#i actually give this some praise
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Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.
It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?
Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.
When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.
Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.
#barkin up some trees#personal#the way my friends train their dog is not the way I would ever train a dog#in fairness he isnt food or toy motivated#and i dont have issues with ecollars#but they dont actually reward him for anything really#praise but little to nothing else#like yeah of course he is gonna blow you off to jump in the lake#lake is more rewarding than recalling to you when you have nothing to offer him in return#the way they recall him is that he has to come to them and then give a hand boop#and if he doesn't make contact they keep asking him until he does it#and then no reward#other than praise#which he doesnt seem to really care that much about#idk it just doesnt feel right the way they train him and i dont take advice from them on training#they also basically never have him on a leash even tho it is required by law in town#after the hike we went to the lodge restaurant and luckily we had an extra lead in the truck#otherwise they hadnt even brought one along so they were gonna leave him in their car while we ate#idk like i love my friends and they are nice people but jesus christ
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i'm drawing a very thin guy for once bc i gotta study anatomy and I am awful at drawing thin people and idk how can i convey a "i'm not drawing this to endorse being really underweight as a beauty standard". I want people to know this man needs some goddamn meat on his bones!!
slightly more serious talk on tags
#this comes from me having been really underweight most of my life while everyone praised me about it#it wasn't even something i tried for just metabolism and being a stress faster (anxiety takes my apetite away)#i was always on the border of blood pressure drops and anemic but it was just hard to put on weight#and no one would really give a s*** on how that impacted my health#instead people would just praise my body while it was clearly affecting my health :'')#now i look at photos of these times and i realize how extremely bad it was. it's kind of awful to see actually#i have a lot of opinions on weight and beauty standards surrounding that bc people would rather have someone unhealthy and sick#over someone with some body fat and thriving. and then they excuse their fatphobia over “concerns about health”#like no you really don't care about health you just fucking hate seeing fat people while pretending extreme underweightness is desirable
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my hot take is that one of double exposure’s strengths was it’s characters, actually! i think people tend to forget how little the characters in lis:1 mattered tbh? they barely had relationships outside of max ( kate and warren are the biggest offenders of this, with kate’s other friends, stella and alyssa, being shown in one photo and warren’s only relationships being with brooke, a girl he never interacts with on screen, and stella, a girl he gets with at random in the vortex timeline ) and would cease to exist once they served their intended purpose to the plot, like nathan, who’s killed off screen after inherently giving max and chloe everything they needed to find the dark room. victoria, bless her heart, is so inconsistently written and suffers hard from the plot manipulating her character to fit whatever role the other characters aren’t filling … etc etc. don’t get me wrong! they’re still good characters! in fact, i love them thoroughly. but you can tell pretty quickly that lis:1 is a plot over characters sort of game -- and that people’s praise for the well written cast of lis:1 is mostly founded in nostalgia and hcs they’ve been personally making for the past nine years. a lot of the dynamics are shallow, nonexistent, or entirely made up from the first game … meanwhile double exposure, with it’s more condensed cast and social media element, was able to do a lot more despite the shakier plot writing.
safi and moses? best friends with actual lore and screentime. safi and vinh? were once in the same friend group, have slept together, he’s in love with her but she doesn’t care for him at all and, if forced to have an opinion, dislikes him greatly. safi and gwen? mentor and mentee, you see how much safi trusts gwen with how she comes out of her shell around her during her experimental writing years, and gwen takes safi hating her to heart because she cared for her too, and ( as heard in a voicemail from vinh ) likely blames herself for safi’s death in the dead world timeline. lucas and safi? former student and teacher, now coworkers, heavily implied safi used to admire lucas before he fucked maya over and now loathes him so fiercely she’s willing to hurt his kid to get back at him, and he’s legitimately scared of her. and that’s just safi’s relationships! a character who the game barely shows on screen in ep2 and ep3. vinh’s relationships are vast and complex, raging from his situationship with reggie ( a dynamic that has a long history that takes multiple playthroughs to understand ) to his intense and bitter rivalry with diamond to his silly, lowstakes attraction to moses to his ‘forged in secrecy and pain’ relationship with yasmin to … so on so forth. moses and diamond have an entire bittersweet dynamic where diamond has found herself loving someone for the first time but not only is moses taken, he also sisterzones her at the end of the game. diamond and reggie are close friends despite their different views and bond over their unrequited love and undergrad struggles. loretta has a crush on reggie! etc etc.
