#i also did vandalize it at first because a) funny and b) I thought the wiki would just be removed or cleared but it wont

[st4rstudent]

I think almost everyone's aware now but for anyone who isn't; TTCC has moved wikis.

The new wiki (please do use it) is Here !

There is also an extension to help remove fandom wikis from search results which is linked Here! There is also another extension Here that links to other independent wikis.

You can also find the reddit post about the move Here.

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: William Quigley The Great

“Good luck. God Bless. And may we all get back together soon in love, life, happiness, and laughter.” - Reverend Dick

As Andy Dick spoke those beautiful words from his bathtub, I felt a warm sense of grace wash over me. Kermit and Friends is here to entertain and help people. That could not have been more clear on this week’s fantastic Church Service.

After opening the show with her usual homage to Kermit, Elisa brought up Sugar and they both expressed their nervousness over the big stars that were attending church this week.

Andy Dick, the new Reverend of the Kermitarian Church, blessed us with his presence while he was taking a bath. Unfortunately, due to an old phone and lack of internet in his apartment, Andy had some technical issues throughout the show. However, Elisa is determined to help him. Right now the goal is to get Andy an IPad. If you would like to contribute to that happening, you can Venmo Andy at @Andy-Dick-2.

Elisa next played a preview of the upcoming Monday’s Dr. Phil episode, which featured none other than Kermit and Friends superstars Johnny B and his daughter Laurie. Johnny’s hoarding issues was the main cause for them being invited on Dr. Phil. Johnny and Laurie spoke of their experience on the show and told us what we could expect.

Once she saw how messy the Boulton household is, Elisa came up with an idea where she will buy a Kermit and Friends mansion for herself, Andy, the Boultons, etc. all to move into. This would undoubtedly solve everyone’s problems... I, for one, dig the idea!

Joe Escalante was one of KAF’s big guests this week. Elisa says this guy is successful at everything he’s ever been a part of, and one look at his Wikipedia page will tell you she’s not exaggerating. Joe Escalante first came to prominence as the bassist for the punk rock band The Vandals, and then went on to do very well with his own record company, acting, producing TV shows, hosting his own radio show, etc.

You could tell Elisa was inspired by this guy and rightfully so. They discussed many of his projects and how Joe was able to achieve so much in his professional life. It was pretty informative stuff and I hope people can learn from it that all it takes is one good idea, hard work, and maybe a little luck (or prayer, whichever you want to believe in) for you to become a huge success in the field of your choosing.

The other big guest of the show was Charlie Schmidt, who famously created a viral video of his cat playing the keyboard, which has garnered over 60 million views on Youtube. It’s extremely impressive how Chuck was able to turn one viral video into a lucrative business. Elisa talked to him about that and his pets, and it was just great to see two guys featured who prove that anyone at anytime can become a massive success story. If that doesn’t fuel you with motivation, then nothing will.

However, with all due respect to those guys and to Andy Dick, the star of this week’s show was the great William Quigley, which oddly enough was the title of the episode. Boy, did he live up to that title!

It didn’t seem like Quig’s appearance would go well at first because his audio was atrocious during the first 45 minutes of the show. We haven’t seen Elisa get that frustrated with someone since the original Kermit and Friends days. It was hilarious!

But the comedy really started when Quigley managed to fix his audio. He and Elisa went at it back-and-forth. One minute, Quig loves Elisa, the next he’s telling her how awful she is, and so on and so forth. It was like that nearly the entire time they talked. Very manic, quite the spectacle.

Elisa played some hysterical clips from phone calls she had with Quigley throughout the week. You could tell Quig was not happy with how last week’s show went. He thought Elisa kissed Andy’s ass too much, that Quig was the one who deserved to have his ass kissed, etc.

It’s easy to tell that Quig has a big time crush on Elisa, and that his anger stems from jealously when Elisa gives another man her attention. This felt like a Benjy/Gonzo scenario from the original KAF, except with way more eccentric characters, Andy and Quig are actually friends, and Elisa isn’t having sex with either of them for now... these differences actually make this love saga that much more entertaining, outlandish, and funny.

Speaking of Gonzo, he made numerous amusing calls this week while impersonating the likes Robert Downey Jr., Banksy, the Mayor of Montauk, the Governor of Colorado, etc. I noticed in chat that Gonzo was sour on Quigley in the beginning but grew to love him by the end of the show. I think everyone realized just how golden William Quigley is in this episode, something Elisa knew long beforehand.

Other fascinating things we learned on this week’s show: Elisa is still in love with Gonzo but would also be willing to marry Andy Dick, Adrienne has become the official model for the Kermit and Friends lingerie fashion line (buy your own here), TallDarkAndAHandful has renamed himself Superslut to gain Supertramp’s affection, and Johnny B can sing an awesome rendition of The Old Rugged Cross.

Kermit and Friends Church Service is up to 12 episodes now, so this is my 12th review, and this is the first time I’ve felt like my review doesn’t give any justice to how great the show was this week. So please, just watch it if you haven’t already. And keep watching every Sunday so you can be entertained, helped, inspired, and witness this wonderful show blow up into something huge like it deserves.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Thirty-Two: Needful Things

“Why is it that so many people think all the answers are in their wallets?”

When I started this blog, it was kind of funny how life events were lining up with the books I was reading. I finished The Stand just as we were starting to learn about Coronavirus. I read Misery while we were all stuck in quarantine. And this weekend I finished Needful Things just as riots were starting to break out all over the country. 

I’m not egotistical enough to think my reading of these books is bringing them to life, but I’m also kind of terrified to crack into The Dome... just sayin. And I guess we did avoid murderous clown shenanigans with It, so maybe it’s just a freaky coincidence. But I might skip Sleeping Beauties just to be safe. 

I might have discovered my new favorite Steve book. This was my first time reading Needful Things, and the story captured me in a way I wasn’t expecting. I was immediately reminded of Something Wicked This Way Comes; which my husband admitted to never having read/watched the movie, which is a real tragedy. But the book truly feels like one big piece of Bradbury fan fiction. And I’m not at all mad about that. 

Before cracking into Needful Things, I recommend going back and reading Sun Dog, the last novella in Four Past Midnight. Sun Dog brings us back to Castle Rock, Maine, and introduces the characters we explore further in Needful Things. Reading it isn’t mandatory, but it does make for a richer experience. In the introduction to Sun Dog, King explains Needful Things is the last book he’s going to set in Castle Rock (lies). For those keeping count, we’ve got Cujo, The Dead Zone, The Dark Half, and The Body (Stand By Me). All these stories are referenced in Needful Things, and we even find out what happened to our friend Thad Beaumont from The Dark Half. Spoiler: it’s not great.

 “By virtue of Thad’s drunken phonecalls, Alan had become an unwilling witness to the crash of Thad’s marriage and the steady erosion of the man’s sanity.”

Additionally, Thad’s wife Liz took the twins and deuced out. I mean... not surprising. I don’t know how one recovers from being stalked by their alter-ego, and having their house busted into by a bunch of sparrows. In case you need a reminder about all the shenanigans and bad luck Castle Rock has endured, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version:

Before I get into the plot of the story, I’m going to issue a Trigger Warning. Needful Things does deal with the suicide of a young boy, as well as the murder of two seperate animals.

Needful Things is a quaint little shop which just opened up in downtown Castle Rock, and it promises oddities and strange little finds. The proprietor of the shop is Leland Gaunt, and he seems to have something for everyone. Everything from aviator sunglasses worn by Elvis, to autographed Sandy Koufax baseball cards, to a splinter believed to have come off Noah’s Ark, to a necklace believed to cure arthritis. Every little oddity in the shop is wildly affordable, but comes with a few strings attached. Gaunt asks a favor, or a “prank” of each patron that comes into the shop. 

Slowly but surely, he’s got the entire town feuding. It starts with two old women dueling on a street corner, because one believes the other killed her dog, and the other believes she threw mud on her clean laundry and broke her windows. Gaunt plays on the already growing tensions in town: the Catholic church wanting to have a casino night fundraiser, and the Baptists who are fiercely opposed to the idea. The embezzling city official who parks in the handicapped spot, and the deputy who is pressured by his boss to give him a ticket for it. Before long, these “pranks” and “favors” are adding up, and the town is thrown into a state of chaos. Meanwhile, Leland Gaunt just sits back and smiles. 

It falls to Sheriff Alan Pangborn to try and figure out what’s going on in town, and how the riots started. He visits little Sean Rusk in the hospital, who witnessed his older brother Brian commit suicide. Brian had stopped into Needful Things and left with an autographed and personalized Sandy Koufax card, which of course came with a few small strings attached. Brian ends up committing a few acts of vandalism that led to the old lady duel. The guilt eats him alive, and he shoots himself. Sean tells Sheriff Pangborn Brian was acting strange lately, he had caught him mooning over a random, ratty baseball card. NOT the autographed, personalized Sandy Koufax card Brian thought it was... Because, dark magic. 

So, Alan starts to get an idea of who is behind the madness plaguing Castle Rock. As his city is looting, rioting and falling down around him, he goes to confront Gaunt with prank snakes in a can. You know... a real prank... not like killing someone’s dog, or ruining their laundry. The snakes take on some kind of magical power, and send Gaunt on his way to Iowa. I speak for all midwestern folk when I say, “God speed to Iowa, Gaunt. That state could use some livening up...” 

The book was fantastic; there were so many threads that came together at the end, it was masterful. And I speak for everyone who has bought crazy, random shit off the internet during quarantine... at least my Keds/truffle infused hot sauce/Christian McCaffrey jersey/protein powder/2 liter water bottle didn’t come with any strings attached. Just sayin. 

There were two Dark Tower references... at two different points in the book, Steve referred to people battling as, “gunslingers”. No Wisconsin references, and I’m kinda glad. The last thing we need is some Leland Gaunt up in our already messed up state. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 25

Total Dark Tower References: 25

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Needful Things: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

I hope everyone stays safe amid the riots and protests, and the ever-looming threat of Coronavirus. I’m one hundred pages into The Wastelands, and it’s the ultimate escape reading for me. Walking into Roland’s ka-tet is like coming back to see old friends. Lovely.

Until next time, long days & pleasant nights,

Rebecca

[zen3to5]

J/H 3-20: Fez Dates Donna

You'll notice that the "B" plot of Kelso and Jackie as friends was cut from "Kitty's Birthday." That's an important step for both characters, even with Jackie/Hyde running through this version of the season. So you can find it as the "B" story here - with a significant role for Hyde to play...

(We're also assuming that changes to production order continue, with "Holy Craps!" becoming 3-19 without any other changes, and this episode following after.)

FF.Net AO3

---

SHOW TITLE   MUSIC NOTE: “So Very Hard to Go” by Tower of Power.   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   The gang laze around. “So Very Hard to Go” plays on the radio. HYDE sits in his chair, reading a newspaper. ERIC and KELSO stand behind the couch, tossing a small ball back and forth. DONNA and JACKIE sit on the couch. Jackie has her coat on and her bag over her shoulder.   JACKIE: Hey, Donna, wanna go to the mall? Rerun from What’s Happening!! is opening up the new Dairy Queen.   DONNA: Actually, Jackie, as fun as that sounds... um, no.   She picks up a magazine from the coffee table and dives into it.   Kelso, who has the ball, whips his head around. He tosses the ball back toward Hyde’s room (where it makes a loud crash) and jumps over the couch to sit on Jackie’s left.   KELSO: (to Jackie) What? “Hey hey hey!” I’m in.   Jackie thinks for a second, then nods.   JACKIE: Okay. Just give me one second.   She stands and heads up the stairs. Kelso leans back and spreads his arms out over the back of the couch.   Donna looks up from the magazine.   DONNA: (to Kelso) So you two are finally getting along?   KELSO: Yep. It’s this new thing we’re trying. We’re friends.   Donna smiles and turns back to her magazine.   KELSO (cont’d): Yeah. See, that’s Phase One.   Donna puts the magazine down, Hyde snaps his newspaper down, and Eric sits on the back of the couch behind Donna.   DONNA: Oh, God.   Kelso turns towards his friends, a big grin on his face.   KELSO: See, I did some reflecting, and I realized that Jackie is the only girl I wanna be with.   ERIC: (beat) Today?   KELSO: No, every day. See, we were meant to be together. She just doesn’t know it yet. So the plan is - see, she wants to be just friends, right? Okay, so I’ll be her friend. But what she doesn’t realize is that I’m also a boy. Yeah, and sooner or later, “friend” is gonna lead down the path to “boy.” And then I’ll be her friend-boy.   The others just stare, dumbfounded by dumb. Eric finally manages to nod.   ERIC: (flat) Kelso, this may be your greatest plan ever.   Oblivious to tone, Kelso nods like a spastic child.   Jackie comes back down the stairs and nabs her beret from on top of the speakers.   JACKIE: Okay, I’m ready.   KELSO: Let’s go, friend.   They head out the door.   HYDE: That is his worst plan ever.   He puts his newspaper back up. Eric and Donna share a knowing look.   DONNA: (to Hyde) Yeah, it’s only good when you do it, right?   HYDE: (beat) Excuse me?   DONNA: Come on, Hyde. Just drop the act. (doing Hyde) “Fine, Jackie, I’ll give you a ride. Okay, Jackie, I’ll teach you to play chess.”   ERIC: (doing Hyde) “Whatever, Jackie, I’ll show you the basics of vandalism and larceny.”   They laugh. Hyde crumples his newspaper and chucks it at Eric, then turns toward the TV, arms crossed tight.   DONNA: Face it, Hyde: ever since that one date with Jackie, you’ve been doing whatever you can to spend time with her. You’re just like Kelso.   ERIC: Not quite, Donna. See -   He adopts a pose of mock-thought.   ERIC (cont’d): With Kelso, it’s like Jackie has a stupid horndog puppy that will do anything she says but sometimes needs a time-out for humping someone’s leg. But with Hyde, I’m thinking more of a scrappy, angry guard dog who won’t let you pet him because, you know, he was abandoned, but deep down is really just desperate for one person – just one person – to protect, love, and be loved in return.   He and Donna both make long puppy-dog faces at Hyde, even with his back half-turned. He takes a deep breath, then launches himself at Eric. They fall back behind the couch, fighting, as Donna cracks up.   BUMPER   INT. HUB - DAY   FEZ sits at the wall table, slurping happily at a soda while he does homework.   The bathroom door swings open, and CAROLINE is there, with a less-than-cheering smile.   CAROLINE: Hi, Fez!   Fez screams and moves as far down as the booth seat will allow.   FEZ: Caroline! What are you doing?   Caroline strolls out to stand over Fez.   CAROLINE: I knew you’d be in here. I’ve been watching you.   FEZ: Caroline, you have to leave me alone.   CAROLINE: (stomps foot) But I wanna be with you!   FEZ: But I told you, we’re through because I am with Donna. Yes? Remember Donna?   CAROLINE: Well, you better be, because if you’re not, that means you still love me. And if you still love me, but you’re not with me, I’ll find out, and I’ll make you pay.   FEZ: (scoffs) Well, that would only be scary if I was lying about Donna and me.   He giggles nervously, slowly trailing off under the pressure of Caroline’s dagger eyes.

