#i WILL post them in the following months so

[homelessnerd]

Don’t mind me posting something that rotted in my drafts for a few months

Oooo I have reasons to not pick some as much as I have reasons to pick the two I want so I’m gonna list it. Color coded based on severity of feelings (Nope, maybe, confused, yes, satisfied)

1) I wouldn’t pick this because I enjoy the process of growing so far. I’m still young, almost 20, but I don’t want to stay here or at any age past or future forever.

2) Could be fun but I’m through and through someone who would rather stay at home and have people over. I don’t think I would use it much.

3) How would I even use that much? I would prefer to teach my future kids how to work hard from experience that I have. I don’t need that much money to feel comfortable or bless the people around me.

4) This is one of the ones I would take! I love language so much and I would love to have an easier time learning languages of people I meet

5) I already reconnected with my best friend from elementary school, so there’s not really anyone I’d want to bring back from the past. My grandmother died when I was 11, and I’ve made my peace with that. I have had 2 miscarriages, and while I do wish I could see my children it would feel cheap and just…wrong to have them back. Like I’m trying to fight God for no good reason.

6) I already did! Might not be my soul mate exactly but I think it’s as pretty dang close as you can get in this world

7) I would HATE a big following, I don’t want to feel like I have to interact with so many people

8) NO NO NO I do NOT want plastic surgery. Are there things about my face I don’t like? Sure, but it’s still *me*. Also I don’t want to get any unnecessary surgeries

9) This is the other one I would take, because it fits in neatly with the other one I want!

Humour me?

[bewareofthenewphannie]

sigh....please don't kill me for this

AO3 Phandom Stats - Top or Bottom?

As many of you may have noticed there has been a shift in the depiction of Dan and Phil in fanfiction over the past few months from previously predominantly Dan being written as the bottom to now largely Phil bottoming. This post aims to put that trend into numbers and visualise it in a few overly convoluted diagrams below the cut.

Does any of this matter? Absolutely not.

Is it interesting? Oh boy, it sure is!

Disclaimer: This is an analysis of the fanfiction writing and tagging trends within the Phandom. It's at most tangentially related to the Real People Dan and Phil and is not meant to spark any type of discourse. I am doing this as an avid fanfic reader and with the utmost respect and appreciation for the authors of these fics, so I don't want to see any negativity directed towards them. Above all this is meant to be fun and interesting.

And as always - don't like it, don't read it <3

Note on accessibility: linked here is a doc with all the numbers shown in the screenshots of this post. Inspired by emma's stats I will be putting the cell range in the ID - if there's a better way to do this, please lmk!!

Methodology

To get the numbers shown here I filtered the works in the Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF) AO3 tag by "date updated" from the Jan 1st to Dec 31st of each year and by the following tags:

Bottom Dan Howell

Bottom Phil Lester

Top Dan Howell

Top Phil Lester

Short excurse on AO3 tags for those unaware:

The tags I chose are canonical tags, which means other tags that mean the same thing but are for example spelled differently are linked to this tag by tag wranglers and appear when you search for the canonical tag (see example below).

Additionally, the "bottom x" tags are metatags for the power bottom tags, which means fics tagged with "power bottom x" also appear when you filter works for these tags.

It's important to note that not every fic where one of them tops or bottoms is tagged as such. That means these stats very specifically look at the author's choice to tag fics with these tags and not the overall amount of fics where one of them tops or bottoms. However, I would argue it's fair to assume that it's at least somewhat reflective of the general writing trends within the Phandom.

For simplicity's sake I will refer to these tags as e.g. "Bottom!Phil" (b!p) going forward.

Stats 2013 - 2024

Here you can see how many fics were tagged with each tag in the respective year and the amount of bottom!dan and bottom!phil fics relative to the total amount of fanfic written in the same time span.

As expected, up until 2023 the split was about 2 b!d to 1 b!p fic (precise numbers: 71% to 29%; see pie chart above).

In 2018 we can see a peak in both in the number of phanfics written and the relative amount of fics tagged as bottom!dan.

Starting in 2023 (more on that below!) this flips and in 2024 the ratio of b!d to b!p fics was 1 to 4 (precise numbers: 81% to 19%; see pie chart above).

Furthermore, making up 4,62% of the total amount of phanfics written in 2024, the bottom!phil tag is relatively speaking twice as popular now as the bottom!dan tag ever was.

Sidenote: You can see that generally the amount of fics tagged with b!d and t!p, as well as b!p and t!d correspond to each other for obvious reasons (they're usually fucking each other). This year however there's 16 fics more tagged with bottom!phil than top!dan, which shows that there's been a very specific interest in writing and tagging bottom!phil in the last year.

Here you can see the total amount of phanfics written by year because I already collected the data, so I might as well put it here:

Stats 11/2023 - 12/2024

Now I want to take a closer look at the past few months post hiatus.

You can see that there's been a steady increase in the total amount of fics written per month!

That's incredibly cool!! (Love to all the wonderful writers out there <33)

Before we get into the actual stats, it's important to note that we're working with very low numbers here, so don't be fooled by overinterpreting percentages in the first few months depicted and look at the actual numbers! In the diagram below I excluded September and October 2023 because there simply wasn't enough data to produce useable results.

Contrary to what I expected, the increase in fics tagged with bottom!phil does not coincide with gamingmas 2023 (pour bot hem and top bunk kind of guy), nor phil's birthday live stream (topped by kakuna) but only really starts in June 24 and spikes in August for reasons I'm not fully sure about.

If I had to pin it on one thing it'd be the precious baby angel picture, which was posted in mid August.

Much more likely is though that this was simply a dynamic that built over months and had a wide array of reasons mentioned above and could very well be a self-reinforcing dynamic of more and more people looking for that tag and also writing for it.

If anyone has more insight on this, please share your thoughts :]

On that note, I'm finally done yapping, I hope this was at least mildly interesting!

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Shhh....

Summary: Being a single parent comes with all kinds of challenges. Challenges that are so much easier to deal with when the father of your daughter's best friend is there to take of your more personal needs. And if that meant sneaking off with you into a laundry room at a garden party? Well who would he be to complain?

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 2.2k

Rating: E

Warnings: smut (semi public sex, unprotected sex, oral f receiving, cumplay) friends with benefits to lovers, a lot of flirting, fluff?

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist

He didn’t know exactly why he agreed to go to this garden party. It was one of the few Saturdays he had off and he wanted it to spend with Sarah. She’s been in middle school since the summer and with all the changes that brought they only had little time to hang out in the last few weeks. 

So when Sarah brought the invitation for this garden party that the parents of one of her new classmates were throwing, he wanted to decline. But Sarah told him she really wanted to go, and that if he had something else to do that day, he could just drop her off and pick her up after?

But of course Joel Miller went with her. 

And it wasn’t that bad. The drinks were cold, the food was good and meeting all the new parents at the beginning of the year was a good thing too. Even if he already had forgotten most of their names. There were a few faces he recognised from Sarah’s elementary school, so he kept talking to them, all while having an eye out on Sarah who was playing soccer with some kids at the other side of the backyard. 

„Fancy seeing you here,“ he heard your voice behind him, and his eyes closed before he took a deep breath and turned around, fighting unsuccessfully against the smile that sneaked to his lips as he looked down at you. 

„Could say the same,“ he winked and your smile widened. 

This party just got interesting. 

You were running late.

The plan was to leave around twenty minutes ago but Charlotte, your daughter, just couldn’t decide on what to wear. She just turned twelve and if this last half year was a preview on how puberty would be with her, than you were in for a wild ride. 

Usually you used the weekends to charge your mental batteries by having as little contact to the outside world as possible after working at a bakery and having to be social all week. 

But Charlotte had brought the invitation for the garden party a couple weeks ago, begging you to go because Sarah would be there too. 

And where Sarah was, her father wasn’t far behind which was why you said yes in the end and spend way too much time on deciding what to wear before you decided on a light summer dress. 

It had been a while since you seen him, and you couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you had found the time to have sex.

Because ever since Charlotte and Sarah became best friends some time back in pre school, you and Joel started sleeping together occasionally. The first time happened after a night out at the bar where you ran into him, both of your kids on a sleepover. It had been positively mind-blowing and you were more than eager to agree to keep this going when you both needed a release. 

His wife had left him and Sarah before the girl turned one and your husband had used your pregnancy to fuck his secretary because apparently carrying his child made you unattractive to him.

And with both you and Joel being very devoted single parents, both of your love lives was pretty much non existent. You wouldn't say it was frequent now, but every month or two you would find some hours where you’d meet up at either of your houses, not leaving before both of you were more than satisfied. 

And you didn’t know if it was the secrecy of the whole thing, but my god the way Joel Miller knew how to play your body to the point of a crying orgasm was addictive.

But now you hadn’t really seen him in almost three months. 

With the school change and summer break things were busy not only for you, but for him too. You texted occasionally, trying to figure out a time to meet up, but business was picking up for Miller construction and Joel used the little time he had off to spend with Sarah. 

Something you could understand. 

So you were excited to see him as you parked your car right behind his on the street after Charlotte finally had chosen a dress to wear. You knew all that time deciding on her outfit would be for nothing once they played soccer, but hey. 

Charlotte was off to see Sarah as soon as you stepped into the garden, many people already mingling. The smell of fresh BBQ lingered in the air and before you even had taken two steps inside you already had an iced tea in hand, the host, one of the moms of a new classmate of Charlotte that you had met before, welcoming you. 

You were glad that Charlotte and Sarah where in the same class, both of them loving each other like sisters. With Joel working so much you had Sarah over more often lately, seeing Joel only when he picked her up. 

She was very well behaved and deep down you got the impression she loved hanging around with just girls for a change. Of course Joel was the best father, but there are some things that teenage girls don’t want to speak to their dads about. 

