#i also feel like this in the limbo of being Too Revealing & Not revealing Enough 2 post in the nsfs tags. head in hands

[pupplaylogan]

🚫 MINORS DNI 🚫

Roman in lingerie that I thought were too revealing for main, but nothing is showing

Image 1 link

Image 2 link

[vickyvicarious]

Mina might transcribe on this when she wakes up and gets up to date on October 26th

Just pasting in the anon who wrote me an ask about this as well, since it's all the same topic:

Now I am curious too about when Mina transcribed this! It might be revealed in future entries but I can't remember. But my guess is not before they leave because Mina doesn't want her eyes or ears to reveal to Dracula anything. Maybe she could do it during dawn or dusk but those times are restricted for hypnosis...

See, the issue with Mina transcribing is that for now at least, Jack is presumably still recording his entries on wax cylinders. Certainly the end (the first end) of today's reads like someone else transcribing him getting choked up and unable to talk, rather than him writing down his own difficulty continuing. I mean, we don't have to assume - we know that is the case, because he says his voice fails him.

And I don't think they are in any way counting on Dracula not being able to read her mind during dawn/dusk - or even if they did think he can't, she would still remember and he might be able to access those thoughts. They don't know, so they're gonna play it safe and they certainly won't tell her. So they wouldn't give her access to any documents during her brief moments of freedom even aside from it being reserved for hypnotism sessions.

The 28th is likely the first time she can access any new documents from between October 5 till the ban on telling her things is dropped. And funnily enough, there aren't actually a lot of documents she's missing. A total of 9 in all that time, mostly covering particulars of what they know of where Dracula is. This is important to hide from him in the moment still, but it's not a ton for her to catch up on, especially since most notes are short. She could probably type them all up that same day without any trouble.

Except for Jack's recordings. These aren't on paper that can be just casually carried along; they are recorded onto wax cylinders. Would they take those too? The question leaves his entries from October 5 and 11 in a sort of limbo. This one in particular only covers his impression of the conversation Mina led, and so it would probably be fine for her to type it up since it doesn't contain anything she wasn't there for, but would they tell her that? Would they report it to her and let her type it up before they leave? ...I see a couple options:

Mina types both. October 11 she transcribes the day of or shortly after, before they leave the country. The October 5 cylinder is taken along with them and she listens to and types it on the 28th.

Mina types both. They're both brought along with them and she listens to/types them both on the 28th.

Someone else (likely Jonathan?) transcribes them both. Probably shortly after they are made, or just before everyone leaves the country, and he brings the transcriptions along with them.

No one transcribes them until after everyone is back in England, mid-to-late November. Someone (likely Mina) organizes the final accounts then. Possibly not that month even... there is a seven-year gap before the epilogue and while I don't think it took anywhere near that long to fit these documents in, she may not have jumped right to it immediately.

I feel like, given Jonathan's interest in making sure a record is kept for Mina, it's possible he did make the effort to transcribe these two entries and bring them along. But then again nothing else seems to have been typed/compiled, so maybe he just made sure the record was kept somehow and left the compilation for later.

I also instinctively doubt they brought wax cylinders on their trip (it just feels like they'd be too delicate? but that may just be me overthinking and they are traveling to nice hotels at least initially, so there should be a phonograph there to use if they want to listen), though if they did that leaves the awkward possibility of Jack crying here being played aloud in a hotel room for potentially everyone to hear. It would give the swiftest access to the information within, though.

Honestly, I'm not sure. I feel like the first option is least likely, but I could see the argument for any of them.

[sea-buns]

not really, but I suppose that’s just a difference of opinion. I do think that gorgug’s nightmare sequence was one of the weakest, especially with how it shifted topics (being dead, small spaces, not being able to escape a stereotype, because if any of these had been expanded on that would’ve been great), but I do think a lot of gorgug’s character revolves around feeling in-between, or too much one thing and not another and trying to close that gap. The best one for me was deffo the sphinx tho, I interpreted it as not *just* about him being dumb, but rather like. You’re big and dumb and strong and your main job is getting angry and hitting shit with an axe. You went to a community of gnomes and they gave you a better axe, and you loved it. You are uniquely dumb, unlike those who have come before you, because you cannot solve a specific kind of puzzle while a sphinx talks at you. You are the reason your parents cut contact, and from the beginning you were unsuited for their home. Your extended family predicted that you would grow to know only rage, and here you are, a barbarian. You, from this perspective, are not proving them wrong.

I do think that that whole sequence does reveal that he’s afraid of like. Being that stereotype? And then going yeah sure I’m stupid eat me, then moving forward and clawing your way into understanding anyways

Ahhh I see. Yeah I think I did misunderstand your first ask a bit lol

I did really love a lot of the topics his sequence brought up. Like I've read some incredibly well-written fanfics that covered the ways that claustrophobia, and imposter syndrome, and being dead have affected him. But like you said, if they had just honed in on at least one, rather than hopping back and forth, it could have done so much for that section. Cuz, personally, I don't feel like we saw Gorgug be significantly affected by any of those. At least not in a way that felt complete and satisfying.

I really like what you said about his character being "in-between". I totally agree. Kinda circles back to how his parents trying to help him calm his rage was actually stifling him.

Your family needs you to calm down; you've broken another bedchairdoorappliance. Your teacher wants you to rage; he says anger is good but you don't understand. You sing to try and calm yourself, you're always trying to be kind to others; they only use it to hurt you more and all you can do is get angry back. Your friends need you to rage. You don't have the power to protect them socially, but this you can do. You try not to rage outside of a fight, but.... they don't seem to be that bothered when you do. In fact, you watch them provoke physical confrontation when they're mad on many occasions.

(Oops dipped a biiiit into the pot of how important friendship is to his character. Did not mean to lol it's just one of my fav things about him so it's kinda subconscious I guess)

But yeah! He's also in such a limbo this season as well! You can't do this you're too angry, you're not smart enough for that, you don't rage right.

Also realllyy like your interpretation of his trial. The angle you described it at was really interesting.

I don't think stereotype is the right word, though. I would say... he's afraid of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy? I'm assuming based on your own "stereotype?" that you weren't sure about the word either.

I don't think Gorgug is, or would ever be, afraid of being a "stereotype". Like I don't think he gives a shit about the stereotype that orcs/half-orcs/barbarians only know anger and destruction. I think he's afraid of being a self-fulfilling prophecy of all the things people say that he is. Stupid, mindless, destructive, etc. To pull from what you said here (which it wont let me copy paste on mobile god fucking damnit)

"Your extended family predicted that you would grow to know only rage, and here you are, a barbarian. You, from this perspective, are not proving them wrong."

"Stereotype" for sure applies to his racist extended family. They fucking breathe stereotypes like oxygen. But the bit where his afraid of becoming what everyone says he is, I think "self-fulfilling prophecy" suits that much better. He believes he can be more than that, he knows he can, but it doesn't change the fact that they are technically right.

Okay and the giving in but then "clawing your way into understanding anyways" actually goes so hard lol. Anon, you are so right. From that pov, it's not so much a give up as it is an acknowledgment before he essentially puts the subject on ice.

Rings back a bit to the start of fhjy to me. That dread of seeing the email of school starting back up again, and the terrible sinking pit in your stomach of avoidance, because the time has come to really unpack all that. There was something specific Zac said in his little Gorgug recap before the season started that was about, like, the dread of having to figure out who the fuck you're gonna be when everyone around you seems to have their shit together. That. That hit hard lmao but the experience that he's covered is very true to Gorgug, I think.

I totally misunderstood your first ask! Though I'm happy you sent another cuz I understand a lot better, I think. And tbh I've never had the opportunity to discuss that section of fantasy high with anyone? I wasn't on tumblr or watching d20 when it first aired so I missed these specific topics. Always been v interested in what others thought of his part. Maybe I should put the vods on in the bg next time I'm play sdv. Give em a relisten. And man. The fact that I'm out here quoting your message brings me back to english class so hard. Shocked I don't hate it. Actually having a topic you give half a shit about does wonders huh lmao

Thanks for the ask! You have altered my perspective and I appreciate it. It's like how sometimes you gotta read something out loud to understand it. If all I have is the walls of my own skull, I can only get so far.

[toughaqua777]

Homestar Runner + SCP, Because Why Not?

Okay for context there was a post I can't find anymore that went like “Everyone from Homestar Runner is One Singular SCP! They all share a containment unit and hate every second of it!” and that got me thinking way too hard and even though I’m not an expert on SCP or anything I decided “So what would the classifications and all that be if that were the case?” And I just kinda dumped everything here so here we go (also plz note these are just my opinions and I only have a surface level understanding of SCP stuff so...yeah)

Facility Type: There’s the Site (known to public under disguises) and Area (not known to public at all). Already we have a dilemma. Free Country USA is technically known about, but its location on a map is undetermined. I like to think that maybe it was meant to be an Area, but via the website word got out. So it’s kinda in a limbo of a classification. It probably still has the name Area, though, and I’ll get to why below.

