#i also fucking hate how that movie made it seem as if the joker loved harley. he would have mever rescued her

[spooky-kakashi]

i hate you suicide squad 2016 for what you’ve done to the Harley Quinn image you killed a perfectly good clown girl

[call-me-liquid]

Lily's Harley Quinn Show video is Garbage (and here's why)

We all know Lily's media hottakes are BAD. But, I feel like critics have mostly focused on her hottakes on media she hates. I've personally become more interested in what media she actually LIKES . . . Because her rational is often times even more nuts.

Well, this video made me mad enough that I'm gunna write a post about it now. Prepare your assholes for the death rattle of this DC fanboy losing his shit:

To be clear, I like this show, for some of the same reasons Lily does even. . . But that's not going to stop me from taking the piss.

(I encourage you all to watch the video in full beforehand so you can get the context of the quotes I'm pulling. Timestamps will be included though.

I just told people to watch your stupid video Lily-- can't cry copyright here.)

-0:19: TWENTY SECONDS IN, STEVEN UNIVERSE IS REFERENCED. GG LILLIAN.

-0:36: BITCHING ABOUT HOW VICTIMIZED SHE IS. 30 SECONDS IN.

-0:55: "I dare say it's the best thing to come out of the Batman franchise in a long time."

It seems like the last thing Lily watched/played/read in "the Batman franchise" was The Dark Knight. You dare boldly, Lily. Ironically I feel like she would at least like the Lego Batman movie, if not all the other good shit that's come out since 2011. Also, this is one of the first of many times she calls the entire fucking DC Universe "The Batman Franchise."

-1:00: "If you're watching this show for at all you're watching it for the romantic arc between Harley and Ivy. Don't lie."

I know this is a joke. I'm not an idiot, but. If you're familiar with Lily's general media consumption, you'll be well aware she watches shit a lot of the time for the ships and the ships ALONE. I feel like this really highlights how she views media in general in a way that's rather revealing. This video is two years old, and I wouldn't be surprised if Lily's opinion has soured a bit given the direction the show goes after this video was released. Put a pin in this comment. 📌

-1:15: "I mean it's a post-joker Harley Quinn show what else are they going to do.

Put a pin in that comment.📌

-2:00: Lily goes on to summarize the plot of the show . . . Completely ignoring all the plot beats that have nothing to do with the romance.

Put a pin in that one too.📌

-3:30: Lily indicates she identifies with Ivy.

Another pin.📌

-4:10: Lily starts talking about how near the end of the second season, Harley has now confessed her feelings to Ivy, but Ivy turns her down because she's going to get married to Kite Man (enjoy the insanity of that sentence if you haven't seen the show.)

Though I don't think she's nessesarily making any real poor points here yet, I want to point out that she really flattens the complexity of the emotions going on here. The problem is that Ivy and Harley's relationship has reached a level of intimacy where they really can't just go back to being friends. Ivy is happily in a relationship with Kite Man at this point, he's been a much more stable and reliable partner to Ivy. Though it's implied her feelings for Harley go a lot deeper. During Joker's confrontation of Harley, Lily frames it as a "go get 'er" pep talk like it's a fucking 80s rom com. He's trying more to get Harley to emotionally resolve things with her-- regardless of outcome. Ivy did say no once already. The audience expects she isn't going to say no a second time since that wouldn't be a narratively satisfying conclusion, but in the real world equivalent, she could have. The Joker wasn't telling Harley to harass Ivy until she gives in.

-5:16: Not really a mark against Lily's video persay, but in a season that aired after Lily made this video the prospect of Harley and Ivy breaking up is explored. Lily must have been seething, lol.

-5:28: "I love a good fluffy romance. I'm so fucking done with people's obsession with the nasty stuff [Flashes Catra and Adora on screen.]"

Honestly this comment has me wondering if Lily decided to check her phone or just skip through scenes where Harley and Ivy weren't being lovey-dovey. I don't know what fucking show she apparently watched (foreshadowing is a narrative tool wh--.)

-5:48: "Poison Ivy has always had the same problem a lot of female characters in DC comics have had in despite being an actual doctor they always just put her in a skin tight leotard [ . . . ] About the only notable exception to that was in The Batman [the 2005 show] where she was a teenager [classical Lily goonery inserted here.]"

Ignoring the goon comment, in isolation I don't have a grievance with this comment persay. As a generalization, it's more or less true about Ivy. She's unfortunately one of the lesser well-used characters in the various DC canons as a whole. However, Lily is going to start implying she's more familiar with DC in general, especially the comics, than she really is. I have strong reason to doubt Lily would know Ivy canonically has a doctorate in botanical sciences if this show didn't call so much attention to it. You'll see why in a moment.

Also the 2005 Batman show is far from the only iteration to reimagine Ivy as a teen. I like that show's take on Ivy too, but that's not a fucking unique spin on the character.

-6:57: "Clayface was always a random D-list monster like Carnage, but here he's reimagined as a struggling actor."

In a show that had the balls to feature Queen of Fables, she's calling Clayface a fucking "d-lister." Nevermind Carnage. But no Lily, Clayface has been a struggling actor since his first appearance in Detective Comics No.40. It's literally the first thing in his bio on his fucking wiki page.

-7:09: "There's one episode where [Clayface] assumes the identity of Stephanie to get into Riddler's college [ . . . ] Seriously I'm convinced he's been moonlighting as Stephanie a lot. The other girls on campus call her 'Steph.' She's been there for a while. This is Clayface's secret identity and you can't convince me otherwise."

LILY THAT'S NOT SUBTEXT THAT'S THE FUCKING JOKE. IT'S TEXT. IT'S CANON. YES. CLAYFACE HAS BEEN FUCKING AROUND ON RIDDLER'S CAMPUS THIS WHOLE TIME. CONFIRMED IN THE SHOW. LILY. LILLLYYYYYY.

Worth pointing out too, she'd totally call Clayface's Stephanie character transphobic if she hated the show.

-9:00: "The writers though 'okay, what do we use to fill our quota of the sad misguided villian this arc-- oh I know fucking BATMAN!'"

Lily what the fuck are you doing when you sit down to watch a show for your channel? Are you playing Candycrush the whole time? Are you screaming at Mikaila that often you miss like . . . Almost everything!? What are you doin' sweaty!?

Lilian, Bruce is not the primary antagonist of the 3rd season . . . IVY IS. Or really, Harley and Ivy's emotional dysfunction is the antagonist of basically this whole series, and it's Ivy's turn to be the main driver of conflict. The person destroying Gotham is Ivy. Not Batman, IVY.

Bruce and Selina's relationship is supposed to be a conceptual foil to Harley and Ivy's. Bruce is having an emotional breakdown the entire series has more or less been building up to.

-9:15: [In reference to Batman getting sent to prison] "I want him to get some nice and comfortable therapy."

. . . Lily is that what you think happens in prison?

-9:35: Lily is talking about the Joker's step-dad arc, and this is as good a time as any to stop for a sec to talk about how Lily doesn't seem to get what The Harley Show is doing with the characters.

The thing that makes the show an exceptionally brilliant take on the DC universe is that virtually all the characters (with some exceptions, that were tweaked for the better mostly) are actually faithful to their comic book/generally established characterization. To an impressive degree, down to even just minor details. You can tell the people who made this show are genuine fans of DC comics. Their personalities and character arcs are exaggerated for comedic effect, with specific interesting angles teased out to draw focus to them. Some elements of their personality are recontextualized to create a more engaging dynamic, but regardless. Even most of the plot elements are at least loose adaptations of storylines from the comic, or other DC media. It's really impressive how the show both works as a functional take on the DC universe by itself, and as a parody of it. Lily demonstrates she's totally oblivious to this multiple times in the video, but her section on the Joker best exemplifies this.

The Joker has taken over and/or become mayor of Gotham multiple times in the comics. Lily thinks for some god forsaken reason in the 70 something years Batman comics have been printed, nobody's thought of that. THEY HAVE. The gag with the second time Joker takes over Gotham IN THIS FUCKING SHOW ALONE is . . . He's actually a really good mayor. Gotham is a perpetual capitalist nightmare shithole of a city. The most insane, radical anarchist thing for The Joker to do is . . . Be a socialist who actually gives a shit about the small folk. That's the joke, Lily. That's the joke. That's the mother fucking JOKE. THE FUNNY HAHA, THERE IT IS LILY. I FUCKING EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.

And Lilian. The Joker being at his most normal and stable while he has a family. Is. A. Direct. Parody. Of. One. Of. The. Most. FAMOUS. BATMAN STORIES. EVER. WRITTEN.

SHE IS LITERALLY FUCKING SHOWING THE EPISODE WHERE THEY DIRECTLY VISUALLY REFERENCE THE KILLING JOKE ON SCREEN. LILY YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING HERNIA.

-10:10: Lily calls Sam Raimi a "douchebag."

Fuck right off.

-10:25: "It's a return to wacky hijinks that uses to define The Joker back when he was a gangster in funny makeup."

NO IT ISN'T LILY.

-11:00: Lily bitches about Harley Quinn for the 7 minutes in the remaining runtime.

Okay, the play-by-play is over, I'm going to address this section all at once because it will be quicker and more comprehensive if I do. This is the point where all the aformentioned pins come in.

Though I'm going to have to be ignoring some bullshit Lily says here in order to stay focused, I will mention first, Lily doesn't seem to realize Batfleck and Nolan's Batman were MASSIVE departures from the comics and don't pull much from the storylines. I don't think that's nessesarily a bad thing, even though I'm not the biggest fan of either of those interpretations, but for the record-- no. Those adaptations have almost nothing to do with Year one, The Dark Night Returns, The Killing Joke, or The Long Halloween outside of superficial elements. Lily just googled "famous Batman comics" and picked the four she probably vaguely heard of before. Again, she didn't even recognize the in-your-face impossible to miss Killing Joke parody episode she used as footage for this video. SHE'S JUST PRETENDING SHE'S READ COMICS SHE HASN'T.

Now to the point:

Lily's rational for not liking Harley's portrayal in the Harley Quinn show is honest to god brain damage. I'm not even sure how hard I need to go into explaining this because . . . It's pointing at the text itself and calling it a flaw. Harley's entire journey as a person is TRYING TO DISCOVER WHO SHE IS outside of the toxic codependency she had with the Joker. Her arc is both a meta commentary on the nature of the character conceptually and her journey to redefine herself. THIS ISN'T FUCKING SUBTLE. THIS IS STATED IN THE SHOW. Harley's identity crisis over whether or not she's even a villan anymore STARTS IN SEASON 3. Harley's lack of inhibition is what DRIVES THE PLOT IN SEASON 2. Harley's struggles to emancipat herself IS THE PLOT OF THE FIRST FUCKING EPISODE. This is also honestly the ONLY DC property I can think of that actually bothers to do something with the fact that Harley is a psychologist. Almost on that basis alone, it's one of the most refreshing takes on the character. That actually means something when I say it, because I've actually read a fucking comic in my life. LILY WHAT FUCKING DIMENSION DO YOU SLIP INTO ANY TIME YOU SIT DOWN TO WATCH A SHOW.

That question is rhetorical-- Lily tells on herself several times throughout this video. Remember those pins? Go read em again. Lily identifies with Ivy, so Lily decided Ivy is the "real" main character-- and wants Harley to be Ivy's loving kissy huggy gf. She genuinely thinks the show is actively making a mistake anytime her smut ship fanfic is interrupted. Lily wants porn. LILY YEARNS FOR THE PORN, ALWAYS. Every single fucking time.

She's decided Ivy has done nothing wrong to create tension in the relationship. She has deemed the character flaws Harley has that creates tension in the relationship a mistake in the writing.

Because Lily has not actually read a comic, but probably has seen Batman: The Animated Series-- she's missed all of the other references and spoofs in the show except for the ones involving Harley. That was the show she was originally created in.

Case-fucking-closed. Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Lily Orchard is talking out of her ass.

Kill my parents and call me the world's greatest detective, I guess.

[goggles-mcgee]

FUCK FREUD CLUB SHENANIGANS because I didn't think people would enjoy my little idea so much and I have more to share!

• Harley who may have been drinking a bit: "I gotta admit Brucie babe, I, like many of our classmates, had a little crush on you!"

Jonathan who was getting more comfortable without wearing his Scarecrow hood, also who has been drinking too: "Confession, I also had a crush on you Wayne."

Bruce, now blushing and wondering if he made the Sangria too strong for this week's club meeting: "Well I'm flattered. If we're being honest here, I did have a crush on you Crane after you went off on Professor Kingsley when he said Freud was a genius."

Jonathan, now also slightly blushing: "Stop Mister Wayne or the media will somehow get wind of that and it'll be the new scandal."

Harley: "Speaking of scandal! Have you guys heard about the latest fight Pengy and Riddler had? I heard they legit got into a fight in front of the Bat!"

Sometimes their club meetings turns into gossip sharing.

• Harley bursting into Bruce's Study with Jonathan right behind her: "You're being played by George Clooney!?"

Jonathan: "You agreed to be the secret identity of Batman!?"

Bruce who was plotting Jason's second funeral and Tim's first: "My son's forged my signature on those papers. Then the other's heard about it and got so excited and I couldn't back out! Especially after Cass made me a card! She made me a card!"

Harley: "Pushover."

Jonathan: "People pleaser."

Bruce with his head in his hands: "Arnold Schwarzenegger is Mr. Freeze....Uma Thurman is Poison Ivy....Should I be worried that they'll attack me more after the movie?"

Harley now super excited: "They're in the movie!?"

• Jonathan standing next to a white board as he hosts this week's club meeting: "Today's club meeting will start off with our absolute favorite thing we hate about Freud. After that Harley has designed a Family Feud style game where Bruce, you and I will go against each other and guess Freud's stupidest idea's and studies based off Harley's questions. Winner takes home the homemade Fuck Freud Trophy which is a golden hand giving off the middle finger."

Bruce and Harley lifting up their hands in unison and solemnly flipping off a picture of Freud: "Fuck Freud."

• Bruce being held "hostage" by Two-Face before looking at the clock: "Oh shit. Harv? Can we like, reschedule this? I have a club meeting and I'm in charge of snacks this week."

Two-Face: "You...want to reschedule a hostage situation? For a club?"

Bruce, completely serious: "Yes."

• Harley got them Letterman jackets for the club, of course personalized. Jon even got them mugs for the club. Bruce caved and got them pens and pins made for the club.

His kids do not understand why he goes along with the club but they have also never seen their dad so normal and happy.

Clark gets jealous.

• Bruce walking in late to a club meeting with Starbucks for everybody: "You would not believe the nightmare I had last night."

Jonathan already pulling out a clipboard and pen: "Tell us all about it."

Harley coughing to hide her chuckles: "Yes tell the dream psychologist that has a nightmare kink all about your scary dream."

Jonathan who is blushing now, is it in anger? Is it in embarrassment? Who knows: "One class! One dream psychology class! And I do not have a fear kink!"

Bruce finally taking his seat: "Denial. Interesting. Now let's acknowledge the fact that Harley said you had a nightmare kink not fear kink. Do you want to discuss that further Mr. Crane?"

Jonathan throwing a pen at Bruce: "We were talking about you not me Rich Boy!"

Bruce and Harley cackling.

• Jonathan and Harley are still villains but they kind of start to edge into the anti-hero stage of things. Nobody knows why expect Bruce and he's so proud.

• They actually call each other on their bad days. Harley yelled at Bruce about being more open with his kids and he actually really took it to heart. Jon got collectively yelled at about his self esteem issues and taking better care of himself because no Jon, a human can't just survive off corn and sweet tea. Harley had a tough love session when Bruce and Jon had to tell her just how bad Joker was to her and yeah she realized that but she shouldn't be afraid to get into a relationship with someone just because of that past toxic relationship.

• Bruce's kids actually start to get comfortable with Harley and Jonathan being around the house from time to time. It's still weird to them but they see first hand the changes that all three are going through.

• Bruce babysits Lou and Bud for Harley whenever she needs him too or if she gets in trouble and is sent to Arkham. Damian loves helping out with them.

• Batman may or may not have taken the long way to the university when he heard Scarecrow took over the Psych 101 class because the teacher was obviously incompetent Bats. He was teaching young impressionable minds!

• Bruce admits to them that he hates the whole 'Playboy Billionaire' role he used to play and can't seem to escape from. Especially because he's a dad now, it's not like he can really afford to be a playboy.

• Harley insists on teaching Bruce how to fight because she can't believe how often he gets himself into bad situations.

Jonathan agrees about this and even gives Bruce some of his Fear Toxin in case he ever has to use it in defense to get away from anyone. He even put it in a pepper spray-like bottle so it would go unnoticed.

I have so much more headcanons but here are a few XD

Enjoy

[celestial-fucking-weeb]

Anonymity be Damned

Hi, everyone! This is my first ever fic, and it’s a part of the Citrus Server collab! I’m so excited about it, and I know it’s super self indulgent, but I worked really hard on it and I hope you like it. Please give me feedback and tell me what you like and what I can improve on; also, please be nice to me, I’m a baby.

MASTER LIST IS  HERE  Go check out everyone’s hard work!

Warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, AGED UP (mid twenties), fluff, brief angst, insecurities, smut, body worship, chubby kink, marking (hickies), Papi kink

Pairing: Sero Hanta x chubby!female reader

Taglist: @reinawritesbnha

Prompt: "Masquerade balls were something you’d only ever heard about in movies. You couldn’t deny the prospect was intriguing; donning your most elegant attire, confidence boosted by your anonymity and the intoxication brought on by such a magical atmosphere. You and your fellow partygoers were almost doomed to desire, inhibitions washed away long before the wine and spirits started to flow.

The mystery, majesty, and potential for mischief were far too enticing to resist.

So, when you received an invitation to Midnight’s Masquerade, you didn’t think twice about accepting…"

—————————

Of course, not thinking twice about accepting came back to bite you as soon as the realization set in that you would, in fact, have to go. Suddenly hyper-aware of your need to buy a dress, and knowing how little you enjoy shopping, you call your best girls for the job. A quick text to the groupchat had Mina and Yaomomo screaming with excitement that you were actually asking to go shopping. Jirou and Ochako sharing your apprehension, and Hagakure and Froppy bowing out due to their schedules, but wishing you luck with sweet emojis.

Yaomomo chose the dress shop, under the enthusiastic offer that she’d pay to ensure everyone would receive something from her favorite designers. You knew this was a place only Yaomomo could frequent- beautiful gowns lined every wall, display mannequins donning the most gorgeous dresses, made of the best fabrics with jewels perfectly beaded in, none of which had price tags so as to not “ruin the material” as she had told all of you. Whisking you all into dressing rooms bigger than your entire apartment, the staff practically fawned over each of you, offering assistance, refreshments, recommendations, and- oh fuck- measurements. Nerves shot through your entire body and made you nauseous, ready to make a stupid excuse to leave before your insecurities were announced to your girlfriends. You’ve always been...bigger.

The word tasted bitter on your tongue. The consultant made barely a sound as she pulled out her tape, but you heard it. That little “hm” noise, indicating judgement, knowing that most of their stock isn’t going to fit you properly, what with your plump thighs, soft tummy, squishy arms, the rolls that seemed to stay no matter how many workouts you do..

“We don’t carry plus size gowns, but I’m sure I can find something for you.”

All is confirmed when she says those stupid fucking words with that Joker-esqe smile and that hint of disgust in her tone. ‘I shouldn’t be here, I never should’ve accepted that invitation, why did I even think this was a good idea, the whole thing is for beautiful skinny girls like your friends, this is all a mistake,’ you think to yourself, insecurities and anxiety flooding your brain. Mina’s voice snaps you out of your spiral.

“Excuse me, I don’t believe we asked for your personal opinion on her body. In fact, I believe we only asked for you to do your job, but if you can’t complete such a daunting task, I’m sure there are 20 other people who’d love to take your place.” she grinned, in a tone too perky for her threatening choice of words.

“Also, as I happen to frequent this shop, I know your entire inventory. As such, I know that you do, in fact, carry gowns for each of our sizes. If you can find one to fit my chest, I know you have a variety of gowns to fit my beautiful friend, y/n. I suggest you begin pulling them, as I’m sure you’ve gotten the measurements you need. Now.” This time it’s Yaomomo, handling the situation with dignitary-level finality, before gracefully walking to you with a comforting smile. Ochako wipes a tear you weren’t aware had fallen, attempting to comfort you with false empathy, saying how you two are “practically the same size”, but you know you’re not. It’s comforting nonetheless, having the support of your friend group. Jirou cracks self deprecating jokes to lighten the mood, complaining, “If I have to wear a frilly gown to this bullshit, so do you, y/n. You’re not getting out of this that easy,” and you absolutely know she means it.  

With your spirit slightly renewed and the consultants carrying in a multitude of dresses, you all end up having a blast laughing about how the pink ballgown does not fit Jirou’s aesthetic and the skintight green satin number Ochako tried on would quite literally have Deku passed out on the floor. You giggled with Yaomomo about how certain dresses looked risqué and nearly pornographic on your respective figures. Mina whined about how each dress didn’t have enough glitter, her complaints falling on deaf ears. Over the course of two and a half hours, each of the girls had secured a dress. Mina, in a teal mermaid-style dress with enough sparkle woven into the tulle to blind. Jirou, in a simple deep purple velvet gown that gracefully fell off her shoulders. Ochako, deciding, after much peer pressure, to opt for the green satin to make Deku drool. Yaomomo, in a red gown with beautiful beading, and a deep V neckline. You, on the other hand, were struggling to find something that doesn’t have you hyperfixating on one aspect of your body or another, limiting your breathing and movement so as to not further sink into the mean thoughts swirling around inside your head. The girls have gone into full support staff-mode, bringing you dresses of every cut known to man, offering more champagne to dull the anxieties, Yaomomo even offering to make you a custom dress with her quirk. Jirou sheepishly comes into the room, head down, hoping no one brings attention to the fact that she just sifted through dresses for a good 15 minutes and didn’t hate it, before nudging your soft side. You turn to her, defeated, and ready to give up, when you realize what she’s holding. She’s picked a dress for you, even though she hates shopping anywhere that isn’t blaring music through the speakers and dimly lit. You smile sweetly at her shy offering, reaching out to take it before she pulls back.

“No, I have an idea… I know it’s easy to look at your insecurities before the dress is all the way on, and I think you should let us help you into it with your eyes closed… Then, when you turn around to the mirror, you can see all the beautiful parts, like we do!” She looks down at the floor as she mutters the words, as though she’s embarrassed to be so soft and sweet.

