#i also like don't even think we can move forward without like. making that behaviour unacceptable

[seewetter]

If we take a step back, we can see that fantasy can have a broad definition that includes things like surrealism or a narrower definition in which describing a fantastical setting whose characteristics remain mostly stable throughout the story is expected.

If someone is writing something that is stream-of-consciousness imaginative or highly abstract, dreamlike, then I don't necessarily expect the author to deal with ramifications of the setting (though it's totally possible, and possibly quite interesting, if someone writes about slavery and textiles in a dreamlike or disconnected way!)

If the story is set in a concrete setting, then our discussion gets complicated:

Part of the reason it gets complicated is that fantasy authors are products of their environment. That is to say that some fantasy writers will make things like slavery a topic of their writing even if they don't draw connections to economic specifics if slavery is a topic that matters to them, while other fantasy writers won't address the likely existence of slavery even if the textile industry in their world looks glaringly like something that would be built on a slave economy.

The reality is that the reason writers should do research on questions like these is because it's (a) morally right to do so and (b) people who want to see this topic addressed will appreciate it.

In my experience, the outcome of fantasy writing advice like Tough Guide to Fantasyland, where racism and misogyny are not confronted as ethical issues but instead purely taken issue with as boring stereotypes and cliches leads to people finding feminist ideas or anti-racist ideas "cliche" after a while. And I would say the same applies to describing ethically dubious writing as badly crafted -- it doesn't encourage people to actively think about how to avoid take ethical responsibility in their writing, instead it gives them the impression that certain things are "badly crafted" and then they proceed to mess up elsewhere.

I would also say that the OP (warthogreporter) describes an approach to worldbuilding that I think isn't simply "obsession".

Okay, look: I agree that obsessive worldbuilding, worldbuilding that takes someone years, is an unrelated hobby to writing. Tolkien is admired for it, but most fantasy authors, even the most successful and beloved ones, don't go that route and save themselves a lot of trouble and a lot of wasted time.

But warthogreporter is describing something more fundamental: to construct an entertaining story, I mainly need to have a few ideas that excite me enough that I'm willing to write about them. To what degree do these ideas need fleshing out? Well, I wouldn't think in degrees, I would think about specific outcomes: is your climactic finale interesting and does it have something to say? Do your characters tie into this fantasy you have of your world -- do they have goals that fit this environment? And do you have some good ideas (or some intriguing language or details) to sell specific events that happen as your story picks up steam? If this is a story with lots of magic battles, it makes sense to figure out how to keep the magic interesting: who or what (creature or circumstance or physical/metaphysical limitation) prevents magic from instantly ending a magic battle? What strategies do the participants in these battles have to think about? Are there things they can run out of throughout the battle?

I say this because the finale is going to leave a final and lasting impression, the goals are what allows a story to move forward (because people without goals tend to be passive, while people with goals tend to do stuff) and events are what keeps things interesting throughout.

Additionally, you can obviously come up with other fun ideas and pepper them throughout. Maybe you love languages so you're going to design vocabularies or writing systems. Maybe you love beasts so you come up with new creatures and creative behaviours.

But a lot of fantasy writers don't think much about how their finale or character goals or events work and instead prefer to think of their fantasy world as a sort of simulation that runs in the background. They don't have languages because they love languages, they have languages because it's "the thing to do". They don't spend time on geography because this is a story about climbing dangerous mountains, they spend time on geography because "it has to work". It doesn't matter if they're obsessed with it or spend much time on it, their fundamental understanding of why things may matter misses the mark.

When I was young, I played a game called Guild Wars Prophecies. I loved the worldbuilding, for reasons I misunderstood. For example: I thought that this world was better than, say, World of Warcraft, because "it has two dwarven factions instead of one" and that this made the world more fleshed out than a single dwarven faction. But this is nonsense: what I was reacting to was that this is a game where your character, recently having become a refugee and escaping horrific disaster is crossing dwarven lands to get to a southern country -- but crossing the dwarf territories is deeply difficult, because the dwarves are in a civil war, North versus South, on the issue of slavery (the north is against slavery and tries to protect you and other refugees from the slavers). In other words, the worldbuilding works not because it is innovative or detailed or realistic or fleshed out (I think you can guess which civil war they shamelessly used for parts in their story) but instead, because the game placed the audience into the mind of a character trying to flee a country to get to freedom and confronts that character with slavers who could take that freedom away...and forces that character to move ever-closer to slaver territory to leave all the horrors behind. The dwarves are interesting because they impact character (and player) goals and because events are taking place...the dwarves aren't just showing you their dead, abandoned mine filled with goblins and they aren't just showing you their flintlock weapons or whatever else dwarves often do. They are at war, and this big event generates countless side quests, where the anti-slaver dwarves hire you for scouting or sabotage jobs or rescue missions.

A lot of worldbuilding advice for TTRPGs like D&D has to include "geography, agriculture, economics, or any other logistics" because the players are trying to understand where they are and where they can go and how long it will take (local geography), need to know the basic lingo to do trade with NPCs, like what is the currency called (economics) and what is on the menu in the tavern, what can we order (agriculture) and other logistics questions (what hierarchies are there in this society, what customs and religious and arcane lore must we know).

Now obviously this goes off the rails quickly as people start suggesting figuring out how bread is made in this society instead of relying on cliches to focus on the main things your game (or story) needs to tackle. If your story is about breadmaking or you want to try some interesting ideas so you look into some stuff, great. But a lot of people seem to think that this will make or break the high bar of quality they want for their story/game/world. They don't realize that describing breadmaking (or ricecakemaking) in detail is like describing all the leaves on a tree so that you have described the tree well. Tolkien, of course, had worldbuilding notes on all leaves in Fangorn forest... No, he didn't.

I say this as someone who wants to see more fantasy worlds with excessively large pantheons and fantasy worlds bursting with weird details. I say this as someone who isn't trying to sell people on a lack of creativity or a stale world. Also I can appreciate that some people put their geography or physics degrees to use to flesh out fantasy worlds in really compelling ways. Like of course I want to read about the story where magic portals being common means that foreign threats can come from within the borders of a country so the big empire has little independent countries within its borders that act as politically neutral buffer states. But that doesn't mean I would appreciate it if fantasy authors got criticized for having portals but ignoring this "reality".

As mentioned above, when it comes to issues of ethics, that's a whole different question. There, criticism is more than fair, but it just isn't necessarily criticism about "lacking research skills" and instead criticism of a lacking engagement with the kind of historic responsibility that underlies not only the act of writing as a real-world activity, but also just being a human being and doing the right thing.

My stance is that if you're a young and/or beginner fantasy writer, you need to stay far away from online fantasy discourse because it will get you obsessing over shit that does not actually matter to anyone other than online nitpickers.

If someone can't read one of the foundational works of fantasy about the importance of seemingly insignificant persons because the map has unrealistic geography, that's actually a them problem. You don't need to research geography, agriculture, economics, or any other logistics so that everything is realistic, you need to tell a story.

[josy-woodhouse]

I want in on talking about Annabel and Prospero.

Since most posts I've seen are about how nice it is to watch them being healthy for one another (it really is, I adore their dynamic) I decided to talk about how neither of them would hesitate to kill one another eventually.

First of all both Annabel Lee and Prospero are calculative people. Both of them care for only the outcome and how to get there. I have seen people call Annabel a hypocrite for protecting Prospero because he's important to her after what she did to Duke and I entirely disagree, more on the rescue from Ada later. We have established that Annabel really doesn't care that everyone in the academy (except one, if the Deans can be trusted) is doomed.

I don't think Annabel's general willingness to sacrifice people needs to be discussed.

Now, I'm leaning a bit far out the window here, but take a good look at Prospero in the left picture above, he looks more frustrated than anything. His chances just got a lot worse, he needs to rethink his strategy and on top of all that Ada is invading his personal space again.

Moving forward to what I think makes their mutual betrayal inevitable, the episodes after the Mansion Arc (this is were it gets interesting):

Until now we have seen Prospero mostly be mildly bothered by whatever is happening. When everything fell apart during the Lesson and everyone except for him apperently just did not do their job, he seemed like he was about to explode and seriously questioning his choice of team. Everyone else appeared to just want to go on with the day, Prospero however demanded answers, proving that he cares to win this entire game without getting side tracked.

Further his behaviour during the lesson shows that he actually doesn't get how anyone else would still be reluctant to kill their friends here. He was genuinely not expecting anyone to act out of empathy anymore.

And after the widow's watch affair and him witnessing Annabel freaking out after the labyrinth and smoothly asking about Pluto instead of giving an explanation, he is surely just one big-ish failure or unwillingness to take action away from openly confronting Annabel how it can be that whenever she is alone with Lenore, things go south ways, how whenever people want to act against Lenore, she calls it a waste of time despite the growingly obvious threat that Lenore poses.

I think Annabel actually does matter to him, and I think he matters to Annabel as well, but both of them expect something really specific from one another and sympathy alone means little to them.

Now about Annabel saving Prospero.

I believe this says everything:

Since Annabel is a chess player, get ready for chess metaphors:

In chess, most gambits are about giving away a pawn. Why? Because a pawn has very little value on its own and sacrificing a pawn in order to get a slightly more profitable structure on the board can actually be worth it.

Sacrificing a queen? If you do something like that, you better be 100% sure you're seeing a forced checkmate.

Not only is Prospero's spector really powerful, Prospero is also the only thing keeping Annabel in control of her own team right now. Other than Prospero who's supporting her as long as she keeps bringing results, she is stuck with Ada who is a complete wild card and useless most of the time, Morella who is only half on her team, Will who is loyal mostly to Montresor and Montresor who constantly challenges her leadership.

The way things are standing right now, everything she has build would fall apart the very moment Prospero is gone.

Also, what if Annabel and Lenore have to stay long enough for their teams to start falling apart? Whom does Annabel want to face in a one on one? Someone like Montresor who's spector can very much use brute force against her or someone like Prospero who's spector is similarly unforceful as hers?

We even saw, that Annabel can just simply neutralise Prospero's rats with her fog, leaving him with no real attack on her. While he applies her with status conditions she can use her blossoms to attack him after she used her fog to make his rats disappear like she did on the widow's watch

Annabel did not safe him because she likes him, which she does. She saved him because he is a very important piece for her game and no real threat to her in the long run.

Prospero follows Annabel not because he likes her, which he does, but because she keeps bringing results. Or at least she did until rather recently.

[treason-and-plot]

REPLIES TO ROY'S SULKING

@thickness1988

Anya I think it time to leave if you don’t want to deal with this for the rest of your life

Yes, but she should take the trip to Paris first!😁

@wannabecatwriter

Never thought Anya would be the first woman to properly call this guy out like this.

She has her tipping point, and Roy just activated it! I think the situation with her father has also made her a lot more intolerant of men's erm, disappointing behaviour.

@justanothersimsblog

Anya, I like you, but I kinda want to suggest you go and enjoy Paris regardless

I couldn't agree more! Although the fact that she doesn't care that she might be risking her trip does show that she has very strong principles. If it was me I'd be waiting until I got on the plane to rip him a new one!😄

@kscriba

I second this lol Also so she and Mia can have a crossover ;)

@gittessimsadventuresog

ooh yes just a solo girls trip

That would be so tempting, but she really does love him despite his flaws and was so looking forward to going to the concert with him and holidaying together in the romance capital of the world. He just pushed her that little bit too far when they were in the VIP lounge and she lost her temper. I don't think Roy even realised she had a temper prior to this!

@pixeldistractions

I think Anya is answering all of her own questions already.

Yeah, Roy can continue to sulk, it's unlikely he'd have anything of value to contribute to the conversation any way!😄

@batsheba

And he handles it like any manchild would, LOL, by sulking and passive aggression.... seriously Roy!

Sulking and passive aggression would tip me over the edge...I'd much prefer confrontation and active aggression, lol!

@parystrange

Girl, just collect your luggage and leave! Got to paris yourself or go home. Don't pander to his bullshit.

