#i actually cannot fucking take it anymore i hate working with people so much

[hexgirlsgroupie]

please let 2024 be the last year i work with the general public omg 🤞🏾

[backatitagainatichirakus]

Tobiizu fake relationship au in which they never actually agreed to start a fake relationship,

Izuna approached Tobirama and offered to let bygones be bygones aiming to get him to lower his guard and dispose of him/humiliate him/steal Senju secrets (or whatever he's bored) and Tobirama Knows it.

Tobirama: Izuna's goal every time we interact is to kill me. This is no different. But I can't reject him without jeopardizing our relationship with the Uchiha.

So they become "friends" and, after the second get together that Tobirama insisted took place on a VERY public location, Izuna realizes Tobirama is onto him. But he won't come clean, because that'll mean he'd lose, and he'd very much rather chew on his own eyeballs than concede a victory to Tobirama, so he goes full on Fake Bitch and tries to trick him into actually liking him.

Tobirama tries to avoid him afterwards because suddenly Izuna became more insufferable than usual but Hashirama is like noooo, you were making friends! Don't ghost your friend! Tobirama he might start thinking you hate him!

Tobirama does hate him, Anija.

Madara thinks Izuna is in love with Tobirama because he suddenly got VERY intense about him, more than usual, and he's like no you can do so much better please. He goes to Hashirama and Hashi is fucking thrilled because they could unite their families, a marriage to settle our alliance. Let me ask Tobirama what he thinks about it.

And Tobirama thinks is a great fucking idea actually. There's no way Izuna will keep this up if there's marriage on the horizon.

He's wrong. Izuna DOES keep it up, and after he sees Tobirama's little smug smile thinking he played him, he gets so angry he starts laughing like a maniac. Sharingan activated and all. Once his deranged laugher dies down he smiles "oh I'm so happy, I'm the happiest man alive!"

Now they're engaged and both fucking panicking.

The thing is, Tobirama is a controlling little freak, so even if he DOESN'T want to do this, he takes control over wedding planning and becomes insufferable in turn, tracking Izuna down to berate him because he needs to do his part as well! This is a very sensitive political affair and it cannot go wrong and Izuna I'm a sensor I know you're inside that well, come out you're gonna dirty the water.

Izuna starts to believe he was successful in his plan and now Tobirama thinks Izuna is in love with him for real and that's the worst thing ever.

Tobirama starts to believe Izuna actually meant the initial friendship overtures but after Tobirama's constant avoidance he accepted the wedding to punish him and this might be Tobirama's fault actually.

They tell nobody about what's going on.

On the wedding day Izuna breaks and hisses "I poisoned the wine!" Which is a lie, and Tobirama knows it, and he slumps in relief because that means Izuna does not want to do this. Alas, Tobirama planned this wedding for weeks with little to no sleep and invited a lot of very important people. He's NOT letting Izuna ruin all his hard work, so he drinks anyway and says "no you didn't" Izuna's eye twitch and drinks as well and now they're married.

Tobirama invents divorce a week later but they still keep on being roommates because it'd be humiliating if the other got the house in the divorce. They keep playing the friend chicken game for years to come, and build a life around the other. Izuna because eventually he starts to like Tobirama and decided to be merciful and never tell him about how this started so he could... He doesn't even remember what, kill him? Expose his fake ass? Unimportant (he still thinks Tobirama thinks Izuna meant to become friends at the beginning). Tobirama is like, I'm doing the world a favor by keeping him contained and also after so long Izuna's presence doesn't feel intrusive anymore and it's somewhat enjoyable (he likes him as well but he's never had a friend before)

Since Tobirama has no clue how normal friendships work, he follows Izuna's lead. Thing is, Izuna's naturally inclined to match anybody's freak so they actually end up following Tobirama's lead on it. And it gets. Weird.

Tobirama: hey if in tomorrow's mission you come across some enemies can you bring me a couple alive. I have a new idea I want to try

Izuna: no problem. Any specifics?

Tobirama: an earth affinity would be optimal. But if not, anything is fine.

Izuna: you got it.

Hashirama, Mito & Madara, who were having dinner with them:...

Izuna: hey when I die bring me back so I can kill whoever killed me.

Tobirama: if

Izuna: what

Tobirama: If you die. I'm about to reach a breakthrough on immortalily. You'll die when I let you.

Izuna is very touched.

Nobody even knows they're divorced.

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 29. karma's a bitch

chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. naoya's anger issues continue. infidelity/adultery. extremely strong language. corruption. mentions of physical violence. family drama.

word count: 3.2k

notes: my sixty-hour work weeks have been taking a huge toll on me, so i apologize for this incredibly slow update. the good news is that i cannot take this corporate america bullshit anymore and will resign in the next two months. thank you for being patient! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

Naoya had never felt this humiliated in his entire life.

When people said karma was a bitch, he never thought that it would actually make its way back to him. While he was not the most righteous person in the world, he was the Zenin CEO, for god’s sake! He was the leader to a multi-billion dollar conglomerate, the heir of a centuries-old bloodline. 

Yet, here he was, charging back to his apartment like an irate animal.

He startled the lobby doormen upon his loud entry, and once he returned to his penthouse, he had to will every muscle in his body not to tear apart his abode in a rampage.

In his head, his encounter with Toji looped like a broken record, fueling his chagrin.

When Naoya sought to confront his cousin for the first time in months, he thought he had been prepared. He did not expect to end up digging himself into a deep hole surpassing the world's layers due to a judgment error—a slight miscalculation. 

Correction: this miscalculation was anything but 'slight' because he wildly underestimated what felt like everything. Now, he bore the consequences of his mistakes after inadvertently turning himself into a laughingstock. Because his ego was his hamartia, he had become a mere jester in a story where he was meant to be the sole hero, and thus his ill feelings burned hotter than the surface of the Sun.

As much as he hated to admit this, Naoya had been shortsighted. He should have known better. Just weeks ago, he saw a vision filled with saccharine promises of a happy, comfortable life as the most powerful man in Japan imbued with power and wealth. He had been confident—a hundred percent certain—that absolutely nothing could go wrong in the trajectory he worked hard to create. But, what the actual fuck just happened at the therapist's office?!

He did not expect his mistress to make a complete fool out of him. Her very existence was an anathema to him, and he hoped to never be in contact with that woman ever again. In hindsight, Naoya should have taken the hint a while ago. He had previously forgiven his cousin's ex-wife, dismissing her blissful but intentional ignorance. Mari had never been too keen on actual intellectual and corporate matters, for she took far more interest in the money and comfort that came with starting from the bottom and sleeping her way to the top. Despite that, Naoya trusted that she at least had half the mind to not publicly discuss their affair, only for him to be proven wrong in front of none other than...Toji Fushiguro.

"Fuck!" Naoya screamed into the void of his empty living room. His reality was a nightmare as he thought about his despised cousin again—the assured gleam in his viridescent eyes, the smug smirk that tugged across his lips. The imagery soured his mood beyond measure. "I'm going to fucking—"

He did not finish his sentence.

Instead, he kicked a nearby lamp in an angry bout, toppling the fixture over and sending tiny shards cascading across the floor accompanied by the dull thud of the shade. Whatever. His housekeeper tomorrow morning would come in and clean that. 

What he instead focused on was how he had never been this infuriated, this belittled, this undignified.

The entire apartment echoed with Naoya's loud huff.

'About ‘your wife’ or whatever you want to deem her, there is not a single chance in hell that she’d ever think about calling you her husband anymore.' These words from Toji affected him more than he would have liked.

What did he mean?

That bastard is bluffing, the blonde had to tell himself, yet even he could not believe in his own consolation.

He needed to do something about this. 

No, no, Naoya wasn’t scared.

He couldn’t possibly be, right?!

Yet, after he could feel his ears begin to cool and breathing start to re-regulate, he stared at the emptiness in his halls as he came to the realization that had no better choice but to talk to you.

You didn't want to be here.

The moment you read Naoya Zenin's text to meet up for a 'quick chat' at the café near his office, you already knew that the upcoming conversation was going to be anything but 'quick.' The last thing you wished to do was to be in the same vicinity as that very man again.

After spending the last few days at your family residence, you had been showered with warm attention from aunts, uncles, cousins, and even house attendants who—despite naturally wondering the reason behind your stay—welcomed your visit with open arms. To your relatives' many inquiries, you forged a pretense that all was well even if all was not. (Besides, all did seem well in your family estate, away from the incessant pandemonium that was the Tokyo city center.)

While you knew that this peaceful break was not meant to last forever, you did not anticipate returning to the capital just to sit with the Zenin CEO alone.

Naoya had specifically chosen a corner table in the Hong Kong-inspired establishment, distanced from potential eavesdroppers. He seemed to have been waiting for a while by the time you arrived, his right leg crossed over his left knee as he twiddled with his thumbs impatiently. Sprawled on the table were a freshly brewed pot of jasmine tea and a platter of warm custard pastries.

He remained quiet as you took the seat across from him, observing with a crease on his forehead and a knit to his brows.

Anyone could tell that the blonde was not the least bit happy.

"Giving me dirty looks is not going to get this conversation anywhere," you pointed out while helping yourself to a tart.

From your comment, the inverted slope on Naoya's lips twisted into a deeper frown. 

He did not understand where your annoyance came from. 

Fine, he never treated you nicely either, but he did not expect you to snap at him when the discussion had hardly begun. You offered him no greetings, and Naoya also took great offense at how you chose not to look at him as you talked.

Truth be told, your neglect reminded him of all the other upsetting things that he was dying to bring up, and your unpleasant attitude whittled away the little restraint he had left.

“You didn’t try to ask where I’ve been. Not one text or call. Guess it would not have mattered to you if I disappeared, huh?" he lashed out through gritted teeth. He hated being forgotten, hated being looked over, and hated how easy it was for him to prove you to be a neglectful and apathetic wife.

Which was why there was no better option than to cut him off.

“You ordered me to leave you alone, Naoya.” Only slightly did you turn your head to glance at him. Stirring sugar into your tea, you kept your attention otherwise on the nearby window and watched businesspeople scurrying about on the streets on their lunch breaks. "You can live without my attention since I'm not the only woman you have around. What happened to your lady friend? Hasn't she been entertaining you long before our marriage? I am sure she would love your company, so why not pay her an impromptu visit?”

From a slanting angle, you could tell that the transformation from your normally calm demeanor dismayed him. Naoya, not you, was typically the one to make snide comebacks, but he could not deny your latest comments. Evidently, he wanted you to go back to your submissive and passive self, but that was precisely what you no longer could be for him.

His silence prompted you to reach into your purse and retrieve a thick manila envelope, and you presented the package on the table.

Naoya's gaze snapped to the parcel. 

He was curious, but cautiously so. He had invited you here, expecting to control the narrative, to dictate the terms. As a result, your unexpected move threw him off balance. 

