#i almost cried today because I’m so overwhelmed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

darnell-la · 4 months ago

Note

Could you write something Logan x reader where she uses a safe word? Like usually she is fine and enjoys the rougher play but for whatever reason she is overwhelmed or gets scared. Maybe she is embarrassed or feels bad for it because she doesn’t want him to blame himself or something

note: our most active author's birthday was yesterday, so we’ve been pretty busy. we apologize for the gap in our posting but trust me, we have a lot of posts coming. stay tuned!

btw, I gave you guys a lil tease at the end…

———

Today has been a long day of teaching for y/n. She hoped to come home and rest, but Logan also had a bad day. Usually, when he does, he needs to kiss, feel, or be in y/n to relax.

“I’ve missed you all day. Damn kids always pushin’ my buttons,” Logan spoke low in the crook of y/n’s neck as his hips slowly moved.

“You just take all of my stress away, baby. Love you so much,” Logan growled, now snapping his hips. He loved the feeling of her growing wet underneath him. He loved her so much.

Y/n let out a small and soft moan, enjoying the pleasure, but she still felt off. She hadn’t told Logan she wanted a break today, because the man looked more stressed than usual.

“You sound so beautiful, baby. Can’t get enough,” the man rolled his hips in the right spot, getting him close to his climax.

As he was thrusting, he realized y/n hadn’t come yet. “C’mon, baby. Cum on me. Wanna feel you,” the ma buried his face into her neck to bite down a bit, just how she liked it, but right now, she felt off.

“Fuck, baby, c’mon! C’mon!” The man growled, snapping his hips at a fast and hard pace. “L-Logan,” y/n stuttered, feeling the pleasure but more pain since her body was working against her.

“Yes, baby, that’s it. That’s it!” Logan placed one hand next to Y/n’s head and used the other to grip her waist, pulling her body into his thrust.

“S-Stop,” y/n begged low, not knowing if she should stop the man, or let him relax. “Ssh, baby — So fuckin’ close,” the man said as his cock twitched in her.

Y/n tried keeping herself together, knowing this would only last several more thrusts, but her eyes began to tear.

“R-Red,” y/n said low, instantly, making Logan slow his hips down. “Red!” Y/n cried out. Logan quickly pulled out of y/n and pushed himself off of the bed.

Logan went to speak, but he cut himself off after seeing y/n curl up on their shared bed. He was afraid he did something wrong. He didn’t know if he should comfort her or stay back.

“Bub?” Logan asked, voice soft so he wouldn’t alarm her. “Baby? A-Are you okay?” He asked as he slowly crawled on the bed to look over her curled body.

“Y-Yes, I just need time,” Y/n said, shutting her eyes tighter in embarrassment. How could she stop her own husband as he got closer to finishing, just because she had a bad day at work.

“O-Okay, sweetheart, just- I’m here if you need anything, okay?” He asked as y/n slowly turned around. “No, no, don’t leave. I-I didn’t mean it,” Y/n said as she rubbed her tears away.

“Just a bad day at work. It’s nothing serious, so we can continue-“ Logan cut her off before she could continue. “Nah uh, we’ll continue tomorrow. Let’s just relax for right now, okay?” He said as she went to pull y/n down to lay with him, but she refused.

“No, no, I’m fine! I swear, we can keep going. I-It’s not that serious-“ Before she could continue again, he got her off. “It is serious if you’re shouting safe words, y/n,” Logan said.

Y/n stayed silent at his tone, not knowing how to respond.

“Baby, if you’re not down to make love, you gotta tell me. I see you every day, almost all day. I can take a little break to just lay and look into your pretty eyes,” Logan sat up and rubbed y/n’s wet cheek.

“I know, it’s just-“ y/n was cut off again. “No! No, I don’t want to hear it. C’mere and lay down, before I get upset. Mhmkay?” The man said as he laid back again, waiting for her to do the same, and so she did.

“I’m not relaxed unless you are, princess. Need my baby fully in the mood when I touch her. No exceptions. No matter how much I need to taste you,”

“But, I want you to finish,” y/n said, looking up at the man who she knew needed to release. “Baby, don’t worry about me. I can live until tomorrow or whenever you feel better,” the man said, but it was hard to ignore his hard-on against her body as they lay together.

“C-Can I watch you? I just don’t feel like doing anything, you know? But I can watch you,” she said, feeling a bit awkward, but she couldn’t lie and say she didn’t want to satisfy her man a little tonight.

“Baby, I think you should rest-“ This time, before he could dish, y/n cut him off. “Please, baby? You were so close,” Y/n said as she dragged her hand up his long and thick shaft.

“Fuck,” the man breathed out, feeling his coco twitch instantly. He was painfully hard and leaking out of his tip worse than she’d ever seen before. If he didn’t cum now, he would’ve been in his sleep.

“Fine, but don’t touch me anymore, baby. Feels too good, and I want you to rest,” Logan said as he removed her hand and replaced it with his own.

Logan began fishing his cock slowly, stroking her leftover wetness on his cock to make his hand glide smoother.

“Mhm hm,” Logan tried holding his moan in, feeling a bit off that he was the only one moaning, but when he looked to the side to see y/n’s eyes lust over him storming himself, he let them out.

“Fuck, baby — Not even touchin’ me and I feel like I’m goin’ crazy for you,” Logan said in between his grunts. Y/n placed a hand on his lower stomach, teasing him even after he said to now to uh her anymore.

“What did I say, princess? D-Don’t touch me. Just relax,” he said, but she ignored him and slightly scratched at his skin. “Augh fuck,” the man let out, hips fucking upwards as he felt himself near.

Logan’s feet curled, as his legs pointed in-word, letting y/n know he was right there. “That’s it, baby,” Y/n said, and that was it for Logan.

Logan groaned loudly, fist staying in place as his grip tightened around himself. Cum shot out of him and painted all over his thighs, abs, chest, and y/n’s hands and arms.

Y/n talked the man through his high, trying something new as she stroked his face. Logan accepted it all, softly placing his hand on her hand as he shook and caught his breath.

Logan never knew someone could make him feel this crazy with minimal touch. He’s fallen harder than he was before.

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arlana-likes-to-write · 7 months ago

Text

You Look Happier

Part 4 of the Family, Pawns, and Sins of the Family

Summary: After every thing you've been though, it's time to move forward. While doing just that you run into a unlikely friend that looks past the scars you bare.

Warning: panic attack, mention of past abuse, suicidal thoughts, fluff, Kamala is a joy and I love her, small scene of a guy grabbing the reader, mention of nightmares, facing past abusers in court.

Word Count: 5.4k

Note: Ignore the fact that I said the next chapter of Second Chance will be posted today, I finished this one shot instead lol. Also, this will probably be the last part of this!

Healing was not linear. If this whole experience taught you one thing, it was that. Some days were good. They were great. You smiled and laughed without restraint. Those good days bleed into good weeks. Then, the darkness over your shoulder would rear its ugly head. All your hard work to overcome everything seemed pointless when you couldn’t leave your bed and your moms stayed by your side out of fear you would hurt yourself. There were close calls. The overwhelming urge sometimes became too much. You wanted to feel anything besides their hands on you.

Tonight was the end of a terrible day. You shut down after your therapy appointment. The mid-afternoon nap you took was ruined by a nightmare, and the court called, and they needed you to testify against Principal Cook. It was not your day. Still, you managed to pull yourself out of bed when the Avengers came over for a cookout. You sat at the fire pit with a marshmallow on the end of the stick. The flames engulfed the sticky treat and fell into the fire. Sighing, you blew out the flame and leaned back into the chair. You pulled the blanket to your chin and watched the get-together.

“Hey bug,” Natasha slid next to you. The chair was big enough for you two to sit comfortably without touching it, but you folded it against her. You buried your face in her shoulder and felt her hand draw shapes on your back. “How are you feeling?” Lying was never an option when they asked you this question. They would rather have the brutal, honest truth than a lie. It was a hard thing to overcome in the beginning.

“I’m,” Tired. Sad. Angry. “Struggling.” You sighed.

“Yeah,” Natasha kissed your forehead. “Today was a lot.” You nodded against her.

“Have you heard from the lawyers?” It was Natasha’s turn to sigh and kiss your forehead again.

“Not yet. They are talking with Cook’s defense team and hoping the man will take a plea deal.” You nodded and closed your eyes. The constant motion and her soft humming almost sent you to sleep. “Your mama and I have to go to the tower tomorrow. Is it okay to have your therapy session online?” The other thing was they refused to let you stay home alone on terrible days. It made sense. Through all of this, they wanted you to be safe.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “That’s fine.” There was no need to open your eyes because you knew there was a smile on her face.

“I love you, our firefly.”

“I love you too, mom.”

Today was better. Your therapist let you discuss your relationship with Wanda, Natasha, and the twins. It was a breath of fresh air to talk about something positive. The two Avengers were still in their meeting, so you waited for them on the common floor. It was half your fault. You were looking at your phone when a body slammed into you, causing you and your phone to fall to the ground. “Are you okay? Is your phone okay? Do you have a concussion?” You blinked at the girl with long brown hair and bright brown eyes. “Oh my god, I’ve concussed you.” She cried, placing her hands on top of her head.

“I’m not-wait. Who are you?”

“I’m Kamala Khan,” she offered you her hand, which you took to stand up.

“I’m-”

“Oh, I know who you are. Peter won’t stop talking about you. He says, You’re super cool.”

“I’m-” broken. Hurt. Sad. “Okay,” she laughed, and the sound erupted butterflies in your stomach. You noticed you were still holding her hand, and you dropped it suddenly. “Sorry,” you whispered. She smiled, picked up your phone, and looked it over.

“It’s not broken. I would have hated it if I gave you a concussion and broke your phone.” you were surprised by the laugh that you let out. It only made Kamala’s smile grow. “Here you go.”

“You should put your number in it,” a surge of confidence washed through you. Her eyebrows went up. “I mean, you did assault me. I think you owe me,” her mouth opened and closed like a fish. It was cute.

“I see why Peter likes you,” she said, handing you the phone so you could open it, and she quickly put her number on it. “I have to run-”

“Hopefully, not into someone again,” you said with a playful smile. She rolled her eyes.

“But I’ll see you again. Text me so I can have your number, too.” You waved bye as she ran off. Flopping onto the couch, you sent Kamala a simple hello with your name. For some reason, your cheeks were hurting from your smile.

You giggled at the funny meme Kamala sent you of Yelena and Kate that she made. You befriended the girl three days ago, and her goal seemed to make you smile. Even after a tough day at therapy, you were welcomed with messages from her that made it better. “Alright, enough,” your phone was ripped away from you. You gasped as you watched Yelena go through your phone. “You’ve been giggling all night. Who are you texting?”

“Mama, tell her to give me my phone back,” Wanda chuckled, standing over the stove to make dinner.

“Give her the phone back, Belova,” the witch laughed. “But I am curious who has got you smiling so much.” Yelena refused to give you the phone.

“First off, you’ve met Kamala,” she handed Wanda your phone. Instead of looking through it like the Black Widow, she returned it to you. “Second, I am going to kill her.” You smiled.

“We ran into each other at the tower,” you texted her, letting her know Yelena saw the memes she made. “Literally,” you mumbled. Every time you thought about how you met your new friend, you laughed. This was amplified when Kamala responded, saying you betrayed her trust.

“Hey,” Yelena snapped her fingers in front of your face. You jumped, not expecting it. “Your mama was talking to you.” The Blonde rolled her eyes and left the kitchen.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “What were you saying?” Wanda smiled with a shake of the head.

“I said dinner is almost ready. Can you go wash up and get your brothers?” You nodded and closed the book you were trying to read, but you were distracted by your phone. “And sweetheart,” you stopped to look at Wanda. “She’s making you smile a lot. Is there more going on?” You felt your body heat up.

“N-no,” you stuttered. “We are just friends,” Wanda smirked. “Mama, we are.”

“Okay, I’m just teasing,” you huffed and walked to your room. You dropped your textbooks and notebooks on your desk. Friends. That was all you and Kamala were. Nothing more. Right?

You were nervous as you stood outside Natasha’s home office. You could do this. You could do this. Knocking the door, you heard her voice on the other side telling you to come in. You entered and closed the door. “Hey bug, what -” she stopped mid-question. “Are you okay? You look like you are going to be sick.” Instead of answering, you walked to the front of her desk.

“Can I ask you something?” Natasha nodded, the worry evident on her face. “Can I go to the movies?” The Black Widow blinked at once, twice.

“Jesus, kid, you were about to give me a heart attack,” she let out a shaky breath and placed her hand on her chest for added effect. “Who would you be going with?”

“Uh Kamala,” you played with the fidget ring Yelena gave you after they saved you from Dmitri. “She and a few of her friends are in the city, and they invited me to see Detention Disaster with them.” It was a comedy. You looked at an in-depth review of it, so you knew nothing would trigger you.

“Are you sure? That’s a big step,” you knew what she meant. You rarely went anywhere besides the tower, the park down the street, and your brother’s school. Natasha and Wanda were with you even if you went somewhere outside your comfort zone.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, but you wouldn’t grow or heal if you stayed constant. “But I’d like to try.”

“That scene in the cafeteria was so funny,” Bruno said as he walked next to Nakia. “And it was shot so well,” Kamala chuckled and shook her head at her friend.

“Did you enjoy the movie?” She asked you. You were walking behind Bruno and Nakia.

“Yeah, it was funny.” Even after reading the very in-depth review, the movie still managed to make you laugh. Also, the comments Kamala and Bruno made to one another throughout the entire movie added another layer of comedy. They thought they were being quiet. Still, they walked no matter how often Nakia threw popcorn at them. You liked Kamala’s friends, who included you in their group.

“Hey, there is an arcade over here. Do you guys want to go?” Bruno asked. He stopped walking so you could catch up. The arcade was loud and unpredictable. There were too many things to account for.

“It’s up to you,” Kamala said. I can take you back home.” Home was safe and predictable—well, your brothers were not, but they knew your boundaries. But you shook your head.

“An arcade sounds fun,” you said. Today was good, and you wanted to keep hanging out with them. If they wanted to go to an arcade, then you would go no matter how much anxiety swirled in your stomach.

Luckily, it wasn’t busy. A small group of kids was at the basketball game, and some were looking at the prizes through the glass box. You bought a card with your tokens, and Kamala grabbed your hand to show you all her favorite games. You were worried that she thought you were clingy, but she kept a tight hold on you. Playing video games with your brothers helped you with some of the games. You beat Kamala on some of the two-player games.

It was fun, and you pretended you were a normal kid for a split second. No deep trauma that kept you awake at night. No scars that ached when it got cold. You were a kid having fun with her friends.

Until you walked alone as you decided on the next game, you needed a few more tickets and could get a new fidget toy. Suddenly, you felt a body crash against your back, and you stumbled forward. Your first thought of who it was was Kamala. For an Avenger, she was very clumsy. “Hey, watch where the fuck you are going,” you turned around to see a guy; he had to be 18.

“You ran into me,” you said. “You should listen to your advice.” You turned away, but he grabbed your arm and spun you back around. He pushed you against the arcade machine. The corner dug into your lower back, and you let out a pained yelp. Fear washed over you. His mouth was moving, but nothing he said mattered to you. It was happening again. Why? You felt frozen. The way his hands felt on you transported you to Jason, Conner, and Dmitri. Then, a new pair of hands were touching you.

“Hey, Y/n,” the voice said. “You’re safe. I need you to breathe for me.” Your chest felt tight, and it was impossible to get air into your lungs. “What do you need?”

