#i also don't love the hate they've been getting just for not being as heavy as they were smh

[tarotbyjam24]

messages from your future spouse

Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗

Masterlist \pick a cards

Disclaimer: This is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so🕊️

Thankyou for stopping by let's dive in ☄️,shall we ? Choose the pile you feel most drawn to 🧸

Pile 1

Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful .

Some people don't change no matter how hard you try.

But we can not simply sit and stare at our wonds forever .

You spread joy because you're joy that's what I admire most about you .

First love teaches us what love isn't .

It's better to feel the hurt of honesty then to live in a false comfort of lie .

The secret of life is to be obsessed with yourself and be kind to everyone around you.

Some days are just heavy .

Everything you lost will be replaced with something better.

Imagine being loved the way you love .

Pile 2

You haven't met the best version of yourself yet don't give up

when you choose yourself everything around you will choose you too

remember you can start again over and over as often as you need

people don't cry because they're weak it's because they've been strong for too long

the little things ? little moments ? they aren't little

perhaps we should learn to love ourselves so loudly , it silences our insecurities

I love seeing you happy

it happened so that you could grow

you will forever be my always

do it for your future self

Pile 3

You can't go back and change the beginning but you can start where you're and change the ending

expect nothing appreciate everything

you can also comit injustice by doing nothing

be patient. Sometimes you've to go through the worst to get best

how many time can the same thing break your heart ? As long as you love it

find joy in simple things life will always be fulfilling

In the end, I realized the hurt never turned to hate. No matter how much my emotions led me to feel so. I never stopped loving people. I stopped trusting them.

The art of observing and not absorbing

Not liking me is fine, but making up lies to destroy my character is weird.

Keep it private until you know it's permanent

Imagine being loved the way you love .

Pile 4

First love teaches us what love isn't .

Discipline is the strongest form of self love .

She's an old soul with young eyes, a vintage heart, and a beautiful mind

people talk about me behind my back and i just sit here like damn i got myself a fan club

It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations .

Forgive yourself for the mask you wore when you didn't feel safe enough to be yourself

YOU DON'T NEED EVERYONE TO love you, JUST A FEW GOOD PEOPLE

may every hour in your soul be golden, may it be filled with endless magic .

Vibes to carry through out the week

You're not sensitive. You're not overreacting. If it hurts you, it hurts you. Don't let anyone invalidate your feelings. Ever

I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀 Bless you and have a nice day 🫶🏻

Loads of love , jam\gem

Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open

[amber-lucca44]

the classic symptoms of a broken spirit (Vonnie's review 💕)

My rating: 8/10 ♥️

What I loved:

The industrial kind of sound they went for here

The cohesiveness of the tracks (they all go together really well)

Sam Carter's voice ahhhh 💕

The emotional lyrics (not new for Architects at all but always nice ♥️)

What I didn't love:

All tracks sounded very similar, which while, of course, it's the same album, they blend together a bit too much for me (might have to do with the mixing?)

Favorite song:

[xgraavyx]

I feel like a lot of people ignore Mariana's role in Sherlock and Co. I understand that the bond between Sherlock and Watson is a heavy focus in the original acd books, but Sherlock and Co is it's own thing. Mrs Hudson may not have played a large role in the books, but in Sherlock and Co she is one of the main characters. Ignoring her prominent role in their dynamic just so you can focus on Watson and Sherlock's dynamic is strange. You can still talk about their dynamic without ignoring one of the main characters. In Sherlock and Co I have always seen them all three as being like a family. Regardless of how you percieve their relationship, you cannot ignore the fact that Marianna is important to both of them. People shit on those who ship John and Mariana bc it "gets in the way of sherlock and watson" but that is such a stupid reason to hate a character. People can ship Watson with whoever they want. It isn't hurting anyone to have people ship him with Mariana.

Watson has a very lovely dymamic with both Sherlock and Mariana. I've seen people genuinely angry to see the podcast focus on Mariana and Watson for even a second. Sherlock and Watson have also had many one on one interactions. They've had a lot of focus on their dynamic and how it is built throughout the podcast. People being mad that Mariana also gets those growth opportunities despite her also being a main character is WILD. A man and woman can be platonic friends without being a threat to the "main ship" This reminds me of what happened to Mary in bbc sherlock. While I agree that Mary is a poorly written character, people give her way too much hate. Hating a character is fine, but hating a character just because she "gets in the way" of your ship is dumb. I don't like Mary in bbc sherlock. I think her being a spy was weird. Her death was only there to kickstart sherlock and watson's discord and I think that is a stupid reason to kill off a main character. It had no proper impact to the story and she only existed to contrast with Sherlock. Those are valid reason to hate her, but I don't just ignore her existance. She was still a part of the bbc sherlock canon regardless of how buchered her implimentation was. Mariana is a fun character and a lovely addition to sherlock and co. She has been given the same if not less focus than Sherlock and people still rarely include her in fan content. Yes Sherlock and Watson have a very interesting dynamic but I'd love to see more love for Marianna. She is a part of their family. Regarldess of if you see the dynamics between characters as romantic or platonic Marianna is still an important person to both Sherlock and Watson and I would love to see more of her. She is like the "straight man" of their dynamic. She handles the business aspect of their organization. She canonically eats with them at 221b very often. So much so that she doesn't even have a dining table in her flat. I love seeing different interpretations of her design. She is such a fun character and her personality flows very nicely with the others. Tldr I want to see more love for Mariana, and people who hate her unjustly get on my nerves lol. You can ship two characters without ignoring or hating on the girl character.

[weebsinstash]

you know what I wanna see. A yandere finding out they're getting platonicly cucked and getting like really offended because they find out you basically pretend to be a different person around them?

Like I can't decide which Hazbin man I'd like the idea for more but I keep veering back towards Alastor/Vox/poly radiostatic where they find out that you've just been keeping up an act with them and that you show the true you to other people, which hurts especially bad if he/they is a soulmate to you

For example, both men know you as this, shy reserved young lady who mostly keeps to herself and you do things like read books and do puzzles and you're overall pretty softspoken and kind of awkward. Then they catch you hanging out in public with a group of friends and you're standing there in a totally different outfit than they usually see you in, getting, basically just loud and happy as you interact with your friends? Just hollering out on the side walk or something, "no, no, you don't understand, when rock lee dropped the weights that was THE best anime moment of my entire childhood, it was iconic, rock lee was HIM, he was THAT GUY--" and you're laughing and snorting and all shoving each other around as you talk and goof off and you happen to look over and see Vox/Alastor there and just, deflate. You very obviously don't want them to see you like that. You have a very "oh shit I've been caught doing something I'm not supposed to and I'm going to get in trouble and I'm really worried and sad" visible reaction that they both clock immediately

Because imagine like... you were just doing this because you thought they would judge you and they never actually gave you a reason to hide things from them, you were just insanely anxious and feeling under pressure from the relationship that you hid everything you assumed they wouldn't like, which was... almost everything about you, so your new demonic hubby finds out you've been, in a way, essentially scared of him this whole time? Thinking he's a judgmental piece of shit which maybe he is but thinking he would do that to YOU though?

The two wanting to like actually I mean it genuinely HURT your friends because, what the fuck do you mean all of them have been getting to see this adorable true unique side of you and meanwhile the people you're actually 'supposed to be with' scare you and you lie to them and think they'll be cruel to you, kinda justifiably because they're notorious Overlords but also kinda unwarranted since they've been really nice to you specifically?

"what if Alastor didn't like if his darling was a gamer or heavy tech user" well what if Alastor wasn't a fan but he ultimately respected your autonomy enough to let you do it anyways because you're a working bill-paying adult and he's actually significantly more upset about the fact you think he would treat you poorly and would go to significant lengths to hide such huge parts of yourself from him?

