#i actually really like this... i think it came out okay all things considered....

[bebx]

hear me out:132 inho & s2 gihun? i cant stop thinking abt what inho was like in his games 🥹

I think they might have even been actual friends if they met each other when In-ho was Player 132, an actual player who was trying to save his wife.

but again, the thing is that — if it's the same rule before it's changed this year — that would mean only one person walked out with the money, and yeah, even if In-ho and Gi-hun were actual friends, I think In-ho would never choose to 'stop the game' even if he and Gi-hun were the last two finalists, thus he'd have to kill Gi-hun in order to get the money to save his wife. because for the Player 132 version of In-ho, he wasn't playing for the money. I mean yes, he needed the money, but the point is that it was the save his wife's life. so I don't think he was going to back down even if winning meant killing Gi-hun. I think he would do anything and everything to save her, and he'd stop at nothing.

and actually I think Gi-hun would understand that, why In-ho needed to do this. I think Gi-hun might not even fight, because (assuming the year was 2015 and Gi-hun's mother didn't also need the money for her medical bills), he would understand In-ho's family needed this money. he might even tell In-ho it's okay as In-ho crossed the finish line and Gi-hun was 'eliminated'.

so In-ho went home with the money his wife and their child needed. but would the death of Gi-hun also ruin and haunt him? absolutely.

would he — even if he made it in time and was able to save his wife — still be changed by the game? yes. considering all the blood on his hands, I think In-ho would still be changed even if he could save his wife.

but in a different scenario where he came home with the money and was too late (so his wife and their child still died), it'd also mean Gi-hun died for nothing — he killed his friend for nothing. and I think that would fuck him up real bad. not only did he lose a wife and a child, he also killed someone he considered a good person, a friend (if Gi-hun was alive, Gi-hun would have taken him out to get the soju they talked about, In-ho would not have been mourning alone, but Gi-hun was dead. his wife and child were dead. I'd say In-ho should really go to his brother and just be with him, because then — if he was alone with his thoughts and guilt — the person he would become would be so much worse than the Front Man in canon universe).

another scenario is that Gi-hun's mom also needed the surgery for her medical bills. in which case, I don't see Gi-hun 'let In-ho win', because even if Gi-hun knew In-ho needed the money to save his family, Gi-hun also needed that money to save his mother. so it would actually be a fight until one of them died. and no matter who made it out alive, no matter if they came home too late, I think they'd still be broken or at least changed by the game.

there're just so many possibilities. but god, I hope we see flashbacks of In-ho's time as Player 132.

[summertimeinmonaco]

I FINALLY EXPERIENCED SHIFTING SYMPTOMS AFTER OVER 5 YEARS OF BEING A SHIFTER !!!!

SHHXSJWJZJSJWJJJZJS OKAY so I’ve been a shifter for over 5 years and like many other shifters, I’ve found out about shifting from tiktok/youtube. At first, I used to subconsciously think that it wasn’t real (It is) and it sounded way too good to be true and other normal things to think about when you first hear about something like shifting.

To fast-forward and to keep it really short so this isn’t a million words long, I used to be really lazy when it came to actually attempting to shift and I would honestly half-ass it all the time and I really only started to actually lock-in to shift in december of last year because of procrastination, I would try methods like the raven method, julia method, listening to alunir, manifesting, etc. But nothing worked for me until last night. Early on yesterday, I thought to myself “I’m tired of daydreaming about my DR, I need this to work this time.” So instead of using other people’s methods and techniques, I decided to follow through with my heart and do what I felt was right for me. Throughout the day I kept gaslighting myself and telling myself “Shifting is inevitable for me”, “I’m going to wake up in my DR tomorrow”, “Nothing is going to stop me”, etc. I was REALLY enforcing it into my head that tonight is the last time I’m waking up in this reality being disappointed.

Then as nighttime approached, and I was finished with all the responsibilities of this reality— I had quickly scanned through certain parts of my script, who i was, where i was going to wake up, etc. Just so i can re-enforce it in my mind, i read through my entire script a million times over since learning about shifting so every other detail of my DR was common knowledge to me already. Then, I found a brain hemisphere synchronization track— To somehow explain it, it’s something similar to binaural music, it’s said to induce a trance-like state using frequency music. As I played it, I said to myself “Don’t overthink anything, just do what you think is right.” So I had put on a blindfold, closed my eyes, and lie down on my bed in the starfish position(Keeping all your limbs apart, not touching each-other) and I told myself harshly, “Your not moving again until you shift.” Being harsh to myself ussally worked for me because it enforced myself not to give up. As the video I chose started to play, I had stayed completely still, focused, and visualizing my DR and where I was planning to wake up in my DR.

What I thought really helped me, was staying completely still— Staying still and not moving tricked my brain into thinking I was going to sleep and it slowly signaled my body to shut down to sleep-mode. I believe this made it easier for me to shift because my body was asleep but my mind was fully awake. After perhaps an hour of doing this + saying my affirmations & visualizing my dr is when I actually started to feel symptoms. My body by now went fully numb and I could barely feel my bed and my surroundings. I started to feel my eyes repeatedly twitch/move as if they were going side to side while being closed. then my arm moved suddenly without my brain telling it to do so, all of these things felt very odd but i told myself to not be focused on it and keep doing the routine I created. Then the biggest symptom of all started to happen— I felt like I was spinning. The spinning first came about very slowly, it felt odd considering my body was still numb and unmoving, then the spinning started to get really intense and fast and I felt my heartbeat speed up increasingly and I thought to myself “omg it’s happening, i’m shifting”. Then, I realized how fast and scary this was for me, It never really sunk in for me how I was going to feel when I started to get symptoms, I knew i was probably going to feel them, but i didn’t know how intense they were going to be. While thinking this and feeling how scary this felt I feel like i sort of psyched myself out of it and the spinning had slowly stopped and I thought “Okay, this was a lot, I should probably take a break for tonight.” and I decided to sleep. But I TRULY believe that if i haven’t freaked out, I would’ve successfully shifted realities last night.

That’s it. Im really proud of myself for focusing the way I did and I’m EXTREMELY happy and excited that I was able to finally feel shifting symptoms, now that I felt them, I genuinely KNOWWWW that shifting is real and anybody can do it. All i need to do now is keep doing what I did and sooner or later, I will finally wake up in my DR. Now that I felt these symptoms, I think it would be nice to continue to share my experiences on this blog until I finally shift, so that’s what I will be doing so I will be updating very consistently.

I apologize if this post seems very frantic and jumbled up because it is. I’m writing this still very shocked and everything hasn’t fully sunk in yet, I just thought to quickly put everything that happened out there. Please let me know if anybody else has had a similar experience or similar symptoms because I would genuinely love to hear about it. 🤍

ty for reading all the way if you did !!!!

[uncannydevotion]

more jeff thoughts!! he’s haunting me!! so here’s a part two to this post lol. it's just tht post but in jeff's pov, really.

warnings: lots of mentions of murder, blood, stalking, abduction. jeff is his own warning, really.

wc: 1.8k words of the ramblings of a madman

ever since jeff was young, he’d always been a bit of a jerk.

it was never too much though, just... he never had a filter when it came to his words, and it got him in trouble more often than not. it made it hard for him to make friends, because he'd always say something mean and it would just make people dislike him.

but then you had come into his life.

you moved in next door, and you were just a few months younger than him but you followed him and liu around like a puppy because they were the only other two kids in the neighborhood, and none of the kids at school wanted to hang out with the new kid.

he had expected you to prefer liu over him, to be honest. liu was nice, liu never said anything mean to you, liu knew how to comfort you when you'd fall on the concrete and scrape your knees.

jeff wasn't mean, but he didn't say nice things. you'd scrape your knees and he'd call you an idiot for tripping before helping you off the ground while you held back tears.

he really thought you didn't like him.

but you would hang out with him, even when liu wasn't around. jeff would decide to go out into the forest to throw rocks into a creek and you'd follow after him. when you'd sleep over, you always slept in his room. he thought it was because he had a bunk bed, but who knows.

he remembers the day you called him your best friend like it was yesterday.

it had been scorching hot outside, so you, jeff, and liu were all sitting in the living room of your house while your parents and their parents were setting up some stuff in the backyard for a pool-party and cookout.

liu was playing some castlevania game on his ds, and you were watching some show on tv. jeff wasn't paying attention to the show, he was too busy staring up at the ceiling.

but at some point, you had tugged at the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention, and when you looked at you, you had asked if he'd be okay with you making him a friendship bracelet. he thought that friendship bracelets were dumb, but this seemed like something you were serious about, so he did keep that thought to himself, at least.

he just asked why you'd want to make him a friendship bracelet, and you looked at him, confused, 'you're my best friend, why wouldn't i?' and... huh. why did his heart just get really fast?

the day he moved away was the day the world began to end for him. he remembers a lot of crying. an embarrassing amount of crying, actually. he's not sure he's ever cried that hard before. but how could he not cry? he was leaving behind his only friend, after all.

you had given him that friendship bracelet, and it was awful. it was just a bit too big on his wrist, so he had to adjust it every so often to keep it from falling off, and the colors you chose for the design didn't go together. but you had made it with love, and it easily became one of the best gifts he'd ever been given.

it was hard, moving so many miles away from you. it was hard waking up every day and not heading over to your place to eat breakfast. it was hard being alone again. is this what you had felt when you moved next door to him? this aching loneliness? a feeling that not even his own brother could make go away.

it didn't help that some of the kids at his new school decided to make him the target of their bullying. it's fine, he thinks. he's had kids pick on him before, so he know how to handle it. besides, he'd always feel better after calling you, so it really didn't matter to him.

but then the main kid, randy, had the audacity to steal the bracelet you had given him. jeff, to this day, doesn't really remember what happened.

all he knows is that he saw red the moment the snotty kid tore the bracelet off his wrist, a few of the beads scattering onto the concrete. he just remembers his hands being bloody when liu pulls him off the crying kid. he remembers the police coming to his house later that day, and liu taking the fall for the fight.

he never got the bracelet back after the fight.

things only got worse after that. he felt angry almost all the time. and if he wasn't angry, he was just... unbearably sad. it was getting to the point where he didn't even want to talk to you anymore, because he didn't want you to know what was happening.

some friend he is, huh?

and when the fire incident happened... well. we all know what came after. the night he finally broke, jeff called you. there was blood on his hands, staining his clothes, dripping from the cuts on his face. he was shaking as he dialed the number of your mom's phone.

were you even awake? would you answer? why was he even callin-

"jeff?"

the loud noise in his head went quiet, and he felt like all the troubles he had felt, the act of atrocity he had just committed—and would continue to commit—none of it mattered. just the sound of your voice, of which he had deprived himself of for almost a month.

he didn't respond, he just stood there in the hallway, standing outside liu's bedroom door. but you must've heard him breathing, because you continued to speak, asking if he was okay.

jeff slowly pulled open liu's door. his brother was sleeping peacefully in his bed, unaware of the fact that jeff had just murdered their parents. your next words had caused him to pause, standing over liu's bed.

"i made you another bracelet. next time we see each other, i'll make sure to give it to you. so don't get into anymore accidents."

and he wanted to respond, but the words wouldn't come out, and then liu was opening his eyes, and jeff hung up the phone. jeff was gone by the time the police arrived, and he only had one destination in mind.

it took him longer than he would've liked, getting distracted by a few more murders and pretty much hitchhiking most of the way because everyone who pulled over to offer a ride would drive away the moment they saw his face. but in a few weeks, he was at your home. or what was supposed to be your home, that is.

you weren't there. you were gone. some random couple had taken your place. their names are on the long list of jeff's victims. it's okay. he doesn't know where you went, but he'll find you. one day, he will.

and as time went on, even though he was no longer a kid and well into his twenties, jeff found himself visiting your old home almost every year. his home was gone, burnt to the ground shortly after killing liu and his parents. your home was the closest he had to one.

you were never there. until one year, you were.

he didn't recognize you, not at first. but then he saw your name on an envelope he had snatched from your mailbox (add obstruction of correspondence to his list of many crimes) and it was like all his patience had paid off.

jeff didn't immediately reveal himself to you. he wanted to, trust me, but... he needed to know. needed to see what you had grown up to become, to see if you had anyone important in your life. like a lover. so... he stalks you, obviously. and one of the first things he noticed was the lack of keepsakes you had of him.

when he'd broken into your home while you were out at work and went through your stuff, he expected to find something of his. the cheap dog plush he'd won for you at an arcade once, or a photo, or a letter at the very least. but there was nothing.

it's like every memory of him had been wiped, and that left him feeling... angry, to be honest. did you want to forget he ever existed? did your friendship mean nothing to you? he'd almost been tempted to let his anger get the better of him and kill you, but he didn't.

as much as he didn't want to admit it, you were the one person he couldn't hurt.

instead, he hunted down your phone number and started calling you. you would answer every time, and he wouldn't talk. he'd listen. listen, and hope that maybe you'd figure out it was him.

but you never did. you'd always ask him to stop calling, ever polite, before hanging up. the cycle would repeat itself, until jeff saw you getting cozy with some guy at work.

aka, he just saw some dude chatting you up and you weren't turning his advances down. the only logical course of action was murder, obviously.

jeff held his phone up to his ear that night as he called, and you picked up almost immediately. the light in your room was on, so he knew you were home as he approached the backdoor in your kitchen.

"...jeff?"

and like that night, all those years ago, it's like everything in the world went quiet from the sound of your voice alone. he let out a sigh, something that sounded so fond, before picking up a rock and throwing it at the window of the door, shattering the glass and allowing him to unlock the thing.

pushing the door open, he can hear the way your breath hitches on the other end of the call. the glass on the ground crunches beneath his shoe as he walks inside.

it really did feel like coming home.

"you still have the bracelet you made for me, yeah?" he asks. but after all these years away from you, he thinks he deserves more than a bracelet.

you hang up. not unexpected, given the circumstances. but that doesn't stop jeff from making his way upstairs. he could hear you through your bedroom door, your voice shaking as you spoke on the phone.

you had dialed 911, it would seem.

there were tears streaming down your face by the time he opened the door to your bedroom. his heart was racing. he had been waiting, craving, this reunion for years, and it was finally happening.

you stopped speaking as soon as your gaze met his, and jeff could make out the operator's voice as they told you the police were on their way.

it's such a shame that by the time the police got there, you were nowhere to be found.

'notorious serial killer suspect in abduction of local resident. please call the hotline if you have any information on their whereabouts.'

[secondbeatsongs]

Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman

so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:

at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.

but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!

and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking

(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.

but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)

so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!

lookit that guy! he's a real guy!

both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!

Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast

the more you know!

anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:

when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.

when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!

(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)

for now: we begin

so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.

two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.

so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:

2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage

surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man

...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)

the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that

hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky

okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.

so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"

I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!

(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)

mmm, yes. very smooth

...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!

a new discovery is made every day in this house.

okay, time to start mixing things together.

ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?

(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)

okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.

lastly: the cabbage

oh. oh this is not very nice

next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?

ah. this bowl is too big.

hey, these'll work!

now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.

(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!

look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)

hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.

I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.

I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!

let's build our boy

oh he's so heavy. and wobbly

no no no he almost fell over!!

okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.

and...okay. he is complete.

behold!

gaze upon my beautiful man!

(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)

 now it's time to stab him

and...to devour him

this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.

and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.

it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.

...I don't like this!

and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(

RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.

(note from current!me: I could not.

 I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.

after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.

do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?

bad. the answer is: bad.

I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.

do not try this recipe at home)

[ranoutofficssoiwritemyown]

You decide to sleep on the couch after an argument pt.3

pt.1 pt.2 character: Caleb note: not proofread. haven't played the game since he came out so he might be a little oc

Caleb’s mind is simple: you being away from him means he can’t protect you from any possible danger. He is overprotective to the point it disturbs you and sometimes you think if it was up to him he would tie you to his side so you never leave his sight. Because you’re the safest by his side right?

Considering his possessive nature towards you, you can imagine the intensity of arguments between you two. The problem is, he doesn’t see how he’s wrong. You’re a professional hunter? You’ve lived for years without him? You’re one of the best at your dangerous job? falls on deaf ears and right now you’re so so close to strangling him. Instead, you turn around and go to your bedroom to get a blanket and pillow, because sleeping beside this obstinate asshole is the last thing you want tonight. after a minute you can sense Caleb’s presence. He yawns as he leans against the doorframe

“Whatcha doin’ pipsqueak?” His question is playful

“Oh, I’m pipsqueak again”

Caleb laughs at your sarcastic answer which earns your glare, making him mumble “Still mad I see” under his breath. Silently, you wonder if he is bothered by the argument at all. You gather everything in your arms and walk to the door and as you pass him he grabs your shoulder from behind and drapes himself over you.