"What...?"

“Take a look and find out for yourself.”

A puzzled Naoya demonstrated no hesitation.

He snatched the folder, tearing the top open and greedily grabbing the curated pieces inside. He stared for a long time at the first item: a photo. But he recognized the image of him and his mistress, boarding a private jet for their most recent trip to Mexico. Then, he flipped through the stack rapidly, barely registering each item before he turned to the next. Some were printed-out pictures and others were cutouts from news articles, but all featured him and his paramour. The confusion on Naoya's visage slowly morphed into aggravation, and when he finished his inspection, he forcefully threw the items back onto the table.

In the end, Naoya sat back and went still, not even blinking, thinking, or doing anything but pressing his tongue along his inner cheek. "How did you get these?"

No apologies. No remorse.

Hell, based on his response, the man could not even bother to deny your accusations, a telling sign of how little he could care for his relationship with you. Obviously, you must be a joke to him.

In one firm motion, you placed down your teacup.

"You're missing the point.”

While one's eyes may be the windows to the soul, Naoya's offered nothing in his current state. His pupils looked at—no, examined you in intense dark pools despite the iridescent glow from the lights above.

"Toji gave you these, didn't he?" Naoya continued with a disdainful laugh, himself insistent on getting answers to his own questions. "You can't find this shit on the internet anymore since I've had them all taken down. But Toji's fast. He has eyes everywhere, I know he does. Look at him. Months later, and he's still hung up on reclaiming a position he should've never had the right to in the first place!"

Thankfully, you didn’t flinch from his loud voice. What you did do was become more indifferent as if you were placing a wall to separate yourself from him, mentally bracing for his emotional maelstrom.

"You are missing the point," you said once more. This time, you shook your head in disappointment, and your tone was far more frustrated than the last. "Aren't you shameless?”

"Me? Shameless?!” His brows pinched closer from fury. "Take a look at yourself, woman! What did you do to get all this dirt from Toji and his henchmen, hm? Ha! Know what? I bet it’s because you're so willing to spread yourself for them,” he rambled with a nasty sneer plastered on his expression. At his comments, your jaw fell open before snapping shut as the meaning behind his words sank in. The way this man disregarded how he had an affair (that began many months ago!) only to redirect the spotlight onto you was repulsing, implying that the sole reason the therapists talked to you was that you had slept around. “A whore like you love taking all them all, don’t you? Well? Well? Am I right? Goddamn, you’re such a—”

The harsh scraping from your chair as you stood was what finally interrupted him. Unable to tolerate his vilification, you counteracted his anger with the venom in your rancorous glare. 

"How dare you talk about me like that!”

In the meantime, prying eyes started to turn in your direction from the commotion: teenage girls, sharing nervous glances across their table; a lone businessman, stopping mid-sip from his cappuccino; even the barista, pausing mid-grind such that her arm froze inches from the hopper.

"That man...doesn't he seem familiar?" a distant voice asked.

"Is he a celebrity or something?"

"No, wait. He's the person on the cover of last month's Fortune magazine. Naoya Zenin!" another replied.

"Isn't that lady his wife?"

While the onlookers' curious glances turned into full-on stares, their regard steeled your resolve rather than bothered you. Instead, you wanted the crowd to take in the spectacle. Corrupt tricks and dirty money had long painted the Zenin heir as 'the most perfect man in Japan,' and the public deserved to understand the fraudulence and cruelty that underlaid his facade.

"For months, I trusted you. I respected you. I put aside the harrowing loneliness weighing on my heart all because I tried to understand you. You told me that finding the time or energy for our marriage was not easy because board meetings kept you late in the office or business meetings required you to spend several nights abroad. Fine! So, I had been patient. But," and your voice overflowed from anger as you pointed a shaking finger at the pictures on the table, "Taking another woman to Michelin restaurants for dinners? Spending nights with her at Ritz-Carltons and Four Seasons? Going on entire vacations with her across the Pacific? All while you had a wife at home? Are you out of your fucking mind ?!" 

The man's nose flared with deep-seated rage, his eyes mirroring the same bitterness in yours. "At the end of the day," he began sternly, "we're still married."

Ridiculous.

“On paper, ” you had to clarify. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be cheating on me with your older cousin's ex-wife."

Immediately, louder murmurs rippled through the crowd. Naoya turned stiff, uncomfortable with the attention. So much for selecting a quiet corner in the café. He wasn’t stupid enough to sense that he had to be careful. Saying one wrong phrase would condemn him to a public meltdown. 

However, you were already steps ahead of him when you loudly declared: “I’m filing for a divorce.” 

That caught him off guard.

Your announcement even drew audible astonishment from bystanders as they stopped their meals, turning to each other and drawing out their phones.

In literal milliseconds, the vexation once riddling Naoya's demeanor shifted into denial.

“No. We’re not going to talk about a fucking divorce right now. We’re going to fix what we have, and you’re going to come back to me. We’re...We're married for a reason, and we’re going to keep with it!”

"That's a bullshit reason,” you had to snap. “Listen to yourself. Do you hear how selfish you sound!?" At this point, nothing could hide your bafflement. "Naoya, you were the one who said that if I wanted to leave this marriage badly, then I should leave. Ask Mai and Maki! They heard the entire conversation. Didn't you also say that you didn't give a fuck anymore?"

The man attempted to salvage some semblance of control. "I was just joking!"

"No, you were not." Picking up a photo of Naoya and Mari together, you pressed the picture to his face. “How much more can I take? How many days would I still have to go through alone in the penthouse, all because you would be spending your sweet time with the woman that you love?”

Unloading all this emotional baggage, not only for Naoya Zenin but also for the café spectators to hear, took courage. Previously, you would have let the burden gnaw at your soul. You would have rather wallowed in suffering rather than even think about speaking up.

But the past was the past, and you had grown immensely since then. Currently, you were stronger, more confident. You knew that, in Toji's words, you deserved better. Life was too beautiful to waste on a man who did not love or respect you and, with that in mind, you relaxed your clenched fists with an exhausted and fatigued sigh. 

You broke me first, you said through a deserted gaze. 

Naoya Zenin was the reason why you had become the way you were: a cold, seemingly heartless wife who cared none for her husband. The misery that he placed on your shoulders finally reached its limit, and while you could forgive, forgetting the memories in your scarred heart would be a task over months, years, and even a lifetime. 

“Listen,” you began, tone terse, “this divorce will set you free. Mari is the person whom you need—”

“The hell. No!” the man interrupted in a violent outburst, taking your breath away as he slammed the table and hissed. “I don't give a damn about her right now! We’re…We’re over!" he snarled with incredible anger such that he almost appeared to growl. "I don’t need her, I need you! That...That whore doesn't give a flying fuck about my shit! All she cares about is...is...Fuck this. All she wants is the money. Why else do you think she married and then later divorced Toji? She doesn't want to hear about all the shit in my family because she had not been brought up to deal with all the fuckin' drama in my household. She can't understand because, unlike you, she wasn't born with a silver spoon shoved down her goddamn throat!"

Quietly, you absorbed his words, stunned.

So this was how their relationship had been.

You had not expected him to reveal all these entrenched feelings willingly, but his concoction between reckless rage and sheer desperation had allowed him to spill the ugly side of this extramarital affair. Naoya could not afford to lose you, and not just because this marriage solidified the respect of those around him. While Mari offered him an outlet for physical indulgence, only you could offer the cornerstone to Naoya's mental and social fortitude.

“So you ‘need’ me now, but what happens when you find another reason to hate me again? What will you do if you don’t think I can fulfill the role you want me to have as your partner? Or if you wake up one day and suddenly want your cousin’s ex-wife again? Or if you meet another woman? Am I supposed to stand there again, and watch this all happen?" 

No answer.

The fact that he couldn't respond hurt.

"My decision is final. Looking back, I despised every single second married to you. In fact, I feel sorry for myself. The fact that I blindly put up with your manipulation, betrayal, and blame for all these months.” With your belongings collected, you prepared to leave. “You would be stupid to think you're the only one with options, you know.”

Only when you turned around did Naoya react, scrambling to his feet.

“What the fuck are you—”

In any other situation, he would have grabbed you, lunged at you, did everything in his power to stop you from going. Yet, given all the witnesses, all he could do was call you back like a helpless child, trying his best to not escalate the scene (although, at this point, even passerbys outside have stopped by the window to spectate).

"Hey!" Naoya called after you. “Hey! I’m still talking with you!”

Pathetic, really, to see him desperately beg for you to stay in his life.

There was a certain satisfaction in finally having the control at your fingertips. The feeling was empowering—electrifying, even—and you became so focused on the gratification that you barely registered Naoya's last question.

“Where are you going?”

At this point, you already stood by the exit.

“That’s not something that my soon-to-be ex-husband would need to know,” and you hardly gave him another glance as the door closed behind you. “Thank you for showing me everything I hope to never find in another man again."

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: Part of why this update took so long was because I wanted to have an encounter between Naoya and Y/N to showcase Y/N’s development, from someone who thoughtlessly defended her husband to someone who could stand up for herself (all while alone!). I envisioned this interaction many times, and I thought about different ways to approach the scene, the delivery, the dialogue, the choreography, etc. It took me a while to go for what I currently have. Thank you for reading!

