#i also considered waiting until “object of desire” but this felt like it worked better

[toa-arania]

"Good evening, darling. I hope you slept well."

A light clicks on, and a comfortable room comes into view. Across from you, a woman you recognise sits with one leg crossed over the other, glass of wine in hand. As you properly come to, you realise you've been handcuffed to a chair. Of course she has handcuffs.

"You must have so many questions. I can't answer all of them, but you deserve an explanation of sorts. I'm sorry to tell you it won't ever leave this room. I don't suppose you know what I am, do you? I should hope not. My… contemporaries, let's call them, wouldn't like that. I'm sure you'll work it out as we go."

She hums in amusement as she watches you struggle. If there's emotion in those eyes, you can't see it. Just that inscrutable fucking smile she always wears.

"Tell me something, darling - do you consider yourself to be cruel? I won't judge you. Under the circumstances, it's hardly my place. But it interests me. Many people like us don't think of themselves as cruel. We do what we must in order to stay on top. To maintain the way of things. Some would say that is cruel. Some would call it natural. What do you think, hm?"

She gestures at you expectantly. When you don't answer, she rolls her eyes. She stands, starting to wander around the room. She downs her wine with practiced, showy technique. It doesn't even seem to affect her. She walks back towards you slowly, as if trying to build anticipation for something.

"Personally, I try not to be cruel. I'm very careful, you see, about a great many things. I maintain my life as the Silver Siren with the utmost precision. The picture of decorum and style. Worthy of my name and reputation. The same goes for my "other" life. After all, I have many responsibilities; Mistress Harpy of Bristol, Whip of Clan Ventrue... I suppose you don't know what any of those words mean, darling. I must be perfectly composed. Utterly unflappable. I take pride in it, and even greater care. A single mistake could be my undoing in more ways than one. I've had my brushes with the edge of grace, but I've never fallen, and that is because I show restraint."

She tilts your chin up with the tip of her finger. You aren't sure why you don't resist. She gives another one of those hums and walks around behind you, trailing her finger along your shoulders and behind your neck.

"That must not sound that difficult to you, darling. You mortals have to keep your tempers in check all the time. It's different for us. Inside every one of us, even me, there is a Beast. A cruel, savage monster, an urge to harm, wound, torture. An instinct that, if you allow it, will define you. Many of my kind bow to it often, and allow it to dictate their lives. Some are even subsumed by it entirely. I survive and I build my life by taming it. By controlling it."

She runs a fingernail up your neck. It's strangely gentle, given your treatment so far. You struggle again, and she presses just a little harder into the base of your skull. She almost breaks skin before she steps back into your view, caressing your cheek.

"You know, darling, there are many people I see who enjoy pain, and I'm all too happy to facilitate that. Those little tastes help me satiate my Beast… but they aren't enough, truly. I must still show restraint when I feed. The Kiss makes it simple so long as I do not lose control. But constant discipline is not possible, darling. If I try, the Beast will claw its way out and I will lose myself to it. Every so often I need something a little more... indulgent."

There's a different look in her eyes now. She hides it well, but her self control is slipping. You see hunger. Ravenous, barely suppressed hunger. When she opens her mouth, you could swear you see fangs that weren't there before.

"I try not to be cruel, darling. I do not kill, for my own safety. I follow my ambition but I do not inflict suffering without purpose... and yet when I allow myself to punish someone, I relish it like nothing else. If it's any comfort, I've enjoyed our trysts these last few months. It isn't your fault that your disappearance will simply be blamed on your rivals. This truly is nothing against you; I just need someone. I respect you enough to give you one last gift."

She leans in close to whisper in your ear.

"I will make your agony beautiful."

[sanctity-in-sexuality]

What do you think about a couple going into a marriage with the intent to immediately start practicing NFP? My boyfriend and I have been discussing our future plans and considered the idea of delaying the first child for maybe about a year or so in order to have time to focus on getting settled into a new home/anticipated career changes and to build a strong financial foundation. We would absolutely be open to life and so NFP wouldn't be something to be anal over; even if we conceived a child immediately upon getting married, we would be eager and capable of supporting them, but we just thought that it may be wise to wait a little because life would be very hectic with lots of major changes at once if that happened. We know one couple who has done this exact plan and the husband reports that it worked perfectly for them. But we also have a trusted unmarried friend who strongly advised that starting off a marriage on NFP isn't great because you'd ideally don't want to be "holding back" anything once you get married, and that NFP should be the exception rather than the rule. We talked to our priest as well and he said that while there's nothing wrong with it in that you wouldn't incur sin, he also agreed that there's significant merit in NOT starting off on that note. We are not insistent on the idea to begin with and are both very open to this perspective as well, but I'm curious to hear more people's thoughts on this, especially from married persons. Thank you!

Hello,

The priest has the right idea. Your reasons can be prudential and justified, but it is turning down a potential opportunity for sanctification that might benefit you in other ways. Imo, this is a situation in which there is an objectively best option, and then an inferior but still acceptable option that might be subjectively best for your current state in life.

My husband and I actually did something very similar to what you described. We got married shortly after graduating college and agreed that we would like to avoid pregnancy for the first year-ish in order to create a good, solid foundation of marriage before bringing kids into the picture. Namely, both of us settling into our first professional jobs, building good habits together, learning how to balance marriage with post-college adult life, and establishing a Catholic community in a new city so that we wouldn't become isolated once we had a baby. It worked out well for us. (Unfortunately, we did end up having to wait an additional year for unrelated health reasons).

Now, having a baby right away within our first year would be a kind of trial by fire that would have afforded enormous opportunity to grow together spiritually and test our trust in God, and perhaps objectively this would be best. However, we didn't feel like we were in the right space spiritually or mentally at that time to handle that level of challenge in a healthy manner, so avoiding was subjectively the better option for us until we felt better equipped. This was after a lot of careful thought and discussion.

Deciding whether to avoid or conceive requires prudence and should rarely be an easily-made decision. If you ultimately decide that is better for your family to wait initially, as you have outlined, my main advice to do so healthily is to revisit the decision with every cycle, and do not let it become the assumed "default". If you decide to avoid, it should be for the overall well-being of the whole family (e.g. not just so you can go on extra vacations). Avoiding conception specifically should feel at least a little bit like a personal sacrifice - denying something you desire (a child) for the time being in the name of overall family well-being. And you should be actively working to fix/overcome the obstacles that are proving a justifiable impediment (e.g. seeking counseling for mental health).

So long as you are open to life should it come unexpectedly, fully intend to have children, and are actively working to make that possible under prudent circumstances, you are fine.

God bless!

[todoscript]

how he would ask you out

request: pls some headcanons of how the boys (shinsou/tamaki/shouto) would ask the girl they like out 🥺

characters: shinsou hitoshi, amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto

genre: fluff

word count: 3.3k+ total, 900-1200 per character

tags: pining, confessions, fem!reader

author’s notes: sorry if this sounds rushed?? i can’t write 

copyright 2021 todoscript, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

two years after his enrollment into the hero course, shinsou had finally came to terms with the feelings he’s been holding for you for quite some time now.

what began as just friendly encounters and kind gestures felt like something more to him. after all, you were one of the key people that led him to transition smoothly into the class, with your helpful demeanor and coming to his aid whenever he was stressed and troubled by the new environment.

you went out of your way to organize study sessions and small arrangements to mingle and get to know the other students better.

you reiterated to him that if he ever had any questions about anything, he could always come to you.

initially, shinsou thought he was being a burden—that he was just heavy baggage that tied you down.

however, you assured he was anything but, and stated that you were more than happy to help him, even going to say you enjoyed spending time and getting to learn more about him.

at your response, shinsou was appalled at how genuine you were.

appalled… but also very grateful.

eventually, there came a point when he realized there was no mistaking the affection he felt for you—not when he subconsciously noted every one of your habits and intricacies, able to tell whatever emotions were running through you at a simple glance, or when he would stop to admire the way you decided to style your hair differently or changed your look, thinking you seemed even more charming that day by the confidence you exude.

no, at that point, he’s sure it was painfully obvious. so obvious, in fact, that kaminari and mina had chosen to skip today’s group study session in favor of letting the two of you have your “alone time”. whatever that could mean.

shinsou had grimaced over their excuse of “being too busy that day” when you had told him the reasoning they gave you over text, despite knowing their next exam was only a couple days away. recalling just how nosy and enthusiastic they could get when involved in these kinds of affairs, he had an inkling of what exactly those two were planning. you, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to their schemes.

however, what did latch onto your mind was the thought of spending the day with only shinsou, in his very room, sitting across from each other with your textbooks open in front of you. though you should be more attentive to your studies, you couldn’t help the palpitations beating loudly in your chest and your wandering eyes that snuck glances at him after every question you answered.

unbeknownst to you, shinsou mirrored your actions all the same, reciprocating the flustered behavior, albeit a bit more subtly.

keep calm, hitoshi. why are you getting all worked up? he would say to himself, putting on his usual facade.

although he came off as relatively calm and collected on the outside, it’s difficult to keep his emotions in check when actions never lie.

that was especially true as he reached his hand out for the eraser you two were sharing between each other. with his eyes continuing to gander down at his notes, he hadn’t noticed that you were lunging for the same thing—not until your fingers had suddenly touched and you both pulled away at a speed equivalent to making contact with fire.

his stare unfaltering, shinsou was surprised to discern the embarrassed look on your face that immediately fixed itself as you rummaged through your pencil pouch. a second later, you pulled out another eraser, one that was notably smaller than the one you were sharing.

“um.. i’ll just use this,” you offered, and shinsou rubbed the back of his neck, the whole situation more awkward than it needed to be considering you never had any trouble sharing your supplies with each other before.

through some examination of your demeanor, shinsou had made a… bold enough claim, thinking that maybe—just maybe—you held the same kind of affections for him as he did for you.

it’s like he recalled earlier—actions never lie—and shinsou didn’t let the quiver of your lips or the intense concentration at your work to avoid meeting his gaze go past his head. that’s what spurred him to finally act on his desires.

without warning, he leaned forward on his seat to lay his hand over yours that caught your attention. you met his eyes, astonished to say the least, but more so concerned by how your eyes widened before you were about to open your mouth to ask him what was wrong.

the violet-haired male beats you to your words, voice resonating firmly, “y/n.”

you blinked. “y-yeah..?”

“i know this might be a bit late coming from me, but,” you could feel his hand tighten atop yours, “after exams, do you want to catch a movie together? just the two of us?”

shinsou fought the urge to look away, bashful at how he made his declaration for your time. the warmth surging under his skin was alleviated at the smile that slowly curled on your lips as you rotate your wrist, your palm touching his. the expression washing over your features told him you’ve been waiting for him to ask you this for a while now.

“i’d love to.”

AMAJIKI TAMAKI

ever a shy and introverted individual, tamaki has never had the heart to ask you out despite years of harboring a crush on you.

every time the thought had crossed his mind, he’d reason poorly with himself that you wouldn’t be interested in him in that way.

it didn’t help that his low self-esteem only deepened that thought that had now rooted itself in his brain.

at such a prestigious school like u.a., you were bound to find someone far more compelling than him—someone with guts, confidence, and great social skills. not a guy like him who conjures the image of potatoes at every anxiety-inducing encounter he comes across.

he was relieved enough to settle himself comfortably as just your friend—a title that allowed him to stay close and keep within your circle, all the while subjecting him to simply admiring you from afar.

but his eyes that held a hidden longing for more weren’t overlooked by a fellow student of his. or to be precise, the ever curious and free-spirited, hadou nejire.

always aware of his surroundings, it was hard not to notice that peculiar stare she’d aim at him during moments where he might’ve just finished speaking to you, or when you’d pass by and his head would naturally drift in your direction.

it was like she was picking apart every detail laid on him and it made tamaki absolutely restless.

tamaki’s suspicions and anxiety were later raised during one instance at the lunch table. he was at his usual seat next to his other big three companions, mirio and the aforementioned nejire, who was eyeing him with a gleam in her eye.

even with his self-consciousness, tamaki did his best not to pay any mind to the undesired attention and munched on his plate of takoyaki—the octopus nestled in the batter sure to come in handy later in training that day.

to his dismay, you passed by their table with your tray of food in hand, and nejire did not waste any time calling you over in that cheery tone of hers.

she invited you to sit down with them. you gave her invitation some thought before ultimately placing yourself in the free spot next to mirio, with nejire and tamaki already seated across from you.

the girl was all smiles and hums while tamaki was in a state of distress, both at his friend’s odd behavior, which was starting to spell trouble, to having you pulled into all of this. mirio was just being mirio, welcoming as always.

you greeted everyone at the table, making eye contact with mirio and nejire, but tamaki evaded your line of sight. he simply waved his reply without breaking away from his balls of takoyaki.

luckily for him, you didn’t give his lack of words much thought and started digging into your own lunch. it was then that nejire found it appropriate to start up a conversation.

“y’know, y/n, i’ve been meaning to ask you this, from one girl to another,” she mused, finger waving around playfully, “are you interested in anyone here?”

upon hearing her question, tamaki almost choked on his bonito flakes, his cheeks puffed and eyes blown. meanwhile, your chewing slowed as you gave your answer some thought.

“uh… well–”

“i’d say fujita from class d is quite the looker! think you’d be interested in them?”

after swallowing the food in his mouth, tamaki began to subconsciously listen in on the conversation. he paid close attention to your responses with bated breath, a small part of him anticipating your answer highly.

“fujita’s nice and all, but i don’t think we’d really get along as a couple.”

tamaki mentally sighed, relief evident all over his face. it was then that mirio had started fitting the pieces together after watching his close friend’s brow wrinkle throughout the entire exchange before finally relaxing at your words. crossing his eyes with nejire’s only confirmed his suspicions as the girl sent him a wink.

as a friend, mirio wasn’t about to let nejire’s operations fall flat. getting up from his seat, he motioned tamaki to come with him.

“i heard they have extra yakisoba bread right now! we should go check it out!” he said as a guise to give the other two time to themselves, free from tamaki’s prying ears.

unaware that mirio had caught on so quickly, tamaki didn’t object to tagging along with him. mostly because he thought of this as an opportunity to get some fresh air and calm his racing heart, finally feeling the effects of the blood rushing to his face.

with tamaki supposedly out of earshot, nejire was free to go about her questions however she wanted.

“okay then, if not fujita, then who? there has to be someone, right?” the girl scooted further in her seat out of pure curiosity. “tell me, is it perhaps someone in our class?”

it was your turn to be stricken by her boldness. you tried picking at your food, stuffing it into your mouth to avoid answering, but nejire’s tenacity outmatched you.

finishing your lunch, you opened your mouth to speak, “actually, the person i’m interested in is pretty close to you…”

nejire feigned ignorance, innocently placing a finger under her chin. “who? mirio?”

“ah no, it’s tamaki, alright?!” you ended up blurting, voice hushed but frantic.

bingo. hearing exactly what she wanted, nejire returned to her original position, a triumphant grin plastered on her lips. replaying what you said out loud in your head, you buried your warm face in your hands.

unbeknownst to you, tamaki had ended up hearing the whole exchange around the corner coming back to their table as mirio lightly snickered at his revelation of an expression.

the blond patted his shoulder. “go on then, you know what to do.” he threw tamaki an encouraging thumbs-up.

the boy gulped in response before inhaling a deep breath of air to prepare himself for what would arguably be the most important yet stress-inducing moment of his life so far.

noticing you getting up to discard your tray, tamaki—through a final push from mirio—went to make his move.

hearing him suddenly call out to you, you were caught off-guard. after admitting to your crush on tamaki to nejire, you felt your cheeks get hot just seeing his face right afterward.

“oh hey, did you get your hands on those yakisoba breads?” you scraped up a way to start the conversation.

“right... that… mirio managed to get the last one in the cafeteria,” he answered. then he brought his hand to rub his elbow, fidgeting in his spot as he found it difficult to look you in the eyes again.

“tamaki? something wrong? are you upset that he got the last yakisoba bread?”

he shook his head. “no, i… it’s just… i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time now, but never had the courage to say it to you because i didn’t think you ever liked me that way. but…” he finally mustered the determination to face you head-on. “would you go out with me, y/n?”

at first, you were speechless—absent of words as you relayed his request in your mind over and over again. then, your eyes softened, lips easing into a smile as you reached out for his hand.

“i thought you’d never ask.”

TODOROKI SHOUTO

it’s no surprise to many that when it came to asking someone out, todoroki didn’t exactly know the first thing to do.

mostly because he’s never asked anyone out to begin with.

you were the first person he’s ever felt these kinds of emotions for, and to be frank, he wasn’t sure what to make of everything that had been going through him when that root of infatuation had started to bloom inside him.

rather than sulk or contemplate on his thoughts for too long, he surmised it was best to simply come clean and ask for advice.

but when he confessed to what had been on his mind lately, he wasn’t expecting such a vigorous response from his friends.

“i’ve been thinking about asking y/n out.”

there was a layer of uncomfortable silence amongst the group before all hell eventually broke loose.

midoriya, uraraka, and iida immediately sprung from their seats in the common room, yelling “what?!” in unison. tsuyu and her frog-like mannerisms were more idle, but still surprised nonetheless.

todoroki was unfazed by their reactions, actually expecting it to go that way considering he’s never brought up any topics of that nature before. at the very least, he’s thankful he decided to say this when it was just the five of them. compared to what the whole class’s reaction would have been like, this was incredibly tame.

todoroki was used to always listening to what others had to say and never being the subject of the conversation when it came to dating.

but now things were different. he was openly admitting to them that he was regarding someone romantically. that he possibly sought a relationship with this someone—wanting to be committed to them and become the very best person he could be right next to them. to the four, this was coming completely out of left field.

after everyone simmered down and let the news sink in, the dual-haired boy resumed his thought,

“but i’m not sure how to do it.”

though the entirety of the group never had any experiences when it came to dating, they knew enough from media and pop culture to get an idea on how to help him. more than todoroki could imagine on his own anyway.

“i know! how about we go with the romantic and suave approach!” uraraka suggested. the rest asked her to elaborate.

“it’s simple! it starts by you leaving a note on her desk right before class, saying to meet you on the rooftop of the school! before the designated time, you should wait there for her with a bouquet of flowers, and then when she arrives, confess your feelings and ask her out!”

midoriya rubbed a finger against his cheek, skeptical. “i don’t think that sounds as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

tsuyu chimed in beside him. “those kinds of ideas usually only work well in books, ochako.”

pursing her lips, uraraka gave her plan a once-over, and realized it did seem a bit more involved and out of character than what todoroki was used to.

despite sharing a few more ideas with one another, they couldn’t narrow it down to any perfect one.

that was when iida clapped his hand, bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“alright, i think we’re starting to blow this whole ‘operation’ way out of proportion,” he said.

“if you’re honest about the way you feel about her and show it sincerely, i’m sure she’ll consider your feelings. you don’t have to do anything extravagant when it comes to asking someone out.”

listening throughout every word, todoroki nodded. meanwhile the other three were astonished that their class representative could be so whimsical when it came to romance, which in turn, iida was conflicted by. however, at the very least he was glad they could help out a friend. and so, todoroki went about his day with their discussion in mind.

he found that in many occurrences, whenever he crossed by you and thought of it as a chance to ask you out, there would always be someone to come in and take your time away. leaving him to stand there awkwardly before dismissing the fated question for later.

eventually, the sky dimmed and evening arrived, and by then, the whole class was already back at their dormitory and about to have dinner.

through some rather convenient circumstances, you two were actually assigned on kitchen duty that night.

“it’s been getting pretty cold lately so i was thinking we should cook up a hot pot for everyone.” you gave your idea to him as you pulled out some ingredients from the fridge, waiting for his reply, but it came a few seconds later than you were expecting.

“right. sounds like a good idea,” todoroki answered a tad late. upon realizing it was only going to be the two of you making dinner tonight, his mind was occupied by what he and his friends spoke about earlier.

that was when he started overthinking the situation and absentmindedly half-assed his work.

“todoroki, the cut on the tofu is slightly uneven.” you reviewed his cutting board. looking down, he saw the inconsistent slices of tofu limp in front of him. if bakugou were the executive chef for the evening, he would’ve had to hear an earful from him.

“sorry…” he apologized quietly, reaching out for another cube of tofu to cut.

“is everything okay? i know you’re still learning how to cook, but i’ve seen you show some significant improvement on your knife skills recently.” you voiced your concern for him.

the white and red-haired boy stared at the white bean curd while hearing your worried tone and couldn’t find it within himself to continue the task. it was now or never he thought. he laid the knife flat on the cutting board.

“actually, i wanted to ask you something.” he turned toward you. “do you… want to go out with me?”

nothing but the sound of the fire running on the stove could be heard in the kitchen. todoroki didn’t move his eyes away from you, watching you nearly drop the plate of siu choy and shiitake mushrooms out of shock as your mouth was hanging open.

when you caught onto your bearings, you let out a small laugh. “oh… i… wasn’t expecting that,” you admitted honestly, placing the ingredients on the counter safely.

the boy furrowed his brows. “is that a no?”

“n-no! i mean that isn’t my answer! i–” you fumbled with your words, cheeks warming up now that his confession had finally sunk in. in the meantime, todoroki found your reaction quite amusing. the corner of his lip quirked into a grin.

“what i mean to say is that yes, i’d love to go out with you.” you accepted the offer wholeheartedly. todoroki would be lying if his heart wasn’t throbbing from anticipation. he’s glad he’s able to rest and put that aside.

“now let’s continue making this hot pot together!” you cheered, smiling widely and he found comfort in your words before resuming slicing the tofu.

[saltybaltic]

Hello!! I really enjoy your work and can’t wait to read more of it! I wanted to request some Norway!Nat smut (she just looks so soft in that trailer) maybe where she took R with her when they went on the run and Nat just seems down about the split so R keeps trying to do things to make her feel better until there’s some tension that they can’t ignore but R won’t initiate anything bc they feel that they’re taking advantage of Nat bc she’s upset but Nat tells them that she has wanted them for a while. Also bottom!Nat pls 🙏

Natasha Romanoff X Reader - ON THE RUN

Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow X FemReader Fanfic

Synopsis: Set at the start of Black Widow, you head out on the run with Natasha to keep her company in Norway. After a stressful two weeks, you find a way to comfort your girlfriend.

Warnings: language, 18+ sexual content, f/f sex, fingering

Words: 1912

She had been quiet. Not that silent contemplation wasn’t expected of Natasha when things were intense. However it seemed different than before. Usually when she came back from a difficult mission or a stressful day at work, Natasha would at least speak to you, even if it wasn’t about her feelings. You could tell she was processing something and never pushed her to speak before she was ready, but she was always able to offer you at least some communication no matter how casual.

Since your arrival to your new temporary home in Norway, Natasha had barely said more than was absolutely necessary. She spent a lot of time alone, which was remarkable considering how small the trailer was. She often went for walks around the surrounding woods, sitting by the nearest river or hiking through the trees in an attempt to think and clear her head. You allowed her all the time she desired, offering her space when she needed it but unable to hide the swell in your chest when occasionally on an evening she’d shuffle further into your side on the couch. A reminder that she still wanted you around, still wanted to be close to you. She just needed time.

Gradually she said more. You started to see the ghost of Natasha returning to her features. The occasional light hearted comment or the way she would look back at you, reassuring you that maybe one day soon things would get easier for her. You knew she must be hurting. Struggling to accept the loss of her work colleagues, her family. Not that they were gone forever, but maybe reconciliation would never be possible. You couldn’t begin to imagine what that felt like, but you knew you could at least numb the pain a little by being there to support her in whatever way she needed.

Lying on your side on the sofa, you were only half paying attention to the film on the tv. After several weeks in hiding at the trailer, you had already made your way through the tiny movie collection that had been provided. Twice. Not that most of them had been worth watching anyway.

Your attention drifted to the doorway from the bedroom as the floor creaked under Natasha’s feet. She gave you a small smile as she closed the door behind her and made her way into the main room to join you. She had changed out of her clothes into a pair of loose shorts and a vest, her hair still a little damp at the ends from her shower. As she made her way towards you, she nudged your hip gently with her knee, signalling for you to shuffle back and make room for her.

Doing as instructed, you moved back against the sofa, allowing the red head to perch on the edge of it before laying down with her back to you. She shuffled until her back was pressed against your front, reaching up to take hold of one of your arms and slipping it over her shoulder until it was wrapped around her body. She didn’t lay still until she had wrapped both of your arms around her, her body flush against your front.

She didn’t say anything, just let out a content sigh as you allowed her to move you into whatever position she wanted. Not that you had any objection to having your arms around Natasha.

A few minutes passed by as the two of you watched the movie in silence, Natasha’s fingers gliding delicately over your forearm that was hanging over her waist. The feeling was light, but enough that the soft scraping of her nails against your skin was too distracting to know what was happening in the film. Eventually you broke the silence, tilting your head enough that you could attach your lips to the side of her neck.

Dragging your lips over her, you mumbled quietly against her skin, “You okay baby?”

