiring from ballet. Foot surgery. I thought my life would be so much better.

And in a way, it is. I have the confidence to do random shit, like walk into Autozone and talk to the workers about what is wrong with my car, then help them fix it. A year ago, I would have panic attacks over things like that. But a year ago, my mom loved me. A year ago, I thought I’d have my current job forever. A year ago, I thought once I got on T, my eating disorder behaviors would go away.

I’ve gained personal confidence, but lost so much else. Lost my family. Gained a new one, but still, I lost my relationship with my biological mother and father. Lost my job satisfaction, which makes me worry that at some point I will have to interview for a new job and integrate with a new company, which is frightening in the extreme. T has changed my body shape in the way I like, but it’s not magic. I’m still afraid of eating, and stress doesn’t help. I’ve also had health complications that add pressure and make me feel run down. Some is my own damn fault (Hi, I’m Laur and I abuse OTC medications like a rebellious teenager, which is apparently not advisable when also on several prescriptions). Some is a fluke. But feeling like shit while also mentally feeling like shit has destroyed me. I hate my life. I hate everything. I don’t see the value in anything.

I know there’s a Spider-Man: Far from Home trailer out there. I haven’t seen it. I don’t know what to expect. I want to see it. But I also don’t want time to move forward. I like the MCU as it is (I like it pre-Infinity War, actually, but nobody asked me, so I won’t belabor you with my opinion).

And that’s a good metaphor for my life right now. It’s a mess. I can’t picture anything far in the future, so the light from my proverbial headlights is dim and dull. I’m afraid of moving forward, so my tires are spinning in place, kicking up mud and dust. I’m incapable of shifting side to side, so when I do roll ahead a few inches, I hit every obstacle in the path. If I just changed the lightbulbs, twiddled the steering wheel, took a breath and let myself move, I’d probably be fine. But somehow that seems like the most impossible choice.

I could slam the car into one of the cave walls, triggering a rockslide and killing myself. If I did that, I know it would hurt a lot of people in my life, but it would also fulfill all of my hopes and dreams. Peace. Calmness. Stillness. Not having to deal with a world that insists on moving forward with the passage of time.

The most compelling reason is that I can’t find a reason not to. I wish I was an undergraduate student again, because I want to get a degree in philosophy. I don’t know why living is so highly valued. I can’t figure out what makes this “will to live” the correct way of thinking and the desire to die the wrong way of thinking. Right and wrong are subjective. They don’t exist, really. There is not value behind things and thoughts and actions. They just are. What’s to say that a lack of serotonin or whatever in a depressed brain is really not normal? The non-depressed brain may have an excess. Normal is relative. Averages don’t mean correct. Just because most people in the class chose answer B doesn’t mean that it is the right answer to the question. Just because most Americans are a little overweight doesn’t mean that that’s the healthiest body type.

Sometimes I really want to try to get well and forge ahead and get my life together. Sometimes I want to say fuck it and take all the pills in the house and lay down and drift away. I can’t decide which is better because neither is better, they both are just choices. I can’t use other people’s reasoning to back up either one, for they are slanted for reasons I cannot understand. They have a bias toward life. I have to choose what I really want most, and I just don’t know. I truly don’t. My wants and desires-the deep ones in the core of my being- have been so long ignored, given up for what a character would do, or what my mom would do, that as an adult, I hardly know how to access the decision-making skills that most children have already mastered. I’m a fucking goldfish; when I’m upset, I’m only upset, and I’ve always been upset. When I’m happy, I’m only happy and I’ve always been happy. I don’t know how to take a step back and see both at the same time. I can’t hold contradictory truths at once. I’m not wise. I’m set up to fail because there are cracks in my foundation.

As long as I continue to not decide, I don’t take action. I’m stuck in a holding pattern of “I don’t know,” and “what’s going to get me through the next 5 minutes,” and “just fuck it all, it doesn’t matter.”

I’ve never, ever, in my life imagined myself as an elderly person. I’ve thought of myself as a middle-aged adult, but never past 40 or so. Sometimes I see myself as a woman, sometimes as a man, sometimes an NB person. But that’s not what matters. I don’t see myself living to old age. Mortality is comfort. The fact that this life doesn’t go on forever is one thing that honestly makes it seem ok to keep living. But by definition, it also makes it seem like a good choice to die when things go wrong. Because I will in the end.

I see my life as a project, and I’ve always had this dilemma with projects: if I make a mistake, what point is too ruined to salvage? What factors make it more worthwhile to backtrack and fix the mistakes vs. just throwing it away. Fixing the mistakes shoes dedication and perseverance, but it’s frustrating. Hot. Angry. Uncomfortable. Embarrassing to show youthful ineptitude to the world. Throwing it away is quick. Easy. Zen. Brings immediate cool relief with grace and style. But it’s selfish. So fucking selfish.

If you’ve read this far, please proceed to pour water into your ears and shake vigorously. This was not meant to be imprinted on your brain. This is for me to sort out my thoughts, which are, and shall always be, unable to be ordered.

#laur talks #trans #suicide tw #mental health tw #philosophy #death tw #family issues #eating disorders tw #ed tw #maybe do not read below the cut

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skeletonscribbles · 6 years ago

Text

Wishes - Chapter 12

there was really no getting around including Star Wars Weekend.

Disney folks - I KNOW you can't get specialty drinks at Starring Rolls but I'm too lazy to make them go to a kiosk, okay? also I haven't been to SWW in a minute. they probably have different food now, but all the Disney Food Blog entries I looked at were back from like 2015 so I'm operating under the assumption that the novelty shit doesn't change.

Anyways.

Chapter Title: “Cantina Song” (Stan)

Warnings: unintelligible memeing, “Luke Skywalker is gay” discourse, some discussion of discrimination

meme references: I Have The High Ground Now THIS is Podracing That's....why I'm here.... (Comment your fave prequel meme if you have one - mine’s Obi Wan’s “Hello There” but I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in to the chapter RIP)

READ ON AO3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @imrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

STANLEY URIS FRONT DESK COORDINATOR, YACHT CLUB RESORT but more immediately DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS MAY 4TH 11 A.M.

“It’s not that I don’t think Star Wars looks interesting,” Stan explained for what felt like the zillionth time that day. “Aesthetically, I’m all about it. I saw a PBS special one time about how they painted some of the sets - that was really cool.”

“So the reason you haven’t seen any of the films is…”

“Purely meme-related, yes.” Stan sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s so hard to grasp about that.”

“Everything, Stan!” Mike all but shouted (though there was a tell-tale wobbliness to his voice that suggested he was on the verge of laughter). “Everything!”

Star Wars Weekend was one of the more baffling annual events on property for Stan. Aside from his never having seen the movies, Stan also wasn’t sure why the entire shebang took place in Hollywood Studios (his least favorite park), especially because the Star Wars Land expansion wasn’t even finished yet. All Studios had to offer for the event was boring old motion-simulator Star Tours and the giant stomp robot it was housed in (“the AT-AT, Stan,” Mike had sighed at least 15 times in the past hour alone). That said, though, Mike loved Star Wars and had apparently been looking forward to getting his picture taken with the round rolling robot (“he has a name, Stan, call him BB-8!”) for quite some time now. Since February and the veritable relationship shitstorm they’d weathered, Stan had been extra determined to compromise wherever he could to show Mike that he was in this for the long run, and as compromises ran, Star Wars Weekend wasn’t a bad one by any means.

“Do you want me to watch the movies, Mike?” he asked, resigned.

Mike laughed and pulled up the bottom of his Rebel Alliance shirt to mop the sweat off of his face. Stan didn’t even bother to hide the way his eyes slid down to Mike’s newly exposed stomach, and made a mental note to ask a Cast Member how long Star Tours was so he could gauge whether or not it was feasible to fool around on the ride. (So far, they’d managed some light groping on the 11 minute ride through the Haunted Mansion, and would have gotten even farther on Pirates except that Stan had Richie’s voice in his head the whole time reminding him of “all the fuckin’ shit I’ve seen on those cameras, Stan, I swear to whatever Jewish God you pray to”.)

“I should have asked if you liked Star Wars, like...weeks ago,” Mike said sadly. “I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Stan assured him, putting a comforting and not at all lascivious hand on his bicep. “I love Star Wars Weekend. It’s like living in another country for two days. I don’t understand shit about what’s going on, but the food is good and it’s pretty fucking funny if you play your cards right.”

“Another country?” Mike smiled. “Another planet, more like.”

Stan laughed. “Now you’re getting it. Speaking of miscommunications, do we have word from Richie and Eddie?”

“Operation double date is a go,” Mike confirmed, pulling out his phone to double check his texts. “Eddie said they’d be here in like twenty minutes.”