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @puffaloxx @sakanoshitaa @arizzu @kissditrio @lewd-bunny14 @mistyheart @szired @supsii @yvy1s @lazyassfinals @katkbc @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network

[ganondoodle]

Please tell me what you hate about TotK

ÖwÖ !

how much time do you have? and how much do you want to read? bc i deeply hate everything about totk (for many many reasons that cant just be dismissed as just 'not my taste' or similar, i dont hate many things, very few in fact, but this game deeply and personally hurt me and my passion- it essentially killed my hyperfixation in zelda)-

what i like would be much shorter; i like the sound the parasail makes when you use it in the rain, most music, you can have more horses, the underground is .. a neat idea (but badly executed), you can FINALLY touch the dragons (and in exchange they ruined them for me ...) and uhm ... master koga is there :3

(graphics and style is basically botws so that doesnt count though i still love that and .. the designs... mostly)

the short version; the writing sucks, the gameplay sucks, except for koga theres no character that is well written or enjoyable to me, the world design sucks, theres no connective tissue between botw (which isnt flawless by any means but i love it ..... or used to love it ..) and totk beyond it being called a sequel, pretty much every single one of botws flaws was doubled down on and i cannot believe how few people actually seem to realize this?? if you cared about anything botw and like thinking about things totk will stomp you with its hefty price tag bc it makes it clear it does not care and you are stupid for caring about anything, you should stop thinking and jsut take whatever they say no matter how little sense anything makes, every even mildly interesting idea is either never followed up on/expanded or is even actively contradicted in itself (which is soemthign this game is excellent at, constantly contradicting itself in every aspect but like .. like its unaware of it) it tries to do everything and thus commits to nothing, tries to please everyone and thus comes out saying nothing and meaning nothing and doing nothing, it loooooves to copy botw but gives it a different paintjob and makes it worse but presents it as better instead of actually adressing the issues botw had, ganondorf .... oh my dear ganondorf, you deserve to be in a better game *sniffs*, i have never before felt like im being made fun of by the game im playing, but now i have-

even the short version gets long (and i didnt even go into detail or into the reasoning q-q) but boi i have so many issues with this game its kinda fascinating, i have talked about alot of it but given tumblrs search likely still sucks it might be hard to impossible to find all those older rants njskfsdbjk

(if you dont care about ... text, or stories and just play it after work for mindless fun in short bursts it might not seem bad at all but once you start thinking it quickly and utterly crumbles, you might say i care to much and well, yeah, thats how hyperfixations work and i dont choose what to focus on either lol)

for a long while i used to try and sound the most tame and nice about it all but at some point of constantly being argued with (often aggressively) back when twitter used to be usable i started to not give a fuck anymore so if this may sound harsh, i have long gotten tired of all that so now im trying to literally just speak my mind with very little "what if i sound mean qoq" filter

[iaminfourthwing]

The Generals Daughter

A/N: Hello Guys. Again, I am really sorry for not posting in so long. Took me a while to gain the motivation again but it's not fully back yet. But you get a (very) little chapter now. Oh and I wish you all a happy new year. Thanks for all the nice comments <3

Chapter XVI

It’s been a few minutes and he hasn’t said anything. He studies me, again. He always does that, silently trying to find my flaws. Innea doesn’t find that funny as well, as she grumbles in annoyance behind me.

‚Be careful. The black beast won’t like it, if you incinerate his rider.‘ I warn her, knowing that she’ll absolutely ignore it.

‚Codagh can fuck off, as if I’ll ever listen to what he says‘ she spits out.

I smirk, which the man in front of me doesn’t likes.

„You have an … interesting dragon, that chose you.“ I can practically feel the distaste, that radiates from him. Innea huffs, clearly as offended as I am. 

„She is perfect, I don’t care what other people think about her. She chose me, and I am honored to be her rider. I’ll hopefully fulfill her demands wisely and without .. flaws.“ I say.

„She is nothing special, just from the same den as the dragon from Riorson. And you are surely not special either. You are not to fulfill her demands, but those of Navarre, are we clear? This is why you are here, to defend the kingdom against any threat, no matter the form.“ He hisses while stepping closer.

„Are we clear, Cadet Melgren?“ He also has to emphasize the last name every time so that I am reminded of who (he says) has power over me. Not anymore.

„I am here, to defend those who cannot defend themselves. I will listen to whatever SHE demands of me, no-one else. I am NOT-“ I can’t react fast enough. The blow echoes across the flight field, loud and clear. No one dares to speaks. My head snaps to the side violently and my cheek burns. I can hardly believe it, but he actually dared to hit me in public. Not that anyone would intervene, no, that would be suicide. But now it is obvious that I am not enjoying any benefits. Only pain. And punishment.

Innea is furious, mad even. She roars loudly, while coming close, her head tilted to my father. She bares her teeth and curls her tongue like she wants to spit fire.

‚I will KILL him! Codagh can surely fuck off but I will NOT accept any disrespect against MY rider!‘ she roars loudly in my head and over the flight field. 

The ground vibrates as the black monster approaches us. Its snout twisted into a nasty grimace. God, it is so ugly, and yet so powerful. I hate it with all my heart.

'Innea, don't do it. We are only at the beginning of our adventure here. I refuse to let this be the end. Please take a step back. I will sort this out with him. He will no longer have any control over me, but he is still the commanding general of the Navarrean army. So please, don't let yourself be provoked, as much as I want to rip both of their heads off aswell.‘

I can sense the stares of the other cadets, riders and leadership. I don’t dare to turn my head to see who is judging, who has pity in their eyes, or who is just observing (we all know who I am talking about). Innea still grumbles, mad and absolutely terrifying. Shuffling can be heard, when Codagh reaches us, tilting his into my direction, directly staring into my eyes. Out of my eye I can see blue. 

‚Sgaeyl is to the right, if he dares to attack‘ my dragon says.

She would .. protect us? 

‚They all would. You’ve got your wing at your back. They definitely would defend you and me. And your friends would be the first ones to come to your rescue.‘

Fuck, I will never be able to thank them enough.

I raise my chin, looking my father in his (cruel and cold) eyes, ignoring his dragon at his back.

„I apologize, General. For offending you. My dragon and I will work on it, to strengthen our bond and hopefully manifest a powerful signet to defend .. the kingdom. We will protect those who can’t protect themselves and fight against any threat.“ If he noticed the pause he doesn’t let it show. 

He nods. „I’ll see you in a few weeks.“ He steps closer, to close for my (and Inneas) liking. „If I hear just one misstep, or one mistake, no matter you or your dragon, it will be over for the both of you.“ He whispers. All I can do is nod my head. He steps away and leaves me alone with Innea. I can finally breathe again. Fuck, one day he will kill me.

‚He will not. I will not let anything happen to you. You are my rider, I chose you and we will survive this together.‘

Taglist: @puttyly @lxnvmvrzx @freyagallileaevans @aroacemushroom @dragonsandrinks

[princessozera]

so, random thought, there's a good chance the demon bros inadvertently harmed mc in some capacity just because human and demon limits are so vastly different, and the main human any have had contact with is Solomon, whose humanity is somewhat debatable. mc might act like they're invincible, but they are human in the end, and human durability is largely that we can keep going after almost any injury, not that we don't get injured

like Lucifer strings them up as he would his brothers, forgetting (assume he's really tired or stressed or whatever) that doing so puts a lot of pressure on the body and can cause actual damage instead of just being annoying like it is to his brothers. depending on how exactly he ties them up it'd change the effects but it's never gonna be great for them

Mammon running away from shenanigans with them and he tugs on their hand a bit too hard and fast to get them safely around a corner and dislocates their shoulder in the process because force = mass x speed and Mammon is a speedy boy. or he's running from Lucifer and slams into them at top speed, and if they can't protect their head from the wall/floor you know Mams is freaking out because mc is all out of it and there's so much blood and he doesn't care how Lucifer punishes him as long as he makes sure mc is alright

otaku Levi with his nonexistent sleep schedule doesn't realise just how badly sleep deprivation affects humans. paranoia, weakened immune system, depersonalisation, all the way to sleep deprivation psychosis. you go 96 hours or 4 days without sleep and lemme tell you, you ain't properly attached to reality anymore. been there, done that, would not recommend. there were bugs crawling all over my arms and legs and shadow people whispering. fucking sucked, and I was constantly shaking so I kept dropping stuff

if anyone knows about human durability, at least in theory, it's Satan, but the avatar of wrath can be emotionally charged. he really didn't mean to hurt them, but he was trying so hard not to lose it that day and as he led mc out of his room so they wouldn't be caught in the inevitable explosion, his deadly sharp claws nicked their skin. the wounds were mostly superficial— hurt like a bitch but no major arteries were damaged— but there was quite a lot of blood and Satan felt sick in a way he never had before. humans scar easily, a useful trait to close open wounds quickly, but Satan hates that he was the cause of those raised lines

Asmo is probably best at remembering since he hangs out with Solomon and has had human lovers before, but he is mostly around Solomon who cannot die. so he doesn't always remember what is and isn't toxic for humans, especially since a lot of poisons are used in medicines at lower doses and a lot of things we need to live are poisonous if we consume enough. it'd only take one slip up to put mc in hospital, and of course they don't blame him but he begs Satan to teach him as much as he can so it never happens again

you know Beel would try his best to remember, and he'd feel horribly guilty if he ever hurt mc, but he's big and strong even by demon standards and can eat anything that isn't Solomon's cooking. there's a few ways this one could go— sharing food with them that's toxic to humans, hugging them a bit too hard, mc giving him their food and going hungry, they work out together and they get hurt... take your pick

and Belphie knows all too well how fragile mc is, so he's very careful with his demonic strength around them. he already killed them once with barely any effort. but one day he wakes up from napping with mc to find he held them too hard and they're bruising. maybe his arm curled around their neck as it bloomed black and blue once again. Belphie doesn't nap with them for a while after that

! ANON! 💕💕💕💕

I don't know how you sniped me from across the highway but whump/injuries are exactly my cup of obsession and I've thought about this forever- i just never really had enough to make a full post. I LOVE your ideas and I hope you dont mind me bouncing some of my own off them;

----

Lucifer and his funny little habit of hanging his brothers 💕 Say he takes pity on MC, makes sure they're right side up, nothing around the neck and only tied beneath the arms and around the legs. Plans to take them down in 5 minutes, really it was meant to be the pet equivalent of air jail. But a call here, difficulties there and 5 minutes turn to 10 and then it slips to 15. It's so little time, absolutely nothing compared to the nights he's left Mammon up over the banister.

So why are there screams in the hall? Why are Asmo, Mammon and Levi on the phone with Solomon, Barbatos, and Simeon respectively? He doesn't understand why they don't immediatley drop MC down, only catching the tail end of Solomon explaing something called "suspension trauma" to Asmo. When they do get MC down, even from a distance he can see the color is almost completely gone from their face, while their legs are a few shades darker. He watches Satan mouth out the count for MC's pulse, quick and staggering. When MC wakes, they can't seem to take a proper breath- gasping, clutching their chest, tearing up and confused. There isn't much more any of them can do, other than stand back and hand MC over to Barbatos and Solomon.

----

In a movie, it would be considered slapstick comedy, the way that Mammon skid around a corner full speed, carpet pulling under his feet , hip checking the wall as he ran away from Lucifer. In a movie it would be hilarious they way him and MC crashed, sending them literally flying back, head bouncing off the wall, swirls in their eyes and stars dancing around their head. In a movie they would only need to shake it off and get up to yell at him, with Lucifer standing back and watching in smug satisfaction.

But there wasn't anything funny about this, MC slumped in his arms, blood turning his tshirt into a darker shade of black, making it tacky and stick onto his skin. They're awake, sort of? But their pupils aren't the same size, and the speech is slurred. There's a truce as Lucifer heals MC, and they get them to a proper doctor.

Mammon gets better at ducking and weaving around MC, it even helps him evade Lucifer better. But MC doesn't escape the dislocated shoulders, and unwanted popping of their knuckles when Mammon holds their hand too hard. Neither had known that after the first dislocation, its a lot easier to dislocate your should again. It's never intentional, but it always hurts- MC tries to breathe through it if there is an urgency, but Mammon catches the way they pointedly look away, trying to blink the tears away, and knows that he's- once again- failed to keep MC out of harm.