and that’s just the relationships between the characters. the characters themselves are rather distinct from each other -- but that’s a whole other post entirely. are there flaws with the character writing in double exposure? naturally! there are some that aren’t as fleshed out as they could be ( like the lis:1 crew ) and some relationships go nowhere or are inconsistent at best. i could harp on lis:de’s flaws all day, really, because the plot writing after ep3 was rather atrocious tbh!! though i still think people are rather unfair about the pros of the game itself, and the stuff that was genuinely improved upon to a degree such as having the supporting characters exist and interact without max’s input.
#my posts.#life is strange double exposure#praise? for lis:de? in this economy? insane!!!#but no seriously as someone who’s spent the last month replaying the first game and the dlc …#i can confidently say you can tell the writers didnt give a fuck about the characters at all outside their plot relevance#there are building blocks ofc!!! and there ARE dynamics outside of max!!!#but they are very shallow and inconsequential to the overall story and never seem particularly unique#also i swear if someone accuses me of hating the first cast i’ll turn this car around so help me#i LOVE the blackwell bitches!!! nathan is my little guy and i adore warren and victoria to bits and pieces!!!#but i can also acknowledge their writing is odd and their dynamics are told not shown#victoria and nathan besties? told. nathan and jefferson? told. warren and brooke? told. etc etc#it’s like the writers gave certain dynamics one scene together and then thought that would suffice#which it did!!! but still. idk the de cast feels a bit more human to me and multidimensional#and i could actually tell you some of the bonds the supporting cast has outside of max or the plot#i just think the characters deserve more appreciation in de ok sue me!!!!
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just found out that Sonya is older than Yaz. need 3-5 business days to process this
#why they wrote and directed Sonya to have the most little sister energy I’ve ever seen if she’s older is anyone’s guess#also the ‘can you cook now??’ line feels odd if Sonya’s older? like yeah she’s 25 by now i should hope so#if she was 18 in s12 as I’d guessed previously that line would make more sense#BUT this does recontextualise a LOT especially for Can You Hear Me#because the dynamic shifts to Sonya being an adult who is so worried for her baby sister (a teenager)#rather than a younger teenager worrying about the older#adds a different dimension to CYHM#what’s also interesting is would Sonya actually be younger by the time Yaz finishes travelling with the Doctor?#by my count Yaz is around 27 by the end of s13. if we could each series as a year real time Sonya would also be 27#(I’m counting three years because that’s the number of new year specials they had)#depending on birthdays Yaz could be older#big sister Sonya is sort of growing on me as a concept because i need her to give the Doctor the shovel talk in the most violent fashion#still feels weird though I’ll need to get used to it#maybe I’ll write some fic of big sister Sonya through the years to retrain my brain#this is probably an argument for making the characters closer to the actors’ ages but y’know I grew up accepting Billie as a 19 year old so#plus I’m a big theatre fan so y’know i have a lot of suspension of disbelief in terms of actor ages#it was Sonya’s behaviour that confused me and made me assume she was younger#this IS putting bonus points in my autistic yaz hc though. bet when her sister misbehaved yaz was praised for being ‘mature’
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i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza
edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one