“Hands,” you managed. “Get your hands off of me.” They were removed instantly, and you slid down to the ground, bringing your knees to your chest.

“You know you missed me kicking Bruno’s ass in basketball,” it was Kamala. Kamala was in front of you. “I mean, I was cheating, but don’t tell him that.” You managed a chuckle, which Kamala smiled. “Are you back with me?” You nodded, licking your dry lips. “Bruno and Nakia brought that guy to the manager, and he’s calling the police.” Again, you nodded. “Do you want me to call your parents?”

“No,” you finally spoke. The reality of the situation caught up with you, and embarrassment washed over you. You jumped to your feet. “Shit, sorry that was-”

“Whoa,” Kamala stood up slowly with her hand sup. “It’s okay. You did nothing wrong.” But you did, and if you just walked away from him, none of this would have happened. “No matter what happened, he should have never put his hands on you.” You nodded again. “Come on, let’s go somewhere more private.” She let you go to a small back room used for birthday parties. You were grateful she kept her hands to herself when she opened the door. You slumped in one of the chairs and placed your face in your hands. You heard Kamala sit in front of you. “Are you okay?” She finally asked. You sighed.

“I wanted today to be good and normal,” you said. “But it’s like one step forward and four steps back.”

“Isn’t that the point?” You removed your hands and looked at her. “Healing. Some days are better than others. It’s how it is,” she carefully took your hand, and you allowed her to. “And today was fun. I had fun hanging out with you.”

“I had fun, too,” you admitted. She smiled.

“These things will happen,” she continued. “And that is okay. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I will be there to help you. If you want me to, at least,” she added quickly. You smiled.

“As long as I don’t scare you off.”

“You could never,” she spoke with so much confidence, and without hesitation, you almost believed her.

Delete Created with Sketch.

Today was a bad day. You had to go down to the courthouse to prepare for your testimony against Principal Cool. He wasn’t there, but you had to relive the whole ordeal. After that, Billy and Tommy begged to get ice cream. However, a man mistook you for someone else and grabbed you by the arm. The cherry on top was Kamala was on a mission with Carol. You missed the way she could make you smile and laugh.

It was past midnight. No matter how many times you tried to go to bed, every horrible thing flashed through your mind. Your phone buzzing caused you to jump, not expecting a phone call. Somehow, just seeing her name made you smile. It felt like your first genuine smile all day. “Hi,” you answered softly.

“Did I wake you up? I am so sorry. I can never figure out what time zone I’m in,” you giggled and rolled onto your back.

“No, I’ve been up. What are you doing calling me?” you asked. “I thought you said it was impossible to find cell service up there.” She was quiet, but you heard shuffling as if she was lying down.

“We usually can’t, but we found some. So Carol is calling Val, Monica is calling her mom, and I’m calling you.” Oh. That was a surprise.

“Why are you calling me?” She had her parents, brother, and her high school friends.

“Because I wanted to silly,” she answered. “Now, why can’t you sleep? Are you okay?”

“I’m,” Kamala knew bits and pieces of what happened to you. You strayed away from the more graphic details. It wasn’t easy to open up to your therapist. “I’m,” you sighed. “I miss you,” you admitted instead. Sometimes, it was easier to change the direction of the conversation.

“Awe, I miss you too,” you heard the smile in her voice. “I’ll be home soon, but you failed to answer my question.” you rolled your eyes.

“I’m tired,” you pushed the calm of your hand to your eye. And you were. You wanted to move past all of this and live a normal life.

“Get some sleep. I-shit. I’m sorry, I have to go. Carol needs me.” You were lucky she couldn’t see you, or she would have seen your frown. “Look, if you need anything, you call me, okay? I may not respond right away, but I’m here.” You nodded.

“Stay safe, superhero.”

“Always.”

Soft knocking woke you up. Slowly, you sat up and looked towards the sound. “Kamala,” you whispered. The girl was smiling on the other side of your window. You climbed over to it and opened it. “What are you doing?” She smiled.

“To see you. Can I come in? It’s cold,” you stepped out of the way, and she crawled through the window. It was a little clumsy. Her foot got caught on the window ledge. A small yelp, and she rolled off your bed and onto the floor. You cringed at the sound and were grateful that your room was on the first floor. Soon, your room was filled with laughter.

“Are you okay?” You closed the window. Kamala nodded and rubbed the back of her head.

“My pride took a hit,” you giggled and helped her. “Hi,” she smiled and sat down on your bed.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be in space?”

“Well,” she took off her shoes. “The mission is almost over, and Carol doesn’t need me, so she said I could go home.” You raised her eyebrows at her.

“The last time I checked, this isn’t your house,” she said, looking around the room with a confused expression.

“You know, I thought my room looked a little different. There are not enough Captain Marvel posters,” you rolled your eyes. Besides, Carol may not need me, but you do,” you looked at the ground. Kamala placed her arm around your shoulders. That’s okay, you know that? It’s okay to need people.” You shrugged.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” you whispered. “You are an Avenger. You have more important things to worry about than someone as broken as me.” Kamala removed her arm and forced you to sit more on the bed. You crossed your legs to give her more room. She grabbed your hands.

“You are not broken. You are healing. That is a big difference. Soon, all these scars will heal,” you stared at your connected hands.

“What if whatever they broke inside me can never be fixed?” Kamala was quiet. She moved your hands so your palms were facing up. Her fingers were arms as she traced the lines on your hand.

“Then you learn to live without those parts,” she bite her lip. “When I discovered the true nature of my abilities, the old me was gone. I had to embrace the person I am now. It’s scary, terrifying really, but you have your family to help you,” she squeezes your hands. “You have me.” You looked at her, and she had a soft smile.

“Can you stay the night?” You whispered.

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere,” you stood up to get some clothes to change into. Once she was ready for bed, you climbed under the covers with her next to you. “For what it’s worth,” she broke the silence. “I think you are pretty great.” You bent your arm to rest your head on your hand. She was lying on her back.

“You think I’m pretty, superhero,” she rolled her eyes and mirrored the way you were laying.

“What if I did?” You raised your eyebrows in question. “I think you are pretty.”

“Oh,” you squeaked and cringed at the nose that escaped. “Scars and all?” You questioned.

“They are kind of badass,” she said. “Makes you all hot with the ladies.” She wiggled her eyebrows. You chuckled and pushed the girl on her shoulder. She fell onto her back.

“You are such a flirt.” You said.

“Just for you, khobsurat,” you titled your head at the foreign word. “It’s Urdu.”

“What does it mean?” You questioned. Kamala faced you.

“Beautiful.”

“I don’t know how to do this,” you admitted. You were never in a normal relationship. Everyone wanted something from you. Everyone tried to hurt you. “I’ve been hurt by so many people that promised not to.” Your biological parents used you to get money. Jason promised to love you. Principal Cook and Coach Griffo were hired to protect students. They all hurt you.

“I can’t promise I won’t mess things up because I’m an idiot,” you smiled. “I can be aggressively passionate, overwhelming, and loud, but I will never hurt you like they hurt you.” You nodded, looking down at the shapes on your blanket. “You don’t believe me.” You wanted to. You tried to jump head first, but you weren’t sure if your heart could handle any more heartbreak. It was already bruised, bandaged, and broken.

“I want to. It’s just-”

“Hard?” Kamala guessed. You nodded. “That’s okay. I’m not going anywhere,” she yawned, covering her mouth. “Sorry, that was rude.”

“Get some sleep. It’s been a long day.” She nodded and closed her eyes.

“Night, khobsurat,” she whispered. Was it weird that you watched her fall asleep? Maybe. But you liked how peaceful she looked. You weren’t sure when the last peaceful night of sleep you had. You were a little jealous. Sighing, you turned to your side and hoped for a nightmare-free sleep.

The sound of thundering footsteps woke you up. It was your only warning before your door opened, the force almost falling off the handles. “Breakfast - hey, what are you doing here, Kamala?” You heard the girl behind you groan. Sometime in the middle of the night, you gravitated towards each other. Her arm is secured around your waist. It wasn’t an uncomfortable position. You only allowed your parents and sometimes your brothers to cuddle you.

“Not sleeping,” she mumbled. Her breath caused goosebumps on your skin. That was uncomfortable. Your mind flashed back to every time someone held you down, breathing against your neck. You tensed up. “Hey, are you okay?” You shook your head.

“Mom!” Billy yelled. “Y/n has a friend over that she didn’t ask permission ,and she’s having a panic attack.”

“Billy,” you hissed, but your brother ran off. Kamala removed her arm and created some healthy distance between you and her. You needed some space, not your brother getting Natasha and announcing you were having a panic attack, which you weren’t. Now, the hurried footsteps were from the Black Widow.

“Is she going to kill me?” You heard Kamala whisper as Natasha slowed down. That was a great question you weren’t 100% sure about.

“Kamala, what the hell are you doing here?” She asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be in space?”

“Well, you see, Mrs. Romanoff,” Kamala said slowly. “I requested to leave my mission early because she seemed upset.” Your head whipped around to look at her.

“You told me your mission was almost over, and Carol didn’t need you anyone.” Her eyes widened, frantically looking between you and the Russian.

“I did say that, didn’t I? It was a white lie,” she said. “I knew if I told you the truth, you would make me go back, and you sounded so sad on the phone,” she held up her hands, almost to defend herself. “Carol knows the truth, and she approved it. I couldn’t lie to her,” she pointed to Natasha. “She scares me more than you,” she whispered. Her comment made you laugh, but you were still angry at her even though her heart was in the right place. Natasha scuffed.

“I scare you now. Is that so?” You looked at your mom. Her arms were crossed, and she was leaning against the doorway.

“No, ma’am, Mrs. Black Widow, sir.” You laughed so hard that you snorted, which sent Kamala into a fit of laughter. Natasha had a soft smile on her face.

“Breakfast is ready, girls. Come on,”

“Thanks, Mom,” the Black Widow nodded and walked back towards the direction of the kitchen, not bothering to close the door. Kamala let out a shaky breath and slumped back into the mattress. “I can’t believe you lied to me.” You pinched her side, and the girl yelped.

“It was for a good reason,” you rolled your eyes. “Are you telling me if I told you the truth, you’d let me stay?” There was no good reason you had. “Exactly,” she pinched your side back. “How did you sleep?” She sat up and stretched her arms above her head.

“Good, actually,” your mind was blank; no nightmare woke you up.

“Good,” she climbed out of the bed. “Come on. I’m hungry. Your superhero needs food,” she rubbed her stomach.

“My superhero?” She winked at you.

“I like the sound of that,” she teased and grabbed your hand. You were a little stunned, but you led her to the kitchen, where the rest of your family was. My superhero, you liked the sound of it, too.

“I’d like to call Y/n Romanoff-Maximoff as my first witness to the stand,” the prosecutor said your name, and your stomach still dropped. This moment was what you were preparing weeks for. All you had to do was take the stand, tell the truth, and be free. Easy minus facing Principal Cook and the side full of his supporters. But you weren’t alone either. Every Avenger that was not on a mission seemed to be there; even the Bartons made the trip to the city. Still, you felt frozen in your seat. Until you felt a hand on your shoulder squeeze it.

“We are right here, bug,” Natasha whispered. “Eyes on us the entire time.” You nodded and forced yourself to stand up. The prosecutor smiled at you as you passed her and headed for the witness stand. You tried to keep your eyes on your section. Even when the Bible was brought over to you so you could swear the truth and nothing but the truth. But you were curious, so your eyes flickered to his defense team. His lawyer was whispering to him, but Cook was watching you. The man smiled and gave you a little wave. You looked away immediately, eyes scanning your section until you found Kamala. She smiled, and the weight on your chest disappeared. You let out a shaky breath. You could do this. You could do this.

“I am so proud of you,” Wanda said for what felt like the 10th time once the trial ended. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you.

“Alright, darling,” Natasha smiled. “Don’t hog her. She’s got other people to thank for coming.” With a sigh, she let you go. You made your way around the large group right outside the courthouse. You thanked everyone for their support and tried to ignore the press taking your picture. Kamala was the last person you went up to. Immediately, you slumped into her arms.

“Hi,” she whispered. “Are you ready to go home?” You nodded against her. She took your hand and led you to your parent’s car. There was no need to say goodbye as everyone was invited to the house for a small party. It was your one request to do after the trial. You wanted everyone close by for a gentle reminder you weren’t alone.

Once again, you found yourself at the fire pit as you watched the party. Kamala sat down next to you and handed you a plate of food. “Are your parents enjoying themselves?” You saw them talking with Natasha and Wanda. They weren’t at the trail; they stayed at the house to set everything up.

“They are. I hope you are ready to hear many stories of when I was a baby,” you smiled and took a bite of your hamburger. “You know Yelena gave me the shovel talk,” your eyes widened. You knew when the Blonde found out you were dating Kamala; it was only a matter of time before the ‘talk’ happened. “It was nothing bad. She did not threaten bodily harm,” you laughed, a little surprised, and sipped your water. “She did make me promise something.”

“Are you going to tell me what that promise was?” Yelena was with the Bartons. Nate was handing on her back with his arms around her neck. She caught you staring and winked at you.

“She told me this has been the happiest she’s seen you,” you looked at the girl next to you. She was looking forward, but you saw her eyes flick to you. It wasn’t the first time you heard that statement. You look happier. Everyone said it in their way. “Is that true? Do you feel happier?” It was a complicated question because there were days you were on cloud nine. Others felt it impossible to move forward. But she made it better.

“Yeah, I am,” you admitted. “So, what promise did you make to her?” She took her free hand in yours.

“Just to keep you happy,” she kissed your cheek. “And you know how much I love making you smile.” You rolled your eyes and felt your body warm up.

“Hey, lovebirds,” you heard Kate yell. “I think you should cool off.” You gasped as the cool water drenched you and Kamala. You ignored Kamala’s laughter and looked at who was responsible: your brother, the Bartons, and Peter.

“Tommy, Billy, I’m going to kill you.”

“Awe, why?” Tommy whined. “It wasn’t just us.” That was true, but you had a free pass to bully them.

“Besides, it was mom’s idea,” your head snapped to look at the Black Widow, who was now with her sister and Laura. She was smirking at you. You narrowed your eyes at her.

“Give me your water gun,” you said to Billy. Your brother looked at you, then Natasha.

“I’ll speak kindly at your funeral, soldier,” he saluted you and handed you the water gun. You placed your now ruined food on Kamala’s plate.

“Khobsurat,” she stood up and grabbed your hand. “Are you sure about this? You have a lot of life to live.”

“Oh my god, guys,” you laughed. “I’ll be fine.” Well, you hopped anyway. Besides, you knew Wanda wouldn’t let anything happen to you. You were secretly her favorite. You pumped the water gun and looked at the Black Widow. She shook her head and mouthed ‘no.’ You winked at her and used your powers to turn invisible. Since the Avengers saved you from Dmitri, you rarely used your powers. Besides the occasional training session Natasha and Wanda put you through. You were grateful for that; what they taught you kept you alive. It felt good to use your powers for fun.

You watched the Black Widow walk over to Wanda and wrap her arms around her waist. She was talking with Maria and Sam. Clever or suicide to use the witch as a shield, but it would not stop you. Carefully, you walked closer to them. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” Wanda asked. Natasha placed her head on her shoulder.

“Can I not love on my beautiful wife?” The witch narrowed her eyes at her.

