#i almost never do commissions and even then pretty much the only type i will take is costume designs

[squeakadeeks]

living the dream...thinkin' about bees.

WOOOOO I was asked to make a beemancer costume design and how could I not!!!! !!!!!! this was so fun holy moly.

the character is Hachi and they belong to @bukkitbrown!

[01zfan]

glasses pt. 2 | s. es

nerd!eunseok x reader | 6k words

the much requested (and commissioned) continuation of this! hope you guys enjoy this was so fun to write. i might’ve found my new favorite couple RUH ROH!

contains: no warnings hehe

glasses: one | two

“Should I leave?” You asked.

Eunseok turned around in his seat so fast it tipped to the side from the momentum. All the shame he felt was replaced with the overwhelming urge to get you to stay. He shook his head blindly, knowing that you could see him better than he could see you. Despite having no vision he wished that his glasses still were sitting pretty on your face, the silver band floating over the bridge of your nose and catching the light each time you turned your head. Instead, his glasses were next to his keyboard, taken off in a haste as his current situation sank in. 

The discord server was still going crazy—Eunseok was sure of it. When he came to the realization that he was still very much in the voice chat and unknowingly gave his friends a show the first thing he did was take off his glasses. He was hoping that somehow, someway, his frames were actually fooling him instead of helping him see clearly. 

After his thick frames were discarded Eunseok rapidly blinked as if that would restore his blurry vision. The words on his screen moved too fast for his still hazy mind to comprehend. Was the text on his computer always this small? The tiny words floated down his screen and he had to lean close to try and understand what was being said. He reread messages over and over again and the pings for his name shook inside of his skull. He leaned even closer to the screen of his computer, inwardly saying a final prayer hoping that it was all fake.

But it was real, very much real, and everyone was already telling dramatic retellings of it. The people in Eunseok’s small circle that were never active spoke, and those who laid witness to Eunseok getting head for the very first time were already sharing their dramatic retellings. Eunseok couldn’t even will his fingers to type, to give some sort of excuse or try to get himself out of the hole he groaned and moaned himself into. His fingers hesitated over the keyboard, unable to come up with anything. 

When tarotime pinged him for the nth time, Eunseok absolutely couldn’t take it anymore. He closed out of the app correctly and shut his computer completely off before turning his monitor off too. He started at himself in the reflection of his screen before bringing his hands to his face in defeat.

He only got the chance to look at his reflection for a second before you came into view.

After you asked you question the first time Eunseok turned in his seat to watch your blurry hand raise to wipe your face. You wiped away the last of him from your lips and chin, the fluid gliding across your hand and showed a sheen anytime it caught the light. When you were done you brought the back of your hand down to your waist, then dropped it completely to mess with the bottom of your shirt. 

“It’s okay if you want me to leave.” You repeated.

Eunseok felt like you loomed over him. Even if he couldn’t see your confidence he could feel it. He could hear it in the way you asked if you should go home. There was no embarrassment in your voice like the humiliating heat Eunseok felt across his body, and there was no malice either. You asked the question casually, so nonchalant it almost made Eunseok’s chest hurt. He didn’t wish to see you clearly, he firmly believed at this point his poor heart just couldn’t take it.

All he could do was just shake his head again, trying to not think about his sweats that were only pulled halfway up his thigh.

You rocked from foot to foot and silence filled the room. Eunseok wasn’t sure what was next, he silently prayed again that you would take the initiative like you have all the other times.

When you sat down on the edge of his bed he visibly perked up. Eunseok watched you hesitate for a moment before leaning forward, eyes flitting between his crotch and his face.

“Wanna keep going?” You asked.

Eunseok nodded his head and made his way towards his bed like a bug to a light. When you took off your shirt and started shimmying out of your pants Eunseok was in a daze, following your lead. He had his clothes off before you, throwing them somewhere around his room as you backed further onto his bed. Your books and papers were pushed aside, some of your things even falling over the edge onto the ground.

By the time you were completely undressed you came to a halt, and Eunseok sat down at the foot of his bed looking at you. He paused before he could come to you completely, realizing that he was thinking about everything except for what to do at this part. He stayed in his place on the mattress, and once again silence filled the air.

He could tell that you knew he was nervous. He hadn’t moved an inch since he got on the bed. His still balled up fists caused tiny craters in the mattress, physical evidence of his hesitancy. He was too scared to look past your mid-thigh, his eyes focused on your bent knees and the area that was so close to your core.

He knew he should’ve made a move. This was the part where he was supposed to crawl further up on the bed and slot himself between your legs before mounting you. He was supposed to be pressing fervent kisses to your face and biting his lip to hold back moans but instead he was just there, fists digging further into the mattress as he tried working to nerve to look at the rest of your body.

Eunseok knew he was still for too long when you propped yourself back up on your elbows. He quickly surpassed the rest of your body to focus on your face. He saw you lean your head to the side as your hand started mindlessly rubbing your leg. 

“Eunseok,” He heard the softness in your voice and for the first time he heard hesitancy in your voice. “Have you ever been with someone before?” You asked.

Technically he has. He lost his virginity with his longtime girlfriend before college. They didn’t do it again outside of that one time though, the two of them came to the silent agreement that once was enough. His other intimate endeavors included kissing a girl at a frat party during an insanely juvenile game of spin the bottle and got an aggressively dry handjob in Sungchan’s room at another party. There was also the time he was making out with a girl who pulled away in the middle of it to say that he was getting spit all over her. 

(Needless to say, Eunseok doesn’t go to parties anymore)

“I have.” He answered back.

So by no means was he a virgin, but he was terribly unexperienced with instances that had him avoiding intimacy at all costs. Eunseok had actually started to think he was cursed when it came to anything beyond holding hands. He would’ve never thought he’d be in a situation where both parties were seemingly craving more.

“Are you nervous?” You asked.

Eunseok heard the softness in your voice as you continued playing with your leg. Your knees had eventually come together, closing off the view of your core that Eunseok took for granted. He needed to see all of you again, or atleast have the opportunity to. He had the urge to put a gentle hand on top of your knee and gently pry your legs apart until he got a full view of you again. He flattened his fists to palms on his bed, imagining the way it’s feel against your knee. 

When he took a moment to answer your question you tilted your head to the side. Eunseok watched you as you sat up on the bed, one of your legs extending past his body while the other stayed close to you. Eunseok watched you reach out your hands towards him, palms facing upwards as a smile stretched across your face. He gave you your hands and moved backwards to sit at the end of his mattress.

Eunseok looked down, trying his best to not linger on the sight of your chest before he looked down at your hands. You rubbed your thumb over his knuckles soothingly, so contradictory from the mission you were clearly on when you came into his apartment earlier. Eunseok told himself countless times that if you were only looking to have sex with the quiet nerd in your class all you had to do was ask him nicely; but here you were showing all signs that this was more than just sex. You even leaned forward to kiss his cheek before leaning back to your original position.

“Don’t be nervous.” You assured.

You pulled Eunseok’s hand slightly towards you and when he gave in completely you wasted no time. You guided both of his hands by the wrists to your chest, leaning into his still palms.

Eunseok’s eyes were wide as saucers, and for the first time the whole night he stared at parts of your body he’s never seen before. He looked at his hands placed over your chest, how he could see patches of your skin peaking through the space between his fingers. He was in awe at how soft you were, how you fit in his palm, and how you arched your back to bring your chest further into him. 

When he was still frozen you giggled lightly. You managed to make something so embarrassing for Eunseok lighthearted, and he felt himself becoming even more flustered. He had watched his fair share of porn and heard more than enough stories from his friends, he knew what he had to do. But he was completely lost on what to do with his hands thats were on your chest that rested so perfectly against his palms.

“You don’t know what to do, right?” You asked, still smiling.

When Eunseok shook his head he felt you hands clasp over his to mimic a grabbing motion.

“Squeeze them.” You said.

Eunseok took a peak upwards at your face and his lips parted at the sight. How you seemed more lost than he felt was beyond him. You had wet your lips at some point, and started chewing on them after you gave him instructions. Eunseok stayed locked in on your face as he splayed his hand over more space on your chest. He dug lightly dug his fingertips into your skin, and you tilted your head back. 

He pressed his palms deep into your chest and he felt the goosebumps raise on his skin as you let out a content sigh.

He continued the ministrations until your legs parted and your feet were planted on both sides of Eunseok’s body. He was getting surrounded by you without even knowing it, he was only focused on feeling more of your chest and drawing out the same sounds you coaxed from him. Your hand went from Eunseok’s wrist to his arms, then to his hands as you guided them to press deeper.

Eunseok made the conscious decision to keep his body out of your reach. He wanted so desperately to control the tempo. He wanted to at the very least try and give you the same pleasure you gave him. 

He focused on your chest, how you let in a sharp exhale when he focused on pinching your hardened nipples. He thought back to the times it was cold in the lecture hall and he had to do everything in his might to not look down and it made his hands falter. He squeezed a little to hard and heard your gasp of pain, but before he could apologize he felt you preen your chest even further to his hands. So he tweaked your nipples again, and you let out that same sound again. 

Your hands had given up trying to touch more of Eunseok, focusing on grabbing at anything now. He watched you alternate between pinching the sheets and rubbing your own body. You eventually leaned back to prop your body up by your hands, letting out shaky breaths as you closed your eyes and let your head lean on one of your shoulders.

He was getting high off the sight of you being in this position and drunk off the fact that it was because of him. He was the one causing you to whine when he pinched your skin particularly hard, it was him causing you to scoot your body closer and closer to his on the mattress. 

Eunseok was sure he could’ve spent the rest of the night feeling you up. Being able to see something so beautiful so clearly was hypnotic. The way your head lulled from side to side, your chest raising and lowering, and occasional hitches in your breathing made Eunseok forget about his hardening dick that twitched and leaked precum on his thigh and lower stomach. Stopping was the furthest thing on his mind, he didn’t think he was capable of stopping. Even when your hands came back to his wrists he still ghosted the motions over your chest.

“Eunseok.” You whined.