“A little bit dramatic don’t you think?”

“You’re heavy, you asshole”

You grumble as you try to shrug him off but he won’t budge. Quite the opposite actually, his arms are wrapped around your shoulders tightly with his face in your neck.

“Can’t handle it? I thought you were a strong girl.”

“Do you, really? Because you act like I’m made of glass”

“Well, not glass. More like-”

You try to smack him but he moves his head to avoid it and laughs, instead catching your wrist and placing a kiss on your pulse point. Even though the gesture makes you blush, you snatch your hand back and accidentally hit his metal arm, causing you to hiss at the pain. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow as if saying ‘See?’ which makes you more furious.

He starts to say something but you interrupt.

“Let me go, Caleb. I’m mad at you and don’t want to sleep in the same bed as you”

“No”

“No?”

“Gotta keep you away from your thoughts, pipsqueak. What if you decide you want to leave me or something because of this stupid argument, hm? What then?”

You fall silent for a moment because you need to get this straight. So, he thinks that after he ‘died’ and you mourned him, thinking about him almost every day, years later you find out that he’s alive and is doing everything to keep you close, you will leave him because of an argument? Now, you doubt his sanity. On the other hand, Caleb takes your silence as a bad sign and starts panicking.

“Pipsqueak? Come to bed, please. And we can do whatever you want tomorrow. I’m yours the whole day- Hey, I’ll make braised chicken wings. You still love them right? Or whatever you want, you name it…” When he gets no answer, he drops his head on your shoulder, giving up “Okay, if you really don’t wanna sleep beside me, I’ll take the couch, just, please sleep in the bedroom.”

Finally, you sigh and lean your head against his chest.

“You won’t drop this, will you?”

He smirks because he knows you. He knows you want to give into him but your pride won’t let you. So you try to blame him. Make it look like, you don’t have a choice, so you don’t feel bad about yourself. But he’ll take it. He’ll take all the blame and allegation if it means you’ll stay with him.

“Not a chance” his voice is muffled against your neck as he pecks it, before removing himself from you and leading you back to your bedroom.

“I don’t think you’re made of glass,” he tells you when you’re both lying down on the bed and you place your head on his chest, in return, he wraps his arms around you.

“Hm?” you’re confused before you remember your earlier statement

“I don’t think you’re weak. The opposite actually, I think you’re very strong I just… I worry about you, I can’t help it. So what if you’re one of the best hunters? you’re not immortal. And when I think that there’s even the slightest chance that I might lose you again… I won’t be able to take it. So all this overprotective act is also for the sake of my sanity.” He laughs humourlessly in the end.

You raise your head to look at him. He’s already watching you with adoration behind his purple eyes. You brush the strands of hair from his forehead and place a kiss on his lips.

“I won’t leave you” You kiss the corner of his mouth “You’re crazy if you think leaving you has even crossed my mind. Now that I have you back? You’re stuck with me as much as I am with you”

There’s a faint smile on his lips as his eyes run over your face.

“Goodnight, pipsqueak"

“Goodnight, Caleb”

You both fall silent as you lay back down on his chest. However, the silence is broken by you.

“You’re making braised chicken wings for me, tomorrow”

“Absolutely” he agrees with a silent chuckle.

[motorsportbarbie13]

The Yapping Hour is Upon Us

In which Max decides that maybe doing interviews isn't such a bad thing.

Warnings: jos verstappen mention ew Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.5k plus social media posts

Series Master List Main Master List

TheYappingHour posted:

349,219 likes liked by redbullracing, charlesleclerc, and others TheYappingHour Back at it this week with a very super top secret special guest. I simply can't wait to reveal who's on this weeks pod, you guys! You're going to DIE. (peep the clue in the second picture!) user928 her podcast set up is so aesthetic i can't user0928 RED BULL??? what does this meeeeeean??? >>>user1211 she hasn't done a ton of athletes in the past, maybe she got one of the Red Bull athletes!! user00291 DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN. (shhh let me be delulu for a minute) >>>user221 as much as i'd love that, we all know how much Max hates interviews.

There was absolutely no reason why having Max Verstappen on your podcast should be making you this nervous. You’ve interviewed actual heads of state, a former president, and royalty for crying out loud and you’re losing your mind over Max fucking Verstappen? You supposed it came from the fact that you had spent most of your childhood traveling from track to track to watch your dad race in NASCAR, racing was in your blood and you knew how revered and idolized Max was. And how rabid his fans could get. You wanted to get this interview right. Needed to get this interview right. Motorsport were still a huge part of your life, even if you weren’t really outwardly an active fan. You never missed a NASCAR or F1 race and while you considered yourself a Ferrari girlie, Red Bull was most certainly your second team. 

“Everything ready?” Your assistant Shannon pokes her head in as you fluff the last throw pillow on the cream colored lounge chair. Scanning the room, everything looks to be in order. The two overstuffed chairs dominate the center of the small recording studio, each with a microphone set up on a small side table next to each chair. Instrumental versions of Taylor Swift songs floated out of small speakers tucked away and a few candles burned in the low light of the studio, creating the exact ambiance you were famous for. 

You’d been doing your podcast, The Yapping Hour, for nearly five years now and it was now one of the most popular podcasts being produced. You specialized in relaxed interviews of people that the general public don’t get to see relaxed very often. Your big break had come about 3 years ago when you had somehow managed to land an interview with Michelle Obama, her episode was still the most streamed episode of yours to date. Everyone had fallen in love with your interview style, how you got these normally highly media trained individuals to drop their guard down a little and be real for even just an hour. It gave people such a unique glimpse behind the curtain of fame and your fans ate up every bit of it. 

“I think so!” You nod, smoothing down the front of your boyfriend cut jeans even though the denim is perfectly ironed without a single wrinkle. 

“Good, because he just pulled in the parking lot.” Shannon smirks. She knows how nervous you are for this interview and is insisting it’s because you have a crush on the driver. Which would utterly unprofessional if it were true. But it wasn’t true. At all. “And he’s driving this matte black Aston Martin.” She closes her eyes as she bites her lip, smirk growing even wider. 

“Okay, let’s cool it on the hero worship.” You warn, following Shannon out into the lobby of the building. 

 Outside, it’s a dreary late April morning in the heart of downtown London. You had traveled from your home base in New York City just for this interview but had been surprised at how much you liked the ambiance and energy in the city. So much so that you had extended your stay a few extra weeks. The good thing about being your own boss of a podcast was that you could literally work from anywhere you had your laptop. 

Peering out into the parking lot, you’re surprised to see a lone figure in jeans and what looked to be a Red Bull windbreaker, hustling across the pavement towards the door. When he approaches the door, Shannons steps forward to open the door, a gust of wind whipping at your hair when Max comes bustling in through the doors. 

“Hello!” Max’s voice sends involuntary shivers down your spine, a feeling you fight hard to shove down. This is not the time to be a fan girl, you remind yourself. 

“Hi Max, thank you so much for joining us today! Can I get you some water or maybe some tea?” Shannons steps forward first, extending her hand. 

Max takes it and gives her a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Water is fine, thanks.” 

“Max, it’s such a pleasure to meet you.” You step forward then, the heels of your black Louboutain’s clicking on the hardwood floor as you approach him. It takes every ounce of focus you have not to react at what feels like a white hot spark flickering over your skin when his hand touches yours for the first time. 

“Pleasure is mine.” He murmurs, cat like smirk replacing the warm smile that had greeted Shannon. Your social media did you absolutely no justice and Max was finding it hard to keep his composure you were so pretty. 

“Are we waiting on anyone else or is it just you today?” You ask, eyes darting above his shoulder to see if there was anyone still in the parking lot. 

“Why? Will I be needing my body guard today?” He quips as he follows you towards the recording studio.  

You pray the dim lights in the studio hide the way you’ve gone pink. “Of course not! It’s just that normally the people I have on the show travel with an…entourage.” 

“I don’t like people.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious fact in the universe. “I prefer to travel solo. Besides, I’m no Queen of the Netherlands or Justin Trudeau, I don’t really need an entourage.” 

He casually drops two of your biggest interviews like it’s nothing and you feel the pink tinge of your cheeks heat to a crimson red. “You’ve listened to the show then?” 

He nods, taking the seat you offer him as Shannon and your AV guy Steve bustle around getting things set up. A bottle of water appears for each of you and you take out the pages of notes you’ve made even though you’ve got all the questions memorized. You like to be prepared and prefer your interviews to be more conversational, less question and answer. 

“I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” His eyes hold this glint of mischief that if you were less of a professional, would have you biting your lip and kicking your feet. Truth was, Max had spent an ungodly amount of time on your socials and wikipedia page, obsessing over you and your career. 

“And yet you still came.” You tease.

“I did.” He says simply and you can’t help but notice how his gaze briefly drops from your eyes down to your lips and quickly back up. It’s so quick that if you weren’t in the business of watching and observing people, you probably would have missed it. But those baby blue eyes of Max’s are so easy to read, all you can do is grin back at him. 

“Well, thank you for making the trek into London today. I do appreciate it.” 

You briefly explain how the interview is going to work, how Steve is going to make sure everything is set up and recording, how you’ll post audio and video versions and that he can have final say in anything that goes in or stays out of the interview. You’ve found that a lot of your guests appreciate that little clause and in the five years you’ve been doing the show only a handful of bits have been kept out. You like to think it’s because you’re good at what you do and get people to open up on a level that they feel comfortable with. 

Steve finally gives you the okay and you settle into the cozy lounge chair, Max sitting comfortably in the one opposite you. 

“Thank you again for joining me today, Max. I’ve got to admit, I was a little surprised when your manager said you’d agreed to come on the show. You don’t do a lot of lengthy interviews and I could only find a handful of podcast appearances over the years. So, why The Yapping Hour? Why now?” 

Max takes a sip of water before placing it on the table beside him. His shoulders are relaxed, his ankle sitting on his knee is a causal pose. You’ve become a veritable body language expert since starting the show and you can already tell this is going to be a good interview. 

“I like your style.” His blunt answer throws you off for a moment and your cheeks heat. Again. You make a mental note to make sure they edit your complexion in post production to take the blush out. “GP sent me the one you did with Dale Earnhardt Jr a few months ago and I was impressed at how authentic you were. Dale is a character but you got a lot of depth out of him. Your questions went beyond the typical ‘what’s your favorite race track.’” 

“Well, thank you. That is quite the compliment coming from you.” For the third time in a short time, you blush at the compliments this man is handing out left and right. 

Your eyes flicker above Max’s shoulder to where Shannon and Steve sit, their smug faces tell you that you’re not imagining him flirting with you. 

“I have to tell you, I went karting with a few friends in prep for this interview and oh my God, I’ve been sore ever since! I can't imagine how hard an F1 car is on your body. Talk to me a little bit about your training sch-…”

“You went karting as research?” He interrupts you, face a mask of disbelief. 

Now it’s your turn to smirk, “Of course, I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” You toss him a wink and enjoy the way your stomach flips when his ears go a bit pink. “My dad beat me by almost 20 seconds and I don’t think I’ll ever hear the end of it, but it was worth it. I can see why so many people get hooked, it was so fun.” 

“Karting with a NASCAR legend had to make it a little better though, yeah?” 

“You know my dad?” Your brows nearly hit your hairline, you’re so surprised at this. Your dad had been long retired before Max had come onto the racing scene and there wasn’t a huge overlap in fan bases between F1 and NASCAR. 

Max nods, “He was racing around the time Jos was in F1. I still remember that one Daytona 500 where he stole the win from Earnhardt Jr on the last lap after he’d led for the entire race.” 

You tilt your head back laughing and Max thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard, fully entranced by the long column of your neck that’s suddenly exposed. “Oh God, dad is going to die when he hears you know about that race.” 

“Have either of you been to an F1 race yet?” A plan begins to form in Max’s head. 

“No!" You lean forward to swat at his arm playfullt. I’ve tried a few times but it’s always fallen through. I do watch most of the races though, as long as my schedule permits. Sometimes it’s easier when you guys are in Europe because the races are so early in New York, it’s easy to watch them from bed on Sunday mornings.”

The image of you wrapped up in a fluffy duvet wearing nothing but his t-shirt as you watch him race nearly sends Max into orbit. He blinks furiously, trying to get that vision out of his mind so he can pay attention to you. 

“Tell me this then, if you could pick any garage to watch the race which one would it be and why would it be Red Bull?" 

You can’t help that laugh that explodes from you then and Max preens under your attention, smile stretching wide across his handsome face. “You know, I could have sworn it was my name on the podcast Instagram page.” You tease, giving him a wink. “You keep asking me questions, I’m going to be out of a job, Verstappen.” 

“I can’t help it when the interviewer is much more interesting than I am.” He murmurs, taking another sip of water without taking his eyes off of you.

The rest of the interview continues on for the next two hours and you get so much content you feel a little dizzy at the thought of having to cut over half of the episode. For the first time in the podcast’s history, you may have to split this into two episodes. Max doesn’t mind one bit, finding that he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be with how easy he finds it talking to you. 

You wrap up the interview over an hour past the time you had told Max’s press officer it would last but neither of you make any movement to get up, despite both Shannon and Steve beginning to wrap things up. 

“I’m so sorry I kept you this long, Max. I know you’re not a huge fan of lengthy interviews.” 

Max just shrugs, “If all interviews were like this, I probably would say yes to a lot more of them.” 

You grin over at him as you rise, realizing the sun is setting outside and your stomach is aching for food. Max follows suit, although he feels a clench in his stomach realizing that his time with you is coming to an end. 

“Can I ask you something?” He says when Shannon and Steve walk out of the studio, leaving the two of you alone. 

You look up at him and nod earnestly, “Of course!” 

“Why didn’t you ask me about my childhood? Usually it’s one of the first things people ask me, especially in these kinds of interviews.” 

You shrug, face heating at being found out. “Like you, I do my research and I figured you might not want to talk about that part of your life. I want my guests to feel comfortable when they come on the show, not immediately put on the defensive. I guess I thought there were other more important topics…” 

Your words hang in the air, heavy between you two. Something in Max’s chest aches at the simple kindness you’ve extended him. It’s true, he doesn’t like revisiting his childhood very often, especially when it’s recorded and will be put on the internet. His dad was very much still in his life, obviously, and while he had done a lot of work to move past his childhood, it was still painful to talk about.  

“Thats…wow. Thank you.” Is all he can manage, voice thick with emotion. 

“Of course.” You murmur, reaching out to touch his elbow in what you hope comes across as a comforting gesture. 

Max’s eyes drop to where your slender fingers rest on his bare arm before a smile stretches back across his face. “I know it’s kind of last minute but you were saying earlier you’d never been to a race. We’re in Miami next weekend and I’d love it if you were my guest…” 

You can’t help the flutter in your chest at how nervous he appears standing before you. Your eyes dart over to Shannon, the official keeper of your schedule and are delighted when she nods vigorously, phone in hand with your calendar already pulled up. You made a mental note to give that girl a raise ASAP. “I would love to, Max.” 

“Yeah?” He sounds almost shocked that you had agreed so quickly. 

“Yeah.” You say, a hint of a giggle at the edge of your voice. 

“How about I take you out to dinner tonight and we can work out the details.” 

“Why Max Verstappen, I had no idea you were this smooth.” 

TheYappingHour posted

987,392 likes liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, susiewolff, and others TheYappingHour SURPRISE! Part one of my interview with none other than 3 time F1 world champion Max Verstappen is live on all socials RIGHT NOW. (yeah, I said part 1! We both yapped so much you're getting a part two next week!) user9382 the chemistry between these two was OFF THE CHARTS >>>user111 ikr? i felt like i was interrupting something the entire hour. MaxVerstappen1 it was a pleasure meeting you! can't wait to see you in Miami this weekend! >>>user2999 MAX WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER IN MIAMI. >>>user999 stfu she is so coming to the Miami race?? MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN. user3210 has she ever done a two parter before??? not even the Queen of the Netherlands got a two parter!! user9928 i don't think i've ever seen Max this relaxed during an interview EVER. >>>user222 seriously! He was like a little boy with a crush then entire time.

yourpersonalinsta posted

234,100 likes liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, michelle obama, and others yourpersonalinsta we yapped some more and stuffed our faces. til next time, maxie! (tagged: maxverstappen1) user999 not michelle obama herself in the likes maxverstappen1 you're going to be trouble in miami, aren't you? >>>yourpersonalinsta what do you think? ;) >>>user9932 oh my godddddd user028 this is the couple i didn't know i needed

tag list (some of you only requested to be on a series tag list but i am not organized enough for that. lmk if you want to be removed!! also fingers crossed this tag list works this time ffs. sorry!)

@anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream

[phantomrose96]

So my mom's birthday was this week and I flew down with Patches to visit her for a few days. Patches, while a verified hater of the airport, really loves my mom's place because there are so many more closets to explore and birds to watch and cobwebs to dust with her stupid little face.

My mom also goes to bed earlier than anyone I know, so for the evenings it was on me to monitor Patches' activity. And she's very good. She's 99% good. She's 1% "could use improvement" good and the 1%, which I'd forgotten about, is tomatoes.

Patches will leave most things alone. (And by "alone" I mean she'll absolutely bitch slap them onto the floor, but they will leave the ordeal with just as many or few surface punctures as they had before the encounter started.) Not tomatoes. Patches has it the fuck out for tomatoes.

So when I noticed her batting something around on the ground I realized that my mom had left a sole, roma tomato in the fruit basket on the counter and it was now experiencing the life cycle of a pingpong ball between Patches' paws.

I take it away from her, like a fucking evil woman, and now I'm like "okay actually, where do I hide this." See at home I have an anti-Patches cabinet, which is for things that have no business living in a cabinet but which WILL have business dying at Patches' hands if left accessible. And this is WEIRD to have such a cabinet but it's my own home.

I'm scanning my mother's cabinets going "is this weird here? can the tomato go in my mother's dish cabinet?" And I briefly consider sticking it in the fridge, as a normal location, but the audacity of altering this tomato's ripening process is an audacity I do not possess. So I go with cabinet. I go with the first eye-level cabinet, which is the coffee mug cabinet, which is perfect because the tomato will not be lost to cabinet purgatory there, since my mom opens it every morning for her coffee. I will simply tell her in the morning that the tomato is there.

Next morning. Seeing as my mother goes to bed at the butt-crack of dusk she ALSO gets up at the ass-crack of dawn. This means I trail down like 2 hours after her with my work laptop and Patches. This is also now her birthday. I'm sharing the sofa with her for a good 15 minutes when I think to myself I'd like some coffee, and I remember I put a tomato in the cabinet. I tell my mom as much. I put the tomato in her coffee mug cabinet.

And the look I get is one I can't really figure out on spot. But she says "Chrissy this is the best birthday present you could have given me" which is a very weird response to the already weird statement "Oh you probably saw, but I hid the tomato in the coffee mug cabinet because Patches has it out for tomatoes."

So I do not at all know how this makes for a good birthday gift. My mom tells me how a week or two ago, she came home unloading groceries. At the end of putting everything away she could not for the life of her find her phone. Absolutely nowhere. She pinged it from her iPad and it started singing. From the fridge. She opened her fridge. Her phone was in the fridge.

A couple days later she lost Ash's collar. Spent three days looking for it. Couldn't remember where she'd taken it off or what she did with it. Showed up in the grass when she remembered she took it off to let him play fetch in the lake.

And then this morning, her birthday morning, she came into the kitchen, made her pot of coffee, opened the cabinet to fetch her coffee mug, and found... tomato. Singular. Tomato in the cabinet. Tomato she had no memory of placing in a cabinet. Tomato she could not possibly fathom having a reason for being in the cabinet.

She was like Chrissy I cried. She was like this is it, time to send her to pasture. She's a harebrained old lady now and there is no coming back from this. She's the lady who accidentally puts tomatoes in the cabinet. Awake before God, standing in the kitchen, signing her life away over this tiny roma tomato. (Roma tomato with little cat vampire teeth marks in it).

I was like oh. No. I put it there. Because Patches was going to commit war crimes against it. I put it there because I did not stop to consider "Will finding a single tomato in the coffee mug cabinet somehow be the very specific thing that undoes my mother this morning?" I put it there out of careful consideration for the life of this tomato, and with no consideration for the extremely esoteric way that a tomato in the cabinet could be received like a horse head in the bed, Godfather style.

We made a salad with the tomato. Happy birthday Mom.

[wafflefries13]

Sick Day, But Cute (Multi TWST Cast X Reader)

Summary: A magical illness is spreading through NRC, with some... rather adorable symptoms. AKA, all your friends are suddenly toddlers?!

AN: I actually ended up starting this waaaay back when I started writing fanfiction again, but sort of forgot about it and found it again recently. It's kind of at this point where I realized a lot my tics in writing. Thanks for reading! Cross posed on my AO3 TheGhostInTheKitchen.

Warnings: Fluff, platonic relationships, AFAB reader, She/Her pronouns

From “Perfect Prefect”: omg, omg, omg

From “Jacked”: What’s up? 

From “Juice”: Is there another overblot?! 

From “Aces High”: I’ve got ten madol that it’s someone from Diasomnia

From “Crocodile Tears”: As if! Diasomnia students are far too refined and disciplined for that! 

From “Eple Pie”: I’ll match that bet, Ace!

From “Crocodile Tears”: Hey!

From “Astro Boy”: What happened, (Y/N)? 

From “Perfect Prefect”: Look who I found! 

From “Perfect Prefect”: Picture sent 

From “Juice”: …

From “Eple Pie”: omg is right. 

From “Jacked”: Is that…? 

From “Aces High”: On my way! 

Despite the vast campus of Night Raven College, the group of first years convened on the Ramshackle dorm within minutes of the picture being sent. 

“Grim,” (Y/N) called out to her fireball cat monster roommate. “Can you make sure the front door is unlocked? I don’t want them busting it down like last time.” 

“Can’t you do it? I’m still scrubbing ink out of my fur!” 

(Y/N) lifted the bundle in their arms, the cause of the excitement. “Sort of got my hands full here.” 

A slam and the sound of cracking wood emanate from the front hall, followed by, “(Y/N!)” 

The prefect sighed. “Too late.”  

Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Ortho, and Sebek practically tripped over each other as they rushed into the sitting room, freezing in their tracks when they saw the Prefect and the small purple-and-white form they were cradling. 

“So,” (Y/N) said, breaking the shocked silence. “I’m guessing this is one of those weird magic things?” 

A large pair of blue-gray eyes peeked out from a mass of dark purple tentacles twisted around (Y/N)’s arms, gripping for dear life, before quickly ducking back down in hiding. The small figure emitted a small wail. (Y/N) bounced the tiny octopus-mer in their arms. “Shh, it’s alright, you’re okay, I’ve got you.” 

Jack took a cautious step forward, reaching out a nervous hand. “Is that… really Azul?” 

(Y/N) shrugged. “I mean, it has to be, right?” 

“It has to be?” Epel echoed. “What the heck happened? 

“I was hoping you guys would be able to help me figure that out. Azul came over this morning to talk about a bill someone had racked up at the Monstro Lounge.” (Y/N) not so subtly glared at Grim, who rolled his eyes and kept scrubbing at his octo-ink stained fur. “I left the room for just a second to get some tea and when I came back, boom! Baby Azul.” 

“Oh, man, this is great,” Ace snickered while pulling out his phone. “This’ll be great blackmail the next time he tries to get us into a stupid contract.” 

“Ace, wait-!” 

Before (Y/N) could warn them, Azul reared back and spit a large black glob of ink at Ace’s phone, covering his phone and hands and splattering his uniform. 

“Yeah, he doesn’t really like having his picture taken.” 

“Ugh!” Ace waved his hands, sending ink spraying the other first years with black goop. “You got a picture!” 

(Y/N) shrugged with a smirk. “Maybe he just likes me more.” 

Ortho cautiously hovered closer. “My scans indicate this is in fact Azul Ashengrotto. There is some sort of magical residue surrounding his body.” 

“You think someone cursed him?” Deuce asked. “Hey, stop!” He shouted as Ace tried to wipe the ink on his jacket. 

Sebek crossed his arms. “I wouldn’t be surprised, considering what he tries to get away with.” 

Azul started sniffling. “Hey, knock it off!” (Y/N) defended. 

Ortho tilted his head, examining Azul closer. Azul reached out a hand, fascinated by the lights on Ortho’s body and glowing hair. “I don’t recognize this kind of magical resonance from any curses,” Ortho said. “But I can research and find out! Idia might know something!” 

“What are you going to do with him?” Jack asked, poking a tentacle that was wrapped tightly around (Y/N)’s arm.

“I’m going to drop him off with Jade then let the Headmage know what’s going on. You know, see if he actually has any answers for once.”

“Mrow!” Grim yelled, frustrated, throwing down the ink-stained rag he had been desperately using to try and clean his fur. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but that octo-punk is gonna pay for ruining my perfect fur!” 

Epel sighed. “Hang on, Vil taught me some ways to get stains out. Maybe I can help. Prefect, do you have hairspray?” 

“Check the upstairs bathroom, Grim can show you. Ortho, let me know if you find anything out, okay?” 

Ortho saluted. “Roger that!” 

Sebek rubbed his chin in thought. “Lilia might know something. And if anyone can reverse a curse, it would be Lord Malleus! Ashengrotto should be eternally grateful for the future king’s assistance-!” 

“I’ll come with you to Octavinelle,” Jack cut in, purposefully ignoring Sebek’s offended look at being interrupted. 

“Deuce and I have to report back to Heartslabyul,” Ace said as the two card soldiers flicked ink at each other. “If Riddle sees us like this we’ll be on hedgehog duty for a month.” 

(Y/N) nodded. “Sounds like we have a plan, then. Let me know if anyone hears anything. Or maybe sees anymore babies.” They rubbed their nose against baby Azul’s, causing the little house warden to giggle. 

The first years all went their separate ways, Jack, (Y/N), and their squirming package headed to the mirror chamber. 

“Do you think he needs water?” Jack asked. “He’s a merman after all.” 

(Y/N) carded their fingers through Azul’s soft, fluffy hair. “I gave him some earlier and he seemed okay. I’m sure the less time out of water is better though. We don’t want any octo-jerky, do we, Azul?” They tickled him under his chin. 

Jack couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face. As many problems as he had with the cunning and scheming house warden, he couldn’t help but be reminded of his younger siblings back home. “You’re good with children.” 

The prefect blinked up at him, surprised. “You think?” 

“You’ve managed to keep a rein on that one, at least. He looks like he’ll burst out crying the second you stop paying attention to him.” 

“Hmm. Maybe I’m just spoiling him, then. That’s okay, though, right, Azul? You’re cute enough to spoil, right?” (Y/N) held him up, his tentacles wrapping tight around their arms. He made grabby hands to come back closer, giggling and basking in the attention. Jack chuckled and (Y/N) mockingly glared at him. “We never say a word of this when he turns back, of course.” 

Jack nodded seriously. “Of course.” 

“(Y/N)! Jack!” The two stopped. Kalim waved at them, jogging over with Jamil following behind. “Hi! What’s going on?” 

“I would love to know,” (Y/N) said, shrugging. 

Kalim stopped in his tracks, causing Jamil to almost crash into him, as he spied Azul. Kalim practically squealed with delight and rushed over. “Oh my gosh! How cute! Does Azul have a little brother?” 

“Not… exactly,” (Y/N) said. She quickly summarized the situation. 

While Kalim gushed over the toddler, Azul was more interested in Jamil, reaching out with his chubby hands and tentacles to try and wrap around his hands. “Aww,” Kalim said. “He remembers you!” 

“I don’t know how much of that is a good thing,” Jamil scowled, torn between jerking his hands away and indulging the mer-boy in his exploration. 

“Jamil, you know everything, got any ideas?” (Y/N) asked. 

Jamil huffed, a small smile playing on his lips. “Not everything, apparently. Some sort of curse, obviously, but other than that I’m sure you would need to do some type of testing.” 

“Yeah, that’s kind of what we thought.” 

They said their goodbyes, Kalim waving enthusiastically at Azul who really didn’t seem to know how to respond to his exuberance. 

The trio arrived at the mirror chamber, stepping through to Octavinelle. The temperature immediately dropped several degrees due to the water surrounding the dorm, suspended in the air around the building and walkways. The light took on a cool blue tint, interrupted by the shadows of fish darting through the water. (Y/N) often wondered if the dorm was actually underwater or if this was some sort of illusion to help the mer students that made up the majority of the dorm feel more at home. 

“I have to admit,” Jack said, looking around for either of the Leech twins. “The more I think about leaving Azul here, the more nervous I get.” 

(Y/N) shrugged. “Jade is good in a crisis and Floyd is surprisingly gentle with kids. Plus, they were all friends when they were little, maybe Azul will recognize them or something.” She frowned in thought. “Although, now that you mention it, I do suppose this would be a perfect opportunity to take advantage of.” 

“My, I didn’t realize you had such a low opinion of us.” (Y/N) and Jack jumped, spinning to face the Ocatvinelle vice-housewanden. He was smiling slyly but wiped away a fake tear from his eye. “And here I thought we had built a trusted rapport.” 

“Depends on the crisis, maybe,” (Y/N) said. “Or the potential reward.” 

“Ooh, are we talking about rewards?” Floyd slid next to (Y/N), throwing a causal arm around their shoulders. “Not sure if it’s worth the effort, but I’ll take-” He cut himself off, eyes growing wide. He jerked forward, putting himself nose to nose with the tiny octo-mer. “No way, no way! Jade, check this out!” 

“Oh dear,” Jade said, stepping forward. He actually looked surprised for once. “Isn’t this a blast from the past?” 

Azul let out a small wail as Floyd started poking at him and tugging his tentacles. (Y/N) smacked his hand. “Hey, cut it out! Poor thing is having a hard day.” 

“What exactly happened?” Jade asked. He chucked as Azul puffed up his cheeks in annoyance. 

“We were hoping you might have an idea,” Jack said. 

“He showed up at Ramshackle today normal, then, well… I didn’t see when it happened.” 

Floyd snatched Azul out of (Y/N)’s arms, ignoring their protest, and held him high up. “Aww, aren’t you a cute little guppy? Maybe we should just keep you like this for a while. You don’t yell at me nearly as much!” 

Azul puckered his lips in a now familiar motion. “Floyd, look out-!” (Y/N) tried to warn.

In the next second, Floyd’s face was covered in black ink. Jack and (Y/N) froze in tense anticipation. Floyd blinked before his sharp toothy smile split across his face. He burst out laughing, cuddling Azul, who was writhing in a desperate attempt to escape. “You haven’t done that since we were kids!” 

Jade gently pried Azul away from Floyd, using a handkerchief to dab away dribbling ink from Azul’s face. “Perhaps I should bring him to our swim tank. Floyd, would you mind grabbing  a pot and lid from the Monstro Lounge kitchen?” 

Floyd frowned. “Aww, but if he hides I can’t pinch his big cheeks anymore!” 

“That’s exactly the point.” 

(Y/N) took a step back, worry about Azul’s condition and care growing smaller but not disappearing completely. “I’m going to go ask Crowley if he has any idea what’s going on. I’ll let you guys know once I know something.” 

Jade waved a hand. “Please, take your time. I think we’ll have a fine time together, won’t we, Azul?” 

“Uh, yeah, we’ll leave it to you guys, then.” (Y/N) ruffled Azul’s hair. “Bye, buddy. I’ll see you soon and hopefully we’ll get back to normal.” 

Floyd hummed thoughtfully. “Hey, how much do you think he’ll remember when he turns back?” 

As Jack and (Y/N) left Octavinelle, Jack decided to go back to Savanaclaw. “I’ll ask Leona if he has any idea about this, too. He may not like putting effort into things, but he is probably one of the most talented mages here.” 

“Sounds good. Thanks for your help.” They parted ways and (Y/N) headed back to the main school building to talk to Crowley. Heading up the stairs, their phone rang, #CayCay showing up on the caller ID. “Hey, Cater, what’s up?” 

“Uh, hey,” Cater said, slightly panicked, although he was clearly still trying to sound carefree. “Ace and Deuce were with you earlier, right? Were they, uh, okay?” 

(Y/N) blinked, a nervous churning settling in their stomach. “Yeah? Ace kind of got, uh, in a mess, but they were okay when they left. What happened?” 

“Oh, you know, it’s probably fine, Riddle’s looking into- No, wait! Deuce, don’t put that in your mouth!” 

