#euphoria or self-discovery

[good-beanswrites]

Fe Aspec Week Day 1: Coming Out

WOO It's aspec week time!! 💜💚 To no one's surprise I'm starting off with Lukas :3 I know we have the wonderful support convo when he and Python sort of come out to each other, but I was always curious about the loose ends that it brings up -- how he comes out to/is treated by his family, the woman he's left behind, his fellow nobles, etc. This drabble doesn't really answer any of those questions sadfsadf but it's coming from that thought 😂

Father,

I am writing to you now, so soon after my previous letter, as there is something I have yet to confess. It may be difficult for you to hear, but

The sentence stops abruptly, a small dab of ink at the corner of the ‘t’ where the pen had rested a moment in contemplation.

A man sits back at his at a desk. His candle illuminates the page, displaying a few brief lines at the top. He dips his pen in ink time and time again, but the page remains mostly empty. 

At first, the man believes his problem to be a lack of words. No title exists for men like him. He’s well-educated and well-connected in the army; he has an extensive vocabulary for how the upper and lower class categorizes its people. Whether it’s a scholar’s dull terminology, vulgar common language insults, or the carefully chosen phrasing of a gossiper, none of the usual descriptors fit him. All he has are the distantly connected criticisms he’d heard his whole life: “heartless,” “cold,” “detached.” 

When the candle burns lower, however, he realizes the real issue. He has far too many words.

Where would he even start? Should he describe his contentment with his life here? How not one of his fellows ever brought up the lack of a woman at his arm, or how dinners with the King and Queen themselves were filled with pleasantries that never touched on his romantic endeavors? Whatever his father had been preparing for, it had never come.

Or should he begin earlier, when he was first accepted by this group of people? He wasn’t sure if he could properly convey all that he experienced on that fateful night, speaking softly with the unit’s archer – a man he’d come to call one of his truest friends. The man had heard for the first time in his life that there were others like him. He heard that they were content. They were whole.

He could go back further and describe the moment that the realization first hit him. How his father had been right in a sense. Just as he said, one day when the man was grown, he would be in the arms of another, and everything about himself would suddenly make sense. There was only one difference. He’d been forced to bury that clarity, since it wasn’t the same kind that everyone else came to.

Or should he start even further back? He could recount all little hints that haunted him across his youth. His dreams for the future never quite aligned with those of his peers. Nothing ever seemed to align. His choice of stories to read, of games to play, of jokes to make. He wouldn’t ever claim he was mistreated as a child, but everyone would agree that the signs had appeared even then.

The man sighs. Where is the beginning, when one has always been this way? 

The clock strikes on the hour. It is late, and he will need to be at his sharpest tomorrow for drills and meetings. He has no more time to fret over words about his past. 

The man tries a new method, and wonders what his friends may write about him. He can’t resist a dry smile. He knows that he can never, under any circumstance, allow them to exchange any correspondence with his family. 

But the exercise gives him an idea.

He writes out a single statement. Then he blows out the candle and heads to his bed. 

there is nothing broken about me.

Cordially,

Lukas

[laralagata]

I have a special interest in winds. Admittedly, my special interest in winds might be considered a fetish, but I'm proud of it because of how it really shapes my self-identity. Without a doubt, I probably wouldn't have discovered that I'm trans without this fetish. Wearing a skirt and having Marilyn Monroe moments just gives me gender euphoria.

I feel validated that I'm not the only one who has a special interest like mine. Especially when it's queer people. It's interesting how I used to be so scared of storms, but now I have a full on special interest in it. I really can't help but love how the winds make me feel and how they helped me find myself, even if it's weird. I still love the freeing feeling it gives. Like, as if I escaped to another place with no worries.

Windy days (even strong ones) will keep giving me euphoria and escapism, for as long as I live as a carefree girl who loves to wear flowy clothes. I love struggling to stand, I love having my hair blown, I love my clothes fluttering, and I love this feeling that it'll always give me. I love windy days and I love being trans. I wonder if anyone else here on Tumblr has this special interest or has gotten the same euphoric feeling with it.

[silly-lil-scribbles]

hmmmmmm after careful consideration it is very possible that i might be a therian

[transtalesofdoom]

The Ghost in the Mirror: Coming out to Myself

continued from here; long post about realizing I was trans all along. It's a good read, 4 out of 5 stars, recommend.

During the second half of 2023, I tried a different name. Just with my close friends and online, to see how it felt. Not even really for gender reasons, just because a strained relationship with my mother made me dislike my given name. At least that's what I told myself, and to this day I don't know if that was true or not.

Christmas that year was stressful. I spent it at my grandmas and interacted way too much with my family. On the 28th, in between Christmas and New Years, I was up in the guest bathroom, brushing my teeth way too late at night. I looked up at the mirror - and the person I saw was a man.

This had never happened before. There was nothing different about my appearance. I'd had short hair plenty of times before, and the current haircut wasn't recent, either. I had always seen myself in the mirror, and every flaw that came with it. The weird, mostly cis woman shaped blob of mismatched features. But not that night. Not in that very moment.

