#i already feel like i've been missing everything lately LOL even though i know i haven't

[covenofthearticulate]

girl, being on west coast time and constantly working overtime and having a fuck ass commute and trying to be in a fandom really sucks :/

[dollfacefantasy]

Restless Dreams

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: leon gets home late after another hard day at work to you having some extra sweet dreams.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, fingering, somnophilia, wet dream

word count: 3.6k

a/n: hey everyone!! hope you all enjoy this :) i guess i've been into soft leon with somno lately idk LOL. i was kind of tired myself when writing/editing this, so forgive any errors pretty please. new divider from here. thank you for any comments and reblogs <3

tags: @sleepyluxe @kaitkatme @tosuckmyweenis @pupthepokemonenthusiast @bizzarethirst @death-paint @petitecolibri @iron-toxinz @wildest-dreams-at-midnight @nexysworld @explorevenus

“So what time do you think you’re gonna get here?” you ask before blowing on the drying polish that coats your nails.

“My shift finishes up at 12, and then I gotta file some reports. I’ll probably be done at 1, so not too long after that,” Leon explains through the phone. Despite his attempt to lay it out for you, there’s still a pause, one he came to recognize as your reaction of displeasure. A smile plays on his lips. “But you know the real answer is as soon as I can.”

You look down at your phone on your vanity, a pout forming on your face. Obviously, it wasn’t his fault he had to work so much now. He’d warned you when he started at the police station a few months ago, but it didn’t prepare you for how much you’d miss him.

It made you feel dumb, that nagging, achy feeling of longing in your chest. It wasn’t like he was off to war or something. You still saw him almost everyday. But more and more of his time was consumed by work now. Even when he was with you, he was often exhausted. 

Sometimes all you could think about his new job was that he was your boyfriend, not theirs. You’d mentally scold yourself for being so immature when that happened, but the sentiment still lingered in your head.

“Ok…” you say, trying to keep your voice neutral. He hears the dejection in your tone though.

“Baby,” he coos in that voice that sent warmth through your spine and got you to agree with everything he said, “You know I’d rather be with you. I’m just new and have to take the time to learn. Plus, with the caseload and the number of officers here, they need me at the station.”

“I need you more,” you say. You try to pass it off as playfulness, but it comes from real feelings. Your heart was beginning to tense with resentment for the RPD for taking him away so much. You knew the job meant a lot to him though which is why you would never unleash your admittedly petty frustrations.

A low laugh leaves him, and you can hear that loving smirk on his face as his voice comes through your phone’s speaker.

“Do you now? You’re really missing me that much?” he teases, leaning back in the driver’s seat of his cruiser. 

He knew that you did in fact miss him that much. And even though, since starting at the police station, he tried to project the image of a tough guy, he missed you just as much. That’s why he started calling you during lulls in his shift.

“Mhm. It’s not fair. It’s like I’m sharing you with the station. And I don’t like sharing,” you say with an exaggerated huff.

“Oh, I know you don’t,” he chuckles. He sighs happily, checking the time to calculate how much time was left before he could have you in his arms again. “But not much longer, baby. Then you get me all to yourself for the whole weekend.”

“I better,” you grumble with a smile.

“I promise you will,” he says genuinely. A light on his dashboard flickers, alerting him that his attention is needed elsewhere. “Just don’t stay up too late waiting for me tonight, ok? Your rest is important.”

“Seeing you is more important,” you respond.

“I know, but I prefer my girl when she’s not all cranky and sleep deprived. So try tonight, sweetheart. For me?” he asks.

“I guess,” you concede. Your heart already aches, knowing he’s about to hang up.

“I love you, baby,” he says softly, “I’ll see you later.”

“I love you too,” you tell him before he disconnects the call.

The silence that falls over your room makes it feel even more empty. You tap the glass screen of your phone, scanning for the time before you finish getting ready for bed. Your mouth curves downward when the numbers light up on the screen.

Only 10:30. Too much time till you’ll hear him come through your front door, but it’s not like you can do anything about it. You haphazardly go through the rest of your routine before dragging yourself over to your bed and getting in.

Sliding between the soft pink sheets, you flop down against your pillow and stare at the ceiling as you contemplate how to kill the time. Nothing grabs your interest because none of it’s him. It’s all just filler.

And worst of all, you were starting to feel sleepy. You wanted to wait up for Leon so badly, but you also went through a whole day of your own that tired you out. Plus, your bed was just so comfy with your plush blankets and full pillows, stuffed animals and frilly decorative cushions scattered on one side.

Thinking it would help to keep your eyes actively focused on something, you try to read. Your eyes scan over the words, and it isn’t long before you realize you’d made a horrible mistake. Moving your eyes along the page only made them more drowsy.

Next you turn on the tv and put on something you didn’t really have to pay attention to. But the soft glow of the tv casts across you and the low chatter of the characters becomes background noise, making it even harder for you to keep your eyes open.

You lazily reach across your bed and grab the bunny stuffie Leon had bought for you a few weeks prior. Tucking it beneath your chin and close to your chest, your drooping eyes fall shut and your breaths become soft and even. Barely any time has gone by before you’re sinking into slumber.

Leon glances down at his phone, the small numbers illuminating 2:04 in the darkness of the hallway. He enters your place with the key you gave him and shuts the door as quietly as possible. He knows you’re sleeping from seeing the dark bedroom. Already feeling guilty for taking longer than he’d expected, he didn’t want to add to that feeling by waking you up.

He makes his way to your room, padding silently down the hall. Once he reaches the door, he pushes it open with almost no force in an attempt to avoid even the slightest creak. You’re where he expected you to be, curled up in your bed, completely peaceful as you slept. He knew he probably looked like a little lovesick puppy right about now, eager to hop into bed and snuggle up to your side, but he didn’t care.

It takes him no time to shed his police uniform. He makes quick work of unlacing his boots and kicking them off. His pants and shirt crumple up at the foot of your bed next to his belt and socks. Finally, once he’s got on a pair of sweatpants he kept at your place, he climbs into bed with you.

He shoves your stuffies and extra pillows out of his way with a playful roll of his eyes and gets as close to you as he can. His arm drapes over you, and he nuzzles the back of your neck, planting a few kisses on the base of your head. You smelled so good, felt so soft, perfect to come home to.

His body melts into the mattress, and he’s ready to give into his own urges to sleep. That is until he notices you’re not as peaceful as you appeared from the doorway. His eyebrows raise as he feels your legs squirming. Restless movements from your feet beneath the covers and your thighs shifting aimlessly against each other.

He’s ready to brush it off at first. ‘Must just be having some wild dreams,’ he thinks with another kiss to your head. But then he hears the faintest sound, so quiet that he probably would have missed it had he been focused on anything else. It’s a whimper. A gentle, tender squeak that slips from between your lips into the cool air of your bedroom.

Now, his face conveys his concern. He worries you’re having a nightmare. That at any moment you’ll wake up with tears in your eyes and your heart pounding out of your chest. Immediately, he begins stroking your arm, kissing your temple, murmuring “It’s ok, baby. I’m here.”

But you make that little noise again, and this time it paints a different picture in Leon’s head. This whimper didn’t sound scared or stressed, like you were crying out for his protection. No, this sound brought to mind images of you writhing beneath him, nails marking his biceps with small crescents as he pumped himself in and out of you.

He shakes his head because that couldn’t be it. That’s just his horny mind creating things that aren’t there from being so pent up.

At least that’s what he tells himself until you make the noise again. It brings the same memories up, but this time he’s even more sure of it. He lifts his head off of yours to look down at you and try to figure out what to do next.

You look so cute, brows slightly furrowed, lips parted. As he brushes some hair from your face, he notices your fingers clutching your stuffed rabbit a little tighter. Your breath hitches for a moment before you let out a soft, sleepy whine of his name.

It’s unmistakable now what’s going on. He smirks and traces a finger over your lips. The pad of his index finger drags on your bottom lip slightly, turning your mouth into that pout he loved so much. He leans and kisses your cheek as you whine again.

“Please.”

He chuckles at how needy you sound even in your sleep, but at the same time, your voice has blood rushing to his cock while his head swirls with desire. He shifts his own hips, subtly pressing his erection against your ass. His eyes flutter at the minute pleasure. He grows more bold, and his hand rubs your hip before coasting up your side to your chest, giving your breast a gentle squeeze.

You whimper louder and squirm. He squeezes again softly while lowering his head to your neck to lay some tender kisses on the side of your throat. His palm leaves your tits and smooths down over your tummy in the direction of your shorts.

Cautiously, he maneuvers his hand past the waistband and dips into your panties. He cups your pussy, feeling the heat radiating off the area. A single finger slides between your folds in almost an exploratory touch. He feels your slick all over his digit. Clearly, this dream was a pretty good one.

He begins to use another finger, sliding the two up and down through your wetness. You roll onto your back, your breasts rising and falling as your breath gets heavier. Your thighs spread a little as if you subconsciously sensed his presence between your legs.

In your dreams, Leon was doing a lot more than rubbing you with his fingers. After you had fallen asleep, it felt like no time had passed. All of the sudden you were just on the table in your dining room, spread out for his rapture. 

You didn’t realize you were dreaming, everything felt so real. To you, he was really there, looking down at you with those loving yet lecherous eyes. Hands roaming your exposed body, lips caressing your skin all over. Everything seemed light and airy while also feeling heavy and thick. Your head, filled with clouds, slipped in and out of the moment. The sensation of him rutting his cock between your thighs and sliding inside of you was your reality at the moment.

In actual reality, Leon continues to move his fingers slowly, swiping them over your entrance and taking them back up to circle your clit. You mewl when he applies some pressure, sending sparks through you. Your squirming becomes more motivated, and he can tell your drifting away from your restful sleep back toward consciousness.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” he murmurs, his voice huskier with arousal this time around.

You hear his voice in your dreams. The deep rumble enters your ears as you envision his hips pistoning into your wanting cunt. You mumble something in response, but he can’t understand the sleepy babbling. He rubs your clit a little harder with some more speed. You twitch in response, yet your eyes remain closed.

“I know, baby. I know it feels so good,” he coos and kisses behind your ear.

More incoherent words fall from your mouth. He sucks love bites into your neck, and you tilt your head back, craving more of that feeling. The dream version of him began mimicking the actions of the real Leon as you neared waking.

Whining louder, your fingers dig into the smooth fur of your plush bunny before letting it go. He nips at the sensitive skin of your throat as his fingers travel down and push inside your heat.

The feeling rips a moan from you and causes your eyes to open. Your back arches as he works them deeper. Your hips wriggle a little as you make sense of what’s happening.

“Leon?” you whimper. Your sleepy eyes struggle to stay open after being torn from the fog of sleep.

“That’s right, baby. It’s just me. You were having some nice dreams, weren’t you, pretty girl?” he says.

“Mhm,” you hum mindlessly.

“About me?” he teases, eyes watching your body fidget with the pleasure you felt.

“About you,” you confirm before he leans down and kisses your lips. They were so soft against his own. He slowly moves his mouth with yours and languidly slides his tongue against yours.

You moan into the kiss as his fingers curl within you and hit your favorite spot. Your feet lightly kick at the sensation. Your hips rise a little as you feel the flood gates holding your release about to break.

You’re too sleepy to tell him out right, but he knows the signs. He keeps working you there until your body seizes and arches off the bed. You let out a throaty moan and turn your head to bury your face against his shoulder.

“There you go. Let it all out, sweetheart,” he whispers and kisses your head.

You ride out the high on his hand, and by the time you’re done, you’re ready to fall asleep again. Your mind is hazy with the fog of release. You’re drifting off as your body settles without even realizing it.

You’re only yanked back to reality by Leon scooping you up into his lap. He’s sitting with his back to the headboard, and he situates you between his thighs, back against his chest. His arms keep you caged in nice and close, safe and warm.

“Don’t fall asleep again just yet, babydoll,” he murmurs while kissing up your neck.

Your head lolls back against his shoulder. The fight to stay awake gets a little easier as his hand returns to your soaked panties. He doesn’t tease this time, just slides in two fingers and starts moving them in and out.

The new angle makes you squirm and whine, but he holds you tight in place with his free arm.

“Gotta work you open, honey. Can’t just slide my dick in you with no warm up,” he says with a smirk.

His voice pulls you towards lucidity a little more. Your hands wrap around his free arm for support while your hips instinctively roll into his blissful touch.

“I missed you,” you choke out between gasps and whimpers.

“I know you did,” he teases, grinning against your throat. His cock throbs against the small of your back as his ears latch onto the sound of your slick around his fingers. “Came home to cuddle with my sweet girl, and I find her having such dirty dreams.”

Your cheeks heat up as you start to piece together what had happened. You fully realize now that your escapade on the kitchen table was entirely in your mind. You feel embarrassed for a moment, but the feeling dies pretty quick as you rapidly approach the edge for a second time.

“Not my fault,” you whimper shyly.

He chuckles and kisses your temple once more. “I know it’s not. If anything, it’s mine. I think I’ve been neglecting my baby,” he says with a mocking lilt in his voice.

You cry out as his fingers brush against those same spots that brought you to the finish last time. Your hips twitch, and you grip his thighs as your peak rises within you. Moments later your cumming all over his fingers, sucking in a harsh breath as a second release courses through you, even more intense then the last.

His free arm keeps you secure against his chest while rubbing your side soothingly. The heel of his other palm roughly massages your clit as his fingers pump in and out.

“Good girl,” he coos, “That’s it, just one more and then I can put you to sleep how you deserve.”

As soon as you seem to be coming down, Leon lifts you up again, tugging your clothes off and moving your body around like a doll to get you in the position he wants. You were definitely more pliant after two orgasms, but you could also see how his training had been paying off. Maybe this new job wasn’t all bad.

He has you on your back now, thighs against your chest and knees hooked over his arms. Again, he had no patience to tease right now, so after pushing his sweats down to mid thigh, he takes his cock and slides it in you with no hesitation. He groans as your hole takes him in, your walls pulsing around him even after he bottoms out.

“So wet. I can just slide right in,” he mumbles as his own hips twitch.

Your eyes droop at the stretch. It always felt so satisfying, having him buried balls deep in you. As close as he could possibly be. No fear of him leaving or pain of being separated. You whine and reach up to pull him closer.

He follows along and rests his face against your neck as he begins thrusting. You hear him panting right in your ear. His hands grip your hips so hard you know there’ll be marks.

“Perfect pussy’s made for me,” he grunts while snapping his hips, “Miss it every second I’m not inside it.”

You nod lazily as you continue to clamp down around him. After two releases, you didn’t even feel a building ecstasy anymore, just a constant stream of pleasure.

“Leon,” you whine, “Harder. Wanna feel it.”

He moans at your plea but indulges you, grabbing you harder, pressing your legs higher, filling you deeper.

“Wanna be sore after, don’t you, sweetheart? Want a reminder of me while I’m at work. Something to tide you over till I can do this again. Won’t have to rely on dreams then, right?” he says.

“Yeah,” you whimper. Your bed creaks as he picks up the pace, but your moans mask the sound as they grow in volume.

He fucks into you over and over, stoking the flames within himself, trying to build to that explosion. You were so tight, so warm. He hums another low moan and whimpers softly as he feels it right there. He gasps softly before holding you tighter and muttering in your ear.

“Ready for another one, honey? Gonna be the last one and then we’ll get you comfy and off to sleep.”

“Yeah,” you moan again, unable to say much else.

“Good… good girl,” he moans before his hips buck wildly and he finally releases.

You finish for a third time. You cling to him tight as the euphoria washes over you again. Locking your legs around his hips, you keep your face pressed to the warm skin of his neck as it goes through you. You feel the hot flood of cum he fucks into you. His chest is heaving now too as he recovers from the high.

He stays on top of you for a moment before pulling out. You cling harder upon losing that full feeling. He smiles at your desire to be close to him and gives you one more kiss before sitting up.

“So sweet to me, baby. I hope that made up for the late night,” he whispers and strokes your hair.

“It did,” you say with a nod. Your eyes were already shutting again, ready to go back to sleep after being fucked so good.

He looks at you with all the love in the world as he pulls his sweats up. He then helps you pull your panties and shirt back on, trying to laugh at your sleepy, half-assed movements.

After that, he gets you all tucked in next to him, snuggled up in his arms like he originally intended. He even grabs that stuffed bunny he got you and fits it close to you in case you want it.

“Get some rest, honey. You need it,” he whispers while rubbing your back.

“Mhm,” you respond tiredly, “You too. You’re all mine for the weekend, and I don’t want you tired out the whole time.”

“Alright, but I’m gonna be tired out if we do some more of that again tomorrow,” he jokes. He pulls you close to him and shuts his eyes, nestling his head against yours and settling in to rest.

That puts a smile on your face and you nuzzle him once more before letting yourself fall asleep for the night.

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | sixteen.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.6k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa, physical fighting, mingi calling his friend out on his stupidity, crying, sorry if i missed anything.. quickly edited this lol, yunho is just mad and overwhelmed with his feelings rn 😭

yunho: baby

yunho: wait at the science building later, please? i'll come get you so we can walk to my car together

you: okee ☺️

yunho: ☺️ see you later? enjoy the rest of your classes

you: you too, my bighead!

Yunho smiles at his phone before tucking it away, slowly following Yeosang to their group study session.

"Should I even ask why you're smiling like that?" Yunho looks up at Yeosang and chuckles.

"Just Y/N."

"Of course. Is she in class?"

"Yup. She's in the back row being all distracted."

"Perfect way to pass time in my honest opinion." Yeo clears his throat. "I've been meaning to ask you out of curiosity."

"What's up?"

"Have you guys told each other 'I love you' and everything?" 

"Mm, no. Not yet at least."

"Not yet?" Yeosang smiles. "You feel that way for her, don't you?"

"I do. I just.. I don't know? I don't know if it's too soon. What if I scare her off?"

"Nah, doubt that. You can't put a timer on these things."

"True. Plus, it sounds cliché and like it's out of a movie, but I truly wanna wait 'till it feels right to say it to her."

"That makes sense."

"Trust me, I really do feel that way for her." He lets out a breath as they look towards the library building, the sun from behind slightly blinding them as they approach the doors. "She has literally become my bestfriend. It's crazy how life works."

"I know. I remember when you first told me you were helping her out for literature." Yeosang chuckles. "Or when you'd save her in the back lot."

"Still can't believe that was even real." Yunho does a tiny head tilt. "He's really something."