The line suddenly went dead. (Y/N) spun back down the stairs and sprinted to the Heartslabyul mirror portal. 

Stepping through the mirror portal into Heatslabyul immediately assaulted (Y/N) with the scent of roses laced with sugar. Much brighter than Octavinelle, it was more confusing in its layout, with twisting paths that often doubled back on each other and confusing topiary walls. But (Y/N) was able to beeline to their destination, following the alarmed yelling. 

“I’m here, I’m here!” She said, sliding into part of the garden where they often held unbirthday parties. “What happen- oh.” 

(Y/N) had gotten used to the sight of a younger Azul, but the child Ace and Deuce sent a whole new wave of confusion and dread through them. The two of them were wrestling, getting grass stains on their uniforms with cake smooshed on their faces.  Cater cooed from a distance safe from cake splatter taking pictures with his phone. 

“(Y/N)! There you are!” (Y/N) turned to greet Trey but froze. He held a small, scowling redhead child. 

“Oh. Oh, no.” 

“That’s not an inaccurate read of the situation,” Trey said, chuckling as the little Riddle yelled at Ace and Deuce to stop roughhousing and getting dirty. 

(Y/N) quickly explained the situation that had happened that morning with Azul. “They were fine when they left! It wasn’t even an hour ago.” 

“We’re not sure what happened either,” Trey said. “Another student came to get me a minute ago. He said Riddle was lecturing Ace and Deuce for getting their uniforms dirty with ink, however that happened,” (Y/N) gulped and looked away. “Then there was a crash and they were just like this.” 

(Y/N) sighed and put their hands on their hips. “At this point I kind of just accept this magic nonsense can do anything.” 

“Have you asked any of the teachers about it yet?” 

“I was heading to Crowley when Cater called me. Hey, Cater, did you see- Oh, come on.” Cater had now joined Ace and Deuce playing on the lawn, albeit in a much younger form. He tapped the screen of his phone hard, seemingly taking more delight in the random colors and shapes than the actual function of anything. 

“Alright, this is getting ridiculous. Come on, Trey, let’s bring them to the Headmage, or the infirmary at the very least. Trey?” (Y/N) closed their eyes, taking a deep breath. “If I turn around and you're a kid, Trey, I think I just might scream.” They opened their eyes and looked around. Riddle and a tiny Trey, with glasses too big for his face, were hiding under the white metal table in the garden, playing cards. “Okay, fine, it’s too cute for me to scream. But I’m still very annoyed.” They snuck their phone out to get a couple of quick snapshots of the Heartslabyul children. Thoroughly documented for future reference, and future embarrassment, (Y/N) leaned under the table. “Riddle, sweetheart, can you help me get everyone in order? We’re going on a little field trip.” 

Riddle jumped up to attention, tiny face set in determination. He raced out, corralling Ace, Deuce, and Cater over to (Y/N). Ace and Deuce raced around their legs before Ace tripped and fell. His eyes started to well up with tears. (Y/N) quickly leaned down and swept him up in their arms. They decided to ignore how Ace stuck his tongue out at Deuce. Compromising by holding Duece’s hand, she lead the small group back through the mirror portal to the Headmage’s office. 

She had to use her foot to kick open the door. “Crowley, we’ve got a problem.” 

“I am perfectly aware of the situation! Oh, it appears I am not perfectly aware.” 

(Y/N) stopped to take in the chaos of Crowley’s office. Not only was a tiny Vil with perfect posture scolding a roughed-up-looking Epel with Rook, his hat engulfing his now little head, tugged on Vil’s sleeve for his attention, but a small Leona was curled up in a patch of sunlight snoozing. A young Ruggie was sneakily going through drawers on Crowley’s desk, and a child Jack was gently petting a tiny charcoal kitten with a forked tail and blue flames coming out of his ears munching on cookies. A toddler Jamil was hovering over a small and smiling Kalim who was drawing with markers on what looked like important school paperwork. Although, there was more drawing on his and Jamil’s skin than the actual paper. Possibly most surprising, however, were the three pre-teens and an exhausted-looking teenager around the room. They also looked concerningly familiar. 

(Y/N) blinked, setting down Ace and Deuce who rushed off to play with a rambunctious Epel. “Professors? Coach? Sam?” 

The much younger Professor Crewel huffed and put his hands on his hips. “If one more person calls me ‘professor’ I’m going to scream.” 

“Come on, Divus!” The younger, but still surprisingly buff, Coach Vargus said. “Have an adventure! This isn’t all bad!” Vargus fell on his back, scooping up Kalim and Cater who were running around and used them as press weights while the two giggled. A young Sam was listening very intently to Vil and Rook’s conversation, even if most of it was incoherent babbling. 

“So,” (Y/N) said hesitantly. “That would make you…” They looked at the person who had been reduced to around their age. 

“Mozus Trein,” He said matter of factly. He held Lucius, still a full-grown cat who looked even bigger in the young boy’s hands. “I take it I am a teacher here as well?” 

“Uh, yeah. You don’t remember?” 

He sniffed. “I can’t exactly remember something that hasn’t happened to me yet, now can I?” 

“So you all have just always been like this. Okay, cool. Crowley?” 

Crowley looked up from playing with Deuce, who was fascinated by the former’s mask. “Hm? Oh, yes, well, as near as I can understand, there seems to be some sort of magical virus curse. It’s spread through contact, so our best bet of minimizing effect would be to enact a quarantine.” He lifted Deuce’s hands in celebration. “Sleepover! Yay!” 

(Y/N) rubbed the bridge of their nose, feeling a headache coming on. “Okay, I get how that might have happened to these guys, but what about the professors?” 

Crowley waved a hand. “Bucci came to my office earlier with Kingscholar and Howl. Immediately sensing the issue at hand, for I am intuitive and precise, I called forth our faculty to help round up any other signs of infection. Although, it seems our virus is more contagious than I first thought.” 

(Y/N) scratched behind the kitten Grim’s ears. He blinked up at them with large blue eyes and let out a tiny, “Mew.” (Y/N) felt their heart melt a little. 

“What about me?” She asked. “I’ve been in contact with everyone who’s changed but I’m still fine.” 

“I would assume the virus spreads through magic,” The young Professor Trein said. “If you have no magical ability, you’re cut off from the method of infection.” 

“It also appears not all of us have been reduced to the same age,” Boy-Professor Crewel added. “It probably has something to do with how old we all were originally, cutting back by a set number of years.” 

“And any idea how long it will last?” (Y/N) asked hesitantly. “No idea!” Crowley said, with not nearly enough seriousness that the situation required, lifting Ruggie into the air, his pockets bursting with various office supplies he had plundered from around the room. 

“Oh, man,” (Y/N) groaned. They jerked back to attention. “Oh, man! I left Azul with Jade and Floyd! If he’s patient zero he’s probably spread the infection already!” 

Crowley nodded. “It would be imperative to retrieve them, as well as anyone else infected. We’ll meet in the gymnasium until we have a further understanding of how long this should last.” 

“Alright, I’ll go get them and- Wait! Sebek! He was heading back to Diasomnia! He might have infected someone else. I’ll check there then- Really?”

Now, a boy about fifteen in a long feathered coat with a black bird mask bounced Ruggie on his knee. “Hmm? Did something happen?” 

“Don’t worry,” Professor Crewel said, even if it felt strange calling him that when he appeared so young. “We’ll take care of it. We’ll meet you in the gym.” 

(Y/N) nodded. “Alright, team, we’ll all meet up in an hour at the gym. Coach Var- uh, Ashton? Can you stop by the kitchens to ask the ghosts to make us something for dinner? If we’re all quarantined we won’t want to stop by during rush hour in the cafeteria. Sam, check out the infirmary and grab blankets and anything else that’ll make spending the night more comfortable. We’ll work on a more permanent solution tomorrow. Mozus, Divus, and Crowley, I’m trusting you three to keep all the kids in order and get them to the gym safely.” 

“Go, Team, go!” Ashton shouted, encouraging the other children to cheer. He swept the sleeping Leona up, who growled and kicked at the older boy. 

“Go, team,” (Y/N) echoed weakly. 

Nervously leaving the group to migrate to the gym, (Y/N) made their way back to Octavinelle to see if the, admittedly kind of funny and cute, virus had spread further. On their way across campus, (Y/N) pulled out their phone and fired a quick text to Ortho. 

From “Perfect Prefect”: What are the chances you haven’t made it back to the dorm yet? 

From “Astro Boy”: Poor! I’ve been back for 23 minutes and 15 seconds! 

From “Perfect Prefect”: And I’m guess Idia is a lot smaller now? 

From “Astro Boy”: Picture sent 

(Y/N) tapped open the attached picture. It was a selfie of Ortho, his eyes twinkling brightly in enthusiastic excitement. He held the phone up high, capturing the image of him holding a toddler sized Idia practically swimming in his already oversized jacket. The tiny Ida had tears pricking the corners of his large yellow eyes, clutching a soft purple demon-looking plush.

From “Astro Boy”: Now I’m the big brother! 

From “Perfect Prefect”: Crowly says it’s a virus. I’m guessing it’s a safe bet that Idia hasn’t been around anyone recently? We’re quarantining in the gym till we figure this out. 

From “Astro Boy”: I’ll bring games! 

(Y/N) jogged back to the mirror chamber, bursting through the portal back into Octavinelle. She did a quick sweep of the Monstro Lounge, interrogating a few confused student-waiters, then headed to the dorm proper. Nothing in the main lobby, a few clusters in the study room, just drying clothes in the laundry room. She just about missed the kitchen, swerving so hard she thought she might have given herself whiplash as she turned. 

There was a crowd of Octavinelle students, dressed in their crisp lilac and black uniforms, standing in a rough circle, looking at something on the floor. She just caught the end of a flailing green tail as a student reached down to touch the wiggling mass. 

“Don’t!” She yelled, causing the whole ensemble to jump. She steadied herself with her hands on her thighs, breathing heavily now that the adrenaline had caught up with her. “Don’t,” She said again. “They might be contagious.” 

The gathering flinched away as (Y/N) made her way to what they had been surrounding. There was the familiar sight of the squirming Azul, cheeks puffy with a pout and crossed chubby arms. His tentacles were all tangled up with two long string-bean eels, fluctuating their bodies like ribbons on the linoleum floor. Even as children, mirror opposites of each other, it was pretty easy to tell who was who from their actions. Floyd has wrapped himself around one of Azul’s many limbs, gnawing at one. Jade is also wrapped in his tentacles, but it looks like he draped them over himself. He chatted at Azul in a mixture of child-babble and what sounds like local mer dialect. (Y/N) squatted down, hand covering her mouth, as she contemplated the situation. Azul spotted her, raising his arms up and looking at her in a way that made her heart clench. Floyd and Jade matched his pose, their cries more delighted and excited than Azul’s worried ones. 

“Alright, come here,” (Y/N) said, gathering the trio of slippery mer-babies in her arms. “I don’t suppose you guys have a tank around here somewhere? And maybe a trolley or wagon?” 

The, still confused but helpful, students rushed around. After a few minutes, two of them carried a large fish tank between them, another pulling a small black flatbed cart behind them. (Y/N) loaded the kids into the tank, having to tug and pull to extract them from their tight grip on her, Azul leaving little circular suction marks on her hands and arms. With a hand on her hip, she pulled the faucet from the sink and filled up the tank. 

She gave her number to a couple of third years who had stepped up in a semblance of a leadership role, telling them to text her if anyone else came down with symptoms. After reassuring the Octavinelle students, as much as she could considering she herself was trying not to panic, (Y/N) pulled her new load out through the mirror portal to the gym. 

She felt a splash of water on the back of her head, turning to see the three of them ducking back down into the water, giggling mischievously. “Uh-huh,” (Y/N) said, wiggling her fingers at them. “I see you.” No sooner had she turned back to start walking than another cold splash of water soaked her head. She whipped back around, jumping near the tank with a big smile and hands up in claws, much to the shrieking delight of the small children. Even Azul had started to smile, laughing along and swimming around with Floyd and Jade. 

(Y/N) saw Ortho flying across campus, a thick dark blue bundle securely in his arms. A Premo branded canvas back was slung over his arm, packed with board and card games, and a few gaming systems and cartridges. She called his name and waved, Ortho stopping to wait for her to catch up. 

“Let me see, let me see,” (Y/N) said. Ortho was just as giddy as he held up the small toddler. Even when he was young, Idia still had his long fiery blue hair. His bright yellow eyes were huge in his puggy face, cheeks looking like he was hiding giant marshmallows in his mouth. He blinked up at the two of them, face scrunching up before sneezing. His hair flared for a second before sighing and rubbing his face. (Y/N) and Ortho both ‘aww’ed as Idia tried to hide by burying his face in Ortho’s glowing chest. 

“Think you can take care of these guys, too?” (Y/N) asked. “I still need to check on Disomania. I’ve tried texting but haven’t heard anything back from them.” Ortho saulted, taking hold of the flatbed handle. The three tiny mers splashed, trying to catch the glowing reflections of Ortho’s and Idia’s hair on the water. 

(Y/N) had to run interference back on her way to the mirror chamber for the umteenth time that day. By that point, most of the campus had heard about the magical virus, and the rather adorable symptoms. She reassured them that yes, they had everything under control. Yes, they were keeping track of who was affected. Yes, classes were canceled for the rest of the day. Yes, it was all going to be solved pretty soon. Probably. 

She paused back in the mirror chamber, taking a second to catch her breath. Steadying herself for whatever trouble she would find in the Thorn Fairy’s dorm, she pushed through the Magic Mirror. She blinked in the diminished light, the sky perpetually covered by threatening storm clouds. The dorm loomed over her, reminiscent of some twisted gothic cathedral. The interior did nothing to diminish this facade, all marble floors, large arched windows, and dark stone walls with green fire sconces. 

“Psst!” (Y/N) stopped in the strangely empty common room, looking around for the hissed whisper. “Psst! Prefect! Over here!” A first year was frantically waving to her from his hiding behind a massive tapestry.  Now that she was paying closer attention, she was able to pick out more and more students, trying to dart between hiding places to make their way through their own home. 

“What’s going on?” (Y/N) asked. “Did you guys hear about the virus?” 

“Virus?” He repeated. “No, I just wanted to warn you that you need to be careful. Vice-Housewarden Lilia is - Ack!” He cut himself off, darting off and slamming a door behind him down the hall as he escaped. 

Brow furrowed, (Y/N) turned, freezing just as a cold razor sharp edge met her throat. Her eyes traveled from the jade colored oversized cleaver down the arm that held it up effortlessly, to the familiar yet strange face of the person who held it. It certainly looked like Lilia, for the most part anyway. The same large ruby eyes, now narrowed and sharp, the same mouth with fangs peaking over the edge to bite into his lower lip, pulled into a frown, the same bi-colored hair, now much longer and a deep red pigmentation instead of the soft pink. 

(Y/N) put her hands up and tried to look as non-threatening as possible. “Lilia,” She said, willing her voice not to shake. “I know you’re probably confused right now, but I-” 

“Quite, human,” He snapped, to which (Y/N) immediately obliged. “You’re not going to try and confuse me more than I already am.”

“Okay, yeah, sure. But, and this may surprise you, this is not the first, nor probably the last, time I’ve been in mortal peril, so the effect has kind of lost its edge. Present company notwithstanding.” She pushed away the massive weapons with one finger on its slicing edge. 

Lilia scowled and pushed the magearm back. “I said quite. I need to think. One minute I’m in the Briar Valley overseeing training and the next I’m… wherever this is.” 

“Night Raven College, if that helps.” 

Lilia scoffed. “I told you all I wouldn’t accept your enrollment invitation. Does such a ‘prestigious’ school resort to kidnapping now?” 

“I wouldn’t put it past them, really.” 

“Listen here, human-”

“Papa!” 

Both of their eyes snapped down. A small boy with silver-white hair was tugging the hem of Lilia’s shirt, rubbing his eyes with a tiny fist. He reached up, grabbing at the air. “Up, up!” 

Lilia looked from the small Silver back to (Y/N) several times before renewing his scowl. “What is this? Some kind of human trick? You use children in your schemes now?” 

“I think he just wants you to hold him for his nap.” 

“Listen you-”

“Papa?” They both looked down again, Silver’s arms still extended, waiting. His tiny, cherubic face has started to crumble, lips wobbling in confusion, tears gathering. 

