#i actually had an overall decent time this year but with work and family and everything I feel like I’m just an empty tired sack of wanting

[sunsbleeding]

Okay so all the Christmas stuff …is done now?? .. I can rot?? With peace and love I can rot?….

[bengiyo]

Ben’s Big BL Blurb 2: Fall is Finally Here

I am simply too busy with worth, family, other hobbies, and life to write about every show in real time anymore. I’m sorry to all the Stray Thoughts readers who’ve reached out about whether I would pick that back up, and I simply just do not have the time to do them anymore. Instead, I’ll try to do one of these as often as I can to catch up on things.

First, let’s go over some shows I finished recently that I don’t think I wrote much about.

First Note of Love

I was so happy to see Michael back on screen, and I was glad to see that he’s still able to get great chemistry with his co-star. Unfortunately, I don’t think this show was very coherent, so I didn’t get a lot out of it emotionally. It was a pretty inoffensive watch overall, and thus an easy show to put on without having to work through too much. I liked the work between everyone, and Mei Lei was such a fun character. Probably won’t return to this one, though. 

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

This is probably the show of the year for me. There’s so much I loved about this show. I loved that the characters had sex, but were neither rewarded nor punished for it; their sex didn’t solve any problems. I also really love how this show explored how childhood trauma expresses in two different kinds of boys, and I love that we got to see a bully reckon with his actions and get closure. I love that this show ended with them being kinda poor, but happy together. I love how messed up they both were about everything. I loved that Juyeong wasn’t stupid, and could read what was going on.

I clearly need to write a separate post to unpack everything I felt in this show.

Let’s move on to what I’m watching currently, in no particular order…starting with the lesbians, and then the worst BLs.

Apple My Love

Genuinely having fun with this GL. I like how quickly most of the drama plays out. It’s giving me quite a bit of secondhand embarrassment, but I like the characterizations in this show. This new production house brought us Knock Knock, Boys! and Monster Next Door this year. We need to keep an eyes on them. 

Haunted Hearts

I’m so fascinated by Oxin Films teaming up with Regal Entertainment. The leads are very attractive, but the cinematography is really boring. I’m trying to stay invested, but it’s kind of a sleepy watch. Also amused that they started airing a ghost romance right after Halloween ended. I’ve kind of moved on emotionally from the season.

My Damn Business

This show could be good, but it’s not. I struggled with episode 5 because our lead looked more relaxed and happier with his senior than the guy he’s getting into a romance with. There’s something missing here in this one, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I think it’s primarily a side effect of the short run time, but I think the boss’s interest isn’t landing properly for the employee to respond to. 

Eccentric Romance

This show could be good, but it’s not. Still, I am obsessed with a murder mystery being the primary source of confusion between our leads. I was willing to forgive this show a lot of its rough edges, but it failed to handle the turn from friendship to sexual/romance really well. I feel like our guys just started dating and having sex, and I’m a bit frustrated that they didn’t talk about it really at all, particularly since this show features two different languages spoken on screen. Genuinely looking forward to seeing how this one finishes. 

See Your Love

I’m not sure this show is exactly working that well, but everyone is very pretty and I’m having a decent time watching it. I like the way Shao Peng stands up for himself, and I like that nothing that’s happened has been totally unbelievable or unreasonable (at least with the mains). I’ll be curious how the hard of hearing and deaf viewers respond to this one once it’s complete. 

Love is Like a Poison

This show is actually so funny. I love that Shiba is in his own lawyer genre separate from everyone else, and I really like how the two of these guys have become a team. I’m curious how they manage to resolve the scamming next week, but this has been the most unexpected dynamic of the year. 

Love in the Air: Koi no Yukon

MAME won this year, y’all. We all have complicated feelings about her, but she’s secured a loving adaptation from a Japanese team that’s put solid effort into bringing her characters to life. Every character feels correct compared to their Thai counterpart we saw on screen, and that’s a strong sign that the writing behind MAME’s work is strong, even if we all have issues with the way she tackles certain themes. I’m really impressed with this adaptation, and really like this version of Rain.I also feel like this show is doing a better job blending the forthcoming couple focus shift.

Our Youth

We just got this show, but damn does it feel sharp! I’m always going to be a sucker for a cinephile character, and I’m so compelled by the way Minase is drawn to Hirukawa. The scene in episode 2 where Minase has to leave Hirukawa’s house might be one of the most impressive sequences we’ve had in a while, requiring a great deal of choreography and effort from the actors and the camera crew to pull off, and I’m excited to see how these characters split and then come back together. 

Smells Like Green Spirit

Let me just say that I need another Abe Alan appearance when he isn’t playing a character doing horrible things to his students. I’ve enjoyed meditating on the 90s with this show and what that era felt like. I’ve liked how the show has tried to focus on how different parents (especially the moms) have responded to their kids coming to terms with themselves. I’ve also really enjoyed the friendship that’s grown between Mishima and Kirino. I’m struggling with Yumeno a lot, because I’m really not a friend of bully romances. Still, I feel like this is one of those shows I’ll remember for a long time because of its focus on the 90s. 

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I think @lurkingshan covered reactions to episode 5 and episode 6 better than I could, and I loved @twig-tea giving context for the film history moment in episode 6. I remember screaming into the chat for friends to show up for this when I got to that moment. This show has two great pairs of dynamics going on that mirror well. It’s got such a strong handle on its characters’ motivations and how they would respond to the actions from each other. It’s probably the tightest thing I’m watching now, backed by extremely dialed-in performances. I will be thinking about Qi Lu organizing his potential first kiss with Qin Xiao, and how unapologetic he’s been about the entire affair. He’s being selfish here, but I kinda like it. I’m so thankful that we are somehow still getting this show, because goddamn do the Chinese actors deliver on chemistry sometimes.

Interview With the Vampire Season 2

I finished this with a friend last week, and holy fuck is this show still so, so good. We watch a lot of gay romance because of BL, and I am having so much fun watching the show about gay divorce. I loved the time we spent in Paris, Daniel’s shifting role in the narrative, and the new insights we got into Lestat this season. I will miss Claudia so much, and I have to give a standing ovation to Delainey Hayles stepping into the role of Claudia and doing the damn thing this season. I just love seeing my little fucked up gay people torment each other on screen.

I'm still thinking about Louis and Lestat reuniting in a hurricane after Claudia derided this as yet another chapter in their stormy romance.

Dropped Shows

Unfortunately, everyone can’t win. Some of these shows are just too long for me to keep up with them, and oftentimes I get bored. I’ve currently dropped:

Lovesick 2024 - I may go back. We’ll see

Jack & Joker - It’s just too long, and they just killed Jennie and a kid. I’m good.

Fourever You - I’m bored with Earth always playing this character type.

Pluto - Namtam and Film are beautiful, but this looks too messy right now.

Every You, Every Me - Wasn’t intrigued after episode 1, but the commentary may draw me back.

Kidnap - Ohm is not enough to keep me invested in this show. 

Uncle Unknown - How did they make a 6 minute show feel slow?

I’m genuinely not trying to be harsh to Thai shows out here, but I just do not have the time to keep up with all of them when they’re this long and dragging.

Thanks for stopping by, and let me know if there’s something I missed that I should check out.

[witchlingcirce]

Interesting enough: anytime I’ve ever mentioned the circle the topic of how Maryse & Robert’s punishment for there crimes wasn’t a good punishment always comes up because I think it’s quite interesting.

Objectively: no it’s not a good punishment. You’re still giving these bad people, who have committed bad acts- a position of power within your council and within shadowhunters as well.

However I think if you think deeper about it (aka think to much about), there are aspects of it that actually make it seem less bad!

I think something people don’t point out a lot when talking about is that they were never allowed to return home, to Idris. Idk- if someone told me I was never allowed to return home I’d be having a mental breakdown. Idris had been both Maryse and Robert’s home, it had been where they where raising there baby (shout out Alec). To be exiled from your home is quite a big punishment in itself.

Now onto the punishment of them being heads on the institute. In truth, I wouldn’t say being given a position of power is really any sort of punishment- especially one as highly regarded as an institute. However I do think there’s some deeper levels to it: Maryse & Robert are both decently young when given this position- not uncommon among shadowhunters but it’s still enough to stress two 22 year olds out - not to mention they have a 1-2 year old son.

NOT TO MENTION: having to run an institute means having to work with downworlders all the time. Which sure seems stupid because why are you putting these two downworlder haters in charge?? But the clave was definitely watching them to make sure they where on there best behaviour. I mean, Imogen was literally breathing down Maryse’s neck in city of ashes- I can imagine that happened a considerable amount of other times as well. Now they have to learn how to get along with these people who 100% hate them (rightfully so) and now they also need to learn how to actually work with them.

Now I think the punishment actually has one specific thing that makes it a “punishment” is what it did to Maryse and Robert’s relationship. This is a more indirect one, but the exile is literally what ruined there relationship. Robert blamed Maryse for everything that happened - they were both upset they weren’t able to return. There relationship before this was already rocky, and now they’ve also been separated from there friends and family.

So yeah, I agree with the overall sentiment: there should’ve been a harsher punishment taken. Idk maybe at least take some of the lightwoods family heirlooms- or repossess some of the family stuff (like they where lowkey doing to Benedict in clockwork princess).

I also think there punishment is meant to directly reflect how shadowhunter take very highly into familial status and how that also reflects in Hodges character but sigh that’s for another blog post.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Hira's parents and his self-defeating tendencies

I was talking to @sorry-bonebag and @wen-kexing-apologist about what role Hira's parents might have played in creating the weirdness he displays throughout both seasons of Utsukushii Kare & Eternal. I started writing a response and it got too long and, well, now it's a post.

Before I talk about Hira's parents and the tendencies in him that they helped to create, I want to note that family of origin is just one of the influences that form us as people. Parents and caregivers have a huge influence, as do other family members. But so do peers. The bullying about his disability that Hira experiences nearly constantly is one of the biggest influences on his personality.

Hira's parents appear extremely briefly at the very beginning of the series. His mom fusses a bit about him being on his own and his dad is very "he has to take care of himself sometime" about it. We know they took him to specialists for his dysphemia, bought him his camera, etc.

Their departure is a show thing, by the way, and isn't present in the novel. In the novel they continue to live with him through high school and, if I remember correctly, part of college. But they don't play a big role in his life. The main things that happen involving them are either instances of Hira hiding things from them (or attempting to) or instances of his mother briefly, sporadically, having a big burst of worry about him. It would make sense if the show version of his parents were the same way aside from the leaving-him-to-live-alone part of things, though that’s not shown.

The rest of my thoughts are largely headcanon since I’m working backwards from his personality to guess about his formative years, but they match up with the little bit that’s shown in the series and how his parents are in the novel. I see Hira as having a self-defeating personality in a lot of ways. The typical etiology of this kind of personality (the set of conditions that lead up to it) is supposed to be a rather deprived childhood that is punctuated by occasional bursts of parental attention when the child is seen as in crisis somehow (or when they attract attention in other self-defeating ways, like intentionally getting in trouble).

This reminds me of something Nancy McWilliams writes about in Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, attributing the idea to someone named Emmanuel Hammer: “a masochistic person is a depressive who still has hope.” [I should note here that “masochistic personality” is an older term for self-defeating personality that is not meaningfully correlated with masochism in a sexual sense. I think that, despite how he might appear at first glance, Hira actually isn’t sexually masochistic or submissive. I have a whole mostly-written post about this that I hope will see the light of day eventually.] In other words, whereas the background that creates a depressive personality involves deprivation that's intense enough that the person gives up on the possibility of receiving the love they need, the self-defeating personality has had enough success with occasionally getting their needs met that they keep trying. If that’s what happened with Hira, it would be consistent with what we see of his parents in the series. We know they pulled out the stops at certain points when it comes to his dysphemia. Anyone who’s a parent can tell you how hard it is to get a good specialist to see your kid, even when they have some kind of glaring issue and you have decent healthcare access overall. The fact that they managed to get him in with a specialist is notable all on it own. (I actually have some stressful phone calls I need to make today in a similar vein, seeking specialist help for one of my kids.) They also spent a lot of money on a DSLR for a young kid. And yet they’re OK with letting him live alone and after that point remain very hands-off. It also seems like despite the attention they paid to his dysphemia during that one period, by the time of the series they’ve totally stopped trying to support him about it.