"What was up with Y/N's birthday thing? How did he even know?"

"I don't know. Word gets around fast. Why wouldn't Seonghwa know? Especially since it has to do with Y/N."

"Can't wait till the day he leaves you two alone. Must be fucking annoying to deal with."

"I try not to mind it. Though, I think he's been getting bolder lately and I can't put my finger on it."

"Has Y/N said anything?" He shakes his head.

"No. Maybe I'm just overthinking. She just seemed a little weird about him at her birthday party."

"Well, yeah. It's Seonghwa." Yeosang waves at their study group sitting at the far end of the library in the loud section.

"Yeah, but, I don't know. It was different. She seemed bothered about something but she hasn't told me anything. I assume it's not a big deal."

"Hm. Well, I'm sure it's not either. Just Seonghwa being himself, maybe."

"Mm, whatever though." Yunho greets the study group as they approach the table. "She's my girlfriend now, and that won't change." Yeosang gives him a small smile before they settle with the group and begin their long study session together.

"Remember, we have a test next class. Make sure you study everything I included in the study guide. Don't skip on anything just because you think it's a minor detail! Nothing is minor!" Your professor says before dismissing the class. You let out a sigh, already stressing over the next test. You didn't do bad on the first test, but you also didn't do the greatest. Thankfully, you're still at a good point in the semester, which gives you enough time to pull your grade up.

Once the initial rush of people leaving the classroom dies down, you pack up your things and head out the door. You hurry out of the classroom and down the steps, excited to see your boyfriend after yet another long day. For a split second, the building is crowded with other students leaving their classes and heading to their next destination— whether it be the next class, the library or to their cars. It's a sudden swarm of people that you don't even realize Seonghwa had stepped out of his own class, following you down the corridor.

"Y/N." You hear Seonghwa's voice behind you. You try to mind your own business, subtly rolling your eyes as you walk out of the science building to reunite with Yunho. 

Except, he isn't exactly there yet and Seonghwa grabs you by the wrist.

"Y/N." He repeats, turning you to face him.

"What are you doing?" You question him.

"Just a second." You let out a loud, heavy sigh. "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like you ignoring me. You haven't answered any of my texts or calls—"

"Why do I need to?" You raise a brow. "You're not actually serious, right? I have no reason to respond to you, Seonghwa. Don't you have places to be, people to see?" You pause. "Don't you realize you're a little too late? This was something I needed from you way before. I don't need it from you now."

"I know it's late, but I don't wanna give up on this."

"This? This has been done for a long time, you and I both know that. You're only worried about losing the only safety blanket you've ever had. Why can't you just move on and let me be happy?"

"Happy?" Seonghwa almost scoffs. "With him? Okay, baby." He shakes his head. "Listen. Enough of this for real. Can you please just hear me out, I'll explain and apologize properly—"

"Seonghwa, stop calling me that. What don't you understand about no?" You say almost at a whine, his hand still having a grip on the edge of your wrist. You truly don't want to entertain this, but Seonghwa almost gives you no way out, no way around his bullshit, and unfortunately, that'll be the root of everything that unfolds tonight. Yunho is happily [and eagerly] making his way down to you after the long, heavy study group session, while Yeosang decides he's gonna stay behind in order to hit the gym and get his workout in. Yunho is a few minutes late, but he knows you'll still flash him that beautiful, million-watt smile he adores so much before wrapping your arms around him.

He can't wait.

But, Yunho slows in his steps just as he's close to the front doors; familiar voices filling the surprisingly empty, quiet space.  It's you, and he already feels himself boiling with anger when he hears who else is occupying your time right now.

"Why haven't you even said anything about the flowers and the card I gave you? Did you even get them?" Yunho overhears Seonghwa ask you, and he furrows his brows. What flowers and card? You don't answer right away, and Seonghwa is quick to follow up. Yunho doesn't even get to hear your response about it and the most upsetting part of all this— is that this is how he finds out about everything.

Not from you, but from Seonghwa.

"You couldn't even send me a text? I was worried you didn't get it. I wanted to talk to you afterwards."

"What is there to talk about?"

"Yeah, what is there to talk about?" You and Seonghwa turn towards Yunho, who stands there with his hands dug deep into his pockets. His jaw is slightly clenched, head titled to the side while he waits for a response. Seonghwa lets out a pathetic chuckle, hand slipping down your wrist as he fully faces him.

"Loverboy sounds upset over a little talk."

"A little talk? Is that an add-on for the flowers and card you sent her?" Yunho sounds more stern, more angry. You can't even blame him, but at the same time, it's unusual for you to hear him this way. You're not sure what could come out of this and you don't necessarily want to find out.

"I'm sorry, should I have sent you some, too?" Seonghwa steps closer to him and the panic starts to settle in for you. You wish someone, anyone, was around to help. Because although you don't think Yunho will let this blow out of proportion, you aren't 100% about your answer. You're not sure how Yunho manages his anger in these situations and you're not sure what triggers him; what tips him over the edge and is the 'cherry on top.' Seonghwa has always rubbed him the wrong way and you don't think this could end remotely pretty. "I'll take note of that for next time so you don't have to sit there and stare at Y/N's."

How you wish Seonghwa had just gotten the point. Why couldn't he just let you be? Why was he out to ruin your happiness so badly?

"Seonghwa. This is done. Let it go." You warn him, but it doesn't clear anything. You aren't getting through to any of them.

"Back up. I'm not asking." Yunho clenches his jaw as he comes face to face with Seonghwa, making him give off a small scoff.

"Aw. Loverboy's mad—" And that's exactly the tipping point for Yunho. He's not sure why, he usually has a lot of patience. He usually brushes things off easily, doesn't hold a grudge or stay angry for long. But, Seonghwa? He was a different story, especially because of the history you have with him. Every little thing about Seonghwa pisses him off— down to the way he moves, breathes, acts like he can always get his way so easily, so quickly. Before he can even think about the consequences, or how you'd feel, Yunho swings at him, making Seonghwa stumble backwards. 

"Yunho!—" You gasp, Yunho's initial punch is pretty rough that it had Seonghwa in shock before being able to register what just happened.

"Fuck you—" Is all Seonghwa spits out before going at Yunho. The two continue to go at it, pushing and gripping at each other's shirts, rough attempts at landing punches;

They're almost successful with tearing each other's heads off until you step in between and get involved.

"Stop!" You step in between to try and prevent the fight from escalating even more. "Stop it!" You push Seonghwa back when he tries coming for Yunho, a campus security guard dashing towards all of you to completely break up the scuffle.

"Knock it off! The hell are you two doing acting like this on campus? I suggest you two part ways now before we call the cops over!"

"Yo, what the fuck?!" Mingi comes from around the corner, grabbing at Seonghwa's arm to pull him back. "The fuck are you doing, dude?" He looks at his bestfriend in disbelief.

"Why don't you ask your friend who fucking started it—"

"Me?" Yunho spits, while Seonghwa wipes the blood at the corner of his lip. "I wouldn't have had to if you just knew how to back the fuck off!" Yunho is angry, continuing to raise his voice. "Let me catch you sending shit to my girlfriend one more time and see what the fuck I'll do—" 

"Yunho." You say softly, tugging back at his arm.

"Are you serious?" Mingi looks at Seonghwa. "You don't go messing around with people's relationships, Hwa. You need to let this go, you look crazy!" 

"Oh, so all of a sudden you're sticking up for your friend?"

"Yeah, because he is my friend and it's just shit you don't do! What the fuck don't you understand about that?! You fucking deserved that shit!" Mingi shakes his head before pushing Hwa forward, pulling him off to the side to continue talking to him. 

"Babe." You turn to Yunho after Mingi and Seonghwa create good distance, hand coming up to cup Yunho's cheek. But, he turns, slightly shaking his head at you. You pull your hand back and feel your heart drop, the look in Yunho's eyes being one that you've never experienced before.

Sadness, hurt, anger. 

Mostly sadness, hurt.

"What flowers was he talking about, Y/N?" His chest is still rising at a somewhat uneven pace, doing his best to calm down after the adrenaline rush.

"H-he left them at my doorstep after we came back from the snow. I'm really sorry, Yunho, I didn't tell you because I tossed it out and—"

"But still, it's the fact that you didn't tell me after all this time." Yunho's brows are tightly knitted together, and the look causes your heart to sink even deeper. "Why did you have to let me find out this way? Were you going to tell me about this too if I hadn't come right away?"

"I just didn't get around to telling you because I didn't think it would matter— Seonghwa doesn't matter."

"If he didn't, then wouldn't you be able to tell me without questioning it so much?"

"Yunho, no. I'm sorry, no." You repeat, tears pricking your eye lids. "I didn't mean for it to seem like that. I really didn't mean to hide this from you."

"Did you think about keeping them?"

"I—I, no. I thought—" Yunho hears you stuttering and his throat suddenly feels dry. Why can't you just tell him? Even if Seonghwa didn't matter to you, why couldn't you trust him enough to tell him? 

Why couldn't you feel comfortable enough to tell him?

"Be honest with me, Y/N. That's all I've ever asked. Did you or did you not think about it keeping it?" Silence. And god, it is the most gut-wrenching silence Yunho has ever endured.

Yup. Got it. 

The answer is clear.

You did think about Seonghwa. You thought about accepting the flowers as his apology, you thought about the possibility— even if it was for a brief, splitting second. Seonghwa did matter for one fucking second, and that's what bothers him.

"Yunho, please. I just thought—" You can barely get through your sentences.

"Did you, or did you not?"

"I thought about keeping it, but it was so stupid. I was just blinded for a second, and I realized it didn't matter to me. He doesn't matter to me. At all. I promise. Everything just caught me off guard." You try to grab for his hand but he steps back. "Yunho, it was all stupid. I tossed it out so quickly. I wasn't going to do anything, I wasn't going to text, nothing."

"But, why does it feel like after everything he's put you through, you still believe he'd genuinely change? Why does it feel like a part of you is still actually holding onto that?" Well, when Yunho says it to your face like that, you feel dumb. Not once did you ever think about running back to Seonghwa and leaving this behind. But, you were blinded in that quick second from your history with Hwa, being close and sharing moments for months. Asking Seonghwa for little gestures like this, for more attention; even though it was a ride, you still had history.

And yes, maybe at one point you wanted to be the girl that changed him.

But today, you can't even imagine going back to that point. Not after being with Yunho, not after the happiness he's brought you.

Not after you realize how much you genuinely and truly love Yunho. 

You don't wanna lose him.

This is all so stupid, and a huge misunderstanding. But, you're the only person to blame here— if you hadn't given Seonghwa the time of day, if you had just told Yunho right away without second-guessing it, if you hadn't hesitated; you wouldn't be here right now.

"I'm not!" Your tone raises and it sounds like a whine at this point. "I'm not, Yunho. Please."

"Look, tonight was a lot." He sighs, running his hand through his hair before wincing and looking down at his knuckles. "I was excited to see you after a long day, Y/N. I was really looking forward to being with you. I wasn't expecting all of this and honestly, I don't know what's worse? Stumbling upon all of this the way I did, or not knowing at all."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was stupid and fucked up of me, and I'm sorry." You repeat, tears streaming down your cheeks.

"Maybe you just need to think about what you really want." Yunho shrugs. "I thought you were over the whole thing with Seonghwa, but clearly not if you're still considering on giving him the time of day."

"No, no, Yunho. Please don't. It's not that." You try to lace your hand with his, but he gently brushes it off with a shaky sigh. He doesn't wanna leave you. He never wants to be without you. But, tonight was a lot for him to handle, and it is overwhelming. He hasn't really felt this protective over someone. Of course, it's only natural since you're his girlfriend. He'll always protect you. It's just that Seonghwa brings something out of him that he doesn't necessarily like, and he wants it to be gone for good. It feels unhealthy and icky;

The anger, the frustration, the anxiety.

He hates it. And he doesn't want this to be a thing in your relationship. Plus, he still feels himself fuming with anger and he just can't possibly talk to you while he feels that way.

So yes, he's overwhelmed and he needs to get over this.

"No, seriously. You really should think about it. I know where I stand but I'm not so sure you do." He lets out another disappointed sigh. "I'll take you home, but we should probably just be in our own places tonight."

"Okay." You say close to a whisper, sniffling as you wipe away at your face. You don't even try to fight it anymore simply because you know Yunho needs his space right now. He begins to walk off with you slowly trailing behind, head hung low after everything that happened tonight. Everything happened so fast you're also having to process it all on this walk over to the lot. Suddenly, you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps picking up behind you, followed by a familiar, deep voice.

"Yo, wait up!" Mingi says. "You good? I'm sorry about him, he's actually losing it."

"You're sorry? Mingi, when the fuck is your friend gonna grow up so that you're not apologizing on his behalf?" Mingi lets out a breath as his eyes dart from you, back to Yunho's. "Seriously. I don't mean to throw that your way, but it's not even just about tonight. Your friend knows no boundaries and that's crazy to me."

"I know, he's got things to sort through but that's his own problem now. I already told him multiple times. Me and San did." Mingi shakes his head.

"Doesn't take much to grow the fuck up and take ownership of your own fuck-ups once in awhile."

"Let him keep learning the hard way. He will, eventually. He deserved that tonight."

"He can try all he wants, nothing's gonna change between me and her. Hope he understands I'm not going anywhere after tonight."

"Of course." Is all Mingi could respond with because of course Yunho wouldn't go anywhere— why the fuck would he let Seonghwa get in the way? He shouldn't. And Seonghwa needs to know that. "Anyway, just wanted to see if you two were okay. For real." Yunho sighs.

"Mmyeah. Thanks." He responds as Mingi daps it up. "We're just gonna head home."

"Drive safely. Text me if you need me." Mingi gives you a small smile before running off to tend to his friends, San now also getting dragged into all his mess. 

The walk over is quiet, but Yunho still opens the passenger door for you when you finally get to his car. You hate the silence that falls between you two, but you understand Yunho is upset and needs his own time away from everything, from you, even. You can't help but cry even more into your hands when he pulls into the apartment lot, Yunho letting out a breath as he puts the car in park. He looks over at you and his heart breaks because he truly hates to see you cry, and he never wants to be the reason behind you being sad or hurt.

"Hey. Don't." He says softly, hands coming up to pry your own hands away from your face. He gently wipes the tears away, making sure no drop is missed. 

"I'm sorry, Yuyu." You repeat.

"I know, it's okay."  He says, even though right now, it's not.

"Is it?"

"Let's get you home, okay?" He just looks at you with a soft expression before unbuckling his seatbelt. He comes over to open your door, locking his car when you step out and slowly make your way to your apartment. When you get to the steps, you turn towards him with a small pout. Yunho pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, wiping any remaining stragglers from staining your cheeks. He's not happy, but he's trying to send you off on a calm note— hoping this could at least ease you for the night. "Get some rest."

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" He doesn't say anything before he pulls away and takes a few steps backwards. "Yunho." You call for him in that tone of yours that always makes him so weak.

"Y/N, please. I just need to shake this off. That's all. Goodnight." All you can do is simply walk away before running up the steps and into your apartment. Chaery is the only one home, cleaning her dishes after cooking a good meal for all of you to share.

"My love is home! I cooked!" She says happily, but her smile dies when she sees you set your bags down and cry into your hands. She drops everything and rushes over, throwing her arms around you while guiding you to the couch. "Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" She brushes the hair away from your face while you continue to cry. You don't respond for a bit, signaling for Chaery to just hold you and let you be.

You cry, and you cry.

Because you already miss Yunho, and you feel so dumb for overthinking the entire thing, for not being honest with him. It was a stupid mistake, but you hope Yunho knows you truly weren't out to hurt him. 

You hope he can forgive you and move past this— with you, together.

Because today and so on, he's all you want. You love Yunho, and there's no one else that completes you the way that he does.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunhotteokkk @yungigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi @idfkeddieishot @startinystay @emily505 @mgdixon @mcsalterego @cheynalexilaiho @svintsandghosts @mismatchfluffysocks

[justmeinadaze]

My Little Man (Steddie X You) (Part of HFOD and SS Universe)

A/N: I guess you guys would call this season 3? Lol. My angst hella took over as well as some feelings I've been dealing with lately.

Enjoy please <3.

Part of this Universe

Warnings: Demon Steddie & Human Fem Reader, No SMUT in this one, FLUFF, they love each other and their son. Demon Steddie is navigating how to be human while taking care of a pregnant Y/N.

ANGST: More or less the normal level of angst that comes with this series. The theme is grief and PTSD (from a soldiers perspective). Y/N is still struggling with the notion of her parents not being there to see Ellis grow up and the guys (especially Steve) is struggling with being raised how they were and taught to fight. Eddie struggles with feelings of enabling because of everything they went through.

The dreams probably have the most feels. They talk to their loved ones and Ellis says goodbye. Steve has nightmares that involve his dad being a dick (of course) and something that happens within one angers Eddie (blood briefly mentioned).

Word Count: 6398

"Don't you know I love you more than life itself Don't you know that you're my pride And I would not have you walking through this world Without me by your side

Go to sleep my little man Don't you weep my little man"

3 Months Pregnant

Steve sits on the bench outside of the library he had just exited from, sighing heavily as he closed his eyes and threw his head back.

Ever since the three of you got home, he and Eddie had been doing research on which human job they would best be suited for in your realm but were struggling to find much of anything. For him, it was even more difficult since he was raised to be a solider. He genuinely didn’t know how to do anything else and it didn’t help that even though you explained a lot of human behavior, he still felt slightly ignorant with many things. 

“May I sit?” The demon jumped at the sound of a gravelly voice beside him. “Oh, shit. Sorry, son. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s alright. Um, please.”, he gestures towards the area beside him causing the man to flash him a thankful grin as he takes a seat. 

“How long?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I asked how long. I know the look of a fellow veteran trying to figure out how to adapt to a civilian lifestyle. How long has it been since you saw combat?”

“Oh, uh, it’s…it’s been a few years. But I did it the bulk of my life.”

“I can imagine with you being so young. I bet one of your parents was a solider as well?”

“Wow. Yeah, that’s amazing. How did you…?”

“I told you, son. I know the look.”, the man chuckles as he extends his hand. “Truman Duvall; Ex Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Army.”

“Steven Harrington. Um, Sergeant in the US Army. Well, Ex.”, Steve laughs nervously as he hopes his memory of things he’s learned about humans in the past is still up to date.

“Nice to meet you. If I may ask, what were you thinking so hard about specifically?”

