#i also love that complexity to him but it is real frustrating sometimes LMAO

[todayisafridaynight]

Kiryu is the only good dad in the series that doesn’t get screwed over.

Everyone else is either Kazama’s Norman Osborn lookin ass, a straight up bad dad, a dead parent, or an actually good parent who died.

ill keep it 100 with you anon i think youre going to ruffle a couple of people's feathers by saying kiryu's a good dad

[door-insurance]

So I played Life is Strange 2 for the first time ever

I didn’t wanna play it for a long time not cause it didn’t have Chloe or max (tbh I got sick of their asses around BtS they’re not even my faves)

By that point I was in college and had lost interest in the whole franchise but also I was very apprehensive of white creatives writing racism with no input from the group they’re portraying, they don’t usually do a good job

Sometimes they make it cartoony, sometimes they trivialize it, sometimes they romanticize it

So years later adulthood kicked my ass and I came back crawling to this franchise for some comfort, I finished True colors annnnd I finally started 2 after hesitating annnnd

^sketched this while playing

SPOILERS

I actually liked it

I liked Sean, the drawing segment he does- he was such a likable main guy, deserved better honestly.

I also liked Daniel, he was very adorable and I never got it when people called him annoying like no shit the 9 year old is gonna act like a 9 year old- just don’t be a jerk to him, I know he can be frustrating but that’s what taking care of a kid is like

And lis had always been about realistic complex characters, y’all can’t handle a traumatized nine year?

I have two younger siblings and two nieces plus I’ve been a bratty younger sibling to two older sisters

Maybe I’m just used to it?? But honestly Daniel wasn’t that bad

The racism portrayal in the first few episodes was not all that cartoony and it actually felt real at times, like I can check for American news rn and find stories similar to what you see in episodes 1-3 (minus the telekinesis)

Although the gas station racist hick spouting trump slogans was a bit on the nose, it’s more of dialogue thing

Some people thought the gas station detainment was egregious but it can happen unfortunately, especially to vulnerable people in rural areas and by someone of a higher systematic advantage

One other thing I did not like was the love interests, I thought Finn and Cassidy were alright characters on their own but why do we need romance in this game where the protagonists are always on the run?

I don’t like to compare lis 1 to 2 but when it comes to the romance the former did a better job as it spent more time establishing it, plus max stayed in the same place for the majority of the game- but you know what? Sean doesn’t have to be in a relationship right? It can be a one off thing, that’s fine

Which brings me to my next point

How old are Cassidy and Finn?

Cause Sean is still 16 and no, being on the road didn’t mentally age him- he’s not “mature” for his age

He is still a kid

So for some reason Dontnod never really specified their ages but some articles described them as teens (they look 30 to me) and they can be around 18 right? Their lives are hard stress ages you- it happens, we can with live that, it’s just a two years difference

But teens or not

why did they animate a whole knocking the boots scene???

Of all the games in the series, the only one that gets a sex scene is the one with the much younger protagonist and his ambiguously aged older looking love interest and I think it’s only with Cassidy you get to do it in the tent

Alex Chen was robbed of a on screen booty call from a beanie wearing lesbian with a sexy radio voice or a buff ass Adonis of a man who was Smokey the bear’s regional manager or something

Anyways I’m gonna move on I’m uncomfortable lmao

*im not hating on people who ship Sean with either Finn or Cassidy, I’m not even tagging your ship names- im just stating my personal preferences on my blog

One last thing I did not like about LiS 2 and it was the one thing that kept me from playing it for years

That one scene from episode 4

So at this point Sean Diaz went through the following:

-lost his father, had to abandoned his loved ones, education and home

-was accused of killing a cop

-had to take care of his little brother on his own while on the run, the same brother with telekinesis and none of them know how to control it

-was harassed, beaten then detained by a racist white man

-had to take refuge in an abandoned cabin with little resources

-the dog that they adopted at the gas station eventually gets mauled

-the one time they found solace at their grandparents house they had to leave abruptly cause the police was hot on their trail

-on their way out they can potentially witness the neighbors kid that they befriended get hit by the police car that’s chasing them

-they find shelter at a nomad campground but oh no they get involved with drug trafficking cause they barely have any other options to make money (unfortunately this happens a lot IRL this isnt egregious)

-Sean now has to deal with the trafficking, making sure that Daniel doesn’t get into any trouble with his powers while fake ass giancarlo esposito is breathing down his neck

-and guess what happens next… Daniel gets robbed into pulling a heist on temu gus fring and it goes badly, Sean can potentially lose a love interest/friend in Finn

-Sean gets hurt, Daniel goes so mad that he blows the whole place up; a shard glass flies into Sean’s eye and he ends up losing it

- Sean wakes up from a coma and learns that his brother is missing and he’s about to be taken to jail

- the one thing that consistently brought him joy during this trip was his art and because of the missing eye he can’t even do it the same anymore cause it hurts now

- Sean has to escape the hospital with a hot wired car, little money and has to drive across two states just to get to his brother

-on the way he dreams of his father, he wants him back he wants his old life back but that’s not gonna happen so he has to move forward

Im not listing all this as examples of bad story telling, a lot of these are real life experiences of homeless people. im just painting a picture of the shit that Sean had went through so far

Cause right after the dream sequence, Dontnod didn’t think all that was enough no you had to see Sean get hate crimed by two lifetime movie, sitcom special of the week racists- be made to either sing or suffer a brutal beating

It added nothing to the plot, it didn’t need a choice system either- it’s a hate crime, you’re not asking Joyce for fucking pancakes or eggs n bacon at the whales diner or hosing down Lisa the fckin plant.

This to me went straight to trauma p*rn category, it’s wheelchair Chloe all over again

I hated it then in LiS 1 and I hated now in LiS 2, this is why I don’t dick ride Dontnod that often

They always had this tendency right before the end they single out a particular character and mentally whip them, they become the writing teams punching bag- they think we didn’t get it the first time that this character is going through it, they just hammer it in with the subtlety of a heart attack and I hate it

“Yeah but it’s there to show Sean’s resolve to find Daniel-“

HE ESCAPED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND THE FEDS, HE HOT WIRED A CAR TO DRIVE ACROSS TWO STATES

He’s starving, dehydrated, suffering from chronic pain

That’s enough

Let the character breathe

You ask why not a lot of people wanna play this game and I’m gonna tell you, as much I enjoyed it myself it’s not an easy game to play- it gets brutal, especially right around the end

I’m not against bleakness or extreme conflict, I’m into that but sometimes that doesn’t translate well to any gaming format- especially a choices matter game that’s meant to be replayed

Some people have asinine reasons not to play LiS 2 like it dealing with racism and those people suck, lis had always dealt with progressive themes like calling out objectification, cyberbullying and sl*tshaming

Racism shouldn’t be the exemption

but misuse of racial trauma and not knowing when it’s appropriate to invoke it is a huge turn off and hella triggering to a lot of non white players and I remember when LiS 2 dropped I’ve seen (mostly white) lis fans at the time proclaiming that not wanting to play it meant that you were racist

Like I said there were probably racists who didn’t wanna touch the games cause of the main characters skin but there were people like me who were apprehensive of the “Let’s go to the mosh pit Shaka brah” people handling racism

This is the same studio that had Ms Grant (one of the few black characters from LiS 1) claim that the white settlers peacefully shared the stolen land with the native Americans

I find that shit harder to believe than the time traveling powers

And they were doing alright in the first episodes they covered stuff like unconscious biases slipping through, dog whistles, polite racism from the grandparents segment, police brutality, racial profiling and being targeted/othered- some of these things I went through when I visited western countries

Then they did the bullshit I feared theyd do…

I really don’t blame myself for being hyper vigilant at the time and honestly I was going through a lot then, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t have touched LiS 2 cause it’s a very heavy tasking game to play

I know I kinda made it seem like I didn’t like this game but I did, its the best one in terms of the choice system

It had more weight to it, seeing Daniel internalizing what you say to him or how you act around him was so cool

Also what the second game has over the first one aside from the choices system is the ending selection- I never liked picking the endings for max, I wanted her to pick the ending or her coding/script to do that

Its definitely more fleshed out technically even though LiS 1 has a special place in my heart it’s always gonna be no. 1- but im also glad that I got to experience the 2nd game for the first time, I liked it

Personal lis ranking

1: Lis 1

2: Lis 2

3: True colors

Discount bin: BtS

My personal fave moments from LiS 2:

- beating up the racist bully and giving him a concussion

-mushroom (rip icon)

- victorias letter

-winning that that bear from that claw machine

-gorillaz song that was not feel good inc

-Brody pointing at a fucked up looking arcadia bay yelling “that’s the past!”- that was hilarious

-Sean paying tribute to Arcadia bay in his sketchbook (this fucking kid man, he’s so sweet he deserves the world- what did he do to make DONTNOD mad at him)

- the wolf animation and the story that plays before every chapter

-this was the worst hate crime in the whole game

[nataliesfirefly]

Hi girl!!!

I just wanted to voice my appreciation for your ALL of your works. I love how you write romance and especially how you delve into the angst and miscommunication that comes with characters like Farleigh. You write him so well because with a character like him, it is definitely hard for him to healthily navigate relationships (esp with the reader hehe), so I love how you never fail to incorporate that into the story. We love all sides of him even though he can be so frustrating 😭.

Also, I love the whole aesthetic for your ongoing story. I absolutely love the whole academia vibe and it makes the story so much more rich. I love how studious the reader is, It literally motivates me to study even though it kills me💀. Which honestly makes me really curious, what kind of books do you think the reader and Farleigh would enjoy? I feel like even though they’re both so studious and academic, their taste in books would vary. I’m so in love with your book and thank u so much for all the hard work you put into it!

omg thank you SOOOO much this just made my day!! that is so nice of you, thanks for the appreciation girl!! hehe yes, farleigh is a very complex character but we love that, the story wouldn’t be interesting without him! i’m glad you think i write romance well, considering i have never been in a real relationship before... LMAO just outed myself there but mostly everything i know is from books and movies so i am relieved to hear that i’ve written the angst and stuff sorta well.

yes i also love the academia vibes, when i was trying to think of a new story idea i just knew it had to take place in a sort of harry potter type vibe minus the magic, if you get what i mean. it also motivates me to study and be an academic weapon hehe, but you’re so real for that... sometimes it’s hard to romanticize school. i see myself in the reader a lot since i am such a perfectionist and i’m too hard on myself most times, but we should all remember to do some self care and take breaks sometimes!

i love that question, i think farleigh is really into the classics, i think his favorite would be the great gatsby. i think he would also enjoy mystery or dystopian type books, or maybe even some horror like stephen king. as for reader, i think as much as she denies it, she really likes romance books. the cheesy ones and also the older, more meaningful ones. from time to time, though, she likes a good fantasy book or series with a lot of lore and a complex plot. her favorite series in elementary school was definitely harry potter. she read all the books AND watched all the movies.

thanks again for your message and question! i haven’t started on chapter 7 yet since i have been very busy with classes starting (i’m already drowning in work) so it may take me a while to get it posted! but just know i will never give up on this story because i also love it and can’t wait for you guys to see what happens! love you!! ❤️❤️

[prodagustd]

helloo!!! hope you're doing fine 💖 i've read the chapter 4 (of the road not taken) last night, and i must praise your writing once again!!! it's so immersive and i feel that you capture the complications of what it's like to make big decisions of your paths in life, being a yong adult and human relationships in between so well!!!

the characters are complex and not once sided...you know? it's like they're real people, it's so refreshing!! i loved to see what i feel it's like new sides of the protagonist, to know her better..i'm enjoing it so so so much!!! i'm in love with yoongi once again, he's so loveble, so understanding, attentive.....of course the story is yet reveling itself to us, but idk i'm biased 🤭 ...i loveee him and i'm excited to see more of this character!!

yesterday i was at work when i got the notification that the chapter was posted and i got sososososososo happy, genually happy, and i couldn't wait to read it...this story gives me butterflies and i'm really really loving it!! sorry about the long message, but i feel like you deserve to know how good you are and how people love your writing and this story!!!!!! byeeee, stay good ✨

WHAT??? I love long messages !! 😭 it’s literally my favorite part after writing ??