Basically, I think his parents are largely neglectful (emotionally rather than materially) but that every so often, they freak out and pay a bunch of attention to him because they perceive him to be in need of rescuing. When he was young, he probably appreciated the attention when it happened, but at the time of the series he gets those needs met in other ways and/or displaces that need for attention onto Kiyoi. The idea of seeking attention in this way maps especially well onto his relationship with Kiyoi, because he seeks Kiyoi’s attention and approval through exactly the sort of strategies typically used by people with self-defeating personalities. Here’s McWilliams again:

Reik (1941) explored several dimensions of masochistic acting out, including (1) provocation [she refers to a previous anecdote about a woman who feared angry outbursts by her partner because of experiences with her father; she would act out in ways that antagonized him in order to “get it over with”], (2) appeasement (“I’m already suffering, so please withhold any further punishment”), (3) exhibitionism (“Pay attention: I’m in pain”), and (4) deflection of guilt (“See what you made me do!”).

I can think of plenty of instances of provocation (the first type). Hira often does things he knows will make Kiyoi angry, and sometimes visibly relishes the negative attention.

One good example is the scene in Eternal where he creates a totally avoidable misunderstanding by vaguely talking about how “a divorce is going to happen” because of an affair, which Kiyoi takes to be referring to their relationship and specifically, to Hira cheating. When Kiyoi rears back to punch him, Hira protests for a moment but then says being killed by Kiyoi is actually a longstanding wish of his. It turns out it’s Naho-chan who is getting divorced because her husband cheated. Hira could easily have spoken more clearly when he brought this up by using subjects in his sentences. When he first brings up divorce, Kiyoi says, “Who are you to decide on your own without me agreeing? What dissatisfaction do you have with me?”, which makes it clear he thinks Hira is referring to something involving him. Yet Hira continues to speak without subjects when he elaborates and says the reason for the divorce is an affair. He only clears up the misunderstanding after Kiyoi has lost all patience and is (legitimately!) freaking out. There's no way this isn't, on some level, intentional.

One version of appeasement (the second type of self-defeating acting out) that McWilliams talks about is criticizing oneself before others can do so. It’s no exaggeration to say that Hira talking himself down to Kiyoi is a defining characteristic of their relationship. There are lots of examples of this but a particularly classic case is his constant refrain about being a “pebble.” His invitation for Kiyoi to “Please hit me as much as you want” after their fight in season 2 is another example of appeasement. 

It’s hard to pin down specific examples of Hira employing the third type of acting out, exhibitionism. It makes sense that they wouldn’t be easy to find, though. This is a very covert type of exhibitionism that doesn’t announce itself. I think you can observe it in subtle ways, though. For example, when Shirota dumps tomato juice on Kiyoi, a bunch of it gets on Hira as well. Afterwards, Kiyoi cleans the juice off of himself as best he can, seemingly as quickly as possible, and changes his clothes. But when he talks to Hira afterward, dried drops of juice are clearly visible on Hira’s face. Acidic juice on one’s face would probably feel uncomfortable, but he intentionally doesn’t wash it off. It’s like he’s wearing these stains as a badge of honor and proof of his mistreatment.

I think deflection of guilt, the fourth type, is less characteristic of Hira than the others. He tends to absorb guilt rather than deflecting it, blaming himself in a way that often takes the form of the self-critical form of appeasement.

I think it's worth noting that he also employs appeasement as a strategy in the hostile environment of high school. His biggest rule in school is to avoid attention as much as possible, so exhibitionism and provocation aren't acceptable options. (He does disobey Shirota in a way that could be considered provocation when the rift between Kiyoi and Shirota first starts to form, but I think that's more a case of overt rebellion.) We don't see him employ deflection of guilt, though his teacher does seem a bit more forgiving of his attack on Shirota given what he knows about Hira's experiences with bullying. But appeasement? When he can't avoid attention entirely, that is his go-to strategy. It doesn't draw much, if any, additional attention this way. He can demonstrate to people who pose a danger to him that he's not a threat and is ready to comply with their orders if it will allow him to avoid mistreatment. It's only when he finds a kind of vicarious strength in Kiyoi (see my post here for more on that aspect of Hira) that he starts to deal with the bullying in other ways.

So, yeah. Hira's parents initially formed these patterns in Hira, peers deepened them, and they came out in his relationship with Kiyoi. A big part of the shift that needs to happen in order for their relationship to last is for Hira to stop using self-defeating strategies to sneakily get his needs met by Kiyoi and start seeking what he needs openly and assertively.

Maybe now would be a good time to brush off those other in-progress Utsukare posts and try to finish them off while I have a bit of momentum, huh?

By the way, if you’re interested in my previous Utsukare posts, I have a master post here with links to everything.

[creedslove]

DESERVE IT - EPILOGUE ✨

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: it's our favorite couple's anniversary, they deserved a celebration and we deserved a glimpse into their lives.

• You can find the rest of this wonderful story on my MASTERLIST

Warnings: fluff, sexual tension, smut (oral m! receiving, piv), fluff and so much fluff

A/N: Hi besties, I know I promised this two weeks ago, but I wasn't in the right place to write for Javi in the last couple of weeks so I delayed this chapter a little because I didn't want to write something I didn't have feelings to add to. Luckily, Javi made his way back into my heart and the inspiration came back, so here's the result, I hope you enjoy it ❤️

8k words (I got carried away)

Javi checked his wristwatch and sighed relieved to see it was still early, he definitely didn't need to arrive late at work on his anniversary day, because that would mean he would have to compensate by staying late at the end of his shift. Which, overall, was usually very calm, as Laredo was a calm city. He barely remembered the last time he had to deal with a death, but it was probably when Leonid had a few too many at the bar and ended up crashing his truck against a cow that broke loose from one of the farms nearby. It was quite a ridiculous death but not only did the old guy die but also the cow too, and Javier as the chief of police had to show condolences to the family after treating the case with as much respect and tenacity as he would treat a murder case in Colombia.

Colombia, he always smiled whenever he thought of that country, the one he very often thought of as hell on Earth. It was nothing personal, he actually liked the country, the food, the culture and for a few years he loved the women there too, but he had ups and downs, and his downs weren't great, quite the opposite, they were traumatic, exhausting and very often made Javi dwell in a spiral of depressing thoughts and heavy drinking.

But his ups were the best, because it was Colombia that had given Javier his wife, you, and he would never trade that for anything in the world. It was that hot, distant country that had provided Javier with the love of his life, and there he was, three years after his wedding day, two kids later - Analuz Peña, two years old and nine-month-old Javier Gabriel Peña, your little Gabe - Javi could tell the whole world he was a happy married man.

Nowadays you and Javi weren't the hot gossip of Laredo anymore, of course people still did talk about the two of you, after all your husband ended up becoming a powerful man in the city and many women were envious of your status, they knew the two of you made decent money but you never spent on anything extravagant, it was a comfortable life, but what people liked to talk about was how happy you always seemed, how Javier had proved everyone wrong and took his marriage and fatherhood seriously. Besides, people had other subjects to talk about, such as how everyone had learned that Leonid, the guy who died in a crash with a cow happened to have two wives, who only learned about each other during the funeral which led the two women into a fight and Javi had to put an end to it.

Later that day, when he got home, you two had shared quite a few laughs at the odd situation, amused to know Laredo had other things to feel interested in.

Life was good for the two of you; you lived on a comfortable ranch, your husband provided to the point you didn't need to get a job, you could stay home with your kids, of course their grandpa very often spoiled them too much, but then, you couldn't complain as Chucho also spoiled you a lot. Your husband was loving, caring, handsome and still every bit of horny for you as he was when you two shared his bed every single night in a small, cramped apartment in Colombia.

It always baffled you to see how happy you became, how good life was to you, and well, even if you got down on your knees every night and thanked God for the family you were blessed with, it would probably not be enough, your babies were your life, and their daddy… wow, he was something else. You loved Javi with all your heart and you felt so proud of him for the man he became, how he overcame his fears, his traumas and was able to make you the happiest woman in the world. You two were meant to be and the clear sign of it was the beautiful family you had.

Analuz was probably the most loved little girl in the whole world, when her grandpa didn't linger around her the entire time, bringing her sliced apples, or ragdolls, or taking her to pet the animals, she was all around Javi. She loved her dada with all her little heart, always waiting up for him to arrive, even if he only got home after her bedtime and you had already tucked her in. She still waited for him, even if it was against the rules, but she needed to give Javi a hug before bed.

And your Javi simply melted. Whoever had met the infamous Agent Javier Peña during his Escobar years, could never imagine a two-year-old would have him around her tiny little finger. The man who helped to take down cartels, killed and arrested many, had to learn how to braid his daughter's soft, silky hair. He had to learn to be patient and sit through animation movies, to play with dolls and to read all the bedtime stories that had to do with fairies, princesses and mermaids.

And he did an outstanding job.

For your anniversary, you and Javi decided to stay home and spend time with your family, unlike the other years, you two wouldn't go out, even if you two had the tradition of going out for a nice meal and some love making. The reason why, had been Gabe's recent teething, which made him feverish and uncomfortable. Of course all you wanted was your baby boy to be alright, but you had already gone through the same thing with Analuz when she was tiny and you knew there wasn't much you could do other than give him the medicine and cuddle your baby until he felt better.

You still felt a little upset about not going on a date for your anniversary but you would never bother Javi with that, you two made a great team, but he also worked a lot and you didn't want to exhaust him more than he already was, between the long shifts in the police station and coming home to a feverish baby.

However, showing why Javier Peña deserved the title of best husband, he had surprised you a few days before your anniversary, announcing he'd invited your aunt to spend a few weeks with you on the ranch. Unlike your mom, your aunt was a kind, loving woman who actually recognized how wonderful Javier was, and embraced your new family as part of her own; being in Laredo with you when you first gave birth to Analuz and later on Gabe, and helping you for the first few weeks, knowing how rough they were especially for new parents like you and Javi were for the first time.

Also, the fact your aunt seemed to have a crush on Chucho might or might not have had to do with the fact she accepted your husband's invitation so quickly, being on the first flight to Laredo only two days later.

What your husband didn't know was that you had also planned a small anniversary surprise for him, as your aunt kindly accepted to watch the kids pretty much the whole day, you were able to put into practice what you had thought. Javi was a simple man, he loved sex and he loved sex with you, that was a part of your relationship that didn't lack, but you knew there was an even better taste to it if it was unexpected, to everyone who took a look at Javi, they would see a respectable man and a good cop, but in the sheets, you knew damn well the beast he was. Well, you and several girls from Laredo from his younger days, way before even going to Colombia, but that didn't matter nor bothered you, as your man didn't look at anyone but you.

So, to reward Javier Peña for being the best husband you could ask for, you had to come up with a plan, a simple one but one you were sure would please him. First thing was to leave home early in the morning, even before Javi to put your plan into practice, you'd asked your aunt to watch the kids and in case your husband had asked for you, you'd told her to say you had to go into town to find things for the special night you'd have but you wouldn't take very long to return, perhaps he would think it was kind of odd, but he also knew how much you loved celebrating your anniversaries, they were simply your favorite special days, the milestones of the best thing that ever happened to you.

Parking behind the station and walking in, with the excuse your husband had asked you to organize some things on his desk, the other cops knew better than to question you, the wife of the chief of police. You chuckled at that thought and closed the blinders, so you could change into more comfortable clothes.