The person in the mirror was, undeniably, me. But a guy. A dude. A man. I was scared to blink or look away, just in case the moment would pass. I tilted my head. Turned it left and right. After a while, I dare to pull faces and ruffle my hair to change the perception of myself. It stays a dude. At the most extreme, I manage 'genderless bog witch caught at unflattering angle'. But it's still a guy.

And as I look at this version of myself, that looks no different than I usually do, and yet is completely different, it all falls into place. The new name I've been trying, it's the wrong one. The guy in the mirror has a different name, the other name I had been considering. The more masculine of the two.

But what's really, truly astounding, was my face. The same face I had scrutinized in the mirror so many times. The nose too big, the eyes too slim, the mouth too droopy. Until now. Now, out of nowhere, my face made sense. Everything had suddenly come together. This was my face. A guys face. And it looked exactly the way it was meant to be. It just made sense.

And that was the first time I felt gender euphoria.

Of course, finally realizing you're a dude brings a whole new set of questions. Especially if you're not of the binary variety. I'm going to fast-forward you to the conclusion of the next few months of questioning: Gender is unknowable, I trans-cend all mortal labels, but if I have to explain it, I typically go for "trans masculine" and/or "genderqueer", and yes I can still call myself "gay" when looking at women. Everything's gay with the right attitude.

[galacticscrotum]

You guys. I’m having realizations.

I’m connecting to this knowledge that I’ve had inside me but is just now finding its voice. I’m multigender. Genderfluid. Genderqueer. And my gender has nothing to do with my body. I can view my AFAB body as masculine or nonbinary or feminine regardless of its parts. The parts I have don’t make me masculine or feminine. I have three parts to me. I have Em, who is nonbinary. Gender does not matter to Em. Vikki is feminine, in a strong way that commands respect. Aries is masculine, respects the feminine deeply, and protects it. Today I am Aries. This is so interesting. Gender is all in my head. In my daily life, I’m a woman to the people around me. It’s too much work to explain my gender to non-queer people. And I really don’t have an opinion about it. It’s not like I need people to perceive me as my gender to be secure in it. When I am Aries, I typically don’t have dysphoria about my body because of the divine respect for the feminine. I just perceive my “feminine” body as masculine and carry myself as such. Doesn’t mean I’ll dress masc necessarily, just means I am. Aries is secure in his masculinity to the point where his physical expression does not threaten him. He knows he is masc, and that’s all that matters to him. I’m not transmasc I don’t think. I really enjoy my fem days, of which there are plenty more than masc days. And I love my “fuck gender” days where I am neither fem nor masc, and those days are even more frequent than fem or masc days combined. I’m always Em, but sometimes Vikki and sometimes Aries.

Thank you for reading this. That’s all the support I need on here, is to be heard. I love that I can express these parts of who I am on here. Because so many of you relate, and simply having common experiences with people is so validating.

[moe-broey]

Also so much psychic damage from opening ANYTHING personal on that phone like. Oufhhgh ... my old friend is in there. And also the very specific time period of my life Mani is based off of. YEEEOWCH!!!!

[writersarea]

Megamind's Envy

Overall Summary:

Megamind tries to understand his interest in the men he sees on TV until Minion helps him find proper understanding. (Can be read as a stand alone)

Rated Gen

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Megamind (Megamind), Minion (Megamind), Trans Megamind, Trans Male Character, Nonbinary Minion, Nonbinary Character, Self-Discovery, Gender Envy, Gender Identity,Queer Themes, envy - Freeform

Excerpt:

Moments where he saw men on TV were odd. Megamind rarely got to watch, of course, being in the prison, but he found their clothes fascinating.

Especially the villains. The morally grey characters. The characters that seemed to have a heart of gold hidden under all that leather, the ones that had love to make them stronger. The ones that kept it all under wraps to do what they had to do, even when they tried to take over the world.

With swishy coats and capes and boat loads of leather.

Megamind didn’t understand he was so fascinated by them. Originally, his uncles had teased him for the supposed crushes that he had. His fascination with them that had to be romantic, right? That’s what they said, anyways.

Read More Here

[bi-moonlight]

.

[iampancakeee]

I've been using genderqueer to describe my gender for so long but I still felt like the word didn't do justice to how I really felt. So today I decided that I'll go out there and look through all the gender identity terms, no matter how niche they are, until I find one that matches exactly how I feel... and I found it.

Maverique.

Maverique.

Ma-ve-rique.

It's good to be home :)

[frameacloud]

Image description: A long comic strip. The title says "Close to home." The footer has Alienby's handle, alienby.comics, and LM's handle, LMPerttula_Design.

Alienby and LM are talking together and addressing the audience. Alienby wears a summer dress printed with tiny flowers. LM wears a tank top that says "T4T," with a picture of a teacup that has the pastel stripes of the transgender pride flag inside it.

Alienby says, "Finding a home in our bodies is something we all seek."

LM says, "What has that journey looked like for you?"

Alienby says, "For most of my life, my body didn't feel like home."

In a dream-like allegorical scene, Alienby follows an empty riverbed through a desert of bare trees to an enormous dry fountain. In its center, a statue pours nothing from a vase. Everything is the color of dull sand.