Facility Prefix: A seemingly obvious choice was Xenobiological (need I explain why?). But there’s a problem. Again, Free Country USA is technically in, well, the USA. But at the same time, it’s not in the real world; it’s likely its own dimension (hence Area). And while some of these characters can appear humanoid and may even act like regular people, I don’t think there’s enough “human” in all of them combined to have the Humanoid prefix. Ultimately, I decided that the Area is Xenobiological & Dimensional, since it’s on a Earth, but not our Earth.

Now let’s get to the SCP itself (themselves?). Oh boy.

Containment Class: More than likely Euclid. Everyone there can act and think on their own, so that’s basically the default, and it doesn’t seem like they’ll be leaving their Earth for ours anytime soon. And/Or Esoteric, which brings us to the next section...

Secondary Class: Declassified. Hands-down. In case you don’t know what that means in this context: “Item has been revealed to the Foundation and/or public at large.” Look, they have their own website here. They have Flash cartoons. THEY HAVE A TWITTER. I think that’s enough said.

Clearance Level: Probably Level 1 [Unrestricted (US)]. I dunno, I just feel like at this point there’s no harm in knowing, since they’re Flash cartoons to us. Unless of course you count the knowledge of another Earth being an irl actuality warranting a higher Level, which it probably would; a Level 2 [Restricted (RS)] at least in that case.

Disruption Class: Either Dark or Vlam, but probably Dark. They aren’t dangerous to us, and they’re kinda already known by folks anyway. But then again, the knowledge of an alternate Earth actually existing would cause some alarm, hence why maybe Vlam.

Risk Class: Probably just Notice. Not much to say there.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

La Pluie Stray Thoughts

In the spirit of @bengiyo I will be stealing this format, mostly because I currently do not have time to do full analyses about hands and body language and trope subversions, but I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW.

Lomfon

So first of all shout out to my new best friend, Lomfon for having a level head and ensuring that Tien did not go running up the mountain and creating two people in need of rescuing. As an EMT, one of the first things you learn in training is that you need to make sure the scene is safe before you can treat a person in danger. If you dive in to the water to rescue someone drowning and you don't know how to swim, you now have two people drowning.

So cheers to Lomfon for being calm enough in this emergency to rein Tien back in. AND ALSO HELLO? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY LOMFON WAS GONNA RIDE OR DIE WITH TIEN IN THIS EPISODE??? Did Lomfon say "if you go up the mountain there will be more problems?" NO. NO HE DID NOT. He say "If you and I go up the mountain" he was not about to let Tien go anywhere alone.

And goodness me, I am so here for the juicy new reveal about Lomfon being able to hear both Patts and Tai. Great way to prove definitively that the soulmate connection is bullshit. (Either that or #throuple but it's not going that way, not with the way that Lom and Tien are heading).

__

Tien

Thank GOD we finally had a crack in the dam. This boy has been a ball of extremely well controlled energy for far far too long, and we have known it was bullshit from the beginning. I love this sibling dynamic so much. Tien loves Tai so much, he knows how fucked up Tai was about their parents divorcing and while we still don't really know if it messed with Tien or how badly the divorce messed with Tien, I love the confirmation and the way Lomfon got to see that there is far more depth to Tien than originally thought. I hope we get to see more of it, like most of the tumblr clowns, I think we might start shifting focus towards Lomfon and Tien's budding relationship as Lomfon, Patts, and Tai try to figure out their rain connection.

And I am *so* looking forward to seeing the comparisons between Tien and Lomfon's relationship to Patts and Tai's both in terms of knowing Lomfon is connected to Tien's brother, the limbo feeling Lomfon is starting to get stuck in, and the fact that the romance between Lomfon and Tien follows a much more natural progression/standard romance. They aren't in each other's heads, they would never know if they were meant for each other, and if something happens between them, Tien and Lomfon never have to see each other (or hear from each other again).

Also, I love the hug. Which hug? Both hugs. The way that Tien finally has support. Lomfon pulling him into him from behind and showing, telling, shouting at Tien that he is right there. And Tien relenting, turning and purposefully wrapping Lomfon in a hug. Like????? Also, the sibling relationship is written so well, Tai: "your lunch is over there because I don't care", Tien breaking down because he is so worried about Tai, then beating himself up because he didn't immediately think about the connection to the mountain, Tien hugging Tai so tightly and telling him to never do shit like that again, and then punching him in the leg. Superb.

__

Kung and Bow

They were holding hands in the tall grass when Patts came running back in asking about where Saengtai was, so I have unilaterally decided that means they fucked nasty. That's all.

__

Patts and Tai

Listen...listen....

LISTEN

I LOVE THEM. I love that they are being adults about this, that Tai wasn't jealous or angry, but just forced to confront his thoughts about what being a soulmate means. AND I LOVE THAT HE AND PATTS CONCLUDE TOGETHER THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THE SOULMATE THING IS REAL.

AND FURTHER, I LOVE THAT WE HAVE LOMFON BEING ABLE TO HEAR BOTH PATTS AND TAI LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY AFTER TAI AND PATTS HAVE DECIDED THAT WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE SOULMATES DIDN'T MATTER. I like the possibility that Lomfon may try to drop that as evidence, like an ace in his back pocket, and Patts and Tai being like "that's fine,". No angst or agonizing from Patts and Tai anyway. Tai already hit his breaking point and he and Patts talked about it like adults. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it.

I will probably go back and look at everything again, and analyze body language, and read too deeply in to every word of their conversation on the mountain, but for now my only thoughts are. I loved this episode, I loved this conversation, I loved the source of Tai's mountain journey, I loved Tien's break down, I loved Patts' patience, I loved their kisses, and where they are at the end of the day.

WE NEED TO BE GETTING LOUDER AND GAYER ABOUT LA PLUIE IMMEDIATELY

Edit: i have processed this episode and turned on my analysis brain so you can read my La Pluie Ep 8 meta here

[spellsword177]

Revisiting My Predictions for the Second Half of Agatha All Along

After Episode five, I put together a list of predictions as to where I thought the season was going. Now it’s just a matter of seeing how wrong I was.

1. I still stand behind my earlier assessment that Billy Kaplan was influencing, but not controlling the first two trials even if he was subconsciously doing it.

Like many others, I noticed it was strange how Billy was always in the middle of these trials and how the color blue always seems prominent.  I don’t think anyone predicted the Witches’ Road was just a con hatched by Agatha to steal magic over two and half centuries.  I’m not surprised it was all subconsciously done.  He is a Maximoff after all. I do find it interesting how the last few photos in the End Credits changed.  The child wearing a mask now has lifted up revealing a young William Kaplan (at around six or seven) dressed a witch being kissed by his mother on past Halloween.  Likewise, the last two photos are Bill Maximoff/William Kaplan’s room showing him as the creator of the Witches’ Road.

2. Billy has more secrets that will unfold in the next episode as we explore his history as well as Agatha and Rio's. Part of this was wishful thinking over episode six which would have been two hours long in this theory.  We did learn Billy’s backstory and how much he really knew about himself and his abilities.  Agatha’s secrets were much worse as always.

3. Regardless of whether it's true or not, Agatha believes Billy killed Sharon Davis, aka Mrs. Hart (Mr. Shart).

Yes, but no.  She believed Billy created the road and contributed to Sharon’s death, but not that he really killed her.  The long lost “Mr. Shart” will aways be amusing to me.

4. Billy and/or Rio will pull the other members out of the mud to continue on to the Air trial to take place in a castle. No one is feeling like playing nice anymore. This was largely what most people were predicting.  Interesting that the group was never quite whole again after the fourth trial.  I think this was mostly due to Rio (aka Lady Death) no longer feeling the need to play along as she finally knew the truth about Billy and how he created the Road. It was refreshing seeing Jen turn over a new leaf thanks to Lilia's influence

5. Lilia will die in her fairytale themed trial stabbed in the gut by one of the hanging Swords of Damocles or killed by a member of the Salem Seven while saving the others. It wasn’t too hard to see how Lilia was unlikely to survive her trial, but I’m pleased what actually happened was better than my prediction.  Episode seven was easily the best episode from the entire miniseries even though I’m slightly more partial to episode eight as my favorite.

6. Rio will reveal herself to be an agent true antagonist of the miniseries during the green trial seeming killing the remaining members of the coven [Agatha after she drained and killed both Billy and Jen without gaining their powers].

In the end, Agatha only killed Alice.  I believe Rio was responsible for the design of the Earth trial as it was not quite as detailed or imaginative as the other trials Billy clearly created.  The idea of a type of limbo was stretching it.

