#i already posted this in my personal group chat but the only person who's responded so far is my sibling

[dani-the-goblin]

.

[sumicchin]

CHIMES OF THE HEART

❃ a wind breaker (satoru nii) reader insert.

CHAPTER 2

Sakura needs to remind everyone that his apartment complex doesn't have galvanized steel extensions. (1.5k words)

content warnings: female reader, everyone testing sakura's patience

Nirei

No luck here on our end!

Tsugeura

nada here as well!!

Anzai

she's better at hiding than me that one time with KEEL

Takanashi

Skill issue

Sakura reads the messages his classmates sent in their group chat, all of them having the same result. They all decided to go by pair with the exception of the captains and kings as solo to respond quickly to their subordinates. Sakura found himself wandering near his apartment, what's already eerie in ambiance has been worsened by the rainy weather. The perfect hiding spot for a fugitive, he thinks. While there's the possibility the target already escaped to the next town, him feeling the target's skin told too much that the person wouldn't last long if the rain persisted.  'If only I was quick enough, I could've caught this person easily,' he mutters to himself. 

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and whisks it out swiftly. A message from Kusumi, one of Kaji's friends, was sent to all Bofurin students with a video attached.

Kusumi

Sent a video.

This is her right????

Sakura watched the short clip and sees the now clear figure of a girl hanging onto a lamp post, back hunched and labored breathing. His phone rang again, another message from Kusumi.

Kusumi

Kaji and I are near an alleyway by the bakery btw!

Come quick >< !!!!

I think she knows we're here but she's not moving (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

Sakura doesn't understand, but he immediately runs to the said location. Just earlier, he was trying to fight this person, but now he's running with all his might under the rain for some stranger. 

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Many students had already arrived at the girl's location, but none of them knew how to handle the situation. Kaji, already waiting for about a minute or two, stepped forward but was pulled back by his shaggy-haired vice-captain. "She's gonna die from hypothermia if we keep acting like pussies," Kaji scowls. He turns his head back to the girl, only to see Umemiya next to her. Sakura arrives just in time to see Bofurin's leader take off his dark green tailcoat and put it over the trembling girl who hasn't moved an inch.

"We aren't here to harm you, we promise you that." Umemiya keeps his eyes on the girl whose lips are a shade of purple, hands gripping the lamppost already pruning.

What they didn't expect was to see their leader in a defensive stance as he blocked a punch directed to the face.

"Let us help you, please." He states with a firm tone while making sure he isn't gripping the girl's fist roughly. He felt like he was touching ice, and he needed to work his magic soon to save her fast. Umemiya was thinking of having someone come out and help him seize the girl, but he noticed the pressure on his arm was gone.

He felt a weight on his chest instead.

Everyone watches as the girl falls towards Umemiya, who is fast enough to catch and wrap his arms around her. He then proceeded to carry the unconscious girl who was barely breathing in his arms.

"Whose house is nearby, quick!"

Everyone looked at each other, until a certain first year raised his hand.

"My place is nearby, but I don't think it's the best place to keep her," Sakura says. Umemiya however argues that it's their best option so far, so they decide to rush over to his lodging. Some of the boys ran to shops to get supplies such as heat packs and warm soup.

Umemiya, Kaji, Tsubaki and the first years arrive at his seemingly run-down apartment a few minutes later, laying the girl down gently in Sakura's futon for warmth. Said homeowner unfortunately did not own pillows, but Nirei was kind enough to offer his lap as a makeshift cushion. Normally, Sakura would've been embarrassed by what he was seeing, but the severity of the girl's condition had him too worried to care about public displays of affection.

"Kaji says that his group is going to arrive soon with food and heat packs," Hiragi relays to Umemiya whose gaze is stern and clearly bothered, different from his usual demeanor.

Hiragi swears to himself that Umeyama's expression had something other than concern showing.

Suo and Tsugeura were seated oppositely at the girl's side, their much larger hands taking in her cold, paler ones to warm her up while waiting for the heat packs. Kiryu and Tsubaki offered to rush to Cafe Pothos and ask Kotoha for help and spare clothes. Not much was going on inside the room while they waited for the second years to arrive, with only the labored breaths of the girl permeating their senses.  

"So this is yer place," Hiragi tries to break the ice as he looks around the room, searching for at least one piece of furniture. "Didn't know yer a minimalist."

Everyone looks at the two of them, the room's atmosphere slightly lifting. Sakura however feels embarrassed, having his friends over in such a cramped space. "I-I don't have any need for furniture...just a waste of money."

Umemiya lets out a chuckle from his underclassmen's persistence, "I can get you a bean bag and some curtains if you'd like!"

Sugishita glares at Sakura upon hearing Bofurin's leader offer his rival free stuff, "You should be grateful Umemiya-san is offering you gifts!".

"It was pretty concerning the first time we came here..." Nirei says with Suo nodding in agreement, feeling the girl's hand feel warmer as time passed. "I have faith that Sakura will eventually learn how fun it is to decorate."

Other than warming her up, Tsugeura fiddled with the girl's hands as if he were massaging it. A thought suddenly appeared in his head, face scrunching up as he imagined it.

"Doesn't this mean that she's gonna stay here with Sakura for the night?"

Said homeowner exploded.

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A few hours passed, and everyone seemed to calm down a bit. After Kaji's group arrived, some of them bid their farewells but reassured they were willing to help if needed. Kiryu and Tsubaki arrived with Kotoha in tow, allowing her to clean and change the girl's clothing into warmer ones. They all sat in silence as they prepared warm food and drinks for everyone.

"So, is no one gonna fill me in?" Kotoha breaks the silence, everyone turning their heads towards her. Umemiya could only let out a weak chuckle, scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry Kotoha, we didn't mean to keep you in the dark." Bofurin's leader turns to resident chatterbox Nirei, who still hasn't given up his job of makeshift lap pillow to retell the events—from the beat-up red light district traffickers to Umemiya almost getting squared in the face.

"She must've run away," Kotoha says looking at the near folder yet tattered kimono beside the girl.

Suo stares intensely at her sleeping figure whose breathing is now at a normal pace, "Perhaps she works at an izakaya...or even a brothel."

Everyone started formulating their own theories, on how this girl came to be and what drove her to act violently before succumbing to weakness.

"She looks like a princess while sleeping, straight out of a fairytale," Tsubaki says with smitten eyes, pushing away strands of hair covering her face. "I believe that Kotoha and I should be the first ones to have a talk with her once she wakes up."

No one seemed to reject the idea, so it was decided that they all go home to freshen up and come back once Sakura let them know she was awake. Upon hearing the idea, Sakura went into panic mode, asking his more experienced peers what to do if the girl woke up.

He was ignored.

So it was like that for hours.

The Haruka Sakura, resident bad boy lone wolf who happened to be given the flaw of being the worst at socializing, is now alone in his very humble (and minimalistic) abode with a girl who was now sharing his futon. He hasn't moved an inch since arriving at his own room, mind you. Every time he dared to make a move, to maybe freshen up since he stunk as hell from having damp clothes and a face full of wet concrete earlier, he suddenly retreated once he heard the girl make noises in her sleep.

Is it normal for girls to do that, he asks himself. His train of thought was broken when he heard actual words come out of her resting figure, repeating the phrase "Get away from me" with intensity.

His feet drag him towards the girl, her face sweating profusely and eyebrows knitted. She's having a nightmare.

Does he wake her up? Sakura finds himself reaching out to her but immediately retracts his arm. This internal warfare kept going until the girl calmed down on her own.

Nicely done, Sakura.

What he didn't expect was to suddenly have eyes staring back at him.

[emojellyace08]

Found you're writing really good 😈😈 and now you're my next target 😂😂 How do you think gun would react finding someone 100x times beautiful from crystal with great body anddddddd 👀👀👀 is strong like ui daniel but is not quite rich and lives a normal life working at a part time cafe ??? 😮😮😮 lordddd 🤌🤌 the reaction would be priceless, please do it 🥲

Gun Park (Park Jonggun x Female Reader!) short story

A/N: Hello fellow human! Sorry if I ever replied back REALLY LATE. I'll still make Lookism x reader content, but I'm really busy rn so sorry if this felt rushed (and I have a periodical exams to take in Wedensday oof). Genre: fluff? Warnings: mild cursing and mentions of mafia activities (unedited)

Gun isn't exactly the type to easily fall in love, even impressing him alone without trying hard is challenging by itself as many successors, enemies, and other people tried to show their all to the Shiro Oni. But every blood, sweat, and tears were wasted just trying to lay a finger by the unstoppable man, if they would even call him one.

And it is also just a normal day for everyone, people in the city are either spending their money off by their personal plans or continue on with their daily lives. Other women were having their shopping galore either with their friends or alone with quite noticeable make-up plastered on their face yet making their face sparkle up with the cosmetics. Ulzzangs posting their new selfies getting tons, if not millions of likes and social media users having a debate who's prettier or more attractive. Students were stressing out with their school activities or gossip drama with the adults wanting to slack off and get a chug of beer after a long day of their shifts or just take a long nap like a lazy cat with their eyebags being dark and hollow like a panda.

And to most people, you're just an ordinary woman living her life in the crowded city of Seoul. You wouldn't exactly call it the best life ever, but you were somehow thankful to make it this far after long days of shifts and even sometimes working on Holidays even if you want to have a sip of your own coffee at your own place. You're already a functional and working adult yet you sometimes miss your home despite you and your family having your own personal problems. Yet you continue to strive not only for them but mostly for yourself. If it weren't for some men forcing you to have a chat with you by offering their numbers quite rudely, you might even have better days without them putting you into situations you don't even want to experience just because you were considered beautiful.

It was already five in the afternoon, yet you're still there at the cafe doing your duties as a barista and a waitress. The place will be quite silent, almost weird with the sound of silence if it weren't for the chatty customers with some chilling with their drink and pastries of choice. College students doing their research in groups, office-workers updating their marketing plans, and angsty teenagers listening to their melancholic music with their Airpods on. With the stress that you are feeling right now, you felt the need to listen to your own playlist while you watched the sun sank in the sky with a splash of pink, yellow, and blue creating a splash of colors that felt nostalgic yet different at the same time.

Hours passed with people coming in and out, the sky already turning night time with white stars sparkling at night. The yellow lights of the place illuminating at the dark to not only make the place more atmospheric, but to also make the customers feel comfortable with the chill yet warm vibe.

"Miss Y/N, are you already getting the order done for customer five?" your manager with a dark perfect bun for her hairstyle with pale foundation, reddish blush and lip tint, and sunken eye bags (reminding you of a porcelain doll) asked with a raised eyebrows and strict tone as you responded with a hum for agreement while you're mixing and preparing the drink condiments. "Yes Sajangnim (boss) I'm already done with the coffee macchiato and I already have the egg sandwich." you replied while hurrying to prepare the Americano. "Good, more tickets are coming you better hurry up." she replied while she scolds your co-worker that you are deeply annoyed at when she's slumping on the side clicking on her phone instead of helping you out. "She's probably texting someone to date huh?" a voice on your side whispered while you yelped in surprise. "Fucking, geez stop spawning randomly on the side like that." you hissed as he chuckles silently trying to minimize his voice while you also tried not to laugh hysterically. "Okay fine. You're working too much. I'll do the coffee latte and get the mango graham and the croissant." he suggested while your eyes widened in confusion and a bit of surprise. "You sure Jace?" you asked the young man with big ears as he raises a thumbs up "It's fine Eonni (older sister ; metaphorically). Now you go." "You just want your fees to go higher." you teased as he manners to go shooing you away. "I need it since I got to repair Vasco's phone." "Whatever, just do the job right and smooth." you smiled while he finger guns with a tongue-click sound.

You took the orders in your hand and approached the table before you quickly noticed the two familiar guys. You sighed before going closer to the very annoying customers just then the blonde with dark shades greeted you with a dramatic enthusiasm.

"Yo Y/N! It's nice to see you where have you been?!" Goo stood up while waving his hand making the other customers look in confusion. You not wanting to create a scene, you placed the tray in the table and planned to go away. But a hand held your own in a soft but not rather affectionate touch before you swat it away.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" you asked while you felt your blood boiling in frustration. "But we're here to-" "Shut the fuck up Walmart Ken." you scolded Goo while he created a insulting gasp while the ebony-haired man smirked in amusement. "We're here for Charles orders. We're going to take you back in the place where you truly belong for unfinished business." he commented in a calm yet teasing manner making you even more agitated. "This is my business, Gun." If it weren't for the other customers if they ever got frightened and with your manager firing you, you might created a miserable scene that you don't want to happen in the first place. But these people haunts down your biggest fears like a black hole swallowing your entire existence.

"And how did you even find me here? And don't you see the no smoking sign?" you rolled your eyes making Goo and Gun grin more while Gun huffs his smoke, "We have our own ways." "And c'mon Y/N, we know you miss doing tough missions with us!" Goo again interfered while you stood their in cold feet not knowing what to do with this situation. "And besides Charles is offering you a billion won with making the four major crews stronger for him to pay you, even make it thrice the price if you did the job well." Gun offered while taking a sip of his coffee and the other man looking at the menu sheet to order more of the sweets. "Well don't you contact me when either the Workers tried to interfere or your goons stabbing all of your backs." you replied with a sass while Gun just replies. "If that ever happens, I'm not going to hesitate to beat their-" "Yo Y/N, can I get a latte with a chocolate doughnut?" the childish guy ordered interrupting Gun's long speech. Though his eye accessory hides his orbs, you can imagine (almost see) Goo flickering his eyelashes like a puppy begging to play with it's owner. "Whatever, I'm leaving." you rolled your eyes in frustration before going to the employee room and aggressively slamming the door. "Wait what? Y/N We still have lots to talk about and my order-" Goo was about to chase you before Gun kicked him in the legs under the table, successfully earning a hiss of pain from the other guy. "Let her be, she'll change her mind." Gun interrupted while Goo raised his eyebrows. "Hah?! For fuck's sake we're just going to let her run away? Again? You'll be in fault if Charles scolded our scrawny asses again." Goo ranted as the people in the cafe started to weirdly glare at them for being to noisy. "I know where she's going, besides she would get scolded, even probably fired since she left during her shift. So just stay calm." Gun replied while stealing the sweet and umami food that Goo just offered that's been sitting for a minute now. "Hey! that's my sandwich!" "Just buy another one you got twenty thousand won on your wallet." Gun replied while he wipes off the extra mayo on his mouth with a tissue. "Says the one who's chomping off my toast right now, idiot." "Stop making Gordon Ramsey references or I'll kill you."

"Y/N where the hell have you been! Don't you see that there's lots of tickets flooding in here?! Oi you brat answer me!" your manager who's been flickering your guts scolded you while your co-worker from earlier smirks at your downfall, you not only fixing your bag in your locker but also trying to make yourself composed as you don't want to lash out your anger to the people who have done nothing wrong to you (they do, a lot but you just don't complain about it). "If you won't answer my question-" "Shut up." you murmured interrupting her speech in a lifeless manner. "I'll leave. You can fire my ass." "Hey Y/N what is going on in here?" Jace asked before you again slammed the exit door, leaving the poor guy confused and lots of responsibility in his hands...

