#i WILL be traumatizing them and throwing them around like little ragdolls

[daftdrac]

Hey so I was scrolling YouTube and clicked on a life steal video without knowing it was life steal. It was a Pentar video, entitled "I Created A Secret Minecraft Civilization" obviously based around creating a secret 'team' of sorts, behind the back of his teammate, ECorridor, as revenge because he believes he's keeping his own secret from him after the two made a pact not to lie. I spent an hour and fifteen minutes watching this video, engaged in the idea of the betrayal one might feel to lead them to do something like that, only to get a gayass speech at the end from ECorridor about how he's not actually immortal because he died with only one witness and kept it from everyone, including Pentar, for months, because he felt guilty about dying after Pentar had put so much effort into protecting him.

Someone tell me why I clicked on this video expecting silly shenanigans and walked out of it carrying two more absolutely ridiculous gays in my little belt bag of queer ships /silly

[dimepdf]

★  𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇-𝐀, 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇-𝐀, 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄. + 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐎'𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀

masterlist. / taglist. / tip jar. synopsis. no matter how many times you try to convince yourself that Miguel is the bane of your existence, the way you react during training proves otherwise.

─── ☆ notes. i need fics of miguel being an absolute dick, like a petty bitch just for the hell of it i need more attitude yk? Like if that man isn't calling me a slut it ain't canon! | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

─── ☆ length. 4.3k (33 min read).

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | no spoilers | smut, enemies to lovers, maybe mutual pining, fighting and violence, semi public sex, gym sex, mentions of abuse, size difference, pain kink, strength kink, degradation kink, manhandling, power play(?), begging, rough sex, cervix kissing, choking, fangs, biting, marking, cunnilingus, eye contact, hair pulling, creampie, open ended, not an taiyo fic without a few typos.

IF YOU ASKED any of the other Spider-men what they loved so much about being Spider-Man, their answers would all be the same, ranging from "the suit" to "the enhanced abilities." It was a no-brainer that being a superhero came with a few awesome perks.

Which was why your answer was just a bit confusing, "the combat." You would always smile, despite the many eyebrows raises and looks that convinced you you had to be some type of overcover masochist, especially since you would never really go into true detail about why.

Your reasoning behind putting on the mask was similar to all the others: another traumatized kid being thrown into a whole new reality that you never would have dreamed of being possible.

Sadly, you had been raised with the loss of most of your loved ones, and your family was in shambles from the abuse you would go through from them. It was the reason why it was difficult for you to grow up and make many friends, let alone navigate your abilities on your own accord, which was why it was a whole different ball game when you first joined the spider society.

When you first met Miguel O'Hara, you thought he was an overly intimidating man with an even more scary personality. Your aesthetics and morals would clash in the first few run-ins you would have with him.

In all honesty, you first thought him to be a massive dick who surprisingly needed more therapy than you did. From his bored expression to his unnerving glare, it was clear upon the first introduction that you two just would not get along.

Which was why the universe made him the only spider person willing and with enough free time to train you. It came as a surprise to you both, who are usually butting heads. Miguel was adamant about not wanting to waste his time training some little girl who didn't even know how to throw a punch.

With much shit-talking on your part and a lot of teasing claims of him being afraid that you were going to kick your ass, training had quite literally started in full swing.

It was probably a bad move on your part to push the buttons of the guy who was teaching you how to fight. Miguel was clear with his fight-style techniques. He was nimble with his limbs and swift on his feet. It was hard for anyone to get a hit on him, especially since he wasn't the type to hold back his punches. 

His teaching style was the same: your sessions included throwing you around as if you were some ragdoll and picking you up as if you weighed nothing, just to slam you into the ground with full bruising force.

There would be some very rare occasions when you would manage to get the upper hand on him. Miguel was about a foot taller than you, not to mention how pathetically compressed you looked standing next to him. You learned that the only way you could manage to get the upper hand was by using your size difference to your advantage.

All the sessions you won were hosted by you managing to tangle yourself from his claws and climb his towering figure into a headlock, praying that you had enough strength in your legs to make him tap out.

"How is she not dead yet?" Miles would mutter, looking concerned, as he stood from the sidelines of the training room, watching one of your sessions, as the blonde by his side didn't even wince at the sound of Miguel untangling you from the headlock you had him in.

His arms moved faster than you could process as he managed to loosen your hold enough to slam the air from your lungs as you fell back facing against the mat so hard that even Miles was convinced he could feel the blow in the lower spine.

"I mean, at this point, I'm kind of convinced she’s turned into his personal punching bag." Miles strains to watch Miguel not even wipe a sweat as he sprung back on his feet. He stretched out his full body, towering over you, curled flat against the mat, trying to collect your breathing as well as your broken ego.

