#i actually had three different ideas at first

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 16: The One About That Time I Shot an Arrow into the Air

“…It fell to earth, I knew not where; for so swiftly it flew, the sight; could not follow it in its flight.”

Archery has always been one of my fortes in life. I have absolutely no idea why, but I’m strangely quite good at it. My father, of course, attributes it to my ancestors; something passed down to me in my genes. So, I’m not sure that any arrow I shot into the air wouldn’t naturally find itself in the direction of its intended target. Today, that target would almost certainly be in the jugular of a Cerberus-like creature. Ah, yes, that mythical hellhound with three heads that guards the entrance to the Underworld. Not only does it dictate who can enter the realm of Hades, but also who can leave. And I’m not fond of creatures that would rather devour you alive than let you leave of your own freewill. Plus, could you imagine having three heads with three different personalities? Ugh, that would get confusing quickly. And, even worse, could you imagine all the in-fighting? I mean, an arrow to the throat – if it didn’t dismantle the beast – would almost certainly silence it. Luckily, we don’t have any three-headed dogs in this fandom…

Where am I going with this? Well – besides down a long and winding path that draws attention to the fact I enjoy poetry and archery – actually, I chose today’s poem for a specific purpose. If you haven’t figured it out from my previous cracks about the Kraken, I also like Greek mythology. In fact, learning about Greek mythology at around the age of 11 – yes, that defiant age where we’re no longer interested in Barbie (not that I was ever interested in Barbie) but we’re also not cool enough to be considered teenagers – was the first time I remember finding myself “thinking outside of the box.” And by that, I mean asking the question that I probably should not have said out loud: “If Zeus is a myth, does that mean God is fake, too?” That went down like a lead balloon (and, I hope, no one takes offense to reading that now; it is not meant with any disrespect). My mother was, of course, telephoned by the school and, when I returned home, she greeted me with (something along the lines of) a simple: “Did they answer your question? No? Then I suggest you find it for yourself.”

We all have our own truth, don’t we? Even in this fandom, we are each tasked with choosing our own path. Weeding out facts from speculation and speculation from rumor. Choosing what we want to believe over what is being pushed on us. Overcoming our willingness to follow blindly versus our refusal to be backed into corner. I suppose that’s why I’ve always liked Greek mythology (and, perhaps, storytelling in general) – because it helps us navigate life’s challenges by better understanding human nature. It’s also one of the reasons why my favorite story has always been the trials and tribulations of Eros and Psyche.

Ah-ha! See, I told you I had a purpose for bringing up those damn arrows!

Yes, Eros was the Greek equivalent of the Roman Cupid; that weird little dude who fired love arrows like a bouquet of flowers at a wedding. But Eros wasn’t some creepy little cherub in a cloth diaper; he was the devastatingly handsome God of Love. And he fell in love with the equally beautiful human Psyche. That part about her being human, however,managed to get Psyche some major side-eye from Eros’s mother, Aphrodite. In retaliation for humans worshiping Psyche’s beauty over her own, Aphrodite sent Eros down to earth to pierce Psyche with one of his love arrows so she would fall madly in love with a hideous monster (unfortunately for the Cerberus, it wasn’t them). But Eros defied his mother and, unbeknownst to Aphrodite, kept Psyche for himself hidden away in a castle. There, Psyche lived – mostly happily – with Eros visiting her every night. Eros promised Psyche she could live there indefinitely so long as she never looked upon his face (hence why he only visited her in darkness). But humans have this uncanny knack for being curious and, of course, Psyche peeked. Well, fuck! Haha, I won’t ruin the rest of the story for you except to say, yes, Eros was royally peeved at Psyche’s betrayal, fled their home, and sought refuge with his bitchy mother (because, of course, he did). Devastated, Psyche went clambering up to her pseudo-mother-in-law’s shrine to beg for forgiveness and Aphrodite, being a bit of a bitchy goddess, gave Psyche a series of impossible tasks to complete to prove her worthiness. Amazingly Psyche did in fact complete each of these four tasks but only because she managed to get a little help from some fantastical friends. Well, except for that final task for which Psyche was warned – don’t look in the fucking box. Damn humans.

Like all stories passed down from generation to generation, there are multiple versions of this myth, particularly when it comes to who helped Psyche complete her four tasks. Sometimes it’s one god(dess), other times it’s multiple; sometimes it’s earth’s creatures (the ants, the plants, and the flying things). But my favorite version is the one where Eros was the one pulling those invisible strings – or, at the very least, keeping an eye on Psyche from the shadows – because no matter how angry he was with her, Eros still loved Psyche and wanted to protect her.

Why do I bring this story up? Well, for starters, if you didn’t notice (because you were too focused on carriages and mirrors), Bridgerton Season 3 made quite a few parallels between Colin and Penelope and Eros and Psyche, even referring to the latter by name at the end of the fourth episode. The show also brushed on the importance of trust, the consequences of betrayal, and the idea that love can conquer all. Funny thing is I never thought Colin to be much of an Eros; he made a better Psyche, in my opinion. I mean, he was the one to peek into Penelope’s secret life!

But Colin’s real-life counterpart, Luke, makes a rather entertaining Eros.

On December 16, when Luke reposted to his Instagram stories a link to Nicola’s “Part 1” of her 2024 Year, the fandom went wild. And I’m not talking about just the Lukolas going insane with excitement; the Jakolas were having a field day, too – but not in a good way. The unease they’d almost certainly felt with those coordinated airplane and “Polin” posts from October returned with a vengeance when Luke resurfaced in support of Nicola – the woman for whom he consistently comes out hiding. I realized then that the one person who could simultaneously make the Lukolas’ hearts flutter and the Adjacents’ blood boil was Luke (i.e., our Eros could make Psyche rejoice while making Aphrodite lash out in anger).

If you really think about it, Luke has pulled us out of the black waters of the River Styx multiple times, making him the perfect Eros to our Psyche. Yes, our Psyche. The fandom is absolutely the Psyche of this story. After all, the fandom was the one who betrayed Luke with our collective reaction to Papsmear (but, in the fandom’s defense, that was a shitty fucking day). And, of course, that wench Aphrodite is collectively all the side story bullshit, from the Adjacent narratives to rag-mags sticking their ever-growing noses into places they don't belong.

As we finish out the year, I thought it would be fun to give Luke some credit where credit is due. In other words, I thought I’d highlight four times Luke “Eros-ed” (i.e., “rescued”) us from some mucky ass shit. This is not every moment Luke came out of hiding to do something wonderful; these are simply my top four moments where I believe Luke single-handedly resuscitated the fandom. You’re welcome to share your best Luke moments in the comments.

No. 1 - That Post-Papsmear Thing That Everyone Ignored:

Fuck, yes.

I am starting with the most overlooked event in the Lukola-verse – Luke’s post-Papsmear Cressida story. This is the taproot that keeps my faith in Lukola from falling over during a storm – Luke taking one for Team Lukola by promoting Season 3 using the scene from Ep. 6 where Cressida entered the Mondrich Ball and Colin pulled Penelope aside and told her he wouldn’t let Cressida ruin their evening. Yeah, yeah, Luke totally missed the target with that post but – again, in the fandom’s defense – everyone was still reeling from the sudden-but-not-so-sudden materialization of Antonia at the London premiere. In hindsight, though, you know you want to give him an “atta boy” for basically throwing shade at the Lutonia narrative while using a massive social media platform to do so. It was jaw-dropping, brilliant, and ballsy as fuck.

If you’re totally lost about how entertaining this Cressida story was, go read Entry 1 to be my blog. But, seriously, how have you not read it already?

No. 2 – Delivering the Cake:

Alright, fast forward three months (yes, three goddamn months!) to September 7 when Luke posted pictures from his stay at the Puente Romano resort.

No big deal, right?

Wrong!

It was a big fucking deal because, for starters, Antonia creeped in and posted random pictures of herself at roughly the same time Luke posted his resort pictures. And, of course, Luke had to like Antonia’s Instagram post. To make matters worse (gasp!) Luke’s had palm trees in his pictures which were oh, so reminiscent (but, not really) of palm trees posted by Antonia the previous day to her Instagram stories. Oh my God! And, then the real kicker? Luke’s slide deck included him eating a picture of himself from the London premiere sans Nicola! The horror! I mean, what probably started out as a cute post by Luke turned into a full-on Lukola heart attack within 30 minutes or less!

But then Luke pulled out a defibrillator and revived the fandom. Almost immediately.

After presumably hearing the cries from the Lukola fandom that he’d cut Nicola from the London premiere image, Luke demonstrated through his Instagram stories that (a) he was eating part of a cake (he was even darling enough to put the cake emoji with a smiley face), and (b) that the cake never had Nicola’s image on it to begin with (meaning, he didn’t remove her from it). Thank you for that clarification, Luke. Seriously, the fandom appreciated it.

After they recovered from their near-death experience, the Lukolas finally took the time to look at the images Luke posted. A not-so-random chaise lounge; a random white shirt; a restaurant called El Pimpi (which is a word used for the people who delivered messages to a ship’s crew and passengers); Luke throwing up the peace sign with his now infamous digits in – what appeared to be – the reflection of a glass table; and a reference to cake. It was Lukola- and/or Polin-coded shit. And, to make it just a smidge better, there was no visible reference to Antonia anywhere.

And, yes, I will cut in here to acknowledge that Antonia would, on October 25, include a lone picture of a balcony which was identical to the one Luke posted in his – what I like to call – “clarification stories” from September 7. Do I care about Antonia’s balcony? Not in the least. Could she have been at the resort? Sure. In fact, I’ve always found the idea of Antonia being present quite comical since Luke made it fairly obvious he omitted something (ahem, someone) from his Instagram post and instead filled it with random shit that seemed Lukola- and/or Polin-coded. Plus, if you want me to be perfectly honest, “insinuation” posts from Antonia stopped doing it for me months ago.

Back to what I saying… We must give Luke a round of applause for placating an entire fandom with something as simple as a cake emoji. Bravo, bravo!

No. 3 – Shutting Down the Mean Girls:

We closed out September with Antonia riling up the fandom by posting Instagram story after Instagram story, none of which were worth a second glance from a Lukola except for the “phone screen” one (see “Entry 7: The One Where the Queen Asked, ‘Did That Go the Way You Thought It Was Gonna Go?’” for reference). Oh, wait, there is another story – just for my own amusement – on October 1, Antonia reshared a story where she was labeled “Aphroditi.” Rather convenient for my story today, isn't it? Any ways, the Lukolas were a bit high-strung by October 2 when Nicola announced via Instagram that she had been named as part of the Time 100. Luke liked the post – but apparently to the haters on X he didn’t do it motherfucking fast enough. These weird-ass people do actually exist – the ones that genuinely believe Instagram likes (and the speed thereof) equate to true love.

