#i added a cut so as not to clog up anyone's dash

[seokjinsonlyone]

Idk if you’ve been asked this before but what is your favorite song from each members solo projects so far? Lol the astronaut is the exception 😂

omg!!! we must have some sort of connection bc i was just thinking about this earlier and i'm gonna assume this is in our hiatus era bc the rapline just has so much history it'd be impossible to pick just one LOL so imma go in chronological order of when it was released!!

for hobi it's safety zone like that song just really hold a special place in my heart like the sound of it is soooooo i can't even describe arson is a close second tho

for joonie it's closer hands down when i first heard that track i literally started vibrating on the frequency of bees

for mini it's it's actually hard to pick but his lil ep hit so freaking hard and was so unexpected for me and listen i am not really a lyric girly like i will listen to a song in english mind you could know all the words and sing it but not really pay attention to what it's saying at all like there's this one song i love and i swore by that song listened to it on repeat for hours wanted it played at my wedding that's never gonna happen and everything and like a year later i realized it was a breakup song all this to say that the english version of like crazy makes me soooo insane specifically the line "emotions on ice" like that one line right there changed the trajectory of my life BUT THEN there's alone and like i said NOT really a lyric girly so the way that this song sounds and just the composition is SOOO clever like in the chorus part where he's like "day and night fall" and when he says fall there's that voice effect that literally drops and the overlapping "mayday, get me out of here" that's literally a cry for help like that is so freaking genius and caught me from the beginning and it's just so it's a song i really like to listen to even tho it's really sad LOL BUT THEN there's set me free pt 2 which i realize now i could've just led with bc it really does have both those elements like it has that sound that makes me vibrate and the lyrics that alter my brain chemistry (especially when he's like raise your hands for the past me i'm just head in hands about that line AMONGST MANY OTHER PARTS) AND THE PERFORMANCE MY GOD i don't even know where to start talking about that one so i won't so let's just say set me free pt 2 is king for me

for yoongi i literally decided on my way into the house after getting off from work that dday was my favorite from the album like i was going back and forth between dday and sdl and decided that what takes sdl to the top for me is adora's adlibs like she really snapped but if i was picking my fav from yoongi bc of yoongi it's dday like y'all don't understand the way i be blasting that song everyday on my way to work it be like 5am and i'm in the car volume turned all the way up talm bout time for some paycheck and i'm riding downtown 😭 it's become my ultimate hype song me thinks

and i know my seokjinnie only has the astronaut but it's SO good like "when i'm with you there is no one else and i get heaven to myself" is such a wonderful and lovely line and when he starts belting about how much he loves me god my heart is so full i am at peak military wife whenever it comes on

and the babies haven't released anything yet but i will use this opportunity to say that i am forever changed by taehyung's jazz covers like that festa video that dropped had me listening to jazz for the rest of the week and like you can tell how much he has improved as a singer his voice is just like honey and i gulped it down with a cup of tea fr like i've probably watched it five times by now i love it so much and for jk can i just say that i miss when he was in his silk sonic phase like i was literally screen recording that one live when he covered leave the door open for the first time honestly i have most of that concert screen recorded LOL like baepsae hip thrusts and all but i think of all the songs jk has covered and my god there has been plenty his cover of leave the door open is my favorite and i'd like to hear more of him with that sound there's also this one other song he covered once it was during one of his morning lives it was a korean song and he was imitating the singer but i have no idea of the artist or the song but just know that there's a section in my brain that holds that one specific cover dearly

i have no idea how this got to be so long i didn't expect to have this much to say on this topic BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING

[the-painted-siren]

The monster stays poised on its feet—bright violet eyes boring into you with a bitter cold—before steadily rising to its full height. There’s something about the movement that’s too graceful to be unpracticed. Too deliberate to be mindless. Then you feel your breath freeze in your throat, a wave of familiarity deluging from your memories. You hear the voice of the person who occasionally guides you—who gave you these robes and the warnings to never drink elemental potions. “A lot can turn you into a power-addicted monster, and too much will be fatal.” It is unmistakable. This monster—it, she, they—had been human once.

Finished piece(s) for @general-yasur ‘s 1K DTYIS! The second you mentioned that tidbit about never drinking elemental potions, I knew it was over for both me and Lyra. I had an excellent time making this! It gave me the chance to get really creative. (And also, listening to Kekkai by Hiroyuki Sawano while finishing this up? Best decision ever.)

All the extra information for her is beneath the cut, so that way I'm not clogging everyone's dashes.

Lyra's original color pallet isn't super bright or bold, so I ended up adding a lot of pink and purple to her clothes. Both colors (especially the latter) feature very heavily around her when she's casting magic.) Though it's not very noticeable, she prefers a hooded cloak to a hat, since she feels like it would better hide her from prying eyes.

Her robes take on aspects of her og design, such as having dark colors and slits in her dress up to her thighs and protective gear underneath. The original spellbound robes might have had armor but I ended up changing it to a sparkly shawl (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Lyra's weapon of choice is her usual chiming bo staff—she uses it to cast cloaking spells and ward off predators or evil spirits with the jingling crystals. Also to use for self-defense should something attack her while she's traveling.

Unfortunately, she's not an elemental master so she gets no use out of elemental potions. She merely carries them in hopes she might find someone else to accompany her on her journey. Or perhaps someone else who was fortunate enough to keep their memories like her.

The Overlord is not so keen on her, however. He would have to get creative with stopping her and does so by targeting her dear ones.

She's very protective of the people she loves. If it comes down to it, she would do the unthinkable to keep them safe. In her mind, she might have reasoned that she's an Oni—she's highly resistant to the elements. So that must mean she can hold out longer against the potions' toxic effects than a normal person, right?

No such luck. For Lyra, love is painful—painful but worth it. Even if there are dire consequences, even if she gets stuck in her Empress Oni form with no way out, she's willing to take the risk.

Perhaps Calem has the answer? Though, there's no telling if it would be an answer that anyone likes.

(Might do a very quick sketch detailing where Calem fits into Lyra's story. Tho I don't know if it could be its own separate entry.)

[yellow-faerie]

Houses on Berk

OK so I've been wanting to do a series of posts, of sorts, that outlines what we canonically know about each house of Berk, and then go into my own headcanons for how houses and families work.

This is basically going to be an overview post, going over various rites of passage within Berk and what houses there canonically are. This is really for anyone who wants to use it as I'll be adding links to all these posts to the fanwiki.

I'll be putting everything under the cut to make sure it doesn't clog up anyone's dash :)

What known houses are there?

Stated as houses we have:

House Haddock - Wiki Link - Post Link

House Hofferson - Wiki Link - Post Link

House Ingerman - Wiki Link - Post Link

House Jorgenson - Wiki Link - Post Link

House Thorston - Wiki Link - Post Link

House Larson - Wiki Link - Post Link

To my understanding, house names are surnames and you would might move houses if you got married when you changed your name. The only other mentioned surname I can find for a character placed on Berk is Hardacre which is in reference to a character who appears once in the comics. Because of this, I like to include House Hardacre as another house when I want to and sometimes put some other named characters in it [Wiki Link - Post Link].

I do have a few other houses that are entirely headcanon:

House Witchwood - Gothi's House - Post Link

House Broksen - Gobber's House - Post Link

House Eretson - Eret's House - Post Link

House Hartwell - Valka's House Pre-Marriage - Post Link

And then some honorary, non-Berk houses, as I am a firm believer in the house system being widely used throughout the archipelago:

House Grimborn - Wiki Link - Post Link

House Beserk - Dagur and Heather's House - Post Link

Why do some people use their house as a surname and some people don't?

There are going to be Doylist explanations for why, I'm sure, but here's my Watsonian one (with a healthy dose of headcanon):

So in the case of a lot of minor characters, they do have surnames, we just don't ever hear about them because the characters are so minor it doesn't matter.

I'd say the most likely explanation is that epithets are considered more important than surnames. Surnames (or house names) are sort of a placeholder for a future epithet [think Phlegma the Fierce] or title [think Silent Sven]. I imagine that if someone overlapped with names and epithets/titles, you would stick of House X on the end.

I don't necessarily think that this House system is a Berk only system, mostly because my idea of the History of Berk (and my film variants of Hiccup I and II).

What is the purpose of a House?

Politics, mostly. The heads of each of the houses will have a say at Berk's meetings - such as the one we saw in the Great Hall in the first film, discussing the search for the nest - and would have priority to speak over the rest of the people at the meeting.

If your house is better beloved and more powerful (have control over resources, land, etc.) then you are going to be able to speak more freely at these sorts of things as no-one wants to be the person who spoke over you.

It's also a way for the chief to maintain order. It's far easier for them to have about thirty/forty people (I haven't yet decided what number of houses is reasonable) to keep order within their own house and the different branches.

Inter-house marriages would probably not be entirely weird either as houses are like very widely spread. After four hundred years, you're going to end up with a house that has a lot of branches that are really not so genetically similar anymore (the exception to this is probably the Thorston's which I'll get into in that post).

I don't like to think about it too much because it is a little bit weird but there doesn't seem to be much immigration and emmigration on Berk, so I'm just imagining that this is just a thing that happened and felt it was probably worth mentioning.

Houses also tend to have traditional roles within them beyond being a warrior (you would have the warriors of the house and also those going for a more traditional role) - for example, the Hoffersons are traditionally tailors and work with fabric; the Jorgensons are hunters; the Ingermans are historians and bookkeepers; the Thorstons are devotees (devote themselves to the gods, although it tends to be different for each Thorston); etc, etc.

Rites of Passage

This is just a general section on Rites of Passage that may change between houses or may be consistent. I can think of four that have been mentioned in canon:

Naming

Coming of Age

Marriage

Funeral

My headcanons for this is that all rites of passage (apart from coming of age) can be done by the Chief, the Village Wise Woman and the Head of the house (or a proxy) of whoever is doing the rite of passage. There also appears to be a need for witnesses, since Gobber accompanied Agnut when she went to do the twins' coming of age.

Naming

Naming in the films and shows is shown to have been done by the chief (as in A Viking For Hire) and chosen by the parents (I believe it's mentioned throughout the show that parents had chosen names). A Viking For Hire also shows that the name the parents chose is more like a consideration for the person doing the Naming as Gobber decides to use a different name - not sure how appreciated that was.

This is so that there are options - if you are Stoick, you can't ask either the Chief or the Head of your house to do the naming as you are both, so you can then either have a proxy or have Gothi do it (my headcanon here is that Gothi named Hiccup using Prophecy because Stoick and Valka were struggling with a name).

It also means that you can have the ceremony as big or as small as you want - if the chief does the naming, it's probably going to happen in the Great Hall so there would be large crowds, but if the Village Wise Woman did it, it would be in her poky little hut up on the mountain so barely any people at all.

Coming of Age

I think there are two mentions of coming of age ceremonies in the shows - there's the Thorston Induction and there's Snotlout's own coming of age.

The Coming of Age is the one that is really house dependent and so my headcanon is that it can only be done by the head of the house or a proxy (but needs to be witnessed by the chief or the wise woman or another member assigned by them, hence Gobber coming with Agnut for the twins' initiation test).

I think it needs not be said that killing a bear at nine months is nigh on impossible for even the greatest of the Jorgensons, although their initiation is something similar (due to their whole hunting thing going on) but it's more like hunting a bear at thirteen which is a much more reasonable age to go bear hunting.

Each coming of age ceremony/rite of initiation really depends upon the historical context of their trade, and some houses are more about doing tasks to prove yourself and some are more symbolical welcoming you into the house once you turn into an adult in their eyes.

Weddings/Union Ceremonies

Weddings!! We all love them.

There are only two that we really see/hear about in any detail (that I can remember anyway) - the Hofferson/Jorgenson marriage that fell through, and the Hiccstrid marriage in the third film. Here is what I can gather from those:

There are ceremonial items for each house that are somehow used (think, the Jorgenson Axe) - I imagine that these are probably used in coming of age ceremonies as well as they're symbols of the house

Weddings can be political as there are things exchanged (think the hundreds of boars (???) Spitelout had) - possibly just a bride price but I like to believe that the Vikings exchange resources both ways and often the gifts are more from each house to the newly weds as they set up their new life

There are three parts to the actual ceremony - the Feast, the Vows/Union Words and the Dance. The Feast appears to be before the vows (or, at least, Fishlegs did it before the vow for shits and giggles) but I'm putting it after because it's Vikings, they probably feast well into the night. The Union words probably change between couples, the ones Fishlegs chose being very very old and traditional and newer ones involving a bit more participation from people in the Union. And the dance is just kinda some fun, I don't have much for that other than that Vikings are always up for a good party.

The Bride and Groom traditionally wear white or creams (at least pale colours, possibly using undyed fabric - I like the idea of undyed fabric as if it's to signify the start of something new)

There is a Berk Officiator - this one I take with a pinch of salt. I much prefer the idea of it being the chief, the wise woman or the head of the house that the married couple is joining that does the ceremony just because of stuff I've previously established, but I did create a Berk Officiator for the sole purpose of the Hiccstrid Accidental Marriage AU

Other marriage traditions change depending on what I'm writing but I usually take historical or quasi-historical influences for marriage headcanons here.

Funerals

And then, Funerals. We have a few examples of funerals - Stoick's being a big example, but also a few others. This is the only rite that I could find a wiki page for (as seen here).

Between each, the eulogies slightly differ which I imagine is due to each house having their own slightly different words. I also can't work out if the vikings of the HTTYD world only believe in Valhalla (and maybe Hel), or if we only see the funerals of people they consider fallen warriors.

Again, under normal circumstances, it's probably done by head of the house, chief, wise woman, etc - it's probably done by Gobber for Stoick because it's such a small funeral and Hiccup has literally just lost him.

Final Thoughts

So, this is the first post in what I'm hoping is going to be a series, we shall see if I manage to keep the momentum up. I have all the thoughts but getting them onto paper takes Time.

I'll be adding the links to posts when I make the posts and hopefully because this is under the readmore it should update even with reblogs.

And yeah! That's pretty much it - I might also make some history posts at some time in the future about Hiccup I and Hiccup II, and the Wilderwest and the Dragon Eye (and the tribe before the dragon hunters). If I do that I'll probably add some links for them down here.

[hidingoutbackstage]

Uhh I’m in a creative block so I can’t give you a specific prompt per se, but something Chamberfield 👀 for love and yuri?

Hell yeah peace love and yuri (putting beneath a cut so as not to clog anyone’s dash but yuri should NEVER be hidden <3 so pls read)

Claire was a special kind of homesick. The kind where she was sitting here, in her two bedroom apartment, at the table eating cereal she’d gotten from the grocery store down the street, while wearing cozy pajamas. In all perspectives, she couldn’t be more home. And yet here she was, missing home desperately, because home wasn’t the two wooden chairs where one slightly rocks and the other creaks when sat on, home wasn’t the couch from a a garage sale with a few cigarette burns and various stains, home wasn’t the nightlight in her bedroom that she’d had since she was a child to keep her from waking up terrified and screaming in the dark.

Home was a person, a person who was currently halfway around the world, a person who Claire could feel as she wore said person’s cozy sweatshirt, as she gazed happily at a framed photo of the two of them on the windowsill, as her sloppy handwritten grocery list hung from the fridge with a heart shaped magnet. Despite the lingering feeling of her presence, Rebecca, Claire’s home, was not here, and Claire was getting sick with yearning.

Claire sighed, finally picking up her phone. She told herself she wouldn’t do this today, but to hell with it. She was missing her girlfriend more and more by the day, and she was growing sick of wanting. She flipped open her phone and went into her contacts. To hell with international cell phone charges too.

Of course Becky picked up, because it was Claire who was calling her. Claire half-expected her significant other to lecture her first about being unable to go a day without talking to her, but that never came. She simply answered the phone with a smile apparent in her voice. She called Claire “darling” as she always did, in that sing-song way she was so fond of that made Claire’s heart melt a little bit.

Bashfully, as if they were teenagers, Claire admitted to Becky why she had called. It was probably a given to both women, but Becky “awww”ed like it was the first time she’d heard Claire say the words “I miss you.”

