#i also have GOT to get him a cat tree
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I'm scared of the pet store because I feel like they're gonna see thru me, I feel like an IMPOSTER pet parent. Like idk what im doing. I do like...research and make sure he's getting good food and shit but still idk I get scared they're gonna start recognizing me🧍🏼♂️I've been in there every weekend the past 3 weeks with the same ppl working so sjfjfhshdkgjakf entirely possible. But this is also part of my Coming Into Myself work. I'm like. Embarrassed to be Me at the pet store. I don't need to be
#got him his wet food!!#and litter cos I ordered a bigger litter box thats waiting at my parents now#my mom picked up a cheap one from walmart when i took him in on impulse and its kinda small#especially for my big boy#and he seems uncomfortable/anxious w it so i hope this helps..#i also have GOT to get him a cat tree#my apartment is tiny :-(#over time i hope i can get him more things to jump n climb on yk#god he's expensive. but idc i love him
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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Larchpaw
She/her, 8 moons, cis molly
#Larchpaw#beetleclan#apprentice#clangen#warrior cats oc#kiri’s clangen#warrior#kiri's clangen#Wow i wonder who this mini Berrymurk is. Surely it’s not his one and only daughter#surely him and his daughter don’t have nearly identical sprites save for Larch having a slightly yellower tint and an apprentice pose#But to be so forreal the name Larch is actually really fitting becuase of that becuase larch trees are a conifer that isn’t an evergreen.#their needles turn yellow and fall off in the fall which fits because she’s just a little more yellow than her dad#I also made the pointy parts of her fur point down instead of up like the rest of her family just to show she doesn’t look all that much-#-like her grandma Gravelshock#She’s technically half-clan and her other parent is unknown so I like to think her other parent had droopier fur (though I have no one in-#-particular planned)#Anyways she’s sort of friends/rivals with Swallowpaw (who I’m planning on having as the starting POV for beetleclan) so expect to see and-#-read a lot of her whenever I get to the actual story part#I actually love Larch a lot she’s very cute I’m tempted to do her POV at least sometimes#but Idk#Also I’M FUCKING BACK!!!#can’t say how regular posts will be considering the computer I use to add the border afterwords is Wigging The Fuck Out Constantly and I-#-can barely use it but I’ve got one more cat queued after this at least so there’s that!#I can’t wait to get to the actual story I’m gonna do it in fic form with some illustrations scattered throughout instead of a comic (unless#-I feel like a specific moons needs a comic)#and I think I’ll put in on my AO3 which’ll be fun so yeah. I’m excited to finally get through all these designs hopefully over this summer#and I’m done with hs now so I can continue working on it during this next year because I don’t plan on doing college immediately!! So yeah-#-I’ve got a lot of time on my hands now and I’m excited to get back to Projects!!#I’m thinking of doing commissions on my main too (including warriors/clangen designs) so look out for that if you’re interested
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Voltron cats……….drawn on magma
#voltron#shiro#hunk#Lance#pidge#Keith#I’m not putting every tag of them#voltron paladins#sockdooe’s art#I thought about them being cats for an hour and then tried to draw them#help#I think they would be so cute#allura is their caretaker aka owner#she just has all these cats#pidge is the favorite meaning she gets groomed the most by the other cats#so when allura picks her up she’s MOIST#she also gets the most baths out of everyone else despite hating them just because of how much she stinks from a their breaths#Lance will just play in the bathtub until allura gives him one#hunk is the sweetest and the best when it comes to cuteness agression#he is often used as a cry pillow#lance is too dam social for his own good#he loves people so much he almost got stolen#(by rolo and nyma but hunk distrusted them so much that he literally ran after them)#Shiro is the most respected and given the most cat gifts#Keith doesn’t like people at all and will hide in the cat tree#Keith and Lance have cat fights like all the time#Shiro doesn’t have his right arm(?) but he still uses it to ‘smack’ and it still works#(if you’ve seen the video I’m talking about you know exactly)#idk just silly little cats#oh and hunk is really distrustful of people to the point where there is a ‘hunk sniff test’ and if he hisses u will not be staying
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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decorating for Christmas by putting my warriors charms on the tree and tying a red bow onto my Hollyleaf mini lol. I think I'm doing it right
#i wish i had some very tiny santa hats to put on my minis#i love a bit of whimsy in my life#only hollyleaf gets a decoration because she's the one who lives in the living room instead of my bedroom#i put her out there when my brother got a new shelf for the livingroom and was decorating it and i was like i wanna contribute!!#and it was halloween time so naturally it had to be a black cat with a sinister expression!#i also put ravenpaw out there but i missed him so i took him back lol he's got the cutest mini#i also put other charms on the tree. i have a bunch and never really get a chance to display them so. perfect time!#I'm enjoying our nerd tree#pigeon mews
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Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat
My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten
Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread
But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing
Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby
When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.
The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"
So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag
And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend
Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad
So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did
And he still wasn't great, but he also improved
And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"
And my mother is a woman of science. So she did
And he GOT BETTER
His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion
And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage
Like. He medically NEEDS junk food
I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.