---------

Levi being MC's energy drink dealer. He doesnt know why they dont but their own, but he has plenty so he ultimately doesnt mind sharing. They're not attached at the hip so he doesnt see how little sleep MC is getting, a single can carrying them through 2 whole days. They know its time to 1-up again when their heart stops sounding like helicopter blades.

He finds them on the floor of their room, rubbing their arms raw with the hard bristle brush Asmo uses to buff his horns, babbling incoherently to themselves.

-----

With Satan the physical is NEVER intentional, as much as he used to rage in the early days of the fall, the thought of hurting MC didn't sit well with him. But tiny nicks are so easy to cause when even his regular nails are sharper than a humans'. If MC can keep their reactions subtle, it wont be until Satan is laying in their lap that he notices the "freckles" on their arms don't quite lay flat.

When you're used to fast reflexes, you don't think twice about slamming a door in someone's face. Someone (MC) who was too close and now has a broken, bloody nose. Now whenever the snore in their sleep, or their nose whistles when they laugh too hard, Satan remembers opening the door to MC doubled over, blood leaking from between their fingers as they tried to put pressure on the bridge of their nose.

-------

Dosage and concentration.

Asmo is vaugely familiar with these terms- SPF strength, alcohol proofing, acidity in his skin care. He's had so many spa nights with Solomon that he doesn't think twice about sharing his skin care routine with MC as well. Powders, gels, creams, exfoliants. Some a bit too harsh, MC's skin turns warm and flush, so he thinks their skin is sensitive. He'd ask for help caring for his wings and horns. MC goes in with their bare hands to get a good scrub, attributing the burn to the rough edges and upturned edges of Asmo's horns. It feels like icyhot, so it must be working. When they're done, Asmo tries to take the rest of the cream off their hands to apply to his hands, but they both scream as a visible layer of skin from MC starts peeling off as well. The acid having fulling numbed and killed off most of the senses in MC's hand, had started to deteriorate the skin, and its by some small blessing that MC hadnt already applied it to their face. It takes a panicked called to Solomon to get the feeling back into MC's hands, but it still takes weeks for the skin to grow back on to their hands. The pain of bandages on raw muscle is excruciating, and Asmo sticks to them like glue, fully taking the blame for their condition.

-----

Beel and Belphie have another trauma to share as twins- nearly killing MC in their sleep! Beel doesnt understand how heavy an unconcious body can be, and being as large as he is, this becomes a problem the first time him and MC share a bed. He falls asleep with an arm draped over them, but exhaustion from practice has him rolling on to them. Even if not entirely covering them, the weight on their chest makes it hard to breathe and MC soon drops nicities and is trying their damnest to get him off or at least wake him up. Its a panicked use of the pacts to call another brother that saves them, and Beel cant sleep for the rest of the night.

Belphie doesn't have as many night terrors these days, but they can still get bad. Usually sleeping with MC can keep these dreams at bay, but on nights that they dont, he wakes up to find MC tossed onto the floor or squeezed between him and the wall. On the worsts of these nights, he woke up to MC screaming, having wrapped a hand and tail so tightly around their arm that it shattered in 2 places.

(Can I also offer a beel and belphie alternative: MC wanting to match Beel's stamina/ gym workout time and getting muscle deterioration. Belphie wanting a sleeping partner so he messes up their sleeping cycles, 10+ hrs asleep, accidentally depriving them of light, water, and food, causing a depressive episode)

[sp-growingpains]

What sort of "nerd" stuff do you hc the sp guys being into? (Like DND, Star Trek, jrpgs)

So I wanted to wait until I was off work for this one because, like, I'm about to go off!

Stan 'Dungeon Dork' Marsh:

Look you know. I know it. God knows it. He's a nerd pretending to be an 'all American boy next door.'

> Miniature painting king!

> Him and Nichole both are THE people to go to if you ever wanna have something painted.

> I also think he's the best at Homebrewing things. Monsters, Feats, Magical Items, even Classes!

> His favorite Class is Ranger -> subclass Revised Beast Master!

> And he doesn't just play D&D! I think that starts as a gateway drug for him

> We already see he's into Warhammer 40k which have amazing ttrpg books btw

> For the superhero lover in him, definitely Wild Talents!

> In my opinion anything Stan can mentally break down, lay out, and put back together makes him happy - so finding and building characters and worlds scratches that itch for him!

> Casual Pokémon player, only gets competitive with Kyle! Will get defensive over his favorite Pokémon.

-> I think his favorite would be Rockruff or Lucario (especially after watching the movie)

-> They watch the movie and Stan points to the tv when Sir Aaron comes on and is like "That me." Cosplays him

> Which leads to my next thing. Loves cosplay. Cannot craft costumes. Ends up paying out of pocket for someone or his mom to do it

> Somehow convinces the guys to do group costumes together. I fully believe the Avengers costumes were his idea

> That being said, die hard Marvel fan. Doesn't hate DC, but I just know in my heart that boy doesn't give DC the time of day (I just love that his favorite is Captain America. He just like me fr fr)

> As for video games. I can see him really like fighting games. Casual Smash player (Mains Chrom and Pit.) but if you roll up on him in Tekken. Dude sweeps

> Won't get angry if he loses but will get pissy and sceptical. Like...it had to be luck that you won. No way you beat him

> He's alright at First Person shooters. He enjoys listening to the guys more than the actual game.

> Do I even have to say he plays RPGs? Like Baldurs Gate? Dragon Age? I think any game that's story based and you can make your own character, Stan is playing it. Catch him humming Persona music under his breath and teaching himself how to play all the music

> Game Grumps fan! Is the most chill fan though. Loves watching the Kirby Dream Course

> Had Kyle help him build his computer and stays on top of it for the most part.

> Has Discord Nitro

Kyle 'Here for the ride I swear' Broflovski:

Fucking liar. Dude is as big of a nerd as Stan. He's just quiet about it. I don't think it's shame, just he doesn't put as much energy into it as Stan does. Until Stan is involved. Then he's all over it.

> I think Kyle would be really embarrassed to play D&D at first.

> Hear me out. I know he played TSOT with the other kids. But it's a little different. Running around as kids beating each other with sticks and rocks was something he was probably told to give up.

> like "You're not a little kid anymore Kyle. Don't you think that's a little immature?"

> But after Stan begs him and he gets into the groove of it, he finds he really loves it.

> More importantly, he loves the storytelling aspect. The collaboration that comes with being at a table with other people.

> His first character is a high elf of course. Plays a druid -> subclass Wildfire

> Immediately gets a power trip from how BUSTED Druid is

> I honestly think after too many times of Cartman fudging dice or being a pain in the dick, he takes over being the DM

> Loves it more than being a player. Spends his free time writing up plots. Npcs. Events. Backstories.

> He's the kinda DM where if you peek behind their screen, has his shit together (Google Matt Mercer's DM screen and just...yeah that)

> Kind of a stickler for rules but if it's cool he'll let you get away with it

> Much to Stan's dismay, Kenny is his favorite player.

> Won't admit it often, but he genuinely loves the drama and characters that Cartman brings to the table

> Plays in Stan's other games, but he honestly just keeps going back to D&D. Maaaaaaybe Vampire of the Masquerade.

> I headcanon that Kyle goes through a shift in the middle of getting his law degree and goes into English instead

> After finishing his degree, he publishes books about his friends and their adventure. Both in life and at the table

> He loves, LOVES comics. Both a Marvel and DC fan boy. Don't get him started on Dark Horse. (YAPPER!)

> Also a huge Star Wars fan. When the Mandalorian came out, he hosted a watch party

> Avid movie collector. Not just superheros but like classics.

> Maybe in the future I can see him starting a podcast where he watched and talks about movies. Bringing on a different friend each time.

> Loves to build computers. Man can build you the dream PC and provides you with a little cheat sheet on how to take care of it.

> Tech support if he likes you

> FPS King.

> If you play Halo Swat with him. No, you don't. It's just headshot after headshot

> Is unapologetic about it. He won't get snarky about it unless you start to.

> Absolutely rages in video games. Maybe not enough that he's smashing shit, but he's had to replace the joysticks a few times

> Keeps himself on push to talk for that reason.

> He loves Minecraft if he gets to play with someone else. Really good at mining and combat. Ike got him on it and he watches videos when he's eating dinner. Got YouTube propped up and everything.

> Probably fucked around with Destiny 2 a little bit but fell off it when no one wanted to play with him and randos just kept pissing him off

> Got into Pokémon for Stan and Kenny, ended up latching onto the third generation.

> This one is purely indulgence, but I can see him secretly loving the sims.

-> His favorite would probably be Kyogre. No he doesn't care if Legendaries don't count, fuck you.

> As for Smash because I know they all play not just Stan, he mains Fox and Ganondorf

-> That one you gotta waterboard it outta him.

> Got discord Nitro to match with Stan once and just kinda kept it since.

Kenny 'Hobby Supporter' McCormick:

Kenny is one of those nerds you meet and you're like, "Jesus christ, how is this guy so cool?!"

> Dived headfirst into the D&D shit with the others. He was absolutely ready to play with his friends

> I have said this before, I'll say it again, is actually the role playing star. He's got the range darling

> Every character is different, unique, and fun! He'll come to the table with the most out of pocket ass character and just blows people away

> You're like "there he goes again, a fucking joke character"

> Wrong. You got, got. This character has a beautiful backstory, makes sense in lore, and is a team player

> Kenny is every DMs dream player. He shows up with an idea. Asks questions about your world. Engages with other players and makes them feel comfortable. Does things that his character would do WITHOUT fucking over the party and campaign

> And to top it all off. He can do voices. What a perfect asshole

> Will show up late, though, and if he has something come up, he'll forget and tell the group last minute. Oops

> Oh his favorite class? Bard -> Subclass Glamor. Race doesn't really matter to him, so probably Changeling

> He likes to make props and bring them to the table. Oftentimes, they're little pieces of jewelry or an accessory, hats that sort of thing

> He's usually the one that ends up helping Stan with his cosplay ideas. Stan will come to him with an idea, get three sentences in, and Kenny just shrugs and goes "I'm down."

> The kinda person to bring extra material when they go to cons to help you fix your outfit.

> POV - you're at a con and a piece of your costume just tore. Before you can get upset about it. Kenny McCormick comes gliding across the ground with a small kit on their side. They're wearing the most gorgeous Rosalina costume you've ever seen. They bend down and fix that part of your costume and before you can say anything they boop you with the handcrafted wand.

> Behind him are his friends dressed as Mario, Luigi, and Bowser. You already know who they are. I don't need to assign them.

> My dude is so fucking cool. He loves listening to people talk about their -sonas or ocs. Definitely has a fursona and is so chill about it.

> Kenny loves Monster High and you can pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands

> I'm also a firm believer in punk Kenny! Patch jackets, pits, protests, boycotts, music - the whole nine yards!