He looked at your partially closed eyes and your furrowed eyebrows. You had an expression he didn’t know how to describe, but it reminded him of all the times you sat by him in class and complained about how badly you wanted food. You spoke with a pout, and brought his hands down to rest on your thighs. His hand was resting on the part of your body he was too scared to look past minutes ago. You guided his hand further down and Eunseok could feel the heat radiating off of you.

“Feel how wet I am.” You said.

Eunseok’s eyes widened again at your invitation. The fortitude he built from kneading your chest crumbled in an instant at the undiscovered territory of your inner thighs and what was between it. He palmed and squeezed at the soft skin of your inner thigh the same way he did with your chest, but this time it garnered a reaction of pouty lips and a small shake of your head. 

For a moment Eunseok thought he was doing something wrong, he thought that he was about to add another experience to his list of embarrassments. But instead Eunseok watched you move your body closer to his as your pout and furrowed eyebrows deepened. You parted your wet and bitten lips after swallowing the spit that gathered in your mouth.

“Please.” 

You begged. You didn’t ask him the same way you asked about a question on an assignment or what the prescription was on his thick lenses. You begged him with glassy eyes that looked ready to spill tears at any moment and a pathetic hold on his forearm that desperately wanted to push his hand further down. Eunseok decided in that moment of silence between another one of your whines that he was going to give you everything he had, even if he necessarily didn’t know what that meant yet. So he followed the warmth and the softness all the way to the sensitive bundle of nerves that sat at the top. 

Instantly your grip on his forearm tightened. He watched your chest raise from the abrupt stimulation and your knees try to come together. Eunseok let out a shaky breath of his own before trailing his hand further down. He felt the wet stickiness with his middle finger before the rest of his hand followed. He took a peak down at his hand, trying to make sense of the lewd squelching that filled the air just by him playing with your chest. your other hand dug into the sheets and Eunseok started experimentally spreading your slick around in a circular motion with his middle finger and index finger. He was making a mess, feeling your fluttering hole he was sure was going to swallow his fingers any second. 

He looked back to your face and you silent told him he was doing something right. You eyes were closed tight, nodding slightly each time he rubbed a particular way. He felt a new wave of warmth coat his fingers and you finally parted your lips to let the first moan fall out.

“Feels good.” You said.

Eunseok only hummed in response but he felt himself already getting lost. One part of him couldn’t stop touching you, but another part of him strays even further down the path. He feels your slick between his fingers, wet and sticky and more just keeps coming out for him. Your moans sound so sweet, the way you preen your body towards him makes him hungry. Eunseok needs a taste, he craves it and before he can even comprehend how he feels the urge to stick his face between your legs consumes him whole. 

He looks up from his hands to your hazy eyes. You were looking down too, but in a split second you are holding burning eye contact. Eunseok didn’t know what he was doing when he pulled his hands away from your clit to stick his fingers into his mouth. He basked in the sight of your eyes widened in shock, the way your whole body froze as your foggy mind registered what he was doing. Your reaction made him want to keep going; for a reason he couldn’t quite explain he wanted to shock you more and more until you didn’t know what he was going to do next. So he took his fingers out of his mouth and put a hand to your chest, gently pushing you down while he also got lower.

Your chest raised in anticipation as you made it to your back and Eunseok was on his stomach between your legs. He still looked at you, one hand still on your chest while his other guided your legs to bend them further.

“Can I eat you out?” He asked.

His voice was hoarse, Eunseok realized that his throat was dry from his open mouthed sighs.  He could also see so clearly how you went through the inner struggle of not wanting to push Eunseok further than he could go, but you also wanted relief so bad. Eunseok drove the point home that he wanted your relief arguably more than you did by kissing your inner thigh. 

“Yes.” You breathed.

Eunseok could’ve cut the tension with a knife. For a split second after having your permission Eunseok remembered how inexperienced he was. He had never been in a situation like this, evident in the way he had to repeat the Can I in his initial question. You were intimidating even if Eunseok knew you were one of the nicest people he’s ever met. The atmosphere surrounding you was daunting, somedays so strong that Eunseok had to avoid your eye contact. The worst part was that you seemed to be so unaware of it too, how you were just so pretty it almost hurt him. It made the expectation Eunseok set for himself loom over you both, like a dark shadow behind your back that sat on his bed frame. He was determined to make you feel good, he just had to find out what that looked like.

“You can start out slow.” You say.

He hears your suggestion, far off in his mind he hears the kindness in your voice as you take his lack of experience into consideration. But when he sees the slick that still wets his fingers and the way you clench around nothing, everything else leaves his mind. Eunseok has tunnel vision, he can’t even spare an okay of acknowledgment before he presses a wet kiss to your slit.

“Wow.” Eunseok looks up to to see your wide eyes. He prays he’s doing the right thing when he kisses your cunt again and sticks his tongue as far as it will go into you. He’s rewarded with the visible reaction of your body loosening and a quick hand going to his hair. “Oh wow.” You repeat. 

He hesitates before continuing, but he starts kissing your cunt to try and get another reaction from you. He alternates between your face, darting his eyes away when you periodically open your eyes to look at him.

Eunseok can feel his glasses start to fog again. The way he’s pushed into your heat causes the glasses to come up at an awkward angle, he can feel his large lens pressing into the apple of his cheek. He can’t bring himself to ask you to take off his glasses, or take a break from eating you out to put them on the bed next to him. He doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to miss the sight of your chest jumping when he hits the right spot or your eyes becoming more and more teary. This is something that Eunseok has to see as clearly as possible, cleaning his glasses after the fact is the least of his worries. 

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?” You ask out of breath.

The strain of his dick started turning to an aching pain as he listened to your indirect compliment. Eunseok can tell you’re trying so hard to maintain your composure, but it’s lost when your thighs close around his head. He can feel his confidence increase by tenfold when your hand leaves his hair and grabs his. You hold it desperately over your stomach and slightly grind your hips into his mouth.

Even with everything muffled he could still hear your breathy moans clearly, bouncing around the walls of his room and his skull. Your hand tightened around his, and Eunseok used his hand that was underneath your thigh to push you upwards further into his mouth. Your stomach tensed underneath your joined hands and Eunseok could feel your legs twitch around his head. Without even realizing he started pressing his dick further to the mattress, looking for some relief in the form of friction. He moaned into your cunt from the feeling, earning another taste of slick coming from your clenching hole.

“You taste so good.” Eunseok answers.

He can’t even bring himself to pull away completely. He murmurs the words into your cunt, causing a wave of vibration that has you pressing your back further into the mattress. 

“So pretty.” He continued.

Everything about you was so pretty it was unfair. You were the embodiment of the word, from your personality to your body that Eunseok couldn’t stop touching. You had the prettiest sounds slipping from your pretty lips, that only got louder and louder the messier Eunseok’s kisses got.

“Eunseok,” You pulled at his hand and he looked up to see your entire body reacting. “I’m close.” You moaned. 

Nothing could stop Eunseok after he heard that. You were pretty even when you were on the verge of losing your mind, talking so sweet and quick to try and get the words out as fast as possible. Eunseok took the chance to let go of your thigh and wrap it around your leg. He found the sensitive bundle of nerves that made you jump the first time he touched you and pressed down on it. You both jumped at the same time, Eunseok felt your nails dig deep into the back of his hand. He kept going, alternating between pressing hard on the nub and rubbing it. When his touches became gently matching his kisses he saw you quickly nod your head.

“Just like that.” You whimpered.

So that’s what Eunseok did. He continued doing it just like that until your thighs closed even harder around his head and your breathy high-pitched moans turned to a prolonged one. He continued doing it just like that while your entire body seized up and he tasted another you on his tongue. He even continued to do it just like that while your legs twitched around his head and he heard unintelligible words fill the air. 

He didn’t stop until your legs pulled away from the sides of his head and you started pulling his arm upwards. Eunseok reluctantly took his hands and mouth away from you and let you pull him up. He wasn’t even against your body completely before you lifted yours to kiss him.

He could still taste you on his tongue, then he felt you indulge in the taste as your tongue pushed past his lips. The kiss was messy, strings of your spit and slick kept your mouths together. Your hand went back to his hair and another went to his face to guide him the way you wanted to be kissed. 

Eunseok tried to focus on the way your lips moved against his, but when he felt his already aching dick press against your thigh he had to pull away. Your lips detached with a wet sound, and Eunseok watched you try and figure out what was wrong. The problem was right underneath him, with a hand on his face and soft against the rest of his body. You were nothing like the mattress he was pressed against moments before, you were warm and gave Eunseok so much stimulation he was convinced he was going to explode then and there.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

Eunseok nodded even though it couldn’t have been further from the truth. His dick was aching and he needed to please you so bad he was convinced he was going to die from it. When you shifted underneath him he groaned and a hand went to your waist. He gripped you so hard it caused you to tense up. When Eunseok opened his eyes getting ready to apologize he saw that same smile across your face before you got on your knees for him.

“You’re so hard.” You said, still smiling.

Eunseok nodded again, this time letting his head hang pathetically low. He felt your leg grind against his dick and he ducked into the crook of your neck to moan. You continued rubbing your leg against his dick, and Eunseok started letting desperate whines and strains of moans into your skin. He could barely see, driven by your inhales and the churning feeling he got in his stomach. When you stopped moving your leg Eunseok’s urge to chase that feeling took control. He started grinding his dick against your leg, finding a slow drag that let him feel the most of your soft skin as possible. 

He started huffing into the skin of your shoulder, filling the same space with hot air as he screwed his eyes shut. Eunseok knew he was close to losing it then and there until you pulled his head from the crook of your shoulder to look you in the eyes. Eunseok’s fogging glasses got in the way, but the obstruction was clear when your hand took them off. Eunseok blinked from the change in vision, but he focused on your lips to see the words fall from your lips.

“Do you want to have sex?” You asked.

“Yes.” Eunseok felt his dick twitch against your thigh. “I want to make you feel good.” He added quickly.

Eunseok saw you try and reach out from under him towards the other side of the bed. Eunseok followed your hand and saw your school supplies that were at some point pushed to the side you two didn’t occupy. He watched your hand try to grab your open backpack that was just out of reach. He brought it to you the rest of the way and saw your hand disappear into the bag. You felt around for a moment before presenting the blue foil packet of a condom.

