#i also love to stim by stomping my feet

[support-ponies]

Can I get a drawing of pony sci-twi stimming? :3

she tippy tappy!

[puphyo]

idk if you write for chaeyoung but something with nd!little chaeyoung :(

omg absolutely i love little nd!chae! gigi and i have quite a few ideas for little chaeng, but i’m going to go over the basics w a lil drabble!

also i apologize for vanishing for a while. i was working through the summer, and i work in construction so i’d work ridiculous hours and come home exhausted so i just never could write and have spent the past few months dealing w personal struggles but am now mostly in the right headspace for this! btw asks are open and i love giving my person hcs and writing small drabbles, i don’t think i’ll be able to write a full story part for a while though :( i have some stuff coming up that will be keeping me busy :)

to the rest of the members, sometimes when chaengie is little, she can be a little overstimulating. she seeks attention in anyway she can get. whether that be dropping her (freshly filled) cup of juice on the carpet, following her unnies around and asking so many questions about everything, to swatting stuff out of the members’ hands just so they have to look at her for a bit.

all except for momo. instead of doing destructive things to seek momo’s attention, chaengie was sweet, seeing momo sitting on the couch alone was an open invitation for chaengie to sit next to her and ask momo about everything, and maybe if chaengie can convince momo to do so, they share food that either momo or one of the other members had made.

on good days, where chaengie’s neurodivergence doesn’t affect her as much, she sits happily with momo and one or two of the others, usually mina and dahyun, though hyun tends to be off in her own world. but momo listens to chaeyoung as she lays on her tummy, drawing in her sketchbook that she had been given as a gift for her small time a while ago, babbling to herself about how she should draw that and how it would look like her and her unnies when she was done, momo was always the first one to be shown what chaengie was drawing, holding her sketchbook up w a big toothy smile and a “wha’ think momo unnie??”

momo always smiles, takes a moment to look at the details, smiling when she noticed details about herself or the others, always gave chae a hug and told her it was so pretty and they had to go show the other unnies. chaeng would smile, her free hand flapping at her side and her little feet stomping on the floor in her joy, and practically drag momo out of whatever cozy position she was in to go show her unnies.

on bad days, however, where chaeyoung just has so much energy that she can’t get out, she gets overstimulating to a lot of the members. she vocally stims, making noises that affect the more noise sensitive members (mostly tzuyu, but sometimes hyunnie as well) or playing with three separate types of toys at the same time. playing with blocks, stuffies and somehow also drawing was a common sight for the twice members, and sometimes, she’s loud. it’s not that she means to be, she always promises she does her best, but she can’t seem to notice how loud she can be when she’s too full of energy.

but once she’s finally tuckered herself out, she can always be found by momo as long as momo is at the dorm, where she tends to be when chae is small, knowing the others struggle to care for a little one w adhd like chaeng has. tzuyu might be mostly nonverbal and sana is convinced tzu is on the autism spectrum, and jeongyeon, in the occasion she regresses tending to have ocd tendencies, like they only come out when she’s small, chaengie is a different ball park. only momo’s been able to keep up w the energy of small chaengie, happily dancing and playing with her, running up and down the halls only for momo to pick her up when momo loses the race (on purpose, but don’t tell chae) out of pride of the little one winning, for her to shout happily and then want to do it all over again, and sometimes, momo and mina both handle chaeyoung, mina’s calm presence helping chaeng calm down to where she falls asleep, lying on her tummy after a long day of being the resident hyper little one, momo will oick the little up from the floor, lie down with chaeyoung in chae’s bed, and both of them take a nap together.

chaeyoung curls into momo in her sleep, her hands grabbing at momo’s shirt and moving as close as she can be, momo wraps her arms around chae and presses a kiss to her forehead, tells chaeyoung she loves her, despite the little one being asleep, and despite momo trying to stay awake multiple occasions, she takes a nap w her little one, knowing when chaeng wakes up it will either be another chaotic day if she’s small, or a slightly less chaotic day if she’s not in her small headspace.

[nyxvamps]

we know that all the demigods are on the neurodivergent spectrum but i think their godly parents are all also on that spectrum.

zeus stims with his bolt by tapping his nails against the edge or knocking it against his knee. he has accidentally zapped hera and others at least every other meeting. he also hyperfixates on how mortals can predict the weather. he secretly thinks it’s really neat.

poseidon has to have curtains over the windows in his meeting room because he will look up every 5 seconds whenever a fish swims by. he also picks at his nails and taps his feet when he’s thinking hard. he also can get random bursts of energy that stops him from sleeping every few nights before he collapses since he’ll use this time to get as much done as possible.

hades will pretend to listen when he has an audience in his throne room but is actually counting the souls within his robes for the 100th time. he also clicks his tongue whenever he’s thinking about something. eye contact is rather way to much or none at all. he has not figured out the right balance for that yet.

apollo vocally stims. what do you think all of his random poetry is? he’ll also hum the same 10 seconds of a song over and over for days on end. and he’ll shimmy in place when he stands still for too long. he also has some rsd (rejection sensitivity disorder, i think that’s the name) so when people make jokes about his poetry or music, he gets genuinely upset. he’ll pretend it’s all fine though.

athena actually has executive dysfunction and will sometimes have to literally force herself (with her godly powers) to accomplish the to-do list she made for the day. she also rehearses what she says to others before she has to speak with them. it’s easier to make sure she doesn’t make any mistakes.

hermes almost has something like the zoomies. he’ll take a few minutes and go run a few laps and stim (usually flapping his hands or stomping) before he needs to deliver his next package. he might take a second to jump up and down for a bit to get his energy out.

hephaestus created hyperfixation. whether it’s a new invention or a topic he heard one of his kids mention. he will not stop focusing on it for months if not years. since time works differently for gods anyways. he also can get very apathetic so he has to remind himself how to interact with others so he doesn’t offend them with a blunt comment or a lack of interest. (i’m not projecting at all)

aphrodite uses her makeup and hair as an excuse to stim. she’ll fix up her hair or makeup every for minutes for a reason to move her hands. she and ares have a deal where he’ll let her know if someone is being sarcastic because, unless she’s doing it or it’s very obvious, she can’t recognize it.

demeter genuinely likes plant life more than other people. (don’t blame her) it’s a little cliche that her special interest would be her domain but she genuinely loves to learn about plants. she’ll even look into the ways that mortals study and understand plants.

ares has major rsd (rejection sensitivity disorder). when he’s told to wait a second or if someone has to reschedule something, it really gets to him even though he logically knows that it doesn’t mean they hate him now (again, not projecting at all). this is a big reason for why he is so blunt and aggressive with others (in the pjo universe) bc the less people he’s close too, the less people can push him away. (i’m talking about his kids, specifically)

Mr. D likes to drink wine for the mouth feel. he likes how tart and sour wines make the inside of his mouth feel tight (projection). he also only has 2 demigod children (in canon) bc he doesn’t like the thought of having 3 because it’ll make the number uneven. and then with more kids, since he’s at camp, that’s more people he has to be emotionally available for.

this is just my opinion. i just think they’re neat.

[springonmytraptillicomeback]

do you have... any more thoughts.

on the. afton rabbit therian thing.