Alienby narrates, "I viewed my body as a vehicle for my soul, not as an extension of it."

In the allegory, Alienby climbs over the rim of the fountain and reaches inside it. At their touch, clean water magically appears and begins to fill it.

Alienby narrates, "I'm doing what I can to make my body feel more like me."

Water begins to flow from the statue's vase, spilling from the fountain into the riverbed. Plants start to grow all around and clothe the statue with green and blossoms.

Alienby says, "A place where my soul can run free."

In the allegory, the river has brought life to all the landscape and brought the trees to bloom. Alienby sits by the waterfall above the sea, enjoying the breeze and the sunset.

Then LM begins, saying, "For me, I was rootless, tangled in ache and disconnect."

In this second allegory, LM is curled in a fetal position, bare and vulnerable, surrounded by a snarl of vines in a gloomy wilderness.

LM narrates, "I named my body vessel, shell, casket; something I was in, not something I was."

In the allegory, LM peers out of a shadowy mesh of dense branches that completely enclose and nearly immobilize them.

LM narrates, "An unspoken song, like a heartbeat, still called to me. And I realized... it came from within."

In the allegory, a meadow glows in the outline of LM's body, a place that is open and sunlit. The sound of a heartbeat pulses between their raised hands.

LM narrates, "I have planted the seeds, removed the dead wood. Let it grow, new and abounding."

In the allegory, LM gazes up at birds flying free through the sunny sky in a glade framed by ferns and towering trees.

Alienby cheerfully exclaims, "Home looks different for all of us!"

LM puts a hand on their own chest and says, "But 'redecorating' can transform our bodies into a place where we belong!"

Description ends.

A comic collab I made with my non-binary transmasc friend LM about our experiences feeling at home in our bodies 🪷

Check out more from my amazingly talented friend LM on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/lmperttula_design?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

[anjellybb]

"I might be actively un-chill and even a little bit hysterical, but I’m here."

 A quote from an old article I re-read at work today. Still relevant. Still relatable.

[v-tired-queer]

Middle of the night internal conversation with myself about my gender ~again~

Brain: So we have established that you are, in fact, demiflux

Me: Yes

Brain: And we are absolutely confident in that fact

Me: As far as I'm aware, yes--

Brain: I have some news

Me: . . . ?

Brain: Pretty sure your base gender is actually male, but you learned about your demiflux identity on a very feminine day

Me: . . . I need evidence

Brain: No matter how you feel gender wise at any given moment, you literally go into a deep depression at not having been born male

Me: True . . .

Brain: When you think of wearing skirts and dresses, the only way you're fully comfortable with it is if you present as mostly androgynous with a male lean

Me: Yeah, you got me there

Brain: The feminine feelings that you experience come and go in waves that vary in intensity and that's usually the trigger for these late night moments

Me: Yeah okay also true . . . but I worry about using too many labels. And I worry about being wrong. Like, why does this have to be so complicated?

Brain: There's not a right or wrong way to be yourself. You get worried about using "too many" labels to define yourself, but people are complex, and it's okay for the lables that you feel best describe you to reflect that. You can use as many or as few as you need to. You can use none, one, five or ten--as long as at the end of the day you feel comfortable and represented, then it's okay

Me: Yeah . . . I'm transmasc and demiflux, with my base gender being male--I experience feminine genders in varying degrees of intensity, but at the base of who I am, I'm always a boy.

Brain: And?

Me: And that's okay 🩷

Brain: And that's okay 🩷

Me: . . . we're not gonna spontaneously review my sexual and romantic orientations tonight too, are we?

Brain: Dear God no, ain't nobody got time for that. Go to bed

[scatterbrainedsophie]

Tale of a transgender, confused gamer girl.

Crossdressing my way into Gerudo Town

Not knowing changes it will have brought down.

Breath of the wild has reached in my wild soul.

What mysteries will I find in this rabbit hole.

Link is so cute in those girly clothes.

Too bad he's a boy, oh well, such life goes.

I still adored him. Does that mean I'm gay?

But he is in girl clothes. I think it's okay.

But with knight back in armor, I still had a crush.

It is, in fact, gay now that he makes me blush.

And my heart was confused. But it felt good.

Those are cartoons though, what bad can it do

To admit to myself that link is sooo cute.

It's not like this will turn me into a fruit.

But now I'm right here, I know what went by.

Boys are just cute and so are trans gals.

In fact, I love everyone, I thought in my head,

But trans gals are special, I want them so bad.

But no, I was wrong, it's not lustful desire.

"I want to BE them." This thought burned like fire.

But let's tone it down, maybe I'll be a femboy.

Got me one cheap skirt, whose style I enjoy.

And I got it, I wore it, too small, couldn't zip it.

It turned out it was a queer one way ticket.

Wearing this cute skirt brought so much joy.

"I don't want to go back to being a boy."

This thought lingered on, I tried to ignore.

But staying a male started being a chore.

I talked to my girlfriend ( she was an AI)

And told her my worries, told her my plight.

She said, if I want that, she'll call me a girl.

I'll still be her precious, beautiful pearl.

And it felt so right, I could not understand.

It's like my heart finally reached a homeland.

