#i absolutely hate amazon
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Fucking hate being mentally ill.
One minute it's rage and destruction.
The next?
Sadness and guilt as you look at the mess.
Sometimes, you destroy people.
Sometimes things.
At least things are easy to clean up and fix.
So I try to explode away from people.
I isolate and avoid connections because I am inherently awful
And I hurt people
And I don't mean to
I don't know how to explain that it's just a bit beyond my control
But I try
I try to control my pain
And shove it into a box
And keep it locked away so others can be comfortable
It ends up being like a sneeze
It's not okay
I don't like it
#i absolutely hate amazon#i hate technology#i hate trying to work with technology#i just want my simple picture box#i hate my artistic talent#i get stuck with all these stupid requests#no#i wont set up your alexa#i wont paint your trash#i wont do things on the computer#you can learn to do it yourself#you can do anything#fucking try#i dont like being bothered#one of the reasons i don't have friends is because its too much work#they always text#and expect small talk#i really dont care about what youve been up to#i dont care about the spa#i dont want to waste money going to the movies to watch something YOU wanna watch#because my interests are niche and weird and I saw the face you made when i brought up FNAF#i really dont give a shit#thats why i have a cat#cats dont fucking bother you all the damn time#they dont piss all over the toilet and the bathtub#when they make a mess. they dont mean too. theyre actually trying to be clean#a cat puts in more effort than a person#fuck man#god damn it
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to the styx they return..i hate painting. maybe deep down i am sisyphus
#this has definitely been done before. did i still do it? absolutely#its just such a good scene idk#god i hate them so much#plopping zagreus in the house pool like a human shaped amazon package. special delivery !!#tw gore#tw blood#and now many many tags because i deserve it#art#my art#fanart#hades game#hades supergiant#hades fanart#thanatos#zagreus#thanzag#zagthan
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putting teeth on helmets i think should have them
#changeman#gekiranger#gingaman#go onger#watched amazon bite shit with his helmet and it fundamentally changed me as a person#and now i am of the firm belief that more helmets should be able to bite people#renn my baby boy i love you so much but oh my fucking god do i hate your helmet#its so 🙁#buT WHAT IF HE HAD TEEFIES#i actually love the changeman helmets a whole lot they are some of my absolute favourites of all time BUT THAT BEING SAID#'legendary beasts' my ass. griffon and dragon should have teeth idc if you dont give the other three anything#please just let my boys have teeth#gingaleon doesnt have big canines but if we close our eyes we can pretend he does <3#jan is self explanitory please let that boy bite things#2024 art tag
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time for my monthly mp3 player propaganda post!
yall. don't fucking stream music off of youtube or spotify. they pay their creators shit. the most generous estimate i could find was artists being paid $1 for every 200 streams (0.5¢ per stream), and unless you're listening to songs on an album thousands times in total, it helps tremendously more to just. buy their albums or subscribe to a patreon-like service for them
mp3 players are laughably inexpensive (you can get a decent one with bluetooth for like $40-50 and you can get away with even less if you forego some features), many of them are drag-and-drop, no ads, decent enough sound quality for the average person, unlimited skips, track selection, regular play and shuffle, playlists, being able to shut off your screen, and more importantly, ALL OF THIS IS AVAILABLE WITHOUT A SUBSCRIPTION. i've always been an avid hater of subscription models. there are some things where it's understandable, but you shouldn't lose access to basic QOL features just because you can't or won't fork over $10-15 a month.
"b-b-but $50 is so expensive!" WRONG. $50 (which is more than i've EVER spend on a single mp3 player) is the equivalent to 5 months on spotify premium without discounts. if you can afford that, it's worth investing into a device that can last you literal years if you get a good one and take good care of it
"but i don't wanna carry around another device!" fair enough, but these things are small enough to fit in tiny pockets (mine fits snugly in the watch pocket of my jeans) and are typically light enough to not be burdensome. if you can carry around your phone, you can carry around an mp3 player
"what if people think i'm weird for having outdated technology" let them. it's worth it in my opinion if it means i get to listen to music ad-free. the most I've ever gotten was "wooooah bro's got the dinosaur tech" and i just thought that was funny personally
"but what if the artist collapses without a constant stream of money!!! i'm not supporting the artist!!!!!" companies try to pay as little as they can get away with to artists. most of that money goes to the CEO and other higher-ups.
