#i also have dance practice bc auditions are next week

[looosey]

Lucy's DDR #1: I Love Dance

My parents and friends think I love to dance. They know without me saying it. In fact, a conversation I had with two NH Medlinks (i.e. my Desmond friend and his H4 friend) went like this:

H4 friend: Oh how do you know (NH4 girl 1) and (NH4 girl 2)? Do you dance? My friend: Does she dance? All she does is dance. H4 friend: Oh cool! Are you in ADT?

Which I found very fonny. No I am not. But alas, for the past two years till now, I have always been dancing, and I really really enjoy it, and I want to get better, and I think I do really love it!

But sometimes, it's hard to love it.

Today I want to talk about a big thing I see in dancers at MIT around me, which is that they have a very stressful relationship with dance. "I might quit all dance next semester," and "The MIT dance community is so toxic," and "I don't know if I want to do <xyz advanced team> next semester or just quit" are phrases I hear often from friends who always end up dancing anywhere from 3-9 hours a week.

They love it, but they hate it. The feelings are so extreme, I think, because dance is a social activity. You make friends, close friends, through dance troupe, ADT, or teams. But with dance, you're also auditioning, getting evaluated and cut, watching yourself side by side with others, being recorded, being talked about, and talking about others. It's a social activity.

And if you start thinking about how good your other peers are compared to you, the deep deep blackhole of dance-is-the-devil is slippery and treacherous. Despite them coming in with more experience, or putting in more hours than you at the expense of grades, sleep, or social life, or having been an athlete before, etc. All of my fellow friends who started dance in college, we've talked about this shared anxiety, but yet. We're all still dancing.

Dance. Dance. Four total semesters now. Why?

My favorite semester ever dance-wise was sophomore fall. Coming back from Korea, where I took a class a week at the famous 1Million and JustJerk dance studios, I was made pretty well aware that MIT was just a spec in the dance world. Thus, I was on my own journey to enjoy the art form and become professional grade good, whether or not MIT's competitive teams wanted me as a dancer did not matter. So, in September, I joined MissBehavior, did a DT dance, and took an MIT Theater dept. class in Hip Hop Dance History and Practice.

McKersin, the lecturer, taught us the history, shared the culture, opened my eyes to the Boston scene. He became the first person ever to tell me... "you need to practice" in an objective but well-meaning way. Previously, choreo workshops and Dance Troupe were fun and good to me, but in the vacuum of no-feedback-ever, I remained convinced that I was great at dancing, and thus was so confused all the time when I got rejected from competitive auditions. Now I was beginning to know.

I practiced freestyle dance and learned choreo from videos on my own, late into the night at BC dance studio. Recording myself, and gritting my teeth as I watched my own recordings. Yuck. Dumpster trash on fire, the stench coming from those videos.

But the way my dance progress became my own? So valuable to me. Thus, I improved.

I'm on a team now, and slightly deeper in the "dance as a social activity" thing both in MIT and the Boston community. Many times, I also struggle. I think I suck, look at that guy who probably only started this year he's so much cleaner than me. And that puts me in the worst bottom of the barrel mood for an entire day. Literally, makes me feel physical pain. But I never hate on dance. It's usually myself that I hate, which is not any better.

I write this on a special day: my first day ever being picked by a choreog in a workshop. You know? As the first subgroup to record? It means you're good. It was an affirmation that I'm doing okay, after a recent wave of self-hatred, actually. Even if I don't hate dance, I struggle a lot with comparing myself, and thinking I'm actually trash and not getting better, which is the root of my friends' problems too. I'm trynna overcome this and share a positive view of dance, like the energy of today's choreographer: it's fun to do and it's safe here.

This post is a reminder to future Lucy that actually, this journey has been one of great memories and progress. So, don't hate yourself, or the art. Be kind to yourself and others. Dance. Dance. Revolution.

[adoretu]

don’t rb//

[taelme]

Enemies-to-lovers!Changbin

request: Hiiiii I read you bangchan enemies to lovers au and I swear if I could like a post more than once I'd like that one a MILLION TIMES I'm wondering if maybe you could write an enemies to lovers au for changbin pretty please? 🥺🥰 genre: enemies-to-lovers!au (again, not Super extreme, low-key clash bc they’re both stubborn), film club president!Changbin, childhood penpal!au (fluff, very mild angst, they bicker a lot, kind of cheesy bc changbin’s a sap and we know that) pairing/s: Changbin / Reader (ft some skz members)  word count: 17k+ tw: mild coarse language (they say shit a lot LOL)  a/n: THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS...IM PRETTY SURE you waited months for this so thank you for being so so so patient!! I decided to try something a little different from my usual style but idk if it’s That Obvious, but its more structure wise I guess, but nonetheless, I'll be getting a little busier soon so I’m not sure If I'll be able to put out Full one shots for the next few months but I'll try my best w those little shorter ones maybe! (I'll have to see how Tired I am) also p.s I love this gif thank u to whoever made it but changbin is blonde in this fic bc of Personal Reasons 

To: my penpal Y/N

How are you?

I had a good day today. Sorry if the paper is crunchy I am writing this on my bed because my mom thinks I am already asleep. Today I went out with my mom and we went to the park and ate some sandwiches at the park. We had a picnic but with no juice because my sister finished everything. And then we went to the toy shop after lunch. I saw a keychain of a camera and bought it for you because you like acting and cameras can take a video of you acting.

This is a picture of me next to the wishing well at the park, you cannot see it but i’m making a peace sign. I threw a coin in the well and made a wish that your audition will be good. I know you will do very well because you practiced a lot for it. That’s all. I’m a bit tired now. Goodnight, or good morning if you are reading this in the morning. Or afternoon.

I hope i’ll be hearing from you soon, Binnie.  

“So, do you wanna keep them? If not I can chuck them together with the rest of your old things,” your mom began, already reaching over to take the letter from you.

Your eyes widened just as quickly, shaking your head quickly as you gripped the envelope and its contents behind your back away from her reach.

“No, no. Don’t throw them away,” you said sternly, softening your gaze when you noticed the way her eyebrows had raised in amusement, embarrassment washing over your features.

“I’ll keep them. Gimme the box.”

Your mom set the beaten looking converse shoebox down onto the table, shaking her head at you as a small chuckle escaped her. Mental note to transfer the letters to a smaller (and more durable) box. 

“Alright, alright,” she waved her hands at you in dismissal, “hurry up or you’ll be late for school.”

She shut the door behind her with a light thud, leaving you to stare at the grainy polaroid your childhood penpal had sent you when you both were only eight and still exchanging letters every week.

Inhaling deeply, you shoved the polaroid picture back into the envelope, slipping it into the box of envelopes before getting up. You figured that was a box you wouldn’t have the time to delve into when you were already keeping Jisung waiting.

Driving as fast as you could (or as fast as you dared to) within the speed limit, you’d reached your campus soon enough. It wasn’t that long of a drive and it would be even shorter (walking distance to be specific), when you move into your apartment nearer to campus in a few days. But that didn’t change the fact that you were running late now, spotting Jisung standing by the fountain with a sour look on his face that had only deepened once he’d spotted you.

Before an utterance of apology could leave you, Jisung had pursed his lips, stretching out his hand that held your cup of drink, a small hint of a smile playing at his lips.

“I’m starting to wonder which one of us has worse time management,” he sighed deeply, shaking his head with feigned disappointment as he glanced at his nonexistent watch on his wrist.

Jisung was one to talk, for sure. His crumpled looking shirt over baggy cargo pants and a hat to cover his head of messy hair told you his journey to school wasn’t exactly ‘leisurely’ either.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste, “it’s definitely you. I was only late today ‘cause my mom was showing me my old stuff she found in the storeroom.”

Jisung waved you off, “fine, whatever,” he fished his phone out of his pocket as you started walking towards the auditorium for a class you were both dreading.

“Oh, shit, Hyunjin says the professor’s already in class, we should hurry up.”

Quickening your pace, you were glad to have reached before your professor had started, Jisung directing you towards where Hyunjin was seated at the side of the auditorium, giving him a small nod as you sat down.

Not that Hyunjin noticed anyway, the said boy busy with messaging someone on his phone with a frown on his face.

“What are you doing?”

Jisung peered over Hyunjin’s shoulder, frankly not wanting to focus on the lesson as the professor played a video on boring business things he figured he could just ask you for later.

Hyunjin sighed, setting his phone down onto the table and pushing his laptop open further, going to his email with quick clicks on his trackpad, “gotta send the scene for the auditions later to Changbin.”

“Oh, for that film thing?” Jisung asked, earning a nod from Hyunjin, whose eyebrows furrowed as they remembered your presence.

“Y/N should audition,” Hyunjin nodded his head towards you, his mention of your name distracting you momentarily, but you’d brushed it off quickly as you tried to take down whatever your professor was rambling on about.

At your lack of response, Jisung nudged your shoulder with more force, “hey, did you hear what Hyunjin said?”

You tore your gaze reluctantly from your professor as your fingers finished typing whatever you had left in your memory, the confused look on your face prompting Hyunjin to take over.

“We’re having auditions later for the movie the film club’s gonna be making,” he started, nodding slowly as his eyebrows raised, “I was saying you should join, you’d be good for the role.”

You narrowed your eyes at Hyunjin, “what’s it about?”

Jisung huffed, “some cheesy penpal shit, the last I heard.”

Your quirked an eyebrow at that, Hyunjin rolling his eyes.

“Something like that, but it’s not super romantic. They’re childhood penpals who meet again in the future but they don’t end up together, I don’t know how to explain it to you as well as Changbin can, but will you come anyway?”

You scrunch your nose as you consider his offer.

Was there anything you needed to prepare? You didn’t even know exactly what you were signing up for. Or much less anyone in the film club. Well, other than Hyunjin, of course.  

“Is there any script I'm supposed to prepare with?” you asked, making Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise, his lips parting in realisation.

“I’m pretty sure it depends on what role you want…” he trailed off, making you scoff.

Not being able to help the laugh from escaping you, you narrowed your eyes at him, “you sound like you’re not even in the club.”

Hyunjin flashed you a sweet smile, “you know what? I’ll just send you what I sent Changbin. You can just prepare with that! Penny’s role!”

Jisung snorted, his hand coming up in a poor attempt to stifle his giggles.

“Penny? Is it because...she’s a pen pal?”

You pressed your lips into a firm line, finding it awfully amusing as well.

Hyunjin frowned, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “we couldn’t think of anything better, okay?”

You huffed, lower lip jutting out in a small pensive pout. You didn’t have much going on in terms of school productions as of now, anyway, you guessed there would be no harm in showing some support for Hyunjin.

“What time are the auditions?”

“They start from lunchtime until like five,” Hyunjin tried his best to recall, looking at you with his best pleading gaze.

Sighing again, you nodded, “this is my only class for today.”

Hyunjin was practically beaming now.

“Perfect.”

===

“I don’t like it.”

Hyunjin sputtered over his sip of coffee, an incredulous expression on his face, attracting looks from the other film club members in the dance studio. Excusing himself, he’d made his way outside, oblivious to the squeals and stares the girls waiting to audition were directing towards him, settling himself in the middle of the field outside the dance studio.  

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t like it’?” he asked you again, his eyebrows furrowed as curiosity took over him.

You sighed, rolling your shoulders back as you nodded at one of your teachers you were walking past, your grip relaxing on your phone as your arm had started to get tired.

“I mean, I read through the script, and something about Penny’s character just doesn’t sit right with me,” you told him, “it just… doesn’t make sense for her to come to that conclusion when she’d been having a perfectly good time with the guy before that, you know?”

Pausing, you’d waited for him to respond, his silence prompting you to continue with your elaboration.

“Okay, I’ll put it this way,” you started, adjusting your grip on your laptop in your arm, “If I were a reader, or like, a viewer in this case, I would wanna be able to pick up on these small moments or signs that Penny is actually thinking about her relationship, do you know what I mean? Because now the way it looks is that she’s just a plot device meant to hurt him, and that there’s no exploration of the development of their relationship at all.”

Hyunjin let out a deep sigh, “Okay, I know, I know, but the thing is… this was Changbin’s idea, and I don’t know if you’ve heard—I mean, you probably have, but… nobody really questions him.”

You hummed, following Hyunjin into the school building and tugging your coat tighter around yourself, the cold air in the building shocking you as you entered.

“Yeah, I get that, but you’re forgetting that I don’t have the same relationship with this Changbin guy that you guys do. I don’t mind telling him that I have a problem with it. I don’t wanna be acting out some two-dimensional love interest character if I can help it.”

Hyunjin grimaced, not seeming to be too keen on your insistence, “I really think it might be a little late for him to change the script.”

“It’s never too late.”

“Well to Changbin it could be!” Hyunjin insisted, making you roll your eyes, a small chuckle leaving you.

You huffed, “I still think the audience deserves a better film with better crafted characters.”

Hyunjin let out a sound in between a sigh and a groan, “Okay fine, you just have to make sure you get the role, and then you’re free to argue with Changbin all you want. Deal?”

“Deal,” You turned the corner and spotted Hyunjin standing in the middle of the field, already making his way back to the dance studio.

“Okay,” he spoke before you could end the call, “I gotta go, see you later.”

You didn’t expect there to be so many people at the auditions, mostly girls and just a handful of guys. Though you seemed to piece the uneven ratio together when you saw the not-so-furtive stares the girls would cast in Hyunjin’s direction whenever he’d peek his head out from the crack in the door to call the next person in.

You recognized one of the guys who’d come in later than you, one of Jisung’s upperclassmen friends whose name was Minho.

“Didn’t think i’d see you here,” he gave you a small smile as he took a seat next to you.

Shrugging in response, you let out an awkward huff of laughter, not used to talking to him about anything other than his cats and Jisung’s whereabouts.

“Yeah… well, Hyunjin asked me to come, so I figured I might as well,” you fiddled with the slip of paper with the scene printed on it, “not like I had anything better to do, anyway.”

Minho nodded slowly, leaning closer to you and dropping his voice to a murmur, “I’ve never seen any of these girls before.”

You huffed, “I’m pretty sure most of them are here for Hyunjin.”

“Oh yeah, makes sense,” Minho hummed, a small lilt of amusement to his tone, “where is he, anyway? He told me he would be here—”

Minho’s question was answered when the girls beside the both of you had erupted into harsh whispers and murmurs, tapping each other excitedly as Hyunjin could be seen through the window panel in the door, looking on seriously as one of the girls inside the room was auditioning.

You huffed, gesturing to the window.

“Found him.”

Inside the room, Changbin was distracted.

He knew he had a certain image in his head about what he wanted ‘Penny’ to be. But whatever the girls that had auditioned so far had been showing, that dramatic ‘i never loved you!’ emotion, that wasn’t exactly it. And it didn’t help either that they struggled letting go of the dramatics when Chan would prompt them to try a different angle.

Hyunjin cast a (mildly concerned) look at Changbin, trying to gauge his expression, figuring the pointed look Changbin had sent his way was enough to say he didn’t think this girl would be shortlisted.

“Who’s next?” Chan leaned over in his seat to peek at the clipboard of names of signups, Changbin leaning back in his seat and pushing the clipboard towards him, not finding it in him to be able to be more hopeful about the next person.

“Oh, Y/N,” Chan hummed, nodding with an impressed expression on his face, the name catching Changbin’s attention, “that’s cool, didn’t think they’d audition.”

“Y/N?” Changbin echoed, something about the name awfully familiar to him, yet not being able to make the connection in his memories yet.

So for now, he’d simply gestured to Hyunjin to signal that he could send the next girl in, Chan sweetly thanking the girl that had just auditioned as she left the room.

Making your way into the room, you scanned the ‘panel’ of judges.

You recognized Chan, the said pale-faced boy looking even more tired when he’d yawned as you made your way to the centre of the room. He came to your school productions often since he and Felix were friends, and Felix was always involved in some way or another. The other boy, though, you didn’t think you’d seen before.

The two of them seemed to exude completely different auras, with Chan smiling warmly at you and gesturing for you to come closer while the other boy sat with his arms folded across his chest, frowning at you as though you were a code to decipher.

“Hey, didn’t expect to see you here,” Chan broke the silence first, giggling.

You shook your head, “honestly didn’t think i’d sign-up either.”

You pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile, rocking back on your heels as you glanced at the boy next to him again, “I actually only heard about it from Hyunjin this morning,” you admitted, Hyunjin flashing Chan a grin from behind you as if to say ‘you’re welcome’.

Changbin cleared his throat, making Chan perk up.

“Right, sorry. So, we’ve obviously met but this is our club’s president Changbin,” he gestured to the boy sitting next to him.

Changbin nodded curtly, bringing his hand up to run it through his bleached hair and shoving his cap back on his head with habitual movements.

Now you were starting to understand why Hyunjin was so intimidated by Changbin, always having heard stories about him but only now being able to put a face to the name.

Nodding slowly, you gave him a smile, “nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

Changbin had to stop himself from faltering, his breath hitching when he realised why your name was so familiar.

After all, it had been the first candidate before they’d decided to go with ‘penny’. He wondered how cruel fate was to have brought you, someone with the same name as the person he’d practically based this story on, to be auditioning for the very role.

You tried not to be offended by the way Changbin had simply nodded at you, straightening up in his seat, “and you’ll be auditioning for the role of…?”

Would it hurt him to smile?

You inhaled deeply, trying to hide your amusement as you answered him, “Penny.”

Changbin nodded, Chan humming as he looked up from his copy of the script to give you another reassuring smile.

“Alright, whenever you’re ready. I’ll be taking the lines of the male lead,” Chan told you.

You understood that the scene was some sort of scene where the two romantic leads have some sort of confrontation, and you did your best to get into what you imagined Penny would be feeling, Chan reading the line asking if ‘penny’ had even loved him at all. Dramatic was the word to describe it, really.  

You softened your gaze, unintentionally letting it rest on Changbin but deciding to let it stay there, executing your lines all the while trying to ignore the way Changbin’s stare was unnerving you, making you want to prove to him that you were a good actor even though he hadn’t questioned your acting skills.

Hyunjin had been watching the exchange closely, Changbin’s grip on his pencil loosening as he’d let the pencil fall softly against the table.

Changbin wondered if it was some sort of coincidence, because whatever ‘it’ was that he’d been looking for in Penny’s character, you’d managed to convey almost perfectly.

And it was clear that Chan had felt the same way as well, since once your audition was over, the smile on Chan’s face was nothing but beaming.

Once you’d left the room, Hyunjin telling you that they would contact you by the next morning, Chan had turned to Changbin, the same stupid smile on his face.

“That was great!” he nudged Changbin, the younger boy still recovering from the shock of the coincidence of it all, managing to muster a small huff in response.

“Yeah,” Changbin reached over to grab his water bottle, prolonging his silence as he took a long sip, “I don’t think we’d even need to see the rest.”

Chris scrunched his nose up, grinning, “but you know we still will, of course. Just in case.”

Changbin sighed, glancing at the clock, agreeing with Chan even though he knew he’d already had his mind made up.

“Yeah, just in case,” Changbin mumbled, looking out the window and seeing you talk to Minho, tearing his gaze away and rolling his shoulders back.

“Okay, send the next one in.”

===

To: Binnie

How are you?

I’m okay. I like the picture you sent me of you using your scooter. My mom says you look nice. I think so too.

Today I went to the museum and I ate an ice cream for lunch. I don’t have a picture of it but it was a Strawberry ice cream.

I just finished reading your letter. Sorry to say it using a bad word, but i think what your sister did was stupid. I think you should still tell her to ask for permission to use your scooter. But if she still does not listen, maybe you should tell her again. Because my mom always tells me that if I want something, I have to ask for it. So you should do that. Maybe she does not know you don’t like it when she plays with your scooter. Or, you could buy a new scooter. Here is some money so you can buy a scooter. I drew you $50 because that is a lot of money. I hope you have a good day when you read this.

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.

You weren’t the world’s kindest human alive, you had your petty moments. I mean, there were so many songs and literature and movies that highlighted that idea that no human was perfect, right? But you tried your best, surely.

So, you’d gladly complied when Hyunjin asked you to grab extra cups of coffee for Chan and Changbin (as reluctant as you were. You were strapped for cash as it was).

You figured that was the least you could do before the trouble you were about to cause the both of them. But hopefully, if office etiquette was anything to go by, the simple gesture would show that you were kind, and someone who appreciated the offer given to you, as much as you hated the superficiality of your character.

However, when you showed up at the room, you were reminded that Changbin wasn’t just anyone. And while Chan made his appreciation known, Changbin… was the same as ever. Intimidating, and very hard to read. The sight of it almost made you want to take back his coffee.

He wasn’t wearing a hat today. Instead, he’d let his blonde hair (which looked darker since the last time you saw him, or maybe it was just his dyed-black undercut) fall messily over his forehead in a slight side part.

His black shirt did nothing to hide his physique, every movement of his coming across as a subtle flex, making you have to remind yourself time and time again that you weren’t exactly here to fawn over him.

He would lean back in his seat, scrolling through whatever he was looking at in his phone with one hand, his other hand draped over his stomach and propped underneath his elbow to support it. The way he would look made it seem as if he was almost oblivious to the world around him, only paying attention to what was on his phone until he would laugh at something Chan said, Chan being the only person you’ve seen that managed to elicit seemingly uncharacteristic giggles from him.

Though it wasn’t as if you were given much time to get used to it. The moment Chan had murmured something in his ear, his expression had switched back to ‘strictly business’.

Chan straightened up, looking around the room with his eyebrows slightly raised in question, one hand adjusting the braided leather bracelet around his wrist

“So, shall we get started then?” Chan asked, gesturing to Changbin before typing away at his laptop.

Changbin took his cue, getting up from his seat and making his way around the table to the front of the room, pulling the overhanging screen up to reveal the whiteboard.

“So, first of all, we’ve finalised the actors playing the characters,” he gestured towards you and Minho, “Minho as Soobin and Y/N as Penny. So, we can start shooting about next week. I would say we’re working with a pretty loose deadline because we don’t have to submit it until a few months from now.”

Changbin rolled his shoulders back, his body language seeming fairly relaxed although his expression remained serious nonetheless, “but that doesn’t mean we should slack, obviously.”