“I wanna make you feel good too.” You said.

Eunseok went back on his haunches after grabbing the packet from your hands. He watched your eyes shamelessly stare at his hard dick, how it bobbed and twitched and almost looked angry. He opened the packet slowly, crumbling the foil in his hand without knowing where to put it. When you saw him look from side to side you held your hand in front of him. Eunseok gave you the trash. 

He waited to put the condom on, wanting all your attention after you put the trash on his bedside table. He felt cocky having your attention, seeing the outline of your head focused on his hand and his dick. Without knowing if he was doing it right he slid the condom on slowly, and even went as far as pumping his length a few times. Eunseok believed he was hiding his inexperience well, or at the very least you were so excited that it didn’t matter anyway. All he knew was that he never got the chance to ask if it was on properly before you were pulling on him again so he could mount you.

When Eunseok was on top of you, you didn’t hesitate to grab his dick. A small part of him wanted to retreat back to the crook of your neck, but he wanted to look at you more than anything. So he fought through the instinct to close his eyes in bliss to stare look at you directly. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?” You asked.

Eunseok shook his head, confused on how you expected him to form a coherent thought much less a response with the grip you had on his dick. He forgot about the rubber separating his bare skin from yours as you continued pumping him, cooing each time he groaned desperately. 

“So nice to me even when I purposely annoy you.” Eunseok felt you tap the head of his dick against your cunt. Both of your bodies reacted the same way, hitched breaths and chests inching even closer together. “Always letting me copy off your work, too.” You add.

Eunseok felt you guide his dick to your entrance. He could already feel your hole clenching around nothing as he prodded it with his tip.

“So pretty.” Eunseok said.

He wished he could say more than the two words that he had to strangle out of his throat. He’d just have to save everything else he wanted to say for the future if he was lucky enough. You seemed to still understand the sentiment though, because the teasing smile you had turned into a sincere one before you kissed his forehead.

“Thank you, baby.” You said.

He felt you shimmy your body further down so his tip pressed past your slit. Even from the shallow penetration Eunseok already felt himself getting dangerously close to the edge.

But you were unfazed. You seemed to enjoy Eunseok already being so high-strung so quickly. He felt your hand on his shoulder blade, pressing gently to bring his body closer to yours. He felt your hole clench around him again, he was one push away from feeling you completely wrapped around him.

“Make me feel good.”

Eunseok pushed forward, feeling your tight walls contract around his dick before loosening completely. He slid in, all the way until his hips kissed yours. He fit perfect inside you, like two puzzle pieces coming together. You let out a weak moan, and Eunseok felt you pulse around him as you dug your nails into his shoulder blades.

“So big.” You said. 

Eunseok was going to have an uncontrollable ego if you kept this up. He was also going to finish embarrassingly quick if you kept whimpering each time you tried moving your hips to get another shallow thrust. He had to tighten his grip on your waist to hold you in place, but even that didn’t stop you. Between your sounds, the squeezing, and your desperate need for more of him he didn’t stand a chance. He let his head hang low and his grip became bruising on your body.

“Please stop moving.” He moaned pitifully.

Instantly you stopped. You still whimpered the same, and your walls fluttered around his dick but he didn’t have to worry about you grinding your hips against his. He had no idea you were such a good listener.

“I need more.” You still did not move your hips. “Please give me more.” You whined.

Eunseok felt another wave of control over him at your plea. He drew his hips back, despite your body’s attempt to keep him inside. You sucked him back in with ease, and when you whined again Eunseok drove his hips forward a little faster.

“Give me more.” You repeated.

Eunseok held his breath and picked up the pace. He felt your legs rub against his body and before he knew it he had one over his arm. The new angle had you arching your back, and Eunseok felt the sweat return across his body. He started falling into a pace he wasn’t sure he himself could keep up with, but he became fixated on the pleasure he was in pursuit of. He looked you in your eyes, glassy and wet all because of him. He knew he was going to become a problem, fully enabled and fed by your reactions to him. 

“You’re so hot and you don’t even know it.” You moaned.

Eunseok seemingly didn’t know anything. If he could give up everything else to know your ins-and-outs he would. He hoped he was on the right path with you now, that you liked the pace he set that caused your hips to smack against his.

“Can I kiss you?” Eunseok asked between thrusts.

You nodded your head before lifting it to his. Your lips collided hastily, abandoning technique in favor of messy contact. You tongues clashed and almost made Eunseok’s pace crumble. He was trying to do it all for you, to bring you the most pleasure he possibly could. He was getting dangerously close to his peak, terrified that you weren’t right there with him.

“I’m close.” He warned.

Eunseok felt your leg that he wasn’t holding wrap around his waist to keep him in place. You started lifting your hips to meet his thrusts, moaning at the feeling of Eunseok hitting deep inside of you. 

“Cum for me, Eunseok.” You whimpered.

Eunseok’s hips faltered inside of you and he let out a final suppressed moan as he emptied into his condom. He felt his balls tighten and his dick twitch inside of you as your walls continued to squeeze him. It felt like you were taking everything he had in him, Eunseok lost his energy so fast his body he kept hovered over you pressed into yours. He laid his sweat head of your chest, breathing rapidly as he gave you the final spurts of his cum.

For awhile he had no thoughts in his head. He didn’t know anything, he wasn’t even sure if he was still in his room. But he was reminded of the sounds you made when he was between your legs and how you didn’t make those sounds yet. Almost instantly Eunseok lifted his body yours, looking down at you in horror. You had a smile on your face, like you already knew what he was going to say.

“Oh my God.” Eunseok’s voice was still weak as he looked down at you. “I’m so sorry.” He said.

You shook your head and pushed hair away from his face before kissing the bare skin of his forehead.

“Don’t worry about it.” You assured. Eunseok felt a full shiver go through his body as his dick slid out of you. The slimy latex of the condom still clung to his dick and the thought of taking it off almost made him shiver again. “I’m sure you’ll be able to make it up to me later, right?” You asked, reaching towards his condom.

Eunseok nodded, feeling that same heat span across his body again.

here is my ko-fi if you wish to commission me or leave a one time tip to support me further! thank you for reading👩‍💻🕺🫂

[mirukosbitchywife]

bnha pro heros with a vigilante s/o

aizawa, hawks, midnight, fatgum, miruko

vigilante reader is a pretty tame vigilante they pretty much just do heroic deeds but without a license so no one really cares much since ur not hurting anyone besides some bumps and scrapes, probably ooc? idk this is how i see them, not proofreading so if it sucks my bad, no warnings for anything i don't think, it's just fluff

midnight/nemuri:

-honestly you're probably not even the first vigilante she's dated, if there's one thing nemuri is gonna do it's whatever the fuck she wants lmao

-she's def the type of person to be like rules are meant to be broken

-nemuri LOVES going out with you, you better pray you don't have a recognizable face because there's no way you're getting out of going out to dinner and her dragging you shopping and her showing you off any chance she gets(not that you'd want to get out of that stuff i mean. it's nemuri)

-nemuri prefers working night shifts even when not working at ua so she can force you to take a break when she takes hers and she always packs you food <3

-she also prefers night shifts so you both can protect each other, shadowing one another in case one of you gets over your heads, the other one never being too far

-she probably has a lot of cats and by default they're your cats so usually while nemuris gone at ua you're playing with her cats. (nemuri probably has hundreds of pictures of you with a cat on top of you after you fell asleep)

-her favorite time of day is when you're both home and sweaty from fighting, your end of day routine always starts with taking a bath together, washing grime off the other, using the tenderness to reset your minds after a long day

-she loves to pamper you, do your nails, face masks, anything you want ,and uses her quirk slightly on you after a particularly rough day, and for her rough days you always make sure she gets a foot massage and glass of wine with a book <3

miruko/rumi:

-is so aggressively supportive of the vigilante thing she'd see you out beating the shit out of a villain and be like BEAT THEIR ASS BABE GET EM

-insists on you training with her. if you want to be a vigilante you gotta be in shape enough to go toe to toe with the number 5 pro hero

-absolutely kicks your ass in training but it's okay bc she gives you kisses every time you pin her <3

-if you're not immediately recognizable as a vigilante she Will take you to the boring hero shit she has to go with. no one's willing to get close enough to you besides hawks, because if you're with her she'll glare down anyone who tries to approach her and hawks is the only one brave enough to get closer (she also trusts hawks the most out of all of them and knows hes no snitch)

-has a sixth sense for when you're in trouble, so if you're ever in over your head in the same city as her ur opponent better start praying

-y'all's end of day routine always starts with rumi ranting about her day while you cook dinner for the both of you, then it's your turn to rant while she cleans the dishes after dinner

-on especially hard days for you, rumi gives a mean back massage that leaves you putty in her hands, on rumis hard days you always do her hair. she finds it so relaxing and loves the styles you do on her and will proudly wear whatever you did as long as she can

hawks/keigo:

-keigo would be a vigilante if he wasn't taken in by the commission. 100% he would not have stopped saving lives even if he got in trouble for it. he might even fuck around and manage to get you an actual hero license if you want one, even a fake one to get out of trouble if you need it

-basically. even as the number two hero he's no snitch and in fact really respects what you do. you guys probably met trying to save the same civilian or something and hit it off immediately

-he lets you follow him on patrols, absolutely no fucks. almost everyone thinks you're just one of his sidekicks and you basically act as one without the hero license. would just use his feathers to carry you away from any particularly hard ass heros (cough endeavor cough) if he needs to

-doesn't have a lot of friends but the ones he does have know all about you (including everything keigo gushes to them about you ugh) and they also don't care, they trust him as a person and a hero so by default they trust you

-probably also insists on training you but most of your spars end up in making out because he has no self control when it comes to you but you're not complaining

-end of day routine with keigo would def start with you two dancing in keigos living room, he just sweeps you up and starts dancing out of no where, doesn't even need music, the sound of you laughing at his antics is music enough for him, you've come to expect it every day when he comes home and it's one of the things you miss most when he's gone on a longer mission

