#i also like don't even think we can move forward without like. making that behaviour unacceptable

[joseline-woodhouse]

I want in on talking about Annabel and Prospero.

Since most posts I've seen are about how nice it is to watch them being healthy for one another (it really is, I adore their dynamic) I decided to talk about how neither of them would hesitate to kill one another eventually.

First of all both Annabel Lee and Prospero are calculative people. Both of them care for only the outcome and how to get there. I have seen people call Annabel a hypocrite for protecting Prospero because he's important to her after what she did to Duke and I entirely disagree, more on the rescue from Ada later. We have established that Annabel really doesn't care that everyone in the academy (except one, if the Deans can be trusted) is doomed.

I don't think Annabel's general willingness to sacrifice people needs to be discussed.

Now, I'm leaning a bit far out the window here, but take a good look at Prospero in the left picture above, he looks more frustrated than anything. His chances just got a lot worse, he needs to rethink his strategy and on top of all that Ada is invading his personal space again.

Moving forward to what I think makes their mutual betrayal inevitable, the episodes after the Mansion Arc (this is were it gets interesting):

Until now we have seen Prospero mostly be mildly bothered by whatever is happening. When everything fell apart during the Lesson and everyone except for him apperently just did not do their job, he seemed like he was about to explode and seriously questioning his choice of team. Everyone else appeared to just want to go on with the day, Prospero however demanded answers, proving that he cares to win this entire game without getting side tracked.

Further his behaviour during the lesson shows that he actually doesn't get how anyone else would still be reluctant to kill their friends here. He was genuinely not expecting anyone to act out of empathy anymore.

And after the widow's watch affair and him witnessing Annabel freaking out after the labyrinth and smoothly asking about Pluto instead of giving an explanation, he is surely just one big-ish failure or unwillingness to take action away from openly confronting Annabel how it can be that whenever she is alone with Lenore, things go south ways, how whenever people want to act against Lenore, she calls it a waste of time despite the growingly obvious threat that Lenore poses.

I think Annabel actually does matter to him, and I think he matters to Annabel as well, but both of them expect something really specific from one another and sympathy alone means little to them.

Now about Annabel saving Prospero.

I believe this says everything:

Since Annabel is a chess player, get ready for chess metaphors:

In chess, most gambits are about giving away a pawn. Why? Because a pawn has very little value on its own and sacrificing a pawn in order to get a slightly more profitable structure on the board can actually be worth it.

Sacrificing a queen? If you do something like that, you better be 100% sure you're seeing a forced checkmate.

Not only is Prospero's spector really powerful, Prospero is also the only thing keeping Annabel in control of her own team right now. Other than Prospero who's supporting her as long as she keeps bringing results, she is stuck with Ada who is a complete wild card and useless most of the time, Morella who is only half on her team, Will who is loyal mostly to Montresor and Montresor who constantly challenges her leadership.

The way things are standing right now, everything she has build would fall apart the very moment Prospero is gone.

Also, what if Annabel and Lenore have to stay long enough for their teams to start falling apart? Whom does Annabel want to face in a one on one? Someone like Montresor who's spector can very much use brute force against her or someone like Prospero who's spector is similarly unforceful as hers?

We even saw, that Annabel can just simply neutralise Prospero's rats with her fog, leaving him with no real attack on her. While he applies her with status conditions she can use her blossoms to attack him after she used her fog to make his rats disappear like she did on the widow's watch

Annabel did not safe him because she likes him, which she does. She saved him because he is a very important piece for her game and no real threat to her in the long run.

Prospero follows Annabel not because he likes her, which he does, but because she keeps bringing results. Or at least she did until rather recently.

[mrs-monaghan]

I just watch Bon Voyage 1. And it gave me clarity on something. Jikook started being sexually active around 2016. Or maybe even before that. Why would you give someone a footsie under the table if you’re not sexually active with each other?

Damn anon. You're just gonna bring this up, no heads up? Okay then.

How do I answer this without getting crucified for delving into their sex lives? 🤔

Whatever. I'm already cancelled.

Disclaimer: this is just what I deduced. Only Jikook know what really transpired.

So due to certain behaviour I am inclined to believe that yes, by 2016 they had gone all the way. Maybe late 2015 (thus my theory for why 8/11/15 is important) or early 2016. Because 2015 we have the 2 things that I linked above, then 2016 we have; like you just pointed out, the crotch footsie and also Osaka Vlive. Oh! And let's not forget Jimin eating a sausage, saying he's a big eater, laughing at reasons only known to him, while looking at the person who was behind the camera. Possibly the owner of the sausage Jimin likes to eat. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

2016 was full of sexual tension and innuendos and just... things. I think we can all safely agree by 2016 the going was going. 👉🏽👌🏽

That being said, I think before the going started going, other things were being done way before that. I don't need to clarify obvs. Kissing, heavy petting.... c'mon I'm already saying too much don’t make me say it. O__L. Okay, there i said it.

But the thing is, there are Jikookers who have this thing where they say Jimin waited till 2017 in Tokyo or some shit or they didn't do anything at all before they went all the way. Again, because Jimin was trying to be respectful. Or because being gay is illegal in SK. Or a bunch of other stuff that I'm honestly not sure why they would apply.

Jimin is absolutely the type to feel guilty if he thought he made JK do something he didn't want to do. That much i agree on. But, that would come after the fact. Alright? Teenage boys are the same everywhere. Everywhere. The wind blows in their face too hard they get hard at that age. And now you want me to put my faith in two horny teenage boys, living under the same roof and are attracted to eo??? Nah fam.

I'm not doing that. Regret usually comes later, after the deed has already been done 😂😂

And if the accident was too good it happens again and again and again until you start planning for it and looking forward to it. Maybe by saying you'll be staying late practising the new choreo at the studio? 😌 who knows?

Moving on, we know for sure they had already shagged in 2016 because that is when the push and pull started to happen. This is the example I like to give. When you sleep with your teacher, or with your boss. Right? (By teacher I mean college, please and thank you) Do you know what happens when you fuck your superior? A little respect kind of goes out the window. Suddenly you don't care if you're late for work. You decide not to do your homework just because. Your behaviour changes because you know you can get away with shit now.

And this is exactly what happened with Jikook. Jinmin were reacting to that show JK went on and Jimin was lamenting how JK doesn't listen to him. He complained during the live... and he complained on twitter

He complained some more

And complained again

He was a dog with a bone, couldn't stop complaining

And that wasn't the only time. Eat Jin. That one live where Jikook were misbehaving with those lollypops. Jimin again complains that JK has changed. He doesn't listen to him anymore.

He was smiling... but mans was finding JK's behaviour baffling. He couldn't understand why JK had changed.

Jimin, you let that boy wreck you, he has seen how you look like pliant and at his mercy, begging for the Jungkonda. You did this to yourself. Like a friend said to me, Jimin had made his bed, and he now needed to learn how to lay in it and be comfortable. You chose to give that boy the jibooty, he ain't listening to u 😂

(Sidebar: JK replied "I take it from you" given the topic at hand you can't blame my mind for where it went 😂😂😂😂)

Anyway, it's okay, they worked it out and are now living happily ever after. 😁😁💛💜

So yes anon. By 2016 Jikook were Jikooking. Hard. Pun intended 😏

Bonus.

JK had no emotions....In anything.... Hmm 🤔

Does that sound to anyone else like JK was hitting and quitting or is it just me? Just me? Okay, I'll show myself out. My apologies.

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 32 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 33

Summary: It's you and Loki for life and for death.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Mention of torture and psychological trauma, violence, guns, discussion of mental health, Smutty smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

"Promise me that we will be okay" you whispered softly as you sat down on his lap. The moment Clint and James escaped, you knew life wasn't going to be the same again. You knew they'd come for you two.

"I promise you'll be okay sweetheart, no matter what happens..you're going to be okay"

"That's not what I said" he smiled as you got upset. He wasn't trying to hurt you but he had a feeling he wasn't going to make it, his gut screamed at him that his sweet buttons will be left alone without him.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked you so you sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck, he felt your lips on his neck before you hummed

"No matter what happens, promise me that you're going to move on and live your life to the fullest" Your eyes teared up and he noticed how your body had stiffened in his arms, you couldn't even think of such a thing. Life without him held no value for you.

"Promise me darling?" He asked you softly so you took a deep breath and agreed reluctantly to make him happy.

"Me and you for life Loki. We were for life, you have to wake up please" you mumbled under your breath but Thor noticed that, he has just gotten his brother back and he wasn't ready to lose him either, he watched the doctor in the ambulance perform a cpr but Loki didn't wake up, he knew what a dead person looked like and his brother was dead.

The hospital arrived but it was too late, the back door of the ambulance opened suddenly and Steve came forward, he looked upset as well as they dragged the stretcher down,

"His heart has stopped, we will try defrillibation once but ..he's..he's gone" Steve ran his fingers in his hair as the doctor said that, he looked at you and you seemed out of your mind, his eyes fell upon Thor and he asked his men to take him in custody for questioning.

"Starling" you heard Thor's voice calling you but you didn't hear it, you couldn't hear anything. They took him inside the hospital but you were still glued to the spot you were sitting at, you were talking to him just a few minutes ago, you were holding his hand and you felt the blood running through his veins, how could he be just gone? How could he just leave you like that? Steve stepped inside the ambulance and sat down next to you,

"Y/n" he grabbed your hand but you snatched it away quickly.

"Don't touch please, you'll ruin his touch, he was holding my hand and he left his print …it's here, don't ruin it" his eyes teared up as you said that. He never understood the bond you two shared with each other but he knew it wasn't for him to understand, the relationship between you two was as pure as it could be but you were also fully dependent on him for all of your needs, he always feared that someday if something was to happen to Loki you wouldn't survive either. He feared this day ever since he had known you two.

"Let's go okay" he made you stand up and took you out of the ambulance then he walked you inside the hospital and called for a nurse to take you to get your check up done, he wanted to see if you were injured but he didn't know that the blood wasn't yours, it was his blood. The nurse gave you the hospital gown but you denied, if his blood was the last thing you'd ever get to feel on your body then be it, you won't let them take it away too.

"Where's Lolo?" You asked her and she sighed before she told you, you immediately ran out of the room and stormed towards the emergency room, when you reached there you didn't find him.

"Lolo where are you?" You sniffled as you barely whispered, it was getting harder and harder to breathe with every passing moment "Lokii" you looked around desperately but he wasn't there. Nobody could hear you, everyone was busy and they couldn't hear you.

"Lokiiiii" you yelled from top of your lungs and all the attention shifted towards you. Where did they take him? You just wanted to hold him and stay by his side. A nurse noticed so he came forward to talk to you.

"Miss, are you alright?"

"Where is Loki, the..the nurse said that the..they brought him here.. where is he?" You asked him,

"That patient with the gunshot wound? He had passed but–"

You started crying furiously before he could finish his words but he asked you to calm down. How were you supposed to calm down? The love of your life had just ceased to exist, he left you all alone so how you were supposed to calm down?

"Please calm down miss, his heart revived but he was losing blood so they took him to ICU for the surgery, just try and relax"

"He is not dead?" You asked him, shock evident on your features,

"He was but they resuscitated him, he was asking for someone.. y/n something " you gasped as he said that. He was alive, Loki was alive. He wasn't dead. You ran out from the emergency room and found the way to the ICU. You couldn't stay still even for a moment while they operated him, as soon as a doctor came out of the room you grabbed a hold of him.

"Tell me he's okay.. please..tell me he's okay" you whimpered so the doctor grabbed your arm and made you sit down on the chair.

"He's okay now, the bullet had pierced through the body and he had lost a lot of blood" the doctor said to you and you stared at him as a part of you still couldn't believe that he was alright.

"He was dead..I saw him dead"

"He was dead for a few minutes, it's a miracle that his heart revived out of nowhere, we had even stopped defibrillating him but he woke up suddenly, he was talking as well and I have never seen anything like that in my life..not in real life Atleast..are you y/n?" He asked you so you nodded.

"He's resting now but you can see him as soon as he's conscious" the doctor told you.

"He's okay? He's okay?" You asked the doctor again just to be sure.

"He's fine..now let's get you cleaned up alright?" He said to you so you looked up at him.

"Can I see him once? Just want to see him please" you asked him so he nodded. His name was Bruce and he seemed kind, you stood outside the door and watched his chest moving slowly, he was breathing and he even seemed less pale than before. His heartbeat seemed normal, it was beating and that was enough.

They shifted him to another room and you also got cleaned up, you didn't want him to see you like this when he wakes up. You went to his room and sat down on the chair next to him, you placed your hand on his and gasped as you felt the warmth of his skin, your fingers trailed over the tattooed initials on his wrist. His right shoulder was wrapped around in bandages and there were several bruises on his body, his pretty face seemed messed up.

You still felt terrified that this was all a dream and he wasn't even alive anymore so you leaned down and kissed the back of his hand then you started to sob as quietly as you could. Those few minutes where you lost him felt like hell, just the thought of not being able to hold him again, not being able to touch him or kiss him made you want to die as well.

He opened his eyes and looked at you sobbing with your head resting on the back of his hand, he had died and he went somewhere, it probably was just a dream but then why did it feel so real? Now wasn't the time to think about it though, he just wanted to comfort his precious girl.

"Baby?" He mumbled so you immediately put your head up and stared at him, you wanted to hug him as tightly as you could but you didn't understand how you were supposed to do it with him being so bruised and broken everywhere.

"You died on me" he smiled as you said that. He didn't want to, he couldn't even imagine what you had gone through, he placed himself in your shoes and was so frightened by the mere thought of losing you to death. It felt worse than any hell he could think of.

"I'm sorry sweet buttons…come here please?" He said softly so you stood up and walked to the other side so at least you won't be irritating the gunshot wound.

"Doctor said to not irritate your wounds"

"I'm fine darling..come here, give me your snuggies" you sat down on the bed to lie down next to him, your arm flung around his waist and you pressed your head between the crook of his neck, he smelled like a hospital but you considered it a blessing. He heard you soft little whimpers and his heart rendered, he really wanted to put his arm around you to comfort you but his whole body felt like he was run over by a bulldozer.

"I'm sorry baby I'm so sorry" he mumbled softly "I tried so hard to not give up, i never want to leave you all alone here you know that right?" You hummed like a child as he said that.

"Thank you for coming back" you whispered in his ear so he turned his head and raised your chin up, then he kissed you as gently as he could, he could feel your body shaking and all he wanted to do was make you stop trembling in such a fear, he was back and he'd never ever leave you again.

Once your mind had processed that he was alive and well he asked you about Thor, Steve had told you that they needed him for questioning and he promised that Thor won't be in deep trouble. After eating he passed out again because he was on several medications, he needed it to heal so you just stayed by his side and watch him breathe, just him breathing felt like a privilege now.

You both were all over the media, the news of Odin, Clint and James's death had spread like a wildfire. The girl Odin had kidnapped was also reunited with her parents.

For the next few days your life revolved around just taking care of him which you were more than grateful for. You went home whenever you needed to shower and change but you returned as quickly as possible, you didn't want to leave him alone even for a second. Thor was there when you weren't and surprisingly Jane visited almost everyday too.

She knew now who Thor was and they had a conversation about this thing between them, both of them wanted to take things slow but you were happy that he was opening his heart for someone. He deserved that.

"Can I ask you a question?" Loki questioned Thor. You went home so Thor was accompanying him.

"Anything"

"Did you ever believe in anything that bastard said about Asgard, Gods, Frost Giants, all that folklore?" Thor looked at him curiously as Loki questioned

"Why are you asking now, brother?"

"I just..he said i wasn't his blood, and I'm honestly thankful for that..no offense"

"I took some" they both chuckled as Thor said that.

"I just..it's stupid never mind"

"Mother always believed him, she always said that she was the queen of Asgard. Look it doesn't matter anymore, let's just say even if it were all true what he did with those innocent people was evil and he deserves to rot in hell for that" Loki nodded as Thor said that.