When Javi parked his car and entered the station, he was welcomed by a few lazy 'good mornings' here and there. As Laredo was a calm city, the law enforcement team was also… calm, if he were nice about it, and lazy as fuck, if he were honest about it. If there was something those cops didn't like doing very much, was definitely working; perhaps because things were slow and they often didn't have to deal with nerve wracking situation, but still, after all the stress Javi went through in his narcos years, he was more than thankful to be worried about neighbors' quarrels or small thefts.

"Hey chief, there's a case for you because there's a woman waiting inside" officer Danny informed absent minded and turned his attention back to the small TV they kept in the office for entertainment.

Javier sighed heavily, what could be so important for someone to come after the chief of police so early in the morning?! He was ready to carry on with his day without any bumps on the road, he even ditched his uniform - actually Javier ditched the uniform after the first month of work and stuck with the suits just like he wore whenever he needed to see Messina at the Embassy. It gave him a real nice look, according to his very horny wife, and it was more comfortable to work. That being said, Javier decided to ditch his usual, Javier Peña trademark uniform and go for his tight jeans and pink shirt. He knew what that outfit did to you, and he was hoping he would get a glimpse of your 'appreciation' for that outfit, but unfortunately you'd been gone by the time he left home.

And that low-key annoyed him, it was your anniversary after all, he thought that was a special enough occasion to have some morning fuck. So what he really didn't need was having to deal with a grumpy old lady complaining about whatever it was Javier would probably not care at all, because he assumed that was the kind of woman who would be waiting for him.

"What can I do for you, ma'am?" He asked as he opened the door and entered his room, too busy focusing on his hot steamy mug of coffee to take a look at the small couch before he had the chance to close the window.

"I'm here to press charges against my husband, chief…" your voice hit him unexpectedly some of his coffee dripped out of his mug and hit the floor, at the same time he abruptly turned around to look at you; and the expression on his handsome face was priceless: big brown eyes widened and jaw on the floor at the sight of you waiting for him in his office, wearing nothing but a nightgown.

However, it wasn't just any nightgown, it was the same one you wore the very first time you slept with him, back in Colombia, that night you watched him stumbling and struggling to open the door, with his face completely bruised after getting himself into trouble.

It had become his favorite piece of clothing and you hadn't worn it in a while, but there you were, displaying your gorgeous body with that particular outfit in honor of your anniversary. He felt his blood going towards one direction, though his heart also warmed, thinking back on how you had taken care of him that night, being so gentle and understanding of his neediness, the way he asked you to sit on his lap, how he had craved your body after playing cat and mouse for so long. The way his skin burned with fever, and yet he had never felt better, because he was finally able to have the woman he loved in his arms for the very first time.

"W-what are you doing here?" He managed to ask after catching his breath, devouring you with his eyes as you stood up and walked to him, locking the door on your way towards the man "I already told you, chief… I wanna press charges against my husband…" you licked your lips as you stood in front of Javi, your hands on his shoulder, caressing them softly and unbuttoning his shirt with a smirk

"Rosado te sale tan bien, jefe" you whispered against his lips, but instead of kissing his lips, you went for his neck, your soft kisses running through his skin and causing goosebumps on him. Javi's hands held your hips, squeezing them softly as he pressed you against his body and you chuckled at the feeling of his hardening cock against your body.

"What's wrong with your husband, ma'am?" Javi finally got into the game, licking his lips and smirking softly "word in the streets says you're happily married"

"Well, I don't actually have a complaint, he's a nice guy… but I've got my eyes on the chief of police for a while now and I can't wait to have a taste of him too" you bit your lips and pulled Javier gently towards the chair, making it clear you wanted him to sit down on his chair.

He gladly obliged and swallowed, his eyes darkening with lust the moment you unbuttoned his shirt and kissed down his neck

"You know cariño, there's people outside, we don't wanna embarrass ourselves do we?

"If you don't to embarrass yourself, I strongly suggest you shut the fuck up chief" you winked at him and opened his fly, his cock was already rock hard under his jeans because of course Javier Peña was still going commando, that was a habit he would probably never abandon.

You got on your knees in front of him, a clear sign of submission and licked your lips at the sight of his thick cock growing harder in your hands. You took it by the base, moving it up and down and feeling it throbbing, you ran your tongue through his tip, tasting him and savoring his whimpers. Javier Peña could never resist a blowjob.

"Fuck Javi, do you know how much I love your fucking cock?" You asked and felt as he wrapped his hand around your hair pulling it and clenching his jaw "oh I know it mi amor, porque eres mi puta" he smirked and you nodded with innocent eyes before sinking your head onto his lap, taking his length as long as you could down your throat and using your hands to stroke his base and caress his balls. You bobbed your head up and down, giving your husband head, just as his employees were a few meters away from the two of you, the way Javi was holding back his moans so he wouldn't be loud, you just loved the affect you had on him, he was still yours, just as you were his and neither of you could fucking resist each other.

When you felt his balls quivering under your touch, you knew he was close, it was just a matter of time for Javi to reach his bliss, so you fastened your pace, resting your hands on his thighs which shook slightly the moment his orgasm came and you welcomed his load into your mouth swallowing it like the obedient good wife you were.

Javi panted, his hands left your hair and gripped the sides of his chair, looking down at you and helping you up, pulling your body towards his and having you sitting on his lap. He hungrily kissed you, tasting himself in your lips, at the same time he calmed down. His fingers worked the straps of your gown down your shoulders and the thin cloth fell, revealing your nakedness underneath.

"Fuck cariño, you're gonna kill me, you know that?" He whispered against your skin, his lips touching your shoulder, trailing a path of affection that led to your breasts. You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue toying with your nipples, one at a time, whereas his fingers found their way down your core, spreading your soaked pussy lips apart and gently brushing against your clit. You closed your eyes at his touch, your knees still weak for Javier no matter if the years had passed and if you were a married couple, he still had the same effect on you as he did when he was just the forbidden fruit from Colombia.

The way you whimpered with pleasure caused his cock to go rock hard in no time, his fingers deep in your pussy now, seeing how prepared you were for him, so Javi lifted you up and bent you over his desk, sliding his cock into you, making you take him inch by inch as he fucked you in his police station. He played with your clit at the same place he moved his hips in sync with yours, your walls squeezing him and the sounds of skin slapping against skin were almost as obscene as the muffled pleasure sounds that came from the two of you. It didn't take long for you to cum and milking his cock at the same time, you welcomed the second load of his thick cum inside, clenching your pussy so you'd keep all of it in there. Perhaps you would also welcome baby Peña number three after that, or maybe not; it didn't really matter, you and Javi were already happy, with another kid or not.

•••

By noon, you were back home; of course you didn't want to leave Javi, but you had to, after all, he needed to work or pretend he was working, while he recovered from your morning round in his office. Besides, you two would have more time together in the evening, and by then, the kids also needed their mom, especially Gabe who was going through his teething phase. It was no secret Gabe was a mama's boy and Analuz was a daddy girl, of course your daughter loved you as much as you loved her, but no one could ever top Javier in her little heart; her grandpa Chucho came closer, as he was all the time spoiling her and doing anything she wanted, he'd loved his grandkids ever since they were tiny seeds in your womb, feeling happy and proud of the man his son became because of you.

From the moment Analuz heard the engine of your car, she rushed outside, a bolt of excitement running through her little body in hopes to see her daddy arriving, she hoped you'd bring him for lunch.

"Mommy!!!" She squealed and ran through the grass to meet you once you got out of the car, and you just admired your beautiful daughter. Whenever she ran freely through the green fields she did look like a butterfly, no wonder Javi would constantly call her 'mariposa'. She hugged you tight but her eyes wandered all over the place, in hopes to see her daddy and her disappointed face when she realized he wouldn't come for lunch, was adorable. If you had a camera, you would've snapped a picture right there, as you were sure Javi's heart would burst with love and pride to see his little mariposa so sad he wasn't around.

"I'm sorry baby, daddy is busy and he isn't coming for lunch today… did you behave well with auntie Adelaide?" Analuz nodded with her honest, beautiful brown eyes. She had so much from her dad, it was impressive. The way she sometimes pouted or how she tilted her head, it was all Javi.

"And what about Gabe?"

"Gabe cwied, mommy!" She informed quickly. Analuz had trouble saying her Rs, something common for her age which Javi confessed to you he was scared to death the day she would be able to pronounce it correctly, because that would mean his mariposita was growing up.

You nodded and picked her up, walking back inside with her and being greeted by Chucho "hey mijita! All this came up through the mail for you" he pointed at the box and the couple of letters on the table as he extended his arms for his granddaughter, who of course, didn't hesitate in going with her grandpa.

You nodded at him and promised you'd be right back, wanting to take a look at your baby boy first, your heart yearning for your kids, first your beautiful mariposa, and then your sweet Gabe. You walked into his room and found him there, sleeping peacefully in his crib, your heart clenched in your chest just at the realization of how much you loved him, he was such a sweet and well-behaved baby, he never fussed or cried unless he was in pain, and those his cheeks were reddish, you touched his soft face and breathed relieved he wasn't sick anymore. You grabbed his chubby hand and pecked it gently, not wanting to disturb your son from his peaceful sleep.

As you returned to the kitchen, you could listen to Analuz and Chucho, he held her, telling her all about the fun afternoon they would have along with auntie Adelaide, but she only asked about her daddy. You knew Javier would be so cocky if he heard her asking for him so much.

"So are these for me?" You asked as you saw some letters and a box over the table, seeing the red, beautiful box had a card signed by your husband and something just told you you would avoid any embarrassment if you opened it by yourself. Analuz was curiously watching it, asking you if it was a box of chocolates, eager to have one, but it was pretty obvious that coming from Javi, it wasn't anything appropriate for a toddler, however, you frowned

"Why are you asking about chocolate? You've never had any…" you always made sure to keep your kids' eating habits as healthy as possible. Tiny kids didn't need sweets if they had fruits, but at daughter's guilty silence, you could see Chucho cleared his throat

"I'm sorry mijita, I was eating a bar the other day and she walked on me and I couldn't say no… it was just a tiny piece of chocolate but if it makes it any better, my Javi was also crazy about chocolate since he was a niñito así"

A part of you felt quite frustrated at how Chucho simply did anything your daughter wanted, even if sometimes he disregarded your instructions, he didn't do it on purpose or to piss you off, of course, he just wanted to make Analuz happy and you couldn't take that away from him, not after how amazing he'd been to you and how her birth helped him and Javier to get closer again, like they hadn't been ever since your husband was a child.

"It's okay Don Chucho, I just prefer Analuz eating fruits because it's better for her health, but a tiny piece of chocolate sometimes should be fine" you smiled at him, showing you weren't angry "under one condition of course: that you bring me some chocolate too" you winked at the older man who laughed out loud and Analuz giggled happily "you'we silly mommy" she said reaching for you and hugging you gently, your mariposa just had the power to melt everyone's heart.

Chucho cleared his throat again and looked at you "so mijita, I was thinking about taking your aunt Adelaide and Analuz for an ice cream at that place near the police station, is that okay with you?"

You held back your laughter and nodded with a sweet smile. Chucho had smoothly planned out a date with your aunt, as he could simply leave Analuz with her dad and spend time alone with your aunt. There was no denying the Peña charm ran in the family. You agreed to his plan, and though Analuz was immediately overly excited about the ice cream and visiting her daddy at work, you let her grandpa deal with it, taking your box and your mail to your bedroom.