-your rough days always end with you flying, even if you can fly using your own quirk, there's something about being held to the chest of the man you love while he flys through the night sky, placing unwavering trust in him to not let you fall while you admire the stars always makes your heart full, and for keigos rough days, you always preen his feathers, he's not used to anyone touching them besides his fans grabbing at him, so nothing relaxes him more than the feeling of your fingers in his feathers, straightening and adjusting them for him as you go

fatgum/taishiro:

-taishiro is just That Guy yk u guys probably met because he picked you up by your scruff during a fight you were losing and he jumped in all heroic like *swoons*

-him being That Guy /pos and all his only reaction after dealing with the villain is to put you down and be like woah. hello person i have never seen in my life before this very second right now. you should hurry along i don't want any civilians caught in the cross hairs when the police arrive. anyway random stranger i've never seen ever you should totally come by my hero agency and train in case you know. you get caught close to another villain attack

-guys got a heart proportional to the rest of him how could you not do anything for him he's sunshine personified. if he said jump you'd ask how high he's just got that affect

-he's probably the most chill pro hero aside from like. aizawa. you know how like the bigger the dog the more chill they get (usually). yeah same affect with him he minds his business stays in his lane does heroic deeds on the reg yk

- his favorite thing to do with you is spend time with you laying on top of him <33 he usually takes up all the space on wherever he's lying but no complaints can be heard when you get to cuddle on top of him all night

-end of day routine with taishiro would pretty much be him coming home from work, flopping on the couch, and dragging you to lay on top of him to doze until the food he ordered arrives (even if you wanted to there's no way you could cook for tai after work, you'd have a hard enough time cooking for Any pro hero let alone one who's quirk is dependent on food)

-your rough days usually entail you crawling inside his shirts to be closer to him (in my mind his clothes are probably usually baggy because they need to be able to withstand his full size and after a day at work he'd probably be at least somewhat smaller) and him allowing you to curl up on him like a cat (he probably also pets ur hair like a cat but we don't need to mention that), his rough days probably entail something like baking treats together!! he seems like the kind of guy who really really enjoys quality time with a s/o and combining that with food? his bad day melts away immediately

eraserhead/shouta:

-same shit different day yeah? he probably mostly has vigilante friends if we're honest (aside from hizashi and nemuri of course)

-is definitely used to dealing with vigilantes both a professional and unprofessional sense, nothing you can do will shock him, and you can always count on him to save your ass when things go south, it's like he has a second quirk with the way he's able to sense when you're either about to do something stupid or about to die. usually both.

-you guys patrol at night together, you both prefer working when you know the other is somewhere nearby in case things go south, and more often than not you take cases on together (although Technically it's just him on the paperwork)

-omg what if you guys meet because he saw you feeding a cat and snuck up on you only for you to. notice him? holy shit?? you could sense his presence?? he was flabbergasted. that like never fucking happens

-end of day routine is you bullying him into a shower with you and him making you wash his hair as payment. literally a fucking cat. we both know he wouldn't shower after patrol alone he'd just go to sleep.

-your rough days always end up with you in a caterpillar looking ass sleeping bag with shouta but you'd have it no other way. his rough days are full of cat cafes. they just relax him like nothing else

[bibibbon]

What MHA lacks: proper world building

In a series like MHA world building is something that is very important. Sadly, a lot of the world building we have is inconsistent and all over the place.

In my opinion, the world building aspect of MHA was definitely introduced a bit too late and the stuff that we did have in earlier seasons is inconsistent and never really followed through properly. This is stuff like:

Quirkless discrimination - honestly, this one is SO INCONSISTENT that you can argue that it doesn't exist and that Izuku just suffered for the sake of suffering. We have little to no knowledge when it comes to the whole idea of quirklesness and how a quirkless person is treated. Also, Izuku is the only one who has really faced this type of behaviour since we don't see it with characters who were quirkless like mirio, shigaraki, all might and even yuuga.

heteromorphs discrimination - we definitely know this exists but it was only ever introduced and heavily focused on in the final arc. To be honest the plot point itself doesn't make sense as there are many heteromorphs heros and people in society who seem just fine. I think it could work but it definitely needs to be established and built on a whole lot more.

Quirk marriages - I honestly feel like this plot point was just introduced for the sake of the todoroki family and nothing else. I think it was stated that this is an old outdated practice and that it's been made illegal but shouldn't we see other victims of quirk marriages and not just the todoroki family.

Child hero's - this is mainly a focus on both hawks and lady nagant and while I think this is an interesting plot point it definitely should of been built and expanded on a whole lot more. You can argue that it doesn't truly make any sense considering that it was originally stated that Japan was oversaturated by heroes.

The hero safety commission - all we get when it comes to them is that they are bad people who end up getting destroyed at the end and exploit children with powerful quirks. We don't know many things like what's their job? How do they help hero's? What's their relations with the government? What are their motives? Etc etc

The laws and legislations in MHA - see in any other show this wouldn't be needed but considering that this is MHA where heros work for the government as glorified soldiers with costumes then we kind of need a link in laws and legislations in MHA. The most prominent law is the vigilantism one but thats it.

Other stuff like the foster care system or child protective services - honestly, this is one of my major problems with MHA because you're telling me with all of the situations that there are we never see eri have a social worker or something similar like it doesn't make sense. We know orphanages exist but that just about it really.

Crime and the underworld in MHA - this is pretty vague but what I mean by it is the exploration of what really goes on in the underworld which can show things like drug trafficking, quirk trafficking, mafias or gangs ( just like overhauls)

Quirk experimentation - This could of been so much more especially with the stuff that the doctor and overhaul both gave us. How overhaul was right about the origin of quirks and how the doctor has made it possible to pass on quirks and so many other things

Misogyny and sexism - I really don't know if this came by accident but there is a lot of misogyny in MHA literally can be seen in the sports festival and that could of been a great plot point of how unfairly woman are treated in day to day life and the hero industry horikoshi does almost NOTHING about it and just sexualises the characters even more

People and their quirks - it's acknowledged there are people who struggle to control their quirks and it's a problem that hori never explored in his society. Also why is it that only heros get to use their quirks what if you have a quirk suited for your job you should be able to get a permit to use your quirk right?

These are all missed opportunities when it comes to the world building of MHA and it's own society. I must admit that some points are explored but there really isn't much depth to it as it should have and it doesn't help at all that MHA is a series that NEEDS world building for it to work.

[rui-drawsbox]

hey dude

how did you develop your art style? ive been drawing for years and I cant seem to get a handle on ANYTHING

4 almost 5 days late sorry dude you shot right into my inability to put thoughts into words properly HAHA

alright so first of all, i don't even think a style is something you need to do art. I'm a hobbyist apologist and as long those people enjoy creating it doesn't even have to look "good".

That aside i'm assuming you want to take art at least a little seriously so i'm just going to be straight forward and say that the only way is ping-pong between styles/techniques/themes and just stick with the stuff you feel more comfortable doing.

Now going into my personal experience, that's what you asked after all lolol (from now on this is just yapping so feel free to ignore it)

alr soooo im skipping my first steps into art and going into the humanoid phase. I actually started with sonic! Specifically the show Sonic X, of course i picked up mannerisms from the anime when it was time of doing comedic doodles (and cuestionable taste on fashion)

(im going thru my big inspirations so bear with me here)

2015 came and i discovered my two main inspirations for a long time: fnaf and Ed00chan! (link to her abandoned deviantart so yall can see the style of the time). As i was completely enamored by her anime-yet-cartoony style i was also hyperfixated with fnaf and those two things combined perfectly into (the infamous in the spanish side of the fnaf fandom) fnafhs! bing bang boom there it goes my personality for the next 5 years!

sprinkle a few power puff girls z too why not

anyway at that time i wanted to become a pro like ed00 so i had to understand anatomy, and my go-to channel was Bgm94! But the elders said that to broke the rules you have to understand them, so i just kind-of started doing more "realistic" bodies while maintaining the cartoony-ness i liked so much. Which to be fair, didn't last long before i got bored and jumped straight into cartoon/chibi again

also since we're entering my digital era i'm including some drawings with wild style changes since the experimentation never ends owo9

anyway that was 2018 and before! it was around 2017-18 that i dropped the general tutorials and just started experimenting on my own style/anatomy and trying to improve my skills (im ignoring my sketchbooks bc from now on they just become- well, sketchbooks, instead of doing full drawings i just doodled in classes and leaved the detail for digital stuff)

i would love to include all my 2019 folder bc i consider it was a year full of love for my silly doodles but tumblr has a limit for images HAHA. Hopefully you can see how i go trying out stuff and pick little stuff from every stage with me lolol

2020 hits and you can *see* my hyperfixation with twisted wonderland here, at least my folder is 60% twst drawings i made for my fanfic at the time LOL. Not so many style jumps here tho so let's keep going

2021 and 2022 here! at the second half of 2022 i found my oh so beloved crunchy brush and i also fell hard for Arashi Narukami, so basically my tumblr became an arashi fanpage lol

stuff at 2023 keeps pretty the same until now tbh, the only highlight would be the re-inclusion of noses bc of spiderverse 2. My style also has been pretty well maintained since i started doing commissions so i don't really do so much experimentation anymore, at least not with proportions and such.

alr so that was my journey on artstyle! Of course it's not like you're gonna guess all my process just by looking at the images so i'll say what type of stuff i feel influenced my decisions.

i'm very lazy and for a log time i just abandoned my projects if it prolonged more than a day or two, that obviously made me lean into the cel/plain shading rather than spending hours and maybe days rendering (not that i don't try rendering every now and then but i don't enjoy spending so much time in a single piece)

everyone around me always has been extremely supportive so i had the privilege of dedicating all my soul to drawing silly characters haha, i feel like since i never felt the need of comparing myself to others i could actually experiment so unapologetically with my style until i was satisfied

finding an actual brush that i like is always crucial to me tbh, even in traditional i'm pretty picky with how the ink and type of pen i'm using. Of course, i also tried multiple traditional art techniques (watercolor, acrylics, crayons, pencils, pastels, my favorite are pen+markers)

i dont like feets. that shows until today.

in general i think an artstyle is something extremely personal that every person has to shape themselves and that it can't really be a permanent thing, it's gonna fluctuate with the artist whenever they like it or not.