"He's definitely in Hel"

He wanted to stop thinking about this but he couldn't. Bruce came for the routine checkup and he was surprised to find out that Loki had survived death before as well. When he cut his wrist that one time, there was no way he should have been alive after that. He told him that he was really lucky to be able to beat death twice now.

Natasha was sentenced for six months for trying to deceive the law enforcement, shockingly enough she didn't say anything about Thor or that he kidnapped her. Maybe she really did want to leave the past behind, you'd never forgive her for what she had done with Loki but you weren't going to judge her either. Hopefully she had learned her lesson.

You were sitting on the waiting chair outside his room to wait for the visiting hour when a woman approached and sat down next to you.

"You're y/n right?" She asked you so you nodded "I have seen you on the news..i mean I read about you after the last time Odin was caught" She told you so you nodded but you were confused, what did she want now?

"Are you a reporter or something?" You asked her so she shook her head

"No sorry.. I'm Ashley. I just wanted to see Loki" she said to you so you nodded.

"Let me guess..you guys had sex" you bit on your cheek and you could see she was slightly taken aback by the assumption.

"Uhhh yeah..once, he was my first actually but trust me none of us wanted it" she chuckled but she seemed petrified by the memory.

"Uh-huh? Weird, you're the only fling of his that came to see him, even his ex wife didn't come, didn't even call"

"I'm not ummm..we were not..look he saved my life once but I never wanted to see him or any of those people again so I never tried to find him but now that Odin is gone for good..I just wanted to thank him..every day since that night I have thought about him atleast once a day" her eyes teared up and you looked at her shocked.

"Are you Jennifer? The girl he helped escape from the cult when he was sixteen?" She nodded as you said that.

Saying that Loki was dumbfounded to see her would be an understatement, all this time he thought she had perished that night in the woods but she made it out okay. She healed from the past, she changed her name and she was able to make a life for herself.

"I'm sorry I know it probably doesn't mean much now but–" he cut her off before she could apologise.

"It does..it really does Jennifer..i have spent several sleepless nights thinking about what happened to you..and..ohh you have no clue how relieved I am"

His eyes teared up and the genuine concern in his voice made her smile. She pulled out a picture from her purse and showed it to him.

"Is that..your kid?" He asked her and she nodded.

"All because of you" she whispered softly as she smiled.

"Wait..uhhh..it's not.." he looked at her terrified because he feared that the kid belonged to him.

"Oh no no don't worry ..she's not yours" she chuckled and he did too.

It felt awkward watching them converse with each other, you also felt jealous in a weird way. You felt happy that she came to him as you knew that would help a little with how he felt about himself but you still felt a little jealous, it was instinctual. You couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different amongst them if they had met before or if she had looked for him before he met Jolene. Before he got back to you.

"I just ..after I got out of there i got into therapy, it changed my life, I'm sorry i didn't look for you before, as long as that monster was alive i didn't want to do anything that would make me face him again" her voice cracked so he grabbed her hand to comfort her. Yeah you were definitely jealous.

"I get it, I would do the same if I was you. Besides I hurt you as well that night" he looked down feeling ashamed of what he had done with her.

"You had to..you had no choice Loki, i never blamed you, i always had gratitude for you than resentment"

She comforted him. She visited him everyday for as long as he was in the hospital, you had realized that they both had a lot in common, they liked the same type of music and they both loved reading old school literature that you never really understood.

Loki was finally getting discharged after two weeks so you took him back home with you. According to Bruce, Loki had made a quick recovery but the wound was still healing so you had to take care of his dressing from time to time.

You prepared a bath for him and shampooed his hair, he desperately needed it. You loved taking care of him like this but you never ever wanted to see him go through such torment again. Last few days have been the worst.

"Come here" he mumbled as he sat down on the couch in the living room so you looked at him.

Ever since that day he had noticed a change in you, you didn't seem as carefree as you used to be, he missed that girl and he blamed himself for letting those assholes take away that childlike innocence from you. They drenched you in his blood, you watched them torture him, that bastard was going to rape you and then he died while he held your hand in his, he couldn't even imagine how traumatic all of that must have been for you. He couldn't do much while he was recovering, at the hospital you both didn't have any privacy but now that you two had gotten back home he just wanted to hold you and ease your worries, even if just a bit.

"Let me just finish cleaning this up okay?" You told him and he tilted his head, you never denied the chance to sit on his lap before so it really bothered him.

"Babbbyyy? Come here alright? I'm not requesting" you put the cloth down that you were using to clean around and walked towards him, as you sat down on his lap in your usual position he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer.

"The wound…ca.. careful please" you mumbled so he placed his fingers on your chin and made you look at him,

"Talk to me little girl..what's bothering you, what's hurting you now hmm?" Your eyes teared up as he said that. There were several things bothering you. Sure Odin was gone but the scars that he had left behind remained and you worried about losing him in more ways than one.

"You diedddd" you muttered under your breath and you saw his eyes flickering "You were there with me, talking to me and then all of a sudden your heart stopped beating..you just died…just like that you left me all alone" your lips trembled as you spoke, voice barely audible to him.

"I know sweetheart–"

"I never want you to die again, not without me..me and you not just for life but for death you hear me?" You finally broke down so he hugged you tightly and allowed you to let it all out of you, you didn't even cry when he died in front of you, for a moment you had completely stopped feeling anything, it was like your soul was sucked out of your body and you only began to feel when you saw him breathing again.

"Me and you for life and for death i promise, I'll never ever go anywhere without you I promise " you nodded as he mumbled softly, pressing your head between the crook of his neck you inhaled his sweet scent, you couldn't even picture a world where you'd be deprived of his scent, his touch, his whole existence "Thank you for fighting for me that day, you're such a brave girl you know that? I love you so much my sweetheart"

You couldn't stop crying after that so he just kept you in his arms and whispered sweet nothings in your ears to pacify you. Once your breathing calmed down and you had stopped crying you pulled away a little and looked at him

"Do you ummm ..like Jennifer?" He chuckled as you said that but then he noticed the sad concerned look in your eyes.

"What?"

"Do you like her?"

"I like that she's alive and living her life"

"It's just..you guys seem to have a chemistry and–"

"I'm gonna cut you off right here alright? That is complete bullshit because I didn't feel it at all, I have all the chemistry I feel right here.. you hear me?" You smiled a little as he said that.

"I do..I'm happy she found you though, does it make you feel any better?"

"It does baby"

He cupped your cheeks and kissed you as lovingly as he could. He just wanted to take care of you because in the last few days he wasn't able to do anything for you.

"Can you smile for me..I miss those giggles" you gave him a small smile but he wanted more so he tickled your stomach with his fingers and it made you squeak and giggle in response.

"Stopp stopp please i love you stoppp" you mumbled between your hearty little laughs so he kissed you again. He laid you down on the couch underneath him and made the softest most tender love to you. The desperate bodies stayed clung to each other while he took you as slowly as it was humanly possible for him.

"Fucking hell I'm never going this long without shoving my cock so deep in this cunt"

You bit on your lips as he said that.

"I never want you to either, I have missed you daddy"

He placed his forearms on the side of your head as he pumped himself in and out of you slowly, this was the literal definition of heaven for you.

"Do you ever want a child?" You asked him as you snuggled him on the couch after the lovemaking.

"Do you want that?"

"I'm asking you"

"I'm asking you"

"I asked first"

He sighed as you said that.

"I don't…I don't want a child"

"Me neither"

"You're too young to make that decision darling "

"I know..but I don't want it for now..me and you..it feels enough, it feels perfect, it doesn't feel like we are missing anything"

"It is perfect isn't it?"

You smiled as he said that, growing up he always knew he'd never want children of his own, he didn't think he was equipped of taking care of them, he could barely take care of you, you didn't want them now but after years if you would want them he'd give it to you but for now this felt perfect to him as well.

At night as he finally laid down in his bed with you in his arms he thought about the day Odin was going to put his filthy hands on you, he felt a surge of power running through his veins that felt otherworldly. He couldn't help but wonder where he came from, he wasn't crazy enough to believe in Odin's story but if he wasn't his son then who was his father? Did that man even exist? He was contemplating what he had seen when he was supposedly dead for a good 9 minutes. He saw a world beyond this realm. The visions were buried in his head and they made him ponder over the question he desperately needed the answer for.

Did he even belong to this world?

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

An : I hope this made up for the last chapter. We have like two more chapters.

Taglist :

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @blog-the-lilly @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814 @huntress-artemiss @itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

[uptoolateart]

Perfection and Migration really got me thinking about Marinette's behaviour and recalling that I went through something similar, as a teenager.

The thing about a fantasy is that, quite often, we're secretly scared of it coming true, because we don't know what to do with it.

When it's all in our heads, we can control everything. I would get crushes on boys and mentally write scripts for them. But if I actually talked to them...there was no script. They were free to say whatever they wanted, and it might not be what I wanted.

Think of Cat Walker - that was Marinette's ideal, handed to her on a plate, and she didn't like it. Fantasies only really work in our minds.

After watching Derision, I want to add to this.

Back when Ephemeral first aired, there was something about the reveal scene in the alleyway that felt like a euphemism for sharing an intimate moment with someone for the first time. It's the way Adrien said he was happy to wait until she was 'ready'. I know, I know, 'it's a children's show', but I think we all can agree that it's written in a way that conveys more grown-up ideas whilst also being something my six-year-old can watch.

The conversation between Adrien and Marinette at the end of Derision felt similar. Ultimately, she was coming to terms with a repressed memory of abuse - specifically, bullying, but it could have been anything. Upon finally facing that memory, she felt able to commit to moving forward. I was pleased to see her refuse his hand again and say she still wasn't 'ready'...because no one just has an epiphany and magically gets over abuse. As in Ephemeral, Adrien said he would wait for her. 'We have time.'

Marinette seems most afraid of physical touch - unless she's behind a mask, where she can pretend it isn't happening to her. This can be explained by the bullying story they showed us, but it's also a clear sign of trauma suffered from prior abuse.

(As an aside, this is definitely the kind of thing someone at their age could be dealing with...sadly.)

Now let's jump back to what she said about refusing to give her heart to another person unless she truly knows everything about them. In Migration, Luka told Adrien that we all basically wear different hats when we're with different people. It's actually impossible to know everything about a person.

What we're all hoping is that behind the too-good-to-be-true facades of the Adriens in our lives, there's a secret Cat Noir waiting to be found...because he's not too-good; he's just good. But we can't know that for sure.

In Derision, Adrien himself admitted he was scared he might hurt her one day - because sometimes we hurt those we love without even meaning to. Little does Adrien know he already has hurt her. Can anyone say Cat Blanc? I mean, if she really knew everything about him, she'd know that potential lies inside him....

So what can we do? Extend trust. This is why we keep seeing Adrien / Cat Noir say things like, 'Do you trust me?' and always with that hand stretched out for her to take.

He has made so many leaps of faith for her, because that's his nature. He's been abused too, though I don't think physically - but he still wears his heart on his sleeve. That's pretty brave...and rare. He's waiting for her to make a leap of faith for him, in return.

When she does, it will signal personal healing for her - not because she needs a boy in her life to be whole but because we all crave connection of some kind. You can't cut everyone out and be happy.

Neither of them realise it (especially him), but this even involves a leap of faith that Adrien will somehow deal with the Cat Blanc inside him. We saw a hint of this when he nearly cataclysmed Kim. Ladybug stopped him and later told him that's why there are two of them - to be there for each other, even if it means saying, 'Hey, you're crossing a line, here.' She knows it's all in there...but she keeps him from going too far. That's trust in his better nature.

To sum up: Marinette is learning what we all must learn - that life is hard and some people are cruel, and the only thing we can do about it is to keep moving forward. To let our abusers / bullies crush our ability to love and trust is to let them win. Fantasies of perfect scenarios are never satisfying. The surprises of real-life interaction are what keep us growing and evolving. Real people are always better than the ones in our heads, even if there's the risk that they might hurt us.

Please no post-Derision spoilers in the comments. I'm watching in order. Thank you :)

[shysquiggles]

Hi there! Why do you think Aziraphale said "I forgive you" right after their kiss ended? Do you think he was referring to the very act of kissing, i.e. forgiving Crowley for kissing him without his consent? Or did it include a more general conotation, forgiving him for what he said, his general thoughts and behaviour?

Okay, there's a lot to ramble about here, and I think its a ramble because I'm not 100% sold on my own thinking. There's a lot of ways to interpret it (one laying into Aziraphale trying to tap into thje fact that Crowley believes he is 'unforgivable' and so using this to try and resolve things) but I do think it could go another way:

Considering this isn't the first time Aziraphale has used "I forgive you" to respond to Crowley, I'm sure it's basically these gays don't know how to communicate (again).

One of Aziraphale's issues is that, while he is very good at forgiving. he really isn't good at resolving personal emotional conflict. I don't mean all conflict -when there's an issue that the two of them are working to solve together (The apocalypse, Gabriel turning up at the bookshop), they work brilliantly. But the conflict I mean is talking about personal disagreements.

When you are faced with a disagreement from a person you care about, its good to talk things out and try to get both of your feelings on the table. You talk, and then you search for a compromise and a resolution. And at times, for a lot of relationships, things can be said that hurt. It takes time to figure things out, and it can take moments of needing to think. But, you do have to face the bumps in order to move forward and to avoid your relationship from falling apart

Here are the two situations that lead to "I forgive you".

The first season, Crowley was exasperated trying to convince Aziraphale to go with him to Alpha Centauri, but still holding his connections to heaven Aziraphale rejects it. Crowley says, "you're so clever, how can someone so clever be so stupid."

The second season, the two of them couldn't reach a compromised solution and, in a clearly agonised overly emotional kiss (truly trying to express everything going on in his head and heart) Crowley is, once again, making an attempt to convince Aziraphale to stay with him. Before that kiss, Crowley said, "you idiot. We could have been 'us'". He also, fully outright rejected the idea of them going to heaven together.

The two of them, despite regular teasing, hold a high opinion of the other. They are a little unit, and they do have each others backs. They protect one another. Receiving an insult (a genuine comment that hurts or something that may feel like an emotionally-driven act) from a person you hold that dear can really hurt.

Crowley used the words "idiot" and "stupid". Plus, clearly, that kiss left Aziraphale in a state of shock and overwhelm. There were a LOT of emotions coarsing through him at that moment, and you can see him trying desperately to work his way through them as quickly as possible. Ideally, they would give each other time to figure things out. This is the most confrontation they've possibly ever had with one another and it's a lot to process. It's also terrifying that the person you care for most in this world can cause such high amounts of emotion.

But even with all those conflicting feelings, there's one thing that Aziraphale is good at: forgiveness. Even when he thought Crowley was about to kill Job's kids, he said 'may God forgive you'. It's how he handles those bigger emotions. How he handles shame, or guilt, or how he handles a strong difference of opinion

Another way to look at Aziraphale's choice to give Crowley forgiveness in this scenario, is like when someone uses the word "sorry" all the time to fix a conflict or an argument. It's used to swiftly resolve the issue and try to get your relationship back on good terms. But, with time, if the issues don't get resolved or addressed, those sorry's soon lose their meaning and you struggle to forgive and forget. You don't fully address the issue, and you're left still feeling irritated and unsatisfied. Eventually, you probably give up.

Have you ever heard the phrase "sometimes sorry isn't good enough"? Well, maybe the same could be said for forgiveness. Sometimes forgive and forget leaves you stagnant in your situation. And I think that Crowley has heard forgiveness from Aziraphale over and over and over. He's given out his fair share of sorry's, and it's been met with forgiveness. But so has everyone else -he even seems to have forgiven Gabriel who was emotionally abusive to the next level. Aziraphale's forgiveness, being offered to everyone, has less meaning now. Even if, in this last occasion, it meant so much more than the others.

It takes a strong heart to forgive in the heat of the moment, and I'm more than certain it was said out of that. To forgive, despite feeling so much pain and strong emotions from Crowley's actions, is a real show of heart courage and strength. And I do think that this 'forgiveness 'does mean so much more than the others (e.g. compared to Maggie's rent). But from Crowley's pov, it may be hard to see that.

