#uhgjkhgh tags??

[remorsefullyunapologetic]

clears my throat so aggressively i start choking

Autistic Mercury Black Headcanons!

he learned to mask a lot of his autistic traits for obvious reasons, and a lot of the ones he still shows are usually just so minor marcus didn’t give a fuck or he can meld it well enough into his being traumatized an assassin

he trained himself to be able to read expressions and thinks he’s good at it but is very prone to missing nuances or mixing up their meanings

he has baaad anger issues. granted it’s genetic from marcus and also the trauma but the autism doesn’t make it any better. he’s very good (too good) at keeping a lid on it until he’s on the verge of exploding and he does something incredibly drastic or stupid

he doesn’t really understand love. it’s partially the trauma but he doesn’t know how to distinctualize his own feelings and can’t recognize when he’s experiencing attraction. like. he feels both love and attraction but it’s so abstract compared to his other emotions that he just doesn’t Get it, including for platonic attraction

he doesn’t like people touching him. yet another thing attributed in part to trauma but for this one it’s mostly the autism

special interest in mechanics and engineering but he never ever ever infodumps because Trauma

understands animals more than people. not necessarily in the way that he feels more like an animal, it’s just easier for him to understand the nature of things that aren’t as awful and complicated as humans. he prefers being around them as opposed to people too

auditory processing issues. he used to ask people to repeat themselves a lot but now does it only when it’s a vitally important topic because once again. trauma

he’s the autistic that is filled to the brim with sarcasm but cannot recognize it for the life of him

he usually doesn’t let it show but major changes can be a Lot for him. he generally needs some downtime when switching to a new location before he can do anything without getting overwhelmed

he always always always has to do maintenance on his prosthetics before he goes to bed and after he wakes up Or Else (routine autism)

if something upsets him it can be difficult for him to come up with a solution In The Moment because his emotions cloud his thinking capabilities even in situations that wouldn’t be classified as a “big deal”

small talk confuses him. coughs. the neurotypical “how are you.” (if you’re gonna ask him how he’s doing why shouldn’t he be at least a Little honest??????????)

he understands idioms, hyperboles, etc. but any metaphor that can be reasonably taken seriously soars right over his head

the resting bitch face isn’t just because of his personality it’s because control over his own body language is foreign as fuck to him and his only visual settings are default (unreadable with an undertone of murder), pissed off, smug, and little bitch type charming. once upon a time there was fear and pure joy but those are buried now

i havw,more probably but memory bad. please talk to me if you have any of your own. Please

WARNING: Headcanons involving child abuse, ableism towards autistics, disordered eating, and self-destructive behavior under the cut.

he stimmed a lot more when he was younger—he flapped his hands and stomped his feet, but if marcus caught him doing it he’d hit his wrists, kicked his shins, and at times would bind his hands and/or legs. by the time he was ten he’d learned to suppress them even if it left him with a lot of pent up energy

the stims he has left over are mostly self-destructive. he hits himself in the head when frustrated or overwhelmed and scratches when he doesn’t have enough to do with his hands or he’s uncomfortable/stressed/anxious

marcus didn’t want him to do that either but couldn’t get him to stop and he didn’t care as much anyways because at least it wasn’t an expression of positive emotions

he used to have meltdowns during “training.” marcus would lock him in his room and refuse to let him out even for food until hours after he’d calmed down. another thing he learned to suppress to a point where his body no longer allows him to shed tears even when he really needs to unless under certain circumstances

marcus forced him to eat whatever he was given, even though he had awful sensory issues, on top of starving him as punishment, so he now has a very unhealthy relationship with food. getting him to try new things is like a death sentence and he’ll hardly ever eat something he doesn’t like unless it’s life or death, but he also feels extremely guilty eating his comfort foods.