“Who did you piss off?” You slapped your hand over your mouth to stop the sound of your laughter. Wanda glanced around the yard. “Get off of me.” But Natasha held onto her tighter. “Natalia Alianovna Romanova, I will not be your shield because you messed with our enhanced daughter.” Sam laughed, throwing his head back.

“You got your full government name,” he teased. You are in the dog house.” The Black Widow pouted, but her arms remained locked around Wanda.

‘Don’t even think about it,’ Wanda’s voice echoed in your head. Usually, it would scare you. Now, it was a calming presence when you felt her magic enter your mind.

‘Sorry, mama,’ You appeared behind Natasha and unleashed your water onto her back. Natasha gasped and moved Wanda to take some of it. You stopped immediately but still got her wet. You cringed. “That was not my fault,” you said. The witch sighed.

“I know,” Red Magic took the water gun out of your hands. “Run Romanoff.” The Black Widow’s eyes were filled with fear, and you laughed as she took off towards Tommy, who threw his water gun at her. Yes, you were happier—all thanks to them.

#wandanat x reader #wandanat x daughter #wandanat x daughter!reader #wandanat x y/n #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x daughter! reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x daughter! reader #kamala khan x reader #kamala khan x you #kamala khan x y/n

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muiitoloko · 7 months ago

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Hi dear,

If you need any idea for Lionel, I just discovered something today : you can provoke your period while having sex (yeah, documentaries on Sunday are quite... instructive). Apparently, it is caused by the contraction of your uterus and I absolutely didn't know that ! Of course, this happens only if your period are due within the next two or three days you can't make it happen three weeks before the due term, but ! it could be an idea with our dear Lionel, like he is having some feral sex and in the middle of it, his partner has her period starting and of course she falls appart because she thinks it's quite humiliating but Lionel in totally indifferent about the blood, he is just like "No honey, it's natural".

Title: Unique experience.

Summary: You and Lionel go through a unique experience, and Lionel is a cheeky bastard as always.

Pairing: Lionel Shahbandar × Fem! Reader

Warnings: Smut, mention of menstruation.

Author's Notes: Wow, Sunday documentaries sure do have a way of dropping unexpected knowledge bombs, huh? 😄 That’s a wild and fascinating tidbit about periods starting during sex! And you’re right, it’s got Lionel fic potential written all over it. Imagine him in the middle of some wild, passionate scene, and bam—nature calls!

Lionel held your hips firmly, his fingers digging into your flesh as he continued to pound into you relentlessly. The cold tiles of the bathroom provided a stark contrast to the hot water cascading over both of you from the shower above, the steam rising around you in thick, swirling clouds. The intense heat of the water heightened every sensation, your skin tingling from the contrast between the cool tiles and the scalding droplets that dripped down your back and shoulders.

You gasped as Lionel’s thrusts grew more insistent, the blunt head of his cock driving into you with a relentless rhythm. Each thrust sent a shiver of pleasure through you, the forceful impact making you cry out as he hit your cervix with a precision that bordered on agonizing ecstasy.

“God, you feel incredible,” Lionel groaned, his baritone voice rough with desire, reverberating against the bathroom walls. The deep timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, his words adding fuel to the fire of your arousal.

You leaned against the cold tiles, your body trembling with the intensity of his movements. The sensation of the hot water cascading over you combined with the relentless pounding of his cock drove you to the brink of madness, your mind a haze of raw, unfiltered pleasure. “Lionel, please,” you gasped, your voice a desperate plea. “Harder.”

A dark, satisfied chuckle escaped Lionel’s lips as he obliged, his hips slamming against yours with renewed vigor. “As you wish,” he growled, his tone thick with lust. His fingers tightened on your hips, pulling you back to meet each powerful thrust. The delicious friction sent waves of pleasure radiating through your body, your senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the sensations.

The blunt head of his cock pressed against your cervix with each thrust, the pressure building to an almost unbearable peak. Your cries of pleasure echoed off the tiled walls, mingling with the sound of the water splashing around you. You could feel every inch of him inside you, the thick length of his cock stretching you open, filling you completely. Each movement sent jolts of ecstasy through you, your body arching involuntarily as you sought more of the pleasure he was giving you.

“Lionel,” you moaned, your voice a breathless whisper, “I’m so close.”

Lionel’s grip on your hips tightened, his pace quickening as he drove into you with a fierce, unrelenting rhythm. “Come for me,” he commanded, his voice a low, seductive growl that sent a shiver of anticipation through you. “I want to feel you come around my cock.”

As Lionel’s relentless thrusts reached a fever pitch, both of you were teetering on the brink of ecstasy. The steam-filled bathroom amplified every sensation, the hot water a torrid cascade over your entangled bodies. Just as your climax seemed inevitable, a sudden, unexpected warmth enveloped his cock. Lionel's movements faltered, confusion flickering across his face.

He glanced down, expecting to see the evidence of your pleasure. Instead, his eyes widened as he saw the crimson liquid trickling down his shaft. Panic and concern etched across his features as he quickly pulled away, his hands hovering over you uncertainly. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice a deep, worried murmur. “Did I hurt you?”

You stared down, your heart pounding with a mixture of confusion and shame. Recognition dawned slowly, a mortifying realization washing over you. It wasn’t your climax but your period, arriving unexpectedly. Your cheeks flushed with humiliation, and you instinctively covered yourself with your arms, a desperate attempt to hide.

“I’m so sorry,” you stammered, your voice trembling with embarrassment. “I didn’t know… It wasn’t supposed to start for another few days.”

Lionel’s eyes softened, his concern morphing into understanding. “Hey, hey,” he said gently, his tone soothing despite the deep rumble of his baritone voice. He reached out, his hand warm and reassuring on your shoulder. “There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s just nature doing its thing.”

You shook your head, the shame still burning hot in your cheeks. “But it’s so embarrassing,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the rush of the shower. “I should have known.”

Lionel chuckled softly, a mischievous glint in his eyes despite the situation. “Oh, come on,” he said, his voice filled with affectionate teasing. “If anything, I’m honored. Not every day I can say I’ve made a woman bleed from sheer passion.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his cheeky comment, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips. “You’re impossible,” you muttered, your voice filled with a mix of exasperation and amusement.

Lionel’s smile widened, his hooked nose casting a shadow across his face as he leaned closer, his gaze filled with playful affection. “And you love me for it,” he said, his tone a teasing purr. “Besides, this just makes you more human, more real. There’s no shame in it.”

His words, delivered with a blend of humor and genuine care, eased the sting of your embarrassment. You took a deep breath, the tension in your shoulders slowly melting away. “You always know just what to say,” you admitted, your voice softening as you met his gaze.

Lionel shrugged, his eyes twinkling with that familiar, roguish charm. “I have my moments,” he said, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your arm. “Now, why don’t we clean up properly and get out of here? Maybe a bit of pampering is in order after this little surprise.”

You laughed softly, the warmth of his touch and the comfort of his presence making the situation seem less daunting. “Alright,” you agreed, feeling a flicker of lightness return. “But only if you promise not to make any more cheeky comments.”

Lionel raised an eyebrow, his smile widening into a full grin. “I can’t promise that,” he said, his voice a low, playful growl. “But I can promise to take very good care of you.”

With a resigned but affectionate eye roll, the two of you cleaned up and let Lionel guide you out of the shower. His hands were gentle as he wrapped a fluffy towel around your shoulders, the warmth a soothing contrast to the chill of the bathroom. Lionel’s arms encircled you, his touch tender and reassuring.

“Do you need me to buy you tampons?” he asked, his voice a deep, concerned rumble.

The image of Lionel, the self-styled lion and a man of impeccable sophistication, strolling down a store aisle in search of tampons was so absurd that you had to bite your lip to suppress a laugh. The thought of his sharp, hooked nose crinkling in confusion as he surveyed the bewildering array of feminine products made the situation seem almost comical.

You shook your head, a soft smile playing on your lips. “No need for that,” you said, your tone light and reassuring. “I have some in my bag.”

Lionel’s eyes sparkled with relief and a touch of his characteristic amusement. “I suppose that’s a relief,” he murmured, his voice a playful purr. “Though I wouldn’t have minded the adventure. One must always be prepared to face the unknown, after all.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at his theatrics, the sound easing the lingering tension between you. “I’m sure you would have handled it with all the grace and charm of a lion in a china shop,” you teased, your eyes twinkling with affection.

Lionel chuckled, his hooked nose casting a faint shadow as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I like to think I’d manage just fine,” he said, his voice a low, comforting growl. “But for now, let’s focus on getting dressed and making sure you’re comfortable.”

You nodded, appreciating his considerate approach. Lionel handed you your clothes, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary, a silent gesture of his affection. “Thank you,” you said softly, your eyes meeting his with a warmth that spoke volumes.

As you got dressed, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Lionel. His tall, commanding figure was offset by the tenderness in his movements as he dried himself off and slipped into his clothes. There was a certain grace to the way he carried himself, even in such an intimate, domestic moment, that reminded you why you were so drawn to him.

Once you were both dressed, Lionel wrapped his arm around your shoulders, guiding you out of the bathroom. The comforting weight of his arm and the soft, reassuring murmur of his voice made you feel cherished and protected.

“You know,” Lionel began, his tone thoughtful as he led you to the bedroom, “despite the little surprise in the shower, I think we handled it rather well. Quite the story for the memoirs, don’t you think?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but your smile betrayed the warmth his words brought. “I’m not sure that’s something we need to include in any memoirs,” you replied, your tone light and affectionate. “But it certainly adds to our collection of unique experiences.”

Lionel’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he pulled you closer, his hooked nose brushing against your cheek. “Every moment with you is unique, my love,” he murmured, his voice a deep, soothing rumble. “And I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world."

You leaned into him, your heart swelling with affection as you felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your side. “Neither would I,” you said softly, your voice filled with sincerity. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

Lionel’s lips curved into a tender smile, his eyes dark with a deep, abiding affection. “Always,” he replied, his tone a gentle promise. “There’s nothing we can’t face together.”

The warmth of his words and the steady, comforting presence of his arm around you made the embarrassment of the earlier moment fade into the background. Together, you knew you could handle whatever life threw at you, facing each challenge with the same grace and humor that had brought you through this one.

As you settled into the bedroom, Lionel’s arm still wrapped around you, the world outside seemed to fade away. In that moment, all that mattered was the love you shared and the comforting certainty that you would always be there for each other, no matter what.

#alan rickman x reader #alan rickman #lionel shabandar x reader #lionel shabandar #gambit 2012 #gambit

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watchandread02 · 27 days ago

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For the "Holidays with the Winchesters: A very Destiel Christmas Advent Calendar" by @archervale and @wormstacheangel

Day One: Family Reunion

(This is the first fic i've written so please be gentle)

Stepping up to the familiar building, Dean takes a moment to take in the changes since he last saw it. Or more accurately what hasn’t changed. The Roadhouse still looks the same as it did almost five years ago.

He can already hear the laughter and chatter coming from inside. Taking one last deep breath he steps up to the door. A sign proclaims that the Roadhouse is closed for a private function today and will open up again in two weeks time, when the holidays are over. Hoping his presence will be a welcome one he opens up the door and enters the bar.

The bell above the door announces his arrival to the gathered crowd, who all stop what they are doing and turn to look at him. For a moment nothing happens, before everyone turns back to their tasks.

“Sorry, we’re closed for a private function at the moment. But as the sign outside said, we’ll be open again in a few weeks time, after the holidays are over. You are more than welcome to come back then.” Ellen says, before moving back towards the kitchen, probably to bring out more food.

When he doesn’t move, Benny starts walking towards him, saying “You waiting on some kind of special invitation or something mate? This is a private family gathering, the Roadhouse is closed today!”

“I kinda thought you might make an exception for me.” Dean answers and finally steps forward out of the shadow of the entryway he was standing in previously.

Everyone falls silent again as they take in the man standing before them. Because it is a man that’s standing before them now. No longer the barely adult that left for basic training five years ago. Gone is the lanky kid that had just finished high school. And in its place is a world weary soldier.

Sam is the first to come out of his stupor. He throws his arms around his brother as he cries out, “Dean, you’re back!”

“And here to stay,” Dean says as he wraps his arms around his little brother. Who isn’t really so little anymore, “Man what are they feeding you, Sammy?”

“It’s Sam, Jerk. And I’m not a little chubby 12 year old anymore, Dean.” Sam says, as he rolls his eyes.

Dean takes in his brother wistfully, “ Yeah, I guess you aren’t.”

Before Sam can reply he’s tackled in a hug by Charlie and Jo. Dean almost loses his balance since he didn’t see them coming.

“Woah there. Careful.”

Charlie and Jo are still clinging on to him, but Charlie mumbles into his neck. “We missed you dumbass. We’re entitled to tackle you.”

After Jo and Charlie pull away, the hugs don’t seem to stop. There is one from Jody, Donna, Ellen, Benny, Garth, Ash and even Bobby gives him a heartfelt hug with a pat on the bag afterwards. He gets a very tearful one from his mother, who clings to him for several minutes. But he holds her just as tight, if not even more so. He gets slightly overwhelmed by the sheer number of hugs, but he can tell that they all need this right now. Who is he kidding, he needs this just as much. When his mother loosens their embrace at last he looks over the gathered crowd. There are a few faces of people he doesn’t recognize. But his heart fills with love taking in his family, standing with the new people that they have taken into their fold. He is sure that he will be introduced to all of them over the course of the night.

But one person stands out to him. One that he knew very well before he left. But who hasn’t stepped in to greet him yet.

Green eyes meet blue and it’s like the rest of the world just fades away.

“Heya, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean opens up his arms, “you gonna stand there all night, or will you welcome me back as well?”

Cas steps closer slowly, until he is standing just before Dean. But instead of Cas stepping into his open arms, like he expected him to, Cas raises his hands to cradle Dean's face gently. Oh so gently.

“I am so glad to see you Dean. I’ve missed you. I thought I would never be able to see you again, talk to you again. I started to lose hope.”

Dean sinks into the soft touch, his eyes closing, “I’ve missed you too. So much, Cas. I thought about you everyday. When it got though, you were what got me through. And as good as this feels, can I get a hug now?”

“Of course, Dean.” And then, finally, he has his best friend in his arms again. They just stand there, holding each other close.

Until he hears a throat clear. He doesn’t know how long it’s been. It could have been seconds, minutes, even hours. When Cas was around, time always seemed to lose all meaning. Reluctantly he pulls back from their hug.

“Are you going to join us, boys?” Ellen asks as she puts what seems to be the last dish onto the overflowing table. Everyone else is already seated. They seem to have finished preparing the table and given them some space, while he and Cas were in their own world. Though there is more than one knowing look pinned on them now.

Cas grabs his hand and pulls him towards two empty chairs next to each other. “Of course. Sorry that we didn’t help set the rest of the table.”

“Just sit down ya idjits.” Bobby replies gruffly.

Before they can sit down however Sam interrupts, “what did you mean by ‘and here to stay’.”

“Well. I guess it’s easier to just show you.” Dean says as he pulls up the pants of his left leg, which reveals a prosthetic. “I was honorably discharged after I lost this in action.”

No one says anything for a bit, until Dean breaks the silence, “Hey it’s all good. We should get to eat the food, hot right. I wanna be able to finally celebrate Christmas with my family again.” And with that Dean and Cas finally take a seat at the table.