I’m so happy that you already read it!! And that you liked it 🥺 I think I know many people who are oc’s age (myself included 😭) and it’s such a collective experience feeling lost and frustrated when it’s time to make decisions that are going to affect all your life!??)!!

And I’m so happy that you’re enjoying the characters!!! Especially the oc bc I know she gets a bit complicated sometimes jshdjsj but she also has so many parts of me so i love her!! and btw, I’m SO biased about Yoongi as well bc he’s so cute 🥺 he did nothing wrong your honor (or did he???!!!?👀)

AAAA no bc you are giving me butterflies with this message!!! I love reading that you’re liking it, I’ve never been this excited to know what people think about my stories lmao. So please look forward to the next one!! I’m hoping it comes sooner than this one did❤️‍🩹

And again, thank you for writing!!! I hope you have an amazing day ilyyyyyy

[double--blind]

YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!!! The thing is, I think this also has deeper roots in how Ashley and Andrew each process love and what they each mean to each other.

Andrew is more physical regarding his love as a whole; sexual desire is just a boiling point he reaches. Odds are he can't help wanting to touch—it's just how he is, and most of the time, it isn't even sexual. He can't keep his hands off her bc it's how he conveys his fondness. It's tender, even, especially given that he clearly doesn't allow himself to voice the truths of his heart aloud. I mean, we're talking abt a guy who can't even admit he misses her sometimes LMAO so as a result, his care for her leaks out of him in how close he stands, how he twirls her hair around his finger. How he lays her head on his lap while he waits for her to wake up, how he pets her head when he pulls her close.

With Ashley, he only allows himself platonic interactions, which builds his sexual frustration. When met in such stark contrast with Ashley's apparent indifference to sex, that frustration only seems louder.

Meanwhile, Ashley—despite what her general deviance and her cavalier attitude might have you assume—is more emotionally driven. She's all words of affirmation and acts of service. She needs to hear Andrew admitting he cares abt her more than she needs to hold his hand (needing him to "prove" he chose her, asking if she's pretty, heckling him abt how he didn't say he loves her back). His presence alone is enough to satisfy her bc her inferiority complex has her fighting tooth and nail just to keep even that much of him. It's a means to an ends for her in a way that you'd sooner quench your thirst w/water than with a milkshake when you think you're at constant threat of dehydration.

It's like a hierarchy of needs. What Ashley craves is unconditional love; the love of undying friendship, family, a soulmate. Base level for her. It's life-giving. Andrew is the only way she'll ever satisfy this craving, and she's insecure abt him, doesn't think she truly has him.

Andrew is also lowkey operating on something similar, bc he's in the same weird codependency boat where she's become everything to him too (think, real quick, of how he's never actually expressed lasting care for anyone but Ashley; lover, parent, or friend). He's just less obvious abt it, bc he feigns normality, bc Ashley readily slots into his life w/o his input. Base level needs fulfilled.

The issue is that sex and romance is the only aspect of his life Ashley doesn't immediately manifest in, and he feels that imbalance profoundly. His wires got crossed. Truthfully, I think he only gets girlfriends bc he thinks Ashley couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't be that for him too. He doesn't really love them. His girlfriends are simply there to satisfy his desires (either for normalcy or for Ashley) bc they're building and there's nothing else he can do.

After all, in the flashback, Julia said she'll be fine as long as he's with her. He doesn't return the sentiment, lapses into silence.

Asks her to tie her hair.

Ok i have to talk about how Andrew seems. How do i put this. Hornier? For Ashley, than Ashley is for him- which i find both extremely funny and narratively fascinating. Also how Ashley views sex as transactional let's go:

Ashley is obsessed with Andrew, that's obvious, blah blah we don't even need to get into it; but when the topic of sex arises, we mostly only see her pursue it as a means to an end. She suggests that she may be able to escape the apartment through a pregnancy, or procure money through acting as a call girl whilst in the motel. 

Each time, it's Andrew who expresses disdain and stops her from going through with what would otherwise be a rather clinical approach to sex on her end. Ashley puts very little stock in the worth of sex, and seems to border on completely uninterested in it. 

Even with Andrew, she internally suggests it matters very little to her. She could take or leave sex with him, so long as he stays around. But Andrew is far more keen on sex and sexual practices; he's apparently (decently) popular with woman and is self described as "not celibate", much to Ashley's chagrin.

When Andrew brings up sex, it's never tactically, like Ashley. When he asks his girlfriend to put up her hair, or bitterly refuses to allow Ashley a sexual partner- even when it would benefit them both AND wouldn't bother her at all- it's just. So telling. So. Indicative of SOMETHING about him. He's the one that's always touching her, and how deeply red he flushes after the dream sequence is insane... And! The way he has an internal space in his mind dedicated to Ashley HARASSING one of his ex's, furious over the fact that she can't give him the sex he so clearly enjoys. Is. We'll say 'hilarious', instead of 'pitiful'.

[tiptapricot]

I’ve been having a lot of Evil Robo BnT thoughts recently, so here’s a bunch of them! This ended up pretty long just as a forwarning djjdjd

Post DeNomolos, Evil BnT are forced to do a lot of self exploration and discovery

They’re two robots from the far future, stuck in the past with each other and the two humongously important historical figures they were not only sent back to kill, but also physically made to look and sound exactly like, with no way back to their own time and no further reason to carry out the mission they were created for

It’s a lot to adjust to

(Three uses of the f-slur near the end in a canon compliant/reclaimed usage context, and implied sexual content, but extremely mild)

It still doesn’t have much of an impact on them at first though, besides some anger and annoyance. They don’t feel emotions in the same way or to the same depth that humans do, so they kind of fall back on: this sucks and that guy was a dick, guess we have to live in the stupid past now, and that’s the extent of it

But they’re also AIs, and AIs learn and grow

They hide out in a cheap apartment for the first few months or so back, going out to steal money to pay for rent and to pick up movies and stuff, but it’s exposure to the world, it’s living. And the more they interact with people, the more media they consume, the more the rigid walls of their programming break down and expand

And that’s when things start getting complicated

Because that’s when things like morals, sense of self, purpose in life, and, to their horror, real emotions start coming into play

Their evil edges start corroding, things stop being as straightforward, and they start developing into their own complex people

Being Bill and Ted with a few glorified descriptors stuck on the front starts feeling… weird, especially when they inevitably end up running into them again and being around them more

Because they’re supposed to be Bill and Ted, but they aren’t, and yet they can’t completely deny the parts of themselves that are….. it’s frustrating

As a first step in both asserting and exploring their individuality, they choose their own names

Evil Bill chooses Willis, or Will for short, and Evil Ted goes with Theoneous, Theo for short

It’s different enough to feel like their own thing, while still appeasing the ingrained itch to take BnT’s place

There are gaps like that, a disconnect/mental dissonance between their consciousnesses and the knowledge that they’re robots, circuitboards and wires and code, like a separation between what they feel is them and what they feel is the robot

That’s an experience that continues as they grow, especially as they try and figure out what to do with their lives. It’s tough sometimes, to figure out where the programming ends and where their own wants and drives begin

They’re the only ones familiar enough with future tech to help each other when they experience technical issues or need repairs, and the only ones they feel comfortable being that physically vulnerable with

It leads to them being kind of codependent, but it’s warranted in a lot of ways

They also naturally stick closer to each other, because even though they grow to have emotions and are able to care about people, they aren’t totally mushy

They don’t get as upset about things, or as excited, and while they form their own kind of love for the people they end up caring about (without admitting it), they’re still never able to connect with humans in the same way they connect with each other

It’s this inherent wall, a difference in how they experience the world

Their forms of affection are machine based, just like how humans are human based. They’ll give each other cold packs when it’s hot or they’ve been moving a lot, they’ll do evening maintenance on each other, chatting while one of them has their hand in the other’s chest cavity, and they jump on each other or bang their shoulders together super hard, because they can’t feel a thing and they’re durable enough for it, and that’s fun to them

That doesn’t really carry over to human interaction though, and a lot of times they end up coming across as cold or mean

They generally have a rougher seeming relationship than most humans. There’s a lot of teasing and insults and slapping, which turns most people off from them, but that’s how they show they’re comfortable (it’s also how they show they don’t like people, but there’s a subtle and meaningful difference there, AKA that they won’t purposefully try to harm the former party)

Robots process sound differently too, for them it’s more of a physical experience than just listening

Will’s guilty pleasure is that he likes to listen to piano (secretly), especially Debussy and other classical that sounds similar. Something about it makes his circuitry feel good and fuzzy and calms him down

He doesn’t feel comfortable telling Theo about it, it still feels like a dumb pussweed thing to be into (plus it continues to make him have some most non metal thoughts about kissing and That’s DEFINITELY not something he can share)

They also both really like death metal. Though they were loosely programmed with the knowledge of BnT’s music taste, it’s not quite their style, and they lean towards the more intense stuff

They do that in most fields though, since it usually takes higher energy stuff to get them going/excited/into something

That’s why they roughhouse a lot, and mess things up, and drive recklessly, it forces their mechanics to process more things more quickly, and as a result gives them their own form of dopamine/adrenaline

Sometimes things backfire, they’ve fucked themselves up accidentally on more then one occasion when stuff goes too far or isn’t what they expect, but they’re always there to patch each other up

When their synth skin gets ripped or torn they don’t always bother to repair it, and underneath there’s a layer of see through hard plastic and their bodies look like those clear case electronics that were popular in the 90s (idea cred to @juiceboxfrog !)

They also have inspector gadget-like telescoping stretch arms at their wrist and ankle joints, but they don’t use those much because they’re unsettling to most humans. Definitely a leg up when they want to climb places the shouldn’t, though (idea cred to @showbiz-za !)