“THAT’S A GREAT IDEA, JIROU! OH MY GOD, Y/N, YOU HAVE TO LET US DRESS YOU, IT’LL BE JUST LIKE CINDERELLA WITH THE BIRDS AND THE MICE, COME ONNN…” Mina bounces up and down, grabbing your hands and pleading, knowing you never say no when she gives you such excited eyes.

“Uh… fine… Yeah, I guess it couldn’t hurt. It’s not like I have anything to lose.” You shyly whisper, looking away.

If it were anyone else, you’d never want them to see you getting dressed, soft tummy and extra squish uncovered, leaving you vulnerable to their judgement. But these are your best friends, you’d known them for years. They’d held your hair on your 21st birthday, and cuddled into bed with you when you were crying over unrequited love. They’ve had your back, they’d never make fun of you, and Jirou chose this dress all special for you, you couldn’t say no. With that, you turned around and closed your eyes, arms out and waiting for them to help you into whatever Jirou had deemed right for you.

“Okay, y/n, almost done, just have to zip this last part up and… DONE!” Mina and Yaomomo stepped back from their positions holding the sides and pulling the zipper, respectively. Finally admiring the you in the dress, there was a moment of absolute silence. You started shifting uncomfortably, wondering just how horrible you looked if they didn’t even have words to describe it. Ochako was the first to break the quiet and a teary-sounding “You’re so beautiful, y/n.”, followed by Mina’s signature squeals of excitement. Yaomomo clasped her hands together and began ranting about “how gorgeous you looked” and “how perfect the dress was” and “how she didn’t even know they had this one yet”. Jirou, sensing your anxious shifting, finally told you to open your eyes and turn around with a hand on your shoulder, the satisfied smirk on her face audible in her now assured voice.

“Oh… wow…” was all you could manage to say, eyes wide as you saw yourself in the full length mirror. This was, in all honesty, the first time you felt beautiful in years. The dress did nothing to hide your body- no- it somehow managed to accentuate every single curve in the most beautiful way possible. The gown was black, made from silk and taffeta, with some built in structure, and oh so soft. Simultaneously comfortable, secure, and elegant, the strapless gown mimicked a one shoulder, right side jutting up in an asymmetrical style and the left dipping just low enough to show your cleavage before cascading down your curves, hugging each roll of your body gently, showing off your figure and flowing down to the floor with a slit up your thigh, only visible when you walked and showing the ample flesh of your hip and thigh. God, it was perfect. You felt strong and classy and sexy and beautiful. Turning to Jirou, you pull her into your chest and hug her, thanking her a thousand times for finding it.

“Whoa, hey, okay… I’m glad you like it, you look absolutely beautiful. But- um- hey, can you let go? I’m suffocating in titties here.” Jirou laughed, genuinely struggling to breathe in your embrace.

“Oh shit, sorry, Jirou! I’m just so happy, I love it so much! I kinda forgot you can’t breathe when I do that…” You chuckle nervously, releasing her from your embrace.

“Yay! Okay, now that everyone has a dress, let’s go purchase them and get some food. I’m starving!” Yaomomo pitches the idea, and everyone agrees, excited to hurry out of the shop for a meal.

_____________________________________________________________

The day had finally come, and your nerves felt fried. The other girls all had dates; Momo and Jirou deciding to go together, Ochako with Deku, even Mina was going with Kaminari. But here you were, riding in the car service alone, makeup absolutely flawless, complete with falsies and red lipstick that was the perfect shade to stand out against your skin. Such a shame no one was going to be benefiting from your efforts tonight, although the thought that your longtime crush, Sero Hanta, would be in attendance was enough to urge you to adjust your carefully placed mask, ensuring your anonymity and polishing your confidence. Sero had been in your friend group since high school, and was the first person you truly warmed up to upon your acceptance into the group. You quickly became the “shy little sister” to the loud ones in the group: Bakugou, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Mina. Jirou and Sero were more your speed; quieter, more laid back and chill, with great senses of humor that not everyone was privy to. With Jirou as your designated best friend, Sero was proclaimed the unrequited love interest. You friendzoned yourself almost immediately, assuming Sero wouldn’t go for a girl like you, not when he was tall, dark, handsome, and muscular. A budding pro hero wouldn’t want you, not with your shy insecurities and soft body…

Little did you know, Sero had been pining after you since the beginning, flirting with you subtly in hopes that you’d express your interest. Eyes wandering down your curves during movie nights, taking in your too-small shorts and how your oversized shirt would raise just enough to see your little tummy pouch, wishing his face was buried between your plump thighs, praying he would be able to leave hickeys on every delicious roll, pleading he could see those cute chubby cheeks covered with tears while your plush lips wrapped around his cock… No- he couldn’t think of you like that. After all, you never returned his flirting, and there’s no way you’d like him when you could crush on manlier guys like Kirishima and Bakugou. ‘He was just a “dollar store Spiderman”, as Bakugou liked to call him, just a guy… Nothing special…’ he thought to himself as he adjusted his own mask in the bathroom mirror at the gala. His friends had all confirmed that you were coming, and that you were coming alone (said by Kaminari while wiggling his eyebrows). Every other person in the group had a date, including Bakugou and Kirishima, who had to practically drag the former to the event in the first place. He was the only one “stagging it”, aside from you, who would no doubt attract attention and end up going home with some flashy hero higher ranked than he was. He sighed, adjusting his tux jacket and cufflinks, and exited into the main ballroom to get a drink.

You walked into the venue, checked in, and stood frozen outside the ballroom entrance. You adjusted your mask, steeled your nerves, and squared your shoulders, reminding yourself how absolutely gorgeous you looked and donning your best “bad bitch” aura. You strut into the place like you own it, suddenly very aware of how many people there are, scanning for familiar faces as you sway your luscious hips to maintain your balance in your heels.

“Holy fuck... “  Sero utters, jaw slack and eyes locked on you. You’re so perfect, breasts bouncing with every step, thighs and tummy jiggling, soft smile gracing your face. He’s staring, and Kaminari has to elbow him to wipe the drool from the side of his mouth before you get there. You’re equally as enchanted, seeing Sero in his black fitted tuxedo, crushed velvet lapels, tapered pants making his quads look positively biteable, crisp white shirt tailored over his pecs, black bowtie (slightly crooked, very fitting of his personality) and mask obscuring his face, leaving him as nothing more than a handsome stranger. A  yellow pocket square catches your attention, reminding you of your favorite hero in his costume. You smirk to yourself, knowing you chose yellow gold heels specifically because they reminded you of him.

“See something you like, Sero-buddy? You’re staring so hard, you’d think she was God.” Kaminari punches Sero in the ribs, trying to break the spell. “Maybe you should talk to her, finally get over your crush on y/n by getting under someone else.” he winks, completely unaware that he’s talking about you in both respects.

“Uh… I don’t know, man. I think I’ll give it a minute, maybe grab another drink and enjoy the party for a while. I’m not trying to start hitting on some random chick just yet, though hot she may be.” Sero laughs, rubbing the back of his neck like he always does when he’s nervous. He diverts his eyes down to his drink, downs the rest of the liquid, then focuses back on you. You wait at the bar for your drink of choice, aware of that beautiful stranger still staring and leaning against the counter just enough to push your ass out. You hear him nearly choke on his drink, and move around the party satisfied with yourself.

A few drinks later, you find yourself on the dance floor, watching from the edge and lightly swaying to the music. A masked man with shaggy black hair, who you can only assume to be pro hero Grand, given his mask barely covered a fourth of his face probably only worn to fit the theme, approached you for a dance, hand extended and bowing at the waist.

“A lady as beautiful as yourself shouldn’t be a wallflower. Care to dance?” he asks, voice low and alluring, looking down at you with a mischievous glint in his deep brown eyes.

“I might…” you smile shyly, taking his hand and letting him lead you.

Once out on the dance floor, he pulls you into his chest with a hand on your lower back. It’s nice to be wanted, to dance so close to a man who finds you beautiful, especially one as chiseled as Grand. ‘Wait- is he…? Are you fucking kidding?’ Your fight or flight response kicks in as soon as you feel his hand drift lower and lower onto your ass. You pull away, ready to ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing, but before you can get a word out, he puts a hand over your jaw, fingers tightly snapping your mouth closed. Unable to speak and too shocked to move, you feel helpless as he whispers in your ear.

“God, I love fat girls. Your self esteem is so low, I can do whatever I want and you’ll fall for it. So stupid, so fun.” His laugh is so dark, and you start to panic before a large, strong hand reaches between the two of you and wraps around Grand’s throat, yanking him back and off of you.

“Listen, this is a classy place, so I’ll give you a choice. Either you apologize to this absolutely gorgeous woman and get the fuck out of here, or I beat you to a bloody pulp right here and ruin both your suit and your face.” The handsome stranger who had originally caught your eye growls, voice so low and intimidating you didn’t doubt for a second he meant every word. ‘His voice sounds so familiar, but I can’t quite place it. He’s so angry, and he’s speaking so low, I can’t figure out where I’ve heard that before.’  Thankful for his saving assistance, and trying to calm yourself from hyperventilating, you watch Grand’s retreating form before turning to the man who is quite literally your Prince Charming of the evening.

Voice still low and angry, “Listen, I need you to distract me. Calm me down so I don’t turn around and kill that guy.” he seethes. “You are stunning, absolutely gorgeous. He was so wrong. He’s an asshole, absolutely vile, and he never should’ve even had the nerve to approach you, much less touch you. God fucking damn it, I should-”

You cut him off by pulling him close, placing your hands on his chest and letting them roam up to fix his still crooked bowtie.

“Thank you…” you whisper, tearing up as you put your head on his chest. His cologne is so calming, his scent enveloping you as his arms instinctively wrap around you and his hand finds the back of your head, holding you to his chest.

The two of you slow dance in silence, his head resting on top of yours, the scent of your shampoo and hairspray comforting him and taking him to a dream where he was dancing with the y/n he knew, feeling your soft body pressed against him, imagining how you’d look in the dress on the girl he was actually dancing with. ‘Oh fuck, y/n would look so fucking perfect in this. Her curves- fuck, this dress is soft- I would absolutely love to run my hands along her body in this dress, press her up against me like this, fuck her thighs- wait… SHIT-FUCK-NO’  Snapped out of his thoughts by the increasing tightness of his tux pants, he prays to god the sexy girl pressed against him doesn’t notice.

You notice something nudging against your thigh, breaking you out of your daydreams about the mystery man being Sero Hanta, opening your eyes before you realize exactly what you’re feeling. ‘Oh… OH. Holy fuck, did I make him hard just dancing? He- uh- feels… big… Maybe if I just-’  you subtly shift your hips, thigh brushing up against him and slotting between his legs just enough. A deep groan rises from his chest, and he leans down to your ear.

“Babygirl, if you keep doing what I think you’re doing, I’m going to have to return the favor~” His voice sounds so familiar, but the lust clouding the low rumble has it taking on an entirely new timbre. You lean in, feeling emboldened by his words, swiping your tongue along the shell of his ear with a simple “Oh really?~ And what if that’s the goal?”

With that, he crooks his finger under your chin and presses his lips to yours. What starts as a sweet and simple kiss quickly evolves into a deep, passionate kiss that left you breathless. His fingers gently resting on your neck, just above your collarbone, and tongue swiping at your bottom lip. You sigh into him, granting him access and letting his tongue explore your mouth, relishing in his deep rumbles and pressing impossibly closer, hoping he’d get the message and take you somewhere more private. Luckily, it seems he seems to read your body language and leads you to a side hallway by pressing his hand on the small of your back, possessively guiding you. Pushing you up against the wall, he leans back in to resume kissing you, with an arm steadying himself above your head. In a simply embarrassing display of clumsiness, your hand reaching for his cheek goes slightly off course, accidentally knocking off his mask and causing you to fumble to the floor to retrieve it. Upon looking up, you see Sero standing with a flushed face and his hand reaching up to the back of his neck, the endearing nervous tic you’d learned from him over the years. Oh God, if your heart wasn’t beating fast enough before, it sure as fuck was now… The man you had yearned after for years not only swooping in to save you from some low-life creep, but also having you in a kabedon against the wall of the fanciest place you’ve ever been in. He laughs, nervous now without his anonymity, and reaches down to help you up.

“I- uh- sorry, I might’ve gotten carried away. I hope you’re okay, I know I’m probably not the hero you wanted. I really do think you’re beautiful, you actually remind me of someone I know and- wow- I’m rambling…” He goes on like this, panicking that he’s somehow ruined your fantasy and disappointed you by existing. He only shuts up when you stand back upright and kiss him softly.

“You’re exactly the hero I want… The hero I’ve always wanted.” You blush, staring up at him with the most loving doe eyes you can manage.

‘Wait… Her voice… Is that- ?’ Sero came to quite possibly the best and utterly terrifying realization; that the girl he’d been lusting after all night and the girl he’d been wanting for years could be the same girl. He hesitantly brought a hand to your face, lightly grazing your mask as though asking for permission. You nod, never breaking your gaze on his concentrated expression, and parted your lips. He gingerly lifts the mask from your features, damning your anonymity, and each of you hold your breath in anticipation. The way he looks at you is like something out of a movie, or one of those shōjo manga you love to obsess over: pure relief, adoration, lust, love. Oh, you want him to look at you like that forever.

“Y/n, I-... You have no idea how happy I am that it’s you. I have been wanting to kiss you for years, and to finally do it, and with you looking… Wow- you are so fucking stunning, I have never seen anything as beautiful in my life. Fuck, I just- I wish I could tell you how perfect you are, express in words how flawless I’ve always thought you were- still do… “ Sero breathed all of this as though he had to get every word out before you disappeared. He held your face in both hands, lightly squishing your cheeks and stroking his thumb over your lips, taking in your hopelessly enthralled expression. “You know what? Fuck this. No- I mean- not ‘fuck this’, I just… I want to do this right. I want you, I need you. I want to express how important you are, I need to show you that you’re everything to me. I want to worship you, kiss every inch of your body and make you feel so incredibly complete and full and whole and appreciated. Do you understand?”

“Hanta… I- Yes. Yes. Please take me home, I need you. I want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.” You lean into his touch, wanting to be ever closer to his warmth.

You yelp as he suddenly picks you up, bridal style, as though you don’t even provide a struggle.

“HANTA, you can’t be carrying me, I weigh more than you, no no no, I’m too heavy, you can’t-”

“Y/n. I’m a pro hero, are you seriously telling me I can’t carry you? I can carry 3 people at once while hanging from a strip of tape in midair. I’ll hold you up forever if you’d let me.” He squeezes you in his hold, emphasizing his point.

His cocky attitude was majorly driven by how good you felt, soft tummy and jiggling tits against his torso, the perfect squish of your thighs in his powerful arms, chubby hands and cheeks tucked into his chest and the crook of his neck. He swore he could die happy right there. In the elevator, he took a moment to take in your entire figure, but upon reaching your feet, something turned him absolutely feral. Your shoes. You were wearing his colors. Every single piece of clothing matched his hero costume. ‘Holy shit… You knew. You wanted him before this even happened. You were his.’ The possessive growl that tore from his chest startled you as he adjusted you in his hold. He had your legs wrapped around his waist, hands unapologetically on the ample crux of your thighs and ass, lips on yours in a desperate kiss that was all tongue and teeth, grinding his hard cock against you. You whimpered against his lips, shocked by his sudden change of demeanor.

“Fuck, you’re wearing my colors, aren’t you? You want me to claim you? You want to be mine? I’ll give you anything you want, babygirl. I just need you to ask for it.~” He growled against your neck, nose tracing the column of your throat.

“Hanta, please, yes- ah~. I want to be yours. I only want to be yours. I need you. Please, please, please.” Normally, you’d be way too shy to beg this much, embarrassed about how desperate you sound, but fuck he’s making you so needy. The gasp that escapes you when Sero licks a stripe up your neck turns into a moan when he starts sucking a hickey over your pulsepoint. He feels so good, the heat between your thighs steadily building with every nip of his teeth and roll of his hips. You thread your fingers through the hair on the back of his neck and pull gently, earning a groan and a buck of his hips. He works his way up to your jaw, leaving pretty little marks in his wake, and returns to your lips like a safe haven. He strokes your tongue with his own, committing your taste to memory. He never wants to forget this moment, especially not when you lightly suck his tongue and pull him in further with those perfect fucking thighs. You’re so soft, being wrapped in your plushness with his fingers digging into the pliable flesh of your ass is too much. Sero’s sinful thoughts are interrupted by your fucked-out voice, so small and innocent, as though you’re afraid of his answer.

“Um… Can I- can I touch you? I mean- I- can I mark you, too?��� You sound so unsure, not used to someone wanting to show you off.  You’re so breathless, and he’d be lying if the pleading in your voice didn’t make his dick twitch in his pants.

“Awwww~ is my babygirl shy now? You want to mark me, too? Go ahead, mi amor, sí se puede. I’m all yours, just like you’re mine.” Sero cranes his head to the side, baring his neck to you, waiting for you to bless him with those full lips, waiting for you to make a show of him finally having the most perfect girl he’s ever known.

If he could’ve taken a picture of your face in that moment, he’d look at it every day. Squishy cheeks blushing, eyes wide with surprise and excitement, gaze clouded with lust. You were so pretty, he couldn’t wait to ruin you. Sero moaned as you sucked a small dark mark onto his skin and happily carried you from the elevator to his room. You tighten your arms around him when he reaches for his key card, involuntarily pushing your chest together and pressing up into him.

“Oh, mi corazón, if you keep pressing into me like that, voy a tener que lamer cada parte de ti y puede que no te deje ir…” His threats sound more like promises when he’s carrying you through the threshold and placing you down gently, though his hands never leave your body.  Tracing your sides, memorizing your curves, squeezing any part he can get his hands on.  His right hand inches down your torso, resting on the pouch of your tummy and making you flinch. Sero notices and worries he’s hurt you, or that you don’t want him to touch you. The hurt in his eyes is obvious when he takes in your tense muscles and eyes squeezed shut, realizing it’s your own insecurities holding you back. He wishes you could see how beautiful you are, see yourself through his eyes. He was going to make you feel so fucking loved, he just had to show you what he couldn’t express in words. You stripped him of his jacket as he unknotted his tie. With nervous hands, you unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it past his broad shoulders, fingers trailing down his sculpted chest and lean abs, admiring the enticing adonis belt and pretty trail of coarse black hair disappearing into his pants. Sero, with his ego now boosted by the lustful look in your eyes as you took him in, returned your gaze to his face with an intensity that made you shiver. He kept eye contact while sweeping your hair to one side, and slowly unzipping your gown. Your breath hitches in your throat as he leans down to place open mouthed kisses along your shoulders as he pushes your dress down your body, kissing down your arms as it falls, and places a sweet kiss to your hands. Pushing you onto the bed with a soft thud and climbing over top of you, he moves the hands that raise to cover yourself , grasping your wrists in one hand and cupping your cheek with the other, as he softly reassures you.

“Princesa, please don’t hide from me. I’ve waited for you for so long, and I want to worship every inch of you. I’m going to make you cry out my name, and show you just how perfect you are while you cum on my tongue. You will not say a single bad thing about mi amor, you understand?” he says lowly, so loving yet commanding.

“Yes, Hanta… I- I’ll be good for you, I promise.” you whine, praying your submission would please him.

The sound of his given name in that pleading tone has him painfully hard, but he’s too focused on hearing his name from your sweet lips again to care. You pull him down into a passionate kiss and roll your hips against his clothed cock when he laves down your neck and leaves love bites across your chest. He sucks your nipple into his warm mouth and rolls the other between his forefinger and thumb, earning a high pitched keen from you. He switches to give the same attention to the other side, tongue swirling around the peaked bud and relishing the way your chest heaves just from his mouth on your tits. ‘So needy… Fuck, how did I ever wait this long to see y/n like this and hear her sounds?’ Sero thinks to himself, so ready to watch your eyes roll back in your skull the minute you feel his cock fill you. The thought of you bouncing on his dick, watching you jiggle with his thrusts, letting him grip the fat on your hips and help you fuck yourself on him, feeling your lovely thighs straddle him, has him impatiently rutting into the mattress. He needs to taste you, leave marks all over your delicious tummy and thighs, and feel you coming undone beneath him. His large hands slide down your sides, rubbing back up under your breasts, gripping the extra flesh over your ribcage, the soft love handles on your sides, caressing the perfect pouch of your belly and settling on your hips. His mouth follows the path of his hands, kissing and licking every place you had deemed undesirable like they were the sexiest pieces of you, leaving dark hickeys on the front of your hips to remind you that all of these parts were now his to love.

“Lo siento, babygirl, pero no puedo esperar más, necesito mi lengua en ese bonita coño jodidamente ahora. Estas necesitan estar en el suelo ahora.” If his panting growl of Spanish didn’t already have your pussy gushing, his strong fingers ripping your panties and hoes off your body had you dripping onto the bed. Your shocked squeak turning into a moan when he parted your legs and nipped at the soft skin of your inner thigh, Sero is beyond delighted by feeling your beautiful thighs squishing against his face. If he could choose his end, it would undoubtedly be suffocating between this plush heaven. He snaked his arms under your parted thighs to hold your hips, squeezing and marveling at the feeling of your warm body protruding between his spread fingers, trying to fit as much of you in his grasp as he could and never getting enough. You’re just about to plead for him to touch you where you need him most when you lock eyes and hear the teasing lilt in his voice when he groans “Itadakimasu~” and flattens his tongue, licking a long, slow stripe up your slit.

“So wet for me, princesa, is this all for me? You’re so thoughtful to give me a meal so sweet.”

“Hantaaa, please. I want you, please don’t tease me, please touch me. I need- ah~”  

Your begging is interrupted by his tongue diving into your sex, lapping at your slick like a man starved. The moans coming from the man between your thighs were sinful; in this moment, Sero Hanta was no longer the friend you’d watched superhero movies with and silently crushed on for years- he was a man, a lover, all you’d ever wanted. Wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking the sensitive pearl into his mouth, he pulled one hand from your hip and slowly slipped two long fingers into your sopping heat. The callused pads from years of hero training now rubbing perfectly against your walls have you crying out for him and grasping his hair, begging him to go faster. He suddenly props himself up, bringing his palm up to grind against your clit and slowing his thrusts, wanting to hear you beg for him and watch your desperate facial expression.