If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE
Also blind, but that's unrelated
Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat
#I'm sorry#I feel like this is supposed to be some kind of message from the universe#Like maybe I'm the cat and the garbage food is. Something#But nope he just lives in my head rent free#The biggest fucking boy
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Hey chat should I hunt another litten on my bday to get a shiny destiny mark torracat
#on one hand. i already have a shiny torracat. but on the other hand. it would be fun to have my favorite pokemon shiny w destiny mark#on a third hand. feels weird to go for destiny mark on a torracat cause if any torracat were to be called the chosen one it should be my ma#foofs but. he obvs cant get it on account of being from sun and also not being met on my birthday. which i mean hes got the best friend#ribbon as his title rn and great friend suits him well. might switch it up to partner mark at some point tho cause hes literally my partner#these tags have turned into rambling about my boys titles helppp he has the footprint ribbon and one of the battle tree ribbons too#and alola champ ribbon obviously. obviously. man i gotta get back in scarlet typing this is making me miss him#ive been in sword for so long.... doin a lot of relicanths. switched to masuda for it cause i found out number battled only affects the aur#pokemon i forget what the auras called. brilliant aura? idk. anyway shoutout to the 42 hours on that hunt ill never get back#i miss my fictional cat chat i miss him a lot (i can switch games to see him or transfer him into sword at any time)#i gotta get back on the lifesized torracat plush project. gotta make foofs real. ok thats enough rambling 👍 send tweet#zoracontent
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You want a real rush?
Be sitting on the throne dropping a deuce and hear a fucking angry 180 lb bull mastiff attacking a puppy that weighs less than 20 pounds
Underwear draped around my ankles I get up and hop twice to get out of the bathroom, standing I and jumping a three foot dog gate into the kitchen, quick hops across the kitchen; another jump over a wooden dog gate and two hops to tackle a 180 lb dog and clamp that mother fucker in a head lock with one leg trapped keeping my head so tight against his lower neck I was clear of his angry fat head and mouth(this was a very large mother fucking dog) and pulled the behemoth off the puppy while putting my hand out to keep the puppy away from the mouth.
And then I am sitting there with my dick hanging out, an ass in need of wiping, my underwear at this point twisted around my ankles and a huge angry dog in my clutches.
I am like, "KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF MOTHER FUCKER OR I WILL KILL YOU"
And my large dog returned to a normal state of temperament. I was able to finish taking a shit with an adrenaline dump.
Oh and I did get to wipe my ass eventually.
#perhaps a cast I don't remember#did I save the puppy's life perhaps but there was no thought it was all action#it's funny looking back seeing it yanno but that shit was fucking insane when it happened#like old fathead having dreams of Merlin beating his ass when he was a pup#not biting or attacking him#but it was funny as shit watching a 40 pound dog roll an idiotic 120 pound dufus#like something set that dog off that day#it is a shame those things only get about 5 maybe 6 good years before their size is their own downfall#just feed him sedatives was their solution*shrugs*#all the hounds of hell will obey me when the time calls#I put a bit of myself in my dogs#always gotta get a new puppy as soon as the other leaves like people are like cats are ao smart#shit dogs got people too#it is more of an empathy thing a different intelligence#cats are just clever little assholes#wow it cam jump up on something and bat shit#it is also stupid to go hide in an inescapable palm tree#like outdoor cats are fine unless one jumps in your arms and won't let the fuck go#kneading my shit#meeooolow#like ok you don't even know me cat#me considering the shapes of 11 amd 13 though yanno#if something makes Cannon happy she is gonna be like yo what's going on here#in a garden under the lord of Spirit who knows#sneaking that shit in when he was a baby#Oh all the men in this family have that....so.... like...hehe
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just to add:
Using Poe rather than any other Dark Romantic writer that was his contemporary to pull a quote from was such a good choice. Of his sotries, "The Tell-Tale Heart" was the perfect one for Astarion, but Poe very specifically believed stories should be written in a circular manner - like a snake biting its tail - which fits so perfectly with all the little ways Astarion's story and romance references itself.
Direct quote from my source:
Poe believed in “fashioning a tale like a kind of ouroboros, with its tail in its mouth, beginning with the final effect and working backwards to that the story’s beginning is a natural derivation of its conclusion.”
It's the setting up of the Romantic Astarion in act 1, finding out he's not as fine as he keeps insisting as the narrative swings into Dark Romantic territory, the paranoia starts to really come out (relating back to tell-tale heart), and then he is literally given a choice: continue the cycle or break free. The cycle of abuse is literally a circle here. He can take up Cazador's place in the ritual and step into his role entirely, reentering the ouroboros I mentioned earlier.
The "Thank you" when he first bites the player being referenced later when they see past his paranoia and how unreliable of a narrator he is about his own feelings and seeing that he doesn't want power. He wants safety in a world that he believes isn't capable of kindness or good.
I love how Astarion quotes The Tell-Tale Heart every once in a while. It's a rarer line, and initially I thought it was out of place (Neil is very well versed in theater, so I assumed it was a riff from him), but since reading an analysis of the work I think it was pretty purposeful.