@zosa95

Manbaby, indeed! I’d get on the plane with or without him lol

@parystrange and @zosa95 I know that would be the most sensible thing to do but tragically I think she'd feel too guilty to fly to Paris without him. She'd feel as if she was taking advantage of him, or that she was acting like a gold digger. And despite his infuriating behaviour, she still loves him. She doesn't want to go to Paris by herself.

@muses-circle

Roy is already good at making a fool of himself in public, Anya. No need to make it worse. Might want to consider walking away if he refuses to talk, though.

@gittessimsadventuresog

manbaby alert

@sweetnovember77

"Can we discuss ways to resolve this?” should have been the initial proposal instead of launching insults. You can't speak to people in that manner in real life and anticipate their cooperation. I hope Roy’s pride isn’t too damaged, but everything occurs for a purpose. Perhaps Anya should confront her disappointment in her father. I believe that concern is causing her patience to dwindle.

That's a very perspicacious comment regarding Anya's father. Her tolerance of BS and problematic behaviour is at an all-time low thanks to the recent revelations, and she would not have been getting much sleep lately either which would have further eroded her patience. However I think she was totally fair to criticise Roy for missing the plane and for being so blase about the whole situation even if her delivery may have been a little...harsh. But on the other hand, there are many who have applauded her for her take no prisoners approach!

@greywardenconsort

Isn't this Roy's vacation too? Was he being a dunderhead? Yes but he was having a laugh & a drink with a friend and Anya's traveled before, she knows how to see when the plane is boarding or go ask anyway. Is she HIS partner in this adventure just a passenger princess? How about an "oh hey honey we need to get to the gate or we'll miss our flight. Johno so nice to meet you I hope to see you again when we aren't so pressed for time. Let's get a move on honey" Like an adult.

Until recently poor Anya was labouring under the misapprehension that a successful, wealthy professional who was twelve years her senior would also be someone who was responsible, mature, and level-headed. Roy can definitely be all those things in the boardroom, but in his personal life he all too often lets his party animal trait rule, particularly when he is in holiday mode as he is here! Interestingly Anya doesn't seem to mind too much about his immaturity or lack of responsibility when he's sharing drugs with her and nightclubbing till 9 in the morning, so I think her judgment of Roy at the airport could definitely be viewed as being a little bit hypocritical. Yes, it's true she could also have taken on the full responsibility of ensuring they didn't miss their flight, but that is not a sexy power dynamic and I don't blame her for wanting to avoid being the 'take charge' person in the relationship, although it's becoming more and more apparent that in many situations she's going to have to take on that role. Anyway, when she asked Roy whether they should be making their way to the gate but he brushed off her concerns and told her that the plane wouldn't leave without them and that an announcement would be made on the VIP Lounge's PA system. It was her first time visiting a VIP lounge, and she made the fatal error of trusting Roy's word. I don't blame her for being angry with him for telling her fibs.

@sweetnovember77

THIS! Anya's behavior was entirely unacceptable. Roy deserves an apology.

@coreene-simblr

She told him that they should be going to the Gate. Roy insisted they were going to announce it in the lounge...

Absolutely! And she had never been inside a VIP lounge before, whereas Roy was a seasoned visitor. She believed him when he said the plane wouldn't leave without them and that an announcement would be made. Why shouldn't she? And when it turned out that he was fibbing/ talking out his arse, she was understandably angry.

@greywardenconsort

@coreene-simblr Airlines have apps that will update you on the flight status. I would expect someone travel savvy like Anya (She & Roy reconnected in an airport) would know that. I know if I was traveling with a partner I would have that and know our flight number and gate and departure time. So I don't think that Roy not knowing gets her off the hook for her part in this kerfuffle.

Good points, but again she trusted Roy when he said that the plane wouldn't leave without them etc and as mentioned previously she also thought she could trust him to be responsible and take the lead. Obviously she made an error of judgement, and this is probably one of the reasons it's often said that you never really know someone until you travel with them!

@nectar-cellar

i love all the extras you cast for these crowded public scenes

Thank you! I have a lot of fun dressing them and posing them. It's time-consuming but rewarding. And the fact that you love them makes it even more so!

@coreene-simblr

Sulking and not talking is definitely something an adult would do Roy xD can't be too mad at Anya for not leaving as someone who gives idiots way too many chances, so I get it.

And she still loves him, even if the scales are slowly falling from her eyes! This is the first fight real they've had, and while it's unfortunate it had to happen on the way to what should have been the most romantic trip of their lives, maybe it could signal a promising new chapter in their relationship...one that's more honest, empathetic, and not burdened with unrealistic expectations.

[whinlatter]

In Beasts the idea of Harry buying all of these items for the house he would live in with Ginny is on one hand super sweet because it shows he takes the relationship seriously and on the other hand super irritating because why does he assume he gets to choose all that shit himself without even asking Ginny or without even asking her if she wants to move in?? It's the fact that Harry is making decisions for them by himself and assuming she'd be cool with it. I don't like that tbh. It's like when Harry realizes he has feelings for her in HBP and instead of wondering if she's moved on or if she would even still like him, he worries instead about Ron's reaction. ????? I lowkey feel like Harry should have felt really miserable that Ginny had moved on and liked Dean more than him. But it's like he is arrogant about her feelings for him or something. He doesn't even question it. I can't decide if that's cute or annoying lmao. Like I am not sure if this is Harry truly understanding Ginny and knowing her tastes ("Yes she'd love these egg cups!" "Dean doesn't make her laugh like that! She must still like me we get on so well!") or if its just Harry being a self-absorbed dumbass (SHOULDN'T HE THINK ABOUT HER FEELINGS IN BOTH SITUATIONS!!!!). Like I am over here as a staunch Hinny shipper thinking... "What if Ginny wanted different egg cups, Harry?!" Now she has to pretend she likes your ugly egg cups because if she wants different egg cups it might cause a fight cuz you'd act like a little bitch about it? Am I thinking about this too much?? TL:DR can Harry be normal about something for two seconds or is that not possible. I want Ginny to have a wonderful, caring boyfriend that thinks about WHAT SHE WANTS.

ahh i see where you’re coming from, anon, but i will defend harry and his egg cups a bit here.

there’s no denying that harry is a bit selfish in his relationship and asks of ginny in canon. there’s arguably some necessity to this - the plot demands it - and it reflects something of who harry is and the coping/survival mechanisms he’s developed by the series end. it’s the reason i’ve written his arc in beasts as him having to face up to what he’s asked of ginny, as he discusses this in his letter to her in the next chapter. his arc is him grappling with a loss of identity after the war, trying to look towards building a future he never thought he’d have, and finding out that a big part of that is learning to be on a team with ginny after a long time demonstrating some understandable, but not excusable trauma response behaviours where he hasn’t always treated her as an equal.

which is where the egg cups come in. they (and other assorted crockery) represent harry, at a particular lost moment after the war unclear what he’s for, trying to self soothe by imagining the familial domestic stability he has always craved and buying a little token of that aspiration he can have by him to keep him going. it’s supposed to be a sad sweet (slightly pathetic) image. but there’s no malice in it, just a very lost lad who has gone through a lot doing his best to try and have things to look forward to that might make him happy, like having some dippy eggs and toast with our girl.

i will also reassure you that, should ginny dislike the egg cups, i have no doubt that hjp would bend over backwards/drop serious galleons to source her the egg cups of her dreams.

[graveyard-galaxy]

Hello graveyard! you think the burial ending, despite them not addressing their past issues, will involve them reconciling for their past behaviors and moving on without further toxicity towards each other?

I'm not nearly as confident about the future of Burial as the rest of Decay, just by virtue of it having not even started yet, however! I think that if Burial has multiple endings like Decay, we will certainly see some (likely multiple) 'bad' endings/dead states. But as for a more reconciliation ending?

To say with much certainty, I'd want to see if Decay has one, but given that we're closer to that with the Cliffhanger than Shots and Such, I wouldn't discount it. My hang-ups about it are simply that a lot of what's been implied about Burial hasn't been... quite as cheerful as I think a lot of us were expecting.

Nemlei has stated in the devlog that just burying your problems is liable to make them worse, and there has also been added text to episode 2 now to show that the rift between them has not been quite as closed in Burial as we'd previously thought (Ashley apparently trusts the trinket and its ability to save her more so than she does plainly Andrew) and we have dialogue by the romance door explicitely telling us that it won't go the way we expect. Honestly, I'd likely be a little more comfortable considering where some if these changes will take Decay, given the Entity's vision of Andrew burning the trinket, however, I shall endeavour to do my best anyway!

I suspect that "without further toxicity" is just too great an ask if they're not addressing any of their issues. I absolutely do think it's worth remembering that whilst some of Burial's end of episode 2 dialogue is much more friendly, it also shares a decent amount of it with Decay, where Andrew is still on edge and a bit snappy. He's not cold or detached in the same way, but just because he's not pissed off in general doesn't mean he can't still get annoyed at Ashley, you know?

Now, clearly some of their issues will be addressed, else how else will we get what (appears to be) Andrew and Ashley having sex and seemingly both enjoying it? (note, due to the nature of visions, this is liable to never even come true, but come on. I sincerely doubt we'll not get any furtherment of their relationship in Burial, romantic or sexual) We know very well from Shots and Such (and some Cliffhanger flashbacks too) that Ashley has large hang-ups about sex, and especially about letting herself enjoy it, and we also know that Andrew is very firmly in camp "make it look like an accident or it won't happen at all" until Ashley forces it, and he can't see her as enough of her own person to actually rightfully blame her.

I just think that any reconciliation for past behaviours in Burial are perhaps more likely to be *sweeps under the rug and pretends it doesn't matter anymore*. In a worst case, I see a Shots and Such type ending, except where one or neither are willing to acknowledge that what's going on is truly miserable, and in a best case... Perhaps they really are forced to deal with their respective issues towards having sex with each other, and we get the rare 'consensual and enjoyable sex in tcoaal' achievement, but that seems like something possible by just looking forward. A lot of it requires Ashley to grow up, but perhaps not to actually consider why she never really grew up in the first place. If we get a happier tone of ending, I do honestly still expect it to be a bit toxic...

I think that perhaps they'll take the Nina approach to dealing with past issues: if you don't think about something for a really long time, you won't even remember it. Well, I don't know how well that will work for Andrew... But if Ashley comes to accept Andrew acting differently to how she expects, not needing her to comfort him, it really might be that this is the catalyst to growing up without addressing the past. If Andrew and Ashley can actually be fun to her, like she eludes to the night as teens that Andrew firmly rejects her we see in the Cliffhanger, it won't be about the push and pull of Andy and Leyley, and she will seem to have made development, just without much actual self-reflection. Like a lot of things with her, that would be Andrew-focused.

And it's hard to imagine that Andrew would be as comfortable with that as her, given how there are a lot of past incidents that Ashley is extremely flippant towards that bother him a lot. But then again, we can kind of see Andrew being pushed into the direction of closer to Ashley without reflection in how because he thinks that Ashley trusted him to leave him with their parents, he didn't bother having to panic about it all. He wasn't mourning himself like he was in Decay, when he cuts up his parents, and thus fairly inadvertently, he's become closer to what Ashley wants without her really understanding why.

If the conflict in Burial is primarily about their new changes in behaviour, specifically with Ashley's fear of how Andrew's seemingly changing, and then perhaps Andrew's push-back to that, then they really are just leaving the past behind without bothering to dig up the ugly parts which are actually informing their behaviours and conflicts now. Perhaps it will be less surface-level toxic. But this is Andrew and Ashley; with how far they've gotten now, I do think it would take MOUNTAINS of change to truly remove the root of toxicity that neither wish to address in Burial. And it's Andrew and Ashley, so even if they do reconcile, they'll probably find a way to keep fighting anyway.

[kiryoutann]

so far the mc has been pretty shitty to imo- stalking, attempted baby trapping (yes I know she has trauma but that doesn't excuse the behaviour). I am wondering how are you gonna make her grow from that. I do think this behaviour needs to be addressed, if the mc is going to end up with Simon, is it gonna be one of those cases where they are both bad people and deserve each other (I know they aren't purposely bad but actions speak louder than words) or are they both going to make each other a better person? I was just wondering that idk why lolz

"she has trauma but that doesn't excuse the behavior" is SOOO TRUE. thank u for saying this.

i understand and aware that mental illness affects someone's personality and behavior, but it doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole/exempt you from accountability. you did smth and you apologize and explain everything, but also don't expect the other person to UNDERSTAND/accept your apology. while it's important for everyone to be compassionate towards people dealing with mental health challenges, doesn't mean they're obligated to forgive and forget your hurtful behavior.

now, to the question...

