#i actually think people should be allowed to be annoyed and angry over a bad episode or a bad season on their own blogs

[fiona-fififi]

...

[ms-demeanor]

Hi! You’re in the LA area, right? I hope you and your family are okay.

Unrelatedly, I ran across a thread on Mastodon about Proton Mail, which I think you’ve talked about before, and was curious what you make of it / how credible it is: https://code4lib.social/@inthehands@hachyderm.io/113838748729664639

I'm fine thanks! Worried about some friends but I'm good.

I think that thread is not incorrect, but is also bullshit.

Email protocols do not allow for 100% anonymous communication and never will, when Proton was subpoenaed for user data that ended up with some French climate activists getting prosecuted they were transparent about what was requested and updated their logging rules to store less data. *Starting* from the assumption that protonmail is supposed to be totally secure OR sells itself as totally secure is disingenuous.

The great thing about open source software is that you never have to trust a shithead CEO when they talk about what the software does. I get why people are angry at the CEO (I think the CEO is at least half wrong in that he is claiming that Republicans will challenge monopolies, but he's not wrong about the destructive corporatism of the Democratic party even if he is *in essence* wrong about which party is more likely to gesture in the direction of breaking up tech monopolies) but A) the thread says that proton's software is "opaque" and it just. Literally is not. and B) that thread links to another thread talking about how what proton is selling is trust and nope. They don't have to sell trust; you can see what their software does if you choose to investigate it, there's no need for trust when you can verify. What they're selling is transparency and from where i'm standing they are indeed quite transparent.

God. Imagine thinking that a zero trust service is selling trust.

So I think the argument that "protonmail actually isn't as secure as it claims" is bullshit that people bring up whenever they're mad at the company (whether they have legitimate reasons to be mad at the company or not).

For the record: you should never, ever, EVER treat email as a secret. Nothing you do over email is really secret because *the rules that allow email to function as a service* require at least some very sensitive information to be an open part of the protocol.

The Proton page on end to end encryption is *very* clear that it is the contents of your email messages that are encrypted, not your email as a whole, and in the image they use to illustrate this the parts of your email that *cannot* be made private (sender, recipient, subject line, time sent) are shown unencrypted:

They're not subtle about letting people know this. Nor are they quiet about the fact that replies to encrypted emails are not encrypted by default.

So the thread is *technically* correct in that all the security "holes" described reflect reality, but it's correct like saying "McDonald's says that you can eat their food for every meal and you'll put on ten pounds of muscle but ACTUALLY putting on ten pounds of muscle requires a huge amount of dedication and a very careful diet and a lot of resistance exercise" - like, I guess yeah that's what you have to do to put on ten pounds of muscle but where exactly was McDonald's making that claim? Did they actually make that claim or are general statements like "I'm Lovin' It" being misinterpreted in bad faith by people on the internet who are mad at something a CEO did?

So. Like. Yeah the CEO is being a shithead, the social media team made a pretty bad fuckup by doubling down on his shitheadery, the product still works as described, AND the thread discussing all of that is deeply annoying.

So.

I think this thread actually does a great job of explaining why I've never seen a "hackers for social justice" group that has lasted. This reminds me a LOT of when someone tried to say that you shouldn't use firefox because the former CEO was a homophobe. There are a lot of deeply shitty people who have made important contributions to our tech ecosystem and if we threw the baby out with the bathwater every time Notch from Minecraft ended up being Notch from minecraft you'd lock yourself out of a lot of really important tools. And this isn't the same as "buying harry potter merch funds transphobia" because it literally doesn't; especially with open source tools you can continue using the software and cheerfully hate the CEO because A) fuck that guy and B) what the fuck are you going to do about it, guy, this shit's encrypted.

I don't want to get too deeply into a discussion about what is or is not cancel culture, but what I'm seeing in that thread (and what I see coming up every time someone brings up the "But the French Climate Activists!" thing) is an attempt to prioritize political alignment over real-world utility. It's attempting to cancel a *genuinely useful tool* because someone involved in the development is an asshole.

By all means, don't give protonmail money if the CEO's trump-positive comments make you feel unsafe.

However: What service are you going to use that is as accessible and as secure to ensure that you actually *are* safe? There are alternatives out there. Do they actually do more than proton? Are they easier to use? Are they open source? One of the responses to that thread was "yeah, that dude seems shitty; i'd switch to another service if there was another one that I felt was as secure" and that's pretty much what I think the correct attitude is. (If you really, really still want to switch, Tuta has been the broadly recommended alternative to protonmail for years but at this point Proton has a suite of services that some users would need to replace, not just email)

IDK i think shit like this contributes to a lot of the bad kind of security nihilism where people are like "oh no, things will never be secure and even my scrappy little open source product is headed by an asshole, i may as well use google because everything sucks" when they should have the good kind of nihilism which is like "man, there are a lot of assholes out there and they're never going to stop being assholes; i'd better take proactive steps to act like the people who make tech stuff are assholes and operate from a better base of security at the start"

so the takeaways are:

Proton never claimed that anything but the message contents of your e2e encrypted messages are encrypted; as far as these things go, they do a pretty good job of being both secure and easy to use compared to other offerings.

Yeah the CEO is being kind of a shithead and I'm not a huge fan of that.

If you think the CEO is being a shithead and don't want to give the company your money, don't pay for their services, but the CEO being a shithead doesn't actually mean you can't trust their services; their services are literally built on zero trust, if the CEO literally wanted to hunt you down personally he wouldn't be any more able to decrypt your emails than he was before and he wouldn't be any more likely to respond to a subpoena than he was before (proton does respond to subpoenas when required but not otherwise; they've been compelled to produce more data in the last decade than before because law enforcement finally realized who they needed to yell at - one of the bigger issues here is the Swiss courts being more willing to grant subpoenas to international complainants than they were before)

The reason we don't go see hogwarts movies is because doing so gives JK money and that does actual real world harm; using firefox does not have an impact on Brendan Eich's ability to materially change the world. It is very weird that we're in a place where we're treating *open source encryption software that is simple enough for your grandma to use it* as though it is Orson Scott Card.

Sorry i'm still stuck on people thinking that proton, famously open source, is opaque, and that an encryption service with zero trust architecture is selling trust.

Anyway if you've ever got questions about security/privacy/whatever services privacyguides.org is a very reliable source.

OH I FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS BUGGING ME

There are a bunch of people discussing this talking about how the CEO's social media is what has made them feel unsafe and I'm going to be a dick here and say that facts don't care about your feelings.

The CEO saying stupid shit doesn't actually make you unsafe in a situation like this; if the CEO was a violent transphobe or aggressive racist or horribly misogynist that wouldn't actually make any of the users of the product less safe. That's why the SJ hacker stuff I've seen hasn't had much staying power; I think that groups that focus on making people feel included and welcome and safe to be themself within the group run into really big problems when there's a conflict between people in the group FEELING unsafe because of (genuinely important in many ways) cultural signifiers like political alignment and so in order to accommodate that feeling they end up doing things (like some kinds of collaboration/accountability practices, abandoning useful tools, WAY too much personal transparency and radical vulnerability for people who are doing crime shit) that ACTUALLY make them less safe.

The CEO being a shithead may make you feel bad, but moving to a less secure platform may actually be dangerous. One of these things can have a big impact on your life, and it is not the one that is happening on twitter.

Anyway. Email is inherently insecure and if you want a secure messaging tool use Signal.

If you are doing crime shit don't talk about it on the internet and DEFINITELY don't talk about it in any kind of unencrypted platform.

If you are a French climate activist who would like to not get arrested if Tuta gets a subpoena for data, use the email service in concert with tor and be cautious about senders/receivers and subject lines.

[lastofthewardens]

i know hearing the same interview responses over and over is getting annoying, so i don't blame anyone for being upset about hearing it another time because it's discouraging.

but i just wanted to give an alternate take on that answer about foggy that i think is a little unique because of my position.

for context, i personally don't think foggy is coming back. my nuanced feeling is that i'm like 90/10 on the issue because i said i'd stop letting myself get baited if vanessa explicitly wanted foggy dead, and i drew my line in the sand there.

so my interpretation of a lot of different things coming from this team is usually pretty uncharitable and i honestly feel like many things being said are rooted in baiting angry fans into watching s2 hoping he'll be back.

but if you're a foggy is alive truther or just someone who isn't being as cynical about this as me, i don't think this answer today is really anything to worry about.

charlie's been saying this exact same quote about foggy's death for months. i've noticed a pattern almost every time where he seems to talk genuinely about foggy and then segues into what is clearly a coached answer that he's "allowed" to say. because when he talks about his own personal feelings, it changes and varies, and he's made it clear multiple times through words and emotion that he doesn't agree with the decision, sometimes much more openly than i ever would've expected an actor to do.

then after, when he segues into what i believe to be coached PR answers, these quotes about 'starting off with a bang' and 'no one feeling safe' are all worded and phrased exactly the same. i think these are things he's told to say. i remember there was even one interview where someone else cut in because he kept talking about how much they were losing out on by not having foggy, and they interrupted him to be like 'but also we get lots of new stuff!' lmao.

i think if we're going to take anything away from this, it should be the fact that charlie notably said some fans are rightfully angry, and this was before he segued into those PR answers.

if you're like me, that's pretty validating in my opinion. he's made it as clear as he can without getting in trouble that he doesn't agree with the decision, and he's now telling the fans they're valid for being upset. i don't really think he could say more than that even if he wanted to, and he's said more validating things than anyone else involved besides elden. it also means that they're seeing the fans' anger, which surprised me considering how much people try to shout down disappointed fans. they're seeing it, we know for sure now, and this is why it's so important you guys keep talking and keep asking for foggy.

and if you're a foggy is alive truther, this is actually even a good thing. because it's clear to me that nobody is allowed to talk about foggy for whatever reason. even elden hasn't really been able to talk about it much beyond that he felt bad for fans and that he's grateful for the love and that he loves foggy. my take is that the people who make these decisions about what they can and can't talk about are baiting to make angry fans watch s2, and maybe also hoping the less they talk about it the backlash will go away, but in a world where the 10% of the 90/10 comes to pass, it could just as easily be that they can't 'spoil it' like they claimed in that one interview.

but yeah, i mean. this is a nothing answer really. it didn't make me feel better or worse. it just sort of made me feel a little annoyed that they won't talk about it further.

but most importantly, everyone telling you you're not valid for being upset or angry is wrong, and you can point them to charlie's answer next time they try to shout you down.