His statement elicited a small groan from Hyunjin, who muttered a ‘figures’ under his breath, making you stifle your giggles for Changbin’s sake.

“But we will start with maybe going over the script once through, go over the technical stuff after we get any issues with the flow out of the way.”

He looked as though he were going through a mental list of things to cover, his gaze flickering momentarily to Hyunjin, as if his face would give him answers to the invisible question in his head.

“The people in charge of the props, have you started preparing the letters?” Chan stepped in, earning a shake of the head from the two girls sitting next to Hyunjin, making Changbin wave a hand dismissively in their direction.

“They could start on that after we confirm the script,” Changbin leaned over the table to grab his cup of coffee, proceeding to take a long sip from it.

“Alright, let’s start then.”

Changbin took the empty seat he was standing next to, pulling his laptop closer to him to pull up the script.

Throughout the reading, you tried to keep your comments to yourself, you really did. It just fascinated you how fearful the team was of Changbin (well, aside from Chan), the way everyone seemed to bite their tongues or withhold their comments caused a permanent frown to be etched on your face.

It didn’t make it any better that Minho seemed to have no problems with the script, not even when you’d occasionally leant over to whisper to him and ask if he found that part a little weird or a little abrupt. But you held your tongue for now, (and also because of the side glance Hyunjin would cast your way whenever you would let out a small sigh),  you wanted to give Changbin the benefit of the doubt, figuring maybe if he read through his script again he’d realise how one-sided it was.

But thankfully, when you were reading out the lines where the two main characters had ended their date, and on a particularly high note for that matter, it seemed the opportunity to voice your concerns about the script was presented to you when Changbin had spoken up.

“Okay, since the next scene onwards will be where their relationship breaks down, any questions so far?” He asked, though his tone didn’t sound like he was really asking for feedback. But, hey, an opportunity as an opportunity, wasn’t it?

You cleared your throat a little too harshly, raising up your hand as you leaned against the table to be seen better, “uh, actually, me? I mean, I have some feedback actually.”

Changbin looked at you curiously, his gaze landing on you with slight surprise, as if he hadn’t expected it to be you of all people. There was a slight hesitancy evident in the way he paused before giving you a short nod, prompting you to go ahead.

You smiled, ignoring the way Hyunjin had sighed deeply a few seats away from you, dreading the chaos that could have come with people like you and Changbin bumping heads.

“Well, it’s not really specific to this scene. It’s kind of about the whole flow of the plot in general…” you fiddled with the corner of the page you were on, “but I was thinking it would be better to show more of Penny’s point of view? You know, because when I was reading it it just felt a little… weird for them to suddenly break up if everything seemed to be going fine.”

Changbin narrowed his eyes at you, looking back down at his computer with a simple dismissive shake of the head, “That’s not necessary, they’re going to break up anyway.”

The room had fallen silent, everybody seeming to have taken that as a ‘end of the conversation’ kind of line, already beginning to bring their attention to the next scene.

You frowned, unable to control your expression as you made your dismay obvious, casting a desperate look to Hyunjin who honestly looked as though he would pay you not to pursue this.

“But that’s not the point,” you spoke, getting Chan’s attention as he looked at you, silently urging you to continue, “you wanted to show their relationship, right? So, shouldn’t you show… both their parts in the relationship? Since it’s not like this is told in Soobin’s point of view.”

Changbin pursed his lips, “the point is,” he brought his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing, “their relationship was superficial so it doesn’t matter.”

You mirrored his expression. The way it sounded was that he was just trying to convince himself that it didn’t matter.

Your frown deepened, quick to respond to him.

“That’s the thing, if you’re so insistent on them breaking up, why don’t you just make their relationship lead up to that? The way they’re interacting up to this scene makes viewers think they’re just going to end up together,” you tried to reason, hoping Changbin would understand where you were coming from.

Minho took that opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom, and as you gave the rest of the film club members a once-over, you hated the way they were all looking at you as if you were cussing Changbin out instead of just giving him constructive feedback, or just voicing your thoughts for that matter.

“Well, not everyone gets a happy ending, I guess.”

He was practically avoiding your message at this point, making you grow more frustrated.

“Okay, look, what’s your intention behind making this film?” you asked, watching carefully as Changbin huffed, looking fairly amused at your insistence, which only served to irk you more.

“Simple,” he shrugged, “to show people like you that not everything that seems so perfect ends up perfect in the end.”

Your lips parted, scoffing, resisting the urge to get up from your seat as you heard Minho re-enter the room.

“People like me?” you echoed spitefully, “okay, fine, whatever. But as you said, if that’s the point of your discourse, shouldn’t your message be to tell people that they can work through things like this instead of just giving up and leaving like Penny did?”

Changbin was annoyed now. To him, you seemed too idealistic to understand his reasoning behind the story. He wondered why it had to be you that was telling him this, you were the only one that was trying to find problems with his story, that he’d based on his own life for that matter.

“Well what if she did, huh? What if Penny did just up and leave with no warning?”

You rolled your eyes, hearing Chan struggle to stifle his laugh, your exchange with Changbin being just about the most excitement he had in the whole school year.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “which is why I'm saying that your job as a storyteller is to shed some light on the reason behind that. Then your story wouldn’t be about showing how things don’t turn out the way they seem, it would just be telling you, but not showing you. You could just ask literally anybody to hurt Minho—”

“Soobin,” you heard Minho correct from beside you, making you huff, scrunching your eyes shut tightly before opening them harshly.

“—Yes, Soobin’s character, and it would be the same? The story wouldn’t show me anything other than the fact that it was Soobin’s fault he ended up that way. He didn’t question anything that happened, he just let it happen to him,” you sighed again, clenching your jaw, “Penny isn’t anything other than some 2-dimensional plot device designed as an excuse for Soobin to sulk about how cruel love is.”

Changbin scrunched his nose up, his brows knitting in annoyance as he stared at you, a silence falling again in the room. Changbin was about to interject when Chan had decided that would be a good time to step in.

“C’mon guys, let’s… calm down a little. We’re talking about penpals here, not the king’s lover betraying him.”

You cast Chan a questioning look at his example, making him shrug, continuing, “we’re running a little overtime anyway, we can just continue discussing this another time.”

Just like that, the rest of the film club members seemed eager to leave, either rushing for their next class or just not wanting to be in the same environment as an irritable Changbin.

Chan directed his gaze towards you as you were getting up from your seat, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“I’m sure Changbin will keep your points in mind, don’t worry,” he reassured you just as Changbin chimed in with a ‘no, I won’t’ behind him, leaving the room promptly afterwards, leaving you free to let out the frustrated groan you had been withholding.

“Thanks, Chan. Sorry I kind of made you guys overrun your time,” you sighed, watching Hyunjin making his way to you with wide eyes.

Chan shook his head, holding his laptop securely in one arm as he let out a burst of giggles.

“No, don’t apologize! I should be thanking you, I didn’t think about your point until you mentioned it just now,” he murmured, “but again, sorry about Changbin. He’s just a little… protective of his work.”

Hyunjin let out a low whistle from next to you, “Extremely.”

You nodded, shrugging, “It’s alright, I get it.”

Chan flashed you a smile, his hand reaching out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “Thanks, again. See you around.”

Leaving the room with Hyunjin, you ignored the way he’d begun to chuckle to himself, “honestly, in this whole time i’ve been in the film club, i’ve never seen Changbin actually… argue with someone.”

You rolled your eyes, kicking at the stray pebble “well if he continues like this, you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of it.”

“You sure seemed like you were having fun, though, weren’t you?” Hyunjin was being sarcastic, knowing he was just doing this to dissuade you, his tone eliciting a scoff from you.  

You shook your head.

“You know for a fact I wasn’t. But it wouldn’t sit right with me if I just kept my mouth shut like you and the rest of your film club goons,” you shot him a pointed glare.

Hyunjin pressed his lips into a firm line, holding his hands up beside his head in surrender, prompting you to continue.

“If I want something done, I’m gonna ask for it. It’s as simple as that.”

===

To: my penpal Y/N

How are you?

Was your audition good? Thank you for the money. But $50 is a lot of money so I don’t think I should spend everything, my mom says I need to save money. Thank you for telling me what I should do, but in the end I didn’t buy another scooter. I did this because we were learning about needs vs wants in school and I think the scooter is a want. My teacher says this means I don’t really need it. But needs are things like colour pencils and pens and paper so I can write letters to send you. Maybe your mom tells you you cannot buy so many stickers because the stickers are a want and not a need.

Anyway, I think I can just let my sister take my scooter. Maybe I will just get another scooter for myself when I am older and I have more money.

I hope I will be hearing from you soon, Binnie.

As you said before, you weren’t perfect, but you surely did your best. But days like this you wondered if people like Changbin even tried.

After your interaction with said stubborn being during your meeting with the film club had put you in a bad mood, you were currently seated with Jisung in a booth at a popular burger outlet outside school, thankfully having managed to get a place in the midst of the anxious afternoon crowd. And even more thankful that you could eat your lunch in peace where you were very much away from Changbin.

“What did you say to him, again?” Jisung hadn’t bothered trying to hold in his laughter as he was almost shouting over the noise of the crowd, making you huff as you bit into your burger.

“I said it’s funny that he was talking so much shit about the main couple when he’s dedicating his entire movie to them,” you drawled, your annoyance returning as you recounted the spat you had with him during the small meeting you had with the film club just before lunch.

Jisung’s shoulders shook as he laughed, fumbling with his drink as his eyes shut tightly, giggles leaving him and seeming as though they would never end, “and that’s what you said word for word?”

You nodded, reaching over to press the lid of Jisung’s drink down firmer before he could spill it all over himself.

“I know you’re friends with him but I really don’t know how you work with this guy, he’s as stubborn as stubborn goes,” you huffed, taking another bite into your burger as Jisung’s laughter had died down, though his smile had only lingered.

“You’re worse,” he snickered, earning a glare from you.

Jisung remained unaffected, “Look, he’s honestly fine once you get to know him,” he tried to reason, sounding as though he were trying to convince a child to make friends, “I mean, we’re all still kind of wary around him when he’s in a mood but honestly, if not for the way you guys met, I’m pretty sure you two would get along well. He seems like he’s your type.”

Your eyes widened, scandalised at Jisung’s implication.  

“The only thing he has in common with my exes is being annoying, okay?” you rushed to push away the curiosity of what Changbin would be like as a boyfriend. Curse Jisung and his stupid implication.

“And plus,” you continued, hearing the doorbell chime for what sounded like the thousandth time to signal yet another entry into the diner that was now overflowing with people asking for take-out, “it’s not like he’s been very nice to me since I got involved with his stupid short film.”

Jisung sighed, his gaze momentarily distracted by something behind you, making you wave your hand in front of his face to keep his attention. He’d glanced back at you, an almost dazed look in his eyes before he’d given you a small smile, taking a bite out of his burger and not waiting to finish chewing before he answered you.

“I honestly think that he just needs a little more persuasion. Like, take this for example, something similar happened with him and Chan when they were composing something in the past, and trust me, if you don’t give up now, i’m pretty sure he’d agree to come to a compromise or something,” he gave you a shrug, his gaze returning to whatever was behind you (probably someone cute, you figured). You couldn’t say you blamed him; almost all your conversations revolved around you and Changbin’s squabbles these days.

You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him, “you really think he’d be willing to rewrite his script?”

Your tone was skeptical, already imagining how Changbin would simply tell you to keep dreaming if you’d brought up the proposal to him.

At Jisung’s lack of response, you’d frowned slightly, seeing him turn back to you calmly as his smile widened, giving you yet another shrug.

“Maybe you can ask him yourself.”

If there was any feeling one would get just before something bad was about to happen, that was definitely what you were feeling now.

You didn’t dare to tear your gaze away from Jisung as you watched him turn his body, his hand coming up in a wave that had only turned into a hi-five, his behaviour only adequately described as boisterous as he welcomed the people you were hoping you wouldn’t have to see for another week until the next film club meeting.

Well, Chan was fine, you were simply referring to Changbin.

“Oh, hey, Y/N! Didn’t know you and Jisung were friends,” Chan gave you a sweet smile, gesturing between you and Jisung as he spoke.

Jisung chimed in with a nonchalant “Best friends, actually,” which had only made you shoot him a glare.

“Might have to re-evaluate that,” you muttered, turning back to Chan and Changbin to give them as warm a smile as you could muster.

“Are you guys eating here too?” you asked.

You were oblivious to the way Changbin’s gaze flickered from your face to the food in your hand, and then back to Jisung, looking perfectly unaffected as he joked with Jisung about something you didn’t quite catch.

“Well, we wanted to, but, you know, with the crowd and all we probably won’t be able to get a seat,” Chan’s gaze was pitiful, to say the least, making Jisung raise his eyebrows, and that sinking feeling within you had only intensified as his next sentence left his lips.

Jisung had barely glanced at you as he held onto Changbin’s hand.

“Well, our booth’s actually meant to seat four people, so you guys could squeeze in if you want,” he offered.

Changbin quirked his eyebrow, skepticism written all over his features, though mostly directed towards you, “you guys really won’t mind?”

You glared at your burger, scrunching your nose up as you avoided Changbin’s pointed gaze.

Jisung scoffed, giving Changbin a loud smack on the arm, “of course we won’t, right Y/N?”

He turned to you, giving you a smile you could only describe to be devious (and fairly amused).

“Yeah,” your voice took a pitch higher unintentionally, “go ahead,” you murmured, scooting into the booth to make space for them.

You took another bite from your burger, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin took a seat next to Jisung, Chan excusing himself to retrieve both their orders.

“Funny that you showed up, actually. Y/N and I were just talking about your short film,” Jisung spoke, earning a pointed glare for you, as if daring him to continue (and you should’ve known that wasn’t going to faze him at all).

“Oh, were you?” Changbin drawled, his eyebrows raised and a slight smile playing at his lips, “I’m sure Y/N had a lot to say about that.”

As you were about to speak, Jisung had interjected with a little giggle, “she did.”

Changbin didn’t seem to take Jisung’s comment as an answer, simply keeping his gaze fixed on you, prompting you to produce an answer of your own. You ignored the knowing look Jisung gave you.

You sighed, “maybe I wouldn’t, if someone just took my suggestions.”

Changbin had let out a small huff at that, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded over his chest as Chan returned to the table with his and Changbin’s food, casting curious glances between the three of you seated at the table.

“Hope you guys didn’t fight while I was gone,” he joked, making you sigh, and you missed the pointed look he cast Changbin’s way when the boy had scoffed, “what were you guys talking about before I came?”

You shrugged.

“We were talking about the short film,” you told him, “kind of.”

Chan had perked up at that, turning to you as he handed Changbin his food, “oh yeah, I wanted to ask if you had more feedback about the scenes.”

You nodded, “I do, actually.”

Changbin’s gaze lifted from his burger to look at you as he sighed, “what is it now?”

You huffed, “It’s not that bad. I was just wondering if the content of the letters were gonna be read out during the scene? ‘Cause if it is, then maybe we could kind of make it a little more relevant to their personalities or something.”

“Will that be hard? What do kids even talk about in their letters?” Jisung laughed.

Changbin’s lips parted slightly before pressing them into a firm line.

“Well, they’ll be like 9 when they’re exchanging letters, I suppose, so I guess they’d at least know how to have a conversation… ” He sounded almost hesitant, making you wonder why he made talking about childhood penpals seem like such a complex thing.

You thought about your own penpal, Binnie. You were about that age when you were exchanging letters with him too, figuring you could give some insight on that until Jisung had intercepted.

“At that age all I did was talk about hot wheels, to be honest. Much less talk to girls,” he snorted, making you scoff, using your shoe to nudge his leg under the table.

Chan, who had been silently thinking, had straightened up abruptly.

“Wait,” Chan’s eyebrows lowered, frowning slightly as his lower lip jut out in a slight pout. He directed his attention to Changbin, pointing his index finger towards him, “didn’t you used to have a penpal?”

You had to stop yourself from making your shock too obvious, your eyes widening as your gaze became nothing but accusatory. How badly did his penpal experience go for him to be so cynical about it now?

Whatever it was, the newfound information made you curious as to exactly how much of the story he’d changed, more importantly, how much he’d retained.

“You?” you couldn’t help yourself from blurting, though Changbin remained unamused.

“Yeah, I did,” he bypassed your incredulous stare, answering Chan simply.

Jisung hummed, bringing one hand up to fiddle with his ear piercing, not having expected Changbin’s response.

“Oh, well, what was it like, then?”

Changbin shrugged, resting one of his forearms on the table to support himself, his other hand reaching down to pick up a fry, “was nice. We would exchange letters every week. Talked about a lot of things, sent each other pictures, you know, all that stuff.”

“Do you still keep in contact with them?” Chan asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, not having heard much from Changbin about this penpal in the entire duration of their friendship.

Changbin shook his head, “nope,” he popped the p, picking up his cup to swirl it around noisily, the ice rumbling as it got tossed around in the paper cup, proceeding to take a sip from it as the rest of you looked on curiously at him.

“Well, why not?” you dared to ask, a million different possible reasons running through your mind.

Maybe they did something to piss Changbin off, or maybe they got into a big fight (which also made you wonder how heated fights could get over snail mail), or maybe one of their parents disapproved of the other. The possibilities were endless as you anticipated just why 8 year old Changbin would’ve cut ties with his penpal. And maybe, you were enjoying the dramatic aspect of it a little more than you should’ve been.

But something about the way he replied felt restrained. Maybe you were reading into it too much, but he almost sounded evasive. But, of course, you chose to ignore (suppress) it for now, watching intently as Changbin had once again shrugged, an air of nonchalance to his gestures as he met your gaze.

“Just… grew out of it, I guess.”

You huffed, memories of your own penpal making his response sting.

You don’t think you ever ‘grew out’ of talking to binnie. You remembered how frustrated you were when you’d stopped hearing from him after he moved, and every letter you’d sent to his new address had only been returned back to you. Maybe he grew out of it, but you wouldn’t have left it like that if you had a choice.

You rolled your eyes at his response, something in your response seeming to have irked Changbin.

“What?” he snapped, making you hesitate just the slightest bit, deciding to bite your tongue and shake your head.

“Nothing.”  

Chan let out a huff of laughter through his nose next to you, shaking his head at you goodnaturedly.

“Forgive us, you always seem like you have something more to say,” Chan spoke, apparent ‘damage control’ for Changbin’s abrasiveness.

“Wait, so, you’re really not gonna have a happy ending?” Jisung frowned.

“Well, Changbin and I were talking about it after the meeting that day, we figured since we have time we could afford to change the script a little,” he hummed, turning to you, “you know, since it could be a chance to kind of send a more hopeful message like you were talking about.”

Your eyes widened, your hand almost reaching out to touch Chan’s arm but realising you were still holding your burger, “really? You’re open to changing it?”

Changbin’s gaze flickered momentarily to you, observing your posture, noticing how open and comfortable you seemed with Chan, the sight alone enough to make him scoff. Call him a cynic, but he couldn’t tell if this was you acting or not just to get your way.

“There could be another meeting for you to discuss and work on the script together, but yeah, we’re alright with changing it.”

You turned to Changbin, a hint of distrust in your stare, making him huff again, putting down his drink on the table with a little too much force.

“He said it, not me,” he told you, pressing his lips firmly into a tight line, “you wanna change my script so badly? Fine. But your ideas better be worth changing it for.”

Jisung scrunched up his nose as you turned back to Chan, not wishing to look at Changbin’s face any longer, leaning over to whisper to Changbin, “you two don’t like each other very much, do you?”

If he was caught off guard by Jisung’s statement, he didn’t show it.

Changbin shrugged, picking his drink back up, “they started it.”

At the sound of his accusation, your eyes narrowed, turning to glare at Changbin, thankful for Jisung nudging you under the table before you could retaliate with a comment of your own. Chan simply casting you an amused look, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of what you were about to do.

You shook your head.

Whatever, you pushed your annoyance away in your head, as long as Chan was there during the rewrite meeting, you’d hopefully still be able to maintain your sanity.

Or at least, that was the hope that you were holding on to until that night when you’d gotten a text from Chan.

Chan 11:17pm - hey, i gave changbin your number if you don't mind... you know, since you guys have to discuss to rewrite the script and all -

You’d almost sat up from your bed in shock, frowning against the harsh light coming from your phone and the contents of the text, the latter obviously making you more disgruntled.

11:17pm - won’t you be discussing with us?? Why not just make a group chat??? -

Your heart was pumping with anxiousness as you awaited his reply, something about the sound of the clock ticking putting you in an even more anxious state, your heart almost sinking as texts from him and Changbin had come in at the same time.

You looked at Chan’s first.

Chan 11:18pm - oh i didn’t tell you? All script writing is done by Changbin. I’m just in charge of the other elements like props and directing and whatnot -

You shut your eyes, suddenly wishing you could travel back a few seconds back in time and not have checked your phone when Chan had texted you. Bringing your fingers across your screen reluctantly as you typed a reply to him.

11:18pm - ohhh hahaha right i forgot, thanks chan -

Now for the bigger menace at hand. You swiped over to Changbin’s message, your finger lingering on his chat as you decided to stop being petty and just open it.

seo changbin 11:18pm - just so you know, i’m doing this only because Chan asked me to. we can go over the changes at my house. is saturday okay with you? -

You pulled your notifications bar down. Tomorrow was Friday, and from what you knew you were pretty much free on Saturday. Fortunately or unfortunately for you.

You took another deep breath as you typed out your reply to him. For your own sanity, you tried to ignore the way he felt the need to clarify that he wasn’t doing it for your sake.

11:18pm - saturday’s fine. What time?-

Resisting the urge to go offline when you saw him come online, you felt as though you were in some sort of staring contest through your phone as you watched him type, his message coming in quickly.

seo changbin 11:18pm -1? We could order in and discuss -

You sighed, it wasn’t enough that he had to take away one peaceful lunch from you today, but yet another one on Saturday.

11:19pm -okay text me your address-

Another sigh left you when you read that the address he’d sent you was just a few blocks away from your apartment. Maybe he lived alone too; most of the apartments here were occupied by college students looking for affordable rent and shorter travel time.

seo changbin 11:19pm - don't be late -

You scoffed, shoving your phone back onto your bedside table as you slumped back against your pillow, burying your head into your pillow and kicking at your blanket that covered your feet uncomfortably.

