#i also have another one-shot in the making which takes place some time after astride left with gladys and hydrange
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the truth is i was pulling this one-shot out because i needed the references lmao
#now where was i ?#i also have another one-shot in the making which takes place some time after astride left with gladys and hydrange#i just need to finish it lolz.
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Cal Lucia plays Fire Emblem Path of Radiance: Chapter 17
WE’RE BACK!
Oh, I did not think that Tibarn and his birds are getting involved in this as well. Guess I was right in my assertion that this is kind of the midpoint of the game.
Seeing the Heron Laguz be referred to as “Serenes” really kind of trips me up, because my main association with that name is always the place. But I guess it makes sense that it is named after the people who live there.
Not too much interesting stuff here in terms of base conversations, but what was there was pretty fun. A random priest who used to work for Oliver and whose parents participated in the massacre at Serene’s Forest, which makes for some nice worldbuilding.
Devdan meanwhile – this man may not be the deepest guy at first glance, but pffft, his philosophizing towards Ike was nice.
Kind of an odd thing to note that the forest no longer has any colour specifically. I thought it was just burned down, and not anything else? Or was there some kind of magic involved?
First map of the chapter wasn’t too bad… but oh boy, I’m starting to see why I put this off. You can’t exchange units at the second part, and can only pick two characters who are there as reinforcements… urgh.
Reyson got special destruction magic? Can he please also have that when he joins?
Okay, even if it’s a bit frustrating that the characters you pick as reinforcements don’t join you right away, the fact that all of them seemingly get unique quotes is a really nice touch. Also the fact that the second map has a different objective than the first.
Somehow took me until the second map, but there are swamp tiles on these maps? No wonder that my horseback units had some trouble going through some areas. That, and that the enemy riders took the long way round to get me. Still not much trouble actually getting through this map.
Third part of the chapter! I figured that Leanne would appear around these parts, but I didn’t really have any idea how she plays into things.
And for these parts it was actually convenient for me that I was streaming this chapter for a friend who’s Normal enough about these games to know the ancient language text by heart, and could just translate them for me on the fly (though not fluidly). Granted, you can easily tell what Leanne is saying based on the context and how the others react to her, but it was still nice.
Anyway, while it’s a bit annoying in terms of gameplay, it is actually a really nice touch that for this chapter, Ike basically has Leanne “rescued” at all times. It cost him half his speed for me, but you know. Still a nice touch.
Another new objective for this map, too, which was really nice! This one definitely appeared more overwhelming than it actually wound up being, though. For a map where you have to survive for ten turns, I already cleared out the enemies way before that. Final turn there weren’t even any enemy reinforcements anymore, which I think might have been because I blocked the spots where they would have spawned.
Tibarn staging an intervention to get Reyson off the destruction magic. Dark destruction magic, not even once.
By the fourth part of this map, I was definitely running out of characters I wanted to have as reinforcement, though. I wound up giving Astrid and Mordecai another shot, but I still don’t really wanna use them as much.
Thank goodness though that I already promoted Jill and everything – she helped me take out the meteor mage on the second turn. The rest of the map wasn’t really worth mentioning, and Jill also landed the killing blow on Oliver. I would’ve liked to let Ike do that in the hopes of some unique dialogue, but Tibarn and his guys were already well on their way to him, so I doubt that he would have made it.
So, in the aftermath of the battle. Sanaki apologizing for the massacre at Serene’s Forest is a nice a gesture, but like Reyson says, that alone shouldn’t be enough to work through all the hatred. Still important to make a start, though.
Eyyy, another animated cutscene! The voice acting remains wonky at best, but this one was nice to look at. So, everything as usual, really.
And Soren continues to have Problem™. Wonder how long it’s gonna be before we get into those.
Next part isn’t technically part of this chapter, but I’ll include it anyway.
lol @ Ike’s “urgh do I have to" attitude towards being made a noble
Promotion time! And I got Ike to level 19 before that, too so good timing on that.
#shut up cal you fool#shut up lucia you fool#cal lucia plays fire emblem path of radiance#path of radiance#fire emblem path of radiance#long post#currently torn on whether or not to stream more chapters for this friend#but considering the general difficulty of finding times for these things#I think I'm better of mostly playing the game by myself
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Spitelout avoided the Chiefs questions, instead choosing to continue firing angry shots. “Her build means nothing! Some of Berks best warriors are leaner than normal!” He gestured at Astrid. “Size isn’t an excuse!” It did when it was Hiccup, though. “For as long as she’s been here, she should be able to properly fight off any enemies!”
He glared at Valka. “Aye, but at least you tried. She, clearly did not!”
Danny’s leg shook as Hiccup went into detail, he shouldn’t have had to see that.
At Hiccup’s nod of encouragement, Danny tried to relax, she really did, but it didn’t work, not with Spitelout still looming over and spilling his nonsense.
She just nodded at Astrid, before turning her gaze back to the table.
Oh Gods, Hiccup had actually killed him? She knew that he said that Grimmel wouldn’t ever bother her again, but she didn’t think he actually killed him! It only took a moment for that shock to wear off though, she knew Hiccup would’ve done that if it came down to it, which it did.
Danny looked over at Fishlegs, letting out a shaky sigh of relief before giving him a small smile.
Snotlout, who had said nothing the entire time, had been startled when Hiccup asked for his input.
He looked between Danielle and his father, not sure as to how he was supposed to handle this.
There was always this expectation for the Jorgensons, especially him, since his father pushed it so hard on him from the very start.
If he disagreed with his father, then he wouldn’t live up to said expectation, and he also couldn’t even fathom what he might say to him…
But what was the right thing to do?
Sure, he wasn’t really fond of Danielle, she was an annoying teenager, and he was positive that he was twice the person at half her age, but she was… innocent. She was innocent.
“I…” His voice rarely ever faltered, so why was it now?
He caught another glimpse of her; her eyes looking at him, pleading with him to not agree with his father.
He made a decision.
Clearing his throat, he slapped his firm, almost determined look back onto his face, and nodded at Hiccup, making sure that his father wasn’t even in his view.
“I’m with Fishlegs, she’s innocent, everything that happened was because of Grimmel, not her.”
Danielle looked back at him with nothing but gratitude, mouthing a very small ‘thank you’ that he chose to ignore.
“WHAT?!” Spitelout yelled.
That yell probably could’ve put a Thunderdrum to shame.
The older Viking roughly grabbed his son by the shoulder, spinning him around to face him.
“You’re going to betray your own father?! All for the sake of this, this outcast?! I raised you better than this— You’re a Jorgenson for Gods sake! And we Jorgensons don’t pity people just because they look sorry!”
“Dad, stop! She, she’s innocent! And I know you know that! Why would Fishlegs and Hiccup lie about this?! Hiccup was literally there, he saw it! And Fishlegs knows a lot about this stuff, definitely more than you do!”
"She was in combat training, and she'll resume once Gothi says she is well enough to do so." Astrid stated firmly. She too, was glaring at Spitelout, and the daggers she shot his way didn't waver.
Fishlegs returned Danny's small smile before shifting his focus back to Snotlout, curious as to what he'd say.
As Hiccup waited for Snotlout to speak, to say he was nervous was an understatement. He knew he was putting his friend in a tough position, but Hiccup felt that Snotlout's words could help tip the scales.
His expression was also one of gratitude after hearing Snotlout's decision, though it quickly turned to frustration at Spitelout's outburst.
Hiccup moved from his place towards Snotlout and Spitelout, placing a hand on his cousin's shoulder. "Before we take this to an official vote, I did invite Gothi over to share her thoughts as well, based on the condition Danny returned to Berk in. She was able to see more of the affect it had."
Looking over at the elder Berkian, he gestured for her to come forward. "Once she's said her piece, there will be one more opportunity to share any thoughts before we vote."
He made his way back to his seat, looking over at Danny. He gave her a look that said, 'We're almost there, just hang on'.
Sitting back down next to Astrid, he nodded, ready to translate for Gothi.
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Cowboy Like Me - Part One
Story Summary: HERE.
Chapter Summary: Three months after your arrival at Statesman’s Kentucky department, Jack and yourself are sent out on your first assignment together. You find out you didn’t know your partner as well as you thought you did, while Jack is forced to confront the decisions he made one year prior.
Rating: M ......for now.
Word Count: 11.2k (I know...) (also, the irony of this blog being named danidrabbles vs. this word count is not lost on me, trust me)
Warnings: Language, canon-typical violence (mentions and use of weapons, mentions of death and murder), alcohol, innuendo but no smut, feeeelings, way too many creative liberties with / assumptions about the art world - I think that’s it, but please let me know if I missed anything!
Notes: Absolutely terrifying to share my child in fanfic form with the world, but here we are... This story (even this first chapter) has known many versions, but this final one would not have been here if it hadn’t been for Astrid @javier-pena, who quite literally dragged me through this with her constant encouragement and unlimited enthusiasm. Please read her wonderful Mandalorian fic ‘The Hunt’. Astrid, I’m tipping my imaginary cowboy hat down to say that I can’t thank you enough, darlin’. I also want to mention @frannyzooey and @jura-moon who, with their stories, have inspired me endlessly and relit the writing flame within me that had gone out. Thank you!
PART ONE: LONDON.
“No, wait,” you whisper, and you hold two fingers up to emphasise your words.
“Wasn’t gonna do anything,” Jack hisses back.
The two of you are taking cover behind a broad column, face to face to fit the space together. The footsteps to your side stop, and then there’s the sound of hushed voices, too soft to make out what they’re saying. There are five of them, that much you know, all equipped with a gun.
You nod down at the hand resting on the holster under his arm, raising an eyebrow. “Sure.”
“Not yet,” he clarifies with a sigh. “But hiding here ain’t it… Eventually, it’s only gonna expose us more.”
“We’ve got to wait,” you say. “Listen, they’re eager, right? They’ll come to us, and if we wait for them to come to us, we can take them out in close quarters instead of at long range.” Your head perks up at the soft sounds coming from the other side of the room.
“That’d be a perfect idea if you had your little knives and I had my whip, but we gotta take ‘em out with these,” he reminds you, holding his gun up for you to see. “Remember?”
You sigh, palming the gun still sheathed in the holster on your hip. He’s right, you acknowledge with a nod, it is different without your weapons of choice. “What about visibility?”
Above you, there’s a light flickering on and off, colouring your surroundings in bright red at steady intervals, forcing your eyes to refocus every time colour bleeds back into the room.
“Think it’s a disadvantage for all of us,” he provides.
The sound of footsteps is back, this time almost rhythmical, on your left and right. “They’re probably splitting up,” you whisper, listening again before you add, “Three on the left, two on the right? Maybe?”
He listens, too. “Sounds about right.” Then, he grins. “How ‘bout a little competition, hmm? First one to take out three wins.”
Your face falls and you manage a sharp, “Jack, no,” but shit— He’s already rounding the corner. You have no choice but to come out of hiding to cover him, following only a second after he emerges from behind the column. The sight of the both of you, guns raised, fills the room with silence, until Jack fires a warning shot, which makes the footsteps turn frantic. There’s a sound to your left, and you turn, quickly firing at one of your assailants who has their gun pointed at Jack’s back, hitting them right in the chest.
Jack’s head whips around in surprise. “Thank you, darlin’,” he says, an appreciative smile apparent in-between the flickers of light. “But that one was on my side, so that makes the score one to zero in my favor.”
“All I heard was, ‘First one to take out three wins’, nothing about sides,” you counter. “Which would make it one to zero in my favor.”
“Hmm,” is all he says, and it sounds far too amused.
“What’s that?”
“S’nothing, I just… knew you’d play along if I made you.”
You roll your eyes at his remark, then refocus, scanning your surroundings. There’s crates, columns, some furniture; plenty of places to obscure you from view. You can’t see a thing during the little intervals where the lights aren’t on and it makes you feel dazed, like you’re moving in slow-motion. There’s also no footsteps, so you decide that forcing everyone to the back of the room by checking the hiding places is probably the best course of action, as it will eventually leave them cornered, easier targets. Turning to convey your plans to your partner, you find him gone from your side.
Then there’s a grunt, and a thud, and then Jack’s voice echoes through the room, “One-one.”
Before you can even think of replying, a shot flies over your shoulder, and you dive behind a large crate. You look over the top with narrow eyes, spotting someone hanging from the ceiling. It’s a smart move in theory, but only if you don’t miss; it draws attention, reveals your position. You wait, and when no shot follows, you look over the crate again, seeing the person who just shot at you struggle with their weapon.
You raise your gun, take your aim and hit them in the chest at the exact same moment as the room lights up. Another shot rings out behind you, followed by a groan, and you immediately turn towards the sound. You find Jack standing there, looking far too proud and with a body slung over one of the chairs behind you.
“Thought I’d return the favor and make things exciting,” he says. “That’s two-to-two.”
You offer him a short, fake smile, then move through the room with him. It’s nearly impossible, with Jack wedging himself into your path to be the first to check your corners on account of the current score, and after some frantic shuffling from your target, and some missed shots from you and Jack, there’s only one spot left. You will yourself to focus on the far corner of the room, cross stepping closer and closer with Jack hot on your heels.
“You’re paying attention, right?” Jack says, picking up his step again until he’s slightly ahead of you. You can see the grin on his face form between the flickers of the lights overhead. “’‘Cause I would just hate for you to lose, doll.”
God, you hadn’t even agreed to participate in this pointless bet, but you can’t help but think about how satisfying it would be to wipe that grin right off his face when you win…
Suddenly there’s a shuffle from behind the couch in front of you, followed by a click, and it makes you both duck just before two shots come your way in quick succession. Jack’s hand closes over your upper arm, dragging you behind the fallen table he’s found cover behind, and you’re both silent for a second to listen to more shuffling from your target’s hiding place, followed by two more shots.
“Looks like we’ve successfully trapped our rat in the corner,” Jack says, voice low.
You nod. “Okay, I’ll go, you c—”
“Oh, hell no.” Jack chuckles softly. “Nice try, but I ain’t handin’ you the victory on a silver platter like that.”
Your shoulders drop with a sigh, “You know I don’t actually care about this bet, right? Just need you to cover me.”
He makes a face, then pulls another 10-bullet magazine from the clip around his waist as he thinks. After sliding it into place and pulling his hand back overtop the weapon, a tick confirms the reloading of his gun, and he gives you a quick nod.
“I’m going to need verbal confir—”
“Just fuckin’ go. I’ll cover you.”
Before he can change his mind, or do something decidedly Jack-ish, you step over his body, staying low, as you sneak out of hiding on the opposite side of the table during a moment where the room is covered in darkness. Behind you, you hear Jack mutter a soft curse before he begins shooting in the general direction of where the shots had originated earlier.
You approach carefully, operating out of sight. When you’re close enough, you press your back up against the nearest column. Quickly checking your gun between the flickering lights, you nod to yourself, then hold it close to you as you start to count when your distracted opponent fires back at Jack.
One, two, three…
four, five…
six.
Bingo.
You approach the couch, pointing your gun over it. The man behind it immediately raises his own weapon at you, aims for your chest and fires, but all that follows is a soft click, accompanied by a look of horror on his face at the realization he’s emptied his magazine.
In the split-second you contemplate your options, the bet entering your thoughts again, Jack comes up to stand beside you. You take him in from the corner of your eye. He’s not looking at you but has his gun still firmly held in both hands. When you turn slightly to look up at him, your eyes meet, and you’re sure that in that moment, the exact same thought crosses your minds at the exact same time. You both point your gun down and pull the trigger.
It’s impossible to tell who lands the kill shot in the end.
Jack scoffs, hands dropping to his sides with a shake of his head. “Christ, you liar.”
You’re about to retort when you hear it: a click behind you.
The realization makes your eyes widen, but it’s too late. You hear the shot before you feel it, and it lands right in the middle of your back, making you wobble. Next to you, Jack huffs, hand landing on the back of the couch at the pressure that he’s no doubt also feeling at his back.
It’s silent for what feels like the longest time, save for the heavy breathing behind the two of you. Until…
“You’re out, agents.” Ginger’s voice crackles over the intercom.
The lights flicker on in the room, bright and almost yellow, and the loud buzzer that rings through the practice space indicates the end of training. Around you, everyone rises up from their fake-deaths. They gather around, shrugging out of their protective clothes and celebrating their win, congratulating the last woman standing as they make their way to the exit.
“What the hell, Ginger!” You shout. “You said there were five!”
There’s a soft noise coming through the intercom, before Ginger’s voice is back, “Here’s a refresher: Always verify the information you get, don’t just blindly follow it.”
“Oh, come on…”
Next to you, Jack pulls the magazine of practice bullets from his gun before he holsters it. “It’s not like it really matters,” he says.
“We were just taken out by the recruits,” you scoff. “It matters.”
Meanwhile, your mind is already racing, going over the details of the training, thinking on where you went wrong, but it’s a short contemplation because Ginger is right: You should have confirmed your targets before running out in the open and exposing yourself, have a better plan... Which reminds you—
“Hey,” you say, drawing Jack’s attention again. “Next time I would appreciate a little heads up if you’re going to disappear on me like that,” you say, jabbing your thumb over your shoulder. “I mean, if I can’t even trust you during training, how am I supposed to trust you when we get back out there?”
His eyes narrow and it’s like he’s about to say something, then thinks better of it and turns away from you. “We ain’t going anywhere anytime soon anyway.” His voice is stained with spite and immediately after he says it, he starts making his way towards the exit.
You huff as you pull at the velcro straps to get the vest off your body and drop it into the container with the rest of the protective clothes next to the door, before following after him.
He isn’t wrong, per se. You don’t know about the details because it seems to be a sensitive topic judging from the one time you brought it up, but Jack had been put on non-active months ago after a mission in Cambodia and hasn’t been sent out by Statesman since. After a bit of an unconventional first meeting between the two of you, Champ, the head of Statesman, had decided that partnering you two up would be a good idea. Truthfully, it made sense; Jack’s a senior agent who needs to be eased back into things, you’re a junior agent who could learn from him while you could keep him reined in.
But it’s been three months since and you still haven’t been sent out on a mission, and it isn’t how you envisioned your transfer to this division of Statesman to be.
You imagined high-stakes missions, traveling the world, learning from the best—
Okay, maybe that last part had worked out.
Truth be told, Jack had proven himself a very capable agent from the very moment you met, but it didn’t really sink in until one of your first training sessions, when you discovered Jack insisted on carrying around a lasso and whip on top of this Statesman issued gun. You laughed it off at first, thinking it was just part of his cowboy-like fashion sense. Then he opted to practice his lasso skills on you, betting he could catch you with it in under a minute. Figuring it would take him more than a minute to even find you in the large training space, you agreed. In hindsight, the smirk on his face when he asked should have been enough for you to realize your mistake right away. He found you, got the rope looped around your body, and, rather indignantly, forced you to the ground; all in under 36 seconds.
It wasn’t until after, when the rope was looped around a rubber target dummy, that he showed you the lasso could turn electric…
You continued your sessions together, learning to anticipate each other’s moves, play off of them to use it against your opponent; getting a routine down and using the training time to prepare for your missions. But there’s only so much preparing you can do, especially with someone who is as much of a wildcard as Jack, someone who often makes his own plan. But the missions never came, causing Jack to become somewhat of a ticking time bomb, closer to exploding with each passing day that you weren’t sent out. You’re sure Champ has noticed by now, but still, he insists on having you train together more. And, on occasion, that means playing target practice for the new Statesman recruits.
“Being taken out by the recruits isn’t going to improve our chances, you know.” You jog after him until you’re walking next to him.
“That mean we should just take it?” Jack asks, manoeuvring through the corridors back to the main building, bumping your shoulder occasionally.
“Whatever happened to, ‘You know me darlin’, I’m always jumpin’ at the chance to pencil in a little extra training time with you’?” you manage in your best impression of his voice to echo the words he said before the two of you entered the training space earlier.
“I changed my mind and thought of something better, that’s what happened,” he says, looking at you before gesturing between the two of you. “Us two, puttin’ all our hard work to good use out there in the field. And I don’t mean any funny business.”
“Hmm, yeah, no, exactly, ‘cause we don’t practice that kind of stuff.”
You set it up for him, and you have a feeling he knows but can’t help himself. One corner of his mouth turns up, and you consider the slight change in his demeanour a small victory.
“But we could.”
You chuckle, open your mouth to reply—
“I know, I know.” He grins, before you can say anything. “Just puttin’ it out there, lest you forget.”
He stops walking, so you do as well, standing next to him and leaning against the wall as to not obstruct the hallway. He turns towards you and for a moment you just look at him as he sighs and combs his fingers through his hair while the furrow returns to his brow. “But… Christ, don’t you wanna get back out there?”
“Of course I do,” you say with a sigh. “At this rate that recruit dangling from the ceiling is going to get a mission before we do.”
“See! That’s what I’m talking about, partner.” He leans in, lowers his voice like he’s about to tell you a secret, “I say we—”
“Hey, Whiskey!” The exclamation echoes through the hall, followed by your own code name. Both your heads perk up at the sound, finding one of the recruits at the end of the hall. “Ginger’s asking for you two!”
--
Ginger Ale’s promotion to handler meant that she was able to enjoy a lot more of Statesman’s luxuries, including her own office. As you walk in, you can’t help but notice how nice it is: It is spacious, but modest with the way she has decorated it, has a gorgeous view and is full of the latest tech; it is exactly what she deserves.
You’ve gotten to know her well during the past few months. She is intelligent and resourceful, warm and encouraging. Her work is thorough and precise; she cares a great deal about the details of a mission, and you have no doubt that you could always trust her if she were to ever guide you through one.
But training is another story, apparently…
“I’m not accepting any repercussions for that training,” you say the moment you spot her by the window.
Ginger chuckles at that, and it sounds unlike her, like she’s nervous. It’s almost as intriguing as the next words she speaks, “Then I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t call you in here for that. Why don’t you have a seat?”
You shoot a quick glance at Jack, who looks equally responsive despite his silence; lips pursed, an eyebrow cocked. He strides towards her desk to take her up on her invitation, and sits down in one of the two chairs opposite her workspace. You follow quickly, taking a seat in the empty chair beside him, looking up at Ginger as she makes her way to the see-through screen on her desk.
Ginger taps the screen twice, and it lights up. It’s full of pictures of the same man, all taken on different occasions. He’s slender, mid-40s, you’d guess, with a pair of round glasses perched on his nose and has blond, wild hair, some of it missing on the top of his head.
“Nathaniel Jones,” Jack says, leaning in to take a closer look at the pictures. “Nathan resurfaced?”
“Yes,” Ginger says.
“I’m sorry, um, who is Nathan?” you ask, looking from Jack to Ginger and back.
“He’s an art thief,” Ginger answers.
“Not just an art thief, he’s one of the best, even wanted by the good folks at Interpol,” Jack corrects, turning to you. “Steals pieces all over the world and replaces ‘em with fakes, good fakes, then sells ‘em. They even suspect him of stealin’ an ancient Chinese gu from an exhibition in Nanjing, which he kept for his own personal collection. Think he might be capable of puttin’ the Gardner Museum theft to shame someday…” He trails off.
You nod, not entirely sure what that means, but you’re sure it would be an impressive feat. And Jack would know. While he’s been on non-active, Jack has taken up a new hobby: art history. You didn’t think he’d be the man for it, but apparently when Jack sets his sights on something, he goes a little hard, and if the many times he’s threatened to ‘leave the agency and live off that sweet, sweet art appraiser salary’ are anything to go by, he is quite good.
“However, no one has been able to catch him. He leaves no physical evidence, but he always allows himself to be photographed, as you can see,” Ginger says, gesturing towards the screen.
“Show off,” Jack scoffs. “Where did they spot him?”
“London,” Ginger replies, tapping the screen again to reveal an aerial map of the city centre, two red dots corresponding with some of the pictures she’s shown you earlier. “There’s a big auction coming up and he’s expected to strike.”
Suddenly, her words are kicking in. Nathan is like.. he is kind of like a target, isn’t he? And he was spotted in London… Expected to attend an event where he could get caught...
“Ginger, are you—are you saying what I think you’re saying? You’re sending us on a mission?”
“Yes and no. It’s…” Ginger hesitates, eyes flickering to Jack quickly, then continues, “It’s a mission, but it’s not our mission. It’s… It’s at the request of Kingsman.”
But it’s a mission. A real mission, in London. And it's perfect. With Jack's art expertise and both your skills as agents, you’re sure you’d be an excellent addition to the Kingsman team for this mission. A mission. Finally—
“We ain’t goin’.”
—and then Jack says that. His voice is low and dead serious, lacking any hint of sarcasm. “You know I’m not fucking doing that.”
It takes you completely by surprise, and you whip your head around to him so quickly that the muscles in your neck protest. "What?"
He ignores the question, stares straight at Ginger. Something is seriously wrong. He’s tense, maybe even more than you’ve ever seen him. It’s in the way his jaw twitches, and how he’s gripping the arms of the chair, but most of all in his eyes; it’s something you can’t place.
“They just need someone who can look at the pieces they have at the auction house, to authenticate and appraise them before the auction,” Ginger says, “and an extra couple eyes to do surveillance during the auction.”
"You should send someone else, ‘cause I ain't doin’ it."
Ginger sighs. “You think I would ask this of you if there was someone else who could do it?”
“Come on, Ginger,” Jack laughs bitterly, a thumb coming up to swipe at his bottom lip. “No art appraisers available in London?”
“You know they can't just get a civilian in on this.” Ginger sounds frustrated now.
"Well, it’s what Kingsman is gonna have to do."
You raise a brow at the way he snarls at the word ‘Kingsman’. So that’s what this is about. “Okay,” you begin, speaking in the kindest, most understanding tone you can manage as you turn towards your incredibly stubborn partner. “Okay, clearly there’s something going on here, with - with the Kingsman, right? But maybe by going there you can…,” you gesture with your hands to find the right words, “work it out?”
He seems to consider this, lips pursing further, not looking at either you or Ginger, and after some moments of quiet contemplation, he begins to sit up. “Hypothetically — and by that I do mean hypothetically — if I were to agree… Do they even know I’m the one comin’ to consult?”
“Jack—”
“It’s a simple question,” Jack interrupts, voice slightly raised. “Yes or no?”
You give Ginger a hopeful look, but her silence says enough.
Jack lifts himself out of the chair, drawing the same conclusion. “Then there’s no chance in hell.”
"Well, do I get a say in this at all?" Your voice comes out angrier than you intended, but it’s fitting. You are angry. Angry that he’s making decisions without you again, angry that he would blow this chance for the both of you after he hasn’t shut up about how he wants to get sent out on a mission.
"Not in this one,” Jack all but barks at you.
You rise up from your chair. “Excuse me?”
“Sorry, doll, but I’m not going all the way to London to help Kingsman as some sort of… last hurray before we're back to bein’ fucking… practice bait for the recruits!" Rounding the chair, Jack makes his way to the doors to Ginger’s office.
You're about to go after him, demand he tell you what the fuck the big deal with Kingsman even is, when Ginger speaks,
"What if it isn't one last hurray?"
Jack keeps walking. “Don’t bother.”
“If you go, I can talk to Champ about sending you out on more assignments.”
Now that makes Jack stop in his tracks. He doesn’t quite turn around yet, his back is still to Ginger and yourself, but he does angle his head to the side to indicate he heard her. It’s something. You can feel your anger simmering down and your heartbeat picking up; hopeful at Jack’s hesitance, giddy at the prospect of more missions. “And all I have to do is look at the pieces?” His voice is barely any louder than a whisper.
“Look at the pieces, authenticate and appraise them, surveillance,” Ginger summarises. “That’s it.”
His hands find his hips with a sigh, and he tips his head down. He stays like that, oh so still… “Tell them I’ll do it,” he says, “but not because I want to.” Then he pushes the door open and walks away.
--
“So…” You draw the word out before clicking your tongue.
You’re sitting across from Jack on the jet, still a long way from London. Ginger has arranged for one pretty much right away. Once you’ve gotten over your initial, dazzling impression of the jet – it is enormous, far too much for just two people, with a literal pool table in the middle and a fucking bar with two doors next to it that lead to the sleeping compartments – you begin quietly observing him.
He hasn’t spoken a word since you left Kentucky and, if anything, he seems to get more miserable the closer you get to your destination. The longer you see him like this, the more your enthusiasm for the mission cools, and the more you actually start to get worried this is a bad idea after all.
You have waited as long as your curiosity, and the tension, allow for it, but given the explosive start of this whole thing, you’re certain you have to know the apparent history between him and Kingsman. You’ve tried asking Ginger, as she certainly knows more about it, but she insisted it wasn’t her place to tell you. So, really, you have no choice but to bring it up now.
“When are you going to tell me what the deal is with you and Kingsman?”
“Nothin’ for you to worry about,” comes his instant reply, clearly having anticipated your question. He’s got one hand cupped along his jaw to support his head so he can stare out the small circular window, while his shoulders, judging from his posture and the expression on his face, are currently supporting the weight of the world. “It’s all gonna be just fine.”
You scoff. “Please. I’ve known you for some time now, I’ve seen you in a lot of moods, but I’ve never seen you sulk, and…,” you gesture towards him, slumped back in his seat as he is, “…you’re sulking, Jack. Clearly there’s a good reason for that.”
He sits up at your remark, adjusts his hat, then pinches the bridge of his nose, giving you a clear sign that he doesn’t want to have this conversation – at all, but especially right now. You give him a few more seconds, but when it’s clear he isn’t going to speak, you try another direction.
“Is it um, is it about Cambodia?” you gently pry.
“Woman, can’t you take a hint?” he grunts. “Or do you just like getting a rise outta me?”
“I’m not asking just because I’m curious what can get such a rise out of you,” you say. “This is an assignment, technically it’s our first official one - the bank doesn’t count,” you add quickly. “And I would just like to be a little more prepared than last time.”
“The bank counts.”
“We didn’t even know—”
“The bank counts,” he repeats, and he probably thinks he’s being oh so funny and clever right now, focussing in on your mention of your first meeting like he isn’t doing it just to try to change the subject.
“I want to know what I’m about to walk into, Jack,” you say sharply.
“We all want things, darlin’,” he says with a sigh, getting up from his seat. “I for one would like ya to stop bringin’ this up.” And then he walks off to quite possibly the only place he can escape to right now, announcing, “I’m gonna hit the hay.”
“Sooner or later I will find out about it, you know that, right?” you call after him, your final attempt to make him just tell you what happened.
He hesitates – it's brief, but he does, a slight change in his step, a twitch of his upper arm. But he doesn’t stop, leaving you to watch as he slips through one of the doors next to the bar and disappears out of sight.
You will yourself to keep working and wait for him to return, thumbing through the thick files Ginger sent along. But as more time passes, the letters begin to dance in front of your eyes and your eyelids get heavy with sleep. Had this seat been this comfortable before? Your body sags into the leather and you allow your thoughts to drift away from your partner’s mysterious history with Kingsman. After all, you think, naively, trying to justify letting the sleep overtake you, if Jack has decided to accept the assignment, how bad could it really be?
--
Okay. So. Turns out it could be really bad.
After touching down in London, you’d been escorted straight to the auction house, where Agents Galahad Sr. and Galahad Jr. would meet up with you. Jack had been fidgety the whole ride, leg bouncing as he resorted back to gazing out the window. You don’t know how long he had locked himself away for on the jet, but when you’d woken up, he was back in his seat across from you, case files in his lap but fast asleep, or doing a pretty good job pretending. After arriving, you entered through the sliding glass doors, and spotted two men, both sharply dressed. One was a bit older than the other, and the older one wore a pair of glasses that left one eye obscured from view. The older man had barely taken your hand in his to introduce himself, when his colleague spotted Jack, and all hell had broken loose.
Currently, you and the man you now know as Harry, if all the frantic yelling from the other agent is anything to go by, are forced to settle what has become a standoff between Jack and Harry’s colleague. They’re standing across from each other, weapons pointed at each other after Harry’s colleague aimed his at Jack, to which Jack pulled his own gun from its holster and pointed it at the other man.
“What the fuck is this, Harry? What is he doing here?”