“Cool,” Stan said, and was surprised to find that he meant it. Richie had been in the apartment less and less as his relationship with Eddie had gotten more and more serious, which had culminated in Stan seeing Richie maybe twice over the entirety of the past two weeks. (Stan hoped that meant that they were finally having sex. It would be such a relief to know that Richie had built himself back up to a place where he was finally ready to make that happen.) Stan would never admit it to Richie’s face, but he was starting to miss having Richie around. He was running out of things to clean in the apartment, because no one was around to leave dishes in the sink or leave toothpaste smeared across the bathroom counter. It should have been a relief, but instead it was weird. He’d had Richie around for so long that the idiot had become a central part of his daily routines, and while he was happy that his friend was finally getting his shit together, it was going to be tough to reimagine his life with less Richie.

But. That was a problem for Later Stan.

“So,” Mike continued, “I was thinking maybe we grab food and then head for character meet-and-greets once they arrive? I’ve been waiting to eat chocolate Darth Vader cake all day, and if we don’t do that before Richie shows up, he’ll try to steal off of our plates.”

“True!” Stan brightened at the idea of food. He’d seen people walking around with some kind of blue drink that he’d been dying to try all day. “I think they’ve got cupcakes and stuff at that bakery over by Sunset?”

Mike shrugged. “Sounds right. It’ll be deserted over there, too - no one wants to ride Tower of Terror during Star Wars Weekend. Wanna walk?”

“I do,” Stan said, taking up a brisk pace towards the Sunset Boulevard themed area of the park. “I might be wrong about the cupcakes, though. I really don’t know this park at all. I only come here with Richie.”

“Let me guess,” Mike said knowingly, following Stan across the park, “he takes you here because he likes to feel like he’s doing better than someone at the Toy Story Midway Mania game.”

Stan almost stopped in his tracks. “How did you know?”

“He took me here the first time we hung out solo, too,” Mike said, catching up with Stan during his momentary lull and taking his hand. Stan couldn’t help but smile a little bit at the gesture, even though he was sure he’d drop Mike’s hand sooner rather than later - May in Florida meant that things were already almost unbearably muggy. “I think he takes everyone here so that he can gauge their Toy Story shooting skills.”

“And you were better than him?” Stan guessed.

“I wasn’t worse,” Mike agreed. “His hand-eye coordination needs some serious work.”

“No, my hand-eye coordination needs some serious work,” Stan sighed, spotting the bakery he was thinking of and making a beeline for it with Mike in tow. “Richie just can’t see. He has to wear the 3D glasses on top of his regular glasses.”

“Well, if we ever ride that ride together, I’ll let you win, sweetheart,” Mike promised, and Stan reached up to pull his curls desperately down over his ears so as to hide how red they’d just gotten. Mike really was the least selfish person on Earth. How had he, Stanley Uris, gotten so lucky?

But...now wasn’t the time to reflect on selfishness, because that would just make both of them a little bit sad. Neither of them had reached out to Bill at all since early March, and while they’d admitted to one another that they felt a little bit like they hadn’t given him enough of a chance (although Mike still felt worse about it than Stan did - it was in Mike’s nature to hope for change, and it was in Stan’s nature to know that things were going to stay the same), their residual guilt hadn’t been enough to warrant a check-in with their ex-partner just yet.

It would have to be soon, though - they both knew that. The seven of them were booked to visit Anaheim in just two short months, and if they weren’t amiable by then, Bev would kill them.

Soon wasn’t now, though. They’d be ready when they were ready.

“Let’s just never ride that ride together, okay?” Stan suggested, stopping in front of the bakery and checking out the menu signs out front. “Is this the cupcake you wanted?”

“Are these the droids I’m looking for?” Mike joked, but it fell on deaf ears. Stan knew a fair amount of Star Wars jokes as a result of his longtime dedication to r/funny (and he was absolutely positive that they’d be made less funny by his actually having seen the films, he just knew it, which was the real, core reason why he hadn’t bitten the bullet and watched the goddamn movies), but he had long since resigned himself to the fact that there were some references he was just never going to get.

“Chocolate Darth Vader,” Stan continued, trying to save them both some embarrassment. “Or was it this Jabba the Hutt….thing?”

Mike squinted at the menu, paying special attention to what was apparently a new item as of this year’s Star Wars Weekend. “That is the ugliest fucking cupcake I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Can’t be uglier than Eddie’s mom!”

Fuck. Eddie’s stupid homing beacon brain had obviously struck again. Sighing heavily, Stan smoothed down his navy polo and turned around to greet his roommate.

“Hello Stan!” Eddie was three steps ahead of Richie, beaming as he bounded across the red concrete towards them. The shirt he was wearing had really obviously belonged to Richie at some point - the first clue was that it was white with Han Solo silhouetted in black on the front (Eddie didn’t know shit about Star Wars), and the second was that Eddie was absolutely swimming in it. In spite of both of those things, Eddie was in better spirits than Stan had maybe ever seen him, to the point where Stan was almost afraid that Eddie was going to hug him when he got close enough.

“Eddie,” Stan greeted, raising a hand slowly to wave cordially at their two friends as Mike slowly shifted his attention away from the cupcake selection. “Richie.”

“Stanakin Skywalker,” Richie grinned, coming up behind Eddie and sliding a hand easily onto Eddie’s shoulder, “here with Pad-Mike Amidala.”

Stan stared at him, wondering vaguely if he’d actually forgotten that Stan had zero knowledge of the Star Wars films. “Who?”

“Never mind.” Richie waved a conceding hand. The motion of his wave drew Stan’s eyes to his shirt, which was the most hideous brown monstrosity Stan had maybe ever seen (modeled after that creature that was always with Han Solo whose name Stan always forgot), and he wondered: had he actually missed Richie Tozier, or had his mind just gone soft and nostalgic from being alone in the apartment?

“How’d you find us, Eddie?” Mike asked, smiling warily down at the top of Eddie’s head. “I didn’t text you that we were getting food, did I?”

Eddie shrugged. “Had a hunch. Richie saw one of those blue drinks and thought that Stan would like that, and I know you can get those here, so.”

Stan looked at Richie, who was smiling at his giant, converse-clad feet, and felt a little bit sad all over again. His empty apartment nostalgia brain had nothing to do with how big of a hole Richie’s semi-departure had actually left in his life.

But again - that was a problem for Later Stan.

“Come on, Rich,” Stan said, moving towards the doors of the Starring Rolls Cafe and beckoning to his friend. “I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

Richie’s resulting smile was enough to make Stan consider skipping the fireworks show - it was that much of a spectacle. “He does care!”

“I always have, dipshit,” Stan muttered, walking pointedly away from Richie and into the air-conditioned cafe. Immediately, he let out a sigh of relief - the Florida heat fucking sucked, and he could practically feel his hair going nuts with it at this point in the day. Behind him, he heard Richie following along and chattering enthusiastically, but he tuned that out in favor of locating the blue drink he wanted on the menu. Once he found it, he couldn’t help but scowl...there was no way he was going to be able to pronounce the name of that cocktail well enough to order it. Reluctantly, he turned back to Mike.

“Hey sweetheart,” he began slowly, “the blue drink....”

Mike glanced at the menu, and then he threw his head back and let out a long laugh. Embarrassed, Stan tightened his shoulders and turned around.

“Never mind, I don’t--”

“Alderaan,” Mike said, still wheezing with laughter. “It’s pronounced All - deh - rahn...although if you want to pay homage to that meme you like about the high ground, you should get the red Mustafar thing--”

Stan considered that. On the one hand, he was mortified enough at this point to be seriously considering just skipping the drink altogether, but on the other...he did love that meme...

“Richie?” He glanced off to the right, scanning the room for Richie, who had become suspiciously quiet since they’d entered the bakery. “Tell me what you want so I can ge--”

The sentence dried up in Stan’s mouth as he locked eyes with one Bill Denbrough, who was standing next to a sheepish looking Richie. Stan vaguely registered the presence of Eddie, Beverly, and Ben behind Bill, but it didn’t matter that they were there, not really.

Well, it did, kind of. He tore his eyes from Bill and quickly scanned each of their faces - Richie looked uncomfortable, Eddie looked kind of sick, Ben looked embarrassed, and Bev...Bev looked…

Stan turned back to the left to glance at Mike, and when Mike met his gaze, a small nod confirmed Stan’s suspicions: this was Beverly Marsh’s doing, most definitely.

Bill himself looked more gaunt than Stan remembered - as if someone had taken the face that Stan remembered and stretched it thinner, made it longer, made it sadder, almost. His blue eyes stood in stark contrast to the circles around them, and they looked scared.

Bizarrely, that detail was almost comforting to Stan. It was good that Bill was a little frightened. That was better than Bill being indignant, or having that Denbrough fiery conviction in his eyes. No...frightened, Stan could work with. It gave him leverage, at the very least.

Mike would feel bad about it, though - and Stan could see him already starting to feel bad about it, guilt was creeping across his face and sinking his shoulders. Damn it.

Bill spoke first. “You didn’t t-tell me they were going to be here, Bev.”

Oh. That was new. Stan knew that Bill had stuttered in his youth, but he hadn’t ever actually heard him do it. Was it a ploy, or was it legitimate? Was it shitty of Stan to even be thinking that question?