Gwen nodded in agreement. "I don't even know how someone could hit someone so...squishy? She’s just so cute." She muttered, watching with her arms crossed. 

"This punching bag needs to learn that in the real world, people aren't going to go as easy on her just because she’s cute." Miguel, despite glaring at the two bystanders, leaned down and yanked you back onto your stumbling feet. 

Your fingers combed through the matted curls now drenched in sweat away from your forehead, using your water break as the perfect excuse to help cover up the reaction to the sudden compliment that came from his lips and the way he had made you feel.

"And her being my personal punching bag is completely at her fault, if you want to learn how to fight, you have to learn how to take a few punches." You couldn't help but roll your eyes and wave your hand out in annoyance at another one of Miguel O’Hara’s famous lectures.

"I’m not a punching bag, did you not see the hold I had on him early?" You huffed, almost choking on your water, trying to protest. Gwen humored your claim, the blonde reaching out and rubbing your shoulder out of support as you continued with your defense. "Any tighter, and I would have easily snapped his neck."

Of course, Miguel only smirked as you continued grasping at straws at the point of trying to prove to your friends your improvement, his eyes flitting back and forth at the exchange, expressionless at the sight of you managing to still joke around as if you weren't about to pass out from fatigue at any second.

"And was that before or after the part where I kicked your ass, little girl?" He shot out, chipping away at the final lock that held back your annoyance, you hadn't even had time to process the insult before he bumped his shoulder into you on his way out of the training room.

His rude exit enticed a round of reactions from Miles and Gwen trying their awkward best to comfort the boiling pot of anger they saw written all over your face, rolling your eyes, you pushed past the two, not without grumbling a string of insults in Miguel’s name to the washrooms.

You blessed the spider lords for somehow having the ability to shower under running water, let alone the unexplainable strange amount of amenities that the spider society dimensions had. 

Like a web shooter's wonderland, you quickly shed the sweating clothes you trained in and stepped foot into the cold cubicle shower booth, letting the water run for a bit until enough steam fogged clouded stepping under the stream. Even with the hot water splashing pressure against your aching muscles, no amount of water could manage to wash away the annoying feeling in your legs. 

It was enough of a jab at your pride to even find Miguel attractive in the first place, and here your body was betraying you once more, begging, throbbing desperately for his every touch in its every form, and having the nerve to grow more intense during your training.

The feeling had yet to fully disappear the next day, even with your session starting off with you fueled from yesterday's comments. You tried pushing the feeling as you were just ready to have Miguel mutter another word insult with the ass kick you were ready to give him. It was the only possible explanation for why you were so jittery about getting to training on time.

"It took you long enough." Was the first thing you heard Miguel announce throughout the empty room.

He wasn’t wearing his suit—neither of you did while training—instead, he was wearing dark gray sweatpants paired with some random dark red graphic shirt that fit him a bit too snuggly to leave room for imagination around his arms.

"Almost thought you were gonna skip out."

You were aware enough to spot this quick observation of your outfit as well. Keeping it casual and opting for better mobility, you shimmied yourself into plain Nike shorts that stopped higher up than you had expected them to on your thighs with a loose tank top that peeked out the straps of your sports bra.

Nothing about your clothes screamed attention grabbing—at least that's what you thought before you caught Miguel’s red-tinted stare on the way your shorts hugged your thighs.

He glanced away, muttering something in Spanish you couldn't quite translate the moment your fingers fidgeted with the bottom hems of the shorts, tugging them slightly more down while deciding to break the tense silence that had managed to sneak up on you. "So what are we doing today?"

"Huh, I’ve been thinking." He answered, followed by the clearing of his throat, "We try something a little different." You could never get used to the roughness of his voice or the way he spoke with so much arrogance that it reminded just about everyone that he thought he was better than just about everyone.

Even now that you stepped towards the middle of the mat, standing rigidly just a few paces away from him, you could tell from that stupid, cocky expression as he stood looking down at you that there was no possible way that he would ever see you as a real threat. "I want you to try to hit me." 

Your brows creased together in confusion. 

"What?" was all you asked, which seemed to be the wrong question to ask as Miguel stretched out a sigh from his mouth, his hands coming close to his to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

"I said hit me." He speaks more slowly, making sure to mockingly over pronounce every symbol in every word as if you were a child. "Preferably soon and as hard as you can." A grimace finds itself twisting on your lips before you can even process your bubbling annoyance. Your body moved on autopilot because of your keen senses, jumping over the swing of his left leg with ease.