Any ways, Luke apparently decided he was having none of that bullshit and stepped in on October 3 with his Polin-themed “Mean Girls” story. It was a throwback to a conversation he and Nicola had had in, I believe, 2022 on, haha, X.

“On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.”

“It’s October 3rd.”

Luke captioned the story, “Xx.”

Not only did the fandom rejoice that Luke had returned to post something after nearly a month away, but the post included a throwback to Nicola, and it came on the heels of Halley Brisker’s now legendary “Nicola lately” post. Yeah, the one with Luke in the background (seriously, convince me it was someone else). Luke’s story also seemed to be one hell of a clapback to a rabid pack animal on X who faulted Luke for not leaving a comment on Nicola’s Time 100 post.

“Xx.”

No. 4 – The Littlest Things:

I debated over choosing Luke’s People magazine interview for the fourth moment, but that interview – although it made the fandom incredibly happy – didn’t pull our heads out of our own asses. So, I decided instead to go with the little things Luke has done over the past few months, namely, joining in on the Like Wars but in his own oh, so subtle way.

Let’s start with Antonia’s September 21 post of – honestly, who the hell cares? She posted and we knew Luke’s obligatory like was coming. It just took 10 ½ hours for Luke to get to it and it was only given after Nicola posted to her Instagram stories pictures from a concert she had attended. Was the fandom a bit deflated Luke liked Antonia’s post? Of course! But it was also fun to see the like come hours after Luke had already been online and on the heels of Nicola popping up online.

On October 11, we had a similar event happen. Antonia posted to her grid and Luke seemingly ignored it for roughly five hours. But, while Luke was ignoring her post, Antonia was going hard at it with Instagram stories and TikTok videos (Nicola, for her part, seemed to be playing her own game on social media during this time). Luke finally liked Antonia’s post and Antonia went silent thereafter. Then, on October 12, Luke officially made it back from his October 4 “Brb” moment and posted “Somewhere in Mayfair” to his Instagram stories. Let the fandom rejoice!

But I’m not stopping there. Let’s not forget about Luke and Nicola’s coordinated “Polin” pictures on October 21 or that, while Antonia was “rolling pasta” on November 17, Luke made it a point to go back and like Nicola’s Dr. Who post from November 15. On December 6, when Luke coughed up a like to Antonia’s grid post, he also handed a like out to Nicola at the same time (and a few others). Do you see a pattern starting to form?

Honestly, I believe Luke is owed a standing ovation for the way he has taken control of his own narrative and managed to deflect from the so-called “importance” of these bullshit Instagram likes. Although Nicola has historically attempted to distract the fandom from Antonia, in my opinion, it was always Luke’s responsibility to diminish the importance of Antonia’s role in his story. And, for the past several months, he has been doing just that – in the quietest way possible.

I’ve decided Luke is a bit like a shadow. Inconspicuous – sometimes even completely invisible – but when the light hits just right, it’s impossible to ignore his immense presence.

When Luke posts, or when he coyly plays around with the Instagram likes – even when he likes Nicola’s posts – it somehow resonates differently with the fandom. Nicola could post her year-end stuff and the fandom would be, like, “Oh, that’s cool.” But, when Luke reshares her post to his stories? “Holy fuck, that’s awesome!” It's a "different energy on set." Somewhere in the middle of all the bullshit that goes on within the fandom, Luke found his own truth. The “Bad Guy” who was “on a break” during Hot Boy Summer somehow became our hero; the shadowy figure that pulls us out of the water and sets our heads back on straight. Over and over again. It's been so subtle, we've barely even noticed.

I’m going to end this entry with the Longfellow poem I quoted at the beginning, mainly because I like it, but also because it’s about something that cannot be easily seen once released into the world but, if found, can have an everlasting effect on us.

“I shot an arrow into the air; it fell to earth, I knew not where; for so swiftly it flew, the sight; could not follow it in its flight;

“I breathed a song into the air, it fell to earth, I knew not where; for who has sight so keen and strong, that it can follow the flight of song?

“Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroke; and the song, from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend.”

P.S. In the story, Psyche is rescued by Eros (hurray!) and is made the Goddess of the Soul.

[hurlingdown]

                     DRESS . . . TO IMPRESS ?

synopsis. in celebration of the most wonderful time of the year, the one piece men have prepared extra special gifts for you. zoro, law, luffy, ace.

tags. dom! reader, implied top! (gn) reader. christmas fluff, crossdressing, big muscly men in skimpy skirts, law in a nurse outfit, lingerie, heavy petting, dirty talk, kissing, horribly written crack (i inserted my humour into this), mentions of sex, fingering, cock-warming, rimming etc, don’t read this seriously, it gets progressively worse, spending the holiday season with them <3

a/n. this is my christmas gift to the one piece fandom. enjoy lol.

“merry christmas,” zoro grunted, and you felt a little dizzy from the overwhelming endorphin rush that went straight to your head and somewhere else. 

because this… this was something you would have never anticipated for a christmas gift. this was zoro you were talking about. the epitome of stoicism. had he been just… pretending all along? you would’ve expected something like an earring, maybe, to match his three. a love letter was simply out of the question… though a bouquet of poinsettias wouldn’t be over the top, if he had consulted nami in the first place. but this? this was just… breath-stealing. 

you watched as your lover rolled onto his stomach in his scanty outfit to show off the crystal pink plug that he had stuffed into his puffy rim, shooting you a coy glance over his shoulder. “well?” he hummed. “do you like it, babe?” 

“yeah,” you breathed out. “i love it. you look gorgeous. i think… i think i just fell in love with you all over again.”

he coughed, a blush rising to his cheeks, and yeah, this was something you were more familiar with—not the balmy heat shrouding your face, the dry crawl of your throat whenever you so simply looked at him, the hint of sweat building at your temples at the thought of doing nasty, sinful things to him. 

was he even real? were you dreaming? you better not be, because this was a meal you were going to spend your good time ravishing. 

“well, merry christmas to you, too,” you murmured lowly, climbing onto the bed after him, and he bit his lip with a shiver, raising his hips slightly to present you your christmas gift. you wasted no time in laying your hands on him, squeezing at the skin-tight fabric over his luscious thighs, giving his cushiony ass a small slap before smoothing over the warm ache. 

“gonna eat you out until you’re wet and sore, baby,” you told him, “and then i’m going to finger you while we binge watch shitty christmas movies together on the couch.” you licked your lips, pretending to think about what you were going to say next. “actually... might as well have you cockwarm me while we’re at it. and once we’re done with that, i’m gonna put it in your slutty hole and fuck you ‘til you start crying, okay?” 

“and after that too,” zoro mumbled, shifting onto his back and pulling you down for a soft, wet kiss that sent butterflies roaring in your stomach. 

TRAFALGAR LAW

“traf, sweetheart, have you seen my—oh.” 

“get. out.” 

“what are you wearing…?” 

“are you deaf? i said get out!” 

“hold on, okay? it’s not like i haven’t seen you naked before! just… is that a nurse uniform?”

but this was different from being naked. this was far more embarrassing. law looked at you with narrowed eyes, tone sharp with accusation that bordered on hurt. “what? you don’t like it?” he nervously bit his lip, pulling down his skirt and squeezing his legs together as though it would hide the very obviously aroused state of his crotch. 

“i do! how could i not? you haven’t even let me say anything yet!” you swallowed, feeling saliva seep into your mouth at the erotic sight before you. “you look so fucking hot, you have no idea. i love it, traf. i love it so much—” 

“okay, okay, i get it.” he huffed with feigned irritation, a small breath of relief escaping him as he shyly glanced at the floor, hands still clutching at the fabric of his dress. “m-merry christmas.” 

you took a few tentative steps forward until you stopped in front of him, and he frowned and turned away, heat rising to his cheeks. “don’t look at me like that. it wasn’t my idea, just so you know…” he swallowed when you put your hands on his bony hips and squeezed, subtly exploring the rest of his outfit with your eyes, and he sighed, relaxing a little. “hey, say something…” 

“sorry,” you chuckled, meeting his gaze again. “you’re just… beautiful. i love you. i love the fit. it looks so good on you… thank you for the christmas gift, love.” 

“and where’s mine?” he said, attempting to distract you from the deep flush on his cheeks. he slung his arms loosely around your neck, giving you an almost pouty look, to which your heart clenched at. “... don’t tell me you didn’t bring me one.” 

“oh, but i did.”

. . . you swore you tried so hard. but you could feel it creeping up on you, like a silhouette, surreptitiously tugging at the corners of your lips. fuck it. you just couldn’t hold back your smirk. you thought you were just absolutely brilliant, coming up with this idea of a gift. you knew he would love it. you just knew. 

“eyes on me, baby.”

maintaining sensual eye contact with him, you gently laced your fingers with his, pressing each of his knuckles to your lips in tender kisses. then, with a gentle smile, you guided his hand down, slowly, slowly, until it was fully pressed against the front of your trousers, right where the zipper was. you nudged your hips towards the cup of his palm, faking a moan.

“there’s your gift,” you murmured seductively, and watched giddily as his golden eyes widened in shock and arousal before a sharp, splitting pain on the side of your face knocked you out. 

“pervert!”

you laughed victoriously as you went down. like he wasn’t the pot calling the kettle black with that cute little outfit of his.

MONKEY D. LUFFY

“merry christmas!” you heard a deafening guffaw before something crash-tackled you from behind, and you fell onto the floor in a heap of rubbery limbs. 

“luffy!” you choked out a laugh as your lover wrapped himself around your ribs, still unwilling to let go. “baby, i can’t breathe.” 

“oh. sorry!” he retracted his arms and legs, getting off you with a spring. you sat up, and that’s when you saw what he was wearing. a cute christmas skirt and matching leggings, and he looked so ridiculously adorable you had to do a double take. he frowned at your flabbergasted expression, leaning in to inspect your face. “huh? did i break you? i promise, i didn’t mean to hit you that hard! wait, why’re you lookin’ at me like that?” 

he pat your head, as though that would fix things. you squinted at his carefree smile. hold on. what the absolute shit. was that lipstick? 

“luff,” you took a deep breath, trying to steady your heartbeat. “who dressed you up?” 

“nami, duh,” he sung, giving you a little twirl to show off the fit. you already knew the answer—you just had to double confirm. crap. just how much money did you owe her now? a thousand berri? two thousand? to be fair, for this quality of work, you’d pay her a fortune. “nami said you’d like it. well? d’you?” 