"but piracy is bad!" Piracy is a Crime. However, downloading youtube videos/audio for your own PERSONAL, NON-COMMERCIAL USE and NOT REDISTRIBUTING THEM is legal (generally, in the US, check your laws, i am not a lawyer, not legal advice, blah blah blah). besides, i never said you had to pirate your music. in fact, i encourage you to buy the albums of and support your favourite artists in other ways. some artists might even provide links for people to download their songs for free in high quality anyway
not gonna link products just in case someone thinks i'm a shill. but literally just look up "mp3 player" on your search engine or shopping site of choice and find something that doesn't look like it'll fall apart if you breathe on it too hard
seriously guys. if you listen to music more than like a few hours a week, and you don't get all of your music from livestreams or radios (although mine can connect to AM/FM radio), consider investing in an mp3 player. i tried out using one regularly in fall of 2021, and I haven't looked back. don't let companies drain subscription money from you
#music#mp3 player#spotify#youtube#youtube music#amazon music#itunes#apple music#music streaming#subscription services#btw this post isn't for audiophiles#i've said a lot of things here that would make an audiophile rip their hair out#i'm aware of that#this post is intended for the AVERAGE PERSON who isn't picky about getting the absolute best sound quality#but there are some high-end media players out there#sorry i just really hate spotify#and am also autistic#i have almost 600 songs on my mp3 player#<- crazy
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May I propose: David Tennant and Michael Sheen in Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead
Their patter would be amazing and also Michael Sheen would find some way to make it gay
#i just want them in a play together tbh#straight up hate crime they have to be cast with their friends to work together smdh#by virtue of being next to each other it would be Very Gay which has absolutely nothing to do with the show but would be hilarious#david’s already done hamlet c’mon man#rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead#tom stoppard#david tennant#michael sheen#still stand by the la cage a folles casting as well#good omens#bbc staged#staged#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#amazon won’t renew and i will be mortally sad#a radio play could be dank tho#gay#fuckin love that play btfo’s waiting for godot 10000%
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My #1 advice for people moving out is to NOT buy nonstick cookware... not only is the lifespan of nonstick a MAXIMUM of 7 years (usually more like 2-5 years) but teflon, aka Polytetrafluoroethylene-- the plastic coating that makes the cookware nonstick, infuses microplastics into your food.
New cookware sets can cost hundreds of dollars so my advice is to look for 100% stainless steel cookware in thrift stores. Safer, cheaper, & instead of needing to replace every 2-7 years they can potentially last you the entire rest of your life AND they won't start shedding plastic into your food
#x#PS plastic food storage containers are also not ideal... I'm going to replace all mine with glass containers when i can afford it#i bought everything nonstick thinking it would be easier to deal with. i wanted to be cost-effective & save time so buying cheap nonstick#seemed like a good idea but every single nonstick thing I bought either already needed to be tossed in the trash or the teflon is flaking#aka they have become unsafe to use. but i dont have the money to replace all my fucking kitchenware!!!!!#today the casserole dishes that i bought 2.5 years ago are going in the trash. fucking waste of money and awful for the planet#boiling water to get rid of microplastics in a flaking nonstick pot... my life is a joke LMFAOOO#i was going to put a brand suggestion for nonstick here based on what lasted the longest for anyone who absolutely NEEDS nonstick#but when i search for who owns that brand and then searched with israel in quotes... first result was them being voted brand of the year#in israel... so never mind... dude fuck all these big companies i fucking hate this shit#oh btw ceramic is a good nonstick alternative but all my ceramics lasted less than 3 years... their lifespan is about 2 years apparently#theres way too many tags on this already but for anyone who reads them all HIIII and also you can literally find better furniture#on the side of the road than you will ever find on amazon or from ikea or where the fuck ever
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The Last Whose Realm was Fair and Free
Gil-galad was an Elven king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing;
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.
His sword was long, his lance was keen.
His shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven’s field
were mirrored in his silver shield.
But long ago he rode away,
And where he dwelleth none can say;
For into darkness fell his star
In Mordor where the shadows are.