They made idle chit chat. How was Philosophy University? It was good. How was work at home? It was boring. Have you heard from Chris lately? No, have you? No. Watch anything good recently? Not really, you? Not really. Tried out a new recipe for eggs. Oh how was it? I think I added too much oregano. Oh well, maybe next time. Maybe I’ll make it for you. Sounds perfect.

“I really miss you,” Claire blurted out. She dropped her spoon in her mostly-empty bowl of cereal, making a satisfying clang as it fell.

“I really miss you too,” Rebecca said automatically. “I wish I didn’t have to be out here so long, but-”

“Becky, you don’t have to explain anything. It’s work, I get it,” Claire said with a huff. “I just wish work didn’t separate you from me for so long.”

“Well, that’s what these phone calls are for, isn’t it?” She was trying to be gentle, Claire could tell.

“I know, I know,” Claire groaned. “Gd, I’m so clingy. I don’t know how you aren’t sick of me.”

Rebecca just laughed. “Darling, you know I could never get sick of you.” She made a little kiss noise through the phone. “I love you too much.”

They’d been saying those words for years, but sometimes they’d catch Claire off guard and fill her with youthful giddiness. “Yeah, I know.”

“You should distract yourself more when I’m not there.” Ah, Becky. Always a problem-solver. “Go out and do stuff with your other friends.”

Claire snorted. “What other friends? The ones that are as busy as we are?”

“Work friends, then.”

“Is this your polite way of telling me to fuck off and stop calling you, my dear?” Claire teased. Rebecca scoffed.

“I’m trying to help my lovely wife come up with some things to do in her spare time,” Rebecca said monotonously, clearly not even realizing her verbal blunder. Claire did, though, and straightened up to attention.

“Wife?” she blurted out. Rebecca was silent for a minute. “Hun?”

“…Listen,” Rebecca started, and Claire just burst out laughing.

“Oh, hun, you can’t just call me that and expect me to stop missing you!”

“I think of you like that sometimes, okay? We live together, we’ve been dating for a while, I…some of my students have asked if I have a boyfriend, and…”

“Becky, you are so cute,” Claire teased. “It’s fine. That was adorable.”

Rebecca sighed. “Can I hang up now or will you hate me forever? I’m supposed to be meeting with the university director in a few.”

Claire snickered. “Go on, my wife, go do your school things. I’ll just be here thinking about it for the rest of the day.”

Rebecca sputtered, and Claire could picture the woman’s cute blushing face. “I love you. Bye.”

“Bye, my wife!” Claire called giddily as she hung up.

The sharp pang of homesickness in Claire’s heart had faded, replaced by the soft, warm embrace of love.

[indycar-series]

SURVEY RESULTS: THE OFFICIAL LESBIAN ICON OF INDYCAR

First of all I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to rate the Indycar grid. This year's voter turnout was much higher than the last time this survey was conducted, so I will consider that a W for the sport. More surveys along this nature are in the works so if you would like to participate in other fun Indycar surveys keep an eye out. This will be a lengthy report, so results are going under the cut to avoid clogging anyone's dash.

I will begin this report by explaining the methodology behind the Lesbian Icon Survey. Each driver was rated based on the vibes felt by each voter on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being homophobic and 10 being lesbian icon. Ratings were entirely subjective and participants were instructed to leave personal opinions on drivers at the door and focus solely on the vibes. Ratings were added up and averaged to generate the driver's Lesbian Approval Rating (LAR). LAR is measured between 1 and 10 where the closer the LAR is to 10 the more of a lesbian icon they are. Conversely, if LAR is closer to 1 the more assigned homophobic they are. The photos used are the official Indycar driver headshots, and this was done to implement a control variable and take away bias of the survey creator. (Though I did get complaints that the headshots did a lot of them dirty)

Survey participants were also asked two demographic questions to gauge viewership of lesbians and wlw indycar watchers. The results to those questions are as follows:

Now for the meat of the survey: the ratings. This year we had 29 participants who rated 33 drivers on a 1-10 scale as described above. Based on the received ratings, the calculated LAR of each driver is as follows:

1. Tatiana Calderon (9.41 LAR)

2. Colton Herta (7.93 LAR)

3. Takuma Sato (7.76 LAR)

4. Callum Ilott (7.69 LAR)

5. Romain Grosjean (7.41 LAR)

6. Josef Newgarden (7.34 LAR)

7. Pato O'Ward (7.24 LAR)

8. Alex Palou (7.10 LAR)

9. Jimmie Johnson (7.07 LAR)

9. Rinus VeeKay (7.07 LAR)

11. JR Hildebrand (7.00 LAR)

12. Helio Castroneves (6.72 LAR)

13. Kyle Kirkwood (6.66 LAR)

14. Scott McLaughlin (6.00 LAR)

15. Felix Rosenqvist (5.93 LAR)

16. Marcus Ericsson (5.72 LAR)

17. Tony Kanaan (5.34 LAR)

18. Jack Harvey (5.31 LAR)

18. Simon Pagenaud (5.31 LAR)

20. Scott Dixon (5.21 LAR)

21. David Malukas (5.17 LAR)

21. Graham Rahal (5.17 LAR)

23. Juan Pablo Montoya (5.07 LAR)

24. Marco Andretti (4.93 LAR)

25. Ed Carpenter (4.86 LAR)

25. Sage Karam (4.86 LAR)

27. Will Power (4.79 LAR)

28. Devlin DeFrancesco (4.55 LAR)

29. Dalton Kellett (4.51 LAR)

30. Alexander Rossi (4.13 LAR)

31. Conor Daly (4.10 LAR)

32. Christian Lundgaard (4.00 LAR)

33. Santino Ferrucci (2.55 LAR)

Overall, we have an LAR range between the highest rating and the lowest rating of 6.86 LAR. The category with the highest number of drivers was 7.00 - 7.99 LAR with 10, followed by 6.00 - 6.99 with 9 and 4.00 - 4.99 with 9.

In conclusion, based on survey results there is a definitive Lesbian Icon in Tatiana Calderon in the Indycar series. On the opposite side of the scale, Santino Ferrucci was voted Most Assigned Homophobic driver. Runners up in the Lesbian Icon category are Colton Herta in second and Takuma Sato in third. Runners up in the Assigned Homophobic category are Christian Lundgaard and Conor Daly.

If I were to conduct this survey again in the future, there are several things I would change. First, I would make defining categories for the mid-points on the scale. Suggestions I received were 'supportive dad', and 'won't call you a slur but definitely in a frat'. Second, I would like to have results from a larger sample size however I recognize the overlap between lesbians/wlw and people who watch Indycar is not high. While responses are up from previous, the sample size is still too small to have an effective survey.

Pinglist for those who requested to be notified when the results are posted:

@stickerreds @penske-slut @whitewolfcraft @crowded-desk @lescedes @lights-out-in-monaco @teenageracedirector @hhawksy @martiniracing @i-lovealottbh

[ashen-crest]

OC Development: Hobbies!

This is just something I’ve been thinking about as I’m working on RPS, so I thought I’d jot it down in case it’s helpful for anyone else.

I’ve started using this minimalist character sheet from @dearwriters, and I absolutely love it. That said- for my own personal sheets, I’m also adding the Hobbies category.

Why hobbies? It’s not like anyone’s crocheting as they kill dragons, or painting while they save the world. (I mean, okay, maybe they could). Point is, hobbies don’t always factor into the main narrative, so why think about them?

Because I love them your honor

Because I almost always discover something about my character, the world, and the plot as I consider them.

I’ll give you an example from Rival Potion Shops below. (Was going to give you two examples, but...this is getting too long-winded as it is. Apologies.)

I hate clogging people’s dashes with long posts, so I’ll hide the rest under the cut:

Example: Ambrose Beake, Rival Potion Shops

My buddy Ames. He’s the POV character of RPS, and at first glance, he’s very straightforward. He’s precise and prickly. Standoffish, tidy, quiet, a deep thinker.

But running a potions shop can’t take up all of his time. Neither can errands, nor spending time with his only friend Dawn. So, what does Ambrose Beake do in his spare time?  

Now, this line of thinking presented me with a big question: how deep down do Ames’ surface-level traits go? 

Option 1: his hobbies could be just as orderly and precise as he is. Cleaning, puzzles, organizing. In this option, how he presents himself is the same as how he acts when he’s alone.

Option 2: his hobbies show another side of himself. For example, does he enjoy listening to gossip? Gardening? Reading adventure novels? Watching sports? Attending plays? Playing an instrument?

For me, option 2 opens up so many other doors that directly impact the narrative. For example:

I’ve already established in my head that Eli, his rival, has TONS of plants in his apartment above his shop. What if they both love plants & gardening? What if Ames discovers that? How does that impact their relationship?

If Ames reads adventure novels, how does that color his view of the adventurers that enter his shop? Is he jealous of them? Does he work harder on the adventurer-specific potions, knowing how much danger they’re in? Do these books spark the eventual plot-relevant idea that Eli could be an adventuring healer?

Even deciding against certain hobbies on the list helps me out. For example:

I don’t want Ames to like sports because Eli and Dawn love sports. They’re total jocks, and I want that contrast between him and them when they drag him to a sporting event. (this also leads to: what are the sports in this world like? what doesn’t he like about them? etc etc)

I don’t want Ames to enjoy attending plays because he’s very much not in touch with his emotional side, even privately. It’s a huge part of his personal arc in the book.

If we’re thinking beyond RPS, hobbies can genuinely tie into main narratives. For example- who in your squad cooks? Sings? Embroiders? If your characters need food, entertainment, or help patching up a ripped shirt after a fight, who’s there to help? Or- who’s not willing to share that part of themselves? Shy about singing? Can only cook one thing?

And world-building!! If you have a character who cooks, and they travel to a new land, are they snobbish about new foods and spices? Are they eager to learn about new cooking techniques? That naturally leads to: what are the new foods and spices in this land? What are the new cooking techniques? Is there cultural importance surrounding any part of it that your characters need to learn? Let’s say your characters are ambassadors on a delicate mission. Do they know the food-related customs? Do they mess them up? Suddenly you’ve wound back around through world-building and back to the plot, all out of thinking about your character cooking!

Anyway, I think you get the idea. Hobbies are fun, even for your characters.

[awkward-and-indecisive]

OMG I love all the WIPS you have planned, like.. can you just post them all right now? 🥲

But please tell me more about the dog one because... Dean!Dog ?!?(if it's even a thing 😂) Omg can't wait! 😍😍😍😍

Ahah you’re making me blush!! I’d love to post them all right now if only I had the technology to transfer my thoughts directly to a doc without having to write😭😭

Adding a cut to not clog people’s dashes!!

Yessss I love this idea a lot too and it’ll be full of crack!!! I got this idea while I was on Pinterest and saw a post. I immediately knew it would be so fun to write. I haven’t written a lot of it. Only Y/n’s POV in the first chapter💀 (I know I’m so behind. I’m sorry😭)

I’ll put a little bit of it below!!! The non italicised parts are thoughts!!

You were a veterinarian living with the sassiest cat, Midnight, on this earth. How you knew that she was the sassiest because you yourself weren’t so ordinary. Ever since you were a kid you could listen to the thoughts of any animal around you. You still remember the day it first happened to you. Five year old little Y/n was playing with a ball in the park, your mom sitting on a bench a little away from you, reading a book and enjoying the sun. your ball slipped from your hands and rolled away from you and before you could reach it, a dog playing in the park grabbed it in it’s mouth. You helplessly looked back at your mom, who was still busy reading. so you looked back at the dog in front of you, your ball in his mouth, and stretched both your arms out, making grabby hands and that’s when you first heard it.

“I’ll give you your ball back only if you play with me too.” the voice had said. It was a little rough and deeper than the voice of any man you’d ever met. Your confused self had looked around, trying to place where the voice came from when it said again,

“Please. Steve is such a lazy ass. He brings me here and sits on the bench all the time, letting me roam. But you must know that it’s not the same as playing with someone! He's also very stingy because he doesn’t let a dog walker walk me. Please!” the voice now pleaded.

You had looked around again and then back at the dog, pointing your finger at it in question when it nodded clearing all your doubts about the voice’s owner. You had immediately ran to your mom, tears already streaming down your cheeks and had spilled everything to her. She had dismissed you, thinking it was probably your overactive imagination.

When the second time it happened, you were at summer camp. Your group was on the night trek which meant sleeping a little away from your cabins in tents. Your peaceful slumber had been disturbed by the dryness of your mouth. You grabbed your bottle from beside your sleeping bag and shook it, concluding that it was empty when no sound came from it. You went outside your tent to fill your bottle from the water jar when you heard some shuffling noises behind you. You turned and saw a big grizzly bear towering over you and that’s when another gruff voice said,

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want you to tell your incharge to change your camping ground for the night trek as this is where I sleep. You all are kinda in my bedroom.”- it had scratched its ear, -“Another thing, please don’t sing your camp songs so loud because my kids can’t sleep.”

You had let out the loudest scream you had ever screamed, the bear quickly running away and hiding and the two Campers In Training pouring out of their tents to come to you. You had started crying hysterically and they had to call your mom to pick you up when no one could calm you down. You had explained everything to your mom, again, and she had scolded you, threatening to send you away to a mental institute, thinking it was another one of your pranks.

After that night, you never told anyone about it. You met that dog again in the park and talked to him. Both of you were shocked at your power. You wouldn’t call them powers, it was more like a special ability. That was the day you had decided to become a vet. That was the only job you could think of where you could put your ability to good use and that’s what you became. A very good one at that, since you could ask your patients what they felt and always diagnosed the right problem at your first guess.

I have it all planned and let me tell you, the relationship between Dean and Midnight is going to be awesome and so so freaking funny!!! Filled with teasing and sassy remarks!!

Thank you so much for sending an ask!! I had forgotten about this series and now I want to write it!!!! After I complete all the challenge fics😭

Love you 😘😘😘

Wip ask game

[jensonsbuttons]

hi katie! hope you're well!! if you have time i'd love to know what your favourite moments from jb's autobiography are, i've haven't had the opportunity to read it and i love the snipets you sprinkle into our conversations :D

xoxo, your biggest fan

hello hello kajs thank you for this wonderful ask 😌

it took me ten years to answer but only cause i was rounding everything up. by that i literally mean i reread (skimmed) the book for my favorite parts and boy oh boy there sure is a lot of good parts to his book. (and this doesn't even include the 'how to be an f1 driver' which is a whole other list of favorites.)

This got...incredibly long so it's under the cut so i don't clog anyone's dash.

Welcome one and all to a poorly written book report!!! Jenson is an author truly meant for the people. That's a genuine comment because there are favorite parts for me in his book that not only make it interesting to read but easy to read (which is very important to me because i'm incredibly bad at reading.)

Just a general warning for Jenson's book there are some big trigger warnings. I'm not going to talk about anything like this in my reviews but just in case someone is like 'huh i wanna read his book' just be aware. I will list them specifically with page numbers in this next paragraph.

Tw: death and tw: food/weight/diet mentions as well as tw: crash. Death mentions of various drivers (including a child) and his father are on pages 78-81/289/309-15/320. Food/diet/weight mentions page 75 and possibly elsewhere scattered throughout but thats the biggest mention of it I could find. Crash mention on pages 170-173. There are other various ones from his karting days but I apologize cause I did not mark those down as diligently.

That being said! Here are a few things I just love about his book:

1. his stylization!!! - idk if it was him, the editor, the ghost writer, whatever. whoever decided to write this as if it was verbatim of what jenson was saying is *chef's kiss* perfect. 10/10 for stylization. by that i mean you read it and can clearly hear his voice while you're reading. no stuffy words, no added fancy phrases. just pure dumbassery and common speak, which is so refreshing. in my opinion, it reads like a conversation and it was easy for me to follow. Here's some examples!