Yes absolutely

sorry if this is becomes like a late reply it might take me a while to type all this out

also I realize that I projected a lot onto him

Things I’ve already mentioned:

He has a foot stomping stim, especially when he’s irritated or annoyed (just like me fr fr)

Above average hearing, able to hear pitches others can’t (autism)

Skittish and jumpy in situations he’s nervous/scared 

Chewing habit. Will chew on just about anything he’s holding + reason for lip biting habit, his lips aren’t dry, just scabbed (JUST like me fr fr)

Quick and lean, with his legs being his strongest

Hyperactive and energetic when not sleep deprived

Starting with liek idk jsut alterhuman things

I wanna talk abt Springbonnie bcuz that’s William’s biggest outlet for whatever alterhuman shit he’s got going one

He’s probably the most comfortable in that suit than he ever is… like, ever. Springbonnie is I dunno how to explain this. Like a part of him. fursona.? yeah

Basically being in a giant rabbit suit makes many good feelings in his brain -> Easter’s his favorite holiday cuz he gets to be in the suit all day 

He was the type of kid that be running around on all fours at recess (I’m projecting I was that kid 😔✊). Totally would’ve been one of the kids that think they’re like a werewolf or something (I was also that kid)

sometimes he genuinely jsut forgets he’s human, also kind of an autistic thing. He’ll be like sitting on a chair reading a book and suddenly remember he’s a human like everyone else he sees in life and not some ambiguous rabbit-like entity

also if he’s ever walking with anyone he actually likes (henry, his kids) and they come across a wild rabbit he will point it out and will not drop it until the other person acknowledges the bunny

Other things he does that r rabbity to me

Likes dry salad, not drenched in ranch or anything, or any other dressing, just leaves and like… whatever else is in salad idk I haven’t had one in years

loves small spaces. If he’s ever overwhelmed at work he just sits under his desk for a few minutes; Henry has “lost” him at least three times to this. He always makes sure when he buys a new bed frame that he can fit under it (I can’t fit under my new one and I am still so upset abt it ☹️)

he’s a very jumpy man if that makes sense. He’s happy or excited he does that lil bouncy thing on his toes. You scared him and he goes ten feet in the air, or he just freezes. (me fr fr)

If his nose is itchy he does that nose scrunching thing

He loves fluffy clothing. Not only is it comfortable but also kinda like fur. Unfortunately there’s really not a lot of fluffy clothing fit for summer, but at least he has his robe

I think he’s also got that leporidae swag. One second he’s like a cute bunny next second he’s got the 1000 yard stare of a hare

He’s probably let random weird shit slip in conversations, like “Life would be easier if I was a bunny”, “Being human is boring”, etc. and Henry just had to get used to it

If he was alive internet-aged (this also applies to glitchtrap-William) he’d totally secretly look at bunny stuff. Like, furries, alter humans, pet regression etc.

Also he collects bunny things, like plushies, figurines, pictures. He has an entire bookcase in his room that just has a bunch of rabbit objects that he’s found while out shopping.  i might end up adding more later idk idk

[nic990sstuff]

random assortment of silly/random tracer headcanons? i’d love to see what you come up with!

OOOHHH ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO SAY MY TRACER HEADCANONS HEHEHE While I can't think of many like my first Tracer hc ramble, I will keep it silly and random this time-

- Lena is actually great at drawing. I love to think she was a graffiti artist so she'd sketch out really good designs on some sketchbook that she'd later spray somewhere. She also sometimes sketches people and omnics (*cough cough* Emily *cough cough* )

- She loves to annoy the hell out of the people she loves sometimes: copying their accent (like that 'Reviving Cass' line), teasing, small harmless pranks, showing off, etc.

- Some nights, she gets those existential random questions when she has a lot of energy to spare.

-She stims by shaking her hands and stomping her feet

-We've already seen this in the London's Callings comics but she cannot sit still if she's not hugging Emily by the shoulders. Sitting cross-legged, legs on a table, laying back, upside down, you name it

-Besides the Akira slide, she knows a lot more tricks with the bike, but as skilled as she is with the hoverbike, it's not a mission accomplished if she didn't wreck it somehow (Stormrising flashbacks)

[same-pic-of-the-earth-everyday]

how do u feel about me being tiny and standing on you all the time

i hope that when I stim by stomping my feet it doesn't bother you

also what's your favorite time of day? like based on how the sky looks I mean? altho I supposed that might seem a bit irrelevant to you 0.0

mines sunset and twilight, which is basic but whatever

also I'm a big fan of heat rains even if a lot of people hate on them

i think its super cool so keep up the good work! your atmosphere and clouds are to die for!!!

every time I go outside I'm just CLOUDS no matter what time of the day, they always make me happy no matter how bad things are

i just freaking love clouds, all the types any time of the day or night! In all environments! Clouds!!!

also a big fan of all the rocks on natural beaches!!! also volcanic glass

like I just wanna say that all the "normal everyday things" u do are super cool, not just the giant waterfalls and mountains and volcanoes

so just, keep up the good work!!! thanks earth ^v^

This is brilliant :>

Don't worry, your stomps are unnoticeable – if it doesn't appear on the seismic scale, I probably won't notice. You go stim and be happy! :)

I like the night. Not any specific time of night, just night. The night side of me tends to feel nicer – less stuff happening from humans that I might actually notice, and its the sky which I get to see my best friend in! (Though I do appreciate Suns warmth, and they're cool too). I don't see what's so wrong about being basic anyway, just enjoy yourself.

I'm glad you like my choice of clouds. I think they're neat too.

Thanks for appreciating the little things about me, anon, I wouldn't be the same without them :D

[alcholiccaprisun]

Okay so obviously papyrus is autistic. But i wanted to give specific examples of why <3

firstly all of his messages are in caps lock, which could be a typing quirk but i like to assume it’s because he’s always yelling, something that a-lot of autistic people have issues with, is controlling there volume

he loves puzzles and i assume there his special interest, because not only do we see him using them as traps but it’s also a reward as we see when you kill everyone but leave papyrus, he uses the puzzles for punishments and rewards because he just likes puzzles

we also see him stomp his feet while upset, something that i like to assume is stimming

he also has problems making friends, and is the only reason he wants in the royal guard, something that again a lot of autistic people have difficulty with

he also takes what people say at face value, even with flowey, not seeing the true nature underneath, which is can also lead into him not understanding tone

he also isn’t afraid to speak his mind, not caring if he comes of “rude” to even the queen

he also adds in his nyehs and sighs in writing and saying sigh out loud kinda like a tone tag

while you play the dating portion he follows a rule book, kinda similar to how autistic people will learn about something because it dosent come natural (ex. i used to train myself how to smile)

he also has face blindness where he can’t tell asgore and toriel apart

some other things: constantly wearing the same clothes because there comforting, sticking to strict rules he set for himself and getting upset when it dosent go as planned, making the same food over and over, and not understand some of sans puns(resulting in him not liking when he makes them, even though he will aswell) and probably more i’m not thinking of lol

Anyways, he is one of my favorite characters and i hope he wins <33 thank you for reading and lemme know if i missed anything

[lune-yaks]

♡︎Neurodiversity headcannons♡︎ : Yakko

This is my take on what's going on in these silly children's cartoony brain. But no way in hell are they neurotypical. I'll start off with Yakko, but I will do the other siblings in other parts. Including Wizz my own OC.

~♡°•○●☆°•○●♡°•○●☆°•○●♡°•○●☆°•○●♡°•○●☆~

Yakko has autism and ADHD. Since his symtoms for both are different, they sometimes trigger each other and that can get complicated.

SELF PROJECTING YAY

His stims :

His constant yakking is a major consequence of his ADHD, and also a stim for him, as his stims are mainly vocal.

He will stim by repeating phrases or words, he can blurt it out randomly, or do it to self-regulate, when he's anxious. The phrases or words he will repeat and use to vocal stim will mostly come from a situation he finds funny, that he heard from his siblings or a random Youtube video. The phrase or word doesn't have to be funny in its content, it can just be the way it was said that he finds funny. He just likes the way it sounds sometimes and the actual word or content of the phrase doesn't really matter.

He also just uses his own catchphrases to vocal stim, "Helloooo Nurse !", "G'night everybody !", and such.

He also stims by whistling and humming.

But he also have some physical stims. He will flap his hands, wag his tail, kick his feet and bounce on his feet or tail when he's exited.

