#i also have one of these for fma that's from like four years ago

[justatree75]

found some hunter x hunter incorrect quotes from two years ago in my notes app. everything is something either i or one of my friends said two years ago

Gon: I’m in cow without the c. wait, that actually works

Killua: ankles are a privilege. not a right

Kurapika: you, too, can be made of beans and spite just for $19.99 a week. because this is a fucking capitalist society

Leorio: this is your intervention. you’ve had too much body cleanser

Hisoka: everyone’s a whore, but I’m a *special* whore

Illumi: those are the laughs of people who don’t want their soul eaten by an eldritch horror and you can’t convince me otherwise

Bisky: if I was a teacher I’d either teach choir or sex ed. there is no in-between

Ging: “health”! “safety”! what, are we Obama now?

Kite: welcome to the concrete jungle, can I take your order? ASSUMING IT’S BULLETS

Chrollo: The Bible is the most popular fanfiction in the world

Machi: it’s not murder if they piss on the seats

Alluka: there is a different gender for every molecule of length of hair and that’s just facts

Melody: with fa you’re not pointing down, you’re pointing dahhhhhn

Shoot: some people have a boyfriend and some people have a girlfriend. but you know what we all have? anxiety. but that’s still something

Knuckle: someone needs a dogsitter? that’s too bad I can’t sit on dogs

[tumblezwei]

the "why do demographics even matter" discourse started up in shoujo twitter again because someone asked for shoujo recs and kept getting Apothecary Diaries, Witch Hat Atelier, and Skip and Loafer.

And it's so frustrating sometimes to see people brush off others getting mad bc "those are great series anyways so why does it matter if they're not actually shoujo"

Because that's not what they asked for, maybe??? Like even if demographics didn't matter, if the only qualifiers for shoujo were "has female lead, written by woman, no fanservice" why can you (average twitter weeb recommending something) only think of like, 5 series? And it's always the same fucking 5 series!!! Isn't that interesting? Isn't that weird?? That out of all of the manga in the whole wide world, the only ones that you can muster up for female-led and penned are the same shounen and seinen series that everyone already knows about??

And that's not me being all snobbish bc you don't know about some random niche shoujo manga from the 80s that I think deserves more attention or whatever the fuck, it's me saying THAT'S WHY DEMOS STILL MATTER!!! Because shoujo is not fucking popular in the west. it is not widespread enough for laymen to just come across new series in the wild as often as they will other demos.

There is a gigantic and diverse pool of stories that exists in the shoujo demographic. There are so many great fucking series from years ago and today that nobody knows about because you have to know to look for them. You just aren't going to be recommended shoujosei heavy hitters that are widely beloved by it's community like you are shounen or seinen. Like, if you ask for stuff to look out for in the coming seasons, you're going to get a lot more Kaiju No. 8 and Dandadan then you are Nina and the Starry Eyed Bride or Honey Lemon Soda. Odds are, out of those four, most people reading this probably only heard of the former.

And again that's not me trying to flex some weird superiority over knowing more "niche" series or whatever. I'm just trying to stress the point that it matters when people ask for shoujo. Because so often unless they go to it, so many of these incredible series will simply never get a good foothold in western audiences.

It matters because a twitter user asking for shoujo recs will absolutely come across twenty other people begging them to read Skip and Loafer. You do not need to be the lone soldier hoisting Skip and Loafer onto your shoulders on a post where OP did not ask. If you want to recommend a series but don't know if it's shoujo, it's very easy to just google it. If you don't have any to rec, then just leave it to others who do.

And maybe also take that as a sign that you can start looking too! Along with the most gentle reminder that demos are not genres. If you don't want romance stories, ask for something else. And just like someone will like one shounen (i.e. FMA) but not another (i.e. Rent-a-Girlfriend), you will come across shoujo series that you like and those that you don't.

[coline7373]

Alright.

I'm on a streak about the anachronism of condom in Amestris.

Hear me out.

Rubber condom date from the 19th century. They came from rubber cast into cement molds.

It wasn't until around 1920 that latex was invented.

Which was possible due to chemical advances and the industrial revolution first, than industrial progresses in assembly lines second.

*But*.

Amestris don't rely on chemistry.

All its technological advancements rely on **al**chemy.

And yeah, there's automails, but it's done by experts in individual workshops. Not in big factories by machines which can churn them by the dozens.

Look at their reaction in CoS when a plane come through the portal. Total bewilderment.

Due to the "ease" of doing alchemy and how impressive it is, centuries ago, the world of FMA turned their research and technological progress in the direction of alchemy.

Which enable them to do things we weren't capable of, at the same period in time, *but* the reverse is also true!!!!!

The technological progress that allowed for the creation of latex condom and its wide distribution is just not there yet.

Latex condom *could* be made, possibly, like automail. By civilian alchemists in their own private workshops and sold at the front of the shop.

But masse assembly lines that allow the production of materials and goods in nation-worth quantity, at a speed to keep up with national wide demands and cheap enough to beat private contruction/creation by individuals, that absolutely require machines of type that don't seem to exists in Amestris/FMA because their technology hasn't evolved in that direction.

Therefore, latex condoms don't exist yet at the time of Edward's story.

Or, if it does, it's "unique pieces". Like pharmaceutical creations, goods made in the back of the shop by experts for one use only.

Must be wayyy more expensive than the ones we currently enjoy.

Also, you must have variations of quality, since you will have variations of quality of raw materials, alchemical arrays and skills.

They won't be one hundred percent safe everywhere so there wouldn't be as much "faith" in their effectiveness than we currently have.

There was a whole part of the population at the start of the century who thought they made sexual intercourse feel not as good as "bare" intercourses do. And since they aren't 100% sure, why bother, you know?

Of course, it wasn't everyone and the condoms themselves got better and better (in feels and safety) overtime but it didn't happened in a day.

Right until the early 2000, you still have big parts of the population who thought they were more problems then they were worth.

Still some do, today.

So, to write that people of Amestris buy, use and view condoms like we do nowadays is just anachronistic.

And now I want a fic where the people in Team Mustang have a discussion in the office about which shop sell the best ones and at which price and who tried what to "test" them.

And Mustang has so many facts and everybody is just??? "We knew you got around but not This Much" But really these are tips he picked up from Madame Christmas and all the sex workers he has ever known since he was four.

So, like, he is infodumping twenty years worth of Usefull Tips to be a helpfull good boss. And his team is like "you want to talk about it?"

[wingsofescape]

20 questions for writers

I was kindly tagged by @alighted-willow for this (thank you friend, you know how much I love these!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2 for now, but I have ideas for many more I keep shelved in order not to get distracted from my main project.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

88,706 (but 82k are from one fic)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far FMA 2003, but I did attempt a Yugioh fic a decade ago that luckily never saw the light of day. I started watching Detective Conan so maybe there will be a fic from that one day, depending on what my brain will decide to rot on.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I only have two fics published, soooo

in the cracks of light - 87 kudos

there'll be happiness after you - 32 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I love discussing observations and mutually scream with my readers. Also I really appreciate when someone takes the time to comment so the least I can do is return the favour. Equivalent exchange, if you will.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's complicated? there'll be happiness after you seemingly ends well, but since it's a prequel and shit unfolds in in the cracks of light... it's a fake happy ending and a prelude to loads of angst *kicks reveal chapter under the rug*

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I haven't finished it yet, but itcol will be getting a happy ending! I know it seems unbelievable now, but I promise it's a fix-it and it will end happily.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't gotten hate per se, but I've had some... disagreements over the genre and some "I expected [character] to react [a certain way] because that would rush the story along" where I'm like "it's called a narrative choice that I have fully analysed and can justify, what's your problem", but other than that...

Although there is a certain very divisive topic I'm handling in my fic which could lead to hate, but I've explicitly stated I would be very liberal with the block button if someone left hate, so I guess the haters know how to stay silent.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I'm actually sitting on a sex scene that was written two years ago and I can't wait to unleash it when the time comes (get it? Okay I'll see myself out).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope, but I would be tempted to maybe do a HTTYD/FMA crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sure hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone would like to translate a fic of mine, feel free! I'm a translator and editor by profession so if you would like a fic translated to either French or Danish let me know and I will do my best.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Me and two friends did have an idea two years ago but we never developed it to fruition.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Do I even need to say it... CoS Edwin all the way.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

As long as I finish itcol, I'm happy. It's more about wips I want to write but haven't started yet.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten the most positive feedback on characterisation and relationship building, as well as metaphors. I also think that for a first time mystery writer I didn't do too badly with plot twists and red herrings and kept people guessing till the end.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I overthink a lot and will get stuck until something is perfect. I overwrite a lot and I think my sentences can get clunky, and I really struggle with describing internal sensations and will overuse body language related to the eyes. Working on it, but urgh.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I speak four so it wouldn't be a problem, but I also know it can take a reader out of their experience, so I try to stick to just a few words.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Unpublished, Yugioh. Published, FMA 2003.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

It has to be in the cracks of light. That fic is my baby, it rekindled my love for writing and gave me the best community I could ever ask for. I'm really proud of myself for still being on this story even after two years of working on it and I love its plot and of course giving Ed and Winry the happy ending they deserve (and I like to stick it to the CoS director).

Tagging with no pressure @asthmaticbee @woahpip @darkpersonapeace @maples-pages @wickedcriminal and anyone I forget who would like to do this!

[novelmonger]

1, 7, 13, 14

Okay, you specified FMA or LotR, but I'm gonna do both because I can and because no one else is sending asks in.