“My girlfriend is pregnant and I’m trying to find a job so I can help support my family. I want my son to have a better life then I did but I have no idea where to start.”

“Congratulations on the little bundle! I have four myself, two of them grown and out of the house already. My wife pretends like she’s glad they’re out but she misses them.”, he laughs. “I don’t know if you would be willing but down the street here, we have a recreation center where veterans go to relax and let loose. They’ve been looking for a counselor to lead the group therapy. I think you’d be a good fit.”

“Yeah? Um, I guess I could…”

“Look, you don’t even have to make a decision right now. Why don’t meet me there tonight? We’re having a little party get together thing. Of course, you can bring the girlfriend and you both can meet the person in charge. See if you feel comfortable.”

“O-Ok. I, um…” Steve pauses as he debates on if he should tell the truth about Eddie. That was a fight they had when it came to going home. He had been afraid that they would have to hide their relationship and he never wanted to hide or be hidden when it came to the man he loved. But this is also where he wanted to raise his son and he didn’t want to cause a commotion before you four even had a chance to settle in. What would Eddie do?

“Can I bring my boyfriend as well? He’s a veteran to. We actually met during our tour.”

Truman’s mouth pouted out ever so slightly as his eyebrows lifted in surprise. 

“Oh, um, sure! The more the merrier.”

***

“Steven, oh my God, that’s amazing!”, you exclaim as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Hang on, now. I don’t have a job yet but…”

“Don’t sell yourself short, bud.”, Eddie grins from his place on the kitchen counter. 

“I hope it’s ok that I kind of…announced…our relationship. We actually didn’t talk about what we wanted to do but I know if we had stayed in our realm I’d want to be honest.”

The long-haired demon opened his arms and Steve promptly placed himself between his legs with his back against his chest while Eddie rested his chin on his shoulder. 

“I’m glad you did. I love you and I’m not hiding that.”

“Me either.”, you smiled as they beamed right back. 

Suddenly, the happiness drains from your face before you turn and bolt towards the bathroom. You three had been home for a couple of months and within the past week some of the normal symptoms of pregnancy began springing up such as the morning sickness you were currently experiencing. 

“It’s alright, baby. Get it all out.”, Eddie tries to sooth as he holds your hair into a makeshift ponytail. As soon as you were finished, you fell back into his arms and thanked Steve when he handed you a bottle of water. 

“This is normal, right? Humans get nauseas like this.”, he asked. 

“Yeah, honey. It’s normal. I’m alright. I think I’m going to take a nap so I can be 100% for tonight.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to go.”

“No, Steve, I want to go. I want to see where you’ll be and the people you’ll be around.”

################

“Steve! You made it.”, Truman shouts excitedly as he reaches out to shake the boy’s hand. “You must be the girlfriend.”

“Hi. I’m Y/N.”

“Y/N. What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman and this is your…boyfriend? Right, son?”

“Yes, sir. This is Edward.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Steve said you’re a veteran as well. Were you a sergeant like himself?”

“Oh, uh, no. I was more of a private I guess you’d say. But we spent a lot of time together especially on the battlefield.”

“Wow and for you two to still be so close and find a relationship through all that chaos! That’s amazing. I always tell my wife if she met me during my tour she would have hated me. A lot of civilians don’t understand the headspace you have to fall into to do what we have to do.”

Both demon’s nod in understanding and you can’t help but softly smile as you watch them interact with the other people around them. Steve was definitely in his element and you could tell in some way he felt more comfortable in this setting because he was around beings who seemed to understand what they both went through. As his new friend spoke, his eyes remained intense and focused as he absorbed everything he said. 

Eddie excused himself to grab some drinks but became distracted talking to another couple and began to laugh at something they were saying. The first time you met him he expressed a particular distain for humans but he seemed to open up more since they were freed, finding something interesting in each person he interacted with. 

“Hey, this is my girlfriend Y/N.”, he introduces when you walk over to check on him. “Y/N, this is Lisa and Shawn Bennett. Lisa did a tour in the Air Force flying jets and Shawn was a DJ overseas.”

“Oh wow. For the military or just on your own?”

“For the military. I’m kind of like that Cronauer guy they made the movie about. I read the reports and played music I thought would lift the troops spirits.”, the man explains. 

“Kind of like me.”, Eddie whispers in your ear making you smile. “What do you two do now if I may ask? Steve and I have been searching for employment but we have no idea what would fit us.”

“Well, I actually own a store of my own selling books and comics; things like that. I’m a bit of a nerd.”, Lisa laughs. 

“And I teach media and music courses at the local community college up here.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun actually. Are they looking for another music teacher because Eddie is an amazing musician.”

“Yeah? Unfortunately, they aren’t but you should consider maybe starting your own business as well. You can teach kids to play guitar or any other instruments you know and you can do it from your house or maybe the music store downtown is hiring.”

“Are you looking for a job to, Y/N? I’m trying to hire someone to help me with my shop.”, Lisa offers with a smile. 

“Oh, I’d love that. I’m, uh, I’m actually pregnant though and I wouldn’t want to leave you stranded after you just hired me.”

“That’s fantastic! Don’t even worry about it. You don’t seem very far along yet. I can teach you the ropes before you give birth and that way when you come back, you’ll already know what to do!”

As you glance at Eddie, his eyes widen with encouragement as he nods his head. 

“Ok, I’d love to work for you.”

Lisa claps and gives you a big hug as your demon beams behind you.

***

“Hello fellow veterans, spouses, and partners! Glad you could all join us tonight. I hope you are having some much needed fun! I do have just a quick announcement to make. I would like to introduce you to Steven Harrington who is new to Hawkins and after speaking with him I feel like he will be a great addition to our center here as the group counselor.” The man at the podium smiles as he gestures towards the demon and everyone around the room claps. “Steve, why don’t you introduce yourself?”

When he hesitates, you gently push him forward, urging him softly before he relents and nervously climbs up the makeshift stage. 

“Um, hi. Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve been seen by so many people.” The people chuckle as you and Eddie grin knowingly. “Like Thomas said, I’m, uh, new to Hawkins but my girlfriend is from here and my partner and I thought it would be better for her to be back home where she felt safe with her family so we can start raising our own. I-I-I…shit I used to better at this.”, he chuckles before glancing your way, your gentle smile comforting him. 

“I was raised in a military household. My dad was a solider so that’s what I was expected to be. As soon as I was able, he handed me a weapon and commanded I train to be the best. There was no wiggle room there. It was all or nothing. When I saw war…I shut down and did what I had to. I took no pleasure in killing, contrary to popular belief.”

“The worst part about shutting down that way was how it flowed into my every day. I was as an asshole to everyone including women I dated and people I trained… except for some of the people closest to me…Robin, Chrissy, and Eddie. When Edward and I got out…I felt so out of control…so lost. I lost my identity and everything I knew. If I didn’t have him by my side… Then we met Y/N and without her we literally wouldn’t be here today.”

Steve paused, looking out into the crowd, and realizing he may be talking too much. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Thank you so much for this opportunity and I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

The people in the room clap as he steps off the stage and you immediately wrap your arms around his waist as Eddie lightly caresses his cheek. 

***

4 Months Pregnant

You beam at Eddie as he softly strums his instrument. That day after Shawn suggested it, he went down to the music store in town and applied for the job as a guitar instructor. After playing and showing off for them he got the job. He loved hearing the kids try and play reminding him of the children he watched over with Steve during their war. 

Today was everyone’s day off so they were being lazy in bed with you in your pajamas and both demons in nothing but their sweats. 

“Ok, this thing here says for humans you should be feeling him move around now.”, Steve announced as he gestured towards the book he was reading. 

“I haven’t felt him move yet unless the occasional nausea is him saying hello.”, you giggle. Leaning over him, you grab his hand and place it on the middle of your stomach. “Talk to him.”

“Uh, I…hey, Ellis. It’s, um, your daddy. I’m not scaring him with my voice, right?”

“No, baby.”, you grin as you pet his head. “This is how he’ll get used to it though. Hearing and seeing you both in your demon form.”

“Buddy, you have no reason to be afraid of us in any form. I’m sorry your dads aren’t as beautiful as you and your mom but—”

“Hey, speak for yourself.”, Eddie teases making you laugh. “I’m a sexy motherfucker.”

“Oh.”

“What?”, Steve’s eyes shift up excitedly. 

“You didn’t feel that?”

When he shakes his head, you place his hand closer to the side you felt movement, gesturing for the other demon to do the same.

“Say something else.”

“Hey Ellis. This is your other daddy and I assure you we are very handsome.”

“Holy shit.”, Steve exhales as he grins up towards his partner. “That’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you agree, kid.”, Eddie smiles.

***

6 Months Pregnant

Eddie growls at the crib he was trying to assemble as his glowing red eyes glare at the instructions again. Over these past couple of months, you three had made your dad’s old room your bedroom and begun shifting the room you used to sleep in into Ellis’s. 

Going off his personality from your dreams, you painted the room blue with images of guitars along the base boards and up along the ridges of the ceiling. Near where his crib would be, you put up pictures of everyone in his family that loved him including Robin, Wayne, Dustin, and everyone who had passed that he had been conversing with these past six months. 

The boys were able to get everything a baby would need from your realm but also from theirs including those books that Eddie had wrote and some toys demons normally played with at a young age. 

“Whoever invented these contraptions should be tortured for eternity.”, Eddie grunted as he tried again putting a few of the pieces together. 

“You guys don’t have cribs in your realm?” 

“Yeah but they were like boxes essentially. Or at least mine was. I’m sure Steven had gold porcelain or some shit.”

“No.”, Steve chuckled as he took the wrong part from his partner’s hand and handed him the correct one. “I had a regular little wooden thing with soft blankets.”

“I wish I could see what you two were like as kids.”

Since they left Maeve, they weren’t able to snap memories into your head like they were before. It hurt them more than you because you always seemed curious about them and they wished they could show you everything from their point of view, not Henry’s or Mirage’s. 

“How much did Mirage show you?”

“She showed me big events more than anything. Steve always looking for his parents especially your mom. She did play sword fight with you once and you looked so happy until your dad yelled at her for ‘ruining your training’.” You rolled your eyes as Steve pet your head and sighed. “Eddie, I did see what your uncle told me about with your mom singing to you.” The demon’s glow receded in his eyes as he glanced your way with a small smile. 

“Until my father told her to shut up?”

Tilting forward, you crawled over his work to kiss his lips making his smile widen as he caressed your face. 

“What about your parents, honey?”

“Both my parents were amazing. My dad always loved to make us laugh. He liked being a girl dad and my mom exploited that.”, you giggle. “She would make him wear tutus while I would do his makeup and they both would dance.”

A tear left your eyes and both demons promptly gave you their attention. 

“I’m sorry you guys don’t have your parents here. You both deserve better.”

“Baby, it’s ok—”

“Eddie it’s not okay.”

“Will you let me finish?”, he jokes. “It’s ok because I had my mom and I had Wayne. Then as I got older I got my other family. Steven, Robin, Chrissy, and even Dustin. Now, sweetheart, I have you two and Ellis. I couldn’t be happier.”

“I agree. I’m thankful for the memories I do have with my mom but the kids I trained and beings I fought with…that was my family. I’m so excited to see what’s in store for us, you know. See what Ellis is going to do with his life.”

You smiled as you kissed their lips before you wince and lean away. 

“Ow. Little butthead is kicking my side.”

“Hey, kid.”, Eddie teases as he tilts towards your tummy. “Why don’t you stop hurting your mother and come help me make your torture technic of a crib.”

###############

8 months Pregnant

You, Steve, and Eddie walked into the house you three had been in so many times these last few months except now it was completely empty. All the furniture and everything was completely absent as you entered the living room full of people.

“Ellis?”

Everyone in the room moved out of the way to where Eddie’s mom was hugging her grandson to her chest as he sobbed. 

“I don wanna go!”

“You have to, baby. Your mommy and daddies need you now. They’ve been waiting so long to see you.”

“Mom?”, Eddie asked as he stepped towards her. “What’s going on?”

She softly smiled as she handed him to your father who spun him around as he chuckled but your son just buried his face further in his neck. 

“Come on, little guy. Your parents have made you an awesome bedroom and knowing my daughter she’s going to show you so many amazing things.”

The little boy shook his head as your dad kissed his temple before handing him to your mom. 

“Steven, remember, you once told me that everything would be ok and you were right. I’ve watched you both take care of my baby and I assure you, you both are going to be more than ok. You are going to be amazing parents.”

He beamed at him as he wrapped his arms around the demon and pulled him in for a hug. 

Your mother grinned as she reached out to touch your face as you started to cry. 

“I’m scared to do this without you.”, you whisper. 

Your parent’s smiles widen as she kisses her grandson and places him in your arms. 

“We’re not going anywhere. We’re always right here.”, she soothes as she points to Ellis’s forehead. “Right behind that door, honey.”

“I love you.”, you son coos as each grandparent reciprocates his affection. 

As both your demons come to your side, you look down to no longer see a toddler but a newborn baby wiggling in your arms. Steve gently pets his head as Eddie reaches for his tiny hand that immediately clings to his finger. 

All of your eyes shoot open but yours is followed by a grunt as you place your hands on your stomach. 

“Fuck! I think…”

They don’t waste any time as they collect you and your things before rushing towards the hospital. 

***

“How long are they going to keep him back there?”, Eddie growled as he held your hand.

“Calm down. Y/N said this was normal. They need to clean him, check his vitals, and all that.”

“Yeah, but Steven, what if something comes up in those vitals that frightens a human.”

The other demon’s eyes flash red in warning in his direction as a low rumble leaves his chest. 

“Maybe we should have had him in your realm.”, you respond groggily as your heavy eyes shift their way. 

“Baby, don’t let Edward scare you, ok? He’s fine. He’s got more human in him right now than anything. Dustin said he would grow into his demon parts.”

“He also said we’re the first couple ever to do this so…”

“Edward Munson, I swear—“, Steve’s anger was cut short when the door to your hospital room opened and a nurse casually sauntered in.

“Hey Munson-Harrington family.”, she smiles. “We have little Ellis here fast asleep and everything looks good. Mommy, how are you feeling?”

“Like I gave birth.” The nurse laughs at your joke as your demons roll their eyes. “I’m alright. A bit exhausted.”

“Yeah, that’s normal, sweetheart. Good news is your baby is in perfect health. Would you like to meet him?” Your eyes fully open as you sit up, smiling softly when she places him in your arms.  “I’ll come check on you three in a bit.”

Tears start to fall as you fully take him in. Right now, he seemed like a completely normal child with soft skin and just a sliver of brown hair poking out of his blue beanie. 

“Hey, honey. You’re so handsome. I’m your mommy.”, you coo in a whisper as you kiss his forehead. “Oh my god, he smells so good.”, you laugh as you look their way. 

Eddie was the first to step forward, sitting beside you on the bed as he caressed his son’s chubby little cheek with his finger. 

“Holy shit. He’s so soft.”, he breathes. “You’re perfect, kid.”

Steve finally takes a seat as well and reaches out to feel his tiny hand. 

“He’s warm to. Is that normal?” When you nod, he almost breathes a sigh of relief. “Ellis, we’re your daddies. You ARE perfect, oh my god.”

The baby squirms a bit in your hold giving them pause before pulling away. 

“I think that was his way of saying thank you.”, you smile. 

###########

3 Weeks Old

“Fascinating.”, Dustin muses as he rocks Ellis in his arms while swaying around the living room. “He really does look just like a little human with the soft skin and everything. Nothing has stood out?”

“Can you stop analyzing our baby and just enjoy him?”, Eddie snaps as he sighs. 

“No, nothing.”, you giggle, answering his question. “And so far he seems to eat but not as much as normal babies.”

“How so?”

“Babies are supposed to eat every two hours; we’ve been feeding him every six. I was worried at first but we just took him the doctor and she said he was healthy. When I tried to give him a bottle every two he would cry and push at my hands.”

“Interesting. That has to be hard, Y/N. Him not being able to verbally tell you things like that. I hated when my kids cried in general but you…you still have that whole trial and error thing going.”

Glancing towards your demons, Eddie had fallen asleep with his head nestled in Steve’s lap on the couch who was already napping when Dustin arrived. 

“It is. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us though and I know they do to. I’ve been keeping a record like you suggested should this ever happen for anyone else.”

“Good.” When he notices your gaze shift again, he takes a seat on the floor beside you and lays Ellis on the blanket between you both. “Everything ok with you three?”

“Yeah, I’m just a little worried. They were both already so protective over me and now that he’s here… Steve’s been having nightmares. He pretends he doesn’t but I hear him groaning in his sleep and feel him wake up. I asked him the other night if he still has access to my dreams and he said he can’t find the door anymore.”

A tear fell down your check as Dustin reached out to comfort you. 

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Eddie’s attitude has been a lot shorter lately. He’s exhausted and worried about the three of us. He triple checks everything to the point that I find him asleep on the floor by Ellis’s crib because he’s too tired to make it back to our bed and would just rather be closer to his son just in case.”

“What about you? Besides the worry I mean.”

“I know I’m probably being paranoid but sometimes I feel like we’re being watched. It may just be because of our dynamic. I know not everyone is excepting like the new friends we’ve made but no one has said anything… I don’t know. Just…mom brain maybe.”

“Hm, maybe. Keep an eye on that. From what you’ve told me, you’re always pretty intuitive. Wouldn’t want to miss something you know?”

#########

5 Weeks Old

“Oh my god, Y/N, look at him.”, Lisa coos at Ellis as she holds him in her arms. 

“Are you alright, Steve? You look like you haven’t slept.”, Shawn chuckles. 

“Yeah, I’m doing alright. Just…little guy keeping me up.”, he forces a smile. 

Your friends were having a get together for veterans and their families and since Steve worked at the center you suggested you three should go and be seen. Truthfully, you thought it would be good for them both to get out of the house as well as having him specifically spend some time with his new veteran friends to talk about anything that may be weighing on his mind causing his nightmares.

As the night wore on you noticed their soft grins return to their faces as he and Eddie mingled with the people around them. They radiated warmth as they talked about their son and everything he had done with his short little life so far.

“Have you guys started baby proofing yet? I swear when my daughter started crawling it was like she knew which areas were the bad ones!”

“Oh no, not yet. He did smile at Y/N the other day. Ellis has a beautiful little grin.”, Steve boasts.

“At that age usually it’s just reflexive. They see you guys smiling so…”

“Isn’t that all babies though? Like that’s how they learn?”, Eddie genuinely asks as the dads around him laugh. 