“You guys were never going to get here on your own,” Bev said cooly, and Stan felt a little spike of anger at her - who was she to dictate the terms of this revisitation? They weren’t ready. None of them were ready, and Hollywood Studios was the wrong venue for any kind of confrontation.

Before he could collect his thoughts well enough to voice his displeasure, though, Eddie was speaking. “Should we go, then?” he asked, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands nervously. “We could get in line for Star Tours, maybe? Or the Luke Skywalker meet-and-greet?”

“Do you know the names of any Star Wars characters that aren’t Luke Skywalker?” Richie asked fondly, re-situating his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie leaned into the touch, smiling quietly to himself.

“I like Luke Skywalker.” Eddie defended himself without any real heat, sliding a hand up to cover Richie’s. “He’s gay.”

Ben half-covered his face with his hand. “Oh, Eddie…”

“We’ll go,” Bev decided loudly, grabbing for Ben’s hand and leading him towards the door. “Text me when you’re ready to join us, boys. We’ll be in line for something or other, probably.”

Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie swept out of the restaurant together, and all of Stan’s angry words were left to fester as the four of them disappeared into the crowd, chattering about the merits of meeting Princess Leia (Bev’s choice) versus meeting Luke Skywalker (Eddie’s choice).

For the first time since February, Stan, Mike, and Bill were alone together. It was almost funny that they were reconciling in a restaurant, Stan thought, except that it was really not funny at all. None of them had moved, so they weren’t even set up to have a private conversation - they were stuck just staring at each other across the bakery as patrons entered and exited.

After a long thirty seconds, Mike strode forward, and gestured to Stan to follow him. Stan clenched his fists and entertained the idea of resisting - he didn’t want either of them to be drawn back into the vortex they’d been in before, the last two months had been so good - but in the end, he followed, because this wasn’t about going back, not really. It was about moving forward.

How have you been, Bill?” Mike asked softly, offering out a hand for Bill to shake.

Bill stared at Mike’s hand as if it were going to bite him, but Mike held firm, and after an excruciating moment, Bill relented. Stan was surprised at how visibly Bill relaxed when his brain finally processed that Mike and Stan weren’t going to be hostile. He deflated like a balloon, sagging his shoulders and sliding his hand into Mike’s.

“Okay,” Bill said, and Stan could almost feel the way his face immediately synched up with Mike’s as they raised their eyebrows at Bill skeptically. Bill stared at them for a second, and then choked out a laugh, eyes widening incredulously. “Okay, not great, not really even okay, actually. Holy shit, you guys.”

“Sorry,” Mike said, at the same time that Stan said, “Now THIS is podracing,” and Bill let out another hoarse laugh.

“Is that a meme?” he asked, smiling up at Stan, and Stan felt his stomach clench upon seeing the little crinkly smile lines around Bill’s eyes. How fucking odd, to remember the things that you were attracted to in a person without experiencing the actual attraction.

“Yes,” Stan said, and found that his voice wasn’t nearly as sharp as he’d anticipated it being. “Of course it’s a meme. You know me.”

Bill looked like he had something to say on that point, but to Stan’s great surprise, he kept it to himself.

“Guest Relations still going okay? I never see you in the tunnels,” Mike continued, already grasping for straws as far as small talk topics were concerned. The conversation was going to have to get serious soon - Stan wasn’t sure why Mike was delaying the inevitable.

“It’s fine,” Bill shrugged. “Kind of boring. I see Richie and Eddie sometimes, but mostly it’s just the usual sitting at the window and fielding complaints. How’s Splash? And Yacht?”

“Splash is great, actually,” Mike said, smiling slowly. “I’m glad I transferred there. I’m having a lot of fun.”

If Bill was upset about that, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “I’m glad. And you, Stan?”

Stan nodded, trying to be as agreeable as possible. “We’ve got wings closed for renovation, so it’s pretty quiet. Once we’re full steam ahead again, though, I’m going to put in for Manager.”

Bill swung his eyes over to meet Stan’s, and Stan was surprised by how open his expression was. “Good. Sounds like you’re both doing well.”

Mike and Stan exchanged a nervous glance. “We’re fine, yeah.”

There was an awkward silence, exacerbated by Bill turning away for a few seconds to look at the cupcake case. Once he turned back, Mike spoke again.

“I’m sorry for what happened in February,” he said, and Stan straightened up. Finally, finally, finally they had reached the meat of the conversation - and the sooner they got through it, the sooner this terrible interaction would be finished. “I know I wasn’t fair.”

Mike turned his head after he was finished speaking and fixed Stan with a look that indicated that he expected Stan to apologize too...but Stan wasn’t quite there yet.

“Have you thought about what we said?” he asked instead, and he felt rather than saw Mike’s cringe.

Bill didn’t seem upset, though. In fact, he looked as though he had expected that line of questioning. “If I said yes, Stan, would you believe me?”

Stan didn’t really know what his answer to that question was. Fortunately, Mike was able to make a quicker judgement call.

“I would,” said Mike. “February Bill would have been pretty mad that we were doing well without him, I think, and you seem….you seem calm, Bill. Have you been talking to someone?”

“Just Bev,” he said, cutting eye contact with both of them and looking at the ground sheepishly. “We still live together for the moment, but I think she’s looking at moving in with Ben? Is that true?” He looked specifically at Mike for that question, and Mike nodded carefully.

“I think so? I’m pretty evenly split between my place and Stan’s, so I don’t know for sure,” he said, and Stan’s eyes snapped back to Bill’s face, trying to gauge his reaction about Stan and Mike spending time together. To his credit, he didn’t seem fazed at all.

Fuck. Maybe things had changed over the past few months. Maybe Bill was trying to self-improve after all.

“But I’m thinking about seeing a therapist,” Bill continued, shuffling his feet a little bit, “just to like, talk to someone, you know? And I’ve been thinking about what you guys were saying about the not listening, because...well, Bev said it too, and I’m not...I’m working on it.”

Mike smiled sweetly. “I can tell.”

“Me too,” Stan admitted, and Bill’s eyes snapped up at that. He had obviously not expected Stan to be kind.

“I have a question, though,” Bill asked, in a tone that quietly indicated that he only half-wanted to ask his question.

“Shoot,” Mike and Stan said in unison, and Bill shuddered.

“Fucking weird, you guys. Anyways,” he said, taking his time as if trying to word it perfectly in his head. “I just...what happened? Why me? I know that’s probably like...ignorant or something? Maybe? I don’t know, but...I deserve to know that, I think.”

Stan smiled thinly. The old Bill - the “deserve” Bill - was not quite dead, after all.

Mike, as always, was kinder than Stan, and launched quickly into an explanation.

“Well, the minority versus non-minority thing was bigger than you thought it was, I think,” Mike said thoughtfully, and Stan nodded.

“Yeah, ditto that. There are some things you just can’t understand unless you’ve lived them.”

Bill frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “But Stan’s white.”

Stan exhaled lowly. “Yeah, and that’s not the same as Mike and all the shit he deals with, I know...but the Jewishness, Bill. It’s a thing, even if I haven’t really practiced in a minute...it’s a thing.”

Sighing, Bill inelegantly pushed a hand back through his hair. “Okay, I guess. Was that it?”

Stan looked at Mike, and Mike nodded back at him, giving him the non-verbal green light.

“The dynamic was weird,” Stan said, willing Bill to look him in the eyes for this part. It wasn’t happening, but it felt like it was important to try, so Stan persisted. “You like to be in charge, and the two of us aren’t really people that like having people in charge of us.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “We’re not Richie and Eddie, Bill - heck, we’re not even Ben and Bev. We’ve got a whole different thing going on, you know?”

Bill’s eyes were all but glued to the floor. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“You don’t like it,” Mike said flatly, and Bill hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t,” Bill agreed. “But. It helps to know.”

“We should have explained it better,” Mike said, and Stan nodded shortly - almost indecipherably, because part of him was still resistant to apologizing, but he nodded all the same. “It’s just so fucking frustrating in the moment, you know?”

Bill barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I definitely know.”

Another silence fell upon them, but it was more comfortable now. Stan could practically see the other side of the conversation, and he was desperate to get there. The staff was starting to be weirded out by their continued presence.

“Are we going to be okay, then?” he asked, trying to drive the other two to a more practical place.

They both looked up at him with matching fond smiles, and he felt heat curl in his gut. Fuck, that was...something else.

“I don’t know about hanging today, if I’m honest,” Mike said, more blunt than usual (and Stan knew that was for his sake), “but we could try another day and see? That’ll give us time to prepare.”

Bill nodded thoughtfully. “Time to prepare sounds good. Bev really threw us under the bus today, huh.”

“She really fucking did,” Stan agreed sourly. “Which day?”

“I’m pretty tied up this month,” Bill admitted, “but maybe beginning of June? Do you guys have Universal Studios Season Passes? I haven’t been on Kong yet.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike smiled. “Cool. You staying for the rest of this Star Wars crazy, Bill?”

“Nah,” Bill said, waving a hand dismissively across his face. “I’m more of a Star Trek guy. Bev knows that, so I was a little confused about why she asked me to come today...I guess I know now. Anyways. I’ll probably go home and watch reruns of Arrested Development.”