The character everyone gets wrong

FMA - I think Hawkeye may be the one most likely for people to get wrong. If I had a nickel for every time I started reading a fanfic where Hawkeye is a trigger-happy lunatic that everyone in the office lives in fear of, and/or is a strict taskmaster who is perpetually annoyed with everyone, I'd be rich. She's a very complex and layered character, but so many people don't seem willing to look any deeper than the surface of a sequence that was played for laughs, and they make that her entire personality. Never mind all the examples we have of her being gentle, being someone children feel safe enough around to share their hopes and fears, getting emotional, relaxing and joking with friends, teetering on the razor's edge of suicide.... There are so many sides to her, and it's difficult to get her right, but it's also astonishing to me just how badly some people characterize her.

LotR - There are a few contenders, but...maybe Merry? Most of the blame can be laid to the movies, I think, but a lot of people seem to take him as "the more boring but less stupid Pippin." That does him such a disservice, because when you really pay attention to him (especially in the book), there's so much more going on than being part of a comic relief duo who eventually manages to kill a Nazgul. In actuality, he's debatably the most capable all-around of the four main hobbits, and he deserves much more recognition than he gets.

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts around them?

FMA - Hmm...you know, I'm not sure I hate any of the characters, really. Even the villains are at least interesting and well-developed, so I don't mind them as far as that goes. They serve the purpose they were made for. The character I come the closest to hating would probably be Kimbley, but that's entirely for what an awful person he is in canon. I will say I find certain prevalent descriptions of characters to be annoying because everyone uses them and they stopped being amusing twenty years ago. Like saying that Envy's hair makes him look like a palm tree. I've never liked that. But Envy is actually my favorite Homunculus in the manga/Brotherhood version, so....

LotR - The Show That Shall Not Be Named is almost enough to make me dislike Galadriel. Almost. Not quite. (And I haven't even watched said show!) Faux-Galadriel is a hateful abomination that I want to kick off a cliff, and any time a fan tries to defend her, I hate her that little bit more. Real Galadriel is super cool, though. I'm hoping that my current re-read of The Silmarillion and LotR will cement the real Galadriel in my mind again. This is what happens when you butcher a character and flaunt it like you're better than the person who created the character in the first place.

13. Worst blorbofication

FMA - I'm not entirely sure I understand the term "blorbofication," but I must confess I've never understood the obsession with Greed in the fandom. Like...yeah, it's a pretty cool concept for a villain and an interesting departure from the rest of the Homunculi because he's a rebel. But I don't personally find him that likeable; he creeps me out as much as the other Homunculi, and he's more unpredictable too because he's got his own agenda going on. I appreciate his help in the fight against Father, but I don't understand why he gets so much focus by certain circles of the fandom.

LotR - This is actually really hard, because all of the characters are so good, it's like...yeah, of course that's someone's blorbo. But if I have to pick one, I think I'm actually going to go with Legolas. Not because he's a bad or uninteresting character - by no means! But I think - partly because of the way he was handled in the movies, where he's little more than a pretty face who's good at shooting things - when fans latch onto Legolas as their blorbo, they forget a lot of details that make him so much more than that. Like how sassy he is. Or how just kind of...weird he can be, as an Elf in a party of beings who are much more down-to-earth.

14. The one thing you see in fics all the time

FMA - Ohhhh, there are so many dumb things to pick from ʘ‿ʘ I mean, there are good things (or at least things with the potential to be good) that crop up a lot too, like turning a character (usually Ed or Mustang) into a chimera and the rest of the characters having to deal with it. Or there are the things you see in fics from most fandoms, like self-inserts and "my super special OC tags along with the protagonists for some reason and basically nothing changes in the plot except that the protagonist falls in love with them." But one that's more specific to FMA is the fic where Ed randomly starts singing (sometimes with the accompaniment of a piano or maybe a guitar), even though there isn't the slightest indication in canon that he has any musical ability or interest whatsoever. It's usually very emo and angsty, and almost always features a Vic Mignogna song.

LotR - Confession time: I hardly ever read LotR fics. Mostly that's because no one can write as well as Tolkien, and whether the writer attempts to or not, it's often quite jarring when you compare it to the books. (I say this as someone who is currently attempting to write an LotR fic with the full knowledge that I will never reach that pinnacle of excellence. Generally, stories centered around hobbits don't stick out to me as much as ones about, say, Elves.) Anyway, I don't think I have enough data to really point to any trends. But one thing I'm pretty confident I can say, even without having read that many fics: Too many fics are focused on shipping.

Send me more spicy asks!

[scienceoftheidiot]

I was tagged to reply to those by @magipies thank you 🥰

3 ships : Royai (FMA) which I'm currently obsessing over in a seriously over the top way (people here can confirm but no one can confirm better than @qs63 I AM NOT SORRY), I would say Karedevil (DD) but I'm not invested in any part of the fandom anymore so eh and that would be Kirsten erasure so double eh, AND I ship anyone with Edmund (Ripper Street) now because that man needs. Love. A hug. Whatever. (Anyone but the redhead in S4 I mean this is obvious)(but Jackson counts. Just give the man some love please)(I think I like Mimimund the most considering the fics I wrote but 🤐)(just because I like the idea that they could find closure together after all that happened, but.... That's a very sad ship)

Last song : Requiem for a Dying Song by Flogging Molly, because.... Well, lyrics. Other hit is Oliver Boy (All of our Boys) by the same band. Same theme. I'm into a Flogging Molly time, which is not surprising considering late January is when I saw them live four years ago and this tends to make me listen to the bands I see. Damn that was long ago and damn that was a great time.

Last movie : I think... I think we rewatched Overlord ? Or... I think it was a horror movie. Okay either Overlord or 30 days of night (might not be the real title I translated word for word from French because I'm lazy)(there's Josh Hartnet in this one)(but Overlord is better)

Currently watching : husband has decided we would rewatch Obi Wan so we're rewatching Obi Wan and it's still not good but it's also not bad so.

Currently consuming : leftover pasta with olive oil. And raw carrots. Basically anything that's in the fridge cause I'm lazy. Maybe I'll eat some of the chili rice I made for tomorrow too.

As for media I'm reading the FMA manga, I'm at vol. 8 of the Perfect Edition, and it's great.

Currently craving : vol 9. And chocolate. Always craving chocolate. And chili rice too so I guess I'll just eat the chili rice. Cause I have no chocolate. AND A FUCKING NAP

Tagging : @heirsoflilith @residentdormouse @littleragondin and my brain is fried so open tag and I'll go nap bye

[roobylavender]

catching up on some tag memes. first is a fanwork creators self rec tag from @ravenkinnie where i reply with my five favorite fanworks (fics, art, podfics, etc.) that i've made, then pass on to others ♡ i actually haven't posted any fics in over two years so some of these i'm not really satisfied with anymore. but nonetheless!

hope that we'll rise like the sun will do / fullmetal alchemist / most fma fics i've written have been edwin focused, but this is the one fic i happened to write for the resembool trio so i am quite fond of it. in recent years i've also started to think more about canon minutiae (you may recall i once talked about researching the pre-wwi german wool industry), so the potential reasoning behind al's muscle atrophy and its relation to alchemy really intrigued me

as tightly as you held onto me / naruto / the hyperfocus on boruto's relationship with naruto and not with hinata despite there clearly being indications as to the latter being somewhat stronger has always been quite upsetting to me, esp as someone who has loved hinata for years lol. and back at the time the series ended there was this casual agenda for older boruto to grow his hair out and plait it so i took the opportunity at the time to turn it into a fic that i then polished years later into what i have linked above

my mouth waters to be fed / the sisters grimm / as an estranged romance truther puckabrina has always called to me and i really am always so fascinated by the fact that they simply don't speak to each other for five whole years before puck crashes sabrina's wedding in all his faux bravado and fanfare. i love it when people's pride gets in the way of their own yearning for each other, it's utterly delicious to explore, so as a fan in the minority who was a fan of the last book's epilogues, i simply had to write something to capitalize on that

the ground all around (it was always holy) / naruto / a few years ago i happened to loosely plan an entire post-canon fic series with each installment based on a different the oh hellos song (however this was prior to their releasing the four winds albums). this was the first chapter. i have working drafts of the next few chapters that i haven't polished and completed for a while now, but the concept is nonetheless very dear to me. i wanted to use it to explore more progressive ideas that felt truer to naruto's thesis statement than post-canon actually turned out to be

but heartache pales in comparison to love / naruto / i know i keep listing naruto fics but i've simply never written so many fics for any other fandom (to the point i have a separate blog exclusively for my naruto fics lol.. albeit most of them are old and have aged quite poorly). as a younger naruto fan i was entirely enamored with naruhina and that hasn't necessarily changed, but i have transitioned to being an angst supremacist, so. i went a little dark but nonetheless heartfelt with them here

i'm actually not sure how many of my mutuals are fic writers on here so i'm going to tag @pendulum-north and @derelictship !

[thehylianidiot]

No Clue What This Is, But Why Not?

tagged by @legendoftheotherside

Rules

Post the names of the files of your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you ask with the title that most intrigued them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. If you want, tag as many people as you have WIPS.

Don't have a lot of WIPs compared to a lot of other people, but thought it would be fun. So here's of the stuff I'm trying to work on and hopefully will finish one day (ha).

So here's the doc titles (many of which are subject to change)

Fairy Tail

The Other Four Idiots, Plus A Cat: My current time-waster cause I like roleswap aus. So I threw a bunch of characters into a blender. After all, who better to go taking the spot of heart-on-sleeve battle junkie with a penchant for friendship speeches than their emotionally constipated nerd brother?

To Slay a Demon: My rewrite oneshot for the Gray vs. Natsu fight, because I may have been the teensiest bit disappointed with it and got some inspiration.

The Little Raindrop of Magnolia: In an AU where Gray and Juvia start in different guilds, focuses on young accidentally-makes-flash-floods Juvia growing up with a support system.