“What is it you want, babygirl? C’mon, you’re going to have to use that pretty little mouth of yours. Tell me what you want, baby, use your words. I wanna hear you beg for me.” That normally dopey smile was replaced with a lewd smirk, hungry and covered in your juices.

“H-Hanta, please please please. I need you, need your mouth. Please I wanna cum, please let me cum, I want you to fuck me! Please please pleaseeeee~” Hips bucking forward, sweat lightly covering your skin, hair splayed out, body covered in his marks, begging for him… Shit, he’d give you anything you asked for. Oh, he’ll give you what you need- don’t you worry.

“Good girl, such a good girl for me. I’ll make this pretty pussy cum. Hold onto me and just relax, princess.”

His lips returned to your clit, flicking his tongue and sucking lightly, and increased his pace. He curled his fingers just right, finding the spongy underside of your clit and he chuckles darkly to himself when your back arches, head falling back onto the pillows.

“There it is~, there we go, babygirl. Cum for me, just like this. I’ve got you, let go, cum on my fingers.”

It doesn’t take long after his mouth goes back to nursing on your clit and his fingers continuously hitting your g-spot for the coil in your belly to finally snap. You climax hard, eyes screwed shut and screaming out his name as his tongue works you through your high. Once you’ve come down, you open your eyes and see Sero sucking his fingers clean of your release and unbuckling his belt with the other hand. You sit up to kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue, and unbuttoning his pants. He grows impatient with your pace, shoving his pants and tight boxers down at once. ‘Fuck, his dick is pretty’ you think to yourself, marveling at the masterpiece before you. He’s long, maybe 8.5-9 inches, thick enough to stretch your walls so deliciously but not too thick to fit in your mouth, prominent vein running along the underside and leading from the neat crop of black hair to the leaking tip, begging for your tongue. You start to rise to your knees before being pushed back into the duvet, looking up at him in confusion.

“No, no, mi amor. As much as I want to see your beautiful lips wrapped around my cock, that’s gonna have to wait. I want to be inside you, I need to fuck you until all you can think about is me and how fucking beautiful I think you are.” His eyes are so sincere. He looks down at you with the most loving stare you’ve ever felt, so calm and safe in his presence. You’re lulled into submission, every doubtful argument you had died on your tongue, and a soft moan escaped your lips. He leans over you, bracing himself on an elbow with his hand on your jaw to keep your eyes fixated on him. The other hand wraps around the base of his cock and teases the head along your slit, pressing on your clit just enough to have you squirming, trying to impale yourself.

“So needy for me, so wet. You’re so perfect, babygirl, I wouldn’t want to go too fast now. I want to savor every inch, feel you stretch around me while I watch those e/c eyes roll back in pleasure.” He holds back from thrusting into you when you whine in response, breathing heavy and struggling to get him inside. “Damn, baby, if you’re that desperate, why don’t you tell me exactly what you want? Beg for my cock, mi amor.”

“PLEASE, I need you inside me, please! I need your cock. Please fuck me, Papi~” You gasp out in succession, trying out the name you had once heard Kaminari teasing him about. It was a desperate attempt to get him to move, one your fucked-out brain decided was your best shot at getting him feral. And holy shit were you right. Sero fills you in an instant, hard length thrust to the hilt in your tight hole, causing you to cry out, eyes rolling back just as he promised.

“FUCK!” He’s losing restraint, driven mad by the filthy name coming from your angelic lips. The squeezing and fluttering of your walls is the only thing grounding him to Earth as he smirks down at you, baring his teeth while his other hand comes to wrap around your throat and apply light pressure to the sides. “Oh you know what you’re doing, don’t you? You have no idea how many times I imagined you calling me like that with these soft thighs wrapped around me; trust me, it’s nothing close to how sexy the real thing is. If you want to play dirty, princesa, don’t blame me when you can’t walk tomorrow.”

He backed up his statement with a few deep strokes that had your mouth falling open and eyes unfocusing, still unable to look away from the man about to wreck you. In a weak attempt to ground yourself, you reach up and place your hands on his back to feel the flexing of his muscles as he gave you slow, deep thrusts. Running your hands along his shoulders had your pussy clenching, and the groan pulled from his chest accompanying a harsh increase in his pace had your nails clawing at the corded muscles, causing him to put more force into fucking you into the mattress. A cycle of reactions, spurring the other on to continue and escalate.

“You feel so good, babygirl. S-So tight, you feel like you’re fucking made for me. I love you so much. I love everything about you. God, I fucking love your body- I love your curves, I love your legs wrapped around me, I love your sexy fucking thighs, I love your cute tummy- love how you feel pressed against me, I love running my fingers up your arms and kissing back down, I love gripping your hips when I hold you, I love watching you jiggle when you walk and bounce when I fuck you like this. You’re so fucking beautiful, so perfect for me.” Sero babbles out praises like he’ll die if he doesn’t get them out. You’re a blushing mess, knowing these words are completely true, tumbling out of his mouth unconsciously as he thinks them. “I love that expression, angel. Still so shy at my praises, even though I can feel you trying to milk my cock at every word. Such a good girl for me. Why don’t you tell me who makes this pretty pussy feel so good, huh? Say it, angel.”

“Hantaaa~ you feel so good. Please don’t stop!! I’m so close, please. I wanna cum, I wanna cum on your cock, please Papiiii~. You make me feel so good. I love you, I love you, I’m all yours. Please, I’m yours-ah~, I wanna be yours. I need you, I love you so much. Only you could make me feel like this-fuck- it’s only you. Please make me cum, Papi~” Your moans and pleas are getting louder and louder, chasing your impending climax. Every emotion flowing out of you, combined with the wonderful overstimulation, had tears rolling down your pudgy cheeks. You hadn’t yet realized you were crying when Sero leaned down to kiss and lick away the salty streams.

“Okay, princesa, I’ll give you what you need. How can I say no when you're being so good for me? Such a beautiful mess, all for me. So perfect. My good girl~” His right hand smoothes down your torso and settles between your thighs, rubbing tight circles on your clit. “Come on, babygirl. Papi’s got you, I’ll take good care of you. Cum for Papi. Cum on my cock.”

Your final orgasm has your back arched off the bed, eyes crossed, tongue lolling out, screaming out a string of “Hanta”, “Papi”, and “I love you”. Sero keeps his pace steady, fucking you through your climax and trying to prolong it as long as he can. The feeling of your doughy pussy clamping down around his cock like a vice, the gloriously wrecked ahegao face, and the sound of your cries as you creamed on his dick had him right on the edge of his own high. He started to pull out, not wanting to cross any boundaries, when he felt your legs pull him in even further. He looks back to your face; hazy, loving eyes drawing him in with that innocent look.

“Please cum inside me Papi, I want it! I’m yours, I want you. I want you to fill me up.” The permission to claim his longtime love and the aftershocks of your orgasm having you still pulsing around him finally push him over the edge. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, sucking and biting in a feeble attempt to muffle his moans of your name as his hips stuttered, thick ropes of cum warming your insides and painting your walls white. You feel so full and so content. Staying inside you, Sero rolls the two of you over to lay on his back, still holding your sweaty bodies together as he kisses your forehead and strokes your hair, telling you how good you did, how happy he was, how proud he was of you.

No one has ever made you feel so good, so wanted. Normally, your post-sex thoughts are plagued with insecurities, but instead all yoou can think about is Sero and how perfect this was. How beautiful he made you feel… and how you didn’t want it to end.

“H-Hey… Um… Sero?” you timidly get his attention.

“Y/n, I’m gonna need you to start calling me Hanta if we’re gonna be together. It’s a little weird to call your boyfriend by their family name, isn’t it?… Unless you wanna call me Papi, of course~” He says, his normal goofy grin and teasing tone returned.

“Wait… You- you really want to be with me? You don’t want me to keep it a secret? I will if you tell me to… I don’t want to embarrass you, I know I’m not exactly the ‘trophy wife’ the other heroes go for… I just really like you- um- actually, I’ve been in love with you for years now, and I just got really excited that you wanted me and-” Your nervous muttering is cut off with his lips softly pressed against yours, his hand moving to intertwine your fingers with his.

“Mi amor, I’ve been in love with you for just as long. You are my trophy, the greatest part of me. Every single thing I said is true, and I’ve thought those things for our entire friendship. If you think for a second that I won’t be walking around shirtless, showing off all of these marks to Kirishima and Kaminari, you don’t know me at all.” He winks at you and brings your hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss there. “Princesa, babygirl, mi corazón… Nunca te dejaré, yo nunca te dejaré salir, yo prometo. I am yours, and you are mine.”

“I love you, Hanta.”

“I love you, too, y/n.”

You fall asleep on his chest to the calming rhythm of his heartbeat and steady breathing. Upon waking up, you assume you had just dreamed the entire affair, chalking it up to your vivid imagination and drinks at the ball. That is, until you realize you’re trapped in a tangle of limbs with Hanta, leg hiked over his body and arms encompassing each other. You try to shift slightly to see his sleeping face, but he stirs and rolls over on top of you with a groan. The jolt of his muscles jerking awake told you he also thought he had dreamed the entire thing, believing that the prospect of your mutual pining actually coming to fruition was too good to be true.

“Good morning, angel. I’m so glad you’re real… And that you’re all mine.” Sero softly sighs, voice rough from sleep, nuzzling his face into your chest and squeezing your soft midsection to hold you closer.

“Good morning, love. I’m so so happy, but there’s one thing…” You say, trying to hold back your giggles.

“What is it, baby? Is something wrong? What did I do?” Sero starts thinking of every possible scenario as you soothe his thoughts with a cheeky smile.

“I- um… I think I need you to carry me to the shower, you weren’t lying when you said I wouldn’t be able to walk in the morning.” Both of you erupt in a fit of laughter. He scoops you up in his arms and carries you to the shower, so content in finally having his girl.

___________________________________________________________

A/N: WHEW okay… I’m actually really proud of this, and I hope you guys like it. The Latin Sero headcanon hits me so hard and I just absolutely simp for this sweet tape boy. Huge thank you to @reinawritesbnha for inspiring me to write this matchup, @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten for encouraging me and giving me the courage to post, and my dear, sweet Sage for reading it to make sure I don’t embarrass myself and inspiring me to write in the first place. <3

[house-of-slayterr]

Time for The Dark Knight.

Before Thoughts:

So you guys already know how I felt about Batman Begins but I had no idea what to expect going into that one. However, the Dark Knight is my film teachers favorite movie to the point where he named his kid after Bruce Wayne, so I have high expectations.

Like I said in my last review, I did not Dislike Christian Bales portrayal, and I’m sure it only gets better. I headcannon him and most other Bruce’s as at the very least, neurodivergent. Though I must admit every time Bruce puts on his “Bruce Wayne” person I can help but think of Christian playing Patrick Batman. Imagine how funny it would be. I suppose that’s what a yandere Batman would look like 😂

So my thoughts… JOKER BABY!!! I’m excited to see what the hype is about. I think we also get Cat Woman… so im gonna watch this movie and I’ll be right back.

After Movie Rant:

This time, we’ll start with the good. If Lucius fucking Fox doesn’t put a ring on my finger right fucking now… I swear to Gotham. Like I’ve never been attracted to Morgan Freeman before but god Damn. This man gets more fine every movie. He’s just a good sidekick, and I like that he doesn’t feel the need to leave his comfort zone. Man is good at what he does and he knows it!

There isn’t anything more that needs to be said about Alfred. That man is a saint and I love him with my entire soul.

Rachel actually improved in this movie. Still hate her guts and wish she splattered on the cement when Joker through her out a window, but no matter. The change in actresses was a good choice on there end. I’m not sure why they did it and I don’t much care. I’m just glad she was less annoying in this I guess. I legit think my favourite part of the movie was Joker just throwing her out a window.

Now let’s talk opening scenes. I can’t even remember Batman Begins opening if I’m being honest. But this bank heist was cool af. I love a good armed robbery scene, and I happen to have a specific love for clowns. You combine the two and it’s a match made in fucking heaven. It’s established Joker’a personality so well, with little effort. It wasn’t suspenseful but I don’t think it had to be. I mean he’s the Clown Prince of Crime for fuck sakes, and to watch him commit something as simple as a robbery is so amusing. 

And omg seeing the fucking Pencil scene in context. I’ve been quoting that part of the movie for years because it’s one of the only clips I’ve ever seen of Health Ledger’s Joker. Like Joker’s like delivery is so spectacular. God would I love to sit in a room with him in Arkham and just talk for hours. I bet this man has so much to say, and I wouldn’t even care if half of it was bullshit. 

Now as someone who’s been abused and manipulated all my life, I can see very quickly how Harleen could fall for a man like this. Now I understand she is not in this movie, but I would love to see a Harley interact with this Joker. He’s just the right amount of unhinged and unpredictable and it’s a huge adrenaline rush. All of Heath’s improvised parts in this movie, where the best parts of the movie. This man really gave the Joker his all and I adore that about him. He truly was special and will be missed dearly.

Gary Motherfucking Oldman. Now I hate Jim Gordon, and Gary is not a good person. But god damn it is this man pretty. I can’t help but fall in love with every character this man plays. His Jim is just kinda there. He’s much more tame than the Jim in Gotham tv series that I’m used to. But he’s also less annoying. He seems to just be a man fighting for his city and I really enjoy the slow pace for his character.

I’d just like to shout out to all the special effects and makeup people in this movie. The work they did on Harvey Dent was fucking spectacular. And over all the movies look was just amazing. The colour scheme, the mood, every fucking outfit was just 300/10. The little guys are what made this movie worth it in my eyes.

Batman seems to get better at balancing his double life in this. His Bruce Wayne seemed more fleshed out, and his willingness to give himself up really fits his character well. He knows The Bat is a symbol, and knows that if he dies, someone else will try to fill the void. He doesn’t really see himself as a person first. As Bruce Wayne, he thinks of himself as disposable, which is sad, but very on brand.

My last Win, David Dastmalchian!!! I’ve become obsessed with this man since watching The Suicide Squad and now I love seeing him in anything. This man is so fine and for why? I could get lost in his eyes for days.

Now to things I didn’t like…

Again, why the fuck did my boy Crow only exist for a millisecond? Like give me a fucking scarecrow movie please. Stop teasing me, this isn’t fair and I did not consent to this edging. Free my man’s, let him mess around in Arkham a little longer. Give me backstory, give me literally anything!

Harvey Dent was a let down. I don’t know what it is but I felt no connection with this man which is kind of disappointing. I love the idea of Two face, but he seemed so rushed. Again, I understand it’s a movie, they only have so long, but I wish they stopped trying to cram 5 plots into 2.5 hours. It’s not working in their favour. I think I’m just sick of white men in power. Like Bruce gets away with it cause I’m a big old softie. But something about Harvey doesn’t sit right with me and I can’t pin point it.

Like the first coin scene felt so forced. I don’t know how he would have planed to go home to Rachel after killing a mentally I’ll man. Side note, him and Rachel make so much sense together. Like they are both the most boring Défense Attorneys to ever exist. They deserved each other. Now I’m not gonna say Dent isn’t fun, I’m just not a fan of this one in particular. At least not yet. After all he makes a much better villain then he ever did a ‘hero’. But his and Rachel’s love confessions never annoyed me a lot. Like Lady, you don’t know how long you have left to live, just say what you have to fucking say. I’m just glad she’s gone now. I’m not here for mushy gushy bullshit anyways.

Can we just talk about how lame his villain into is. Like the reveal was fun I guess, but like his injuries looked as expected. Like he just looked at Jim and was like “what is it you used to call me?” “Say it, say it!” Like ok edward Cullen, calm your fucking tits. I get your mad that your lady friend got blown sky hi, but no need for the theatrics 😂 I couldn’t take him seriously and I’m not sure if I was meant to. So I can’t really fault it, I just also can’t ignore that scene because it was too fucking funny.

And don’t even get me started on Harvey’s little stunt at the end. This Candy ass pussy baby needs to be put down. “Oh booo hooo, I lost Rachel.” Grow the fuck up you fucking dumb bitch. You both should have fucking died and then maybe the rest of us could be happy. Imagine killing a kid because a cop couldn’t stop and explosive. What did he want Gordon to do, absorb the blast with his none existant super powers? Imagine blaming everyone but yourself for your own emotional vulnerability making you uncomfortable. Go to fucking therapy dude.

They keep calling him “the best of us” but they didn’t fucking show it. There is nothing spectacular or remarkable about Harvey dent. He’s just every other bloke with a pretty face, and his hand in the law. Like tell me, where was this man ever even good? He was just mediocre and then he sucked and that’s his legacy. I’m annoyed by his character development so much.

Maroni was annoying, just like Falcone was in the last movie. These mob bosses are lame, and my heart lies with the Gotham TV series actors. They made them feel homie, and real, like Mafia bosses are supposed to be. The ones in these two movies were just cold, cowards with no personality. Give me a man who sees his people as family, not just goons, then we can talk. Until then, they don’t exist to me.

Despite my ranting, this movie had a lot more good going for it than it did bad. It was genuinely enjoyable and engaging. I would watch it again. I can’t wait to see the last one in this trilogy because I know we get Bane. And I adore Bane so very much. Let me know what you all think? I’m probably being way to harsh on Rachel but she’s so much fun to hate 😂

My final rating, 8.5/10. Should have had killed Rachel sooner, should have shown a bit more into Harvey’s character to make his transformation believable. And just quit with the background mob bullshit, just give me random street criminal numbers 202615 and call it a day.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #7

suicide squad. the first one, which like this poster, had far too much jared leto in it. basically i only watched this one because i wanted to watch the next one, even though i’d heard the only good parts of this one were will smith and margot robbie. and since my best friend wanted to see it, too, i knew we could complain our way through it so it wouldn’t be that bad.

it...actually wasn’t that bad? or at least, i was expecting much worse considering how many people seemed to hate it. yes, jared leto is a terrible joker and makes me feel defensive of the character’s legacy even though he’s not a character i care about that much. yes, birds of prey is the far superior incarnation of harley quinn and the whole movie felt racist and misogynistic as fuck. 

it wasn’t in any way my favorite DC movie, but it also could’ve been worse. we did manage to watch all of it, for example. and deadshot and harley quinn really were good! i so badly want a whole movie of just them.

david harbour was also a nice surprise. as my current living Bipolar Hero i adore him and keep coming across him in little bit roles and thinking, you’ve been doing better for yourself careerwise than i realized! obviously he’d made his way into the MCU, i was happy for him about that, but i didn’t know until recent movie nights that he was also in this and one of the james bond movies years ago.

as for the plot of this one? they really threw too many characters together to give any of them the attention they deserved, which wouldn’t have mattered except they kept bringing up tiny slices of their backstories and leaving the rest unanswered. i went so far as to look up one of the squad’s comic history, trying to understand what was happening, only to learn that his character’s movie plot wasn’t related to any comic version of him--so they recreated his backstory for the movie and saw no need to further fill it in! frustrating.

i found the whole backfiring idea of ‘how to counter a new threat’ by a secretive government agency believable enough though. but the tie in moments to batman, even though they were small, just annoyed me. like, an unreasonable amount. i think it’s because i don’t love the MCU, so i wish the DC movies didn’t need to try and also be an interconnected universe--birds of prey was beyond that! which is why it’s my fave! ben affleck wouldn’t have made an ounce of sense showing his face there, and that’s as it should be.

this may be the first movie i’ve ever come across that had a bad soundtrack that was bad because the songs were good. like, most of its songs were ones that i love, or at least nostalgically enjoy...but pretty much none of them fit the moments/scenes they were used in, and they weren’t ‘a jarring contrast to set a tone’ or anything either. they were just songs that felt wrong and it didn’t seem like the movie knew that.

i feel like the death rate was much lower than i expected given the plot and the world it’s set in--for the squad, i mean. the death rate for civilians was so high! poor gotham. 

overall i’m glad i watched it but don’t need to again, and i like knowing who the villains are, since i got gifted the lego dc villains game and barely knew who any of them were before. i’m really excited for peacemaker and the suicide squad so this was worth watching to get me there. 

[writing-for-me-at-this-point]

ii. Fun Facts About The Cast | Actor Au | Obey Me

Request: Its not, I love this AU tho

Word Count: 2303 words

Page Count: 6.5 pages

A.N. Hope you guys all like this! Fun facts about the cast lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Fun Facts

Benjamin ( Lucifer )

- Is the dad of the cast.

- In any scenes with Dmitri ( Luke ), he makes sure to know if he is alright, and often will stop scenes to ask.

- He also is an overall joker, so he has trouble filming most of his scenes, will often start laughing in the middle of filming and can break character the easiest.

- Best with kids overall, probably due to having his own, keeps their lives private tho.

- His hair was white for a past show, but the directors liked the look, so that's why he has white tips.

- One of the few male characters who cannot do those diets to accentuate his abs- so that's why his character is always covered up.

- He's in shape! But, he likes the fat that protects his muscle, he says he needs to stay soft to hug his kids.

- Known diabetic, so there's a table full of foods so his sugars are stable, the cast has glucagon shots all over the sets to be safe.

- Is in his early thirties, but people say he can pull off early twenties- he just snorts at this.

Avery ( Mammon ) 

- Takes the job seriously, and his scenes are easiest to film.

- Dark humor and often is the "Lucifer" of the cast.

- Seeing him switch from Avery to Mammon leaves the rest of the cast and crew fucking s h o o k.

- Will always be seen looking his finest.

- No, no one has seen him in public in sweatpants or anything like that. His image is very serious.

- Is a sweetheart when with the rest of the cast tho.

- His eyes are actually that blue.

- No one is sure if his hair is actually white or not, the way he speaks about it is vague, and fans are always theorizing.

- Watching over Benji ( Lucifer ), and is usually the one to tell him to check his sugars, since the other is quite forgetful.

- Is an immigrant from Turkey, so he has an accent, makes people thirst for him more.

- Helps aspiring actors and directors get into the field, and goes on hard work and talent, not who tries to pay him off.

Jackson ( Leviathan )

- Is the resident fuckboi.

- Always with males and females hanging off him, at this point the pop gave up, no- they aren't his partner.

- Flexes a shit ton.

- Wearing chains, a Rolex, and anything designer.

- Donates half of his salary to ocean reserves and protection funds, he has the money for it, and the show pays him well.

- Always at the beach, or near lake houses and shit, the one ( 1 ) thing he likes about his character.

- Hates the fringe he wears with a passion.

- His hair is actually a light shade of brown, his eyes are a darker shade, but still pretty light.