Stan nodded, feeling light. “Well, godspeed, then.”

Bill looked between the two of them, looking half pleased and half exasperated. “God, Stan, you’re so--”

“I know,” Stan said, reaching for Mike’s hand. To his great relief, Mike took it immediately. “I know.”

There was still more to say - the air was thick with conversation they weren’t having, but it was time for Bill to go, and he knew it.

“Goodbye, then,” he finally said, backing towards the doors of the restaurant.

“Goodbye,” Mike and Stan chorused, waving him away until he pushed his way out and back into the Florida sun.

They stood there like that for a moment, hands clasped, and then looked back at each other.

“How do you say the name of that drink again?” Stan finally asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Mike opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, someone tapped Stan on the shoulder.

It was one of the Starring Rolls employees, holding his blue, blue drink.

“Couldn’t help but overhear,” she said quickly as Stan read her nametag (‘Patricia’, and she looked like one, too, all dark curls and dimples). “This is on the house. Sorry about your friend.”

Stan blinked back at her, too surprised to speak, and Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder, laughing softly.

“In another life, he’d be considering asking you to marry him right about now,” Mike informed the girl, who laughed in response.

“Sounds like it would be nice,” she said, beaming at the two of them. “Alternate universe Patty Blum is pretty lucky. But for now, enjoy, okay? May the fourth be with you.”

“Thank you,” Stan said, thirty seconds too late - she was already headed back to her post.

“Pull yourself together, sweetheart,” Mike chided jokingly, holding up his phone, which was lit up with new text notifications. “Bev’s wondering where we are. You up for doing more shit? I know that was a lot to handle.”

Stan looked down at his drink, and then up at Mike, and felt his face split into a huge, crazy grin.

“That’s...why I’m here.”

Mike’s responding groan propelled them out of Starring Rolls and all the way back to where Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie were waiting for them.

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unsettlingstories · 7 years ago

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A collection of complaints about the youth throughout history

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

Socrates (Attributed) 4th Century BC

“[Young people] are high-minded because they have not yet been humbled by life, nor have they experienced the force of circumstances. ... They think they know everything, and are always quite sure about it.”

Rhetoric, Aristotle 4th Century BC

“The beardless youth… does not foresee what is useful, squandering his money.”

Horace 1st Century BC

Our sires' age was worse than our grandsires'. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

Book III of Odes, Horace circa 20 BC

In all things I yearn for the past. Modern fashions seem to keep on growing more and more debased. I find that even among the splendid pieces of furniture built by our master cabinetmakers, those in the old forms are the most pleasing. And as for writing letters, surviving scraps from the past reveal how superb the phrasing used to be. The ordinary spoken language has also steadily coarsened. People used to say "raise the carriage shafts" or "trim the lamp wick," but people today say "raise it" or "trim it." When they should say, "Let the men of the palace staff stand forth!" they say, "Torches! Let's have some light!" Instead of calling the place where the lectures on the Sutra of the Golden Light are delivered before the emperor "the Hall of the Imperial Lecture," they shorten it to "the Lecture Hall," a deplorable corruption, an old gentleman complained.

Tsurezuregusa (Essays in Idleness), Yoshida Kenkō 1330 - 1332

Youth were never more sawcie, yea never more savagely saucie . . . the ancient are scorned, the honourable are contemned, the magistrate is not dreaded.

The Wise-Man's Forecast against the Evill Time, Thomas Barnes 1624

... I find by sad Experience how the Towns and Streets are filled with lewd wicked Children, and many Children as they have played about the Streets have been heard to curse and swear and call one another Nick-names, and it would grieve ones Heart to hear what bawdy and filthy Communications proceeds from the Mouths of such...

A Little Book for Children and Youth - Being Good Counsel and Instructions for Your Children, Earnestly Exhorting Them to Resist the Temptation of the Devil, Robert Russel 1695

“Whither are the manly vigour and athletic appearance of our forefathers flown? Can these be their legitimate heirs? Surely, no; a race of effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles can never have descended in a direct line from the heroes of Potiers and Agincourt...”

Letter in Town and Country magazine republished in Paris Fashion: A Cultural History 1771

The total neglect of this art [speaking] has been productive of the worst consequences...in the conduct of all affairs ecclesiastical and civil, in church, in parliament, courts of justice...the wretched state of elocution is apparent to persons of any discernment and taste… if something is not done to stop this growing evil …English is likely to become a mere jargon, which every one may pronounce as he pleases.

A General Dictionary of the English Language, Thomas Sheridan 1780

The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth; and prevented others from improving their minds in useful knowledge. Parents take care to feed their children with wholesome diet; and yet how unconcerned about the provision for the mind, whether they are furnished with salutary food, or with trash, chaff, or poison?

Memoirs of the Bloomsgrove Family, Reverend Enos Hitchcock 1790

We remarked with pain that the indecent foreign dance called the Waltz was introduced (we believe for the first time) at the English court on Friday last … it is quite sufficient to cast one's eyes on the voluptuous intertwining of the limbs and close compressor on the bodies in their dance, to see that it is indeed far removed from the modest reserve which has hitherto been considered distinctive of English females. So long as this obscene display was confined to prostitutes and adulteresses, we did not think it deserving of notice; but now that it is attempted to be forced on the respectable classes of society by the civil examples of their superiors, we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion.

The Times of London Summer, 1816

On the use of you in place of thou in speech:

I know not any we may so properly refer the grammar of the matter to, not only derides it, but bestows a whole discourse upon rendering it absurd : plainly manifesting, that it is impossible to preserve numbers, if You, the only word for more than one, be used to express one...

William Evans, ‎Thomas Evans 1837

...a fearful multitude of untutored savages... [boys] with dogs at their heels and other evidence of dissolute habits...[girls who] drive coal-carts, ride astride upon horses, drink, swear, fight, smoke, whistle, and care for nobody...the morals of children are tenfold worse than formerly.

Anthony Ashley Cooper, the 7th Earl of Shaftesbury, Speech to the House of Commons February 28, 1843

... see the simpering little beau of ten gallanting home the little coquette of eight, each so full of self-conceit and admiration of their own dear self, as to have but little to spare for any one else... and confess that the sight is both ridiculous and distressing... the sweet simplicity and artlessness of childhood, which renders a true child so interesting, are gone (like the bloom of the peach rudely nipped off) never to return.

"Children And Children's Parties", published in The Mothers' Journal and Family Visitant, S.B.S. 1853

Household luxuries, school-room steam-press systems, and, above all, the mad spirit of the times, have not come to us without a loss more than proportionate...[a young man] rushes headlong, with an impetuosity which strikes fire from the sharp flints under his tread...Occasionally, one of this class...amasses an estate, but at the expense of his peace, and often of his health. The lunatic asylum or the premature grave too frequently winds up his career...We expect each succeeding generation will grow "beautifully less."

“Degeneracy of Stature”, The National Era, Thrace Talmon December 18, 1856

A pernicious excitement to learn and play chess has spread all over the country, and numerous clubs for practicing this game have been formed in cities and villages...chess is a mere amusement of a very inferior character, which robs the mind of valuable time that might be devoted to nobler acquirements, while it affords no benefit whatever to the body. Chess has acquired a high reputation as being a means to discipline the mind, but persons engaged in sedentary occupations should never practice this cheerless game; they require out-door exercises--not this sort of mental gladiatorship.

Scientific American July, 1858

A mendacious umbrella is a sign of great moral degradation. Hypocrisy naturally shelters itself below a silk; while the fast youth goes to visit his religious friends armed with the decent and reputable gingham. May it not be said of the bearers of these inappropriate umbrellas that they go about the streets "with a lie in their right hand"?

“The Philosophy of Umbrellas”, Robert Louis Stevenson 1894

“‘We want to get married, but there is nowhere we can set up a house of our own. It is either a case of waiting goodness knows how long, and we've waited all the war, or, going to live with Mary's mother.’ How often is a similar remark heard in those days, for it is the problem that young people all over the country have to face. Thousands of young fellows have come home from the war intent on setting up a home with the girl of their heart only to find that there are no homes to be had… Many men, of course, have not waited for houses, but have got married and gone into rooms or to live with relatives, but neither course can be considered very satisfactory.”

Nowhere to Set Up House, Dundee Courier 1920

Never has youth been exposed to such dangers of both perversion and arrest as in our own land and day. Increasing urban life with its temptations, prematurities, sedentary occupations, and passive stimuli just when an active life is most needed, early emancipation and a lessening sense for both duty and discipline, the haste to know and do all befitting man's estate before its time, the mad rush for sudden wealth and the reckless fashions set by its gilded youth--all these lack some of the regulatives they still have in older lands with more conservative conditions.

The Psychology of Adolescence, Granville Stanley Hall 1904

“We defy anyone who goes about with his eyes open to deny that there is, as never before, an attitude on the part of young folk which is best described as grossly thoughtless, rude, and utterly selfish.”

