#i absolutely get why people are upset tho. i don’t disagree with their points.

[wishbonemotel]

I… actually don’t completely hate the dragon age trailer….

[demonqueenart]

- dan and phil have no reason to come to latam at all, they are ENGLISH content creators who make videos in the ENGLISH language and whose majority audience speaks ENGLISH. it's kind of baffling to me that you feel entitled to them going completely outside their audience when no other content creator does that, youtubers need to make money off their tours, they need to go to the places where their fanbase mostly is, other people and even artists do exactly this because why would they come here? there's an entire language barrier in between. all the other countries they're going to that speak a different language are either physically closer or they have more english speakers as a second language and they aren't giving that many dates in them. and of course they have a lot of dates for the US? that's where most of their audience is? they need to know where their audience is, that's their job, so they definitely know more than us about it

- saying they can just "dip into" mexico for a few shows is ridiculous, if they were to give a show here the most likely place for their audience to be is mexico city and, again, even that would be risky

- i can't speak for other latam countries but i have never in my life met someone who's offended at getting called a third-world country. that's just? the correct way to say it? like i'd rather he say that than call us poor or smth obviously. i will say that i agree it's a *stupid* term because it doesn't apply to the modern world anymore, the US has many problems that third world countries also have and third world countries have a lot of progressive aspects that first world countries don't. however, acting like latam is only big cities and progressive people is ignorant and avoids talking about the real problems we face. the term comes from a war that has been used to stereotype us but it is also the way it's taught in schools, society and the internet. dan saying this seems to me like it was just the way he knows how to say it (which is the way most people know) and he didn't strike me as having malicious intent which is always what is most important

- dnp have never promoted this as a world tour. they don't owe us explanations or apologies as to why they're not going to certain countries. it's okay to be upset that they aren't coming to yours, i was too, but they really have no reason to go because it's *their* tour not ours.

- the one thing i agree with here is the racist stuff they've said and done in the past, especially dan. the things he did were disgusting and not okay. but i am absolutely giving him the benefit of the doubt because, in my opinion, actions are better than words. he was a teenager (!!!) and he hasn't repeated his behavior since, i'm also pretty sure he Has apologized but even if he hadn't i'd much rather he actually fix himself, which is what he's done imo, instead of saying sorry and continuing to do the same thing

- racism is a constant problem in most fandoms and it should be addressed directly as to put a stop to it. it makes sense to me that you think the way you do as you said you've never experienced such a thing in your life but please please please take a step back and realize that dan and phil don't know every single internal problem happening with their fans and giving up on them completely the way you seem to have is insanely and undeservedly pessimistic when they most likely don't even know what's going on.

Sincerely, a mexican dan and phil fan.

That’s a very valid point! I won’t disagree, what you said could be the reasons underlying all of this events that’s been happening. And mind you, I don’t even care if they’re not going on the tour in my area. It’s never been about that. The problem is tho, why does this explanation come from a fan instead of dnp. Don’t get me wrong, these are very valid points! If dnp were to say that to me and others, I would have been okay! There has been many instances where dnp knows their actions have hurt others, but they stay silent and try to cover it up. These reasonings are not bad! And it won’t make them look bad if they say anything about it. But it’s weird why they wouldn’t say anything when so many of us have been hurt by them staying silent.

I’ll give you an example to clarify this. Mirian from twt, one of the community team that did subtitles for dnp videos, she has expressed she was very hurt by the term 3rd world country. And although you and others are not offended by it, you should not tell others how to feel about the term because we have different experiences. This term are derogatory to a lot of people, and diminishing other people’s experiences is not right. Mirian and many others have addressed this issue multiple times: during wad, when dnp did a fake apology. And dnp could just dip in and say, “we’re sorry that the term offended you. It was taught in school and we didn’t mean anything by it.” Does that look bad to you? It’s not to me! But they never did! They turned a blind eye on it, and so are other people in this community.

Do you know what that feels like? When white people just keep ignoring you as if we’re crazy for feeling offended when they have offended us? There has been far too many shooshing in this community, and in the name of them keep doing this to us! We want them to address things because we want to know that they are there for us, that they are trying and didn’t mean by any mistakes they’ve done. Instead, they keep trying to bury us up, pretending we’re not there! How do you think I would feel about it? Should I be glad that they see me being hurt as this ugly thing that should be buried down because that’d make them look bad? I’m telling you right now, if they do not acknowledge those people they’ve hurt, you cannot say this space is inclusive to everyone.

I was hoping to bring light to these issues, not pretending it’s not there, not enabling them or this community. What do you think it says about this community that we cannot bring light to issues that can hurt people so severely. If people were to be called out about someone saying transphobic slurs, you would not have diminished their feelings. You would speak up in hopes that it won’t be repeated again. This whole thing could be solved by just a good communication, but them not choosing to do that means they’re not choosing us to be here. And to that, idk. Maybe I should find a space that actually treats me like a person, not a thing that keeps making excuses for others

Auto-message: This ask’s purpose is to acknowledge dnp’s past/present exclusivity, not to cancel them! But to embrace mistakes that they’ve made so that 1. we won’t exclude people in need in this community, and 2. we can normalize bringing up exclusivity so that improvement can happen. Hopefully this will one day help dnp realize that this is a safe space for them to talk about their mistakes, so that this space can become safe for people of all kinds too <3

*If you don’t understand what is happening, scroll through my blog for context. And I’ll be taking time to answer my asks, so don’t think I’m ignoring youuu*

[faeiapalette]

I rarely ever send asks to blogs but I noticed the absolutely shitstorm taking place in your inbox from my OC blog and I'm so confused??? Like why did it escalate to such a heated discussion?? I actually fully agree with you that Ayato's LE route is anything but bad. It was one of my favorites amongst the S boy routes and while I did feel bad for him, I don't think the 'they don't deserve it' argument is valid for any of the DL boys. They've all done horrible things to Yui/the MC so they can't complain about karma biting them in the ass at one point or another. Also this whole 'which boy is the main one/Yui's canon S/O' is so silly imo. (and mind you, I'm a big AyaYui shipper myself) After translating over half of all the games' content, I can confidently say that Rejet is not that serious about the plot of DL and will defy or contradict their previously established lore literally ALL THE TIME. So why can't we - as a fandom - also be a little more chill and laidback about it and enjoy our own interpretations of the story instead of trying to prove other people's opinions wrong? ^^;; In the end, it's just fiction and there's no real right or wrong. Also big disagree on you not being able to voice your dislike for Ayato because he's generally loved by the fandom. :/ So it's okay to bash Cordelia or Karl because most fans agree that they're shitty people, but you can't speak ill of one of the main boys? Oh boy I better go hide now because I've lost count of how many times I've called Kanato a nasty purple gremlin.

I'm a Subaru stan but if I see someone insult Subaru, I don't get upset. I realize he has his flaws too and he won't be everyone's cup of tea. That's totally fine like go and call him a sad piece of emo trash for all I care. He might be my oshi, but in the end he's also just a bunch of pixels on a screen lol.

(😳 wait can i say “senpai noticed me”? Although i’m not too fond of this kind of “notice” and i don’t think it’s something i should be proud of it either, but still 🥹🤣💀🙈💗

Also… i deeply apologize for this massive tornado of… whatever it is 😭)

And 😭💦 I have no problem with Ayato tho? It started when i start wondering why the reasons i heard didn’t came from the inside of Ayato’s route (instead, as you can see, people compare his route to the other S boys’ routes, aka the external. Oh and actually an anon told me that problems lie in bad writing and horrible ending, that’s the first one for me. 🙌) So i just started analyzing things using internal infos in his route and speak it up in the form of an opinion. 🤔 Then people misunderstand what i said and see it as “i’m attacking Ayato”, and all of this happened. So… Thank you, but i’ll pass that 1st sentence in the 2nd paragraph to any other person who couldn’t say “i hate this character” in this fandom. 🥺💗 Sigh…. I do wish people can be chill and understanding like you and some people i know as well. Realizing all of this things isn’t that hard. 😔

[whoree321]

can I request some headcannons of the bad batch reacting to reader getting called fat and comforting her?

(today while I was at school someone called me fat)

omg well ok first of all bestie i’m so sorry that happened to you!! i def experienced my fair share of that sort of thing back in my day, but just remember that above all else your body is merely a vessel to contain the infinite galaxies that form the irreplicable, unique multitudes of humanity that live within you. you are so much more than the physical form you inhabit and simply the presence of your soul on this planet makes it a brighter place<3

but anyways! i hope y’all enjoy this! i would love nothing more than for this gaggle of big strong men to defend my honor

the bad batch + comforting gn!reader (body image)

WARNING: this is entirely about comments being made about the reader’s body. there are potentially triggering themes. please read with caution<3

Hunter

when hunter hears what happened, he experiences probably every single negative emotion a person could feel at once

angry at the person who insulted you, worried about you, sad that you’re sad, stressed about the best way to handle it and help you

internally, hunter is probably more distressed than you are

this man NEVER EVER shows it tho. the inside of his brain is literally like that scene in spongebob where his brain is the office and it’s on fire and all the little spongebobs are running around screaming. but on the outside?

“oh cyar’ika, come here. i’m so, so sorry my love”

he is tenderly holding you to his bosom, praising you and reassuring you and providing that feeling of safety and warmth that’s just so uniquely hunter until you almost forget why you were even upset

he is also such a good listener. he doesn’t exactly know what to say beyond complimenting/praising you (that’s easy- all he has to do is say what he’s already thinking), but he is so attentive and really takes in everything you’re saying as you’re ranting or letting your emotions out

just knowing how invested he is in trying to understand your problems and make you feel better makes you feel so loved and so special

Crosshair

crosshair is not the fucking one

crosshair hears that someone has called you fat, and he is literally breaking their knee caps like they owe him a gambling debt within 24 hours of the comment being made

like i’m serious. of all the batchers, he is the one to go out of his way and inflict serious violence upon the individual in question (wrecker might join him)

although he’s seething with rage on the inside, he does try to be there for you in the moment while you’re upset

he’s not very good with words, and he’s definitely the type to let his actions do the talking

he will spend literally hours just worshipping your body, kissing every inch and whispering little comments like “gorgeous” and “so beautiful” and “all mine” and he won’t stop until he’s confident you know just how enamoured he is with you. mind, body, and soul

he’ll get in the shower with you and wash your hair, letting the warm water and his fingers on your scalp soothe you as he presses feather light kisses to your back and neck and shoulder blades

he will wait to seek out his victim until you’re nestled into his bunk, snuggled under his covers and fast asleep. he’ll lay a quick kiss on the tip of your nose, admiring the peaceful look on your face for a moment before disappearing into the night to deal with the perpetrator

seriously tho crosshair is sending whoever said it to the med bay for EXTENDED time. he won’t kill them, but he will definitely disfigure them

Tech

tech would honestly be so confused. like he would be so upset that someone would say that to you, and even more upset that you were upset, but i think the entire situation would be a little bit baffling to him

like i think that he is probably one of the least likely batchers to notice or care what people look like physically, and so he just would not understand why someone would be so cruel

like what would someone have to gain from commenting negatively on your body? as far as he knew, there was nothing wrong with how you looked (quite the opposite, actually), and he would just find the whole idea of someone doing that to you so absurd

despite his confusion, i think in any situation where you’re upset tech would def sort of let you indicate what kind of comfort you wanted, and would go all in from there (he read that your partner often needs different kinds of emotional support at different times and he has worked very hard to recognize when you need each type of comfort)

like if you need verbal or physical reassurance, he’s worshipping you and letting you know exactly why he finds every piece of you so dazzlingly beautiful

if you need to cry and rant, he’s holding you close and stroking your hair and giving you a safe place to just let out your feelings

if you need to be angry about it, tech will sit with you and absolutely roast the shit out of whoever said it. like he’ll pull up files about them and just verbally demolish they’re entire existence until you’re wheezing with laughter

tech would just be so sweet and would hate seeing you upset and would try his best to fix it. he loves your body, but to him you are so much more than that and it kills him that someone could make you feel so badly over what he views as such a small aspect of all amazing things that make you who you are