Fine, if he wanted to be that way, that was fine by you. You would just do this for the sake of the short film. Yeah. That’s all it would be.

===

“Let’s make this quick and painless for the both of us,” you blurted the moment Changbin had opened his door to let you in, glad to see he was donning an outfit similar to yours (sweatpants and a t-shirt), your previous worries of being underdressed dissipating instantly.

He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to run it through his hair, his hair messy and sticking up at one place awkwardly, looking as though he’d slept on that side for too long.

“Hello to you too,” he grumbled, shutting the door behind you as he gestured to the living room.

You glanced around his rather plain apartment as he led you to the living room, his laptop resting on one of the cushions of the sofa, soft music verberating from the device.

“What food do you want?” he asked, earning a thoughtful frown from you as you set your things down on the floor next to the sofa, taking a seat on the other side of it.

“Fastest delivery would be if we order from that Chinese food place nearby, right?”

Changbin’s eyebrows quirked up in intrigue, “I was thinking of that place too,” he handed you his phone, letting you order what you wanted before handing it back to him.

It was otherwise silent between the both of you as you waited for the food to arrive, neither of you quite knowing how to break the silence. The tension slowly made you grow increasingly fidgety as time passed.

Changbin had sat down on the floor next to the coffee table, resting one hand on his soft rug as he pushed a stack of papers towards you, drawing your attention away from your soft copy of the script on your phone as you realised it was a hard copy of the script.

“Just use this, i’ve got a copy on my laptop,” he mumbled, making you nod, accepting it from him as you flipped to where you left off.

Changbin glanced at the clock, in disbelief that only 10 minutes had passed and yet he found himself feeling jittery at your silence. Turning his gaze towards you, he let out a small sigh.

He had expected you to say something by now, or let out some snarky comment about something he wrote. Your silence was unnerving him, it was almost as if he wanted you to say something, especially with the way you were scribbling notes beside the pages with a mechanical pencil he didn’t even recall seeing you take out.

“Which scene are you at?” he blurted, his anxiousness getting the better of him, making your head shoot up abruptly, surprised at his sudden outburst.

“Uh,” you glanced back down at the page, “I’m at the part where they find out they used to be penpals,” you told him.

“Okay,” Changbin murmured, thinking about where to go from there, momentarily distracted when he’d heard the doorbell ring. Pausing, he’d stepped out momentarily to retrieve your food, the rustling of bags getting louder as he neared the table.

Setting the food down on the table, surprising you when he’d pushed the food towards you, your surprise hadn’t gone unnoticed by Changbin.

“What?” he scoffed.

You shrugged, “nothing, just didn’t know you were capable of doing nice things,” you told him, a sarcastic lilt to your tone.

Changbin inhaled deeply, shooting you a patronizing smile as he broke his chopsticks, “anyway, I think we could start from there, since that’s kind of the turning point of their relationship.”

You nodded, pulling your food towards you as you began to eat.

“I was thinking,” you spoke, pausing to chew on your food, “this part has a lot of unanswered questions, like… I wouldn’t just let it go so easily if I found out someone was my penpal that I grew apart from. I felt like they should’ve had a bit more of a confrontation there.”

Changbin hummed, shocking you when he’d leant closer to you to look at the script, making you push it towards him, a small huff leaving him at your action.

“What questions do you think Penny would ask, then?” he asked you.

“I don’t know, maybe why they stopped talking in the first place?” there was a hint of sarcasm in your tone, making Changbin look at you over his mouthful of noodles.

“I told you already, Soobin grew out of it—”

You grimaced at his answer, your chopsticks halting before your mouth momentarily before you shovelled your noodles in with annoyance, “I don’t believe that.”

“I used to have a penpal, and I can guarantee you, the reason why we stopped talking wasn’t because we ‘grew out of it’,” you told him pointedly, having to stop yourself from growing too riled up about it, Changbin tensing up at your revelation.

Bringing his glass of water to his lips, he let his gaze wander around everything but you as he thought, curious as to what your penpal experience was like. Finally meeting your gaze, he almost sputtered over his water with how much he wasn’t paying attention to his actions, the only thing on his mind being to get his words out.

“You did?” It was pathetic, really, that that was all he’d come up with after such a long pause.

You nodded.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, the story isn’t based on my penpal, it’s based on yours,” you attempted to draw the attention away from you, unsettling feelings of sourness building within you at the thought of how you left things.

“So, think. What would you be curious about?” you prompted him, seeing him purse his lips, a certain dazed look tinting his gaze.

Swallowing his mouthful of food, he looked at you as he thought. He would want to know if they were still passionate about acting, he would want to know how their family was doing, he would want to know if their personality had changed, if they were still the assertive ‘go after what you want’ character that had encouraged him so much. Or maybe, just how they are.

Changbin’s lips parted, shaking his head slowly, “... so many things,” he murmured.

An unexpected tension fell between the both of you, Changbin’s eyes meeting yours with a sort of unspeakable thoughtfulness, as if he was still thinking about your question.

You broke eye contact first, “write that, then. Who knows? Maybe they’re both as curious as the other.”

“You’re one of those glass half full people, aren’t you?” he huffed, making you click your tongue in annoyance.

“And what? You have no glass at all?” you retorted.

“Would you still be… curious too? Even If it didn’t end well?” he asked suddenly, a stupid question, Changbin thought, but still something he felt compelled to ask in the moment, as if he wanted the confirmation that you, someone with a penpal experience as well had shared the same sentiments as him.

You nodded, “of course I’d be. I could hate you and still be curious about you,” you shrugged.

“Me?” Changbin asked, making your eyes widen, the tension dissipating slightly as you shook your head vigorously, your hands coming up to wave at him dismissively.

“No no, not you. I meant-” you stopped yourself, glaring at him, “I just meant it as an example.”

And for what you were sure was the first time, Changbin had laughed, beginning to feel a bit more comfortable around you, his eyes forming narrow slits and the apples of his cheeks rounding slightly as he grinned, soft breathy giggles leaving him.

“Alright, I get it. It’s not a secret that you don’t like me.”

You huffed, not being able to help but feel the need to reassure him, “you’re not… that bad I guess. Jisung talks you up all the time.” you said, unsure why you felt the need to reassure him that you didn’t have a burning hatred for him, “you’re just stubborn as hell.”

He scoffed, “I could say the same about you.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, reaching over to flip the page, “glad to know we’re on the same page, then.”

“Now that you said it,” Changbin began, moving on quickly from your bickering as he shoved his empty food packaging aside, “I do think Soobin would be curious about the things they talked about in their letters.”

You perked up at that, eyebrows raising, “That reminded me, I actually still have some of the letters from my penpal when we were younger, if you want I can loan them to you for some inspiration or something.”

Changbin nodded, flipping over to another page before pausing to type something on his computer, “yeah, actually that would be useful.”

You continued to look at the script for what had become hours, the both of you deciding it would be easier if you each assumed one of the character’s voices, speaking on behalf of the characters as you discussed. Coming up with a ‘what would soobin/penny do?’ process.

All the while during this discussion, Changbin had been scribbling down in his beaten up journal, the sides of the spine of the book peeling off when he’d set it down on the table, making you grimace.

“Do you think Pe—”

“Why don’t you just get a new journal? This one’s making such a mess,” you blurted out, frowning at the way the little brittle pieces of God knows what material covered his notebook had fallen onto the coffee table, making him tear his gaze away from what he was writing, looking at the mess on the coffee table you were gesturing at and letting out an amused huff.

“Oh, didn’t notice,” he smiled, “but that won’t be necessary, this journal’s been serving me fine.”

“It’s literally falling apart,” you pointed out.

“And you’re literally exaggerating.”

You scoffed.

“I mean, look at it, it’s such a hassle to use, since you have to keep cleaning up whenever you do so much as touch it,” you reasoned, seeing him shake his head.

“I don’t need a new journal, I’m perfectly fine using this one,” he told you, making you scrunch your nose up in distaste, Changbin looking at you with amusement heavily laden in his smile.

It seemed that there was something about the hours of bouncing off ideas and bickering that warmed the both of you up more, not feeling as wound up or hostile towards each other as you did a few hours ago, bonding over a shared want for the short film to be good.

“What?” he asked, leaning back against the sofa and resting his arm on one of the cushions, his other hand grasping his fingers as he awaited your response.

“You sound exactly like my mom,” you had a sour look on your face, continuing, “I bet you’re one of those needs versus wants people.” You huffed in amusement, shifting in your seat as you flipped through the scene you were about to discuss.

Changbin’s lips parted in shock, a breathy huff leaving him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged, “You know, those people that decide on buying things through the concept of needing it or not.”

Changbin rolled his eyes, “yeah, like any other normal person.”

“It’s so boring! Ever heard of the concept of treating yourself?” you huffed, gesturing wildly. You were clearly very passionate about this.

Changbin shook his head, the smile lingering on his face, “I’m starting to understand why you’re Jisung’s friend. Sure, a treat once in a while is understandable, but i’d rather not waste my money on things I could do without.”

You huffed, a deep sigh leaving you, recalling a conversation you had with Binnie about his scooter.

“What’s up with boys and this need versus want thing? My penpal said the same thing even though he was only eight,” you mumbled, a small breath of laughter leaving your lips, leaving Changbin frowning at your statement.

Maybe other kids just talked about the same things he did with Y/N? He brushed the thought aside.

“He did?”

Changbin’s voice came out more hoarse than he’d intended, the intent in his stare making you falter momentarily, forgetting what you were doing just for a second.

Thankfully, you’d snapped out of whatever trance you were in, shaking your head dismissively, “nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

Changbin tilted his head at you, narrowing his eyes as he contemplated whether to pursue it or not, watching closely as you busied yourself with flipping pages just to look busy, even though the inside of your mind was spinning with an indescribable feeling that came with convincing yourself that the drift between you and your penpal was merely circumstantial.

You chewed on your lip, hating the way it felt as though your stomach was churning as you remembered the disappointment you felt when your letters had stopped getting sent through.

You were young, surely you shouldn’t blame yourself, you believed that. Your finger fiddled with the corner of the page, staring at Soobin’s dialogue.

‘Did our conversations even mean anything to you?’ the dialogue read, and you inhaled deeply as your head lifted to look at Changbin, your abrupt movement almost making him flinch in surprise.

“Why did you really stop talking to your penpal?” you sighed, curiosity getting the better of you. Though at this point you weren’t sure if it was curiosity or simply reassurance. Maybe even closure. All of which you needed to satisfy.

Changbin knew you weren’t going to accept his ‘grew out of it’ statement for an answer, deciding to be honest with you, you know, for the sake of the short film.

“I just… stopped hearing from them,” he began, heaving a sigh of his own as he shifted in his seat, picking at the imaginary dust on his sweatpants, “guess they had nothing to say.”

You couldn’t lie about it, you felt relieved. A part of you began to understand why he’d painted Penny’s character out to be like that, or furthermore why Soobin had seemed so affected by the revelation.

“Nothing to say…” you echoed, as if trying to wrap your head around his reasoning as well.

A small huff of amusement left him, though there was a hint of bitterness in his smile.

“I wouldn’t have minded, you know.”

He took his lower lip between his teeth, letting it go and you watched as the blood rushed back into his lips, looking redder than before.

Your eyebrows knit into a frown, “Wouldn’t have minded what?”

Changbin met your gaze, giving you a resigned shrug, “hearing it,” he continued, “nothing, everything.”

You could almost feel your heartbeat slowing down, the tense silence returning in the room and making you feel like you couldn’t breathe. Now that was some dialogue.

“Oh,” you broke the silence, your blank expression reading pure shock, your reaction catching Changbin off guard, “write that down, that’s such a Soobin thing to say.”

Changbin couldn’t do anything but laugh, shaking his head at you, “how opportunistic of you,” he teased, though he wrote it down nonetheless.

Maybe you being here was good, Changbin thought, it reminded him not to take himself too seriously sometimes.

===

To: Binnie

How are you?

I hope you are not still sad about your friends. I would tell you not to listen to them but i know that’s difficult sometimes because you can hear everything they say. But they were being very mean so they are not nice people. I don’t agree with what they said, because i think you are very nice and you have a nice smile. I don’t think you are scary. Sometimes my mom tells me i should smile more so people think i’m happy but I think you should just smile if you are happy. If you are sad then you can be sad. It is not a bad thing. I’m your friend because you’re nice to me and I like talking to you. If they’re going to be mean to you then they’re not your friends. If they do that to you again you can tell me their address and I will go and tell them myself!

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N

You’d shown up on the filming set on the first day absolutely buzzing from head to toe and ready to go (though, when you told Jisung about how you felt he’d insisted it was because of the lack of substantial sleep and the cans of energy drink you’d both drank the night before while he was helping you prepare your lines), but it seemed that everyone on the set was more tense than ever.

You found Hyunjin huddled with a few of them next to the sound cart, deciding to approach them to ask where Changbin was, having bought a coffee for him along the way.

“Hey,” you called, Hyunjin jumping in shock as he turned, his hand over his heart as he winced at you.

“Why do you move so quietly!” he groaned, making you dismiss him with a wave. 

“Did something happen? You guys look stressed,” you took a step towards them, possible reasons fluttering around in your mind but none seeming quite appropriate for the context you were in. Maybe the semester’s GPA results were out?

“Whatever, do you guys know where I can find Changbin?” The boy next to Hyunjin, a freshman by the name of Jeongin had sucked in a sharp breath at your question, making you grow even more confused.

“He’s… a little tense these days, so I’d suggest being a more careful around him,” Chan explained, earning nods of agreement from the film club members.

Your eyebrows raised, confusion showing in a slight pout on your lips. You didn’t remember him behaving out of the ordinary when you’d seen him the day before.

“Where’d he go?”

“He’s over there,” Chan pointed towards where the camera was set up and true enough, you saw Changbin seated at a bench there busying himself with his phone.

Nodding, you’d made your way over to Changbin, discomfort growing within you at the stares you were getting from the club members (some of which you didn’t even know the names of) as you made your way towards the blonde haired boy. It was a wonder why they all avoided him like the plague.

Changbin seemed to have sensed your presence, looking up from his phone and giving you a small wave as you reached the bench, sitting down next to him and holding out his cup of coffee.

Accepting it gratefully, he’d given you a nod.

“Thanks,” he glanced at your hands, “you didn’t get one for yourself?”

You let out a small burst of chuckles, “nope, figured it wasn’t the most logical thing to do since i’m already pretty alert from last night’s energy drinks.”

Changbin sucked in a sharp breath, clicking his tongue in teasing disapproval, “I figured as much, Jisung was way too hyper when I met him at the studio.”

Your expression was sheepish, “I’d say I was sorry but it was... important.”

Changbin huffed, “It’s alright, as long as you’re taking care of yourself.”

Before you could react to his statement, Changbin had acted as though he hadn’t said anything, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tore his gaze away from you, looking forward as he took a sip from his cup, “ready to film today?”

You nodded, regaining your bearings, trying not to think too much of his words.

“Pretty much, you?”

Changbin nodded, “yeah, even though we still have a little bit of the script left, I would say i’m pretty confident.”

You glanced behind Changbin, spotting Hyunjin looking at the both of you with sheer disbelief, making you roll your eyes, turning back to Changbin, angling your body on the bench so you could hug your knees to your chest, looking at him curiously.

“Are you feeling okay?”

He nodded, looking at you with confusion written in his features, clasping his hands around his coffee cup as he rested his hands on his lap, “yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”  

Maybe it was just his resting bitch face.

“Smile,” you commanded, nodding your head when he’d looked even more confused.

You watched in amusement as Changbin had laughed, shaking his head before looking at you with an all too sarcastic smile, his hand coming up in a peace sign next to his cheek, a smile unknowingly making its way onto your face at the sight.

“Okay now, don’t smile,” you continued.

Changbin had let his smile fall, looking just the same as he did when you’d shown up, making you press your lips into a firm line, a slight knit in your brows as your eyes narrowed.

Turning his head, he straightened up.

“Cool, Minho’s here,” he said, getting up and holding a hand out to help you up.

“Thanks,” you muttered, not expecting him to turn around and give you a smile.

“Let’s go, Penny.”

It was strange to you that there was something that felt so familiar about his smile, it reminded you of something that made you feel nostalgic. You liked seeing him smile. Changbin had a nice smile.

You brushed the thought away, nodding as you took his hand, letting him help you out.

“What, so you guys don’t hate each other anymore?” Jisung groaned later on that same week when you’d told him about the exchange you had.

He lifted his head from where he lay on your bed, “God, with you guys it’s like everyday’s something different.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, “well… that’s because it is, isn’t it?”

You spotted the box of letters from your childhood penpal hidden beneath a stack of novels you had yet to unpack, your eyes glistening with triumph as you reached into your storage closet, fishing it out with a grunt.

“Come to think of it, Changbin hasn’t said anything about you since that day you met him to rewrite the script,” he murmured thoughtfully.

Heaving a sigh as you got up from your squat, you closed your closet, “which day? We met up a few times for the script.”

Jisung perked up at that, sitting up slightly and supporting his weight with his elbows.

“You did? Why am I only finding out about this now?” he scoffed.

You rolled your eyes, walking over to your desk to set the box onto it, “I told you about it, you just forgot.”

Making your way over to the bed, you flopped down onto your belly next to Jisung, looking at him curiously as he frowned at you. His mention of Changbin had made you curious.

“He… really hasn’t said anything about me?” you dared to ask, regretting it almost immediately when Jisung had taken the opportunity to twist your words.

Jisung’s expression had changed to one that you were all too used to, how his eyes would give away that he was thinking of saying something to tease you, his lips curving into a slight smirk.

“Why? Do you want him to be talking about you?”

You wrinkled your nose, a small panicked scoff leaving you, “yeah, right. Don’t get too carried away there.”

Jisung prodded further, leaning closer to you as he drawled, “well, why not? I mean, you said it yourself, you guys are on pretty good terms now, aren’t you?”

You purse your lips. The film club had been nice enough to give you a month longer to work on the script, you and Changbin ending up getting carried away and doing the whole thing over. And of course, within that month, you interacted with Changbin in some way or another almost everyday.

It could be meetings at his or your apartment, or spontaneous phone calls when one of you thought of an idea and you’d felt inspired to discuss it (even if you were on your bed tucked into your sheets when it happened most of the time), sometimes it was even just simple texts checking up on each other and asking what the other thought about the updates.

Nonetheless, you’d grown used to Changbin’s presence, finding that after that meeting at his house, it was like it had softened the both of you up to each other, especially when you realised your perception of Changbin was all wrong and that really, he was as soft as softies go.

You gave Jisung a shrug, tugging the neckline of your shirt down, feeling as though the room had gotten hotter, “I mean, yeah, I guess. He doesn’t annoy me as much as he used to.”

Jisung let out a chuckle, the laugh bubbling out louder as he continued.

“You know if you tell me you like him now,  I won’t make fun of you.”

“You’re lying.”

“So, you do like him?” His grin widened, making you sputter for a better response, figuring you’d dug your own grave with that one.

“Don’t stir shit,” you narrowed your eyes at him.

Your reaction had only tickled him even more, clutching his belly as he sighed, “I knew it. Remember? I told you he was your type!” his tone was triumphant, making you regret fuelling his suspicions.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re very happy about that,” you huffed, turning away from him and burying your face in your soft sheets, your hand coming up next to your head to smooth over the fabric.

You felt Jisung’s hand on your arm, his expression grim.

“Wait, so am I really right? You like him?”

You shrugged his hand away, though he hadn’t budged, giving up soon after.

“I mean,” you enjoyed your last moment of peace before you decided to reply to him, “he’s cute, I won’t deny that. And he’s become a lot nicer to me… he’s fun to talk to? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little attracted to him.”

Jisung snickered, “that’s cute, but gross. I can’t believe you like Changbin.”

Trust him to only get that out of whatever you’d just told him.

You turned to give him a wide-eyed look of disbelief, “oh, please, you were the one that kept fluffing him up to me!”

Jisung had simply shrugged, unfazed by your outburst, a small sound of hesitation leaving him.

“I would say I did a minimal amount of fluffing. I just called it before the both of you realised.”

You grit your teeth, “fine, enjoy your moment. But one word about it to Changbin and you’re dead. Got it?”

Jisung’s eyes widened, his hand coming up to mimic zipping up his lips.

“Got it.”

===

“Cut!”

You turned to cast a desperate look to Chan, the said boy looking apologetic as he called for a stop again. You watched as he leant down for Changbin to murmur something in his ear, Chan nodding before making his way over to you and Minho.

“We’re thinking maybe you could try that scene again but maybe with just a little more… in the moment? Maybe try not to rush through it,” Chan suggested to Minho, making the said boy groan.

“Sorry, it’s my fault. It’s just- we’ve been filming for hours, if I wasn’t so scared of Changbin I would’ve—”

“I know,” Chan reassured Minho, giving the both of you a small smile, “hopefully we can get this scene done quickly and then we’ll all be free to go, hmm?”

You nodded, letting Chan make his way back to where the monitor was as you got back into position with Minho.

Changbin watched intently as you and Minho acted out the scene again, something about the way Minho was delivering his lines seeming so unaligned with the picture Changbin had in his head. Was it the lines that weren't doing it for him? Was it because Changbin couldn’t quite tap into the emotions of the character in this scene?

He wasn’t sure what exactly it would look or sound like to be in love, but whatever ‘Soobin’ was showing, sure wasn’t what Changbin wanted it to be.

After you’d finished the scene, the film club members had waited anxiously for Changbin’s greenlight on whether they were free to go, all of them anxiously looking on as Chan went to talk to a few of them at props.

You taken the liberty of making your way over to where Changbin was, seeing him intently monitoring the scene that you’d just shot, the reason behind why he’d made you and Minho run through the same scene 15 times starting to become clear to you.

“That’s not gonna help you make it better, you know?” you spoke, shoving your hands into your pocket and scrunching your eyes shut as you braced against the cool wind that was blowing your way, the trees rustling loudly as Changbin’s head shot up, the frown remaining on his face.

“What?” Changbin figured he came off as a little too annoyed, but he stayed unwavering nonetheless, wanting to know just what you thought you knew about him.