He stomps/taps his foot when he's getting frustrated or nervous.

Randomly, he stims by swaying his legs when he's sitting or laying on his stomach, he sways his tail, he blinks repetitively, he twitches his nose (like a rabbit), and walks on his tiptoe.

His sensory issues :

Yakko has several sensory issues, more or less severe. For starters, he hates when someone pets him (especially his head) without his permission. The only ones who get to do it without permission are his loved ones.

He doesn't like headpats, and will get extremely disturbed if someone pulls on his ears or tail. Pulling on his tail can be okay when it's done softly (like when they use their tail to play skipping rope), but pulling on his ears, even softly, is a major no.

Noise can sometimes be overwhelming for him. He doesn't mind it when it's loud noises from him and his siblings like when they cause chaos. The kind of noise that overwhelms him is the background noise with different noises coming from everywhere around him. Like in a public space and he can suddenly hear everything, 100 times louder. The phones ringing. The different conversations. The babies crying. The sound of the cars. Cultery clinking together. All of that.

Ironically enough, silence can also be very overwhelming. Like complete silence. He can't sleep in complete silence because it will give him the impression that his thoughts are too loud. So he always sleeps with light music, or the sound he likes best is when he goes to sleep early and he can hear his siblings just doing their things in the tower. It's perfect. Not too silent and not too loud. It reassures him.

Dark is also a big sensory issue. Not only he is scared of the dark but it makes him anxious. He needs to constantly be able to see. Or he loses it. He also can't sleep in the complete dark and will need a source of light somehow.

His skin being dry can make him wants to scream and cry sometimes. There's moments when he will randomly need to go wet his hands under his gloves or his feet or even his face because the dryness is too much.

Sometimes, he won't like the feeling of walking on his whole feet. It will get to a point where the feeling and sensory issue will hurt. So he will somtimes walk on the tip of his toes. Related to that, he hates shoes. They're his enemies.

Same reason he doesn't wear a shirt or any top and only wears some rarely is because he hates it. Simply. Shirts, coats = big sensory issue.

He doesn't like when food or drinks are too hot. He can enever eat or drink anything that just finished being cooked or brewed. He has to wait for it to be at a perfect temperature.

He has a general issue with temperature. He hates being too hot or cold. Wich is part of the reason he also wears pants and no tops, aside from the fact that shirts are a sensory issue, just pants and no tops create a perfect temperature for him.

He's not a fan of bright lights. He prefers when the light is dimmed.

Random ways his autism/ADHD will manifest :

He sometimes stands with the "T-rex arms".

He just zones out sometimes. He doesn't mean to and it doesn't mean he's not interested in what's going on, he will just zone out and end up in some sort of trance, especially when he listens to music.

He has trouble controlling the volume of his voice. Sometimes when he talks, someone will point out to him that he's talking too loud, and he won't even notice.

He gets "the zoomies", and will randomly need to bounce or run around for no reason. He also has trouble sitting/standing still.

Sometimes when it's been too long since he's been quiet, he will need to use his voice and will blurt sometimes out, sometimes just make sounds, for no apparent reason.

He obviously has troubles picking up on social cues. He doesn't always get the hints, so if someone expects something out of him they need to be specific and clear about it because he has troubles reading people.

Sometimes he can be brutally honest, even when he doesn't intend to bash or be mean. He will just say what he thinks and will not always get why some people take what he said as rude while he was just being honest with no intent of hurting anyone. This doesn't mean he doesn't get sarcasm, at the contrary we all know he's the king od sarcasm. It's just sometimes when he's not in a sarcastic or playful mood, he will not pick up on everything. He's extremely good at sarcasm when he wants to be.

And him too, sometimes, can take things the wrong way without taking the time to properly analyse it, but it happens rarely. When it happens it's very often when someone says something that will hurt or offend him and he just gets upset immediatly, and the other person has to explainthe misunderstanding and explain to him this wasn't what they meant. Yakko will feel embarrassed and will quickly apologize when this happens.

He doesn't get meltdowns often but when he does...it's violent, and can last from one up to two hours.

Even though his incredible wit will make him come up with those amazing comebacks of his no matter the situation, he often gets forgetful at the last minute and needs a moment to remember what he was going to say, hence his "uuuuuuuuuhh".

He is forgetful in general, and feels guilty about it especially when he forgets something that has something to do with his siblings.

When he happy stims, he giggles non stop.

His hyperfixation/special interests :

Geography, history and astronomy ! He never gets tired of yakking about those three subjects.

His comfort items :

His slacks. They are his favorite and really comforting for him.

He has several basic stims toys but his favorites are puzzles stim toys like Rubik's cubes and things like that. His most regular stims toys like bubbles-popping toys or stress balls are all in purple because it's his favorite color and it's also part of the comfort. He feels better if the things he uses are in his comfort color.

~♡°•○●☆°•○●♡°•○●☆°•○●♡°•○●☆°•○●♡°•○●☆~

This is all for now, I spent hours writing this :)

[remorsefullyunapologetic]

clears my throat so aggressively i start choking

Autistic Mercury Black Headcanons!

he learned to mask a lot of his autistic traits for obvious reasons, and a lot of the ones he still shows are usually just so minor marcus didn’t give a fuck or he can meld it well enough into his being traumatized an assassin

he trained himself to be able to read expressions and thinks he’s good at it but is very prone to missing nuances or mixing up their meanings

he has baaad anger issues. granted it’s genetic from marcus and also the trauma but the autism doesn’t make it any better. he’s very good (too good) at keeping a lid on it until he’s on the verge of exploding and he does something incredibly drastic or stupid

he doesn’t really understand love. it’s partially the trauma but he doesn’t know how to distinctualize his own feelings and can’t recognize when he’s experiencing attraction. like. he feels both love and attraction but it’s so abstract compared to his other emotions that he just doesn’t Get it, including for platonic attraction

he doesn’t like people touching him. yet another thing attributed in part to trauma but for this one it’s mostly the autism

special interest in mechanics and engineering but he never ever ever infodumps because Trauma

understands animals more than people. not necessarily in the way that he feels more like an animal, it’s just easier for him to understand the nature of things that aren’t as awful and complicated as humans. he prefers being around them as opposed to people too

auditory processing issues. he used to ask people to repeat themselves a lot but now does it only when it’s a vitally important topic because once again. trauma

he’s the autistic that is filled to the brim with sarcasm but cannot recognize it for the life of him

he usually doesn’t let it show but major changes can be a Lot for him. he generally needs some downtime when switching to a new location before he can do anything without getting overwhelmed

he always always always has to do maintenance on his prosthetics before he goes to bed and after he wakes up Or Else (routine autism)

if something upsets him it can be difficult for him to come up with a solution In The Moment because his emotions cloud his thinking capabilities even in situations that wouldn’t be classified as a “big deal”

small talk confuses him. coughs. the neurotypical “how are you.” (if you’re gonna ask him how he’s doing why shouldn’t he be at least a Little honest??????????)

he understands idioms, hyperboles, etc. but any metaphor that can be reasonably taken seriously soars right over his head

the resting bitch face isn’t just because of his personality it’s because control over his own body language is foreign as fuck to him and his only visual settings are default (unreadable with an undertone of murder), pissed off, smug, and little bitch type charming. once upon a time there was fear and pure joy but those are buried now

i havw,more probably but memory bad. please talk to me if you have any of your own. Please

WARNING: Headcanons involving child abuse, ableism towards autistics, disordered eating, and self-destructive behavior under the cut.

he stimmed a lot more when he was younger—he flapped his hands and stomped his feet, but if marcus caught him doing it he’d hit his wrists, kicked his shins, and at times would bind his hands and/or legs. by the time he was ten he’d learned to suppress them even if it left him with a lot of pent up energy

the stims he has left over are mostly self-destructive. he hits himself in the head when frustrated or overwhelmed and scratches when he doesn’t have enough to do with his hands or he’s uncomfortable/stressed/anxious

marcus didn’t want him to do that either but couldn’t get him to stop and he didn’t care as much anyways because at least it wasn’t an expression of positive emotions

he used to have meltdowns during “training.” marcus would lock him in his room and refuse to let him out even for food until hours after he’d calmed down. another thing he learned to suppress to a point where his body no longer allows him to shed tears even when he really needs to unless under certain circumstances

marcus forced him to eat whatever he was given, even though he had awful sensory issues, on top of starving him as punishment, so he now has a very unhealthy relationship with food. getting him to try new things is like a death sentence and he’ll hardly ever eat something he doesn’t like unless it’s life or death, but he also feels extremely guilty eating his comfort foods.