There’s something about his tone that confirms beyond his actions that he’s more than furious. You feel a flush creep up your neck in response to the situation you find yourself in; you feel embarrassed that you have no idea what’s going on.
“Eggsy,” Harry says. “There’s no need for theatrics.”
“He’s right. Jack, put the gun away,” you say.
“Like hell – I’ll put my gun away when he puts his gun away,” Jack answers, his eyes never leaving Eggsy’s hands.
“I— Me? I should put my gun away?” Eggsy scoffs. “I’m not even puttin’ my gun down around you. Last time you pulled a gun on me, you tried to kill me—” He looks at Harry, “You tried to kill us.”
Jack sighs. “Listen, things are different now—”
He’s saying more after that, but all that you’re hearing is that he isn’t denying it, and it replaces the flush from earlier with goosebumps that break out all over your body. That’s why he didn’t want to come here. Jack, your partner Jack, had attempted to kill two Kingsman agents.
“Why are you so calm about this, Harry?” Eggsy’s voice comes out strained, and it almost sounds like a plea.
“Agent Galahad,” Harry says sharply. “You know we can’t let our personal feelings get in the way. I simply think we should give Agent Whiskey a chance to do the job he came here to do.”
“Yes,” you blurt out. “I swear, that’s all we came here to do; do the appraisal and help with the surveillance later. After that, we’ll be out of your hair.”
Eggsy looks from you to Harry and back, gripping the gun so hard it shakes, then lowers it with a sigh. “You better.” He turns his attention back to Jack. “Or I swear, I’m gonna put so many fuckin’ bullets in you that no amount of Alpha-Gel can fix it. You got that?”
“Loud and clear.”
You heave a sigh of relief when the men holster their weapons, and as if knowing exactly when to appear, the auction house assistant enters the room, blissfully oblivious to what she had just missed out on.
Her accent is posh, especially compared to Eggsy’s, when she says, “I see everyone has arrived. Shall we?”
As she leads you to the room where the paintings are being kept, the auction house assistant informs you about them. They’re all part of a week-long event, an auction to help out up and coming artists. It’s all information you already know from the preliminary work you did for this assignment. What you don’t know is that artists usually make little to nothing from their art being sold at auction houses, but that this auction has a scoop: The artists will receive royalties from works sold on the secondary market. The works up for auction tomorrow are among the most anticipated, and they’re expected to sell at a high price. And even though you’re no art expert, you can certainly see why when the assistant leads you into the room where the works are stored.
The white walls are adorned with paintings of the most beautiful artworks. They’re all landscapes -– cherry blossom by a lake, a cave lit in a way that could be described as enchanting, a waterfall between oddly shaped high rocks, a lavender field at sundown. But they’re painted in a way unlike anything you’ve ever seen on account of the dazzling colours and unusual brush strokes. It instantly makes you want to look closer; it makes you want to touch, flit your fingers over the bumps of dried paint – an instinct you obviously don’t act upon, but you want to. It’s bitter to imagine how such stunning works would not have benefitted the artist if it would be sold at another auction house…
Jack looks equally impressed, whistling as he looks around the room before he gets to work. As he does, you watch curiously, from a distance as not to disturb him – Eggsy’s leaning against the wall next to him, much less subtle about his observant role. While you watch, you take note of the care Jack is putting into his work right now, unusually patient in his methods, evident in the way the gloved tips of his fingers brush along the canvasses, how he uses his pocket magnifying glass to inspect the painting from top to bottom, and the soft tone he uses with the assistant. It’s the kind of stuff you’ve never really been able to see him do, you realize, so different from all the tactical training you went through the past few months.
By the time he’s nearly done, you’re deep in conversation with Harry. He’s polite and to the point, with a rich voice and a kind laugh. And clearly, he’s no fool. You had struck up the conversation in hopes of prying some information out of him about Jack’s history with Kingsman, but Harry changes the subject each time you try, focusing back on the “extraordinary artwork”. It’s like the universe is conspiring against you, waiting to drop the other shoe at the right moment – or maybe these agents are just too well trained…
“That fuckin’…” Lost in thought as you are, you’re startled when you suddenly hear Jack’s voice sail through the room. “We’ve got a problem,” he declares, rounding the corner, coming back into view with Eggsy hot on his heels. He’s striding over with large steps as he plucks the latex gloves off his hands, and the concern on his face is apparent; his lips are pressed together in a thin line and his brows are furrowed. He comes to a halt in front of Harry and yourself, his fingers brushing along his chin before he explains himself, “So, all of ‘em are exactly as I expected ‘em, right? Until I get to the last one, inspect the brushstrokes and… something don’t add up. I think he’s already made the switch.”
--
Jack’s unexpected discovery at the auction house had led to a small crisis. From Eggsy, who demanded to know how Jack was so sure and if he wasn’t aiding a wanted criminal again. And from the auction house personnel, who started a frantic investigation into how someone could have gotten in and out of the secured room. It was a mystery that was quickly solved when they pulled up the security footage from last night, which showed Nathan, dressed as someone from the cleaning crew, rounding the corner where the switched artwork was located with a cleaning cart, and reappeared with it moments later.
No one expected Nathan to strike before the auction; the thief usually operates in plain sight during the events he targets. It forced Harry, Eggsy, Jack and yourself to rethink your strategy, and you had agreed to meet up early next morning to come up with a new plan. The stiff goodbyes you’d shared with the Kingsman agents served as a cold reminder of how you’d arrived here.
And even now, as you’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, it’s an unpleasant feeling you can’t shake, a feeling that’s keeping you from sleeping more than the jetlag. Before you can think any better of it, you’re up, through the door, walking down the hallway, and knocking on Jack’s hotel room door. He opens almost immediately, and that, combined with the way he’s still dressed in yesterday’s clothes and is doing a poor job of hiding the half-empty whiskey bottle on the dresser behind him, leads you to believe he hasn’t slept a wink, either.
“Hi,” you say, brushing past him and into the room.
“You know,” he says as he closes the door, a slight slur in his voice apparent. “This isn’t how I imagined it.”
The comment throws you off. “This isn’t how you imagined what?” you ask with a frown.
He gestures towards you. “You, barging into my hotel room.”
“I—”
“Usually less clothes involved,” he interrupts with a chuckle as he walks toward the dresser and plucks the bottle off of there.
“Yeah, well…” you look down at yourself, at your sweatpants, the soft dark blue T-shirt you’re wearing, “I’m sorry this isn’t doing it for you, Jack.”
He looks up at you, cocks his head with a grin. “Oh, I didn’t say that, darlin’.”
You sigh. You’re used to this endless back and forth, the pet names, it’s what Jack does with everyone, but you’re no longer in the mood to play into his little game. “I’m not here to get you into bed, Jack.”
“Good,” he says, and he doesn’t miss a beat when he adds, “in my dreams we don’t make it to—”
“I’m here to give you one final chance to tell me what happened between you and Kingsman,” you say with a raised voice before he’s even finished.
He makes his way over to a glass table by the window where his tumbler is waiting for him, and he pours it half-full. “And what if I don’t?” he asks.
You take a deep breath. You don’t want to give him the chance to derail the conversation by hiding behind his wit. Or walking away. You’re serious, this is serious, and you want him to know it is. “If you don’t, then that means I can’t trust you.” This time, it’s you who doesn’t miss a beat when you add, “and Jack, if I can’t trust you, I can’t be your partner.” Maybe it’s a weak threat, but it’s the truth. This is your first mission together and he’s already keeping things from you. How could a partnership possibly work like this?
You’re surprised when he doesn’t immediately have a smart retort for you. Instead, your words make him freeze, and if you didn’t know better you swear it makes him sober up. You know that he can tell you’re not kidding around, can practically see the cogs turning in his head in what you assume is him making a quick list of pros and cons. After some time, he reaches for a second glass, pouring two fingers before simply asking, “Drink?”
“Depends.”
He thrusts the glass in your direction. “Take the drink and sit down.” He gestures towards one of the leather chairs next to the table, but you stand your ground, looking at his extended arm but not taking the drink from his hand. “Please,” he says, and with the way his voice slightly goes up at the end, it’s almost a question.
You can’t help but raise an eyebrow at that, and your legs are walking you towards him before you’ve even really accepted his invitation. You take the glass from him and plop down in the chair with a huff. You still can’t really tell if he’s serious, so you wait for him to speak.
Jack brings the glass to his mouth, throwing its contents back with one big gulp before refilling it and taking a seat himself. His hand moves up to his face, two fingers rubbing along his moustache as he looks at you and gnaws at his lip. “I erm— It’s not—” Then he averts his gaze, and after a beat of silence he settles on, “It’s a long story, though.”
You’re taken aback, not used to seeing him like this. You’ve gotten to know Jack as charming, confident, cool, but while he is stuttering out his reply, the flush in his neck creeps up to his face, and his shell seems to be cracking. He is flustered, maybe even anxious, and you have a feeling that he’s not exaggerating when he says that it’s a long story.
You nip at your drink, the oaky taste with hints of vanilla settling pleasantly in your mouth before burning down your throat. “I have plenty of time to listen.”
And so you do. You listen to him explain how Kingman and Statesman worked together to stop Poppy Adams and take down her toxic drug empire. But that, somewhere along the mission, his personal feelings got in the way. After purposefully breaking a vial of the antidote they’d stolen from one of Poppy’s facilities on Mont Blanc, he had been shot in the head by Harry, who suspected him of being a traitor. Luckily, Eggsy had reacted quickly by using Alpha-Gel, effectively saving his life. (“Even got the battle scars to prove it,” he says, pointing at the scar on the side of his face). The next thing he remembered was waking up in Kentucky, where Ginger brought his memory back. He followed the Kingsman agents to Poppy’s hideout in Cambodia, where he nearly kept them from releasing the antidote worldwide, before they overpowered him and brought him back to the States in cuffs. Naturally, he was suspended indefinitely.
Throughout his story, you’re dead silent, hanging onto his every word as you sip your drink.
“Guess I kept this from you for so long ‘cause… I didn’t want this partnership to end before it properly began. But with you comin’ in here at two in the mornin’, demandin’ to know the truth or else, I figured…” He pauses with a sigh, face twisting into a something you can’t quite place. “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”
Your brain is failing to process all this information at once, and Jack takes your silence as a prompt to continue,
“And I hate it. ‘Cause for the first time in a long time, I was havin’ some fun again.” He nods at his own statement, then looks up at you, his eyes searching your face. “When we were training together and you picked up on everything I was doin’… You anticipatin’ all my moves made me wanna anticipate all o’your moves, to become attuned to you and your…your stupid little knives.” His smile falters, and there’s that look again. “I mean, we’re a good team, aren't we?”
Jack’s always chatty, but the way he’s talking right now he’s being downright loquacious. It’s probably on account of the whiskey, but it still makes you choose your words carefully, unable to be as blunt or demanding as you were earlier. “All of that training stuff,” you begin, “I think it means nothing if we can’t be honest with each other.” You pause, so your words can really land with him, before asking, “Can I trust you to do that?”
“After all that, can you trust me to do that?” He’s making that face again, and the flush on his cheeks is back and—
Oh.
Oh.
You completely forget about his question because suddenly you can place the look on his face: He’s ashamed.
He’s ashamed and he thinks you’ll see him differently from this point on and that that’s why— Wait. Do you? The weight of his story is starting to catch up to you. Because holy shit, the Poppy Adams situation last year was intense. You remember the TV broadcastings, the utter chaos across the globe, but nothing about Cambodia that could have made you connect the dots previously. Had Jack succeeded when he went after Harry and Eggsy to stop them from releasing the antidote, millions of people would have died – literally millions. Which— Yeah, that’s a lot to process. Your partner almost played a key part in allowing that to happen…
Almost.
Because here he is, all the tell-tale signs of shame suddenly apparent; the way he’s turned away from you, how his eyes keep darting away from yours, the red splotches on his neck, his quivering Adam’s apple. However, you also know that feeling ashamed isn’t the same as feeling guilty. You can feel ashamed over something that you’ve done, freeze and feel your gut twist at the memory, but still feel like it was a necessary evil. Does he feel any remorse for what he’s done? Just like that, there’s only one thing that really matters, that you need to know.
“Do you regret it?” you ask. He’s silent, and as you watch his finger trace the rim of his glass with a frown, you can tell that wasn’t what he was expecting, so you elaborate, “Cambodia, I mean.”
It makes his frown ease up. “All the time.”
You can feel yourself sag into the leather in relief before taking another swig from your glass. The whiskey seems to make you lose-lipped as well, because before you can really debate if you should push this any further right now, you’re firing another question at him. “Then why did you do it?”
It doesn’t sound accusatory – or you don’t mean it that way, at least. It’s simply curious, but it still makes Jack twitch, the liquid in his glass sloshing around with it. And as flushed as he was before on account of his candour and the alcohol, your question seems to drain all the colour from his cheeks.
“No, don’t—” He cuts himself off and grimaces at his own sharp tone, quickly correcting himself to something softer, “I think that’s enough story time for tonight, alright?”
It’s not enough, not really, but still you find yourself nodding, setting your empty tumbler down on the glass table that separates you. “We should...get some sleep, be prepared for tomorrow,” you say, standing up from the chair, wincing when you take note of the clock.
Jack makes a noise that somehow sounds detached; it’s not agreement, but not disagreement either. He makes no haste to get up, so you simply look down at him from where you stand. “See you in the morning?”
“Sweet dreams, darlin’,” is what he offers with a lopsided smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
You return the sentiment with some words of your own, but have a feeling it’s in vain, that his bed will stay unkempt as it is, before you let yourself out of his room. And when the door closes behind you with a soft click, you’re left with your thoughts again, and you realize the conversation has done nothing to make you sleep easier either.
--
“Excellent, there you are.”
You’re fresh out of the car that has escorted you to a tailor shop in London. It was early. So fucking early. You hadn’t slept and can still taste hints of oak and vanilla in your throat every time you swallow. But now, inside, after passing through a secret door behind one of the changing rooms in the tailor shop, Harry’s voice is warm, dare you say pleased, when Jack and yourself report for duty, and something about his optimistic tone makes you forget about the early hour and the hotel whiskey. It makes your shoulders straighten and your head cock with interest.
And you’re clearly not the only one.
“Found anything?” Jack asks.
Harry leads you to a wall full of screens, where a Kingsman agent is frantically typing on the keyboard in front of him. “One of our agents found the stolen piece for sale on the black market.” One of the screens displays some sort of advertisement on what looked like the dark web; it had several marketplaces for illegal stolen goods.
“Son of a bitch is trying to get rid of it before the auction’s even started.” Jack scoffs.
You jerk your chin at the screen. “We need to ambush him, catch him red-handed.”
“Arrange a meeting,” Jack agrees.
“Precisely,” Harry nods.
“I’ll go,” Jack says instantly.
“Fuck no.” You hadn’t even noticed Eggsy until now. He’s leaning against one of the walls, then pushes himself off, making his way over with his arms crossed over his chest. “Absolutely not. I’ll go.”
“‘course you are” Jack scoffs. “Probably couldn’t tell the difference between a watercolour and an acrylic painting to save your life.” The statement is more of a murmur, but it sets Eggsy off all the same.
“What’s that?”
“You couldn’t sell the bit, Galahad!” Jack exclaims. “We ain’t got the time to fight about this while someone else steals the piece from right under our sorry noses. I’m the most competent man for the job and this bastard has been doing this for years now, so we really should be fixin’ to get ourselves this meeting.”
It’s Eggsy’s turn to scoff. “Oh, so you can excuse mass murder, but draw the fuckin’ line at art theft, Whiskey?” He all but spits out Jack’s codename, walking up to him until their toes almost touch.
Jack’s chest rises as he takes a deep breath, no doubt firing up to counter, but before he can even open his mouth, you raise your voice.
“Alright, stop puffing your chests out at each other, Christ.” Neither of them so much as bat an eye. “Obviously we both want this target, correct? You asked for a Statesman agent with art knowledge, and well, this is him. So, let’s just work on this together, be professionals, and then be fucking done with this assignment. We send Jack to the meet—”
“No—” Eggsy immediately interrupts.
“Jack is going to the meet,” you repeat louder, giving Eggsy a look. “He’s the least likely to be made because he actually possesses the art knowledge to make it convincing and…,” you pause for a second to swallow, and the taste of whiskey still prevalent in your mouth immediately takes you back to the night before, “…and I know you don’t trust him, but I do. I can vouch for him, hell, I’ll even go with him if it makes you all feel better, but Jack goes.”
You don’t miss the way Jack’s head whips around to you, but before you can turn to meet his gaze, Eggsy is speaking again. “He’ll make you right away.”
“You have a tech guy here, right?” You ignore his statement to continue explaining your plan. Your hands land on the shoulders of the man behind the keyboard. “Pretty sure he can put together some fake credentials and create the fake online presence of a pristine, wealthy art collector – a website, social media, news articles, the works. We’ll suggest a public place to meet up, like a restaurant, all to give the target some false sense of security… and then we take him in.”
No one says anything for a while, until Harry, who had been watching the scene before him silently, finally gives his verdict, “I think it sounds like a fine plan. Get to work,” he orders the Kingsman agent behind the keyboard.
“And what about you?” Eggsy asks you, clearly displeased.
You shrug. “I don’t know, I can pose as like… a waitress?”
--
You adjust your tie in the mirror or the restaurant bathroom, then fold the collar of your dress shirt into place and smooth your hands down over the apron you’re wearing; to play the part you have to look the part. Although… You’re pretty sure the average waiter doesn’t have knives and a gun hidden away in a thigh holster under their apron. You hadn’t been entirely serious, but you were nothing if not true to your word, playing the role you’d suggested. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror before exiting the restaurant bathroom to take your position.
As you enter the restaurant, you find it’s mostly empty, just like Kingsman has arranged it to be. Your eyes find Jack, tucked away into a corner close to the door, having also done his best to look the part. His hair is in its usual side part, but somewhat slicked back, and he’s wearing a navy suit that’s much fancier than the ones he usually wears. You pass his table quickly, your eyes meeting briefly, and he nods at you once as you take your place in front of the window across from his table.
Daytime is the perfect time at a restaurant to clean the windows, right?
Your supplies to really sell your performance are already waiting for you, and you reach down to dip a cloth into the warm water, wringing it out above the bucket before bringing it up to the window. Via the glass, you can see the reflection of the table Jack’s sitting at, and the look on his face makes you want to turn to him, to reassure him one last time—
“I’ve got eyes,” Harry’s voice suddenly informs you through your earpiece. “Target approaching on foot, alone.”
Behind you, Jack sits up at the message, face transforming, relaxing, visibly slipping into the role of rich art collector. You focus yourself back on your work, rubbing the cloth along the window as your eyes search for the target through the glass. And then you see him approaching the restaurant with quick, short steps. He’s even more slender in person, but has the same pair of round glasses perched on his nose. His short, blond hair dances in the wind, and he brings one hand up to smooth it back down onto his head while the other hand carries a black briefcase.
You bring your hand up to the side of your face and press the little button on the earpiece. “Target confirmed,” you say. “Permission to continue mission?”
“Message received,” comes Harry’s reply. “Continue mission. Good luck, agents.”
Nathan enters the restaurant shortly after, and you will yourself to focus on your fake task at hand. Leaning down to wet the cloth again before getting back to work, you hear Nathan and Jack making introductions, and in the reflection you see him take his place across from Jack, setting his briefcase down next to his chair.
“I must say I’m surprised about getting an offer so soon.” Nathan checks his watch. “The auction hasn’t yet ended and the piece we discussed is… at the auction.”
“Technically,” Jack replies.
The man chuckles at that. “Technically, indeed.” He pauses, narrows his eyes. “Tell me, how did you know?”
Jack folds his hands and places them on the table as he begins his story. “Given my… reputation, I was allowed to view the pieces ahead of the auction and I found myself… distressed, when I realized my personal favourite piece was, in fact, a forgery. You see, it was damn near perfect, but then I noticed the brushstrokes; the way they were angled. I know about your…” Jack pauses, searching for the right word, “methods, and I knew I had to get in contact. Figured I could get the piece for a much better price from you than I could at any auction.”
“And how would you know about my…,” Nathan pauses, mirroring Jack’s earlier intonation, “methods?”
Shit. There’s a slight hitch in your stroke of the cloth along the window. What if he just made Jack? In the reflection you can see your partner’s look of contemplation, how he’s almost calculating what to say next and how to do it. You drop the fabric from your hand to land into the bucket by your feet, and take the dishcloth that’s slung over your shoulder to wipe your hands dry as you listen.
“I’m simply an admirer. Of this work, o’course,” Jack says, gesturing towards the briefcase next to the chair. “But also of your work.” Jack leans in, speaks softly when he asks, “Is it true, about the Chinese gu?”
Nathan doesn’t answer definitively, but his lips purse in a pleased smile before he pushes his glasses farther up his nose. “You’ve done your homework.” He sounds impressed, and you can’t help but be amused at the way Jack’s feeding this guy exactly what he needs to hear right now.
Leaning back in the chair, Jack matches the other man’s expression and gives him a casual shrug. “Told you, I’m an admirer.” He pauses, eyes drifting down to the case next to the chair, then asks, “Can I see the piece?”
There’s a long moment where Nathan doesn’t answer, but then, without a word, he reaches for the briefcase, clicks it open and gives Jack a view of the artwork inside.
Jack whistles. “Gorgeous,” he says, looking up at Nathan with an impressed smile. “Your replica looks just like it.”
Nathan smiles proudly, and you know you’ve got him when you hear what he says next, “You won’t believe how easy it is, especially with these smaller pieces.” He seems to catch himself, too; cheeks flushing the slightest bit before he’s checking his watch again. “Listen, I hate to cut this short, but I have another appointment; let's wrap this up, shall we?”
Jack shifts, looking down as if he’s contemplating the question. “I don’t think so.” He reaches inside of his suit jacket, produces his gun from its holster and points it at Nathan under the table, removing the safety with a soft click. “You’re gonna come outside with me – calmly, quietly, no need to make a fuss – and we’re gonna make sure every bit of stolen artwork is gonna go back to their rightful owners.”
Across from him, Nathan moves fast – surprisingly fast. He pulls his own gun from his jacket, points it at Jack. “Do you think I’d come here unprepared? I’ll tell you how we’re gonna do this: You’re gonna let me walk—”
As he talks, you glance over your shoulder, take in their positions, guns out but hidden from view of the rest of the restaurant. You look at Jack, and he doesn’t look at you, but his head jerks in a short nod. You turn away again, hand slipping under your apron, fingers flitting over one of the smaller blades in the holster before slowly slipping it out of the leather.
“—I mean, what’s your plan, hmm?” Nathan asks. “To shoot me here? For everyone to see? Whether you’re law enforcement or not, I know you’re not gonna do that.”
Jack’s grip on his gun tightens. “And you are?”
You turn and bend down, and to the untrained eye it would look like you were about to tie your shoelaces. During your movement, you swing the knife and throw it towards the table in front of you. There’s a soft swoosh, and then the knife lands in Nathan’s thigh with a squelching sound. He yelps, reaches for his leg, and in the process, the gun drops from his hand. Jack catches it effortlessly before it can clatter to the ground, then kicks at the bottom of Nathan’s chair. It sends the man tumbling backwards, the wood hitting the floor with a thump. You’re back on your feet in no time, rushing over to shield the man from the view of the few people in the restaurant, shoulder to shoulder with your partner who had the same idea.
“Oh, sir! Are you okay?” you ask, kneeling down to pull the knife from his thigh. He keens in response as you hide the blade away in the pocket of your apron.
“Oof,” Jack says, making a face and holding the lapels of his jacket as he looks down at the squirming man at his feet. “Came clattering down harder than a screen door in a storm.”
“I know,” you say with faux-concern, taking a hold of Nathan’s hand and pressing it down over the wound with a wet sound. “That was quite a fall! Let’s get you up, we should get you some air. Come on.” He struggles against you, but with a firm grip on his arm, you still him, then haul him onto his feet. You look at Jack with a knowing grin. “Sir, can you help me get this man outside?”
--
You find yourself watching from below the overhang of the restaurant, sheltered from the London weather, as Jack escorts Nathan to Harry and Eggsy, who are waiting by a dark car. As Eggsy helps Nathan into the backseat, Harry sticks his hand out at Jack, who contemplates the gesture for a split-second before taking Harry’s hand and shaking it. They exchange some words, briefly look in your direction, but you’re too far away to really make out what they’re saying. Eggsy closes the car door and watches the two agents, seemingly contemplating if he’s going to follow his colleague’s example, and you can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief when he does. Jack says his goodbyes in the form of a two-finger salute, then turns to make his way to you.
“Well?” you ask when he stands next to you, leaning back against the window as you both watch the car drive off. “Did we save the art world?”
“Close enough,” he says. “Harry said to thank you on Kingsman’s behalf, and that they’ll handle it from here on out. They just… want our mission reports within the week.”
You groan, eyes closing and shoulders dropping at the reminder. “That was the one thing I hadn’t missed about going on missions…”
Jack grunts softly, in agreement, you think, then says, “Think it was a successful first assignment together?”
“I’d say all the training’s paid off,” you say, shifting and knocking your shoulder against his. “Be sure to mention that in your mission report, yeah?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jack chuckles shortly, then shuffles his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Been meanin’ to ask you… Did you mean what you said earlier? ‘Bout trustin’ me?”
You look at him, trying to determine whether he’s really asking or just being a dick, but he keeps looking straight ahead, his expression giving nothing away.
“I did.” You pause before adding, “I wouldn’t be much of a partner if I didn’t, right?”
He cracks, the corners of his mouth turning upwards, a slight hint of a smile appearing. He looks at you from the corner of his eye. “You are a good liar…”
You can’t help but match his expression, thinking back to how exasperated he looked in the red flickering lights of the training space days ago. “I’m not that good.”
He’s quiet after that, head tipping down to look at his shoes as his eyebrows knit together and his tongue comes out to wet his lips. It feels tense, suddenly, and you don’t know if it’s because you said something you shouldn’t have. Does he not believe you? Maybe it’s just your imagination. You think of something to say to break the tension, or to at least change the subject.
“It was my wife,” Jack suddenly says, head shooting up to look directly ahead again and straightening his back.
Your mouth opens, then closes, seriously doubting if you’ve heard him right. With a confused shake of your head, you ask him, “Sorry, what was that?”
He clears his throat. “My wife. She’s why I turned on the agency.”
You frown, even more confused than before. “You never told me you’re married.”
He’s pausing again and your heartbeat picks up, cheeks heating at the idea that he has mentioned his wife and that you simply forgot. It’s just that Jack… He didn’t seem to be the type to be in a serious relationship. You rack your brain, going over the interactions you’ve had with him and scanning for the word ‘wife’ or ‘spouse’ or—
“Was,” he corrects. “It was years ago and... she died.”
—oh.
There had been so much emotion in his voice, and it’s all so unexpected that he knocks the absolute wind out of you with it. He almost doesn’t look like himself when he finally looks at you. He takes a breath before he continues, “Two methamphetamine users killed her durin’ a robbery. She was pregnant with our son and… and I guess, in my fucked up mind, that justified—”
“Stop,” you say. “You were right earlier. It’s— You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me.”
“You were right,” he presses. “And I thought you oughta know it, ‘cause I—” He stops himself with a bitter chuckle before continuing, “Christ, this is gonna sound so fuckin’ cheesy, but… The whole thing in Cambodia, that’s not who I wanna be. I wanna be… better, y’know? Do the right thing, be a good agent, not be a shitty partner, the whole nine yards, and I… I’ve been thinking on it and I think it starts with trust.” He cocks his hip, hooks his fingers in his belt loops, and it might have been somewhat funny if he didn’t look so bashful when he peers up at you after. “And me workin’ on my communication skills and bein’ earnest, which I’m honest to God tryin’ my damnedest at right now,” he adds with a hint of a smile. “That sound acceptable to you?”
Blinking up at him, you let his words wash over you. You had truly meant it when you said you trusted him back in the hotel, and with the way he is standing across from you, all but wearing his heart on his sleeve, you trust him to be truthful and genuine with you now. There is only one answer you could give him.
“Yes.
#agent whiskey#agent whiskey x reader#jack daniels x reader#agent whiskey x you#jack daniels x you#kingsman the golden circle#kingsman 2#pedro pascal#cowboy like me fic#dani writing#(screaming) i can't believe its real and here!!!
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Into the Darkness / Part 2
The Darkling x Reader
A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s literally just lemon zest 🍋 ... I have a vision of Ben Barnes in his black Kefta and riding boots permanently stuck in my brain right now. Attempting to write it right out of there.
Warnings: 18+ please due to NSFW content. Some dom/sub interaction, being restrained, coercion, questionable consent (thankfully this takes place in a fantasy universe), sexual content including oral, loss of virginity, rough unprotected* sex. I don’t mention her actual age, but Reader is not underage.
*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.
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[My GIF]
Your stomach clenched as now you knew what was going to happen next. You’d naively thought that perhaps he would allow you to sleep for the rest of the night. But judging by the predatory look on his face, that was not to be.
You took another sip of your water, you were having a little trouble swallowing as your throat felt raw from your earlier activity. He had taken to pacing again. He glanced over at you, stopping mid-stride.
“Hurry up!” he bit out.
You tried to take bigger gulps of the water, but started coughing. His face showed angry impatience. “What’s wrong with you?”
You tried not to whine as you said, “My throat is very sore, moi soverennyi.”
His face softened a little. “Very well, but don’t take all night. I need to have you. Now.”
Again, your stomach coiled in on itself. Yes, your throat was sore, but you were absolutely trying to stall.
Finally, the glass was empty, and you couldn’t put this off any longer. You shimmied back onto the bed, and lay down with your head on the soft pillows. You tried to appear calm, but underneath you were a seething ocean of nerves. Your stomach was heaving, your heart was pounding, your breathing was ragged.
“At last!” He lazily applauded you, the sound of his clapping hands ratcheting up your nerves even more. He moved to the lamps in the room and dimmed them.
He approached the bed, swirling open his Kefta as he reached you. You closed your eyes, and felt the mattress dip as first he knelt on it, then quickly moved astride you. “Open your eyes, girl!” he demanded, and you forced your eyelids to lift, chewing on your lip and meeting the slate-coloured stare looking down at you.
Once more, he undid his fly and laid aside his trousers and underwear. His cock was ramrod stiff again, and even although this was the second time you’d seen it in this state, you drew in a large breath. It just looked so huge. He was going to damage you, you were sure of it. He took in your wide-eyed, anxious look at his cock, and laughed out loud.
“You’re obviously nervous about this,” gesturing at his erect length, “...so I’m not going to prolong things.” He started moving closer to you, and you shrank back into the pillows. He laughed again. “Now come on, girl! The last thing I need is for you to pass out when I enter you,” he mocked. “Normally there is some enjoyment to be had before the deed, but you are so full of nerves that I’m going to take you now.... and I mean immediately. We can explore all the other options later.”
This did absolutely nothing to calm you down.
You realised that he was not going to get undressed, he was even still wearing his riding boots. You fleetingly wondered if he wasn’t prepared to let himself be the least bit vulnerable in front of you, while you were left to carry the anxiety and stress of losing your virginity to him all on your own. It didn’t seem fair. He was in fact being very businesslike about taking it, but he still had that ferocious gleam in his eyes, so perhaps he wasn’t as circumspect about it as he appeared.
He suddenly lunged at you, grabbing the hem of your robe with both hands and ripping it in two, catching you by surprise and leaving you gasping in fear. He pulled your shoulders up off the bed and pushed the robe down over them. He stilled for a few seconds, staring hungrily at your breasts, before pulling the robe out from under you and tossing it to the floor.
You belatedly tried to shield your breasts from his gaze with your hands, but he shook his head. “No! You don’t hide anything from me, you understand?” He pulled your hands away, and you let your arms fall limply onto the mattress. “Answer me!” he barked. “I understand, moi soverennyi,” you said feebly.
His large hands descended on your breasts, fingers roughly grasping at them for a few seconds before he leant over you, sucking and biting one of your nipples. He grabbed the other one and rolled it, hard, between his finger and thumb. You yelped, surprised at the arousal you felt.