These Are Not the Reincarnated Mortals You're Looking For: You know where at the end of Fairy Tail it was implied that Zeref and Mavis somehow reincarnated? As in were there, in the background, as the main series went on? You also know how many cults were and are still in Fiore? Let's combine these facts and make a comedy!

Consequences of Neo Eclipse: Anyone else think resetting time is a terribly shortsighted idea? In which Zeref wins, time is reset.... and he realizes he might have forgotten a few details after a few centuries.

Stars Align (And Then They Fade): In a totally-won't-end-badly retelling of 400 years ago, Anna goes on a quest for the Celestial Keys. And much like her descendent, she has to deal with her insane teammates.

I also had a few whumpril ideas, but none of them clicked on their own. Maybe they will be incorporated into future fics.

Legend of Zelda

Lost My Cap: A Minish Cap AU/retelling where Vaati gets rekt by his own hubris and has to clean up his own mess. With his old mentor. You can imagine how well this will turn out.

Believe me, I wanna try to make a big story incorporating characters from all across the series sometime. I just need to mesh all the ideas coherently in headspace still.

Genshin Impact

Just a Prototype/The Puppet God: There's one point about the consequences of absorbing divine knowledge capsule in Chapter 3 Act 5 that stuck with me. A few details in the follow-up interlude quest didn't help any. Thus, that last battle could go way different if say... there was in fact enough time for all divine knowledge capsules to be absorbed.

Crossovers

Untitled FMA/FT Project: I found out that Fairy Tail's Natsu and Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood's Greed shared the same dub voice actor and the idea spiraled from there, okay? Still piecing together the details, but I got some scene ideas.

Hmm... who to tag? (please ignore if you folks did this already, but feel free to @ me in a comment and I will try to read through it)

@genavere

@inkperch

@classysassy9791

@kiliinstinct

@pencilofawesomeness

@tokkias

Eh, 6 is good nuff.

[thorntopieces]

1. How many works do you have on A03?

currently 74 :)

2. What's your total A03 word count?

254 101 (two hundred and fifty-four thousand one hundred and one)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i've bounced between a fair few in the past 8 or 9 years. i don't currently write much due to depression, but it would be LU/LoZ/Persona if i did

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ad astra per aspera - fmab fic i wrote for my gf for our two year anniversary in 2019 [1060 kudos]

Silent love - also an fmab fic i don't recall the plot of [731]

His soulmate - also an fmab fic i don't recall the plot of :) (hello i have dissociative amnesia) [581]

Hold me - surprise surprise also an fmab fic i don't recall the plot of [559]

Sleepovers - i think the first fic i published on ao3, pjo/hoo [484]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

usually yes, unless they're spam

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhm i know i have written at least one open ending implied msjor character death fic but idk which one?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, no clue. im not gonna go through 74 works to check which one is the happiest

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i think i have in the past yes! but i don't remember details

9. Do you write smut?

i have, but i don't publish it. that's a personal preference though and might change in the future

10. Do you write crossovers?

i did back in 2015! pjo x hp specifically (it's deleted no you can't find it it was purged in one of the fanfiction.net purges). apart from that i don't believe i have, although i have some persona 3 x persona 5 stuff in the works

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i had ad astra per aspera translated into russian a few months ago and im very honoured :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! i wrote a few pjo collabs back in the day (i no longer write pjo/hoo, i have not read past hoo i am not interested in what happened beyond the final book of hoo /info). i have also written a few sherlock fics with the lovely and talented @aljedd

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

my longest comfort ship is drarry, but i don't interact with the ship and most definitely not the fandom much anymore due to other interests. it's kept me company for 14 years though so i won't let go of it. i will love it privately and personally in spite of jkr

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ive got about 100 wips in notebooks and docs. about four years ago i started writing a fma fic that really dissected life in real-life munich in the 1930s and put almost 80 research hours into it. i gave up on chapter 4/5 because it wasn't read and i moved on to writing other stuff. it's still on ao3 though. it's called interdimensional and was 30k before i gave up on it damn :/

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think im okay at writing emotional scenes?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i. hate. describing. environmnents. and. fighting. scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i've done that before! i think it's fine as long as translations are provided accessibly to the reader

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ranma 1/2 or winx club when i was like 8, though the first i posted for was pjo/hoo back in 2014/2015 (on fanfiction.net) :)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

uhm probably dark hair significance or ad astra per aspera.

@mydmdcorner enjoy the pain of tag game, @aljedd no pressure at all but since i already mentioned you i might as well do it again :)

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao

1. How many works do you have on A03?

18 as of a few days ago!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

60,763! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.

Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.

Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.

Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.

Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments! So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.

9. Do you write smut?

No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!! But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.

Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild

[everyonewasabird]

Brickclub 5.5.1 “Javert Derailed”

Wilbour/FMA really do this one a disservice with “Javert Off the Track” I think: I don’t know that it’s technically a mistranslation, but it makes the metaphor seem to be about detecting and criminal pursuit, when it is in fact about trains.

Which is so weird it has to mean something? Like: I think we can basically guarantee that Javert has never in his life seen a train? At this point, France has only one train line; it’s less than twelve miles long, connects two small towns a little southwest of Lyon, and opened for passengers four months ago. (England was further along in its railway journey, but I doubt Javert’s been there, either.) I’m sure urban French people of 1832 were aware of trains as a burgeoning technology, but that feels like a different relationship than one would have after living among operational railways.

On derailment specifically: It’s possible accidents due to derailment had happened by this point, but the earliest actual derailment I’m seeing on Wikipedia’s list of historical train accidents was a year later than this in New Jersey.

Why on earth are trains our metaphor?

I mean, an obvious answer is that they would have been a very available metaphor to Hugo and his audience by the time this is written, and something that’s incredibly efficient at moving in absurdly prescribed straight lines but fails catastrophically if loses that is genuinely a pretty good metaphor for Javert.

But it also feels sort of related to the ways that Javert is also in part an anachronism? This post (particularly the last reblog) points out how Javert was written partly according to what police were in his era (low-ranking, low-paid, criminal-adjacent, doing essentially grunt-work), but also to a significant extent according to what audiences had come to expect of police by 1860 (at least somewhat educated, somewhat middle-class, somewhat respectable, potentially clever at reasoning and detecting, potentially seeing their work as a calling).

And that makes sense. Hugo’s goal with Javert wasn’t solely to critique the police of the 1820s--why would he, they were extinct--but to critique policing more broadly. Making Javert a mashup of all the available police tropes, including leaning heavily on some of the more admirable ones from later in the century, makes him a much better critique of the modern criminal justice system.

I have no idea whether the modernness of the train metaphor is meant to echo the modernness of the metaphor of Javert himself, but it feels possible to me.

That the engine driver of order, that the mechanic of authority, mounted on the blind iron horse of the straight and narrow, could be thrown by a shaft of light! That the incommutable, the direct, the correct, the geometric, the passive, the perfect, could bend! That there was for the locomotive a road to Damascus!

Here, the train metaphor is coming surprisingly close to Javert’s voice. It’s not in his voice, these aren’t his metaphors (Damascus, the site of the conversion of Paul, doesn’t really feel like his metaphor family any more than trains do), and it’s way more aware of what’s happening than he is. Plus, throughout this chapter, that voice feels like it’s kind of making fun just a little bit of how stupid all his previous assumptions were, and this section feels like no exception.

But it’s close enough to feel like it’s echoing his feeling, and that’s incredibly strange? He doesn’t live in a mechanized world, so it’s fascinating that the best metaphor for him, even halfway within his own thoughts, is one of the most modern machines available to people of the time?

Most of our conversations about modernity in this book have been wildly positive--see Enjolras’s Quel Horizon speech, see Combeferre’s... everything--but it feels like now we’re acknowledging that Javert is also profoundly linked with modernity. All along we’ve seen the ancientness and hideous immutability of disproportionate punishment of crimes. But Javert isn’t linked with the old-fashioned ways of doing things, he’s linked with something much worse: he belongs to the growth of modern policing and the modern police state, a thing far more developed and formidable in Hugo’s time, I believe, than it was in canon era.

[weirdoldmanhoho]

do u have any fic recs?

Sorry it took me years to answer this! The truth was I really hadn't read many FMA fics (at least not since the FF days) and was waiting until I actually had some recs to give.

And now I have some! My list will surprise no one, I'm sure.

Soul Friends by KyberHearts

“They were not always, and simply, two minds in one body. Towards the latter part of their alliance, especially in the heat of battle and warmongering, their souls could not distinguish where the prince began and the sin ended.”

Ling Yao returns to Xing to seal his fate as the next Emperor and sets his plans for reunification and peace in motion.

Elsewhere, Alphonse Elric reconciles with the very Truth that stole his body.

I absolutely love the way this fic writes post-canon Alphonse and his relationship with Truth.

--

Damaged by xmypandabear

'"He's still in the hospital too, with the Lieutenant," Alphonse said dully. "Blood loss - someone slit her throat..." Ed stared up at the ceiling, remembered the scientist with the gold tooth, and shuddered at the image his brain conjured of the Lieutenant lying on the floor. "But Mei helped her! So, they're sharing a room - the Colonel and Hawkeye, I mean, not Mei, 'cause the Colonel can't use his hands yet, so she's helping him..."

"His hands?" Ed tried to remember.

"It's how they forced him to do it," Al whispered. "They pinned him down so he couldn't move."

Ed fought back nausea. The sense of wrong, wrong, wrong pervaded every sense of his being. How the fuck was any of that equivalent exchange?'

Love me a good post-promised day healing and processing fic. This one focuses a lot on how Al, Ed, Winry, and Roy are all doing immediately post-promised day and the relationships between all those characters.

--

Joining of Hands by ehmazing

If you're not breaking a couple of laws, is it really an Elric wedding?

Truly, the best thing about an AlMei wedding is all the hijinks and complications the come from foreign customs and marrying into royalty.