[the-matpat-ever]

Random things about me

I'm self-diagnosed with autism[I can't get properly diagnosed]

I mainly stim by violently rocking back and forth and squeaking, flapping my hands and stomping my feet

I love talking about my special interests, Scream & horror movies

I'm Polyamorous and I have a boyfriend that lives in England:D

I hate drinking the last bit of my drink that's at the bottom of the cup, unless it's water. It makes me gag

I cosplay!!

I love reading and writing dark horror romance<3

I'm a Randy Meeks fictionkin!!

My favorite Scream Ships are Mickey x Randy, Randy x Mickey x Roman, Stuilly, and Tatney:>

I'm also attracted to older men because Daddy issues🤭 Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich are amazing😊

[fallouttboy]

having 2ourdust feelings. what is this blog if not my livejournal.

i still have nashville coming but going to austin for fob is one of the greatest, most emotional moments of my life. i had never been to texas, save for a moment when i was a kid, but that doesn’t count because i only remember what my mother has told me.

it all started kind of funny. one of my best friends lives in texas and we met through here, i went to his blog and quite literally slid into his dms and our relationship bloomed from there. i realized when i talked to him that i really have been missing the feeling of having a best friend, the love and affection and trust that comes with it. the countless nights we stayed up too late and the days where i sent him voice memos of me sobbing and he’d send his own crises back. it wasn’t bad. it was really, unbelievably amazing to have a relationship like that.

we bonded over fob immediately. so when they announced 2ourdust, obviously we both jumped on the closest city to us. i cracked a “haha what if i also come to austin” and that (obviously) stopped being slash j and i wound up staying a few nights at his apartment.

and he would’ve been enough. getting to go to texas would’ve been good enough. great, amazing even. but then i met my partner through him, and she wound up coming too.

i’ve never been to a concert with friends before. i’m reclusive and weird about truly letting myself go in front of people. it scares me. me and my partner snuck up to row three and i can’t dwell on it or i will cry. it doesn’t feel real. none of this feels fucking real. it feels like i’m dreaming and ill wake up and it’ll be back before i started talking to my friend. i’ll wake up in some chicago hotel after the tourdust show and ill have to go back home to the things i have gotten through and left in the past. it’ll be like time never passed at all, that everything i have lived from june 22 until now has all been fake.

being held around the hip by my partner. sharing looks of excitement and bewilderment and shock at the setlist. her holding me as i swayed.

i was so scared of being judged and left by my friends that i forgot it doesn’t fucking matter. concerts are stimming for me; the bass, the ability to jump and scream and flap my hands and stomp my feet. it’s all things i hide, used to doing in my own time, never in front of people. certainly not people who are important to me.

i’ve never been that close to a stage in an arena setting. i’m used to nosebleeds. seeing the arm hairs on them, the details and shading and age of jack skellington on pete’s arm, andy pinching his cymbal during crazy train. the singer from jimmy eat world shaking his head like a dog and seeing the sweat fling around.

to me, music is religion. it is spiritual. concerts are worshipping; worship of the band, yes, but also that sort of terrifying beautiful moment i can never tell the reality of. the moment in (christian) services where someone is so overcome with their love for god that they drop to their knees and weep, arms in the air, pumping and waving like god will come reach down and touch their hands. not too dissimilar to how pete holds with the crowd during saturday.

[erigold13261]

how does everyone in nsr stim

Ooooh, been a bit since I thought about something like this! I don't think I have an answer for everyone, but I'll do my best! I'll just put their main stim, but they most likely do more than one type!

Mayday: Definitely waves her hands around, uses her hands to talk, just does anything to keep her hands moving. When her hands are still for too long she feels cramped and kinda like itchy or uncomfortable. Even just drumming her hands like Zuke does helps her when she can't wave her hands around.

Zuke: Mainly does repetitive things like clapping and drumming his fingers. Will also bounce his leg at times but his back might end up hurting if he does that too much so he usually stays with using his hands.

DJSS: As a kid I can see him making his arms go spaghetti mode and twirling around or jumping up and down, but as they grew older I see him more as biting onto things. Mostly cold things, like ice cream or just straight up ice, but also things like pens, pencils, and probably other stuff that should never be in someone's mouth, but since he isn't fully human, they don't have to fully worry about the dangers.

Sayu: As a robot/mermaid, ze will just swim around in circles and loops or twirl mer trident around like a baton or even hit digital rocks with it. As a android/human, depending on if ze can walk with a cane or needs a wheelchair that day, ze will wiggle mer cane around when standing still or sitting, or will tap mer fingers on mer chair or roll back and forth or spin a little in mer chair.

Remi: Doodler. He will draw on himself if he has to. As long as he has some kind of way to draw or create, he will use that as a stim. Very much loves to create patterns so when he and Eve hang out, sometimes she will let him draw henna art on her extra arms.

Tila: Most of her stims would be vocal, like singing or making random noises. Her and Dodo will whistle together sometimes. Also she hums a lot to herself. Repeating songs is a very common thing for her along with making up songs as she is doing stuff.

Sofa: They definitely have a whole stim board that lights up and makes sounds. It absolutely has the most clicky sounding buttons and knobs that they can play with. They bit it themselves and made sure it was super durable so they could throw it a round and then go back to pressing all the buttons and knobs and stuff. When they don't have the board though, they click their pen or take apart their pen a lot.

Dodo: He's a whistler. Whistling and tapping his feet. He gets a lot of his energy out using sign language or practicing dance moves with/for Sayu, so he only really whistles or taps his feet when he needs to stim.

Yinu: I feel like she would pull out her flowers and pick the petals off. If she does it right then there is no pain like pulling out hair, and she will just regrow the flowers back in like a week. Though Mama tries to get her to do other stims so Yinu will also make paper stars or other little origami things that are easy to make while listening in on a meeting or whatever.

Mama: I don't feel like she would stim all that much, but I can see her running her hand down her hair/head tail thing when she might be nervous, though she doesn't get nervous all that much. She seems like a person who bottles things up and doesn't try to let her feelings out ever since Papa passed.

Neon J: Before becoming a cyborg he would crack his knuckles and joints along with pulling out his hair (or when it was very long he would bit his hair and try to like cut it with his teeth but also suck on it). After he became a cyborg he just worked on all kinds of machinery to fidget with. Also keeps those fidget car gear shift with him when out so he can play with in his pocket.

Rin: I feel like it would be someone who randomly flings its arms for a moment and then stop. Like sudden bursts of energy that happen and cause Rin to hit one of its fist into its palm or would stomp one of its feet for a like 3 very loud stomps and then stop. When out in public it probably clasps its hands together and then squeezes its hands very tightly to try and not stomp or fling its arms out and possibly hit someone.

Purl-Hew: Makes weird noises and growls. Will also hit things, like their own head at times, though they only do their more violent stims when alone so others don't judge them. Mainly will make more animalistic sounds along with biting things, mainly writing utensils (has broken a pen in their mouth before)

Zimelu: She walks on her tiptoes around the house and will play with her hair when it's down. Just fidgets a lot. Will sometimes steal Neon J's fidget toys and play with them so her hands are moving. Will destroy pens by taking them apart and then straightening the spring.