7. We will see Alice again as she awakens on the other side of the veil and is soon joined by the others. Wishful thinking based on previously released footage.  We did see Alice, but only long enough for her to follow Death into the afterlife. I'm sad we didn't get to see more from Alice, but accept that the dead cannot be brought back in this series. 8. Agatha will remove [restore] Billy's last block that has been preventing him from achieving his true potential [magic] at the mental institution trial that will appear in the final episode. This is potentially the afterlife [or purgatory] as Jen also appears. This was a misinterpretation of the images we saw involving the last trial.  In the end, she did help Billy, but he did the work of finding Tommy in the either and placing him in the body of a drowning Thomas Shepherd.  It released him from the Witches’ Road and enabled him to finally become Wiccan. I'm glad Jen was also able to become unbound. Not surprising the work Agatha would put in if the price is right.

9. The last battle will be Agatha Harkness and Wiccan squaring off against Death and Mephisto. The other witches may join them. I largely wasn’t wrong about the final battle, but I clearly fell down the Mephisto hole so many have done before.  This series was always about Billy, Agatha, and Death.

10. Rio may be released from Mephisto's control along with the other members of the coven, and the witches leave the road by crawling out the earth just outside of Westview starting with Jen.

This was just plain reaching on my part.  Death was never evil, just unhealthily obsessed with the wrong woman.  Agatha hated following the rules and hated Death for not being able to break them. This made them incompatible in the long run. I look forward to rewatching this series in the future and seeing what else may unfold in the Adventures of Billy and Agatha, Ghostwitch.

[masterskywalkers]

The Acolyte finished airing today and I can honestly say that having seen the last episode I find this show to be the most conflicted I have felt about a SW entry.

It truly is an example of 'interesting story, weak method of storytelling'. There is so much of this series I loved - the lightsaber battles, the cast and the characters, some of the ideas and reintroductions of past legends content (cortosis armour!) - however, there are weaknesses that show, and boy do they make things frustrating.

The Acolyte is yet another example of how these eight-episode structures don't work half the time. Whilst the Obi-Wan Kenobi show felt like it would have worked better as a movie, the Acolyte feels more like it would benefit from longer seasons, ones that would also lend well to a better story structure. The fact we had to sit through two of those eight episodes as flashbacks to the same events (told from a certain point of view) just felt like such a waste of time which the story could have used elsewhere to flesh out areas more. I've been saying to friends who are also watching the show for weeks now that the story could have been two seasons -- now three given what the last episode has shown. The first season should have been the Jedi investigating Brendok, trying to find the vergence that brought the planet back to life, discovering the sisterhood along with Osha and Mae, and ended with the events that lead to the Jedi being hunted. Season two should have been the hunting of the Jedi / reveal of Qimir, the truth of what Osha and Mae are, pressure on the Jedi council from the senate for the truth of what was going on / the want to investigate into the council, Osha's turn and Sol's death, and ended the way the last episode did. And season three onwards being whatever is to happen next with the search for Qimir and dark side adventures with Osha, Qimir and Plagueis (Plagueis, my guy, you really saw 'the rule of two' and just went 'I don't want that' didn't you? Love you, you freaky little cryptid sithlord). It's a shame, because there is so much to love about this show if it was structured correctly; the story is interesting and intriguing, giving so much weight to things like how Anakin came to be and how Plagueis found the power to influence and create life. The characters are great! - I was mostly annoyed at their deaths because they often felt too early, whereas another season would have been enough to build the connections to make those moments hit harder. Give us viewers reasons to care for losing these characters. The one I cared most about was Sol, and his death was impactful because you had been given enough time to learn who he was as a person.

The Acolyte also brings interesting questions forward that are often debated in fandom circles - one being just how are we supposed to see the Jedi Order? Are they the good guys who can do no wrong, or are they just as fallible as any other person, despite what they try to believe?

I dunno. Maybe it's just me. The Acolyte wasn't bad - I certainly don't understand the overreacting hate towards it - but it could also be better. I do not instantly dislike it the way I did The Last Jedi, but I do feel that for its strengths, it still has a lot of work to do to become a standout. Maybe, if it does get a second season, it'll earn that. But right now, I'm stuck in some weird limbo of wondering how much I actually enjoyed it. It does have some of the best lightsaber battles in Star Wars, though. There's no disputing that.

[moszeel]

hey so I finished chapter 1 of the SkaSpec Reverse AU fic

It’s not beta read since 1) I’m lazy 2) I’d never publish it cause I’d be trying to get it to be perfect.  maybe I’ll get chapter 2 out in another 6 months. Also I’m uploading this to Ao3 in a bit, so I’ll updated it with link when that happens. Please give me criticism I have no idea what I’m doing 

Rated Teen + Warnings for descriptions of blood and injuries

A vast ocean of stars sway and flicker in and out of Laurentina’s view. At least, she assumes that what they are. That’s what would make the most sense. Hmm, no. That can’t be right. To be seeing stars would mean she was on the surface, but just moments ago the unit was deep within the sea being crushed by waves of seaborn. It would make much more sense for this to be a trick. Perhaps I have died? Well, that was anticlimactic, she mused. Maybe this was her dying brain’s attempt at comfort. At the very least, this limbo made the pain subside. Letting eyelids slip close once again was but a matter of course. What will I tell captain?  how I bravely fought the seaborn till—

         A familiar sound. Waves. Crashing, but not against each other? Blinking out the remaining sea water leaves a dull sting, and the stars greet her once more. Though this time they look less like a painter’s timid splotches. For some reason, and really who is she to judge, she thought they’d look more, impressive. Foreign poets stated it as a gift bestowed from the very heavens. Singers would pour out their heart and soul trying to describe it. Gladdia said it was there. Hah

         Deep aches grip every muscle in her body. Usually in these situations the cold water would be soothing, However just the sea foam is enough to cause shivers. Hypothermia would be an even worse way to go. She lets out a sigh. Sooner or later she would have to check for injuries. Tis a rookie mistake to assume the aches were the worst of it.

           Let’s see if this truly is a dream. Deciding to start with the left wrist, she tries to turn it clockwise. In return, it continues to lay limply on... the sand. So, this is a beach. Well, that explains the water. Brushing this new found knowledge aside, she continues up the arm and up to the elbow. Still nothing. Shoulder, nothing. Strange, at the very least this should’ve healed. Not having the patience to go through the same motions with her arm, she kicks her left leg straight. Unsurprisingly the leg buckles, and pain floods it’s nerves. Although, the attempt on the right leg doesn’t go nearly as bad, as it can swivel without too much trouble.

           The other arm can move somewhat fine, but the limp arm has yet to heal. Go figures. With the usable arm, Laurentina props up onto her elbow, and with whatever remaining conviction, finally looks at the damage.

Two types of blood stain her uniform.

The deep, fleshy blood of both her and her comrades, and the fluorescent, alien blue floating like oil in it. A chuckle escapes

          To no one in particular. With a surprisingly stable hand, the check up has begun. Just a quick brush of the hand confirms that there are open wounds. Fair enough

           A freezing chill rushes down her spine. Ears strain for anything, yet the same crash of waves is all there is. No new scents either. Short glances across the empty beach reveal very little. Perhaps she should’ve checked the area earlier? Now’s not really the time to dwell though, considering the situation. Soon enough her gaze is focused back on the myriad of cuts and gashes. Very few have begun to even scab over, and although most of the bleeding stopped, the feeling of sea salt trying to force its way through opened cuts doesn’t inspire hope.

              Although the excessive re-checks take much longer than usual, it pays off. The injuries include a few fractures, cuts of varying lengths and depths, and a handful of hyperextended joints. Which, really, isn’t the absolute worst state she’s been in. With a short huff, she places her palms onto the grey sand, and begins shifting the weight in her legs. After getting them into the right position, all that’s left is to get up. A quick  push from the left arm gets most of her torso to lurch forward. Maybe a bit too forward, as she can feel herself rock far past her knees.

           The expected feeling of splashing face first into the waves never comes. Instead, she can feel her hands and knees  be tugged at by the receding waves. Dragging a leg up to her chest, and then using both of her wobbling hands, she begins to push the rest of her body back up. At first, the tremors stop for just long enough to prop her legs up without too much pain. Just as quickly do they come back. Couple that with the sudden waves of nausea and it’s nearly impossible to keep going. However, by some miracle, she manages to keep up upright, and takes her first step.

(This was written like 3 months ago but I didn’t know how to end it so yeah.)

[talonslockau]

is there a reason for all the name changes in the story??? like, some of them seem really random,,, are they just your ocs or something

Hmm, I'm not sure whether I've said it before on Tumblr, so I'll go ahead and say it here - yes, nearly every cat's name change is for a reason. No, they are not my OCs. I'm not planning on inserting my OCs into these books in any way. I'll admit there's a lot more personality given to each cat - which I guess in a way makes them my OCs - but none of the cats in the story are spawned from the ether unless they're already dead (to untangle family trees in little-known Clans like Windclan, for example).