Wrecker

when wrecker hears about what happened, he is equal parts heartbroken for you and LIVID

he doesn’t tolerate when people have things to say about the way he or his brothers look, and he CERTAINLY won’t tolerate someone commenting on the way you look

he’s already gearing up to go bash some heads in when it registers with him how upset you are

expect the hug of the CENTURY from this man

like seriously you’re worried he’s gonna crack one of your ribs with how hard he’s squeezing

he becomes the self care king

wrecker will spend an excessive amount of time pampering you and doing his best to make you feel loved (like literally days if he has enough time)

he’s running you warm baths, he’s doing face masks with you, he’s setting up a movie night with a pillow fort and yummy treats, he’s using your entire body as a pillow and wrapping his arms around you, planting sweet kisses all over your torso as the movie plays. anything he can think of to care of you and take your mind off of the horrible way you were spoken to

wrecker isn’t gonna have as much verbally as hunter or tech or echo, pretty much confined to statements like “oh don’t listen to them, Y/N, you’re absolutely perfect”, but the way he dotes on you and the tenderness he shows to you and your body lets you know that he really, really means it

(also, he won’t seek them out, but if he ever happens to run into person who said it, he does not hesitate to beat the living shit out of them. disrespectfully)

Echo

when echo hears about what was said to you, he’s really just unbelievably sad

while people don’t usually make comments about him to his face, he knows how terrible it feels to be uncomfortable with your own body and he would do anything to keep you from feeling that

echo responds initially like hunter, holding you close and letting you cry or yell for a while, but he refuses to let you feel anything other than beautiful

he takes you to your closet and tells you to pick out one outfit that makes you feel good about yourself (if you have trouble feeling good about any of them, don’t worry. he won’t hesitate to pick out one he knows you look great in)

once you’ve decided on it, he tells you to put it on. if you’re uncomfy with him watching you change, he happily looks away until you’re ready for him to turn around. if you’re cool with him watching, he makes it a point not to hide his admiration of your form, offering sweet compliments and sultry glances

once you’ve changed, he stands you in front of the mirror so you can see yourself, and describes to you all your wonderful features. he lets you disagree with him and point out your flaws, and he counters each of them without missing a beat

echo just wants you to see yourself the way he sees you, and he stands there with you, offering so much patience and love, until he’s filled your heart with so much warmth you can feel your tears returning (this time in a good way)

you do so much to help him when he feels insecure about his appearance since the citadel, so above all else, echo needs you to know just how perfect you are, regardless of what some prick might say

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans. she's an interesting character—or rather, the case surrounding her character is quite interesting.

i honestly don't know if i can say i dislike her. by all means, she should be a fan favourite, and she is... but for some rather intriguing reasons.

for one thing, due to the fact she's hardly expanded on in the series, certain parts of the fandom have been forced to either take the few qualities that she displays canonically and amplify them to the extreme (eg. immediate righteous anger at the slightest hint of injustice in fic) or create an entirely new personality (eg. no, i didn't actually disapprove of your pranks, it was just sexual tension). of course, the option of creating a new personality is much more tempting when you can just add amplified canon traits on the side.

for another, her relationship with james sometimes seems likes it's being weaponized against snape and his fans. i've seen arguments that go like "haha, snape just wanted to fuck lily, but james got her in the end anyway, sucks to be you", and not only does it entirely reduce her to an object, it feels like they don't even care about the relationship, the dynamics or the characters. she's basically a plot device.

and thirdly, half of her characterisation in fic is to be a peter stand-in. we don't like the rat man, so let's take the pretty girl and put her in place of the guy who was canonically a member of the marauders, even up until he was named secret keeper. suddenly, she's a prankster and an enabler.

but, snek, you may say, all of that is fanon lily, tho. you just explained that people seem to like her because they just put any personality they want into her as long as she's at least vaguely a good person. you would be right.

let's look at canon lily. she's described as the brightest witch of her age, most everyone speaks favourably of her. in fact, the only people we see actively disliking/being upset with her are petunia, out of jealousy and the invasion of privacy concerning her letter, severus, who lashed out and used a slur that also applied to him in a moment of serious distress and apologised after, and well, pureblood supremacists by virtue of her being muggleborn. interestingly enough, even this dislike manages to develop everyone's character more than it does her own.

as a teenage girl myself, let's look at her actions as a teenage girl. not necessarily in chronological order because I'm writing this at 2am and my memory is already mediocre at best.

1. she's done well enough in school to be considered trustworthy and responsible enough to be a prefect.

okay, i can respect that. a good few of the prefects at my school were really just appointed based on how much the teachers liked you, but at hogwarts, there's so few of them that they must put at least a little effort into it, so i'll move on.

2. she does not press for details when informed that her best friend's life needed to be saved by someone who has been publicly tormenting him for years

now, see, there's no reason why she needs to play therapist. it's not her job, she's just a girl, and we know that snape wasn't supposed to talk about the incident, so he would've been stuck if she had asked for an explanation. however, i also feel like she doesn't seem particularly concerned about his wellbeing, and when he brings up his concerns about lupin, rather than ask for proof, she dismisses it. which, fair enough, i would hate to listen to someone talk about the same thing over and over and over, but, i also feel like the fixation on a theory like that would be cause for concern.

3. she dismisses the actions of a group known to play tricks that harm people and have specifically been tormenting her best friend on the basis that they don't use dark magic

first, i'm going to establish what i usually assume dark magic refers to. aside from jinxes, hexes and curses, i also include anything that produces an effect similar to any of the unforgivables (takes away your life, your free will or your ability to feel safe in your own body, such as when you're in excruciating pain), and magic that would require a sacrifice of some sort.

when snape tries to point out the danger in what the marauders do, she insists that they don't use dark magic. and they don't... but they do use illegal magic. she then argues against the company that snape keeps, which, again, to be fair, is justified considering mulciber's done something to mary macdonald... it's also not a particularly realistic ask. snape probably shares a dorm with these guys, and he's a poor half-blood so he's already on the outs. as far as he knows, any dissent will be met with him getting hexed in his sleep. but, i digress.

given that the marauders have been shown to be doing extremely dangerous with little regards to anyone's safety, and actively tormenting her best friend, i disagree with her choice here. on the other hand, she's made her own friends in gryffindor and perhaps she sees a nicer side of them that we don't get to. she's justified in her actions, but i still disagree.

4. she intervenes when her best friend is hung upside down by a spell of his own invention at the wands of the people who have tormenting him for years

she does object to the marauders' treatment of him, and she does try to get them to let him down. if i were in her position, i would absolutely do the same. i respect the decision to stand up for her friend.

5. she does not seriously attempt to help him or punish the marauders

i do not respect how she handled it. at any point, she could have drawn her wand. but, snek, you say, perhaps she didn't want to get involved physically. she wanted to follow the rules. in that case, at any point, she could taken points, assigned detention, or sent someone to get a member of staff. she does none of those things and i viscerally disagree. if we were ever friends and someone tried to hurt you, i can assure you that i would try to at least see to it that they'd be punished, even if it wasn't immediate or by my own hand. lily, however, chooses to argue rather than take action.

6. she smiles when severus gets hung upside down

chances are, it was more than likely an involuntary reaction, like laughing when your friend has fallen over. however, the fact that it was intentionally written in seems like it's mean to be an indicator that the friendship was already falling apart.

7. she comments on her best friend's poverty and uses a name that's been used to make fun of him after he calls her a slur that also applies to him

she was 100% within her rights to be upset by being called a slur. it is never okay to use slurs. the only situation in which a slur could possibly ever be appropriate would be if you were an oppressed group attempting to reclaim said slur which is not at all what snape was doing here. he was experiencing cruelty, being humiliated, publicly, for no reason beyond existing and he was in distress, choking on soap and upside down. it was damaging to his pride, especially when james suggests that he needs lily to fight his battles for him (paraphrasing) which is an emasculating statement to make, especially to a teenage boy. so, snape lashes out with the most hurtful word he could think of, which happened to be a slur that also applies to him. lily was 100% justified in being upset about this, and she retaliated in kind. she was very much allowed to say what she said. i understand that she was hurt and angry and i respect that, especially as i can't guarantee that i would not have been just as upset in that situation.

8. even when the threat of sexual harassment is made, she still does nothing

i get it, at this point, she's hurt, she's mad, she wants him to suffer since she's a teenage girl and teenage girls hold grudges like it's nobody's business, but... i definitely couldn't just stand by and watch it happen. she basically just let them go through with it.

9. she does not accept her best friend's apology for calling her a slur that also applies to him, effectively burying the friendship

she is, by no means, obligated to continue being friends with him. however, if i were in that position, and the apology was sincere, i would take the friend back.

10. she goes on to date and eventually marry the guy who bullied her former best friend for his entire school life

no. i disagree. but, snek, you say, james changed. no. he didn't. we know, that at this point, james was still going after snape behind lily's back. you can say that she didn't know, but that means that she would have allowed james to lie to her and that doesn't sit right with me bc a relationship built on lies is a relationship that is going to fall apart, especially when your partner has been disappointed by your actions before. you can say that she did know, and that proves that she simply didn't take her responsibilities as head girl seriously enough to stop the head boy from harassing people when she explicitly told him not to. the point is, no. there is no way that this would have worked out as a long term relationship. james is too comfortable lying to her. i can't even say she was justified. there is no circumstance where i personally see this as okay for anybody involved.

alright, so, essentially teenage lily was justified in (most of) her actions, even if i find them questionable.

adult lily dies at 21, while saving her son, but her death also helps save the wizarding world. good job. she, as expected, did what any good mother would.

and that's canon lily.

my thoughts: she's a perfect example of why writing tips are so adamant on making sure people try to show and not tell. we were told that lily is meant to be good and pure and lovely, but the author never bothered to actually prove that, so what we're left with a dissonance between what we see and what we know.

as a result, i still don't know if i truly dislike her. her actions are justified, but they don't match with what we've been told, and we don't have any other information to go off of. at best, i can say for certain that i disagree with many of her choices, despite understanding why she would have made them (except for marrying james potter, uggghh, the only good thing to come out of that was harry and the saving of the wizarding world by extension, ig).

thanks for reading all that, btw! hope it made sense :)

[ruby-whistler]

Your c!dream post came on my dash and while I can definitely agree with the main point (torture is wrong no matter who it happens to) some of the contents of that post were a bit bothering to me.

the fact that you implied that your concerned for people who really hate c!dream and therefore see the torture as payback is really crossing a line. I really hope I misinterpreted that because it sounds like your implying that you think those people would dehumanize people in real life. That is a big assumption to make my friend, not something you can just throw around because you see someone talking bad about a character you emphasize with.

And like I said, I’m saying that while agreeing with your main point. I can say that your right about that being something we shouldn’t do while also knowing that this is about a Minecraft roleplay revolving around a character who canonically abused a 17 year old. The accusation your making is not something you should throw around. Just like people shouldn’t accuse Dream apologists who say bad stuff about c!tommy of being real life abuse apologists. There’s a huge difference about being attached to a character and saying something dumb and doing these things irl.