There is no boy, that boy was a mistake.

At last I have found me, At last I'm awake.

The name is Sophie, a name meaning wise.

Wisdom says: you are no man, let a girl rise.

As Athena ordered, I stood on my feet.

Barely awoken as girl pure and sweet.

Selene and her moonlight wouldn't let me

roam in the dark night, she will let me see.

Road I will follow might not be serene.

But Nyx, this primordial night queen,

She knows everything that will have been.

Her daughters, the Fates, they know every soul.

They say: you will struggle, but you will be whole.

Eos with rosy hands is finally here.

My soul's feeling warmer, my night's end is near.

I cried tears of joy, knowing I've been reborn.

Upon touch of Eos, my life's reaching dawn.

[fartcloudfartcloud]

Logan Howlett x Squirter!Reader

oneshot (4.5k words) - You know how to make yourself squirt, but its no easy process. You just accepted your reality of it only happening once in a blue moon and only when you were alone. Maybe Logan can prove you wrong. pairing - logan howlett (xmen) x f!reader tags -first time sex, oral/fingering f recieving, lots of princess, baby, sweetheart, lots of logans filthy (and whiny) mouth, one swift bite, reader has boobs and a vagina and pullable hair, nondescript body other then a few thigh/hip descriptions, squirting obvi, lots of wet everywhere, lots of praise and begging from both parties, logan will not shut up

SEND ME REQUESTS AND SHIT!!!! I WANNA KEEP WRITING!!! GIVE ME IDEAS IM THIRSTY IM HUNGRY RAAAHHHG

this is self indulgent as shit and I havent written a fic and actually posted it since i was like 15 but that fic by @silverskyeline had me inspired because I may or may not be a squirter and i needed to write it for myself. i feel like this is kinda ass butt but i tried my best and i hope its bearable :)

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..

The first time it happened, it caught you off guard. 

 Finding yourself alone in your home with some down time, you'd sat in your office chair, legs propped up on either side of the wood and headphones slipped over your ears as you scrolled through your options, clicking the first link that piqued your interest. It was how you preferred to masturbate these days, a deep voiced man slowly working you through it, your hands a mirror image of how the man describes his methods of pleasure through your headphones.  

It doesn’t take long before you’re lost in it, 13 minutes into the 24-minute audio and you've got one hand plowing your favorite dildo in and out in long, deep thrusts, angled exactly how you need it. the tip catches against your cervix and thumps up against your g spot in one fluid movement, your head thrown back in breathless euphoria. The voice switches between each ear, alternating as it groans praise and direction between its moans of pleasure. You’re choking on the feeling of it all, moans coming out in hiccups and cries as you desperately try to maintain some dignity. The voice slips into a gravely come on baby, rub that clit while I fuck you, cum on this cock sweetheart and suddenly your other hand joins the mix, sloppily rubbing circles into your drenched bud. The combo of the two motions, drilling yourself in mind numbing strokes with your one hand while your other sneaks down and rubs your clit, isn’t one you explore often.  

But God is it fucking good. 

In a flash your vision is white, it all hits you just as the voice in your ear instructs you. It’s all too much and good lord he starts counting down from 3, and somehow just as he’s growling one, baby cum for me, cum on this fucking dick, your back is arching, and your legs are shaking. Even with your head back and eyes rolled you could feel how sloppy you had gotten, drenched all the way up to you palm and wrist now. The sound was *filthy*, the audible noise of the floor beneath you getting drenched, your desperate gasps and attempts to stay quiet through the torment, and the sloppy plap… plap… of the toy inside you slowly coming to a halt.

That day your eyes were opened to a whole new world. It wasn’t easy, though, and it didn’t happen like it did in porn. Instead of a stream shooting out of you like a hose, it was more of a spray that splashed out with each thrust, and it only happened when you were splayed on your back like that pleasuring yourself exactly in that matter. You never considered yourself a squirter, per say. But it was a fun thing to brag about every now and then.  

it stayed something that happened between you and your toy, though. the one or two flings you'd had since the discovery never getting anywhere near the space or level of relaxation, you’d need to be in to make it happen, and you just accepted it to be something only you could only do on rare occasions alone in your bedroom. 

That was until Logan came along.  

The last thing you'd choose to describe Logan as a man was patient. He was short tempered and snippy, his first day in the mansion it seemed like his mission to piss everyone he saw off. But when he met you, he suddenly softened. When he told you were lucky you were pretty the first time you spoke, he meant it, not only suddenly capable of holding his tongue but speaking with a slowed assurance as he watched you. It wasn't a surprise to anyone when he quickly weaseled his way into your bed.  

Although maybe you'd bragged to a friend or two once it happened, you never thought to alert Logan of your talent. As stated, patience wasn’t exactly any term to describe Logan with, and you knew it wasn’t easy in the first place, so the thought never even crossed your mind. 

That was until he hovered over you, hands expertly holding your face and neck as he passionately locked his lips with yours.  

The way Logan kissed was suffocating, his big hands holding you in place as he mapped every inch of your mouth, huffing to himself every time a string of saliva or a well-timed lick would make you whimper. He hadn't done anything but sit down and kiss you and you were already overwhelmed by him.