There are some names that I've wanted to change but haven't because they're too iconic - Bluefur, Graystripe, Oakheart, and Longtail being among them. When changing names, I heavily weighed whether keeping their name recognizable was more important than the reasons I wanted to change them.

Most of the characters whose names I change are either background characters that are only mentioned a couple of times a book and are changed to be more recognizable as their own character (Quickflash/Runningwind, Peppermask/Brindleface), or their names were directly problematic in some way (Spiderfoot/Blackfoot), or they got a boring suffix that didn't accurately reflect them (Leopardflame/Leopardfur, Cinderpelt/Cinderspark).

I actually already have a list made up of changes and the reasons behind them if you want to know more in depth! I'm gonna put it under the cut, just for you, although fair warning it's rather long and bothersome even after I've restricted it to only name changes that have already been revealed.

Sensitivity Changes: Medicine Cat > Healer: Medicine cat has always kind of stuck out to me, because every other rank is one word (except for moor-runners, I guess, but that's not exactly a 'rank' either to my understanding). When I found out it had racist connotations, I changed it to the more universal 'healer'. This isn't a name per se but I think it's worth mentioning! Runningwind > Quickflash: I find the Running- prefix to be too reminiscent of Native American tribal names, such as Sitting Bull, and not prevalent enough to warrant staying. I also changed any names with the five clans in them, as I feel it would be considered disrespectful in my universe, even if it was not in canon. I thought the -flash suffix suited the idea behind his character more than -breeze or -gust or -gale would have, and in my opinion it ties him more strongly to Thunderclan! Runningnose > Wetnose: As above, I removed any Running- prefix. I tried to keep the meaning of the prefix intact, hence why he was changed to Wetnose instead of Quicknose. Runningbrook > Quickbreeze: As above, I removed any Running- prefix. I thought Quickbreeze flowed better than Quickbrook also!

Cloudrunner > Cloudjump: I find the -runner suffix to be similarly reminiscent of Native American tribal names, and also not prevalent enough to warrant staying. I tried to keep a similar meaning still, so that it conveys the same idea.

Blackfoot > Spiderfoot: Blackfoot is the English name of a Native American tribe; out of respect to them, his name has been altered. Character Changes: Brindleface > Peppermask: Graystripe has always read as the kind of guy who has a bunch of sisters, but in canon he has no siblings (except Darkstripe, I guess). To remedy this, I took several cats in canon that were left in limbo due to other changes I had made and made them his sisters. Brindleface is one of them. I've never really liked the Brindle- prefix, and I also find the -face suffix to just sound insulting when used (Clawface being a notable example). I don't recall why I used Pepper- instead of Brindle-, but I used -mask as the most equivalent not-insulting -suffix to -face!

Mistlekit > Dewshine: Mistlekit is formerly Snowkit's dead sibling - I changed her to be Graystripe's sister and gave her a personality. I also don't like the prefix Mistle-, since I've only ever associated it with the word 'Mistletoe', and I didn't want to doom her to a specific suffix. Originally, her name was going to be Mistkit, but after I found Tigerclaw's dead sibling Mistkit and reused her, I needed a different prefix, and switched to the similar-meaning Dew-. Her -shine suffix was voted on by readers in January!

Cinderpelt > Cinderspark: Cinderpelt's story is iconic, and I do love her in canon; however, she is iconic precisely because of the ableism and predeterminism of the series, which I knew from the get-go I didn't want to include. She's also always kind of stood out as different from her siblings, not really fitting as a Frostfur kit - which is why she ended up becoming Graystripe's sister. Her suffix was changed to represent the change in her destiny, as it is Quickflash who ends up getting run over on the Thunderpath instead.

Scourge > Tinyfrost: In this universe, Bluestar defends Tiny from Tigerpaw and his mentor breaking the warrior code, and brings him back to camp, where he stays and becomes a warrior of Thunderclan. He keeps the name Tiny-, making him recognizable to anyone who knows his story, but got a prefix I thought fit him well.

Nightkit > Nightwish: Formerly Tigerclaw's dead sister, Nightkit was instead given different parents and grew to be a warrior of Thunderclan and Ravenspirit's mother.

Mistkit > Mistspring: Formerly Tigerclaw's dead sister, Mistkit was instead given different parents and grew to be a warrior of Thunderclan.

Dappletail > Dappleshine: Did you know there was over 6 -tail suffixes in the original Thunderclan allegiances? This, combined with how she would have gotten her name at the same time as her now-brother Redtail (I don't think Pinestar would have been so uncreative as to have given two warriors the same suffix at the same time), meant that she had to get a new suffix. I ended up choosing one that I thought fit her new personality best - I hope I succeeded!

Cinderfur + Ashfur > Cinderscar: These two gray-furred elder toms show up around the same time in the books. Given their similar names, I found it likely that they were in fact intended to be the same cat and combined them into one, with a more unique name to help him stand out.

Individuality changes: Speckletail > Speckleflight: Unlike Redtail and Rosetail, and like Dappletail/Dappleshine, Speckletail's name doesn't really apply to just her tail. When writing her, I envisioned her as an older, but still fiesty feline - just like the Squirrelflight of today, which is how I chose her suffix.

Willowpelt > Willowbranch: Willowpelt is a lovely name, but pales in comparison to her sisters Nightwish and Mistspring. I wanted her name to convey that she was easygoing but resilient - just like the branch of a willow tree.

Dustpelt > Dustleap: Dust is a much more aggressive tom in my universe, being the one to fight Fireheart instead of Longtail - he's also the son of Redtail, so it feels unfair that he should get a boring suffix instead of a cool one like his sister. I ended up choosing Dustleap because he is a cat that leaps before he looks.

Moonflower > Duskflower: In my canon, Moon- and Sun- are also considered to be sacred names, so naming a kit after them would be blasphemy at best, just like Star-. This means Moonflower has to be named something else, so I chose Duskflower, which is her original drafted name.

Snowfur > Snowstorm: As before, despite Pinestar's numerous other issues, I don't think even he would be so lazy as to give two cats in the same litter the same exact suffix. I changed Snowfur to Snowstorm partially so that Whitestorm could be legacy named after her, which also had the side effect of her being legacy named after her father, Stormtail.

Archeye > Archtail: Archeye's name was always a bit weird to me. I decided to give him a more interesting suffix, which resulted in an interesting mutation as a result!

Crowtail > Crowtalon: Crowtail was given a more interesting name to match her new mate's.

Flintfang > Flintspark: I ended up giving Mousewing the -fang suffix, and changing Flintspark's to be more unique to him.

Scorchwind > Scorchflash: This is one of those names that are disrespectful in my canon, so I changed it to something with the same vibe but more respectful.

Nutwhisker > Acornwhisper: I wanted to change the Nut- prefix to something more specific. I also originally intended for him to be named Acornwhisker, but I mistyped it in my notes - and so it stuck!

Mousewing > Mousefang: Mouse is a bit more violent in my canon, so I gave him a more fitting name as a result. (Have you see how long mouse incisors can grow?)

Deerfoot > Deerstrike: Deer is a bit more violent in my canon, so I gave him a name that reflected that change.

Russetfur > Redfern: I thought Red being forcibly renamed to Russetpaw was part of the reason why Boulder refused a Clan name (he didn't want his name to be changed too): her name is also a reference to "Where The Red Fern Grows", which is my mum's favorite book (not mine; I hate it).

Boulder > Boulderheart: Since Red wasn't forcibly renamed, I thought Boulderpaw might be more willing to take on a Clan name. He got the -heart suffix for being kind and compassionate.

Whitethroat > Whitetuft: I really don't like the -throat suffix, it sounds rude like the -face suffix to me, which is why I changed his to be a similar sounding name but not quite so offensive.

Mudfur > Mudwish: An interesting fact that hasn't come up yet in my canon - when a warrior apprentices to become a healer, they become a -paw in the eyes of Starclan and get a new full name at their naming ceremony, to reflect how they've grown. Mudwish was indeed originally named Mudfur, but after becoming a healer, became Mudpaw and then Mudwish.

Leopardfur > Leopardflame: Leopardfur is iconic, so I hesitated to change it, but I came to realize she's more iconic as Leopardstar than anything. Also, she is NOT a cat that would settle for a boring prefix.

Stonefur > Stonestep: Look, I'll admit it - I'm one of those people that mixes up Stonepelt, Stonefur, and Stormfur. Stop giving all these cats similar names, Erins, it's just hard!

Mistyfoot > Mistyskip: Mistyfoot's name is fine, I guess. It's a bit boring, especially compared to her siblings (Stonestep and Mosspatch), and I felt bad letting her settle for a boring name when they got updated ones - so I let her change her name to something similar but still more unique.

Mosskit > Mosspatch: In canon, Mosskit doesn't grow up, but I make the rules here and I say they get to live. I chose the -patch suffix because they have patches, and also so that it would match their siblings' names in length.

