#i already knew this independently i just don't feel like doing more research for a tumblr post

[talysalankil]

@aflyinghamster That's actually a common myth in French-speaking spheres! The verre/vair debate only dates from the 19th century, but Perrault writes verre, and other older sources (especially those from other languages) don't have the homophony to rely on and it's unambiguously glass (or gold, or the material isn't mentioned at all. point is, it's not something shoes are usually made of)

It seems that Balzac, that motherfucker, invented the verre/vair explanation. Basically went "glass slippers don't make sense! cinemasins ding" and decided it must be vair even though he had exactly zero sources supporting his claim.

The wikipedia fr article on it has most of the relevant info

But if you can't read French, don't worry, English Wikipedia mentions it too:

Some interpreters, perhaps troubled by sartorial impracticalities, have suggested that Perrault's "glass slipper" (pantoufle de verre) had been a "squirrel fur slipper" (pantoufle de vair) in some unidentified earlier version of the tale, and that Perrault or one of his sources confused the words.[57] However, most scholars believe the glass slipper was a deliberate piece of poetic invention on Perrault's part.

After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:

Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.

Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.

Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.

Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.

If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.

Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.

Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.

Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.

Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.

Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:

Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.

Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)

Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.

How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.

[lovesuhng]

Wines and confessions - Johnny Suh

couple: johnny x fem!reader genre: fluff; a little bit sugestive; friends to lovers sinopse: in the middle of a drinking some wine, your friend makes it very clear why none of his dates work out

Johnny was at home, after a long day at the photography studio where he worked. It was Friday, he was ready to rest after taking a long shower, until he received a message from his best friend.

“You must be very tired, but I got some wine from the parents of one of my students. Do you know how rare it is for me to receive gifts at work? I’ll be at your apartment in 40 minutes.”

Johnny laughed at your message. No matter how tired he was, he always had time for you. You were a teacher at a private school, you taught some classes in elementary and high school. If Johnny's routine was tiring, your routine was even crazier. The two had been friends since they were teenagers, which didn't stop Johnny from feeling something more.

A short time later, they were lying on the couch in the man's apartment. Johnny was on his first glass, he liked to taste the wine, drinking it little by little, as well as researching more about it. You, on the other hand, were on your second glass, didn't understand anything about wine and drank any alcoholic drink as if it were water. You talked about various things, you about your students, Johnny about the various editorials he had to do this week.

“And how was your meeting with that model you photographed last month?” You said taking a sip of your wine. Johnny always went on these dates to try to forget the feelings he had for his friend, but he always found himself comparing his date with you and couldn't move on to anything beyond a simple dinner. On the one hand, he felt uncomfortable when you asked about it, but on the other hand he knew that you weren't to blame for anything, because he didn't have the courage to talk about his feelings.

“Same old thing. It was just dinner. I’m not in the mood to date right now.” Unless it's with you, that's what he wanted to say.

“It's not because I'm your friend, but you're one of the hottest guys I know, independent, polite, funny. Why are you still alone? I already know! There must be someone in that little heart and you don't want to tell me who it is. Wants to know? I'm going to introduce you to a friend of mine who is a teacher. She’s beautiful and you two would look great together!” You saw your friend roll his eyes. “Don’t even make that face! In addition to being beautiful, she loves photography. Hey!"

“I think you’ve had drink too much.” Johnny took the glass from your hands, making you stop blabbering about his love life. The man took advantage of his height, lifted the cup and laughed at his frustrated attempts to get the cup back.

“Give it back Johnny! I didn’t even get halfway through the bottle.”

“And you’re already talking nonsense, imagine if you put an end to it.”

With the jump you made to retrieve your precious wine, you ended up losing your balance and were about to fall, if it weren't for Johnny's big hands, which stopped your fall and made your bodies very close and your faces inches away from distance.

The exchange of glances was intense.

You had already become so close to your friend, but you didn't know if it was because you had been drinking, you had a huge desire to kiss him. You looked at his lips and found them very kissable, his honey eyes exuded love and desire.

It was the wine's fault.

The heart beating faster had to be the wine's fault.

You internally asked him to break his gaze, but he couldn't do it. In fact, any opportunity he had to be close to you was taken advantage of by the man.

“Do you want to know why I can’t date other people?” Johnny asked. The man's deep voice was leaving you stunned. You just nodded.

Johnny knew he was going to take an important step and that perhaps he could change the course of the friendship you had, but he knew that he had to do that at that moment. Then, he ended the minimum distance he had between you, bringing his lips to yours. Despite being a little confused, you surrendered to your best friend's kiss. It was all so new for both of them, but at the same time so right.

“I'm glad you didn't push me or hit me.”Johnny said with a smile on his face as soon as he stopped kissing you. “And don’t blame it on the wine because I know more than anyone that you need a lot more than that to get drunk.” He continued when he realized you were about to say something and ended up taking the words out of your mouth.

"Wow. It’s scary how you know me so well” You responded by patting your friend’s shoulder and realized you were still in his arms. “Since you can’t let go of me, could you at least tell me when you started liking me?”

Johnny was embarrassed, which was rare to happen, but he let go of him and placed the glass of wine that was still in his hand on the kitchen table. “I don’t know, I think I’ve always been in love with you, it just took me a while to understand that.”

"Can I confess something?" Johnny just nodded. “I loved knowing that your dates didn’t work out.”

"Oh really?" Johnny once again approached you and placed his hands on your waist. “So why did you always throw me at your friends?”

“I don't know, maybe seeing you with other people would take that feeling away from me." You said, placing your hands on Johnny's shoulders again.

“And what is this feeling?”

“That I’m in love with you.” It was time for you to kiss your best friend. If the first kiss was sweet, this one was much more urgent and hot. Johnny led you to the couch, bringing you with him as he sat down. Your nails lightly scratched the man's muscular arms.

Johnny's big hands, which had previously stopped you from falling to the floor, now fervently smoothed your thighs, which had been exposed because your dress had ridden up as soon as you positioned yourself on Johnny's lap. When the man's warm lips touched your neck, leaving a few kisses there, a signal alerted you and you quickly moved away from the man, leaving him confused, sitting on the couch completely out of breath. 

“I better go, before something happens in this apartment” You said, collecting your belongings and heading to the door of Johnny’s apartment. “Oh, you better cancel your plans tomorrow night if you have any.”

"Why?" Johnny asked confused.

“Because we have a date. Be ready at 8pm.”

“Shouldn’t I invite you?” Johnny approached you once again, who was already outside his apartment holding the door.

“What year are you, John?” Johnny smiled and pulled you in for another kiss, but you surprised him by placing your hand on his lips. "No! Kiss now only after the date. See you tomorrow." You pushed Johnny into the apartment and closed the door. The man didn't understand what was happening, he just laughed at your behavior, because it didn't even seem like 5 minutes ago you were making out like crazy on the living room couch. It didn't take long for the doorbell to ring again. Johnny opened it without checking who it was, but was surprised when you threw yourself into his arms.

“Okay, I won’t be able to wait until tomorrow. I want one more kiss.” Johnny let out a hearty laugh, the kind where he threw his head back and left you completely in love.

More wines and confessions

[archiveikemen]

"Mobius Chord" Main Story Prologue: Chapter 8

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belong to +ONE by Ikemen Series and KansaiTV. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games.

Read this before interacting

Shina: We got exposed… I see. So it’s our physiques that gave us out… 

Shina: We should be a little more careful about how we show our silhouettes next time. 

Koto: I met you by coincidence last week… I had a sense of déjà vu when watching videos, so I did a little bit of research. 

Koto: Had I not run into those two today, I probably wouldn't have been so certain. 

… That’s right. Shina-san, Kakihara-san, Kuga-san, and Sui-kun are the four members of the “mysterious streaming band” Sublime. 

I heard Shina-san mention Sui-kun’s name last week, and hearing Sui-kun’s voice again kept lingering on my mind. 