Theo is more prone to needing fix ups than Will, since the extra wiring that was installed for the time and space spanning camera DeNomolos gave him made him more susceptible to short circuiting, over heating, and other glitches

After awhile he just takes his left eye out and leaves it like that, keeping his hair in his face to cover it. It doesn’t do anything for the internal parts of it he still has, but it’s not like it’s a loss. The connection port kept sparking, and it was uncomfortable and kept fucking with his vision, so it wasn’t worth it

Plus he didn’t really like that it used to be a camera… or still could be

One of the things Will and Theo both have to get used to is actually valuing their own privacy and autonomy

When DeNomolos was around they were just his tools, tools that he didn’t even like

They honestly grow to resent him pretty fast, both with his treatment of them, and, when their emotions are especially out of control, his creation of them

They don’t talk about it much, or when they do it’s mainly anger, not addressing or showing the more raw parts they do feel, because that’s still foreign to them, and their circuits weren’t designed to process or understand more complex stuff

Complex stuff like how being around Ted more makes Theo develop a certain… insecurity

It’s not like the connections are hard to make: he looks like Ted, he sounds like Ted, he was meant to be Ted, Ted has a dickweed of a dad, and Theo had a dickweed of a creator, Ted has Bill and Theo has Will

But Theo doesn’t have Deacon

And while he doesn’t want to be exactly like Ted, part of him also does (it was made to). Part of him wants to be human, to have those natural connections and someone to watch over

But he doesn’t and it’s weird*

He tries to ignore it, chalks it up to his drive still attempting to put him on his original track of replacing Ted, and therefore making him more aware of the family roles Ted has

For all he knows that is what it is, he’s just a robot after all

Even though they aren’t really ones for mushy love, Will and Theo do love each other

You can’t not when you know the other person inside and out, literally

They joke a lot about that when they’re doing repairs (“Dude you’re holding my heart, pretty faggy of you.”), and though they laugh, there’s an unspoken intimacy to it, something that sits warm in their wires and goes beyond platonic; something (though they would never describe it as such) loving about getting to take care of each other, and getting to get taken care of

The jokes also stop being jokes after awhile and take on a charge, morphing into unofficial flirting

Eventually that charge sparks, and their relationship becomes a different kind of physical. That’s new, too, a type of exploration neither of them are familiar with, but it’s nice, it’s good, and it’s easier to write off as casual and not meaningful than anything else (for the record I do think this works/plays out different for them than it does for humans, but I will nOt get into that here or anywhere lmao)

That arrangement doesn’t last forever, though, because one night Theo has a bad malfunction that cause him to completely power down, and it sends Will into a panic

It takes him almost an hour to fix the problem and for Theo to reboot, and when he comes back Will can’t stop touching him and checking in and it’s weird

“Why are you so worked up dude, this’s happened plenty of times.”

“Yeah I know you just… you fritzed out and went limp and it freaked me out dude.”

“So? You know this is nothing to worry about. I don’t get why you’re kinda acting like such a pussweed dude.”

“I didn’t know what was wrong! That’s plenty of reason to be fucking worried!”

“Not for you! Not for us! Why the hell do you care so much this time?”

“Because I love you, asshole!”

And then there’s silence, and staring, and then Theo cracks a smile

“Heh, fag.”

Kissing after a confession, as it turns out, makes both of them short circuit, and they wake up three days later still tangled up on top of each other, half falling off the apartment couch

“Y’know… I think we’re both fags now dude,” Will whispers, and they chuckle in the space between their mouths. “I did it first though.”

*he does get this later with Billie and Thea, but that’s a whole separate post

(As one last thing wanted to add that Love Came Along by Pansy Division perfectly encapsulates the vibes of Will n Theo’s relationship to me, AKA something casual and almost humorous while still being super intimate and emotional, so def check it out if you’re ok with suuuuper explicitly sexual lyrics bfgjgfdfg)

Headcanons masterpost

[bookworm-2692]

For the ZE Ask Game: 1b, 1e, 2a, 3d, 5e, 5f and 5n!

Thank you for sending the asks! I love talking about Zero Escape so thank you for enabling me :D

Questions from here

1b: Favourite character design?

Okay, you know how hard it is for me to pick favourite characters because they’re all wonderful and that’s why you went with this question haha. Hmm. There are so many good designs (especially with the colour coding!!!). I prefer the designs in the first two games, since they’re really bright and colourful, and the third game is darker and dingier. I like that each character has a main colour that stands out and doesn’t really belong to anyone else (except for Dio and K who both have the red and gold aesthetics, but that’s valid because red and gold is a brilliant aesthetic). I think in 999, my favourite is actually Junpei’s - I love the blue colour of his vest, and the blue vest and red shirt just. Work super well together. It’s a fashion disaster but it’s also an aesthetic I vibe with so. (also love the red blue colour coding with Junpei specifically so). In VLR, much as I loathe him, I really like Dio’s design. The top hat and the braids and the red and gold work really well together and it’s fun. Dio is super frustrating though, but his design slaps!

1e: Favourite scene?

Oooo tricky. There’s so many good moments. I think I have to go with the classic though - the moment in 999 True End where Junpei gets the safe end code, and the narration goes “How did Junpei know? He knew because I knew”. It’s so chilling and also so satisfying to see everything suddenly click. I love it, and I love watching people experiencing that for the first time. It’s like. The best part of the game, I reckon.

2a: Least favourite character?

Okay I’m trying to not immediately say Delta but like.... Delta. I think he had a super interesting concept, but the way it was executed made it so much worse. I hated that they just.... hid him from view so then the twist was that this character you didn’t even know existed was Zero? It just felt cheap. Also ~complex motives~ got really annoying - I would have much preferred it if he had said “yeah I’m only doing this to ensure my birth (and the birth of my sister). soz lmao”. Because that motive feels more real? Rather than just adding a whole random “religious fanatic” in a vague sort of way. I do like the concept of him and Phi being twins and being separated in such a way that they’re very different ages now, but again the execution of Sigma and Diana’s romance was like. Not done well.

So yeah, Delta is my least favourite because he doesn’t significantly effect the plot, barely exists, and when he is present his motives don’t make sense and his abilities are not foreshadowed at all (morphogenetic fields in 999 were good, the entire game was spent explaining the concept. Mind Hack? Right outta left field and also if we’re trying to make it work based on how morphogenetic field theory was explained in 999, the “reading minds” part of it is “extremely strong receiver”, and the “forcing people to do actions” part of it is “extremely strong transmitter”, so he should have one of the abilities but not both. And if he is a really strong transmitter.... he’s gotta mime out the action in order to write it into the fields to encourage others to follow! And I reckon natural transmitters, who are worse at receiving, are naturally slightly resistant to this, natural receivers are more vulnerable to this, and normal people somewhere in between. But yes, if Delta is gonna Mind Hacc Eric, then we should see him in the corner miming holding a gun, pointing, and firing!! Bleugh!

Wow that turned into a bit of a rant. Whoops?

3d: Rank the endings

I have been given the choice to either rank the true ends across the three games, or all the endings within a particular game. I am so bad at choices ugh.

Anyway, the true ends:

999 - it really tied everything together and explained everything. The sequence in the incinerator, seeing 12 year old Akane and 21 year old Junpei talking to each other, Junpei saving young Akane, Clover’s absolute joy at finding out Light is alive, the “he knew because I knew” thing that I mentioned above, just everything. It was a self contained story, so everything was addressed and it was good.

VLR - this is more second by default, since I love 999′s true end and hate ZTD’s true end. But overall, this is fairly solid, and I like the concept of them doing this in 2074 to change an outcome in 2028, but it loses points because it relies on ZTD to “complete” it

ZTD - I hate this true end. The game has very enjoyable moments, but unfortunately the true end amounts to “oh let’s just... SHIFT to a timeline where we all survive” and that’s it? Which just feels sort of pointless tbh. And is so unsatisfactory

Within 999, I feel all six five endings are extremely solid, and all have a part to play an a story to tell. Knife End may be the most unsatisfactory, but it’s still okay. True, Safe, and Sub Ends are the ends with credits, and they’re all full of great dialogue and story. Axe End is also great, and I love the way you get to see the other side of Clover (and I really like the art of Clover holding an axe, I actually drew it on Saturday (when I started writing these answers, but it’s Wednesday now because I’ve been busy) for a friend’s birthday, which is technically my first ZE fanart and I’ll post it here at. Some point. Knife end is a bit quick, but honestly that’s okay? Especially when considering how many bad ends the other two games have that aren’t even named. Coffin End was my first end, and I wasn’t expecting the “to be continued” so I basically just collapsed and lay face down on the ground for a fair bit, but again given how many plot locks the other games have, coffin end is chill. So 999 has the most solid endings overall.

Within VLR, there are nine named endings, one for each character, and 13 ish unnamed bad ends. The unnamed bad ends are all like.... basically as soon as you make the decision you die or whatever, they don’t continue onwards like they do for Axe End etc in 999. I like that the named endings are designed for you to learn about each character, even though some of them are kinda weak. Like Quark’s ending, we didn’t really learn about him, and most of what we learnt about him was from Tenmyouji’s ending. I agree with what you said, Finch, about how it would have been nice to get some more Quark content/bonding/something, after he wakes up. Clover’s ending was also pretty disappointing, since she vaguely alluded to 999 and then everyone killed themselves. But there were some really good ones, like Luna’s and K’s and Dio’s (very fun that Phi was about to smash his head with a rock even if betraying Luna to get to that point is painful). Actually I really like the whole murder mystery aspect of everything behind the Magenta door. 

Within ZTD, I do appreciate that the endings all served their purposes, but I disliked the way there were sometimes multiple endings in the same timeline, while other timelines... had none. It just was a bit all over the shop. Most of the endings were informative for the characters, but the true end sucks.

5e: Rant about something you liked from the games

I adore all the red/blue symbolism in the games, especially in 999. The way every time the morphogenetic field is described, the transmitters are red people and the receivers are blue people. And then when you learn who the espers are, you can see how the colours align. Clover is a transmitter, and her colour scheme is a lot of dark pink, close to red, while Light, a receiver, has lots of blue in his design. Junpei and Akane can both transmit and receive (with each other), and this is shown by Junpei wearing both red and blue, and Akane wearing purple, a mix of red and blue. It’s really neat. Also, Junpei is new to the morphogenetic fields, so his blue and red is still separate, but Akane is so entwined within them, and uses them so easily, that her blue and red have mixed to become purple.

In VLR, Clover is still pink, and Junpei still has blue (even though he’s lost the red, but that could show he’s lost connection to Akane and now has no one to transmit to, although I think it’s hilarious if he was still unintentionally transmitting to Akane over the years, and that’s how she kept tabs on him and found him again for VLR.

In ZTD, Diana is red and Sigma is blue. I actually headcanon Diana as a receiver and Sigma as a transmitter (as in, he transmitted his memories to himself across timelines rather than a natural receiver ability), so I like that in ZTD they have opposite colours/each other’s colours. Phi is blue in both games and still a receiver imo.

So the colour symbolism is obviously strongest in 999, but I really like it.

5f: Rant about something you disliked from the games

In VLR, Clover says that stronger espers absorb the powers of weaker espers, and that’s why she can’t contact her brother. I hate this “fact” actually, because it directly contradicts the way the morphogenetic fields work in 999 and ZTD, and also in VLR itself. In 999, we have nine sets of esper siblings during the First Nonary Game, and since they all survived, we know that their esper powers must have worked correctly.... which means we can’t have had one Super Esper absorbing all the powers. The true end of ZTD has the powers of all the espers working together to create a resonant effect so that even Eric and Mira, non espers, can SHIFT. I also dislike SHIFTing (a rant for another day), but the idea of multiple espers in a vicinity resonating/boosting everyone’s powers makes way more sense than.... one person absorbing everyone else’s powers.