[meteor752]

Some silly Odyhermes ideas:

While I see Ody as bottom with Zeus or Poseidon, I think he'd definitely be a switch with Hermes 👀

Odysseus doesn't know that Hermes is his great grandfather, Hermes thinks that Ody actually knows, so he doesn't say anything. Ody realizes the truth only when Hermes tells him a funny story about Autolycus, his demigod, shapeshifting son, and Ody is like "what? that was my grandfather??". Hermes is just confused for a minute.

Hermes is really possessive, despite his silly guy persona. His blood (ichor?) boils when Calypso throws herself at Ody. He gets angry seeing the rivarly between Poseidon and Odysseus, whether it's shippy or not. And he gets annoyed, when Ody talks about Penelope, or spends time with her. He tries to somewhat tolerate her, but he does poor job at it.

Ody doesn't believe in Hermes' story, about baby Hermes making a lyre out of a turtle, and killing the immortal cattle of Apollo. That is, until Hermes "jokingly" wants to show Ody how he did it. He drops it seeing Ody getting flashbacks about Eury killing the cattle. He may be a little shit, but he still cares for Ody, and doesn't want to see him distressed 🥺

Ody usually can't see Hermes' eyes (typical hc in this fandom lol). When he does, it's either when Hermes gets really serious about some topic, or when Hermes is acting like a silly guy in love, making him lose his helmet, when his guard is down. Ody thinks his (probably inhuman) eyes are pretty, but he won't say that.

Hermes, despite everything, is a really sweet boyfriend. Whenever Ody tells Athena about Hermes, she gets snnoyed. Hermes would talk about how cute and smart Ody is, when he's with Hades or Persephone, doing his job.

I thinks that's all of these? I just really like this rarepair 👉👈

How did I become the person people come to for Odyhermes things. Like I don’t mind but like still huh

(Also, I wanna make it clear that while I do love Odyhermes, I love it in like a slightly unhealthy context, with a clear power imbalance and a very obsessive Hermes. That shit’s my jam people)

I once saw someone say that Hermes has the vibe of either a mean dom or a bratty sub, and like I couldn’t agree more, and I say both. He’d probably enjoy it a lot when Ody takes control (even tho he’s being a menace about it), but he also likes putting his mortal in his place

Poor Ody would probably have a bit of a crisis and possibly be a bit weirded out over the fact that Hermes is related to him, and like poor silly guy just has no idea why because his family is basically just incest, he has no idea that it’s seen as bad for mortals. (Ody has even more of a crisis when he realises he’s fucking related to both the Cyclops and Poseidon)

Dude I liiiiiiiive for possessive Hermes (case that wasn’t clear lol). Especially him being extremely jealous at basically every god who interacts with his mortal. He’s more fine with it when it’s other mortals, since he sees the majority of them as “lesser”, but Penelope does get on his nerves occasionally.

Hermes does not understand the concept of PTSD, or why sometimes when he does certain things or mention certain people his mortal gets all distressed and upset, but he does try and correct himself when he can. Maybe he should ask Dionysus about that

I imagine the first time Ody saw Hermes eyes it was by like, complete accident, like they were both a lil drunk and Hermes accidentally knocked into a low hanging branch of a tree, and his lil helmet just flew off, and the messenger god was to busy giggling to even notice. Despite their haunting emptiness (I have always headcanoned Hermes eyes to be just the sclera, which is why he tends to hide them, he thinks they look boring), Ody finds them strangely beautiful. So if Hermes allows his helmet to come off a little more often when with his mortal, or if he “accidentally” forgets to put it on sometimes, well neither of them comment on it.

Oh Hermes will just never shut up about Odysseus. The messenger god is a gossip and a chatter box, so he usually fills the silence in some way, no matter who he’s with, though it’s usually discussions about the happenings on mount Olympus. The moment he met Ody tho, he was all that mattered to him. When he wasn’t watching his mortal, he was chattering about him to anyone who would listen, which is for the most part not a lot of people, as one can only stand Hermes for so long. But even his usual conversation partners, Apollo, Hestia, Thanatos, Iris, Dionysus, grew kinda tired of hearing about this one mortal and his escapades. Wing boy don’t care tho, he will hover after his targets, chittering away, until they either attack him or try to rip their own ears off. That won’t stop him though.

Odyhermes shippers, feel very free to rant to me about the ship. This is a safe space and I love having you here, even tho I’m confused. We’re scarce but we’re strong!

[rainbow-femme]

Rewatching the animated Beauty and the Beast

-Right off the bat the thing in the opening that gets me is not the possible age implication but the fact that this prince is opening his own doors and to people he’s not expecting. You’re lucky it was just an enchantress looking to test the purity of your heart and not an assassin. Just power posing with the door fully open, no guards, going “Oh hey it’s someone I don’t know! I’m going to have a conversation with them alone” before god and everybody. Of course you got cursed, your guards should have rugby tackled her before she could get her wand out

-I never liked Maurice as a kid and I still don’t. Like he’s not bad he’s just annoying to me every time he’s on screen. The wind blows and he’s dying on the side of a cliff somewhere

-It is never not funny to me that Belle promises to stay in the castle forever and then just leaves three hours later

-I love Gaston having his whole “I’m going to get Belle’s father locked up so she marries me” scheme and then she’s fully just not remotely near the town. He’s living in a high stakes drama and she’s clapping along to dancing tea cups

-Hey when Maurice goes to look for Belle he grabs a bunch of rolled up pieces of paper and protractor. Is the idea that he’s just gonna invent and build something while actively walking? Sir you spent 6 hours in a dungeon and nearly died of being in a dungeon disease, you can’t help yourself out of a wet paper bag much less get your daughter out of anywhere with an invention you made out of rocks and sticks while clawing your way through the woods because you’re dying again

-But it is funny to imagine this revolving door of Maurice and Belle trading themselves for the other until the beast is just like “hey if I let you both leave will you promise to never come back”

-Belle is such a dick at the beginning it’s so funny. “Oh there’s one place in this giant castle I can’t go? I bet he’s hiding all the really cool stuff in there and I’m going to ignore his wishes and that of the staff. Oh no, consequences, the guy who said not to come here is upset I came here! Who could have foreseen this!”

-Like it’s not bad writing, it’s her character arc that she was mainly focused on herself and her interests and pretty judgemental of people who weren’t like her, so her disrespecting someone’s boundaries because she want to sets up something she grows from, and she learns to connect with someone else on their level even if that person is different from her and she learns that people are more than their surface appearance and even an angry beast has depths if you actually get to know them and see their view of the world, and connecting with people who are different from you enriches your life. Which is why when the townsfolk later try to kill the beast because he’s different we see she’s now understood the danger of that way of thinking and is horrified

-But that’s such a funny thing to do just immediately upon entering a castle owned by a big scary beast. Day one hour one she’s like “oh boy I know where I wanna go!”

-I don’t want to be a CinemaSins and point out how improbable it is that Belle got a giant unconscious beast onto her horse when he would be hundreds of pounds. But I do want to see the scene of her doing it. I’m picturing the horse sorta laying down and the beast is on the ground like a sack of potatoes and Belle has her back against him and is pushing with her legs to try and roll him over. Or she’s got her shoulder against him and is trying to push that way but her feet keep slipping in the snow

-Oh my god I forgot they told her about the library before the beast “gives” it to her. She was already allowed to go in there and knew it existed, “giving” someone a room they had full knowledge of and access to is very funny

-But you know what if he’s the kind of guy who thinks that will work and she’s the kind of girl it works on then they’re perfect for each other. Just two people with zero social skills bumbling around a castle together, making weird decisions and the other is like “wow they’re so cute and normal”

-I love the sweeping faux crane shot during the ballroom dance. Over 30 years later and that shit still slaps, more animated movies need to act like they’re being shot and edited like live action

-Maurice really can find a way to immediately die in any situation. When he’s at home he’s fine but the second he leaves the town border he develops tuberculosis and begins losing all function in his limbs

-I’m going to be honest with you guys, I’ve seen various versions of Beauty and the Beast and every time it’s the letting Belle go scene I have the same thought: I absolutely would not have read that social interaction correctly, I would have been fully under the impression we were all aware I was running an errand and coming back later. Because if I’m Belle, and I can live in the cool castle with a friend and people who are nice to me or a town I specifically stated not liking filled with a guy who is pushy and makes me uncomfortable and people who are mean to me and zero friends, I would not have been like “oh thank god I can finally go back!”

-“You should go to him. I release you, you are no longer my prisoner” See to me that reads “We are friends and I am removing this technicality between us so you can go run out and do something that is clearly important to you.” I would not have picked up on everyone in the castle thinking I was leaving forever. I’d just show up two hours later like “boy, it’s been a day, huh?” and the beast is just laying face down on the floor in his room listening to a sad boy playlist

-But the beast is clearly part dog so I guess it’s a normal reaction for him to have

-I don’t want to victim blame, but if you have a sick dad and are equidistant between “castle where everyone likes you” and “town where everyone is mean to you” and your dying father can be cured by a nap, I feel like it’s a bit on you if bad things continue to happen in the Bad Things Happen To Me town

-Not saying she should have anticipated a mob coming to incarcerate her father but I do feel like it would be expected that the people who have been mean to you and your dad would continue to be mean to you and your dad in the Everyone Is Mean To You and Your Dad town

-Because if the forced incarceration hadn’t been an issue, they would have gone to town the next day and someone would go “Hey Belle, your dad said you were kidnapped by a beast.” And everyone would point and laugh and he’d start waving his arms and going “It was the biggest beast you ever saw! 18 feet tall and claws bigger than my head!” and people would probably suggest that the guy they all call Crazy Old Maurice may be crazy and Belle would need to prove he wasn’t. I just don’t think we would have ended up with much of a different situation in any timeline that involves going back to the town

-Ok. So. If I live in a town. And I find out there is a beast within walking distance that is sentient enough to take villagers prisoner. And this guy is like “yeah he took me and my daughter prisoner, he’s terrifying!” I’m not saying I would have been part of the mob but I do think I would be worried about there being a beast and two people he previously kept prisoner living next door. And her saying “no he’s actually very sweet” would sound like those people with exotic pets who get their faces eaten by their pet tiger. Like yes they’re wrong but Belle also thought he was scary and violent until she’d been there a number of hours. I feel like if instead of giving herself up she went to town and asked for help and they created a mob to get her father back she would not have been against the idea so it’s not wholly their fault for having the same idea

-“Is it dangerous?” “No, no, he’d never hurt anyone” Every owner of a dog who wants to bite you so so bad

-So when Belle and her father are alone she is clearly telling him that the beast let her go and is kind. When asked about the beast by the town, Maurice starts yelling about how he’s the most terrifying monster in the world. Belle has to show the beast to back up her father’s claims to try and save him for the second? third? time. And then they’re locked up and she says “this is all my fault” and this man does not for a second contradict her or take blame at all. “Yeah I can’t believe you specifically caused this mess.”