Also I thought we were past referring to lmanburg as colonization? I’m not sure if that’s what you were doing but That’s a real thing that effects people and not something you can just pin on a couple of white streamer men roleplaying. Someone more equipped then me can explain why they are very much not comparable at all, and why it’s bad to compare it, ill probably butcher it. I saw a good post about it somewhere.

And then onto the stuff that’s more story based and doesn’t matter as much:

- dream very much did plan to keep tommy in the prison cell for life, like I’m pretty sure he flat out said it or at least very heavily implied it during the confrontation, someone probably has a clip.

- I can agree that Sam wasn’t manipulated by dream, but he does have trauma from him, in fact it’s a big part of his arc. Dream would brag about what he did to tommy in exile, laughed in his face after killing tommy, and often screamed at him threatening to kill him as well. It affected sam greatly and is what started his spiral.

- There are other things in your post that I disagree with to some extent but honestly debating lore things isn’t what I’m here for. So we can agree to disagree. I’m not really to concerned about the lore stuff.

just like you were talking about being careful about what you are saying about c!dream because it can hurt people, I will also say to be careful in what you say about c!dream in his favor because it can also hurt people. Please do not forget he very canonically abused, murdered, and threatened to murder teenagers. That’s a touchy subject, especially because it was displayed in such a raw manner. Is he deserveing of abuse because of it? Of course not. Is he unworthy of growth or change? Of course not. Does that mean people have to forgive him or like him or sympathize with him? No. No one is morally required to sympathize with a character, as long as your not saying gross things about them. ( like claiming that they deserve torture! )

Someone saying something in the heat of the moment about a character who reminds them of their abuser does not justify calling them real life dehumanizers, or claiming they are prone to it. It’s not cool. And, I and feel like In liking c!dream (or any character who has done something really morally wrong) you have to make sure to be respectful towards people who have been in those situations. You can like a character without excusing their actions. Not saying your doing that, just a blanket statement.

Also, please take care of yourself. If seeing people criticize or say bad things about a character you like is causing you genuine distress, please take a break. I tend to hyperfixate and project and I know that sometimes it can be a really harmful thing. It helps a lot to take a deep breathe and step away for a few minutes. This is a reminder to everyone else as well to always tag crit. And to clarify, I’m not trying to like drag you through the mud for anything I disagree with in your post. Like trust me I get heat of the moment reactions and not completely thinking through everything you write down. And just blatantly not knowing that something isn’t cool to say. I just want to make sure it’s known that hey, maybe people shouldn’t say _.

If there’s anything in my post that’s wrong I apologize, I’m open to respectful criticism. And also just to finish this off, I know getting critical asks can be upsetting, so if you are genuinely made upset, angry, or anxious by this ask, please just leave it be. Don’t respond, or take a breather before you do. I’m saying this because like I said I just came across this post, I don’t know you or how you tend to react to things so I don’t want to start a huge thing. Just giving my thoughts and crit.

And also because having people yell/be really rude at me makes me very genuinely anxious! Even if it’s anon. Please keep that in mind if you respond (you don’t have to, it’s up to you) You can respond and disagree however much you like, just please don’t be a jerk about it cause I’ll probably cry lol (seriously tho like I said I’m sensitive)

Alright, so first as a quick disclaimer, I’m going to out a summary of the original post’s points, just to ensure that we’re on the same page;

The post does say:

- don’t dehumanize c!Dream because it continuously hurts people who relate to and/or sympathize with him, also dehumanization in general is an inherently wrong mindset

- don’t attack people who sympathize with him because he’s a victim of abuse besides other things

The post never says:

- you cannot hate c!Dream and not sympathizing with him is wrong

- the things c!Dream has done are to any degree excused

- don’t dehumanize c!Dream because he’s a good person

- people who dehumanize c!Dream are real life abuse apologists

If you read the post and didn’t get these points from it, i advise you to reread it as I made pretty much all of these abundantly clear.

I absolutely never said anything about real life abuse apologism. I continuously put (fictional) in front of things to make that point. I don’t know how you got that from the post.

Dehumanization is wrong. Dehumanization of fictional characters on a large scale to the point where people will excuse his abuse is wrong and it hurts people and I will speak out about it. It doesn’t mean people will dehumanize people irl or that they are prone to it, but it’s still wrong.

I never said L’manberg was colonization. I said some people who have had their country colonized relate to him because he had his home torn apart and is desperate to return it back to its original state. This is a completely valid reason to relate to him as it is a pretty big part of the character.

He said he would “put him in the prison”. I don’t remember him saying it would be forever, but he could’ve said that, however I’d like a clip first. He never said he would be stored in the inhumane, main cell, and it makes a lot more sense that he wouldn’t be in there 1) because Dream said it was only a security measure 2) the prisoner was supposed to be able to move around the prison.

I don’t care that the abuser was “traumatized” by the abuse victim telling him of his actions. If I was being tortured mentally and mistreated and neglected physically by a person who hates my guts for weeks I too would probably threaten him. It didn’t start his spiral. His spiral was caused by corruption and possibly hatred, not being “hurt” by c!Dream. c!Dream didn’t cause himself to be abused, that was fully c!Sam’s decision, and saying otherwise is victim blaming (not saying you did that, just putting this point out here).

I do not forget the bad things he’s done. I was there. I saw it. I hated him for it. I still sympathize with him. I still believe he deserves better. I still believe he deserves to get better. I 100% agree with the point that it’s wrong to say someone is required to feel sympathy, as long as they don’t dehumanize him and harass people who do. That was the literal point of the post.

I am one of the many c!Dream fans who get constantly triggered because of how overwhelming the dehumanization is in the community. It’s not being hypersensitive, and I really hope you’re not implying that. It’s a very real issue that should be solved so that people don’t have to “take breaks” because of it.

I don’t care if people hate him or criticize him. I genuinely couldn’t care less. He did disgusting things. I’m used to it. But it is normalized in the community to say stuff about the character that is genuinely triggering, and would be to anyone if people were saying it on a large scale about their favorite character.

Hope this didn’t come off as too aggressive, I have anxiety and I didn’t want to let my feelings bleed into this because that wouldn’t be good for me. Wish you a nice day.

[finalgirlbrainrot]

I have two unpopular opinions 1) if roles were reversed and Dean was the one drinking blood, Dean stans would have excused the shit out of it and even liked it. 2) if none of Dean's trauma was addressed and ignored (like most of Sam's trauma is) Dean stans would fucking riot.

intensely aggressively strongly agree | strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

(sorry in advance, I ranted A Lot)

2) I'm gonna start with this one. YESYESYES I mean dean stans are already constantly unironically whining that dean's traumas never get acknowledged (EVEN THO IT'S LITERALLY NOT TRUE, HIS TRAUMAS ALREADY GET ACKNOWLEDGED MORE THAN ENOUGH. EVERY TIME HE STUBS HIS TOE. EVERYONE IS CODDLING HIM AND ASKING HIM HOW HE'S DOING. HALF THE SHOW IS LITERALLY DEAN MANPAINING ABOUT HIS TRAUMAS - but apparently that's not enough for them, so I can't imagine the uproar if it was actually true). meanwhile sam's traumas either get ignored or they get treated like a fucking joke? well I guess it's just another tuesday

I've also seen a lot of dean stans moaning about sam "forcing dean to talk about his traumas", because apparently sam actually acknowledging dean's traumas and encouraging him to open up about them and being always supportive af because he actually cares is unacceptable (and I'm willing to bet that if he didn't acknowledge them, they'd still complain because sam literally can't win no matter what he does)

but dean ignoring and never acknowledging sam's traumas (not even when he's directly responsible for said trauma) or making them all about himself (mystery spot, hallucifer, soullessness, gadreel possession) or vilifying and victim blaming him (being force-fed demon blood, soullessness, gadreel possession) or using said traumas to justify his actions (hallucifer) or making cruel, disgusting and unnecessary jokes about them ("you had a girl inside you for a whole week" [meg possession] "you know how wrong that sounds, right?" "you've like an episode of teen mom" [gadreel possession - let's talk about how these two in particular are a thousand times more disgusting than the rest since he's actually joking about a violation he's directly responsible for] "smores foot" [bmol torture] "crybaby pie" [cole torture] "you saw the [devil's] john [or butt]?" [the cage] dick of death jokes right, left and center) is perfectly acceptable behaviour

1) again YESYESYESYES. I mean, this isn't even a hypothesis, we already have an extremely similar storyline for dean - the moc - and everyone made excuses for him and glorified him, even tho he was worse than demon blood sam in every possible way

actually I wrote a rant on reddit a couple of days ago about the awful double standards between demon blood sam and moc/demon dean. I'm gonna paste it here because I'm Bitter Af

comparing demon blood sam and moc/demon demon is ironically and hysterically bitter because, logically, no matter how you spin it, s4 sam is much more understandable and easy to sympathize with - both in intentions and actions - and should have the moral high ground, while s9-10 dean was flat out awful and damaging. yet both the show and the fandom crucify sam and treat dean as some poor victim or a great martyred hero who made some great noble sacrifice and I just... don't get it. so let's break it down:

> reason for drinking blood / getting the moc

- sam: exorcising demons without harming the host, thus saving people (which apparently isn't that relevant to dean) and killing lilith, first because she sent his brother to hell and then to stop the apocalypse and because she was an actual threat

- dean: because he couldn't face the consequences of his actions after the gadreel mess and decided he wanted to kill abaddon, who, at that point, wasn't even their problem (she only became a real problem in 9x17, when they learned about the soul harvesting, so unless dean has some sort of prophetic knowledge, he had no reason to take the moc in 9x11) and was a real threat to no-one but crowley

> trusting / working with a demon

- sam: I've already said this before, but ruby was a master manipulator and went to extraordinary lengths to gain sam's trust and even managed to fool every single demon (aside from lilith obviously). as far as both brothers knew, she's done nothing but help them, saved their lives multiple times and helped them save others, fixed the colt for them, was there for sam after dean died, is basically hunted by other demons for helping them, has risked her life for them several times and even got tortured for them and was helping sam to go after the demon who was trying to start the apocalypse. sam had absolutely no valid reason not to trust her. I'd really like someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that, if anyone did everything I mentioned above, you wouldn't trust them

- dean: trusted a demon who they knew is extremely untrustworthy and self-serving and only does what's in his best interest and has screwed them over one way or another every time they worked together and has hurt people they're close to

> level of manipulation involved

- sam: as I already said, ruby was a master manipulator and spent two years carefully manipulating sam to get him to do what she wanted. not the mention everything azazel did to get him there, lilith pushing his buttons at every turn to get him to kill her and the manipulation from heaven as well, who were lying to the boys at every turn

- dean: while crowley was manipulating him, the level of manipulation isn't remotely comparable to the one sam went through is s4. crowley saying “let’s kill abaddon” and pretending to be afraid of cain is not comparable to a plan that’s been set on motion since the beginning of time and crowley wasn't the only one involved in dean getting the mark. cain was involved as well and he wasn't manipulating him (unlike sam, who was being manipulated by everyone involved). on the contrary, he was completely honest with dean and even offered to tell him more about the mark and DEAN REFUSED (like can you imagine how many problems would've been avoided if dean sat on his ass for one minute and listened to cain's warning???)