- First generation, his parents are Korean, so you can pick up hints of their accent in his speech patterns. Gets heavy when he's sleepy. 

Ross ( Satan )

- Is a stoner.

- Goes on Instagram lives with either MC and gets high, talking about the dumbest shit or he's alone in his room and his cats join in.

- "So, if you think about- oH MY GOD PRINCESS. YES, COME TO DADDY."

- Has a kitten curled up on him, purrs loud as hell because mf is so warm, and the lives turn into purring ASMR sessions.

- Into self care, has a line of vitamins, face masks, and everything you can think of.

- Calls his fans his SaStans.

- Dmitri ( Luke ) is his younger brother.

- Will never let him out of his sight, and they love to be as mean as they can to each other, they love each other but love to bully one another.

- Is from the Bronx, so his accent is what Avery ( Mammon ) mimics for his character, often just records Avery's lines and sends them to him so he can practice.

- Owns an animal shelter he funds.

- "Carol Baskin? Who's that?"

- The REAL tiger king.

- Gets all his cats dyed to look like tigers.

Micheal ( Asmodeus )

- Chill as fuck.

- Has like 5+ kids, so the role fits him perfectly, and now it's an on running joke among fans that they are all his illegitimate children.

- You know why Asmodeus on the show wears so much makeup? 

- His eldest daughter is one of the makeup artists, and she loves to try new looks on him, and the producers think it would fit the character well.

- People speculate his age, looks young but is in his late 30's.

- His first child was born when he was 16, so he likes to support safe heavens and things like that for struggling youths- from being kicked out to needing assistance with mental health.

- Tired af.

- Always in sweatpants, him and Ross ( Satan ) are the trademark bums of the cast.

- Thinks it would be hilarious that when Micheal is revealed, in the show, that he plays the character.

- Is a writer as well, TSL is a real series and he writes it, so they let him use it in the show.

- Vlogs in his car, in a Wendy's parking lot, eating a shit ton of food and talking about the most random shit.

- Half asleep in all interviews, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, it's gotten to the point where everyone memes it too.

James ( Beelzebub )

- Himbo.

- One of the few cast members closest to their character.

- Absolute sweetheart.

- He's 20 years old.

- But how is he so fucking big???

- Comes from a big ass family, the middle child, he's baby 4 out of 9.

- All his siblings are redheads too.

- Very playful tho, with the cast always going along with his antics, making for the best bloopers.

- The contacts he wears make him blind af, which doesn't help since he's so tall, and will bump his head on the doorways and such.

- Can speak Scottish-Gaelic, and even has an accent to top it off.

- He is an absolute unit, and one of the characters who does the stupid diet to show off his form.

- Literally on the verge of passing out sometimes, so he needs to rest with Benjamin ( Lucifer ).

- All pictures, shirtless scenes, and such are filmed first so he can rest after and go back to a normal diet.

- Quiet guy, but loves talking about sports and his siblings tho.

- Is always carrying MC and Dmitri ( Luke ) around, now there are many off-guard photos posted to the casts shared twitter+instagram accounts

- Still pretty new to acting, but is amazing at emotional scenes, to the point fans actually think he's having a breakdown.

- Nah, he's just thinking about being alone, without his family- and it gets him bawling for said scenes.

Conner ( Belphegor )

- Crackhead 

- Will not stay still, either for filming or just when everyone is chilling.

- Scenes where he's asleep? He's usually turned away from the camera, cause the idiot is smiling and giggling.

- Has tripped over his tail multiple times.

- Comes from a farm-life, literal cowboy, his southern accent just hits hard.

- He hides it very well, but it comes out at times or with certain words.

- Sees Benjamin ( Lucifer ) as a mentor, he's in his early twenties and new to the scene, but they are best friends.

- Benjamin ( Lucifer ) has now acquired a new child.

- A living meme.

- You know how Tom Holland can't keep a secret?

- Yeah, he's worse.

- Rest of the cast have all had to physically stop him from talking at one point.

- The cow pillow? It's actually his, when he got the role his father has sewn it himself, so he will bring it with him.

- It's basically free promo for the show and comforts him in the city space.

- Gets overwhelmed in large crowds, so he usually makes sure to have another cast member close by, or he will literally leave to a less crowded place to take a breath.

- Apologized to MC after the scene in which he kills them.

- His mama raised him right, so he takes MC to his house for a movie, in which they cuddle and relax for the night.

- Felt really bad for like... a whole week.

- "Country boy I love you~"

Thomas ( Barbatos )

- Brat.

- This is one cocky man, he's smooth as hell, and one whisper can make you weak in the knees.

- Grew out the one side of his hair, but he slicks his hair back or will pin it back, dyes it himself when it's time to film.

- Loves to piss Alex ( Simeon ) off.

- Has a true crime podcast with Roman ( Diavolo ), Alex ( Simeon ), and Benjamin ( Lucifer ), because they're all old friends.

- Donates to the cold case foundation because he knows what it's like to lose someone and not know what happened to them.

- He has a twin who is his stunt double, they love to fuck with the rest of the cast, both of them are little shits.

- Is the motherfucker who makes a channel and reads the crackhead fanfics

- Loves every word of it tho.

- Responds to every fans dms. Every. One. As a whole account for this shit.

- Walks with a bit of a limp, so he wears a brace to help even himself, but during wide-shot scenes you can catch it sometimes.

- Took actual classes to be a butler for the role.

Roman ( Diavolo )

- Himbo 2.0

- Catch this man tweeting what he's trying to search up at 2 in the morning.

- Leaves them because it's hilarious, makes videos where he reads them out sometimes, it's all in good fun.

- He has a set of triplets at home, so that dad energy radiates into the show too.

- You know how Diavolo seems sus at points of the game? Yeah, he's still like that IRL.

- The rest of the cast was put off at first, but that's how he is, and everyone eased up pretty quickly.

- Makes jokes that he has family in the Italian mob, but needed to stop once his father called him, saying that there were too many eyes on the family now.

- Man was s h o o k.

- Has sensitive skin, so all his makeup and body paints need to be specially made, made with all natural products.

- The bags under his eyes are baby bags.

- Will bring his kids on set, to which everyone will gush over, and watch them when they aren't filming.

- Very private with his kids ( to the public ), doesn't post about them much, and only the cast really sees them.

- Wine dad.

- Catch him bringing the whole cast out for "family trips"

- People nicknamed him Caesar

- So many JoJo references now

- "SHHHHIIIIIZZZAAAAAAAA"

- "Please, no."

Dmitri ( Luke )

- Is actually 12.

- Quotes vines, tiktoks, and other memes.

- Is one of the few people that Alex ( Simeon ) is openly nice too.

- Also has an accent, but since he's young and is learning, can now mimic every other cast member's accent.

- Wear earplugs for certain scenes, because of how raunchy and dark the scenes can get, so Simeon and Barbatos are always conveniently in the way, hiding the plugs.

- Is Ross' ( Satan ) younger brother, and if he isn't hanging off of him he's with James ( Beelzebub ), Benjamin ( Lucifer ), or MC.

- They know there are some sick fucks in Hollywood so he has an adult with him at all times.

- Posts pictures of him cuddling up to his brother and the kittens, new foods he is trying, and some pictures with family.

- He often is considered the new Gordon Ramsay.

- Had a collaboration with him.

- It was amazing.

- Best boy, catch him taking a nap in his ( and Ross' ) trailer, surrounded by tiger kittens.

- The TIGER PRINCE.

Alex ( Simeon )

- Avatar of wrath who?

- The embodiment of "No talk me, I angy"

- Jkjk, though he does have a temper, he only loses it with Benjamin ( Lucifer ), Roman ( Diavolo ), and Thomas ( Barbatos ).

- A sweetheart with all children though, like you know Simeon on the show? 

- Yeah, he's only like that with kids.

- And respectable adults.

- Mama raised him well 2.0

- Grew up in NY

- Born in Gucci and Balenciaga.

- Was a child model and slowly expanded to acting.

- Dark humor galore.

- If Simeon met Alex, he'd probably have a stroke, cause THOSE WORDS are coming out of HIS mouth.

- Says the weirdest shit too.

- "Put your hand on my ass and call me a virgin."

- Bro are you okay???

- He is fluent in five languages and has a high IQ.

- Speaks: English, French, Italian, Arabic, and Mandarin

- Has a support system for children who struggle to learn conventionally, with trained tutors who are affordable, he knows what it's like to need certain needs met to learn, and he wants every kid to get that chance.

- Rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

Derek ( Solomon )

- Loves to smoke with Ross ( Satan )

- He is more aloof than chill.

- One of the more awkward members, doesn't know how to socialize well, and is very shy.

- Watch out for Dmitri ( Luke ) on the down low.

- Didn't have the best life growing up, so he is a lot more street smart than book smart.

- Doesn't have a big social media influence.

- Very nice to fans, gives full hugs to them, and everyone feels so appreciated.

- Has a husky named Blue.

- Also has an owl, who he took in when he found it on his porch with a broken wing, and nursed it to health.

- He set it free, but she comes back often, and has a nest in the tree closest to his house.

- Named her Lovely.

- Animal person, so he helps Ross out with his animal shelters.

- Uses Blue as a living pillow, and only sleeps in his boxers when Blue is on his bed, because goddamn does that dog radiate heat.

- Him and MC live together, having grown up together, and made their livings together. 

[mrsmaybankhere]

Zorro

i don’t have an explication for this...i just...idk enjoyed very much while writing it!!

hope you like it and lmk your opinions on it!! i love youu xx

**NOT MY GIF, CREDITS TO THE OWNER**

Words: over 2.4k

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (use protection guys!!), oral sex (male receiving), roleplay sex (i think??), dirty talking, mentions of alcohol and weed.

sorry for any mistakes❤️

Keggers at the Boneyard are the best thing ever and tourons adore them just as much as you do. But when you are a Pogue and when you and your friends always organise them, at some point things become boring and odd. Going to the same party three times a week is already a routine for you and you hate this. You all love spontaneity so to spice things up a little bit you, Sarah and Kie came with an amazing idea: themed parties. The boys were all for it, so once a week you would have a themed party and because all of you love Halloween just as much as Christmas a costumes party is more than welcomed for the first one.

And instantly you though that you and JJ would have the best matching costumes like the ones you always see at celebrities on Halloween. The low budget type, but still matching. But your dearest boyfriend had another idea and decided that everyone should keep the secret until the night of the party and it was a exciting one, but you also hated it because you didn't know what to expect from him.

So because Addams Family is one of your favourite, you chose Morticia. You wanted to shock JJ and everyone else and when you watched yourself in the full mirror, you knew that your appearance would shock everyone because you looked so different from yourself. And that's exactly what you wanted in the first place.

You tanned skin is now covered by a white foundation, making you pale just like you need. You straightened up your black long hair and you used a red lipstick from Sarah's makeup collection. Some really dark contour helped you to emphasize your features a lot more than you were used to, but that was the point to a costumes party: going out of your confort zone and trying crazy things. You also borrowed a black long lace dress from Rose, you and Sarah hoping that she won't notice and you looked exactly from the story.

The three of you laughed your asses off while getting ready at Sarah's place and even Rafe seemed impressed by your costumes ideas; he's dressed up as Joker, despite Sarah trying to convince him to change it because she was dressed up as Harley Quinn and the role was indeed perfect for her. And Kiara looked stunning and in her own element dressed as Wonder Woman. They looked wonderful and you kept reminding them that, while they did the same with you and insisted that JJ would be amazed by your presence.

And indeed he was.

Just as much as you were by seeing him with a black cape and a black mask around his eyes, only letting you see his beautiful icy blue eyes. "Fuck" you muttered under your breath and you bit so hard on your tongue that you tasted blood in your suddenly very dry mouth.

"Close your mouth, baby. Don't open it yet." JJ whispers in your ear and his warm breath in your ear send shivers down your spine and your whole body. And he knows it.

You and JJ couldn't keep your eyes off each other for the rest of the party and he would sent your whole body in fire only by touching your waist or looking into your eyes with that stupid sexy mask on. He looks absolutely ravishing and you never wanted to suck him off as bad as you want it now.

So after some good weed and a lot of booze, all of you are shitfaced and dacing like crazy with your toes in the sand, not giving a damn about anything around you while the sun is almost up on the sky. You find support on your boyfriend, leaning against him while he was talking -more like screaming- with John B and Pope. John B had a Michael Myers mask on and Pope was dressed up as a crazy surgeon from a horror movie he saw with JJ and that's why they are laughing so bad right now. And because they are high too.

"JJ..." You speak while laughing too and you don't even know why, but that's not catching your boyfriend's attention, so you think about something else and you try again. "Zorro, baby!"

JJ thought that he didn't hear you right, but when you repeated the same thing he could feel himself getting a painful boner and he's too high and horny to try to hide it. He spins you around, pressing your back against his toned chest and your ass right against the hard bulge that's already forming into his pants. You gasp so hard for air that JJ had to place his ringed long fingers over your mouth, something you like it so much that is just turning you on even more and you are already soaked between your thighs.

"Let's go-..."

"Where?" In your drunken state you have to concentrate a little more to find any place that's close to the party and safe enough for a quickie. A little more than just a quickie.

"The Van." You quickly say as you press his lips against his, not kissing him as he wanted to just talking with your eyes locked with his. "I will be waiting for you, Zorro."

Your seductive whisper caught JJ off guard and his glare is not leaving your body while you are slowly walking to the Van, not looking back at him or at anyone else around, knowing that if you would do that you would lost all your confidence that you just gained with a little help from weed and alcohol. You open the doors and you quickly get lost at the thoughts off JJ and that mask, him fucking the shit outta you while wearing that is driving you wild.

"You said you needed me, Miss?" You are pretty sure that he never read the book, but he loves movies so his reply was quite accurate to the character, so much that it made you laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hungry sloppy kiss. With one hand he closes the Van door and the other one is already tangled in your long hair he loved so much.

"You look so fuckin' hot dressed up like this." He groans into your mouth, not breaking up the kiss as he's hungrily sucking and bitting on your neck and collar bone.

You take his cape off and he helps you with his shirt, you taking advantage of that to place some open mouth kisses and bites on his abs. You look up at him as you unbutton his pants, already drooling at the though of tasting him and having him all over in your mouth. You press some kisses on his V line, already palming him and you do nothing but smile at his sweet raspy groans.

"I love that mask. Don't take it off." You're voice is sternly and JJ found himself liking it, but he's never gonna admit it in your pretty face.

"Only if you call me Zorro when you cum." His smirk when you place a soft kiss on the head of his cock, licking the little bit of precum and a pulsing vein is quickly replaced by a frown and a raspy moan that makes you moan as well. His fingers are on your hair again, pulling on it to make you take him into your mouth and you don't even think twice when you moan at the taste of his warm big cock.

"You like it, huh? So take it all if you like it that much." JJ's dirty talking and the mask around his eyes are the best combination ever and you gulp down your moans as your hand is moving up and down his length, your eyes on his face as you are struggling to take all of his girth into your mouth.

His hands guides you further and he loves how your eyes are not leaving him, the innocent expression on your face and the smudged red lipstick on your mouth pleasure him more than you even know. His thrusts are deep now, your throat constricting as he forces the tip of his cock to meet your gag reflex. His moans are now louder as you keep sucking on his length, not really giving you the chance to breathe properly as your head bobbed up and down while watching him. You always though it was disgusting, but he totally loves to see your smudged lipstick, some spit or cum on your chin and tears running down on your cheeks along with your mascara. You are always gorgeous to him, including in moments like these.

He rough pushes his hips into you again, his hands pulling harder on your hair, so hard that you can already feel a little bit of pain in your scalp. But the worst pain was the needing, the aching for him and his touches and you think of that while you can barely breath with his cock down your sore throat. He reaches his orgasm with a loud moan and you smile right before you're cheeks are full of his warmly cum. You watch him in awe, being proud of yourself with your lips red, swollen and full of saliva, even dripping down on your chin but you didn't care.

"You're such a good girl, [Y/N]...You're my best girl, my only one." With his thumb he wipes off the corner of your mouth and he pushes you on the bench and your lips found each other again into a deep hungry kiss. And that's exactly how you are: hungry and thirsty for each other.

You don't even know when and how he takes your dress off and tonight you didn't even wore a bra because it was already hot enough in that dress and that made JJ smirk as his tongue is slowly circling around your hard nipple. The action makes you moan like crazy, but it's too soft for what you need now.

"J-..."

"How did you called me, [Y/N]?" He raises a eyebrow towards you, his other hand pushing down your lace bikini. He adores how much attention you pay to little things like this.

"Zorro, please." You quickly talk as you realized your mistake. "Please, I need you. I want you, Zorro."

You thought that after so many moments like these he would get bored of hearing you begging for him, but it's impossible. Seeing you with your makeup all smudged on your face, spit and his cum on your chin and big eyes, imploring him to fuck you bad it's the best thing he ever had in front of his eyes. In fact, you are that best thing he ever had.

"I love you, Zorro. Please."

"I love you too, Morticia." His seems amused and you would laugh too, but you are too horny and needy right now to be able to think about anything else beside him inside of you. He is the only thing and the only person in your mind.

He spreads your legs open even more and his thumb is slowly circling around you sensitive clit, only to tease you even more before finally give you what you both want so fucking bad.

"Fuck, please! I can't wait any-..." Your moans and screams are so loud that you are sure that anyone that's close to the Van can hear it , but you don't care about this right now.

You don't even have the time to finish your sentence because of him slipping inside of you, his fingernails sunking into your breasts and hips as yours are already digging into his back. You both leave marks on each other and you both enjoy having them all over your skin, JJ loving the idea that everyone can see that you are his and only his. Especially stupid tourons who thinks they stand a single chance with you.

"You are so tight, princess. Only for me. Right?" His lower voice is sending you insane and you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

"Fuck yes! Only for you Zorro!" You scream in pleasure, arching your back to press your bodies together and meet his lips for another rough deep kiss. Right from the start his thrusts are deep and hard, with each one sending you right to the edge.

He loves so much to tease you more than this, but at this point its hard for him too and he thrusted his hips against yours, you moving towards him in your desperation for him. You large open your legs, allowing him to have more space above you as his mouth found yours again, forming together a full of passion mess. You both are out of air as you moan louder and louder, closer to your high to each deep thrust inside of you. You kiss his collar bone, his chest and his neck tasting his salty skin on your lips and biting hard on some spots on his tense neck.

"God, I'm close! I'm close, baby..." You scream again, making JJ grin beyond satisfied to see you like this. A total mess in the palms of his hands.

"I know, baby. Me too. I feel you." JJ moves faster and deeper inside of you, his mouth not leaving yours not even a second, you both swallowing each other's sweet moans. "Cum, baby. Cum all around me."

That was the sign you waited for. You are screaming in pleasure and biting on his chest, JJ moaning as you reached your highest point in the same time.

"I love you! I love you so bad!" You scream while finishing, riding your high and seeing stars above your head. That's how good it was.

"Who? Who do you love?" He asks, his breath all over the place as he looks amazed at you.

"You, JJ. Only you, baby."

That's what he wanted to hear.

That's what he needed to hear. Not Zorro, not anything else. Just his name. And as a response, he places a soft kiss on the tip of your nose and on your lips.

"I love you, princess. I love you so fucking much."

In the next second he collapsed next to you on the tight bench in the back of the Van and you touch his cheek and the mask with your fingers, looking at him with a soft smile on your lips. He is prompting himself up on his elbow, running a hand through his blond damp hair while looking at you with an amused grin.

"Now can I take this shit off? It's so fucking hot in here, Morticia."

[delusionland]

STEPHCASS FOR THE MEME <3

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

here is my personal hc. tim told cass about a girl. he didn’t tell her anything about the girl, just that she was woefully unprepared to be a crimefighter... but also she was kinda cute, in a totally naive way (90s tim was kind of an asshole, never forget). cass couldn’t quite understand what he was saying while he showed her the batfile on her---the picture of the spoiler, etc. but she got his general tone and body language. cass then sought steph out. for nights. nights looking for the spoiler. when she found her---she tackled her, immediately engaged her in a fight. she went so, so easy on her. she just wanted to see what a cute girl was. and steph... was definitely a cute girl. at the time, cass couldn’t talk, couldn’t communicate with her. but she left her a gift. a nice knife that she had throw at her head---deliberately missing it, that was... especially ornate, and seemed shiny and valuable, and most of all purple to match her costume. pretty purple girls like pretty purple things, right?

What was their first impression of each other?

steph probably did not think well of cass, at first. after that first outing---the batfamily got involved. cass was to help steph with her fighting. steph was to help cass with her speech. without the mask on---steph could see how much cass enjoyed her company. it was hard not to realize she had a sense of humor about everything. the laughter she had exhibited on a still-baby-at-the-time spoiler screaming her head off about what she thought was some kind of demon-ninja batgirl was... genuine, and not malicious in the slightest. she seemed to want to be friends, and every time steph frowned at her, or was a sore loser, cass simply smiled and laughed harder, finding everything steph did perfectly amusing. as they got to know each other---cass got better at talking, and steph got better at fighting, and they kind of, met somewhere on the outer edges of the middle for a while. there was always something standing between them--though. a resentment, not between them, but a misunderstanding. that cass belonged to bruce and the bat. and steph belonged to tim.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

i feel like conner kent at the very least shipped it. alfred really thought there was a spark between them, and during their brief frenemy stage---alfred made sure steph knew cass genuinely cared for her. bruce did NOT want them to get together at all, though. neither did tim, for obvious reasons.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

cass. it was love the first time steph managed to punch herin the face. did she win? no. but she GOT her. and through that tenacity, cass realized that her friend was so much more than a silly, pretty girl. she was a fighter. she was a champion. and more than anything, she was brave, and determined, and they had practiced a thousand times for just this moment. and afterwards, steph was just so proud of her overall failure instead of being herr typical loser.... cass couldnt help but know steph was always going to be the love of her life.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

they both did! didn’t want to ruin the friendship!

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

cass would get a curious look, steph wouldn’t believe you!

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

they would be a lot worse, a lot lonelier. steph never would’ve become batgirl, that’s for sure, and cass would’ve learned to speak---but in a way entirely removed from her own personality and love of herself & life.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

it was a mutual thing in ocean city, maryland. they were in a photo booth, sitting in eachother’s laps, leg over leg, they did a silly face, and then another silly face, and then their faces were so close---and then SMOOCH CITY, and they WOULD NOT LEAVE THE BOOTH lol.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

they considered ocean city their first date. but they’re not really the ‘dating’ types. they both LOVE to fight. they both LOVE to crime fight. they both LOVE spending time together doing NOTHING. if anything, the first time cass had to go to a gala with her was the first time they realized---ugh, do we REALLY have to be WAYNES? do we really have to have REAL LIVES? why can’t we stay in our cuddle - asskicking bubble forever?