Lilia hissed in a sudden breath. Taking a step back, he leaned down, keeping his eyes and weapon trained on (Y/N), and scooped Silver up with one arm. He cradled the boy close to his chest. Silver sighed contently, wrapping his chubby arms around Lilia’s neck and snuggling into his chest. 

“I-” Lilia started, trying to regain some of his bravado despite the napping toddler he was gently holding. 

“Silver!” A boisterous voice echoed down the stairs. “Where’d you go? We gotta keep training so we can defend the Briar Valley! I’m gonna win this time, just watch!” He tripped down the last few stepped, falling hard on his knees. 

“Sebek!” (Y/N) called, taking a step to him before being cut short by Lilia rushing forward. 

Sebek sniffed loudly, pushing himself up, face turning red at the effort of keeping his tears at bay. 

“There now, soldier,” Lilia said, kneeling down. “A warrior of the Briar Valley must keep his composure in the face of battle, yes?” 

Sebek looked up and gasped. He jumped up to attention, retrieving the fallen play sword he had dropped. “Yes, sir, General Lilia, sir!” He said, saluting. 

Lilia chuckled, ruffeling Sebek’s hair. “By any chance, young one, you’re not related to Baur Zigvolt, are you?” 

“Is Grandpa here? I’m gonna show him how strong I got! Look, look!” He exaggerated flexing. Noticing Silver fast asleep, he frowned, an impressively frustrated look for such a small boy. “Silver! You’re sleeping again!” 

“Nooo,” Silver whined, burying himself further in Lilia’s chest. 

Sebek kept jumping up to tug on Silver’s shirt until Lilia set him down. Sebek immediately grabbed the still sleepy boy’s hand and dragged him away, waving his sword at the various still hiding Disamonia residents and talking about all the adventures they were going to have. Lilia watched them wreak havoc, a small content smile making its way on his face without his noticing. 

He schooled his features back into stoney fury when (Y/N) sidled up next to him, clearing her throat. “So, I bet you have some questions.” 

While Lilia was skeptical about (Y/N)’s explanation, he was more acceptable to going to a more secure location. They went to the gym, Lilia holding Silver’s hand in one of his, his large magearm slug over his other shoulder. Sebek kept watch in front of the group, jumping and swinging his sword and marching while promising to protect them and become a great knight. The sun had dipped below the horizon, casting the campus in warm gold and pink light, stretching shadows along the pathways. 

(Y/N) pushed open the doors of the gym, the clatter and cacophony of excited children immediately pouring out. Ortho was playing some high energy kind of children’s music from his built-in speakers, flashing colorful lights to the beat. Jamil and Cater were dancing, holding hands and spinning around and around until they got so dizzy they collapsed in a fit of giggles. 

Idia was sitting in front of the water tank, a board game laid out in front of him. Azul had his face pressed closed to the glass, pointing to indicate his moves for the game. Frustrated at a move Idia, who smirked triumphantly, made, one of Azul’s tentacles shot out of the tank to aggressively move his piece, crossing his arms with a self-satisfied smirk. 

On the other side of the tank, Riddle and Trey were throwing a ball between each other then into the tank where Floyd would whack it with his long tail sending it carrining back out of the water. The two other boys would squeal and run around, trying to catch the ball and smack it back up before it touched the ground. 

Jack was sitting with his back against the tank, a large seek-and-find picture book open on his lap. Jade was leaning half way out of the tank, occasionally dipping back down to look over Jack’s shoulder. Jack would lift the book up for Jade to get a better look at and they both would point out the various hidden objects. 

Vil was sitting on his knees, braiding Leona’s hair. Leona’s tail twitch. He snapped his teeth at Vil’s  hands. “Stop!” Vil said, commanding even as a child. Leona nipped again, half-heartedly. Vil huffed, fists on his hips. “Stop!” Leona rolled his eyes, yawned loudly, then rolled over, letting Vil continue unbothered. 

Rook, Kalim, Ruggie, Epel, Ace, and Deuce were all involved in an intense game of freeze tag, supervised by Vargus. Seeing the newcomers, Ace cheated and broke his freeze by running over to them, grabbing Sebek and Silver’s hands and pulling them into the game. Sebek yelled in protest but made no attempt to avoid joining. Silver waved goodbye to Lilia before tagging Epel back into the game. 

Sam and Trien were at a makeshift cooking station, a couple of portable food warmers under disposable aluminum foil trays, dividing up dinner of spaghetti, garlic bread, and a thrown together salad to try and pretend they were being healthy. This idea was quickly dismissed as Sam took off the cover of a tray of thick fudgy brownies. Kitten Grim would jump on the table and try to shove his face into the trays to get an early bite, only to be gently pushed off, where the process would repeat almost immediately. Crewel was rolling out mats and sleeping bags in another corner of the gym, rolling his eyes at Crowley who was giving some dramatic speech. 

“This…” Lilia started. “Isn’t exactly what I imagine Night Raven College to be like.”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said. “Usually things are more on fire.” She couldn’t help but smile at Lila’s baffled expression. 

She started counting heads, rounding up each dorm as the children all gathered together to get their dinner. She frowned, her suspicions confirmed. 

“We’re missing one.”

“Hmm?” Crowly said. “I can’t think of anyone else.” 

“Yeah, that tracks. Sit tight, I think I know where he is.” 

A wind has started to blow across campus, twirling fallen leaves and casting a chill across (Y/N)’s exposed skin. Soon, the gloomy facade of Ramshackle dorm loomed on top of the hill. She opened the old iron gate, scanning around the yard. And there, just like she knew he would be, was a young boy with black horns. 

He was staring up at the eaves and roof of the old house. To anyone else, it would have looked like he was watching the appearing stars in the sky, tracking constellations. But (Y/N) knew better, matching his gaze to the various gargoyles arranged around the dorm. She ducked inside, grabbing a quilt from one of the couches in the sitting room. She draped the blanket over his shoulders, crouching down next to him. He didn’t look away, only moving to clutch the quilt tighter over his slight frame. 

“They’re pretty cool, right?” (Y/N) said. 

“I like that one,” Malleus says, pointing to a gargoyle on the corner of the roof, crouched like a frog with stone wings forming an umbrella over his head, mouth open in a ghoulish grin. 

“I call him Clyde. He doesn't really work anymore though.”

“Oh,” Malleus said, disappointed. 

“Robins build their nest in his mouth. A friend of mine helped me block off the drain pipe so the birds wouldn’t get flushed out without hurting the statue. He really likes gargoyles, but we both thought the sacrifice was worth it.” 

“Oh,” Malleus said again, more intrigued. “Are there babies?”

“Yup. They’re all bald with big eyes and their mama will swoop at your face if you get too close.” She replicated the swooping motion with her hand, ending with a boop on Malleus’s nose. 

Giggling, Malleus points to another beastial gargoyle. “What about that one?” 

“That’s Fredrick, but we call him Freddie. See how he’s facing that other one on the other roof? She’s Isabella and they’re hopelessly in love. A little while ago, they had a fight and Isabella turned around. Which was kind of a problem because then all the water she was draining away went right into the second floor bathroom. It was a really cold shower.” She exaggerated shivering, rubbing up and down her arms. 

She continued pointing out the various sculptures around Ramshackle dorm, retelling Malleus all the stories and facts the older version of him had told her what seemed ages ago. The child Malleus would occasionally cut in with facts about gargoyle construction or history, enthusiastic to be sharing his precious information with a fellow gargoyle appreciator. 

“You know,” (Y/N) said, the two of them sitting on the lawn, fireflies gently floating around them. “I met a gargoyle that could talk once.” 

He gasped, jolting up on his knees. “Really? Where, where? What did it say?” 

“Well, we were kind of in the middle of something important when we first met. But after we got all of that sorted he was really nice! He lived in a big bell tower that looked over the whole city and told us all about his friends who lived there. He had one friend who was really sad, and being sad made him angry. But the gargoyle helped us understand what his friend was feeling and helped us make everything better. And now we’re all friends! I think so, anyway. Not sure if Rollo would agree if I asked him…” She trailed off, speaking the last part mostly to herself. 

Malleus sat back down. “I don’t have many friends,” He said in a small voice. “The palace is really big and there’s not a lot of people in it. Do you think he’d be my friend too?” 

Imagining the scowl Rollo would probably give her for her answer, (Y/N) smiled and said, “Absolutely. I can be your friend, too, if you want.” 

“Really?” 

“It’s a promise. And I know some other people who would want to be your friend, too. They’re with Lilia in-”

“Lilia is here?” Malleus jumped up, eyes wide and smiling. “Where, where? Did he go traveling again? Did he bring me back a present? He brings me flags from all the places he’s been! They’re called, uh, they’re called…” He frowned, thinking hard. 

“Pennants?” 

“Yes, pennants!” 

“Well, I don’t know, but he’s at a party right now and wanted me to come get you.” She could practically see the stars in his eyes as he hopped up and down. She stood, holding out her hand. “Come on, we don’t want to be late.” 

He grabbed her hand, pulling her down the road. “Come on, come on! It’s rude to be late when you’re invited somewhere!” 

She laughed at his eagerness, despite not knowing exactly where he was going. Suddenly, she felt her skin prickle, like she had just been hit with a blast of cold air without the actual temperature change. “Hornton, I mean, Malleus, what-” Before she could say another word, they both were encased by a shimmering yellow-green light, vanishing and reappearing several feet down the road. (Y/N) felt a wave of vertigo at the sudden teleportation, not extremely dissimilar from when she went through the mirror portal for the first time. 

After a few more overly excited teleportations, and (Y/N) gently redirecting them back in the right direction a few times, the duo arrived back to the gym. Malleus was hopping up and down in anticipation, but froze when she pushed open the door. His wide eyes darted around to each group playing. 

“What’s wrong?” (Y/N) asked, kneeling down to him. 

“What if they don’t like me?” He said in a small voice. (Y/N) felt her heart break a little. “What if they’re scared of me?” Okay, now her heart was fully broken. 

She turned him so they were face to face, taking his hands in hers. “Malleus, it’s okay to feel nervous. A lot of new things can seem pretty scary at first. I know I was really scared when I first came here. But you know what? The people I met here are my best friends in the entire world. They can be prickly and stubborn and rough around the edges. But they’re also brave and generous and kind, even if they won’t admit it out loud. You’ll never find a better group of people to go through a storm with.” 

Malleus squeezed her hands back, setting his face with determination and nodded once. 

“There’s my brave prince. Come on, I know just who to introduce you to.” 

The bed area that Crewel had so deliberately laid out earlier had been torn up. Blankets and pillows were stacked high in two barriers facing each other across the gym. The tiny pillow fort soldiers raced behind their barricades in oversized t-shirts and sweatpants as improved pajamas.  

“Hey, there,” (Y/N) said, stopping Kalim running by with a touch on his shoulder. “Now what kind trouble did you all get into while I was gone?” 

“We’re having a pillow fight!” Kalim said, clutching a bright blue seat cushion to his chest. 

“It’s a war!” Epel yelled from his side of the barricade. 

“Floyd threw a ball at Azul and Idia’s game and Idia’s hair went all ‘whoosh!’ and that woke up Leona so Leona stole the ball and popped it, and then Riddle got mad and tried to do his collar anti-magic magic on him but he missed at hit Vil and that made Rook sad so he tried to pull the collar off but it wouldn’t work, so then Jack tried to pull it off cause Jack’s much more stronger but it wouldn’t work and he let go too fast and he hit Sebek, so now we’re all at war!” Kalim said all in one breath. 

“It’s not a war!” Epel yelled, waving two pillows in the air. “It’s a massa- a messacu- a massecure - you’re gonna lose!” 

Pillows and balled up blankets started flying like snowballs. As the puffy projectiles flew, one veered off course, smacking right into Malleus’s stary-eyed face. 

Everyone froze. The pillow seemed to be stuck to Malleus’s face for a few comical seconds before dropping, revealing his blank expression. A slow, eerie smile stretched across his chubby child face. 

“Ah, so this is how other people play, is it?” He said. He started to hover several inches off the ground, discarded pillows rising up around him, surrounded by a holographic green light. (Y/N) could have sworn the lights started to flicker. “Then, let’s continue with the game!” 

Levitating pillows flew through the air, zipping around like homing missiles. The children shrieked and laughed as they dove for cover or tried to swat away the projectiles with their own pillow weapons. Ace dove in front of Deuce to block and attack, Deuce dramatically falling to his knees to hold Ace’s overdramatically ‘dead’ body after. Jamil stood in front of Kalim, wielding two pillows like nunchucks to bat away incoming pillows. Kalim just jumped up and down, clapping his hands in joy, not noticing Jamil rolling his eyes. Ruggie was taking advantage of the bedlam to sneak past the teen chaperones, who weren’t doing so much chaperoning as taking bets as they watched. Ruggie pulled down the tray of brownies, snickering as he darted off to enjoy his spoils. Azul was at the top of the tank, head whipping back and forth to follow the attacks. Rook threw a pillow at him, smacking the octopus mer before it got waterlogged and sunk in the tank. Azul’s face started to crumble and he sniffed, holding back budding tears. Floyd and Jade zipped to the side of the tank, rearing up and spitting out two streams of water. Rook cried out at suddenly getting wet, running in circles. Idia had climbed up on Ortho’s shoulders, who was flying above the fluffy carnage. 

Leona jumped up, grabbing a pillow midair, sinking his teeth into it and shaking until stuffing started to pop out. He spit it out, holding his own pillow aloft as he pointed at Malleus with all the authority and bravado of a decorated general on the battlefield. 

“Charge!” He yelled. 

“I’ll protect you, my liege!” Sebek shouted, he and Silver jumping in front of Malleus, one pillow held out like a shield and another above their heads like a squishy square sword. 

(Y/N) picked up kitten Grim, scratching under his chin as he purred. She sat crossed legged next to the professors and Lilia. “So, I think it’s going pretty well so far.” 

Lilia was staring at Malleus, who cackled in delight at the retaliation. “He…” 

(Y/N) nudged him with her elbow. “He looks just like his mom, huh?” 

“His-?!” He relaxed, smiling fondly. “Yes, he does.” 

After the battle, which would be spoken about in legends for generations to come, finally petered out, (Y/N) started gathering the exhausted children to the bathroom to brush their teeth. Trey darted between sinks, double checking that everyone was flossing as well. Back out in the gym, they all climbed into their makeshift beds, snuggling down and yawing wide. 

“Wait!” Deuce called out as (Y/N) stood up. 

She knelt back down next to him. “Yeah? What’s up, bud?” 

Suddenly bashful, Deuce crumpled his blanket in his hands. “I, um, I need a good night kiss! My mom always gives me a good night kiss and makes sure I’m all tucked in so the monsters can’t get me!” 

“Hey!” Ace said, jumping up. “I want a kiss, too! Cause of the monsters, nothing else!” 

Soon, all the kids were back wide awake, clamoring for attention and kisses. 

“Down, down!” Crewel shouted. He sighed in frustration. “Honestly, you’re all like overexcited puppies.” 

(Y/N) laughed as the kids grumbled back to their beds.”Don’t worry, I’ll make sure no monsters get anywhere near you.” She knelt down, kissing the top of Deuce’s head. Deuce blushed, diving under his blankets, pulling them tight over his head. Ace huffed, crossing his arms in the pinnacle of frustration. (Y/N) kissed the top of his head too, and he turned red, hiding his face in his pillow. 

(Y/N) made her rounds, saying good night to everyone individually, giving them a kiss on the head or cheek. Some were excited, Cater, Ruggie, Kalim, and Floyd, while others were more bashful, Riddle, Azul, Idia, Epel, and Sebek. When she kissed Rook’s forehead, he jumped up, saying, “Plus! Plus!” She peppered his chubby cheeked face with more kisses as he giggled victoriously. Silver was already asleep, curled up on Lilia’s lap, but sighed happily as she pressed a kiss to his temple.

“What a strange human ritual,” Lilia said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “I… I suppose I should participate as well, shouldn’t I?” 

(Y/N) laughed. “Of course, general,” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. He stiffened and turned his head to hide his blush. 

“Leona?” She asked, kneeling next to the lion prince’s bed. “Do you want a good night kiss, too?” 

“Hmph,” He said. “I don’t need it. I’m too big for that baby stuff.” 

“If he’s giving up his share,” Malleus said, tugging on (Y/N)’s arm. “I’ll gladly take it instead.” 

Leona threw himself across (Y/N)’s lap. “No! You can’t give the lizard more than you give me! (Y/N)’s mine!” He tried to roar, which sounded more like an angry wet cat than the king of the jungle. 