“We won’t rest until he’s good and deceased.” I know there are only so many words that rhyme with beast but that’s such a funny line in a bloodlust song. I will not rest until this animal has been declared legally dead by the state

-“We will fight even though the danger just increased” I’m obsessed with all the words they had to use to rhyme with beast

-It’s so funny that this is canonically France and he is canonically a prince. They didn’t make him a duke or a lord he is directly related to the royal family and in the line of succession. Likely not the dauphin because they wouldn’t have sent him to run a castle in the countryside away from the center of politics so probably a younger son but still, this guy is part of the royal family. They didn’t have to explicitly state this is France but they do, and they reference the baroque period so it’s after the construction of Versailles. The beast is actively being stabbed to death while sentient furniture watches and at the same time his family are canonically pissing on the walls and floors of their own home

-Oh my god the beast is brooding on a chaise. Did he drag it over to the window just so he could dramatically sit on his chaise and stare longingly out at the rain? Absolute break up mood

-He’s also in a different outfit that isn’t the fancy one or his every day one, he went and changed into a breakup outfit. Important to note the breakup outfit includes a cape and what he was previously wearing did not. He chose to put on a cape as part of his breakup outfit

-So Gaston points his arrow at the beast. The beast acknowledges it then looks away. Gaston then fires and hits him and he reacts all surprised and angry that it hurt like my dude you let him shoot you with an arrow, what did you think that experience would be

-It is so wild that Gaston assumes the beast is in love with Belle. Like yeah he’s right but what a wild assumption to make when you’re not even sure this thing comprehends human speech. Again my thought would be he’s attached to her like a dog is attached to its owner, I would not see a big furry animal and be like “this thing is fully sentient and feels romantic attraction to human women”. Yeah he’s wearing clothes but still that feels like a leap. Pointing at a dog in a sweater following its owner and yelling “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

-The beast’s arc is partly him controlling his temper, and we see him want to kill Gaston but controls himself and lets him go, immediately resulting in his own death. Gotta be honest I feel like less self control would have been helpful in that specific scenario

-I didn’t remember the blood spray after the beast is stabbed followed by the stab wound bleeding a good amount of blood. Are there other Disney princess movies with onscreen blood? I think in Mulan we see blood oozing out through clothes from an injury but that’s the only other one I can think of. Eugene gets pretty bloodlessly stabbed

-Best scene in the movie: The beast floats up in the air, actively transforms into a human in front of Belle, stands up, says “Belle, it’s me!” She then squints at him, touches his hair a bit, squints at his face, and when she recognizes his eyes she goes “It is you!” Ma’am what the hell else did you think was happening. If you didn’t recognize his eyes would you have just been like “Hmmm I dunno…”

-Ok so at the end there is an entire royal court watching them dance. Again I don’t want to be a CinemaSins I just want to see the missing scene. Like did he explain what happened to him? If yes then again I want to see that conversation of him explaining to his family how he was literally transformed into a literal beast for the last ten years and they had no idea this was happening to their family member. If no, imagine just going back to being a prince after 10 years as a beast and you just have to pretend like everything has been normal this whole time. I want a sequel that’s just the human beast reintegrating not only back into society but French royal society, which was notorious for having some of the most intricate and complicated social etiquette in all of Europe

-The final shot is a stained glass window of them with a prominent rose. Now in the original he had a whole rose garden he was very attached to, so that makes sense. But I feel like this beast specifically would have only negative connotations with roses and that window would probably be seen as a little tasteless given the circumstances. “It’s a rose! You know, the physical manifestation of a curse that was clearly quite upsetting for you for nine years and roughly 360 days, reminding you daily of your flaws! Isn’t that fun?”

“Original score by Alan Menken” Look up his IMDB, if you live in at least the US this man has written the score to your entire life

[iamvegorott]

Change of Life

So I decided to hop on the Vampire Jackie trend real quick This is an angsty one~

---------

Change of Life

Jackie felt…cold? Was he cold? He was shivering, body trembling against his will. Was he actually cold? Something about his everything was wrong. 

He was also so hungry. He was starving, but it didn’t matter how much food he ate it was never enough. Eating to the point of illness and still feeling so empty and weak. He was getting angry cause of the hunger, lashing out at those he cared for, and it hurt to see himself like that. 

Jackie needed answers, needed to figure himself out and get away before he went too far. 

He curled up into a tighter ball. The dark alley that hid his body only had the sounds of passing by cars. Jackie failed at trying to find answers almost immediately. The sun had been too bright, making it almost impossible to see, and he’d been cowering in the alley for hours, too scared to leave his spot. 

The others had to be looking for him by now, and that made his heart ache even more at the thought of them worrying about him. He was the hero. He took care of the others. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. 

How did he even get here? Ever since that weird guy attacked him, it’s been downhill from there. Jackie was just trying to get wood for some project Marvin was working on. He never questioned what that man was creating, he was just excited to be helpful and went looking for some sticks that matched the little list of requirements he had been given. A little side quest, he thought of it as. It gave him an excuse to go out and check out the little forest near their home. Admittedly, it was much later into the night than it should have been for him to be exploring since they had heard howls before, but Jackie was brave and strong. Even if something came after him, he’d be fine.

But something did come after him.

And it wasn’t a coyote.

It was a man. 

 A really weird man. A man who tried to grab his neck and instead bit down on Jackie’s arm when he broke free. The man didn’t seem to expect Jackie to fight back the way he did since he simply stood there as he ran back home.

Jackie rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie, looking at the two puncture wounds on his arm. He tried to figure out how the bite left the mark that it did. They were red and sore to the touch. Jackie knew he should have told the others about it and gotten them looked at, but that would have caused so much worry, and Jackie would never be allowed to go out alone again. However, he might be losing the privilege regardless, given his current choices. 

“Shit.” Jackie cursed when he pressed too hard on the mark, and it sent a jolt of pain through his arm, almost like a quick zap of electricity. “Man…I think I messed up.” He hugged his knees to his chest, telling himself he should get up and go, but he couldn’t. He needed something and had no idea what that need was for. “Oh, not now.” Jackie groaned when he heard voices coming down the alley. He really didn’t want to deal with people. A rarity for him, so that meant he really didn’t want people around him. 

“Leave me alone!” One of the voices stood out, filled with fear. “Help! Someone help!” Jackie quickly scrambled to his feet, unable to stop himself from running over. “Help!” He saw a young man being held by two others, a third digging through a backpack, tearing out books and papers from it. 

“Would you shut up!?” One of the men snapped, yanking on the smaller man’s arm and getting him to yelp in pain. 

“Hey! Stop!” Jackie felt a voice in the back of his head yelling at him that this was a bad idea. Standing alone took so much effort from his body. He was weak and hungry. Nothing was right, and a fight should be the last thing on his mind. 

“Buzz of kid, don’t try being a hero.” The man with the bag scoffed. 

“I’m not trying. I am a hero.” Jackie puffed his chest out, trying to appear tough despite the hollow feeling behind his eyes. 

“This is annoying.” The man stood up, pulling a pocket knife out. “You don’t want to get involved in this, alright? It’s none of your business. Just go home and let us do our work.” 

“Yeah, no.” Jackie took a step forward and watched as the man reacted.

The world felt slower.

The knife went toward him, and he simply swiped it aside, like knocking away a cobweb. He took another step and threw a punch, fist connecting with the man’s nose. He could hear and feel the cracking of it. 

“Holy shit!” One of the other men yelled. Jackie’s eyes widened as the man he punched held his face, blood gushing from his shattered nose, seeping between his fingers. He didn’t mean to hit him that hard. It was just supposed to be a quick jab. 

“I…” Jackie looked at his hand, blood on his fist. 

Red… dripping…blood.

Jackie thickly swallowed. The scent was so…oh it was so good. Tempting. Alluring. 

A new ache was beginning to form in his mouth, and he didn’t care. Jackie brought his hand to his mouth and dragged his tongue along it. That rich iron taste of blood felt like a blessing, just barely scratching at satisfying his need. 

“Dude! The hell!?” Jackie heard the shout. Heard the disgust in their voice, but he didn’t hear them. He didn’t hear anything anymore. Didn’t hear the screams, didn’t hear the cries of fear and comments on his body. All he could focus on was the blood. That sweet, delicious, precious blood that was going to waste as it fell to the ground. 

Jackie’s body started moving on its own, sights only on the man bleeding. Newfound instincts took over as he caught the man, tearing at the collar of his shirt to expose more of his neck. He could see the pulsing of the vein, knowing that more blood was hiding from him and that all he had to do was-

Jackie bit down, sinking fangs into the flesh, popping through and opening the thick vein, and allowing mouthful after mouthful of blood to be sucked out. Each swallow filled Jackie with a comforting warmth, holding him, embracing him, finally getting that need to calm down, to give him back his strength. 

The man could only cry, helplessly punching at Jackie, begging, pleading to be let go. But he was trapped, hits getting weaker and weaker, and Jackie drank and drank and drank. 

Until there was nothing left. 

Nothing more came out. 

He was dry. 

Jackie dropped the body and gasped for air he didn’t need anymore. 

He swallowed the lingering taste on his tongue, and as he calmed, reality sank in. 

“S-Sir?” Jackie squeaked out. “Sir…are you…sir?” He saw the emptiness in the man’s eyes…in the corpse’s eyes. “I…did I…” 

His hands were caked in blood. He could feel it rolling down his chin and neck, soaking the collar of his hoodie. Jackie took a step back, believing that something was squeezing his throat with how tight his chest was. 

“N-No…No, I-I didn’t…I…” Jackie fumbled and fell back, eyes never leaving the body. “Sir?” He tried despite knowing the truth. “Sir, please. Sir, get up.” 

If the man moved, then it didn’t happen, right?

He didn’t-

He didn’t kill him…

Right?

“Jackie! Jackie!” Chase’s voice called from further away, searching for his friend. “Jackie!” 