Natasha nodded, squeezing your arm reassuringly, “Just wanted to be close to you.”

“Well you know I have no problem with that.” you spoke against the side of her neck, pressing another kiss just below the first.

Letting out a quiet hum, Natasha squirmed slightly with a tilt of her head to make it easier for you to reach, “Mmmm that feels nice.”

“Yeah?” you asked quietly, brushing your lips upwards closer to her ear lobe as you moved the hand that was around her waist to grip at her hip.

With the way you took hold of her, Natasha found herself instinctively pushing her ass back into your body. The feeling was enough to send a jolt of arousal straight through you, rocking your own hips forward to meet her as your lips worked over her again.

“Yeah. I-“ Natasha’s words caught in her throat as your teeth scraped lightly over the edge of her jaw, a short gasp spilling from her lips, “Hmm you’re good at that.”

You let out a low chuckle at her statement, digging your fingertips a little more into her hip as she moved against you again, “Well I know what you like.”

Natasha’s hand came down to rest on top of yours, keeping it in place as you felt her grind back against your crotch. The movement already had your heart beating a little faster, unable to ignore the way the both of your breathing had gotten heavier.

“You definitely know what you’re doing.” whispered Natasha, pushing out a deep sigh as the way she was rocking against you became less subtle. You never stopped peppering her neck, alternating between wet open mouthed kisses and softer more delicate ones that brushed over her skin.

“Sure you’re okay honey?”

Your question had her squeezing your hand with hers, a small smile making its way across her face as she nuzzled her face into the sofa cushion and pushed out a breath, “Stop worrying and touch me.”

“Touch you? Is that what you want?” you asked quietly, pressing a kiss more firmly against the side of her neck. You felt her nod almost immediately, twisting her body slightly so she was half way on her front and you were virtually on top of her. She bent one of her legs at the knee, bringing it up towards her stomach and widening the gap between her thighs as she squeezed your hand again and pushed it down to the waistband of her shorts.

As your fingers skimmed over her stomach, a quiet whine tumbled from her lips, one hand coming up to grip the pillow underneath her head, “Please touch me, I’ve missed you.”

Slipping your hand up the front of her shirt, you stroked over her abdomen, your touch getting heavier already as you pulled her flush against your front and mumbled against the side of her face, “I’m right here Nat.”

“I know you are.” answered Natasha, a smile forming on her lips again as she took a hold of your hand and slipped it lower, pushing you where she wanted it until finally you cupped her over the top of her shorts and her eyes fell closed, “But I want you here.”

You couldn’t hold in a groan from the back of your throat, feeling the heat from her pussy against the palm of your hand as she bucked her hips towards you. You were more than happy to give her what she wanted, adding more pressure with your hand and rubbing her over the top of her pajama bottoms. Your other arm wrapped around her tighter, holding her close to your body as she started to rock her hips against you in a bid for more friction. It was difficult for her to move too much, now virtually pinned between the sofa cushions and your body. She brought one hand up to hold the back of your neck, pulling you back down to press your lips against the side of her jaw and along her throat.

Natasha practically whined when you removed your hand, only to follow it with a satisfied moan as you slipped it down the front of her shorts instead. She was so wet already that your fingers slipped easily through her folds, skimming over her clit as her hips jolted forward at the sensation. You didn’t want to tease her too much, more than aware that it had been such a stressful few weeks, that you had barely had the chance to be intimate with one another, that Natasha seemed to need this.

With the way your arm was wrapped around her body, holding her tight, your other around her waist as you rubbed over her clit - Natasha felt completely and utterly surrounded by you and she couldn’t get enough of it. She had missed your hot breath against her neck, the way your lips felt against her sensitive skin, how your body seemed to fit perfectly against her own. But most of all she had missed how well you always seemed to know what she wanted and all the best ways to make her feel good. Which was why she couldn’t help but feel disappointed when you stopped circling over her clit and removed your hand from her shorts.

You could easily sense her disappointment, chuckling quietly against the back of her neck and whispering against her ear, “Turn around and let me see you, Nat.”

The red head was more than happy to oblige, turning in your hold and wrapping her arms around your neck. One of her legs found place at your side, shuffling forward so that you were once again pressed as close together as possible, only this time, she found herself groaning in appreciation as one of your thighs settled between her legs.

Reaching up, you gripped her chin in your hands, tilting her face the way you wanted it so her eyes locked with yours. You could see the way hers had darkened, the blown out pupils, the flush to her cheeks that let you know she was definitely as turned on as you were. You kissed her once, slowly and purposefully as you kept hold of her face before pulling back. Her lips remained parted, eyes heavy lidded and you couldn’t think of anything more beautiful. That was until she looked back at you once again, reaching up to remove your hand from her face and instead bringing it towards her lips so that she could suck two of your fingers into her mouth.

Your body flushed hot at the sight, the sensation of her warm mouth around your digits shooting straight down between your legs. She dragged her tongue over the length of your fingers, eyes still locked intensely with yours, and a subtle smirk tugging at the corner of her lips that told you she knew you weren’t going to be able to resist her now. Not that you ever could.

Natasha pressed a kiss to the palm of your hand, a cheeky grin on her face as she raised an eyebrow and spoke quietly, “Is that what you wanted to see?”

You couldn’t help but return her grin, leaning forward and smashing your lips against hers in a heated kiss as you wasted no time in lowering your hand and sliding it back inside of her shorts. As soon as one of your fingers slipped inside of her, Natasha let out a loud moan against your lips, her grip tightening either side of your neck and pulling you impossibly closer.

The way her eyes bunched closed and her head tilted back to push out a groan had you transfixed, watching her awestruck as you pulled back your hand and sank another finger into her pussy.

“God, I’d forgotten how good you look with my fingers inside of you.” you muttered against her mouth, feeling a soft laugh and then a moan from Natasha fan your lips.

A gasp left her next as you thrust into her harder this time, her fingertips digging into the base of your neck and her teeth tugging at your lower lip as she began to move in time with your digits. You were able to use the thigh between her legs for added leverage, pushing upwards in a way that had the palm of your hand pressing satisfyingly against her with every movement of your fingers.

“Harder … please.” Natasha’s words were barely comprehensible as she murmured them into your mouth, pulling your face to hers again to reattach your lips. The moan that vibrated against your mouth sent a shudder down your spine, the way Natasha sucked on your tongue to try and stifle it felt even better. You were all too happy to indulge her request, picking up the pace of your fingers and thrusting into her harder, curling them upwards and hitting that spot that had her rutting her hips against you more frantically.

Quickly it became impossible to hear the movie that was playing in the corner, completely drowned out by the writhing of your bodies on the couch and heavy breaths and moans echoing off the walls of the trailer. If you hadn’t been completely secluded in the middle of nowhere, you might have blushed at the idea that someone could easily hear you through the thin, metal walls. Natasha on the other hand seemed so far gone that nothing would have interrupted your moment. She was already chasing her release, fingers twitching against your scalp and occasionally tugging on your hair with each thrust of your digits inside of her. You could feel her tightening around you, the movement of her hips becoming sloppy as a moan of your name filled the room.

“That’s it baby, you gonna come for me?”

Her eyebrows knotted together, eyes bunched closed as she nodded her head frantically and brushed her lips over yours, “Fuck, I’m so close.”

You didn’t get a chance to say anything in response as Natasha cried out when your fingers curled and hit her just right. You could only watch with a small smile as she shuddered against you, her nails surely leaving marks at the back of your neck as she rocked sloppily against your fingers. It wasn’t long until her orgasm started to hit, feeling her clench around you and the stutter of her hips as her breath caught in her throat and she let out the loudest groan of your name yet. You could never tire of this feeling, the way she went from frantic and desperate to practically melting in your arms as she rode out her high.

Natasha pulled your face back to meet hers, humming happily against your mouth as she kissed you. Her lips worked gently over yours, tongue slipping into your mouth and brushing against your own as her movements slowed to a stop and she let out a soft sigh. She didn’t loosen her leg wrapped around your waist, still pressed against your thigh and keeping your hand jammed inside of her shorts. She let out a whimper as you wiggled your fingers a final time, grinning against your lips as she pulled back and rubbed her nose against yours.

“God I love you.” she said quietly, looking back at you in a way that ensured her eyes conveyed more than her words ever could.

You gave her a smile, pecking her lips again, “I love you.”

“Good.” answered Natasha, her grin quickly turning mischievous as she tugged lightly on your hair, “So fuck me again.”

[slightlymore]

remote control

fem reader x kun x doyoung x ten

genre: smut, pwp, some crack because 96 line duh

warnings: 4some and everything regarding that,,, unprotected, cum play, toys, overstimulation, masturbation, fingering, oral, little slaps to the coochie and thighs, grinding, anal ahem let’s go

idk what spirit possesed me while writing this 😳😳 don't take me accountable it was not me I swear ✋✋✋absolutely not for the faint of heart

vibe: they give you some birthday cake :)

words: 3.8k

_____

Ten groaned after he put a foot in the candle-lit living room. 

"Y/N, when you invited me for dinner I didn't expect to see the faces of those two idiots as well."

Doyoung, kneeling on the soft carpet in front of the tv, rolled his eyes while Kun furrowed his eyebrows offended. 

You patted Ten's shoulder with a giggle. 

"It's a festive dinner, the more, the merrier." 

"I hate to say that Ten's right, because he's never right, but I also thought this was a romantic duo escape," Doyoung finished arranging his presents in the dedicated spot as if it were Christmas and sighed. 

"Well,” Ten took a chip from the bowl in front of Doyoung, “I see that we share one brain cell. Is that the good shirt Kun? The one that shows off the pecs?" Ten teased the older who scoffed. 

"Do you know how cold it is?" he eyed Ten's exposed chest as he had three open buttons. 

Doyoung snorted.

You bit your lower lip to not giggle again then clapped your hands once as to get their attention. 

"No fighting for one night. Please? The food will be here soon." 

"Wait, you didn't cook?" Ten placed his gifts on the coffee table. 

You shook your head and he chuckled, high fiving you. 

"What are we doing in the meantime? Movie?" Kun sat on the couch, staring at the way Ten didn't let your hand go for a few more moments. "Come sit here," he continued, patting the spot near him, "you said you were very tired."

You sighed and fell on the couch, the sudden movement making Kun wobble so he grabbed your thigh to sustain himself. He considered it a very comfortable armrest since he didn't show any desire to take his hand away. 

"We can open the gifts," Ten sat on the ground in front of you with a wiggle of the eyebrows. 

Doyoung whined dramatically. "But it took me so much time to arrange them aesthetically."

"No one cares about yours. Y/N, open mine," the younger smiled excited, his smirk making you chuckle once and you accepted the gift he was extending you. 

"What's this?" 

Doyoung brought his gifts along and sat on the other side of the couch, his shoulder rubbing on you when he tried to find a more comfortable position. 

"Open it and you'll see," Ten murmured. 

The box under the wrapping paper was foreign to you so you shook it a few times. Kun frowned trying to read better and Doyoung gasped after a few moments of blinking. 

"Ten? Is this a vibrator?" you finally asked when your hand wrapped the pink toy. 

Ten laughed at your reaction and took the object from your hands. 

"Happy birthday. It's a remote vibrator," he explained happily. "You can control it with your phone. Remember when you told me about how it's hard for you to change speed on your vibrator in certain positions? Since it's hard to reach?" 

Kun and Doyoung shifted on their seats at his words and you felt your face burn. "Ten! That was confidential," you grabbed the toy back and shoved it into its box.

"Make sure to try it. If you need help to understand how it works I can help you," he winked and you couldn't help but giggle a little. 

"Well, now you have to check mine," Doyoung disrupted the moment by shoving his box in your arms instead. 

Ten leaned back on his hands with a grin, so sure of his gift being the best one that he choked on air at the sight of the white delicate material in your hands. 

"Oh, Doyoung! It's beautiful!" you touched the lingerie with your fingertips before lifting it, looking at the way the light could easily pass through it. "I hope it fits."

"It will," Doyoung was proudly smiling at you, probably patting himself on the shoulder in his head. 

"Doyoung keeps staring at your ass so he probably knows your size but I won't believe it will fit until I see you in that myself," Ten passed his tongue on his lip and you rolled your eyes positively amused. 

"Ten, stop being horny challenge," Kun murmured. 

"I can let you see her in my gift if you let me also teach her how to use the toy," Doyoung offered a deal. 

"Uhm? Guys? I'm right here?" 

Ten and Doyoung ignored you, deep into their stares battles until Ten smiled slyly as if they silently came to a compromise by themselves. 

"Y/N? What do you seriously think about that?" he locked eyes with you, the heaviess of that suggestion making a lump form inside your throat. 

"Model that for us?" Doyoung whispered on your side. "We just want to make sure it fits," he raised his palms, no sly intentions - he meant.

Passing the occasion to fuck your hottest friends on your birthday? You were all heated up at the thought and you did want to hide away, but their hungry eyes gave you courage. 

So you shrugged, faking nonchalance. "Okay."

The guys let out surprised sounds and Kun's hands on his gifts tightened, making the packet crinkle. 

Doyoung sat up from the couch and Ten followed suit as if needing to move. The sudden change of air made your hair swoosh and you chuckled before noticing Kun's gift. 

"Oh, right," you tried to take it but Kun was quick to pull it away. 

"It's not for me?" you blinked at him a few times. 

"Uhm," Kun sucked the air through his teeth. 

"Oh? Kunnie is embarrassed that his gift is very PG? Did you buy socks?" Ten teased him, the hot pink toy already in his hands making his image even wilder. 

"Come on, Kun," you smiled. "Whatever it is, it's alright. I'll love it," you assured him, stretching one hand again and you both laughed as he kept it out of your reach. "Kun!" you grunted, almost climbing in his lap. 

The man slid away from you on the couch, your body hovering over his when he didn't have any more space to run away to, until you straddled his waist and made your way upwards, grabbing at his extended arms and pulling down. 

A little triumphal squeal left your lips when you reached the box and you quickly opened it. Kun let out a defeated sigh, his free hands now resting on your thighs draped on both sides of his torso. 

So concentrated on the gift, you didn't even notice the lack of teasing from the other two when Kun whispered. 

"You can use it as a blindfold."

The silk scarf in your hands felt like water on your skin. 

"What?" you finally realized what Kun said. 

"Like this," he sat up and your body slid down to his thighs in the movement. He took the scarf and gently placed it on your eyes. 

It felt so soft on your eyelids that you sighed pleased. 

You chuckled slightly embarrassed from the sudden silence but it was quick to get disrupted when you felt your lips kissed gently by Kun. 

"It heightens your other senses," he whispered like a demonstration.

The other two groaned loudly, bickering about how you needed to change into the lingerie first before doing anything else. But your mind was too concentrated on how Kun's body felt under yours and on his hands palming your lower back and going to cup your ass to actually hear anything at all. 

You pushed into the kiss, even more, diving your hands into Kun's hair, the blindfold making the sensation even more acute indeed.

"Kun, don't be greedy," you heard Doyoung talk and Kun let your tongue go. You really liked it and desperately wanted to keep your mouth occupied, so when Kun turned you around with your back to touch his chest, you hummed pleased to feel someone's lips on yours again. A different taste and a different technique and you wondered if it was Doyoung, his teeth on your lower lip making you whine. 

"I knew you were a biter," you murmured and his breath, hitting your face as he chucked so close to you, caressed your skin so deliciously that you wanted to feel it everywhere. And thank goodness that Kun was there because he gave you just that, his tongue licking your neck in little circles before he started to suck on it. You whimpered and felt Doyoung pull your jaw, even more, catching all of your sounds with his mouth again. 

"I washed it-" you heard Ten enter the living room again and you wondered when he left in the first place. "Oh shit, yall already like this?" he commented and you dropped your hand from Doyoung's stomach to his crotch and felt his hard rock cock under the pants. He bit your lower lip again at the sensation and you whined, mirroring his heavy breaths. Then you whined again, this time alone when Kun's hands were quick to pull your sweater off your frame. He adjusted your blindfold again before palming your arms at the sudden goosebumps formed on your skin. 

In a second your lips got occupied again and this time you tasted Ten's chapstick instead of Doyoung's mints, the latter probably occupied with fumbling with your pants. Your bra got opened by Kun's hands at the same moment your bottoms got dragged away from your legs. Your knees buckled under Doyoung's cold touch and he whistled silently when you opened them up to drape over Kun's legs. The latter's fingers were gently cupping your soft breasts and you had to break off the kiss to pant. Ten didn't complain and promptly dropped to your chest instead, letting his tongue draw wet stripes around your nipples then flicking your swollen buds with such vigour to make you squirm in Kun’s arms. 

“You’re so fucking wet,” you heard Doyoung’s voice somewhere on your left, probably enjoying the view. “You like to have three guys all over you, don’t you?” 

Your mind started to buzz when Kun’s hands dropped to your stomach, your breasts occupied by Ten’s mouth, and when they grasped at the cotton of your panties you squeezed your thighs together. 

Doyoung clicked his tongue and lightly slapped them open again. “Be a good girl and open for Kun.” 

“Are you going to take my fingers well, baby?” you heard the latter whisper into your ear. You moaned, letting your head fall backwards on his shoulder and Kun was quick to suck on your exposed neck. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out and your hands automatically went to Ten’s hair and pulled when Doyoung hooked his fingers under your panties and dragged them down your legs. 

Completely nude in front of them, you could feel Kun’s jeans rubbing on your bare ass skin, his soft sweater making you want to fall deeper into his embrace. 

“Fuck, I might just cum right now,” Ten murmured, lightly caressing your legs.

You wondered what he was looking at but then in a moment your lips got parted by Kun's fingers and when he started to gently rub your wetness, everyone swore softly under their breath, and you knew.

You whined and arched your back into his touch, the thought of giving them all a show going to your head. And you got even dizzier when Kun turned your head around to shove his tongue inside your mouth just when you felt someone else's tongue lap at your core. 

The wet sounds were sinful and there were so many hands on your body that you squirmed, the heat of them collecting all inside the nub someone was mercilessly flicking. And when he groaned, breathing out on your pussy, you recognized his voice and tried to imagine just how hot Doyoung looked between your legs. 

"I want to see you," you murmured breathlessly against Kun's mouth. Ten clicked his tongue amused. 

"Don't think so."

"You need to cum first, baby. Is that alright?" Kun asked with a low raspy voice.

His hands kept roaming your breasts and his cock was so hard against your ass that you wanted him to bury it in you already.

A loud wet smack made it difficult for you to talk and Doyoung's soft laugh sent vibrations through your body. 

"Yeah. This is how I want you. Fucked so good it's difficult to talk." 

Your legs twitched as you felt his fingertips nudge at your entrance and when you felt one slowly pumping you, your own fingers gripped Kun's arms that were keeping up thighs apart.

"If you're like this with just one finger, what's going to happen with all of our cocks?" Ten wickedly whispered near your jaw and you realized he was kneeling on the couch near you. 

"Are you going to be a good girl and take Ten in your soft mouth, baby?" Kun's teeth grated at your earlobe and you gasped loudly, feeling Doyoung inserting his second finger, scissoring inside of you so deliciously to make you beg. 

"Close, please, so close-," you mumbled then moaned Doyoung's name as he sucked on your hard clit. 

Your sounds got all choked up as you felt Ten's fingers tapping at your lower lip. You opened your mouth wide, tongue out waiting for him. Kun's blunt nails dug into your ass at the view and Ten grunted, presumably fisting his cock before slowly pushing past your lips. You relaxed your jaw and lifted your palms to place on his stomach but Kun was quick to grab your wrists and block your movements. 

"We want you helpless, baby. No touching. Let Ten have fun with you as he pleases."

His voice was so teasing that your whined, face stuffed with Ten's cock, giving Doyoung even more drive to eat you all out. He knew you were close so he picked up the pace, for a moment the only sounds in the room - your wet pussy and choking sounds. The vibrations of your throat were driving Ten insane as he held your head with one hand and fucked your mouth. Kun's fingers flicking your nipples just added to it and you were completely gone, cumming on Doyoung's hot tongue in seconds, legs shaking and hands gripping the first thing you could find. 

"Fuck, you're so good," Ten's voice was becoming a whine as he let you go to breathe and come down your high. 

Doyoung's lips were peppering kisses on your thighs as Kun's praises lingered in your ears. 

"Now give us another one, babe," Doyoung hovered over you and kissed your lips, letting you have a taste of your arousal. 

You dragged the blindfold to your neck and squinted, the view keeping you dizzy. 

You turned your head to Ten and opened your mouth again, shifting off Kun's lap. Ten was quick to slide on your tongue, hand grabbing a fistful of your hair to anchor himself. You whined and felt Kun's hands grab your waist, letting him adjust your body on all fours to his liking. And when you heard his belt unbuckling, your whole body twitched again. 

"Shit," he let his palm drag between your wet lips, wetting his cock with his fist and pumping himself a few times. 

Ten was kind enough to slide out as Kun stretched you out because it felt so good that you gritted your teeth. 

"Good girl," Doyoung hummed, hand moving your hair out of your face. "Does that feel good?" 

"Yeah," you breathed out. "Want your cock too."

Doyoung inhaled sharply and took his phone out of the back pocket. Ten moaned curses and you looked up right in time to see the hot spurts before closing your eyes. You felt them on your face and you were quick to open your mouth as well. 

"Fuck, Y/N," Ten breathed out, collecting some with his fingers and shoving them in your mouth. You licked them thoroughly, jolting as Kun spanked your ass once as if requiring your attention. He didn't need that, because the way his heavy cock felt inside of you was the only thing roaming your head, and when Doyoung finally got close too, you realized what the phone was needed for. 

The buzz of the vibrator filled your ears and when he placed it on your nipples first you thought you were going to go insane. 

"Hm, our little fuck toy enjoys this quite a lot," Doyoung hummed, letting it slide down your stomach. 

"Do our little toy also want all of her pretty holes used?" Kun asked, his spit falling between your asscheeks under his thumb. He caressed you gently before giving it a trial press down. 

"Yeah yeah please," you breathed out, wiggling your ass against his stomach when he stopped fucking you. 

"Toy or cock princess?" Ten caressed your face with both hands, lips so close that you were dying to kiss him. 

"Cock."

"Hm," he smiled wickedly. "Doyoung, you heard the order."

Said man chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

Kun was quick to slide out and you whined at the sudden emptiness. The toy passed from Doyoung's hands to Ten's and for a moment you wondered what they would use that for now. 

"Ride me, love," Kun looked breathtaking leaning down on the couch. You turned around and straddled his lap, the build-up of your orgasm already gone and you were desperate to go back there. 

You closed your eyes as you sat on his cock again, sliding down slowly until meeting the base with your clit. Kun grabbed your waist and pulled you down on his chest, your nipples starting to rub on his sweater. You loved it but needed his naked body so you slid your palms underneath it to meet his hot skin. He lifted his arms up and threw it to the side, letting your breasts bounce on his face as you rolled your hips. 

A sudden movement made you turn your head behind you to where Doyoung placed himself. His palms soothed your spine and got to your face. You accepted his fingers into your mouth as Kun watched with open lips - just the view of his cock disappearing inside of you enough to make him go over the edge. As Doyoung's fingers gently nudged at your asshole, Kun gladly accepted your nipples in his mouth, hands squeezing the base of them. 

"Relax, baby. You're doing so well," Doyoung's low voice accompanied his fingering. 

"Fuck," you grabbed Kun's hands, the difference between their movements, gently and harsh, making you unable to think. And you almost forgot about Ten right where the buzz of the vibrator got closer to you. 

"Ah shit," Doyoung groaned through gritted teeth, his tip slowly going past your entrance. "I've always wanted to fuck your pretty ass."

You inhaled sharply at the sensation, Kun stopping with difficulty to give you time to adjust to Doyoung's girth and when you begged them to move again, they didn't hold back. 

It was intoxicating and so dirty that your head was spinning. They fucked you at different speeds on purpose and you were bouncing between their bodies like an actual fuck toy. 

"Such a good slut, taking two cocks at the same time," Ten commented, his hand already palming himself again. 

Kun let his head fall back and closed his eyes, his trembling hands on your waist telling you he was close. 

"Are you going to let Kun cum inside that little pussy of yours?" Doyoung leaned down, grabbing your jaw to tilt your head backwards.

"Yeah, yes, yes," you mumbled nonsense, so close to the edge yourself. 

Doyoung's hand slid to your neck and pressed a little, choking your loud moans.

It all got desperate in a matter of moments, Kun's rhythmic thrusts completely gone and Doyoung's quick snaps to keep you on edge, all until Kun groaned and went limp underneath you. His cum filled you all up as he thrust a few more times riding his high. 

"Not a single baby girl will remain unsatisfied," Ten announced, breath heavy thanks to the spectacle, the toy in his hands finally making sense when he placed it on your clit. Everyone groaned as you clenched on their cocks, Kun's half-hard one still inside of you. 

"Fuck, Ten-," he whimpered. 