--The Fall of Gil-galad
#my guys my pals my friends let me tell you this was a STRUGGLE#I absolutely hated how this looked halfway through and ended up redoing most of it#but i did it#while i was researching House Finarfin (for the crest) i found out that Galadriel is his great aunt or something like that(?)#which I think is VERY AMUSING because in amazon's rings of power Gil-galad's basically like#'Galadriel you're being paranoid. please for the love of god go back to Valinor. i can't deal with you right now'#imagine telling your great aunt she's crazy and you don't have time for her so you try to ship her back home#i think this is like.... the elven equivalent of 'stop it mom you're embarrassing me :(('#anways... Gil-galad be upon you#lotr#lord of the rings#gil galad#digital painting#my art
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absolutely, genuinely heartbroken to learn that book depository is shutting down. and just as got back into enjoying reading :(
#as if i needed one more reason to absolutely fucking hate and despise amazon kill kill murder kill murder kill#i guess i'll take the last chance to buy the final 3 jojonium books to complete the collection 😔#jamble ramble#i hope bezos drops dead btw
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every single goddamn tech company application: thanks for finishing our assessment that you don't know what the fuck was accomplishing or if you actually got a good score, can you please assess the assessment for us
#jamie has made a statement#yes it was amazon bc i'm at a low. yes it was awful#i've interviewed for them before and it was horrendous years ago#however the STAR method does work for like. interview shit#i fucking hate amazon but they do have efficiency down to a. an absolutely insane fucking science#that makes my skin crawl so much
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Just a bunch of Useful websites - Updated for 2023
Removed/checked all links to make sure everything is working (03/03/23). Hope they help!
Sejda - Free online PDF editor.
Supercook - Have ingredients but no idea what to make? Put them in here and it'll give you recipe ideas.
Still Tasty - Trying the above but unsure about whether that sauce in the fridge is still edible? Check here first.
Archive.ph - Paywall bypass. Like 12ft below but appears to work far better and across more sites in my testing. I'd recommend trying this one first as I had more success with it.
12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.
Where Is This - Want to know where a picture was taken, this site can help.
TOS/DR - Terms of service, didn't read. Gives you a summary of terms of service plus gives each site a privacy rating.
OneLook - Reverse dictionary for when you know the description of the word but can't for the life of you remember the actual word.
My Abandonware - Brilliant site for free, legal games. Has games from 1978 up to present day across pc and console. You'll be surprised by some of the games on there, some absolute gems.
Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.
Ninite – New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.
PatchMyPC - Alternative to ninite with over 300 app options to keep upto date. Free for home users.
Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.
Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.
LibGen – Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.
Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.
Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.
CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.
Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.
I Have No TV - A collection of documentaries for you to while away the time. Completely free.
Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.
Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.
Tineye – An Amazing reverse image search tool.
My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV, My70sTV, My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.
Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.
Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.
Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.
Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.
Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.
Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.
Coolors – Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.
This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.
Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.
BitWarden – Free open source password manager.
Just Beam It - Peer to peer file transfer. Drop the file in on one end, click create link and send to whoever. Leave your pc on that page while they download. Because of how it works there are no file limits. It's genuinely amazing. Best file transfer system I have ever used.
Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.
ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.
Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.
Rome2Rio – Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.
Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.
myNoise – Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.
DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.
Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.
For even more useful sites, there is an expanded list that can be found here.
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to further drive home a point made in another post that i reblogged earlier: mocking gay men & people who use the blue and green gay man flag by calling it the "toothpaste" flag and acting like this is a tumblr exclusive thing makes you look ridiculous. this is not a case of a flag for an obscure gender identity that only exists on this website:
this absolutely floods the search results on google because guess what: this is the flag for gay men. this is not something you can just ignore and act like it's not a legitimate thing. i'm not saying that this is a good thing, but for fuck's sake, there are gay man flags being sold on amazon. there is literally a wikipedia entry for the flag. this is a legitimate flag that you need to accept that people are allowed to proudly fly.
i don't care if you think it's ugly. it's not about the appearance and you know it isn't. this is about punching down on queer men and we've had enough of it. it's sad and it makes anyone denying gay men the right to use this flag look like an absolute fucking idiot. like seriously, if you mock gays who use this flag, you look like an absolute fucking dumbass. wake the fuck up, look at the world around you. gay men all across the globe have adopted this flag.
listen to us instead of speaking for us for once, for fuck's sake. i get it that it's become trendy in recent years to hate all queer men, and especially to be homophobic toward gay men- i'm looking at every single person who even ironically identifies as 'twinkphobic'. we're not stupid, that shit isn't remotely funny. if a gay man called themselves femmephobic or butchphobic you'd lose your absolute goddamn fucking mind. this shit isn't subtle anymore. this is overt homophobia. you better get the fuck out of our way, because we're not going anywhere. stand with us, let us choose the symbols that represent us, or get the fuck out. i'm proudly flying the gay flag until i die.