“Yeah but who knows some babies are different! You may just have an extremely happy baby who couldn’t wait to show you guys how much he loves being here.”

Time passed and a few of the guests left, leaving the main few that you had really gotten to know. You all sat in the living room while Eddie patted his son’s back as Ellis slept soundly. Steve tenderly petted the baby’s head as you beamed at them from your place in the chair across from them. 

“So how has everything else been going?”, Thomas asks as he chugs back some of the beer in his bottle. 

“Everything has been good, man. Just focusing on them, ya know?”

“Yeah, I understand. When my son was born, that first night I checked on him every hour on the hour. Then for some reason I kept checking on my wife. I knew our son needed us both and I kept thinking ‘What if something happened to either of us?’”

“I can understand that. I, uh, before Y/N and Steve, I lost a lot of people I loved and there was nothing I could do. Now that Ellis is here…it would kill me if anything ever happened to him.”

“Do you have nightmares about it? About losing them?”

“I don’t but Stevie here does.”, Eddie answers causing Steve to toss a glare his way. 

“I do but it’s fine. It’s not a big deal.”

“I had them to. Sometimes I would dream they were on the battlefield I fought in. I would run to them but I could never quite reach them.”, Thomas sighs at the memory. “What do you dream about?”

“It’s fine really.”

You’re not sure if anyone else heard but you and Eddie did as the demon’s voice fluctuated to his real one for a split second.

“Steven…”

“It’s ok, Y/N. Like I said, I get it. If you talk about it, it gives it validity right? You’d hate to manifest something like that into existence. Someone killing Y/N and your son.”

Steve’s eyes closed as his head ticked to the side. 

“Ok, Tom, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m putting my foot down. You’re going to push him too far and he’s already got enough on his mind.”, Eddie defended rising to his feet and handing you the baby. 

“Ah, you’re the enabler I imagine. You allow him to shelter his feelings so he doesn’t have to deal with them.”

“You’re damn right I do. You humans have no idea what we’ve been through!”

“Interesting word choice. Is that how you separate people from your experiences?”

“Come on, guys, let’s head home.” As the long-haired demon grabbed his boyfriend’s arm, he remained frozen in place. Kneeling in front of him, he cupped his face in his hands. “Steven, it’s ok alright. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. Let’s go home and get some sleep, huh?”

When the demon finally opened his eyes, Eddie’s widen in fear; he knew this look all too well. As subtly as he could, he got to his feet and towards the front door with you trailing after him. 

“Steven—”

Once the wind of the outside hit your faces, he expanded his wings, cutting you off as he vanished into the air.

***

“Edward, baby, are you ok?”

Eddie nodded from his place on the floor next Ellis who was sleeping soundly beside him. After laying down as well, he softly smiles your way as he continues caressing the baby’s open hand. 

“DO I enable him, Y/N?”

“Eddie…”

“I just…we went through so much… Every day I had to watch the man I love breakdown. Even when we were out, summoners never treated us with any kind of respect. They knew we wouldn’t be there for long. In our realm, he was hero and with one choice, he was banished and imprisoned…because of me.”

“No, Eddie. Everything you two went through was because of Henry. He killed Chrissy and framed you. Jason didn’t give Steve much of a choice. He was going to disobey orders and hurt you.”

“I always tried to make it up to him… I tried not to show my feelings, pretending I didn’t care we were trapped. Pretending I wasn’t scared and just as angry as he was. I’ve done that my whole life, Y/N. When my mom got sick, I did everything I could to make her laugh so she wouldn’t see how devastated I was. Every time my father came home upset, I acted like I was tough but I was fucking terrified, baby. I was so scared.”

A tear fell from his eye and your immediately wiped it away with your thumb.

“When he fled, I was afraid for my uncle. I didn’t even think twice when I signed up but I was positive I wouldn’t last a month out there on the battlefield. Steven and Robin helped me become a better fighter. With Chris I pretended to be more together than I was. She had enough on her plate at the time and I wanted her to feel safe.”

“It seems like that’s why you pretend, Eddie, so the people you love feel safe.”

Sitting up, he started to cry harder and you immediately crawled to him, curling up in his lap as you held him in your arms. 

The sound you recognized as a portal opening grabbed both your attention as you called Steve’s name.

“Hey, no, sorry. It’s just me. I have him here though.”, Robin answered as she came around the corner with the demon leaning half-conscious around her shoulders. “My girlfriend sent me a message saying he was there at the bar. He had been babbling about how human drinks aren’t strong enough and something about you two and Ellis.”

After leading her to the bedroom, she gently placed Steve onto the mattress. When Eddie entered the room, she smiled when she saw your son’s wide eyes looking back at her.

“He woke up.”, the demon announced as Ellis yawned to emphasis his point. 

“You need to let your parents get some rest, booger.”, Robin coos as she pokes his nose making him smile. 

“Some of our friends said for human babies around this time smiles like that are a reflex.”

“Yeah but he’s not entirely human and that beautiful, drool filled grin didn’t seem reflexive.”, she responded. “It seems like he can handle the demon skin since he’s letting us touch him.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the potion.”, you nod as you reach out to tickle the baby’s chin. “Thank you for bringing Steve back, Robin.”

Softly smiling, she leans down to kiss your forehead.

“Seriously, you and Ellis are so soft—”

“Ay yi, ma’am. This human is ours.”, Eddie playfully scolds as he swats his hand in her direction. 

***

Loud banging and clinking echoes behind the door you’re looking at as smoke occasionally slips through the seams. Taking a long exhale, you reach for the handle but someone tapping your shoulder startles you as you turn and smack the person’s face. 

“Ow! Jesus woman. How many times are you going to pop me?!”, Eddie whines as he rubs his cheek. 

“Edward, how did you—”

“I don’t know. I’ve been looking for the door for months. Maybe you finally calmed me down enough to know what I’m looking for.” Nodding, you kiss his lips. “So what’s the plan?”

“I think…this is Steve’s door. I don’t know. I’ve been trying to access his dreams but I haven’t been able to.”

Holding your hand, he carefully turns the knob and you both step through. Glancing down at his attire, Eddie realizes he’s suddenly in his old battle armor and you both are on the battlefield they fought on all those centuries ago. 

“Why am I not in armor?”

“I mean, you weren’t there, baby.”

“What the fuck are you two doing here?!”, Steve’s father shrieks above you as he lands on his feet. “Leave. NOW. My son needs to learn his lesson.”

“YOU’VE been giving him his nightmares?”, you growl.

“Not exactly. He started having them on his own but I’ve been fueling them.”

Shifting your gaze behind him, you both watch as Steve slaughters enemy after enemy, panting as he slowly tires himself out.

“Steven! Do better! You think these fuckers are going to show mercy on your son?! You have to do what I taught you to get the truth!”

Eddie gripped Bill’s throat and angrily threw him to the ground. 

“You made your hell his hell, you fucking asshole. He told me all about you and everything you did to him. You ruined his life enough! Leave him be.”

“Please. He’s doing this to himself. He’s worried about you two peasants and that thing. I’m making him better. Stronger.”

Grabbing a sword from the ground, you lift the handle and point the other end towards his throat. 

“You heard him. Leave Steven alone or else I swear to God, Bill, I will find a way myself to keep you in hell.”

Growling under his breath, he tried to stand but you and Eddie forced him back down with your weapons. Huffing he suddenly disappeared as well as every other solider that had fallen around the other demon. 

“Ed-Edward?”, Steve panted heavily when you noticed you both there. “Y/N? What are you…? It doesn’t matter. We need to get to Ellis or else Henry’s going to kill him. We have to—”

“Baby, look at me.”, Eddie tried to soothe as he cupped his cheeks in his hands. “You’re dreaming ok? Henry is gone and Ellis is in his crib fast asleep.”

“N-No. No? I can hear him. I can hear him crying! Can’t you hear that?!”

“Steven—”

“NO!”, the demon growls loudly as he shoves the man he loves hard backwards. “Who are you?! You’re not Edward. Y-You’re…You’re trying to trick me. Are you Mirage? Did Henry and his dad hire you to stop me?!”

“Steven…”, Eddie cried with worry as he threw the sword he was holding to the ground and held up his hands. “Sweetheart, please, it’s me. I promise. I would never hurt you like that. I would never keep you from our son.”

As he tried to step forward, the other demon shoved him to the ground.

“I-I-I need to get to my son.”, Steve sobbed as his voice cracked. “I know you’re not Eddie. Tell me where he is.”

When he didn’t answer, he pulled back and pushed his weapon downward. 

The sound of your grunt filled their ears as your eyes met Steve’s wide glassy ones. When you both looked down, blood drenched his sword where it had pushed through your stomach and around your back. 

“Baby?”

Looking up at him again, you smiled through the pain as blood dripped from your lips. 

“Why…why does it hurt?”

The three of you opened your eyes at the same time as you sat up clutching your stomach. Lifting up your shirt, there was no wound but it felt so real. You could still feel the stinging pain lingering on your skin. 

Eddie’s head slowly turned meeting Steve’s still shocked expression as is mouth hung open in shock. 

“I—”

The long-haired demon’s growl cut him off as his eyes glowed bright red. 

“Take us to another realm that we can fucking damage NOW.” You didn’t say anything as Steve rose to his feet with his head hung preparing a portal for them to go through. “Stay here.”

Coming around the bed, he waited for the other demon to finish as you peeked into the world they’d be going to. It was completely baron with nothing but white as far as the eye can see. 

“Fitting.”, Eddie responded in anger as he and the other demon walked inside. 

As the portal began to close, you quickly got up and jumped through right as it disappeared. 

You knew Eddie may be mad but after what happened this wasn’t something you were going to let them handle alone. 

##############

@tlclick73 @tiannamortis @steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @eddiesguitarskills

@prettypeachsworld @nailbatanddungeon @notlempet

[littlemissclandestine]

Why I think Russell Adler is going to make a comeback in COD 2024

WARNING⚠️: Contains spoilers for Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War and Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

Disclaimer: This is all just speculation on my behalf of course. I've just tried piecing stuff together for fun because Russ is one of my fave BO characters even though he's a bitch but i need more Adler content stat. <33

Let's get into it peeps. HEAR ME OUT.

Buckle up. Gonna be one hell of a ride folks 🤪

We'll start off with some random/background info.

Russ was born on February 12th 1937 so that would make him 53/54 in the Gulf War era. This actually isn't that old because if you think about it, Woods was about to turn 51 in 1981 during the Cold War campaign. What's a few more years?

We last saw Adler in action post-campaign in Warzone 1.0 cinematics but we've been kept in the dark about Adler's whereabouts post-1984 (after being brainwashed and killing Stitch LOL).

This meanie in a beanie wasn't forgotten about, oh no. He appears in the new cinematic intros on startup for both MWII (2022) and MWIII (2023). See below:

He was also featured twice in the 20 year anniversary video for Call of Duty whereas COD Ghosts didn't even get an appearance (ouch): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL_w5HmxsPI

I personally believe Adler was a great addition to the Black Ops roster and is essentially the new Black Ops 'cover boy' now. Would be such a shame and a missed opportunity not to include a character like him in the upcoming COD. One who is morally grey, does whatever he deems necessary to get the job done - a bit like Cpt. Price in MW. Got the COD fans riled up about him brainwashing and pulling the trigger on Bell too - he's already got the spotlight in both a good and bad way.

Now, let's explore my main reasoning as to why I think Mr Shades 2.0 is most likely coming back in late 2024...

🎖️First up: Gulf War mission list 🔫

Here are some of the campaign missions that will be featured in Black Ops Gulf War. Obviously, this is subject to change, however, going off what we have, look closely...

Credit: @MWIIINTEL on Twitter/X

Safehouse guys...SAFEHOUSE. Takes you right back to Cold War, doesn't it? Ugh the potential.

🕵️ Next up: The campaign for COD 2024 will dive into the CIA's role/the Black Ops timeline 🕘

I took the following snippet from this official article.

From this, we know there will be a huge focus on the CIA and who's a CIA clandestine special officer? Mhm, you guessed it - Russell Adler.

Now, according to the events of BO2, it's evident which characters have the possibility of returning out of our original BO trio - Jason Hudson, Frank Woods and Alex Mason.

💫 Alex is presumed dead after Frank shot him so he's out the picture in '90/91 until 2025 when they canonically meet again.

🪵 Woods would be in his 60s during this time too so I'll let you decide whether that's too old for him to be in GW.

Edit: Woods got SPAS-12'd in the kneecaps on Dec 20th 1989 by Raul Menendez so uh...yeah

🧊 Hudson died on Dec 20th 1989 at the hands of Raul Menendez.

Feel free to check out this website (Call of Duty Wiki) for an outline of the events after CW to remind yourself. Here's a link to the Black Ops timeline from there.

➡️ Gulf War being a direct sequel to Cold War and what that could mean 💉

That brings me onto the rest of the safehouse crew. Since GW is a direct sequel to CW, it would make sense for some characters to carry over if possible:

We, as the player/Bell, get to choose whether Park or Lazar die (or both lovebirds) in 'End of the Line'. It's highly unlikely they'll return unless the devs make one decision canon maybe.

There could be a chance we see Sims again given his bond with Adler (Da Nang etc.), his age (late 40s in GW) and his status (alive).

That leaves the man himself, Russ. Everything from his age to the fact he's CIA and was the deuteragonist in COD 2020's campaign just makes sense for him to have at least a lil cameo or even a larger role, don't you think?

📱Finally: Hints from official posts 🔎

This post from Call of duty's official Instagram account kind of sealed the deal for me.

Oh lookie - they dropped syringe-lover's famous line in a zombies post. Why would COD just drop it so casually like that without a reason and years after CW came out? They could've said absolutely anything else but no, this was purposeful.

And that's all for this episode guys and gals!

Thank you for reading!! 🫂

Do what you will with all this information but I have concluded in my silly little brain that scarface is coming back.

How he's only in one game is beyond me. Won't get a character like him ever again. Seems like a cliché war dude at first glance but dig a little deeper into the details of the CW campaign, peel back the layers and get into his psychology and WOWZERS.

Am I delusional? Most definitely.

But the possibility he might be returning...that little bit of hope is enough for me and i won't shut up about it.

This will age horribly if he isn't in GW. Forgive me for feeding your delusions too in that case. Please?

What are your thoughts? Feel free to share them! 😊

------

EDIT: Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING 😭😭

[theapangea]

Night Out

Chapter: Boys Night Out Pt.1

Pairing/Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader, Dustin, Mike, Lucas

Summary: You and Steve have been dancing around each other for sometime now, neither of you wanting to make the first move. All your friends decide it is finally time for you both to confess your feelings.

A/N: This is just fluff stuff so a little different from what I've been posting for you little pervs lately... you know who I'm talking too lol. Ok so this series is based on those tv episodes that like everything is happening all at the same time but split into two episodes. I just love Steve in this and everyone pushing you two to be together!! Let me know what you think!!

*Also posted on AO3: Theapangea*

Part 2 | Part 3

“What about Y/N?” Dustin says out of the blue. The question was not posed to or at anyone, but definitely directed at the only boy old enough to date you.

“What about Y/N?” Steve is the first to answer, the words hanging from his lips. The room is instantly silent again as the three younger boys look between each other, quietly discussing who will speak first. Steve clearly still dumbfounded watching their interaction. 

Dustin begins to explain, this time in a more hush tone than before, not sure how Steve would take the answer, “You know…to get you out of this slump?” 

“What slump?” Steve refutes, deflecting the answer he already knows. He has been in a girl slump for sometime, no luck with Nancy or Robin or any other girl that would look his way. The only girl he hasn't tried to hit on in Hawkins is you. He wasn’t sure why. You were pretty and funny and smart but for some reason Steve couldn’t get the courage to actually ask you out. Plus you were best friends with his ex-girlfriend which didn’t help his situation. 

“We all see it, dude.” Mike added before tossing a cheese ball into the air to catch with his mouth. He misses by a mile, quickly grabbing another one to try again. Another miss.

“I don’t even know what you are talking about.” Steve leans back, propping his feet onto the coffee table. 

“We all see that you like her.” Lucas chimes in nonchalantly while flipping through the pages of a comic book.

“I do not .” Steve quickly protests. Crossing his arms, trying to deflect any proposed suspicion

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dustin whispers as he throws a cheese ball at Steve’s head. Steve tries to swat it away but it hits his cheek leaving a small mark of cheese crumble. 

“You seriously just need to ask her out already.” Lucas urged Steve. Their eyes meeting for a brief moment before Steve adverts to look at the ceiling. 

“Steve, let me give you some advice from one man to another.” Dustin begins, moving forward on the couch, “Women want a man who is going to make the first move.”

“I can’t believe you just said that to me right now,” Steve confesses, a hand wiping the embarrassment from his face. 

“He’s right,” Mike agrees, still trying to catch the ball of cheese in his mouth. Another miss.

“Have any of you actually hit puberty yet?” Steve looks at the oblivious bunch. “I can’t believe I’m hanging out with a bunch of 12-year-olds.” He huffs, slumping lower into the seat.

“We’re 14 actually.” Dustin points out.

Steve lets out another huff, “Doesn’t make it any better, Henderson.” 

“We’re right though. You need to just ask her.” Lucas repeats, this time a little more demanding. 

Steve hesitates, “Okay, say that I did like someone…but she’s friends with your ex. It’s not necessarily the best situation.” 

“Who cares?” Mike declares with the other two boys in agreement. 

“ Women . Women care.” Steve retaliates, “Women care about that kind of stuff.”

“Look, the worst thing that she is going to say no.” Mike adds, finally catching the cheese ball in his mouth, his hands shooting up in triumph.

“Yeah, you’ve gone through enough rejection that it shouldn't hurt.” Dustin teases, the cocky smile plastered on his face.

“Thank you, Dustin.” Steve tries to shake off the comment.

Dustin’s eyes widened as he gets the bright idea, “You should call her now .” 

“Yeah, go call her.” Lucas agrees, putting the comic book down on the table, gesturing towards the phone. 

“I don’t know.” Steve leans forward in the old chair, the creaking shooting through the basement.

The uproar of encouragement quickly fills the room. All three boys are trying to convince Steve that he needs to confess his feelings for you. It was overwhelming to say the least. Steve really didn’t know what to do. Does he listen to them or does he just not do anything? Maybe it was time for Steve to tell you how he feels even if it does make things awkward between you and Nancy.