The piece is all about fear and paranoia, things we know Astarion is plagued by despite how he might act. Similarly, the narrator of the story also tries to convince the reader that they are not as troubled as they seem. In the end, the narrator is consumed by the beating of the heart of the old man he killed and dismembered, the sound growing louder and louder until in a fit of rage he reveals the body to the police to absolve himself from the persistent beating.
Except the police never heard the heart beat, because it wasn't the old man's heart at all. The narrator was consumed by the sound of his own heart beating more and more rapidly in his chest from fear. He was the owner of the thing that forced him to reveal his true nature, he is the owner of the tell-tale heart.
And what happens with Astarion after you romance him? He realizes over time that, while he tried to deny his feelings and was initially only interested in manipulating you for his own means, he actually has grown to care for you. You have done something to his heart that hasn't happened in centuries, you have made it feel as if it has started beating again.
Therefore, his tell-tale heart leads him to admit his transgressions, which were committed out of fear and paranoia for his safety.
So the line is actually very, very apt. His confession during Act 2 is his own version of "Villains! Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!" Except, of course, it is his own heart that he is unearthing for us (and it's not so hideous, after all).
#this got my brain churning as someone who studied Poe's writing techniques and stuff#i did an intense study of his writing style back when i was in college lol#i'm so sorry if this derailed a bit#i was gonna make my own post but this was the one that got me thinking so#here i am#i literally saw this at like 6:50 am so my thoughts aren't as full as i'd like#but i wanted to add this bc i've been thinking about it a lot for the reasons i stated above lol#my writing style is very heavily influenced by poe due to how much i've researched him for analytical papers & for mimicking his style#i also think some of his more difficult writing may come back to like#he feels like a poe pastiche thrown into a video game#and all his difficult convo trees where you get no information?#astarion is an unreliable narrator of his own story#he doesn't WANT the truth out there#they also very well could have chosen like#the black cat or one of his poems#but tell-tale heart very specifically has to do with the paranoia that causes you to hurt people who never hurt you#the only thing the old man did was stare with that vulture eye#i also have Thoughts about how Astarion's story is a Dark Romantic Gothic Horror#but one that ends on a good note OR can end with him back in the cycle of abuse#and his good end rejects the pessimism that comes with dark romanticism#while also seeing the world not as perfectly good#but finding hope that in spite of the bad parts of life#the good outweigh the bad and make it worth lowering your defenses and truly living#or else be trapped by paranoia and fear for eternity#he has other things that are repeated in ways i don't see the same like#thread of connection through in other companion romances#for example if you ascend him he uses the “i love you�� line#same tone as when he used it before while trying to convince LI to sleep with him a second night#and the fact that the cycle he's in now is just a reflection of what cazador and vellioth did#the family abuse cycle that traps and destroys
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Danny commits to the Bit a bit too hard...
So! For the first few weeks after his accident, whenever Danny would try to help the people of Amity Park, he would be treated as a Villain.
No matter if he had just defeated the Big Bad of the Week or saved a Cat from a tree, everybody in town only saw him as a Monster or Villain to he feared and hunted down. Danny was really getting sick of trying to get them on his side, until Sam made a suggestion.
"Why not just...play into it?" She said, barely looking up from painting her nails.
It was just an offhand suggestion, but it stuck with Danny. Why shouldn't he lean into it? The people of Amity Park already saw Ghosts as Evil, and they already assumed he was in cahoots with the Ghosts attacking the town. Why shouldn't he just...play into it?
So he does just that.
From that day on, whenever Phantom was spotted he would dramatically monologue about his Evil Plans, or claim that another Rogues attack on the City was his own act of terror.
Box Ghost destroys the towns Warehouses? It was on his orders.
Ember mind controls masses of Teenagers? All part of his Plans somehow.
Every Adult in Town is kidnapped by Young Blood? Danny gave them over to a friend as a Gift.
He crafts an identity for himself as the most Vile and Horrible Ghost that has ever attacked the City, using his own infamy to cement his legend even more firmly. The town only sees a Monsterous Villain, who has eveded capture near effortlessly for months on end, who constantly attacks their City and gets away with it.
Of course he still needs an excuse for how his plans keep getting stopped, and he gets it when his girlfriend Valerie becomes the Red Huntress. Before that, he just claimed infighting or the Fentons getting lucky, but Valerie becoming the Town's Hero meant he had a plausible excuse for how he kept getting "Foiled".
Val was suspicious, because she was not as involved as Phantom painted her to be, but in the end she had no proof of him faking his defeats. And she couldn't come up with any explanations for why he would do that in the first place. I mean, who would fake being a Supervillain? It had to he something else.
This did come back to bite him a while later, when the Justice League decided that enough was enough, and dispatched Justice League Dark to recruit Red Huntress and help Deal with him.
Coincidentally, that was the same day Pariah Dark attacked the Mortal Realm and sucked Amity Park into the Ghost Zone.