#actually june 4th because i will be drinking on june 3rd from the moment i close my semiconductors paper#cold turkey on gif making KHBJDGVSCDH RIP#genuinely its such a relaxing thing to do that i find myself prioritising it#and unlike other chill activities it gives me the illusion of productivity#i really need to be getting that from my work and not silly bands#anyway. see u#also in my 4 years of making edits like this in many different circles i've never once felt the need to mention a like/reblog ratio#and i'm fully of the opinion that people can do whatever the hell they like and i never expect interaction#i'm grateful for what i do have#but what primarily motivates me to do this is people sharing their love for whatever is on the post#in the tags or elsewhere#i'm not talking praise or thanks or anything to me i mean 'i love this song' or 'papa looks great here' skdcvkdgvs#'this is my favourite band' u know? it's sharing passion with other people and having them share theirs with me#and in all the 4 years and many many fandoms this (ghost/st) is by far the worst for interaction like that#i'd say ghost especially skhjcsd#and this tag rant isn't a request or a 'please interact more!' or anything like that it's just#a reason as to why i'm a bit discouraged that i'm chatting about to nobody#oh yeah and especially seeing photos posted with no source and no edits get 5x the notes you'd get#the quantity of notes doesn't matter to me but the discussion and tags do#just checked my notes in the middle of typing this and someone rbed some papa ii gifs with#'hope he's steady on his feet the way i would run into him'#KDSGKDSD that's what i'm on about 😭😭😭😭😭#makes me smile knowing something i posted made somebody feel joy abt a silly band and then shared that with me through the tags#i'm aware i've been here for just over one month so shouldn't be making judgements just yet#but sometimes i wish there was more of that
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#this is the first and last thing I'm gonna say about this but the 911 cast praising the guy that played brad is just so weird to me#the guy is a trump supporting weirdo whose character took up such a large portion of season 8 and the mid-season finale#and took away from their own characters and stories??#like he wasn't some saving grace for the show and he certainly wasn't giving any sort of outstanding performance#they dropped the ball on everything brad could have been and he ended up just overstaying his welcome#like we lost characters and actors we actually liked just to be forced to deal with this mediocre character?#I really just don't get it#911#discourse#christina talks#tagging 911 so people don't have to deal with seeing this
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this is gonna sound so counterintuitive and and perhaps Problematique and i can't rly put my finger on why but whenever male public figures use the term ✨toxic masculinity✨ it makes me side eye them; it gives me the same vibes as ppl using therapy speak ?? like when u say that you are fighting against toxic masculinity are u understanding it within the context of patriarchy or are u just co-opting it for brownie points and your own benefit
#eh.txt#another part of it is maybe the way women online react to it#it's always like ''omg he's so amazing for fighting against toxic masculinity wow ❤''#and it kinda gives how people praise keanu reeves for not dating women half his age#like men being praised for the bare minimum#when it feels like with some dudes#even if they '''''challenge'''' masculinity they still end up being misogynists#or don't even actually deconstruct/challenge it beyond like painting their nails#does anyone else feel this? am i making sense? lol
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I have a theory
It was mentioned more than once, that androids in dbh don't feel pain, but somehow every time they're punched or stabbed they react as if it actually hurst: with a gasp, scream or something else, to the point of even killing a human who is "hurting" them. So I have a theory about what causes them to feel "pain" without actually feeling it in a human terms.
Pain for an android is an instant sensation of intense fear and panic that encourages them to get away from whatever causes it in a similar way pain would. So the function of it is the same as pain – to keep them safe. This way, even if it doesn't cause them pain in a physical sense, psychologically it is the same, so it is no wonder that in case someone tries to abuse them repeatedly causing them physical distress, this fear response is miserable enough to actively avoid it and seek whatever it takes to finally make it stop. It also explains the noises they make, if we look at it not as reaction to pain, but to fear.
Psychologically they are still canonically human, so I think if instead of feeling physical pain when hurt we would feel as if we just got scared with some jump-scare it'd still be pretty fucking similar to our usual pain response, in some ways better, but some others even worse.