You placed them carefully on the bed and you were about to start it by the beautiful box your husband sent to you, when one of the envelopes caught your attention: the stamps were from Colombia, which was extremely odd as you hadn't spoken to anyone from there since you left everything behind and went after your happiness in Laredo. Curiosity immediately caught your attention and you opened the envelope, taking the letter in hand and reading it as quickly as you could, you recognized the handwriting before you could even finish the first sentence and the confusion as to why your ex-boyfriend Manuel Herrera had sent you a letter was increasing, he was decisive for you to leave Colombia and go after Javier, he, out of everyone, advised you to seek your happiness, following your heart, even after you'd been such a bad girlfriend to him. You didn't regret any part of your story with Javi, you were just meant to be and no one could fight that, but you know some things the two of you should've handled better, and Manu was definitely one of them. You shook your head trying to keep the guilt away and concentrated on what he had to say, reading about how his life had been in the last four years you hadn't seen each other and how things had changed. He'd congratulated you on giving birth to your two children, apologized for always saying Javier would never be a good husband to you, and broke the news that he and Colleen - the receptionist you hated and also never kept her eyes off Peña - were about to get married and already had a bun in the oven. You laughed out loud at that information, thinking of how amusing life could really be. It was funny how things fell into the right place without much effort and eventually everyone found their own way. You couldn't wait to tell Javi that he would find it as amusing as you did, and you made a mental note to write back to Manu sometime and wish him well in his new life.

Setting aside the letter, you focused on the beautiful box you'd received from your husband, you thought of Colombia again and how he would leave small chocolates or other stuff here and there on your desk and how he got you flowers for your first date, you would never exchange the life you had for anything else in the world at all, but you'd be lying if you didn't say you missed those times, the flirting, the butterfly in your stomach, the desperate touches and even the uncertainty about your future made you a little nostalgic even if it didn't make any sense. Not being able to wait any longer, you just opened the box once for all, finding a gorgeous pair of blood red lingerie. It was just so Javi you blushed like a schoolgirl, as your fingers ran through the sophisticated fabric, seeing the beautiful sparkly details and even if your husband had fucked you raw against his work desk just a couple of hours before, you felt the wetness pooling in your underwear. The little note he'd sent with the present just told you to wear it that night for him, he couldn't wait to spend some time away with you.

•••

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Analuz's happy squeals filled the police station the moment Chucho stepped inside and let go of her little hand. She'd been there so many times already, everyone at the station was used to the little girl always looking for her daddy. Javier was doing some paperwork, nose buried in files with a pen in his hand when he heard his daughter's lovely voice and stopped everything he was doing to open the door to her. His heart skipping a beat at her presence and he would never imagine that someday in his life he would experience the purest kind of love anyone could ever do: their kids' love. Analuz had been his little girl since she was born, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. It was funny for anyone who could see them, how Javier turned into a completely different person around his kids. He wasn't a former DEA agent and current chief of police anymore, he was just daddy. He was the father who would keep his daughter all the time with him, who would do anything she wanted, would play with her and make her feel like the luckiest little girl in the world. He watched her running towards him, like a beautiful little mariposa flying and opened his arms, welcoming her small body into a tight hug, lifting her up and resting his forehead against hers. His daughter was so gorgeous, being a tiny version of her equality gorgeous mommy, Javi never got tired of reminding you how alike the two of you were and how beautiful his girls are, he never thought he would be this happy before but here it was: his perfect life.

Analuz giggled, wrapping her arms around her daddy's neck and snuggling him

"Miss you daddy!" She said sweetly, not letting go of him at all. "Mommy is home, painting nails wed" she informed her dad and Javi approved your choice of color internally, he was dying to see your nails matching your lingerie later, but that would be something for him to think of later, because at that moment, he sat down, letting his beautiful Analuz get comfortable in his lap and grab the first pen and paper she could see and began drawing for him. When he worked in Colombia, he very often spotted kids' drawings on other agents' desk and he never got why they were so proud of that bunch of incoherent lines scribbled all over the paper, now he just couldn't get himself to throw away any of Analuz's drawings, they seemed so precious to him, even if they didn't make sense, he knew his beautiful daughter just put a lot of effort into them, so the solution was simple: Javi got one of those empty evidence boxes and placed it by his desk, always keeping her drawings there, that way he could always take a look at them when he missed his sweet mariposa during the day. And he already had another box sorted for Gabe too, knowing it was just a matter of time before he started experimenting with his papers and crayons.

"Whewe mommy and daddy going tonight?" Analuz raised her head from her drawing and looked at Javi curiously, she'd overheard grandpa Chucho telling auntie Adelaide about how her parents would have a date even if she didn't know what it was.

"Daddy is taking mommy dancing, because today is our anniversary, a few years ago on this day, daddy married your mommy in a beautiful party on our ranch and you were already there!" Her brown eyes widened in excitement to know that information though she couldn't remember it "but you were a tiny little seed in mommy's tummy… but I loved you just the same" and then former Agent Peña went so soft, especially when Analuz dropped her pen and wrapped her skinny arms around his neck. Sometimes Javi felt his heart would burst with love, there wasn't any other explanation to it, it was simple, pure and real love.

"I wanna dance too, daddy!!!" She asked excitedly and Javi grinned, standing up from his chair and placing his daughter's small feet on top of his, at the same time he held both hands "then follow daddy's steps like this…" he calmly explained as he began taking some dance steps to an inexistent song, but it didn't matter, he smiled at how happy she got, and suddenly Javi thought of how things would be in a few more years, he thought of his daughter's first dance in her quinceñera and wondered if she would still be close to him; he really hoped so, because he didn't know what he would do with himself if his mariposita distanced herself from him just like Javi had done with his own father, he felt a wave of melancholy and immediately pulled Analuz up, hugging her as tight as possible, listening to her happy giggles and feeling his pain slowly going away. A knock on the door interrupted them when officer Danny opened it

"Excuse me, chief… we just listened in the radio a big storm is coming and the mayor is recommending everyone to go home because there's risk of flooding the roads"

Javi nodded and sighed. Storms were never good and he knew the next day would bring them a lot of work, but for the moment, he got a free pass to go home earlier to his wife and daughter.

"Alright, if my dad stops by, tell him we went home"

•••

By the time it took Javi to drive home, the weather had changed completely; the beautiful, sunny day darkened in a matter of minutes, seeming the mid-afternoon had quickly turned into night and the first raindrops hit the ground almost at the same time he parked his truck and helped Analuz out of her seatbelt. He held her against his body and the two of them rushed inside, avoiding being caught by the rain. He sighed as he didn't see Chucho's truck and felt worried about his dad, but you immediately rushed to see your husband and your daughter. Gabe was now fully awake in your arms, his fever had finally broken and he was back to being the dweet, docile little baby boy you all were used to.

"Gabe!!" Analuz squealed excitedly to see her baby brother, she loved playing with him and he gave her a big gummy smile. Javi placed his little mariposa down and picked his son, holding him against his chest and kissing all over his chubby cheeks, before getting you with a peck on the lips

"Chucho called, he's with aunt Adelaide and they both went to your uncle's ranch, it was closer and they have shelter to wait for the storm to end, if it doesn't, they'll sleep there" you raised your eyebrow and Javi gave you a knowing nod, the two of you thinking exactly the same but not saying it out loud because of the kids, but yeah, probably something would happen between his dad and your aunt.

"I'm very sorry cariño, but I don't think we'll be able to go out tonight, I know you were looking forward to celebrating our anniversary…"

You shook your head and smiled "it's not your fault Javi, it's okay, we can't go out, but we'll stay home, with our family, we'll celebrate it with our beautiful kids" you assured him, nuzzling Gabe's cheek and making him giggle.

"Let me figure something out for dinner, my love, can you watch the kids?" You asked but you knew it wasn't even necessary, Javi was a great dad and he often watched the kids because he liked to, he enjoyed spending time and playing with them, and not simply because he had to. Of course, going out would be nice, but eventually, you enjoyed the fact you had the house for your husband and yourself, the kids wouldn't take long to fall asleep, and you two could enjoy the time to be together without any interruptions or the need to watch ourselves all the time.

Javi sat on the carpet with his kids, even if back protested against it, he just made sure to be there, holding them close and helping them playing with their own toys - Analuz loved her dolls and Gabe loved blocks - he just gave them attention, spending a precious time with them while the rain poured outside. You made your family some dinner and of course it wasn't a special menu like you figured you would have with Javi if you had gone out, but you also knew you would have other opportunities for that, it was nobody's fault, the weather could be unpredictable at times and no one could fight against the nature. After everyone had eaten and he'd helped you with the dishes, you sat on the couch with Javi and the kids, the four of you snuggling with each other, as the kids played happily with each other and you admired your husband. He was so handsome, just like the first time you got to Colombia and met the infamous Agent Peña, you couldn't wrap your head around the fact he was simply gorgeously handsome and just a few years later, he would be yours and no one else's.

At the first sign of the kids being sleepy, you took Gabe and Javi took Analuz, taking them to their shared bedroom. You placing your baby boy in the crib and Javi his little mariposa in bed. Gabe fell asleep easily, just like every night he was tucked in, wrapped in warm blankets and a couple of soft words from his mommy and he was happily off to dreamland. Analuz, on the other hand, could only fall asleep if her daddy told her a story, which he patiently did, no matter how tired he was, he would keep himself awake and tell her whichever stories she wanted to hear; fairies, princesses, pirates, spaceships or anything at all, he would make it up for her.

You wished your daughter goodnight and excused yourself, leaving father and daughter alone in the bedroom, Javi's hand stroked her small face, earning a lovely smile from her

"I love you daddy" she said between yawns and held his hand with her tiny one

"I love you too, mariposa, so much…" he pecked her forehead and watched as Analuz closed her little eyes and joined her brother in dreamland, the two of them being so safe and loved in the Peña family.

You turned around to see Javi walking into your living room, he had no right to look that devilish handsome in a pink shirt, but there he was: two buttons undone, strong arms exposed and tight jeans, just like your hot Colombian summer dream was. You bit your lips and smiled at him, you'd applied some red lipstick, matching your nails and the red gown you put on, over the gorgeous pair of lingerie he'd gifted you. He was dominated by the sight in front of him, you looked like a walking sin and it was all for him; he was a lucky bastard and nothing would ever change that. Taking a step closer, he placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer and licking his lips at the sight of you;

"Fuck me cariño… How can you walk around being so goddamn gorgeous all the time?" His voice wasn't much more than a low groan and he lowered himself enough to nuzzle your cleavage, his lips ghosting over your skin. You had always looked incredible to him, but he couldn't deny how much he loved your breasts after you got pregnant, it simply drove him mad.

Javi's soft touches went for your neck, at the same time you let out a shaky breath, that man knowing his shit and how to play you.

"I'm sorry our plans got ruined, I really wanted to have taken you out, I'm not complaining about your sexy attire here…" he pointed at your body covered by some tempting pieces of cloth "but I wanted to take you out, you spend a lot of time taking care of the house, the kids, of me… I wanted you to have fun" he sighed and gave you the puppy eyes as another thunder broke outside.

"It's not your fault the worst storm to hit Laredo in years happened to be on our anniversary day, Javi… besides, you got to come home earlier, we spent some nice time with our kids and the cherry on top is that the grown-ups are out and we have the house all for ourselves" you winked and the two of you burst out laughing. You noticed Javi swayed your hips at an imaginary step, and followed it shyly, dancing to the sound of rain.

"But just out of curiosity, where would you take me?"

"I'd take you out for dinner of course, maybe that steakhouse we like or the Italian place, it would be your call, hermosa… then I'd take you out to dance, we would dance some bolero and then I'd take you to the nice hotel, get ourselves a room and rail you into morning light"

You chuckled at Javi's sentence, seeing he had planned everything perfectly for that night, it would have been definitely special, you weren't doubting that, but you also likes how it ended up, just the two of you, intimate and cozy like it had always been, since the beginning of your relationship.