Such as how to use the eyeliner she secretly bought correctly or the awkward question about what to use, pads or tampons or period underwear?

It was nice that she trusted you with questions like that. 

You knew from Joel that she had struggled to not have a mom like other kids and he told you it was nice that she now had you to ask all those questions. 

Not that you were her mom, or wanted to be. 

Well…. Okay maybe sometimes deep into the night when you looked at the empty space in bed next to you, you might imagine how it would be if Joel would be there, every day. How could you not?

He was the hot single dad every mom in class always wanted and you were the one who had him. Occasionally. But still.

You let your eyes gaze through the backyard before you saw the broad shoulders of the man you had hoped would be here.

You could feel the butterflies in your belly as you walked over to him and fuck that smile he gave you when he turned around…

„Work still keeping you busy?“ You asked a little while later, both of you with a plate of food in front of you, sitting at one of the tables outside. 

„Yeah. Can’t remember when I got more than five hours of sleep at night the last time,“ he groaned and you reached one hand over to rest on his knee before you could stop yourself. 

„You got to take care of yourself, honey. Let that brother of yours pick up some slack too,“ you winked and he gave you a bashful smile before one of his hands came to rest on top of yours. 

„He does. As a matter of fact he’s taking over the next project so I have some more free time to spend with Sarah,“ he said and you hummed. 

„And if I’m being completely honest there’s this girl I haven’t spend any time with in the last months and I really really miss her and her little pussy,“ he had leaned in, whispering the last words against your ear and you shivered. 

„Just her pussy?“ You mumbled back as you looked up at him and he smirked. 

„Nah, she’s the whole fucking deal. Should probably get off my own ass and finally as her out on a date instead of just fucking he brains out whenever she lets me,“ he said and you sucked your bottom lip in as you tried to hide your smile.

You looked away from him for a moment, gathering your thoughts, making up your mind. 

You needed him, and you needed him now. 

„Think you can show me where the bathroom is? I think I need a little refresh,“ you asked, hoping he would get the hint. And by the shit eating grin that came to his face, he did. 

„Of course. Follow me.“

„This… This is not the bathroom,“ you mumbled against his lips, his body pressing you against the door of what looked like a laundry room. 

„Less interruptions here,“ he hummed, hand slipping under your dress, finger hooking into your panties, pulling them down. You smiled, hands in his hair as you helped him get your panties off. 

„Been too damn long,“ he ran his hand up your leg, wrapping it behind his back, his other hand on your back puling you closer before he kissed you again, his tongue playing with yours as you reached down, unzipping his pants. 

„Missed me so much you gonna fuck me in some people’s laundry room? Want us to get caught?“ You grinned, hand pulling out his cock, surprised to find out he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Wrapping your palm around his cock you loved the deep groan he released against your lips. 

„Not gonna get caught if you keep quiet baby,“ he hooked your leg over his arm, hand on the door behind you as he stepped closer, opening you up for him. 

„Oh yeah, because I am the one who can’t keep quiet,“ you teased and he huffed a laugh, replacing your hand around his cock with his as he pumped himself and lined himself up. 

You wrapped one arm around his shoulders, standing only one one leg, trusting him to keep you there. 

Slowly he finally sank into you, his thick cock stretching you perfectly. 

„Fuckin’ perfect,“ he grunted, lips pressing against yours in a deep kiss when his cock filled you completely, both of you moaning quietly. 

„This ain’t gonna take long, sweetheart. Been to fuckin’ long,“ he grunted and you gasped when he moved, bottoming out completely before thrusting back inside. 

„Don’t care, just fuck me,“ you whimpered and he nodded against your lips, fucking up into you, skin slapping against skin every time he filled you. 

You sucked your bottom lip in, trying to keep quiet as he hammered into you, his lips now attached to your shoulder as he groaned into your skin. 

„Shit,“ he grunted just a couple of thrusts later and you felt him twitch as he came, spilling inside of you. Letting your head fall against the door you gasped for ear, having not cum but fuck it still felt good to just have him inside of you.

You were about to say something when he got on his knees, cock pulling out of you, your leg now hooked over his shoulders as his tongue replaced his cock, Joel moaning as he tasted you. 

„Oh fuck,“ you whimpered, hands now in his hair as he looked up at you. He grinned wickedly as he licked into you, licked his cum out of you. 

„We taste good together,“ he mumbled against your cunt, and you pulled at his hair with a quiet whine. 

„Shhh Baby. Don’t want anyone to hear what a little slut your are for me huh?“ He teased and you pulled his hair harder, making him moan as he continued to lick you. 

He sucked on your clit, tongue playing with it all while pushing you closer and closer to the edge. 

„Joel,“ you moaned softly, your head falling back against the door as you finally came, gasping for air as your body shook in Joel’s hold. You melted against the door once you rode it out, limbs feeling like jello. He kissed your pussy one last time, before he set your leg down, keeping his arms around you as he got off of his knees. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him hard once he stood upright. 

„We do taste good together,“ you whispered and he chuckled. 

It was two hours later, nobody at the party had noticed the very explicit things you did in that laundry room, that Joel carried a very tired Charlotte towards your car, Sarah already sleeping in the backseat of his car. 

You opened the backseat door of your car for him and he carefully sat Charlotte down, putting the belt on for her. 

You were leaning against the back of your car as he closed the door and he walked towards you. 

„What are you doing next Friday?“ He asked, fingers tilting your chin up.

„Nothing. Charlotte is with her Dad,“ you said with a small smile. 

„And Sarah is at her Grandma’s for a sleepover,“ he hummed with a smirk. 

„Wanna go on a date with me?“ He asked and you grinned, getting on your tiptoes to kiss him softly. 

„I thought you’d never ask.“

[bloodyjuls-blog]

NOTHING MUCH(Russo's sister X Leah Williamson)

Kay Russo had always been Alessia’s shadow. Since they were little girls, Alessia was the star of the family: the one who shined on the football field, the one who made her parents proud, the one who had a solid group of friends who seemed to want to crush anyone who didn’t fit into their perfect world. Kay, on the other hand, was “the other.” It wasn’t that she wasn’t talented; it just never seemed like enough.

As they grew up, the differences became more pronounced. Alessia had a clear path: Manchester United, the English national team, and eventually Arsenal. On the other hand, Kay was stuck in mediocre jobs and awful comments from her parents and sister. “Why can’t you be more like Alessia?” was a phrase she heard all too often.

The relationship between Kay and Alessia was tense, but the breaking point came one night, when Alessia, along with a group of her friends, began to make fun of Kay in front of everyone at a family gathering.

“And you, Kay?” “What have you been up to lately?” Alessia said with a venomous smile. “Did you find a job or are you still living off of mom and dad’s money?”

Laughter echoed around the room, and though Kay tried to keep her composure, she felt her stomach churn with shame. That night, locked in her room, Kay collapsed on her bed with her eyes filled with tears. She knew she had to change something in her life and escape that toxic dynamic. It was then that while surfing the internet, she saw an ad for the Royal Navy: “Find a purpose. Discover your potential. Join the Royal Navy.”

Kay didn’t think twice. She knew that enlisting was her ticket out, but she also knew that her family would never understand. So she made a drastic decision: she didn’t tell them anything. The following week, the recruitment process began.

A few weeks later, Kay received confirmation: she had been accepted. The date to report was marked on her calendar, and as it approached, she felt a mix of nerves and relief. One night before she left, she decided she should at least tell her family something, but not everything.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, I’ll be gone for a while,” she said over dinner.

Her mother looked up from her plate with disdain.

“On ​​vacation? With what money?” she asked sarcastically.

Kay took a deep breath, trying not to lose her cool. “Never mind, I just wanted to let them know.”

Alessia laughed softly and murmured, “Always so mysterious.”

Kay gritted her teeth, finishing her meal in silence. That would be the last dinner she would share with them for a long time.

The day Kay left, she left home early, carrying a backpack and leaving behind a short note on the kitchen table: “I’m gone. I don’t know when I’ll be back. Take care of yourselves.”

The months that followed were a whirlwind. Basic training in the Royal Navy was brutal, but Kay held on to it with determination. Every physical exercise, every lesson, every grueling hour felt like a step toward freedom. Here she wasn't "Alessia's sister," she didn't have to endure her family's hurtful comments. Here she was simply Kay, someone trying hard to find her place.

After completing her training, Kay was given her first leave. She decided to return home, even though she knew it would be difficult.

When she arrived, the reception was cold. Alessia wasn’t even there; she was away on a trip with her team. Her parents barely showed any interest in hearing about her experience in the Navy.

“So what’s next?” her father asked in an indifferent tone. “Are you going to be here long?”

Kay felt the knot in her chest grow bigger. That night, as Alessia posted pictures on Instagram with her teammates, Kay sat alone in the backyard, wondering if she would ever truly belong in this family.

It was during one of those visits home that Kay met Leah Williamson. Alessia had invited some of her teammates over for dinner, and though Kay tried to stay out of the way, she couldn’t help but run into them. Leah was kind, something Kay hadn’t expected. They had a brief but meaningful conversation, and in that moment, Kay felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time: connection.

Kay returned to her base after that brief visit home. The experience only reinforced what she already knew: her family would not change. But one thing remained in her mind: Leah Williamson. They had exchanged a few words over dinner, but there was something about her warmth, the way she seemed to see Kay as a person, and not as a shadow of Alessia. Leah didn’t know her, she was unprejudiced, and that made her different.

The day Kay had her first chance to visit London while on leave, she remembered that Leah was playing for Arsenal. She decided to take a chance and attend a match. It was strange to be surrounded by thousands of fans excited about something that, until recently, had been a source of insecurity for her: football and the shadow of her sister. Alessia was not on the team yet, which made the experience a little more bearable.

After the match, Leah, who had played spectacularly, was surrounded by fans and media. Kay watched her from a distance, trying to convince herself that she would simply leave without saying anything. But Leah saw her.