For many of us, the default of wanting to patch it up and make it better is "sorry". For Aziraphale, it's the other end of it: forgiveness. But offering forgiveness after a heated moment like that kiss, rather than talking about it, is stubbornly separating yourself from the conflict, not resolving it.

I'm convinced that Aziraphale didn't want that to make Crowley leave. The little 'no' he mouth's as Crowley walks out clearly means he wanted the other to stay, that he didn't want them to separate. But Crowley doesn't want forgiveness. And like saying sorry, all that saying "I forgive you" did is just end the discussion.

Or I don't know, maybe he was just forgiving him for them breaking up idk my brain hurts from this show I swear

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 2:

Acting On Your Best Behaviour Ch 12:

Summary:

They'd seen it in their fellow orphans often enough to recognise the pattern and were now forced to admit, despite their hopes to the contrary, that Isidora had likely suffered similar side effects.

No… they'd always known she had. The Keeper had just wanted the power that Ranrok had, enough to convince themselves that they would be able to handle it better than that naive woman.

With the start of the Keeper’s sixth-year in Hogwarts, comes a whole slew of headache-inducing challenges from the most unexpected of places. Between insignificant pests throwing wrenches into their plans and tedious teenage drama, that the Keeper is entirely unprepared for, they wonder if they'll make it to their NEWTs without losing their sanity.

Or worse, Ominis or Sebastian.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

"I've been thinking." Sebastian hummed.

Warnings: More fluff!

Just some more sweetness before things get rocky again x3

I've been so busy the last few months, ah, tired. It's nice writing this though, I'm well aware that this isn't even 20% through the story I've got planned but it's nice to be writing regularly again, even if it's tiring x')

I hope that the few people still reading this are truly enjoying it, and I'm beyond grateful for the continued patience and support ♡

If even one person enjoys this long journey and finds it meaningful, then I'm happy to have worked hard on it all the way, and I look forward to seeing ya'll at the last chapter of the series when the day comes!

"Now, there's a surprise." Ominis quipped with a small smile.

"Well, he has been doing that more often these days." The Keeper chuckled as the three of them strolled across the castle battlements, enjoying the view from the top of the walls, and getting a feel for the layout.

"True." Ominis nodded concedingly, following the Keeper through the gatehouse door and sighing in relief at being out of the cold.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the teasing as he closed the door behind them. "Dìon isn't as big as Hogwarts but it still takes ages to get around. I was thinking it'd probably be useful to have portraits scattered around the castle for quick communication."

The Keeper raised their eyebrows. "That's a good idea, since portrait subjects can move from one frame to another in seconds."

Ominis nodded as well, leaning against a wall, and folding his arms. "We could train the portrait subjects to carry messages and keep a lookout. Good thinking, Sebastian."

"Why thank you." Sebastian grinned, dipping into a deep bow, before straightening when the Keeper snorted. "I suppose we just need to think of who we'd want portraits of."

"I'd probably want a portrait of Professor Fig, if the two of you don't mind." The Keeper hummed thoughtfully. "I can ask Professor Sharp if Fig had one that I could request a duplicate of."

"Of course, we wouldn't mind at all." Ominis smiled. "I was thinking of my aunt Noctua actually. I believe my family had a portrait of her commissioned, I'll see if I can get a copy from my father when I graduate."

"Don't forget to unlink your copy from your parents'. Wouldn't want her to move off Dìon grounds." Sebastian bumped shoulders with him companionably. "I have some photos of my parents, I'd probably want to commission a portrait of them too."

"I know an artist who specialises in painting from photographs, Malfoy mentioned her once, I'll owl her and make some enquiries." Ominis offered.

"Thank you." Sebastian leaned over to place a light kiss on Ominis' cheek and the Keeper smiled at the sight of his fair skin turning rosy.

"I'll probably move the Elder Keepers' portraits here as well, though I doubt they'll be very pleased with what I've decided to do with the Repository." The Keeper chuckled sardonically after a moment's thought.

Sebastian shrugged. "It's not like they were doing a very good job of it. If you hadn't come along when you did, their defences would have been ripped down by Ranrok."

"And Hogwarts would have been destroyed, probably with all of us still in it." Ominis nodded.

The Keeper shook their head. "I wonder why people keep hiding dangerous things in a bloody school. The mountains of forbidden books in the Restricted Section, the Repository-"

"Salazar's Scriptorium." Ominis added.

"And who knows what else." Sebastian finished.

"Honestly, you'd think it was a secret Gringotts' branch." The Keeper rolled their eyes. "Then again, I suppose it could be because the Elder Keepers were professors and a headmaster, and Slytherin was a Founder."

"Wonder if it's just Hogwarts attracting oddballs then." Sebastian mused. "To be fair, we've benefited a lot from all that forbidden knowledge in Hogwarts."

"Even so, it's a bit negligent of all these adults to put dangerous things in a building full of children." The Keeper rolled their eyes, and Ominis nodded in agreement, a grimace of consternation on his features.

"Well, at least that's not a problem for our castle." Sebastian shrugged.

"What do you mean? There's a child in this castle too." The Keeper smirked at Sebastian.

"Oh, come on." Sebastian sighed exaggeratedly while Ominis laughed lightly behind him.

"Alright, I think this section should be ready." Sebastian called out over his shoulder, as he held his wand over the wall of frozen soil before him, carefully spreading a steady stream of heat over it and encouraging it to soften.

"Careful with the temperature, Sebastian. We don't want to burn the soil." Ominis cautioned as the Keeper entered the underground development site through the elves’ room, digging through their satchel as they walked.

"Why are you worrying about me? They're the one about to carve out half a Quidditch pitch worth of earth." Sebastian frowned as he lowered his wand.

"No need to exaggerate, Sebastian. We'll be lucky if I manage a quarter." The Keeper chuckled as they withdrew an all too familiar jar and unstopped it.

"Well, I never said I wasn't worried about them." Ominis shot back with a raised eyebrow, before frowning as he heard the Keeper's shaky inhale. "...I am actually worried, please don't overexert yourself. Especially with…"

Ominis trailed off and Sebastian’s eyes gravitated to the unspoken source of Ominis' anxiety, as the Keeper inhaled red swirls of energy from the jar. The Keeper's iris began to glow, as though that angry crimson essence were bleeding from their eyes.

Sebastian swallowed, yeap, that sight was definitely doing something to him, he just wasn't sure he wanted to acknowledge it. So not the right time, he mentally scolded himself.

"Don't worry about me." The Keeper gave a low chuckle and gestured for Sebastian to move out of the way.

Which he obeyed immediately, and that had absolutely nothing to do with how sensual their raspy chuckle had sounded to his stupid horny brain.

The moment he was clear, the Keeper drew their wand, drawing their magic to themselves and coaxing the now red-tainted ancient magic within them to swell into a raging hurricane. It was a struggle just to hold the precise mental blueprint in their head, to keep it from drowning in the eye of the storm.

Sweat beaded on their brow at the surges of ancient magic swirling and bubbling around them, begging to be released. To run freely and wildly across anything it touched, ripping everything around them to shreds.

But, the Keeper wouldn't let their magic master them. No, they were the master here.

Envisioning the exact shape and size they needed, the Keeper threw their magic into the earthen wall before them in two diverging streams of pure cleaving force, cracking the bedrock, digging through the packed dirt and its dense frozen moisture. Their initial cut made easier by Sebastian softening the soil at the entry point, bending the magic to their will, and surrounding the entire block of land.

Just a bit further… they could feel their magic straining, protesting the vast distance it had been stretched and spread across. A troll was one thing, an entire field was another, but they persisted, their wand arm trembling from the strain of holding it steady.

The more they carved out today, the faster construction would progress. Forcing their magic just a few more meters, the Keeper finally closed the loop, connecting the twin streams of magic at the other side of the block.

With their magic outlining the region they wanted to change, the Keeper turned that magic inwards with a grunt of effort, disintegrating the entire mass of earth with a loud rumble, and reducing it to a cloud of smoke.

The Keeper gasped as they felt their remaining magic return to them, falling forwards from the rush of adrenaline and exhaustion from their magical exertion. Their fall was halted however, by Sebastian's timely embrace.

"And that's what we were worried about." Sebastian sighed as the Keeper panted heavily in his arms. "Easy there, there we go."

Sebastian carefully maneuvered the Keeper to sit down on a bench that they'd placed by the elves' temporary residence, Ominis following immediately as well.

"...'m fine." The Keeper’s chest heaved as they rest their head back against the wall, closing their eyes as they gasped for breath. The previously enclosed underground was now exposed to the open air, and they eagerly pulled the fresh cold breeze into their lungs.

"You most certainly do not sound fine, not by any measure of the word!" Ominis scolded exasperatedly as he folded his arms beside them.

"I said, I am fine. Just needed to catch my breath." The Keeper repeated firmly, opening their eyes, and pinning Ominis with a narrowed gaze.

Ominis frowned at the Keeper’s tone and opened his mouth to retort, when-

"Hello Fine, I'm Sebastian."

The Keeper and Ominis stared at Sebastian incredulously. The unexpected and unrelated statement causing both their thoughts to grind to a bewildered halt.

Sebastian grinned and shrugged. "What? Sounded like the two of you were about to get into a row over something as silly as a word's definition. So, I thought I'd do something about that."

The Keeper snorted and shook their head, while Ominis sighed concedingly. "Fair enough, I suppose Sebastian wouldn't be able to joke around if you didn’t look well."

"And I appreciate the concern, but I do hope you'd have more faith in my respect for your feelings." The Keeper smiled, taking Ominis by the hand and placing a kiss on the back of it.

"Smooth." Sebastian chuckled as Ominis flushed at the gesture.

"Oh, hush you, it's the cold I say." Ominis cleared his throat, before blinking in surprise when something colder touched his cheek. "Oh."

"Well, what do you know?" Sebastian grinned as he looked up. "A lovely day for snow indeed. Must have started while we were working."

The Keeper hummed as they looked up at the falling snow as well, not particularly concerned with the weather. Winter was always hard, and cold. Impartial, the only time where the bodies of dead were treated equally, from homeless adults to starving children. All blanketed in a coat of beautiful, pure white snow.

But they were warm now, with Sebastian and Ominis by their side, they needed nothing els-

The fine hairs on the Keeper's neck raised and they automatically flicked their wand, conjuring a shield with Protego. Only for a small white snowball to shatter into powder against the magical barrier, the protective field flickering out almost immediately due to their low magic levels.

"Aw, I thought I'd manage it this time, you were so far away." Sebastian laughed as he scooped up another handful of snow to replenish his ammunition, only for a snowball to slam into his face, knocking him backwards and onto his arse. "Gah!"

"Never let an opportunity to catch your enemy off guard slip by." Ominis chuckled as he waved his wand fluidly, three snowballs rotating in the air before him.

The Keeper shook their head with a smile. "I will agree with you there."

"Enemies, are we? Very well then, prepare yourself!" Sebastian grinned as he flung a snowball at Ominis, the white powder scattering as it smashed into one of the rotating orbs floating before him.

The Keeper laughed as Ominis shot another snowball at Sebastian with his wand and began to arm themselves as well. Digging their hands into the freshly fallen snow that was piling up on the bedrock they'd just unearthed.

A perfect battlefield, free of insects and roots, the bedrock untouched by nature, an empty arena carved into the face of the hilltop. The Keeper considered their options on this level playing field and hastened to the other side of the arena, placing their back against the wall as their snowballs trailed after them through the air.

Hearing the Keeper's movements, Ominis spun around, flinging two snowballs at them with his wand. The Keeper dodged, reaching behind them for a snowball and chucking it at Ominis' leg, causing him to stumble as he chased them.

"Aha! Chance!" Sebastian cackled. As Ominis regained his balance, Sebastian took the opportunity to fire at the Keeper and they rolled quickly, before tossing one at him as well.

The Keeper found themselves laughing when Ominis' snowball hit Sebastian as he tried to dodge their own, the sound he made as he went down reminding them of their first duel.

"This can't be your first snow fight!" Sebastian let out a groan from under the thin layer of snow that was starting to pile on top of him.

"Let's just say I'm a quick learner." The Keeper smirked as they twisted to dodge a shot from Ominis.

“Well then, I suppose class is in session today.” Ominis grinned as he fired another two snowballs in rapid succession.

“Think you've got something to teach me?” The Keeper chuckled as they dug their ancient magic into the ground under their feet again, this time displacing a chunk of earth and pulling it upwards into a short makeshift barricade to duck behind.

Ominis took the opportunity to make several more snowballs, knowing that the Keeper was likely doing the same on the other side.

"Indeed, your first lesson, is to give your opponent no chance to recover their arms, for snow lays about aplenty!" Ominis braced a hand on the barricade, using the leverage to sling a barrage of snowballs over it and upon the Keeper.

To his surprise however, the Keeper was not behind the barrier, having slipped around the side, taking the chance to pin Ominis against the barricade from behind.

"I think you might have mistaken this teacher for a student." The Keeper purred in his ear, feeling him shiver from more than the cold.

Ominis huffed a shaky breath with a smile. "Oh, whatever shall I do?"

The Keeper made to reply, when suddenly the snow pile beside them erupted in a shower of white powder, and the Keeper, as well as Ominis, were tackled to the floor by Sebastian.

The three landed in a soft snowy cloud of flakes and Sebastian lifted his head with a wide grin, as his two partners lay under his arms, enjoying the rare, startled expression on the Keeper's face.

"Aha!" Sebastian laughed jubilantly, his cheeks flushed from the cold. "And that's lesson two, never underestimate the element of surprise!"

The Keeper chortled while Ominis shook his head, placing a hand on Sebastian's cheek. "Merlin’s beard, you're freezing, you nutter!"

Sebastian merely snuggled closer with an unrepentant grin, his hair damp from the melted snow and clinging to his freckled forehead as he winked. "Can't freeze with partners this hot."

Ominis promptly shovelled a handful of snow over Sebastian's head. "That's it. You need to cool your head off!"

"Aw come on, that was a good one!" Sebastian protested, rolling to the side to hide behind the Keeper.

The Keeper shook their head at the two's antics, allowing themselves to relax into the snow and catch their breath. They'd never felt quite so carefree before, and they savoured the new sensation.

Ominis huffed in mock annoyance before following their lead and lounging on his side, propping his head up with an arm, while Sebastian rested his head on the Keeper's shoulder.

Sebastian sighed contentedly, unbothered by the cold as he basked in that nearly forgotten joy of play fighting in snow with family.

Family…

Without much thought, Sebastian spoke the feelings that weighed on his heart. "We used to play in the snow, our parents, Anne and I."

Ominis wore a sad smile as Sebastian continued. "After our parents… Anne and I hadn't the heart to play for some years. Till we became friends with Ominis, then it was the three of us."

"I didn't know how to snow fight either." Ominis chuckled nostalgically.

Sebastian grinned fondly. "We had to find a way for Ominis to make snowballs with his wand so he could see while firing."

The Keeper nodded in understanding, running a hand through Sebastian's now frosty hair, combing the icy flakes from it. "That's quite a skill, Ominis."

"Why, thank you." Ominis hummed, trailing a finger thoughtfully through the snow.

"Things were simpler then." Sebastian murmured, his tone becoming melancholic. "Anne was simpler then…"

The Keeper craned their head downwards to place a kiss on the top of Sebastian's head, gripping his shoulder comfortingly in silent support. There was nothing they could say, nor did the Keeper feel like they had any place to.

Ominis remained silent too for a few moments, before hesitantly suggesting. "Would it help? To have that Anne back."

Sebastian lifted his head to look at Ominis, tipping it to the side in confusion. "That Anne?"

"Yes… the version of Anne before the curse." Ominis shifted uneasily. "I was thinking that, perhaps we could have a portrait made of her when she was younger. We could feed it our memories of Anne from before."

The Keeper's eyes widened. "Train it to imitate that youthful and innocent Anne."

Ominis nodded nervously, waiting anxiously for Sebastian to speak and grant him an idea of what effect his suggestion'd had.