So I went to look through old videos and finally realised what exactly felt off. 

Koto: Of course, you don't need to worry because I have no intention of making this known to the public. 

Shina: But… why? This is a once in a lifetime exclusive scoop, Koto-chan. 

Shina: It could be your one chance to secure a permanent column in fortessimo, you know? 

Koto: Hmm. But I don’t think that clawing my way up through underhanded means can produce quality work. 

Koto: Besides, any fan who knew Sui-kun from his Lit days would realise it's him anyway. 

Shina: … Well. Actually, we do also have fans who realised it but chose to pretend they didn't. 

Shina: We… especially Sui, he seems to want to avoid showing his face. 

Sui: … But it’s not that I hate my face or anything. 

Koto: Sui-kun!

Sui: Minato, keep a close eye on Kakihara and Kuga. I don’t want them drawing too much attention. 

Shina: Okay. … Sorry, Koto-chan. Those guys are just so excited to listen to Sui’s speech. 

Koto: Usually, only alumni are allowed in… but some family members are here too, so I think they’ll overlook it. 

Shina: Thanks! I’ve already found them a safe spot. We’ll head over now. 

I watched Shina-san walk off with his usual long strides, and turned to bow my head at Sui-kun.

Koto: Sorry, Sui-kun. I didn’t mean to be distrustful. 

Sui: It's fine. Besides, I already figured that you’d find out eventually while broadening your knowledge as a writer. 

Sui: … All I want is to sing… and pursue music. 

Sui: I left Lit because it made me feel almost as if my looks were all that mattered. 

His straightforward reasoning was very in-character of him. 

Sui: … I passed by Miyamoto-san backstage earlier on. 

Sui: I thought he’d have forgotten about me by now… but he found out about me being a part of Sublime. 

Koto: What?

Sui: In that case, I’ll rise to the top with Sublime’s sound  alone, no matter what it takes. 

Sui: Today, I had you and Miyamoto-san figuring it out… as expected, I shouldn't show my face in public.

With that, Sui-kun, who was more talkative than usual, swiftly turned on his heel and headed towards the venue. 

Koto: Miyamoto-san… 

Even with countless aspiring artists knocking on his agency’s door, along with industry insiders, he still remembers Sui-kun… 

(Sublime is trending on social media, but it's impressive how he could identify him like that.) 

Miyamoto-san had an overwhelmingly strong aura and a regal presence that was almost intimidating. Despite that, he was a proudly independent person who was difficult to dislike. 

At around the time I distanced myself from band activities due to health issues, a video on social media became a hot topic and Lit grew popular as a five-man group. 

Back then, it was Miyamoto-san who noticed Lit’s potential early on and nurtured them as artists. 

He specifically warned me not to join Lit. 

I think he was only looking out for me from the perspective of an older brother, especially since I had already secured a job then. 

(I’m sure he’ll also understand Sui-kun’s feelings about not wanting to be marketed for his good looks.) 

While my mind was occupied with that, 

Shina: Oh. Did I miss him…? Koto-chan, have you seen Sui?

Koto: Shina-san. He just headed towards the venue. 

Shina: Ugh. I have to run again. 

Apparently, Shina-san had been running all over the place looking for Sui-kun. After catching his breath… 

Shina: I’m really no match for you, Great Detective Koto-chan. I appreciate that you’re helping us keep this a secret. Thanks.

He suddenly placed a hand on my shoulder with a serious expression. 

[enchi-elm]

I've been writing some smut for two of my OCs in the Turn fanfic You've Caught Me Between Wind and Water, Lt. Jameson Mullcock and Lt. Frederico Ridgewell. It's going really well, so well in fact that I might end up submitting it to an erotica magazine in the future--which would prevent me from posting it on AO3.

To that end, to cover my own disappointment, here's some bits of lore for these two, gratis:

Background

Frederico

Full name is Frederico “Dico” Miguel Carvalho dos Reis Ridgewell

He is a Portuguese-American (mother is Portuguese) and stands in for the many Portuguese-American contributions to the Continental Army (go look up Pedro "Peter" Francisco)

Father split when Frederico was young, he grew up with his mother in New York in a Portuguese neighbourhood

Speaks fluent Portuguese

James

Jameson Mullcock is just Jameson Mullcock, but he goes by James

He is Irish-American and stands in for the many Irish-American contributions to the Continental Army (I explicitly wanted to include an Irish-American character because there were shitty stereotypes in the army against the Irish from other nationalities; like, we have primary sources for this)

James does not disclose he is half-Irish when he enlists and just lists his birthplace as Philadelphia

His mother is Abaigeal Noiréis (Abigail Norris), born in Galway, Ireland (thank you @mercurygray for naming her and helping me with her backstory!)

She is Catholic and married a Protestant British soldier she met during the occupation of Ireland, then followed him to England and then Pennsylvania and had to keep her faith secret

James is raised Protestant and only knows a little of the Catholic faith, which he keeps secret (because there was a considerable anti-Catholic sentiment in parts of the colonies)

Knows a little bit of Irish and wishes he knew more but doesn't think he'd be welcome (or feel comfortable) among the Irish soldiers and officers

Personality and looks

Frederico

olive skin, dark eyes, tousled dark hair

enough weight on him to look conspicuously healthy at Valley Forge in 1777

exactly as athletic as he looks but not quite as intelligent

drop dead gorgeous and doesn't care

cinnamon roll, too pure for this world, is the only one unaware that people believe this of him

a dark horse so dark you can't even see him coming

James

pale enough to look anemic, eyes and hair too light for people's comfort

tall, gangly; gaunt, even by Valley Forge standards

more athletic than he looks and more intelligent too

sarcastic slacker who's too smart to let people know how much more responsibility he's capable of taking on

has maybe two vices (tea and tobacco) that he'll hold onto, everything else he's already resigned himself to losing

would rather light his arm on fire than go after something he wants in a direct, open, and honest manner (and be Seen? Are you mad?)

Occupation

and the whole reason I put this post together, which is to remind future Apfel that they are 2nd LIEUTENANTS in LAMB'S CONTINENTAL ARTILLERY which was reorganized in 1777 from LAMB'S INDEPENDENT COMPANY NEW YORK ARTILLERY which drew from artillery companies in NEW YORK, CONNECTICUT AND PENNSYLVANIA. OKAY??

AND ARTHUR GARRICK IS A 1ST LIEUTENANT AND CAPTAIN ARMISTEAD FOLK IS THEIR CAPTAIN. AND PERKINS IS THEIR ENSIGN. IT'S ALL ONE GROUP. REMEMBER THIS!

CALEB WAS PART OF THIS GROUP. THEY WERE ALSO IN PEEKSKILL AND AT THE WHITEMARSH ENCAMPMENT.

YOU ALREADY WROTE LAMB INTO THE STORY IN CHAPTER 8.

YOU ALREADY FIGURED THIS OUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO RESEARCH IT AGAIN.

...

@georgios-kyriacos, I believe you expressed interest in these two :)

[archivedsizhui]

[continued]

He knew that learning to adapt was key here while many had lost their creature comforts it was staggering to see--well--the dead simply rise up and come after them. It had been a hard lesson to learn and a lesson others would have to learn as well, all it took was one infected person to get free and bite someone and you had the same thing all over again--just elsewhere. Sizhui thought if they felt they were safe they were fools. No where was safe--but it could be made so. They would rebuild here. Sizhui had already begun in their apartment home.

Sizhui had admittedly lost far less--his father's were not here. His father's lived abroad traveling often and it was how the boy had learned to be so independent. Of course there was also the fact that SIzhui had been brilliant and at his youthful age was pretty much a doctor. He had intended to settle here for a time and if Cheong-San desired to travel after high school to attend a collage--Sizhui had been fully willing to pay for him to go anywhere he wanted to learn what he wanted. As he told Mr and Mrs. Lee he would take care of their son. He didn't want anything in return, it wasn't a loan it was making the world a better place.