“Kay!” she called from the field, waving excitedly.

Kay froze for a moment before shyly approaching.

“What are you doing here babe?” Leah asked, clearly surprised but pleased.

Kay shrugged, trying not to look nervous. “I was in town and thought I’d come to watch the game.”

Leah smiled, and something in her expression made Kay feel less invisible. “I’m glad you came. Do you have plans now?”

Before she could stop herself, Kay shook her head. That night, they ended up having dinner together at a small, low-key restaurant near the stadium. It was the start of something unexpected.

As the months passed, Kay’s visits to London became more frequent. She always found an excuse to see her, and Leah seemed to enjoy her company as much as she enjoyed Leah’s. They talked about everything: life in the Navy, the challenges of being a professional soccer player, and, occasionally, Kay’s family struggles.

One night, as they walked through the quiet streets of London after dinner, Leah stopped and looked at her seriously.

“Kay, why don’t you ever talk about Alessia much? I know you are sisters, but you almost seem to avoid mentioning her.”

Kay looked at the ground, feeling her chest tighten. Talking about Alessia was like opening a wound that never healed.

“It’s complicated, Leah. I’ve always been… different to them. Alessia’s the star, the one who shines. I… I just exist on the periphery.”

Leah took her hand, an unexpected but comforting gesture. “That’s not fair, Kay. You shouldn’t feel that way.”

Kay looked up, surprised by Leah’s sincerity. It was at that moment that she knew this connection was something special.

As her relationship with Leah grew stronger, Kay knew there would be trouble sooner or later. Leah was a public figure, and although she hadn’t revealed details of her personal life to the world, speculation was constant. The Arsenal team was full of rumors about who Leah’s partner could be, but no one suspected Kay. Alessia, still playing in Manchester, had no idea that her younger sister was getting so close to one of her friends.

Kay also knew that her family wouldn’t approve of the relationship, not only because of who Leah was, but because the idea that she could have anything valuable in her life seemed inconceivable to them.

Everything changed when Kay received the news of a new deployment abroad. It was a high-risk mission, and although she was used to challenges, this time was different. Now she had something to lose. When she told Leah, the reaction was immediate.

“How long will you be gone honey?” Leah asked, trying to remain calm.

“I don’t know but it could be months.” Leah nodded and cuddled her, but Kay could see the worry in her eyes. That night, as they said goodbye, Leah hugged her tighter than usual.

“Just promise me you’ll come back, okay?”

Kay didn’t answer, because she knew that was a promise she couldn’t guarantee.

During deployment, Kay was severely wounded in an ambush. The bullet that hit her back damaged her spine, leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. Doctors told her she would never walk again. The physical pain was immense, but the emotional blow was even worse.

When she was finally able to reach Leah from the military hospital, the conversation was brief but full of emotion.

“I’m alive,” was the first thing Kay said, her voice shaking.

Leah, on the other end of the line, let out a sigh of relief, but she couldn’t hide her worry. “What happened, Kay? Tell me the truth.”

Kay closed her eyes, feeling the tears begin to flow. “I’m in a wheelchair, Leah.” I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.

The silence on the other end of the line was painful, but when Leah finally spoke, her voice was firm. “I’m going to be with you, Kay. No matter what.”

Kay spent weeks in the military hospital, facing the reality of her condition. Doctors stabilized her, but the words she most feared hearing finally came: she would never walk again. She wasn’t ready to face it. Her life as she knew it had changed forever. The military, her only refuge, was also out of reach.

London became her next destination. The medical staff recommended that she be transferred to a civilian hospital where she could receive specialized treatment and subsequently begin the rehabilitation process. When Kay thought about where she could stay afterward, only one person came to mind: Leah.

Leah waited for Kay at Heathrow Airport, visibly worried. Even though she had received constant updates about her condition, seeing her in person would be an emotional challenge. When Kay appeared in the wheelchair, pushed by a hospital attendant, Leah felt her heart tighten in her chest.

Kay wore a stoic expression as if she was using all her strength to keep her emotions in check. Leah could see past that, though. Kay’s eyes, once full of life, now reflected exhaustion and pain.

“Hi my love" Kay said quietly as she came to her side.

Leah leaned in to hug her, ignoring the fact that they were in the middle of a crowded airport. It was a long hug, one they both needed.

“Welcome home baby,” Leah said softly leaning against her and kiss her deeply.

Kay wanted to correct her, reminding her that London wasn’t her home, but she couldn’t find the words. Maybe, after all, Leah was the closest thing she had to a home.

Leah’s London flat was cozy but small, and the modifications needed to accommodate the wheelchair made the space feel even more cramped. Leah had worked tirelessly to get everything ready, installing ramps and rearranging furniture. Kay felt grateful, but also deeply uncomfortable.

“You didn’t have to do all this, Le” Kay said as she scanned the space with difficulty.

Leah, who was making a cup of tea, turned to her with a calm smile. “Of course I did. I wasn’t going to let you go through this alone.”

Kay nodded, but inside, guilt and frustration were growing. She wasn’t used to depending on anyone, let alone someone as important to her as Leah.

The first few weeks were a mix of intense emotions. Kay tried to keep a routine, attending physical therapy sessions and learning to adjust to her new life. However, every little failure—not being able to reach something, needing help with simple tasks—felt like a monumental defeat.

One night, while Leah was cooking, Kay decided it was time to talk about what had happened at the military hospital. It was a weight she had carried alone for far too long.

“Leah, can you sit down for a moment?”

Leah stopped what she was doing and sat across from Kay in the living room. The concern on her face was evident.

“What’s wrong, Kay?”

Kay took a deep breath, her hands shaking slightly. “There’s something I need to tell you about what they did to me in the Navy before all the injuries happened.”

Leah nodded, her expression becoming more serious. “I’m listening.”

Kay began to speak, her voice shaky at first, but gaining strength as she went on. She told him about the treatments she’d endured: the electroshocks they justified as “experimental therapy,” the times they’d left her alone for hours without help, and the “rehab” sessions that often included pushing her physically to the limit.

“There were days I thought… I wasn’t going to get out of there. They yelled at me that I needed to be strong, that if I couldn’t take it, I didn’t deserve to be in the military.”

Leah clenched her fists as she listened, her face reflecting a mix of anger and sadness.

“How could they do that to you?” she finally asked, her voice cracking.

“It’s the price of being weak in their world, Leah. They couldn’t stand someone like me not being “useful” anymore.”

Leah leaned forward, taking Kay’s hands in hers. “Listen to me, Kay. What they did was inhumane, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are one of the strongest people I know.”

The tears Kay had been holding back finally began to fall. Leah didn’t say anything else, she held her, allowing her to release all the pain she had built up over the months.

Alessia’s arrival at Arsenal added a new layer of tension to Kay’s life. Although both had avoided any confrontation, Alessia’s passive-aggressive comments were quick to appear.

One afternoon, while Leah and Kay were at home, Alessia arrived unannounced. Leah had forgotten to lock her door, and Alessia walked in like she owned the place.

“So this is where you’re hiding, Kay?” Alessia said, with a sarcastic smile as she looked around the apartment.

Leah, who was in the kitchen, quickly came out upon hearing Alessia’s tone. “What are you doing here, Alessia?”

“I just wanted to see how my long-lost sister lived. It seems you’ve been busy… or should I say ‘well-kept’?”

Kay, who was in the living room, turned to face Alessia. “What do you want, Alessia?”

“I want to understand how you went from being a ghost to… this.” She pointed at Leah with a nod.

Leah, clearly upset, stepped in. “Alessia, if you come here to cause trouble, you can leave.”

The exchange escalated, and Kay felt old wounds reopening. Alessia had always known how to touch her weak spots, and Leah was caught in the middle. Eventually, Leah had to ask Alessia to leave, leaving Kay emotionally drained.

Despite the conflicts, the relationship between Kay and Leah continued to grow stronger. The emotional connection they shared was evident, and small displays of affection—a hand on the shoulder, an unexpected hug—began to evolve into something more.

One night, while watching a movie together, Leah leaned slightly toward Kay, resting her head on her shoulder. Kay, surprised at first, allowed the gesture and smiled.

It was a small moment of intimacy, but to Kay, it meant more than Leah could ever imagine.

Winter had come to the city, and with it, the streets of London were filled with Christmas lights and decorations. Kay, however, barely noticed the festivities. Her days were divided between physical therapy, medical adjustments, and increasingly intimate moments with Leah. However, the conflict with Alessia and the memories of the abuse at the military compound weighed on her like a constant shadow.

One morning, as Kay tried to adjust to the new exercise routine her physical therapist had recommended, Leah received an unexpected text from Alessia. She wanted to “talk.”

“Is it a good idea to give her space after what happened here?” Kay asked from her spot in the living room, as Leah checked the message.

Leah sighed, leaving her phone on the table. “I think it’s not just you, Kay. Alessia… she has issues to work out with herself.”

Kay raised an eyebrow. “Don’t justify what she does. She’s always found ways to make me feel like I’m worthless.” Leah walked over and knelt in front of Kay, placing her hands over hers. “No one has the right to make you feel that way. Not even Alessia.”

Kay wanted to believe her, but the years of emotional abuse she had endured were not easy to forget.

That afternoon, Leah went to Arsenal Stadium to meet Alessia after training. Alessia, who had been in a bad mood all day, was quick to spill the beans.

“What the hell are you doing with Kay?” Alessia asked bluntly as Leah closed the door to the meeting room.

Leah, trying to remain calm, replied, “I’m looking out for her. Something no one else is doing.”

“Looking out?” Alessia let out a sarcastic laugh. “Since when do you need to play savior?”