They each grabbed one of her arms, tugging viciously. “Okay, okay! Don’t worry! You both can get as many good night kisses as you want.” 

“Me first!” Malleus said. 

“No, me first!” Leona countered. 

“Easy, boys, no need to fight.” She took their hands, putting them together palms facing her, then kissed them both. Leona’s ears flicked up and back, tail whipping around, forcing himself to look indifferent despite how much he obviously cared. Malleus just beamed. She kissed each of their foreheads and tucked them back into bed. 

Finally, with everyone satisfied with their kisses and tucked in, (Y/N) turned off the lights in the gym, leaving one on in the far corner to act as a night light. She scooped up Grim, cradling him in her arms, and slipped into her own bed.”Good night, everyone.” 

There was a sleepy chorus of “Good night,” before silence filled the air, interrupted only by soft snores. Cuddling Grim close, (Y/N) closed her eyes and let all the exhaustion of the day drag her down into sleep. 

(Y/N) was woken abruptly the next morning by a pillow being thrown in her face. She let out an “Ouf” as Grim, now full sized again, jumped out from her hold and off her stomach to escape getting hit. She sat up quickly, just in time to catch another pillow being thrown. 

“I said get off me!” Jamil said, shoving a confused and bleary eyed Ruggie off from on top of him. 

“Why am I soaked?” Azul said, wringing out his shirt as a pool of water formed around his, Jade, and Floyd’s feet, the water tank overturned next to them. 

Around the gym, everyone had reverted back to their normal ages, untangling themselves from their flat beds and trying to recollect the events that led them there. The professors had also reverted to their previous size, spilling out of their own beds they had quickly outgrown. 

“I guess none of you remember what happened yesterday?” (Y/N) said. 

Jack rubbed his temples. “Something about a virus? I think? And…” He trailed off, looking over at Azul and lowering his voice. “Why do I want to call Azul cute?” 

“Ack!” Cater yelled in surprise. “Why is my phone all sticky?!” 

“Forget your phone!” Grim said. “Why are there ink stains on my beautiful fur?!” 

“Oh, don’t worry,” (Y/N) said, standing with a mischievous smile. She pulled out her phone, opening up the photos app. “I took a very detailed record of everything.”

[koobiie]

bestowing my highest honor as an artist to ffxv (drawing the characters in fun outfits)

thoughts under the cut

RREAAAGHHHH SO EXCITED TO BE DONE WITH THIS!!!!! it took me forevarrrr but i soldiered through as an act of love. now excuse me. yap time

OKAY SO the concept behind this was originally specific fashion subcultures for everyone!l ike noct emo ignis dark academia etc. but then decided i didnt want to pigeonhole it all and just freestyled outfits i thought would look nice on everyone

noct - i do think noct would still be emo-ish but also opt for comfy baggy stuff a lot. something you could just fall asleep in on the spot. note the details of bass pro shop shirt (of course) XV necklace, little moon + stars accents, carbuncle + fish keychains. i also wanted his metal band logo shirt to spell LUCIS but i forgor some letters but its not very readable anyways

ignis - ignit ooohghh ignos ignaurs. sorry i made him serve so much cunt it will happen again. i drew him first cause that kind of inspired this whole thing i love him so bad if i didnt draw it id explode. not much detail to note except his collar pins are like his double blade thingies

luna - lunaaa the concept was “clean girl aesthetic” idk if that happened but im actually really happy with how it came out! might be my favorite of the bunch just because she looks so pretty and happy. your honor she should have been able to just be a normal girl and just. chill

prompto - prompotoooo i had trouble picking his vibe!!! my first thought was techwear?? because weeheeeehee he loves tech and well... you know... but then i realized i didnt really like the look of anything i saw + it was so bulky and dark and serious for him! ending up going with some more youthful and baggy. i was considering something more loud and colorful but ended up not going with it. i feel like in canon he'd be too nervous to have such a flashy fit and would want to just look "cool" to fit in with the boys lol. itty bitty details here - chocobo keychain, pompompurin and bi miku buttons, and his lanyard is kings knight themed! i also thought it was funny to write LUCIS on his shirt like you know those shirts that just say BROOKLYN or TOKYO or SAN FRANCISCO and thats it. thats what its like

gladio - okay i know this is going to sound like a lie but im not horny for gladio like at all, hes my least favorite, i think he's just alright. but also i KNOW in my heart of hearts that he would LOVE being a leather daddy and so i had to make it happen. main detail to note here is that his tank top has the motifs of a cup noodle! i didnt know what else to add cause you know.. hes the cup noodle guy.. but also i didnt want it to be so in your face about it with a big as logo so kept it subtle!

(side note the leather daddy gave me an idea for a post where its like noct and prom go to a gay bar all nervous but then they run into gladio and its like "p: GLADIO YOURE GAY?" "n: nevermind that PLEASE dont tell ignis we snuck out" and then ignis walks up and theyre all like WHAT THE FUCK!!!! caption would be "the gang finds out theyre all bisexual." probably wont draw it but i think its very funny lol)

iris - iris my sweetheart.... definitely leaned into the scene vibes here and also that one image of the blonde emo anime girl. details here - of course the moogle big ass backpack and keychain (can you tell i love keychains), but also her buttons are an iris (the flower) and also a crown with hearts (haha symbolism)

anyways oh god i didnt mean to write an essay down here. usually i keep this in the tags but this time i just had Too Much To Say. can you tell i put a lot of thought and love into this . anwyays. *walks off into the sunset and fuckig dies*

[theoryofwhatnow]

i suppose it’s no different from the fans who watched the film strictly because of tom sturridge and extend no further interest towards it beyond that. there’s a clear difference and divide between people who appreciate a movie for an actor versus the film itself, but such is true for practically any film-fandom.

regardless, everyone is welcome as long as they remain respectful.

does anyone else feel the disconnect in like minds fans between those who joined through eddie redmayne in day of the jackal and those who found the film through other means like i don’t know what it is but i can feel the difference in my bones

[golden-redhead]

I think there's a lot of signs pointing to Jayce actually doing the right thing ...or at least the right thing based on the information available to him at the time.

We can't know for a fact just how much Viktor was changed and what his healing was doing to the people who came to him in the long run, but considering all the hints dropped by the writers, the situation is much less clear than we think. Obviously, everyone's first instinct is to condemn Jayce and his actions, especially because Viktor is one of fan favourites, but looking at the teaser for the next Act and what little we know about what happened to Jayce, I think it might have been necessary evil.

I think this scene of Viktor temporarily 'possessing' Salo in order to talk with Jayce points to just how fucked this little community that Viktor created actually is. There's a reason why everyone's getting those 'it's a freaking cult' vibes.

This scene made me more uncomfortable than anything else this season and I think it's clear that it was meant to make feel that way. There's something so uncanny about Viktor's voice coming out of Salo's mouth, especially paired with that look on his face and how Viktor seems to be able to see and experience things through him in this moment.

And then there's also the issue of all these people dying a horrible drawn-out death as soon as Viktor himself 'dies'. Yes, they came to him on their own, they asked to be healed, but did they really know what they are getting into? Did they know this is what might happen?

Some of them were already dying, true, but Viktor healed all kinds of people, some of whom most likely had their whole lives ahead of them. He, knowingly or not, inevitably sped up this process. Not all of them were consummed by Shimmer-addiction or permanently disabled like Salo.

And then there's also the fact of all of them basically abandoning their previous lives to serve Viktor and his community. Which, okay, makes sense, there's certainly a parallel with the community that Ekko created for Zaunites to keep them safe from Piltover and Silco's plans. They made an informed choice, though, and I don't think the same can be said about Viktor's cult-like commute.

They seem peaceful, yes, but also devoid of personality and entirely dedicated to Viktor and his cause. Of course, it can be explained by gratitude towards him and desire to be kept safe in a calm and peaceful environment, but it's taken to such an extreme point that it definitely crosses the line into uncanny territory in my eyes. Their hivemind behaviour is very unsettling and even though Viktor seems to frame his recent actions as some kind of greater good, I don't think it's necessarily true.

We have yet to find out what Jayce saw and who's in the right and who's in the wrong. Either way, as usual when it comes to Arcane, it seems to me that more than ever, everyone's a victim of the circumstances and tragedy spares no one.

Considering that Viktor is set up to be 'reborn', I can't help but wonder what it means for his community and if they will also be brought to life by whatever connection they have with him. It would be a fascinating choice given how Viktor's arc has always been about autonomy and making your own choices.

Arcane, it's been a pleasure having my heart torn out of my chest by you. Can't wait for the last Act.

[mayasaurusss]

hey how are you? could you write jinx x reader? something like jinx taking the reader's virginity. thanks ❤️🫰🏻

My favorite piltie

A/N: Hello! I am okay anon, thanks for asking! Just a bit sad that tomorrow Arcane will end😭.

I want to make it clear that I tried to do this before the next act drops, so I wrote it in two days and some things might not be very good, but I hope you will enojiy it nonetheless!!

Contains: female reader, detailed description of a wound, smut. All characters are 20+ years.

2,8 K/4 pages

When Jinx came knocking at your door tonight, you didn't think you'd end up in this position: her hands gripping at the skin of your chest and with her head buried in it.

The beginning of your night had kicked off with a strange twist when you heard a knock on your fifth floor appartment's window. You gulped down your fear and with a fast beating heart, looked past the window's glass to see a crouching figure with bright pink eyes staring at you. Any other occasion and you would have died on the spot, but you knew who she was. As soon as you opened the window, the figure let herself in, crawling out of the darkness and into the light of your room. "You are so nice letting me in, piltie" she said, and you don't miss the venom laced in the last word she spoke. "Your people aren't really known to be kind" her long fingers mess with the many little trinkets displayed on your shelves, checking their mechanisms and turning their gears.

"What do you want, Jinx?" you can feel a tingling sense of anger inside your skull at her continuous teasings.

You still remember the first time you had seen her, running from enforcers and covering her wounded shoulder.

You knew how ruthless they could be, especially since Miss Kirramman had taken control over the city. In a strange turn of events, you had found her curled up in one of Piltover's abandoned alleys and brought her with you to your home, taking care of her for the next few days until you found your window open and the blue haired criminal nowhere to be seen. During that time, you grew fond of her and were sad when she disappeared. Some weeks had passed and your life continued to flow normally, until she showed up at your door again. You were actually kind of amazed by the fact that she managed to sneak inside the appartment's building without being noticed, but after the third time, when someone called the enforcers on her, she had begun to climb on the building's exterior and knock at your window instead.

"Oh nothing, just wanted to pay a visit to my favorite piltie" she falls back on your bed, sizing you up from head to toe with that smirk of hers that makes your heart beat faster. "That's all?" the mattress dips under your weight as you sit next to her, always keeping your eyes on hers. "Mhmm, maybe" she fishes something from a bag -one you've just noticed- and shakes it: a small glass globe filled with water and fake flakes of snow. The tallest buildings of Piltover reflect the warm lights of your room, making the city of progress look ethereal under the glass. But it wasn't the shiny buildings or the snowflakes that got your attention, but a small name made with metal and gear parts glued to the bottom of the globe. "No way...is this a real Valdiani?!" the shock in your voice makes Jinx's heart flutter, something that she has never experienced before.

She lets out a proud snuff of air from her nose, pushing her chest outwards, "Consider it a gift for my fav- shit!" the sudden swear catches your attention and you look over to see Jinx doubled over. "Jinx! What is going on?!" It's faint, but you can see her hands wrapped tightly around her left side, traces of blood seeping from between her fingers. "Oh shit! Jinx what happened?" she lets out a breathless chuckle, her skin suddenly far paler than normally. "Hah, just some gift the bluebellies have given me" she sucks in a breath when you move her hands, biting a scream away. A deep wound runs along her side, pus forming where her skin had been pulled back from the slash, bleeding red on your covers. You run outside of your room and collect gauze, antiseptic, healing creme and a glass of water.

"Here, bite this" you hand her an old cloth, which she promptly places in between her teeth. "Ready?" she nods, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. The heat of your hand is the only thing that brings her comfort. She isn't ready though when you pour the liquid over her wound: it feels like billions of needles stinging and burning her flesh, making her want to vomit.

"There there, it's over..." you quickly dry her skin and massage the healing cream on her, finally finishing when you cover her stomach with the gauze. She releases a huff of relief, mindlessly tangling her fingers with yours. When the pain subsides, she realizes how close the two of you are. You on your knees, her panting and sweating, how close you are to her and how fast her heart is beating. It would take a second, just a second for her to reach for your lips and melt into you...

"Uh... I- uh, just-, what happened?" you try to not sound too shy but your voice gives your feelings away. "I..." Jinx's throat bobs and it seems that she'd rather curl herself up like a hedgehog than admitting whatever she did. "You know, the usual. Went on a walk, stormed a shop, stole some things, got the enforcers called on me and..." she gestures towards her side, "...this happened".

Jinx isn't clear with her words, but something about the blush on her skin hints at the fact that there may be something else underneath her facade. You might try at least, right? Reaching for the glass globe, you twirl it in your hands, watching the snowflakes fall on Piltover. "Jinx...did you get chased after stealing this?", she doesn't answer, but her shy silence is enough for you.

"Why? Why do this for me?" she pouts her lips before answering, still held back by some sort of pride. "W-what can I say? Anything for my favorite piltie...".

A heavy silence fills the room, of the kind that is difficult to bear.

You can't believe it. You just can't believe that she'd be so reckless, so stupid! It's difficult to bite your anger back, but you do so, and instead of crying or screaming or scolding her, like Jinx thought you were going to do, you just hug her tightly against your chest. Your grip is so strong against her that she feels like she'll choke on it.

But you are so warm in comparison to her body, so, so warm. For the first time in a while, after Silco's death, after Vi's betrayal, after everything went to shit, she feels like she can breathe. And so she does, inhaling your scent in between, tasting it on her tongue. When you pull back, Jinx's eyelids are heavy with want, her mouth slightly open and her skin red.

It takes a second for her lips to push against yours, for her hands to come up and grab your face and pull you down towards her. The kiss is surprisingly tender for it to be Jinx's: you expected teeth and tongue, not pecks and soft touches. The way she sighs and runs her hands on your chest has you keening for her. "Jinx..." a small line of spit connects your lips, and before you can say anything else, she wipes it off on your bottom lip and sighs, "You know what piltie? I think I deserve something too".

Blinking at her a couple of times, she groans at your naivety and continues while taking your cheeks in her hand. "It has been a hard day for me: running from enforcers, bleeding all the way here... I think I deserve a gift too".

And that's where you are now, naked from the waist up with Jinx on your lap, diligently taking what's hers. The way her tongue teases your nipple is something to die for. It seems all her softness has died with the kiss you shared before, now tugging and biting every part of you. You gasp as she bites your nipple, leaving the indents of her teeth on the delicate skin.

"If I knew I could see you all shy and fidgety-" she tugs your left nipple with her long fingers, smiling cruelly when tearing a gasp from you, "...I would have done this earlier". Her lips leave your right nipple, spit chilling the skin, before she teases both of them with the point of her fingernails, moving and tickling them.

Jinx lets out one of those cruel laughs of hers before diving right back on your nipple, giving it one last kiss and moving towards your stomach. She kisses and strokes every one of your scars, every mole or freckle, every inch of skin, until she comes across the hem of your pants. "N-No wait, Jinx..." you place your hand on her forehead, strands of blue hair falling in between your fingers. She halts immediatley at your discomforted voice, billions of little alarms going off in her head and an attentive yet scared look in her eyes. "What is it?".

"I... I have to tell you something" and with that, her heart beats faster and faster and that obnoxious voice inside her head speaks; 'You've hurt her' and 'Look at what you've done' and 'Did you really think she would genuinely like you?'. But your voice is stronger than theirs. "Hey? Is everything alright? We don't have to do this" in the meantime, your hand cups her cheek, thumb stroking at the pale skin. "Yeah I- I am okay. And I want to" her own fingers close in on you and she takes a moment to breathe. Your own warmth is one of the only things that can make her calm. When the voices blur away and only you and her are left, she opens her eyes again, your reflection sharp inside their pink. "What do you have to tell me?" now it was your time to take a breath, because knowing Jinx, she could have two reactions over your news: making fun of you or absolutely losing her shit. "I... I am a virgin".