He must have been in his thoughts for too long as he sees Dustin crossing the room, picking up the phone, and dialing the number. Steve frantically getting up to grab the phone before someone answers. 

“Yeah. Hi I was wondering if Y/N was home?...ok…ok…yeah I will call them then…thank you…goodnight.” The conversation ends as soon as it begins. 

“She’s not home.” He lightly bangs his head against the wall. Dustin gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, not sure what to say. 

Was this a loss? What would he even say to you if you actually picked up? He never got the feeling that you liked him. You were normally cold towards him, rarely laughing at his hilarious jokes and always the first to put him on babysitting duty. He hated that you got under his skin, he hated that he didn’t know who you actually were. Hated that he never tried to know. Silently cursing to himself how much of an idiot he has been all these years.

“Damn.” Mike trails off, wiping the snack crumbs from his face, “We should go find her.”

“We are not going to go find her,” Steve injects before anyone else, clearly unamused by Mike's idea. 

“Why not?” Dustin pleads, tugging lightly on Steve's sleeve. 

“It’s stupid." He turns toward the young boy at his side, "This isn’t some movie. What if she doesn’t even like me?” Steve tries to explain the situation at hand as simply as possible. His feelings for you were complicated, never understanding how he felt towards you and never taking the time to realize that he actually really did like you in more ways that a friend would.

“Max says that she likes you.” Steve’s ears perk up at Lucas’ comment as he shoves a handful of cheese balls into his mouth.

Rushing over quickly to Lucas side, kneeling down beside the couch, “How does Max know that?”

“Well Max said that Robin said that she and Nancy talk about you and it seems that she likes you.” Lucas explains between chewing, every other word slightly muffled by the food.

“Dude you’re in.” Dustin beams, the look of joy washes over his face. 

Maybe you do really like Steve. Maybe Dustin, Mike, and Lucas were right and he just needed to finally ask you out. But when? He had the confidence to do it now but you were nowhere to be found. What if by tomorrow he is not able to gather the courage? What if you find someone else by then? 

Steve pushes himself onto the sofa, head in his hands, trying to make sense of this situation. "We don’t even know where she is.” 

“Well, Hawkins is pretty small. There isn’t much ground to cover.” Dustin explains, reaching for his jacket. The other boys following suit, standing, wait for Steve to make the final decision. Dustin dangling his car keys out in front of Steve's face.