Sebastian remained silent from shock for a few more seconds.

"I-" Sebastian's jaw flailed. "I never thought of doing something like that."

Ominis nodded mutely and the Keeper simply watched Sebastian's face, trying to read his reaction.

"I- I suppose, well, I'm not sure." Sebastian stammered for a moment before a hopeful smile began to spread across his face. "But… I think it’s worth a try."

With his agreement, Ominis relaxed with a quiet sigh and the Keeper nodded. "I think that's a fine idea."

Ominis' eyes widened in surprise. "Really? I thought you might disapprove."

The Keeper shrugged. "I have nought against Anne, I don't necessarily like her after what she's done, but anything that keeps either of you happy is agreeable to me."

"Then, we should look through our photos and pick some good ones for the artist." Sebastian’s face lit up with excitement. "Ominis, do you remember that one I took of her when we were making snow angels?"

"Snow angels?" The Keeper tipped their head to the side in confusion.

"Wait, you don't know what snow angels are!?" Sebastian exclaimed with a scandalised gasp.

"Oh my." Ominis giggled lightly as Sebastian dragged the Keeper to their feet. Using his wand to glance around, Ominis swished it, summoning a gust of wind to push the coat of snow that covered the ground, piling them together.

Sebastian grinned at his quick thinking and dragged the Keeper over to a pile of snow that looked sufficiently thick enough for a snow angel.

"This is absolutely unacceptable, we must postpone our snow fight lesson to enlighten you." Sebastian stood before the snow pile, cleared his throat, and sternly raised a finger. "Now, the most important step is the first, observe carefully. Tradition requires that we begin like so!"

Sebastian then spread his arms to the side and flopped down backwards into the snow. The Keeper watched in amusement as Sebastian's weight dropped him several inches into the layers of soft fluffy powder, where he lay grinning up at them like a loon and as though he'd accomplished some great feat.

"The next step is to move your arms to create wings for your snow angel, as well as your legs to illustrate their robes!" Sebastian continued, beginning to move as described, creating the silhouette of an angel in the snow.

"I see." The Keeper chuckled, finding his theatrics rather adorable and glanced over at Ominis who was still lounging on the soft snow comfortably. "I assume you also took this class?"

"Indeed, and I will have you know that I passed my finals with flying colours." Ominis raised his chin proudly and the Keeper laughed at how seriously their partners were taking this.

"That he did, and now!" Sebastian sprung up from the spot, waving at the immaculate snow angel on the ground. "It's your turn!"

The Keeper snorted, they couldn't believe they were doing this, but his enthusiasm was infectious, and they didn't want to spoil the moment. So, they cast their eyes over the ground, spotting a suitable mound just off to the left and stood with their back to it.

"Well, I suppose I can fall for you again." The Keeper smirked, relishing the delight on Sebastian's face at their terrible joke.

"Oh Merlin, not you too!" Ominis groaned.

The Keeper smiled, spread their arms, closed their eyes, and with the sound of air rushing past their ears, allowed this inexplicable force of nature, these terrifying yet exhilarating feelings to guide their path.

They really had fallen indeed.

"Master looks happy!" Tibsy squeaked cheerfully as she peeked, over the parchment of blueprints in her hands, at the three teenagers playing in the snow.

"Yes…" Tynx agreed absently, staring in disbelief at the large and perfectly cut, gaping hole that the Keeper had carved out of the earth in a split second.

That they still had the energy to sprint around and play fight, was absolutely ridiculous. Their master had done in one second, a job that would have taken the two elves at least a week to accomplish with such precision, and they were still a human child!

Sure, the elves could probably dig such a large crater in a day, but it wouldn't have been nearly so clean and square. It was almost smooth enough on the sides and corners to be walled up immediately.

Tynx swallowed nervously.

What sort of monster were he and Tibsy bound to!?

Notes:

The word 'square' means 'right-angled' in engineering speak, and a quarter of a Quidditch pitch is roughly around 513 square metres. Which is actually pretty darn big, I'm a bit worried that I made it too impressive but to be fair, Sebastian made an army of Inferi all by his lonesome with one tiny relic.

The Keeper's literally taking magic steroids xD Also, magical portraits apparently work more similarly to Artificial Intelligence like Character AI or ChatGPT, than having any actual connection to the painting's subject, unlike ghosts.

As such, Hogwarts Headmasters and Headmistress would basically have their portrait painted when they took up the post, and then spend their tenure in the position training their portrait to behave and think like them, so as to impart their wisdom to future Headmasters/mistresses.

I thought that this was fascinating. So, I'm going to play so hard with this concept in this fic. Our kids have pensives so they can reasonably train the portraits from Sebastian's memories.

Though, of course, memories are pretty subjective, so who knows if painting!Anne would end up being similar to the original at all...

We don't have much else in way of information on magical paintings, so I'll be making up stuff like I did with the Underage restriction and Gringotts, hopefully the ideas I have will feel cool xD

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol7

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1 Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1 Vol02 Part 2 |

Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 |

Vol06 | Vol07

Thoughts on Vol07! Kinda spoilery for vol8 in my analysis, but you all probably already read this anyway :)

Definitely the "mom looks right through this shit" look

Little Knives just wanting to be accepted, being so afraid of rejection that he cries out of relief! Sweet little guy, what happened to you :(

(little note to the stampede version: I love Stampede very very much, though the one detail where I would have liked them to stay closer to the manga is making you Knives the more vulnerable one. In Stampede I think they are putting more emphasis on his love for his brother, and his feeling of duty to protect him as the "older" and "only one with powers". That his whole acting later is a result of his fear, of him being scared and answering with violence as the only solution he can think of. I like that in the manga a lot, because it's giving his character so much complexity! But, I'm very eager to see what they will do with Knives in s2 of Stampede!)

2 creechures

Vash is noticing how dusty this part of the ship is. Also, at first I thought these were their footsteps, but because of the way the feet ar moving and how the steps point in different positions, I guess it's Rem's footprints in the dust he's seeing!

Oh look! The eyes of all the people they had been looking forward to meeting earlier, now piercing them with their cold and cruel stares!

Vash, too weak to protest but not wanting to be saved. And probably touched by a human in this moment, even if it's Rem : (

Looking so much like a cornered animal here...

I'm gonna repeat it like others have already said...doesn't this sound all too familiar to what Vash once said to Wolfwood? Also insane mom instinct by Rem to just grab the knife without blinking to stop Vash from stabbing himself.

Chills on this page!

Rich coming from the one who's the most afraid of all. Also love this change in the atmosphere suddenly...and Vash is noticing some behaviour change, and that it's not good, but he also doesn't know what it means (how could he though) and what to do...he's just a kid!

These two pages directly following each other (right first, then left) are just...so poetic. Beautifully cruel.

THANK YOU WOLFWOOD for trying to lift his spirits!

Then we get the two nice seeming criminals that they save from the rope. This little fun get-together before all comes down, is really something Vash needed...just some people who don't care what he did.

And then we get this page, also one I really like.

Tell us your secrets, lonesome cowboy.

That scene before making every first-time reader go staring in shock at the pages before turning to this one. And Wolfwood...not wanting to burden Vash with his worries or whatever that was!! DDD: Course Vash noticed, his looks says enough and the blank space of the panel where his back is turned to us indicates so as well. Those two. I will properly start with my Vashwood yearning with my vol08 recap (this just as a possible warning) but oooough.

Elendira having no fun in gutting people??? Can't have that, can we.

This is such a pretty drawing, also giving me feels of religious paintings or sculptures.

I want a spinoff with just the Gung Ho Guns crew, much like the Organization XIII in the Kingdom Hearts manga looks like an assembly of poorly organized idiots.

Awesome pages and speech. Vash must be one of the dearest characters ever created in existence.

Oh, his Knives senses are tingling!

And with the end of Vol7 we are being thrown into an age of chaos and despair! Yay!

[cruelsister-moved]

ngl women are allowed to be uncomfortable with the internalised misogny of other women / gay people are allowed to be uncomfortable with the internalised homophobia of other gay people etc. i feel like theres a very moralistic focus on "supporting women with internalised misogny" - and obviously it would be wrong to mock or abandon a woman because she is struggling with it, and i do think there are certain people that actually really enjoy being cruel to women with internalised misogny.

HOWEVER, women are very capable of perpetuating misogny and it can be very uncomfortable for other women to be around, and i feel like "support women with internalised misogny" has sort of become a woke way of saying "stop pitting queens against eachother!!". it's partially the general misunderstanding that support and solidarity dont necessarily mean just being best pals, and partially moralistic purity that insists on upholding marginalised people no matter what.

[borderlinereminders]

my fp ghosted me a year and a half ago and i still think about her and ruminate about what happened every day. there was no closure. therapy hasn't helped, though most of the ones i've seen aren't familiar with the concept of an fp. i don't know how to move on. i feel like i'll only be able to if i get closure from her. what can i do? i tried really hard to encourage open communication and for her to tell me if i was ever too much and she would always tell me she was happy and felt like (1/?)

she could tell me anything. she said she didn't have to walk on eggshells and promised she'd never leave. she insisted our relationship was healthy and didn't want anything to change even knowing she was my fp. i've spent all this time trying to understand why this happened and picking apart my memories and missing her and i'm so sick of it and desperate to move on.

Hi anon,

First of all, this sounds incredibly difficult. I'm very sorry you're having to go through this. I really can't comment much on the friendship itself with such limited information, but what I can say is that it sounds really hard. Why she didn't communicate, we will likely never know. She may have felt afraid of hurting you and it got to be too much, or she may have been going through her own stuff and couldn't figure out how to navigate your friendship anymore or any number of things. 

As much as this isn't what you want to hear, you're going to have to find a different way to get closure. I know that sounds impossible, but it's not. I promise. It will likely be really hard but you can get closure and move on.

If you haven't already, I think one of the first steps is to really feel your emotions. Quit trying to bury them if you are, and really feel them. It's okay to grieve the loss.

Next, it's time to accept it. She's gone. And it's hard but it's time to let go. Wondering "what if" and wishing for a different outcome can be okay to think about in passing, but it's important to not get stuck on that.

Make a decision to move forward. I know it might sound impossible. But you need to tell yourself "I'm moving forward." I'm guessing from the sounds of it that you don't want to stay stuck in this place.

Some ideas to help with the “letting go” part 

Write a letter to her, and tear it up after. 

Do some sort of “letting go” ritual, whatever that means to you. 

Plan something fun that is exciting and you can look forward to

Remove any physical reminders (if there any) from your space. You could also go a bit beyond this and recreate your space to be “new” if it was a place you talked to her a lot or just want to do it for a feeling of a fresh start. There are a lot of ways you can change things up in your space with little money, and I’m happy to share tips about changing a room/place to seem “new” if it holds bad feelings/memories. 

Delete any screenshots/messages (if you think there’s a chance you could need them for whatever reason, save them somewhere less accessible to you. It was so hard for me to do, but deleting the screenshots I’d saved from an ex FP felt like a weight was being lifted.)

If you continue to go to her profiles, or however you spoke to her to check up on her, work on stopping that behaviour. 

Express your emotions through an art of some sort, whether it’s journaling or drawing/painting, etc. 

Work on forming new friendships. 

I know it’s not a quick fix, but I hope something here is helpful. Remind yourself that you can get through this. You had a life without her before, and you can have one again now. 

[needsnalu]

417: Lone Journey 2

There are a lot of debates regarding this chapter about being a NALU moment or not. But it's safe to assume that it's something reagrding incidents which happened in Tartarus Arc.

I wanna point out that, Natsu's behaviour in this panel is quite cheerful. Like he usually acts around. He met Gildarts in the middle of the forest and had a good time with him.

They had a fun battle as usual lol, Natsu didn't show a single sign of sadness. He was continuing his usual antics.

We even saw Happy acting pretty normal. Doing what they'd do if they were in the guild. Nothing new...

It was clear that they were slowly moving on from Igneel's death and Natsu was looking forward to the future just as Igneel said.

And then at night, Gildarts woke up and saw Natsu wasn't there. Which was pretty much surprising as Natsu is someone who loves to sleep. Him, not being in his "bed" in the middle of the night is not normal.

What I think is, in this panel Natsu was conflicted about something and he was surprised to see Gildarts. The look on Gildarts's face was as if he was telling Natsu that he should share what was bothering him and that Gildarts will be there to listen to him and he'll help him if needed. It's natural for him as he has always been a father-figure to Natsu.

When Igneel died right before Natsu's eyes, he told him to look forward to the future. And Natsu instantly made the decision to train for 1 year.

He wasn't in the right mind to talk to anybody about how that affected him. We don't even see him interacting to anybody after Igneel appeared. He didn't tell his decision to anybody, let alone Lucy. But he left a note only for her. Which means he wanted others to know that he'll be back within a year, especially her. He didn't want her to feel like he left her(and the guild members). He even considered that note as an important will which he gave only to her. It shows who Natsu values more in his life.

Now I would've surely said that it was something about Igneel's death if Natsu's expressions weren't like this. I mean in the first panel, he looks conflicted and it's almost like he doesn't know what to say next. And then he blushes and we all can tell from his facial expression that he's a bit embarassed and guilty.

If we see this from a normal perspective, it felt like(to me genuinely) that he was feeling guilty about leaving to train without confronting anyone, especially Lucy. He was trying to come up with excuses as to why he did that or maybe he was trying to say how he felt about that but then ultimately he couldn't hold back his guilt. It also may be that he didn't wanna talk to anybody about what happened or didn't wanna face anyone so he left without saying a single word. Because I honestly don't think it was about Igneel's death, I mean it's related to that but not exactly the same.Gildarts might've asked him about his sudden training which led to that.

Again, we can assume that he was particularly thinking about leaving Lucy despite there's no solid proof about this claim. But Lucy was obviously a part of this convo(he's the closest to her as I said earlier) if my assumption is correct about his guilt(leaving without a single word).

Although I don't think it's gonna happen but it would be great if Mashima decides to remember this chapter and Natsu's alone time with Gildarts in 100 Years Quest. It can be used as a good development point for NaLu. He can do that even after making them canon- like after getting together with Lucy, Natsu somehow remembers what Gildarts told him about his feelings that time(only if Mashima plans it lol).

Anyways! I'm sorry for taking so long to post this👀

And guyssssss make ナツルー Natsurū tag alive again!!!!

[interlunium-opus]

"I hate him spending time with you more than I hate running so you know, priorities." [ Jay. ]

[ Jay | fluff ]

Author’s Note: Here's a fluff in response to the following request "Can you maybe do a fluff/crack for Jay where maybe he felt a little jealous when you praised someone for their skill and he immediately goes competitive mode and openly tries to show how he's far better indirectly to the guy?" Hope it's close to what you have in mind and hope you like it :3

“Do you have anything to explain to me?”

You jumped, startled, as Jay appeared beside you while you were busy shoving your textbooks into your locker, “Jay! What did I say about sneaking up on people?”

“And what did I say about not keeping secrets between us?” Jay snapped back, arms crossed, brows raised, “Is this how much our friendship is worth?”

“My goodness, what is it this time?” You sighed as he fished his phone out of his pocket, turning it to show you a candid picture of you and Sunghoon from last night.

“I mean seriously, of all people to date, you have to go for this pretentious prick?” Jay scoffed before gesticulating wildly, “Look, I know I said that you need to stop being aromantic and start planting some sort romantic interest somewhere — but Sunghoon is just ain't it. In fact ! I’d rather you date the spawn of the devil, Jungwon, instead.”

You snorted a laugh before shaking your head dismissively, “Dude, we were just running last night okay? Does that even look like a date to you?”

“Okay,” he repeated sarcastically, “but you love running alone! So why are you suddenly running with someone — and not just anyone but this prick???”

“I really don’t get why you two hate each other so much,” you raised an eyebrow at Jay, “Look we just happened to bump into each other last night and since we were heading the same way, he asked if I don’t mind him tagging along for the remainder of the way — no big deal.”

“Ughh, that’s the oldest trick in book,” Jay scrunched his face, “And you said yes?”