Leah frowned. “This isn’t a game, Alessia.” Kay has been through things that neither you nor I can imagine, and instead of supporting her, you--

“Don’t lecture me!” Alessia interrupted, slamming her hands on the table. “Kay has always been a burden. Every time I tried to stand out, she was there, ruining everything.”

Leah felt her patience wearing thin. “You know what ruins everything, Alessia? Your inability to see her as anything more than a reflection of your insecurities.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Alessia hadn’t expected such a direct response, and for a moment, she didn’t know what to say.

“This isn’t over, Leah,” she finally said, before leaving the room.

That night, Leah returned to the apartment emotionally drained. Kay noticed her expression and decided it was time to share something she had been holding back.

“What happened?” Kay asked as Leah plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Your sister… doesn’t understand anything,” Leah replied, massaging her temples.

Kay sighed and looked out the window. “It’s because she’s never seen me as her sister, Leah. I was always ‘the other Russo.’ The one with no talent. The one who didn’t fit in.”

Leah turned to her, surprised by the tone of vulnerability in her voice.

“You want to know why I joined the Royal Navy?” Kay asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Leah nodded, knowing Kay needed to vent.

“I saw an ad online while I was looking for a job. It seemed like a way to escape everything… from Alessia, from my family, from myself. I wanted to prove that I could do something for myself, something that no one could take away from me.”

Kay paused, her hands shaking as she recalled those days.

“But even then… it was never enough. And then… then came the hospital.”

Leah took her hand, giving it a gentle but firm squeeze. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

Kay shook her head. “I need to. Because if I don’t, those things are going to keep haunting me.”

Then, Kay began to speak, detailing the horrors she had endured. She described the time when she had arrived at the hospital very badly injured thinking that what had happened was her fault, or that it was all karma for being fragile and not facing things, where she would rather a thousand times have her die than have a partner who had a family that loved him.

“There was a doctor… I will never forget her face.” She told me I was a failure, that someone in a wheelchair was nothing anymore, that I was wasting valuable Navy resources that could be used on soldiers who would go back into combat, I… I can’t take it anymore.” Kay paused, taking a deep breath.

Leah hugged her tightly, unable to hold back her tears. “God, Kay… I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”

“I don’t want you to see me as a victim, Leah.” Kay rested her forehead on Leah’s shoulder. “I just want to be someone who deserves… something.”

“You deserve everything, Kay. And I’m here to remind you of that every day.”

Despite everything, Kay began to find small moments of peace in her life with Leah. They began to spend more time together, sharing stories and laughing despite the circumstances.

One night, as Leah read a book on the couch, Kay leaned into her, resting her head on her shoulder. Leah smiled and set the book aside, putting an arm around Kay.

“You know?” —Leah said after a while. —I never thought I'd find someone I wanted to share so much with.

Kay looked up, surprised by the confession. —And me?

—You're that person, Kay. My person, my forever.

For the first time in a long time, Kay felt like maybe, just maybe, she had a place in the world where she truly belonged.

[babsaros]

being evicted from my "home" suddenly after 5 years and need support

Hi all, i really really really hate that I have to make this post, and the background feels too personal to get into, but after 5 years of living here in what i thought was an amicable and indefinite arrangement, I am being forced to find alternate housing as my relationship with our landlord has completely deteriorated over this winter. My girlfriend and I have until the 31st to be completely moved out. We intend to follow through on this no matter if we have somewhere else secured or not. Living out of our car would be preferable to dealing with any more hostility or attempts at manipulation from our landlord. I work 30+ hours a week in retail, my girlfriend does online sex work and has a potential part time job lined up as well, but because this is so unexpected we have basically no savings. I have some very dear, generous friends offering to spot us on moving costs and first month's rent, as long as I can find somewhere, but I would prefer not to rely on them so heavily. It doesn't make me feel any better to e-beg, but know that I will be immensely grateful for any amount of support we receive at all, especially when I know so many other people are in equally vulnerable positions, including those attempting to survive and flee the genocide in Palestine.

If you are not in a position to donate, please do not feel pressured to! Just sharing this post would also be incredibly helpful, and I sincerely thank anyone who gives us support in any way.

I can offer small doodles as compensation for donations, though please bear in mind my turn-around may take longer than normal as I deal with everything else. I have full commission info and slots on kofi, and you can see more of my art style on my blog. Anyone interested in supporting my girlfriend through OnlyFans can DM me for the link to her page.

Book-ending this post with a picture of my cat, to make myself feel better. I love him more than the world. He's cuter than the two of us anyway, and deserves to be warm and safe.

[theroseiswithoutawherefor]

                                                                         Box

So...As I said before, this is the big project three of my friends(X @MAGIMARU @__olddoll @Pan991106) and I were busy with! DIR EN GREY MONOPOLY 2024.

Basically, it’s a game that took us about 6 months to complete and recorded the whole year of Diru. Actually none of us had done such a thing before or foreseen the process to be so exhausting. But yeah, we made it and gave it to every member in Osaka!!

An overall look of the game first

Map

                                                            Cards type1<named special events>

                                                Cards type2<named normal cards>

Cards type3<named magic world>

【MAP】

As shown, the map starts from 正月(January) and club citta, which was the venue of My Bloody Vampire, the very first show of Diru in 2024. Followed by Europe tour, Psychonnect, Androgynos and Who Is This Hell For, each space is named after the exact venue.

【RULES】

Concerned over language barriers, we tried to keep everything clear and simple, especially the rules.

Like normal monopoly, getting your money from the bank, collecting your token, rolling the dice, buying/selling properties(venues) and taking actions based on the space you end up on. That’s it!

Money(ordered by members’ ages and decorated by their signatures we received in 2024)

(btw the currency is called TRK, short for toriko虜)

Game manual

                                                                         Tokens

There are four kinds of spaces:

property space

When you are on a property space, you can choose to buy it and charge the rent.

chance space 1 for Cards type1<特別事件 special events>

chance space 2 for Cards type 2<普通事件 normal cards>

chance space 3 for Cards type 3<魔法世界magic world >

When you land on a chance space, you need to draw a card and follow the instructions. You may even get powerful tools there!

it’s even simpler than normal monopoly I feel haha

Types of cards

                                                               

【特別事件 special events】

This kind took me most of the time(I did almost all the drawings and design except for a very few cards and the tokens), so I will begin with it.

Like what I indicated before, you can draw a special event card when you land on a corresponding space. Each player/member can find their own special cards originated from their experiences in 2024.

*actually each one of them has 10 cards respectively, but technically it’s impossible to explain all of them, so I’m sorry to leave out some.

【Kyo’s part】

I finished kyo’s part first! From left to right, it indicates:

-kyo mentioned it was rly nice to have Arukuma at the venue and he wanted to see Kyoto’s mascot too, so I kinda joked about it

-the very famous HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL LOL

-kyo said it in a sukekiyo’s live around July, dont call me kyo or any name, say sukekiyo様(lord sukekiyo) instead and if you wanna happiness, buy a pot from me!(it was refering to a piece of cult news I guess)

-the sticker of his early age was sold out and Kyo hated it!!

-kyo mentioned he had Unadon three days in a row back in Nagoya, although it was him who wanted to eat Unadon the first

-he forgot his suitcase which was full of his personal clothing and shocked to see Poland was snowing when he woke up in Europe

-Kyo’s birthday live

-his instore, and he did a lot of cute doodles

【shinya’s part】

-all the members took photos of shinya’s legs and he was kinda embrassed about it lol

-he really likes sea otter!

-he was kinda robbed by a deer in Nara

-In order to film his youtube video, Shinya arrived at the venue 2 hours earlier but Toshiya surprisingly arrived earlier too!! Unsurprisingly Toshiya laughed at him, took a pircture, posted it on instagram and our poor Fujieda manager was being told off by shinya imao

-shinya passed漢字能力検定(a difficult language test of Japanese kanji)and received a certificate

-shinya posted a pic of sea otter as a reponse to kyo’s tweet saying his legs look great lol

-shinya collected all the mangazines of their vkei time and filmed a video

-his birthday event

-shinya was kinda obsessed with a Tiktok drama(he accidentally spotted the ad on instagram) and poured money into it.

【Die’s part】

-a collage of Die’s hometown Ise, Mie(all of us went to the show at Ise)

-he gave a MC there. It was rly touching

-he drank a lot of beer in Europe and treated Kaoru too(according to Thetheday)

-his birthday event

-he had his hair maintainance during the summer and it looked amazing(he posted it on Die’s mobile)

-his instore

-his 2nd instore(oh it must be tiring)

-his favorite baseball team 巨人（Yomiuri Giants） won the national champion of 2024 after beating Kaoru’s favorite team 阪神（Hanshin Tigers）

【Toshiya’s part】

-it’s also a joke related to Kyo’s card(the one of mascots) and Arukuma

-his photobook was published!! Congrats!

-his instore

-he streamed a cooking competition with Fujieda in the summer(the room was rly hot without AC)

-Toshiya celebrated his birthday in Berlin!(so I drew a little national flag on the plate and used sausages to decorate haha)

-he and Kaoru had a stream for Androgynos. They looked fine on the screen but they both admitted the chairs were so hard that their asses were hurt lol

【Kaoru’s part】

-Kaoru streamed with other TTT members to celebrate Boo’s birthday and drank a lot

-He misspelled his own name on TFOE(he also made a mistake on his birthday poster 長野虎之穴 and he corrected it by posting 野～～～！ On X)

-he had a holiday in Naha after Psychonnect (according to TTD)

-his birthday event(he designed several stamps to collect at the venue and I used the same layout when drawing it)

-A mini repo about how I got his pick in Nagoya

-the last episode of TFOE. He sang a song, ate shrimps and said byebye.