“I-I was…I was just hungry.” Jackie whispered to himself. “I…please…please.” He didn’t know who he was begging to. He just wanted someone, anyone, to listen. To help him. 

“Jackie!” Chase’s voice was louder, getting closer as he finally found him. “Jackie are-oh, fuck!” He shouted at seeing the body. 

“Ch-Chase?” Jackie looked up, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I didn’t...I didn’t mean to.” 

“Fucking hell, Jackie.” Chase breathed out, not knowing what else to say yet. “Fucking hell.” He repeated and crouched down. “Are you hurt?” He asked, noticing the blood on him. “You…dude.” Chase’s thoughts shifted when he saw the red in Jackie’s eyes and the fangs stabbing into his lower lip. 

“Help.” Jackie’s voice cracked, and he wrapped his arms around Chase, hugging him and trying to hide from what he’d done. From the life he took. “I couldn’t-I couldn’t stop.” His explanation was muffled, body shaking like before but from his own sobs this time. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t. I-I swear. I swear I didn’t.” 

“It’s okay, man, it’s okay.” Chase hugged Jackie back, glancing over at the body before quickly looking away. “We’ll get this figured out. We’ll call the others.” 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Jackie continued his cries. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”

[bookwormbynight]

Batman the Animated Series dropped the ball with the two-part Two Face origin episode, let's talk about it.

This is Not a rant about problematic representation even though I'm sure we're all aware it is. I'll get into my reasoning for scooting past that in a second. Also, I adore BTAS and it's formed a good chunk of my headcanons for characters which is why this let-down for me is so annoying!!

In my personal opinion, whatever mental health issues Harvey's got should not have been called multiple personality disorder (currently named dissociative identity disorder) - not because it's problematic to have DID characters where one of the personalities is a villain, bc like, anyone can be a villain. And also it's fun.

To be clear, I'm not saying that it's GREAT if this is the only DID representation in BTAS specifically, bc it then implies in this show with an audience of children that DID is what's causing the villainy, but Two-Face with DID isn't inherently terrible in all scenarios. Some people on this wonderful site and AO3 make Harvey and Two-Face DID stories in a fun and respectful way, so if you look at it through the very focused lense of this post that this audience is made of adults having fun and possessing awareness, Harvey and Two-Face are allowed to be separate people Morally or whatever. That's not the point.

It's because it's fuckin piss poor writing lol. They did it wrong.

Within the frame of the show, Two-Face doesn't have his own personhood, he's just Harvey But Angry. This means we never really get an aspect of "two people having to share a body", or a Jekell and Hyde "your body's been taken over!" horror (pop culture conception, not the actual book), or even a "hmm we know Harvey but who is Two-Face?" All of those possible interesting plotlines for multiple personalities, out the window.

I mean, I guess Two-Face has the coin thing as a distinction but like, why? Harvey brings out the coin when being "big bad harv", but we KNOW the coin toss is his expression of duality based specifically on the 'could' and the 'couldnts' of life that he discovered after Harvey lost his original goals for the future (+his face) because he explains that out loud in the episode so like ???

Then on top of that, the backstory has nothing to do with the actual disorder, it's just that "Harvey felt the need to push down his emotions and eventually started characterizing said emotions as something different than himself". Which is a very fucking interesting idea, but they call it DID and then don't treat it like what it actually is because it's DID. Or whatever.

Boring. Sloppy. Pick one motherfuckers, toss a coin bc you can't have both I swear to God it doesn't work 😭

See, what I think should have actually happened was the actual shit in the book about Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. Use the offered backstory, have Harvey push down emotions, but then don't actually call it a different personality - have HARVEY call it a different personality. Have him make those emotions and impulses and shit so foreign to himself that slowly he loses control over them, just like Jekell. In reality, it is a part of himself, and he is responsible for his own actions, but he doesn't want to be. God, he doesn't want to be. And he's gonna make that everyone else's problem.

That would also solve the issue of "a personality only shows up when the body looks right" because that doesn't make any sense :/. If Harvey's emotional well-being/control/anger management disorder is the actual cause, then of course his self image would influence that. It would also fix the problem of the lack of distinction between the two, and the thing with the coin. (Either he's always used the coin and that's just Harvey, or he only uses the coin after the acid.)

What do y'all think.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for letting something major happen in an RP when one person wasn't available?

It was a group rp. Everyone participating is in their 20s. Going to use B, D, F, H, and J (me) for the aliases.

The plot of the rp took place in a fantasy world with some modern elements where everyone had special powers. However, I made it a rule that the OCs had to have some flaws so that they wouldn't be overpowered. B complained that it wasn't fair to police what people did with their OCs and said that we shouldn't force people to handicap their OCs. They thought it would make the rp boring if we did that. The others said to just let B do what they wanted with their OC because they are neurodivergent and this would help them feel better.

Fast forward to the actual rp. B made their character OP. Every problem was solved in a snap because B's OC was unstoppable and could do anything. Their OC would always get the credit for saving the day since they did everything. D, F, and H started regretting allowing B to just do whatever they wanted with their OC. So they consulted with me and created a new plot device: when an eclipse happens, everyone's powers would be severely weakened and/or be harder to control. Cliché, I know.

How did B take it? By making it so that their OC was immune to that and would still be strong and have perfect control during an eclipse. So their OC just solved the problem again when no one else's OCs were able to do anything. They had their OC then talk to everyone else about "you guys wouldn't be like this if you trained." D, F, and H got annoyed by that. And honestly, I did too. It was annoying how their OC would be able to do everything.

Then one day, B said they had to do something and that they wouldn't mind if we continued rping while they were gone. So that was what we did. D suggested that everyone else fight another big bad. F and H agreed to it, so I went with it. During the fight, D's OC ends up getting critically injured and the rest of us had not done anything to intervene. Or rather, made it so that the other OCs would not be able to reach them in time. D agreed to letting this happen. The big bad was still taken down, but this time it was due to a group effort from everyone's OCs minus B's.

When B returned, they were upset because D's OC was their OC's girlfriend. Both their OCs were girls. B had their OC go on an angry rant about "None of you know how to do anything right without me, and none of you care enough to protect my girlfriend in a fight. You all chose to be selfish and look after yourselves." And that everyone else was lesphobic for letting a lesbian character almost die. But D brought up that it was their idea, and B insisted that "F, H. and J tricked you into thinking that." And then B demanded we have a do over so that they could have their OC save her girlfriend. We all voted against it because it would make the plot more interesting if one of the characters stayed injured for awhile.

Sure I know that it sounds bad to let one of the few lesbian characters get injured, but said character's owner was fine with letting it happen. So it should be fine, right?

B did not like that and called us lesphobic for doing that and had their OC jump in with an ultimate healing ability she never had before so that the injuries to D's OC would not last long. F decided to have their OC intervene and block B's OC from being able to do the healing. When B tried again, H did the same thing.

B called everyone an asshole for changing the plot without them and logged off for awhile. Part of me thinks they may be right, but admitting it to them would mean we continue the cycle from before which was boring already with B's OC solving everything.

So AITA for letting something major happen in an RP when one person wasn't available?

What are these acronyms?

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

Same anon that talked about the Alastor Asexual thing. I don't want to rebuttle because I don't think this is something that needs to be rebuttle, but I disagree and agree at the same time. In case this is too long, all I really wanna say is I am on the Asexual spectrum, it's not really a problem that Alastor is Asexual, I guess I just prefer when things are left to interpretation because I am someone who tends to have a lot of headcanons that clash with barely canon information (Aka information that isn't said in the actual storyline of the media, like stuff said in a post and not in the actual show or stuff like that- I always saw the Ace In A Hole line as Rosie was joking so ye) and then I often get bullied because my opinions are unpopular.

To be completely fair, after leaving my ask I realized that I was kind of wrong. In the MLP fandom, as far as I know, main characters do not have canon sexualities, but people still constantly argue "STOP SHIPPING THAT SHE'S A LESBIAN" or "STOP SHIPPING THAT SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN". So honestly, it doesn't really matter. I guess I just wish more was left for fans to interpret, because I like to interpret a lot

I don't think creators shouldn't give their character's a canon sexuality just because of possible fandom discourse. I think creator's should be allowed to do things without it causing a problem among the fandom. I still don't really like it.

As much as I dislike giving character's canonic sexualities, I agree with you. If we have to get representation, honestly my favorite is when the character isn't just a "Token [insert identity]". Alastor and Sallie May in my mind are among the best representation because Sallie isn't shoved into the narrative just because "Trans" and Alastor isn't constantly being brought into sexual situations so he can have an "iconic"ew sex" line" In the end though, I don't like assigning identities purely for "representation". (Unless that's like the only purpose of the character's existence. In which I think that's I think that's- Well not a bad character, but just kinda weird)

This point ties to the fact that people usually just assume a character is straight if not given a sexuality, so most creators don't say the character's sexuality when they're straight. But just to let it be known, I don't like it when characters are canonically straight either. There was a time where I thought Lucifer was canonlly straight and when I was a RadioApple shipper that was very disappointing to me because I thought I would get attacked for it. Now I'm pretty sure he's Bisexual, and I now don't really like RadioApple anyway. (This is sorta unrelated, but God I wish these topics were able to be spoken about without it constantly being connected to LGBTQ+ stuff)

Thank you for taking the time to give me a detailed response that isn't "Stfu you stupid acephobe, kys"

A follow up to this confession.

Hello again! That's completely valid. It can be annoying when you have a headcanon you're particularly attached to that gets completely debunked by canon.

(I'm sure Season Two of Hazbin Hotel is going to toss a lot of my assumptions into the garbage, and I'm slightly dreading it)

I'm so sorry to hear you've been bullied. Your opinions aren't hurting anyone, and you shouldn't be being harassed over them xx

True. I see a lot of fandoms (Hazbin Hotel/Hellaverse included) where popular headcanons are treated as gospel, and anything that contradicts them is shouted down. It's extremely silly behavior, if you ask me. Arguing over canon is ridiculous enough, but being genuinely angry that your favorite headcanon isn't accepted by everyone? Silly, silly, silly.

I see! I apologize if I was putting words into your mouth. You're completely free to dislike it, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

You bring up some really good points there! If you don't mind me hijacking your confession to get up on my own soapbox;

A character should never exist just for representation. To use my own status as Your Friendly Neighborhood Bisexual as an example, I personally find it demeaning when a character is shoved into the story with no traits other "The Bisexual Character". Like, great! A Bi character! But what else can you tell me about them? I don't love Vox as much as I do because he's Bisexual, if Vox's traits were all boiled down to "This is Vox, our local evil Bisexual" I'd find him boring.