> actions

- sam: in s4 sam was trying to use something that was forced on him when he was six months old, and that he hated about himself, to do good because he felt like he had to and was literally SAVING PEOPLE and trying to stop the apocalypse, I literally still don't get why he's vilified for it????? in s4 sam killed a total of one (1) person: the possessed nurse and while that was obviously bad, 1) he was clearly upset about it and 2) I still haven't seen one (1) valid reason for why she's any different from the demons dean drained and killed in swan song or from any of the other possession victims they killed with the demon knife or the angel blade

- dean: meanwhile dean was going around murdering people left and right (also another example of fandom double standards: everyone defends moc!dean and demon!dean because "he only killed bad people" - which isn't even true, but let's say he was - and yet, I seem to remember a certain kitsune named amy pond, who was ALSO killing bad people (and not for the lolz of it, but to save her son) and dean killed her and the fandom defended him back then as well. is killing bad people okay only if dean does it?), tried to kill sam, beat cas bloody

> keeping secrets

- sam: keeping his powers and the demon blood a secret was his god given right, since it affected no-one but sam himself and the demons he was exorcising. not to mention, he had pretty good reasons for not telling dean, considering his bigotry, black and white views and judgmental attitude. and yet, he was, and still is, vilified by both the show and the fandom for keeping secrets and dean even punched him for not telling him about his abilities (something in particular about this point that absolutely drives me up the wall: in 4x04 sam accidentally revealed that he knew about what azazel did to him and dean got mad at him for not telling him about it, even tho dean himself found out about it and didn't tell sam and no-one - not the show, not the fandom and not even sam and dean themselves - notices the hypocrisy. they're literally saying that it's okay for DEAN to keeps something about SAM a secret from SAM, but not okay for SAM to keep something about HIMSELF a secret from DEAN. if you don't think that's super fucked up, then I don't know what to tell you)

- dean: no-one says anything about dean keeping the effects of the mark a secret, even tho, unlike s4 sam, lying about the mark directly affected other people and put everyone around him in danger, including sam

> general treatment

- sam: everyone treated sam like a monster in s4, dean straight up called him a monster, told him he'd hunt him if he didn't know him, forced him into a torture-detox that almost killed him, tried to control him and refused to see his point. at the end of s4 sam apologized to dean. in s5 dean repeatedly told him that he doesn't trust him. sam was blamed for everything that happened in s4 and his mistake kept getting brought up even seasons later

- dean: everyone and their mom was coddling him and helping to get rid of the mark. everyone considered the mark to be the problem, not dean himself. sam was unconditionally supportive. dean never once apologized to sam for any of the awful things he said/did to him while he had the mark. sam never once blamed dean for anything that happened in s9-10 and instead placed the blame on crowley and none of the things dean did ever got brought up again

> at the end of each arc

- sam: paid for his mistake by sacrificing himself and jumped into the cage and saved the world and got tortured by the devil himself for centuries

- dean: paid for his mistake by having his mother brought back to life

send me unpopular opinions

[vintagegoddess12]

Lie To Me (2)

[Cordelia Goode x Reader]

A/N: Advanced Happy Holidays, everybody! Thanks for your support in every little crazy work that I put out, even if I give very slow updates. The tag part is very incomplete I feel. All of you that asked to be part of the taglist are scattered in so many post. I have to scroll really deep in my very messy timeline just to see yah names. If I forgot to tag you, please don’t be upset. Just DM. No worries, I love entertaining your requests tho. Part 2 is here with Student!Delia x Student!Reader feels. Hope you enjoy it!

Tags: @ravenforce​ @cordeliasflowergirl​ @athenamgh​ @stevenuniversetanzanite​ @germansarechill​ @chonisbestmistake​ @alurous​ @coconutlipss​ @saucy-sapphic​ @ghiblitearss​ @emilyprentisswife​ @thats-my-peach​ @suckerforsally​ @worldssocialantisocial​ @shelby-victoria7​ @madamvirgo​ 

Cordelia’s POV

Shit! That was the first thought that crossed Cordelia's mind when she heard [Y/N]'s voice fill the room. She wasn't supposed to be here yet. "Delia," your presence immediately affecting the composure of the young witch, "what are you doing?" She tried to excuse her way out of the situation when no words came out of her. You stood in front of her, waiting for an answer when the unconscious man stirred from the bed. Cordelia's gaze remained fixed on your face, still trying to recover from the shock of being discovered red-handed. "This bitch tried to-" "Oh, shut up, Dan." you immediately cut-off the guy and sent him back to sleep. Your hands found Delia's shoulder, shaking her back to reality. The blonde looked at you, her roommate, and mustered the courage to answer her previous question. "It wasn't supposed to do that." "Do what?" Myrtle's question hung in the air as the two young witches remained silent, watching their instructor stand in their bedroom doorway. The redhead witch glanced at the unconscious body on Delia's bed before returning her attention to her impossibly silent ward. "If you're not going to answer me," Myrtle paused to take a hit from her signature cigarette, " you will answer to the council." She proceeded to walk away.   Delia turned to you, fear, and panic present in her eyes. "Why would the council be involved?" You took a deep breath as if summoning all the patience left in you before answering. "There's an unconscious spellbound warlock in our bedroom," Cordelia's eyes went wider as you continued, "who happens to be a Level 2. Of course, the council will be involved." This time, Cordelia no longer had the energy to hide her vulgarity and simply exhaled, "Shit." [Y/N] looked at the body and agreed. "Shit indeed."

As the two young witches are ushered by Myrtle down to the living room, where the Council has convened, Cordelia can't help but remember how everything started. 

"You will be happy here," Myrtle whispered in my ear as I watched my mother drive away from the academy. Once Fiona decides that it's time, it is time. You do not question the Supreme, you learn that early in life about her. I flashed a smile to Myrtle after Spalding took my luggage and went ahead of us. The redhead witch ushered me up the stairs as she gives me an introductory lesson about the house and its tenants. "You will be a great addition to this year's class," she remarks after seeing some of her students, dressed in black, pass by. They gave me a double look before fully walking away. I don't think that's welcoming at all. "Do we have to wear black all the time?" I blurted out just as we stopped in front of a bedroom door. Myrtle, who is obviously wearing a gold-themed outfit, looked at me like I just spoke alien. "It's just that I've always seen Mother dressed in black." "Cordelia, darling, don't be ridiculous." She caressed my hair before continuing, "Your mother may be the Supreme but she's not as good as I am when it comes to fashion." I was taken aback by how bold her statement is against Fiona. I never thought anyone had the guts to say something ill of her, especially not one from her council. "You can absolutely wear anything you like, dear." She knocked on the door as she said, "$4,000 per fit is the limit for your age range." I laughed softly at her remarks. I think I'll love her. She looks at me like there's something special in me. That's something you would not get when you stand in front of literally the most powerful witch on Earth. She opened the door and led me inside. The room had two beds, placed on opposite corners, with white sheets covering them. The bed beside the door was unmade while the one near the window had a heap of clothes on it. The sunrays give the room a heavenly feel. It's warm and homey. I think I like it. Suddenly, the bathroom door on our left opened and a woman emerged wearing only a bathroom towel. She had her hair in a bun and droplets of water run down her exposed skin. Her sight made my throat dry and I had to clear my throat just to remain focused. The sound I made did not go unnoticed by the two witches in the room.   You glanced at our reflections in the mirror; your eyes showing surprise in an instant. You looked back at us and flashed a smile before saying, "give me a second." You looked back into the mirror and snapped your fingers. In an instant, the bathroom towel was replaced by a black dress with spaghetti straps. The sudden display of magic made me jump a little and I can feel the experienced witch beside me chuckle a little. "[Y/n], why don't you introduce yourself here." You walked towards us and flashed the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my life. You squinted your eyes before introducing yourself. "[Y/N] [Y/L/N]. You held my gaze, as long as I did. "Cordelia." I shifted on my feet under your gaze. "You'll be sharing the room with her, [y/n]," Myrtle pat my back, "for the whole duration of your stay in this coven." Still entranced by your smile, the pat on my back jolt me back to consciousness. "Which bed will I be using?" You pointed at the bed near the window before looking in that direction. "That one," your excited tone turned embarrassed upon seeing the bed situation. You gave me a sheepish smile as you wave your hand to move the clothes on your bed. "[Y/N], what did I say about using magic for trivial things?" You smiled at the reprimand given and mouthed sorry to the older witch. "I'll leave you two to check on our dinner." We both nodded in her way. As she was walking out the door, she turned back and said, "[y/n], behave." "When am I not?" You replied teasingly and closed the door. I walked towards the bed and noticed that my luggage was nowhere to be found. I looked under and near the bed but there was none. You must have noticed my actions. "You looking for your things?" You asked leaning on the door. "Yes." "Yeah, Spalding checks the luggage of newcomers," you sat on the edge of your bed, "to see if anyone brought any illegal items." I mimicked your action and sat on mine, silence blanketing the room for the first time. It didn't last long though. "So Cordelia," my name felt natural coming out of your lips, "where have I heard that name before?" Confusion is evident on your face. "Actually, it's Cordelia Goode." "Oh," your immediate response, "the daughter." It was now my turn to look confusingly, which you picked up easily. "People have been buzzing about you here," you started folding the heap of black clothes. "Supreme's daughter and all." I get this every time I go somewhere she's known. I shook my head and said, "too bad nothing's special about me." You looked like you were personally offended by the statement. "Everyone's special in their own way-" I was about to disagree when you raised your hand, "-trust me." A knock echoed through the room that cut off our conversation. You opened the door, revealing Spalding with my things. I stood from my bed and retrieved my belongings from the butler. You thanked him and closed the door. I started unpacking - looking - for that family heirloom from my grandmother that I tried to take with me here. I opened my jewelry box and discovered that it wasn't there. "Shit," I muttered. "You okay there, Cordy?" My head turned sharply in your direction, surprised by the nickname. I opened my mouth trying to come up with an answer only to have nothing. I don't understand why I get flustered easily in your presence. "If it's okay, I'll call you Cordy." You explained. I nodded. "I don't see any problem with that." I kinda like it actually. "So," your tone concerned, "is anything wrong?" "I think my mother bribed the butler to get a family heirloom that I may have smuggled here," I replied, trying to feign innocence. You let out a chuckle causing you to smile, the kind that I will look forward to in the years to come. "That's an oddly specific request to make, don't you think?" You said in between laughter. "She may have asked me about it before leaving the house," I replied. Somehow, my reply made you laugh even more. At this point, I don't even mind being funny if I can hear that laugh every time. "Oh, honey," the pet name causing goosebumps in my arm for some unknown reason. "You do know that putting 'may haves' in your statement doesn't necessarily make it hypothetical." "I see that now," was all I could say while trying to hide the blush forming on my cheeks. You smiled before giving advice that I should have taken seriously, "Do me a favor and don't try to lie. You're terrible at it." --- [Y/N]’s POV Fleming. Pembroke. Snow. Three respected witches and ally that stands as the Coven's Council. Three sets of eyes that did not hide how displeased they are with what happened. If that wasn't enough, Fiona Goode is in the room to witness all of this. Myrtle, who is seated in the middle, asked the first question to the two young witches in front of them. "Who cast the first spell to Dan Miller?" Her eyes darting between Cordelia and yours. "A Level 2 warlock," Quentin Fleming added. Cecily Pembroke did not miss the chance to speak up after, "who shouldn't even be in the premises;" clearly insinuating something. You and your roommate remained silent. You sense her cowering from the death stare being shot to her by her own mother, who is constantly blowing out smoke from the other side of the room. "I am going to ask again. Who-" "Myrtle, this is a waste of time." The Supreme spoke as she moves towards the both of you. "They're young. They're witches." Her gaze now burning through your skin. "Just because you didn't fool around, doesn't mean they shouldn't." She looked at you like she can read you from head to toe. With the extent of her powers, she probably can. Myrtle huffed. It was no secret that the two older witches have great animosity between them that started since they lived at the academy. For you to see it in action, that was another thing. Their relationship is the total opposite of what you and Cordelia have. You're inseparable. It only has been months but you're pretty sure you found a second home whenever she's around. So you know that whatever she did, it was an accident. "I did it," you confessed. Cordelia sharply turned her head in your direction, not minding that her mother is standing in front of her. You remained looking at the Council of three to gauge their reaction. Fiona, who is now moving away from your periphery, looks so pleased she might- Actually, you don't know. You have no idea what type of kindness the Supreme can show you. The redhead let out an exasperated sigh. As if she expected this kind of behavior from you. "What did you do?" "Dan is my boyfriend," you can feel the raised eyebrows and judgment. "I mean was, probably, because I'm pretty sure we'll break up after all of this." There's no lie to this. Cordelia looked down once again, feeling sorry for what she did. You continued to explain, as you make up the story on the fly. "Which is the point of the spell." Myrtle urged you to go on. "I've been trying to break up with him. I've said it nicely. Politely." Your face now turning sour, "but he just keeps coming back." This is where the fiction begins. "So I thought, maybe I can urge him to break up with me if I use my powers on him." Quentin looked puzzled before asking his question. "What is her power anyway?" Myrtle, who tended to you since birth, replied, "reality alteration." You continued. "I didn't know the spell would fail, terribly. When he started to wake up, he started asking questions, So I sent him back to sleep." You gulped, ready to cement the lie. "That's when Cordelia walked into our room. Followed by Myrtle." "See it was just a lover's quarrel," the Supreme quipped from behind. The redhead looks like she's so close to throwing a vase at her. "If you had relations with a non-witch individual, we wouldn't be here." Myrtle stood up to further emphasize her point. "But you know that any spell used against our brothers and sisters is considered a grave offense." "I never meant to hurt him," you reasoned. "I just want to lead him to the idea of breaking up." The small sobs of Cordelia did not go unnoticed in your hearing. "Besides, this wasn't the first time a spell is used in the course of the relationship." The instant stopping of the typewriter signaled that even Pembroke was surprised. "What do you mean?" She said. "We've used certain spells," you paused thinking if saying this was the right thing. Delia couldn't even look at you whenever you recount your romantic adventures to her. You continued, "to heighten certain experiences." "It still doesn't change the fact-" Myrtle once again was cut off by her archnemesis. "Enough," the commanding voice of the Supreme filled the halls. "She already admitted it. She said she never meant to hurt him. She went as far as to recount a personal memory just so you would understand." The council member did not hide how she tried to bite her tongue before speaking up. "Let me remind you that you are here as Cordelia's mother and not as [y/n]'s lawyer." Delia once told you how sharp her mother's eyes can be when she's mad. If looks could kill, Myrtle would probably be dead now. The sound of her stilettos was crisp against the tiled floor. She situated herself in front of the Council's table, starting the three of them down. If that's even possible. You took this time to see how your Cordy is doing. "Hey," you whispered. She looked up to you, not knowing how puffy her eyes had been. "You didn't have to do this, you know." Her sobs now getting weaker. You send a small smile her way before replying. "Yes, I have to because he's my baggage and you, honey, are still terrible in lying." You reached her hand to give her a squeeze. A little reminder that you're still here, beside her - always. Turning your attention back to the staring contest in front of you. You realized that 2 out of the 3 are already hunkered at the sheer proximity of their Supreme. It's actually a surprise that Myrtle can hold her own against her. "Let me remind you," Fiona's voice laced with poison, "that I am your Supreme." Your mentor clenched her jaw before sitting down - a sign of submission. Cordelia sat on her bed, waiting for you to come back from the Council deliberation. She insisted she wanted to stay but her mother is not the person she would say no to. So here she is, worried for whatever punishment you'll receive that should have been hers. There is no doubt she's beating herself up. She just wanted to help you get rid of Dan. She absolutely did not want it to go this way. Such a stupid, reckless mistake. The door opened to reveal you, with Fiona behind. The young witch jumped from the bed and hugged you like it's second nature. Your hands found her back and relished at the warmth her body emanates. "Hey, everything's fine." You cooed. You can feel her jaw move against your skin before you hear her say, "Are you sure? You're not getting burned at the stake?" The both of you heard Fiona chuckled as you release her daughter from the embrace. "The next time the two of you want to play boner hot potato, can you do it without attracting the Council?" Delia was about to react when she felt your hand stop her from doing so. She leaned into the touch, always welcoming whatever physical affection you give her. "Noted, ma'am." You replied before the Supreme walked away. "I'm really sorry," Cordelia sat you down and never let go of your hand. You sent a soft smile her way before replying. "I know you are but," you pulled her to sit beside you, "why did you use re vera falsum on him?" Cordy fidgeted with her hands, unable to look at you. Your hand reached for hair and caressed it all the way down to her back; a simple action that sent chills down her spine. Still unable to answer, you next asked her, "Do you like him?" Cordelia was obviously shocked by the question because not only did she stop fidgeting, she also looked up to you with wide eyes. "I mean you could have just told him that you wanted a threesome or something, he would probably say yes," you continued. "No," she shook her head. "No, I don't." You looked at her, trying to understand why she did- "Do you not like him..." you paused to put pieces together, "for me?" Once again, Cordelia felt shame inside, and looked down before saying, "I'm really sorry." To be completely honest, you would have settled with a nod as a response to the question. 