“I mean — we’re not exactly strangers, we have been in the same tutorial class together for more than a year now," you mumbled as you zip your bag up, "He's a good running partner too. His pace was so stable and steady that it made me stuck to mine as well — I mean, duh, he's an athlete after all."

"Hey, I can run well too," Jay grumbled defensively, "You know if you needed a running partner, you could've called me right?"

“Maybe if you were as fit as I am, she would have,” Sunghoon suddenly appeared beside Jay, peering over his shoulder to look at the picture on his phone, “That’s a good picture of me and y/n — no wonder you got jealous.”

“Speak of the devil,” Jay rolled his eyes, “Aren't you a bit too greedy over what I have? first, you took up my spot for the dance competition and now you're trying to make a move on my girl."

"Jay, that was 2 years ago — get over it. You've taken my spot afterwards for the Summer competition anyway so we're actually even," Sunghoon retorted, "Also, she's not your girlfriend anyway so your territorial behaviour is pretty misplaced."

"Guys, cut it out," you shut your locker close with extra force in an effort to shut the squabbles, "Also, why am I suddenly dragged into your petty fights."

"Right sorry about that, he's just always trying to pick a fight with me," Sunghoon shook his head dismissively before turning to you and beamed, "Just stopping by to ask if you're running again tonight 'cause I would love to join again. It’s off season for ice-skating so I thought it's the perfect time to get back to running again."

“Oh? Yeah I am going tonight as well, just a tad bit late in the evening though. I want to finish up some work at the library first,” you smiled back at Sunghoon, ignoring Jay’s burning stare, “You know you can start ahead if you want — don’t want you waiting too long in case I'll take too much time at the library.”

“I’ll go when you go, don’t worry,” he reassured as he backed away, joining Heeseung who was waiting for him, “I’ll text you alright? Looking forward to tonight!”

You nodded and waved at him before turning to Jay, “What?”

“That’s it,” Jay clasped his hands together, “I’ll run with you tonight — and the next.”

“Jay, don’t be ridiculous, you hate running,” you emphasized, “which is why I never asked you to run with me.”

“Hey — I can love running if it’s for you,” he winked, wrapping an arm over your shoulders, dragging you past the crowded hallway towards your next class, “Or let me paraphrase: I hate him spending time with you more than I hate running so you know, priorities.”

“your priorities are all skewed then," you clicked your tongue, "Well, as long as you don't hurt yourself."

_________________________________________________________________________

The next morning however Jay did not show up in Modern Political Thought seminar that you guys have every Thursday morning. Though the guy is such a sleepyhead, he never misses a class even when he pulled up an all-nighter the night before. So this sudden absence, paired with the fact that he managed to run a whole 5km without stopping last night, was sowing seeds of suspicions and guilt within you. To make things worse, he did not even respond to any of your messages for the last 5 hours.

That was why you ended up being in front of Jay's apartment instead of having your lunch that noon. "Hi!" you immediately say as the door of Jay's apartment opened. It was Jake, his flatmate, with his lids only half-opened and hair all disheveled, "y/n?"

"Sorry for waking you up Jake," you smiled apologetically, "Is Jay home? He missed a Politics seminar this morning and he didn’t respond to my text at all — just wanna make sure he’s alright.”

“mmhmm, pretty sure he’s in," he answered drowsily before yawning, "but probably, still hibernating.”

“Oh okay, do you mind if I come in?”

Jake nodded, backing up as he held the door open, “Of course, come in — it’s messy though.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you reassured, making your way towards the room at the end of the hallway. As you knocked on his door, Jake suddenly shouted from the kitchen, “don’t bother knocking y/n — that guy sleeps like a log. Just go in.”

“Uhh…” you bit your lip, slightly hesitating but relented when your subsequent knocks yielded no answer.

“Jay? I’m entering okay?” you say as you let yourself in, carefully navigating around the dark room, stumbling a few times against some random furnitures.

"Jake, get out okay-" you hear him grumble from underneath the covers, tossing the other way, "just let me... sleep mo..re."

As you neared his bed, you reached over to his bedside table and turned on the lamp. Suddenly, Jay rose from the covers, his hand gripping your wrist, grunting "Jake what did I just say-"

Trailing off, he looked at you with brows furrowed in a mix of annoyance and confusion, before his expressions gradually soften "y/n?"

"dude, you almost gave me a heart attack," you muttered, sighing exasperatedly.

"Sorry, I thought it was Jake trying to disturb me again," he softened his grip and rubbed your wrist as if he had just hurt it, "Did I hurt you?"

"My heart, almost but my hand is fine," you pulled your hand away, "How about you?"

"What about me?"

"You missed class this morning," you crossed your arms.

"It's just one class, no big deal. I just overslept-"

"Is that all?" you raised an eyebrow before pointing at the crumpled muscle relief patch packs and pain relief creams strewn messily across his bedside table, "Did someone overexert himself last night?"

"Fine, I didn't come to class partly because my legs are sore," he shrugged, "but hey, I ran as much as Sunghoon did! Aren't you proud of me?"

"Not if it's at the cost of your legs!" you replied exasperatedly, "Come on, where is the rational Jay that I know? he wouldn't have let his competitiveness and ego cloud his judgements like this."

"It's just normal post-workout sore, I've had it a couple of times before," he reassured, "Also, I may hate running. But I'm actually good at HIIT and strength training so I'm not all that unfit as you think I am. Or he thinks."

"All that just so you can prove him wrong?"

"No of course not, I couldn't care less about him," he huffed, "I just wanted you to know that I can pace well with you too."

"Jay, that does not make it any better-"

"Probably also to convince you that I make a better running partner than Sunghoon," he sniggered.

"Well, guess what, you can't run if your legs are hurt," you quipped.

"Oh shit, that's true," he muttered under his breath, "Well post-workout sore usually last between 3-7 days so I'll be good as new after that. Running partners?" he stretched his hand out as if asking for a handshake.

You sighed, grabbing his outstretched hand, shaking it as if you guys are signing on a pact, "Only if you promise not to overexert yourself next time."

"Promise," his smile widened, "Have you had lunch? I'll cook something up for you."

"Your legs are hurt though."

"They're sore not hurt," Jay emphasized, scooting to the edge of his bed, "Also even if they are hurt, I cook with my hands not legs so..."

You chuckled, "Well sir, if you insists."

"Of course, wouldn't let my girl go out of this house famished," he wrapped an arm over your shoulder, grinning gleefully.

[infernal-fire]

I love your dark Jake Jensen and I have a request for him, so the team gets in contact with reader for supplies for a mission an Jensen feels a spark between them so he makes every excuse to talk to reader to the point the team teased but helps him out with his grand scheme to get with reader but they don't know how far he'd go to make reader his ☺️💕 thanks

I love a good dark!jake fic!! I have changed the specifics a litttllle bit so i hope this is alright :)

Warnings: implied noncon/dubcon, some creepy behaviour, mention of stalking, drugging, mention of breeding kink

Summary: 5 days; that’s how long it takes him to become fixated on you.

Wc: 2k 

You’re My Delusion

They could have gone to any supplier. Fate would have it that Aisha wanted you, and only you. 

The melodious tune of a piano ringtone chimed in your bag. You ask the other daycare teacher to take over for you and picked up the phone: Unknown Number. You watched the phone ring until the line went dead and resumed your day. 

It may have been an ‘unknown number’, but your subconscious unequivocally knew who it was. Grumbling at the thought of being contacted again, you twisted the handle to your condo. Of course, you didn’t bat an eye when there was an envelope on your countertop, one that you didn’t put there; Aisha knew that you knew the phone would ring again, and if you didn’t answer, she would pay you a visit.

When Unknown Number flashed across your screen for the second time that day, you considered letting it go to voicemail again, but picked up anyway. 

“Aisha.”

“Y/N.”

“If you’re gonna ask me for an assist-”

Aisha cut you off. “I know you don’t do missions anymore. We need a safe house that’s off the books.”

“Who’s we?”

“They’re all men.” As if on cue, you heard someone guffaw in the background. “It’s making me lose my goddamn mind,” she elucidated. 

“You know I don’t really do this stuff anymore,” you huffed, “But I’m making an exception this one time. For you.” You could hear Aisha let out a squeal of happiness, and realized how bad it must be if she uncharacteristically showed excitement.

//

While cleaning up your old warehouse-turned-safehouse, Aisha’s words echoed in the back of your head. “Some of them are a little... bulky. Let them sleep on the floor.” You tried to protest, asking her, what’s the point of a safehouse if they aren’t resting well, but she dismissed the question. “Trust me. They’re nothing more than cavemen.”

It was 4 AM; foot tapping impatiently and sipping on the third coffee of the night, you smacked your forehead in frustration. It was way past bedtime. After living alongside Aisha for years, anyone would appreciate nights that consist of 8 hours of sleep. 

You could certainly appreciate it. Being a daycare teacher, living in a civilian condominium and not engaging in government work was something you couldn’t take for granted. Not after all the shit you’ve seen. 

3 brusque knocks sounded on the metal door to your right. Your head snapped to the source, waiting for Aisha to call out the code word. 

“LOSERS!” a voice hollered from the other side. You trudged to the door, trying to shake off the dizziness that came with standing up too fast. 

Opening the door with caution, you had only blinked a few times before a body pulled you into a tight embrace.

“You’re never this excited to see me. That bad, huh,” you sneered. 

“You have no idea.” Aisha pulled out of the hug and turned to face the men who had lined up nearby. 

“So… who’s this?” The guy with dirty blonde hair, nerd glasses and a horrible sense of fashion piped up. His whole appearance was an oxymoron to his build - muscles protruded out of the bright pink shirt that hugged him like a second skin. On the other hand, you couldn’t imagine him as anything more than a harmless golden retriever.

“Don’t ask as if you don’t know Jensen,” Aisha groused. You could practically hear her roll her eyes. 

“What’s your name, darling?” another guy spoke. He exuded the energy of a leader; you looked him straight in the eyes and gave him your name. 

The golden retriever repeated your name as if to try out the taste of it on his tongue. You gave him a lopsided, close-mouthed smile and asked Aisha for her teammates’ names. 

“You don’t need to learn their names.” She stalked off, unwilling to be a part of the conversation any longer. 

The guy you had assumed was the leader sighed at her attitude before introducing himself as ‘Clay’. He pointed at each person and gave you their titles. 

“Okay so you’re Clay, that’s Cougar, Roque,” you skipped over Jake, “and Pooch.” 

“Me?” Jake softly inquired.

The rest of the team began picking up their things and walking away, but not before Pooch nudged Jensen with his shoulder and winked. The puppy-like man flushed in response and rubbed the nape of his neck.

“What about you?” you asked once you were alone. 

“You didn’t say my name.” 

“I know it’s Jake… but can I call you ‘daddy’ instead?” 

He froze up, looking at you like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Relax Jakey,” you put a hand on his chest, “I’m only teasing.” You winked and strutted away, snickering to yourself at how he looked like he was about to pass out.

The entire team was trying to egg you and Jensen on. Well, not the entire team. 

Aisha and Roque couldn’t care less, and Cougar did nothing more than smirk at your playful banter. 

Often, Jensen would start a conversation that would escalate quickly, your witty dialogue interrupting his rationale. You thought it was adorable how he didn’t know how to respond; a guy like him could have fantastic game, but he was too much of a sweetheart, not the mention, way too awkward. 

One particular night, you let down your guard, just enough to actually get to know him. 

“You seem like a really supportive uncle,” you commented at his excitement for his niece’s next soccer game. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I wish my parents would have done this for me.”

“Done what?”

“You know… Tell me they’re proud of me.”

“Well Jake... I think you should know, that I’m proud of you for everything you’re doing for the country.”

Jake looked up at you, sporting the signature look of the uncertainty of how to respond. It didn’t take a genius to be able to tell that he wasn’t used to being praised. 

“Thank you. That means a lot more than you know,” he quietly responded. 

The rest of the night was spent in a solemn, yet understanding silence, one that both of you were oddly comfortable with. 

Unfortunately, that would also be the last time you saw him. 

Or so you think. 

The mission went sour, and for the first time since retirement, you wished you had assisted. Maybe if you assisted, the mission wouldn’t have gone south. Maybe if you assisted... you would have been able to say goodbye. 

Without even realizing it, Jake had burrowed a little hole into your heart. You hoped life could go on with the little leak in your pump. Regardless, there is no time for sulking; after all, no amount of reminiscing would change the way things happened.

It had been months after Aisha and the team went back into hiding but you were faring well. Life as you knew it had continued without a trace of the burly, soft man-baby. You almost forgot about the ordeal, up until that day. Perhaps it was fate that had you switch the TV on at that time. You would never know.

A team of rogue CIA agents, presumed to be dead, have now infiltrated a crime branch operating within the US government. They have been pardoned from their status as “Enemies of State” but can no longer work for the CIA taskforce, as their identities have been indefinitely compromised. 

You blinked at the screen, watching Aisha’s name and picture appear. Subsequently, there was Clay, Pooch, Jensen, Cougar and Roque. You were happy for them.

Pooch could go back home to his wife. It was hard to imagine what it must have been like for the missus; pregnant and alone. Though you didn’t know Pooch that well, you knew he was a good partner and husband. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your front door shutting and clicking in place. Your hand frantically pressed the ‘volume up’ button on the TV as you hurled for the handgun under your pillow. 

Sliding to the wall beside the door, you cautiously peered into the dark hallway and made out a large figure. You huffed quietly before appearing in the doorframe with your gun pointing straight at the mystery guy. At this point, you had a good idea of who it was, but you wanted to mess with him anyway. “Hands up, and not another step forward.” 

He tried to speak, but you cut him off. 

“Don’t. speak,” you punctuated each word. Reaching for the light switch, you flipped on the hallway light. The dim light revealed your golden retriever standing there with his eyes wide open in fear. 

“Don’t shoot?” he said, like a question. 

You grinned and tucked the gun into your waistband.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I should come see you.” 

“You could have knocked, like a normal person.”

He shrugged sheepishly. 

“How do you know where I live?” you questioned. To that, he fiddled with his fingers and looked down. 

“Only Aisha knows this place. And I know she would have never told you.” You intently stared at him while leaning into the nearest wall and folding your arms.

Jake didn’t want to tell you that he had been stalking you. Every spare moment he had during the remainder of the mission was spent tracking you. After a few weeks, it felt as though you had moved on. It pained him, to say the least.

“I- uhm,” he looked up at you and took a step forward, “Hey, I just-...” He stopped when you reached for your handgun again, now wary of his intentions.

He put his hands back up. 

“I wanted to ask you out properly.”

“What do you mean ‘properly’? We were never going out, to begin with.”

Before you understood the spur of movement, Jake lunged for you and plucked the handgun out of your pyjama’s waistband, throwing it over the railing of your staircase. You tried to kick him, but he pricked you without giving you a moment to react. 

“What did you give me?” You clutched your neck in the spot he sunk the needle. 

“I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to do that,” he exhaled. He tried to hold you, but you weakly pushed him off, still trying to recover from the shock of his betrayal. 

“Takes 5 minutes to really work,” he scratched his neck. 

Then there was the fight. You gave it your all but with no weapon or leverage, you were going up against 200 pounds of pure muscle who was hell-bent on restraining you for some reason. 

2 minutes into the fight, you began to really feel the effects of whatever he gave you. He point-blank caught a punch that you tried to drill into his sternum. You look up at him incredulously, unable to still believe that he was trying to take you down right now. 

At last, he snapped. 

“Listen to me,” he grasped both your hands.

You momentarily struggled, but your shoulders slumped and you gave up on trying to free your wrists. 

“How could you move on without me?” he asked, attempting to look you in your eyes. You wouldn’t meet them. 

“Jake, you are delusional! I barely had a crush on you for 5 days,” you cried, letting the wetness spread over your cheeks freely. At this point, it was clear, what he was here for. 

“You should know, those 5 days were some of the best in my 29 years of living. I want that for the rest of my life.”

“Why couldn’t you have done this like a normal person?” You finally met his eyes with an excess of tears blurring your vision. 