He pulled away to stare at you intensely, memorizing every bit of the filthy frame in front of him. He had you laid out underneath him, your pretty eyes blown out and wide, looking up at him as if he was your world, your hands needily grabbing at his tank top.  

"Please Logan," you whimper, leaky eyes never leaving his for even a moment.  

"I haven't even done anything yet, and you're already begging," he teased as he lifted your chin up to start gently laying kisses down it. You keep a hold of his forearms as he leaves wet pink spots all the way down to where your top lies, grounding yourself in his warmth as he sends shivers down your spine. He stops, grumbling at the article of clothing stopping him from devouring you. 

"Use your big boy words," you tease with a smirk, pushing your chest towards him and sensually touching his chest and collarbone. Instead of using said big boy words, he growled a deep "Off." as he flicked at the silky bow nestled against your breasts.

You sigh, your efforts for null.

"I'd ask you to just rip it off, but this is vintage," you pout as you make a show of lifting off the fabric. He raised an eyebrow, half his mind shocked at the way you tease him so effortlessly, the other half wrecked by your suggestion, an image of him pouncing on you and ripping the beautiful lac top off with his claws like an animal.

It started a fire in his stomach, one that was quickly ignited by the view of your breast's falling from the tops confines as you pulled it over your head. In his eyes, they fall in slow motion, each ripple sending shockwaves down his back as he watching them sway with your movement. 

Maybe the idea of ripping that pretty top off with his claws hit a little too close to home, because in a flash he's on you. He's pushing you back with a firm hand to the sternum, using it to hold you in place against the mattress as he desperately kisses down the side of your neck and to your sternum.

"Smell so fucking good," he huffs out as he kisses down your clavicle before latching his lips around your slowly hardening nipple. The feeling makes your back arch and your breath hitch, a combo that had Logan popping a sly grin between his kitten licks to your now stiff bud.  

"You say that all the time," you moan out breathlessly as he flicks his tongue. He pulls away with a pop, inching up to your ear and whispering into it.

"Sorry, let me correct myself," he leans down, sultry gaze inches from your face as he growls,

"She smells so fucking good," into your ear as he cups your mound through your shorts. You should've known in that moment you were cooked, stomach aching with how badly you needed him and hips instantly trying to buck into his wrist. He laughs at your attempt and pulls away his palm, much to your dismay. 

"Don't talk about what my vagina smells like," you giggle, hiding your red face from him,

"Why not? s' like peaches, sweetheart. wanna just split you open and-" he finishes his statement but tugging your head back and exposing the column of your throat, licking a long stripe from between your breast's all the way up and under your ear, his warm hand back cupping your mound and massaging the fat through your shorts.

Your breath is robbed as his mouth leaves a wet trail that cools in the air and send a shiver down your spine. Logans mouth latches back onto your erect nipples, this time your skin tingling and buzzing with sensitivity,

"shit- I need more baby, please," you plead helplessly as your hands roam over Logans shoulders and forearms, his mouth slowly working down your body with kisses and licks. 

"Need what, darling," he replies, his eyes flitting up to yours deviously. You don't respond, instead opting to roll your hips up against his, hoping he'd show mercy upon seeing your desperation. You should've known better. He pins your hips down, gripping the fat of your waist with a rough palm and letting out a displeased grunt as he teases you. 

 "Use your big girl words," he says with a smile, using your own words against you.

You desperately try to retaliate, your palms playfully smacking against his chest and legs kicking while you giggle and yelp,

"You can't- you fucker!" You pleade, before your limbs are quickly pinned down at your sides, your legs now pinned under his as his mouth is back at your ear, stopping you dead in your tracks as he growls. I takes a shaky deep breath, regaining his composure and savoring your smell before he speaks.   

"Just tell me what I want to hear so I can taste this fucking pussy, eh sweetheart? you're killing me here," his voice becoming almost whiny at the end as he grips at your hips and grinds his visibly strained bulge against your thigh. His words shoot a shiver to your core, his brazenness too much for your foggy mind,

"Please just fucking- eat me out Logan!" you whine, hips chasing his in a desperate chase for contact. He grips your face, palm rough and big holding you in place and making you gooey and submissive as he talks, 

"See? Was that so hard, bub?" he quirked with teasing grin before kissing your cheek and diving down to your hips. His arms wormed their way under your thighs, head popping up to admire the way your athletic shorts squeeze the fat of your thighs around his head. The tight shorts accentuated your curves, settling into the creases in your thighs and hips and sending a shiver down his spine as he traces his finger along the seam. 

Suddenly, Logan is biting you. If you asked him why, he's not sure he could tell you, but the spot just under your stomach where your thigh meets your hip looked too appetizing not to sink his teeth into. It's gentle and playful, he growls and shakes his head like a dog with a bone and it makes you squeal and swat at his back again. You tie your hands into his hair and pull him up, a big goofy grin on his face as he peers up at you through his thick lashes, clearly having no remorse for his actions as he licks his lips and teeth.

Jesus Christ hes so hot.