The fear and panic had been a real thing--people had no idea what was going on you saw the worst and the best of people in this time. He managed to keep his small survivor group together. Given Sizhui could and would kick out anyone who proved to be problematic. He took no crap from anyone because he was running himself ragged for these people to have what they needed. It would not always be like this though things would settle there was already a teacher tending to the children's education, they had internet and electricity. Sizhui was also in the processes of getting sun panels put up to added more energy to their home. There was rooftops for hanging clothes, they had rain water that was boiled before being used, and things were looking up.

He had Cheong-San which was the most important thing out of all of this. Nothing would matter without him. Sizhui had come here to make a difference to add a youthful doctor to the hospital someone better able to speak to the youth. He had instead wound up a leader. Sizhui had been mad that Cheong-San had been bitten--he had been livid. He had also treated the wound though it was healing on its own. He had done so much research into the hombie's where he could. Sizhui had even found a way to dampen some of the instinct for them. He would not be afraid of Cheong-San he would not allow the fact that he had changed stand in the way of the love he had for him. Was he dangerous--yes of course it was a new change. Did that mean that Sizhui would turn him away, put distance from him --no. They had adopted a daughter, and they shared a home. Sizhui would live up to his promise to the Lee's he would take care of their son and love him as he deserved to be loved. Feelings did not change just because a body did.

Speaking of which--he had lost track of Cheong-San while he was working on the sun panels on the roof and he did a quick scan of the area. He wasn't thrilled with where he found his boyfriend. He looked like he was about to attempt a standing jump towards another roof top, and Sizhui did not need to speak and startle him instead he reach out and caught the other by the back of the hoodie he wore--Sizhui's hoodie really--but Cheong San stole them regularly.

"Mn." he said "I could read your body language--have you looked down." he inquired softly pointing over the side of the building with the hand not holding to the back of his collar. "If you fall from this height---" he left it unsaid. Their building had many floors and the fall was far. "I would like you to not be a splat on the ground." he said seriously. "We don't know all that hombies can do yet, and--" he how did he express this without sounding over protective, or domineering--"I want you to be here a long time, for me, for Chi."

@achromaticstars (Lee Cheong-San)

[ilhoonftw]

i detest that type of true crime content that treats all cases like it's office gossip. some creators i stopped watching outright said 'i make sure to make my narratiom resemble the way i would tell this story to my best friend'. the moment the podcaster or youtuber etc starts to have "inside jokes" made at expense of victims... that's just cruel. and sue me but imho it's fair to demonetize lazy true crime videos, do those people really want to make money off human suffering? and most of those creators are just hobbyists, they don't have much education on the subject so they are prone to spreading gross misinformation. how many of them actually study court documents or know legal terms, instead of just retelling often poorly researched newspaper articles. let alone dealt with their inner bootlicker. or they jumped into the field since it's easy money, copying what already popular creators do. another thing i RARELY see discussed - since those creators often lack the ~qualifications~, they also probably don't have a proper coping strategies that would help them recover their sanity after hours of (hopefully independent) research. like it takes a toll, just reading about some of this stuff. then again, a lot of those ~creators~ don't seem to give a shit about the victims so there's that. you would've thought they would knew better and avoided victim blaming but... and some podcasts that supposedly started out with good intentions with time evolved into violence p*rn... with questionable thumbnails and going into unnecessary detail regarding how someone died ... when they could spend that time paying respects to the life lost. another thing that bothers me that might be more of a language barrier thing, but calling a criminal case 'a story' is always kinda meh to me since to me that makes it sound less real. those were real breathing people with feelings and plans! like you!

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: discord messages by someone whose name has been censored, which say "I've done more research and seen many opinions, and so to sum up how I feel without going into detail about why (unless you want a bigger more in depth explanation), I've come to the conclusion that I agree, they should not be making more golems, and golems as a whole are, in fact, an issue.

On another note, I also saw stuff about the villagers, and that is something I'm already a bit more familiar with because I noticed it way quicker than the golem issue. villagers have a LOT of antisemitic caricatures and stereotypes tied to them.

Combine all of this with the fact that Notch is racist and antisemitic and..well, you get the picture.

Them adding more golems into the game is..well really disappointing to be honest

Actually I'm gonna put heavy quotes around "golems" because that's not even an accurate name for them, which inherently is one of the nuanced issues we got goin on here]

[So, I like to see both aspects of peoples' opinions to see if there's anything I'm missing or that could be of value to me.

first I went to check out any antisemitism discussions around minecraft, and found a lot of people talking about "oh, well, I haven't heard about this before. And also I haven't seen many Jews upset about this. Most Jews don't seem to have noticed it until now." And stuff like "well, oh, so you're saying all Jewish people are (insert stereotype here)?" And "oh, well, the villagers have churches so how could they be intended to be antisemitic caricatures?" Which all of these takes from the Opposite side's opinion lack nuance about this issue, and don't even bother to bring up why maybe these things are a problem.]

[Then I went and researched golems and what they really are. I knew already some aspect of them being tied to Judaism, but one thing I wasn't sure of was exactly how they were tied to Judaism. I may have been told in the past, but I do have very bad memory issues and wanted to clear that up.

So I read multiple sources, and a few Jewish Minecraft fans' summaries, and concluded that they were specifically made to protect us from antisemitism. They are a human-like figure to protect us from antisemitism. An ACTUAL golem in folklore is not capable of full independent thought- its actions run kind of like a computer- if given a command, it won't stop doing the command until it's given new input. They have a specific design, that can differ in looks, but usually remains consistent with a specific base.]

[For the creators of Minecraft to go and take the name golem and slap it onto something like the ""golems"" in minecraft, it's just blatantly incorrect and upsetting. Not only do they not look like actual golems, but golems also serve a specific purpose. That purpose being-protecting us from antisemitism. They just took that name and slapped it onto something that isn't what it actually should be. (Which, even if these were correct depictions? It's not their story to tell. It's not their place to even USE accurate golems in their game.)

Something I heard another jew say was that a great example of a character that functions and looks like an actual golem in modern media, without actually being named a golem, would be Baymax from big hero six! He's the perfect example of how they could function and could look IF the tale of a golem were to be adapted into something modern with a less jew-centered protection intention. And if you compare baymax to a golem in minecraft, they are nothing alike.]

[So not only did minecraft devs just take the name of something from our ancient folklore that SPECIFICALLY IS FOCUSED AROUND PROTECTING US FROM ANTISEMITISM, and not only do they not have the right to be trying to tell our stories in the first place, AND not only did minecraft originally have an antisemitic creator, but also- According to another Jewish minecraft fan at least (cuz I didn't know this), Golems are supposed to protect villagers. villagers are a known antisemitic caricature. so you got another layer here of antisemitism, considering golems IRL are supposed to protect JEWS from antisemitism.

They just took our shit and twisted it any way they wanted.

(If you want examples of how villagers are antisemitic caricatures, here you go: the villagers have big nose, they are obsessed with emeralds (aka sort of like money) and they are protected by golems, which is a jewish myth)]

[Some ways people have proposed this to be solved are these:

-give the golem a different fucking name. Like iron guardian, iron titan, etc.

-implement a different way to barter for things you need. Maybe make it so that they dont only want emeralds, and can in fact accept any other form of trade."]

[Anxious girl hours, presumably the OP's discord nickname, says "Shit, yeah! I was about to ask you how I can appropriately write villagers with out it being antisemetic! and also-- with golems-- would you prefer we call them a different name? if not mojang, the fandom in general"

The friend with the hidden name replies "Honestly, now that I'm more informed on this issue? Yeah. That would be good!

I kinda like the fact that you gave EVERY villager character- even in human form- big noses. Because your villagers all have individual ethnicities and cultures. So, in your personal minecraft worlds at least, it can be attributed to less of a Jewish stereotype, and more of a biological component to a fleshed out and developed race.