And even within VLR.... Tenmyouji does the ally/betray swapsies thing with Sigma and Phi, which means he is also remembering another timeline.... which means his powers are still working and not being absorbed by Phi and Sigma. Also.... both Phi and Sigma are using their powers and SHIFTing everywhere. Why doesn’t one of them absorb the other’s powers? Also also, we learn in the True End that Akane was in K’s armour the entire time during the timeline where Sigma and Phi most use their powers for all the bomb passwords and locations etc. You cannot try to tell me that Akane isn’t the strongest esper, ever. She simply is. If absorbing was true, then we would literally never see anyone else use their powers, because Akane is always there (FNG, 999, VLR, ZTD) and would have to be doing all the absorbing. Gah.

So I reckon, even though Clover said that, that she was simply wrong. That was the current theory SOIS had, but.... they don’t have to be right.

In any case, there are other reasons why Clover might not have been able to contact Light in VLR. The first is simply that he is dead. Another is the idea that minds linked by the morphogenetic fields have a sort of... shape. That fits perfectly with those they are esper partners with. And as the espers grow, so do their mind shapes. Clover was frozen on the 22nd of December 2028, and awoke on the 25th of January 2074. Her mind shape was not able to evolve and grow, so it is preserved. Light however has been living those 45 years, which means that’s been a lot of time for his mind shape to grow and change. Clover can’t find Light’s mind in the morphogenetic field, since it no longer looks the same, and their shapes no longer fit together. This is my personal headcanon, and it means that when Clover finds him, their minds can get used to each other again and their shapes can align, and they can be linked again.

5n: Do you have any fanart/fanfic/fangame recommendations?

Boy, do I ever? The First Nonary Game by @airdeari . What it says on the tin, folks! Airdeari has named all nine pairs of siblings, and created unique sibling relationships and unique experiences with the morphogenetic field for all of them, and woven a beautiful story together, and it’s just wonderful. It’s my favourite fic ever, to the point where I literally bound it and it now exists as a physical book in my life. Like, I cannot recommend this fic enough, it is the best.

AO3 Summary: A tale of nine children aboard a sinking ship, and the unbelievable story of how they survived.

[ratplagues]

🔥 any dishonored thing of ur choosing -deathoftheoutsider

wah okay!! i will talk a bit about the outsider and void then..i dont really wanna frame it as a Hot Take bc i have no interest in starting shit or whatever like ill interact with whatever i want to in this fandom and ignore the rest and everyone else is free to do the same but.

I do not think The Outsider is a “character” in the conventional sense, much less that it does his character or the allegory he wields any justice to be shipped with anyone in the series (at least without seriously considering the implications and framing it in a way that completes the allegory. more on this later)

the outsider and his void are an allegory for Otherness; i’m namely gonna frame it as queerness and neurodiversity, but really anything could fit as long as it’s about you feeling seen as a marginalized and othered person. he is written to represent this allegory, not to be a person with a satisfying narrative arc or dimensions. this is why some people feel that he lacks depth-- he’s not supposed to have depth compared to others in the series, he’s mostly a vehicle for what he represents, and is supposed to be easy to identify with or recognize.

he was born to a life of hardship, suffered at the hands of the rich and powerful, was ignored, cast out, etc. etc. a familiar story. poor, queer, nd, really whatever you wanna frame it as. he was a nobody outcast. in comes the envisioned, they pick him to serve as their martyr and idol without his permission. he then had his name cut away and forgotten, and was thrust onto a pedestal to spend the rest of eternity being worshipped by other outcasts who had suffered at the same hands he had. he has something greatly in common with those who worship him, including the very people who stripped his mortality from him in the first place, but because of this shared hardship (and nothing else), his own autonomous personhood was disregarded completely in favor of The Community needing someone Just Like Them to idolize. if this sounds familiar, that’s because it should!!

his humanity was taken from him, and in his place, an idol was created. his human body is frozen in stone in the center of the void-- retired. out of commission. no longer needed. he was immortalized, transcended. this is traditionally desired, although dishonored is trying to convince you that it is not actually desirable. in the age of internet content creation, you can be immortalized without even being present, without knowing about it. you become what you can do for other people, and what you cannot. people fall in love with an idea of you, the idea of you being like them, and other people come to hate you deeply without even knowing you. people came to hate the outsider more deeply than he ever had been when he was human-- he wasn’t seen when he was human. a pedestal only helps you to be seen. the outsider had the choice made for him to achieve immortality in exchange for the simple joys of being un-known.

he spends all of doto trying to convey this idea to billie through the hollows:

"There is freedom in being hated. There is license in being cast out. Some learn this lesson a little too well."  "These people lay their thoughts, their petty wants, their murderous desires in front of me to witness. I cannot turn away." "We carry what was done to us through the rest of our endless days. No one asked if we wanted it." (i like this one. he speaks for the community-- this is a shared experience, one everyone can recognize. however, as a Queer Figure, he never asked for this. he never asked to be immortalized. i like the double meaning here)

not to mention, the entire extent of the outsider’s Sole ability and influence on the real world is to “choose” people and give them untold power over others. this is a fun ironic twist on what marginalized groups endure from powerful people, (dishonored is largely about power imbalances and socioeconomic hierarchies) but it’s also fun to think about in the context of the role model/fan framing-- so many worshippers give their lives to be “chosen” by him. it’s easily framed as an exaggeration of otherwise very real power imbalances and often the flagrant breaching of boundaries existing between creators and fans.

and on the subject of the VOID...ohht he void.....

the void should be a haven for queer folks. for nd folks. it’s wanted by so many to be a safe space, it should be, it’s the Other World! it’s renounced by the abbey, crusaded against, even. but it isn’t. it’s just this limitless, eons-old horizon that hungers and starves for something to fill it. if the outsider is the lament of queer idolatry, the void is the lament of queer Hunger. it is roaming, and restless. it does not belong to the outsider; the outsider cannot survive without it. it’s the desire to belong, not a place of belonging.

the void craves this idol, this outsider-- i, for one, have often experienced hunger for a truly moral and just role model, someone to make the world Right, and i know this is another shared feeling. those who worship the outsider, who drive themselves mad trying to see him or be chosen by him, are suffering from this idol hunger. you see this in a lot of queer and nd kids and young adults. i grew up just having my life and interests like, punctuated by different fixations on different people that i didn’t know at all, only fell in love with the idea of. it happens a lot.

there’s a couple more doto quotes that really highlight this for me:

"They carve my mark into the old bones bleached by the sun. They carve my mark into their skin. They learn true hunger in the Void." "All these charms, these runes and fetid offerings on shrines made for me, will be nothing more than objects worn of meaning. Bones and dead things, thrown into the dirt."

“They learn true hunger in the Void.” is something that i wanna touch on real quick. people can spend their lives obsessing over the idea of what they think the void will cure for them, will fix in their lives, only to find out that it’s just a hollow manifestation of the emptiness they’ve felt all their lives. it’s not the needs met, but the need itself. you have to make the home, it doesn’t already exist and you can’t fucking run to it. it is heartbreaking, frustrating, one of the bleakest messages i’ve ever encountered in a game, but i’ve never felt more seen. by submitting to these ideas, the idea of a perfect unhuman human and the idea of a perfect otherworldly home, you are surrendering your humanity. you’re not only being transformed by the powers gained (if they are gained), you’re essentially dissolving with hunger after never having these needs met. you see so many people in these games whittling themselves down to nothing but base need. empty apartments occupied only by shrines, sometimes containing their corpses. journals of people dedicating their lives to the worship of the outsider, always ending darkly.  "I will find this empty place. Somehow the key to open the Void will fall into my hands. In time, I will learn the secret and he will call to me as he called to her."

not to mention The New Envisioned-- prolonged exposure to the void will always, without fail, turn a human into silver void stone. these creatures can no longer interact with or acknowledge the mortal world. they have surrendered themselves to hunger, and cannot be saved. this is celebrated by the cult, honored by them, even. i honestly like....i pity them, and i hate them, and i recognize that i’ve been those people, lmao. when i was at my worst as a teenager, i wasnt so much a person as i was just a shell full of hunger and heartbreak. my personality was defined by who i was a fan of. i think i definitely was Less Human then. the cult of the outsider is a universal experience!!

dishonored, at its core, is a celebration of humanity. it asks you to celebrate human emotion and weakness despite greed and bigotry. the powers are not to be wanted, they are to be ignored, refused. it is human to hunger, but it is Queer and Divergent to make hunger your life’s meaning, to need to learn the secret, find the key, be chosen and loved and cherished, to be made whole by some perfect thing. to find your humanity in something un-human. dishonored sees all that, mourns it with you, and then asks you to find humanity in each other !! love the spine of your lover, the blood draining down the docks, the pause to stretch languidly in the sun of a work day.

and finally...on the topic of outsider shipping....i dont think that, in his god form, it does him much justice to be shipped with anyone. he’s not much of a person, just a projection of his former self and a vehicle for his allegory as discussed-- im sure he could be shipped like this, but it just isn’t satisfying to me in any way. however, let’s talk a bit about his lethal and nonlethal ending. DOTO asks you to make a choice. is it better to give him an abrupt and merciful ending, after deciding that the fury he’s endured at the hands of others’ famine is too much trauma for any mortal to live with? or will you decide that it’s only fair to give him a chance to live the life he never got to, to return his humanity that was taken without his consent? if you choose to free him from the void, i think you can very very easily make the argument that he can be shipped with corvo, or anyone else that can easily be shipped w/ ppl. he’s finally free to live his life as a queer man, can explore the simple and complex joys of being human with other people, navigate the hills and valleys he never got to before. corvo’s just a nice pick bc 1) experienced human/inexperienced human is good, 2) they know each other, but they don’t. this is a good setup. 3) corvo is an older queer man and uhh you cant convince me otherwise lol! and older queer/younger queer is a self indulgence for me. also corvo is just nice. i think he would enjoy helping the outsider navigate his new humanity.

just some thoughts i have running through my head all hours of the day :) this is really long cuz its a combination of a lot of infodumps from discord lmfao

[starshine-selfships]

1, 10, 11, and 12 for the ask game ? 😺🙏💟

Hi hi hi!! You're getting long answers to these bc any excuse to talk about this man makes me go crazy stupid 🙌🙌🙌💕

1) What's a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

HE👏IS👏NEURODIVERGENT!! I'm specifically talking adhd, but he checks a lot of boxes for something more ambiguous too. I'm actually rewriting my adhd sh.aiapouf post and I'm gonna put it here too, but the cut time version IS: noticeable hyperfixations/special interests in music and the monarchy, practically no empathy + has difficulty understanding the emotions of others, fast thinking + thinks a LOT, almost weirdly analytical + book smart with little to no interpersonal skills, extreme emotions all over the board, like there's a LOT here and it explains like 80% of why he's Like That 😤

10) How did you feel when you realized "oh of course I had to like That Character"?