[ipsen]

Noro and Tatara for the latest character ask please?

a necrophilia ship ask, huh... i'll try my best! LOL

norotara:

when I started shipping it if I did: literally never heard of this ship until you brought it up. very interesting, if a bit difficult to do so

my thoughts: well, it's another black and white aesthetic-type ship, and features the two quietest aogiri members. They're both very efficient in their own ways, and i like the image of tatara helping noro feed since the latter is... out of commission. tatara learning to care for a walking corpse because everyone he loves is already dead... there's something there.

What makes me happy about them: Well that's pretty easy. clears throat

ETO'S DAD IS ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD HE'S ALL I WANT, AND I'M OBSESSED JUST A TAD ETO CAN'T YOU SEE? YOUR DAD'S JUST THE GUY FOR ME I KNOW IT MIGHT BE BAD BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH ETO'S DAD

What makes me sad about them: they can't kiss with all the masks and rotting skin :(

things done in fanfic that annoys me: what fanfics

things I look for in fanfic: WHAT FANFICS

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: houji and shiono, i guess? i don't know.

My happily ever after for them: A quiet life, much like their demeanors, and surrounded by those who care about them, even if it doesn't amount to much.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: tatara is the big spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: relaxing in silence. there's a comfort to being understood without speaking.

----

:P here's the character versions

noro

How I feel about this character: Eto's dad, and an underexplored individual. I write him like he holds a few anti-imperialistic views that Eto would eventually inherit, since a journal from a dead woman isn't enough in my eyes. Also was extremely intelligent and only really lacked a proper education.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uh...

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him and Eto! I think they're neat together :]

My unpopular opinion about this character: Uh...... he's not very scary....?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wanted his backstory with Eto explored. I need to know his parallels to Ryouko Fueguchi right now.

my OTP: him and shiono :] (half joking)

my cross over ship: none

a headcanon fact: when eto was at the orphanage, he pretended to be a stuffed mannequin in the corner of the broom closet. also, when he was noroi, he made a mean hamburger steak.

----

tatara

How I feel about this character: very cool! he should get his own spinoff series because he's almost a main character in like, a shounen or something i dunno LOL

All the people I ship romantically with this character: scratches head i mean kousuke houji is right there. why not. i intimately get it. i wonder why. also putting in a vote for one-sided etora. i want him prostrating himself before her, only for her to do nothing about it. i want that man like a doused, wounded dog.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: him and ayato :] little brother stand-in.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i guess... i like that he was killed by t-owl? giving him his wish of dying at houji's hand while allowing him to "get away" with all the things he did to get there would be kinda messed up.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want to know about his relationships with arima and eto. who were they to him, and how did he fit into aogiri's power structure?

my OTP: sure i'll say houtata

my cross over ship: idk

a headcanon fact: he got his mouth sewn shut by eto, but she grew bored and never really finished the job. take that as you will.

----

thanks for the ask! LOL

[cieloclercs]

Could we possibly get a sneak peek of the next sliding doors chapter?? 😉

here it is! a little snippet of domestic life with joão and esperanza… i’m saving the party scenes for when i publish the full chapter (aka they’re only in first draft stage at the moment, sorry 🫠)

read under the cut!

João hadn't bothered going back to his apartment when he arrived back from Liverpool. He went straight to Esperanza's. She was waiting for him inside, halfway through her newest painting (a commission from Mrs Davies of one of her many cats — this had become a regular occurrence since the woman found out Esperanza was a painter, and she would pay her a pretty decent sum for her efforts too). João was used to the chaos of Esperanza's apartment by now. Most of the time when he went round to see her, she would be mid-project, with her brushes and paints scattered everywhere, an old, baggy shirt framing her figure and nothing but a pencil, twisted into the curls, holding her hair into a bun on the back of her head. Her apartment almost always smelled like coffee and acrylic paint. It wasn't exactly something João had ever thought he would love as much as he did — but it just felt like Esperanza.

The story was much the same when he finally got back to the apartment complex. He knocked on her door but didn't wait for an answer before opening it (neither of them bothered anymore). Esperanza was inside, hunched over a canvas with a concentrated frown on her face and some classical piece playing softly through the speakers she always kept on the kitchen cabinet. She didn't hear him as he stepped into the room. João smiled. He'd been expecting it. She was lost to the world when she painted.

"Is that for Mrs Davies?" João's voice cut through the gentle lull or piano keys and strings. Esperanza looked up. Her frown cleared, revealing a smile like the sun when she caught sight of him.

"Yep." she nodded, struggling to her feet and dusting off her knees. They too were splattered with paint, "She's paying me sixty to do a big one of — what was his name again? — Oh, Mr Whiskers. That woman has so many cats I can't keep track."

João walked forward to stand beside her, kissing her sweetly, and looked down at the painting laid out on the floor. Just like everything Esperanza did, it was immaculate. He couldn't quite fathom just how talented she was: and just how fortunate he was to be the man in her life. In all honesty, João wasn't entirely sure what she saw in him, but at this point, he'd just take the win.

"Mrs Davies has a black cat?" he asked, scrunching up his nose in faint horror. In Esperanza's painting the cat was certainly a black one; with wide, stare-into-your-soul type of green eyes that somehow, from within the canvas, seemed to follow him when he shifted his gaze. João shuddered. He'd never been much of a cat person to begin with, but black cats were a step too far.

"Yeah, it freaks me out too." Esperanza giggled softly at the look on his face, "And I'm not usually a superstitious person, but this cat is scary. Don't tell Mrs Davies I said that."

João nodded distractedly. He'd lost his train of thought as soon as her heard her light, bubbling laugh. It was becoming one of his favourite sounds, he had recently discovered. He forfeited any capability of continuing the conversation, left with nothing but a stupid smile on his face and a blank mind. Only Esperanza ever seemed to be able to render him absolutely speechless, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. A lot of the time, she didn't even have to do anything. João was just enamoured with her. That was all it took.

Esperanza's fingers clicked in front of his face, breaking him out of his trance. He'd been staring, it seemed, because now she was gazing up at him with a questioning smile. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Most of the time when João visited Esperanza's, he was more than happy to just watch her paint. In fact, that had been a specific request of his the last few times he'd been round. On the cold, rainy days when it was simply too miserable to go anywhere, they'd sit on Esperanza's living room floor, listening to the patter or raindrops on the window as her paintbrush glided masterfully across the canvas. There was something so peaceful about it; so intimate. Neither of them felt the need to fill the silence in those moments. Just being in each others' presence — close enough to hold — was more than enough.

five days until i leave school 🤭🤭

[greatbigbellies]

2023 PREGNANCY KINK ADVENT CALENDAR (DAY 9)

The Maternity Seamstress: 2nd Trimester.

Reily was pretty used to repeat customers. A lot of her business came from what was by some metrics, a small group of people who used her services regularly. There were of course passers by and one-offs, but usually if she saw someone once, she’d see them again at some point. This was why she was surprised that, having received the altered dress, Heilie never came back. She thanked Reily for her work, and paid her quite handsomely, but it had been nearly three months, and no one had even spoken her name. Given hailie’s situation, Reily kind of expected to see her again, with more formalwear in need of loosening. Hailie seemed like the highbrow mover and shaker type, so Reily assumed that future events would mean more work. But she had been wrong…

Until today, that is. She was in the back, balancing the books, expecting to close up shop within the hour, when the entrance bell rang, signaling a customer. Excited to have an excuse to not keep doing boring finance work, she sprang out of her chair, quickly stepping into the storefront. “Good evening! Welcome to Pins and Needles!” she smiled as she came out. As soon as she made eye contact with the woman entering her store, she remembered her from  what felt like so long ago. “Hello, I’m not sure if you recall, but I commissioned you to alter a dress for me some time ago?” greeted the tall woman, a dress draped over her arms, hanging in front of her.

Reily nodded, her expression staying friendly but shifting slightly to be less “customer service-esque”, as she knew this wasn’t some stranger she needed to win business from. “Yeah! Hailie right? It’s good to see you! What brings you in?” she asked. Hailie just smiled and held the dress to the side, revealing her mid-term baby bump. “This. I’ve been invited to a sort of throwback party with a group that I’ve known for a while, so I thought it’d be fitting to wear the same dress I wore several years ago, only I was considerably less pregnant several years ago,” she smirked. Reily snuck a glance at Hailie’s bump. She was wearing a modest maternity blouse, but if she didn’t remember Hailie was carrying triplets, she’d assume she was markedly farther along.

Reily nodded, gesturing toward the counter, “Let me get a look at the dress. Were my alterations on the last one suitable?” she asked. Hailie nodded, laying out the new gown “It fit, though it was more on the snug side. This one will definitely need more breathing room,” she sighed. Reily tugged at the fabric on this piece, it had much less stretch then the last one. No elasticity meant she had much less margin for error, which meant she’d need to be on point with her adjustments. “I can work with this, but I’ll certainly need more measurements to size it right. It’ll also probably take me some time to track down fabric in this color but, it’s feasible. When do you need this by?” she asked. Hailie bit her lip as she thought, “About three weeks, which is unfortunately enough time that you’ll need to add another inch to the waistline just to be safe,” she replied, gesturing to her bump. Reily nodded, taking a few notes. “I still have most of your measurements from last time but… I will need some new ones for your torso,” she said, almost apologetically.

Hailie shrugged, “I’d be amazed if you didn’t. Do you have time tonight?” she asked. Reily nodded and invited her back, “Of course, right this way!” she led her into her work space. Hailie followed suit, a slight waddle to her gait. She definitely seemed to be moving slower, and the poor thing still had months to go. Reily grabbed her tape measure and turned to Hailie. “I… don’t mean to make this awkward but, your blouse is thick enough that it might throw off my measurements. Could I… have you lift it for just a minute?” she asked, a little embarrassed. She wasn’t sure why she felt weird about it, she had asked customers to remove clothing plenty of times before, sometimes it was necessary for getting the right measurements. Making the pregnant lady do it felt a little different though.