-> that's not a nerd headcanon I'm just projecting again sorry

> Back on track, I think Kenny is a DC fan for fucking sure

> You CANNOT look at Mysterion and tell me he's not a die hard Batman fan. But I'm talking Batman the animated series Batman fan!

> Kenny is the kinda fan that will absolutely be chill about it until he reads a comic that gets the character all wrong. Then it's like a switch flips.

> I headcanon Kenny as a little theater kid so anything involving that, he's all over

> The guys will come to his plays and while they might make jabs at him for doing it, they're all very proud of their friend

> He drug Butters along with it and those two are a POWERHOUSE on stage. No matter the roles, they kill it every time

> Also maybe not a nerd thing, but huge in the nerd space, if you ever have questions or struggle with self identity - Kenny is the first to pick up on it. And he's so fucking good at doing it casually, like you can trust him with it all

> Sexuality? Gender identity? Any of it, he'll be there to listen and offer advice if you want it

> Does not fuck around with people dead naming you, catch these Netherborn hands fucko

> I see him as a casual video game player. Loves anything he can just shut his brain off and relax to. Also really loves rhythm games.

-> Dude, I just know in my heart they didn't show Kenny playing Guitar Hero with the guys because he'd smoke 'em

> Unapologetic about the amount of mods he has on the sims 4. How many hours he has in Stardew Valley or Harvest Moon. Its about the progression baby!

> That and he likes to put his friends in fun little outfits in the sims

> Loves Pokémon and I know I just said he likes games he can relax to...not Pokémon. Will break down your entire team and sweeps. WHILE also picking his favorites.

> Doesn't know shit about computers aside from modding his game. Has called Kyle at three in the morning for advice and help

-> I imagine his favorite being Gardevoir.

> For the smash bit, he mains Peach, Rosalina and god help you if they pick Zelda.

-> Kyle answers every time.

"This the last time Kenny..."

"Sure sweetness, keep telling yourself that."

> Does not have discord Nitro and does not care to. He's got a meme for everything

Maybe I'll do a part 2 to this because honestly I had a lot of fucking fun with this! Got me out of my head and I got to write some stuff again! Thank you so, so much!

[iguessitsjustme]

Pit Babe 2 Ep 5 Thoughts

Friends! I am feeling better! Well. Kind of. I am still not well. BUT today is a good day. Well a good day in terms of how I'm feeling. Other things today sucked but those are unimportant and mean nothing. What is important is it is finally time for me to watch Pit Babe. Under the cut:

Wait wait actually I need to switch to my good headphones for this. I do not want to be interrupted by sidewalk people.

Obligatory I love this theme song so much. Wait wait I saw someone mash this up with Deja Vu by ATEEZ. I think I reblogged it but I need to mention it again because it is SO FUCKING GOOD and also was one of the highlights of my week. (Future Rae - find it and link it)

Well if the mpreg plan didn't work I guess this is what he has left. It is a far worse plan. Much less fun for me personally. Why not try the mpreg plan again. Just for a laugh. C'mon Pit Babe. Go there. Do it. Give us the mpreg we deserve (I need it noted that I don't really care for mpreg but I do care about shows taking risks and breaking barriers. If Pit Babe won't do mpreg then what show will? We need Pit Babe to open the door to other shows doing it. Less chaotic shows doing it)

My mother is interrupting my watching to tell me that the little bistro that she's at is playing kpop and that she needs to bring me there. She recognized one song so far and it's Black Pink. This has nothing to do with the liveblog except to say I love my mother and she is allowed to interrupt Pit Babe. She is on a list of very few people

Everyone: how do we find him can we track him with this? maybe that's possible. Kenta: so Tony is definitely doing this underground and will not be easily traced

Yeah. Kenta and Kim will be great together because they got the two brain cells of the group.

FINALLY. MY BOYS

Not to be that person because we still don't have a lot of information on Willy but like. What if the solution is poly? The three scooter boys. Riding their scooters. They can go on scooter dates. Have I lost my mind? Maybe. I don't know. I just want poly and I wouldn't hate CharlieBabeWilly. Would any of them like it? Probably not. But this is just in my head. The scooter boys. On their scooter date.

SONIC ON A SCOOTER TOO? Fine he can join but only if he brings North with him.

NOT UNTIL THIS SHOW'S OVER YOU DON'T

Sure it is! First step. Open your mouth. Second step. USE YOUR WORDS. Third step. Eternal love.

USE YOUR WORDS DKFHKLJFHKLJHGKH

Just fucking talk to North! Confess! North hasn't confessed because you keep pulling away so YOU have to take that step. And then you won't be in "the friend zone" anymore. The friend zone doesn't even exist! Just. SKDJGHKDJHGKJHDKJFGH He's killing me. If this disease doesn't get me first, Sonic is gonna kill me dead.

My man Chris. He can do no wrong. I love him.

I mean. He's not wrong. Can Pete honestly say that he would have hooked up with Chris or had any interest in him if he didn't look like Way? Just sayin

This whole bit with Alan is personally attacking me.

GIVE ME THE MEAT SKEWERS

I cannot eat part of them but still I WANT TO CONSUME

I was gonna say something about how I want to eat meat on a stick and then realized I am eating a corn god…so. Ya know. I mean it's a vegetarian corn dog but it's fake meat on a stick.

WHOMST. OLD? WHO? OLD WHO? CERTAINLY NOT THE MAN THAT IS MOST LIKELY IN HIS THIRTIES. NOPE. NO WAY YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ALAN CAUSE IF YOU ARE I'M GONNA JUMP INTO THE SHOW AND BEAT YOU UP BABE. I'M TINY BUT I'M FEISTY I COULD DO IT.

First of all, aging is beautiful and being old is a fantastic thing. But Alan. Is. Not. Old. I'm gonna start BITING.

I refuse to believe any of these men are shy about sex.

The racing is back yay!

Oh my baby boy is back. I love him. He's so unhinged.

But Willy where is your scooter?

Babe will always lose to Willy because he keeps giving Willy the time of day.

Willy is gonna win this race.

I want North to win a race actually.

Okay. I need Willy to have some sort of power that is helping him here because I don't like that the only way Babe (or anyone) can win is if he lets them. Even in the first season with Babe was the guy no one could beat, if someone else won, it was because they would have earned it. Babe winning because he is being given the win…every time? Doesn't track with his skill set unless Willy has a power helping him. Like being neck and neck and winning or losing would sit better in my stomach than this. I know. I know this is for the plot. But consider. Not my favorite thing. I hope we get some Willy lore soon so I can enjoy the races more.

WHERE ARE YOUR GLASSES BOY

Better

That's not true! You've got your winning personality.

I feel bad for the people that clean the pool.

Yesss Chris. Do something sinister. Or something to advance your agenda whatever that is. Move this plot along!

Chris seeing the picture of Way is actually very funny to me.

Boy why do you know Way's birthday?

Man it would be nice if I could READ THE TEXT ON THE SCREEN. Unfortunately I don't speak Thai and cannot read Thai. Just gonna pretend like I know what he's looking at

Why does that drug look like pee in a test tube?

I love Kim so fucking much.

So the thing is with Tony right. He 1. underestimates Kenta. Constantly. But 2. is incapable of factoring in the Kim of it all. Kim who has a conscience AND a brain. Kim is why Tony is gonna lose. Whether directly or indirectly, Kim will be Tony's downfall. And I love that for them.

No Willy don't assault him noooo that's evil of you in the not fun and cool way. Now I gotta kill you.

Whelp. What an awful way to end this episode thank god for that preview. I think I'm gonna listen to my audiobook for a bit now before watching something else cause that angered me. 

No music analysis this week. Like I said, I'm better but I'm still not well. And while I think I could do one, it would take a lot out of me and I don't have much to spare right now. But if you want my thoughts on any specific scene's music or anything at all, please ask. Happy to chat always.

[toothlespoggers]

I got silly and infodumped again…

The fact that crystalised despite being the worst ninjago season by far- showed that for a long time now, possibly since season 11 has had his emotions turned off. Is crazy to me. Because I know Cole had a pretty okay moment with Zane about it and he ended up turning it back on in the same season or maybe even same episode I can’t fully recall. But I don’t know how mentally fucked these characters are or what- but I feel like no one stopped to think about that for enough time. Like Cole, he’s a very caring, affectionate, empathetic guy. Yet even he didn’t really seem to register the implications this had for Zane’s mental health. Zane is filled with so much emotional turmoil that he physically couldn’t bear to feel anymore. And this group of traumatised young adults were like- “oh haha Zane, that’s so quirky, that’s so silly of you, haha relatable anyway-“ Like duuuude I don’t know if this is the writers wanting to avoid actually discussing mental health in a “children’s” show or if these characters have had such little emotional awareness and support through their lives, almost dying everyday since they were teenagers that they are so desensitised to the horrors tm that they literally cannot tell when someone is basically holding a sign over their head saying “I NEED SERIOUS HELP.”

That kinda says a lot about Sensei wu, doesn’t it? I mean he’s great we Stan- but he did kinda adopt a bunch of struggling teenagers and burden them with saving the world and then allowed them to put themselves in harms way for years, without ever sitting them down and asking them if they were okay, emotionally? Like I don’t know if this happened and I didn’t see it or if it was implied to happen off screen but I really doubt wu was any sort of a support system for these guys that treated him like a father figure.  

Maybe it’s because this cycle of pain goes back to wu as well, because he’s not the most stable person in the world either, but idk it feels crazy to me that these people that were basically family. Just- never checked in on eachothers well being or looked out for each others mental issues.

I mean they never really got a break and when they did- hell the only reason season 11 happened was because wu, so obsessed with the ninja being in tip top condition urged them to do something, which led these idiots to unleashing Aspheera and then ended up with probably the worst fate you could wish upon a Lego, for Zane. Seriously the fact they turned the ice emperor thing into a joke is so tone deaf to me like if this happened to your friend. In real life, (just suspend disbelief for a second) you would be absolutely GUTTED. You’d probably feel SO BAD. And that person? Probably can’t function like a normal individual anymore. Probably needs serious therapy.  Not a joke.

I don’t hate wu, I never did. But I just think he’s been very irresponsible with the way he’s handled his students and while he’s wise in some aspects 70% of problems in the show could’ve been avoided if this old man valued communication.

And if this isn’t based on the characters flaws. And it’s Lego refusing to discuss mental illness and mental health. COME ON LEGO IT WOULD EDUCATE YOUR YOUNG AUDIENCE ON PTSD, ANXIETY AND HOW TO HEALTHILY DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS. Because right now, if you wanna deal with issues the ninja way, YOU BURY THEM AND TAKE THEM TO THE GRAVE AND YOU NEVER COMPLAIN OR REST.