You ran, as fast as you could. You kept running and running. You ran past the tall buildings filled with city lights creating a beautiful atmosphere, yet the familiar feeling of sorrow began to linger on your mind and heart reminding you of the memories of the past that you tried to bury deep down to start a completely fresh start of the first chapter of your life. But it looks like even books can have it's pages ripped and burned.

After a long mile, you stopped your movement as you breathe deeply trying to catch air like you're being suffocated by your feeling of dread. You didn't want to go in this place, but it is the only place that you called home.

This is the place where you met them, where you grew up, and where you were turned into a monster.

It is an old and abandoned park, the fake wood texture of the metal benches started to rust with the colorful paint with vulgar words and drawings adding to the stain. Trash were everywhere, even a scary place like this looks like it's been a hang out for runaway teenagers or addicts. The trees and plants look completely dry and lifeless since it's not been watered and just not being cared of, making the crunchy leaves fall down into the ground. Newspaper with the dirty and used ashtrays and used beverage bottles were also scattered in the area. It is a complete mess like what you are right now, but the smell of toxins and beer makes your mind hazy and in peace as you try to think of the good memories that you have in here (if you ever had one).

You thought that you can finally have your moment of peace and solitude. But it looks like you have to deal with these fuckers you kept whistling and cooing at your existence. Looks like they're drunk men who's been wasting their life, completely indulged in alcohol and other things that are addicting even though they mostly look formal, decent, and clean. The police were doing a bad job for shooing away people who don't have a home but doesn't arrest people like this. People who were supposed to act normal and responsible now that they have everything, not chugging on alcohol.

"Who is this chick over here?" a skinny man with a white polo asked as his friend's arms snaked into your shoulder, making you uncomfortable. "What are you doing here alone? Is your boyfriend supposed to take-" "Shut the fuck up and leave me alone retards." you swatted his hand away and getting distance from them, but this doesn't alarm the men keeping their annoying behavior in touch. They started making laughs and mocking faces making your blood boil. "Feisty huh? Don't worry, We will take care of yo-"

Everything went fast as you slammed him into the ground. His friends were caught off guard but the other goon decided to take you down. "You bitch!-"

It looks like a bad idea huh? Since you were so fast, you managed to capture and block his punch. You put pressure on his hand as you then twisted it making it dislocate and elbowing him on his armpit impacting pain on his shoulder and upper limb. He is now crying on the ground, coughing and crying like a little toddler who scratched his elbow as the other men decided to attack you besides the leader of the group who cowers in fear. Kicks, punches, and attacks are made by you causing them to get knocked out by your bare strength. You clicked your tongue in dismay when a familiar figure approached the scene. "I knew that you would be here." he muttered while you huffed in pure disgust as Gun smirked at the damage you have inflicted. "If you asked again for me to be a slave of your shitty management I'm not going with you." cutting him off with a unsatisfied tone, you started walking away from the place but then he tapped your shoulder. But you're not in the mood to interact with anybody. You didn't even thought twice that you punched him in the face yet he didn't even budged. A flow of blood starting to drool down on his chin. The masochistic Shiro Oni starting to get excited about your sudden aggression as he let himself get hit in the first place. "Will you stop following me around like a dog?! GET LOST YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Punching me on the face would not end great for you, but this is why I like you Y/N. Now show me what you got can you?~" his demonic grin appearing on his scarred face.

[rangerelizabeth]

“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes. It’s normal for me.”

Hey! I just saw your prompt post and this one reminded me so bad of like something Gale totally had thought was normal (be it like a childhood trauma result or smth) and then John just going “uhhh… no.”

Love your blog btw !

Hi anon! Thanks so much for the ask and for saying you love my blog! @joeyalohadream requested the same prompt (tysm for the ask as well!!) and I had this almost completely finished before I got yours. I'm glad we had the same idea! This is set a couple of weeks after Gale and John first meet as flying cadets at Randolph Field, TX.

Prompt: "I'm fine. This just happens sometimes. It's normal for me."

Word count: 1081

Despite the sun having already dipped behind the horizon, the darkness does nothing to relieve the sweltering heat of the Texas summer as their small group makes the short walk to the bar off-base. With the day off tomorrow, Bucky had managed to convince several of the men to accompany him in letting loose tonight.

Most impressively, Bucky had managed to convince his straight-laced, new roommate Gale Cleven, or Buck, as Bucky had taken to calling him. The minute Bucky had laid eyes on the gorgeous, golden wonder that was Gale Cleven, he knew he had to stake his claim before it was too late. And so, he’d slung an arm around his shoulders and fumbled out some story about Gale looking just like “his old friend Buck, from Manitowoc, Wisconsin.” 

As it turned out, not only was Gale the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on, he was also a damn good pilot, surprisingly shy for his looks and skill, and somehow impenetrable to any of the vices that regular people fall victim to. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t dance. And yet, here he is, braving the stifling Texas heat with the rest of them only to inevitably stay seated quietly for the evening, likely nursing a ginger beer.

It had taken surprisingly little pleading from Bucky to get him to agree to come. While they’ve only known each other for the couple of weeks they’ve been flying cadets, their status as roommates means that they’ve been living out of each other's pockets for that time, and Bucky already knows he’s found a best friend for life in Gale.

He can be happy with that—a best friend—despite the way his heart pounds in his chest everytime he so much as looks at Gale. He knows he has to be happy with that, unless he wants a one way blue ticket home before he barely even gets started. Yet, he can’t help but wonder if Gale would have still agreed to come out tonight if anyone other than Bucky had been asking.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Bucky realizes they’ve reached their destination. After ordering their first round of drinks—several whiskeys, and, as Bucky predicted, a ginger beer for Gale—the men scatter around the bar. 

Bucky stays with Gale for a while, chatting aimlessly about everything and nothing, before deciding it’s time to take to the dance floor. Despite Bucky’s best efforts, Gale refuses to join him. Bucky figures he ought to cut his losses and just be grateful that Gale came out with them at all, so he leaves him be. He finds a beautiful blonde to dance with who looks a little too much like Gale to be a coincidence, and they have fun together for a few songs before Bucky finds himself longing to get back to his friend.

He slides into the booth next to Gale, knocking his shoulder against his friend’s. Two other guys from their program sit on the other side of Gale, but they’re engaged in some sort of animated debate and seemingly don’t notice Bucky’s approach.

“You having fun?” Bucky asks.

Gale shrugs. “I reckon you’re having enough fun for the both of us,” he says teasingly, a small smile gracing his lips.

Bucky opens his mouth to respond, but he’s cut off by the sound of a glass shattering across the bar. Some idiot must’ve dropped their drink, he thinks, not yet noticing the way Gale is tensed beside him. But then, the man on Gale’s other side tosses his hands up in the air in whatever conversation they’re having, and Gale flinches hard. 

“Hey, you okay?” Bucky questions worriedly, trying to catch Gale’s eyes. When he looks into them, they’re glassy and despondent. Bucky notices the way Gale’s breaths are coming shallower, his hands shaking where they rest on the table. “Buck?” Bucky tries again, with no luck. 

“Okay,” Bucky breathes out, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, come on.” Slowly, so as not to startle him further, he wraps an arm around Gale’s shoulders and encourages him out of the booth, guiding him outside into the fresh air. There, they sit on the curb of the sidewalk, Gale seemingly still lost in his head, if his unsteady breathing and faraway gaze are anything to go by. Bucky strokes a hand gently up and down his back and waits. 

Finally, Gale lets out a shaky exhale, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly before speaking. He doesn’t look Bucky in the eyes, instead keeping his gaze fixed on the street in front of them. “Sorry about that.” 

Bucky drops his hand from Gale’s back, not wanting to push his luck. “No, don’t apologize,” he says, shaking his head. “What was that about?”

“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes. It’s normal for me,” Gale responds casually, brushing off Bucky’s concerns. “We can go back in, if you want.”

Bucky stares at him incredulously. Not two minutes ago, Gale had been shaking and unresponsive despite Bucky’s best efforts, and now he’s suggesting they go back into the bar like nothing happened? “Do you want to go back in?”

Gale looks sheepish. “Well, no, not really. But I don’t want to ruin your guys’ night.”

“You’re not ruining anything. You’re the one I wanted to hang out with anyways,” Bucky says, trying to ignore the faint blush rising on Gale’s cheeks at his admission. Though it makes Bucky’s heart flutter with hope, now is clearly not the time to dwell on it. “Seriously, though, are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just… My dad liked to drink,” Gale starts hesitantly, wringing his hands in his lap. “And when he drank he got mean. Violent. Sometimes, things remind me of it, I guess.”

Bucky’s stomach drops at the implication in Gale’s words. The thought of anyone, especially Gale’s own father, intentionally hurting the kind, thoughtful man in front of him is enough to have him seeing red. Gale’s father better hope Bucky never crosses paths with him or he’ll have another thing coming. But, for now, Gale needs him, so Bucky pushes his anger down.

“C’mon, let's get you back to the bunks,” Bucky says softly, standing and offering a hand to Gale to help him up. Gale takes it, allowing Bucky to pull him up from the curb.

And if they stay there a little longer than necessary before letting go to start their walk back to base, well, that’s no one’s business but theirs.

[chloeangelic]

I’ve spent the past week getting slandered in this community with not a shred of evidence, proof, or receipts of me being a mean girl, “Wish Regina George”, a bully, an asshole, someone who spends more time answering anons than I do writing, or any of the other things I’ve seen people say about me out of absolutely fucking nowhere, seemingly because people have grievances towards Gracie that I know nothing about. I appreciate everyone who has checked in on me and asked how I’m doing. 

ETA: I have spoken to one of the people who posted statements and anons about me and we have squashed the beef. The statements made about me have been debunked and they have deleted their posts. Please leave me and my friends alone - I've gotten harassed directly and indirectly by anons and posts for two months and I'm tired. I'm not gonna prostrate myself and try to convince the internet that I'm a good person when I know I've done my best to always be kind and respectful in this community. My words will inevitably be twisted and I feel paralyzed. The damage to my reputation has already been done.

This is the only time I’ll address this, and my anons will not be turned back on because this is literally slander and a waste of everyone’s time. I’ve seen multiple vague posts about me as well and I’ve chosen to ignore it all, but it gets to a point where it feels like bullying and I’m done with it. When someone goes on tumblr live to rehash the same shallow shit talking post about me (i.e. talking shit about people they’re accusing of talking shit), that’s when I feel like my limit has been crossed, and since that same live devolved into an advertisement for the host’s own writing… This no longer reads like vigilante justice. 

Let me get one thing straight: I am here to write about dick, cock and that old man. I am extremely grateful for the friends I’ve made along the way, and I am beyond appreciative for my readers who support me and who like what I come up with. I am 27 years old, I have a fulltime job, and this is one of my hobbies. If you think I’m going to spend my time in a fandom spamming group chats and being catty, I literally don’t know what to tell you. The few uncomfortable situations I’ve had on here have been addressed and squashed very quickly, whether that’s misunderstandings, accusations or anything else. In a creative space, you are bound to butt heads with people occasionally, or have people who dislike you, and that is fine. I know I have an aloof persona on here, I don’t expect everyone to like me. 

I didn’t block anyone up until two days ago when this tumblr live host posted three anon asks in a row about me, and I decided to block the people who seemingly agreed with anons insisting I’m a mean girl, asshole etc. cause why the fuck wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t anyone? I don’t understand why on earth they’re so mad about me blocking them if they dislike me so much already. My shit is still on ao3 if they want to read it. 

I don’t know what my mutuals do in their own DM’s, or group chats they’re in that I don’t participate in, because I stay in my lane and I spend my time writing. Of course I don’t condone bad behavior but how am I supposed to know what happens in GCs and servers I’m literally not in? Or conversations in servers where I’m not active? I have not witnessed any of my mutuals talking shit in any GCs, period. That’s all I can say. Additionally, this whole big/elite writers discord people were talking about a while ago - if that exists, I wasn’t even invited lmfao how’s that for being a big writer? 

One anon said I was an asshole when they tried to have a conversation with me months back, and I assume this was my Rendezvous anon who I was snarky to cause they were snarky to me. I make it very clear that I have limited patience for anons, and when people in my comments respond back to them, they are responding to a statement that is separate from the person who sent it. 

I am not entertaining this insanity any further than this. I will continue to post my old man porn and interact with my mutuals and reblog gif sets of that same old man cause that’s what I’m on here for. If you don’t like me, you are well within your rights, I assume you have your reasons, and that is ultimately none of my business. Everyone has the right to curate their own experience on a website like this. 

Love, 

Daddy

[chronically-ghosted]

the only thing we have to fuck is fear itself

rating: 18+

pairing: max phillips x f!reader

word count: 5309

summary: You get drunk at a happy hour and tell Max to his face you don’t find him scary at all. He takes that personally.

warnings/tags: drinking, like two seconds of scary vibes, smut, (secret) established relationship, work hard, play hard, have secret sex with your coworker even harder

a/n: I’m so sorry to FDR for butchering his quote for the sake of a title, but i like to think that horny bastard would have loved my smut.

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Despite working at a place that was quite literally soul-sucking, your coworkers could throw one hell of a happy-hour. 

There wasn’t a bartender in a ten mile radius from the office who didn’t know you all by name, didn’t shout a greeting over the tightly-packed house the instant you walked in. Rarely was it just a single crew member at the bars – you often got accused of moving in a pack like a five-headed hydra that could drink double its own weight in liquor, beer, and frosés – and being only two-fifths human, the Monster Squad was an alcoholic force to be reckoned with.

Maybe because you actively promoted unity amongst the species, like poster children for positive and “non-toxic human-demon relationships” HR kept encouraging in their Monday-Funday email blasts, but your little group was something of a legend in the area. You thought any notoriety was more likely due more to your faces plastered all over the bars’ trivia night winner boards, but in the office, people tended to stare. Trish, a siren from Santa Barbara, loved the attention, said it was good for her skin – gave her a “dewy” look. Nita, the only other human in your group besides you, disagreed with Ken (a quarter leprechaun on his mother’s side) when Ken claimed the whispering came from the sheer volume of nonsense that started around 4PM in the office on Fridays and continued until you all left the office. Ken was of the belief that the notoriety was actually infamy – to which he was promptly booed and had to buy the next round. 

And yet, to yourself, to the quiet conversations you had in the bathroom mirror after two long island ice teas and whatever was in what the centaur bartender at Lucky’s called an “Ass Whooping”, you suspected there might be another reason the Monster Squad even had a name at all. Within your own fields, each of you were respectable – Ken and Trish were both heads of marketing and Nita oversaw a considerable team of engineers, with you of course a department leader over in legal – one member of your group was, let’s say, more well-known. 