Morningkit > Morningwhisper: Graypool's kits got to grow up in my canon, so they all got suffixes I handpicked.

Swankit > Swanfeather: Graypool's kits got to grow up in my canon, so they all got suffixes I handpicked. Swanfeather's was chosen because she's Silverstream's mentor!

Splashkit > Splashpebble: Graypool's kits got to grow up in my canon, so they all got suffixes I handpicked.

Skyheart > Shineheart: Obviously, Skyclan doesn't exist in The Prophecies Begin, but I hold that the Clans still treat the word 'Sky' as reverent, like they do 'Moon' and 'Sun' in my canon!

Rippleclaw > Ripplestrike: There were three different -claws in Riverclan at first, and I wanted to make them each more individual while still fitting the general idea.

Whiteclaw > Whiteflame: Look, guys, I know we all think the alcohol cat is funny. Oakheart is still there. He gets the -flame suffix because I headcanon his paws look like they have white flames on them.

Willowkit > Willowbrook: All three of Willowbreeze's kits grew up in my canon! Crookedstar gave her a name that was similar but not exactly like her mother's - his way of trying to keep her spirit alive.

Minnowkit > Minnowsong: All three of Willowbreeze's kits grew up in my canon, so the other two needed suffixes! I selected this one for her because it sounded pretty.

Shadepelt > Shadespeckle: Again, more of an individuality thing than any specific reason - this is a Clan full of pretty names now, Shadepelt is just boring!

Silverpaw > Creeksplash: The main reason for this change is because Silverpaw is an apprentice right at the start of Fire and Ice - the same time Silverstream would also have been an apprentice, since she became a warrior the same moon her uncle died. I didn't want there to be two Silverpaws (or Silverkits), so I changed his name to Creekpaw. We also never get a suffix for him, so I chose one I thought fit.

Greenflower > Cloverflower: Look, Green as a prefix is fine, I suppose, but I just don't like it. It reminds me of naming kits after their eye-color, which doesn't develop until they're at least 6 weeks old and already talking. It's weird. Besides, I think Cloverflower is a lovely name!

Mosspelt > Ivyskip: This one is changed because Mosspelt would have been born around the same time as Mosskit, so there would have been two Mosskits at the same time! I also changed her suffix to -skip to match Mistyskip; I headcanon that the two were close as apprentices!

Barkface > Birchbark: Again, I'm not fond of the -face suffix, but I couldn't think of one that didn't sound vaguely insulting with the Bark- prefix; hence why I changed it to his suffix and gave him a different prefix.

Darkfoot > Darkstep: There were originally 3 -foot suffixes in Windclan, so I wanted to change at least one of them. He still received a similar name, just not -foot.

Rabbitear > Rabbitstep: I originally named Rabbitstep before Onestar's Confession came out, and we didn't know what her full name was: we do now, but I don't particularly like the -ear suffix, so her name stays Rabbitstep.

Bristlebark > Bristlethorn: I originally named Bristlethorn before Onestar's Confession came out, and we didn't know what his full name was; now we do, but the suffix -bark would imply some relation to Birchbark, which he doesn't have.

Wrenflight > Wrenfeather: I wanted the -feather suffix to be more prevalent in Windclan before Crowfeather: The Clan also had Hareflight and Pigeonflight by this point, and I thought 3 -flights was redundant, so I gave her a different name.

Flylight > Hazewhisper: The Fly- prefix didn't really fit him, so I ended up changing it to Hazewhisper. The suffix change was unintentional: I made his name before Onestar's Confession came out, which ended up confirming his name as Flylight.

Oatwhisker > Oatskip: I didn't want to have 3 cats with a similar sounding prefix; I also wanted his name to reference him being a flame point. Since I already had several -foot and -steps, I ended up naming him Oatskip.

Onewhisker > Smallwhisker: One- is quite a choice for a prefix, one that the fandom has already made plenty of fun of and I won't do here. I changed it to something that I thought carried the same vibe but had more precedent.

Tawnyfur > Tawnycloud: This is a little bit of a reference to the Pink Cloud prophecy! Also, I didn't want her to have an especially boring name.

Stoneclaw > Pebblestrike: We do not need another Stone + boring suffix in this house. Besides, Pebblestrike is a cute name.

Brushpaw > Lionpaw: Brush- was certainly a choice for a name on Tallstar's part, and not one I particularly liked. I decided to let his Clan name match his old one a bit more. Also, they come at a much different time for Windclan, and don't serve to retroactively confirm Onestar's terrible terrible choices.

Tansypaw > Birdpaw: Birdpaw's warrior name will be Birdsong, which I think fits the idea of her old name (Melody) well.

Bailey > Blossomtail: Bailey joins the nursery as a resident queen, and takes a warrior name to honor her contributions to the Clan!

Crowfur > Crowskip: I'm not sure why, but I originally had his name written down as Crowslip. I've hence decided that the -slip suffix isn't used/is a typo for -skip, so I've changed his name accordingly.

[countlessrealities]

scrapped ideas meme:

🗑️ ⚖️ 💚

Scrapped / on pause / WIP ideas meme

🗑️ a scrapped element of the blog

When I was developing the backgrounds for my OCs, there was a moment when I debated adding to SR's backstory a tragic / bad element, since he's the only one among them who, all in all, had a decent life without too much drama (for Ricks standards, at least). It would have also been in line with the kind of characters I usually write, because tragic backstories are my guilty pleasure xD

I eventually decided against it both because I wanted to try something different, but also because I wanted a character who could still fit Rick standards when it comes to ruthlessness and asshole-ness, but who also was capable of emotional intelligence underneath. SR is the kind of person who hasn't gone through extreme trauma, but he has enough tact that he can be a support for those who have (see his relationship with AR, for example).

Don't get me wrong, he's not a good guy, he has done terrible things and doesn't feel guilty about them in the least, but he has a loose moral code. And he actively tries to be a decent person with the ones he cares for.

I liked this balance between decency and Rickness, and I knew that it would have been hard to develop it if I had given him some big bad event in his backstory. So, he's the only one of my characters who still has his family, who remained in good terms with his Diane even if they divorced and whose Beth actually has a good family life (also, no Jerry in the picture, so maybe that helped xD).

⚖️ something stuck in limbo

I still haven't properly figured out how I want my Morty to feel about the whole Rick Prime ordeal. In the show, they don't really delve into the consequences of him finding out why Rick chose his original dimension specifically, nor how this changes everything that Rick has chosen to do after.

I'm debating whether Morty would see Rick taking him away after they accidentally Cronenberged his dimension as a sign that Rick had come to care for him or if he would see it as Rick wanting to keep something that of Rick Prime in the hope that he might get an interest. Knowing how forgiving Morty is, especially when it comes to Rick, he would probably pick the first option, but I'm toying with the idea that, deep down, he has doubts. And said doubts come out whenever he has one of his bad moments.

I just love both options, the idea of Weird Rick being something that eventually makes Rick and Morty closer and also more on the same level and the idea that instead it adds to the things that have been creating a rift between them. I'm really torn here!

Tho, knowing me, I'll probably end up figuring out a way to mix them because I can't choose xD

💚 for a coming idea that still needs development

I have this verse for Summer I never got to use, but that I'd love to develop sometimes. Basically, after the whole Space Beth reveal, she decides to ditch Earth and join her space mom's crew. You could call it her Star Wars like adventure verse, I guess xD

In this verse, she still is her sassy, mostly detached self, but she would definitely grow into becoming truly confident, into believing in herself and her skills. And she would do that on her own, not through a reflection of Rick's approval or anyone else's.

It's a version of Summer who has found what she wants to do with her life, what she wants from him and also where she belongs, even while still burdened with everything she has learnt through her experience with Rick and her family.