"Well, the last part we can still make it happen, chief Peña… you can rail me for as long as can take me" you teased and Javi's hand immediately went down on your ass, giving you a well-deserved swat and making you squeak "in fact, I'm all ready for it, you are the one who looks overdressed…" you undid another button of his shirt "but I'm a little curious: why go out to dance?"

"I realized I was a bad boyfriend and never took you out to dance while we were in Colombia, there were so many bars you wanted to have gone and we never did…"

"You were never a bad boyfriend, Javi, never. We just didn't have time, maybe because we dated for five minutes before getting married and having kids" the two of you chuckled again at your own inside joke "you've always been the best boyfriend in the world, you were so good at it I ended up marrying you"

"Do you ever miss it? Colombia, I mean? How we were back then, how things were horrible at work, but how good we were, how there used to be only you and me in the world once we got inside our apartment…" he asked you curiously and you nodded, surprised to see Javi held as much nostalgia as you did in your hearts.

"I do… it feels it happened ages ago, we were so young back then… well, I know it's only been what, four? Five years we've met? But it was a marriage and two babies ago, and we were very different people, I miss it too, as much as I love our family, it feels kind of sad knowing these special moments won't ever come back right? I mean, this moment right here, us dancing to nothing in our living room with a baby and a toddler sleeping peacefully in the next room will only be a sweet memory in a few years and sometimes that makes me sad becau-"

Javi kissed you. He knew how you had a habit of overthinking things and he didn't want it to make you upset when you two were having a special moment together. He held you tight, as if his life depended on it and though he understood perfectly what you meant, he knew you two couldn't let the fear of time passing by and changing your lives become bigger than the joy you felt in the present. He knew you two would be together for life and you had a beautiful family, perhaps another baby could come anytime, or not, it didn't matter because you were happy as long as you had each other.

"Mi amor, I was thinking… would you like to come back? To Colombia, like on vacation? We have some extra cash and maybe the kids would enjoy it too, visiting a different country, trying new food?"

"Do you mean, Bogota?"

"Well, I was thinking of Cartagena, with the beaches, the beautiful landscape… maybe we could even renew our vows?"

"I'd like that, Javi… I really would, going back to the place where you became my Javi and showing our kids that"

"Good then, Mrs.Peña, I can't wait"

That night Javi took you to bed, like many other nights you'd spent together, but instead of railing you like he said he would, he made love to you, just like it happened on your wedding day. He treated you like a delicate flower, with so much love, affection and appreciation, he showed you how much he adored you, your body, your touch, your taste, everything about you. You were his wife, the love of his life, the mother of his precious, beautiful children and all he could do was to thank God, or destiny, or whoever was in charge of giving that undeserving man so much joy and happiness in life. When you were more than satisfied, being brought to your orgasm for the fifth time that night, he allowed himself to finish inside of you, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours, mumbling love words under his breath. He panted as beads of sweat formed on his forehead, your bodies pressed tight against each other's. Javier rolled on his back and pulled you to him, you resting against his chest, letting out a tired but satisfied sigh as you listened to his heartbeat. You never wanted any other kind of life, looking back at all the good and bad you went with Javier, you knew you wouldn't change one single thing, because that was what led you and Javier to what you had now, a marriage full of love and a gorgeous family.

In the middle of the night, you woke up with Analuz poking your side. She wanted to tell you Gabe woke up with a thunder and started crying, but before you could even get up, Javier was already on it, walking to the kids' room and picking up his son. He checked if Gabe needed a diaper change, but he was fine; perhaps he just needed a snuggle. He pressed his son against his chest gently and pecked his forehead, the baby sniffed and buried his face into the crook of his daddy, and by the time Javier was back to bed, Analuz was already tucked into it, so warm. You chuckled at your husband and helped him get under the blankets. It didn't take long for Javi to fall asleep with the kids and you stayed awake a little longer, admiring them. The three of them were so peaceful at that moment, and you closed your eyes, joining your family in the sweet slumber, knowing once you woke up, they'd be there for you.

You and Javi weren't the best people in the world, you've had your share of doing bad things and hurting people's feelings, but you were just human beings with flaws and qualities, and you found love in each other, both of you lost at first, but things fell into the right place even if it took a while, and soon enough it all made sense, you and Javi were meant to be and nothing could ever keep the two of you apart.

Your family and was the best thing you had and you deserved all the happiness you got.

____

A/N: this is it, besties, the final chapter of our lovely story. Thank you so so so much for all the love you've given me and this story, I hope you liked it, it came from the bottom of my heart ❤️

And this incredible, gorgeous, amazing, beautiful fanart of Javi and his daughter Analuz made by my sweet friend @bl0odymari ❤️ thank you for it honey ❤️

[sugoi-and-spice]

Ask of me debauchery....

...and you shall fucking receive.

Step by Step: A Gecko’s Guide to Becoming a Really Bad Person

Part One

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI!!!

Summary: In which, Bully!Reader manipulates Step-Bro!Spinner sexually in increasingly demeaning ways. And eventually, he asks his good ol’ pal Tomura Shigaraki for help.

CW:  Step-brother, Dub-Con, Blackmail, Bullying, Mean Reader, Male Masturbation, Oral Sex, Spinner has two dicks, Step-cest, Monster-fucking, AU - No League of Villains

A/N: I predict people are gonna be maaaaaad about this one and I'm all for it lol

Like my work? Please consider commissioning me or contributing to my Ko-Fi!

Read Full Chapter on AO3

[excerpt]

Her step-brother, Shuichi Iguchi, was a fucking loser. She knew it from the moment she saw him. And not in a prejudiced way or anything, it wasn’t because he was a heteromorph. After all, she has plenty of heteromorph friends (none quite as extreme as him, but still!)

No, it was all the other things she noticed about him when he walked into the family restaurant with his Dad the first day they met. The way he carried himself, slouching and fidgeting endlessly, unable to decide if he should cross his arms, put them in his pockets, or keep them at his side. The way he dressed, a ridiculously faded crewneck, baggy cargo pants, and a freebie League of Legends snapback that only served to further curtain his greasy long hair in his face. When she actually managed to grab a glimpse of his eyes through the locks, it was only for a second, and they were constantly shifting, dropping, unspeakably nervous.

Even in a casual setting, he looked completely out of place. He practically jumped anytime anyone asked him the most basic of questions like “how’s school”, “what do you want to drink”, “can you pass the soy sauce”. It was like he’d just been dragged out of his bedroom for the first time in five years — and she wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case.

She also wouldn’t have been surprised if this was the first time he’d ever been this close to a girl before, as he always looked especially panicked anytime he realized she was glancing at him, so she didn’t even really bother trying to talk to him that night, focussing instead on getting to know he future step-father — who seemed like an overall decent guy.

At the very least, Iguchi seemed to understand his status well. When she entered high school — the same one as him — he didn’t try to walk with her to or from school, didn’t try and talk to her, basically pretended like they didn’t even know each other, which she appreciated. She would’ve hated to have to be a bitch and tell him to get lost in front of all her new high school friends and potentially be reprimanded by her Mom to prove a point (of course, she would’ve if she had to).

Yes, her new step-brother was a fucking loser, someone she wouldn’t be caught dead talking to, let alone spending any meaningful time with in public. 

And yet somehow, she was completely infatuated with him.

She loved the way his skin looked, the different viridescent shades it took on depending on what angle or lighting she saw it in. She loved even more the way it felt, the times when his hands brushed against hers when he handed her a bowl or she bumped shoulders with him, cool and impossibly smooth with a texture so different from her own. She’d wanted to run her hand across every inch of it, to feel every difference. Just imagining it pressing and rubbing all across her own body had her gasping into her pillow for hours.

She didn’t know how the fuck it happened. It would’ve been great if she did, because maybe she could make it unhappen then. But nope, the harder she tried to understand it, the further away the answer seemed to get.

Maybe it was because he was so different from her or anyone else she would ever actually consider dating. Had their parents not gotten married, she never would’ve let herself give Iguchi the time of day. But within the walls of this family home, she was able to enjoy and explore him to her heart’s content. She was inquisitive by nature. Her friends called it sadistic, but she saw it as just wanting to see how far she could take things. And the desire to do so to Shuichi Iguchi was no different. He was so sweet and so shy, so eager to please or be invisible to everyone around him.

She wanted to see where that ended, what exact buttons she could press to get him to actually snap at her.

It started with little things at first, innocent things. Asking him to do her chores, her homework, even her shopping, yet he could never say no to her. Not even when she asked him to go buy her a set of lacy lingerie she was wanting. He actually fucking did it — handing the little pink boutique bag out to her without looking her in the eye, his skin flushed all the way down to his neck. Oh, she knew then that he was going to be fun . 

That with him, she could really get… creative.

Flirting with him shamelessly, hanging out on his bed in nothing but a pair of panties and a tank top she’d stolen from him while he played video games, throwing her legs over his lap during family movie nights, pretending she didn’t notice how warm and fidgety it made him while she continued to move her calves back and forth across his crotch.

There came a point when she thought that maybe the guy was just unbreakable, that he really didn’t have a single impure thought about her in his head and that this wasn’t a game, but just an infuriating (not to mention insulting ) exercise in futility. 

But then, late one night, through the thin wall they shared, she heard it. The sound of flesh against flesh, muffled grunts.

Her name, breathy but distinctive, on his tongue. 

Shuichi Iguchi, her dear, perfectly behaved, and endlessly timid older step-brother, was in his bed, jacking off. 

Imagining her .

And it wasn’t a one time incident either. She listened closely in the following days, and discovered that it was a nightly occurrence, that she was a nightly occurrence to him. And it wasn’t long before she joined him in his fantasizing, spending night after night pressed as close into the wall as she could get, imagining that that stupid piece of plaster dividing their beds was gone, as she fingered herself to sleep.

It should’ve gotten easier after that, she should’ve been able to extend her patience knowing that it was an actual possibility now. But if anything, it made the burn within her even worse, knowing that it was so close yet so far out of reach. She didn’t just want this, she fucking needed this. But it’s not like she could let him know that. She couldn’t let him think that she wanted it, that she wanted him . She needed it to seem like mercy. 

She needed to have the upperhand.

So, she started setting traps. Things she could use against him, to get him into the palm of her hand, a place where he didn’t say no just because he didn’t want to say no, but so that he couldn’t say no. She asked him to get things from her room and left sex toys out, wore skimpier and skimpier outfits that she could catch him staring at her in, left her phone out so that he could read her lewd messages to other boys at school. 

Yet still, nothing.

Iguchi didn’t step a single clawed toe out of line outside of the four walls of his bedroom. He was the perfectly polite older brother that she knew and hated to love.

It wasn’t until she wasn’t even trying to trap him that he finally took the bait. 

Continue on AO3

[sonobeunitsarecool]

Sakurai Haruka: An idea (pt. 1)

Okay, dramatic title, but this is just about the information we have that points to Haruka having spent a decent amount of time in a psych ward. ...it's more long-winded than this needs to be, my English teachers (and all my other ones) keep saying I need to be more concise. Can't be bothered. Part 1: Haruka, language, and education. Starting with the character description, we get that he initially only responds to Es's questions with "a word or two", though once he's used to being around someone he becomes "talkative". He likes to talk with the others, even saying that it's his "hobby" in his T1 Q12 response. However, "since his communication skills are poor, he is unable to hold a proper conversation".