“yeah,” you murmured, half in awe, half in devastation, because this was a really bad time to get horny if luffy wasn’t in the mood. “you look really pretty, baby. i love it a lot.” you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to will away the horny. but it was just so hard to stop being horny all of a sudden. every time you closed your eyes, all you could envision was the horny: him in that skimpy christmas skirt, a bright flush on his cheeks, sprawled out on the bed underneath you… 

the soft press of lips against your cheek made your eyes shoot open. “huh?” 

the red colour on his lips was now slightly smudged, and you raised your hand to gently touch your now stained cheek in realisation. “oh…” 

“you looked consti- constipated sittin’ there!” luffy explained, in a much louder voice than usual, a thick blush covering his face. “i had to, y’knoow, help you out… in case you were having a hard time…” 

and well, there goes your horny.

PORTGAS D. ACE

“darling! you’re home!” you watched as your lover clumsily hobbled out of the bathroom, swathed in the most colourful gift-wrapping paper you had ever seen from chest to heel. “merry christmas!” 

you blinked. were you seeing things? “ace, honey,” you started, slowly, with a laugh. “know that i’d love it either way, but… are you supposed to be my gift?” 

“well, yeah, sort of.” he grinned, trying to make his way over to you in awkward steps. he winked, keeping himself just out of arm’s reach when you tried to pull him into a kiss. “just watch. you might even be surprised.” 

he raised a finger mischievously, and you watched as the tip of it caught on fire. he continued smiling his infamous ‘up-to-no-good’ grin, carefully bringing the small flame near his clothed chest. you raised your eyebrows, unsure, because as much as he was immune to fire, the gift-wrapping probably wasn’t... and the furniture in your house definitely wasn’t. 

“watch…” ace stressed with a hush, dramatically pressing his blazing finger onto the wrapping paper, to which it burnt a hole right through, orange flames immediately clinging on to the circular edges, rapidly widening the puncture. soon, his entire so-called ‘outfit’ was on fire, and you were starting to get alarmed when an eye-catching dark red slowly emerged from the burgeoning flames, strapped right across his chest. 

you choked. was that… a bra? 

“ta-da!” he shouted, opening his arms in full display with what could only be described as pure mirth. “fireproof lingerie!” 

what the fuck. you stood there, gaping, unwilling to believe. the rest of the flames gradually died down, revealing a gorgeous pair of red lace lingerie that hugged his crotch and chest in all the perfect areas, showing off his muscled figure, broad in the shoulders but tight in the waist, with thick hips and strong thighs. you could feel yourself salivating post-shock. 

“baby, you look really, really sexy, but…” you began, swallowing down your laughter. “forget it. why am i even surprised at this point?” ace grinned, albeit a little more sheepish than usual, rubbing at the back of his neck as you checked him out unabashedly. “ah, damn it. you look like a whole feast. i’m going to have a hard time keeping my hands off you tonight…” 

“ain’t that the purpose,” ace purred, shooting you a naughty glance through his lashes. “come and get me, hot stuff. and hey, guess what? we won’t have to worry about me accidentally burning my clothes off this time.” 

and needless to say, the both of you had a very merry christmas that night, indeed.

masterlist!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! SORRY IF YOUR BONER DIED 💓🫶

[obsidiannebula]

How to Spot AI-Generated Reference Texts

This morning I celebrated a lovely Christmas with my family. My 3 year old was ecstatic, I made my brother tear up, it was a good time. But I received something that at first, seemed like the kind of thing I would very much like to own... until I started actually looking through it. I quickly realized that this book is unmistakably AI-generated slop and should not be used or trusted as an actual reference guide. Having not been written by an actual expert in the field or even compiled by an actual researcher citing sources and synthesizing information, these books are at best three hundred pages of reading the first couple of sentences of a search result for each topic, and at worst full of dangerous misinformation that can get people killed, as with the rise of AI-generated mushroom foraging books. These are in no way reliable reference guides for anything, but especially for anything with potential health risks like ingesting plants and their compounds.

So today I'm going to try and get some good use out of this book I now own by using it to demonstrate how to spot AI-generated scam books.

The first red flags jump out at us right from the cover. This is "The Home Apothecary Full Collection: Your In-Depth Holistic Guide with Natural Herbal Remedies for Long-Lasting Wellness and Optimal Health." Yeesh, what a mouthful. A soulless, artless mouthful, I must add. But hey, maybe this author is a very clinical or verbose type. Except a quick search for the author's name, Megan Morren, quickly makes it clear that this is not a real person. There is one bare-bones Facebook profile for a Megan Morren, and no social media beyond that. No LinkedIn or Pinterest or mentions in an article, nothing. Every other result shows her books: this one, and two others nearly identical to it, with slightly different names but the same "1500+ Remedies/Extra Content" claim in the same corner, utilizing the same fonts and each with a very similar AI-generated background.

That's right, we've got a pretty bog-standard AI-generated image for the cover of this book, showcasing a variety of vaguely herbal plants and jars as well as several nonsensical non-objects.

Okay, so the cover was definitely made by AI, but maybe this author is writing under a pseudonym and visually just not very creative. Let's open it up and took a look at...

Oooookay so that's how we're getting the "40 books in one" claim touted on the cover. What most people would call a chapter is here billed as an entire book, with each subtopic considered its own chapter. There's not more than two or three "chapters" per "book" and most of the chapters are only one or two pages long, which is some James Patterson-ass shit. At least if Patterson had written this book there'd be a little character to the narration and an attempt at wit, but as we'll soon see, the actual writing is... wanting, to say the least.

Obviously the first observation here is that formatting is for the BIRDS. No paragraph breaks or indents, and the paragraphs are all of roughly similar length. Furthermore, the writing reads like a copy/pasted Wikipedia page. Scratch that, I went ahead and typed "history of herbal healing" into a search engine and found the actual Wikipedia page for "History of herbalism," which actually does provide more detail on the topic as well as FIFTY-FOUR ACTUAL SOURCES and some recommended further reading, making it vastly superior to this slop. Because there's not a single source cited in this entire book, nor is there an author bio here or online that remotely suggests that the author might have some experience and expertise from which they are drawing to write or even fact-check this book.

On top of that, there is truly no authorial voice whatsoever. Even if you wanted to be very academic about it and avoid using first-person in your reference book, there should at least be some synthesizing of sources and information, expanding on the ideas presented and combining them to draw new conclusions or illustrate points. But everything here is incredibly surface-level, like someone copied the first sentence or three from the first Google result and stuck it there and then moved on to the next bullet point in the outline.

Seriously, this whole book is just page after page of walls of text. It's a nightmare to try to read if you have any sort of reading-impairing disorder like dyslexia or ADHD, and it's also just kind of ugly. And in a book supposedly about herbalism, there is not a single image or diagram. That's wild to me. There is nothing in here to aid with plant identification or demonstrate the tincturing or decocting processes or anything. I've never read an herbalism book without a single picture or diagram. Granted, I've only read a handful, but still, it seems very strange to me. And god did these endless blocks of text need SOMETHING to break them up.

Also these introductory paragraphs just scream "obligatory" to me. They're all a single paragraph of approximately the same length, providing a perfunctory and colorless overview of the subject matter. I mean, seriously? We're starting off "uplifting herbs for depression" with "Depression affects millions globally. It is characterized by x and y. While it is conventional treated with medication and therapy, there are also some herbs that can improve mood." It's so bland and robotic and uninformative. I think most fifth graders could write a better introductory paragraph, as long as we didn't penalize them for spelling or grammar.

I'd really like to get back to spending the holiday with family, so I'm going to leave it at that. It's just so frustrating to see books like this pushing legitimate texts written by real people with real expertise or at least personality out of bookshelves and searches, propagating useless or even dangerous information in place of sharing real knowledge and traditions. I had to rant a little bit and get it off my chest.I wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season, and all the best for 2025. Everyone, that is, except "Megan Morren." Whoever you really are, I hope you step on Legos every day for the rest of your life. It's the least you deserve for publishing trash like this.

[impala124]

Bad Buddy Ep 1

On the occasion of Pat Shottiversery (no idea what this means, just know that it's a thing in the fandom), I've decided to finally jump the gun and watch Bad Buddy and share my thoughts along the way. Here it goes:

I've known Pran for 2 minutes and I already know that my baby can do no wrong.

The kids are the cutest!! Kudos to the casting team because I can actually believe that they were Pat and Pran in their younger years.

The new chancellor employing collective punishment to keep them in line is interesting.

Wai embellishing the story and telling Pran that he congratulated them by giving them a thumbs-up instead of what happened in reality, i.e., showing them the middle finger and starting a fight, just screams foreshadowing to me.

Both of them chose different career paths, Pat pursuing engineering and Pran with the architecture degree. I would've expected them to choose the same stream and compete there too. Hmmm

None of their friends know about their supposed rivalry, which began before they were even born.

I love Pa. She had me at the 'You guys are soulmates' comment, and she's protective over Pran❤️.

Oh, the irony of Pat accusing Pran of following him to the same university when Pat followed Pran to participate in the Freshy Music contest. I understand Pat, though; I too would be following Pran around like a lost puppy.

Pat's wink and Pran's smile in return after their rather short-lived victory are everything. Not the fake fighting, though 😭😂.

Things don't end well whenever I'm close to you. At least, no one will get transferred somewhere else this time. What exactly happened three years ago???

Pat was the one who said that others shouldn't view them as friends when they were kids, so I understand Pran making Pat add him to the My Friends list on WeChat first. Gotta respect pettiness.

I have so many feelings about the watch. Pran keeping it with him for all these years and then changing it to the current time and putting it on his hand after Pat added him as a friend AHTDFDSGFG. He is restarting their relationship by bringing it to the current times. He doesn't want to be stuck in the past.*screaming*

[bloatedandalone04]

Under the Tree

➪the one where you and tyler celebrate christmas together, and he has a surprise waiting for you underneath the tree.

Warnings: fluff, swearing, mentions of smut, nothing too wild (yes, i write fluff too).

Word Count: 2.8k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡ | Merry Christmas !

The department store was crowded, but what store wasn’t during this time of year? Christmas was next month, after all.

You were currently in the ornament aisle of the store, practically shoulder to shoulder with Tyler and an elderly woman that was standing to the left side of you. While you felt a little bad for dragging your boyfriend here after he just finished a rather grueling chase yesterday and likely still needed to rest, Tyler was still a pretty festive guy. And the chances of there being another tornado for the next few months was unlikely, so he would have lots of time to rest. 

And he didn’t even look annoyed or irritated at the moment, even though you had been in this aisle for about fifteen minutes now. His arm was slung around your waist as your eyes flickered all over the various boxes of Christmas tree ornaments, an active debate going on in your head as you thought about what theme you wanted to go for this year. 

This would be yours and Tyler’s first Christmas together, alone that is. You’d been together for almost three years, and the first year you had spent the holiday with your own families, and the second year with all of them together, but this year it was just you and him. Tyler’s family is going on a vacation this year, so you and he spent last weekend with them, and your mom was taking care of your dad since he just had surgery on his leg, so it wasn’t really a good year for them. Though you were planning on stopping by a few days after Christmas. 