What was their first kiss like?

it was the most natural possible thing, and it was something they had both almost had so many times before that it was like drowning in sensation after you had subsisted off of gerbil-cage drips of water for years. they couldn’t stop! they were consumed with want, and they only stopped when they started to get a little TOO frisky and somebody moved the curtain of the booth because they wanted to get their own picture taken and they were like ‘fuck! okay lets get french fries!’ lol

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

steph is cass’s first gf, and vice versa.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

cass is 5′7″ JUST tall enough to be taller than her gf >: )

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

cass will kill the puzzler or whatever the fuck his name is. he sucks. steph’s mom loves her tho :’ ) and well. the less said about bruce and steph the better, but like. your whole blog is proof of how much the rest of the batfam loves steph!

Who takes the lead in social situations?

they both are the ‘HAHA! THE ECONOMY!’ gif tbh.

Who gets jealous easier?

cass. steph is special cargo, the first girl / person she ever loved romantically, the first friend she ever had. however, cass has made it very publically known she wants threesomes with other hotties of multiple genders.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

CASS CASS CASS.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

steph, and she agonized over it, only for cass to say it so easily in a way cass didn’t think it would ever be easy for her to say. like steph is some magical fairy tale princess that lifts the curse on cass to never be able to express love the way love is supposed to be expressed. steph just makes things easy. she makes everything easy.

What are their primary love languages?

TOUCH. GAMES. QUALITY TIME. GIFTS.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

they both do they’re TERRIBLE.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

batgirl and the black bat are forced on seperate patrols bc they do this so much and they HATE it and SNEAK OUT and kiss ANYWAY!

Who initiates kisses?

cass!

Who’s the big and little spoon?

cass is big spoon!

What are their favorite things to do together?

they really like watching wrestling and kung fu movies together i think. steph also likes girly movies, but cass gets bored after a while and just starts wrestling with her over the popcorn and then wrestling leads to hankypanky. most of all they love fighting and dancing AND PLAYING PRANKS on the bat boys.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

cass is.

Who’s more protective?

CASS IS.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical affection.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

jenny - studio killers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they both call each other batgirl affectionately, cass also learns new words to say girlfriend and sweetie all the time and uses those.

Who remembers the little things?

STEPH.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

they COMPETE to see who will do it first. they use the batcave to make sure the other isnt going to look for rings. and when they find the other one shopping for rings. its fucking GO-TIME BITCH. you’re not going to propose to me, i’m going to propose to you! when they pop out the boxes at the exact same time, cass steals the ring from steph’s hands and holds it up over her head and throws hers at steph’s head like ‘YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME FIRST. NO TAKEBACKSIES.’

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

it’s a big wedding. cass loves, loves people. it’s a whos-who, especially since cass is gonna be batman and she has all the justice league contacts now. cass turns a bit into a bridezila, but like, as a joke, mostly, and she calms down when steph is like ‘i thought we could be more intimate...’ lol

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

they adopt some bratty street kids that are tangentially related to joker / black mask / puzzler / lady shiva as a fuck you. they love their kids so much.

Do they have any pets?

so many cats. a million cats.

Who’s the stricter parent?

cass.

Who worries the most?

steph.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

cass.

How do they celebrate holidays?

they go to concerts!!!! big loud concerts where they can mosh!!!

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

cass! no school! just cuddles!

Who’s the better cook?

steph. cass doesn’t know how to, and also refuses to, fry an egg.

Who likes to dance?

cass most of all!

[jemmahazelnut]

Laxus and the magic lamp

Summary: Laxus is the sultan's grandson, but when he’s deceived by his father, he’ll find himself trapped in a cave together with a strange genie with long green hair. [Freed/Laxus]

Link: AO3

This is a very light story, hopefully funny. Obviously, it's based on the Disney movie Aladdin, but there’s no thief and no princess. Instead, there is a prince and a genie of the lamp (plus a joker magic carpet and a dangerous tiger). Hope you like it :)

Laxus and the magic lamp

-1-

Laxus couldn't believe his eyes. A boy with long green hair had just materialized in front of him with two strange strands of lightning bolt on top, stretching his legs and arms as if nothing had happened. It must have been a dream, maybe he had hit his head too hard and was now hallucinating. Laxus knew that wizards existed, he himself was the son of a wizard -quite a powerful one, to tell the truth- but that was too weird even for him. He looked at the lamp in his hand. That boy had gotten out of there, Laxus was sure of it. How it was possible Laxus didn’t know.

“Who are you?” Laxus asked the stranger, who turned to him, scrutinizing him. He looked quite bored actually.

“Freed, the genie of the lamp. You’re my master, I can fulfill three of your wishes and then I’ll pass into the hands of someone else” the boy said tonelessly. Laxus frowned, was about to ask him for an explanation but Freed anticipated him: “Where’s Bickslow?”.

“Bickslow?” Laxus asked confusedly.

“Yes, a flying carpet. He's quite spiteful, you should recognize him. We were together last time, he told me he wouldn't run away without me” Freed said as he began to walk around the cave. The blond blinked more and more hallucinated. Okay, it wasn't the first time he'd seen a wizard or magic in action, but he certainly had never seen such a weird guy come out of a fucking lamp and flutter around with big purple wings looking for a flying carpet. Had he told he was a genie? “So? Did you see it or not?” Freed asked again annoyed.

“I... yes, I think” Laxus muttered, pointing at it with a finger. It was that annoying carpet that had unnerved him ever since he entered that fucking cave, so much so that Laxus had decided to plant a stone on it and immobilize him. He had grown tired of his stupid jokes, he was already pissed off on behalf of him for letting his father screw him like that.

Once again.

God, if only he had gotten out of there, and if only he could use magic, he’d have made him pay for it. As every time he hated his helplessness in front of his father, who remind him from the day he was born how useless he was. How weak he was without magic. Constantly making him weigh the fact that he was just an inept despite being the grandson of the sultan and the strongest wizard in all of Fiore. As if it were his fault that he was born like that.

He let go of those thoughts when Freed started talking to the rug and scolding it. Laxus looked at Freed more and more skeptical. Genie or not, that guy wasn't right with his head.

“You got fooled by a human, I guess you deserve to be in this condition” he was saying. He paused as the carpet moved the tassels. “I don't believe you even one bit, and if you keep complaining I won't free you” he said.

“Where the fuck did I end up?” Laxus wondered more and more thrilled. That situation was far too crazy. He was stuck underground in a fucking cave in the company of a mad genie and a flying carpet. Meanwhile, his father was out of there doing who knows what.

Laxus darkened at the thought and looked back at the lamp. Ivan had wanted that. That was why Ivan had brought him here to get the lamp. He had told him that it would be an invaluable source of power and that with that, they could heal his grandfather of the disease and empower Laxus. The blond didn’t know how much of that his father actually wanted to do, he doubted that Ivan was so worried about Makarov, he’d probably only use it for his personal purposes. Actually, maybe it was lucky that Laxus was left trapped in there. He dared not imagine what his father would do with that lamp.

Laxus turned the object over in his hands thoughtfully. The crazy guy said he was a genie and could grant three wishes. He looked up at the boy, who had now cleared the carpet that he had resumed fluttering around.

“You said you were a genie, right?” Laxus asked. Freed turned to him.

“How many times do I have to repeat things? Yes, I’m a genie, you’ve three wishes and I can grant whatever you ask. Maybe you can wait a little while before fulfilling them, so I can finally stretch my legs? You know, I think I've been locked up there for at least thirty years. A day off would do me good” he said pointing to the lamp. The carpet fluttered and Freed turned to it. “Thirty-two? Well, it's thirty-two years, even worse” he commented annoyed.

“Do you understand the carpet?” Laxus asked confused, since he hadn't heard even a sound from that object. Freed stared at him, for some reason he seemed to hate him, yet Laxus didn't understand why. They had never met before, he was sure of it.

“Of course, otherwise I wouldn't talk to him” he replied coldly. Then he arched an eyebrow. “Of all the humans I have found in front of, you’re definitely the most idiot.”

“What?” Laxus snapped, starting to get irritated. “Shouldn't you show some respect to your master?” he blurted out. Freed made a face.

“Well, if you ask for it as a wish I’ll be obliged to do so. But I suppose you’ve other wishes in mind, like becoming rich or powerful” the genie commented sourly. The carpet fluttered in front of Freed and moved strangely. Freed frowned slightly. “Oh. You’re a prince. So, you’re already rich and powerful, what more do you want? Humans really can't get enough of it” he commented as if he was pissed off. Laxus found himself quite stunned. Had the carpet just told the genie that he was a prince? That was proof that Freed could really understand it. How could he do it Laxus struggled to understand, but he decided not to think about it.

“Are you so hateful with all masters?” Laxus asked.

“Yes” Freed replied quietly starting to walk, probably just for the sake of moving. “I’ve spent over a century fulfilling the wishes of you humans, all similar wishes, mind you. There were those who wanted to be richer, those more powerful, those who wanted to be recognized as king, and those who wanted to have a lot of women. Every now and then I also happen to some moron who wants a statue in honor of him. I mean, I can destroy whole mountains and I have to use my power for something as trivial as a stupid statue. Not to mention the sultan who asked me to become the king of the whole world. I mean, what did he need it for? He already had a kingdom. However, it didn't end well for him, someone would kill him immediately. It was quite satisfying…”.

“Shut up for a moment” Laxus said. All that information was beginning to confuse him.

“Right, I guess you don't care. I haven't been able to talk to anyone for thirty-two years, so you could at least be more understanding. But why do I tell a prince?” Freed muttered increasingly irritated. Laxus ran a hand over his face wearily.

“So can you grant any of my wishes?” he asked him, he wanted to be sure first.

“There are some clauses” Freed said pragmatically. “I don't kill, I don't make people fall in love, I don't raise the dead” he clarified. Laxus raised an eyebrow.

“So, if I asked you to give me a powerful magical power, could you do it?” he asked. Freed rolled his eyes.

“Really predictable” he commented sourly “Yes, I can do it” he added immediately after.

“Don't judge my wishes” Laxus growled. Freed snorted.

“Is this your first wish?”.

“No!” Laxus exclaimed. The genie smiled in amusement and Laxus found himself snorting. For a genie he was quite an asshole. He became thoughtful wondering what he could ask him. To tell the truth, he already had two very specific wishes in mind, but he didn't want to waste them right away, he wanted to think about them first. Well, before actually the most important thing to do was get out of there or he wouldn't have fulfilled anything at all. He stood up and walked over to the wall of rocks looking for something to hold onto to climb.

“If you're looking for a way out, I remind you that I can do it with a snap of my fingers” Freed said. Laxus gave him a grim look.

“I won't waste a wish this way” he objected.

“Well then, squash yourself, so you won't be able to grant any wishes” Freed commented. Laxus rolled his eyes as he looked for a way to climb up. But it was impossible unless he was flying, and he didn't have wings. He adjusted the lamp to his side and tried to climb up the wall, ignoring Freed's gaze which was clearly amused.

“You're funny, when you fall, I'll laugh even more. You will be the first human to have died without granting even a wish” he said. Laxus turned around ready to insult him but was surprised when the carpet flew past him, stretching out under him and pushing him up. Laxus widened his eyes and a small exclamation escaped him, while the carpet carried him higher and higher towards the exit. Freed flew past them with wings. “Bickslow, why are you helping him? I really wanted to see him fall” he said.

“You're an asshole for a genie” Laxus grunted. As annoying as that carpet had been to him before, it was definitely kinder than that genie.

“I know” Freed just said. In a short time, they came out of the cave and as soon as they were there, they found themselves in the middle of an expanse of sand. It must have been morning, the sun was low in the east but they couldn't see anything even in the distance. Which was obvious, he had traveled extensively with his father to get there. Laxus actually didn't even know which way he should go, he was pretty sure he had to go southeast, but he had no idea how long it would take him to get home.

“Would you take me home?” he asked to the carpet. He felt a bit stupid talking to it, but if Freed could do it, he probably could too, right? The carpet looked pleased at the question and spread out beneath him, so Laxus sat cross-legged on it while Freed frowned at him.

“I am the genie here, with a snap of my fingers I'd take you home” he reminded him as if he were almost offended. Laxus smiled slightly.

“Yes, but you’re an asshole. This rug is nicer than you, and I’ve other wishes in mind to ask you” he clarified. The genie snorted as Bickslow approached Freed, who slapped it badly.

“I'm not going to get on top of you, you idiot” he growled. Laxus chuckled for the first time in a long time. Seeing that guy talking to a rug and making fun of him was starting to be fun. Of course, his primary thought was to go home as soon as possible hoping that his father hadn't done anything wrong, but at least he could finally enjoy some freedom.

After a while they left. Laxus on the flying carpet as Freed flew past him. As much as the genie enjoyed teasing him, it was refreshing to talk to someone after months, and Laxus found himself smiling more than he thought.

-2-

They hadn't arrived yet, they had flown for a while until Bickslow felt tired, so that evening they stopped in a small oasis. Laxus ran the water over his face to cool off and filled the bottle with long sips. Freed, on the other hand, didn’t eat or drink. He said he didn't need it, since he was a genie. Laxus watched the boy, who had stretched out on the sand and was looking up at the dark sky above him. As much as he enjoyed teasing him throughout the day, he knew that life must be frustrating for him. Over a century to fulfill the wishes of other people, to be a slave to anyone. Laxus had no idea what it was like, but it sure wasn't supposed to be pleasant. If he had been Freed, he would have been a lot more pissed off at everyone.

He sat on the sidelines, not wanting to disturb him any further and his thoughts fell back to his father and grandfather. He wearily ran his hands over his face. Three wishes, he could finally solve his problems. But what could he want? Certainly, healing his grandfather, that was undisputed. The other two, however, were a problem. For years he had wanted to be a wizard, so that he could finally be recognized and respected, mainly by his father himself, but now he wasn't so sure he wanted to. Sure, he wanted magic, but to crush Ivan rather than for recognition of him. To put an end to his wickedness. And then he… he wanted a happy life. Being locked up in the castle was extremely boring.

“Are you thinking about your wishes?” Freed asked. Laxus turned. He hadn't even realized that he had approached him. He probably teleported himself, he enjoyed doing it just to annoy him.

“More or less” he replied in a mutter. He wasn't in the mood for joking at the time, but the genie seemed to understand this without him having to tell him.

“I guess there’s something that worries you. If you’re unsure what I can do, you can ask” Freed said. Laxus gave him a surprised look.

“I thought you hated granting other people's wishes” he commented. Freed smiled slightly.

“In fact, I do. But if they’re good wishes, I only enjoy helping people. And it really looks like something is bothering you” he revealed. Laxus nodded thoughtfully. They remained silent for a while, each lost in their own thoughts, until Laxus decided to speak.

“Can you... heal someone from an incurable disease?” he asked him. He felt Freed's gaze on him, but the blond continued undaunted to observe the small pool of water in front of him.

“Yes, I can recover from any disease. Even if one is on the verge of death, I can do it” he replied calmly. Laxus nodded and felt relief grow in his stomach.

“Good”.

“Who do you want to save, if I may know?” Freed asked. Laxus hesitated for a moment, but there was really no reason to hide it, sooner or later he would have known.

“My grandfather” he replied “He's been sick for a few months and no one can find the cure, and... he seems to get worse and worse. I searched everywhere until my father told me that there was a strong power in that cave that would be able to save him. Well, I don't know how interested he really is in saving grandpa, but he didn't lie, he was referring to you” he explained. He glanced briefly at Freed, who was silent for a moment.

“If this is your wish, I can't wait to fulfill it” the genie told him with a hint of a smile. “How come you say your father isn't interested in saving him?” he asked. Laxus snorted.

“He… he's the kind of man you described afternoon. Only interested in power, when my grandfather fell ill, he almost cheered knowing that he would be the next sultan” he explained, darkening his face. “And now it's obvious that he only brought me here to take the lamp and give it to him. I’ve no idea what he wants to do with you, but sure no good” he added. Freed listened silently and Laxus snorted, realizing that the genie had probably seen many such people. “You know, I'm sorry for you. I mean, I understand you hate us. You’ve no idea how many times I've seen men who want to marry their daughters to me just to get my wealth. I see these things almost every day, and at least I can send them to shit, while you…” while you just had to obey, he thought without saying it. Freed shrugged.

“It's not your fault. And I know they're not all selfish, I met a good soul from time to time. Once a princess asked me for help to make her people feel good. It was a nice gesture” Freed said. “These are the things I think about when I'm in a bad mood, which is quite often, as I spend years in a tiny lamp alone” he commented wryly. Laxus didn't laugh, there wasn't much fun. In fact, he was beginning to sympathize with him.

“Were you born like this or did you become a genie?” he asked.

“I became” Freed replied immediately. “I was a pretty powerful wizard and I had unnerved too many people, so they locked me in there” he explained briefly.

“Won't you tell me more?” Laxus asked. Freed snorted.

“Are you really interested?” he asked. Laxus nodded and so the genie began to tell his story. Laxus discovered that he had been one of the most powerful wizards, a scholar, and that he had always been fascinated by dark magic. For years he had studied a way to increase physical abilities and had succeeded by imprisoning a demon inside it, but he had lost control, so he was locked inside the lamp, and forced to use his powers to fulfill the wishes of others. Laxus listened in silence.

“How long have you been in there?” Laxus finally asked. Freed shrugged.

“Two centuries? Maybe a little more” he commented.

“So, in theory you can live forever?” Laxus asked. Freed nodded.

“Yup. I’m immortal. An eternal sentence of slavery” he replied dryly.

“And... isn't there a way to free yourself?” he asked him. Freed smiled.

“Of course, the master should give up a desire for him and ask to free me” he replied. “At that point I’d become a human again and live the rest of my life like anyone else” Laxus's eyes widened slightly. Oh. Well, it made sense.

“So... I could free you”.

“Don't say it” Freed said coldly. Laxus turned to him, scanning his face. He didn't look sad, just… resigned.

“I don't have many desires, then, once my grandfather is healed and I have the magic, I can arrange to do the rest” he objected. Freed turned to him looking intently into his eyes.

“I'm sure you'll think of something else” he said harshly. Laxus started to object but Freed wouldn't let him. “Don't start, I've heard a similar promise before. Rather, it appears that you’ve decided on the first two wishes. While the first appears to be altruistic, the latter really don't understand it. You're the next sultan, right? Why would you want to have magic? You'll already have enough power” he said. Laxus felt a little uncomfortable. He didn't like talking about that, he always made him feel out of place.

“I don't have any magic” he objected, hoping that would clear everything up. Freed, however, didn’t seem at all surprised by that revelation.

“Then?” Freed asked.

“So… so I don't have any magic and I'm the sultan's grandson. Nobody will take me seriously. Fuck, nobody does it right now” he blurted out instinctively. He didn't want to scream like that, but he felt quite nervous. It was a sore point.

“You don't need magic to be recognized” Freed retorted. “In any case, it's late. Goodnight” he said and then disappeared in small purple bits that flew into the lamp. Laxus observed the magic in surprise, finding himself at the same time amazed and a little shaken by the conversation they had just had.

-The day after-

That was going to be his room then. They had just arrived at the castle and the prince had told him that he could sleep there. Which was nice, as Freed had been forced to sleep in a tiny lamp for years. That bed, on the other hand, was spacious, he had an entire bathroom all to himself, a terrace overlooking the internal garden and… perhaps he had misjudged Laxus. He seemed like a really nice guy, nothing to do with the old folks who had asked him for money and power solely for their own interests.

“This time you found yourself a pretty hot master” Bickslow commented, fluttering in the air. Freed gave him a dirty look. That rug talked too much, luckily Laxus couldn't understand it or was sure Bickslow would enjoy embarrassing him in front of the prince.

“Yeah, too bad he's like everyone else” he commented coldly pushing the good thoughts about Laxus to the back of his head. After fulfilling his three wishes, however, he’d never see him again, so it was useless to think about it. Bickslow stretched out on the mattress, spreading and moving the tassels.

“Really? Because you're not as sour as you usually do… you like him” it said.

“No, I don't” Freed retorted immediately.

“Oh yes instead. Your heart melted when he told you about his grandfather”.

“Stop” he snapped dryly. At that moment the door opened and Laxus entered.

“Are you still talking to the carpet?” Laxus asked. Freed turned to him already ready to answer badly, when he noticed that a tiger was walking beside him. He looked at her curiously and attentively. Laxus must have noticed his gaze because he smiled slightly amused. “She’s Evergreen, I advise you not to piss her off” he said, leaving a small caress on the animal's back. Freed raised an eyebrow.

“Your pet?” he asked skeptically. The sultans were strange. The tiger growled at him and Freed jumped slightly taken aback and glared at her. Laxus chuckled.

“She doesn't like being called that, but she seems to like you” he commented as the tiger approached him. Freed remained motionless just so as not to show his fear, while the animal sniffed him and ran around him growling.

“I don't think she really likes me” he objected.

“If she didn't like you, she’d have torn you apart already” Laxus replied calmly. Freed stared at him even more skeptical, that wasn't reassuring at all. “Come on Ever, leave him alone, he's shivering with fear” said the blonde with a hint of amusement in his voice, at which Freed got irritated. Of all the masters he had ever had, never had one made fun of him like that. The tiger walked away and crouched aside.

“Why do you have a tiger? Couldn't you have taken... a cat?” he asked. Laxus shrugged.

“I like tigers, and she's a bitch, she scares anyone who breaks my balls” he replied with a shrug. “On the other hand, since you saw it, you’ve dropped your wings” he then added with a mocking smile. Freed got nervous. That wasn't true at all, he was just surprised.

“I’m a genie, certainly the most powerful being in this castle. I'm certainly not afraid of a tiger” he immediately objected. A more powerful growl made him jump and immediately after the tiger jumped on him, if Freed managed to avoid it, it was only because he disappeared and appeared on the other side of the room. Laxus was laughing big. “You should tame her” Freed said between his teeth.

“Nah, I like having a free spirit next to me” the prince replied even more amused. “And it will be fun to see you run away from her”.

“If I wanted, she would already be ashes, and I don't do it just because I have moral values. But I could turn her into a sweet kitty” Freed threatened with a hiss. The tiger blew at him even more pissed off as Laxus raised an eyebrow.