Well-known because he was the flashiest, the loudest, and certainly the most demonic of you all: Max Phillips, VP of sales, money-maker extraordinaire, and a fan-favorite amongst your Overlords, the rest of the sales team, and anyone with working and interested sex organs in the near vicinity. 

To your complete and utter annoyance.

You don’t quite remember how you all came together, who brought who into the group, and when it was unanimously decided that you’d stop snatching up office workers like limes at $5 margarita night after Trish, but it was Max who kept you together, who set up the group chat (somehow mysteriously gathering all of your phone numbers after a very late night), who bullied anyone who responded to his weekly “winner winner liquid dinner” texts every Friday morning with a tepid maybe into coming out that night. He already seemed to know half of the bartenders in the city, all of whom were happy to send over a free round of tequila shots as a “thank you to Max’s friends”. While you’d never look a gift vampire in the mouth, you were suspicious of his influence. Was that vampire hypnosis real? Did he have a pack of lesser, baby vamps to send out to tenderize the hunting grounds?

One thing’s for sure, he definitely didn’t scare them into it. 

“Has Halloween, like, changed for anyone else?” Nita grouched over her second Sangria Spritzer two hours into another fantabulous happy hour at Heel Clicks. The four of you were huddled into your comically small booth up on the landing near the back bar – of course there were other seats available but this had the best view, the closest access to your favorite bartender, and at some point, the shoulder-to-shoulder proximity served as a way to counteract the tipsy swaying. 

Trish leaned around Ken, her beautiful blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

“What do you mean?”

“I dunno,” Nita shrugged hopelessly. “It used to be one of my favorite holidays when I was a kid. I loved the candy, the costumes – all of it. But I really liked being scared the most.”

Ken sorted into his old-fashioned. “Well, if you’re still scared of things you were as a kid, Nit, I think you’ve got a bigger problem than seasonal preference.”

She elbows him and he knocks into Trish.

“Not like that . . . but, like, monster movies aren’t really scary anymore? I mean, I used to watch Ginger Snaps religiously around Halloween, but, uh, now that I know an actual werewolf and he’s the nicest little old man in accounting, I dunno . . . it’s just not the same.” 

“Sorry to burst your bubble on monsters,” Ken shrugged. “But I personally cannot relate. As a member of the Free Folk, my people have always been welcomed, seen as bringers of good will towards man.”

“You know there’s eight movies where a leprechaun murders literally dozens of teenagers, right?” You turned to Ken over Nita, your entire right buttcheek hanging off the edge of the booth. 

“Oh, yeah, baby Jennifer Aniston,” Trish mused, thinking. “If that’s what your uncle looks like, Ken, then I posit Halloween is still fucking creepy.”

“Halloween is definitely creepy and it sucks.” Your ringleader has returned with electric-green jello shots. Max Phillips carried a tray with one hand, his immaculate blue jacket gone to display firm forearms underneath his white, rolled-back sleeves. “Bunch up, kiddies, Daddy’s back with treats.” 

Half the group groaned, the other squealed in delight.

Max hip-bumped you, his ravenous cologne immediately making you think unwise thoughts, as he pushed his way onto the bench absolutely not made for this many people. He looked back at you as he passed out the drinks.

“Now why are we all in agreement that Halloween is a lame holiday?” 

“Nita claims that because she personally knows a werewolf – Ned, right? – she’s not scared of monster movies anymore.”

Max scoffed. “Well, there’s your problem right there. Werewolves were never scary to begin with.”

“What monster movies have you been watching?” Nita gaped at him. “Maybe it’s bad representation, but all the movie werewolves can tear you to shreds!”

Ken nodded solemnly. “This is why affirmative action is so important.” 

Trish smacked him over the back of the head. 

“So, what?” Max continued, crunching up the jello in its plastic cup. “Now that you know me, a vampire, you think all Dracula movies give blood-suckers a bad rap?”

“No, being a human-sized mosquito with too much hair gel is doing that all on its own.” You smirked, dead-eyed, at him. Behind you, Ken and Trish snorted so hard they almost spilled their drinks. 

Max narrowed his eyes at you, in a look he only gave you when you wouldn’t let him ease around legal loopholes “for the good of the business”. Only Nita seemed to be oblivious. 

“That’s a good point, Max.” She thoughtfully stirred her jello with her pinky, unsticking it from the sides of her cup. “I mean, I guess I never watched that many vampire movies to begin with.”

Max broke his heated staring contest with you to look around at Nita, elbow pressing up into your chest as he leaned forward on the table. “I can promise you, doll face, vampires have been and always will be more terrifying and lethal than werewolves.”

“Not the argument I think you want to make, mate,” Ken murmured as you shifted yourself to face Max entirely. 

“Oh, yeah? Enlighten us all –,”

“Nope,” Trish called down the row, “we’re taking this shot before you two get into it again.”

“To Ned!” Ken yelled. 

“To Ned!” 

Plastic crunched, tongues slurped, as jello ungracefully slipped into every open mouth down the bench. You licked your lip, tip of your tongue green. Max watched the movement out of the corner of his eye. 

“So, enlighten us, Max, why should we be so afraid of you?” 

Max grinned out the side of his mouth. “One, I’ve seen more bite out of a pomeranian than one of those Tribbles. And two, whatever-wolves can only get it up once a month. I’m all monster, all the time, baby.”

At this, everyone groaned.

“Dollar to the Dick Jar!” Trish smacked her hand on the table.

“Here, here!”

Max pouted as he took a dollar out of his wallet and slammed it into the center of the table, payment towards tips or the bill or whoever suffered the most due to The Dick. 

“Face it, buzz,” you shrugged as he put his wallet away. “You’re just not scary any more, if you ever were.”

“Is that right?” 

Fuck, you were in a lot of trouble. Beneath the table, his thigh soaked yours in heat. 

“That’s right.”

“You know what is really scary?” Ken muttered, digging around in his crushed up for the last remnants of jello. “Kelpies.”

“Ah – yes! They’ve got sloppy fangs covered in algae!”

“Hey – that’s my cousin you’re talking about!”

Heel Clicks was hands down one of your favorite bars in the area. Devoted to the local music scene in the area, the vibe was a mix of old 70s rock bands, modern steel, and whatever justified lots of mounted horns and hairy cow-skin stools. The drinks were great, seasonal too, and there was always live music on the patio out back. In a twist that you found particularly cool, the old rum-runners tunnels had been converted to comfortably spacious bathrooms in the basement. Behind the solid oak door, the noises from the above bar are nearly entirely muffled, making the slow descent to the bathroom something of an out-of-body experience when you’ve had a few and the sudden silence is almost an echo. 

Plus, these fucking stairs are a death trap. 

You embarrassingly clutched at the railing, the wooden stairs at far too sharp an angle even if you were sober as a judge, much less at a Monster Squad happy hour. 

Stupid Max and his stupid drinks and his –

What was that?

You stand up right on the third to last step, listening. 

In the half darkness in front of you, there are three paths available. To the left, employee storage, the lights above the door flickering, the sign reading “do not enter” pulsating in and out of visibility. To your right, another door, maybe an exit. Always unmarked and always locked every time your drunken curiosity got the better of you. 

And across from the stairs were the bathrooms, left women, right for men.

God, what year is it? Shouldn’t it all just be gender-neutral? You think to yourself, a tad bit more aggressive than you’d usually oppose the gender binary – primarily to wash out the rising concern at the back of your neck.

You are alone down here. It’s obvious. It’s not like there’s that many places for some dastardly villain to hide. Four shut doors and three hallways. Unless some maniac was curled up under the stairs, you are the only person in the basement. 

At least, the only person you can see. 

You don’t realize how sweaty your hands are until you try to continue your way down the stairs. You take a step and nearly slip, the eyes you know are on you somehow laughing. 

One blinking light. No where for anything to hide, so why are you so nervous? You are an adult woman, for god’s sakes. You make it to the floor, the most likely candidate for your demise behind you and –

The stairs creaked. 

The empty stairs that you just walked down creaked and you nearly leap across the hallway to put space between you. Heart in your throat, you make the monumentally stupid decision and call out, “hello? Is anyone there?”

As if the serial killer was just going to announce himself, give up the whole element of surprise.

Blinking through the bleary haze of too many drinks, you take out your phone and flip on the light. A white beam chases back the encroaching darkness, a frantic worried ghost peering through the gloom. And yet, like you consciously know, there’s nothing there. But the darkness feels heavier, the eerie distant noise from the bar above so quiet and removed the sound is more of a memory – the idea of what comfort and community should sound like. But it’s not. It’s too far gone – if anything were to happen, it’d be hours before they found you. If they did at all. 

“Oh my god,” you scold yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. “Get a fucking grip and go pee and then go back up those fucking stairs and –,”

Okay, that was definitely breathing.

Breathing, right behind you. Ragged, hungry, disembodied breathing, in your ear and your heart ricochets into your chest. Your own breath turns short, choppy, panic swelling into your ears, over your fingers. You think you might drop your phone, your fingers are so numb from fear, so you clutch tighter, the trembling throwing white light across the paneled wood in a craze. 

Be rational, this is crazy, there is nothing down here! 

The stairs snarl again and you squeak, all but bolting for the women’s bathroom, desperate to put at least some space between you and those fucking stairs, put some boundaries between –

The door is locked. When the fuck is this door ever locked?

Panic recedes to overwhelming rage because fuck, fuck, fuck, now you’re trapped in here – you can’t go back to the stairs – you rattle the handle, shaking the door against its lock –

“Fucking let me in!”

The light above the exit door goes out. And then the other. You throw all of your weight against the bathroom door. You claw at the handle, begging it to give way. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck – you can hear the darkness breathing –

No, speaking – it’s saying something, chanting, mocking, calling out – calling out your name –

The door suddenly unlocks and you stumble forward – into something solid –

Its hands grab you and like a fucking fool, you played right into its trap. 

It turns you, throws you up against the tile wall, its claws around your shoulders, cold tile against your cheek and you whimper. Whimper when you feel the soft pin-prick of fangs against the back of your neck – fuck, this is how it ends?? – and –

“Got you.” 

That voice.

That condescending, snide, bratty, little –

You elbow the solid body behind you and Max lets out a puff of air, staggering back. You whip around, nearly snarling in his smirking, beautiful face. The bathroom is dark, black tiled walls and floors with a faux-wooden sink and dim lights across the top of the mirror. In the flushed orange light, his eyelashes encourage thick shadows under his eyes and in the collar of his throat. If it wasn’t for that insufferable smile, he’d look painted from thin brush strokes and heavy scarlet paint. 

Caravaggio, eat your heart out. 

“Max, what the fuck was that?” 

He rolls his eyes, rubbing the spot on his chest where you hit him, at the top of his ribcage. “Oh, c’mon, it was just some fun. Saw you sneak off after you got Nita’s drink and thought I’d mess with you just a bit.”

You sigh, willing your heart to slow down, throwing your gaze to the ceiling and dropping your head against the tile.

“God, you asshole, I thought I was gonna die.” You swallow and move your hair out of your face. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I what?”

“You scared –,”

That smile, the crack of fangs across his mouth, widens, the bottom of his lip rolling back over the cut of his teeth, those brown eyes melting into a warm, obscene black, as he meets you hip first against the wall. 

His hands climb over your waist, as though daring you to hit him again, and your thigh muscles tighten. Your hands instinctively trace the exposed skin left by his opened collar at the dip of his throat when he comes closer, chest pressing up against yours, nose against your temple. 

Fuck, it shouldn’t be this easy for him. You sigh through your nose, eyes rolling shut, when he nips at your cheek.

“I think you were supposed to be mad at me.”

“I am,” you groan. “I’m livid. I’m enraged. I’m –,”

His thumb brushes your ribs – not tickling, not entirely touching, but just reminding. Reminding of the force behind his touch, behind his teeth. 

“Baby girl,” he chuckles softly, the sound running down your neck like rain, “you’re melting in my arms.” 

“This doesn’t mean I’m scared of you.” You focus on the softness of his hair between your fingers, the heat of the back of his neck beneath the pads of your fingertips – resolutely ignoring the radiating scent of his cologne coming from up under his collar. More than once had he come across you in his apartment bathroom, sniffing that bottle like some dopey perv looking for a quick fix. Of course, instead of admonishing you, he bent you over his sink and fucked the daylights out of you, his wrists singing with the smell of that cologne. Now he wore it to work wherever he wanted something from you, particularly to overlook some pesky lines of legalise. 

In the hallowed darkness of the bar’s bathroom, he drops a single kiss just below your jaw, inches beneath your ear. He grumbles when your pulse there quickens, and again his fangs find a curve of skin to press against – a reminder. 

Always reminding, always lurking, a threat without a promise.

And he knows exactly what that does to you. 

You release a full body shudder when his hands drop lower, guiding you back against the wall, fingers rounding around your thighs. Like interlocking pieces, your bodies slide together, your arms curling around his neck, the heat of his chest branding yours as it forces you against the wall. You’re breathing all wrong again, but for different reasons this time. You catch a flash of the ink-well darkness of his eyes when he nuzzles out of your neck to admire the mess he has made of your skirt.

“Can I fuck you in this or is this thing too tight?” He asks, like he specifically didn’t get on his hands and knees and beg you to wear that gray pencil skirt only twelve hours earlier. 

You lean up, snagging his bottom lip between your teeth, kissing him roughly and showing him he’s not the only one with a little bite. He groans softly, one hand curling into your hair at the base of your skull, and he licks you, from the front of your lips up to the valley of your mouth. He tastes like the sweetness of his whiskey n’ coke, his tongue rubbing the flexing muscle of yours, the sharpness of your molars. You could spend hours just sucking on his plush mouth. 

Maybe he did scare you. Maybe he should have scared you more, the threat of anyone discovering your relationship a real danger to both of your careers. Maybe it should have scared you, how little you cared about any of that when he palmed your breast over your shirt. 

You inhaled over his mouth, popping off his lips with a moan, his hand cupping you roughly as he dove in to suck marks on your neck. Every moment that passes, you feel your skin ratcheting up with heat, blood almost hot. He thumbs your perk nipple through your shirt and you arch your chest, his massive palm nearly cupping your ribs to your spine.

“Max, either you figure out how to fuck me in this skirt or you owe me a new one.”

“You want me to rip it off you?” He slurs, eyelids heavy, his thigh slides in between your knees, the fabric preventing him from going higher, to the place where you both need him. You groan in frustration and his hands squeeze your hips at the sound. “Tell me fast, baby, because I can’t–,”

“For the love of – just fucking lift it up–,” His hands fumble over yours as your fingers curl under the hem, his own want making that brilliant mind for numbers almost stupid. His warm fingers overwhelm your own as they push your skirt up your waist, and then dig around the line of your pantyhose. 

“Jesus Christ, are you trying to Fort Knox me out of your pussy? Why are there so many layers?” 

You hiss at him as you slide out of your heels and shove your nylons to the ground, hopping on one leg to take them off your feet. “It’s like you’ve never undressed me before.” 