- "I'd met him (Alain Prost) before, but it was during the whirlwind whistle-stop schmoozefest of the Spanish GP in 1998,..." (Button, 107)

- "'Oh, wicked,' I snapped, not really taking it out on Richard but yeah, taking it out on Richard." (Button, 206)

- "In China, Flavio Briatore, my great friend from Benetton (sarcasm alert), ..." (Button, 222)

- (in reference to parking in the wrong place at the Monaco GP 2009) "...feeling a bit of a Charlie having parked up in the wrong place, but not that much of a Charlie, to be honest, because I'd just won Monaco so eat that, suckers,..." (Button, 227)

- (in reference to the 2009 season and wanting to win the Driver's Championship) "Valencia was a disappointing race for me, although Rubens won, which was great obviously (gnashes teeth),..." (Button, 231)

- "At one point we visited a restaurant and a bunch of turkeys from a TV company set up a stepladder outside the door so that i'd have to walk underneath it in order to reach the street. We pushed it over. Don't look at me like that." (Button, 233)

- "The double diffuser was an advantage, of course. But it makes me laugh (translation: it pisses me right off) when people say that we only won the World Championship because of it." (Button, 241)

- (in reference to some of lewis' tweets) "Personally I wasn't gasping in horror and clutching at my pearl necklace concerning his use of 'WTF'." (Button, 297)

2. how incredibly relatable it is - he really brings himself out of the spotlight. i know a lot of people that get carried away with athletes and other "famous" people and put them on a pedestal but jenson doesn't even let you do that. throughout the book he reminds you that he is human along with his other fellow drivers. good things (and bad things) happen to them and to us. he doesn't allow any room to thing it's all glitz and glam. he starts off the book explaining simple childhood memories and quickly goes to talk about his family life (the good, the bad and certainly the ugly of it all), girlfriends that he's had over the years, how he was almost a father at 19, how he knew he wasn't in love anymore, his focus on race days and getting short with anyone who interrupts him (haha i do that), his passion for racing (how he got it and how he lost it and then regained it) just...real things. i know that's the point of an autobiography but he really doesn't make anything out to more than it is. again, refreshing.

3. his short chapters - there are no examples for this but i'll just let you know, this helped out with reading it so much! the man has a lot to say and switches topics often so usually chapters are only a few pages. sometimes he'll talk about braking techniques or tires and those chapters will be a little longer but otherwise the chapters are 3-4 pages. good for him, i say, because again, it makes it easy to read, interesting to read and allows you to read chapter to chapter so you have a place to easily stop if you want. (usually though, you hate to put the book down.)

4. the pictures - now, i could probably googles some of these or they are in my jbseries (shameless promo for that series go check it out here) but there are some from his early ages that obviously weren't taken by the pros of f1. i can potentially upload some of them if someone hasn't but again, putting pictures in was super helpful to a) visualize just what he was talking about and b) see the young lad mucking around at home or on the track.

5. accent usage - this ties back in with stylization but i want to make it its own point. anytime an accent comes up, he murders it in cold blood and i mean it. it's terrible. i'll let the examples speak for themselves:

- (post-Monaco GP when he parks in the wrong place) "I parked the car, all excited, only to have an official piss on my chips. 'Excusez-moi, monsieur, you haff parked in ze wrong place.'" (Button, 226)

- "...but at least I got to join the two Red Bulls on the podium, where Sebastian turned to me, fixed me with that look of his, a cross between quizzical and bemused, and said, 'It is nice enjoying ziss podium viz you. It iz good.' He was right. It bloody well was." (Button, 244)

- "The tifosi used to say to me, 'Hey, Buttoni, when-a you gonna come drive for us,'..." (Button, 303)

6. his praise towards fellow drivers!! - so the man really loves some of the other drivers. and he makes a point to mention it!

- mentions of Daniel and how he is "podium gold" (Button, 282) because of the shoey and how he wouldn't "drink champagne out of my girlfriend's sweaty trainer, let alone Daniel Ricciardo's." (Button, 283)

- Practically every mention of Seb. It's either an 'oh btw seb was there' or 'wow seb and i were best friends. he's such a good job. i admire him a lot' or "Slightly contradicting what I said earlier about never winning in a Toro Rosso, Sebastian had done exactly that the previous season." (Button, 223) and "As for Sebastian, he's probably the hardest-working driver on the grid in terms of his time with the team. He reminds me of Michael Schumacher like that,..." (Button, 223)

- he said a lot about lewis (honestly a lot which hi they were teammates so it makes sense) and a lot of it was praise. not all but also nothing malicious of course. but, i've rambled for long enough. just know lewis is one of the best in jenson's eyes and he mentions it in this book and in his 'how to be an f1 driver' book.

7. his entire chapter on winning the championship - again, short chapters but pages 234-239 are about the Brazilian GP and for sure I cried.

8. some other random stories I enjoy from his book:

- when he was five he wanted to test physics (my words, not his) and took a tire from the garage and tossed it down the slanted drive, making it bounce all the way down and across the street. when confronted by his sister as to why he said "I just wanted to see what would happen." (Button, 20)

- he got into his dad's car (on that inclined drive still) and after pretending to race with it, he "decided to have a fiddle with the handbrake as well, and somehow managed to let it off." (Button, 21) which, ha ha, the car started to roll backwards, his sister came running outside, tried to stop it but didn't work so the Jaguar was sent backwards across the road and into the neighbors' wall.

- kids at school couldn't get his name right. "'Jenson' was impossibly exotic for Somerset so they settled on either JB, which has stuck, or 'Jason', which was probably just mishearing now I come to think about it. Not forgetting, of course, the inevitable nicknames that I had to pretend I thought were funny: 'Zipper', 'Jennifer' (bit late with that one), and my personal favorite, 'Genitals'." (Button, 27) He calls this back in multiple parts of the book. One where he's at school and is at an assembly "And then the curtain went back and hey presto, it's whatshisname Jason Button,..." (Button, 56) and "...and they're going to write 'Here Lies Jesper Button' on my gravestone.'" (Button, 92)

- when honda found out that they weren't continuing, one of the options was for jenson to drive for toro rosso in 2009. (think about that alternate universe for a second and tell me you don't want to walk into the ocean) he mentioned "[Toro Rosso] wanted me to bring money in the form of sponsorship to help fund the team, which was singularly unappealing." (Button, 207) So, essentially, he avoided being a RB driver (thank god) all because he didn't want to get sponsors

- someone thought he was sebastian so he got a free meal out of it (Button, 265)

- he got incredibly drunk with some other drivers and he broke his hand (305-306)

i'll be real honest: there is a whole other half of the book essentially that i could put in this section but i've taken too long to answer this and i have to get ready for work. just know that he's got *tons* of stories and is not afraid to share them. like i've said: it's the good, the bad and the ugly of his life. he doesn't hold back, whether that's self deprecating jokes or jaunts towards others or explaining in detail just exactly how to brake at a corner. absolutely i recommend the book to anyone and everyone who wants to read it and get to know a new side of Jenson "JB" "Genitals" Button.

[tmabigbang]

Masterpost of TMA Big Bang 2020 Fics

To prevent clogging up anyone’s dash, we have put all of these fics under a read more since there are 28 wonderful fics created for this bang, which makes for a bit of a long post! Below the cut are links and summaries to all the fics created for this bang! 

In addition to this post, you can also check out our fic page (which you can find here)! The fic page includes links to all the fics, art, and the team members that helped create them! You can also use some basic filters for rating and oneshot/multichapter to find fics.

Thank you again to all our participants, and we will see you next year!

Your Job’s A Joke (You’re Broke) by @bisexualoftheblade and @desert-lily

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27590578

Summary: Working at the Magnus Institute was stressful by default. With monsters, mayhem, and potential primordial entities, it has very little expectations for being a comfortable job. However, everyone is allowed to have a little fun sometimes - even an archivist, their assistants, and their really creepy boss. Fueled by spite and a rampant lack of heterosexuality, they all try to balance their work life with a bit of fun and a healthy dose of bullying twelve-times divorced Elias Bouchard.

I Know The End by @williammatagot

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27947966

Summary: Except, for all that beautiful poetry, Eliot was wrong, because the world doesn’t end with a bang, sure, but it doesn’t end with a whimper, either. It ends with the distant-yet-deafening voice of the man Martin loves shouting through a ragged, wild throat--I open the door. (The world ends, Jon shatters, and Martin tries to fix it. The house tries, too, in its own way.)

From the Depth of the Spiral by @trickstergod14

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27842941

Summary: Michael had no idea what was going on. He suddenly woke up in the tunnels under the Magnus Institute with no memories of the past seven years after that fateful trip to Sannikov Land. Watch as he slowly spirals into madness, regaining his memories while strengthening his bond with the Distortion along the way. Can he hide all this from the other Archival Assistants? What will happen when Jon wakes up from his coma? And what does the newly crowned Distortion Avatar, Helen, have to do with all this?

Every Word I Say is Kindling (But The Smoke Clears When You’re Around) by @ohnoimdeathing

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27956897

Summary: The unknowing left Jon stirring in the nightmares of others, watching their torment and suffering and making everything worse. He wanted to wake up, to go back to Martin, Tim, Basira, even Daisy. But he didn’t know how to. Until a voice told him to choose Though, to be honest, he doesn’t remember actually making the choice to stay a monster and live rather than be human and die. The only injury the doctors will talk about is his missing eyes, and why are all the doctors Scottish? At least Martin is here.

Spinning ‘Round (like two sides of a coin) by @awayofunderstandingit

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27835756

Summary: Time is a construct. What we know as past, present, and future all exist at the same time, ad infinitum. • Guided not by time but a spoken word poem, follow along the lives of two intertwined souls, Timothy Stoker and Sasha James. The story of their friendship from the time they meet, through growing apart, to when they fall back together, and through their time working at the Magnus Institute. Witness slices of their lives—not memories, memories would suggest the past—as they exist, ad infinitum, even at The End.

retrouvailles by @jet-siquliak

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27818092

Summary: The Magnus Institute burns. The archivist, for all intents and purposes, burned with it. In a dingy hospital room lies what remains - Jonathan sims. weak, powerless, and insignificant. On Jon’s last day in the hospital, Martin awakes from a coma, unscathed. Melanie King kicks the dirt that once housed the institute. Tim stoker wakes up in the middle of nowhere. Elias Bouchard is dead. No one knows where to go from there. Or: the destruction of one home and the making of another.

Still, I’ll Always Keep the Memory by @revolutionnaire-e

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27932125

Summary: [MARTIN turns, stepping out of the shadows towards him. It is blood, not tears. His left eye is not his own. His eyes never shone that blinding green, never shone with such malice or self-satisfied pride.] MARTIN BLACKWOOD Pleasure to see you again, Archivist.

Making Home by @cuddlytogas

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27664805

Summary: After the events in the Panopticon, Jon and Martin rush to leave London. But making their home in an idyllic safe house isn't that easy: between the layer of dust, and Forsaken still clinging to Martin's heels, it could be some time before they reach an understanding.

called your name ‘til the fever broke by @corpsesoldier

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27845161

Summary: Basira made a promise to her partner. At the end of the world, a monster comes and demands she keep it.

assorted family photos by @lesbianbirds

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27903979

Summary: When setting off on a research trip, it is advised that you prepare yourself for certain oddities that may greet you. or; key moments in a world where the entities are weaker and everyone got a bit more therapy

Timothy Stoker’s Guide to Dating by @pezilla

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27841267

Summary: Timothy Stoker has a lot of advice when it comes to matters of the heart, online agony aunt, gossip monger and general love guru. He has a list and he sticks to it. Or he did. That was before he took a job at the Magnus Institute and before he met three of the most fascinating and frustrating people to ever come into his life. Rule #7 under no circumstances fall for a co-worker. Yeah, that rule was starting to become a problem.

Running the Institute by @drowsy-salamander

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27878306

Summary: Caroline Ferguson, the entirety of the Magnus Institute's legal department, is furiously ignoring any weirdness that could be going on in her workplace, from the tech issues to the vanishing colleagues to the everything about Artefact Storage, Caroline will turn a very deliberate blind eye. They're are not her problem. Now if only those murders could also stop.

kindred spirits (not so scarce as I used to think) by @pollylittlehigher-littlelower

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27914821

Summary: An Anne of Green Gables inspired AU, set in modern day England. Jon and Georgie are childhood best friends, but the two stop talking after a falling out. Even doing their best to avoid each other, Georgie struggles to escape him, even while dealing with her own mental health issues and a blossoming romance with her housemate, Melanie. Is Jon truly the kindred spirit she once considered him? Or will the two eventually part ways for good?

Friends of Empty Graves by @artswaps

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27974807

Summary: After the coffin, she cuts her hair. Who is Alice Tonner? People are searching for her in the space she left behind, in the person she was. Daisy looks elsewhere, and tries not to choke.

just let the feeling grow by @ajkal2

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27838447

Summary: Jon is a musician. He plays songs for a living. Except love songs. He doesn't do love songs, and he makes this quite clear with anyone interested in working with him. Except his manager has booked him for a wedding. Without asking. With days before the festivities start, Jon needs help. Desperately. He won't get it from his hosts, the Lukas family. He certainly won't get it from his manager. However, there's a certain amateur poet on the Lukas' staff who has a talent for making love sound genuine.

World Cold and Hard, Moth Boy Warm and Soft by @lcjenkinswriting

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27827491

Summary: Jon, a young moth fairy, leaves the nest in search of a place that feels like home

tapes winding forward by @ghostbustermelanieking

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27858721

Summary: Martin ignores him, stops him mid-sentence to say, "Jon, what have you heard about time travel?" --- Martin and Jon wake up two years in the future. It goes about as well as can be expected.

MAG 26.5: Beach Episode by @ebenrosetaylor

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27882746

Summary: Sasha is aware of the rising tensions in the archives after Martin was stalked by Prentiss and after she had her own encounter with Michael. In an attempt to boost morale and bring them closer together, Tim suggests that they all visit the beach to unwind and get their minds off of all things paranormal. Sasha takes it upon herself to make sure that everyone has fun and relaxes, but she forgets to give herself that luxury.

Rewrite The Rulebook by @radiosandrecordings

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27823774

Summary: "Panic! Bloody panic! I've been out since I was fifteen and never once actually brought someone home. I think I just wanted to seem like I had my life together, y’know? Mainly I just... I think I just wanted someone to be there with me, so I wasn't just alone with her the entire time. A bit of comfort.” There was pause as Martin let out a dramatic sigh, seemingly relieved to ramble out his thoughts. "... I could go with you. If you want."

A Test In Patience by @talking4the1

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27917749

Summary: Elias is going about his day as the new head of the Magnus Institute in 1995. Some spreadsheets to do, meetings to attend mundane and supernatural. Nothing seems out of place until The Eye calls him to Bournemouth.

Of Mothers and Memory by @loverdontleave

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27856585

Summary:  There is a story to be told, of two people, a mother and a son. Of their history together, and the sacrifices they made for each other. Perhaps they loved each other once, but that thread of connection has weakened on one end, fraying away. And it is so, so cold.

Would That I Were Golden Dust by @that-one-girl-behind-you

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27734197

Summary: The world is a lot more dangerous with your soul walking by your side, and Entities aren’t shy about feeding on golden Dust.

Till Death, Parted by @bigowlenergy

Ao3 Link:https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27749680

Summary: Jon gets caught after ripping out Gerry’s page by Trevor & Julia, and through a comedy of errors ends up engaged as an excuse. Somehow, Jon gets out alive, Gerry is freed, and they have the two hunters accompanying them as bodyguards - and as best man and best woman - without a fight. Living alone in Gerry’s London safe house afterwards will be totally fine. Jon is fine. He knows what coping is and everything! Totally fine.

The Spoken Word by @drumkonwords

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802708/chapters/68066326

Summary: Jon wants. Their pinky twitches — stretching and curling to the tune of something musical. The song of wanting, with its motifs of long, low notes. Starting quiet and mumbling up into Jon’s chest until the strings of their heart vibrate like the strings of a double bass and all they can do is wonder who’s tune they’re matching. But they know.

First Aid by @platypik

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27948284

Summary: Jon is certain Martin has been acting strangely all morning. When Martin offhandedly mentions he took a bad tumble off the tube to work, Jon suddenly Knows that the fall had given Martin a nasty fracture. Despite his desperate pleading, Martin stubbornly refuses to let Jon drive him to the hospital. In fact, it seems he would much rather take care of it himself than have Jon worry and fuss over him. Jon would disagree.