Okay I have a lot to say on this one djnfkffk please bear with me as I write a whole novel

✌U_U ✌

Honestly,, , I wasn't happy LMAOOO, around the time I watched the anime for the first time i was actually still pretty into j.jba and unfortunately was really into dio U_U

I was fascinated by pouf as soon as I saw him in the opening, lots of neat ant designs and then this butterfly man?? I need to know everything about him 👀 His intro with the rainbows in the wings, the fairy chimes, the solo violin, all had me like 👁👁 Sir I Am Going To Study You Like The Insect You Are, and then I saw him actually play the violin and was sold lmao. He was funny as far as comic relief went and then? The giant improv ballet breakdown and antagonistic turn drew me in further and then I was invested in a no going back sorta way as soon as he went chibi for the first time, just watching the chaos of the entire scene with this ridiculous huge grin dhjdkxkf every single thing he did was in the extremes and it was like watching a train de-rail in real time, I saw him face down in the dirt at the end of the arc and didn't even feel anything, he was just so WILD

So I finish h.xh not too long after that and texted a friend and was like hmmm. I need to watch j.jba to return to my roots and also to forget that I think I might've accidentally given myself a lil crush on the butterfly man 😳 idk if that return ever happened but I DO remember being frustrated with how pretty he is,, I didn't really wanna shift hyperfixations at the time and also didn't know if it was attraction or gender envy bc. what I would give to simultaneously look so fem and so masc 👁 either way it was a 3 month struggle of "oh no oh my god I wanna kiss a bug so bad?? 😞" and then I caved at midnight in a denny's and was like okay. fine. I'm gay for a bug, I really really like him but *i* don't have to like that 😤

I did, in fact, proceed to like it, enough to make an entire separate blog for him. It was a slow progression of "I mean, I'd share a ballroom dance with him, like a waltz maybe", "hmm okay he's funny but whatever", "oh uh. he uh. I mean he's neat, a lot of people didn't like him but I just think he's an interesting character 😳" and. and then I finally caved and I never stopped talking sjdkfkf though to be fair, I was already talking about him a LOT on my main, I just decided that maybe it would be nice to have a space to just. contain 90% of my poufposting LMAOOO

Final note on this, but I think what really got me is how many characters are in this series and yet I gravitated towards the one no one could stand 😞✌ though to be fair the hatred for him has definitely gone down compared to what I can remember from a few years ago; absolutely does not change the fact that He Is The Way He Is, but I saw the war crimes, malice, potentially treason, and I won't name it but it's by far the most uncomfortable thing to sit through in the arc, I saw ALL of that and still went hmmmm yes I want that one U_U true love huh

11) Do you think it's better to have copious amounts of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?

The art situation with him is strange bc there's a decent enough to be notable amount of art of him captioned with some variation of "I hated him but he had a really cool character design", but it's still content. Surprisingly, I actually don't track the tag for him but take a look at it anyways almost every day and there's maybe one new thing there like once a week, minimal content bc so many people just didn't like him, which is fair!! But also, he was definitely there as a prominent character, I'd just like to see more of him U_U I would put more art here but I'm too conscious of the art ops seeing my bs over here jdkdkfkk

There actually are a handful of ship art drawings of him, which astounds me bc this man wasn't there to make friends, not even with his own siblings :/, but the errant art of him with morel or kite is honestly pretty cute, please just let this man be happy, I love to see him smile 🥺

12) Aren't you tired of being nice? This is an excuse to rant.

He wasn't the worst guard!! All three had reasons for doing what they did and arguably, pouf's motives were the most complex. Yes he did some pretty awful things, but he considered them to be the right thing to do without a doubt in his mind, all his actions were selfish in that they were based off his own feelings, but he did things ultimately for the king, so his actions also had an edge of selflessness to them as well. He was just. so much more than annoying and while his character development wasn't positive, it was still some pretty astounding growth; as an antagonist, he's also fairly plausible 👀 sometimes people just are manipulative, sometimes feelings do get the better of you, pouf just has all those factors amped up to 11 at all times so they're magnified. I have. a lot of thoughts on him, he interests me very much 😞👀🤔👀

[sarahisslytherin]

Hi!!! Can I have a 𝘆𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘄 in HP please? (Preferably male) Thanks in advance ❤️

I'm 19, Southeast Asian with Spanish descent, Libra, ENFJ-A/ENFJ-T, Neutral Good, Ravenclaw, and a Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using the pronouns She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing religious woman that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm very complex...My personality is a mixture of Aerith from FF7, Rinoa from FFVIII, Yuna from FFX, Padmé from Star Wars, Umaru from Himouto! Umaru-Chan, Itachi from Naruto, Shinobu/Mitsuri from Demon Slayer, Oikawa/Kageyama from Haikyuu!!, and Momo/Ochako from BNHA. I also coincindentally radiate the common traits of a Libra together with my mbti, and the cinnamon meme "𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂". I also have this 𝗕𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲/𝗗𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲/𝗞𝘂𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲 vibes if I'm an anime character, I laugh loudly on a daily basis, speak with nerdiness (in an entertaining way) or sarcasms, cites some meme references and unashamed of being true to myself in any aspects. But my deeper self is a hella fragile, doubtful, frustrated, insecure and hopeless romantic, pushing too much to please everyone because of my fear of failure that might dissapoint them from their expectations, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever though it's a slow burn process.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic, clumsy, indecisive, feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to pull off corniest jokes/puns, and banter or make pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way, and will be your no. 1 supporter.

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well. My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also have a habit of staying up all night and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness or just to give thanks in some complicated situations. I hate stereotyping, huge creepy crawlies, poorly written soap operas, toxicity, loneliness, being left out, heart breaks, and blackout. My pet peeves is forcing me to do what I'm not into.

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

ok took me a hot second to pick somebody but i think i've decided on fred weasley because i think he would be so into all of your interests, like he'd love listening to your music with you, you two would probably live in his shop screwing around with all the stuff they have. i also feel like he would so enjoy the whole "looks like a cinnamon roll but actually kill you" aspect of you lmao

[randomcanbian]

(re: Fandom Meme) B, D, N, P, R, Y ??? (also if you feel like answering T again about anything else pls do (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) (also let the record know that your first answer was *chef kiss* wonderful and should've been canon imo (╯▽╰ ))

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Felix x fem!Byleth from FE3H... I thought it’d be the same as f!Dimileth (the fandom version of it at least) where the man is like ~~ohhhh I’m a monster I’m so broken ahhh I push people away and go on berserker rages because of my tragic backstory~~ and the woman has to be gentle and kind, the epitome of femininity (despite being a mercenary who had been trained to kill since she was 11...), basically put himself above her on so many levels and the onus is on her to ~~fix him~~~...but apparently not??? The fancontent is so gorgeous and has them as equals, both lonely people who’ve had their childhood taken away from them, both who’ve closed themselves off from the world (or in Byleth’s case, has never known how to open herself up to it), both of them seeing themselves in each other, both taking it upon themselves to meet each other half-way and from thereon help each other process their past and walk forward into the future...damn man, the kinship and the partnership in this ship... (also it really helps that 1. Felix is awed at Byleth’s swordsmanship and tactical mind and pushes himself to surpass it, forming a foundation for a healthy rivalry 2. the fandom does not forget that Byleth is her own person and not just Felix’s partner *cough* Dimileth *cough* Edeleth *cough*)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t

Hmmmm well sometimes I wished (in general) that I could actively ship mlm couples, just because there’s so much content for them :)) (don’t get me started on how fandom gravitates towards male characters and mlm ships...lmao someone way back then gave me the excuse that it’s because the actual creators put more effort into their male characters and that they end up becoming more complex and interesting and like *looks at my fandoms where there are just as many girls as guys, just as interesting (if not more so) backstories and dynamics and interactions for the female characters, looks at the sheer number of mlm shippers in those fandoms who squeeze the most out of every insignificant moment for their male characters while ignoring the depth and complexity of the female characters* sure)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Glee

1. Fanfic with more “out-there” ideas :)) (Don’t get me wrong, there are fanfics that fall far from Glee’s high school/young adult/modern-coming-of-age setting, and even for fics that do fall under those spheres there are some that deal with complex, intricate themes in such an incredible manner or even if not that are just plain enjoyable but like,,, there aren’t enough for my ever-expanding hunger HAHA)(my last couple of fandoms were dark fantasy/sci-fi/whatever The Good Place is so I guess I just got spoiled lmao)

2. More analytical thinking LMAO I guess it just frustrates me that there are so many people in the fandom who take things at face value??? Given how biased the writers are and how shit they are at continuity it really doesn’t make sense to me that so many people take things so literally haha

3. More fanart unu I totally understand though that the fandom isn’t as big as it once was but a girl can dream, you know?

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Something that I had wanted to write for Brittana (since 2012!) but never had the brain cells to: a sailor!AU where the characters live on a flat world and they’re trying to sail towards its edge (encountering so many mythical beasts and legends on the way) (may or may not be inspired by C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader haha)

Special mention to this AU since I've used for at least three fandoms by now haha: Pygmalion&Galatea!AU wherein one character creates a statue and her love for it brings it to life :)))

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

LMAO I went through Bae Doona’s body of work (what was available of it at least) in 2015 and ended up shipping her character Park Hyun-nam with her best friend (Yoon Jang-mi) in 플란다스의 개 (Barking Dogs Never Bite)...I wrote a very small ficlet of them (I literally had to create the section for them in ao3...and lmao I just checked and I am still the only fic in there HAHA)(please don’t look for my account btw all my fics are so self-indulgent and atrocious huhu) and I also made this gifset of them :))) As far as I know I am literally the only one in the entire world who ships them HAHA

Similar story for her character Ri Bun-hui in 코리아 (As One)...although honestly if it turns out that a decent number of people have seen this movie I’d be surprised that no one else shipped Bun-hui with Hyun Jung-hwa??? Because they??? Tennis table rivals from North Korea and South Korea who have to team up to win at the Olympics??? Jung-hwa trying to get Bun-hui and her team to loosen up??? Them becoming closer??? When the Olympics are over and the North Korea team have to go home, and Jung-hwa chases after the bus and tries to reach for Bun-hui’s hand, realizing that they might never see each other again??? I??? (Just...I had to make this gifset of their hands: when they first meet each other, when one takes the other’s for comfort, the last time their fingers will ever touch...)(Also let’s ignore that it’s a re-telling of real life event akjsndaskj haha)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all

(Thank you roseate ;u; I’m glad that you agree and are interested with my headcanons ;o;)

Santana’s a trivia nerd and is the type to deep-dive down Wikipedia pages which is why she makes all those obscure references :))) (Also a more specific version of this headcanon, not something that I’d die defending but like,,, something that I won’t let anyone take away from me lmao is that she’s a TV/movie buff, dabbles in comics (specifically, DC and follows character like Wonder Woman, the Birds of Prey, Poison Ivy/Harleyquinn, Batwoman, and Renee Montoya), and started getting a little into theater/musicals after spending time with Kurt and Rachel :))) She also has a record player back in Lima and has a bunch of vinyl records back home (back in high school she’d play a couple of slow songs and just slow dance with Britt in the privacy of their bedrooms uwu)(imagine this scene and this song playing in the background ;u;)

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

BTS, because so many of my friends are KPOP fans

Genshin, also because so many of my friends are into it

魔道祖师 (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) because my close friend fangirls over them so much and we just exchange anecdotes with me and Glee/Fire Emblem and her and TGDC

Critical Role and My Brother, My Brother and Me podcast because my gf is a huge fan of them :))

Not quite there yet, but I am looking forward to having Dostoevsky’s extended universe as a secondhand fandom HAHA

[god-fucking-dammit-mizutani]

What are some of your favorite things about Taishiro?