"What is it, Kun? Can't take some overstimulation?" his friend teasingly retorted. 

"Cumming-cumming so close-," you fell on Kun's chest and he wrapped your body with his arms as it swung back and forth at Doyoung's movements. 

The latter was also close given his heavy breath and tight grip on your ass. 

"Are you going to cum with me, love?" he asked. "Can't do it alone, understood?" 

"Shit Doyoung-," 

"Understood?" he slapped your ass harshly and you mewled, nodding fast. 

"Keep that in," Ten whispered, adjusting the vibrator to hit the sweetest spot on purpose. 

Kun whined against your face, his cock already hard again inside of you but unable to move. 

"Three-," Doyoung's voice was rough. 

You whined, nails leaving red marks on Kun's shoulders. 

"I can't anymore!" 

"Two-"

Your legs started to shake uncontrollably as Doyoung's cock railed you just as intensly. 

"Cum for me princess," he finally ordered and you almost screamed, the orgasm washing over you so hard that you were afraid you'd blackout. Doyoung came just as hard, his cum filling your other hole to the rim. 

Ten gave you a break and took away the wet toy, his eyes blown out and panting lips. 

"You're so fucking gorgeous," he whispered. 

Kun's cock twitched inside of you and you let him go, sliding down on his body as Doyoung sat back on the couch, eyes trained on the way you were spilling with his seed. You let your legs drap over his thighs, resting on your stomach as you reached Kun's cock, eagerly taking it into your mouth. Your ass in the air on Doyoung's lap was too pretty to be left alone and Ten was quick to hand the other the toy. 

"Fuck, you're amazing," Kun grabbed your face, looking at the way you pursed your lips around him. 

You were a mess - pleasure tears poking at your eyes, saliva on your chin and cum sliding out of your holes. Doyoung was quick to push it inside again with the vibrator though, loving the way your ass jiggled in his hold under his light spanks. You cried out at the overstimulation then whined helplessly again as Ten spread your legs apart.

"Can you take me as well, love?" he pressed his tip on your raw clit and when you let out a positive moan he slid inside easily with a deep swear. He felt heavenly and his whiny void was by far the sexiest. 

Doyoung stood up to give Ten some room to play in and he got close to your stuffed face. You hummed around Kun's cock and your body shook as Ten gently placed the toy between your ass cheeks as he fucked your tight pussy.

You looked up at Doyoung with glossy eyes and letting Kun go for a moment you let your tongue out. 

Doyoung smiled wickedly and slid his cock inside your mouth.

[by-nina]

Exchange

Artwork by @caesurables​​; do not repost.

AO3 | FFN Royai Week 2021 | Day 1 – King’s gambit/Queen’s gambit Rating: M (light drinking, sexual content) Genre: Lemon Word Count: 3,230

A/N: Happy Royai Week, everyone! Welcome to the spiciest thing I've written so far, which marks the first time I'm starting Royai Week with smut. I hope this feeds you well. Special shoutout to Mica for adding life to this with the gorgeous art! 😍

Something stirs in her; on one hand, it would be easy to call it yearning. But on the other, nothing that concerns Roy Mustang has ever been easy. Riza has always equated these things with methodical moves and calculated risks.

And so, for once, Riza pictures herself playing her game not for Roy’s sake, but for hers. She imagines that the stakes are different, the rules may be broken, and the only person she has ever wanted is both her gamble and her prize. She could have it all now—she need only play her piece.

———

Roy Mustang was made for a night like this. Handsome, stylish dress uniform, hair slicked back like a frame around his striking facial features, an air of dignity in his walk, his posture, even his gaze. He wears it all so well that he stands out from older, more distinguished company in the East City Hotel, where tonight, the Eastern Army is holding an extravagant ball in recognition of its recently promoted officers.

Riza is present as well, of course. For the occasion, she has traded her usual military attire for a blue satin gown with a flatteringly slender silhouette. A sash pinned with the insignia of her rank hangs from her shoulder to her hip. Having gone up the stage much earlier in the program for her own recognition, she has now retreated to the far end of the room, from where she’s got a full view of Roy as he waits to be called in front of the crowd.

Her promotion from Second to First Lieutenant is nowhere near as significant as his becoming Colonel, but it is no less her night than his. Selfish though the thought may be, it’s true that Roy owes this night to her, every title and every honor conferred to him. In every aspect of his life, she has made a crucial choice that allowed him to take a step in the right direction towards their goals—his goals that she has chosen to make her own.

“For the rank of Colonel, Roy Mustang…”

It was Riza’s choice to join him in the military, and it was this choice that has kept him on his path and his eyes on these goals. She has been devoted to his success just as much as to her act of atonement, but she was not subservient to either. Roy also carries with him the burden of their sins in Ishval. Her responsibility over his atonement means that she has more power than a subordinate would normally have under their superior. Anyone could be a dutiful subordinate or competent bodyguard, after all, but only she could be trusted with his life as well as his death.

“… the formidable Flame Alchemist…”

And it was her choice to reveal the secrets of flame alchemy, entrusted to her by her father, that first set him on the path towards his goals for the people and the country in the first place. Had she not trusted him, Roy would have searched further and longer for some other practice of alchemy. Had Riza chosen to die with her father’s secrets, Roy might not have come anywhere near who he is now.

“… and Hero of Ishval.”

Every choice she has made in their intertwined lives has determined the course of his, even when he should have been none of her concern. This was especially true in Ishval. She could have pulled the trigger at any time when she despised him most. She could have reversed the choice that brought him to Ishval. Riza chose instead to be an ally—a friend in a war where every other sense of humanity seemed to have been lost.

The Hero of Ishval was made through her actions; as was the Flame Alchemist; as was this shiny new Colonel Roy Mustang. As he is introduced by Lieutenant General Grumman, he takes his place at the center of the ballroom stage, and his titles and promotion seem all the more impressive due to the fact that he is the only new Colonel being recognized tonight. The crowd erupts in a reverent applause which Riza does not join in.

In different circumstances, if it weren’t for the very cards they have been dealt, tonight could have truly been happy, a cause for celebration. But their plans continue forming and unfolding; this game on which they have staked their lives does not pause. And so Riza watches him as she drinks her champagne, quietly imagining the steps they ought to take next, the moves they must plan, the sacrifices she must make in this gambit where she is both player and piece and he is the king set to take it all.

Her life is a game which she plays for Roy Mustang to win.

When his moment passes and the ceremony moves on, Roy descends from the stage, searching through the crowd for Riza. He finds her and meets her gaze across the room, and for a moment she wavers in her train of thought. She is familiar with this feeling. She has felt its pull before, but never this strongly, never with enough clarity so as to explicitly name him its object. How could she possibly feel it towards someone for whose sake she has forgotten her own needs and her own desires? How could she not be indifferent instead?

Riza leaves her champagne on a nearby table and turns in the opposite direction to walk off its effects. The party thankfully offers plenty enough distraction from the drink and from Roy. She meets a few colleagues here and there, makes small talk, and when she loses sight of Roy, she’s certain that he has been intercepted by people wishing to congratulate him or rub elbows with him for his prodigious rise through the ranks. She soon manages to extricate herself from the crowd and disappear from the ballroom.

———

“You should be celebrating tonight, Lieutenant.”

Riza knows that Roy has found her before he even speaks. She didn’t think that he would. She had wandered around the hotel until she found herself in distant, unfamiliar hallways decorated with beautiful artwork that she could admire until her intoxication had worn off enough to safely drive home. But there is no mistaking the sound of his footsteps or the scent of his perfume tinged with the liquor from the party. Part of her wants to disappear again, but his proximity in an otherwise deserted place seems to further slow down her currently unreliable reflexes.

Riza smiles dryly. “Does it matter if we received our actual promotions a week ago? We all know this is just an excuse to flatter ourselves and have a good time without spending our own money.” Roy smirks as she shakes her head. “Either way, I think I'll enjoy the party much better here, away from the crowd. But you're everyone's darling for the evening. They'll be wanting you back."

Roy sighs and rubs the side of his head, as if the very thought tires him. "I see enough of them at work. And there's going to be more of them around now, especially when we get transferred to Central. This night isn't about them."

The mention of Central causes Riza to bristle with alertness. She whips her head around to ascertain that the hallway is deserted. Behind her, she finds an intricately carved double door, and she quickly strides across the hallway to it. To her surprise, it is unlocked; the room beyond it appears to be dark and deserted. Riza shoots a glance at Roy as she enters. He swiftly follows.

Riza spots a nearby floor lamp just before she locks the door. For a moment, the room is pitch black, then Riza switches on the lamp. Its warm glow is just enough for her to make out Roy’s face and the silhouettes of the furniture in the room. They seem to have found themselves in a lavish parlour with a high-backed sofa and matching armchairs, a handsome tea table for two, a fireplace carved from white marble, and a vintage piano.

“I see you’re already making plans for proceeding to Central,” Riza begins. “We should be more careful about discussing them from now on, Colonel. Everyone has their eyes on you.”

Roy stares at her questioningly. Then, a small laugh breaks through his expression, and he shakes his head. “I’m not. I didn’t come looking for you to talk about our plans.”

She frowns. “What is it, then?”

“It’s just like I said. You should be celebrating tonight.” He draws what sounds like both a nervous breath and a laugh. “It wouldn’t have been right to enjoy the party without you. You’re the reason we’ve both come this far.” He pauses, and then his voice turns softer than before. There is no trace of a smile left in it or on his face. “I know you know that, Lieutenant.”

In the soft light, Roy’s face appears flushed, his features softer than they were when she watched him back at the ballroom. Riza doesn’t realize just how close he is until the scent of champagne on her is lost to his raspberry wine. Something stirs in her; on one hand, it would be easy to call it yearning. But on the other, nothing that concerns Roy Mustang has ever been easy. Riza has always equated these things with methodical moves and calculated risks.

And so, for once, Riza pictures herself playing her game not for Roy’s sake, but for hers. She imagines that the stakes are different, the rules may be broken, and the only person she has ever wanted is both her gamble and her prize. She could have it all now—she need only play her piece.

But never in any of their plans or her own did she consider this a possible outcome, that Roy Mustang would be kissing her with one gentle hand on her face and another on her waist, or that the warmth of his body could be such a welcome comfort. He kisses her as if he has known for a long time just how closely he would need to lean in, how to tilt his head to the correct angle so that the curve of his lips would fit perfectly with hers. Riza senses this not because of unrestrained passion—on the contrary, Roy is perfectly still. The kiss is tender, but the rest of him is tense, as if it’s the only thing holding him together now. Or as if it’s the only thing he has held out for all this time.

Roy breaks away from her slowly, and it’s Riza whose heart is thundering in her chest. Perhaps, had the game been hers alone to play, it wouldn’t have led them so far so soon. Had it been she to approach him first, they might have only teetered over their fragile lines and not fully crossed to a point of no return. But Roy has taken her by surprise where the playing field has always seemed to be even between them. This, she cannot accept—she has never made a gamble that she did not see through. This will not change now.

She will play her game on her own terms.

Riza flings her arms over Roy’s shoulders as she kisses him, one hand running through his hair and undoing it back to the style she knows and likes best on him. It makes her want more—thank heavens that he realizes it right away. He responds so ardently that they stumble, so he steers her until she falls back against the piano and dissonant notes blare over their sighs. His hand runs down her side, over her hip and into the slit of her blue dress, where he reaches under her thigh and lifts it up against his leg.

But Riza refuses to give in so easily. She trails her hand down his front, all the way down to where he has started to turn hard. A gasp escapes him when she wraps her fingers around his erection and tugs at it. It gives her an opportunity to push back and reverse their positions so he is seated on the piano—it clangs unpleasantly again—and she is leaning over him as she makes short work of his jacket and his shirt to kiss his chest. The further down Riza drags her lips, the less familiar she is with the territory she is exploring, but she goes on until she brushes against that warm, rough outline. Riza tugs his trousers down, and when he springs free of his clothing, she takes Roy into her mouth.

He is exactly how she wants him right now, inelegant and vulnerable with his head hanging all the way back. Riza starts off slowly, but she is eager to figure out whether she can get him to unravel more quickly with her lips running back and forth along the length of him, or with her fingers massaging the base which her mouth cannot reach. His pleasure seems to build unhurriedly until she twists her tongue around, making him throb and moan quaveringly. She becomes hungry to hear more of him and picks up the pace, never mind that the effort is choking her. Roy grips her hair until it falls out of its pins, ultimately coming loose down her back. She goes, and goes, and she thinks he might be close, but then—

But then Roy pulls her up so he could kiss her, and Riza sighs in pleasure, and it isn’t enough for her just to watch him unravel anymore. She falls into him in a blissful, drunken haze, allowing him to kiss and caress her and unzip her dress. She could burst into flames at every part of her that he touches, even the scars that he had left on her back when their game was at its deadliest. He begins rubbing her between her legs, and there it hardly matters whether his touch flutters over her skin like candlelight or pushes as suddenly as lightning—the sensation just builds and builds, like a storm stirring up the sea.

How could he know so well what to do with her, how to give her just enough and yet leave her wanting more without ever having explored her this way before? The question is quickly lost in Riza’s mind as he finds other ways to arouse her. Now, he’s pulling the top of her dress down, switching positions with her again, alternating between kissing her lips and her breasts. It’s easy to follow him where he goes when he’s leading her through a dazzling trance, easier than it has ever been to follow him in any other way.

The storm slows only once as Roy’s lips brush against her ear with a stammering plea. “Do you want me to—can I keep going?”

Riza hardly recognizes the sound of her own voice when she gasps, “Please.”

Slowly, carefully, he enters her, with her dress hiked up above her hips. Despite the mild ache that comes with it at first, it feels better than anything she could have planned or imagined. Riza is shaking now. She buries her face in Roy’s neck and moans there, where only he can hear her, and she feels his excitement growing at the sound of it. He begins to thrust into her—clang, clang, clang, goes the piano—first at an even pace, which helps ease away her initial discomfort. When the tension disappears from her shoulders, she finds herself swaying against him hungrily. He varies from going exhilaratingly fast to tantalizingly slow—clang, clang, clang!—and at some point, she whimpers—

“Roy—"

It seems to awaken something feral in him. Everything he does with her is greedy now, from his kisses running clumsily from her neck to her lips and back, to his hands grabbing at every part of her that he can reach—and although she likes him like this, unhinged and at the same time in complete control, it makes her want to give him more than she is getting.

Riza pushes herself off the piano and into Roy, and he is more than willing to let her drive him down to the floor. There, she pulls at his hair as she kisses him, then shifts slightly so he can kiss her chest while she slowly sinks down and allows him back into her. Their rhythm is easier to find this time. She starts off at a pace that builds up the heat in her body just right, then later allows his hands and hips to guide her with more fervor and intent. Soon, the pleasure is just too close for her to wait any longer, and they are both overcome with an aching desperation—

“Roy”—she pleads, groans—“oh—"

“Riza—ahh—fuck—”

 “Don’t stop, don’t stop—"

Roy climbs over her, snaking his arms around her to grab at her chest, and he enters her from behind without breaking their rhythm, thrusting vigorously until and throughout her release. The rush, the bliss, the high is simply unthinkable—Riza presses her forehead down and bites her own hand hard to keep herself from screaming. She sinks into an ungraceful sprawl on the floor, drenched in sweat and tremors and Roy’s weight all over her body, but also as feeling if she were made purely of her sensations, with no physical body at all.

A moment passes, or two, or an eternity before she turns to lie on her back. Roy has collapsed next to her and entangled with her, so he adjusts to make way for her. She then finds herself looking up at him; Roy is leaning over her, seeming like an entirely different person with his gentle gaze, his tousled hair, his clothes only barely clinging to his body. His clothes—a reminder of who he is, and therefore, the gravity of what they have just done.

The high subsides almost as quickly as it came over her.

The room is piercingly silent as they scramble back to their feet and several meters away from each other. They keep their backs turned as they smooth their clothes back onto themselves and comb their hair into some normal, unquestionable style. Riza’s senses settle back into rationality at last. This was not a different way to play their old game. This was a temporary escape, a rare exception to her life’s unwavering rules.

“Riza.”

It’s unsettling how he says her name as if it were what he normally calls her, so she does not respond. Surely, he understands that what has just transpired between them must remain in the past, in favor of the reality that they left outside the door. Surely, he knows as well as she does that that reality has already resumed before they have even left the room.

He calls her name again. Riza, again, refuses to acknowledge him.

“Lieutenant.”

Her resolve wavers for only a moment. Riza knows exactly what he is doing. She knows her own excuse for this lapse in judgment—she knows how to keep it from happening ever again. But she can tell by his current insistence and his earlier passion that he doesn’t consider this a mistake like she does. This is, after all, exactly how he plays the game—head on, without hesitation. Roy has broken the rules more thoroughly than she has. He would have done so without her instigation. He has made perfectly clear the gamble that he is willing to make for her.

Riza turns, brushing past Roy and out of the room without so much as looking at him—leaving him behind the door, leaving as much of her selfish desires as she can possibly let go of—because she knows she must keep him from gambling everything away.

[loomis-maxima]

𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥

a/n :  this is... pure filth and i’m not even sorry, im also sleep deprived so if it sucks, my bad. word count : 4k requested : yes and no warnings :  18+ only/ mentions of drugs/threesome/unprotected sex/name calling yk.. all the good stuff. [ty to @anongirl007 for brainstorming shit w me]