You couldn't say that swift grace stuck with your attempt at a counterattack. Bending your knee just enough to reach out and kick, you were only met with the bottom of your foot stomping flat against the floor mat and Miguel dodging your kick, standing just a few paces away. "Too predictable," he scolded in that annoyingly deep voice you hated oh so much and totally did not turn on you at all. You sprung yourself up by the heels of your feet and charged at him with full determination to land at least one punch on his stupidly chiseled, handsome face.

It had been your second mistake, giving him too much time to brace himself. Already regretting your emotionally impulsive start, resulting in the punch you swung being easily deflected by Miguel.

His hand wrapped entirely around your wrist, bending your arm almost out of your socket and kicking the back of your knee to the mat with his heel. You feel down to a kneel with a hissing pain in your arm threatening to get worse at any wrong twist.

"Lose that fucking attitude, or you’ll get sloppy." As if your body could radiate any more anger, you knew he was just trying to push your buttons, trying to throw you off your game with smack talk that was not working on you or anything.

"Again," he prompted, letting your arm go and stepping back, egging on another attack from you.

"Give me a damn minute." No matter how much you wanted to snap back at him with something snarky, you knew it would only prove his point entirely—not only that but also the fact that he was mentally hitting you in all the places that he knew counted the most to throw you off your game. 

Biting back the insult you already had threatened to slip from your tongue instead of making a point by rolling your eyes as you stumbled back to your feet. Rolling your sore shoulder back as your eyes scan over his stance, trying to find the best opening for a better attack, you steady your breath and cloud your mind in thought. "You aren't going to get anywhere but dead standing around like that, you know."

So much for wanting to consider your options. Miguel took the first swing at you and was on the verge of kicking you on your ass if it weren't for your shoddy dodge.

"Didn't you just say I had to be less fucking predictable?" You snarled, lifting your foot with most of your weight pointed in the direction of his jaw. Surprisingly, the kick landed just not in the place you wanted it to; instead, Miguel’s arm blocked the blow, much to your annoyance.

"I also said—" All he was doing was using dodging moves on you, swiping your other foot from under you as he held the other one that you kicked up in his arm, resulting in you landing once again flat on your ass. "to lose that fucking attitude."

You had not gone down without a fight, twisting and kicking, trying to wrestle your limbs free by any means. Miguel had almost embarrassingly quickly ceased your squirming, his palm cuffing your arms and pressing hard against your chest as his other hand pressed tightly into your thighs, folding your legs in place under his hips.

The position was interesting, to say the least, but you still had some fight in you, wiggling against his grip with any strength you had left to break free. It was a useless battle, but the man had his grip around you tight as well as an overpowering size difference that blanketed your entire figure like one big rock.

And that's how you caught yourself in another web of misfortune. Your nerves are surging at the feeling of something—him brushing against your calf. Maybe it was all the adrenaline pumping through your veins or the fact that you were practically being manhandled so easily that did another thing to your body, or maybe it was just pure horny instability that your brain couldn't even process the lewd whine that tugged from your throat after the fact that it had happened.

Watching in pure horror as Miguel loomed on top of you, his mouth slightly agape as his chest heaved and his brows pulled together, the embarrassment from his confused, almost offended looking expression hit you fast. Here your body was betraying you once more, this time going absolutely haywire and melting like a stupid pile of putty at the fact that you were being body pressed against some mat with some guy's hard junk pressed into your leg.

You couldn't bear to even look him in the eye anymore, your head tilting to the side, pressing your cheek into the mat, and squeezing your eyes closed, not suddenly envying the spidermen with teleportation powers. "Fucking Christ, can you get off now?"

A beat of silence hovered between the small distance between you two, neither moving nor talking. It was starting to become unbearable how tightly Miguel had folded your legs against him, in the sense that you could already feel his body heat radiating. The close proximity did not help with how unbearably your heart was beating against your chest. "How do you manage after all of that to still have that shameless fucking attitude?"

You stilled at how his voice had managed to cut through your own thick cloud of betraying thoughts as well as the ringing in your eardrums. "Shameless? As if you don't have your dick pressed against me right now."

"By the sounds of it, you don't seem that bothered at all." Miguel taunted, You thought you were bound to die of embarrassment.

Yeah, this is how you went out—by dying from the sheer effect of your own extremely horny though—not some overpowered supervillain with a vendetta against you but Miguel O'Hara and his dick print.

You could already hear the new taunts that he would use against you, "Not even in your fucking dreams." being the only comeback that you could muster, your limbs tingling with slight pins and needles, threatening to go stiff under his unbound grasp. 