Moving to your linen underwear, it was also ripped off you. Your mind wondered what on earth you’d wear tomorrow. His head dipped, and you almost screamed out loud when you felt his tongue between your legs. You tightly clenched your thighs together, shutting him out.
He sat up very suddenly and you thought for a second that he might slap you, but he merely said, “Open your legs again for me, little dove.” You whimpered but did as he asked. His head returned between your thighs, that tongue of his delving right into your core. You noticed that he was paying special attention to one particular part of your anatomy and every time his tongue travelled over it, a shock of pleasure shot through you.
After a few moments, he sat back on his knees, stroking his cock and spreading his precum over it as he did so. You followed his every move, mesmerised and afraid.
He leant towards you, saying in a low voice, “You’re starting to get wet. Do you feel that?” He grabbed one of your hands and brought it to what felt like a furnace heating up between your legs. You felt the wetness there. He continued, “The wetter you are, the easier it is for both of us, understand?” You nodded, like a schoolgirl with her teacher.
Staring intensely at you, he said, “You understand that my cock’s going to be completely inside you like before, just in a different location this time?” “Yes,” you replied. “It’s going to be there the whole time. I won’t be pulling out, even if you have pain. You just need to take it, do you hear? No refusing or trying to get away. And - listen to me, this is very important - there is one thing I require above all else. Are you listening?”
Again you nodded, “I’m listening, moi soverennyi.”
“I need you to really like taking it rough, hard and fast.” Your eyes dropped, that sounded too painful for your liking. He forced your chin up until your eyes met again, “And the best way for you to get used to it, is to have it that way your first time. This simply means that you won’t know any differently. So that’s how this is going to happen, and there will be no argument from you. You agree to obey?”
Your breathing hitched, you felt even more nervous than before if that was possible. Nevertheless you nodded, acquiescing in what was to be your fate. You couldn’t afford to displease this man.
He shrugged, “It’s just a matter of logistics, I just don’t have time for niceties. So I need you to be ready for me whenever I want to fuck you.”
He’d been distracting you by talking to you. Before he’d even finished speaking, you felt his tip between your legs and he immediately began sinking into you. You gasped and started whimpering, but he kept pushing, pushing, pushing into you without respite. You were so tense that he wasn’t making too much headway.
You heard an exasperated sigh, felt hands on your shoulders and then you were being shaken back and forward, like a naughty child. “Relax! You need to stop resisting me.” He sounded angry, impatient. You nodded, anxiously trying to comply. The feeling of pressure as he started pushing into you began once again.
You felt it all - every inch - as he pushed very roughly right inside you. As he did, you felt a very sharp pain in your abdomen and started to cry out, but it was quickly muffled by one of his hands pressing over your nose and mouth. He again thrust fully inside you, and the pain spiked once more. Thankfully it then began to subside, which was just as well as he’d immediately begun to roughly thrust into you at a ferocious pace. His hand was still blocking your gasps and cries, and tears were once again running down your face. The fingers of his other hand were biting into the flesh over your hip. Rutting into you, he was also gasping and groaning but managed to keep the volume down.
You felt as if he was never going to stop. He just kept on and on, and eventually you didn’t even have the energy to scream and cry any longer. Then you felt him tense up, his thrusts became jerky, and you felt the same rush of warmth inside your body as you’d felt in your throat earlier on.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
He pulled out of you, sitting beside you and reaching across to grab the damp washcloth from the bedside table. He quickly ran it around and over his cock and then tucked himself back into his trousers. Then he ran the washcloth over your lower body and legs, and you saw some streaks of blood on the cloth. I was right, you thought, he did damage me. He also saw the blood, and you saw a small smile appear on his lips. He began speaking to you as he continued to cleanse you, the grey eyes regarding you, his face serious.
“Good, very good - I’m pleased with you. You took my cock well, and apart from at the very start, didn’t fight it. It’s the best plan of action for you, little dove. Remember that. Never resist, just take it inside you without question when I want to fuck you, and things will go well between us.”
You nodded, but you were also annoyed at yourself. You’d felt pleased when he praised you. This guy had just taken your virginity - yes you’d agreed but not willingly - but now you were also happy about it? Your conflicted feelings really confused you.
Pouring another glass of water, he encouraged you to sit up and drink it. You struggled further up the bed and sat against the pillows, wiping the last traces of tears from your face as you did so.
You spotted your destroyed robe on the floor next to the bed, and leant down to retrieve it. It was promptly grabbed out of your hand and tossed to the far side of the room. He frowned over at you, “Now that I’ve seen you naked, that’s how I want you to be whenever we’re together.” You hung your head, nodding your understanding.
His eyes raked over your body, unashamedly staring at every inch of you. You blushed furiously; firstly, you weren’t used to anyone seeing you naked and secondly, you definitely weren’t used to anyone staring at you for so long while you were naked. Unconsciously your hands came up to cover your breasts and as before, he leant forward and pulled them away so that your breasts were visible to him again.
“No! What did I tell you??!!”
Your eyes filled again, and you whispered, “Not to cover myself, moi soverennyi.”
You picked up the glass of water and took a sip. As you did so, his hand shot out and grabbed one of your breasts, pinching the nipple as he did so. You jumped in shock, spilling your water down your chin and onto your chest. His thumb delved into the rivulet of water, rubbing the water across both of your breasts. Your nipples stiffened as the cold water hit them, and he bent down and licked the water off them and your breasts.
He sat back up, leaning forward and running his tongue over your wet chin and lips. “Put the glass down, now.” You hurried to do so, nearly missing the bedside table in your haste. “You need to get used to me touching you, woman. You’re mine to touch, wherever and whenever I want to. That’s how it is now. Understand?”
You nodded, eyes cast down. As if to further prove what he’d just said, he very deliberately placed his hands on your breasts and massaged them, for what felt like long minutes. He licked and bit your nipples while you squirmed, yelping at each touch. Suddenly his face was right in front of yours, his icy eyes staring intensely into yours.
He moved one hand downwards, and a long finger slid into you intrusively. You shot backwards, but he pulled you forward again with the hand that had remained on your breast. It returned there, and he continued roughly kneading at it, making you wince in pain. The finger inside you was joined by another one, and he thrust them abruptly in and out of you.
Suddenly his mouth was on yours, and you felt his tongue prodding at your closed lips. He drew back, “Open!” you heard, before his mouth was once again on yours. You parted your lips and his tongue slid past them into your mouth, invading it totally and moving over your own tongue.
This, combined with what his hands and fingers were busy doing, began to make you feel as if a tsunami was approaching you. You felt his thumb at your opening, rubbing, rubbing at you and suddenly that tsunami broke over you, and you screamed into his mouth, your body shuddering. He sat back, a triumphant look and a devilish smirk on his face. Your head dropped back onto the pillows, you were panting as if you’d just run a kilometre.
“That, my dear little dove, was your first orgasm. In other words, a sexual climax. Did you enjoy it?” he said in a languid tone. You looked at him, blushing deeply. There was no use lying, he could see that you did, so you nodded. “What do you say to me, hmm?” You were puzzled, “I don’t know.” He shook his head, “No manners. You thank me.” Now you understood. “Every time I give you an orgasm, you need to thank me.” “Thank you, moi soverennyi.”
A thought struck you. “Why did you call me ‘woman’ earlier? You always called me ‘girl’ before?”
“I’ve taken your virginity, and now you’re a woman, no longer a girl. But you have to learn how to behave like one. None of this shyness, jumpiness, hiding yourself. You have a beautiful, sensuous body which I will touch when I want to, and I will also have sex with you when I want to. I hope I don’t have to keep repeating this. Your duty is to submit to me always, it’s what you’ve agreed to.”
Your heart sank. He’d said ‘always’. You’d thought that maybe he’d keep you for a couple of weeks and then release you from your arrangement, and life would go back to normal.
You tried your damndest not to sigh as you said, “Yes, I did agree to that, moi soverennyi.”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
He’d lain next to you in the bed, on top of the covers while you’d sneaked under them, a chill raising goosebumps on your naked body. There was no protest from him, for which you were grateful. Your eyes drooped, you were emotionally and physically drained. You slept.
A hand was shaking your shoulder. Your eyes flew open, and for a split second you were totally disorientated. It was still dark outside. Then you saw his grey eyes staring into yours, and it all came flooding back. To put it bluntly, you were The Darkling’s new concubine.
You realised that he was now also under the covers, and with a shock, you saw bare muscled shoulders. Which meant that he was in bed with you, also naked. He’d waited until you’d fallen asleep before undressing, you thought. You tried to subtly move further away from him, but his arm snaked around your waist and dragged you against him.
“Moi soverennyi... why have you woken me?”
“Why do you think, little dove?”
You realised that this was to be your life from now on.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
#the darkling x reader#aleksander morozova#the darkling#general kirigan#shadow and bone#ben barnes#the darkling into the darkness
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P-Artsypants Fic Masterpost!
This information is always available on my blog.
Find most, if not more, of these fics on:
Fanfiction.net | Archive of Our Own | Wattpad
(~AU’s, *Finished, ❤️Author’s Favorites)
Kingdom Hearts
~❤️Rage Awakened AO3 | FF.net- Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU
My Kingdom for a Heart AO3 | FF.Net - The curse of being one of the Princesses of heart, is that there’s always someone out to get you. As Xemnas looked failure in the face, he reached out in a last ditch effort and destroyed Kairi’s heart. Now her friends must travel the worlds again. Sora, to find a way to recover Kairi’s heart, and Riku, to make amends to those he has wronged. All the while, the darkness grows. [Unfinished, on permanent hiatus]
Miraculous Ladybug
One Shots
*❤️Amalgam- When an young man is rejected for being ‘incompatible’ he turns into the akuma ‘Amalgam’ able to fuse two people together. And later Adrien and Marinette would debate if it was lucky or unlucky that they got hit. (Also Available in Russian)
*Sing We All Noel- After receiving the worst Christmas present ever from his father, Chat Noir finds himself out on the streets with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Ladybug finds him and brings him home.
*Speechless- In a world where everyone has a soulmark, the first words their soulmate will say to them, Marinette is born without one. But Adrien Agreste has two. Curious, considering he’s mute.
*❤️Tunnels of Love- The night started out with an accidental kiss from Adrien Agreste, and ended with her bleeding in the Catacombs of Paris. Ladybug, the wielder of the miraculous of good luck. Yeah right. (Some blood)
*The Reveal That Wasn’t- First Parts My ending to kittybug’s Tumblr Prompt
*What A Mess We’re In- Ladybug has a lot on her mind, and when Chat Noir bugs her enough, she tells him she’s going to confess to her Crush, Adrien Agreste. Chat’s reaction is not what she’s expecting.
*Oblivi-oh no! - A retelling of Oblivio, except Ladybug is the only one to lose her memory. How will Chat deal?
*Bad Day (3 chapters) - Marinette was Ladybug! This was Adrien’s luckiest day ever! Except it wasn’t, because all his good luck was used up in one go. Turns out this might be the worst day of his life.
*One Win, So Many Losses- Marinette was forced to break up with Adrien. It had been a low blow from Gabriel, to be sure. But she was Ladybug. She’d find a solution…right? An alternate ending to Chat Blanc, where Adrien doesn’t Cataclysm the akuma.
*❤️Five Minutes- Gabriel has had enough of all these girls fighting over Adrien. He decides it’s high time Adrien picks one, and arranges the perfect opportunity for him to do so. Each candidate has five minutes to present why they’d be a good girlfriend. Marinette decides to take this opportunity to shoot her shot.
~*Panache- Every eligible maiden was invited to the Prince’s ball. That included Marinette, scullery maid in her own household. But her stepsisters destroyed her dress, and she can’t go to the ball in rags. Or can she? (Cinderella!AU)
*Perfect, No Matter What-In which Gabriel sets the bar even lower for himself, a reveal happens because of pain medication, and the new guardian actually goes to Chloé for advice.
*Crushed- Stuck under a collapsed building together, Chat Noir and Marinette have a heart to heart.
*Lovelace- Convinced that he's unlovable, Adrien is quickly thrown for a loop when Marinette confesses her love for him out of the blue. An akumatization and reveal later, he changes his mind about being unlovable.
Long Fics
*❤️Longest Night- (FF.net | Ao3) - The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge. But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug’s identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns. Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ. (Rated M for scenes of torture)
*❤️Nine Lives- (FF.net) When Adrien Agreste is scheduled to go to a Military School in Germany, Chat Noir must make a critical decision. Does he give up his Miraculous? Or does he give up his life as Adrien? I’ll save you the trouble of guessing, he gives up being Adrien.
*Tender Words- When Marinette finally gets the guts to confess her feelings for Adrien, some things go so wrong, and other things go so right.
*Integrity- Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.
~Much Obliged- Everyone deals with grief differently. Some take to drinking, others devote themselves to charity. Adrien Agreste? Well, he became a cowboy. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a witch, one of very few in the world. She knows what it’s like to be doubted, and assumed delusional. Maybe that’s why they got along so well. Or maybe it’s just because they both like big hats. AU where everything is the same, except instead of superheroes, Adrien is a Cowboy and Marinette is a witch. (Unfinished) (Based on a AU by @bugaboo-n-bananoir)
*I’ll Handle This- “I’ll solve all your problems,” Plagg had said. “You just have to agree to it.” A fixed relationship with his father, Lila to stop bothering him, and Ladybug to fall in love with him? Who wouldn’t agree to that? Except Plagg was the God of Destruction and Chaos and had a more…hands-on approach. Adrien just wants his body back. (Body swap fic)
The Ghost of Smokey Joe- Adrien Agreste was acting bizarre. Stilted body language, plastic smile, and he seemed to have forgotten how close they were. Before she can get the truth out of him, Marinette finds herself as the sole heir to the Gabriel brand and the mansion, following the murder-suicide of both Adrien and Gabriel Agreste. The mystery continues as Tikki explains that Adrien was Chat Noir...but if Adrien is six feet under, why is Chat Noir still running around?
How To Train Your Dragon
One Shots
The Vikings Have Their Tea (FF.Net | AO3)
Arranged Marriage- Takes place at the beginning of HTTYD
❤️Breathe- Survival of the fittest
~Childhood Friends- At the Sandbox
❤️Easy Fix- In which Hiccup has a bad day
~Fashion Designer- Astrid needs a fill in
❤️Frozen- In Which Astrid takes a Dip and things get frisky (Rated M)
❤️Headache- In Which Hiccup hits his head….really hard
❤️Heir- In Which Hiccup is Picked (Longer version by FateCharms)
Illness- In Which Stoick is a dad
~Illusionist- Trick gone wrong
~In the Walls- In which there’s a poop ghost
~Knocking On The Wrong Door (2) - A chance encounter
❤️Messages- Astrid is Frustrated with Hiccup’s obliviousness
~To Mirkwood- Hiccup is not a dwarf
~Monster Falls- Hiccup and Astrid take a dip
❤️Mute- In which there’s a quiet stranger
~Music Video (ImgHS)- He didn’t expect it
❤️Operation: Lovebirds- In Which the gang makes a plan, and Hiccup gets Drunk
~Over- Too many nightmares
~Partners in Crime- A normal day at work
~Pirate- Astrid is the greatest treasure
~Prince- He doesn’t want to be a broken King
❤️Sorting Things Out- In Which Astrid gets her ducks in a row
~The Dragon and The Dame- Beauty and the Beast Au
The Pit- In Which Hiccup is rescued
Hide and Seek- Part 1
Lost and Found- Part 2
Long fics:
*❤️Infernal Responsibility- Being the son of the chief takes brains, courage, and a lot of patience. But at his father’s the request for marriage, Hiccup decides he has had enough. When he seeks out a life of ease, he runs into more than what he bargained for.
*❤️Roses and Lilies- “Astrid, you and I both know you’re much tougher than I am. You’re more brave, and a better fighter…but just for a little while…could we pretend that I’m the one protecting you?” “Oh gods yes!” (Also Available in Spanish!)
*~What the Water Gave Me- The sea is a wild and dangerous thing, something that cannot be foretold or predicted. Hiccup discovered this many years ago, in human naiveté. Yet, what was meant as a sacrifice became a new life, one like no one could comprehend. He now finds himself once more in the unknowing hands of those that sentenced him to death. He only prays things will be different this time. Merman!AU
*Parasite- Soulsnatcher Dragons are rare but deadly. But, As Hiccup finds out, it’s the eggs you have to watch out for.
*~320 State Street- Gobber’s Goods. A Hardware Store that was rumored to have everything you needed. She thought she only needed a job. Turns out, she needed a lot more than that. (A Modern AU no one asked for)
*~❤️The North Tower- When Finn Hofferson died, Astrid inherited his castle in Wales…and a whole lot more. Something sinister lurks in the North Tower.
*~❤️Boy Toy- AO3 - At the age of 21, Princess Astrid lawfully has to pick a husband. But when the perfect groom is nowhere to be found, she requests the toymaker to create one for her. It’s safe to say that everyone in the kingdom is a little concerned. (Pinocchio!AU I guess?)
No, You Go First- AO3 - The Chief of Berk was a headstrong viking, stubborn and full of pride, and willing to do whatever it takes to keep his village safe. But for a moment, he puts that aside, and listens to his son. In which Hiccup convinces his dad not to make him go through Dragon Training, and the subsequent changes that follow.
*In Due Time- AO3 - As another illness sweeps through Berk, Gothi needs another ingredient for her medicine…one that doesn’t exist anymore. Fortunately, she kept that old spell book around for such an occasion. Big Hiccup is sent to five years into the past, and his younger self sent to take his place in the future. But it’s only a few days, what could go wrong?
Trollhunters: Tales from Arcadia
❤️Arcadia or Bust- In Which Arcadia welcomes back it’s underground citizens.
Teen Titans
Oneshots:
~Big Brother- Don’t turn out the light (Horror)
Dear Jason- Bruce Writes a letter
Just Drawing- Bruce thinks about Robin
The Prisoner- Starfire is Guilty
Of Mustard and Three Foot Purple Tongues- A collection of Oneshots and Drabbles
Long Fics (*Finished):
*~❤️Carol of the Bells- High in the dark Bell Tower of Notre Dame, there lives a mysterious bell ringer. Legend tells of the angel who fell from the sky, and the curse she bares. There are few who know her true identity though; her master, the priest, and the acrobat that performs on the streets below. Based loosely on ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ RobxStar and slight BBxRae
*No Escape- Three years ago, Starfire escaped an Alien race called the Gordanians, to arrive on Earth. They’re back, and ready to put Starfire back where she belongs, behind reinforced Titanium bars. Robin’s not about to let her go…if only he hadn’t got captured first. How does it feel to be the alien, Robin?
*Now you Know My Pain- When the new Villain, Gender Bender, comes to down, the Titans find themselves in an odd situation. They’ve been turned into the opposite gender against their will! Now in order to change back, they must learn to understand the gender they’ve turned into. Rated T for obvious reasons. A great read if you’ve ever wondered why girls or guys do [blank].
*Paint it Black- Robin disappeared three months ago. Now, Jump City’s crime rate is mysteriously being taken care of by a normal, albeit strange, teenage boy who goes by the name Black. As the Titans befriend this lunatic, they begin to see a relation between him and their missing leader. Will they be able to find Robin, or will Black turn them all insane as himself? Actually, contains NO OC.
*Saving Grace- “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk upright or speak coherent sentences and all you’ll see is my mask and my voice repeating in your head…Weak. Richard Grayson, I am not tough, I am everything that you fear.” Happy Ending! Smudge of RobStar. NO Slash!
Other Fandoms
Final Fantasy XV
❤️Requiem for Pitioss-“O King. The god’s have heard your cries. Know that we weep with you. The Oracle’s calling has not yet been fulfilled. But…Lunafreya as you know her cannot return the way she was.” Noctis looked up, hopeful. “But she can return!” Canon divergence from Chapter 9. Happy ending. Some spoilers.
Final Fantasy X
I Do…I Guess? - “I would…like to ask you something.” “Shoot.” “Well…if it’s not too much…I’d like to ask you…to marry me.” Knowing what’s to come during her pilgrimage, Yuna asks Tidus to marry her, strictly for convenience and having an official next of kin, of course. Starts after Luca and how this decision would affect the rest of the story.
Beauty and the Beast
*❤️Behold the Beast- A Oneshot alternate ending to the Animated Film
Cinderella
*❤️Midnight- “When the clock strikes twelve, the spell will be broken,” the fairy godmother had warned. A retelling of the story, when Cinderella doesn’t escape the ball in time. Oneshot
*So This is Love- What if Jaq and Gus hadn’t made it in time to help Cinderella? A new twist on the ending of the classic Fairytale, and what lies beyond the story. She still gets her happy ending and her Prince, and her step family gets their just deserts.
Sleeping Beauty
*❤️A Love Song Back To Me- Maleficent saw the loophole that stared her in the face. Prince Phillip would break the curse in time, for sure. After all, he was betrothed to Aurora. So in an effort for her evil plan to stay in action, Maleficent takes care of the young prince herself. Phillip never imagined having to live off the land like the birds above. Alternate twist on the classic Disney tale.
Escaflowne
Down Feathers- Hitomi’s depressed. She’s been away from Van too long, he comes back to visit her…but what if something went wrong with the transfer? (Not finished. Never will be finished. Mwahaha) Circa 2012
*Angel’s Wounds- Fanelia’s been victorious in their most recent battle with Basrum. Unfortunately, someone is wounded and just seeks solace in his love that lives so far away. Post Anime.
Momma Look Sharp- With the war between Fanelia and Basrum finally coming to a close, the kingdom is celebrating. The young king, however, is suffering from an experience unlike any he had before. Van finally seeks solace in his wife.
#fanfiction#miraculous ladybug#ml#kingdom hearts#Final Fantasy X#final fantasy xv#sleeping beauty#cinderella#beauty and the beast#Escaflowne#httyd#how to train your dragon#trollhunters#Teen Titans
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Hey, what about a fic in which the boys see a girl competing in a motorcycle chicken race, maybe to defend the honor of her friend Star/Maria/Laddie and she really comes a half-inch from dying but wins, and one of the boys, you can choose who you want, becomes interested in her and her courage, and in the end he approaches her and discovers she's not afraid to die because she's a vampire or another supernatural being? Thanks a lot.
Honestly, as soon as I read this request I was super excited to write it 😅 I hope you like it! (I am also very tempted to write a part 2 to this, but we'll have to see 😅😂)
What's It To You?
The Lost Boys x reader
Warnings: mention of injury
Masterlist
Part Two
"Hey!" Paul's voice is loud over the bustle of the Boardwalk, the tall vampire slipping through the crowd with ease as he makes his way over to the others, lips pulled into an excited grin.
Passively curious, as always, David turns to face the blonde, taking a drag from his cigarette as he does so, holding the pungent smoke in his lungs longer than necessary simply because he enjoys the slight burning feeling. Marko and Dwayne step up beside him, waiting for their friend to get closer, their previous activities forgotten for the time being.
"Where've you been, Paul?" David crawls as the taller vampire finally comes within earshot, exhaling the smoke as he speaks.
"Around." The blonde responds vaguely, waving a hand at the surroundings, "You'll never guess what I just heard, though."
"What?" Marko questions, curiosity getting the better of him as he bites his thumb, watching Paul collect himself.
"There's some new girl in town, some biker chick. They've been saying she's got a death wish, but she's good at what she does. Apparently she's never lost a chicken race, and will take on anyone." Paul informs them, frowning as the others look unconvinced, "What?"
"How is that supposed to be interesting? People come and go all the time, and they've always got some sort of reputation in tow behind them." Dwayne shrugs, dark eyes boring into his friend.
"Yeah, but this one's different. She's a friend of Star's." Paul tries to convince them, knowing that the dark-haired girl is a certain weakness of David's.
"Star's friend? And she never told us?" Marko interjects, lifting an eyebrow.
"Why would she? She'd have known that we'd be annoyed." Dwayne supplies, running a hand through his hair.
David shoots him a sharp look.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"We all know that none of us can stand the idea of someone being a better rider than us, especially if it's someone we know, at least by extension."
"Can we at least go check it out? Apparently they hang out at the old skate park." Paul asks, staring hopefully at David.
The platinum blonde frowns for a minute longer, before sighing and throwing his cigarette butt to the floor, grinding it out with the heel of his boot.
"Fine, let's go." He grudgingly agrees, slightly curious himself, though there's no way he'll show that to them.
Paul whoops in excitement, the four of them mounting their motorcycles and revving the engines, taking off up the road to the abandoned skate park.
*
Loud music greets them as they pull up at the end of a long line of other motorbikes, cheering and roaring engines coming from a little way away, where a large ring of fire barrels have been set up. A thick crowd of people have gathered around these, screaming in excitement every few minutes, the smell of alcohol and motorcycle fuel incredibly potent, even from the distance between them.
Dismounting, the boys head over to the crowd, easily falling into the heaving throng, no one's attention on anyone but the two riders in the centre of the long ring. A pair of motorcycles are positioned at each end, one of them an expensive sports bike, the other a more stripped back racer, the two figures sat astride the vehicles each clad in dark riding leathers, one wearing a helmet, the other handing theirs back to someone nearby. David has to bite back a quick frown as he notices the person taking the helmet is Star, blue eyes easily zeroing in on the young girl as she giggles and takes the headwear from the other rider.
All four of the boys find themselves transfixed by this rider, surprised to see her removing the leather jacket covering her shoulders to reveal bare arms, her gloved hands revving the engine of the racer below her loudly. From this distance, they can only just see her grinning features, voice clear and confident as she calls out to her opponent, apparently very confident. Naturally, there's a heavy scent of motorcycle fuel and sweat clouding the area, but even from here, the boys have noticed the strange reek lingering in the air, the stench somewhat akin to that of a damp animal. Confused they can only assume it's coming from her, though it is not necessarily clear.
Someone steps out into the centre of the ring, an arm raised above their head.
The two riders lower themselves into their seats, engines roaring again as they get ready to move. The crowd falls silent for a moment, listening to the baying of the motorcycles, breaths held all over the park.
In a second, the arm has dropped and the motorcyclists are off, tyres biting at the ground as they go. Cheers of encouragement and ecstasy roll off of the crowd, the noise a deafening wall of sound as the bikes race towards each other. Enraptured, the boys can only watch as the gap between the riders narrows, neither of them letting up even an inch.
With their enhanced vision, the boys can see the helmetless rider tightening her grip on the handlebars, ramping up the acceleration as the vehicle jumps into a faster gear. Her smirk is still in place, no evidence of fear visible on her admittedly pretty face, her muscles somehow quite loose as she guides the bike ever closer to her opponent, who has gone tense, the grip on the bars tight and uncomfortable. The gap has now decreased to around ten metres, the distance rapidly reducing.
Seven metres goes by with no wavering from either.
Five metres goes by with only a single jerk from the helmeted rider.
At four, the panic starts to set in, the crowd roaring in anticipation, going crazy as they watch the two riders heading into a certain crash.
Three, and the helmeted rider is definitely swerving now.
And finally, at two, they pull to the side completely, the bike skidding on the floor and throwing them to the ground near the other's front tyre.
The helmetless rider has to jerk their bike to the side to avoid hitting their opponent, the movement harsh and uncontrolled as they do so. As with the other, the tyres don't keep up the traction and give out, the rider going flying as they jump off to get clear of the vehicle, their body crashing roughly to the tarmac. For a moment she remains motionless on the floor, unmoving and almost lifeless, body limp near the stuttering shape of her motorcycle.
The crowd goes quiet again, unsure of whether or not the winner is actually alright.
After a moment, however, the girl sits up, whooping triumphantly as the crowd goes wild, many of them rushing forwards to embrace her and clap her on the back, congratulating her. Star is amongst them, the girl pulled down to her friend as she wraps her in a tight hug, the two appearing much closer than the boys originally thought.
"Come on, let's get Star." David mutters, gesturing for the boys to follow him, not quite noticing as Dwayne slips past them, moving on into the crowd towards the rider.
The brunette had found himself mesmerized by her performance, both terrified for her life and sure that she would be fine, her courage and recklessness unrivalled by anyone, bar Paul. Something about the way she had ridden directly at the opponents with no appearance of letting up had struck a chord deep within him. Even now, as he steps into her vicinity (trying to ignore the pungent reek surrounding her) he has to look her over, appreciating her natural beauty as she turns her eyes on him, the crowd having dissipated to watch the next race.
"Can I help you?" She calls out to him, voice clear and confident.
"Oh, I was just wondering where you learnt to ride like that. It's very impressive." Dwayne responds politely, approaching her carefully.
"Grew up doing it." She shrugs, dusting herself down, "But thank you. I had someone's honour to defend. A friend's."
The girl turns to walk away, grabbing her motorcycle as she starts heading over to a nearby group of others, the leader of the group, a tall muscular man with black hair, shot with silver, whose dark eyes bore into him from the guy's position a good few metres away, reaching out to greet her.
"You got a death wish?" Dwayne calls out to her before she can reach them.
"What's it to you?" The girl sends him a look over her shoulder.
"Well, you ride like you don't care whether or not you might get seriously injured or not."
"That's because I don't care."
"And why is that?" Dwayne frowns curiously.
She chuckles, thinking for a minute.
"Lets just say I heal very quickly." She smirks, looking back at him, making sure she has his attention before suddenly flashing her eyes at him.
Shocked, Dwayne feels his eyes widen at the amber glow emitting from the bright depths, blinking when it disappears.
Still smirking, the girl gives him a wave and heads off to the others, revving up her bike and falling in line with them.
"Catch you later, Bloodsucker!" She calls out to him, pulling on her jacket as the others around her laugh and whoop in excitement, their bikes swiftly carrying them off into the darkness.
At that moment, the connection is formed, and he realises what exactly he just witnessed. Clenching his jaw, he goes back to Star and the boys, instantly confronting the former.
"Why the hell are you friends with a werewolf?! "
#the lost boys#joel schumacher#vampire#david(thelostboys)#kiefer sutherland#paul(the lost boys)#dwayne(the lost boys)#santa carla#marko(the lost boys)#star(the lost boys)
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C2E141
One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware.
- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing... 😭
- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...
- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)
- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”
- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....
- If I end up crying over wizards, look away
- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud ���
- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER
- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much
- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much
- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK
- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet
- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf”
- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this 🥺
- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??
- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.
- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)
- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...
- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL
- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay
- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm
- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH
- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...
- EADWULF???? HELLO?????
- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle 🤝 Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle
- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????
- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!
- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it
- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him 😭
- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY
- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional... 😭
- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man
- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....
- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....
- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!
- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*
- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD
- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam
- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy
- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly
- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude
- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo
- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves
- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them
- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL
- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in
- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!
- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance
- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card
- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding
- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them
- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?
- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family
- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT
- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this 😭
- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well
- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain
- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye 😭
- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!
- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well
- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO
- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional
- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH
- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww
- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!
- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again 😭
- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH
- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title
- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....
- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!
- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way
- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO
- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???
- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch?
- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already
- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much
- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha 😭
- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”
- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...
- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART
- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭
- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL
- So... I may or may not be crying again
- Shadowgast with a steel chair??
- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love 😭
- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though
- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy 😭
- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo
- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much
- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME
- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.
- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?
Good night 💗
#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#c2e141#critical role#my liveblogs#cr2#i genuinely can't believe this is the end y'all... what a journey. what a freaking journey 💗#to anyone who has ever interacted with even one of my liveblogs: i love you and i think about you every damn day dfghjkflf#it makes me Emo knowing that i'm not just speaking to the void and that there are ppl out there listening etc#also this liveblog was TWO THOUSAND WORDS LONG i checked it in a google doc sgdhjkdl#so if you made it through all that you may be entitled to financial compensation#but in all seriousness: i love you mighty nein. and thank you for everything.#is it thursday yet?#queue#(i always queue these for the mornings dgfhjk!)#and yes i WILL be liveblogging campaign 3#also mayhaps this hiatus will be time for me to catch up with vox machina?
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Just a post-Aeor fic where Caleb buys a house with Beau and Yasha in Rexxentrum, becomes a professor, and learns how to be a person and protect people from what he has endured.