MAIN CREDITS   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   Eric is alone on the couch, going over homework spread out over the coffee table. Fez bursts in through the basement door and hurries to Eric’s side.   FEZ: Oh, Eric! I’m so afraid. When I broke up with crazy Caroline, I told her I was dating Donna. But I’m not dating Donna, you are dating Donna. (beat) Could I borrow Donna?   Eric sets his pencil down and considers things for a minute.   ERIC: (shrugs) Sure.   He goes right back to his homework as Fez sighs with relief and pats Eric on the shoulder.   CUT TO:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   A pleasant enough afternoon. BOB is bent over, using a measuring tape on the pavement near the hedges. RED walks up behind him.   RED: Need something, Bob?   Bob snaps the tape shut and stands.   BOB: Well, it’s a funny thing. The wife and I, we’re taking out a second mortgage on the house. Well, that’s not the funny part ‘cause we’re pretty much destitute.   RED: (beat) It’s a little bit funny, Bob.   BOB: Anyways, I’m looking at the deed to the property. And the map shows that I own a couple feet of your driveway and a little bit of your garage.   RED: (beat) How’d you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?   BOB: (beat) I wouldn’t, to be quite honest.   RED: It’s free.   They stand there, halfway between amicable and hostile.   CUT TO:   INT. MALL – DAY   It’s not the Kenosha outlet, but it’s all Point Place has. A few shoppers walk the floor as Jackie and Kelso admire some well-dressed mannequins in a store window. Kelso points to one in particular.   KELSO: See, the boatneck adds dimension to your shoulders, and the plum color, that really accents your jewel-toned eyes.   Jackie gapes at him, impressed.   JACKIE: Oh, my God. Michael, you just selected my perfect outfit. You are so good at this!   KELSO: Yeah, I have a knack for ensembles.   They both take in the mannequin some more, beaming.   JACKIE: You know, Michael, I’m really enjoying our new friendship together.   KELSO: Really? Me, too.   JACKIE: Yeah, you know, the makeup, shopping, braiding each other’s hair... you are like the perfect girlfriend.   KELSO: Well, thanks, Jackie. (beat) Wait... girlfriend?   JACKIE: Yeah. I mean, Donna’s nice and everything, but she kind of dresses like a trucker.   She adjusts her bag and heads inside the store. Kelso just stands by the window, pouting. He scratches behind his ear in a rather dog-like manner.   Jackie sticks her head out of the entrance.   JACKIE (cont’d): Michael?   With a jump and a little half-yip, Kelso follows her inside.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   Closer to evening than afternoon. Donna and Eric sit on one end of the couch, Eric’s arm behind her, while Fez stands by the other end.   FEZ: Donna, I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to help me with Caroline.   DONNA: Hey, anything for a friend. But if she tries to hurt me, I’m using you as a shield.   FEZ: Likewise.   ERIC: (to Donna) Hey, I just thought of something: if you’re gonna be with Fez, I’ll be back to living the single life.   DONNA: Oh, now you won’t get to take me to see The Turning Point.   ERIC: (mocking) The ballerina movie? Oh, no.   Donna shakes her head, taking his sarcasm in stride.   BUMPER   INT. HUB – NIGHT   Teens chilling out at the tables, plenty of witnesses – it’s show time for Fez and Donna. They stand near the juke box, Donna relaxed and Fez not quite so.   FEZ: So, our first date. I guess we’re officially a couple now. A couple of knuckleheads, huh? (laughs) Oh, I make me laugh.   Donna humors him with a silent laugh herself.   Caroline enters and stakes out a position just a few feet back from Fez and Donna. Her eyes are squarely fixed on them.   DONNA: (whispers) Oh, there she is.   FEZ: (whispers) Okay. Show time.   He feeds a quarter into the juke box. “I Only Want To Be With You” as covered by the Bay City Rollers kicks on, and Fez and Donna begin to dance, to Caroline’s disgust. We begin a:   MONTAGE. SET TO THE SONG. The entire date, condensed.   A) Fez and Donna share a soda with twirly straws while Caroline pouts behind them.   SONG (v.o.): I don’t know what it is that makes me love you so I only know I never want to let you go...   B) They arm wrestle, which Donna wins (Fez turns away to hide the pain in his wrist).   SONG (v.o.): ‘Cause you started something. Can’t you see That ever since we met, you’ve had a hold on me...   C) They share a basket of fries, bumping hands as they both reach in, feeding each other, and chowing down on an extra-long one to meet in the middle for a kiss, even as Caroline’s suspicious face pops up between them.   SONG (v.o.): It happens to be true I only wanna be with you   It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do I want to spend each moment of the day with you Look what has happened with just one kiss I never knew I could be in love like this...   The montage ends back at the dancing. Fez gets Donna into a dip.   SONG (v.o.): It’s crazy, but it’s true I only want to be with you   You stopped and smiled at me -   The others in the Hub applaud, but Caroline yanks the juke box’s chord and stomps outside. Recovering, Fez and Donna trade high-fives. Once again, Fez turns away to hide his limp wrist.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT   Eric living the single life. He may be enjoying it, but it’s not a pretty sight: chip bags and a pizza box littering the coffee table, and Eric in just a T-shirt and boxers.   ERIC: (stretching) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, should I watch a ballerina movie or Get Smart? (snaps fingers) Get Smart it is. That’s right, I said Get Smart.   He gets up and flips on the TV. On his way back to the couch, he takes the last slice of pizza from the box.   ERIC (cont’d): I’m sorry, Donna? Did you want the last piece? Well, it’s too late. That’s right, I said “too late.” Yeah, just me in my natural state here, baby. I’m dirty, I’m lazy, and I don’t wear pants.   He laughs, munches away at the pizza. His expression shifts; we don’t need the noise to know what he just did.   ERIC (cont’d): Yeah, that was me. That’s right, that was me.   He finishes off the pizza and sinks even deeper into the couch.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN GARAGE - DAY   The next morning. Bob is at Red’s worktable, clearing space. He’s already made quite a pile on the ground behind him.   Red and KITTY march over to Bob.   RED: Bob, that’s my stuff! You put the hell back my stuff!   BOB: Sorry, Red. It was in my part of the garage.   He keeps clearing off the table.   KITTY: (to Bob) What are you talking about? (to Red) What is he talking about?   RED: Kitty – Kitty, let me talk to him. (to Bob) Bob, get the hell out of my garage!   BOB: Fine.   He takes one exaggerated step back toward the table, grinning.   BOB (cont’d): There ya go.   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   Much later in the day. Eric shuffles cards in the lawn chair, Hyde reads a magazine in his chair, and Jackie sits at the couch, homework spread out over the coffee table.   JACKIE: You know, Mr. Winslow’s class isn’t nearly as tough as Donna made it sound. He’s the first English teacher since sixth grade to let me do a book report on Nancy Drew.   Hyde looks up, disgusted.   JACKIE (cont’d): Now, I just have to decide between The Sky Phantom or The Strange Message in the Parchment.   HYDE: Oh, how about The Mindless Cookie-Cutter Dreck?   He blows a raspberry. Jackie scowls at him.   JACKIE: Whatever. It got Mr. Winslow’s “okay.”   HYDE: Jackie, we call Mr. Winslow “Mr. Wino.” That whole assignment is crap, but if you’re gonna do it, you could at least read something that makes you think.   JACKIE:  Oh, thinking’s your answer to everything!   She folds her arms and pouts.   HYDE:  Come on, man. There’s so much out there. Fear and Loathing, The Drifters, In Watermelon Sugar...   The last title catches Jackie’s interest.   JACKIE: Is that last one a cookbook? Because I do love sweetened watermelon.   Hyde gives her a long look, then tosses his magazine aside and stands.   HYDE: That’s it. Get your coat.   He starts walking toward the door. Confused, Jackie hurries after, nabbing her coat from the back of the couch.   JACKIE: Where’re we going?   HYDE: The library.   JACKIE: (scoffs) Oh, come on. Steven, it’s past seven. The library’s closed by now.   HYDE: You got a bobby pin?   Jackie’s hand goes to her hair.   JACKIE: Yeah...   HYDE: Then it ain’t gonna be closed for long.   He opens the door, letting a still-confused Jackie exit first. Eric looks over his shoulder at Hyde and grins.   ERIC: (as if to a dog) Aww... such a good guard dog. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Yes he is, isn’t he?   Hyde lunges, frogs Eric in the arm, and leaves.   Once the door is closed, Eric gets to his feet and starts undoing his belt.   ERIC: Thank God. I thought they’d never leave.   He manages to get one-and-half pants legs free when Donna comes in through the door. Without even looking up, Eric pulls his pants back up and sits on the couch.   DONNA: No, no. Don’t get all gussied up for me. I just came by to make sure you’re okay. You know, not too lonely without me.   ERIC: What, are you kidding me? I’m having a great time! I – I feel like I’ve really learned a lot about Eric.   Donna sits next to him.   DONNA: Oh. Well, I’m glad you’re having fun.   ERIC: Oh, but, what about you? Pretending to be Fez’s girlfriend has to be kind of a drag, right?   DONNA: No! Fez is great. Last night he took me to play putt-putt, and tonight he’s taking me on a hayride. Fez is so charming. You know, I can see why Caroline’s stalking him.   ERIC: (beat) You know, I would’ve taken you on a hayride –   DONNA: Eric – the important this is that you’re having a great time, and I’m having a great time. So have a great time.   ERIC: No, you have a great time.   DONNA: Oh, I will.   She rises and leaves.   ERIC: Well, I will too!   Eric jumps up, fully takes off his pants, and stands tall in the Superman pose.   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   Early morning, before school. Eric, still without pants, lies across the couch, magazines and junk food bags littered around him. Fez sits in the lawn chair, contented.   FEZ: Eric, I cannot thank you enough for lending me your girlfriend. It feels so good to be in a normal, healthy relationship.   ERIC: Fez, it’s a fake, pretend relationship.   FEZ: You say “tomato,” I say “tomato.”   He’s missed the point of the phrase; the pronunciations are the same.   ERIC: Fez, “to-mah-to.”   FEZ: What?   ERIC: You say “to-mah-to.”   FEZ: Why would I say “to-mah-to?” That’s not even a word, dummy.   ERIC: (beat) Yeah, I’m sorry.   FEZ: It’s okay, Eric. Different strokes for different strokes.   Eric considers, but lets that one go.   ERIC: Right.   FEZ: All I know is, if I was married to a woman like Donna it would be heavens. Oh, the hijinks we would get into.   He smiles, shakes his head, and looks up. We cut to:   INT. FORMAN LIVING ROOM – DAY   FANTASY SEQUENCE. BLACK AND WHITE. The heart from I LOVE LUCY covers the screen, then fades away. Fez, as Ricky, strolls in through the front door and slips his jacket off.   FEZ:  Lucy, I’m home!   DONNA (v.o.): Ricky, is that you?   Donna, as Lucy, staggers in from the kitchen, grimacing. The whole front of her dress and apron is covered in molasses. Fez lets out the Ricky laugh.   FEZ: Lucy, what happened to you?   DONNA: Oh, Ricky, I was making molasses cookies for your band and I had an accident!   She cries and Fez laughs.   FEZ: Oh, Lucy.   He gives her a big hug. When he tries to let go, however, he can’t.   FEZ (cont’d): Uh-oh.   DONNA: Ricky – we’re stuck!   The doorbell rings.   FEZ: I’ll get it.   He tries to get free again, but they’re good and stuck. He waddles toward the door, pulling Donna with him, muttering in Spanish all the while. After hopping up the steps, he manages to get the door.   In step Red and Kitty as Fred and Ethel. Kitty has a large bowl of flower in her hands.   RED: Hi, neighbors!   KITTY: Lucy, I brought you that flour for your cookies.   DONNA: Oh, Ethel, you’re a pal.   Red and Kitty take notice of the position Fez and Donna are in.   KITTY: Gee, Fred, would it hurt you to hug me like that?   RED: Well, probably not, but why take the chance?   FEZ: Hey, Fred, we got a sticky situation here. You wanna help us out?   RED: Sure, Rick.   He gets his arms between them as well as he can and starts to push them apart. The effort starts spinning all three of them around the room.   DONNA: Watch it, Fred!   RED: Boy, you kids really are stuck!   As he says this, his efforts pay off. Fez and Donna split apart, and Donna spins around until she lands face-first into Kitty’s bowl of flour. She lifts her head up, her face caked in white, and lets out the Lucy whine as the fantasy fades out.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   Back to the present. Fez chuckles at the scene he’s just imagined.   FEZ: Oh, Lucy.   He hops to his feet.   FEZ (cont’d): (to Eric) Well, I’m off to romance our lady.   He heads for the door. Eric sits up.   ERIC: Oh – hey, Fez? Donna hasn’t been – I don’t know – like, mentioning me or anything?   FEZ: No.   He exits.   ERIC: Well, that’s – that’s okay. That’s good, ‘cause I haven’t been talking about her either. Of course, I’ve been alone, so I’d just be talking to myself. And that’s not normal. Have to be pretty crazy to talk to myself, wouldn’t I? Yes, I would. (beat) Okay, I gotta get some pants.   BUMPER   EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY   School has just let out, and kids are heading to their cars or lingering in the lot. Jackie and Kelso lean against the El Camino, looking appraisingly at a BUXOM BLONDE in a tight sweater nearby.   JACKIE: God, would you look at her boobs?   KELSO: (scoffs) I am. And it’s – it’s disgusting. I mean, what is she thinking, packing in those sweet melons like that? I can’t even look away.   Jackie looks up at Kelso and smiles.   JACKIE: See, Michael? This is the kind of thing that a girl needs her girlfriend for.   Kelso gets a very fixed smile himself.   The blonde waves to Jackie, and she walks over to talk with her. Once Jackie is gone, Kelso’s face slips into a pout, and he balls up his fists and stomps his foot as Hyde comes up by his side.   KELSO: (to Hyde) Man, what the heck makes Jackie think I’m her girlfriend? All I’ve done was pick out a few of her outfits, paint her nails, give her a facial, and talk with her about other chicks’ jugs.   HYDE: Gee, I don’t know, Denise.   KELSO: Man, it’s not fair! I mean, she hangs out with you a bunch and she doesn’t call you her girlfriend. (beat) Wait... wait, are you – man, you said there was nothing going on between you two! But you keep taking her places and teaching her stuff – you stole my plan, didn’t you?   Hyde gives Kelso a long look.   HYDE: Kelso, as your friend – hand on heart, swear to God – I have never even been tempted to steal one of your plans.   Kelso’s face scrunches up, trying to figure out if that comes to a burn.   Jackie crosses back to the boys and pokes Hyde in the chest.   JACKIE: Hey, you. So it turns out “Mr. Wino” wasn’t happy about me changing books for my report. I already lost one grade point. The police went by the library today. And In Watermelon Sugar is giving me a splitting headache.   KELSO: (to Jackie) Pfft, books. What good are they? I mean, who needs to read when you’re totally hot?   JACKIE: (to Kelso) That’s true... (to Hyde) But, I have to admit – I don’t understand it, but I think I’m enjoying thinking about it.   Hyde gives her the smallest of approving smiles, and she smiles back. Kelso looks nervously back and forth between them.   Caroline stomps up behind the three of them, unseen.   CAROLINE: HEY!   They all jump. Jackie screams. Kelso lets out a high, puppy-like cry, rolls over the hood of the El Camino, and disappears underneath it.   Caroline advances on Jackie, her nails held up and her eyes bugging out.   CAROLINE (cont’d): Where is she? Where is that big, dumb, red, moose friend of yours with my Fez? WHERE?   She grabs at Jackie. Hyde gets between them, and Jackie holds onto the back of his jacket.   HYDE: (gruff, growling) Hey, can it, Carrie! They’re going to a movie and they left already. Now go on! Scram! Get!   With each shout he advances, and his voice becomes more of a bark. Caroline retreats, though she never stops glaring at Hyde.   Kelso gets up from under the car. A dark, oily streak runs down his face, shirt, and jacket.   HYDE (cont’d): Well, looks like I’ve got an oil leak. (to Jackie) You think you and Denise here can find another ride home?   Kelso makes a whimpering puppy-dog face before stomping his way back into school, wiping at his face and shirt. Jackie and Hyde share a commiserating look.   BUMPER   INT. PINCIOTTI KITCHEN - DAY   Bob and MIDGE sit at the table, preparing an afternoon snack of coffee, toast, and jam. Their kitchen door flies open, and in march a peeved Kitty and Red.   KITTY: All right, hand over my preserves. They were in our garage, and now they’re not.   MIDGE: Oh, that’s terrible, Kitty. Why don’t you sit down and relax with some toast and homemade jam? We found it in our garage.   KITTY: Jam?   MIDGE: Yeah. We found it in our garage.   RED: It’s our garage!   KITTY: And that’s my jam!   Midge is spreading jam over a piece of toast. Just as she’s about to take a bite, Kitty takes the toast, smears it across the lip of the jam jar, and hands it back to Midge.   KITTY (cont’d): Bon appétit!   Bob stands.