Also the fact that the characters of yours that ARE Jewish, are written with actual Jewish culture and traditions and background in mind".

/End of Discord messages]

[Text which says "A golem is a creature formed out of a lifeless substance such as dust or earth that is brought to life by ritual incantations and sequences of Hebrew letters. The golem, brought into being by a human creator, becomes a helper, a companion, or a rescuer of an imperiled Jewish community."]

[A stone statue of a Jewish Golem. It is facing the camera front on and has a stocky, humanoid figure which is made entirely of curves, no edges. It is holding a backwards L-shaped object with a dot on the right end in front of its chest. Its feet are large and round, and it has four fingers visible on each hand. There is a small circle carved in the middle of it's head, and has two upsidedown triangles underneath, which could be the eyes.]

Wait hold on, really that has been happening? Teach me please because I did not know much about that issue at all in the Mojang community

I will not be the one educating you as I am not Jewish and I don't want to speak for them. I do however have a jewish pal that gave me their side of the story, and some resources they wanted to show for those who want to be more educated <:)

Their explanation in short:

Their explanation in more detail:

Resources they wanted to site:

I have been working on different names for the 4 "Golems" with the help of my pal:

Iron & Snow: "Iron Guardian" and "Snow Guardian" ("Guardian" seeing as they're both defensive mobs-- and an added parallel to "the Warden".)

Tuff: "Tuff Statue" for the obvious.

The Copper: Still in progress but we have considered "Lightning guide" from his rod head.

I will not wait for Mojang to change their name. I am going to change them myself.

[whythewords]

Sure, You Can Love Me (But Can You Please Take Me Home?)

On and on we go through this messy, sometimes great, sometimes fucking exhausting life, right? Again, I don't know how to summarize the goings-on since the last post, I only know about a few landmarks of the last month and how they made me feel.

I went on that vacation to Nova Scotia....it was breathtaking. My pal Damion and his wife Katie put us up in their absolute unit of a home, it was gorgeous and new and in a quaint, sparsely populated area of the province. A dream. And he planned quite the itinerary for us. We did a night at a fancy, cottagey AirBNB right on the water. We went tidal bore rafting which I agreed to before knowing fully what it was, but look it up, it's wild. We did a winery/cidery tour. We bummed around Halifax, I bought a travel guitar, and we also hit the Halifax waterfront. I ate my fill of lobster and just great seafood in general. I finally got to meet his adorable two year old daughter and experienced the great pleasure of my heart melting each and every time she called me "uncle Joe."

The trip was everything. But it was also what it was supposed to be: a vacation. There was no networking and looking for jobs and opportunities while I was out there. There was none of the "research" I convinced myself I was gonna do. It was, more than anything, a chance to catch up with an old friend, which is exactly what it needed to be.

Over the course of that week and into the intervening weeks...I decided to do another dating app blitz and stunningly, it paid off. I have gotten more traction on these apps than I have ever gotten. I'm up to four different woman I'm talking to and I haven't met a single one of them yet but the conversations are seemingly staying afloat, and I may have a date this coming Saturday. All of this happened to fall on a month that's already wall-to-wall loaded with other plans and that's not necessarily a bad thing. It keeps me distracted, keeps me happy. Another open mic on Wednesday, my friend's hockey game on Thursday, a night at the drive-in on Friday.

And yesterday I was in Fort Erie, an old friend who lives in New Jersey now was out there visiting his parents, and they all used to live in our old neighbourhood in Mississauga. It was nice catching up, and I had forgotten how much his mom "gets it." Without having seen each other in several years, she knew inherently after a brief catch-up session exactly where I was at. The predicament with my folks and wanting to move out...and how that may be effected by where we all are in our lives. "I worry you may have been prematurely thrown into a caretaking scenario." She said that and it was as if she was staring into my soul. A wise oracle assessing my situation with a glance.

My mom had gotten a little sick while I was on my trip. She's much better now, thank goodness, but the whole "moving out East to find a new life" thing sort of flashed before my eyes. My dad is 80. My mom is not too far behind. Their health is okay but they're not without their issues. If I'm not taking them with me I gotta stay close, and that fucking stings. Not because I don't love and appreciate them and want what's best for them, but because it seems like I'm now at the point where it's been decided for me. I have no choice in the matter.

My brother is not up to the task of taking care of my folks if I go away, he can barely take care of himself. To draw at least some inspiration from Nova Scotia, Damion had brought his mom out east to live with him after his dad passed. She's got a walkout basement apartment while he, his wife and his daughter have free reign of the top two levels. Maybe that's solution for me too. Maybe this is just my lot in life now. We have to go in on something together. My dad floated the idea by me before and it's not a bad one really, but it feels in many ways like true independence is always going to elude me. And it's STILL really fucking expensive. Maybe part of me was influenced by the sudden influx of dating prospects that sticking around here wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Unfortunately that doesn't change its price, both emotionally and financially.

There's these two parts of myself that have constantly been at odds these last few weeks: the lonely and longing romantic, looking for love and companionship, and the low-key, introspective recluse, just waiting for the opportunity to seize his independence and finally have a place he can truly call his own. Those came together to form a song as part of my monthly songwriting challenge, late as always but one of my favourite things I've written maybe of the last two or three years. Must be because it's so painfully fucking true.

But writing it, and playing it, and singing it they all make it sting a little less. They calm me down and remind me that while this is a shitty hand I've been dealt, it is not an impossible task. I can and WILL figure this out eventually.

Fuck, thank goodness for music, huh?

Here's a very rough and scratchy demo of the song I mentioned, it inspired the title of this post:

[bohemiansolessentials]

Origins of BSE

I started Bohemian Sol Essentials, technically in 2020 and originally under a different name. The original name was Gy*$y Soul Essentials. I censor that first word because I have since been educated and learned that the word is very offensive to the Romani people and is considered slur. I was mortified that I had created my brand around that name. To me, that word meant free spirit, bright colors, traveling, mystical vibes not the negatives. That doesn't matter an ounce though what it means to me.

I may take it more to heart than someone else because I know first hand how it feels to have slur dropped casually around me and have people say "oh I don't mean it like that". It doesn't matter how YOU mean it, it means what the fuck it means. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You know? So I researched those adjectives I mentioned earlier and realized that what I actually mean is bohemian. I battle with depression and the sun is such a healing element for me so when I knew I was already updating my business name I thought I could do a play on word and incorporate the word Sol into it. Essentials will always stay because I am a die hard stan of pure therapeutic grade essential oils. They have saved my life again and again from sickness, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and spiritual attacks.

When I think of what the word Bohemian means to me is everything I was taught as a child to aspire to be; independent, free spirit, strong willed, self motivated, whimsical, mystical, one with the earth. When I hear the word sol I think of all things happy and bright which is something this world needs more if this day in age. Essentials because essential oils because they are so essential to health and well being and vitality. The earth provides it's creations (us) the medicine we need to survive (this is not a knock at western medicine, get your shots kids, lol). Other than that though for real, most modern date medicines are derived from natural elements. Like Valium...valerian root, opiates...milk of the poppy.

I've always wanted to help people as my life's work in one way or another. Nothing lights me up more than knowing someone else is better off because of something I showed them or introduced them to. That's not to say I'm out here trying to be someone's savior or anything of the sort, more like bridge or concierge to holistic well being. Myself and many loved ones have been burned too many times by being medically unique and feeling like something was wrong with us for not being an easy fix for doctors. Nine times out of ten I have found better solutions turning back to nature, turning back to Creator, if you will. I fully intend to share how holistic methods have saved me again and again. A few I will keep private for the time being just because there are things I'm still currently working through but defintely plan on sharing.

**As always this is disclaimer I am not a doctor. This blog is merely MY own personal experiences, thoughts and opinions. Please always check in with you PCP!!