The Conduct of Young People, Hull Daily Mail 1925

...[The screen artists'] beauty, their exquisite clothing, their lax habits and low moral standards, are becoming unconsciously appropriated by the plastic minds of American youth. Let them do what they may; divorce scandals, hotel episodes, free love, all are passed over and condoned by the young... The eye-gate is the widest and most easily accessible of all the avenues of the soul; whatever is portrayed on the screen is imprinted indelibly upon the nation's soul.

The Pentecostal Evangel November 6, 1926

The bad manners of all parliaments, the general tendency to connive at a rather shady business transaction if it promises to bring in money without work, jazz and Negro dances as the spiritual outlet in all circles of society, women painted like prostitutes, the efforts of writers to win popularity by ridiculing...the correctness of well-bred people, and the bad taste shown even by the nobility and old princely families in throwing off every kind of social restraint and time-honoured custom: all of these go to prove that it is now the vulgar mob that gives the tone.

Hour of Decision, Oswald Spengler (translated by C.F. Atkinson, 1942) 1933

“The Chairman alluding to the problem of young people and their English said his experience was that many did not seem able to express or convey to other people what they meant. They could not put their meaning into words, and found the same difficulty when it came to writing.”

Unable to Express Thoughts: Failing of Modern Young People, Gloucester Citizen

1936

“Probably there is no period in history in which young people have given such emphatic utterance to a tendency to reject that which is old and to wish for that which is new.”

Young People Drinking More, Portsmouth Evening News 1936

“Cinemas and motor cars were blamed for a flagging interest among young people in present-day politics by ex-Provost JK Rutherford… [He] said he had been told by people in different political parties that it was almost impossible to get an audience for political meetings. There were, of course, many distractions such as the cinema…”

Young People and Politics, Kirkintilloch Herald 1938

“Parents themselves were often the cause of many difficulties. They frequently failed in their obvious duty to teach self-control and discipline to their own children.”

Problems of Young People, Leeds Mercury 1938

“…in youth clubs were young people who would not take part in boxing, wrestling or similar exercises which did not appeal to them. The ‘tough guy’ of the films made some appeal but when it came to something that led to physical strain or risk they would not take it.”

Young People Who Spend Too Much, Dundee Evening Telegraph 1945

“How to bring young people into membership of the Church was a pressing problem raised at a meeting… Sunday School teachers in the audience had found that children were apt to leave Sunday School when they had completed their day school education. They were not following on into the church.”

Why Do Young People Neglect Religion?, Shield Daily News 1947

“It’s an irony, but so many of us are a cautious, nervous, conservative crew that some of the elders who five years ago feared that we might come trooping home full of foreign radical ideas are now afraid that the opposite might be too true, and that we could be lacking some of the old American gambling spirit and enterprise.”

The Care and Handling of a Heritage: One of the “scared-rabbit” generation reassures wild-eyed elders about future, Life 1950

“Many [young people] were so pampered nowadays that they had forgotten that there was such a thing as walking, and they made automatically for the buses… unless they did something, the future for walking was very poor indeed.”

Scottish Rights of Way: More Young People Should Use Them, Falkirk Herald 1951

“A few [35-year-old friends] just now are leaving their parents’ nest. Many friends are getting married or having a baby for the first time. They aren’t switching occupations, because they have finally landed a ‘meaningful’ career – perhaps after a decade of hopscotching jobs in search of an identity. They’re doing the kinds of things our society used to expect from 25-year-olds.”

Not Ready for Middle Age at 35, Wall Street Journal 1984

“What really distinguishes this generation from those before it is that it's the first generation in American history to live so well and complain so bitterly about it.”

The Boring Twenties, Washington Post 1993

“The traditional yearning for a benevolent employer who can provide a job for life also seems to be on the wane… In particular, they want to avoid ‘low-level jobs that aren’t keeping them intellectually challenged.’”

Meet Generation X, Financial Times 1995

“They have trouble making decisions. They would rather hike in the Himalayas than climb a corporate ladder. They have few heroes, no anthems, no style to call their own. They crave entertainment, but their attention span is as short as one zap of a TV dial.”

Proceeding with Caution, Time 2001

And one more reflection:

“He felt that the people who were giving that kind of charge, that sweeping condemnation, were generally out of touch with the young people… ‘I think that if we knew the boys and girls — and I am thinking particularly tonight the young people of Britain — of those modern times, we should feel that after all they are very much like ourselves. They think very much like ourselves only their expression of their thinking is a little bit different.’”

Modern Young People: ‘A Glorious Lot’, Cornishman 1934

Sources:

http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20171003-proof-that-people-have-always-complained-about-young-adults

http://mentalfloss.com/article/52209/15-historical-complaints-about-young-people-ruining-everything

The Friends' Library: Comprising Journals, Doctrinal Treatises, and Other Writings of Members of the Religious Society of Friends - edited by William Evans, Thomas Evans

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehaving-children-in-ancient-times/

Just thought you guys would find this cool. From here.

#history #youth #kids #lol #funny

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axekerose54 · 4 years ago

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Read A Civil Action: A Documentary Companion, 4th (Coursebook) PDF Ebook

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This supplement uses the actual litigation documents from Anderson v. Cryovac, the toxic torts case portrayed in Jonathan Harr's best seller A Civil Action to explore issues in civil procedure. It can be used in conjunction with Harr's book and any civil procedure casebook to teach the first-year civil procedure course. It can also serve as the sole text for an advanced litigation class. The authors have arranged the documents from the case topically to illustrate every phase of the litigation process from notice to appeal. Their extensive notes and comments contain informative analysis of the legal, tactical, and ethical issues.

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Let's be real: 2020 has been a nightmare. Between the political unrest and novel coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, it's difficult to look back on the year and find something, anything, that was a potential bright spot in an otherwise turbulent trip around the sun. Luckily, there were a few bright spots: namely, some of the excellent works of military history and analysis, fiction and non-fiction, novels and graphic novels that we've absorbed over the last year.

Here's a brief list of some of the best books we read here at Task & Purpose in the last year. Have a recommendation of your own? Send an email to [email protected] and we'll include it in a future story.

Missionaries by Phil Klay

I loved Phil Klay’s first book, Redeployment (which won the National Book Award), so Missionaries was high on my list of must-reads when it came out in October. It took Klay six years to research and write the book, which follows four characters in Colombia who come together in the shadow of our post-9/11 wars. As Klay’s prophetic novel shows, the machinery of technology, drones, and targeted killings that was built on the Middle East battlefield will continue to grow in far-flung lands that rarely garner headlines. [Buy]

- Paul Szoldra, editor-in-chief

Battle Born: Lapis Lazuli by Max Uriarte

Written by 'Terminal Lance' creator Maximilian Uriarte, this full-length graphic novel follows a Marine infantry squad on a bloody odyssey through the mountain reaches of northern Afghanistan. The full-color comic is basically 'Conan the Barbarian' in MARPAT. [Buy]

- James Clark, senior reporter

The Liberator by Alex Kershaw

Now a gritty and grim animated World War II miniseries from Netflix, The Liberator follows the 157th Infantry Battalion of the 45th Division from the beaches of Sicily to the mountains of Italy and the Battle of Anzio, then on to France and later still to Bavaria for some of the bloodiest urban battles of the conflict before culminating in the liberation of the Dachau concentration camp. It's a harrowing tale, but one worth reading before enjoying the acclaimed Netflix series. [Buy]

- Jared Keller, deputy editor

The Only Plane in the Sky: An Oral History of 9/11 by Garrett Graff

If you haven’t gotten this must-read account of the September 11th attacks, you need to put The Only Plane In the Sky at the top of your Christmas list. Graff expertly explains the timeline of that day through the re-telling of those who lived it, including the loved ones of those who were lost, the persistently brave first responders who were on the ground in New York, and the service members working in the Pentagon. My only suggestion is to not read it in public — if you’re anything like me, you’ll be consistently left in tears. [Buy]

- Haley Britzky, Army reporter

The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World by Elaine Scarry

Why do we even fight wars? Wouldn’t a massive tennis tournament be a nicer way for nations to settle their differences? This is one of the many questions Harvard professor Elaine Scarry attempts to answer, along with why nuclear war is akin to torture, why the language surrounding war is sterilized in public discourse, and why both war and torture unmake human worlds by destroying access to language. It’s a big lift of a read, but even if you just read chapter two (like I did), you’ll come away thinking about war in new and refreshing ways. [Buy]

- David Roza, Air Force reporter

Stalingrad: The Fateful Siege: 1942-1943 by Antony Beevor

Stalingrad takes readers all the way from the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union to the collapse of the 6th Army at Stalingrad in February 1943. It gives you the perspective of German and Soviet soldiers during the most apocalyptic battle of the 20th century. [Buy]