-Androgynos stream with Toshiya

-his instore. He doodled a lot and they kinda reminded me of Godzilla

-巨人 vs 阪神

【普通事件 normal cards】

-2024 was their 25th anniversary and we want to have another 25 years of Diru(so I drew 5 older them haha)

-1990120 was released

-Kyo was not rly happy with western food

-Kyo got mad on the stage

-Unext stream

-My bloody vampire caught the attention of local press bc fans covered with blood flocked to the street lol

-White Day

-the devil in me was released

-the stickers of Yokan were sold out! Congrats

-Dir en grey live film was out!

【魔法世界magic world】

Here comes my favorite kind! It was so enjoyable to draw. I guess it only took me around 2 or 3 days in total.

Bc it’s called magic world, it’s all about their babies(Idk how others call these cute little creatures, I just love to them their babies lol) and their pets. All the stories are around these non-human sweeties, while the only exception is the one on the right corner of the 1st row. The card is called Time machine, so I imitated kaoru’s self-portraits on his picks, indicating that this card can transfer current him to his younger time.

It’s a terrible pun i know lol

【summary】

Yeah that’s all!! Although it’s rly difficult to give a detailed introduction, we just finished it!! It rly took me so much time and energy, actually I was still working on it right before I flew to Sapporo mid November. I hope the members like the gift. And most importantly, I hope every diru fan enjoyed their 2024 and continuously enjoy Diru in the next coming years.

btw if anyone is curious about the workload, this is the screenshot↓

[angiethewitch]

things I did thinking I was being spiritual but it was actually a severe psychotic episode

to preface i am a pagan but let's be honest here this was straight up a mental health crisis

okay let's go

convinced myself there was a very angry poltergeist in my loft after I found out there was an old bed frame up there and it needed my help to move on but instead I threw salt up there and refused to let anyone walk underneath the loft opening

decided I had mastered the art of astral projection and I was travelling to astral planes and I could fly around the world while I was actually just lying there vividly hallucinating

straight up told people that my spiritual guides were gonna kill them like how did I expect them to do anything but laugh in my face

blood magic. like really dangerous stuff. thought I could bring my dead mother back to life by exchanging my life force for her own. hello?

vividly hallucinated my dead mother talking to me and fully believed she was a trapped spirit but nobody else could hear her and it was up to me to save her. all through her funeral she talked to me, she spoke to me for months. took me nearly a year to start dealing with her death and actually begin the grieving process

decided my husband was cursed and made him stand in the kitchen while I walked in a circle around him boiling herbs. poor bloke has dealt with so much

became convinced if I could just cast the right glamour spell at the right time I could breathe underwater and tested this out in the ocean like a very normal and sane individual

thought the wind was actually terrible forces speaking to me and delivering messages just for me so I became terrified of wind because I would have to sit outside and decipher the words that were clearly just for me

sewed a load of crystals onto a t shirt to protect myself from bad energies and called myself "the high priestess" and got very upset when people couldn't understand my power

understood that my cat was not actually a cat and was in fact the spirit of a 2500 year old druid priest sent to guide me in the form of a cat. Still called him Jinx though

started a journal where I detailed all the signs that the end of the world was coming

Read online that the colour red means angry so I desperately avoided the colour red because that meant the world was angry with me

tried to summon satan to terrorise my neighbour who was mean to me and fully believed it would work

decided I was immortal and imbued with the powers of ancient gods which led to some very risky and dangerous situations which I will obviously not detail here

there are many more examples but these are the most ridiculous ones

if you followed me for the witchcraft posts, im sorry. ive had to take a step back from it all for the sake of my own mental wellbeing. spirituality is a huge trigger for me. I tried practicing in moderation, I tried practicing just a little, but it is too much now. I had to unfollow a lot of witchcraft blogs because 1) they all seemed to collectively devolve into conspiracy theories and 2) i had to remove myself from the online witchcraft space. if you were wondering why I don't post about witchcraft anymore, this is why. I barely practice anymore, and when I do, I keep it private so im not encouraged by online validation.

please practice safely. always consider the mundane explanations first.

[kaliforniahigh]

So, I found some stuff I posted a while ago, but deleted by accident (who remembers when I deleted literally a month of posts by accident? LOL). This is one of them.

So, this is a repost from July 18th, 2024 :)

Imagine you getting home from work, it's nighttime already because you had to work overtime to fix something someone else screwed up.

You're so tired you literally don't even remember the drive home. You leave your shoes by the door and hang your coat. As you go up the stairs, you can hear Noah in the bedroom, complaining that someone shot his character. You guess he's probably gaming with the guys.

You slowly open the door a little more as to not startle him. He turns his head to look at you, and you walk over to him and squeeze his shoulder, leaning down for him to cradle one side of your head and give you a soft kiss on your lips.

He watches you from the corner of his eyes, as you go to the closet and pick up one of his sweatshirts and sweatpants that you have to draw the strings really tight for it not to fall.

It is not uncommon for you to wear his clothes, but he can tell you had a long day, and being engulfed in his smell always makes you feel better. He has butterflies in his stomach when he thinks about that.

You leave the room to take a warm and rather long shower, letting the water cascade down your back and wash away the stress of the day.

Noah would give anything to be in there with you, he would wash your hair, give your shoulders a good massage, but he knows you need a moment alone to decompress and gather your thoughts from the day.

When you come back, all fresh and warm and smelling of his body wash, he can't hold himself back from making grabby hands at you, scooting his chair away from the desk, and you accept his invitation immediately.

You straddle his hips, leaning your head on his chest, resting your hands on his sides, and he feels you letting out a big breath of relief when you feel his hands going up and down your back, travelling up to scratch your scalp. He hugs you and gives you a thight squeeze, and it is as if you never felt such relief in your life.

After a few minutes, his hands go back to his controller, but he leans his head down from time to time to give you a kiss to the crown of your head. Or to smooth his thumb over your cheekbone in-between rounds on his game.

Ultimately, you feel your eyes getting tired, your body relaxing more and more into his.

"Sleep baby, I'll be here to hold you", he whispers to you, and you let your eyes shut, finally feeling at peace for the first time today.

Tag list: @concreteangel92 @foliosgirl @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @stardustsirenmelody @miwomens @concretejunglefm @fadingangelwisp @prettygirlrock126 @dontwantthemoney @tosoundlessdarkistare @babygirlchuuya @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @lacy1986 @romanreigns-supreme @xmads-omensx @missduffsblog @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @badomensgoodomens @floatingkiwi @collective-heartbreak @dontwantthemoney @dream-machine-love @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @amelia-acero @kenjipepsi1 @montgomery-929496 @daddy-dierkes-girlie @stardustsirenmelody @cheyyyyr @triedbimsoblu333 @xxkatsatwatwafflexx @noyaisasimp @youlookforultraviolet @w0manof-flesh44 @chaoticwineaunt @geminigirlfromfinland @zozaline @deardelirium @ferduttini @turn-your-life-into-folklore @butterflyeffect07 @dominuslunae @shelbyrlxoxo @super-btstrash-posts @shayzillaaaa @kaylacosmic @wordskeeper @enemiestolovershoe @chicken-tender-slut

[reality-detective]

I AM currently unable to post videos and have requested support to take a löök at it. The last time it didn't take them long, but if it does I will be using my back-up to do so.

@constantly-deactivated

If you haven't followed me there yet, you may want to just in case I lose this blog. I do my best to not violate their community guidelines and so far I have been successful.

My back-up was my fourth account here and I fought for 10 months to get it back before winning. Meanwhile I started this one and I had excellent support from brothers and sisters to help me to achieve the following I have today.

@surprising-world-we-live-in

@plausability-spectrum

@usmcfe

@rem64

@redwhtnblue2020

@unindoctrinated125

@awakenfromthyslumber

@justmeagain4

@plausability-spectrum

@towerofhealthsix

@starseedpatriot

@twinflamedreams

@carlthesolarguy-blog

@csasso

@cabroncochino

@oww666

If you are not following these 👆 people... Please do! They ARE my tribe and I have a lot of respect and love for them. 💫

[shirecorn]

Ornaments closing, The struggle! (and how much i appreciate everyone)

I will be making a post about the reindeer ornaments closing this week until they open again for the indiegogo in the summer. I make them in batches, so it won't be feasible to keep individual orders trickling in throughout the year.

If you know you want a set but can't buy one now, let me know and I will make sure I have a set made during the last batch, and I will hang onto it as long as you need me to.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScqQudyvlzWw73HGWG77pJRYEFQyisOlaEoY9KnE8idXMPE9Q/viewform

If you can buy a set now, please do!

<https://www.etsy.com/listing/1821374250/reindeer-team-ornaments?>

The revenue will help me find a place to live, and prove to landlords that I have an income. There's also cheaper stuff on my shop like stickers and keychains, and custom commissions of your pet.

Check me out!

Once reindeer season is over, I will be getting to my backlog of commissions, including mermaid and MLP requests, so keep a look out for those.

Right now I'm sitting in a library working on the deluxe sets to hopefully mail them. I'm couchsurfing, so my drawing/work station is in a bit of a kerfuffle, to put it mildly.

If you have money but don't want anything back, you can check out my kofi to put some coins in the horse and make it go.

Ko-fi.com/shirecorn

If you have money and want exclusive behind the scenes look at my process, prospects, and secret projects, please join my discord! Having a consistent monthly income will do wonders for my stability, and might help me get housing.

Hopefully tumblr doesn't decide to delete all these looks like it has been doing to recent posts. If you are able to support me monetarily, thank you so much! If not, just give me comments and attention, as those are the real reason I bother posting my stuff anywhere. If I didn't have to worry about food and bills, I would subsist entirely on attention.

I really appreciate every comment and encouragement! I read e v e r y t h i n g and l adore my followers.

Happy new year!

[smehur]

HP Rec Fest 2024 Summary

This event was delightful! I didn't have a rec for every day of December, but I did for most, and a good portion of the recs were for fics that aren't on any of my previous rec lists. I wanna list them all here for ease of reference, but also because:

✨ The artwork in all the banners is my own! ✨

It's scanned watercolor or acrylic on paper, all made in the last several months, mostly while listening to podfic :D

👉The pictures link to the original rec posts. Enjoy!