(However, if anyone out there has a different viewpoint on this topic, I'd love to hear from you!)

Okay, stepping down from the soapbox now :P

As in, we should be able to discuss a character's canon sexuality (or lack thereof), without having to link it to far heavier themes of LGBTQ+ representation? If so, I do see what you mean. Still, taking a holistic approach to fandom analysis can yield some fascinating results. But that's just my inner video essayist talking!

Anon, if anyone is telling you to 'kys', please block and report them. That sort of behavior is unacceptable, and you don't deserve to be abused over fandom discourse.

Thank-you so much for dropping by my inbox again!

-Jesse xx

[pillarsalt]

hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

[chairofchaos]

A Brief Commentary on Fandom History, Fandom Weeks, and How to Keep Moving Forward

Before you decide to read this, please go read this thing I wrote earlier. You need the context. Done reading? No? Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, and definitely don't engage with this post. Go read it. You're done? Excellent! Please remember that I said absolutely nothing in the aforementioned post about commenting on current events. Also, this contains some swearing, in case that bugs you. Any text written in this font I'm using below the break is liable to be sarcastic (if you want clarification about something like that let me know!). Word count is about 3.8k. Shoutout to @/olderthannetfic, who wrote back to that anon who was talking about the clergy-class of Big Name Fans and said,

"Nail your theses to the door."

I think that sentiment applies here.  Kudos to you, wise fandom elder. You rock.

About the Author

To reiterate how I began my last post (linked above and for the love of all fandom, go read it), I have been involved in fandom spaces for 12 years, almost to the day. I had wonderful mentors who knew that were I left unchecked, I would fumble my way through a lot of very bad ideas about what fandom should be like. They decided out of love that if I was going to be in fandom, they were going to make me into the best little fandom child I could be.

If you do the math, I was 11 when I started getting involved. What can I say? It was a different decade and I had unrestricted internet access. Nobody was keeping me from my Harry Potter and Percy Jackson fanfics. All of this to say: I was raised here, and I'm going to scream in the living room while this house burns down around me because I'd rather be a ghost in fandom than not be in fandom at all.

I am going to say a lot of things in this post. Am I perfect? NO! Will this post hold errors? Undoubtedly. Will this post be tarnished by the inaccuracies of the resources and the biases of events recorded in secondary sources? Who knows. I'm sure some of you lived through the events I am referencing here. Your context and commentary is more than welcome. Will this help give us, the ACOTAR fandom, some context for why we all care so much? I hope so.

No, I don't actually. I have no faith in anyone, not even myself.

Thanks for that, Editorial Chaos. You're one pessimistic bitch. Oh, you're going to keep showing up in this post to annoy me, aren't you...

Yep. Back to it, Chaos.

Alright, then. Anyways, I have opinions. You have opinions. There's a 100% chance that we disagree on something. That's cool with me. So let's get to it.

Why Are We Talking About This?

Elaingate. We are here because of Elaingate, and I will not lie to you about that. You will briefly hear my thoughts on that specific issue further down the line.

To those of you who would suggest that Elaingate is over? I must disagree. 

You see, this one instance may be over, but the underlying debate continues. What should fandom look like? Who can participate, and with what content? What is allowed, and who gets to decide?

These questions have not been addressed. I am not, by any means, going to pretend to be an authority on this. I do, however, wish to contribute my many thoughts, and present some events from the history of fandom.

My hope in sharing this brief summary of notable events which shaped broader fan culture will help people newer to fandom (of all kinds) understand why something like an event which bans certain types of content, or content involving specific characters, as something to be concerned, or even angry, about.

Please consider this, my contribution to the discussion, as a form of academic inquiry with an opinion thread throughout. This is something I am throwing to the fandom for consideration. Do I get preachy? Absolutely I do. Do I stand by my thoughts? Yes. 

If you want to respond and tell me I’m dead wrong, by all means, do so. I welcome a reblog or a post in response. Let’s go back and forth, citing our sources like two exhausted researchers from different university departments, fighting over faerie smut books. I’ll eat up every second of it.

No, you won’t. You’re exhausted.

Really? Please stop.

Noooooooooooooooooo.

Are these old issues, or is this a new problem?

Welcome to the party! It's both as old as fandom itself, and as new as yesterday. ("Chaos, those can't both be true, can they?" Yes, they can!)

You see, there have always been issues within fandoms. People have disagreed about whether character A should end up with character B or character C for longer than any of us have been alive. Seriously. The Ancient Greeks were arguing about this stuff thousands and thousands of years ago. 

Source: my Greek Tragedy professor. And if you want to argue that point, you can take it up with him. He’s an ornery old German man who looked at me and told me I needed to do better on my tests in front of the entire class. I had a 98 overall, and the only grades we got were the tests.

Moving on: Dare I say, we are not special?

The real difference now is that the previously separate communities of fandom are coming together on platforms where systems for separating those branches of fandom do not exist in automatically available formats.

We face new issues because the wonderful world-wide web continues to grow wider and wider. We have more people on the internet than ever before. You interact with more people by participating in online fandom than a person would have 5-10 years ago, let alone before the internet, and that comes with new challenges.

So what, Chaos?

I'm glad you asked! On LiveJournal, you could join Communities. You can envision them as a Discord server centered around a specific ship or character. You could be automatically entered into a group of like-minded people, and never really have to interact with people who shipped Character A with Character B, if you wanted.

Another form of fanfic from the pre-internet through the early internet years of fandom days were Zines (In depth "what's that?" from Purdue University). In fandom, zines were edited, curated fanworks. They were numerous. Some were public, some were private. Some Zine editors stood up to Lucasfilm. Regardless, there was content moderation, whether by community members or by corporations themselves. We'll come back to this.

Does that mean I would never have had to interact with those evil A/B shippers when I ship B/C?

Hahahahahhahaha.

No. It doesn't. You still encountered people who disagreed with you. 

And there were slurs and threats involved. It could get real ugly.

Yeah. Be thankful we have good community guideline things on Tumblr, and a reporting process on AO3. I don't think anyone is going to try to hack your computer to get your IP address and dox you for shipping the "wrong" characters (and good grief: if you care that much or truly think that is an appropriate action, please stay far, far away from me).

You looked for the community where you fit best, and that's where you started following, and finding, and interacting. It's not all that different to what you can do here once you curate your individual experience.

Chaos, why does any of this matter? Why aren't you talking about current events?

Well, in the grand scheme of things, does anything matter?

Yes, newly-nihilistic Editorial Chaos. It really does matter.

It matters because it's our history. It's how we got here. Be grateful. As for current events, I’m not really here to give you an in-depth analysis of those, as there are other posts which do that. 

I’m here to talk about the underlying issue. To do that, we need some background. I promise you need all of this context for my proposal at the end. Feel free to skip what you already know, but please take this opportunity to learn something new today!

Why did Archive of Our Own come into being?

For my sources on this, I direct you to the original livejournal post which started it all (thank you @/astolat! You can find her on tumblr and AO3. She’s responsible for so many great things and I thank her for all of them) and the more in-depth Fanlore page on the original proposal for AO3, where you can find links to relevant issues surrounding the proposal’s creation and the result of the proposal. See? Not a nihilist, Chaos. I'm helping. Like I'm "supposed to." Ugh.

The long and short of this is that internet fanfiction communities were facing censorship from the hosting sites. LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net were getting worried about the legality and perceived morality of different kinds of fanfiction, and a new site was being created specifically to profit off of fanfiction. 

For the sake of this discussion, we are going to use the word "curation". LJ, FF.net, and others were intentionally curating the kind of content they would allow and would allow users to see and interact with, partly out of fear of lawsuits, and partly out of a desire to police morality. The cleaning processes they used to get rid of things they did not like were referred to as "purges."

In the purges, many sexually explicit fics were lost. We aren’t talking about something the average 2020s romantasy reader (that’s you, ACOTAR fan!) would necessarily shy away from. We’re largely talking about a level of explicit nature that mirrors the general content of ACOTAR. There were of course fics that were less explicit, and fics that were considerably more explicit. By my understanding, the bulk were things we now see in published work.

Many fics with LGBT natures were lost, because the crackdown on “morality” I mentioned? Yeah. That had a lot to do with LGBT issues. Others have written a lot more extensively and a lot more eloquently than I can on this subject, so I am going to leave it at that. Just know it was a very large issue, and if you want more on this feel free to do some research of your own!

So the problems were numerous. The solution was created. Now we have Archive of Our Own (AO3). (Am I saying that AO3 is perfect? No. That, like most things, is a whole other post.)

AO3 is an archive. It is a hosting site, but it went about it differently than fanfiction.net or livejournal, or most of the niche, fandom-specific sites. Very few of those actually exist anymore, but they were cool.

As an archive, AO3's role was to be a place where the fics that could not be on the other sites because of curation would go to be. Notable fics that were posted in the early days of Archive of Our Own were fics with incest (wincest started here! And don’t tell me AO3 didn’t want it because, well, the creators were the ones writing it, and yes, I have sources for that), brutal violence, and explicit sexual content, among other, much more SFW G-rated type fics. 

They all had a home on AO3, because AO3 was designed primarily for authors (see sources linked above for more). It is notably not a social media, because it is intended to store works (regardless of their content*) and not share them. (*This is mostly true. There have been some problems because of this, often in the realm of Real Person Fics, or RPF. Again, it's a whole other post, but bears repeating.)

Chaos, what on earth does that have to do with fandom [Character/Ship] Week(s)?

I'm overjoyed that you would ask me such a question! It has everything to do with it.

Since the internet has taken over as the primary fandom connector, we have seen a democratization of fandom. We no longer have Zine editors telling us what we can and cannot write. We are protected by AO3's careful non-profit model, ensuring that no one is profiting off of characters owned by other people or franchises.

It has been said that "every rule and regulation you work to enforce has been written in the blood of others." 

That is... overly dramatic.

You do remember we’re called ‘Chaos’ here, right?

Fair. Why do you insist on being so damn cheerful when you’re talking about rules written in blood?

I’m trying to keep it light, Editorial Chaos. Please just… shut up.

Fine.