All I want is at least one episode where it’s not all about the current bad guy or plot and it’s just about the ninja actually confiding in one another and trying to help their friends out. Maybe Zane or Lloyd finally snap and have a full mental breakdown and the only way to deal with it is for them to actually talk about it and work it out. I’m sure you can make a compelling episode with that in mind. They’ve tried to address mental health in the show with Lloyds anxiety arc thing in DR they need to do better.

We need a scene in DR where Zane and Frohicky are at the monastery while the other ninja are doing stuff, (maybe I’ll work out the details more and write something on this) and something happens where all the pain and trauma and just, awfulness just builds up in Zane’s mind and he just. Has a moment where he cracks. And he stops working on whatever he’s working on. And Frohicky notices the shift in the air and suddenly his entire demeanour changes and he comes over concerned and Zane is standing there or kneeling and Frohicky puts his hand on his shoulder and asks. “Are you okay?” And Zane just doesn’t know how to respond. He tries to shake everything off but he can’t, he’s never been asked that before. And Frohicky starts babbling on trying to help him and offers to get him set up so he can rest, and Zane doesn’t have the strength to object or the will to say anything and he’s just like.

“I.. don’t know.” In a final response to the previous question. 

And it’s just a scene where Zane accepts Frohickys gesture of kindness. And while not everything is fixed obviously. You can slowly see the tension leaving him.

Because it matters if someone asks you if you’re okay. It reaches into the darkest place and offers a hand saying “I’ll listen.” And that could genuinely change someone’s life.

[flowery-language]

𓆩♡𓆪 STAY AWAY. Loser! Ellie Williams headcanons

a/n : I am struggling to start writing and stop procrastinating on writing the series I am working on so have some quick Ellie head canons while you wait also loser!Ellie is just regular Ellie and y’all aren’t ready for that conversation also it isn’t much sorry I’ve been struggling with procrastinating on writing got to put something out for the mean time

Inspired by seriously go read theirs @cowgirlcherrie and my one of my close friends mannerisms

Warnings/content: 18+ mentions of sex mostly fluff and also Ellie is a loser and cursing fingering!receiving masturbating and mentions of face riding

ੈ✩‧₊˚ you met loser!Ellie in Highschool and you bonded your intense overwhelming hatred for the people at your school over how much you hated everyone else here and that your the only person she could tolerate

“Everyone here are fucking npc’s with no capacity for thinking for themselves”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Loser!Ellie definitely owns a women love me fish fear me shirt that she started wearing ironically until it wasn’t anymore

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she always had to make jokes about her nonexistent dick much to your annoyance she has the humor of twelve year old boy

“How about you suck 15 inch cock”

“You don’t have one” you exclaimed

“Fuck you mean women literally beg me to see it”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie unironically loves family guy and American guy and and fucking loves Rick and Morty and Bojack horseman

“I know I am a lesbian but I would fuck rick Sanchez no questions asked”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ you and loser!Ellie bonded over your intense overwhelming hatred for chase Atlantic

“They sound like they are fucking singing in cursive”

“I know right thank you someone gets it”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!ellie has the music taste of someone’s father and she is very unapologetic about it she listens to Radiohead, nirvana, slipknot, the cure and the Beatles. etc

“ you should listen to the cure”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie got into an argument once with you because you said you liked Saturn more than Jupiter

“Jupiter or Saturn pick one”

“Uh—Saturn”

“Jupiter is fucking better”

“No it’s not I like Saturn better”

“You only like Saturn because it’s fucking pretty”

“No I don’t”

“Yes you fucking do”

“Whatever”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie cannot flirt with women for shit she just infodumps to them and hopes her info would get them to like her and wanna be with her and she is lucky that she is attractive enough to pull it off

ੈ✩‧₊˚ when loser!Ellie started to develop a crush on you she would do favours and constantly try to impress you she once took you to skater park to show you the tricks she was learning she ended up falling flat on her face because she was too busy staring into your eyes and she had the biggest blush on her face when you laughed at her for it.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ By the time Loser!Ellie developed feelings for you she would go above and beyond because suddenly the concept of helping others was completely uninteresting until it was you you got your heart shattered by another girl and all she could think of is that she would never treat you that way ever.

“It’s just that I wished that she didn’t string me along for a month and actually rejected me instead of telling me she liked me back when she didn’t”

“I swear when I see that fucker in my line of vision it won’t be pretty you deserve better than her anyway you were out of her league”

“Honestly I am starting to think maybe it’s because I am not attractive enough for girls to want me”

“Don’t fucking say that you were out of her league you will find someone who treats you so good ”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ loser!Ellie always wants you to try smoking weed with her even though you very much didn’t like taking drugs or being high it’s mostly because you make her so nervous and if she was high with you she could maybe try to flirt with you without fumbling her words and not looking you in the eye.

“Come on try it for me it feels really good I promise”

“Yeah no thanks Ellie”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she knew that she couldn’t keep this to herself anymore she wanted you and Every time you tried to date someone else it made her genuinely sick to her stomach.

“ oh fuck saying this shit isn’t easy but I gotta say it I like you okay I really really do”

“Your fucking with me right now if your joking Ellie it’s not funny”

“I am not joking I fucking do okay”

“Wait your not”

“Of course I am not”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ NSFW section

ੈ✩‧₊˚ you are always the first person she thinks of when she gets high late at night she has to resist the urge to call you over her hand in her boxers.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Loser!Ellie has a happy trail.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she loves it when you ride her face and not just hovering she wants you to sit on it at first you were really nervous and insecure but she was a having the time of her life and Everytime you do hover she would beg you sit properly

“Babe please just sit stop fucking hovering”

ੈ✩‧₊˚she loves it when you ride her thighs she loves the sensory experience of you riding it and when you ride her fingers she always wishes to be inside you and feel it when you ride it

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she is obsessed with you wearing her clothes especially her boxers she loves giving them to you

“You’re gonna run out of boxers to wear if you keep this up”

“I don’t fucking care”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ she loves you to death and will not hesitate to show it off she always loves mentioning you much to literally everyone’s annoyance.

“My girl is getting a PHD is so smart”

“This reminds me my girlfriend really loves these flowers I gotta get them”

[nerd-at-sea5]

i have a cold atm. so uh. yellowjackets when they’re sick headcanons!

jackie - will go to school if she’s coughing/sneezing a little, but the moment it gets worse than that she’s in the office asking to be taken home. does make a big deal out of it and is kinda dramatic. is aggressively helpful whenever any of her friends are sick (meds, reading articles, getting homework, telling jokes, whatever she can do to be helpful)

shauna - dislikes being sick to the point that jackie has called her mom for her to pick her up multiple times bc shauna refuses to acknowledge it. will contact teachers at 6am letting them know she’s missing school and asking for the work. hates taking care of other people when they’re sick. will sit outside jackie’s room reading to her but won’t go inside

nat - fucking hates being sick bc she feels pathetic/useless whenever she is. normally when she’s sick she goes 1-2 days ignoring it, then lottie makes her stay over and takes care of her. nat also rarely gets sick. like she’s gone years without having to stay home from school, however when she’s sick, she’s sick. is really good at taking care of people but she only does it to people she really likes (lottie, van, laura lee and akilah)

lottie - has never gotten sick in her life. likes to joke that her brain is fucked enough so her body just decided to never mess with her. is one of the most caring people when someone’s sick. she makes nat stay at her house until she’s better, she’ll bring matzah ball soup to shauna (she did accidentally give shauna salmonella once bc she fucked up making it but it’s fine), gossips with jackie, will binge movies with van, catch tai up on homework, read books to laura lee - she’s the best person to ever be sick around.

van - is a lot like nat except they don’t succumb to it after 3 days. they’ll just keep going till they physically cannot anymore. tai once forced them to stay at her house bc van threw up twice during practice and nat had to drag them to the locker room. will literally only be around tai and nat when they’re sick because they hate it so much. (they’re dysphoria skyrockets when they’re sick) nat and van once got sick together and they just watched movies for 38 hours straight until lottie showed up and made them take medicine

tai - the moment she thinks she’s even a little sick she takes medicine, contacts her teachers and coaches and then sleeps until she’s fine again. refuses to be sick for more than a day so she never is. envy’s lottie for never getting sick, will not be around any sick person aside from van. she’ll just drop off someone’s homework for them and that’s it. the only person she tolerates around her when she’s sick is her mom bc she’ll sing to tai and tai is ok with her mom taking care of her (no one else. ever)

laura lee - just burrows under blankets until she’s better, when she’s sick it almost always means throwing up sick and since she’s the oldest her parents will stay home with her (if they can’t they have the second oldest) she just gets quiet and sad and a lot of the time lottie and nat go to her house to cheer her up (it’s the only time her parents don’t judge nat). (in the case of my nb laura lee hc - i think their dysphoria also gets worse when they’re sick, bc they’re whole body hurts and they’re hyper aware of their chest)

misty - freaks out and thinks it’s WAY worse than it actually is, had taken herself to the ER for a head cold before (she was fine). normally will just hangout with her mom and listen to show tunes until she’s better

[theminecraftbox]

i dont know if you answer any coparent au asks anymore but i literally just now read through the entire tag and am Going Insane. words cannot describe the demons that are Taking over my brain right now. (the c!awesamdreamons, if you will…)

so im curious, does briar ever date anyone as a teenager/young adult? i imagine that with parents as… toxic and fucked up as dream and sam, that his perception of romantic relationships is Also really fucked up! especially during/after the contract and marriage eras. granted im sure hes been to other people’s houses whose parents are fairly normal, relatively speaking, but hes seen one of the Worst relationships in existence, and been around it ever since he was eight years old. if he ever does take up dating, does he ever fear his partner will hurt him? (…does he ever fear he’ll hurt his partner?)

@cgogs yes... there is a girl in high school, in the year before Sam comes back. Her name is Tiffany. She's a breath of normal air. She likes cats. They like to roughhouse. She found him a support group. When Sam returns, he runs off to crash with her for a bit.

His relationship to relationships is a bit strange, because it actually took him a long time to realize that Dream and Sam had interactions besides captive and captor. He was young and they hid it, and it was very different then. It's only when he gets a bit older and gets some context that he's able to work it out. And then Sam comes back, of course.

His relationship with her doesn't survive much longer. Briar is nineteen and he knows true hate, and there's no space for something more.

Consciously, he doesn't quite fear the idea of his partner hurting him: he's building himself into someone who cannot be hurt. What he fears is the emotional subjugation of leashing himself to someone else, the way it can sicken and weaken. Like he saw it do to his mother.

[hermiola]

Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @turquoisedata 💜

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

14. 6 Good Omens + 8 MCU, but we have to go back to 2014 and 2016 for those. I also used to publish on an Italian fanfiction archive where I have 70 more fics (I went back to check and count them after approximately two thousand years and HOLY SHIT, I didn't remember them being so many! My first fic is more than 20 years old WTF).

What’s your total word count?