Burning Bright, In the Forests of the Night by @triffidsandcuckoos

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27915400

Summary: The safehouse bursts into flames at their backs. You can choose to change the path. Just be ready for what else you might change.

i’ve been static for too long by @furryjefferson

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27887878

Summary: Jonathan Sims ends up with a stranger’s phone on the way home from work. All signs point to the Magnus Institute, and all roads lead to its mysterious archivist: Martin Blackwood.

through the clouds like a moonbeam by @digital-waterfall 

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tmabb20/works/27877402

Summary: After passing through the Vast’s domain, Jon is left with an unexpected surprise-- a pair of wings. Unsurprisingly, Martin finds them beautiful. Also unsurprisingly, Jon does not.

[senkou-lights]

A Harsh Realization (Closed RP)

Okay, so far... I still like Ponyville wa~ay more.

Traveling across Equestria had given Senkou many new experiences, with most of them seeming rather mundane and unimpressive to other ponies. These new experiences ranged from being as simple as sleeping in a building on the ground rather than in a cloud-home, to meeting exotic new creatures such as opinici and griffons. Heck, Senkou had even seen a dragon once! Granted, it was a baby dragon and he’d only seen it from afar, but it was still an impressive sight to see. Regardless of what others might think of the excitement of these simple experiences, everything had brought joy to the pegasus. New sights to see, new things to experience... He truly was young and naive to the outside world, but that just made everything much more fascinating!

Besides, he’s working on dashing the naivety that stuck with him all through foalhood. Traveling was one way of allowing himself to grow up.

Having been in Ponyville, and in Manehatten (holy fluff that city was huge!), Senkou had taken time from his relatively-new job to visit yet another city. A city that was considered a capitol of Equestria itself; Canterlot.

@ofinlustris

Smiling brightly and trotting energetically through the large, luxurious city, Senkou could come up with one strikingly important difference between Canterlot and Ponyville; It was must less... friendly. Ponies made less of an effort to smile, or stop to chat, and this might’ve unnerved Senkou... if he hadn’t already lived in Manehatten for quite some time. In times of doubt, the colt would simply reassure himself. It’s okay... Everypony is just busy. It doesn’t mean a thing. And, fortunately, this frame of mind helped the pegasus to contain his cheerful mood.

Having spent the majority of the day trotting around Canterlot, Senkou made an effort to visit several places... Usually just to discover how expensive everything was. A little bit like Manehatten, much of the attractions Canterlot could provide was a bit pricey. Restaurants charged a hefty amount for a ridiculously small portion of food, plays and performances were often twice the price (and many times were even booked up for a week or two...), and even local shopping districts seemed to be entirely focused on high-quality products which resulted in steeper prices. One thing that Senkou knew, however, was that the library was free. It had to be. Being a natural bookworm, visiting the Canterlot library would be as exciting as visiting a theme park.

After quite a bit of searching (He’d only gotten lost twice! Good start.), and some not-so-helpful directions provided reluctantly by a pair of unicorns, Senkou had located the library. Greeting the building with a large, relieved smile, the pegasus honestly felt like the library had smiled back at him, equally relieved to see that he’d found it.

Climbing up the pristine white steps leading to the library, Senkou would push the front doors open and be greeted by a huge room, stuffed with shelves of books upon books upon... more books. He’d pause only for a moment to breathe it all in, then trot right inside to peer around the shelves. Alright, where to begin first? The fiction section would certainly be calling him... though he did pause to take a gander at the other ponies inside. It was nice and quiet, perfect for reading, as several other ponies (mostly unicorns) were doing. Each sitting at their own tables with a book wide open, silently reading away.

[lilikags]

Promise | a Haikyuu oneshot series

Premise

Each of these oneshots below, which will be linked when I complete them, are based off of a line from Raon Lee’s “Promise”. These lines will be the prompt for each of these oneshots. As it is a song and it has a chorus, there will be repeat prompts for different characters. 

I will be adding a cut here, as there are quite a few lines and I would not like to clog up anyone’s dash. There is also additional info below.

Line Distribution

Sinking, falling into despair, a hand reached out and broke through my fears [Kita Shinsuke]

when I was lost, you found me, showed me kindness, set me free and still I remember- [Yaku Morisuke]

Now I can hear you When I close my eyes, I can feel your hand in mine [Akaashi Keiji]

Now I can hear you, I can find you [Semi Eita]

Finally I realize, For you I promise, I promise I'll never forget Every moment that we spent together [Shirabu Kenjirou]

Promise, I promise I'll hold my head high, Here together standing under the seventh sky [Oikawa Tooru]

When the end feels so far out of reach and the path is long and you want to retreat just know that I'm there with you together we will make it through the dark and we will rise up [Shirabu Kenjirou]

Now I can hear you When I close my eyes, I can feel your hand in mine [Iwaizumi Hajime]

Now I can hear you, I can find you, Finally I realize [Miya Atsumu]

For you I promise, I promise I'll never forget Every moment that we spent together [Kageyama Tobio]

Promise, I promise I'll hold my head high, Here together standing under the seventh sky [Yamaguchi Tadashi]

When we're sent back to the start and fear is rising in my heart I feel the strength you give me and I begin to shine [Shirabu Kenjirou]

Even in the dead of night just look toward that warm blue light. Follow your heart and I'll be waiting there, take my hand let's start again [Shirabu Kenjirou]

For you I promise, I promise I'll never forget Every moment that we spent together [Hinata Shoyo]

Promise, I promise I'll hold my head high [Nishinoya Yuu]

I'll be there I swear [Kozume Kenma]

(Promise, promise) That we spent together [Miya Osamu]

(promise, I promise) I'll hold my head high, Here together standing under the seventh sky [Kuroo Tetsurou]

Lyrics found on Reddit

Other Information

I will be opening up a taglist for this series, so please fill out this google form here! 

Reblogs > likes! <3

[punkcherries]

ok wait i have thoughts on wat the tracks of the train to nowhere album drawing i did would be like lemme ramble hold on under da cut i ont wanna clog no ones dashes or watever lmfao

all aboard  would probably be a short intro track that samples real old timey trains, bout a minute and a half long, before fading into the next track wormhole judgement line  would be like a very futuristic dated-yet-timeless synth track introducing the concept of the album which is an alien train where whole worlds are held in the cars and anything can happen, again using real train samples ring for service  would be a bit of a swerve as it introduces piano and is reminiscent of hotel lobby music, but with a somewhat cold and unnerving synth edge, to reflect the anxiety and confusion ryan and min felt waking up on an iceberg with a talking floating magic call bell lmfao outlaw  would be even MORE of a swerve cus it would just BUST in, no real fade from the last track in, just BOOM cowboy music, which fits the whiplash between going from weird alien iceberg eon car to COWBOYS BABY. lyrically its about being a wanted outlaw in a place uve never been before man’s best friend (the cat)  would transition from the last track into a jaunty piano tune like ud hear in a saloon, but with an odd french twist, probably with some accordion samples here and there. the music would also reflect the lyrics in giving off an air of mystique and poise and a tinge of potential danger execution  could very easily be seen as just outlaw (reprise) but its musically much darker and more frantic, and also shorter, somewhere around a cool 2 minutes, and itd feature a light humming buzz in the background that develops into crackling and finally loud shocking noises accompanied by a pained scream before..,,, silence little piggy  would be the strangest track by far, following the intensity of the last track with music box samples. itd start slow and melodic, but pick up speed and more instruments layered on top as it goes, and lyrically would have kind of a nursery rhyme vibe to it, very very unnerving and very very unlike anything else on the album saturnalia  would be more like the typical synth rock ud expect from a duo like ryan and min, very musically up beat and great dance music with a KILLER bass line and fuzz guitar, but lyrically would be..... kinda depressing, about being alone at a party and ykno basically what happened in the astro party car, ur friend ditched u lol. the song would have a fade out to prep for the next track bathroom interlude  would literally just be the song min and ryan played in the bathroom but like a minute long. no instruments other than guitar and mini synth crooked paintings  would bring back the piano and maybe accordion from earlier, eerie and cold and dark, juxtaposing the relatively warm vibe of the interlude before it. lyrically, itd be about the art gallery car of course but mostly focusing on themes of being alone but feeling like ur not. spooky!!! phantom hands  picks up the pace from the last song as the feeling of not being alone becomes fact, while crooked paintings toned back the guitar in favor of a dark brooding bass track, phantom hands would have more rough fuzzy guitar, almost drowning out other instruments, as kind of a highlight to the intensity and fear of what happened there is this your stop?  almost halts phantom hands in its tracks, bringing back the future-y synths to the forefront as the lyrics contemplate escaping the panic, although the music of phantom hands starts building up again in the background, and ultimately melds with the synths before the track fades out, being a swift minute and a half or so long locked out  while being a reference to ryan literally being locked out of the art gallery car would be more metaphorical lyrically, about the things both of them kept at arms distance from eachother, and have more acoustic instruments to it, which would transition quite smoothly into the next track mega maze  also a literal reference, but lyrically metaphorical about their relationship and how confusing navigating emotions can be. more synth is added in at this point but really only serves to make the song feel even more cold and dazed manhunt  picks the album’s plot back up and were back to literals here, as the electric guitar kicks in for a life-or-death chase track, its a race to the castle doors as suddenly musical themes from outlaw, little piggy, and ring for service come back into play, and by the end of this ~4 minute track comes in, organ samples are introduced adding a gothic tone which bleeds over into the next track 202  is where a lot of tension bubbles over, dark instrumentation and sharp lyrics about hope and despair and fear of being alone, very pre-emo emo if i do say so myself, using mostly electric guitar organ and bass. as the tension cools down, the synth starts to kick in, possibly sampling im gonna dress my dog in a toque, like a ray of sunshine coming in to warm up the track and fade into the next stuck with you  would be a sort of synth ballad, about reassurance and dedication and building something together and Its Totally Not Gay What No Way Were Best Friends Haha I Promise Mom. the guitar really starts to kick in in the second half before the end which does not transition into the next song but does end on the same note the next song starts on train to nowhere  would just be the song from the show but extended lol

overall the album would be a really kitschy concept album to the lay listener and a wild autobiography about being on the train to anyone In The Know and also very fucking gay i can imagine lgbt ppl in universe writing whole essays on the subtext and how Actually The Album Is An Allegory For Being Gay And Closeted And In Love In The 80s sjfhkdjg

[fuckyoupostplus]

IN SUMMARY,

The reasons that Tumblr should never, ever let post+ past the beta stage and rather should abandon it immediately:

It will get copyright owners like Disney to start sueing the hell out of Tumblr, if not, you. This is because Fanworks are only allowed as long as they are not being used for profit, and the moment you start trying to profit, companies are going to come down HARD. This may lead to potentiallyTumblr changing irreversibly into a different kind of website, as they’ll have to implement measured to search and prevent the posting of copyrighted materials, and you all know how faulty Tumblr is already, there’s no way that system would work well. Since Tumblr is basically built on fandom, this would def have a huge impact, esp on the gif community. This is why sites like AO3 have a big emphasis on not linking patterns or ko-fi, because the only thing protecting us is the fact that we’re not doing these things for profit.

It’s high-key highway robbery. Tumblr demands a 30% cut of your sub money on mobile... With the prices, from what I've seen, being as low as $3.99 a month, that’s a HUGE cut from an already low price. I can’t find the post with the exact numbers for the cut% anymore, if anyone has it, please do send me it.

can’t block blogs that subscribe to you Dude. There’d be no way to block people is they were harassing you. Why is that a thing

Tumblr is not secure, don’t give it your credit card info  as @tenya​ put it so very well, “don’t give this website your card credentials. it’s not secure. it’s proved time and time again that your information isn’t as safe as it claims to be, and if the neverending sunglasses plague is anything to go by, then it’s only a matter of time before more than just your blog gets taken from you.” 

High-key is against the spirit of Tumblr, and other websites do this better already, Tumblr trying to twist itself to fit that mould is a terrible idea. reblogging as the only means of spreading without the interference of an algorithm has always been what makes Tumblr special. But with these paywalled posts, If I were to reblog a post from a blog I'd susbscribed to, none of my followers would be able to see it and it would just clog up their dash with a big ‘LMAO SORRY GOTTA PAY TO SEE THIS’ sign. There’s websites that do this better, like patron, so why the hell is Tumblr trying to conform?

This change is moving Tumblr in a more corporate, profit-driven direction.  If Tumblr does this, it’s making the path to actual normal ads, algorithms and ‘verification systems’ and other staples of many social media sites that much easier to walk down. I’ve always seen Tumblr as unique and special in it’s approach, and was glad it never jumped on the trends all the other popular social media platforms are following, but yet here we are. I just think there’s a very high risk that this would be the first step on a path no user on this site wants: a shift from hellsite (positive) to hellsite (derogatory)

If you have any other points/would like to expand on these, feel free! I’m not ver eloquent myself and your input would be much appreciated.

[eredins-a-king-aint-he]

Hey, out of curiosity. What ships do you ship in The Witcher? I know about Gauntee/Geralt, Regis/Geralt and Eskel/Letho. (Also I was really excited when I saw you ship Gaunralt because I thought I was the only one shipping them 🙈)

You’ve nailed my main ones!! Most of my content has been for those three ships, though I’ve occasionally done some art or fics for others too

Tbh I’m a bit of a multi-shipping bastard with a love for rarepairs, so more often than not I’m excited to consider the dynamics of pairings that are so rare that they border on crack bc no one else is even remotely interested in them😂 I also just love to mash my favorite characters together in my head and see what happens

Putting my response under the cut so it doesn’t clog up my poor followers’ dashes lmao

So for rarepairs the top two are definitely Eskel/Letho and Gaunter/Geralt (both pairs that different friends got me into originally), but I also am curious about or interested in (in no particular order):

Letho/Lambert, they would be either a fantastically and oddly steady pair or the worst, most explosive chemistry experiment ever (I’ve read/found one fic for them and it was v interesting)

Geralt/Dijkstra, as Geralt seems to just be irresistibly drawn to people who could snap him over their knee in one way or another

Gaunter/Dijkstra, because I find the thought hilarious and their dynamic would lowkey be the meme “you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up” “you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid” which is one of my favorite ship dynamics, and you can throw Geralt in there between them for an added bonus (p sure I’m the only one who’s done anything for these two/three and it was just a few silly doodles)

Emhyr/Dijkstra, cause artwinsdraws (I don’t wanna @ them for this but that’s their tumblr) have been drawing them together and it seems like they could have the same meme dynamic which I adore

Eskel/Gaunter/Geralt, mostly bc I like crack aus and I think they would have a fun dynamic to explore

And at the moment Gaunter/anyone because I am just a wee bit ✨obsessed✨

For slightly more mainstream pairs aside from Geralt/Regis, I do also enjoy:

Eskel/Geralt, they’re very sweet and lovely together and I appreciate them a lot

Eskel/Lambert, they’ve got like a “one is calm and the other is fucking crazy and they balance each other out” vibe

Geralt/book!Dandelion, for the ride or die friendship/love they absolutely have in the books

Lambert/Aidan, I’ve never made content for them but I like the stuff I’ve seen

Ciri/Cerys, cause they’re awesome

Geralt/Emhyr, I’m a little less into this pairing but a mutual of mine really likes them and their fics have actually been getting me more and more interested👀

In general, I’m pretty curious about and open to most rarepairs (and honestly I’m usually down to hear about new ones, feel free to drop me thoughts in my inbox). My main criteria for ships is that they have good and interesting chemistry, and aren’t like extra sus bc of various reasons (don’t get me started Geralt/Triss, I don’t like them together one bit)

(And yeah obligatory comment: I absolutely do not ship Geralt/Netflix!Jaskier at all, or really anything with Netflix!Jaskier even if it could be considered a rarepair, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish that I don’t need to dump on you lmao)

Thanks for the ask!! There’s definitely certain characters that I’m less interested in generally so I might be less invested in pairings that include them but it’s still fun to talk about!! I could ramble about this all night tbh but I gotta go to bed now😂

[scribbleboxfox]

Some thoughts about the use of Unreal assets in the new season of Red vs. Blue.