[fontasticcrablettes]

#this also recontextualizes some of the other party members as well#really Repede doesn't have an arc but he is always very clearly making choices#Rita and Karol are young enough not to wrestle with it like Estelle and Raven do#but you can see Rita is probably the most passionate party member and hasmade a very real choice to devote her life to blastia#Karol is introduced as a failure but he legitimately has a broad array of skills because he never gave up on being in any guild#they don't wrestle with whether or not they are living because they are alive already#even Judith probably only really came alive when she stopped cleaning up the hermes blastia situation out of a sense of duty#tl dr my tags is that Yuri Rita Karol and Repede always made independent decisions about their lives and thus were always truly living

Yo I love your addition. I think you're dead-on with Judith, too. When she talks to Yuri after the Sword Stair, she says, "Had I never met Estelle, I might still be flying around with Ba'ul, not thinking of anything." Ever since the war, she's kind of just been going through the motions.

And even Yuri and Karol, I think, don't really start Making Choices until they've had some development. They're a step farther ahead than Estelle and Raven, but both of them are in a sort of limbo where they are ready and willing to choose for themselves, but they don't really know what they want.

Yuri dropped out of the Knights because he knew he wanted to help people and that he couldn't do that in the Knights, but then he just bummed around the lower quarter doing odd jobs and feeling unfulfilled for three years. Karol kept bouncing between guilds and his goals were always based on other people. He wanted to be like the Don, he wanted to be like Clint, he wanted Nan to respect him. It isn't until Yuri and Karol start their guild own that they actually make those choices they were prepared to make. That's when they leave their holding pattern and really come into their own and figure out what they actually want to do.

Rita is the only one who really seems to have decided what she wants to do and is thriving at it from the beginning, but even she makes some adjustments. At the beginning, she thinks her life's mission is to work with blastia and she pretty much ignores human relationships. After befriending the others, though, she realizes there's more to life than blastia research and that she can find time for friendships, too.

We've got the party spread out on a continuum of ability to make choices. From the ones who are not choosing, to those who want to but don't know what choices to make, to the one who thinks she's set but then realizes the path you've chosen can still be adjusted later.

A quick look through the game script shows that characters make statements about "choosing paths" 16 times throughout the game (variations on "This is the path I chose" "We have to figure out our own path" etc). That's enough to say those are the arc words of Vesperia.

It's about choices! And having the resolve to make those choices! And who has the right to make such choices for others! That's what it's all about, and everyone in the party interacts with that main theme in a different way!

At the end of the game, in her conversation with Yuri outside of Aurnion, Estelle says,

To live means to choose… and to have the resolve to make those choices. [...] I always just played the role I was given.

This perspective is the culmination of her character arc, the central thesis of what she has learned about life over the course of the game.

Given Vesperia's preoccupation with choosing one's path in general, it also becomes one of the central tenets of the game. So compare this core idea - "to live is to choose" - some things that Raven says.

During the reunion on Heracles:

I've been a dead man for over ten years.

And in a skit with Flynn:

It didn't matter to Schwann whether he was being used as a pawn or not. All he did was carry out his mission. The real Schwann died ten years ago.

If to live is to choose, it follows that those who are not alive can not choose. So... which came first for Schwann? Is it because he completely gave over his decisions to Alexei that he was "dead"? He stopped thinking for himself, and just like Estelle, he never made his own decisions and just played the role he was given. Because he never made choices, he was never truly alive.

Or maybe it worked the other way, and the reason he was such an obedient pawn is that he was dead inside. He couldn't have made choices, because Schwann died in the Great War and dead men can't make choices.

Either way, the Don was not like Alexei. He never tried to have as much control over Raven as Alexei did over Schwann. Nobody gave him a script to follow as Raven, and suddenly he had to make his own decisions. To live is to choose, and to choose is to live. Raven had to start making choices, and thus he came alive again.

Anyway, why doesn't Vesperia give Estelle and Raven a chance to talk?

[coldercreation]

skdjaks im catching up on ur recent posts cuz ive been inactive on tumblr, and i came across the one where u and some ppl in the replies lament on loving the idea of relationships but never developing crushes rlly and finding it hard to date and whatnot, and damn i relate. i was gonna comment but i wanna stay anon for now, so i am in ur inbox instead huhu. but yh i deal w the same thing, ppl have had crushes on me before, but ive never once returned them? and like even if i find someone attractive as far as i know that doesn’t translate to wanting to bone… blech. i was talking to my friend abt this yesterday, and i was telling her that maybe ill try just going on dates and figure out how i tick?? general research has led me to id as demi after contemplating ace when i was like 13 so,,, who knows rlly. tldr i am similar and i get being confused abt it H

Ohh this is so interesting actually! Like, I genuinely wasn't expecting that so many of you would relate when I wrote that post??🤔 Obviously I knew that there's no way that I'm the only one on this whole planet, but still, seems a lot more common than what I had thought!

I'd like to think that it's very much okay to be confused by these kinds of things, no matter how frustrating it can also be. That's pretty much what I've been telling myself recently. Even if I'd like to find someone I really connect with and to have a relationship, there's no rush or need to force anything immediately just for the sake of it. Maybe it can even be fun to explore with time, and to figure out those things that will make us tick?

For me it's probably more about working on my social life in general than about anything else. Especially since the apps clearly don't do it for me and there's not really any other ways to meet new people. But I'm kinda feeling optimistic about it, mostly because I've been enjoying being social so much more lately!

Thank you for sharing love! This topic has been so interesting and I've enjoyed hearing everyone's experiences xx

///

Huge RAMBLE warning lmao:

I actually brought this topic up in therapy after we chatted about it here, kinda just theorised about it while trying to make sense of it all. My/our conclusion was that, for me, it could stem from ✨trauma✨ and needing a lot of time to truly open up/warm up to people (demi?/trust issues/hyper-independence). And since the societal norm is to often move a lot faster than that, I haven't even had the time to see the possible connection/spark/whatever in people, because they've already deducted, based on me having been very cautious and closed off, that I'm not interested, and so they moved on. Which in turn could've made me feel unwanted or uninteresting or unattractive or even abandoned, y'know? So I'd be left confused, feeling like there was something wrong and unattractive? about me, while also wondering why I'm never actually interested in anyone even though I've always longed for those deep connections with people.

Nowadays I've been feeling a lot lighter and... open? I guess, and I can genuinely see a change in the way people approach me? Or maybe they've always approached me the same way but I just wasn't able to be receptive to it🤔 Dunno! But there must've been some sort of micro-visible behavioural shift in me or something, because as soon as I have started to feel like I can and want to seek out people's company and I genuinely enjoy it, people are just... suddenly there? Whereas before there was this void?? Even when I tried to change that.

And despite me not having met anyone specific I'd be interested in dating, I have felt like I could actually do it now if the right person came along. (When I tried dating through apps years ago I felt like I was forcing it. It was very surface level and short lived, didn't feel... right?) And with that 'shift', or whatever it is that's changed in my behaviour??? I've literally been dodging date invites this past year like it's a sport???? Like tf?😭😂 This is mind boggling to someone who has for years thought that no one just gives a shit about me and there's something so unattractive about me that that's why no one shows any interest... But I think it really is a lot to do with some strange subtle messages that were given off? (and maybe also me leaving the house sometimes lmao....) I believe I wrote it in one of the more brainy stories as well, maybe CYE?, that if someone's whole body language, subconsciously or not, screams 'leave me the fuck alone', people are likely to leave them alone. And if we're not aware that that's the message we're giving off, it can very easily make us feel confused and like something's inherently wrong with us.