"Oh, like you wouldn't love to," he sneered, shifting the weight from his hips flat against your thighs. "Probably thinking about me taking off these tight fucking shorts and having my way with you?" Your body reacted first to the accusation, cursing under your breath as you felt your second heartbeat flutter in between your legs.

His lingering stare hadn't helped one bit, and you watched from the sidelines as his eyes raked over your body with interest.

"I bet this was your plan the entire fucking time, huh?" He asked, leaning in as the distance dwindled until you could feel the brush of his breath against your face. "Put on some sweet naive act in front of everyone, knowing that you're getting yourself off on me throwing you around, touching yourself like some bitch in heat."

You hadn't bothered covering the whine that parted from your lips at the feeling of his erection slowly rutting against your thigh, the cocky smirk on his lips wanting you to melt away against the mat.

Miguel practically growled at the pathetic sounds that parted from your lips, tugging your legs apart to rut his hips down against your core. You shivered at the intrusion of his bulge pressed against your eagerness, the foreign feeling of him grinding against you left your thoughts in a dizzy fog.

"What? Can’t fucking speak now," he said as if he were dangling your most prized possession in front of your face, his fingers creeping into dangerous territory, making it a point for his fingertips to drag down your lower torso only to halt right above the elastic waistband of your shorts. "Go on, use your words."

"...fuck you."

The small amount of distance made the space between you two fall tensely thick, and the words spoken from your lips were different from the feelings that made your heart thud against your ribs. You weren't stupid, you knew Miguel could sense it, he could sense just about everything about your body from how close he kneeled on top of you.

Maybe that was why he had closed the distance so quickly after, letting the tight grip around your wrists give way to his hand finding a new objective, wrapping his fingers around your neck, not bothering to be gentle as he guided your lips towards his. The kiss was as rough as you had dreamed it to be. Eager for each other's kiss, you couldn't even process the noise that vibrated sharply from your throat before Miguel could pull away first, leaving you panting for more of his touch.

"First time I've ever seen you so quiet," his deep taunts were starting to grow unbearable, shifting your hips at the brush of his fangs against the jugular of your neck with every word, "who knew all you needed was some dick?" The harsh kisses he left trailing down to your collarbone made you feel like a hot, needy mess of putty. If it weren't for the tight grasp he had on your body, you were convinced that you would feel like you'd melt into some type of puddle. The growing frustration had only started to build up more as Miguel let go of your thighs, his hand trailing between your legs ruthlessly as the bud of his fingers rubbed against your clothed pussy. 

As for why you shifted your hips up and let him impatiently tug and yank at the bow knotted around the waist of your shorts, breaking away from the red splotching light bruises already forming against your brown skin and wiggling you out of your shorts, Miguel thought it was quite the image, his eyes were fixated on the drooling sight of you under him, so vulnerable with your thighs hugging to your chest, spread open, revealing yourself in your pants.

All sanity was thrown out the window the moment he tugged you closer by your knees, your lower half lifted in his arms just enough for him to sit face to face with your cunt. His eyes darkened, his pupils blown as his tongue lapped over his lips, leaving you feeling restless. It was a slow and almost painful battle of trying to reach down and shove his face closer or buck your hips as his fingers sheathed and explored themselves against the fabric of your underwear.

As if Miguel could read your mind, his fingers hooked the fabric under the bend of his finger, followed by a quick tearing sound. "I’ll get you new ones," the comfort emitting a whine from your throat as you couldn't even scowl at him for ruining your underwear because you were too busy admiring the work his fingers were doing. Without warning, Miguel leans in closer, the warmth of his mouth almost sending you into a frenzy as his fingers spread open your lips, his lips sucking at your clitoral area, prompting you to let out a very lewd moan.

"Too loud," Miguel mumbled against your pussy, too busy webbed up in your own pleasure to even notice how every embarrassedly sloppy wet noise had seemed to perfectly echo throughout the empty room. You couldn't even explain the number of emotions that were flowing through you, from shame from being tongue fucked and fingered against the floor about the one man you hated so much to bashfulness from holding eye contact with him as he lay between your legs and ate your pussy like he was starving for you.

"I can't help it," you whined, shivering at the string of spit that contacted Miguel as he lifted his head in an idea. It took a second to process Miguel picking you up and turning you on your stomach, his hands guiding your hips up and stripping your torn panties down your legs to stuff them in your mouth.

Without a word, Miguel grabbed your ass with another hand, guiding your lower back into an arch as the other made small indents from his nail bearing into your cheeks as he spread them apart.

Before you could even feel embarrassed at the new position, he shoved his face between them, your moan being muffled by your makeshift cloth gag that worked a bit too well in lowering your whines as Miguel’s mouth sought his tongue out for your pussy once more.