THE PRESSURE IS REAL. i honestly still have no idea how her character growth is going to be- and NOW that you've said this, i'm not even sure if my original plan for her was GROWTH or just a result of this series.

because to be realistic, if i were her (whom by the way, we acknowledged she's just as bad or worse i dunno) and i got to reunite 2-3 years later (did I mention when they're going to meet before this ask?? I FORGOT. THIS is how unformed the sequel is guys) with the person who broke my heart (regardless of why and the circumstances, they still broke it right), i'd still have this bitterness in me that makes me this shitty person roaming the earth (omg is she gonna be her mother..)

or maybe you're right. maybe it's going to be one of those cases where they are both horrible people and they're MEANT to be (or maybe that's why they're meant to be). or maybe it's going to be a story where well,, it's not really considered character growth for both simon and her, but it's a process of them accepting what kind of person they are (since i feel like this current series is mostly about simon trying to avoid the person he is - always painting himself in the bad light, as someone who isn't worthy of love and the softer side of life, while the reader is trying soo hard to prove that she isn't like her mother, that she's lovable to the point where she FORCES EVERYTHING to go her way) and to know each other better without "veil"/hiding anymore. then, they can move forward.

cause i think for someone to grow, you gotta acknowledge the person you are in the present, then from there you can try and be a better person. i hope this makes any sense lmao cause i'm just typing everything in my mind.

if someone has their thoughts/suggestions for the sequel, i'd be happy to hear them. just submit it to my inbox ^^!! know that some may not be implemented in the sequel, but all is equally appreciated!

also thanks so much for the ask anon!!! this was a good question<33 have a great day!

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, June 17th, 2025.

Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? My dad and I played Pokemon Go for a little while in 2016. We would mainly visit the riverwalk and university. I don't recall what level I topped out at before we quit playing.

Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I typically wear a beanie when we go grocery shopping early in the AM. One, because it's chilly; two, because I don't feel like having my messy bedhead on display or fixing it up to make it presentable. I don't tend to wear sunglasses inside.

Are you putting off doing something right now? If so, what is it? I'm not putting off doing anything, but I will probably clean the kitchen later and get another trash bag's worth of junk out of the master bathroom and closet area. It's relatively easy to fill a bag right now, but I'm anticipating the "excavation phase" when it becomes more like an archaeological dig and I spend more time marveling at and pondering over the things I find than actually throwing anything away.

What’s the most daring thing you have ever done? Right now, the most daring thing feels like choosing to live and choosing to try even though my future feels so uncertain. It also holds overwhelmingly devastating certainties, such as losing my dad. I really don't want to face life without him, but going forward means that will inevitably be the case one day.

Do you know how to read animals’ behaviour? I am fairly good at reading cat behavior. I'm not super familiar with dogs or any other animals.

What would be something that made you think less of a person you just met?

Are you like me and hoard notebooks and pens? I used to enjoy buying journals that I would never fill, but not so much anymore. I've developed restraint. :')

Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Past me was a relatively casual gamer. I played a few things, sometimes even obsessively, but I'm not much of a gamer now.

Are you sitting in front of or by a window? What can you see out there? I'm not sitting directly by a window, but there is one across the room. I can see trees (which have grown up enormously since we first moved here), houses, vehicles, the street, the sunny sky, etc.

Are there any coasters on your table? If so, do they have text or pictures? There is a square coaster with a bunch of kitties on it.

Have you ever sewn a garment? I know I sewed something in Home Ec, but I can't remember what it was… I've also made clothing for stuffed animals, etc.

Why do you take surveys on Bzoink? I normally say it's just a form of journaling, but there's more to it than that, and I think I just figured out how to articulate another component. It's like parallel play, except parallel self-expression. I don't have to directly talk to anyone, they don't have to directly talk to me, but we can still kind of get to know each other. Not quite shouting into the void, not quite knowing who will or will not read, who will or will not care, but there's still this possibility of at least some form of connection and community.

Do you have a song playing in your head right now, too? I don't.

Do you ever dance to the song playing in your head? Sometimes.

How are you environmentally friendly? Or do you just not care? It's one of those things where I do care, but I don't necessarily make much of an effort.

Back in 2004, were you into that The Sims story craze? Not sure what The Sims story craze entails. I was never all that into The Sims games.

How long have you had an online presence for? I guess since I was around 10 years old? Maybe a little bit younger? In the form of Headbone, which was an online chat program for kids, as well as the Nickelodeon forums, and Starcraft. Later on, I got into sites like Myspace, Xanga, Vampire Freaks, etc.

Don’t you hate it when people answer to surveys with one word answers? Naw. That doesn't really bother me. It might be less interesting to read and take longer to reveal someone's personality, preferences, and opinions, but people can answer surveys however they wish. Maybe they just don't have a lot to say, maybe writing detailed answers to prompts isn't their cup of tea, maybe they're taking the survey as a "mindless" way to decompress or whatever, idk. Like, I can kind of see the appeal - just going into autopilot and quickly answering without overthinking or lingering too long. Me, though…I usually gotta YAP.

When paying for things, do you prefer NFC payments or cash? I don't know what NFC means, but I use a mix of my debit card and cash.

Isn’t it cool how we can google anything, anywhere we are, in seconds? Yeah.

Or do you just never google anything and just ask others to do it for you? Sometimes I will ask questions that I could just Google, but not exclusively.

If you got a chance to go to space, would you? I wish I could just be in space by the power of a magical protective bubble or something, but I don't think I would enjoy suiting up and traveling on a spaceship.

Ever watched a cat or a dog sleep and run/twitch in their sleep? I have.

Have you ever had an “adults’ toy”? If so, how often do/did you use it?

Do you read erotic stories or watch porn? (No, 50 Shades doesn’t count)

Do you do your own nails or do you pay for someone to do them? Neither. I've never had my nails professionally done, and I haven't painted them on my own for years.

Are there any plants in the room you’re in? There are dried flowers and such, but there are no living plants.

Have you ever cold brewed tea or coffee? My mom made sun tea when I was a kid, which I guess is a similar concept, except not cold.

What’s something we do every day but they don’t depict in movies? I feel like everything is depicted to some extent. Maybe not in every movie, but in movies in general. Showering, brushing your teeth, going to the bathroom, sleeping, eating, sitting in traffic, talking on the phone, staring into space or just thinking, etc.

Do you enjoy travelling? Not really. Car rides, plane trips, etc - not my thing. Just like the magical space bubble I mentioned above, I would much rather just be somewhere.

Where’s the most beautiful place you’ve been to so far? Probably beaches, the woods in PA + NY, and the mountains of Colorado.

What’s something cool about the city/town you live in? There are a lot of murals downtown.

Which body part do you think you touch the most throughout the day? Probably my hands, like one hand touching the other, or my arms, my face + head.

What’s your highest level of education? I'm not sure how to quantify that. I dropped out of high school in my "senior" year, but I don't think I had enough credits to technically qualify as a senior. I also experienced a couple of messy semesters at community college.

If you were to open a business, what kind of business would it be? A minding ur own business.

What’s the most important thing in any kind of relationship? For me, trust, feeling as though I can be honest and open, a sense of ease in their presence, some similar interests, etc.

What do you do when you have an itch in a spot you can’t reach? Try to scratch it on something else.

If you wear lipstick, what’s your favourite colour to wear?

Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? I guess it's mostly just baggy androgynous? Not very feminine, not very masculine.

Do you usually carry a backpack, a shoulder bag or something else? I take a backpack with me to the animal shelter and the mountain park, but I take a smaller black bag to therapy and various other outings. I don't take a bag when I go grocery shopping (except for reusable bags for the groceries).

Have you ever made your own jewelry? If so, what have you made? I have.

Do you wear glasses? Pretty much only while driving.

If so, have you ever tried to fix them when they’ve broken?

Have you ever made a friend online who lives in another country? More like acquaintances than close friends.

Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? No, but I saw one the other day when my dad and I went out to eat, buzzing around a nearby window.

Have you ever seen two dragonflies mating? I think so.

What smell brings back a memory for you? Bug spray, sunscreen, pool water, concession stands, campfire smoke, certain body sprays, incense, the crisp cold air on snowy days, pine, the dusty smell when it starts to rain, wildflowers, bbqs, a freshly mowed lawn, etc.

What’s the best foreign film (and not made in Hollywood) that you’ve seen? Idk.

What’s a song you just can’t stand? Eh.

In your ideal profession, would you need a work uniform? We don't really have a strict uniform code at the animal shelter. Just shirts, hoodies, jackets and such with the shelter logos.

[shysquiggles]

Hi there! Why do you think Aziraphale said "I forgive you" right after their kiss ended? Do you think he was referring to the very act of kissing, i.e. forgiving Crowley for kissing him without his consent? Or did it include a more general conotation, forgiving him for what he said, his general thoughts and behaviour?

Okay, there's a lot to ramble about here, and I think its a ramble because I'm not 100% sold on my own thinking. There's a lot of ways to interpret it (one laying into Aziraphale trying to tap into thje fact that Crowley believes he is 'unforgivable' and so using this to try and resolve things) but I do think it could go another way:

Considering this isn't the first time Aziraphale has used "I forgive you" to respond to Crowley, I'm sure it's basically these gays don't know how to communicate (again).

One of Aziraphale's issues is that, while he is very good at forgiving. he really isn't good at resolving personal emotional conflict. I don't mean all conflict -when there's an issue that the two of them are working to solve together (The apocalypse, Gabriel turning up at the bookshop), they work brilliantly. But the conflict I mean is talking about personal disagreements.

When you are faced with a disagreement from a person you care about, its good to talk things out and try to get both of your feelings on the table. You talk, and then you search for a compromise and a resolution. And at times, for a lot of relationships, things can be said that hurt. It takes time to figure things out, and it can take moments of needing to think. But, you do have to face the bumps in order to move forward and to avoid your relationship from falling apart

Here are the two situations that lead to "I forgive you".

The first season, Crowley was exasperated trying to convince Aziraphale to go with him to Alpha Centauri, but still holding his connections to heaven Aziraphale rejects it. Crowley says, "you're so clever, how can someone so clever be so stupid."

The second season, the two of them couldn't reach a compromised solution and, in a clearly agonised overly emotional kiss (truly trying to express everything going on in his head and heart) Crowley is, once again, making an attempt to convince Aziraphale to stay with him. Before that kiss, Crowley said, "you idiot. We could have been 'us'". He also, fully outright rejected the idea of them going to heaven together.

The two of them, despite regular teasing, hold a high opinion of the other. They are a little unit, and they do have each others backs. They protect one another. Receiving an insult (a genuine comment that hurts or something that may feel like an emotionally-driven act) from a person you hold that dear can really hurt.

Crowley used the words "idiot" and "stupid". Plus, clearly, that kiss left Aziraphale in a state of shock and overwhelm. There were a LOT of emotions coarsing through him at that moment, and you can see him trying desperately to work his way through them as quickly as possible. Ideally, they would give each other time to figure things out. This is the most confrontation they've possibly ever had with one another and it's a lot to process. It's also terrifying that the person you care for most in this world can cause such high amounts of emotion.

But even with all those conflicting feelings, there's one thing that Aziraphale is good at: forgiveness. Even when he thought Crowley was about to kill Job's kids, he said 'may God forgive you'. It's how he handles those bigger emotions. How he handles shame, or guilt, or how he handles a strong difference of opinion

Another way to look at Aziraphale's choice to give Crowley forgiveness in this scenario, is like when someone uses the word "sorry" all the time to fix a conflict or an argument. It's used to swiftly resolve the issue and try to get your relationship back on good terms. But, with time, if the issues don't get resolved or addressed, those sorry's soon lose their meaning and you struggle to forgive and forget. You don't fully address the issue, and you're left still feeling irritated and unsatisfied. Eventually, you probably give up.