--

Legends by Elfpen

Alphonse Elric has been living and studying in Xing for a little more than a year and a half. Now, Ling has asked him - ordered him - to take on a new responsibility and fill the shoes vacated by Van Hohenheim four centuries ago. But what use are legends, really, when they're all frauds? The Son of Heaven and the Son of the Western Sage see it differently.

You ever find a fic that just feels completely catered to you and your interests? I love everything about this fic. Alphonse in Xing and the weird politics he has to maneuver as not only an incredibly skilled foreign alchemist but a close friend of the emperor's - all at a young age. His relationship with Hohenheim and the grief and confusion that comes from never really getting to KNOW Hohenheim and now having to come face to face with the lasting impact his father left on a foreign country. Ling scheming. It's all very, very good.

--

The Principle of Mentalism by The-Immortal-Moon (LunaKat)

There’s a woman with a wrench and a penchant for alcoholism, and what he doesn’t know is that she’s going to change everything.

Another fic that feels like it was written specifically for my interests. This one explores Pinako and Hohenheim's first meeting and how a rowdy mechanic from Resembool and a reserved guilt-written immortal from Xerxes ever became friends in the first place. Features Hohenheim and his one million soul friends and a young awkward Pinako who I want to give SUCH a big hug to. I love it so much.

--

We'll be Holding on Forever by zipadeea

"Hohenheim left them to save the world. But Dad loved them more than everything in the world."

AU where Alphonse gets his body back a little earlier on the Promised Day.

It changes nothing.

It changes everything.

Read this if you want to cry. It focuses on Ed and Hohenheim's relationship and it is full of pain but also healing and understanding. Great quick read.

--

ticket stubs and your diaries by nerdywriiterchild

Alphonse Elric is almost fifteen. He will never know Xerxes.

This one is short but packs a powerful emotional punch and a really interesting character study into only a few paragraphs. Explores the really interesting question: what is it like to mourn a culture you're a part of but will never really know?

--

Briding Her Time in Wait

The wedding date was set. Winry and Ling had screamed at one another for months during the preparation out of a mutual need for their childhood friend and half-sister to have the most incredible wedding in the history of either Amestris or Xing, and as a result the wedding canopy suffered from a unique blend of western and eastern traditions that left guests from both sides of the desert confused and requesting refills on drinks that didn’t exist. Still, the two wedding planners manipulated the day into running smoothly, Ling pulling his Emperor card when necessary, Winry pulling her, well, Winry card when necessary, while Ed and Lan Fan stood awkwardly around the food table making small talk that mostly consisted of complaints about automail. By the time the golden groom was ushered through a beautification process that left him requiring an escort to avoid the various women—and men—attempting to seduce him at the last minute, the guests were settled and the wedding was ready to roll.

Except no one knew where the hell the bride had gone.

I'm always a sucker for Scar and Mei's relationship.

--

One More Time, With Feeling

In the end the Elric brothers laughed over the irony: The traveller had settled to write books on alchemy while juggling two boisterous children blessed with Rockbell rockheadedness and Elric recklessness, and the settler had taken to travelling between Amestris and Xing for the remainder of his life. It came, really, with having two homes.

-------------------------------------------------------

A bird could love a fish, but where would they live?

This one explores Alphonse's relationship with Mei post-series and is VERY in line with how I picture it. Being in love with a foreign princess in line for the throne with a duty to her people and country would make for a very complicated and often strained relationship.

--

Magic and Mind by Preelikeswriting

Of all things Edward was prepared for as the day of reckoning grew near, being transported from one world on the edge of war to another was not one of them.

AKA: Edward gets accidentally summoned by Death Eaters, and neither party is happy.

(Pre-Promise Day, HP book 5)

Ok so preface: I rarely like crossover fics and I very rarely like HP crossover fics, but this one just works for me. I think what I like so much about it is that Edward doesn't just get thrown into the world of HP and join the golden trio / order and start fighting Voldemort. Oh no. He does not care about their fight at all. He just wants to get back home and will do anything he needs to to achieve that, even if it makes him look like he's working with Death Eaters or going against Harry and friends.

I think the fun of this fic is that it kind of plays around with the fact that the READER knows who the good guys are of each series and would expect them to join forces. Sure, Ed is the Good Guy of FMA and Harry and friends are the Good Guys of HP, but Ed's goals don't really align with Harry's goals and so they're not really working together, and Ed kind of comes off looking shady af to the HP characters despite the fact that the reader knows why he's doing what he's doing. It's a far more interesting take on Ed goes to HP world than "Ed immediately joins the fight against Voldemort."

The series has three works so far and I haven't finished it, but I really loved the first and what I've read of the second. It also eventually heads into Ed/Draco territory which is not a ship I would have initially read but.....kind of works for me here.

[kerra-and-company]

🖊️🖊️🖊️ for any beebs you wanna gush about <3

Sounds like a plan, thank you so much @i-mybrunettelady! :D <3

🖊️: A while ago you asked me about how Minei joined the Vigil, and I never actually gave you an answer (because Brain and also School, fun times), so I'll take this space to do that!

(Putting this and the other answers under a cut because this got much much longer than anticipated asldjk;fasdf)

Since Kerra's my commander but very much not human, she doesn't ever earn the title of Hero of Shaemoor--instead, Minei ends up involved in that fight. Her adoptive father had been attacked by bandits, and she was traveling outside of the city to grab some specific medical supplies. She jumps into protecting Shaemoor when the city comes under attack, along with a decently-sized group of others, which is how she first meets Logan Thackeray. He recognizes that she's young, but based on her necromancy skill and mannerisms, he and the others at Shaemoor assume she's a young adult rather than a barely-15-year-old kid.

(Also, an important distinction here--Minei actually doesn't take the title of Hero of Shaemoor either, in part because her experience of the event is more a group effort than the in-game version. The reason that this distinction is so important is that she doesn't get the fame that goes with the title, but she does become friends with Logan. If she had earned the title and consequently become more famous, she never would have joined the Vigil--in that situation, it's far more likely that someone would have realized how old she actually was and wouldn't have allowed her to join.)

Logan agrees to help Minei track down the bandits responsible for attacking her father, and they manage to bring them to justice, but her father eventually succumbs to his injuries. Petra stays with family friends, and she ends up more or less in charge of the tavern with Minei supporting her and training alongside the Seraph. Minei considers officially joining them to help keep her sister and herself afloat, and Logan is supportive of the idea, though he tries to assist them as well as much as he can.

The turning point towards her joining the Vigil is her helping Logan and the Order representatives to kick the Risen out of Lychcroft Mere (which follows a similar but not identical storyline as the human level 30 personal story, the main difference being that Minei is more an assistant/trainee than an Advocate of any kind). She learns that the dragons are a serious threat, and she learns to respect the ideals of the Vigil as well as their representative, Crusader Hiroki. The Seraph are directly loyal to Kryta and the Queen, while the Vigil fights the dragons and isn't loyal to any particular nation. Minei cares about Kryta, but she's far more loyal to her sister than anything else, and the thought of dragon minions (specifically the Risen) taking Petra away is particularly terrifying to her. She knows death magic and how dangerous it can be. Zhaitan's corruption isn't the same as her necromancy, but it's close in some ways, and the similarity, oddly enough, is what frightens her. Considering all those factors, when Hiroki asks her if she'd perhaps like to join the Vigil, she says yes.

🖊️: Because this is the Minei space now, you also asked me about her and Grenth (and just her take on the Six in general), so have some facts about that! :D

She received Grenth's blessing when she was almost too young to remember, approximately four years old. Her birth parents both passed away at the same time*, and she, being a grieving, untrained child who only really understood that they'd gone somewhere she couldn't reach, tried to bring them back. All she succeeded in doing was becoming so exhausted that she ended up on the brink of death herself. Grenth was intrigued by this child who was so young and yet fought so hard for her parents, reminding him just slightly of himself. He could not return them to her (lest he return all parents who left behind young children), but he did help guide her back to her body**, and she was left with a strong connection to death--and, in a sense, to resurrection as well. It's the reason that raising minions is what comes most naturally to her.

The reason I compared her to Edward Elric from FMA before (who had the experience of "I met basically-God and still am agnostic", though those aren't quite her feelings on the subject) is that she understands that she was given a gift and is thankful for it, but she's also irreverent at the same time, an attitude brought on in part from growing up more-or-less alone for five years. She believes wholeheartedly that the Six exist and that they are powerful, but she doesn't see the need to worship them for it. Respect them? Absolutely. Worship them? Not really. It's a bit of a thin line to walk as well as an outlier point of view amongst humans, and she learned early on to stop sharing it lest others become scandalized, angry, or both. Her sister Petra is one of the few people who's come to accept her POV, though Petra doesn't share it.

*Minei doesn't know the reasons for this, and she's never really thought to ask. To her, them being gone has been a fact of her life, and she's had so much else going on that she's never thought to question why that is.

**She would have eventually found her way back on her own, but it would have taken longer. She basically got a god-chaperone, which has to be pretty neat.

(Side note: I bet you've read these, Nero, but I just went through all the Parables of the Gods on the wiki, and if you haven't read them please do, they're fascinating.)

🖊️: To switch this up and give you a brief bonus fact about someone else, I've mentioned a couple times now (or maybe only once? unsure) that Ia runs into some trouble with the Nightmare Court. While Kerra (and Rhi) and Dragon's Watch and the Pact are in Cantha, the NMC tries to kidnap the sprout twins. They succeed in grabbing Ia (but not Tev), and they manage to hold onto her for about a week before Cyprian manages to rescue her completely by accident. (It should be noted that the NMC who took her are VERY lucky that Cyprian found Ia first before her parents did. They're dead either way, but one encounter would have been SIGNIFICANTLY worse for them.)