“You keep saying that,” he began, letting go of your arms and wiping your tears, “but you know that you and I are not normal.” Jake leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

Your legs were beginning to buckle, but Jake caught you, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He strode into your bedroom as if he had been there a thousand times, put you down on the bed gently, and brushed the hair out of your face. 

Here we have Sergeant Linwood ‘Pooch’ and his wife reuniting. It is the first time he has seen her since his last mission, before disappearing. It is also the first time he will be seeing his child. Definitely, an emotion reun-

Your captor turned off the TV and turned to smile at you.

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” he asked, but seemed as if he were talking to himself. 

You couldn’t respond, all your muscles now refusing to attend to your demands. Instead, more tears streaked down your face. 

“A baby,” he whispered, “Yes, that would be nice.”

Masterlist

Tag list:  @oneoftheprettynerds @partiesandblurrypolaroids @hitmewithyourbest-shot @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @bval-1 @quxxnxfhxll @sunflowerbunny2 @captainslittlegirl @sohoseb @iviesinmymind @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @old-enough-to-know-better73 @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay

Other tags: @mcudarklibrary​ @saiyanprincessswanie​ @angrybirdcr​

Shoot me a message or fill out the form in my bio to be added to my tag list!

[positivelypositive]

Hi.

First of all let me tell you I love your blog. I found your posts very inspiring. I think that in a world like this, in which there are so many mean people, what you're doing is just great.

I wonder if you have some advice about a friend who is literally ignoring me. I don't know what to do.

We have known each other for seven years. We live in two different cities which are far from each other. But we always managed to meet at least twice a year. Besides we chatted every day on WhatsApp.

We were close. I tried to help her in every problem she had, even when it was difficult to find the right words for her. Anyway one day in october she started not to answer me anymore. I tried to ask her what was the problem and she did read the messages but still didn't answer. Last time I wrote was to wish her merry Christmas. I told her I missed her and that I hoped we could talk like before. But even then she read the message and didn't answer.

At the beginning I thought she needed some time alone. I thought she needed some break from everything. But just a couple of days ago I saw she shared on instagram some photos with one of her friends, all happy, all smiling, full of love for each other. And I understood I am the only one she is ignoring.

I don't know what to do. I'd like to know why, if it was my fault or what.

Everyone else tells me to move on but it's difficult.

I think ignoring someone is a real mean thing to do. Nobody deserves to be ignored. People can have problems. They can fight, they can yell at each other, at least that is something in which you are considered as a living person. But ignoring is just so mean. It's like you are invisible. I've never thought she could do that to me. What should I do?

hey anon,

thank you for your kind words. i'm really glad you find this space positive!

i understand your question very well having gone through similar situations several times in the past and even in the presnt. however, i want to answer you by quoting some words from your own question..."people can have problems"

i'm not justifying their behaviour. yes, ignorance is the worst way to deal with anything. harsh words and actions hurt, and yet you can heal from it because it shows that that the other person cares enough to fight with you but ignorance simply means indifference. it's heart breaking and simply not ok.

having said that, i really want you to think of it this way..maybe your friend is going through something. not necessarily a bad situation but simply a change of pace in life. there will be several times in life when you'll see a drastic change in your behaviour, personality, likes, dislikes, and perception.

these changes can bring you closer to new people and also take you away from the people you've been familiar with for years. it's rough but it does happen.

i'm not asking you to forgive and forget. that's easier said than done. i will, however, ask you to drop the weight of their actions and try to move forward. they have made their choice for now. it's your turn to make yours. do you wish to stay where you are thinking what more you can do or do you want to move ahead, without burning any bridges but also prioritising your mental peace?

maybe someday in the future you will reconnect. maybe then you'll get a chance to ask them what happened. until they actually tell you in their own words, you won't know what made them behave this way. so until that happens - believe in the goodness in you and move on.

sending you best wishes and positive vibes ✨

[leahblackk]

Lies pt.2

(The gif is not mine. Whoever made this thank you so much and I’m sorry)

Summary: Spencer wants to apologize and explain everything to Y/n, but will she let him?

Type: Angst

Hey!! Look, I wanted to make just two parts and that's it, but while I was writing it more ideas came to my mind. Anyways, enjoy!

People who asked me to tagg them; @rexorangecouny and @b-a-utiful​

Pt.1

Pt.3

. . .

Y/n stared at, what seems now, a really awful and boring white wall in front of her. Blanky and space out from reality.

When she stepped into the bullpen with Emily Johnson, everyone stared at her in shock, but at that moment, she thought that was because of the fact that her boyfriend cheat on her with a criminal, an unsub until she looked at her left and let a sigh out of her lips. After all, it wasn't because of what had happened. It was because of the girl by her side.

They approached her and asked her questions. She gave them answers without the minor detail of what really happened with Cat. The one people said she didn't need to worry about. But they were wrong, so was she.

Hotch called the Johnsons, and they were happy, thanking Y/n for her act of bravery.

Her coworkers noticed her odd behaviour; after all, it was a room full of profilers, yet they didn't ask her what was wrong, maybe because they didn't want to push her to talk.

Y/n was thinking.

How was she supposed to move forward after what has happened in the last hour?

How was she going to "get over it" and move on?

Not after all the desires and dreams, she had with Spencer. The one she thought was the love of her life, the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life—the one she loved.

The one who had her hands on Cat's hair, kissing her like he was in love with her, kissing her in the way he kissed her.

They used to have a beautiful relationship, even before they started dating. Y/n had found a best friend and a lover in Spencer's embrace.

She thought about all those nights when they watched Star Wars and discussed the storyline. When they watched Harry Potter and agreed, they both belonged in the Ravenclaw house, and they also were Hufflepuff and a little bit of Slytherin, and they definitely hated Umbridge.

And those nights were they cuddle up in bed, whispering in each other's ear how much they loved each thing of them and how much they loved each other, how important they were and how happy they were because they found each other.

God, they even shared an apartment.

Now she was there, thinking about Spencer, her Spencer or the one she thought was hers.

Y/n was forced to get out of her memories and mind when her coworkers approached the man she was just thinking about. Her heart hurt just to see him.

She wiped the tears in her cheeks and looked at him.

Spencer gave his coworkers polite smiles, trying to focus on the only thing he wanted, Y/n.

His eyes looked over the bullpen, trying to find his girl so he could go and tried to explain himself to her, even when he knew it was going to be difficult because she was very proud, just like him.

Then his hazel eyes land on her. She looked away from her boyfriend, not so boyfriend. His world stops. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful.

But then he noticed her red eyes, and then he knew. She has been crying.

He would go over her ignoring everything else, not caring about anyone but her, hugging her, asking her why she was upset, and trying to make things better. But he couldn't, because the reason she was crying was his fault.

She looked at him hurt. And then she stood from her chair and took her purse. Ready to leave.

Spencer panicked, watching her walk in front of him. Spencer starts walking.

"Y/n," He said, but she didn't stop. "Y/n please" now tears were in his eyes, taking her elbow.

"Spencer, please let me go," She whispered. Her voice cracking at the immense pain she was feeling, hoping that Spencer would let her go to their house and packed everything so she could leave him.

She didn't dare to look at him. She knew she wasn't that strong. And how could she? When she was feeling sad, and like the world was on her shoulders, Spencer was the one who comforts her. But what happened when he was the reason she felt that way?

"Let me- Just please let me explain." He begged.

"Let you explain what?" She finally looked at him with anger and sadness. "The way you dared to kiss her when you told me how much you hate her? When I was the one who comforts you when you were sad about all the things she did to you? Do you want to narrate to me word by word how well you enjoy that kiss while I was in fucking front of you?" Even though everyone stared at them, they didn't know why they were arguing because she wasn't yelling even when she wanted to, neither did he. They were the only ones who knew what was happening.

"No, I want to explain why I did what I did."

"Spencer, please" Y/n looked at him in disbelief. "There's no other reason. I think it is pretty obvious. You didn't had the guts to tell me you didn't love me anymore. You didn't tell me that you were lying all those times when you told me that you loved me and you wanted to be with me."

"I never lied. I love you, but you didn't tell me either about the letters she was sending you. So I guess you weren't honest."

Y/n chuckled in disbelief. "You know why I didn't tell you about those letters?" Spencer nodded. "I didn't tell you because I thought It was nothing. You were there with so many problems and those horrible migraines that I didn't want to add more. I cared about you."

Spencer's eyes soften at her words. "But I don't care about anything about that, Y/n. You are my girl. You are my entire world. I want to be there for you, even if I am not so well because you are always there for me. I want to help you, doesn't matter what."

"I was." She said.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I was your girl. We are over."

. . .

After the fight they had, Y/n turned off her phone because people called her, asked her what happened. She didn't have the energies to answer those calls.

She just left, now, Spencer's apartment with her belongings. She didn't want to bother anyone and answer their questions about what happened. She could have stayed at Emily's or Penelopes, but she didn't want to.

So she turned to her old house. It was cold and lonely, maybe because she felt that way.

Y/n had bought a house when she came into Virginia. When Spencer and her started dating, Spencer decided that it was better to stay in his place because it had a better view. It wasn't that cold like hers and, in Spencer's words, was cooler than hers.

But she didn't put her house in sale, maybe because a part of her knew something like this could happen, and she never liked to stay at her friend's house for too long.

She sat in her old coach and took her phone out of her purse. She turned it on, feeling the light way too bright on her face.

The phone started getting all the notifications, all the messages, and all those missed phone calls.

The first one she answered was Penelope. She knew she would freak out because she wasn't responding.

Y/n didn't say anything more than she was okay, repeating the same answer to all of her friends.

She listened to her voicemails: her friends and four of Spencer.

Y/n bit inside her cheek, thinking if it was a good idea to listen to it, but before it was too late, she did.

"Hey, darling. My angel, I really don't know if I can call you like that anymore, but you are always going to be my angel. You obviously know who I am, and I also know you don't want to talk to me, but I think this is important, and-"

"Sorry, my last voicemail got cut. I was saying that I am really sorry Y/n, you don't even have an idea" His voice broke. "I-I got home right now, and you are not here. I wasn't expecting you to be either, but-"

"You're not here, and your things either. You left a sweater though. The white you- your favourite. The one you always put on even if it doesn't match with your outfit because you say it is comfy. And, it smells just like you-"

"I know I messed things up. I swear I have a reason and an explanation for all of this, but please come back. Come back to me because I don't think I can't live without you. I can't stay in this empty cold house. Remember when I told you to come to my home because yours was colder? It was because you were here. Every time you are in my home, it gets warmer and feels like home because home is not home if you are not here with me. I love you, please, never forget th-"

Tears came down her cheeks. All those emotions she was avoiding were out now. She felt pressure in her chest. I felt like the reality hit her hard. She was feeling alone, she was cold, and she needed him yet she knows it is not correct.

Her phone started ringing; Hotch.

She tried to calm herself down. Breathing in and out.

"Hey, Hotch, what's up?"

"You don't have to pretend when you are around me, Y/n," He said.

Hotch knew her very well. He was like a father to her, and Y/n like a daughter to him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I-I Hotch I- I really don't want to talk about that."

"You don't have to, but please don't pull away just because of the way you are feeling. I know it is your way to defend yourself from the world, but today you got us pretty worried. You know we live in a world where there are not so good people, and we thought. I thought something had happened."

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention. I swear, I just needed my time alone."

"That's okay, but next time let us know, and I will tell you that I'm here for you, always. You are not alone."

"Thank you, Hotch. It means the world to me."

"Any time, kid."

. . .

After she took a bath and ate her dinner, it seems like she was doing everything on pilot, and maybe that was the truth, but she didn't know what to do.

She sighs and sits in her coach. She couldn't sleep.

Her phone buzzed next to her. Confused, she took it and saw who was calling her; Hotch.

She frowned and answered it. Y/n didn't have enough time to greet her boss when he was already talking. "Did Spencer call you?" He asked. Concerned?

"Yeah, he did, but-"

"Did he tell you to come to the office?"

"No, it was for other reasons. Why?"

"You need to come. Right now."

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"We have a case."

. . .

Y/n drove fast to the Bau, concerned about what Hotch just told her. She parked her car and took her purse out of the vehicle. She saw JJ just got out of her car as well.

"Do you know what is going on?" The blonde one asked.

"No, I thought you did.

Both confused women walked inside. Everyone was there.

"What it is, Hotch?" JJ asked and took a seat next to Emily. Y/n sat next to Penelope, far away from Spencer, who was looking at her in pain. Derek sat in the chair next to him, the one he saved for her, having hope she would take it.

"Spencer," Aaron said, giving the word to the young doctor. Spencer stood up and walked in front of everyone, where JJ usually briefed the team. Giving Y/n a quick look, but she was busy playing with her rings. A little hope grew in him when he saw she was still wearing his.

"I received a strange call today after I-I left Cat in jail. The voice said that my mom was in danger and that I need to protect her, so I brought her here. Hoping I can take care of her while we find the person who wants to harm her."

Y/n knew Diana Reid. She was a beautiful woman, and Y/n loved her. Besides what happened to her and Reid, she felt sorry for him. She wanted to help him.

Reid got out of the conference room and returned one minute after with her mom, who was shy at first, but she smiled when her eyes found Y/n.

"Y/n, it is so lovely to see you. Please come to say hi. I've missed you." Y/n smiled and stood up from her chair and hugged the woman. Spencer smiled at the encounter between the two women he loves the most. "How are you, darling? Look at you. You look absolutely stunning. How is my Spencer treating you?"

She looks over to Spencer, and he just looks at the ground. "I-I'm okay, and everything is okay." She lied.

"Oh darling, I'm glad."

"Mom, I think we have to start working. Do you mind waiting for me?"

She nodded. "Yeah, can I come back to your boss's office?"

"Yeah, please. Follow me." Hotch said, walking with Diana to his office.

Y/n walked where she was before, and Spencer followed her and stood in front of everyone. "Pretty boy, tell us how we can help," Morgan said.

"I-I actually think that we have to take this as a usual case. The profiling an-and everything, but Hotch said that we need to keep eyes close to my mom, and she doesn't trust the agents around, she has to be with someone she has spend time with and, I can't be with her because I need things to do, so-"Spencer looked at Y/n hoping she can understand what he was saying. Everyone looked at her, but she was looking at the ground until she heard nothing but silence.

"Pretty girl, that's your call." Morgan teased.

"Oh yeah, of course."

. . .

After everyone was brief, Hotch came back and told everyone what to do. Y/n had to keep Spencer's mom company and work with the profiling. Everyone was leaving to do their duties, but Y/n and Spencer were the last in the room. Not on purpose, of course.

When Y/n was exiting, Spencer took her wrist. She turned around to look at him with a severe face, and Spencer felt nervous. "I'm sorry, I know you don't want to talk with me, but I really appreciate what you are doing for me after all that has happened between us and-"

"Doctor Reid, I'm not doing this for you if that's what you’re thinking. I'm doing this for her, even though you don't deserve anything from me, and how I said, is for her. She's an amazing woman, and she doesn't deserve any of this, so please don't confuse things. If you excuse me, I have things to do." And with that, she left. Leaving the young doctor with the words in his mouth and with a hurt heart.

Y/n walked the short path to Hotch's office and opened the door. Diana was looking over the window. She turned around and looked at Y/n.

"It seems like we have a girl's day." She said, and Diana smiled.

. . .

Y/n spent almost the whole day with Diana Reid. It was now three in the afternoon. She already delivered the profile but still hasn't got a clue of who the person might be.

Spencer was getting desperate, but every time she saw her mom tried to look the calmest he could. Y/n always exited the room every time he did so.

Diana thought it was to give them space, but they didn't look in love as always. At least Y/n didn't. Spencer always looked at her in that way, trying to capture her attention, but he failed.

She didn't make any comments, but the last time Spencer came into the office, she couldn't stand that anymore. "There's something going on with you and Spencer?" The question took the doctor in surprise.

"Um, no. Everything is okay."

"Darling, you are not a very good liar when it comes to Spencer. What is going on?"