It was known that Chishiya and Niragi were both men that liked getting what they wanted, and they both knew exactly how to get it. The problem with that is they’re both so similar, but so different. Niragi would use his placement in the Militans and his twisted love for inflicting fear, pain and murder on anyone that would get in his way or try and stop him from having what he truely desired. _______________ Almost nothing was worse than the feeling of entering a game that was literally based on luck. Even with such a simple task to pick between 3 pills. One, that will kill you the second you take it. The other two.. Not as bad. Separated from your game partners, you stared down at three simple pills on top of a simple desk. That’s all that was in the room, besides the door to get out. You assumed Niragi and Chishiya’s rooms looked similar. The thoughts of taking the wrong pill and having your life ended, sent fear through your whole body, but there was a feeling of adrenaline that rushed through you too. Maybe that explained the current.. situation.. That you had gotten yourself into with Niragi, basically signing yourself up to be used by him whenever he felt like it, but also all while wanting some part of Chishiya. If Niragi knew that his toy wanted someone other than him, he would be rabid, let alone that someone being the one Niragi hated the most… he wouldn’t hesitate to make you regret even having the thought of another man. Don’t get it mixed up, there was only one reason why he wanted you, and it definitely wasn’t in a romantic way, to him, you’re just a hole he could have anytime, any place. Which was fine for you.. But you couldn’t help but shake the want for Chishiya. Focusing your thoughts back on the objective at hand, you looked closely at the small pills before you. No matter how hard you thought, you couldn’t figure this out. Checking the time on the phone that was provided you saw that you had one minute left to make a decision. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if you ran out of time. Unlike Chishiya and Niragi, you didn’t observe the entrance to the separate rooms close enough to have figured this out. What you managed to miss was along the long hallway, there were three smaller hallways in front of them, all leading  to three different rooms. They both picked up the repeating numbers unlike you, leaving you to your game of luck.  With the sound of your phone alerting you that you had 30 seconds left to complete the game,  you could have swore you felt a bead of sweat roll down your forehead. Your heart pounded in your ears as hurriedly picked up the second pill,  the ten second countdown began. Without time to think you threw the pill into your mouth and swallowed it just before the countdown hit one. You closed your eyes tight,  waiting for something to happen. Nothing. ‘’I passed’’ you said to yourself quietly, opening your eyes to look around the room. The door in front of you that was once sealed shut was opening right before your eyes.  The feeling of relief quickly ran through your body as you exited the room before walking down another long white hallway to another door, leading you back out to the world. ________________________________ Unlike what you thought, the pill you ended up taking wasn’t the pill that had no side effects.. Instead, shortly after arriving at the Beach, you felt red hot all over your body,  your hands were clammy and there was a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You hoped Kuina couldn’t tell there was something up with you, especially not knowing what it was yourself. You could thank the blue light that's shining from the pool for slightly blocking out how red your face was. As you both  discussed the different games each of you had taken part in, you caught a glimpse of familiar long, dyed grey hair passing through the crowd. Once you could distinctly see Chishiya’s face you instantly felt that feeling in your stomach almost multiply. As he approached you and Kuina, he could quickly tell that something was up with you. Chishiya made note of the flush in your cheeks unlike everyone else, the way a couple of strands of your hair stuck to your forehead because of the heat that had taken over your whole body, the fact your pupils had largened, or the way your lips were slightly parted, almost as if you were lost for breath.. But not to the extent that  it was noticeable, except for Chishiya. He had studied every single detail on your face when you had first joined the Beach. Never admitting it though, deep down he knew how he felt about you, never to mention it or even hint at the idea. Chishiya knew that would make him look weak, and that was something he couldn’t have happen. Chishiya stood beside Kuina, his hood up but his head slightly back with an amused smirk lightly on his face. He raised an eyebrow at you, ‘’So what pill did you pick y/n?’’ he asked, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. His voice caused your ear tips to burn as you felt a sudden warmth between your legs.. Fuck. Trying to distract yourself from the feeling, that almost became painful, you racked your brain to remember what number you had chosen. ‘’Uh.. 2, I think, why?’’ you asked,  trying to keep your voice steady, not even believing your own voice. It looked as if Chishiya slightly chuckled at your answer, for a moment you wondered if he knew, but how would he?  Chishiya just shrugged a little before speaking. ‘’No reason, just curious’’ he lied right to your face, all while figuring out how to use this to his advantage. He knew had taken the middle pill just from one look at you, but he also knew exactly what was going to happen. Of course with just your luck, you had picked the one that just happened to be narcotics, crushed up and put into an empty pill capsule to match the appearance of the other too. You didn’t notice Kuina disappearing to join Arisu, until you noticed Chishiya take a step a little closer to you.  You also didn’t notice the eye contact he had made with Niragi across the pool, and that was the first step to his idea, this would’ve been the best advantage he could ever have had. ‘’You should really be careful with the pill you took’’ he said smirking slightly, intentionally trying to catch Niragi’s attention and have him come over. You didn’t know what to say, words being ripped from your brain as his slightly rough voice sent a feeling of a deep need to be fucked as you felt even more warmth leak from between your legs. He took your silence as his go ahead to continue speaking, ‘’you really shouldn’t be out here when the drugs fully take over if you think this is bad right now’’ What he said next was something you never would have thought of him saying this, ‘’you should go to your room, I’ll come after and help you’’ he spoke with a wink.  It was the most uncharacteristic for him- At least towards you. You took no convincing as you knew exactly what he meant, also not giving a shit about what would happen if and when Niragi found out. The almost pure animalistic feeling of lust ran over you. You didn’t care what would happen, you needed to be filled and it was gonna happen one way or another. ‘’Don’t take too long.’’ you said while nodding, then walking off back into the large building Just as Chishiya hoped, once you had retreated back inside to wait for him, Niragi had approached him. The wink that he had given to Niragi’s toy, was one step too far. Before Niragi could even open his mouth, Chishiya spoke. ‘’Before you start with your brainless insults and threats, you should know that in the game, you clearly didn’t know the effects of the pills.’’ he smirked, not fearing Niragi was always a benefit, especially when Chishiya could once show off his superiority and intellect. The two were rivals, both thinking that they were better than the other and would go to any lengths to prove it. But this time Niragi didn’t speak back as fast as usual, but the angry expression still resonated on his face, his tongue in his cheek, his pierced eyebrow raised while staring down the shorter man. With Niragi’s instinct he pressed the tip of his rifle right to Chishiya’s chest, ‘’well tell me, or I’ll blow your heart out in front of everyone here.’’ Niragi spat into his face, he hated how Chishiya could have the balls to even think of speaking back to him, the fact he didn’t fear him only intensified the hate for the intellectual grey haired man. Calling Niragi’s bluff, he let out a little scoff of air with a slight grin on his face as he spoke, ‘’You wouldn’t. Here’s why; if you kill me, you’ll never know. So unless you give me what I want, I won’t tell you.’’ he said, still standing strong even with the rifle pressed right against him. Niragi frowned right at him, he knew he was right. Niragi scoffed, his stubbornness working against him when he needed to know what Chishiya knew. After a few moments of silence, Niragi took the firearm from his chest. Chishiya knew this was risky, but he knew exactly how it would play out. Another competition between them. ‘’And what the fuck do you want?’’ Niragi said, his voice almost like a knife as the words came from his mouth. ‘’Considering I know you won’t let me have was I really want, I’ll compromise.’’ Chishiya spoke, standing up straighter and crossing his arms over his chest. Playing his cards right, he could get Niragi to agree before verbally agreeing. ‘’y/n took the wrong pill. Intense narcotics and assuming you right now, you took the right pill like me. The bad, or good thing about the drugs, is she’s going to be chasing a release that she won't be able to satisfy herself of.’’ He took a breath to try and let Niragi figure out what he means, except he didn’t. With another little chuckle under his breath Chishiya spoke out again. ‘’It means someone else has to do it. And knowing you wouldn’t let anyone fuck her, we’re both going to do it. Just another thing I’ll prove better than you at.’’ Chishiya knew the last comment would get under Niragi’s skin. With a slight nod of Niragi’s head and him accepting the challenge, it was set. ‘’Don’t be disappointed when you realise I’m the only one that can make her scream, Chishiya.’’ With a slight game plan of how they would go about this, the two rivals headed to your room. Niragi hung back a bit after knowing you were waiting for Chishiya. The thought of his property letting someone else have you made his blood boil, he’d make sure you knew it too. Ahead of him, Chishiya walked to your room and let himself in. But the sight that he had been greeted with almost knocked the wind out of his chest. You, lying naked on your bed, your skin almost looking hot as you had your head back with one hand holding your hair back from your face. Your eyes were shut as your other hand was roughly rubbing your clit, your fingers occasionally dipping into your entrance causing you to leave a visibly wet patch underneath you. The pleasure you were giving yourself was so needed that you weren’t aware of Chishiya entering and staring at you like you were his last meal. It was when you felt weight dip at the end of the bed and a hand running up your leg that you realised you weren’t alone. Your throat tightened and you removed your hand once you opened your eyes to see Chishiya moving his hand up to your core.  ‘’You really couldn’t wait huh?’’ he said, his fingers travelling up to where you needed him. You shook your head desperately, feeling your wetness dripping as you clenched pathetically around nothing. Chishiya smirked, looking down at your pussy, slowly dragging the tips of his fingers over your clit teasingly. The action made you almost cry out in need. ‘’Look at you.. So desperate.’’ you heard as you felt two of his fingers pushing into you before pulling them out and putting them into his mouth just as you made eye contact with him, sucking the wetness from you off them. Standing up he quickly pulled his clothing off. While pulling you to him and flipping you over onto your hands and knees, you facing the door. For reasons you wouldn’t know yet. Feeling you press yourself against him, Chishiya smirked to himself. ‘’You’re really desperate for it, aren’t you?’’ he said, running his tip along your folds, His words only pulling a whine and a nod from you, not understanding why he was dragging it out so long. You felt him lean over you to speak into your ear, his breath was harsh on the sensitive skin by your neck. ‘’As pretty as you are when you’re a mess, I won’t drag it out anymore, because I’ve waited too long to have this cunt all to myself.’’ . On the last word you felt his thick length slowly pushing into you, throwing his head back at the feeling of you around him. The pace he was going at was enough to break you fully. The feeling of him filling you as much as possible had you crying for more. In a desperate attempt to get some friction, you started grinding back against him causing his slightly curved dick to hit the right spot inside you, but slowly in and out. ‘’Chishiya please’’ you cried, burying your head into the sheets of the bed to muffle the whimpers that he was dragging out of you. He slowly started picking up the pace, each time hitting even harder and harder against you. Chishiya pulled your head back by your hair, your eyes rolling to the back of your head from the red hot feeling on your scalp that he had you in a rough grip by. ‘’Oh no y/n, you’re to call me Sir. Got it?’’ he groaned while fucking into you harder. Tears stung at your eyes, nodding as much as you could as he still controlled your head. ‘’Yes s-sir’’ As he was holding your head back and pounding into you, you opened your eyes and your heart almost stopped. Your eyes fell upon Niragi, standing right at the door leaning against it with his arms folded over his chest and he looked pissed.  The awkward part being is having locked eyes with him as Chishiya fucked you through your first orgasm, a scream being ripped from your throat from the feeling of finally getting release, but you needed more. Noticing you looking back at him he pushed himself from the doorway dropping his arms while walking over to you as Chishiya let you fall to your chest, but continuing his steady pace of pounding into you. ‘’Really Chishiya? Sir? What makes you think any part of you is sir?’’ Chishiya’s eyebrows furrowed, his hair disheveled and just snapped back at him. ‘’The part that has y/n crying because of how good I can fuck her.’’ Niragi  crouched in front of you with a look on his face that confused you. He almost looked amused. ‘’I knew it… You’re just a desperate little slut aren’t you?’’ Niragi said as he dragged his thumb along your cheek and across the tears that had run down your face from both pleasure and terror. He dragged his thumb across the tip of his tongue to taste the salty tears with a chuckle. Clinking of metal filled the room, the sound of Niragi’s clothes hitting the floor made you realise the situation you were in so you held yourself up with shaky arms that threatened to give way under you. Niragi smirked down at you as he ran his hand over the top of your head before harshly connecting the same hand to your face right after. Niragi knew exactly what you liked, and so did Chishiya as he felt you clench even harder around him as Niragi had marked your face. Knowing Niragi didn’t like to be kept waiting, you quickly opened your mouth for him to have full access to your throat. Putting his hand back into your hair, Niragi took hold of you as he pushed his cock between your lips, your throat opening up almost immediately, he basically had you trained. ‘’The only thing your mouth is good for is fucking.’’ NIragi said as he started thrusting roughly into your mouth. The timing of both men fucking you made sure you were always full, if Niragi wasn’t down your throat, Chishiya was buried in you, and vice versa. With the roughness of Chishiya’s thrusts caused Niragi’s cock to hit the back of your throat causing you to lose breath each time. They continued like this, using you at each end to their will. Niragi’s dick hit a little harder, causing your throat to close around his long length and choke. The feeling was so euphoric to Niragi he caught the back of your head and shoved your nose flush against his pelvic bone. He let out a mix of a laugh and a moan, almost sounding maniacal as he continued to ram your throat. ‘’That’s it, let daddy fuck your throat. I know you can take it’’ His words made Chishiya chuckle as he pulled out of your entrance, needing to take a break or else he would’ve cum right then. ‘’You’re so predictable Niragi… how pathetic’’ Chishiya’s words made Niragi’s assault on you stop, pulling his cock from your mouth. You coughed and spluttered trying to breathe, a task that was failing due to the burning in your core of feeling empty.  ‘’Please.. Just fuck me’’ you said breathlessly, laying back down with your hand once again travelling between your legs. Chishiya didn’t have to be asked twice, lying back against the bed he rubbed his hand over his now red cock. You didn’t hesitate moving over him and hovering above his length before he grabbed your hips and slammed you down on him. Another scream was pulled from you as he started to fuck up into you,  your hands that were once resting on his chest now by his head, holding onto his hair with your head buried in his neck as he continued to rail you. With moaning in his ear, and a mixture of your breathless voice begging for him to fuck you through another orgasm along with the sound of your broken voice repeatedly saying; ‘’sir’’ he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. You felt Niragi behind you, but didn’t pay much mind as you felt another wave wash over you. ‘’Fuck.. Yes, cum all over my dick’’ Chishiya said, somehow managing to hit a new speed as you cried out, moaning as you felt liquid rush out of you. Chishiya’s moan was sinful, he knew he was close but he couldn’t let himself cum just yet. Just as you felt the pleasure fade, you felt something cold drip on you from behind. A familiar feeling approaching as you felt one of Niragi’s long finger enter your hole that yet stuffed. The feeling wasn’t there for too long before you felt empty again, but soon that changed. Chishiya steadied his hips, realising what his enemy was now doing. You both heard Niragi moan, probably the sexiest moan you had ever heard, as your tight asshole slowly stretched to accommodate his huge dick. The pain of him shoving all of his length into your ass soon passed as Chishiya took the chance to start fucking you again. Your body went limp as both of their thrusts started to sync up, each time both as aggressive as each other. You didn’t even care that they made it into a competition, the feeling of having them both bottoming out of both of your holes was something you never experienced before, and might have just been the best. It wasn’t long after Niragi started to fuck your ass like his life depended on it, that your next orgasm washed over you. This one being so intense you couldn’t stop shaking and it felt like it never would end. More unintelligible mumbles of the words ‘’daddy’’ and ‘’sir’’ couldn’t stop falling out of your mouth. Both men enjoying the fact they broke you down finally, convinced they had literally fucked the brain cells out of you Niragi pulled you back against his chest, sinking back onto his heels so both men could continue chasing their own high. By the twitching of Chishiya’s cock inside you, you knew he was close, so was Niragi. ‘’Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking tight, I wonder how Niragi feels about me filling his little toy up’’ Chishiya said breathlessly, causing Niragi to animalisticly growl but not speaking due to being so close to spilling himself inside you. The grey haired man’s hands reached up to grab both of your breasts, pinching your nipples as one of Niragi’s hands coming down to your front before pinching your clit a couple of times. The sounds you were making almost made both men cum on the spot. You could see the desperation on Chishiya’s face, and hear the desperation in Niragi. ‘’My little slut ready? You gonna cum?’’ Niragi moaned into your ear, one hand still rubbing your clit desperately all while biting down on your ear, ‘’daddy’s gonna fill that ass so good’’ and thats all it took. Both men sensing you clench around them, they finally were reaching their own release. Niragi dropped you on your chest on top of Chishiya before leaning over you, his hand holding himself up above you and Chishiya. One of your hands twisting into Chishiya’s hair, the other being twisted into Niragi’s hair behind you. The pleasure from the last orgasm was so intense, you could feel yourself getting light headed, you tugged on both mens hair while you buried your face into Chishiya’s neck, his hot skin becoming stained with your tears, but in a good way. Chishiya guided one of his hand to the back of your head, almost a sweet gesture, except his thrusts faltered along with Niragi’s as they both finally peaked, both of them sinfully moaning and swearing under their breaths and both finally releasing inside of you. You thought you couldn’t cum anymore at this point, but the filthy feeling of having both men fuck their cum into both your holes sent you into overdrive, your final orgasm finally rushing through you, Niragi could tell and pulled you up slightly so he could rub your clit with lightning speed causing you to squirt everywhere. As you all rode your orgasms out, Niragi was the first to pull himself from you in time to watch his cum slowly drip out of the hole he had abused for so long. You lifted yourself, barely, from on top of Chishiya and lying on your back, struggling to breathe. Already getting dressed, Niragi commented to Chishiya, ‘’See? I am better at it than you.’’ Shaking his head but not moving to get up Chishiya spoke out, his own breathing irregular too. ‘’No, I think we might need to have round 2.’’

[systematicmasspoisoning]

Who is Sam's prison for?

If you're not up to date in DreamSMP lore, Awesamdude, resident Redstone expert, was paid stacks of diamonds by Dream to make an inescapable prison. It is located in the ocean next to Bad and Skeppy's mansion and is VERY large. Supposedly it will be using Elder Guardians to keep a prisoner from mining out due to Mining Fatigue. Even if the prisoner dies of hunger, they will respawn inside. This brings up the question of how

1. they force the prisoner to click a bed inside the prison

2. how they keep the prisoner from breaking the bed.

Regardless of the mechanics of the second one, I think the first is a clue as to who Dream will trap inside the prison. Consider the 3 canon deaths lore. He has used the threat of permanently killing Tommy to get the boy to comply and click on a bed in Logstedshire. So a 'permanent death if you don't comply' is definitely an effective tactic but ONLY for people with one life left.

The main two options are Tommy and Tubbo (or Philza). Or, Dream is planning on knocking another one of his potential opponents, such as Quackity, Fundy or Techno, down to one life in the time it takes to build the actual prison.

Quackity and Fundy aren't big enough threats yet, although Quackity certainly has the potential to be a threat, in this season of the SMP, El Rapids isn't big enough of a threat yet.

Most people would assume Dream's biggest enemies on the server are Tommy and Techno. Techno's role in the grand scheme of things is, as of now, undetermined. However, as Techno is one of the authors of this SMP season, he likely has something up his sleeve. He is currently 'retired' alongside Phil in their Antarctic Empire skins in a snowy biome, but he has made appearances in Tommy's streams to mock the boy for getting exiled (just like Techno predicted with the Theseus analogy.) An alliance between the sleepbois is possibly in the works, but right now, both Tommy and Techno have made it clear there is still a lot of animosity between them. So I don't see Techno, and by extension, Phil becoming much of a problem for Dream (for now.)

Tommy, on the other hand, has been visited by Dream almost every stream while Tommy is exiled; Tommy has been manipulated by him, gaslighted and threatened. Despite making the very real threat of giving Tommy his final death, Dream has stopped Tommy from any, um, self-harming actions. Dream told him "I need you alive." Narratively, that means that Dream has plans for Tommy (they are, after all, each other's main antagonist). But Dream has also said that Tommy will remain on exile for a long time and he told Bad and Sam as they were building the prison that he doesn't intend on using the prison on Tommy (unless he begins to act up was implied.)

Because Bad and Sam (and Eret) are working with Dream, I would assume imprisoning anyone from the Badlands is out of the question. But I think it's interesting how Sam is the primary leader of the building project.

Dream said that Sam is the only one who will totally know the ins and outs of the prison. So that possibly means Sam is the only one who would know how to escape the inescapable prison. The interesting thing about Sam being included in this storyline is his connections. He and Tubbo are very close, and Sam is also friends with Tommy. Its not long of a stretch to assume that Sam's storyline might eventually lead to HIM breaking out whoever Dream imprisons. Tommy, for now, is out of the equation, so who does that leave?

Tubbo. Someone who many people are now considering Dream's puppet. Dream has been laying on the manipulation lately, playing chess with him, complimenting him and trying to increase the wedge between Tubbo and Tommy. You would think Tubbo is safe, so long as he remains pacifistic and continues to make decisions that are to Dream's benefit. But there are things going beyond the scenes that we, the audience, need to consider. The script.

Symbolism and chekov's guns have been sprinkled into the story line for a long time, and it feels as though the roleplayers have upped the ante. It's hard to think about Ghostbur' compasses without crying, but I literally can't stop thinking about what they mean. When it comes to the duo, despite their estrangement, Tommy still considers Tubbo one of the most important things in his life. He placed the "Your Tubbo" compass right beside his discs in his enderchest. Meanwhile, Tubbo held his "Your Tommy" compass in his offhand nearly all stream today. They still care for each other, obviously, but think about one of the reasons Tubbo exiled Tommy in the first place.

He felt like Tommy was choosing the discs over everything else. He felt as though the discs were the only thing Tommy cared about. There has to be a resolution to this. It's been shown by the story that the discs and Tommy's other obligations (L'manberg, his friendships) cannot coexist together for long without it driving a wedge between them.

Tubbo has been streaming more Among Us lobbies and modded Minecraft lately. When he comes onto the server, he nearly has nothing to do. He loves big project and building houses, but as of now, Tubbo has so little materials to even bother making a home and his largest project, the ocean monument, has been placed on the backburner while Sam builds the prison. Its almost....its almost like Tubbo is preparing his audience and for a period of time where he has no reason to be on the SMP. If he's imprisoned, that's not very good content to watch, is it? I also noticed that Dream pointedly did NOT tell Tubbo about the prison today, instead referred to it merely as a 'project.'

My biggest theory is that the prison is for Tubbo. Tubbo is complacent to Dream now, sure, but Tubbo is very, very smart, and- most importantly to Dream - he still has one of Tommy's discs. And Dream wants it.

When talking sweet to Tubbo no longer works, I think the prison will be the next best option. Its possible Dream will frame Tubbo for some crime (foreshadowed by how Quackity and George tried to frame Eret for Karl's murder), or someone will threaten to overthrow Tubbo and Dream will bring him to a 'secure location' to protect him. Tubbo is very nervous about losing his one life, as exhibited by the safe room under the L'mamberg podium, and other comments about his fear of becoming the next Ghostbur. Dream said that he would protect Tubbo if someone tried to overthrow him. The only threats to Tubbo's current presidency is El Rapids. Ranboo is willing to wait until the next election to become president, but Quackity has shown a strong willingness to do terrible things in order to get power. In Quackity's war against Eret and Dream, Dream made many, many references to Tubbo being a better leader, possibly sowing jealousy in Quackity's mind. Sapnap, George and Karl, as apart of El Rapids also have a bone to pick with L'manberg and may also play a part in further separating Quackity from L'manberg and fueling his desire to be the most powerful nation on the server. Absorbing New L'manberg could be the next step.

Dream could pretend to protect Tubbo by bringing him to a 'safe location', the prison, and getting Tubbo to willingly set his spawn inside. Once it comes to light that it's a prison, with Dream his captor, Tubbo will have to make a decision. Give Dream the disc in his enderchest, or stay imprisoned. Freedom, or the disc, a compromise that has been made time and time again on this server.

I think that Tubbo will hold out and allow himself to be imprisoned, while Tommy returns from exile to make a prison break, with the help of Sam. I doubt that will end well, knowing Dream.

I also think at some point, one of the boys will need to bend. Either Tubbo choses to give up his disc to Dream for freedom, or he decides to take the disc with him to his grave. Its basically the Exile decision all over again. Life/freedom, or the discs/war. Selfishness vs. selflessness.

The two boys are learning throughout this current arc to be more like the other. Throughout his Exile, Tommy will learn to be self sufficient and has had to make big sacrifices consistently as Dream blows up the progress he's made. He's learning to chose his own life over property. Meanwhile, Tubbo (although he's only streamed on the SMP once so far this week) has already shown regret for exiling Tommy, and inherently by choosing to launch a war campaign against Techno, he is learning to chose war and bravery over peace and cowardice. He will gain an appreciation for the disks and/or recognize with greater understanding what they mean to Tommy. Maybe he will learn to care deeply for his compass and learns how willing he is to wage war if the compass gets stolen. It's about the symbolism - its what the object means that is worth protecting.

I think Tubbo will die protecting the discs. Or, Tommy will tell Tubbo to give it up. This is a better ending, in which Tommy will learn that the discs represent is his friendships. And, according to Ranboo, they also represent power, according to Ranboo. But on the server, according to Wilbur (when he asks Tubbo to spy for him) people have always represented power.

To Tommy, in this arc, I hope he will learn that keeping the discs is not worth losing his best friend.

[yanderart]

As the next installment in my bnha yandere pov series, I decided to fill a vampire!shouto request I got a while back (and thanks anon for the brain juice 🖤)

Below the cut is a little one-shot I wrote based on the portrait (todoroki x reader, 1.2k words, dark themes), so feel free to read it if it interests you~

   People like Shouto, you had come to learn from the source, took until they had no more to take. You had been warned of vampires like him before, the ones who were not content with just drinking and had to mark, had to own and consume. To them, humans were not just blood bags, but pets too.

    But you looked so lovely with his hands around your throat, he loved to tell you while caressing the puncture mark of his fangs, his fingers closing around you like an improvised collar.  

   Even if you had both entered an agreement at first, a set of rules put into place for your comfort and safeguard (humans might’ve been a commodity in your world at that point, but that didn't mean you weren't a costly one), soon enough you were quick to realize those same rules held little importance in the eyes of your somber creature.

    What had started as an exchange of blood for monetary compensation, a bargain you had shamefully entered out of pure necessity, had morphed with the passing of weeks. When he started worldlessly demanding more, silently coaxing you out of things you had never thought you’d be willing to give.

    This is okay, he’d say before latching again to your wounds, his tongue lapping at the blood trickling down while his eyes fixated on your pained expression. He should’ve stopped drinking, the numbness from blood loss quickly settling, but he hadn’t.

   This is okay, he repeated as he pushed, as he kept taking. 

   And you believed him.  

   He told you of his old life in detail while the forceful bond between you two grew, his attention suffocating you while he lingered despite having had his fill already. Between opened wounds and a pensive stare that never left your side, he would retell you his origins, the path that lead to his awakening, to the hunger he could not rid himself of now no matter how much he tried.

   A runaway noble who had fought against a preconceived fate, against the notion of what he was supposed to be, against parental pressure and the boot of a man who mistook obedience for affection. 

   “I’m sorry that happened to you”, you’d reply every single time, at a loss for his need to keep retelling the same story time and time again, “Ownership is not love, never will be.”

   And he stared at you so peculiarly then, not articulating a retort but hinting at his thoughts with a clouded stare.    

He had daddy issues, in other words. And mommy issues too, judging by the way his face would nuzzle against your chest as he asked you to keep combing through his hair. He was satiated, drank until you felt dizzy and frail, but refused to leave so you could go on with your life. Instead, he now seemed to dread letting you live without the shadow of his company.

   Although you think it was partly your fault as well, how the situation had no doubt escalated with time. Because as much as you scoffed, as you belittled the vampire inwardly, you couldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel just as intoxicating to be needed, to be remembered in a place where people like you were just another luxury for the upper class, another object for the rich to feast upon before tossing aside like playthings.

   Just a pretty little human, you’d been called your whole life. Blood bag, meal ticket, and much more unsavory terms. And yet in his arms, you couldn’t help but feel like you were of importance. 

   It filled your heart with a twisted sense of pride, to see a hunger crawling into Shouto's eyes that far outgrew the base desire of blood. To feel hands that crept up your sides as he fed, fingers that slid down your shirt and caressed your skin in a way most unbefitting of a strictly professional relationship.   

  To feel him grind against you, hands bruising as they gripped you, the rumble of his moans resonating deep within you, the weight of his words numbing your mind as they coaxed your body into returning his need with a necessity almost as alarming.

  Yet what had started with him just lightly fondling you between meals had also quickly transformed, Shouto taking advantage of the validation he knew you sought too, of the glimmer in your eyes whenever he praised you for being such a pretty little thing, and such an obedient one too.

  His appointments became more frequent, his carefulness slipping as your phone buzzed with dozen of texts and calls, of new demands and new rules, new terms of a business partnership which sounded less and less business-related as time went on.

  He started by demanding even more of your time, had the status to make sure you were available to him every second of every day, willing and waiting for his arrival.

   "You don't need to work anymore", he convinced you while he nuzzled your neck, his arms holding you more like a lover than a mere meal, and his voice dripping with an urgency far more telling, "anything you want, I'll provide."

  And soon enough, that too delved into convincing you of leaving behind your place, of moving into his luxurious house. He was your only worry now, the only thought worth preoccupying yourself with, and it was a matter of time before that too mutated, his need to own you full-heartedly becoming even more apparent.

   His tongue stopped darting against the wounds his fangs opened, seeking to heal, and stopped nursing the bruises his too eager hands created in the height of his feedings. All of your body became a canvas of his work, a testament to his artistry, and judging from his wondrous stares you wondered if he didn't consider you his masterpiece. 

You hadn't commented on it, because he had taken advantage of your lack of expertise, of your lack of knowledge about vampire-human etiquette, and the alarming lack of decorum exhibited by him every step of the way. 

   However, you also were smart enough to notice how he started handpicking the places for his ministrations. He went from your wrists to your neck, to the expanse of your stomach… and now your thighs, your chest, your hips. He smiled as he marked you, telling you it was better to change places before your veins became too abused by his constant prodding (and, certainly, not ever commenting on how it could all be solved if he just closed the injuries he opened himself, instead of leaving you wounded and weakened).

   He would press his nose against the crook of your neck, drunk on your scent as well as your blood, and urge you to keep running your fingers through his locks.

   His lifeline, he called you with a tinge of urgency, a heat that unnerved you as much as it fascinated you.

  How intoxicating it was to feel wanted, so enrapturing that you hadn’t realized just how much you were willing to compromise.

Even when you stopped needing the money, when you became dependent on his charity altogether, all of that became secondary. A red flag so blurred it blended against the scarlet liquid dripping down your skin.  

   Even as his blood-covered mouth crushed against your own in a staggering kiss, even as you felt the taste of your own life entering your mouth and sliding down your throat.

   Even as his hands discarded your clothing, demanding, overwhelming, and he guided and persuaded you until you were no more than pliant dough in his hand, his to take and his to mold.

   While he had an eternal hunger for blood to keep him company, Shouto had conditioned a different kind of need to be awakened in you. A kind of overwhelming need, a longing you did not understand but felt.

  And one only he could satiate.

                                                       -----

And special thanks to @reinawritesbnha, @snappysnapo, @eevwrites and @thermaflute for hyping me to hell and back and helping me through the process. Y’all are amazing and motivate the hell outta me :,)

🥀 Requests/Suggestions OPEN 🥀

And, as always, click on the image for the HQ version 🖤

[writtenwyrm]

The Ascension

A Slay the Spire story, Part 4

All Parts

I resolved to fast until I discovered what I was meant to discover. Abusing my body in such a way was dangerous, but I had plenty of practice, and I much preferred a voluntary fast to an involuntary one, when I inevitably ran out of food and water.

I didn’t wait for the hunger to set in before making more attempts, of course. I searched deeply with my perception, starting with the whole room and then moving on to one spot at a time when that failed to give me results. I even spent the time to search every inch of floor and wall by hand, just in case whatever I was searching for was entirely spiritually inert, and it could only be discovered by my mundane senses.

I felt nothing, though, and found nothing. Neither my perception or my hands gave me the key to escape.

Which meant one of several things. Either I was looking in the wrong place, I needed to search with a sense I didn’t have yet, or the stone faces had been lying. Considering the final option meant there was little I could do, I discarded it. I was also fairly sure I’d searched everywhere I could search, even as far into the walls as my Sight could reach.