150.000 words on AO3. But I'm guessing it's waaay higher than that (the Italian archive doesn't show the word count 🥲).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My GO fics have the most kudos (given the popularity of the fandom + the fact that they're written in English and not in Italian). I have 6, so the top 5 is basically all of them:

Take a Little Love From Me (Pretty Woman AU)

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (Post-Season 2 Fix-It)

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (Non-S2-complying silliness)

When Hell Freezes Over (Human AU with magician!Crowley and critic!Aziraphale)

Let There Be Rock (First meeting after 1967)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! I don't get that many, so it's not overwhelming, and I just like to respond. As I said somewhere else, my experience in the GO fandom has been mostly a solitary one (recently not so much though!) so I just like to interact whenever I can.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to consider only the GO ones because I feel like the others have been written by another me entirely (also I'm not sure I even remember them).

So it's definitely Let There Be Rock.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'd say all of them, but Take a Little Love From has a proper epilogue and everything. I guess their happiness has more space there than elsewhere.

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past, but not anymore.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I know of.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I LOOOOVE reading smut (especially in those chonky slow burn fics), but I can't bring myself to write explicit smut for some reason. I love describing the tension and the heat of the moment (I love UST so much I'm going to marry it tbh - like nothing makes me happier/hornier than two people who want to fuck each other but can't for some reason - am I edging myself? IDK) but when it comes to my own writing I feel like spelling out the details just ruins the moment. I do think it's my ace showing in some way. But, anyway, I read the filthiest filth so this definitely doesn't apply to reading. And who knows, maybe one day I'll try! I'm not ruling anything out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I used to translate HP fics back in the day (from English to Italian). We're talking 20 years ago. And it's funny when you think about it, because I translate novels for work now 🤣

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, always back in the day with HP. I'm still friends IRL with the girl I wrote them with (we actually met because of HP) (this is as good a time as any to say FUCK YOU JKR).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

This depends on the hyper-fixation of the moment. I cannot multitask with my OTPs. If I get obsessed with a new one, I retire the previous one. Like I could split my life into different time periods just based on my OTPs. Ron/Hermione has been my personality for YEARSSSS, but now I can barely think about HP without cringing. Another BIG ONE was Clint/Natasha from the MCU (which explains my look here on Tumblr), but the MCU as a whole has gone a bit stale for me (with few exceptions). And now it's all about Crowley/Aziraphale - it's so bad I had to unretire from fanfiction writing after almost 10 years LOL.

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The only one I can think of is a Clintasha Actors AU, but I don't think I have it anymore, and I wouldn't finish it even if I had.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and banter are my favourite things to write, and I think it shows.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English is not my first language, so my writing lacks variety I think. I feel like I have always the same phrases stuck in my head, so it's probably kind of repetitive, especially when compared to some of the fics I read. (But when I started writing my first GO fic in English I wasn't even sure I could *actually* do it, so I'm proud of myself either way!).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's okay! I personally would ask a native speaker to help me (if possible) instead of going the Google Translate route. Being Italian and watching/reading almost exclusively in English I know how silly it sounds when the characters start speaking your language and they're saying nonsense (but no harm done even in this case, imo, especially in fanfics. In movies, though, it's just lazy!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP, back in 2004 (welp).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, thankfully. If I'm writing fanfic it means I'm in the late stage of hyperfixation and I don't wish that on myself if I can help it. Like I used to read 50+ books a year before GO S2. It's bad!!!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Take a Little Love From Me mainly because it's the one I've spent more time with.

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @beerok23 - @sabotage-on-mercury - @gaiaseyes451 - @leviosally

[blckbarbiedoll]

Ghost Of You (M.B./R.J.)-Chapter 2.10

Every Second

2023-Chicago, Illinois

The smell of eggs, bacon, pancakes, and hash browns lingered in the air as Angie slid her shoes on. She had exactly ten minutes before she had to be out the door, but the real challenge these days wasn't the morning rush. It was getting her daughter to say more than two words to her.

"Is it good?"

Sophia shrugged, taking another bite. "I guess."

"I thought I'd make Daddy's favorite breakfast. Sorry mine isn't as good as his."

"It's okay."

Angie hesitated before speaking again. "Listen, baby, I talked to your teacher the other day."

Sophia finally looked up from her food and made eye contact with Angie. "About what?"

"She said you're not really enjoying school like you used to."

"It's boring."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah."

Angie sighed. "Okay. Well, why don't I drop you off with one of your friends? How about that girl...Kayla?"

"Me and Kayla aren't friends anymore."

"Oh. Okay. Who are some of your other friends?"

"I don't have any friends."

"Oh, honey." Angie placed a hand on Sophia's shoulder. "Of course you do. Eva's your friend."

"Eva's my cousin. And she's not even my real cousin."

"Don't say that, Soph."

"I don't wanna go anywhere."

"Well, Grandma's busy today, so you'll have to go somewhere."

Sophia crossed her arms. "Mom, I'm ten. I can stay home by myself."

"Mom? What happened to mommy?"

"I'm not a little kid anymore."

Angie sighed and sat next to her daughter at the table. "I know you're very independent, but you're still a child. My child. And I'm not leaving you here alone. You can just come to work with me."

"Ugh."

"Oh, come on. There was a time when you would've loved coming to work with me."

"I hate that place."

"Hey. What's with the negativity? Why do you hate the restaurant?"

"I just do." She finished her breakfast before standing up and heading to her room. "I need to get dressed."

"Great." Angie huffed and rested her head in her hands. "Just great."

🤍

"Look, it's Uncle Neil." Angie pointed.

"Sophers!" Fak embraced the girl with a smile.

"Hi, Uncle Neil."

"You wanna go sit in the office with Auntie Sugar?" Angie asked.

"I guess." She shrugged before leaving the room.

"She doesn't have school today?"

"No. President's Day."

"Hey, Ange."

"Carmy, how's the budget looking?"

"Not good." Sydney walked in.

"That's not true."

"It's true."

"Okay, fuck this. Watch." Carmen grabbed a stray piece of cardboard and a marker. "The Bear." He said as he wrote the name on the top. "We have equipment that works."

"Ish." Angie shrugged.

"It's a good start. Zero dollars. Then we have a very deep clean."

"The fryer is fucked." Gary chimed in.

"The fryer is fucked." Carmy repeated. "That's five thousand right there."

"No, that's ten for a used piece of shit fryer." Natalie said as she sipped on her coffee. "And then another ten for the correct fryer."

"And the oven is scary." Angie mentioned. "That's another ten."

"Okay, good." Carmy wrote. "Alright, so we got twenty."

"Thirty."

"Thirty? Fuck me." The blonde sighed. "Then we got windows, the demo, the brick. That's fifty plus twenty. So, seventy thousand. That's not that bad."

"Thirty, Carm. That's eighty."

"Fuck me. Cousin? Where's Richie?"

"Plus the permits, the inspections, and the licensing." Neil reminded. "And those people aren't nice."

"Yes, okay, ten plus seventy."

"Ninety, Carmen." Angie softly scolded.

"Ninety! I was gonna stay ninety."

"Fridge is fucked."

"So is the AC."

"Also, HVAC."

"So we are at eighty five?"

"Dude."

"Just kidding." Carmen chuckled at his sister in law. "Ninety five thousand dollars."

"These cannot be accurate." Angie looked at the list he was writing.

"I think I'm pretty much right on a couple of 'em."

"Oh, that's great."

"And you have to pay us, Jeffery."

"Yes, Tina. I've already set that aside."

"Also, I still don't see the drywall on there." Sydney pointed out.

"Actually, Richie's brother in law is gonna do the drywall." Angie told her.

"Cousin!" Carmy yelled. "Where the fuck is he? It's so weird when he doesn't answer me."

"He's downstairs." Sugar told him.

"What's he doing down there?" Angie asked.

"I don't fucking know. Doing whatever the fuck Richie does."

"Alright, I'll be back." Carmen left to go to the basement.

Angie sighed and looked at the list he wrote down. "We need more money."

"We need a project manager." Sugar added.

"Okay. You're hired."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Ange."

"Nat." She pointed to the list.

The blonde sighed and shook her head. "Not good."

"No, bad. It's bad."

"Yeah." She nodded.

🤍

"These pots are toast, mama." Tina said to Angie.

"I know, they fucking suck."

"So, who's the new boss lady?"

"What? I'm boss lady."

"If Carmy is the executive chef, and you're the CDC, you're the new Carmy. We need a new Angie."

"Sydney’s CDC, Tina.”

“But this is your place.”

“It’s ours now. Besides, I got a lot on my plate right now. Sophia, getting this place together, being with my dad-”

“Your dad? I thought he was dead.”

“Why would you think that?”

“You never talked about him. I just assumed.”

“Yeah, well, he was dead to me for a long time. But we’re good now.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

“Just don’t tell anyone, alright? I don’t want these guys making it a big deal.”

“You got it, mama.”

Angie smiled softly and patted Tina's arm. "Thank you, T. I'm gonna go check on my baby. Corner!" She walked into the office and was greeted with Carmy, Natalie, and Sophia. "What, is it a party in here?" She asked while leaning in the doorway.

"Are you sure I can't go to Grandma's?"

"I thought we were having fun?" Nat said to the girl.

"What are you working on?"

"Well, you're missing an IRS stipulation-"

"Nope." Angie stopped her. "I don't handle stuff I don't understand. That's a Carmy."

"Hey, guys." Sydney appeared next to Angie. "So, I've got news."

"Okay...."

"You're not gonna like it."

"Awesome." Carmy sighed

"So, gas is off until hoods and overheads pass the new fire suppression test."

"Is that a Fak?"

"No, Carm." Angie groaned. "It is not a Fak."

"Sounds like a Fak." He pointed as Fak popped his head in the doorway.

"It's a specialist. No offense, Neil."

"None taken, Angie."

"But, I've got some good news too. Everyone is food certified, except for Ebra. He just has to get renewed. And Richie who never actually did it because-"

"Because he's Richie."

"Yeah." Sydney sighed. "But everything is gonna be fine." She leaned her arm against the picture of Fenway Park taped onto the wall, immediately knocking a hole into it.

"Fuck!"

"Syd!"

"What was that?" Marcus asked.

"Uh, I fell through a wall. Good morning."

"Damn, you got strong."

"Are you okay?" Sophia asked her.

"Yeah. That was gross."

"Syd!" Richie came in. "Why'd you tear Fenway?"

"Why did I tear Fenway?"

"That's been up there for five years!" He stressed.

"What, you think I intentionally fell through a wall?"

"A, fuck the Red Sox." Natalie scoffed. "And B, what has that been hiding for five years?"

"Okay, A, that was Mikey's favorite team." Angie told her. "So chill. And B....I actually have no clue. I just thought he liked the picture."

"A, yeah, Sugar, show some respect." Richie stated. "And B, that's the result of some failed Jewish Lighting."