But then again, I don't think I would've been ready for anything like this a few years back, so perhaps the brains are smarter than we think and know that it takes time to heal. My therapist agreed that not having crushes could be due to so many things, but what I was saying did track to him. Slow to warm up/demi? + (social) anxiety + trauma are a hell of a combo when it comes to building new relationships. No matter why I'm not having crushes easily, he told me to take it easy on myself and to be understanding; after dealing with mental health crap and trauma for most of my life, it'd be very unreasonable to compare myself to the societal 'standards' or expect myself to do things in the same phase as other people are. Like, I had other shit to deal with growing up, so maybe I'm just now feeling like I'm ready to be myself, and it's okay to take things slow.

(And while writing that, speaking about people suddenly being there when before I felt like no matter what I tried, I was struggling to connect with people; I just got a thank you text from someone I helped at work when they were upset about something, and they said they'd love to see me (this one is in a friend way, not a date way) outside of work sometime as well :((((( is it weird if I cry lmaooo) xx

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi! I saw you rb'd the post about autism and I rlly wanted to talk abt it! I don't live in the US, and therapists where i live are almost the same as you described. Idk if i have ADHD or Autism or something else entirely, but I do know there's something different from me than other people. I've known ever since I was little. I know my brain works differently, I see things differently, and I feel left out because of it. I relate to almost every obscure ADHD symptom (like i relate to the "i got distracted" but also the very specific "not everyone goes through that" ones).

I don't want to self diagnose because I'm nowhere near being an expert on neurodivergency, but I also know I'm different. Idk what to do because I talked to a therapist once about it (we didnt discuss it, i just mentioned it) and she said that if I've gotten this far (i'm 17) without a diagnosis and I've done fine, a diagnosis won't change that. I think that a diagnosis would 100% help because i would at least know for sure because rn i feel like i'm going crazy. Maybe everything I've been experiencing has just been the product of undealt with trauma, idk, but i rlly wish i knew for sure.

I imposter syndrome myself into thinking i'm actually just as normal as everyone else and am just thinking this becusde i want to think i'm "special". Which isn't true i'm 99% sure-

Sorry for the rant. I just dont know what to do :(

Hello, Nonsie! No need to apologize for the rant, I'm sorry you're in this situation. It absolutely sucks when therapists and other mental health professionals are like that. Sometimes it feels like they've made a decision about you already and are just tolerating you the rest of the time and dismissing everything else.

I've also been through the exact same thing with the "I know there's something different about me." I always chalked it up to me being "the gifted kid," but then I was different from all the other gifted kids as well. I didn't know what it was, so I instead turned to fiction and to stories. Especially those with magic and inhuman creatures, because I knew that whatever it was that made someone human, I didn't have it. So I saw myself instead in fairies and fae and as I got older, in monsters (I mean this in a good way). My point is that I think I understand the knowing you're different but not being able to put a finger on it experience. I often describe it as living in a bubble where I can see everyone else and they can see me, but I'm not with them. I'm separate even amongst everyone.

I will just say that if you don't think you're qualified to self-diagnose, I'd suggest looking into it more! Self-diagnoses are incredibly valid and are fairly accepted from what I've seen. Most people are very understanding about the process and about reasons why you might not be able to/not want to get an official diagnosis. I think almost all people who have diagnosed have also had the "I don't know enough to make this call" experience and then go on to look into it before doing so. They're generally not made lightly, instead made with the insight and reflection of weeks, months, years worth of work and research.

Also, I don't know how the rules work wherever you live, but it's possible that you'd be able to look into evaluations outside of your therapist if she is adamant about you not needing one. I know where I live I could find an evaluation location and submit the paperwork independently--though I think as a minor I'd need to include parent contact information, but then again maybe not. And that's also just where I am

You could also approach her or another therapist about it again and say that it's an avenue you'd like to explore even if it won't change much. Therapy is about you, so if you want something you're allowed to express that. One note I'd like to add is that I'd advise against relying on outside sources entirely for confirmation that your experiences aren't you "going crazy." That's not to say that an official diagnosis wouldn't be a relief or a breath of fresh air and a "finally! it was real!" That's an entirely understandable reason to want an evaluation or diagnosis, it's just that things don't always work perfectly and people can be wrong. So if you're basing your understanding entirely on someone else's assessment and they miss something, it can feel like a huge disappointment. And it's more likely when the system isn't friendly towards you.

I can tell you that you aren't making it up and that whatever you've experienced and been through, it is real and valid and you deserve answers about it. Whether those answers come from yourself or through treatment, I hope you find what you're looking for. I actually think a very common and relatable finding out you might be autistic/adhd/something else is obsessing over it and then convincing yourself you're making everything up and are actually normal and just suck at being a person.

I don't know if you want advice, but I think if I were in your situation (based on the knowledge I have) I'd look into it more. There are plenty of YouTube videos and online resources you can use to help figure things out, and if it's something you want then research what options are available in your area and what the requirements are (e.g. age/information/if you can do it alone or not). When I was first exploring all these possibilities, I started a thing in my notes app to keep track of different experiences that could potentially indicate or relate to something so I could look into it later, so maybe that could help!

I'm wishing you the best of luck in whatever comes next for you in this experience <33

[pub-lius]

ACTUALLY Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton

Alright, take two.

I've already typed this entire thing out once, so this is likely going to be a lot more lazy than anything else I will ever post, so :).

Sources: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow; John Laurens and the American Revolution by Gregory D. Massy; The Federalist by Alexander Hamilton; George Washington's Indispensible Men by Authur S. Lefkowitz; Lafayette by Harlow Giles Unger; Who Was Alexander Hamilton? by Pam Pollack and Meg Belviso

Hamilton wished for a war when he was like a baby. So if you know Hamilton, you know that one line where Hamilton says "As a kid of the Carribean, I wished for a war, I knew that I was poor, I knew it was the only way to rISE UP-" in Right Hand Man. Well, that line is based off of a letter Hamilton sent to his childhood bestie, Edward Stevens: "...Ned, my ambition is [so] prevalent that I... would willingly risk my life, tho' not my character, to exalt my station... I'm no philosopher, you see, and may be jus[t]ly said to build castles in the air... I shall conclude by saying I wish there was a war. Alex. Hamilton." Okay, dude, calm down, you're like two years old. I think he was actually like 14-16, but for dramatic purposes we'll say he was an actual infant (do I sound like Chernow?). But I hate how much this letter foreshadows. It's like he jinxed himself, its almost embarrassing.

Hamilton ran a business at 14. Now if you've ever been fourteen and you were like "i think i feel like running a business" literally shut up no one asked. I think this is impressive. When Hamilton was at least 14, the guys the owned Beekman and Cruger (it had a different name by this time but this one sounds cooler) just dipped and left Hamilton in charge. This was actually a pretty good decision, since Hamilton managed it well. There was also this one time where Hamilton told a whole captain of a ship who didn't perform up to standard, "Reflect continually on the unfortunate voyage you have just made and endeavor to make up for the considerable loss therefrom accruing to your owners." This man was so arrogant I wish I had his confidence. Yeah that was cool ig, but if I met teenage-Hamilton, I'd literally hate him.

Hamilton saved the president of his college. Ever the dramatic, Hamilton had a thing for suppressing mobs (though he was pretty much never successful). There was this one time at King's College where a mob formed to "talk" with the president of the university, Dr. Myles Cooper (by "talk" i mean make him into a tory bird). And, according to Who Was Alexander Hamilton? (this book gives me so much joy), "Alexander vowed to protect him [aww]... He stood up to the crowd, telling them that violence would only hurt their cause. He couldn't stop the crowd, but he delayed them long enough for Dr. Myles Cooper to escape in his nightgown," (Pollack and Belviso 27-29). This is a really sweet description of it, but Hamilton was probably calling the mob a bunch of insults and stuff, judging by how he later handled riots. Also, Cooper thought Hamilton was rallying the mob, so he was a complete jerk to Hamilton, but rightfully. Everyone, bully Hamilton. He's short and dead like an idiot.