This wound up being longer than I meant for it to be, so I’m putting it under a cut for courtesy bc I don’t wanna clog up anyone’s dash :’D

It’s just genuinely so funny to me that ppl are upset that they used Unreal assets for RvB:Zero. Like you’re going to call them lazy for using free stock assets in the middle of a pandemic? Okay. So I guess that means I’m lazy for licensing a photo from Adobe Stock for my company to use instead of filling out a request form for a professional camera, waiting for the next budget meeting to make my case about why I need it, learn how to use it, gather props, hire models, book a location for the shoot, gather costumes, learn how to use Lightroom, spend 4-6 hours shooting photos and directing the models, and edit the photos.

I’ve seen the argument that RvB has always stuck close to Halo as a reason for why the Unreal assets are bad. But this isn’t true. The closest RvB’s ever gotten to real Halo lore was with Project Freelancer*, and it barely scratched the surface. Yes they have references to it scattered throughout the show on occasion, but their whole arrangement with Microsoft makes it so that they can’t overlap too much.

Also, we’re really going to get mad about that, and not the really shitty snowmen in Season 12?

Those don’t look like Halo assets to me.

I just think it’s so silly. The argument that they should have only used assets from Halo is ridiculous because there’s plenty of times where they straight up haven’t done that. Like the knights in Season 16. Which were also free assets that they grabbed from somewhere.

3D models take time to make. You have to come up with an idea, make concept art for that idea, review the concept art and pick a direction to go in, sit down and make the 3D model (which can take hours and hours depending on what you’re making,) take down the poly count after creating a normal map so you don’t have a million faces that will slow down your render time, make sure the UV’s are all laid out properly so the model can be textured, pass it off to the people who texture the UV’s or do it yourself, test the textures to make sure the seams aren’t too visible on the model, do render tests to make sure the textures and normals and bump maps all look the way you want them to, and THEN you have to rig it yourself or pass it off to the coworker in charge of that sort of thing, apply constraints and controls, skinweight it, and apply physics (depending on the model.) And once you’re done with all of that, then you can give it to an animator to add it to a scene and animate it. And bear in mind that people have to do this while also keeping up with their meeting schedules, breaks, mealtimes, childcare, pet care, grocery runs, doctor’s appointments, etc.

I’m definitely missing a few steps/mis-naming a few things, but it’s been literally 3 years since I’ve created a full 3D asset from start to finish so...take it with a grain of salt.

The point is that creating one model is a lot of work. Top it off with the fact that we’re in a pandemic, and it gets even more strenuous. Things like ad-hoc design reviews may be harder to do because people might have their notifications for Slack/Teams/Discord/etc. off so they can get work done. And that can mean the difference between getting an asset finished in the middle of the day today, or waiting until early morning tomorrow when the rest of your team is online.

It’s much more cost-efficient to just buy/download pre-made assets. And frankly, in the middle of a pandemic, it’s a lot more ethical too.

I just wish that ppl would step back and ask themselves why they might be using Unreal assets for this season. Companies use stock assets all the time. Rooster Teeth is a company. I worry that people forget that sometimes.

Anyways, that’s just my two cents on it. As someone whose done the whole 3D animation process multiple times (albeit mostly for college,) it’s frustrating that people are making arguments against the use of stock assets without having an understanding of the amount of work that goes into making them yourself.

---

*The use of AI’s and the Huragok in Project Freelancer were two very direct references to canon Halo lore.

** Also worth noting that they DO use canon Halo guns in the first episode. I can’t speak for the other episodes because I haven’t seen them yet as of today (11/9/20) but I personally doubt they’re getting rid of them entirely.

Edit://

I mixed up Unity with Unreal. They’re Unreal Marketplace assets. Thanks @banditsheath​ for pointing that out.

[snowdice]

Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 31]

Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!

If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. Chapters 3-8 and what I have of Chapter 9 are under the cut.

My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.

Still feeling unmotivated. I’ve got to get this presentation done though.

Chapter 9

Khalid immediately called everyone back to base.

“What happened?” asked Fred when he and Lena arrived. The tech people were already scrambling to get through to the TPI and get the time lock broken from the outside.

“Remus, Remy, and Khalid got played by Pat or whatever his name is. It certainly isn’t Nick. He was just setting up a joke,” Janus told him.

“Stop being smug,” Remy said. “It’s not a good look for you.”

“Pat is…?” Lena asked.

“They guy who fucked me over in 1923,” Janus said, “and is currently in the middle of fucking us all over because he stole the pin timepiece, and by extrapolation, probably the time bomb too.”

 “It will be fine,” said Khalid, “because what he doesn’t know is that timepiece has a tracker on it. Wherever and whenever he went, we’ll have his coordinates.”

“Speaking of,” one of the techies said. “It’s about to break. You might want to hold onto something.” Janus grabbed for a support beam next to him as the techie put a device on the ground in the center of the base. It blinked once, twice, and on the third blink the ground rumbled. There were sounds of panicked yelps outside. The fail safe for the time lock was not nearly as gentle as ending it correctly.

 Everything settled after a few moments, and they all straightened themselves out. Janus’s timepiece buzzed to indicate it was now functioning normally. Khalid had returned her usual timepiece to her wrist and now used it to open a display they could all see. “The pin timepiece’s closest time/space coordinates are…” she trailed off. “Right outside?” She frowned. “That’s strange. Why would he still be here?” She turned to march outside, following the coordinates to a trash can. She pulled the pin timepiece out and stared at it. “Fuck,” she said.

“What just happened?” Remy asked.

“He ticked us,” Janus said. “Again.”

 “He was stuck in the time lock,” Khalid said. “That’s why he got our attention. He couldn’t leave with the time bomb unless he had the pin timepiece or we broke the time lock. Apparently, he’s smart enough to know that if he took the pin timepiece away from here, we’d probably be able to find him, but he knew we’d break the lock as soon as the pin went missing. So, he must have stashed his own timepiece and went back in time within the time lock to grab it while we were distracted with the past version of him. As soon as the time lock went down, I imagine he left.”

 “Probably with the time bomb,” Janus said.

“Probably with the time bomb,” she confirmed.

And everyone knew the only thing worse than a time bomb was a time bomb you didn’t know the location of.

They evacuated after that, of course, and time locked the location once they were out just in case they were wrong, but midnight 3000 struck without thousands of people dying in Brazil, so the time bomb had defiantly been removed from then.

The, they initiated a time travel lockdown for all nonessentials, not willing to let random history students get caught up in an explosion if Pat decided to set the thing off somewhere.

 Then, it was a matter of figuring out everything they could about ‘Pat.’ First, they checked the tracker data as Khalid had tagged him with one of the Millennium Bird trackers. It wouldn’t work outside of the zone they’d set up that day, but the record would show his behavior during the time lock after he’d escaped with the pin timepiece.

There had been many little green dots on the map that day as Fred and Lena had actually been doing the job they’d set out to do, but most of those were running around in the south. There had been one green dot, however, that appeared suddenly in the game area about 10 minutes before the time bomb had been stolen.

 They could see Janus’s yellow dot almost brush his when he’d been chasing the earlier Pat down, around when he’d lost him briefly. The earlier Pat must have all but handed it off to his future self.

“He doubled back,” Remus commented when they watched the recorded data. It was a ballsy move and one that most people balked at, because there were inherent dangers any time you interacted with yourself from a different point in the timestream. It was ripe for paradoxes. It made everyone at the agency even more worried, because if he was willing to risk that, then what else was he willing to do?

 Because of the lockdown of all nonessential time travel, people working for the TPI were not allowed to go home for the night. They were allowed to pick up anyone or anything dependent on them for care like kids and pets if there wasn’t someone in their home time to care for them, but other than that, they were unfortunately all sleeping in their offices for the foreseeable future.

“You are the only tolerable one,” Janus told the cat who upon being let loose in the office by Remus, immediately jumped on Janus’s lap.

“I have literally done nothing to you,” Lena said, but then added. “Yet.”

 “You exist. In my space.”

“Can’t we just all get along?” asked Fred. “It’s only been an hour past when we’d usually go home. I went and grabbed milk and I have my giant thing of different flavored hot chocolate under my desk. We can try them all and vote on which is better.”

“Fuck your hot chocolate, Fred,” Janus growled, having been one of the three who had chipped in to buy it for him on his last birthday.

“Don’t go after Fred, jackass,” Lena spat.

“He’s just testy because his boyfriend escaped,” Remus contributed.

Janus’s lips turned down into a frown and he cupped Diesel Fuel’s face. “We agree we’re eating him first, right?” he asked her.

 She purred her agreement.

“I’d have it no other way,” Remus replied.

“There is plenty of food,” Fred said, sounding stressed. “In fact, I was thinking we should all chip in on ordering take-out soon. “What does everyone like on pizza?”

“This is not a slumber party, Fred,” Janus pointed out.

“Shut it,” Lena snapped and turned to Fred. “I’m fine with almost everything, except…”

“Bananas and tuna salad!” Remus interrupted.

“…whatever Remus is about to say.”

Janus rolled his eyes as that started a debate about whether or not fruit and/or fish belonged on pizza. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, which was when there was a knock on the door.

 He froze when he heard the familiar voice. “Hello, hello,” said Emile, cheerfully. Janus looked up to see Emile standing at the open office door. Shit. Apparently, the man had decided to give up on sending lackeys to come fetch him and had decided to track him down himself when Janus couldn’t even escape without breaking a time lockdown. They met eyes briefly and Janus could see irritation if not anger in his eyes despite his otherwise cheerful expression and tone.

“Janus,” he said when he’d gotten their attention. “I’d like to have dinner with you.” The word choice told Janus everything he needed to know. Usually Emile was careful with how he said things to make sure people knew they had a choice. Typically he’d say something like, “I was wondering if you’d have time to have dinner with me tonight,” or “I’m about to go get food, would you like to come?” Today, there was no choice in the statement.

 Janus still dried to dodge anyway. “Uh,” he said. “We were actually about to order pizza.”

“Go ahead,” said Fred kindly. Janus wanted to strangle him. “We can order pizza with olives if you’re not here.”

“I…” said Janus. “Guess, I’ll be going with you.”

“Great!” Emile said. “Let’s go.”

“Oh,” Janus said. “Uh, now?”

“Now,” Emile said a bit of uncharacteristic steel to his tone.

 Well, Janus was screwed. He swallowed his nervousness and got to his feet, taking Diesel Fuel with him. He turned to hand her off to Remus with a plea in his eye, but he just got an eyebrow raise in return. Traitor.

Then, he followed Emile out of the office door. “What would you like to eat?” asked Emile.

“Uh,” Janus said. “I don’t know. You asked me to eat, don’t you have any ideas?”

“I don’t actually,” Emile replied. Right.

“…Noddle Bar?” Janus threw out the nearest restaurant he knew.

“The one noodle restaurant? Sure,” Emile answered simply. They walked side by side out of the front doors of the TPI building. Janus actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken these stairs. He usually used his timepiece to get in and out.

 The noodle bar was only moderately busy at this time. They were quickly able to find a table near the back and Emile pulled his menu up in front of him. Emile hummed as he flipped through the different displays. “What are you having?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Janus said, only then pulling up the menu himself, but still not quite looking at it.

“What about the fortune noodles,” Emile suggested.

Janus shook his head. “I don’t like those,” he said.

Emile glanced at him through the menu displays. “You used to.” Fortune noodles were a bit cheekily named. They didn’t actually indicate anything about your future. They were just supposed to taste like what you wanted from your future. A grad student might experience a feeling like they’d just aced a paper. A child that they got to stay up an hour later that night. Janus had liked the experience when he was younger, but in recent years, he’d begun to taste the underlying chemicals in the dish until that’s all he could.

 “Well,” Emile said lightly, eyes on his menu. “That makes me even more worried for your mental health than I already was because of the almost three years of you avoiding talking to me.”

“No small talk, huh?” Janus asked.

“Forgive me,” Emile said, eyes now focused on Janus, and tone much darker. “How has your life been since I last saw your face 5 months ago during a business meeting and you refused to look me in the eye? Anything interesting happen? Shave your head and let it all regrow? Develop an allergy to peanuts? Join a convent and take an oath of silence that you only just broke today?”

“No,” said Janus quietly into the table.

 “Great,” Emile said clipped. “Small talk over. Order your food.” Janus reached up blindly to select the first thing that came up on the food and drink menu as Emile punched something into his own and both menu displays disappeared, meaning there was nothing between their faces anymore. “You know, I was willing to give you a year,” Emile said. “I was willing to let you deal with it on your own because I thought eventually, you’d come talk to me about it, but apparently I was mistaken. The next year, I thought maybe you thought I didn’t want to talk to you, so I subtly made myself available, and you never took me up on the offer. I thought maybe I was just not being clear, and I should make my desire to talk to you more explicit, but as you have been routinely, clearly avoiding me at every single turn, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. So, let’s lay it all on the table. Is it me or do you need help?”

 Janus closed his eyes. “It’s not you.”

“Then you need help,” Emile concluded.

Janus shook his head.

“Yes,” Emile snapped. “Whatever this is has gone on far too long.”

Janus stood up and slammed his hand down on the table. “And it’s going to keep going on!” he said. The food popped up at that moment. It appeared Janus had ordered lasagna and bubble tea, and Emile had ordered something with spaghetti and a fizzy drink.

“So, you’re just planning to go on being miserable then?” Emile asked, and Janus wasn’t sure if it was worse or better that he didn’t sound angry anymore.

 Janus slapped his hand down on the “To Go” button and his dinner was insta-wrapped by the table. “Yes,” he said.

“What exactly do you think you’re paying penance for, Janus?” Emile asked.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Janus said, paying for both of their meals with his fingerprint.

“That’s a cop out and you know it,” Emile said. “All you’d have to do is talk to me. Or even just talk to someone else. Please.”

“Just…” Janus said, grabbing his bag of food to avoid looking at him. “Just, leave me be.” He walked out of the noodle shop without another word.

 Chapter 10

“And I thought Remus was going to be the most disgusting roommate in this equation,” Lena grumbled. Janus and Lena were apparently the earlier risers in the group as Fred was still curled up around a pillow and Remus was sprawled out under his desk.

Janus flipped her off.

“Protein infused Poptarts and caffeinated orange juice for breakfast?” she asked. “Just eat an energy bar and have a cup of coffee like a normal person.”

He took another pointed bite of his Poptart.

“You’re a horrible roommate. This is why they gave us different partners.”

“Yeah, well you snore, asshole,” Janus said after finishing off his meal.

 “I’d tell you to go eat shit, but you already did that once this morning.”

A pillow flew across the room and somehow managed to hit the both of them. “S’op fighting,” Fred mumbled. “It’s sleep time.”

“It’s morning Fred,” Lena said.

“No,” Fred mumbled.

Janus ignored them, turning back to his integration port to continue to keep plugging in phrases of interest, but he kept getting nothing.

“What are you doing?” Lena asked after a few moments of him huffing at his screen reader.

“Trying to do anything that may change our current living arrangements.”

She puffed out an amused breath. “Can I help?”

 “Can you see any connection between these words and phrases?” he asked, pulling away his screen reader and tapping at the words he’d typed out.

“Paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback, love Bug, BB good, Mandy, Macy Misa, I believe, cool, that’s just the way we roll, burnin’ up,” she said. “What are these?”

“They’re things Pat said when we interrogated that struck me funny,” Janus explained. “I feel like he was saying something more than what he said.”

“Hmm,” she said. “PTI for the first three?”

“Maybe,” Janus agreed, “but what about the rest of it? I feel like I’m missing something.”

15080

“Millennia,” Remus mumbled from under his desk. Janus hadn’t been aware he was awake. “He said something something about it being the only time he could see the change of the millennia.” He turned his head to look at Janus. “Considering he’s a time traveler, that’s definitely a weird thing to say.”

“Millennia,” Janus contemplated. “A different turn of the millennia. Oh no.”

“What?” Lena asked.

Janus sighed, and rubbed his temple. “I know someone who studied the 1700-2200s.”

“Isn’t that good?”