[yuukei-yikes]

Haruka's cringe compilation also includes him seeing Ene, probably thinking she looks very pretty, but instead of rekindling his high school romance he's living through the worst adaptation of "new phone who dis" ever conceived by man or snake

LMAOOO please and in that point in time haruka also technically spent a lot of time watching konoha try to get hibiya and hiyori out of the timeloop for god knows how long. we dont talk abt this enough. haruka can see everything konoha sees so like... erm. bitch also saw these kids getting killed over and over. lol! (descent into insanity complete as i think abt haruka and hibihiyo dynamic post str)

so like. last haruka saw of takane was her dead body, he had no reason to NOT think she wasn't in a similar state as him. like in some limbo place. bc tbh does haruka even know where he is... and from watching everything thru konoha he might know as much as kenjirou being a danger but that's it. cuz we don't know if he ever explicitly did anything to reveal in front of konoha that he is not Really kenjirou. ofc there are the hcs that the people inside the daze move freely and can see each other but personally i never interpreted it like this. i like the hc theyre all alone bc makes for better post str angst and i like the idea that ayano CAN do this but doesn't because she is too upset she could not save haruka and takane and is too ashamed to face haruka. and also something something self punishment i dont deserve to hang out with my friend and receive updates from what he can see with awakening eyes (but doesnt stop to think it'd be nice for haruka to have someone). i think ayano probably shows up to haruka at least once Largely based on his line in the eighth novel when she appears. he says "she was always unannounced" or something like that and yeah maybe he meant back then when they were alive ayano had always been kind of sudden and unexpected idk lol but i like to interpret it as in ayano suddenly showing up in haruka's daze like. hi. (cries a lil bit then immediately leaves)

ERM. SORRY I GOT SIDETRACKED. LIKE ALWAYS. i think haruka Knows where he is bc ayano told him, but it's also so appealing to me that he's just confused the whole 2 years (plus the 10 years it feels he's watching hibiya and hiyori die) cuz. heh. angst. but yeah i think he'd know but not much (until konoha meets the dan yknow)

ANYWAYS YEAH my point was he just went through all that, been alone for 2 years plus all the time worth in the hibihiyo timeloop and finally. HE GETS TO SEE TAKANE. except he is not really himself and konoha is just making her freak out and cry and haruka's just having a mental breakdown bc he's been in this place for so damn long where he cant feel tired or sleep or eat and he is just laying there in a room perfectly designed to fit his worst nightmare like he is by all means dead but alive enough to be tortured like this lolllll and now he gets to see the person he's been begging to see all this time like YOU KNOW in the third novel the first konohas state of the world chapter he says "if i had a final wish i would reach out to that girl who used to yell at me all the time" (insanity) like i truly think the i want to see you takane bit from the anime is from there. anyways. the fact that line happens while konoha is actively trying to stop the timeloop for hibiya and hiyori AUGGHH

um. yeah he gets to see her again. but all his other self is doing is making her cry lmaooo

but also i think haruka is rly touched that takane refuses to see konoha as him and calls him a fake LOL bc haruka hates konoha bc it acts so much like him, clueless to those around him and just being a burden but takane refuses to see it as haruka because it's NOT haruka like she knew immediately it wasn't him. and maybe from takane's pov its just her in denial of haruka having his memories erased but still she was right, it wasnt haruka in his body. and i think he would be so touched abt this (which is why he's so desperate for her company post str not only for obvious reasons like he loves takane and he was alone for god knows how long inside the daze but ALSO BECAUSE.. everyone else became great friends with konoha and he feels so bad replacing it and fears the dan resents him hehehehehfhejdjjdjfiekdkoeoeo

[alaanz]

Struggling to comprehend today’s remember me episode tbh.

Gun’s secret was finally revealed and him and golf are finally together. But honestly I was expecting a lot more hurt feelings and wasn’t expecting them to make up so quickly.

I guess it makes sense since they’ve known each other since they were kids but like still. it’s been YEARS. Surely there’d be more dishonesty felt. Like this is the same amount of time as vice versa, if not longer. But honestly I can’t complain too much, there’re enough emotions going around so I’m happy for their happiness.

FUCK ME. Em, I’ve honestly had it up to HERE with you. That was such a half hearted apology after such neglect as a friend. And then you let your friends speak about Name like that. And don’t tell them off. That really says a lot about how much you actually give a fuck. Because there’s no way they you can convince me that you’ve ‘actually loved him this whole time and it’s all just miscommunication’, which is probably how they’ll take it. If Em actually cared then he’d try harder and wouldn’t constantly go through Name’s mum to speak to him.

Name is constantly breaking my heart. I was about to start sobbing seeing him pick up the pill bottle. The fact that the feels so lonely and isolated that he’d rather kill himself than continue to live like this. Nobody understands him and then continue to belittle what he’s going through into him just making a choice. If they let him talk to them for a minute without interrupting him then they’d learn that this isn’t something he’s choosing to have.

He wants to speak, but his body won’t let him. And Name’s mum just doesn’t understand this. Him being mute gives everyone around him the opportunity to just walk all over him. It doesn’t have to be in big ways, but even small things are enough to make him feel unheard. His mum telling him to just speak when he was trying to write his thoughts onto paper is such a blow to his self worth. He’s communicating in the only way he can and then he’s being told it’s not good enough. That’s going to destroy him and it is.

Granted Em hasn’t really ever had any issues with Name being mute and just treats him like the rest of his friends. But he also doesn’t really stick up for him either. He’s, purposefully or not, taken Names mums side between them by going to her instead of him. And when his friend talks about him in a degrading way, he just lets it slide. Like this is how they always talk about Name and so it’s fine. It’s the fact that Em just keeps stringing him along and keeps Name in this sort of limbo, constantly wondering if Em actually wants to be his friend or not. Whether he actually likes him or not.

Name doesn’t see any hope of it getting better really. His mum says the same things over and over again, which continue to just belittle his emotions. And his closest friend doesn’t even rely try to contact anymore. He feels like Em is giving up on him and constantly letting him down. Name really needs someone in his life to actually listen to him and remind him of how amazing he is. That and probably therapy. He doesn’t have this right now and it’s honestly heartbreaking to see.

Then we get the fact that his mum has just collapsed in the hallway. He has no idea what’s wrong or what to do. And the thing you’re supposed to do, call the emergency services, isn’t something he’s really able to do. He’s just kind of frozen and not knowing what to do. I really hope that it’s not fatal because Name really can’t lose the only kind of support structure he has in his life.

The preview really gave us nothing on what’s going to happen and to hell with them for that. Name really will need friends and support right now, I just hope they don’t turn Em into the saviour character who finally comes and saves Name now that something big is happening. Because he doesn’t get to neglect him this whole time and then show up like a knight in shining armour. I want the whole friend group to come and support him. I know they’ve lost touch over the years but there isn’t any bad blood between them really and they were friends once, so them coming together again would be nice to see.

So many worries about what’s going to go down and if they’re going to try and save Name and Ems relationship or not.

[karkkidoeswriting]

1-13 for a vampire oc of your choosing?

Thank you for the ask! I hope I interpret correctly that it's the questions from 1 to 13 :D I'll be answering with Darius from Be All My Sins, since he's the least spoilery vampire (also because I haven't developed his character enough yet and this is a good opportunity to do a bit of that).

1.How long have they been a vampire? Were they always this way, or did someone (or something) turn them?

Darius has been a vampire for roughly 2500 years. He was turned into a vampire by another vampire, whom he had a very toxic and pretty abusive relationship with.

2.How does their vampirism affect their daily life?

He is very powerful vampire and he's resistant to death, so even when he needs to drink blood to function, he doesn't really die from lack of blood, after long enough he'd just go in a coma-like state. He also has resistance to the sunlight, especially when fed, but it does weaken him. Currently the biggest effect is that he's basically been killed, but he can't die, so he's been in a limbo state for like 70 years. Well he is technically already dead of course as a vampire, but you get it.

3. Have they had to make any changes to routine or behavior?

Being more dead than usual for 70 years has been a big change in routine as he has been stuck in a crypt. In his alive life he was a Persian noble, so during the 2500 past years his daily routine and behavior has changed quite a many times. When he became a vampire and had his first death, everyone thought he died fully so he kinda had to leave that life behind and so his life did change drastically.

4. Are there perks that outweigh the condition, or is it too difficult to enjoy?

He has had many phases thorough the two and a half millennia. Sometimes he's been happy to be vampire, sometimes he's hated it. Currently he'd veer on the side of hard to enjoy as he's stuck in a crypt in a perpetual limbo.

5. How does being a vampire affect their interactions and relationships with other people? Has their vampirism cost them friends or forged new bonds?

He describes vampirism as a curse of loneliness. Not "vampirism curses a person with loneliness" but "loneliness curses a person with vampirism". People who are seduced by vampirism are already lonely and othered. But people fear and hate vampires, so vampires keep being lonely. So it's a repeating cycle. Usually the only companionship is found in other vampires, but vampires can't survive without humanity. They need human blood, but more than that, they are still fundamentally human, however monstrous and inhuman they seem, so they need humanity. Darius has gone through many of these cycles, and he's had vampire companions and communities, but weather because of the personal baggage of the vampires involved, or through the destructive involvement with humans, he has always eventually ended up alone. He has gone through many phases with his relationship to others too. He has been cynical, idealistic, manipulative, destructive and loving, but eventually the result has always been the same. But, like blood, he still also craves love.

6. Do they have any rivals?

He's had many rivals. Currently his rival could be said to be the person who "killed" him, his ex-lover who he had quite a toxic on and off relationship for a century before he "died".

7. Are they open about what they are, or do they hide their condition?

When interacting with human society he hides his vampirism, but depending on the situation, he might reveal being a vampire or not.

8. How do they feel about their condition as a whole?

As some of the answers imply, he has quite a complicated relationship with his vampirism, and it has had drastic changes along the way. For past several centuries he's come to terms with it, the good and the bad, but currently he's not super happy with being stuck in a limbo.