Have you ever heard the phrase "sometimes sorry isn't good enough"? Well, maybe the same could be said for forgiveness. Sometimes forgive and forget leaves you stagnant in your situation. And I think that Crowley has heard forgiveness from Aziraphale over and over and over. He's given out his fair share of sorry's, and it's been met with forgiveness. But so has everyone else -he even seems to have forgiven Gabriel who was emotionally abusive to the next level. Aziraphale's forgiveness, being offered to everyone, has less meaning now. Even if, in this last occasion, it meant so much more than the others.

It takes a strong heart to forgive in the heat of the moment, and I'm more than certain it was said out of that. To forgive, despite feeling so much pain and strong emotions from Crowley's actions, is a real show of heart courage and strength. And I do think that this 'forgiveness 'does mean so much more than the others (e.g. compared to Maggie's rent). But from Crowley's pov, it may be hard to see that.

For many of us, the default of wanting to patch it up and make it better is "sorry". For Aziraphale, it's the other end of it: forgiveness. But offering forgiveness after a heated moment like that kiss, rather than talking about it, is stubbornly separating yourself from the conflict, not resolving it.

I'm convinced that Aziraphale didn't want that to make Crowley leave. The little 'no' he mouth's as Crowley walks out clearly means he wanted the other to stay, that he didn't want them to separate. But Crowley doesn't want forgiveness. And like saying sorry, all that saying "I forgive you" did is just end the discussion.

Or I don't know, maybe he was just forgiving him for them breaking up idk my brain hurts from this show I swear

[jazlynriddle-legacy]

Welcome to your life - Pt 2:

Acting On Your Best Behaviour Ch 12:

Summary:

They'd seen it in their fellow orphans often enough to recognise the pattern and were now forced to admit, despite their hopes to the contrary, that Isidora had likely suffered similar side effects.

No… they'd always known she had. The Keeper had just wanted the power that Ranrok had, enough to convince themselves that they would be able to handle it better than that naive woman.

With the start of the Keeper’s sixth-year in Hogwarts, comes a whole slew of headache-inducing challenges from the most unexpected of places. Between insignificant pests throwing wrenches into their plans and tedious teenage drama, that the Keeper is entirely unprepared for, they wonder if they'll make it to their NEWTs without losing their sanity.

Or worse, Ominis or Sebastian.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

"I've been thinking." Sebastian hummed.

Warnings: More fluff!

Just some more sweetness before things get rocky again x3

I've been so busy the last few months, ah, tired. It's nice writing this though, I'm well aware that this isn't even 20% through the story I've got planned but it's nice to be writing regularly again, even if it's tiring x')

I hope that the few people still reading this are truly enjoying it, and I'm beyond grateful for the continued patience and support ♡

If even one person enjoys this long journey and finds it meaningful, then I'm happy to have worked hard on it all the way, and I look forward to seeing ya'll at the last chapter of the series when the day comes!

"Now, there's a surprise." Ominis quipped with a small smile.

"Well, he has been doing that more often these days." The Keeper chuckled as the three of them strolled across the castle battlements, enjoying the view from the top of the walls, and getting a feel for the layout.

"True." Ominis nodded concedingly, following the Keeper through the gatehouse door and sighing in relief at being out of the cold.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the teasing as he closed the door behind them. "Dìon isn't as big as Hogwarts but it still takes ages to get around. I was thinking it'd probably be useful to have portraits scattered around the castle for quick communication."

The Keeper raised their eyebrows. "That's a good idea, since portrait subjects can move from one frame to another in seconds."

Ominis nodded as well, leaning against a wall, and folding his arms. "We could train the portrait subjects to carry messages and keep a lookout. Good thinking, Sebastian."

"Why thank you." Sebastian grinned, dipping into a deep bow, before straightening when the Keeper snorted. "I suppose we just need to think of who we'd want portraits of."

"I'd probably want a portrait of Professor Fig, if the two of you don't mind." The Keeper hummed thoughtfully. "I can ask Professor Sharp if Fig had one that I could request a duplicate of."

"Of course, we wouldn't mind at all." Ominis smiled. "I was thinking of my aunt Noctua actually. I believe my family had a portrait of her commissioned, I'll see if I can get a copy from my father when I graduate."

"Don't forget to unlink your copy from your parents'. Wouldn't want her to move off Dìon grounds." Sebastian bumped shoulders with him companionably. "I have some photos of my parents, I'd probably want to commission a portrait of them too."

"I know an artist who specialises in painting from photographs, Malfoy mentioned her once, I'll owl her and make some enquiries." Ominis offered.

"Thank you." Sebastian leaned over to place a light kiss on Ominis' cheek and the Keeper smiled at the sight of his fair skin turning rosy.

"I'll probably move the Elder Keepers' portraits here as well, though I doubt they'll be very pleased with what I've decided to do with the Repository." The Keeper chuckled sardonically after a moment's thought.

Sebastian shrugged. "It's not like they were doing a very good job of it. If you hadn't come along when you did, their defences would have been ripped down by Ranrok."

"And Hogwarts would have been destroyed, probably with all of us still in it." Ominis nodded.

The Keeper shook their head. "I wonder why people keep hiding dangerous things in a bloody school. The mountains of forbidden books in the Restricted Section, the Repository-"

"Salazar's Scriptorium." Ominis added.

"And who knows what else." Sebastian finished.

"Honestly, you'd think it was a secret Gringotts' branch." The Keeper rolled their eyes. "Then again, I suppose it could be because the Elder Keepers were professors and a headmaster, and Slytherin was a Founder."

"Wonder if it's just Hogwarts attracting oddballs then." Sebastian mused. "To be fair, we've benefited a lot from all that forbidden knowledge in Hogwarts."

"Even so, it's a bit negligent of all these adults to put dangerous things in a building full of children." The Keeper rolled their eyes, and Ominis nodded in agreement, a grimace of consternation on his features.

"Well, at least that's not a problem for our castle." Sebastian shrugged.

"What do you mean? There's a child in this castle too." The Keeper smirked at Sebastian.

"Oh, come on." Sebastian sighed exaggeratedly while Ominis laughed lightly behind him.

"Alright, I think this section should be ready." Sebastian called out over his shoulder, as he held his wand over the wall of frozen soil before him, carefully spreading a steady stream of heat over it and encouraging it to soften.

"Careful with the temperature, Sebastian. We don't want to burn the soil." Ominis cautioned as the Keeper entered the underground development site through the elves’ room, digging through their satchel as they walked.

"Why are you worrying about me? They're the one about to carve out half a Quidditch pitch worth of earth." Sebastian frowned as he lowered his wand.

"No need to exaggerate, Sebastian. We'll be lucky if I manage a quarter." The Keeper chuckled as they withdrew an all too familiar jar and unstopped it.

"Well, I never said I wasn't worried about them." Ominis shot back with a raised eyebrow, before frowning as he heard the Keeper's shaky inhale. "...I am actually worried, please don't overexert yourself. Especially with…"

Ominis trailed off and Sebastian’s eyes gravitated to the unspoken source of Ominis' anxiety, as the Keeper inhaled red swirls of energy from the jar. The Keeper's iris began to glow, as though that angry crimson essence were bleeding from their eyes.

Sebastian swallowed, yeap, that sight was definitely doing something to him, he just wasn't sure he wanted to acknowledge it. So not the right time, he mentally scolded himself.

"Don't worry about me." The Keeper gave a low chuckle and gestured for Sebastian to move out of the way.

Which he obeyed immediately, and that had absolutely nothing to do with how sensual their raspy chuckle had sounded to his stupid horny brain.

The moment he was clear, the Keeper drew their wand, drawing their magic to themselves and coaxing the now red-tainted ancient magic within them to swell into a raging hurricane. It was a struggle just to hold the precise mental blueprint in their head, to keep it from drowning in the eye of the storm.

Sweat beaded on their brow at the surges of ancient magic swirling and bubbling around them, begging to be released. To run freely and wildly across anything it touched, ripping everything around them to shreds.

But, the Keeper wouldn't let their magic master them. No, they were the master here.

Envisioning the exact shape and size they needed, the Keeper threw their magic into the earthen wall before them in two diverging streams of pure cleaving force, cracking the bedrock, digging through the packed dirt and its dense frozen moisture. Their initial cut made easier by Sebastian softening the soil at the entry point, bending the magic to their will, and surrounding the entire block of land.

Just a bit further… they could feel their magic straining, protesting the vast distance it had been stretched and spread across. A troll was one thing, an entire field was another, but they persisted, their wand arm trembling from the strain of holding it steady.

The more they carved out today, the faster construction would progress. Forcing their magic just a few more meters, the Keeper finally closed the loop, connecting the twin streams of magic at the other side of the block.

With their magic outlining the region they wanted to change, the Keeper turned that magic inwards with a grunt of effort, disintegrating the entire mass of earth with a loud rumble, and reducing it to a cloud of smoke.

The Keeper gasped as they felt their remaining magic return to them, falling forwards from the rush of adrenaline and exhaustion from their magical exertion. Their fall was halted however, by Sebastian's timely embrace.

"And that's what we were worried about." Sebastian sighed as the Keeper panted heavily in his arms. "Easy there, there we go."

Sebastian carefully maneuvered the Keeper to sit down on a bench that they'd placed by the elves' temporary residence, Ominis following immediately as well.

"...'m fine." The Keeper’s chest heaved as they rest their head back against the wall, closing their eyes as they gasped for breath. The previously enclosed underground was now exposed to the open air, and they eagerly pulled the fresh cold breeze into their lungs.

"You most certainly do not sound fine, not by any measure of the word!" Ominis scolded exasperatedly as he folded his arms beside them.

"I said, I am fine. Just needed to catch my breath." The Keeper repeated firmly, opening their eyes, and pinning Ominis with a narrowed gaze.

Ominis frowned at the Keeper’s tone and opened his mouth to retort, when-

"Hello Fine, I'm Sebastian."

The Keeper and Ominis stared at Sebastian incredulously. The unexpected and unrelated statement causing both their thoughts to grind to a bewildered halt.

Sebastian grinned and shrugged. "What? Sounded like the two of you were about to get into a row over something as silly as a word's definition. So, I thought I'd do something about that."

The Keeper snorted and shook their head, while Ominis sighed concedingly. "Fair enough, I suppose Sebastian wouldn't be able to joke around if you didn’t look well."

"And I appreciate the concern, but I do hope you'd have more faith in my respect for your feelings." The Keeper smiled, taking Ominis by the hand and placing a kiss on the back of it.

"Smooth." Sebastian chuckled as Ominis flushed at the gesture.

"Oh, hush you, it's the cold I say." Ominis cleared his throat, before blinking in surprise when something colder touched his cheek. "Oh."

"Well, what do you know?" Sebastian grinned as he looked up. "A lovely day for snow indeed. Must have started while we were working."

The Keeper hummed as they looked up at the falling snow as well, not particularly concerned with the weather. Winter was always hard, and cold. Impartial, the only time where the bodies of dead were treated equally, from homeless adults to starving children. All blanketed in a coat of beautiful, pure white snow.

But they were warm now, with Sebastian and Ominis by their side, they needed nothing els-

The fine hairs on the Keeper's neck raised and they automatically flicked their wand, conjuring a shield with Protego. Only for a small white snowball to shatter into powder against the magical barrier, the protective field flickering out almost immediately due to their low magic levels.

"Aw, I thought I'd manage it this time, you were so far away." Sebastian laughed as he scooped up another handful of snow to replenish his ammunition, only for a snowball to slam into his face, knocking him backwards and onto his arse. "Gah!"

"Never let an opportunity to catch your enemy off guard slip by." Ominis chuckled as he waved his wand fluidly, three snowballs rotating in the air before him.

The Keeper shook their head with a smile. "I will agree with you there."

"Enemies, are we? Very well then, prepare yourself!" Sebastian grinned as he flung a snowball at Ominis, the white powder scattering as it smashed into one of the rotating orbs floating before him.