“You know, I watched an interview once, and this actor said something that was so true,” you began, taking a seat next to him, feeling his gaze on you before you continued, your gaze falling on the image of you and Minho on the monitor, “he said that playback makes scenes seem a lot more dissatisfactory.”

Changbin’s frown deepened, “I don’t get it, just spit it out.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile, “I’m trying to give you advice here, okay? As I was saying, be in the moment. Not everything’s gonna turn out like how it is in your head.”

You inhaled deeply, a slight shiver running down your spine at how cold you felt, taking a hand out of your pocket to tap him on the arm.

“Now can you wrap it up and call it a day? The rest of them have been dying to go home but they’re too scared to tell you.”

Changbin hummed, “They are? Why?”

You nodded, seeing Changbin already making to stand up and call for the rest’s attention, with you taking the opportunity to lean over to him and mutter, “Dunno, maybe they just haven’t figured out what a softie you are yet.”

Changbin attempted to press his lips together firmly to contain his smile, though eventually giving up and letting the soft smile be shown on his face as he dismissed the club members, the rest of them already having started shifting their equipment back.

You’d decided to help them shift the equipment while Changbin talked to Chan about something, trying your best to ignore the way the weather seemed to be getting chillier as all the equipment had started feeling cold to the touch. Mental note to start wearing warmer clothes out after today.

“Thanks for convincing Changbin to free us,” Hyunjin sighed when you were coming down the stairs after locking the club room, making you huff.

“He’s not some dictator, you know. You guys could just ask him next time,” you reasoned.

Hyunjin scoffed, “I’d much rather keep my life, thank you very much.”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your phone as you thought whether to text Jisung if he’d wanted to meet for dinner.

“You’re so dramatic,” you told Hyunjin, “I told him and I got to keep my life.”

Hyunjin scoffed, “that’s cause he—”

He stopped himself abruptly, eyes widening for a split second before he shrugged, “that’s cause you fight with him all the time, it’s different.”

You saw a text come in.

Changbin 8:14pm - do u wanna go get dinner? I’m done talking to Chan -

“Speak of the devil,” you murmured, erasing your drafted text to Jisung and replying to Changbin to say that you would wait at the quad.

Changbin 8:14pm - i was thinking of eating some cold noodles -

You grimaced at the thought, Hyunjin pulling you out of your thoughts, “are you waiting for Changbin?”

You nodded, sensing his hesitancy to let you wait there alone, “you go ahead, I’ll be fine, he’s already on his way.”

Hyunjin frowned, turning to see Changbin from afar already making his way over, Changbin having spotted the both of you and given Hyunjin a wave.

Waving back, Hyunjin nodded, “alright, I’ll see you.”

Tugging your jacket tighter around yourself, you folded your arms, hoping Changbin would hurry up so you could finally go somewhere with heating.

Though once he’d met up with you, you were a little confused when he’d gone a completely different direction than you’d expected, leading you to a traditional restaurant that served mainly soups and broths instead.

Don’t get me wrong, you were thankful for the warmth of the restaurant, of course, but just a little confused about why he changed his mind.

You let him order for the both of you, looking curiously from where you were seated facing him, leaning back in the wooden chairs as Changbin ordered from the older lady running the shop.

“I thought you wanted to eat cold noodles?” you scanned the menu in search of the item, confusion increasing when you found nothing of the sort.

Changbin shook his head, “figured you might wanna eat something warmer,” he admitted, making your lips part in surprise.

“How’d you know?”

Changbin didn’t know how to explain that it was because he’d kept looking at you during shooting and he didn’t miss the way your hands would clench and unclench the fabric of your clothes, or how you’d fold your arms more and shake them out in between takes when you thought no one was looking.

“…  just a wild guess.”

You brushed his comment aside, the both of you talking about your upcoming classes or complaining about readings that had yet to be read, the sheer boiling temperature of the stone pot making heat rush to your cheeks and spread through your body, thankful for Changbin’s wild guess.

Leaning back in your seat with your hands over your stomach, you sighed at how full you were feeling, already anticipating your food coma as you let yourself zone out staring at the label of Changbin’s bottle of soju.

“Are they really scared of me?”

You’d dragged yourself out of your daze (reluctantly), your lips pursing, “sorry, what did you say?”

Changbin averted his gaze, fiddling with his fingers under the table. Smoothing his thumb over the soft skin at his palm, his tongue poking at his canines before he looked back at you, meeting your gaze with a certain determination.

“The film club people,” he repeated, “are they really scared of me?”

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess. Like, they talked about it before… I guess it’s because you have that serious expression on a lot so they might take it the wrong way.”

Observing his expression, his lips had parted, a blank expression on his face, “I have a serious expression?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, tilting your head at him, “I think It’s just your resting face. They’re kind of wary of how they act around you during meetings, you know, which is why they had that kind of reaction when I first spoke up about the script.”

Changbin let his grip around his spoon relax, whatever rice he’d scooped into it dispersing into the soup.

“Then why aren’t you scared?”  

You almost snorted with how immediate your laughter had bubbled out of you, a bout of chuckles leaving you as your shoulders shook lightly.

“Because,” you waved your spoon slightly, “there’s nothing to be scared of.”

Changbin’s blank expression had prompted you to continue.

“I have no problem with you being assertive about what you want,” you explained, “I mean, if it were my script, i’d probably be equally, if not more, assertive about how I want it. But that’s a good thing about you. You don’t just… shut up if something doesn’t sit right with you. That’s something I’ve always thought was really important.”

Call him crazy, but Changbin couldn’t adequately describe how your words had done more in spreading a giddy warmth in his chest than the food ever could.

He wasn’t always like this. If anything, he’d wanted to say that he’d pushed himself to be more assertive after countless conversations with his penpal about not being afraid to speak up for what you want.

Though he’d always been scared of whether he’d be doing a disservice to the people he worked with if he chose not to speak up, he was glad that you reminded him just why he started doing it in the first place.

Penny’s character in his head had started to look more and more like you. And he was glad.

“You wanna hear something crazy?” You blurted.

You didn’t know where you were going with this. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, really. You just knew that saying what you said to him had triggered a sense of what you could only describe as love within you. If you knew anything about it.

“What?” he asked, the smile on his face making you stop in your tracks. How could he remind you so much of someone, yet seem so much like a mature, upgraded version of them at the same time?

You couldn’t possibly tell him that you were starting to be kind of glad that you didn’t meet Binnie, because you felt like you were looking at him right now. And childhood penpal or not, you were so much more smitten with the one sitting before you.

“Nothing,” you breathed, “nothing, sorry, forget I said anything.”

Your revelation reminded you that you’d brought your old letters from Binnie for Changbin to tap on for inspiration to write the last scene, shutting your mouth and turning to fish the box out of your bag.

“I just remembered, you asked for these right?” you pushed the box towards him, seeing him pick up the box gingerly (as though it were that brittle old notebook he uses), placing it into his bag.

“I’m assuming they’re the letters from your old penpal?”

You nodded, “but don’t laugh when you read them, okay? He was really nice to me.”

Changbin huffed, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, “yeah, yeah, no promises.”

After you were done with your dinner (Changbin paying for it as a supposed ‘thank you’ for being patient during filming), you’d prepared yourself to fight against the cold night breeze as you stepped out of the restaurant before Changbin, not having expected to feel a warm weight being draped over your shoulders.

“I don’t know why you decided to come out without a coat when you know now’s usually when the weather gets colder,” he tutted his tongue, feigning disapproval, not giving you any time to be shocked at his gesture.

He stood in front of you, tugging the coat tighter around you as he met your gaze, giving you a tired smile.

“I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”

You bit down on your lip, your racing heart and panic making the best reply you could come up with to be a mere, “didn’t peg you to be so gentlemanly.”

To which Changbin shrugged, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“I can be pretty romantic if I want.”

You were gonna get whiplash at this rate.

That same night (or day, 3am was a fine line), you’d received an email from Changbin of the last scene for the film, reading through it and having to stop in between for breaths and water breaks because you had no idea Changbin was capable of encompassing such romantic sentiments in a scene.

Looking at what he wrote, you would never have thought he was the same person that kept arguing with you about happy endings going to shit.

Changbin had written the scene in a burst of inspiration, having felt an almost uncomfortably foreign giddiness within him after returning home from your dinner, feeling even more motivated when he’d watched the film footage they’d shot earlier that day (unconsciously rewinding more than once to watch you act) deciding to just go with whatever he was feeling and write down the scene he had in mind.

And if anyone was asking, no, he totally didn’t picture you as Penny and himself as Soobin the entire time while doing so.

By the time you were done, it was almost an hour later, the aftermath of reading his scene making you pick your phone up and send him a text.

4:02am - did something happen? What’s with the lovey dovey script? Did someone finally change their mind about Penny? -

Not long after, Changbin’s reply came in, feeling thankful that he’d only decided to open your box of letters, or more accurately his letters, after he was done with the scene, something about what he found putting him in an all too thoughtful mood.

Changbin 4:04am -let’s just say... i took your advice-

===

“What do you think, Changbin?” Chan’s voice had snapped Changbin out of his daze, the latter looking at Jisung with a shrug.

“I would say you’re just short changing yourself if you didn’t talk to her. I mean, you said you liked her, right? So what are you waiting for?” Changbin sounded almost impatient, his tone eliciting a grunt from Jisung.

“Yeah, you say it like you’re not the one hiding your hopeless crush on Y/N.”

Chan’s eyes widened, not having expected Jisung to say it so blatantly.

Changbin sputtered, looking at Chan for help only to be met with giggles.

“I’m sorry, dude, it was really quite easy to tell.”

Changbin wanted the cushioned booth to swallow him whole, scrunching his eyes tightly shut in a wince.

“Whatever, that’s not the point,” he waved Jisung off dismissively, “we’re talking about your love life here.”

Jisung pursed his lips, shaking his head, “it’s not fun anymore, I wanna talk about yours.”

Changbin glared at Jisung, “i’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Good, ‘cause you should be having it with Y/N.”

Chan raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, humming in suspicion.

“Why do you sound like you know things...”

Jisung shrugged, raising his hands to give a dramatic shrug, “Do I? I guess we’ll never find out since Changbin ‘isn’t gonna have this conversation with me’.”

Chan turned to Changbin, who currently looked as though he would rather die than be here right now, “actually, what are you waiting for?”

Changbin brought a hand up to massage his fingers on his temples, a resigned sigh leaving him.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably not do anything until the showcase. I still don’t know how exactly I wanna go about it.”

Jisung snickered, “you’ll be fine, seriously.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’ll just enjoy whatever time I have left to think about it till the showcase. Now back to your issue… ”

But obviously, Changbin didn’t use his 3 days of buffer time very well.

He was lucky the atmosphere of the showcase and the unexpected crowd of people had prolonged the time until he’d be in a situation where he’d feel compelled to talk to you about it. Whatever it was.

You hadn’t noticed, obviously, the way Changbin had been keeping himself busy talking to guests and teachers that had shown up, people from the media and publications club. You were too busy being whisked away by your own friends and a already slightly tipsy Minho who thought it was a good idea to pregame drinks before the afterparty later on.

It’d only been when things started calming down and people were actually watching the film that you’d been put in a position where you had no choice other than to think about the boy seated in front of you tapping his foot incessantly on the carpeted floor of the auditorium.

Once the show was over, you’d leant forward, about to congratulate him when you’d both been whisked up by one of the teachers-in-charge, pulling you together with Minho onto the stage to answer questions from the audience.

The questions were fairly simple, most of them from the media and publications club trying to get technical details for their article, allowing you to zone out from where you stood on the stage, letting Changbin smoothly answer all the questions they could possibly throw at him. It wasn’t like Minho was in any position to answer them, tipsy and zoned out of his mind.

It was only when you’d heard him fumbling around with his words that you looked up from the spot on the wall you were staring at, turning to look at Changbin with an embarrassing amount of concern on your features.

“I’m sorry can you repeat the question?” you’d spoken into the microphone, hearing someone that sounded almost identical to Jisung asking how he got inspiration from the story.

You looked at Changbin curiously, as if silently asking if he needed you to step in, only to have him look at you with a blank expression, his mouth opening and closing as he fumbled for an answer.

“Oh, well, I’m sure I can answer this on behalf of Changbin,” you began, “we’d worked on the script together, and it was inspired by a lot of things, like our experiences with pen pals as well as movies like ‘you’ve got mail’.”

Changbin’s shoulders slumped with relief, nodding towards you as a silent thanks, the moment cut short when you were once again whisked away into different crowds to take pictures or to carpool to the afterparty.

Though you were bored 10 minutes into the party, Minho having gotten drunk before you could even get past your second drink, you’d let Changbin have his fun. You figured it was a good thing that he was being recognized for his efforts, even if he didn’t look like he was enjoying the attention very much. He needed it, you supposed, to be forced to see how much people enjoyed the work he made.

But you didn’t stay to see it too long, adjourning to the porch of whoever’s house you were in to enjoy an environment away from the loud music and too many people you didn’t know.

“Already bored?”

You’d jumped at the sound of Changbin’s voice, his footsteps loud against the wooden porch as he took a seat next to you on the swing, holding out his bottle of soda to you, “do you want some?”

You shook your head, seeing him shrug, “suit yourself, then.” He took a long sip of his soda, sighing afterwards.  

A tired smile on your face, you let out a deep sigh, “didn’t expect you to find me here so quickly.”

“How could I not?” he laughed, shaking his head, “In case you didn’t notice, I was suffocating in there, figured I deserve a break.”

“Good job, though, I’d say you handled everything well…” you started, your smile growing, “... though there is one thing…  I didn’t think you were the type to struggle with public speaking.”

Changbin’s lips parted in shock, scoffing, “shut up, I don’t usually.”

“Sure, you don’t,” you teased, bringing your hands to your sides to support your weight, letting your legs lift off the ground as Changbin used his feet to move the swing gently.

You leant back in your seat, enjoying the silence you were able to get out here as compared to the chaos going on within the house, noticing how tense Changbin seemed, his posture anything but relaxed as he’d let out sigh after sigh, tapping his rings against the seat of the bench absently.

“Relax,” you chuckled, “it’s already over.”

Doing the opposite of relaxing, Changbin simply stopped moving the swing, angling his body to face you more as he fished in his blazer pocket for something, pulling out an envelope from his jacket, “I have uh… something for you.”

Holding it out for you to take, your gaze fell on the colourful envelope, the little strawberry stickers you remembered using your savings to buy as you frowned at the address written on the envelope in your old messy ‘princess handwriting’.

Your gaze darted from the envelope back to him, “how did you… how do you have this?”

“I have it,” he began, letting out yet another sigh, “because you sent it to me.”

If it could, your heart would’ve stopped in that exact moment.

“Read it,” he prompted when you’d stayed silent, your hands moving urgently to open the envelope, your heart feeling warm when you pulled the paper out, already being able to see the ‘To: Binnie’ written with your favourite scented marker.

To: Binnie

How are you? I’m fine. I am writing this very late in the night because I finished my rehearsal for my school play in the evening and I just finished taking a bath. I have to be quick or my mom is gonna scold me for not sleeping yet. I wanted to tell you that you should sign up for the competition. Which is why I have to mail this to you A.S.A.P as possible because you said the sign up closes in a few days. I think that you should just try it out, even if you don’t do well. Because then at least you can say that you gave it a try and you had fun. I saw this on a tv show, and they said if you don’t try, you will never know if it will turn out well, because you didn’t try.

So I’m telling you to try!!!!! Just try your best and have fun. I think you will do well.

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.

“So this is me… trying… it. Whatever it is,” he sounded out of breath, almost, and your heart had begun to pick up speed at how it seemed as though this would be the time where he would confess his feelings to you (if Soobin and Penny were any guide to go by).

You should’ve known Changbin better by now, though.

“Thank you… for helping me with the film. You know, for giving me crap about it because I know that that wasn’t really what I felt. I was just… bitter, but for some reason, you giving me shit about it kind of reminded me why I liked being friends with my penpal- or, I guess, liked being friends with you, so much in the first place.” he was looking at you more confidently now, straightening up as he continued.

“It wasn’t because you gave me fake money to buy a scooter, or anything,” he laughed, “it was more because you were someone that was friends with me for who I was? You were kind, and you were honest.”

Changbin fiddled with the envelope in his hands as you tried your best to contain your smile.

“And you were especially supportive, you know, in your own argumentative way.”

You let out a huff of breathy laughter at that, your hand coming up to touch your necklace, finding something else to fiddle with to contain your anxiousness.

“I’m glad, though, that I didn’t know you were that Y/N,” he told you, “because I already grew to like this Y/N so much, that… finding out was just… a pleasant surprise.”

For the first time since you saw the letter, you’d spoken, a breathy, “me too,” leaving you, embarrassing you to no end.

“I’m glad it was you,” you murmured, averting your gaze, not having expected Changbin to have reached out a hand towards yours, hovering just momentarily before making the decisive action of grasping it gently.

“Me too.”

“So are you gonna explain why my letters—”

“Shh,” he shut his eyes, the smile on his face making you give in almost instantly, “don’t ruin it.”

===

“I didn’t know people even still sent letters these days,” Jisung snorted, sipping on his coffee that he’d just gone downstairs to buy, “here, you have one, but there's no name.”

You frowned, picking it up and finding the handwriting of your address awfully familiar, feeling as though you’d definitely seen it scribbled on a specific brittle old notebook before.

You flopped onto your bed, opening the letter as Jisung resumed playing whatever game he was busy with on your desktop computer.

Thankful for the distraction, you’d quickly unfolded it, scrunching your nose at his choice of pen name.

To: my penpal Y/N

This letter may just be over a decade overdue, but I wanted to firstly say I’m sorry for making you wait so long. That letter about my film competition, that was the last one I received from you, and one of my favourites. I figured it out, by the way, I gave you the wrong address. Phonics was a very tricky thing for my eight year old stubborn self that refused to cross check with my mom.

I figured sending you a letter was best, you know, since you know I'm not the very best at public speaking, or just speaking in general sometimes, I doubt I'd be able to say as eloquently what I wanted to say to you in this letter.

I wanted to give you a few updates. Firstly, I met someone in my film club. Well, technically I auditioned them for my short film so there’s no one to blame for the trouble they caused other than me. I didn’t like them that much at the beginning. I thought they were just trying to impose their stupid happily ever after beliefs on me, someone who thought I was a big bad cynical bitter man that didn’t believe in love stories.

As you probably guessed, they challenged me (a lot), and waiting to see them started to feel like the days where I would wait to hear my mom tell me that a letter came in for me, even better actually. They reminded me of the qualities in myself that I was always afraid of showing, and they reminded me what was so good about being unapologetic for who I was sometimes, because they accepted all of that, (but not without giving me an shit about it first, of course).

But i’m thankful, I’m thankful because I really grew to like them a lot. I liked how I could be comfortable being myself around her, and I liked how they would support me when I needed it, but also to correct me when I need to be corrected.

They were real, and I liked that, a lot.

So, the point of this was that if they ever happen to receive this, you know, (because I totally didn’t know your current address, obviously), I hope they know that I’ve grown to like them very much, to like the personality that i’ve come to know, and that i’m very excited to grow to know (and like) even more.

I’ll be seeing you, Binnie.

[milf-harrington]

HELLO DANCE AU YES BEAUTIFUL this is the anon that gushed about rich kid zuko and sloppy sokka ajksldf im now gushing for jinzula/zukka ballet au,,,,azula being allowed to dance before zuko bc she's a girl and ozai is like "zuko u can't bc ur a boy that's disgraceful" and he gets disowned and joins next year? but still feels oppressed which is why he works so hard? zuko says sokka's confidence is annoying but really he's just jealous bc he was never allowed to embrace his skill,,i have a lot of THOUGHTS

-R

omg yes i love this, your thoughts are *chefs kiss*

- ursa used to teach azula and zuko how to dance when they were younger, so they both ended up with a love for it but after ursa dies azula started taking proper ballet lessons, partially out of spite bc she wanted to be better than her mum some day

- zuko wasn’t allowed to continue ballet professionally, so he used to go to his uncles house after school and watch videos of azula’s practice and learn from those (they’re not mortal enemies in this au)

- ozai finds out and then burns and kicks zuko out at 14, who then goes to live with iroh

- he spends the next year working his ass off learning how to dance with his fucked up depth perception, and it’s azula who (secretly) encourages him to audition for the fancy dance academy

- when he meets sokka during audition week he’s like “what the fuck is wrong with this guy” bc he’s so confident in himself and his abilities eventhough technically there’s a lot too improve (he also doesn’t get how sokka is such good friends with the two best dancers in their year, yue and suki, but somehow he is)

- they spend audition week in this weird unrequited enemies situation where zuko’s like “fuck that guy all my homies hate that guy” and sokka’s like “whos that guy and why is he so cute”

- and then their teacher (piandao) is like “aight zuko, you have to help sokka bc he’s got potential but if he pirouettes without spotting one more time he’s gonna give himself brain damage”

- cue zukka meeting up in the dance studios/grass areas/gazebo’s to practice and they eventually are just,, in love and zuko’s like “ah fuck”

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Hi bee, i hope you're doing wellI just wanna ask for some tips bc I can't seem to do the "show don't tell" thing when writing. I have no idea why, it's weirdly difficult. Any websites or good examples about it? I'm kinda disappointed in myself. Thank u for being so kind! Much love to you

Ah yes, the classic advice that everyone says but is very hard to actually define. As a beginning writer, I always found this especially confusing because all writing is “telling” in the sense that you are telling a story. You only have words. It’s also a very hard thing to find clear examples of because “telling” might only be a sentence or two but good “showing” might take a whole scene, a whole chapter or a whole novel to do right. It’s something that takes practice and, unlike rules of grammar, can’t be fixed overnight. 

I don’t always get it right (and “right” gets pretty subjective with this topic), but as an exercise, let’s compare the first scene I ever wrote to the opening scene of Void. 

Excerpt One: Opening Scene of If You’re Struggling

(Disclaimer: I am so embarrassed by this cringey-ness. There is a reason I deleted it from Tumblr. Please don’t judge me too harshly. Writing is a learning process)

To illustrate the point (and because Tumblr’s formatting options suck) I’ve put a strikethrough on all the parts I would consider “telling” instead of “showing”.