AO3 exists largely because certain types of fanfiction were being excluded from fandom. People were upset at the purges. People were upset that they weren't being allowed to write work with characters being in LGBT relationships. People were upset that an LGBT fic automatically got a more severe rating than its heterosexual counterpart, just on the basis of containing LGBT content. The little purges were numerous, and there were multiple large purges as platforms decided what they would be willing to accept and what they would leave by the wayside.

Archive of Our Own changed the model. Instead of platforms moderating what they would allow, AO3 implemented a tagging system which would allow readers looking for works in the archive to filter out content they did not want, or to filter for content they did want. Instead of the filter being run by the governing body, the archive was just there. It was up to the user to decide what they would read. The user moderated for their individual preferences, instead of the Organization for Transformative Works (OTW is the governing body of AO3) deciding for an entire, diverse body of fans what they would be allowed to consume. OTW’s creators saw the blood spilled. And they used it to write new rules.

This became the standard of fandom because of its equal opportunity approach. Fandoms have the ability to self-govern, and one of the easiest and safest ways to do that is through comprehensive tagging systems.

Tumblr has an incredible tagging system. Could it be better? Sure. But you can block tags for things you don't like. You, the individual. You, the solitary person, with your own lens through which you view the world. You, who are different to anybody who has ever been, and different from anyone who will be, because no one will ever share your exact set of thoughts, words, feelings, and actions. YOU.

Essentials so far:

Hosting sites began for all fanfiction

A few hosting sites became Curated sites

Curated sites led to the creation of One Hosting Site to Rule Them All (no matter what issues that may create) AO3

The one hosting site is now the primary archive for thousands of fandoms, open to all kinds of work as long as you tag correctly

The democratization of fandom gives space for all works, and allows users to consume what they will (and avoid what they wish) via comprehensive tagging systems

So... where does that leave us?

ACOTAR is a relatively new fandom. It's boomed in the last couple of years, and that's fine. That's good. It is driven on platforms like TikTok and tumblr.

Do not tell me that the TikTok fans are worse. The grass is not burning any more on the other side of the fence than it is under your feet. And yes, the grass under your feet is burning. Look around! And this is the hellsite, after all.

Tumblr and TikTok, paired with the insane (and awesome!) number of ACOTAR fans, largely keep us apart from previously existing general fandom spaces due to algorithms driving engagement. Many ACOTAR fans are new to fandom culture. I don’t think this is a bad thing. I do think it can create problems where fans with previous fandom experience who are a part of the ACOTAR fandom will clash with fans who are new to fandom.

I think this knowledge gives us a choice. There are two types of hosting sites. Why not create two types of events? This is already happening. If we can label events as one of the two types, then it will help people find their spaces where they are the most comfortable. If we create events that are labeled as either "curated" (large amounts of moderation, limits on ships allowed, etc) or "hosted" (anything goes), then we can ensure that everybody is happy. 

She means that, by the way. She works for "peace". Ha. Imagine that. But seriously, girl…

Okay, well…

My Perspective (And Why Do People Care So Much?)

Am I truly happy with this? No.

It actually really pisses her off, actually. She won’t admit it, but I will.

I think, Editorial Chaos, that fandom benefits from Archive of Our Own type approaches, where anything goes, but you must tag comprehensively. It encourages appropriate reporting of triggering material and content not safe for minors/work. This goes for fandom spaces, but most especially fandom events, which should accept things which under the umbrella of the theme they are celebrating, regardless of the perceived morality of their content.

Maybe we can't expect all spaces to be ready for anything. We don't expect that of all people. However, saying that you are hosting an event which is open to all fans that prevents people from considering a character in a new view, such as considering a morally gray character, who is presented in canon as a protagonist, as an antagonist during their character week, or issuing guidelines which would limit an author's interpretation of characters that fit within an archetype, is not truly hosting a fandom-wide event. That's a curated event. And calling it "curated" here is not a judgment.

She seriously means that, too. In case you actually care. The Suriel knows I don’t.

An event that does not allow for truly transformative fanworks within the bounds of its established purpose (a specific ship for a ship week, or including a certain character for a character week) is not an event that is open. It is curated.

An event that is curated is not open to all fans, and should not be presented as such. I’m not going to make a judgment call and say that it is wrong. Get together with your friends and host your own week. I don’t care if you do that! I encourage it! Call it a fic trade, call it something else, but it isn’t an “open” event. It is curated.

However, I want you to keep something in mind as you curate public-facing events: Stop policing for morality. That’s going to end very poorly for us. Keep in mind that the things you are reading in ACOTAR now would have been, and are, in some places, being pulled from library shelves (if they’re getting published at all!) because of the same kinds of arguments you are making about morality. 

If you truly want more ACOTAR books, consider that, were your thoughts and opinions transposed to the real-life debate about book censorship (which isn’t really different from curation/moderation except that its issued by a corporation or government, which is an added level of intensity) by people who thought explicit sexual content didn’t belong in published books, you wouldn’t have ACOTAR at all.

An event presented as open to all fans when it is not actually open to all fans is in fact censorship, defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary (accessed via Apple) as “the suppression or prohibition of any parts of books, films, news, etc. that are considered obscene, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security.” 

Despite that, if this move to identifying events as either “open” or “curated” is what we need to get through this, then so be it. So be it. I'll be disappointed, and I'll be frustrated. And, so help me, I'll be angry. I will. I will not lie to you about that, but I will deal with it.

I love the “don’t like, don’t read” aspect of fandom. I like extensive, comprehensive, and sometimes-even-silly tagging. I like exploring things that I may not like, and then deciding “this just isn’t for me.” I like blocking tags!

More than that, though? I am tired of the fighting. I am so damn tired of it, guys. We have to do better. We seriously do. 

(Under 18s, and frankly, even 18-25s like myself, I’m just going to say one thing to directly to you, in case you are here. If you only take one point away from this post: Please learn to be nice to each other when you disagree. You, me, and our generations are notoriously bad at that. These people can be some of your best friends. Read that post I linked at the top for more details on good old human decency on public facing platforms. Complain to each other in DMs here or on Discord. Go outside and scream when you are frustrated, if you must. You’ll thank yourself one day, I promise.)

We are not treating each other with basic human dignity. We are not treating people like people. We also are not doing a good job of simply moving away from things that upset us at an individual level. We cannot expect to only see things we agree with. What we can do is acknowledge that our emotions are our responsibility. 

Community spaces do not need to be moderated for your enjoyment. If you are a part of a community space intended to be enjoyed with moderation like Reddit or some Facebook groups, great! If you are a part of a large group of people on a public platform like Tumblr, or in some type of semi-open community space like an open Facebook group or Discord server with a ton of people and expect to only see things you agree with or never encounter criticism, tough. 

Learn to accept criticisms of ideas you agree with. You don’t have to accept the criticism itself. You do have to accept that people are going to have thoughts you may not agree with, and that you will see them from time to time no matter how well you think you have blocked and closed off your experience to fit your tastes. (There is a big difference between appropriate criticism in the general environment and direct vitriolic hatred, which I decried in the post you should have read before starting. Which is why Editorial Chaos insisted you started there, to be clear.)

It’s exhausting to pretend like things are fine.

The grass is burning, remember? We’re all on this hellsite together.

So take from this post what you will. Consider my proposal for two kinds of fandom events. Ask questions, if you wish. Send me your thoughts. 

Just remember I’ll be the one answering cruel ones. Keep it together, folks. I was raised well, but I’ve got Nesta’s tongue and years of therapy to prove it.

I wish you all well. I truly do. I hope you learned something, or were able to consider something in a new light. I hope you find it helpful. 

All my best,

Chaos

Hey. Can I go, too?

Yeah, dude. Go to bed. It’s like… 3 AM and you’ve been obsessively working on this for days. How many research papers on censorship in fan controlled spaces did you-

Shut up, Chaos. At least we’re done now. Finally. Peace, y’all. <3 (not really), Editorial Chaos

xxx

One final note from my last editing round of this piece: I truly did spend days researching these topics, and reading thoughts from various points of view here on tumblr. I hope having the back and forth from "Chaos" to "Editorial Chaos" was entertaining rather than distracting. I hope some part of you enjoyed reading this. I truly do.

The first draft of this post was written not long after the Elaingate hashtag was created. It was a lot shorter. It was a lot meaner. It was a lot more discombobulated. I hope, despite the length and the occasional rudeness, that you have been able to learn something new, or consider a new perspective.

This subject matters a lot to me. In my state, we are fighting book bans left and right, and have been for a few years now. I recognize a lot of the statements I have seen here on tumblr from that very fight, and it makes it incredibly personal to me.

Thank you for understanding that for me, and many others around the globe who face much stricter regulations than those proposed in my district, this is more than a debate about morality and censorship in fanfiction. It is about addressing a pattern of thought that has real world consequences in our neighborhoods.

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for your kindness. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

And in case anyone is curious? Editorial Chaos is the bitch who edits all my fanfictions. Yes, really. She has her own brain (/kidding!). And she's so mean to me. All the time. (/true.)

[thetownwecallhome]

Worst Nightmare Before Christmas criticisms I've ever heard:

(( OOC. paraphrazed and not linking to exact sources but:

>"Why is everyone singing?" >"Why does this music sound like something out of maralyn manson?" >"Sally's such a dunce; she's too stupid to get herself out of those ropes at the end." >"Halloween and Jack don't do anything for their holiday why should they ever have to complain about work?" >"Sally's such a [derogatory wymen word]!" >"The Christmas Town elves are disturbing to look at they're so creepy and unsettling." >"Jack is an incel." >"Sally's useless and all she ever does is swoon over Jack. She cares about nothing else and just has to be saved by him all the time. Ick." >"Sally is completely reliant on Jack she's completely codependent on him, actually." >"Jack Skellington's an expression-less stick man of a character. He's a nothing burger." >"This movie's message amounts to "stay in your place/don't stray from the norm'' when you really think about it. Pretty messed up there, Didney." >"Sally's so ungrateful and cruel to Jack and not supportive of his Christmas thing." >"Santa's so mean and angry and bitter and Jack would make a better Santa." >"Sally's such an ungrateful daughter to Dr. Finkelstein. How dare she want to escape; Fink's just protective, I swear." >"Jack's Christmas was actually better and Jack should have been allowed to do what he wanted cuz Jack actually really didn't do anything wrong."