Content warnings: Caleb's backstory (a lot of it)
Chapter summary: Caleb's mind was in overdrive. There were so many calls to make, so many spells to prepare, so many things that could go wrong at every stage of this delicate operation, so many plans and backup plans and backup plans for backup plans. He could not let the past repeat itself.
Chapter notes: Say hello to a major plot arc. Also, I did my best to figure out a vague layout of the relevant parts of Rexxentrum but I am bad with directions, so *finger guns*
Chapter title from Eight by Sleeping At Last.
****
Chapter 6: I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence
Caleb’s scars itched as he headed home from the Academy, mind buzzing uncomfortably. His hands were somehow steady as he messaged Beauregard.
“Beauregard. I had an unsettling conversation with Astrid and Wulf. Two Volstrucker students are missing. Felix and Nicolaus. Evocation wizards. May have self-orphan orders.” He realised belatedly that he had forgotten to ask Astrid for a description. Also, he hoped Beauregard never told anyone he had used the term self-orphan. He’d made himself a little queasy in his haste to keep to the word limit.
“I’ll make sure the Soul keeps an eye out. And I’ll get a description from Astrid in the morning. Get over here. Dinner’s ready.”
Beau and Yasha kept the conversation flowing over dinner, absolving Caleb of that social responsibility. He felt useless, sitting here while there were two boys out there somewhere, who were possibly in the process of deciding whether or not to kill their parents based on an implanted memory of treason. If they weren’t found in time, Caleb wasn’t sure he could ever forgive himself.
The two women hugged him goodnight after dinner, and he shook so hard he feared he would collapse. Yasha held onto him a little longer than she had probably planned, while Beauregard stepped back to take a look at him.
“Caleb.” She had that tone, the one what told him he looked like shit but she was trying not to freak him out. “Maybe you should take a spare room on this side tonight.”
“I’m all right, Beauregard.” He knew he sounded ridiculous. “Hear me out. Please.” Beauregard tilted her head in a silent challenge. “I need to think. I need to process this. I need to come up with plans for every possible outcome. And I may need to make some calls.”
“Do you want to talk it out?”
“I would like to be alone. Just for tonight. We will talk tomorrow.”
Beauregard looked for a moment like she was going to argue, and then she quite intentionally relaxed her shoulders. “Okay. You’ll tell us if you need anything, right?”
“Ja, of course.”
Yasha gave him one last squeeze. “We mean it. Anything.”
“I know. Danke.”
Caleb escaped to his bedroom. He forced himself to slow down a bit, take deep breaths, and get dressed for bed. He settled under the covers, slowly circling his palm over the quilt and feeling the different animal patterns. He’d already committed them to memory. But, on a night like this, it helped to know that what he thought was reality before was still reality now.
What a fucking mess. Before he could get too deep into his head, he messaged Caduceus.
“Hallo, Caduceus. Two of Trent’s students are missing. We suspect memories may have been modified. If we locate them, are you available to help us?”
There was a short pause; Caduceus was probably weighing his response, aware that he would not be able to track the wordcount once he began to speak. “Of course. Let me know when I’m needed. If you could spare a teleport, that would be great.”
Caleb cast the spell again. “I will give you a head’s up when I need you and then grab you from the Grove. Danke. Today has been… a lot.”
“Get some rest, Caleb. I left some sleepy tea in your kitchen if you need it. I’ll be here when you need me.”
That was one problem handled. Caleb burned through another Sending.
“Astrid, Caduceus is on call to correct any memory modification. Beauregard will be in touch with you tomorrow to get their descriptions.”
“Danke. I will ensure the Cobalt Soul is adequately informed. Now go to bed.”
Caleb let him feel her unspoken concern for him, just for a moment. Maybe one day they could be friends again. He curled up beneath the covers and closed his eyes. He would have to ensure he packed Counterspell and Sending every day. Perhaps Hold Person would also be useful. Control Flames would also not go amiss, just in case. And Expeditious Retreat or Fly would be useful in case time was of the essence at any point. Suggestion could be useful if they had the chance to talk. Running through spells he should prepare made him feel a bit better about how little control he had over this.
He was still losing his mind a little bit.
“Caleb,” came Essek’s voice, pumping air into Caleb's lungs. “Apologies. I meant to message earlier. I’m safe. Saved a child’s pet cat from a tree. He hugged me. Strange. How was your day?”
“Intense.” Caleb wasn’t sure how much to say, and he would definitely have to burn more spells to go into any detail. “Astrid promised to find a venue for the ex-Volstrucker support group. Two boys are unaccounted for. We are concerned. They are… almost graduates.”
Before Caleb could decide whether to say more, Essek Sent again. “Are you all right? Can I help with anything?”
“Not right now. We will… see how this pans out. They’re from Blumenthal, and I didn’t hear anything when I was there. May have time.” Caleb burnt another of his own spells before Essek did. “I have Caduceus on standby and Beauregard will talk to the Soul tomorrow. We may have a chance. I hope.”
“I will come in a heartbeat if you need me. Keep me updated. Get some rest if you can. Goodnight. You are in my thoughts.”
It helped, just a bit. Caleb still tossed and turned for a while, unable to turn his brain off. But things were… maybe they were manageable. He had half a mind to take himself to Blumenthal tomorrow, find out where the boys’ parents lived and get them somewhere safe. Or maybe he could… no, they would not handle a stranger showing up at their door in the dead of the night very well.
****
Astrid came to the house the following morning, with sketches for Beauregard to distribute to the Cobalt Soul. It was odd to sit on the couch with her. Like friends would.
“Eadwulf is in the city with the Volstrucker we could mobilise,” she said. “If either of them come to Rexxentrum, between us and the monks, we will find them. I spoke to my guard contact; the families are okay.”
“Have we considered evacuating them?” asked Caleb. The thought had kept him up for a long time last night. Maybe it was the best option.
There was a flicker of discomfort across Astrid’s face for the barest of seconds. “I don’t trust the Crownsguard to handle a delicate mission like that. It would be up to us. Or perhaps the Soul, but I’m already stretching our relationship with them.”
“Yudala Fon knows the stakes,” said Caleb. “If you are not comfortable visiting Blumenthal yourself…”
“Are you?”
“I have been once. I can bear it again to save half a dozen lives.”
They both knew it wasn’t just the parents whose lives were in danger. If Felix and Nicolaus followed through on this and were not stopped…
Well, Caleb had lost eleven years, and then another six running and running and running. Astrid and Wulf had lost their freedom as well. And Caleb could not even begin to comprehend the special kind of pain it would bring these boys if they murdered their parents only to discover Trent had been in prison for weeks, his crimes exposed, his orders no longer in effect. Caleb wasn’t sure he could have survived that.
Astrid must have understood what Caleb was feeling, because she spoke gently. “It is an option. We could also leave them in place under guard to draw the boys out.”
“I would rather not.” Caleb could already conjure a dozen scenarios in which that could go horribly wrong. “Astrid, we cannot fuck this up. You and I both know these boys could overpower a Crownsguard, or sneak past a security detail. No risks. We have to move the families.”
Astrid opened her mouth to respond, and then paused, eyes drifting upwards in concentration. “Thanks, Wulf. Do not engage. Herd him towards us if you can. We will be there shortly.” She focused back on Caleb. “Felix is in the city. Eadwulf is trailing him. They are approaching from the south.” She hopped to her feet, and helped Caleb up. “Shall we?”
As they raced out the door, Caleb messaged Beauregard. “Felix has been spotted. Approaching The Tangles from the south. Wulf is trailing. We are headed to intercept. Could use a hand.”
“I’m in the Court of Colours, southwest of your position. I’ll link up with Eadwulf. Will get the monks to surround. We got this.”
“Beauregard is southwest of us,” Caleb told Astrid. “She’ll try to find Wulf and have the monks form a perimeter.”
“We only have one shot with Felix,” Astrid muttered. “This could make or break everything. No fuckups?”
“No fuckups.”
They ran.
As they drew closer to the suspected middle point, Caleb shot a quick message to Wulf. “We are close to the midpoint. Turning invisible now.” He grabbed Astrid’s hand, hiding them both from view.
Wulf’s response was a whisper. “Slowing down. I think he knows I’m here, but hasn’t done anything yet.”
Caleb was grateful most seventeen-year-old wizards had not yet figured out teleportation. He and Astrid also slowed, still hand-in-hand.
“We try to talk to him before we do anything aggressive,” Astrid whispered. “Get us close.”
“Worst case scenario, Beauregard stuns him and Wulf carries him somewhere we can have a secure conversation. I can try casting Suggestion if necessary, before we do anything to freak him out.”
They turned a corner and Caleb spotted the boy in a crowd of people carrying baskets and cloths and the like, probably headed to market. Felix was slim and blonde, and looked like he hadn’t slept in a few days. His shoulders were tight. The pair stayed ahead of him. Caleb spotted the instant Felix started getting a little too nervous, his eyes darting backwards for the barest of moments, towards Eadwulf, buried even as he was in the crowd.
Caleb tugged Astrid’s hand towards an alley before letting go and stepping into it, hoping he had read this right. Felix also turned into the alley, putting his back to the wall of a nearby inn, raising a hand to prepare a spell. Caleb recognised the somatic components of Scorching Ray. He prepared to counter it.
As soon as Wulf emerged, Felix tried to release the spell, and Caleb counterspelled, losing his invisibility.
Felix shook out his hands, still focused on Wulf. “Why are you following me, Eadwulf?”
Wulf raised an eyebrow. “Did you consider asking that before trying to set me on fire?”
Felix’s eyes narrowed, and Caleb wondered if Trent had tried to drive a wedge between the Volstruck, and Astrid and Wulf.
Astrid dropped her invisibility, appearing next to Wulf. “Felix, what’s the matter? Are you well?”
Her emergence did not calm Felix in the slightest. “Am I--” He scoffed. “Are you kidding?”
“We have been looking for you for weeks,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I have a mission to complete.”
Caleb considered recasting his invisibility, but the spell required verbal and somatic components. He just had to hold still and hope Astrid and Wulf commanded Felix’s attention until Caleb figured out what to do.
“Felix, you have been gone from the city for a long time,” said Astrid, and Caleb slowly reached for his component pouch. “Things have changed. Your mission, whatever it is, may no longer be viable.”
“We need to take you back to the Candles,” said Wulf.
Caleb felt his snake’s tongue and a piece of honeycomb, and began to slowly extract them from his pouch.
Felix didn’t move. “Why?”
Astrid glanced at Wulf, before evidently deciding on a course of action. “Trent has been arrested. We are trying to gather the Volstrucker so we can explain the charges against him.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Felix, what did he ask you to do?”
“It’s confidential.”
Caleb had the materials in his hand, so he rubbed the honeycomb against his lip, and spoke. “Felix, we are here to help you, but we need you to help us. Could we please have an honest conversation with each other?”
There was a moment where Caleb feared Felix would resist the Suggestion spell, and that Beauregard would have to swoop in and stun him. Felix turned to him, head cocked.
“Okay,” he said slowly. “You are Bren, right? Trent talks about you a lot.” He glanced at Astrid and Wulf. “He seemed worried the three of you were scheming behind his back.”
“Let’s head to his old office, ja? We have a lot to talk about. We will answer your questions, if you answer ours.”
“All right. Lead on.”
Caleb could not fucking believe that had worked. Judging from Astrid and Eadwulf’s brief but clearly shocked glances in his direction, they couldn’t believe it either.
****
Caleb couldn’t risk sending a message to Beauregard explaining what had happened, but she seemed to get the sense she shouldn’t reveal herself. Caleb led Felix through the city to the Academy, and up to Astrid’s office. They sat him in front of the fireplace.
Caleb crouched in front of him while Astrid stood by the fire, and Wulf leaned by the door. “Thank you for cooperating, Felix. Give me one moment. I need to message a friend who is going to help us.” He cast Sending. “Caduceus. We will need you in a moment.”
“I’m ready when you are.”
“I’ll go,” said Eadwulf. “Be right back.” With a muttered incantation, he had vanished.
“Where is he going?” asked Felix.
“To fetch a cleric friend of mine,” Caleb replied. “You look tired. Are you well?”
“Had a lot on my mind, I guess. Sleeping has been difficult.”
“I know the feeling.” Caleb looked to Astrid. “We should explain the situation, ja?”
“Why was Trent arrested?” asked Felix.
“A number of Volstrucker spoke with the Cobalt Soul about his training methods,” Astrid replied. “They documented it and took him to court. He’s in prison for life.”
Felix frowned. “I’m confused.”
Caleb should have expected Felix probably wouldn’t understand Trent’s behaviour as abuse; Caleb hadn’t either. “Felix, I would like you to listen to me.” He rolled up his sleeves so Felix could see the scars, which he was certain Felix shared. “A good teacher does not force his students to endure what we have.”
“We will face worse every day in our work,” Felix replied. “The pain… it makes us stronger.”
“And the residuum experiments? With no pain mitigation? I know people who have passed out in the process. Has that happened to you?”
“Once or twice,” Felix muttered, evidently still under the effects of the spell. “Puked more often.”
“Me too,” said Caleb, resisting the urge to scratch his itching scars. “It made me very ill most of the time. Astrid and Eadwulf had to force me to eat.”
“Why are you telling me this? Why are you asking me these questions?”
Astrid was gazing into the flames. “Felix, how old were you when Trent first hurt you?”
“Sixteen.”
Astrid managed to look at Caleb, just for a moment. “The same for him.” Astrid was a year older so it made sense to invoke Caleb instead, and maybe it was easier for her to project these things onto him.
Wulf popped back into the office, with the very welcome form of Caduceus beside him. Felix jumped, but Caleb had told him what was happening, and that seemed to be enough to stop him from bolting.
“Hallo, Caduceus,” said Caleb. “Can you give us just one more moment?” He turned back to Felix. “I’m going to have my friend Caduceus take a look at you and make sure you are well, but I would like to ask you a question first.”
“Fine.”
“What has Trent ordered you to do?”
Felix dropped his gaze to his lap. “My mother and father are plotting to betray the Empire. I have been asked to stop them.”
“That must have been weeks ago,” said Caleb. “What’s the matter?”
Felix scowled, and tried several times to supply an answer, as he was required to be honest while under the effects of Caleb’s specifically-worded spell. “I don’t know. They are not the people I thought they were. They are traitors. But. It’s not… I don’t know what to do. I’ve been waiting for Trent to give me more information, but I haven’t heard anything. I guess I was trying to figure out if there was a way I could convince them to…” He shook his head. “No. There is no mercy for traitors to the Empire.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” said Caleb. “It must be very difficult. May Caduceus take a look at you? You have clearly been under a great deal of stress.”
Felix had probably never seen a firbolg before, and he eyed Caduceus with trepidation. “What is he going to do?”
“It’s all right,” said Astrid. “He is a healer. The three of us have spent time in his family’s garden.”
“I… suppose…”
Caduceus approached slowly. “This will be quick, I promise. Just a healing spell to make you feel a bit better.” He already had the diamond dust for Greater Restoration in his palm. He touched Felix’s shoulder. It took a second for the spell to sink in, during which Caleb couldn’t breathe.
Then Felix slid to the floor, head in his hands. Astrid knelt beside him, whispering too quietly for Caleb to hear.
“One down,” Caduceus said softly, smiling at Caleb. “One to go.”
Caleb couldn’t speak. He watched Felix curl up on the floor, muttering to Astrid. She looked up at him, beckoned him over. Caleb knelt by her side.
“I don’t understand,” Felix said. “Why? Why? I don’t…” He shoved his fist against his mouth and screamed into it, eyes squeezed shut. “Why would he do this?”
There were a lot of things Caleb could say; he was not convinced any of them were right. But he had to say something. “He’s done this to all of us. Every Volstrucker went through this to graduate.”
“He does it for a few reasons,” Astrid said, quiet but somewhat detached. “It eliminates any family connections, leaving us reliant on Trent. And then, we’ve done the worst thing we thought we could do. Anything Trent has us do after that means very little. And those who break…” She looked at Caleb. “They are held up as an example of failure that we are measured against. We all know Bren’s name for a reason. First, as an example of failure, of weakness. Later, an example of endurance, of admirable but problematic stubbornness. A cautionary tale nonetheless.”
Felix looked to Caleb as well. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information?”
Caleb wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know what Felix would tolerate, and there was a pressing matter. “First things first, we need to find Nicolaus.”
Felix drew his knees up to his chest and hid his face against them. “I don’t know where he is. We argued and then we went our separate ways.”
“What did you argue about?”
“I wanted to come here and find Trent. Ask about the order. See if there was anything we could… I don’t know.”
“And what did he want?”
“Nico doesn’t know what he wants. He was always more scared of Trent than I am.”
“Okay, we have ways to track him down. Caduceus, can you scry today?”
“I can,” Caduceus said slowly. “Might I also recommend, if Mr Felix knows the spell, that he should try Sending to him.”
“I don’t know that spell,” Felix said thickly. Caleb would just make out the side of his face, to see it was screwed up as if in pain.
“I can teach you,” said Caleb, “but I suspect it will take more time than we have right now.” Sending was an Evocation spell, so it would probably only take Felix three hours instead of six to copy it into his spellbook and practice it until he could do it, but that was still too long.
Caduceus sat cross-legged on the floor. “Do you have anything of his? Or a likeness?”
Wulf handed him a sketch. “Does this help?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Caduceus closed his eyes and began the ritual.
“I can try messaging Nico,” Astrid said, gripping her copper wire. “Nicolaus. It’s Astrid. I must meet with you in Trent’s office. It’s an urgent matter.” She waited, scowled. “Nothing.”
Caleb refused to panic, no matter how bad that sounded. “Okay. Good to know.”
Felix lifted his head. “What if we’re too late?”
“We don’t know that yet,” said Caleb. “Whatever happens, we will deal with it.”
Felix frowned at the floor. “What happens to me now?”
“We can take you home to your parents once we’ve got an idea of Nico’s situation,” said Caleb. “Unless you need more time.”
“Just a bit. I think. But I’d like to see them. Not today.”
“There is plenty of dormitory space for however long you need,” said Astrid. “Bren will visit you regularly once you are with your parents, to check in.” Felix nodded. That had not been discussed, but it was something that Caleb would want to do, so he let it slide.
The ten minutes it took for Caduceus to complete the spell were some of the longest of Caleb’s life. But then Caduceus’s eyes went white, and it seemed to be working.
Caduceus began to narrate what I saw. “I see your boy. He’s in a field. The clouds are pretty dark. It’s hard to see much. I think I see some buildings ahead of him. I’ll follow him for a bit.”
There was a sick feeling in the pit of Caleb’s stomach. “We should be ready, just in case.”
Astrid’s fingers weaved around the wire. “Expositor, are you close by? We may need your assistance. Come to my office on the--ugh, just ask for directions.” She listened. “Expositor Lionett is outside the Academy. She will be here soon.”
Caduceus spoke again. “He is approaching the village. Not many people in the streets. Probably the incoming storm. He looks like he has a goal.”
“What can you see of the buildings?” asked Caleb. “Any signs?”
“The signs are Zemnian,” said Caduceus. “The buildings look like farmhouses, mostly. I think I saw an orchard.”
“Blumenthal is a farming town,” Caleb muttered. “Fuck.”
Beauregard burst through the door, gasping for breath. “I’m here!” She doubled over, hands on her knees, as she sucked in air.
“Get ready to move,” said Wulf, stony-faced. “It looks bad.”
“Shit.” She gulped in another breath. “Okay.”
Caleb felt a little better now that she was here, but he was wound too tight to process it. “Caduceus. Is there anything else?”
“He’s picking up speed. Turned a corner. Looking at a house in the distance, I think.”
Caleb did not let himself feel anything. He turned to Felix. “Felix, do you know where Nico’s parents live?”
“On the northeastern edge of town.” Felix’s voice was as tense as Caleb. “Look for the cabbages.”
“Danke.” He squeezed Felix’s shoulder and pushed himself to his feet. “We need to go.”
Caduceus was still in the vision. “Go on ahead. I’ll stay here with Felix. If I see anything I think is useful, I will Send. But it will break the scry.”
Caleb gathered Astrid, Wulf and Beauregard around him and cast teleport, aiming for the northeastern end of Blumenthal. He knew it well, once.
Caleb’s scars itched as he headed home from the Academy, mind buzzing uncomfortably. His hands were somehow steady as he messaged Beauregard.
“Beauregard. I had an unsettling conversation with Astrid and Wulf. Two Volstrucker students are missing. Felix and Nicolaus. Evocation wizards. May have self-orphan orders.” He realised belatedly that he had forgotten to ask Astrid for a description. Also, he hoped Beauregard never told anyone he had used the term self-orphan. He’d made himself a little queasy in his haste to keep to the word limit.
“I’ll make sure the Soul keeps an eye out. And I’ll get a description from Astrid in the morning. Get over here. Dinner’s ready.”
Beau and Yasha kept the conversation flowing over dinner, absolving Caleb of that social responsibility. He felt useless, sitting here while there were two boys out there somewhere, who were possibly in the process of deciding whether or not to kill their parents based on an implanted memory of treason. If they weren’t found in time, Caleb wasn’t sure he could ever forgive himself.
The two women hugged him goodnight after dinner, and he shook so hard he feared he would collapse. Yasha held onto him a little longer than she had probably planned, while Beauregard stepped back to take a look at him.
“Caleb.” She had that tone, the one what told him he looked like shit but she was trying not to freak him out. “Maybe you should take a spare room on this side tonight.”
“I’m all right, Beauregard.” He knew he sounded ridiculous. “Hear me out. Please.” Beauregard tilted her head in a silent challenge. “I need to think. I need to process this. I need to come up with plans for every possible outcome. And I may need to make some calls.”
“Do you want to talk it out?”
“I would like to be alone. Just for tonight. We will talk tomorrow.”
Beauregard looked for a moment like she was going to argue, and then she quite intentionally relaxed her shoulders. “Okay. You’ll tell us if you need anything, right?”
“Ja, of course.”
Yasha gave him one last squeeze. “We mean it. Anything.”
“I know. Danke.”
Caleb escaped to his bedroom. He forced himself to slow down a bit, take deep breaths, and get dressed for bed. He settled under the covers, slowly circling his palm over the quilt and feeling the different animal patterns. He’d already committed them to memory. But, on a night like this, it helped to know that what he thought was reality before was still reality now.
What a fucking mess. Before he could get too deep into his head, he messaged Caduceus.
“Hallo, Caduceus. Two of Trent’s students are missing. We suspect memories may have been modified. If we locate them, are you available to help us?”
There was a short pause; Caduceus was probably weighing his response, aware that he would not be able to track the wordcount once he began to speak. “Of course. Let me know when I’m needed. If you could spare a teleport, that would be great.”
Caleb cast the spell again. “I will give you a head’s up when I need you and then grab you from the Grove. Danke. Today has been… a lot.”
“Get some rest, Caleb. I left some sleepy tea in your kitchen if you need it. I’ll be here when you need me.”
That was one problem handled. Caleb burned through another Sending.
“Astrid, Caduceus is on call to correct any memory modification. Beauregard will be in touch with you tomorrow to get their descriptions.”
“Danke. I will ensure the Cobalt Soul is adequately informed. Now go to bed.”
Caleb let him feel her unspoken concern for him, just for a moment. Maybe one day they could be friends again. He curled up beneath the covers and closed his eyes. He would have to ensure he packed Counterspell and Sending every day. Perhaps Hold Person would also be useful. Control Flames would also not go amiss, just in case. And Expeditious Retreat or Fly would be useful in case time was of the essence at any point. Suggestion could be useful if they had the chance to talk. Running through spells he should prepare made him feel a bit better about how little control he had over this.
He was still losing his mind a little bit.
“Caleb,” came Essek’s voice, pumping air into Caleb's lungs. “Apologies. I meant to message earlier. I’m safe. Saved a child’s pet cat from a tree. He hugged me. Strange. How was your day?”
“Intense.” Caleb wasn’t sure how much to say, and he would definitely have to burn more spells to go into any detail. “Astrid promised to find a venue for the ex-Volstrucker support group. Two boys are unaccounted for. We are concerned. They are… almost graduates.”
Before Caleb could decide whether to say more, Essek Sent again. “Are you all right? Can I help with anything?”
“Not right now. We will… see how this pans out. They’re from Blumenthal, and I didn’t hear anything when I was there. May have time.” Caleb burnt another of his own spells before Essek did. “I have Caduceus on standby and Beauregard will talk to the Soul tomorrow. We may have a chance. I hope.”
“I will come in a heartbeat if you need me. Keep me updated. Get some rest if you can. Goodnight. You are in my thoughts.”
It helped, just a bit. Caleb still tossed and turned for a while, unable to turn his brain off. But things were… maybe they were manageable. He had half a mind to take himself to Blumenthal tomorrow, find out where the boys’ parents lived and get them somewhere safe. Or maybe he could… no, they would not handle a stranger showing up at their door in the dead of the night very well.
****
Astrid came to the house the following morning, with sketches for Beauregard to distribute to the Cobalt Soul. It was odd to sit on the couch with her. Like friends would.
“Eadwulf is in the city with the Volstrucker we could mobilise,” she said. “If either of them come to Rexxentrum, between us and the monks, we will find them. I spoke to my guard contact; the families are okay.”
“Have we considered evacuating them?” asked Caleb. The thought had kept him up for a long time last night. Maybe it was the best option.
There was a flicker of discomfort across Astrid’s face for the barest of seconds. “I don’t trust the Crownsguard to handle a delicate mission like that. It would be up to us. Or perhaps the Soul, but I’m already stretching our relationship with them.”
“Yudala Fon knows the stakes,” said Caleb. “If you are not comfortable visiting Blumenthal yourself…”
“Are you?”
“I have been once. I can bear it again to save half a dozen lives.”
They both knew it wasn’t just the parents whose lives were in danger. If Felix and Nicolaus followed through on this and were not stopped…
Well, Caleb had lost eleven years, and then another six running and running and running. Astrid and Wulf had lost their freedom as well. And Caleb could not even begin to comprehend the special kind of pain it would bring these boys if they murdered their parents only to discover Trent had been in prison for weeks, his crimes exposed, his orders no longer in effect. Caleb wasn’t sure he could have survived that.
Astrid must have understood what Caleb was feeling, because she spoke gently. “It is an option. We could also leave them in place under guard to draw the boys out.”
“I would rather not.” Caleb could already conjure a dozen scenarios in which that could go horribly wrong. “Astrid, we cannot fuck this up. You and I both know these boys could overpower a Crownsguard, or sneak past a security detail. No risks. We have to move the families.”
Astrid opened her mouth to respond, and then paused, eyes drifting upwards in concentration. “Thanks, Wulf. Do not engage. Herd him towards us if you can. We will be there shortly.” She focused back on Caleb. “Felix is in the city. Eadwulf is trailing him. They are approaching from the south.” She hopped to her feet, and helped Caleb up. “Shall we?”
As they raced out the door, Caleb messaged Beauregard. “Felix has been spotted. Approaching The Tangles from the south. Wulf is trailing. We are headed to intercept. Could use a hand.”
“I’m in the Court of Colours, southwest of your position. I’ll link up with Eadwulf. Will get the monks to surround. We got this.”
“Beauregard is southwest of us,” Caleb told Astrid. “She’ll try to find Wulf and have the monks form a perimeter.”
“We only have one shot with Felix,” Astrid muttered. “This could make or break everything. No fuckups?”
“No fuckups.”
They ran.
As they drew closer to the suspected middle point, Caleb shot a quick message to Wulf. “We are close to the midpoint. Turning invisible now.” He grabbed Astrid’s hand, hiding them both from view.
Wulf’s response was a whisper. “Slowing down. I think he knows I’m here, but hasn’t done anything yet.”
Caleb was grateful most seventeen-year-old wizards had not yet figured out teleportation. He and Astrid also slowed, still hand-in-hand.
“We try to talk to him before we do anything aggressive,” Astrid whispered. “Get us close.”
“Worst case scenario, Beauregard stuns him and Wulf carries him somewhere we can have a secure conversation. I can try casting Suggestion if necessary, before we do anything to freak him out.”
They turned a corner and Caleb spotted the boy in a crowd of people carrying baskets and cloths and the like, probably headed to market. Felix was slim and blonde, and looked like he hadn’t slept in a few days. His shoulders were tight. The pair stayed ahead of him. Caleb spotted the instant Felix started getting a little too nervous, his eyes darting backwards for the barest of moments, towards Eadwulf, buried even as he was in the crowd.
Caleb tugged Astrid’s hand towards an alley before letting go and stepping into it, hoping he had read this right. Felix also turned into the alley, putting his back to the wall of a nearby inn, raising a hand to prepare a spell. Caleb recognised the somatic components of Scorching Ray. He prepared to counter it.
As soon as Wulf emerged, Felix tried to release the spell, and Caleb counterspelled, losing his invisibility.
Felix shook out his hands, still focused on Wulf. “Why are you following me, Eadwulf?”
Wulf raised an eyebrow. “Did you consider asking that before trying to set me on fire?”
Felix’s eyes narrowed, and Caleb wondered if Trent had tried to drive a wedge between the Volstruck, and Astrid and Wulf.
Astrid dropped her invisibility, appearing next to Wulf. “Felix, what’s the matter? Are you well?”
Her emergence did not calm Felix in the slightest. “Am I--” He scoffed. “Are you kidding?”
“We have been looking for you for weeks,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I have a mission to complete.”
Caleb considered recasting his invisibility, but the spell required verbal and somatic components. He just had to hold still and hope Astrid and Wulf commanded Felix’s attention until Caleb figured out what to do.
“Felix, you have been gone from the city for a long time,” said Astrid, and Caleb slowly reached for his component pouch. “Things have changed. Your mission, whatever it is, may no longer be viable.”
“We need to take you back to the Candles,” said Wulf.
Caleb felt his snake’s tongue and a piece of honeycomb, and began to slowly extract them from his pouch.
Felix didn’t move. “Why?”
Astrid glanced at Wulf, before evidently deciding on a course of action. “Trent has been arrested. We are trying to gather the Volstrucker so we can explain the charges against him.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Felix, what did he ask you to do?”
“It’s confidential.”
Caleb had the materials in his hand, so he rubbed the honeycomb against his lip, and spoke. “Felix, we are here to help you, but we need you to help us. Could we please have an honest conversation with each other?”
There was a moment where Caleb feared Felix would resist the Suggestion spell, and that Beauregard would have to swoop in and stun him. Felix turned to him, head cocked.
“Okay,” he said slowly. “You are Bren, right? Trent talks about you a lot.” He glanced at Astrid and Wulf. “He seemed worried the three of you were scheming behind his back.”
“Let’s head to his old office, ja? We have a lot to talk about. We will answer your questions, if you answer ours.”
“All right. Lead on.”
Caleb could not fucking believe that had worked. Judging from Astrid and Eadwulf’s brief but clearly shocked glances in his direction, they couldn’t believe it either.
****
Caleb couldn’t risk sending a message to Beauregard explaining what had happened, but she seemed to get the sense she shouldn’t reveal herself. Caleb led Felix through the city to the Academy, and up to Astrid’s office. They sat him in front of the fireplace.
Caleb crouched in front of him while Astrid stood by the fire, and Wulf leaned by the door. “Thank you for cooperating, Felix. Give me one moment. I need to message a friend who is going to help us.” He cast Sending. “Caduceus. We will need you in a moment.”
“I’m ready when you are.”
“I’ll go,” said Eadwulf. “Be right back.” With a muttered incantation, he had vanished.
“Where is he going?” asked Felix.
“To fetch a cleric friend of mine,” Caleb replied. “You look tired. Are you well?”
“Had a lot on my mind, I guess. Sleeping has been difficult.”
“I know the feeling.” Caleb looked to Astrid. “We should explain the situation, ja?”
“Why was Trent arrested?” asked Felix.
“A number of Volstrucker spoke with the Cobalt Soul about his training methods,” Astrid replied. “They documented it and took him to court. He’s in prison for life.”
Felix frowned. “I’m confused.”