Freed of the chaos of your underthings, Max’s hands rush to his belt, the clinking of the metal sending shivers down your back and straight up your cunt. He doesn’t notice because he’s obsessively watching your thighs. “I’ve never undressed you with our coworkers a floor above us and probably becoming increasingly suspicious about where the fuck we are–,” 

You take him by the back of the neck, hand clenching around the starch white of his shoulder. He comes to you, zipper digging into your hip bone as he pulls you up off your feet. For once that chatty mouth is quiet, open and wet with desire as he takes in your flushed face, the blood pumping under your tits. Max is nothing if not almost supernaturally consumed by the look, feel, texture, and taste of your tits. 

The look on his face is one of those reasons you tend to throw caution to the wind, why your heart almost feels too big for your chest, whenever he’s around. 

He hooks an arm around your low back, tilting your hips forward. You feel the heat of his cock somewhere below you and it takes all of your strength not to grind down. 

“Max –,” he’s not even inside of you and you’re already begging. You bite down on his ear to stifle whatever was rising up your throat. 

“Hang on, baby, I gotta make sure you . . .”

Using your shoulders as counterbalance, he holds himself up against the wet warmth of your cunt, breath stuttering as he rubs the head of his cock against your slick folds. That bratty aloofness is gone; he wants to sink so, so deep into you.

“Fuck, baby, I didn’t even get you ready – but you’re already so wet –,”

You don’t resist grinding down now and he knocks his shoulders forward, needing movement, but fighting against the urge to buck up into you, gasping from the feeling of your cunt. 

“Please, Max, just –,”

“Yeah, I know, baby, okay, just, I gotta . . .” 

He angles himself and you arch your back, unable to watch with the mess of your skirt around your waist, but he finds it, finds your opening, the place he loves to mark, and without any warning, thrusts his length up into you. 

The stretch, the surprise, the ear-ringing split between being empty and then stuffed so full – you can’t help but moan so loudly, you sing to the ceiling. For a moment, your bodies hum with the stillness, the blood in your cunt pulsating around him, you claw at his broad shoulders, need him closer, needing that smell of him that haunts your empty bed as far inside of you as his cock is. His hips stutter and he presses one hand against the tile by your ribs, teeth clenched against the sensation. 

“When I fuck you, every time feels like the first time. Every goddamn time.” 

It’s not particularly the confession it could be, but you shake your head, clearing it of anything stupid like feelings for Max Phillips, your chin brushing his jaw, his nose against your ear. 

“Then do it,” you whine. “Just fuck me, Max.”

With a groan that could be mistaken for a snarl, he lifts you both up right, pushing your hips down and spreading yourself over him. You lock your ankles around his back a second before he pulls out halfway, then to jerk back in with such force and precision your eyes roll to the back of your head. He sets a pace that has pleasure weaving a tight drum just under your stomach. Each sweaty thrust fires sparks up your spine. He really is so fucking good at this. 

This is the release you need, you both need. Sure, it’s an after-effect of having a high-powered job, but it’s also more than that. Max fucking you is unfortunately very often the highlight of your day. He knows what you need, how you need it – how hard to drive his cock into you, it makes you tongue-tied and dizzy. The fast pump of his cock, how it feels to split you apart over and over again, the back zipper of your skirt digging into your back – it’s too fucking good.

“Don’t know where you get off giving me orders,” he grunts, the pounding of his hips into yours rapidly shoving you up your ascension. The slapping, wet noise in the empty room is obscene. “I’m a fucking VP, little girl, and I–,”

You tense your muscles around his cock and he fumbles, his knees buckling momentarily. 

“Do not fucking bring up the org chart right now,” you hiss, your own edge yanked away when he stills. “I’m almost there–,” 

Quicker than he’s been all night, Max lunges forward, mouth open and teeth bare. He bites your neck and then he bites you. 

Fangs puncture your skin, not deep, but enough that your body is thrown into a messy coil of nerves and adrenaline. It knows you could die like this, even if you’ve only ever called the vampire a mosquito to his face, and triggering a self-preservation instinct, your body trembles from the sudden blast of sensation.

Your pupils dilate further than they were, your skin becomes overly aware of every drop of sweat, every flutter of hair, every rub of flesh – and your fucking nerve-endings feel like static, as if brushed by lightning. 

Pleasure so-white hot it almost burns roars up your spine, slick coating his cock inside you, and you cry out. Wail in his ear. Begging him to make it better. To give you your release. The feel of his cock pounding up inside your now-overly ripe cunt brings tears to your eyes.

“Oh, fuck – fuck, fuck, fuck – Max, p-please –,”

“Can you handle it if I touch you?”

You shake your head. “Yes, yes, please, touch me.” 

“You can’t keep screaming like that,” he scolds you breathlessly, the punch of his hips bouncing you against his cheek. For all his vampire stamina, the flush of exertion across his cheeks is truly staggering and a triumph for your ego. Flecks of blood dot his mouth. “Someone’s going to come looking.” 

“I don’t care,” you groan, angling your hips to take more of him. His hand not on your back cups under your knee, tugging it higher up his torso. His pace is relentless, overwhelming – with his weight on top of you, and his cock up under you, inside you, you’re consumed by Max Phillips. “Whatever you do, d-don’t stop. Don’t stop.” 

“You scared I’m gonna?”

“Yes,” you whine. You can feel your heart pounding out its shape into your ribs. 

“Good girl. And good girls get to fucking come.”

Balancing your increasingly limp body, he holds you up right, his hand snaking beneath your skirt, between the sweat of your thighs and his torso, and –

He thumbs that buzzing bundle of nerves, “come for me, baby”, and you do. You come screaming, the tension snapping, vision sparkling with stars, and you are shoved over the edge. You don’t know you’re wailing his name until he comes too, all concern for getting caught seemingly gone as he begs you to continue as he fills you up with his pearly, gooey cum:

“That’s right, say my name. Say my fucking name, sweetheart.” 

His hips thrust weakly, some instinct choking him until he makes sure every drop of him stays in you. You’re going to be dripping for hours. 

His skin is fire-hot beneath his starched white shirt. You’ll be thinking about that for days afterward when you see him in the hallways of the office. 

This is what scares you the most. When you realize it's over and neither one of you want it to be. 

Shaking from exertion, Max slowly sets you down, unwinding your legs from his waist, your ankles trembling against the cold tile. You couldn’t imagine putting your nylons back on, the thought of that pressure against the curve of your lower stomach while you are so full of his cum practically unbearable. 

He lifts his head from your neck, eyes intentionally avoiding you as he inspects where he bit you, breath coming in ragged, long gasps. Sweat darkens the hair at his temple and that post-fuck blush is staggeringly gorgeous on him. He pricks his thumb on the sharp edge of his fangs and with a scarlet bead balanced on his thumb, he smears his blood against the puncture wounds, like someone would wipe dirt away from a loved one’s skin. 

It doesn’t really hurt, but the effects leave your neck tingling. You’d never say this out loud, but you fucking loved when he did that. 

He steps away without looking at you, giving you time to adjust your skirt, your hair in the mirror. You help him straighten his collar because it’s not like he can use the mirror to check himself.

He grins, the flush fading far too rapidly from his cheeks. 

“What are you going to tell them?” You nod to the stairs on the other side of the wall. “This can’t look good for us.” 

“You got attacked by a werewolf on the way to the bathroom. I saved you.” 

“Thought you said werewolves weren’t scary.”

He shakes his head, smirking, then presses a kiss to your temple. “Just said I was the bigger monster between the two of us.” 

“My hero.” You turn your head until his lips drink in yours. 

It is dangerous, your feelings for him. 

He taps you on the butt, pulling away. The lines around his eyes do an excellent job of masking the hurt in the brownness of his eyes. 

“Gimme five, then you come up. Can’t have you looking so completely debauched.”

He kisses you again, betraying whatever amounted to “cool and collected” he attempted for, and without another word, he slides out the door. 

His smell lingers in the air long after he does. The throbbing of your cunt also serves as a fantastically bitter reminder.

You go back to the mirror because yes, you could not have been more obvious if you were wearing a sign that said, “hi, yes, I did just get my back blown out.” You try to fold your hair around your ears at least a dozen times before pulling it back in what you hope to be a casual pony-tail. You toss your nylons into the trash can, pleading that the “oh, I tore them in the bathroom” excuse might hold an ounce of water. 

You think about what’s waiting for you a floor up and your stomach clenches. 

Fucking Max could upset the dynamics of your little group, your little Monster Squad. Whatever the stupid office bylines were, your happy-hour social group is one of the bright spots in your life, especially while working at a place run by those bastard Overlords. 

And Max knew that. He didn’t want to risk your long-term happiness for his short-term. 

Max didn’t scare you because he was a monster.

He scared you precisely because he wasn’t.

You open the bathroom door and return to the world. 

[fuck-customers]

Pros of being added to a work group chat:

•more/better communication

•coworkers can easily communicate that they have a shift available if anyone can cover and immediately 20+ people are informed and could potentially cover

•now mods don't have to individually contact each employee directly to ask if they can cover a shift, just ask the whole chat! (Which works great for me, as I seemed to be low on the list of people to contact, as I very rarely got the opportunity for extra shifts)

•the chat was created by one cool lead, who very wisely did not add the SM or ASM to the chat

•now I have coworker contacts, which before I only had the managers' numbers

•if there's something else work-related that I need to ask the whole crew about, now I can (ex: if I left something at work and need people to let me know if they find it or if I need the schedule, etc)

Cons:

•Bro my phone's old and slow and by the time I see the damn text asking if someone can cover a shift, 3 people already responded 😭😭 I'm competing with 21 people to answer a text first.

+ Bonus: That one time my older coworker couldn't figure out her phone and was texting the group chat personal texts that were definitely not meant for the chat (nothing nasty or anything, just about picking up grandkids from school)

Posted by admin Rodney.

[theladyofdeath]

Better or Worse {11...Simplified?}

For everyone who can't see the original post! Here is chapter 11 of Better or Worse...

…………..

Cassian

…………..

I hate late flights but it was all Nesta and I could book last minute. I’m already tired, due to lack of sleep, now that I’m back on the couch. After getting cockblocked by Eris last week, and seeing that intimacy isn’t as important to my wife as it apparently is to me, I decided that sleeping on the couch would be best.

She hasn’t seemed to mind.

Not once has she asked me to come back to bed. Although, she has stayed true to her word and has been working nonstop since we decided we’d be going on vacation. I haven’t been ignoring her completely. When we’re in the same room, we’ve indulged in that same small talk that we indulged in weeks ago. Then, things started to change and get better.

Now I don’t know what to think. I’m not sure where we are now.

I debated on calling our little getaway off, but being on the beach right now sounds good, therapeutic, so here we are. Even though there’s a wall back between us, we’re taking Gwyn’s advice and going to paradise for a few days. 

Once we make it past security and to our gate, Nesta’s already pulling out her laptop. I mumble that I’m going to find coffee and leave her there to work. I feel a little better, a little less grumpy, once I get caffeine in me. I even feel nice enough to bring Nesta a latte. 

The flight is three hours long, and I sleep for most of it. Surprisingly, the plane seat is just as comfortable as the couch.

Maybe we should get a new couch. 

I only wake up when we land, as the plane jolts once it makes contact with the tarmac. Nesta’s laptop is put away, although I think it’s because they ask you to when landing, not because she chose to. Either way, she gives me a little smile and nods out the window. “We made it.”

It’s hard to see anything because it’s already dark, but I know the airport is close to the ocean. I can see city lights through the window, but I’m too tired to try and brace myself for the nightlife of Adriata tonight. 

I yawn as we pull up to our gate and the seatbelt signs are turned off. “I think our hotel is pretty close to here.” 

It wasn’t what she was expecting me to respond with. Her smile falters, but she nods. “That’s good.” 

I’m not in the mood for the small talk right now. I don’t have patience for it. Swiping my phone out of my pocket, I see that it’s nearly midnight. I turn it off of airplane mode and a barrage of texts and emails come through. I ignore the texts from my employees until tomorrow and skim over my email, deciding the contents of it can wait until the sun rises, too.

I open the group chat between my brothers and I, sending off a short text letting them know we’d landed. Azriel replies almost immediately, telling us to have fun, while Rhys is all radio silence. Seeing as it’s almost two in the morning in Velaris, I’m not surprised.

It’s taking forever for the people ahead of us to disembark, so I open my text thread with just Az, not wanting to wake up a likely sleeping Rhys or worse — Feyre.

You’re up late, I text. Everything okay?

Again, his reply is almost instantaneous. It’s all good. Elain woke up from a dream craving butter crunch ice cream. I’m at my third grocery store looking for it.

Chuckling, I respond, You know she’ll be fast asleep by the time you get home.

Yeah, but her smile in the morning will make it worth it.

I hate the jealousy that shoots through me reading my brother’s words.

Gwyn is still the only person we’ve told about Nesta’s miscarriages. They have no idea how badly I want what they both have.

Still, I reply, Take care of your woman. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

I hit send as soon as we finally get moving, then we’re making our way to baggage claim. Half an hour later, with my bag tossed over my shoulder and wheeling Nesta’s suitcase behind me, we’re finding a cab to take us down to the beach, where our hotel is.

Nesta booked the flight, but I chose the hotel. With a weight room bigger than the one at my gym and walking distance to the shore, I didn’t even have to think twice about spending the ridiculous amount of money to book us a suite. 

Nesta doesn’t seem to mind either as we make our way into the lobby and she looks around, impressed. The thought occurs to me then that maybe I should’ve picked a shitty hotel. If she likes it too much, it will be that much more tempting to stay in our room and work as she overlooks the endless blue waters beyond our balcony.

Nonetheless, I check in and we make our way up to the ninth floor where our suite lies at the end of the hall. 

The room is big, clean, with a giant bathroom that has a jacuzzi and a little living room with a mini kitchen.

 The only issue is that the couch in the living room is nothing more than a loveseat, which means that it will be me and Nesta in the same bed, yet again.

At least it’s a king size. 

Apparently I’m staring disappointedly at the bed because Nesta asks, “Something wrong?”

Surely she knows. One look at her and I can tell she does. “Nope.”

I toss our bags on the loveseat and open mine up, finding my toothbrush and all my other toiletries before making my way to the bathroom and closing the door behind me.

I take longer in the bathroom than I usually would, but I also admit that I’m being a bit of a coward. I’m hoping that when I come out, Nesta will be in bed, already asleep, and I can curl up on the uncomfortable loveseat for what I can only imagine will be one of the worst night’s sleep of my life. I want to skip the fight that I feel is inevitable. I’m too tired to fight, too tired to explain to her why I can’t sleep in the bed with her.

But what I want doesn’t matter, because when I exit the bathroom, Nesta isn’t in bed. She isn’t even in the room.

The sliding door leading the balcony is open, sheer, white curtains fluttering in the warm breeze and I know that’s where I’ll find her.

She doesn’t notice me immediately, her eyes closed as she takes in the ocean air. Her hair hangs long and loose down her back, freed from the braid she usually wears it in, and she’s changed out of her leggings and t-shirt. I don’t recognize the pale, lace night gown she’s wearing.