Y/n knew Spencer didn't deserve anything, but she couldn't bring herself to tell his mom the truth. "I don't know. It was just a fight we had earlier. Nothing to worry about."

"I see. I know Spencer can be a little bit of an idiot for being a genius, you know? He never loved anyone in the way he loves you. You are his very first girlfriend. He didn't even talk about any women until he met you, and he couldn't stop talking about you over and over again. I knew you were pretty special, and I know Spencer can sometimes be challenging. I mean, he's a man, after all. What do you expect?" Y/n chuckled. "But I do know that man loves you, and whatever that happened, it has its fix."

So Spencer didn’t told his mom about Maeve?

Y/n wanted to believe her. She tried to think it would be a way to fix things and everything could go back to normal, but she also knew something of its magnitude would be difficult.

"Hey, how are we going here?" Spencer asked. "Y/n um, they need you outside."

"It was fun to talk to you, Diana. I'll see you later."

"Thanks for spending the day with me."

"It was my pleasure." Y/n smiled, and without looking at Spencer, she exited the room.

She walked downstairs where everyone was. "Y/n, Hotch wants you to go where he's right now. The police said they have a witness. Morgan and Prentiss are over there right now." JJ informed.

Y/n nod feeling a strange sensation in her stomach. She took her purse that was on her desk and walked out.

Y/n walked through the parking lot until she found her car and unlocked it. She sat in, closed the door and put her purse in the other seat. When she was about to start the car, someone knocked on her window.

.  . .

"Y/n told me you two had troubles." Her mom said. Spencer looked at her with panic in his eyes. "Don't worry. She's too loyal to tell me what you did wrong. But you have to understand she's an amazing woman, and there's no one like her in the world. Besides, she's the only one I like for you. "Spencer lightly laughed and nodded.

"I know, mom. I messed it up." He looked at her with watery eyes.

"Oh hun, come here." She hugged him. "I know it is hard, but I do know she loves you. You should talk to her and tell her how much you love her and that you don't want to lose her. Go, now."

Spencer felt encouraged and walked out of the room, going downstairs where JJ, Emily, Morgan, and Hotch were. No sign of Y/n. He frowned.

"What is going on?" He asked.

"Spence," JJ started talking.

"Don't "Spence" me. What is going on?”

“Y/n got kidnapped.”

[maddieinwonder]

Bait & Switch

Spencer Reid x GN!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, super fluffy 

Word Count: 3.5k words 

Plot: Reader reveals that they’re going to buy a Nintendo Switch so Spencer invites them to go together with him. In the process, some feelings reveal themselves.  

Author’s Note: My first time writing about Spencer, and actually, my first time writing a fic in a long time haha. Just imagine that this takes place in 2017, although you don’t have to know anything about the Switch in order to read this.

Masterlist

-------------- 

"What's got you in such a good mood, baby?" Derek asked, leaning over his chair. Even without looking up, you could feel the smirk that decorated his face. After almost a month at the BAU, you didn’t need to be a profiler to expect this much from Derek. "Got a date this weekend?"

You tried to focus on your paperwork before relenting, rolling your eyes. Still, you couldn't hide the smile in your voice when you shot back a reply. "With this job? You wish, Morgan."

"Give yourself some credit, beautiful. With your looks I'm sure you could score a good looking fellow for a night you won't forget."

"I'm sure you would know all about that," you replied, this time grinning from ear to ear.

Ever since you joined the BAU, your seat has always been across Derek Morgan. The guy was a terrible flirt but also one of the most trustworthy people you knew, so you couldn't keep up a sarcastic mood for long.

"Actually," you replied genuinely, "I'll be lining up this weekend to buy a Nintendo Switch." Out of the corner of your eye, you could sense Spencer stiffen in his chair next to you.

"A what switch?" Derek asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

But before you could begin to reply him, Spencer rolled his chair over and opened his mouth. The both of you knew what was coming.

"The Nintendo Switch. A video game console developed by Japanese company Nintendo that's completely one-of-its-kind, on account of its console functioning like a tablet that can either be docked on a home console and linked to a TV, or used as a portable device with two wireless controllers so you can..."

Not being able to help yourself, you giggled at his info dump. You've always admired how much knowledge he could store in his big brain. But more importantly, you thought he was kind of cute like this. A fire would light in his eyes and it seemed like the world around him ceased to exist.

You only realised you were staring at Spencer when the last bits of his question registered in your mind. "...you going to?"

Blinking your eyes, you snapped to attention. Derek seemed to notice, because you felt his signature smirk return to his face.

"Which store are you going to?" Spencer repeated the question. Anybody else might be annoyed, but he only seemed mildly restless. A rare look for the unathletic genius.

"I'm going to the one three blocks down from here," you replied.

"So am I!" Spencer sat upright in his chair, beaming. You think that this is the most excitement he's expressed to you since you joined the BAU.

Then his confidence seemed to waver. He began tugging at the edge of his sleeve, eyes glancing to the side at nothing in particular when he asked, "W-would you like t-to go together?"

A smile spreads across your face before you can stop it. "Sure! Sounds like fun."

Spencer grinned back, and there was a moment of silence before Derek interrupted the conversation that he began. "Well, I'll leave you and lover boy to plan your date. I'm going to spend my Friday night at the bar."

Your heart thumped involuntarily at the word "date", while Derek turned to Emily. "Hey Prentiss, you want to grab a few drinks and dinner? I'm sure I can get the others to leave work for one night."

"Anything's better than this," Emily shrugged, lifting her mug of already-cold coffee.

Standing up to retrieve her bag, she smirked at you and Spencer, having heard more of the conversation than she let on. "Have a great weekend, you lovebirds. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

She and Derek shared a laugh as they moved towards the Batcave to retrieve Garcia next.

As you watched them go, you feel Spencer's eyes on you and a flush warming your cheeks. You knew they were just teasing you with the word "date", but the truth is you've liked the genius almost as soon as you met him.

You may not have an eidetic memory, but you could still remember the flutter of butterflies that exploded in your chest when you first laid eyes on Dr. Spencer Reid.

He had waved from a comfortable distance, the other hand tucked in the pocket of his dark slacks. He towered over you easily with curly locks that barely touched his sweater vest, and you swore you've never seen anybody more attractive in your life. His intelligence only added to your attraction. 

"Shall I pick you up at 7am tomorrow?"

You turned back to Spencer, who seemed even more nervous now that everybody in the bullpen had left. Yet what he was proposing was rather bold compared to his usual behaviour.

“Pick me up?” You repeated.

“It’ll be easier to find a parking spot that way, and the weather report predicts that tomorrow will be a sunny day, so I know you’d rather not walk three blocks to the store.” He rambled nervously.

“You know me well, Spencer.” A cheeky smile snuck onto your face, and in a moment of false bravado, you said what was on your mind. “7am. It’s a date, then.”

Spencer’s face turned beet red.

You didn’t wait to dwell on his reaction, dumping the last of your paperwork into a pile and picking up your bag. But as you walked to the elevator, you couldn’t help yourself from grinning ear to ear. It was a date. Kind of.

-------------- 

You couldn’t sleep. You had gotten home earlier than usual, but the extra time to plan for your “date” tomorrow proved to be a bad idea.

What would you wear? What would you talk about? Should you extend it to a meal, or dessert, or maybe coffee?

Although you were confident in the moment, you were beginning to regret teasing Spencer before you left. You’d known him long enough to know how he reacted to embarrassment, and there’s a good chance he might back away because of your forwardness. 

You groaned, trying to get these thoughts out of your head. The reality of the "date" was sinking in now. This would be the first time that you and Spencer would be alone in a non-work setting. To say that you were nervous was a gross understatement. 

But there was something worse than showing up nervous, which was showing up nervous and sleep-deprived, so you turned off your bedside lamp and tried to will yourself to sleep. That's when your phone began to buzz.

You were so on edge that the sound almost made you fall off your bed. Turning over your phone, your heart leapt to your throat.

Spencer, 2:03am: Sorry to disturb you when it's so late, but I realised I don’t have your address. Could you send it to me when you're awake?

You gulped. Just relax, just relax, you repeated in your head.

Me, 2:05am: It’s alright, you didn’t wake me up. I’ll attach my address below.

Spencer, 2:06am: Thanks. Having trouble sleeping?

Me, 2:07am: A little

Spencer, 2:08am: Me too.

What was I supposed to reply to that? You silently screamed. But it turned out you didn't have to figure it out.

Spencer, 2:11am: To be honest, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow.

Me, 2:13am: Why?

Spencer, 2:15am: I suppose it’s because we've never spent any time alone before.

Hearing the genius act so shy made you feel a little more brave.

Me, 2:16am: Well, I'm looking forward to the chance

Spencer, 2:17am: I am too.

Despite your nerves, you smiled at his small confession.

Spencer, 2:19am: We should get some sleep.

Me, 2:19am: I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Spence

Spencer, 2:20am: Sweet dreams.

Your anxieties were washed away and replaced with the biggest smile on your face. Without knowing it, Spencer’s words rippled a sense of calm over you, and you fell asleep shortly after. 

The next morning, you woke up with a newfound clarity. You knew what you were going to wear. 

-------------- 

Spencer couldn't stop tapping the edge of his steering wheel. He knew he was nervous, and admitting it to you last night didn't do much to stop that fact from eating away at him.

He texted you 3 minutes ago that he was waiting outside your apartment, but you hadn't replied. Although he knew that there were plenty of logical reasons why you might have missed his text, his hands didn't stop itching to call you and see if you were alright.

Then out of the corner of his eye, you emerged from the corridor and he felt his heart speed up.

You were wearing a blue flannel that he'd never seen you in before with a pair of dark jeans. Your hair, which you usually kept in a up-do at work, was let down in waves, touching your shoulders. And then there was the pièce de résistance, you were wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt with the TARDIS on it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

He didn't break his gaze on you the entire time you got into his car. Even when you beamed at him and wished him a good morning, a small yawn escaping your perfect lips, he was completely tongue-tied.

"Earth to Spencer," you called out, looking up at him curiously. "You there?"

Spencer shook his head suddenly, cursing himself internally for being such a doofus. "Sorry, uh, I was distracted. Good morning." He smiled sheepishly, tucking a stray hair strand behind his ear.

"Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee before we headed to the store? We can make it quick. I know there'll be some people already lining up."

He peeked at you rubbing your eyes and thought it was the cutest thing he's ever seen. “Looks like you might need it," he said without realising he'd just flirted with you.

You giggled, lowering your hands from your face. "Sounds great." 

-------------- 

Spencer wasn't lying when he said it'd be quick, although in truth you could have taken all the time in the world and you would still be happy. The initial awkwardness between you washed away almost immediately as you fell into a quiet conversation about your favourite Doctor Who episodes. 

You wanted to commit the sight of him driving in the morning to memory. The sun had just rose, lighting a gentle halo around Spencer’s messy hair and sculptured face. He was wearing a bigger sweater than usual, the sleeves hanging around his wrists loosely. While his eyes were focused on the road, his lips parted slightly as he softly bantered with you about David Tennant. 

You felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and kiss him despite the driving hazard. And despite the fact that you’ve never kissed him, of course. But you could hope. And hope you did. 

Your hope had grown when he parked in front of the coffee house you’d once mentioned was your favourite. Spencer made your coffee order perfectly and you had found yourself hoping that it was because he’d paid extra attention to you, and not because of his brilliant memory. 

And when you reached the video game store and he opened the door for you, you hoped it was because he wanted to make a good impression, not only because he was a gentleman. 

And when he stood between you and a video game rack in line, you hoped that he was trying to shield you from the other people in the store, and you hoped that he was thinking of pressing you against the rack and kissing the daylights out of you. 

You needed to get a hold of yourself. 

The conversation had swapped to the reason why you two were here in the first place, and you found yourself talking to Spencer about Breath of the Wild, a game that brought you back to fond memories of your childhood. 

“The Legend of Zelda was the first video game I ever played, on the first console I ever owned.” You shared, smiling fondly. “It was the video game that my brother and I bonded over, and we bought every game together since.”

Spencer nodded in rapt. You felt him leaning closer to you, although it may have been your imagination. 

“This is actually the first time I haven’t been with him for a new game,” you realised. “Due to our jobs, we haven’t seen each other in awhile, but we still text each other!” You tried to end on a lighter note, not wanting to bring the mood down on this “date”.

Spencer looked at you as if he wanted to say something, but he kept his lips shut. 

“What about you? What was your first video game?” You threw the question to him, trying to divert attention away from your sad-enough story. 

He blushed in response to your question and looked down at his black converse. You noticed he began touching his sleeve in a familiar motion and you looked at him suspiciously. “Spencer?”

“W-well, the t-truth is, I didn’t actually c-come here to buy a Switch, and I don’t play video games at all.“ The last part of his sentence came out rapidly. You might have missed it, if you weren’t already used to the tongue twisters he spit out on a daily basis.

“What?” You exclaimed a little too loudly, causing the other shoppers in line to glance at you weirdly. “Then... Then what are you doing here?” You said quieter this time. Your eyebrows furrowed as your mind scanned the possibilities. 

“W-well, I, uh, wanted to spend time with you,” he blurted out. He raised his eyes to meet yours, his face completely red.

It was your turn to be flustered now. Your voice was quiet and you could feel your hands shaking. “Is this a date, Spencer?” 

“Only if you want it to be, I mean, I want it to be but your opinion matters to me, and I wouldn’t want to bring you on a date if you didn’t want to. We can just hang out like friends if that’s more comfortable--” 

You grabbed his free hand, gently lowering it from where it was moving as he rambled, until your fingers were intertwined. 

“I would like it to be,” a large smile took over your face. You were a little teary despite how weird it was to confess your feelings for him in a video game store of all places. 

Spencer was quiet for a moment, squeezing your hand in return. “Would you like to go for lunch after this? As a date,” he clarified this time. 

"I would love that,” you beamed at him, “as a date.” 

-------------- 

Spencer had always imagined the kind of girl he would fall in love with. Caring, intelligent, had an appreciation for classic literature, maybe. But when he saw you for the first time, every expectation he held flew out of the window.  

You were beautiful. Wavy dark hair tied into a high ponytail, wearing a navy shirt, and funnily enough, a beige cardigan and black converse. Morgan joked that it was like meeting Spencer 2.0, but he disagreed: the two of you were worlds apart. 

You were incredibly tech savvy, although not as much as Garcia, but certainly more than the rest. You loved the smell and taste of coffee without sugar. You were happy to hug everybody you met, from colleagues to victims. You didn’t like paperback so you read everything on a Kindle. 

But the biggest difference between the two of you, was that you were emotionally intelligent. 

All of your brilliance, combined with your PhD in psychology - having worked as a psychiatrist affiliated with Sex Crimes before joining the BAU - you were able to pick out the team’s moods from a single glance. It’s what endeared everyone to you immediately, and what made you such a great profiler.   

But the way you treated him was different. You just, listened to him. While everyone else had gotten into the habit of cutting him off or simply ignoring him when he opened his mouth, your eyes would light up instead. 

He could always tell you were listening because you would look into his eyes when he spoke, and you would ask him questions after he was done. 

It made him feel like the world around him ceased to exist, except for you. 

So he started studying your interests to grab your attention, trying to throw in a few jokes hoping to see you smile. It only took one month for him to seize his chance. Still, never in his calculations did he think you would say yes. 

He smiled at the thought, stroking your hair gently as you cuddled on the couch together, watching you play Breath of the Wild. 

After a more than successful first date, you had asked him to come over the next day to spend more time together. A month ago, he would have politely declined with an excuse like needing to read a new academic journal, but when he arrived at your doorstep he allowed himself to be drawn into your arms, relishing the giggle he earned as a reward for being hugged. 

“Damn it,” you grumbled quietly as you ran out of stamina scaling a cliffside for the fifth time.

Spencer laughed. Without a second thought, he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head. 

In the background Link fell off the cliff once again, the game playing a sound that he came to recognise as Link dying. But there were no curses this time, as you had turned to look at Spencer, nothing but adoration in your eyes. 