  BOB: You know, you two just don’t get it, do you? That jam was on my property. I’ll show you the deed.   He reaches into a drawer in the island and pulls out a MAP. He opens it up and slaps at a given point.   BOB (cont’d): There’s my lot... there’s yours... there’s the property line, right there.   Red studies the map and rolls his eyes. With just a bit of flair, he takes the map from Bob and turns it right-side up.   BOB (cont’d): (beat) Oops.   RED: Well, looks like I own part of your property.   BOB: (beat) I, uh... I will not stand for this trickery! You get out of my house.   RED: No problem.   Red takes one exaggerated step toward the kitchen door, stops, and grins.   CUT TO:   INT. THEATER - NIGHT   A thin crowd out to see THE TURNING POINT. Fez waits alone in a middle seat in the middle row. Donna comes in on his right.   DONNA: Okay, no one answered the phone at Eric’s house. What could he be doing? Where could he go with no pants?   FEZ: Donna, when we’re in public, you are with me. Eric is dead to you.   In the row behind them, Caroline makes her way toward the middle seats.   CAROLINE: (to one patron) Pardon me. (to another) MOVE IT!   She finally manages to claim a seat right behind Fez and Donna.   FEZ: (to Donna) Oh, boy. Here comes trouble. (to Caroline) Caroline. (laughs) I was just, um, offering my girlfriend Donna a sip from my straw. We don’t care about germs, because she has had her tongue in my mouth.   Neither girl looks charmed by that, but when Fez offers Donna a drink, she takes one.   CAROLINE: You know what I think? I think this is all an act. I don’t think you’re really dating.   FEZ: (beat) Well, maybe... maybe this will convince you.   He throws himself at Donna and starts to make out.   FEZ (cont’d): (whispering) Come on, Donna, put some leg into it!   Instead, Donna shoves him back into his seat.   CAROLINE: Give me a break. If you were really together, you’d have at least gotten to second base by now.   FEZ: You know, when you are right, you are right.   He reaches for Donna’s chest, but she slaps his hand down – hard. Donna turns back toward Caroline.   DONNA: All right, all right – enough. Caroline, Fez doesn’t like you.   CAROLINE: (beat) Is that true, Fez?   FEZ: (wincing) Yes?   CAROLINE: Wow. I guess we really are over. (beat) Okay! Enjoy your movie.   All sunshine, Caroline gets up and heads back down the row. On her way out, she steps on one PATRON’s foot, a patron in a sweatshirt with a hand over his face.   PATRON: Ow.   CAROLINE: Sorry.   PATRON: It’s okay.   The patron looks up; it’s Eric.   CAROLINE: Hey, Eric! Lookin’ good. Call me.   She clicks her tongue and exits.   Donna and Fez take notice of Eric, turn back to face him.   DONNA: Eric, what are you doing here?   Eric points at the screen.   ERIC: Are you kidding me? It’s The Turning Point! I love ballet movies. They make you think, you know? How did their feet get so pointy? That’s a mystery I’m determined to solve.   Donna smiles at him and shakes her head.   ERIC (cont’d):  What?   DONNA: You miss me.   ERIC: Well, you missed me.   DONNA: I really did.   They smile at one another. Eric steps over the seats, sits next to Donna, and they begin to kiss.   Fez, looking on, reclaims attention with a wave.   FEZ: (to Eric) Excuse me. Our date is not over. Now good day, sir.   ERIC: But Fez -   FEZ: I said, “good day.”   ERIC: Fez, I’m not going anywhere.   FEZ: (beat) Fine. Then good day.   He stands and heads up the aisle.   DONNA: Fez -   FEZ: I said, “good day!”   Eric and Donna shrug, smile, and settle in to watch the movie, Eric’s arm around Donna’ shoulders.   FADE TO BLACK   CREDITS   INT. FORMAN DINING ROOM - NIGHT   FANTASY SEQUENCE. BLACK AND WHITE. THE CIRCLE. Kitty, as Ethel, is eating a brownie.   KITTY: Lucy, these brownies are wonderful! They make me feel silly.   She scarfs the whole thing down in one go.   Pan to Donna, as Lucy.   DONNA: Don’t you just love these dried mint flakes? Someone sold ‘em to me off the street!   Pan to Red, as Fred.   RED: I don’t think these are mint flakes. I’m flyin’!   Pan to Fez, as Ricky.   FEZ: Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!   He does the Ricky laugh.   END.

[slingspeacea]

☆ // SUBJECT: THE EARP HOMESTEAD. LOCATION: PURGATORY, COLORADO

a collection of research exploring the idea, that if not for wynonna earp’s low budget and physical filming location, purgatory and its key landmarks should have been based in the united states,            around the colorado river specifically.  !important: earp roleplayers are more than welcome to also adopt this divergence if they agree with it, and may 100% feel free to REBLOG this post. please remember when interacting with my character, in all verses, that they are from purgatory, colorado, and not from canada. if after reading this, you feel bothered, please let me know and we can absolutely follow writers’ show canon in our threads!!

☆  // WARNING!!

this divergence is strongly opinionated. the writers of the show have confirmed the plot setting for the television series wynonna earp, is in fact located in alberta, canada. i am 100% aware that alberta is absolute show canon. however, as a roleplayer, creative writer, and western fanatic, i can neither ignore, nor let wyatt earp and doc holliday’s history get completely washed away for the sake of filming convenience. make no mistake. i love the show, the storyline, and i love the characters immensely;  but because of both the comic book series, and nonfictional history, their story’s location does not make any sense to me or add up at all. 

☆  // PART I. WYATT’S JOURNEY.

first, let’s begin with wyatt earp’s original routes and a few historical events. i’ve taken the time, and mapped wyatt and doc holliday’s trail out below in order. they were obviously riding on horseback and taking ferries or trains, so they wouldn’t have been using main roads or highways ( although busy trails later became paved highways and roads throughout america ). at only one point does wyatt travel through canada and it is during his two, long journeys to alaska. as you can see below, he really goes nowhere near alberta or calgary on his way to his next stop, seattle, washington. 

it would make way more sense for purgatory to be located somewhere in the united states, in one of the towns wyatt earp lived or stayed in for a prolonged period of time. not to mention the old west  is well... united states history, and all notable events regarding the old west happened in the states. the original 1993 wynonna earp comics even pay homage to places like tombstone ( and can i mention when the t.v series says they’re loosely based on the comics, they are hardly anything like them? like barely even remotely? ). it mentions white trash and trailer parks, hill billys, pabst blue ribbon, you name every southern stereotype, and they cover it. no surprise, it is based in america.

“ two u.s. marshals and a sheriff lie dead in san diablo, new mexico. when marshal wynonna earp hits the trail to bring the killers to justice, she uncovers connections to a devastating new drug...and a pack of redneck vampires! modern firepower and frontier justice --that's wynonna. “          wynonna earp, comic issue #1, summary.

but that’s totally besides the point, and another post probably worth making entirely. let’s get back to the real wyatt earp and docs holliday’s actual history. below are some maps, and i’ve linked bigger versions so they’re easier for y’all to see.

larger map images for reference:     a,   b,   c.

exhibit one: map a.  ↳ this displays his route from dodge city in 1875, up until his last ride to los angeles where he would also die in 1923. this map is all prior to docs death specifically, which is extremely important. why? because doc had obvious connections to both constance clootie and bulshar. this has become even even more so evident in season 3. wyatt earp did not travel through canada until after docs actual death. this alone raises a red flag as someone who thinks placing purgatory in canada was an easy cop-out by show writers, and as someone who often ponders plot holes in the show’s storyline. 

another point i have to to stress, is that a majority of wyatt earp’s time with doc holliday throughout life was spent in the southwestern united states. their stomping grounds are where a majority of the route lines cross on the map, and they traveled between each of those cities, owning saloons, gambling, hunting outlaws, etc.. countless times. i’ll have more to add about this later under section iii, which heavily regards the revenants.

exhibit two: map b. ↳ map b is probably the most important of all three. it depicts what his ride would have looked like from wrangell, ak to nome, and then from wrangell, ak to seattle, wa. google maps actually wouldn’t let me map the whole thing through from idaho and washington to alaska, because fun fact, you have to fly and take ferries to get around from the usa to those alaskan towns. phew, can you imagine wyatt’s adventure to alaska on horseback and water?? his wife actually tried to stop him from making the journey because she was pregnant at the time, but of course, he saw an opportunity for wealth and didn’t listen.

alberta is a far stretch out of the way. he would have had to go over or around the canadian rockies, and since he was traveling to and from alaska from either washington state and/or idaho with a clear destination in mind, it would make no logical sense whatsoever. the red triangle, accurately labeled show’s location wtf??  is where the show’s canon ghost river triangle is located. i know what you’re probably thinking, they never say it straight up in the series,             but writer’s confirmation aside, upon researching there is one particular episode which gave us show purgatory’s exact location right away. here is a picture of waverly in s01e03, with a map of purgatory. . . and here is another .... and now here is an actual, real map which indisputably matches waverly’s layout. note: those are not my screencaps, you can find the original post i got them from here !!

exhibit three: map c. ↳ vildal, california is where he built his home in 1911.  the earps bought a small cottage in vidal, the only home they ever owned. beginning in 1911 and until Wyatt's health began to fail in 1928, Wyatt and sadie earp summered in Los Angeles and spent the rest of the year in the desert working their claims. The "happy days" mine was located in the whipple mountains a few miles north of vidal.  wyatt had some modest success with the happy days gold mine, and they lived on the slim proceeds of income from that and oil wells.  ( source:  wikipedia. )

so, my question is likely the biggest plot hole in the whole freaking television series. how the heck did wyatt’s family homestead end up all the way near calgary, alberta, canada?? the show writers ignore this entirely and uses an insane amount of liberties. wyatt never had any children to begin with, but if one wants to paint the picture of family, love, loyalty, and closeness as they do on the show, i would think that the earps would have remained somewhere closer to wyatt’s grave. at the very least in the same country.

the other major thing to take into consideration, is that by the time map b and map c were traveled, real doc holliday was also dead and no longer amongst the living. i bet your thinking,  ❝   okay so maybe vidal, california would have been an alright place for the show to take place, since that was wyatt’s actual only home.  ❞  and i totally agree, but the more i thought about making this wynonna’s hometown and ground zero for the homestead, the harder i could picture the gang there. problem is, the landscape is nothing but desert. it’s hot and arrid. in vidal there are there are no prairie winds, or great plains, or chinook rocky mountain sunsets. on the show we see mountains, rivers, forests, and more importantly, large amounts of snow. 

this leads the divergence trail back to none other than the myth, the man, and the legend, doc holliday. let’s dive a little more into his relationship with wyatt in the next section.

☆  // PART II. DOC AND WYATT.

how wyatt and doc met in history & the show. ↳ earp had run two cowboys out of wichita earlier in 1878. during the summer, the two cowboys—accompanied by another two dozen men—rode into dodge and shot up the town while galloping down front street. they entered the long branch saloon, vandalized the room, and harassed the customers. hearing the commotion, earp burst through the front door, and before he could react, a large number of cowboys were pointing their guns at him. 

in another version, there were only three to five cowboys. in both stories, holliday was playing cards in the back of the room and upon seeing the commotion, drew his weapon and put his pistol at morrison's head, forcing him and his men to disarm, rescuing earp from a bad situation. no account of any such confrontation was reported by any of the dodge city newspapers at the time. whatever actually happened, earp credited holliday with saving his life that day, and the two men became friends.

how wyatt and doc actually parted ways in history. ↳  according to a letter written by former new mexico territory governor miguel otero, wyatt and holliday were eating at fat charlie's the retreat restaurant in albuquerque, "when holliday said something about earp becoming 'a damn jew-boy.' earp became angry and left…." holliday and dan tipton arrived in pueblo, colorado in late april 1882. ( source: wikipedia. )

doc’s death in real history. ↳ in 1887, prematurely gray and badly ailing, holliday made his way to the hotel glenwood, near the hot springs of glenwood springs, colorado. he hoped to take advantage of the reputed curative power of the waters, but the sulfurous fumes from the spring may have done his lungs more harm than good. as he lay dying, holliday is reported to have asked the nurse attending him for a shot of whiskey. when she told him no, he looked at his bootless feet, amused. the nurses said that his last words were, "this is funny.”  holliday died at 10am on november 8, 1887. he was 36.

wyatt visited sick doc before he died. ↳   wyatt heard of doc’s death shortly after he had died. he was close by in aspen, colorado at the time, and it’s thought that he may have visited doc before his death. josephine  earp told a story about sitting beside doc’s deathbed, but it’s thought that she may have confused this with another occasion ( because of old age ). she additionally gave an account of doc and wyatt’s last meeting in the lobby of a denver hotel. both men were quite upset and josie said that wyatt cried afterwards. there’s also a story that doc’s gun was also sent to wyatt although again not a lot of evidence to prove whether or not it’s true.

wynonna earp flashbacks. ↳   in s01e03, wyatt visited his bedside, where doc is very ill and lying down in a tent. it’s implied doc was resting, wyatt packed up his things for him, and dispite his sickness, earp keeps urging him to ride with him to purgatory. doc rejects knowing he can’t and says goodbye. this is likely right before he seeks out constance clootie for immortality, in whatever town they were in. there is no viable way his transformation could have happened in purgatory, because the church in wynonna’s vision quest later on was somewhere on the outskirts of town.

on the series, doc holliday had already come across constance clootie, and gained his immortality before the best friends had their argument and wyatt disowned him for becoming something of the devil’s work. wyatt also finally admits to his family being cursed. doc was also as equally heartbroken about wyatt’s opinion of his choice, and throughout the series, we see how deeply he considers and takes an earp’s opinion to heart. despite being set in modern years, and appended romantic aspects aside, his relationship with wynonna mirrors that of his and wyatts.  

consider that wyatt already killed constance clootie’s sons, and bulshar clootie is the man he was fixed on punishing for cursing him. it’s entirely plausible doc followed closely behind wyatt’s tail after being shunned, and that wherever wyatt was going was only a few days ride from doc’s staying place. the witch clootie admitted she turned doc ageless to hurt wyatt and succeeded, but we also know that where blushar goes, clootie is looking for vengeance. it’s conceivable to theorize certain suspicions such as, but not limited to; doc wanting take back his immortality due to wyatt’s rejection, and in turn while meeting clootie, got tossed with the final  seal into the well.

the “earp well” lol. ↳  we know doc winds up in a well , but it’s location seems to appear elsewhere from it’s original place on the earp property in season one’s pilot episode, to somewhere in a random forest, in s02ep08. the earp property is said by wynonna to be only 10 acres ( 0.125 sq miles ).  for a farm where you have to drive to get from point a to point b, this is not very large or inaccurate. all shots of the property are also mainly rolling farmland with no large forest vegetation resembling that of the well’s site. i’m going to chalk this discrepancy up to this scene having been in the pilot, having a low budget and limited choices for pilot filming location.

doc’s well was never on the actual earp property like some probably assume at first glance, but instead, somewhere else entirely. just go on ahead and re-watch. after retrieving peacemaker and talking to dolls, wynonna drives up to the purgatory town line, truck facing towards the town. it makes for a clear ( or not so clear ) clue hinting the well’s whereabouts. in s2ep08,  juan carlo takes wynonna outside of purgatory to the outskirts for her vision quest. the well is clearly located in that area and tied heavily to the flashback in the church. from a teen wynonna was a drifter. she could have stashed the gun in an abandoned well anywhere, somewhere safe, and no where too close to the homestead.  but here is another thought, doc and wynonna’s fates were entwined, so who knows? maybe she felt specifically drawn to that area and frequented there to clear her head when she was younger. merely a concept.

finally, bobos imprisonment in the well further proves it’s located elsewhere, since revenants can't step foot on earp land without being burned. this gives us some room to play for setting up wynonna earp’s story in colorado.

tying history and flashbacks together. ↳  this is where it gets complicated, where it’s hard to put things into words, and where my divergence really starts, because the show canon entirely ignores actual history when it comes to the true separation and deaths of both of these men.  we have no clue as to the location in either of these flashbacks on the show, but we do see wyatt is wearing a jacket and scarf. it’s apparently cold outside so there’s at least that to work with. the state of colorado has cold winters, which also works in this divergence’s favor.

if the real doc holliday died in glenn springs, colorado, and the real wyatt earp was in aspen, colorado around the time of his death, we could place purgatory somewhere in that area. doc faked his death on the series, between the time he decided he would became immortal, and the time he was thrown in the well shortly after. sewing these realities together puts purgatory in colorado. doc’s death would make the location default. in regards to the comic taking place in the deserts of the united states, this divergence will also have that covered later on.

the canadian show takes an extreme with creative freedoms and gives no resolution  whatsoever as to how wyatt earp somehow settled down in alberta, candada ( did they even do their fact checking?? ) or how every family member has lived there ever since. the actual wyatt earp had no children, and his home was and will always historically be in vidal, california. 

so, let’s make this more believable. what if in another universe that isn’t real history, but makes a hell of a lot more sense when unified with the show’s,            wyatt earp made a home in colorado after bulshar was buried?  not only close to where is thought to be his best friends grave, but where he can keep an eye on, and protect, bulshar’s remains until he dies? bobo moved him, but where were they prior? on the show wyatt is also said to have been partially involved in entombing bulshar’s body. therefore, this explanation would make 100% total sense as to why wyatt and his wife never made it to vidal, california. his life’s journey would have been stopped dead in its tracks, so he could keep the demon who cursed his family from the widows, and make sure bulshar never returned. one could claim, in a historically based, fictional western series, that wyatt earp built a ranch because of this, and settled down with his wife in a town called purgatory, colorado.