But she looks absolutely ethereal standing in the moonlight.

I’m breathless.

Even when I’m pissed, frustrated with this woman, she has the power to take my breath away.

Which is why I’m still here, why I didn’t leave for good. I need that reminder as I step onto the balcony. 

Her eyes open as I lean against the railing next to her but she doesn’t look at me. For a moment, neither of us say a word, but then she says, “You can’t sleep on that couch.”

The sound of the waves crashing against the shore relax me. “I know.”

“Does that mean you’re okay sleeping with me tonight?” she asks, and her voice is quiet which is strange for Nesta. It’s strange to hear fear lacing her tone, even if it’s subtle. 

“I did debate on creating a pillow blockade between us,” I say, and I say it as a joke even though it’s something I considered while getting ready for bed. 

Nesta huffs a laugh but there’s hardly any humor in it. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Cassian—”

“It’s late,” I say, and finally look at her. She’s still looking at the water, but her body is relaxed as if she’s come to terms with the conversation we’re about to have. “We can do this tomorrow—”

“No, we can’t.” She turns toward me then and looks up. Her eyes are pleading. “I don’t want this vacation to start off on the wrong foot. This is supposed to be good for us and it can’t be good for us if we’re not communicating. You’re pissed.” I open my mouth, but she shakes her head before I can say anything. “And don’t say you’re not. I’m not stupid, Cassian. I messed up, and I’ve been pretending like I didn’t do anything wrong but I did. I know I did, and I feel foolish. The other night… I’ve been wanting you to touch me like that for so long. It wasn’t that I wanted you to stop, because I didn’t, but when I saw Eris was calling me, my stubborn, workaholic nature took over and I had to answer. If I hadn’t answered, it would have been all I was thinking about, instead of what we were doing. And that’s not an excuse, because I know I hurt you when I answered the damn phone, and you’re right. I shouldn’t have.”

You’re right. Those are not words that leave my wife’s mouth often. 

“But I meant what I said, what I promised you. This weekend is about us. I’m going to wake up every morning, respond to emails, mark a couple of little things off my checklist, and that’s it. And if you feel like I’m taking too long, then tell me. But I got a lot done in the last week, just so I can spend this time with you, uninterrupted. I want you to know that I’m all in, with you. You’re more important than my job, and if you’re feeling like you’re not, I need you to be vocal about it so I can be more aware.”

Last time I was vocal about it, she answered the phone anyways, but I don’t tell her that now. She’s trying. She’s communicating. She’s being honest. So, I nod. “It’s late,” I repeat, although more gentle than before. “Let’s get to bed so we can have a good day tomorrow.”

The fear in her eyes fades and she looks relieved as she takes my hand. I let her pull me inside, toward the bed, where we lay down together beneath the blankets. 

Nothing more is said as we drift off to sleep, but she lays her head against my chest and I hold on to her through the night.

…………..

Nesta

…………..

I haven’t had such a good night’s sleep since the last time I had Cass in bed with me, and the only reason I wake up now is because the newly awoken sun is streaming through the thin curtains and my husband’s cock is burying itself painfully into my backside. 

All night, he never let me go. My back is pressed up against his front, his arm slung lazily across my waist as he breathes steadily into the silence. I can feel his chest rise and fall against my back. It calms me.

I know that he’s sleeping better now than he has in days, too, and I don’t want to wake him so I stay perfectly still, even though I’m tempted, even if all I can think about is the feel of him up against me. 

All I’ve been able to think of since that night is how I could be so stupid. We’ve been making so much progress. We’ve both opened up and talked about things we didn’t want to. I’ve acknowledged that I work too much and that it’s not only one of my character flaws but the main reason I nearly lost my husband.

And the first opportunity I have to prove that he means more to me than any job ever will? I fuck it up.

For a moment, I let myself consider how that night could have ended if I didn’t answer the phone.

Likely with me bent over the kitchen counter, one of my knees propped up on one of the bar stools, as Cassian gripped my hips, pounding into me—

Cassian’s arm tightened around my waist as he shifted in his sleep and I tensed, not sure if he was awake. He murmured something, a sure sign that he was still dreaming, and settled into his pillows, not loosening his grip on me.

His thick erection, nestled into the cleft of my ass, was all I could think about. It made the throbbing between my legs all the more insistent and for a second I thought about touching myself.

What a hell of a way to wake my husband up on the first morning of our vacation.

But then I had a better idea.

I listened closely to the sound of his breathing, ensuring he was still well and truly asleep and then carefully turned over in his arms. It was a slow process, considering the hold he had on me, but after a minute, I found myself gazing into his sleeping face.

Even fast asleep, he’s ridiculously handsome, although that cocky tilt of his lips is gone when he’s out like this. I lay there for a minute, admiring his beauty, and then he stirs and I freeze. The hand that’s slung around me moves lower, his hand cupping my ass with a content sigh before he starts snoring, softly.

I force myself not to laugh, even if it’s adorable, until he shifts again and I can feel every inch of him perfectly against the thin fabric of my nightgown. Mother damn me, I want him inside of me. It takes everything within me not to grind against him, not to take control and give myself pleasure, but this wouldn’t be about me.

It would be about him. 

I reach up and brush his hair back with teasingly soft fingertips. His lips, in perfect calm, form the softest of smiles.

With my hands still tucked in close to me, I press my lips to the center of his chest. It's a soft kiss, my mouth meeting his warm, toned skin, but I let it linger. I let my tongue brush over his skin, and then I move my lips to a new spot and do the same. As I pepper his chest with lingering kisses, I run a hand up his abdomen. His body jumps a little beneath my touch, almost like it tickles, and his hand on my ass tightens. My leg is drawn up over him, and now that I can feel his erection against my throbbing clit, I can’t stop myself from rocking my hips against him, just to ease the torturous feeling, if only a little. Cassian groans quietly, and I know that he’s now awake, even though his eyes are still closed, when his hips rock back into me.

I used to wake him up like this all the time, and he would do the same to me. Waking one another with little, teasing kisses until it escalated into something far more. I miss waking up like this, with him, starting off my day in pure bliss, with a euphoric high. 

He breathes my name, and the second it falls from his tongue, I can’t control myself any longer. My mouth trails up the side of his neck until it finds that spot he loves, just beneath his jaw, just below his ear and sucks vigorously as my hand slides back down his hard abdomen. My fingers tease the waistband of his sweatpants, but he’s not having it. 

“Nesta,” he pleads, yet again, and I nip at his skin, causing him to moan quietly above his deep, heavy breaths. His hips can’t stay still, as if his cock has a mind of its own. But he shouldn’t have to chase it, shouldn’t have to be the one to guide pleasure. My hand slips into his sweats and I take him into my hand.

The second my fingers wrap around his length, he curses. 

I lean back, and his eyes are open, his lips parted. The look full of lust and love and need that he gives me makes me want to mount him right here and now, but this morning is about him. Instead, I pump him a few times, slowly, before pulling my hand out of his pants and just when he’s about to protest, I straddle his thighs and yank his sweats down until he’s free.

Everything about my husband is magnificent. His face, his hair, his body. And most definitely is cock.

Beautiful, and hard, and absolutely enormous. My mouth is watering as I look at him, at his body I’ve scarcely seen over the past year, at his cock, staring and already dripping precum and practically begging for me to touch it.

Gripping him at the base, I lean in, ready to swirl my tongue around the swollen head, just how I know drives him wild, and—

His hands grab my shoulders, stopping me. “Nesta, you don’t have to—”

“No, I don’t have to,” I agree, rubbing the head of his cock over my lips. “But I want to.”

He makes a choking sound, but doesn’t try to stop me any further.

After almost ten years together, I know his body as well as my own. I know what makes him go crazy and what will unleash him. I know every spot that tickles, what to do that will make him moan and groan and lose control. This morning, I’m pretending I don’t. I take my time exploring him, slowly dragging fingers up and down his length, over the ridge of the swollen head, teasing a vein that runs along the side.

Gazing up at him, I grip him tightly at the base and flick my tongue over the head once. As soon as my tongue glides over his skin, his hand is in my hair and he curses violently.

Our eyes are locked as I do it again, and his jaw ticks as he swallows harshly. The fingers in my hair tighten which makes me moan, a sound that drives my husband wild. I slowly work him, my mouth and hand working in tandem. It isn’t until his head is back on the pillow, his eyes closed, his breathing quick that I take the entirety of him into my mouth. 

That foul language of his greets me once more, and his filthy mouth does things to me that I have no control of. I keep still for a moment, my tongue running wild before I release him and repeat the motion, again and again, taking him into my mouth, a little quicker each time. His fingers are still tangled into my hair, gripping each strand hard enough to bring on a pleasant tinge of pain. I relish in it, in that pain, in this moment. I don’t even realize I’m touching myself until I’m moaning, the sound muffled as I take him in, as I cup his balls with my free hand and give them a squeeze. 

Unable to keep still any longer, Cassian’s hips began to writhe beneath me. With one quick buck, I have him fully in my mouth yet again, and I grab his ass to encourage him to repeat the motion.

His other hand joins the one in my hair, but this one smooths it back off my face, making sure he can see everything I’m doing. Gazing up at him, I can tell the second he notices my hand moving frantically, my own orgasm building quicker than I expected it. His eyes grow impossibly darker, fingers massaging my scalp before pulling on the strands of my hair again. “Are you close?”

I nod, loving the gravely tone of his voice, rough with sleep and lust. My mouth is too full to answer directly, so I bob my head in time with the fingers plunging in and out of my center.

Cassian tugs my hair, once again. “Let me watch you come.”

My entire body feels like it’s on fire as my toes curl, that sensation that I haven’t felt in so long starting to flow its way through my body. My mouth, my movements, become less fluid and Cassian tugs at my hair again, this time pulling my mouth free of his cock.

Dragging me up his body, his lips crash against mine as his fingers replace mine. I gasp at the feeling of his fingers sliding through my folds, unable to stop the moan as he circles my clit.

Reaching between us, I grip his cock, still slick and wet from my mouth and squeeze as I stroke him from base to tip.

“You’re so wet,” he groans, pumping his hips into my hand, fucking it like he had my mouth moments before. I’m just as desperate for release as he is. I’m grinding into his hand as he expertly works me, thumb circling my clit in time with the finger he has plunged inside me, knowing it’ll have me on the edge in a matter of seconds. He bites down on my neck and I moan. “So wet and so needy.”

And then he lowers his head to my breasts.

The blunt edge of his teeth on my nipple sends me falling into utter bliss. I cry out as my entire body tenses, my pussy clenching around his fingers.

Cassian groans low and then I can feel a warm wetness on my lower belly and my hand. Still lost in the orgasm crashing through me, I barely notice as Cassian curses softly, his voice laced with ecstasy.

Then his mouth is on mine again and he’s kissing me like I’m the air he needs to breathe, like a man who’s been starving being presented a feast.

My mind can’t form a single thought. All I can focus on are his hands around my waist, his mouth on mine, the hunger and desperate need radiating off of him, even though we’ve both found our releases. There’s something far deeper that just happened between us than helping one another orgasm and feel good. A wall has broken down, a barrier has crumbled that has been up for far too long. I feel lighter as he kisses me, as his tongue brushes mine, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

And when I break our kiss to meet his gaze, I know, without a doubt, that he feels it, too.

[jikookuntold]

Where is your red line when you would admit that jikook is not dating ? Now when you see that Jimin is free, Jungkook is alone too, inviting whoever will come to his home to not be lonely and Jimin is nowhere to be seen. How do you feel now?

Nowhere.

Never.

And I feel great, Thank you. Lol

But don't go anywhere, I'm not done yet. I have questions too. My question is why you are so bothered by me believing in Jikook dating? I know many people out there believing in the most crazy stupid things, and I can't give a shit about it. Why can't you be the same? Or is it because you wake up every morning and monitor all the activities of Jimin and JK to see if you can find an evidence that is slightly not aligned with the idea of them dating? And then you come to your fake tmblr accout with 2 following and spam the blogs who turned off anonymous asks? This is a very obsessive and pathetic behavior if you ask me. Anyways I'm going to ignore you for the rest of this post because this is not about you, and your ask was just an excuse for me to write my thoughts.

Based on VHopeKook live last night, JK decided to invite members to "his place" to talk and have dinner together, and only Jhope and Taehyung accepted his invitation. So, Jimin not being there means that Jikook is not a thing? Okay, let's imagine if Jimin was one of members who responded JK's invitation. Wouldn't they repeat the same thing, saying that this proves they don't live together? The same people said that Jikook haven't seen each other in months, and it was only a matter of time to be proven wrong.

The story these people are trying to make is some type of a mutual pining. We see Jikook talking about each other, watching each others' videos and lives, JK invites jimin for food, Jimin invites JK for dance practice, JK invites Jimin to do boxing, Jimin wants JK to make him noodles and JK wants to watch his performance at music shows. They should take Yoongi's advice for that ARMY and just date. Lol

It's funny how people were getting hit tweets by making fun of JK building a mansion in Itaewon saying he doesn't need a mansion when his house has no decoration and he uses secondhand furniture. These people completely ignore the possibility of Brunnen actually not being his (only) place to live, since we already know JK is a very neat and perfectionist person. Apparently making fun of JK is more acceptable than that.

Wherever JK lives, he simply can not play loud music there, he can't do karaoke at 4am and not having neighbours on his door complaining. There is only one place that has no other residents and it is Brunnen building because it's all rented by Hybe entertainment, and as we can see JK uses that place for doing his special lives (which always include midnight loud music and karaoke) and other activities. Yes, he has clothes, kitchenware, a pethouse and other personal things in that place, and we can tell he has spent many nights there. But don't forget that JK is a millionaire, he can afford many things. He can afford things in double, he can buy more than one pethouse, and he can have more than one place to stay. It's not that hard to understand.

So let me give you a scenario; JK is leaving for LA (in a few hours the time I'm writing this post), he needed to pack some stuff, and since some of his clothes were in Brunnen, he stopped by to do the laundry and finish his packing. Since he was alone he invited the member in their group chat. Jhope came by because he loves to spend more time with members right before his enlistment, and Tae also came because he was alone. Jimin didn't come because he was tired or unavailable. VHopeKook had a great time together and shared some minutes of it with us, then VHope left, and JK kept getting ready for his business travel. And again, none of this had nothing to do with Jikook being a couple and living together.

[beaker1636]

First Christmas - Vinny Mauro

Background: Y/N is the newest drum tech for Motionless and they are on tour, only having 2 days off for Christmas it was spent away from home and in a hotel.  I also made her dad a famous musician in this but never said who so…. Theres that.

Also Welcome to Christmas in September thanks to @tearfallpixie and @nerdraging4point0 encouraging my unhinged ass to post a Christmas fic in September. Also please be gentle, this is literally 3 years old so back when I first began writing fanfics so while I think it is cute and love it I also can recognize that I have come a long way and would have changed a lot if I wrote it now! Enjoy!