- Jeff Schogol, Pentagon correspondent

America's War for the Greater Middle East by Andrew J. Bacevich

I picked up America's War for the Greater Middle East earlier this year and couldn’t put it down. Published in 2016 by Andrew Bacevich, a historian and retired Army officer who served in Vietnam, the book unravels the long and winding history of how America got so entangled in the Middle East and shows that we’ve been fighting one long war since the 1980s — with errors in judgment from political leaders on both sides of the aisle to blame. “From the end of World War II until 1980, virtually no American soldiers were killed in action while serving in the Greater Middle East. Since 1990, virtually no American soldiers have been killed in action anywhere else. What caused this shift?” the book jacket asks. As Bacevich details in this definitive history, the mission creep of our Vietnam experience has been played out again and again over the past 30 years, with disastrous results. [Buy]

- Paul Szoldra, editor-in-chief

Burn In: A Novel of the Real Robotic Revolution by P.W. Singer and August Cole

In Burn In, Singer and Cole take readers on a journey at an unknown date in the future, in which an FBI agent searches for a high-tech terrorist in Washington, D.C. Set after what the authors called the "real robotic revolution," Agent Lara Keegan is teamed up with a robot that is less Terminator and far more of a useful, and highly intelligent, law enforcement tool. Perhaps the most interesting part: Just about everything that happens in the story can be traced back to technologies that are being researched today. You can read Task & Purpose's interview with the authors here. [Buy]

- James Clark, senior reporter

SAS: Rogue Heroes by Ben MacIntyre

Like WWII? Like a band of eccentric daredevils wreaking havoc on fascists? Then you'll love SAS: Rogue Heroes, which re-tells some truly insane heists performed by one of the first modern special forces units. Best of all, Ben MacIntyre grounds his history in a compassionate, balanced tone that displays both the best and worst of the SAS men, who are, like anyone else, only human after all. [Buy]

- David Roza, Air Force reporter

The Alice Network by Kate Quinn

The Alice Network is a gripping novel which follows two courageous women through different time periods — one living in the aftermath of World War II, determined to find out what has happened to someone she loves, and the other working in a secret network of spies behind enemy lines during World War I. This gripping historical fiction is based on the true story of a network that infiltrated German lines in France during The Great War and weaves a tale so packed full of drama, suspense, and tragedy that you won’t be able to put it down. [Buy]

Katherine Rondina, Anchor Books

“Because I published a new book this year, I've been answering questions about my inspirations. This means I've been thinking about and so thankful for The Girl in the Flammable Skirt by Aimee Bender. I can't credit it with making me want to be a writer — that desire was already there — but it inspired me to write stories where the fantastical complicates the ordinary, and the impossible becomes possible. A girl in a nice dress with no one to appreciate it. An unremarkable boy with a remarkable knack for finding things. The stories in this book taught me that the everydayness of my world could become magical and strange, and in that strangeness I could find a new kind of truth.”

Diane Cook is the author of the novel The New Wilderness, which was long-listed for the 2020 Booker Prize, and the story collection Man V. Nature, which was a finalist for the Guardian First Book Award, the Believer Book Award, the PEN/Hemingway Award, and the Los Angeles Times Award for First Fiction. Read an excerpt from The New Wilderness.

Bill Johnston, University of California Press

“I’ve revisited a lot of old favorites in this grim year of fear and isolation, and have been most thankful of all for The Collected Poems of Frank O’Hara. Witty, reflexive, intimate, queer, disarmingly occasional and monumentally serious all at once, they’ve been a constant balm and inspiration. ‘The only thing to do is simply continue,’ he wrote, in 'Adieu to Norman, Bon Jour to Joan and Jean-Paul'; ‘is that simple/yes, it is simple because it is the only thing to do/can you do it/yes, you can because it is the only thing to do.’”

Helen Macdonald is a nature essayist with a semiregular column in the New York Times Magazine. Her latest novel, Vesper Flights, is a collection of her best-loved essays, and her debut book, H Is for Hawk, won the Samuel Johnson Prize for Nonfiction and the Costa Book Award, and was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award and the Kirkus Prize for Nonfiction.

Andrea Scher, Scholastic Press

“This year, I’m so grateful for You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. Reading — like everything else — has been a struggle for me in 2020. It’s been tough to let go of all of my anxieties about the state of the world and our country and get swept away by a story. But You Should See Me in a Crown pulled me in right away; for the blissful time that I was reading it, it made me think about a world outside of 2020 and it made me smile from ear to ear. Joy has been hard to come by this year, and I’m so thankful for this book for the joy it brought me.”

Jasmine Guillory is the New York Times bestselling author of five romance novels, including this year’s Party of Two. Her work has appeared in O, The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Real Simple, and Time.

Nelson Fitch, Random House

“Last year, stuck in a prolonged reading rut that left me wondering if I even liked books anymore, I stumbled across Tenth of December by George Saunders, a collection of stories Saunders wrote between 1995 and 2012 that are at turns funny, moving, startling, weird, profound, and often all of those things at the same time. As a writer, what I crave most from books is to find one so excellent it makes me feel like I'd be better off quitting — and so wonderful that it reminds me what it is to be purely a reader again, encountering new worlds and revelations every time I turn a page. Tenth of December is that, and I'm so grateful that it fell off a high shelf and into my life.”

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Divergent series and the Carve the Mark duology. Her latest novel, Chosen Ones, is her first novel for adults. Read an excerpt from Chosen Ones.

Ian Byers-Gamber, Blazevox Books

“Waking up today to the prospect of some hours spent reading away part of another day of this disastrous, delirious pandemic year, I’m most grateful for the book in my hands, one itself full of gratitude for a life spent reading: Gloria Frym’s How Proust Ruined My Life. Frym’s essays — on Marcel Proust, yes, and Walt Whitman, and Lucia Berlin, but also peppermint-stick candy and Allen Ginsburg’s knees, among other Proustian memory-prompts — restore me to my sense of my eerie luck at a life spent rushing to the next book, the next page, the next word.”

Jonathan Lethem is the author of a number of critically acclaimed novels, including The Fortress of Solitude and the National Book Critics Circle Award winner Motherless Brooklyn. His latest novel, The Arrest, is a postapocalyptic tale about two siblings, the man that came between them, and a nuclear-powered super car.

David Heska Wanbli Weiden, Riverhead

“I’m incredibly grateful for the magnificent The Heartbeat of Wounded Knee by David Treuer. This book — a mélange of history, memoir, and reportage — is the reconceptualization of Native life that’s been urgently needed since the last great indigenous history, Dee Brown’s Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. It’s at once a counternarrative and a replacement for Brown’s book, and it rejects the standard tale of Native victimization, conquest, and defeat. Even though I teach Native American studies to college students, I found new insights and revelations in almost every chapter. Not only a great read, the book is a tremendous contribution to Native American — and American — intellectual and cultural history.”

David Heska Wanbli Weiden, an enrolled member of the Sicangu Lakota Nation, is author of the novel Winter Counts, which is BuzzFeed Book Club’s November pick. He is also the author of the children’s book Spotted Tail, which won the 2020 Spur Award from the Western Writers of America. Read an excerpt from Winter Counts.

Valerie Mosley, Tordotcom

“In 2020, I've been lucky to finish a single book within 30 days, but I burned through this 507-page brick in the span of a weekend. Harrow the Ninth reminded me that even when absolutely everything is terrible, it's still possible to feel deep, gratifying, brain-buzzing admiration for brilliant art. Thank you, Harrow, for being one of the brightest spots in a dark year and for keeping the home fires burning.”

Casey McQuiston is the New York Times bestselling author of Red, White & Royal Blue, and her next book, One Last Stop, comes out in 2021.

"I'm grateful for V.S. Naipaul's troubling masterpiece, A Bend in the River — which not only made me see the world anew, but made me see what literature could do. It's a book that's lucid enough to reveal the brutality of the forces shaping our world and its politics; yet soulful enough to penetrate the most recondite secrets of human interiority. A book of great beauty without a moment of mercy. A marriage of opposites that continues to shape my own deeper sense of just how much a writer can actually accomplish."

Ayad Akhtar is a novelist and playwright, and his latest novel, Homeland Elegies, is about an American son and his immigrant father searching for belonging in a post-9/11 country. He is the winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Drama and an Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters.

Vanessa German, Feminist Press

“I'm most thankful for Daddy Was a Number Runner by Louise Meriwether. It's a YA book set in 1930s Harlem, and it was the first Black-girl-coming-of-age book I ever read, the first time I ever saw myself in a book. I appreciate how it expanded my world and my understanding that books can speak to you right where you are and take you on a journey, at the same time.”

Deesha Philyaw’s debut short story collection, The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, was a finalist for the 2020 National Book Award for Fiction. She is also the co-author of Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households After Divorce, written in collaboration with her ex-husband. Philyaw’s writing on race, parenting, gender, and culture has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, McSweeney’s, the Rumpus, and elsewhere. Read a story from The Secret Lives of Church Ladies.