Haym: If he can he will just cook, especially things like bread that needs kneading or something that needs to be stirred for a long time. If he can't cook then he will instead play with his own hair making braids.

Eloni: Plays with her hair mainly. But he also plays a lot of games, both keyboard and controller, so those are great stims being able to press buttons a lot.

Eve: Use to be a big nail biter, especially when she was a teen, but tries not to do that because she wants her nails to look good. Changed to playing with her hair but once she started styling it into her outfits she had to give that up as well. Now she will make extra limbs and either rub her arms or will fidget with her finger/bracelets while working with her main arms.

Tatiana: Use to strum her fingers as if she is playing an air guitar, but stopped after becoming the CEO of NSR and now will click her tongue with her mouth closed repeatedly.

Kliff: I see him as a chewer. Biting styluses or chewing gum. Probably also likes to rub different textures which is why he seems to where a bunch of different textured clothes and accessories. Also fidgets with the ends of his scarf, hair, or beard a lot.

DK West: Like Zuke he prefers more rhythmic stims, but he will definitely clap a lot. Sometimes he will just continuously clap for a solid few minutes very loudly until he feels better.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

random dead poets society things from the fourth viewing by someone who’s been obsessed with this movie for seven months:

- “mr. keating’s spotify would be so boring it’s just ALL THE SAME SONG.” - my friends and i talking about keating and his obsession with the 1812 overture

- i just realized that when neil’s shirtless in the locker room he has a bunch of freckles on his shoulders which first of all,, 🥺🥺🥺,,, but also,, now i have a neil and cam freckle buddies agenda

- mr. dalton you are so bisexual it astounds me

- charlie’s projecting with the “to feel tall” reply i don’t make the rules

- there’s two scenes that i interpret as characters stimming and they make me so unreasonably joyful (the first one is charlie’s little jump at the end of the “then i saw the congo” scene and the second is neil smiling and stomping his feet a bunch after getting cast as puck)

- chameron being on the rowing team together <3 but also why is cam wearing a sweater while rowing that seems dumb,,

- this has been said time and time again but: neil fucking perry invented ‘no ❤️’ and i love him so goddamn much for it

- the scene where neil is telling everyone he got puck makes me absolutely feral,,,, the happy neil,, the supportive friends,,, the charlie and cameron in pajamas in their room together,,,, the anderperry,,,,,, it’s too much :,)

- charlie’s “TO INDEED BE A GOD” is my favorite thing ever,, he truly is one of the most Characters.

- god chameron is just. they are so. yeah. i love them. they are my everything.

- screaming and wailing and gnashing my teeth the sweaty-toothed madman scene makes me go insane

- but god do i wanna hear neil, cam, and charlie’s poems……… that’s what fanfiction is for

- forever and always thinking about the Neil Perry In Love face

- never in my entire life am i getting over the “poetrusic” scene,,, it’s just so good and i love charlie so much,,,,,, the energy of the bad saxophone with the good poetry and the franticness of the poem matching the sound and then the abrupt change to the smooth and beautiful music.. it’s so amazing <3

- i go a little bit insane when cameron, neil, charlie, or todd smile/laugh….. these boys just deserve everything and i would give anything for them to be happy 🥺🥺

- somehow i’d forgotten about the desk set scene and now i’m. :,). they are boyfriends your honor.

- charlie dalton is so important to me,,,, i know he’s objectively an asshole when he brings the girls to the cave but the way he chooses to resolve it.. with the phone call and everything that follows……… i have so many emotions about it and him,,, that’s my comfort white boy

- i think there’s a point where keating calls charlie ‘ace’?? and if i’m correct than that’s the cutest shit i’ve ever heard 🥺

- everytime i watch this movie i get a little concerned by how much i project onto neil,, as a sad gay theatre kid whose parents are more concerned about my academics than my acting opportunities…… it hits a little too close to home,,,

- even though i’ve watched this three times before, i managed to block the ending from my mind as i was watching until like,, the start of the play and then i just started panicking like ‘oh FUCK oh SHIT here’s where shit’s about to go down’

- i am constantly being destroyed by the neil and charlie friendship,, watching charlie be so excited to see neil in the play that he stands up upon seeing him hurts so goddamn bad when you know what’s coming… not to mention the “he’s good. he’s really good.”/“i was good. i was really good.” parallel because.. jesus fucking christ i can’t handle that!!!!!!!!!

- neil’s so happy right before he leaves with his dad… i hate knowing what that post-show high feels like, it makes it so much worse to see everything come crashing down around him

- i am forever thinking about how the music that plays as they go to their first dps meeting is the same music that plays during neil’s suicide. absolutely awful parallel, i hate it here.

- the amount of Thoughts i have on cameron not being there when todd finds out about neil’s death/not being in the snow with them all afterwards is…… Astronomical.

- charlie not singing at neil’s funeral is something that can be so personal.

- fucking hell the end of this movie is bad enough without shipping chameron, i do not need all this additional pain holy shit

- i really. Can Not Handle the fact that the last time we see charlie is when he punches cameron.

so yeah. agony, suffering, absolutely devasting, i love it so much, they make me so fucking happy.

[simping-on-the-daily]

Anyways Ultra Magnus is autistic he is because I said so now have my headcanons

I earnestly believe Ultra Magnus is himself due to three things

1. He was forged for fighting, and that's all he's ever known

2. War trauma

3. He's on the spectrum

And he's on it because I said so

Eye contact galore. He initiates a lot of it and he'll be very '????' if you look away

I feel like his superiors were dickweeds and were like 'no stimming'

So he's really really good at hiding his stims

But when the team loosens him up, he's deffo the guy who leg bounces and stomps his feet

He was in the same room as Smokescreen and Smokescreen believed the leg stomping was because UM is mad

And he's like '???? No??? You did a good job why would I be mad???'

Just leg stims his stims usually involve his legs alright

TONE PROBLEMS

THIS KID HAS TONE PROBLEMS

Also volume

He forever has the 'no bullshit' face and the 'no bullshit' voice

Idk who did them but there was this big thing when UM really like these kawaii things and became a father to them???

So that makes me think he likes plushies and soft stuff

Corrupt Cybertronians were dicks so he never knew how much he loved them until Miko gave him a cute stuffie

It's his best friend

Also, PILLOW HUGGER

Soft things are his comfort toys alright

Give him one and he'll say something like 'Thanks, soldier.'

Everyone knows though that on the inside he's like

Those octopus toys where you flip one in and each side has a mad and happy expression? He has that

He'll just. Flip it inside out, you know? He's not mad but he messed with it and left it on mad

UM is also a hummer don't fight me

Miko has heard him hum 'Let It Go while he was working on paperwork

Please use tone indicators for this dude,,,,, like please

His sarcasm detector is nonexistent and it saves him so much time and energy if you just put a /lh

Even though he'll be like 'why would you joke about that???'

He sometimes forgets to use them though sometimes but he tries <3

And I feel like Ultra Magnus watches videos of the Chocolate Guy. You know him everyone on Tumblr knows him.

He doesn't actively search out the Chocolate Guy but when he does find a video of the Chocolate Guy, good luck getting him to pay attention to anything else unless it's about the war but even then he'll be a bit rude because how dare you interrupt the Chocolate Guy

[littletealseal]

💕🐉Agere HeadCanons for Pitaya Dragon Cookie🐉💕

🐉 : Pitaya is very private about his regression with others, especially with the other dragons due to his rocky relationship with them (could change later depending on when the other two release).

🐉 : Pitaya actually learned about age regression through White Lily after Hollyberry was looking for a way to sooth the big dragon. She agreed to look after Pitaya when regressed due to knowing him pretty well from their previous encounters.