“You know, she doesn't like you that much anymore” he said tilting his head to the side “Keep it up and you'll find yourself mauled within hours”.

“Just try it” Freed retorted. That tiger seemed to really understand him anyway, as she stared at him as if she were planning a surprise attack. Well, better be careful, he didn't want to end up with his clothes in tatters. He watched Laxus soften his smile as he scratched the back of the animal, which finally crouched partially.

“So, do you want to take me to your grandfather?” Freed asked changing the subject and Laxus frowned.

“I’ve to do something else first. It won't take long, you can go around freely, just… don't let my father see you” he told him and hurriedly left the room, leaving him alone. Just so to speak, since the tiger and Bickslow were still there. Since he didn’t want to risk being discovered by Ivan, he decided to stay there, took a book and lay down on the bed, not without glancing at the tiger, which in any case seemed to have dozed off partially. He sank into the mattress and smiled satisfied. For the first time in many years, he was not upset about having a master.

-4-

Laxus had noticed that something was wrong in the castle. He still hadn't figured out what, but he hadn't seen the usual waitresses wandering happily through the corridors, nor had he felt the usual cheerful atmosphere. Something must have happened, and he wanted to figure it out before walking around with a lamp that could be stolen. But when he was about to approach the kitchens, he heard an all too familiar voice.

“What do you mean you saw Laxus? It's not possible” his father was growling. Laxus paused in the middle of the corridor unsure what to do. He wasn't sure how to deal with him, and the anger was already starting to rise but he forced himself to turn around so he could see him. The man turned the corner and Ivan widened his eyes as soon as he saw him. Laxus glared at him without saying a word, while the man's expression went from surprise to angry.

“Laxus, how... when did you come back?” he asked him. Laxus shrugged.

“Before” he replied vaguely. “It was really nice to throw myself into that cave” he commented ironically, shooting a dirty look at the red-haired girl next to him. Flare, that bitch must have warned him that he was back.

“Son, you know I didn't throw you out. You offered to come in” Ivan said softening his tone. Laxus raised an eyebrow, increasingly irritated. He remembered the scene all too well, but as usual, his father had to turn things around in his favor. He didn't want to waste time with that anyway. “So, I suppose to be here you must have found the lamp” he added inquiringly. Laxus tensed slightly, and just hoped Ivan didn't notice. Shit. If Ivan had known about the genie, he would have done everything to have him under control and that was definitely the last thing he wanted.

“No, I'm back on my own” he then replied “And a little luck, a wagon was passing by. It took you very little to abandon me, since I went out two hours later and there was no trace of you. Did you want to get rid of me?” he asked him. Ivan narrowed his gaze.

“You are always so malicious with me, son. Of course not, I didn't think you survived. So, tell me, how did you get out of there?” he asked. Evidently, he didn’t believe him. Laxus was about to answer but couldn't say anything that shikigami wrapped around his arms. He gritted his teeth and wriggled, breaking them with the strength of his arms, but shortly after other figures attacked him directly. “Don't tell me you're so stupid that you left the lamp there” growled the man. Laxus glared at him. Obviously, he understood that. He tried to free himself but it was useless, against that power he couldn’t do anything.

“What the fuck do you want from me, huh?” Laxus snapped.

“The lamp” Ivan growled. Laxus grinned.

“Well, unfortunately for you there isn't. However, I’d never have brought it to you”.

“Bastard” Ivan growled and other shikigami shot out of his hands. Laxus struggled not to moan in pain, even though the papers burned his skin. Then he was yanked by the arms and thrown to the ground. “You'll end up like that old man, dead behind bars. Flare, Nullpudding, take him there” Ivan ordered the two underlings, who obeyed instantly. Laxus at that moment regretted not having immediately expressed his first wish, if he had the magic, he would have got rid of them in an instant. Instead, he could do nothing but be dragged to prison.

As soon as he was thrown in, he saw that his grandfather was there too, lying in a corner and trembling.

“Grandpa” he said worriedly as he approached. The old man opened his eyes weakly and sighed slightly.

“Laxus, I thought you were dead” Makarov muttered hoarsely. Laxus took off his jacket and put it around him, hoping it might be of some comfort. The old sultan, however, continued to tremble.

“What happened?” the boy asked “What the hell is father doing?” he blurted out irritably.

“He… wants to take up the position of sultan. I told him that he’d never have the kingdom and that if I died, he would pass to you” the old man coughed for a moment “That's why I thought he killed you” he added. Laxus put a hand on his forehead, worried about his state. He was even worse than the last time.

“Well, he won't be” he said dryly. Hell, that he would let him do something like that. After all, now he had Freed. Freed… shit. How the fuck did he talk to him from behind bars? He just hoped his father didn't find out the genie was there.

-The day after-

He didn't know how he found himself in that situation, he just knew that that shouldn't have happened. Freed coldly stared at the man in front of him, who was smiling sadistically as he stroked the lamp in his hands.

“I’m your master now. Three wishes, right?” he asked, widening his smile. Freed stared at him contemptuously. He honestly didn't understand how that man could be Laxus's father since he didn't look like him at all, and what the boy had told him was enough for Freed to understand that this man would be the last person he wanted as master.

“Yup. With three clauses, I don't kill, I don't make people fall in love, I don't raise the dead” he acted much colder than he had been with Laxus. Ivan nodded thoughtfully.

“Too bad, I was hoping not to get my hands dirty. In any case, I want to become the sultan of this country” he ordered. Freed felt anger boil under him but could do nothing but raise his arm. This was one of those moments when he hated his position. Purple magic began to come out of his hand, surrounding the man's body and shortly thereafter Ivan was covered in the typical clothes of the sultan. A big white hat on his head, a scepter in his hand and an even more satisfied smile on his face.

“Well, the time has come to begin to reign and change the rules” the man said, walking towards the large terrace that he overlooked the city. He began to speak loudly to people. By now everyone considered him a full-fledged sultan, they acclaimed him and Freed could only watch, just hoping that someone would put an end to that story. He glanced at the lamp. If only Laxus had taken it, he’d have stopped all that mess. But Freed was bound, he couldn’t in any way hinder the plans of his master.

“Now, I want to talk to Laxus. Guards, bring him to me” Ivan said as he went back into the main hall. Freed's eyes widened slightly, he hadn’t really expected it.

Shortly after two guards entered the room dragging Laxus and badly knocked him to the ground. His wrists were tied in handcuffs, and he was full of scratches on his arms. The blonde looked at Freed and darkened, immediately understanding what had happened.

“Bastard” the blond growled. Ivan hit him with his shikigami and Freed felt himself seething with anger again. But still, he couldn't do anything.

“Do you dare to talk to your father and your new sultan like that?” Ivan growled. Laxus narrowed his gaze.

“I’ll never give respect to you. You may be the sultan, but you're not worth anything” he spat. Ivan hit him again with the spell, making him stagger and Laxus gritted his teeth, evidently in trouble.

“You better change your attitude if you want to stay in my kingdom” he warned him. Laxus grinned.

“Your reign won't last a day” he objected. Furious Ivan hit him a third time and Freed shuddered at that point, seriously caring for the boy. There was no way anyone could take all those attacks passively. It was already surprising that Laxus was still standing and that he didn't let any emotion but anger show through.

“Did you poison your grandfather?” Laxus asked. Freed's eyes widened as Ivan chuckled.

“How did you find out, huh?” he asked.

“I suspected it, but I got confirmation from him. You never cared about his life, did you? You just wanted to take his place” Laxus snapped, his gaze growing furious. Freed swallowed hard, glancing at Ivan, who did nothing to deny it. In fact, he laughed openly. Asshole bastard, he thought. Of all the people he had met in his life, Ivan was definitely one of the worst. But the worst part was that Freed could do absolutely nothing to stop him, in fact, he was helping him.

“Well, in any case it doesn't matter anymore. He’ll die shortly and you’ll follow him if you don’t help me in my plan”.

“Forget it” Laxus immediately growled. A new burst of shikigami left from Ivan's hands and Freed watched more and more helpless and more and more worried the boy, who despite everything, was standing up to endure that torture.

“You will, unless you want to be blasted by my magic” Ivan threatened. Laxus grinned.

“Go ahead, this stuff just tickles me” he invited him. Stupid, Freed thought. He was a human without any magic, how could he even think he could endure something like that? Ivan didn’t wait and started hitting him again, and Freed looked away, unable to bear that treatment anymore. As annoying as Laxus had been, he had been one of the few people who hadn't treated him like a slave. The only one who had treated him as an equal and who had joked with him almost as if they were friends. He just didn't want to see him die in front of him.

“Have you become weaker as you get older?” Laxus scoffed. Ivan looked more and more pissed off, and at that point he turned to Freed.

“Slave, my second wish is to become the most powerful wizard in Fiore” he ordered. Freed gave him a dirty look, raised his hand again and without saying a word the magic activated itself, forced to please his master, enveloping him in a purple and black aura and drastically increasing his power. Ivan grinned and lifted himself into the air, raising his hand above him and attacking Laxus again, who this time fell to the ground groaning. Freed wanted to rip those damn handcuffs off his wrists and attack Ivan himself.

“Now you don't laugh anymore, do you? So, will you help me?” Ivan repeated.

“No” Laxus spat. Ivan seemed pissed off again and at that point Freed intervened unable to take it anymore.

“What do you need from him that I can't give you?” he asked. Ivan turned to him frowning at being interrupted by a slave.

“You won't be faithful to me forever, and I want my son to follow in my footsteps. Of course, I’d have preferred a wizard rather than an inept like him, but I'll have to settle for it. I’ll make him a powerful magician in my service”.

“I never will” Laxus growled. Ivan grinned.

“Well, if you don't do it of your own free will, then I'll have to ask for the third wish. I wanted to use it for something else, but it'll be okay too” he said with a grin. No, Freed thought in panic. That was absolutely the last thing he wanted to do. “Slave, I want ...”.

“Why he?” Freed interrupted him before he finished the sentence. “Just because he's your son? Wouldn't it be better to have a wizard in your employ? A powerful wizard?”. Ivan stared at him contemptuously.

“What the hell are you trying to do?” he growled him.

“Help you. As a genie it’s my job to do so, I cannot in any way embarrass my master by contract” Freed replied promptly. “Laxus clearly has no power, it makes no sense...”.

“I want my son's respect!” Ivan shouted. Freed glared at him. So, was it all there? That was out of his mind, totally nonsense. He heard someone giggling behind him and turning around he noticed it was Laxus. Freed found himself admiring him for his strength, he was hurt and yet he still hadn't lowered his head.

“Really? Do you just want me to respect you? And I thought you wanted Grandpa's power” he commented. “Weren't you looking for the Lumen Histoire? A long way to not have it?” he asked. Ivan immediately changed expression to that name and seemed to go crazy.

“What do you know about the Lumen Histoire?” Ivan asked furiously as he approached Laxus.

“Not much actually, it's just the biggest secret power in the world” he replied. Ivan grabbed him by the collar lifting him off the ground.

“Where is it?” he asked him. Laxus shrugged.

“I'm not your slave” he replied badly without looking down. Ivan threw him badly to the ground and turned to Freed in anger as never before.

“Slave, I want the Lumen Histoire, now!” he thundered the order. Freed didn’t even know what it was, to tell the truth he had never heard of it, despite this, the magic came up by itself from his hands, and shortly after a small pink crystal appeared in the hand of the man, who stared at him with sparkling eyes of desire. Freed didn't have time to think about anything, that saw Laxus punch his father in the stomach. Ivan gasped, while the blond badly grabbed the lamp from his hand.

“Freed, take all the magic off Ivan” he ordered. Freed smiled and didn't think twice. He raised his hand in front of him and acted quickly, while Ivan in panic began to attack with the shikigami all around him. Laxus was swept against the wall and the lamp fell a few meters from him, Ivan's guards were hit full-on and flew into the windows. Freed narrowed his gaze as he increased his magic. The shikigami diminished until they disappeared completely, and Ivan fell back to the ground, breathing heavily and incredulously. He looked at his hands from which now nothing came out.

“You... bastard!” he yelled as he turned to Laxus, who was rubbing his head trying to recover. Freed flew right beside him.

“Everything good?” he asked worriedly. The blond nodded slightly moaning and Freed ran his hand gently on his arm.

“I can cure you if you ask me” he reminded him. Laxus shook his head and stood up, taking the lamp back in his hands and glaring at his father. He was breathing hard, still shaken by the attacks he had had to endure. Freed stood next to him, ready to fulfill any wish of him, not that he could have done otherwise, but if Laxus had asked him to attack that asshole he would have done it with great pleasure.

“Freed, go save my grandfather” Laxus asked. Freed's eyes widened.

“What?” he asked, stunned, turning around.

“Get the fuck up. It’s my desire and he’s dying”.

“But you need help” Freed objected. Laxus gave him a dirty look and Freed found himself turning against his will. “You're a fool, Ivan isn’t destroyed yet” he reminded him as he walked away.

“No” Laxus agreed. “But he will be shortly, and I'll do it myself”.

-That evening-

Freed sat down at the well-laid table in the building. The real sultan smiled in front of him, now full of health and life, and continued to drink wine saying that he had never felt so good.

“Old man, you'll have a heart attack if you continue like this” Laxus muttered, even though he had a hint of a smile on his face. Freed smiled. Although it made no sense for him to eat, as he’d survive anyway, it was tasty to taste all those foods.

After Ivan was thrown in prison along with his subordinates, harmony had returned to the castle. Laxus had explained everything to Makarov, and had introduced him to Freed as the genie of the lamp. The old man had thanked him heartily for saving him and helping his grandson, but Freed just smiled. After all, he had been forced to. True, he would have done it anyway, most likely.

“And is that a flying carpet?” Makarov asked pointing curiously at Bickslow. Freed turned to his friend, who was flitting around the tiger making her nervous, so much so that the animal had started chasing him even though the carpet fluttered in the air escaping his ambushes. He smiled in amusement.

“Yes, you can climb on it if you want. Bickslow is always happy to have passengers on board, as he says” he replied.

“Does it speak too?” Makarov asked surprised.

“Nah, it's just Freed who's hallucinating” Laxus retorted. Freed gave him a dirty look.

“Says the man who talks to the tiger” he objected.

“Do you compare a tiger with a rug? There’s no story, at least the tiger is a living being”.

“Bickslow is a magic carpet” he immediately objected.

“Yes, and he'll be mauled by Ever if he keeps bothering her”

“I doubt it” Freed objected immediately.

“Well, boy. In any case you’re welcome in our castle, after what you’ve done for us” Makarov said interrupting their speech. Freed turned to the sultan and smiled in thanks. “You can stay as long as you want”.

“Thank you” Freed said, even though it occurred to him -with some regret- that after Laxus' last wish he’d never see them again. He turned to the boy, he was about to tell him if he had decided what he wanted to be his third wish for him, but the blond had started talking to his grandfather. He was in such a good mood that Freed just didn't feel like interrupting that moment, and he decided to put it off until later. After all, he wasn't even in such a hurry to get out of there.

The evening went on quietly. Laxus at one point told him that after what he had done for them, Evergreen had accepted it too, and prompted him to scratch behind her ears. Freed wouldn’t have wanted to do it, but Laxus would have teased him endlessly if he refused, so he reached out and almost had it detached from the tiger's jaws.

“Damn” he snapped to Laxus, turning pale, and the blonde laughed.

“Hey, I didn't think she reacted so badly” he apologized, but it was evident that he was somewhat amused by his abrupt reaction. Freed snorted. “Sooner or later I'll really turn her into a harmless kitten” he thought to himself, throwing her a dirty look. Evergreen, however, stared at him defiantly, while Laxus stroked her without any problem, with an amused smile on his face.

When they finally walked to the bedrooms Freed felt some relief that he’d sleep on a comfortable bed. It wasn't really a bad prospect. He almost didn't want Laxus to express his last wish. He was definitely the best master he'd ever had, even better than that kindhearted princess. He was the only one who had offered him a nice room and some food, the only one with whom he had joked and with whom he had really treated himself as an equal. Despite this, he knew that sooner or later he would have to say goodbye. That thought gave him a certain melancholy in the stomach and he called himself stupid for his. After all, he had known Laxus for only three days, he certainly wouldn’t miss him. Maybe he felt that way because he had spent too many years alone.

“Laxus, have you chosen your third wish?” he asked as he walked down the hall giving him a brief glance. Laxus nodded.

“Um… actually yes” he said.

“So, what are you waiting for to ask me?” Freed asked indifferently. Laxus, however, stopped turning towards him preventing him from continuing.

“You're right, better do it now” he said. Freed raised his eyebrows.

“Great power, right?” he remembered him. Laxus just smiled.

“I want you to be free”.

It took Freed a few seconds to figure out what he had asked him, and the magic started without him being able to do anything, still stunned by what the prince had asked him. It was definitely the last sentence he expected to hear. He was enveloped in a purple aura, the cuffs on his wrists broke and fell to the ground in a jingle but Freed just stared at his own hands, incredulous and speechless.

He was free.

He was really free. No more masters, no more lamps. Still stunned, he looked up at Laxus, who had a sweet smile on his face.

“I don't believe it” Freed whispered in a voice hoarse with emotion. Laxus chuckled, perhaps amused by his expression, but honestly Freed didn't care right now. He was free. After centuries of living in a lamp he was finally free. He no longer felt the powerful magic in his fingers, nor the weight of the handcuffs, nor the strength that compelled him to be loyal to his master.

“Well, you should” Laxus said.

“Did... did you set me free?” he asked as he slowly realized what that meant. No more desires, no more lamps, no more eternity, no more slavery.

“I did” the blond nodded. Freed looked up at him. The blonde had a sweet smile on his face, and Freed, seized by a rush of excitement, pushed against him and pulled him into a hug.

“Thank you” he whispered against him on his shoulder. “Thank you, really” he repeated still incredulous. He felt Laxus' arms wrap around him.

“Thanks to you” the boy softly replied. The breath tickled his forehead and Freed looked up, crossing his eyes, and for the first time he gave Laxus a sincere smile, which had nothing to do with the mocking smiles he had given him up to that moment. He didn't even know what to say. It was the first time he felt at a loss for words. And he was so excited that he didn't care at all to keep his composure.

“Do you know what you are going to do now?” Laxus asked without removing his arms from his body.

“I… I’ve no idea. I honestly never thought about it” Freed replied and giggled slightly. “I didn't expect it would ever happen” he admitted.

“Well, you can stay here until you decide. Sure, it's a bit boring but the old man is grateful to you, he’ll give you free meals and you’ll have a nice room. And if you want to escape, you have your carpet friend who would drag you away” Laxus told. Freed smiled and closed his eyes for a moment wondering for the first time in years what he wanted. Spend his life in the castle? The idea was good. Spending life with Laxus? The idea seemed fantastic. Travel? That thrilled him. Traveling with Laxus? That would have been ideal. He opened his eyes meeting the blond's gaze.

“Well, while I decide I’ll take advantage of your welcome” he replied not knowing what to do yet. Laxus chuckled.

“Dirty profiteer” teased him. Freed chuckled too until he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Kiss him, idiot” it was Bickslow of course. Freed found himself blushing and quickly broke away from Laxus, thanking for the umpteenth time that the blonde couldn't understand the carpet. Stupid Bickslow and stupid his ideas.

“I'm not stupid, free meals and roof? Not a bad perspective at all” Freed said then starting to walk back to his room, ignoring Bickslow's constant comments behind them. He cast a spell behind him to silence it as he continued to walk alongside Laxus. “And if you start to get too annoying, I can run away with Bickslow” he added, stopping at the door of his room and turning to the prince.

“Well, that sounds like a good plan” Laxus just said with a half-smile. They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Freed made up his mind to speak.

“Really, thanks for everything. Of hospitality, of having freed me... you wanted to have the magic and you gave up for me, even if you’ve known me for only three days” he said sincerely. Laxus looked uncomfortable and scratched his head nervously.

“Yeah, well, it's not really that important” he said shrugging. Freed smiled gratefully.

“No, but I know you wanted it” he retorted.

“Like you said, I don't need magic to be a good sultan” Laxus muttered. Freed nodded.

“Yes, and as far as I'm concerned, you’re the best prince I've ever met. You’ll surely be a good sultan” he added. He thought he saw the blond blush slightly, but he decided not to worry by opening the bedroom door. “Goodnight” he greeted him and then shut himself in. As soon as it was just a smile it filled his face and for the first time in a long time, he fell asleep and had peaceful dreams.

-A few days later-

Laxus was now used to seeing Freed walking around the castle and for the first time in a long time he wasn't bored at the palace. Freed had even managed to get Makarov to let him out more often, since Freed was a wizard, he could protect him. Not that Laxus needed protection, but if that idea was enough for his grandfather to feel comfortable, he would have come to terms with it. And walking around with Freed wasn't bad, on the contrary, it was fun. And even when they spent entire afternoons at the castle, he enjoyed teasing him, and the flying carpet was always nice. It seemed to somehow make Freed nervous, for reasons Laxus still couldn't understand, but as long as he saw Freed threaten an animated object, he would have fun.

The more the days passed and the more Laxus thought he had done well to free him, Freed was definitely less cold and more prone to jokes, and Laxus was discovering new sides of him that made them get along more and more. New sides that pleased him with his friend more than he should have, because more than once he had focused on his figure. He knew what that meant, but he tried not to think about it thinking that if he ignored those thoughts, they would vanish on their own.

Besides, Evergreen had also accepted Freed. She even let him caress her, which Laxus was quite surprised by. Well, if that bitch Evergreen had accepted him, then it was certainly a good sign.

Laxus knew that Freed would leave the castle sooner or later, more and more often he said he would like to take some trips. A castle was definitely bigger than a lamp, but being locked up wasn't going to be easy for Freed anyway, after he'd been for most of his life.

That's why he wasn't surprised when he saw Freed sitting on the flying carpet that evening, walking out onto the terrace. The boy was saying something to Bickslow, who fluttered just beyond his terrace. Laxus walked over but as soon as he leaned over Freed fell silent.

“You leave?” Laxus asked. Freed smiled slightly.

“Yes, there are islands overseas. I heard about them at the market and everyone says they're beautiful” he replied. Laxus felt his heart go flat. Was he leaving and not even telling him? He thought that when he made up his mind he would warn him well in advance, not two seconds before he left. Sure, Freed didn't owe him anything but Laxus now regarded him as his friend and was pretty sure it was the same for Freed.