It's not in her character to meddle in your romantic life and you're pretty sure that her reason runs deeper than simply helping you break it off with him. You shrugged it off and told yourself that this is a conversation for another day or decade. You shot her a smile before replying, "it's okay. Just remember you can't use re vera falsum ever." Her eyes did not hide the curiosity that she instantly tried to bury. "Did Fiona really not tell you anything about our heritage?" "Only that she's the most important part of it," she quipped. "Well, Cordy," you made yourself comfortable on the bed, "let me tell you about the only witch alive who can alter reality."

[melohax]

Ok so I just realized that I can send long ask so I will just copy paste my last meta here, it will kinda be a mumble jumbo wall of text so I hope you don’t mind

I have never personally perceived what shadow Basil said about us as he was deeming is as cruel or evil toward them tbh. Shadow Basil seems to be there to ground Sunny back to reality more by recalling him of the past and calling out his escapism to me more. Him saying “but after everything, you left me” is less him calling out on Sunny being evil toward him but more on him calling out how Sunny just mentally completely shut off from reality, him dropped out of school irl and become shut in paralleling to him building an entire imaginary world on “black space” and suppressing the black space as the light bulb locking other half of Basil who knows away, leaving Basil both irl and in dream to be left alone dealing with his own guilt.

You talking about Basil irl and black space Basil occasionally has the same overlapping dialogues of “will you forgive me?”/“do you hate me?” also raised up possibility of Basil irl has also said these to Sunny in the past thus his manifestation saying the same thing to him. Basil in dream world acting completely carefree and sweet is more of him just want to live in his idealistic, good old day of the past tbh (evidence in how 4 years have passed yet the citizen in the dream world never age, dream HERO still 15 years old haha why are you so small) and Omori acting “cold” or “strange” isn’t entirely exclusive to Basil either since we saw the same instance with Mari who was trying to guide Sunny to the truth at the beginning of Last Resort arc, as he is the manifestation guardian who “guards” Sunny’s psych so to speak and the irl instance where Sunny hurt Basil is when them both are in panic and fist fight each other to dead so I think it’s an understandable reaction tbh SFGHVJBK.

There is a lot more but the biggest reason why a large part of me feeling like Sunny doesn’t exactly “hate” or blame Basil for anything he did is also because the way the narration portray him coping with thing, he completely and utterly rejects it, denies it from being real, being “I do not see it” (the closet door lead to the toy book with his broken violin completely disappeared irl in his pov despite other character still comment about it, when Basil was tying the noose to uh do the thing Sunny chose to pretend that he did not see what was happening, when he witnesses Basil’s death in one of the bad end if you try to interact with the door lead to Basil’s room again it will completely disappear with Sunny notes that “there is nothing there”) than blaming it on someone or something else and when he finally forced to face the truth he just blames himself the most, how he just took away everyone happiness irrc

ALSO SORRY AGAIN FOR A LONG WALL OF TEXT AFHJGJJ

Yeah, I’ve already talked in my other posts about Sunny’s coping through extreme avoidance and how it intertwines with him burying the truth in his subconscious and so forth. It doesn’t cancel out how his subconscious does see the truth to the point that Blackspace keeps leaking into Dream world.

Daddy Longlegs mentions this, how Sunny and Omori do all they can to pretend they don’t see the truth, repressing as much as possible BUT Blackspace still ends up leaking into the Dream world regardless.

As much as Sunny’s mind keeps working to get rid of all that hurts him, blackspace keeps seeping into his dreams and yet he still seeks Dream Basil out when he disappears from his mind. This is counterproductive in that it interferes with his own coping mechanisms of “I do not see it” and Omori’s attempts at defending his mind. It tells us that Sunny’s thoughts and feelings are conflicted, he both wants to suppress the truth while his mind simultaneously has him trying to save the person that represents said truth to him.

Sunny and Omori want to keep the good parts of Basil in his dream, the parts that remind him of the good ol days of innocent childhood. Meanwhile, he tries locking away the parts of Basil’s existence that hurt him (Basil giving him the Mari idea, Basil hanging Mari, the monsters Basil sees etc etc) but he always fails.

Daddy Longlegs, the Blackspace void people and the tree in the deepest well tells us Sunny’s mind has never been able to separate his ideal Basil from the parts of Basil that force him to acknowledge what happened.

I kinda also disagree with your other arguments too tbh.

Like I said before, monsters with Basil’s dialogue keep calling Sunny a liar (like the one on the train) and Sunny’s subconscious he tries to represskeeps focusing on how he hurts Dream Basil: Basil telling him he doesn’t feel safe, the invisible shadows in the main room of Blackspace calling Omori and Sunny evil, commenting on Sunny’s mistreatment of Basil and their fears that he’ll do something to real world Basil if he’s not “uncorrupted”.

Sunny’s mind specifically clings to Basil’s “do you hate me?” + his apologies for a reason. Real Basil very likely said these things to Sunny this mind keeps going back to it for a reason. Mari commenting on Omori being cold isn’t the same at all cus Basil commented on it in a context where he was about to be killed and his next words are about how he doesn’t feel safe with Sunny.

When I talk of dream Basil’s almost angelic persona, I don’t mean just him being the way he was in the “good old childhood days” all carefree and sweet. I’m talking about things like how even when he’s being killed, Sunny portrays Basil in his mind as still trying to be kind, understanding and passive even to the things actively hurting him (like how Dream Basil keeps trying to be nice to the spiders even while they’re eating him alive).

Real life Basil isn’t only made of infinite beatific patience like Dream Basil is. He cries, gets angry and really upset at times, tells Sunny it’s not fair that Sunny left him behind. Basil calls Sunny out on lying about promising to always be there for each other and begs in desperation for Sunny not to leave him, once again coming back to him asking “Do you hate me?”.

Dream Basil is also shown as very helpless and someone who would never resort to violence. This is shown not to be true in the real world.

Basil will resort to violence if he feels it’s absolutely necessary to protect the person he loves, like how he physically attacks Sunny at the end, possibly gouging Sunny’s eye out in the process. Basil does this believing he’s genuinely going to save Sunny from the “Something” behind him so it shows he’s not just this eternally passive, soft, helpless being Sunny’s mind portrays him as.