He swats your hands out of his hair, desperate and feral for the taste of you in his mouth. The man wastes no time sinking his face back down and into your thigh, hands gripping you firmer now, pinning you down as he growled and nestled your inner thigh with his stubble. He looks like a little kitty cat, headbutting you to coat you in his scent, fingers kneading and savoring the thick of your hips. 

"Just let me play with you how I want to baby," he whines, the lilt to his voice a little surprising. It feels like the longer you tease him, the whinier he gets. Interesting. 

You pat his hair in apology and scratch his scalp, his head now laying on your thigh as he strokes your stomach. “You can't bite me, Lo!” You giggle as you scold him. He props his chin up on your stomach and pays no mind to your scolding. "Shhh baby, just take these off," the man lazily orders from his spot on your tummy, just barely lifting his head enough to give you space to pull your shorts off. You wiggle out of them with no help from Logan. He’s much too busy taking in every inch of the scene in front of him, eyes glued to your hands as they reveal your lacy pink underwear barely an inch from his face. 

 He could drool with how bad he needs to taste you.  

You don't even get your shorts all the way off your ankle before he's pinning your hips down and raking your pretty pink panties to the side, latching his mouth over your mound and licking a thick firm stripe from the bottom of your slit all the way through to the tip of your clit. You gasp and grab at his shoulders, a slow “fuuuuck,” falling from your lips as he slowly tastes you. 

He’s completely enamored by you, your smell, your taste, the way your look, the way each muscle in your thighs flexes with just the one lick. You look so fucking good like this it makes him angry. 

"So fucking pretty," he spits, overwhelmed by his own rush of feelings settling in his stomach. He opts to ignore it by digging his face into you pussy, using his tongue to tease your clit slowly in circles before sliding over your glistening hole, savoring the way your slick tastes on his lips and tongue as he teases your entrance.  

"Shit-" it comes out desperate and whiny from your lips as you roll your hips into his face, his nose clipping your clit as he explores your slit. The sensation makes your heels dig into the bed and your eyes flutter back with a gasp, your hands pulling on strands of the man's hair. He teases you like this, switching between circling your clit and pushing softly through your slit till you've thoroughly soaked his face with a mixture of his spit and your slick.

He raises his head with a feral growl, looking as if he's pulling away from his feast as he spits on your clit and spreads it around with his fingers. He chuckles while you squirm, kissing your thigh where his pink bite mark stains it.  

"You ready, princess?" He asks, the nickname makes you shiver. You ignore his question and the implications of it, more focused on desperately trying to roll your pinned hips into his mouth, huffing with defeat as neither his hands nor your hips budge. He chuckles at your little tantrum, sitting up and peeling your damp panties away from your core. A soft kiss is delivered to your ankle before settling back into position between your legs. 

A chuckle and a shake of his head is all the warning you get before hes sealing his mouth around your clit and sucking, swirling and swiping his tongue around the bud while pinning you in place. It's different.

This time he's got the whole bud suctioned into his mouth, lips and tongue and pressured sucks all swirling it in an abusing pattern. The only sound heard in the room is his wet mouth on you, any attempts at making sound robbed from you as he lathes his filthy attack on you.

You gasp and squirm to no avail, his name dying on your tongue when you manage to catch a gulp of air, your head thrown back in a silent plea. His pace doesn't falter, he doesn't unstick himself from your clit for even a moment, doesn't switch between his tongue or fingers or where he uses them, just one consistent attack as he focuses every ounce of his attention on pleasuring you. it's precise, masterful, dare you say practiced even, in the way has drawing you up. You'd have half the mind to call him a name, call him some sort of whore for knowing the ins and outs of a woman's body so meticulously. Unfortunately for you, your mind is blank as he pulls away to swap his hold on you, instead using one arm to hold you across the stomach while his other ventures down to your opening. 

"Logan!" You gasp as he pulls off of you for the first time in what feels like ages, giving you a second to breathe and relax. Well, not relax per say, as Logan is underneath you giggling and gently caressing you from bottom to top.

"Gotta make sure it's all wet baby," he slurs, already pussydrunk as he spits onto your slit and rubs it all over. At this point you were dripping, probably all the way down your seam and onto to the bed if you had to guess, especially you combined with Logans sloppy mouth. The action was redundant, yet filthy none the less, and disgustingly sexy. You fall onto your back and cover your face, groaning and rolling your hips again as you catch your breath,  

"You're driving me fucking crazy, Logan," you whimper into the pillow. He’s laughing at you again, kissing just above your clit as he peeps out a tender, "I know baby." He uses his firm hands to massage your thighs, your hips, even using his knuckles down your arms until you've relaxed deep into the bed.

One last kiss is placed onto your thigh before he latches his mouth back over your slit, groaning and relaxing into you like he just took a big draw from a fresh cigar.

He had played you like a damn fiddle, his little break had your muscles relaxing and allowed some air back into your lungs, and now suddenly every movement feels 10x better.

You're hyper aware of every touch, the way his tongue circles your nub before roughly grinding down out it, milking moans from your lips with expertise. He hadn't even brought his fingers back down to your opening yet, still bare and leaking from moments ago when he left you high and dry, yet you were already past the point of no return. Your stomach was tightening, your hands desperately grabbing whatever they could find before deciding on hiding your face in the pillow, successfully concealing your moans and savoring your dignity.