“That was our first kiss,” you said so quietly and sweetly that Spencer’s heart melted at the sound of it. 

“First?” He took his chance, leaning closer. “You know, the usage of the word ‘first’ almost always implies that there will be a ‘second’ and a ‘third’ and a...” 

His voice trailed off as your fingers left the controller to touch his lips. Your touch was intoxicating and he wanted more. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Spence,” you started, lifting your finger from his lips. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you-” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he managed to get out in a hurry before capturing your lips in his. He felt your astonishment at first, but you quickly lost yourself in the kiss as he brought his hands up to cup the sides of your face, deepening the kiss further. 

You finally broke apart after awhile, both panting for air and smiling widely. Spencer never thought he could be so lucky. “That’s the second one,” he said quietly, bringing up two fingers to indicate the number. 

You looked at him with love in your eyes and abandoned your controller on the table before throwing yourself at him, flattening the two of you against your couch. 

“Ready for the third?”

-------------- 

Derek Morgan wasn’t an idiot. That’s why he could tell that something had changed over the weekend between his desk mate and boy genius. 

The two came into work together on Monday morning, which was weird in itself, but they also took every opportunity to stick to each other, from coffee breaks to disappearing for lunch and “asking” about paperwork. 

When they vanished for the umpteenth time that day for coffee, Derek leaned over Emily’s desk to confirm his theory. 

“It’s not just me. Pretty boy finally made a move, didn’t he?” He cocked an eyebrow. 

“Definitely. Those two are so obvious that even Hotch has picked up on it. From his office.” She quipped, grinning as her eyes moved to the scene behind Derek. “Speak of the devil.” 

Entering the conversation, Spencer did what he did best. “Did you know that ‘speak of the devil’ is the short form of the idiom ‘speak of the devil and he doth appear’? The phrase can be traced back to the 16th century when mentioning the devil was considered prohibited. In fact, when people were caught saying the phrase--” 

Derek caught your eyes drifting to look adoringly at Spencer. He couldn’t take this anymore. “So what happened between you two last weekend, huh?” he interrupted, smirking. 

Your reaction was better than he gambled. You turned a bright red and your eyes darted between Spencer and Derek in panic, truly flustered for the first time since he’s met you. But Spencer was strangely calm, his eyes travelling from his best friend to Emily in the background trying to stifle her laughter, while a small smile tugged at his lips. 

“We’re dating now,” he announced to the two a little triumphantly, while rubbing your shoulder as a peaceful gesture. 

Derek and Emily were stunned by their friend’s directness, only to be shocked out of it as Hotch walked by. “Finally,” he muttered, loud enough for them all to hear. 

You were the first to crack a smile, then the rest followed suit with laughs and congratulations. Hearing the uproar, Garcia and JJ peeked out of their rooms, joining in and demanding more details about this new but not entirely unexpected development. 

Amidst the chaos, Spencer laces his hands in yours and gives it a squeeze. For the first time in a long time, you feel unequivocally, unmistakably happy. 

[all-about-seggs]

Ardent Affections :

Pairing : Timeskip + Virgin! Sakusa Kiyoomi x Female reader

Rating : 18+, Explicit

Word count : 3k

Warnings : Smut and fluff (and holy shit I ended up including a bit of angst) , Loss of virginity, blow job, fingering, vaginal sex, established relationships.

A/n: I prefer dirtier side of Smuts but this was as far as I could go with Saku sooooo I hope my fluffy smut isn't cringey >.<.

Putting the plum filled onigiri in the clean plastic container, you give it another look over to make sure it's tidy enough, afterall, the person you made this for was nothing if not picky. But, you also knew he loved umeboshi, so after a few successful weeks of your relationship with Sakusa, you went ahead and bought more than enough dried plums to practice making something he won't be able to refuse. It didn't take long to reach the gym he was practicing at, with lunch time approaching, he'd be on his break too, giving you the perfect chance to have some alone time.

One would think, that no boyfriend would refuse their significant other's cooking but falling in love with him as well as dating him made you realise it wasn't the status quo. He was, at the very least, peculiar. Always on his own, Sakusa never felt the need to be involved with a lot of people, ironical as it may be for someone who played a team sport, his idiosyncrasies made it hard for most people to get close to him. That's why the sight of a cluster of high shool girls flocking your boyfriend, to give him their handmade goods was comical yet unsettling.

It wasn't something you got jealous at, but it's something that made you second guess yourself instead, whenever the thought of making him something pooped in your head, this same scene played infront of your eyes. Sakusa surrounded by a bunch of girls with heart eyes, wanting to give him stuff. On the verge of losing his polite demeanor, Sakusa almost gave them a taste of his blunt indifference if it weren't for some faculty member intervening. Today was the same.

With the perfect excuse, he pulled himself away from the group and sauntered towards you, eye twitching with a look that screamed ' I saw you having fun on my expense'. You quickly pulled yourself out of the gloomy thoughts and greeted him with your regular smile.

" I didn't wanted to disturb your fan meet", the cheeky tone in your voice added to his annoyance.

" I assure you that you didn't, besides you know I don't like hand made stuff ", he grumbled, voice carrying the regular icky note you were used to but it caused the dull ache in your heart grew. Before you could answer, you saw Bokuto running towards your direction, making you jump with his boisterous greeting,

" HEY! Y/n chan!... Are you gonna join us for lunch as well ?", The look in his face was as cute as his voice which was cutoff by Sakusa's cold one,

" No. I don't like the places you go to eat. Also, I'm done for today so we have no reason to stay.", Curt and to the point, Sakusa answered him and gestured you with his eyes to follow him instead.

" Geez, it's like he can never let loose!, Y/n chan! You should ask him to open up more!", pouting, the energetic male glared at Sakusa's retreating form.

"Ummm, Sorry Bokuto! He still doesn't know how to..... People? I guess? But he's trying! I know he is! So don't worry... We'll catch up with you guys sometime else okay?", With a slight bow, you trailed after your boyfriend, leaving a deflated Bokuto behind.

As you walked behind him, you thought about the first time the both of you met, he didn't even looked at you properly before leaving just like he was right now, about how you had to put your feelings out in the open first so that he'd finally notice them, how, for the last few days your garbage can only had dozens of messed up onigiri, and how the lunch you packed was getting colder by the minute as it layed still in your bag.

You were lost in thought for the rest of the way, he wasn't one to talk much but your constant silence was not something that often happened. Still not being used to initiating small talks, all he could do was gaze at the dazed look on your face.

The two of you made your way back to his apartment that the sports facility provided the players. You had been here a couple of times before but never long enough to actually call it 'staying over'.

" Why are we at your place?", You quietly ask, making him pause before speaking.

" I did say I was done with practice for the day", opening the front door he ushered you in. It was unsurprisingly neat, the entrance not having any useless items, infact everything in his place had a purpose or use.

It was a big step, him letting anyone in his personal space, considering his high maintenance personality you thought he'd dip you in a bucket of sanitizer everyday but he was a lot more chill when you both take your respective baths. He still goes in first.

The moment you stepped outside the bathroom, you saw a nervous looking Sakusa was sitting on the edge of his bed.

" Did you really wanted to have lunch with those guys?", His abrupt question caught you off guard, so apparently he took your silencein the wrong way, but it still warmed your heart to know he noticed and cared enough to talk about it, albeit clumsily.

" Is that why you think I was quite on our way here?", The reply you gave made him avert his eyes, whether it was out of embarrassment or the awkwardness in the room, it didn't change the fact that your sudden change in behaviour was noted by your boyfriend.

" If you have something to say, then I want you to tell me, I'm afraid I won't know otherwise", Sakusa added, finally looking at you with his deadpan yet sharp look.

He was right, every couple needs to have proper communication in order for their relationship to succeed, so with that in mind you decided to tell him about what's bothering you.

Walking over to his side, you sat next to him,

" I made you lunch today, but when I saw you rejecting your fans gifts saying you don't like handmade stuff, it- bothered me.", Your reasoning might've been a little selfish, it's not like you wanted to force anything on him just because you were his girlfriend but the fear of getting rejected always made you hold back on so many things.

" So I didn't give it to you, and then I just started having a trail of depressing thoughts about how maybe I'm the only one who wants anything from this relationship, I mean we haven't even done anything more than kissing Kiyoomi.", To you, this confession was nothing more than the frustrations you've built up. He was silently listening as you went on, not interrupting until you were done.

" I see....", His soft baritone was laced I'm regret as he brought his hands to you head, gently combing the strands, " I'm sorry, I made you feel that way, it's obvious that both of us need to work on our communication skills but there is one thing you got wrong", saying that, his hand combing you hair pushed you forward until you were right in front of his glossy lips,

" It should go without saying that I wouldn't let you in here if I didn't loved you, and you wouldn't be in this bed either if I didn't wanted you.", By the end of his sentence, his hot mouth covered your in a demonically passionate kiss which was all teeth and tongue. It was probably your longest kiss as well, making you grip his shoulders so hard it would've probably left marks if it weren't for his taut musculature. You pressed you hands on his sculpted chest, feeling his nipples harden as you slowly run you thumbs over them. Sakusa pulled away from you to catch a few breaths, his lips shining with your mixed saliva.

" I've never done this before......", hesitation crossed his eyes which soon melted into a look of determination as he brought his face near yours.

"But if it's with you, I know I'll like it", he panted, pulling you on his lap to continue his ministrations from a more closer proximity. The uncharacteristically deep kiss encouraged your hands to roam around more, to feel all of his ripped form through the fabric of his thin shirt. Your hand grazed his crotch, this contact alone was enough to make him twitch, his virginity showing, the blush on his cheeks spreaded all the way to his neck.

The front of his shorts looked so strained,It was painfully clear how much his cock was begging for attention, so you pushed Sakusa back until he was lying flat on the bed, feet still on the floor. Searching his eyes for any objections, you pulled his waistband down to reveal his bulging member. It suited a big guy like him, his thick cock felt so hot and heavy in you hand it took everything in you to stop yourself from jumping on it right away.

" Hggg... Wait... It's-", his voiced carried more embarrassment than discomfort but you stopped nonetheless.

" Dirty?.....is that what you want to say?", questioningly, you looked at him from between his legs as he nodded.

" Well sex is better dirty but, I'll try not to make a mess okay?", With a wink you grabbed his shaft with one hand and took his tip in your mouth. The warm, wet insides of your mouth touching the sensitive head of his cock made him shudder in pleasure but he didn't make more than a hum. Maybe your boyfriend was still embarrassed but now that you finally get to go down on him, you made it a personal goal to hear his moans.

Detemined to hear his beautiful whimpers, you added pressure on his member through your tongue as you moved your lips up and down, swallowing him as much as you could. Droll dripping from the side of your mouth and his precum gave you enough lubrication to increase you pace, going harder and harder until you felt your teeth make contact with his sensitive shaft, that must've hurt, you thought but atleast it got a reaction out of him.

" AH-.....mmmhh Y/n damnit.....you're doing it too roughly", you heard him complain from above you,

" I just rough housed you a little..... Anyway, you can't blame a girl who's been abstaining herself from fucking her hot boyfriend ", with a pop you pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at the wide eyed Sakusa with an uncharacteristic boldness that even surprised you. Maybe it was because of the situation or because you two had a heart to heart conversation about your feelings just now but you felt oddly comfortable with him more than you ever did before. You knew he loved you enough to put up with anything you'd throw at him at his point, so why not push your luck?

"......well aren't you a vulgar little girl", regaining his composure, Sakusa propped himself on his elbows to give you his trademark deadpan look. You squeeze his balls teasingly in an attempt to rile him up further, his face contorts a little before he shoots you a glare.

" I'm going to make you regret that", with nothing more than a growl he grabbed your hand to make lie face down beside him, for a second you thought he'd spank you, but the moment you raised you head from the mattress to see what's going on, a big hand was on your head pushing your face down again, his other hand ghosting over the hem of your t-shirt.

" It's my turn now, so you better behave", emphasizing the behave he first pulled your shirt off of your shoulders, then swiftly getting rid of your pants. This was an interesting turn of event, just a moment ago your virgin boyfriend was squirming like a pathetic little boy but with just a little teasing made him switch into daddy mode, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't thrilling.

You laid there stark naked as you heard a few rustling sounds coming from behind, indicating Sakusa taking his cloths off. His long, deft fingers grabbed your hips, raising them a slightly off the surface of the mattress, the digits of his right hand crept near your dripping core as if wondering if he should touch you or not, you moved your hips closer so you could feel his touch but he retreated his hand, only to pinch one of your butt cheek. The tease.

" If you're expecting me to eat you out too then keep dreaming..... but since I made you wait so long, I'll give you something else today", his matter of fact tone was even as he traced two long fingers up your slit taking in all of your juices, he pushed them inside your aching pussy. His thick digits rubbing your walls made you moan in the pillow, with his thumb he started rubbing your engorged clit. His actions were not exactly gentle but you didn't wanted them to be either, you wanted him to pound you into the mattress so bad but maybe it was asking too much from someone inexperienced.

" You like this right?", It wasn't exactly a question, as his increased his speed, with his free hand he pinched your ass again leaving small red marks in the fleshy patch of skin. Your first orgasm in so many weeks approached you with an intense force, making you buck you hips in Sakusa's hand. Just as your pussy started clenching around the fingers that was inside it, he withdrew his hand leaving you with a strange sense of emptiness.

" Not so fast y/n, it's more efficient it we cum together, besides I know you want more than just my fingers", his voice carrying the cockiness of someone far more experienced but you can't complain, for both his actions and words were easily bringing you closer to the edge. Ignoring the stickiness of his fingers he lightly massaged your butt cheeks before kneeling right behind them. The sight of your flushed, naked body was enough to get him going, something that he dare not admit.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him opening his bedside drawer to retrieve a condom. Well, atleast one of you were prepared for this, just as he finished putting on the thin protection, he asked you,

" I'm putting it in y/n", he didn't make it sound like a question but it wasn't until you nodded in approval, that he moved. Groaning lightly, Sakusa entered you inch by inch, making the process as slow as possible so could clearly feel the delicious stretch his thick cock provided. You were already panting by the time he bottomed out in you, as he started moving his hips you rolled yours to match his pace, creating a steady rhythm.

Both your pants and body were in sync, building up pleasure that soon reached its peak, the roll of your hips and the sound of his name from your mouth urged him to take a hold of your hips and drive his pulsating member further into your cunt. He felt your walls clenching around him when your body experienced the well awaited orgasm, quivering beneath him like. The sudden pressure added on to his cock made your boyfriend follow right after. The both of you were still riding your high when he lowered his torso on to your back, sweat slicked bodies on top of each other, you wondered what kind of face he would be making right about now. Hoping it wasn't one of disgust, you turned your face to the side, his endearing curls tickling your ears as he kept his nose buried in the nape of your neck.

There was a serene quality to the room where the two of you laid still until Sakusa got up abruptly, you knew that it was bath time even before he uttered anything.

" Let's eat", his soft voice seemed almost like a whisper which was confusing and astonishing at the same time when he tossed one towel to you and quickly wiped himself with the other.

Making quick work of the cleaning, you both went to the living room where you pulled out the bento box from your bag. It felt cold against your hand but this time it didn't make you sad because now you were sure that the person next to you wouldn't reject it.

Opening the box, you noticed they got a little crushed, probably because of you tossing your bag aside dejectedly when you first arrived, the previously well made onigiri lost their original shape but you hoped they tasted the same.

Gingerly showing him the box you thought about quickly explaining it's condition and telling him about how you made it in the most hygienic way possible for a human but the words died in your mouth when Sakusa briskly took one piece out and munched on the distorted rice ball. You watched him chew, waiting became too nerve-racking so you blurted, " How is it Kiyoomi?!", Talk about putting pressure on a guy but it didn't deter him from telling you the truth.

" It's good", the simple reply he gave was the best, you thought, his words were never grandiose, just to the point that's what made you believe them everytime he decides to be honest with you.

"Next time...", He mumbled in between his increasing breaths and tinted cheeks,"Lets make it together".