Fe Aspec Week Day 1: Coming Out
WOO It's aspec week time!! 💜💚 To no one's surprise I'm starting off with Lukas :3 I know we have the wonderful support convo when he and Python sort of come out to each other, but I was always curious about the loose ends that it brings up -- how he comes out to/is treated by his family, the woman he's left behind, his fellow nobles, etc. This drabble doesn't really answer any of those questions sadfsadf but it's coming from that thought 😂
Father,
I am writing to you now, so soon after my previous letter, as there is something I have yet to confess. It may be difficult for you to hear, but
The sentence stops abruptly, a small dab of ink at the corner of the ‘t’ where the pen had rested a moment in contemplation.
A man sits back at his at a desk. His candle illuminates the page, displaying a few brief lines at the top. He dips his pen in ink time and time again, but the page remains mostly empty.
At first, the man believes his problem to be a lack of words. No title exists for men like him. He’s well-educated and well-connected in the army; he has an extensive vocabulary for how the upper and lower class categorizes its people. Whether it’s a scholar’s dull terminology, vulgar common language insults, or the carefully chosen phrasing of a gossiper, none of the usual descriptors fit him. All he has are the distantly connected criticisms he’d heard his whole life: “heartless,” “cold,” “detached.”
When the candle burns lower, however, he realizes the real issue. He has far too many words.
Where would he even start? Should he describe his contentment with his life here? How not one of his fellows ever brought up the lack of a woman at his arm, or how dinners with the King and Queen themselves were filled with pleasantries that never touched on his romantic endeavors? Whatever his father had been preparing for, it had never come.
Or should he begin earlier, when he was first accepted by this group of people? He wasn’t sure if he could properly convey all that he experienced on that fateful night, speaking softly with the unit’s archer – a man he’d come to call one of his truest friends. The man had heard for the first time in his life that there were others like him. He heard that they were content. They were whole.
He could go back further and describe the moment that the realization first hit him. How his father had been right in a sense. Just as he said, one day when the man was grown, he would be in the arms of another, and everything about himself would suddenly make sense. There was only one difference. He’d been forced to bury that clarity, since it wasn’t the same kind that everyone else came to.
Or should he start even further back? He could recount all little hints that haunted him across his youth. His dreams for the future never quite aligned with those of his peers. Nothing ever seemed to align. His choice of stories to read, of games to play, of jokes to make. He wouldn’t ever claim he was mistreated as a child, but everyone would agree that the signs had appeared even then.
The man sighs. Where is the beginning, when one has always been this way?
The clock strikes on the hour. It is late, and he will need to be at his sharpest tomorrow for drills and meetings. He has no more time to fret over words about his past.
The man tries a new method, and wonders what his friends may write about him. He can’t resist a dry smile. He knows that he can never, under any circumstance, allow them to exchange any correspondence with his family.
But the exercise gives him an idea.
He writes out a single statement. Then he blows out the candle and heads to his bed.
there is nothing broken about me.
Cordially,
Lukas
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Hey, so like, there was this post earlier that said “Nonverbal Bloodmoon” and I saw it and reblogged it and, uh, it wouldn’t leave my head
I made a bunch of doodles of my two technically nonverbal Bloodmoons
Yeah
First off, Fang! Dear beloved. The ability to mimic voices is one Fang has but words are rather tricky, even more so when the only frame of reference there was for a long time was in vaguely Shakespearean English. Fang is basically a weird fusion of a cat and a dog, communicates mostly through body language, and is also incredibly physically clingy on account of being essentially blind in most situations. The second picture features Fang’s twin, Scythe.
And then there’s Bloody. The not-so-silly-anymore boy. Bloody does have the ability to talk, they actually do talk sometimes even, they just don’t usually do it. The reasons for this are a bit hard to explain, the bottom line is that it’s a trauma response, selectively mute if you want an actual term. He’s the more expressive of the twins and already had a bunch of little things he did before shit went down, and afterwards he’s still rather expressive if less impulsive and energetic. They too are clingy but instead of sticking to the person they’re clingy towards they will have a thing that reminds them of the person and hold it for a while. Harvest makes a little cameo here, questioning Bloody’s clothing choices.
And now their dynamic being friends. Communication between them is hard. Neither talks, Fang can’t see, when Fang can see Bloody isn’t in a good space to talk, there’s plenty of challenges to their friendship. But they can deal with those, Fang has some pretty good hearing and smell and Bloody isn’t exactly the quietest walker with all the random things he carries, Bloody can often guess the mood Fang is on by looking at their tail movements, and for direct communication Bloody will usually spell words out on Fang’s hand (yes Fang actually knows the alphabet and the letters, just can’t pronounce them)
Pictured above is a situation I can summarize like this:
PROTECT FRIEND
*makes friend uncomfortable*
I AM A FAILURE
And them officially becoming friends :3
Bonus doodles :3
(Still workshopping their color palettes, was very close to giving Bloody a blue shirt but remembered they don’t like blue, and Fang feels a bit dull :P)
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@sith-shenanigans Hope you don't mind, moving this onto it's own post since that post was getting pretty long
Honestly I really like your take on this, I can absolutely see that. I mean gosh, this leaves me wondering how many years its been? How old is October now vs then? When did they meet? My questions about the dynamic between them only grows, but this is an incredibly plausible for a reading here.
May seeing October traped with in parabola and being one of the few still in frequent contact with her by the dreams.... October seeing May make the same stubborn mistakes over and over again, growing older herself and seeing him as more and more fallible. Augh this breaks my heart (having a fantastic time here).
Yes yes yes yes yes thats exactly the way I interpert him as well. I mean, think about it. He's so, so old, he's watched so many people, so many cities, long past his own, come and go and fade to dust. How on earth could you view people the same after that? How do you continue to interact with people, remember that they are people, and not just specs of dust who will fade.
Yes May is manipulative, and possessive, and stubborn, and many other things. He has so so so many issues.... but he's also just a very sad old man who doesnt know how to view others on the same level anymore, and its so so tragic.
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