“No,” Janus groaned, “because now I have to go talk to him.” He stood with a sigh and then paused. “How do I even get to Silver Mountains University without my timepiece?”

 Luckily Sliver Mountains ended up only being about an hour away from the TPI by time adherent travel, but considering Janus was used to his travel being instantaneous, it was an aggravating trip. He had to show ID and be buzzed up to the fourth floor since it was usually locked to everyone not traveling by timepiece or who worked in the office.

The receptionist was the same man as before. “I’m here to speak to Professor Eran,” Janus said.

The receptionist nodded. “He mentioned you asked to meet him but didn’t know when you’d arrive. He’ll be done teaching his class in about 5 minutes. You can wait over there.”

 Janus nodded and sat, waiting for time to slowly tick by. Virgil arrived after a few minutes, lugging a giant bag with him. He caught sight of Janus and wordlessly jerked his head towards the hallway. Janus followed him.

“What’s in the bag?” Janus asked.

“Early 21st century cell phones,” Virgil said, dropping it on his desk. “I let my students mess around with them for their lab.”

“I see,” Janus said.

“What did you need?” Virgil asked. “You said it was official business.”

“You’ve heard about the lockdown, I presume,” Janus said.

“Yeah, it really screws up my research schedule for the summer,” Virgil said.

15412

“Do you know why the lockdown was instituted?” Janus asked. Virgil shook his head, so Janus explained briefly that they had been trying to find a timebomb on the eve of the year 3000, but it had been swiped by a free agent time traveler. “Some of the things seemed to be references to things that I couldn’t place, and I was wondering if you would recognize any.”

“Shoot,” Virgil requested, seeming intrigued by the prospect.

“Okay,” Janus said. “First, the alias he was using was Nick Jonas.” A weird expression crossed Virgil’s face immediately and Janus paused.

“You said the year 3000?” Virgil asked.

 “Er. Yes.”

“Nick Jonas. Year 3000,” Virgil repeated with a snort. “Were Joe and Kevin a part of this too?”

Janus blinked. “Yes, how did you know that?”

“Yo-you’re going to have,” his sentence was broken by a giggle, and actual full-fledged giggle, “have to give me a minute.” With that, he sort of listed to the side and seemed to purposefully fall off his chair onto the floor under his desk.

Janus blinked and when he didn’t surface after a moment, he stood up to lean over the desk and look down at him. Virgil had his arm thrown over his beat red face, as he shook from what Janus thought was suppressed laughter.

 “What?” Janus asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Just…” Virgil said, sobbing through his laughter. “Just tell me the things he said.”

“Er, mostly he just had weird inflections on words and phrases. There was ‘paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback…’”

“Wait, stop,” Virgil said. “Let me guess a few. That’s Just the Way We Roll, Burnin’ Up, Sucker.”

“The first two were, but not the last one.”

Virgil laughed. “Maybe the last one was just implied.”

Janus frowned down. “What are you talking about? What does this all mean?”

Virgil pulled himself out from under his desk and grabbed his bag of phones. He dug through it for a few seconds before pulling one out and handing it to Janus. “I have a lab for my students where they get preloaded phones from the early 21st century and are supposed to guess the demographics of the person who owns it. This one is an iPhone 3 meant to belong to a pre-teen to teenage girl from the year 2009. Look under music artists starting with the letter ‘J.’”

15810

Confused, Janus scrolled through the old style phone, finding the music app and opening it easily. Upon getting to the ‘J’s, he immediately paused on an artist called the ‘Jonas Brothers.’ He clicked on it and read a few of the song titles. They weren’t all there, but…

“That rat bastard,” Janus said.

“Scroll to the bottom,” Virgil said. Janus did and found a song titled ‘Year 3000.’

“You’re kidding me.”

“Click on it,” Virgil requested.

Janus did, listening to the fairly standard pop like intro from the time period. It wasn’t until he got to the lyrics saying, ‘He told me he built a time machine’ that he cursed, understanding exactly what Pat had been doing. When the singer a few lines latter proclaimed that his neighbor said ‘I’ve been to the year 3000’ he almost smashed the artifact to pieces right then and there.

“I have no idea who this guy is,” Virgil said, “but he’s a comedic genius.”

 Chapter 11

Khalid caught him on his way back into the TPI building. “I heard you went to Silver Mountains to follow up on a lead,” she said.

“Yeah, but it was garbage,” he seethed. “All I learned was ‘Pat’ knows early 2000s popular culture and likes to fuck with us.”

She hummed. “I’d still like a report about whatever you found. Who knows what we might end up getting from seemingly inconsequential data.”

“Sure,” he said.

“Anyway,” she continued. “I have a mission for you.”

“We’re on lockdown,” Janus pointed out with a frown.

“For nonessentials,” she said. “This is essential.”

 “What happened?” Janus asked.

“We picked up a small time distortion in France 2027. At the moment, it is small enough not to cause any disruptions, but it is slowly growing, and we don’t know what caused it. Usually we’d just send surveillance agents at this stage, but considering what’s going on, I think it would be best to send a field agent. And it would just be you, because we don’t want to send too many people out at once.”

“Is this related to the time bomb?” Janus asked.

“I’m not sure,” she said. “At the very least, it’s not it being set off as it was in 2999, but if it’s been altered for some other purpose…”

 “I’ll go,” Janus said.

“I’ll send over the mission directive to everyone who needs it. You’ll go in around 3 hours.”

He nodded. “I’ll be ready,” he agreed.

In less then 3 hours, he was dressed for 2027 France and in decontamination. “Well,” he said out loud when he was given the all clear sign, “I hope I don’t explode.” He selected the coordinates on the timepiece and the next moment he was in a small alleyway in the city of Montpellier, France in 2027.

It was a little bit warm, but not stifling even in the mid-afternoon and he could faintly smell the sea on the breeze.

 After a moment to get his bearings, Janus made his way out of the alleyway and onto a small street. The street was lined with restaurants and shops as people went about their daily lives. He carefully integrated himself into the crowd and began weaving his way through them. He needed to find the source of the distortion but doing a quick scan with his timepiece told him there wasn’t any sign of it yet. He’d have to wait for it to act up.

For now, he decided to get slightly away from people by heading towards the river. He found a park that had benches along water.

 As he walked towards the river, he noticed a man on the bench, angled slightly away from Janus and looking out at the water. He immediately recognized the man. “You!” he exclaimed.

Pat’s head shot around to look at him, and he gave a slight head tilt. Then, he smiled, amused. “You are not the person I’m here for,” he said.

“Well, I am now,” Janus snapped. “Where’s the time bomb?”

“Time bomb?” Pat asked, eyebrows drawing together, but amusement on his lips. “Oh sweetie, the time bomb happened a long time ago for me.”

“What?” Janus asked.

“Oh, you’re just a baby,” Pat laughed. “Don’t you get it yet? The two of us are out of sync timeline wise. You’ve been apparently running around with a much younger version of me, but all of that happened quite a while ago for me. Don’t worry though, it gets better.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The time bomb has been long deactivated. Here,” he reached into his pocket and tossed him something. Janus caught it on instinct. “Proof. Don’t worry, we took all of the dangerous bits out years ago from my perspective.” It was the core of a time bomb, the time bomb Pat had stolen if he was to be believed. “You can tell your people it’s safe to remove the lockdown.”

Janus curled his fingers around it. “I don’t get it.”

Something on Pat’s wrist beeped and he looked at it curiously before he stood from the bench, “and I don’t have time to explain it.”

Janus jerked forward to grab his wrist. “Don’t you dare.”

Pat reached up to pat his face. “Don’t worry honey, you’ll be seeing me later.” He twisted his wrist and a small electric current sparked between them. Janus jerked his hand away, and Pat smiled at him. “Or… earlier.” He winked, and then he was gone.

Janus cursed, but he didn’t have more than a moment to be angry because in the next second there was a yelp, and something landed on top of him. He was bowled over into a tangle of limbs and pained noises.

“Oh my god, we need to figure out the height thing,” a familiar voice groaned, just as Janus managed to pull himself away. Pat blinked up at him and his eyes narrowed. “You,” he hissed.

“…What?”

 Pat jumped to his feet, leaving Janus on the ground in front of him. “What are you doing here?” he spat, his tone much different then the one he’d been using a moment earlier. His hair was longer than it had been before, and if Janus looked closely, he did seem like he was a couple of years younger suddenly. Out of sync timelines. I’ll see you earlier. Holy shit.

He was suddenly very glad he’d been forced to let the other Pat (the older Pat?) go, else they’d have a whole thing on their hands.

“What are you doing here?” was Janus’s retort as he stood up and dusted himself off.

 “It’s none of your business,” Pat told him.

“It is my business,” Janus said, “because for all I know, you are the cause of the time distortions I’m after. Considering that I doubt you have a license for that,” he waved at the odd looking timepiece of Pat’s wrist, “it’s very possible.”

“What are you?” Pat asked, “the time police.”

“Yes.”

Pat dared to roll his eyes, but then he tilted his head slightly. “Time distortions?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s why I’m here.”

He still had a confused frown on his face. Did… did he not know what a time distortion was?

 Just then there was a sudden flash of lightening through the sky despite the absolutely lack of clouds. He and Pat both looked up.

“Is that the time distortion?” Pat asked.

“It’s probably the beginning of it,” Janus said.

“That doesn’t look good,” Pat said as he squinted at the sky.

“Just wait,” Janus answered grimly. He looked at Pat. “Usually I’d arrest you on the spot,” he said, “but I’m alone for this one, and that is far more important at the moment. So, have a nice day doing whatever bullshit you are doing.” He glanced at his timepiece.

 Janus turned to walk away from him.

“Wait!” Pat exclaimed, and Janus turned back to him to see that his eyes were wide. Janus raised an eyebrow. “So, this time distortion thing is dangerous, right?”

“Depending on the severity, it could cause time to fracture around this place and time, basically erasing it from existence and killing everyone in it.”

“Well, in that case, I should go with you. To help.”

Janus looked him up and down. “You… have no idea what’s happening, do you? You’re an amateur.”

“I’m not,” he claimed. “I just. Pooling resources. You know?”

Janus sighed. “Well, you going around mucking about this time period without knowing what you’re doing could just exasperate the situation, so fine, you can tag along.”

“I know what I’m doing,” he grumbled even as he rushed to Janus’s side at the permission.

“Sure,” Janus said with an eyeroll. He guessed he was a babysitter now. “I believe you.”

 Chapter 12

There was something off about his readings. Clearly the time distortion was starting to pull at this place with the way the weather was flickering between storming and sunny, but he still couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact location of the source of it. He could, however, get that it must be somewhere on this side of the river more into the downtown area, so that’s the way he was walking, Pat close on his heels.

“What’s your name, by the way?” he asked.

Janus shot him a glare. “Elvis Presley,” he said.

Pat frowned, clearly knowing who that was. “There’s no reason to be mean.”

 “You did it to me first.”

“…Introduced myself as a famous musician?” he asked. Janus didn’t respond, and after a moment, Pat laughed lightly. “You really don’t understand time travel, do you?”

“Oh, yeah,” Janus said. “Name the three types of time distortions.”

“Just because I don’t know the names of things doesn’t mean I don’t understand them.” He stuck out his tongue. Janus was dealing with an actual toddler. “Unlike you who has a bunch of fancy words, but just caused a time loop.”

Janus scoffed. “I did not just cause a time loop.”

“Maybe not a big one,” Pat agreed, “but you did.”

 Janus raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never introduced myself to you with a musician’s name, but now you’ve told me that I will. So, at some point in the future I will have to, thereby making you think to say that now. Time loop.”

“That’s not… that doesn’t count.”

“Does too,” Pat claimed. “Like I have said once before and you may or may not have heard me say before, anything you do to me to get back at me for something I haven’t done yet, just causes whatever that is to happen in the first place.”

“But you’re still going to do it.”

 “Then take it up with future me. I haven’t done anything to you.” Then he paused and sighed. “…Which I guess means you’ve done nothing to me.” He seemed to mull this concept over for a long moment. “Well you were a bit crabby about me not knowing what a time distortion was, but I can forgive you for that.”

“And I’m supposed to forgive you?”

“Like I said,” Pat said. “I haven’t done anything yet.”

“You also haven’t done anything to endear yourself to me either,” Janus grumbled.

“Hmm,” Pat said. “Fine.” He pulled something out of his pocket. “You’re obviously not having much luck finding whatever you’re looking for. Tell me what it is and I’ll help.”

Janus squinted at what was in his hand. “Is that… an iPhone 5?”

“No!” he said. “It’s super-secret time travel tech disguised as an iPhone 5!”

“We’re in 2027,” Janus said. “Not a great disguise. Those things have been obsolete for a decade.”

“Well I’ll keep in mind to have my tech disguised as phones from the right year next time,” Pat said, sticking out his tongue. “Now what are we looking for?”

“If my timepiece can’t find it, I’m certain yours can’t.”

 Pat rolled his eyes and tapped on the device’s screen a couple of times. “I’m going to guess it’s that,” he said proudly.

Janus leaned over to look at the screen. “Are you using google maps?” he sputtered.

“It integrates time relevant data like traffic conditions and local weather warnings with time travel technology,” Pat explained. “Something seems to be going on in a museum a couple of blocks that way.”

“I…” Janus said. That was actually a really good idea, usually unnecessary with scouts observing that data beforehand, and Janus wasn’t sure how good the accuracy would be considering whatever was taking it into account was automated, but still a good idea. “Well, I guess since we have no other leads, we can check it out.”

 Pat looked far too proud for having only used a piece of tech that hadn’t even been confirmed as accurate. “Then, let’s go,” he said right as a chilly wind started to pick up and a couple of snowflakes began to fall around them. “Before that gets worse…”

Janus let Pat lead with his iPhone. Janus’s timepiece still wasn’t picking up a clear signal for some reason, but it seemed to point in the same general direction as Pat’s. Strangely though, as they got closer to their destination, the signal started to get fuzzier. Pat’s tech seemed unaffected leading them closer to the museum.

 When they got to the Musée Fabre museum, Janus stopped. “What?” Pat asked. He was shivering slightly in the cold and holding his arms around himself.

“My timepiece stopped working completely,” he said.

“I’m assuming that’s weird?” Pat said.

“It is,” Janus confirmed, turning to squint at him suspiciously. “How do I know you’re not the one doing it?”

“If I was doing it, wouldn’t I have just knocked it out from the get go?” Pat questioned.

Janus pursed his lips. “I don’t know,” he said. “Would you have? Maybe it’s a trick.”

Pat’s eyes narrowed a bit on him. “Think what you want, but I’m freezing. Come in with me if you want.”

 He dithered from a few moments before following Pat inside. Pat had already struck up a conversation with the woman charging admission into art museum. She was looking at him, her brow knit as he spoke. Janus nudged him away from her getting a confused glance from him in return. He shot a smile at the woman.

“Two adult passes for the museum and the Hotel Sabatier d’Espevran, please,” he said, placing down 14 euro.

“Ah,” she said, still looking at Pat oddly. “Yes sir.” She gave them the passes and Janus quickly shuffled Pat away.

“What is wrong with your French?” he hissed once they were out of earshot.

 “What?” he asked, bewildered.

“You sound like you’re reading Le Comte de Monte-Cristo. No one talks like that anymore.”

“I’m a little rusty,” Pat defended himself.

“Two centuries?” Janus asked. Pat stuck his tongue out like a child once again. “Is that your only way to respond to legitimate criticism?”

“What does it even matter anyway? No one ever expects time travel, at least not for something so silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Janus said. “It’s a legitimate issue. The wrong person who’s watched too much science fiction notices and you’re putting the timeline at risk. Not to mention if there are other time travelers around that aren’t as nice as me.”

 “Are there a lot of time travelers around?” Pat asked, sounding intrigued.

“There are plenty, both legal and not.”

“Huh,” he said, “but what are the chances we’ll run into another one?”

“Considering the time distortion? There could be many. Opportunists wanting to capitalize off the chaos, people trying to stop it, like me, and not to mention the person who caused it.”

“Wait, someone made it happen?” Pat asked.

“These things don’t just happen naturally.”