"what if Mr Professional CEO Vox thinks his darling is a huge dork and cringe and wants to make you more traditionally feminine" yeah and what if Vox would LOVE a darling that can smoke weed and binge on pizza and anime with him and he's mad that you two could've been hanging out sharing genuinely mutual hobbies this whole time? (And also Vox is... a huge dork already ok the way he talks to the tvs and stuff is such dorky white guy shit fr if you told me he was in a frat with guys named Tanner and Hunter and Skyler and they chugged beer and watched family guy I would believe it immediately)

I'm even over here like, "what if Valentino started trying to force his employee crush to start looking and dressing a certain way and he's like 'hmm you know what? I hate it actually. Go back to doing your own thing, boo'" because he's actually like So Down that when you stop cracking jokes and being as cute he immediately hits the reverse

Lucifer finding out you've been trying to like, pretend to be this calm collected woman because you're trying to be formal and fancy with him as the king of hell and a creature that has existed since your entire family line existed and you're EXTREMELY intimidated, and then HE'S ALSO trying to be all macho and tough because, pwease dont hate him for being a lil small, he promises he can be a good husband for you 🥺👉👈 he's just a silly lil guy who loves his daughter and is a little goofy about ducks and then he finds out you're like, one of those "weird girls" who spent recess catching bugs and you can start rambling off about things like, "you know there's this misconception that mantis shrimp can see colors in a larger spectrum than humans can but some of the colors we can see that they cant involve certain 'transition' colors that are helpful for actually fully perceiving objects and seeing fuller shade ranges and things like shadows and--" and now you guys can watch nature documentaries together

But it's just like. You get the two sides of the same coin because, you can think of cute bonding moments when they find out who you really are and their opinions on your interests, AND you can think about them being INCREDIBLY jealous and possessive that you were trusting other people in a way you didn't trust them, and sometimes even people you know much less than them as well. Just because they're willing to share you by letting you have your own autonomy doesn't mean they're not going to get their feathers ruffled that you've been having what they perceive as actually quite intimate moments with, you know, people that aren't them :) it's the kind of thing that might make certain types awfully CLINGY, you know... some may even get a little POSSESSIVE over a discovery like this. good thing you've been practicing your charisma on all your little friends, because something is telling me your social circle just got a whooooole lot smaller.....

[ghouljams]

Hi. I slept around when i was 18-24 years old. I slept with 27 people (mostly one night stands) in total. I deeply regret this. My behavour started due to a sexual assault, which sent me into a spiral of alcoholism, self-hate and depression. I had almost most of my partners in a drunken state, some I don't even remember. Thankfully I have been sober for two and a half years and abstained from sex for three years. I have also reflected upon my actions and turned my life around. My past experiences and behaviour have really damaged how I percieve sex and my body. Since being abstained from sex I have realized how much it means. I want to start dating, to hopefully have a long-term commitment. I am however, terrified that my "encounters" will be a dealbreaker. This idea that men just "have to deal with it" is nice, but I think it is bs in reality. I think for most men it is a deal-breaker, and I have to live with that. But I do not wish to lie about my past to my future partner either, should the topic come up. Any thoughts or tips? Would love some perspective.

Wow. Heavy.

I sat with how, and if, to answer this for a while because I want to approach this with compassion and understanding.

First: I think talking this out with a therapist, if you aren't already, would help you out a lot. There are plenty of therapists who specialize in sexual trauma and I think that's what you should look for if you decide to seek help.

Second I want to say that I think this hard pendulum swing from hyper-sexuality to sexual guilt is too common, but no less harmful to the person experiencing it. I wish I could hold your hand when I say that I think you've moved from one form of self harm to another. Beating yourself up over decisions you made in the wake of a horrible trauma that came from a need to cope is not going to help you in the long run.

The way we perceive ourselves is constantly changing, but that doesn't mean we're always right. I also would caution you against putting "meaning" on sex. Sex is just sex. It's a thing people do for a million different reasons, some mean something and others don't. The idea that sex has some huge weight to it or is a special gift that you only give people you truly care about is incredibly dangerous and will only damage your perception of yourself further. It's also incredibly motivated by the idea that you can shame people into obedience.

Do not fall victim to indoctrination tactics that put you in a position of shame.

Here's the truth of the matter. For some men it will be a deal-breaker, and for others it won't be, but why would you want to chase after the men who dislike you for something you did out of self-preservation? Also in all honesty most men don't give a shit about how many people you've slept with. This idea that all men want a perfect virginal vessel is just absolute horseshit that's been perpetuated by misogynistic media and disseminated to the general population. The only thing a good partner will care about is if you're comfortable and interested in having sex with them.

Men don't care how many people you've had sex with. Men are dogs. Men are lucky to even get sex with everything they've done to you.

I also want to leave you with this: the way you talk about yourself and sex raises many alarm bells. I don't know if you have a deeply christian background or if you've recently gotten involved with a church, but they are not helping you. I would caution you against placing too much weight behind the decisions you made in the past impacting the way your future will go. You are not a sinner who's been permanently marred by your deeds. You are a person who made choices you now regret and that's ok. Your future is dependent on the people you surround yourself with and the way you present yourself. Sex doesn't mean anything unless you want it to, but the people that tell you sex means everything are hurting you.

[j0kers-light]

I was wondering if you would maybe want to write a Joker x reader where the reader has issues with her spine? I had to get spinal fusion surgery a few years ago due to severe scoliosis. And I’m doing a lot better now. But I still have some chronic pain, and difficulties doing things that involve my upper body and lifting heavy weights. It’s also still hard for me to twist without pain, and to use my back to lift things. And I have a long scar going down my whole back that i feel like joker would be curious about. Especially because I don’t tell people about my surgery/pain because I don't want to seem whiny. So if Joker was real I would try to never mention it tbh. But I have to occasionally get a yearly check up x-ray. So I would probably have to explain why on earth I’m going to the hospital for x-rays 🤣

I am kinda curious about how joker would act, and If the reader having lots of issues and weakness would change their dynamic at all. And if he'd be more protective or the same. I feel like he might be more protective just because I have 21 screws in my back. So if I got into some kind of accident where they get loose, they could maybe pierce my internal organs, but that's kind of unheard of and should hopefully never happen 😅😅 Sometimes when I have a lot of pain I do get paranoid that they've somehow come undone and I feel my scar for any bumpy spots 🫠🤢 But that's more of a me thing and my anxiety 😅🤣

Anyways this is totally a self insert and this ended up really long so if you don’t want to write it I totally understand 🥰😅 Sorry I wrote so much😅

His Lighthouse: Screws n' All (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Screws n' All - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

Hey hi anon!! 🖤✨

Please don't hate me for the extremely long time you had to wait for this oneshot (since July 2024?!) I feel ashamed! For your patience, it was an honor to flesh out your self insert and you should know by now, Chaos is all for representation! I must thank you for your patience because sweet Gaia... If you wish to sue, I deserve it.

I hope you are taking care of yourself and being absolutely beautiful!! Chaos hopes you enjoy love! 🖤✨

If you wish to be a part of the His Lighthouse taglist, do let me know via comment, ask, or a quick direct message!

In the many months that you and Joker been together you learned a lot. One, he is still just as much a mystery than when you first met, and two: Joker is very observant.   

Every little thing that involves you, he’s on it. His green eyes flickered with curiosity, scanning the world around his Bunny—searching for anything out of place. Anything that might bring harm to you or expose him, he acknowledged. You became immune to his protective nature that spiraled into toxic obsession.  

Joker had yet to hurt you so what harm was there being loved by him? 

Despite his attentive nature, you did well to conceal your biggest flaw. The long scar running down the expanse of your back.  

You felt it with every shift you made, the many screws that held you together. Days when your anxiety grew too much, you swore you could feel them moving around and frantically rubbed your skin for any bumpy spots. But that was just your paranoia.   

Pain did crazy things to your brain, that much was certain. However, your paranoia was real when it came to everyday activities.  

You waited until Joker wasn’t looking to do something as simple as bending over or to lift something heavy.

You didn’t want to come off as grouchy, but it did hurt. You masked your winces of pain and smiled whenever he asked why you were moving too slow.   

“Nothing J!” you refused to be weak in his presence.   

Joker was the last person to understand your problems. He was notorious for being impatient and judgmental. Any sign of weakness was a turn off for Joker. You knew that and avoided it at all cost.   

But you could sense the clock running out. The day circled on your calendar loomed closer and closer. It was time for your annual checkup.   

You were uncertain about how you would sneak out of the apartment and avoid Joker finding out and following you. He still had a detail team watching your every move anytime you stepped a foot outside—there had to be a way to avoid detection.   

The last thing you wanted was for Joker to see just how weak you truly were. It was still hard for you to twist without sharp stabs of pain to shoot up your spine. You refused for him to see you naked and discover your not so little secret.   

Yet the day crept closer and closer with Joker being as clingy as ever.   

“Whatcha wanna do today, Bun? Hm? Another uhh... movie mar-a-thon orrrrr should we film another cookin’ show?” He bounced on the couch, unknowingly sending pain running up your back.  

Why couldn’t he sit still for once? The constant Gotham rain was not helping your chronic pain either.  