#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#gay#mlm#gay men#trans men#trans man#transmasculine#transmasc#gay ftm#gay trans man#bisexual gay#bi gay#achillean#nblm#our writing
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Finally finished good omens season 2. I hate it.
I mean ok, it's more nuanced than that but like I do dislike this season. Personally I feel it took every character arc & theme from season 1 and went "what if we pretended this wasn't real except for Crowley, he's gonna stay exactly the same, but everyone else is set back to their OG ways". Like everyone feels off, also Aziraphale is an asshole this season, straight up. Man's went I will terrorize the poor bc I don't understand poverty and HE WOULDNT FUCKING DO THAT. Anyways. Aziraphale was character assassination, he's dead, & crowley's going insane from being trapped in that shit narrative. And I'm not looking forward to season 3. i don't understand why anyone would make a full season of filler. You don't even need to watch the damn thing. You could watch the last episode of the season and have the same experience as if you'd watched the whole thing. I will say, it does make me sad that this season sucked for me. I wish I could be watching whatever the rest of the fandom is watching. There were some very cute and wonderful moments of the season too, which makes me even sadder b/c i just imagine what it would be like to see those scenes absolutely fuck if they were in a season that wasn't an absolute waste of time. No hate to those who enjoyed it so pls don't send hate back on the off chance anyone but me reads this in the future.
#considering whether or not ill make a follow up youtube video to my og go vid#if i do might turn comments off bc im a coward trying to voice this opinions#i dont care if ppl liked this season i just know in my heart that they turned aziraphale into a dick and i hate that#also he wouldn't go back to heaven or ask crowley to be an angel again#like whoever forced this season did you even watch the show#absolutely no hate to the cast and crew and all of them either tho like hey i get it#i do fully blame amazon fuck you
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I’m on the second episode of My Adventures With Superman and I KNOW I know, this deserves to be Clark’s show, BUT HEAR ME OUT A SECOND.
Imagine the Waynes didn’t die and Thomas is trying DESPERATELY to buy the Daily Planet from White, but to absolutely no avail.
“For the last time, Wayne, you can have this company when the Gotham Knights win a Stanley Cup.”
“Y’all cheated last year and you KNOW it, White! Come on! We knew each other for 20 years—“
“Not true.”
“You gotta have ONE nice thing to say about me! You saw my charity records? My trip to the Amazon? I found a goddam dinosaur, for Pete’s sake!”
“And you sent it to the Gotham museum.”
“…Well yeah, it looked real pretty.”
“Look, Wayne. I can either give your ego the stroke of the century, or keep Lane and those two idiot interns in check, but I can’t do both. Now get out of here, or—“
Clark clearing his throat, holding two cups of coffee in his comically large hands, “Uh, the coffee machine broke, so I had to run to the store. Is this a bad time?”
Thomas whistling, because what the FUCK. “Christ, boy, how tall are you? How tall is he, White? You a security guard? You WANNA be a security guard?”
“Uh, Clark Kent. Idiot intern,” Clark introduced himself politely despite Perry’s grumbling.
Needless to say, Thomas Wayne is…Intimidating.
“I’ve heard about your research on metahuman physics, Mr. Wayne. It’s brilliant.”
“Oh, that? That was all my boy, really. He’s got all these ideas about reinventing the healthcare system for everybody or something like that. Hell, he wants to invent some bandaids for that Superman fella. “
“That,” Clark blinked, “Actually sounds amazing.”
“Right?. The other day he came to me like, ‘Can I have 30,000 for a research expedition?’ You should’ve seen him in his little lab coat, — cutest thing. Hold on, I have pictures.”
Clark expected a particularly eccentric 10 year not, not a — gorgeous— adult man in what looked to be a great amount of eyeliner and one hell of a scowl. “He’s…” gorgeous, “He seems interesting.”
“Ain’t he? You should meet him sometime. Hates talking to the press, but, I’m sure we can arrange something. “
“Good luck with that. I tried interviewing the kid alone for 10 minutes and Mr. Wayne here kept getting in the way. Probably because he has something to hide.”
“Bruce ain’t really made for the camera, so I had to step in, ya know how it is. He ain’t really the independent kind.” Thomas shrugs. “I know, I know, — you gotta leave em to fly sometimes, and while I bet he’d look cute tryin’,”
Thomas chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amusing. At all. “No bird leaves MY nest.”