🐉 : When regressed, Pitaya is incredibly silly and playful, almost resembling a golden retriever puppy! He loves to run around on all fours and explore, his favorite toys to play with being blocks, puzzle boxes, his stuffies and toys that make a lot of sounds!

🐉 : Pitaya loves to play with his other agere friends, especially Adventurer and Tiger Lily Cookie, since he can rough house with them a bit more than other smol cookies and they can keep up with his energy.

🐉 : Pitaya does know when to pull back though with more fragile regressors thanks to White Lily back in the day such as with Beet Cookie, he mainly plays with toys and cuddles with her. Due to her being on the more sensitive side when smol, Pitaya is very protective of Beet when she is regressed, even if he is too!

🐉 : Pitaya loves to finger paint and if not supervised and given big enough of a canvas to work on, he’ll find more “canvas” to work with! Aka walls and floors.

🐉 : Despite appearing very independent when regressed, Pitaya actually will become incredibly stressed out if his CG isn’t nearby or he doesn’t know where they are, resulting in Pitaya loudly crying until he isn’t alone anymore.

🐉 : Pitaya cries a lot as a way to communicate since he is mainly non verbal while regressed. Sometimes he just cries in order to get the attention of  Hollyberry for snuggles and hugs.

🐉 : Pitaya prefers using bottles to drink anything out of when regressed, and loves simple foods like porridge’s and soups, as well as crackers and candy.

🐉 : Regressed Pitaya loves to chew on anything and everything, if it’s not baby dragon proofed then prepare to have teeth marks everywhere.

🐉 : Pitaya likes to just wear a t-shirt for the most part since clothing makes him uncomfortable when regressed, but he loves wearing onesies for some reason. He has a fluffy blue hooded onesie and one that’s a dragon with a tail and everything! Hollyberry can’t wrap her head around that one.

🐉 : Pitaya always will fall right to sleep when someone sings him a lullaby, or plays very soothing music, regardless if he’s regressed or not.

🐉 : Pitaya stims ALOT when regressed since then he feels safe enough to express himself openly without harassment or scorn. He loves extending his wings, wagging his tail, and either stomping/kicking his feet when he’s really happy, excited giggling and/or squealing is usually mixed in with any/all these actions. 💚

🐉 : Regressed Pitaya usually holds his favorite stuffy, or his tail close when frightened/worried, and tends to hide in his nursery until he feels better or is coaxed our by Holly or a close friend with reassuring words of comfort.

-------------

All the headcanons I got for regressor Pitaya at this point in time :3 I might add more in the future but I’m happy with what I got down ^^

Thinking on it I’m probably also gonna redo my DE hc list since the art in that one was done BEFORE I learned about stabilizing my brush in Clip Studio Paint, aaaand I feel I can tinker on how some hcs are written since I feel I got a better grasp on how to explain and present everything. Idk when that will be but I do hope soon c:

[zosonils-art]

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Relationship: Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn

Characters: Ferb Fletcher, Phineas Flynn, Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Linda Flynn-Fletcher

Additional Tags: Autistic Ferb, Autistic Phineas, autistic phineas is more implied and could also be taken as adhd but he has both anyway so, Autistic Meltdown, Autism, Sensory Overload, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Illustrations, Canon Continuation, Fix-It of Sorts, i think????? i don't frequent this goddamn website i don't know, Brotherly Love, Crying, some of the crying is me

Summary: A stressful day pushes Ferb past his breaking point, and Phineas feels that he has a responsibility to set things right. Takes place immediately after Ready For The Bettys. Was supposed to be a simple continuation fic but got wildly out of hand. Ph*n*rb shippers fuck off this isn't for you.

---

as you’ve probably figured out if you’re following my main, i recently wrote my first fic since i was about 13! it’s available on ao3 at the link above, but you can also read it on tumblr by clicking the readmore on this post! i put a lot of effort into this and it took a lot of courage to post, so feedback is greatly appreciated!

"Mom! Guess what Ferb did!"

Phineas bursts into the kitchen energetically, still buzzing with adrenaline from the day's adventure. Ferb follows a step or two behind. Linda turns her attention from the freshly baked pie in her hands to her sons, although Phineas is too beside himself with excitement to consider whether or not she's paying attention. "He made a secret tunnel, and a spy headquarters, and a villain's lair, and a hover jet shaped like Perry- tell her, Ferb!"

Ferb doesn't match Phineas' enthusiasm. In fact, at the moment, he's sick to death of it. He prepares to launch into the explanation he's been trying all day to give. "Actually, I-"

"Wait a second," Linda interrupts, eyeing the boys with suspicion. "Why are you two soaking wet?"

The interruption is just too much for Ferb. He doesn't even process the question, just lets out a harsh shout of frustration. Phineas recoils - Ferb almost never shouts. "I give UP!" Ferb yells, his voice shaking on the last syllable, and before either of his surprised family members can respond, he turns around and storms off, his destination betrayed by the distinct clunking rhythm of stairs being stomped on too hard and the sound of a door slamming upstairs.

For a moment, the kitchen is silent. Linda recovers before Phineas does, her eyes narrowing in disapproval. "Young man, that is not how we talk to each other in this house!" she calls, setting the pie tin and her oven mitts down on the kitchen counter and following Ferb's path to his room. Before she can make it to the doorway, though, her progress is halted.

"Mom, wait!" Phineas pleads. He's finally caught onto what's been going on all day, and although he's still only half processed it, he knows he doesn't want Ferb to be in trouble for it. He frantically tugs on Linda's arm to draw her attention. Once he's sure that she's stopped, he withdraws his hand (he's still wet, after all, he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable), but sidesteps around her to put his tiny body firmly between her and the doorway to the living room. "Mom, please don't be mad at Ferb, it- it's not his fault! I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, he's just..." Phineas' voice trails off briefly, but he forces it back into action, complete with the most serious expression he can manage. "If you're gonna be mad at either of us, it should be me, okay?"

At first, Linda returns Phineas' gaze with suspicion, then her face softens with realisation. She crouches down to her son's eye level, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Phineas, did something else happen today?" she asks, the anger gone from her voice.

Phineas hesitates, dropping eye contact again. He's almost certain about the cause of Ferb's outburst, and he can't help but mentally beat himself up for it to a degree. "Well, Ferb's been trying to tell me something all day, but he kept getting interrupted by our spy mission, and I guess it must have been really frustrating because he hates being interrupted but I didn't realise and-" he pauses to breathe, and shudders as he inhales as if on the verge of tears - "and I should have asked at some point but I just kept getting distracted and I didn't even realise how upset it was making him but-"

"Phineas," Linda says gently, and he gladly accepts the invitation to cut his rambling short. His breathing is shaky, but he doesn't cry just yet, even though his emotional state has nosedived in barely a minute. After giving him a moment to snap back into focus, Linda continues. "Phineas, honey, it sounds like this has just been a misunderstanding. On my end, too," she adds, regretting having snapped at Ferb earlier. Phineas nods with a nondescript mumble of agreement. Although he still obviously isn't looking, Linda gives him a reassuring smile anyway, accompanied by a gentle squeeze of his shoulder. "Thank you for telling the truth, sweetheart," she praises him.

"Mmh," Phineas mumbles, tugging at his shirt collar. He tends to fiddle with his shirt when he's nervous or overexcited. It doesn't hold a candle to bouncing his leg or flapping his hands, as far as stimming goes, but it's a lot easier to do while someone is touching you. "I just should've realised what was up earlier, then he probably wouldn't have freaked out..."

He finally glances up again, and the look his mom is giving him tells him that he should drop the argument, so he stops. Linda ruffles his hair affectionately, leaning forward to reach all the way behind Phineas' oddly-shaped head, and flinches at the unpleasant reminder of how waterlogged he still is. She stands up, flicking her hand dry. "I'm sure he knows you didn't mean to hurt his feelings," she reassures Phineas. "Why don't you dry yourself off and then go talk to him? Which reminds me," Linda motions towards the puddles tracked all over the kitchen floor, "why are you two so wet?"