And honestly? Danny had spent over a Year proclaiming himself as a Villain who commanded Ghosts to attack the Human Realm, and he had heard about the Right of Conquest being Absolute in the Ghost Zone, so why not make it official? Why not overthrow the Ghost King, become the Ghost King, and cement his identity as a Villain while also forbidding Ghosts from entering the Human Realm without his permission?
He may have gotten a bit carried away and forgotten that the Villain thing was a disguise...but hey! He was still preventing Ghost Attacks! ...mostly. That's got to count for something right?
He may have let the Bit run a bit too far...
...
Check the tags for more context!
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is a Villain#Or he pretends to be a Villain#It started out as a Persona so he didn't have to keep justifying his existence to civilians and then spiraled out of control#He got a little too committed to the Bit#Danny claims that all Ghost Attacks are on his orders as a convenient excuse for being at the scene of every attack#He befriends a few of his Rogues and actually does command them sometimes to keep up the charade#They can indulge in their Obsessions from time to time and the Kid gets to keep up his weird Villain Act that he likes to do#It's a win-win#I wonder if Danny would try to recruit Vlad?#Or would Vlad fully buy into the Villain Persona and try to join Danny's team only for Danny to REPEATEDLY reject him?#“Why won't my incredible Villain Godson accept me?! And I not enough of a Villain for him?!” He cries to himself sometimes#Danny is the Ghost King#He just decided to overthrow Pariah when he attacked to cement his Villain Persona#And completely forgot that it was supposed to be a Persona for a minute there#JLD and Red Huntress are working overtime to defeat him#He is now the Next Big Threat™️ and doesn't even realize it#Sam and Tucker are just laughing theirs asses off at the mess he got himself into#Jazz is tired#And Val is wondering why her boyfriend is so awkward whenever she mentions Phantom
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I get very weirdly emotional when i see the cat using the new cat trees we got him. he loves them so much and it makes me happy bc the old one was a bit small (he still used it but not as much) but he loves the big one... he lays on the platform and sometimes even in the lil house, he sits like a fucking lunatic on the smaller one by the side window. He's got more animal enrichment and he fuckin' DESERVES IT!!!!!
#if we had room / a place to put it i'd want to get him a tree upstairs but. the windows aren't rlly in good spots#and the kids room has 2 bed bc there's 100 children (3)#But it's fine cuz he uses the bed in there are his room#basically#we're planning on getting his vaccines updated n' maybe a chip (we gotta talk to a vet near us) once we get a carrier that isnt cardboard b#he's fucking HUGE#but once he's got that shit done we want to harness train him. which is going to be a bit hard but i feel like once he realizes he can go#outside with it on WITH someone he might like it more#it's more the steps of getting it ON HIM#bc they never collar trained him...... bc they're lazy. i kinda want to but i'm less confident about a collar than i am with a harness for#some reason#i think it's bc harness = go outside so it's a future positive#he doesn't gget SHIT out of wearing a collar he doesn't know what fashion is#and also at least the harness would be a future positive where as a collar is just wear this thing#also related but unrelated to this situation i have kitten fever i want another cat so bad#but that's ONLY HAPPENING if the fucker is free and WE found them.#bc i dont need another kitten........................... but if it's freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?#fm#i can never not shut up in the tags
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prison for life - mv1
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where if anybody hurts you, Max is going to prison for life.
Pairing: max verstappen x pregnant!reader
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: fluff, pregnancy, mentions of throwing up, cursing, kinda angsty in some places, jos verstappen
Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i’ve been in such a max mood recently that is actually shocking to me, but i just needed some fluffy anything after working on smutty pieces for weeks. i got this idea in my dream and honestly i think it turned out better than i could’ve imagined!! feedback is always appreciated, and my requests are currently open if you want to check that out, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
If you would have to choose a word to describe Max, it would be ‘overprotective’, because that’s what he is. It’s not a bad thing, per say. He isn’t overbearing or controlling at all, but he is simply overprotective. And if you thought he was overprotective when the two of you were dating or when you first got married, you have to admit that you were not, at all, prepared for his protectiveness when you told him that you were pregnant. Apart from his initial meltdown over becoming a dad, or rather becoming like his own father, Max has been pretty chill about the whole thing – with the exception being your safety, of course. The underlying problem isn’t the fact that you’re some sort of daredevil because you’re not, the problem is the fact that Max believes that everything is out to get you.
The olives you wanted to eat for breakfast? Choking hazard.
The candles you bought for the living room (to be purely decorative, but still)? Fire hazard.
The pool lounger Victoria thought would be a cute addition to the pool? Drowning hazard.
The seatbelt in his car that is surprisingly tight? Could be all three, according to Max, given the right (or wrong) circumstances.
So, yeah, maybe he wasn’t that scared of becoming a dad, but he was surely scared of you being in danger. That’s why you agreed to stay back for the most races this year – you knew he didn’t need to worry about you or your baby’s safety on top of the stress he had to deal with during the usual racing weekend. That was until you realised how much you would miss your boyfriend after almost a month of not seeing him due to a triple header. And so, you did the thing any person with a common sense would do – flying out to see him without telling him beforehand, because what’s the fun in that?