Well, like usual you were awake before the boys, not that it bothered you any as it gives you some peace to yourself before you are forced to figure out whatever is going on this time.

“We all are still gathering in Rick and Vin’s room this morning, correct?” You send in the group chat before walking into the hotel lobby to grab some coffee from the in house coffee shop.  In doing so you accidentally bump into Gabby, Rick’s girlfriend who just flew in and he has no clue about.

“Hey y/n,” she says, pulling you into a hug. “Has Ricky figured any of this out yet?”

“Not a single person has a clue that I arranged with you to fly in for Christmas.  I figure we can still do the secret santa thing with it… just like we planned hence me paying for your ticket,” you tease, smiling at her and happy to help make her and Ricky’s Christmas special.

Both of you grab a coffee and then make your way up to your hotel room, she didn’t book one as she figured she could stay in your room with you and then with Rick once he knows.

“Do you mind if I jump in the shower quick? It was a long flight and I could really use it,” she asks you, the hint of jetlag visible on her face but still not outweighing the excitement that is there.

You nod and as she does so you quickly get dressed, not bothering to try much because it is just the guys and they have all seen you in your lounge wear so you just throw on jeans and a hoodie… that you are pretty sure you stole from Vinny but you don’t remember anymore honestly.

Your phone dings and you finally get a response from someone in the group chat, Chris.

“Yeah, we are all planning on it in like an hour, still correct?” he asks.

After multiple replies that say that is correct you set your phone down when Gabby steps out of the shower, getting to work on her hair and makeup as she wants to look decent for the first time she is seeing Rick in months.

“I’m anxious and we have a little time left, can I do your makeup y/n? I know you hate doing it yourself,” she asks you, already coming towards you while hoping that you will say yes.

“Sure if you want to, it will kill time,” you respond as you get your makeup bag out, avoiding her eye contact when your mood falls slightly.  “Honestly I didn’t plan to do it  because I know at some point today I will probably cry being the first Christmas since losing dad.”

“It will be a rough day for you for sure, but you still will have all of us here for you today.  We all love you and are here for you.  The boys already have said that they aren’t going to let you leave if you try.  I also think there is one that really loves having you here… close your eyes,” she says, teasing you about your not so hidden crush on Vin.

“Yeah, only because I keep fixing all his broken shit,” you respond as you do as she asks, closing your eyes,

“We all know that is not the only reason why he likes you, but whatever, keep lying to yourself.  Open up and I’ll finish with your lashes,” she says to you.

You choose to ignore what she just said but do open your eyes, glad that she is almost done and that you can get away from this awkward conversation.  You love your best friend and love that she got you this job… but she definitely can be irritating when she chooses to tease you about things.

“Well, get your bow on Gab, it’s time to be there and I can’t wait for everyone to find out my secret santa gift for Rick,” you say, helping her put her bow in her hair before you sneak off ahead of her towards the hotel room you are all meeting in, she follows behind you keeping back so that when Vin let you in the door nobody sees her.

You instantly walk in and demand that you get to give Rick his gift first as you had to leave it in the hallway as you find a seat on the floor, Vin taking a seat next to you.

“Okay, so clearly my gift is for Rick and I am not trying to rush anything but even if we wait for everyone elses he has to go get it like now.  Sorry, it was too big so it’s in the hallway still,” you say with a smile as you watch the confusion on his and everyone else's faces as he makes his way towards the door.

“What the fuck could you have gotten thats too big to bring in?” Ryan asks you softly as everyone watches the door.

The second the door opens you hear a gasp and look up to see Rick pulling Gabby into a tight hug and kiss, clearly happy that he gets to see her for the holiday.  Everyone starts chatting to let them have their moment, waiting for them to come into the room before continuing.  

Rick instantly pulls you into a hug when they do, whispering a thank you in your ear which makes you blush and smile, excited that you did something that he really appreciated.

They all slowly make their way around the room, everyone passing out their secret santa gifts, laughing and having a great time before it’s finally your turn to open yours.

“Okay y/n, last gift is yours and clearly it is Vin who drew you so,” Chris trails off glancing over at you.

“Wait, give me a second to start recording before she gets it… okay and go,” Ricky says, you now embarrassed about the fact that for some reason Rick is recording only you opening your gift.

“Can I ask why the hell you are only recording my gift?” You ask, looking up and annoyed about the prospect of being recorded.

“Your sister helped me with your gift and made me promise that we would get a video of your reaction.” Vinny says as he hands you a rather big box.

“Oh god, should I be scared about this?” You ask, trying to make a light joke to make things less awkward.

You slowly remove the paper, slightly disappointed to see that the box is plain.  Opening the box it takes you a second to register what is going on, but when you do you can’t help the gasp that escapes your lips as you slowly pull the blanket that is in the box out, instantly tears are flowing down your face.

“It’s…. How did you?” you can’t even get your words out as you look closely at all the details of the quilt that is in front of you.

“I got your sisters phone number from Gabby so I could ask if she had one of your dad’s band tour shirts so that I could have one of those bears made with it for you and she mentioned that she had an entire tote full of old merch shirts that he kept over the years.  So I asked my mom who sews a lot to help me make a t-shirt quilt of all of them for you.  I knew that having something of your dad’s for Christmas would mean a lot more than something stupid from the store,” he says, watching you with a big smile when he can clearly see how much you love it.

You glance up at him, meeting his eyes with tears still falling from yours. “I-I love it, I.. thank you,” you say softly, leaning over to pull him into a hug. 

He moved slightly, pulling you into his chest while you cry, a hand moving to brush through your hair to comfort you as you cry. 

“Okay so can I look at it? I haven’t seen it yet,” Gabby asks, you nod your head without moving, still needing another second to compose yourself.  Listening to everyone around you talk while you gather yourself.

Slowly you get yourself a bit more composed and lift your head away from Vin’s chest, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your hoodie before realizing that some of your makeup is on Vinny’s shirt now from where you cried.

“Shit, sorry Vin, I didn’t mean to stain your shirt,” you mumble glancing down, embarrassed.

“It’ll wash off, I don’t mind,” he responds softly with a smile. “You on the other hand, why don’t we go wash it off your face now that you look like us after a show.” 

You can’t help but giggle at his awful joke as you get up and make your way to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth to wet in the sink, unaware that Vinny has followed you until you see him in the mirror behind you. 

“Here, let me help you.  After all I am the reason that you are crying,” he says  as he gently takes the washcloth out of your hands to begin cleaning your face with it, careful not to rub your skin too roughly.

Once he is done he pulls you into another hug for a minute, just standing there holding you for a moment before you both make your way back out to the main part of the room towards everyone else, both of you standing in the doorway for a second while you watch everyone talk.

“Hey guys look up,” Chris says with a smirk as you both glance up at the ceiling.

You instantly blush bright red when you realize that what he was trying to show you was mistletoe that is hanging from the bathroom door frame, no clue what you should do in the moment.

“What the fuck? I don’t remember us putting any up?” Vin asks, glancing at Rick with a confused expression on his face.

“That’s because there wasn’t, I just hung it up while you both were in the bathroom so we can trap you guys.  Figured the two of you deserved a second gift,” Justin says, winking at both of you when you look at him as he speaks.

“And you did ask us how you should make a move so we decided to make it for you,” Ryan adds with a laugh.

“None of you are going to shut up until I actually do it are you?” Vinny asks, glancing around the room while avoiding your gaze as everyone nods at the two of you. “Fuck, please don’t punch me for this.” he says softly.

Next thing you know his hand settles on your cheek, lightly making you look up at him.  For a second he hesitates, and you aren’t fully sure what you expect until you feel his lips gently on your own.  You hesitate yourself before you start to kiss him back, shy and unsure what to think when he pulls away, both of you quiet as you process what has just happened between the two of you.  

“You’re welcome,” Chris says loudly. “Now stop being shy and admit that you both want to be with each other so the damn tension is finally gone…. And then we will figure out Christmas dinner.”

Feeling shy you go and take your seat on the floor again, embarrassed but honestly happy with what just happened.  Even more so when Vin rejoins his spot next to you and takes your hand, pulling you into his side as his way to confirm that Chris was right and he does like you without saying it out loud.  You can’t help but think that you should probably talk about everything but decide to enjoy the moment while it lasts, the two of you can always talk about this at a later time when you are alone. 

[girltalkcollectives]

The Truth About Living Rent-Free in Other People's Minds

The TikTok sound plays in my head sometimes: “Some people won’t be happy until they see you at your lowest.” At 20, I’ve already learned this lesson more times than I can count. Not from the obvious trolls who leave hate comments on your posts – they’re easy to block and forget. I’m talking about the subtle soul-crushers, the ones who hide their daggers behind “constructive criticism” and “I’m just looking out for you.”

Take last semester. I started posting my graphic design work on my social media, slowly building a following. Nothing massive – just genuine engagement from people who vibed with my aesthetic. Then came the DMs from my high school bestie: “Your feed looks kind of oversaturated lately.” “Isn’t everyone doing that Y2K style now?” “You should probably have a backup plan.” Each message felt like a tiny paper cut. Individually harmless, collectively draining.

It's fascinating how people reveal themselves when you start gaining momentum. The same friends who used to hype up your selfies suddenly go silent when you land a brand collaboration. The group chat that was once filled with "miss you babes" becomes a graveyard of read receipts when you share good news. And don't even get me started on family functions – where relatives weaponize their "concern" about your creative career while praising your cousin's traditional path through law school.

The internet has made it even more complicated. We're expected to be authentic but not too raw, ambitious but not "pick me," confident but not cocky. Post about your achievements? You're bragging. Keep them private? You're being shady. Share your struggles? You're trauma dumping. Keep them to yourself? You're putting up a fake front. It's exhausting trying to navigate these unwritten rules while people wait for you to slip up.

What's even more twisted is how this behavior gets normalized. We've all seen those viral tweets: "If your friends can't handle your success, you need new friends." Sure, but they don't tell you how it feels to actually cut off someone you've known since middle school. They don't mention the guilt that comes with outgrowing relationships, or the loneliness of being in between friend groups because you're evolving.

The real plot twist? The biggest opposition often comes when you're doing absolutely nothing wrong. Just existing authentically, pursuing your passions, or choosing a different path can trigger people. Their comments say nothing about your worth and everything about their wounds. Maybe your confidence reminds them of their self-doubt. Maybe your willingness to take risks highlights their fear of failure. Maybe your growth makes them uncomfortable with their stagnation.

I used to think I needed to respond to every backhanded compliment, to defend every choice, to justify every win. Now I understand that someone else's need to minimize my experience isn't my responsibility to manage. Their negative energy is like those spam calls about my car's extended warranty – I can acknowledge they exist without picking up.

Here's what I know at 20: You can't control how people receive your light. Some will use it to light their own path, others will try to convince you it's too bright, and many will attempt to interpret its meaning without ever asking you what it means to you. The only thing you can control is your commitment to keep shining.

So post that mirror selfie when you're feeling yourself. Share that win at your part-time job. Tweet about that project you're proud of. Let them talk. Let them unfollow. Let them project. Their reactions are their responsibility, not your burden to bear.

Your success isn't a personal attack on anyone else's journey, but their reaction to your success tells you everything about theirs.

[flyingspicerack]

hey guys, this is very hard for me to talk about and bring up, but ive talked to a few people about it in priv already, and I think im ready to publicly talk about it...

When i joined the ososan fandom back in March, it was a bit... dead? And i was trying to grasp at straws, trying to find people to connect to, trying to make some friends, and came upon one person who I seemed to mesh with really well. She posted a lot about a big server she had full of people to talk about her content with and I was at first wary to join (i dont like big servers) but did so anyway. However, as I was wary, the two of us stayed in DMs for quite a while, in addition to me being in the big server as well. This person was equally reciprocating conversation with me, with equal excitement, with equal interest to the subject matter. I believe everything is going fine, them and I, i think, are becoming closer friends, she invited me to a smaller group run by someone else, things are good for a couple weeks. Im showing up and watching art streams, sure, im a little awkward, its a new group of people and I have adhd and am very neurodivergent (to which she claims she is as well) so i'm a bit... weird or whatever, but who isnt??

Then, I'm pulled aside, im pulled into a smaller group chat with this person and two 'mediators' to which this person proceeds to tear into me, telling me that i make her uncomfortable, that im being codependent with her (bitch the 'co' in 'codependency' implies ur reciprocating but claimed i was the only problem), i put her up on a pedestal, says our age gap is weird, etc. (I have screenshots of the whole 'confrontation' if ppl want to see it) and i was terrified... She never indicated prior to this that I was making her uncomfortable... I thought i was doing everything correctly, i thought i was being a friend, i thought we were equally excited to hang out with one another?

So, from this, because of this, this bitch fucking traumatized me. She had me believing, and still trying to unlearn, that i am annoying, that i am a nuisance, that im a bother to everyone that i come around, she destroyed my self esteem and destroyed how i try to make friendships because i am SO SCARED all the time now... that one of you is going to turn around and tell me that I put you on some kind of pedestal, that im being annoying and bothering you all too much, its why i disappeared the other day because i got scared i was posting too much, that i got scared that i was ... doing something wrong...

So... ok now that im in it, writing this, excuse my lack of composure for the rest of this post, i tried to hold it but now im getting angry

SO FUCKING MEANWHILE THIS BITCH, talking about codependency and age gaps in friendships, her two 'lackeys' apparently were her ONLY friends during like 4 years of her life (codependent hippocracy) AND she was into ososan from the beginning when she was like fucking 14, and one of her lakeys is OLDER than me at 29 AND WAS FRIENDS WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS 22 AND THIS BITCH WAS 14 SO you're gonna sit here and tell me that OUR age gap is weird when THAT SHIT is going on????????????????????? And fucking- PUTTING you on a fucking PEDESTAL?? when YOU are the one who is the OVERLORD of this fucking server you have with like 50+ peons, AND you have this nasty ass notification in the server to alert EVERYONE when someone leaves to which is kinda creepy and controlling??

Anyway i responded scared out of my mind and backed off... she didnt want to cut me out, just limit conversation and take me out of the smaller knit circle and we could still be friends, but obviously this freaked me out and i didnt talk to her much after that.... ANYWAY so this person THEN has the audacity to reach out to me a month or so later and is like 'hey... we haven't talked much and i think something might have happened between us? are we ok? you're really distant" and then i fucking laid into her cause i had the month to think on it...

If any of this behavior sounds familiar to you, its bc the person 'in charge' is known as Ava, or pinklemonfruit here on tumblr, and one of her lackeys? Lovenu, who im pretty sure a lot of you already know of... theres another one, her name is emmy, her username here i believe is lichenqueen and was the other 'mediator' i have been told by one source that they potentially could be lying about their age, but take this with a grain of salt bc i have no proof of this

I unfortunately dove right into this when i came into the fandom bc i didn't know any better, i didn't know that these people were bad and caused problems back in the day... but now im aware and i need everyone else who may interact with them to know that they are not good people and have hurt me personally. They have caused me trauma that I am trying really hard to get over but i fear its going to take a long time...