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 77 Rundown!

Code Geass: So since Shirley’s dead, Lelouch has a similar thought to Cornelia and blames the power of Geass itself instead of her actual murderer. So instead of using the Geass Order like he planned he decides to say fuck it and burn it all to the ground, completing his Darth Vader transformation by not only killing the men, but the women AND THE CHILDREN AND THE SCIENTISTS (Science is the fourth gender, look it up, it’s in Dr. Stone). But yeah half of this episode is just murdering scientist who granted were making child supersoldiers but also don’t have any weapons, like they have zero security no wonder Cornelia was able to walk right up to V.V. And the Black Knights are pissed about killing civilians but I feel like once the horde of children starts making them shoot each other they should get the picture. Rolo murders all his friends, C.C. murders all her former supports, Dietard puts a ninja hit out on Ohgi and Viletta also wants to kill Ohgi, poor Ohgi the dude has like nothing going for him and just ended up in this fucked up chess game and he’s just some dude that fell in love when he saw Viletta naked (didn’t we all)  but anyway V.V. pilots Jeremiah’s Pumpkin Battleship and before Lelouch can make Rolo kamikaze himself for killing Shirley, Cornelia wipes him out anyway in probably her most badass moment in the series, using the Pumpkin Battleship’s Byakugan Blindspot to bring it down. V.V. is dead like five times over but Charles comes out to drag Lelouch into the Spear of Longinus so he can do Human Instrumentality or whatever.

Inuyasha: Naraku’s kidnapped Rin so Sesshomaru will kill Inuyasha for him and Sesshomaru hates two things more than anything: being implied he likes humans, and being told what to do, so he tells Naraku to fuck off and goes to fuck him up. This being one of Naraku’s plans of course Sesshomaru doesn’t actually have a choice in this and the battle is a farce so he can spread bits of himself all over and absorb Sesshomaru like Super Buu did to Mystic Gohan. However Inuyasha’s new powerup lets him throw a wrench in that by breaking his barrier and Kagura has to pretend to fight him even though she just wants the doggy brothers to fuck Naraku up. Also Kohaku and Rin have a cute little interaction while he’s holding her captive and Kohaku sees Sango again which triggers his selective amnesia shit. Like you get the feeling Kagura probably would’ve been a better guard for Rin but Naraku only has so many named demons and Kanna isn’t allowed to do anything so might as well throw Kohaku in there to get bonus mental damage to Sango which only works out if you know they’re going to split up like that. But again, this is one of Naraku’s plans so it’s like 50% torture, 50% just trolling people to fuck with their heads.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Younger Toguro faked his death and ambushes Yusuke’s date with Keiko because the plot just doesn’t want this relationship to happen. Toguro pulls up on a motorcycle which is just kind of weird to see and he takes Yusuke somewhere, idk if they walked or if Yusuke got on the back of the motorcycle but Toguro either tossing his motorcycle away to go walk to a car park with Yusuke or Yusuke holding onto Toguro’s waist while they ride are equally hilarious images. Anyway Toguro demolishes the parking garage while still breaking all the rocks that are about to crush Yusuke just to literally flex on him how much stronger he was than when they fought. It’s weird because Toguro seems to kinda be mad about having to fake a loss but also respect Yusuke as a fighter which is strange since Kuwabara was the one that put in the effort for that fake win. That doesn’t matter though cause it’s DARK TOURNAMENT TIME BABY! One of the most iconic anime arcs ever is about to begin and it’s kinda funny they yadda yadda over a two month training arc like there’s like three minutes of Kuwabara training with Hiei and Kurama (where Kurama is the bad cop ironically enough) and Yusuke training with Genkai again before it’s like “Okay let’s just get to the tournament” like I don’t think I’ve ever seen an anime where they announce the tournament and then go sign up for it in the same episode, usually they milk that shit to really sell the preparation but they go with “Here’s a few scene and Yusuke’s a lot stronger now, take our word for it” which is a funny way to start one of the most epic tournament arcs ever.

Fate Zero: This is an episode I’ve heard a lot about, Iskandar, Saber and Gilgamesh fuck around drinking, the whole thing kinda reads like a fanfiction or a Ghost in the Shell episode since 75% of it is just talking. Gilgamesh is basically like “Yo, see that shit? All that shit is my shit, even if I don’t know what it is, it’s mine, so fuck off.” Iskandar’s like “What could the man who once conquered the whole world want? To conquer the whole world TWICE!” and Saber’s like “Hey my whole country got destroyed cause I was thrown into a role I was grossly underqualified for so, maybe not that?” and this pisses Iskandar off because her regret and martyrdom isolates and enfeebles her, he sees the downfall of nations as inevitable and leadership as something to form a community that emulates their leader, not to isolate the ruler as some lone pillar. Also Kirei’s Assassins jump them and Iskandar uses Unlimited Dude Works to stomp them all. Basically it’s the whole Ling/Bradley discussion from FMA but with more nuance, rulers have to benefit their people but they can’t be so dragged down by it that it destroys everyone involved once that pillar collapses. So Iskandar’s like “Yeah you have a really toxic way of looking at things Saber, I’m out. Stop beating yourself up about what’s already happened.” And Gilgamesh is like “No, let her keep beating herself up, this fun, I’m having fun.” So Saber has the admiration of the villain and the disdain of the hero which is an odd situation to be in.

Konosuba: So this one is an OVA or something I think so we don’t get closure on the whole “Kazuma is going to jail for horny and non-horny crimes alike” subplot but we do get a cute little story about Kazuma slowly getting murdered while basically doing the Higurashi Punishment Games on everyone. Ironically he’s not pervy enough for Darkness or Aqua because he’s just a voyeur for Darkness and Aqua he apparently has no sexual attraction to whatsoever. It’s kind of interesting because a few times one or two of them heavily imply they’d just straight up take his virginity if it’d help and he doesn’t go for it, I don’t know if that’s better or worse than what he actually does but once again the ‘principled scumbag’ archetype comes into play and it’s always fun to see what Kazuma will or won’t do, it tends to be just enough that we’re willing to see him punished but not enough to make us hate him, it’s a surprisingly good balance. Anyway, Darkness is boobs, Kazuma may be a lolicon for Megumin, Yunyun and Wiz are also boobs, Aqua is boner repellant and Kazuma dies anyway because the real wish was the friends we made along the way but real friends are the ones that murder you when you’re a scumbag… or something. On to Season 2 next week!

Sailor Moon Crystal: I’m kind of  loving the Evil Tuxedo Mask aesthetic, like the bishie face with the red eyes and the suit is really cool-looking. Anyway Tuxedo Mask is evil now and seduces Usagi all over again with the power of evil and video games. There’s probably a message here about girls falling for toxic boys but that’s the subtext over a lot of Sailor Moon that there’s lots of bullshit out to get teen girls and they shouldn’t waste their energy on it. Usagi’s kind of having an existential crisis over evil Tuxedo Mask and Luna’s feeling bad about calling him evil before and now that he actually is evil she doesn’t know what to do. Anyway he finds Zordon’s Tower by hypnotizing Makoto and we do the full transformation scene and speech for four of the scouts so you really know they were stretching the plot with this one. Usagi gets over herself but it’s too late, Evil Mask has the crystal and summons Queen Beryl by… flapping his cape, guess calling her was that easy, man you’d think they coulda just stomped these guys a long time ago but oh well.

Durarara!!: We leave off where Shizuo just crushed someone with a car door, good times. Celty takes the knife they had, believing it to be Saika but is so superstitious about it she doesn’t even see it’s a crappy Pampered Chef knife that’s like two years old max. Then Haruna, the reporter’s daughter reveals not only did she have a weird relationship with the teacher hitting on Anri but she’s also controlling all the Saika zombies around the city because to swords cutting people is loving them like how sharks bite things to see what they are. She sics her army on Anri and Shizuo separately and goes after her teacher who was just coming to sexually harass Anri again so… yay? Anyway Shizuo says fuck you to being in a polyamorous relationship with hundreds of sword zombies and Anri reveals that Haruna’s Saika isn’t the real Saika because HER Saika is the real Saika, we got katana school girls here folks, it really is an anime after all.

[the-lonely-tree-original]

Green With Envy (FMA Oneshot)

Just kind of thought about what would happen when Roy got a new alchemist under his belt and...

When all is said and done, Edward Elric doesn’t want much. He wants a good life, that’s true. He wants to go to sleep in a warm bed and be able to put food on the table and have other necessary comforts, of course. There was that obvious desire not so long ago to get his and his brother’s bodies back, but he had succeeded. By all accounts, he should be perfectly content for at least the next couple of months, still running off of that dream-come-true high.

But he isn’t.

How could he be when that was happening right before his eyes?

It had been childish to curl his lip at the new Major, to refuse to shake his hand, but how could he pretend? Was he supposed to lie and act like everything was fine when it wasn’t? Is that something that he should just be able to do?

Try as he might, Ed couldn’t stop the hurt that clawed at his heart when he saw him, greeted by the team like an old friend.

The new Major is kind. He’s all smiles and laughter and Ed even saw him give his coat once to a civilian who’d been caught in a storm. He should be happy that the military is finally accepting people who aren’t complete bastards.

But he isn’t.

And he hates him.

Major Braddock was one of the many new recruits hired by Fuhrer Grumman after the fight with father. He’s young - not younger than Ed, of course, but young enough to not have started a family yet. He probably just got out of school.

So really, Ed should have nothing against this 20-something-year-old boy who only wants to secure his future in a steady job, but he does. Because he was assigned to them. Mustang’s unit. Right after Ed had resigned from duty.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if Braddock was older. If he didn’t have a little brother just like Ed. Because, for all of their differences in appearances, it did nothing to stop the feeling that he was being replaced.