9. How do they get their meals?

He's been starving for 70 years, but before that he usually made a deal with a human to give something in return for regular drinks of blood. When that wasn't available, he would just steal some blood from someone who annoyed him. He usually wouldn't kill humans for blood, not because he has any strong opposition for murder, but mostly because he doesn't need to, leaving blood to spoil in a dead human seems just a waste and he doesn't want to drink all the blood of a human, because then he's stuck with their souls. He's already stuck with countless souls.

10. How often do they need to feed?

He's not sure how long he'd need to not feed to actually properly die, since that has clearly never happened, but it's at least more than 70 years. He can go without feeding for a quite a while, at least several of weeks, when he's in full strength, without having any noticeable symptoms (though it of course depends on how much he feeds, but considering he tends to feed small amounts at a time). He starts to feel weary though after some days to a week without feeding. It takes several months till he has seriously weakened and he can technically go without feeding for over a year before he goes into a limbo state.

11. How much restraint do they have around blood?

Definitely depends on how recently he has been feeding, but he has very high restraint even when he's starving. When he's in full strength, he has no trouble at all restraining himself around blood.

12. Do they want a cure?

Definitely not a cure as in reverting back to human, but he's not sure if he would want a cure in a he would actually die way. He's been living a very very long time, and his humanity still clings him to life (or unlife), but he's been considering he might want to properly, decisively die at some point.

13. What inspired their design?

So I haven't drawn him yet so I can't exactly show him, but he has long wavy black hair, because I love all those vampire men, who have long wavy hair, it's such a good look.

[dromjournal]

7 Augusti 2023

I'm a character in a game, I guess, a boy. I have no memories of my past, it's all completely blank. Not even my name. I'm not sure how I get this job but through some supernatural accident I end up in the limbo (well nothing says it's in limbo, but it's obviously in limbo), trying to figure out the mystery of The Soul Thief.

The soul thief, or as it's called by itself, The Punisher, seems to steal souls. It more or less looks humanoid, except you can't see their face. They got a stark red color scheme that clashes with the rather drab gray of the rest of the game. Whenever a death occurs lately they seem to be there and disappear super quickly through a rip in space-time, stealing away the soul. Now the reason I'm sent to figure it out is because I got this power of knowing somehow when and where the next death is happening. In Limbo everything just kinda blurs together based on memories (i guess?) which makes it very easy to move between the places I need to go to. I try to get to the deaths in time to see where the Punisher comes from, what he does with the souls and why. (And stop him, I guess, although I'm not sure how I'd do that.) Well, there's still that thing about being in Limbo - I can move in the world and I can see living things move around, but I can't interact with them unless they die. I am in the living world at those times though because I see the deaths happen.

The "default" space I am at is a junior high school and the other characters of importance are also at the same school and around the same age. Why this place is our default is hard to say, maybe we died there or just had a lot of memories from there.

There's me, who is a short dark haired guy with big eyes. Adam, who is a bigger guy, a bit of a bully at the start towards everyone else that does get better and we kind-of become friends (or at least not enemies). Then another guy who is dark haired and chubby, a bit of a nerd in the most typical of fashion, he's very clumsy and honestly cringe a lot of the time. Obviously he takes the brunt of the bullying. I can't remember his name. Then there's the "principal" who isn't actually a principal but just some adult greying man who happens to be there too, and the person we get assignments and information about things from. He isn't telling us as much as we'd like and he's rather strict. He does seem to hold some sort of power over us but it's hard to tell if it's mental or physical.

Anyway it builds up to look like Adam is the punisher, from a bunch of clues that he's from our "school" and Adam is about tall enough and has tendency towards violence. Except just when you think you have figured it out and you're about to rapport your conclusion, the Punisher appears and steals nerd-guys soul while Adam is with me. However this time you get a jump in on him and end up going through HIS memories, starting with seeing a memory of the nerd killing an innocent animal through a perspective that we don't know whose it is.

Something something, close to the end Adam comes back as like this Punisher-like being and reveals The Punisher is actually me and has been all along. Not quite a split personality, but there's the me that got my memories and the me that has forgotten. And it takes special circumstances to wake up the memories, and only for a short while. Me and New Adam both are from the same, let's say company, including the Principal.

The purpose is unclear, so is pretty much everything else. But it feels very fleshed out in the dream 🤷

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Busan and what came after

by Admin 2

Hi guys!

After waiting in a limbo for four years we finally got the answer, being that the members will go to the military after all, as announced by HYBE a few days ago. I have a feeling that everything is slowly coming together like a puzzle into one whole picture. Of course we could speculate in which order they’ll go, who will go to which type of service and for how long, but I don’t think there really is any true point in that, instead it’s better to just wait and see. We’ll find out soon enough. One thing is clear that Jin will begin this new phase since we will have to say goodbye to him before the end of the year, by the end of this month even. Because of that we’ll be getting Jin’s solo song, The Astronaut, very soon.

With Admin 1 we had a few speculations about the song, the most logical (based on both going to LA at the same time, more or less) that Namjoon would be involved in the song, but we certainly didn’t see Coldplay coming at all. It’s yet another surprise no one had any idea about which only goes to show, once again, that speculating is fun but ultimately pointless. We’ve read at least snippets of the lyrics that were revealed with the album last night and it’s so romantic, and of course officially it’s said to be for ARMY but unofficially? We’ll never find out. So here, too, we won’t speculate about the song but instead wait until the song comes out next week and we get to listen to it and find out more about it from Jin. But looking at stores in our area it’s a bit shocking to see that Jin’s single album will cost about as much as WINGS does. Nonetheless we’re very curious about the song, its MV, and the pictures within the album.

And now a few words about what we got to see last week below the cut:

Starting with Jimin’s birthday. We might not have made a post about it, like we didn’t for JK and Namjoon either, but of course we wished him a happy birthday on social media and thought about him lots. We both thought Tae wouldn’t post anything again, just like he did last year, so we were only so much more surprised that he posted something and that he was the last one. Finally we got another vmin selca which made both of us yell in joy and surprise, even more so when looking at Tae’s emoji choice. And then to make it even more WOW Jimin reposted the wishes to his IG story, the first time he’s ever posted one (and he didn’t repost anyone else wishes, just Tae’s), and Tae went on to like Jimin’s birthday post on IG. The next day Tae also posted a picture of a Jimin bus with Jimin’s head in the frame as he was looking out of the window at the bus. So many cute interactions.

The Busan concert. Unfortunately neither of us was in Busan so we watched the livestream instead which meant that we, too, had to suffer through weverse and naver giving up and thus missed out on at least 3 songs which was very upsetting. So we’re thankful to vminies who were at the concert who caught all the cute vmin interactions and shared them with us, especially since there was quite something to catch.

As for the whole group itself, they presented themselves quite maturely and powerful on stage. You can feel that they are grown men and not a group of boys anymore. Sure there is still that freshness and enthusiasm for performing and giving their best, that they are still loving it and having fun, but their behavior and visuals have evolved and matured alongside them. 

Since Tae is my bias I’ll start with him and I’ll admit that I’m very proud of Tae, who in my opinion has evolved quite a lot vocally since we last heard him at the Las Vegas concerts. He’s truly using his voice like an instrument and in a way that he knows exactly how to move us emotionally and how to touch us. His voice is completely different from the other members. I’ve seen a few snippets from the rehearsals where Tae showed us his opera like singing and it was brilliant, if he wanted to, he could take up a role like that, too. 

All the members were brilliant, really. It was sad though that Jin had issues with his throat leading up to the concert and you could see it in a few spots that his throat was giving him a bit of a trouble still. I certainly didn’t expect him to announce that he would have a song next, since word was that it would be Namjoon or Yoongi, but it was a very pleasant surprise that had us very excited.

Speaking of Namjoon, I’m not sure where to start. Be it his mature look or his incredible stage presence that’s truly unmatched. Namjoon, more and more with each concert, grows when it comes to his presence and the way he carries himself, so much so that it seem like he’s more confident about himself and his looks, his talents. His aura is very striking. Along with Yoongi he doesn’t need to do much on stage and yet he still commands your attention effortlessly. The whole package he presents is truly something else and in a way it only makes me so much more excited for whatever he has waiting for us when it comes to his solo work in the future. I’ll admit that after Tae, Namjoon is next in line visually for me. He’s gorgeous, but a tiny bit less than Tae since Tae is above everyone.

As for Yoongi and Hobi, when those two stand on stage alongside Namjoon, it’s an absolute feast, it’s like a heavy train that gets more and more momentum and takes you along for an unforgettable ride. I love those three together on stage. I don’t know how Yoongi manages to rap so fast without getting out of breath or looking like it takes any effort at all, and how someone as small as him can fit just that much energy and power into himself. And also how much someone so calm and kind and warm can still also have this force that’s very much to be reckoned with inside of him. Hobi, after releasing Jack in the Box and performing at Lolapalooza, has gained even more confidence and transformed his presence. The choices that were made when it came to his outfits and his hair, truly whoever decided that style for him deserves a raise because he was absolutely impeccable. 