Dinner is a jovial affair. With Dean being introduced to the people he didn’t know. There is Gabriel, Cas’ brother, who Dean never met because he had moved away before Dean and Cas became friends, but who is apparently back now. Then there is Claire, a cousin of Cas, who got kicked out of her parents home, when she came out to them as a lesbian. He can understand why his family would accept her so readily. Next to her sits her girlfriend Kaia, and then there is also Kevin, a friend Sam made in college. Damn his little brother is going to college now. And he also has a girlfriend. Eileen seems like a lovely person and a good fit for his brother.

Even though Dean may not realize it, his family is extra cheerful today. The seat that had sat empty for so many years is finally filled again. Their family is finally reunited.

After everyone has eaten their fill, they clean up the table and bring out dessert. Which Dean is happy to find also includes his favorite pie.

“Uhhh, love me some pie.” Dean says as he puts a big piece on his plate. “Oh my god, I need to know where you bought this. This is so good.” Dean moans around the bite he took.

“Actually Cas made it.” Jody tells him.

Dean turns to look at Cas with wonder in his eyes, “you made this?”

There is a slight tinge of red to Cas’ cheeks as he answers. “Yeah, in the beginning it was a way for me to connect with you, while you were gone. And then I started to actually really enjoy it, so I own my own bakery now.”

Dean just stares at Cas for a second. “Marry me?” He blurts out.

But before he can take back his words, Cas cuts in, “is that your proposal? Maybe I’ll consider it when you actually get down on one knee.” There is a joking tilt to his voice, but Dean can see that there is a seriousness hidden in his eyes.

Apparently they had ended up staring at each other again, since he is pulled back to the rest of the table, by a cleared throat. He is greeted with knowing smirks on pretty much everyone's faces. They all think that Dean and Cas have been oblivious to their feelings for each other. But what they don’t know is that they had already told each other how they feel. Dean knew he would join the military once he was finished with high school and he knew what could happen to him. He didn’t want to leave Cas even more heartbroken than he already would have been, if he didn’t make it home. So they had made the mutual decision to just stay friends, until he got back. In hindsight, it probably wouldn’t have changed much, since those feelings have only grown stronger. And that was with minimal contact through some letters and phone calls exchanges here or there. He hopes that Cas still feels the same way for him, but based on how he’s acted this whole evening and the seriousness in his eyes at the question a few moments ago, he is pretty sure those feelings are still there. He’ll have to get Cas alone at some point this evening, since he doesn’t know if he can take it much longer.

Dean excuses himself to the bathroom to take a second to collect himself.

On his way back from the bathroom he collides with someone. He quickly gets his balance back, but whoever he collides with isn’t so lucky. And suddenly he has Cas in his arms.

Cas looks up at him and Dean can see a blush starting to spread over Cas’ cheeks. “I’m so sorry Dean. I didn’t see you.”

“Oh don’t worry Cas. I’ve heard that falling for me is quite easy. Though I never thought that you would.” Dean winks at Cas, who he rights back onto his own feet.

Their staring is interrupted by Claire this time, “Oh will you two just kiss already?”

They give her confused looks, but she jst points above them. They both turn their heads to look up, where a mistletoe is hanging in the doorway above them.

Dean rubs the back of his neck. “We don’t have to do this Cas.”

Cas looks at him for a second, before seeming to make a decision. He places a quick kiss on Dean's cheek, leaving him stunned, just staring at Cas in wonder. And then turns around to their family, which is watching them eagerly.

“That enough of a kiss for you?” Cas asks the crowd.

Before anyone can answer Cas though, Dean makes a decision of his own. Turning Cas around, he grabs him by the lapels of the suit jacket he is wearing and pulls Cas towards him. He kisses Cas square on the mouth. After a moment of shock Cas melts into the kiss and wraps his own arms around Dean’s waist, pulling him in even closer.

“I love you.” Dean whispers, when they finally pull away to breathe.

“I know.” Cas says.

Dean looks shocked for a moment, before chuckling slightly, “so who finally got you to watch Star Wars?”

“Charlie. Though it didn't take much to convince me. I missed you a lot, while you were gone.” Cas’ voice breaks slightly, during the last sentence.

Dean gently cups Cas’ cheek in his hand. “Hey, I’m here now. I’m not gonna leave again.”

“I know that now. But there were some really tough times.” Cas nuzzles into his palm. “I do love you. Just so you know.”

And with that they are moving in again, kissing gently.

They don’t notice their family cheering for them, too caught up in their own bubble. Eventually the others move on to other topics. And if at some point there is money exchanged between hands, then the two of them don’t need to know that. In time they will rejoin their family and be greeted warmly. And the celebrations will carry on well into the next morning.

#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #destiel ficlet #christmas ficlet #coming home #family reunion #supernatural au #spnadvent2024 #my own writing

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darthannie · 1 year ago

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day twelve: forced orgasm with jonathan crane

pairing: Jonathan Crane x f!reader word count: 703 warnings: noncon, floor sex, clothed sex, dacryphilia if you squint, unprotected sex a/n: There’s something about Jonathan Crane having a private practice and using me that really does it for me. kinktober masterlist

You should have never chosen Jonathan Crane to be your doctor. Stockholm syndrome would be the proper way to describe your relationship with him.

It started as a normal patient/doctor relationship. Somewhere along the way, Jonathan began disclosing more personal information in an attempt to relate to you. He admitted his attraction to you one day during a session. You felt a prickle of embarrassment creep up, almost feeling like you had done something wrong. He assured you it was a good thing and he wanted to continue helping you.

During a recent session, you cried and cried for the entire forty-five minutes. You thought he was taking pity on you when he hugged you as you got up to leave. Then he wouldn’t let go. You kept trying to push him away but he pulled you in for a timid kiss. It threw you off, but you kissed him back.

He took it a step further when he reached under your shirt and groped your breast. You tried to remove his hand but he squeezed tighter. It almost hurt. His hand moved to lift your skirt. You swat his hand away, but he resisted as he reached underneath to pull down your panties. They fell down to your ankles.

You wanted to get away from him. You thought to get on the floor, quickly drag yourself away, and then make a run for it. But, he simply followed you to the ground when you went down. You went to drag yourself away from him but he crawled over you, completely enveloping you under him. He guided you onto your back and flipped up your skirt. He felt how wet you were on his fingers. He teased you with one before adding another.

“You’re so wet for me,” he muttered.

“Jonathan, why are you doing this?”, you said meekly.

“Because you want me to.”

He kissed you and this time you didn’t kiss him back. Maybe it had to do with you coming to your senses. Or maybe it was because you heard his belt and zipper come undone. You felt his tip on your clit. He was toying with you, delaying the inevitable. He entered you slowly, letting you adjust to him.

You lied there as dead weight. You didn’t want to give him anything. Not a single word, not a single moan, nothing to indicate you were enjoying what he was doing.

And yet, you couldn’t help but let out a small yelp when he hit a certain angle. He smiled, “See I knew you had it in you.”

His thrusts were agitated, trying desperately to get you to cum. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. The sick, tightlipped smile never left his face. He inspected the way you looked at him. It was a face of disbelief. Your doctor, of all people, shouldn’t be doing this to you. And you shouldn’t be bewitched by the way he stretched your cunt more than anyone else ever had.

You tried to say “stop” but the sound got stuck in your throat, sounding like a disgruntled shout. You continued your whining, unable to form any thoughts. His thumb started to rub your clit. You were completely, utterly drunk on him.

“Cum on me,” he commanded.

“I can’t!”, you whined.

“I’m not asking twice.”

His thumb moved quicker and his thrusts got deeper. After a few moments, you involuntarily came undone. Tears began forming in your eyes. Your orgasm was so overwhelming your entire body shook. He didn’t bother pulling out of you. He came deep inside you, his hips faltering as he filled you with his cum.

When he finished, he pulled out of you and pulled up your panties. He fixed his pants and then your skirt. He stood up and reached out his hand to help you up. You ignored the gesture, thinking it was in poor taste considering what had just occurred. He pretended as if nothing happened.

“Well, that’s it for today,” he said as he stood behind his desk. “Is next week at the same time still good for you?”

“Yes,” you replied. You only hoped the next session was not as eventful.

Taglist:

@devotedlyshadowytheorist, @dxnger-dxys, @tommyshelbywhore, @quinnlilias,@madnessandobsession, @mvpr-moon, @nela-cutie, @faebirdie, @charmed-asylum, @anasanthology, @ilikefictionalmen, @akanne-aka, @no-fooking-fighting,@queenofstresss, @flwrs4aust, @mrkdvidal1989, @eleanorthemo,@ilovepeoplesdads, @00hsv, @laylasbunbunny

(If something is up with your tag or you would like to be added, let me know!)

#kinktober ‘23 #dark jonathan crane #jonathan crane x reader smut #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane x reader #dr jonathan crane #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fic #jonathan crane #nolanverse #i proofread this but no one is perfect #jonathan crane x you #scarecrow

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worm-in-a-trenchcoat · 1 year ago

Text

TODAY WAS SO FRICKING AWESOME!!!

I went as Ghoulia today, and Garret came over to ME and ask to take a picture with me! I almost cried 😭. Later I bought Scarily Ever After Clawdeen (one of my grails) and got her signed!

I met so many cool MH cosplayers (including the cutest Frankie cosplayer ever omg), and I met some mutuals from TikTok! I was alone at the con today and they let me tag along with them for the rest of the day (we ended up staying until the literal very end of the con lol)!

Having people to hang out with really made today so much more fun and less overwhelming for me, I had such a great time!

We entered the “Freaky Fashion Show” as a group and won the “Freaky Fabulous” award. We had to split it five ways (a Draculaura cosplayer joined us for the contest) and I took the pencil since none of the other prizes would fit in my suitcase anyway lol.

The mututals I met!! They were so nice and we had so much fun together! And they’re cosplays were so amazing!!!

I’ll probably make a couple more posts with more pics because tumblr will only let me post so many pictures at once, so sorry I’m advance if it gets kind of spammy 😭

#monster high #comic con #cosplay #monster high cosplay

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karahofthedawn · 1 year ago

Note

-sigh- I miss you’re writing, “You Owe Us One” is one of my favorite series! Lately I came up with this idea, I hope maybe you’ll be interested in using it, where Reader is still stressing over school and pressure from her parents (like what she’d been dealing with in Part 4) and Fred’s way to make her feel better would be to bully the Harry into giving him the password to the prefects bathroom and making it all romantic for her like a huge bubble bath. Because he’s not very good with words, like George and he doesn’t always know the right thing to say, but she can’t help feel overwhelmed with love and care and just cries and they have an intimate bath? idk idk could be fun? maybe it leads to some smut…who’s to say…😂🤷‍♀️

You Owe Us One - An Apology

Fred Weasley x Reader

Ask and you shall receive!! I hope this is what you were looking for.

I do miss writing the twins, so I may start back up again.

Thanks for giving me inspiration. 💜

Words: 3.5k

Contains: smut

There you are, letter in hand trudging down the corridor to the Hufflepuff common room. This isn’t the first time you’ve received a letter of the sorts, though it has been a month or so since the last. Your eyes burn from the tears threatening to burst out of you. You have to make it back to your dorm. Everyone else would still be in classes or having lunch. Just a minute or two to break down alone would be enough to get you through the rest of the day.

Why, is all you can think as you pass by a window. The sky seems to be reflecting how you feel internally, dark heavy clouds holding back everything they have as they pass over the castle. There was no forecast of rain today, but you knew even in just a glance that it would pour.

Why does she always have to see the worst in me? Your thoughts echo as you travel past the fruit painting that leads to the kitchen. You want to reflect on the good times you had with the Weasley brothers by sneaking into the cabinets late at night to get a quick snack, but it is almost impossible with the remembrance of the letter from your mother burning at the forefront of your brain.

She always knew just how to bring you down.

“Hey,” someone calls from the far end of the hall. You take a deep breath, centering yourself before turning to the familiar voice. It was who you expected - Fred, of course. You had completely forgotten to meet him in the garden after breakfast.

“Fred,” you say sweetly. “I’m so sorry, I just - “you pause and quickly tuck the letter in your black and gold coat.

“Completely forgot about me,” he says with a broad smile, pinching your cheek as he reaches you.

You tilt your head and roll your eyes. “Forget you? That would be impossible.”

“That right?” He crosses his arms and leans towards you. “Then I guess you must have gotten lost. Gardens are on the other side of the castle.”

As much as you love to banter with him, you just didn’t have it in you. “I know, I know.” You rub the bridge of your nose as another wave of anxiety races through your body. “This just isn’t a good time right now, okay?”

You turn to leave, but Fred steps in front of you. “What, are you going off to snog one of those Hufflepuff boys?” He challenges with a raise of an eyebrow.

He was kidding, you know this, but just the thought of trying to defend yourself against such a silly notion almost sends you over the edge. “Fred, please.”

“I’m just playing with-”

“I can’t right now,” you say sternly and push past him. You tap and open the Hufflepuff door and immediately slip in without a word.

Fred watches you with a puzzled expression as you disappear behind the barrels. Laying on the floor was a folded piece of parchment that fell from your coat as you rushed off. Fred kneels down and takes it delicately between his fingers.

“You must be the culprit,” he says to himself while eyeing your mother’s name.

—-------- Later that afternoon—----------

George slams the paper down on the table, causing the rest of the Gryffindors to jump and stare at the twins reproachfully. His face was as red as a phoenix as he recounted what he read in the letter. “And this is- this is her own mother?”

“Yeah, quite messed up, isn’t it?” Fred responds solemnly.

“To say the least,” he huffs and squints at the words in front of him again, still trying to take in how unbelievably cruel they were. “Useless? Pathetic? A disgrace to their lineage?”

Fred quickly snatches the page from his brother and tucks it in his back pocket. “I know what it says, you don’t have to tell the whole castle.”

“Sorry,” he sighs and leans back on the chair. “I can’t stand this woman. Our mother -”

“Our mother would never,” Fred finishes for him. “I know, and I made some stupid joke about her snogging someone else.”

George continues to stare down at the table where the letter used to be. “You didn’t know, don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure Y/N will understand.”

“Right,” he says while pulling at the sleeves of his undershirt. “But I’ve been thinking that I should make it up to her.” Fred felt a ton of guilt, and the truth was that he wasn’t entirely sure if she even wanted him to read that letter in the first place. So what if him bringing it up just made her feel worse, to know that others know how her own mother treats her?

“How do you intend to do that?” George tilts his head back to look at his brother. “Another trip to the Room of Requirement?”

“No,” Fred says simply. “I was thinking something different.”

George lifts his brows and kicks his feet up on the table. “Well that’s a first from you.”

“You can’t possibly believe that’s all I want from Y/N,” he snaps back, which makes his brother drop his smug expression. “I have something in mind, I just need -” his words are cut off as he notices his younger brother Ron and his friends enter the common room. A smirk slowly stretches across his face and he beelines towards them.

“Ron, really, I can’t keep looking over all of your work,” a frustrated Hermione hisses at Ron who pretends to not hear her. She takes the roll of parchment and forces it into Harry’s hand.

“I don’t know anything about this,” Harry spouts and tries to hand it back to her.

“I don’t care, and frankly you two should have been doing your own work years ago!”

“Oh, come off it,” Ron snaps. “It’s only a few paragraphs and I’ve already written it. You know I’m terrible at grammar and all that.”

“Even more reason for you to do this yourself,” she says smugly. “As a prefect-”

Harry stands in the middle of the two as they continue to bicker. He did what he learned from the Dursley’s, completely dissociating until they wear themselves out.

“Just who I wanted to see,” Fred announces as he snakes his arm around his brother’s flaming red neck.