Which left me with the second, hardest option, of discovering a new sense.

The hunger had begun to set in at this point.

A fast is a specific, intense form of meditation. Depriving one’s body of nutrients and energy can cause it to produce emergency signals. It will begin to devour itself, and bad fast can be damaging or even deadly.

But if done right, it can be a form of blackmail against the body. You see, if you hold food hostage, and demand results or change, sometimes your body and brain will comply.

This works most effectively with mental change, of course. The world is built upon steadfast rules, and cannot be held blackmail. Your arms will not grow strong by depriving them of nutrition. Your health will not improve if you do not have the energy to heal.

But our understanding of the world can be fluid and subjective. And if you cause deliberate delirium, hunger, and stress, you can influence what that understanding looks like. That is the true power—and danger—of fasting and meditation. You will find exactly what you are looking for. You can believe whatever you want to believe, and discover whatever you want to discover.

Because the one thing a fast cannot do is find objective Truth. Your experience will be entirely your own, and any who claim their visions require actions and beliefs on the part of someone else is mistaken or malicious.

I hoped to take advantage of this. Perhaps I would discover the foreign influence the wall had implied would be available, but at the very least I could cause a change within myself. So, berift of anything else to do, I began to meditate.

Thoughts swirled through my mind.

That was normal. My role was simply to observe them.

Fear was very present, everywhere I looked. I was injured, trapped, and hungry. Of course I was frightened.

I acknowledged my fear, and while it became no less powerful, it became less controlling.

It became easier to feel my other thoughts then. A simmering anger and impatience. Familiar, that was. Before my time training under the divinities, I had been a very volatile child. Those impulses hadn’t gone away. I still often felt misunderstood, and urges to attack and take what was mine often bubbled to the surface.

I still desired power.

But my years of meditation had given me a better understanding of that anger. I wished to protect myself, and to gain justice for misdeeds done. I had learned when that could be accomplished with anger and destruction, and when it required calm and peace.

I acknowledged the anger, and moved on. This situation made me furious, but it could not be solved with lashing out.

Confusion, boredom, excitement, intimate urges, a sense of weariness. One by one, I stopped to observe the emotions and thoughts that made up who I was. This was not a short process. Most meditations were quicker, and less thorough. But I had time to spare, and thus I could work my way through every seemingly innocuous or irrelevant emotion, from the desire for something sweet to eat, to the slight, rather uneasy attraction I’d experienced toward the very muscled Cleric, to the vague soreness my thighs were beginning to experience from the hard stone beneath me.

I don’t know how long it took. Days, most likely. Perhaps less, since I had already been rationing my food before I began the fast.

And yet eventually I found myself lying back on the stone, pondering the words the face had spoken, and occasionally acknowledging the terrible pangs of starvation my stomach was sending me.

What did foreign influence mean? Foreign to the spire? Foreign to me? Foreign to the faces in the walls?

I wondered, briefly, what magic had caused those faces. Were they sentient, trapped? Simply a script, recited for each person that passed? Something else entirely? Were they fulfilled?

Other people had passed by here. Cleric had said so, and mentioned some were like me. Others weren’t, though. Perhaps they were the foreign influence?

I could not reach them, though, even if they had once passed this very hallway. They were out of range, and I was stuck here in this limited space.

It was a strange experience, feeling the delirium, understanding it was simply my mind struggling to think in a straight line, and succumbing to it anyway. An unusual sort of awareness of insanity, however temporary.

Because those other adventurers were still here, in a way, weren’t they? Perhaps not in space, but in time. Of course, I could not stretch my perception through time to See them, but the Divinities had such a grasp on reality they could very nearly do just that. Perhaps I could pretend I could do the same. I reached out, gripping invisible threads that led backward through time, threads that felt uncomfortably real in my weak grip.

I imagined I was someone else, a warrior clad in iron armor. Perhaps that earlier fight with the bird-thing would have been easier. Perhaps he would have been even more frustrated by this imprisoning.

Or maybe I had joined a clan of assassins, rather than my order. Dealing in death, rather than growth. I wondered if it would have been more fulfilling, in a way.

Cleric had mentioned mechanical creatures. I could hardly imagine what it would be like to be born of metal and magic, but I was already feeling rather floaty, perhaps I could—

The wall shifted away with a deep rumble, and I was free.

Slowly, I sat up. Before anything else, I reached into my bag for a few pieces of dried meat. Not particularly delicious, but slow to eat and filling, good for a stomach that was threatening to cramp. I alternated with sips of water, and wondered.

I wondered how I had changed.

—-

I was still pondering a few floors later, as I entered yet another room. I was feeling much better now, and a little rest and food had returned me to fighting shape.

This was good, because I ran into the Sentries, just as Cleric had warned.

They were tall, mysterious objects, floating in the middle of the room. I assumed they were powered by the faintly glowing orbs in their centers. I hadn’t been spotted yet, but they were clearly on patrol, circling the center of the room. The moment I stepped in, I was certain to provoke an attack.

Yet, this seemed like a good fight for me. My focus on speed and multiple enemies would make this more straightforward battle.

Besides, as far as I was aware, this was the only path up.

After doing a mental once-over to be sure I was ready, I stepped inward, calming my beating heart with the mantra.

The fight began.

The Sentries flew over toward me, and began to circle at a wide berth. The crystal spheres at their centers started to flash, faster and faster.

First, I would see what they could do. Watching carefully, I kept my feet light, turning to follow them as best I could. One of them came too close, and I gave it a sidelong swipe with my staff, avoiding committing to anything that would leave me vulnerable.

The first one finished charging, and blasted a sudden beam of lancing light at me.

Ready for it, I rolled to the side. The others were preparing similar attacks, the flashing crystals growing brighter and brighter as they spun.

I leapt forward, braced my feet, and crashed into one of them as they spun. The other two, following rapidly, crunched into the backside of the one I had stopped, compounding the damage. I could see the core crack, and they staggered—as much as floating, limbless machines can stagger.

A quick follow-up chipped a large chunk out of the Sentry in front of me. As they struggled to reorient themselves, I took my last opportunity to strike and wedged the end of my stave in the hole, twisting it hard. The core shattered, and the machine crumbled.

This left me with just enough time to dance out of the way as another lance of light clipped my leg. It stung, but not too bad.

The flashing lights were getting brighter. Or, no, not brighter. They were simply building up behind my eyes. I was physically blind, and yet my spiritual sense was struggling to keep up, as if I’d been staring at the sun for too long. Wherever I Looked, the remnant of the flash stuck, distracting from the rest.

It was unsettling, but not too bad. Yet.

I decided not to let it build up to the point where it was a problem. Pushing through the afterimages, I chased after the next Sentry. Distracted as I was, I didn’t feel confident in lashing out with anger, so I left my mantra calm and stable, blocking the next beam with the head of my stave.

I swung… and missed. The afterimages were so similar in my Sight to the crystal cores themselves that I wasn’t sure which one attack. Hesitating, I stepped back, just in time to avoid yet another searing beam.

I had to regroup. Stretching my perception to the limit took concentration, but perhaps I could use it to cut through the backlash. I reached, and grabbed… something.

The sentry in front of me was nearly done charging. I could destroy it, possibly, but only if I used Wrath.

I decided the risk was worth it. Lunging forward with powerful notes suddenly surging through me, I swung my staff around behind the orb, and then yanked it closer, following up by slamming my forehead into it with all my might.

Momentary confusion made me pause. A headbutt? Why, by all the gods, had I done that?

And yet instead of intense pain, I felt a sudden clarity. I was tempted to attempt another bash, and cause the last two sentries to bowl into each other as I had done in the beginning. The anger thrumming through me demanded revenge for the minor injuries I had taken. But I realized that would just leave me in point-blank range for the attack the other enemy was charging. All this one needed was one more strike and—

I crushed it with the head of my staff, then leapt backwards. As the flashing light of the last Sentry built to a crescendo, I stopped. With one deep breath, I returned to humming calm vigilance, and forced my pumping heart and frantic muscles to relax.

I sidestepped the next beam, and I knew the fight was over.

I took my time. The remaining flashing orb was still disorienting, but it took time to charge to fire, and so long as I was patient I could dodge and defend, and whittle it down after each shot.

When it was over, I allowed myself a small smile, and lowered myself to the ground amidst the piles of broken crystal and lifeless metal to meditate on my battle.

[mybg3notebook]

Gale: Hypothesis and Analogies – Part 1

Here, I compile several hypotheses that are pretty common to find around, expressing my opinion on them and showing what EA has given us so far to justify them or not. 

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

Disclaimer about interpretations of Real Life concepts: I’m not a fan of bringing real life issues into plain analogies/allegories in a game which intention in doing so was not made explicit, but the fandom seems to like this aspect and therefore I would like to share those opinions here as well since some seems reasonable despite not being of my taste. This topic may be sensitive for some people. Be aware of it.

Hypothesis: Gale was groomed

Concept

Grooming is building a relationship, trust, and emotional connection with a child or young person (and sometimes their family as well) to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. Grooming allows offenders to slowly overcome natural boundaries long before sexual abuse occurs. On the surface, grooming a child can look like a close relationship between the offending adult, the targeted child and (potentially) the child’s caregivers. The grooming process is often misleading because the offender may be well-known or highly regarded in the community. As a result, it’s easy to trust them. Although grooming is more common among children, it may happen with adults too, especially in work environments.

Stages: First, perpetrators may target and exploit a child’s perceived vulnerabilities: emotional neediness, isolation, neglect, a chaotic home life, or lack of parental oversight, etc. They work to gain the trust of parents/caregivers to lower suspicion.

Once the perpetrator begins to fill the child's needs, they may assume a more important role in the child's life. Perpetrators utilize tactics such as gift giving, flattery, gifting money, and meeting other basic needs. Tactics may also include increased attention and affection towards the targeted child. The perpetrator uses isolation tactics to reinforce their relationship with the child by creating situations in which they are alone together or by cultivating a sense that they love and understand the child in a way that others, even their parents, cannot. 

Once emotional dependence and trust have been built, the perpetrator progressively sexualizes the relationship. When sexual abuse is occurring, perpetrators commonly use emotional manipulation; they make the child believe they are the only person who can meet their emotional and material needs. The child may feel that the loss of the relationship, or the consequences of exposing it, will be more damaging and humiliating than continuing the unhealthy relationship. 

Behavioural consequence

The consequences on victims of grooming tend to be very different depending on the victim's age, personality, and psychology, but some broad leftover traits or behaviours can be summarised as:

They are too eager to please and have a great avoidance of angering others.

Big desire for privacy: they know others will not understand what they lived.

The victim becomes withdrawn, or they may seem troubled by something but unwilling to talk about it. Alternatively, their emotions might become more volatile.

They tend to be unaware of the abuse for a long while even after the relationship ended. 

If they are aware, they tend to display shame and embarrassment for what happened.

They can suffer abandonment issues depending on the way this relationship ended. 

They tend to develop difficulties to maintain relationships.

This situation tends to be particularly invisible or dismissed for men and boys due to social norms about masculinity.

Inside the context of BG3

First, it's important to estimate Gale's age. More or less the fandom agrees he is currently (1492DR) in his early 30s. Mystra returned in 1479DR (read the post about "Mystra and her Chosen ones" for details), so Mystra may have lured Gale into serving her as Chosen when he was around 17 years old (this depends on every player’s perception of Gale’s age)

This gives us a good estimation of the context: When Mystra returned thanks to Elminster—who gave her most of his Silver Fire—she immediately started to strengthen her network of Chosen ones and to work on repairing the Weave to its original state. Due to this unique context, Gale may have been observed by Mystra as a precious asset: a very young wizard who could not only control the Weave but compose it: a great skill to repair a still weak Weave. Furthermore, in the novel Dead Masks (1491DR), it is stated that the best way to cast a spell with a weakened Weave is to "twist" it instead of using it for tapping into the Raw Magic. In this book it is not clear if this is a skill that only Chosen ones have, but it has a strong similarity with Gale's skills.

Although we don't know much about Gale's childhood, if he was neglected or not as a child to be more easily lured by the Goddess, we can agree that it's most likely that Mystra has been watching him as a potential candidate since a child. Gale explicitly says: "I’ve been in touch with the Weave for as long as I can remember". And as far as Forgotten Realms lore goes, Weave and Mystra are the same. We also know that this is a common behaviour of Mystra who has been watching precocious, skilful wizards before choosing them for her goals: for example, Midnight. 

When Gale reached an age that could be considered a "(very) young man", she seduced him, using his passion and love for Magic to lure him. She offered him a deep connection with her and with the Weave: with Magic itself. After seeing Gale's passion for magic, it is understandable that he—as a teenager or a young man—must have been dazzled by her and her proposal. We know that, in the novel Elminster: a mage in the making, she offered to Elminster exactly what he wanted the most: power to make his revenge possible . By the end of the encounter, Elminster became “charmed” by her despite hating her throughout all his life, turning into her devotee. This situation can be interpreted as another example of how Mystra works: she seems to lure her potential Chosen with the promise of giving them what they are most passionate about.

Once Mystra slept with her Chosen, and imbued her divine essence on them, she left them to their own devices, making them wait for her commands. In Elminster’s and Sammaster ‘s case, both were put under tests, being forced—by their own drive to please the Goddess—to develop more magic and personal skills to serve her. In the process, both developed an obsession for her. Elminster's seems to be less self-destructive than Sammaster's, but the latter could be understandable since he always suffered from madness. My point is, the pattern continues with Gale: driven by this obsession of wanting Mystra close, to please her, Gale tried to control an ancient magic, and failed, being abandoned by Mystra due to this mistake.

Gale, according to this interpretation as a victim of grooming, is still stuck in the process: he wants to please Mystra, wants to right his wrongs, even though in some scenes he seems to have been over her, in others he still seems to be very attached to her (it's hard to know which is the most accurate since it's EA and Gale was rushed), he keeps all this trouble in private because he knows nobody will understand.

Unlike an adult who realised he was victim of grooming, Gale seems to be still not over that relationship, showing many of the behavioural consequences: 

Gale is a person who is always eager to please and avoid confrontations. If there is no choice he will use violent means, but he will always push for diplomatic approaches [1,2]. This trait seems to favour this interpretation.

He has a strong sense of privacy to the point that he is considered "shady". A lot of that desire for privacy may come from the fact that he knows no one will understand the unique relationship he had with a bigger entity. This can be seen by choosing the meanest options during the Weave and the Loss. Despite his many troubles, he remains secretive, acknowledging that "some things can't be spoken". 

He is completely unaware of having been a victim of such power imbalance. He doesn't see abuse in it, and he is not performative about this fact, since he is very private on the topic until very late in game.

Nobody can deny his abandonment issues (which are even explicitly pointed out in the dev's notes) [20]

We can infer, by all the information given, that Mystra has been his first (and presumably only) relationship so far, giving a possible hint that he may have decided not to enter another relationship again or may have felt apprehensive about it (even though I personally think this impediment is mainly caused by the “orb”).

I don't completely subscribe to this interpretation because I don’t think Mystra’s main goal has been sexual abuse, but the creation of servants and devotees that allow her to expand her power. To do so, she uses sex as part of the “ritual” that transforms certain mortals into Chosen Ones. The way in which this is indirectly explained in the novels makes me remember the concept of Zeus and his abuse of mortals: he spreads part of his divinity in the form of demi-god offspring. In Mystra’s case, she seems to leave part of her divinity in the Chosen one that slept with her: the “seed” of semi-divinity. 

However, it’s not clear if sleeping with her Chosen ones is a procedure she always does. Her daughters may have inherited her divinity when she conceived them while possessing a mortal body, but other female Chosen Ones seemed to be out of this process. Ed Greedwood also has a constant discourse in his novels where he explains that magic is “better” understood or much easily wielded by females because “they are connected to their emotions” and another stereotype of this kind. What seems to be clear is that Forgotten Realm lore hides as much as possible its queerness, and when it comes to Mystra, this habit of sleeping with her Chosen seems to apply (or at least make it more explicit) only to male mortals. So in short, her main goal was to catch another useful mortal to her group of Chosen Ones, and to do so, she lured Gale with all what she could offer. I also believe gods are gods, and they are immensely overpowered and entitled to do whatever they want in this fantasy world. They don't follow mortal rules, so they may have little scruples to do anything they see necessary to achieve their own goals, no matter if the consequences of their actions affect children, teenagers, or adults. 

Mystra in particular has been a very neutral goddess (due to her many rebirths), not particularly cruel as an evil deity could be, but not completely selfless either: she has conceived her daughters using a mortal vessel who previously gave her consent but without knowing the consequences of giving birth each year for a decade while containing a goddess inside. Mystra also profited off of Sammaster's madness (some Harpers who wrote Sammaster’s reports suspect she could have been able to cure him): she may have actively decided not to in order to let his genius madness increase her realm of power/magic. Therefore, Mystra may have had little scruples to use a very young Gale enamoured with magic to turn him into another Chosen whose skills could fix the Weave given the context that it had been severely weakened after the Spellplague. So the grooming is not completely misplaced in my opinion.

Gale's Chosen selection process is not different to what we can read in the book of the Cult of the Dragon, where Sammaster became obsessed with Mystra after sleeping with her and developed metamagic as a consequence to impress her. Or in the novel Elminster, the making of a mage, where Elmister originally despised Mystra and every magic user. However, after being in her presence, he fell for her charm, and never could get over his "love" for her, suffering a lot of painful circumstances to just be a "good devotee" and serve her.

Mystra is written in most novels as the living allegory of the beautiful "mean" woman who will always ask for more from her poor captivated men, but she will never be completely satisfied, no matter how much they sacrifice. She acknowledges the effort, but she is always asking for more. Only with Elminster she actively tried to save him from the Hells, showing, for a change, that her Chosen can be a bit more than mere pawns in the big game of divine power. However, it's important to highlight that the last rebirth of Mystra has changed her: in the novel Dead Masks some of the Seven Sisters explicitly say that Mystra has turned paranoid, asking each of her Chosen to do missions that the others cannot know. She has become more secretive and cryptic than ever. 

Mystra's actions seem to have worse connotation if we think that she can have visions of the future, as she had when she decided that Sammaster had to be her Chosen: she had foresaw the death of another Chosen and she wanted him to fill that vacuum before the event happened. So she may have foreseen Gale’s actions in his naive way to impress her. Maybe she wanted him to do it, so she could have a new piece of magic in her realm. But this is mere speculation, we will need the full release of the game to have the answer.

As I explained, despite not being a fan of it, the interpretation of grooming is not a bad one. It fits mostly if it's applied to a teenage boy, and probably it would have been taken a bit more seriously and less prone to jokes inside the fandom if Gale were a female character and Mystra a male God. 

Hypothesis: Gale has abandonment Issues

Concept

Abandonment issues arise when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. A fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety. It often begins in childhood when a child experiences a traumatic loss. Children who go through this experience may then begin to fear losing other important people in their lives. Some individuals continue to fear abandonment as they grow older. Although it is less common, abandonment issues can also sometimes begin in adulthood. 

The loss often stems from a trauma, such as a death or divorce. Emotional abandonment, where a parent or caregiver is physically present but emotionally absent, may also give rise to abandonment issues later in life. It is not clear what makes one person develop this fear, since not all humans who have experienced similar losses do it. Trauma — potentially from abuse or poverty — may play a role, as may the level of emotional support that a person receives following a loss. These issues can have a significant effect on a person’s life and relationships because they fear that the other person will leave them at any moment. 

Behavioural signs/consequences

Being overly eager to please ( a “people pleaser”) 

Pushing others away to avoid rejection

Jealousy of the partner or the others when in a relationship.

Trouble trusting their partner's intentions.

Feeling insecure about their relationships.

Codependency

Need for continuous reassurance that others love them and will stay with them

Persisting in unhealthy relationships

Inability to maintain relationships: or moving quickly from one relationship to another or sabotaging them

Inside the context of BG3

I'm not going to explain this in great detail since it's spread in most of the posts I’ve done about Gale's analysis. What it's clear is that Gale has a constant fear for abandonment once he starts caring for Tav as a friend or/and lover, and this fear makes him prone to do things of poor taste. This fear seems to make him look for acceptance that only through a night of intimacy can give him. This information is apparently in the book he read, making us guess that his experience with relationships is rather poor if nonexistent. Dev's notes also reinforce the idea that Gale fears abandonment:

Gale: It is my truth, finally revealed. It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through. After the night we spent together. Surely we can brave even this side by side Dev's note: Solemn. Full of yearning, his news will not lead to him being abandoned by the player. 

Gale: Loyalty is such a… such a very rare commodity. Dev's note: The reference to loyalty foreshadows Mystra leaving him. 

So far in EA, we can see that Gale checks some behavioural consequences of this fear: he is always eager to please, approaching Tav with courtesy and jovial manners, only displaying his most acidic side to a Tav whose actions are evil. In that case, Gale cares little if Tav leaves him. With the Loss scene we can see that it is hard for him to give his trust to others, pushing them away because they would not understand the grave mistake he made. His trust demands constant progression from the Stew scene, to the Weave, to the Loss scene. If he is romanced, he asks several times if Tav is thinking of the Weave moment. When Tav asks him this question, Gale will deflect, always asking back to have Tav’s answer first before giving his: it could be interpreted as Gale looking for constant reassurance in the blooming relationship. 

However, in my opinion, the best situation that shows his abandonment issues is during our meeting with Gandrel. Gale disapproves of handing over Astarion, by telling Tav about an anecdote of a dog turning old and mean: how his friend got rid of the animal just because it was an inconvenience. This is very curious since Gale's mistrust for Astarion is not a secret: he stated many times that Astarion is a danger to the group, and his wickedness causes him to strongly dislike him. The reason for this is quite obvious if we see both lists of approvals: mostly what one approves the other disapproves. Despite all this, Gale strongly judges Tav for handing Astarion over, and his disapproval for doing it shows that Gale is not lying on the matter: the meta-knowledge is trustworthy information. 

This can be understood better when Tav defends Astarion against Gandrel: Gale approves twice of defending him. If Astarion is not in the group when meeting the monster hunter, the first approval happens when Tav recognises that Astarion is part of their companions/friends (therefore, Tav is showing care for their group). The second approval happens when Tav reinforces their loyalty to Astarion insisting that they won’t give his location (this is a clear display of loyalty that Gale acknowledges as rare. See the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Proposition to Cheat" for more details). Although Gale will explicitly question this decision, he secretly approved it (the approvals we saw are meta-knowledge: only the player sees them). Considering the undeniable context that Gale deeply dislikes Astarion, we may interpret this as Gale seeing in Tav a loyal person who will not abandon someone they care for, even if that person endangers them. Loyalty is something that resounds deeply in Gale due to his abandonment issues. 

 Another detail on this matter can be seen during the party. If Tav arranges spending the night with a companion and then asks (non-romanced) Gale the same, he will answer:

Gale: You are all too quick to abandon the one you promised yourself to. It’s not a quality I admire.

This line shows that first, Gale is not interested in casual sex; he needs the connection that the Weave provides and Tav’s explicit, previous romantic interest in it. Second, when Gale is romanced but Tav sleeps with someone else, Gale will not interfere in that affair, but he may not like it (due to his, I suppose, jealous comment since he doesn’t display an approval penalty for this). However, he seems to equate loyalty with commitment, understanding that affair as a fling but believing he still holds the romantic interest of Tav, hence his proposition the next day. More details in the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Proposition to Cheat".

---------

Sources for both parts:

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( 5V)

Some concepts were summarised from: https://melcrowecounsellor.com www.d2l.org/child-grooming-signs-behavior-awareness/

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

[cherry-draws]

[Master Kohga x Reader] Fantasy Night

Warning : this One-Shot contains sensuality, but not sexual scenes or violence.

Here is my first x Reader text, I'm not fond of this kind of litterature so I decided to do one in my way. I hope you'll enjoy it, do not hesitate to leave me a comment if you have any question or suggestion !

It had been a while since you joined the yiga clan, and you had gotten used to it faster than you thought. Contrary to what rumors might suggest, it didn't sound so much like a cult, although headed by a leader, you were more like family. As a simple yiga footsoldier, you spent your days on a mission, roaming the endless and verdant plains of Hyrule. Fearing that you would be reprimanded if you came home empty-handed, you often made arrangements to bring back food or rupies. During your days off, you liked to alternate rest time and activities with your circle of friends.

That evening, a party was organized to celebrate an achievement: your clan had managed to steal the Thunder Helm, a sacred relic belonging to a people living in a distant city in the desert. It was a unique object, allowing protection against lightning, and which could be resold at a high price.

Some members, whith coocking habilities, had been busy preparing multitudes of banana-based dishes: pancakes, fruit chutneys, salads, cakes, etc.

Everyone was gathered, including your leader, Master Kohga, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

The party had dragged on until late at night, and while most of the members had gone to bed, the more reckless ended up dozing off in the kitchen.