I was about 2K in when I realized this could have simply been a short list but since I’m the Queen of Not Shutting TF Up, here’s some terribly rambly not-quite-meta:

1. Their characters! I really think as separate characters they’re really fun to sit down with and just consider what makes them tick. It’s been years since I dipped my toes back into the fandom and I have honestly never been bored of them. I love a lot about the other characters of course, but there’s something about Taichi and Koushirou and their stories and their growth and development that feels — I don’t know, timeless? To me, at least. I also just think Koushirou’s arc is Really Important in general, but that’s for another time. I also love the way they interact in the canon and how their personalities kind of work with each other which leads me to:

2. Their Dynamic! It’s easy to say they’re the quintessential Lovable Jock and Nerd archetypes, but overall I think one of the biggest appeals to me is how they don’t really fall back on typical tropes too much and they honestly compliment each other as characters rather than contrast. I think in the digital world specifically they were both on equal footing— they were both pretty important exactly for the reasons that made them different. Taichi was a people person, so he led them. He was a go-getter so he fought with raw power and heart. Koushirou was a thinker, a planner, and so he used his skills and knowledge to unlock secrets, to get them home, to understand their circumstances more. It could have led to a lot more fighting and shrugging each other off to see which side worked better: brawn or brains. Not to say they didn’t have squabbles, but the above was never really the exact conflict in itself iirc? There were quite a few times Taichi had to lean back on Koushirou’s skills and ask him for help, and there were plenty of times most of the kids relied on Taichi and Agumon’s strength— but that didn’t mean Koushirou shied away from fighting either (let’s not talk about the clown episodes pls). They fill in for each other’s weaknesses and I think that’s both in the digital world and just their relationship overall. Koushirou is more calm, more collected and strategic, more of a listener, and Taichi is the more brash, the more emotional one for better or worse, sometimes more optimistic to Koushirou’s realism, which I think evens out in some way. This also kind of feeds into how I feel that:

3. They better each other! Taichi has a bit of an impulsivity issue with a yo-yoing icarus complex. His heart is always in the right place, I believe, but sometimes his action takes precedent or he gets swept up or overwhelmed to the point of frustration-- which I think is where we see his occasional outbursts of anger or complete dejection. Personally I think he needs someone steady; more reasonable to even him out when things get too much. There’s a scene in the novels about the Nanomon part where Sora even thinks as much: “If Taichi didn’t have at least one person around to scold him and shake him up, he would never get back on his feet.” She thinks she’s the only who fits the bill in this particular scene at least (her attempt doesn’t work but overall I agree she’s a really steadying presence for Taichi, too), but I do also personally think it also spells out Koushirou fairly well. One thing I’ve kind of noticed, and it might just be my own poor interpretation/memory or something idk, is that he never really feeds too much into Taichi’s anger. He might be some part of the cause or the receiver of his frustration at times, but he doesn’t feed it back with the same level of anger and fists and I think that helps Taichi a lot. Most of the time Taichi seems to understand what he did wrong right after losing his temper, apologizes, lets out some of his frustration through venting maybe, and then they feel like they move on. Koushirou doesn’t throw it back in his face, but he doesn’t necessarily openly excuse it either (usually appearing more Stern I guess when speaking back), and Taichi doesn’t come off like he’s been secretly agitated by Koushirou for five hundred years— like it generally seems just a product of the time, like it stemmed from outside frustrations and internal struggles and they find a way to move on. And even with all the respect he shows towards Taichi, I don’t think Koushirou is blinded by it. For all his issues with people and believing he can’t know them without knowing himself, I think Koushirou is actually pretty good at reading people to a certain degree (maybe not all of their cues, but definitely them on a core basis). There’s a scene in the novels where Yamato tries to vy for the leadership position, telling Taichi he’s too soft-hearted, and Koushirou jumps up immediately to Shut It Down, specifically saying he won’t recognize anyone else but Taichi. Surprised by this, Yamato tries to spin it as Koushirou just being one of “Taichi’s fans”, to which he also Shuts That The Fuck Down with an accurate description of why Yamato could never replace Taichi (spoiler: it’s that he’s too emotional and Yamato concedes because he can’t argue lmao). There’s a specific line in that scene which says Koushirou, “wasn’t speaking out of loyalty to any one party,” so I think the point of it all is that, objectively, Koushirou believes Taichi is the best leader solely because of his qualities and not just because of Koushirou’s own personal biases. He’s loyal to Taichi because he knows him, trusts him, and believes in him as a person (and he’s so right to). I really don’t think it’s some sort of hero worship-- I think Koushirou can look at Taichi and see all the cracks in his armor, but instead of hollow space he sees potential; he sees the pieces welded together with gold and all the good Taichi wants to do, can do, will do, and Koushirou is willing to support him, which sometimes means telling Taichi when he’s faltered along the path and not just going along with it. I just think this is a pretty profound thing from a character who spends a lot of time distancing himself from others, including his parents up until the episode they hash things out. Essentially I think he wants the best for Taichi and he’s not going to pull the proverbial punches when needed, and I think that’s good for Taichi on an emotional level sometimes. Like his mellow compliment. He respects Taichi, and the thing is, I feel like Taichi respects him in kind. I know there’s a scene where Koushirou gets mad at him and Taichi is like, “No please don’t be,” in 02 but I’m drawing a blank as to the why right now (it’s been longer since I rewatched that than 01 haha)… but it’s a very big difference imho on how Taichi reacts to other people being angry at him. Like, he doesn’t want to disappoint Koushirou, like his opinion of Taichi matters to him. I think Hikari falls into this, too, and Sora probably, but just not the point of this post. But in general Taichi realizes Koushirou’s strengths and utilizes them. The biggest example is when they try to open the gate and Taichi asks Koushirou for his opinion on how to place the cards. This flusters Koushirou because he’s not exactly an attention seeker. Nothing he has done in the series has been towards the goal of recognition-- just simply knowledge. And Taichi knows this. He knows Koushirou is smart and lifts him up and literally tells him he’s important and the group openly agrees (here’s also how the manhwa interpreted it lmao). It is so much more blatant in the 2020!Digimon series lmao but I do think it’s sprinkled in the OG series, too, with the kids being a little less overt and little more Complicated regarding these kinds of interactions. Also on the subject of bettering each other, Taichi is the sole reason Koushirou decides to go to the camp in the first place. This is something that used to be explored in a looott of fics back in the Hay Day but essentially my point here is: Taichi is someone who will bring Koushirou out of his comfort zone, but I don’t think he’d actually intend or suggest something that would bring him discomfort. The camp itself is very blatantly not Koushirou’s Scene, but we know he doesn’t make decisions lightly. He doesn’t do it to advance his social skills, either. He does it because Taichi asked him to and he trusts Taichi enough to have his best interests at heart and I think it does in some way lend to Koushirou coming out of his shell overall. But again, that could just be me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. They trust each other! I went through a lot of that above I think so I don’t have more to add at the moment, but it’s worth pointing out specifically.

5. They’re also not Perfect! Sounds counter intuitive from everything else I’ve said, but it’s true?? It makes thinking about their dynamic really interesting and fun to explore because they feel more like real people with flaws and their relationships with each other and others have flaws and I just love when shows can do that?? Like just give subtle enough nuances to characters and their relationships so they just feel more realistic— like you could meet another person like any of them off the street?? I digresssss. But more specifically for taishirou it makes wanting to explore their relationship more interesting— what would happen in this one scenario? What is it like when they grow older? I think for instance communication is probably an issue of sorts between them for a while. I can’t come up with the words for it right now and there’s been better stated meta before haha, but I do especially think that Koushirou would have a hard time opening up on a more emotional level for some years and Taichi would eventually begin to see that in some way as rejection until he felt the need to say/do something about it. Like I think, accidentally, Koushirou keeps some of his walls up and maybe while Taichi’s scaled most of them effortlessly, there’s like a glass left that if they’re not trying to see it, almost looks like it’s not there. If that makes sense? But this isn’t something I think is permanent, because I think there’s a section in the novels, too, where Taichi is elated that Koushirou speaks openly and honestly with him, something like, “It made me happy you spoke so casually to me, like you opened your heart to me.” So I think in a matter of time Koushirou would open up more, it’s just hard because he struggles with a lot of self worth and just… existential dread—this child I swear??? But I’m very interested in considering how they grow more, grow into each other, the way they’d learn to work better together not only on saving the world, but I don’t know like, splitting up the chores. Better people have put better words together, but I tried…!

6. Friendship is a wonderful basis for a romantic relationship! It doesn’t have to be the basis of every ship/relationship, but I think it’s a grand thing to forge as a foundation and merged with everything above just makes it better to me. They can be best friends and lovers haha. Also just childhood friends into lovers is still a good trope, yes, thank you. But, I do also love their friendship just as friendship. Again, I just really love their dynamic on the whole—I just also really love them being in love lmao.

7. They fit a “Quiet, but profound” love kind of feeling for me and it will be my end! Again this is personal interpretation, but the way I kind of feel about them is that they’re this very quiet sort of love. Like it’s There and it’s grand, but it’s not as loud as some others might be. It’s small smiles and the brush of their hands, it’s the silent, “Are you alright?” It’s dinner reheated and left by the computer; a small neck massage because Taichi sees the way Koushirou’s scrunching his eyebrows together and that means he’s going to get a headache. It’s Koushirou deciding to buy expensive tickets for a soccer match, not because he’s dying to go, but because he wants to enjoy something with Taichi that he enjoys and it’s worth the pretty penny (still not over this being technically canon). It’s the quiet stare when Taichi comes home and everything’s overwhelming and Koushirou just knows he needs to talk it out, for someone to listen. It’s looking at the other person, knowing them, seeing all the cracks and thinking, “I want to wake up to this every morning.” It’s a gradual thing, but it’s also a built thing. Years of self discovery and growth, of being at each other’s side, of integrating into each other’s lives so that it’s just all natural. Years of mutual pining. Because I’m human and I need this.

8. They fit this quote and it fucks me up: 

Obviously none of this is to down play the enormous help that Agumon and Tentomon were to their respective growth. I also think the rest of the cast is wonderful and unique in their own way. Like I think Yamato pushes Taichi to Do Better in his own way, is the perfect foil, but also friend who much later on kind of Gets Him on a level others don’t necessarily, you know?? I honestly Love Them All So Much,  I just…. feel like I need to point that out haha. But there is something special in the Taichi/Koushirou dynamic that has kept me invested for over a decade and I’m terrible at the meta/word thing but these are definitely some of the things I love about the ship.

[iaintyourbro]

I watched ACC again and I'm in my feelings. I hate when people use the rough time Cloud and Tifa are having in their relationship during ACC as evidence that they don't work. What a lot of people tend to ignore is that FF7 Compilation is a BODY OF WORK. OG resolved the intimate plot of Cloud's identity issues by having Tifa fix his brain and "their love is brought into the light" as per the Ultimania. They honor those feelings Under the Highwind and move in together after saving the Planet. 1/3

OF COURSE the next FF7 piece will put friction between them. The devs have to challenge the very thing that saves Cloud and Tifa from the craziness of the previous work (ie their love). That's literally how a story progresses, you continually up the stakes. This time, Tifa can't save him. He has to do it himself but he's having a hard time. She helps by cutting him a slice of tough love pie. It works. He listens and their conflict is resolved literally hours later. 2/3

Cloud resumes his work, lives with Tifa again and asks to spend more time with her. She enthusiastically agrees. Come DoC, they're still happily together. In what universe is that relationship "not working"? Lolz you gotta stop making me laugh, Karen. Viewing FF7 as a body of work is maybe the coldest way to look at Cloud and Tifa's story and it still firmly shows the depth of their love and bond. Sorry, rant over LMAO. 3/3

Hey anon! Thanks for this, I think it’s a good summary of how frustrating the ship battles can be.