Caleb should have expected Felix probably wouldn’t understand Trent’s behaviour as abuse; Caleb hadn’t either. “Felix, I would like you to listen to me.” He rolled up his sleeves so Felix could see the scars, which he was certain Felix shared. “A good teacher does not force his students to endure what we have.”
“We will face worse every day in our work,” Felix replied. “The pain… it makes us stronger.”
“And the residuum experiments? With no pain mitigation? I know people who have passed out in the process. Has that happened to you?”
“Once or twice,” Felix muttered, evidently still under the effects of the spell. “Puked more often.”
“Me too,” said Caleb, resisting the urge to scratch his itching scars. “It made me very ill most of the time. Astrid and Eadwulf had to force me to eat.”
“Why are you telling me this? Why are you asking me these questions?”
Astrid was gazing into the flames. “Felix, how old were you when Trent first hurt you?”
“Sixteen.”
Astrid managed to look at Caleb, just for a moment. “The same for him.” Astrid was a year older so it made sense to invoke Caleb instead, and maybe it was easier for her to project these things onto him.
Wulf popped back into the office, with the very welcome form of Caduceus beside him. Felix jumped, but Caleb had told him what was happening, and that seemed to be enough to stop him from bolting.
“Hallo, Caduceus,” said Caleb. “Can you give us just one more moment?” He turned back to Felix. “I’m going to have my friend Caduceus take a look at you and make sure you are well, but I would like to ask you a question first.”
“Fine.”
“What has Trent ordered you to do?”
Felix dropped his gaze to his lap. “My mother and father are plotting to betray the Empire. I have been asked to stop them.”
“That must have been weeks ago,” said Caleb. “What’s the matter?”
Felix scowled, and tried several times to supply an answer, as he was required to be honest while under the effects of Caleb’s specifically-worded spell. “I don’t know. They are not the people I thought they were. They are traitors. But. It’s not… I don’t know what to do. I’ve been waiting for Trent to give me more information, but I haven’t heard anything. I guess I was trying to figure out if there was a way I could convince them to…” He shook his head. “No. There is no mercy for traitors to the Empire.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” said Caleb. “It must be very difficult. May Caduceus take a look at you? You have clearly been under a great deal of stress.”
Felix had probably never seen a firbolg before, and he eyed Caduceus with trepidation. “What is he going to do?”
“It’s all right,” said Astrid. “He is a healer. The three of us have spent time in his family’s garden.”
“I… suppose…”
Caduceus approached slowly. “This will be quick, I promise. Just a healing spell to make you feel a bit better.” He already had the diamond dust for Greater Restoration in his palm. He touched Felix’s shoulder. It took a second for the spell to sink in, during which Caleb couldn’t breathe.
Then Felix slid to the floor, head in his hands. Astrid knelt beside him, whispering too quietly for Caleb to hear.
“One down,” Caduceus said softly, smiling at Caleb. “One to go.”
Caleb couldn’t speak. He watched Felix curl up on the floor, muttering to Astrid. She looked up at him, beckoned him over. Caleb knelt by her side.
“I don’t understand,” Felix said. “Why? Why? I don’t…” He shoved his fist against his mouth and screamed into it, eyes squeezed shut. “Why would he do this?”
There were a lot of things Caleb could say; he was not convinced any of them were right. But he had to say something. “He’s done this to all of us. Every Volstrucker went through this to graduate.”
“He does it for a few reasons,” Astrid said, quiet but somewhat detached. “It eliminates any family connections, leaving us reliant on Trent. And then, we’ve done the worst thing we thought we could do. Anything Trent has us do after that means very little. And those who break…” She looked at Caleb. “They are held up as an example of failure that we are measured against. We all know Bren’s name for a reason. First, as an example of failure, of weakness. Later, an example of endurance, of admirable but problematic stubbornness. A cautionary tale nonetheless.”
Felix looked to Caleb as well. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information?”
Caleb wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know what Felix would tolerate, and there was a pressing matter. “First things first, we need to find Nicolaus.”
Felix drew his knees up to his chest and hid his face against them. “I don’t know where he is. We argued and then we went our separate ways.”
“What did you argue about?”
“I wanted to come here and find Trent. Ask about the order. See if there was anything we could… I don’t know.”
“And what did he want?”
“Nico doesn’t know what he wants. He was always more scared of Trent than I am.”
“Okay, we have ways to track him down. Caduceus, can you scry today?”
“I can,” Caduceus said slowly. “Might I also recommend, if Mr Felix knows the spell, that he should try Sending to him.”
“I don’t know that spell,” Felix said thickly. Caleb would just make out the side of his face, to see it was screwed up as if in pain.
“I can teach you,” said Caleb, “but I suspect it will take more time than we have right now.” Sending was an Evocation spell, so it would probably only take Felix three hours instead of six to copy it into his spellbook and practice it until he could do it, but that was still too long.
Caduceus sat cross-legged on the floor. “Do you have anything of his? Or a likeness?”
Wulf handed him a sketch. “Does this help?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Caduceus closed his eyes and began the ritual.
“I can try messaging Nico,” Astrid said, gripping her copper wire. “Nicolaus. It’s Astrid. I must meet with you in Trent’s office. It’s an urgent matter.” She waited, scowled. “Nothing.”
Caleb refused to panic, no matter how bad that sounded. “Okay. Good to know.”
Felix lifted his head. “What if we’re too late?”
“We don’t know that yet,” said Caleb. “Whatever happens, we will deal with it.”
Felix frowned at the floor. “What happens to me now?”
“We can take you home to your parents once we’ve got an idea of Nico’s situation,” said Caleb. “Unless you need more time.”
“Just a bit. I think. But I’d like to see them. Not today.”
“There is plenty of dormitory space for however long you need,” said Astrid. “Bren will visit you regularly once you are with your parents, to check in.” Felix nodded. That had not been discussed, but it was something that Caleb would want to do, so he let it slide.
The ten minutes it took for Caduceus to complete the spell were some of the longest of Caleb’s life. But then Caduceus’s eyes went white, and it seemed to be working.
Caduceus began to narrate what I saw. “I see your boy. He’s in a field. The clouds are pretty dark. It’s hard to see much. I think I see some buildings ahead of him. I’ll follow him for a bit.”
There was a sick feeling in the pit of Caleb’s stomach. “We should be ready, just in case.”
Astrid’s fingers weaved around the wire. “Expositor, are you close by? We may need your assistance. Come to my office on the--ugh, just ask for directions.” She listened. “Expositor Lionett is outside the Academy. She will be here soon.”
Caduceus spoke again. “He is approaching the village. Not many people in the streets. Probably the incoming storm. He looks like he has a goal.”
“What can you see of the buildings?” asked Caleb. “Any signs?”
“The signs are Zemnian,” said Caduceus. “The buildings look like farmhouses, mostly. I think I saw an orchard.”
“Blumenthal is a farming town,” Caleb muttered. “Fuck.”
Beauregard burst through the door, gasping for breath. “I’m here!” She doubled over, hands on her knees, as she sucked in air.
“Get ready to move,” said Wulf, stony-faced. “It looks bad.”
“Shit.” She gulped in another breath. “Okay.”
Caleb felt a little better now that she was here, but he was wound too tight to process it. “Caduceus. Is there anything else?”
“He’s picking up speed. Turned a corner. Looking at a house in the distance, I think.”
Caleb did not let himself feel anything. He turned to Felix. “Felix, do you know where Nico’s parents live?”
“On the northeastern edge of town.” Felix’s voice was as tense as Caleb. “Look for the cabbages.”
“Danke.” He squeezed Felix’s shoulder and pushed himself to his feet. “We need to go.”
Caduceus was still in the vision. “Go on ahead. I’ll stay here with Felix. If I see anything I think is useful, I will Send. But it will break the scry.”
Caleb gathered Astrid, Wulf and Beauregard around him and cast teleport, aiming for the northeastern end of Blumenthal. He knew it well, once.
#shadowgast#caleb widogast#professor widogast#critical role#astrid beck#eadwulf grieve#fanfiction#my fics#cr2#the pomegranate's professor widogast fic
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"Roads That Cross... on a Day Off"
You can read the previous chapters here: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21)
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Inspired by 'Call it what you want', which is honestly THE simbar song. The author regrets nothing.
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Simón’s left arm was asleep.
He noticed it the moment he woke up, but he refused to move. The prettiest head of blonde locks was using it as a pillow, and who was he to disturb her?
It was a rare occurrence that he woke up before Ámbar. She was a natural early riser while he liked to sleep as much as possible. He usually woke up from her movements as she started her day, or— and this was his favorite— with some caress or kisses from her part. He could start becoming a morning person if that was what awaited him.
So, uncommon as it was, he wanted to cherish this, just this, having her close in complete calmness. Ámbar’s back was to his chest, their legs close together, and his free arm was around her middle, holding her against him. He wanted to run his hand over her skin, or maybe take hers in his, but he didn’t want to risk anything putting an end to this moment.
He fleetingly wondered how long his arm could go without blood flow before it did some damage.
Oh well, who cared.
He couldn’t see her face spooning her like this, but he noticed when she started waking because the even rhythm of her breathing he had been following changed. She began to move, stretching slightly in a way that pressed her back more into him. Simón did hold her hand then and kissed her shoulder. She hummed softly and turned her head to look at him.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he said with a smile.
“Good morning,” she murmured, her voice groggy from sleep. She rolled to rest her head on his chest, which his left arm appreciated. He laid on his back. “What time is it?” She asked after a moment of just relishing the closeness.
Simón extended his right arm over to the nightstand to check his phone. “Almost eleven.”
“Eleven?!” Ámbar jumped, as if he’d said four in the afternoon. “Wow, I hadn’t slept in this much in a long time…” She said, recovering from the surprise. She brought her gaze to his with a coquettish look. “You really wore me out.”
Simón smiled smugly and gave a small shrug. “Well, what can I say? I like to be very thorough,” he said playfully. “Or… maybe all of this was part of my evil plan to get you to let me sleep until a decent hour.”
She raised her brows. “Decent hour? By the time we go downstairs, we might as well have lunch.”
He gave her a look. “You’re totally exaggerating, it’s not that late.” He turned on his side and ran his knuckles softly over her right arm. “And anyway, I wasn’t planning on going to the dining room.” He smiled at her. “How does breakfast in bed sound?”
Her eyes sparkled. “Really?”
“Of course. It’s the least my queen deserves.”
She tilted her head to the side with the cutest melted smile.
“Aww.” She cupped his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. “I love you.”
He gave her another peck. “I love you more.”
She drew back with a gasp in fake outrage. “You do not want to start that discussion, mister.”
“Oh really?” He said, playing along.
“Yep, because you’re going to lose,” she said confidently. “So better give up now while you still can.”
He smirked. “Or what?”
Ámbar’s eyes narrowed with challenge just as he wanted. With the hint of a smile on her lips, she rose and sat astride him, keeping his gaze from above.
“Or I’ll have to show you just how wrong you are.”
Simón kept his mask of a straight face. “That remains to be seen.”
One beat later, he went and flipped her over, making her explode into giggles that he captured with kisses in between his own smiles.
Maybe breakfast could wait.
*****************
The instant that “Esta Noche No Paro” stopped playing, claps and cheers replaced the music. Gastón was fascinated with the final product. It was magical to see everything put together when he’d been right there, in front of the camera, not knowing the shots that would come out of it. He was happy to see that both his dance moves and the choreography’s synch had come out great, but even more than that, he was happy to see the twinkle on Matteo’s eyes and the huge grin that split his face in two. They’d watched the video at the Roller with Delfi, Jazmín, Pedro and Ramiro, and Gastón could honestly say that Matteo and Delfi deserved all the praises that came their way— The video was amazing.
Everyone was very excited, so much so that Pedro gave them all smoothies on the house. Gastón had missed hanging out with his friends like this, a lot. Just their cheery conversations were sweeter than any drink. It was good to be back, no matter how short the visit.
The group dispersed after a while, everyone continuing their daily routines. Gastón and Matteo stayed on a table, Matteo still stuck on the video.
“It’s just… I really think if there is one person that should be receiving praises right now, it’s Luna,” he said, half awed by her, half lamenting she wasn’t there. “I mean, she came up with the video, shemade it happen… I really don’t know how to thank her for all of this.”
Gastón looked at his friend and pretended to think for a second. “Mmm, I don’t know, maybe you could give her a bouquet of flowers,” he proposed, which Matteo seemed to like. “… And, while you’re at it, get back together with her.”
Matteo immediately became self-conscious. Gastón pushed forward. “Come on, dude, I’ve been here for a total of two days and it’s already obvious to me that you two still care about each other. Can you explain to me why you’re not together yet?”
Matteo averted his gaze, looking disheartened. “… A lot of things happened. Every time we get closer, we end up hurting each other and… Luna doesn’t feel the same way anymore.”
Gastón looked at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Matteo, she organized a whole music video for you. To cheer you up, to make youhappy. What else do you want? For her to write it in the sky?”
Tentatively, Matteo brought his gaze to his. “You really think so?”
“Everyone thinks so,” he declared. “You just need to gather the courage and go for it.”
Hope and worry mixed in Matteo’s expression. He looked down, seeming deep in thought. Gastón wished he didn’t drown in those thoughts of his so much and listened to his heart.
Just then, Nina entered the Roller with Jim and Yam and his eyes followed her as she walked over to a table, settling with her laptop as they talked about one thing or another.
Gastón filled his lungs with a big, deep breath. Time to start following his own advice.
***********************
By the time they finally deigned to leave the bed it was like two in the afternoon, and only because Ámbar thought it’d be a bad idea to introduce herself to Simón’s mom while in bed with him. She wanted to make a good impression— The woman didn’t need to know how she was defiling her son.
They sat on one of the couches in the living room for a more neutral setting. Ámbar chose a white top with a white linen sweater over it for the occasion. It made her look harmless enough. She also liked how its black and cream pearl embellishments combined with her dark jeans, and the weather had been a bit cooler lately. Simón had also opted for wearing his jean shirt over his purple t-shirt instead of tying it around his hips for that same reason.
They settled in front of her laptop’s screen for the video chat. It had been Ámbar’s idea to have it through there so it was more comfortable, that way neither side had to be holding up a phone.
Just as Simón had told her, the call hadn’t been a serious affair at all. She’d been a little nervous at the beginning, but Simón’s mom’s wide smile and warm personality put her at ease quickly. The woman didn’t seem to hate her at all, and she seemed too genuine to be pretending to like her. She reminded her so much of Simón. She knew that he mostly looked like his dad from the photos she’d seen on his Instagram, but he had his mother’s eyes, and the more Ámbar talked to the woman, the more pieces of him she found in her. It warmed her heart.
It wasn’t a very long chat, but Simón’s mom found the time to tell her a fun story of when Simón was a kid, much to his embarrassment and her insurmountable enjoyment. She promised to show her the family photo albums when she visited Cancún. Ámbar loved the idea.
“You’ll have to show me your photos too then,” Simón told her, his eyes shining with excitement and curiosity.
Ámbar did her best to keep her smile in place. She didn’t have any photos from when she was a kid that she knew of. Sharon wasn’t one for sentimentalities like that. If she had any, they were probably taken by Amanda on specific dates like her first day at kindergarten and at the Blake. Maybe some from old birthdays. Ámbar had no idea where those could be though… if Sharon had kept them at all.
The only old photos she knew she had were from photoshoots. She’d first asked for one when she turned twelve, and had some more done after that. When all cellphones started having decent cameras, it became easier to have photos.
Ámbar chose not to say any of it, and tried not to let it darken her mood, but the bitter reminder stuck on the back of her mind. The contrast between Simón’s mom’s sweetness and the cold, scolding texts she’d been receiving from Sharon was too great. Ámbar was ignoring them. Her godmother had no right to reprimand her for anything when she was keeping her secret at the expense of jeopardizing her happiness.
The video call ended with Simón’s mom teasingly warning him to behave and giving Ámbar permission to put him in his place if he didn’t. The irony of Ámbar promising to keep him on the right track was not lost on her, but it was just playfulness in the end. She only hoped that the future plans they’d talked about did come to pass.
After that, Simón insisted on inviting her out for lunch. “When was the last time we had time for an actual date? We need to seize this opportunity!” He took her to a restaurant he’d visited before with Pedro and Nico. It was nothing fancy, completely unlike the restaurants Sharon took her to the times they ate outside, but it was nice, and the food was delicious. The company was the best part, of course. Ámbar felt like she could’ve eaten anything and anywhere as long as she was with Simón. She nursed her drink slowly just so they could stay there longer, smiling and conversing. She suspected he did the same.
They had a brief fight over who would pay the bill. Ámbar argued that there was no need for him to spend money on her when she had more than she needed, but Simón insisted that he had invited her so it should be his treat. She proposed splitting it, but Simón wanted to pay for both. Sensing that it was important to him, she relented.
She grabbed his hand as they left and they walked down the street with their fingers interlocked. Ámbar would’ve been happy to just walk around with him for the rest of the afternoon until the sun went down, but he proposed they went back to the mansion.
When they got there though, she didn’t get to cross the front door before Simón stopped her.
“Wait for me right here, don’t move.”
Ámbar frowned but did as told while he disappeared inside, curious as to what idea he’d come up with.
He reappeared about five minutes later, with both hands behind his back, sign that he was hiding something.
“Okay, so, um, I want to make you a surprise,” he started.
She smiled with interest. “Okay…”
“But, in order to do that, I’m going to need you to be out of the mansion for a while.”
Ámbar raised a brow. Now this was unexpected, but she was too curious to say no. “Like for how long?”
“I don’t know, an hour?”
“And… what am I supposed to do in the meantime?”
Simón finally brought his hands forward, revealing one pair of her skates and her helmet. “You can rollerskate,” he said cheerily. “I’ve noticed that with so much work you haven’t found much time to do so lately. And, I mean, it’s a shame really, to deny the world the chance of seeing the queen of the rink in action.”
Her heart melted with the flattery, and especially for how thoughtful a gesture it was. “You’re so cute. But the idea of this day was to spend it together,” she argued, moving closer to place her hands on his shoulders. “I would rather skate with you. I miss it.”
He showed a sympathetic smile. “Me too. We can do that if we find some time at work one of these days. But now,” he handed her her things, “you can have some alone time and clear your head.”
Ámbar received them with an acquiescent smile. “Okay.”
“I’ll text you when you can come back.”
“Okay. Just try not to destroy my house with whatever you have planned.”
Simón chuckled. “I won’t. I may have to borrow a couple of things though, you don’t mind?”
She shrugged. “You live here, grab whatever you like.”
They shared a short parting kiss.
“Have fun,” he said with a smile.
Ámbar gave him one last peck just because she could and left.
**********************
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”
Nina smoothed her hands down her skirt. They were sweating so hard, and she knew it had nothing to do with the mellow autumn sun shining over them in the quiet square.
It was all about the boy in front of her, who’d always had the ability to make her heart pound. And to whom, she realized, she still hadn’t said anything.
“Yeah, well, we’re still friends, right?” She somehow managed to articulate nervously, trying to show a smile. “I mean, if you need something, advice or anything like that, I can help. Although, I don’t know if I’d really be much help. Maybe you should talk about it with Matteo?”
Gastón looked at her in silence, in the eyes, in a way that did nothing to calm her heart.
“Matteo can’t help me with this,” he said, just the slightest hint of sadness in his voice showing he wished it were not so. “No one, really... It is about you and me.”
Yes, that was exactly what she’d feared. “…You wanna talk about us?”
Gastón nodded solemnly.
“Could we take a seat?” He invited her gently, signaling to the bench right next to them.
They both sat, keeping some small distance between them, but they were still very close. When had been the last time they’d been this close? Alone? Nina was having a hard time keeping his gaze. She was gripping the strap of her bag so hard her fingers would probably hurt later.
“Look, Nina,” Gastón started, his tense shoulders the only thing that betrayed he was nervous too, “I’ve been thinking a lot these past few weeks… and you have no idea how much I miss you.”
Her heart clenched painfully.
God, how many times had she dreamed with him saying those words? So many scenarios, so many things she’d wished to say. And now she was frozen.
“Every second I’m not studying I think of you,” Gastón continued, his emotion-filled voice hitting her with each word. “Hell, even when I’m studying I think of you— That I haven’t failed a class is a miracle.” He looked down, ashamed. “And I know that saying this now is unfair when it was me who wanted to end it but… I need to correct my mistake.” Gastón looked up. Honest, determined eyes bore into hers. “I want us to be together again, Nina. I want you to be my girlfriend.”
Nina felt herself tremble.
“I… I don’t understand,” she uttered, her brain registering the words but unable to process them. Or perhaps she was too scared to. “What happened with all you said? What happened with not making each other suffer and letting destiny bring us back together someday if it was meant to be?” She’d held on to that. To the belief that their names were being kept by the sea and maybe they’d find each other in the future. She’d accepted that, and now he…
“That was before my best friend fell off a fence,��� Gastón said, somber, and his expression just quieted her once more. “He could’ve died, Nina. One bad hit in the head is all it takes. And I would’ve been a hemisphere away.” His hands clenched. His face reflected how much the idea tormented him. “I started thinking of possibilities. Matteo could’ve died or ended up in vegetative state or in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Accidents happen every day— And what if it had been you?” He said, his eyes dancing between hers in fear. “What if something had happened to you and I wouldn’t have been able to be there?” His jaw set. His head shook slightly. “I can’t trust a hypothetical future when I could die tomorrow.”
Nina’s throat tightened. “Don’t say things so horrible, please.”
“It’s true,” he dismissed her pleading, not harshly but with the calmness of someone who has complete certainty of what he’s saying. “That’s why I had to come. For Matteo, and for you. To ask you to give me another chance.”
He seemed to want to hold her hands but didn’t dare to do so. They fell back on the bench, right on the edge of the flounce of her skirt. Nina had no chance to be either disappointed or relieved by that because his eyes held her captive.
“I’m so sorry,” Gastón said, like from the bottom of his heart. “I gave up on us too soon. I was a coward; I see that now. I thought I was doing what was best for us, so we wouldn’t have to suffer from being so far apart. But maybe I was just thinking of myself and what I thought would hurt me less. Maybe I was just too afraid of you finding some other guy… And now, because of that, my greatest fear came true,” he said dejectedly, averting his gaze. “I’ve been told that you have a thing with Eric…”
“No!”
The word was pulled from her lips before she made a conscious decision. She was not surprised to see the surprise in Gastón’s eyes because she was caught off guard too. She began to backtrack rapidly.
“I mean… He’s a very sweet guy,” she said, because not saying it would be unfair. Just the fact that she’d denied him so adamantly made her feel mean. “We see each other every day and we talk. We’re kinda similar, we get along very well. And…” She doubted. She felt awkward telling him all this, but after everything Gastón had said to her, she had to be honest, she couldn’t act like there was nothing there. “…He likes me…”
She decided not to mention the kiss. It’d been a mistake and Eric had apologized. But by Gastón’s face, she might as well have.
He looked down, putting on a solemn mask. “…I understand.”
“No, you can’t understand,” Nina said immediately, and this time she meant the strength with which she spoke. She didn’t know where it came from but suddenly it was burning, and when he met her gaze this time, she looked at him straight on. “You can’t possibly understand because I don’t. Everyone’s telling me that I should give Eric a chance and, honestly, there are many reasons why I should, starting with the fact that he’s here and wants to be with me, but I can’t even think about being with Eric because I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Now it was him that was rendered speechless. His eyes searched hers, a new light in them, and she’d already taken the jump, so she let the words fall whenever they led her.
“You may have gone very far away physically, but you stayed in my heart,” she confessed. The most real, hardest truth she’d ever had to admit. “And with it stayed the sadness, and this horrible feeling that I’m missing something…”
Gastón didn’t doubt this time— He took her hands in his.
“I feel the same,” he said with both relief and desperation. “I’ve been feeling the same way all these weeks, Nina. I miss you like I didn’t even think I could miss someone. I’ve been so angry at myself for letting you go when it was the last thing I wanted.” His right thumb ran over her knuckles and he followed the caress with his eyes. Nina felt it like a spark. “I know I have no right to ask you anything… But I just can’t go back without at least trying to get you back.”
“…But then… we’d be together but apart again?” She said, discouraged by that bleak future. They’d already been through that— Did he really want to go back to it?
“You were the one who said that I was never really gone,” he noted. “As long as we still have each other here…” He brought their joined hands to his chest. “…Isn’t that all that matters?”
She didn’t know if she could feel his heart against her fingers or if it seemed so because she could see it through his eyes. She was too overwhelmed. “Gastón—”
“Say yes, Nina.” He squeezed her hands. “Please.”
She wanted to say yes. She wanted to jump into his arms and hug him tightly. She wanted to believe that love conquered all and they would be okay.
But she had thought that once. She’d believed it with all her heart, all through that summer, only for him to put an end to the story she’d been trying to write.
She couldn’t just forget about all the nights she’d spent crying over him since then. Names in the sea or not, it had been the death of something and she’d mourned it. Her heart was just starting to heal a little and he wanted her to rip all the carefully placed stitches and re-open the wound once more?
What if it just bled out again? What if their love wasn’t enough?
“… I need to think about it.”
Gastón looked disheartened but nodded and let go of her hands, lowering them slowly. “Yeah, of course. I understand.” He tucked his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, like stopping himself from reaching for her once more. “I leave in three days. If you could tell me by then…”
Nina nodded, utterly unsure of how she was even gonna make heads of what she felt to come to an answer, but knowing that it was the least Gastón deserved, and she as well.
She either chose to give themselves another chance… or she closed this chapter forever.
She knew it wouldn’t be easy no matter which she chose.
****************
Luna couldn’t understand what was happening.
She’d gone out for ice cream with Michel just like they’d promised. One second they were goofing around, laughing like always, and then the next, Michel was kissing her.
She froze, her brain scrambling to comprehend the situation. She hadn’t expected a kiss. She hadn’t given any sign for a kiss. He hadn’t just stumbled and fallen into her mouth, right? Nono, he was holding her face, and the way he was pressing against her lips was way too deliberate. Which meant it wasn’t a joke either, and even if it had been, it’d be a terrible one.
Finally, the repulsion she felt broke through the paralysis of confusion and she pulled away from Michel.
“What are you doing?” She asked, shaken up.
Michel was grinning. “I don’t know, I kissed you,” he said with a dreamy expression like something magical had just happened.
Meanwhile, it must have been one of the few times in her life Luna couldn’t see any good in a situation.
“Yeah, I realize that,” she replied, and she really couldn’t help the bite in her voice. “But, why? I mean, I didn’t— I never told you to kiss me!”
Michel’s shoulders deflated and his smile began to fade. “What are you saying? You didn’t like it?”
“Michel, how could I like it?” She honestly couldn’t believe he was even asking right now. Was he that detached from reality? In what world did he think this was okay? “We talked about this, didn’t we? Yesterday.”
“Yes, but,” he showed a tentative smile, “you said we are like birds of a feather and that you like hanging out with me…”
“Yeah, as friends,” she declared, keeping his gaze so he knew she was serious. A grimace wrinkled her face from all this situation. “God, Michel, you misunderstood everything, I thought we’d made things clear.”
Michel’s face finally lost all its light and became covered with remorse. “Luna, I’m sorry. Can we talk about this?”
“Why, I don’t know— Are we gonna talk and then you’ll try to kiss me tomorrow?!”
At seeing him wince in pain and regret, Luna’s outrage decreased somewhat; she didn’t want to be mean.
She closed her eyes, sighing heavily. “Look, Michel, I’m sorry, but this made me very uncomfortable and I need to go.”
She passed by his side and walked away, not looking back once, even when she heard him calling her name.
She wasn’t just shocked, she was hurting. She trusted Michel, she thought they were friends, she thought this outing had been as friends— Had he been just waiting for an opportunity to do this? Couldn’t he have at least leaned in slowly so she could move away instead of grabbing her face like that?
She rubbed her lips with the back of her hand as if that would somehow erase it. She knew it was just a kiss and she was probably exaggerating but… If she said she didn’t want something and then he just did it anyway, that was… that was just wrong.
She speed-walked to her house, wanting nothing more than to forget this happened.
A few meters away, a fresh bouquet of flowers laid discarded on the ground.
**********************
Ámbar felt the fresh air against her face. She closed her eyes for a moment, just taking in the feeling of her racing heart and the energy flowing through her muscles. She really had missed this.
She was standing by the lime green railing of the center of the park, her back and elbows resting on the metal as she took a break to refill her energy. She’d done pirouettes and jumps around this fenced circumference for a little over an hour, earning some appreciative stares from people passing by, which she enjoyed greatly. She loved feeling admired, especially because she loved what she did and knew how hard it’d been to reach this level. She remembered how her love for rollerskating had been born and wondered if any of the people who’d seen her today had left wanting to learn how to do the same. She hoped they tried it— It was a beautiful sport.
Eventually, she’d dropped the techniques and just skated around the park, looking at the scenery, at the sky, just letting her mind wander as the homely feeling of sliding on wheels lulled her accumulated stress away. When had been the last time she’d skated just for the sake of it, no choreographies or competitions in mind? It seemed like a lifetime ago.
A vibration on her jeans pocket made her open her eyes. Her heart jumped with excitement. She pulled out her phone and saw the contact she had been waiting for.
My love💙: All done, you can come back 👍
My love💙: Go directly to your room
Ámbar skated to a nearby bench to take off her helmet and change back into her boots. She wondered what Simón had planned. Maybe he’d cooked her something? She knew he and Pedro used to take care of cooking when they lived in the loft. Nico apparently couldn’t be trusted to make toasts without burning them. She wondered what kind of dishes Simón knew how to make. Maybe he could teach her some and she could make him pancakes. She was sure she could do it with some guidance from Mónica.
The idea made her smile as she made her way back to the mansion. She quickly wiped it off when she realized, showing a neutral face instead. Oh god, she’d just smiled to herself in the middle of the street. Was this what had become of her? Ámbar Smith, smiling in public like a love-struck fool. She blamed Simón.
She welcomed the heating system when she entered the mansion. She hadn’t realized how the early evening air had cooled her until she felt the contrast with indoors. Following Simón’s instruction, she rearranged her stuff in her hands and climbed up the staircase.
The minute she walked into her room, she stopped in her tracks.
“What the…”
Half her room had been invaded by bedsheets. From the foot of her bed to the back was some kind of tunnel made of different blankets, which didn’t reach higher than her waist. Some things from her shelves were on top of the ends of the blankets on each side; she gathered they worked as weights so the blankets didn’t fall off. The back of the tunnel opened into her closet. She could hardly see it— It was completely covered by bedsheets. It was like having a tent in her room.
At the front of the tunnel, she recognized the pink round ottoman she usually kept in her closet. It was standing on its side instead of the usual way, so it blocked the entrance to the archway of fabrics. Just then, she watched it slide to the right, leaned against her bedside. Behind it, crawling to fit under the blankets, appeared Simón, grinning from ear to ear.
“Surprise.”
Ámbar’s mouth was hanging open.
“I… What is all this?” She said with a stupefied smile.
“You said you’d never built blanket forts before, so I decided to make one for you,” he announced cheerily. “Come on in, check it out.” He crawled to the back. “Close in your way in!”
Still dumbfounded, Ámbar left her rollerskates and helmet on the floor next to her vanity. Usually, she’d put them back in their place first thing, but considering her closet was now a fort, that would have to wait.
She kicked off her boots and got on her knees to enter the tunnel. As she went inside, the construction became more evident: The blankets were hanging from her vanity’s chair, one of her sofa chairs and her desk on the left side, and from her bed, her second sofa chair and her pink bench on the right. She turned to put the ottoman back in its place and realized it basically worked as a sliding door. Wow, her boyfriend was so clever.
She crawled to the back, where Simón was waiting for her, sitting crossed-legged. The whole floor was covered in her dark grey carpet, and there were many pillows and blankets placed around. Bedsheet walls —there was no other way to describe it— flowed down at her right, left and in front of her closet’s shelves. Ámbar simply couldn’t believe her eyes.
“I asked Mónica to make us some snacks,” Simón said, still smiling, placing a small tray with food and drinks between them as she sat on his left. “I gathered you’d be hungry from skating. Oh! Wait, I forgot something.” He reached for an extension cord on his right and flicked the switch. Light shone all around them. “There you go.”