The sheer look of shock on his face might be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen when you meet him in his driver’s room, but of course Max doesn’t share the same sentiment as you. Because all he chooses to focus is the fact that you were on a plane – a 0.23% risk out of very 7.7 million flights each year, but still. He spends at least half an hour, just checking you over and assuring himself that you and the baby are fine; at some point he decides that you need to go to the nearest hospital to get an ultrasound just to make sure the baby is okay, but you tell him to fuck off and calm his tits down in the kindest way possible. And that’s how the two of you end up on the small couch in his driver’s room, with his arms around you as you lay between his legs, his hands splayed on the swell of your stomach as he caresses the skin through the fabric of your dress. His voice is low as he tells you about his day, mostly media duties since it is only Thursday, and how he thinks putting a cat tree in the nursery is a bad idea (that was your idea initially, but you can see how having two rumbunctious cats hang out in the nursery could cause problems).
“I also thought about something else,” he mumbles, suddenly busying himself with the flower pattern of your dress instead of looking at you.
You raise your brows slightly, motioning him to continue, but let out a huff when he doesn’t do so right away. “Come on,” you whine softly, “tell me what it is Maxie.”
“I don’t want him to get into karting.” His words are soft, mumbled, and most definitely final. You know how Max can be when he puts his mind into it, and this particular topic has been a discussion in your household ever since the two of you found out that you were having a boy. “I don’t want him to go through what I went through.”
Letting out a soft exhale, you motion Max to six next to you on the couch. “He won’t,” you assure him, voice soft as you give pleading looks at him, “you’re not your father, Max.” He gives you a look that basically begs for you to not dwell on the topic, but you continue despite the look he gives you, “And what if he wants to get into karting? Are you going to tell him no?”
Max tries his best to ignore the knowing look you give him, knowing very well that he won’t be able to ever say ‘no’ to his son, who already has him wrapped around his finger. “I might do that, you never know.” He grumbles, hiding his face in your hair – though the soft giggles coming from you manages to put a soft smile on his face. “You’re supposed to agree with me, you know, we have to be a united front.”
“We’ll discuss it when the baby comes, until then, I’ll be the voice of reason.” You emphasise, poking him at his bicep to convey your point. “You feel better now?”
“Kinda,” he murmurs, leaving small kisses onto the exposed skin of your shoulder as he keeps on murmuring against your skin, “I would feel better if I knew you stayed in bed all day, relaxing.”
With that, you choke a loud laugh, and motion him to stand up as you try to do it yourself – though, of course, he has to help with the baby bump being in the way of you doing any sort of physical activity. “You’re funny, let’s go get me ice cream.”
The only response you get back is a confused look from your husband, his head tilted to the side as he eyes you warily. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Um, excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow, “Your son,” pointing to your stomach, you emphasise your words, “is craving ice cream right now.”
Max’s eyes soften instantly, and a smile creeps across his face. He nods, taking your hand gently as he helps you up. “Well, if my son wants ice cream, then ice cream he shall have.”
You giggle as you both make your way out of the driver’s room, Max's hand never leaving yours. The paddock is bustling with activity, but for a moment, it feels like it's just the two of you, cocooned in your little world. As you approach the nearest concession stand, Max’s protective instincts kick in once again. “Is this ice cream stand safe? How long have they been here? Do they have the proper health certifications?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Max, it’s ice cream, not a five-course meal. I’m sure it’s fine.” He sighs but nods, deciding to trust your judgment. After all, you did manage to fly all the way here without incident and somehow alerting him. You both get a generous serving of your favourite flavours, and as you sit down to enjoy your treat, you feel a sense of normalcy and contentment wash over you.
Max watches you with a tender expression, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and worry. “I know I can be overprotective,” he says softly, reaching out to brush a stray hair from your face, “but it’s only because I love you so much.”
You smile, leaning into his touch. “I know, Max. And I love you too. But sometimes, you need to trust that everything will be okay. We’ll figure things out together, just like we always do.”
He nods, his gaze shifting to your belly. “You’re right. I guess I need to talk to my mom.”
“Why?” You ask, tilting your head to the side in curiosity.
“Well, she promised me she’d look after you but you’re here, so I think we need to have a talk about not keeping secrets from each other.” He mumbles, dragging a hand down his face.
You laugh, nudging him playfully. “Oh, Maxie, who do you think helped me with my bags at the airport? Your mom is unsurprisingly a strong woman.”
He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “I should’ve known better than to think you’d stay put for a whole month.” He sighs, but there’s a smile playing on his lips. “Alright, but next time, at least let me know you’re planning something. My heart can only take so much.”
Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice-cream into at least staying put withing the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice cream into at least staying put within the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. He periodically checks in, making sure you're comfortable and well-fed. Each time he sneaks a glance your way, you catch him with a knowing smile and a roll of your eyes, and he returns it with a wink. He knows that there is absolutely no reason for him to be checking on you as much as he does, because you’ll be fine in the cool hospitality suite with enough water to keep you hydrated for years, but he can’t help but worry about anything and everything going wrong. And his worries prove to be true when he sees the one person who he definitely doesn’t want around you.