This is MY personal story and account of interactions with these people and I will continue to believe what I know from personal experience. If you come to me, trying to defend any of these people or try to make light of this situation, you will no longer be allowed to associate with me. This fucked me up, and I will not compromise on this, you will no longer feel safe to be around if you condone how these people treated me. If you do not believe my words, then fine, but i will no longer desire company from people who will condone this type of treatment that I had to endure and have been suffering through the aftereffects of.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my story and im sorry if it ended up too personal at all. But, I really hope those that read this will... understand my timid behavior? Why im ALWAYS saying sorry? Why im always so scared in group setting like aggies, why im always so apprehensive and timid and keep thinking people are lying to me about really liking having me around? Its because of this, this is truly and horribly messed up to do to someone... making them feel so low and horrible about their existence ...

if you have any questions, i am willing to answer them...

[charmixpower]

@shiningclown69 I just realized I never made a post about any post s1 Briven things??? Crime on my part, truly

Season 2 Briven let's fucking goooooo!!!!

After the Battle of Magix Brandon is very reluctant to leave Riven after the whole jumping off of a building after learning his first real relationship was a lie with extenuating monster circumstances, and the hatred and resentment Brandon KNOWS most of the other specialists are feeling after seeing Riven and Darcy but he literally has to go because of his job but he is NOT happy about it

Erendor bitching about Riven being a terrible influence on Sky and Brandon smiling and nodding while trying not to strangle him

Riven stays on Magix after the battle, primarily because there would be nothing worse than talking to his family after all of that, and Brandon sends him good morning texts even though they're in different planetary timezones

Riven: *having the worst dissociative episode of his life*

Brandon: Goodnight on Magix <3

Riven: I guess life is worth living

I think Brandon would be an amazing texter, he talks about his day, responds regularly and consistently, and that also makes the Darcy reveal easier on Riven

Musa is all up in their business like you cannot imagine. Musa only goes home to Melody for a little bit during the summer before going back to Alfea (she managed to convince her dad it's cheaper and she can get some community service) and whenever she sees Riven she's all like "ooooo what did Brandon send you??" Like at least a solid half of Riven's texts back to Brandon are co written by Musa and it's so obvious neither of them know what their doing

It's okay tho bc Brandon thinks it's adorable and is so happy that Riven is making friends that aren't him. Like half way though summer he starts including things for Musa because he's well aware she's reading all of their texts

Eventually Helia comes back to RF and accidentally runs into Musa who has Riven with her and they chat a bit. Like they're not close and neither Musa or Riven think to mention it to Brandon but Helia has already decided when school starts again he's going to personally protect Riven from anyone who tries to bully him

I can't believe that Brandon is Sky's only body guard in their age group, like if Eraklyon has child soldiers there's probably more than one, so Adrian is trying to figure out who the fuck Brandon is texting and why Sky is bitching about it and Brandon is making a game out of playing keep away

Please note that this entire time Sky is like "dear god Brandon out of everyone on Magix, why him????". Poor guy is like pre exhausted of this entire situation. He's happy for Brandon he promises, but also he's dying. "Why him? Why that one? You could date anyone who likes men and you picked that one. Brandon why?" He is not doing good

When school starts again Riven is all like "hi...<3?" And Brandon thinks it's cute that is ALL

Then Helia and Brandon mert and make eye contact with each other from across the room

Helia: Well Riven doesn't have parents that I respect so you have to impress me and Saladin instead

Musa: me too

Helia: Musa too

Brandon: you literally only met Riven over the summer

Helia: irrelevant, what are your intentions with my son

Brandon: I appreciate that someone is looking out for Riven but MOVE

This gets worse after Helia and Flora start dating, what are your intentions with their son?? Sky is having an aneurysm in the other room. It's fine, everything is fine

Bonus points is Stella giving Riven shovel talk both before they break for summer and after they get back just to make sure it sinks in, no one knows she did this because Riven is too scared of her to snitch. I just need to let you know it happened

Brandon's coworkers also take a looksie at Riven but they're trained spys so it's more stalking over shovel talk. Riven brushes it off as him being paranoid but Brandon definitely notices and gently tells them off. Normal child soldier behavior over here

Sky wants to give the shovel talk but Brandon looks at him with the neutral look of displeasure whenever he even mentions it

(Riven is kinda in tears about how much Musa, Helia, and Flora care about him. He just got something in his eye, it's okay, everything is okay)

Brandon and Riven cuddle after the news of the Trix breaking out of light rock hits the news and it's cute

Riven watching Sky and Brandon go off on a mission to infiltrate a devil bird's lair without magic to fall back on: this is fine, I'm fine, I'm not sick with worry at all

Riven was brooding in the Winx's dorm without Musa so I'm just assuming Flora let him in, she makes him tea while he worries about Brandon. Musa eventually joins bc the cute girl she just met is already going on another dangerous mission and what the fuck!!!

Brandon doesn't mention the Amentia nonsense to Riven aside from "I was kidnapped into a arranged marriage.", Riven ends up hearing about it from Chatta

Riven: if you ever wanna go back to fight her I'm always down

Brandon: aw that is so sweet of you <3, I would rather die than see that woman again

Riven: understandable have a nice day

Brandon tells Riven about the stupid shit Sky is getting up to and they BOTH rag on Sky for being in the tree and being creepy, getting Timmy and Helia to join in, but unfortunately for Brandon, Riven strongly agrees that Avalon is so fucking creepy

On one hand Riven and Sky are holding a civil conversation, on the other hand its because they're planning a murder of the new Alfea teacher

Brandon watching Helia and Flora talk knowing he's gonna have to deal with MORE people meddling in his relationship: (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)

Riven watching Brandon flirt back with everyone who flirts with him: don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous don't be jealous

Brandon tones it down bc he knows his bf is insecure but he physically cannot stop the manwhore behavior, it's an important part of him

Riven getting freaked out bc he's SO sure he can sense Darcy and no one believing him except the squad while they drag him to Saladin to warn him

People are kinda pissed that Sky and Riven shucked the match at first and Brandon bodily shoves them out of his way godbless

When Timmy goes to Brandon for relationship advice Riven is there and asks Musa for advice on Timmy's behalf, and it's STILL horrible. Sorry there is not a single brain cell between them Timmy you are not getting any help with your love life

Flora: anyways now Tecna is on the Avalon is evil train and we think she has a point

Riven: VINDICATION. I'll text Sky

Brandon, who took the phone out of Riven's hand: I understand what your all talking about, but please make a real plan. don't just rush in and attack him

Flora, watching Tecna rush in and attack him: too late

Brandon's time with his boyfriend keeps getting interrupted by Sky bitching to Riven about Avalon, he's almost impressed with Sky's inability to read the room

Riven doesn't try to set Musa up with Jared bc she has a thing for Aisha, but does accidentally talk her up to Jared in a way that sounds like it and doesn't realize until Brandon tells him how Jared is likely gonna take it and Riven immediately starts sending Musa apology texts

Musa and Aisha get together and Riven spends an hour trying to figure out what the fuck Musa's texts mean

Riven is not pouting that his best friend's girlfriend dislikes his boyfriend, he is not bothered by that at all, he is a bastion of composure (it makes him just a little sad)

Brandon watching the mess that is Sky trying to introduce Bloom to his parents and Erendor and Samara intentionally letting Diaspro stay kidnapped to make Sky save her: I am so never even breathing a word about my boyfriend in this palace

Riven getting two texts at 3am. One from Musa with a selfie of her beaten up with the caption "kicked Stormy's ass let's go!!!" And one from Flora asking Riven if Brandon ever mentioned his time being held hostage. He wakes up so fucking fast

Riven cheering for Brandon and his fire stick dance, like that's my boyfriend everyone clap or die

Brandon in the back after his part in the talent show getting a bunch of videos of Musa and Stella singing: <3

Brandon when the texts suddenly stop: ???? Everything good?

Riven: sorry, Stormy's gone now

Brandon: ?????Stormy??????

Riven: *sends another video of Musa, now singing in her magic form*

Brandon watching Riven forcefully stop himself from being insane and competitive with Sky to board next to Brandon. It only lasts like a few minutes

They all go camping!!! Fun times in the wilderness and by that I mean Sky is physically sitting in-between them because they won't stop flirting and it's getting on his nerves, they are banned from sharing a tent. Riven isn't super huge on pda but Brandon is. I would say everyone is sick of them but Stella and Bloom haven't stopped making out since they got here so

Listen Riven literally specializes in wilderness survival, it's literally his consecration. Watching his boyfriend get excited about plants with Flora is CUTE and Brandon will not apologize for kissing his boyfriend when he's cute

Riven gets really cagey about running off and Musa is like "what's wrong?" And he lashes out :(, Brandon and her have a little chat about him and then Riven comes back like "THE TRIX ARE HERE EVERYONE PANIC!!!"

Their conversation is different bc they've almost swapped roles but I think Musa and Brandon making eye contact whenever Riven does something™ is really funny and good

When Helia shows up in the ship he and Brandon look at each other and Brandon just knows Helia is trying to figure out what is the funniest joke to make about the situation, and then the "me too!" Thing happens and Brandon will NEVER let him live it down

Riven sacrificing himself for Musa still happens, they are besties, and Brandon literally can't move during this so that's fun for him (it's literally only his training that keeps him from panicking out his fucking mind)

Musa, Brandon, Flora, and Helia all in a cuddle pile in a hospital room watching Riven's heart monitor

Of course there's a cute reunion and kiss when Riven wakes up and also "never do that dumb shit again, your not allowed to get hurt next year I need a break from being worried if your going to make it or not" and Riven is like (⁠@⁠_⁠@⁠)

Brandon is dragged back to Eraklyon and he's even more mad about it this time

Riven texts more often bc he misses Brandon so much, and Brandon sends gifts IF YOU EVEN CARE

That's my thoughts on s2 Briven, tune in next time for s3 Briven where I try not to get distracted by Stella instead of Musa and Flora like this time XD

[disneysnowprincess]

I ADORE The Black Cauldron, and I also like The Chronicles Of Prydain. However, I do have a few issues with the Prydain books, including how most of the Prydain fandom constantly bashes on The Black Cauldron movie [thank you for appreciating the movie alongside the books!], Eilonwy's questionable treatment in the books [I know it was in the 60s, but I was frustrated seeing Eilonwy having to wash dishes and have to give up her magic], the books get mean-spirited towards Taran at times, Elidyr's arc [I don't think it was handled well, Elidyr was a egotistic jerk who got Taran in trouble numerous times and his redemption came too late IMO. Gurgi's arc in the movie is much better.], book!Dallben in general [carelessly leaving The Book Of Three where Taran would get his hands on it and get burned then acting surprised when it happened, neither him or Coll went to look for Taran during the events of Book Of Three, the fact he straight out said he had doubts about Taran becoming the High King in the final book, and choosing to leave when Taran doesn't even know HOW to be a king yet], and the ending of the High King [I'm not opposed to a bittersweet ending, but magic leaving Prydain feels like a cynical attempt to deconstruct fantasy stories, and Eilonwy being forced to give up her magic leaves a sour taste in my mouth]. I still love the Prydain books [though I prefer the movie], in spite of my issues with them.

Hi Friend!

First of all: wow, a message on my tumblr in 2024?! What is this??? I honestly don't expect anyone to see my ramblings anymore, but I really appreciate that you took the time to send this message!

In response to your question, I completely understand. I know that I am in a Facebook group for the book and I am basically the person that gives all the updates on anything film related to the page (although I'm sure a few people find it a bit annoying lol). I do so because even though it's not related to the books directly, it is still Prydain related. Honestly, any promo for those books and Lloyd's work at this point is good promo, even if he wasn't a huge fan of the film, because it keeps his work in people's mind's and might even encourage people to read the books! When I was in high school my account dedicated to Princess Eilonwy got so many people to read the books, so I don't think mixing the two together is bad.

I think your issues with the books are COMPLETELY VALID. I will admit, I haven't read the books in a GOOD few years, so small details and plots are a bit muddy for me because I do focus so much more on the film itself and other interests. I think personally when reading books I try to objectively look at them with the view that flaws in characters and plots are meant to be there because they were put in by the author for whatever reason. While they might not be our favourite pathway that could've happened, Lloyd wanted to tell his story in a particular way. I do agree, magic leaving Prydain at the end was unfortunate, but I interpret it as a way for Lloyd to connect that world to our own. Prydain is an old world for the land that is now the UK, and the series is built on old welsh mythology, so maybe that was just a way for him to in the end be like "this is also part of our history, and why we don't have magic anymore." Who knows, that was just something that popped into my head while responding to your message.

If you ever do want to chat more, please feel free to DM me on Instagram (Eillyboo)

I've been seriously considering starting a Black Cauldron Film page on facebook. There is already one for the film but it's run by one person and not really a community board as he's the only one able to post. I see so much buzz about the film lately especially with the Villains land coming so I would love to connect with more people about it!

Have a great day!

[mvthr]

PSA (kinda?)

It is with great misfortune that I have to write this up today, but I feel like if I don’t do this now I will chicken out (lol). Thanks so much to all of the people who responded to my poll and have shown me so much love and support thus far. It’s thanks to you that I’ve been brave enough to post this. 💜

I’ve never had to do anything like this before so I apologize ahead of time if it’s a mess (and for typos lol). Moreover, part of me knows that I will upset a few people with this rant, but I don’t have much to lose at this point seeing as my character as a person is already being threatened. Mind you I was never going to name drop but seeing as the people in question are expecting some sort of war now I’m not sure what else to do. I think the only adult way to go about any sort of issue is to talk it out, but seeing as I wasn’t given much of an opportunity for that by the people in question I’m going to resort to this to detail my experience. 

I am going to both type out the discord ims I have as backing evidence and link screenshots for further context. 

Long story short, I’ve felt personally victimized by a discord mun/admin who currently goes by the alias of Beanie. Their bestie and fellow admin, who currently goes by the alias of Al, is unfortunately partly to blame for being willfully blind to her actions and thus encouraging them. In their eyes, I’m being petty for “an admin not wanting to write with me” but in reality I’m finally trying to voice my concerns and point out ongoing actions that straight up aren’t okay. It’s just a shame that I couldn’t properly do so directly now that I finally mustered up the courage. 

There is a lot to tell with regards to this story but I’m going to focus on the most recent event as to not rant on and on or bore anyone. Basically I was ostracized and somewhat gaslit by Beanie while in the discord rp Unyhq, which was founded by Al. It all started Friday night when I realized that I couldn’t react to any of her posts. I refreshed discord several times and even switched devices thinking it was an app error. I had no issues with anyone else’s so I started to get a bad feeling about things. Mind you, I admittedly didn’t have the best rp experience with either muns prior (they also voiced being blacklisted and having psa’s out about them in a prior group I was in with them which I am mentally slapping myself for overlooking) and felt a bit intimidated by Beanie more often than not. It was my mistake to take this laying down in the past and perhaps not being as direct as I should’ve been with those particular admins. That part I take full accountability for, as I should’ve focused less on wanting to please everyone and faced the inevitable confrontation. Nonetheless, I figured the unique plot and low key vibe could be worth giving everyone another shot. (Second chances are big thing for me.) 