“Fine.” Steve rises while chuckling at their enthusiasm, snatching the keys before leading the group out of the basement into the night. 

~~~

I'll be posting Part 2 tomorrow probably (don't hold me to this deadline)

Tell me what you think as I NEED validation!! love you!

[soaps-mohawk]

RE: chapter 22

First of all, Kyle and the reader falling asleep in THAT position?! 11/10 writing. They must have been beyond exhausted to end up like that, and I can almost feel the back and leg pain.

Also, can we get a professional pedicure session with the reader and all the guys soon? A little self-care/funny moment (and probably some ticklish feet) would be perfect after all the angst. They definitely deserve it! And taking care of their omega by going to self-care appointments with her sounds adorable—like those little acts of service, such as filling her plate for her. Still hoping Simon will start doing that (or other similar acts) soon. I would just MELT.

The training scene? I’m DECEASED. SCRUMPTIOUS. There’s definitely drugs in your writing. Impatiently waiting for my next dose, but please take your time to marinate the next chapter in your wonderful brain.

Can‘t believe Simon couldn’t be late just ONE TIME? Like, PLEASE. What’s going on in his brain? (Not so subtle request for more Ghostly thoughts.) (I wouldn’t say no to Soapy or Gazy or Pricey thoughts either—I just want to dig into all their brains and soak up everything. How did they all feel when the reader and Simon came into the mess? No jealousy at all? Not even Price? Any reactions from other people that the reader missed but they noticed?)

Anywaysss - Back to the topic: Ghost definitely knows what he did, right? There’s no way he doesn’t notice her scent when walking to the mess, especially after inhaling it so directly from her neck for what felt like quite some time. You can't tell me he didn’t get a little drunk off it (as Price later mentions, "a mixture someone could get drunk off of"), but apparently not drunk enough to be just A LITTLE LATE. UGH. WHY?? (You’re torturing us!) (Price ignoring his alarm made up for it slightly (also him being in charge so he can be late without consequence, YES), but pleaseeee gimme more Simon pls pls pls)

The last scene? Straight out of a movie. Heavy pouring rain, unsaid feelings, the angst. Loved it, hated it, need more.

He’s so straightforward and quick with how he’s telling her and just leaving right after, not wasting a second. Painful, but it makes me wonder if he’s almost "fleeing" to avoid dragging it out and making it harder on the reader—or even himself. Maybe he’s trying to just focus on doing his job and coming back as soon as possible?

And then the reader trudging back, soaked and miserable, with Johnny holding the door open…he definitely saw the tears, right? Even though her skin was already wet from the rain. Plus, the reader was probably giving off some scent of sadness. So hiding the tears wouldn’t really do much. What happens after??? And when will she finally tell SOMEONE about the cameras that were in her room?

Can you tell I live for this story?

💚

Aaah first of all, thank you!!! I'm so glad you've been enjoying it so far!! 💚💚💚

I've fallen asleep in a similar position (not doing that) back when I injured my back and 0/10 would recommend. The cramping and pain in the hips and back and legs is not worth it 😭

Omg that would be so cute. Just four big, buff men walking into a nail salon wanting pedicures 😂 I love it. Ugh it's the sweet little things that get me (can you tell my love language is acts of service??)

Would you believe the training scene was one of the first I wrote for this chapter?? It was like the only idea I had for it when I started writing lmaooo. Oh trust me, it's marinating. I also think about this fic 24/7.

Simon has a schedule to keep, ya know?? Lmao I'd write the entire fic from Simon's POV in a heartbeat. 😂 I'd probably write it from all of their POVs if I had enough time and energy.

Simon may have been a little scent drunk 🤭 that's why things got as far as they did. (I realized I'd been neglecting Price for a while and had to throw in a little tidbit for him to make up for it lol)

I may or may not have been channeling The Notebook (which I've only seen once believe it or not) a bit in that scene. Pouring rain, strong emotions, someone leaving for an unknown amount of time. Delicious.

Oh Simon definitely wanted to stay and he was rushing to avoid talking himself out of leaving. He knows he has a job to do, and he's a loyal soldier, but so soon after he finally allowed himself to develop this relationship with the reader? Brutal.

They'll find out the whole truth soon, don't worry. It is coming...soon. Soon. Soonish. Ish.

Eventually.

[jazzycurls]

You belong to me - part 5.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Summary: It's a surprise 😉🤫

Warnings/Tags: 18+ minors dni! Cheating, angst, hurt & comfort, smut, stalking, and pregnancy (let me know if I missed something)

An: Sorry this took so long you guys, between work and a serious case of writer's block lol... this took way longer than expected. Love you guys, and thank you so much for the support, hope you enjoy ❤

Word Count: 7,613

The ceiling fan circles overhead, emitting a soft hum. Used to the sound by now, Eddie barely notices it as he stares at the cracks forming in his ceiling listlessly. With a heavy sigh, he turns over to check the clock, once again reading the time to be 12:50 in the morning.

You were supposed to have shown up two hours ago. Worry gnaws at him as he chews on his nails. He's called your house numerous times by now to no avail. Not wanting to seem clingy, he held back from racing over to your house after an hour had passed with no word from you.

His telephone rings and he jumps, bumping his knee against the end table. His astray falls to the floor dumping cigarette butts and ashes onto the ground. "Hello!" he yells into the phone.

"Hello to you too handsome," Steve says laughing on the other end.

"Ugh, it's just you. What do you want Harrington, I'm waiting on a call." Holding the phone in between his ear and shoulder, Eddie stoops down to pick up the fallen debris from his astray.

"I just wanted to check in with you. You know, since you've had a stick up your ass lately. I wanted to make sure you were okay," he says, feeling slightly offended at being rushed off the phone.

"I'm okay. Sorry for being an asshole lately. I've just been going through a lot and I took it out on you, sorry for that man." He dumps the ash butts in his hand into the nearby wastebasket, clapping his hands together to dust off the remaining pieces.

"It's okay, no harm no foul." The phone fell silent for a moment before Steve spoke again. "Sooo, who were you waiting to call?" Anyone who knew Steve knew that he could be nosy at times. It was in his nature to want to know everything going on around him, even if it had nothing to do with him.

"Y/n," Eddie replied easily. Unless it was something too personal, he usually didn't mind sharing. He and Steve complimented each other, whereas Steve liked to hear gossip, Eddie tended to overshare sometimes. Though they would never admit it, they often would call each other just to gossip like mother hens.

Steve let out a small hum. "She left work about two hours ago. You sure you didn't miss her call?"

"I'm sure, I've been glued to this spot waiting on her call all night!" Eddie's felt his stomach clench in fear, you should have called by now. Maybe he was jumping the gun but you didn't seem like the type to ghost him.

"Okay, okay, settle down. I'll call Robin and have her go over to her house, I think she lives close to her."

Eddie was already up, pulling on his shoes and jacket. "Fuck that, I can't wait any longer, I'm going to go check myself, thanks." He drops the phone onto his bed not bothering to put it on the receiver, racing out the door and jumping into his van.

It takes him less than 10 minutes to make it to your side of town. Gripping the tattered leather of his steering wheel, he pulls up to the curb in front of your home with a screech. Not bothering to cut the car off as he jumps out of the car, leaving it idling.

His nerves are shot, leaving a jittery feeling in its wake. The windows are dark as he pounds on the front door. After a few minutes pass, he walks around your house, peering into the windows.

He knows that if anyone saw him, they would call the cops with no hesitation. It's the one place he refuses to end up— well that and being stuck in this shit town. But at this moment that was the farthest thing from his mind.

That feeling that something was wrong kept nagging at him and he wouldn't be able to rest until he saw you in person.

After he had walked around your house a few times, he jogged back to the van, hopped into the seat, and began to head toward Family Video. Maybe you had stopped somewhere near your job and had lost track of time or maybe your car had run out of gas and you were stranded.

Countless scenarios run rampant through his mind as his foot pressed down heavily against the gas pedal. The entrance to the trailer park is a blur as he zooms toward the wooded highway. It's a straight shot from your job that would pass by his house on your way home. This road was known for its creepiness at night and he hoped that you weren't stranded on the side of the road somewhere.

Before he could reach the bend up ahead, the flickering of blue lights flashed in his rearview mirror. "Fuck me," he groaned as he reluctantly slowed down and eased to a stop on the side of the road.

Minutes tick by slowly as the officer takes his precious time before stepping out of the vehicle. Eddies lets out an aggravated huff of breath when the officer finally reaches his car.

Letting down his window he greets "something wrong officer?"

The man tips his hat upward revealing himself to be none other than the local town sheriff, Jim Hopper. "Where you going in such a hurry kid?" He places a large calloused hand on top of the roof as he leans through the window, peering around Eddie and looking towards the back of the van.

"I'm looking for someone," Eddie's response is short and clipped. It's not that he doesn't like Jim, to be honest, he liked him as much as he could like an officer of the law. His history with law enforcement was a shaky one. With him being the spitting image of his father and with his extracurricular activities, Eddie felt as if he had been doomed from the start.

With that being said, Jim was the only officer who had judged him on his merit and not his family name. Even though that merit was dead and buried after being busted a few times, he still treated him decent and he was thankful for that.

"Well driving like a bat out of hell won't get you there, it'll only have you in a hospital somewhere or God forbid in a grave. That's the problem with you kids, always rushing off somewhere, never taking time to just relax and enjoy life." Taking a cigarette out of his shirt pocket he quickly lights it and takes a deep inhale before exhaling the smoke into the night air.

"Yes sir," Eddie says in a monotone voice, tiredly rubbing at his eyes. His mind is too wired to focus on what the older man is saying, concern for your well-being is the only thing filling his brain right now.

Jim lets out a sigh at Eddie's response. He takes another drag of his cigarette before flicking it onto the cracked road. His eyes are soft as his gaze settles on Eddie. "Just drive more carefully kid. I don't wanna see another one of you out here tonight, crashed out on the road."

His eyes snap onto Jim's at his words. Ice-cold fear runs through his veins and his hands begin to shake in response. "What are you talking about? Who was out here!" his words are a rushed and jumbled mess as he waits on bated breath for the officer's response.

Jim jumps, startled by Eddie's outburst, before quickly converting back to his usual calm demeanor. "A girl crashed out here earlier," he says shaking his head sadly.

"What was her name," he demands shakily. His thoughts are static as fear takes hold of him, pumping throughout his veins leaving an ice-cold sensation in its wake. 'Please don't be Y/n,' he chants over and over to himself.

"Hmmm. I think it was a young girl last name Y/l/n. Why? Did you know—" His question is cut off abruptly as Eddie quickly puts his car in drive and takes off full speed down the desolate road. "Hey! What the hell," he jumps back from the car. The tire from the van narrowly missing his foot.

Tires screech against the asphalt as Eddie guns it down the highway leaving smoke in his wake. The sound of sirens can be heard behind him but Eddie is no longer in control of his actions. His body is on autopilot, tears streaming down his face as he heads toward the hospital. He's praying, something he hasn't done in a long time that it's not you. Hoping that Hopper had it wrong and that it was someone else. Not you, anyone but you.

He doesn't know how he makes it to the hospital in one piece but he does. Parking in front of the entrance he runs through the entrance at full speed. Unable to come to a stop, his body slams into the front desk, startling the old lady seated there.

She gasps loudly, holding her chest in shock. As her nerves begin to settle she pushes her wire-rimmed glasses up her nose with a pointed look at the young man in front of her. "Can I help you?" she asks cautiously. Sometimes strange people come into the hospital and she's usually the first person they come into contact with, so she's always careful of her interactions with people.

"Y/n L/n! Where is she? I need to see her!" His words tumble out of his mouth breathlessly.

Taking a quick look at the computer screen in front of her, she glances back at Eddie. "Are you a member of the family? I can't give out information if—,"

"Yeah! I'm her family, now where the fuck is she!" he shouts slamming his palm against the counter, attracting the attention of the people seated in the lobby.

"Sir, p-please, calm down and give me a moment so I can find her room number, okay?" Turning towards the computer, she quickly taps away on her keyboard, the glare from the screen reflecting off of her glasses. "3rd-floor, room 211 but you can't—," she trails off as Eddie takes off sprinting towards the elevators.

"Kids these days," she mutters to herself. With a shake of her head, she lets out a shaky breath before turning back to the magazine in front of her.

Unable to wait for the elevator, Eddie takes the stairs, reaching the 3rd floor in seconds. Bursting through the heavy metal door, he glances at the numbered halls as he skirts around the visitors and staff walking the halls.

Soon, he's at your door and he comes to a complete stop, unable to move any further. The chart on the door has your name on it, solidifying that you are indeed in the room.

Not giving himself time to think about it, he pushes the door open. Tears spring to his eyes as he takes in your small frame layered underneath the thin blankets. Shuffling forward he stops at your bedside and takes your hand into his. His gaze takes in the numerous dark bruises marking your swollen features.

"Y/n?" his voice is small, a sharp contrast to his usual boisterous tone. There's no response, only the steady beeps of the machines echoing loudly throughout the room. A choked cry breaks out as he hangs his head down, bending over the rail closer to you as the enormity of the situation hits him. Hot tears run down his face, dropping down onto the white hospital blankets.

He squeezes your hand, trying to find that sense of comfort that being around you normally brings. Your hand is cold to the touch, lying limp within his own. Your body doesn't react as he massages the palm of your hand tenderly.

Regret sits in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about all the time he wasted not being with you, not getting to know you better. He swallows thickly at the raw emotion flowing through him. He hasn't felt a pain like this ever since his mom died and even then he was too young to even process it, choosing to just accept that she was gone and never coming back.

He should've never gotten with Chrissy. He wishes he hadn't been a coward back then and had asked you out before you had moved away. It seems like as soon as you guys stood a chance at being together, life would come, and fuck it all up.

There's a knock at the door bringing him out of his thoughts. After a pause, the door opens and a middle-aged man enters, closing the door behind him. "Hello, I'm Dr. Raymond. Are you the patient's family?"

"Yes, I'm Eddie— her boyfriend," he states with a firm tone. His hands come up and wipe away the fresh tears steadily falling, uncaring that a stranger is seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

The doctor pauses for a moment, taking in the young man's words before continuing. Usually, they would only give information to immediate family but something tells him that the person in front of him wouldn't take that decision lightly.

Looking at his clipboard he starts rambling off medical terms, gesturing towards you briefly. Eddie stands there in confusion, not understanding a single thing he's said.

The doctor looks up in midspeech, realizing that he isn't following. "I'm sorry," he says with a small smile. "Sometimes I forget how hard it can be to understand all of this."

Eddie shakes his head in agreeance and the doctor continues. "Simply put, Y/n has suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. You've probably noticed that she hasn't responded to you being here right? The reason is that at this moment, she is unresponsive. When an injury damages specific parts of the brain, the nervous system sometimes doesn't send normal signals to the body. This can cause a person to fall into a coma." He stops, allowing Eddie to process the information he's given.

Putting on a brave face, he struggles to hold back the emotions threatening to break free. "So does this mean that she's not going to wake up?"

"We're not giving up yet. There's a possibility that she could wake up. However, there's also a chance she might not wake up."

His heart soars at the idea that there's a chance you could wake up. Refusing to think anything differently. "What can I do to help," he asks desperately. If he could do anything to help you, he would definitely do it, no questions asked.

The doctor smiles warmly at the sincere look plastered across Eddie's face. "The most important thing you can do is just be here for her. You can talk or read to her, believe it or not, it helps."

With a surge of hope, Eddie nods in confirmation, looking back over at you with a soft look. "I can do that. If there's one thing I'm good at— it's talking," he replied with a humorless laugh.

The doctor patted him on the shoulder before turning around to head out of the room. He stopped before the door, turning on his heel suddenly. "Gosh, I almost forgot," he says with a smack to his forehead.

"What's wrong?" Eddie's nerves instantly shoot back up at the doctor's words.

"That's the point," he says as Eddie stares at him in confusion. "The baby I mean— the baby's just fine. Although it's still early, it appears your little one will be just fine." His pager goes off and he darts out the door not waiting for a response.

"Baby?" He looks over at you in bewilderment. He stumbles, catching his fall by holding onto the wall for support. His air intake is limited as his breathing comes in deep harsh gasps. His vision begins to swim, and not wanting to pass out near you, he takes a step away from you towards a chair, before crashing onto the ground.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Eddie woke up with a low groan, blinking up at the harsh lights above him. He yells your name, sitting up with a jolt as his memories come rushing back all at once. Looking around the room he notices that he's in an entirely different room than before.

He tries to get up when he realizes that he's cuffed to the bed. "What the fuck? Hey! Let me out here! Heyyyy!!!" Panic quickly rises in him with his sudden predicament. He doesn't know what he did to get handcuffed to the bed and he doesn't care. The only thing that matters is you and the fact that these stupid cuffs are keeping him from you right now.

He yells again as he yanks on the cuffs, causing the metal to bite painfully into his wrist. Just as he's about to start up again the door swings open and enters Hopper.

"Fuuuck," Eddie moans throwing his head back onto the pillow.

"Fuck is right," Hopper quips, walking over to the wall and leaning against it.

"I don't have time for this. Y/n needs me!" Tears of frustration begin to slip out the corners of his eyes.

"She's okay— I checked on her after you fainted." Hopper's gaze is steady as he stares at Eddie under the perch of his hat.

"I did not faint," Eddie grits out harshly.

"Sure kid— whatever you say. So, you mind telling me why you ran off like that huh?"

Letting out a sigh Eddie explains who you are to him and how that was the reason why he had reacted toward Hopper last night.

Hopper stood silently, taking everything in as he waited for him to finish. Once he was done he stood still for a moment in contemplation. Never taking his eyes off of Eddie he pushed away from the wall, walking over to Eddie on the bed.

Eddie's eyes are wide as he watches Hopper dig a set of keys from his pocket and unlock his cuffs. Rubbing the bruised flesh on his wrist he hurriedly got up from the bed, making his way over to the door.

"Hey kid," Hopper calls out and Eddie stops in his tracks. "Drive safer next time. You won't do anyone any good if you're laid up in a hospital too."

Nodding his head, he throws a grateful look his way before slipping out the door. In no time he's back in front of your room. He takes a deep breath to steady the flutter of nerves in his stomach. The news of you being in a coma and on top of that you were pregnant had left him in a stupor.

He knew without a doubt that it was his. That must have been the news you wanted to share with him last night. A fresh wave of guilt sets in at the thought of you crashing because you were hurrying to get back and tell him. You had to be at least two months now. He wondered how long you'd known and why you hadn't told him sooner. You must have been so scared of how he would react.

He shook his head, causing his curls to swing wildly. It didn't matter why you didn't tell him, the only thing he cared about right now was you and his baby's health.

With another deep breath, he opens the door to your room, entering silently. An older woman sits near your bed with her head resting in your lap as she wept silently. He stood near the door, not sure what to do next. Her head popped up at the sound of the door clicking shut.

'This must be your mom,' he thought to himself as she looked up at him in confusion. "Can I help you?" She croaked, clearing her throat as she wiped away the tears coating her cheeks.

"Hi— um I'm Eddie. Eddie Munson, I'm Y/n's boyfriend." He knows that you would give him the side eye at the self-appointed title he had given himself but he panicked! He couldn't say you guys were two people who used to fuck each other and that he had fallen in love with you but he wasn't sure if you even felt the same. Shifting from foot to foot he stood nervously waiting for her to respond.

After what felt like an eternity she finally responds "Hello, I'm Y/m/n. I'm sorry but you're her boyfriend? I've never met you," she replied with a soft sniff.

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly "Yeah, our relationship is kinda new?" His eyes drift over to you and he couldn't help but move closer to you towards the other side of the bed.

She watches him as he carefully takes ahold of your hand, his thumb stroking your knuckles soothingly. The care shown in his movements and the sincerity in his eyes has her deciding right then and there that she liked him. However, she didn't like secrets and she wouldn't make it easy on him.

A knock at the door sounds off abruptly,  causing both heads to turn toward the source of the noise. The door opens and in walks the doctor from yesterday.

"Hello, good morning," he says looking over at Eddie. Turning towards your mom he extends his hand to her "Hi, I'm Dr. Raymond."

"Hello, I'm Y/m/n and L/n, Y/n's mother." She takes his hand and shakes it briefly before dropping it back into her lap. Her hands grip the small pocketbook on her lap nervously as she casts a glance at you. "Doctor give it to me straight. Why is my little girl not waking up?"

He proceeds to explain the same thing that he told Eddie yesterday. That you were in a coma and had sustained severe head trauma but that you had responded well to some of their tests, so they still had hope that you could pull through this. "Mrs. Y/m/n, the best thing to do is, be here for her and let her know that you're here for her. Also, as the pregnancy progresses you can speak to the little one as well. Studies have shown that the fetus responds positively to music and even talking."

"I'm sorry, did you say pregnancy," she whispers, cutting her eyes over to Eddie as he shifts uncomfortably under her cold gaze.

The doctor also begins to get nervous as he notices the shift in her demeanor. "Yes— um, your daughter here is about 9 weeks gestation. The baby is perfectly healthy from what we've seen so far but we'll make sure to keep an eye out for any complications due to your daughter's condition."

Sweat begins to trickle down the nape of Eddie's neck. This was not how he envisioned meeting your mom. He's glad that looks can't kill because if they could he'd be a goner.

"Did you know about this Mr. Munson?" Her stern eyes were locked on his, refusing to allow him to look away.

"No ma'am, I just found out yesterday," he replies with a grimace as he rubs the back of his tender head. "Kinda took me by surprise too."

Pinching the bridge of her nose with a tired sigh, she takes a moment to collect her thoughts. Not only did she just find out that her daughter was in a coma from a car crash but she was also pregnant! She wants to be mad but knows it's not the time or the place. "It's okay— I'm not mad. I'm just surprised is all," she replies a moment later.

"Ma'am, I plan on being here for Y/n and the baby every step of the way," Eddie states firmly,  doing his best to assure her.

"Oh, I know you will, Eddie. I wouldn't allow it any other way." Her tone is icy as a chilling smile settles across her face. "I guess we'll be getting to know each other very well, huh?"

A shiver runs down his back at her words. Nodding his head in agreeance he looks at the doctor who took that as his cue to speak again. Even though he had meant well, sometimes he couldn't read a room and had caused many uncomfortable situations. Clearing his throat he began to explain the next steps moving forward.

All issues pushed aside, momentarily, Eddie and your mom sat silently as they listened to the doctor explain the pending surgeries, treatments, and overall care needed for you and your baby. This was going to be a rough journey and Eddie was determined to be here for you every step of the way.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Eddie hums quietly to himself as he walks briskly up the flight of steps. A habit he's formed over the past few months of taking the stairs to your room other than the elevator. It was just something about being trapped in a confined space that irritated him so he always chose the stairs instead. He had written you a song and couldn't wait to sing it for you.

To be honest he still hasn't really adjusted to you being unresponsive but he still comes to see you every day after school. Some days he comes late at night after work and would just spend the night, sleeping on the small pull-out couch in your room.

On those days when he had to work or had DND, Robin, Steve, or your best friend would come in his place until he was able to get there. It had become sort of a routine, to the point where they had memorized each other's weekly schedules. You had a great support system and he was forever grateful to them for the help they had given him and you.

In no time he makes it to your floor, giving brief nods to somewhat familiar faces along the way. This floor is for long-term care and most of the people who frequent here, have been here for just as long if not longer than you.

Holding the fresh set of flowers against his chest, he opens the door to your room. There you are laying peacefully in your bed. The bruises that coated your face have long since faded leaving a small scar running through your eyebrow.

Eddie was the first to notice the mark, he had commented to your mom how the scar resembled a lightning bolt and how metal that was. After switching the flowers out in the vase on the table with the fresh ones, he quickly crosses the room to you.

"Hey sweet thing," he greets you with a soft kiss. His lips linger on yours as he feels a faint twitch as your body responds to his touch. The first time that happened he had shouted for joy, causing the staff to come barreling through the doors at the commotion.

After examining you and Eddie to make sure he hadn't lost his mind. They had explained to him that sometimes your body would react to certain things and not get his hopes up. Eddie, however, knew that was bullshit, he knew that deep down, wherever your mind was, it was calling out to him and whenever he touched you he hoped that it was bringing you closer to him. So whenever he visited you he would talk to you while brushing your hair or he would sing to you as he massaged your limbs.

His gaze travels down your body stopping at the growing swell of your belly. Pressing his ear against your stomach he places his hand on your lower belly massaging gently. "Daddy's here," he says as he taps rhythmically against your skin covered by the thin blanket.