Albus Potter and the Elixir of Erised by @bettsfic

After dropping out of Hogwarts, Albus moves to London and deals an addictive potion to Muggles. Now the most wanted wizard in the country, he goes into hiding at Malfoy Manor, enduring terrible withdrawal which renders him powerless in the hands of his best friend's father: Draco Malfoy, the only man willing to help him.

Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain by @faith2wood

It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that's ever so cross.

A Present by @faith2wood

Sometimes you just have to give yourself a present and kiss Harry Potter.

Draco in Darkness by plumeria47

Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. After Harry elbows his way into Draco's dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other … and themselves.

The Sin in Your Grin (and the Shape of Your Mouth) by @xylodemon

The Order needed Sirius, but he doubted they'd mourn him very long when he finally disappeared.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl

Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

Running on Air by eleventy7

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

Alphabet Soup by @phoenixortheflame

Harry Potter, investigative reporter for the Daily Prophet, leads a perfectly adequate life. When he’s not trawling back-alleys for a juicy story, he’s playing tea party with his favourite niece or eating curry with his former house-elf. Draco Malfoy, renowned chef in muggle Paris, was perfectly content living a life of obscurity. But when his mother’s health begins to fail, he must return to wizarding London and face his past. When Harry gets an odd assignment to interview the enigmatic chef of the new muggle-wizard restaurant Le Cerf, he’s reunited with his childhood bully - and is reminded just how much a person can change in ten years. Hijinks, mystery, and food-related dirty talk ensue when Harry receives an anonymous tip of a blackmarket dragon trade and enlists Draco to be his concierge into the shady underworld of the wizarding elite.

Twilight Eternal by @hsvh-hp

Wherever Draco is, the sun sits eternally on the precipice of setting. His father feeds his peacocks on the manor grounds. Harry is the only one who can communicate with Draco. A malevolent force haunts the house, nipping at Draco’s heels. Draco intended for himself to come to this place. He only wishes he could remember why.

A Doll's Tale by @faith2wood

Harry/Draco, as observed by Draco's childhood doll. Please note, this doll is very self-absorbed.

Per my last letter (I hope you choke on it) by @fluxweeed & @lastontheboat

Dear Mr Potter, The answer is, and will remain, a no. Sincerely, Draco Malfoy Accounts Manager, Phoenix Press Or: the one where Harry has writer’s block and Malfoy isn’t helping.

Turn by Saras_Girl & podfic by Queenie_Mab

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

The Boy from the Piano Shop by @soliblomst

After going blind in a reckless attempt to avenge Ginny's death, Harry battles with severe depression. One day, he stumbles upon a quaint piano restoration shop in the heart of London and meets the owner, a kindly old man, and his introverted young apprentice, whose voice sounds strangely familiar. As Harry and Draco slowly reconnect through private piano lessons, the small workshop becomes Harry's refuge, offering him a glimmer of hope in a world without eyes. (Set five years after the Battle of Hogwarts)

A Dark Place in Time by Leporella

What on earth was her son thinking, falling for Harry Potter of all people, Narcissa wonders. But after the death of her husband, she finds him useful in many, and sometimes surprising, regards.

vapour by @yiiiiiiiikes25

Draco's getting cruised. Isn't he?

Probationary Action by @toomuchplor

As part of the terms of the probationary contract, DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY shall submit for inspection his WAND on the last day of every month, such inspection to be carried out by a duly registered and fully qualified AUROR in the employ of the MINISTRY OF MAGIC, and such inspection to include a PRIORI INCANTATEM spell to ensure that no PROHIBITED MAGICS as heretofore described have been practised by the aforementioned probationer.

The Illusion that One Can Get Things Right by umbrellaless22

Blindsided by Ginny's sudden departure from his life, Harry struggles to care for his family—replete with a new baby. The situation plummets from disarray to pandemonium just as Draco Malfoy arrives to drop Scorpius off for a visit, because of course it does.

Glory by @mintawasalreadytaken

Every boy at Hogwarts knew about the hole.

A Case of You by @epitomereally

Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down. Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.

with a fabulous Podfic by @cailynwrites

You can also see all my HP Rec Fest 2024 posts here. 👈

[old-fandom]

Going off of my post of Stancest being gawked at during their love making on the boat by anomaly, I raise that the same thing happens at the Mystery Shack.

Stan and Ford come home for the season with the twins. They're so busy getting themselves and the kids settled, getting ready for the busy season, getting their boat checked and upgraded after being hauled from the harbor to the Shack. All of that while having to remind themselves to stay hidden in their affections and remain relatively platonic in front of the others. They aren't at sea anymore. They do have to be careful with what they do, they don't need others poking in on their business.

So one night, after everyone has gone to bed and most things have finally settled, Stan is out back on the couch smoking. It's 1am and he thinks he's up by himself, looking into the dark woods, when he feels Ford come out. At first, it's just to check up on him. They haven't been a part in months now and so that sense of needing to be right next to each other is so strong, especially now they were romantically involved. Stan tells him he's fine then pats the couch.

Ford comes to sit next to him but Stan is having none of it. He puts an arm around him and practically gets Ford to cuddle up next to his side, which he does, but not without a whispered warning. They were still outside and the kids could be awfully sneaky when they want to be. So they sit and cuddle and relax but Stan wants more. He has been deprived of his lover, so he kisses him softly. Ford warns him again but Stan just looks at him like he's hung the stars. He's so beautiful. Stan kisses him again, putting his cigar in the ash tray next to him.

Ford...Ford is a weak man. He kisses Stan back, wrapping his arms around his neck, leaning all the way in. Finally, Stan picks Ford up and puts him on his lap, hands gripping his thighs. Ford has his hands in Stan's hair while they neck like teenagers. Finally, Ford starts kissing down Stan's neck, and Stan is immersing himself in the feeling. He's missed this so much.

He doesn't know what came over him but he cracked open one of his eyes behind Ford and froze.

A slew of supernatural creatures, some he recognized and some he did not, were standing or crouching in the yard, watching them. Gnomes, the Hide-Behind, Eye-bats, a few fairies, a random Manotaur, a unicorn, and even Steve. Ford tells that Stan has frozen up and looks behind him.

All of the beasts and the Stans are stuck looking at each other. While trying to make sure that the humans didn't see them, they never thought the anomalies of Gravity Falls would see them.

They all get sworn to secrecy by Stan, seeing how he is still revered as their Hero and because he is not afraid to punch any of them. The merpeople in the ocean were different, they didn't follow them home, but this. This was too close to home.

The rest of the summer is spent with Ford and Stan keeping a low profile in front of people and other anomalies, but no matter what they did, they always seemed to attract one supernatural entity.

Ford has chalked it up that because they themselves are anomalous separately (6 Fingers/Possible Weirdness Attractor) and are anomalous together (Incest), it attracts others to seek them out. (Ford would make deals with them to let them watch them go all the way if they will answer any and all of his research questions)

Stan thinks they are just gross voyeurs that see and opportunity and take it. (He's not opposed to fuck Ford in the woods while they watch, especially it makes them all aware who Ford belongs to.)

[not-poignant]

Stupid question, but I remembered seeing you mention having monthly minimum wordcounts on one of your previous posts and I wanted to ask if you're a professional writer? Because at first I was like "that sounds so stressful"* and then I realized that it makes a lot more sense if you're doing it for a living.

*Also acknowledging that people are different from each other and what is stressful for one person might be productive and useful for another.

I am a professional writer!

My original serials are my job, basically, and they're supported by generous folks at Patreon and Ream. That, in turn, allows me to do this in a more professional and focused way, vs. say just as a hobbyist who doesn't update for 9 months at a time. It also lets me share my works for free, in a fandom friendly manner, which lets me keep doing something I love in a way I love to do it, but in a way which is like...I guess more reliable than you'd necessarily be if you were only doing it for fun.

I can instead pledge high fidelity/loyalty to my main serials through thick and thin (hence my wild author's notes), which means folks following WIPs get to know they'll be finished, and I get to enjoy doing this for a living! It's hard, but it's a good hard. Except for taxes.

As for my monthly minimum, that actually started as a way to break out of the very ableist 'you should write every day' (as a professional writer) which is literally impossible for me and my chronic illnesses. I sometimes have big chunks of time where I can't write, sometimes weeks! And where it would be unhealthy for me to make myself.

(More about my writing process beneath the Read More!)

Alongside that, I have quite severe dyscalculia (think dyslexia but with numbers and directions and left and right lol) so I can't keep a 'running wordcount' because the numbers confuse me too much. Luckily, because my writing life is defined by chapters completed (and not novels), I count the wordcount of every finished chapter only. Unfinished chapters don't count! My growing wordcount per month grows only when that draft is finished (my drafts are clean, so chapters only tend to grow or shrink by about 100-150 words per edit, so give or take it all evens out).

It's not how any other author I know does it, but it works so well for me that I've been doing it for nearly a decade now.

I started the monthly minimum (which currently is 25k words per month) because I tend towards being a workaholic, and so my therapist and I established a minimum not as an unreachable goal that's hard to meet, but as an easy goal that's generally effortless for me to reach in good months, and average months, and even many bad ones. After I hit 25k words per month, if I crash, feel burnt out, feel awful, or life gets Life-y in a bad way, I have permission to stop writing. I can just stop. Everything else is gravy. (Though secretly I always want to hit 30-35k but shhh).

When I hit 50k words, I also have to stop immediately and take a mandatory 3-5 day break from writing even if I want to keep writing. Because I don't know it yet, but I'm probably exhausted on at least some level, lol.