"Yo!"

"What?"

"I don't think you can say that, Uncle Richie."

"I'd like to add that to this list of banned words and phrases." Sydney suggested.

"What?" Natalie asked.

"In an effort of personal growth, I promised not to say gay or retarded."

"You just said it though."

"Richie, the hole. Explain."

"Jewish Lightning is when you burn down a place."

"The explanation made it ten times worse."

"Hey, kid, maybe you should go find something to play with." Richie told Sophia.

"I'm ten. I don't play with things anymore."

"Well, go find something to do."

"Mom?"

"Go."

The girl sighed before getting up and wandering around the restaurant.

"Cousin, explain." Carmy said.

"Look, there was a time when Mikey was maybe on some shit, and he thought that if this place were to accidentally....burn down....that maybe there'd be some insurance money."

"Wait, what?" Angie asked. "So that fire he started last year was on purpose?"

"I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. He didn't talk about it too much after he got sober."

She sighed and shook her head. "What were you doing, babe?" She whispered to herself.

"I think I can salvage this." Richie took the torn picture off of the wall. "Wanna help me, Syd?"

"Uh, no."

They both left the small room as Angie sat on the edge of the desk. "This is so fucked."

"Isn't it always?"

"We need more money."

"Where are we supposed to get that?"

Before anyone could respond, a blaring alarm rang out through the building.

"Is that in my head?" Carmy asked.

Angie and Nat shook their heads, covering their ears. "See? Fucked!"

"I might have an idea." The blonde man told them.

They looked between each other and sighed. "What?"

🤍

Angie, Carmy, Natalie, and Sydney sat at a table in the middle of the worn down restaurant. A loud blaring continued to ring in their ears as they look to Jimmy on the other side of the table.

"The fuck am I doing here?"

"This is coming from a place of wanting to start fresh and clean." Carmy told him. "I love this place. I love this city. I wanna start our first business here."

"An honest business, with honest partners."

"We drafted a quick term sheet that specifically lays out not only our business prospectus, but an execution guide, as well as a return portfolio." Nat explained.

"Richard, will you turn that fucking things off, please?" Jimmy grumbled. "What is this? What are ya doing?"

"Mikey was telling you the truth." Angie said.

"About the petting zoo?"

"Uh, no."

"Mini golf?"

"Franchising." She specified. "About franchising. He wanted to open a restaurant with Carmen."

"And how the fuck do you know that?"

"'Cause we found your money."

"That motherfucker didn't put it in a bank, did he?"

"Uh, no. He definitely did not put it in a bank."

"What's KBL?" Carmy asked.

"Kalinowski, me. Berzatto, you. Layne, Lee."

"Who's Lee?"

"Uncle Lee."

"Forks." Angie whispered to him.

Carmy scoffed. "That guy is not our uncle."

"Richie's not your cousin." Natalie shrugged.

"I heard that, and I resented it!"

"Richie, shut that fucking thing off!" Jimmy yelled to him as he walked over. "It's making me insane!"

"I'm on it, Uncle J. How the fuck was I supposed to know the crawl space had a goddamn alarm on it?" He sighed. "Ange, what's the security password?"

"Go fast boats mojito. All one word."

"So, let's refocus." Jimmy said. "Not only are you not paying me back the three hundred thousand dollars you owe me, but you're also asking me for an additional five hundred thousand?"

"Yes."

"That sounds right."

"And what part of this makes you think I'd be interested?"

"Okay, you are first out with a bonkers interest rate because, well, we have no choice." Nat sighed. "And you'd also be entitled to a partnership."

"Partnership of what, my love?"

"Uncle J, please." Angie begged. "I cannot lose this place. It's all I have. If it's gone...then so is Mikey."

"I feel for you, sweetheart, I really do. But you know how many great restaurants are in this city? What makes you special?"

"We're going to be better." Sydney stated. "This is gonna be a destination spot. This is gonna be an excellent restaurant. And I know that, because we're gonna get a star."

"We are?" Angie whispered.

"We are."

"Right. We are."

The repeated beeping finally came to a stop. Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief as they took in the silence for a few moments.

"Thank fuck." Jimmy sighed. "So, listen, my friends. Can I tell you a story about complete and utter failure?"

"Look, we don't pay you back by the end of eighteen months, and it's yours." Carmen told him.

"What's mine?"

"All of it. The building and the lot."

"Carmen." Angie turned to him.

"Tell me more."

"You can get five million for this lot."

"Two maybe."

"Your math is shit, dude."

"Look, we don't pay you the money by the end of eighteen months, worst case scenario, you helped out your nieces and nephew, and they blew it. You're out eight hundred grand, and you can make two million. And then we are done forever."

He sat there and thought about it for a minute before he nodded. "How long would it take you to open."

"Uh, I don't know. That's a great question."

"Great partners ask great questions."

🤍

"With Jimmy's injection it's gonna take at least..." Sugar did the calculations in her head. "Eight months to get into profit. Which, to put it generously, is tight, given it's gonna take six months to open."

"Six months?"

"At least."

"Dude." Carmy groaned. "We have eighteen months to pay back that loan. Is there anything we can do?"

"Dude, you're the one who said eighteen months." Angie responded. "That's a CP."

"What's a CP?"

"Carmy problem."

"Six months is gonna kill us." Sydney sighed.

"Yeah. We're gonna have to be rockin' from the jump." Carmy looked up at Angie. "You'll start looking into crew?"

"Yeah. Nat, do you work here?"

"Still thinking."

"I've got one person still thinking."

"Tremendous."

"Thank you."

"Good night, Jeffs."

"Good night."

"Night, T."

"Hey, I'll be right back." Sydney said as she followed Tina out the front door.

"I'm gonna go check on Soph." Angie headed to the office where Sophia was helping Richie tape the Fenway Park picture back on the wall.

"Hey, look." He grinned. "Told you I could fix it."

"I helped you."

"Yes, kiddo, you did."

"How about we go get some ice cream on the way home?" Angie sat next to Soph.

"Actually, I'm actually kinda tired."

"Oh. Okay."

"Can I spend the night at Grandma's house?"

"Umm...yeah. Sure. I'll call and ask her."

"Can I wait in the car?"

"Sure." Angie took the keys out of her pocket and handed them to the girl. "Lock the door."

"I will."

Once she was out of the room, Richie leaned against the desk. "What the fuck was that?"

"My daughter hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"She don't wanna be around me."

"She's becoming a preteen, Ange. They don't like anything or anyone."

"But she's my baby."

He rubbed her shoulder and sighed. "She's a good kid. She'll come around."

She nodded and looked up at him. "Yeah. I hope so."

"Alright, I'm gonna head out."

"Actually, would you mind taking her to DD's? I think I'm gonna hang back for a bit. Just work on some stuff."

"Yeah. See ya tomorrow." He bent down to kiss her cheek before he left the room.

One by one, everyone left the restaurant. Natalie, then Sydney, and then Carmy.

"Night, chef." The blonde said to his sister in law.

"Night, bear."

"You're not leaving?"

"Not yet. It feels kinda weird to be outta here at five o'clock."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes, you will."

Angie smiled at him as he walked out. She spent the next hour finding meaningless chores to do to keep herself busy. She sighed and leaned against the wall as she looked around the room.

"Eighteen months." She whispered to herself. "Fuck that."

The back door swung open and Natalie and Sydney walked in through the kitchen. "Six months is too long."

"You think I don't know that?"

"We need to open this shit ASAP." The younger girl said.

Carmy came in through the front door and sighed. "Six months is gonna kill us."

"We know."

"So what do we do?" Natalie asked.

"You think we can be open by the end of May?"

"Carmy, that's three months." Angie stated

"That's a terrible idea."

"You got a better one?"

They all looked at each other and shook their heads.

"No."

He nodded and sighed, running his hands over his tired face. "Okay then. Every second counts. Let's fucking go."

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Hi there, first off I'm really sorry for deleting the comment! While I wish I could keep it up the private messages were too much. Sadly I don't think I can report whoever it was. Reddit has this weird thing where if you pay for it, you can privately send some messages without any username or something to be shown. So yeah some random person got really upset at the idea of PJO being in Greece and decided to pay money towards Reddit to let me know.

As for the xenophobic things that were said about Greeks. I have to rely off the top of my head since I deleted them pretty quick. It was a bunch of "nobody cares about you Greeks, the country's a shithole that has to rely on tourists, you can't even claim to own the mythology because you were a bunch of colonizers who took other POC myths and made them your own" stuff.

Barely nothing about why they hated the idea of having the series in Greece. I think it was just some xenophobic ass who pretends to be progressive. But man I did not expect the subreddit to hate the idea of a Greece setting so much. By the time I deleted the comment it was at -20 downvotes.

-🌟Anon

I planned on replying sooner but chronic illness is a bitch. I am outraged that people feel comfortable being such assholes for fucking nothing, and they have completely false arguments on top of that.

I am sorry that it was such an unpleasant experience, and I hope you are feeling better now. Those malakes should go fuck themselves, plain and clear. They are such stupid and incompetent bullies that they'll fart your dick and balls (Greek expression for "they don't have the guts to do shit to you"). They are cowards and their "progressiveness" is no more than a shitty excuse to make everything about them and bully people in the name of "justice". They probably got their friends to downvote the comment and did a small smear campaign. Cause I find it hard to believe that a whole subreddit actually hates Greece.

I am all for recognizing when Greeks have done and do something bad/wrong but the statement "you can't even claim to own the mythology because you were a bunch of colonizers who took other POC myths and made them your own" is just factually wrong in so many levels. Even the smidge of truth in that statement is so twisted that I cannot give them right. So, they're spreading misinformation on top of everything.

You are in charge of your actions and feelings, so if you feel the comment is best deleted, then that's okay. My humble suggestion - in general - is to not give these fuckers an inch. I had my fair share of them here, for years. When they realize their cyberbullying doesn't work anymore because people don't get intimidated, they just whine to their equally fanatic friends. The only power they have is whining online, and when people back down, they get encouraged and do the same thing to more people.

Unless you feel your safety is threatened, or you feel too unwell to engage (all valid!), then ignore them and just leave your opinions online where people will inevitably see them. Do it once, do it twice, and you'll see that nothing more than unpleasant messages (which you will just delete and block) will happen. Your comment was civil and completely harmless. You are on the right here.

Even if I agreed with their opinion, their approach of behaving like violent crybabies is simply inexcusable. Tolerance has its limits. Their behavior should not be tolerated, because it leads to the opposite of tolerance. (It's a famous paradox) The only thing that stops them from joining a nazi party is their life circumstances.

P.S. A friend of mine wants to comment on the subreddit with your (or a similar) message. Would you send me the link of the post with the Hot Takes so they can do that? (She's feeling a lil' silly - and no, it's not me :p)