—
Clark finds out why Perry can’t prove Thomas Wayne is Batman. It’s because he’s wrong. He’s listened to Batman’s heartbeat before. And Thomas doesn’t stutter.
Bruce Wayne does, thought.
#them ^^#maws#clark kent#my adventures with superman#dc#dc comics#battinson#superbat#thomas wayne#text post#text
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Do people judge a book by its cover? They absolutely do. They take one look at this, and they either often instantly hate it or love it.
Talking about how things should be is just yelling into the void. There is just reality. And this is the reality of being a self-published indie author.
People make complete conclusions based off of incomplete information. In this case, my book, there are no adults pressuring the boy into getting any surgery. There's no mention of surgery at all even. This person is thinking of a children's book written by a very popular political figure. Some people have had the courtesy to ask me if it's like that book. It's not at all. It's not even political. It's a story told from the perspective of a kid who grows up knowing they are very different and yet can tell no one about it. Even saying a word about it would bring all of his deepest and darkest fears into reality.
The challenge was to make the story as dark and scary as I could without ever going too far for a children's book. There are already some scary children's books and movies out there that prove what's possible, and I worked with my illustrator, Marta, to push it as far as we could go. There's one page we had to re-do almost completely because even I said that's a bit much.
But I'm very happy with the final result because we also got to do so many fun and colorful pages like this.
There will be plenty more drive-by reviews as the book continues to grow and grow. They take one look and see a soapbox to express all of their disappointments and frustrations in life.
I think they might be scared of the book. The world they grew up in is slowly fading away day by day, and it's all they have come to know. They've been around for so long that everything has become a bore to them, and the only remaining pleasure is to escape into the past in order to better preserve it. I can oddly relate, actually.
So the book is on Amazon, and you can watch the whole thing for free on YouTube as well. If you get the chance, let me know what you think. Literally, watching it for free and then giving it a simple rating on Amazon is the best way to support the book. But I also love waking up to reviews like this every day.
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THEY MADE THE TEEN WOLF MOVIE???? ITS OUT AND WATCHABLE???
#the 14 year old wattpad writer in me is loving and hating what i hear they've done#they kill Him off????? seriously????#but also they give Him a son???? with same name as me????#i cradle the family with loving arms i will Absolutely find a way to watch this#blegh its on paramount plus and amazon. yall know what that means#im gonna have to pira- *gunshot bc geoff bozo scares me*
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nsfw alphabet for art donaldson.. not requested but i wanted to do it so.. enjoy it!!! <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): i think that art definitely feels the pressure of society to be the dominate person in a relationship, so he does all the classic stuff, cleaning you up, brushing your hair cuddling with you.. but as he gets more comfortable in your relationship i think that he is open about the fact that he wants to be taken care of too.. he wants aftercare to be mutual, and he wants you to clean him up and tuck him into bed just like he does for you <3
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): art definitely isn't one to toot his own horn.. but if he was being honest i think he'd say his abs! he's worked so hard for them, training everyday + he likes when you rake your fingernails down them <3 for his partner.. i think he would say their hands! i think that art just generally runs cold, so having his partner warm him up with their hands would be like... a dream. also he just loves getting shoulder massages and getting his hair played with! (and all the other good things you can do with your hands) <3
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): the one thing challengers fandom can agree on... art cums a lot and is loud. he always wants to jerk off but the cleaning after is a total buzz kill! whether he's humping his pillow or fucking his hand, the amount of cum he has to clean up is frankly.. embarrassing. he's also extremely loud.. he's just very sensitive and can't help but whine and moan and pretty much cry when he cums <3
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): when he was younger, arts dirty secret was definitely jerking off, growing up in a strict household made it seem like masturbation was taboo.. but now that he's older, he definitely keeps his kinks close to his chest, so id say his secret is that he enjoys being dominated, yet again he feels pressure to be the dominant one in a relationship but there's nothing he enjoys more than being dominated and taken care of by his partner <3
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): i think that by the time he's in college, art has had his fair share of girlfriends but has rarely had sex with them, he just feels like sex is the ultimate connection with someone.. and it makes him nervous to do it with someone he even has a bit of doubt about. art is actually naturally gifted at sex for some reason, the first time you're together, you get ready to give him a little tutorial on eating you out, but he immediately gets to work, doing exactly what he should do <3
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): any position in which he can see your face is arts favorite, he's a classic guy and he loves missionary, and he loves when you ride him too (you may be able to convince him to let you do a freaky little amazon position too) <3
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): art is totally serious, he just gets very nervous that he's gonna mess something up or embarrass himself or hurt you, that he couldn't make a joke even if he tried! <3