The Keeper laughed as Ominis shot another snowball at Sebastian with his wand and began to arm themselves as well. Digging their hands into the freshly fallen snow that was piling up on the bedrock they'd just unearthed.

A perfect battlefield, free of insects and roots, the bedrock untouched by nature, an empty arena carved into the face of the hilltop. The Keeper considered their options on this level playing field and hastened to the other side of the arena, placing their back against the wall as their snowballs trailed after them through the air.

Hearing the Keeper's movements, Ominis spun around, flinging two snowballs at them with his wand. The Keeper dodged, reaching behind them for a snowball and chucking it at Ominis' leg, causing him to stumble as he chased them.

"Aha! Chance!" Sebastian cackled. As Ominis regained his balance, Sebastian took the opportunity to fire at the Keeper and they rolled quickly, before tossing one at him as well.

The Keeper found themselves laughing when Ominis' snowball hit Sebastian as he tried to dodge their own, the sound he made as he went down reminding them of their first duel.

"This can't be your first snow fight!" Sebastian let out a groan from under the thin layer of snow that was starting to pile on top of him.

"Let's just say I'm a quick learner." The Keeper smirked as they twisted to dodge a shot from Ominis.

“Well then, I suppose class is in session today.” Ominis grinned as he fired another two snowballs in rapid succession.

“Think you've got something to teach me?” The Keeper chuckled as they dug their ancient magic into the ground under their feet again, this time displacing a chunk of earth and pulling it upwards into a short makeshift barricade to duck behind.

Ominis took the opportunity to make several more snowballs, knowing that the Keeper was likely doing the same on the other side.

"Indeed, your first lesson, is to give your opponent no chance to recover their arms, for snow lays about aplenty!" Ominis braced a hand on the barricade, using the leverage to sling a barrage of snowballs over it and upon the Keeper.

To his surprise however, the Keeper was not behind the barrier, having slipped around the side, taking the chance to pin Ominis against the barricade from behind.

"I think you might have mistaken this teacher for a student." The Keeper purred in his ear, feeling him shiver from more than the cold.

Ominis huffed a shaky breath with a smile. "Oh, whatever shall I do?"

The Keeper made to reply, when suddenly the snow pile beside them erupted in a shower of white powder, and the Keeper, as well as Ominis, were tackled to the floor by Sebastian.

The three landed in a soft snowy cloud of flakes and Sebastian lifted his head with a wide grin, as his two partners lay under his arms, enjoying the rare, startled expression on the Keeper's face.

"Aha!" Sebastian laughed jubilantly, his cheeks flushed from the cold. "And that's lesson two, never underestimate the element of surprise!"

The Keeper chortled while Ominis shook his head, placing a hand on Sebastian's cheek. "Merlin’s beard, you're freezing, you nutter!"

Sebastian merely snuggled closer with an unrepentant grin, his hair damp from the melted snow and clinging to his freckled forehead as he winked. "Can't freeze with partners this hot."

Ominis promptly shovelled a handful of snow over Sebastian's head. "That's it. You need to cool your head off!"

"Aw come on, that was a good one!" Sebastian protested, rolling to the side to hide behind the Keeper.

The Keeper shook their head at the two's antics, allowing themselves to relax into the snow and catch their breath. They'd never felt quite so carefree before, and they savoured the new sensation.

Ominis huffed in mock annoyance before following their lead and lounging on his side, propping his head up with an arm, while Sebastian rested his head on the Keeper's shoulder.

Sebastian sighed contentedly, unbothered by the cold as he basked in that nearly forgotten joy of play fighting in snow with family.

Family…

Without much thought, Sebastian spoke the feelings that weighed on his heart. "We used to play in the snow, our parents, Anne and I."

Ominis wore a sad smile as Sebastian continued. "After our parents… Anne and I hadn't the heart to play for some years. Till we became friends with Ominis, then it was the three of us."

"I didn't know how to snow fight either." Ominis chuckled nostalgically.

Sebastian grinned fondly. "We had to find a way for Ominis to make snowballs with his wand so he could see while firing."

The Keeper nodded in understanding, running a hand through Sebastian's now frosty hair, combing the icy flakes from it. "That's quite a skill, Ominis."

"Why, thank you." Ominis hummed, trailing a finger thoughtfully through the snow.

"Things were simpler then." Sebastian murmured, his tone becoming melancholic. "Anne was simpler then…"

The Keeper craned their head downwards to place a kiss on the top of Sebastian's head, gripping his shoulder comfortingly in silent support. There was nothing they could say, nor did the Keeper feel like they had any place to.

Ominis remained silent too for a few moments, before hesitantly suggesting. "Would it help? To have that Anne back."

Sebastian lifted his head to look at Ominis, tipping it to the side in confusion. "That Anne?"

"Yes… the version of Anne before the curse." Ominis shifted uneasily. "I was thinking that, perhaps we could have a portrait made of her when she was younger. We could feed it our memories of Anne from before."

The Keeper's eyes widened. "Train it to imitate that youthful and innocent Anne."

Ominis nodded nervously, waiting anxiously for Sebastian to speak and grant him an idea of what effect his suggestion'd had.

Sebastian remained silent from shock for a few more seconds.

"I-" Sebastian's jaw flailed. "I never thought of doing something like that."

Ominis nodded mutely and the Keeper simply watched Sebastian's face, trying to read his reaction.

"I- I suppose, well, I'm not sure." Sebastian stammered for a moment before a hopeful smile began to spread across his face. "But… I think it’s worth a try."

With his agreement, Ominis relaxed with a quiet sigh and the Keeper nodded. "I think that's a fine idea."

Ominis' eyes widened in surprise. "Really? I thought you might disapprove."

The Keeper shrugged. "I have nought against Anne, I don't necessarily like her after what she's done, but anything that keeps either of you happy is agreeable to me."

"Then, we should look through our photos and pick some good ones for the artist." Sebastian’s face lit up with excitement. "Ominis, do you remember that one I took of her when we were making snow angels?"

"Snow angels?" The Keeper tipped their head to the side in confusion.

"Wait, you don't know what snow angels are!?" Sebastian exclaimed with a scandalised gasp.

"Oh my." Ominis giggled lightly as Sebastian dragged the Keeper to their feet. Using his wand to glance around, Ominis swished it, summoning a gust of wind to push the coat of snow that covered the ground, piling them together.

Sebastian grinned at his quick thinking and dragged the Keeper over to a pile of snow that looked sufficiently thick enough for a snow angel.

"This is absolutely unacceptable, we must postpone our snow fight lesson to enlighten you." Sebastian stood before the snow pile, cleared his throat, and sternly raised a finger. "Now, the most important step is the first, observe carefully. Tradition requires that we begin like so!"

Sebastian then spread his arms to the side and flopped down backwards into the snow. The Keeper watched in amusement as Sebastian's weight dropped him several inches into the layers of soft fluffy powder, where he lay grinning up at them like a loon and as though he'd accomplished some great feat.

"The next step is to move your arms to create wings for your snow angel, as well as your legs to illustrate their robes!" Sebastian continued, beginning to move as described, creating the silhouette of an angel in the snow.

"I see." The Keeper chuckled, finding his theatrics rather adorable and glanced over at Ominis who was still lounging on the soft snow comfortably. "I assume you also took this class?"

"Indeed, and I will have you know that I passed my finals with flying colours." Ominis raised his chin proudly and the Keeper laughed at how seriously their partners were taking this.

"That he did, and now!" Sebastian sprung up from the spot, waving at the immaculate snow angel on the ground. "It's your turn!"

The Keeper snorted, they couldn't believe they were doing this, but his enthusiasm was infectious, and they didn't want to spoil the moment. So, they cast their eyes over the ground, spotting a suitable mound just off to the left and stood with their back to it.

"Well, I suppose I can fall for you again." The Keeper smirked, relishing the delight on Sebastian's face at their terrible joke.

"Oh Merlin, not you too!" Ominis groaned.

The Keeper smiled, spread their arms, closed their eyes, and with the sound of air rushing past their ears, allowed this inexplicable force of nature, these terrifying yet exhilarating feelings to guide their path.

They really had fallen indeed.

"Master looks happy!" Tibsy squeaked cheerfully as she peeked, over the parchment of blueprints in her hands, at the three teenagers playing in the snow.

"Yes…" Tynx agreed absently, staring in disbelief at the large and perfectly cut, gaping hole that the Keeper had carved out of the earth in a split second.

That they still had the energy to sprint around and play fight, was absolutely ridiculous. Their master had done in one second, a job that would have taken the two elves at least a week to accomplish with such precision, and they were still a human child!

Sure, the elves could probably dig such a large crater in a day, but it wouldn't have been nearly so clean and square. It was almost smooth enough on the sides and corners to be walled up immediately.

Tynx swallowed nervously.

What sort of monster were he and Tibsy bound to!?

Notes:

The word 'square' means 'right-angled' in engineering speak, and a quarter of a Quidditch pitch is roughly around 513 square metres. Which is actually pretty darn big, I'm a bit worried that I made it too impressive but to be fair, Sebastian made an army of Inferi all by his lonesome with one tiny relic.

The Keeper's literally taking magic steroids xD Also, magical portraits apparently work more similarly to Artificial Intelligence like Character AI or ChatGPT, than having any actual connection to the painting's subject, unlike ghosts.

As such, Hogwarts Headmasters and Headmistress would basically have their portrait painted when they took up the post, and then spend their tenure in the position training their portrait to behave and think like them, so as to impart their wisdom to future Headmasters/mistresses.

I thought that this was fascinating. So, I'm going to play so hard with this concept in this fic. Our kids have pensives so they can reasonably train the portraits from Sebastian's memories.

Though, of course, memories are pretty subjective, so who knows if painting!Anne would end up being similar to the original at all...

We don't have much else in way of information on magical paintings, so I'll be making up stuff like I did with the Underage restriction and Gringotts, hopefully the ideas I have will feel cool xD

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol7

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1 Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1 Vol02 Part 2 |

Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 |

Vol06 | Vol07

Thoughts on Vol07! Kinda spoilery for vol8 in my analysis, but you all probably already read this anyway :)

Definitely the "mom looks right through this shit" look

Little Knives just wanting to be accepted, being so afraid of rejection that he cries out of relief! Sweet little guy, what happened to you :(

(little note to the stampede version: I love Stampede very very much, though the one detail where I would have liked them to stay closer to the manga is making you Knives the more vulnerable one. In Stampede I think they are putting more emphasis on his love for his brother, and his feeling of duty to protect him as the "older" and "only one with powers". That his whole acting later is a result of his fear, of him being scared and answering with violence as the only solution he can think of. I like that in the manga a lot, because it's giving his character so much complexity! But, I'm very eager to see what they will do with Knives in s2 of Stampede!)

2 creechures

Vash is noticing how dusty this part of the ship is. Also, at first I thought these were their footsteps, but because of the way the feet ar moving and how the steps point in different positions, I guess it's Rem's footprints in the dust he's seeing!

Oh look! The eyes of all the people they had been looking forward to meeting earlier, now piercing them with their cold and cruel stares!

Vash, too weak to protest but not wanting to be saved. And probably touched by a human in this moment, even if it's Rem : (

Looking so much like a cornered animal here...

I'm gonna repeat it like others have already said...doesn't this sound all too familiar to what Vash once said to Wolfwood? Also insane mom instinct by Rem to just grab the knife without blinking to stop Vash from stabbing himself.

Chills on this page!

Rich coming from the one who's the most afraid of all. Also love this change in the atmosphere suddenly...and Vash is noticing some behaviour change, and that it's not good, but he also doesn't know what it means (how could he though) and what to do...he's just a kid!

These two pages directly following each other (right first, then left) are just...so poetic. Beautifully cruel.

THANK YOU WOLFWOOD for trying to lift his spirits!

Then we get the two nice seeming criminals that they save from the rope. This little fun get-together before all comes down, is really something Vash needed...just some people who don't care what he did.

And then we get this page, also one I really like.

Tell us your secrets, lonesome cowboy.