“Huh. So, something like this has to be caused by a person?”

“Yes,” Janus said. “…Why?”

Pat smiled. “No reason. I think we should head upstairs. Whatever I’m picking up says it’s around here, but I don’t see anything. Maybe it’s a floor or two above us.”

“Which is why it’s ridiculous to use Google Maps.”

 “Would you rather use yours?” he asked sweetly.

“I’m still not convinced it’s not your doing,” Janus growled. “Why does your tech still work when mine doesn’t?”

“Probably the same reason the ring did,” he muttered.

“What?”

“What?”

“You may be the most aggravating being in the universe.”

Pat glanced at him with a bit of a smirk. “I can’t tell you,” he said. “It would be a much bigger risk to the timeline than me speaking in French from the 1830s. But, I’m pretty sure the reason mine still works is just a software difference.”

“What the hell do you mean a software difference?”

 Pat opened his mouth, doubtlessly to supply him with yet another frustratingly cheeky and unhelpful answer. Yet, Pat did not have a chance to do so as, just as Janus stepped onto the second floor of the museum, the ground started to violently shake. Janus tried to turn to catch Pat as the other man’s foot slipped on the last step, but he couldn’t do so in time. Pat fell onto his hands and knees, sliding back a few steps and smacking his face into the stairs hard once and then a couple of times more after that as he slid.

 Chapter 13

The room stopped shaking after a moment. “Ow,” Pat said. He seemed a bit stunned but was still moving at least. He carefully maneuvered himself into a seating position. “Ouch. Owie.” He reached up to poke his own nose. “Ow!” Janus slapped his hand away when he got there. A bit of blood was already trickling from his nose and there was a small cut over his eye, but it wasn’t bleeding too much.

Janus pushed him so he was leaning slightly forward and produced a pack of time appropriate tissues from his pocket. He pulled one out of the package and offered it to him.

 He took it and pressed it up against his nose to try to stop the bleeding. He seemed mostly alright though Janus imagined he’d have plenty of bruises down the line. The power in the museum flickered and Janus looked up. Now that he was listening, he could hear people panicking in and out of the museum.

“We should probably get off of the stairs,” he suggested.

“Yeah,” Pat agreed. Janus helped him to his feet, and they climbed back up the steps. Janus looked around and found an employees only sign a few feet away. Usually he’d not risk that as it could get him into trouble he didn’t want to be in, but considering the earthquake that had just happened, he could probably play it off as panic.

 He ushered Pat into a small room and found a chair and table. He had Pat sit in the chair and pulled out another one of the tissues to dab at the blood coming from the cut over his eyes. “Here,” he said. “Hold that there. I’m going to go see if there are any bandages about.”

Pat took the tissue with the hand not already holding one to his nose. “Thanks,” he said.

Janus nodded and got to his feet. The lights flickered once again but didn’t stay off for now. He didn’t know how long that would last.

 He couldn’t see anything that might hold bandages in this room, but there was a second door. “I’ll be right back,” he told Pat, exiting through it.

The lights flickered once more as the door closed behind him and he cursed. When they came back up Janus’s eyes immediately fell on a man. They both froze.

“Remus!” Janus hissed the second their eyes met. “What are you doing here?”

Remus blinked at him for a moment. “Hi. Janus,” he said. “I… come to France for… tea sometimes?”

“There isn’t any tea back here.”

“So, there isn’t…” he said. There was a moment of silence. “Uh, so I actually cannot talk to you right now.”

 “What do you mean?” Janus asked. Remus grimaced in a way Janus had never seen from him before. It immediately set off alarm bells in Janus’s head. “Oh my god,” Janus said. “Oh my god. You’re not from the same time as me.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Remus mumbled.

“Holy shit, you’re looping?!”

“It’s… not looping if I wasn’t here the first time.”

“Remus, we spend more than 12 hours a day together most of the time. The only thing worse than this is if I looped back to this time myself.”

“…Yeah. Anyway, I need to leave now.”

“Please do.”

 He turned to go, but then stopped. “Oh, and,” he reached into his pocket and tossed something at Janus. Janus caught it.

It was Band-Aids.

“Oh, shit,” Janus spat at the clear use of foreknowledge. “I hate this. I hate you. I’m going to kill you the next time you see me.”

“Sure, Jan.”

“Go.”

He did, slipping into the next room while Janus took a deep breath and then turned back to the door behind him. He schooled his face before Pat looked up. “I found some Band-Aids.”

Pat nodded and Janus came over to squat next to him.

 Janus opened the box and Pat looked down. His eyes lit up with sudden joy so intense that Janus felt like he’d just gotten a punch to the gut. “Kitty Band-Aids!” he exclaimed. Janus bothered to actually look at the design on the container, only to note the cartoon cats on the front. Pat was almost vibrating off his seat. “Look they’re all so cute!” He grabbed the container from him to inspect the different designs printed on the back with glee even as a bit of blood was still trickling from his nose.

Janus took the box back gently and guided the wad of bloody Kleenexes back to his nose.

 “Which would you like?” Janus asked.

“Oh, they are all so cute,” Pat cooed. “Um, how about that one!” he pointed. “Or that one! Or that one!”

“Pat you only have one cut.”

“But they’re all so cute!” Pat said, tongue tucking into his cheek. He contemplated the box again. “Let’s do the black one,” he finally settled on.

Janus selected one of the Band-Aids with a black cat wrapped around a pink ball of yarn and staring back at them with wide green eyes. The think looked like it had partaken in one two many doses of catnip, but Janus didn’t mention that.

 Instead, he just carefully unstuck the backing from the Band-Aid and motioned for Pat to remove the tissue from his forehead. He smiled at Janus as he drew back.

Janus cleared his throat. “How’s the nose.”

“It’s slowing down,” Pat replied. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Janus replied. They met eyes for a second before Pat looked away back at the box of Band-Aids.

“Oh,” Pat said. “There’s a grey one. I didn’t notice.” He pointed to it. “I should have used that one.”

“Do you like grey cats?” Janus asked.

“I like all kitties,” he said, “but one of my roommates loves grey cats. He had one when he was a kid and thinks of them as good omens. Seeing one always brightens up his day.”

“A friend of mine has a grey cat,” Janus said. “She’s much more tolerable than him.”

Pat laughed a bit. “Don’t be mean,” he said.

“Oh, he deserves it, don’t worry.” Janus considered him for a moment. “Here,” he said, pulling out one of the Band-Aids with the grey cat on it. It did, actually, look a lot like Diesel Fuel.

“But I don’t…”

Janus just shrugged and stuck it on his cheek where there was no wound. Pat giggled and touched it with a finger. Janus stood back up.

“Can I have another tissue?” Pat asked.

“Sure.” Janus handed a tissue over to him and he crumpled up the bloody ones in his hand.

“I think I’m good to keep going,” Pat said, putting the new tissue under his nose. “The nose will stop soon.”

 Pat got out his iPhone and directed him back out of the room. They checked the second floor and didn’t find anything and so went to the third floor. The second they arrived in the room that Pat’s phone was directing them too, Janus knew that it must be right. There was a strange, distorted whirling sound and the entire room was shaking slightly like they were standing next to a railroad track.

“I’m guessing this is it,” Pat said.

Janus nodded and looked over his shoulder at the screen. They both cautiously walked towards where the little dot was on the phone.

 “Is that it?” Pat asked, pointing at a small device on the center column in the room. Janus reached forward to flip the switch on it. The whirling stopped and the room settled. Janus’s time piece vibrated as it came back online. They waited for a few moments. “I assumed… time distortions would be more…”

“They are,” Janus said. “This one is artificial.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s a simulation,” Janus said. “It causes similar symptoms to a time distortion, but it’s not actually fracturing time at all.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Pat asked.

“I don’t know,” Janus said. He took the piece of tech of the wall and carefully stored it in his pocket, “but someone’s trying to get our attention.”

 Chapter 14

Janus didn’t feel comfortable leaving France 2027 just yet, still weirded out by the strange turn of events. So, he and Pat ended up sticking around for a couple of hours. They looked through the art museum for a bit, but Janus was having trouble focusing on the pieces, and Pat eventually suggested they get some air. Janus agreed considering the museum would close for the night soon anyway.

They wandered around the downtown for a bit. The people seemed to jump back from the strange weather and earthquake that afternoon rather quickly, and there were plenty still about to blend into.

 Pat was snapping photos every so often like a tourist which Janus shook his head at but allowed because even with the outdated phone it almost made them blend in even more. It also might stop any questions about Pat’s weird way of speaking French. They could just say he was an overeager tourist who watched too many old movies.

“Ooo!” Pat said. “We should get crepes.”

“Why?”

“You can’t go to France and not eat crepes.”

“I assure you, you can,” Janus said dryly.

Pat shot a pout at him and the next thing he knew he was in a small crepe shop.

 For Janus, choosing something was easy. He just ordered the first thing he found on the menu which seemed to be a standard one with ham and eggs. Pat on the other hand seemed to be struggling greatly, and Janus had to gently push him to the side to let some other customers order first.

“What should I get!?” Pat asked. “They all look so good! I could do strawberry preserves or maple syrup or just sugar!”

“Or you could get one that is actually food,” Janus suggested mildly. “I don’t think you need any more sugar judging by how you are acting.”

Pat rolled his eyes. “You sound like Lo.”

 Janus made a note of the name ‘Lo’ even though it surely was a nickname.

“But, since you’re insisting, I’ll get something healthy. I’ll have the strawberry one. That’s a fruit!”

“It comes with a cream cheese filling,” Janus pointed out.

“And it’s fruit!”

Janus shook his head and stepped up to the counter. “One ham and cheese and one strawberry preserve, please,” he said to the cashier as he was not allowing Pat to order in French and accidently say something stupid. He forked over some euros.

“You don’t have to pay for me,” Pat protested when he saw that.

Janus glanced back at him. “I was afraid you’d try to pay in francs,” he said dryly.

 It looked like Pat was about to stick his tongue out at him, remembered that Janus had criticized him for that earlier, and then just scrunched up his face in displeasure as though that was any less childish.

They waited for their crepes to be finished and then went to eat them outside near a water fountain.

“I can pay you back for the crepe,” Pat said after they sat down. “I do actually have euros.”

Janus waved him off. “It wasn’t that expensive.”

Pat hummed. “Well, in that case. I insist on paying for a wish for you.” Janus raised an eyebrow. “In the fountain!” Pat clarified.

 Pat set aside his crepe to dig in his pocket for a couple of coins. “Here!” he said handing one over.

Janus glanced over at the fountain. “No.”

“Oh, come on,” Pat beseeched. “You have to want something. I’ll even throw it in for you, but you have to make a wish first!”

“No.”

“Please!”

Janus sighed. “Fine.” He popped the rest of his crepe in his mouth. “I wish for a crepe,” he said after swallowing.

“You just had a crepe, silly.”

“But I liked it, so I want another one.”

“We can go back and get you another crepe.”

“Ah, but I’m not hungry anymore.”

Pat crossed his arms. “You’re just being difficult on purpose.”

 “Not me,” Janus said putting hand over his heart. “I would never do something like that.”

 Pat glared at him, but then snatched the coin out of his hand. “Fine!” he said. “One crepe wish coming right up.” He hopped up with the two coins and darted over to the water fountain. Janus turned to watch him go but then happened to catch sight of something out of the corner of his eyes.

Pat’s phone.

He didn’t pause in his movement, completing the turn, but as he watched Pat close his eyes, presumably to focus on his own wish, Janus snuck a hand out and grabbed the phone without looking. He slipped it into his own pocket.

 Pat came back over after throwing both coins in the fountain and didn’t even seem to notice that his phone was missing, picking up his crepe to take another bite. Just to make sure, though Janus decided to distract him. “What do you think of your crepe?” Janus asked.

“I like it! It’s sweet, but not too sweet. There was a crepe place across the street from my apartment in college, but they always put a bit too much sugar in the dough, I think. I’d still eat them, but these are much better.”

Janus nodded and kept up the light conversation until Pat was finished.

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“Well,” he said then, getting to his feet. “It seems that nothing else is going to happen regarding the time distortion. I should be getting back.”

Pat hummed. “I should too. It’s movie night!”

“I probably should arrest you,” Janus noted.

“In the middle of all of these people?” Pat asked mildly.

“Touché,” Janus said.

Pat gasped and pointed at him. “Pun!” he said. Janus blinked at him. “Because we’re in France! That’s French!”

“…Goodbye Pat,” Janus said, turning to walk away from him.

“Goodbye… wait I still don’t know your name!”

Janus stopped to look back at him for a moment. “Like I said,” he replied. “Elvis.”

“Fine,” Pat said. “Au revoir, mon chéri.”

“You never stop, do you?” Janus asked.

Pat giggled. “Considering I don’t know what you mean, I imagine I’m just getting started.”

Janus actually left then, walking off towards the alley he’d first arrived in. In some ways, the mission had been a bust, but in others it had gone very well.

He felt for the weight of the phone in his pocket before pulling up the display screen on his timepiece to go back to the TPI.

It had gone very well indeed.

 Chapter 15

The first thing Janus had done when he’d returned to the TPI was hand over the timebomb to Khalid who sent it to forensics. Within the hour, forensics got back to them that it was the same timebomb as 2999 and that it had never exploded, but simply been diffused. Which meant, blessings on blessings, everyone got to go home that night.

 Not that Janus went home, no, he ended up falling asleep on his desk somewhere between 3 and 4am, but at least he wasn’t sharing his space with anyone. He’d been trying to hack the cell phone all night to see if it had anything he could use, but he honestly had no idea what he was doing. All it seemed he could do was play some annoying song over and over again about never giving someone up. At around 2am, he’d finally broken and sent off an email, though, he’d continued to try to mess with it after that.

 He got woken up by Lena coming into the office at 7am, and noticed he already had an email response asking when Janus wanted to come in.

“Now?” he sent back.

“…Do you sleep?” was the immediate response. “And yes.”

His wrist buzzed as an appointment in 5 seconds downloaded to his timepiece. He selected the coordinates and landed at Cultural Outreach. The receptionist blinked up at him and then back down at the screen on his desk. “Oh!” he said. “I didn’t see this appointment. I think Professor Eran is in his office.”

He didn’t stand to escort Janus this time, so Janus went ahead and went down the hall to Virgil’s office himself.

 He knocked on the door and while he was waiting for Virgil to open it, the infernal contraption once again started to play the same stupid song.

“I didn’t even touch you!” he spat, getting it out and tapping on the screen.

“Jonas Brothers dude again?” Virgil asked causally upon opening the door.

Janus shoved it at him. “Make it stop.”

Virgil took it and fiddled with it for a few moments before it stopped with the song. “Oh my gosh,” he said scrolling through something on the screen.

“What.”

“What maniac sets a custom alarm for every 30-60 minutes for a week that just plays ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’? Oh, and one ‘It’s Not Unusual’ on Saturday. He’s mixing memes at an alarming rate.”

 “Can you. Just. Make it not happen. Anymore?”

Virgil smirked at him. “Maybe.” He turned around to go back into his office.

“Virgil,” Janus growled following him in.

Virgil just laughed. “What do you want to know about it?” he asked. “Just a fair warning… the song means he… likely was aware someone would steal it.”

“Of course, he was,” Janus groaned.

“But I’m sure we can still get something out of it.” Virgil started tapping at the screen again. “Okay, let’s see. It’s an iPhone 5, and someone jailbroke it.”

“What does that mean?”

“Tampered with it so they could install non-company approved software,” Virgil explained.

“Well I figured that since he was using Google Maps to track time distortions,” Janus grumbled.

 “I think I have something,” Virgil said to himself while digging through his desk. “Ah ha!” He held up some sort of cord. “This will let me hook it up to my integrator.” He slotted the cord into the bottom of the iPhone and then crawled under his desk to fiddle around with some other things. “There we go,” Virgil said popping back up. “It might take a few minutes. Running the program any faster might overheat the phone.”

Janus nodded and sat back to wait. Virgil grabbed the phone and started to play around with it a bit even as it uploaded all of its information to his computer.

“Weird,” Virgil said after a moment.

“What?” Janus asked, sitting up straighter.