Ámbar looked around. Two garland lights had lit up, one on each side of them. She looked up, finding an arrangement of tiny golden lights illuminating the bedsheet ceiling. Were those Christmas lights? Where had he even gotten those?
The more she looked, the more details of his work she noticed. The bedsheet walls existed because he’d attached two parallel strings from the back of the closet to the front to hang them from. He’d taken care of hiding the cables of the lights so they wouldn’t disturb the space. There were at least three bedsheets, and she wasn’t even going to count the number of blankets he’d used in all of this.
She remembered his words that morning in the bathtub. “Don’t you feel like we’re in our own little world like this?”
It did feel like that. Like he had built a world just for her.
“Wow…”
“Do you like it?”
She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn’t tear her own from the splendor around her.
“It’s… perfect,” she said with some difficulty. Her throat had gotten tight. No one had ever put this much effort into doing something for her.
“I mean…” Simón relativized, looking around with a little grimace. “I did have to tape a lot of things together because they kept falling off…”
“Do not mess with my fort; it’s perfect,” she countered him strongly, trying to hide the tremble in her voice.
Simón chuckled lightly. His eyes stared into hers, and he must have noticed the emotion in them because his expression softened. He didn’t comment on it, just handed her a snack from the tray with a gentle smile. “Let’s eat then.”
They shared the food in comfortable silence until conversation arose naturally. How had her skating gone, how he’d found Christmas lights. It didn’t go any deeper than that.
Once finished, Simón slid the tray outside of the bedsheet wall. “To make sure we don’t knock over anything. I’ll take it back later.”
Ámbar leaned on her hands to move closer to him and kissed him. She needed to do so for a while now. He tasted of the juice he’d just drunk. It stayed on her lips as she pulled away.
“So,” she said curiously, “what do we do now?”
“I’m not sure,” Simón replied, and began to pile some pillows behind them, against the closet’s doors. “Usually when I did this I was with a friend or a cousin.”
Ámbar settled against the pillows as he did the same. “And what did you do with them?”
“We talked about kid stuff, like videogames or cartoons we were watching…”
“Uh huh…”
“Or we imagined that this was our secret base and we were professional spies, and we had to crack some code to get into the bad guys’ files or infiltrate their base to beat them.”
She gave him an appreciative look. “You’re saying I’m dating an ex-CIA agent? That’s hot.”
“Who said I ever retired?” He replied with a flirty brow lift.
Both chuckled. They shared a soft peck and Ámbar snuggled closer to him, circling her arms around his middle and resting her head on his shoulder.
“What about you?” He asked, moving some strands of her hair back. She looked up at him. “What did you play with your friends?”
“We usually invented stories for the barbies.” She dug deep into her memories, bringing back those moments long past that she hadn’t thought of in years. “Like, there was Sofía, Nicole and Camila and they were best friends, and they did everything together, from shopping to saving the world…”
“That sounds very cool.”
“It was, until Camila found out that Nicole had hooked up with her boyfriend.”
His eyes widened. “Nooo.”
“Yes.”
“That bitch.”
“Right? How could she do that to her after she bought her tickets to Milan’s fashion week?”
“The audacity. I hope Camila put her in her place.”
“Hell yeah she did. We cut her hair and everything.”
Both laughed. The things one did as a kid.
“There was this other story,” she continued after a while, “in which the doll was in love with this guy that was about to fly to another country, so she had to run to the airport to catch him before he left to tell him she loved him, but the craziest things happened to her on the way there, making it suuuper difficult.”
“Did she ever catch him?”
Ámbar turned pensive.
“I wanna believe she did,” she responded. “That she told him she loved him, and he loved her too, and they lived happily ever after.” She looked up at Simón.
“Even with the distance?” He asked, caressing her arm softly.
“Well, no one says he could never come back,” she stated. “Or she could’ve gone to him. I’m sure they found a way.”
Simón smiled, looking into her eyes as he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I think so too.”
Their gazes stayed locked until the gravity pulled them in. Their mouths met for a long second, fitting perfectly against the other’s. The kiss turned into many— Soft, languid touches of their lips that felt better than even skating.
“Did you do this with your friends too?” She couldn’t help but quip.
Simón let out a laugh. “Definitely not.” And he went back to kissing her.
Ámbar felt light; lighter than she ever remembered being. Safe, calm, warm— Like wrapped in a blanket after having been cold. Simón was like that. Like the first sunny days after winter. Like a warm bath after a long day. Like sitting in front of the hearth after having been drenched in the rain. Little things that made everything better. He was made of them, and he took care of giving her each one.
He didn’t only help her find who she wanted to be, but he also allowed her to be the carefree little girl she never got to be. Simón gave her things she didn’t realize she needed until she lived them.
Ámbar pulled back slowly and looked into his eyes.
“My love?”
“Yes?”
She curled her fingers around his t-shirt, trying to find the words to express everything she felt.
“Really, thank you so much for this. It’s… the nicest thing someone has ever done for me and…” She swallowed. “I love you. So much. So much so that it kind of makes me wanna cry.” She chuckled weakly, a little strangled.
Simón’s eyes danced with hers, deep and soft and yet burning.
He smiled and held one of her hands. “Ámbar Smith… You are my heart. I swear if it beats it’s because of you. Why should you thank me for anything if thanks to you I’m alive?”
Ámbar’s throat got too tight to answer. Her heart was beating hard in her chest, like trying to go to him. All of her, from the tips of her fingers to the soles of her feet, yearned to cling to him.
She pulled his face to hers and joined their lips tightly.
Simón responded like he felt the same, with the same depth and intensity, but she doubted he could love her a third of how much she loved him.
They unclothed each other slowly, kissing reverently each extension of skin they uncovered. Under those sheets and golden lights, Ámbar felt like they were the only thing that existed. The universe started and ended with him— With each touch of his hands, each kiss from his lips.
The fur of the carpet was soft against her back as he slid inside of her. They gasped against each other’s mouths, a shared sound of rightness. Ámbar embraced him with her whole body and breathed in his scent as she followed the gentle rocking.
Simón left kisses on her cheek, her neck, her collarbone. Ámbar dug her fingers into the softness of his hair and she stared at their fort. The lights above looked like stars. Her eyes absorbed each wrinkle, each mix of color, each scotch tape attached to a fabric. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She would’ve changed all her wealth for having this. For having Simón. Always.
He was pushing deep between her legs, as if he too wanted to live inside her and never leave her side. He panted her name and she held him tighter, feeling how the sensations flooded her and stole her breath.
He touched her where they were joined, looked into her eyes, and then everything exploded, turning Ámbar into stardust.
She was barely corporeal as she felt Simón let go, dissolve in her with his breath against her neck.
A tear fell down her cheek.
Simón saw the wet trail when he straightened and, instantly, his face filled with worry. He opened his mouth and Ámbar could see the questions in his eyes. What happened? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?
But he didn’t voice any of them. Because he looked into her eyes and he understood. Just like that, he understood. Ámbar loved him even more for it.
Simón gave her a soft smile, with just the slightest speck of sadness, and kissed the salt off her skin. That was what he always did— Accept the fragile and unsure her, not just the laughs and her best moments.
She used to think she had to be perfect to be loved. He showed her that wasn’t needed.
Simón grabbed a blanket to cover them both and brought her to his chest. Ámbar pressed her forehead to his warm skin and closed her eyes.
“I wish we never had to leave this fort,” she said softly. “We could just stay here forever. Freeze time, right on this moment.”
Then she wouldn’t have to worry anymore. She wouldn’t have to keep secrets. She wouldn’t get scared every time she felt happy. They’d never have the chance to break each other’s hearts.
She felt the vibrations on his chest as Simón hummed.
“That would be nice…” He agreed, weakly gracing her shoulder with movements of his thumb. “But I’m more excited about all the new things I can still share with you.”
Her breathing stopped for a second. Ámbar looked up and found Simón smiling at her, that smile that was the sweetest she had ever known and sometimes wondered how her life had been before she saw it. His eyes were shining, full of possibilities.
Ámbar looked at him, and against all odds, she began to laugh.
“What?” Simón asked, but she just shook her head, looking away in disbelief.
How was it that he could brighten everything with just one phrase? One second to the other, just like that? It wasn’t fair. It almost made it seem like everything she’d been worrying about were just silly things. So not fair.
Ámbar sighed, and after a beat, brought her gaze back to him.
“Do you like pancakes?”
Simón frowned, clearly confused by the change of topic. “Yeah, why?”
Ámbar smiled and settled back with her head against his chest.
“No reason.”
…
..
.
--------------------------------
(I had never written Gastina, so apology to the shippers if I didn’t get it right, but I believe it turned out pretty decent.)
Not a lot of plot advancement on this one, but I really wanted to give them, and you, this one sweet moment to hold onto. I've had the draft for this last scene since July 16th of *last year*, just so you get an idea of how long I have to wait to post the things I have in mind.
I really love this chapter, I hope you do too <3
I'll leave some reference pictures here. The first one is a drawing that I made. It was only meant for me to visualize the fort, so I apologize for the mess. If I had planned back then to share it with you guys, I would've made it prettier 😅
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Drake analysis for his birthday!
Long post, part 1 of 2! Feel free to share your thoughts!
Drake analysis;
*WARNING : MAJOR spoilers for the Gone series and Monster series, discussions of child abuse, misogynistic mindsets, victim blaming, discussion of torture, sexual assault and rape*
This is a general analysis of Drake's character, focusing mostly on scenes from GONE and HUNGER (where he, arguably, has the most autonomy). If there any specific scenes or books you'd like me to take a look at, please let me know! :)
1| Pre-Coates Drake (overview)
Drake was already showing worrying signs, even before the FAYZ (and before he got sent to Coates); it's mentioned that he found enjoyment in microwaving a puppy and burning frogs. Either this was done covertly until the Holden incident, was done at Coates, or was ignored by his family (likely the former).
This tells us a couple of things:
A. His family may neglect or ignore him (or he ignores them)
Torturing these animals, a strange hobby as it is, does require time and commitment. This distance from his parents during his formative years could create antisocial tendencies and isolation from his 'loved ones'.
B. His sadistic tendencies developed before the death of his father and his mother's remarriage (more on that later).
However, Drake didn't start hurting people until he shot the "neighbour's kid, Holden" who "liked to come over and annoy him".
This short description gives us an insight into Drake's short leash on himself: his temper and impulses are hard to control, and he's aggravated to the point of almost committing murder at a young age (he was 14 in Gone, so this could have been at any age before then) - the book tells us that despite only being shot in the leg by Drake with a .22, "even then, he'd nearly died".
This was the incident that got Drake sent to Coates (a boarding school for mostly "rich", messed-up kids) - this could also clue us into how Drake didn't appear to be legally punished for shooting Holden, as his family might have been well-off (implying they'd rather just buy the victim's silence and ship Drake away rather than deal with his issues on their own, or get a private therapist - or perhaps they believe it's out of their hands?).
However, this is based on assumptions and not solid ground.
2 | Drake and his father.
Drake was taught to shoot by his father, a Highway Patrol lieutenant, using his service pistol. This formed an integral part of who he became, and they now had something in common -
"Don't shoot a person," his father had said. But then he relented, relieved no doubt to find something he could share with his disturbing son."
Despite his father being wary of Drake's early sadistic tendencies, he seemed to be the person that Drake was closest to, and his death affected him majorly. As perhaps the only person who even slightly understood him or sought to find something to do with him, his father's death appeared to be a pivotal moment for Drake - it signalled the end of any sense of a positive male role model in Drake's life, as his mother's next husband was abusive. This would cause him to seek out "strong", violent, dominant men when he was older.
The most likely timeline in my opinion is :
•Drake develops sadistic tendencies
•Drake's father dies
•Drake's mother remarries
•Drake shoots Holden and is sent to Coates
3 | Drake and his stepfather and mother
There is subtextual information that Drake is abused by his stepfather: "the beatings he'd suffered, and the much more numerous beating he had delivered, the pleasure he had found in burning frogs and microwaving a puppy and drawing all those endless loving pictures of weapons, spears, knives, torture devices, all of it, all the hatreds, all the burning lust, all the madness and rage.."
"But he was always a troubled boy. Especially after my son died. The stepfather...young Drake’s stepfather..." - Drake Merwin Sr to Connie temple
To digress :
This small passage in Plague and Sr's speech in Light gives us leagues of information.
Drake is drawn to things that cause pain, he's sickly fascinated with all kinds of weapons, "torture devices" (cleverly hinted at in Hunger, when he's watching Saw II), and the true depth of his emotions are revealed - along with a great deal of self-awareness.
Drake doesn't lack emotion - he's incredibly emotional. The things he does feel (rage, lust, joy) seem to be felt deeper, as if his lack of empathy amplifies the rest of his spectrum of emotions. Drake is also aware of what he feels - the "burning lust" mentioned is especially important to understanding Drake - the misogynistic hatred of Astrid and Diana stems from his apparent inability to distinguish between sexual attraction and causing pain (again, his sadistic desires)
The two are one, in Drake's mind.
[More on that later*]
But where did the misogynist mindset come from in the first place?
The answer lies in Drake's home life following the death of his father.
Drake's mother remarried - but his stepfather was an abusive man, leading to an incredibly toxic relationship. Drake, in his youth, already having the urge to hurt and kill, was exposed to that kind of extreme violence. Drake's stepfather beat his mother in front of him, and because his mother seemingly took actions to antagonise him enough to beat her, Drake (with the mindset of a child, who may have already seen it as a betrayal by his mother to remarry after his father's death)
concluded that she did it deliberately because she liked it.
This misconstruction and victim-blaming set in place a cycle of violence that would form Drake's victim-perpetrator mindset. [*]
It could also imply that Drake's mother's actions of irritating his stepfather directly impacted Drake himself: his stepfather took out his anger on his stepson, and beat Drake too.
This could stand to reason as another explanation why Drake's hatred of women developed - lacking positive female role models and maternal figures in his life led to distance from women, and led him to think that all women were intrinsically weak, irritating and masochistic in their desires.
(This would establish a sadistic-masochistic dynamic that Drake believed all woman [for some, like Astrid, secretly] wanted / partook in, and fuel the idea that women were weak and cowardly as his mother failed to protect him from her husband's violence.)
With a stunted, childish psyche, Drake lost sight of the real issue - the fact that his stepfather was abusive - and directed his anger at someone "safe" and "easy" to hate- his mother, whom he victim-blamed.
We can infer that Drake's childhood was filled with uncertainty and violence, and therefore he sought out control as a way to find a sense of stability in his life, and linked violence with strength and power - therefore, he won't recognise any authority that doesn't use violence as the main way to achieve its aims (hence why he's so gleeful when Caine "is lowered to his level" by using violence, and Drake himself only exercises power through shows of violence and using fear as a means of control - he has no sense of loyalty)
The build-up of resentment at his mother would explode, but not at its original target - at Drake's two known objects of sexual attraction in the FAYZ, Astrid and Diana [who will be addressed separately, as their treatments differ in some aspects. In this post I believe I'll only be addressing Diana, but if you want the full Astrid post comment I guess!]
4| Drake and Diana
A.
Drake fears humiliation - mainly, from the female population. In Gone, Drake comments on this :
"He felt a moment of panic then...He would look like a fool if he didn't get [Astrid]."
"Drake cursed and, again, for just a moment, felt the almost desperate fear of failing Caine. He wasn't worried what Caine would do to him - after all, Caine needed him- but he knew if he failed to carry out Caine's orders, Diana would laugh."
What Drake hates about Diana here is her ability to make him feel humiliated, weak, powerless, a failure - everything he's bound to have felt in his childhood when he couldn't protect his mother or himself against his stepfather. He craves the feeling of power over others, and loathes the feeling of helplessness. We can see that he's aware that Caine uses him and needs him to act as a threat, and he accepts this for now, with the ultimate goal of overthrowing him, but his real fear is being publicly seen as weak and being laughed at, which drives him to do anything to succeed in Caine's eyes and, in his own words, "wipe the smirk off Diana's face"
B.
"Drake had made time to check out Diana's psych file the day after the FAYZ came. But her file had been missing by then. In its place she had left Drake's file lying open on the doc's desk and drawn a little smiley face beside the word "sadist".
Drake had already hated her. But after that, hating Diana had become a full-time occupation."
Diana humiliates Drake, and gains power over him by knowing information about his mental state. Drake, who had the same idea to gain power over Diana, is infuriated and his hatred of her, once a burning ember, is now a raging volcano. We can see that Drake doesn't fear that Diana will hurt him psychically, but emotionally by provoking and humiliating him.
C.
"To Drake's disgust, Caine accepted Diana's back-talk."
Diana has power over Caine that Drake can't hope to accomplish, due to the fact that Caine is attracted to her. Caine's desire of Diana outweighs any loyalty or comradeship he has with Drake. Diana also uses Caine's want for her as a failsafe protection against Drake.
Drake's misogyny shines through here: he sees the fact that Diana is manipulating Caine, and sees how he tolerates it. Drake realises that Diana can get away with much more than Drake himself can - she has more power over Caine than Drake does. And this power, in Drake's eyes, isn't "earned" as it wasn't gained through violence.
Drake disregards any kind of power that isn't earned through pain - this also shows in his hatred of freaks, who he sees as not having "earned" the right to be powerful, and explains his glee at, yes,suffering the pain of his arm being burnt off, but it being replaced by something that enables him to cause pain to others - like a reward for enduring the pain. Drake wants his suffering to mean something, and to gain something from it. Drake wants to be important.
"Go ahead, raise a hand against me, Drake," Diana taunted. "Caine would kill you."
We see another example where Diana uses the threat of Caine to keep Drake in line.
Diana is described as attractive throughout the books by varying characters, and so we infer that Drake finds her attractive, but in his twisted, misognyistic mindset, this is translated to violence. Additionally, he already disliked her so his hatred for Diana is stronger than for any other girl in the FAYZ (even Astrid).
5| Drake and Caine
The foreshadowing of Drake's betrayal
We've established that Drake lacks any sense of loyalty and trust due to a lack of these in his own childhood. Drake also only sees respect as being earned by shows of violence and dominance.
Drake, lacking positive male role models, appears to latch on to Caine, the "most ruthless" of all the boys at Coates, and the most powerful (in a literal sense, with his telekinesis). Caine is mentioned to do small favours for Drake (but, crucially, plays Drake and Diana off against each other [*]), and seemingly gains Drake's initial respect.
Drake, however, seeks to usurp Caine (due to his hatred of freaks, and needing to have a sense of superiority. He also sees Caine as weak and below him for bowing to Diana's demands due to Caine being attracted to her.)
When the Coates trio is first introduced together, in Gone, - "Drake Merwin stood smirking, arms across his chest, on Caine's left, and Diana Ladris watched the crowd from Caine's right"
I'm perhaps guilty of looking too much into this initial description, but I find it interesting - despite being Caine's "right-hand man" and even Drake taunts Diana that he and Caine are "like brothers" (Hunger), Drake stands on his left and Diana on his right.
While this also serves to cement (haha) Caine's role as the 'Fearless Leader', it could also foreshadow Drake's betrayal later in Hunger, and his need to "run the show".
Drake, the Judas figure to Caine's christ [maybe a post on this at some point?*], stands on his left. It also marks Diana as the loyal follower, the one to stay with Caine until the end.
The decimation of Drake and Caine's relations ship culminates in the final events of HUNGER, when Drake almost kills Diana and Caine throws Drake down the mineshaft in revenge and anger.
This marks a shift to Drake's character - he's no longer under Caine's control - but emphasises that his loyalty is now fully to the Gaiaphage, whom he worships for giving him power over others [!!] (the whip hand, which grants him the ability to hurt and kill others, and in LIES, immorality)
We can see that what Drake actually craves is, in GONE: to run things himself, a personal anarchist dream where he can hurt anyone he wants, (and yet he needs a strong male figure behind the scenes to give him motivation), or the illusion of control, found in causing others pain, as he lacks the mental stability and leadership needed to be in control, and he lacks long-term goals beyond revenge and fulfilling his sadistic desires, and is rudderless without a leader (as seen in Monster, where he is "mindlessly killing, torturing and raping anyone he comes across" until he is sought out by Tom Peaks, who gives him motivation)
This is supported by Peaks' comment on this in VILLAIN -
"But along with the sneers, he sensed that Drake was looking for leadership. Drake had no plan, never would have any plan, beyond his next murder."
Drake and his hatred of freaks, and how this impacts his relationship with Caine -
"Drake hated the power. There was only one reason why Caine and not Drake was running the show: Caine's powers."
"But Caine understood that the kids with powers had to be controlled. And once Caine and Diana had all the freaks under control, what was to stop Drake from using his own nine millimetres of magic to take it all for himself?"
Drake always planned to usurp Caine, as he thinks he's too influenced by Diana and due to his hatred of freaks. Drake hates anyone having power over him, and Caine's abilities give him a unique advantage, which Drake loathes.
Caine and Drake - altercations before the betrayal and what they show
"She was your mother and she gave you up and kept Sam?" Drake said, laughing in his enjoyment of Caine's humiliation.
Drake's sadism shines through and he turns entirely reckless in tormenting Caine, his desire to see Caine humiliated outweighing any fear he has of him. For Drake, fulfilling these sadistic urges take precedence over everything - even fear, pain, rage. We can see that he seems to not know when to stop, or chooses to push people past their limits anyways.
Caine responds in physical violence, the language Drake seems to understand - "Something slammed Drake's chest. It was like being hit by a truck. He was lifted off his feet and thrown against the wall."
Drake refuses to be humiliated (in front of Diana, curiously) - "He made himself shake it off. He wanted to jump up and go for Caine, finish him quick before the freak could hit him again. But Caine was there, looming over him, face red, teeth bared, looking like a mad dog."
"Remember who's the boss, Drake," Caine said, his voice low, guttural, like it was coming from an animal."
"Drake nodded, beaten. For now."
This small passage gives us a lot of messages about Drake. He wants to appear strong and vicious, but plays it smart and backs down to avoid the risk of Caine actually killing him. Drake and Caine's dynamic is, crucially, a power struggle at its heart.
However, Drake doesn't give up - he's admirably resilient and persistent in chasing his goals of revenge, and "winning" the power struggle against Caine. He does, at least in GONE, possess a good amount of intelligence and foresight.
Caine (and Diana) being aware of Drake's psychopathy
Caine :
"Drake is a violent, disturbed boy." - Caine to Sam, the gym scene in GONE.
Caine knows of Drake's afflictions, but keeps him around as a lackey to do his dirty work. He also considers himself morally superior to Drake - he remarks that at least he doesn't "get off" on what he does.
Hypocritically, Caine does not see his own actions as being just as damaging, but this is due to his overinflated ego and delusions of grandeur - he believes the ends he wants justifies the means he uses.
Diana :
"Drake is sick in the head. I'm not saying that just to scare you, I'm saying it because it's true...Drake is flat out sick in the head. He could kill her, Sam" - Diana to Sam, the gym scene in GONE.
"Well, that's why we keep Drake around. He enjoys hurting people." - Diana to Astrid, classroom scene in GONE.
Diana shares a similar opinion to Caine - he's mentally unhinged, but Diana recognises the threat he poses to both her and to Caine, and wants him gone.
6| Drake and dominance & submission
A.
"Drake moved past Diana and kicked Sam onto his back, legs twisted beneath him. Drake stood over him and pushed the end of his hat against Sam's Adam's apple. The same move he had used on Orc the night before."
We see that Drake is physically strong, despite his unassuming stature - he's described as "lean". He has been in enough fights and has enough experience to take down people at least "fifty pounds" heavier than him (Orc). He also puts these people into humiliating, submissive positions where they have no choice but to capitulate to his demands.
B.
He speaks to Astrid in LIGHT about this -
"Are you as clueless as the rest of them, Astrid? It’s simple. Here it is, here’s the answer, Astrid the Genius: it’s fun to hurt people. It’s such…it’s such joy, Astrid. Such joy realizing that all the power is yours, and all the fear and pain is right there, in your victim. Come on, smart girl, you know what it’s called. You know the word for it. Come on, say it.’ He cupped his hand to his ear, waiting for the word.
'Evil,’ Astrid said.
Drake laughed, threw up his hand wide, and nodded his head. 'Evil! There you go. Good for you. Evil. It’s in all of us. You know that, too. It was in you. I saw it in your eyes as you looked down on me in that cooler. Evil, hah. We all want to have someone powerless beneath us while we stand over them.’ His voice had grown husky. 'We all want that. We all want that.’
One thing that stands out about Drake's character is that he likes to believe that everyone, at some level, has the same desires he does: Drake is just "strong" enough to act on them.
Drake likes to antagonise people to 'bring them down to his level'.
In this speech, Drake reveals a lot about himself.
"it's fun to hurt people" ,in particular, keys us in to the fact that Drake is self-aware, and making Astrid call him "evil" is part of this: Drake knows what he's doing is morally wrong. Drake wants people to think that he is evil, that he's ruthless, that he's nothing but a sadistic murderer, because he doesn't want to reveal his true vulnerability and helplessness.
He calls out the hypocrisy of Astrid for seemingly reveling in his pain and still condemning him for the desires over which he has no control. [This is not to say that I believe he is right for acting on them; the urges he can't control, but he can control his actions]. This is Drake's make me your villain speech. His final cry for help, in a way.
He wants everyone to be like him. He wants to not be judged, he aches for the confirmation that he is not alone in wanting power and vengeance and pain.
"We all want to have someone powerless beneath us while we stand over them." - Drake's experience of the roles being reversed, and the victim-perpetrator cycle show through here. Drake seeks power because he was denied it.
It is paradoxical in that, arguably, he wouldn't be like this if people hadn't punished him for things he couldn't control (involuntary sadistic impulses), and it is sad that we realise he could have been so much more, had circumstances been different.
Drake is a dark mirror of every dark thought we ever have. He, horrifyingly so, reflects the human urge to inflict pain as revenge. Drake's story is a cautionary tale. Many can relate to his harsh childhood, and Drake reminds us that no matter how much pain is inflicted on us, we bear the weight of not continuing that cycle onto others. That is the curse of being good. That is the curse of being human. That is the curse of empathy.
C.
Crucifixion - in MONSTER, it is revealed that Drake has been 'alive' for years, and we find out in VILLAIN that he resides in a cave in the desert along with 3 bodies - 2 female, one male, people he recently tortured. He crucified them with "railroad spikes" and left them to hang from the bones of their wrists. We can see that Drake leaves them in humiliating positions deliberately - "The only thing better would be to have Sam nailed to the opposite wall, forced to watch it all. To see Astrid degraded as Sam watched? He could not imagine anything better."
This is an example of his psychosexual development being warped - he associates sex with violence and power. He tortures and degrades his victims as a way to fulfil his sexual and sadistic urges.
7| Drake and Orc as foils
Drake and Orc first oppose each other in the early chapters of GONE - Drake is given power over Orc by Caine - "Drake and his people, including Captain Orc.."
This establishes a hierarchy within the "sherrifs". Drake leads them, but ultimately defers to Caine - (and, he is given power over others at Caine's will.)
Orc, like Drake, had a traumatic childhood and was abused by his father, and his "dumb dishrag" mother does nothing to stop it (she herself is abused by her husband, and rebukes Charles for wanting to kill his father.)
Both Orc and Drake blame their mothers for failing to stop the abuse of their husbands (and their father and step-father in Drake's case).
This is an interesting comparison, as it cements (haha) both Orc and Drake as bullies with short tempers who need to have control, each with a shrewd, conniving friend who effectively "leads" them.
Also, for the most part in the books, they're the only characters with physical mutations (both resulting from physical injury!) and turn their backs on the shrewd friend at some point (Drake and Caine becoming enemies, Orc finding faith and becoming distanced from Howard's crimes).
The fight between them at the start of GONE is a clever foreshadow to their battle at the end of GONE (and, of course, their long-lasting rivalry) and provides a comparison between the two.
They butt heads when Orc is ordered to defer to Drake when Caine is giving out roles, and Caine handles it by crushing a boy with a cross - but no physical altercation happens until Orc punishes Bette for "doing magic tricks".
The anti-freak agenda (ironic, considering they both end up gaining mutations, at similar points too!) of both Drake and Orc is pointed out, but Orc is almost painted as a "lesser evil" - as if Orc may be a garden-variety bully, but Drake is pure, distilled essence of evil.
"Orc...went for Drake like a linebacker. Drake stepped aside, nimble as a matador."
"Drake hit Orc in the ribs with a short, sharp forward thrust of the bat. Then again in the kidneys and again in the side of the head. Each blow was measured, accurate, effective."
Drake is the quick and nimble to Orc's sluggishness, the playfulness to Orc's sullen demeanour. He is "lean" where Orc is "wide" - their battle at the end is described as "their quick-and-slow, nimble-and-heavy, sharp-and-dull battle".
This is a perfectly well written description in my opinion - succinct, and perfectly accurate of them.
The main differences, however, are their personal views on their mutations, and their arcs.
Orc thinks he's a monster - he knows he is physically repulsive, and detests himself. He feels immense guilt over the pain he caused, and seeks to redeem himself through finding faith and asking for forgiveness from God.
Drake, in contrast, adores the power that his mutation gives him. He even describes himself as "Jesus with a whip". His mutation, in Drake's eyes, gives him control over others and he relishes in this.
Drake feels no remorse over the pain he causes, and doesn't desire redemption.
His God-figure is the Gaiaphage, whom he eventually betrays as he desires personal revenge on Astrid and Diana and cannot cope with Gaia being female due to his misogynistic views.
However, Drake and Orc share an interesting scene in Plague with Astrid - Orc seeks out Astrid with the intent to hurt her (it is implied to be sexual violence) and is interrupted by Drake arriving at Coates with his army of bugs. Drake picks up on Orc's intentions.
Drake confesses to Orc that he had the same idea.
"You think she'll give you a big, wet kiss on your gravel face?" He peered closer at Orc as if looking inside him. "Nah, Orc, the only way you get Astrid is the same way I get her. And that's what you were thinking, isn't it?"