You simply wanted to suffer in silence today. Joker would not have it. Maybe if you closed your eyes and pretended to sleep he would go away? Nope. You cried out in pain when Joker stood up and tugged on your arms.   

The pressure on your upper back had tears pooling in your eyes and Joker instantly focused on you as a result.  

“Y/n?! What? What’s wrong?”   

You fell back with a huff, trying hard to will the pain away.  

Joker’s words quite literally went through one ear and out the other and he didn’t help when he crowded your space.   

Any other day you would have loved to see his bare face, freckles and all, up close. Joker was handsome without his signature clown makeup and those green eyes of his...  

But right now they highlighted how different you were. He was laser focused on finding the problem. You were fed up with it ruining your life. You missed being healthy, active, and full of life. Now you couldn’t do anything without risking pain.   

You didn’t know you were crying until Joker pulled your hands away from your face. “No no, nooooo no no. None of that, my Light. No.” 

 He sat on the coffee table and wiped your tears away with his thumb. “Now, mind uhhh tellin’ me what’s all thisss abouT?”  

“C’mon. My girl doesn’t cry for nothing.” J hummed when you continued to sob.  

Each tear was a knife to his own back. He was never one for consoling others but this was his Light. You were an exception. Joker would have pulled you into his arms and rubbed your back but he knew you hated being touched there.   

He noticed a lot about you.   

Joker never seen your back (ironic, you never seen his) you always hesitated before doing something strenuous, and you hated being touched there. He wasn’t dumb. You were hiding something.   

You never mentioned your aversions and he didn’t pry.  

A person’s past was private but he wanted to know everything about yours. Which was hypocritical since you would never know about his. Whatever! This was different.   

He was serious about his relationship. You were his world. Your happiness was his joy. Your pain was his next victim, and he knew you were hurting.  

He would take it upon himself to rid whatever ailed you if only you would communicate.   

“Bunny.. talk to me huh? Is it... ahh about this Friday?” you stopped crying instantly. Bingo.  

Joker snorted as he scratched his head. You weren’t that smart circling the date in red on the calendar. Talk about being obvious. “Yeah, figured it was somethin’ im-port-ant. Did I do something?”  

“No! It’s not your fault J. I-It's mine.” You wiped your eyes and shifted on the couch with a grimace. The infamous Joker was sitting before you picking his nails, wanting to know if he hurt you.  

The dynamic the two of you had was insane.   

“It’s complicated.” You said.  

“Then maKe it uncomplicated.” Joker hissed.   

You knew that tone. He was getting frustrated. This was exactly what you wanted to avoid. Your anxiety was at an all time high so you acted without thinking things through.   

You sat up slowly to take off your shirt. “Woah! H-Hey uhh whatcha doin’ there doll?” Joker said in a panic.   

He wasn’t fazed by your nudity (he loved your body) but now was not the time for that! You didn’t speak, even as you struggled to raise the fabric over your head. A frustrated huff signaled Joker to help you. 

He leaned forward to help lift your hands up, kissing your nose before it disappeared under the cotton shirt and then off. You were still beautiful with teary eyes. “A goddess.” J whispered.  

He tossed the shirt somewhere in the room and watched as you began to turn around. Try was the better word.   

You twisted about halfway when the weather outside and your chronic pain clashed.

You whimpered and Joker was right there to reposition you on the couch facing away from him. The assistance highlighted how helpless you truly felt.  

It all happened in slow motion. Joker seen some nasty wounds (and created far worse with his bare hands) but seeing the long scar on your back, hit him square in the chest.   

“Oh Y/n...”  

You jumped sensing Joker’s finger trace the beginning scar tissue near your shoulder blades. It ran straight down following the curve of your spine until it ended a little above your tailbone.

You hadn’t seen it in a while but you would bet a few bucks it was inflamed. Ugly.  

Ugh, you hated your scar and it showed by how your shoulders hunched inward. You wanted to hide even if Joker had a front row view to your most vulnerable part.  

His finger came to a rest in the center of your back when you heard his raspy voice. “How many?”  

How did he know? That was a question for another day.  

You caught his jade eyes out the corner of your eye. “Twenty-one. C-Can you see them?!” You reacted fast, trying to reach around and feel for bumps that weren’t there.   

At least not on the surface.   

Joker caught your left hand and squeezed tight. “Why didn’t ya tell me doll?” 

You clicked your tongue. “That I’m a freak? Yeah, I kinda forgot. Silly me. Hi, my name is Y/n and I have twenty-one screws holding me together oh, and I’m in constant pain.” you always used sarcasm to deflect your true emotions. 

A bad coping mechanism that clearly didn’t work on Joker. He’d fix your attitude later.   

For now he just hummed and traced the fullness of your back.

He wanted to memorize every ridge and valley that made you, you. And just when you thought you couldn’t take any more of his soft featherlike touches, you felt his lips searing into your skin.   

One kiss landed on your lower back, another just above it, until twenty-one kisses branded your spine.  

Joker left a final kiss on your shoulder before speaking up. “And? I love ya screws n’ all, Y/n. Did ya think it would bother me? Me?” 

You leaned back into Joker’s chest as he kissed the slope of your shoulder and neck. It felt nice but his words felt even better.   

“I don’t care bout that stuff. I got a won-der-ful goddess in my arms. Per-fect in every way. You love my scars don’tcha, Bunny? Why can’t I love yours?” He sighed onto your skin.   

Okay he did have a point, yet your brain was still ignorant. “But mine are different. What if I get into some accident and they get loose? They c-could pierce my organs or something!”  

Joker rolled his eyes, “Seriously Y/n? Is that even possible?”  

“It could!!” you whined. You squirmed in his hold but he held firm. You weren’t going anywhere. Joker had a lot of work to do in order for you think logically.   

“Mmmm, then I won’t let ya get in an accident. There. Problem solved.”   

He made it sound so simple. You knew you were the safest person in Gotham, right here in Joker’s arms. Half nude with your lover scattering kisses and the occasional bite on your skin. Joker was getting a little artsy given how he kept trying to urge you down onto the couch. 

That was the last thing you wanted and you called his name to get his attention.   

“My appointment is a few days away! Don’t you dare leave hickeys.” You could already sense the embarrassment when your doctor and radiology team found the ‘masterpiece’ J wanted to create.  

He was obsessed with leaving his mark on you. And the clown thought it was funny. Constantly wearing high collars and scarfs in the dead of summer was not amusing. He did stop nibbling on your neck. Thank goodness.  

“Fine, fine. So booooore~ring.” He loudly kissed your check before leaning back on the couch with you in his arms. His warm chest did wonders for your aching back.  

The two of you sat in silence and watched the downpour of rain beat against the window.  

“Ya know I meant it right? I don’t care about that stuff. I’ll uhh go to your checkup with ya if you’ll stop cryin.” 

Now that made you turn a bit to glare at Joker. “You will? How?”   

He looked offended. “I have you knoooow, I’m an ex-cell-ent nurse when I wanna be. I’ll blend righT in. Don’tcha want me there for moral supporT? Hm? I’ll hold ya hand..”  

You don’t have the heart to tell J he wouldn’t be allowed in the x-ray room but the thought was there. Joker was secretly a softie, only for you.  

“Tempting, oh alright. You can come only if you promise not to kill anyone before Friday.” you nodded your decree.

Simple expectations to follow since it was just a few days out. He went much longer without a tantrum.  

Joker visibly cringed behind your back. “Uhh yeah. Before Friday.” 

You smiled and started dozing off, blissfully unaware your lover was panic cancelling a big mission and rearranging his week’s schedule in his head.

He probably just needed to stay at home this week to meet this no-kill requirement. The things he did for you.  

[paperstorm]

I think the writers were conscious of the potential for Judd to be unsympathetic in this storyline, which is why they made it so Charlie is with her grandparents. It lets them put Judd in a place where he doesn't feel capable of caring for her, without having to write him neglecting her. On the whole the storyline doesn't quite work for me because of the Grace element (I just cannot conceive of a world where she wouldn't come back when things are so bad for her husband and daughter) but I appreciate that part of it because having Charlie suffering as a result of Judd's addiction would be a HEAVY storyline for the final few episodes of the show!

So, I actually think Judd is quite unsympathetic in some ways in this story and for me, that is the point. Him being kind of a bad father right now is the point, it's part of the stakes of this storyline. He's drunk at work, he's hurting himself, he's neglecting his child, he's resenting his wife, those are all the stakes of the storyline because if his drinking wasn't negatively affecting anything, there would be no driving reason for him to need to get help.