In terms of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship, yes, they had issues in AC. Show me a long-term couple that has never had issues. I’ll show you a liar or somebody who’s story is gonna end up on Investigation Discovery. 

And when he finds her in the church, he completely starts to freak out. Do you think he’d care that much if he didn’t love her? 

The fact is, Cloud and Tifa both have a lot of trauma. Cloud’s got so bad it broke him mentally. That’s not something that just goes away. It’s a lifelong effort to heal from something like that and you never fully will.

It’s like any other mental illness. You can do things to improve the symptoms or alleviate them, but it’s always there. Ask anybody with depression or anxiety - you can take medication, exercise, go walk in the forest, or whatever other thing people tell you to do, but you’ll have days where that doesn’t work. The depression is still there. It’s a lifelong battle for most of us. You learn to heal from what may of caused it (if anything did), but you never just forget about it. 

So if you had AC where Cloud and Tifa were totally happy and it was roses and sunshine, it wouldn’t make much sense. It would seem that suddenly both of them resolved everything that ever happened to them and it was fine. Which... just isn’t realistic.

Cloud begins to close up because of various things - being reminded of guilt since he blames himself for letting Aerith die, which also reminds him that he thinks its his fault Zack died, then Denzel has geostigma so he becomes obsessive over finding out how to fix that, then he gets it and is like I can’t do this to my family, I’m a failure. And that’s how Cloud has always been, starting with the Mt. Nibel incident... which we know isn’t his fault - they were kids, she slipped, he wanted to save her and couldn’t, but he didn’t push her, he didn’t tell her to go there.

Yet he can’t seem to shake that complex he has. Could it have been really amplified due to how the adults reacted to the Mt. Nibel incident? Yeah, I think so. I think we all have things adults told us when we were kids that never left us. They can cause us to have some of our quirks and insecurities... 

Tifa’s tough love was a huge step for her. She’s non-confrontational and wants to please everyone. The fact that she called him out like that was a huge character moment for her. 

How he reacts to her blowup is also reinforcing what he says to her during the Sephiroth Nibelheim flashback. He legit does listen to her when she speaks up. 

The two of them also aren’t the best at saying what they feel.

As much as we all love this line and it puts us in horny jail thinking of what these two dorks did under the Highwind, this only works sometimes.

Yes, you can express how much you love somebody through actions - and it’s heavily implied above that this was going to be physical since Cloud wasn’t able to tell her how he feels in words. However, when you’re super depressed and giving up on life, leaving tells your wife/gf/life partner that something is wrong, but then it also shuts down the communication. 

I think they took the whole you don’t need to use words thing too far, and the realization of that is when Tifa shows him that tough love in words. It sounds like they were communicating much better after that - especially with how they’re portrayed in DoC. 

Cloud didn’t leave Tifa and the kids because he was unhappy with them. Quite the opposite, which was confirmed by the devs. He left because he felt guilty and like a failure. In his mind dying in front of them was the worst thing he could do to them. So instead of talking to Tifa about it, because he’s not good at that, he just thought he was going to do what was best.

It didn’t mean their relationship was over. Cloud thought he was going to die, so what use was he to them? 

In any case, I think the problem is, we’re used to seeing fairy tale endings for couples. They live happily ever after, the end. FFVII pushed realism in many themes: death and life, mental illness, and real relationships. It would have gone against a lot of that if Cloud and Tifa rode off in to the sunset and never had a problem ever again. So people take the whole thing as if their relationship failed when it was quite the opposite. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #410

“oh baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that i’ma buy her, do you know just what she likes?

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? Ye. Have you ever written/drawn/painted random stuff on your bedroom wall? No. What do you currently hear? A slowed w/ reverb version of "If U Seek Amy" by Britney Spears. Yes, I have a serious thing for these edits of childhood songs, ha ha. Actually, no shame, I still love Britney lmao. What's your favorite flavor of Doritos? Cool Ranch. Do you like bagels? Yep. Do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids? I ain't having any of those, so I don't have to worry about that. Have you ever seen a hippo in person? At a zoo, yes. Are you any good at HTML? Noooo. When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Recently, because I'm awful about downloading things illegally. What was the last thing you downloaded on your computer? A picture. Do you ever cry just to get your way? Hi, I'm 25. I at least have SOME adult traits. Have you ever been to any professional sports games? Yes. What's the most boring sport to watch? The only sport I enjoy watching is dance, so. I think golf has to take the cake for the absolute worst, though. Do you like lip rings on the opposite sex? UGH I just love lip rings on anybody. Do you have good or bad vision? Literally awful. Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren't supposed to? Hell no. That is so fucking inconsiderate and lazy. Have you ever been to a different country? No. When was the last time you finger-painted? Nooo idea. Probably not since I was a little kid. Do you say car-mel or car-A-mel? "Care-uh-mel." When you get out of the shower, do you use one or two towels? One. Are you uncomfortable with changing clothes in front of others? Absolutely yes. Hell, I don't think I ever really changed in front of Jason back in the day, so that says something about how self-conscious I was with a FIT body. Never mind this catastrophe I own now. Which is worse: Runny nose or stuffy nose? Both suck, but stuffy drives me absolutely INSANE. Who's been the most influential person in your life? My mom. Do you have any tan lines? Ha, yeah, no. How many different schools have you gone to? Six. Do you know how to slow dance? I mean, yes? It's not complicated. Have you ever taken The Impossible Quiz? (If not, you should Google it. :D) No, and I'll never waste my time doing that shit. I've watched people play and beat it, but it seems like such frustrating, pointless madness with zero rhyme or reason behind it. Has someone that you liked told you that you are a waste of their time? No. Who is the last person you were in a car with? Mom. In the next 6 months, what are you looking forward to most? Ummmm Christmas, maybe? That's always exciting. Is there anyone who hates you? Probably. Who were you with the last time you went out for food? Mom. If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Eh... I guess if it was for medicinal purposes, I would be okay with it. I'm not keen on dating a smoker of anything. Do you want to start over with anyone? Just Jason, at least sometimes. It'd be really, really nice if we could be friends again and just forget about who we were all those years ago, but I genuinely doubt my ability to be "just friends" with him. Even though I haven't spoken to this dude in over FOUR YEARS, and I'm sure he's changed a lot, just like I have. We might not even be compatible anymore. As much as I may want it, I think it's probably for the better we remain unassociated. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? It's what I eat first. Are you completely over your last relationship? Not "completely," no. I still love her, but I'm in a headspace of accepting that now is not the right time with unfit conditions. What hoodie did you wear last? My Pikachu one, which is the one I pretty much always wear. Do you listen to Incubus? Probably surprisingly, no. I don't know if I've even heard a song. Do you wear flip-flops during the winter? More like always. Do you like the smell of Axe? If you don't use an obnoxious amount, yeah. What do you think of feminists? Absolutely necessary as pilots for change. HOWEVER, I do believe some can take the concept waaaay too far. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Dad, probably. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Oh my god, GUYS. It was my niece's birthday last month, and she did the CUTEST shit. She used to be very, very opposed to getting even slightly dirty (I mean like a speck of dirt on her would make her cry), and this kid decided to just C H O M P into her cupcake and get the frosting ALL over her face. She had two and got so messy, and that angel was just laughing hysterically about it. That girl is such a damn gift. Safe to say she was bouncing off the walls that night. Did you hug one of your parents today? No. Do you tan in the nude? I don't tan, period. Have you ever put a lot of thought and effort into a gift for somebody, only for them to act like it didn’t really matter to them? Oh god, no. That would really, really hurt, because I genuinely do try to be very thoughtful with my gifts. Do you follow the ‘five second rule’ when you drop food on the ground? NOOOOOOO. It's just a bullshit myth. I am NOT eating food that's been on the floor for a millisecond. If you had to describe yourself using a colour, which colour would you be? Maybe like... navy blue? Kinda dark and somber, but also has a calmness to it. Have you ever had to use another person’s toothbrush before? What were the circumstances? I WOULD FUCKING NEVER. Omg that is so gross. Have you ever crashed a car? No. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? I don't want kids, but if I did, absolutely surrounded by nature and animals. Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yeah, I love it there. Damn, now I want some, lol. Have you ever seen a ghost? I sure as fuck saw something. As soon as you find out you are pregnant, who will you first tell? Who says I'm ever going to BE pregnant? 'Cuz it sure isn't in my plans. But hypothetically, the dad. Have you ever won a game of Minesweeper? Like ever? I've never played it. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt. I really should chat with him soon, it's been too long. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? I'd keep it. Make me look more badass. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ What is your hair naturally like? Brown and kinda-sorta wavy. Have you ever stared at a stranger and they said something to you about it? No; I don't stare at people. Is your father very protective of you? I wouldn't say "very protective," no. What would you do if your hero died? ffffffUCK THIS QUESTION HOW ABOUT NO HE'S NOT ALLOWED THAT'S VERY ILLEGAL Where was your first date at with your current lover? I don't have one currently. Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? Depends on how much sleep I got, but I'm generally in my best mood in the morning. Did your parents force you to go to church? Mom did. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It was the next book in the series I'm reading, Wings of Fire. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Hm. I dunno. Hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? Is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? I mean it would really depend on WHY I was breaking up with them, but I guess in most situations I'd try to meet them face-to-face and explain why I wanted to cut things off. I think it'd be important for them to hear my tone of voice, and I think physically meeting somewhere would show that I care enough for them to cut time out of my day to see them and try to hurt them as least as possible, given the situation. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? DO NOT in even a minor way ridicule mental illness or belittle victims as "weak" or pull the "it's just in their head" bullshit. The misuse of the term "retard(ed)" also genuinely offends me. I wouldn't say I'm easy to offend, either. What was the last chore you completed? Changing my cat's litter. When was the last time someone saw you naked? It's been a loooong time, and it would've only been my mom when I was like, going into a shower or something. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? Probably Steve Irwin. I'd go on and on about how his family has carried his legacy so brilliantly, and show him aaaaaall the public pictures of Bindi and Grace, especially. God, that man would be so proud of them all. What is the greatest lost you’ve endured? My first "real" boyfriend. How would you describe your current mood? A mix of tired and anxious. I don't feel like going to bed yet, and the storm we've got passing through has me nervous about tornadoes 'n shit. Do you ever drink or get high alone? I've had some light drinks alone. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? I've never done any illicit drugs, and I don't want to. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? Probably that I've had a pilonidal cyst. It's awkward to explain, but I'll share it anyway if there's a good reason to/I'm asked or something. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? Her just being the most toxic, drama-filled person with the biggest victim complex of any human I've ever met. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Mom, and my voice was raised. Where do you like to be kissed? This depends on how serious we are. Can go from just the cheek to a lot of places. Which season is your least favorite and why? Summer, because it's too goddamn hot and humid. Who, if anyone, do you compare yourself to most? Probably my little sister. She's on such a successful path, and then there's like... me lmao. Do you have a night-light in your bedroom? If so, what does it look like? No. What is your favorite breakfast food? How often do you get to eat it? Cinnamon rollssssss. I have 'em very rarely, though. I'll eat too many of them, which I definitely don't need. What is your favorite thing about autumn? What about your least favorite thing? AHHHHHH EVERYTHING. I love Halloween and the decorations that come with it, the changing leaves, the crisp air... just all of it. :') Who was the last person you asked for help? Mom, I'm sure.