“Not right now,” Ron grunts and tries to push Fred off of him. It was no use though, as his grip just tightened even more around his neck.

“This is urgent, so yes, right now.” He tugs him forward, sending Ron off the hilt and into a chair.

“Urgent?” Hermione asks while scanning his hands for some kind of new invention. They had gone toe to toe over them not testing on first years enough times, that she always assumes it’s something to do with that now.

“Yes, for Y/N,” he admits, which makes her shoulders drop immediately.

Hermione perks up, “is she alright?”

“I mean physically, yes.” Fred scowls down at his younger brother and his messy copper hair. “I just need, well, a favor.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Ron scoffs and crosses his arms. “What do you want?”

“Oh, nothing much,” he says nonchalantly before dropping down to his level. “Just the password to the Prefect bathroom.”

“That’s it?” Harry asks as he finally starts to listen again.

“That’s it!” Fred exclaims. “I just need the password and then I can be on my way.”

“No,” Ron says bluntly.

Fred’s smile drops. “No?”

“No,” Ron reiterates with an even harsher tone. “I don’t know what weird prank you have planned, but I actually like that bathroom thank you very much.”

Fred takes a breath to calm himself. “It’s not for a prank.”

Ron waves his hand dramatically. “Well whatever plan you have in your head, I want no part of it.”

Hermione steps in before Fred can reply. “You said it has something to do with Y/N?”

He nods as he runs his hand through his long red hair in frustration. “I really don’t want to say what it is. Why can’t you just trust me?”

Ron rolls his eyes. “What are you mental? I can answer that with a million different reasons-”

“I’ll give it to you,” Hermione pipes up and places hand on Ron’s shoulder. “If it’s something for her, then I trust your intentions.” She had seen how protective the Weasley brothers were over Y/N. Whatever he had planned, her gut knew that it was important to him.

Fred nods and lets out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t about to beg, but digging up blackmail on Ron would have taken up time he didn’t have.

“Thanks,” he says simply while looking at Hermione. “You always were my favorite of Ron’s friends.”

Harry’s mouth goes slack. Hermione beams.

------- Later that evening---------------

A screech wakes you up from a nap, making you sit up in bed at once. You rub at your eyes until the blurred circle at the edge of your bed comes into view. An owl - a small brown one with large golden eyes. Tied to its legs is a letter. Even at a distance you can see that it is addressed to you. Your heart drops, your mother never sent two letters in one day. Though, she wouldn’t use any other owl but her own.

You reach out and untie it quickly, hoping to solve the mystery of the sender before it sends another wave of anxiety. Your fingers trail over the letters, they didn’t look familiar to you at all. It was written sloppily with black ink and off center. You turn the back and slip your nail under the crease to open it.

Y/N,

I’m sorry for the stupid joke I made earlier. I know there’s no boy in Hufflepuff that can compete with me.

Your smile falters when you remember how cold you were with Fred. What he said was something he didn’t need to apologize for.

Meet me in the Prefect bathroom at 1am. The password is ‘Pine Fresh’.

Yours,

Fred

You have no idea what to expect from Fred, but the idea of being alone with him sends your heart on a rocket to the moon. You just hope that your low mood doesn’t sway him off of whatever he has planned.

—------------- 1AM—---------------

The time moved so quickly that the next thing you knew, you were already at the Prefect bathroom. You stare at the door, not entirely sure how to open it. You clear your throat and softly whisper the password that was written on the letter. The large wooden doors slowly swing open and reveal the massive bathroom behind it.

The moon peeks through the large pane window and glides across the ripples of water from the giant bath in the middle. It must have just been freshly filled, as the steam was rolling off the top and into the dark. You step forward and the doors shut behind you. The soft lapping of water can be heard against the marble siding of the tub. Large sculptures and paintings line the room, giving it an ethereal feeling that you’ve never experienced before.

That’s when you spot a silhouette at the corner of the bath. The moon’s rays capture Fred’s copper hair laying delicately on his broad freckled shoulders as he turns his head to you. He snaps his fingers and small objects begin floating around the water, some hovering right over - others keeping still at the edges. He spoke softly and objects revealed themselves to be candles, just like the ones you once saw in the Room of Requirement. You gasp as you are able to finally see the rest of the scenery. Flower pedals are strewn across the floor and dancing across the top of the water. It smells of roses and lilies, your two favorite scents.

“You made it,” he says with a smile.

“Of course I did,” you laugh as your eyes wander around the marble walls. “What’s this all about?”

Fred lifts his feet from the water and walks towards you with his arms outstretched. “What, I can’t do something nice for my girlfriend?”

Your heart jumps hearing him say the word, ‘girlfriend’. You still haven’t gotten used to that yet. “No, that’s not it,” you say shyly while letting him envelope you. His bare chest is warm against your cheek as he runs his fingers through your hair.

Fred pulls back and kisses your forehead. “Come on,” he whispers. “Let’s get undressed and take a little dip.”

“Okay,” you say breathily as he turns and slips off his pants. You remove your clothes one by one, folding them as you go and laying them by the stairs that lead to the tub. Instinctively you hold your arms over your breasts as you get to the water’s edge. Fred holds out his hand to take yours then guides you into the tub.

The water was at a perfect temperature and the floral scents immediately greeted you at once. Your hair floats over the top as you get to the deeper part where Fred stands waiting. He pulls you in and brushes the wet strands from your forehead. There was something different about his expression that you just couldn’t place.

“What is it?” You ask as you reach up to stroke his face with the back of your hand.

“Nothing,” he says with a strained tone. His copper irises reflect a candle that passes behind you, and he furrows his brows. “I just, I wanted to tell you -” His pupils dart away as he perpetually begins shifting his body more. “I think that you’re amazing.”

“Oh,” you say with large eyes and a rose tint reaching your cheeks. “I think you are too, Fred.”

He licks his lips, his face moving closer to yours. He was concentrating on exactly what words he needed to use to express exactly how he felt. “And if anyone tells you otherwise, you should ignore them.”

You crease your brows together, as you’re trying to understand where this is coming from. Fred was never the type to give these types of speeches.

“Even if it’s a teacher, or a slytherin, or.. Even a parent,” he drifts off as he sees your expression change, this time to complete shock.

“The letter,” you mutter while backing up. “How did you know?”

“You dropped it,” he answers quickly. “It’s awful -”

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” you squeak out and fall back onto a step, and land with your head just above water. You were able to forget, even just for an hour, and here it was being shoved in your face yet again. It wasn’t just the old wounds reopening, but you are also deeply embarrassed.

“I know,” he admits and kneels in front of you. “Please, Y/N, I didn’t want to upset you. I read it and I just, I needed to make sure you were okay.”

“Well,” you rub at your face with your palms. “I’m not! Okay?” You feel yourself falling back into shambles as the memories of your mother’s words come back to you, engraving in your brain as they were on the paper.

“O-okay,” Fred stammers and sits to the side of you. He glances between the moon and your red face. He was never good at these things, but he was going to try his best. “I don’t think anyone would really be okay after that.”

You shake your head and collapse against him. “You don’t know what it’s like,” you sob out. The seal of control has been broken, and now there was no stopping the tears. “No matter what I do, I’m never enough.”

Fred’s warm fingers trail from the base of your neck and tangle in your wet hair. He pulls you against the crook of his neck as you slowly fall apart.

“I get good grades. I never get in trouble. I do everything right but I will always be the worst to her.” Your eyes well so many tears that the scene around you goes blurry. “What am I supposed to do?”

There is a lump in Fred’s throat as you speak. He can feel how raw and visceral your pain is. If there was one spell he knew that would lift the pain from inside your chest, he would have sold his soul right then and there to make that happen for you. “I think,” he says softly, pulling your face back so he can look you directly in the eyes. “You should start living for yourself and say fuck all to her.” He holds your chin gingerly with his fingers. “They are going to regret doubting you, Y/N. You are an amazing witch and a wonderful person.” His thumbs catch your tears on your cheek. “And if you ever forget how special you are, then I will be here to remind you.”

Just like that, the dam finally fully opens and you wrap your arms around his neck sobbing. Never in your life have you felt so emotionally vulnerable, and you thank Merlin that it is with Fred. You stay wrapped up in his arms for what felt like an eternity as you let out every emotion that you’ve held back for years. He remains silent and holds you tightly against his chest until your sobs slow, and your breathing goes from spastic to rhythmic.

The world finally comes back to you after the surge of intensity passes. You realize that not only is the room quiet, but so is your head. That nagging self hatred has lulled itself back into the deep recesses of your mind for now.

You sit up and look into Fred’s face. He grins at you as his eyes flick back and forth, trying to read your expression. “Thank you,” you say hoarsely. Then without any hesitation you add, “I love you, Fred.”

Fred’s mouth goes slack and he pulls you into a hug. You wrap your legs around his waist and perch yourself on his lap as he looks dumbstruck up at you. “I love you too, Y/N.” Those words leaving his mouth felt other worldly, but he knew there was nobody else on earth who deserved them more than you.

Hearing him say it back lit a fire inside of you. You meet his lips with yours, and he immediately grabs you by the hips and matches your energy. Just like that, the pain was gone and was replaced with passion. Your tongues dance as he guides the edge of your cunt onto his erection. You gasp and dig your nails into his shoulders as you press down on him.

He grabs a fist full of your hair and pulls your head back as your walls finally accept him fully. You moan his name as his cock pulsates deep inside of you, his hips staying pressed against yours. His fingers dig into your sides as you begin riding him slowly.

The water didn’t help the lubrication as much as you would have thought. If anything, it made him feel bigger than ever. You do your best to relax your muscles as you continue to move up and down on his shaft, but that’s quickly made more challenging as his fingers find your clit.

Fred licks his lips hungrily as he watches you with dinner plate pupils. “Keep going, you’re doing so fucking good,” he says in a low growling voice.

You do as you're told, even though your legs begin shaking violently as an orgasm approaches. “Fred,” you groan and roll your head back. “Please, I’m going - going to-”

He laughs through a moan and begins thrusting from underneath you. “Go ahead, darling. Cum for me.”

You cry out as another thrust sends you right over the edge. You crumble against him as he continues to use your body. The water splashes and spills over the marble walls of the bath as he increases his speed. He holds your neck tight, but not enough to cut off oxygen, so that he could watch your face as he cums. You feel his hips shudder and he pushes you down hard against his lap.

“Fuck!” He yells out and pulls you into a kiss by your neck.

You squirm against him as he fills you to the brim, leaving you shaking and helpless against his chest. He rolls his head back and releases the tension on your neck and side. “Merlin’s beard, how are you this good every time?”

You laugh and then whimper as he pulls himself out of you. “I swear, our bodies are made for each other.”

He kisses the top of your head and combs through your hair. “Georgie and I really have the best girlfriend out there,” he laughs. “Fuck.”

You never understood what they saw in you, but every day you’re starting to believe them more and more. Besides, he was right, you were going to start living for yourself. Who cares what your mom thinks anymore. You’re a legal adult and don’t have to follow any of those self esteem killing rules any longer.

You just hope, more than anything, that Fred and George will continue to stand by your side every day.

You wrap your arms around Fred’s chest and breathe out. “This is the best apology I’ve ever gotten.”

Fred smirks and stares up at the statues among the ceiling. “And it’s the best one I’ve ever given.”

#harry potter fanfiction #fred weasley smut #fred weasley #fred weasly x reader

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peachdues · 7 months ago

Note

Hi Peach!

the latest episode of KNY and your recent posts have just made me go and reread TGW - don’t ask me how many times I’ve read it now cause I lost count 🤷🏼‍♀️

I love your take on my emo King so much. Giyuu is quite a deadpan character but you are able to write him having silly/funny moments so well. They don’t feel forced at all. Adding comedy to the endless of list of your amazing writing skills 🩵

And I’m so looking forward to the part II Tanjiro visit scene (poor poor boy) and the Miko chastising Giyuu for having an empty house (she will be chewing him out I can’t wait)

I went back and reread the first TGW teaser you ever posted and I hope you don’t mind me asking but was reader always going to be a Shrine Maiden or did that idea come later as the fic came together?

Now I need to be so honest with you - Peach ‘IT TAKES TWO’ killed me in the best horny way possible, I am quite partial to a wee bit of SaneGiyu so seeing them in a threesome fic the scream I scrumpt 😭 mean corruption kink Giyuu forever

I hope you’re getting lots of smooches and fresh air

much love

-🫧🫧

(PS no stop no don't write for Shinjiro, he’s totally not everyone’s anime dad crush at all 😉😚)

BESTIE BUBBLEEEEEEEEEE!!

So tickled that you reread TGW again. Honestly, I’ve fallen right back into the brain rot it, and spent a good portion of today writing for it 😭 seeing Giyuu smile in last night’s episode made me MELT.

and ALSMSKAKOAKS as always your compliments reduce me to an absolute puddle and I will never be solid again.

I’ll answer your asks about TGW below!

I won’t give away Reader’s backstory quite yet (that comes in Part 3!) but I will say — she was raised in a shrine and doesn’t have a lot of personal items either. She’s actually so overwhelmed by the fact she finally has a home — something that she can call hers, that she almost cries 😭 but you’ll see Giyuu feel sort of insecure about it for the first time (he just wants to impress his girl lmao).

As for your question about when I decided to make Reader a shrine maiden in TGW..

TGW came about because of the “I’m not your enemy” scene that was teased in the OG teaser — hence, why it was the first look. The entirety of TGW bloomed around this one mental image I had of Giyuu strangling his lover. I decided pretty quickly it would be his BOJ.

I knew she was going to be a civilian when I published the OG teaser, but I hadn’t settled on anything more concrete than that. HOWEVER, the second scene I wrote was the first time scene that ends Part I — I wrote that entire thing in like an hour while procrastinating. I first teased the virginity loss scene like, maybe two days after the OG teaser? So in the span of those two days I decided she would be a Shrine Maiden. It was a pretty easy decision — I needed her to have some flexibility RE her background but also give her a stable place Giyuu could come back to and see her. So that’s how I decided! But to answer your question, she was pretty much a Miko from the start, minus like two days lmao.

As for the Tanjiro scene — honestly, I’m enjoying the thought of it sm. Especially because he, like everyone else left alive after Muzan, had NO IDEA Reader even existed.

Giyuu actually takes off from the Butterfly Mansion to get her as soon as he regains consciousness and doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going — so when they show up concerned to his estate, you can imagine how SHOOK they are to se that not only is there a woman there (the implication of what they did the previous night being very clear lmao), but also that she’s introduced as his fiance. Like, “here she is, this is mine. I love her.”

I’m so glad you loved It Takes Two 🫡🫡 I am happy to provide spit roasting always!!

Sending you much love!! Please stop encouraging me to write Shinjuro I have too much to do!! I’ve already started HELP

#so anyways that red dress Kyojuro fic is getting a part 2 with Shinjuro lmao #🫧 anon #🍑’s asks #giyuu tomioka

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https-harlow · 2 years ago

Text

Fight The Feeling Prologue- Part 6 Stressed out & More Surprises

Summary- Urban gets you to surprise Jack on his Creme De La Creme tour, when he realizes how much Jack misses you. When Urban calls you to ask if you could fly out, he realizes how much you also miss Jack when you open up to him.

Word Count- 2.3k

Requested by @heavyhitterheaux 💖

After you and Jack got back from Paris, Jack finished his tour rehearsals, and it wasn’t long until his tour started, and you had to go back to Los Angeles for work. With Jack being on tour and in a different city almost every night, you only got to see each other twice in the two months Jack had been on tour. Once because you happened to have a photoshoot in the same city, but your photoshoot was during the day and Jack’s show was at night, so you only got to see each other for a couple hours. The second time was because you managed to fly out when Jack had a day off, but both of those visits were very brief and towards the beginning of his tour.