After having issues myself with the way the Jonah storyline has been written it would be crazy hypocritical of me to say that people have to love this other story so if it doesn't work for you or anyone else I think that's totally fine. But for me, these things are the ugly side of addiction that I think it's so, so important to show if you're going to tackle a story like this. Like TK 1000% did things that would have also made him look like a really bad and unsympathetic person, we just never saw it because he was on the first day of his recovery when we met him. That's why I said in another answer that the story they're telling with Judd is way harder than the one they've told with TK, because it is a really fine line between being realistic about what addiction looks like but also not making the audience hate the character. But I do think that things like Judd not being a great father right now are the point. That's what the addiction is taking from him, because it's a wildfire and it takes and it takes and it takes until it's convinced you that you're so rotten you don't deserve to get better. That is how the disease thrives, by turning you into someone you don't recognize and then convincing you it's who you were all along.

And as a society, we have to get over the hump of only having empathy for perfect victims. We have to be able to see an addict being ugly and bad and dirty and hurting other people, and believe that they are every bit as worthy of care and help as someone who is behaving in ways that are easier for us to romanticize. I appreciate the uglier places they were willing to take Judd because that's real, and feeling discomfort over watching him doing things like resenting Grace and neglecting Charlie is the point. You're supposed to hate that he's doing those things. Addiction is ugly, and dressing it up does a disservice to the broader conversation around it.

Again, how I feel. I'm not mad if someone sees it differently.

[batsplat]

sampras tops generous agassi is insane LMAO. thank you for that lovely pt. 2 to the sampras/agassi rivalry essay!!!!!! i showed my friend your first post and she said, of agassi's biography quotes (specifically the "pete, always pete" motif): "OK THATS INSANE.... whys he writing like this is the song of Achilles or something. i could recognize him by touch alone core" andlksjfd and i found it very apt

please it's no trouble, I LOVE talking about them. and yes!! yes!! I LOVE how poetic about this stuff agassi is, how he really just like... gets the narrative appeal of sports, how he's so singularly capable of putting words to it. and how he talks about sampras! where he knows they're both alike in some fundamental ways, that there's something they've shared with each other that can never be erased... that sampras will always be part of his story, inescapable, inevitable. as always, pete. but also this fundamental feeling of separation. of alienation. of not being able to breach that divide

which is a PERFECT excuse to bring in perhaps my favourite interview agassi ever did, courtesy of der spiegel around the time of the release of the autobiography. it's quite extensive and the whole thing is very much worth a read. unsurprisingly given that it's a german magazine, a lot of attention is paid to agassi's relationship with steffi graf - and those bits are particularly sweet and sad

SPIEGEL: Both of you were drilled by fathers who wanted to control everything. Agassi: What is right is that both of us were in our fathers' hands. I told a lot of people that I hated tennis -- seriously and strongly hated it -- and they all tried to talk me out of it: "Ah, that is not right, Andre; in fact you love tennis, don't you?" Do you want to know what Stefanie said: "Don't we all?"

god.

there's also a fair bit about agassi's relationship with his father, so fair warning that those parts are all quite heavy. AND it's also very interesting on the actual writing process for the autobiography and how agassi's collaboration with moehringer came about. plus it takes some fun swings at chang and courier, for old time's sake. but to turn back to sampras, there's just something so striking about how agassi describes what it felt like playing tennis -

SPIEGEL: Mr. Agassi, is it possible for a happy person to win Wimbledon? Andre Agassi: For me, it's hard to imagine. SPIEGEL: Roger Federer seems to actually enjoy playing. Agassi: Yes, maybe. But, in my world, this is impossible. The maximum were short moments of peace during a match which we, the players, used to call "the Zone." But you couldn't plan it. It was never constant. And it went by very fast. SPIEGEL: Does a tennis professional have to be obsessed? Must there be some kind of trauma for him or her to be good? Agassi: While I was winning Wimbledon, I felt like I would die. I feared to fail; I feared embarrassment.

- and then later in the interview gives his thoughts on sampras -

SPIEGEL: For years, the rivalry between you and Pete Sampras was magical to a worldwide audience. Is there still a connection between the two of you? Agassi: There is a lot of respect. I believe that, without Pete, I would have won more and learned less. SPIEGEL: He appears to have been as driven as you were. He had to sleep in ice-cold rooms in total darkness. Was he obsessed or traumatized, as well? Agassi: We were all driven. And, of course, there is something strange about tennis: Egocentric and narcissistic behavior can win; torture and the isolation of players may lead you to the top. Pete and I shared our life and our fate; we were together all year long. But we were lonely. If there was not the net separating us, there was a wall.

and... yeah. "if there was not the net separating us, there was a wall". nyhhhhh this idea that to be a good tennis player, you need to embrace the worst aspects of yourself, that you need to make yourself suffer... egocentric, narcissistic - a sport of the tortured and the isolated... pete and I shared our life and our fate; we were together all year long. but we were lonely........ god. GOD. what more is there even to say!!

which is really agassi's gift, isn't it... putting words to the dark underbelly of the sport that everyone who's spent enough time in that world is aware of - but may never be forced to confront. tennis is hell, it can be one of the loneliest experiences imaginable - and so much of agassi's story is about attempting to stave off that fundamental horror. surrounding himself by as many people as possible, trying to live a real and full and loud life... because whenever he stepped on court he had to face The Horror once again. rivals who can share a life and a fate but can never truly understand each other, a net dividing the players that might as well be a wall... as always, pete - and as always, alone

[jesncin]

please do tell about why woman of tomorrow sucks i love reading your takes they’re always so well written

Sure! And thank you for throwing me this bone because WOOF

(btw it's totally fine for people to like Woman of Tomorrow, and I can even see why! This is just my experience with it that I wish was talked about more)

Quick context: Woman of Tomorrow is about a space farmgirl named Ruthye who seeks revenge on Krem, a guy who killed her dad. Supergirl guides her on this journey so they can learn lessons about grief and revenge.

The biggest flaw of the comic is the narrative prose. Ruthye's dialogue is a rambly, over-indulgent, stylized mix of an attempt at medieval Shakespearian speak, but then in the last few issues the writer remembers she's a farmgirl so he decides she should suddenly say "ain't" more often and speak in double negatives to sound a bit more Southern. I can enjoy wordy comics! But Ruthye's dialogue and narration is blatantly excessive purple prose. So many scenes would hit harder with a less-is-more approach while still being stylized and characteristic. Sometimes the narrations pairs nicely with the art to create layered irony, but most of the time it feels like it's disregarding the comics medium altogether.

The other thing about Ruthye's narration is that it holds the story back. I get that the narration is Ruthye writing from the future, but the way it's done gives us a very passive relationship with the events of the story. We don't get to be with the characters in the action heavy moments because we're reading caption boxes of Future Ruthye rambling about poetry recounting The Battle of Capes. I'm not experiencing grief or dread with the characters, I'm being told about it. All of Ruthye's narrative rants boil down to "Supergirl is really badass, sad and kind. I promise this is deep." and "here's how my farm girl experience is relevant to this". Ruthye also speaks in glowing admiration, idealization and worship of Supergirl; it makes it really hard to get to know Kara in a humanizing way. I'm sure the purple prose hits differently for others, but I personally think the story would have more room to breathe without it.

You know how people like saying "Superman is boring because everything is too easy for him, he's too powerful" yeah that's Woman of Tomorrow. The conflict Kara faces are not challenges to her character, they're inconveniences. The resolutions to each story don't feel clever or earned. Kara just knows where to find the murdered purple aliens, Kara just happens to have a silver age-reference magical horse that can outrun the suffering-ball Krem throws at her, Kara just toughs out 10 hours in the green sun. Why be a smart storyteller when you can just give your heroine the upper hand every single time? There could've been a great bonding moment where Ruthye uses her famer-smarts to build shade for Kara, she could've crafted a salve to protect Kara's skin. But I guess having her guard Kara from dinosaurs is ok. Kara helps of course, even though she's dying because she's so cool, badass, sad, kind, etc.

Kara's internal conflict is that she was hoping that taking Ruthye on this journey would teach the farmgirl a lesson about revenge, but has Kara herself learned to move on? She's still thinking about Krypton after all. The problem with how this is presented is that it's not a flaw that we get to see evolve with the story. We see Kara act mopey, get an origin story flashback and then Kara tells us this- in hopes it'll recontextualize everything you've read before. By the time we make it to the end, the characters act like they've learned so much and I'm just standing here wishing I got to see all this growth they're talking about.