That scene before making every first-time reader go staring in shock at the pages before turning to this one. And Wolfwood...not wanting to burden Vash with his worries or whatever that was!! DDD: Course Vash noticed, his looks says enough and the blank space of the panel where his back is turned to us indicates so as well. Those two. I will properly start with my Vashwood yearning with my vol08 recap (this just as a possible warning) but oooough.

Elendira having no fun in gutting people??? Can't have that, can we.

This is such a pretty drawing, also giving me feels of religious paintings or sculptures.

I want a spinoff with just the Gung Ho Guns crew, much like the Organization XIII in the Kingdom Hearts manga looks like an assembly of poorly organized idiots.

Awesome pages and speech. Vash must be one of the dearest characters ever created in existence.

Oh, his Knives senses are tingling!

And with the end of Vol7 we are being thrown into an age of chaos and despair! Yay!

[sarenkadearie]

I think about the last couple of months, maybe even the past year and I struggle with fully being able to process the emotions from that time. I hope I can properly do so today so I can move forward. This may be a long post.

I am the type of person who tries to find a solution to every problem. I think to myself, "if I do this, then it will help get all my nasty feelings away". Of course, it's not always a quick solution, it can take days or weeks or even months. Other people aren't like that though, which has been hard for me to understand. I can't fully understand why some people would like to sit in their negative feelings when there are so many solutions available to them that they aren't seeing. I don't like feeling upset and I don't like seeing others upset because I care about them, but they get annoyed so I should probably just stop doing that.

I am reminded of scenarios where I got frustrated with people unwilling to move forward. I could never let that frustration turn to anger though, I was unable to let myself do so and anger scares me a lot. I think about the different methods I tried, the long paragraphs where I tried to be the most loving even though I have never been good with words. I stumble, my accent switches in and out when I'm not focused enough, I can't put my emotions into words and at the end of it all it just doesn't feel like I was able to completely express myself. I think about the short messages, where I was straight to the point and direct but still firm in my support and care. I think about how every single time I showed up, even when it wouldn't have benefited me, even though I was always so anxious to do so, I still did it because I cared. I disregarded myself a lot, I let myself be controlled because I thought that "these negative moments won't last, it will get better". I stayed to show my support and genuinely believed that it would all be better, but I and everyone else around me knows that "naive" is the word that comes to people's heads first when thinking about me.

I knew that it would have been a slow journey, but even then I didn't mind. I was dedicated to her and I thought that all my work would pay off. I thought that the difficult months would soon be over and that things could go back to normal but it didn't. I remember realising how I had done it all for nothing and that I was now going to be discarded. I had been made to feel like I was the dirt beneath her feet when I had been once compared to the sun. I never really understood the comparison, but it doesn't really matter now anyway.

I remember how annoyed my friends were. I think my friends put me on a pedestal too much and it gets scary. "You're far too nice for your own good. People will take advantage of that, you need to learn to be more discerning" , "you need to learn that not everyone is trustworthy". In all honesty, I don't think I have these great traits that they talk about. "You need to look at people's actions, do their words match their behaviour?" Really upset me. I'd one day like to experience a type of love where I can know that they love me without having to use their words but I also tend to dream way too big so I shouldn't hope for such silly things ^^;. I think they got even more annoyed when I had told them that if my efforts did at least help her get back on her feet then I'm glad. I remember the sighs, they sounded as if I was a lost cause. Maybe I am though, oh well. To be honest, I don't know if I did actually help. When we spoke, she never really sounded like she had any hope or willpower for anything so maybe I actually ended up doing damage without meaning to. I'll probably never know so there's no point in thinking about it.

I'm trying to write this next paragraph, but it's starting to get even more difficult, so forgive me for not making any sense and for if this all comes out in word vomit. I'm trying to come to terms with the emotions that come with feeling betrayed and lost. I don't like feeling lost. I have been someone who always knew what to do in a crisis, I could always see the light at the end of the tunnel and I knew how to get there in the most efficient way possible but when it came to that moment, where everything came crashing down I genuinely felt as if I lost a part of myself and I began to mourn who I was. I look at what I am now and I see cowardice. I am too afraid to act out, I don't have the confidence I used to have when I would create my plans on how to get to a better place. I feel weak trying and I feel shakey. I can't support myself in the way I used to be able to. I'm trying to learn again, but it's been difficult. It was something I prided myself on, it was a trait I genuinely believed was my best and now that it's gone I feel too vulnerable. I cannot protect myself enough to get out and I can not rely on others to help me. I do not trust them enough or they simply just do not understand. As much as I want to, I cannot bring myself to depend on the people in my life. It doesn't matter how desperate I am to do so, I am too afraid and I feel an unbearable amount of shame regarding that. I am trying my absolute best to maybe even attempt but I am so scared ^^; every time I think about it I cry which is a bit pathetic of me.

I once heard a phrase that I can't properly remember, but it was something about how you turn into the people who have hurt you. I pray it isn't true but it might be looking like it. I feel conflicted about it though I'm not sure about it but it makes me feel weird.

But I don't wish to stay in a negative place though, I want to improve, I want to be good, I want to be happy and I want to make others happy. If it means that I will have to learn to navigate through life again and again and again I will do so. I don't want to hurt others, I don't want anyone to feel the way I did. I don't want to cause harm, I don't want to hurt people because of my fear, I want to be someone who matters, I want to be reliable again and I want to rely on others again. I want to love and be loved. I want to finally feel some kind of pure love where I don't have to work for it. The type where I don't have to prove my worth, where we can just stay still and appreciate one another. I think it will be hard to accept due to me feeling as if I was/am not worthy of any of this, but I so desperately want to be. I want to be valued and value others freely with no fear. I want to die knowing I was cared for properly and that I was also able to care for others. I want to be able to die in peace, knowing that it was all worth it in the end and that my suffering wasn't meaningless. I want someone to be happy to have me. I don't want to feel like a chore or an annoyance to someone. I just want to live freely with no fear, knowing that I can still be accepted and loved without having to work for it. Feeling as if my existence and character are enough to be at least appreciated. I don't want to be punished for my love and care. I don't want to be laughed at for behaving like a stupidly hopeful dog. I want to be loved and I want it to be gentle and nurturing.

Just found this in my drafts oops and POST

[mrs-monaghan]

I just watch Bon Voyage 1. And it gave me clarity on something. Jikook started being sexually active around 2016. Or maybe even before that. Why would you give someone a footsie under the table if you’re not sexually active with each other?

Damn anon. You're just gonna bring this up, no heads up? Okay then.

How do I answer this without getting crucified for delving into their sex lives? 🤔

Whatever. I'm already cancelled.

Disclaimer: this is just what I deduced. Only Jikook know what really transpired.

So due to certain behaviour I am inclined to believe that yes, by 2016 they had gone all the way. Maybe late 2015 (thus my theory for why 8/11/15 is important) or early 2016. Because 2015 we have the 2 things that I linked above, then 2016 we have; like you just pointed out, the crotch footsie and also Osaka Vlive. Oh! And let's not forget Jimin eating a sausage, saying he's a big eater, laughing at reasons only known to him, while looking at the person who was behind the camera. Possibly the owner of the sausage Jimin likes to eat. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

2016 was full of sexual tension and innuendos and just... things. I think we can all safely agree by 2016 the going was going. 👉🏽👌🏽

That being said, I think before the going started going, other things were being done way before that. I don't need to clarify obvs. Kissing, heavy petting.... c'mon I'm already saying too much don’t make me say it. O__L. Okay, there i said it.

But the thing is, there are Jikookers who have this thing where they say Jimin waited till 2017 in Tokyo or some shit or they didn't do anything at all before they went all the way. Again, because Jimin was trying to be respectful. Or because being gay is illegal in SK. Or a bunch of other stuff that I'm honestly not sure why they would apply.

Jimin is absolutely the type to feel guilty if he thought he made JK do something he didn't want to do. That much i agree on. But, that would come after the fact. Alright? Teenage boys are the same everywhere. Everywhere. The wind blows in their face too hard they get hard at that age. And now you want me to put my faith in two horny teenage boys, living under the same roof and are attracted to eo??? Nah fam.

I'm not doing that. Regret usually comes later, after the deed has already been done 😂😂

And if the accident was too good it happens again and again and again until you start planning for it and looking forward to it. Maybe by saying you'll be staying late practising the new choreo at the studio? 😌 who knows?

Moving on, we know for sure they had already shagged in 2016 because that is when the push and pull started to happen. This is the example I like to give. When you sleep with your teacher, or with your boss. Right? (By teacher I mean college, please and thank you) Do you know what happens when you fuck your superior? A little respect kind of goes out the window. Suddenly you don't care if you're late for work. You decide not to do your homework just because. Your behaviour changes because you know you can get away with shit now.

And this is exactly what happened with Jikook. Jinmin were reacting to that show JK went on and Jimin was lamenting how JK doesn't listen to him. He complained during the live... and he complained on twitter

He complained some more

And complained again

He was a dog with a bone, couldn't stop complaining

And that wasn't the only time. Eat Jin. That one live where Jikook were misbehaving with those lollypops. Jimin again complains that JK has changed. He doesn't listen to him anymore.

He was smiling... but mans was finding JK's behaviour baffling. He couldn't understand why JK had changed.

Jimin, you let that boy wreck you, he has seen how you look like pliant and at his mercy, begging for the Jungkonda. You did this to yourself. Like a friend said to me, Jimin had made his bed, and he now needed to learn how to lay in it and be comfortable. You chose to give that boy the jibooty, he ain't listening to u 😂

(Sidebar: JK replied "I take it from you" given the topic at hand you can't blame my mind for where it went 😂😂😂😂)

Anyway, it's okay, they worked it out and are now living happily ever after. 😁😁💛💜

So yes anon. By 2016 Jikook were Jikooking. Hard. Pun intended 😏

Bonus.

JK had no emotions....In anything.... Hmm 🤔

Does that sound to anyone else like JK was hitting and quitting or is it just me? Just me? Okay, I'll show myself out. My apologies.

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 32 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 33

Summary: It's you and Loki for life and for death.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Mention of torture and psychological trauma, violence, guns, discussion of mental health, Smutty smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

"Promise me that we will be okay" you whispered softly as you sat down on his lap. The moment Clint and James escaped, you knew life wasn't going to be the same again. You knew they'd come for you two.

"I promise you'll be okay sweetheart, no matter what happens..you're going to be okay"

"That's not what I said" he smiled as you got upset. He wasn't trying to hurt you but he had a feeling he wasn't going to make it, his gut screamed at him that his sweet buttons will be left alone without him.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked you so you sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, he felt your lips on his neck before you hummed

"No matter what happens, promise me that you're going to move on and live your life to the fullest" Your eyes teared up and he noticed how your body had stiffened in his arms, you couldn't even think of such a thing. Life without him held no value for you.

"Promise me darling?" He asked you softly so you took a deep breath and agreed reluctantly to make him happy.

"Me and you for life Loki. We were for life, you have to wake up please" you mumbled under your breath but Thor noticed that, he has just gotten his brother back and he wasn't ready to lose him either, he watched the doctor in the ambulance perform a cpr but Loki didn't wake up, he knew what a dead person looked like and his brother was dead.

The hospital arrived but it was too late, the back door of the ambulance opened suddenly and Steve came forward, he looked upset as well as they dragged the stretcher down,

"His heart has stopped, we will try defrillibation once but ..he's..he's gone" Steve ran his fingers in his hair as the doctor said that, he looked at you and you seemed out of your mind, his eyes fell upon Thor and he asked his men to take him in custody for questioning.

"Starling" you heard Thor's voice calling you but you didn't hear it, you couldn't hear anything. They took him inside the hospital but you were still glued to the spot you were sitting at, you were talking to him just a few minutes ago, you were holding his hand and you felt the blood running through his veins, how could he be just gone? How could he just leave you like that? Steve stepped inside the ambulance and sat down next to you,

"Y/n" he grabbed your hand but you snatched it away quickly.

"Don't touch please, you'll ruin his touch, he was holding my hand and he left his print …it's here, don't ruin it" his eyes teared up as you said that. He never understood the bond you two shared with each other but he knew it wasn't for him to understand, the relationship between you two was as pure as it could be but you were also fully dependent on him for all of your needs, he always feared that someday if something was to happen to Loki you wouldn't survive either. He feared this day ever since he had known you two.