“Yes, I remember, you even bought a book about those” commented the blond trying not to show all his disappointment. He would miss him, now more than ever he realized it. He had never thought about that moment hoping it will never arrive, but now that he was there, he wasn't ready to say goodbye. Not with those new feelings that were being born in him. And if he let Freed go without even talking about it or showing it to him, Laxus knew he would regret it for the rest of his life.

That was the reason why Laxus took courage and without thinking twice pushed himself towards Freed. He passed a hand behind his friend's neck pulling Freed against him and kissed him.

His initial thought had been to leave him only a chaste kiss, but when he felt Freed reciprocate and his hands running through his hair, Laxus tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss. He pushed forward, leaning over the terrace. He was definitely an awkward position but definitely worth it. It was undoubtedly worth it. To have Freed's soft lips on him, to smell his scent, and his hands running down the back of his neck. That was much more than he had expected.

After a few moments they parted and stood for a moment in silence, looking into each other's eyes. Freed had red cheeks and was still close enough that Laxus could feel his breath on his face. Only then Laxus realized that Freed had approached during the kiss, or perhaps it was the carpet that had approached. It didn't matter much, what mattered to Laxus was that Freed wasn't breaking up, and it seemed like he wanted that kiss as much as he did. Then why was he leaving?

“So... are you leaving anyway?” Laxus asked. His voice came out hoarse and more uncertain than expected. He didn't want to show how bad he was, but hell... if Freed liked it, why did he have to leave?

“I... yes, you can come with me” he replied in a low voice. Laxus wanted to, get on that carpet and run away with him, but he just couldn't. He didn't even want to leave his grandfather there alone.

“No, I can't” he said then. Freed's expression became confused and then the carpet waved under him. Freed looked down, probably Bickslow was saying something to him. After that Freed looked up at him again.

“Wait, I'm not leaving forever. I'll only be away for five days” he said. Laxus's eyes widened slightly, wait what? Freed let out a short chuckle. “Did you really think I was leaving without warning you properly?” he asked him. Laxus found himself blushing.

“I... you said you were leaving” he said embarrassed. Freed gave him such a sweet smile that Laxus found himself at a loss for words.

“Yes, but I meant for a few days” the boy explained. “And… well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me. Your grandfather already said you can come” he added. Oh. Oh, that was… nice. Laxus didn’t even realize but by now the embarrassment had passed, replaced by something similar to a euphoric feeling in the stomach.

“Then I'll come too” he immediately decided. Freed reached out a hand to him and Laxus took it with a slight smile on his face as he stepped onto the carpet and sat down next to the boy. “About... um ... what we did...” Laxus muttered a bit awkwardly. Freed's face flushed again as he shrugged.

“Well, we could talk to the islands about it” he said shyly. Laxus glanced at him briefly without understanding why he was holding back, and Freed blushed and leaned towards him lowering his voice even more. “Anyway, I'd like to do it again” he admitted not without embarrassment.

Laxus smiled and taken by a further surge of courage leaned towards him to kiss him again. It was a simple and brief touch of lips, but it was enough to excite him and the two boys looked at each other silently again with smiles on their faces. When Laxus turned his gaze to the starry sky ahead of them, he felt as elated as he had never been before. That was definitely the beginning of something wonderful.

[painted-piggy-ships-archive]

Alright! Okay! Chaos Walking was an interesting, new sci-fi/dystopian movie! Looking into it, it’s based on a trilogy of books by the same name, and honestly I might have to pick them up. AND I’M NOT A READER SHGSHGHGS that’s how into this movie’s lore I am.

Mikkelson makes an EXCELLENT villain you just fucking love to hate. Manipulative, cowardly, and calling him misogynistic isn’t far-fetched in the slightest. Unfortunately that seems to be an. Actually concerning trend among my villain f/os though I usually erase or avoid the misogyny part because! That’s super uncomfortable and not attractive! (See; Jack Torrance, Billy Lenz, Joker for the gods’ sake...)

ALSO HIS DEATH MADE ME SILENTLY LAUGH I’M NOT SORRY... but the ending gives me mega vibes of, “This might have a sequel where the villain turns out to not have died.” Or if it gets a sequel Prentiss’ son will be the villain but that wouldn’t be as fun. :o/

Holland’s protagonist role, Todd Hewitt, is very compelling! I liked him! Although... I know he’s the main character. But I feel like they could’ve had some more focus on the side characters as well? Especially in the third act it felt like the only characters with any true depth to them were Todd and David.

Would’ve actually liked to see Viola “kicking that guy’s ass.” We see the aftermath, but not Viola actually doing the ass kicking. Honestly, would it have killed the directors/writers to not include at least ONE scene of Viola physically fighting someone??

Overall, I’d probably watch this one again. It’s not perfect, but at least it’s not garbage! The sound work is 😘👌 and I love the settings.

[asilentguardian]

My Thoughts on Gotham

My mom and I finished watching Gotham on December 29th, and this analysis has been sitting in google docs since then. Some of this is a bit incoherent, some of it I wrote as I was watching, and some of it I wrote after finishing the entire show. So here it is. 2,000 words or so of rambling about Gotham. 

My thoughts on the show as a whole: Gotham changed my opinion on a lot of Batman’s villains. I used to be indifferent towards Penguin, now I love him. I used to hate Firefly, now I love her. While there were one or two decisions that I disagreed with, the portrayal of these characters was satisfying and the tone of the show as a whole was refreshing. The writing was good for the most part, however there are issues with sexism and homophobia that I personally noticed.

And now I’m going season by season cause I’m a nerd.

Season One

Season one is a bit of a mixed bag for me. It seemed to me that the show writers and the younger actors were still trying to find their footing and decide what kind of world their Gotham was. Some episodes are slow, but overall it’s intriguing and I was invested after a couple of episodes.

The pilot has a lot of moving parts and it still works. They did a good job of intertwining all of these characters before starting them all on their own paths.

I can’t imagine anyone else playing these roles. I am really happy with the casting choices for this show. Jim Gordon, Harvey Bullock, and Bruce Wayne especially.

Fish Mooney is an interesting but welcome edition! To be honest, the first time my mom and I tried to watch Gotham, we hated her. The second time around, however, I LOVED her and her role in the rise of Penguin.

Having Edward Nygma start at the GCPD was a really cool idea! I think they executed his descent into madness perfectly. I wanted Ed to prevail and to be a goodman just as much as I wanted to see the Riddler emerge.

Speaking of the GCPD, the corruption and the conflict within the precinct is very believable and compelling. It’s easy to believe that Jim Gordon is a young and optimistic detective who believes wholeheartedly in doing good. I also appreciate the fact that Jim Gordon doesn’t lose that drive for good throughout the show. I also don’t find it too cheesy, even if it’s a common trope.

The Batman universe is huge so I was expecting references and easter eggs at every turn, and I was half right. There's plenty of references and cameos but they work and they aren’t essential to the plot which helps casual fans keep up with the story.

A lot of seeds are planted during this first season, and it’s rewarding to see them pay off. I don’t feel as if the first season suffers from the thing that a lot of movies do where they are clearly trailers for the next part in the franchise. 

I think my favorite episode of this season is episode 20 “Under the Knife.” The stakes are high and the story line with the Ogre is definitely unexpected and horrifying but in the best way. Also Ed kills Dougherty and it’s very satisfying.

Season Two

Rise/Wrath of the Villains!

Theo Galavan and Hugo Strange were the big bads of this season and I think they were written and acted very well.

Something I’ve noticed about some of the villains on this show and their interactions with children and Bruce in particular is that they’re... unsettling. I suppose that’s intentional and I definitely think it makes some of the villains more intimidating, but it’s really creepy. There are a lot of adults that are preying on Bruce’s innocence in this show. 

Theo Galavan was not my favorite. He was intimidating for a bit, but I kinda grew bored of him. I did enjoy the nod to Azrael. 

Hugo Strange! I was kinda indifferent to him when playing Arkham City but I enjoy him in this show! Loved when he showed up again in subsequent seasons and you immediately knew some Fucked Shit was happening.

So Mr. Freeze. I’m not too sure how I feel about Gotham’s take on this story. The casting is solid, but killing Nora? Not the move. Actually very angry about that to be honest. The Mr. Freeze episode could’ve been so much more compelling and emotional but instead it was a way to move Lee and Jim’s relationship forward :(

They managed to make Firefly not annoying, but I only found Firefly annoying before because of that stupid boss fight in Arkham Origins. But I liked Bridget.

Penguin and Nygma’s relationship is very fun in this season! More on them later, but at least in season two it’s very enjoyable to watch them learn to trust each other. My mom and I adored their story line.

I LOVE Nygma’s character arc in this season. His interactions with Gordon are some of my favorite bits from this season. They are very rewatchable and I find their relationship to be one of the more intriguing ones in the show.

Overall season 2 was decent. Some of the villains were forgettable, but the relationship arcs and character arcs that were compelling kept me interested.

Episode 15, Mad Grey Dawn, was one of my favorites this season. Seeing the Nygma v Gordon thing play out was so so so fun. I really loved being able to follow Nygma’s logic and feel Gordon’s frustration at being framed.

Season Three

Mad City/Heroes Rise!

There’s A LOT I have to say about season 3. I liked it. There’s a couple of big issues I have with season 3, but overall it was compelling and I enjoyed it.

While I’m not usually one for the “this character has a darkness inside of them” trope, I really didn’t mind it with Gordon. I thought it was believable and interesting enough to be engaging. bounty hunter Gordon was pretty fun, too. And hot. Anyway.

The Mad Hatter v Jim Gordon stuff is intense. Episode 6 where Gordon is forced to choose between Valerie and Lee is where the “dark side” trope lost me a little but I do like that they make a point to have Gordon always make his way back to the light. Valerie’s exit felt very rushed and sudden? I don’t know if the actress was written off for some reason, but it felt very weird.

So. Penguin and Nygma. I don’t know if I would necessarily call it queer-baiting, but it definitely doesn’t sit right with me. Here’s the thing about Gotham’s queer representation: it’s not good, but it’s not bad. There is 100% an issue with making all of your queer characters villains. And there’s a HUGE issue with having Barbara’s attraction to women only be present when she’s a) acting as an antagonist to Gordon’s work at the GCPD (Montoya in season one) or b) on the side of the antagonist and framed as crazy (Tabitha in season two). Also, notice how in season five she’s “sane” when she’s with Gordon. It’s homophobia luv.

However, in the case of Penguin and Nygma, the added layer of Penguin’s love for Nygma makes their arc a little more interesting and compelling (there’s still an issue with queer love being framed as toxic and obsessive in this show, but if I don’t stop talking about that this post will be miles long).

The Ivy thing is certainly a new plot device, but I don’t hate it. Took a bit to get used to, but older Ivy makes sense and to be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of child Ivy. Not that her character was bad, but I personally found her a tad annoying.

SEASON 3 EPISODE 14. THE GENTLE ART OF MAKING ENEMIES. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. Bruce’s character development in this episode made me extremely happy. I haven’t talked a lot about Jerome-Joker yet, but I really like him. Joker is one of those characters you can take a lot of liberties with and it can either really work or really suck (looking at you Jared Leto). Gotham’s version of Joker, while a bit rushed, is a good fucking Joker.

The reason why I like s3e14 so much is THIS is what the Joker vs Batman relationship is about. This is why they are perfect foils. Batman always has a reason, a method. Motivation and a cause. He believes in Gotham and he believes that EVERYONE has the capacity for good. Joker does things just for the hell of it (i.e. kidnapping Bruce). His point is anarchy and chaos. His point is that everyone has darkness and that they are “one bad day” away from giving into that darkness (subtle nods to The Killing Joke, very nice). This is illustrated SO beautifully in this episode. However, I do see an issue down the line of Joker knowing who Batman is instantly, but I digress.

The birth of Riddler! The development of Penguin and Riddler’s animosity! mwah!

Also. Bruce standing above Gotham in an early version of the suit. There’s no ears or cape but my mom and I were VERY excited. I felt so giddy.

Bruce’s vow not to kill was beautifully framed, props to the DP on that one. It felt nice to hear a live action version of Bruce Wayne say that. (Note from the future: yes he breaks it. Sorta. I’m mad about it, but I explain my feelings in depth later).

Season Four

A Dark Knight!

Alright. Season 4. To be honest, it took me a while to warm up to this one.

Scarecrow. Love his costume. Love his escape. Scarecrow is one of my favorites because he’s creepy and cool and terrifying. Well done. The episode where Jim goes after him is really brutal. He goes there alone, not even Harvey by his side, and he is forced to stare his biggest fear in the face. I loved it!

The Pax Penguina. I’m easily won over by references to old literature and history. This show has made me actually like Penguin. I used to find him annoying and didn’t understand why he was people’s favorite, but this show has proved him to be a competent and cunning villain. I love to hate him. It’s fun seeing him at the top of Gotham.

Riddler’s escape and Nygma’s return. His friendship with Lee and Grundy (Grundy!!). Ed and Lee was certainly an interesting choice. I didn’t hate it, it just seemed really odd. I enjoyed Lee’s rise to power though! 

Sofia Falcone. Not really a fan tbh. Didn’t trust her from the start and it was SO satisfying to see her get shot in the head. Talk about a ruthless mastermind. To be fair, I did love to hate her in the beginning, but then she kinda got on my nerves? The actress that played her was really good though!

Captain James Gordon. Yessir. What a legend. One step closer to Commissioner. But also ouchie he had to go behind Harvey’s back. That subplot hurt so good.

Professor Pyg is. A lot. Gotham is a mature show, but it’s hard to like Pyg even as a villain. He’s unsettling and his episodes are a bit too much. I tolerated him but it just got to be gratuitous. I will say that I am relieved that they weren’t heavy handed on the cross-dressing thing. Would prefer not to see that played for a joke anymore, and this show does not need to vilify queerness more than it has.

Jerome and Jeremiah! ahhhhh!!! What wonderful interpretations of the Joker! Jerome was great, but I think I’m partial to Jeremiah. Maybe because his costume looks so much like the Joker from the animated series and Mark Hamill will always be my Joker. Either way, I LOVED their story line in season 4.

Kinda love Barbara being involved in the League. Very sexy of her. Also very sexy of her to not be dead. 

Alright. Here we go. Ra’s Al Ghul and Bruce Wayne. I have mixed feelings about this. So Bruce kills. Technically he’s not Batman yet, and obviously Ra’s didn’t stay dead, but he already took the oath. I have a hard time staying with any adaptation that makes their Batman a killer, but this one wasn’t awful? And then technically Barbara uses Bruce’s hands to kill Ra’s in the finale. I’m upset that they went with a “what if Batman kills” story line in the first place, but the resolution wasn’t too terrible.

Those last three episodes of season 4. Wow. My mom and I couldn’t stop watching. The nods to The Killing Joke were cool but not too on the nose. The stakes felt high and I was so deeply invested because this story line in particular was very well crafted and planned out and it definitely shows. There’s so many loose ends at this finale, and somehow it works and you still have hope. But holy shit, those bridges coming down, the utter panic and confusion as you’re wondering “is X person okay? what happened to X?” wonderful, chefs kiss.

Season Five

Legend of the Dark Knight!

Oh gosh. I have so much I want to say, but I don’t know how to put it into words. I loved this season. I loved the post apocalyptic vibes of Gotham. Loved the rise of the villains into the people who will one day face Batman. Loved Gordon’s leadership and rise to Commissioner. There’s a few things I have issues with this season, but I’m just so in love with that finale. What a beautiful send off.

I loved how the finale was crafted, how we didn’t see the full Batman suit till the end. I did, in fact, cry when that thing was revealed. The score was beautiful. It felt so much like an episode of The Animated Series, yet so unlike any other piece of Batman media. It was so refreshing to have everything wrapped up nicely, so refreshing to have hope and satisfaction in a finale.

Overall, this version of Gotham City feels like a living, breathing thing that is lived in and flawed. It is wonderful. The set designers did wonderfully and it feels so timeless in the way that the Animated Series did as well. I think that’s part of the reason why I loved this show so much. It made me feel the same way that the Animated Series did.

I know I’ve missed a lot of details and plot lines, so if for some reason you are interested in my thoughts on a particular thing in this show, my inbox is open!!

[headofhelios]

For the ask thing: I can’t imagine shipping the invisible man 1933 with anyone but I do want to hear your invisible man 1933 thoughts. Also the T-1000 if you want!

oh ABSOLUTELY i'm doing both!!!

'33 INVISIBLE MAN

How I feel about this character DR. JACK GRIFFIN MY BELOVED!!! MY BESTIE!!! he's SUCH a neurotic little weirdo and i love him. the original transgender mad scientist. the origin of guys with fucked up unhinged laughs (his laugh inspired the joker laugh!!!). when he rocks back and forth and clenches his fists? I Get It. when he said "Even the MOON is frightened of me! Frightened to death! THE WHOLE WORLD is FRIGHTENED TO DEATH!" YES! KING! WE LOVE YOU!!

All the people I ship romantically with this character OKAY i also cannot imagine like . Shipping him w characters BUT that said his relationship w flora is pretty cute (his little "oh! you're wearing that hat, the one i always loved on you :)"... cute... also the way hes only normal around her and does everything to try to give her a good life... he's sweet i enjoy him)

My non-romantic OTP for this character see this is hard because he has like. no friends ucbdjfbfhf BUT he and flora would still be so so so sweet as besties!!! and there IS something about his line to kent about Why he left to finish his invisibility solution in another village ("i couldnt bear for you to see me fading away like that" or something) IS sweet and i feel like on jack's side it was a very important, close friendship (but i feel like kent thought much less of it just based on how quickly he wants to make a move on flora when jack's missing.) OH AND IF WE WANT TO GET INSANE W IT. i feel like he and herbert west could be besties. or they'd try to maim one another.

My unpopular opinion about this character ARE THERE ANY OPINIONS ON HIM? um you know what actually i'm probably the only person in the world who headcanons him as a trans man. like idk he has the same "trying to be god" thing that local tboy swag haver herbie w. has plus personally i attribute my Wanting-To-Be-Invisible as a child to being transgender. so. also throughout the movie people are horrified by the thought of his invisible body something something peoples horror at trans bodies. this makes sense in my head i promise ♥️

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon I JUST WISH HE'D GET MORE ATTENTION... dr. jack griffin my favorite guy jack griffin... hm i do also wish there had been a few more scenes where his old self shines through, like the scenes with flora, but mostly i just want him to be appreciated hfjfhffh he's fun! he's a silly goose! he derails trains!

1995 T-1000

How I feel about this character MY GUY!!! he is my favorite boy. he is my bestie. he is me. he is everything i want to be. i am so insane about this guy. he transed my gender SO fucking hard when i watched t2 for the first time. if it were socially acceptable i would name myself t-1000. i wish i were joking

All the people I ship romantically with this character the rev-9. i'm only half joking about this. ik ik the popular thing is him and the t-800 whatever i dont see it. him and the rev-9 though? Yes. Yes. fucked up robot boyfriends will make each other worse will murder people with knife arms as a date. liquid metal terminators stay together babe!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character i have a whole post t2 au but basically: i want him to be hate-besties with the t-800 (the t-1000 wants to maim him so bad but also they understand each other on a lot of things) AND ALSO i want him to be john's other robot uncle but significantly less responsible. he rents horror movies for john and sneaks him into r-rated movies. also he has to be told several times not to murder children who are mean to john.

My unpopular opinion about this character ohhh man. oh man. honestly i think its kind of unpopular to post abt him on tumblr and NOT ship him w the t-800 but i just dont see it i dont GET ITTT i have TRIED. but i just dont see it im sorry 😔 and then off tumblr. if i tell the average terminator enjoyer that the t-1000 is transgender i feel like they might attack me. but i'm right. also some ppl seem to think that the t-1000 doesn't feel emotions even though it clearly does? it shows confusion @ the mall mannequin, it expresses shock + pain in the steel mill, "i know this hurts"... plus it goes out of its way to keep things it enjoys (using the motorcycle even when it would be faster to run up the stairs, keeping the biker boots + pants on after switching outfits) and thats not even getting into the fact that the molecular brain is SO human.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon OH BOY. okay part of me understands WHY it was cut and appreciates the decision to cut it. but also part of me does still wish that the scene wherein the t-1000 locates an encampment of the connors allies and kills them all like some fucking slasher villain had at LEAST made it as far as the scriptwriting stage!!! give me my horror scenes in terminator movies!!!

[darkshadow90]

Joker: My thoughts on Arthur Fleck

Hey guys. I’ve made a few posts about Arthur already, but I wanted to make another one. I love the Joker movie. I think Todd Phillips and the writers did a great job at writing an intriguing character that works as part of a Joker story or a possible origin story for the Joker. I think Arthur is an interesting take on the Joker because he’s so different from other interpretations. I think he can be really hard to pin down sometimes. I don’t think Arthur was maliciously evil, at least not at the beginning. I saw a post from @another-day-in-chuckletown talking about Arthur’s morality and I thought it was interesting. So I thought I’d share my thoughts too. But she’s probably better at putting things into words than I am. So anyway here we go with another meta post. Yay!

So in the beginning we can see that Arthur has a lot of issues. He’s dealing with mental illnesses and living in dire poverty. Neither one of those things are easy to live with, but both combined are no doubt a fucking nightmare. He’s trying to get help. He’s doing everything he can. He’s taking his medications and going to therapy. He knows it’s not “normal” to do the things he does. Things like stalking, and, well, killing people. As odd as it might seem to read this from me, but one of the most interesting things I find about Arthur is he seems somewhat childlike and doesn’t understand social cues, but at the same time he’s aware that his behavior in social situations is creepy and weird to other people. So I do think he’s somewhat self aware.

Arthur doesn’t know how to approach people so he just stands there awkwardly or he follows them. And it makes sense because he’s clearly been socially isolated for most of his life. He had no one to teach him proper social skills and boundaries. But I do wonder about his past experiences socializing with others because he’s aware he makes people uncomfortable. I think Arthur is smarter than he lets on. He apologized to Thomas Wayne because he knew he crossed a line. He even said he didn’t mean to cause trouble or make him uncomfortable he just wanted answers. And he also knew when he imagined Sophie coming to his apartment asking if he was following her that she would be creeped out when he said yes. He had a look of guilt when he said “yeah” He knew it wasn’t the best way to go about talking to her. Like I said, I think he’s smarter than he lets on. But even with all his struggles and all the bad things that happened to him, I don’t think he’s particularly a good person.