Real Basil is willing to do anything it takes (including resorting to physical violence) if its for the sake of the person he loves most. It’s a contrast to how Sunny in his dreams goes as far as putting his ideal of Basil on this pedestal of “purity” at times. This goes back to how one the invisible strangers walking in Blackspace void tells Omori it hopes real Basil is uncorrupted or else it fears what Sunny will do to him.

Then there’s shadow Basil. He doesn’t just “ground” Sunny, he also reminds Sunny of the consequences his actions have on others. This shows that Sunny’s subconscious (Blackspace) acknowledges the truth even though real Sunny keeps trying to pretend it’s not there and Omori keeps trying to bury it.

These are all parts of Basil that Sunny doesn’t want to see and that he keeps trying to lock away deep in Blackspace so that only his perfect version of Basil remains in his mind. All of the trouble Sunny goes through to shut his eyes and yet when Omori finds Basil in the alternate rooms in Blackspace, it’s as if Sunny’s mind keeps trying to guilt trip itself over how he’s been treating Basil by showing Basil constantly suffering and dying in horrible ways.

So imo the points you made are easily attributed not only to extreme avoidance but also to entangled feelings of hatred, love, fear and pain. Sunny isn’t a completely innocent character when it comes to his mind and certain actions (being able to stab real world Aubrey and stuff) but that’s ok. It doesn’t mean he’s simply a villain, it just means he’s complex and with complicated emotions the same as most human beings.

Of course at the end Sunny blames himself the most, I talked about this in my first post too. It’s by then that he’s accepted his main role in the tragedy with Mari (the fact it was an accident, Basils good intentions, why he isolated himself, etc) and he’s moving towards facing the most painful parts of it. That’s part of the whole point.

None of this means Sunny generally just cruel or callous, of course. Again, I’ve already said before that this doesn’t make Sunny objectively “evil” or anything of the sort. His own mind is the one calling him evil due to all his guilt and so on.

Also P.S. Please be mindful and don’t spam my inbox with so many messages tho 😣 I got this entire message sent thrice in my inbox and then you also sent it as a submission and then you also sent a few other asks as well all in the span of one day. They were all kinda the same subject over and over too.

If it’s tumblr being fucky and sending that many messages repeatedly, I understand and it’s ok but then I’d rather you come off anon instead cus boy it spams.

[chaoticspacefam]

The Lana Shipping Meme!

This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom​ who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3

Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.

Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?

Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D

Do they make jokes together?

Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:

Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised Saarai: Why didn’t you say something? Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this? Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more.... Lana: Good. I still love you, though. Saarai: :’D

Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you? Saarai: Yeah, probably.

as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P

Who’s hornier? (who initiates)

Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk

Kinkiest they’ve been?

Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla

There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏

Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?

In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.

Favorite non sexual downtime activity?

Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.

Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?

So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3

Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?

In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.

Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.

Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏

Lana was mortified, to say the least XD

That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?

Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;

Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.

The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?

There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one

1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)

2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!” Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢

How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)

For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.

For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD

Do they have kids?

Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD

What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?

I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :( But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D

House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?

Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3

Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?

They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.

Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?

They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)

But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, ��okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D

Class Specific things that play into their relationship?

Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D

When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.

Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)

Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?

"Kriff. Koth, what happened?” Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”

That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.

Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do

Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”

Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao

Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?

Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD

Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.

Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?

Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)

When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜

Story that is prominent in their relationship?

I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq

I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii. Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3

[telehxhtrash]

There’s two funny things I noticed about killugon shippers. 1. Even though everyone seems to think their separation is “healthy” because they’d become codependent, I don’t see this same mindset extending to Killua and Alluka. They’re codependent too, and I don’t see why one relationship is bad and the other is good. 2. People praise Killua trading Gon out for Alluka, but get upset if anyone mentions Gon meeting someone else his age to be his new adventuring buddy. Gon should be allowed to be happy and replace as he’s been replaced. Everything seems one-sided where ppl want Killua happy with Alluka, but are ok with Gon being alone and wallowing in that loneliness and guilt. I don’t get it.

HI ANON I’M SORRY MY BRAIN WAS JUST. not cooperating these past few weeks, that’s why it’s taken me a while to reply.

For the first part of your ask.... I’m gonna have to disagree with you on some parts. I think Killua’s relationship with Gon can’t be compared to his relationship with Alluka. You honestly can’t compare friendship/borderline romance to family relationships. They’re a very different type of love. That’s why I don’t really like it when people say Killua “replaced” Gon with Alluka, or that he cares more about her than Gon. No, he loves them both the same. It’s just different types of love.

I think the main reason Killua's relationship with Gon was codependent in an unhealthy way is because the codependency sparked from lack of self worth. Killua's low self esteem led him to act in ways that were completely self-destructive, almost leading him to death instead of trying to communicate properly. 

I also think that the codependency was reinforced by the fact that at the time Killua's love bloomed, it couldn't be reciprocated. It only led Killua to spiral further and further and completely get stuck in an endless loop of self loathing. That's the main difference with his relationship with Alluka ! Gon couldn't provide Killua with the love he needed at that time, and it led Killua to self-destruction. 

But with Alluka, this love isn't rooted in self loathing. Killua knows Alluka loves him. He doesn't doubt it even a second, because they're siblings. He knows Alluka's love in unconditional. That's why I think him taking some time off and staying with Alluka is a good thing : he'll get to experience unconditional love (not saying Gon didn't provide him with it because Gon did. Gon absolutely loves Killua unconditionally. It's just that Killua can't realize it yet.). And I think this experience will make him grow and learn how to love himself. 

Killua constantly self-sacrificed because he didn't know how Gon felt about him and he felt like he didn't deserve him, but with Alluka, he knows shes loves him no matter what. That's why I don't think you can truly say that Alluka and Killua's relationship is unhealthy. Killua is just looking for comfort in family relationships, I honestly don't see how it's codependency, and I think this will actually lead him to self-love.

So Killua and Alluka's relationship in itself isn't unhealthy. But of course, yeah, I definitely agree, Killua putting making Alluka his entire goal isn't healthy, just as it wasn’t healthy when he put Gon first. I wish Killua would put himself first for once. But I don’t think his relationship with Alluka in itself is unhealthy or codependent. At least, not from what we’ve seen so far ! But I agree, Killua revolving his entire life goal around one person and devoting his entire life to them, whether it be Gon or Alluka, is unhealthy. But I think this reflects that Killua is on the right path but still has a little more growth to do ! He still has to learn that while you can love your loved ones a lot, it's okay to be your own person independently from them. 

In short, Killua's relationship with Gon was unhealthy because Killua felt like it wasn't reciprocated and it led him to act in self-destructive ways. With Alluka, he knows it's unconditional love, and I think this is the push he needs to learn his worth and learn how to love himself completely. Something he sadly couldn't do around Gon, because of his self-worth issues. 

For the second part of your ask, like I said, Gon hasn't been replaced imo.... Different types of love once again. But I think most people don't like the idea of Gon meeting someone new for a few reasons. First, we all know no one can compare to Killua for Gon. Like, Killua is the best friend Gon could ever possibly have made, and no matter who he meets, it'll never run as deep as what he has with Killua. Second, I think the main point of Gon being separated from Killua and being alone on Whale Island, stuck with his thoughts and left to ponder on the "something more important than the thing you're hunting could be right there by the side of the road" line is to open the door to feelings realization. I think, narratively speaking, it's meant to let Gon realize how much Killua means to him. And meeting someone new would defeat that narrative.... Gon is being set to reflect on how much Killua means to him and exactly what he lost, so he can truly appreciate Killua fully the next time they meet. That's why to me, it wouldn't be a good writing choice to let Gon meet someone else right now. Because the focus right now is on how he feels towards Killua ! 

Ty for this ask tho, this was fun to reply to! And sorry for the delay, like I said i had mush brain for a while :(

[twilightofthe]

So...about that Obitine Anidala rant. Also, you said something about how Sidious and Obi-Wan are foils. I would love it if you elaborate. (Also, I love your blog.)

Awwwww thank you anon!  I just be yelling on here!

*wheezes* okie doke!  Tho I stress that this won’t exactly be a rant because I adore Obitine and Anidala and rant kinda implies aggression towards them, this is more of just a long-ass ramble because while I love them, I don’t always love the way canon portrays them in the narrative, particularly in relationship to each other, because I often do not feel that what the show is trying to push us to think about them is accurate to how they actually act and come across.  Notably, the show attempts to draw comparisons to the two relationships that really don’t exist below surface level similarities.  Again, these are my own personal opinions, and in fact, I welcome discussion!  I truly do!  Please politely debate me on this if you disagree!

(god dammit it got long again, so long I’ll actually put ur Sidious and Obi Wan as foils part in a separate post)

I’ll get to why exactly the show compares the relationships very strangely in a moment, but first we gotta explore the reason why it does this in the first place, which is that the Clone Wars show has decided to make Obi Wan and Anakin narrative foils to one another.  Narrative foils, by the literary definition, are two characters that contrast one another.  They don’t have to be the protagonist and the antagonist, these characters can be on the same side, basically the thing is that they have “opposite” personalities where if one character is hot, the other is cold, if one character chooses to go right, the other will go left.  It’s usually used to show one character’s qualities as more favorable for the situation as opposed to anyone else’s.

TCW does this whenever they possibly can with Anakin and Obi Wan.  I get its reasoning behind it.  I do.  The reasoning is that while Anakin is supposed to be a main character, he makes questionable decisions quite often and for the kiddies watching, those decisions must be seen as Bad even if the hero does it, so they have Obi Wan, the unquestionable good guy, encounter the exact same scenarios Anakin makes his questionable decisions in, and then has Obi Wan make the Right(TM) decision to teach the kids a valuable lesson.  They turn Obi Wan into the voice of reason for the entire show, which turns basically almost everything Obi Wan and Anakin do into a constant competition in the narrative in a way the movies do not do (and I’ll get to the movies later).  I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, making them foils, but it’s definitely more of a show-only thing and it does it quite, quite often.

So yeah, TCW likes to compare Obi Wan and Anakin to the point that sometimes they try and use Obi Wan to diminish Anakin’s genuine trauma and struggles by going “well why didn’t you do it like THIS?” and I think that writing parallel plotlines for the purpose of shaming/criticism is kinda ://////, but that’s another rant for another day that again, if y’all wanna hear about, lmk

Anyway, the need to compare them absolutely made its way into their romantic relationships as well, as they acknowledge the similarities in the show, and Filoni and the crew explicitly compare the two relationships in interviews.

Basically my problem with how they try and draw said parallels can be boiled down to one quote by Filoni that a cursory Google search could not find but I know exists so y’all can take my word or not, that went along the lines of “Obi Wan and Satine are like Anakin and Padmé but better because they know how to stay unattached and let each other go.  They’re a success story.”  I disagreed with this quote so much it inspired me to write a whole-ass fic about it (Mutuals update: yes, it is coming soon, Darth Maul is just himself and therefore an utter pain in the ass to do a POV on and is fighting me like the bitchass he is)

My thesis that I will be arguing today is that while TCW tried to create Obitine as an Anidala parallel, they’re really not similar in the way the writers think they are.  Obitine is not a success story to Anidala, they’re a goddamn tragedy too; the real parallel to Anidala is that Obitine also ended in death and tears despite making all the “right” decisions instead of all the “wrong” ones, and that is what is sad about them.