"Oh, we fell in Isabella's pool," Phineas answers matter-of-factly. He isn't quite back to his usual blindingly sunny disposition, but the panicky tremble in his voice has at least disappeared.

Linda smiles, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Well, that I believe," she says. She'd tactfully decided not to comment on whatever that secret spy headquarters spiel was that Phineas had been getting worked up over, but she suspects his latest imaginary game took the boys to Isabella's backyard and ended up having some real-life consequences. "Oh, hi, Perry," she adds, as the platypus in question waddles into the kitchen.

Perry responds with his familiar chatter. Phineas leans down to pet Perry on the head. "At least you've had a stress-free day, huh," he says, then leaves for the bathroom. Perry stares at him blankly.

---

Ferb is having a meltdown.

He knows what this is, of course. He reads every textbook and blog post on the subject he can find, just in case it helps him make some more sense of himself. If he misses one, Phineas will no doubt have found and memorised it himself for the same reason, and will gladly rattle off anything new. Knowing why there's a raging storm beating at the inside of his head, however, is entirely different from quelling it. By the time he reaches his bedroom, he's trembling so violently that he can barely stand. He stumbles to his bed, pushing his hands down into the mattress to keep himself on his feet.

It's like feeling every feeling from every second of the day all in the same moment, and it hurts. So much is happening in his head that he can't even isolate a single thought, let alone process what it means. Is he angry? That'd make sense, sure, but his mental state isn't exactly conducive to deductive reasoning at the moment. Is he sad? Scared? Something else entirely?? He can't tell what emotion or mixture thereof it is, only that it's hurting his head, and he wants to get it out but he doesn't know how. He's struggling to breathe now, his arms shaking with the effort of keeping his body supported, and as he draws in a desperate shuddering breath Ferb feels something wet in his eye and then on his face, and he remembers that his entire body is wet and he hates it. It's cold, and his hair is sticking to his face and uncomfortably close to his eyes, and his clothes cling to his body oppressively and he wants to tear them off and stop feeling everything. Instead of doing that, he forces himself to breathe in again and looks around the room frantically, hoping to find something other than absolutely everything to concentrate on.

His eyes land on Phineas' bed, and although his vision is blurring as the panicky tears pour down his face, he recognises the shape instantly. Is he mad at Phineas? Should he be? He should be, right? If Phineas had just stopped to listen to him for once, he wouldn't be here with the world ending inside his brain. Another violent wave of emotion sends a shock through his whole body, and Ferb is still in no state to identify it, but he gets the message. He doesn't want to be angry. Not at Phineas. In fact, he doesn't want to feel anything he's feeling at the moment. Not the turbulent assault of everything inside his head, not the hammering rhythm of his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest, not every tiny thing that touches his skin or the light from outside that still feels blinding through the curtains or the muffled sounds of conversation downstairs that he doesn't have room in his brain to translate into anything but more noise.

Sensory overload is another term Ferb knows, and it's another one that doesn't really help to know in the moment. The feeling of anxiety that's been growing in his chest since that morning finally becomes too much for his body to handle, and he collapses on his bed, weakly gripping the blanket for support. Burying his face in his covers blocks out most of the sunlight, at least, but it doesn't significantly improve his mood. He shivers, partly from cold thanks to still being uncomfortably wet, partly from the sobs making his whole body convulse. (When did those start? He doesn't remember.) He uses the last of his physical strength to pull himself fully onto his bed and curl into himself, trying desperately to calm himself down.

...

It's not working. Why isn't it working?? It's as if every effort to steady his breathing just makes him cry harder, every attempt at a calming thought being shattered into a thousand anxious ones by the merciless torrent of everything whirling around in his mind. Ferb is suddenly hyper-aware of how empty the room around him is, and it makes him feel helpless. It's the first feeling he's managed to connect a name to with absolute certainty this whole time, and it's terrifying.

If he was making any noise before in his attempts to control his breathing, he's stopped now. No sound escapes him as he lies in place, too preoccupied with the overwhelming barrage of thoughts in his brain to move. More than anything, Ferb wants his brain to just shut off. Everything in his mind blends into a horrible white noise that won't stop, threatening to drown him in static.

Through the raging mental cyclone, he just barely hears the knock at the door.

Phineas waits a moment before entering his room. He wants to make sure Ferb has time to process that he's here. A few seconds pass, then he opens the door slowly so that it doesn't make any sound. A stab of guilt hits him when he sees Ferb curled up on his bed, visibly distressed. He's facing the opposite wall, but the way he shudders as he breathes makes it obvious that he's crying. Phineas feels his heart sink. He'd really hoped it wouldn't be this bad.

"Hey," he says softly. Ferb grips himself tighter. Just a minute ago, Phineas would have been the last person he wanted to see, but now his desperation for comfort outweighs any lingering hints of animosity. He doesn't object to his brother's presence, so Phineas gently closes the door and walks over to his side of the room. He sits on the bed, watching Ferb to see if he reacts negatively to the shift in weight distribution, and tenses up slightly at how damp the blanket is. Of course, Ferb wouldn't have stopped to dry off on his way up here. A closer look confirms that while a lot of the water on his body has run off and soaked into his bed, Ferb is still almost as wet as he was when he arrived home. Phineas frowns - that can't be comfortable, and it's probably making him feel even worse. "Are you okay?" he asks.

Ferb curls into himself even more instead of asking. The question is so frustratingly rhetorical that he almost reconsiders the possibility of being angry, but the idea still scares him, so the feeling passes. Fortunately, Phineas understands the unspoken 'obviously not' with no further input, and continues to talk. "I'm really sorry about today," he begins. "I know you don't like being interrupted, and I should've realised that it was making you feel bad but I just wasn't paying enough attention and- and I'm sorry, because it's kinda my fault you got so upset," he apologises, not realising that he's holding back tears until he stops to breathe. He wills himself not to cry. He's here to try and make Ferb feel better, not guilt him into forgiveness.

It takes a second or two for Ferb to process what Phineas is saying. It's a struggle to drag the words through the confusing whirlwind of everything still rampaging through his head. Eventually, after a great deal of mental effort, he shakes his head in response. Perhaps he was angry before, he still can't tell, but he definitely isn't now. He can't manage anything beyond the simple gesture, but it's not the first time he's been utterly uncommunicative, so Phineas understands the meaning as well as he needs to: it's not your fault.

"Th-thanks," he stutters, although Ferb's acceptance does little to settle the crushing feeling of responsibility. "Next time you can speak I'll let you tell me whatever it is you needed to, okay? I promise." He smiles a little. "No more secret agent business to interrupt you."

The last sentence sure prompts a reaction from Ferb - he rolls over so that his face is entirely buried in the blanket and makes a frustrated noise without opening his mouth, his body shaking with some mixture of anger and physical strain. Phineas inhales sharply and recoils, no more prepared for an audible outburst from Ferb than the first time. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, already speed-testing possible answers in his head. "Did you not have fun today? Of- of course you didn't, that's why you're upset, but I thought you did a great job on the spy mission! It was really cool." He's trying to be reassuring, but Ferb just shakes harder, seemingly becoming more aggravated rather than less.

Phineas tilts his head in confusion. "Ferb? Ferb, it's okay, I-I'm sorry. Did... did it not go the way you planned?" he guesses, searching increasingly frantically for any change in Ferb's body language. "Hmm... oh, were you not finished building it yet?" He thinks back to Ferb's numerous attempts at speaking to him throughout the day, hoping that he'll find some clue that makes everything fall into place - and something clicks in his brain. He deflates a little at how painfully obvious the realisation seems in retrospect, with a soft "Oh." Sighing at his own ignorance, he directs his voice to Ferb again as he says, "You didn't actually build all that, did you?"