With that being said, this was the first year it was just you and Tyler, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t so excited to spend the holiday with him. 

“No rush, babe, but is there a reason we’ve been standin’ here for over ten minutes?” he asked after watching you glance between two different boxes over and over again. “Again, no rush at all, but…someone’s grandma is looking a little pissed off.”

When you looked to your left and saw the elderly woman glaring at you, your hand came up to cover your mouth as you tried to hold in a laugh. “She has a valid reason,” you said, leaning more into your boyfriend’s side to give her a little more room. “This time of year is…stressful for everyone.” 

Tyler hummed in agreement, wrapping his arm tighter around you as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “True…but I don’t think pickin’ out what to put on the tree is very stressful,” he teases, “Or at least it’s not supposed to be.”

You laughed quietly, watching as the woman grabbed a box of all red ornaments before briskly leaving the aisle. “I don’t know which ones I want,” you whined, pulling him back to where you were before. “I don’t know if we should do red and green, or white and gold, or white, gold and red.” 

Tyler laughed under his breath as he looked at the multitude of different colored ornaments on the shelves. “Well, we have a pretty big tree, why don’t we do a mix of all of them? And maybe we can add some random ones here and there. We still have the ornament my mom got us last year to put on too, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” you smiled, looking back at him. His mom had gotten you a cute ornament that said both yours and Tyler’s names on the brims of a Santa hat that two penguins were wearing, and you were kind of obsessed with it. “That’s actually a really cute idea. You’re better at this than I thought you’d be.”

Tyler smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist again as he pulled you back against his side. “I love Christmas, you know that,” 

You nodded, wrapping both your arms around his middle as you leaned your head against his chest. “I know you do,” you hummed, “But most guys don’t.”

“Baby, I think we’ve long since discovered that I’m not like most guys,” he grunted, reaching for both the big boxes of the red and green ornaments, leaving you to grab the smaller box that held both white and gold ones. 

When he gestured for you to finally leave the aisle, you rolled your eyes. “Must you always show off?” you huffed, grabbing the smaller box before following after him. 

“In front of you?” he grinned, “Always.”

-

“Pick a movie already,” you groaned, worried that the candy cane hot chocolate you had made for both you and Tyler would be stone cold by the time a film was even chosen. The living room was only lit up by the recently put up Christmas tree in the corner, an array of ornaments scattered on its branches, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think it was one of the cutest and prettiest things you had ever seen. 

Tyler turned around from where he was hunched over the fake fireplace. The remote had been lost a long time ago, so whenever either of you wanted it on, you had to get onto your knees and hit the button manually. 

The look he gave you had you cackling as you draped the big throw blanket your mom got you a few years ago across your body. “I did,” he said, “Two of them, actually. You said no to both.”

You laughed and sipped on your drink. “The Grinch is so overrated, and Home Alone is so overplayed,” you mumbled, placing your whole palm around your mug to warm your hand. “We watch it, like, five times every December.”

Tyler, once he turned the fireplace on, stood up and towered over you, his hands on his hips. His red and green Christmas pyjama pants he was wearing made your smile grow, even though you were wearing matching ones, complete with Max from The Grinch scattered all over the fabric. “Because it’s a classic,” he defended his choice of movie as he moved towards the couch. “And it’s good. Your choice was awful, but you don’t hear me complainin’, do you?”

His words weren’t harsh at all but rather teasing as he grabbed his own mug before sitting next to you and leaning over to kiss your cheek when you draped the blanket over him as well. “Love Actually is good,” you muttered, bringing the rim of your mug up to your mouth again. 

Tyler laughed, reaching for the remote with his free hand. “Babe, it’s barely a Christmas movie,”

“Okay, you have not seen it enough times to be able to say that,” you said and Tyler grunted. 

“Alright, fine, it doesn’t feel like a Christmas movie,” he corrected himself as he flipped through the Holiday section on Netflix. “How about…this one?”

You looked up and saw that he was hovering over Four Christmases, and your lips curved into a smile. “Okay,” you answered, cuddling close to him while being careful not to spill your drink. 

When the opening scene started, Tyler turned his head and nuzzled his nose against your temple. “We should do that,” he murmured, draping his arm around your shoulder as he pulled you closer to his side. 

“What?” you laughed, your eyes still on the TV but your focus was almost entirely on your boyfriend. 

“You know…roleplay,” he said, and your face heated up as you looked over at him, seeing the mischievous look in his eyes you were very used to by now. 

“Roleplay?” you echoed, tilting your head back to get a better look at his handsome face. “You wanna call me a bitch, hmm? And tell me you hate my earrings?”

Tyler’s face heated up now and he quickly shook his head. “No, that’s not what I meant,” he rushed out, but you just laughed and draped your legs over his under the blanket. “I just meant, like…you know, pretendin’ we don’t know each other, only for me to kiss you in front of a room full of people like it’s the only thing I want to do for the rest of my life.”

You bit your lip and pressed your cheek against his shoulder, running the tip of your nose along his jawline. “You already do that,” you murmured, “Kiss me in a room full of people. What would be different?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead before pressing his own against it. “We could make it like our first date all over again. I could act all cool and confident, when really I was already fallin’ head over heels for you, and you could pretend you aren’t completely obsessed with me already and just dyin’ to hear more of my storm chasin’ stories.”

You scoffed, pulling back to lightly slap his shoulder. “You’re so full of it,” you shook your head before moving closer to him again. “It wasn’t your stories that drew me in, it was you. Just you.”

Tyler smiled down at you before leaning in and pressing a firm kiss to your mouth. “Everythin’ about you drew me in,” he mumbled against your lips. “Your eyes, your laugh, your smile…and those tight jeans you were wearing definitely did somethin’ to me.”

You rolled your eyes and placed your hand flat against his face, pushing him away from you. “Once again, you’re full of it,” you muttered, quickly pulling your hand away from him when his tongue poked out and licked your palm. “And disgusting.”

Tyler laughed, and the sound made your mouth curve upwards in a smile as you turned your gaze back to the movie. “You love it,”

-

Christmas Day always seemed to creep up on you ever since you became an adult, unlike how it seemed to take forever to arrive when you were a kid. 

With that being said, it was just as exciting as it was when you were younger. Back then, you, like any other kid, loved receiving gifts, but now that you are older, you love giving them out. 

Okay, maybe you go a bit overboard every year, but your mom could always use another mug, and your dad could always upgrade his housecoat. And Tyler could always stock up on that piney, sexy cologne you fucking love. 

When you woke up on the 25th of December, alone and cold in your bed, you groaned and grabbed Tyler’s Tor-nae-do hoodie and shrugged it over your shoulders, the grey fabric matching well with your Grinch pajamas. 

You left the room and walked down the stairs, hearing the faint sound of Christmas music playing from the living room. When you entered the room, you found Tyler sitting on the couch, his laptop placed on his thighs and his legs kicked up on the coffee table as he scrolled through the comments on an old upload. 

“Working on Christmas?” you asked with a tired grin, crossing your arms as you leaned against the doorway. 

Tyler looked over at you, his handsome grin forming on his lips as he closed his laptop, instantly giving you his full attention like he always did. “Someone has to,” he teased, setting it aside as he leaned back on the couch. “Kinda hard to make money when you’re in bed and sleepin’ all morning.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, pushing off the wall when he reached his hand out to you. “It’s only ten thirty,” you mumbled, crawling onto his lap as you snuggled up on his chest. “And yeah, yeah…you’re the breadwinner out of the two of us. I know that.” 

Tyler hummed as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his arms wrapping around your body as he held you against him. “That’s not true and you know it,” he murmured, dipping his head down to nuzzle his face against your neck. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

You smiled, closing your eyes as you pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. “Merry Christmas, Ty,” you said back, sitting up on his lap and placing your hands on his chest. “What do you say? I make breakfast, we sit for a bit, then open presents? Maybe after we can have a nap too…you kept me up late last night.”

Tyler smirked, shrugging a bit as he ran his hands up your back, under his hoodie. “What can I say? I know how to celebrate a holiday,” he grinned, then sat up a bit. “How ‘bout presents first? I got you somethin’ I’ve been dying to see you open for weeks now.”

One of your brows raised as you let out a soft hum. “Weeks, huh?” you echoed, a small smile forming on your lips. “Alright, we’ll do presents first.”

“Okay,” he immediately agreed, his hands giving your hips a gentle squeeze. “Open mine first. It’s right there, under the tree.” he nodded towards the corner of the living room, the Christmas tree lit up in a soft, warm tone, and under it was a small, surprisingly well wrapped box. 

“Okay,” you said, getting off his lap to retrieve the box, and one of the gifts you got him. You walked back over to him and sat down on the couch beside him, rather than on top of him again, and placed your gift for him on his lap. “Remember, we said we weren’t going to go overboard since it’s just us this year, right? You remember that?”

Tyler grinned and draped his arm around your shoulders. “Babe, just open it,” he laughed, his other hand wrapping around one of your thighs to pull you closer to him.

You laughed quietly too, draping your legs over his lap. As your fingers began ripping at the wrapping paper, you noticed that Tyler began to shift beside you, but he only gestured for you to keep going when you looked over at him. “Are you okay?” you asked, glancing up at him again as you pulled off the rest of the paper. “You’re acting kinda weird or anxious or-”

You cut yourself off when you opened a small box, and you quickly looked down to see what was in it. When your eyes caught sight of the princess cut ring that was sitting on the velvet cushion inside the box, your throat closed up as a soft gasp left your mouth. 

“Ty,” you murmured, your eyes burning a bit with unshed tears as you tore your gaze off the stunning ring to look over at him. 

Tyler looked less nervous now as his fingers ran up and down your thigh, his eyes wide but his face relaxed. “Baby,” he said back, reaching up to caress your jaw in his hand. “I love you. More than anythin’ in the world. You know that.”

You nodded quickly, your hands shaking a bit as you looked between him and the ring in the box. “Yeah,” you whispered, gripping his arm tightly with the hand that wasn’t holding the box. 

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Tyler rasped, taking the ring out of the box as he held it between his fingers. “I want to marry you, babe. I want everythin’ with you, forever.”

Your cheeks heated up in a blush, your eyes filling with tears as you moved closer to him. “I want that too,” 

“Yeah?” Tyler grinned, taking your left hand in his as he held the ring up to you. “Will you marry me, baby?”

You were nodding before he even finished asking the question, your arms thrown around his shoulders as you pressed a deep kiss to his mouth. “Tyler, oh my God,” you mumbled against his mouth, your voice muffled by his lips. “Yes.”