At the heart of it, I feel like Woman of Tomorrow represents the side of Super-fandom that wants to see the Kryptonians deified by the narrative. They hate seeing Kara do silly girly rom-com teenager things, she needs to be SERIOUS and EDGY and SAD and ALONE but like a god would be and not how a young woman would be that way. How else will boys take her seriously? Don't forget to remind the reader that she's STRONGER than her boy scout wholesome cousin! There's potential in a short revenge story about young girls finding hope in seeing a role-model woman survive loss, but not like this.

"You don't think I could've solved all those problems? C'mon I'm Supergirl." I sure love seeing female characters be badass girl-god legends who don't get to be humanized by being unflatteringly flawed people. Anyway the better Supergirl grief+revenge story is "Supergirl: Being Super". I don't think it's perfect because it misses the crucial difference between Kal and Kara among other things- but as a story about a teenage heroine learning how grief shapes her and those around her, it's way better.

Woman of Tomorrow's art is stellar though lmao would get a copy just as an artbook to reference.

[tiredassmage]

veilguard thoughts!

rook + solas parallels edition

spoilery ofc because my head's not full of cotton balls today and i haven't stopped chewing on it all since i finished the game! so! this is a little endgame heavy; you've been warned for what's below the cut <3

the final first playthrough counter has come in just over 67 hours and i am all but physically holding myself back from launching right into another one with another rook because i had a blast. i'll concede it was a bit heavy on the exposition in the first several hours, but what followed has certainly won my heart, and i think the game is visually beautiful.

but i'm not even looking to do a full review here, but i think one of the most fascinating things this game did was set up rook and solas. so, two parts of preface then: one, i was a little determined to love this game and hoped it would at least perform decent. that's my spite about it, lol, but that's not the point, so we're not here about that. two, one of my admitted concerns when they had first announced this game having its own protagonist was... that i wasn't sure there was another person to finish solas's story other than the inquisitor, and this isn't a solavellan thing for me, though my beloved canon inquisitor is a lavellan. solas's friendship wasn't the biggest hitch in inquisition for me, but it was important to my inquisitor. he wanted to prove his friend wrong.

i don't believe hallaren had a plan at the time for how to achieve that. he wasn't sure it was actually possible to convince solas the dalish were not as lost a cause as he seemed to believe, but he had to try.

and when i started veilguard, i wouldn't say i'd have anticipated the parallels of solas and rook, nor how well they ended up working for me. i admit: they got me. i didn't see that twist coming. and the hindsight of losing varric from the beginning makes a lot hurt (i say that as a compliment). i think it's easy enough to explain why i didn't see it, why (my, at least) rook didn't puzzle it out, but i also readily admit i'm historically bad at seeing these kinds of things, so you're free to be amused on your own time, lol.

anyway. regret. not becoming what you hate, what you claim to fight against. not being beholden to what you were or what you've lost. the game hits these beats several times, and i think its a real beautiful repeating thing they've done if you hammer all the companion's stories with the main deal, and i did the memories of the dread wolf as well. rook and the inquisitor have a conversation about it that about touches on all of it way more eloquently than i could summarize.

and, of course, part of the reveal is solas did dabble with blood magic on the matter of varric's death, did set rook up for the level of regret and grief they must settle with to trap them in the fade - a prison fit for gods, a prison fit for a god's regrets.

and this is where i transition into blorbo-specific thoughts. because i think part of what fascinates and delights me so much about the rook and solas, potentially two sides of the same coin deal is how tyr's relationship with solas starts and then develops.

tyr does not trust solas from the outset. which i think is where a very interesting presentation of similar (at their roots) choices begins, as varric says: in a bar, as all good stories. one of the first story notifications we get is how rook chooses to handle the bar owner: charm your way out, or a more direct approach, and we're told varric takes note of this.

varric's own plan is an appeal to solas's nature. to talk his way out. as is varric's way.

normally, i'd call tyr the kind of character (having played with him as an oc in various medias for oh... going on 2 years, is it? maybe 3? time's fake, different post) to also prefer talking his way out. but he doesn't believe solas will listen. so he rebukes varric's plan of just waltzing up and charming him with his babygirl eyes.

then at d'meta's crossing, he spares the mayor. not because he doesn't hear the concern that the greedy bastard will fall to said greed again, and not out of an entirely conscious mandate for live with the consequences of your actions, but... in hindsight with other choices, i'd argue it's... from at least a little of that kind of place.

he tries and fails to reason with the first warden. several times. in the heat of weisshaupt, and with the recent conversation with solas about whatever it takes on his mind, he ends up decking the man. the stakes are too high for risking the first warden staying on his high horse again if another attempt at reason fails, is the driver of the decision.

i'd chewed for a while on how that would seem to make tyr's commitment to "talking things through" indicated by that first choice in the bar inconsistent. it all seems justifiable at the time, and he didn't get to the place with the first warden he was out of intentional malice, but he still wound up there.

much of that is natural by the circumstances he was presented. by making calls with the information and under the conditions that were present at the time, as anyone, not just rook, would have to do under such circumstances, if they traded places. sure, some of it is also by solas's engineering of his conversations with rook. by setting them up to be a leader asked to make those hard calls. maybe even for arguably goading them a bit into a situation where whatever it takes was their only feasible option. which neve has a great comment on:

this is, i think, most directly about varric's death, but also, personally, i have to say is applicable for solas's intervention during blood of arlathan.

so, back to blorbo for a moment. tyr begins from a place that mistrusts solas's motives. the I'm quoting you here, "lies, treachery, and rebellion" kind of mistrust. and then, as things progress, as the team unveils more about solas's past in the crossroads and through the murals, it circles back to what I think motivated much of his comment to varric that talking with solas wouldn't work: that even if solas has any regret for what's happened, he's too stubborn to concede, too trapped by the mistakes of that past to ever admit fault, to hear himself sound like the 'gods' he claims to despise. tyr continues to take solas's advice into consideration the whole time, true, because it's... hard to discount the only potentially close to the problem kind of advice and knowledge they don't... exactly otherwise have themselves. he's not sure what the other shoe dropping in that equation is going to look like, but he's more convinced it'll happen than he is entirely happy with the situation.

the murals create... a hunch. or develop it. that rather than just being too prideful about the harm he'll cause by tearing down the veil, that solas is trapped in this plan by his regrets and guilt for actions of the past. at that point, tyr... has a better understanding about how they got to this point, but it kind of only solidifies his reservations that solas might actually be reasoned with.

the one moment this is changed, then, is during blood of arlathan. because frankly i think that was one of the worst experiences tyr has in the entire game. elgar'nan's influence in their minds, and an incident where they're trapped with no conceivable way out and potentially facing down an archdemon again, not so long after weisshaupt that the losses have stopped aching.

whatever his reasons or motivations and whatever else happens, solas saves their lives. tyr can't find a way around that one, and he's not even certain he wants to. because it's one of the definitive moments where he didn't have a plan, and he was terrified the tables had finally turned against them, and they'd fail.

it's not... trust. but tyr's also spent all this time working with his team on this concept that change shouldn't exactly be beyond anyone if there's a little effort put in. and whatever his own feelings are, varric wanted to believe in his old friend, and so does the inquisitor - both people he respects greatly, and he's constantly calculating their desire for a better outcome into the rubix cube that is trying to figure out how to stop the gods.

the problem then, is that solas all but instantly takes advantage of this... lapse. this faint relaxation of tyr's guard against his manipulations. that whole little incident with the fade after ghilan'nain's fall is all but immediately after, and its a betrayal nearly thrice or so over in rapid succession: that varric's been dead this whole time, that solas has manipulated him and how he feels responsibility for the team and the regrets that arise out of having to make hard choices, especially in times like these, and then on the other side of the fade, that solas has gone to minrathous, solas is playing "hero" about it all in tyr's and the shadow dragons' backyard. and to add salt to the wound, in minrathous, it's been blood magic all along.

and, y'know. solas says sorry, says he won't tear down the veil by his own hand, but hands rook the weapon to do it for him. sets them up again. so maybe that's more like... four or five times, depending on your count and categorization of it all.

and rook has a choice about all of this to make, a certain level of peace they have to make with it all to even get out of the fade. and how much to follow varric's advice about don't become what you hate - what you were fighting all along, or trapped by what you lost.

here's tyr's opinion that solas has more than likely been beyond reason because he's too far gone on his own path to even see that he's done exactly that: that he talks like elgar'nan's control, he's just dressing it up in a different way. that he's trapped by what he's lost and sacrificed and admitting that will be too much.