Ferb sits up slowly and turns to Phineas with his signature deadpan glare, the silent, biting sarcasm undermined significantly by the tears still falling from his eyes. Phineas hums concernedly. "Is that what you were trying to tell me?" he asks. Ferb gets partway through rolling his eyes before giving up and returning to the fetal position.

Phineas sighs sadly. He hates seeing his brother cry. There's nothing he wants to do more than pull him into the tightest hug he can manage, but he knows Ferb won't appreciate being touched in this state, so he opts to fiddle with his shirt again to keep his hands busy. "Who do you think did build that stuff?" he asks. Ferb doesn't care. On any other day, a secret spy lair being hidden under his house would be cause for immeasurable excitement, but after the day's events he's thoroughly sick of thinking about the subject. Phineas picks up on Ferb's antipathy towards the question and, sensing that it might be a sore topic for some time, decides not to bring it up again for a while. He'll satisfy his curiosity sometime when it doesn't come at the expense of Ferb's comfort.

An uncomfortable silence falls over the boys. It's broken when Ferb suddenly sniffles loud enough to make Phineas jump, sits up again, and halfheartedly tries to wipe the tears from his face. "Oh geez, hold on," Phineas says, leaning over to rummage through his short pockets. He eventually pulls out a wad of tissues, somehow unaffected by the earlier impromptu dive into Isabella's pool. He offers them with a gentle "here you go" to Ferb, who takes a few silently and scrubs at his eyes.

While he still doesn't feel good by any stretch of the definition, Ferb at least doesn't feel completely awful anymore. What was once a violent hurricane in his mind has receded enough that he can focus on the world around him without breaking down, at least for the time being, and he's left feeling just drained. He balls up his handful of tissues and tosses them at the bin under his desk. The ball makes it to Phineas' leg before unceremoniously bouncing to a stop. Phineas picks it up and throws it the rest of the way to the trash, standing up to do so.

Rather than sit down again, he kneels down and pulls out one of the drawers conveniently built into the bed. Ferb watches inquisitively, still too out of it to immediately catch onto what's happening. Phineas rummages a little before finally pulling out a pair of pyjamas, suggesting, "You should dry off and change your clothes." He pauses to think. "Can you make it downstairs to the bathroom by yourself?" he asks. At any other time, it would be a silly question, but Ferb is always exhausted after a meltdown. The visible effort it's taking him just to stay upright isn't lost on Phineas. Ferb ponders the question, then gives a tentative nod. He's definitely shaky, but he really wants to change into something dry.

"Great!" Phineas smiles encouragingly. "Should I bring the usual stuff to the living room? Your bed's probably not gonna feel comfortable until it dries out." Ferb glances down at the unmistakable damp silhouette of where he had been lying earlier and nods again, more confidently. He slowly gets to his feet, first pushing against his bed for support, then grasping the hand Phineas offers him. He lets go once he's certain he's regained his balance, and only then does Phineas hand him his pyjamas. "I'll come meet you downstairs, okay?" Phineas says. Then, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, which is still a bit soggy despite his best efforts to towel it off, he adds, "I should probably change into something dry as well."

---

Ferb rubs his eyes as he comes out of the bathroom, his drenched clothes swapped out for his much more comfortable pyjamas. He's stopped crying, it seems, but he's still feeling sensitive enough that the light from outside bothers him. He's relieved to discover that it's much darker in the living room - Phineas must have been here already. The curtains are drawn so that the lamp on the end table is the only light source in the room, softly illuminating its surroundings with a pleasant warm glow. He doesn't have the energy to analyse the entire room, even in these far more bearable conditions, but his attention is drawn to his favourite weighted blanket folded neatly on the couch. He sits down and drags the blanket over him, struggling a bit with the weight, but relaxing once he feels its reassuring pressure on his legs.

It's as he's settling into his position on the couch that Phineas enters with an "Oh, there you are, Ferb!". Perry is firmly but comfortably wedged under one of his arms, like a fuzzy teal football or loaf of bread, and seems altogether unbothered by his position. Ferb gasps quietly at the sight of Perry, his eyes brightening momentarily, and reaches out for him with various soft noises of urgency. Phineas wastes no time in setting Perry down next to Ferb, and the platypus reacts with a gentle, almost soothing chatter. Ferb instinctively mimicks the sound under his breath, and Perry responds with a nearly identical noise. Ferb echoes it again, slightly louder this time, and his face lights up with a weak smile, the first one he's managed all day.

Taking this as a sign of progress, Phineas sighs with relief as he sits on the sofa. He makes sure to maintain a respectful distance from Ferb, who's running a hand through Perry's fur as they echo the same low growling noise back at each other. (It pains Phineas not to join in, but he senses the two have gotten themselves into a groove that would be rude to interrupt.) Ferb's smile fades almost as soon as it appears, but he seems much more relaxed after the change in clothes and scenery. His hair is sticking up in every direction from being towelled dry, and Phineas stifles a laugh at how silly it looks. The back-and-forth chattering eventually dies down, and it's only then that Phineas continues. "Mom's gonna make you some tea, and she says if you aren't feeling better by dinner you can eat in here if you want," he says. Ferb turns to him and raises a thumbs-up briefly before returning his hand and focus to Perry.

Phineas quietly watches his brother for a moment before speaking again. "Do you want me to stay?" he asks. Exactly how sociable Ferb is while he's coming out of a meltdown varies. He almost invariably needs some time on his own to mentally reset, but sometimes it helps if someone he trusts is there to reassure him for a while first. In Phineas' experience, asking is always the best way to tell.

Ferb hesitates for a second, then surprises both of them with his answer, which is to turn and collapse into Phineas' lap with one arm hooked over his legs in a sort of pseudo-hug. Phineas tenses up, not sure how to react. He cautiously puts an arm around Ferb, in a comforting gesture that doesn't fully subject him to the overwhelming sensory experience of a true hug. Ferb doesn't fight it, just repositions himself so that he's lying down with Phineas as a makeshift pillow and sinks further into the gentle embrace. Phineas laughs softly. "Okay, I guess you do."

This is nice, Ferb thinks. Definitely an improvement over violently sobbing alone in his room. Perry must be feeling relaxed too, because he climbs onto Ferb's stomach, circles a few times, lets out one more chatter, then flops down and goes to sleep, purring gently. Phineas giggles at the platypus' behaviour, and Ferb's shoulders shake in silent laughter - his blanket absorbs enough of the sensation that it just tickles. Watching Perry doze off reminds him that he's still exhausted, despite the positive change in environment, and his attempt to stifle a yawn fails. He's still on high alert, and he knows he won't be sleeping for longer than a few minutes until the emotional clutter completely drains from his mind. With that said, both the blanket and Perry weighing down on him make for a pretty cosy combination, and he finds himself fighting to keep his eyes open. Maybe just a moment of rest will be good for him.

Before he knows it, his eyes are closed, and he's powerless to prevent himself from drifting off. Phineas accepts his new career as a pillow without comment, simply adjusting his right hand so that both his arms are positioned protectively around his brother. Being trapped in place for the time being doesn't worry him. Ferb won't mind being stirred awake when their mom arrives with his tea, and until then Phineas can easily occupy himself with thoughts of what to do tomorrow. Besides, he can subject himself to a few minutes of quiet if that's what Ferb needs. What kind of a brother would he be if he couldn't, right?

Ferb half-consciously brings a hand to Phineas' wrist, as if it'll float off if he isn't holding on. He can feel his brain shutting down, and he welcomes the change. The last thing he's aware of before his consciousness finally leaves him in peace for a moment is the sound of Phineas' voice, promising him, "You're gonna be okay."