Tyler laughed against your lips, his arms wrapping tightly around you as he pressed multiple kisses to your mouth. Neither of you knew how long had passed before you finally broke the kiss and pulled back so he could slide the ring onto your finger, and already you were absolutely obsessed with it. 

“It’s so beautiful, Ty,” you said quietly as you gazed down at the new addition to your left hand. 

“Yeah? I tried findin’ the prettiest one because you’re the prettiest girl,” he smirked, running his hand up and down your spine as you snuggled up against his side. “This one will have to do.”

You scoffed and shook your head, nuzzling your face against the side of his neck. “It’s perfect,” you mumbled, kissing his shoulder. “I love it. I don’t even want you to open my gift now because you’ve given me the best one by far. I feel cheap.”

Tyler laughed, holding you tightly against his side as he looked down at the gift bag you had put on his lap. “Oh yeah, it’s gonna take you at least…I don’t know, four Christmases to catch up to me now,” he said, a proud smile on his face, and he was clearly happy with his stupid joke as he reached for the bag. “Oh, and thanks for the cologne by the way, wifey.”

[azulsluver]

I have an idea for bully!au so imagine kailm having a dream or saw something of a couple with a pet play fetish and liked to the idea of the dog collar and decided to put one in reader

Like kailm getting reader a dog leash and collar on them and tells them to keep the dog collar on but he puts the leash on whenever he seems them

How do you think the others would feel see kailm practically say he owns them as his

tw/cw: humiliation, forced pet play, dehumanization.

It’s not particularly a fetish, to Kalim at least. He doesn’t take any sexual pleasure, you are treated like a dog and that’s that. Kalim knows you aren’t a dog, but he likes it when your by his side where he can run his hands on top of your head, the small jingle of your collar letting him know you’re alive under his care.

You don’t just get the collar because what not, you have to earn it! So then does he let you walk around with a collar of his initials. Anyone outside would think you’re some sort of pervert walking around with a blinged out dog collar, but that’s punishment if you’ve been snappy at him. Then yes, he would let you have it on until he tells you to take it off when it’s bath time. The collar is handmade to fit comfortably and stand out.

He’s not a exhibitionist, but he knows it bothers you when you wear the collar outside of his bedroom. Again, don’t be a brat and he won’t have to drag you around with a leash and have you bark for forgiveness, he gets upset if you cry during the process.

In fact Kalim has a collection of collars for you depending on the occasion or outfit he puts you in.

This is who you choose, if you choose Kalim then he’ll gladly call you his. Everything you have and own is his anyways, so thank him nicely by rolling over. I’ll pick out three interesting characters seeing this side of Kalim.

Jade would be so curious as to how Kalim has you so obedient. To him, it’s hilarious seeing you prance around with shiny collar, because you look so comfortable. Kalim has no issue having Jade circle around you like a shark as he cups his chin, he’s polite to keep his hands to himself but his eyes assault you entirely.

It’s rude to laugh in Kalim’s presence, so once he corners you alone he’s pressing his knuckles to his lips to hide his grin. Aren’t you embarrassed? You can’t even stand for yourself, but it was bound to see you being treated like a dog. A well taken care of dog at that, you learn to respect and appreciate. Don’t go crying to Kalim, he’s just messing with you, a little tug at your collar shouldn’t bruise, but Jade enjoys having his gloved hands scratch at the top of your head as if ears were actually there.

Kalim managed to do it before he could. Lilia is a little jealous he didn’t think of it sooner. You look so nice with a collar around your neck. Pray he isn’t around Kalim when you’re present, Kalim has an issue of letting his friends push you around for laughs. Whether Kalim knows of Lilia’s behavior towards you you’re royally fucked. It’s the same when being punished except Kalim doesn’t see it that way, so he smiles through when Lilia asks if you could play ball for a while. He doesn’t play fair by the way.

Lilia has you bark for him when he’s chatting idly with Kalim. You need something? Just whine and bat those lashes, then will be put whatever he was focused on down and place his elbows on his knees to give you his fullest attention. Lilia is obsessed with this dynamic that he uses it on you regularly but with a more aggressive approach.

So humiliating, he would never show his face anywhere ever again. Luckily, it’s you and not Idia. At first Idia had mixed feelings about it, of course Mr. Sunshine is a freak hiding behind bright smiles. Although, he is a bit envious he gets all of your attention, if you were with him he would have made you into a beastmen if you wanted to be a dog so bad. Idia’s intentions and view point on you being treated like a dog is way different than what Kalim had in mind. Who’s the freak now?

You know some people are into these sort of things? Forcing and treating a human being like a pet, (mind you Idia prefers felines so as a mutt breed it’s what you deserve) degraded as to nothing worth more than a responsibility. Idia could make some good money for this, not that he needs it but it’s priceless watching you beg him not to encourage Kalim to agree. He won’t, Kalim isn’t dumb, he’ll scold Idia with how unruly he’s treating his puppy. Idea definitely gained some new fetish.

[thewistlingbadger]

In the Arcane fandom we've discussed in length about blame and fault and "where things went wrong." Over the years we've tried to pinpoint the exact moment "things went wrong" we've talked about all sorts of hypotheticals and we've come to the conclusion that the events of arcane were avoidable but inevitable. Silco would have taken Jayce's deal had it not been for the Jinx Clause in it, but Jinx is the only reason Jayce offers him the treaty in the first place. If Jinx didn't steal the hex gem, then Jayce would have never became a councilor, vi would have never gotten out of Stillwater, and she would have never met Caitlyn. We like to think that had certain things not have occurred, things could have been different. Maybe things would have been different had the kids not went on that job, had Jinx stayed home, etc. But ultimately, even if certain actions hadn't been taken, similar results would have been occured. Silco was going to strike regardless of what happened, tragedy would have occurred anyways. It's a devastating and beautiful truth of arcane.

Which is why I just can't get behind episode seven of Arcane's second season. Its nature completely dismisses this aspect of the first season that was a key part of what made Arcane, Arcane. Episode 7 not only ignores the fact that "actions have consequences", it ignores the potential avenues those consequences have, and it ignores the idea of choice entirely.

Episode seven explores an alternate timeline where Vi died in the heist that occurred in the first episode of the series. This is a possibility I don't think anyone in the fandom has ever considered, it just seems so random. This is a change in the universe that is based on the chance that Vi was too close to the explosion and not the choice that she made to partake in the heist in the first place. We then see that several things in the AU are completely different than the actual timeline of Arcane. We see that Mylo and Jinx get along well, that Jinx and Ekko are dating, that Zaun and Piltover are at peace, that Silco and Vander have reconciled. But we're never shown how these changes came to be, what inspired them. This is once again is an erasure of choice. There were so many AUs they could have given us to explore the potential consequences of the characters' actions and the characters themselves. AUs that would have probably been more interesting and more insightful and could have furthered character development and also, would have just made more sense. I struggle with the fact that episode seven explores a "everything is good" au and NOT a "what if" au, when there's so many potential "what ifs" season one established.

As is, it doesn't make sense that Vi's death would result in the positive reunion of silco and Vander or the peace between the two cities. But imagine if this was a what if au instead. What if the au we got was an au where Vander agreed to fight with Silco in episode three? What if the au was an au where Ekko never gave them the tip about Jayce? What if it was an au where Felicia never died, or an au where the brothers never split? Any of these aus would have been super interesting and would have made more sense given the results we see in episode seven.

Particularly, I think it would have been very good to explore an au where Ekko never gave the tip. As is, we actually don't know much about Ekko and his character, who he is. Had they gone with this au, they could have explored Ekko's potential guilt for giving the tip. But as is, episode 7 doesn't actually explore Ekko's characters, despite the fact that he's the main character of this episode. We don't learn anything new about Ekko in this episode. He starts the episode wanting to go home and that stays the same the entire time.

Episode seven really just eliminates any choice in my eyes it just seems like things just magically click into place, which is so disappointing for a show like Arcane. This was the perfect opportunity to explore actions/consequences and instead they opted out for randomness and chance instead.

[corallapis]

‘wait, it’s all the master?’ ‘always has been’: or, So Why Do People Think the War Chief & the Master Are the Same Character, Anyway?

hello, it is i, sebastien, resident master=war chief truther. as you can imagine, i’m currently having the time of my life enjoying one of the few bright gems from the mess that was the war games in colour. i mean, of course, the master’s themes (yes, themes with an ‘s’) playing over the war chief, giving a very unsubtle nod to the wide-held belief that the two characters are one and the same.

but why, perhaps you’ve wondered, do people think that? is it just that some master-obsessed fans see a time lord villain and can’t stretch their imaginations enough to conceive of there being more than one bad guy who’s run away from gallifrey and made an enemy of the doctor? no. come on, give us some credit! i freely admit to being master-obsessed, and find the vibes very compelling, what i truly like to deal in is Cold Hard Lore, straight from the text. and, boy is there a lot of it! to summarize:

the war chief was introduced in the war games, written by malcolm hulke and terrance dicks. (dicks, of course, was also co-creator of the master, with barry letts). based on the novelizations, i firmly believe that malcom hulke intended his character, the war chief, to be the master. dicks also hinted along these same lines.

but, i hear you cry, didn’t dicks go on to write timewyrm: exodus, which shows us a future incarnation of the war chief that isn’t the master? yes, because the official editioral line for the vmas & vnas was that the war chief & the master were to be treated as two distinct characters. this caused more than one writer who personally believed them to be the same to write otherwise in a professional capacity. writers still dropped hints or left space open to link the two despite this editorial limitation.

and what about magnus, the guy who’s well-known in current fandom as the “academy era” version of the war chief? magnus was originally written as a younger incarnation of the master, not the war chief. in flashback, goth opera, and invasion of the cat-people, the character of magnus is a young master. so why did gary russell retcon the character in divided loyalties to be the war chief instead? he did so out of respect for david mcintee, who had recently written an early master story which used the koschei. despite divided loyalties’ portrayal of magnus and koschei as separate characters, it actually in large part serves to conflate the two further, due to said retconning.

in faction paradox lore, the war king is a version of the master (i don’t need to make a post on that, do i?) that was also once the war chief.

craig hinton’s rejected pda time’s champion (ultimately completed & published after his death, by chris mckeon) explicitly depicts the war chief as an incarnation of the master, as well as reasserting that magnus was the name the master used at the academy.

and now also the music choices in the war games in colour :)

of course, this list of Evidence (elucidated in detail below the cut) doesn’t mean you’re obligated to think the war chief is the master (canon, in doctor who more than most, is what you make of it), but i hope it gives you idea of the long history of the character(s) and why other people do!

the ‘70s target novelizations

the essential thing to know about the early target novelizations is that they were written to be self-contained, so that they could be enjoyed by an audience that hadn't seen the show. they weren’t written in the same order as the television serials, and as such only assumed reader knowledge of previous novelizations, not tv stories. for example, in doctor who and the doomsday weapon (aka colony in space) jo grant is shown joining unit and meeting the doctor for the first time, despite having done so three stories earlier and in completely different circumstances from a tv perspective, because that is the first novelization her character appears in. got it? good.