#drake merwin#caine soren#gone series#fayz#the gone series#diana ladris#michael grant#sam temple#astrid ellison
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I know you've said before that you think Caine and Drake are pretty one-dimensional (and I agree completely). I was wondering if there were any other villains that you wish had been explored more instead of giving those two more page time in later books. Or if there were any characters that you thought could have had villainous potential that were unexplored??
wow, interesting question! i think my main problem with caine and drake is that they’re just kind of blandly evil, one-dimensional like you said. i think, ideally, villains should feel like real people.
funnily enough, i think zil probably comes closest to embodying that in this series. he’s mean-spirited from the beginning, but it’s only under lance’s influence (from what i remember) that he becomes a real threat due to his gaining confidence. i think it would have been nice to see more of him in the series—he’s insecure in his role as leader of the human crew, which makes him fallible. he’s also kind of unnerved by lance’s neo-nazism. he’s arguably the most intelligent out of the crew aside from lance. he’s not sympathetic, per se, but he is compelling.
i would’ve liked to see him interact more directly with the protagonists—especially astrid, because i think she should get a chance to one-up him in some way after he was thinking creepy thoughts about her in hunger. also, i think astrid, being the smartie she is, would probably be most likely to try to persuade him to turn over a new leaf—she’s a normal, and a white, aryan-looking (gag) normal at that, which would probably satisfy lance, and she still has distinct power in the fayz. though zil could probably poke a hole in her argument by pointing out that she only really has that power because she’s sam’s girlfriend, which is true. anyway, they could have words about it.
i think zil is compelling because he has the potential to be redeemed. it’s a slight potential, because he’s already done some pretty evil things, but he’s not totally evil—he has to justify the violence he commits in order to accept it, which is more than caine or drake does. we never forget that, at the end of the day, he’s still an insecure, blustering twelve-year-old. he’s an anti-moof bigot, but he could change. i think lance, more than zil, represents total irredeemable evil. he represents what zil could descend into being. he’s the devil on his shoulder (astrid could potentially be the angel if she maybe switched tactics from lawful punishment to direct emotional manipulation).
i’m a sucker for human villains and natural disasters being the principal antagonists, which i think is why the first four books work so well? i think fear and light suffer from the gaiaphage taking control of the narrative, villain-wise, when i think it worked best when used sparingly. gaia is pure evil, nothing more. she’s fun to read about in her own way because she’s so villainously campy, but that’s kind of it. she’s not really interesting, imo.
i think the reason why i harp so much on the insufficient “humanity” of antagonists like caine and drake is because that’s the principal strength of books (lord of the flies, battle royale) in the “kids trapped in place and forced to survive” genre: what do the actions of the characters say about human nature? about society? about morality? in lord of the flies, the message conveyed is ultimately a bleak one: the kids all descend into savagery in one way or another, with the purest one of them all, simon (the jesus figure) being driven insane, and the intellectual (piggy) being murdered. the story is all about “the darkness in the human heart,” to paraphrase the last line of the book.
in battle royale, on the contrary, the message is ultimately one of hope. despite the characters living in a dystopian fascist society that sacrifices one class of students to a killing game, the main character shuya clings to the idea that he and his classmates can figure out an alternate way to survive the titular battle royale aside from murdering each other. his compassionate view of humanity is validated by the pov vignettes given to all his classmates. all of them are given distinct personalities; some are kind, like shuya and his allies noriko and shogo, and some are drake-esque sadists, while the majority fall somewhere in between (my personal favorite characters are the girls that team up with one another in order to protect themselves from possible sexual violence from the boys. they hole up in a lighthouse!). but all are tragic in the sense that they’re children thrust into an unfair and cruel situation. even then, though, the nobility of certain characters shines through.
for instance, there are two girls at the beginning of the game who are best friends and don’t want to kill anyone. they (foolishly or bravely) use a megaphone to call out to the other kids in hiding, asking if they can all band together. shuya and several other characters are tempted, but sadly the girls are both fatally shot soon after their announcement. they die in each other’s arms after affirming their friendship, tears in their eyes. shuya and several other kids are devastated by the girls’ deaths. while some more callous characters deride them as being stupid and naïve, the reader is ultimately meant to mourn their deaths and the lost potential of a class-wide alliance. they know that their enemy isn’t their classmates, but rather the fascist government that makes them kill each other in the first place.
anyway—tangent aside—i think those two aforementioned novels are really solid examples of the genre gone is in. gone has more of superhero vibe to it, given the focus on powers and mutations and paper-thin evil villains, but i almost think the way that’s executed almost detracts against the aforementioned “kids surviving, etc.” genre? like, that’s all about the messiness of morality and human nature and whatnot, and while superhero comics can weave that into their narratives (watchmen, the brat pack) those are usually deconstructions of the genre than straightforward examples of it. the superhero genre is usually morally black-and-white and really action-focused. this is why i think we get the strange tonal mixture of kids reacting realistically to the trauma of starving versus reacting fairly unrealistically when faced with brutal superpowered violence, such as when brianna decapitates drake like it’s nbd. or anything brianna does, really.
there’s a shift from the realistic to the unrealistic that’s fun, but tonally dissonant from each other. so there’s this sort of disconnect, at least for me. i sympathize greatly for astrid when she’s slapped by drake and forced to call little pete a slur, for instance, but how many times does drake or caine murder a kid in cold blood? at some point it gets...idk, old? as the violence gets more cartoony the less it interests me aside from morbid fascination, and there’s just so much of it. it gets desensitizing after a while. i think that’s why, even though i think it’s handled fairly believably in gone, i had a lot more trouble with the monster trilogy’s blend of absurdism (the animorphs-style mutations like dekka turning into a cat woman with medusa hair and another character turning into a praying mantis with super speed, etc.) vs. grimdark realism (ICE forcibly deports a character’s father, terrorist violence is a common theme, the san francisco bridge is destroyed, a baby boy is mutated into a giant fuzzy caterpillar and then gets blown up by the military—like this is budding dystopia-level dark and the narrative doesn’t seem to realize it). it just feels too heavy and too light at the same time. the contrast of tones does a disservice to both of them. idk what i’m saying let’s get back to your actual question lol
as for characters with villainous potential...hmmm. tbh i think astrid has villainous potential? i mean, i like the idea of her moral righteousness escalating in a way that makes her more morally gray. she’d have to probably latch onto more powerful kids in order to have any leverage over sam and the gang, given her powerlessness. maybe she could manipulate orc into being her bodyguard while she plots to usurp sam or something asgjsjk. i think she could be a powerful threat if she wanted to be! it’s fun to ponder. i heard of an au where she joins the human crew that i thought was sort of interesting!
what do you think, @goneseriesanalysis? any villains you wish had been dived into more, and/or characters with villainous potential you think would have been cool to explore?
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After Effects Chapter 4
Chapter 4 here we go!!!!!!
The first thing Bracken noticed when he entered the room was the blinding light coming from Kendra. The aura that surrounded her seemed to have brightened in a way that definitely didn't fit the sickly pallor of her skin. Bracken squinted against it, willing his eyes to adjust. Over the years Kendra had gotten much better at controlling the brightness of her aura. To the point that, if you didn't know her, she could pass as fairy struck. Bracken wanted to chalk the sudden brightness up to the fact that she was too tired or too ill to control it but something told him it went deeper than that.
Tanu had told Bracken everything he knew about these symptoms,and Seth had told him everything that had happened up until this point. Something still wasn't adding up. Tanu was convinced that this was poison, but Bracken couldn't bring himself to agree with him. Kendra hadn't been in contact with anything to poison her. And no matter how hard he searched be couldn't find any sign of illness. Magical or otherwise. He decided he needed a new set of eyes, someone who wasn't shaking with anxiety. Someone who knew more about everything magic. The only person he knew like that was his mother. Over the course of 30 minutes, the symptoms seemed to be worsening instead of getting better. Her fever seemed to be slowly rising even higher. All color had drained her face, leaving Kendra as white as a sheet. What scared Bracken the most was that he couldn't reach her mind. Something impenetrable was blocking him. This meant he couldn't wake her or reach her mind to ask her what was wrong. Her breathing was ragged and short, as if it was a struggle to breathe. There was no doubt in Bracken's mind that he needed to get her to the fairy realm. Fast.
Something curious about what the whole situation was that Kendra's condition seemed to improve, even if only marginally, whenever she came in contact with Seth. The change wasn't noticeable unless you truly looked for it but whenever Seth got close enough or brushed against her, Kendra's face would take on a much less pained look and her thrashing would immediately settle. Bracken however couldn't decided what significance that held, if any. The siblings were impossibly close and it could very well be a reflection of that bond. Besides they were literally the others counterpart, complete opposites, in everyway shape and form. Over the years they had stunned Bracken, along with the rest of the magical world, with the things they were able to do together. Never before had light and darkness mixed in this way. Never before had they worked together, and the results were honestly astounding. Time and time again Bracken was reminded of how thankful he was that Kendra and Seth were on their side. Otherwise Bracken is sure that nothing would stop them from taking over the world.
Bracken reached for Kendra's face, attempting to brush away the hair that was matted to her face with sweat. He almost recoiled at the heat that assaulted his hand. He took a moment to focus on cooling his hand in hopes that some of that chill would seep in and bring down the fever that was raging through her body. He also tried to send waves of calm through her , as he had done so many times before, attempting to soothe her tortured mind even if he could not reach it. Bracken frowned when this seemed to make it worse and pulled his hand away. His heart aching with helplessness. This was something that he couldn't help her with. Something that he couldn't protect her from. And he hated every second of it. The fact that he seemed to have made it worse made him feel endlessly guilty and caused tears to well up in his eyes. Tears that he would refuse to let fall. Kendra's thrashing was reaching new levels and Bracken was worried that she was going to hurt herself. Tanu seemed to be thinking the same thing but Bracken stopped him before he could grab her.
"Seth, place you hand on her back," Bracken ordered, desperately trying to keep the shake out of his voice. Later when Kendra was settled and on the mend, he would break down but right now he shoved all of those feelings into a tightly sealed chest and assumed his perfectly practiced poker face. Seth looked incredibly confused but still did as he said without asking questions. Something Bracken was grateful for because Bracken wasn't quite sure he could give him answers. Bracken's earlier theories about her improving around Seth were proven true the second Seth's hand came into contact with her body and immediately her thrashing stopped. " Good. Keep it there, " He instructed. Seth nodded, looking every bit as bewildered as Bracken felt. In the moment the new development was very useful but in the long run it made things much more difficult. Kendra needed to get to the Fairy Realm however it seemed that the only person who was able to touch her safely was Seth. The one person who couldn't step foot in the Fairy Realm without lowering the defenses. Defenses that were already lowered because of the imbalance of the sources. Bracken dragged a hand down his face as he struggled to think of a solution and came up with only one.
"Seth pick her up, we need to get her to the Fairy Realm," If it was possible for Seth to look more confused he did. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked for all the world like almost puppy. It was times like these that Bracken wondered why people thought Seth was so scary. But then he remembered the fearsome displays of power and the towering height of the shadow charmer didn't help the image at all.
"I can't safely enter the Fairy Realm," He replied, picking Kendra up despite his confusion. Bracken chose to focus on Seth's eyes which were at least a good inch above his own, instead of the way Kendra hung limp and lifeless in his arms.
"No but you're the only one who seems to be able to touch her with sending her into a fit,"
" So we're going to what? Bring the Fairy Realm to us?" Bracken hand honestly pondered that suggestion however it would be nearly impossible to move everything needed into a either a secluded area or the main house. Even if it was somehow possible, it would take much too long. The solution he came up with wasn't much better in his opinion.
" No, the only thing I can think to do is to walk from here to the shrine and then I'll get her into the Fairy Realm, " Bracken said through a sigh, residing the urge to run his hand down his fave again or better yet tug out every strand of hair he had. The anxiety of the situation was eating him alive, churning his insides and causing his heart to pound seemingly out of control. It was taking everything in him not to break down.
" The walk there is about an hour from the main house at minimum," Came the deep voice of Tanu, who Bracken had honestly forgotten was there. The concern was written all over his face. Bracken picked up on the implications of that statement. The worry that none of them were willing to admit. It sent a pang through his heart and his desperation rose to new levels. " I would suggest taking Hugo. Hugo could carry Seth who could still keep in contact with Kendra and you could have an Astrid carry you."
The plan was brilliant and Bracken couldn't help but beat himself up because he didn't think of it. He tried his best not to think about what would have happened had Tanu no been here because the other man was right, an hour was much too long. Still he couldn't help but feel an immense wave of guilt, he wasn't entirely sure he grasped why but he felt as if this was his fault. Like he could have and should have done something to prevent this. He bring himself to nod, not sure if his voice would hold up, and forced down tears once more before turning towards the door with Seth in tow. He shot a look at Tanu from over his shoulder, hoping that it conveyed his gratitude and the tight but kind smile he got in return seemed to reply that he understood. When Bracken stepped outside, he found Seth had already called Hugo and was currently being lifted unto his shoulder. He wasn't exactly sure how it was possible but somehow, Hugo looked just as concerned as the rest of them. All activity in the yard seemed to have ceased as the fairies all stopped staring and occasionally whispering amongst themselves. Because, no matter how vain they were Kendra was still a respected member of the Fairy Realm. Even the most vain of fairies protect their own. Bracken brought his fingers to his lips in a shrill whistle, summoning the Astrids that had been lurking at the edge of the forest. He quickly explained the plan as Seth in turned explained it to Hugo. And then they were off.
The wind rustled in his ears and his hair blew backwards, occasionally smacking him in the face. He could hear the thumping of Hugo quick footsteps as he easily, kept up with the Astrid flying above him. For a few moments a group of fairies had followed, wanting to watch the event unfold, but one sharp look from him sent them scurrying back to the main yard. Any other day Bracken would have felt bad, seeing as they weren't really doing anything wrong however right now he had other things on his mind.
The short ride seemed to take an eternity. The passing minutes felt torturous. Finally the shrine came into view surrounded by its glistening lake and the gazebos that generally held good memories for Bracken. The Astrid deposited him on the island that held the shrine at the same moment that Hugo came bursting through the shrine sending leaves an birds scattering. The Astrid flew over and took Kendra from Seth before flying back, bypassing the journey over the lake, though he doubted the Niaids would bother them. That had been yet another oversight on his part, another thing he hadn't thought through, another thing that could have held dire results. His guilt continued to mount as the Astrid landed and passed Kendra over to him. He tightened his grip, holding her as her body stiffened and trembled, and stepped into the soothing light that would lead him into the Fairy Realm.
††††
The hospital infirmary was bustling as different healers ran around grabbing supplies and searching for solutions to an unknown problem. Celeste, his normally quite and timid sister, was confidently shouting orders and she stood at the head of Kendra's bed assessing the situation. Bracken stood helplessly at the entrance of the infirmary unable to go any further as it would hinder the progress of the healers. Kendra was thrashing again making it difficult to assess her condition. Pained whimpers left her mouth. He was sure that they were barely audible to everyone else, especially over the chaos but he heard every single one. And each one was like someone took a hammer to his heart, continually shattering it into millions of pieces.
The sounds of the infirmary began to fade out around him, replaced with thoughts that were much to loud. His chest tightened and seemed to restrict his breathing, causing it to come out in sharp pants. A firm hand was placed one his shoulder and an arm wrapped around him and he was forced out of the entryway and eased onto the cold marble floor. He wanted so bad to fight, to get back to Kendra, to help in someway but his body betrayed him. His panic deciding it would no longer be ignored and robbed him of his strength. And so all he could do was sit there and pant, desperately trying to draw in a full breath but failing every time. Hot tears burned down his cheeks and harsh sobs racked his body. The hands that had guided him out now cradled him, fingers gently scrapping against his scalp paired with a gentle rocking. For a moment he allowed himself to believe that it was Kendra. Calming him down after he woke up from a particularly harsh nightmare.
Eventually he began to calm down. Not because he felt better, no if it was possible he felt worse than before but, because he was too drained to continue and numbness had begun to set in. He pushed away from whoever was comforting him, feeling a deeps sense of shame fill him at his display of despair. He felt, as he always did in the palace, that a Prince should be more composed that he had an image to uphold. He slowly worked up the courage to look the person in the eyes and was shocked to be met with the concerned blue eyes of his father. This father didn't say anything, he rarely did these day. A far cry from the loud laughter of his childhood. Instead he just sat beside him keep a firm grip on his hand. He could hear his mother inside of the infirmary, presumably finding a way to help like Bracken wished that he could.
Time passed, though he wasn't sure how much. Everything seemed to move in a bit if a blur. It wasn't like before in the infirmary. This time he was aware that things were going on around him however he couldn't quite focus enough to identify them. Honestly, he couldn't bring himself to care what they were anyway. His thoughts continued to torture him with what if's and the steady presence of his father, while helpful, did little to combat it. If Kendra was here she would read to him, filling the silence with enough to keep his thoughts at bay while also not forcing his mind to Interact if it wasn't ready. That seemed to be all he could focus on right now. Thoughts of Kendra, ways that she always helped him and here he was unable to help her.
He distantly heard the voice of his mother calling his name but it was enough to pull him out of his haze. Next to his mother stood Celeste looking worried and uncertain. Bracken's anxiety began to pick back up but he shoved it down hoping that it would remain at bay. He stood on shaky legs, his father's hand falling from his grasp. He was instantly aware of the loss, he hadn't realized how much it had been helping him until it was gone. He followed them back into the infirmary where his eyes were immediately drawn to Kendra. Her light was still unnaturally bright and her face still held evidence of pain however her body looked relaxed for the first time since he'd arrived at Fablehaven earlier in the day. It was hard to believe that it was only about and hour or two ago. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since then. Bracken's tore his gaze away from Kendra and looked towards his mother and sister, eyes darting between them. Waiting impatiently for either of them to say something. To tell him what was wrong and how to fix it. Celeste was the one to break the silence with the clearing of her throat.
"What Kendra has is actually fairly common. Well, as common as Fairly Realm diseases can be. It's actually the same thing the ill fairies have come in with. Kendra has light poisoning," Celeste explained quietly. Bracken had heard of light poisoning, he had actually experienced it himself after a particularly interesting failed misadventure in his youth. Bracken however, had been visited the infirmary and had been better within the hour. Just time for a lengthy lecture, much to his displeasure. The same could not be said for Kendra who had only slightly improved. Mostly due to the fact that her fever had been successfully brought down. The explanation honestly made sense as it provided an explanation as to why Bracken couldn't sense anything. The problem wasn't being caused by an illness or physical poison, it was caused by light itself in turn explaining why her aura was so bright. It also explained why she improved around Seth. The natural darkness inside of him most likely cut through the light, bringing some sense of balance back into her body.
" Why is Kendra's body responding differently than the fairies?" Bracken asked, glancing around the otherwise empty infirmary that had been filled with fairies earlier in the day. Fairies that were now out going on with their lives as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
" Simple, our make ups are different. When our bodies come across a problem we simply purify and heal it instantly. When the human body runs into a problem it either attacks it or tries to work around it. Kendra's body is attacking whatever is poisoning her." His mother explained, " The problem is the thing that's poisoning her is light. She's a fairykind meaning that the light is a part of her, so instead of her body attacking what it views as poison-"
" It's attacking itself."Bracken finished running a hand down his face at the revelation. A revelation that once again explained many things. Her deteriorating state and her residence to treatments to state a few. " So, what do we do now?" He asked, closing the question that had been heavily on his mind ever since they arrived in the Fairy Realm.
"I don't know," Celeste admitted, her voice sounding shaky. Kendra and Celeste had gotten off to a bit of a rough start, mostly due to Celeste's quiet nature, but over time the pair had become rather close. " The best we can do is repair the damage her body does in an attempt to cleanse itself and hope that the poisoning wears off or lessens overtime," Bracken glanced at Kendra, looking as white as the sheets and much too small. The grim statement fueled his anxiety and he found himself gripping onto her limp hand, trying to force some of his strength into her body and praying that she was strong enough to pull through this.
†††††
Ok so here's chapter four. I honestly kind of hate it because it fought be the ENTIRE TIME! On the bright side I am officially done rewriting and I can now continue the story which is the fun part! As always let me know what you think and what you want to see next. I also absolutely love hearing what you guys think is going to happen next!
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The Way of Time (Rdr2 fanfic) - Chapter 6 (2/3)
Part 1 here: https://fedeipox.tumblr.com/post/640021017292636160/the-way-of-time-rdr2-fanfic-chapter-6-13
Chapter 6 (2/3) - Something acceptable
Words: 3,3k
Javier watched her carefully: her face had acquired an unusual glow and her eyes were sparkling with childish enthusiasm. He wasn’t sure she was understanding how hard and dangerous it was. Planning a robbery was no game, but at the same time her presence there was a great impulse for him, and he couldn’t understand why.
“Let’s say we get rid of the sheriff, do you think you can hold off the doctor and all the men behind that door?” she asked.
“If I take the doctor as hostage, yes, I reckon killing three or four men won’t be a problem.”
“Killing?”
Their eyes met and it was at that moment that Javier had the certainty that she had no idea of what they were going towards. Did she really think that was some kind of game?
“How do you expect me to hold off all the men inside there without killing them?” he asked.
“I don’t know but please don’t kill them” she complained.
“What if they shoot first?”
“Well… in that case you can… defend yourself, I think. But not the doctor, please. He’s innocent of all of this. I mean, he has an illegal activity, but he’s still a doctor, he helps people.”
“What if he recognizes me and gives my identity to the sheriff?”
She seemed to think deeply about it, then, just like she had received the enlightenment she looked at him and said: “do you really think he’s going to the sheriff and tell him somebody robbed his illegal business?”
He had to admit it made perfect sense. Javier took a deep sigh looking straight at her and her big sweet eyes before he gave in. Yes, the man was a healer, an important figure for the town, that was the only reason why he wasn’t going to kill him.
“So, for the sheriff, I might have an idea” she said in the end.
...
The plan was established, they all knew what they had to do, now the problem was put it into practice. Emily was proud of her ideas, years and years of thriller movies and crime novels had taught her how to plan a robbery, how to create a diversion, and most of all that you must always have a plan B.
Even though she kept saying to herself that steal to other criminals wasn’t a real crime, she knew in her heart that it was an excuse, and she couldn’t get out of her head the idea that what they were doing was wrong. But at the same time the thought of a crime, of doing something that shouldn’t be done, excited her like a child at the sight of a playground, and she was both ashamed and afraid of that feeling. Was she turning into a criminal? One of those people who like doing bad things?
She leant her back against the wood of the building, right next to the door of the saloon, and waited patiently for Bill to come.
It was too late now for a rethinking: here goes nothing.
They had chosen Bill for the part of the drunk surly brawler, the perfect man according to Javier. He would put on a fight at the saloon and Emily was the one responsible of calling the attention of the sheriff to said fight, while Javier had to collect the money.
The second saloon of Valentine wasn’t as big as the Smithfield, but Emily had sweared she wasn’t going to put another foot inside that terrible place. Besides, that one had also fewer customers, but definitely drunker, which was perfect for Bill to start a brawl without making too much an effort.
He showed up from the end of the street, sitting astride on his huge brown horse that he stopped at the post. He slowly got down and adjusted his pants with an overdramatic attitude before he tied the animal and with a heavy and swinging walk he reached the porch.
“Miss” he said touching the brim of his hat.
Emily nodded to him just like they didn’t know each other. That was part of the plan. He got inside and asked for a whiskey with an unnecessary loud voice. She shook her head deploring the man’s acting skills, but it turned out his fake high tone helped their cause because someone complained about him and after an exchange of insults, Emily heard exactly what she needed: men punching each other.
Without wasting time she ran down the steps of the porch and on the muddy street to reach the sheriff’s office. With every step her boots dipped in the mud and in her mind she blessed whoever had invented the asphalt.
Javier looked at her as she reached the sheriff’s door and walked inside. He was standing right around the corner of the doctor’s building, checking the door for unusual movements or patients. No-one. That day the apothecary had no customers, which was perfect. If everybody had done their part well, and if Bill hadn’t caused any trouble, that job was going to be a success.
“Sheriff, I need your help, there’s a fight at the saloon” said Emily walking inside the poorly lit room.
There, there were two men dressed more or less in the same way and she had no idea who of them was the sheriff, so after she said the words she moved her eyes from one to the other hoping they wouldn’t notice her ignorance about sheriffs.
“Again? This town is a nightmare” said the man seated behind the desk, “which one?”
“Keane’s” Emily answered readily.
“George, go check it” he ordered to the other man.
Emily needed two seconds to understand what was happening: the sheriff was sending the deputy, that way he didn’t have to lift his ass from the chair, which was exactly what she wanted him to do.
“No” she exclaimed making both of them look at her.
“They have guns, sheriff, and they seem determined to use them. I think it’s better if you go check personally” she lied.
He brought a hand to his face to rub his eyes and took a deep breath before standing up.
“Okay, let’s go.”
As soon as she walked out, followed by the two men, Javier turned the corner of the building, gave a look around making sure no-one was watching him and raised his bandana on his face. With that and the large hat he hoped not to be identified by the doctor.
“Don’t do anything stupid, friend. I just want to take a look at the room on the back” he said raising his handgun to the doctor’s chest.
“Sir, please, you don’t want to get involved with them, I-I promise you.”
“Let me choose who I want to get involved with. Now open the door.”
“Okay… okay.”
Emily turned her head for a second and glanced at the apothecary wondering how Javier was doing. In her heart she hoped he wouldn’t hurt anyone. Her friend, her kind Mexican friend, who kills someone in cold blood. The idea was extremely troubling for her.
“How many men are we talking about, Miss?” asked the deputy.
“Erm, two or three. They seemed quite dangerous.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of them.”
“No doubt.”
Javier followed the doctor until they reached the heavy iron door. He laid his back on the wall right next to it and with his gun still pointed at the man’s chest he made a brief nod of his head. The doctor knocked.
“Hey, i-it’s me. I-I’ve brought you fellers some food and whiskey” he said.
Javier heard the little window opening and flattened even more against the wall not to be seen.
“Yeah, it’s only the doc” said someone from the other side and then the sound of steel against steel made him understand it was his moment.
He grabbed the man from behind, pointing the gun to his head and pushed him inside the room among the confused expressions of four people.
When they reached the saloon, Emily let the sheriff and the deputy walk inside and deal with Bill and the other two drunkards, while she stopped on the porch waiting to see Javier in the distance telling her he was done.
“Hey, stop! Stop it right now! What are you doing?” she heard the sheriff shouting.
“This little piece of shit here was insulting me, I just came for a drink!” replied Bill.
“You couldn’t keep your mouth shut, you big asshole!”
Another struggle started just in time when Emily heard a series of shots, one after the other, in the distance, and she imagined them coming from the doctor’s office. She moved her eyes from the men inside the saloon to the road, but thanks to the noise they were making, the sheriff and his deputy hadn’t heard the gunfire. She couldn’t tell the same about the people out in the street, who started looking around them suspiciously.
Without wasting any more time, conscious that someone had heard the noise of his gun, Javier let the doctor go and started collecting all the money from the table at the centre of the room. Then, he looked inside the safety boxes, the crates, under the mattress, all under the shocked look of the doctor who hadn’t moved from where Javier had left him.
“You won’t say a thing, right?” he asked menacingly.
“Oh, n-no sir. Y-you’ve liberated me. T-they were awful, they were forcing me to do this.”
“Good, happy to help.”
After he took the last wad of cash, he walked to the back door, opened it and went outside.
“Okay, now go, and I don’t want to see your ugly faces ever again, is that clear! Or next time I’ll lock you all up for the rest of your pathetic lives!” said the sheriff kicking the three men out of the door.
Emily gave a last look down the road where Javier was waving at her before she turned around to smile at the sheriff and the deputy.
“Thank you, I was scared to death they could have killed each other” she said.
“Nothing to be scared about, Miss. These things always end with a couple of bruises and a broken nose, nothing more. Anyway, you better stay away from saloons, they’re not a place for a lady” replied the sheriff walking away.
Emily reached Bill, next to his horse, and whispered “done” before she walked down the road again to reach Javier who had left his horse behind the church. When she saw him in the distance, waiting for her with a cigarette between his lips, she couldn’t restrain her enthusiasm anymore and ran in his direction jumping around and radiating excitement.
“So, how much? How much?” she asked with a jiggling laugh.
“Shh quiet. I don’t know, I didn’t count them. Come on, let’s head back to camp.”
“How’s the doctor?”
“Still alive, but I can’t say the same about the four assholes in the room” he replied taking her form her waist and making her sit on the back of Boaz.
“Were they armed?” she asked with a little less enthusiasm.
“Yes, and they were forcing the doctor to run the illegal poker game. He was the victim of all of that” he answered mounting up.
...
Unexpectedly, her reaction to those people death wasn’t as terrible as she imagined it to be, but she still couldn’t believe Javier had done it: the man right in front of her, to whose waist she was grabbing not to fall from the horse, had just killed four people. She was both intrigued and scared by him at that moment: what if he was one of those who enjoyed violence?
“How does it feel? When you kill someone?” she asked.
Javier didn’t answer immediately, he thought a little about it first. How did he feel when he killed a man? He felt nothing. He was aware that there were some people in the world who liked killing, who felt powerful by doing it, and other people who felt awful, but for him it was just a matter of survival. If the man who was facing him was a threat for his life, he had to kill him. Only once he had allowed his emotions to take over and he had paid the bitter price for that.
“It’s not the act of killing itself that makes you feel something, but the reason why you’re doing it” he explained.
“There is no valid reason for killing someone” she stated.
“Oh no, every reason is good for killing someone, you just have to decide if that reason is good enough for you.”
“If you put it that way, everyone could kill anybody in the world.”
“And isn’t it exactly what happens?”
“I disagree. What you do is acting like God, you have no right to do that.”
“But if I hadn’t killed those men, now we wouldn’t have the money to buy supplies for the camp.”
Emily huffed. It was impossible to argue with him, it was a tricky matter and he was both wrong and right, but what he had said made her think about something else.
“What about Dutch on that ferry? What good reason did he have to kill that girl?”
“He… we were up against the wall, our lives were in danger.”
“And killing a girl solved everything?”
“No y-you… you wasn’t there, you can’t understand.”
“Whatever you say won’t change my mind. Killing is wrong. Always.” Javier couldn’t understand: she kept saying that killing was wrong, but he had just killed four people to put some food in her belly, how could that be wrong?
When they reached camp they found Bill dismounting his horse. They parted the money in three exact parts and Emily found out she had gained twenty-five dollars and forty-five cents. Finally she had her own money and with it a part of her freedom, but to gain that freedom she had had to sentence to death someone else.
Javier had said they weren’t good people, that they were coercing the doctor to give them the room for their affairs and obliging him to keep his mouth shut, and this, added to the fact that they needed that money for the supplies, made her feel a little less sorry for their death. Maybe what they had done wasn’t good, but at least acceptable.
“Remember to put some in the box” said Javier before he walked away and he didn’t had to repeat it twice.
Emily walked to Dutch’s tent where she found Miss O’Shea writing something on a paper.
“Hi Molly” she said and walked all around the tent to reach the barrel with the box.
“Hi, how are you?” Molly asked politely.
“Actually, I’m pretty good. Look at this!” she exclaimed showing her the money.
“We’ve robbed an illegal poker game.”
“Good, so now we can make this place better.”
“What do you mean? Make it better?”
“Yes, we use the money in the box for supplies and camp improvements. Look” she said standing up and reaching her side.
“If you go to this page, you can see what everybody thinks it should be done to make this dump a little more livable. And here you have to write your name and what you are leaving in the box.”
Emily was amazed from how they had thought about everything. On the page of the improvements there were all kind of requests: from chickens, which surely belonged to Pearson, to pelts and covers to make the sleeping spots more comfortable, and there even was a joker named Mac who had written “a castle”, and right after another one named Davey - one of those who had died in the mountains, Emily remembered that - who had written “a brain for my brother”.
Emily laughed at those puns and then wrote her name on the donation page leaving on the box the spare five dollars and forty-five cents she had.
“Alright, thank you, Molly. Sorry if I interrupted you. What were you writing by the way?”
“Oh, nothing, just a stupid poem” she replied.
“A poem? Can I read it?”
“It’s not finished.”
“I don’t mind. Can I?”
...
Molly nodded and let Emily inside her tent, making her sign to sit on the cot by her side before she handed her the poem. She looked at her shyly as the girl ran her eyes on the piece of paper and when she ended her heart gave a slight jump.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“It’s great. Is this how it happened? With Dutch?”
“How do you know that’s Dutch?” she inquired.
“It’s obvious. So you came here, met him and fell in love with him, but now you feel like you gave him all you could give, and this makes you empty somehow, and this emptiness makes you feel worthless too.”
Molly kept looking at her with her mouth half open: how could she understand all of that from the poem?
“How… how can you…”
“Can I tell you something? Don’t beat yourself up. Your worth doesn’t lie with him, your worth doesn’t lie with anyone but yourself.”
How? How could that girl so young, so innocent, so naive read inside her mind?
“You don’t… you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re young, you’re just a child.”
“Yes, you’re probably right. But I’ve seen too many women in love with men who don’t deserve them not to recognize one.”
“You know nothing! He loves me and I love him! Go, get out of here!”
She stood up and looked at Emily with her eyes on fire. She had centered the problem and now Molly felt vulnerable, and this weakness made her angry.
“Yes, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” she said in a hurry and stood up in turn.
“But if you… if you want to talk, about anything, I’m here, okay?”
Molly didn’t answer, she kept looking at Emily with that furrowed brow that hid all her insecurities, and in the end Emily walked out of her tent and away from her.
#rdr2#Red Dead Redemption#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption fanfiction#arthur morgan#arthur morgan x female oc#Javier Escuella#Bill Williamson#molly o'shea
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List of All My Fics!
Every once in a while, I’ll update this list and share it. It is always available on my blog! (I’m up to 54 fics for multiple fandoms! 😱)
Find most, if not more, of these fics on:
Fanfiction.net | Archive of Our Own | Wattpad
(~AU’s, *Finished, ❤️Author’s Favorites)
Kingdom Hearts
~❤️Rage Awakened AO3 | FF.net- Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU
My Kingdom for a Heart AO3 | FF.Net - The curse of being one of the Princesses of heart, is that there’s always someone out to get you. As Xemnas looked failure in the face, he reached out in a last ditch effort and destroyed Kairi’s heart. Now her friends must travel the worlds again. Sora, to find a way to recover Kairi’s heart, and Riku, to make amends to those he has wronged. All the while, the darkness grows.