I didn't hit 50k at all last year and there is at least one therapist who would be really proud of me about that even though I feel kind of guilty about it, lol.

Here's an example of my tracking:

You can see the chapters I've written, which dates I've written them. They're colour coded, so I can see at a glance if I'm writing enough of a story or not. And then on the far right is an addition of every month's wordcount.

April was so low because I took an intentional writing holiday (which I'll be doing again ideally in March this year). December was so low because December sucks.

And then I erase it all at the end of the year and start again. The blank whiteboard is actually very motivating to write that first chapter because I always feel like I haven't done anything until then.

This whiteboard is two feet away from where I write quite literally, and is never moved etc. so I have a yearly tracker basically that's extremely visible (super helpful to my ADHD brain, because if I put this in a spreadsheet I'll stop updating it after 3 weeks and then forget it exists). The colour coding gives me dopamine, so does adding chapters.

Also acknowledging that people are different from each other and what is stressful for one person might be productive and useful for another.

This is true! This is actually the least stressful way of doing things for me.

That being said, anon, it's still super stressful. Being a serial writer is one of the most stressful things you do, because you have constant and never-ending deadlines for years. Novelists can kind of escape this, in a way, because they can't release novels as often as I release chapters. But I have to be mentally switched on at least 8 times a month, re: putting work out there, making sure it's at least semi-polished, making sure I let everyone know, and tracking responses because obviously, unlike a novel, if you lose interest you can't just "skip ahead" you simply lose your readers. A lot of novelists couldn't live or work this way, a) because they couldn't write a hooky serial and b) because many realise that having to update all the time is really exhausting actually. There's a kind of social labour to updating a serial, and getting it Right every single time. One of my greatest fears that I have nightmares about

Serial writing is the most stressful kind of writing I've ever done (and I've done a few different kinds), I just happen to like the adrenaline rush of this kind of writing, and I happen to work well under a controlled level of stress! I know that, because I've been doing this for over 10 years, refining it, figuring out how to make it healthier (it was really unhealthy at first), getting better at it, figuring out my weak points (some of them are still weak points) etc. I actually think I'm pretty good at it now!

I'm also getting better at not thinking my entire career is over if I take 2 weeks off.

I went from being entirely dependent on a Disability Pension, and like, sometimes having to skip meals and doctor's appointments and even medication due to money issues (the Disability Pension is ironically not enough if you have mental health issues because our subsidised healthcare doesn't cover mental health adequately and Australia has no food stamps system), to being able to live a bit more freely and support my chronic health stuff a bit more because of writing this way!

For the first time ever through these stories I was able to afford a psychiatrist, and a few other things I really desperately have needed since I was a teenager. So being able to write like this, even when it's really hard and I'm really tired, feels still like a miracle to me. I've never been well or healthy enough to work a full-time job with typical 9-5 hours, and always kind of was stuck imagining a life where I'm just...never knowing how to afford certain things, to being in a position where I'm fairly confident I can get my meds every month, or pay for my dog's pet food, etc. It's really nice.

But yeah honestly serial writing is the most stressful form of serial writing there is as soon as you lock it in as a professional job where you must meet nearly 10 deadlines every month and you happen to have pretty intense ADHD so deadlines make you scream a little.

Sometimes what is extremely stressful and sometimes even distressing for someone is also extremely productive and rewarding for them too. We probably wouldn't have a lot of emergency surgeons if that were the bar for how we decide what we do!

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Major Blog Update: Inbox Cleared, Life Updates, a big thank you and More!

First of all the big one:

The deed is done...The Inbox is dead.

Long live the inbox.

To get a fresh start, I've deleted the current inbox of all my asks.

The inbox memes, the nightmares...they're finally over...

ANYWAYS, feel free to send in any request you may have as per usual, just figured I clear that damn thing finally out considering I've had asks that are three years old in there.

Right now I'm really getting into Honkai: Star Rail since Natlan kinda killed my enjoyment of Genshin, but those gals I will still love and write for (I mean, I'm sure as heck not changing the blog url) so don't feel discouraged if you came to this blog because of my Genshin content. And of course my other fandoms are still good to rock and roll!

One last thing before the cut:

I want to thank EVERY ONE of you for following this blog and sticking around with my goofy ah for so long.

I genuinely get excited to read any message or request you put under my posts or inbox, whether it be feedback or joking around! And I know we have the memes going on about me being drowned, please know I do genuinely take the time to look at every single one that comes in everyday, even if I didn't say anything or respond. And it means the world to me that ya'll like my writing enough to continue asking of me.

You all are the reason I even put the effort I do in this blog for so many years, from my newer followers to those who have followed me since my first blog. I could not ask for a better group than ya'll.

From the bottom of my heart, thanks, and let's have a great year together!

ANYWHO: For those who care enough, this is what's been going on with me for the last few months.

Work:

As for why I've been absent for a while: simply put because I work a retail job. Thankfully nothing too bad, it's just normal scheduling and it IS work I very much enjoy and get paid relatively well. My love for writing is still very strong as is my simping, so no worries, I don't plan on going anywhere.

I DO greatly apologize for making everyone wait for literally ANYTHING, doubly so if you had an ask I didn't get to yet. I wanted to honestly save everything into my drafts, but alas I could only choose some select ones.

You're more than welcome to send it back in, and since things have calmed down I SHOULD be getting to them a lot faster.

Genshin:

In regards to what I said earlier about Genshin: Natlan kind of killed any enjoyment I had playing, characters were REALLY unappealing to me, it made my friends stop playing so therefore I stopped as well as that was the major reason I still had it installed. I don't really plan on adding anyone from Natlan or anyone else from that game in the future, so apologies if you were looking forward to that from me specifically.

Star Rail has been filling the hole in my heart and honestly? I have a lot more writing freedom writing the gals from there, but again, don't feel afraid to send me any genshin request! I still simp for my Mondstadt women after all.

Other things I've been doing/Ideas for the blog:

I've also been playing games (and getting distracted) with my irl friends and trying to catch up on my hobbies to prevent myself from burning out, Minecraft has been a big thing lately for me again: specifically Pixelmon LMAO.

For 2025 though, I plan to at least post an imagine once a week starting next week since things are still settling down and I have to get my work schedule.

I might also start posting (Eventually) my personal writing projects here to get feedback and possibly go to AO3 to post my crossover series since Tumblr isn't really the place to be doing so (Chief among them my FE3H AU: House Isekai), or if demand is high enough I'll post it here.

Oh, and with this major update I have once again updated my banner, not that it's really important, just that I put a good amount of effort in it, more than you'd think for how simple it is. I also want to see if anyone even gets my reference LMAO

Once this post goes live, I plan to add a few new characters, starting with the Commander from Girls' Frontline but we'll see how it goes.

I think that's all I got for right now, so see ya soon guys!

- Chris

[yichens]

edits i made in 2024 ✨

thanks for tagging me krish @i-got-the-feels [x] ♥ am also trying to incorporate the tumblr top ten posts into this bc i don't want to do that as it is, so thank you for tagging me into that antania @riggerbison [x] and zey @fadelsburger [x] ♥

Post your most popular and/or favorite edit/gifset for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagging: @forcebook @thamepo @chezlalune @ruanbaijie @luna-lina @srnileforme @wanderlust-in-my-soul no pressure and if you've done this or something like this already, please send it my way or tag me into the post's replies! i'd love to look at everybody's creations and give them some love :')

JANUARY: morkday + holding hands [x]

the most popular and tbh my personal favorite was this morkday edit i made based on a quote that is from the damn city of bones (2007) by cassandra clare. i didn't know that back when this quote punched me in the face and made me think about it for a couple of days but i honestly laughed when i finally googled it... worked out very well tho! i love hand symbolism, especially in last twilight, and the golden colors are lovely for them ♥ i also ended up loving the last image in this set even if i first struggled with the composition.

this was my number 1 post on my tumblr top ten.

(also gotta add that it still feels insane that last twilight was still going on in 2024... it feels like it was ages ago. i barely remember most of it anymore, probably bc of the heartbreak and trauma. i'm a changed person in january 2025)

rest of the months under the cut bc i ramble!

FEBRUARY: valentine's day vice versa rewatch [x]

my best decision for last year was to rewatch both my school president and vice versa during the time before valentine's day. it healed me, held me gently, filled me with love and warmth. am happy that the set i made after that to show love, once again, for the romance show and soulmates couple of all time was both my most popular and personal fave ♥ i love how the set turned out and how the colors work in this. i will forever be thankful to vice versa for its colors and overall brilliance.

this was my number 8 post on my tumblr top ten.

MARCH: 23.5 episode 3 [x]

it's a close call between several of my 23.5 episode edits but this happens to be the most popular one during this month. i never finished 23.5 which somehow saddens me, but towards the end, i just lost interest, and so this edit series was also left unfinished. i liked the concept tho and loved playing with the colors each week!

tribute to mork methas [x]

personal favorite cannot be any other edit than this bc i put all my heart into creating it. i am still so angry about what last twilight did to mork as a character; how all his trauma and pain was pushed aside, how the story never gave him the space and time he needed, how on top of all else they managed to butcher this amazing man. i don't even want to look at him in episode 12 bc i cannot recognize mork there. he is no that person, at least not to me. mork my beloved, i wish the writers didn't hate you so much </3

(btw i have this whole explanation/essay written under this post in my drafts. it's mostly me sharing in detail the thought process behind me making this edit and going through the several elements in it. if anyone is curious, i can post it, just holler haha)

APRIL: us / thamepo pilot crossover [x] [x]

the most popular edit for this month deserves to be the edit i made for the us pilot that was revealed during gmmtv 2024 part 2. i am still very excited to see the show itself and follow their filming journey occasionally on twt. i am just soooo ready to break my heart over the tragic lesbians woven together with strings of comfort, self-discovery, and heart ache.

this was my number 2 post on my tumblr top ten.

i picked the thamepo sister set as my personal fave bc i cannot separate these two. it was fun to connect them together and switch around the dialogues we hear in these pilots bc they just worked. they had very similar vibes and both talked about somewhat forbidden love. no wonder am currently so into thamepo (i hope it stays that way, am done with all the disappointment i've experienced with shows lately).

this was my number 4 post on my tumblr top ten.