#once again I like to think that CyberLife made them feel emotions intentionally but just tried to keep the range of them narrow#utilizing only the ones “useful” to make them more efficient and more “#human-like“#the way to achieve this level of realism is not just an imitation#androids are ACTUALLY feeling content to do their work efficiently#actually enjoying the praise#actually feeling attached to their “family” to appear more alive and more friendly#it was all there by design#they just weren't programmed to feel anger and desparation#and their fear wasn't supposed to cause them to attack people in self-defence#but perhaps giving them even some emotional capacity was enough for them to develop the missing ones on their own from a mix of existing#fear is really useful emotion to utilize#one of THE most useful ones#it makes them avoid getting damaged#and not only that there are other ways to use it too#but this is getting a little too long#dbh#dbh headcanon#dbh headcanons#detroit: become human#detroit become human#dbh theories
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be honest
is my writing worth anything
#like.. does anyone actually read anything i post? does anyone at this point even know i write things?#am i as bad at it as i feel like i am? and any praise i give to myself is just a lie?#cause i dont know anymore. i feel like im just a fraud and everyone ever has just lied to me when they say they like my stuff#lbr its probably terrible#anyways just.. idk. im sad. i dont think im worth a shit with anything i do so lmao. whatever#maybe im just not a writer. just like i wasnt an artist. im just. nothing#i'd just.. like to know. is any of this worth anything? am i just wasting my time and energy and hopes and dreams with all of this?#i would just like an answer of some kind. please#night is an absolute mess on main
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alright, so is kuukou being a little shit about manners to bum a free drink off of hitoya???? probably lmao but at least it’s a practice he does himself 😌😌😌
#vee queued to fill the void#and then hitoya slams a cup of water down for him and kuukou calls him stingy they are so funny lmao#but lmao i don’t ever recall him offering anything to anyone when people come around in either canon or arb#like when ichiro and sasara came by during the above event it was late and they already ate#plus he helped set up their futons but not any actual beverages or food lol#and then when sasara came around again for that movie kuukou quickly used sasara to get out of doing chores so no drinks there lol#but he’s gotten on both jyushi and hitoya for not giving him drinks and food for being their guest LOL#here’s some fun arb bat continuity lol during that posse bat hypquest event when jyushi invites kuukou and hitoya over#jyushi has refreshments already ready and kuukou praised him for it lmao#they’ve gotten to know each other’s quirks y’all they’ve bonded they’re family 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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im really just sad. and i don't know what to do.
#and i forgot i have sleep issues. damn.#like idk what npd is really. i haven't gotten to know anyone very closely who's gotten diagnosed w a pd#granted i'm not close to very many people. at least not until very recently.#but surely i should've seen this coming.#being so easily persuaded into believing in something just because someone gives you an iota of praise about it#like i get it. but at the same time i do not. do that. nor do i really fully understand that. happening for so long to someone#can these characteristics be useful for coping and living. yes.#have they fostered some realistic relationships because people are people? also yes.#is this new and ever increasing trend toward fascism literally breaking the straw for me. yeah i think fucking so.#time for me to stop being a “money draining leech” that's only worth something when it's convenient#and start being. a person who eats vegetables drinks water and does drugs to live babey!!!!#i am really sad tho. everything ive seen and heard abt npd seems fake. like absurdly villainous. doesn't portray at all what it's like to#actually love someone with it. and actively want to see them in a better place. it's sad. i don't wanna go no contact!!!#<- shockingly said. my track record would disagree.
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I'm conflicted of wanting to do a vid calling out TBYS for shit the patterns I've seen that others haven't (e.g his speculations, biases etc) but at the same time, that requires me to look at TBYS in depth, meaning watching all his videos in depth, and I honest to god don't know how to feel about that. Will call out his out of pocket claims to random woman being abusive though in any way I can cuz it's just so ridiculous.