You were part of it, except you weren't asleep, you were pretending. You glanced fondly at a sleeping footsoldier in the arms of an officer. It didn't surprise you, indeed, you had suspected them of feeling an attraction to each other for some time.

You too were secretly attracted to someone from your clan. Lying on your side, your head resting on your left arm, your right leg drawn back to your chest, you watched in silence, almost holding your breath. You hadn't told anyone about it, you did everything to show nothing. The truth is, you weren't interested in the slim, skinny bodies of your fellow underlings, nor did you look at the sturdy, muscular figures of the officers, who tended to impress you. No, the one you were interested in, was him.

Kohga was different on this point. He had generous shapes, and that's what appealed to you.

You took a certain pleasure in watching him as he slept, full, his back leaning against the wall, his chin tucked slightly towards his chest. Those slender arms, that flat chest, that round belly, those broad thighs ... How many times had you wanted to get closer and curl up against his body, how many times had you hoped for a brief physical contact? Still, you didn't feel like you had romantic feelings, it turned out mostly to be respect mixed with fascination. You were just physically attracted to him, and you considered it guilty pleasure. Of course, everyone in the clan thought Kohga was charismatic, but did everyone else feel the same? A part of you was telling yourself that it wasn't normal to be attracted to this type of physique, that you shouldn't think of such things to your leader, but you quickly pushed the idea out of your mind. . You especially wanted to take advantage of this moment to watch it with impunity, while you gradually let yourself fall asleep.

Some kinds of complaints pulled you out of your drowsiness, you tried to ignore them at first, but their persistence prevented you from going back to sleep. Intrigued by their provenance, you stood up awkwardly, leaning on your hands and shook your head. Once you woke up, you realized Kohga was no longer sleeping. He was standing in a position of some discomfort and moaning loudly, which made you feel worried.

"M-Master Kohga ... is everything okay?" Are you hurt?

-Yes, I think .... that I am a victim of indigestion ... I should never have eaten so much tonight ...》

Looking around the surroundings, you realized that you were completely alone, the last members had probably ended up going to bed. You think for a few seconds about what to do.

“Um ... I think you'd be better in your bed. I ... if you wish, I can take you in your bedroom.

-Impossible, I can't even ... get up ... I'm going to stay here until it's over. Do not worry about me. You can go to sleep ... ah, ouch!”

Seeing him bend over in pain, for the first time since you joined the clan, you refused to obey. Your instinct seemed to take over your reason, and your body began to act on its own.You knelt down and grabbed his left hand in your hands, then your eyes met. Your heartbeat quickened slightly as you felt a new sensation run through your body. This physical contact, that you dreamed of so much had just happened, and you saw your chance to get closer.

"Sorry. I cannot leave if you are not feeling well. Let me heal you. I know a method, I know how to practice a kind of massage ... if it doesn't work, I will go and tell the others. Please.

-I'm really in pain ... do what you want but do not stay there doing nothing, it's an order!

-Shhh ... Calm down. All I need is you to relax and let me go. I promise you'll feel better soon. "

The impulses, which you tried to hide from the eyes of others since the day they manifested themselves, were felt more and more. At this point, you had no other choice but to let them express themselves.

The next moment you were leaning over Kohga, your face barely three feet from his, massaging his belly. Your hands were back and forth in circular movements, your thin fingers tapped lightly or bent back from time to time. You could easily feel his skin stretched through the fabrics, you weren't content just to contemplate his curves, now you could touch them. You had to restrain yourself to not undo his belts. Could you afford it? Was he going to let you do it without showing opposition ? Did you just wanted to keep its from hurting, or was it just to give yourself more freedom? On the other hand, you liked to see those bands of leather tightening more and more against his flesh, and seeing them burst due to pressure would probably not have displeased you. Your right leg came to rest between his, as you gently pressed your face against his stomach, kissing it.

Yoou didn't even knew if you were taking care of your leader, or if you let your fantasies taking life. The feeling of desire that burned deep in your being had now changed to an indescribable pleasure. You were alone, Kohga offered no resistance, and this was perhaps your one and only opportunity to gain access to this bulky body. In all your life, you had never felt so good, so relaxed, so free.

A whisper from him brought you back to reality for a brief moment. Intrigued, you leaned forward, almost lying beside him.

“I feel better, the pain has eased ... I think I'll be able to go back to sleep now.

-If you don't mind, I would like to stay by your side for the night. If you ever feel bad again, I would like to be sure that I can intervene quickly.

-Well, if you want to and if that can reassure you, okay. You just have to lie down here.

-Thank you. Rest Master Kogha, I will watch over you. "

After a long time devoted to this massage, you end up snuggling up against his body. You leaned your head against his chest, resting your right leg against his thick thighs, and hugged his plump belly with your slender arm. His steady heartbeat and barely audible breathing calmed you. You felt his hand rest on your shoulder, which made you shiver slightly, but gave you a sense of security. Regardless of whether he made the gesture consciously or not, you could finally sleep peacefully.

Entwined.

When you woke up, you weren't sure where you were anymore. When your eye got used to the brightness of the room, you realized that you were completely alone in the kitchen. You got up slowly feeling as though you had slept wonderfully. Then everything suddenly comes back to you. You looked your way, walking nervously through the hallway. What if everything you've been through was nothing but the fruit of a fantasy? If this really happened, what were the consequences going to be? What would happen if Master Kohga realized what you had done? Lost in your thoughts, you heard a voice calling you.

"Hey, oh, Y / N, what are you doing, are you daydreaming?"

-Who me ? Oh uh excuse me Mahy, I was lost in my thoughts, what were you telling me?

-In fact, I need you to do me a favor. We were about to get ready for the day when several members started complaining about having a stomach ache, some even didn't want to get up. It hurts me seeing them like this, so I decided to prepare a medecine to relieve them. I would like you to boil some water, during that time I will check if there are any herbs left in the storeroom.

-Of course, you can count on me! "

You picked up an abandoned torch that you brought up to a lighted candelabra before returning with a determined step towards the kitchen and lighting the fire under the container. Finally, you poured in a generous amount of water and knelt down while waiting for Mahy to return. If you were focused on your task, in your head, everything was jostling. The fact that some of your comrades were also sick indicated that what you had not dreamed. Of course, you didn't regret what hhappened, but you feared possible consequences. You heard the quick and lively footsteps of your friend coming towards you. She appeared, her arms laden with grass.

“The harvest was good ! We're going to boil this for a few minutes and it'll be good. Thanks for your help anyway.

-That's not much. "

After filling the bottles with still boiling herbal tea, you headed for the dormitories. You walked back, still preoccupied with the events, hoping no one noticed anything. Once you got to the rooms, you stopped.

"Hello Mahy, hello Y / N, there you are finally. I decided to give you a day off for today, since most of the soldiers are sick. But I want it to be a lesson to you, next time avoid stuffing yourselves like boboklins!

-Do not worry about that Master Kohga, we have prepared herbal tea, soon everything would be nothing else but a bad memory!

-Well, I see we have two young doctors in our clan, that's good news! Y / N, when you're done, I'd like to talk to you.

-You can go now, I can take care of the distribution by myself, you have already helped me a lot.

-M… Thank you, Mahy. "

Anxious, you started to follow your leader. You walked hesitantly, apprehensively, holding your hands nervously. You took the opportunity to discreetly contemplate his back, remembering that last night, you snuggled up against this thick body. Once away from the rest of the group, he stopped and turned in his direction. You straighten up, standing straight, as if you were about to receive an order.

"Y / N, yesterday, I fell asleep before I had time to thank you, that's why I summoned you. You stayed awake for a long time just to heal me. So ... thank you for everything you've done.

-Oh uh ... if it was just that ... it's nothing, I couldn't sit back and do nothing. By the way, I wanted to ask you ... I ... did I hurt you yesterday? I'm not used to massages so I wondered. "

-Hey? But not at all, it makes me feel way better, as a proof the pain is gone. Looks like you've been doing this for years! Besides, why don't you practice this technique on our members, it would cure them ? Or then, there is only the strong, the burly, the one, the only, the Master Kogha, who deserved this ? "

There was silence for several long seconds. Then he burst out laughing.

“Mwahahahaha! I'm kidding, don't worry ! Now you can go. "

You left the room feeling happy, light, peaceful, as if you had relieved your conscience. You could now enjoy your day, and think back to that night without feeling guilty.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 141

Last week I posted a day early because vacation was doing vacation things to my sense of time.... This week I forgot to queue the chapter up because Monday was a work holiday, so I forgot today was Tuesday. *insert facepalm here please*

Thanks on this one go largely to @baelpenrose who rightfully pointed out that one part made very little sense to him and therefore was unlikely to make sense to a reader.  The clarification smoothed things out quite a bit, I think.  Just in case, whoever spots the area I’m talking about gets a cookie as soon as travel restrictions lift.

As always, thanks go also to @the-raven-fae, @charlylimph-blog, and @anotherusrname for completing the corners of my support system. And, a super-duper extra-special to @drinksteawithcake! I don’t know if I am allowed to tell everyone why, but you know why you get the extra-special, and I hope you are having fun!

BWAAAAAHP!   BWAAAAAHP!

“Uhhh?” I squinted in complaint as flailing arms clambered over me. One pair snagged me around my waist to drag me from bed before depositing me shakily on my feet. “What are you - ?”

BWAAAAAHP!  BWAAAAAHP!

Any trace of sleep was shoved out of my system, replaced by sizzling alertness when I realized I was hearing ship-wide alarms.  Shoving myself into the first clothing I grabbed, not even bothering with shoes, I was hot on Conor and Maverick’s heels as we raced out of our quarters and into the corridor. We paused only long enough for both men to kiss me and for “I love yous” to be exchanged before they turned and headed toward the areas indicated on their datascreens, while I hauled ass toward the Archives, ducking and twisting to avoid anyone in my path.

“Forty minutes,” Tyche told me crisply as I basically fell through the door, panting. “The Ark could be invaded and the battle over by the time you make it.”

“I ran….huff….the whole….ugh….way….” I managed to gasp out.  Part of me felt like puking, but I was pretty sure the muscles in my abdomen were too busy to figure out the logistics.

Clicking her tongue, she pulled me up from the floor. “Alistair, make a note to suggest to Xio that Sophia’s quarters be relocated once we have a better idea of when we are dropping into real space.”

I nodded numbly. “And probably… amp up… sensors… give… earlier… warning.”

“Nice outfit, by the way,” she laughed quietly as we finally reached the shelter point within the Archives.

Glancing down, I had to suppress a sigh. The first thing I grabbed to dress myself had apparently been a pair of Conor’s boxer shorts and a very filthy t-shirt that I assumed belonged to Maverick, since Conor’s was usually under coveralls. “At least you can’t say I took my time getting dressed.”

Her shaking head was greeted by faces in various states of wakefulness - this had been a drill, and woke nearly the entire Ark during their sleep interval on Delta shift.  But we weren’t out of the woods, yet: the drill didn’t end until all of Xiomara and Evan’s scenarios played out, including the mock combat and various tests of concealment for the other shelters.  As such, Tyche stood guard over the choke-point into this section, while Alistair had stayed behind at the entrance.

Early on, when the drills started, there had been fifty-fifty odds that the mock-invaders would make it this far, but over the past few weeks, that had narrowed to maybe twenty-percent.  It was still too high a chance in my judgement, and Xiomara clearly agreed as she stepped up training schedules and randomized the timing of the drills. 

Taking a swig of water from a stash of bottles, I queued up my datapad and stood next to Tyche, watching the ‘casualties’ from a point where no one could see over my shoulder to avoid panic, which I would have done in a real situation. “They didn’t find mess hall seven this time,” I murmured.

She glanced at my screen. “Acoustics are still too damned high. She must not be simulating for that this go around.”

One of the decoy locations lit up. “Looks like this time it’s heavy on thermal.” The location in question had been equipped with a cooking surface, triggered to activate when the klaxons that had woken me up went off.  Which Xiomara knew, but did not tell the ‘pirates’ for authenticity.

“How did they get past the combatants this time?” She asked, both curious and slightly worried.

Rolling back the sensor data, I watched it carefully. “Looks like these got in during the initial breaches, multiple points. But the line has held since, that’s good.”

Doing another check toward Alistair’s direction, she didn’t seem to see anything concerning. “How many?”

“Four,” I confirmed.  “Sam’s thermal camouflage is working beautifully, though.”  I couldn’t help but grin, and Tyche snorted at the same time. ‘Thermal camouflage’ was a bit of overkill as a name, but it was working well in every round. Potential access points were equipped with fast-acting environmental simulators - originally designed for temporary habitats on inhospitable moons - modified to release atmosphere like a Terran equatorial rainforest within one minute in an enclosed space.  It was a much more simple and elegant solution than any others we had found for giving combatants defending the Ark an advantage - instead of trying to create technology to make them look colder, make the entire area match human heat signatures.  Boom, instantly blinded enemies.

A tense half-hour later, the ‘all clear’ sounded, queueing grumbling from those who had dozed back off as everyone stood to make their ways back to their quarters. I waited with Alistair and Tyche for everyone else to be accounted for on the way out, and the three of us headed back toward our quarters together.  Alistair peeled off first, living closest to the Archives, and no sooner had my sister and I reached my door than the page sounded for the post-drill meeting.  She waved me off as she answered on her databand, and I did the same as I pushed into my quarters and flopped on the couch. “Councillor Sophia Reid, present, audio only,” I answered. “And no jokes, Pranav… I look like I smell awful.”

“Alistair Worthington, present, audio and video. I can confirm that she does, and she does.”

Laughter filled the comms and the rest of the group leaders and Councillors joined the debrief.  Finally, everyone was present and Xiomara called the meeting to order.  First, the leaders of each shelter reported in, as those usually went the fastest. There were a couple malfunctions in the deployment of the shielding to disguise the entrances and hide heat and electrical signatures, but nothing Huynh’s team couldn’t fix.  Tyche and Alistair made the recommendations around earlier detection and the need to move those sheltering in the  Archives closer as we approached time to drop out of relativistic space. 

Once that was out of the way, it was on to the combat and invasion teams. Overall consensus was that Sam’s trick with the portable environments was a rousing success and would be installed at each point determined to be most likely as a breach, with trigger conditions to be determined later. “I hate to say it,” Michael sighed, “but we also need Charly’s team to crank up the scovilles on the arrows and grenades.” His team had played the ‘invaders’ this go around, equipped with sensors and readouts to simulate the effect our defenses would have on the various species who most commonly were found on pirate vessels.  Evan had worked intensely with Pranav and Derek to ensure that the strategies provided by the readouts were modelled after similar strategies based on which ever species each team member was assigned, to ensure we weren’t accidentally drilling against human tactics.

Michael hated it, but he was strict about his team complying nonetheless.

“Seriously?” I squawked, and I wasn’t the only one. “One of those things accidentally went off in my quarters…. Can confirm, they’re pretty potent.”

“They dissipated too fast against my team, and also the contact element left a lot to be desired. Charly, you may want to consider adding a sticking element.”

“Duly noted,” she chimed in with a yawn, her normal pep doused by being woken up and then the drop in adrenaline post-combat.

“What about the sonic weapons?” Xiomara asked, moving the meeting along.

“Still less effective than Nixe is on her own,” a familiar voice I couldn’t put a name to responded with a sheepish tone.  “How hard would it be to train more people to shatter glass with their voice?”

“Incredibly,” Grey stressed. “It takes a very unique combination of training and the right vocal chords.”

“Then we may need to work on adding a projection component.  The sonic devices can match the pitch, but not the actual tone and direction. They’re very effective given time and especially contact, but we need something more immediately disabling.”

Xiomara groaned. “Are we back to Mariah Carey on this one?” Objections exploded until she muted the comms. “It’s that or opera.” Votes started scrolling up the screen, and I could see Xio nod. “Opera it is.  Let’s find a suitable piece and try using more analogue-style speakers.”

“I still say that death metal would work better,” Arthur suggested as soon as the comms were back on.

“Annnnd we already tested it, I will remind you. The volume works, but the pitches aren’t high enough to hit a broad enough population of species sensitive to sound.” After that nearly-obligatory objection, the meeting continued going through reports from each combat team until finally Xiomara announced the end results. “I have to admit, this was one of our best drills yet. Ten percent casualties of the combatants defending the breaches, only two percent among non-combatants, and the invaders were only able to traverse three decks before they were subdued.” She let the cheers go for a couple seconds before getting everyone’s attention again. “Yes, great job on the improvements, but let me remind everyone - those numbers still leave us below threshold for a healthy genetic population. Engineering teams, make the necessary adjustments with whatever resources are necessary. Shelters Three and Seven, you will start training for armed and unarmed combat with Shelter Fourteen and Combat Team Two daily.  Sophia, your team will coordinate schedules. Any questions?”

There were no arguments, not even a groan or mutter as the meeting was dismissed. Before I could even add the new task to my agenda the next day, I received the notification that Alistair had beaten me to the punch.

Glancing at the time, I wanted to hit something.  I had to be back up and at work in four hours, and the realization weighed me down with exhaustion.  The guys had come in and gone to bed while I was in the debrief, and I could already hear synchronized snoring coming from the bedroom.  Rather than risk waking them with my now-frozen feet, I pulled the quilt off the back of my couch and rolled myself into it.  Only minutes later, a heavy weight oozed across my hip and started purring furiously.

“Yeah, buddy. I agree. We need a nap.”

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[imagining-in-the-margins]

Petty Pair (Raymond/F!Reader)

Summary: Reader wants to fuck Raymond to spite his father. Raymond thinks that’s really hot, actually.

A/N: This idea came into my head and literally never left. It lives rent free in my head, and I hope you feel it now, too. Couple: Raymond/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW) Content Warning: Fingering, penetrative sex, protected sex, mild exhibitionism, getting caught Word Count: 5k

MASTERLIST

——————

There was a grand total of one functioning bar in this town at this hour of night. This drastic and unforgivable shortage of places for me to buy alcohol was also the only reason I found myself frequenting said bar.

After about an hour of swatting off a group of men that were objectively disgusting, I resigned myself to fate and the realization that the night would turn out no better than it would have if I hadn’t tried to get drunk on cheap liquor. I was ready to pack up, close out, and fuck off back home when it happened.

A familiar face walked through the door. Familiar, I suppose, was a stretch. I’d only seen his face in one picture ­– a picture I’m pretty sure was meant to be thrown away. It stuck out to me because it was the first indication that I got that Donald Wadsworth had a son. And a cute son, much less.

My brain scanned through buried memories to try and find the one where his recently divorced mother had told me his name. I knew the memory existed somewhere, surrounded under a mountain of bullshit, but it was so hard to focus when I was watching the poor kid shuffle over to the bar and plop himself down against the counter.

It had taken me that long to realize that he was wearing pajamas. Cute.

His fashion choices and bedhead paired nicely with the pout he wore when he shyly scanned the room. Altogether, everything about him assured me that he literally couldn’t have been less intimidating if he tried. That theory was further solidified by the way he shrunk against the counter when he saw me approach. By the time I sat down next to him, he’d all but disappeared under his jacket.

“Hey, you’re... Raymond, right?” The name came to me at the same time his eyes locked with mine. The dark hazel color shone almost gold in the orange hue of the bar.

“You’re Donald’s son?” I asked as warmly as possible while using his father’s name. Which is to say, not warm at all.  

“Unfortunately,” Raymond droned with a similar disdain.

“I’ll say,” I chuckled as I leaned forward to match his slouch over the bar. “I work with your dad.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

That alone seemed to cause a shift in his entire demeanor. It didn’t surprise me. Most of the women in this town were brainwashed into thinking that if a guy didn’t outright assault you at first glance, he was probably a solid dude.

And Donald Wadsworth was not a solid dude.

“He’s like, a giant fucking asshole,” I said.

Raymond’s eyes lit up.

“Right?!” he shouted back, practically falling from his seat in his enthusiasm as he continued to yell, “I know!”

There was no keeping it together with this caricature of a man, but I didn’t really want to, either. In the few seconds I’d interacted with him, everything about him changed from defensive to relaxed. Like all he needed was someone to tell him that it wasn’t all in his head.

Unfortunately, I was going to need to ask something of him. But I figured he wouldn’t mind what I was going to request.

“But hey, that’s actually why I wanted to talk to you. I have a favor to ask you.” I kept my tone even and nonchalant, trying to avoid coming off as parental.

He eyed me as warily as I expected, tugging his drink a little bit closer as he started to shrink in on himself again.

“I’m gonna be honest,” he mumbled, “there’s not really anything I can do to hurt him that I haven’t already tried.”

There was no need for self-degradation. Raymond might have thought he tried everything, but from his body language around a woman, it was safe to assume he’d never tried my plan.

“Wanna bet?”

Raymond sighed in surrender before he shrugged, “Sure. What’s the favor?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

It wasn’t my intention to wait until the drink was in his mouth before I spoke, but it was how it ended up happening. And almost instantaneously, he spat the drink out over the bar before calmly squeaking, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I want to have sex with you,” I repeated like it was the most normal thing in the world. Then I sought confirmation that was only a little important in the grand scheme of things. “You’re staying at his place, right?”

“Just for tonight, yeah—" he started, but all I heard was the ding of a checkmark on my mental list that meant we were cleared for the next step.

“Great. We should do it there, then. Tonight.”

Raymond’s tongue stuck out from between his teeth, the visual of restraint matching his narrowed, shifty eyes and fidgety legs.

“I feel like I’m missing something...” he muttered.

I heard him, but I didn’t really care. The clock was running, and I was ready to get something good out of this night. Possibly even two good things, if he ended up being as helpful as his cute, submissive demeanor implied.

“I’ll drive. You want to go now?”

“I— I mean, sure, yeah,” he stumbled over the words and his own feet as he left the bar. “We can… go have sex.”

I laughed at how cool he tried to sound because he definitely failed. I reached past him to drop cash on the bar and grabbed his hand on the way back. The amount of warmth stormed it in was shocking, considering all the blood seemed to be in his face, ears, and the tent in his pants. But the comfort of his fingers interlocking with mine on instinct did more for me than he knew.

“Great. Let’s go.”

Raymond was silent on the way out and into the car, which was about what I expected from him. Every glance his way would show the gears slowly turning in his head, like he was still trying to grasp whether my proposition was serious. Like I was trying to murder him or something.

When the car started, so did some sliver of confidence in him, although he still cleared his throat before he asked, “Do you need directions, or…?”

“No, I’ve been to his place before.”

That caution and suspicion returned and multiplied, and before I even pulled out of the parking lot he had shrugged down in the seat and buried his face in his hands.

“Please tell me you didn’t fuck my dad,” he whined in the most dramatic manner possible.

I couldn’t blame him for the theatrics, although the implication was not at all appreciated.

“Absolutely the fuck not,” I spat, my face curling into a pure expression of disgust. At least we both felt similarly on that note.

“Thank god.” The relief flowed through him, allowing him to sit back up to his previously half-straight position. I decided that it was probably best to cut him some slack for assuming I would ever fuck that devil of a man, because I got the sinking suspicion that he might have known a couple girls his age that had done exactly that.

That thought led me back to the very reason I was there at all, and a chill ran down my spine as I muttered without thinking, “Wasn’t for a lack of his trying, though.”

The whole tone in the car shifted in seconds. One glance over at Raymond confirmed the repressed rage and sadness rolling off of him in waves that were more accurately described as a tsunami.

It was just unsettling enough that I snapped my eyes back to the road, giving a nervous chuckle to tell him that it wasn’t that serious. I didn’t need him to defend my honor, or anything. It did enough to quell most of the rage, but that self-pitying sadness was still there when he let out a shy, quiet plea.

“I don’t want to pry but… Will you tell me what this is about?”

“You really want to know?”

It was one thing to know the vague generalities of how much his father sucked, but another thing entirely to paint him a vivid depiction of what he was willing to do.

“Yeah,” he said with fiddling hands, “I think.”

I think he was trying to do me a favor. I think listening to my story was meant to be a sign to me that there were people who would care — people who would believe me. He clearly didn’t actually want to hear the story, but I appreciated his willingness to experience some discomfort to make up just a small part of his father’s misdeeds.

“So, I’m new at the school, right? It’s awkward. It’s a small town and everyone knows everyone,” I started, trying to look over at Raymond whenever I could to show him that I was doing alright. The poor thing looked like he needed the reassurance more than I did.

“Your dad very quickly tried to take me under his wing, despite my very obvious discomfort.”

“Sounds like him,” he interrupted with a pissed-off murmur.

“Yeah. I just kind of accepted his help because I was too scared to say no, but then one day he…” My voice trailed off, the words getting clogged in my throat and muddled on my tongue. It wasn’t that bad of a story; it should have been easier to explain. But something about Raymond being there, him listening to me so intently and with such a strong desire to make it better, that made it hard to speak. Eventually, I managed to start again. “He cornered me in the damn teacher’s lounge and—“

“Please don’t give me a reason to kill him. I’ve been toeing that line my whole life, and I will definitely do it.”