“Have a great first day, honey!” Your boyfriend gives you a quick kiss as you grab your coffee and head out the door for your first day at your new job. You’ve been eagerly awaiting this day for several weeks now, since your successful interview with BigHit Entertainment. Up until now, you’ve been working as a makeup artist on a spec basis here in Seoul, but this is going to be your first full-time job as a makeup artist and stylist.

At the BigHit offices, you are welcomed in by the head stylist whom you met at your interview and she shows you around the offices.

“Ok, we need to get to the dressing room” she says, clapping her hands. “The boys are recording their dance practice today, and we need to do their makeup beforehand.”

Your heart beats a little faster when you realize you’re about to meet BTS. A month ago you had never heard of them, but since getting this job two weeks ago, you’ve been a bit obsessed - listening to their music non-stop as you do housework, watching all of their music videos over and over, seeking out all of their Bangtan bombs and television appearances. When your boyfriend caught you watching the “Boy in Luv” video for about the 30th time on your laptop, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek.

“Do I need to be worried about you spending so much time with these boys?” He teased.

You turned your head and kissed him reassuringly on the lips. “No!” you giggled in mock offense “look at them, they’re just kids!”

You enter the dressing room and are pointed to a makeup chair in front of a mirror. You set about cleaning up your station and setting up your kit before the boys arrive. You hear the boys coming before you see them -  shouting and laughing down the hallway before they get to the door. You are still setting up your station when the door clangs open and they burst into the room.

You turn around to find a tall, older blond boy already sitting in your chair. He gives you a smile and shakes your hand. “Hi. I’m Namjoon. You must be the new stylist.” He introduces himself as the leader and offers to help you get to know the other members. “Watch out for the younger ones, they like to play jokes on each other and everyone else.”

After Namjoon, you meet Jin. He is polite and spends most of his time in the chair filling you in on his recommendations for the other members “Be sure you get underneath Yoongi’s eyes, he was up late last night”, “Don’t go too dark on Jungkook’s lip color”, and so on. When you’re finished, he smiles gratefully at you and stands up to go.

Hoseok comes running over and throws his arm around Jin’s shoulders. “Jin’s make-up is easy since he’s so handsome already, right noona?”  he teases Jin.

“Yes, precisely.” Jin replies, not embarrassed at all, but gives you a smile before heading off to hair.

Hoseok is the easiest to talk to out of all of the boys. He peppers you with questions as you do his makeup, all about where you’re from and where you’ve worked before. Before you know it, you’ve told him all about your life, including how you moved from South Korea to the US when you were six for your dad’s work and moved back when you were sixteen. “Oh wow!” He says excitedly. “We can all practice our English with you!”

While you are talking, a loud commotion comes from the back of the room as Jimin and Taehyung are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and shouting about something.

“What’s going on?” You ask Hoseok and he smiles, a little embarrassed.

“They’re having a disagreement about who gets to sit in your chair next…” He replies. You just blush and look away.

While the younger boys are distracted with their battle, Yoongi plops down into your chair. He introduces himself with a nod and puts in headphones.  About halfway through applying his makeup, you realize that he has fallen asleep. You look over at Namjoon, “What do I do now? Should I wake him up?” You ask.

Namjoon just chuckles, “You can keep going, he’ll just sleep through it.” When you’re finished, you gently wake him back up and point him in the direction of the hairstylist. He grumbles appreciatively and stumbles off.

Jimin has apparently won the game and comes rushing over to fill the vacant chair. “Hi. I’m Jimin.” He flashes you a devilish grin, then adds “You know… you are a lot younger and cuter than our last stylist…”

You’re a bit flustered, but Namjoon saves you. “Jimin, you can’t talk to our stylist like that!” He smacks Jimin gently upside the head and suddenly Jimin is just an adorable kid again.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry” he says and you get to work on his makeup.

Taehyung watches you doing Jimin’s makeup, making goofy faces in the mirror when your back is turned, trying to get Jimin to laugh and mess up all your hard work. He slides in when Jimin is done. He spends most of his time in the chair shouting across the room to Jimin, who is now having his hair done. You keep having to gently remind him to sit still.

The maknae is last. “Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He quietly introduces himself. He is really shy and barely says anything else to you as you do his makeup, but you can tell he is trying really hard to stay perfectly still, despite several attempts from the older members to distract him.

Once all of the boys are ready, their manager comes and rounds them up and you hear them running back down the hall to the dance studio laughing and joking. You breathe a sigh of relief and can’t fight back the smile that spreads across your face.

The first few weeks of working at BigHit are fantastic. The boys continue to warm up to you as you get to know them better. Namjoon loves talking with you in English, especially really quickly so his bandmates can’t follow what he’s saying. Of course, you can’t always follow what he’s saying either, but he is so thoughtful and full of ideas. Yoongi still often falls asleep, but he also now comes in with music recommendations for you and hands you the other ear of his headphones while you do his makeup. Hoseok continues to be your favorite, telling you all about his childhood, the audition and debut process, and filling you in on the latest gossip. Jimin and V continue to cause trouble, but are so adorable when they do that you can never stay mad at them. And Jungkook continues to be quiet and sit perfectly still in the makeup chair. He is so chatty with his bandmates that you are a little sad he isn’t more comfortable with you, but it does make his makeup easier to do than Taehyung’s.

Thoughts:

So there a lot of things here like it being her first day of work, her being nervous, and the mannerisms of the boys that would have been much better if I had showed them through dialogue, description, and physical mannerisms rather than telling them outright. It would have done a lot better job of placing the reader in the scene and would read as a bit less cringey. The last paragraph in this scene is particular egregious because instead of allowing the reader to see those relationships build over time and really invest us in those characters, I just summarize in one paragraph. 

As a result, we get to the end of this scene and we know a lot of facts, but we don’t really have any good sense of who this character is or why we should care about her or empathize with her. 

Excerpt Two: Opening Scene of Void

(Disclaimer: This is also not perfect, but it is much improved from the previous)

“Can you see them?”

You blink your eyes as you stare into the microscope, squinting against the bright light. You’ve been staring into this scope for two hours, searching for tiny signs of life.

“Maybe?” you reply. Your colleague leans in closer, close enough to smell his shampoo. Your eyes begin to water as you scour the field of view, checking each fleck of dirt for your prize. But again, you came up empty. “No, I don’t think so.”

You lean back in your chair, closing your eyes and rubbing them to relieve the strain. You didn't get much sleep last night. But you can’t bring yourself to complain to Hoseok.

He groans, standing up and twisting side to side. Your back aches in sympathy from bending over these finicky slides all morning. “We’re going to run out of samples.” The corners of his mouth pull down into a frown.

“We’ll run out of kerosene first,” you mutter. You look back through the lens one last time, hoping you missed something.  

“They should have sent us with more.” Your fellow science officer stands up and walks over to chemical storage.

“Yeah, because large amounts of volatile organic liquids are a great thing to have on spacecraft." No one else on this ship would appreciate your joke. It’s not a good joke. But Hoseok humors you and gives you a small chuckle.

“Should we try an acid?” he suggests, as he examines the inside of the storage cabinet.

“Acetic?” He nods and scratches his chest as he fishes out the necessary bottle. He walks the acid back to your lab station and sets it down on the counter next to you.

He sighs and puts his hands on his hips, resuming his twisting back and forth. He clasps his hands together and does a long slow stretch upwards. Your eye catches on the sliver of exposed skin popping into view as his shirt rides up.

His smooth skin stretches across well-defined muscles, distracting your serious scientific mind. You lick your lips as you imagine how warm he would feel under your palm. You stare at the gap between his navel and the top of his pants. Not for the first time, you find yourself wondering what his skin tastes like.

“We should dilute it.” His shirt falls back down, breaking the spell. You look away, shaking your head, embarassed by your own lacivious thoughts. You’re a professional. A highly educated astronaut and scientist. You have a PhD, for god’s sake. Focus on the mission at hand.

“Yeah, we should.” You nod in confimation before standing up to get some glassware. “What concentration?”

As you turn around to reach the water tap, Hoseok moves to reach the tablet behind you. Your small lab is so narrow that you end up colliding with him. You bounce backwards off his body, cradling your beaker of water, headed straight back toward all of your ship’s glassware. You panic. Visions of shattering thousands of dollars of lab supplies fly through your head. But Hoseok catches you before you stumble into the cabinetry. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize he’s got you in his arms.

“Fuck.” You smile. “Sorry, Hoseok.”

“It’s okay.” He laughs, shaking his head. “My fault.” His hands linger on you as you both chuckle. You feel the heat of his touch seeping through your jumpsuit.

Despite living in such tight quarters, it’s rare that you’re ever this close to him. You try to avoid physical contact with the crew out of self-preservation.

He smells good. Hoseok always smells good. While your ship smells mechanical and sterile, the man holding you smells warm and human. It’s comforting, but in a way that makes you ache with how you long to bury yourself in him.

Your colleague lets go of you and steps backwards, coughing into his shirt sleeve. He picks up the tablet and scrolls through your research materials. The warmth of his hands begins to fade from your shoulders. He finds the correct dilution factor and reads it out to you.

You measure out the appropriate amounts of acid mixing it with water. Hoseok retrieves another fragment of the meteoroid that you’re scouring for microorganisms. When he returns, you cover the sample with the acid, stopper the flask and set it to oscillate for a hour.

“Nothing to do now but wait.” You sit down on your stool and drum on your thighs. The idea of being alone with Hoseok for another hour fills you with nervous energy. It's a relief when he excuses himself to the bathroom.

It didn’t used to be this hard. When you started this mission two years ago, you had no problem being alone with any of your crew members. You were professionals doing a job together, and there wasn’t time or energy for idle sexual tension. But as the mission drags on, you have begun to feel more and more on edge. And it’s not only Hoseok. You are finding it harder and harder to be alone with any of the crew. When you spend all night fantasizing about someone, normal conversation becomes difficult.  

You stare at the flask rocking back and forth on the counter and let your mind wander. You replay your previous clumsy moment.  You imagine Hoseok catching you in his arms again, but this time you grab him and kiss him. You smell him and taste him and surround yourself in him. You close your eyes and follow the fantasy further. You imagine dropping to your knees and sucking him off up against the glassware cabinet. You imagine the way the lab equipment would clink as he bent you over the lab counter.

Hoseok returns, brandishing his tablet. “I got the new article from Geology on microfossils, if you want to take a look.” You sigh and nod.

Thoughts: So there is definitely some telling happening in this scene too. Telling is not always the worst thing in the world, although I wrote this scene nearly two years ago, so if I could go back and edit some of this out now I would. But what I want to point out here is how much information I convey without ever having to explicitly spell it out: we’re on a spaceship, the OC is a scientist with a crush on her colleague, she is touch-starved, they are searching for fossils, etc. And I think it does a much better job than the previous example at drawing the reader into the scene. 

___

In general, here some good pointers for moving more in the showing direction:

1. Focus as much as you can on the present moment. What is your character thinking right now? What are they feeling? What information are they getting from their senses?

2. Use dialogue. Dialogue is a great way to show relationships between characters and fill in backstory without long paragraphs of just “telling” your readers stuff. Just be careful that it sounds like real dialogue and not exposition masquerading as dialogue. No one tells anyone their whole life story the first time they meet them or repeats information that the other person would obviously know. 

3. Trust your readers to fill in the gaps. Readers are very good at picking up context clues. You don’t need to spell everything out for them. If you put them in the scene and describe the world around them well, they will figure out lots of things just from context.

Hope that helps! The only real solution is to play around with it and practice and see what you like. Good luck!

[lgcalec]

HELLO EVERYONE this is alec son aka son seongjin, older brother of @lgcxjieun and he’s been a trainee since jan 2017, currently looking at the ACTING path and he is 22!!!

gonna put some info about him under the cut and some wanted plots!!! just LIKE THIS to plot hehe i will im after i finish going through the mlist :D fair warning i wrote a lot idk

okay about alec

he is formerly an athlete and he has one (1) braincell that only works half the time

he’s also rly laid back

but also like?? super high tension??? always????

there’s no in between

grew up in toronto canada (where my canadians at!!) so he speaks fluent english, tho he’s been in korea and using korean long enough that he has some weird accents sometimes and also uses old english slang bc he’s not Caught Up To The Times bc he doesn’t get told anything until months later by his old friends in the land of maple syrup

went to sopa!!!

an annoying Bitch

very impulsive like example one: he auditioned for lgc for fun bc his sister was and also got in???? what???? now he doesn’t know what to do tbh

he’s the epitome of the “can you please cite your source(s)” “source: dude just trust me”

doesn’t know when to shut up honestly he just talks a lot in general and will switch topics super fast like one moment ur talking about what’s for lunch today and the next he’s talking about a serial killer documentary he watched five years ago and then the next he’s going to tell u about his trip to the aquarium last week

he’s a Long Boi he’s like 2/3 leg it’s weird he’s V Long (i googled and he’s 185cm right he’s 114cm leg ... like ... Bro LITERALLY ~2/3 LEG!!!!)

wanted plots this is a mess i apologize ahead of time

best? friends???? people who alec would die for and vice versa (maybe not Die die but like ... u know get lectured by a coach w) he’s been in legacy for 3+ years now so people who joined then !!! or people who joined after and clicked well w him idk i ain’t picky

so you brought/made breakfast for the roommates right. you go to give alec his portion but BAM you pull back his covers to see??? mcdonalds??? what????? but are u gonna say no to hashbrowns no he didn’t think so

he’s been feeding the stray cat(s) that passes by the company on his way home from work at night and he’s named it but??? you also???? have done the Same Thing so now ur fighting over who’s name is better aka fuck you the name lucifer is way better than whatever you came up with!!

you’ve been watching him absentmindedly eat a sandwich and play with a stress ball and u just witnessed him bite into the stress ball while simultaneously throw the sandwich across the room and u just wanna know if he’s ok

also all he eats is ramyeon and convenience store kimbap someone check on him his life is a Mess™ 

is that a ghost in the dorm?????????? no it’s just alec in his olaf onesie dancing terribly as he gets water at 3am

but also he’s scared of ghosts so maybe u caught him freaking out over the curtain moving weirdly or the door moving weirdly and now he doesn’t want to be alone in this practice room anymore

your friendship is based off of the fact that alec is the Least Picky Eater ever and will eat all of the bits that you don’t like to the point that u seek him out to give him parts of your breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack that you don’t like and he’ll just [opens mouth] no matter what he’s in the middle of doing

you watched him get beat up by a girl half his size in front of the legacy building but when you ask him if he’s okay he pretends he doesn’t know what just happened .................. like is that a secret girlfriend??? no???? THEN WHO

FEMALE MUSE: since he works in an olive young (like a drugstore, think cvs, shoppers drug mart) you came in to buy pads and he was working the counter and u, awkwardly paid for them, and he acts entirely normal but slides a small chocolate bar in for free when he thinks ur not paying attention

you came into the olive young that he works at while he’s stocking the makeup section with lipsticks and since he’s a work u ask him to recommend “““generic makeup product””” and he just looks at u blankly like .... what I Am Sorry i don’t usually work in the makeup section honestly i don’t know shit

A CRUSH PLOT???? idk maybe alec’s been rly nice bc he’s just Like That and he’s given you the wrong signals and you confess???? and alec is just [waves arms around like windmill] WHAT

my brain is dying now but i’ll add more if i come up with any more LOLOL 

if u reached the end pls have a cookie 🥴 and if anything catches ur eye pls lmk!!!

[ofcmckenna]

new york’s very own mckenna asher was spotted on broadway street in jimmy choo romy pumps . your resemblance to taylor hill is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc ,  you’ve been labeled as being materialistic , but also devoted . i guess being a taurus explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be wrists covered in makeup swatches , a perfectly blended halo eye ,  and never being seen without perfectly manicured nails . ( i once made a fake account to expose information about myself just to get more followers ) & ( cis-female & she / her  )  +  ( lia , 19 , she / her , cst . )

hello , loves ! it’s me , lia ( i also play margo ) back again with another trash child that i’m hoping you’ll all love as much as i do <33 i first came up w kenna many years ago and haven’t had the opportunity to write for her in a long long time , so i’m really excited to bring her here ! as always , if you wanna plot go ahead and LIKE THIS and i’ll happily come love you down . if discord is more your jam , hmu there too @ 𝐛𝐛𝐧𝐨$𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥#1904 . love y’all !!! 💕💓💕

S T A T S ↴

-- * FULL NAME : mckenna sophia asher -- * NICKNAME(S) : kenna ( preferred name ), kenny , ken , mick -- * AGE : twenty-one -- * D.O.B : may 10th -- * ZODIAC : taurus -- * GENDER : cis-female -- * ORIENTATION : bisexual biromantic -- * HEIGHT : 5″7 -- * NATIONALITY : american ( has dual citizenship in america and wales ) -- * BIRTHPLACE : colwyn bay , wales -- * OCCUPATION : youtuber / makeup artist -- * TRAITS : devoted , ambitious , hard-working , materialistic , stubborn , patient , sensual , reliable , organized , possessive , imbalanced , attention-seeking

B I O G R A P H Y ↴

honestly i am........ too lazy to make this a nice bio so plz forgive me for settling on bullet points ,, but at least that’s less reading for you !!!!

mckenna’s father is from wales and works as a plastic surgeon for the rich and fabulous and her mother is from new york and works a beautician and stylist for celebrities . together they had 5 children in total , the kid in the very middle being kenna . the family spent most of her childhood living in wales before moving to new york just before mckenna started high school

all of her siblings are really talented . it must be in their genes or something to have an affinity for the arts . her older brother is in a popular band . her older sister is a principal dancer . her younger sister is an incredible painter . and her younger brother is like six so he’s still coming into his own but there’s no doubt that he’ll be a prodigy at something

and what about mckenna ??? well she tried following in her brother’s footsteps by learning a bunch of instruments but none of them clicked . after that she tried to take dance classes with her sister but it was clear to see that she had two-left feet . she could barely draw a perfect circle , so painting like her younger sister was out of the question too . eventually she tried to pursue an acting career , auditioning for tv shows and movies but never booking anything more than a handful of commercials

so she spent a majority of her life feeling pretty inadequate compared to her siblings . she just wanted to be good at something , anything really . and she wanted to be praised for it . luckily , she eventually found her thing . though it was sorta unconventional : kenna figured out that she’s good at makeup . it’s basically an art form in itself and since she had the time on her hands to practice , she got pretty good at it

she started posting her looks on social media , gaining a little bit of attention on her instagram and later even starting a youtube channel ( at the time it was called pinkglitter2234 bc she was like 13 and cringey ). doing makeup and making youtube videos was her new favorite pass time and pretty much all she did throughout high school . kids in her school started recognizing her as “the the girl who talks funny and makes youtube videos” ,, so that’s pretty cool ig

it really wasn’t until her senior year that her channel gained a serious following . by the time she graduated she worked her way up to 1m subscribers and just a few hundred thousand away from having 1m on instagram too . CRAZY . and since youtube had become a serious job to her that she wanted to continue doing , she figured that she’d take a gap year off just to focus on that and building her personal brand . so she moved out and got an apartment in the city , paid for all by herself ( though mommy and daddy’s money certainly helped furnish it with all her lavish stuff ) and got to WORK

that ONE gap year turned into a gap... three years ??? she never applied to university and honestly she doesn’t plan to anytime soon ! her social media career has never been more poppin’ tbh . she has like over 8m subscribers on her main channel ( now called makeupmckenna ) and just a little bit under that on her vlog channel . she’s had various partnerships with different makeup brands , colourpopcosmetics , morphe , and lancôme just to name a few . on her channel she also does fashion / styling videos , which has gained her attention from several brands that have sent her pieces to promote and invited her to see their shows at fashion week and whatnot . big money moves basically !!

okay now for her secret : basically ,, kenna is hard-working don’t get me wrong , but she’s also obsessed with increasing her following and is willing to do anything if it means signal boosting herself and becoming more successful . so basically , at one point she made a fake account that posed as one of her “haters” “exposing” her-- and since no publicity is bad publicity , it got more people talking about her and following her . she even made a sob story youtube video in response to the “hate” she was getting and the rumours that were sparking because of it . the account has since been deleted but that doesn’t mean that the screenshots of the rumours aren’t still circulating the internet . it’s been a few years since the “scandal” but that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t get talked about from time to time

P E R S O N A L I T Y  &  F U N  F A C T S ↴

personality-wise : kenna is a sweetheart ! at least on the outside ! like she lowkey has selfish motives sometimes when it comes to gaining online popularity , but outside of social media she is genuine and goofy and a good friend i swear . would give you the designer clothes off her back if you’re close to her . also affectionate because she’s from a big family that actually has a healthy relationship with each other ( minus kenna’s minor jealousy she used to harbor as a kid... she’s kinda grown out of it now as a young-adult who’s successful in her own right ) so she loves to love . super materialistic though . loves shiny things and owning the newest trendy stuff . definitely thinks that money can buy happiness and she’s super stubborn so you cannot convince her otherwise . loves attention , will do just about anything to get it but if it doesn’t fit her “pristine girl next door” image then she’ll have to do it in secret . and since she has made a name for herself as being “innocent” , she doesn’t party too much . just not a big fan of that lifestyle

just bc she never went to college DOES NOT MEAN that my girl is dumb  .. she actually likes to keep learning new things by constantly reading and trying out new skills . she’s v much a jack of all trades but a master at none . minus her ability to beat her face and talk to a camera lol

she’s fluent in both english and welsh , and used to have an accent when she was younger but has since taught herself to sound super american . she thinks it makes her more appealing idk

very family orientated and keeps in close contact with her siblings and parents despite the fact that they live all around the world doing their own things

has collabed with loads of famous peeps not just for youtube videos but getting to do their makeup for gigs . she’s gotten to a point in her career where she’s able to bridge the gap between influencer and professional artist y’know what i mean ??

loves dogs . has a dog named tate who frequently makes appearances in her posts :)))

consumes an unhealthy amount of caffeine daily

doesn’t know how to drive . doesn’t even have a license or anything and who knows if she’ll ever learn tbh

she’s bisexual but has only come out to her close friends and family . hasn’t outwardly said anything to her following but they can probably make assumptions considering who she’s been seen getting close to . like it’s not a big deal to her , she likes who she likes , but also doesn’t think it’s anyone else’s business besides whoever she’s dating / sleeping with at the time

W A N T E D  C O N N E C T I O N S ↴

EDIT : i have in fact made a wc page so peep that here if ya want ! xox

[sometimes-legal-blonde]

University of California, Riverside- hacks

so, when I first sent in my SIR to UC Riverside- I had not a clue what to expect from coming to this school. I didn’t hear a lot about their theatre department, I was nervous about greek life, I was anxious about finding a job, finding my way finding roommates, etc, etc. 