JK like JK was solid as he always is and didn’t disappoint in any kind of way. Unlike many, or most, I didn’t quite like what was done to his hair for the concert, but each their own. He, too, stood very maturely and confidently on stage and was eye-catching in his presence and vocals. 

Jimin. You could still see that happiness from his birthday and from being in his hometown radiate off of him and carry him across the stage with so much energy and that signature dancer prowess. He was in his element beginning to end and didn’t falter even once, and he got so happy and surprised when ARMY started to sing Happy Birthday for him, albeit very out of sync but that just adds to the charm. And as much as I like black haired or blond Jimin, I don’t quite understand his current hair color choice and when I saw him with his hair hidden I quietly hoped he might’ve changed it, which he obviously didn’t. But the hairstyle itself suits him so well and I really like this longer hair on him a lot.

Vmin at the Busan concert. I don’t even know where to start but fkdmwexf While all the members were doing their proper ending pose for RUN BTS, it seemed like vmin were overcome with joy and the need to share that with each other since, instead of doing the pose as well, they decided to hug and then seemingly fall to the floor together once the lights were off. No idea what else they were doing, if anything, but the fact itself just left us speechless and gave us butterflies. But I’ll admit that as much as that made me, as well as Admin 1, scream and squeak in excitement, just like many other smaller interactions that vmin shared, my absolute favorite moment was during the dance break in Butter. When they danced with Hobi, Tae and Jimin shared these big, happy, radiant smiles with each other. And another one that also made my heart flutter was when Jimin smiled at Tae and Tae got so cutely flustered and shy. And vmin were just so vmin during this concert. They were just so happy to be on stage and to share this with the members and each other. You could just see that they were simply doing this for each other, and that’s just so cute and this wonderfully gentle thing between them, so wrapped in fondness and the uniqueness of their bond.

Let’s not even talk about their interaction during Zero O’Clock during rehearsals where they first held hands (where it also looked for a moment like Jimin wanted to kiss Tae’s hand), then Tae caressed Jimin’s cheek and then pat his head before walking away before turning back and smiling back at Jimin, because I have no words still. It was just something they did for each other and not for the audience since there was none, except for their staff, since it was a rehearsal after all. From what we could see of the rehearsals there were quite a few interactions between them, ranging from just shared glances to actual small touches and silliness. It just highlights once again how close they are.

And then once you use hindsight and look at those moments with the knowledge we have now, as in that this was their last concert as seven until 2025 because of enlistment, then that only makes them that much more special. Their emotions must’ve been crazy and to know that they felt the need to share those moments with each other and make them their own, especially in Jimin’s hometown just after Jimin’s birthday, it truly shows you that there is no other bond quite like theirs. 

Perhaps we should also soon talk about Jimin’s photobook since I have a lot of thoughts and theories on it, but that’ll come next time.

Lastly shout out to Admin 1 for editing this post a little which didn’t have any influence on the actual content just the language. Since they have more of a way with words than I do.

Talk to you next time!

[atomicdisappointment]

The Reckoning

Summary: You’re in the middle of a depressive episode, reaching a point where you’re unable to function properly, basically just sitting, isolated, in your room and feeling like sh*t. You haven’t contacted anyone in a few days, and Katsuki gets worried (relationship w/ him is ambiguous, could be a good acquaintance, could be a husband/partner back from a trip or something, idk, it’s up to you). 

A/N: This is kind of like a sequel to Ghosts and Tears, except it’s totally unrelated and in a different universe (unless u don’t want it to be... I don’t think there’s any conflicting information lmao). In this one, instead of you helping Bakugou through a panic attack, he comforts you during a depressive episode. This is pretty much just self-indulgent comfort character sh*t (sh*t being censored b/c there’s no swearing in the actual fic and I don’t want to have to add a swearing warning -_-). I needed this, and now you get it too! The title comes from that feeling when you’re not sure how someone is going to react to a piece of information. Here it’s the struggle with depression. It feels (to me) like once they find out there’s a reckoning, where everything’s on the line, waiting to see what they choose to do. Oh also:

second person, no pronouns or gender specific stuff mentioned anywhere =). 

Warnings: descriptions of a depressive episode, feelings of depression, dissociation, light paranoia, flinching when touched, neglect of needs, isolation... I think that’s it?

WC: 943

You're sitting with your head in your hands, palms covering your eyes and fingertips carded through your hair as sobs wrack your body. There are no tears, only a tight pain in your chest as you heave in shallow, strained breaths. You’re a mess, with spit covering your chin, surrounded by plates of half-eaten food. You couldn’t bring yourself to shower, could barely get yourself out of bed.

It wasn’t this bad before. A few days ago you were almost fine, if not a little tired. You just felt empty, and that feeling only got worse until this point. The culmination, you hope. Not sure how much more you can take.

You didn’t want him to see you like this, but what did you expect? You haven’t reached out to anyone in days, taking a break from work, even. Your friends were scared. He was scared. And now he’s here.

It starts with a soft knock on the door, followed by a gruff voice calling out your name into the silence. Your body curls further, as if trying to shrink into yourself. Maybe I can disappear. Maybe he’ll go away.

You, of course, don’t disappear. And he doesn’t go away. The knocking only gets louder, ringing in your head. You want to scream. The noise, the situation, only adds to your pain. You don’t want to see him. You want the silence back. You want to crawl back in bed, hold yourself, and fall asleep. Maybe this time, forever.

There’s a crash, and then it’s like your prayers were answered. There’s no more knocking, no more shouting voices. Only silence. Vaguely, you recognize that the problem isn’t solved. Katsuki isn’t gone, and from the crash you heard, it’s very likely he’s actually inside now. Closer to you, closer to the Reckoning. But it’s silent, and with your hands over your eyes it’s like you’re alone. Sitting in limbo, floating in emptiness.

But then you hear footsteps.

He pauses in the kitchen, you can almost imagine him looking at the sink full of unwashed dishes, the lights still on, the trash full. Maybe there’s a fine layer of dust over everything, now, after it’s been sitting for a few days. You could imagine him swiping a hand over the counter tops, looking at his fingers afterwards with disgust. Maybe concern?

But you don’t want to imagine it, only grateful for the silence his detour brings.

When they pick back up, the footsteps are faster, hurried towards your bedroom. You hear them only in the back of your mind, already adapting to block out the noise, create your own silence.

The gentle creaking of a door, and then a silence heavier than any before it. A silence filled with confusion, and shock. Probably also pity, and discomfort, you can’t help but think even though you’re only semi-conscious. Maybe now he’ll leave. We can both pretend this never happened.

When you feel his hand touch your back, right between your hunched shoulder blades, it shocks you. You almost jump, but it comes out as a flinch in your enervated state. You can almost hear the whoosh of air with how fast he pulls his hand back.

You hear your name, almost a whisper. It echoes around your skull.

You can feel his eyes as he judges the situation, weighing it in his hand as he decides a course of action. He could still walk away, uninvolve himself in this difficult situation. Could focus his attention on his damage to the front door and away from the situation lying on the bedroom floor in front of him. He could pop it back into its frame behind him as he goes back the way he came.

He could also get angry. He’s always been known for having a temper, and you haven’t contacted him in days, only for him to find you selfishly neglecting everything around you, from your relationships to your apartment to your own health. It’s enough to make anyone angry.

But you’re surprised when you feel warm fingers gently wrapping around your wrists, guiding your hands away from your face. It’s so delicate and patient, you begin to wonder if it’s even him in the room with you.

You slowly open your eyes, blinking away the film covering them to reveal Katsuki. He’s crouched in front of you, his deep red eyes boring into yours while his hands still hold your arms in front of you. He looks… worried. Nit pitying or angry or uncomfortable like you expected. Just concerned. The look warms your chest slightly, and you feel your breath come a little easier.

His palms are so soft, and you can’t help but relax into his grip. As you do, he sets your hands down and moves his own to cup your face. They’re so big, wrapping around your cheeks and under your jaw, his fingertips running through your hair while his pinky rests across the tops of your ears. It’s so… tender. The action and the emotions it conveys are equal parts surprising and soothing. You feel like you’re melting into his touch, sinking into the soft, pillowy skin.

But even with this unexpected support, you still feel exhausted. Drained. Your eyelids are heavy and your limbs droopy. You feel yourself sinking into unconsciousness, barely registering the movement as Katsuki rests your head against his chest, still cradling it in his arms. His warmth, the security his touch brings, the steady beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his breaths. It all only serves to further lull you to sleep, pushing you into your first deep, comfortable rest in days.