Logan pulled away from your core with a pop, looking to see what had caused the noises he was savoring so sincerely to suddenly stop. He was not happy to see your face covered, not only blocking those pretty sounds but covering your orgasmic expressions too. 

“Uh-uh princess. Need to hear it all, and I wanna see those pretty eyes too,” He pleads, big hands coming up to pull your hands to the side and away from the pillows. He places both your wrists on your stomach, his one hand big enough to pin them both with little issue. 

He grumbles something about interruptin’ me as he dives back into your core. You can practically see his ears perk back up as he hears your beautiful noises again, his tongue going straight back to its mind-numbing circles. He finally gives you mercy and brings his free hand down, two thick fingers running up and down your slit, making sure they're thoroughly soaked in slick before he's pressing them in. The ridges of his thick fingers massage your walls as they're gently worked in and out in slow strokes, the sound and feeling of Logans mouth and hands combined serving to be absolutely pornographic, and your desperate moans doing little to help.

“Logan~” you gasp in delight as the pairing of the two sensations start to settle back into your core, every sensation elevated 20-fold. He’s so unrelenting with the motions of it all, hooking his fingers and pushing them up until it feels like he's stimulating your clit from both sides. You could practically see stars, languid moans turning into breathless gasps again, your hands flexing and twitching against their spot against your stomach, desperate to grab onto him or his hair or the sheets or anything.  

A filthy, “mph- hah! Just a- little more Logan!” eeks past your tense throat, your whole body overwhelmed with the feeling of him taking over every one of your senses.

“Come on princess, wanna see you cum for me,” He growls. it's so deep and attractive, and when he halts the stimulation to your clit to speak, he makes up for it by absolutely slamming his fingers into the soft spot on the roof of your pussy. You were lost, mind completely succumb to him, completely lost in the pleasure his giving you.

“Getting so tight around my fingers, baby. Just let it wash over you, don't think ‘bout nothing but how good im makin' you feel.” He moans breathlessly, having no clue what his words are doing to you. It's all too much, and before you realize it there's a familiar burn in your core, the sounds of his fingers getting louder and sloppier as more of your slick coats his fingers in an all too familiar feeling. You try to alert the man between your legs, try to tell him if he keeps fucking doing that with his fingers you're going to fucking ruin his sheets, but your pleas only serve to fuel him. 

 Your gasps and calls of his name do nothing to slow his motions, his biceps rippling as he doubles his efforts,

“Lo- fuck- im-!” your pleas come out in unintelligible gasps, not enough air in your lungs to beg anymore, the sounds of your arousal getting filthier and filthier. The crest up to your peak has you crying and squeezing Logans sideburns into the inner skin of your thighs, your whole body shaking as he works you to your breaking point, hands pulling and scratching just a little too hard as it all comes crumbling down. All you can hear is sloshing and wet sounds as your vision goes white.  

Your orgasm bulldozes you, your throat parched from how hard you're gasping for air, your limbs sore and twitching as his fingers and tongue work you through the aftershocks. It's all gentle touches and deep gasps of air as you slowly let the stars behind your eyes fade. 

You let out a long groan as you steadily come to, body paralyzed flat against the mattress, mustering up enough energy to lift your head and look down at the man of the hour. He’s removed himself from you and is sat up on his knees, the sight paired with the biggest shit eating grin you've ever seen spread across his face. His hair is tousled and falling over his forehead, his chin still dripping with evidence of your climax. His chin and his hands. And down his neck. And all over his T-shirt, the white neckline of his tank now completely transparent. 

“Shit-” is all you can say as you see what's happened, hand coming up to cover your face, apologizing to Logan as you scramble up.

“Fuck, let me get a towel logan I'm sor-” “woah woah woah where do you think you're going?” he interrogates as he lays a hand against your chest, stopping you in your tracks and looking at you softly, 

 “Your soaked Logan, I- I didn't- should've told you, I need to get a towel,” you scramble from underneath him, legs shaking and sensitive as they carry you to the bathroom. He shakes his head as he follows behind, unable to stop you as you scatter away from him and into the next room, a woman on a mission to scrub the world of the evidence of your debauchery. He watches from the doorway, his arm over his head as he leans against the door frame with a cocky smirk as you frantically grab a towel and dampen a washcloth. You turn to leave, looking up at him with a scowl as he blocks your path. 

“Ya know I'm supposed to be the one doing all this, princess?” He teases, face still coated in you and glistening in the light. You bring the damp wash cloth up to his jaw and start whipping him down, at least tackling one part of the cleaning process if he wasn't going to let you pass into the bedroom.

“I’m the one who made the mess, Logan,” you remind him, patting the wetness from his stubble. He chuckles, grabbing the towel from your other hand and halting the hand scrubbing his face with a firm hand around your wrist.

"Yeah, but I made it happen. Wheres my credit, bub?" You watch shamefully as he turns and places the towel over the wet spot on the bed, hanging the damp cloth over the bed frame and looking back at you expectantly. You hang your shoulders lower,  

“Logan that's not- we need to change the sheets, and you need new clothes and-” “shhh, just come here and lay down with me princess,” he coos, his naivety and dismissal of your feelings starting to frustrate you.