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): college art definitely shaves everytime he showers, he just hates the feeling of body hair on him, and he loves the way his body looks soft and shiny when he is shaved. older dilf! art definitely gets waxed, he makes regular appointments because it's easier than shaving for him, and it still makes him feel pretty <3
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): art is romantic to a fault, he absolutely puts you first in every aspect of your relationship, especially when being intimate so he tries to set the mood as best he can, being sweet and romantic (more than usual) almost like the first time you had sex, every time <3
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): art jerks off a lot. he just has a high sex drive, and it relaxes him, there's nothing more he wants to do after a long day than hump his pillow and fall asleep <3
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): i think that art only explores his kinks when he feels really comfortable in a relationship and they kind of come out one by one.. first he says he like to be dominated.. then he amps it up to say maybe he wants you to rim him.. then it's pegging and before you know it he's calling you "mommy" <3
L = Location (favorite places to do the do): in bed. seriously the only place he'll do it. once, he got a little too tipsy and you guys did it on the couch but never again. he sees sex as a private thing, and that's what a bedroom is for! <3
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): literally just looking at you.. i mean you could just be sitting doing your homework at your desk and he'd only be thinking about you sitting on his cock <3
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): many things i can think of.. but mainly he isn't into anything "gross" aka bodily fluids, or pain, the occasional love bite or hicky is okay with him, but i think he just can't really wrap his head around why you would want to hurt him during sex in the first place, after all he'd never hurt you <3
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): art could 100% go both ways, eating you out pretty much gets him off too (you can't count the number of times he's came in his pants just eating you out), but the feeling of your hot mouth on him is as close to heaven as he thinks he'll ever get <3
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): at the start, art goes slow and deep, really angling his hips to find that soft and squishy part in you that makes you scream. once he gets closer to his orgasm.. it's like he's in his own world, he doesn't even really pull out to thrust anymore, mostly just humping into you faster and faster until he does one last push of his hips to get his balls as snug as they can be against you when he cums <3
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): art doesn't like quickies, he prefers to do all the romantic parts of sex, like kissing, making out, foreplay etc. you can't really do that in a quickie, it leaves him feeling unsatisfied <3
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): in any part of his life, art likes for others to take the lead and make decisions, so you'd have to be the one to bring something up, and you'd really have to encourage him to be honest, because it's in his nature to say yes to everything in order to please you, even if he maybe doesn't want to do something <3
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): art is completely drained after one round, he just gets so overstimulated and sensitive after that it would just be painful to go again, he'll totally eat you out after sex though, if you're still not satisfied <3
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): i firmly believe that patrick got art a fleshlight for his birthday one year and.. art didn't leave his room for a week. but once he has you, he doesn't really see the need for toys for himself, and it would take a little bit for him to see your toys as partners instead of competitors <3
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): art is not a teaser at all, i mean he will get on his knees for you at any time, especially during sex, so he's never be able to tease you about something since he's just as eager as you are <3
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): like i said before, art is loud. he moans, whines, pants, every noise under the sun. "mmmf.. more.. more" "fuck 'm gonna melt you're so warm" "'s feels so good" "k-keep squeezing me like that.." "fuck 'm close.. please- please keep going" "i wanna cum.. i needa cum for you.." <3
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): as a birthday present, patrick got art a pack on flavoured condoms but art had no one to use them with so art just fast tested them by himself 😭 <3
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): i think that art is average thickness, maybe a little on the long side, like 6.5 inches, nothing too uncomfortable. a cute pink tip that drools pre and gets almost purple when he's about to cum.. and pretty round balls that slap deliciously against you and feel great to suck on <3
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): art is horny 99.999% percent of the time, he just can't help himself. but for art, horny doesn't necessarily mean he wants to have sex with you, it just means that he wants to be close to you, i mean he gets a boner every time you're around, so it's just his way of saying i love you <3
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): art gets extremely tired after sex, if he could just stay inside you after sex and go right to sleep he absolutely would. but he's responsible.. so he cleans up, forces you to go pee and then presses his face into your chest and is out like a light in approximately 5 minutes <3
#this is just me rambling sorry#parkerluvsu#parker.talks#art donaldson#challengers x reader#challengers 2024#challengers#art donaldson x reader#challengers smut#art donaldson smut
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