PSA time kids: If someone you know says they don't really get/like/are annoyed by Nightmare Before Christmas because of x, x, and x reasons, the correct response is to let them keep that opinion. They're not arguing about out? Don't argue about it. Be adults, kids. Hatedom =/= criticism. People can appreciate something and just not personally like it that much (like me and Invader Zim or Rocky Horror) or even like it but also be able to point out the flaws in it (like me and Monster High). What's important is that this someone accepts that YOU love this thing, while YOU respect THEIR boundaries and not try to make them "see your way". --Not to get off track, but nothing makes someone ACTUALLY resent your special interest than you being really aggressive and demanding about it to them--

Within fandom, especially your own, I think you should be able to spot actual "hatedom" when you see it -and/or, ascertain what makes a bad take actually bad vs a take you just have to disagree with.

For me a bad take is: actively misreading the text/refusing to engage with text on it's own terms; inserting yourself where the text is asking you NOT to; being a jerk about your opinion like you have the one take to rule them all; and finally; coming in with a toxic badfaith/badtake cocktail and not even caring that you're doing so. This is what so many of the worst takes surrounding TNBC amount.

The "Jack is an emotion-less nothingburger of a character" is the one that perplexes me the most. I only ever saw that one once on a "cult movies that are actually not good"-site article. Feel whatever way you want about Jack as a character but I have no idea how you look at that guy and think "no personality" or even no EXPRESSION.

Ya killing me, smalls. ))

What a genuinely horrible rant there!

[moseslikellamas]

♱𖣂 Redfork Menace ♱𖣂 pt.28

Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!OC

Summary - The Bracken and Blackwoods gather evidence against the Pipers.

Warnings - fem!reader, suspense, adult language, period typical misogyny, condescension, adult language, feelings of shame, feelings of guilt, manipulation, benjicot brainrot, Kieran Burton fancast.

Word count - 2.6k

“Does it really matter at this point?” Shanda threw her hands up in defeat. “What’s done is done and you all agreed to it in some fashion. So suck it up, we’ve got bigger issues.”

She was standing in front of all of the newly married couples, sans ser Joth Piper obviously. She hadn’t slept a wink, they’d all been up talking and debating what to do with the mess set before them. Shanda bad insisted they gathered the rest of the couples there a few hours ago. She might be annoyed by Bellena on most occasions but she did not wish harm upon her. She sat just as prim and proper as ever, seemingly unaffected by it all but Shanda worried about her.

“Martyn, tell us again exactly what you hear him say.”

Martyn sighed before standing to relay the same words he’d been repeating all night. “After you and Alysanne left, I decided I would take a look around. No one saw fit to let me in on what was actually happening.”

Shanda knew he was still pissed at her but she had tried to find him. She was frustrated that Alysanne hadn’t just clued him in. She thought it had been obvious that Martyn was not a part of keeping the men in the dark.

“So, I started listening in on people’s conversations. Everyone was already half drunk and too eager to boast about whatever exploit their house was up to. Most of it was boring regular stuff. Some of it was just straight up lies but Ser Joth. He was different.”

Shanda turned away from her brother. She was so angry she almost could not bear it. Royce had lost it, he’d been removed from the room seconds after he found out and she knew he would not be fit to stand at the trial.

“He was bragging about an incident which was nothing out of the ordinary. It was when he mentioned Shanda that my ears perked up. As far as I knew, the two of them had never met before this trial. So how could he have one upped my sister? And why was he so smug about it?”

She met Martyns gaze then and felt her heart squeeze at the sight of him. The two were so very much alike and because of that, they’d finally exposed a killer.

“I waited, hiding behind them in the shadows. I was hoping he would just blurt it out, say how he had won. But it was worse.” He could not keep the tremble out of his voice. “He pulled out a familiar dagger, Garron’s. Wrapped around it, mothers topaz necklace. And then he said, ‘The stupid bitch wanted to cut through us from the Gold road to the River road, well we cut through them easy enough.’”

To her it was indisputable evidence. Martyn would know their mothers necklace anywhere and there was no mistaking Garron’s dagger. The handle was inlaid with iridescent pearls only found in Blazewater Bay where the man had spent his youth living and fighting in Saltspear. But Joth could’ve disposed of both by now and they would only have Martyn word against two Pipers.

“I believe you, Martyn. But if they’ve disposed of the dagger-“ She left the sentence to hang there, unsure of how to continue.

Lady Smallwood spoke up in the ensuing silence. “It’s probably nothing but I thought I should mention it anyway. About a moon or so ago, the Pipers asked to cross our lands. We didn’t think anything of it, they said they wanted to access the Bluefork for some fishing variety. We have allowed this crossing before on occasion and saw no reason for worry at that time either. So we allowed them over. I hadn’t thought of it since but now that I think about it, I’m worried.”

“Worried how?” Martyn asked, looking at the tense set of her shoulders.

“Well, it's a rather serious accusation. But during the trial, there was mention of a fire at Stonehedge.”

She let the statement hang in the air but they all knew what she was insinuating.

“Fucking hell.” Benjicot said, pacing angrily.

“They wouldn’t have had to cross any other house to reach Stonehedge either.” Beck chimed in looking equally as upset.

“Maybe the ghost of High Heart could testify for us.” Shanda said bitterly.

“What about House Harwin?” Piped up Elyana Darry. “Supposedly ser Harwin’s daughter is a proper horse woman. Perhaps she might’ve seen something of the Pipers.”

Shanda frowned trying to remember ser Harwin’s daughter. He had only recently become the lord of Harrenhal, his father passing away sometime last year. The name escaped her though.

“Her name is Mellara.” It was Bellena, of course, who answered. “And she’s headstrong and annoying so good luck bargaining with her.”

Shanda rolled her eyes. “We know you two were fostered together for some time, Bell. Help us out.”

Bellena sniffed, holding her head up high. “You’ll owe me for it, Bracken.”

“Actually it's Blackwood now.” Benjicot said, stepping forward and placing a hand on her back.

Shanda shook his hand off. Sometimes the team you get isn’t the one you want. But this was what she had to work with so she didn’t waste anytime bemoaning the fact her husband was a brainless animal.

“I’ll owe you one, I swear.” She said to Bellena instead, ignoring Ben.

Bellena stood, smoothing the nonexistent wrinkles out of her skirt before she left. Shanda suddenly felt so tired, wishing for nothing more than to collapse into a soft warm bed.

“I’m going to talk to Elmo. There’s no sense in holding this thing at dawn. All of you should get some rest, I’ll let you know what’s going to happen later.”

Alysanne looked more alert than anyone else and it was so confusing. The woman had been blasted with alcohol half the night and yet looked a whole heck of a lot better than Shanda felt. She wondered where the magic endless reserve of strength the woman pulled from was hidden. The rest of them all simply nodded and said their quiet goodbyes. Shanda took a moment to thank them all personally as they left. She worried about Bellena, who refused to express any distress despite her new husband standing accused. She resolved to go to the Harwin’s quarters to meet with her. It would be better to share the burden together.

She began to tell Benjicot just that when Marcelle interrupted her.

“I’ll deal with Bellena. She could use more patience than you have. Go to sleep before Elmo summons us all on a twisted whim.”

She considered protesting but before she could open her mouth to argue, Benjicot had thanked Marcelle and was sweeping them out of the room.

“You really are an insufferable brute.” She complained, pulling against his hurried pace.

“And you’re a stubborn pain in the ass. We’re even, now keep walking before I pick you up.”

She pressed her lips together firmly and fought the urge to slam herself to an abrupt stop. The faster she walked, the sooner she could go to sleep. It wasn’t long before the familiar sight of her door greeted her and she let out a sigh of relief. It had been the longest day/night of her life. Not to mention the week that had preceded it had been a living nightmare. So it was to her great displeasure when Benjicot did not simply drop her off and leave for his own quarters.

“Ben, you should get some sleep.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

She frowned as he began to unbutton his shirt, pulling it off while staring at her. She rubbed her temples, turning away from him. She leaned against the table, thoughts still racing despite her sleepiness. She wondered what Alysanne was saying to Elmo and whether it was working or not. She nibbled on some stale bread, wishing for something better but too tired to go grab anything.

“Shouldn’t you go to your own room?”

The look he gave her said it was not up for discussion and she didn’t have the energy to protest. A knock on the door interrupted whatever response she was mustering up. Benjicot opened the door just an inch before he was pushed aside by Alysanne. She came blessedly, with food. She set two trays down and a flagon. Shanda could have kissed her.

“You’re an angel.” She said instead, shoving fresh hot cinnamon rolls into her mouth.

“I know. You’re all going to have me sainted after my death for it too. Now, Elmo has agreed to move the trial til tomorrow.”

“Then it is a trial after all.” Benji murmured.

They’d been unsure if Elmo would actually charge Joth and the Pipers. After all, there wasn’t much evidence.

“We found the dagger.”

Shanda’s heart leapt at the news. She grabbed Alysanne by the hands and spun them around, laughing.

“That’s wonderful news.”

“It was enough for Elmo to call for an official trial.”

Alysanne grabbed a roll of her own and bit into it before continuing. “Also found this by the luck of the gods only.”

She produced Shanda’s mothers necklace and she gasped. Tears welled in her eyes at the sight of the jewel glittering back at her. She gingerly reached out to take it from Alysanne.

“They tried to chuck the dagger but a guard saw them. I went down to watch them dive for it, that was a trip. The necklace was sewn into a dressline in his cousin's closet. Almost didn’t spot it but something just told me to check.”

Shanda looked at her in awe before pulling her into a fierce hug. “We will definitely saint you.” She promised.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be back this evening. I talked Elmo into letting us have a private dinner tonight.”

Still in shock and admiring the jewel in her hands, Shanda did not notice Alysanne’s exit.

“Come on, finish eating. We need to sleep.”

Shanda looked up from the necklace, pocketing it before glaring at Ben.

“Do you ever do anything besides boss other people around? Or is that a special privilege you save for me?”

He moved to her side, pulling her out of her seat. He then sat in it and pulled her into his lap. She could feel the vibration of his voice when he spoke next.

“Most people don’t need to be reminded to stay on task half as much as you do. Shall you eat or do you need assistance?”

“Agh, whatever!” She picked up a fork and began to pile a plate full of food, ignoring the satisfaction radiating off of him.

“How are you feeling?”

She froze mid forkful for a second before snapping out of it. “I’m as good as can be expected. Better than Royce. Better than Martyn too which means pretty good I’d say.”

“I’ll kill him for you.” He whispered against her neck as she bit into a strawberry. “If he chooses a trial by combat, I’ll cut him open and display his insides.” She slowly swallowed, goosebumps breaking out on her skin as he ran his fingers up and down her arm.