[coldflasher]

For the meta writing asks: 1, 4,11 please!

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Well with it being me I have approx 938382 WIPs haha, so i'll TRY to give a brief outline haha (*note, this did NOT end up being brief at all, a thousand apologies.)

- Hades/Persephone ColdWestAllen fic. Len is Hades, Barry is Persephone, Iris is kiiiinda Demeter in that she represents home and family etc etc. Basically, Barry needs Len's help and makes a deal that he'll spend six months out of the year with Len in the criminal underworld (see what I did there?), paying off his debt, and then the other six months with Team Flash. It's gonna be ColdWestAllen endgame but there's a LOT of angst and mess before they get there >:) Progress on this one is steady, but it's gonna be LONG, I'm estimating at least 250k when all's said and done. As for what I love about it - basically everything? This one is my baby and I love her, mostly cos I've never written coldwestallen before and they're an absolute delight, but also cos it's so angsty and complex! Len and Iris' dynamic is probably my absolute fave part though

- Body Swap Fic - Been working on this one today! Len and Barry are enemies with benefits. They swap bodies during a run-in with a meta and neither particularly wants their friends and family to find out about their, ahem, arrangement, so they agree to just... pretend to be each other until they can figure out how to switch back. Predictably, chaos ensues (Len is a terrible CSI, Barry is an even worse crime boss, it's a whole thing.) I'm not very far into this one, only a few chapters, but I'm obsessed with it :D What I love about this one is that (if I do say so myself) it's really funny. I'm leaning hard into the puns and ridiculousness and it's a real comedy of errors so I'm having a blast!

- Michael Snart Fic - This is a continuation of my super long fic, Aftermath, which was basically a rewrite of s1 but Barry and Len were dating the whole time. This fic is basically my combined rewrite of s5 (which I loved) and 6a (which i did not.) Aka Barry and Len's adopted kid shows up from the future, inadvertently triggers Crisis (which is totally different to how it panned out in the show) and they all have to handle the fallout. This one has kind of stalled - I have every intention of going back to it, I have maybe 20k-ish written, but no progress for a while now. My fave thing about it is probably Len having meltdowns bc he thinks he's a crappy dad but he's actually a surprisingly good one (aside from the fact that he sent a teenager back in time to stop Crisis by himself but we'll just ignore that haha)

- The Vegas Fic. Barry and Len get whammied by a meta and fall in love and immediately become convinced that running off to get married in Vegas is the Best Idea Ever, and Team Flash and the Rogues have to chase them across the country to try and catch them before they tie the knot. When I tell you I've been working on this on and off (mostly off though 😅) since 2017... I wrote the first draft in summer 2017 when i was Very Depressed, so it was BAD. I rewrote maybe 90% of it during first lockdown and that draft was Pretty Good, Actually, but then I... put it aside again and I haven't worked on it since. I just need to pull my finger out cos it's so close to done at this point it's just ridiculous. What do I love about it? Well, the sheer ridiculousness of it, mostly. The ridiculous PDA between Barry and Len. The way the love spell wears off at the worst POSSIBLE moment. The Vegas hijinks. It's just great, honestly

- Len/Savitar One Shot. This one's an AU, kinda like if Doomworld Len and Savitar wound up together. Everyone thinks Savitar is just Len's boy toy and he's the weak link in the Rogues, so they kidnap him to use against Len and discover they have made a terrible mistake... this one's mostly drafted, it's a short one so shouldn't take too long if I really put my mind to it, just needs finishing up.

There's probably more if I were to wrack my brains but I think that's quite enough to be going on with 😂

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Okay, bear in mind that this is unedited and needs cleaning up, but I like it so far! The prose is ~fancy~ haha. I feel like sometimes in my writing you can really see the influence of my degree and it's always nice to see that I got some use out of my 9k a year lmao. This one's from Hades/Persephone!

The change in him was immediate, the sudden stillness. Frozen like one of Len’s icicles. The chill in him only intensified, his unease ramping higher like the music in a horror movie reaching a new crescendo, the scrape of bow against violin string as intense and wrong as bone scraping together. For a moment they were still as a photograph. Then Len realised that Barry wasn’t still at all. He had begun to tremble, not the usual overflow of energy translating into static, but a full-body shiver like an animal trapped in a predator’s view. His expression hunted, not so much the animal caught in the trap but the animal after hours of captivity, with the metal teeth of the trap sunk into skin like a vice, like his skin was the tree growing around a foreign object.

“Run,” Barry croaked.

Len glanced sharply at him. He’d seen Barry happy, angry, upset, in pain, frustrated, even anxious - but he’d never seen him scared. Not this terror. It was the kind of fear that lived in you, a primal thing, like the fear of monsters under the bed. Something lurking in the dark with nowhere to run.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

I mean, everything. This fandom - and other writers in general - are scary talented. But mostly I think I envy anyone who has the ability to focus on one thing at once cos my brain NEVER takes a break. I'm always having new ideas and I want to write ALL OF THEM and consequently nothing ever gets finished.

Thank you :D

Ask me a question about my fics/writing? :D

[ayyyez]

MATCHUPS!! i woke up to see you're doing this now but ive never done this before so im not sure what character i want!! i was going to ask fr a naruto character but i have 7 crushes from there and i could. not. choose so i guess i am asking you to pick for me between bakugo and tamaki (if you dont write tamaki than its fine) okay i am an artist! ish! im in art college and i practice tattooing on the side so i think thats what id do if i were fictional too. so i create a lot. (1/2 long ask here)

Okay but you can easily slot into a relationship with both so I’ll do both eheh because you deserve both okay! Also I know I told you this already but from Naruto, you could totally deal with Tobirama ehe. 

Bakugou Katsuki

First of all he needs someone who doesn’t get phased by yelling have a calm, cool and collected conversation with this mess of a boy. It absolutely frustrates him at first that you can remain calm even if he is the complete opposite. He lacks that control but hey he’s getting better and who better to show him the ropes than you? 

He will need you to call him on his shit. That’s the only way he will grow as a person and in the relationship. And because you can remain calm you can do this in a way that doesn’t belittle his feelings. That would honestly only make him madder and more torn up inside. Loves you for it later on. 

Despite needing to be in control of most aspects of his life, Bakugou needs someone who can take the reins in the relationship, especially when that inferiority complex rears its head. That and the fact that you are low maintenance honestly meshes so well with him.

Speaking of low maintenance, he isn’t the type to want to be around his s/o 24/7 so having someone not overly clingy all the time will make him come to you when he wants/needs too. In fact it can make him the clingy one in many aspects because he is so touch starved he will seek you out to be that warmth for him. 

The creative drives you have and his own creativity will also mesh well. He’s creative when it comes to his quirk, he can appreciate creativity in all forms. Also I hc Bakugou being that guy who looooooves tattoos. Thinks they are the hottest thing ever aha and the fact you are talented enough to design and do them? Big tick in his books. 

If in this scenario you are tattoo artist and not training at UA then it will be a nice breath of fresh air for him. Someone he doesn’t have to compete against and he likes? Wow a chance to actually relax. 

I can see the two of you meeting around college age rather than high school age, simply because younger Bakugou has a one track mind toward being a hero and he kind of opens his eyes to the world a bit later after he has gotten a bit of experience. 

Idk why but I can also see you to meeting by getting into an argument? He starts arguing with you and you just come back at him with logic and no fear that makes him go “Wait who is this person.” That’s what makes you stick in his mind. 

Can see him falling for you first. But he’s oblivious to it. You aren’t since he is not very good at hiding his emotions lol. You have to make him say he likes you tbh (I don’t mean force it out of him but you have to ask questions that lead there) Otherwise he will just come to you one day and yell it at you. Gotta laugh at that.

I think you’d be a overall positive influence on him in terms of coming to understand his feelings and the kind of person he wants to be. In turn he can push you pursue your dreams. All that talk about him becoming the no.1 has got to rub off on you in some way right?

I think learning about you fears makes you feel more real to him. Since you’re usually calm seeing you stress about something like being in inclosed spaces, will give him the opportunity to be the calm one in a situation. Lowkey feels important if he is the only one who knows about it and will also be really considerate about these things. 

Bakugou also likes lowkey dates, especially ones at home so it can be just the two of you. He spends every other moment out in the world, it’s nice for him to unwind with you. 

Kiss him first. Seriously it will annoy him because “I was just about to do that.” And like that you set the tone for the rest of the relationship eheh. He will kiss you back straight away so you two are even.

Overall: I ship it. I said I’d keep this sfw but I will say one last thing based on what you said: dominate that man ahaha. 

Amajiki Tamaki

This sweet boy needs someone confident and calm to guide his way through a relationship at first. His confidence will grow over time and he will be more open and honest but it takes him a little while to get there. You would help him a lot. 

I feel like at first, the two of you would either bond over art or music. I can see him being really into art but also being into metal music. You would be friends before you lead into the dating world. He doesn’t really have anyone who shares his music taste so his eyes light up when he finds out you do. 

Cute moments of just sitting somewhere with Tamaki and sharing an earbud each while you swap recommendations. The best way to get Tamaki talking is through music since he really holds it dear in his heart. It always made him feel less lonely. 

Talking about music naturally helps you lean into talking about art. Give him a drawing of a butterfly (or just any drawing in general) and he will melt. Puts in on his wall in his dorm. Treasures that present forever. Won’t directly ask to see you work at first but you can tell he really enjoys it. He looooves your creativity and it makes him wish he could create something in return to give to you. 

He makes a spotify playlist for you but it takes him months before he even shares it with you. Lmao he keeps talking himself out of it. It’s really sweet to because it’s full of songs he thinks you will like and specifically chose for you. Ah, it’s honestly so sweet. 

Like Bakugou, you gotta call him on his shit. Like every time he falls down a hole of pessimism or self doubt you can’t let it lie. He will learn to get better (obvs his anxiety won’t disappear) but he will learn to cope with it all in a different way. 

Arguing with Tamaki will happen. It won’t be yelling or screaming from either parties but it will be deep and emotional. He hits you with his pessimism and putting him self down (sometimes in a way where he assumes your own opinion or feelings) this is where you hit him with the calm, collected logic. 

I think though, as the two of you grow together you will be able to establish healthy communication about this. Also you can help by using your more dominant role in the relationship to make sure he feels loved. A thriving Tamaki = a thriving relationship. 

I can see the two of you going for a lot of dates in parks, especially in the more secluded areas. Tamaki also appreciates nature dates, specially lowkey ones away from lots of people. He is really awkward in public as it is, let alone on a date. 

You’re the one who initiates things most. Taking him by the hand, kissing his cheek and easing him in. He is nervous about intimacy so he looks to you to guide him. Will eventually initiate things but will relinquish control very easily. 

You went to a butterfly sanctuary one and it was the best decision ever. It made him so happy and almost forget all the anxieties on his mind. Perfect time to snap some cute, happy pics of him (candid of course). 

Learning about your fears will likely come in a deep conversation with him one night. When he is feeling particularly anxious about his own fears you help him by talking about your own. It makes him realise that everyone has doubts and fears, even you which makes him feel a bit better. 

Overall: very cute relationship 10/10. And again, dominate this man lmao.