I scoured the internet, Pinterest, Tumblr, Reddit(which was honestly the best source) for real student opinions of what it’s like to go here. and I didn’t find much.

Since I am finishing my first year at UCR, I figure I will write out ALL the essentials and pass them down to you, reader, to be able to conquer UCR, make a solid college choice, and know what to expect. 

ORIENTATION

so highlander orientation is a mandatory thing. It’s a good thing too- you really start to understand the school and the people and the vibe. you learn the campus and how to get around. you meet really dope people. 

~You need to register for the earliest one you can find~

I am saying this because you register for classes at orientation. I went to the last orientation and didn’t even get into a major related LC. It sucked. 

You also need to take placement tests BEFORE you go to orientation so you know WHAT to register for. Spanish? Math? English? find a UC and take your test to get it done. It’s super helpful. 

It is HOT. Bring water. Bring good shoes (i walked 10 miles one day!). Bring a portable charger. 

MOVE IN.

it’s hard. + exhausting. +scary. + exciting. I’m from the bay so i had a long way to go with tons of stuff and it sucked. It was also super emotional for my family and so that’s draining. Just be ready for that. Get there EARLY. If your move in says 2pm, honestly you could get there at 1. Get the good closet + dresser + bed. snooze ya lose. 

GREEK LIFE

So I knew before coming to UCR i wanted to rush a sorority. It has honestly been such a great thing for me. Greek life at UCR isn’t everything. It doesn't define your life if you do/don’t rush- you can still be in a social scene without it. BUT- it IS really amazing if you do choose to rush. 

If you are considering rushing~

- bring cute clothes! you need like cute outfits for all the days of rush + things that make you look cute and happy and make you feel good about yourself. 

- follow the sororities on Instagram and get a little familiar with them. so when you go to the houses you kindof know what you’re getting into. 

- do NOT feel pressured to go to a certain house because of a reputation or because of a friend you’re rushing with. Find YOUR home, somewhere YOU love and that you feel like you’ll be so happy at. These are the girls you’ll have sleepovers with and cry about boys but also go to dances and banquets and parties with. find your right spot.

when you rush

get INVOLVED in your CHAPTER. Getting involved immediately made me feel more at home with the girls. Do the bake sales, go to LETTERS!! play moonball, anchor splash, do your volunteer hours with them. It makes it so much more fun and you love the girls so much more. 

Theatre, Film, and Digital Production

so my major is TFDP with an emphasis in acting and directing. I always loved stage and it is where I see my success but this program is really versatile and has you work on both. It’s a GREAT department. I LOVE the staff, people, and opportunities. GET INVOLVED. If you are a theatre major you NEED to be auditioning, working crew, meeting professors, going to coffee with the fourth years, and learning all you can from one another, There are SO many resources on campus. here are a few that helped me:

- R’ Shorts (a film club on campus! audition for their stuff)

- ALL THAT JAZZ MUSICAL THEATRE (I founded this club, we do musical theatre stuff and masterclasses, its GREAT)

- Latina Play Project/Model Minority (both theatre groups that work so hard and do great shows!)

-GLUCK (get paid to do IMPROV)

- and honestly just auditioning for everything on campus!! The department itself does fall play, winter musical/winter film, and a spring production as well. Also, there are a lot of other ways to get involved in the department- there is ALWAYS something going on. 

In my experience, getting involved with people in the theatre department was the best thing I did for myself because everyone is SO kind and generous and wants you to succeed. 

CONCERTS

UCR throws amazing- AMAZING concerts. The lineups are great, the food is great, the photo opps are great, the pregames/after parties are GREAT. Just go, have a great time, and enjoy yourself. 

CLASSES

so like usually college is where we go to do school and stuff- and classes are HARD(for certain majors). I’m TFDP/Dance but I still have to take breadth and do the whooole shebang so here are a few tips to boost your GPA (even tho C’s get degrees).

1. RATE MY PROFESSOR! LISTEN TO IT!! DO NOT TAKE POORLY RATED CLASSES! SRLSLY

2. Taking a class C/NC is not the end of the world. If it is going to tank your GPA- DONT DO IT FOR A LETTER GRADE. there is a form online that allows you to CNC until i think week 8?

3. take a dance practice class for an EASY A and a GPA boost. My first quarter I took 2 dance practices before I declared dance and bc I literally SHOWED UP i got an A. People who don’t dance take these classes! Take beginning ballet or beginning hip hop. or spanish dance. literally any beginning course will be easy and fun. 

4. Study rooms are orbach are coveted during finals week. reserve in ADVANCE. 

5. 1st floor orbach- loud. 2nd floor orbach- silent. 3rd floor orbach- greek. 

6. if youre desperate- go on reddit and make a post about a certain class. reddit has saved me a few times honestly. hidden gem. 

7. GO TO OFFICE HOURS FOR YOUR TA’s. THEY ARE THE ONES GRADING YOU, SO IF YOU NEED SOMETHING AND THEY KNOW YOU- YOU’LL GET IT. I always had my Hist TA look at my papers before turning them in and one time my paper got submitted wrong and she let me resubmit and saved my ass. Literally just because I asked questions and was on her good side. 

RIVERSIDE THINGS

+back to the grind coffehouse in downtown is open really late, good coffee, and it’s cute. it’s cash only tho. 

+iced coffee from Lee’s sandwiches works better than adderall sometimes. it’s cheap and amazing. 

+$1 tacos at the taco place on university next to asian fusion/walgreens

+ding tea is supreme, roasting waters is shitty boba(but good smoothies) with cool, reusable, glasses, boba tea house is the closest walk to campus, but Ten Ren’s is the BEST for studying. 

+ontario airport is closest to UCR. 

+everyone raves. so EDM is huge. 

+you don’t need a bike to get around campus. I walked everywhere. It was great. it takes 15 minutes TOPS to get from one side to the other. 

+taps works harder than the devil

+inkhouse tattoos in moreno valley is $35 tattoos on Tuesdays and 1/2 off piercings. 

+riverside is pretty sketchy in some parts. Make sure you stay with people if you’re exploring at night.

+THE SRC HAS FREE MASSAGES SOME DAYS.

+UCR is in the shape of a circle. if you get lost, go to the belltower and work from there. people are really helpful. 

+if you have to take an 8am, take it your first year when you live on campus. and take it your first quarter. after winter, you lose your will to LIVE...

+if you get shitty classes, try to register again 2nd pass. It’s worth a shot!!!!

+if you can’t get any classes you need, SHOW UP TO THE LECTURE AND ASK TO BE ADDED. 

[dreammutual-remade]

idol!you and lucas

request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon

word count: 2.6k 

a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !!  I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily

warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((

what’s up butter cup

let’s dive tf in

as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby

alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies

tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???

all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen

we stan

anyways

you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE

FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS

(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)

also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)

on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them

eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys

they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”

(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)

and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease

okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one

the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie

“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”

“hYUNG PLEASE”

“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”

and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way

okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut

and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot

you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members

but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas

you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other

you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety

and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude

they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD

LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions

alright so you debut like, days before him no lie

you’re a solo artist bc idk

red velvet was full 😔🤟

anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?

and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?

like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath

you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo

on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR

no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g

but like the inside of SM ? is very cold

if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs

because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not

luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao

anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

the filming is almost done thank GOD

you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧

your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??

literally throws it like you made an oof noise

“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”

“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”

you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself

“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“

and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you

you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting

he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby

you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!

there’s excitement all over the place

he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((

you still got a crush on him /sigh/

one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol

you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook

him because ?? was that fLIRTING

you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING

also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry

big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores

you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming

okay TIME SKIP

your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK

you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song

you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack

what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::

what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited

what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS

NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS

FUCK FUXKFUCKFUXKCUDJ

so you do call the king of debuts

mark lee

and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME

he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES

you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone

u already kno it’s our boy yukhei

he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft

wow i’m , affected writing this shit

“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”

“bUT WHAT IF I-“

“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”

“i know but i am, scared”

“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”

“i mean,,,, yeah”

“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”

“well , yeah”

“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”

“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”

“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”

“okay.. thanks lucas”

“anything for you, angel”

yOU HANG UP SO QUICK

how dare he

you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit

okay long story short you ended the industry dude

all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU

VOCAL QUEEN

DANCE QUEEN

lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel

but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever

when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but

you seldom get a second to yourself :(((

he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(

“good morning i hope u slept well !!”

“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”

“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”

this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean

he’s cute

he’s BIG and WARM

very sweet to you :(

talented and lovely

absolute dweeb

supportive of you even from great distances

BEST BOY UWU

you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH

“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”

“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”

“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“

when things calm down though you,, see each other

he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of

as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways

you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall

you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates

he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(

the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((

he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs

pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep

you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out

he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME

ABORT MISSION DUDE

and that’s pretty much it :(

months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best

and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members

you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain

he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there

and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport

(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)

he still calls you angel all the time :((((

god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS

but it has specifically changed to “my angel”

uwu

your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life

you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??

she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad

immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today

there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad

you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together

you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat

originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up

our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!

he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap

he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong

“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”

“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“

“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”

you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible

he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so

we stayin close

you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings

your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better

you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting

once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him

“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“

he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips

he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin

“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”

[yanyan-chen]

COLLEGE AUーDING ZEREN pt.1

•have you seen this boy dance??

•because WOW

•did i fall for him the second he started dancing???? yes

•ok on with the story

•zeren has been dancing for as long as he could remember,,

•boy was probably dancing in his mother’s womb lol

•whenever he heard music, his body couldn’t help but move along to the beats no matter where he was. like he’d tap his feet,, or bop his head,, or do little arm movements,,,sometimes he forgets about his surroundings,,,,like once,,, he was at a cafe w his friends right

•and he started grooving to the song,,,and as the song went on, his movements got wider,,,and then his elbow hit quanzhe’s drink

•let’s just say that zeren spent almost the entire day trying to remove the stain from the poor kid’s shirt

•only to have to spend $30 buying a new shirt

•and have quanzhe swear that he’ll never sit next to zeren again

•anyways,,

•he’s been in various dance competitions and either won first or second place, never anything less

•dancing was something that meant a lot to him. whenever he was stressed or overwhelmed, he would dance to relax his mind

•so when he got to college, he obviously chose to be a dance major

•he even became one of the leaders of the university’s dance team and always performed at festivals

•dance team also consisted of zhengting, jieqiong, and chengxiao

•so speaking of the dance team

•they were holding auditions soon to recruit two more members to fill in for the members that just graduated

•guess who decided to try out!!!

•if you guessed that it was you

•ding ding ding zeren you’re correct

•dancing was also something that you loved ever since you were a kid

•you loved how dancing allowed you to freely express yourself through all sorts of movements and there were no restrictions on what you had to do

•contrary to your life

•your parents expected you to become a doctor or just anything in the medical field. nothing else was allowed. they always disregarded your dreams and forced you to live the way they wanted you to. they’re always comparing you to their friends’ children too. like “so-and-so got accepted to one of the top universities. why aren’t you putting in more effort to be like him?” “so-and-so got all 100s on her report card, why aren’t you putting in more effort to be like her?”

•”why aren’t you putting in more effort to” was a phrase that you constantly heard throughout your life. they were never satisfied with your accomplishments. whenever you get high 90s on anything, they ask why didn’t you get 100s. they always say you don’t put in enough effort or you’re doing things half-heartedly when you really work as hard, if not harder, than the highest achievers. even when you get academic awards, they say “that’s how it should be”

•all you want is for them to acknowledge your achievements even if it’s just ONCE

•so when you got to college, you decided to go to one that was far from your home

•it also so happened to be the one your best friend, chengcheng, was going to, so you were more than content. you chose to be a pharmaceutical sciences major to satisfy your parents’ wish, but chose to try out for the dance team so you had something you were interested in in college. you wanted to join in your first year of college, but it was full ///:

•but not anymore !!

•so! onto auditions

•it was set to be in the afternoon exactly a week after the first semester began, and chengcheng went with you for support, but also because another good friend of his would be there

•you sat in one of the seats as you waited for your turn, and everyone was really talented so you were lowkey Shook™ and wanted to run away bc there’s no way that you can win against them?? but chengcheng wouldn’t let you

•when it was finally your turn, you were like !!!! the whole time you walked onto the stage. it’s not like you lacked confidence or anything, you were just nervous........cause y’kno......one of the judges was none other than THE ding zeren

•you’ve always watched him dance at festivals and you admired him a lot. not only did he have good as hECK looks, but he was such a skilled dancer

•but hey, you weren’t the only one admiring him. bc at one of the festivals, he was walking around w the dance team when he noticed you at your group’s stand selling snacks and his heart skipped a beat bc ?? you’re so beautiful ??? who are you ??? and before he could go to you, zzt pulled him away saying that they needed to prepare to perform soon. so today, he was determined to find out who you are and talk to you. but then he looked at your application form and was surprised bc ?? a pharmaceutical major?? joining the dance team???? everyone that auditioned so far were dance majors or fine arts majors. so as cute as you were, he was ready to complain to ting about how they’re gonna waste their time by watching your performance bc he really wasn’t expecting you to know how to dance, but no he froze the second you started moving. you were so graceful ??? and you controlled all of your movements so well. you hit every beat of the song and you gained more confidence as you danced

•soon, it was over and zeren over here was like :O

•so were all the other dance team members tbh

•cause, as yixing would’ve said, you had the balance

•they all unanimously agreed to recruit you

•after a couple more people performed, the dance members got together to choose the last person to join. then, zhengting came up on the stage. “thank you to all of you for showing your interest in joining our dance team!! you all are very talented, but sadly, we can only choose two members” he proceeded to give a little speech about how they shouldn’t give up even if they aren’t selected and that they should try again next time. when he finally announced the names, you were on the edge of your seat with your hand tightly holding chengcheng’s. “the first member we are accepting is.......zhou yanchen!” the auditorium erupted in applauds, and it took a few minutes for it to die down. “and the last member is....” you could only vaguely hear your name bc chengcheng immediately started screaming and jumped out of his seat. “I TOLD YOU THAT YOU’D MAKE IT I’M SO PROUD OF YOU” he’s such a precious kid i love him. lots of people were applauding for you too. you were still in shock when chengcheng shook you and nodded his head towards the stage, indicating you were supposed to be going up. you quickly stood up and nearly tripped as you made your way to the stage. you and yanchen bowed to the audience and judges before thanking them. the whole time, zeren couldn’t take his eyes off of you. he was awestruck by your talent and on top of that, you were gorgeous bro

•after auditions, chengcheng ran up onto the stage where you still stood, talking to yanchen. you saw him running up and expected him to go to you,, but nope he turned the opposite way and went up to zeren

•was he the friend that chengcheng was talking about??? THE ding zeren is friends with your idiot chengcheng?????? you were frozen as you stood there, staring at chengcheng and zeren speaking

•you only snapped out of it when zhengting came and started to tell you and yanchen more details about practice

•fast forward to a week later

•spring was coming !!! meaning that the spring festival was coming soon!! fun activities !!! cool performances !!!! gOoD fOoD !!!!!!!!

•so it’s been a decent amount of time since you were accepted, so you became fairly close with all of the members, especially yanchen and chengxiao. you and zeren only had small talk every now and then about the choreography, when practices were, or something stupid that chengcheng did recently

•anw back to the festival! the committee in charge of getting the festival ready decided bring back the romance concept. cause y’kno like flowers, love blossoms during the spring. i’m so poetic

•for the acts, you guys decided to send three groups to perform a medley of couple dances

•the pairings were chengxiao and zhengting, jieqiong and yanchen, and............you and zeren

•you were surprised when zhengting announced the pairings.........bc omg you were gonna dance with ding zeren..........to a couple song !!!!!!!!

•zhengting said the names were randomly chosen but he’s a liar he lowkey thought you two would look cute together but he totally wasn’t planning on telling anyone that. zeren was hoping you’d be his partner too tbh so the boy was thrilled to hear his name being called with yours. he’d been wanting to get to know you more but he never knew what to say or was too shy. but he managed to muster up the courage to ask if you were free that weekend to come up with a choreography

•you were super excited bro

•but had to come off chill so you were like oh,,,, yeah sure

•but on the inside you were screaming with joy

•when the weekend came, zeren knocked on your door. taking a deep breath, you checked your reflection in the mirror quickly before opening the door. you smiled and greeted him as he greeted you back, flashing a grin that exposed his dimples. your heart almost jumped out of your chest because wow he’s so adorable and good-looking??? he was dressed in sweatpants and a normal t-shirt.......but still....how can someone look so good???? you probably looked like a bum

•that’s not what zeren thought though. he thought you looked pretty with your hair tied up, a couple of loose strands framing your face. his gaze went down to your lips and noticed the shade of lipstick you applied was slightly lighter than what you usually had on before they quickly went back up to your eyes. neither of you realized you were just staring at each other until your roommate coughed, making you both flustered before zeren spoke up

•”oh, uh, ready to go?”

•“yeah! let’s go”

•so you both headed over to the practice room. it was kind of an awkward walk bc neither of you knew what to say nor have you been alone together. but halfway there, zeren decided to ask you something he’s been curious about

•“so...how come you’re not a dance major?”

•”ah...my parents didn’t want me to choose that. they wanted me to have a medical profession. it’s fine though, as long as they’re happy.”

•he noticed the hint of sadness in your voice as you said the last sentence, so he chose not to question you further. upon arriving at the practice room, you guys jumped right into it. first, you needed to choose a song. you and zeren looked through a list of songs prepared by ting and didn’t take long to settle with say you won’t let go by james arthur. as you listened to the song, your bodies flowed with the melody. but since this is a love song...........you had to be fairly intimate......and the thing is....... you were both flustered messes. you were either tripping over your own feet or you stepped onto each other’s feet. but overall, you guys were doing well, like you got most of what you needed down. so, you decided to call it a day and head back to your dorm rooms. as you were going back, you debated whether you should ask zeren to join you for dinner since it was already 7pm, but before you opened your mouth, zeren invited you to go to a restaurant with him. the restaurant that he took you to was relatively small and close to campus. as soon as you walked in, you were greeted by a warm aroma of freshly cooked noodles. an elderly woman, whom you assumed was the owner, cheerfully welcomed you in and led you to a table. she took your orders and before she left, she commented that this was the first time zeren came in with a girl and not his rowdy friends, causing zeren to groan and usher her to go away. she only smiled innocently before disappearing into the kitchen. shortly after, she came out with two bowls of noodles

•and it was love at first sight because they looked SO GOOD and after you finished drooling over the food, you tasted it and the taste was even better than its appearance like omg where has this restaurant been all my life. and as you ate your food, zeren started to ask you questions like “when did you start to dance?” and “why do you like to dance?” and once you gave your answers, he’d share his own answers before you asked him some questions

•and this went back and forth until both your bowls were empty. you could feel yourself opening up more with each question and the same thing goes for zeren. zeren hasn’t been able to feel this comfortable around someone that he wasn’t close to before. he really enjoyed being in your company and wished he had talked to you sooner afterwards, he walked you to your dorm before going to his own

•during the next couple of days, you and zeren spent more time together in the practice room (and quickly finished the choreo) and inevitably grew closer. as that happened, you started to notice that you’d see him around campus more often. one morning, you walked by his lecture room and saw him standing outside. you asked him why he didn’t go in and he answered that his teacher was late so he just waited outside. this continued every morning though like you’d see him just standing there on his phone or looking through a notebook, and when you walked by he’d always greet you with a smile and ask if you slept well or make some kind of small talk

•and you’d be lying if you said that wasn’t your favorite way to start your mornings

•he gave you coffee once saying that they messed up his order so he got another coffee for free but for some reason the “messed up” coffee was exactly how you liked your coffee so you were like ???

•other times, you’d pass by him on campus and he’d always wave enthusiastically with both hands no matter how far he was from you and honestly that’s just the cutest thing ever. or he would end the conversation with whoever he was talking to and then run over to you and ask where you were going next and he’d walk with you to your next class

•one morning, you walked by zeren’s class and didn’t see him. you thought that he must’ve just overslept, so you continued to your class. but afterwards, you still didn’t see him at the usual spots that he’d be hanging around, so you decided to call him, but he didn’t pick up. when you saw one of his friends walk by, you asked if he’s seen zeren but he said he hasn’t seen him since yesterday afternoon. worried, you decided to head over to his dorm to see if he was there. as you were walking to his dorm, it started to rain. you cursed under your breath as you began to run to the dormitory, but you still ended up getting soaked. upon arriving, you walked down the hallway, unsure which room was his. probably should’ve thought of that before coming but anw. as you continued down the hall, chengcheng came out of one of the rooms and saw you. “HEY, IT’S Y/N! wait, are you okay? you might catch a cold like that”

•”i’m fine! don’t worry. have you seen zeren? i haven’t seen him all morning and he wasn’t picking up my calls so i wanted to check if he was okay”

•”have you checked the library? he was having trouble sleeping last night so he went there”

•”oh, i’ll go there now. thanks” and you turned to leave but then started sneezing continuously. chengcheng took off his hoodie and threw it over your head

•”put that on. you’re already getting sick” and you thanked him again before pulling it over your head and going to the library. chengcheng just watched you leave and sighed. “they obviously like each other but they’re too dumb to realize it”

•when you got to the library, you went all around it but couldn’t find him. as you were leaving, you bumped into zhengting. you asked if he’s seen zeren, and he replied that zeren just woke up and is heading over to his class now. you were relieved to hear that he was okay, but now you were concerned about yourself because you were shivering and constantly sneezing. zhengting offered to take you to the infirmary or get some medicine for you bc he’s an angel but you declined and said that you should head to class now. anyways after all your classes were over, you went over to the practice room to rehearse. zeren came slightly later than the planned time, and you noticed that he wasn’t his usual upbeat self. like he greeted you half-heartedly and there was just a negative aura surrounding him. and you would’ve tried to cheer him up but you honestly had no stamina left like you really should’ve taken some medicine before coming

•and because of your lack of stamina, you began getting frustrated because you were constantly half a beat off. you could tell zeren was feeling frustrated too but he was trying to hold it in. but as soon as you stepped on his foot for the third time that day, he couldn’t control it anymore. “what’s wrong with you? why aren’t you putting any effort into this? is it because it’s not your major so you don’t care?” you would’ve been fine if he had only said the last sentence. but no his first sentences hit you hard, because memories of all the times that your parents said that to you came rushing back. you immediately grabbed your things and rushed out of the practice room, leaving zeren there alone. his frustration dissipated when he saw the upset expression on your face as you left. he let out a sigh as he went to the back of the room and sat down, leaning against the wall. not too long after you left, chengcheng came running in looking for you

•”where’s y/n??”