Philippa Gedge, W. W. Norton & Company

“As both a writer and a reader I am hugely grateful for Patricia Highsmith’s plotting and writing suspense fiction. As a writer I’m thankful for Highsmith’s generosity with her wisdom and experience: She talks us through how to tease out the narrative strands and develop character, how to know when things are going awry, even how to decide to give things up as a bad job. She’s unabashed about sharing her own ‘failures,’ and in my experience, there’s nothing more encouraging for a writer than learning that our literary gods are mortal! As a reader, it provides a fascinating insight into the genesis of one of my favorite novels of all time — The Talented Mr. Ripley, as well as the rest of her brilliant oeuvre. And because it’s Highsmith, it’s so much more than just a how-to guide: It’s hugely engaging and, while accessible, also provides a glimpse into the mind of a genius. I’ve read it twice — while working on each of my thrillers, The Hunting Party and The Guest List — and I know I’ll be returning to the well-thumbed copy on my shelf again soon!”

Lucy Foley is the New York Times bestselling author of the thrillers The Guest List and The Hunting Party. She has also written two historical fiction novels and previously worked in the publishing industry as a fiction editor.

“The books I'm most thankful for this year are a three-book series titled Tales from the Gas Station by Jack Townsend. Walking a fine line between comedy and horror (which is much harder than people think), the books follow Jack, an employee at a gas station in a nameless town where all manner of horrifyingly fantastical things happen. And while the monsters are scary and more than a little ridiculous, it's Jack's bone-dry narration, along with his best friend/emotional support human, Jerry, that elevates the books into something that are as lovely as they are absurd.”

T.J. Klune is a Lambda Literary Award–winning author and an ex-claims examiner for an insurance company. His novels include The House in the Cerulean Sea and The Extraordinaries.

Sylvernus Darku (Team Black Image Studio), Ayebia Clarke Publishing

"Nervous Conditions is a book that I have read several times over the years, including this year. The novel covers the themes of gender and race and has at its heart Tambu, a young girl in 1960s Rhodesia determined to get an education and to create a better life for herself. Dangarembga’s prose is evocative and witty, and the story is thought-provoking. I’ve been inspired anew by Tambu each time I’ve read this book."

Peace Adzo Medie is Senior Lecturer in Gender and International Politics at the University of Bristol. She is the author of Global Norms and Local Action: The Campaigns to End Violence against Women in Africa (Oxford University Press, 2020). His Only Wife is her debut novel.

Jenna Maurice, HarperCollins

“The book I'm most thankful for? Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. My mother and father would read me poems from it before bed — I'm convinced it infused me not only with a sense of poetic cadence, but also a wry sense of humor.”

Victoria “V.E.” Schwab is the bestselling author of more than a dozen books, including Vicious, the Shades of Magic series, and This Savage Song. Her latest novel, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, is BuzzFeed Book Club’s December pick. Read an excerpt from The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue.

Meg Vázquez, Square Fish

“My childhood best friend gave me Troubling a Star by Madeleine L'Engle for Hanukkah when I was 11 years old, and it's still my favorite book of all time. I love the way it defies genre (it's a political thriller/YA romance that includes a lot of scientific research and also poetry??), and the way it values smartness, gutsiness, vulnerability, kindness, and a sense of adventure. The book follows 16-year-old Vicky Austin's life-altering trip to Antarctica; her trip changed my life, too. In a year when safe travel is almost impossible, I'm so grateful to be able to return to her story again and again.”

Kate Stayman-London's debut novel, One to Watch, is about a plus-size blogger who’s been asked to star on a Bachelorette-like reality show. Stayman-London served as lead digital writer for Hillary Rodham Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign and has written for notable figures, from former president Obama and Malala Yousafzai to Anna Wintour and Cher.

Katharine McGee is grateful for the Redwall series by Brian Jacques. Chris Bailey Photography, Firebird

“I’m thankful for the Redwall books by Brian Jacques. I discovered the series in elementary school, and it sparked a love of big, epic stories that has never left me. (If you read my books, you know I can’t resist a broad cast of characters!) I used to read the books aloud to my younger sister, using funny voices for all the narrators. Now that I have a little boy of my own, I can’t wait to someday share Redwall with him.”

Katharine McGee is the New York Times bestselling author of American Royals and its sequel, Majesty. She is also the author of the Thousandth Floor trilogy.

Beth Gwinn, Time-Life Books

"I am thankful most for books that carry me out of the world and back again, and while I find it painful to choose among them, here's one early and one late: Zen Cho's Black Water Sister, which comes out in 2021 but I devoured just two days ago, and the long out-of-print Wizards and Witches volume of the Time-Life Enchanted World series, which is where I first read about the legend of the Scholomance."

Naomi Novik is the New York Times bestselling author of the Nebula Award–winning novel Uprooted, Spinning Silver, and the nine-volume Temeraire series. Her latest novel, A Deadly Education, is the first of the Scholomance trilogy.

Christina Lauren are grateful for the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. Christina Lauren, Little, Brown and Company

"We are thankful for the Twilight series for about a million reasons, not the least of which it's what brought the two of us together. Writing fanfic in a space where we could be silly and messy together taught us that we don't have to be perfect, but there's no harm in trying to get better with every attempt. It also cemented for us that the best relationships are the ones in which you can be your real, authentic self, even when you're struggling to do things you never thought you'd be brave enough to attempt. Twilight brought millions of readers back into the fold and inspired hundreds of romance authors. We really do thank Stephenie Meyer every day for the gift of Twilight and the fandom it created."

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furederiko · 7 years ago

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This is the LAST post for December, meaning it's also the FINAL post for the year. Anything special to publish in the conclusive day of 2017? NOPE. Just this... uhmmm, random ramblings. Ahahaha...

My internet went down completely for around 2 weeks since December 13th. The unexpected 'incident' (I apparently has burned my modem *sigh*) made me switched into my creative side and did genuine FUN non-internet related things instead. And I got all caught up by it... that I practically did NOT prepare anything for Tumblr.

Had a Random-News-Digest prepared for mid-December, but ditched it completely because the content would be highly outdated now. Wanted to do my monthly recap-view for "Kamen Rider Build", but haven't finished it so it'll have to wait until next month. The only thing I could pull off was the recap-views for "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" last 2 episodes of the year. Though to be honest, that amazing show was part of my 'offline fun' as well. So yeah, unlike last year, there is no TOP 10 list this year. Didn't even publish anything for Christmas, because I completely FORGOT about it! LOL... (^^;)

Anyways, to make up for all of that, I've written a rough 'RECAP' of what went through my life this year. Entertainment-wise, of course, and not all but just some of the highlights. In list form! Why? Because I feel like it *grins*. Here goes nothing...

Movies, Oh movies...

- Watched even less movies on the theatre this year, and opted to wait several releases on home video. Only went to see the big guns, thus there isn't any disappointment. - Surprisingly, I loved the live action "Beauty and the Beast" more than the animated original. Dan Stevens' solo number "Evermore" is stuck in my head ever since. - Haven't seen "Coco", and really want to. Here's hoping the home video will be released soon. I guess I should see "Cars 3" first, huh? - "Dunkirk" was magnificent. War movie is usually not my forte, so I'm pleasantly surprised that Christopher Nolan managed to make me enjoy one. Was it the short duration, the all-out jerks of the army, or the non-stop intensity? Don't know. But if there's at least one thing I've gained from it: I disliked Harry Styles ever more now. No kidding. Poor French soldier... - I'm a visual guy so when I saw a disturbing scene, it usually stayed on my head for a good while. That bloody scene after the bomb explosion on "Stronger", for example? *sigh*. I hope Jake Gyllenhall receives an Oscar nomination for his work on this movie. - "Death Note" and "Ghost in the Shell"? Enjoyed the first one more, but both deserved better. - Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" was mediocre, but I'm among the minority who actually want to see more of Universal's Dark Universe. Even if just to see more of Russell Crowe going Jekyll. Charlie Hunnam's "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" was the movie's kindred spirit, while "Kong: Skull Island" was the opposite. Kong will be meeting Godzilla in the coming years! - Comic book adaptations were generally top notch. Naturally the three Marvel Studios' releases; "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", "Spider-Man: Homecoming", and "Thor: Ragnarok"; would be my top picks. Don't ask me to choose which one is the best though! All three were amazing and marvelous in their own unique ways, so I'd gladly rank them in the same spot just to be fair. - I admit, "Logan" and "Wonder Woman" were great too, but I didn't like them as much as everyone else on the planet. Not sure why, I guess... none of them was my cup of tea? Let's just say, there were problems on each of them that I couldn't quite tolerate and it reduced my overall impression on them. - Don't ask about "Justice League". I'll wait until I can borrow a copy when it's out on home video. Not wasting my money on a poorly reviewed DC Films. For now, "The LEGO Batman Movie" remains to be the best DC release of the year. - "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" was just NOT as good as the prequel. It was fun, but it felt like it's repetitive yet also missing something and trying too much.

Show Must Go On...