and here's tyr's inescapable bitterness of having been betrayed, of having spent so long trying to be careful with the god of trickery only to have danced right to his tune the whole time. a fiery emotional response for a threat to his home, to minrathous that he's tried very hard to protect and leave a smidgen better than he found it in this whole fight.

by circumstance... and by a little of solas's own design then, rook and solas confront the same trouble of what sacrifice being a leader demands. what cost is too high? how much is too much?

i had the pieces at that point for the ending with mythal, but now i had tyr bitter and a bit more resentful about solas - in a kind of pain about betrayal that was still asking why? about it rather than worried about if regret was present or meaningful. which is where this came from in my head akdfnas;dfnsadf

you're both thinking it. and the endings directly focus on whether or not solas succeeds in tearing down the veil, but the thematic part of it, to me, was... do rook and solas recognize where they might be held back? does tyr act on the pain and resentment of betrayal and swing blindly at solas as repayment? or is it bigger than both of them? is it about posing the question to solas about regret? how much is it like what drove solas to this point to act on that resentment? is it just retaliation? or did either of them learn anything from that prison in the fade?

and that's what makes the parallel, and it's what sets them apart.

and that's how, still, in the end, i have tyr who is willing to choose trying to reason one last time. for the sake of the advice of an old friend. for the people that brought them this far, the ones who chose to believe against the odds. and maybe, even, a little bit for himself. a choice against letting regret and resentment rule.

for the sake of it and because i couldn't get this game out of my head, i checked out the other endings, just to see, and i... think i like sticking with convincing him the best for both of them.

the trick with the dagger swap i think is the only other fitting course of action tyr might've taken from that point, and i think some of its elements reflect similar beats here about... learning from the past, if you will.

the accusation of likeness to the gods is still there. the banter about wits. i am a fool who finally met his match. one might argue that's for underestimating rook, which... fair enough, but i think... it also falls in line with solas's regrets, the appeal to be made to his nature, the... want, in the end, to be proven wrong. to find a 'better' way, as once he suggested to the inquisitor, and as mythal's release from debt and rook and the inquisitor's forgiveness, if you will, finally allows.

and that is... very satisfying to have said between them, when it's been on tyr's mind the whole time. and... they can both be proven wrong this way: for tyr, that solas wasn't beyond listening, and for solas, that there was another way.

for both of them that they could move on from what these trials have made of them, what they have done, and what they endured.

and man... man that was good. and so, so satisfying. it worked, veilguard. you sold me on these two as parallels to each other.

and that's just... one of many things in this game that gave me a lot of emotions, but this has already been. a helluva ramble, so if you've made it this far, congratulations and i salute you, lol.

i'm sure i'll do it all over again and have even more thoughts about even more rooks to throw around and chew on with this and what it'll reflect about each of them and that's. MMM. that's delicious. i loved this game. if my brain and time cooperates, i'm sure i'll have more thoughts and maybe even some writings for it in the future, we'll see where the blorbos take me. xD

[charismabee]

Thinking about the Hunted and the Paranoid They'd be such a force to be reckoned with if one of the others got hurt (assuming separate bodies for my convenience). They'd both immediately be in protective mode because a) injured member of the flock, susceptible to preditors, must protect until healed and b) if its not properly treated it might get worse, it might get infected and then they'll die and a piece of the group will be lost and then they'll all start dying and everything will be terrible forever.

So whoever is injured is dragged to the nest or whatever place is currently safest to be fussed over by the Paranoid while the Hunted watches over them. I can see the Hunted being like 'I'll protect you' and sitting on top of them, covering their body like an overprotective blanket while Paranoid worries over them being crushed or suffocated by the protective cuddle. They're fine Hunted is like 90% fluff and feathers. Not that heavy, perfect blanket. Everyone who isn't injured has to avoid them because Hunted will lash out if you get too close to the injured person he's protecting, abs then they get stuck in there with the injured person because they've been scratched.

I can see the others reacting in a variety if different ways to this.

Hero, Broken, Opportunist, and Smitten would probably enjoy the attention.

Hero a bit more bashful and grateful for the help even if its excessive which it probably is.

Broken being a mix of shocked that anyone would be nice to him and mopey about how he doesn't deserve it and what's the point in helping him. He's just going to get hurt again later anyway.

Opportunist takes the opportunity (ha) to get attention and affection and conformation that everyone likes him because let's be honest with ourselves he may act cocky but that man is desperate.

Smitten is a weird one. He's the type to be all 'these five stab wounds are nothing in the face of my dedication and love', but he probably loves being taken care of. He would prefer if it was the princess though.

Cold and Skeptic would just put up with it.

Cold doesn't care enough to stop them, though he will tell them that he's fine and they're being stupid and his broken arm isn't a problem, pain isn't a bad thing, they don't believe that and Paranoid tries yet again to explain to him why pain is bad.

Skeptic knows it's excessive but he also knows it'll soothe their worries if he lets them confine him to the nest for a week. He can do his philosophy in there it isn't a huge deal for him. He gets to pester them about the inner workings of their minds while he's there too, enrichment.

Cheated, Contrarian, and Stubborn would complain the whole time.

Cheated would so be a whiner about the whole thing. He hates being hurt, and he hates being taken care of even more. It's like an admission that whatever hurt him won. Which it didn't. He'd be even more upset if they didn't fuss over him though because that wouldn't be fair.

Contrarian would hate being stuck in one place for an extended period of time. Just knowing he's not allowed to leave makes him want to really bad, plus he gets bored easy and Hunted keeps puffing up and hissing at everyone until they leave so he can ensure Contrarian is safe so he only has these two worryworts to talk to and they're no fun to wind up because they're too busy fussing to react to his japes and such.

Stubborn would hate being seen as weak. He doesn't need to be protected or patched up, he's stronger than that. They'd still get him to let them do it, but like the Skeptic it's only for their piece of mind. He still complains the whole time.

Hunted would hate being injured and having Paranoid fuss over him. He doesn't like staying still. He'd probably sit through it though because he's objective enough to understand that if injured he does need to heal. After all, how will he evade preditors if injured?

Paranoid I could see appreciating the Hunted watching over him. He'd patch himself up tho, no one is getting near him while he's hurt, Hunted helps keep everyone else away though so it works.

[theladysherlock]

Hello everyone it's time for me to talk about Delit let's goooo

So I think something to know about me and shipping in general is that I only REALLY vibe with it when it's canon compliant/just barely canon divergent OR it's so not explored that I have free reign to do what I want. As much as I'm like "fuck canon do whatever you want" I definitely prefer things to feel within the realm of possibility. (Unless we're talking crossovers and crack ships and whatnot but I'm not usually into those for more than The Bit). I also hate when there's multi ship stuff that actively shits on the main love interest, or fucks with their characterization to turn them into a rival. So the thing that helps both of those things work for me is that at this point in the story, Alek is SO on board with the idea.

Not to make a WLW ship about a man but I think Alek's ability to step out of the picture romantically without it being a Whole Thing is what opens the door for me. If I'm reading Delit, I don't want to read about Alek getting his feelings hurt because he's not the main love interest anymore. That's not why I'm there, you know? (Plus if they do write him getting his feelings hurt, I know their characterization is off-- at this point he's not interested in Deryn romantically and is actively cheering them on in their dating endeavors).

Like I said earlier, the time skips do a lot of the heavy lifting for their relationship here, we don't get to see them getting closer so we can imagine whatever we want. But we already know Lilit likes Deryn. So why shouldn't Deryn like Lilit? They already said that she's really cool and interesting and talented and pretty. Plus the two of them have a lot in common, with the whole dead parents and also breaking societal norms thing. It's fun! It works! You don't even have to twist canon that much! You can still get the whole Clanker/Darwinist thing! And the whole "oh we can't be together" but doing it anyway thing! It's just fun. I like the two of them being clever and adventurous together.

Also I would be remiss if I didn't mention my dear mutual @thequeenpatches who was instrumental to my enjoyment of the ship from 2011-2017. She hasn't been online in YEARS but her writing is excellent, especially her Delit content. I hope she's doing well. Give her blog a look if you're interested in a time capsule of the leviathan fandom from the 2010s, or if you want some good fuckin food.

(Also also Alek/Deryn/Lilit is the first ship I ever went "they've got two hands" about, also due to thequeenpatches's influence. I just think they're neat!)