☆  // PART III. WYATT’S CURSE, THE REVS, & THE GHOST RIVER TRIANGLE.

wyatt earp’s curse. ↳  the earp curse makes all people that wyatt earp had killed in his lifetime resurrect over and over again. those revenants can only be killed by the peacemaker which only the current heir can use.           wait a minute. wynonna voice: say whaaaat?? wyatt never killed multiple people in canada. at any point in history. how would the 77 people he killed even get to canada if revenants can’t leave the ghost river triangle in the first place??         can you say, major woops? this is personally my favorite fudge up.

the ghost river triangle. ↳  the ghost river triangle is an area of cursed land, partially framed by the splitting of the ghost river into two, that imprisons the resurrected outlaws killed by wyatt earp. should a revenant cross the boundary line, they experience hell on earth. to quote waverly, in leavin' on your mind: '...everything from the mountains to where the north and south ghost rivers meet, forms the ghost river triangle. it cuts through the big city, contains thousands of square miles of forest, foothills, prairie, the badlands. and all of it...cursed.'

forest, foothills, prairie, and badlands? yeah, if we want to place divergent purgatory somewhere in the united states to make the show a little more historically accurate, the ghost river triangle definitely parallels to none other than the colorado river. the colorado river runs through colorado, utah, arizona, nevada, california, and all the way down to mexico. at least three of those states were in fact, wyatt’s stomping grounds before and after his historically recorded vendetta ride. 

not to go with some total, mythical, movie cliche here, but in an alternative wynonna world set in the united states, the ghost river triangle could have also been named by the native americans who inhabited the land along the colorado river. factually, many parts of the colorado river are actually suspected to be haunted. let’s not get too carried away, though. alberta canada is in fact home of a real place called the ghost river valley, and there’s totally no disputing that.

wyatt’s vendetta ride ↳  in history the vendetta ride was a deadly search, where wyatt lead a federal posse for outlaw cowboys they believed had ambushed, and maimed virgil earp and killed morgan earp. the earp brothers had been attacked in retaliation for the deaths of three cowboys in the gunfight at the o.k. corral on october 26, 1881. from march 20 to april 15, 1882, the federal posse searched southeast cochise county, arizona territory for suspects in both virgil's and morgan's attacks. several suspects had been freed by the court, owing in some cases to legal technicalities and in others to the strength of alibis provided by cowboy confederates. up to this point, wyatt had relied on the legal system to bring the cowboys to justice. now he felt he had to take matters into his own hands.

i could be wrong, but i have a feeling the chase for bulshar is loosely based on this part of wyatt earp’s history. the parallel of his two own brothers dying, and two of clootie’s sons dying, is a little thought provoking, no? coincidental even? an eye for an eye, perhaps? there is a lot of wyatt’s history left to be uncovered and explored, and that’s if the show writers even decide to reveal anything else at all. on the show, wyatt got innocent people killed, there was one hell of a lot of collateral damage surrounding him. 

i feel 100% comfortable standing firmly by the headcanon that after wyatt was cursed and his brothers were killed, that he went on a tear after bulshar and destroyed anyone who got in his way. this is important, because these events could be tied to his life in tombstone, arizona, and the events which took place in and after the shootout at the OK corral. if he was cursed in tombstone, then there is no way around it,          one of the ghost river triangle’s points would have to begin there.

the revmap, i mean . . . revamp. ↳ below is a map which bases a divergent ghost river triangle heavily off of history. it takes into consideration doc holliday and wyatt earp’s routes, where doc’s last known whereabouts were, where wyatt would have killed the most men, and finally, his vendetta ride. in total the divergent river triangle’s perimeter is about 2,500 miles and takes 36 hours nonstop to drive. in contrast, the show’s ghost river triangle is 617 miles and takes about only an easy 12 hours to drive from point to point. purgatory is west of denver, and the homestead is about where the house icon is.   ( larger image version is here. )

yeah okay, so the size may be of some issue, but vastness aside, there are three things this triangle does have, that the other doesn’t. firstly, historical accuracy. it includes nearly all of the areas where a number of wyatt’s targets made their peace. if we tie back to wyatt’s vendetta ride and the whole paralleling idea for a moment, many of the revenants who rode with bulshar would've died in various areas of colorado and the purgatory area. secondly, the terrain might aid with narrowing revenant whereabouts down. deserts and mountains surround a majority of these iconic towns.          and lastly another argument can be made that because some revenants do want to end the earp line, few might've simply migrated to colorado and placed themselves somewhere closer within wynonna’s line of fire.

i could continue ridiculously blabbering on and on about why i chose this location divergence for my character. everything from climate, to terrain, and how there are salt flats in utah nearby, or my really strong distaste for how the show writers erased wyatt earp and doc holliday’s real history,            but in honesty i think everything i’ve covered above nicely sums up my research and premise. anywhooo, that’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed the read!

[visforvengeance]

Reggie x SP x OC: Fingers Crossed -Smut sorta-

Requested by: @rocsahlt

Summary: Hey I was wondering if you could do a one shot or a series where the reader was from the south side or is family with someone from the south side (like Toni’s cousin or something) and both reggie and sweat pea like her and she’s the only person who doesn’t judge the south side but is from the north side (so she goes to school with the gang and is friends with b and v and everyone) and you could add smut too

Notes: this is like my first actual story since my long assssssss break. It’s gonna be a poly relationship between the reader, Reggie, and SP. Now it’s up to you which Reggie you guys want. I’m doing this based off of S2 Reggie, cuz daddy. You already know what the fuck is gonna happen. A fucking striptease and female masturbation at the end. I’m gonna use my OC's name, Nova. Sooooo ye, and as much as I don’t like Betty. I had to be nice for this damn story. This is very shitty. I hope this is somewhat decent for you, love.

Song: Lovely by Brent Faiyaz

Nova’s Pov

I wouldn’t say being Toni’s cousin was easy, but it wasn’t hard either. Being that we live on opposite sides was definitely a problem. Now I don’t judge anyone from the Southside, considering ya girl was born there, but I do hate it when Toni fucks around because I live on the Northside.Oh my god and don’t get me started on what’s his face. Ehm Sweet Pea, was it? Yeah, that snarky fucker. The fucking nerve he’s got calling me ‘Northside Princess’. I’ll show him a princess. But in all honesty, the kid is kind of cute. Fuck that he’s daddy material. Homeboy could like get it. Oh boy, that leather jacket suits him. You guys think he’d go for a Northside girl? Nah probably not, since he like hates us so much. But can you blame him? We blame everything bad that’s ever happened in Riverdale on them. Not to make anything better, fucking Archie just had to go start shit and lookit where we are now. Thanks, Archiekins. 

Sweet Pea’s Pov

Those fucking Northsiders could like really get their heads out of their asses. Those weak ass murders that are happening there isn’t our fault. We literally have no type of business over there whatsoever. Well except me. My business is about 5′3, brown colored shoulder length hair, brown eyes, and a really wicked smile. Oh, and her name is Nova. She’s like Toni’s twin but cuter. She’s the only Northsider I’ve learned to tolerate, besides Jughead. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Her laugh is like a melody and her lame jokes are fucking hilarious. Never thought I’d be saying this, but I think I’ve fallen in love with a Northside Girl.

Nova’s Pov

Another dreadful day at the wonderful Riverdale High. I hate all of these bitches, except my friends, of course. I almost tackled Veronica and Betty. “Oh my god, guys. I missed you so much.” “Whoa there, babe. How was your weekend in the armpit of Riverdale?” Veronica asked. I sent her a death glare. Not a playful one either. “Ronnie, don’t. And it was great, thank you very much. I’d rather be there than here any day.” She rolled her eyes and was about to say something, but Betty cut her off. “Did you see Juggie?” I sighed. Even tho Betty and Jughead broke up, she still asks about him. And I feel so bad for her. “Yeah, Betts I did. He’s okay as of now. He still asks about you everytime he sees me.” She smiled a little. “It’s gonna be okay. B. I promise.” I said as I gave her a hug. She sighed. “I know. I just wish that this didn’t have to happen. This stupid killer almost ruined my relationship with you guys. My best friends in the whole world. And he completely shattered my relationship with Jughead. The absolute love of my life. Not to mention he’s a serpent now.” I didn’t want to hear the shit she had to say so I cut her off. “Whoops, time to go to class. Bye babies, see you at lunch!” I screamed down the hall running to my class. Only to bump into Reggie Mantle.

Reggie’s Pov

“Whoa there, didn’t know you were so happy to see me.” I said as I looked down at the shorter girl. “Oh fuck. Reggie, why is your chest so hard? I have a whole headache now.” I laughed. She was so cute. “Uh, I work out. Duh. And are you okay? You want some ice?” She chuckled. “I mean compared to that one time a stack of books fell on my head, this is nothing. I’ll be fine, but thank you for offering. That was really sweet of you.” I nodded and grabbed her hand while walking to class. “Whoaaa, what’re you doing?” “We’re going to the same class right? So why not? I mean I can let go of your hand if you want.” “NO. What, no. You’re fine. It’s okay.” She let out a nervous laugh. “Good, because I honestly didn’t want to let your hand go.” 

Nova’s Pov 

“Good, because I honestly didn’t want to let your hand go.” Oh, Reggie, you can hold whatever you want. “You can hold my hand as long as you want. Except for when we get to our seat, because then that would be awkward. Us sitting across from each other with our hands just dangling away? That’s weird.” We both laughed. Reggie wasn’t as much of an asshole like I thought he’d be. He was really cute. I may or may not like him too. I’m in a really fucked up position here. There’s Sweet Pea, Southside Serpent, tall and kind of an asshole, funny, never met anyone more sarcastic than Jughead besides myself and Toni, looks like he’d fuck you crazy but will get you food afterwards. And then there’s Reggie, football player, tall hehe, dimples, big hands, funny, sweet, caring, looks like he’s into some kinky ass shit, also looks like he’d fuck you crazy but will cuddle afterwards. I can’t just choose between the two, that’s hard. Maybe if I persuade them well enough, they’d be open to a polyamorous relationship.

After school, I asked both boys to meet me at Pop’s. Sweet Pea knows about Pop’s because I’d taken him here multiple times. None of them know that the other is coming, but I bet they’d fuck each other up if I didn’t stop them. I heard the bell ring and their bickering as they entered. I got up and walked towards them. “Boys. Stop it. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” They automatically stopped whatever it was they were arguing about. Then they bombarded me with questions like ‘are you okay? did he do something to you?’ I just grabbed their hands and led them to the booth I was at and motioned for them to sit. “I wanted to tell you guys that I really like the both of you. I honestly cannot choose between the two of you. I like one of you just as much as I like the other. I know that you guys have had your differences in the past. I’m asking you guys if somehow there’s a way you could solve whatever issue it is that you have for the sake of me. Reggie, you only hate Sweet Pea because of whatever it was that Archie put inside your head. You don’t really hate him, do you?” He shook his head no. “I know that you guys don’t know each other as well as I do. So if you agree to eventually have a relationship between the three of us, you’d need to get to know each other. But would you guys maybe wanna be my boyfriends?” “Like at the same time?” Reggie asked. I nodded. hesitantly. “No way. It's either him or me. You can’t have us both at the same time.” Sweet Pea mumbled. “Like I said earlier, losers. I can’t choose just one of you. So, with that being said. I’ll choose neither of you.” And I walked away.

Reggie’s Pov

“Dude, I think she’s hurt.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Look I know that was probably about the craziest thing you’ve ever heard. But maybe we could work this out? For her at least.” He just shrugged. I sighed. “I know what happened was wrong. And you were just trying to defend your town. Archie was wrong to just up and decide it was the Serpent’s fault. Whoever is targeting Riverdale knows way too much about anyone born here. You’ve got no reason being here. And we had no reason to literally vandalize your buildings. So, I'm sorry.” He thought about it for a second and sighed. “Let’s go get this relationship shit started.” And I smiled

Nova’s Pov

I really tried. Oh my god, it's going to be so fucking awkward tomorrow. Maybe that was a stupid thing to do. There was a knock at my door. No one was home so I was forced to get it. Once I opened it, I was totally surprised. “Uh, guys what are you doing here?” “We came to tell you that we’re sorry and we’re willing to try this whole poly relationship thing out.” I’ve never been so hype. I pulled them in and just kinda explain how it worked. “So you’d be dating both of us and we’d all be dating each other?” Sweet Pea asked. I laughed at his confusion. “Exactly. Are you down?” He thought about it for a minute and nodded. I literally leaped into their laps. “Good! Because if you guys would’ve said no then you wouldn’t be able to fuck me, now would you?” Boy, were they speechless. “Come on boys. Don’t flake out on me now. Or would you rather watch?” I mumbled as I stood up. They were staring so intently as I took off my shirt revealing my breast. 

I almost fell in love with you

After the club last night

They don't know what you do (Oh)

Money's gon' treat you right

I ran my hands over my breasts, as I proceeded to trail my hands to the hem of my pants. Unbuttoning them as slowly as I could. I could hear their breathing getting harder. Sliding down my bottoms and kicking them to the side, I smirked at their faces. Mouths wide open and eyes practically bulging out of their sockets.

Girl don't act like you changed

When we both know you can't

And I know you love me

'Cause I think you're lovely

I started swaying my hips to the beat. Running my hands down my thighs and through my hair. Twisting and twirling to the song. I turned around and gave them a full view of what I got.

Girl check my coat (baby won't you check my coat)

Drop that ass on the floor (drop that ass on the floor)

See you move on that pole (way you move on that pole)

Baby look at you go (baby look at you go)

I shimmied my way into the chair across from the boys. Giving them a good view of my pussy. I spread my legs wide enough so I could slide my hand between them. My fingers made its way to the slippery slit and squeezed in between them. I rubbed the little bundle of nerves and moaned at how good it felt. When I looked at the boy in front of me, they had their hand in their pants pumping up and down. That only made me wetter. I slipped in two finger fingers and began plunging in and out, getting faster by the second. My moans began getting louder and louder. I could hear the boys' moans as the kept pleasuring themselves. The feeling of intensity kept growing inside of me. My breathing getting faster and heavier, as I got closer to my orgasm. It felt like a truck had hit me. “Oh my fucking god.” I breathed out. “I know.” Reggie and Sweet Pea mumbled. I slipped on the t-shirt I had on and flopped in between my boyfriends. “Next time you boys will be doing the work.” I said as I sprawled out on them. “It would be our pleasure.”

[fireandseaweed]

Man Buns, Hipster Glasses and Tweed || Annabeth and Percy

Annabeth and Percy indulge in some activism before the raid on the Open Hearth. 

Percy looked out across the sea of mostly familiar faces. He had been the one who had brought Alex and Hailey Pritchard to Camp Half Blood with Annabeth after empousai had killed their satyr protector. He had been the one to convince Will Solace to go to medical school here. This place held the best memories of his life and he wasn’t about to give it up. But possibly the best thing was that he wasn’t in charge of any of it. For the first time in a long time he was just part of the team. As he held up a cardboard sign that read a very quippy line about Greek Pride, he couldn’t help but beam with pride. Activism was something that he’d always been interested in, but now he was actually working towards a goal that actually mattered. “Blossom has done a good job with this,” he said as he slipped his fingers in between Annabeth’s and held her hand, pressing a kiss to her cheek as they all waited for the march to begin, “I know the situation is far from ideal, but at least we made it here, at least we are doing something and we can show everyone that this is a serious movement. We are here to stay.” There was so much more that he was there for, he was here to protect the family he didn’t have yet. He was here because New Rome was his home and had been for several years now.

At first, Annabeth hadn’t hesitated when she’d heard of the march exhibiting Greek Pride. It didn’t seem a question as to whether or not she would be one to stand up for herself and her fellow Greeks. But later thought had gotten her thinking that perhaps they were only instigating things further. Were they only widening the divide by doing this? Doing more harm than good? But the she’d caught sight of Percy’s smile and known they were right to march. If they didn’t stand up and say that they were here to stay, things would most certainly become worse.  The Romans would most likely think the Greeks were perfectly alright with being rolled over, and having their places of business vandalized. “I think we’ve got a regular Susan B. Anthony on our hands. The B obviously stands for Blossom.” So here she was with an equally snappy sign and a smile as Percy placed a kiss on her cheek with the warmth of his hand in her’s. She had used her full array of colored markers and favorite ruler to make sure their signs looked impeccable. “We are here to stay.” She couldn’t help but think of the implication of the words, the notion that it could include her and Percy leading a life here in New Rome for many years to come...together. “I have to say, Percy. Activism is a decent look for you.” She was quite proud of the showing up they had done today.

Smirking gently, Percy had to admit that this was a lot more fun than he had thought that it would be. Blossom’s idea was brilliant really, by raising money for the Senate House they demonstrated that they were not only dedicated to the regeneration of New Rome, but that they were also more than willing to do what was necessary to secure their place in the city. He just hoped that the Romans and the Greeks would be able to work together. They had gone through so much in the last couple of years and he couldn’t imagine what they would do if they were lose all of that now. “Of course we are,” he replied with a smile. As the march set off, Percy followed the current of people that was winding its way away from the forum and towards the eastern district. Percy knew the way well, their apartment was in the eastern district. It was cheaper, mainly because it was an area populated by students and greek members of the community. He loved it here. “I think that you look much better as an activist,” he replied with a bright laugh and a gentle smile, brushing his hair out of his eyes, his smile slid into a smirk. “You just need some cute nerdy glasses, little round turtle shell rimmed ones, and then we’d have a perfect little prissy activist. But let’s not mention the years of military training.”

There was no one Annabeth smiled as much around as she did with Percy. Already he had garnered many a grin from her with his dorky jokes and flirty lines, and his latest one was no exception as a chuckle fell from her lips. “Cute nerdy glasses? Are you saying I could use improvement?” She narrowed her eyes at him, as if challenging him to say yes. The word prissy wasn’t particularly offensive to her as he said. “If you’re using prissy as another word for knowing what you want and being able to take it. Then I accept this.” If prissy was the word that came to mind when he was speaking of a badass girl who fought for her right to stay, she would take it gladly. “What? Is this some new sexual fantasy of your’s? A prissy activist?” She gave him a once over, as if judging his get-up. “And what about you? I can’t be the only one needing a makeover. Where are you thick-rimmed oversized glasses? You’re locally sourced tweed trousers? Not to mention your man-bun.” She tutted her tongue at him. “And you call yourself an activist.”