A sharp kick pushes against his hand in response and he grins "I missed you too angel." Your leg jerks at the movement causing his eyes to turn back toward you. "I think mommy's tired today, so take it easy on her okay?" He presses a sweet kiss to your stomach before turning his attention back to you.

With a smile, he goes through his usual routine of telling you about his day. He sings to you as he rubs your favorite lotion onto your arms and legs, pausing when he sees the subtle shift of your stomach causing your eyelids to flutter. You look so peaceful that he sometimes thinks that you're just playing a joke on everyone and will wake up at any moment.

A sad sigh escapes and he shakes his head in an attempt to war off the negative thoughts. He mentally shakes it off, refusing to think that you won't wake up.

Cuddling up in bed next to you, his legs bent slightly at the knees as his journal rests in his lap. His tongue rests on his top lip as he jots down some new ideas for his campaign. The first time he had climbed into bed with you, he was scolded something furious by your mom and the nurses. They told him that there was simply not enough room to hold the both of you without putting your safety in jeopardy, something Eddie had quickly debunked as he slipped in beside your small frame without disturbing your peace.

The doc was the one who had gone to bat for him, explaining that it might help you to have his presence as close as possible. So by your side was where he laid, unless your mom or dad was there and out of respect, he usually took the seat by your bed instead. Your mom and him had gotten close over the past six months, bonding over the gravity of your situation. Your dad showed up every blue moon, never sticking around long enough for Eddie to get to know him. He imagined that was a song and dance that your dad had perfected throughout your life, never being around to form an actual connection with his loved ones.

A knock at the door snapped him from his thoughts. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he slips from the bed, making his way to the door. Whoever was knocking had to be someone who didn't visit often. Most of the regular visitors would knock and just come on in. He wondered briefly who it could be before opening the door.

Surprise spread quickly across his face at the sight of Chrissy standing there with a bouquet of flowers in hand. "Hi Eddie," she whispers, trying to sneak a look behind him into the room.

Not wanting to let her in just yet, he stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. "Chrissy," he replied, glancing at the flowers she held nervously in her grasp.

"How have you been?" she asks cautiously. They hadn't spoken ever since that day in the gym. Whenever she would try and speak to him at school, he would blatantly ignore everything.

"What are you doing here Chrissy?" His tone was short, not in the mood to play any of her mind games.

Taken aback, she pauses, before giving him a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I just wanted to check on you and Y/n of course," she adds quickly. "I think it's honorable how you come here every day to visit her."

"There's nowhere else I would rather be," he replies, shrugging his shoulders in response.

Silence ensues as she struggles to come up with something to say. Conversation use to come easy with Eddie and now it's as if they were strangers. Ever since you came along he had all but cast her aside to be with you. The thought still burned her up inside and she wanted nothing more than to go into that room and finish what she had started.

"Well, thank you for coming but Y/n isn't accepting any visitors at this time." Done with the conversation he steps back towards the door putting his hand on the knob.

"Eddie please I— I know that we aren't on the best of terms but I do care," a small smile sits across her face as she holds his gaze imploringly.

His instincts are screaming not to let her in but he can't help but feel that maybe you would want to make amends with Chrissy. Throwing his head back with a loud groan he mutters a short "sure" before turning on his heel, back towards the room. Before he can even step over the threshold, his name is called down the hall.

It's one of the friendly nurses at the nurse's station. They look out for him by letting him pick whatever he wants from the Cafe menu at no charge. His dedication and loyalty to you is something that has caused most of the staff to treat him kindly, despite the usual treatment he receives from his outward appearance.

Glancing back at Chrissy whose hands are held behind her back with the flowers crushed between them. A worried look flashes across his face as he halts mid-step.  

"It's okay, we'll be fine." She says sweetly, crossing her fingers behind her.

"I'll be back, kay?" He gives her a long and wary look before turning and making the trek down the hall.

As soon as his back is turned, the smile drops from her face, replaced with a sinister sneer. Gripping the knob she twists it, causing the door to open. Slipping inside the room, she shuts the door softly and scoffs at her behavior. She doesn't know why she's being so cautious, it's not like you would wake up from the sudden noise.

She cackles at the thought that you might not ever wake up, taking pride in her handiwork, before covering her mouth to stifle the giggles. You might not be conscious to hear her but that doesn't mean nobody else could.

She takes a minute to catch her breath before stalking over to you. The flowers hang limply by her side as she observes your current state. Your face is pale but still somehow holds a natural glow. It's obvious that someone has been taking good care of your appearance for you and the thought of it being Eddie sickens her. Her eyes travel from your face until they stop at the swell of your stomach.

Hot anger pulses through her at the sight of your baby bump. Although the thought of having kids this young didn't appeal to her, the knowledge that you were pregnant with his child made her green with envy.

Taking a step closer to you she rests her hand on your stomach, snatching it back quickly at the sudden movement she feels beneath her hand. The silence of the room presses against her as she's suddenly filled with the urge to end you, once and for all. She's sure that with you gone, her life can return back to normal. Hopeful that these negative feelings threatening to overwhelm her would be gone, once and for all.

She hasn't ever stopped to think that the foreign feelings she constantly feels may be the result of something much deeper than the feud between you two.

Placing one hand on the oxygen tube near your nose, she pinches it, cutting off the flow of circulation. The beeps of the machines start to rise as your heart rate accelerates steadily. She can see a slight movement beneath the lids of your eyes but other than that, you still show no signs of reaction.

She begins to wonder just how long this will take when a series of noises begin to sound off as the machines send off alerts of your distress. Your heart rate is dropping and before she can take joy in that, she hears footsteps running down the hall towards the room. She keeps ahold of the tube, wanting to be sure this time, when she sees a dark wet spot spreading over the blankets where your hips lay.

Before she could get a grasp on what that even meant, the door swung open, slamming into the wall behind it with a loud smack. Yanking her hand back she looks behind her to find Eddie glaring at her with an accusatory stare.

"What the hell did you do!" he shouts as he rushes to your side, knocking Chrissy out of the way.

"Nothing! I was just standing here!" she yells back. She drops her gaze at the intensity of his eyes on her, while creeping towards the door.  

A flood of medical staff fills the room and just as she is about to make her exit, her eyes meet Eddie's. His eyes are dark and cold, filled with silent rage as he stares her down. He doesn't know what happened but he's willing to bet that whatever it was had been Chrissy's fault.

She leaves the room not turning back. "Good riddance," Eddie thinks as he turns back towards you. Concern and worry are etched deep into his face as Doctor Raymond and several nurses check your vitals.

One nurse takes note of the wet spot on the bed, mentioning it aloud to the doctor. Eddie looks on, feeling helpless as he watches the doctor take his place at the end of the bed, lifting the sheet. He mentions something about checking a cervix but he has no clue what that means.

With a sense of urgency, the doctor begins firing off orders sending the nurses scrambling. "Doc! What the hell is going on?? What'd happening??!!" Eddie's hand holds onto yours tightly but is still delicate in a sense. It gives him a small sense of peace as he tries desperately not to freak out.

"She's dilating and I believe she's having contractions which would explain the spikes in her heart rate. Plus her water broke which is always a sign that the baby is coming," he answers while scooting past Eddie, to maneuver the bed, causing you to sit up slightly.

"But I'm not— I mean, they're not ready yet. She's only 8 months and she still isn't awake yet," he yells, grasping the lapels of the doctor's coat with his free hand. His eyes are big and wet as he struggles to keep ahold of his emotions.

The doctor's look is one of pity as he stops what he is doing to try and calm the young man down. "The baby is coming whether we want her to or not. Be strong you got this." He sets his hands atop Eddie's shoulders giving them a firm squeeze.

"But what about Y/n? Will she be okay," he asks in a small voice, sick with the thought of what this is doing to you.

Uncertainty is written across the man's face. "I'm not sure, medically speaking this could cause even more trauma to her body." He turns back towards you as the nurses begin to prep you for delivery. "But off the record, I believe that Y/n is strong enough to overcome this. She's made great progress over the last couple of months."

His words quell the fear coursing through him and with a look of resolve he grips your hand firmly with his. He whispers words of praise into your ears, praying that you can hear him. Soon your mom hurries into the room, taking her place on the other side of the bed. Your best friend and dad sit in the waiting room as your body attempts to deliver your baby naturally.

Hours pass as the team of doctors and nurses oversee the delivery, while also staying out of the way to not overcrowd the room. Eddie stands in the same spot, not having moved an inch since everything started. Not trusting that something terrible won't happen as soon as he leaves.

He takes a small towel handed to him by a nurse as he wipes the thin layer of sweat coating your brow. "Doing so good baby," he says, pressing a small kiss between your brow.

The high pitch beeping of monitors takes his attention from you towards the foot of the bed where the doctor sits perched on a stool. "Alright everyone, it's showtime." His head disappears underneath the high tent of the sheet where your legs sit perched with the assistance of your mom and a nurse.

His heart thunders in his ears as he waits on bated breath. A small twitch against his hand catches his attention immediately. He whips his head towards you, noting the faint look of pain on your face. If he hadn't spent the past few months staring at you incessantly, he wouldn't have caught it.

"Sweetheart— can you hear me?" He says, feeling small petals of hope bloom in his chest. He signals to your mom who looks at you with a hopeful expression.

The look of distress grows deeper and deeper until finally, a tiny cry fills the room suddenly. Eddie's gaze snaps towards the sound as he sees the doctor hand off a small bundle to the nurse, who rushes off to a small station to clean the baby off and suction out any fluid from the baby's airways.

At that moment a loud hoarse cry fills the room, bouncing off of the walls, and sending echoes down the hall. All eyes are on you as your eyes spring open.

"Baby!" Eddie says in a soft voice filled with joy. He doesn't want to scare you with any loud noises but he can't help the onslaught of feelings coursing through him right now. His eyes begin to water as his emotions began to get the better of him. Your eyes meet his and it feels as if a piece of him falls back into place.

"Who are you?" you ask as tears leak out the corners of your eyes.

Dread fills Eddie from head to toe as he realizes that you don't recognize him. You try and snatch your hand away from his but your body is too weak to do so. Eddie knows he should give you space but he can't bring his body to cooperate.

Your mom speaks up, laying a kiss on your forehead "Hi sweetie, mommy's here and so is Eddie." Her eyes flit over to Eddie's with a look of pity as you don't react to his name.

The nurse appears at Eddie's side with a small bundle wrapped in a pink and white blanket. "Here you go dad," she says with a small smile.

The frown on his face is replaced with one of adoration as he stares at the baby lying in his arms. Any doubts he may have had are quickly dispelled at the sight of his daughter. Black curls peek out from under the pink-striped hat on her head. Deep brown eyes stare curiously back at him as he looks at her in awe. She's a perfect mix of you both, the best parts of both of you.

"Hey princess, I'm your daddy, and this is your mommy," he says in a sweet tone. Eddie turns toward you and his eyes meet yours again. Uncertainty clouds your eyes as you look from him to the baby in his arms.

You don't know what's going on but something inside you tells you that this is right. That this is your family, even if you can't remember the strange man in front of you or the fact that you had been pregnant. "Can— can I hold her?" you wince at the strain the words have on your throat.

"Of course sweet— I mean Y/n." Eddie catches himself before the pet name falls from his lips. He leans over you slightly as he places her into your arms gently.

His fingers rub against your arms softly as he moves away and it feels as if lightning is coursing through you. You ignore it for now and focus on the baby lying against you. Her eyes are big and brown, an exact copy of the boy next to you. Warmth spreads in your chest as a feeling of love begins to overwhelm you.

Eddie looks at you both with tears streaming down his cheeks. He feels a slew of emotions, the main ones are a sense of joy and sorrow at the irony of it all. He had prayed every night for you to wake up and when you did, the fact that you didn't remember him anymore hurt worse than when you were in the coma. At least then he had hope that you two could be together again someday but now that seemed impossible.

He looks over to you again and your eyes meet. You stare into his eyes, holding his gaze with a small smile painted across your lips. He feels so much love for you at that moment and although he may not know what tomorrow will bring, he knows for sure that he will never leave your side again, no matter what. He vows that he will do whatever it takes to protect you both.

Taglist: @bibieddiesgf @tlclick73 @seventhlevelofhell @emmysuebull22 @adequate-superstar @vintagehellfire @sidthedollface2 @blue-eyed-lion @hazydespair @fly-on-the-wall @nicolaj1978 @sinczir @starrywhitenight @merciiss @hanahkatexo @kellysimagines @hargrovesswifee @simp4rengoku @igglepiggle22 @isimpforeveryonee @urdad-hot @thikkiesixx @billyhargrovesfuturewife @sammararaven @yogizzz @micheledawn1975 @munsonenthisiast @kissmejoey @klea221 @ms1oftheboys @whoahoney @foreveranexpatsposts @maysrains @alanamarie @emmalee-01 @kaitebugg03 @angel-jz @hereforshmut

[dearweirdme]

Not relevant to tkk, more about fandom I would say.

I am in my late 30s, married with two toddlers, super busy and successful in my very special field. I am also ARMY, heavily Tae based and following tkk love (?) story. The thing is, both of these sides of me have to remain hidden. I would never dare to mention in stan twitter my age or the fact that I have children cause the first slightly deranged person would call me all sorts of nasty things based on that. "Go feed your children grandma" or something like that lol. And I would never dare to even try and explain to my husband the delulu state im in with tae and taekook. Poor man would think I lost it. He already looks pressed when he hears me and the girls sing Korean and choose our biases lol.

I wonder if other people/women in the fandom have similar thoughts.

Hi anon!

I'm very certain that you are not alone in this. The agism is real! Speaking for myself (41.. yes be shocked everyone who hadn't clicked that yet 😂) I've had the craziest shit thrown at me just because of my age and for having a kid. For some reason there's people who think you stop enjoying music and everything that comes with it after you've turned 25 or something. Sure, life gets buzy.. but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to enjoy BTS or whatever music or entertainment you prefer.

But I totally get it. While my friends and family know I like BTS's music (I play it a lot, so it's hard to miss) no-one knows about me being a Tkkr, no-one knows about Tae being my bias, and no-one knows about my blog. It's not on purpose, it's just that nobody around me is actually also a BTS fan.. so the topic never really comes up (and I doubt I would ever let anyone in my real life know about my blog to be honest). It's a bit of selfpreservation for me. I just don't like the feeling of being mocked for something I love.

There are many 'older' fans around though and I've been lucky to find some Army/Taekook friends on here. It's so good to be able to scream in someone's dm's about how good Jk and/or Tae looks. And I've really loved sharing last year with so many of my anon's and followers. I think being a bit older (and really... 41 isn't old by any standard) gives us a bit of life experience that makes us understand some things better.

[corvus-ace]

Okumura Haru, aka Noir: an analysis

so, my friend Keeper wanted me to help them get a sense of Haru's character because they missed her introduction and a fair amount of her confidant, and the result was this analysis. fast forward like a month and I realized "hey, this would be fun to post online actually" and here I am lol. fair warning, it's long and also in bullet point paragraphs cause I was trying to write quickly at the time and have since fleshed a few of them out a bit more (I have a lot of feelings about Haru lmao)

without further ado, here we go!

Haru's past

-first and foremost, Haru is the heir to a fuck off huge corporation. her father basically owns the equivalent of mcdonalds. though she doesn't always act like it, she is fundamentally a rich kid

-now in my original analysis, it had been a while since I'd actually gone through Haru's confidant, and I had mistakenly believed that Haru had at least to some extent been raised to take over the business. pretty sure I thought that cause I can't tell the difference between actual canon and stuff I've read in fics lol. but after playing through her confidant again and realizing she actually had zero business experience whatsoever actually makes her even more impressive in my eyes, because she more or less had to teach herself how to run an entire corporation, and by the end of her confidant she has a pretty solid handle on things already (doubly impressive because her confidant starts so late game, so depending on how fast you play through it... she's learning all this in like, two months max if you're getting through it before 3rd sem)

-in addition to that: rather than her father retiring and placing her in charge, she is literally thrust into it by her father's death. so she's learning all this business management, getting used to phantom thievery, and grieving her father all at the same time???? I could never

-presumably Haru inherited everything after her father's death, putting her in full control of his wealth? (I don't really know how businesses and shareholders work.) Haru's mother doesn't appear to have been in the picture, although to be fair that could mean she's either dead, has left, or is just never shown on-screen. I don't remember any distinct mentions of her

-her father's view of her: the conspiracy has obviously been in action for at least around two years (based on the timeline of the mental shutdowns and psychotic breaks inflicted by Akechi after he joined the conspiracy). Okumura Kunikazu's view of his daughter would presumably have become distorted during this time; obviously we don't necessarily know the timeline of any Palace formations except Futaba's and Sae's, since one was shown on-screen and the other discussed more than once. by the time we begin Okumura's Palace, he views Haru as nothing more than a tool for him to use in his financial and political ambitions ("subservient puppet" and her cognitive form's appearance as an obedient and extremely weak robot). he also is ignorant of her wants and needs, evident by him arranging to marry her off to Sugimura for his own political gain

-now, because Okumura becomes so distant from Haru as his Palace develops, whether intentionally or not, Haru is kept fairly far away from her father's unethical business practices. obviously she has her own suspicions as indicated in game, but seeing as her father doesn't really tell her anything, she presumably still had at least a decent opinion of him up until his Palace

Haru's character/personality

-Haru is very kind by nature. her childhood initially encouraged this (the cafe her grandfather used to run) but because of her father's distortion and changed parenting style she has mostly retreated into becoming a "seen but not heard" people pleaser. this results in a very reserved persona, but she isn't exactly shy - she is willing to reach out to help people, is generally friendly when approached (if you go up to her in the Shujin hallways before you even start the Palace, she's very polite, even if not explicitly cheerful), and as proved not long after we formally meet her:

-if a core belief of hers is challenged, she will stand up for it. one of our first interactions with her in game, she isn't afraid to tell us that after listening to our flimsy explanation of our motives as the Thieves, she cannot work with us. she calls us out immediately on not helping our own teammate, and tells us she cannot work with people who aren't certain of their motives/goals (I don't remember her exact wording but I remember it was definitely something along those lines). in short, she cannot trust us to truly want to help her father

-first proper meeting: other than the seconds immediately after her entrance alongside Morgana in her father's palace, she is very flustered and constantly getting things confused. based on my understanding of her as a person, I believe this is because although she already considers Morgana a friend, he's clearly established a role for her to play as well (replacing the Phantom Thieves with her, taking the spotlight for future changes of heart, etc) and she knows, deep down, that she is still being used, even if Morgana does have good intentions and wants to teach her to help people. deep down she knows this isn't the real her either. her full Persona awakening showcases this pretty clearly with all the fucking guns and rocket launchers hidden in Milady's skirt that are finally revealed (aka Haru's full, true strength simmering for a long time, hidden beneath the surface, because who in her life would have ever wanted her to be anything but obedient and weak?)

-she's also the one to push Morgana to be honest both with himself and the other Thieves, to admit he doesn't really want to leave and that he feels like this is the only place he belongs. she's struggled with being honest with herself in the past, accepting her true self and especially displaying it, and the Thieves helped her finally do that; given her kind nature I'm not surprised she wanted to be able to return the favor

-as we get to know her, we learn Haru is still very naturally kind and genuinely friendly. the thing is, she doesn't have a lot of friends. we don't see her interact with anyone (other than her father and fiance) beyond basic pleasantries until her formal introduction, including at Shujin. I'm fairly reasonably certain this is because almost everyone she's ever met has only seen her as "Okumura's daughter" rather than just Haru, her own person

Noir

-Haru is one of the strongest physical damage dealers, alongside Ryuji and Yusuke (both in terms of normal melee attacks and her powerful gun-type skills). she's also the only Thief other than Akechi who has gun-type skills on her Persona - and it's important to note that Akechi can only use gun-type skills in the third semester, with Loki and eventually Hereward, so Haru having gun-type skills significantly earlier in game than Akechi (especially with high crit chances) is quite useful. also her weapons are a grenade launcher and a large battle axe so that says a lot about her

-her Persona uses psy magic and ailment skills in addition to the gun-type skills. psy is particularly important since it triggers many kinds of technical hits, extra useful if you have a wide variety of ailments you can inflict via Joker's Personas. this also makes sense given the identity of her first tier Persona, Milady de Winter, the uncommonly beautiful and extraordinarily cunning female spy featured in The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. Milady is also described as ruthless, which I feel is a good representation of how Haru acts as a Phantom Thief. now in addition to the other skills, she does have the ability to cure certain ailments and also recover more quickly from ailments, and can use heat riser to give significant buffs to a party member and makarakarn/tetrakarn to protect a party member from a magic or physical attack respectively. obviously the specific skills she has available to her depends on how you choose to build her in game (I personally tend to lean towards emphasizing her gun-type and support skills over her ailment usage/curing, since I have no shortage of ailments in Joker's Persona stock and prefer to use Haru as a damage dealer, but that's not really relevant lmao)

-also, Haru is a sadist who loves killing/destroying Shadows. probably all that repressed anger and unresolved trauma. as rich as her father is, I seriously doubt he paid for a therapist for her. rich and emotionally distant fathers are just like that

The Empress

-I have some issues with her confidant that I think are about to become very evident

-Haru is the Empress Arcana (number III) and it shows. she is a girl in a position of power (head of a corporation) and as mentioned before, she is very kind by nature, and quite nurturing as shown by her love and skill for taking care of plants. the people in charge of assigning cards did a particularly good job with her

-her confidant is less based on personal relationships like Ryuji's or Makoto's; instead it focuses on professional development and relationships with subordinates and corporate associates and shareholders. she spends a lot of time throughout her confidant events figuring out who to trust and how to shift Okumura Foods into something she can truly be proud of, with a strong focus on undoing all the unethical practices her father put in place. though she of course wasn't expecting to be put in charge so soon, she does a very good job managing the sudden responsibilities. we also have no reason to believe her grades were slipping during this time, so she appears to be able to manage her schoolwork (from a prestigious high school, no less) right alongside her new responsibilities

Miscellaneous

-Haru has no qualms about spending large amounts of money on her friends - we literally went to the equivalent of fucking disneyland after her father's Palace and she thought it was no big deal, although to be fair to her, that was technically a special situation as the park had already been rented out by her father for a company event that ended up being cancelled due to his change of heart, so she really just took over the reservation. it's worth noting that this point is heavily represented in fanfics (based on what I've seen across ao3), as fanon Haru is, for example, often willing to give Yusuke in particular plenty of money for food, train fares, etc. I have seen at least two fics (though I don't remember the authors or the titles) where she happily spends lots of money on the other Thieves

-out of the Thieves, Haru is one of the most vocal about her hatred and mistrust of the police. this is very, very evident in Strikers, and remains consistent throughout that story (and, side note, it's fucking hilarious seeing how offput Zenkichi is about it every single time)

-she also later embraces her brief stint as the "Beauty Thief" and it's something of an inside joke amongst the Thieves (not sure that's the right term but idk how else to describe it). there aren't any hard feelings; the Thieves are already pretty chill about it the moment she joins the group anyways. the other Thieves affectionately call her the Beauty Thief in Strikers, particularly Futaba and Morgana, and Haru is happy to really lean into it sometimes (Zenkichi does not understand this either and I think she enjoys that)

Final notes - based on my impressions of her; not really analysis

-Haru is one of the most willing to fight god, and one of the most likely to win

-mixture of cottagecore lesbian and warrior princess

-her association with purple is partially rooted in her psy abilities, of course, but it's also a color associated with royalty and elegance, particularly fitting for the Empress Arcana