Across the whole project, particularly in the first trial, he's hesitant to interact, but he keeps on trying. He seems to stutter a lot, many of his int. answers are written with basic kanji, same with the Japanese subtitles for Weakness and AKAA. Haruka's unused to talking unless the expectations for him are clear (a common theme for him), he's not got a lot of practice with social situations, and his behaviour is notably anxious. It's likely that, so far in his life, he hasn't actually needed any language skills more complex than that. His vocab and character recognition/writing should be better than they are, if only by necessity. It's clear that he's capable of learning the language, as he does know some kanji and his hiragana, and he's adept in using what he does know to fill in the gaps (i.e, in the VDs). ...if he went to school, which he should have, then he'd be more proficient in Japanese. I'm not sure what Haruka's approximate proficiency level is, but it's probably about junior high level (12-15 yrs old, Mu is 16 and in her first year of high school). But he's made very little mention of school in general, if any. Mu's entire MVs are in a school setting, and Yuno at least talks about it (saying she's a high school third year and mentioning theatre club). I don't think Haruka's attended high school, at least. Junior high, maybe, but definitely not high school. He says that knowing another language is "impossible", even if English is mandatory in most Japanese schools. He's not working, either (most expensive thing he's bought was candy floss), or finding education in other areas like a trade or art. He's, technically, a NEET. But he wants to talk to the others. He actively enjoys it. He's responsive. He isn't a hikikomori, really, since between talking to another of the prisoners and being on his own, he'd choose to talk.

It's a conclusion most of us have come to. The neglect and abuse of Haruka, from his mother (he considers his father to be part of his family, but he only really talks about his mother, and his father "wasn't particularly interested" in him. Probably left in his childhood). He wants to be noticed. He wants people to like him. He was jealous of the person he killed. But... why keep him from school? Because of shame (of having a neurodiverse child)? Japan finds it very important to attend school, it's a big thing. Many would find it more shameful not to go. It's not an issue of cost, Haruka's had several pets and those can be expensive to care for. Time? The drain of being a caretaker? Better to send the kid to school, get them doing lots of clubs. But what if, logistically and practically, there wasn't much point to sending Haruka to high school in the first place? If Haruka had spent a significant amount of time on an inpatient unit, then it makes sense. Especially if he has been readmitted on multiple occasions, not far apart (which would be more realistic than one long admission spanning years, I think), then he'd miss too much school to justify enrolling him. He'd miss too many classes, be too far behind, and it would overall be worse for his mental wellbeing to switch between psych care and rigorous education, instead of going between psych care and home. It does actually make sense, to focus on Haruka's mental health instead of attempting schoolwork. ...Not to say that the whole situation was handled well, ahaha no. It explains:

his apparent lack of high school education

why we see the inside of his home prominently in his MVs

why he uses Japanese that's below his expected proficiency level (he's trying to get better, and he's probably been infantilised a bit by professionals and his mother, so there was never a "need" to work on his vocab)

a good part of why Haruka's mother seemingly has never gotten into trouble in regards to her care of Haruka (because, in some ways, she's actually doing the right thing, somehow)

why Haruka doesn't quite know how to talk to people

Okay too long, going to make a part 2 later. More about the evidence pointing to a psych ward specifically, and how that puts much of his behaviour into context beyond "oh he never grew up".

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

discworld looks like such a fun book series!!! but the large amount of novels and of different suggested reading orders have put me off actually starting the series. do you have any suggestions?

Yes!!!

Here's a little secret for you: most of the Discworld novels are actually fairly short, especially the early ones. I first read almost all of the Discworld books in one summer between 8th and 9th grade (there was roughly about 35 of them published at that time). So while the number of books can look intimidating, most of them are a much quicker read than the doorstoppers people tend to imagine when thinking about classic long-running fantasy series.

Regarding the reading order: yeah, there's a ton of different suggested reading orders out there. This is for two reasons. The first reason is that quite simply, the earliest books in the series... don't measure up to the standards of his later works. They're not bad, per se. But when compared to his later books, they're not as polished and the pacing isn't great. Early Discworld books also don't have nearly as much pointed social commentary; they're largely parodies of the standard sword-and-sorcery fantasy tropes that were popular in 80s pulp fiction. They're still decently funny if you're familiar with fantasy genre cliches from 40 years ago, but even then they may not be compelling enough to make you want to read thirty more of them. That's why most Discworld fans try to get people to start by reading later works.

Which brings us to our second reason for all the different reading orders: unlike many series where reading the books out of order wouldn't make any sense from a plot or character development perspective, each novel in the Discworld series could technically be a stand-alone book. While most of the books do follow each other chronologically in the same order they were published, they don't need to be read in that order to be understood. My personal reading order for Discworld was literally "whichever book is currently available at the library within biking distance" and I still was able to enjoy all of them.

Within the broader series, there are a few "sub-series" - series which follow the same character and/or set of characters over time. These sub-series are usually the easiest way to get people into Discworld, because once they become invested in a particular character they're likely to want to keep reading about that character.

The main sub-series people tend to recommend is the City Watch sub-series (starting with "Guards! Guards!"). This is for a number of undeniably valid reasons. The main character is very flawed but very likable, the books usually have a whodunnit plot that can attract people who might not normally read fantasy genre, and they're pretty influential in regards to the overall development of the Discworld's world building.

The second favorites for recommended sub-series are usually either the Death books (starting with "Mort", follows the actual physical Grim Reaper and his mostly human family either having or solving various existential crises) or the Moist von Lipwig books (starting with "Going Postal", a later but important entry in the series following conman Moist von Lipwig as he establishes various governmental institutions such as the post office or the mint (this series literally helped me better understand our real-life contemporary fiscal system)).

But what might draw you in to Discworld in general really can depend on what kind of interests you have. For example, if you're a big fan of Shakespeare and are really familiar with his works, Wyrd Sisters will probably draw you in with all the Shakespeare references. But if you're not as familiar with Shakespeare, then that particular book may not be the most interesting starting point.

My first Discworld novel was "The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents" (my friend at the time wanted me to read it because she had pet rats and was scouring the library for books where rats were heroes instead of villains). It's technically a young adult novel, but the storytelling and writing style was intriguing enough to get me looking for more.

I think my single favorite Discworld novel is "Small Gods", which is a standalone novel (not part of any sub-series) about what religion means. Part of it is that I happened to read it at just the right time in my life, but also it's just a great book that discusses some truly meaningful issues around belief and religion and it influenced how I see the world. Plus, on a conceptional level? The plot is hilarious. "All powerful god of a monotheistic religion accidentally gets stuck in the form of a tortoise and only one single person can speak with him so now they have to work together to prove to everyone in their pseudo-Catholic community that God is currently a literal tortoise."

I guess. If you've managed to read this far. If you have any further questions. Feel free to ask as you can probably see that I'd be more than happy to answer them.

P.S. This is one of the better "get started reading Discworld" guides I've seen

[number1traumalover]

This is random af, but I just finished watching season 4 of TUA(the umbrella academy) and I am extremely agitated

So, multiple paragraph long(super long) rant under the cut

First things first, let me clarify that this series isn't the worst I've seen, and that s1 and s2 were both goldmines. I do think season 3 and 4 definitely could of done better, though.

To sum up s4 in a few words, RUSHED, UNNECESSARY, and PLOT HOLES. For example, the entire love triangle thing Diego, Five, and Lila was unwanted and pointless. Not only did it degraded Five and Lila's characters so much(c'mon five, you're smarter than that), it was also just a waste of screen time. Lila and Five getting lost on the subway contributed almost NOTHING to the story. It was mainly just a setup for the pathetic relationship they had. The only beneficial thing that came out of it was Lila and Five being able to navigate the subways, which led to Lila's family and Allison's daughter escaping(this was also a terrible writing choice, but we'll get to that later). By pitting Diego, Five, and Lila together they unraveled 3 WHOLE FUCKING YEARS of hard work and dedication to getting Five to slowly grow on them. Overall, 0/10. Hated the love triangle.

For another example, let's talk about the variety in quality, shall we? I will admit that the first 2-3 episodes of season 4 were pretty decent, and I actually liked them, but you could see the quality of the episodes just go down as you progressed through out the season. The ending was clearly rushed, and to me it seems like they were running out of a budget and they knew it. Not a great look, 0/10.

Anyways, its time for my dearly beloathed plot holes. Since I have too many and it would take too long for me to explain them all, I'll just list them all quickly.

Wouldn't Grace, Claire, and Lila's other kid existing in another universe cause a kugelblitz to exist, since their mothers are dead, and thats exactly the reason for why the Sparrow kugelblitz existed?

What happened to the other children with Marigold in them? There were 43 in the umbrella timeline and 19(give or take) in the Sparrow timeline. Why would they also get obliterated when the umbrella siblings got consumed by the cleanse?

Why did Luther get his monkey body back when he drank the Marigold? The monkey body had nothing to do with the Marigold, henceforth shouldn't be associated with his powers.

If it was made so that Five never existed in the first place, then the Commission never would've existed, meaning that Five never would've been hired to assassinate Kennedy, meaning that the whole fucking timeline would be messed up(there's probably more examples of this)

Speaking of the Commission, why did Five found it in the first place? The old Five in the freezer at the commission had half of his arm chopped off, meaning that he founded the commission after the scene with the Guardian. He would've had to reset the timeline in order to gain access to what he needs to start he Commission, but if he reset the timeline, then he wouldn't have his arm chopped off, meaning that in another universe, Five and the others found a way to escape the Oblivion without resetting the timeline. If so, how the fuck did they do that??

Killing the tua shouldn't have erased all the Marigold, since Reginald's wife would've still created the durango and marigold on the other planet BEFORE it had reached earth. And if Five and co didn't exist, the Marigold just would've found another host. THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE??

The new powers that some of the tua members got make no sense??? Why can Lila shoot laser eyes AND copy powers? How come Klaus can fly? That has nothing to do with his spectral themed powers, and everyone knows that he just makes himself levitate by having ghosts lift him instead. In the scene where Diego is delivering packages (the night after Ben spiked their drinks) how come he's able to make them land directly where he wants them? There's no metal in letters or envelopes??

(There's more plot holes, but I don't have the time and patience to list them all.)

LONG story short, the ending to the grand series finale was kind of disappointing. I genuinely think they could of done a better job on it.

[vera-deville]

Vera's Hauntober 2023

Day 4 - Candy Apples (Azul Ashengrotto)

09/18/2023

Pairing: Azul Ashengrotto x Reader

Word Count: 1,205

Warnings: None that I can think of!

Gender: AFAB

Taglist: @animusicnerd, @leonistic, @pyroxeene, @savanaclaw1996, @thequeenoffishburrito, @ellssbellss, @reshi-galaxy, @hanafubukki, @hitoshislover

"Y/N? What are you doing?"

Said girl was intently focusing on stabbing apples with wooden dowels. "Oh hey Azul! Right on time! C'mere, I've got a job for you."

Azul could only mentally prepare himself before being shoved an apron, an apple, and a wooden dowel of his own. "And what pray tell, am I to do with these?"

"Here," Y/N grabbed another apple and dowel. "You just stick the dowel into the middle of the apple like this, and then you set it onto this tray over here." Y/N pointed to a grey tray almost full of stabbed apples. "If the tray gets full, just grab another tray from that pile over there, clean it with a towel, and place parchment paper on it."

"Is there anything you'll be doing in particular with the apples after that, or are they just going to be apples on sticks?" Azul asked, trying to stick the dowel into his given apple.

Noticing his struggle, Y/N explained, "You're going to want to shove the dowel and not be afraid of damaging the apple. Like, really get it in there." Finally, Azul got the dowel into the apple. "I'm going to be dipping them in caramel after I finish the rest of these."

Curious to see how this would end up, Azul merely nodded along to what Y/N was saying.

"Actually, I have an even better idea! You stick the rest of the dowels in, while I get started on the caramel! I'll be done with this much sooner that I thought I would be!" Y/N moved the remaining apples and dowels to Azul's side of the table.

Azul simply watched Y/N prepare the caramel she mentioned, all while taking notes to this seemingly simple recipe. It didn't seem to have much to it, just apples and caramel, so how good could it possibly be? Not good enough for Mostro Lounge, he could guarantee that-

Pretty soon enough, Y/N had finished making the caramel, and Azul had finished inserting dowels into apples (which was a tad more arduous than he originally gave it credit for). Taking an apple by the dowel, Y/N gently sunk it into the pot of caramel, and turned it, making sure that the caramel coated all the sides before setting it back onto the tray to cool.