Raising an eyebrow gently at her reply Percy couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face in reply to Annabeth’s comments, he knew that she was joking and that was what made their relationship so perfect. But her laugh was so beautiful that he couldn’t ignore it at a moment like this. “Everyone could use a little bit of improvement, but for you, it is only that you don’t quite have perfect eyesight…” he trailed off for a second before relenting, “I’m joking.” He gave her a warm smile and shrugged. “Well, I’m a very sexually liberated man, I may not have the locally sourced tweed and I may be missing a septum piercing and several anarchist tattoos, and I’ve not read the communist manifesto, but I like to think that I am at least allowed to want to see you in nothing but reading glasses and pigtails…” he gave her another signature lopsided smile. He must have given it to her a hundred times today, but he couldn’t help it. The march was winding it’s way through New Rome and Percy was thoroughly enjoying himself. “Although, I’ll admit that I am enjoying activism, I think it looks good on us.”

Annabeth rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, which was probably the second most popular reaction he drew from her after smiling, of course— though sometimes they went hand in hand as they were doing now. “I know you’re joking Seaweed Brain,” she paused to raise her sign higher over her head. “I have perfect eyesight. Just like I have perfect everything.” Percy was the one person she would say most anything around, and still feel comfortable. There was rarely a time when she had to think twice about her words when around him. Such was a by-product of knowing one another for so long...as well as being extremely comfortably in love. “Reading glasses and pigtails?” She raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him. “Well maybe if you play your cards right…” her words and tone trailed off suggestively. As they rounded another bend of the streets of New Rome, there came a show of anti-protestors, holding signs that were calling for Greeks to either learn their place or go home and other similar messages. Pursing her lips, she turned away from the offensive signs, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing the bubbling irritation in her stormy gray eyes. “I don’t understand what threat they think we are or whatever,” she said under her breath to Percy.

Percy smirked gently as Annabeth said that she had perfect everything, it wasn’t that it was funny it was just that it was true. “Well I’ve seen you naked well practically on a daily basis at this point so I can more than agree that you have perfect everything,” he said with a bright laugh as he kept marching, “that is why I am so very lucky to have you.” He shifted his sign so that the front was facing the back and the back was facing the front and went back to marching as he did his very best not to think about what Annabeth had been suggesting. That would have to wait till later tonight. The march for the first time hit protests against it and Percy found himself wondering the exact same thing as Annabeth. “I can’t say that I particularly understand it if I’m honest with you. All the money that we are raising is to help them so why do they want us out so badly?” It was a hard feeling, being rejected by the one place that you wanted to accept you. He had struggled with friends growing up but nothing on this scale, it felt like a whole community was against them.

Annabeth laughed along with Percy for another moment before shifting her sign to get a better grip on it. Part of her was wondering what they’d be doing with the signs once the march was completed. If they were to throw them away, she wasn’t entirely sure how easily she’d part with them. Even though they were a much simpler project, they were a project nonetheless. Though Annabeth was generally notoriously organized...that didn’t mean she didn’t have a slight hoarding problem. “You’re right about you being lucky.” Percy would know she was teasing...even if her rather healthy ego saw some truth in her words. Suddenly being rejected by the Romans also had Annabeth somewhat anxious in addition to being annoyed. Though it seemed a rather impossible though, if the Romans did somehow get rid of the Greeks as they seemed to wish to do...where would she and Percy go? She knew they’d be welcomed back to Camp Half-Blood to an extent, but what about as they continued to age? New Rome was the only place demigods could actually lead entirely safe lives. “Exactly! And who knows how much longer the fire might have gone on if the Greeks hadn’t been there to help. The Romans did a lot of work but- it would have taken them even longer to douse the flames if we hadn’t been there.”

Shrugging gently to her, Percy wondered how much luck he had had when he’d been trying to save the world every other month. “I’ve always been lucky I guess,” he replied, “especially since you’re still here, my luck obviously hasn’t run out yet.” The whole problem was a lack of understanding a general ignorance that made him worry. What would they do if what they feared came to pass, their were humanitarian laws to stop mortals from doing things like this but who would police the demigod community if something were to happen. So far the Gods hadn’t gotten involved and Percy expected that they wouldn’t want any part in this. “They don’t seem to realise that we are here to help them out, they just all seem so afraid that we have a hidden motive and agenda.” He bit his lip and sighed as they approached the Open Hearth. “We have to prove them wrong.”

“Stop that,” Annabeth told Percy as he continued to agree with her, shoving him lightly though her smile persisted. “I might start to think you like me.” As they continued to march, they passed the rather impressive and splendid skyline of New Rome. Camp Half-Blood had been the first place she had felt most comfortable to call home, and was most certainly where her heart would always lie— apart from with Percy, but New Rome had also become her home. It wasn’t simply her newest home being placed into jeopardy, but their future as well. And if the Romans thought they could take such a thing from her and her friends, they were sorely mistaken. “We will prove them wrong. We’ve got nothing to hide. And we know that Reyna and Frank don’t want the Greeks gone, so no matter what happens we have the support of the praetors.” Though the discovery of the Greek Fire as the start of the Senate House fire had been rather unfortunate. But there was also a part of Annabeth that wondered if it had even been Greek Fire that was responsible. She wouldn’t put it past the Romans to try and frame the Greeks by ‘claiming’ that a notoriously greek weapon had been the cause of it. Who was to say the fire hadn’t actually been an accident, and the Romans were taking advantage of said accident?

“Oh don’t worry wise girl,” Percy replied with a bright smirk crossing his face, “I don’t just like you, I think that it is pretty obvious that it is much much more than that…” he thought back to their conversation about kids. This was the best place for them to raise kids and that was all being put in jeopardy. “That does make me feel better, and we’ve got Jason too, he has some swing left in him, at least I hope so…” he trailed off and rubbed his eyes. He was almost always tired, but with everything going on it was more difficult than ever for him to get to sleep. “I don’t know why there are so many of them that can’t stand us, we’ve only ever attacked the city once and that was a dumb accident, it wasn’t Leo’s fault he was possessed….” he trailed off once more and sighed sadly, wishing that there was more that he could do to change the situation that they were in. As he reached the steps up to the Open Hearth he was received by more Greeks and college students who clapped him on his shoulder and greeted him and Annabeth warmly. These were his people and he wanted to protect them but part of him wondered if he was ever going to be able to do it. Was this a task that was too big?

“Gross,” Annabeth joked once more, though the smile in her eyes spoke to how she was truly pleased by his words. Of course she knew that Percy loved her, but that didn’t mean she got tired of hearing it. His mention of Jason had her uncertain though. Obviously, she loved Jason dearly— him being the closest thing she had to a brother, but she couldn’t help but remember how the dead Roman soldiers had refused to listen to him all those years ago in the Necromanteion. If they had already begun to question Jason that time ago...who was to say live Roman soldiers wouldn’t start to do so as well? But she shouldn’t be thinking of this right now. Today was a time for fun and pride, and she tried to shake off the heavier conversation for the moment, though her mind continued to whirl around the subject. “Speaking of Leo. How many drinks do you think it’ll be before he accidentally lights something on fire at the Open Hearth?”

The entire situation put Percy on edge, he couldn’t believe that things had gotten as bad as they had already and he hated seeing it get any worse. That was why he was fighting for this, he was doing absolutely everything in his power to make things right and part of him worried that it still wasn’t enough. “Very gross.” He couldn’t help agree with Annabeth, he really did agree with her, he wasn’t that whipped yet. “Somewhere between four and five, there are a high number of children of Ares who signed up for the first and second cohort who are attending and they seem to have been very proud to be Greek, so it won’t be long before they’re trying to make balistai out of a chair leg or something stupid like that.” He shrugged. “I’ve got a few buckets of ice behind the bar just in case anything needs to be put out.”

Again, Annabeth only grinned in her response to his agreeing with her. “Everyone knows that Poseidon kids have cooties.” She shouted along with the chants that were being led for a moment, letting herself be swept up in the energy of the march for the duration of them. All grouped up like this, chanting for the same thing and pride— she felt as if they were invincible. Truly, there was strength in numbers, as well as strength in having Percy by her side. “Of course there are a high number of Ares attending,” she mumbled under her breath, thinking of Clarisse and how much she would overreact to their current situation. Though she chuckled at Percy’s comment she also went on to say, “I just hope they aren’t successful. The last thing we need is a fight breaking out. It’s not as if the Romans don’t think we’re barbarians already. We hardly need to give them any excuse to think it more. But look at you coming all prepared for anything. I’m starting to wonder if you even need Riptide to automatically return to your pocket with how responsible you’ve become.” Of course, if he lost the sword in battle via disarming it was still incredibly useful, but she couldn’t resist teasing him.

“Ah, I think you’ll find that it is Athenians who have cooties, Poseidon kids have crabs. Don’t worry though, it is an easy mistake to make.” Percy smirked broadly before shrugging and chanting along with everyone else. It was a shame he’d never been able to engage in activism outside of New Rome, he was starting to think that he would’ve really loved it. He couldn’t help but smirk further at her jabs at the children of Ares. “Well, at least they’re willing to stand up and fight for what they believe in, although I’m not sure they wanted to when they found out that a daughter of the goddess of Peace had organised it…” he trailed off and smirked gently, the idea of the children of war and peace getting along was something that he wished Chiron could see. He hoped that their mentor would’ve been proud of them. “Ah, well, I’ve been trying extra hard to grow up actually,” he pointed out with a smirk, “this morning I had diet coke in my lucky charms! Diet.” He was of course joking. Diet coke was gross. It was all about coke zero.

Annabeth couldn’t help the hearty laugh that came from her at Percy’s joke, and she was only reminded once more of how much she loved him as her eyes crinkled in joy. “Thank the gods we use protection. The last thing I want is crabs. I’m perfectly happy with my cooties. At least they’re smart.” She could see the Open Hearth coming in to view, the front of the march already filing into the establishment. It marked the end of the progression, and a part of Annabeth was sad it was over— though she was excited for the celebrations that were sure to come inside the restaurant. “Definitely. That’s one thing Ares kids are useful for. And as if you’d go near anything but Coke Zero. We maybe be getting old Percy...but not that old. Soon enough we might even progress to cereals without marshmallows in them.”

As they reached the Open Hearth and the swarm of Greeks and the occassional Roman began to fan out around the building, everyone looking for drinks and refreshments, Percy couldn’t help himself and quickly found that he was pulling Annabeth into a lopsided hug and press a firm kiss to her cheek. “We made it, and of course we use protection, who doesn’t take a celestial bronze dagger to bed with them? Monsters under the bed is a very real thing….” he laughed after a second of silence and smirked gently. “Ah, you know me too well Annabeth,” he confessed with a bright grin, “I doubt I’d go near anything like that, we can’t all be boring and enjoy cardboard -- I mean cornflakes…”

[kpopfanfictrash]

Row AQ

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Yoongi (Suga)

Genre: Fluff / Humor

Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.” + Library!AU

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2,955

Someone wrote in the book.

Slamming the cover shut, you glare at the deadened library before you. The place is empty, nothing but vacant tables and books as far as the eye can see.

Plopping down in your chair, you sullenly scroll through your laptop and sigh. The book is Kerouac – On the Road, which is an ostentatiously male read. This is the main reason you assume the defacer is male, although the handwriting alone might be enough to identify that fact. Bold scribbles in the margins, notes about the book and life in general. Which would be fine, if this were his book, but it is not.

Rather sadly, you brush the book’s spine. Without thinking, you flip the book open to page 114. This is where the writer apparently lost steam, for the notes end here. It’s the beginning of Part II, where Sal and Dean are discussing a dream Sal had. They converse briefly on the idea of longing for death. Written in the margin is:

It’s interesting... they say they want nothing to do with death, and yet their lifestyle is a contradiction of this. Bright and burning, ferocious and reckless. Is living like this an attempt to keep death at bay, or draw it closer? After all, what’s more alive than to look death in the face and know you’re not?

Lowering the book, you stare into space for a moment. 

Perhaps the most annoying part of the whole situation is how intriguing the vandal’s comments are; how thoughtful and intelligent he seems to be. Second most annoying is that the notes are penned in a jarring shade of blue ink. The color lends further to the insult and, gritting your teeth, you push the book aside.

It’s the guy’s audacity which really irks you. The fact that he assumed everyone would want to read his thoughts. 

What’s even more annoying is he didn’t even check the book out. When you looked up the last owner, you saw Rosie Garcell. She checked the book out four months ago, despite On the Road being found out of place yesterday.

It’s not only On the Road, either – you found similar notes in Hamlet and The Importance of Being Earnest; big, giant HA’s written across the pages of the latter. At least the guy finds Cecily as annoying as you do, although you suppose that’s kind of the point. The guy flat out screams in the margins in one spot, which made you laugh. Only briefly, before you caught yourself.

Rosie Garcell never checked out The Importance of Being Earnest though, which means the vandal isn’t her. It’s someone else removing the books from their shelves, marking them in bright blue ink and putting them back. You just need to find out who and make them stop.

At least, now you know what book the vandal is on. Staring at On the Road, you contemplate whether or not to act. On the one hand, you really want to let them know you’re onto them. On the other hand, if you do what you’re thinking, it’d make you complicit in their public destruction.

Exhaling deeply, you set the book down on the table. Flipping to page 114 and staring at the last note, you cast a quick glance around the room and lower your pen.

Honestly. What are you doing, defacing library books? Buy your own copy if you want to wax poetic.

You frown at the words, re-reading and wondering if they’re threatening enough. Or possibly they’re too threatening. This is your first conversation, after all. Shaking your head, you decide you’re over-thinking things again. 

Before you can stop myself though, you add:

Thanks, and hope you have a nice day.

Placing your pen back in your pocket, you glance at the empty library. Walking quickly to row AQ, where On the Road was found, you shove the book back into place and wipe your now-sweaty palms on your pants. Hopefully, the vandal won’t take long to reply.

They don’t.

The very next night, you check Row AQ for an update before sitting down at your desk. On the Road is visible, its red jacket prominent and your heart starts to pound, walking down the aisle. You didn’t shelve it sticking out so far. Grabbing its spine, you gasp when you see an earmarked page. 

Page 196, and beside the page marker is a note.

Hello, either A) righteous library worker or B) concerned citizen who’s wandered in from the streets. It’s good to see you’re taking an interest in the public library system. I, too, wish I could buy my own copy but unfortunately, I’m flat-out broke. Skint, penniless, no coin in my threadbare pockets.

That said, it was kind – if somewhat odd – of you to wish me a nice day, so I’ll do the same.

P.S. What did you think of Sal and Dean’s conversation? Do you see the lure of death? Personally, I think it’d be kind of fun to haunt someone.

You almost laugh, but catch yourself just in time. This punk – he has some nerve to try and be funny in this kind of situation. Despite this, you find myself smiling as you walk down the aisle. 

Battling the guilt of removing a book from its row, you bring the book to your desk and sit to re-read the vandal’s words. The library is busier than usual tonight, so it’s a long while before you can lay your pen to paper.

Hello, sir.

You are a sir, aren’t you? If you’re female and I’ve assumed wrongly based on your handwriting – I do apologize. It’s fine that you’re broke, but why do you have to write in the margins? You can just read! Control your ink.

Interesting though, that you think it’d be fun to haunt someone because WRITE IN THE MARGIANS AGAIN and if I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.

P.S. I did agree with your general thoughts on the conversation.

Quickly shutting the book, you wonder what the hell you’re doing.

You’re an upstanding citizen. You volunteer, work part-time around your college courses and always, always pay your credit card bill on time. You’re not a chronic margin-writer and yet, here you are on your bathroom break, sliding the book into its new spot at the end of row AQ.

Returning to your desk, you wonder if this guy visits the library in the morning. It must be a time other than your shift, since you never seem to see him. Or, maybe he’s sitting here right now. Scanning the room, you narrow my eyes and try to identify the culprit.

A woman stands at the water fountain; you watch her pile three books on top of the ledge before taking a drink. You wince at the thought of them falling before moving on to the next person. Behind her sits a girl and boy. Neither one of them have pens with them though, and both seem immersed in their books, so you keep looking.

One by one, you cross off every person in the library. Sinking lower in your seat to swivel around, you know this is silly, yet your gaze continues to drift in the direction of the stacks. There’s nothing to do now but wait, and it is with this mindset the night passes.

The next day, you fairly run from your lecture hall. Catching the bus in record time, you sprint from the steps and nearly bowl over the lone guy who stands in line for the bus. Shoulder hitting his, you spin to jog backwards. 

“Sorry!” you yell, wincing when the guy doesn’t look. “Really!”

Nodding once, the guy adjusts his black beanie and climbs onto the bus. Over his shoulder, he waves a hand to acknowledge he’s fine. Shrugging, you hike your bag higher and open the library doors. 

First, you wander the room, glancing at every face before reaching row AQ. It’s disappointing when you find the book already there. You’d been half-hoping to catch whoever it is in the act.

Tugging the book from the shelf, it falls open in your hand.

Yes, I’m a guy and although I don’t object to being called sir, Yoongi will do. I’m offended you’d ask me to stop writing. Ask me not to breathe, ask me not to speak, but never deprive me of words.

You’ll haunt my ass? For uh, scientific reasons… are you a girl or a guy?

P.S. Also – just out of curiosity, which notes of mine stuck out?