"Let's go okay" he made you stand up and took you out of the ambulance then he walked you inside the hospital and called for a nurse to take you to get your check up done, he wanted to see if you were injured but he didn't know that the blood wasn't yours, it was his blood. The nurse gave you the hospital gown but you denied, if his blood was the last thing you'd ever get to feel on your body then be it, you won't let them take it away too.

"Where's Lolo?" You asked her and she sighed before she told you, you immediately ran out of the room and stormed towards the emergency room, when you reached there you didn't find him.

"Lolo where are you?" You sniffled as you barely whispered, it was getting harder and harder to breathe with every passing moment "Lokii" you looked around desperately but he wasn't there. Nobody could hear you, everyone was busy and they couldn't hear you.

"Lokiiiii" you yelled from top of your lungs and all the attention shifted towards you. Where did they take him? You just wanted to hold him and stay by his side. A nurse noticed so he came forward to talk to you.

"Miss, are you alright?"

"Where is Loki, the..the nurse said that the..they brought him here.. where is he?" You asked him,

"That patient with the gunshot wound? He had passed but–"

You started crying furiously before he could finish his words but he asked you to calm down. How were you supposed to calm down? The love of your life had just ceased to exist, he left you all alone so how you were supposed to calm down?

"Please calm down miss, his heart revived but he was losing blood so they took him to ICU for the surgery, just try and relax"

"He is not dead?" You asked him, shock evident on your features,

"He was but they resuscitated him, he was asking for someone.. y/n something " you gasped as he said that. He was alive, Loki was alive. He wasn't dead. You ran out from the emergency room and found the way to the ICU. You couldn't stay still even for a moment while they operated him, as soon as a doctor came out of the room you grabbed a hold of him.

"Tell me he's okay.. please..tell me he's okay" you whimpered so the doctor grabbed your arm and made you sit down on the chair.

"He's okay now, the bullet had pierced through the body and he had lost a lot of blood" the doctor said to you and you stared at him as a part of you still couldn't believe that he was alright.

"He was dead..I saw him dead"

"He was dead for a few minutes, it's a miracle that his heart revived out of nowhere, we had even stopped defibrillating him but he woke up suddenly, he was talking as well and I have never seen anything like that in my life..not in real life Atleast..are you y/n?" He asked you so you nodded.

"He's resting now but you can see him as soon as he's conscious" the doctor told you.

"He's okay? He's okay?" You asked the doctor again just to be sure.

"He's fine..now let's get you cleaned up alright?" He said to you so you looked up at him.

"Can I see him once? Just want to see him please" you asked him so he nodded. His name was Bruce and he seemed kind, you stood outside the door and watched his chest moving slowly, he was breathing and he even seemed less pale than before. His heartbeat seemed normal, it was beating and that was enough.

They shifted him to another room and you also got cleaned up, you didn't want him to see you like this when he wakes up. You went to his room and sat down on the chair next to him, you placed your hand on his and gasped as you felt the warmth of his skin, your fingers trailed over the tattooed initials on his wrist. His right shoulder was wrapped around in bandages and there were several bruises on his body, his pretty face seemed messed up.

You still felt terrified that this was all a dream and he wasn't even alive anymore so you leaned down and kissed the back of his hand then you started to sob as quietly as you could. Those few minutes where you lost him felt like hell, just the thought of not being able to hold him again, not being able to touch him or kiss him made you want to die as well.

He opened his eyes and looked at you sobbing with your head resting on the back of his hand, he had died and he went somewhere, it probably was just a dream but then why did it feel so real? Now wasn't the time to think about it though, he just wanted to comfort his precious girl.

"Baby?" He mumbled so you immediately put your head up and stared at him, you wanted to hug him as tightly as you could but you didn't understand how you were supposed to do it with him being so bruised and broken everywhere.

"You died on me" he smiled as you said that. He didn't want to, he couldn't even imagine what you had gone through, he placed himself in your shoes and was so frightened by the mere thought of losing you to death. It felt worse than any hell he could think of.

"I'm sorry sweet buttons…come here please?" He said softly so you stood up and walked to the other side so at least you won't be irritating the gunshot wound.

"Doctor said to not irritate your wounds"

"I'm fine darling..come here, give me your snuggies" you sat down on the bed to lie down next to him, your arm flung around his waist and you pressed your head between the crook of his neck, he smelled like a hospital but you considered it a blessing. He heard you soft little whimpers and his heart rendered, he really wanted to put his arm around you to comfort you but his whole body felt like he was run over by a bulldozer.

"I'm sorry baby I'm so sorry" he mumbled softly "I tried so hard to not give up, i never want to leave you all alone here you know that right?" You hummed like a child as he said that.

"Thank you for coming back" you whispered in his ear so he turned his head and raised your chin up, then he kissed you as gently as he could, he could feel your body shaking and all he wanted to do was make you stop trembling in such a fear, he was back and he'd never ever leave you again.

Once your mind had processed that he was alive and well he asked you about Thor, Steve had told you that they needed him for questioning and he promised that Thor won't be in deep trouble. After eating he passed out again because he was on several medications, he needed it to heal so you just stayed by his side and watch him breathe, just him breathing felt like a privilege now.

You both were all over the media, the news of Odin, Clint and James's death had spread like a wildfire. The girl Odin had kidnapped was also reunited with her parents.

For the next few days your life revolved around just taking care of him which you were more than grateful for. You went home whenever you needed to shower and change but you returned as quickly as possible, you didn't want to leave him alone even for a second. Thor was there when you weren't and surprisingly Jane visited almost everyday too.

She knew now who Thor was and they had a conversation about this thing between them, both of them wanted to take things slow but you were happy that he was opening his heart for someone. He deserved that.

"Can I ask you a question?" Loki questioned Thor. You went home so Thor was accompanying him.

"Anything"

"Did you ever believe in anything that bastard said about Asgard, Gods, Frost Giants, all that folklore?" Thor looked at him curiously as Loki questioned

"Why are you asking now, brother?"

"I just..he said i wasn't his blood, and I'm honestly thankful for that..no offense"

"I took some" they both chuckled as Thor said that.

"I just..it's stupid never mind"

"Mother always believed him, she always said that she was the queen of Asgard. Look it doesn't matter anymore, let's just say even if it were all true what he did with those innocent people was evil and he deserves to rot in hell for that" Loki nodded as Thor said that.

"He's definitely in Hel"

He wanted to stop thinking about this but he couldn't. Bruce came for the routine checkup and he was surprised to find out that Loki had survived death before as well. When he cut his wrist that one time, there was no way he should have been alive after that. He told him that he was really lucky to be able to beat death twice now.

Natasha was sentenced for six months for trying to deceive the law enforcement, shockingly enough she didn't say anything about Thor or that he kidnapped her. Maybe she really did want to leave the past behind, you'd never forgive her for what she had done with Loki but you weren't going to judge her either. Hopefully she had learned her lesson.

You were sitting on the waiting chair outside his room to wait for the visiting hour when a woman approached and sat down next to you.

"You're y/n right?" She asked you so you nodded "I have seen you on the news..i mean I read about you after the last time Odin was caught" She told you so you nodded but you were confused, what did she want now?

"Are you a reporter or something?" You asked her so she shook her head

"No sorry.. I'm Ashley. I just wanted to see Loki" she said to you so you nodded.

"Let me guess..you guys had sex" you bit on your cheek and you could see she was slightly taken aback by the assumption.

"Uhhh yeah..once, he was my first actually but trust me none of us wanted it" she chuckled but she seemed petrified by the memory.

"Uh-huh? Weird, you're the only fling of his that came to see him, even his ex wife didn't come, didn't even call"

"I'm not ummm..we were not..look he saved my life once but I never wanted to see him or any of those people again so I never tried to find him but now that Odin is gone for good..I just wanted to thank him..every day since that night I have thought about him atleast once a day" her eyes teared up and you looked at her shocked.

"Are you Jennifer? The girl he helped escape from the cult when he was sixteen?" She nodded as you said that.

Saying that Loki was dumbfounded to see her would be an understatement, all this time he thought she had perished that night in the woods but she made it out okay. She healed from the past, she changed her name and she was able to make a life for herself.

"I'm sorry I know it probably doesn't mean much now but–" he cut her off before she could apologise.

"It does..it really does Jennifer..i have spent several sleepless nights thinking about what happened to you..and..ohh you have no clue how relieved I am"

His eyes teared up and the genuine concern in his voice made her smile. She pulled out a picture from her purse and showed it to him.

"Is that..your kid?" He asked her and she nodded.

"All because of you" she whispered softly as she smiled.

"Wait..uhhh..it's not.." he looked at her terrified because he feared that the kid belonged to him.

"Oh no no don't worry ..she's not yours" she chuckled and he did too.

It felt awkward watching them converse with each other, you also felt jealous in a weird way. You felt happy that she came to him as you knew that would help a little with how he felt about himself but you still felt a little jealous, it was instinctual. You couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different amongst them if they had met before or if she had looked for him before he met Jolene. Before he got back to you.

"I just ..after I got out of there i got into therapy, it changed my life, I'm sorry i didn't look for you before, as long as that monster was alive i didn't want to do anything that would make me face him again" her voice cracked so he grabbed her hand to comfort her. Yeah you were definitely jealous.

"I get it, I would do the same if I was you. Besides I hurt you as well that night" he looked down feeling ashamed of what he had done with her.

"You had to..you had no choice Loki, i never blamed you, i always had gratitude for you than resentment"

She comforted him. She visited him everyday for as long as he was in the hospital, you had realized that they both had a lot in common, they liked the same type of music and they both loved reading old school literature that you never really understood.

Loki was finally getting discharged after two weeks so you took him back home with you. According to Bruce, Loki had made a quick recovery but the wound was still healing so you had to take care of his dressing from time to time.

You prepared a bath for him and shampooed his hair, he desperately needed it. You loved taking care of him like this but you never ever wanted to see him go through such torment again. Last few days have been the worst.

"Come here" he mumbled as he sat down on the couch in the living room so you looked at him.

Ever since that day he had noticed a change in you, you didn't seem as carefree as you used to be, he missed that girl and he blamed himself for letting those assholes take away that childlike innocence from you. They drenched you in his blood, you watched them torture him, that bastard was going to rape you and then he died while he held your hand in his, he couldn't even imagine how traumatic all of that must have been for you. He couldn't do much while he was recovering, at the hospital you both didn't have any privacy but now that you two had gotten back home he just wanted to hold you and ease your worries, even if just a bit.

"Let me just finish cleaning this up okay?" You told him and he tilted his head, you never denied the chance to sit on his lap before so it really bothered him.

"Babbbyyy? Come here alright? I'm not requesting" you put the cloth down that you were using to clean around and walked towards him, as you sat down on his lap in your usual position he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer.

"The wound…ca.. careful please" you mumbled so he placed his fingers on your chin and made you look at him,

"Talk to me little girl..what's bothering you, what's hurting you now hmm?" Your eyes teared up as he said that. There were several things bothering you. Sure Odin was gone but the scars that he had left behind remained and you worried about losing him in more ways than one.

"You diedddd" you muttered under your breath and you saw his eyes flickering "You were there with me, talking to me and then all of a sudden your heart stopped beating..you just died…just like that you left me all alone" your lips trembled as you spoke, voice barely audible to him.

"I know sweetheart–"

"I never want you to die again, not without me..me and you not just for life but for death you hear me?" You finally broke down so he hugged you tightly and allowed you to let it all out of you, you didn't even cry when he died in front of you, for a moment you had completely stopped feeling anything, it was like your soul was sucked out of your body and you only began to feel when you saw him breathing again.

"Me and you for life and for death i promise, I'll never ever go anywhere without you I promise " you nodded as he mumbled softly, pressing your head between the crook of his neck you inhaled his sweet scent, you couldn't even picture a world where you'd be deprived of his scent, his touch, his whole existence "Thank you for fighting for me that day, you're such a brave girl you know that? I love you so much my sweetheart"

You couldn't stop crying after that so he just kept you in his arms and whispered sweet nothings in your ears to pacify you. Once your breathing calmed down and you had stopped crying you pulled away a little and looked at him

"Do you ummm ..like Jennifer?" He chuckled as you said that but then he noticed the sad concerned look in your eyes.