•“oh...she just left. why?”

•“i have some medicine for her cold. she was running all over the place looking for you even though it was pouring outside”

•and that’s when it hit him. you got sick while you were worrying about him, and yet you were trying your best to practice

•and he even yelled at you. feeling guilty, he grabbed the medicine from chengcheng and ran out of the practice room

•chengcheng just froze there and stared at his hand

•like bro what just happened

•zeren ran out of the performing arts building but then stopped. where could you have gone?? he contemplated calling you but he doubted you’d pick up. then, he remembered about the place you’d always go to when something upset you

•the rooftop

•the boy nearly flew up the stairs at the speed that he was running at. when he opened the door, he found you sitting with your back against the wall, one earbud in your ear, and your eyes closed. he took in a deep breath as he slowly approached you. you were slightly startled when you felt something nudge you, but relaxed when you saw it was zeren. “uh...hey. here’s your medicine”

•“oh, thanks”

•you were quiet as he explained, slowly starting to feel bad for storming out on him after how badly his day was going. you forgave him, saying that you understood why he acted that way after all that he went through before explaining exactly why you were upset by what he said. he listened attentively as you talked about your parents and all the expectations they had for you, and how they always dismissed it when you met those expectations, and how they were never supportive of you. he apologized again before pulling you into a hug, mumbling how he never meant to hurt you like that, or at all for that matter. you were surprised at first, but quickly returned the hug. zeren decided that there was no way that you could practice in this condition, so he took you back to your dorm. he came back not too long after leaving and brought you a bowl of noodle soup. you expected him to leave afterwards because you were more than thankful that he was that thoughtful, but no he invited himself in saying “my mom said that you should never leave a sick person alone so here i am. let’s watch a movie”

•and that’s how your roommate walked in to a sleeping you and zeren wrapped in a blanket and snuggling on the couch with hercules still playing and an empty bowl on the table

•she def took pictures for future references, and you were both embarrassed messes when she woke you up

•a couple days before the festival, you were completely well again and the three groups practiced together. everything went smoothly and you were all satisfied with how it went. on d-day, you were slightly nervous because this was the first time that you would be performing in front of such a hUGE crowd. but everyone in the dance team especially zeren reassured you that you would do great. after watching a couple of the performances, it was finally your group’s turn. the performance went so much better than you expected. like as soon as you stepped onto the stage, your nervousness melted away. the crowd loved the performance too like they were cheering louder than they did for the other ones

•so yeah!! spring fest performance was a big success, and zeren decided to ask you to go to disney to celebrate with him

•and of course you agreed

•and yanchen overheard him inviting you and he was like wow we used to be best buddies how could u leave me out

•unofficial date at disney!

part two

[gloomstudy]

11 (jk actually 33) questions tag!

rules: answer 11 questions, make 11 of your own, and tag another 11 people.

tagged by @piiess, @narglestudies, @orangeblossomstudies, and many many many others! i can’t find all the other ones that i was tagged in, but i know i was tagged in a bunch of them these past few months and i never got around to doing them ahhh i’m sorry ;; and hoooo boy, it’s been a while since the last time i’ve done a tag on here. hopefully answering these 33 questions will help you all get to know me a little better!

questions from pat:

1. who do you stan and why?

you guys already know that i stan bang chan from stray kids, so i’m gonna talk about someone else. i stan iu (lee jieun)! she’s so pure and gentle, and her vocals are so amazing and heavenly. she’s basically how i imagine what an angel sounds like. it would truly be an honor to meet her someday!

2. how are you today?

i’m alright! i got up kinda late today lol. not much has happened aside from eating breakfast and lunch, watching youtube videos, and setting up my queue for my blogs. now i’m answering these questions!

3. your regular order at the café?

i’ve actually never been to a cafe before, but i’ve been to a few boba places! i either get an ice cream green tea, or a matcha latte. for both, i get 50% sugar, no ice (the drink is usually already cold), boba, and soymilk if it’s available.

4. mint ice cream, yay or nay?

yay, if it’s made well.

5. recommend a place to visit if i were to travel to your state/country?

aside from disneyland, uhhh...come visit my school? ahaha idk. i’d be happy to be your tour guide! afterwards, we can go to daiso since it’s only 2 blocks away from campus, hehe. ^_^

6. favorite prompts/au?

flower shop au will always be my most favorite au and the most wholesome au. i dare you to fight me on this. jk pls don’t actually fight me.

7. top 3 otp’s and brotp’s?

otp’s: scira (teen wolf), finnrey (star wars), gallya (the man from uncle)

brotp’s: changlix (stray kids), woochan (stray kids), iwaoi (haikyuu!!)

8. have you ever visited a dog/cat/animal café? if not, would you like to?

no, i have not. yes, i would love to! there’s this shiba cafe in japan that i really wanna visit someday. :’)

9. opinion about minimalism?

it’s good, and i’m slowly working towards it. you can probably tell in my original content that i usually like to keep things pretty simple and minimal!

10. how is your workspace like?

the other day, i had 5 bottles on my desk with varying levels of water lmao. but now i’ve cleaned them out and put them away, and now my desk is pretty clean and organized! i wanna change up the photos on my wall, though.

11. if you had a superpower/magic, what would it be? and would you become a hero, a villain, or a normal person who use their power in daily life (like… you had magic and you use that to do your housework or sth bc you’re too lazy lol)

i’d like to be able to freeze time! i’m not sure how it would be useful as a hero, so i’d probably stay as a normal person and use it in my daily life. i’d like to have more time to get things done, ahaha.

questions from esther:

1. hogwarts house? (if you haven’t been sorted, describe yourself in 3 words)

hufflepuff!

2. harry potter, percy jackson, lotr, or asoiaf / game of thrones?

percy jackson.

3. favorite book genre? (e.g. fantasy, mystery, romance, etc.)

dystopian, or sci-fi.

4. top travel destination?

someone pls drag me to japan or south korea.

5. your happiest moment this month?

hanging out with my brother at a museum, followed by dragging him with me to muji and buying new stationery, followed by getting milk tea + boba and walking around in a mall. it was a good day. ^_^

6. favorite summer activity?

swimming!

7. how do you stay productive during the summer?

this summer, i’m studying for the gre, picking up japanese again, and practicing violin for my upcoming audition in august. and of course, i’m also working on some new living room sessions, which will be posted soon!

8. an interesting fact about yourself?

i used to do ballet, tap dancing, and gymnastics! unfortunately, now i’m no longer as flexible as i used to be ;;

9. tea or coffee?

tea~

10. favorite food?

sushi!!

11. crazy fast and loopy rollercoasters - yes or no?

YES ABSOLUTELY, but i haven’t been on one in a while.

questions from micky:

1. what’s your favorite flower?

hydrangea!

2. are you currently reading a book? if so, which one?

no :( i haven’t read a book for leisure in a while. i’d like to get into all for the game, though!

3. what’s one goal you have for the coming school year?

stop procrastinating on writing papers lol.

4. what do you do on rainy days?

stay indoors, listen to lo-fi hip-hop, mindlessly scroll through tumblr, watch youtube videos and anime, and drink a hot cup of tea.

5. what’s a habit you can’t stand?

people who chew with their mouths open :/

6. what’s your favorite genre of book or movie?

dystopian and action!

7. what’s the best thing that happened to you last week?

watching the fireworks on the 4th of july!

8. what’s something you are self-conscious about?

my skin :/

9. what are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

being done with school, and hopefully achieving some of my goals!!

10. what stereotype do you completely live up to?

a musician who wears black often lol. i own more blue jeans than black jeans, but i wear my black jeans more often since they go with everything! also, my raincoat and the majority of my winter coats are black, ahaha.

11. who inspires you to be better?

family, friends, and you guys!!

my 11 questions for you!

what’s your aesthetic?

which city in the world would you choose to describe yourself and why?

what kind of music do you like to listen to?

what did you have for breakfast today?

what song has been stuck in your head lately?

if you could live in any movie or tv show, which would you choose?

do you play an instrument? which one(s)? if not, which instrument would you like to learn how to play?

quick! name the first meme that comes to mind.

what’s your best piece of life advice?

who are some people you look up to?

are you having a good day today? (if not, i hope it gets better, and tomorrow is another chance to try again!)

tagging: @lavietudier, @ceesdesk, @adelinestudiess, @jynsdesk, @diaryofastemstudent, @ryustudies, @studytune, @moonshinestudies, @hannybstudies, @pltuo, @ahsteria, and anyone else who wants to do this! (sorry if you’ve already done this, and you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!)

[beihonglin]

boyfriend!yanchen??

okay mare @hynjaes listen hear me out consider this:

would probably meet at a club recruitment thing???? or also through friends

you being friends w xingjie bc y’all both music business majors

xingjie: “wait i know this is meant to be a meeting for our project but uh my friend is Lonely and Whiny can he come sit with us for a while just so he stops blowing up my phone??”

you: “uh i guess????”

and a literal God waltzes up to your table like 2 seconds later bc he was just waiting on xingjie to text him back

you: ?????

yanchen: smiles !! bc he Knows that that’s his most Powerful Move to Charm Someone

also yanchen: smile falters like 0.2 seconds later bc you’re blinking and Not Smiling Back like most people do

i mean it’s also bc you’re sort of startled by the speed & the fact that you’re staring at the actual sun but he doesn’t know that

xingjie telling yanchen to shut up bc y’all really need to focus and get this done by next week

yanchen: okay :(

but good for him tbh bc he spends half the time chin in hand staring at you and listening to you and xingjie discuss the project

yanchen, afterwards to xingjie: “but okay uh do you have any other meetings with her or???”

xingjie, in slight disbelief:

save huba from his kids 2k18

alternatively: u tabling for your club and him taking one look at you and deciding that yes, he is Truly Interested in the Physics Behind Hockey, can u tell him more?

okay this got too long i’m shuffling this under a read more 

huba texting you that he’s gonna be late to his next meeting w u!!

you: “it’s ok!! i’ll just wait in the cafe on campus :)”

and who do u see????

mr zhou yanchen

sitting in a blazer and a dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up his forearms & staring at his phone like his life depends on it

him feeling someone’s eyes on him and looking up

him seeing you and !!!! beaming !!!!!! and waving !!!!! you over to sit with him

you asking him about why he looked so worried before

him laughing nervously and saying he just finished an audition?? and now his phone is open to the messages they’ve sent him and it shows that they’re typing something but they’ve been typing for the past 3 minutes and he’s just ??? rly worried as to why they’re typing so early after the audition and why they’re typing for so long and what they could possibly say and damn maybe what if they just really don’t want him and it’s a rejection and-

you smacking him slightly on the arm bc ??? u’ve never heard him sing / seen him dance before but you’re confident he did well

also he’s rly cute and they’re stupid if they reject him

and if anything they probs just sat on their phone and now the space bar is going Off

yanchen calming down a little and staring at you in awe bc logical thinking??? never heard of her until he met u

wait

wait did u just

did u just call him cute

yanchen: :D

whoops yeah u thought he was cute before??? now that he’s laughing??? down the rabbit hole you go

me: throws my heart at yanchen take it take my soul

u running into him again in the study lounge one day

and he has his glasses on and he’s dozing off and his pen is slipping out of his hand

and he just ??? looks so soft ???? in an oversized red hoodie???

your heart: !!!!!!!!!!

but also the only space left in the study lounge is the seat across him so r i p

you pulling out the chair as quietly as you can but the movement wakes him up

yanchen blinking sleepily ??? the cutest softest boy???? and smiling when he realises it’s u

you starting your homework and it’s all peaceful and quiet until u notice a piece of paper stuck in the book in front of you

you looking up and seeing yanchen beam at you before picking his backpack up and rushing off

you: ????

u picking the piece of paper up ??

his phone number + “dinner tomorrow?”

him coming to pick you up for dinner after he finishes dance practice???

tank top = arms

flannel in hand and backpack slung over one shoulder

him sliding into the study lounge and immediately half the room looks up bc ?? a god ???/

him standing in front of the table until you look up

!!!! sunshine smile !!!!!

him jerking his head to the door and asking you if you’re ready to leave

hell yeah you are

cute dates!!

to cafes bc he loves sharing cakes!! but u don’t like cakes so he eats it all and his cheeks puff out :--(

to the park so he can take aesthetic pictures of u but u end up taking more of him anyway he’s beautiful

sometimes u laze at home but u get cute photos anyway

this picture??? ur wallpaper bc he’s king of ur heart

snaps throughout the day !!!!!

combination of “LOOK DOG” and “i hate this class” and “when are you done :(“

also “hi i’m outside your classroom” + “why aren’t you opening my snaps” + “wait yeah you’re in class sorry”

won’t admit it but slightly clingy !!

he’s also the kind to be really 贴心 & would pay attention to the small things you say???

you, once: “i kinda like flowers,,,”

yanchen, two days later with a list of outdoor cafes:

you: “u look rly cute in pink ;u;”

yanchen: suddenly only has pink in his closet

bitch u know what i made this to make u suffer but i cried looking at photos of him

[justlistenuniverse]

Jaylos Headcanon #1

Headcanon where Carlos wants to be a cheerleader - but in Auradon you can't be one when you are not a girl

So he asks Evie for help and they dress him up as a girl (after she said he should just talk to Ben and make it happen that way but Carlos thinks that he has to dress up for some reason)

So he dresses up as "Carly" and auditions for the Cheer Squad and the Cheer Coach Phoebe is baffled at how good that new girl is

The other girls quickly grow to like Carly since she's surprisingly strong and super flexy and she was born for flips

Audrey is first a bit bitchy but she also grows to like Carly and soon the two of them become quite close as they help each other with routines and talk about school and boys

Carlos loves all of it, even the talks with Audrey (she's surprisingly sweet and tough and he likes her), but it's getting hard to hide from Jay (who still buys the "I'm learning" "I've got a project" "I'm going to the library" excuses but he is not dumb, he'll notice!)

Plus Jay, Carlo's long-time crush, best friend, and roomie, starts to flirt with Carly and at night, when Carlos is doing his homework and Jay is laying on his bed, Jay tells Carlos about how great Carly is and how cute and yes, the boy got a crush on Carlos' female identity. How bad is that?

Meanwhile, Audrey starts to develop a crush on Carly too

When she asks her out though Carlos breaks and tells her that he is Carlos and not Carly and that there is no Carly. And he also tells her that he is most certainly gay.

Audrey gets super angry and she's so hurt and storms off but then she thinks that it all adds up now. how Carly just disappeared into thin air whenever practice is over and all the girls walk to the locker rooms and that she always skipped girl's night with some lame excuses and Carlos was still so sweet to her and never made fun of her and she will probably miss him as a friend

So she walks to the boy's dorm and knocks and when Jay opens the door she smiles and asks if Carlos is there and if she could talk to him

Carlos is so shy and silent when they walk through the school that it hurts. But when Audrey tells him that yeah, she's hurt and it was a super dumb action of him, she will help him out. Because she likes him as a friend and he's unbelievable good at cheerleading and she knows about that stupid "no male cheerleader" rule which she still doesn't get

They also talk about Audrey's new found orientation and why she doesn't need to hide it and how Carlos grew to be comfortable with his sexuality. Audrey happens to be less insecure than he was when he noticed but she's still not ready to tell anyone else (she might have a late-night phone call with her mom though)

The next day, Carlos Evie and Audrey can be seen sitting around a table at lunch, talking and laughing and pointing to some of Evie's sketches for something

But even with Audrey's help, Jay and Mal start to get suspicious

Carlos is always disappearing, appears to be super sweaty when he finally enters his and Jay's room, never attends any Tourney games anymore (which bugs Jay more than he'd like to admit) and since when is he good friends with Audrey of all people?

Mal finally confronts Carlos when he's coming from practice (in sweatpants and a loose shirt but still drenched in sweat bc he never showers with the girls), chatting to Audrey (who's all clean but in soft clothes because it's the evening and after practice and that's her new best friend next to her) and he tells her everything, even making Evie show Mal the Cheerleading costumes and the wig she's created for him

Mal tells him that he needs to come clean because he can't play a double-game any longer. People will start to notice that Carly is never in any classes and they already started asking her if she's related to Carlos since they both look so alike

A week later, the finale Tourney game of the season starts and Auradon is playing their hardest enemy yet and the boys are nervous as fuck

When they walk out the first thing they see is the fans and then the cheerleaders and that's when Jay does a double take because is that Carlos in a male cheerleader uniform doing flips with Audrey?

Carlos sees Jay stare (and with him half of the team and most of the students including the other team) and just smiles and waves and prays that Jay won't be angry

It's a tense game and Carlos does his best to cheer for his team, performing really cool looking routines with his girls whom he talked to before the game (they were all a bit angry and weirded out but when Audrey talked to them about how Carlos never entered the locker room and never touched them in a sexual way they calmed down)

But during half-time [is there a half time? I don't know], one of the other players makes a loud and more than rude comment about Carlos as a male cheerleader and how Auradon only has fags around and everyone loses it

Audrey is yelling at the guy, telling him to back off her squad or she'll forget her good manners while half the team is trying to hold back Jay but when the guy shoves Audrey they let the thief free, watching as he barrels into the other man

but then there's Carlos. Small, ordinary, genius Carlos, stepping in between the boys, making Jay immediately stop (because hurting Carlos? not an option) and hissing at the other boy to get lost or he'll show him what a fag like him can do to a prince who has muscles but doesn't know how to use them

Coach tells the Auradon boys to calm Jay down while the coach of the other team yells at his boys for being intolerant immature assholes

When the second half starts Carlos is still on the cheer squad after Fairy Godmother and Ben decided that the gender is so not important

And when they win he makes sure to wink at the guy that pushed his friend, hurt Jay and bullied him (the guy turns white immediately and leaves the field)

At the party they throw for winning the championship Carlos watches as Jane womans up and asks Audrey to dance (and he also catches them making on the balcony later on)(he might also show his girl a thumbs up when she beams at him) when Jay walks up

"Should've known it was you."

Carlos laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, you should have. But you didn't, which is okay by the way. I am awesome at playing a game like this."

Silence. Carlos sipped at his punch while Jay tried to muster up the courage to say what he really wanted to say.

"So... would you like to, maybe, like, go on a date with me?"

Carlos nearly spits out his punch. He stared at Jay with huge brown eyes, not believing what he just heard. But there he was, his best friend, his long-time crush whom he might even love, looking amazing in a dark red waistcoat and black skinny jeans and with a hopeful look in his eyes that couldn't be an imagination.

"But... I'm not Carly."

"Yeah, well..." Jay blushed and rubbed his neck with that adorable little smile he always got when he turned a bit insecure. "Maybe the reason that I flirted with Carly was that she looked like you. And that I fell for Carlos long before I fell for Carly but thought I wouldn't stand a chance with you."

Carlos spends the rest of the evening dancing with his might-be-boyfriend. And when Jay has to go for some weird winner ritual the auradon tourney team has, Carlos dances with Audrey and Evie and Mal and all his girls, having the night of his life.

Bonus:

Carlos being fiercely protective of his Squad, even back when he was still Carly

Audrey randomly walking into the boy's dorm to talk with Carlos. They spend hours on his bed, both in soft clothes, talking about everything. Some weeks into their habit, Evie joins them. It's never too girly but Carlos can be talked into painting nails (never his own though) and he has a great fashion sense. Jay mostly spends those nights with Mal who welcomes that change into her life. It gets boring being a princess all the time and if there's a better way to get rid of that boredom than climbing up to the roof and talking to her best friend or planning pranks, she hasn't found it yet.

Everyone, even Chad, telling Carlos that he looked damn good in that skirt (he knows)

Ben lifting the gender-specific rules around the school and suddenly there are more boys trying out for the cheerleaders, a mixed R.O.A.R. Team and girls who even try out for Tourney (Coach ends up letting Mal in because with her and Jay playing together? No one will be able to beat them)

[jejublr]

Seatmate!Hoshi

A/N: Anon and Cinderella Anon requested for Seatmate!Hoshi this time! I’m sorry I haven’t been updating bc of school but I have my drafts saved so don’t worry! I’m still writing! To those who are back at school, I hope you guys are doing great! To those still on summer vacation (and to all of you in general): STAY HYDRATED!!!

This one was really fun to write because, let’s be honest, Kwon Soonyoung is everybody’s bias wrecker. Even if you don’t have him as a bias, he’s somewhere lurking on the top of your bias lists don’t lie to me. This one’s a long one so I hope you all enjoy and have a great day~! ^^

How do I start with this guy

Calls himself 10:10 because of his slanted eyes cute

This kid is also pretty hyper ok

Once got into detention because he randomly stood up on his desk in the middle of a lesson to shout “IT’S 10:10″ when the clock strikes 

Often has random dance offs with Junior!Seokmin and it’s the most hilarious thing to watch

Has a lot of friends from every grade because he’s so fun to be around

Cares a lot about his underclassmen and is the one of the nicest upperclassmen around

Everybody knows Soonyoung’s really good at dancing

And I mean, real good

He even has his own YouTube channel NaegaHosh where he dances his own choreos to pop songs

Most people at school follows him and even the teachers stalk his videos lol

Soonyoung is basically in everyone’s good book

Well, everyone’s but yours

You see, you’re childhood rivals

You can say you’re a pretty chill person

You have your own group of friends you usually hang out with but you’re on good terms with people in general

Nobody can deny that you’re an equally talented dancer

You may have a different style from Soonyoung but your dancing is just as captivating as his

While Soonyoung’s style is leaning towards breakdance, you style leans towards contemporary ballet

And it gets pretty heated and entertaining to see you both try out-do each other during the end of year talent shows

For few years in a row, the winner would either be you or Soonyoung

Usually you guys take turns

People are so tired of it tbh

“Just kiss already.”