Your heart pounds, probably from running so fast. As you firmly shut the book, you realize today’s page is 215. Either, Yoongi didn’t have as much time to read, or he’s reading slower than usual. The realization makes you wonder if he’s enjoying the exchange as much as you are, and attempting to stretch out our conversation.

Glancing at your watch, you notice the time. 4:05 PM – damn, you’re late. Dashing back to the front, you studiously avoid meeting your boss’ gaze. It’s not like you can explain where you’ve been, or what you’ve been doing. Your pen itches to write Yoongi back but again, the library is busy tonight. 

You end up preoccupied nearly until close, helping students to find books, returning old ones to shelves: cataloguing, indexing and checking people in. Finally, around 10:00 PM, you explain to your boss you need to return one more book to its shelf.

Returning to row AQ, you squat behind the shelves. Scribbling furiously to Yoongi, you write on page 215.

I am a girl, my name is Y/N. I’ll be sure to respect your boundaries when I’m haunting you. I do want to apologize though, for telling you to stop writing. In all honesty – despite the delinquency of method – the notes you wrote were rather beautiful.

P.S. I have a lot of favorites

The next day, you manage to work for nearly a half-hour before allowing yourself to check the shelf. You half-jog to row AQ, yanking On the Road from it’s hiding place on the shelf. 

Page 217 has been bookmarked and you laugh, realizing yes, Yoongi is reading slower on purpose.

Hi Y/N,

You work here, don’t you? You must, since you keep calling me all sorts of rude things for doodling in the margins. What’s your favorite book? I’ll read that one next. If… I can ever finish this book, that is. Page 216 was tough to get through. It took me an entire day.

P.S. Please tell me? I’ll tell you something in return.

Exhaling softly, you try and suppress your excitement. You don’t know Yoongi, you remind yourself. It makes absolutely no sense to be so interested in what he has to say. 

The library is rather empty tonight, though, so you quickly pull out your ballpoint pen and settle down on the floor. You’ve been writing in black ink throughout the book, in contrast to Yoongi’s blue-colored notes.

I only call you names you deserve, Yoongi. 

Defacer, graffitist, criminal, thug, ruffian, delinquent – I could go on, but this is only a 300 page novel. Defacing books is the highest form of crime, in my opinion. My favorite book is The Importance of Being Earnest – but I saw you wrote notes in the margins of that one already.

P.S. What secret would you tell me?

The next night, on page 218:

Y/N, I think you’re forgetting one, very important detail and that is – you’re ALSO writing in this book! You’re a defacer, a graffitist, a criminal, a ruffian, a delinquent – well, I can’t quite say thug. Although, if you want me to call you a thug, far be it from me to crush your dreams.

P.S. If you tell me what your favorite note is, I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone

The conversation has been going on for over a week.

Rereading Yoongi’s last note, you lean your head to the wall. You feel as if you know him, which sounds silly. You don’t know this Yoongi. You don’t know anything real about him, beyond his pen and his ink and his words but somehow, this feels like enough.

Yoongi.

I like your name – did I tell you that? It’d be nice to hear you say it aloud. Fine, I’ll tell you my favorite, but I expect a very incriminating secret in return.

P.S. “Breathing is easy, but living is hard. When people ask about your life, they never ask about your temperature, your last meal, or how well you slept. They ask about your sweat, your thoughts and your actions. I want my actions to count.”    

Setting down your pen, you stare at his quote.

You didn’t even need to reference the words; you’d already memorized them. It’s an annotation Yoongi wrote in Part I of On the Road. It had struck you at the time, part of the reason you kept flipping pages. Most people write dutifully, a train of thought which rarely amounts anything. Not Yoongi. 

Returning the book to its shelf, you wonder if this is what you wanted all along. To know more about the man who wrote such beautiful words.

The entire bus ride home, you stare out the window. It’d be nice if you were courageous enough to do something like leave Yoongi your number. The idea of it brings heat to your cheeks and again, you tell myself you don’t know him. Yoongi could be seventy years old, or not interested in women, or an ax murderer. Leaning your head to the glass, you continue to stare at the streets which pass by.

Realizing something, you straighten in your seat. There’s an easy solution to all this. You could simply go to the library early. You could camp by the shelf and wait for Yoongi to appear. Even if you decide not to speak to him, at least you’d know what he looks like. Mind made up, your eyelids flutter shut. Tomorrow, you’ll head into work early.

The next morning, you skip class. Heart racing, you duck in the side door of the library, scared someone will recognize you and call out your name. It’d be awkward for Yoongi to recognize you before you can recognize him. Wandering further in, you choose a table directly facing Row AQ. I wait. Pulling out your binders, you pretend to study when in actuality, you’re peering over your book at the shelves.

No one comes.  

Minutes, hours pass and you sit there in silence, growing more and more impatient. Maybe Yoongi comes to the library later than you originally thought. Possibly he leaves before 4:00 pm (the start of my shift), but arrives after – you glance at your watch and feel your heart sink. 3:30. You must have missed him. Or, maybe Yoongi just isn’t coming by today.

Wearily, you stand and begin gathering your things. Halfheartedly, you decide to check the book but are halfway down the aisle when you notice it’s gone. Nearly tripping over yourself in your haste to be closer, your hands brush the shelves, but there’s nothing to find. 

High and low, you search for a book that’s not there. Groaning out loud, you run a hand through your hair. The only thing you can think is someone on the library staff rearranged the shelves before your arrival.

That, or Yoongi moved the book.

Warily, you consider this option. Yoongi hasn’t come in yet today, he hasn’t left you a note. Maybe your last note was too much and you scared him off. Maybe, Yoongi could tell that you liked him – maybe he saw you’re enamored with a total stranger, completely freaking him out, so he ran.

Swallowing hard, you realize it’s almost time for your shift. Holding your things tightly to your chest, you berate myself for imagining this to be more. It’s not as though you and Yoongi are friends, it’s not like you were actually flirting. 

Still, his notes have become the highlight of your week and the thought of their absence pains you more than you can articulate.

Rounding the corner, your feet come to a stop. You stare, confused by the sight of On the Road placed in the middle of your desk. The cover is unmistakable, bright red and completely out of place. Slowly, you lower your bag to the ground, taking a step forward and running a finger along its spine.

You notice the last page has been folded and when you open the book, your heart starts to race.

I haven’t told anyone this yet, but I’m falling for a girl I’ve never met.

Someone clears his throat from behind and you whirl, nearly dropping the book in the process. 

A guy stands several feet away, staring at you with wide eyes. He’s handsome; medium height and build, with delicate features. His hair is silver – dyed, you think – and slightly reflective in the light. In his hands, the guy is holding a black knit beanie.

“You,” you blurt, realizing who he is. “I almost knocked you over when I ran off of the bus.”

Yoongi nods, somewhat incredulous. “I thought I recognized you.”

Placing the book down on your desk, you take a slow step forward. “You didn’t come to the library this morning,” you say, your eyes narrowing. “I waited for you.”

His upper lip quirks. “I came earlier,” Yoongi explains. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m... Yoongi, by the way.”

You watch him move closer. “I know. I’m Y/N.”

“Hm. What do you know.” Yoongi scans my face. “I like the way you say your name.”

“That’s my line,” you say, crossing your arms. A faint smile takes over your face. “I should have known you were a thief, in addition to vandal.”

Yoongi grins. “Slander,” he murmurs, his eyes large and dark. Silver hair falls into his gaze as he exhales. “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to get over you being here. You’re just so…”

“Short?”

“Beautiful.”

You’re grateful then, that you’re in a library. It means the space between you is hushed, the people around you infinitely quiet. You hear every word Yoongi says and you feel when something careful settles into place between you. 

“Did you mean it?” you ask, swallowing your hesitancy. “What you wrote?”

He’s falling for someone he’s never met.

Yoongi nods again. “Did you really like my writing?”

You nod back. “Yes. Very much so.”

You stand there for a while, looking at one another. At least, you do until Yoongi smiles and you realize what could possibly be more beautiful than his words. 

“Then,” he teases, his eyes bright with humor. “I propose a deal. I’ll pay the library back for the book I destroyed if you’ll go on a date with me.”

You laugh, a touch nervous when he takes a step closer. “But what would you get?”

“That’s simple,” Yoongi says. “I’ll get you on a date. What do you say?”

A slow smile spreads across your face. “I’d say thank you for defacing public property.”

Author’s Note: Er. This is a one shot. LOL - I hope you enjoy!

[3,000 Followers Drabble Game Master List]

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #87

“i wanted more than life could ever grant me.”

if you could would you take back your last kiss?  i sure would. is the last person you kissed, going to be the next person you kiss? definitely not. how long was your longest make out?  like... hours. if you told someone how far have you have gone with the opposite sex, how would others view you? honestly? i'd be called a prude by most. do you think love lasts forever? not always where will you go for your next holiday? mom wants to go to tennessee to see my brother. where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?  i don't recall. how many colleges did you attend?  two what are your thoughts on gas prices?   i've seen worse. it's been over $4 once. does your shirt have buttons? no. what was the name of your first boyfriend? aaron do you ever get carsick?  i never have. do you ever read things you wrote as a kid? what were you like? oh my god... i haven't in a long, long time because i was so cringey. would you be content to turn out just like your mom?  no, honestly. if humans could have their eyes be any color in the world, which color would you want? hmmm... purple, maybe? red? pink? do you think it’s possible for an 18 year old to be ready to get married? honestly? no. you need to mature more before you make that dedication. ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor or vise-versa? yes, actually. ever been kissed by someone you didn’t want to kiss?  see above. have you ever given or received an obvious hickey? not too obvious. but that doesn't mean it wasn't seen lol o o p s where did you lose your virginity, if you have? i haven't. does it snow where you live? like once every other year. what flavor was the last ice cream you ate? chocolate would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? beach, i guess. do you like folk rock? no. do you hate it when people post statuses on facebook like “today was amazing” “i’m off to bed”? "i'm off to bed" particularly annoys me. because no one cares. do you like the show "drake and josh"? SO MUCH who’s your favorite disney princess and why? i'm not really certain, but i'd say jasmine. it was ariel when i was a kid. do you like celery and peanut butter? i hate celery. do you like pulp-y orange juice? i can't drink orange juice with pulp in it. i gag. do you still have your tonsils? yes. do you prefer the old or new willy wonka film? i prefer the new one. do you think cow tipping is funny or cruel? very, very cruel did your high school principal know you by name? i highly doubt it. what’re your greatest weaknesses? i'm not confident at all. what about your greatest strengths? i guess that i'm dedicated? are you in love and if so, are you in a relationship with them? sadly i am not dating mark fischbach lmao if you had to choose, what would you say your favorite thing to do is? write or play games. what’s your biggest passion? meerkats and mark are pretty much tied. i am a sad human being. what or who is the most important thing or person in your life? probably my mom. when was the last time you felt particularly depressed? when i had a ptsd breakdown like a month ago. who’s your favorite person? i have said his name too many times in this survey lol what’s your biggest ambition? go to the kalahari desert and photograph meerkats. assuming you ever liked pokemon, which one is your favorite? ninetales! have you ever collected cards of any kind? pokemon cards as a kid. do you honestly have any feelings at ALL for anyone? i'll always have "feelings" for him. but that doesn't mean i love him anymore. if you could go back to 3 years ago and live it over would you? no. because i doubt i could survive my breakup twice. do you plan to moving out within the next year? no. do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? doubt it. when is your birthday? february 5th. who are your best friends? the closest thing i have to a best friend is sara. what do you think about people who cheat? they're pretty low to do such a thing. when angry, do you get loud or quiet? i can do one or the other. have you ever been in a secret relationship? kinda. ever been in a car accident? yes. are you afraid of the dark? no. are you a good driver? no. i'm too anxious to be a good driver. who do you wish you would never see again? why? rachel, and because i'm sure she's still a motherfucking bitch. have you ever experimented with drugs? which type and what happened? no, and i don't plan to. what’s your greatest insecurity? my weight. now that i'm off abilify though, i'm losing quite a bit. have you ever been hospitalized? what for? yes, for suicide attempts and being suicidal. how long does it take for you to take a shower? not even 15 minutes. i don't understand how people can take such long showers?? like do your shit and get out. do you like the smell of gasoline? fuck no. gives me a headache. how many kids do you want to have? i only ever want furry and scaly babies. have you eaten an apple today? no. i doubt i'm ever gonna be able to eat one again comfortably, though, now that my lip's re-pierced in the middle. i can't even drink from soda cans. who was your 3rd grade teacher? mrs. britt would you ever tattoo the name of a bf/gf or spouse on yourself? nope, never. how awkward are you? to the fucking max. favorite fast food joint? bojangle's. ya'll outside nc don't know what you're missing. what would you do if your ex contacted you? jason? answer him. tyler? ignore him. last time you had anal sex? never have, NEVER want to. vodka, whiskey, or rum? i wouldn't know. i'm not sure i've ever had any of them? do you know cpr? no. but i really should learn. what age would you like to have a child?  preferably never. are your parents wealthy?  hell no. your nickname? most people online call me ozz, or just my real name. pick one state you’d love to live in? utah. how many pets do you want? and of what?  more than anything, i want a ball python morph. i also want another lizard, but i'm not sure what kind. i'd love an akita inu or papillon, or maybe a saint bernard (i'd need a bigger house or yard for that, though). i also want a sphinx soooo badly. a ferret would be nice, but idk if i could handle something with so much energy. i want a lop-earred rabbit, but i know i'd best not, because their cages require sooo much maintenance. i also would like a cockatiel, but i doubt i'll ever actually get a bird. what if you stopped orgasming for the rest of your life? i honestly wouldn't care. i never have before, so i mean i could live the rest of my life without it. your favorite breakfast food? pancakes. but they have to be well-made pancakes. is the last person you kissed a virgin?  probably not. have you ever let someone be your everything?  yeah. don't ever do that. do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance? nope. last person you kissed?  tyler. regrettably. what is the last song you heard? the acoustic version of "another song about the weekend" by ad2r are you nice to everyone?  i try to be, but i guess realistically i'm not. do you crack your knuckles a lot?  i never do. they don't crack. is the taste of beer good to you? never tried it, never want to. the smell is awful enough. do you think extensions look fake? sometimes. are you high? never been high. compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? WAAAAAY happier. is there a girl that knows everything about you? i don't think so, no. have you ever played slender?  the phone app, yes. never got into it. do you find it offensive when people use terms like retard?  honestly, yes. maybe it's stupid, but it's a personal trigger of mine. i just think it's very rude how often that term is misused. retardation is not a joke. do you have a weak stomach? nah. what age group do you find the most annoying?  like 12-15. do you believe in evolution? nope. do you prefer listening to music out loud or through headphones? headphones. do you think that you’re smart? i used to. i was an a student in school, only sometimes getting a b in high school. idk whatever happened. do you read creepy pasta? if not, you should. nope. "never say never," do you prefer the one by justin bieber or the fray? the fray, of course. have you ever vandalized? no. have you ever felt you were the “random face in the yearbook”?   of course. what is your religion?  creationist christian which do you remember more: insults? or compliments?  insults, definitely. do you like eating chocolate covered cherries or strawberries?  strawberries, yes.  well actually... i did try chocolate-covered cherries once, and they were fine.   but it's weird, because i hate cherries? ever had a really scary dream? tell me about it.   i'd rather not.  my two worst nightmares ever include my dad, and they happened after the divorce. would you rather have pasta or chicken?   pasta. what's your favorite flower?   not entirely sure of my all-time favorite flower anymore.  i adore tiger lilies, and roses with a peach-pink gradient are absolutely wonderful. do you like spaghetti?  i love spaghetti. pick one: apples or oranges?   apples.  i hate oranges.  too bitter. what do you like better: sour or sweet candy?   if i had to pick, sour. would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually?  i mean totally honest, i don't have much to hide, but i still wouldn't. would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?  lip, which is pierced. do you have an attitude?   i can. would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?   no.  i'm not that petty. do you wear a ring on your finger?  on my right ring finger. what’s the last kind of soup you ate?   don't know.  i don't really like soup. so, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3 am, do you let them in?  nope. does it bother you when people smoke around you?  very much. ever kissed a smoker?   no, and i refuse to. honestly - have you ever written something on a bathroom stall?   nope. are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child?   middle do you like the ocean?  yes, but i'm also scared of it. what do/did you normally get detentions for?   i only ever got detention for too many tardies. are your ears gauged?   no.  i don't like ear gauges. are you moving soon?   no.  we just moved like two months ago. if you could move (and SERIOUSLY think about this) where would you move?  to the mountains of nc. have you ever cut your own hair?   nope. have you ever had a close friend/family member die?  a close family friend, rather.  i was a child and didn't fully "get" that she was totally gone. did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger?   yep.  it was covered in baby animals. what is your all time favorite band?   if i had to pick only one and one alone, it's always going to be ozzy osbourne. what time does your dad usually wake up in the morning?   i don't live with my dad. how many prescription pills have you tried?   i don't like how this is worded.  like... i haven't "tried" anything in that sense.  i've been prescribed like around 20 in my whole life. do you know anyone who has died in battle?  no. when did/are you graduate high school?  2014 would you ever get an abortion?   NO. what is one word you can’t stand?  ugh.  "cunt."  i'm not even comfortable writing it. do you snore?   not to my knowledge. do you chew on straws?   no. can you blow a bubble?   yes. can you do a cart wheel?   no. can you wiggle your ears?  no. can you touch your tongue to your nose?   no. last baby you held?   ryder, my nephew. are you a flirty person?   no, generally. to you, is feeling a ‘connection’ important on the first date?  yes.  like i don't expect a massive connection, no, but you need something. do you kiss on the first date?   nope. m&ms or skittles?  usually skittles. are you the kind of person that takes pictures with a drink in your hand?   nope. is the thing you regret the most unspeakable?  i mean not really.  but i still don't talk about it. if you HAD to change your eye color what would it be to?  green. here’s $500, what do you spend it on?   a tattoo, probably. would you rather be librarian or a stripper?  librarian.  under no circumstance would i be a stripper. are you comfortable with your height?   sure. have you ever been stung by a bee?   no, actually. hottest teacher you ever had?   mr. sarina *swoons*  ... funny story, he got charged for having sexual relations with a minor some years later lmao do you have a house key?   yeah. does your house have a fireplace?   no. are there ever tornadoes where you live?   super rarely do you like watermelons more or cherries?   i honestly don't like either.  but if i had to pick, watermelon. do you think you are an argumentative person?   definitely not. was the last person you kissed physically attractive?   if you want honesty, no. can you listen to music and read at the same time?   only if it's instrumental. do you know anyone that owns horses?   yes. do any medical afflictions run in your family?   high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression, and bipolarity, schizophrenia, and cancer are in question. what’s your favorite mexican dish?   i hate mexican food. have you ever been to a professional sports game?   hockey, yes. how far do you live from new york city?   at least 10-11 hours. do you prefer pads, tampons or something else?   tampons.  i can't do pads.  i don't want to wear a bloody diaper. how many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had?   only one that was serious.  one less-than-24-hours misunderstanding, one puppylove, and tyler... fuck dude idk what he was.  i'm not even comfortable calling him a boyfriend. what’s the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend?  jason. do you clean your ears daily?   not daily, no. what’s the best job you’ve ever had?   i've never had an evenly remotely good job. how about the worst?  dollar store cashier.  holy fuck no. have you ever visited someone in prison?   no.  and i wouldn't be able to, if they were justly convicted. do you own any animal print clothes?   no. do you like chick-flicks?   sometimes. favorite funny movie?   "white chicks" omgggg what is your favorite kind of berry?  strawberry do you have any tattoos? tell me about them.  my first is a semicolon butterfly that is tribute to both the semicolon and butterfly projects.  my second is "perfectly flawed," which is an otep song that tends to make me feel a bit better when i'm down.  my third is "ohana," but the "o" and a slanted semi-circle thing makes a heart.  my most recent is the quote "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" with a crescent moon-ish shape behind it. have you ever had casual sex?   fuck no. do you drink diet or regular soda?   regular.  diet sodas give me a headache. have you ever been to europe?   no, but i would fucking love to. do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices?   you mean like, v8?  i like the fruit ones.  i can guarantee i'd hate the vegetable ones. have you ever blocked someone on facebook? why?  yep, and because she was verbally threatening me. were your grandparents present when you were born?  i don't know. have you ever played the game angry birds?   no. do you own any jewelry containing your birthstone?   yes. what condiments do you like on hamburgers?  a little bit of ketchup and mustard. are you claustrophobic?  in 90% of situations, yes as fuck. around what time do you usually eat dinner?  as early as 5:30 to like 8:00.  whenever mom makes something. do you like foods with coconut in it?   no. do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked?   i hate carrots. did you play with legos as a kid?  no, but i did play with lincoln logs. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick?   bananas.  i get heartburn from hell itself almost immediately. have you ever visited your country’s capital city?  no, but we've driven very close to it while driving up to new york. what’s your favorite kind of mint? (peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.)   peppermint have you ever been to ohio?   yes.  dad's family is there. what is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? scotland. is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous?   flat. have you ever logged onto a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush’s social media account?   nope. have you ever had a eating disorder?   no, thankfully. how many proms have you been to in your life?   two. do you like polar bears?   yeah! do you know who your latest ex is dating?   i don't know and don't care who he's dating, if he is at all. have you ever had bronchitis?   no. are you afraid of snakes?   not at all.  i mean i'd obviously give a venomous snake its space because i don't want to die, but in general, snakes don't scare me. when’s the last time you saw a rat?   not since i had pet rats. what is your ringtone?   "telescope" by starset.  it's about time i changed it, but getting music onto my phone is such a bear. what’s your favorite symbol/character associated with halloween? (black cats, ghosts, bats, etc)   BATS! what’s your favorite gemstone?   dragon's breath opal. is that also your birthstone?   no.  my birthstone is amethyst.