She wanted to be disgusted by his words. She knew she should be. It was wrong to wish death upon anyone and worse to endanger Benjicot’s life to do it. But the fantasy of it played through her mind for longer than it should have before she shut it down.

“Let us pray that does not happen. I only just became a wife, I’d rather wait a moment before becoming a widow.”

“Like he stands a chance of defeating me.” He scoffed, offended at the notion. “Don’t worry about me, my love.” He snuggled into her, squeezing her tightly. Then he abandoned breakfast and took her with him. Lifting her into the air before depositing her on the bed. He crawled in after her and wrapped his arms around her. The two of them settled down together snug under the covers. She felt her eyes drooping closed against her will and she fought a yawn.

“You should be more careful.” She said, failing to contain a yawn.

“Shhh.”

Wrinkling her face in irritation, she snuggled deeper into the bed and fell asleep instantly.

***

A harsh wind snapped around her, her wind temporarily blinding her as she struggled to pull it back. Thunder sounded and she could hear the rain moving across the trees as it grew closer to her. The roar would have been lovely if she hadn’t caught sight of her surroundings. She was on a cliffside, rocky uneven terrain tried to trip her at every turn. The sky was dark with clouds and she squinted for sight of anyone else. Why was she up here again? The cliff made her think of Seaguard though she had never been before and couldn’t know if that’s where she was now

The rain finally reached her, soaking everything and making the uneven ground even more treacherous as she navigated her way down. At least she hoped she was heading down, it was so dark it was hard to tell which way she was going. But something felt oddly familiar to her, she just could not place what it was. She was sure she had never been here before and yet the persistent feeling that she had lingered about her. She kept walking, hoping to see another person or a castle somewhere in the distance. But all she saw was rocks and moss as far as the eye could see.

As she walked, she came up short, nearly plunging off the side of the mountainside cliff. She was sure she had been walking the other way but turned around and continued on. The birds began to show up then. At first it was only a few but the number grew the longer she walked until there were hundreds of them. All watching her with their blackened, unblinking eyes. It made her want to scream. The next time she nearly walked off a cliff, when she turned around a field of crows stood just behind her. They left her no room to walk as they coated the ground around her.

“Get away! What do you want?” She screamed at them, feeling horror at the sight of them.

They all charged her, flying up to peck her face off. She flew backwards in fright, flying off of the cliff. The wind whistled past her louder than it had ever been. And then she hit the water.

Shanda woke with a start, her heart pounding. She stood up, breathing heavily. When she managed to calm her heart she saw Benjicot still fast asleep. Judging by the sunlight coming in, it was only noon. She’d only gotten a few hours of sleep. She walked over to the table where the leftover food sat and poured herself a drink. As she drained it, she thought of the dream. It had mimicked the vision she had in the godswood. That was why it had felt so familiar.

Glancing back at Benjicot, she envied his peaceful slumber. When he woke up, they would have to have a serious conversation about their visions. She wouldn’t let him persuade her away from getting answers this time. It was worrying her not to know what it meant. She hoped this trial was the ensuing storm waiting for her. She wanted this to go as smoothly as possible, given the sensitive nature of the situation the last thing they needed was prophetic revelations happening in the middle of it all.

Placing her cup back on the table she made her way back over to the bed and crawled under the covers. She shivered, it was so blessedly warm inside from the sheer amount of heat Benjicot radiated. She curled up beside him, already half asleep by the time she was fully horizontal.

[genshinconfessions]

"Skin as black as the abyss"?? Because that's the only two choices, right? They either have to be jet black or extremely pale. It's not like there is a million different shades in between.

If they had chosen Cyno's actually-pretty-pale tone as their lightest color for the region, pulled from Kaeya, Xinyan and the Eremite Stone Enchanter then slid us one solidly medium brown character this wouldn't be happening. Sure, there would still be angry people but I think it would have been enough to keep it from escalating like this. But it's looking like they won't even do that much.

Nobody should be making death threats, nobody should be telling anybody to end themselves. This is not something that only one side is doing. Slurs? Most of the slurs that I've been seeing are anti-black. A whole lot of the n-word being dropped by people who are legitimately offended by darker-skinned characters being added to their media.

People from the relevant groups are allowed to have whatever feelings about it that they want but they shouldn't get to speak over others. One of the tactics by the "make 'em all pale" side has been to demote anybody who doesn't agree with them to "white" or "Westernized". (They did this with Sumeru too.) No matter where you grew up or how connected you are to your culture, If you don't agree then you are a "racist gringo" and don't deserve to speak.

Remember: Even without the bad behavior on some people's parts, there is no "acceptable" way to protest this. Anything that can be done that's loud enough to spread the word and maybe get HYV's attention is going to be seen as "childish", "annoying", and "spoiling everything". They want us to just quietly give up and leave. VAs speak up? "If you don't like it just quiiiit!!" You can't do it the right way because there is no right way to them.

Maybe this will do absolutely nothing. But I feel like we need to at least try. Nothing happens by sitting on your hands. People actually attached to the project talking about it and lending support, it making it to gaming news sites, 64,765 signatures on the petition and growing. I don't know, I kind of want to believe that maybe we can make them shift a little bit.

.

[cringefaecompilation]

Wdym by mra-y arguments? I've seen some things that mill down to "Imogen is a crazy hysterical bitch that they need to put down" but i wanna know if there's anything I missed :0

i kinda brushed up on it in the ask, but the insistence about imogen not giving a crap about his feelings because he’s a man is/was weirdly popular. which is a flagrant lie, imogen understands how this mission sucks for him getting triggered day in and day out by having to interact with the guy who traumatized him, and has enough empathy to not want to take away the gods for fear of mass-traumatizing others. also, if you think she hates him or thinks her trauma is “worse” skill issue, no the fuck she doesn’t. please actually watch the show instead of getting angry at a “no boys allowed” twitter user quip about how much they want imogen to punch him in the face.

this also affected fearne a bit too, mostly in the way of “if only dorian was here, he would understand how orym is feeling/ashton is the only person in bh that cares about orym’s feelings” as if fearne isn’t his best friend or went through similar things. also dude’s just very “don’t rock the boat-y” in all his actions and often intentionally distracts the team from his feelings because he doesn’t want to bother them and at some point you can’t blame everyone else for it.

unlike most drama, this one actually has reasoning behind it. unfortunately, that reasoning is stupid. it took the massively equally dumb shipping drama behind the beau.jes community that was inundated with trans woman exterminatory radical feminists and applied it to im.odna and bell's hells. while there were and still are people who acted like women were perfect and all the men were abusers in the c3 fandom, a lot of complaints about the guys ranging from casual nitpicks to bad faith fanfiction were painted with the same brush of “crazy man-hating feminists” (because i guess trans women don’t exist or something?) and acted like all the women were evil demons getting every one of their eviiiiiiiiil actions excused because they had estrogen in their bodies. it was fucking dark. if you headcanoned imogen as a lesbian you were basically chucking heterosexual little boys into a meatgrinder. why else do you think laudm.oore got so insufferable?

look, i get it. it got annoying seeing people demand fcg get blown up for being reckless or that laudna should eat orym or that they should have abandoned ashton on the side of the road any time any of them did something sort sighted. but the way to get around that is not to start saying that imogen’s meant to go full dark phoenix and kill the party because she’s crazy and murderous or that laudna is just a delilah chrysalis from day one and is biding her time to strike. or that they’re going to be evil demonic lesbian twin bbegs that get murdered and then perc’halia and fjorester can make out on their grave.

on the flipside, watching people chuck orym and ashton under the bus any time one of them did/does something that they took personal offense to is so odd it loops around to being funny. double if they’re a delilah stan. like, who is worse for laudna? an abusive white supremacist-adjacent woman that tortured her nonstop for 30 years and tried to kill her thrice over the past month or two guys who act like selfish tunnel-visioned pricks to her intermittently? like you think that it’d be no contest, but a shocking amount of people choose the abusive woman because they headcanon her to be far more interesting than she really is and/or “at least we’re not forced to think she’s a good person!”

[phoenixwitch13]

Michael Guerin Deserves Better Than This Shit

I love both Michael and Alex, and I especially love Malex. I have my crack ships pairing them with other people, but there's no other ship I want more in canon than Malex. That being said, I get really annoyed with Alex stans (I use the word stans instead of fans because they are usually crazy fans who only love Alex and low key seem to hate Michael) who act like Michael is some monster for having dated Maria and like Alex should have been furious with him. Now, I hate Miluca as a ship and Maria DeLuca as a character, so it's not about liking the ship as one of my crack pairings. No, it's all about the fact that for ten years, Alex walked away from Michael. For ten years, Alex broke Michael's heart (I know he had his reasons for his actions and I understand them, but this is still what happened). And for a matter of weeks, Michael dates someone else (because he was not actually with Maria in canon for more than a few weeks and it was, as she said, on a non-exclusive trial basis), and suddenly he's some big bad monster who hurt Alex beyond repair? Sorry, but no. He doesn't deserve to be hated for that. Not when you don't dislike Alex for leaving him over and over again for a decade. You know who Alex should be angry at, though? Maria. He has no right to be angry with Michael for not believing he would stay this time and for trying to move on with someone else (not saying he can't feel hurt, but he doesn't have a right to be angry with Michael the way some stans wanted him to be). But he can be angry with Maria for getting together with Michael after finding out about him being in love with him when she claims to be Alex's best friend. Alex can be angry with Maria all he wants because she was a crappy friend, but being angry with Michael for dating someone else, no matter who that person was, would only make him look like an ass, which is probably why he had no anger toward Michael on the show. The people who think he should be angry with Michael look like hypocrites, especially since many of them happily also ship Alex with Forrest or Kyle or sometimes even Max, Michael's brother. So, what? Only Alex is allowed to be happy with someone else when the love of his life leaves him? Michael just has to suffer? This post is not supposed to be anti Alex. I love him and don't actually think he did anything wrong in canon. What I'm calling out is the behavior of his stans, which is really not cool. Michael doesn't deserve that bullshit, and I think if Alex was a real person, he'd be pissed at anyone who thought Michael deserved for him to be angry with him and to suffer the way some fic writers try to make him.

Also, if you disagree, know you won't change my mind on this, so don't waste your time typing something out to rant at me, okay? I'll probably just delete your reply without finishing reading it. Maria DeLuca stans DNI. Miluca stans DNI. Crazy Alex stans who hate Michael even though that means Alex would hate you, DNI.