It had been at least a month since you saw each other and while you were both struggling with it, Jack was really struggling. He didn’t want you to know though, he obviously hid it from everyone who didn’t know you were together. You two had told a couple of your close friends you were together, but it was still a secret to most people and you both intended on keeping it that way. Urban was the only one who truly knew how Jack felt.

Jack was stressed out and he missed you, he had been counting down the days until tour was over, but he still had almost a month left. Urban had never seen Jack like this before, and Urban was determined to make Jack feel better and he knew just how to do that. Urban called you when Jack was distracted and working, hoping you would answer.

“Hey, what’s up.” You said, setting your phone up as you answered Urban’s facetime. It was obvious you had been crying, but you tried to hide it as you quickly wiped your eyes.

“Hey, are you okay?” Urban asked, immediately concerned for you.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You lied, but the way your voice cracked gave you away.

“Were you crying?” Urban asked and you nodded slightly, hugging your knees to your chest.

“Please don’t –“ You said as your eyes started to water again. “Please don’t tell Jack, I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Urban asked, not wanting to bring up why he called until he knew you were okay.

“I’m just fucking stressed out. I feel like I keep telling Claire I want a break, but she keeps scheduling stuff. I just want to see my boyfriend but every time I have enough days off in a row to fly out, she schedules something else. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but it just feels like a lot sometimes. I was supposed to have today and tomorrow off so I could fly out, but Claire scheduled a last-minute photoshoot, but they went with someone else right before I was supposed to leave so now, I don’t have work, and I can’t see Jack.” You said as you cried, wiping the tears from under your eyes.

“I feel stupid for crying but I just feel overwhelmed. I know Claire wants what’s best for me and she doesn’t know that I want to see Jack, but I just feel like sometimes she doesn’t care about what I want. I know I can say no if I want to, but I don’t want to say no after she’s already scheduled something. I also don’t want to tell Jack how I’m feeling because I don’t want him to worry about me. I don’t want to bring his mood down because he should be enjoying his tour so every time we talk I feel like I’m putting on an act. What is it? One more month until tour is over? I can make it one more month.” You said and Urban sighed.

“I’m sorry. You have every right to feel upset and you should tell Claire no when you don’t want to do something for whatever reason it is. I know you don’t want to tell Jack, but I think you should consider it, he cares about you, and he wants to know how you are feeling. Plus, he misses you too. Jack’s been grumpy because he misses you too, which means everyone else is also struggling.” Urban said, joking, trying to make you laugh. “Jack doesn’t want you to worry about him either, but that’s actually what I was calling you about.”

“Jack’s struggling too?” You asked and Urban nodded.

“Yeah, he misses you a lot. I wanted to see if you could fly out to surprise him. I’ll figure everything out, so no one finds out about you two. I think seeing each other will be good for both of you. Just tell Claire that you want to do a photoshoot with me or something. That way she thinks you’re still working, and it gives you an excuse to fly out.” Urban said and you thought for a second.

“Yeah, I’ll fly out. I think you’re right, I need to see Jack. I’ll feel a lot better after.” You agreed. “I miss you too, but it’s different.”

“I know, I miss you too though, flying you out is 75% for Jack, 25% for me.” Urban joked. “When can you fly out?” Urban asked.

“I’ll figure it out and let you know tonight. Thank you for letting me rant to you. I think I needed to get that out, I feel better already.” You told Urban.

“No problem.” Urban smiled at you. “I’m your friend and that’s what friends are for. I do think you should tell Jack how you feel. I know he hates being away from you too, but I think if you two talked to each other about it, it might help. I do get what you mean though about not wanting him to worry about you, but I know no matter what Jack’s worried about you.” Urban said and you sighed softly.

“I’ll tell him eventually. He should be focused on tour, not me. I’ll be fine.” You reassured Urban and he sighed but nodded.

A few days later, you managed to rearrange your schedule with a little bit of Urbans help, so you could fly out to see Jack. You flew in at night while Jack was still preforming since he had a show that night. You got your own hotel room like you had previous times, but you knew you would be staying in Jack’s.

You had been waiting in your room when Jack and Urban got back to the hotel. Jack immediately went up to his room, while Urban pretended to go to his own room but made his way to yours. Urban wanted to see you before Jack stole you for the time you were there.

Urban came up with the plan of waiting for Jack to facetime you and waiting for Jack to notice you were in the same hotel. You would have been okay with just going and knocking on the door, or simply telling him you were there, but you went along with Urban’s plan.

You greeted Urban and the two of you caught up for about 30 minutes before Jack called you, so Urban hid so he couldn’t be seen by the camera.

“Hey babe, how’d the show go?” You asked as you answered the phone.

“Hi baby, it went good. I miss you.” Jack said. “Where are you?” Jack asked, noticing the new room you were in, but not realizing it was practically identical to the one he was in.

“I’m in a hotel.” You said, glancing over at Urban, waving him over. “My friend wants to say hi.”

“Oh, Madison’s there?” Jack asked and you shook your head. “Zoey?” Jack asked and you giggled as you shook your head.

“Do you want to keep guessing or do you want me to show you?” You teased.

“Show me.” Jack said, and you turned the Camera to show Urban who was sitting on the chair in the room while you sat on the bed.

“Oh, hey Urb.” Jack said before realizing. “Wait. If that’s Urban, does that mean you’re here?” Jack asked, sitting up from how he was previously laying on the bed.

“Maybe.” You smiled, standing up from the bed and making your way to Jack’s room, Urban following behind you. Jack met you halfway in the hallway, instantly wrapping his arms around you, lifting you off the ground as you hugged him back.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Jack said, burying his face in your neck.

“I missed you too.” You said, Jack moving to kiss you.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Jack said.

“You’re welcome.” Urban said, standing next to you and Jack.

“Thank you.” Jack said, smiling at Urban before putting his attention back on you.

“Uh, Y/N, can I have your key?” Urban asked as Jack placed you back on the ground.

“Yeah, why?” You asked, taking the key out of your pocket to hand it too Urban.

“Because my room is next to Jack’s, and you two haven’t seen each other in a month and I’d like to get some sleep.” Urban said, you blushed, and Jack laughed.

“Let me get my bag out of there then it’s yours.” You said, and within 10 minutes you were lying in bed with Jack. Jack was holding you close, almost as if he was in disbelief you were there and was afraid to let you go because you might disappear.

“I missed you so much.” Jack said again, playing with the ends of your hair.

“I missed you too.” You said. “Urban said you were grumpy without me.” Jack laughed softly.

“Well, I wouldn’t say grumpy. But I do feel better when you’re here.” Jack admitted.

“Well, Urban said you were grumpy.” You teased. “I feel better when I’m with you too.” You sighed softly. “I like the privacy of our relationship, but I wish it was easier sometimes you know?” You asked and Jack nodded. You had moved so you were leaning against the pillows and Jack was laying his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his curls.

“I think we’re doing the right thing, but just because it’s the right thing doesn’t make it easy.” Jack said.

“I wish it could be.”

“Me too. All I want to be able to do is show you off, let everyone know your mine. One day I’ll be able to, because I’m never letting you go.”

“One day all of this will be worth it.” You said and Jack nodded in agreement, tilting his head up so you could lean down slightly and kiss him. “I think I might be able to fly out for the final show.” You told Jack. You hadn’t been sure if you could previously, but you took Urban’s advice and told Claire no to a photoshoot she wanted you to do so you could put your relationship first.

“Really?” Jack asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I might not be able to be there, or I’ll have to stay hidden, but I’ll have a longer break so we’ll at least be able to spend some more time together.”

“When do you leave this time?” Jack asked, a question he didn’t really want to know the answer to.

“I’m here tomorrow since you have the day off, but then I have to leave the next day.” You told Jack.

“Oh.” Jack said, pouting slightly.

“Let’s just focus on the fact that I’m here.”

“I know.” Jack sighed. “I just wish you could stay longer.”

“Me too.” You sighed softly.

“Once we do decide to go public with our relationship, I’m never going anywhere without you again.” Jack said and you giggled.

“I don’t think I’ll complain about that.” You said, looking down at Jack, seeing how his eyes were closed. “Tired?” You asked and Jack nodded.

“Yeah, kind of. Can I fall asleep here?” Jack asked.

“On my boobs?” You asked and Jack nodded.

“Yes, they are comfortable, and I haven’t seen them in a month.” Jack joked and you laughed softly, shaking your head gently.

“Now, we both know that’s a lie, but yes.”

“Okay fine, but it’s the first time I’ve seen them in person. I know your shirts still on, but I’ll be taking care of that tomorrow.” Jack said, his hand resting just underneath your shirt.

“Go to sleep before I change my mind.” You teased and Jack laughed, sitting up slightly to kiss you before laying his head back down on your chest.

“I love you. Thank you for surprising me tonight.” Jack said, glancing up at you.

“I love you too, you can thank Urban for making it happen, but I’m so glad I’m here.” You told him before you both said goodnight and fell asleep.

The next day you two focused on catching each other up on what you had been doing since the last time you saw each other. Jack told you about his tour and some random stories that he thought you would like while you told him about a few of the photoshoots you had done, even showing him some sneak peaks at the results of the photoshoots. Even though you and Jack had heard all of these stories over FaceTime, you both listened just as intently as if you hadn’t.

Even though Urban would have been able to sleep the first night you were there, you and Jack were too tired and just focusing on enjoying each other’s presence to do anything more than a lazy make out session when you first were alone, the second night he wouldn’t have gotten much sleep.

Knowing this was most likely the only time you would see each other until the end of Jack’s tour made it hard to say goodbye when you both had to leave, but you two spent as much time together as possible. Unlike Urban’s thought when you first came to surprise Jack, Jack didn’t completely steal your attention all weekend, so you got to spend more time with Urban too, but you never left each other’s side.

Both of you felt a lot better after seeing each other and Urban was glad that he could help both of his friends.

Your relationship had its downsides, trying to keep it private was one of them, but ultimately you loved each other enough to continue to make it work, like you said to Jack, one day everything would be worth it. One day you would let the world know about your relationship and not have to keep secrets anymore. You just didn’t know how you could be so right about something, but so wrong at the same time.

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader

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tartigglez · 1 year ago

Note

Hihi! Congratulations on the 100 followers! :D

Could I request 💙 with Ike Eveland?

Thank you!

"ten-twenty"

・❥・helloooooooooo nonnie i apologise for making this angsty but i will make a lighter ver if you aren't happy with it! see also: i would like to once again apologise for my tardiness :)

・❥・ike eveland x gn!reader

・❥・0.6k

・❥・heavy depression tw, dissociation, reader cries,, like a lot. physical touch, ike may be slightly ooc bc i haven't been keeping up w/ him lately. this was really, REALLY self indulgent and i apologise but it just happened.

ps. I cried twice whilst writing this lollll

ike x 💙

the emotions we’re overwhelming, almost unbearable. soft plush of the couch cushions beneath the weight of your body provided a seat as you hugged yourself, tears streaming down your face. nothing felt real in that moment. was it normal for people to feel this way, simply because of circumstance? was this an amplification of an insecurity of yours, or something more?

you leaned against the back of the sofa, the cushion against your right ear providing white noise as you curled up against it, seeking comfort from it, somehow.

your mind was suddenly impeded by a soft knock on your front door. you slowly uncurled yourself from your current position, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes in case you may have to answer. you felt pathetic, but knew you’d feel even worse if you had to open the door to someone you didn't want to see. you moved the cap on your door viewer to peer out at whoever was intruding upon your emotional outlet.

the fisheye you stared through revealed none other than your boyfriend, who you had completely forgotten had arranged to come over today. you blinked your eyes rather desperately, trying to make it look like you hadn’t just been sobbing your eyes out. you pushed down the handle of the door after unlocking it, slowly pulling it towards yourself.

you kept your head slightly lowered, hoping this would make it look like you were doing fine. he stepped into the room, heels clicking a little on the floor, bright smile not wavering when he entered your home. “hey sweetheart~” he cooed, smile slightly lowering when he realised you weren’t looking at him. “hi ike,” you spoke, voice cracking as you did.

“is everything okay?” he asked, placing a hand on your shoulder in a failed attempt to get you to look up at him. you quickly nodded before trying to walk away to the living room again.

“hey,” he spoke, voice lower and softer than before, “look at me. are you okay?”

you nodded once again, trying your hardest to make eye contact with him. he could tell you had been crying, so clearly your methods of trying to make yourself look happy didnt work. as your eyes met his, you spoke again, “i’m fin-”. this time, another voice crack was the result of tears welling in your eyes, and face contorting into a frown. sudden uncontrollable bawling took over as he pulled you towards him instinctually, drowned sobs making their way into his shoulder.

he knew you struggled like this sometimes, he knew sometimes it would hurt more than others, and he learned. he was willing to learn for you, he wanted to know how to help, how to make things feel a little lighter, whilst respecting that this was your battle to fight.

“shh, it’s alright, i’m here now,” he whispered, quiet voice reverberating against you. “you should’ve called me over” he spoke, calmly leading you towards your couch where you would be able to take a seat with him. “i didn’t want you to worry,” you mumbled into his t-shirt.

it still didn’t feel real to you, you didn’t feel normal, not like this. if there’s one thing ike values, it’s honesty. maybe voicing your concerns would help you feel better.

“nothing feels real anymore,” you whispered, “it doesn’t even feel like you’re real. you’re tangible, but it’s just- do i sound stupid?”

“no, no you don’t sound stupid. but please remember that i’m right here, i’ve always been right here, and i’ll always be right here.” he said softly, “please don’t forget that”

“i won’t” you sniffled, knowing you were safe with him.

“so,” he opened “what can i do to help?”

sfw masterlist

#ike x reader #ike eveland fluff #niji en #nijisanji fluff #ike eveland x reader #ike eveland x you #tartigglez 100 follower event

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my-castles-crumbling · 9 months ago

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Swiftie Anon

Hi guys! I got an ask from an anon that might be triggering so I'm copy-pasting it here so I can put a 'read more' button. I'm naming them Swiftie Anon because they said Taylor really helped them.

TW: SH, SI

Hi Cas, hope you’re ok, because I sure as hell am not. Trigger warning, like mentions of self harm and stuff like that I think.

I’m a seventh grader and recently I’ve been thinking about killing myself a lot more than I usually do. During the pandemic I was in 3rd grade and I kinda realized how much life sucked, but when I went back to school in 5th grade, I realized that this hadn’t occurred to anyone else. I kind of brushed it off bc I’ve always been sort of a pessimist but then I sixth grade I started having suicidal thoughts, I think. I just felt really done with everything, I didn’t want to draw or read or write, and my parents were pissed all the time, it felt like my friends were bored of me (I have abandonment issues from all my friends in elementary school leaving me) (I think)and I thought it would just be easier to not exist anymore, it wasn’t that good. I discovered Taylor, the angel that she is, she just felt…like a friend, like she was right there, you know, and I’ve been mostly okay-ish since. But school fucking sucks and in 7th grade I had to do a presentation in front of my class and I started crying and hyperventilating, I couldn’t even stand up. I think I have anxiety idk. I’ve always been shy, and I’ve hyperventilated before when my parents were yelling at me about stuff and my arms started bleeding because I was digging my nails into them. My parents found out at conferences and I got grounded. my brother knows bc he walked in on me crying and hyperventilating once but he’s leaving for college next year and idk how the fuck I’ll stay together without him. My younger sister and I are really close, but I don’t want to drag her in onto this stuff. And ik once I get to high school it’ll be even worse bc high school sounds horrible and I might be all alone again bc I might not go to the same high school as my friends

I haven’t said a word about this to anyone voluntarily and I know I can’t tell my parents. I always lie on those surveys you get at the doctor, and my parents are always saying I should have a more positive outlook on life and try to be happier and it makes me so pissed bc I am trying as hard as I can to be happening but nothing fucking works.

idk what do with myself anymore, a teacher mentioned college today and I almost broke down sobbing bc I don’t think I’ll let myself live that long. It’s just…really hard and everyday feels like years. Should I tell someone? I’m not as bad as I was in 6th grade, but I know I should be getting help somehow. But I suck at asking for things and I can’t trust any adults.

sorry for the rant, I just need some advice. And a virtual, pat on the head or something, idk.