Hamilton was really cool on the battlefield, don't @ me. Now, despite being a clumsy little gremlin and an absolute dork, Hamilton was a pretty good leader, and I guess veterans deserve to be recognized for their victories or whatever. At the battle of Princeton, one of my favorites, Hamilton had very big, cool guns, and did some cool stuff. "Returning to the final phase of the battle of Princeton, British infantry took refuge inside Nassau Hall, the building that housed the College of New Jersey. American artillery commanded by Capt. Alexander Hamilton [ya boy] was brought to bear on the college building... Washington was on the scene and noticed this young artillery officer who skillfully commanded his gun battery. The general would soon invite Hamilton to become one of his aides-de-camp," (Lefkowitz 92). Wow so cool moving on to Yorktown.

When the Americans were building their fortifications, two British fortifications were in the way. So rude. Consequently, Washington sent The Gay Trio, Lafayette, Laurens, and Hamilton, to uh, silence them. Hamilton pulled off a successful sneak attack, and won the battle swiftly, leading to the American victory in the battle of Yorktown, and therefore the war. "...Colonel Hamilton['s] well known talents and gallantry were on this occasion most conspicuous and serviceable. Our obligations to him, to Colonel Gimat [stan], to Colonel Laurens, and to each and all the officers are above expression..." -Major General Marquis de Lafayette. Lafayette is so nice I would marry him if he was alive and single and legal and not old as hell. Like omg he gave credit to everyone but himself that's so nice I'm such a simp for Lafayette. Anyway, Hamilton was cool too ig.

Hamilton caused the evacuation of Philadelphia like an iDIOT. So, after Brandywine (British victory), Washington sent Hamilton on a foraging mission in Vally Forge to get flour, horseshoes, and tomahawks (not quite as exciting as Yorktown). Well, our clumsy ginger rat got caught, and wrote to the president of Congress, John Hancock, "If Congress have not yet left Philadelphia, they ought to do it immediately without fail, for the enemy have the means of throwing a party [party rockers in the house tonight] this night into the city. I have just now crossed the valley-ford [Valley Forge], in doing which a party of the enemy came down & fired upon us."

Surprise, this turned out not to be the entire goddamn British army, it was just a few scouts sooo... let's just say Philadelphia wasn't happy. "Our Removal from Philad. Was owning to information that General Howe was crossing Schuylkill [River]... However tho' this Intelligence was from one of the General's family (Alexander Hamilton) it was not well founded & we wish we had not left Philad.," -James Duane. Yeeeaaahhh, that's awkward. Not the best way to get your name known in the capital, I must say.

Hamilton was possibly bisexual, and this is hardcore because I say so. Now, I'll add more quotes to this later, but basically heres my interpretation of the historical evidence and whatnot. Basically, Hamilton was a really closed off, cynical guy, since like everyone he ever loved died or left him pretty much, and he wasn't really the type to make and keep close friends; "...how little dependence is to be placed on treaties, which have no other sanction than the obligations of good faith, and which oppose general considerations of peace and justice to the impulse of any immediate interest or passion," (Federalist 64); It is a known fact in human nature, that its affections are commonly weak in proportion to the distance or diffusiveness of the object," (Federalist 73). Um, Mr. Hamilton? You're projecting your trauma on the government again.

Also, despite working with him for like twenty years, Hamilton really never got close to Washington, like at all. He even said to Laurens, "I have no friendship for him and have professed none," in regards to Washington, which is kind of mean. But he ALSO told Laurens:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my dear Laurens, it m[ight] be in my power by action rather than words [to] convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that till you bade us adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments and to keep my happiness independent of the caprice of others. You s[hould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent."

*mocking Hamilton* its YOUR fault that i love you and it was RUDE that you FORCED me to love you how DARE you you SUCK i love you uwu.

Also, at the top of that letter, someone mysterious (probably Hamilton's son) wrote, "I must not publish the whole of this," and Massey still thinks Hamilton was straight.

But yeah, that's about it. I had originally written more at the beginning, but I unfortunately lost the original draft, so I'll just settle for this. I hope you enjoyed, though, and maybe learned something or found a quote you needed or something. I did more research than I wanted to in one sitting for this, so appreciate it or I'll cry. Thanks love you <3

[manybcdthings]

Felix kept his mouth shut, choosing not to correct his niece for what felt like the millionth time. The more he tried to say "Agneta is my mother" the stranger it sounded, as if it wasn't already weird enough being the witch's son. "These letters are from 1919, a year before they got married. Which is odd, since courtships were usually quick back then. Engaged and married before anyone could pop out a baby without a ring, I guess." he rambled, realizing Madisyn probably didn't care. Felix noticed how they both were sharing this uncomfortable truth. How sifting through the past felt less like piecing together happy memories and more like unearthing buried secrets.

Madisyn's suggestion about the pen hex made him frown thoughtfully as he took the two identical letters again. "Oh, shit. You might be right. How would Lars or Hanna get a drafted letter from the investigation? One of them wrote it?" he scrutinized the worn paper, shoulders slumping slightly as he realized he couldn't tap into any lingering magic. "Are you still glitchy? See if you can feel anything." Felix said while passing over the two letters to the Kennedy. "No…Hanna. No 'h' at the end, Madi." he huffed. "If you don't grasp that soon, everything is about to get even more confusing for you because Olaf's mom is called Anna." Felix shook his head and gestured to some certificates, picking a few up to showcase at Madi's question about the research. "Just supernatural discovery acknowledgments. There's one about phoenixes. Dread to think how many phoenix deaths that caused as a knock on effect." he shivered.

Despite understanding Madisyn's point, Felix still gave her an unimpressed look. For two reasons. "Madi, abortions have existed forever. From cinnamon to gin. That's why it's called mother's ruin. Well, it's also called that because they let women drink it with men in the 1700s, which apparently meant they were neglecting their kids and becoming prostitutes. Because we've always hated women doing anything, I guess." Felix caught himself mid-ramble and raised a hand, urging himself back to relevancy. "It's weird because I always thought Greta was an only child. I never knew I had any great uncles or aunts." he waved at the photo of miserable, innocent faces, finding comfort that not much had changed in the family tree. Just as he predicted. "Maybe they were friends? Other witches' kids? Might explain why there are no names on the back." but then his finger tapped one of the boys. "He looks like Henrik if you squint, though."

Felix's voice trailed off as his attention moved to the trunks, his gaze instantly landing to the one they were yet to open. "There might be some stuff in there. Greta and Karl moved to New York after they had their kids. Maybe they didn't take everything to Sweden when they moved back." he speculated, pointing at the trunk. "But I'm guessing that's Olaf's family shit? Maybe?" Felix ventured as he stepped towards it, getting ready to dig through more history that seemed unreachable and impossible to understand. "Greta did the same as her mom, Hanna. Alchemy and research. Olaf’s side, they were all finance. We really know how to be unique and independent in this family."

"whatever you say, felix." madisyn hums without a single inclination of interest, attention captured by the photo album. and a weird little pair of dusty baby boots that she refuses to touch. "think of it like an olive branch?" she suggests without truly listening to her uncle. "sorry for not talking grandma, here's big trunks of old things i took from you without asking." the kennedy chuckles, but travels back into her own train of thought as felix continues to drone. hannah without an h would be annah. and that's dumb. she thinks to herself, slowly studying the photographs of a previous life and world she never connected to.

madisyn doesn't return to the present moment until felix gestures to the documents, pulling her interest from photographs to words with the hopes that together they can create a clearer idea of these forgotten people. except, they're not forgotten. simply not talked about. "ohh, cute. i wonder if he proposed before, during or after the fire." madisyn chirps with a laugh which trails off as felix shows her two letters. all of the writing simply appears as nonsensical to her, even if she can see how they're the same. "felix, all of this is weird." madisyn comments, waving her hands in gesture to every thing she's discovered so far. "hey, what if that was like a possessed pen hex or something?" she flicks a finger to the identical letters. "i used to do it like all the time on my report cards once i learned it." madi adds with a shrug and another laugh while felix turns his attention to the photo album.