"This part takes the longest, because of a couple extra steps my family does." Y/N voiced with a reminiscent smile on her face. Azul hadn't heard her talk much about her family back from wherever she came from, so he let her continue.

"My grandma and I used to make caramel apples every year during autumn. She used to do it with her grandmother and mother, and her grandmother used to do it with her grandmother and mother, and it's just overall a very generational thing." Y/N pulled a bowl of chopped nuts and coated the apple she'd worked on with them.

"My grandmother and I were suckers for caramel apples. Everyone else in the family loved them too, of course, but no one was as crazy about them as us." Azul noticed Y/N added another layer of caramel to some of the apples.

"Why are you adding more caramel to some of them?"

"Like I said, I'm crazy for caramel apples~" Y/N said with a wink. "My grandmother and I would double a decent chunk of the apples, and then we'd eat absolutely nothing else. Of course, we'd coat some of them with nuts and candy and stuff, but the double-coated caramel apples were our favorites."

Azul could see the sadness in Y/N grin. Though she spoke of her memories happily, nostalgia peppering her face, there was an indescribable sadness that clouded her figure. It could be seen in the way she hunched over the table, making sure the caramel coated her apples just right. It could be seen in the way her eyes were glossed over, and shimmered when the light hit them just right.

He didn't know what brought on the sudden nostalgia, but whatever it was, he would be there for her. He could guarantee that much. Wordlessly grabbing an apple himself, he also joined in on the caramel coating process, finding it rather fun, though that may have mainly been attributed to Y/N's stories of her home.

One that she hadn't seen in so long, at that.

Eventually, the pair finished the caramel process, and Azul found the magicless NRC student beside him practically vibrating with joy, because they would now be tasting the caramel apples. "Since you helped me so much with this whole thing, you get to have first pick!" Seeing the crease in her smile, Azul couldn't help a genuine grin settle on his own face, opting for an nutty caramel apple.

As soon as he sunk his teeth into the gooey apple goodness, Azul did a double-take. What is this sorcery? Why is such a simple dish so ridiculously delicious? Surely there must be something he missed, because there was absolutely no way a mere apple coated with caramel and some nuts can taste this good-

"I take it that you like it?" Y/N asked with a smirk on her face (and caramel on her cheek).

"Ahem. It is...rather nice on the taste buds. Though slightly difficult to bite into, perhaps if they are offered with a plate of some sort to eat it with. Or perhaps they can be cut into slices and then coated with the caramel and toppings! Or..." Azul rambled on and on about different variations of the caramel apples, as Y/N watched with a loving smile on her face. She may not have been able to share this moment with her family, but this was just as nice.

"Y/N! What do you say to an exclusive contract where you supply Mostro Lounge (and only the Mostro Lounge) with caramel apples, and in return, you receive 35% of the profits?"

Y/N shook her head, chuckling to her self. "Make it 65%, and I'll think about it~"

Author's Note: When I first thought of the idea for this fic, I was super excited to write it. But then I actually started writing, and I realized that somehow I suddenly forgot how conversations worked? But eventually, I got into the swing of things, and was able to finish it.

See you in the next fic!

Masterlist Hauntober 2023 Masterlist

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Hoist The Colours

Oh boy, we're heading into the big ones now!

Hoist The Colours was uploaded on September 18, 2021, and features Jose Rosario Jr in his second collaboration with Voiceplay. This one stunned a lot of reactors (one of them, Dennis King of King Family Reacts, literally got up and left the room after the video was finished because he had been rendered speechless by it!), and the video currently sits at 4.6 million views (close to 4.7!) (EDIT/UPDATE: as of the night of the 8th of March, it's now at 4.7, close to 4.8!). So without further ado, let's get right into this one, and hope I don't have to start paying attention to my screenshot count!

Can you believe this was only Cesar's second (full-length) video as a full-time Voiceplay member? Because wow

(Also interestingly enough, Rick Underwood is credited with makeup in the video description (shoutout to Rick!) but no one is credited with costuming, so did everyone just acquire their outfits themselves or what?)

Geoff was in charge of the video creation for this one, as well as doing the arrangement, and he worked together with Eli for the lighting design, so big shoutout to Geoff! (And as always to Eli the lighting whiz)

OKAY a few things to talk about here

First of all, love the set design, it's like the Little Mermaid Medley but on steroids and more pirate themed! Also love the horn-playing skeleton on the left-hand side of the screen (took me a while to notice it ngl 😅)

And of course the outfits/costuming! I can't really think of a lot of things to say individually right now, but there was 100% a lot of thought and effort that went into the clothes (even if the description won't specify who acquired the clothes. I'm going to assume Geoff, since the overall video credit goes to him.)

Oh hey it's my blog banner/background, or close enough to it at least! (Hoist The Colours has a decent few very cool visual moments that are totally screencap-worthy, and of course that's what I'm here for - to point them out!)

Geoff may play the villain (or otherwise just-generally-creepy/spooky/scary guy) a lot in videos, but as of the last few years at least, Eli's often been looking like the one that you really don't wanna pick a fight with. (Also cool ring, and is that fake scar tissue on his head?)

This is a better shot of everyone's outfits actually. A few notes on everyone (except Eli, who I just talked about?)

Cesar: Very ghostly, especially with the cloudy contact lens in one eye. Love the white coat/jacket, and love the pop of colour with the red sash! Also what is he holding/shaking? I thought it was a set of old-fashioned keys, but it doesn't look like it.

Jose: The "captain" of this "motley crew", obviously. Cool coat, and love the sword.

Layne: Not too much going on with his outfit, relatively speaking, but I love the bit of eyeliner under his eyes, and the fake scar on his cheek! (Seriously Rick did a great job here, as he always does)

Geoff: Wearing at least two necklaces, and in true Geoff Castellucci fashion, he's got the top two buttons of his shirt undone (well, gotta show off those necklaces! 😉😁). ALSO, bonus thing that I literally only just realized after taking this screencap, is that Geoff has "VP" on his right arm, done in a way that makes it look like like scar tissue I believe.

That is seriously a very cool and very smooth transition. Who edited this? Was that Geoff too? (Also Crazy Eyes Layne!)

As I figured, one of the necklaces Geoff is wearing, the gold one, is for costume purposes, and the other one, the silver one with the diamond-shaped pendant, is the necklace from Kathy that Geoff basically never takes off (bless him <3 )

I think Cesar's holding old-fashioned shackles/handcuffs or something?

Hang on that skeleton on the left lost his little horn/trumpet and got stabbed?? 😅😂

Yeah Layne had fun in this one I can tell 😁 (also his vest is more detailed than first appears! Very nice!)

What a really freaking awesome shot/moment. In terms of "money shots", these two might in fact be two of the most awesome stills from any Voiceplay video ever (or so far, anyway).

He's got charisma, I'll give him that (also cool necklace!)

How are they just an independent acapella group that make YouTube videos that we can all watch for free? Like seriously, this is top tier stuff (both in terms of the video and the song cover itself), but this wasn't even Voiceplay at their peak! Voiceplay doesn't have a peak! They don't stick to a lane, they take "risks", they get creative, they will sing pretty much anything, and it works

Voiceplay says in the description "we may have gotten a little carried away with this one", but honestly would it really be Voiceplay if they didn't?

Anyway, I've got many more awesome videos ahead of me to write about, so stay tuned!

[yuuniee]

“Need something, honey? Oh, this one’s from me. Just make yourself comfortable, ‘kay~?”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Name: Iris Telanthera

Japanese: アイリス・テランテラ (airisu terantera)

Dorm: Brutalene (@forestwispocs) 🥂

Birthday: 21th May

Age: 20

Height: 185 cm

Dominant Hand: Right

Homeland: Abyssal Sea

Family: Unnamed mother, unnamed father(†)

Voiced by: Ryoko Shiraishi

Nicknames/Aliases: [TBA]

Grade: Junior

Class: 3-E (no. 05)

Club: Sorcery Club

Best Subject: Study of Ancient Runes

Hobby: Crocheting

Favorite Food: Lasagna

Least Favorite Food: Canned peas, tuna

Pet Peeves: Betrayal, betrayers, fake people

Talent: Escaping from a place within 20 minutes

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Appearence: Iris is a young lady with dark skin, black wavy hair that reaches to her hips, green slanted eyes, and an overall pretty face and figure. She also has two scars on her left cheek.

In her school uniform, she wears the standard Hourglass Station Academy uniform with a gray shirt with puffy sleeves, black pantyhose and a pair of black boots.

In her dorm uniform, she wears the Brutalene uniform with a pencil skirt, black pantyhose and a pair of dark pink heels. She also wears a hairpin with a golden leaf and some pearls on it.

Personality: She is what we call a bitch on the outside. But when you get to know her, she is actually pretty decent and shows a caring side only to those she cares about.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Unique Magic: “Gift of the Mist”

It allows her to summon an ancient beast when she blows on something like her hands, a conch or a trumpet. (She mainly uses a conch though!*)

If she uses it for too long, she might accumulate blot and even has a chance of overblotting. That’s why she tends to use it less...

[x] [x]

School uniform + casual wear

Gacha Life 2 version!

Fun Facts:

Her father is unfortunately gone forever. She lost him to a group of mermaid hunters at a young age.

She always wears at least one accessory with Abyssal Sea pearls on it. That’s because if she doesn’t wear any, her powers may get out of control. (The pearls sort of neutralize them and lets them control her powers better!)

Due to her having a pretty face, she tends to get asked out a lot of times throughout a week. She usually rejects them, but sometimes she accepts them to keep them by her side for a while.

She was struggling to keep up with her classes in her first year, so she had to repeat a year. But when in her second year, a terrible incident happened and caused her to rarely come in classes which caused her to repeat another year. In her third year, she transferred from Night Raven College to Hourglass Station Academy.

She used to be a Diasomnia student in her previous school.

Before she was transferred to Hourglass Station Academy, she was working as one of the singers in Octavinelle on a weekly basis.

She has overblotted before in the past, but was stopped in time and comforted by her best friends.

She is always open to try new styles and clothes.

She actually comes from a wealthy family, but her mother, who is an opera singer who is blinded by greed, hid it from her until she was eighteen... She also raised her in poverty until she was taken in by the queen.

She used to work as a part time barista at some point to pay her tuition and to buy things for herself without having to ask money from other people.

She is the current queen’s chief executioner.

(*) The conch she has was given to her by the queen herself, and it’s actually a magical one. She gave it to her to wield her powers better!

She tends to go to karaoke every Friday with her two besties.

Although she says she hates humans more than anything, this doesn’t seem like the case when she’s around others. She is still somewhat repulsive, yes, but at least she cares... sometimes... (Tough love innit? Her resentment runs deep, I guess...)

[princess-of-the-corner]

Honestly, the more you talk about it, the more I want to hear about Endeavour's PR. Who's on it, like, number of people? What is their main stance before Enji starts turning his life around? What do they fight him on? Which specific thing finally gets him to fire them? Plus, which poor sap finds himself suddenly going from note-taker to head of PR (you know there had to be at least 1 decent person in there that never got promoted, but actually supports what Enji's trying to do).

HONESTLY LIEK

it's fuckin.

Enji kinda has just. Hired PR people in general and gave bare-minimum instructions and trusted them to know what they're doing. So it's a combo of letting them have free rein on things he doesn't feel he has time for (like letting them handle every time the media accuses him of having an affair or having a bastard child, overall management of his twitter page), or taking their advice on ways to improve his image in the eyes of the public(this can range from 'covering gray hairs' to 'fielding which charity events he attends as he can't go to all of them').