[annabtg]

I’m curious because I think you may have seen the same post I did when I was looking through the Lily Potter tag. So please don’t feel like you have to answer and I don’t want this to be upsetting. I think I’m looking for someone else to say it’s strange. what are your feelings towards the idea that Lily never really loved James in canon? Narratively, it doesn’t make sense to me, but I’ve seen it a couple of times - individuals suggesting that James was abusive and the relationship was not real. However, It just doesn’t fit the story to me.

I think I know which post you're referring to - I saw it but didn't read it. But I've read other posts in this vein in the past.

I will start by saying that I think this opinion can sort of stand, in - should I call it - an inventive sort of way. I mean, the general idea is that in the memories we see of James and Lily we always see them arguing (their first meeting, SWM), then we see them through Voldemort's eyes before their death which is when they're locked up and each other is all they have so whatever - they're making do, and then we see them together and showing tenderness in scenes like the Mirror of Erised and the Resurrection Stone, which contain heavy projection on Harry's part and are not necessarily true to their actual characters.

I could nitpick on all of that, on how Lily blushed at the very mention of James's name by Severus, on how their last moments together are obviously a lovely family moment etc. etc., but I won't. I will instead focus on their relationship as it permeates the books, and that's just my interpretation (I have always been a staunch supporter of all interpretations are valid as long as you can find in-text evidence for them, and these people *do* find it) but I also think it's what JKR set out to do, based on the whole concept of her novels.

I think James and Lily really, really loved each other.

They are structured and touted as the quintessential heroic couple from the very first chapter of the first book. A pair of young people, loved by everyone, their baby - the product of their love - managed to defeat the evil guy (with the power of love, exactly). Both Gryffindors, best students of their year - a great fit. Fell in love at school, Lily practically ditched her family to be with James.

The more the books progress, we have more evidence of this: Lily, take Harry and run - selfless love for his wife and son.

Then we see them in SWM, which doesn't look like their brightest moment, and it's not, but this is where I always put my foot down about this scene: It takes place in the mid-70s, and it carries all the hang-ups from that era. Levicorpus was not sexual assault in the mid-70s, it was a bit of a crude joke but boys will be boys. 15-year-old girls played hard to get and totally did not have a crush on the star jock of the school. Teasing each other was a legit form of flirting, and enemies to lovers is the oldest trope in the romance books. To extrapolate from that scene that they hate each other is, I think, to miss the point entirely, which is to make them more three-dimensional and not the caricatures of love and self-sacrifice they've been till now. But you don't have to give them so many dimensions they end up not even being in love at all :p That's sort of silly.

And the prophecy - a child born to parents who thrice defied Voldemort. You mean to tell me that two people go through this whole ordeal together and then have a kid, and that does NOT symbolize deep love between them? What the hell do they sit and fight Voldemort together for, then?

And then you have Snape's whole arc, his love for Lily, etc. etc.. Would there really be a point in this endless pining of his if Lily was miserable in her life - the life she chose, she was a Muggleborn and chose to stay in the magic world and fight alongside her husband - and wanted out? You might say that this still doesn't mean she'd mend bridges with her old friend, but again I direct you to - this story was written and structured with a purpose. A general sense of everything is for naught might be very realistic, but not likely in the realm of a story where the central theme is love triumphs over evil. Snape's redemption stems from the fact that he sacrifices himself for her even though she chose someone else, and the fact that she chose someone else is significant because he hates that she did, he hates Harry and how much he looks like his dad, and yet his love for Lily overcomes that. How much cheaper would it be if Lily didn't even love James anyway and the fact that Harry looks like him is just a stroke of bad luck? That's too nihilistic to be in a children's book.

I understand that we don't live in the 70s anymore, and in today's society we see 18-year-olds as kids who don't know what they want from life, and most people go through several relationships before settling down and the ones with their high-school sweethearts usually crash with a bang - but back then, it was the norm, if not the dream. Even if many of these relationships, by today's standards (or by any standards!) would be from mediocre to abusive, Jily is not written like that - it's written to represent the best part of this, the stories that my grandma would tell you about her and my grandpa, the boomers you see on Facebook telling you that they're celebrating their fiftieth anniversary and "back then when something didn't work we didn't throw it away, we fixed it".

Also? We do have the loveless relationship that resulted to a baby in canon. And that baby is Tom Marvolo Riddle. JKR is blunt like that. And I've seen it used to say she's drawing a parallel, but me? I think she's drawing the antithesis.

Conclusion: Jily as an example of a dysfunctional relationship might somehow work within canon (it helps that our canon is rather sparse), but for me it's contrary to the whole spirit of how it was written, to spirit of the books in general and to the authorial intent. I would consider it, frankly, a fascinating AU, but one I'm not particularly interested in. I see the dysfunctional relationships all the damn time irl. :p Jily the tragic figures, symbols of love and hope even in death, soulmates who created the saviour of the wizarding world, are much more fun to explore, as far as I'm concerned.

[soli-nepenthe]

More Caleb Thoughts (Spoilery):

I just want to preface these rambling thoughts by saying that I have not completed his Myth Story (trial) or Anecdotes yet, as I'm just taking my Caleb doses little by little. So there may be pieces of Caleb that are missing from my whole picture.

I've never viewed him as a romantic interest though I did feel sad when he died (MC handled that PTSD situation better than I ever could've with or without nightly calls to Rafayel on the nights she couldn't sleep, but I digress...) but I wanted to try and give him a fair shot as an LI instead, though I understand why for some that is not something they can or want to do. And that is perfectly fine.

......

Well, I've managed to work my way through his main branches, and while some parts made me want to back up (the extreme measures he takes to ensure MC's safety) the general tone was heavy and heartbreaking. Caleb is not a one-sided "yandere" (if that's what you want to label him as) and even that label narrows him down to an unfair caricature.

I'm not condoning his unhealthy behaviours (which are rooted from a good place, I want to believe) but because he is in the deepest shit situation-wise with Ever and Professor Lucius (and perhaps others we don't yet know about moving behind the scenes) his actions are a desperately painful way to keep the one person he's always loved from getting hurt.

From MC's perspective, there's a lot of pain, hurt, and Catholic guilt when confronting the Caleb in the present to the the boy from her past. He knows her intimately, her pet peeves and what buttons to push or not, in ways that the other LIs would envy. That means every wound or arrow they pierce each other with has the potential to be very devastating on a mental and emotional level. And because MC knows the past Caleb so well, there's that potential to enable behaviours (both sides) that aren't exactly healthy but realistic given how long they've known each other.

I also read his New Years story, but it felt like there was something I missed (maybe answered in his Myth or Anecdotes?) because it felt like some rough patches or misunderstandings had been addressed at some level. His biggest fears seem to be losing MC forever --physically and emotionally. He doesn't want to disappoint her or to have her hate him.

I would say that Caleb's story has another dimension of that Gothic Romance, like a revenant coming back from the dead and becoming something of an unrecognizable "monster" to the person he loves. I think the developers have successfully fleshed out a complex character different to the other guys, having borderline unhealthy coping mechanisms but struggling to pull back from crossing uncrossable lines. With Caleb being a pawn in an even bigger game means that his actions will always be tainted with what he morally knows is wrong versus his own will.

We will see if my impressions of him will change when I finish the parts I need to read in the present timeline (not sure if Anecdotes is set in the present or past) but Caleb has given me a lot to think about than I anticipated.

One other thing I don't know about, or if it has been mentioned, is his feelings or thoughts towards Josephine's involvement with Ever in those experiments. She worked with a team until such a point (the Chronorift Disaster/Explosion?) before turning on them. I mean, even Ever has labeled her as a 'traitor'. I can't see her as a sweet old grandma. So for me, it's just a bit jarring that Caleb and MC visited her "grave" and seemed genuinely sad about it. In my personal opinion, her adoption of these former 'test subjects' doesn't atone for what she did. If he knows and is keeping silent to not hurt MC's feelings, it is that much more painful for him to keep a lid on those feelings of anger and resentment...

I also thought that Zayne gave MC documents (I forget which chapter) that hint at or mention "Gran's" involvement? And even Sylus hinted to MC that the people closest to her were responsible for the explosion that day...

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts about Caleb. If I got anything wrong or if someone can clarify the Zayne point, that would be most appreciated.

EDIT: Just finished his myth story and yeah, it is HEAVY. Also, people always keep mentioning how Caleb is unhinged about MC, well, it goes both ways -- like willingly putting the Toring Chip in your own body knowing the consequences cannot be good, to try and understand/close the gap you feel between someone who has been a big part of your world since you were young? Yeah. MC is that wild. I was kind of taken out by that reckless move.