[whateverhappenedpodcast]

Ep 1 Transcript

Older!Penny: I think I knew something was off when I first got on the bus to the summer camp. It wasn’t an overwhelming feeling. Just...a small nagging in the back of my mind. A voice telling me ‘Something’s happening. Something’s there’. Of course, I was me. I didn’t listen to nagging. I didn’t listen to anyone, or anything. Maybe that’s what my downfall was.

Older!Penny: I’m 21 now. It’s been 5 years since the incident at Sunny Shores Summer Camp. I don’t think I’ve been able to find closure. Not completely. Just like the nagging that I felt on that bus, I feel a nagging now. A different sort. A ‘You can’t forget. You can’t forget’. And I can’t, not really. There’s always going to be a part of me that never left Gold Lake, and I’m never going to get it back.

Older!Penny: The events that brought me to Sunny Shores weren’t unusual. It was a camp for troubled kids- though that was never specified, the fact of the matter was that parents had grown tired of handling their teens, and instead sent them off on this trip. In a way, I suppose, this was their fault. In another way, it was our own.

Older!Penny: I was, in fact, what one would consider a troubled kid. I won’t try to deny it. As I said, I didn’t listen to anyone. I think it was mostly for attention. As an only child, I did get most of the attention my parents had to offer. We were rich, which meant I got toys and dolls and cool shit. After a while, though, they got bored of me. I decided to make things interesting.

Older!Penny: Most of the time, I set shit on fire. Vandalism was also a favorite. I did a lot of other things as well, though. Drugs and cigarettes were my only limits.

Older!Penny: My attitude back then isn’t what bothers me. I think my actions, the ones that brought me there, were some what justified, though still wrong. However, what does bother me is that no one knows. No one truly knows anyone that was at that camp during the summer of ‘13. No one knows what we went through. What we had to do.

Older!Penny: These recordings won’t fix that. I don’t think anything will. But maybe this can help with closure. So, I’ve-

[ getting a little emotional at this point ]

Older!Penny: I’ve strung together this. My recordings from the camp. My thoughts now. All that shit. Maybe this’ll do something for me. Maybe it won’t. I guess the only way to figure it out is to do it.

[ click ]

[ click ]

Penny: Hello listeners! I say that because you’ll never know who’s listening in the future. Who knows? Maybe archaeologists will dig this up one day as a relic of the past. They’ll be listeners, right?

Penny: Anyway, I’m on my way to camp what's-its-name. Sunny Shores, I think? Doesn’t look very sunny out to me right now. Pretty dreary, actually. It’s raining pretty hard, so no outdoorsy things when we get there. It’s sort of a shame. I’m here for the whole summer, though, so I’m sure I’ll get to go hiking at some point.

Penny: Oh, shit, I should specify what it is. It’s basically a camp for rich troublemakers. The cabins have air conditioning and rooms. It’s pretty sweet, from what I’ve heard. It’s by a lake, too. I don’t see how it’s a punishment, really. I mean, sure, they take away your phone, but it still sounds fun? Parents must just want a break, not a punishment.

Penny: Oops, gotta sign off. We’re here. Talk to you later, listeners!

[ click ]

[ click ]

Older!Penny: Storms are always a sign of bad times in Shakespearean works. It’s a symbol of death and trouble. Of course, I kept fiction to fiction back then, and didn’t apply it to real life. Why would I? I had enough of shakespeare in essays back at school. I didn’t want to bring it into anything I didn’t have to. Besides, the plays weren’t real. Fate wasn’t real. ‘Wasn’t’ is a key term.

Older!Penny: I hadn’t realized, back then, that life wasn’t just a series of events that, in the end, wouldn’t affect you. I was breezing through; anything that happened, anything I did, anything I got reprimanded for didn’t matter. In the end, it’d be okay. No matter what I did, I’d be okay.

Older!Penny: I hadn’t had a wake-up call about how the world works. That you can’t do things and expect it not to hurt you in the future. Everything hurts you. I know that now. The friends you make hurt you. The things you say hurt you. Some things? Some things like that you can get through. But other things, they stick with you, like scars. You can forget about them for a bit, but in the end, they’re still there.

Older!Penny: Every action I had made, every word I had said up until that point had brought me there. Every knocked-over trash can, every art piece that sat on the side of a abandoned building led to that point. It led to a hurt that I couldn’t, and wouldn’t want to imagine. What makes it worse is that I don’t know which I would prefer, because now I know the story. I know the ending and I know the characters. If I had been taken away from the narrative, if I had stepped differently, there is really no telling what could have occurred. And that? That’s terrifying. Knowing that you had a direct impact on the ending is terrifying. The regret that I feel from not being different, from not running away from that camp, turns into guilt, because I can’t imagine what would happen. It’s hard to think of yourself as a side character in a bloody novel, but it’s worse to be the protagonist.

[ click ]

[ click ]

Penny: [ laughing softly to herself ]

Jenny: -Now, as I was saying before, welcome to Sunny Shores! My name is Jenny, and I’m the head counselor here, as well as owner of the camp. If you need anything, feel free to come to me. No problem is unimportant. Generally, you’ll all be able to roam around in areas that aren’t considered off-limits.

Penny: [ hushed tone ] Hey again, listeners. Welcome to day 2. We’re getting the welcome speech. I wasn’t actually expecting it to be...so welcoming. Or funny. They accidentally fell through a banner earlier.

Jenny: -and that’s about all the rules! Now, how about we have our other counselors introduce themselves?

[ silence for five seconds ]

Allie: Alright, alright, if none of YOU are going to start it off. I’m Allie Gray. I’m probably the one you can have the best time with at this camp. Don’t mess with me, though, ‘kay? And we should get along just fine.

Rio: I’m Rio Hayes. I’m paid to be here. Don’t bother me too much unless you need to.

Allie: Charming. I’m sure you get all the dates with that attitude-

Rio: Don’t you even-!

Henry: Allllright! Hi there. I’m Henry!

Jay: Well, that was an elaborate opening. Howdy! I’m Jay. I’m a plant fanatic. If you want to know about plants, I’m your person! If you want to know about anything else? Ask someone else.

Kelly: I’m Kelly. Generally, I’ll be watching the swimming area.

Jenny: And that’s all of us! We all have our own separate cabins, at different parts of the camp. So, wherever you are, one of us will be close by! You’re dismissed now!

Penny: That’s not creepy at all. None of them seem like the responsible role-model type. Anyway, I’m signing off for the moment. Bye, listeners!

[ click ]

[ click ]

Older!Penny: They were not, in fact, responsible role-models. Hardly. Jenny was probably the only semi-responsible one there who could take care of more people than just herself. Allie was too self-centered and reckless. She held a prejudice towards everyone in that camp. It wasn’t her fault. In the end, though...

Older!Penny: It didn’t help her. Rio was, probably, the next most-responsible one after Jenny. However, he drove most of us- the campers -away. He was watching from afar. Somehow he was still near the center of all this.

Older!Penny: Henry wasn’t responsible, but he wasn’t irresponsible either. He sat kind of in the middle; a good point between Jenny and Allie. Jay was too wild. Kelly stuck to the rules too much. Everyone had flaws. They ended up being a distraction for all of us.

Older!Penny: I should probably mention that the next tape skips quite a bit of time. There were originally more than the recordings I’m showing you presently. That would be because I destroyed the rest. I don’t regret it. I feel they would give a false sense about what I’m actually trying to show here.

Older!Penny: All you need to know is that, during that time, I met two people: Gabriel Lessly and Debra O’Donnell. These two were, by far, my best friends at the camp. We quickly connected over random stuff, and were attached by the hip for the entirety of our experience.

Older!Penny: Gabriel was about the sweetest kid you could ever meet. He was excitable and curious. We shared those traits. He was, however, also polite in some sense of the word. We did not share that trait.

Older!Penny: Debra was a know-it-all, but kept us out of trouble. She was probably the best person there for that job. She was the ever-present voice of reason.

Older!Penny: Their personalities did factor into this story. However, that’s not all this is about. This is about remembering. If I’m being honest, I’m scared to forget what they were like. That summer may have left scars, but some of them I don’t want to get rid of.

[ A sigh from Penny before she continues. ]

Older!Penny: This next recording is where it all begins. If this were a novel, this would be the beginning of the tale. Technically, it started long before this point, but without this? A lot of things wouldn’t have happened. The summer of ‘13 would’ve be different, and that’s not to say in a good way.

[ click ]

[ click ]

Penny: Hey, listeners. The weather finally cleared up enough that the group and I are going hiking! Day 6, baby! We’re heading over to Dock B- we’re not exactly supposed to go there, but it isn’t as if any of the counselors pay attention.

Gabriel: They’re too busy smooching!

Debra: Gabriel!

Penny: [ laughing ]

Gabriel: It’s true! Henry and Rio have been REALLY affectionate. It’s weird.

Debra: Leave them be.

Penny: An-y-way, back on topic, guys. Again, Dock B. Where we’re heading! We’re hiking out, and then going swimming.

Gabriel: I heard that’s the last place they saw JG.

Penny: Same here, same here.

Debra: You’re both ridiculous. He just went home, you know that.

Penny: Oh, come on! Summer camp murder mystery? Doesn’t that sound interesting? It sounds like a Hardy Boys novel! Or Nancy Drew.

Gabe: Yea, Deb! Plus, you’d totally be Nancy.

Penny: It’s true. We’d be the Hardy Boys. You get Nancy.

Debra: There’s no murder! You two are just going off of boredom at this point, aren’t you?

Penny: I wouldn’t say boredom. I like hiking. It’s fun. But I still think a mystery would be cool.

Debra: I love mysteries, but I don’t think there is one.

Penny: Fine, fine. Anyway, how close are we?

Debra: We should be close by.

Penny: Sweet. I can’t wait to get in the water! It’s gonna be better than with the OTHER kids at this place.

Gabe: No kidding. I don’t think they like us much.

Debra: That would be because Penny stole one of their backpacks.

Penny: Not my fault they left it laying around. I was hungry. I saw chips in it. Cut me some slack.

Debra: It doesn’t change the fact that-

[ Penny trips and falls; crumpling of leaves and bushes is heard as she does. ]

Debra: Penny! Are you okay?

Penny: I’m fine, I just tripped over this-

Penny: A backpack. And a journal.

Debra: . . . It looks like you’ll get your mystery after all.

Penny: What?

Debra: Penny, turn off the recorder. I have a feeling you won’t want it on.

[ click ]

[ click ]

Older!Penny: And Debra was right. I wouldn’t want it on. That was because this was the point we picked up Jonathan Green’s journal. The one thing that, if he had left of his own accord, he would have brought with him. Along with it, we found a ripped up back-pack.

Older!Penny: During the beginning of that summer, I had been desperately wishing for something exciting to happen. Something that happened in books when kids went to summer camp. I wanted to have an experience I would never forget.

Older!Penny: As they say, be careful what you wish for. After this point, I got what I wanted- a bonafide Nancy Drew mystery. However, things like that are worse in real life than they are when reading. The concept of such is obvious to me now, but for some reason didn’t make sense to me when I was younger.

Older!Penny: And so, this started the mystery of Sunny Shores camp. It was a never-ending downward spiral. As soon as we found one thing out, another puzzle would replace it. It would start out simple, like a game. It would slowly get worse.

Older!Penny: It seems almost to foolish to think that a question started it all. A question that we were all so inspired and intrigued by. Even Debra O’Donnell and her cautious mind had taken an interest.

Older!Penny: It’s a question I’ve been resentful of this whole time. Something I wish, sometimes, we had never asked ourselves in the first place. However, it can be considered a good thing that we looked into it. Who could say what would’ve happened if we hadn’t? Still, even with that, I have the selfish resentment. We were just a bunch of dumb kids. We didn’t know what we were doing.

Older!Penny: The question would soon infect the minds of everyone at that camp when we went back and started our ‘investigation’, if you could even call it that. There wouldn’t be one person NOT affected by it. That question that had such a simple answer, but has a bunch of shit tied to it.

Older!Penny: Whatever happened to Jonathan Green?

[hecticquarter-blog]

Roberto Reyes

Introduction

                 Roberto Reyes is a venue manager at a creative youth center in Downtown Albuquerque named Warehouse 508. 508 caters to youth 6-20 and provides classes for various art forms and hobbies, is a working indoor skatepark, has a screen-printing facility, a music studio for recording, and a stage for performances. Roberto Reyes has been a student, instructor, and now manager of 508. Reyes has a background in photography, mural arts, screen-printing, and digital design. As an active member of the community, Reyes works with youth at 508 to help build their art-form and performance skills. This interview discusses his personal experiences with working at a venue, as well as his perspectives on some of the issues happening in the community and country.