But ofc this has kinda swung into the PR team kinda.... either assuming his wants/viewpoints to make statements, and/or them telling him what's 'right' based on their own feelings vs. what he wants. And Enji is just dealing with so much else and the whole point of hiring them was 'handle this so I don't have to' that he rarely checks in to keep an eye on things. (which is how he doesn't know gay people exist even though the last like 4 years have been spent with the media accusing him of having an affair with Hawks lmao).

And I have two thoughts on things where the PR team acts without Enji's permission that leads to a complete 'scrap the fuckers and start over with more checks in place'. Like there's /more/ on the whole, but these are the only two I have specific thoughts on

One is- I have a specific scene planned out for this where it's Enji gets dragged out with Midnight and Snipe's drinking night, and this is post-finding out about gay people which those two are aware of him being queer. So they're suddenly getting notifications of his twitter posting something even though he's right there and not on his phone so they're like 'uh you might wanna check this out'.

Enji's kinda surprised because usually the PR team does get /some/ permission before speaking for him, did kinda say 'yeah just handle certain things without notifying me'. And it takes him a minute to even realize what they posted as, having only known gay people exist for like a month, isn't up to date on subtle homophobic phrases like 'traditional family values'.

ofc he immediately borrows Midnight's phone to use her twitter and post a response video of 'fuck off, my PR team posted that and I will be talking to them because I am here for the lgbt community'.

Which yeah opens up him investigating into that and finding subtle and less-than-subtle things that they've been doing for his image. And while it might have /technically/ helped keep his popularity up, it does against things he thinks are right.

And the second incident is bigger which is. Idk if he finds out through investigation or if Natsuo says it after Enji has worked to gain back some trust but like.

A little bit after Toya first 'died', Natsuo did try to go for exposing the fact that Enji is a bad parent and trying to get that info out to the media and like get cps involved and such. But the PR team caught wind of it and shut it down HARD. Very guilt-tripping, threatening, and even bringing the Commission into this situation to prove to the kid that nothing would be done, and if he continued to try then, well. The middle child isn't usually missed all that much.

Enji is. Very. Very pissed at this. The not telling him, the fact that they threatened his kid to preserve his image. The fact that this contributed to some of the family drama because Natsuo assumed Enji knew and had them cover for him when, again, he had no idea at all and would've taken Natsuo's grievances a hell of a lot more seriously if he did.

It's. It's a LOT.

[ira-407]

How to School Me Better: Universal Changes

This will be the first in a series of blog posts about me reflecting on my schooling experience. Each of them will be posted under the "school" tag on my tumblr.

I graduated college two years ago. I haven’t been back in school since then, though I do plan to return about a year from now. My overall school experience was, I’d say, pretty decent. I was certainly not without many personal struggles, whether it was academically or socially, though. Many of my teachers were great and really did the best with what they had. There were a few teachers I had who I didn’t think were good teachers and who failed to really reach me. Regardless, the public American education system is an absolute mess and I think it needs to be fundamentally reworked from the ground up. I don’t think I can find that many people, including current teachers, who would completely disagree with that sentiment. So what I am going to do here is brainstorm ways in which I think said system could be reworked, though more to the point, I am going to list ways in which I think specific subjects could have been taught to me in ways where they actually would have stuck and have been meaningful to me. Now that I am an adult, I have recognized that I definitely don’t have a dislike for learning-in fact, I think most people like learning in some form or fashion-but the way a lot of subjects were handled in the classes I took was in a way that was not very conducive to actual learning. It’s actually pretty wild, thinking back at it, how the people who design these curriculums thought that they were. I don’t mean the individual teachers I had here, for the most part at least. There was a large looming force over most of the courses I took, whether it was standardized testing or having to do grades in a specific way for the school. So these are more systemic suggestions than they are levied at any specific teachers I had, though certain teaching styles and philosophies worked better with me than others. 

Universal changes

More federal funding across the board

Smaller student-to-teacher ratio

The abolishment of homework

More recess/unstructured break time for all grade levels

No standardized testing

No self-contained special ed classes for *anyone*. Actually meaningfully include students with disabilities.

Shorter school days in general, though doing this without also shortening the work day for most jobs would not be optimal

Minimize traditional testing in general

Apply a strength-based approach to how mastery of the subjects are assessed

A lot of these are things already done at private schools and via homeschooling. Which is great! However, most families cannot afford these things. I don’t know that mine could’ve. Private schools and homeschooling are at best, band-aids on the current system we have, and at worst are shelters from the real world for parents who want to mold their children into their particular image of them. Tutoring also definitely helped me, but again, it’s a band-aid. Private schools also tend to have horrific things happen in them because they’re not beholden to the same rules as public schools, though they can also be great for that same reason. Regardless, those are not going to help the most people as opposed to more systemic changes. Other obligations can get in the way of homework if one is involved with extracurricular activities. Now yes, there’s the “school comes first, extracurriculars second” doctrine but I really don’t think it’s that simple.

Extracurriculars are supposed to enhance your learning in some way, and may even utilize skills you learn in classes. Why not leverage that more instead of expecting someone to not break under the pressure of having to juggle so many things at once? There seems to always be the underpinning argument of “this is how the real world works, Better Get Used To It” when it comes to this stuff. Yes, having to juggle obligations is part of adulthood. However, a lot of the time, even then, I feel like it doesn’t quite have to be that way. If this is what I needed to get used to, then why should I be excited to grow up at all? There’s also a point to be made about how a lot of what we even learn in school isn’t stuff we use in everyday life, though I think one way to fix that is to simply apply what we learn to real life more often. 

Strengths-based approach is a term often used in disability services, though I think in a lot of ways, it is applicable to learning as a whole. Some of the very best teachers I had used this approach. They were the ones who really valued growth and connection. The ones who didn’t simply feel like authority figures, the ones who didn’t care as much about the extrinsic value, but rather the ones who actually took time to meet students where they are, and make them recognize that they inherently have strengths that can be utilized effectively. They make the class feel legitimately connected, and the only people who may feel left out simply weren’t interested in the first place. I can tell the difference that makes for a classroom environment. A great example of this was a class I took two semesters in a row, which was for a storytelling ensemble known as Tellers.  One thing I really liked about Tellers was that everyone had their own thing they brought to the table. There wasn’t really a sense of, “oh, this guy is better than the other guy”. The director really has a way of making each performance feel special and becoming of the individual’s skillset. Does that mean nobody in tellers is better or worse than another or that all performances are equally good? No. What it does mean, is that there wasn’t a race to the top. There was simply being the best you. Bringing your best foot forward. Not creating a hierarchy or a sense of competition doesn’t mean nobody gets praised in a classroom. It means everyone’s unique talents and strengths are well recognized. What makes a teacher truly exceptional is the ability to fully realize that. 

Next, I want to go by individual subjects, since I had my own share of strengths and weaknesses in each of them. Generally speaking, I struggled the most with STEM subjects. I think some of this has to do with how my brain is wired. I’m definitely not a very logical point a-point b thinker. However, I also don’t at all think I am incapable of learning these things. Most, probably nearly all, of my former teachers and professors would likely agree that I was capable of learning what they taught me and I generally would absorb it pretty well. What I struggled with were the assignments themselves, and keeping up with the pace at which the content was taught. The most common ways most subjects were taught didn’t work for me. Some of what didn’t work about how these subjects were taught also affected how well I did in literature and humanities courses too, even though those were usually my stronger subjects. Since I don't want to put everything into one giant, long blog post, I am going to split these up into parts. Next time I will be discussing math, but for now, I would like to know what you think about what I have discussed so far, as well as your own personal experiences, should you feel comfortable sharing.

TL;DR: My schooling experience came with a myriad of challenges. Many of these were because of my disabilities as well as how the system is not properly designed for people like me, and is inherently flawed in general. There are many systemic changes that should be made that can improve the overall experience for everyone, students and teachers alike. There are also specific changes that could made which would benefit students like me.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

So I believe I've already mentioned the reoccuring trend with Dreamworks franchises where the second movie of any given franchise of theirs is usually on par with quality of the first movie or even better, and I would say that certainly rings true for good ol Madagascar 2 here. In that it's on par with the first movie, though I'm not sure I'd call it better... Let's get into it.

We pick up with our squad of lovable animals leaving Madagascar, only to crash land in the African Savannah. There, Alex reunites with his parents, Marty finds a whole flock of zebras just like him, and Melman and Gloria start to realize they have feelings for each other. Meanwhile we have the Penguins trying to fix up their plane and King Julian being, well King Julian. There are a lot of subplots floating around here, but I think they're all pretty engaging! Alex is clearly the focus this time around, while the first movie focused more on Marty, and the arc Alex goes through here is actually really engaging (and wow, another Dreamworks protagonist with some daddy issues, another trend we really get in this era of Dreamworks imo)

All of our favorites from last time around are back and just as funny as they were in the first movie. There aren't too many new characters, though the ones who are here are pretty fun, such as Alex's parents. Unlike the last movie, this one actually has a genuine antagonist in Makunga, and well, he's just Scar. Like, there's a lot of elements from this movie lifted from Lion King and Makunga is really just a lamer version of Scar. He's ok. Nowhere near as based as our other standout "antagonist" here, the crazy old lady from the first movie.

The comedy is once again exceptionally on point. Lots of fast-paced physical humor mixed with whitty jokes and humor that comes naturally out of the characters strong personalities and how they interact with each other. I would say that the emotions ring a little stronger in this movie than the first one actually, with the heavy focus on Alex reconnecting with his family and on Gloria and Melman's surprisingly well done romance. Marty has the weakest arc out of our main four, but we still get some decent moments of friendship between him and Alex, which is a nice way to harken back to the first movie.

The animation here is also very smooth, again focused on that fast-paced brand of humor this series is known for, with a solid score that works to carry both the emotions and comedy through very nicely. Dreamworks has really hit their stride in this era of their existance, and this movie, despite its status as a sequel, is a pretty good testament to that.

So yeah, Escape 2 Africa is pretty great! I had a blast watching it again after all these years, and I really do enjoy watching this zany band of characters and their wacky adventures. Granted, I've never seen the third installment of this franchise, so I guess we'll have to wait and see if it maintains that level of quality moving forward. But as for this one, it's well worth watching.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Verdict: Moto Moto is comin' for you

Previous Review (Kung Fu Panda)

Next Review (Monsters vs Aliens)

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

this is supposed to be the best year of my life so far and i’ve started it angry, angsty and overall pissed the fuck off mostly at myself.

fuck this honestly what if i just pack my shit and run away what then? maybe my ma will stop riding my ass abt so many things maybe my school will actually start caring abt its students maybe i’ll be happier if i just packed all my shit and left for awhile. just leave a note for family and friends get on the metro and fucking leave. i hate it here anyways so why not just leave? it’d do everyone good my ma wouldn’t have to be so disappointed and angry all the time, no more tuition, my friends don’t have to deal w me anymore it’d be all around a decent thing if i just up and left. idk where id go. a hotel somewhere probably i have a decent amount of money saved. cant go to family cause they’d turn me right back in. that is if my parents cared enough to call the cops. id probably stay in some cheap dingy hotel probably in dc, get a job somewhere local to pay for said shit hotel room and finally maybe relax for awhile. meet new people who have no idea who i am, get out of this shitty filthy grimy house, away from all this bullshit school work, and finally get some peace and godamn quiet and relaxation.

my mother has been extra pissing me off lately she hated my outfit i wore to the fair the other night said it was “almost too grown” it was just a tank top and shorts. i even had tights under the shorts. she’s constantly on my case abt school. constantly. my only break from that is summer but it’s now that time again wjere mt mother calls me an idiot every other day and makes fun of me. she’s such a bitch. i know it’s awful to say but sometimes i hate her. i used to be close w her but idk she’s just been meaner lately like the past few years. i think she loves me i’m just not sure if she likes me.

please if u ever have kids be nice to them.