Anyway, Caleb is a man who is deeply and devotedly in love with MC, his anchor in the dystopian world that they live in (second Earth?) and like the hanged man in tarot, his options of living freely with MC are currently tied down by Lucius and Ever, the chip implanted in his body (and the 'old foxes' who have stakes at play with the Fountain of Atei/Fountain of Eternal Life??). He needs to be saved. And it's reasonable why MC doesn't want to lose him again, since he was and is still such an integral part of her life.

Loving and romancing Caleb will not be a path of flowers for MC, and there has to be room for healing the hurts on both sides as their relationship develops further.

I can only hope that groups like Onychinus (Sylus) continue to be a massive thorn in Ever's plans.

(Gonna leave it here, but Zedd's Clarity really encapsulates their dynamic perfectly.)

[cafesweetvn]

BEFORE YOU CONTINUE

Café Sweet contains sensitive topics such as, stalking, kidnapping, murdering, heavy manipulation, scary imagery(Blood, eyes, body horror), cannibalism, mentions of sa, police and swearing. DO NOT continue if these topics may trigger you.

Café Sweet is a visual novel where you work at a lovely café with your two coworkers that you've gotten extremely close to over these past few months. However, it seems you're cozy town has lost it's safety as there have been multiple disappearances, with only a few bodies being discovered dead.

FAQ

If I make "Café Sweet" content, can I tag you in it?- Yup! I would LOVE to be tagged in any fan content! It makes me so happy and overjoyed to see people making stuff for Café Sweet. I'm happy that others are interested in my stories and characters.

Are we allowed to send asks interacting with the Li's? - Yeah! I think it would also help me write the characters better for when I write their routes.

CHARACTERS

Artemis: Your extremely strict manager. Despite how he comes across he does care about you(as well as Sanka and Hyun-ae), truth be told he wants to protect you, from what, who knows(I do)? Will you take the time to get to know him?

Sanka: Your coworker! He's extremely extraverted and friendly to you and Hyun-ae, you three forming your own little trio. Sanka likes to look out for you and Hyun-ae, wanting to make sure you two get home safe, putting up a strong front. He loves being reliable <3

Hyun-ae: Your coworker! She's a lot more chill then Sanka. She would rather just follow whatever kind of mischief you and Sanka come up with and decide to do then decide to make any plans herself. She ADORES gossip and knowing everything ever. Despite her grunge appearance, she's a bit of a nerd!

Davi: A customer turned into a regular. Hyun-ae is convinced that Davi might have something to do with the disappearances, and even more so that he's been stalking you. Is he really creepy like Hyun-ae thinks he is?

Valeria: One of your childhood friends who moved away years ago. Thankfully, you two have always kept in touch with each other. It seems she's grown up to be an influencer. You wish to see her again in person, who knows, maybe she'll visit you soon~

Imani: Another one of your childhood friends! Thankfully, Imani never moved away and you two are still in contact. She's very shy and you're one of her only friends. She wishes to tell you how grateful she is to have you in her life still.

Fritz: Your final childhood friend! Works at a vet and adores animals, He's always so gentle and sweet towards animals and humans alike. They're so happy that you've stuck by their side after all these years and with the recent murders, they've been so worried about you and your mutual friends.

Archie: Your boss! You've never met him before, and it seems that neither Sanka nor Hyun-ae have either. Archie mainly leaves everything to Artemis while he goes out and does his own business. However, do NOT ask Artemis ANY question about Archie.

TAGS

#☕️-Cafe Sweet

#💌-fan content

#🔞-minors dni

#🎤-Asks

#👓-Artemis

#☀️-Sanka

#📱-Hyun-ae

#🛠️-Davi

#🪞-Valeria

#🍓-Imani

#🐈-Fritz

#💰-Archie

#🔪-Killer

DNI/RULES

Proshippers, bigots, generally creepy and shitty people don't interact with me or any of my games

Ageless in bio(either put your age/birthday in your bio, or you can send me a message telling me your age, if none of those I’ll block you)

That said I'll also be blocking blank tumblrs

I won’t be writing any gross out kink or anything like that.

If you’re a minor please don’t interact with my content that is 18+, especially since the base content won’t be 18+ so you can still get content.

Due to certain topics in this game, 16+ only

Please be patient with me, thank you!

I’m happy to take criticism on anything and will take it into consideration. What I won’t listen to is any hate comments without criticism, I’ll just block you.

If you're going to send in an NSFW ask, please turn off anon, otherwise I'm not gonna respond to it or I'll make it SFW, thank you!

RULE POST

More might be added/changed to most sections as I develop this blog

EXTRA LINKS/INFO

This is a side account so any other interaction will come from @starswirlfoxgames

I have a Twitter that will be STRICTLY 18+: https://twitter.com/Starsw1rlF0x

Ask box is always gonna be open unless I say otherwise so feel free to spam me with asks!

I'm probably not going to continue posting asks in order, just gonna post em when I finish them. Sorry if you asked me something and it's taking a while, I may be struggling with ideas or motivation.

I won't be having a schedule anymore to avoid burnout and stress. I also won't be using the queue feature anymore since I heard that it can delete posts.

I will try to post Dev logs weekly or every other week!

Masterlist 1

Asks: 0

[llorom4nn1c]

♡ My indirect opinions on different bands! ♡

I've seen people do this kind of thing on sites like Quora where they'll say their opinions on something and you have to guess what person they're talking about, so I thought I'd try it.

🎀 Band #1:

Best pop punk band ever. Not only do they have one of the best vocalists in the genre, but their music is so timeless. I've listened to my favourite song of theirs hundreds of times over the years and I still get excited every time it comes on. There's a reason why their music is still so critically acclaimed to this day.

🎀 Band #2:

I'm sorry but this band has some of the most delusional fans ever. You guys really interpret everything as a sign that they're recording music together. I know most of it is jokes but just because the bassist posts a photo of his bass, that doesn't mean the band is recording together. He could literally just be playing for fun. I mean I'm dying for new music from them too, but come on.

🎀 Band #3:

This is a soloist, but I still wanted to include her. This person's second album is her best one and is way underappreciated. One of her most popular songs is from this album, but I think there are songs on that album that are far better. The opening track is especially great and I wish she had more songs that were that heavy. I love her pop punk stuff, but I still wish she made more post-grunge albums.

🎀 Band #4:

I really wish this band got more attention. I feel like people used to talk about them a lot during like 2012-2014, but now they've been kind of forgotten. It's really a shame because I love their music. It makes me really sad that a lot of the female-fronted emo and scene bands besides Paramore have been almost forgotten.

🎀 Band #5:

I think this band is an example of a side project that's better than the band that it's derivative of. Their vocalist's original band is also good and I have a few songs from them that I really like, but with this band, I just think their music is a lot more enjoyable. Their first album is probably my favourite dance rock album and I'm really glad that they've reunited.

🎀 Band #6:

I wish other songs by this band were as popular as their biggest one. I understand why it's their biggest, because it is very good, but their other songs are great too and they're still making good stuff to this day.

🎀 Band #7:

I honestly think this person's music is really good and really didn't deserve all of the hate it got when it was released. Everyone said that she was ripping off Avril Lavigne, and while there are definite similarities between their music, I think her music is pretty solid. Her first album is especially good. All of the songs are really catchy and I would love to see more music from her.

🎀 Band #8:

This band is so over hated. People hate on their vocalist for things that he did when he was a teenager, which I always thought made no sense. A lot of people also seem to hate this band because their most recent albums have been generic pop albums, which also doesn't make sense to me. There are people doing way worse stuff, plus you could also just listen to something else. Like the way people talk about their music makes it sound like they're being forced to listen to it, when they're not.

🎀 Band #9:

I think I like this band more as people than actual musicians. I do like their music, but I don't think it's anything that special and I can kind of seen why some people call it generic. Their lead singer is one of the most genuine people I've seen in rock and I loved watching the band's Bryan Stars interviews when I was a new fan. I don't agree with people who say their music is bad (their first album is way over hated btw), but I can see why some people might not like their music that much.

🎀 Band #10:

I seriously do not understand how people listen to this band. I know a lot of people stopped listening to them after the allegations, but their lyrics are still so gross and icky. And the fact that there are people who still listen to this band and post stuff about their lead singer like 'They don't make guys like him anymore' is so gross because most of their lyrical content is about literal grooming and paedophilia. Also, there are most definitely still guys like him out there, the only difference is they aren't hiding behind a scene boy façade.

That's it, byeeeee!! ˚｡⋆୨୧˚♡