Miraculous Ladybug
One Shots
*❤️Amalgam- When an young man is rejected for being ‘incompatible’ he turns into the akuma ‘Amalgam’ able to fuse two people together. And later Adrien and Marinette would debate if it was lucky or unlucky that they got hit. (Also Available in Russian)
*Sing We All Noel- After receiving the worst Christmas present ever from his father, Chat Noir finds himself out on the streets with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Ladybug finds him and brings him home.
*Speechless- In a world where everyone has a soulmark, the first words their soulmate will say to them, Marinette is born without one. But Adrien Agreste has two. Curious, considering he’s mute.
*❤️Tunnels of Love- The night started out with an accidental kiss from Adrien Agreste, and ended with her bleeding in the Catacombs of Paris. Ladybug, the wielder of the miraculous of good luck. Yeah right. (Some blood)
*The Reveal That Wasn’t- First Parts My ending to kittybug’s Tumblr Prompt
*What A Mess We’re In- Ladybug has a lot on her mind, and when Chat Noir bugs her enough, she tells him she’s going to confess to her Crush, Adrien Agreste. Chat’s reaction is not what she’s expecting.
*Oblivi-oh no! - A retelling of Oblivio, except Ladybug is the only one to lose her memory. How will Chat deal?
*Bad Day (3 chapters) - Marinette was Ladybug! This was Adrien’s luckiest day ever! Except it wasn’t, because all his good luck was used up in one go. Turns out this might be the worst day of his life.
*One Win, So Many Losses- Marinette was forced to break up with Adrien. It had been a low blow from Gabriel, to be sure. But she was Ladybug. She’d find a solution…right? An alternate ending to Chat Blanc, where Adrien doesn’t Cataclysm the akuma.
*Five Minutes- Gabriel has had enough of all these girls fighting over Adrien. He decides it’s high time Adrien picks one, and arranges the perfect opportunity for him to do so. Each candidate has five minutes to present why they’d be a good girlfriend. Marinette decides to take this opportunity to shoot her shot.
~*Panache- Every eligible maiden was invited to the Prince's ball. That included Marinette, scullery maid in her own household. But her stepsisters destroyed her dress, and she can't go to the ball in rags. Or can she? (Cinderella!AU)
*Perfect, No Matter What-In which Gabriel sets the bar even lower for himself, a reveal happens because of pain medication, and the new guardian actually goes to Chloé for advice.
Long Fics
*❤️Longest Night- (FF.net | Ao3) - The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge. But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug’s identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns. Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ. (Rated M for scenes of torture)
*❤️Nine Lives- (FF.net) When Adrien Agreste is scheduled to go to a Military School in Germany, Chat Noir must make a critical decision. Does he give up his Miraculous? Or does he give up his life as Adrien? I’ll save you the trouble of guessing, he gives up being Adrien.
*Tender Words- When Marinette finally gets the guts to confess her feelings for Adrien, some things go so wrong, and other things go so right.
*Integrity- Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.
~Much Obliged- Everyone deals with grief differently. Some take to drinking, others devote themselves to charity. Adrien Agreste? Well, he became a cowboy. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a witch, one of very few in the world. She knows what it's like to be doubted, and assumed delusional. Maybe that's why they got along so well. Or maybe it's just because they both like big hats. AU where everything is the same, except instead of superheroes, Adrien is a Cowboy and Marinette is a witch. (Unfinished) (Based on a AU by @bugaboo-n-bananoir)
I'll Handle This- “I’ll solve all your problems,” Plagg had said. “You just have to agree to it.” A fixed relationship with his father, Lila to stop bothering him, and Ladybug to fall in love with him? Who wouldn’t agree to that? Except Plagg was the God of Destruction and Chaos and had a more…hands-on approach. Adrien just wants his body back. (Body swap fic)
How To Train Your Dragon
One Shots
The Vikings Have Their Tea (FF.Net | AO3)
Arranged Marriage- Takes place at the beginning of HTTYD
❤️Breathe- Survival of the fittest
~Childhood Friends- At the Sandbox
❤️Easy Fix- In which Hiccup has a bad day
~Fashion Designer- Astrid needs a fill in
❤️Frozen- In Which Astrid takes a Dip and things get frisky (Rated M)
❤️Headache- In Which Hiccup hits his head….really hard
❤️Heir- In Which Hiccup is Picked (Longer version by FateCharms)
Illness- In Which Stoick is a dad
~Illusionist- Trick gone wrong
~In the Walls- In which there’s a poop ghost
~Knocking On The Wrong Door (2) - A chance encounter
❤️Messages- Astrid is Frustrated with Hiccup’s obliviousness
~To Mirkwood- Hiccup is not a dwarf
~Monster Falls- Hiccup and Astrid take a dip
❤️Mute- In which there’s a quiet stranger
~Music Video (ImgHS)- He didn’t expect it
❤️Operation: Lovebirds- In Which the gang makes a plan, and Hiccup gets Drunk
~Over- Too many nightmares
~Partners in Crime- A normal day at work
~Pirate- Astrid is the greatest treasure
~Prince- He doesn’t want to be a broken King
❤️Sorting Things Out- In Which Astrid gets her ducks in a row
~The Dragon and The Dame- Beauty and the Beast Au
The Pit- In Which Hiccup is rescued
Hide and Seek- Part 1
Lost and Found- Part 2
Long fics:
*❤️Infernal Responsibility- Being the son of the chief takes brains, courage, and a lot of patience. But at his father’s the request for marriage, Hiccup decides he has had enough. When he seeks out a life of ease, he runs into more than what he bargained for.
*❤️Roses and Lilies- “Astrid, you and I both know you’re much tougher than I am. You’re more brave, and a better fighter…but just for a little while…could we pretend that I’m the one protecting you?” “Oh gods yes!” (Also Available in Spanish!)
*~What the Water Gave Me- The sea is a wild and dangerous thing, something that cannot be foretold or predicted. Hiccup discovered this many years ago, in human naiveté. Yet, what was meant as a sacrifice became a new life, one like no one could comprehend. He now finds himself once more in the unknowing hands of those that sentenced him to death. He only prays things will be different this time. Merman!AU
*Parasite- Soulsnatcher Dragons are rare but deadly. But, As Hiccup finds out, it’s the eggs you have to watch out for.
*~320 State Street- Gobber’s Goods. A Hardware Store that was rumored to have everything you needed. She thought she only needed a job. Turns out, she needed a lot more than that. (A Modern AU no one asked for)
*~❤️The North Tower- When Finn Hofferson died, Astrid inherited his castle in Wales…and a whole lot more. Something sinister lurks in the North Tower.
*~❤️Boy Toy- AO3 - At the age of 21, Princess Astrid lawfully has to pick a husband. But when the perfect groom is nowhere to be found, she requests the toymaker to create one for her. It’s safe to say that everyone in the kingdom is a little concerned. (Pinocchio!AU I guess?)
No, You Go First- AO3 - The Chief of Berk was a headstrong viking, stubborn and full of pride, and willing to do whatever it takes to keep his village safe. But for a moment, he puts that aside, and listens to his son. In which Hiccup convinces his dad not to make him go through Dragon Training, and the subsequent changes that follow.
*In Due Time- AO3 - As another illness sweeps through Berk, Gothi needs another ingredient for her medicine…one that doesn’t exist anymore. Fortunately, she kept that old spell book around for such an occasion. Big Hiccup is sent to five years into the past, and his younger self sent to take his place in the future. But it’s only a few days, what could go wrong?
Trollhunters: Tales from Arcadia
❤️Arcadia or Bust- In Which Arcadia welcomes back it’s underground citizens.
Teen Titans
Oneshots:
~Big Brother- Don’t turn out the light (Horror)
Dear Jason- Bruce Writes a letter
Just Drawing- Bruce thinks about Robin
The Prisoner- Starfire is Guilty
Of Mustard and Three Foot Purple Tongues- A collection of Oneshots and Drabbles
Long Fics (*Finished):
*~❤️Carol of the Bells- High in the dark Bell Tower of Notre Dame, there lives a mysterious bell ringer. Legend tells of the angel who fell from the sky, and the curse she bares. There are few who know her true identity though; her master, the priest, and the acrobat that performs on the streets below. Based loosely on ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ RobxStar and slight BBxRae
*No Escape- Three years ago, Starfire escaped an Alien race called the Gordanians, to arrive on Earth. They’re back, and ready to put Starfire back where she belongs, behind reinforced Titanium bars. Robin’s not about to let her go…if only he hadn’t got captured first. How does it feel to be the alien, Robin?
*Now you Know My Pain- When the new Villain, Gender Bender, comes to down, the Titans find themselves in an odd situation. They’ve been turned into the opposite gender against their will! Now in order to change back, they must learn to understand the gender they’ve turned into. Rated T for obvious reasons. A great read if you’ve ever wondered why girls or guys do [blank].
*Paint it Black- Robin disappeared three months ago. Now, Jump City’s crime rate is mysteriously being taken care of by a normal, albeit strange, teenage boy who goes by the name Black. As the Titans befriend this lunatic, they begin to see a relation between him and their missing leader. Will they be able to find Robin, or will Black turn them all insane as himself? Actually, contains NO OC.
*Saving Grace- “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk upright or speak coherent sentences and all you’ll see is my mask and my voice repeating in your head…Weak. Richard Grayson, I am not tough, I am everything that you fear.” Happy Ending! Smudge of RobStar. NO Slash!
Other Fandoms
Final Fantasy XV
❤️Requiem for Pitioss-“O King. The god’s have heard your cries. Know that we weep with you. The Oracle’s calling has not yet been fulfilled. But…Lunafreya as you know her cannot return the way she was.” Noctis looked up, hopeful. “But she can return!” Canon divergence from Chapter 9. Happy ending. Some spoilers.
Beauty and the Beast
*❤️Behold the Beast- A Oneshot alternate ending to the Animated Film
Cinderella
*❤️Midnight- “When the clock strikes twelve, the spell will be broken,” the fairy godmother had warned. A retelling of the story, when Cinderella doesn’t escape the ball in time. Oneshot
*So This is Love- What if Jaq and Gus hadn’t made it in time to help Cinderella? A new twist on the ending of the classic Fairytale, and what lies beyond the story. She still gets her happy ending and her Prince, and her step family gets their just deserts.
Sleeping Beauty
*❤️A Love Song Back To Me- Maleficent saw the loophole that stared her in the face. Prince Phillip would break the curse in time, for sure. After all, he was betrothed to Aurora. So in an effort for her evil plan to stay in action, Maleficent takes care of the young prince herself. Phillip never imagined having to live off the land like the birds above. Alternate twist on the classic Disney tale.
Escaflowne
Down Feathers- Hitomi’s depressed. She’s been away from Van too long, he comes back to visit her…but what if something went wrong with the transfer? (Not finished. Never will be finished. Mwahaha) Circa 2012
*Angel’s Wounds- Fanelia’s been victorious in their most recent battle with Basrum. Unfortunately, someone is wounded and just seeks solace in his love that lives so far away. Post Anime.
Momma Look Sharp- With the war between Fanelia and Basrum finally coming to a close, the kingdom is celebrating. The young king, however, is suffering from an experience unlike any he had before. Van finally seeks solace in his wife.
#kingdom hearts#miraculous ladybug#ml#kh#disney#httyd#how to train your dragon#Teen Titans#sleeping beauty#cinderella#escaflowne#trollhunters#toa#beauty and the beast#fanfiction
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It’s Just A Spark Ch.5 - Anything Could Happen
Yet again Hiccup found himself confronted with his wardrobe and concluded he had way too little things that were not baggy, out of wool or old loungewear.
He tried to negotiate; in the end, it was still summer and he owned maybe three button-down shirts that looked neat enough.
"Sometimes I don't know if I'm an adult or just faking it," he told Toothless who was lounging on his bed. "On our fifth date she'll see I've run out of options, realise I'm an actual idiot and then leave me. Not that we're together."
He sighed and plopped down next to the cat, who hissed indignantly at the disturbance.
"Sorry," Hiccup mumbled and idly ran his hands through the pitch black fur. "I think I want to, Toothless. Be with her. I don't know. I mean, it's not like I … have a lot of experience. I don't wanna mess this up. But I guess the second date is way too soon and I'm pretty sure she'd let me know when it's too late. Is it too early to ask? I mean, it's just a question, right? Just a harmless little 'Hey, what are we?' … right?"
Toothless blinked and started purring. Hiccup sighed.
"Glad we talked about this."
Toothless yawned.
oOo
His flat didn't really feel like home. It had always felt like something was missing.
But now, with Astrid standing in the middle of his hallway, it didn't seem that bad after all.
She'd been right on time and had beamed up at him, a bottle of wine in her hands. Hiccup was sure he had never opened his door to such a beautiful sight.
"Just, uh, put your shoes anywhere, it's fine," he quickly said and watched her place her shoes next to his.
Right. He'd forgotten his heart could beat this fast. He discovered his heart was able to beat even faster as she quickly wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him lightly. Hiccup's arms closed around her almost reflexively.
"It's good to see you," she murmured into his chest and let go as quickly as she'd hugged him, leaving a slightly dazed Hiccup who had to wait for his heart to continue beating for a second.
Astrid bit back a wide grin at the expression on his face.
"Likewise," he grinned, focused on her smile. "It's been a week since I last saw you - you didn't set your stove on fire."
She laughed. "I decided to stick to salads and frozen food. Safest decision I ever made."
Hiccup grinned and led her into the kitchen.
"To make up for all the deep-frozen stuff …" he pointed at the oven and grinned even wider as Astrid gasped and inhaled deeply.
"You really made lasagna!"
Hiccup couldn't help but laugh as she hit him lightly with excitement.
"I'll use those quickfire questions more often," he said and Astrid didn't know why but it sounded like a promise, excitement blossoming in her chest.
The kitchen was warm and smelled absolutely amazing. She wondered how long it had taken him to prepare this.
"It should be done in about ten minutes," he mumbled close to her ear, standing right behind her. It was then that Astrid really took notice of the close proximity they had been in the whole time. Quickly she took a step to the side and nodded when he offered, "Let's sit down?"
He led her into the living room. It was a small, cozy room with lots of nooks and crannies but was very sparsely decorated, as if he'd moved in only recently.
"Since when have you been living here?" Astrid asked curiously, looking around. Hiccup looked embarassed, rubbing the nape of his neck.
"Um … five years, give or take?"
Oh. Well. She shot him a quick smirk. "You're not really the decoration type, huh?"
He shrugged. "I would've, I just never found the time," he paused and then quickly added, "No, it just never felt home enough for me to really put effort into it."
Astrid furrowed her brows and turned to him fully this time.
"How come?"
He shrugged again. "I don't know. Maybe it's just living here in general. Or that I'm living alone with Toothless."
The young woman hummed.
"Or I'm just not home enough, too busy with work," he laughed now and Astrid couldn't help but think, No. You told me the truth the second time you tried to explain.
They both wordlessly agreed to drop the subject. Hiccup turned to say something to her but was interrupted by a black lightning bolt that made a dash for the sofa.
Astrid jumped - tripped over her own feet - crashed into Hiccup - together they fell onto the sofa.
Hiccup swallowed, his face inches away from Astrid's who had landed on top of him, one hand on his chest, the other right next to him on he sofa. The young woman stared at him, her bright blue eyes wide with shock. Her breath was hot on his skin.
Oh, god. He almost groaned at the sensation.
"Um …"
Astrid was mortified.
"I …"
"That … was Toothless," Hiccup got out then, his voice rasp and Astrid thought, 'how have you still not pushed me away?', her nose almost touching his. It would be so easy to just lean forward and-
The oven beeped.
Both of them jumped and immediately Astrid scrambled off of him, Hiccup following her suit.
'Right,' he thought through the mist in his head. 'Ten minutes.' And then, 'She almost kissed me.'
Astrid had almost run off into the kitchen, having to catch her breath for a moment and pretend that did not just happen.
'Oh, God,' she thought, slumping against the copboard. 'I almost kissed him.'
Astrid tried taking deep breaths to calm her soaring heart. If it hadn't been for that oven she really would have kissed him. Would he want her to? Would he kiss her back? Or just stay still, and then ask her to leave?
Hiccup returned, with the cat in his arms. His crooked, flustered smile almost made her forget to properly breathe in.
"May I introduce … the culprit. Also known as Toothless."
Astrid chuckled breathlessly and didn't fail to notice he seemed to be just as shaken and flustered as her.
Nevertheless she crouched down when Hiccup let the cat down again and offered her hand to the animal.
"Hi, buddy," she crooned softly and smiled when the cat bumped his head against her open palm. "Hi. Nice to meet you. You gave me quite the turn there, Toothless."
Toothless started purring as if agreeing with her and prowled around her legs, making her laugh.
"Okay, so your cat likes me," she declared brightly and smiled at him and felt a weight drop off her chest as he returned her smile just as freely.
"Makes two of us, then," he returned, almost making her forget the scene on the couch had even happened.
He quickly turned off the oven and took out the steaming lasagna.
"Alright, side or middle part?"
oOo
Hiccup was already halfway into his glass of wine when he remembered he didn't usually drink but also found he didn't really care. Maybe it was just her company, but he felt the urge to try something new. So he took another sip but kept it at a full glass
Astrid looked even more beautiful sitting at his table, he found. He couldn't help but think that nobody else should be sitting on that chair, bathed in warm, glowing light, really. Maybe that was the alcohol getting to him. How much wine before he'd be tipsy? Considering he never really drank - his heart rate was already through the roof at the sight of her - it had to be the alcohol. He wondered what would have happened if the oven hadn't beeped earlier.
She'd have kissed him. Maybe. Hopefully.
And he wasn't sure if he'd have held back much after that.
Again, this was the alcohol speaking.
Of course.
Hiccup ignored the fact that he had been thinking about kissing her for weeks now.
She was smiling at him.
"Sorry?"
"Thanks again," she repeated, still smiling - how was it that her smile was enough to warm him entirely? - and laid down her cutlery. "For the lasagna, I mean. I wouldn't even have gotten to completing the sauce. Also, my oven doesn't have an alarm," Astrid tried not to let her mind wander back to the previous moment in his living room (she failed miserably). "And I always forget to set an alarm elsewhere."
Hiccup chuckled. "Next time, just come over if you need a full meal."
How did he manage to make everything he said sound like a promise for a future?
"I'd love to," she heard herself say, not really surprised she was completely truthful.
oOo
They had already finished dinner and moved back onto the couch when Hiccup realised that this was the most home he'd ever felt in his own apartment.
Astrid had looked even more radiant in his kitchen, he'd found and looked as if no other than her should be sitting on the chair opposite to his, really.
Right now she was facing him, her head resting on her arm on the sofa, one leg comfortably tucked under her body.
"By the way, I didn't get to tell you any dark secrets last time."
Hiccup chuckled. "I'm all ears," and in demonstration inched closer and propped up his leg on a pillow, resting it at her side.
Astrid grinned and cleared her throat, mockingly serious. "Alright, let's see … all my friends saved my contact as Ass-strid,"
Toothless, who had been resting between them, jumped at Hiccup's sudden burst of laughter and stared at the young man accusingly.
"And you have my official permission to do that, too, if you like," she continued. "To make up for your nickname."
Hiccup tried to get it together. Really, he tried. But upon meeting her eyes, he burst into another fit of laughter, making her blush and lightly hit his arm.
"Come on, I didn't laugh that much at yours."
"You're right," he cleared his throat, trying to sober up. "Sorry."
Her sparkling eyes gave her away. "You're forgiven."
"Thank you."
"Also I own more fluffy socks than normal ones."
He blinked. "That's … soft."
"Hey, it's a problem. Especially in summer. Ever tried being sockless in high heels for a job you hate?"
His expression grew serious at that. "Which one?" he asked, entirely dropping the subject at hand and moving away from their teasing tone.
Astrid paused, defeated by his softened gaze and quietly admitted, "The waitressing. I'm … I'm at the Smith's every Tuesdays and Wednesdays and some Fridays when it's busy. I hate that place. Never liked bars in general, and even less like the people there, my boss is alright but almost never there 'cause he's busy getting drunk with the customers." The words just kept flowing over her lips - she felt completely safe telling him this, because it was Hiccup. Because his eyes were honest and his hands were gentle. Because he was patient. Because he was listenting, seriously because it was her talking.
"The other waiters don't really care, but that's the thing, they mostly don't even care about the JOB, they don't write things down, and it gets messy. The customers are a whole other story. Some are really nice, but that's maybe ten percent. The other ninety are jerks who wanna go to a bar and get some who think it's acceptable to grope the waitresses. They quickly learn that it's not. I almost got fired for punching instead of letting them."
Finally she stopped, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted off her chest.
"Then why haven't you quit yet?"
His voice was gentle.
She drew another breath.
"Because I need that job. I'm paying my rents and food with the pet shop money, and the rest I need for the books."
Hiccup furrowed his brows, leaning his head to the side, signalling her to explain.
"I … told you last week I had to postpone becoming a teacher."
He nodded.
"Well. I … I was living with my uncle at the time. And one day he gets up and tells me, he's moving. And that it's time for me to get a job. I had just finished university. He knew that I wanted to start going into teacher training. But he insisted, so I started searching for a job. Elsewhere. I didn't want to stay where I was, especially not after ... that talk with my uncle. So I found a good offer here, reasonable rent, safe location," she smiled slightly at the reference to the fire department. "And a job I could tolerate. So I moved. And he hasn't called since."
Silence engulfed them after she had finished. Astrid had been staring at a very interesting loose thread of his shirt the entire time she had talked. Now the shirt started moving and slowly, ever so gently, Hiccup took her hand in his.
"I'm sorry, Astrid," he whispered softly, searching her gaze. She bit her lip and looked up into honest forest-green eyes, only now registering the tears that had formed in her own and quickly went to wipe them away with her free hand.
"S-sorry," she whispered shakily, wishing she had never even started talking about it. Now she was crying, on a date, with a person she actually liked, and now he had to see her like this! Getting all sentimental over nothing -
Her thoughts were interrupted by calloused fingers that settled on her cheek and gently - how could he be so careful while having such rough hands? - wiped away the tears that had spilled over.
"Don't," he mumbled. "Don't apologise. Least of all to me. Don't apologise for having feelings."
His thumb was now almost absentmindedly stroking her cheek, her eyes wide. The movement stopped abruptly and he quickly lowered his hand again - she wouldn't complain if he continued - but still held her hand in his.
"Astrid, I ..." he broke off, as if searching for the right words. "I have asthma. And … whenever I had an asthma attack, I'd apologise and run off somewhere because I didn't want to bother anybody, 'cause it was my illness, right? It was my inaqequacy, like it was my fault for having it. I didn't want anybody else deal with it.
But one day I didn't have my inhalator with me. And I'd have suffocated if I hadn't told Gobber, who knew which inhalator I was using and got one for me. What I'm trying to say is," he was smiling softly now. "Don't be me. Don't almost die just because you feel like this is only your burden to carry. Even if this was a pretty weird metaphor, I admit."
And Astrid looked at him and thought, 'I'll try if you stay.'
Out loud, she said, "Thank you. For … well."
Before Hiccup realised what was happening her small fist had hit his chest lightly.
"That's for making me talk about this."
"What-"
"And this," she quickly leant forward and gently pecked him on the cheek. "Is for … everything else."
Part of his heart was singing, 'She kissed me!', the other wondered what he had done to deserve her letting down her guard.
"I think we're almost even now," she husked out, smiling again, probably at his dumbfounded expression. "That's one dark secret on one dark secret."
Hiccup hummed and looked down at their still-joined hands. Then he returned her gaze and said, "Quickfire question." Astrid groaned playfully and chuckled, distractedly wondering just how his voice had managed to easily untie the knot in her chest.
"Alright, just ask."
"A dream except teaching?"
She hummed, running a hand along her braid. "That would probably be travelling, or flying. Like parachuting. Or sky diving."
"Where would you go?"
"Paris, maybe. Or Moscow. Or - oh, Istanbul! Or Hanoi. And I'd love to see the Northern Lights someday."
He chuckled. "Sounds good."
"Why, you finally planning a trip?"
"Maybe."
Astrid couldn't help but return his smile and shifted, curling into the crook of the sofa.
"Okay, my turn: relationship with your parents?"
Hiccup hummed and ran a hand through his hair. "I grew up with my dad, never met my mum, but I had Gobber as adoptive dad, slash uncle, slash godfather, slash trainer, slash the guy whose sofa I crashed on when I had a fight with my dad."
"I'm sorry about your mum," she whispered, already regretting her question. He shrugged.
"I never really got to experience what it's like having one. I mean … it feels weird, 'cause growing up the other kids had a mother and they fought and complained about it, and I just thought, I never got to choose. I never got to fight with her. But Dad sort of made up for that. We used to have what could best be explained as a, say, rocky relationship. He didn't listen and I rarely tried to talk. But we grew out of that. We meet every Wednesday for lunch, so I guess that's a habit."
He grinned at her and quickly, before she could ask him another question, asked, "A thing teenage-Astrid wanted?"
She laughed. "A punching bag."
"A thing now-Astrid wants?"
A pause. "A punching bag," she repeated and laughed, feeling all too light sitting in front of him on his sofa.
He chuckled. "Solid."
"Honestly, you just ruined my punch line."
"Yeah, well, maybe next time you do that, you should hit me up."
Astrid scrunched her nose at him, causing him to grin brightly.
"By the way, I have ice cream," he piped up, a joyous feeling bubbling up in his chest at her excitement.
"What now, you have me on your sofa for an hour before you decide to supply me with information like that?"
He laughed and got up, pulling her with him.
"I needed to make sure you stayed before I gave you all the good stuff."
Her laughter echoed through the hallway and Hiccup was sure he'd never hear a better sound than that.
'I stand corrected,' he thought five minutes later and hid his blush behind his bowl of ice cream as he watched Astrid take another spoonful of ice cream and MOAN.
"Where'd you get this?" he heard her ask through the mist in his head. "I've been searching for good ice cream for ages and here I am, in your living room, with stuff that doesn't taste like it was made out of cardboard."
"Uh, one of my friends has a little café a couple of blocks from here and it's on my nightly route, so I picked some off yesterday."
Her eyes lit up and she shuffled closer.
"Let's go there sometime! That ice cream is to die for, plus," she pointed her spoon at him. "I get to meet one of your friends."
He couldn't help but laugh at her. She looked endearing, as excited as she was, even with ice cream on her nose.
"Don't move."
Her expression was priceless as he scooted closer to her, reached out and gently wiped the dollop of ice cream off her freckled nose. Without thinking (which was rare for him but had grown into something like a bad habit he only seemed to have in her company), Hiccup licked it off his finger - then realised what he'd done and almost precicely blushed to the same colour as the strawberry ice in front of him.
"Sorry," he blurted out. "I wasn't really- um. Thinking."
To his surprise (and confusion) Astrid started laughing so hard she almost doubled over.
"Okay, what's so funny? I'm making an idiot out of myself, and you …" he hesitated, searching for words, shrugging helplessly.
Astrid had sobered up now but was still grinning, her eyes sparkling.
"Yes, but the fact that you did it isn't really the thing - okay, it kind of is, your face was pretty funny," she explained and flitted her eyes shortly over his body. "But it's also you doing something sexy and not realising. And if you do realise you're backing away immediately." Her eyes were fixing his own now. "For some reason."
He swallowed and still looked at her, completely incredulous.
"What … about me is sexy?" he asked, partly in utter disbelief that Astrid was the one calling him sexy and not the other way round. Another part of him was desperate to know so he could do them more often - again, the alcohol speaking, of course.
Astrid chuckled, seemingly surprised at his utter lack of understanding and set her ice cream aside.
"Okay, so there's … running your hands through your hair, for one." She waved at the auburn mess on his head, counting on her fingers. "Then there would be the fact that you're a fireman, which should speak for this all in itself-"
"How is an occupation-"
"First of all, the general facing-death-thing and you know, saving people and pets and all that. Then there's the helmet thing, which could be specific for you, but I'm not sure. You should see yourself when you're walking out of my kitchen and take off that helmet. Anyways. That's that about your job, then there's your reaction to meeting Tuff, which," she chuckled. "Was a bit mean, I admit. But you did look jealous - don't think I didn't notice!"
"You weren't supposed to," he said weakly and slumped his shoulders.
"Hey," Astrid's hand gently touched his shoulder and he looked back up at her. "Everything I just said were positive things. Some of which may or may not drive me crazy."
She offered him a smile that made his heart skip a beat. Hiccup blinked. Astrid sighed, a small smile still playing on her lips.
"What I'm trying to say, Hiccup, is, that you have no reason to retreat anytime something like that happens. It's …" she paused, searching for the right word and offered him multiple ones. "Good. Endearing. Incredibly attractive. And a bit funny."
"Okay," he huffed out a laugh, finally relaxing. "Good."
"And I'm not just saying that because you lifted the ice cream mystery."
There. A grin blossomed on his face and Astrid had succeeded. Her success became even more tangible as a pillow hit her gently.
"Come on, I know that." He paused and grinned. "It was also the lasagna."
She threw the pillow back at him.
He caught it, still smiling. Astrid leaned back onto her arm again, watching him intently.
"Quickfire question. Why become a fireman?"
"Why not?"
"A leg that you lost because of a fire and asthma." She grinned. "Considering these it sounds like you have a death wish."
He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "Well. I guess it is pretty stupid. But you know, never let that hold me back. I think … fire fascinates me, for one and I don't really know why. Then, of course, I thought, how can I help people? How can I be useful? I want to … change things, I want to improve things."
She hummed in understanding.
"You know what's funny? I had the exact same thought process, just that my mind ended up with teaching, and not with risking my life on a daily basis for the sake of it."
Hiccup laughed, bumping his prosthesis against her leg. "Children can be pretty dangerous. One minute one's crying because their goldfish died, the next second there's a fist fight on the yard and next period you have a class of hormonal teenagers who either just got into a relationship or freshly got out of one."
She rasied an eyebrow. "That's what I call good high school memories."
"That was a free outlook of your future," he retorted, grinning crookedly.
Astrid snorted and asked, "Alright, Mr Fortune Teller, any other outlooks you have to offer?" She trailed a finger across his collar bone to his chest, poking him there.
Hiccup tried to surpress the shudder at that sensation and replied, "Well. You could, of course, pursue your career. I do see a lot of happiness in this possible future, yes. Imagine: no more careless collegues, stupid costumers … just careless collegues and stupid children who-" she swatted at his chest, laughing when he gently grabbed her wrist and stilled her. "Okay, forget that one," he chuckled, his eyes soft. "Chase it. I see academical fulfillment."
"You do?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Alright. What else? Any … people who might influence me?" Her tone was light, teasing almost as she marvelled at the way Hiccup's eyes were glowing in the soft light of the living room. "Well," he had not let go of her wrist yet and now trailed his fingers towards himself so he could intertwine his fingers with hers."There MIGHT be a - I believe you called him an incredibly attractive young man, who, if you play your cards right-"
"Oh, shut up."
He laughed.
"Am I wrong?"
"You're pushing it, Haddock."
He smirked. "Back to last names, Hofferson?"
He took another light punch to the chest, his smile never faltering. Their faces were, for the second time this evening, only inches apart.
The air between them was prickling.
It was a moment.
Astrid pulled back.
Hiccup smiled at her and brushed a stray strand of hair back into her fringe.
"Quickfire question," he husked and Astrid grinned brightly. "If I asked you out on a third date, would you say yes?"
Her grin widened, her hands found his chest and pushed him back lightly.
"Only if you let me ask you out next time."
Their breaths mingled.
Next time.
#I'm gonna leave any italics etc out bc I can't be bothered with the editor#HTTYD#httyd 2#hiccstric#romance#fanfic#mine#IJAS#it's just a spark#chapter 5#toothless#modernAU#writing
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