“There are exactly two contacts. Fewer than I’d anticipate for a regular phone from the 2010s. More than I would expect from one clearly not being used as a phone.

 Virgil glanced to the side, and it must have finished the download because he unhooked it from the computer. “I have a 21st century phone network adapter,” Virgil said. “It transfers call back to whatever date the phone says. Do you want to try calling one?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Janus replied.

Virgil dug back into his desk for a small device that he plugged into the same port he’d plugged the earlier cord. “Okay, which contact do you want to try first?” he asked. “One has ‘Ro’ with a crown, red heart, and a gold star emoji. The other has “Lo” with a book, blue heart, and Milky Way emoji.”

 “He mentioned a Lo,” Janus said. “So, try him first.”

Virgil nodded. “I’ll put it on speaker.” He pressed some buttons before setting the phone on the desk between them.

The phone rang three times before with a bit of a crackle, it was answered. “Salutations,” a voice said, voice sounding a bit scratchy as though he had only just gotten up.

Virgil motioned with his head for Janus to speak. “Are you ‘Lo’?” he asked.

The man hummed. “To some people.”

Janus… didn’t quite know what to say to that, or even what questions he should ask.

“I’m assuming you’re the man that stole my associate’s phone.”

 “Your associate?” Janus fished.

The man made an amused hum. “I believe you were calling him ‘Pat’ on your last adventure.” Janus could hear something being placed down on the other end of the phone. Before Janus could respond, he heard what sounded like an old keyboard being typed on. “Now,” Lo said. “I have to admit, I am surprised you were willing to oblige me so thoroughly by plugging the phone into your system. Let’s see…”

The screen on Virgil’s lit up bright blue all of a sudden. “…shit,” said Virgil.

“Well,” Lo said, “it seems you were clever enough not to plug it into the TPI system, which is disappointing, but…”

 There was more clicking on the other end. “Hmm, interesting music tastes for the 4000s,” he said.

“I’m an anthropologist,” Virgil spoke up.

“Ah, yes, I can see that,” Lo replied. “Virgil Eran, senior professor at Silver Mountain University, a vetted member of the Cultural Outreach program, and searched the phrase ‘How to eat sushi without making a cultural blunder and making everyone hate you and losing your job because what kind of shit anthropologist doesn’t know how to eat raw fish right’ which you then shortened to ‘How to eat sushi’ and proceeded to search 52 times in the last 48 hours.”

 Virgil went a bit scarlet around the ears. “Dude, did you really have to out me like that?” he hissed at the phone.

“My apologies,” Lo responded. “From my personal experience, don’t dip the rice parts in soy sauce, and don’t add too much wasabi. Overall, most people will be understanding of mistakes, and you will certainly not be fired or ostracized for handling food incorrectly. As long as you are not acting intentionally disrespectful, and I image you will not be considering your clear anxiety over whatever outing you are planning to attend, you will be fine.”

“Okay,” Virgil said. “Good point, but counterpoint, what if you’re wrong and everyone hates me forever?”

 “Is it the lunch meeting today at 11:30am?” Lo asked, “because I can see that a Professor Boris Laden has attended the event multiple years in a row. Considering he is a philosophy instructor, has no Japanese heritage that I can see, and I have found a photo of last year’s event wherein he has placed his chopsticks vertically in his rice, and he has yet to be fired or ostracized, I would postulate that your fears are unfounded.”

“Yeah but… okay, I really don’t have an argument for that one, except maybe I’m a piece of shit and everyone is looking for a reason to hate me.”

“Considering your many impressive accolades in your field, I would argue that ‘a piece of shit’ is not a good descriptor of you. Not to mention the fact that you are often a highly requested member for different committees in your department and outside of it.”

“Oh, but is that because people like me or because I’m an anxious mess and make sure events go off without a hitch?”

“From experience, disorder with people you enjoy the company of is far more tolerable than order with people you do not. Which explains my current living situation and the lack of finished dishes in my sink. Therefore, I would assume the former.”

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“A lot of assumptions,” Virgil commented, but he was smiling slightly.

“Assumptions based on data,” Lo argued back lightly.

“You really came in here, hacked into my computer and smacked my anxiety in the face, huh?”

“Glad to have helped.”

“Y-”

“Are the two of you finished?” Janus interrupted, finally getting sick of the two of them.

“Not nearly,” Lo said. “I have gained access to an entire network of a very large university and will be sorting through the data for a long time.”

“Ugh, right,” Virgil groaned, “and you got access through my integrator.”

“I doubt they’ll be able to trace it back to you if you don’t tell them.”

“Nice try,” Virgil said dryly, “but not likely. I’m telling them about you immediately so they can work to kick you out.”

Lo laughed. “Fair enough, but I’ve already gotten plenty of information at this point. Including the fact that you work with the TPI and scheduled an appointment with an Agent Janus Picani this morning set to start a few minutes before this phone call. So, hello Janus.”

“Bastard,” Janus shot back.

“And goodbye Professor Eran. It was a pleasure.” He hung up.

Virgil sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “This is going to be fun to explain to both of our bosses.”

  Arc II What We Do to Each Other

Chapter 16:

As it would turn out, Janus and Virgil did not get in trouble for hooking up the old phone to Virgil’s integrator, mostly because it wasn’t really a mistake on their part. The phone cleared all virus checks that the tech people both from the university and the TPI ran on it. The phone should have been clean and should not have caused an issue.

In fact, they were still trying to pin down the code on the general university server. They could tell that something was mucking about on the system but what or how was a mystery. This also meant that there was no telling what information had been compromised and considering how many things Silver Mountain had its hands in, that was… a bit worrying.

 Another worrying thing was there was suddenly more activity of late at the TPI. There were more time distortions popping up every day. Usually they would be few and far in between. There had been 3 total recorded the year before, but over 12 in the last week. Some of them were fake like the one Janus had investigated, but some of them were real. It painted a distressing picture and also was a drain on their resources. Khalid was actually looking to advertise positions to hire new recruits which was something she rarely did as she liked to keep appointments to the TPI in house.

 They’d even loosed the number of field agents needed for each mission and Janus and Remus had been splitting up just to get everything done. Today, he and Remus had thankfully only two missions scheduled for the day.

“Are we going together or separate today?” Janus asked Remus.

“Think they’ll burn me at the stake for being a witch if I go alone to either of them?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. Probably. I think we’re getting a bit late into the 1700s for that in Cuba, but I have no idea about Mesopotamia.”

“Let’s just go together. I did not like almost drowning yesterday because I was the only stranger in town when the weather was going wonky.”

“Surely it isn’t because you opened your mouth. Ever.” Janus said dryly.

“How was I supposed to know he was the local clergyman’s son?”

 Janus rolled his eyes. “On second thought,” he said, pushing a button on his desk to choose Cuba as he next mission, and standing up. “I don’t want you coming with me.” Yet, he did not protest when Remus also signed up for the Cuba mission and he waited for him by the office door before going to talk to Rhi.

Rhi was a bit frazzled when which meant quite a bit as she was usually incredibly put together. Remus didn’t even seem inclined to tease her today.

“Okay,” she said once they’d closed the door behind them. She flipped through some documents on her desk. “Picani and Clockson. Camaguey Cuba 1755. Do you know Cuba?”

 “Uh,” Janus said. “Yeah?”

“Like you’re reading the things, right? I don’t have to babysit you, right? You got it? The Seven Year War was happening, but it won’t affect you much as it hasn’t really hit Cuba. It’s the middle of the Camaguey Carnival. Everyone will be everywhere and there will be chaos so as long as you don’t really fuck up you should be fine. Um…apparent races.” She looked up at them and studied them each for a moment as thought looking at them for the first time despite having known them for years. “It’ll work. Go to costuming.”

“Shouldn’t we…” Janus said, “sign things?”

 “…Yep,” she said, fiddling with her desktop and then sending documents over to their side to sign.

Janus and Remus both did before sending them back.

“Great. Good.” She stood and grabbed some things from behind her. “You can go.” She sat back down as they took their things and Janus noticed a message pop up on her desk. She looked up at Remus looking exhausted. “What?” she asked.

“Just open it,” Remus said.

Rhi tapped it and a photo opened.

“I got her a new mouse toy!” Remus said happily as Rhi looked at the picture of Diesel Fuel attacking a cloth mouse.

“That is… appreciated Agent Clockson,” Rhi said. “Now get out.”

 They did, leaving to get their costumes on and checked. Costuming was just as busy and frazzled as Rhi had been and they actually had to wait for decon because there’d been a mix up with the agents leaving before them. They landed in Cuba without issue. Janus could already hear the festival in full swing outside the small building they’d were in. Remy was standing there with a very not time appropriate mug of coffee.

“Sue me,” Remy said when Janus raised an eyebrow at it. “Please just… get in and out without causing trouble. Seriously. I don’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else.”

 “We’ll do our best,” Janus assured.

Remy pulled his sunglasses down to look at him. He looked exhausted. “God please do more than your best.”

Janus nodded tightly. “We’ll be in and out,” he said, already glancing at his timepiece. It had been disguised as a golden bracelet which made it a bit harder to actually use, but wrist watches wouldn’t be invented for more than a century, so they’d have to make do. “The time distortion, if that’s what it is, should be in the middle of town. Let’s go.”

He and Remus exited the building onto the packed city street.

 Janus was immediately bombarded with all types of sights, sounds, and smells. There were many colorful articles of clothing and costumes as people went every which way along the street talking to other members of their community, playing instruments, and dancing. There was the sound of people speaking Spanish, still mostly almost pure Castilian Spanish with perhaps a bit of influence from Taino as the Haitian revolution had yet to push the Creole language over to Cuba. People must have been hard at work cooking different dishes for the carnival as many different spices wafted through the air. It was sticky hot considering it was the middle of June in the tropics and Janus was immediately sweating despite the temperature appropriate clothing he’d been outfitted with.

 He glanced around their immediate area, just scoping out the crowds. His eyes were immediately drawn to one person near them.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said out loud when he saw Pat. Remus looked in the direction Janus was.

Even if Janus didn’t recognize him the moment he laid eyes on him, he probably still would have ended up staring as he was the only person in the area who clearly did not know how to do the dance he was attempting.

Remus snorted and Janus shook his head in secondhand embarrassment. “Well, would you look whose boyfriend’s here,” he said to Janus. Make that firsthand embarrassment. “Has anyone told him the Mambo wasn’t invented until the 1900s and also that’s not how you do it?”

 Chapter 17

Pat stopped dancing the moment he saw Janus approaching him, but he still bobbed cheerfully ( and unrhythmically) to the music. “Hi Janus,” he said pleasantly.

“You just have to rub it in, huh?”

There was a flash of confusion across his face, but then he smiled. “Well, I know where in our relationship you are. How was France?”

“You’re a bastard.”

“You stole the phone,” he laughed.

“You stole the bomb,” Janus countered, “and you wanted me to steal the phone. You booby trapped it.”

“No,” Pat correct, putting a finger up. “We have security on my phone because in high school I once forgot it in the school locker room and long story short, the three of us ended up in a lake. So, then Lo made sure I always had some sort of tracker on it. When I started time traveling, he updated it and when I met you we updated it again in case there was ever an opportunity like that. Lo calls it using our weaknesses to our advantage.”

 “He’s a bastard too,” Janus growled.

Pat just laughed.

“Is someone talking about me?” Remus asked, stepping over to them. Janus rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” Patton said, blinking at Janus’s partner for a moment. “Remus.” He hesitated slightly. “How are you doing?”

“Me?” Remus asked. “Uh, I’m doing good. A little stressed out with work, but fine.”

“Good,” Pat said with just a little too much heartfulness to it.

“What?” Janus asked, eyes narrowed at Pat. “What is that?”

“What is what?” Pat asked. He met Janus’s eyes briefly and it made panic surge up Janus’s spine because the look Pat was sending him wasn’t one that said he was playing dumb. It was a warning.

 Oh, Janus did not like this. That look told Janus Pat had some foreknowledge that he absolutely could not tell Janus about without messing up the timeline spectacularly. This was why this mess the two of them were mixed up in was so bad, but it seemed Janus did not have much of a choice when it came to Pat.

Despite how bad of an idea he knew it was, he still wanted to push, because whatever Pat was hiding could be very, very bad and it had to do with Remus. There were so many reasons Pat could be acting like that around Remus, but the worst ones were definitely the ones on his mind. Death, injury, illness. They were all possible especially in their line of work and especially with how time was being screwed with right now. And Pat knew. He knew exactly what the answer was, and oh did Janus want to push.

Experience knowing what worse things could come out of having foreknowledge made Janus bite his tongue.

 “So, what are you two doing here,” Pat asked, and Janus unhappily let him change the subject.

“Oh, like you don’t know,” Janus replied.

“I don’t know,” Pat said innocently.

“There’s another time distortion,” Janus said, “and while you didn’t know what it was the last time I saw you, I’m pretty sure you do now.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was a time distortion here. I can help you if you like,” he offered sweetly.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if I could find the Flying Dutchman,” Patton told him.

“And so you went to Camaguey?”

“Uh huh.”

“One of the farthest places from the ocean in Cuba?”

 “Is it?”

“I don’t trust you.”

Pat just shrugged. “Well, if you don’t want my help finding the time distortion, I’ll just be on my way then.”

“Wait,” he said when Pat went to turn away. Pat paused. Janus turned to Remus. “Remus, do you think he’s bullshitting me so I let him wander off and do whatever the hell he’s doing, or do you think he’s bullshitting me into letting him come with us.”

“Hmm,” Remus said, looking Pat up and down. Janus could immediately tell he wasn’t going to get any helpful answer. “Well, if we’re going with the how much do I get to see his, admittedly very sexy, ass criteria.” Janus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Letting him leave now means instant gratification and a nice full image when he turns away. However, letting him go with us means many more opportunities to get a glimpse, but they’d probably just be glimpses. So, yeah that’s a tough call.”

“You didn’t even bother to give me an actual hidden suggestion with that bullshit,” Janus groaned. He glanced at Pat only to see him hiding his very red face in his hands. Janus blinked. “Oh,” he said. “You got him, Remus.” Janus was surprised. He’d expected a bit more tenacity for someone with Pat’s personality. Of course, Janus was used to Remus, so that perhaps had some effect. Pat made a muffled distressed sound behind his hands and Janus raised an eyebrow. “You really got him.”

Pat flapped one hand around while still using the other to completely hide his face. “It’s just. His face. Saying that. Is weird.”

 Janus could not say that he didn’t feel a slight spark of joy at seeing Pat flustered. After all, Pat’s weapon of choice had often been flirting with Janus in the past. However, he still smacked Remus on the shoulder when it looked like he was about to continue with something likely far more inappropriate. “We are here for a reason,” he reminded. He turned to consider Pat and squinted at him. “You’re coming with us, I’ve decided. I don’t want to let you out of my sights. Don’t,” he said empathically turning to Remus as the man opened his mouth once more.

 Pat had mostly recovered, though his cheeks were just a bit pink still. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Where do we start?”

Janus glanced at his timepiece. “It’s not showing up on our trackers yet.”

“It messed with your tracker last time,” Pat pointed out.

“I know,” Janus said. “Which means it could be another fake one or whatever is causing it hasn’t started yet. If things start going wrong, but it still doesn’t show on our radar, it’s almost certainly a fake one, but some of the fake ones haven’t blocked our technology.”

“Here, I can check,” Pat said.

“Please don’t pull out an iPhone,” Janus begged.

 Pat stuck out his tongue at him, and then smiled. He reached for the bracelet on his wrist and twisted it back and forth a few times before pressing his palms together. He glanced around them quickly to make sure no one around them was watching and then peeled apart his palms like he was miming reading a book.

“What the fuck is that, and how do I get one?” Remus asked immediately. It was innocuous, whatever it was. If someone from this time caught a glimpse of the display, they’d likely assume it was a trick of the light, but staring right at it, Janus could tell it was a map of the surrounding areas with a softly glowing blue light marking their current location. Janus could see no screen or origin of a hologram. It looked like the image was drawn onto the man’s palms, but as he watched, the image shifted to zoom out.