He watched Braddock’s exchange with his team (his old team), feeling like a band was tightening around his chest. Alphonse - sweet, genius Alphonse - noticed the way his hands were clenching into fists and teeth were digging into lips and guided him away with a soft, flesh hand on his back.

When they got to their room, Ed looked at the final resignation documents on his desk, lying so innocently on the carved wood. He’d have to go in tomorrow, or else some time soon, and turn them in. Back then, before they’d gotten their bodies back, Ed and Al had talked about what they would be doing after. Resignation had seemed so simple. They’d hated the military, so why would they stay?

He’d never thought it would be this hard

***

He walked up the steps of central command alone. His brother was meeting up with the doctor to check in with his physical prowess, and Al had gotten bored of his pestering, so he told Ed to make himself busy. Obliviously, he phrased it better, but the message was all the same: give me space. So here he was, marching awkwardly up the steps while trying to pretend he didn’t feel like the building was going to eat him alive.

Seeing the team should be happy. It really should. But what if he’s inside?

Ed clutched the papers tight to his chest, using them as some sort of stress-reliever. How would Mustang react when he saw the crumpled up sheets? Would he joke about Ed’s penmanship as usual? Or would he accept it with a nod and send him on his way? Just the bare minimum of acknowledgement before sending him off to the rest of his life. Without them.

It was irrational, Ed knew, to feel like this. It wasn’t like he was useful to Mustang anymore. Without alchemy, he was a dog without fangs. Their whole relationship was founded upon using each other and now he was nothing more than a broken toy.

He needed a new toy. A shining gold star to add to his resume when climbing up the ranks. With Ed he only had a desperate kid who defected not even five years into the job. He knew it wasn’t fair to Mustang, who’d shown on countless occasions that he cared deeply about those who worked under him. It wasn’t fair to label him as some heartless, power hungry bastard that only cared about his own gains.

But.

But it was the only thing that could ease the pain he was feeling.

“It’s the Fullmetal Alchemist!”

“Edward Elric!”

Ed smiled abashedly. After the whole father fiasco, Ed had become somewhat of a celebrity in the military ranks. Those who were there seemed to go out of the way to make him feel a little more welcome, smiling at him when he walked down the halls and occasionally going out of their way to get him coffee or something like that. Even those who weren’t looked at him somewhat in awe, not quite understanding the treatment he was getting since the event was kept on the down low, but also trying to fit in with the crowd.

Even Mustang’s team treated him differently. It just wasn’t the good different. Walking into their office proved as much.

He was still greeted warmly by Hawkeye, addressed as “Chief” by Breda and Havoc, saluted by Falman and Fuery - that much was true. But it was different. Hawkeye didn’t linger to ask him about his day, instead going straight to Mustang’s office to announce his arrival. Havoc didn’t playfully rough up his hair or Breda make fun of his height. Even the more resigned members of Team Mustang seemed to be holding back more than usual.

It was like an invisible force was driving them apart. Home isn’t supposed to be a place, it’s supposed to be a people, and this small home he’d made felt unfamiliar and cold. There was a distance there that there wasn’t before.

“Edward, the General will see you shortly.” Ed nodded politely at Riza’s words, surprising himself by nodding at all. There used to be a time when he would just barge into Mustang’s office, completely uncaring of the audience in the room. Now it felt wrong to even knock.

“What’s with that look on your face, Chief? You about to fight a homunculus or something?” Breda’s joke fell flat. Ed would probably prefer that right about now. At least then he’d only have to worry about himself.

The door to the office opened. “Or something,” Ed murmured. Joyous laughter came tumbling out of the room alongside a pair of boot-clad feet. Accompanying it, was the rare, genuine chuckling he only heard once in a blue moon. Ed could never make him laugh like that, but a new, unfamiliar recruit could. Right there, a stone slammed into his stomach because how else could he explain the lack of air and the agonizing pain and the-

“Edward, you wanted to see me?” Ed should be happy, Mustang’s talking to him in the same tone as always. But he called me Edward. He’s always called me Fullmetal.

“Y-yeah. I’m here to finalize my resignation.”

Mustang looked down at the papers in his hands, eyes harding into obsidian pools. “Ahhh, yes, I can take those from you.”

Ed handed over the forms, not oblivious to the way the whole team was silent at his statement. Were they waiting for something to happen or what?

“Step inside for a moment Ed-” he bit his cheek “-I just want to make sure everything’s correct.”

He sat down silently and waited for Mustang to finish examining his papers. From the tensing of his shoulders, Ed could tell the other man felt just as out of place as himself. After a few minutes, the General shuffled the papers and piled them into a neat stack.

“Everything checks out.” There was a long silence in which the two stared at each other, searching for something but not knowing what. After a while, though, it all became too much and Ed stood to leave, only stopping because of Mustang’s voice calling out to him. “Anything the matter, Ed? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“I’m fine.” You aren’t, but it’s nothing he needs to trouble himself with.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” No, you don’t even know why you’re feeling this way.

The other man sighed, before relaxing back into his seat. “Okay, if you say so. Visit us soon, okay?” Ed nodded and began walking towards the door. “I’ll miss you.”

Those three words were what did it. He didn’t cry, per say (after going through so much it just became hard to cry), but there was something lodged in his throat causing him to choke. He heard Mustang’s chair push back - he was probably getting up out of concern more than anything - and felt the man’s presence hover behind him, unsure of what to do.

“Edward?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the door was closed, which meant that no one else would see him break down. It was a weird train of thought to be having at the moment, but he’d been feeling so detached lately that it wasn’t that much of a surprise to him.

“Edward,” Mustang repeated.

“Fullmetal.”

“What?”

“You used to call me Fullmetal.”

“...Oh… of course… Fullmetal, what’s wrong?” The way he acted like that mistake was nothing… and to him it probably was, but...

With a clogged throat, Ed said, “I’m going to miss you too, you know… but it feels like I already missed my chance to say goodbye.”

Even without looking at the man, he could see the confusion on his face. “What do you mean?” he asked. The confusion was evident in his voice as well.

“You just- it just-” Ed paused, trying to get his words straight. “It just isn’t the same anymore, whenever I talk to you. Or the team. It feels like I’ve lost whatever connection I had.” He finally looked up at Mustang. The man was silent, only looking at him with very sad eyes. “And, with Barddock here, I feel replaced.”

That snapped Mustang out of whatever trance he’d been in, obsidian eyes dark with anger, arms latching onto his shoulders. “You listen to me, Fullmetal. No one, and I repeat, no one, can ever replace you. If you actually think that then you’re a lot dumber than I thought. Because, for the four years I’ve known you, I’ve never met anyone so brave, noble, and kind.”

Ed chuckled, eyes watering a bit at the praise. “Are you sure that you’re not talking about yourself, Bastard.”

Mustang didn’t laugh. “I want you to know that you’re the most remarkable person I’ve met. I will never forget how much you changed this country - you changed me - I could never replace you. I’m sorry that you feel this way - that I’ve made you feel this way. I was under the impression that you wanted nothing to do with the military once you and your brother got your bodies back, but I see now that the way I was going about doing so was wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Being called Fullmetal is just as big a part of your identity as being called Ed. Furthermore, the bonds you made here run much deeper than work associate, and it was cruel of me to distance myself as both your friend and your-” He cut off abruptly, pulling Ed into a hug. “And I’m sorry. I must have influenced the behavior of the team, and for that, I am sorry as well.” Squeezing gently, he said, “We all care about you so much, kid. And you have no idea how much they’d beat themselves up if they knew we made you feel this way. If you’re going to take one thing away from this, Fullmetal, please remember that you are irreplaceable in our eyes, okay?”

Ed nodded against his shoulder, returning the hug even tighter than the Flame Colonel. Smiling, he said, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Mustang shifted in order to flatten his hair - when it got messed up, he didn’t know, but the action was so soothing and caring that Ed was finally able to let go of a few of his tears. The sound he let out was a choked sob, but it was a lot happier than before.

“Just because you’re no longer part of our team on paper, does not make that true. We still want you to visit us and talk to us and tell us about your day. We still want to be a part of your life and watch you grow up. You are, and always will be, part of our family.”

~El Fin~

[liquorisce]

... tell me i’m beautiful?

pairing: royai, roy mustang x riza hawkeye

fandom: Full Metal Alchemist (Brotherhood/Manga)

summary: on some nights Riza is delicate. and Roy is possessive. (warning: unhealthy amounts of pining.) (also havoc is a good friend) 3677 words.

a/n: i saw on my tumblr feed that it’s fma day (3.10) (the day when the greatest angst of our generation was born), and i was hit with major feels for full metal alchemist. it truly is one of the greatest stories of our generation. anyway, here is some old royai from my wip notes that i had to dust the cobwebs off of (that my anxious ass never had the balls to post). my writing style has changed over the years, but my heart is still so full for these two, so it was fun to rewrite.

The buzz around the Eastern Headquarters is that one of the Top ranks is getting hitched and that it’s going to be a fancy affair, traditional with a masquerade ball.

When Roy sees an invite in his post, he’s rather surprised. But the wedding is in Central and it’s an excuse to see his best friend, so it doesn’t seem so bad after all.

“Lieutenant,” he asks, just as she is about to leave for the day, “what’s all this I hear about a ball at the General’s wedding?”

“It seems we must be accompanied with a date, Sir. You received the invitation four weeks ago.” He detects some annoyance in her words, but he lets it pass, because his brain has begun to imagine Hawkeye in a dress, especially one of those grand, frilly ones.

“Then you will accompany me.”

It was acceptable, the way he states it like it’s the obvious course of action, because he is her superior after all. But it also ticks her off, that he expects it, without even bothering to ask. She may be his subordinate but there are times when she wishes he would just see her as a woman.

“That won’t be possible, Sir.”