Like, on the surface level?  Yeah, the crew-intended parallels are there.  A fancy politician and a Jedi get together after the Jedi is assigned as the politician’s bodyguard.  The first time they see each other in over a decade the guy’s first words are basically “damn girl you’re still hot”, there is Conflict(TM) and the choice to try and be together or stay yearningly apart because they are Forbidden(TM) to be together, and ultimately a Sith Lord fucks them both over because he’s obsessed with the Jedi and uses Politician Lady to his advantage, finds and exploits a vulnerability of hers, destroys her life’s work, and then lets her die to make Jedi Man sad.  The difference is all that one pair said “yeah we aren’t gonna break the rules to be together” and the other said “fuck it yeah we are, let’s do this”

But beneath all of that, they real similarities are different and not at all focused on by the narrative.  Obi Wan and Anakin are extremely different people, as are Padmé and Satine, so their relationship dynamics together will not be the same.  You want to try and compare Obi Wan and Anakin and then compare Satine and Padmé like the crew attempts to, and you can’t, they have the same job but not nearly the same life.  Namely, the funny coincidence is that Obi Wan and Padmé are much more similar in personality, while Anakin and Satine are also much more similar in personality, so the first time they meet again, it’s both Anakin and Satine as the one who’s been pining for over a decade and the one more actively pursuing the relationship, while Obi Wan and Padmé who are more like “uh, hi, wow, you’re hot and this is a Problem because I have a job to do pls don’t look at me like that but also I will Cause Problems On Purpose and flirt with you anyway because I can’t help it”.  I get the Corruption TCW ep with Sati and Pads was mostly intended just to help Satine pass the Bechdel test and also show how similar the two leading lady love interests are, but it was a genuinely creative episode that actually ended up showing how much Satine and Padmé compliment each other instead of mirroring each other, much like Obi Wan and Anakin do.

And, onto my next point, despite the character parallels being wrong, the parallels in the relationship are different too.  Like I said, the parallel isn’t that Obi Wan and Satine aren’t attached like Anakin and Padmé are.  The parallel is that Obitine is actively running from what that attachment means instead of embracing it like Anidala is.  The show would argue that since they try to avoid it, that they are able to live without one another, means they aren’t attached like the Jedi define it, but I argue that they definitely still are attached to a degree because they cannot give each other up.  They held torches for each other from a timerange of 15 YEARS.  Yes I know they spent an entire year together at a young and emotionally volatile point in their lives, but I stand that NO ONE is that hung up on their ex for that long unless there is some serious emotions involved.  Anakin was hung up on Padmé for ten years, and that was because Palpatine was constantly bolstering those affections and reminding him of Padmé.  Obes and Sati both-- or at least Satine, the show always makes Obi Wan’s feelings for Satine in return much more vague --held on to their feelings for five years longer without the influence of a Sith Lord.

And the thing is, they know it.  Obi Wan and Satine are both fully aware that they haven’t been able to shake each other off like they should and that that is a Problem, that’s why they’re both a mite venomous with each other beneath the flirting at first, they’re both extremely frustrated with themselves for not being able to get over this thing they have, and frustrated with the other for being there as an active temptation.

And yet, they still are attached to each other.  They try to avoid it, they definitely try, and that’s what makes them different from Anidala, but they are definitely still attached.  You can see it in Obi Wan’s actions in Voyage of Temptation when Merrik is threatening to blow the ship, the way he hesitates in attacking him because that would be “striking an unarmed man”.  Obi Wan Kenobi does not prefer violence, no, but he has never hesitated to cut a bitch before if it’s for the good of the many.  This is the man who stabbed someone with a fork and threatened to eat him just to maintain his cover as a dangerous criminal.  This is the guy who had no problem killing Zam Wessel for information to protect Padmé.  This is a pragmatist who prefers peaceful solutions, but he does not hesitate if he feels it is a justified offense.  But this time, when an entire shipful of people is at risk, Obi Wan hesitates.  Because he doesn’t want to upset Satine.  Because he’s probably thinking on how she told him that if he had killed the last terrorist they encountered, she wouldn’t speak to him, how she had criticized every time he used violence to escape Death Watch before.  He hesitates because he’s putting her happiness, just for a second, over the sake of duty.  Do I think that if Anakin hadn’t shown up to save their moral compasses, Obi Wan would have eventually taken out Merrik?  Absolutely; hell, I honestly think Satine might have done it.

But the matter was, Merrik could have pressed the kill switch any second of Obi Wan’s hesitation, and Obi Wan knew that, and was hesitating anyway.

I am calling this attachment solely because if the situation was reversed, if this was Anakin and Padmé in this situation, with Anakin not taking out a dangerous criminal because he doesn’t want to upset Padmé (lol ignoring the fact that Pads 1000% would have shot that bitch, and even if she didn’t, Anakin would because he is perfectly fine with hurting his loved ones’ feelings if he feels it’ll keep them safe), god, the narrative would have eaten Anakin alive.  

No, I won’t take criticism.  I know how the show handles the Anidala dynamic.  It would have shown Obi Wan popping up to take out the baddie as him doing the right thing and saving the day, and then Anakin would have been shamed for letting his feelings for his wife get in the way of protecting a shipful of people.  THAT would be the Vader foreshadowing, none of this “only a cold-blooded killer” shit, no way would they ever stick that label on Obi Wan.

So yeah, I’m going off of the fact that if that would have been classified as attachment for Anidala-- which, it would, then. it counts for Obitine.

And then Obi Wan and Satine continue to be hung up on each other for the rest of the eps they’re in, Satine saying in words multiple times how much she loves and cares about him and wishes things could be different, and Obi Wan performing it in actions, risking his own neck and political standing to help her even when she’s a fugitive, probably personally putting in to send his own grandpadawan to help her later.  Right up to the time when Satine decides that she is going to call Obi Wan when she is deposed.  Not the Senate.  Not any powerful politician friends.  Not even the Jedi Order or the Council as a whole.  She calls and addresses her distress call to Obi Wan alone.  And Obi Wan, as now revealed to us by TCW S7, defies Council orders and breaks a century old neutrality treaty to try and bust her, a convicted murderer in the eyes of the Republic and Mandalore, out.  He didn’t even know Maul had her.  Just knew she was in danger and came running to her aid.  He risks starting a potential war to come save her.  They acted so in love that Vizsla was able to guess from being around them for like five seconds, and was able to tell Maul exactly who he would need to bait Obi Wan.

That is where the attachment comes from.  It’s the fact that Obi Wan and Satine tried so, so hard to give each other up and do the right thing, but when it came down to it, they couldn’t lose the other one so they put them first when logically they shouldn’t.  And thus, Satine ended up dead.

Now I know most people will argue with me that actually Filoni means that since they didn’t stay together after the year on the run, THAT is what makes them able to give each other up, and also the fact that Obi Wan didn’t go dark side and murder everyone when Satine died.

But I still think that at least the murder front is a fairly low bar to cross, and anyway, that just because they could live without each other didn’t mean they weren’t still attached.  Anakin and Padmé were apart for 10 years and then even after that, they were apart almost constantly during the war.  Just because they could live apart or even past the other’s death didn’t mean they weren’t attached, as they both still had not let the other go mentally and also broke rules to try and ensure the other would not die, even if the rules said they should let it happen.

So yeah, that’s my big theory.  We can’t compare Obitine with Anidala by saying Obitine was a success story, we compare them by acknowledging that both struggled with attachments and letting the other go, but Obitine at least tried to the bitter end to do the right thing while Anidala didn’t really bother, and both ended up with dead women and broken men regardless, and that is the true sad parallel to me.

[literaphobe]

wanna know your reasons for loving each part in KF! if it's possible

me: sorry for being narcissistic :(

you, my beloved most treasured anon: do it again :)

anyway yes absolutely i will do this. best question ever. here is why i love each part of kissing fic

part 1: adora sees two people kissing and she has no idea what that is. it’s like. that adhd thing where sometimes everyone knows about a thing that you had no idea even existed. i don’t know how to explain it with myself but i transferred this feeling onto adora with her being so focused on training that she doesn’t see such a thing until she stumbles upon it. and then she shows catra and catra explains it to her but oh wow! catra has also never kissed anyone before! she sort of knows how a kiss works tho. adora asking catra why people kiss, and catra telling her that it’s because kissing feels good, causing adora to suggest they try it out for themselves... one funny thing i liked about their first kiss is that catra pulls away because adora forgets to kiss back, she gets so lost in catra’s lips on hers that she forgets she’s meant to do something too. but then they try it again and <3

part 2: they hit this honeymoon stage with their new little shared hobby!! it’s like they’ll sneak around and be playful with the kisses, they’ll kiss each other in bed, when there’s no one else around in the locker room, quick sneaky kisses when they’re walking down an empty corridor. and then u have their showers together. it’s that thing when u and ur friend do... intimate things and you don’t know if you’re supposed to be doing any of these things you just know it feels good somehow and neither of you are saying anything so you just keep doing it u know. which is what happens here with the showers. all adora knows is that she likes it and she gets this feeling that she wants something more somehow but she doesn’t want to do anything that catra won’t do. and then adora sees those two girls who were kissing get punished and separated for it. and it’s that Fear y’know? of oh wait so what i thought was good and what i loved so much is supposedly wrong.... and adora puts an end to it all and catra disagrees. she gets upset that adora wants to stop despite the explanations about how shadow weaver could catch them. catra is fixated on how adora seems to be afraid of getting caught. for catra, “the worst that could happen has already happened” in that shadow weaver has hurt her in so many ways that she thinks sneaking around and kissing adora can make up for all the pain. that it’s worth it. it hurts her that adora supposedly won’t take that risk for fear of losing shadow weaver’s favor. she selectively focuses on that and thinks that adora thinks kissing is bad and wrong because shadow weaver punished those girls for it. and she is partially right, because adora wonders out loud for a moment if catra lied about kissing before when she said it wasn’t weird. but she takes it back because she now knows that even if kissing is bad she still wants to kiss catra. for adora, continuing to kiss catra is out of the question, because “the worst that could happen could still happen” and catra did not see what happened to those girls like she did, and she is desperate to protect catra. to not lose catra. it is only by making that clear that she gets catra to stay. and they dream about getting posted far away from the fright zone so they can kiss without worry. they even do the whole ‘you promise?’ thing again. but then adora finds the sword

part three: the thing about the first time adora asks catra to come with her in the universe of kissing fic is that. adora cannot understand why catra would refuse her. she promised to find them a way to leave and go far away where they won’t get caught and can kiss in peace, and now that she knows the horde is evil the safe place where they can do this is the rebellion. but catra does not see it that way. she thinks adora wanted to leave the horde and join the rebellion because of these random people she just met, and that she, catra, is an afterthought. and therefore this means adora lied somehow and that their kisses meant a lot more to catra than it did to adora. adora also learns a lot about what kissing really means. she doesn’t think about it a lot pre-sword because she was always so wrapped up in the moment, or she was refusing to think about it during the time when they stopped kissing. and glimmer finds out adora kissed catra, and was also very oblivious about the implications of that. she tells adora to go read a book <3 fksjdjddjdjjd ok like she tells adora she needs sex ed and. let me drop apsa’s react to this it’s my fave thing:

anyway. catra finds adora in the courtyard because she was scouting the place for a kidnap plan. but she sees adora there looking so pretty and she cannot help herself. the scene like happens but the point of it is that catra has no idea what she is doing here and adora doesn’t want catra to leave. they kiss but catra thinks it’s an act of manipulation on adora’s part, causing her to leave in anger because she thinks the manipulation works, because catra was this close to staying, and it causes her to plan what she does in princess prom. she tries to manipulate and distract adora too because she thinks that while adora doesn’t love her the same way, she’s...... whore knee. KFKSJDJD

part four: this takes place literally in s4 so yes i just skip over s2 and s3 and pretend everything there happens the Same.... the point here is that catra and adora are.... suffering so much. catra is losing herself, barely sleeping, having nightmares, and she slips into some of her basest urges. she goes where she wants to be, which is why she breaks into adora’s room. adora on the other hand has ‘given up’ on catra, which takes a toll on her, because resigning herself to the reality that catra will never change and will always be her enemy is breaking her. she has lost all hope she ever had seasons 1-3. top that off with how strained her relationship with glimmer is, how she blames herself for angella’s loss, how the horde is winning and nothing she’s doing seems to be working.... yeah. so when catra appears out of nowhere and disarms her and holds her own pillow dagger to her throat adora thinks maybe she should just let catra kill her and all her problems will somehow be solved. but then catra cannot kill her. catra tosses the dagger away and lets adora go. and adora immediately gets smug about it. u know. because she’s adora. and then catra kisses her... and yeah. it doesn’t end well </3

part 5: just the whole.... they could full on sleep together and yet adora can’t tell catra she loves her because she’s afraid catra won’t say it back. also entrapta. love how she barges in and is like lmaooo where my tools at!! oh fuck what y’all doing on the floor? oh it’s because u don’t have chairs? not because you were making out on the floor? that tracks!