“What are you doing here?” He asks the approaching figure, “I thought you were not going to be coming to this race but the next one.”
“Given the drop in your performance in the last few races I thought I should be here for... support.” His dad supplies, eyes finding you behind his son’s back on one of the couches in the hospitality, “And I can see the reason for why you’ve been distracted lately, what is she doing here?”
Max scoffs, crossing his arms on his chest protectively, “She’s my wife, she is more than welcome to be here.”
“She’s also a distraction, Max,” his father points out, “you’re going to lose your focus if you keep–”
Since Max is faster than his father where it matters the most, he cuts him off before he can say anything further. “Leave, I don’t want you here.”
Max’s father looks taken aback, his eyes widening momentarily before they narrow into a scowl. “Excuse me?” he says, his voice low and dangerous.
“You heard me,” Max replies firmly, his stance unwavering. “I don’t want you here if you’re going to criticize my wife and stress me out, or worse, stress her out.”
“You’re being irrational,” his father argues, taking a step closer. “I’m just trying to help you stay focused.” Seeing that his son is not going to back down anytime soon, he points a threatening finger towards him. “I’ll be back on race day, but you better be ready to put in a winning performance,” his father finishes, his voice laced with finality. He turns on his heel and walks away, leaving a tense silence in his wake.
Max sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair as he watches his father disappear into the crowd. Looking back at you over his shoulder, talking to some interns from the social media team, he can’t help but feel the dread of you having to face his father – which gives him another reason to somehow stop the two of you from running into each other during the weekend.
On Friday, Max’s luck decides to do him a favour as you tell him that you’re not feeling well enough to go to the track with him for the qualifying, and though it is true that he wants you to be with him, he also realises that this will give him one less thing to worry about. He knows how stressful it can be for you to navigate the bustling paddock and deal with the crowds, especially with the added pressure of possibly encountering his father.
“You rest up, okay?” he says, his voice full of concern. “I'll be back as soon as I can. If you need anything, just call me.”
You nod, giving him a reassuring smile. “I will, Max. Good luck today. We'll be cheering you on from here.”
Max leans down to kiss your forehead gently as he mumbles into your skin, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you reply, your voice soft and comforting, “be careful out there, okay?”
Max has one goal throughout qualifying, and to his team principal’s dismay, it is not being on pole. His one and only goal is to get the session done with as quickly as possible and get back to you as soon as he can. After the session ends, he barely waits for the car to come to a stop before jumping out and heading straight for the hospitality suite. His team notices his urgency but knows better than to question it once he tells them he’ll pay whatever fine the FIA will give him for missing his interviews.
Bursting through the door, Max finds you resting comfortably on the couch, a cup of tea in your hands. The sight of you immediately calms his racing heart. “Hey,” he says softly, walking over to sit beside you. “How are you feeling?”
You smile up at him, still in his team gear and the hat he almost never takes off, the warmth in your eyes easing his worries. “Better, now that you're here. How did it go?”
“Starting on pole,” he replies, mostly in a mumble, taking your hand in his. “But all I could think about was getting back to both of you.”
You squeeze his hand, your expression tender. “I'm proud of you, Max. You did great.”
He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Thanks. Let's just relax for the rest of the day, hm? I want to hold you to make sure you’re not getting out of this bed until tomorrow.”
“You know, I would be happier about this proposal if it was until different circumstances,” you sigh, earning a laugh from him as he pulls you towards his chest, being careful not to spill your tea, of course. Why? Because it is a safety hazard, of course.
As you settle back into the bed together, Max feels a sense of relief wash over him. The stress of the day melts away in your presence, and he realizes how much he needs these quiet moments with you to forget all about the outside world and focus his energy on what actually matters instead.
The next day, feeling much better, you prepare to join Max at the track for the race. He’s still concerned but reassured by your determination to support him. As you arrive at the paddock together, Max is more attentive than ever, keeping an eye out for his father in hopes of trying to prevent the two of you running into each other. Navigating through the bustling paddock, Max keeps a protective arm around your waist, and a hand on your bump whenever the two of you stand somewhere talking to someone, guiding you through the throngs of people. His eyes constantly scan the crowd, his jaw set in a determined line. The other drivers and team members greet you warmly, and you return their smiles, feeling the anticipation that surrounds you.
“Max, relax a bit,” you whisper, squeezing his hand as you notice the tension in his posture.
He glances down at you, his expression softening slightly. “I just want to make sure everything’s okay.”
“I know,” you reply, reaching up to stroke his cheek, “but we’re here to enjoy the race and support you. Try to focus on that.”
He nods, taking a deep breath as both of you make your way to the Red Bull hospitality area. The team welcomes you with open arms, and you settle into a comfortable spot where you can watch the preparations for the race. He asks one of the interns to keep an eye on you, which he thought he was being sly whilst doing it, but you of course catch him in the corner of your eye. That’s when you realise the man walking towards him, your eyes meeting in nothing short of disdain for each other.