She is just as shocked with her own coldness as he is, his eyebrows twitching in question.

“I’m afraid I’ve already promised Havoc I would go as his date.”

His eyes narrow and she sees a flicker of emotion awash in the dark of his eyes and she almost feels as if she’s done something wrong.

But she hasn’t, and she will not apologise. She clenches her fist. 

“Ah,” he drawls, not missing a beat, “have you decided what to wear yet?”

That wasn’t the question she was expecting and it throws her off balance.

“I,” she pauses for a moment, to regain her composure, “I haven’t thought about it yet.”

She doesn’t want to engage in his banter anymore, because there are feelings involved - mostly hers, and they are irrational, she thinks - and expectations, expectations that have no basis but are yet difficult to do away with. So she hastens to the door.

He’s quiet for a minute, but because he can’t help himself, he murmurs, “… You should wear green. It suits you." 

… 

She ends up wearing a dress, it’s slinky, tighter than the clothes she’s used to, slipping past her knees. Somehow she finds herself in heels, black strapped ones she’s borrowed from a friend that she clearly cannot walk in. It lacks the comfort of her boots but she deals with it, because apparently this is the price that comes along with looking pretty. 

The dress is borrowed too, but she doesn’t miss the fact that out of all the dresses Rebecca paraded as options, she reached for the dark green one. … Apparently it suited her. 

At least that is what she is assured of when Havoc comes to pick her up, his eyes popping in surprise when he sees her. 

"Wow,” he let’s out a loose whistle, “you clean up real good, don’t you?" 

She blushes and it’s another rare sight. "The Hawkeye blushing?” He teases, “I’ve got to be dreaming." 

They make their way to the wedding and Havoc dives headfirst to the bar. She isn’t surprised. She looks around, her eyes seeking whom she had stubbornly decided not to care about and she sees him with a woman - obviously - hanging onto his every word. 

An officer of sorts, she guesses, but not from their division, because Roy has unleashed his charm, his eyes twinkling flirtatiously. 

She averts her eyes to the bar and to her date, who despite his melancholy has ordered an extra drink for her, a cocktail which he swears is the best he’s ever had. The thought of alcohol seems far more appealing than watching her superior with yet another woman.

… 

"Did you want to dance, Lieutenant?" 

She’s a few drinks down, he’s had even more and his words are beginning to slur. 

"I’m sorry,” he says and he sounds genuinely remorseful. “I just… I can’t get her out of my head." 

She pats his head comfortingly and he slumps a little on the counter. "You loved her that much?" 

He nods gloomily and Riza pretends to ignore the glisten of his eyes. Havoc’s eyes rest on the newly married couple, a little envious of the ingenuity of their smiles. 

"You know, I actually thought we would make it there." 

He doesn’t have to say it but Riza knows he’s talking about the altar, of dreams of marriage that he harboured for his ex-girlfriend. He was painful to watch these past few weeks, ever since Rebecca ended things with him, and when he asked her to the wedding, she couldn’t help but agree. 

Besides, she had made sure Roy had seen the invitation days ago and if he hadn’t asked her by then, it was quite likely he never would. 

"I’m sure you’ll find someone else,” she says comfortingly. “Even we soldiers are allowed to be happy eventually.” She isn’t sure she believes it, but for someone as pure as Havoc, surely fate can be kinder.

He tries his best to put on a smile, nodding with the optimism in her words. “Well hopefully I find happiness before my hair turns grey,” he jokes, making her giggle. 

It feels nice, letting her hair down with a friend, even though she would rather let her hair and a lot of other things down with a certain someone else, but she tries not to think of it. 

When she turns, the smile is wiped clean off her face, because her gaze catches the eyes of that same someone else, eyes dark as night, hair even darker, swept back to show off the handsome angles of his face. He is with someone else, a pretty brunette with her back bare and his hand splayed on it, and they are moving to the music but his eyes are on her, intense, questioning… reprimanding her almost. 

For what? She thinks heatedly, he has no right to look at her like that, like he’s displeased with her, when she cannot even express just how unhappy she is with him. 

“But seriously, Lieutenant,” Havoc says, hesitating for a moment, but choosing honesty, “you look amazing tonight. I must be the envy of every man in here." 

She lets herself bask in his appreciative gaze and her cheeks heat up. "You really think so?" 

He nods, smiling at her. "You sound surprised. A woman like you must be used to such compliments, isn’t it?”

She laughs ruefully. Compliments? She couldn’t remember the last time a man had ever called her pretty. At least not since she entered the military. “You’re the first, Havoc." 

His mouth almost gaped open in surprise. 

She went on, her frustration further driven by the alcohol in her blood. "No one’s ever even asked me out,” she says, helplessly. “Sure, there had been a few men who seemed interested, but even they never tried to take things further." 

The Lieutenant didn’t date, everyone knew that. But listening to her open up about it, doubting herself, he felt for her. 

Because he was one of those men too, a long, long time ago. 

He remembers when he first joined the unit, newly assigned to Eastern, full of smiles. 

The place really was swarming with beautiful women, just as he had heard. He figured he would get on here just fine. 

And when he first entered the office of the Major Roy Mustang whom he was assigned to, he thought his heart was going to stop. 

He had never seen anyone like her, young, strong, leaning over the table and giving the Major a piece of her mind. She scolded him like she had the authority to, and he listened, even though there was a formal apology attached to her rant in the end. 

He was stunned, unable to do anything but watch when she turned around and stalked out of the room, because the view from the front was even better than behind, a round heart-shaped face framed in short blonde hair, deep brown eyes and a body that would make anyone’s thoughts stain the darkest shade of impurity. 

Life, of course, had very different plans for them, even though they got closer, just like he wished. One afternoon, Rebecca walked into the office and threw her arms around Riza, and Havoc soon learnt that love was far more nuanced than admiration at first sight.

"At first I thought it was the uniform,” she confesses, “I thought maybe I was just scaring the men away." 

You have no idea, he thinks, sighing. Riza Hawkeye was made of fire, and it turned men on even if they were afraid of being burnt by it.

"But my friend Jessica had absolutely no problem when it came to this sort of thing." 

She casts her eyes lower, twirling the remnants of her whiskey. "Maybe there’s just something wrong with me." 

Her lips lift up in a sardonic grin. "I’m a pretty pathetic Lieutenant, huh?” She rests her forehead against the counter. “I can’t believe I’m here at a wedding, crying over men.” Sighing, she murmurs, “I suppose these feelings are par for course when you have couples dancing all around you." 

He rests his hand over the back of her head, ruffling the softness of her locks. "It isn’t pathetic,” he murmurs comfortingly, “You’re only human, after all. We’re all just idiots who want nothing more than to be loved." 

He leaves out the part where he willingly offers himself up for the job, spurred a little by his already broken heart and embers of a decade-old attraction that never went away. He could make her feel special, take her out on all the dates she feels she missed out on, tell her she’s beautiful till she never doubts it ever again. It would be a selfish distraction, but Havoc is a romantic, and maybe, just maybe, it would lead them down a different path to happiness.

But he remembers what made him give up that mission in the first place, all those years ago, cold, blazing eyes that delivered a threat far worse than his words. 

"There will be no fraternisation within this unit,” he had stated calmly before even Havoc had gotten a chance to admit to it himself. “If I find out you’ve laid a hand on her, I will have you transferred out of Eastern before you know it." 

Back then he didn’t know if Major Roy Mustang even had that sort of power. But something else told him that if he didn’t listen it would be his burnt corpse they would be carrying out of Eastern. 

Even now Havoc knows it’s useless, that he cannot even comfort her the way he really wants to, because he knows his eyes are here, they don’t leave her, always watching from the corner, staking claim. 

"Thanks Havoc,” she says, trying for warm but still sounding miserable, lacing her fingers with his for a brief second in appreciation of his effort to make her feel better.

He sighs. “Would you mind if I went outside for a smoke?” They didn’t allow smoking in the ballroom, and his cravings had kicked in three drinks ago. 

“Sure,” she says, “I’ll come with you." 

He looks surprised because the Lieutenant has never approved of his smoking, but he thinks maybe she would prefer it to her own company tonight. 

But when she tries to stand it’s like the blood has drained from her head, and she falters. Gingerly, she rubs a hand to her forehead.

"On second thought, I think I’ll stay here.” She gets back onto her seat, “I’ve had too much to drink." 

"Will you be alright?” He asks, and it is more out of courtesy than anything else because he knows that if she isn’t, he will be by her side in seconds to take care of her. 

She assures him she’s fine, that a drink of water will make everything better, even though fine is far from what she feels. Having let out her feelings, she doesn’t feel the light headedness that most claim, just empty and dejected because it is more than just never being told she’s pretty or going out on dates. If only her sorrows were as commonplace as wishing for love. If only she didn’t desire a very specific love. A love she will never have. 

“Excuse me,” she mumbles to the waiter,“ could I have a glass of water please?" 

He hurries away to get it and she rests her head against the counter. As she closes her eyes, she wonders how they do it, all those women he talks to, all the willing females he engages with. Is it all the giggling? 

Does Roy like it if his women show a lot of skin? She remembers the woman from earlier, pale pink fabric shimmering off her dainty frame. Or maybe he likes the petite ones. 

She sighs dejectedly. At 5'5”, she had curves that filled out every inch of her uniform and a full chest that had been a major cause of discomfort during military school. She was anything but petite. 

In the end what bothers her most is that it probably doesn’t matter if she isn’t skinny or she doesn’t wear clothes that dip to the small of her back. Military rules state they couldn’t be together and it seems Roy wasn’t the least bit tempted to break them. 

.. 

“I’m afraid all the dancing has made my head spin,” he tells her. “It was really lovely to have the pleasure of your company…” He pauses at the end, awkward because he just spent the last 40 minutes dancing her in circles but he can’t, for the love of God, remember her name. 