Your friends like to tease you that your resentment is just internalized crush

But you’re in deniaaallll /guitar rift/

Anyways, you decided early on into the year that you will beat Soonyoung once and for all by winning for the second consecutive year

The story starts in the early morning of your Junior year in high school

So the system in your school was they always pick people randomly to be put into a new class every year

So you can be friends with everyone

And guess what? 

You’re in Soonyoung’s class

For the second consecutive year

People were groaning internally because here we go again

Being in the same class with you both was like being in a real-life drama

Because everybody knows you’re childhood rivals

And imagine the tension of sitting behind two people who are always ready to rip each other to shreds

The teacher was aware of this and tired of this s*** so she decided to sit you guys together this year

What was she thinking lmao

You guys might wonder the backstory behind this age-long rivalry

It began once upon a kindergarten

You never really had any beef with Soonyoung

He’s pretty hyper as a kid; got his hair stuck up everywhere and always the one to break it down on the ol’ kindergarten dance floor

Ok dark secret here; but you had a crush on Soonyoung back then bc he reminds you so much of your hamster Cici omggg

You let him steal your sandwich and borrow your color pencil during art as a result of this crush

This crush went on until that time in second grade when your school held Nutcracker 

And he totally stole your role as the Nutcracker bc you were sick during the dress rehearsal

By the time you got better the night before the show, they had given the role to Soonyoung

So you got stuck playing a candy cane tragic

IMAGINE THE BETRAYAL

That night marked the day you got your first heartbreak and sworn to make Kwon Soonyoung pay one day

Yeah, you’re a pretty dramatic bitter child and you continue to carry that bitterness up till this day

Anyways

It’s that time of the year again

Tension is in the air, looks shared between people

It’s the annual talent show

People are sharing nervous glances bc when are they finally gonna lose it

And by “they”, they meant you and Soonyoung

When you saw the form pinned on the bulletin board this morning, you never wrote your name faster

But guess what? By lunchtime, Soonyoung already had his name scribbled under yours

It’s officially on

“Watch your back, Kwon.”

“Good luck.”

Funnily, you were both dragged into the principal’s office by the time school’s out

“This year, you won’t be participating” the principal said

“What.”

“People are getting discouraged signing up for the auditions bc they know that in the end, the winner would only be between the both of you. That’s why I decided to remove you both from the competition this year.

“And no, Soonyoung, if you think you’re entitled just because your internet name Hoshi means star, you can find your way out.”

You were about to snicker when she went “Y/N, you will not find it funny when I tell you that you two will work together to create and perform a dance to be showcased during the talentshow. While you’re not participating, you and Soonyoung both

You went 0_0 w hat

“I’m not going to work with them!” both you and Sonyoung said in unison

The teacher was like “lmao get over it kids, it’s 2K17″ and then sauntered off like a bo$$

You realized you didn’t have a choice but to do as she said to be able to perform this year

And you see no point to arguing

So you both begrudgingly agreed to do the collab

At first, you and Soonyoung wouldn’t meet in the middle

You try to find faults in each other’s dancing, to 

You ended up trying to sabotage yourselves

Also, you still didn't have the right music to dance with so you and Soonyoung were a complete wreck

Also bc you kept arguing which song to pick smh

It came to a point that one day, Soonyoung went up to Senior!Jihoon 

“Hey, can you whip up some swaggy beats for my performance for the talent show?”

“Tell me a reason why I shouldn’t hit you with a guitar right now.”

“I’ll buy you a burger.”

“I can buy a burger.”

“I’ll buy you a hundred burgers.”

“Deal.”

So that’s how Soonyoung had gotten himself the perfect remix for the dance the next Monday

When you listened to it for the first time, you knew, it’s perfect

Because somehow, Jihoon was able to mesh songs to create one that would work perfectly with you and Soonyoung’s style

And so you two began to work

And you couldn’t help but observe Soonyoung as he worked 

Because you’ve never seen someone do something so passionately

Soonyoung gave his all in his dance and it’s something everybody can see

Watching Soonyoung work his magic woke up something in you

Funnily, you don’t feel intimidated at all

For once, you embraced the fact that you now work with Soonyoung, not against him

So you ended up enjoying it a bit

So you’re finally done with the last steps of planning the choreography

It’s time for you to test it out for yourselves

So you played the music and danced

And you both had gotten so wrapped up in the music and with each other that when the music ended in a crescendo, you suddenly found yourself tangled in his arms

And you were so close in each others arms and he could see the specks in your eyes and suddenly he could feel his breath hitch 

Because Oh no, you’re actually really attractive. How could he not see this?

And all of the sudden, he became hyper aware of how close you both are, his hands on your hips and your warm breaths mingling

It wasn’t until you pulled away that he went woah

Because what was that???

You on the other hand

You tried to play it cool, but inside?? 

You can’t deny you and Soonyoung have a tension chemistry 

But God forbid if your age-old crush was revived 

You thought it was the time you spent together that drew you closer

I mean, you meet the guy in class then spend the rest of the afternoon choreographing and dancing with him

You’d expect yourself to be at each other’s throats 

But you grew comfortable with his presence???

It’s like you started to care about each other

You never really showed it but it’s there

Like that time it was raining by the time you both finished

You had forgotten to bring your umbrella and he basically forced you to use his instead as he dove right into the rain

(The next day you gave it back to him with a small thank you note slipped inside)

He thought it was cute

And that other time when you noticed he looked rather pale and tired

So when you went to the convenient store near the school on your break, you bought him an extra carton of milk and bread

He looked confused as heck when you gave it to him

“I don’t want you to collapse a week before the show, Kwon.”

You totally didn’t blush

You also noticed the change in Soonyoung’s behavior 

When you caught him starring at you in class one day, you were like “What are you looking at, nerd?”

He said “Your hair looks nice today.”

“My hair looks nice everyday, thank.”

And while he didn't say anything in return, you swear you heard him whisper “Yeah it does.”

It’s so confusing bc what’s happening? Why is he suddenly like this? Does he..like me????

And while it’s a nice change from having to bicker everyday, you started to wonder what happened that triggered this change

Bc this is not the standard Soonyoung behavior

Also maybe bc you miss the bickering a little bit

But practice went on like usual

Before you know it, it’s the day of the show

Everyone’s freaking out

And you were too bc this reminded you too much of the first time you performed on stage

The adrenaline and the nervousness coiled in your stomach like a snake strangling its prey

In a way, this does count as your first dance

Your first time dancing with a partner

Your heart skipped a bit when you saw him in the dressing room, made up and dressed in all black

And you stopped in your track bc he looked good

You missed the look he gave you as he scanned you head to toe

He had to stop himself from blushing bc oh my god it’s happening, he’s going to dance with this attractive person

He must’ve sensed your nervousness bc he turned to you

“Hey, don’t sweat it. You’ll do great. I promise.”

Those little words gave you a boost

You can say it’s like his way of saying “good luck”

But who needs luck when you got Kwon Soonyoung amirite

The stage dimmed and it’s just Soonyoung and you and the music

Your body seemed to move on its own, giving up all control to muscle memory and to Soonyoung

You memorized the routine like the back of your hand

Soonyoung’s touches and your eyes teasing, almost sensual, writing a story only the two of you knew

And to say that you wow-ed the audience was an understatement

You bombed the place

You were so in tune with both the song and with each other that what was supposed to be a three-minute dance felt like mere seconds

Before you know it, the song was over, you’re in his arms and you’re both breathing hard

It just felt..fleeting

The show was easily a success

Nobody thought you would work so well together after all those years of rivalry

But it just proves how two great dancers could overcome boundaries if they had enough will

Your friends and family crowded you when the show was over,

They went to congratulate you and tell you how amazing the performance was

But you could only think about Soonyoung

You wanted to thank him for the hard work he’s put into the performance and for all the times he took care of you

You tried to swallow the sinking feeling realizing that it’s over now

You’ll go back to your live before the dance and he’ll go back to his

As the tension was revolved by the time you spent working together on the dance, you knew there was no more reason for you to start something against him

Because you’ve grown so accustomed to him, and him to you

It’s like a routine you couldn’t shake off

It was at that moment that you realized you liked having Soonyoung around

Speaking of Soonyoung

You found him propped up on the edge of the stage, the lights from the projector up in the projector room far ahead in the the auditorium casting white light on him, his silhouette a giant background on the stage

Your silhouette joined his as you plopped down next to him

“What are you doing?” you asked him

“I like sitting along in a theater like this. Makes you feel small.”

“I had fun” you admitted

His lips quirked into a lopsided smile, his bunny teeth showing

“I had fun, too.”

You joined in as you took in the view

How the place seems so vast with the empty red velvet seats

“Hey, Y/N.. about that Nutcracker incident?” Soonyoung started

“What about it?”

“Can I pay you back with a kiss??”

FFFF WOT

And you expected him to suddenly say “SIKE.” and for someone to jump out of the curtains with a camera but it didn’t come

Instead, Soonyoung was looking at you with what seems to be apprehensiveness 

And the realization hit you like a truck

Bc he literally just asked you if he could kiss you to make up to all that childhood bitterness

At this point, Soonyoung looked ready to apologize and disappear from the face of the earth but before anything

You dove in like a hawk

You didn’t know what to expect when your lips finally locked but the kiss was chaste, almost shy even

The kiss felt like your dance; brief, fleeting, teasing

But it brought a certain fulfillment in your heart

When you pulled away, Soonyoung’s cheeks were colored red and he couldn’t stop smiling

“Oh. Oh.”

“What??” you feel yourself heat up in embarrassment 

“...Can I kiss you again??”

“Oh my god.”

So at the end of that night, Soonyoung walked you home, with your pasts melting off like candy with every step that you take and laughter that you shared

And in the end, the kid who once stole your sandwich and role in that grade school musical ended stealing your heart, too

[xheerafmd]

countdown to 24: selected days from the 30 days of character development meme

day one. introduce your muse 

kwon heera, born heera marie kwon, is the lead vocal and lead dancer of gold star media’s girl group DIARY. she has also become known for her roles in tv dramas. 

day two. talk about your muse’s childhood 

heera’s upbring was all over the place. she was born whilst her parents were on vacation to france. she spent her first few years near the palo alto area, where her parents had settled years earlier, and then moved to a permanent home in beverly hills. she also visited her mother’s hometown of seogwipo, jeju & seoul quite often. growing up, quite literally, next door to hollywood stars she always dreamt of being an actress. she quickly saw the flaw in this. one, she lacked the visuals to really make it in hollywood. two, there weren’t many people who looked like her on the big screen. three, her parents weren’t very supportive of this dream. thus her dream of becoming an actress was shelved. she realized she wanted to be an idol the day of her first plastic surgery. she wanted the fame, and she thought being an idol would be an easy way to receive love. it wasn’t until much later that she realized her dream of becoming an actress could come true as well. 

day three. takes us back to when your muse was either recruited or auditioned to become an idol? 

heera can remember that summer day in 2010 as if it was yesterday. she had just gotten back to seoul from namhae. since her body was still recovering from the latest surgery she had taken a train, the trip had lasted five hours and she was exhausted. instead of going straight to bed, her cousin took her out to eat. it was there, somewhere in itaewon, that a scout from bc ent. stopped and gave her a card. heera had already planned to audition to the company so she’d seen the scout a sign that this was her destiny. the audition was nerve wrecking to say the least. heera had never taken a dance class in her life, much less a vocal class. she practiced for a couple weeks before attending an audition. she sung tear drops in the morning by gold star soloist 1. if she were to give her past self some advice it would be to not audition at all. to walk out of that room and go back home to california, finish high school, and enroll in university like her father wanted. 

day four. remember the trainee days? 

the first year of training was crazy. she had never lived in korea for more than a month or two at a time and getting used to the culture was difficult. she worried a lot about being seen as an outsider. thankfully there were other trainees who spoke english and she mostly clung to them. school was difficult too, heera was supposed to start her senior year in 2010 and she ended up using tutors to finish high school. while in bc she worried everyday about not being able to debut soon. bee had debuted just that year after all. when she didn’t make it into lipstick’s lineup she saw it as a sign to not renew her contract with the company and moved to gold star. the change was shocking and abrupt and her time as a gold star trainee is hardly a time she likes to remember.

day five. recall your muse’s debut

DIARY’s debut now feels like the distant past. after releasing pre-debut singles she had already gotten a taste of fame. but nothing would prepare her for the hectic schedule that would come with piano man. as far as her thoughts on the concept and such...heera didn’t hate it. she wasn’t thrilled with the group’s concept at first, she worried people wouldn’t be into it, but she grew to like it.

day eight. talk about your muse’s strengths and weaknesses as an idol 

perhaps it is due to her time under bc or her upbringing in the company of socialites and business tycoons but heera is good when it comes to image management. she has great control of her expressions and never lets her guard down in public. thus she’s been able to escape any scandals, both public and within the industry, and has maintained a clean image. she’s also not greedy when it comes to her vocals or dancing. she plays her role and hones her abilities without worrying about others. however, she’s often seen as boring and detached on variety shows (if they only heard her bad puns). she’s very slow when it comes to learning new things. whether it’s a new choreo or song, it usually takes her a while to learn and sometimes she forgets (this mostly happens with choreos...she’ll be in the middle of a song and then ??? 

day nine. what is your muse’s fashion style?

heera is girly, she loves feminine styles, but she’s also a total gym rat. her closet is divided between white and peach toned dresses & monochrome workout clothes. she refuses to sacrifice comfort for fashion. most of her clothes are oversized or made to stretch. as far as colors go, she prefers to stick to solid colored clothing rather than anything too adventurous. she isn’t a fan of shopping and most of her clothing is picked by diary’s stylist or her mother’s assistant. in the rare case that she does shop she likes low classic and off-white.

day twenty-two. talk about your muse’s goals that they have for their group

she wants to see DIARY debut overseas, perhaps in japan. as far as heera is concerned DIARY is just beginning. they’ve received a lot of love but in the past year or so it hasn’t felt as though they’ve made much of an impact. she’d like to see them achieve a bit more before branching off into solo projects. 

day twenty-six. does your muse ever regret becoming an idol?

on a daily basis. heera isn’t unhappy with her life per se, but she does believe her life would’ve been even better if she hadn’t become an idol. her main problem being the fact that she did it for all the wrong reasons. slowly but surely she’s realizing that she chose this life on a whim. she’d always had everything she wanted, there was little money couldn’t buy, and fame was simply another want rather than a dream. she knows this line of work isn’t something she can be in forever and wonders if she’s wasting her time. perhaps she should be learning about the family business or attending university instead of filming dramas and performing.

day twenty-eight. talk about your muse’s low point in life

i don’t think heera has hit the lowest point in her life yet. she was definitely at a bad place before she had surgery and became a trainee, but she’s yet to experience real pain. i believe the lowest point in her life will be whenever she’s held accountable for everything she’s done to herself. both to her body and her mental health. 

day twenty-nine. talk about your muse’s most meaningful moment as an idol

DIARY’s first fan-meeting. it was the moment that it all began to feel real. the fact that she had debuted, that her hard work payed off, was enough to make her cry. she’s never ever cried again in public.

day thirty. think about your muse’s life down the road

i believe heera’s journey is far longer than anything i could imagine. i don’t believe there’ll be a satisfying ending to her story (unless i play her until she’s 35) because she still has so much to learn. in the near future i do see her becoming more self aware and willing to fix some of her vices. romance-wise she is in a horrible state atm and i don’t see her having a happy stable relationship until much later in her life. and career-wise i do see her becoming even more involved in films and tv (tbh i could see heera running a company in her early 40s and turning into a lil kim byungchul because running a business is in her blood)

[fmchiwon]

hello babies !!! i’m jin and this is the loml ryu chiwon aka c.won ( nineteen, model / child actor, elite’s lead dancer & vocal, and the sweetest boy to ever exist ) nD I RLY SHOULDN’T BE JOINING bc school n exams are a goddamn mess thnx ***………..but i still love u dw anw i’m here and i’m super hyped!!! u can find me on discord or twt (u can ask me for either!!) but i’ll mostly be on the im’s jsghfhdj . like this post pls and i’ll (v eagerly) come to you to plot!!! meanwhile u can find chiwon’s bio here and plots here (wip!) for ur viewing pleasure but w/o further ado here is some stuff abt him under the cut!

#1

just clearing stuff up bc his bio wasn’t that explicit and detailed! 

has been in the industry since he was five unfortunately n started out as a child model / actor

his family wasn’t that well-off but his parents had big dreams!!!! big hopes!!!! just……. not for themselves but for him…… mostly bc they missed their chance to shine a long time ago so now they’re projecting their aspirations onto him aka using him as an outlet to fulfil their dreams smh

he signed on with hjh ent at first but he found it so ?? stifling ???? esp since he had to grow up under the limelight and it was altogether just Tiring

modelling n stuff rlly took a toll on him bc he was expected to manage himself even at a young age and it stressed him out ??? ? ? ? so much, altho he got to hang out w the #starz but yea not enough compensation

it was kinda expected that along the way he discovered a passion for dance?? like i mean he was surrounded by idols…. and he often skipped modelling / acting lessons just to watch the sunbaes in the practice rooms

so he was more than happy when his contract was set to expire when he was 15,, he got the fuck out of that hellhole even tho his mom disapproved

their relationship has been tense ever since, mostly bc they lost their main source of income and she doesnt rly talk to him unless for him to send money back to their family

kinda has beef with hjh now, doesn’t make a habit of associating w them much. as a result, there have been like…….. wild rumors abt his absence and leave from the company

but in aug/sept of 2012, he secretly went for an audition that worldwide media was having, and entered as a trainee in october with dance

yeh now he’s here anxiously waiting for elite’s debut

#2

if u knew him, u’d be surprised at how much on-camera chiwon = off-camera chiwon

the only difference that on camera chiwon is calmer and kinda intimidating bc his stage presence is off the charts?? 

but his smile is one of the first things people notice simply bc of how prominent and bright it is, n he’s vvvvv charismatic and always makes u feel like the most important person in the world whenever he talks to u bc he focuses all his attention on u

he’s literally always the epitome of bubbly and affable, whether u know him personally or not!! v playful friendly and energetic and always tries to see the best in people, it’s almost to the point which it’s unrealistic

never seen without a smile on his face, he always has enough love to go around. constantly the moodmaker!!! he’s super perceptive to his surroundings so once he senses the atmosphere going down he’s immediately there to bring it up

doesn’t seem forced at all, 100% genuine and ppl actually doubt him for it bc how has the cruelty of the industry not wear you down?

but ha it actually has, he’s actually hella insecure about a lot of things except that he doesn’t let anyone in on his feelings, cries a lot into his pillow when he thinks no one’s around and makes sure that he’s always bright and happy the next day

he never lets anyone even think for a second that he’s upset or smth though, whatever he does feels really genuine

on a s/n Drop Dead Gorgeous is he even real

LIKE FOR REAL HE’S SO FUCKIN HANDSOME 2017 adonis @ his finest

knows how to make everyone happy (except for himself…..) and in a way its a substitute for him to fill up on his own deprivation of love n happiness

but he has the biggest heart, tries to take time out to help everyone when he can, and is super affectionate and can come off as overbearing / overwhelming at times

but he’s also a Heartbreaker ; /  mostly bc he’s super nice n flirty to everyone and it can be kinda misleading at times? BUT ITS NOT INTENTIONAL especially since he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not ok to go around dropping random kisses on people and proclaiming his love for them all the time

once secretly dated a female trainee to protect her from the company finding out that she was gay

but that quickly turned into rumors wherein he dated another male trainee which….. may not be entirely false

a good friend, will always make time to listen to u and offer comfort

in a lot of ways he’s like a shelter and has been described as such by a lot of people that are close to him? mostly bc of how reliable and sturdy he is and how much he’s willing to take just about everyone in

haha but when he gets angry thats a whole different story

has the ability to stand up for others and will never hesitate to do so, esp if he doesn’t like what ur doing. he’s v stubborn and strongly-opinionated, however he’s almost always unable to stand up for himself, and instead he absorbs all the criticism he hears and takes it to heart

humble to the point of demeaning. he doesn’t believe that he would even be here without his members and (family…..ish)

gets a lot of hate for his singing bc when knetz heard his voice in one of their earlier releases they were like uhhhhhhhhh whomst and got a lot of criticism, mostly bc they think he’s just another untalented pretty face and that’s it

like but he’s constantly improving? and he rlly rlly works super hard to be better, and now he even drops small covers sometimes

ok but dance is the goddamn love of his life )-: posts a lot of dance covers and choreographs some dances too!

tries to contribute by learning how to compose and write lyrics, he’s constantly learning n experimenting w the help of the staff and his group members

SPEAKING OF WHICH he’s a total softie 4 them ok like to the level where he would give anything up for his members they’re his FAMILY n literally the only ppl who he’s ever seen him down

v loud, makes his presence known almost immediately

also he’s so!!!!! boyfriend!!!!!! icb

a TREE he’s so tall smh (perfect 4 u to lean on, cuddle, and be the small spoon to)

fashion is another passion of his, his entire wardrobe = fashion week all year long

a little hard to get super, seriously close to though bc of how much he bottles up inside himself. but he’s a little way too trusting and that fact gets taken advantage of a lot

has pet names for everyone

looks like he cant be taken srsly but he’s really observant and sharp, listens and watches his surroundings and hence he can AND will use ur words against u if u go against them

HE’S JUST A SWEETHEART TRYING 2 MAKE IT IN THIS JUNGLE OK thank u <3

if u read till here u deserve a gold medal

#3

i’m rly just here to develop my chara so i’m definitely open to any kind of plots at all! i mean it when i say that so plsplspls hmu w any ideas u may have whatsoever!!! or at least until i sort out a proper plots page or smth yikes…