[unethicalexperiments]

so i’ve been asked by several ppl on why i’ve been so quiet lately about the new gd things going on so i’m gonna say some things right now and y’all are welcome to disagree w me and voice your own opinions, but these are mine and as of right now i’m sticking by them

i’ve been a hardcore gd fan since around 2012/2013, which compared to some of you may not be that long, but i’ve been here for a good minute. while they currently aren’t the band that i would call my “favorite”, they are (and no matter what, always will be) the most important band to me. gd has shaped me into the person i am today, opened countless doors for me into music of all types, and i’ve made plenty of really good friends thru them. in 2014, i stood in line for several hours to get a copy of demolicious on record store day. in 2016 i skipped class to make sure i got myself tickets for the club tour. even last year i weaseled my way in to a small bar in downtown manhattan to see the longshot. there’s a lot of other things i could list, but i feel like y’all get the idea. no matter what, they’re very important to me. 

so why have i been quiet? honestly, i don’t really care. i’m not sure what to attribute that to exactly, but i’ve been sitting back and more or less just watching these past several weeks. and what i’ve witnessed while sitting back made me really fuckin upset. the behavior of some of the people in this community (some of it on tumblr but mainly other websites (e.g. reddit, facebook)) is absolutely astounding. the way some people reacted to a song they didn’t particularly like? it really just left me speechless for a minute. here’s the thing though: everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether or not you necessarily agree with it. 

you’re welcome to not like the song or the album artwork or whatever, you’re welcome to like it. if you don’t like it, don’t buy the album, don’t go to the shows, no one is making you do any of those things. personally i ordered the vinyl as i do still collect them occasionally but i’m not going to any of the shows. gd is not a punk band, they haven’t been since 1994. they’re millionaires nearing their 50′s. things change, unfortunately. and on top of all of that, i still firmly believe that this album is more or less a joke album. there’s a post here somewhere with the detailed info that i’ll link if i remember to later. while gd put out songs like coming clean and jesus of suburbia, they also put out songs like nightlife and all by myself. this isn’t the first time they’ve done something weird/stupid/different/etc. and i feel like thats something that we (myself included) all need to remember.

in conclusion, basically, you’re entitled to your opinion but remember that your opinion isn’t everyone’s opinion. i think, sorry i kinda ran away with this. i hope it makes sense & i got at least some sort of point across. so yeah. i’ve been watching from the sidelines and i’m not really liking what i’m watching (and i mean that both towards the community and the band). along with all that, personally, i’m an adult in college who works and i’m still in the process of recovering from an illness that nearly killed me, so that’s kind of where i’ve been. i may come back and be more active with actual original content at some point, but don’t expect it to be any time soon. i do appreciate those of you who have stuck around, tho. it does mean a lot to me.

[bombshellsandbluebells]

I mean, Look at Clarkes,Bellamys and Ravens faces when he starts breathing again, they all looked relieved(Clarke even looked happy). Bellamy and Emori were definitely concerned when they were both taking blame for his death. When Murphy woke up, Emori hugged him and Clarke and abby watched for afar, Abby reassured Clarke that he will be okay because she looked worried. the Murphy and Abby content was great as usual, loved the Murphamy scene at the end and the Murven one, even tho it was rushed

Hey! Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave this unanswered for so long.

I think we’re just going to disagree on this and that’s ok. I’m trying to figure out how to put my problem into words. There are little moments meant to show emotions and there are actually character interactions I like in theory. I love the Emori/Raven hug. The Raven/Murphy dialogue on script feels very in-character. And the Bellamy/Murphy scene at the end is the one that works the BEST for me and feels the most in-character - and it turns out it was completely improvised by the actors who know their characters better, not written in the script or dictated by the director. 

But no one is actually acting the way they really would if someone they cared very much about had died. 

There are little reactions to it - it isn’t COMPLETELY ignored by the writing - but there is no realistic emotional reaction, likely because the episode is moving SO QUICKLY to get through so much plot, giving the actors space to react was an afterthought. 

Bellamy and Murphy have lived together for 6 years now, and they care about each other. That’s been obvious this whole season and last. And yet the MOST reaction we get from Bellamy in the moment is one little shot of him sniffing. He’s not moving. He’s not running for Murphy. He’s not even yelling at anyone to do anything, something I would expect Bellamy to do. One shot of him sniffling. He’s not even fully crying or looking distraught! There’s more emotion in his face last episode when Echo’s telling her story - now, granted, that is his girlfriend sharing a horrible story with him, BUT, Murphy is also a close friend and Bellamy was told he was DEAD. I would expect SOMETHING MORE FROM HIM.

If you tell someone who’s never acted before to “look sad,” chances are you’re going to get a very basic ‘sad’ reaction: they’ll frown, maybe scrunch up their eyebrows, maybe sniffle a bit. But the problem is that’s not an accurate depiction of how someone acts when they’re upset or distraught. A better ‘sad’ reaction is different for every character, based in the character’s traits and how they tend to react to things. No one here is acting in-character - they’re all acting at that same basic “sad” reaction. I would expect Raven and Bellamy - two people who tend to react with a LOT of loud emotional outbursts and a lot of anger - to do SOMETHING more than stand there and look a little upset.

At the very least, I would expect one of them to yell, “DO SOMETHING!” 

And this isn’t saying that Lindsey and Bob aren’t CAPABLE of better acting. Because they have proven over and over again that they are. I’m saying that the blocking (the staging of actors in the scene and the direction of their movements) and the directing probably KEPT THEM FROM DOING SO. It feels like the director was more focused on quickly moving through the scene than letting it linger on character’s actual reactions to what was happening.

I mean we as an audience probably guessed that it wasn’t the real end for Murphy, but in that moment, none of the characters knew Murphy was going to live. And yet no one reacts to that more than a few sad faces. This is all we get of Bellamy:

It’s an….okay sad face, but there isn’t a whole lot of depth to his reaction. AND the camera is cutting around so much and so quickly that we only actually get to see this shot for a handful of seconds, which doesn’t actually give the audience much time to feel any emotion about it. (The editing of this scene is also a big problem.)

And we don’t even GET a reaction from Raven - the other person in that scene who we know from last season cares the most about him. (Clarke might want him to live in that scene because otherwise he died saving her, but she’s also not very close with him. So why are we focusing so much on HER reactions instead of the other’s with closer relationships with him?)

Raven even just lost Shaw. I find it incredibly hard to believe that she wouldn’t be acting more distraught after being told that a friend she’s cared deeply about for years was dead. And that’s throughout the episode. She might look slightly relieved afterwards, but then she….never appears concerned about him again? She never checks on him to make sure he’s okay? Compare that to last season when they were tortured together and she was very concerned about him.

All the characters act as if they think it’s temporary, not as if they have really just been told someone they care about is dead.

And even the shots of relief we get are pretty shallow. Yes, they’re THERE, but there just isn’t enough to feel genuine.

That’s all we get. No running to him in joy. No hugging him. No “oh thank god.” Just Raven and Bellamy stuck in place like they can’t move (because the blocking has told them to stay on their mark, probably) and not saying anything. Again - bad directing, not on the actors who can and have done better.

And afterwards, even though we get moments, the episode is too focused on plot. We have no time to feel the WEIGHT of the fact that Murphy temporarily died - aside from the scene with Abby, which I didn’t have a problem with. Even Raven’s interaction at the end bothered me, because while the words themselves sound very in-character for that dynamic, the fact that they’re said while Raven looks completely unbothered about it makes it read like RAVEN JUST DOESN’T CARE that he almost died. 

The moments are there, but they just feel like bullet points the episode has to get through, rather than genuine, in-character reactions to what has just happened. And because the episode gives us very short shots of emotional reactions or very short interactions and then immediately jumps back into a new plot point, I can’t actually emotionally connect with what’s happening.

If you enjoyed the episode that’s great! And i don’t want to tell you not to. 

But I’ve watched this episode twice (and this scene now three times) and I absolutely can not stand how it was put together. Murphy temporarily dying amongst people who care about him and are upset about it SHOULD have been a moment I absolutely loved, but instead everyone felt wooden and fake and I couldn’t enjoy it at all. :/

[purpleiv]

Been thinking about how when i want someone to like me I’m less my self I get passive and quit in hopes that will make someone like me because of less conflict but you know I heard this quote just now “it is a disservice to anyone around for you to not be your authentic self”

And that’s true like if people can’t scope you out as a person you don’t know if the connection you have with them is real or not, time can be wasted on trying to figure someone out when you can be honest about it even though it’s scary and vulnerable

Personal relationships are the fabric of my life and I have built my goals and dreams on top of it, it’s been hard to be true to myself knowing I have to sacrifice certain relationships and comforts for it but then that goes to my original point that you are putting conditions on someone loving you only if you act a certain way and nobody deserves that (I am speaking of a general acceptance of you as a whole person for having emotions, if someone is treating you in a way you don’t like you can absolutely set boundaries, emotions vs behaviors)

People close to you are allowed to disagree with you be upset and angry with you as long as they can express that in a way that is not harmful, when it does then that’s when you have to speak up but being yourself in the first place let’s those people know, esp new people getting to know you, what you’re all about

I will not and do not walk on eggshells I can not live that way, the metaphor of a seed forcing its self through dirt rings true to me right now, even tho that’s cliche or whatever I feel it

It’s hard to change a fixed mindset you have or change a behavior to better yourself and often we all wait to the last minute or last straw to get to work on it but this thought is just the first step I will have to put into action which is always confusing because it’s an unknown path but I know what I want

I want my relationships to feel real and open and vulnerable, despite the fears of being hurt

Over this semester I felt like I have gotten good at notgoving up (mostly to difficult assignments) I’d say it’s a new day and I can work on this just for today, (something that was really hard to do! I had change my defeating attitude (a constant work in progress, don’t think I still don’t struggle with this I just have gotten a tiny bit better but still have my days) to I think I could and can and will do this) when it comes to your life and retreating into your shell to protect yourself it often takes guts and struggle to get what you want but you know you’re why you know that you are capable and so you try (since being out of school I have relaxed on regulating my thoughts so I feel like I am slipping but I’m not I’m just going through life it’s not always climbing up levels often it is climbing up being pushed back down and having to get up again to get to the same spot that you were in or reinventing a completely new spot)

Do not tell yourself, this is how I am this is how I was raised this is how I am because people have treated me badly, no, it’s a choice where you go from now and it’s overwhelming but you got today and that’s all you need to focus on