That time when Raymond cut me off, it was very clear to me that he was not kidding. He enunciated the words so clearly, venom dripping from his tongue and his chest heaving with a determination coming through clear, despite his best efforts to hide it.

He was a sweet kid.

“He didn’t try to touch me or anything. It wasn’t like that,” I said with an awkward smile, reaching over to pat his thigh. The action alone seemed to calm him, almost like a dog that was being told to stand down.

He was a really cute kid.

But I had to finish this stupid story. I had to give him all the information so that he would know exactly why I’d invited myself into his bed. Sex is sort of a big deal, you know? I mean, not always, but the other party in spite sex should probably know who exactly the target is.

“He just made it very clear that he felt I owed him something, and I kindly told him to fuck off,” I concluded just as we pulled up the dirt drive. The bumps in the road seemed to shake some other memories in Raymond, and he just shook his head to rid himself of those, along with the story he’d just heard.

He looked over at me with a new understanding and something else.

“So that’s what this is about?”

“Yep,” I said with a pop of my lips to match the sound of my car door opening. He clambered out of the car much less gracefully, which was funny considering he’d had significantly less to drink.

But I figured I would have the decency not to laugh, instead just joining him on the passenger side of the car to finish our conversation before we went inside. I wanted to give him the chance to change his mind. I wouldn’t have blamed him. Although I was the one who would have to deal with the brunt of the downfall, Donald wasn’t my family. Like, I wouldn’t be at his holiday dinners. Then again, I’m not sure Raymond would be, either.

When I looked up from the thought, Raymond was staring at me. It wasn’t like before, though. There was nothing suspicious or any sign of concern in his eyes. No, they were filled with a very different feeling.

“You want to fuck me just to spite my dad?” he asked with a deadly seriousness.

I thought about it for exactly one second before I shrugged at the extremely accurate summary.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“God,” Raymond practically groaned, throwing himself on me and pinning me against the car with his hips before he growled, “that’s so fucking hot.”

Those same lips that produced the words quickly covered mine with the same force he’d used to pin me against the metal. I didn’t fight him at first because, well, I didn’t want to. It was the first clear sign he’d given that he really wanted to do this, and who was I to argue with how he expressed his consent?

Also, he was like, a really, really good kisser. The desperation he felt came through in his tongue as it tangled with mine, drawing a quiet, muffled moan from me that alerted me to how quickly this would escalate if I didn’t shove the boy off me.

Which, I did.

“Raymond— inside,” I ordered with the little breath I had left.

He was confused for a second, almost like he’d blacked out in the meantime. But then his tongue swept over his lips, his hands digging through his pockets for his keys before he hastily answered, “Right. Let’s go.”

It made sense to be quiet then, as the two of us tip-toed through the much too large house. Our occasional giggles were louder than our feet, and the whole experience was seriously reminiscent of sneaking into your boyfriend’s house as a teenager. And when we walked through his bedroom door, the sight stirred up even older memories. From the UFO poster and alien sheets to the boxes filled with dinosaur toys and action figures, I felt like I’d walked straight through a time machine into Raymond’s childhood.

“Sorry about… all of this,” he said with an overly apologetic tone, like this scene didn’t perfectly suit what I was planning. Like it wouldn’t be salt in the wound for Donald to see me fucking his son in the most juvenile room I’ve ever seen in my life.

“Ugh, it’s perfect. You are literally a man-child.”

I didn’t mean it as an insult, but his nervous shifting told me he took it that way. But when I kicked off my shoes and started to disrobe my outer layers, it was becoming obvious to him again just how serious I was about this whole thing.

“Sorry, but—“

“Stop saying sorry, Raymond.”

“Sorry,” he squeaked back, doing the exact thing I’d just told him not to do. I shot him a warning glance and watched the way his Adam’s apple bobbed in return. Then, still worrying the hem of his pajama shirt between his fingers, he looked away as he asked, “Are you sure you actually want to have sex with me?”

I was a little too busy at first to answer him. I was already rustling through the bedside table to find a condom that I was absolutely positive would be there. When I finally found it, I turned my attention back to the blushing boy.

“Why are you asking? Do you want to have sex with me?”

“Yes!” he answered with a clear excitement, only to lose it immediately. “But I would have wanted to have sex with you even if my dad wasn’t a pervert.”

“Awww, thanks,” I cooed with feigned sincerity. Raymond was still just pouting, though. I was learning more each second just how starved of affirmation this boy had been. But it wasn’t like I could just start praising him; the poor thing would have whiplash if I wasn’t careful. There was no worse mood-killer than crying, either, so I settled for a joke.

“I’d probably have sex with you, too.”

“Probably?” he responded with a smile and a seat next to me.

“It’s pretty likely, depending on how much we talked first,” I explained as I helped him out of his coat. I even managed to start undoing his pajama top buttons before he realized it was happening.

He didn’t stop me when he did.

“I don’t know if that’s an insult or not,” he said, instead.

With a coquettish grin, I leaned in to whisper against his lips, “And you never will.”

There was absolutely no resistance from Raymond when I grabbed hold of his collar, tugging him on top of me as I laid down on the tiny twin bed. Despite all of his insecurity, he didn’t hesitate to kiss me again, either. This time it was somehow even more heated, like he was trying to pour all of his heart into it.

I almost warned him that he had better cool it if he didn’t want to risk getting me hooked, but I was too late. He was already busy undoing the buttons on my own top and gently kneading my chest through the fabric of my bra, and I was quickly losing track of which of us was more into what was happening.

It didn’t really matter, but just in case he was still worried that I might not want to be there, I snuck my hand down and under the waistband of his pajamas.

“Fuck!” he cursed in a hushed whisper, his body buckling forward far enough that he almost dropped all his weight on me. It was so damn cute that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t be too loud or we’ll never get to the fun part,” I warned, my voice barely a whisper in his ear.

His very eloquent response was a breathless, “Shit.” I couldn’t blame him, though. It was honestly more than I expected him to be able to enunciate when I grabbed hold of his dick and began making soft strokes.

It was obvious that he was trying very hard to stay quiet, but the whimpers and whines were falling from his mouth so quickly that I was forced to kiss him just to muffle the noise. Thankfully, Raymond took the hint that he needed to be quiet and decided to redirect the attention from himself back to me. He accomplished that task by pulling away from me just far enough that he could grab hold of my pants and underwear and roughly pull them down my thighs. The speed and force lit a fire deep in my gut, my whole body breaking out in goosebumps as I allowed myself to enjoy just how badly he wanted me. I’m sure the spite thing had a lot to do with it, too, but it had been a long time since a man was so clearly into me. It was an unavoidable conclusion in every touch from him.

A much-too-loud moan caught in my throat when he returned, slipping his fingers into my heat as he laid another feverish kiss against my lips. But it broke almost immediately with his own choked moan, followed by a low, breathy observation.

“You weren’t kidding about wanting this.”

“Nope,” I replied quickly, trying to control the noises coming out of my mouth by replacing them with words. It only sort of worked when I keened, “Fuck, you’re better at this than I thought.”

Raymond didn’t even stop, continuing to curl his fingers inside of me with each thrust. He did smile, though. A cheeky, borderline annoying smile that told me he knew what a bastard he was being.

“Again, I can’t tell if that is a compliment,” he said with an overwhelming amount of sarcasm as he watched me squirm under him.

I chose to ignore the taunt, opting to grab the condom from the bedside table and throw it directly at his face instead. “Put the fucking condom on, Raymond.”

There was less commentary from the peanut gallery from that point on. I did enjoy the show, though. As I removed my bra, I watched with rapt fascination as he stripped himself of his clothes. My desire grew at an exponential rate at the sight of him slipping the condom on. I’d gotten some idea of the size of him with my hand, but to see something so lewd in such an innocent room and on his shy little figure was something else.

Raymond shrunk a little under my gaze, only regaining his confidence when he saw the way my teeth dragged over my bottom lip. I ran my hands over my body that was still on display for him, thoroughly enjoying the way I could make his eyes go wherever I wanted with such a simple motion.

“Fuck me, Raymond.”

I heard his breath catch and watched the shiver flow through him at the order. Sure enough, he started to follow my instructions and lined himself up at my entrance with adorably shaky hands. But then, right before I got what I came for, he paused.

“Are you su—“

I was tired of waiting. Hooking my leg around his waist, I forced Raymond to thrust forward. My assistance didn’t take any of the pleasure out of it when he was finally, fully inside of me. I couldn’t stop the way my back arched, pressing my chest against his with a wanton cry.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he mumbled into my hair, burying his face in the crook of my neck as he adjusted to the new set of sensations.

I only gave him a few seconds to get used to it, fully ready to get the release that already felt so close.

“Fuck me,” I whined, already starting to roll my hips against the boy blubbering curses into my skin.

“O-Okay,” he muttered in the most adorable fashion.

That shyness was contrasted strongly by what followed. For all his whimpers and trembling, Raymond didn’t seem to mind the way the bed would creak under us. In fact, it seemed that he was playing his own game, trying to elicit as many noises from me as he could get from the bed.

On instinct, my hands rose to try to still the headboard. But to my surprise, they never made it. The man above me had grabbed hold of one wrist, pinning it against the pillow to stop me. That simple, thoughtful act was enough to almost send me over the edge right then, but I held on for what I knew would come.

My moans were another story. They seemed so inevitable, with Raymond slamming into me with a progressively rougher force until I rode that line between pain and pleasure. I could see it on his face, too, that we were barreling full speed to the inevitable.

So, it was as good a time as any for me to set the next step in motion. With full volume and a pitch nearly an octave higher than usual, I screamed, “Yes, Raymond!”

That cheeky little bastard laughed. That noise was such music to my ears, that I couldn’t just stop there.

“God, yes! Fuck me harder!” I cried dramatically while drawing out the words. In a way, I was over exaggerating for effect, but I was also actually having a great time. In fact, it was the best sex I’d had in a long time.  

Raymond, catching on to the plan that I’d never explicitly explained, joined in with his own chant of my name, mixed with deep moans rumbling in his chest. I ran my nails down his back, seeking to elicit the higher pitched sounds I knew he was capable of when I realized just how much fun I was having with him.

It was also, of course, super fucking hot. But how often do you get to have this much fun with a random one night stand you found at the bar? Not often enough, I decided.

“Please, Raymond! Harder!” I begged, both in accordance with my previous moans and also because it was what I needed.

I couldn’t decide on a word to describe that wild look on his face, but Raymond had no problem following through with my request. Releasing my wrist, he sat up on his knees, grabbing hold of my hips and lifting them so that he could come down between them at a new angle.

That angle, it seemed, left him bottoming out inside of me with each brutal thrust. My legs were actually shaking around him, my back barely touching the bed as I threw my head back on that damn alien pillowcase.

The clacking of the headboard against the plaster shook the hung UFO picture, which ended up clattering behind it with about as much grace and subtlety as Raymond and I shared in that moment.

But that crashing also masked the sound of the door slamming open, just as I’d been waiting for. And for a long moment, neither of us even looked over to the light filtering in from the hallway. Instead, we locked eyes with each other as the two of us simultaneously reached our peak.

I was so, so glad that I didn’t look away. I kept my eyes firmly on Raymond as he threw his head back, forcing himself as deep in me as he could and holding me against him as I nursed him through his orgasm with my own. His mouth, though dropped open, was curved in a satisfied smile, one last moan tearing through the two of us before he promptly collapsed on top of me.

Then, it finally came. Donald’s voice bellowing, “What the fuck is going on in here?!”

 —

 As Raymond and I sat in my car that night, there was a much more relaxed atmosphere. Whether the catharsis was from the sex or the big fuck you to his father, the two of us were just basking in the afterglow of the overall experience.  

Of course, he was also laughing at the fact I was currently wrapped up in his alien bedsheet.

“We could’ve gotten your clothes, you know.”

“There was no way in hell I was going to drop this sheet in front of that man,” I said through my laughter, my mind replaying the chaos of the last few minutes over again in my head.

“Probably a good call,” Raymond answered.  

But then another thought occurred to me, which caused my face to contort into a disgusted grimace.

“You’d better go get my underwear and bra later, though. He cannot keep those.”

“Will do. Promise,” he said with a little nod that ended with him staring at me with an absolutely smitten look plastered on his face.

“You can keep them, though,” I offered, reaching over and pretending like I could actually fix the birds nest on his head.

“Thanks. I’m flattered,” he said while chasing after my hand that eventually settled on his cheek. His face was still flushed, his eyes still only half opened as he nearly fell asleep against my palm. I wondered if it was from the orgasm, or if it was just the first time in a while he’d felt safe enough to do it. He must’ve seen the worry in my eyes, because he interrupted the thought with another question.

“Did you accomplish your goal?”

I thought about it for a second, dragging my fingers down his face before I pulled back with a sigh. “I feel satisfied,” I decided. “What about you?”

Raymond also took the chance to think about it before he nodded with more enthusiasm than before.

“I feel pretty good,” he said proudly.

“That’s all? Just pretty good?” I replied with an annoyed click of my tongue. I mean, I was wrapped in his bedsheets after just helping him achieve one of the most satisfying catharses of his life, and all he had to say was ‘pretty good?’

But then I saw it, that little sparkle in his eyes that showed me he just wanted to rile me up before he gave his real answer.  

“It was fucking glorious.”

It wasn’t even the words that filled my heart with pride, but the way his whole expression softened as he said it. He obviously meant it with every fiber of his being, and I couldn’t help but fall in love a little bit at the sight.

“Sorry I got you kicked out,” I said to distract myself from that dangerous line of thought.

“Not the first time. Hopefully the last,” he nonchalantly shrugged as I turned the key in the ignition. We hadn’t actually planned on what to do from this point, but I certainly had some ideas.  

“You can stay at my place,” I slurred through my exhaustion, “I have a guest bedroom if you feel weird staying in mine.”

But Raymond didn’t answer. He just laughed, shaking his head and rubbing a heavy hand over his tired eyes.

“What?” I asked, a little worried I’d made a mistake.

“Nothing,” he reassured with that stupid fucking grin that was soon aimed straight at me, “it’s just… You’re asking me if I want to sleep with you. Again.”

“Yeah, what about it?” I laughed, turning to pull out of the driveway. The bumps didn’t bother Raymond that time.

“I’d love to,” he said as we turned onto the main road, his hand finding mine on the gear shift.

“Great.” Allowing the relief to flow through his hand and into me, I realized that the reason I’d had so much fun with this random one night stand was because a large part of me knew it was never going to be just that.

“You know, my bed’s not a twin, and it doesn’t creak, so…” I trailed off, hoping that he would be clever enough to put it together.

“So what?”

He was not. But that was okay, because I realized that was exactly what I loved about him.

“Never mind,” I sighed, “I’ll show you in the morning.”

——————————————————

(Tell me what you thought of this piece here!)

[13uswntimagines]

Touch Starved (Kelley O’Hara x Reader)

Request: R is really touch starved and Kelley hugs her for a second, but R doesn't let go and then Kelley agrees to be carried around for the whole day so that R feels better.

Author’s note: This one turned into something that i wasn’t expecting it to, so i really hope that it met the request, and if it didn’t a apologize. So there’s no Smut in this, but there are some adult themes. So proceed at your own risk. Let me know what you think, and hit me up with Ideas, Requests or if you just want to say hi. I hope you enjoy. 

Your family was one of the reasons that you had never agreed with the idea that the grass was always greener on the other side. From the outside looking in, you were the model family. Your dad was the VP of a very prominent law firm and your mother was one of the best prosecutors in the country. But that success had come at a cost. Their work and the public’s perception of you came before everything else. They were both cold and distant with you and your older brother, substituting love and affection with material objects designed to keep up appearances and keep you quiet. Any deviation from perfection was a stain on the pristine family image that your parents had built their lives around. 

They demanded that you live up to the impossibly high standard that they had set for you. Your brother had thrived in that environment. He had followed the path that your parents had laid for him, succeeding in both college and medical school, getting married to the daughter of the CEO of the firm your parents worked for and pumping out three beautiful baby boys before he had turned thirty. He was exactly the person who your parents had wanted him to be.

You, on the other hand, were not. You struggled in school and decided that moving to France to play soccer was a better option than marrying the boy that they had picked out for you (considering that you were much more interested in kissing his sister than you were in kissing him). They had all but disowned you, giving you 2 hours to pack up all of your things and get the fuck out of their house. By the time you turned 19 you had been called up to the national team, proving to them that you weren’t throwing your life away on some childish dream. The day your call up was announced was also the first time you heard from your parents in the two years since they had kicked you out. You would have preferred it if they had left you alone. 

It had taken the team a long time to break through your stoic exterior, to show you that expressing your feelings was a strength and not a weakness. They had taught you that you were allowed to love whoever you wanted without feeling ashamed of it. One feisty woman, in particular, had convinced you just how nice physical contact could be, and that strength it took to become completely vulnerable to someone.

With Kelley, you could give in to the urges that had plagued your childhood, and let her take care of you in every way imaginable. She was so much more than simply your girlfriend, she was your rock, sounding board, and the love of your life. She also may or may not have taken up the role of Daddy to your brattier side, but that was beside the point. You were addicted to her touch and you felt anxious when you didn’t have it. You had been attached at the hip for the past 4 years, so that was why the team was shocked when the two of you had shown up to camp just after the holidays separately.

“Did you and Y/n get into a fight?” Alex asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she plopped down beside Kelley in the hotel conference room. Kelley’s eyes flicked away from the door and towards her friend for a short moment.

“Nope,” She said shortly, unable to prevent the annoyance from leaking into the short word. She was completely done with this entire situation. She hated being away from you, to begin with, and the reason for your abrupt separation was doing nothing to calm her nerves. 

“That was convincing,” Tobin murmured, sitting next to Alex and placing a possessive hand on her leg. Kelley rolled her eyes. She hadn’t been happy when you had to leave her two days after New Years, but you hadn’t had much of a choice. It was your mother’s 50th birthday, and your father had demanded that you attend. 

“Where is she then?” Christen asked soothingly, sitting in the row behind them, and beginning to card her fingers through Alex’s hair. Alex melted into the touch, and Kelley sighed. What she would give for that to be you right now. You were going to need some serious TLC when you arrived, and she was going to make sure you got it...

“Her plane from Chicago should be landing in a few minutes,” She said shortly, pulling her phone from her pants and checking to make sure you hadn’t texted her that your flight was delayed. 

“Chicago? Don’t her parents live in Chicago?” Alex yelped, worry taking over her features. The team knew about your parents, and how you repeatedly twisted yourself into knots to gain their approval. They always used your desire for them to finally be proud of you as a way to control you. You knew that, but even with the support of your best friends and girlfriend, you couldn’t seem to smother the desire to prove to them that you weren’t just a black mark on their precious family image. 

“Yep,” Kelley gave them a curt nod. She wasn’t happy you had insisted on going by yourself. Kelley would have gone with you, but after their last meeting, it was decided that everyone would be better off if you went alone. You were better at keeping your composure under your parents’ criticisms and backhanded compliments than Kelley was. She was too protective over you to just sit there and smile while your parents ripped you to shreds. 

“Alone?” Tobin asked, her eyebrows raised as she took in Kelly’s nod. ”That sounds bad” Tobin murmured and Kelley shot her a withering look.

”How bad?” Christen urged, leaning forward in her chair and playing a hand on Kelley’s shoulder. You craved touch, and if your parents were anything like Kelley had described them, you weren't getting any affirming pats or comforting strokes. Hopefully, your plight didn't go much deeper than that, but the look on Kelley’s face told her that it did. That it was worse than just some touch starvation. 

“Last time I heard from her, her dad was throwing a fit because she cut her hair short and died it blue 3 days before she went there. That was on Thursday, ” Kelley mumbled hoarsely, the sound of your Father screaming about how much of a disgrace you were still clear in her mind. You had tried to calm her down, to tell her that it wasn't a big deal, but no one had the right to talk to you like that. 

“So, she’s in trouble for not communicating?” Alex asked hesitantly, biting her lip. She remembered the last time the two of you had forgotten to check in with your respective partners when you went to the mall. Christen, Kelley, and Tobin had made the two of you hold their pockets everywhere they went for the next week on top of their spankings. 

 “No. Her mom took her phone because she was texting me and not paying attention to the ‘parade of suitors’ they had brought through to try and ‘fix’ her, ” Kelley growled lowly. Your parents just couldn't seem to accept that you had no interest in men and that you were in a very serious relationship with a woman. A relationship that was so serious that there may or may not have been a very nice ring sitting at the bottom of her bag just waiting for the right moment. 

“So what’s the plan when she gets here then?” Christen asked carefully. 

“I’m going to see what she needs, and then give it to her,” Kelley said with determination. She would fly to Chicago and beat the crap out of your parents if that was what it took to make you feel better. You were bound to be touch starved when you got here, but the touch you craved was yet to be determined. 

“And we’ll be prepared to smother her in cuddles after?” Alex nodded, a pout forming in her face. You were her best friend, and if it was cuddling you needed, cuddles you would receive.

“Maybe,” Kelley mumbled. She didn’t want to burst Alex’s bubble, but she wasn’t sure what state you would be in when you got here. It was possible that you would want to be smothered in the love and cuddles of the friends who had become your family. Or could just need a more intimate form of comfort that the two of you most definitely didn’t do with the other three. It was also possible that you would need a more… physical release to deal with your emotions. 

” Let's just see how she is when she gets here baby horse, ok?” Tobin whispered gently in Alex’s ear, making eye contact with Kelley. She understood that they wouldn’t know what you needed until Kelley could get a better assessment of the situation. 

  Kelley’s eyes were glued to you the moment you stepped through the door. She took in the slump or your shoulders and the dark circles under your eyes. 

“Hey, little one. I missed you,” she stood and went to pace a kiss on your lips, but was instead engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. 

“Missed you too Kels” You mumbled tiredly into her neck, running your nose along the Colum of her throat, just taking in the comforting scent of your girlfriend. She allowed the hug to go on for a few minutes, before trying to pull back and look at you. You whined loudly and squeezed her even tighter. 

“you alright?” She asked into your hair, trying to untangle herself from you enough to look you in the eyes. You growled lightly and clung impossibly tighter to her. She sighed, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

“Mmm. Just let me stay here a little while longer?” You mumbled quietly into her neck, your shoulders relaxing when she nodded. 

“But let’s get a little more comfortable alright?” She whispered into your ear, laughing lightly when you groaned out an ok. She took a step back and settled herself into her chair, pulling you into her lap. You snuggled deeper into the woman, enjoying the first touch you had received in a week and taking in her comforting scent. 

She ran her hands up and down your back, sighing in relief when she felt your breathing even out and your body slump further into her. 

“Hey little one, look at me,” She said after a few minutes, using her hands to gently coax you out of your warm hiding place. You moaned in discontent but gave in to your dominant’s insistent fingers. She studied your Y/E/C orbs for a few seconds, before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. “What do you need, baby girl?” She asked, her warm breath fanning over your mouth. 

“Just need you. Just hold me please?” You pleaded, your eyes growing glassy. You desired her touch so much that it hurt. 

“Shh baby. I’ve got ya. I’m not letting go,” She said, allowing you to burrow back into her, and resuming her careful strokes on your back. She tester her cheek on the top of your head, humming out a random tune to help soothe you. 

“You dyed your hair again,” Kelley mumbled, running her fingers through your newly brown hair. She felt you huff into her neck. 

“It was just easier than listening to him bitch about it,” You grumbled. You had withstood his constant pressure for 4 days before you had given in. You had loved the different shades of blue that ran through your undercut, and you knew that Pino would tease you about how boring the Y/H/C your father had insisted on. You also knew that Kelley would never let you redye it, as she wanted to keep your hair healthy. 

“Is that the same way your mom got your phone?” She joked, her lips quirking up at you. You were cute when you were clingy and grumbly, and it wasn’t a side to you that she got to see often. Your smile fade. 

“No. That fucking cu-” You spat out, only stopping because of the light swat delivered to your butt. 

“Hey. I know you’re upset but we don’t call people names,” Kelley said sternly, her smile also fading as she eyed you, waiting to see what you would do next. Carefully watching for your tells. 

“It’s not name-calling if it’s true,” You spat out. The word you had chosen would have been nice compared to some of the words you wanted to use for her. 

“Is that backtalk I hear little girl?” Kelley levels you with her stare, and you shrunk just a little. 

“No,” You mumbled sadly, your shoulders slumping. 

“You know what happens when you lie to me,” she raised her eyebrow at you. 

“But Daddy” you wined loudly, throwing your head back. 

“No buts,” She said softly, brushing a fallen hair away from your eyes. 

 “I haven’t gotten to see you in eight days,” You pouting at the woman, who just gave you an unimpressed look. You leaned forward and resumed your hiding in the hollow of her neck. 

“Yes, and you didn’t check in with me for 4 of those. I think that needs to be rectified doesn’t it?” She said slowly, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. You remembered what had happened the last time you and Alex had forgotten to check-in, and the amount of teasing you had endured from your teammates at the punishment they had chosen. 