---

Hi hon!

First, (with your permission), I'm like to give you a virtual hug, because it sounds like you're dealing with a lot <3

I'm gonna be really real with you right now: You need to ask for some help. You have a lot going on, and some really heavy feelings, and you don't deserve to be dealing with them at ALL, let alone by yourself.

You're young, and you have SO MUCH life left to enjoy, and suffering through it like this isn't fair. So I'm going to share something about myself with you, okay?

When I was younger, I was very depressed. I was in a bad relationship and I felt very trapped, and I got to a point similar to you.

One day, I got so overwhelmed that I sort of realized that I either needed to ask for help or I would end up making a really bad decision. So, I asked for help.

Again, I'm going to be real: It was SUPER scary. I had to see a lot of doctors and I cried a lot. But after a lot of work, I was able to get better, and now, years later, I am in a (different) healthy relationship, and I have a job and a pet, and I'm here talking to you.

I know this sounds stupid because it's like some feel-good story and right now I'm sure you feel less than great. But I say this because you NEED to ask for help, even if it is difficult. Because there are real things past this feeling. A future job, a future relationship (if you want), a future pet, future kids (if you want). They're all very real and achievable and this feeling is temporary, even thought it feels so permanent right now.

So I'm going to give you some options, since it seems like you don't want to talk to your parents:

Talk to a doctor. Doctors are trained to help you, and they have a lot of resources.

Talk to a trusted teacher. Teachers can sometimes be amazing resources as well, and a lot of them want to listen when you ask to talk.

Talk to a different adult (aunt, uncle, coach, someone!) that you feel close to that will help.

Call/text/message a hotline. Here is an example of a hotline you can talk to via messaging, text, or phone, depending on what you prefer.

But you need to ask for help, because you DESERVE to be happy and living your best life.

It would make me super happy if you message/inboxed me an update, whether you're doing better, worse, or the same! I'm so proud of you for reaching out and I'm cheering you on!

#ask #asks #ask cas #tw: sh

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eyesaremosaics · 1 year ago

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Confronting the shadow self is daunting. I feel so overwhelmed by all the things that are wrong with me… on one hand I have grown exponentially—and changed for the better! However, in other areas I have gotten worse. Mainly my deep seated anger (that surfaces at inappropriate times), and also my inability to regulate my stress responses.

What ends up happening is that I bite off more than I can chew and become overwhelmed. As a people pleaser, I have a tendency to take on more than I can handle, and it takes a toll on my nervous system.

Trying to sit with these feelings. When I am sick for example (which doesn’t happen very often), I get REALLY sick… and then I snap at people, become very short with them and have a bite to my words. This is because I am in a lot of physical pain, but I should just call in sick and prioritize my self care instead of subjecting others to my bad moods. I always say “YES I can do that”, “sure, no problem!” When really I should put my foot down and say: “I’m not feeling well, I need to stay home and rest today”.

By forcing myself to work, I am not only making myself miserable, but also making everyone around me miserable.

Sometimes I come home from working with children… and just cry because I know I failed them that day. I FAILED as a caregiver. This happened a few weeks ago. I was getting stressed out because it was getting late, and the little guy needed to get up early for his first day of school the next day. I was getting snippy with him, and he told me: “Megan, when you get mad at me, it makes me want to cry.” I felt like the most horrible person in the world. I broke down and started crying. Telling him that he was right, and how sorry I was. I explained to him that I was just exhausted from working too much, and that it wasn’t his fault, and he absolutely did not deserve it.

I cried because I don’t do it on purpose, but at times I feel powerless to stop it.

My mother always used to yell and my siblings and I… because she was so overwhelmed with her life… it did a lot of damage to all of us. Don’t get me wrong—I love my mother deeply. She made my childhood magical in many ways, and I have a lot of respect for her. She had a hard time of it when we were growing up (as sole bread winner or single parent a lot of the time) and she did the best she could with what she had. I suppose that’s true of all parents.

Some days you feel good, you know you made a positive impact on a child’s life, and some days you know you (unconsciously) did damage. We are only human after all. My mom feels terrible about how she yelled at us. It must be genetic, because my grandmother admitted to doing it too when she was younger.

It has made me reevaluate whether or not I want to be a mother one day. I am good with kids actually, they love me almost immediately and I get along great with them because it’s so easy for me to become a child again and play with them on their level.

Growing up poor does something to your psyche. You end up with this “scarcity” mindset that I just hate. I realized that I eat so quickly (which is horrible for your metabolism btw) because I was 1 of 4 children—if you didn’t eat quick during dinner, you didn’t eat. Always feeling like there is not “enough” to go around, always starving for more love or attention (because you had to compete all the time to get it).

Seeing all these things so clearly now. The antecedent moment is known to me, but the way forward is not. I have been “catching myself” in the act of bad habits and trying to reshape my behavior. I’m grateful to my mom for teaching this to me too. She was always the first to apologize to us when she was wrong. She was humble and took accountability, which showed us that grown ups make mistakes too.

I remember confiding in my grandmother about how much “mommy yells”. My grandma told my mom what I’d said, and my mom really took it to heart. She would take deep breaths and count to ten before unloading on us. I remember actively watching her try to change, and she did eventually.

I hope that I can manage to do the same, and that the damage I have done to people I love is not too great to be healed.

Trauma is not an excuse. You don’t get an excuse to treat people poorly. Though I know… I have a good heart. I would never hurt ANYONE on purpose. I know myself at my core, and the core of my heart is very loving and compassionate. So now is the time for me yo be more compassionate with myself. By understanding where these wounds come from, I can catch myself and pivot my response. I can also apologize and say: “I’m sorry, I am working on managing my stress better, please let me try that again.”

A month ago, my boyfriend, my cousin, her girlfriend and I all went up to Mendocino. Yury (my boyfriend) manages 62 acres up there for the scouts organization he volunteers for. Usually we camp or stay in the cabins, ride around on the ATV’s, toast marshmallows, swim in the creek etc. It was a fun weekend, until the accident.

My little cousin, is my cousin through marriage. When I was a freshmen in high school, she was just a baby at 2. We went together like peas and carrots. I saw so much of myself as a little girl in her, and I felt very protective of her. Her parents were both tweakers, so they were mostly absent. My grandma, my grandpa and I all had a hand in raising her. She grew up to be a good kid, but I was concerned to hear from her girlfriend that she was very reckless at times and made dangerous impulsive decisions.

Basically, what happened was a long chain of events that I won’t detail here (because it will take too long to flesh out), was that after warning her all day that the ATV was not a toy, that she needed to go slower on it, she didn’t heed my warning and flipped the ATV over with my boyfriend riding in the passenger seat.

My cousin’s girlfriend and I were in the cabin listening to music. She asked me if I heard anything, but I said it was probably just the music. Then we heard it again, we opened the door and went outside. We saw my cousin running up the path screaming “help! The atv flipped over! Yury is trapped underneath it!”

My boyfriend was pinned under the ATV. Adrenaline kicked in and I thought for sure he was dead. I didn’t want to believe it. I was terrified. The next thing I remember was hearing him screaming in pain. My brain relaxed slightly, to hear he was still alive. Now time to asses the damage. I tried to lift the ATV on my own, but no way, it was too heavy. The girls all started pushing from different sides in their panic, which was grinding the roll cage further into his leg.

He screamed in agony. I told the girls: “on three we need to lift at the same time girls ok? One, two, three!” We somehow managed to lift it. First just to release his leg. I looked over Yury to make sure no vital organs or anything were crushed in the crash. Thankfully it was just his ankle and his foot.

Somehow we managed to push the ATV back on to its wheels, so it wasn’t leaking fuel on the ground. At this point the full blown shock and panic set in. I ran to the first aid to try to find bandages, but I was panicking so much that I was looking but not able to read words. I was kicking the boxes screaming “I’m looking but not seeing”. My cousin came in and said; “why don’t you let me do that?” At which point I rounded on her and started screaming “why did you do that?! Why did you fucking do that?!”

I was so furious. I went up in flames. I must have looked possessed. Her girlfriend told me that my screaming wasn’t helping and to pull the car around so we could load yury in.

The situation was critical. It was the middle of the night. We were in the middle of nowhere, no cell reception, and the closest hospital was a hour away. Not to mention we’d all been drinking. I told them: “I can’t drive, I’ve definitely had too much to drink.” I certainly wasn’t going to let my cousin drive after the accident she just caused, thankfully her girlfriend had stopped drinking hours before and offered to do it.

We had to drive into town 20 minutes to get cell reception so we could find an ER. Willits said it was closed. So we had to go all the way to Fort Bragg on these foggy, windy roads with deer jumping out in front of the car—which wasn’t even my car by the way, it was my bosses car. All while Yury is screaming in pain in the back seat.

We almost blew up the car by accidentally… by turning the ignition on while it was pumping gas. Thank god we turned It off in time. More stress.

It felt like an eternity until we got to the hospital. I kept screaming over and over how stupid this was, blaming my cousin and asking why she ignored my warnings all day and thought she could Tokyo drift the ATV like that. To be fair, my anger was justified, she almost killed my boyfriend. However, my yelling and screaming like a lunatic was not. On the drive I managed to calm down, and just focused on helping her girlfriend use the controls on the BMW.

I knew that I needed to just shut up and stop yelling, because I was doing damage. It was better for me to not talk to my cousin because I wanted to kill her at that time. It would be different if I hadn’t been warning and lecturing her all day not to drive crazy on it. Then it would have been on us. However, her eye rolling and dirty looks whenever I said anything about it, and the blatant disregard soon as she was out of range where I could see her—led to the situation we were in.

Granted we had all been drinking, so no one should have been driving, I didn’t say she could, I thought Yury was going to do it. He mostly smokes weed, and is a very safe driver. He’s the only person I trust to drive my car. He blames himself for letting her drive, and truthfully he shouldn’t have let her. However, she is one of those people who doesn’t look drunk when they are. She doesn’t slur her words, or stagger, she looks and talks normal.

She begged Yury to let her drive it, and he relented because “she looked so excited like a little kid” and he wanted her to have fun. He also thought she would go slow in the dark. We were all about to turn in for the evening when this all went down. Yury didn’t even have time to tell her to slow down before it flipped.

We got through it, but Yury is out of commission for months now. He fractured 4 bones in his foot, and he may need to see a specialist to reset the bones or put pins in some of them. He can’t walk, shower, go anywhere or do anything without help. This has put a lot of strain on me, as I already work multiple jobs, and have very little free time as it is. Of course I’m happy to do it and help him, but it has exhausted me. I basically have no time for self care.

He can’t work, so the responsibility to pay all our bills has fallen on me. He manages to scrape rent together with the little remote work he can get done, but everything else (groceries, pg&e, gas, etc) falls on me, and I don’t know if y’all have noticed—but shit is expensive now.

I worked a crazy amount of hours in August. 60-70 hour weeks. Didn’t have a day off for 3 weeks straight between all my jobs. Though I am grateful for the work, grateful that I make good money, not having any free time really wears on you after a while.

Hence why I was getting snippy with the kids. Not an excuse, but it is the origin. Not to mention my cat Persephone of 21 years literally died in my arms… I had quite a bit of trauma compacted into two weeks. To top all of this off, I gad a terrible session with my therapist of the last 5 years, which I think concludes our working relationship.

I told my therapist about the accident, and at the time I was very angry still. The day after the accident, I apologized to my cousin for yelling at her, but expressed my concern that she has these reckless behaviors, and that I hope this will serve as a wake up call for her not to do things like that in the future. She looked at me like she hated me and said: “yeah, ok.” And got in the car and left.

My therapist started in on me, about how I’m actually not taking accountability as I said I was. She rounded on me saying that I’m still saying it’s all her fault, which in my opinion it was, not to mention I was still mad. I think I had every right to be mad, Yury and I have over 4 grand in medical bills that we can’t pay, not to mention the fact that he can’t work, and I have to work double shifts to pay our bills. All because she ignored what I had been telling her all day long. I would not have let her drive the ATV. True, Yury shouldn’t have let her drive, but it was such a relatively short distance, and had she been driving normally, none of this would have happened.

I know it was an accident, I know she didn’t do it on purpose. Yet ultimately, she is refusing to take accountability for the part she played. She did not apologize to Yury, she had not called to ask how he’s doing. Nothing.

She ran to my grandmother and basically painted it like Yury and I told her she could do that, and made all these excuses for her behavior —which is just infuriating. All you had to do, was apologize, check in on Yury and maybe offer to help him out a little while he heals. It’s not that hard. Yet again, for some people, apologies are hard. She wasn’t raised with repentant parents, she never learned how to do it.

My cousin told my grandmother that our relationship is permanently damaged because I yelled at her. That my apology was too late. My grandmother said: “she looked up to you all her life, and you crushed her when you yelled at her.”

Apparently she was hurt in the accident as well, bruising on her side. I didn’t know she was hurt, had I known I would have made sure she went in to the hospital to get checked out. I wrote her a long letter apologizing for telling the way I did (again), but expressing why I was driven to that point and hoping that we could talk and resolve this when she’s ready. I told her I still love her, and always will, but I hope she makes healthier choices in the future. She never responded to my letter, it’s been over a month now.

I remember what it was like to party with a death wish. I was there at her age.

I remember what it felt like to want to chase oblivion, because the pain inside was catching up to you and you had to keep running or it would devour you whole.

I feel so heartbroken about the whole thing. The dissolution of my relationship with her, my anger toward myself at not having control of my rage, my fear for Yury that his leg will never heal right and he may not ever be able to hike or do any of the outdoorsy things he likes to do again…

To return to my therapist, it felt like she was taking my cousins side (just like my grandmother which also devastated me, as my grandmother has been my favorite person since I was a baby), and that I was crazy for being angry and upset that she almost killed my boyfriend.

People can’t always control how they respond to trauma in the moment that it occurs, but we can control how we respond after. My therapist continued to imply that I yell at people the way Yury yells at me sometimes. Not true. I yell because that was modeled to me by my parents, and I attract partners who model this dynamic to me and I live it out unconsciously. I told my therapist that in the moment, I felt like I had no control over my panic and anger. She replied very condescendingly: “how scary that must be for you. That you can’t control it.”

She also insinuated that I shouldn’t be a mother. I know therapists are supposed to challenge you, but they are not supposed to leave you feeling suicidal after a session with them. I felt personally attacked, none of it felt constructive.

Truthfully, things have been feeling off for the last year or so with my therapist. She dropped hints about “making our sessions more infrequent” and talking about ending our sessions when my healthcare runs out. This was the final nail in the coffin that showed me she doesn’t have any respect for me as a person, and honestly doesn’t want to be working with me anymore.