doctor who and the doomsday weapon (aka colony in space) is also the first novelization to feature the master, and was written by malcolm hulke in 1974. it begins with a scene that doesn’t occur in the tv story, where a senile old time lord tells his apprentice about the theft of two tardises by a pair of time lords now calling themselves the doctor & the master:

“There have been two stolen, you know.” The younger Time Lord didn’t know. “By our enemies?” he asked. “No. By Time Lords. They both became bored with this place. It was too peaceful for them, not enough happening.” The old Keeper smiled to himself, as though remembering with some glee all the fuss when two TARDISes were stolen. “One of them nowadays calls himself ‘the Doctor.’ The other says he is ‘the Master.’”

this ‘only two tardises stolen’ business is a big deal in hulke’s novelizations, as we will come to see. and, just to clarify, there's no question of this meaning the master might be being conflated with the monk here — the time meddler won't be novelized until 1988. remember, the novelizations are self-contained, and do not rely on knowledge of previous tv stories. except the older time lord continues, and a little further on says:

“There were tens of thousands of humans from the planet Earth, stranded on another planet where they thought they were re-fighting all the wars of Earth’s terrible history. The Doctor” — he interrupted himself — “I told you about him, didn’t I?” “Yes,” said the young Time Lord, now used to the old Keeper forgetting what he had already said. “You mentioned the Doctor and the Master.” “No, it wasn’t the Master,” said the old Keeper in his confused way. “The Master never does anything good for anyone. He’s thoroughly evil. Now what was I saying?”

‘wait,’ you say, ‘you just made a whole point of the novelizations being self-contained. but the war games wasn't novelized until 1979, so readers wouldn't know about it yet. why is hulke bringing it up now?’ why indeed? hulke summarizes the events and specifically brings them up in relation to the doctor & the master. the facts are presented to us: a) there were only two tardises stolen, by the doctor and the master. b) they went by different names at some point. c) this seems to have something to do with the war games. d) it maybe wasn’t exactly the master in the war games (but perhaps he was calling himself something else then?). it is quite ambiguous — the keeper's confusion leaves it open to interpretation, but the fact that this whole little scene serves as an introduction to the master (he steals the keeper's files in order to discover the doomsday weapon) is, in my mind, quite an extraordinary hint, especially when paired with hulke's novelization of the war games.

later that same year, in doctor who and the sea-devils, hulke again brings up the two stolen tardises, which we will get back to:

“But what use is your TARDIS to you while you’re stuck in here?” Jo asked. “It would be difficult for you to understand,” said the Master, “but my TARDIS is my proudest possession.” The Doctor laughed. “You don’t even own it! You stole it from the Time Lords!” “As you stole yours!” retorted the Master.

terrance dicks then wrote doctor who and the terror of the autons in 1975. additional info is added to the scene between the doctor and the time lord who comes to warn him about the master’s arrival on earth:

“As a matter of fact, I’ve come to bring you a warning. An old friend of yours has arrived on Earth.” “One of our people? Who is it?” The Time Lord pronounced a string of mellifluous syllables — one of the strange Time Lord names that are never disclosed to outsiders. Then he added, “These days he calls himself the Master.”

he uses the master’s gallifreyan name first and then provides his title. again, this suggests that the last time the doctor & the master met the latter was using a different name.

then, we’re given a description of the master, including:

Already he had been behind several Interplanetary Wars, always disappearing from the scene before he could be caught. If ever he were caught, his fate would be far worse than the Doctor’s exile. Once captured by the Time Lords, the Master’s life-stream would be thrown into reverse. Not only would he no longer exist, he would never have existed. It was the severest punishment in the Time Lords’ power.

which brings to mind the war games, certainly intended to be an interplanetary war (with the eventual aim of ruling the galaxy) even if it never really got off the ground. more significantly, though, the punishment described here is exactly what the time lords did to the war lord in the war games & what they would have done to the war chief, if he hadn’t escaped. (note even stories that don't posit the war chief as the master assume he escaped, despite his onscreen death — he is a time lord, after all.) and, speaking of that escape, the doctor asks:

“Is his TARDIS still working?” “I’m afraid so. He got away before it could be de-energised.” “Then he was luckier than I,” said the Doctor sadly. He had never really got used to his exile.

the master’s escape described here could, of course, mean some general, unseen-by-us escape from the time lords by the master, but the conversation strongly suggests that the doctor and the master were escaping from the same event: the master was ‘luckier’ than the doctor because he succeeded, while the doctor’s tardis was captured and he was forced into exile. and that happened, of course, in the war games.

which in 1979, malcolm hulke wrote the novelization for. in doctor who and the war games, a change occurs when the war chief invites the doctor to rule with him:

“Now I understand,” said the Doctor. “It’s my TARDIS that you want. But surely you have one of your own?” The War Chief smiled. “No more mine than yours is really yours! We are both thieves, Doctor. Yes, I do have a TARDIS hidden away. But are not two better than one? While I rest and enjoy the spoils of victory, you can patrol our empire. And I shall do the same for you.” “Our empire?” “We shall rule the galaxy without fear of opposition,’ the War Chief said confidently. “For we shall be the only two who can travel through both space and time.”

this invitation is, of course, very reminiscent of the master’s ‘half-share in the universe’ proposal, but much more significantly: their empire will be secure because they have the sole two stolen tardises. crucially, this is a deviation from the tv story, wherein the doctor realizes the war chief is allying with him because he doesn’t have a tardis of his own, only the failing sardits. hulke intentionally chose to amend his own story to emphasize this, and we know these two stolen tardises are the doctor's & the master's, as hulke told us in previous novelizations. thus, there's no doubt in my mind that malcolm hulke, co-creator of the war chief, intended his character to be the master.

all other master=war chief lore is building off of what was implied in the novelizations, some more explicitly, some less.

virgin books says no

in 1991, terrance dicks wrote a vna, timewyrm: exodus. in this novel, the war chief appears as a botched two-bodied regeneration after his death at the end of the war games, called dr. kriegslieter. as said in the beginning of this post, virgin’s editorial policy nixed the idea of a connection between the war chief and the master. but, reading timewyrm: exodus, there seem to be shades of him anyway. like when the doctor realizes who kriegslieter is:

And behind them, aiding them, manipulating them, giving them the time technology they needed, the Time Lord renegade who called himself the War Chief. Or, in German, der kriegslieter. “Well, he couldn’t have spelled it out for me much more plainly,” muttered the Doctor.

he really couldn't have. just like all the times the master’s alias has been an exceedingly obvious translation of his own name. and then there's also kriegslieter’s plan, which is to steal the doctor's body to use as his own (complete with sexual innuendo):

“Once I have wrested from it the secret of the TARDIS, your mind will be of no further interest to me. But your body…” “Please,” said the Doctor, looking embarrassed. “Ladies present.” “We are both Time Lords, Doctor, our brains and our bodies are compatible. Regeneration therapy is far beyond the War Lord’s scientists, but even they can manage a simple brain transplant.” Kriegslieter studied the Doctor with detached, clinical interest. “To be honest, it isn’t the body I would have chosen but it’s infinitely superior to the one I have. When all this is over Doctor, I shall be you — and you, or whatever shattered gibbering remnant of you is left, will be me. Appropriate, don’t you think? A crippled mind in a crippled body…”

this was, of course, the master’s plan in the keeper of traken (and many others since). in addition ‘we are both time lords’ is a direct echo of both the war chief in the war games and delgado in the mind of evil, the claws of axos, and colony in space.

kriegslieter also calls seven ‘my dear doctor’ throughout, which is not a quirk of speech that the war chief has been ever shown to have. i can't claim it's unique to the master, but i think there's a certain history there. (did you know ainley says it five times in one 50 min long serial?)

similar can be said about the dark path, written by david mcintee in 1997, which explores a villain origin story for the master. though early drafts of the novel mentioned the war chief as a separate character, this was cut before publication (and can be found instead in the charity anthology perfect timing). on mcintee’s tumblr, he indicated that he left the ending ambiguous in order to facilitate other incarnations between the koschei of the novel and delgado’s appearance on-screen, specifically citing edward brayshaw (the actor who portrayed the war chief) as an example. mcintee also posited, in the tags of a gifset of the war chief: ‘#depending on your point of view #the master #or not #does it matter?’ and on another, cryptically, ‘#oh if only i could tell you-’

i think it matters in some sense, or else i’d probably not be writing this post! but again, it goes to show that writers during the virgin era were aware of the connection between the two characters, whether their views on the subject aligned with the editorial line or not.

magnus, as the master

as said before, the character of magnus was introduced in the comic flashback, which appeared in the doctor who magazine winter special for 1992, edited by gary russell & written by warwick gray. it depicts seven and benny viewing a scene from the doctor’s past, where two old friends, thete and magnus, are at odds.

BENNY: Pistols at ten paces, anyone? DOCTOR: Yes… ‘Thete’ and ‘Magnus’. Funny how old nicknames can stick. They were good friends once. A long time ago.

magnus was, at the time of this comic's creation, meant to be the master. there is no connection to the war chief in this story. which is why when goth opera, written by paul cornell, is published in 1994, magnus is the name used for the young master when listing out the doctor's school friends:

“That was when I was young and wild, Doctor. My contemporaries and I grew up to take our responsibilities seriously.” “Ah…” The Doctor nodded. “Unlike my year. I begin to see.” “Yes.” Ruath warmed to her subject, sipping from the goblet. Her eyes never left the Doctor’s. “Mortimus, the Rani, that idiot Magnus. And you, Doctor. All graduates of Borusa’s Academy for scoundrels.”

and, in 1995, when gary russell wrote invasion of the cat-people, he again used magnus as a name for the young master, referencing the master running out of lives far more quickly than the doctor by the time of the deadly assassin:

Polly smiled. “I’m glad you’re completely recovered, Doctor. You had us worried, you know.” “Regeneration’s a tricky thing,” he said. “And it was my first one. Always the trickiest. They’re supposed to get better as they go on, so long as you don’t flitter them. Always used to say to my academy chum Magnus, ‘Magnus,’ I’d say, ‘Magnus, don’t throw old bodies away like you would a suit. They don’t grow on trees.’ Or something like that. Never listened though.”

then, when gary russell wrote divided loyalties in 1999, he followed mcintee’s lead in using koschei as the name for a younger master, and instead retconned magnus as a younger war chief, showing the two of them interacting during the doctor’s academy days. for someone who doesn’t think the war chief and the master are the same (and russell doesn’t), this was a strange move… surely naming the young war chief character quite literally anything else would’ve neatly severed the two, but using a name already established as the young master’s just confuses the whole thing and leaves them even more intertwined than before.