- Just realized that I've seen MORE TV series this year! Both the currently in broadcast, or titles from previouse years like "Westworld". Oh WOW... - Both Marvel's "Iron Fist" and Marvel's "The Defenders" were genuine duds. Both TV series were underwhelming and disappointing, that I have lost any urge to see Marvel's "The Punisher". - Haven't seen Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." 5th season as well, because I haven't been feeling it. Though that will change in the near future because I'm itching to see its 5th episode. Hey, my boy Fitz and Hunter are the star of that episode, right? THAT I just have to see! I wonder if seeing that episode would be enough to convince me to watch the previous four episodes... - Currently following Marvel's "Runaways", though this 1st season might be my first and last. Don't know why, but not feeling it either. I think CW's "Riverdale" was a more watchable show, and even that one have been dropped after Season 1. LOL. I guess teenage soap-opera is just NOT my thing. - The 5th and final season of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" was kind of... all over the place too. This show should've ended with Season 3, if you ask me. It had a bittersweet ending, akin to "Samurai Jack". But it also did not ended gracefully, and far less enjoyable to follow. - "Stranger Things" Season 2 was amazing. It had a somewhat different vibe compared to the 1st one, but equally enjoyable to watch. Poor characters whose name starts with 'B'... - I think the 3rd and 4th Seasons of "Voltron Legendary Defender" were initially meant to be one unit. The show's first two seasons were impressive, but these latter two were... okay? I don't know why, but it felt like it has waned a bit. - "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" was somewhat similar. I had great time with Season 1 and 2, but Season 3 was a bit... uneven. Many of the jokes didn't quite hit, and some of the story development started feeling like a recycled trick. Still, I would love to see a 4th Season, and hopefully with better improvements. - Was expecting "Big Hero 6: The Series" to be as amazing as the Oscar-winning movie... but alas that didn't seem to be the case. Didn't quite enjoy the 2-episodes premiere as much as I wanted to. A complete opposite to "DuckTales", that hit all the right notes. The sole complaint I have about this reboot/remake, is that Scrooge McDuck's adventure isn't airing new episodes on a weekly basis! Aaaaargggh, the long wait is making me angry. - If you haven't seen "Thunderbirds Are Go", then what are you waiting for? I feel the 2nd Season had more and more amazing moments, to the point that I hope Season 3 will come sooner than later. - Comedies are taking my leisure time now! Have been following Seth McFarlane's "The Orville". It was mediocre to good, and desperately in need of improvements (hopefully in Season 2). Yet I keep going back and see it. Is it the star power of its guest stars? - Adam Scott and Craig Robinson's "Ghosted" is on my top priority watch. Sure, the quality has reduced a bit since the pilot, but the supernatural agents aren't going anytime soon from my house. - The same with Kevin Finn! Great goodness, I have only started watching "Kevin Probably Saves the World" since early this month (the benefit of NOT getting preoccupied by the internet LOL), but I'm already regretting why I didn't start sooner. Now I honestly can't wait to see more! Kevin is such an adorkable, likeable, and surprisingly relatable quirky lead. The kind of guy I would totally love to be best friends with in real life. Really though, the show is infectuous with its acts of kindness, heartwarming with its pleasant vibes, and also surprisingly engaging through its personal conflicts. If you hear me giggling, laughing out loud, or sobbing lately, you can probably thank Kevin, his guardian Angel, family, and friends for that! Seriously...

A Spoonful of Anime and Toku

- Turns out, "Kekkai Sensen & Beyond" wasn't the sequel that I expected to be. It's... 'different' than the first season. But when you get to see what the other members of Libra (even the team's butler) are doing in their daily lives, should one even be complaining? In the end it was indeed as amazing and fun ride as the first season, even if lead protagonist Leonardo Watch took a back seat most of the season. I'm already crossing my fingers to see more adventure of the team. But it likely won't happen in the near future, huh? Bummer... - "Ballroom e Youkoso" was a peculiar dance. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half, but after Tatara changed partner things got... hectic and irritating to follow? It was still good, but a rather uneven show if you ask me for honest impression. At the very least, it wasn't a wasted opportunity like "Kabuki-bu!" was. - "Houseki no Kuni" was of similar situation. Its animation was gorgeous, story was peculiarly engaging, and world building was great. But there were episodes that were undeniably better than the rest, and I didn't quite like how it ended. I guess that finale was teasing for more seasons? Hmmm... - It's been years since I follow a Pretty Cure series, and "Kira Kira Precure A La Mode" wet my appetite and got me back to the game. Unfortunately, while the design was interesting, and the sweets angle was neat, the story was somewhat weak. I have lost my initial enthusiasm after the first half, but I still watch it because it's going to end pretty soon. Not quite expecting a mindblowing finale though, especially if the animation quality is any indication. A common problem of TOEI Animation. Remember "Sekaisuru KADO"? - Dang it, what an impressive year it has been with Super Sentai. "Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger" was kind of dull and boring last year, but had a great ending this year. And it was quickly followed by something even better. Yes, another show that has dragged me on a pleasant roller coaster ride is none other than TOEI's "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger". Since its premiere run on February, until its Christmas episode that wrapped up its 2017 run, I haven't been disappointed once with the series. Yes, I had an issue with the spin-off series of V-Cinema "Episode of Stinger", but that didn't count as the broadcast lineup. Though it's painful for me to soon say goodbye to this amazing season, I hope its last month will be memorable and a blast. Particularly because I'm currently having second thoughts about the 2018 season... - Just like its weekly storyline, "Kamen Rider Build" is still moving me back and forth. I'm honestly on the verge of dropping it completely, but I guess I'm going to check out several episodes from the next "Kamen Rider Wars" arc. I kind of feel it takes too long to get to this point when it could've been done earlier, but who am I to argue, right?

Name of the Game

- "Nintendo Switch" was a hit! Ever since its release on March 2017, the buzz and hype for this hybrid console only continue to increase. I wonder if I will be able to purchase one next year? Perhaps, just in time for the next Pokemon gen? - Speaking of Pokemon, the addition of Generation III from Hoenn region has made me go out and explore "Pokemon GO" again. The whole Raid Battle system and Niantic's handling of the Legendary Pokemon had disappointed so bad that I was close to give up on this App. Thankfully, now I have a horde of new reason to walk around the neighborhood. Problem is, can the same premise work in the long run? Niantic really need to consider new social features that enables players to engage with one another. - "Street Fighter V" had a weird set of DLC characters this year. The 2nd Season contained mostly new characters, that was a hit or miss with fans. Thankfully, things seem to be picking up next year with the Arcade Edition. Not just because my man Cody Travers is all dandy clean and returning to the game, of course. Question is, will I be able to play the game eventhough I don't have any plans to pick up a PS4? *giggles*. - I also haven't been able to play "Persona 5" due to the exact reason. LOL. Thankfully, "Persona 5 the Animation" has been announced to air next year. Sure, I'm a bit skeptical with the fact that A-1 Pictures and not Production I.G. will be doing the animation, but at least this will be my way of enjoying the game... WITHOUT actually playing it. - LEVEL-5 should do more of that worldwide Puzzle Quest! That was meant to be a prelude or some sort to "Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and The Millionaires' Conspiracy", but I think the game developer should learn by now that it could work as a stand alone project. It made people come together in surprising way, and attracted fans to come back everyday to check out the new worldwide puzzle. Real FUN!

Oookaaay, that went A LOT longer than I expected. And I'm 100% sure that there are items that completely slipped my mind. As of writing this line, it's only just a few hours before the year ends! Aaaaarggggh *grumble*. Gotta publish this one soon then!

With that said, 2017 has been a difficult and challenging year. Particularly to a very discriminative and straight-out evil political atmosphere. One that allowed people to show their true despicable nature and selfishly trampled others for it. Last year I did say that "There's so many reasons to be hopeful about 2017", but reality had spoken differently as it turned out there were plenty more to discourage us throughout the year. Many people have even lost their fate in humanity this year.

But you know what? I'm going to say the same thing this day as well. There are SOOO many reasons to be hopeful about 2018. I don't know if it's because I'm currently caught up in the holiday spirit, or because I've been feeling extra thankful and blessed this month. One thing I can openly attest, is that things DO GET BETTER. So don't ever lose hope, and keep fighting the good fight in the name of just and goodness. I'm being lazy right now, so I'm just going to copy and paste my own words from last year: "Life can sometimes be hard, but all we need to do is stay strong, stay high spirited, and more importantly, keep moving forward! Happiness and blessings will surely find its way, in ways you might not imagine!".

And also this next one... because I'm going to be saying more or less the same kind of statements anyway: "Thanks to those who have been reading my blog all year long. I know I haven't spent much time (or any) to address you one by one, and heck, I might not even know you're there. But please know that I'll always be grateful for your presence, your time, kindness, and more importantly patience to walk through my long and sometimes pointless ramblings. What you've been doing means a lot for me, and I hope what I've been posting has and will somehow benefit back to you in return.". 2017 ends in just a few hours away, so let's enter and stride through 2018 with a hopeful and brave heart, the biggest and earnest smiles, the most sincere love and compassion for others regardless of their religion, race, or skin color. More importantly, let's make 2018 a year that we can be proud of. Where we take a stand for what's right and good! Where we become better human being than we are this year!

SEE YOU TOMORROW IN 2018!!!

#message #quotes #life quotes #wisewords #Just for Fun #random thoughts #movie #TV show #anime #game #review

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