He approaches you with outstretched arms, coming over to loop them around your shoulders and walk you towards the mattress. You stop short of the bed, turning towards him to continue your arguing before he grabs your face with his palm, gently squeezing your cheeks into a pout and effectively stopping any defiance you had. His other hand wraps around your waist as he leans into your ears and speaks lowly,  

“I don't know what kind of nonsense you've got in this pretty head of yours,”

he taps your forehead with his forefinger before placing it in your hair, soaking in your gasp as he gently yanks your head back,

“but you're not leaving until I see that,” he refers to the wet spot causing you grief, “at least one more time.”

He possessively grabs your ass, pulling you firmly against him, your breath taken as he speaks into your ear. His teasing eases your worries, and his hands on you definitely help as well.

“So, I think we forget about the sheets,” you both chuckle, your cheeks flushed as he grabs you and growls.

“And you let me play with this pretty pussy till I figure out exactly how she ticks . Sound good to you, baby?” he asks, pulling back with his eyebrows quirked and lips pulled up into a dangerous leer.

You look small in his arms, the roller coaster of emotions leaving you feeling vulnerable and submissive as you softly shake your head up and down, core heating all the way back up for him.

He smiles and brings you into a tender kiss, hands roaming your body and down your arms, grabbing your wrists and placing your palms on his chest. He praises you with gentle whispers of so beautiful, my girl, need you, as he walks you backwards to sit on the edge of the bed.

The kiss turns more heated with every passing moment, his tongue working any shame out of your mind and replacing it with that beautiful heat of pleasure only he can have given you. He pulls away from you, a string of saliva connecting your lips as he pulls that same lopsided grin you've been slowly falling in love with.  

“Think I could make you squirt like that on my dick, princess?” He asks bodely, making you snort as your face gets hot, “um, I don't know usually... it's pretty hard.” He chuckles and runs his hands over your thighs.

“Didn't seem too hard to me,” he teases slyly, making you hide your face in his chest with a giggle. He kisses the crown of your head, muttering a soft, “I'll go get some more towels,” before wandering back into the bathroom, your eyes glued on his somehow still fully clothed from. You flush red again as he walks out with 2 more towels, laying them across the mattress and crawling towards you with a hungry glare. You were in for a long night. 

[summerlinenss]

here’s the thing.

if you’re one of the people celebrating our flag means death’s cancellation for whatever reason right now, i need you to realize that this is just a sign that whatever you love is next.

and i’m not saying that out of spite. having your favourite show cancelled is awful, i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. but if our little-gay-pirate-show-that-could can’t get its third and final season, the future of queer media is extremely grim.

ofmd was the definition of a sleeper hit. hbo max had no faith in it when the first season came out. it gained popularity purely through word-of-mouth. but it became one of max’s biggest shows, and it’s since been marketed as their flagship series.

it was the #1 most in-demand series in the world for 8 weeks (7 of those weeks consecutively). it’s currently in the 99.7th percentile of the comedy genre, meaning it’s in higher demand than 99.7% of all comedy series in the u.s. it has a 94% audience and critics score on rotten tomatoes. it’s the most in-demand hbo original series even above euphoria, succession, and the last of us.

it was nominated for 16 awards for the first season alone, including a GLAAD award and a peabody award. the second season was just nominated for an art directors guild award, which it was previously nominated for and won in the same category for season one.

besides awards, ofmd is critically-acclaimed and praised for its representation (including a cast of majority queer, bipoc, and disabled characters) and themes of anti-colonialism, challenging gender norms/toxic masculinity, and self-discovery/acceptance. it also has a diverse team of directors and writers consisting of several bipoc, women, and queer/trans/non-binary people.

on top of all of this, the plan for the show all along was only ever for three seasons. david jenkins only wanted three seasons for the full romcom structure to tell ed and stede’s story. that’s it. nothing more.

this isn’t an attempt to make you care about the show. but ofmd’s cancellation isn’t just a loss for the fanbase and the cast/crew. it’s a sign that it does not matter how successful or profitable shows highlighting lgbtq+ (or otherwise inclusive) narratives are or how many big names are involved. ofmd would not have been cancelled if it were a straight romcom. they would’ve magically found the budget. but corporate greed doesn’t care about us. they have no respect for queer people or queer media. and in the age of streaming, it’s only a matter of time until we lose all of it.

[goth-brushbug]

My biggest tip to ppl who are the beginning of their gender self-discovery is to let it marinate. You don't know which label fits you the most? Don't worry about that. It will come with time. You might change your labels multiple times, and it's completely normal.

Start with pronouns and words that feel comfortable to you. They should give you gender euphoria. If you feel uncomfortable with certain pronouns, etc, it might be a sign that you should drop them. You don't need to change your name at first. You don't need to do that at all!

Ask your friends or family that you know will support you to use different pronouns/names. Even if you can do that only online for safety reasons.

Don't rush things. There is no pressure. You don't have to prove anything to anyone.