She takes a moment to process the information and then lets out a wheezing laugh, making blood rise quickly to your face. "That's it?! I thought I accidentally hurt you or something!". The only thing you can do at this point is pout and look away offended. "Oh come on toots" her hands take a hold of your face before turning you to her, who is smiling softly and with tenderness. "I am just kidding. Don't be so moody. And besides..." she captures your lips, biting and licking and sucking until they darken, leaving a faint trace of blood where her teeth were, "...It's so fucking hot".

The descent to get to her prize is tedious and long, but Jinx can't help but want to savor each one of its steps. Her fingers finally hook on the hem of your pants and pull down, revealing your naked thighs to her; the only thing stopping her from claiming her prize is the fabric of your underwear. "Wait a second..." despite how cute you look to her, Jinx rolls her eyes at yet another one of your attempts to stop her. "What, toots? You don't want me to fuck you?" your eyes widen when she so bluntly says that, without an ounce of embarrassment on her face, but continue. "What?! N-no I want to....it's just that..." you eye Jinx's position on the floor. "The wound might be painful if you crouch... I don't want you to hurt yourself".

"So, what do you want me to do?". You look back between Jinx and the plush, comfortable bed, a lightbulb popping off on your head. "Lie on the bed", you say, making Jinx blink a few times before processing and understanding your intentions. "Ohh, I didn't take you for the kinky type, toots". She crawls over the bed, making sure to look as alluring as possible, then lies down with her head pressed on one of your pillows. "There. Do you like this more?" the way that she's so smug about it, with that stupid smirk of hers, makes you want to choke her to death.

"Shut the fuck up", you follow her, placing yourself on each side of her head, feeling her hands rise on your tighs to curl on the soft fabric she so wishes were to disappear. "Hmhm, alright" she eyes the patch of cloth that has begun to show a wet stain, images of what she is going to do to you already flashing in her mind. But this position prevents her from sliding them off without you having to move away from her, and she'd rather keep you and your pussy here. "You know, as much as I love how cute you look with these..." you only have a brief moment to see a malicious glint in her eyes, before she tears your underwear apart, leaving you naked in front of her "I'd much rather have you bare". "Jinx! I just told you to shut up!" it doesn't help that she doesn't mind you and whistles loudly, making you feel more and more embarrassed. "And I -shut up!-. And-and those were expensive! Do you know how-!" but all your words die in your throat when she, with a strength you didn't know she had, pulls you flat against her mouth.

She licks your clit like a starved woman, like it will be the last meal she'll ever have. She doesn't dive right in your pussy, instead takes her sweet time to torture you, making you wish she'd just fuck you already. "Jinx...please, I-" she opens her eyes to see you above her, naked and panting with pleasure, something she only ever dreamt of seeing.

She can't say no to her favorite piltie. Her cold hands grab your ass, propping you up in a new angle on her face so you can't move, but she can do everything she wants to. She spends the next minutes milking your pleasure out of you, before pushing one finger slowly inside of you. You gasp in pain at first, a small trickle of blood wetting your skin and her fingers, and after a few minutes, feeling need arise from the depths of your guts. Jinx's eyes widen when she first feels you move atop her fingers, riding them messily; and she already has a new idea. "No, none of that toots" with her left hand, she yanks your hips down on her fingers, preventing you from moving further. Her next words feel like ice cold water on naked skin; "I won't make you cum if you do it again" and as if that wasn't bad enough, she emphasizes her point with a trust of her fingers. "You will be a good girl, won't you?".

"Yes, yes, yes I will be a good girl..." her smile is all you see before she disappears underneath your thighs. As soon as you get used to the alien feeling of her fingers inside of you, her pace is unrelenting; fast and hard, torturing your clit with her lips. She takes your hips and places your slit directly onto her tongue, forcing you to grind down on it. When you start to wheeze from her touches, she decides to move onto the next phase of her plan. "Hey baby, get up a sec" you would rather keep on grinding on her tongue, but comply anyway. You get up, putting ditance between your slit and her mouth, but while you do, she directly shoves in her fingers, making your legs almost give out. With her other hand she pushes you until your ass is flat against her lap. "Come on, bounce" you don't let her repeat herself twice, already fucking yourself on her fingers at the best of your abilities. What she's seeing is far better than anything she could have ever dreamt of: her favorite piltie bouncing up and down her fingers, eyes heavy and panting above her. And your movements on her own crotch only make her feel more and more euphoric. Oh, if only she could feel you... When she curls her finger on that spot that has you keening, you finally come undone; finger intertwined, billions of stars exploding beneath your eyelids and electricity coursing through your veins. You collapse on her, skin against skin, puffing and gasping for each breath. Your whines reach Jinx's ears and right now, she wants nothing more than to tear orgasms upon orgasms from you, but she'll have to wait.

You roll over, taking a place near her on the bed, shivering from the intensity of your first time. And when Jinx, with a horrifyingly both sweet and sadistic smile turns to you, excitement clear on her face, your pussy clenches around nothing and your blood turns to ice. "So, wanna go again?"

[innerfare]

I Love You - Part 1

Summary: Who says I love you first? How do you say it?

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, Kid

Genre: Fluff

CW: None // SFW

——— 

Luffy: He showed it first, asking you to join his crew, making sure you had a safe and healthy place to be yourself, fighting anyone who stands between you and your dreams, saving his funniest jokes until you're around to hear and giggle at them, even going so far as to share a little (really, only a little) bit of his meal with you, but you were the only who actually said it first. He gets severely injured after a nasty fight, and you stay by his side while he sleeps it off like he normally does, though it takes him longer than usual to wake up. When he does finally wake up looking for you and something to eat, you fling yourself on him and tell him how much you love him. You didn’t intend on confessing, but you were so worried about him and the words fell from your lips as soon as you knew he was okay. Your brows are still furrowed, and when Luffy asks why, you voice your insecurity that he doesn't feel the same way. Luffy just laughs at that and ruffles your hair. “Of course I do.” With that, he crawls out of bed in search of food. He quickly falls into the habit of telling you in the morning when you wake up, and it fills you with so much joy, it’s like he’s giving you a happy vitamin to start your day. And saying those words bring him so much joy that saying them is like he's taking a happy vitamin, too.

Zoro: To your surprise, it was Zoro who said it first. Though Zoro seems the type to bottle up his emotions, he’s actually not, he just doesn’t seem emotional because he’s really good at dealing with his shit. And he knows all too well how temporary arrangements can be, how quickly life can be snuffed out, how easily the people he loves and cares about can be taken away from him. So one late night when he’s alone in the shower, washing his hair (using Nami's expensive shampoo and conditioner because she left it in the shower and Zoro just uses whatever's within his reach) and thinking about you, he realizes how he feels, and he doesn’t even consider not telling you. He climbs into bed afterward in just his boxer briefs, his hair still damp and smelling extra good, shakes you awake, kisses you a few times, and mutters that he loves you in your ear before passing out, not even waiting for you to say it back. He doesn’t say it often after that because he doesn’t thinks actions matter more than words, but he always says it when one of you is injured or after an argument. 

Sanji: Sanji technically confesses first, but you’re the one who actually says those three words. He’s holding your hand in both of his, clutching it close to his racing heart, as he looks down at you, telling you all the ways you make his life better, all the things he’s looking forward to doing with you, all the energy he’s going to put into keeping you happy, healthy, and safe. And the words just sort of fall from your lips. He stops mid sentence, eyes wide and mouth open. The seconds drag on in silence before he’s pulling your lips to his. Both of you are very generous with these three words, saying them often and in public. If you ever hang up the transponder snail without telling him you love him, he’s calling you right back to make sure everything is alright. (Also, not really relevant, might do a separate post about this, but Sanji is definitely a heart-shaped jewelry sort of guy. He just is. Certified lover boy.) 

Ace: Your first, more implicit confession came one night before you two were ever in a relationship. You noticed he was a little off and saw him slip away from the crew as they were drinking the night away. You found him sulking by the water and sensed he was hurting, especially when you asked to say and he told you he’d rather be alone. Before you leave, you tell him, “I just wanted you to know that I’m happy you’re alive.” You had no idea that it would strike a nerve, just got the feeling he needed to hear it, and this was confirmed by him grabbing you by the wrist as you walk away and pulling you into his arms. You continue finding implicit ways to tell him you love him such as, “I think the world is a better place with you in it,” and, “I’m so glad you were born,” and Ace is never really sure how to respond, but he soaks your words up like they’re sunlight and he’s a plant. This culminates in him blurting those three words out one day when you’re sitting in a tree together, Ace avoiding your eyes for fear you’ll reject him. When you lean in and kiss his cheek, instead, he almost cries (and he does when he’s alone later on, your love the purest thing he’s ever known). 

Sabo: Sabo is always taking risks. He lives a dangerous lifestyle as the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army, and on top of being one of the most wanted criminals in the world, he is an incredibly reckless individual who thrives when his life his threatened. He does not, however, thrive when your life is threatened. So accustomed to being the one others are fretting over, so used to Koala telling him off for taking this risk or making that dumb decision, he is completely blindsided by the anxiety he experiences when he finds out you’ve been captured. Naturally he launches a rescue attempt, and when it succeeds, he wraps you in his arms and tells you how much he loves you. He always makes sure to say it after that, telling you in the morning when you wake up and at night when you go to bed together, the memory of not having you there to hear it all too fresh. 

Law: Law is pretty bad with words, and, for lack of a better term, he sort of lacks a bedside manner. Needless to say, this carries over into other aspects of his life, including his love life (or lack thereof; Law has little to no experience in this arena). One afternoon, though, the two of you are fighting because you want to accompany Law somewhere and he insists it’s too dangerous despite all of your qualifications and skills as a fighter. You keep pressing and pressing, demanding to know why he won’t let you go when you are perfectly capable, until finally he blurts it out. “I love you! Alright? And I won’t lose you.” You aren’t even in any sort of relationship at that point, the two of you just sort of stewing in unresolved tension. His irate confession is the tipping point, and you become an item after that. When you hear it from him after that, it’s always in private, usually in the late hours of the night when he slips into bed and buries his face in your neck. Other times, it’s when you two pass each other in the hallway aboard the Polar Tang and he catches your hand in his, placing a warm kiss on your knuckles, muttering the words, and moving along quickly for fear someone might see despite the entire crew knowing about your relationship. 

Kid: You say it first. You say it a couple of times, actually, before you ever hear it back. You’re sitting in his workshop watching him build something, and you just sort of blurt the words out. You swear Kid hesitates before picking up the next piece of metal, but he gives no real acknowledgment you uttered those three words. Knowing exactly the sort of man he is and not expecting to receive anything in return, just wanting him to know how you feel in the moment, you aren’t actually offended, but you are wondering if he didn’t hear you. So, the next day in his workshop, you say it again, once more receiving no response. The third time you say it to him, catching him while he’s painting his nails, you receive a grunt in response (Kid is a man of grunts, not a man of words). Only in the heat of battle do you hear it back. He catches you around the waist and picks you up, and you fight thinking it’s an enemy, only for him to say, “I love you,” in your ear before deflecting a canon ball headed straight for the two of you and then setting you on your feet like nothing happened. From that point forward, he’ll say it, but only at inopportune times.  

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[spencerreidenjoyer]

giddy up | spencer reid x reader

Spencer gets shot in the leg. You help him feel better about it.

wc: 1.7k, rating: explicit/18+

tags/warnings: s5/jesus hair reid, established r/s, reader and spencer are both switches, riding, grinding, frottage, porn without plot, fluff and smut actually

a/n: was thinking about writing jesus reid/crutches reid for a long time and this was the only thing that came to mind. I am only a little sorry about it. (also find this fic on ao3!)

Of all the things Spencer could complain about after having been shot in the leg, not being able to fuck you properly is something you definitely did not consider.

You’d been worried sick when Penelope had called you, when Spencer had woken up after surgery. You were the first person he’d called for.

No unnecessary pressure on the leg, the doctor had said. Spencer was to use crutches at all times until the doctor cleared him. You don’t remember the rest of the doctor’s instructions, at least not now, when Spencer’s doing much better. He’s just been cleared to walk off his crutches, but he still has a slight limp in his step and starts to wince when he’s on his feet for too long. He hasn’t healed completely, but it’s enough to put you at ease being around Spencer, not having to worry excessively about him. 

While you know he’s grateful to have only gotten shot in the leg and not somewhere more risky, Spencer’s got a mouth on him, which leads you to where you are right now:

“I’m so tired of not being able to fuck you,” Spencer groans. 

You’re lounging in bed with him when he says this, and you whip your head around to look at him, shocked at his sudden admission. “Damn. What’s the matter, baby?”

“I just–” Spencer huffs in the middle of his sentence, like he needs to find the right words. It blows his hair out of his face. It’s cute, but what he says next is filthy in comparison: “I miss fucking you. Properly. Not just handjobs.”

“I thought you liked my handjobs, babe.” You pout, pretending to seem upset. “And my mouth.”

“I do!” Spencer is quick to correct you, insisting, “I like all of that, but it just doesn’t feel the same.”

“As to when you’re buried inside of me?” You whisper, resting your hand on his chest, giggling when Spencer turns red. While he was no longer the innocent, virginal nerd you’d met him as, sex talk still flusters him from time to time, and you love to fluster him.

“Baby,” Spencer whines at your teasing. “I’m serious. I miss making you feel good too.”

“You’re good with your hands, though,” you swoon, mind drifting. “And your mouth. Really good with your mouth.”

You think about Spencer asking you to sit on his face for the first time. Neither of you were exactly used to the position, Spencer typically preferring to be between your legs when he went down on you. But the way his tongue was expertly flicking at your clit, slipping into your hole, making you feel so good until you were making a mess of his face, your slick everywhere–

“Hey, focus.” Spencer taps your cheek, and you puff your cheeks. “I want you to feel good too.”

“I know, pretty,” you hum, letting your thumb trace his jaw. “I think I have an idea.”

Spencer quirks a brow in attentive curiosity. You, getting up from laying next to him, swing your leg across his hips. You sit down squarely on his crotch. 

Spencer’s eyes widen. “O-Oh.”

“Let me make you feel good, baby,” you coo. Spencer nods hurriedly. 

Spencer looks up at you with wide eyes, roaming all over your body but unable to leave it. He watches you roll your hips into his crotch. He lets out a pitiful whine. You feel him hardening between your legs already. You grind against him like this, solely intent on working him up. You know this kind of pressure isn’t enough for Spencer, pleasure dulled between layers of fabric, so you aren’t surprised when Spencer asks, “More, please?”

You smile. “Poor thing.”

“Please, darling,” he exhales. 

“Okay,” you hum, climbing off of him so you can get your shorts and underwear off. His eyes are so big as he stares at you, all of you, like he’s still surprised that he gets to see you undress. You laugh, and snake your hands into the waistband of his pyjama pants. You push them down, until his hard cock springs up, bobbing against his stomach. You meet Spencer’s gaze, before pressing your cunt to his cock.

You both gasp, feeling each other’s warmth. You’re so wet you know you must be making a mess of Spencer right about now. You don’t slip him inside of you just yet, instead grinding your bare pussy against Spencer’s length. You can’t imagine how it feels for him, but you see the way his face is scrunched up in pleasure – what you’re giving him is not entirely enough. You know he misses sinking into your wet heat, and you’re just giving him a taster, sliding his cock along your slick folds, pressed against your leaking hole.

“Spencer,” you moan, rocking your hips harder. It feels so good, Spencer’s hardness against your cunt, the tip of his cock nudging at your clit every time you press your hips down. It’s too much yet not enough, both you and Spencer needing that sweet relief, the feeling of his cock pressing into you. Still, you want to drag it out for him, and you grind your pussy against him some more. “You feel so good, baby.”

“It would feel better if you let me fuck you, darling,” Spencer grunts with gritted teeth. You can tell he’s desperate, his hands antsy by his sides, nails digging into his palms. 

“Mm, not yet,” you hum, feeling a little bratty, enjoying the feeling of building tension, growing arousal between the two of you, between your legs. It’s heaven grinding against Spencer like this.

And maybe you’re too wet, or Spencer is too convincing, because by some act of God, when you roll your hips down against him again, the head of his cock is breaching your entrance, and you moan when you feel his tip pressed inside of you. “Oh–!”

“Fuck,” Spencer moans, long and drawn-out. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

You can’t blame him, since you’d put a stop to sex with Spencer as he recovered. You’d only started giving him handjobs and blowjobs once you were sure an orgasm wouldn’t break him – “I promise an orgasm won’t hurt. It’ll be fine. I’m a doctor.” “You’re not a medical doctor, idiot.” – even then, penetrative sex was off the table.