"so, this is going well. lars and annah are like, really weird. probably killed people in a fire before getting married so they could grabby hands a bunch of money. what did she research? was it creepy?" madisyn hums, ignoring the photo album as felix turns through it so she can take a look at the certifications. remembering, once again, she can't speak or read any swedish. her gaze flits to the photo that felix slips from the album, fighting a chuckle at his comment. "out of everything that's weird here, felix, that's not one of them. they like didn't have the pill or abortions back then. so of course annah just shot them out like little peas." she says, snatching the photograph to have a look for herself before brandishing it to felix with a little hum. "awww, cute they're like all dressed the same and making the same little depressed face. like they have lead poisoning or something. are these like...great uncles and aunts?"

once again, madisyn reverts back to whatever limited knowledge felix has. which she knows is sparing, but it's more than her own. once the photo of the weird ghostly children is tucked back into the album, madisyn continues on, now taking over from felix looking through it. "so..." she takes a breath, glancing to the unopened trunk. "lars and annah...greta's mom and dad and...all of those children, i guess. so what about greta, what does she do? her stuff won't be here, right? it'll all be in sweden?" she points to the second trunk.

[angria]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨💝

Thank you lovely! 💜💕☺️

Oh boy, always a difficult thing to come up with 😳 One time, T asked me what I liked about myself and I replied “my blood pressure.” He promptly called me a smartass hehe

1) Probably the one thing that I fully let myself feel proud over and not struggle with is my horsemanship and equitation. I worked my ass off for years to have proper equitation while riding, practicing almost every day. And people noticed and would use me as an example while riding. But more importantly, I make sure I always have good horsemanship, taking care of the horse and developing a relationship with them, learning their individual personality and what they need in terms of care as well as being ridden. No two horses are alike and it is 100% the responsibility of the rider to patiently earn their trust (on the horse’s timeline, not the rider…it cannot be rushed), learn how to best care for them, and to make sure they feel safe. My relationship with my horse and gaining her trust will always be the proudest thing in my life. Random people would tell me how our connection was so visible. Just miss her so much 💔

2) My compassion and empathy. I try my best to always recognize the inherent dignity in others (definitely do not always succeed, especially when triggered 👌🏻). And also try my best to help others in need, recognizing situations of injustice (again, not always successful 😓). One of the biggest aspects I miss about teaching. Building relationships with my students and gaining their trust was so freaking cool and special, that they knew my classroom provided a safe space for them to be themselves. Especially my queer students.

3) My intelligence. Always the bookworm and love love love learning (except math lol). If I could be a perpetual student the rest of my life, I would say yes in a second. Never thought I would say this, but I actually miss doing research and writing papers 😭

4) My independence. This is something that is hard for me to recognize until someone points it out. Like I dismiss the fact that I moved from a suffocating southern state surrounded by farmland suburbia to this massive city in the northeast, 7+ hours away, at the age of 21 to go to graduate school. To me, I didn’t think twice, wanting to get the fuck out when I was 15. But then friends tell me how they could never do that. Also my independence with treatment. All of my life, I sought out treatment on my own, doing the research on my own, figuring out medication, knowing what I wanted and not afraid to say no and/or leave a therapist, etc. It’s hard for me to remember what a huge accomplishment that is.

5) And one physical aspect…my eyes. I have light, ice blue eyes. Pretty much one of the only things I like about my appearance 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sooo I'm always afraid to pass these things along because I don't want to offend anyone. Or someone has already received it.

[h2oishealthy]

Everytime I see the arguement that :if Lilly didn't exist then he would be a deatheater 'I genuinely get confused on like why is this the hottest tea that they have when it's just cold water.

So the reasons why I think snape would enjoy the dark arts (without Lilly) it's like for: recognition, academic interest, security. It's all based on self interest okay cool whatever people have been selfish before Coolio.

Assuming that the mauruaders don't target him because constantly because there is no Lilly therfore he's just another slytherin. Snape still would have to deal with all the other shit : he still will be isolated in his house, the house he is in has already been isolated from the rest of the school, he is still poor, he still is the scrawny scrapper who wants to make a mark, he has no strong sane adult presence, he has friends of the same background which makes him susceptible to group think.

You really thought you got a big brain moment when the mud blood incident is what proves he can be a deatheater. No lol mauruader stans were right he would be a death eater because where else does he go then? Also do you have any idea how much of a target snape is just by being out casted, poor, isolated - cults thrive on vulnerable people like this. Like there is no other better alternative for him. That's the sad part love, even if the mud blood incident didn't take place snape would choose any option that fits his self interest (it's a very him against the world), he doesn't win there is no support system that allows him to be safe or to choose differently .

You know those posts in early 2013s where people could ask : poor but happy or rich but sad. And people just simply commented poor but happy because money can't buy happiness :). It's like absolutely absurd that there is such an outrage for people who believe that joining a cult (that provides them with what they are looking for) when they are vulnerable and in circumstances where there is no support for them.

No shit he would be a loyal death eater : his entire world view is shaped by those around him, he has changed his views at some point be feel recognized, to disagree would mean to start again, it falls in his own interest. Lilly shows him what it means to see the good in people, to see the good in humanity that's why he switched and kept that belief for so long. He knows that something good exists because his ex best friend was good. And she died fighting for that belief. Because like If I told you: if you have been isolated and you were easily persuaded by cults that have the same it's us against the world mentality you would absolutely not try to ruin what you have - who would do that? Who would want to just make their place in the world or the sake of it ? Why not just endure it? Why fight? .

Lilly was fighting for her right to be in the magical world its very much an us against them but it doesn't matter to her if she dies fighting because she has a strong morals. Her unwillingness to give in to what the majority were saying is what let's snape know that he can participate in the right side in the war and endure what he has to go through. Because if someone who he knew was good did this and died for this he knows he can maybe do this as well.

wow, thank you for this! i’m not very good with putting things into words so i hope i can get it out right

the whole “what if” argument is so dumb bc you can say that for anything. if lily hadn’t been born, sev would or wouldn’t have chosen the same path, we just don’t know, but people love to use that excuse as a way to prove that snape is a horrible person who would always choose the death eater path which is so dumb bc like ?? if snape had a good home life, supportive parents, wasn’t bullied and had friends and adults who cared about him maybe he wouldn’t have chosen to be a death eater. if kreacher wasn’t hurt, regulus would never have turned against voldemort. if something happened to draco, narcissa would have turned against harry. it’s just a useless argument which will never get you anywhere bc, while they can chose to believe it, that the matter of the fact is it’s not canon, it’s a headcanon, which they can have but it should never be used in a debate or a discussion. it just won’t get you anywhere.

and you are right, snape was very much a product of his environment. even if lily hadn’t existed, he was still poor and abused and not entirely safe amongst his slytherin peers, esp at this time where voldemort was actively recruiting and spreading propoaganda. but who knows, bc as i said, it’s all what ifs.

him having an intrest in the dark arts never seemed like such a big deal to me? idk if this is just me, but it’s like u said, i always thought his interests were acedemic based, he’s the type that wants to know everything about everything and does his own independent researches and he hones his skill. and it comes in handy too - when dumbledore got cursed bc of the ring it was snapes knowledge of the dark arts that saved him and allowed him more time to live. for a child with an abusive muggle father and a pureblood mother, he was probably grateful for anything magical that he could get his hands on to feel closer to his roots and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. however, dark magic is dark magic and it’s dangerous - it was the responsibility of the adults in his life to shelter him from that but no one ever cared enough to do that for him so he was let loose to do as he pleased, and that is what caught his interest which developed and progressed into something more as he grew older, which we see with him inventing his own spells (specifically sectumsempra).

the odds were really against him from such a young age :/ it’s sad