-Haru is not allowed to drive and should never be allowed behind a steering wheel (Keeper, if you're reading this, you'll understand this much later)

-kinda already mentioned this but she's very good at gardening (can grow hp and sp restoratives for the Metaverse)

-she took ballet for years and was good at it, which makes sense since she's quite flexible, as well as having natural grace

Conclusion

well, if you made it this far, I hope you liked this self-indulgent analysis! I relate to Haru a lot, so I like to think I have a good sense of her, and hopefully I've done a good job of representing her in this post. there are a few other Thieves I have enough thoughts on to write analyses similar to this one, so I'll probably be making those pretty soon. and again, although this is very personally motivated, I do still hope someone out there will like reading them!

(and Keeper - I know you already read the first version of this and still wanted to read this version too, so a big thanks for enabling my brainrot lmao)

[bereft-of-frogs]

I have a new crackpot theory that is sure to get proven wrong

under the cut for spoilers and...length...(got out of hand)

I wonder if Torbin's crime was leaving Mae behind.

This is like, the opposite of the other theory I've already commented on (that the conflict sparks because the Jedi also want to take Mae) but idk. Maybe it's not what we think.

Vernestra in this last episode seems particularly upset that Sol never mentioned the possibility that the other girl lived (it seems like Sol never even mentioned that there WAS a sister), maybe because she was afraid exactly what ended up happening would happen (Mae gets scooped up by the Sith) and also neither Torbin nor Indara seem particularly surprised that Mae's still alive. It is possible that Indara thought it was Osha, but she does see the mark and that's when she's like 'what are YOU doing here' so it seems like she knows it's Mae and isn't like 'omg you're alive what' so it definitely seems like she knew Mae survived. And Torbin specifically says he's been waiting for her.

Sol is the only one insisting that she had to be dead, and no one could have survived the fall. So maybe, with his attention on Osha in that chunk of time we're missing between them escaping and her waking up, he doesn't notice Mae surviving, but the others encounter her on their way out and choose deliberately to leave her alone for some reason. (Maybe they're spooked by her power, she definitely seems like the stronger of the twins and obviously she's got some real dark stuff going on already.) And that might be something the Council would get upset about, judging by Vernestra's reaction. And enough to feel profoundly guilty about, leaving behind an 8 year old because you were scared of her power?

Whether Kelnacca knew she was alive or not remains to be seen (or might remain a mystery idk), but judging by all the marks he's drawn all over his walls, it seems like he was investigating something about the coven's power or history?

Anyway, also I'm currently placing all my money on it being Qimir behind the mask lol. I rewatched that monologue and obviously the voice has been altered but I feel like there are a couple lines that suspiciously resemble Manny Jacinto's cadences. Also that tonal switch when he tells Mae 'he'll kill you' (I saw someone else point out there was also a tonal shift when he tells Osha 'you look just like her' that's kind of suspicious), the fact that he knows so much and keeps prodding her on the riddle...it's SO him. I'm not discounting there being another Sith master though (maybe that he's the apprentice and someone else is pulling the strings)...

...I do just wish people would stop theorizing it's Vernestra haha. As I said before, if Vernestra turns out to be Sith it would take Leslye Headland, Justina Ireland, and Tessa Gratton all coming, in person, to my home to explain themselves for me to accept it. Otherwise, I would have to just believe it's two separate characters that happen to share the same name, species, and relative age. Hey, what a coincidence!

Just with three books left in the series, and judging by where we've just left Vernestra, it would take something MASSIVE to get her to the point of 'yeah I'm going full dark side'. And I feel like it would just be an asshole move to hijack that storyline with such an extreme twist this late in the game. Like...idk maybe they would but...it would be an asshole move to take someone else's character and 15+ books into a series be like 'oh surprise twist that undermines everything'. And you cannot say 'well it's been 100 years maybe something happens in between' because that's just shitty storytelling, it hasn't been 100 years for me, it's been four days since I finished Temptations of the Force, you cannot ask me to reconcile the Vernestra Rwoh who confronts the Eye of the Nihil herself and gets them across the stormwall, with a secret Sith manipulating everything from the shadows based on stuff happening off-page/screen. I cannot see it.

I DO however totally see where the cracks could form with her relationship with the Senate. I bet you the Senate accepts Marchion Ro's deal to save them from the blight and the Jedi feel betrayed by that and that's why she's like 'fuck the Senate, we do this on our own'. I think that would make sense for her last big unresolved relationship arc, her issues with Elzar, because Elzar has just committed to being the liaison between the Order and the Senate. (I do think they're going to get over though, Elzar mentions twice that he wants to give her Stellan's lightsaber and he doesn't, I don't think they'd do something that significant off-page, I bet that will close out this arc on a good note.) And it would be some juicy conflict between her and her non-Jedi friends, like I'm sure Cair and Jordanna having seen the effects of the blight, would be on board with doing whatever it takes to stop it, but I can also see some of the Jedi characters feeling betrayed by that, like they've been left to deal with the Nameless on their own for so long and now they feel like they're getting sold out by people they thought they could trust to the exact person who's been killing and torturing them.

Also just practically, it seems like by the time of the show Vernestra is an important enough figure in the Order's hierarchy that people would like....notice if she was fucking off all the time to go secretly be a Sith? Idk, I guess Palpatine had time to multitask but I think he was doing most of his Sith-business while still hanging around Coruscant, it seems like the Sith are out on the Outer Rim a lot, you'd think people would start to get suspicious if Vernestra was gone for long stretches of time. I guess she's done that before lol maybe they're just like 'oh Vernestra's off on another one of her unsanctioned walkabouts', and it is kind of sus that she's so upset Sol didn't tell her about both girls if the theory that the Sith wants both twins is true, but...yeah to get me to accept this they'd have to come explain themselves to me personally. XD

Idk. I almost convinced myself there it's a possibility. But we haven't seen the lightwhip scene yet, and that looks like a forest, it feels more likely she's going to go confront Mae's master herself, and that would just be an unreasonable level of subterfuge for the audience to accept (on the level of 'Indara is the Sith master and faked her own death in the first episode' theory)

Anyway, how did this become novel theorizing and also Star Wars fandom stop theorizing my favorite Jedi ladies are secretly Sith, leave my girls alone--

ETA: I definitely also think there's a reason the Sith (maybe Sith, I guess I should stop assuming) wants the four Jedi dead. They definitely witnessed something that night that they shouldn't have and I think got distracted by their own issues with what went down, but it looks like Kelnacca was close to figuring it out. Proof: after Mae tells Qimir she doesn't care about revenge anymore, she's just going after her sister, the master comes to kill Kelnacca himself, also feels like solid evidence of Qimir being the master...

ETA: wait I talked myself out of the most suspicious thing, why would she be so obviously upset at Sol for not telling her about Mae if she was the Sith master and would have known from the start? Unless she's playing him? But idk that break in frustration appeared genuine. I'm back to being reassured that it's not her. That would be SUCH an asshole move with only three books left to go in the series and none of the dangling threads of Vernestra's storyline having really anything to do with dark side struggles. (She struggles more with despair while she's mourning and being like slightly judgy of Elzar, it doesn't seem that serious. They're definitely going to focus on whatever this mysterious path she got from the ghost of Mari San Tekka and her unresolved issues with Elzar. Ok I'm back.)

[lizzieisright]

i was reading pt. 2 of your alpha!abby piece and almost started crying 🥺 but its the good kind, i promise! as a 20 year old virgin, i find myself being afraid about how my first time may go. and i know 20 isn’t even “old” to still be a virgin, but everyone i know has already gone through their first time or been in their first relationship, so it makes me feel like such a “late bloomer” lol

but the reason i almost cried is because the way you wrote abby in friends goes along so well with how i’d love my first time to go, whether its with a man or woman (since i’m bisexual). she’s so gentle and kind and patient, she reels the reader in when she knows its necessary and i pray i find the loml soon who’ll be that great to me. obv, i know smut romantasizes and puts huge rose-colored glasses on how sex really is, but it was still so great to read. i was so happy for reader even though she’s technically supposed to be me lool

also, i’m so happy you came back! i remember around last year or so you were hinting at writing alpha pieces for tlou but then you got busy maybe and was mia for a little while. thanks so much for posting snd indulging this little side of the internet, love 💕♥️♥️

Hi! Omg, love, I'm sending you the biggest hug ever!💕 I'm so glad you loved it, this is exactly the reason why I wanted to write this, to maybe bring some comfort to someone 🌸 honestly this work was a letter to my younger self and I'm happy it reached you!

I get your feeling about missing out on some experiences (been there), but 20 is really not "old" to be a virgin, you're perfectly okay! Sex is such a personal topic, you're the only person who knows what and when you want it, so only listen to yourself! 💖 First times can be intimidating, however you're not alone in this, but with a person who really cares about you, so if you find yourself feeling not great, talk to them, it will make it easier. 🌸

I'm so happy you liked how I wrote Abby! I really wanted to portray a good, caring partner through her, someone who is safe and comfortable. I'm sure you will find someone like this one day.

And yeah, it is unrealistic to a degree😂 a normal human won't be able to smell emotions, so we have to open our mouths and tell people how we feel irl, but everything else - how caring and patient Abby is - is really just a decent behavior and a lot of communication, and you should definitely ask for it from your person if it's something you want/need for yourself. (I've seen this cool phrase in a book that talked about being nervous about sex and rough translation would be "don't be afraid to "request support" and I found it really cool)

Yeah, last year around summer I went through a depressive episode and stopped writing, but I'm glad I'm back. 🌸

[13leaguestories]

OH SHIT wait WAIT *rearranges birthday speech notes* goddamn it I didn't know exactly when your birthday was so I didn't know when to send this, omg sorry I was freaking out over this and still missed it but here it goes anyway 😂

happy birthday Tierra!! I've been reading everything you put out since Dragon Racer days, and though Superstition is my favourite, it's probably just my personal preference for more serious and sober writings, and bc we have a lot of stuff from that one specific IF out already so I feel like I can sink my teeth into it, but that doesn't mean I haven't read literally every other IF of yours and even your patreon stuff when I occasionally can support you, and they all stick with me for different reasons!

anyway, I'm just here to wish you an amazing day/week/month, and hoping you feel better soon, bc in your monthly forecasts you told us you've been having a tough time with your writing lately... well, you should know many of us genuinely care bc you're an actual talented and proficient writer, not to mention a fun and kind person - I love reading through the actually interesting and insightful asks you get sometimes, and I die with the unhinged funny ones and how you understand where some of us are coming from in our unhingedness that ain't a word OH and I admire the patience you have with some people asking the same stuff you've already answered thousands of times before bc I could NEVER 😂 and even when you burn some rude people too for being way too comfortable with their asks 🤣 love that

like, I'm just thankful for your hard work, you have no idea how happy your writing makes many of us - as one of the most beautiful forms of art, for me, the main objective of writing is to take the reader somewhere else entirely, like, just grab them and pull them away from real life, bc sometimes life can suck, and even if it doesn't, the feeling of living other lives, being someone else, somewhere else, it's just amazing and unique to experience... and you do all of that amazingly well?

let's take Superstition as an example but this applies to all of your works: how many times have I laughed, or cried or gone feral while reading it? genuinely excited? it doesn't feel like I'm reading through a story on some fictional land far away from our own (even when sometimes it is), or about a character far removed from here, it feels like me, like I am literally there instead? when my character has to fight, or help, or argue, push, or hug, or love, or hate any of the others, or when they cry, or get hurt, or reunite, or get head over heels... that's me, not Roe, (or the Apprentice, or Phoenix, etc) right there, going through it? so it feels kinda personal? like, sometimes it's even hard to come back to my own reality, but not because it's boring/sucks, but because I was just enjoying being there in that book/IF, in that particular storyline, and having so much fun I feel like I could actually live there for some time and enjoy every second of that adventure I was participating in... it's refreshing, and it feels like wandering through fantasy, and that's extremely amazing, and very hard to accomplish I would think, because not every IF or even traditional writing captures that? so yeah, just wanted to say thank you, I guess? 😂 don't ever forget your writing literally brightens many of our days - like how whenever a new episode of Superstition comes out it's always like a holiday for me 😂

so hey take your time and don't stress over it bc art takes time, and it always has to run its course, sometimes it feels like it has a mind of its own - I know that bc I write too and it can be overwhelming... so take care of your mind so it can do its thing, and also don't forget that all of us have stayed here for this long and enjoy your writing because it truly is a special little part of our days, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!😂🥳🎉

Thank you so much! And it's understandable I only said the month lol. But thank you so much and thank you for taking the time to write and send this in. Ugh, cheeks, be calm. This was so sweet of you and so motivating as well. Ugh, nope, I can't. I refuse to get emotional while eating a bagel. Damn you!

But again, thank you so much, I don't think thank you really encapsulates how grateful I am.

[hisgoodgirl666]

hi all, sorry i haven't been around as much, even on horny week. my libido's been down, and it makes me sad.

i've been tapering down weed for a couple months leading up to a total break that started last week; i've read that withdrawal can affect a lot of things including libido. it may have already been affecting me before while tapering, but now that i've completely stopped, i'm definitely withdrawing - cold night sweats, vivid nightmares, getting too hot/too cold throughout the day randomly, period seems to be out of whack (i'm supposed to start in a few days and it's not abnormal for me to spot about a week before but i've been more than spotting and it's not stopping still, but it's also not like, my actual period. hard to describe lol. also just continuously cramping really hard...).

i hate this though. i want to be horny, it's fun when you have a partner to experience that with. it sucks for me but i feel even worse for my Dom. i'm going through so many ups and downs lately with this and i hate it and it's not fair to him. i feel horrible when i turn him down, i feel like a bad partner even though i know that's not true. i feel prudish and cold and wonder if he thinks i don't love him, which is ridiculous. but i still feel this sinking in my chest and anxiety when i don't "want to." just everything from society about women who don't put out flashes through my mind, even if it's not valid. and regardless of all that, i just want to make him happy.

when i got off hormonal birth control almost 2 years ago, i definitely had this window where my libido came back in full force, especially around ovulating. reading erotica absolutely helped too. but lately i feel like i'm having to work at being horny and if i don't put effort, it's not there. and yeah i could read erotica; last i left off here, i was in the middle of Debt by Nina Jones, but i never finished it. honestly it's because since i've cut back weed, i've been reading regular books again, which is awesome on one hand! i've missed reading like this for a long time. but now that means my libido and sex life have to suffer?...

but i wish i didn't have to work so hard for it in the first place. literally really want some sort of female viagra or something, i want to talk to my doctor or psychiatrist about it. i just keep thinking it's not fair. not fair to me and even less fair to my Dom. sometimes i just wanna punch my nether regions like helloooo fucking WORK lmao...

[galvanizedfriend]

23, 21 and 3!

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

Another really difficult one. I don't know, I struggle with so much. Everything I write takes forever to be edited because I tinker with everything. I guess recently I had a hard time with Elijah's first appearance in Pendulum. This is an example of (MANY) paragraphs that were re-written to exhaustion:

Klaus never felt threatened, that fight-or-flight instinct that grasped him so often, for so many reasons, never kicked in. Despite the infinite darkness in his eyes, there was something warm about the man. Elijah had the air of a care-taker, a protector, though one shrouded in mystery. He and Klaus would grow to be good friends, the closest thing to family Klaus had ever truly had, at least since abandoning whatever sentimental attachments he once held for his parents. But even then, Elijah would never cease to be a conundrum. He was always one step ahead, this endless well of wisdom who could somehow see the whole of existence in ways Klaus could never wrap his mind around, no matter how many lifetimes he lived. He would always be grounded in the here and now, while Elijah was… Everything, everywhere, all the time.

Whether or not the effort was worth it is debatable, I guess. 😂

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

I've already replied to this one, so I tried to think of a different scene. This might sound strange, but I really like the chapter in TW3 where Cami leaves (3x18, I think). It's a big shift compared to what happened on the show and I enjoyed writing it so much. Every scene Cami has with one of the characters has become a personal favorite of mine (Elijah, Klaus and Caroline), as well as some of the other ones (like Klaus and Caroline towards the end, where Caroline reflects on their relationship in light of Cami's departure). I feel like so much about that chapter was just pondering over where the story started and where they are now.

But Klaus and Cami's scene is definitely my favorite. I know, ironic lol But writing this story made me realize there was a world where I could've enjoyed Klaus and Cami, even romantically (at some point) if they'd been done right, rather than shoved together through awful writing and nonsensical events for the sake of pushing something that was so obviously not happening on screen (the chemistry!). They could've been cute together! And in a friendly situation, they really were. Klaus here does way more for Cami than he ever did on the show, and I loved writing the point where the two of them are finally like 'I think I'll miss you'.

Besides, if there's one thing I love writing is Klaus and Caroline's relationship through other characters' eyes lol It's my favorite thing. And this had Cami using the powers of her psychobabble (so annoying on the show) for good! Her analysis of Klaus here is spot on.

So anyway, under read more.

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

That I can't shut up for the love of me. I don't know how to write short stories. I don't know how to keep a concise chapter. Somewhere along the way, I lost my capacity for 2k words chapters or fics and I don't know where it went. That's actually something that I have tried very hard to fix, but even when I manage to make progress, two months later I'm back in my bullshit. I personally love shorter stories, stories that manage to pack loads of information, and characterization and even world building into incredibly short and well-crafted sentences, and I can't even give you a short reply to this ask. I'm just a malfunctioning fic writer, man.

Thanks for your ask! ☺️

Klaus doesn't know what to say. An apology at this stage would serve her nothing. It's too late to regret anything, for both of them. And offering solace or moral support is not exactly his style. Which begs the question, "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Honestly? I don't even know. The idea had been swirling around in my head, but it wasn't fully formed until I put it out there. I had to tell someone so it would feel real. And it's easier to confess to you than... Well." She shrugs apologetically, takes another sip off her drink. "Remember when we first met? You were so damaged... Manipulative. Angry. People were just things that you used to get what you wanted."

"Such harsh appraisal," he scoffs. "Though, I admit, accurate. What makes you think I've changed?"

"I don't. But for a really long time, I thought you were just an asshole with too much power."

"Shower me with more impeccable compliments, why don't you? Whatever makes you happy."

Cami grins and plows on. "I don't think you've changed, necessarily, but... I came to realize that there was more to you than that."

"And what changed your mind?"

"Caroline," she replies without missing a beat. Klaus laughs. "I understood a lot about you when I met her. More importantly, I realized that if you could love her the way you do, it meant there was some humanity in you, after all. Even if it's your own twisted brand, it's there. Whatever you were to everyone else, you weren't to her, or to your daughter. You're good to them, Klaus. You go out of your way to protect them, make them happy. I've seen you show kindness, mercy, consideration - even to me. All because of her. Caroline makes you a better person. If nothing else, then out of some selfish desire to stay in her good graces. Maybe it's just transitory. By your standards, this is all very new. It could just run its course, and in ten years' time, you'll be back to being a heartless jerk."

“Your faith is touching."

"But I don't think that's what it is. I think she has inspired real goodness in you. The selfless kind. And I think it will stick because it makes you happy, too. At the end of the day, that's what we all aspire to. Even evil overlords. I realize you have demons that you might never be able to tame, but... You should always just do the best you can."

Klaus' lips curve into an honest smile. "Is that your professional assessment?"

"Hell, no. None of this comes from science. I'm just being mellow and nostalgic."

"Well... Barbed remarks aside... I would be genuinely flattered, if it didn't sound an awful lot like a goodbye."

“After everything... Being your therapist, your stenographer, even your roommate for a little while... It just felt right to say something before I leave. It feels like…” She stops, considering. “Closure. You were my door into this world, after all.”

"Whatever questionable intentions I may have had at the beginning, I really did enjoy our conversations, Camille. I will miss them. I do hope, wherever you land, you find more poor sods with impossible complexes to help you pass the time."

She laughs, refilling their glasses and clinking them together. "I don't think there's anyone out there who will ever come close to a Mikaelson, but I'll toast to that."

[coffeebanana]

If you're still doing writer asks, 17 and 25!

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Way too more than I ever needed to know about the french schooling system 😂

LOL but aside from that...I think I either tend to research next to nothing for a fic or fixate on one tiny detail and research it for an absurd amount of time. Like, for This Distance Between Us I spent several hours researching the Ritz London (ie. what it looks like, how the afternoon tea works, the menu, when courses are served, dress code, etc...) because apparently that had to be accurate. And for I Don't Believe In Umbrellas I had the characters taking a Psych course, which I've never taken, so I asked people for old course notes, looked up a syllabus for the actual NYU class, and looked through a few different topics and picked a few to learn a bit more about for some throwaway lines. For that one I went as far as taking attachment style quizes from the POV of the characters--or at least for Kagami, I can't remember if I actually did the ones for Marinette and Adrien.

For a lot of medical things I use Reddit for part of my research--not for the actual medicine, but for the how it feels part. Because you get a lot of first-hand details there that's missing from the more scientific/medical information. And I think that's made me feel a lot more confident writing about those sorts of things, because you start to realize that people will experience/describe having experienced the same thing in different ways. There's not a one-size-fits-all and that means there's lots of room for interpretation! And that's sort of how I've always approached writing things like depression and anxiety because I always knew it's not the same for everyone, but it's cool to see the same thing on the more physical side of health.

Lately I've also been researching PTSD for Marinette in Say Something, and I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've actually pulled up the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for mental health realted things in my writing. And I hadn't added the tag to the fic until recently--because it wasn't something I was explicitly trying to write in yet, even though it was in the back of my mind, and I hadn't written down a list of symptoms for her yet even though I had looked through the criteria a few times. But then I DID write down a list and I recently added the tag to the fic because I realized in my last couple rereads I realized I've actually touched (at least briefly) on pretty much everything there already--except that the symptoms have to have lasted for a month and the fic's only taken place over the course of like...a week I believe? So...it wassomewhat satisfying to find out I'm on the right track ahaha.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? Yes! Usually after the actual writing part--when I go back to reread something and I've forgotten a specific line that packs a punch and I'm like...ouch? That happened to me like last week when I was rereading the last chapter of Say Something because a lot of that chapter touches on things that are somewhat personal to me--even though Adrien's circumstances are very different. So that resonated ahaha. And then I was upset I didn't have the ending yet to make everything better 😂

I think the only fics I ever had to step away from briefly in the middle of writing them were talk to me through the Christmas Lights and A Drop In the Ocean--the latter because (cw pregnancy loss, and this might be oversharing askjdbfskjfd but) while pregnancy loss is not something I've personally experienced, it did happen to my mom when I was 8 or 9, and that definitely impacted me too in ways I don't think I really ackowledged or realized for a long time. It's weird to be grieving in a place where people aren't giving you space to grieve--because people were telling me in different ways that they weren't my feelings to have. Which is understandable and also...not really true. And I guess I wonder how it impacted my relationship with my mom. We're not really close, but at the time I think she was actually the one person who did try to make space for my feelings. And that wasn't really what the fic was about, but it still brought up all that for me. So idk, that fic was unexpectedly hard for me to delve into. And it's probably the most nervous I've ever been posting something haha.

Thanks for the ask!! 💜

Fic Writer Asks