(if you’re a fan of the academy era and strongly adhere to the lore in divided loyalties and so this is a particular sticking point for you, remember that all the academy era scenes we see in the novel are actually part of a nightmare the fifth doctor is having — who’s to say he didn’t dream his best friend as two different people? he forgot which one of them killed a guy with a rock, after all…)

the war chief king

in the book of the war, the 2002 faction paradox ‘encyclopedia’ edited by lawrence miles, the entry on the war king (the master, as he was known as president of gallifrey during the war in heaven) states:

His personal assistant notes that his office is brimming with official business, but devoid of decoration. The only concession he makes to sentimentality are the components of a hypercube, twelve white squares stacked neatly on his desk. Its significance is unclear, but it’s thought to be the War King’s last remaining link with his unfortunate past.

the very first use of a hypercube was, of course, at the end of the war games, when the second doctor used it to call in the time lords. though an allusion to the war chief was not the author of that entry's original intention, the connection was made in readers’ minds and became an established part of faction paradox lore, becoming even more firmly cemented as other writers ran with it. the war king spells it out himself in the 2021 audio sabbath and the king by aristide twain:

THE WAR KING: I have failed to introduce myself. I am— ah, but as we have just seen: names have power. I do not think I shall grace you with one of my true names, Sabbath, no, not yet. Let’s see. The Deathless? Oh, let us not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Chief and Master, Minister and Magistrate, President and King… I have been many things.

twain again linked the two characters in the 2023 short story the god who came for christmas, a sequel to the 1986 fasa ttrpg adventure the legions of death. fasa portrays the war chief and the master as separate characters, but twain bridges this gap in a particularly masterful way.

time’s champion

and finally we have time’s champion, originally written in the '80s(?) by craig hinton, completed by chris mckeon in 2008 as a charity publication. first, we have mel stumbling upon a corridor of portraits in the tardis:

Her first impression was that the Doctor was at the end of a long, thin corridor. And then she realised what the corridor was. An art gallery, the length hung with paintings, from the doorway to the far distance. As she started padding silently along the corridor, she looked at the paintings, and saw they were all portraits. Portraits painted in a variety of styles, from photo-realistic to impressionist, and everything in between. And she recognised some of the subjects. […] Moving on, Mel had hoped for something a little less depressing, but it wasn’t to be. The atmosphere had changed again: it was still cold, but a sterile light was now bathing the area. Then she realised why: the sterility, the coldness — trademarks of the Time Lords. This must be the Doctor’s own people. Pride of place was given to the Master — or rather the Masters: the familiar, music-hall villain in his velvet penguin suit had been captured in all his melodramatic glory, but there was also a suave, older man, his eyes radiating a fierce, evil intelligence wrapped in charm, next to which was positioned the portrait of a young, satanically handsome man with long, sharp sideburns and a thin, beard-length moustache, whose hand vainly clutched at a strange medallion hanging around his neck, as if clinging to the only power in his possession. And then there was an image of the cadaver, that rotting corpse that Mel knew was all that remained of the Doctor’s oldest friend and oldest enemy, animated by nothing but pure malice and spite.

the description of the ‘satanically handsome man’ is obviously the war chief.

and then, the doctor remembers events from his past:

The night time vanished into the shadows of light, as new images, all familiar, threw themselves past the Doctor’s eyes: his tedious years at the Academy, his rise in the Time Lord hierarchy, his flight from Gallifrey, the early years of his exile, the planet of the War Games and his reunion with the Master, the lost years of imposed servitude to the Time Lords, all his memories and so many more impressed their way across the Doctor’s vision, even up to the moment of the present day. Then, abruptly, the vision ended. The Keeper began to speak again.

his reunion with the master occurs during the war games and precedes his exile (which is when his meeting with delgado’s master occurs).

and magnus is once again used as a name for the young master:

The Doctor and Benton managed to glimpse him as he raced past. He was young, with a curving moustache and a dark, haughty face accustomed to obedience but now shadowed and twisted by fear. He ran onwards without even pausing to acknowledge their presence. He seemed desperate to outrun something. Moments later, a group of well-armed and uniformed men rounded the corridor and also hurried past the Doctor’s party, following the fleeing man in their wake. Steadying himself against the cool stone wall at his side, the Doctor watched the squad pass, recognising them as members of the Chancellery Guard, but clothed in armour and dress from the long departed era of his days in the Academy. The Doctor paused, wondering where he had seen that face before. “Magnus?” the Doctor whispered. Benton stepped over to the Doctor. “Who was that bloke those boys were chasing after, Doc? He looked a bit like the Master.” The Doctor gazed into the distance. “That he did, and for good reason.”

for good reason indeed :)

[cinnamon-bunni]

hi hello! i participated in the @obeymeholidayexchange, to which i got the chance to write something for @sheepthatgobaa! the prompt that i had used was "solomon, luke, and simeon shopping together", and so i hope i did the prompt justice!!! and i hope you enjoy it, kelo!!! <3

word count: 1.5k

Simeon hadn't moved from his spot for a handful of minutes, now. He stood there, staring at the wall of boxed cereal, as other patrons walked around him. There's then a distinct sound of footsteps against the flooring, stopping at Simeon's side.

"You're still here?" Solomon asked. "I thought you would've moved on by now."

Simeon frowned, eyeing the three, four, five different brands in front of him, all the boxes decorated in different brightly colored mascots. "I'm not sure which to get. Why are there so many different options for the same flavors...?"

"I'm sure Luke won't mind what you get," Solomon said with a shrug. "I have a feeling he'd rather have a proper breakfast in the morning, anyway. I'll probably be the only one actually eating it." He then stepped forward and plucked one of the boxes off of the shelf. He shot Simeon a grin. "It's actually been forever since I've had cereal like this. I wonder if it tastes the same or not..."

Simeon knew Solomon had a point; he doubted Luke would want any of this besides having home-made pancakes or french toast. It did seem something Solomon would snack on throughout the day, especially when he got caught up with his studies and didn't eat as much as he needed to. Maybe Luke would like it as some sort of midday snack, too.

Speaking of... 

"Wasn't Luke with you?" Simeon asked. 

Solomon, who had grabbed another box and was comparing the two in each of his hands, said absent-mindedly, "Oh, I sent him to grab the fruits for us. Figured it'd be faster if we sent him to grab a few things for us, since you keep getting distracted by things in here."

Simeon flushed at the sorcerer's teasing tone. "I've never been in a human grocery store before," he defended, "and everything's so different here compared to the Celestial Realm. Even the Devildom's shops are different."

The produce and items sold in the Devildom was something Simeon was still getting used to. It would take a bit of time, but he was trying his best and then some, because Luke was having a hard time adjusting to their new transfer student lifestyle, whether the younger angel wanted to admit it or not. He struggled eating anything he didn't recognize, and was deeply uncomfortable with the dangerous ingredients that were used in demon cuisine. Solomon had been the one to suggest a trip to the Human Realm for a food run, to hopefully find things that Luke would like.

Based on how Luke's eyes had lit up when they first entered, clearly excited by things all around him but didn't want to say, Simeon would say that Solomon's idea was a major success.

"I suppose I should find him, make sure he's safe," Simeon said. "Do you mind watching the cart for me?" The cart, which was filled with a mix of ingredients for dinners and desserts, as well as knick-knacks and miscellaneous pieces that had caught Simeon's eyes. They hadn't even gotten their fruits or vegetables yet. He would have to make room.

"Of course," Solomon said with a wave of his hand, almost hitting someone with the box in his hand. His eyes were still glued on the other cereal box he held. "You go make sure Luke is following the list. I'll...be here. For a bit. Might need his opinion on this, anyway."

Simeon doubted Luke would have any sort of opinion on cereal, but he kept it in mind to ask. The produce section of the store really wasn't that far from the aisle Simeon had been in, but from every stop he took to inspect something that looked interesting, one would think it was across the whole building. By the time Simeon got there, noticing Luke's hat from the crowd of people that were shopping, he had three boxes of ice pops that piqued his interest based on the flavors alone.

"Luke! Come see what I got!"

To be fair, Simeon probably shouldn't have shouted; he winced in apology as people around him shot dirty looks, and felt bad when he saw Luke startle. The boy had been on his tiptoes in order to see the whole display of apples, all piled on top of another. The surprised look on his face changed when he met Simeon's eyes; cheeks puffed out, and in spite of the mesh bag of oranges he held, crossed his arms. He was trying to replicate the look that Michael often had when he caught any angels slacking off; while a chilling look on the older angel, it just looked plain adorable on Luke.

"Simeon, don't scare me like that!" he chided. Simeon gave an apologetic smile; in place of teasing Luke for his cute mannerisms, he held up the boxes.

"Which one do you want?" Simeon asked. He'd rather not get all of them, if he could help it. He and Solomon both agreed to a budget before entering, and Simeon would rather not go over it, if it could be helped.

Luke frowned, arms uncrossed.

"Oh. I like the look of the watermelon one." Simeon hummed as he faced the boxes back toward himself. "I agree. Isn't it cute that they made it look like an actual watermelon with the colors? And the seeds are pieces of chocolate."

There was a glimmer in Luke's eyes. "We should get that, then," he said with finality.

"I'll put the others back," Simeon said. "What were you up to?"

"Oh." Luke looked back up at the apple display. "I was trying to figure out which ones I wanted to get. There's a lot of different types, I wasn't sure which we would want."

"Let me see." Simeon approached the apples, grabbing one to inspect. The little sticker on it labeled the large apple as a honey crisp, with the rest of the same having to share the display space with the fuji apples. "Do you have a plastic bag?"

"Right here!" Luke dutifully handed one to Simeon. He thanked the younger angel for his helpfulness, and placed an apple in it.

"We'll only get a few," he said as he inspected another, "to see if we like it."

"Maybe we can make something with it," Luke commented, picking up an apple of his own to look over. "Maybe not for baking, we'd need the green ones for that, wouldn't we?" Simeon hummed in acknowledgement as Luke added his apple into the bag. "But maybe we could make some cider out of it?"

"I think certain apples are better than others for that sort of thing," he commented, "but maybe we could look into it when we get back."

Luke beamed at that, nodding enthusiastically. Simeon couldn't help but match the smile as he picked out the final apple.

"Do you mean that?" Luke asked eventually. The pair had wandered over to the stand of pears not too far off. "We can come back here again sometime?"

"Of course!" Simeon answered, "I don't see why not."

"I didn't know if this was a one time thing or not," Luke explained. "To be honest, I was kinda nervous coming here...but this shop is so much better than the ones in Devildom!"