Interview

What is your name? - Roberto Reyes

What is your job description? - Venue manager. I’m in charge of the facilities at Warehouse 508, booking shows, making sure classes are ready for instruction, and making sure all youth at 508 are safe and sound.

What is your favorite part of your job? - Working with youth and seeing them accomplish their dreams and learning new skills or hanging out here. I love seeing them.

When you were younger what was your dream job? - I wanted to be a doctor when I was really little (like Kindergarten).

What changed your mind? - Seeing new possibilities and discovering other ways to help people. At one point I wanted to be a comedian and then another time until now I just wanted to be a full time artist.

What kind of art do you do? - I paint murals and do graphic design, photography, screen-printing. (Pictured with a mural Reyes worked on)

How does your background play a role in your job today? - It comes from very alternative field of employment and I think when youth want to pursue an art career, you know, i.e being music or photography any of those you need have a really good idea and to be very versatile at your art work so that you know you can make a living off of it because you know you won’t be a Rockstar or superstar at it but you can still run sound, still do lighting, still be a tour manager. Opening the door for different possibilities and opening the door when it comes to art and music.

What classes offered at Warehouse 508 are your favorite? - Let’s see, I really enjoy mural arts of course, that’s what I started doing here, I was a student and then I became an instructor, I have a really important place in my heart for that class because it’s very open and a lot of youth kind of can learn a lot from it from critical thinking to learning how to use a spray can to learning the history of art and mural painting, even hip-hop history as well.

What do you like to see most in stage performances? - I like to see the appreciation of your crowd and I like when the artist speaks to their crowd a little bit and feeds off the vibe of the crowd

What’s the difference that you see in the youth that come out of Warehouse 508 and are successful with their art-form compared to those who are not? -  Some of them are extremely driven and what I found here is that they’re really true to themselves. They don’t falter to what their message is and they whole heartedly believe in it. I think that’s the important message of Albuquerque and New Mexico because we are so isolated. They’re not trying to be the next rapper the next big rapper, they have the space to be who they are, their own musician, they don’t have a preset notion of what is good and what is bad. It’s harder to be an actual musician and to “blow up” from a place like Albuquerque.

What do you see brings in the most people to shows? – From what I’ve seen, building an audience that can follow you, of course there is social media but the best bet is live interaction and shows. People don’t realize here that the best is diversity, rap and rock groups coming together makes cross pollinating. Have a edm dj with a singer song writer and maybe an emcee or whatever but I think it the best to have cross pollination of crows because everyone here likes everything and if they do I don’t see them being not open to other genres of music.

What hip hop artists are your favorites?- As far as top five rappers I think Rappers- The Roots are number one, so black thought is number one spot. Then it’ll be probably like Nas, Kendrick Lamar, Calle13 they’re a perutorican rap group, and Lauren Hill and I think she should’ve been higher haha.

Which of the four pillars of hip-hop is your favorite? - Um I would say graph-writing, it’s called writing in the hip-hop community. Graffiti is something used to remind of us vandalism. Like how breakdancing is the mainstream term but we like to call it B-boying within the hip-hop community. Rappers is the mainstream names but it’s actually emceeing.

What do you see that holds kids back the most? - A variety of things, but the most is just self-doubt and not willing to make mistakes or screw up and honestly I would rather screw up in a painting than I would in real life so screw up as much as you want, then fix it.

Advice you would tell your fifteen-year-old self? - It’s funny because I did tell myself that, What I told myself is that I shouldn't play stuff football, I shouldn’t play varsity ball and I should focus on what I love and not something I don't have any love in, which wasn’t football, it wasn’t fun anymore and painting was way funnier and I saw the potential of it taking me way father than football could, which was true.

What do you think people can do as citizens to help the community in the state that it’s in right now? - I think it has a lot to do with people’s perspectives and seeing other peoples’ point of view even if it’s an opposing one; they’re being heard and looking back at how they were brought up so you can know where those kinds of thinking or thoughts stem from so you can better analyze them why they think that way. It kind humanizes a person, those thoughts they come from a specific place so you can then deconstruct their argument and help change their mind.

A lot of people coming out of high school complain about “adulting” how do you cope/ what grounds you? - First worlding as it’s called, haha. I think it’s the arts in general like could be music, visual arts, could be simply riding my bike that is most important and growing up finding out your outlets and finding a way for you to find a way to deal with really stressful situations that isn’t harmful to you because you know a lot of people turn to alcohol or drugs or self-inflicting wounds and stuff like that and youth need a way to deal with that because once you figure those things out as an adult, I’m not saying it’ll be easy but it’ll easier with positive coping mechanisms.

As an artist do you go through dry spells and how do they make you feel? - I’m actually in one right now. Honestly, I haven’t drawn anything or done anything creative for maybe the past year so because my main focus last year was to buy a home which happened in October of last year and now it’s still put me in a rut and I’m still trying to get out of it. What I need to focus on is my health so I can have energy and want to do things I want to do. Also creating a space where I can create and not just fall asleep- separating that space for creative work.

What would you tell youth that are stuck between pursuing a more conventional living and being an artist? - I think that it’s hard. That was my choice when I was younger, like become an architect and make money or do what I love as an artist and be happy and not live really well kind of scavenge, but it just depends on your position. It would be nice to say yeah go be an artist but it’s not that easy you got to get by, you might need a part time job or a full-time job to get a roof over your head but never lose your interest in the arts because that’s what makes you happy. Remember why you do it, not because you get paid for it.

At what point should a young person feel comfortable abandoning college for the sake of having enough time for other things like art or work? - Honestly- school is always going to be there, it’s not like it’s gonna go anywhere. The classes you took are still going to follow you, so you can always go back to it. Of course, the difficulty would be then paying for school, that’s always going to be there. For my personal case, it was my parents divorcing so I had to quit school completely and get a job and fend for myself or else I’d be couch surfing for a couple years while I finished school which I didn’t want to happen. I also had to make sure my mom had to a place to stay. Make the best decision with the information you have at the time. As an artist, you will benefit more than to not go to school to actually experience things rather than just reading from a book. I think when it comes to art, that’s always the situation like I’m not going to go get a Bachelor’s degree in studio arts because I’d rather just go do it than be taught from a school. And maybe it’s not bad, go to school for studio arts for a little bit, but then you learn what you needed from it and use it, actually implement it. And you always have to make that space for yourself to make art so it’s better to keep that in mind. Like my sister was a really good artist and unfortunately had a kid at a young age and that forced her to go to school and become a nurse and which now she has accomplished that as a nurse, has a great position, but you know but no longer has that in her life as drawing goes and I think she could be better off if she still had that in her life as far as her mental health and being sane I guess haha.

How do you suggest people have tolerance in the hate-filled world we live in today? - Tolerance is only to a certain extent, like I don’t want to be absolutist either because I think once someone’s ideals become actions that actually hurt people, that’s when you have to react. It’s easier to be tolerant to ideas than actually actions because they’re just inside their head. It’s not until it becomes actions when that tolerance crap goes out the window. And it’s hard, you want to be peaceful and you want to be understanding but it’s only to a certain extent.

Do you think people have the right to get violent in protesting? - Well I think when it comes to the destruction of property it depends on what the message is because whatever they’re combatting like white supremacy, has caused way more damage to actual human beings than to property. So, when people protested when Trump came here, it’s like yeah but the hatred that he was spewing at his rallies is much more hurtful than a broken window. A few burnt trashcans and a few broken windows compared to a candidate for president that’s calling for the abolishment of Mexicans and no Muslims in the country? That’s just to me insane so yeah it just depends on what the message is. Like when it comes to punching a nazi, like their deliberate existence is the eradication or genocide of an entire people so it’s like how could you be okay with that?

[jeninthebooks]

I was having trouble thinking of a way to start this post. The thing is, that last weekend was so, so special to me, and I didn’t want to sell it as less than it was. I guess I will start by saying that prior to going to Portland, I thought that my weekend would consist of me barely seeing my host family & taking a lot of Lifts.

That was not the case AT ALL. I began to realize that my trip was going to be different, when I was at the gate for my Southwest Airlines flight. I don’t know how familiar you are with Southwest, but I had never been on a flight with them before. The only reason I was this time, is because Emily had arranged my flight for me. Let me just say that it was life-changing.

From the minute I got to my gate, I was inspired. There was free WiFi & a stand for you to charge your phone (this helped me with my Thirteen Reasons Why binge). There were also these interesting columns, that I would come to learn were for organizing yourselves in a queue to board the plane. WHAT?? YOU DON’T HAVE TO STRUGGLE THROUGH A MASS OF PEOPLE TO BOARD?? CRAZINESS. I will say that I started to worry when I heard the announcer say that there were no assigned seats… I freaked looking at my boarding pass like something was wrong. I found articles, that basically told me that my seat, was a terrible one to have (end of the B group).

My fears were set aside, when I was able to find a seat at the front of the plane, between two women. I didn’t have to sit by a creepy dude (sorry to all the non-creepy dudes out there, but this is an actual fear I have. I am also sure there are many creepy ladies as well.), and was near the font, so I could get off the plane quickly. Also, let me just go back to the airline hosts for a second- outside of the plane (while you are waiting to board) and on the plane itself. They are amazing human beings! They are funny and put you at ease, real quick! They don’t seem to hate their jobs, and genuinely seem to like people. Even if they don’t, they are incredible actors.

I was also able to find a spot for my carry-on easily. THEN, when it came to the end of the C-group, there was a gentleman, who found a spot at the very front for his body, but didn’t see a place for his carry-on AT FIRST. Amazingly, he was able to switch some other’s bags into different containers (which nobody seemed to mind) and was able to fit his in, in three moves. No joke, EVERYBODY cheered for him. When the plane landed, he helped everyone in the vicinity, locate and hand them their bags. Way to go, stranger! Needless to say, this was an amazing experience. I really didn’t mean to write 4 paragraphs, on Southwest, and maybeeee this should have been a YELP review, but it was such a great opening to my weekend and needed to be shared. Everyone worked together and although, it was a bit of organized chaos, it was so so great to see such kind people willing to help each other out. It was like being on that plane created an instant bond-comparable to what Emily Arrow does, every time she brings people together. 

Smooth transition, am I right?? :) Emily surrounds herself with the best people. I always knew that, but somehow, it wasn’t really ingrained in my brain, as it was when I entered Zoey Abbott’s home. Let me start by saying that the only Lift I took the entire weekend was to get to Zoey’s home. For those of you who don’t know Zoey, she is a soon to be published illustrator, who also worked with Emily on Little Red Sled!

The minute I stepped into Zoey’s home, she was in host-mode. I also want to say, that i had LATE flight. I didn’t get to her house until a little after midnight. I was expecting to be shown to wherever I was sleeping and maybe see her in the morning? NO. Zoey wanted to know how my trip was, if I wanted wine (which she doesn’t even drink), water, if I wanted to look at picture books…it went on and on. She was incredibly funny and so lovely to talk to. I also probably bored her to death with my Kevin Henkes story. I am not trying to diss on LA hosts, but it was so enlightening to see how pumped Zoey was to host and how she didn’t seem to care what time it was. I don’t think that would have happened where I live and I was so grateful.

The next morning, after sleeping in my OWN ROOM, I was treated to a homemade breakfast! I got to meet her adorable and intelligent kids and their awesome dog Carrots. After, Zoey drove her daughter, illustrator Alison Farrell (look for her book, Cycle City in 2018!), her son and I to an amazing little restaurant called, Por Que No? If you need a recommendation on what to eat there, I had their fresh jamaica, and a Bryan’s Bowl with carne asada and chips. It was so delicious! I also loved that they had equality and “welcoming of all” signs posted everywhere. Furthermore, the thing that I keep telling everyone, when they ask me about my trip is that, they had an umbrella stand that said something to the beat of, “borrow an umbrella while you wait in line”. That still blows my mind. In LA, those umbrellas definitely would have been stolen. It’s a sad fact, but it’s the truth. We have a Little Free Library outside of Vroman’s and within the first couple months of it’s existence, someone had vandalized it. The umbrella stand was just something that showed me a huge contrast between Portland and home.

After getting to see Emily & her life mate, Alex (for the first time in months) and meeting all these wonderful new friends (Kate Berube, Karyn Lewis, Diane Adams & her sister, Danielle Davis & Deborah Hocking), we headed to Green Bean Books, which is a treasure in itself. Here is a photo of most of us, outside the store!

& here is a photo of some of us inside the store, with bookseller extraordinaire, Earl & author, Ashlyn Anstee!

We were tasked with the job of finding a book that best represented ourselves. I wish I could remember what everyone picked…the ones that I do remember, included: Hug Machine, The Lost House, Happy Dreamer, I Don’t Like Koala, This is Sadie, Love Is, Lyle Lyle Crocodile, and Chester’s Way.

Then we got a chance to discuss them all, in Green Bean Books’ wonderful patio. Here are some of the wonders I encountered while out there:

I just loved that everywhere you looked, there was something beautiful to behold. Also, Earl is an amazing bookseller. There were times, I felt like I was being put to shame because of all the new books he has managed to read! He definitely knows what he is talking about. If you are ever in Portland, I hope you get a chance to talk books with him!

I would also like to take a moment to mention that all of the awesome authors that joined in this weekend, all have super cool books out, or will be out shortly. Please see the following works of genius:

Kate Berube (inspired the Hannah & Sugar song)-My Little Half-Moon, out May 2nd! She also has the books, Hannah & Sugar & The Summer Nick Taught His Cats to Read

Danielle Davis-Zinnia and Bees, a middle grade novel, out August 1st!

Alison Farrell-Cycle City in 2018. It’s too early for info/art for it yet, but follow her on insta to *hopefully* see some in the future!

Ashlyn Anstee (inspired the No, No, Gnome! & Are We There, Yeti? songs)-Are We There, Yeti? and No, No, Gnome!, are available for purchase now!

Deborah Hocking-The Great Henry Hopendower, out June 6th! She also has the non fiction book, Build, Beaver, Build! available for purchase now!

Diane Adams (inspired the Two Hands to Love You, and Love Is, songs!)-Two Hands to Love You, Love Is and many more!

Zoey Abbott Wagner (inspired the Little Red Sled song)-Twindergarten, out June 20th & Oregon Reads Aloud, available now!

We also got to go to a lot of other cool food places during the weekend, including Pip’s Original Doughnuts (I would recommend their “The Dirty Wu”), Random Order Coffeehouse & Bakery (where I had the best chocolate cream pie) and Fire on the Mountain (in which I tried their El Jefe Challenge and failed miserably).

Do you see my little book and pencil, that I got from Green Bean Books in the photo above??

& NOW, ON TO THE REASON WE ALL CAME TO PORTLAND:

Emily’s Manager Oahn & Karin put together an incredible launch for her 2nd album, Storytime Singalong Vol. 2! Here they are below:

If their faces look sad, it’s because Emily is saying the most wonderful things about them on the other side of this photo!! #TeamArrow is a force to be reckoned with.

The launch was held at the Freemont Theatre and was just a perfect venue! Karin did so well with her choice! I’m going to try my best to explain, why this event meant so much to so many, including myself. Personally, I am so proud of Emily. She is only a little older than myself, and yet has created her own genre of music, her own business, is following her dreams and recently bought her own house. Seeing her perform her second album at the Freemont, was just the icing on the cake. I think everyone was a little teary at some point during the day. A lot of the authors present, had worked with Emily at some point and were hearing their songs live in front of a crazy big crowd. You can see it for yourself here:

It was so crazy, that at one point there didn’t seem to be a clear pathway. If you haven’t checked out Emily’s second album, it has some wonderful songs on it. They are:

Anything Can Be A Song

Explorers of the Wild Song

Hannah and Sugar Song

Be A Friend Song

Nana in the City Song

We Are Enough Song

No, No Gnome Song

I Love You Already Song

Don’t Hide Your Magic Song

Two Hands to Love You Song

And you can buy it now!

I know this post is incredibly LONG and that it seems like all I am saying is that PORTLAND IS AWESOME, EMILY IS AWESOME and ALL THESE AUTHORS AND PEOPLE ARE AWESOME. Let me tell you, THAT IS EXACTLY what I was trying to say. I just had so many words that I wanted to get out, in order to say exactly that. Could this have been edited? Probably. But hey, this is my blog. I want to thank you so much for reading and I hope that you get to hear these songs, read these books and visit this amazing city. I loved every second that I was there and with these people and won’t forget it or them. <3

Love,

Jen in the Bookstore

**A special shout out again to Zoey for hosting me, Oahn and Karin for arranging this whole thing, Emily for getting me there, and Zoey and Deborah for making sure I only had to take 1 Lift the entire weekend. **

Jen in the Bookstore Goes to Portland; How Southwest Airlines, an Emily Arrow Album Launch & a Bunch of Kind Portlanders Made My Weekend  I was having trouble thinking of a way to start this post. The thing is, that last weekend was so, so special to me, and I didn't want to sell it as less than it was.