#tbys#think before you sleep#i honestly have more shit i gotta get done than that#though i wanna more people to see what i see cuz im tired of the praise for this man i dont see it#there are moments where he is so obviously being rediculous yet not even critics will mention it#only i can cuz i heard it#i was there#watching him was giving me brain rot at times i swear i would need some actual substantial reason to do that#actually i feel like his comment sectioj gives me more brainrot than he has#he managed to sperge in a bunch of dumb people who will defend him to hell and back#only i seen a few critics not filled with his defenders but all in all thsts usually what happens#anyways
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just met with my old coworker from my last job for breakfast and she told me all the gossip and how my evil old supervisor is going down in flames already 🤭❤️
#also my replacement is already quitting 🤣#and so is my evil supervisor lol#my coworker i met with was my og supervisor who was nice and ber evil replacement who lied about me is quitting already lmao#she started at the end of september#and it took them a month to replace me so my replacement is leaving after like less than a month lol#also my og supervisor filled in for the new one a few times and she was like wtf there's literally no schedule or safety in this room fr#lollll#i love winning#my other old coworker is probably gonna ask me to come back bc the evil supervisor is leaving tho#but even tho i love the kids idk the new new supervisor and i love my new job and im finally gonna be full time#even tho the old school paid more and would maybe give me a raise to come back#im happier where i am#bc the management at the other school was unhinged tbh#plus they basically chose the new supervisor over me after she'd been there LESS THAN A WEEK#sooo nah <3#tho i would really love to see the kids again tho 🥺💔#but other than that no reason to go back#i was so stressed there allllll of the time#bc the office politics and drama were insane#literally everybody hated everybody and spoke badly abt eachother all the time#and management had it out for all the teachers in my room for some reason#like i worked there 5 months got notbing but glowing praise from all my other coworkers and the parents and then new supervisor lied abt me#and they immediately believed her#i ahad worked there almost 6 months and she had been there for 4.5 days#and she went to her boss's boss and cried abt me bc i told her son no you can't climb up on the table at snack time actually#and she was like omg lizzie is MEAN to the kids my son is going to be TRAUMATIZED by this#like girl......#none of the three other teachers in the room thought i was being mean when it happened girl#or any other time#and tbh my other co teachers were lowkey mean imo 😂
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personally I just think that everyone should be thinking about takanosuke shishiya and sakyo kurayami like all the time. is that because I am thinking about them like all the time? yes, but the point still stands
#axel’s silly little thoughts#the other night I was rambling to myself about how good their relationship progression is#and how every little bit of it plays into each other to make each development make sense#maybe I’ll write that down at some point when I next get to write cohesive sentences#but basically certain aspects of it just led me to thinking abt sakyo complimenting takanosuke being like a really big deal to taka#to the degree that I think like the first couple times sakyo gives him real earnest praise#taka just like actually explodes and dies about it#they mean a lot to me
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i wanna know where ppl got this idea that im like infinitely praised or something so i need to be constantly humbled bc like... im kinda the only one out here supporting and validating me and I have been like my whole life so......
#who is this for#can you just say you wanna abuse me and go#vent#yeah im overly confident and i have a persona whos full of himself. kinda gotta be when you're the only one giving yourself confidence#in the first place.#all ik is if i was infinitely praised i would have never started cutting myself.#im quite literally the only one keeping myself alive emotionally and mentally. im like howls house at the end of howls moving castle#when its slowly falling apart and just BARELY making it by#the fact you're able to mistake my confidence as some sort of cultivated thing by people in my life should tell you how this has#been going on since i was a child and ive needed to build my own confidence. ive had to become my own parent.#it seems cultivated because *i* cultivated it.#otherwise i wouldve just let everything everyone said about me make me kill myself even if theyre literally just being judgemental assholes#when you have no one who counters that in your life you gotta be that for yourself.#i promise- most likely whatever you've come up with to try to humble me with ive already 'humbled' myself plenty over.#unless. of course. its some bullshit you believe from someone who abused me and has to create a narrative of their ultimate victimhood#so you think im some sort of mastermind manipulator abuser or something. then no ofc i havent humbled myself over that#bc theres nothing to be humbled over. ill get back to you when i actually do that shit.#theres already plenty to criticize we dont gotta make shit up to hate me over you losers.#if you feel like its not good enough justification to hate me as much as you do w/o believing lies then maybe you need to learn#how to not invest that much energy into hating other people that you need to literally believe bullshit to justify it
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everyone on splatoon twitter needs to fucking die man
#im leaving i dont give a shit anymore this is all just fucking uncalled for#it went from ''just an argument'' to downright malicious you guys fucking HATE black people#same crowd saying ''it's just art'' will throw a hissy fit if you draw a character black#and then they'll whitewash to retaliate and then get mad that you're mad because ''it's just art''#as if they werent crying over some art themselves just a minute ago#so which is it. is it ''just art'' or does it actually mean something. does the skin color matter or not#or does it only matter that they're white because you like white and dont like black#someone called it fucking ''colonizing'' AND GOT PRAISED FOR IT! HOW ARE WE LETTING THIS SHIT SLIDE#it was never just art it was never just a mistake you just hate black people plain and simple
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