You stiffen slightly, your hand tightening around Max’s hand as he turns just in time to see his father approaching, his protective instincts kicking into high gear as he lets go of your hand and decides to wrap his arm around you protectively instead.
“Max,” Jos says, his tone neutral but carrying an underlying condescension. “We need to talk before your race begins, walk with me.”
Max's grip tightens around you for a moment before he reluctantly loosens his hold. “What is it, Dad?” he asks, his voice steady but tinged with irritation.
Jos's eyes flicker to you before focusing back on Max. “I wanted to discuss strategy, but I can see this isn't a good time.”
Max's jaw clenches, his protective instincts on high alert. “If it's important, we can talk here. I’m not leaving her side.”
Jos sighs, clearly frustrated. “Fine, if that's how you want it.”
Max’s arm remains firmly around you as his father steps closer. “Make it quick,” Max insists, his tone leaving no room for argument. If other people were to see your eyes moving from one Verstappen to the other, they’d probably think you are watching a tennis match, though the situation in front of you is certainly more tense than that.
Jos glances at you once more before addressing Max. “I just wanted to remind you to stay focused. Pole position is a great start, but you need to keep your head in the race.”
Max's eyes narrow, and he lets out a scoff, “I know how to do my job, no need for reminder. Anything else?”
Jos shakes his head, his expression a mix of disappointment and resignation. “Just don’t let distractions cost you the win.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Max hisses, taking a step towards his father as he gently pushes you behind himself. You have to put a hand against his chest to slow him down, though that doesn’t prove to be a sufficient prevention method. “I already told you; she is my wife, and he is not going anywhere so you better get that into that damaged brain of yours.”
“Max,” you try to plead with him, “please, not before your race.”
He gives you a look over his shoulder for a short moment before turning back towards his father. His jaw is set as he looks at the man in front of him. “I’ll only tell you this one more time. When she’s here with me, you don’t show up. If you do show up, you don’t come near her, you don’t talk to her, you don’t even look at her.” Another step taken towards his father has you tightening your hold on him, but he still manages to convey his message. “Try something like this again, and you won’t be in my life anymore let alone my son’s.”
Jos's lips press into a thin line, his eyes darting to you briefly before settling back on Max. “Fine,” he repeats, his tone colder. “Just remember what’s at stake every time you get behind the wheel.”
Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. “I know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.”
Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. “I know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.”
It’s not the first time Max has stood up to his father, not by any means. But you can tell that this time affects him in a different way. The weight of the words exchanged and the implications for their future relationship linger in the air. You can feel the tension radiating from Max as he watches his father walk away, and it takes a moment for him to relax his posture and turn back to you. “Please tell me something that will calm me down so I don’t somehow do something that would put me to jail.”
“Okay,” you singsong, quickly positioning yourself in front of him so that you can fix him with a strict look on your face. “You are not doing something that will put you into prison, period.”
“I’m going to need a very good reason because all I want to do right now is follow him to his car and punch him.” Unfortunately for you, the way his jaw is set is a telling sign that, no, Max would actually do something like this given the circumstances.
“There is no sim racing in prison.” You try to provide, giving him a weak smile.
Max's lips twitch into a small, reluctant smile at your words, the tension in his jaw easing slightly. “No sim racing in prison, huh? Do you honestly think that would keep me from doing something stupid?”
“I panicked!” You exclaim, hitting him on his chest lightly as he laughs at you silently. “How are you supposed to help me raise our son,” you point to your stomach to emphasise your point, “if you’re in prison, huh?”
Max's smile grows wider, the tension in his posture finally starting to melt away. “Okay, okay, you’ve got a point,” he says, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes. “I need to be here for both of you. But it’s so damn hard to ignore him.”
You reach up and cup his face in your hands, your eyes soft and filled with understanding. “I know, but you’re stronger than him. And you have more important things to focus on. Like winning this race and getting me more ice cream on our way back to the hotel.”
He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly as he lets out a soft chuckle. “You’re right. I can’t let him get to me. Not today.”
“Exactly,” you say, giving him a reassuring smile, “I usually am.”
Max laughs, the sound lightening the mood even more. “Yes, you usually are,” he agrees, pulling you closer for a brief kiss. “Thank you for always knowing how to calm me down.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” you say, resting your forehead against his. “Now, go out there and show everyone what you can do. We’ll celebrate with ice cream afterward.”
“Deal,” he replies, his eyes twinkling with affection and determination. With one last squeeze, he lets you go and turns towards his team, his focus now fully on the race ahead. “But I feel like I need to let you know that I would definitely go to prison for life for you.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Don’t you have a race to win, Verstappen?”
He grins, giving you one last kiss before heading off to prepare for the race, giving you a grin over his shoulder as he starts to move away, “So, I’ll get the rest of that kiss after the race, then?”
“Yeah, Max,” you let out a breathy laugh, your eyes not leaving his for a moment, “after the race!”
#monzabee#requests open#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smut#formula 1#fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#imagine#fluff#angst#smut#max verstappen fluff
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TIL ae carries null
NESTOR JUST RNG'D ME A KITTEN NAMED SERAPHIM?!?!