Hailie silently nodded, blushing a little, and rolled up her blouse. Without the extra mass of her top, Hailie’s belly almost seemed a little smaller, but it was still visibly pregnant. Her belly button was very shallow, and directly above it a small scar betrayed the former location of a navel piercing. Around her hips and lower tummy, small pink stretchmarks had taken root, and were slowly spreading up her skin. Reily tried to stifle her own blush as she wrapped the tape around Hailie’s warm belly. Her waist was 34 inches around at the biggest point, her hips, 34… Reily silently jotted the numbers down, stealing one last glance at Hailie’s tummy before the blouse slid down to cover it again.

“I’ll get to work on the alterations. Again, I expect it to be done in about a week,” Reily finally said, using her professionalism to cut the awkward silence. Hailie smiled and nodded, the rose blush fading from her cheeks. “Thank you for all of your hard work. I’m lucky to know someone who knows her way around a dress,” she complimented. Reily smiled as she led her customer out to the front of he store. “I’m lucky to have such lovely customers,” she hummed back.

The ladies said their goodbyes and Hailie waddled out the way she came. Reily wondered if she’d get to see her at full term. Taking a non-maternity dress and altering it to fit someone triplet heavy at full term would be a very intense challenge, but not impossible. She shook her head. Such an order wasn’t likely. She took another look at the dress she’d been given, and started brainstorming.

[elfbingo]

booboo, how are you?

fav MHA character(s) and why? least favorite? who do you ship?

I gotta know

Working hard on all my projects! That's why it took me a few days to get to this. Apologies!

Now, on to your questions! If you were looking for short answers you asked the wrong person. Abandon all hope ye who enter here!

I’ll get to the shorter answers first:

“Who do you ship?”- Let me preface this by stating that I don't really care about ships, canon or otherwise. Like… at all. It takes a LOT to make me care about a romance in any story. Luckily, MHA is an action-shonen anime, so not a lot of that going on. However, I will try to put some more thought into this topic than I usually do. 

If we’re talking confirmed canon ships (discounting married couples), the only two I can even think of are Midoriya/Ochako and Denki/Jiro. I’m sure there are others, but MHA is (thankfully) very light on romance, so those two seem to be the only ones that have actually been confirmed as canon. (Forgive me if I’m wrong; I literally had to Google “canon MHA ships”.) Midoriya/Ochako is cute, and I love their dynamic. I think they'd be a good/healthy couple, but they're perfectly fine just as friends. Denki/Jiro is also sort of cute, a little more on the “belligerent sexual tension” side, but there’s not nearly as much to work with. That may be because these two don’t get as much focus as characters, I don’t know. Overall, the students in this show are more mature than their peers, so they’ve had to be more thoughtful about their futures and life decisions. They’re also still just kids. Adolescent relationships almost never last irl, and in fiction they seem to be portrayed in a similarly shallow vein, so I see no point getting invested.

If we’re talking non-canon, it’s still not my thing. I kind of low-key ship All Might/Inko Midoriya, but ONLY if Hisaishi Midoriya was out of the picture (I HATE cheating, even in fiction). That’s probably about it. I steer clear of shipping wars, so I’m not going to get into any of the other non-canon ships. I don’t care enough to paint a target on myself. 

The ships I really care about are the friendships. I'm way more into those, and found family! MHA is full of both, which is one of the many reasons I love it! (If you want to know who I “ship” in terms of “friendships” I’ll post a follow-up answer for that.) 

“Least favorite characters?”- I’m going to qualify my answer by setting aside characters you’re meant to dislike/hate (i.e. the villains/the Hero Safety Commission). Of those left, Mineta might be the only character I actively dislike. I think his design is fun, and his quirk is offbeat, but his personality is mostly awful. If he was a villain, or just some random background person, he wouldn’t grate as much. But Mineta is supposed to be funny and sympathetic. I don't hate him, I just... That character type (95% pervert) has never appealed to me, no matter the series. I'm glad he's gotten a bit better in the last few arcs, but it's been too little, too late for me to really like him. 

I also found Monoma irritating, but he’s gotten better.

Now onto my “long” answer. You have been warned! 

“Fav MHA character(s)?”- I have to say, a big part of the reason I love most of the characters in this show is the translation/VA work, as well as the animation. This may be the best English VA cast for a show I’ve ever heard, and the translation is exceptional. 

Aside from that, I love (or love to hate) pretty much all the main and side characters in the whole series. I think they all have something interesting to contribute to the story, even if they’re only in one scene. On the “villain” side, Twice is arguably my favorite, but I find all the main baddies compelling, and even some of the minor ones. On the “hero” side, the class 1-A kids have a special place in my heart, along with Mirio, Tamaki, All Might and Aizawa. 

However, if I have to pick favorites, my top 3 are Midoriya, Todoroki and Kirishima; not necessarily in that order. And that’s only if I have to really whittle it down, because the top tier would be even larger otherwise. (I do love a good ensemble!) Since you asked my reasons for picking my favorite(s), and I’m trying hard not to write an essay, I shall break it down thusly:

TODOROKI

Cool quirk!

Fun to draw

Half-and-half hair

Has scar; I want to hug him

Hidden sweet side

Also sassy

Overall bishonen looks without being aware of it (or not caring)

Dual personality like his quirk: cool-headed warrior/socially awkward teen 

Takes some things literally (with amusing results)

Curb-stomps multiple thugs at USJ like it's nothing

Snarks at said thugs about how they should be embarrassed

Loves his mum

Screw the rules, I’m doing what’s right!

Will throw hands if you hurt his friends

Terrible upbringing, still wants to be a hero like All Might

 Every reason to be villain but is Good Boi

Tells it like it is

Also worries about others

Stoic boy becomes soft boy with friends

Will do what it takes to be his best, even if it means working with abusive dad

Willing to forgive those who have hurt him

Admits and overcomes his weaknesses

Never gives up!

KIRISHIMA

Cinnamon roll

Sunshine boi 

Fun to draw

HIS EYES

Shark teeth

2 hairstyles, both cute!

Loyal

Sees the good in others (even Bakugo)

Worries about his friends

Not afraid to cry/be emotional

Positive manliness!

Devotion to chivalrous outlook is PRECIOUS

Works hard to improve

Protective quirk, protective heart

Super helpful

Overcoming insecurities to become a true hero!

Risks death to save lives

Always ready to help

Dad/son vibes with Fat Gum

Empathizes with others, even villains!

Consistently rises to the occasion

Knows others may have “flashier” quirks but still does his best

Looks terrifying in battle/is soft boi irl

Anyone that can put up with Bakugo as equals…

Keeps Lord Explosion Murder (somewhat) in line

Just overall seems like he gives excellent hugs

MIDORIYA

Cinnamon roll

Nerdy nerd nerd

Socially awkward

Freckles

Expressive eyes

Floof child

Mumbles to himself 24/7

Loves his mum

Fun to draw

Emotional without being annoying

Forgiving nature

Wants to be a hero to help others

Risked death as quirkless kid to save his bully

Always tries to do what’s right

Gains most powerful quirk and uses it for good

Seriously- every reason to be villain but is Good Boi

Willing to work harder than anyone to get where he is now

Lifelong outsider who helps others reevaluate their quirks’ potential

Bullied relentlessly and still didn’t give up hope for a better world

Dad/son relationship with All Might is GOLD

Big Brother vibes with Eri are made of diabetes

All his friendships… ALL OF THEM

Goes feral if you hurt his friends

Will go feral if you hurt total strangers

Smol boi, BIG PUNCH

Broken every bone in his body? Uses “Blackwhip Froppy Style” 

Seriously, nothing stops this kid. I love him so much!

I hope this answers all your questions. I did try not to go overboard, but… eh. 

[raccoondude]

Please Read + Requests Are Open

MINORS DNI.

Warnings for just the entirety of my account: I write and draw dark shit. If anyone is sensitive to things relating to sexual content, mental health, violence, abuse, etc please don't go further.

DO NOT REPOST ANYTHING I MAKE. MY SIGNATURE IS ON EVERY ART PIECE AND I HAVE ALL ORIGINAL DOCS FOR MY FICS.

Also, do not harass anyone for any questions they may ask. Do not hate on others for their views, their sexuality, their gender, race, disabilities, etc.

Basic Info:

Hello! I'm Raccoon! I go by he/they/she pronouns interchangeably, there's no preference. I'm bisexual (kinda obvious by my banner) and I have an amazing girlfriend.

I'm a relatively new writer and artist. I've been drawing anatomy and characters for about a year. I've been writing on and off for about 2 years, but I've really focused on writing a lot more recently.

I don't take commissions. Any requests I can't guarantee I'll do. I'm very busy and I'll only do things that interest me.

I don't stray away from showing the messiness of mental illness, manipulation, and abuse in my writing and art. But I will never romanticize it. I'm perfectly ok with smut, nsfw, bdsm, etc. I'm willing to answer pretty much any questions about anything about things I write and draw.

General Rules For Requests/Questions:

No pedophilia or sexualization of anyone underage for obvious reasons.

No scat, watersports, or anything like that. It grosses me out on a visceral level

No fetishization of lesbians, gays, or the lgbtq community in general. This has happened to my girlfriend and I (I'm AFAB), it's super uncomfortable.

No fetishization of races. Need I explain?

No incest or step-siblings or anything like that. It's gross, like they're family, whether by blood or not.

Nothing homophobic, racist, etc (unless you're asking how someone would react to it or it's plot-based, it can't come from a place of genuine hate). I've been called slurs by random people for having a girlfriend and appearing androgenous, it's not cool.

No demonization/denial of mental health, I've had enough people deny mental health or demonize it in my life.

No conspiracy theories like flat earth or shit like that, it just annoys me when people are uneducated and dumb.

Absolutely no pregnancy. Just no. It freaks me out and honestly it disgusts me to think about being pregnant. Nothing against pregnant people or anything like that, it's your choice, I'm not bashing anyone for getting pregnant. It just makes me really uncomfortable to write, read, or draw.

No glorification of self-harm. I hate glorification of self harm to such a deep extent. It's not something to glorify.

Please try to keep the main ship as x reader. Like I'll do other ships or even focus on other ships, but x reader catches my attention more and it's more fun for me to write.