That’s fine, it’s time to move on. She wasn’t a great therapist anyway, I just used the service because it was what my insurance would cover. It stopped being beneficial to me years ago. She did help—I think—or at least it helped to have someone to bitch to once a week.

I had a therapist before her… that I really loved. In 2016 I started seeking therapy because my whole works fell apart during my Saturn return. I lost my home, my job of 7 years, my long term boyfriend who I thought I was going to marry… I lost my best friend. Then a mass exodus of friends taking her side and leaving me too. It was one of the darkest times in my life. I was starving, unable to afford food.. it was a nightmare. My therapist at the time was really amazing , and in the short time we worked together I made more progress with her than anyone else I had seen.

She was spiritual, used to do tarot with me, as well as reiki healing etc. she helped me see myself and the world in a whole different light. It was a Shane we had to part ways because my insurance wouldn’t cover her, and I couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket. I was going hungry so I could see her. I wish I could find that therapist again.. she told me once: “You have been through an abnormal amount of trauma for someone your age, and it’s impressive how resilient you are. Most people with backgrounds like yours, end up on the streets using heavy drugs.”

I’ve been rambling for hours… but I guess I just needed to get this all out. Since all these recent events unfolded, I have been working really hard at taking deep breaths and monitoring my stress levels.

Also I recognize how much I complain, and I think a little gratitude practice would be good for me.

I have a lot to be grateful for. I have work, both my jobs are pretty kush in spite of the crazy hours, I have my health, thankfully my health issues subsided in 2021. I have a home, in a city and a neighborhood that I love. I did a lot of traveling in the last 2 years, I have my family with me, I have good friends. I have creative opportunities coming my way. Yury is still alive, I could have lost him. Thankfully he will heal eventually, and things will go back to the way they were. I have self awareness, which means I can change, and I have love in my life. Lots of it. I need to remember that, when things get tough.

#me #self improvement #stream of consciousness #digital diary

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koizumicchi · 2 years ago

Text

Fantasia LOVE&KISS Leaflet English Translation

Fantasia LOVE&KISS Animate Limited 4P Leaflet

Draft: HoneyWorks Author: Kousaka Mari Illustration: Yamako

-----

T/N: Happy New Year! I decided to translate this bonus leaflet from the Animate shop.

Keep in mind that Japanese and English aren’t my first language. I never claim my translation (attempts) to be error-free. As always, if you’re going to use or reference my translations, please do not claim it as your own and credit me.

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【LIP×LIP Stage Play Commemorative Special Interview】

Interviewer: This musical was the first challenge for the both of LIP×LIP. Please tell us what you feel now that you have successfully finished the stage.

Yuujirou: That’s right. Since it was my first time performing a stage play in a musical, it was immensely difficult. There were numerous times I was completely baffled but, from the beginning until the end, I was able to practice in a harmonious ambience, so I was able to challenge the actual performances without being nervous. My co-actors and every staff, were a great help, and above all, it was thanks to the warm guidance of Ookido-sensei.

Aizou: Really, it was extremely difficult in a lot of ways. Particularly my partner’s... Ouch! Or rather than harmoniously, the enthusiasm of Ookido-sensei, the director, was so strong that I was a little overwhelmed by his commitment to the stage; at first, I was worried though whether I would be able to do it and keep up. Nonetheless, Inogawa Rino-san, who plays the role of the princess, including Kurashita Aoi-san, who plays the role of her younger sister, and with the help of all my co-actors, I am grateful that I managed to overcome it!

Yuujirou: Aizou had an intensive training in acting and dancing with Inogawa-san and Kurashita-san, right.

Aizou: After all, it’s a stage play created by all of us, right? They taught me and I learned things about acting that I did not know. On the contrary, I taught them how to dance. It was a lot of fun exchanging ideas about how to make the act more interesting. I was thrilled and I want to show it as soon as possible to everyone who is looking forward to the stage play. Things like, this is what makes the play fun and interesting. I learned a lot... Even in my dialogues with Yuujirou, I put in a fair amount of ad-libs. (laughs)

Yuujirou: Yes, like the scene in the dungeon (laughs). And the scenes after wandering aimlessly alone, sitting on the bed, and destroying things.

Aizou: It’s an amusing scene in the actual performance, right?

Yuujirou: It was, but it must have been difficult for the stagehands, right?

Aizou: I think they really had a hard time. But they were all, “We’ll show you how serious we, in-charge of the backstage work, are!”. They came up with a mechanism that only the middle part caves in so it looked like it was broken. That’s why, that scene was a lot of fun to do!

Yuujirou: It was only in senshuuraku (final performance) that it was so flashy in how it breaks; it made a very loud sound and I was so surprised that I looked at it twice, but what happened to it?

Aizou: That was...they thought because today was the last....they dove as hard as they could and it collapsed. The wooden portion broke with a snap... And afterwards, they were like, “You, you’ve done your best!” and were crying while tightly grasping the fragments of the broken bed... I almost cried, too. It endured well until the last day.

Yuujirou: Huh, I wanted to try it once, too. I couldn’t do it thanks to you.

Interviewer: What was the hardest part of this stage play?

Aizou: I want to say everything but, for me, I think it’s definitely the singing part. There is a scene where I sing along with the organ played by Yuujirou. I didn’t quite pass the singing lessons. And, it is also said that the song was not easy to sing. I trained extremely hard. Because it would be embarrassing if people thought I’m horrible at it (laughs). Thanks to that, I gained confidence and I’ve come to believe that there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. I felt pleased. I think that’s the part where I felt I grew the most.

Yuujirou: As for me...ah, yes. There is a scene where I am riding a horse. Because it was bigger than I imagined and it was made realistically, it was a bit difficult for me.

Aizou: I lifted Yuujirou up and helped him get on the horse. Like, here you go.

Yuujirou: Yes. But, I couldn’t quite get on it properly. I feel like I was going to fall off every once in a while (laughs).

Aizou: Now that you mentioned it, is Yuujirou not very good at modes of transportion? Shinkansen (bullet trains), planes, and you sleep quite a lot in a moving car, too. And even if I talk to you, you won’t respond to me at all.

Yuujirou: Well. I guess I’m not good at it. And, I get intoxicated easily. Ignoring Aizou when he talks to me, though, is a usual thing.

Aizou: Why are you ignoring me. And to think, I’m talking about something important here.

Yuujirou: People are sleeping and yet, he asks me things like, “Hey, the ice cream is coming over. What are we going to do!?”

Aizou: If I only ordered for coffee, he asks me, “Why did you not order my ice cream as well?” And afterwards, with a sour look directed at me....That hurts!

Yuujirou: A mosquito landed on his leg (laughs).

Aizou: ----!

Interviewer: The two of you are close, huh. (laughs)

Yuujirou & Aizou: Yes! We’re really close!!

Interviewer: The two of you LIP×LIP are perfectly in sync but please tell us where are the highlights of this stage play.

Yuujirou: It’s undoubtedly the scene when Aizou was in trouble and I gallantly came running to him and defeated the dragon with a single blow. That part must have been the best highlight, right? Everyone who came to see the play watched my performance with bated breath. Even in the questionnaire, there were several comments saying, “Yuujirou in that scene is the coolest I’ve seen and I was impressed!” and it made me happy.

Aizou: Was there a scene like that~?

Yuujirou: There was. Have you forgotten already?

Aizou: If anything, there were a lot more scenes where I rushed to you who’s in trouble; I think written in the questionnaire was, “The scene where Aizou-kun brought the dragon down made my heart skip a beat!”

Yuujirou: Where was that scene? I was the one who saved Aizou even in the snowy mountains.

Aizou: I was the one who rescued you from the snow.

Yuujirou: It was your fault that I was buried, wasn’t it.

Aizou: I just slipped and fell on my haunches!

Yuujirou: Just as I thought, when I am with you-

Aizou: I heard that line so many times that I have calluses in my ears!

Interviewer: Lastly, I would like to ask the both of you for a message.

Yuujirou: I hope you enjoyed the first musical endeavor of LIP×LIP. We will continue to take on different challenges, so please continue to support us!

Aizou: It would make us happy if a lot of people could get to know the new us, who is different from who we were until now. From now on, please look forward to us evolving day after day!

Aizou: From us, LIP×LIP!

Yuujirou: Devoted to all Julietta....

Yuujirou & Aizou: “LOVE&KISS”. Thank you~ ❤

#LIPxLIP #aizou #yuujirou #honeyworks #fantasia rabukisu #lipxlip translation

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multifandomrandomgirl · 1 year ago

Text

Nowhere To Go PART ONE - Carl Wilson x Female!reader

Masterlist:

A/N: Wrote a little something as it would be Carl's 77th birthday today! Part two will be up by next week.

Trigger warning: mentions of abuse

----

Y/N sighed as she brought her hand to the door, getting ready to knock. She didn’t want to come here, and she definitely didn’t want to see the occupant of the house either but she almost had no choice.

After a few minutes of debating the pros and cons in her mind, she finally knocked on the door, she stepped back slightly. She fiddled with her fingers anxiously. After a few minutes of waiting, she heard footsteps approach the door. Then, she came face to face with him.

“What are you doing here?” Carl hissed at Y/N. Carl was the bandmate of Bruce, Y/N’s older brother. Y/N and Carl had never really got on and more often than not, Dennis and Bruce had to sit in between them.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where to go.” Y/N whispered, she blinked rapidly in an attempt to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes as she looked at the guitarist.

“You didn’t know where to go? Y/N, you have an older brother, you should know where to go.” Carl rolled his eyes and began to shut the door on her.

“Carl, please. I know I have Bruce, but I really can’t go to Bruce for this.” The door reopened.

“What you mean you can’t go to Bruce? Y/N, what’s happened?” Carl’s face changed as the tears started to fall out of Y/N’s eyes. Carl grabbed her arm gently and pulled her into his house.

“Y/N, talk to me.” Carl said. Truth be told, he was a little annoyed by the fact she had shown up on his doorstep out of nowhere, disturbing his Thursday evening, but he was a little worried. He despised the woman, but he had never seen anyone this upset, and she chose to go to him over her brother which made Carl worry more. He knew that Y/N and Bruce were practically inseparable so the fact she hadn’t gone straight to him was concerning.

“H-he hurt me again. I can’t tell Bruce because you know what he’s like.” Y/N sobbed, Carl handed her some tissues from his coffee table after he helped her sit down.

“Your boyfriend hurt you?” This was news to Carl. He knew she’d been in a relationship with a guy called Colin, but he didn’t know a lot about him He’d overheard Bruce complaining to Al and Dennis about the guy a fair few times, Bruce seemed to hate him.

Y/N nodded and looked down at her knees.

“Y/N, hey. I know we’re not friends or anything but I’m here if you want to talk about it.” Carl offered, his tone softer than earlier. He decided to not further question why she came to him instead of her brother.

“Thank you.” She sniffed. “Carl, I am so sorry that I came here. I panicked. I left him, I broke up with him and I was too scared to go straight to Bruce because I know how angry he’s going to be.”

Carl stayed quiet as she explained, giving her sympathetic nods every now and then to signal that he was listening to her.

“He’s been violent the whole time we’ve been together, he hits me, he kicks, he’s verbally abusive too. He’s horrible. Bruce hates him, he always tells me how I need to leave him, how he’s no good for me, but I never listened because I was so in love with Colin that I was foolish enough to believe he loved me despite everything he was doing. I’m honestly too embarrassed to go to Bruce, I should have listened to him.” Y/N cried heavier, Carl awkwardly moved an arm around her and he pulled her into his side in an attempt to comfort her.

Carl found that he was angry, he wasn’t sure why. What Colin had done to the girl who was sitting broken in his arms was awful, but why Carl felt like this, he wasn’t sure. He hated Y/N, he really did. He hated it when she would come with Bruce to the studio or a Beach Boys hang out, he hated it when she laughed and joked with his brothers and the other band members. Carl hated her, but right now, he felt this overwhelming urge to help her and keep her safe.

“Shit, Y/N. I’m sorry. I can’t believe someone would treat you like that. You did the right thing in walking out, and don’t worry about telling Bruce, you don’t have to straight away, we can figure out a way to tell him without him going insane. Can I just ask, you don’t have any open cuts or bruises, do you? I can get some plasters and antiseptic.”

Y/N showed Carl a few small cuts hidden behind some hair and some that were hidden behind her jumper as well as some bruises. Carl grabbed some medical supplies and some ice and set to work on cleaning the girl up.

“Thank you.” Y/N whispered as Carl finished up.

“It’s not a problem Y/N. How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you.”

Carl smiled at her and the two sat back on the sofa in silence, every now and then, Carl kept sneaking glances at his bandmate’s sister as her eyes started to flutter shut. He watched her as she fell asleep and draped a blanket over her.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

______

When Y/N woke up a few hours later, she felt a panic rise up in her, it was dark, she was alone, and she was confused as to where she was. She began to cry again as she remembered what had happened earlier and then she remembered, the last time she walked out on Colin, he rang Bruce to demand she return to him. This made her panic more as Bruce had no clue as to where she was, and she had no idea if Colin had rang her older brother.

The door to the room slowly opened and a figure moved into the room, Y/N began to panic more.

“Please don’t, Colin please don’t touch me.” Y/N croaked out, still half asleep and confused as to where she was.

“Hey, hey. Look at me, it’s okay. It’s Carl. I’m here, I’ve got you, okay?” The figure got closer, it was Carl. He rushed over to her and sat next to her, he pulled her into his side and rubbed circles on her back, trying to get her to calm down.

“I-I’m sorry Carl. I woke up confused and panicked and then got scared because I thought you were him. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up and-”

Carl cut her off.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I don’t mind. I’d rather make sure you’re okay. I shouldn’t have left you alone. Look, this is a bit of a weird question, but can I take you to my bedroom? We can um, share my bed? Just so I know you’re okay. I apologise if that’s uncomfortable for you, I just, never mind, I’ll stay with you here.” Carl mumbled.

“I don’t mind, I just don’t want to be alone.” Y/N smiled up at the guitarist.

“I think my bed may be comfier than the sofa” He helped her to her feet and guided her up the stairs. Carl pulled back the duvet and they both got in the bed, Carl moved as close to the edge as he could to give her space, and he hated her so he didn’t want to be too close.

“Carl? Um, this is a bit of an awkward question, but could you move a bit closer, please? I’d um, feel a bit safer if maybe I could hug you?” Y/N asked shyly.

Carl internally sighed but agreed and moved closer to her, she rested her head on his chest and he wrapped an arm around her. She let out a sigh of relief before closing her eyes again.

“Thank you Carl. Good night.”

“Night Y/N.”

Hours later when the pair awoke again, Y/N shot up and started apologising non-stop to Carl for having slept on him and having gone to his house in the first place.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I definitely overstepped last night, in general, not just with the hugging. I shouldn’t have come here knowing how much you hate me, I should have been less of a coward and gone to Bruce’s house straight away. I’m so sorry Carl, I’ll leave now. I completely overstepped your boundaries.” Y/N crawled out of Carl’s bed, found her shoes and ran out of the man’s house before he was able to get a single word in.

Carl frowned, the night had been unexpected and confusing, but he knew he’d changed his mind about Y/N Johnston and he needed to go after her.

#carl wilson #brian wilson #dennis wilson #bruce johnston #mike love #al jardine #the beach boys #god only knows #happy birthday carl

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