Until now, as Spencer’s cock pushes deeper inside of you, and the rolling of your hips only serves to remind you just how good Spencer feels. You’ve missed this, his thick cock pressed inside of you, splitting you in half, filling you up until you don’t know anything other than his name. 

“Spence,” you whine. “Feels good.”

“I know, darling,” Spencer groans. “You feel tighter than I remember. Wetter too.” 

He sounds so nonchalant saying these things, and that only serves to drive you more insane. When did he get so confident, so cocky? You want to say something witty but you can’t find the words. Spencer just continues, almost bored to the untrained ear, but you know Spencer’s barely keeping himself together, “So, are you going to ride me or not?”

You grumble, your thighs flexing as you push yourself up, shifting from a rolling, grinding motion to bounce on Spencer’s cock instead. You don’t think you’ve done this before with Spencer, always content letting him get on top, so the new angle makes the both of you a little crazy. He moans, and so do you.

Like this, Spencer’s cock fucks you deeper, harder, the weight of your bouncing thrusts driving him into you until you feel positively ruined. You cry out, desperate, “Spence– Oh, Spencer, oh my God–”

“You’re riding me so well, darling,” Spencer says in awe, slack-jawed. His large hands come to hold your waist, feeling you bounce on his cock, helping you with the laborious movements. “You look so fucking hot right now.”

You whine, thighs already feeling the burn, but the way Spencer’s using your weight to fuck you down onto his cock has you feeling lightheaded. You think you like the feeling, being pushed around like a warm, wet fleshlight for Spencer to fuck into. “Spence, so deep–”

“I want to fuck you so badly right now, my love,” Spencer groans. You feel his hips bucking up into you slightly, right when he pulls your ass down against him, but you know his movements are restricted because of his leg. Still, his desperation to bury himself into you is wild, and your head spins. “But I can’t, and you’re doing so good fucking yourself on my cock.”

You tremble, using all your strength to fuck yourself on his cock, sobbing because you just feel that good. Spencer’s filthy words and the intensity of it all has you weak, and you wish Spencer could just flip you over and finish the job.

“Come on, darling,” Spencer encourages, his hands squeezing your ass and your thighs. It makes you feel wanted, a desperate Spencer’s way of feeling you. “I’m so close too. You’re doing so good.”

“Spencer-!” You sob, clenching around him as you come, your orgasm wracking through your body like electricity in your veins. It’s so good, too good like this, Spencer pressed up inside you like he could split you in half. 

You’re frozen as you feel him inside, his cock twitching as he blows his load. It’s warm and wet and sticky, as you feel it drip out of you. You almost can’t believe it, feeling Spencer buried to the hilt of you after months, and you wonder why it hadn’t occurred to either of you to do this sooner. 

You whimper as your emotions rush over you, and Spencer is quick to pull you close, his lips pressed to the top of your head. “That was crazy. You’re amazing. And perfect. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you say, still a little breathless. “We should do that more.”

“Until my leg is better? Then I can fuck you the way you want,” Spencer soothes, his hand petting your hair, and that certainly sounds like a good idea.

“Yeah. But we should also just do that again some time,” you giggle, resting your head on his chest. You feel his heart pounding under your ear. “I like riding you.”

Spencer laughs heartily, a warm sound that is like music to your ears. “Giddy up, cowgirl.”

[deikshen]

More DILF Shen Yuan because I woke up from that mood

Shen Yuan has an ex-wife with whom he gets along well, an older daughter who is already of legal age as geeky as he is, two younger thirteen years old twin sons, and his daughter under ten years old. He is closer to fifty than forty, and apparently a traditional life with a wife and children was what was necessary for him to accept how terribly homosexual he is.

But that's okay, he supposes. Accepting his sexuality, learning to communicate better... Necessary things. His ex-wife is now his friend, his children are well raised with lots of love and patience. Shen Yuan does not consider his divorce a failure, as his brothers accuse him, just another experience. He was not happy in his marriage. Why should he remain in a place where he was not happy?

Then one day, Luo Binghe knocks on his door.

Shen Yuan looks at the haughty man dressed in xianxia robes, a sword on his back, says "fuck not today" and closes the door in his face. Luo Binghe enters anyway. Look, Shen Yuan may enjoy the habit of reading and trashing web novels... That doesn't mean he accepts web novel protagonists ending up at his doorstep! Really!!

Luo Binghe looks shocked to see him, Shizun this, Shizun that. He looks at him as if Shen Yuan in his haughty fifties with gray hair and a tired face had two heads or four arms.

Well, it's Luo Binghe. Shen Yuan knows that he has no chance to fight him. It's not even opposed to the idea of fantasy - age drains one's imagination. If Luo Binghe is there, great, damn, he really is there.

Shen Yuan takes a deep breath, scolds him for breaking his door, tells him that he's really not in the mood for games or riddles. He has to finish correcting some important files which must be delivered no later than tonight. Luo Binghe is invited to stay as long as he keeps that sword away from his children. This week they will be with their mother, but not the following week, and that is his only condition. He's not going to let the kids near that sword.

... Luo Binghe surprisingly accepts it.

In reality, Shen Yuan is concentrating on his work so as not to think that there is a xianxia protagonist inspecting every aspect of his house. By the time he submits the corrections he owes, it's not even dusk yet and Luo Binghe is sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching a historical drama that Shen Yuan sometimes watches with a look of surprise. Shen Yuan explains the plot to him a bit and when it seems that Luo Binghe is more lost than found, he actually asks him what he wants. How did he get there? Why to his house? What does he want?

Luo Binghe looks annoyed that he has to explain - as if Shen Yuan should know beforehand or just agree to Luo Binghe's demands without asking! He explains about opening portals with Xin Mo, a strange world where there was another him, a kind Shizun married to another Luo Binghe. Something about a soul exchange, tracing the soul back to... him. Luo Binghe wants that kind Shizun for himself. He wants what is rightfully his. Why would a Luo Binghe have someone like that in his life, and he wouldn't?

Shen Yuan tries to be open-minded enough. Well, it's not like there's any other explanation. Luo Binghe shows him his claws, his zuiyin, and it's clear that he really is who he says he is. Shen Yuan assumes that a version of him (different? Who came out of the closet before marrying a woman?) transmigrated and took his favorite character as a husband, even if it is from the skin of the scum villain. Well, congratulations to him. Shen Yuan wishes them all the best.

But now there is a very real, very demonic, very traumatized Luo Binghe in his living room, watching a transmigration drama, trying to understand everything. Shen Yuan feels sad for him. He definitely needs kindness, good treatment, better care. These are not things he gets in the harem! Always having to be the provider, the protector, the one who gives his all. Shen Yuan had always been annoyed by that part of the story.

Well, now he can change that, can't he?

He tells him that he is not willing to go with him. He has a very good job as an editor, his children have an arrangement to spend one week at his house and one week at their mother's house, he has a good relationship with his ex-wife. Going to another universe would complicate his life as long as he doesn't do it during his vacation season.

However, Luo Binghe is welcome to stay. Shen Yuan will be kind to him, but if Luo Binghe wants to, he must communicate about it. And he cannot talk about other worlds, demons, harem or emperors when his children are at home. Luo Binghe doesn't quite agree, but he agrees. Shen Yuan promises him that he will take a vacation and go to that world of his to meet him, but it won't be right away. Luo Binghe is a little appeased by that.

And so, a few days later, Shen Yuan picks up his children from his ex's house and tells them: "I've brought a friend to live with us for a while."

He explains to them that he comes from far away, that he doesn't know much about the city or technology, that he speaks strangely and that it can be overwhelming. But he is a good friend, he cooks exquisitely, and he will enjoy spending time with them.

(Luo Binghe would not agree to that last point.)

They are somewhat wary, a wariness that goes away when they enter a house that smells of delicious, unburned home-cooked food. After dinner, they are more willing to accept Luo Binghe into their home and their life. And Luo Binghe does his part well: he behaves pleasantly, speaks casually, does not terrify or intimidate the children, he is a functional adult... As soon as the kids go to their rooms he looks up at Shen Yuan with big puppy eyes waiting for pats on the head for being good.

Sweet Jesus. Shen Yuan is too out of the closet for this. How will he survive this Luo Binghe who just wants to be treated kindly without spoiling him and showering him with all the love he deserves?

[barbiiecams]

the “first” time

drew starkey x younger!reader, smut, haven’t wrote ina minute yall sorry 😣. i also recommend listening to the song while reading.

you were cuddled up into the side of drew while he had his arm around you, keeping you close to him as you watched the third horror movie tonight.

but little did he know, you were practically soaked down there.

it took a lot of self restraint in you not to squirm around, but you were almost about to start.

the view of him with his blank tank top, grey sweats, a little stubble, a buzzed head and that damn gold chain had you pressing your thighs together for dear life.

it was such a random moment for you to be feeling like this too. he always looked good, that was for sure. him in general had that type of affect on you.

but right now had to have been your peak ovulation or something, because you needed him bad.

you started off with a simple and subtle movement by moving your hand from where it laid on his chest, and slowly down to the top of his abs.

no reaction.

after this, you had to come off a little more bold. you repositioned yourself, pushing your face more upwards into his neck so that plush of your butt would be more into his hand instead of the bottom of your spine.

and still, no reaction.

the only type of movement that came from him was him licking his lips. this did not help your case in the slightest.

it was just throbbing at this point. you wanted him to give it to you so bad, knowing he’d still be a little hesitant.

you and drew had been together for 8 months now, and there were still no real intercourse going on.

of course, drew didn’t mind using his fingers on you, and you didn’t mind using your mouth on him.

but you wanted, no, needed the real thing.

it’s not like you were a virgin either. you’ve had some experience before him.

and still with this knowledge, drew still was convinced you weren’t ready for him.

your core was ready for him at this point, “drew,” you finally spoke up.

“hm” he said in that low, raspy tone of his. *reason number 300 why you needed to be dicked down this instant*

in reality tho, you really did wish he would just take a hint. actually having to say what you wanted was just too… confrontational.

“i’m really like…” you didn’t make eye contact with his eyes. you were trying not to make yourself laugh at how embarrassing it was to actually tell him at the same time.

drew on the other hand was just waiting for you to finish your sentence, confused as ever.

“really what?”

you sighed. “i really, really, really, really need you. like really”

the words were finally out, but not direct. that was the most he was gonna get from you.

the realization hit him and he let out chuckle, “okay.” was all he said before he started kissing you.

but you knew what he was gonna do, and that wasn’t just all that you wanted.

you pulled away gently, “no like i actually need you. i don’t want just the fingers.”

he raised his eyebrows at this, the actual realization hitting him this time.

“a- are you sure baby?” he asked with genuine concern.

“i’m positive. i’ve been wanting it for so long.”

he’s rubbing your thigh with his hand. “i don’t know sweetheart… are you positive you want it?”

you almost started whining. “yess, drew. i’m so very serious.”

you could see that drew was very hesitant just thinking about it, but then also at the same time considering it.

“just so you know, don’t think that we have to do all of that to be together. i love you for you-”

as much as you loved your man right back, you were getting a little fed up. “yes i know babe but i really need to feel you right now.”

he smirked at your bold statement. for the first time in 8 whole months of the relationship, drew finally caved in.

“alright. don’t wanna hear it’s ‘too much’ either.”

you didn’t get the chance to respond because his lips were already on yours, shoving his tongue into your mouth and holding the back of your head.

this is what you’ve been waiting for so desperately. that rough side of his.

he’s laying you down completely on your back, focused on getting your pajama pants and panties off at once.

at the same time, you’re trying to get his shirt off. you were so ready to just take all of him.

you fumbled with his own sweats and boxers while he fumbled with your shirt, eventually resulting in the both of you being completely exposed to each other.

he runs his hands down your body, “shit.”

you felt him getting harder and harder on your leg. you could tell he was starting to feel that throbbing sensation himself when he guided your hand onto his cock and made you run him.

and while you were doing that, his hand moved to your own folds and started rubbing too. you couldn’t help the gasps that came out either.

his mouth moved down to your neck, leaving a bunch of hickies that would be pointless even attempting to cover the next day.

deciding to tease him a little, you started rubbing the tip of his cock, leaving him with his mouth slack and letting out breaths right by your ear.

“you ready for this dick, baby?” he says while moving his hard on from the palm of your hand, to rubbing at your entrance.

“mhm!” you moan out.

that’s all he needed. he clearly was just as needy all this time as you were. not too much foreplay and no multiple asks of confirmation. he just slid right in and bottomed out too.

his face scrunched in pleasure, “so tight baby. so fuckin tight.”

and he was so big. you weren’t unfamiliar with his girthy and lengthy cock, but the feeling of it actually inside you was foreign. you almost didn’t know if you could actually take it.

almost. you definitely were not stopping him from ruining your insides.

as the respectful king drew is, he waited for you to give him the “okay” to start moving. all you had to do was nod, and he started with a medium pace.

the moans that were already coming out of you were loud. it was so nice, especially on a night like this to be making love to drew.

he wasn’t silent either. you felt perfect around him. he had to let it be known too with the groans that came from him.

“you feel so good baby, so damn good.” he throws his head back.

“more…” you say, a little breathlessly too.

drew doesn’t even question it. he started hitting it harder and a little faster too.

“anything you want, love. this pussy was made for me baby. all for me.”

you wanted to respond and agree, but before you could, drew let a ball of spit out of his mouth and down to where the two of you connected. you were already very wet, and he already had a lot of precum going on.

and now the sound that was traveling throughout the house? straight pornographic.

“you hear that? you hear that pussy baby?” he says, lips back down onto yours.

but you could barely answer. he was going even faster and harder now, leaving you speechless with just your mouth open and small gasps coming from you.

but his hands move to your neck, “i asked you a question.”

your hands laid on top of his wrists, “yes papa.”

he let out an approving nod at your response. “good girl.”

drew moves his hands from around your neck, and he now has your knees pushed into your chest, with his hands firmly planted on the back of your thighs.

and because of this new position, he’s inside you so deep, and hitting that right spot which makes you scream out.

he smiles at the loud reaction. “is that it, baby? right there?”

“yea!” you whined back as a response.

he lets out a chuckle, and then feels you clench around him which knock him back down even further into the pleasure.

“yea baby, fuck. keep doing that.” he groans.

you weren’t just doing it to do it, tho. you were seconds away from cumming all over him.

“m’gonna cum…” you said, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“yea? go ahead baby. wanna feel it. cum all over this fat cock.”

a few more thrusts later, he got his request. you were cumming for so long on him, and he just kept fucking you through it. fucking you more harder than previously, actually.

he was getting so lost into it, so focused on getting his own release to. and with the faces and noises he’s started to make, you could tell he was almost there too.

“want your cum.” you said to him.

he moved is hands from your thighs and up to your hips, giving you the opportunity to wrap your legs around him and trap him into you.

“don’t play with me.” he warns.

“m’not! need to feel you cum inside me. i don’t care what happens.” you babbled. you definitely cared what would happen, but in the moment nothing else mattered.

“you’re playing a dangerous game, baby. y’know that?”

“i know. i wanna feel you fill me up so bad… make you a daddy.” you spur him on even further, knowing the affect it would have on him.

the grip he had on your hips got insanely tight. it kind of hurt in a way, but you didn’t care knowing that he was about to nut inside of you at any moment.

and just as you clenched around him like you did earlier, you felt him smash his hips into yours, this time keeping them connected together.

he came buckets into you. his hot, long ropes of sperm had you feeling full like it was nobodies business.

and he really needed to take a minute to collect himself. the both of you were gasping for air, him still inside you for a good minute after.

when he pulled out, you felt like jelly and so did drew. he laid back down himself, pulling your body into his.

“i’ve been waiting for that.” he spoke.

there was apart of you that kind of didn’t believe that. “you kept saying i wasn’t ready.” you chuckled.

“i know, bad mistake. i almost proposed to you halfway through.”

you laugh at him and snuggle up more into him.

he playfully taps your stomach. "we're gonna have to get you on birth control baby." he says, referring to the comment about giving him a baby earlier.

"i know." you giggle. "i kinda like the excitement tho i dont know."

he shakes his head, half jokingly and half serious. "these youngins"

you slap his chest and roll your eyes, "oh shut up unc." this makes him let out a laugh too.

the movie that was playing in the background was long over, and you both still had yet to realize netflix was asking if you guys were still watching.