Don't ask if/when I'm updating. It's irritating and I have no control over my fixations and motivation.

Don't offer constructive criticism. Please. I genuinely don't care. I don't care if you're a professional writer or artist, I'm trying to figure things out on my own and I'm content with that. If I want help and advice, I'll ask.

I rarely do nsfw art, I'll do implied or suggestive things when it comes to art. If I do draw something like nudity, I'll post it, but no sex acts since it goes against ToS.

Fandoms I'm in:

Creepypasta

JJK

MHA

Gravity Falls

The Owl House

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Pokemon

Descendants

Wuthering Waves

I will write for (almost) any characters in these fandoms.

I love args, puzzles, and theories as well, so sometimes I'll post theories about whatever.

What Types Of Requests/Questions Am I most Likely To Respond To?

I'll gladly do one shots if they interest me enough.

Answer questions about creepypasta characters using my take on the characters.

Write drabbles about other's head cannons.

Helpful ideas/thoughts about characters

Interesting art ideas.

Questions about characters, why I made them how I made them, headcanons, and anything else with characters. Questions about world building, descriptions of places, a world's history, and anything else with worlds and backgrounds. Finally, questions about my art process, why I draw like I do, and anything else with my art are welcome. These are the types of questions I'm most likely to answer.

This is a safe, judgement-free zone. I will not judge anyone for their requests or questions. Unless they're mean or hateful. Then I'm judging you. I will not respond to any hateful or mean messages though.

Currently Working On (Writing):

Life Goes On: A Creepypasta fanfic (I will post it on my various platforms when it's completely done)

Currently Working On (Art):

A cover for my fic

Drawings for a couple things on my fic

A drawing for one of my friend's fic

Various OC drawings

Where else am I?

To be updated when I actually post on there.

[writer-kermit]

“Say Click! Take a Pic!”

ʚ No. 20 ɞ - Dialogue SFW/NSFW Prompt

❥ PAIRING: DIEGO ARMANDO x JAKE MARSHALL

❥ GENRE: SMUT

❥ REQUESTED OR SELF-MADE: REQUESTED

❥ W/C: 837

ঞ SUMMARY: When being on parole, Jake Marshall plans to get a job as a professor at law. He then gets an unexpected call from his past colleague Diego Armando (or Godot). I wonder what their conversation might lead too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

ᰔ KERMIT'S NOTE: Yes I title this the song from Go Diego Go. Anyways this fic was requested by @ladykailolu Check them out rn 😡😡😡. And if you want request then ask away! If you want a commission, then DM. Enjoy!

ᰔᩚ WARNING: NSFW, Teasing, Swearing, Phone Sex, Sensual Contents. MINORS!!! PLEASE GO AWAY!!!

December 3rd, 12:06 AM.

Jake Marshall’s Apartment

“Alright,” Jake Marshall sighed. “That’s enough probation work for today.” He leaned back on his chair to stretch and rested his head against his cold, wooden dining table.

It was his third parole application for his house arrest trial. It was currently midnight. And yet, it seemed like Jake had been working for centuries. He knew he couldn’t be a detective anymore, so being a college professor was his only hope.

He then sat up again to massage his face. “I can’t give up yet…” He said to himself. Jake then opened his laptop and went back to his documents. He titled his doc “The Strengths and Weakness of Being a College Professor of Law.” He started by grabbing his law reports book.

December 3rd, 1:11 AM.

Jake Marshall’s Apartment

Jake had typed nearly sixteen hundred words in an hour. He got his introduction and his paragraph completed. He smiled at his work and pat himself on the back.

It was the first time in years he felt motivated to write anything, let alone a parole document. While he cleaned up, he heard his phone ring from the living room.

“Now who in tarnation is calling me this late at night?” Jake murmured, pacing to get his phone. He looked at the log to see a familiar name: Diego Armando (Or Godot), Jake’s former colleague.

Ecstatic that Godot called, Jake answered him. “Evening Armando,” Jake exclaimed, “How’ve ya been? You’ve applied for any jobs or hobbies yet?” Godot let a deep sigh before talking, making Jake feel uneasy.

“Evening Marshall…” Godot said. “I’ve been doing well. I got transferred to house arrest and got a job as a barista at the local cafe.”

"That’s great partner. I’m happy for you.” Jake smiled. “Is there anything else you need to tell me? Since it’s one o’clock and all.” Godot was silent for a while but soon clicked his tongue.

“Armando? You alright over there?” Jake asked again.

“Jake, call me on Facetime, please.”

Hold it!

Godot would never call anyone by their actual name unless he’s in a situation. Without hesitation, Marshall called Armando on Facetime. However, he wasn’t expecting Godot not to be in a conundrum.

When Marshall opened Facetime, he witnessed a flushed and embarrassed Godot, just staring at the other man made his face turned warm.

“A- Armando?” Jake hiccupped. “You okay in there? Do you have a fever?” Godot let out a dark chuckle. “I’m feeling better,” he said, “now that I got to see that pretty face of yours.” This made Marshall’s heart beat fast.

“Very funny Armando.” Jake teased, brushing off Godot’s weird behavior. “But I’m serious,” Godot said. “I missed you, Jake. I missed you so much.” “Oh really? How much then?”

Armando only smiled at Marshall’s teasings. He then placed his phone in a stance position and laid back on the sofa.

Although he was wearing his visor, Godot's face was still feverish. He wore a slim green shirt that hugged his muscles and curves almost completely. His grey sweatpants were pulled down to his knees as he revealed his tented boxers.

Marshall gaped at the picture with shock and sudden arousal. “D-Diego!” He screamed, almost dropping his phone. “My lord… Is this what you do when you think of me?” He asked in disbelief. “Not all the time Jake,” Godot replied. “But I couldn’t help myself. I hunger for you, my love.”

Saying this, Armando pulled down his boxers, revealing his leaking cock. “Been repressing myself all day. But after my number one hundred n’ two blend, I just couldn’t take it any longer.” He stroked his shaft for a few minutes before slowly pumping himself.

“Get this on camera. I want ya to save this for later.”

Marshall only stared at Godot, unsure of what to say. Without knowing, he placed his phone down where Godot can see his full body. He watched carefully as Godot continued. “Hahh… You enjoying yourself babe?” Armando groaned, “You enjoying me touching myself to you?”

Marshall was silent, squirming in his seat. The more he watched Godot, the more his body began to heat up. Jake let his fingers wander down to his pants, his fingers caressing his clothed dick.

“Diego…” He moaned quietly. “I know baby. I want you too….” Armando replied, pumping himself faster.

Marshall followed along with Armando. He pulled his pants and boxers and pumped his leaking dick.

“Fuck… Oh my god, Diego… I’m gonna cum.” Marshall moaned.

“Si si mi amor… Let’s cum together, yeah?” Diego hummed. Marshall let out another hefty moan–just before cumming violently. “Oh fuck…” Godot hissed as he ejaculated as well.

December 3rd, 1:47 AM.

Jake Marshall’s Apartment

“Armando,” Jake sighed. “Never knew you felt this way.” “Be honored, my star,” Godot chuckled, leaning back on his sofa. “When I get outta here, I’m gonna fuck the daylights out of you.” Jake only chuckled and parted his hair.

“We’ll see about that, partner.”

[curamorte]

i'm gon'a get the creepy things lou has been toting around my head lately to see if they're anything viable or if it is secretly elizabeth trying to influence her or talk her way into getting some attention SO! and, after u read, if u do, i'd love to hear your inputs and ideas, too!

when it comes to romantics and romanticism and even intimacy, i'm noticing a pattern of lou going "i want to live in them, i want to be part of them" or vice versa. almost a very literal type where when she knows she's in love, she down horrendous, she starts leaning towards more grotesque shows of affection and the nature. she'd never desecrate a client's body, but embalmed entrails and anything marked to discard she'd probably arrange into "i love you" or a heart or of some "romantic" nature, take a picture, and send to her lover. she'd think about how romantic it would be to give them anesthetic, cut them open a little, she knows enough to perform surgery, take a picture of her holding their heart, vice versa. how romantic! on the lesser side but still creepy, asking for a small snip of hair to put in a special locket she'll wear. asking if they'd like to give her a small sample of blood (she knows enough phlebotomy, she could extract it safely and treat them well afterwards to replenish what was lost) to either make a necklace or a ring of or something of the sort to keep with her as a token. and she'd gladly do the same! in fact, they may be some of the first true romantic love gifts she'd give to someone once in a very committed relationship. her blood, a small braiding of her hair in a locket or pocketwatch. pictures of her in a coffin or covered in blood, chest open with her heart exposed for them.

there's also been the creeping, sneaking suggestion of obsessive behavior when she's in love. maybe keeping too close of tabs. sharing location. only wanting them for herself. or to a degree, wanting that for herself. wanting obsession. her family aren't with her, they have their own priorities and lives. and she's isolated. she'd want for naught but their love and affection and attention. she'd sit pretty for them wherever they want her to wait at.

all a bit unhealthy thoughts and ways to view love as for her i think. elizabeth, for any that know her, is similar in this, but she *is* a serial killer, and currently (tho i do need to reply it's been forever i'm sorry lovely lol) @scftheartiisms and i do have a dynamic going where ellie pretty much is just holding valerie from the world because she now sees her as Her's and wants to keep her for herself. ellie is an obsessive individual, selfish and *creepy*. she Would kill other people for getting near who / what she designates her Her's, and has before.

i don't think lou would ever / could kill somebody? i think if ever it happens, and has happened, is it's out of self defense. life or death. and even then, it's hard to grapple with having taken a life for her. she loves life. loves people. loves the living. she'd hate to be a *cause* of death. she just wants to *care* for the dead, and their living, too. sometimes i think that bleeds together and this is what creates that bit of creepiness. the immediate romanticism of planning a funeral together for her and her partner. of taking morbid, macabre pictures to send or keep as romantic gestures. commissioning her siblings in down seasons for taxidermy projects of bones, skeletons, hearts, or things that resemble a human out of their materials as gifts or shows of affection. blood kink is creeping in there somewhere, i'm sure.

i don't know. i've got a lot of this swimming around up there and lou is like "oooh!" while i'm trying to cover her eyes (and ellie is like "nono, let her see" lol).