"What?"

"Do you like her?"

"I like that she's alive and living her life"

"It's just..you guys seem to have a chemistry and–"

"I'm gonna cut you off right here alright? That is complete bullshit because I didn't feel it at all, I have all the chemistry I feel right here.. you hear me?" You smiled a little as he said that.

"I do..I'm happy she found you though, does it make you feel any better?"

"It does baby"

He cupped your cheeks and kissed you as lovingly as he could. He just wanted to take care of you because in the last few days he wasn't able to do anything for you.

"Can you smile for me..I miss those giggles" you gave him a small smile but he wanted more so he tickled your stomach with his fingers and it made you squeak and giggle in response.

"Stopp stopp please i love you stoppp" you mumbled between your hearty little laughs so he kissed you again. He laid you down on the couch underneath him and made the softest most tender love to you. The desperate bodies stayed clung to each other while he took you as slowly as it was humanly possible for him.

"Fucking hell I'm never going this long without shoving my cock so deep in this cunt"

You bit on your lips as he said that.

"I never want you to either, I have missed you daddy"

He placed his forearms on the side of your head as he pumped himself in and out of you slowly, this was the literal definition of heaven for you.

"Do you ever want a child?" You asked him as you snuggled him on the couch after the lovemaking.

"Do you want that?"

"I'm asking you"

"I'm asking you"

"I asked first"

He sighed as you said that.

"I don't…I don't want a child"

"Me neither"

"You're too young to make that decision darling "

"I know..but I don't want it for now..me and you..it feels enough, it feels perfect, it doesn't feel like we are missing anything"

"It is perfect isn't it?"

You smiled as he said that, growing up he always knew he'd never want children of his own, he didn't think he was equipped of taking care of them, he could barely take care of you, you didn't want them now but after years if you would want them he'd give it to you but for now this felt perfect to him as well.

At night as he finally laid down in his bed with you in his arms he thought about the day Odin was going to put his filthy hands on you, he felt a surge of power running through his veins that felt otherworldly. He couldn't help but wonder where he came from, he wasn't crazy enough to believe in Odin's story but if he wasn't his son then who was his father? Did that man even exist? He was contemplating what he had seen when he was supposedly dead for a good 9 minutes. He saw a world beyond this realm. The visions were buried in his head and they made him ponder over the question he desperately needed the answer for.

Did he even belong to this world?

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

An : I hope this made up for the last chapter. We have like two more chapters.

Taglist :

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @blog-the-lilly @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814 @huntress-artemiss @itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

[uptoolateart]

Perfection and Migration really got me thinking about Marinette's behaviour and recalling that I went through something similar, as a teenager.

The thing about a fantasy is that, quite often, we're secretly scared of it coming true, because we don't know what to do with it.

When it's all in our heads, we can control everything. I would get crushes on boys and mentally write scripts for them. But if I actually talked to them...there was no script. They were free to say whatever they wanted, and it might not be what I wanted.

Think of Cat Walker - that was Marinette's ideal, handed to her on a plate, and she didn't like it. Fantasies only really work in our minds.

After watching Derision, I want to add to this.

Back when Ephemeral first aired, there was something about the reveal scene in the alleyway that felt like a euphemism for sharing an intimate moment with someone for the first time. It's the way Adrien said he was happy to wait until she was 'ready'. I know, I know, 'it's a children's show', but I think we all can agree that it's written in a way that conveys more grown-up ideas whilst also being something my six-year-old can watch.

The conversation between Adrien and Marinette at the end of Derision felt similar. Ultimately, she was coming to terms with a repressed memory of abuse - specifically, bullying, but it could have been anything. Upon finally facing that memory, she felt able to commit to moving forward. I was pleased to see her refuse his hand again and say she still wasn't 'ready'...because no one just has an epiphany and magically gets over abuse. As in Ephemeral, Adrien said he would wait for her. 'We have time.'

Marinette seems most afraid of physical touch - unless she's behind a mask, where she can pretend it isn't happening to her. This can be explained by the bullying story they showed us, but it's also a clear sign of trauma suffered from prior abuse.

(As an aside, this is definitely the kind of thing someone at their age could be dealing with...sadly.)

Now let's jump back to what she said about refusing to give her heart to another person unless she truly knows everything about them. In Migration, Luka told Adrien that we all basically wear different hats when we're with different people. It's actually impossible to know everything about a person.

What we're all hoping is that behind the too-good-to-be-true facades of the Adriens in our lives, there's a secret Cat Noir waiting to be found...because he's not too-good; he's just good. But we can't know that for sure.

In Derision, Adrien himself admitted he was scared he might hurt her one day - because sometimes we hurt those we love without even meaning to. Little does Adrien know he already has hurt her. Can anyone say Cat Blanc? I mean, if she really knew everything about him, she'd know that potential lies inside him....

So what can we do? Extend trust. This is why we keep seeing Adrien / Cat Noir say things like, 'Do you trust me?' and always with that hand stretched out for her to take.

He has made so many leaps of faith for her, because that's his nature. He's been abused too, though I don't think physically - but he still wears his heart on his sleeve. That's pretty brave...and rare. He's waiting for her to make a leap of faith for him, in return.

When she does, it will signal personal healing for her - not because she needs a boy in her life to be whole but because we all crave connection of some kind. You can't cut everyone out and be happy.

Neither of them realise it (especially him), but this even involves a leap of faith that Adrien will somehow deal with the Cat Blanc inside him. We saw a hint of this when he nearly cataclysmed Kim. Ladybug stopped him and later told him that's why there are two of them - to be there for each other, even if it means saying, 'Hey, you're crossing a line, here.' She knows it's all in there...but she keeps him from going too far. That's trust in his better nature.

To sum up: Marinette is learning what we all must learn - that life is hard and some people are cruel, and the only thing we can do about it is to keep moving forward. To let our abusers / bullies crush our ability to love and trust is to let them win. Fantasies of perfect scenarios are never satisfying. The surprises of real-life interaction are what keep us growing and evolving. Real people are always better than the ones in our heads, even if there's the risk that they might hurt us.

Please no post-Derision spoilers in the comments. I'm watching in order. Thank you :)

[borderlinereminders]

my fp ghosted me a year and a half ago and i still think about her and ruminate about what happened every day. there was no closure. therapy hasn't helped, though most of the ones i've seen aren't familiar with the concept of an fp. i don't know how to move on. i feel like i'll only be able to if i get closure from her. what can i do? i tried really hard to encourage open communication and for her to tell me if i was ever too much and she would always tell me she was happy and felt like (1/?)

she could tell me anything. she said she didn't have to walk on eggshells and promised she'd never leave. she insisted our relationship was healthy and didn't want anything to change even knowing she was my fp. i've spent all this time trying to understand why this happened and picking apart my memories and missing her and i'm so sick of it and desperate to move on.

Hi anon,

First of all, this sounds incredibly difficult. I'm very sorry you're having to go through this. I really can't comment much on the friendship itself with such limited information, but what I can say is that it sounds really hard. Why she didn't communicate, we will likely never know. She may have felt afraid of hurting you and it got to be too much, or she may have been going through her own stuff and couldn't figure out how to navigate your friendship anymore or any number of things. 

As much as this isn't what you want to hear, you're going to have to find a different way to get closure. I know that sounds impossible, but it's not. I promise. It will likely be really hard but you can get closure and move on.

If you haven't already, I think one of the first steps is to really feel your emotions. Quit trying to bury them if you are, and really feel them. It's okay to grieve the loss.

Next, it's time to accept it. She's gone. And it's hard but it's time to let go. Wondering "what if" and wishing for a different outcome can be okay to think about in passing, but it's important to not get stuck on that.

Make a decision to move forward. I know it might sound impossible. But you need to tell yourself "I'm moving forward." I'm guessing from the sounds of it that you don't want to stay stuck in this place.

Some ideas to help with the “letting go” part 

Write a letter to her, and tear it up after. 

Do some sort of “letting go” ritual, whatever that means to you. 

Plan something fun that is exciting and you can look forward to

Remove any physical reminders (if there any) from your space. You could also go a bit beyond this and recreate your space to be “new” if it was a place you talked to her a lot or just want to do it for a feeling of a fresh start. There are a lot of ways you can change things up in your space with little money, and I’m happy to share tips about changing a room/place to seem “new” if it holds bad feelings/memories. 

Delete any screenshots/messages (if you think there’s a chance you could need them for whatever reason, save them somewhere less accessible to you. It was so hard for me to do, but deleting the screenshots I’d saved from an ex FP felt like a weight was being lifted.)

If you continue to go to her profiles, or however you spoke to her to check up on her, work on stopping that behaviour. 

Express your emotions through an art of some sort, whether it’s journaling or drawing/painting, etc. 

Work on forming new friendships. 

I know it’s not a quick fix, but I hope something here is helpful. Remind yourself that you can get through this. You had a life without her before, and you can have one again now. 

[needsnalu]

417: Lone Journey 2

There are a lot of debates regarding this chapter about being a NALU moment or not. But it's safe to assume that it's something reagrding incidents which happened in Tartarus Arc.

I wanna point out that, Natsu's behaviour in this panel is quite cheerful. Like he usually acts around. He met Gildarts in the middle of the forest and had a good time with him.

They had a fun battle as usual lol, Natsu didn't show a single sign of sadness. He was continuing his usual antics.

We even saw Happy acting pretty normal. Doing what they'd do if they were in the guild. Nothing new...

It was clear that they were slowly moving on from Igneel's death and Natsu was looking forward to the future just as Igneel said.

And then at night, Gildarts woke up and saw Natsu wasn't there. Which was pretty much surprising as Natsu is someone who loves to sleep. Him, not being in his "bed" in the middle of the night is not normal.

What I think is, in this panel Natsu was conflicted about something and he was surprised to see Gildarts. The look on Gildarts's face was as if he was telling Natsu that he should share what was bothering him and that Gildarts will be there to listen to him and he'll help him if needed. It's natural for him as he has always been a father-figure to Natsu.

When Igneel died right before Natsu's eyes, he told him to look forward to the future. And Natsu instantly made the decision to train for 1 year.

He wasn't in the right mind to talk to anybody about how that affected him. We don't even see him interacting to anybody after Igneel appeared. He didn't tell his decision to anybody, let alone Lucy. But he left a note only for her. Which means he wanted others to know that he'll be back within a year, especially her. He didn't want her to feel like he left her(and the guild members). He even considered that note as an important will which he gave only to her. It shows who Natsu values more in his life.

Now I would've surely said that it was something about Igneel's death if Natsu's expressions weren't like this. I mean in the first panel, he looks conflicted and it's almost like he doesn't know what to say next. And then he blushes and we all can tell from his facial expression that he's a bit embarassed and guilty.

If we see this from a normal perspective, it felt like(to me genuinely) that he was feeling guilty about leaving to train without confronting anyone, especially Lucy. He was trying to come up with excuses as to why he did that or maybe he was trying to say how he felt about that but then ultimately he couldn't hold back his guilt. It also may be that he didn't wanna talk to anybody about what happened or didn't wanna face anyone so he left without saying a single word. Because I honestly don't think it was about Igneel's death, I mean it's related to that but not exactly the same.Gildarts might've asked him about his sudden training which led to that.

Again, we can assume that he was particularly thinking about leaving Lucy despite there's no solid proof about this claim. But Lucy was obviously a part of this convo(he's the closest to her as I said earlier) if my assumption is correct about his guilt(leaving without a single word).

Although I don't think it's gonna happen but it would be great if Mashima decides to remember this chapter and Natsu's alone time with Gildarts in 100 Years Quest. It can be used as a good development point for NaLu. He can do that even after making them canon- like after getting together with Lucy, Natsu somehow remembers what Gildarts told him about his feelings that time(only if Mashima plans it lol).

Anyways! I'm sorry for taking so long to post this👀

And guyssssss make ナツルー Natsurū tag alive again!!!!