#my jaw DROPPED. like IRL#i was just messing around#recently got my first ever full-solid kitten with no white marks. i believe i posted a pic of Tiny before#he's north wind. i thought i'd toss him into the bean sandbox with some other kittens around his age to see potential future kittens#put him and seraphim into the bean sandbox. the SHOCK i got at seeing unexpected nulls#this also means my first full-solid carries null. as if it wasn't enough that his parents can potentially produce voids#one of them carries null#that is quite the bloodline for a pair formed naturally without craftable items#i'm gonna go craft up some family trees now. just to see WHICH parent carries null#i don't really wanna get too into breeding bc i don't want to focus so much on potential cats i forget to cherish the ones i have#(such as the way rocky is currently so special to me because she's my only null wind cat in the whole village)#and i am at max catpacity anyways#but i like having solids and other rarer stuff (see again: rocky is my special little girl) so i do some casual genetics investment#and upon realizing two of my kitties who had become partners awhile back had potential for full-solids and even voids#(black north w/ no white marks x solid pattern south. bean sandbox officially confirmed it to me)#i whipped up catmint tea so fast#ok update: it is the solid pattern parent who carries null!#i'm not gonna matchmake tiny and seraphim when they grow up i'm gonna let them form relationships naturally#but maybe when they reach adolescence i will headcanon that Someone has a crush and is shy.
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the sky is turning its axis around me
flipping me over, pulling and pushing my insides apart
and yet i’m in the same place
driving the same streets, again and again like a ticking of a clock
thinking of the same people
who haven’t once thought of me.
#march 17th#also my cat is dying and its crazy bc that means im really getting old and have nothing left of my childhood#also had a nightmare abt my ex who is a narcissistic manipulator but sometimes i wonder if im wrong to see him that way#ahhhhh!!#and i got a parking tickie and had anger issues abt it but rlly im just so fucking not feelin good and have no time to feel it#sigh#poet tree#working 9 hr shifts all weekend too#thats ok#but stillll
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I Didn’t Ask for This
Freddy decided to prank Billy. It was nothing special really. He just decided to enter a bunch of photos of Billy, in his Marvel form, of course, into the Sexiest Heroes Alive submissions. It’s basically a magazine company that accepts photos of heroes and eventually decides who’s the most handsome. Initially, Freddy hadn’t known how popular this magazine was. After all, he’s from the 50’s and apparently, this thing started in 85’. So he just submitted it like nothing, only after sneakily taking photos of Marvel. Of course, with the help of an actual woman who could probably know more about this. The actual woman was Ms. Bambi.
Freddy: *hiding in some bushes trying to take photos of Marvel helping a cat out of a tree*
Ms. Bambi: *standing next to the bush because she doesn’t feel like crouching down next to him* “What are we doing again?”
Freddy: “I’m taking photos of Captain Marvel so I can enter them into a competition.”
Ms. Bambi: “What types of photos? Photos of him saving people?”
Freddy: “No. Photos of him being…” *looks absolutely disturbed he’s about to let this word leave his life* “…Sexy.” *fake gags*
Ms. Bambi: *raises a brow* “Oh. And you think that’s going to pass?” *takes the camera*
They took many many photos and at the end they compared them all.
Ms. Bambi: *looking at the photos that they placed on a park bench* “How many can we send in at a time?”
Freddy: “I don’t know? As many as we want? Also, we? Are you committed to this too now?”
Ms. Bambi: “Yes.” *nods head* “How about we send in these four?” *points to four of the photos*
Freddy: “Sure?” *shrugs*
The two sent in the photos and promptly forgot about them for about three months. Meanwhile, Billy was still unaware of everything that happened. That is, until the day came that someone showed him the magazine.
Marvel: *minding his business and chilling*
Flash: *snickering as he walks over to him, holding a magazine* “Cap, you never seemed like the type. I’ll give you that.”
Marvel: “What do you mean?”
Flash: “I mean you never seemed like the type to enter yourself into Sexiest Heroes Alive.” *shows him the magazine*
Marvel: *takes the magazine and slowly starts looking horrified as he reads (think just like this)* “What the fuck?” *also sounds horrified as he flips through some of the pages of the magazine*
Flash: *surprised cause he’s never heard Marvel actually curse* “What?”
Marvel: “How did they get these? Most people in Fawcett avoid modern technology.”
Flash: “Are you saying someone took these without you knowing?”
Marvel: “Yes!”
Flash: “Do you know who could’ve done this?” *now sounds a little concerned for his friend*
Marvel: “No? I have no clue who it could be either besides maybe a villain but even then. The only person in Fawcett whose experienced tech outside of Fawcett, and would do something like this would be…”*anger slowly crosses his face until he looks completely infuriated* “Junior.” *stomps off to go find Freddy*
Flash: *genuinely concerned for Freddy because he’s never seen Marvel that mad in his life*
Don’t worry. Billy wasn’t that mad. He just yelled at Freddy for a bit before they both got ice cream and promptly forgot about it.
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