To continue, I messaged another member of the group and asked them to try and react and saw they had no issues with it. After that, and a short chat, it was easy to deduce that I had been soft blocked. This came as a surprise to me seeing as I had seemingly ended on neutral terms with Beanie and had a brief convo with her months prior where she assured there was no bad blood (also featured in the screenshots). I tried to message Beanie personally about the situation and see why she would block me out of the blue but clearly couldn’t since she...well...had me blocked. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into whatever was happening so I optimistically started a plotting thread for us in the group server thinking that perhaps it was an accident. That’s when I received a message from Al hours later stating that Beanie did have me blocked and leading to the following back and forth: 

AL: “hi b, just shooting you a little dm letting you know that beanie does in fact have you blocked and is not comfortable with interacting with you one on one. i’m not privy to all the details and while i like writing with both of you and want both of you in the server, im not going to force anyone to interact with someone they’re not fully comfortable with. to ensure that everything remains comfortable, im going to be deleting your message to her in the plotting channel. hope you understand”

ME: “hi there! I’m not sure why i was blocked when i never did anything to her?? i would appreciate it if she maybe just let me know what happened in private instead of this but idk?? it makes me feel really anxious that an admin won’t even give me the time of day without reason

When she unfriended me i asked if everything was okay and she said yes (which i can share if necessary) so for her to block me out of the blue afterwards makes me feel really bad

to be honest we never really interacted much so idk what reason there would be to just shut me out without explanation 😭

like i would never want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything like that but i do feel like i deserve an explanation rather than just being ostracized seeing as it’s a group?? but yeah idk I’m just feeling really sad and anxious now”

AL: “i understand and i'm sorry that it's making you anxious. beanie is most likely asleep right now but i will talk to her when i wake up and see if she'd be willing to have a conversation with you and talk it out.

just straight up from my point of view though, and i don't mean to say this to point fingers and accuse anyone but just to help make sense of it all, the way that you and [redacted] reacted in the society about rune and cade having a baby was uncomfortable and straight up felt passive aggressive at points ?? and you guys left right after that and not long after rpsense was sent an ask about us <https://rpsense.tumblr.com/post/713226551533223936/how-about-that-connecticut-mystery-discord-rpg> particularly singling out rucade which is :/

i want to stress that i'm not pointing fingers and i hold no ill will towards either you or [redacted], but i hope that helps you understand why beanie's a little bit apprehensive about it all. still, i will talk to her and see if she would be willing to talk.”

**Let’s pause for a second to point out how she says my reaction (which was nothing but surprise seeing as Beanie didn’t seem on board with pregnancy plots when myself and another mun planned to do it for our characters) was passive aggressive while also trying to implicate myself and another mun over a drama blog comment anonymously made about them? I’m sorry that was very much accusatory and uncalled for. If I really had it out for them like they want to believe I would’ve just made a post on my main blog from the get go, and that’s something anyone who truly knows me can back up. But I guess it’s just easier to paint me as a villain than maybe admit they too are flawed. Anywho let’s continue:**

ME: “I understand where you guys are coming from but prior to the rp i didn’t even know what rpsense was and stated so (i don’t think i ever got clarification which is why i assumed it had something to do with jcink or Twitter rp) thus for there to even be an assumption it was me or even pointed in my direction is wild to me lmao. like at 25 years old i can assure you that i have better things to do than to send random messages on anon to a blog i didn’t even know existed until then

there were def some things that made me (and from what others voiced to be) uncomfortable with the big focus on that ship but seeing as you guys were admins i kinda felt it was inevitable. it did for a hot minute feel like idk thunder stealing but overall i left due the issues i had muse wise with benji after the death thing

i just really struggled to recover from that due to having dealt with something similar irl at around the same time. It became so triggering to the point i decided to leave for my own mental health. with regards to [redacted], i messaged her prior to leaving and from my understanding she left due to feeling overworked [redacted]

but yeah i kinda wish beanie would’ve just come to me about it instead of blocking me. like i would’ve (and still am) happy to discuss whatever assumptions or apprehensions she’s had in place of a situation like this. i mean i don’t see why someone who supposed talked shit about y’all, would wanna stay in a group with you guys and try so hard to be peaceful instead of just blocking and moving on but that is just my two sense on the topic.

i don’t think we were the only ones who eventually left nor were taken aback by some of those things you mentioned but yeah all i can say that it wasn’t me and i don’t think [redacted] would waste her time with that either. i swear that’s not me shading others but yeah it’s just still a shock to me that assumption was made?? but i guess i could see why from her POV it would be easier to push the blame on me timing wise lmao”

ME (after several hours of no reply despite activity in the group server): “hi there!! sorry to spam but i wanted to know if there was still gonna be a follow up on this?? i would ask Beanie myself but still have not way to contact her and don’t wanna bring someone else into the mix. I just feel really sad because i fee l like I’ve been incriminatd over something that has nothing to do with me. like i apologize if i ever gave anyone any reason to dislike me but it kinda feel like anger towards some random person or comment is being projected onto me without any validity? or than maybe there is just a reach to make me feel excluded?? idk I’ve just being feeling really uncomfortable and semi attacked since yesterday when all i wanted was to get along with everyone in a rp i was excited about.”

AL:“hi b, i'm still having a conversation with beanie about it (i just woke up like an hour ago 😭 ) and i'll update you asap!!”

ME: “no worries!! thanks for the update. i just hate the situation overall and let my anxiety get me. thus i forgot about timezones 😭”

AL: “hi b, beanie has communicated w me that she is not comfortable unblocking you or talking to you and i'm not going to make her do so. those are her boundaries and i respect them. she has also said that the anon didn't really influence her decision -- the main thing beanie is uncomfortable with is when you two were threading with benji and rune and benji implied that rune trying going to take advantage of him. while i understand this was most likely an in-character choice and an exploration of grief, from my understanding it was not discussed beforehand and made beanie uncomfortable. 

while it would be ideal for her to approach you herself and have a one on one conversation and clear things up, it is something she isn't currently comfortable with and i'm not particularly comfortable enforcing. i would love for everyone in a group to get along and write with each other, but realistically it's just not possible and i don't expect it to be.  beanie is one member out of many.”

**Let’s do another pause here. For reference Rune was Beanie’s muse and Benji was mine. While in societyfm I was blindsided by the ic death of a character related to Benji. During that time, I was grieving a similar situation and was very much triggered. However, seeing as the ball was already rolling and everyone ate up the plot I felt obligated to play along or otherwise be painted as a party pooper. While I was perhaps not as direct about my discomfort as I should’ve been (I was grieving and kinda expected a similar situation to this occurring if I confronted the main mun about it let alone Beanie), I did however mention/demonstrate being uncomfortable with the overall topic and its impact on my muse (even reaching out to the other admins/members at the time) but that’s a story for another day. Back to the thread she mentioned, we plotted (vaguely) to have Rune stumble upon a heavily inebriated and grieving Benji to somehow have them make amends. From my memory, Rune pulls him up and close to her from the ground and mentions taking him home to her residence instead of his own, to which he replied “are you trying to take advantage of me?” Let’s keep in mind this was a joke and the thread was left without response from there. I also interacted with Beanie ooc multiple times to not a single complaint about this or anything in my field. Now I definitely see how that could be taken out of context and perhaps was distasteful on my part and apologize for it. However the fact that it only became an issue all these months later is what seemed odd.**

ME: “yeah that’s a random thing to me because it was never brought up at all until now and idk timing wise it feels a little sus?? at this rate it really looks like she’s just looking for any reason to not have to talk to me and it’s very disheartening coming from an admin. if we are being real there a few things she had done as well that rubbed me the wrong way a bit but i didn’t take it as far as blocking her after making amends or trying to make me look bad by associating me with some random blog i have nothing to do with. but yeah if you don’t want to mediate this and she’s not willing to communicate in and adult manner then idk what else to do lmao. like I’m being punished for something petty and not even being given a chance to defend myself or improve which is incredibly messed up. I mean i legit had and irl traumatic trigger turned into the main plot of the last group but I’m not going as far as this 😭

it honestly wouldn’t have bothered me as much if she was just any other member but this kind of thing coming from an admin is extremely disheartening. especially when it’s a public group?? like what’s the point of even being in a group with me if she’s just going to act like i don’t exist over things that are beyond my knowledge?? idk i am just getting a weird vibe that i don’t think is fair to me or my actions. so yeah idk what to do at this point since she’s clearly made up her mind about excluding me and finding *reasons* to do so

refusing to coexist with someone and going out of your way to do so as an admin in a public group is just really saddening. despite it all i would’ve never done something like that to her and just want her to know that. but yeah at this rate it feels like my experience in a group is being tarnished by things that are beyond me and it’s very unfortunate. at this rate i can just leave because it’s not worth the stress and i am not going to stick around where someone claims i make them uncomfortable. 🙃

okay this is the last message i promise lol. but i already left the server so you guys can have peace of mind. that’s not to say I think any of this is fair in any way shape or form as adults, but i don’t think it’s worth the stress and i won’t stick around when someone clearly doesn’t want me around. however i will say that i don't understand how beanie or anyone is feeling uncomfortable with something being *said* about or to her character without prior discussion when benji had a whole sibling killed off, in part to her insistence, and no one gave me a heads up lol. in fact, everyone at it up at my expense and yet she can get away with acting this way to me?? that’s not right al. the policing of my reactions about how they were being treated because i didn't treat her muse *the right way* is **not** okay. but yeah i digress. nevertheless, best of luck to y’all. it’s a shame i couldn’t be a part of it again but maybe that’s for the best 🤷🏽‍♀️”

AL: “frankly, b, i was going to leave this message unanswered because i feel as if though this conversation is just going around in circles. if she made you uncomfortable or rubbed you the wrong way, then you would be well within your rights to block her as well. i would not have forced you to interact with her if you had done so. if you had come to me with your issues privately, i would've been happy to step in and help resolve them. 

your messages are needlessly aggressive towards beanie in this situation. people are allowed not to like you or interact with you -- even if said person is an admin. she has not, from my pov, refused to coexist with you: she has merely refused to interact with you one on one or plot with you. her reasons for being uncomfortable with you have been kept private and only shared with me because i asked. she has not purposefully gone out of her way to be rude or hostile to you either ic or ooc: she simply does not wish to interact with you, so she has blocked you. if you had stayed in the rp, both me and lucky would be available to you in an admin capacity and you would have a plethora of other members willing to interact with you.

as for your point about the society: i am truly sorry that happened and it is a failing of mine as an admin. i had (wrongly) assumed that m would have communicated her plans with you, as that is something that is expected of grown writers in a closed group settings. in hindsight, i should have checked in with you and i am sorry that i didn't. you did not vocalise your discomfort at the start of the plotdrop, and when you did i went the extra mile to incorporate a time skip for your comfort. i also don't know why this is being brought up with regards to beanie? beanie was not an admin at the time of the plotdrop (so she had no input in it) nor was she the only one excited for it.”

***End***

That’s where it all wraps up because just like Beanie, Al didn’t even give me a chance to speak up or say my peace before blocking me (let’s note that i had already left the group by then and said my goodbyes/explained why I was leaving to members i had either active plots or threads with. the narrative they are spinning that it was at random or to get a reaction out of new members is frankly untrue.) I get that I could’ve maybe been a bit more passive towards the end but I do think it’s valid seeing as my feelings and the moral of my message was never validated. Al was quick to defend Beanie and let her say, do, or believe anything she wanted with regards to me but when I said my side and tried to defend myself I was “needlessly aggressive” towards a toxic individual that should’ve been held accountable for their actions and set a better example as an admin. I hate to break it, but refusing to communicate with someone IS refusing to coexist with them and I will not be convinced of otherwise, nor will I allow myself to be stomped over and gaslit for defending myself/calling out inappropriate actions. 

That’s all I’m going to say about this for now as it’s really just to get my side known instead of what’s being inferred without context or my explanation. I don’t expect a fair fight in this nor am I trying to cancel anyone. All I wish is for those involved to be held accountable for their own wrongdoings as I am holding myself accountable for my own. We’re all human and in the year 2023 we should be doing our best to grow and become better people. I’m going to take this as a learning experience and hope everyone else does too. 💜

>p.s. I have been made aware of the discrepancies and pointed accusations in Al’s response and I am not going to entertain it. They are welcome to come to their own defense however they wish and I cannot/will not deny them of that. However, I will say that the additional pieces of *evidence* they have brought forwards are very much out of context. The fact they never posted the full extent of those messages, omitted their past with similar psa’s/callouts/situations, didn’t mention how seemingly intimidating said admin was/is, how they encouraged bubble rping, insist they did me a favor by blindly throwing me into an uncomfortable situation, lied about how I went about saying my goodbyes after leaving the group and why, had their friends send me hate BEFORE I made anything public, continue to bash me in their defense despite asking me to leave the topic and them alone publicly, etc, is very telling. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[feeshies]

i hesitated to make this post bc it's a vague frustration instead of calling people out directly, but it's been bubbling up inside of me for a while and no single person was the catalyst. also it's my blog. i get to vent.

i get annoyed when some people in trans spaces (including transfemme spaces, even though i can't speak to that directly) claim that (east) asians have an "easier" time being trans because our "natural androgynous" appearances make it easier to "pass"

i added "east", but you know these people don't lol. they just say "asians" as if south asians, southeast asians, west asians, and central asians all look like k-pop idols.

even most east asians don't look like k-pop idols??? the korean men in my family have broad shoulders and square jaws. the koreans i know show way more variety than you could get from a white person's gender envy pinterest board.

this sentiment only holds an ounce of water if you believe that the trans struggle begins and ends at "passing". why don't you talk to trans poc instead of reducing them to an aesthetic.

not everyone wants to be androgynous??? i certainly agonized over my inability to grow decent facial hair.

so much of (east) asian existence in trans spaces is boiled down to aesthetics. it's anime, k-pop, advertisements, our skin, our features, our bodies. it's like people are window-shopping for our culture without bothering to come inside and chat with the owners.

don't get me wrong, i've definitely used my heritage to my advantage. one time someone tried to justify getting my gender wrong because i'm "small with effeminate features", and i played dumb and responded with "well...my family is korean, is that what you're talking about?" and they got so uncomfortable and it was amazing. i dominated that interaction and i don't feel sorry.

but it's a shitty and alienating feeling. and this is coming from someone who isn't always immediately identifiable as east asian. i can easily pass as other groups or just "spicy white" if i need to, but it's a different story when i see how some white people in trans spaces talk about my heritage.

(also i'm obviously not going to go there, but i've seen some black transmascs talk about not being able to ask for advice regarding looking more masculine, because white people will tell them that they already look masculine. again, not my place to speak, but i feel like it's at least related to the same problem and how race is tied to gender in white-centric spaces).