[evermore-quoththefangirl]

Random Redacted Headcannons from my AU and Listener OC's

Angel and Starlight are siblings, Angel is the older one

Also, Angel is older than David by like, 2 years, and loves it.

Sweetheart is actually from Georgia but lost their accent after moving away for college. It rarely ever comes out. The first time it does it when they get possed off at Christian at a solstice party for making fun of Milo's height and the most vicious 'bless your heart' falls from their lips. Everyone's in shock.

Sidenote, Sam was there and was smirking because just from those three words in a thick ass accent, he could pinpoint where Sweetheart grew up almost down to the city.

Darlin first shifted during a really bad bout of the flu and didn't even know it. But they'd been next door neighbors with Angel and they made sure their pregnant mom didn't see their friend going back and forth between human and a very small wolf.

Angel is hard of hearing and wears hearing aids, they taught the selectively mute darlin ASL.

(Angel is also a navy brat and retired marine, an accident meant they couldn't continue to serve, its why they have a hard time sleeping during storms.)

Damian also lives across the street from them, his single mom and him lived with his aunt and uncle (navy) until he was in highschool.

Freelancer's best friend outside of the gang from DAMN graduated their first semester but they still talk. It's Cutie.

Freelancer is a very proud genderfluid person and has short little sibling energy, they only chill out in certain situations or in the presence of Angel. (No one really knows why, but that's their big sister now)

Baabe, never to be forgotten, is black. No I don't take criticism. But whenever they redo their hairstyle, Asher helps. (They sort of showed him but he also secretly went to a hair parlor to learn how to do it too.)

Baabe is also a business owner. They're an enigneer/mechanic and do large scale cosplay commissions for the most part. LIke moving things like wings and tails and even tails that are connected to a heart moniter to react to emotions and ears that react to sound and move accordingly.

They went to college with a dude named Marcus, who they haven't heard from since turning down an offer he also got for some secret project.

Angel has the uncanny ability to mimic people's accents

Freelancer is an amazing dancer, loved it to death, and knows all kinds of types from different neighbors they had growing up. This including Classic Indian Bellydancing from a gypsy, bollywood style dancing from the same person, West Coast Swing, Lindy, Ballroom Dancing, both Two Step and Square Dancing, Hula, and Raqs Sharqi from an old middle eastern woman and her daughter. The only she knows of and about but hasn't learned is a Native American dance from a family who'd introduced her to their Tribe when she got lost hiking once and didn't actually learn it out of respect for them after seeing it that night before they took her home the next day.

Cutie is an interior designer and uses their powers to make sure they get what looks good but what the client wants. They've been known to take odd jobs on the side though for empowered people and worked with Shaw Pack Security a few times with high risk jobs that they didn't have much info on.

Starlight and Angel are mixed, their mom is half Brazilian (she was a baby of convince and never learned about her other culture), and while Angel looks pretty mixed, Starlight look just like their mom and studied in Brazil for a while, having the urge to learn about their heritage that Angel never really had.

Starlight is humanborn and has no idea their older sibling knew about empowered people, so despite being super close as kids, they drifted apart when their powers manifested since it was a secret thing. They got pulled in with Avior while going to visit Angel, wanting to rekindle their relationship.

Avior started calling them Starlight because they love mythology, but astronomy (the myths behind them speciffically) is a huge love of theirs.

There will be a aprt two with the boys btw, for now enjoy my offical return to tumvlr after some shit happened and I love my old account. In case you want to know btw, I was Forevermore_Quoth_the_Kitten.

[juleskelleybooks]

Hello, and Welcome!

"My main author presence is on Tumblr," I said boldly while announcing that my Twitter presence was likely to drop off severely now that certain people are in charge of it--all while ignoring that I'm currently in a crisis of confidence about my role as an author and therefore largely ignoring both short- and long-form blogging.

It did result in some Twitter friends following my Tumblr, though, so I wanted to at least say hello. I reblog some inspo here, talk about and promote my work as best as I can, sometimes I talk about the craft (also as best as I can).

(Non-writing stuff goes to my main blog, which is also the one I interact from. Edited to remove the name of it because certain people found my post on Twitter that I don't want having my main tumblr name.)

It also makes a good excuse for me to blargh out some of the thoughts that have been rolling in my head for a while. I try to maintain a largely positive presence on social media, and not talk about the emotional downsides of things, and part of that is because I've seen a lot of young writers fall into only complaining, and it's not fun to witness or be part of and doesn't do any good--and part of it is because I didn't want anyone to think that I was trying to spur anyone into action to alleviate my negative emotions, because that's a cultural thing where I'm from.

But I also wonder from time to time if I'm doing people a disfavor. I'm not particularly successful as an author, but I'm not unsuccessful. I have an agent, a contract, some published works, a backlist even if it is out of print and in process of being reworked. I've moved on to a step that a lot of people who are just starting out aren't on. I'm not on anyone's bestseller list, but I've witnessed people I don't personally know referencing my work casually, and that's a thrill, let me tell you. ("Anybody have anything like Jules Kelley's "Swelter"?" I saw on Twitter once, and I have that thing screencapped.)

And I do know there's a place where people are in their writing journey where all that seems like it will feel good, and feel successful. And in a way, it does. But also, it doesn't stop me from feeling like a failure as an author.

I know I'm a pretty good writer, but as an author? Oof. I'm bad at marketing, I'm bad at identifying trends, I'm bad at identifying comps, I don't read nearly as much as I should, I almost NEVER read in my "own" genre -- hell, I can't even neatly be fitted into a genre most of the time because what I really like is "weird character development wallowy stuff with heavy romantic and sexual elements, in various settings." So it's very hard to actually get my work in front of the audience that might best appreciate it (a very narrow category of people, most of whom were probably X-Files fanfic enthusiasts back in the day), and it doesn't help that I HAD an audience when I first started publishing, and then had to go on a mental health break for ten years and came back with a new penname, persona, and quirky tropes that are offputting to a lot of people in that audience. (Did you know how many romance reader type people hate bisexual men who have a female partner, and polyamorous romances? It's a lot.)

So I spend a lot of time feeling like a disappointment to my agent and editors (whether they feel that way or not is unknown) and wondering if I ought to just cut them loose and only self-publish, so the only person I have to disappoint is myself. I already write primarily what I would like to read, so there's some satisfaction in putting that out there. I'm also thrilled at literally anyone who reads, reviews, or talks about my work -- I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful. I'm just well aware my sales numbers are disappointing to the people who are paid on commission for my work, and who invested time and money into my work.

So anyway. Uh, welcome to my tumblr, my crisis of faith, and my inspo and ramblings for weird stories that maybe not a lot of people will ever read but that I'm happy to write.

[kyrodo]

So Pharayaki, he's the one requesting a commission after finding my Mayu in an avatar world because I didn't set it private. While helpful, the next meeting or two later he's saying he can't "be himself while my so's are around" and that I'm his pet all of a sudden. Which I never agreed to nor have we even remotely approached the idea, it was a spontaneous possessive decision on his end entirely.

My only clues, he likes the name "Kyrodo Rivare Blackheart" saying it sounds like a rich person name or aristocratic. He's a huge fan of the character design, enough he just wants a red a black version of it. He doesn't have money right now. Which being 26 I'd expect him to at least have a source of income if nothing else. Other than that completely out of the blue. His audio quality is not the greatest at least on desktop so it can be hard to understand him sometimes. I just cut mystical for bothering Lupy.

I don't like the idea of someone wanting to be alone with me looking for chances when Red or Choskey isn't around. Choskey is around me almost 24/7, so that doesn't happen regardless. Red straight up lives with me, but more importantly I don't find Phara particularly likeable. Gato when he was mute and being sweet with me, hugging/nuzzling me for 20 minutes straight, swaying his tail while laying next to me I could like him very easily. Very expressive yet wordless flirting.

Phara just comes in and says you're my kitty. No lead up or anything. I don't care for his voice or anything. And intent pretty overtly laid out with very little subtlety or grace. No. I warm up very easily to Lupy and his careful petting sensitive to phantom sense with petting being the only drug that helps with his depression, Gato acting extremely cute, and Shine for pretty much being my equal as a cat that's particularly addicted to meowing nuzzling and licking with me.

Phara is paradropping into the wrong waters blind without any appeal whatsoever. Just wait for the commission quietly my dude or buzz off.

I've been a sucker for spontaneous affections lately but it's definitely a recipe thing. She's still using a microwave and the wrong ingredients. While it's hard to point out specifically everything you don't like about someone I don't. Of compared to other experiences that are similar but more meaningful or more sweeter, she's like instant coffee.

And to rehash I hooked onto Red extremely early in life. Enough that I feel like I missed on a lot of borderline gay experiences and such that I wish I got to experience before getting into the relationship itself. Basically the kind of relationship Denso and kuroshi have, or the kind dragozy and Beastner had where they weren't together but acted like it a lot as part of their teasing banter. The bachelor experience. Which is a very silly thing to want as opposed to the full on relationship I got instead, but I watch people play out these borderline romances that could very easily grow into a relationship but hasn't been decided yet, and I get really jealous. I get jealous about the step before that I completely skipped over. Because I'm too timid and lack the type of loose personality that would be able to express it well and make it fun.

So that is the experience I wish I could have more than anything. I've got enough relationship, I just want people to sit in the outskirts with me and fool around for fun. Bond with me without bonding with me, be playful, be affectionate but not committed. Shine. Gato.

I lack the abrasiveness, the social confidence, the teasy demeanor, the desire to erp, etc. That I can't really pull it off in most cases. I'm not like Denso, Beastner, wolfangcerberus or ttv_lonewolf. I can only do shy stuff when I'm being playful or flirty, unless I'm doing stupid shit on Twitter. I admire it but I can't do it, and I'm mated so no one would want to in most cases even try. People will always be hyper aware of my relationship that such playful banter wouldn't even form. Shine will lick Choskey with me to show their awareness of him and courteousness. Shine is the closest. Phara still doesn't realize I am never alone.