The only people we see Arthur kill are the people who hurt him or wronged him in some way. We’re not really meant to feel sorry for them because most of them are just assholes. I do feel bad about Penny that one upset me. Regardless of the context, of wether or not she lied to him and allowed abuse to happen or not, it was still upsetting that he killed a helpless person. In general, I don’t like scenes in movies where animals and helpless people are killed. That shit is really upsetting to me. So yeah didn’t like that part. Anyway, it doesn’t make him the well meaning guy we think he is. I actually thought it was pretty fucked up that he was opening up to the clerk in Arkham about what he did. It’s fucked up because he knows what he did was wrong and he’s happy about it. He knows what’s right and wrong.

For most of the movie, Arthur doesn’t hurt random people for no reason. He doesn’t do bad things for the sake of doing bad things. He has a code. He only hurts “awful” people or people who wronged him. I think he would feel bad if he hurt an innocent person. He didn’t hurt Gary and I’m very glad for that, but he felt bad that he scared him so badly. He felt bad that Gary saw him kill someone in such a brutal way. He knew Gary would be even more upset if he saw Randall’s body. So he said, “Don’t  look, just go.”  And then he jumped out and scared him so he wouldn’t look at the body as he was leaving. That scene makes me think Arthur doesn’t like to see innocent people hurt or upset. Up until the end of the movie, I was thinking this take on the Joker was kind of like an anti hero. He only kills bad people.

I find it interesting when Arthur is about to go on the Murray show he tells Murray he doesn’t believe in anything, but then when he confesses to killing the Wall Street guys, he rants about how society treats poor people and mentally ill people like shit, and hold the rich up on a pedestal. He talks about how no one has any empathy for other people, and he’s upset about it, rightfully so. So he clearly does care about and believe in something. Why else would his rant be so passionate? Also, Arthur killing Murray isn’t quite as spontaneous as we think. If you look and listen closely, after Murray tells Arthur not everyone is awful, Arthur says, “You’re awful, Murray.” He literally told Murray he was gonna kill him.

I write different stories about Arthur. I write both fluff pieces and I also write darker pieces where he’s further along his transition into the Joker, and I’ve written a few based on the persona we see in Arkham (I like to call him Arkham Joker because he is the Joker at that point.) My fluff pieces are based on what Arthur would be like if he had someone positively affecting his life and he was getting the help he needed and didn’t become the Joker. My darker pieces focus on the darker aspects of his personality and the persona in Arkham because I like to explore those aspects of his character. I feel really bad for Arthur. I want to believe that if he had just one person aside from Gary who cared about him in his life he would be the person he was in the beginning, but unfortunately he isn’t that person anymore. I feel bad for him, but I hate what he does.

Now, I’ve talked about the persona we see in Arkham and the end of the movie a bunch of times. That scene fucks with me every time I see it. I love it because it’s pure Joker, and it’s probably the best Joker moment in the whole movie. It makes my anxiety skyrocket, too. @another-day-in-chuckletown touched on it in her post. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed the sudden change in his personality. It was jarring to see Arthur like that. He was suddenly much more malicious and had a dangerous presence that he didn’t have at any other point in the movie.  He was genuinely laughing without pain which was unsettling and when he suddenly stopped laughing and said, “You wouldn’t get it” I got very, very worried and immediately started shouting in my head “Get out of there! You’re not safe!” And then as he’s singing That’s Life and the way he’s staring at the psychiatrist and grins at her with those cold, dead eyes, I was like “Why are you still sitting there?! Go now!” I was scared for her. I was and still am genuinely afraid of him in that scene. The look in his eyes and facial expressions are the look of someone who is about to do a very bad thing or he’s thinking about about doing something bad to her. Wether or not he killed the psychiatrist is open to interpretation. I think it’s possible he did. He is full on Joker in that scene. It’s glorious and terrifying.

The man sitting there is a mystery. I always find myself wondering who he really is because he so different from Arthur and even the Joker we saw on the Murray Franklin show. The psychiatrist doesn’t refer to him by name, so Arthur might not be his real name. So I agree with Catherine’s post. It’s almost like the man we came to know over those two hours is a persona he made up and the man we see in Arkham is the real Joker, who he actually is. Smug, condescending, calculating, detached, malevolent, vain, petty, and narcissistic. I just get the feeling he’s a huge asshole, not as sympathetic as Arthur.

I’ve talked with some of you about this before and I know we have our own opinions and that’s totally fine. It’s what makes the ending so great. It’s whatever you want it to be. I still don’t see Arthur in him. Arthur wasn’t like him. It’s possible he could’ve been on drugs in that scene, but I doubt it. I think it’s safe to say since Gotham is a shit hole, Arkham is an underfunded hellhole. It’s understaffed, and there could be people working there that shouldn’t be. They probably don’t have enough resources to properly treat patients, and “Arthur” could be being mistreated. But I think he was actually pretty lucid in that scene. Given that he’s the Joker, I think that psychiatrist would’ve wanted him as lucid as possible so she could interview him. It would’ve been a huge career opportunity for her. I don’t think her using the Joker as an opportunity to advance her career would bother him. The Joker loves being in the spotlight and talking about himself. The whole movie is about him and told from only his perspective, so he’s probably okay with it. But whatever the case, I still think the man we see in Arkham is not Arthur. He’s the Joker. God, I love how this movie fucks with me and still makes me question everything even though I’ve seen it so many times. Best ending ever.

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

JKR 2: BRC 1

Joker x Reader

Word Count: 1921

Summary: You love him, that much is obvious, but now Wayne is being flirty suddenly.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Alas, the much awaited sequel to JKR. At some point I got an ask for a sequel, but I literally cannot find it, so … Here it is! There will be more posting randomly as I get it out. Unlike my other series, I’ve got nothing like an outline, so I have no idea how long this is gonna be or when I’m gonna be posting it.

One of your favorite parts of being a mercenary was the fact that it was extremely rare for you to have to be a functioning human on Monday mornings. It was a perk you hadn’t really expected, but you absolutely loved sleeping in while the rest of the world crawled out of bed to begin another shitty work week. That alone almost made it worth it to put up with all the nonsense you handled day to day. And since you’d gotten involved with the joker, you’d even gotten to enjoy the addition of a warm body next to yours seeing how he shared your philosophy on those mornings. 

So when you woke up naturally one Monday morning several months since agreeing to work with Joker, you were more than a little annoyed. The irritation was only slightly alleviated when you started to really observe your surroundings and realized that Joker was currently playing big spoon with you and clinging to you like a child with a beloved toy. That, at least, was a sweet bonus to waking this early. A little smile formed on your face despite yourself. You could feel his breath on your bare shoulder, softly puffing every now and then in his sleep; the rhythm of it could almost put you to sleep.

And then your bladder made itself known. 

The annoyance promptly came roaring back.

Getting out of bed was a whole little challenge in and of itself due to the way he was clinging to you, but you somehow managed to escape without waking him. When you glanced back at the bed and saw the fearsome Clown Prince of Crime cuddled up to your pillow and snuggled under your covers, your heart gave a hard thump. Try as you might, it was steadily becoming harder to deny that you’d somehow developed feelings–real, deep feelings–for the madman. Every day you tried not to think about it because of how unlikely it was for him to reciprocate, but seeing him so vulnerable–without makeup and with green hair so faded it was almost completely back to its normal dishwater blond–made some part of you swoon. He trusted you enough to be so unguarded, and that was enough for you … mostly. Part of you still craved someone to talk seriously with, but you were content enough even without it. Or so you told yourself.

Sighing, you shook off the emotions and picked up his grey, patterned shirt from the day before. Problems for another day, you supposed.

Once your bodily functions were taken care of, you quietly stalked your way into the kitchen. Clearly, you weren’t going back to sleep anytime soon, so you might as well make a coffee. Maybe that would somehow help you tame your unwelcome feelings.

Clearly the answer was a big, fat “No,” since, as you were returning to the bedroom, you got distracted with how cut he was while you were in the doorway, mug clasped between your hands. You allowed yourself a moment to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and pretend that the two of you were just normal people.

Then, true to Gotham’s nature, it all came shattering down when you heard the telltale scratching of someone picking a lock. Specifically the lock on your front door. The switch in your mindset to Business Mode was instantaneous. Your world seemed to sharpen as you slowly eased the bedroom door closed; it would be quite bad if your suspicion about the intruder was true and he saw your houseguest. Your hand tightened around the mug, ready to throw the scalding liquid in an instant if threatened.

An angry scoff left your lips when you recognized the head of brown hair that peaked inside your apartment once the door was unlocked. “You’re really making me regret my decision against getting a guard dog, Mr. Wayne.”

You absolutely hated how dashing his ensuing smirk made him. “As busy as you are? Probably not the best idea.” Unlike the last time he broke in, he wasn’t dressed like he came from a trust fund soiree; instead, he was in a more casual ensemble of dark jeans, a dark shirt, and a leather jacket with red trim.

“Any particular reason you’re breaking into my home today or were you just hoping I was still asleep so you could peep?”

“I have to say no. That’s not exactly my style.” A thump from the bedroom halted whatever excuse he had for this breaking and entering episode.

Your heart gave its second hard thump for the morning, this one out of fear instead of love. Leveling Wayne with a harsh glare, you ordered, “Stay put.”

“Of course.”

Mug still clenched in your hand, you quickly retreated back to the bedroom. Based off the sight that greeted you, you could only assume that the noise was Joker grabbing his pants off the chair and inadvertently throwing the knife from his pocket into the floor. “You good?” you asked the obviously-groggy man.

“I heard voices. What’s going on?”

“Don’t you normally hear voices?” you teased in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“No. And you know that,” he deadpanned. His tongue started flicking as his irritation aggravated the tick.

“I’ve got an unwelcome guest again,” you stated, deciding that blunt was probably better than finesse.”

“Wayne?”

“Yes, so you’re going to stay here while I deal with him.”

“Should I be … jealous?”

“Fuck no. Can’t stand the bastard.” Well that was a bit of a lie. As much as the richboy infuriated you, he also acted as a constant source of amusement. “But I don’t want him knowing anything else about me if I can avoid it. Be a good boy and stay here, and I’ll let you have your wicked way with me later.”

“You’ll let me do that anyway.” He was right and he knew it. There was a long pause as you stared each other down. You could practically see his brain working over his options until he finally exhaled heavily. “Fine. I’m too tired for this, anyway.”

For once, his exhaustion worked to your advantage instead of making him intolerable. “Thank you. I’ll be back in a few.”

“I await with bated breath.”

The Joker handled, you slunk back out to deal with the unmasked Batman; part of you realized that Gotham City Police would love to be in your position. Both men, vulnerable with identities out in the open? They’d probably kill for it. You, however, were just tired of today already.

When you returned to the living room, Bruce had once again made himself at home on your couch. “Boyfriend?” he questioned, eyebrow raised.

“Something like that.”

“He’s got interesting taste,” he commented with a little gesture towards your body.

You raised an eyebrow. Sure, it wasn’t exactly your style, but, “You’re one to talk. Enough of the questions, Mr. Wayne. Why are you here?”

“I need a date for a gala I have to go to tonight.”

Your eyebrows now shot up almost to your scalp. “And you came to me? First off, I don’t like you, so what the fuck? Second, you don’t like me, so what the fuck? Third, do you honestly expect me to believe that you couldn’t get a date? And for that matter–”

“Relax, Y/N. I’m hiring you for a job. I need a distraction, and I hear you’re the best.”

“Awfully short notice. What if I don’t have anything to wear?”

“Already have that handled. Come by my penthouse at six.”

“And payment?”

“Half now, half after. Check your bank account; money’s already there.”

“You’re damn sure that I’m gonna do this, aren’t you.”

“You’re curious, you want to know what I’m up to, and you always get the job done if you’re being paid for it.” He was smirking again and heading for the door as he said that. “See you tonight.”

“Bastard,” you spat at the door the second it was closed. Already, you wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed and stay there for the rest of the day and it was only …  8:13 according to the clock on the wall.

Resigned to your fate for the coming evening, you retreated back to the bedroom. This time, you didn’t even pause to admire your lover’s form splayed across the bed. You did notice that his eyes were staring at you as you approached, though, and gave him a small smile.

“Got a job tonight with the hunky rich boy, huh?” he teased while rolling onto his stomach and kicking his feet up like a girl in a movie about a slumber party. “Am I just not, uh, doin’ it for ya anymore, dollface?”

“Fucker didn’t exactly give me much of a choice, did he?” you sniped right back. “Scoot over; you’re in my spot.” 

His response was to flop back over onto his back and pat his lap. “You’re mine now, remember? I was a proper gentleman and hid away while you talked to your suitor.”

“He is not–” You were cut off by him tugging you down to straddle him. “My suitor,” you finished, doing your best to sit on him with some modicum of dignity.

“Oh, you don’t have to lie to me, sweetheart. He’s quite, uh, dreamy.” He cackled. “Any chance you could convince him to join us in here sometime?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry, J. I don’t think he’d go for it.” Especially considering the whole nemesis thing … “You’re just stuck with me, I’m afraid.”

“Ah well, have fun for the both of us, my dear,” he shrugged. His fingers suddenly halted their attempts to unbutton your (his?) shirt; alarmingly, you hadn’t even noticed him doing that. “Why did Brucy know what it is you do for a living anyway?”

Fortunately, you knew that question was likely to come up months ago, so you’d long ago thought of an excuse. “Did a job cleaning up one of those trust fund brigade’s messes after a particularly nasty party–”

“Ooh!”

“–and that apparently got me on his radar.”

“Never a dull day for a mercenary.”

“Or a madman,” you teased right back. “But be that as it may, I’m gonna enjoy having you all to myself until I have to go to that stupid party.”

“Never a dull day, indeed!” he cheered. “But for real, you gotta get a video or somethin’ if you fuck him tonight.”

You rolled your eyes even as you tugged at his boxers. It was an interesting thought. While you had first priority on the Joker when he was off the clock and a serious case of feelings for the clown, you were under no illusions that this was an exclusive thing. Physically, you sated each other easily. Emotionally, you were all the Joker needed (or wanted, for that matter), but he wasn’t crazy enough to think that he satisfied all of your needs. The whole comforting thing specifically was a weakness of his. You’d discussed all this (excluding the whole love issue) months ago at your insistence since you had no desire to earn the Joker’s wrath by having an affair.

Shoving all that aside, you just scoffed. “That man is infuriating.”

“And he has a crush on you. I can tell. We madmen have a … sixth sense for these things. Besides, the flirting was painfully obvious even from in here.”

“I’m not fucking Bruce Wayne.”

“Right. You’re fucking me!” Another hysterical cackle.

“Well …” you grinned, “I’m about to be, anyway.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #318

“what can you do, where can ya go, when your mama is a burnout, and your daddy is a pyro?”

Do you have your ears pierced more than once? Yeah. Do you use an electric toothbrush? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? Oh, I have no idea. That's something I avoid like the plague because I loathe my body. When was the last time you got high? Never. Do you get along with your parents? Yeah. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No, I don't fuck with that stuff. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don't answer numbers I don't recognize to begin with. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? Nooooo. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot of 'em. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Have you ever walked through a forest at night on your own? Uh, no sir. When was the last time you were in a graveyard? It's been many, many years. Do you know what an ‘AMV’ is? Yep, used to make 'em. How many items are in your recycle bin? (On your computer!) Oh yikes, probably loads. I haven't emptied it in... I don't know how long. Would you rather be a bird or a fish? A bird. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? Joker. Heath Ledger's is my favorite. Have you ever had a pet rock? No. How much do you weigh? Yeah, no. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Taking nature photographs. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don’t do roller coasters to begin with. Have you ever gone in a sauna? Ugh, hell no. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Are you attracted to people outside of your race? Yes. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Best cough drop? Those creamy strawberry ones. If you have a pet, does it make a lot of noise? One's a snake, so she's silent as could be. My cat is generally quiet, but he has his times where he just walks around meowing, normally for attention. Are you a fan of eyeshadow? If I actually wear makeup, yeah, I like black eyeshadow. Can you tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi? Absolutely. I don't like Pepsi. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, didn't feel weird. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? A Silent Hill poster. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yeah, as a kid. What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? Brown. What was the title of the last song you listened to? So today I've really been digging dark synthwave/cyberpunk-ish music, and right now I have a playlist on that's currently playing "DNA War" by Absolute Valentine and Billy Mays. How far away is the closest Walmart? Not even five minutes. Can you do a backflip? No. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Well, Ozzy is the lead singer of Ozzy Osbourne, haha. When was the last time you went fishing? Not since Sara visited and we went catfishing with my dad one night. What brand of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? My mom, lmaoooo. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Also my mom, haha. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Juan's maybe like... 28 or something by now, idk. Have you ever run a stoplight? No. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? YIKES, no. That sounds miles beyond awkward. Are both your parents still living? Yeah, thankfully. What’s something that makes you feel more creative? Music, for sure. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I do find those super cute. What gives you a quality of life? Not much nowadays, idk. What would give you a high quality of life? A sense of purpose, direction, and worth. Do you have any rugs on top of carpet in your home? We have a big one in our living room, yes. I don't get it. Do you have a mattress cover on your bed? Yeah. Do you hate taking naps during the day? No; naps are normal for me. Who has the best personality on YouTube? Maybe I'm biased, but I genuinely do think Mark for a multitude of reasons. He's just extremely likable imo and sincerely a fucking spectacular human being. Do you have any vinyl records? No, but I would love to collect classic rock and metal ones. Which serial killer(s) do you find most fascinating? I'm quite honestly not well-informed in serial killer stories. I think they're interesting, but not enough for me to learn about them. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's fuckin dope. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? ALL OF THEM AHHHH!!!!! But I particularly love learning about social animals, like meerkats (mongoose in general, really), African wild dogs, wolves, etc. What are your thoughts on gun control? I don't support the idea of banning firearms altogether, but I am very much in favor of some reform. There needs to be a much, much more strict and complex system in order for you to legally own a gun, and I also support periodic "check ups" to ensure you still fit whatever criteria is laid out. "Bad people will still find guns;" yes, some most certaintly will, but you can't convince me that the numbers wouldn't decrease. It would take a serious villain to put so much effort into pursuing obtaining a firearm. Do you like animals better than most humans? Sure do. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I've blocked people to prevent that. If you collect anything, what is your favorite piece of that collection? I cherish the plush meerkat Jason gave me most, probably; out of my Silent Hill stuff, the limited edition Revelation flyer I have in Japanese. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? Hi, meet my best friend lmao. Are there any musicians you didn’t like at first, but grew on you? Probably. Do you have any favorite books you’d like to have signed by the author? Not really. Well wait, Ozzy signing my copy of his autobiography would be pretty damn cool. Do you like any board games or card games? I'm not really a board game fan, but Magic: The Gathering is fun as far as card games go. What historical figure(s) are you most interested in? I'm not incredibly interested in any, but I do think Pharaoh Hatshepsut was a bad bitch. She was one of the extremely few female pharaohs, and if my memory serves me right, one of the most successful. Do you like Breaking Benjamin? I sure do. How many people of the opposite sex have you told you loved them? One. Have you ever had to change your phone number? Yes, because I was getting strange texts from numbers I didn't know. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. What’s your favourite comic book/graphic novel? I don’t read any. What is something you take pride in? How far I've come as far as my mental illnesses go, particularly depression and PTSD. What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I'm not getting up to go look. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No; I hate lettuce on burgers, so. What brand is your vaccuum cleaner? Dunno. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Sure, but I don't believe it's a must for everyone. Plenty of people don't even want to get married. Be intimate once you're comfortable with the person, and be safe and smart about it. Are you for or against abortion? I'm pro-choice. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? It's fact that I need to. My body just doesn't want to, afuckingpparently. All I seem to be capable of is either maintain or gain nowadays. Is summer your favorite season? It's my least favorite, actually. Do you wear glasses? I'm basically blind without 'em. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? Yeah, in German. What do you want out of life? To feel like I made a difference, even if it's a small one. Do you ever get carsick? No. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore, no. Have you ever liked someone who treated you badly? No. When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Oh boy, probably not since I had my cyst in I think '16. I was in so much agony and we had no painkillers, so I had to wake up Mom to go to Walmart to grab some. They barely even helped at all. God, I couldn't imagine dealing with that again. Were your last two kisses with the same person? Yes. Do you have alcohol in your house? I don't think we do right now, no. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? Yeah; I don't wear anything that shows my legs unless I shaved, but I will never wear a dress that isn't at least past my knees. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? Avril Lavigne was/is an ICON. I still think she looks badass. So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say the opposite, but I say "gif" now. Apparently that's how the creator of the term says it anyway. When you are invited to things like wedding showers or baby showers do you tend to go or skip? What about graduation parties? If Mom is able to take me, I'll try to go to the first two if they're my closer friends. Do you like spicy chips? Oh FUCK yes. What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? Elf with Sara's fam. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. Dad's, only the month. Do you read your friends' surveys? Yep, I love learning about them. Do you know anyone with a glass eye? Not to my knowledge, no. Do you ever use the n-word? Absolutely not. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I tend to like lip piercings. Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? Chicken. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah, multiple times as a kid, "camping" in the yard with Dad, haha. What do you call your grandparents? I called both sets just "Grammy" and "Grampa." Have you ever cried while reading a book? Oh, certainly. How many college degrees do you want? I got none, and I'm not going back to college. Do you know how to play pool? What about foosball? Yes. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey with my dad a few times. Do you own any jerseys? No. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; that's why I had braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Maybe like... Victor. Idk. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a soup person. Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Yeah. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? My pre-teen and teenage years house: in the woods on a dead-end road and down a gravel path that everyone always missed when learning where our house was. The actual road itself had very, very little traffic, and there was a large expanse of cotton fields. I loved it and miss the house itself, but it's got a lot of bad memories rotting in it. Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? My niece and nephew. <3 Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. We barely interact at all. Does one side of your family live in another state? Literally none of my extended family (or half-siblings) live in NC. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No. Is there a good hospital where you live? God no. It is notoriously awful. When was the last time you were asked out? Did you accept or decline? Mid-2017. I aceepted. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? N/A Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? Yeah. Probably white/ivory or black. Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? No, I don't like the texture. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? Probably not. What’s your favorite amusement park? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Do you play video games? If so, what kind? Yeah. My favorite are horror games, but I also love me some story-driven survival games like The Last of Us, and then there's "kids" games like Spyro, etc. I like a looot of different kinds. Would you buy used clothes? I don't think so. I know it's easy to wash clothes and stuff, I'd just still feel kinda... grossed out by it.