MAY: 23.5 episode 9 [x]

the most popular set of the month. not much else to comment. i love the shot of ciize in this one, she's so cute :(

puentalay k-i-s-s-i-n-g [x]

my favorite for this month! a very impulsive edit that happened solely bc this ear worm of a song (that puen would def listen to) wouldn't leave me alone. it's silly, it's fun, it's cute, it's sexy, it's passionate. it's everything i could ask for! i honestly had a ton of fun with this edit despite having to edit a bazillion (26) separate images for this. the fact that those images are mostly of puentalay kisses makes it worth it.

JUNE: we are episode 12 [x] / 11 [x]

during summer, i was deep in my we are era. i honestly loved each set i made for the series bc for the longest time, i've wanted to make sets like this. i had my struggles with some of them but they all worked out in the end! episode 12 was the most popular one and episode 11 is just my personal favorite bc i love the purple + hints of yellow/golden -combo.

JULY: we are final episode [x]

to honor this show and all its relationships, from romantic to platonic, i decided on a rainbow set. it worked super well and i am happy it was so popular ^^ i miss this whole bunch and the amazing summer we had together. (sorry about the quality of this screenshot, the set is too long to fit it on my screen hhh)

this was my number 10 post on my tumblr top ten.

morkday + pvris songs [x]

probably my favorite set i've made this year overall. my whole year was defined by pvris's music (my spotify top artist) and it felt appropriate to link it together with morkday (and puentalay). i love the layout of this set, the colors, the noise. getting into the lyrics and choosing fitting parts for each image was the best part. my favorite image in the set is the last one that i started from while creating this set. i love the background image for that so much. another one i like is the green one for anywhere but here, bc of the image itself but also bc of the song and its message.

AUGUST: we are couples [x]

due to traveling around a lot in august and being exhausted from that, i didn't create much. but i am extremely happy with this set that is both the most popular and my personal favorite! everything about this one just worked out. i feel like it really summarizes all of these couples and shows their different sides.

as a fun fact, i have to say that i never put too much thought into choosing the animals for each couple, other than picking the bird for chainpun (for obvious reasons). cat for phumpeem came through peem more than phum who is very dog coded to me. instead, dog (or wolf?) ended up with tanfang bc of tan's puppy-like nature. qtoey getting the bunny feels like a stroke of genius given to me during the making of this set bc looking at it now, it's perfect. they have that sweetness and energy in them i connect with rabbits.

SEPTEMBER: sanvee + moon phases [x]

ok i might have lied in the july part bc this might be my overall favorite edit i made in 2024. creating it was a battle tho, and i felt like screaming for the best part of the process bc nothing felt like it was working out and i had a ton of problems while figuring out the aesthetic and the typo and the texts. but it all came together better than i ever expected and i just love this set now. i was happy to see ppl liked this too, so this is the most popular edit of this month.

(oab)plawan + hurt by sleeping at last [x]

it's hard to pick a favorite for this month – despite the sanvee edit already being my obvious FavoriteTM – bc i also love my set for miss mhon (day's mother) [x] that let me went my frustration towards her and my puen x phum parallels set [x] that makes me feel wrong in the head. but i loved this love doesn't have long beans a crazy amount compared to how short and silly that show was. there's just something about oab and plawan - about sailub and pon. they dragged me deep into places with this show and this edit is my ode to that. it was fun to make in its simplicity, i love the colors in it, and pon as plawan is just too pretty (especially when he cries).

OCTOBER: pluto episode 1 [x]

considering how popular pluto has been and how desperate we all are for gls, am not surprised this set is the most popular one for this month. tbh all my pluto edits have been doing quite well in my standards. i love making these so am just happy you guys like looking at them ♥

pit babe pairs + cartomancy [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

never thought 2024 had a sudden pit babe obsession in its sleeve for me but i decided to embrace it. they've talked that the second season would start airing in april, after boys' journey s2 has ended most likely, and i am so very normal about all thi. i've fallen in love with all these boys, both the characters (more than i already was) and the actors, and this edit series only made everything worse. i haven't spent this much time researching things for an edit in a while and i just loved all the analysis i got to do. the process had its ups and downs but overall, i have to say i had a blast.

(picture chosen purely bc i vibed with this kim picture today, tho the kentakim edit might also be my favorite in the set bc the yellow is so good)

NOVEMBER: pluto episode 4 [x]

absolutely deserves to be the most popular set of this month! it's also my personal favorite out of all the edits i've made for pluto. the colors for this one just worked super well and the scenes are perfect, too. let's see how the series ends in two days, i hope i manage to find some fitting colors for the last episode, too :'D

this was my number 6 post on my tumblr top ten.

DECEMBER: yuanyi + you can love him, but you can't keep him [x]

the most popular set and also my favorite of this month, all bc i've gone down the rabbit hole with fangs of fortune. i spent an embarrassing amount of time making this set with all its details; starting from screenshotting the whole damn show and then picking the pictures for this edit from the over 400 images i got, to drawing the golden lines by myself on my drawing tablet so i got them just like i wanted. i shall be making so many more edits for this show, be warned.

this was my number 7 post on my tumblr top ten.

top 10 posts of 2024 then are:

morkday + hands (381 notes)

us pilot (295 notes)

last twilight episode 11 (285 notes)

thamepo pilot (283 notes)

jimmysea for starry magazine (271 notes)

pluto episode 4 (252 notes)

yuanyi + you can love him (231 notes)

vice versa rewatch 2024 (222 notes)

last twilight episode 10 (211 notes)

we are final episode (207 notes)

(you can check your top ten posts here)

it was fun to look back into my year in edits like this and see how i've gone through so many phases in 12 months. i cannot even recognize the person i was in around, let's say, last february. or during summer. it's insane how the night changes or however that thing goes.

thank you if you read this far, and if you've liked my creations or left nice tags under them, i thank you even more! it's an honor to be creating to everybody here and i am grateful that others keep enabling me even when i usually create for myself and maybe two other ppl. it is very important to me tho that i get to be part of this amazing community and don't need to just yell into the void by myself ♥

[geothewriter]

Vermillion Seas Cardinal Skies: Chapter 24 - The South

The opportunity to finally release years of pent-up fury arrives for Katara. Will she still be herself on the other side?

--

Happy New Year y'all! I've been busy busy busy, so unfortunately, the idea of finishing posting the entire fic by Christmas is long gone, but we'll be reaching the endgame soon enough! Boy, it's 2025 now. I would have never guessed that I'd still be writing this fic, but you know how it goes!

This chapter is definitely long in coming. It's another of those that I've had in the back of my mind for how I wanted it to go for months, so it's great to finally get to share it!

As always, MASSIVE shoutout to Achillmango for her awesome editing <3 She's the bomb, and I couldn't have done this without her.

Now then, please enjoy Chapter 24 - The South!

The gentle rumbling of the airship engines almost lulls her into a sense of ease. Almost. The world around her and back home is so filled with problems– problems that she cannot avoid– problems that force her to refuse any sort of satisfying rest. After all, how could she relax? They’re en route to the Fire Nation. Her fate awaits her. She failed. Her men saw her failure and no matter the fear she’s put into them, they’ll surely speak of what the Avatar did.   As much as she hates to admit it, the only way she was going to survive that fall, she knows, was with his help. She recalculates the moments again and again in her mind. Blasting from the top of the ship, falling through the air, impacting the wall, losing consciousness, then–  Her only hope would have been to jab her crown hairpin into the rocks, but she failed even that. She doesn’t deserve to be here. To be alive. And yet.  I forgive you. She knows that from anyone else, this wouldn’t have any effect on her. That stupid naive kid meant it with all that he is. Zuko would’ve been lying. Anyone else would be obviously lying. But him. That stupid kid.  How can she make sense of all this? Can she even go back home? The burgundy reds of her room feel suffocating now, completely at odds with the feeling she had experienced atop the ship. Why is that voice in her head so intent on ruining her life? The voices she corrects herself. There are two. One younger, and one with depth of experience.  With an exasperated sigh, she tries to discount her imagination. They can’t be real. She’s just under a lot of stress, that’s all.  Azula, Zuko, promise me you’ll look out for each other.  The words come back to her, clear as any cloudless sky, and she’s struck then, by the clarity of her mind. She’s never generated lightning as quickly as she did when firing toward the combustion bender. Only someone with total focus could do such a thing. Someone like Father. Someone with a singular ambition. Someone who knows their place in the world.  Not even Father is that fast. Part of the clarity brings realization. The voice she heard begging her and reminding her of a promise made as a child. It is Mother’s voice. Why here? Why now? She’s long gone, never to be seen again. How could her voice reach her– it must only be in her mind. Does a part of herself want to keep Zuko alive? Does she lack the conviction to follow through with Father’s orders? She even allowed the Avatar to escape unscathed.  It’s what Mother would have wanted, she knows. But this isn’t what she wants. Is it?  Her goal always has been and always will be to be the perfect princess. To be the gem of Father’s eye. To be perfect in all she does. Why is she slipping up now when the journey is at its end? She clenches and releases her hands and watches as they tremble and shake uncontrollably. “There’s good in everyone, even you.” What’s that supposed to mean? Good in everyone? As if she isn’t good? She’s doing what’s right for her nation, for her people for–  The door cracks open and the wide-eyed captain of the airship nudges the door further. “Princess, by orders of Fire Lord Ozai, we are making way for Caldera City. Are we to make any deviations within reason?” He clears his throat meaningfully.

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