“Don’t want a spanking,” you grumbled into her neck, burying your nose in her soft skin. You took a few deep breaths, allowing her scent to settle you. The hand rubbing circles on your back froze. Now was the tough part. You weren’t generally this winey, but Kelley couldn’t say that she was surprised. Your family was a lot to handle, especially for little ones like you. So the question was If you were acting bratty to get a reaction from her? Or was it the only way you could release your built-up frustration? 

“Do you need one though?” She asked you carefully. You thought about what you were feeling for a few seconds. You felt bad that you had let your family prevent you from communicating with Kelley, but you knew that it would have been nearly impossible to stop them. You also felt the shame and guilt your Father always imprinted upon you. You weren’t a good little wife for some CEO somewhere. He insisted that your place on the team would be short-lived and after you retired you would be screwed and he wouldn’t be there to pick up the pieces. 

You knew that you needed a punishment, but spanking wasn’t it. What you were craving was for Kelley to hold you and tell you how good you were. To smother you in love and complements, but you couldn’t find the words to tell her that. Instead, you sighed and shook your head. 

Kelley nodded back. She had been pretty sure of your answer before she asked the question, but communication was a hallmark of a good relationship. She was generally good at reading what you needed and wanted from your body language, but with you in such a fragile state, she didn’t want to risk being wrong. What you needed right now wasn’t a physical release, but instead, the contact and words of affirmation that you had been craving for the past week. She was almost positive that the only thing that would ease your mood was increased physical affection and reassurance that she loved you. 

“OK, I think that because you didn’t communicate with me for 4 days, you should have to carry me around for that amount of time. What do you think darling?” She asked, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You smiled up at her. It was exactly what you needed. Well almost.

“Can I carry you to Alex’s room? Because her cuddles are almost as good as yours” You looked up at Kelly, fluttering your eyelashes. A smile broke across her face. 

“I counter your baby horse cuddles with bathtub cuddles,” she smirked, bumping your noses together and placing a sweet kiss on her lips. She knew how much you loved baths with her. It would be the perfect way to get you to finally relax. 

“With bubbles?” You questioned seriously. Not having bubbles was a dealbreaker, and an effective punishment incidentally. 

“Of course baby girl, I think you’ve earned them” Kelly ran a soothing hand through your hair, smirking lightly when your lips poured in contemplation. 

“To the bathtub!” You yelled, picking up the girl of your dreams. Kelley laughed at your goofiness. There would be time to deal with the aftermath of your family later, but for now, she would hold you and remind you that she was there and never leaving.

[sepublic]

Recognizing Lilith’s Progress

           You know what? Perhaps I’ve been too harsh towards Lilith, at least in regards to her relationship with Eda specifically. I think we need to remember that while Lilith really WANTED Eda to join the Emperor’s Coven for thirty-something years… She always made it a point to vouch for her sister’s freedom, as seen when Lilith destroys those Wanted Posters at Covention just so the two could get into a petty squabble. And as we see at the end of Sense and Insensitivity, she WANTED to let Eda make the choice and decision, on her own, to join the Emperor’s Coven… Lilith wanted it to be fully voluntary and was completely willing to wait as long as it’d take (which would actually be an eternity) for Eda to change her mind.

           And, obviously there’s that disrespectful assumption that Eda WILL eventually change her mind, that it’s an inevitable sort of thing she has to figure out, that Lilith’s way is objectively right and it’s just a matter of Edalyn realizing the truth… But still. I think it hints at some potential growth and maturity, or at least an implicit acknowledgement of Eda’s genuine issues with the Emperor’s Coven that are unrelated to the curse- Hence why Eda makes it clear that she’s not joining Belos anytime soon to cure her curse, so Lilith never brings it up again until after THAT specific revelation… Lilith gets it, she gets that Eda has had reasons beyond the curse to despise the Emperor’s Coven, she figured that much out by now- Lilith just needs to realize that those reasons are actually valid, and/or that the Coven System’s benefits do NOT outweight the cons that Eda has to list.

           Sure, maybe this just indicates Lilith of being particularly ignorant, because she’s willfully ignorant to facts she knows deep-down… But maybe it’s also Lilith beginning to make tenuous progress towards understanding Eda, and eventually confessing to the curse on her own terms. But of course, Belos has to ruin this- He rushes and pressures Lilith, who is clearly unhappy about entering Eda’s space in Wing it like Witches, instead of waiting for Eda to intiate contact on her own terms. And you can tell, because Lilith still humors Eda’s Grudgby game and the terms set- She doesn’t WANT to force Eda, and is looking for any reason not to, in addition to wanting to hang out with her sister as always. And maybe this is just indicative of Lilith’s cowardice because she knows she can’t take Eda on in a fight, even with the curse…

           And speaking of cowardice, perhaps Lilith choosing to look the other way and bend the law for Eda, but not outright joining her, was indicative of indecision too; Lilith didn’t actively choose nor desire to cut ties with Eda and make her an enemy, it was just supposed to be a one-time thing and ideally, the two would remain best friends and sisters even after it. But Lilith couldn’t take a full stance with the Emperor’s Coven, or with Eda- She had to choose between the two, but really thought both options were actually reconcilable. Not to mention, Lilith still could’ve chosen to at least share the curse…

          But I can also see her justifying this because the Emperor’s Coven wouldn’t accept a half-cursed witch, and Lilith –corectly- saw the EC as a means of curing Eda… So it’d just be a matter of putting off this treatment in favor of a full-on cure, later down the line. Still, damage was dealt, and as Dana herself confirmed; Even if Eda had been cured, her hair would’ve still been gray. And clearly Lilith was being a little selfish and a coward herself, not wanting to bear any part of the curse, nor handle the social ostracization she subjected Edalyn towards with it.

           But considering how Lilith eventually makes the choice to save Eda from petrification, even at the risk of losing her spot in the Emperor’s Coven (not necessarily the requirement up until Belos catches her), I think it’s safe to say that if Lilith hadn’t already reached that understanding/epiphany a long time ago- We were actually watching her do so as the season progressed, seeing Lilith realize what she had to finally do after years of procrastination. We’ve known through her introduction that Lilith has been bending the law for Eda, even if she doesn’t approve, and now she’s possibly beginning to; Things HAD been changing, potentially for the better, maybe Lilith had been taking initiative to truly grow…

          I think there were genuine moments when after seeing how Eda felt, Lilith legit considered confessing, particularly near the end of Covention and Sense and Insensitivity; That she wasn’t so dead-set on taking this truth to her grave, that maybe Lilith realized that considering how much Eda had done for her by opening up emotionally, or rescuing Lilith… Even if it wasn’t ‘technically necessary’, Lilith still owed it to Eda to be honest, with the added benefit of Lilith’s own conscience being relieved. Maybe Lilith really was shaping up to confess on her own terms, in a healthy and calm environment…

          Until again, Belos has to ruin it. I think Lilith growing as a person and beginning to understand Eda, in addition to the impending Day of Unity, was what convinced Belos to intervene; Because now Lilith’s loyalty was in question, and so in a test Belos sets the ultimatum of either having Lilith prove her loyalty andcompetency, or else just die and no longer be a nuisance to him. Either he wants to reverse Lilith’s development, or else just be rid of her as a threat completely. I really do feel that Eda and Lilith had been making progress prior to Belos’ interference; Or maybe, his interference DID help, because you need to get through the worst to really achieve the best.

          Lilith and Eda weren’t truly going to make amends until both sisters confronted the darkest feelings they felt towards one another and conquered them, together- And Belos hastened Lilith’s confession, and got it out of the way to pave the way for reconciliation… As an unintended byproduct to his ACTUAL goals, of course, because again- He really doesn’t care for people, they’re more afterthoughts to him if not tangentially relevant. And there are certainly better ways to get the sisters to be honest than what he set up… Eda and Lilith did something with that situation, only because sometimes you just have to work with what you get. And what you got could’ve been so much better, which means it was unnecessarily terrible.

          But, back to the subject: Belos has to threaten to execute Lilith, and now she’s terrified for her life, her own role model will kill her if she doesn’t do what she wants… And in her justifiable panic –she has until the end of the day to do this and she’s already burnt through half of it- Lilith gets VERY stressed-out… She feels very insecure, and she defaults to some petty mindsets and feelings that she’d normally avoid. Believe it or not, people tend to think good, mature, and rational things in a healthy and comfortable environment, VS a cult that is promising death if you don’t comply within a very short and unreasonable amount of time, to do something you’ve incredibly uncomfortable with.

           Maybe there was some relief in Lilith, when Eda arrived for that final duel- That now the blame was kind of out of her hands, because it wasn’t HER choice to force Eda, this was just Belos, maybe there’s some roundabout gratitude towards him for taking Eda’s capture into his own hands, and thus absolving Lilith of some of the painful responsibility by low-key ‘doing it’ for her… This isn’t REALLY Lilith’s choice, this isn’t really her own actions, it’s Belos’, especially since Lilith is being threatened- And so she justifiably doesn’t have to feel bad for her part, because it’s just Belos forcing her to do this! And while she’s not totally wrong…

          Lilith still chose to take Luz hostage, not to mention this connects back to that discussion about how you still have moral culpability, even if you’re just ‘following orders’, or if your situation is so un-ideal that you have to do terrible things to survive (plus Belos certainly wasn’t acting out of any concern for Lilith either). Perhaps Lilith saw the situation as unchangeable, so there was no point in fretting over the cons, and instead she should just focus on the bright side of things- That Eda will get to be with her and will be cured of the curse, and so Lilith looks a little too happy to see Eda arrive for that duel! And as I said- Any smug satisfaction she has from carrying out her job is more from Belos, it’s not actually a reflection of Lilith, just her relief that Belos isn’t going to kill her!

           Of course, like I said- When Lilith is stressed out or not feeling so great about herself… She can default to some toxic mindsets as a pick-me-up. Hence why she brings up being better than Eda through the curse, because what right does Eda have to lecture her about morals and responsibility, when clearly Eda is the irresponsible criminal who adopted this random human? Eda can’t imagine what it’s like for Lilith, trying so hard to be patient all those years, putting in the effort and humility to finally work around with Eda and to adapt to her, to better understand Eda’s thought process… Eda has no idea what it’s like being threatened by Emperor Belos, Lilith isn’t as strong and independent as her, it’s not as easy to protect herself or go off and do her own thing!

          And what does Eda know about Lilith being a bad person for cursing her, Eda doesn’t know that Lilith expected the curse to be just for a day, that she was a child who was scammed, duped, and tricked by an adult- Eda doesn’t know what it’s like to not be as talented, to be so terrified of being left behind! So yes, Lilith IS weaker than Eda… And what about it? If Eda were in Lilith’s spot, she’d do the same- So don’t act so high-and-mighty, there IS a difference between the two of us and our situations; So now that you’ve acknowledged this, stop judging Lilith for it! Stop yelling at Lilith, hating and judging her for not being good enough like everyone else does, like Lilith does to herself, as Belos does now… Don’t forget YOU’RE not so high-and-mighty yourself, not all of the time- So remember those moments of weakness and what it felt like, whenever you judge me, try being in MY shoes, and remember what it was like in them!

          If this is how you feel about and treat me, then maybe you DESERVED to be cursed, so you could be on my level and realize how you’ve always made me feel- That this was the only way you could understand, the only way you and I could see eye-to-eye and truly reconcile! Can’t you see Lilith is TRYING, it’s already hard enough as-is, can’t you appreciate what Lilith DID manage to do and accomplish, you’re just like myself and everyone else, always ignoring that and focusing on where Lilith screwed up! If you’re disappointed that Lilith went that far, well news flash- She’s ALWAYS gone that far, she’s not the perfect person you expected her to be, Edalyn, try paying more attention next time and being considerate of this! This is not Lilith’s decision, can’t you tell- You speak so much of Belos making people do terrible things and being harsh to them, can’t you remember this when he’s literally right there, watching us!?

          I’m your own sister, who’s done everything for you, we’ve known each other for decades and I’ve been putting in the agonizing work to understand you; Why are you prioritizing some random human you just met, a human who enables your bad behavior, over me?! Lilith didn’t want this, she didn’t take joy in this, Eda is forgetting that Lilith has a lot to lose herself… And now it’s coming down to her own LIFE, too! Lilith isn’t enjoying this, stop assuming the worst, that there’s so much more malice from her than there actually is, can’t Eda tell how much Lilith cares, how much it’s been eating her up on the inside over what happened…

          Lilith is TIRED of feeling terrible and she just wants someone to understand, to listen to her, to get it! She’s used to accepting the blame and the guilt, when can someone finally tell Lilith that it’s okay, that you tried your best and it’s not the end of the world… I can see how she got so indoctrinated by the Emperor’s Coven, as it must’ve given her that false sense of validation, when Lilith felt she wasn’t getting any from Eda; But in the end, she realized that Belos’ support and the glory of her spot was all superficial and conditional. But before that, Lilith in her pure stress confesses to cursing Eda, as a culmination of all of her insecurities, her frustrations at herself and others, and a desperate desire to feel seen and heard in a way that she hasn’t beforehand… To have an intimate part of her recognized, even if that means admitting to her worst sin.

           Then she backtracks, she realizes what she’s done, because this is Lilith- And even if she has issues with fixing her problems, she’s at least somewhat learning, or at least not repeating certain mistakes. Lilith remembers that she’s being unfair to Eda, and she panics in the revelation of Eda now TRULY hating her, which was something Lilith always feared. Lilith pointlessly brings up how she can cure the curse, and in retrospect… I think she was fully aware, both from a conscious and deep-down standpoint, that curing Eda’s curse wouldn’t undo the damage, but she resorted to it as damage control anyway because that was what she was used to- In moments of stress, Lilith does things she’d normally know better than to do.

          Lilith tried to de-escalate the revelation by claiming she could help cure the curse, even though Eda’s known for this for a long while- And I think she tried to reframe the cure as coming from her, not Belos, so Eda will feel more open to the idea, as Lilith mentions that SHE can cure it, when in reality it’s more like she can –supposedly- convince Belos to do so. After all, if Lilith is curing the curse, then surely Eda doesn’t mind getting treatment from her, because it’s not like Lilith would DEMAND anything of Eda in return… She’d definitely feel entitled to it, but Lilith has always made a point beforehand to still respect Eda’s boundaries, to an extent- And I don’t think it’s just an issue with tracking down Eda, either.

           Of course it wouldn’t matter if Lilith fully had the power to cure Eda’s curse on her own and did it purely of her own good will, because Eda still hates the Emperor’s Coven, and I think Lilith has reached that point where she’s forced herself to acknowledged this. But she panics and brings up the cure as a distraction, because Lilith remembers that she’s doing this all for Eda, that she DOES love her sister and always will, no matter how aggravating Eda can be, because she’s all that Lilith truly has left. Lilith knows she’s grasping at straws, but she may as well try anyway; She’s reminding herself and Eda that in the end, she regretted the curse and would rather have it gone than stay… That there’s no need to worry Eda, Lilith isn’t going to curse her a second time, not even now! All of this work has been done to CURE the curse, remember…?

          Lilith DOES have remorse, and she’s been putting in the work and Lilith really thinks it’s paid off, she really thinks her work in the Emperor’s Coven has guaranteed a cure from Belos- And if only Eda would just listen and be proud of her for this, and realize and acknowledge that Lilith has grown since then, that she’s made progress from never wanting to repeat that mistake, to attempting to undo it… Lilith is basically trying to damage-control her confession by admitting that yes she’s made a mistake, but she’s grown since then and put in the effort to undo it, and I’ve succeeded in finding a cure! I’m not a total failure, don’t turn your back on me now, I’ve CHANGED since then, the Lilith who cursed you is now gone Eda, you never had to worry about her now because she left, all those years ago!

          So Eda can understand why Lilith didn’t think it was necessary to confess, it’d have just caused the two of them needless pain, as you can probably feel right now…! Sure I wasn’t perfect after all, but you can at least now appreciate how I’ve grown! That’s what you’ve wanted, right- For me to grow and improve, to be the older sister you deserved, to learn from my mistakes? Well, it turns out I HAVE been… Even if it also turns out that yes, there were even more mistakes I made that you never knew about, but if I can fix those, then I can fix the rest, so pleasedon’t give up on me! I haven’t been static, I’ve actually been actively improving over the years, I just… have a LOT to work on, okay, and it just seemed like I didn’t and that I wasn’t doing anything. Lilith wanted Eda to remember that this revelation was something Lilith herself had always known, and yet she still chose to vouch for Eda and bend the law, look the other way for her sister, for years… So please remember this! That all that happened AFTER her worst mistake…

          Lilith really wants to believe she’s stopped hurting her sister and is past that, because the last time she hurt Eda it REALLY had the worst possible impact on the two of them. It’s a desperate reassurance, that yes Lilith has acted smug about the curse in the past, but you should listen to reason Edalyn, try to approach this from a calm standpoint unlike how I just did, if you’re allegedly so much better than me (and I admit this fact). Except Eda IS being reasonable here, Eda isn’t fighting Lilith and avoiding her just because she felt like it, she doesn’t take any joy in this either, and both sisters are mutually trying to survive the depraved situation that Belos set up to put them at each other’s throats.

          And sure, Lilith is trying to soften the blow by conceding that Eda’s emotional reaction to the confession is reasonable itself, that Lilith does indeed understand and consider how Eda feels, Eda just needs to make her actions sensible too; Eda has issues with Lilith not understanding her feelings/decisions and not seeing them as valid, so Lilith insists she actually does! But Eda’s trying to do what she thinks is best for herself AND Luz, who Lilith has characteristically disregarded.

          It’s worth noting that Lilith never brings up, “I won’t hurt Luz/I can heal her if she GETS hurt” to deter and calm down Eda, because she still has a lot more understanding to do. Really, I think Lilith is just so tired of admitting that she’s wrong and has messed up… So when confronted with yet another major example of this (capturing Luz) she doesn’t want to admit it because Lilith wants to believe she’s grown past her old self, that she’s no longer the fool she was and can’t make mistakes regarding this stranger, much less Edalyn; In addition to wanting Eda to make concessions for once, because Lilith feels like Eda has been unfair to her in some ways, especially since Eda didn’t know Lilith was at fault.

          I feel like Lilith just wants to be valued, to have her efforts and achievements, and what little progress she does, be acknowledged… And to be reassured by the knowledge that she IS improving, that she won’t always be a screw-up; I can see why the Coven System’s rhetoric of “If you put in the effort then surely things will get better” is such an attractive lie to Lilith… In addition to wanting to ignore how the Emperor’s Coven also turns around, and insists that most witches will only ever be good at this one innate talent for the rest of their life, so that’s the only thing they should stick to. Lilith wants to believe she isn’t like the rest, that she can grow and improve herself and be on top, that she’s the exception that the Coven System accepts as part of its Emperor’s Coven. Being a part of that group is basically being told that you’re better than everyone else, and the existence of a hierarchy is worth it to Lilith if she can have the chance for such validation, even at the expense of others… Especially, really.

          And now that Lilith is at the Owl House, I’d really love to see Luz “We can fix this together” Clawthorne Noceda provide some support, if she’s willing… I think she can understand how it feels to not have your efforts to improve and grow be appreciated. Then there’s King, who I think has a LOT he can relate to with Lilith, over being someone who feels obligated to do terrible things, and justifies it because he’s not as well-off as others, and it’s unfair to judge him because you have it so much easier, you don’t know what it’s like for him! And maybe Eda could make it clear to Lilith that she DID understand, she always thought the world of her, and every little action Lily did for Eda’s sake meant a lot… Maybe Eda needed to be a bit more upfront about her appreciation herself, as did Lilith.

          Of course, there’s also the revelation of the curse to go over as well, but… In the end, Eda just wants the best of Lilith, so every time Lilith DOES make progress, it really meant everything to her. She even sort of appreciated the lengths that Lilith was willing to go for her, to an extent- But when you consider what Lilith did to others (such as Luz), and how she did things that Eda never asked her to do; All while Lilith expected compensation for these efforts because she wasn’t totally altruistic (while expecting Eda to appreciate this under the lens of Lilith being a good sister, and not Lilith actively making up for something she caused)… It sometimes felt more like a disregard of Eda, rather than an actual regard. I can imagine Lilith letting the guilt of her mistakes crash down on her, and become resigned to the idea of being terrible and causing harm, and admitting that of course Eda had all of these expectations for Lilith that she’d never been able to live up to; She WAS the older sister, it was Lilith’s responsibility by blood to do that, and she failed! No wonder Eda depises her so…

          And while those feelings did occur briefly with the capture of Luz, I think Eda and Luz can reassure Lilith that she HAS done good, that her change of heart was amazing to them, and it’s given them hope for Lilith. She’s no hopeless cause, Lilith has provided them plenty of reason not to give up on her, just recently she gave her best reason why by freeing Eda! And maybe Eda can admit that if Lilith went this far, and did these terrible things- Then maybe she wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind, and that needs addressing above all else. Eda DOES care, and it’s that care and love that led to her being so disapproving and distraught over what happened to Lilith, because she saw it all as harmful to her sister… And with Luz’s recent inspiration, and Eda’s feeling of having never accomplished anything up until her favorite human arrived;

          Perhaps Eda will acknowledge that as the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles, maybe she should’ve done more to really get into Lilith’s head, and get her out of that situation. Or at least, have Eda admit to Lilith that SHE was respecting Lily’s decisions too, hence why she didn’t try to force her… I think if Lilith brought up to Eda that she didn’t think her sister would join the Emperor’s Coven, even if it was to save her from execution- Eda would’ve insisted that she would, or at least she’d work to find a way out for the both of them. And that, I feel, would mean so much to Lilith, and both reassure and encourage her to make things right, now that Lilith understands that she DID get the love she was due, and that her efforts had been recognized.

          She did put in the work, and Lilith did get the pay-off, in a sense… So she has a lot more incentive to keep working to make things right; In addition to also recognizing that she wasn’t getting that appreciation from Belos, who’s an utter lunatic and actually chose to hurt Lilith, only doing good things for her as a side-effect and/or if it’d benefit him- Unlike Eda. Your efforts aren’t for naught, and things CAN and will change for the better, if you put in the work- So don’t worry about them not paying off.

          You’re not taking a risk going down this path… Its benefits are laid-out and guaranteed, unlike what you might get siding with the Emperor’s Coven, or using a curse that is ambiguous about its effects. All you have to do, Lilith, is make that personal decision, to take that initiative- And now that you’re with your real family, the rest will fall into place. Just as Eda provides a support network and a safety net for Luz’s own mistakes and exploration and risks, she can do the same for Lilith… You’re safe now.

          TL;DR I think Lilith HAD been making effort and progress, prior to Agony of a Witch. And even if her issues with willful ignorance were still present, they hadn’t been as bad as I’d initially perceived. Maybe Belos’ ultimatum, forcing Lilith to realize what she valued more –her sister or the Emperor’s Coven- hadn’t been all that necessary, that maybe Lily would’ve figured this out eventually… Though you could also say too little, too late; But also, better late than never. In a way, maybe Belos’ ultimatum WAS better than the alternative of Lilith taking her time to eventually and inevitably have a change of heart, because as we see with the progression of the curse… Time is of plenty of importance, and the more that passes, the more we know will still remain, even after a hypothetical cure.

          My point is, as terrible as Lilith was, I think we were seeing her change and learn, and become set on the trajectory for making true amends with Eda, before Belos came back into the picture. It wasn’t just Belos forcing Lilith into an ultimatum with Luz’s input, that changed Lilith’s heart… I feel that if this scenario had happened much earlier in Season 1, we could’ve seen Lilith act a little differently, perhaps with much less sympathy and understanding. I think there were genuine moments of learning and realization that led up to that fateful choice in Season 1, and I think it’s time I acknowledged this; That in the discussion of Lilith’s arc in Season 2, perhaps we need to remember that she HAD been improving, before Agony of a Witch came about.

          Lilith wasn’t that hopeless, and she was doing better than I initially realized- Not much better, but it’s better than nothing of course. Let’s not give Belos any credit here, and while Luz has done an umimaginable contribution… It’s ultimately down to oneself to change, and all the effort in the world doesn’t matter if you don’t choose to change; And Lilith DID make that decision! If people think Lilith’s character development has been ‘rushed’, then it needs to be considered that maybe we already did see her grow throughout Season 1…

          And so when Season 2 rolls about, it’s not out of the question for us to be pleasantly surprised, and see that Lilith has already figured a couple of things out, not just between seasons; But even on-screen, during Season 1! Sure Lilith had a relapse, but so did Amity, and Lilith also had to deal with the threat of execution, and the belief that joining the Emperor’s Coven WOULD cure Eda. I think Lilith actually, already made some decent progress on her character arc that is overlooked/forgotten… Her transition into the Owl House by understanding Eda and Luz’s points, may not be so rocky after all- I think Lilith has actually had a little bit of a headstart on that! So whenever I look at Lilith now, I can’t help but think;

          ...And maybe Eda feels the same way, too.