“It’s Elizabeth,” she purrs, laughing, “You’re just like the rumours say, Colonel! So terrible with names." 

She comes closer, her breath damp on the shell of his ear, "And so incredibly handsome." 

"I’m flattered,” he says, untangling himself from her, smiling the way he knows is probably misleading, but in this situation it’s polite. 

He can’t quite explain it but he is struck by this inexplicable urge to see his own Elizabeth, a sharp contrast to this one’s dark hair and light eyes, her beauty stemming from self-respect that is sorely lacking in most of the women that threw themselves at him.

He can’t pretend that he’s a saint and that there haven’t been a few that have followed him into bed, but there is nothing more than frustration at play here, a compromise of sorts where he can make believe that the girl in front of him is one with pale hair that shimmers and eyes that would always show him the light. 

Where he can dream that the lips he kisses are the same bow shaped ones that admonish him at work.  

Looking over at the bar counter, he sees that she’s still there, this time with Havoc nowhere to be seen. There’s a small, selfish part of him that rejoices in this fact, because their intimacy and hand-holding had him seeing red a little while ago. 

It isn’t fair that he wants her like this, so irrationally and so selfishly, he knows it, but he can’t stop himself from this desire and he knows it often scares men away from her.

He knows there have been times when he has deliberately scared men off of her. He wonders how she would react if she learns of it. Would she have preferred their affections?

When he comes closer he sees that her head is resting on the counter, eyes closed. “Lieutenant,” he calls, but she doesn’t stir. Roy is known to be a little paranoid when it comes to his aide and the tension creeps onto his face, furrowing it’s way between his eyebrows. 

He tries calling her again, this time placing his hand on her shoulder and shaking her gently. Her head turns to the side and he can see that her mouth is parted slightly and her breaths are even. 

Has she… Passed out?! Laughing to himself, he occupies the seat beside her, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes and tucks it behind her ear. He could happily stay like this forever, wrapped up in the softness of her hair and skin, watching her without interruption as she sleeps. There’s a mole just under her ear, a tiny black little thing and he wonders if he could reach down and kiss it. It would be quick, no one would ever know it. 

He could press his lips to her skin, touch his tongue to her earlobe, take it between his teeth maybe, the way he’s always wanted to when they are alone in his office and he is tempted to misuse his rank. 

He gives in to this sweet compulsion and bends down, lips pressing ever so lightly against the mark. 

She smells sweet, of the lavender she’s been partial to ever since she was a teenager, wrapped in this very same fragrance when she would finish her shower. 

Roy knows this because every time she would be anywhere nearby his attention as an apprentice would falter, often earning him rebukes from her father. 

He had promised himself just one, but it’s a promise ill-kept because his lips inch further along her jawline, featherlight brushes of temptation going against everything he has worked for. 

But what good is his ambition when all it brings him is turmoil, and this cruel deprivation of her? When all he feels every day when he looks at her is longing, immense and painful, to the point of desperation. 

Reason loses it’s shine further when he can feel her pulse flutter, and the softest murmur of his name brushes his ear. 

“Roy,” she mumbles and it’s so maddening, the effect his name on her lips has, he considers giving her orders to never address him Colonel ever again, “I wore green. Just like you told me to.”

His eyes widen, remembering the day he’d asked her to accompany him. She had this look in her eyes, disappointment, frustration - or was it disgust - and he dared to hope she’d go with it anyway, but she didn’t. And the feeling of rejection, of being rejected by Riza, isn’t one he can shake so easily. 

“What?” She had asked confused, when the statement he hadn’t intended to say out loud - he liked her in green, and that was something he kept secret, it brought out her eyes - had clearly been heard. “It suits you,” he’d said simply, and her temper had flared. Narrowing her eyes, she had said, “What I choose to wear is none of your business, Sir." 

She’d emphasized the last word with as much sarcasm as one could possibly fit into one syllable. 

He had laughed that day… a frustrated laugh, but now seeing that she actually listened to him, he thinks maybe what he thought mattered much more than what she let on. 

"I even wore heels,” she whispers, still drunk, slurring the s’s. 

“You did,” he says slowly, because he noticed, just like he notices everything, the way it made her legs look endless, the way it made her hips sway when she walked in with Havoc. He runs an idle finger across her cheek. 

“Do I look pretty, Colonel?" 

When she speaks these words, he hears the uncertainty behind the pink lips that she licks, barely inches from his. 

He could tell her that yes, she’s pretty, but he’d rather show her. With kisses sweeping all over her body, and caresses earning soft sighs from her full mouth. 

He could. 

And he almost does. 

He almost kisses her, full on the mouth, tongue flicking across hers, telling her that pretty is an understatement and that the first time he saw her, he was already mesmerised. 

But he is mindful of their surroundings, not wanting to cause her any further disrespect by acting out the increasingly lewd fantasies churning in his mind. Because he doubts a kiss would stay just that, a kiss and nothing more, not when it is Riza underneath him, lips pliant and sweet, testing his restraint. 

"Havoc,” he says harshly when he comes to realise the looming figure behind him, keeping his distance but well within hearing radius. “Take her home." 

He’s surprised at first, because he was sure he had witnessed something deeper, more intimate between those two tonight. Havoc had seen the Colonel flush, and stroke her skin tenderly, the Lieutenant’s eyes dazed and gazing at him with blatant desire. 

"Sir, sh-shouldn’t you?” He stutters, clearly asking something inappropriate and out of turn but he can’t help it. There is no one in the entire hall who could have missed the palpable chemistry between the two of them. 

But he doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head, his eyes dark and stormy, and tells him to make sure she has a glass of water before she’s put to bed. 

When Havoc walks her out, one hand around her waist and the other firmly holding her arm around his shoulder he realises that he’s a bit irritated with this years-old game of hide-and-seek. His broken heart was urging him to slap some sense into the Colonel and yell, because people who’ve found love - the real kind - have no business denying it. 

“I think it should be fairly clear by now why you so rarely get propositioned by men,” he says dryly. 

She makes a noise, questioning, barely able to take in his sarcasm or even his words for that matter, as her eyes droop shut. 

He takes in the rare sight of a defenseless Hawkeye clinging to his arm and his mouth turns up with the hint of a smile. 

“… It isn’t that no one’s interested,” he whispers, “just that everybody knows they wouldn’t stand a chance. Not against him.” 

- fin - 

[businesstiramisu]

So while clearing out my drafts this morning I found this “things I know about anime” bit that I wrote up just about a year ago, right before I actually started watching a fair amount of anime (thanks #lockdownime!)

When people were posting for the new year/reflecting on the Year of Quarantine I was thinking mine would be “Year in Review: mostly anime” b/c I didn’t do much else last year, so now this is the first half of that. I, for one, am pretty amused by this and how my impressions have changed since I’ve watched (and/or read a lot of discussions of) most of them now. I also want to write up a response/current opinions on anime to contrast but that will take a while.

So, as of February 2020--

Secondhand opinions on anime (from hanging out with weebs for nearly two decades and then spending way too much time on tumblr for the last year or so):

Pre-tumblr animes:

Pokemon: THIS was actually my first anime, but I always forget it’s an anime since I learned about it from the card game and seeing it on American cartoon channels. We didn’t have TV growing up so I didn’t actually see much of it.

Naruto – like I said in the other post, I've known about it forever and I thought I knew the rough plot until I started seeing fanart and discussions on tumblr. There sure are a lot of characters, and I have no idea how any of them fit into it beside the main trio and their teacher.

Yugioh – this was the anime we were too embarrassed to watch in middle school. Actually it might be more than one anime? Idk, seems to have died like bleach.

Bleach – this isn’t Death Note, but not too sure what it actually is. Ghosts maybe? Apparently super passe, except for the opening song I never see anything about it online anymore.

FMA – if I ever actually get around to watching things this is the one I’ll watch this first. Also see a fair amount of discussion of it on tumblr too, great memes.

Ace Attorney – first heard of it in middle school, I only see it on tumblr for ridiculous memes, but good staying power there I guess.

Detective Conan – my weeb best friend really liked this is early high school. I still see it around on AO3 in recommendations and stuff but don’t know enough about it to read and/or haven’t gotten hooked by a fic to go learn about it.

Attack on Titan – was really big among my weeb friends in college but I never see anything about it anymore. They actually got me to watch an episode or two but it was too gory for me.

[Note from 2021: This is missing Death Note and Chobits and I’m not sure why. Studio Ghibli is another major oversight, perhaps 1-year-ago-me considered that distinct from anime? Hmm]

Tumblr animes:

BNHA – I actually know the plot and characters pretty thorough b/c YUTS, but even before I started reading fanfiction I kinda knew the characters either because they’re very distinctive designs or because (my corner of?) tumblr was obsessed with this show last fall.

PMMM – this third most common anime on my dash, because rat-adj people love it I guess? I think I know the plot pretty well, but don’t see much fanart and only know the two main characters and the evil cat spirit.

WAIT I MIGHT BE CONFLATING PMMMM and NGE, uhhh woops

Gintama – I’ve never seen this show, don’t know anything about it, but tumblr radar has decided I’m a fan and keeps suggesting that I follow fan blogs for it?!

Demon Slayer – also see a lot of fanart for this, the four main characters are pretty distinctive.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure – next level memes here! (I don’t actually know the plot or characters but I think it’s set in “Italy”?)

Mob Psycho – lot’s of fanfic but don’t see much fanart/discussion on tumblr

Gundam – I’ll be honest I can’t actually distinguish between the different gundam animes. One of the [***left finished, no idea what I was going to write here]

[Note from 2021 -- I saw One Punch Man in 2019, I think on Tumblr’s recommendation, and loved it, but forgot to include it here. I might be forgetting a few more but anilist is down right now so I can’t check]