"I'm glad you think so," Simeon chuckled. "And I'm sure no one will mind if we pop by here from time-to-time in order to buy a few things. Diavolo seems pretty lenient on this sort of thing; I'm sure that as long as we stay on top of our studies, he wouldn't mind."

Luke nodded at that, and stayed silent.

"You know, Solomon mentioned that he needed your opinion on something, if you want to go find him. I can take over the fruit and produce section." Luke's mouth twisted into a frown, causing Simeon to mirror the expression. "Unless you don't want to...?"

"Um-" Luke shifted his weight between his feet. "I was hoping to stay with you, for now. I can help carry all the bags! And there's not much more on the list, I can help get the rest!"

"Oh, alright," Simeon said, his smile never lessening. "Though, you do know you'll have to get used to Solomon one of these days, right? We live with him now; it's not like he's going to bite if you get too close."

Luke's face flushed. "I know! I'm perfectly fine with being around him--he's a little weird, but it's not like he's a demon! I mean, I might've been a bit afraid of him at first, but he's been nice." His face then scrunched up. "Even though his food is..."

Simeon laughed. "Inedible?" he supplied.

"I think it goes past just inedible..."

"Well, I suppose we'll just have to make sure that we're the ones to cook all our meals, won't we?"

"Right."

"Now then, I think we have enough pears for now. What's next on the list?"

The pair go down together, grabbing one item and the next. It ended being Solomon finding them instead, catching up with them with the cart. Simeon smiled at the sight of three added cereal boxes, but didn't say anything. He watched with amusement as the sorcerer asked for Luke's opinion on all of them, insisting that the young angel would enjoy the pebble-shaped chocolate ones.

"We could just get the other ones next time, Solomon," Simeon advised. He saw Solomon pause at that, just for a second, before smiling himself.

"Of course," he said. "Next time."

[quigzahhutt]

📓!

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about!

ok. have you ever watched parent trap. yeah this is basically that but with Franco and sargebon

I like to think that Franco is definitely aware of how much Alex cares about Logan. he's such a little fanboy that theres no way he hasn't noticed the difference in how Alex treats him vs how Alex treated Logan. it doesn't upset Franco at all because. well. if he was horribly in love with his teammate and then said teammate gets replaced by this new kid? yeah Franco would feel a little constipated too

so I imagine that Franco goes into this completely unaware of how badly Logan's replacement actually hit Alex. hes mostly just focused on his own lane and i mean. can you really blame him? he just achieved his dream at 21 years old; he gets to represent his country at a level of competition that nobody has done since the early 2000s. Franco has way more to worry about than the life of the guy who he just replaced

and it sucks, sure. Franco liked Logan a lot; he helped him in Silverstone, he made sure that Franco felt comfortable in the car and the garage and the team environment. Logan was really the first teammate Franco had in williams, in a strange way, so of course he feels sad that Logan was let go in the way he was, but this is in inherently selfish sport. he can't allow himself to dwell on these things

but then he starts seeing how affected Alex is. how he's constantly snuffing out francos jokes with these pitiful little laughs, or how he just seems generally constipated around him, swallowing things down every now and again like he doesn't even want to humor Franco. its a little funny, because before, Alex had no issue joking around and including Franco in their little bits, so something has obviously changed

and so Franco starts trying to solve the puzzle, figure out why Alex is being so flaky. he maybe asks around with george or even James, because he seriously can't be the only one who's noticing this, right? and then someone points out that Alex isn't really acting all that different around them, so maybe it's just a Franco thing

and that kind of turns into a spiral because. well. Franco really likes Alex, and it kind of really sucks that Alex doesn't like him, and what did Franco even do? he hasn't even really hung out with Alex except for videos, or maybe the few times he was with Logan-

oh. now that's a thought

and Franco has the brilliant idea to talk to Logan instead. it's nothing pushy or suggestive, more just... checking on him. because Franco really does care about Logan, and he feels kind of silly now for not even thinking of checking on Logan before

they talk and Logan seems okay, maybe not great but he's better than Alex, that's for sure. maybe. well maybe not. because when Franco says something about Alex, the three little dots keep disappearing and reappearing before Logan eventually just... stops typing, and leaves Franco on read for a few days. and then weeks. and then, fuck, Franco is back to square one

and so maybe Franco brings Logan up to Alex one day to just test the waters, ask if they've talked at all recently, and Alex gets really tense, and asks why hes bringing him up now, or why he thinks that its relevant. its already done; Logan is back in the US already and Franco is here now and so it doesn't matter and he should just leave Alex alone

but this is Franco. and Franco is stubborn and charismatic and so of course he manages to get through to Alex, and it's maybe a whole big thing, maybe it isn't. Alex is upset, but not at Franco, it's more just residual... bad vibes. like Alex ate something funny and for whatever reason it's all Logan's fault

and then shit keeps happening, and the weekends are getting harder, and in a weird way it doesn't take as much of a toll as Franco expected. if anything, the difficulty helps him and Alex get closer, and it doesn't feel like Alex hates him anymore because now at least he's talking to him

and because Franco is stupid and doesn't always think about what he's saying, he eventually just asks what happened with Logan because, y'know, him and Alex are maybe friends now? and although Franco asks, he kind of has an idea about what happened already

he assumes that Alex and Logan had something more going on, the kind of relationship in motorsports that Franco never really had with someone because he could never stick around long enough. Franco was always one of those drivers that went between teams and series and yeah he has friends, but he's kind of okay with it just staying like that

so he can't really understand how Alex feels, but it's kind of eating him up, and then when he asks it's.. fine. it's chill. maybe Alex sighs a little louder than normal, but then he explains everything. how him and Logan were together but not really, how Alex knows that he loves Logan a lot more than Logan does for him

and Franco feels really silly because I mean. watching from a distance, it didnt look like that at all, because Logan looked like he loved Alex a lot, and he seemed absolutely devastated when Franco asked about it. its a strange thing to think that Logan doesn't like Alex at all

and Franco says that. obviously. because his brain to mouth barrier doesn't really exist, and Alex laughs right in his face, which Franco kind of expected because thats usually what people do when he says something without thinking, but then Alex stops laughing and begins looking horribly constipated (again)

Franco decides to shut up after that, which is vaguely impressive for him considering he has about twice the amount of questions he had before all of this. so instead of bothering Alex (who looks REALLY sad now) with those questions, he bothers Logan instead. and maybe its because they're talking through text, but he seems considerably more comfortable answering said questions, which is nice because it helps Franco realize that. oh god. there has been a horrible miscommunication

Logan thinks that Alex was getting tired of him, that he was getting sick of Logan's dwindling energy, but Alex thinks that Logan didn't love him. and Franco thinks that both of them are colossal idiots. and so he hatches a plan

he's going to get them back together. somehow. he doesn't actually know how but what he does know is that Logan just got employed so he might be in high spirits which will make this all a lot easier. hopefully

cue an awful lot of blunders and hijinks in which Franco tries and somewhat fails, somewhat succeeds in getting Logan and Alex to interact, and one thing leads to another and the both of them eventually realize that they got it all wrong and that maybe Alex does want Logan around and that Logan loves Alex in the same way and it's all thanks to franco

[hardly-an-escape]

Hi Nora!! I would love some of 👨🏻 🎁 and 🗣️ for the make me write please! ❤️

hiii! ooh three different ones, thank you so much!

👨🏻 The Trenches Have Vanished Under the Plough (Dreamling) continuing directly on from the last snippet I shared

The first time de Endelas cracked a smile, a real smile, at something Hob had said, it was like the first split in the surface of a frozen pond: there was life, somewhere below. Much later, Hob would try to remember what it was he’d said that had drawn out that smile, had crinkled the edges of Morpheus’s ice blue eyes. He could never quite pin it down, but he thought that was the moment when everything had changed.

🎁 untitled BuckTommy Love Actually homage (911) okay it was mayyybe a little ambitious of me to include this one on the list, because it's not so much a WIP as it is an idea... but thank you for getting me to get at least a few words down! who knows if this one will ultimately go anywhere...

They've been talking again, is the thing. Trying to be friends. It's tentative and a little stilted sometimes and it's… fine. Talking only makes Buck want to jump Tommy's bones about 20% of the time, and peel his own skin off an additional 30% of the time. So that leaves 50% normal conversation, which is fine. The fact that he's still painfully in love with Tommy is maybe a little less fine, but whatever. Can you even still be in love with a person if you never said you love them in the first place? Can you love them more? Because that's what it feels like. Every time he grabs a beer with Tommy and Chim and laughs for an evening over their latest ridiculous call, he loves him a little more. Every time they text, every time they end up at the same scene or the same bar, he falls a little harder.

🗣️ Conversations (911) in this chapter, Tommy and Josh have bumped into each other at a coffee shop while Tommy is definitely not wallowing

"Hi," he says. "Do you mind if I sit? I'll only bother you for a minute, I promise." "It's a free country," Tommy responds, and winces internally, hoping he doesn't sound as bitchy as he feels. Josh sits. "Look, there's not really an easy way to say this," he says. "But I think I owe you an apology." "What could you possibly need to apologize to me for?" Tommy asks, genuinely puzzled. "It's kind of a long story. But, uh… Buck came to dispatch to talk to Maddie, a day or so after your – after your anniversary. And I sort of – well. Inserted myself into their conversation. And I think I may have given Buck some misguided advice?"

make me write by sending me an emoji!

[razzledazzletrassh]

no major fic updates just yet guys TAKE MY WOY OC I MADE LIKE. April of last year IM PLUGGING SOME INFO ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TAGS.

I may also redesign her soon or something. Make her more bug-like with some stuff. I can cook guys let me cook !!!

[blujayonthewing]

SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it

[reticent-fate]

part 2/26? (might be restructuring uploads so it might be 27 parts instead. dw about it.)

from the beginning

inspired by the whole genre of otherkin hrt comics (obviously, i just forgot to mention it in the body of the first part)

[harvestmoth]

heres my one page thesis on why hinomori mafuyu real

[nexus-nebulae]

Ok so a long while back I had a story with a trio of main characters who each represented a core aspect of the world they were trying to protect: the natural, the technological, and the magical (a human, a sentient AI, and a shapeshifter witch)

and then a few years later I made a sequel to it with a new trio and somehow by complete accident made them represent the same things as the first trio except this time combined with elements of another aspect (a human who finds out he's more magical than he expected (he's a demigod), a shapeshifter being who relies on tech for communication and accessibility (he can only turn into a few things and none of them are very expressive or mobile), and a sentient android that looks so human almost nobody can tell he's not (even his best friends))

and the whole point of the first story was those initial three protecting their world from people who wanted to separate or eliminate one of the three elements (trying to get rid of magic and technology altogether), and the reason why i wrote the second story was to write something a few decades into the future showing the impact those first characters had in bringing those elements together. and i accidentally put the perfect themes into the new main trio