"You're close I can smell it," you almost missed Miguel's groan over your building ecstasy, "just let it go, baby, let me take care of you. That's what you want, right?" His voice is drastically different from his usual rough, rude tone, softened to something of a coo that has managed to unknot your pleasure with his tongue. Your body tensed against his mouth for a moment as he had the nerve to suck his fingers clean. No grace period was given before he could lift you once more with a grunt, laying you flat on your back.

Slotting himself back between his legs, Miguel chuckled at the dazed look on your face. "It's alright, baby, I can take it from here." taking the balled up drool covered panties from your mouth and instead replaced them with his lips. The sensual change of pace wasn't enough to stop the shiver that rid your nerves of the feeling of his bare cock rutting against your slit, using his thumb to spread your lips apart to sink his tip inside of you with a low hiss against your mouth.

A gasp left yours as his girthy length intruded deeper inside of you, the burying stretch of his dick having your nails roughly grasping at the nape neck of his hair tugging a handful as his pace hadn't bothered to even get familiar already. Miguel’s hips weren't letting out as he fucked you almost animalistic against the floor. You were convinced he was trying to fuck you into the mat, to be one with the floor, which would perfectly explain the rough pace that left you breathless with each piston of his hips. 

The graphically lewd sounds of your weak groans were nothing compared to the pornographic sound of your skin meeting his, your brain empty with nothing but greed, wanting to take everything and more of what Miguel was giving you. His fingers reach to unwrap your fingers tangled in his hair to intertwine them in his. "That's it, mama, that's it," he whispers against the shell of your ear, earning a whimpering reply from you, almost close to spilling the tears clouding your waterline.

Your mind couldn't process anything other than how good Miguel’s dick felt being shoved inside of you, his cock dragging against your tight, flustering walls with each shaky breath brushed against your ear. Your cunt seemed to react to Miguel’s lashes tickling against your neck as his eyes screwed tightly shut, muttering a string of compliments in his mother tongue.

You weren't lucky enough to be more stable, surprised that your throat hasn't gone horse with how ruined your vocal cords sounded in the pace of his pistoning hips. Only going up an octave higher as one of Miguel’s hands reaches down to pay attention to your clit, he doesn't stop even when your limbs start to tremble from your climax. 

With one last hard thrust, he finally stills, your name being the only thing you could make out through his mumbling as his unfamiliar warm sensation welcomed itself inside of you. 

Groaning right in your ear, he cums inside of you with his entire dead weight pressed against you, caging you against the floor. "Alright," Miguel sighs, settling on top of you once more with his arms holding himself just a few inches away from your face. "Again."

🔖 @adonis-is-dead-lmaoo @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @inumakiiz @iheartlinds @creamyarishi @marzipaanz

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[mercymaker]

8 and 22 for malstarion if they haven’t been asked yet!

Romance Asks

8. What are their most prominent memories of each other?

For Maleane, the one that truly made her experience all five stages of grief in like 0.0024 seconds all at once, was when they were in Cazador's dungeon and she saw Astarion get ragdolled away to be sacrificed for the ascension ritual. For just a brief moment, she thought it's over and it absolutely terrified her. It was the "oh fuck, I don't want to wake up in the world where you're not there" moment. The "I didn't realize how much you mean to me and now it's too late" moment. The "gods, I won't even get a chance to tell you how much I love you" moment. Ice cold shard, right through the heart.

For Astarion, I think it was when she killed for him. When she took someone's life, weighed it against his wants, and decided that his wishes mattered more than someone's existence (it did work out in the end, somehow, as Yurgir joined their fight, so 🤷). But that act kind of solidified his feelings for her and soon after he confessed.

22. From the outside looking in, what is their dynamic like? 

They're fun, they're complicated, they're two idiots in love.

At times, it feels like Astarion holds all the cards because he's much more experienced than her, but then they're around other people and while he can flirt his way through a crowd, Mal can spin others like a fine silk thread between her fingers, and make them dance on that same string like puppets. So yeah, she's not entirely powerless!

When it comes to neat little 'boxes' there's so much fun stuff to throw them in. "The dude was a magistrate used to finery & the drow hermit that lived her whole live in the woods". "The victim of unimaginable torture & someone who was traumatized by witnessing unimaginable torture". "The vampire & the witch". "The virgin & the slut", etc.

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 10.24.22

LAST TIME ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK: our heroes arrived at the city of neverwinter. after a hairy encounter weith the dragon cryovain, it was finally time to enter the city's wall. once inside, our heroes insisted with the interrogation of an unexpectedly familiar orc, who told them the story of a dragonslaying sword in a barrow. with the bell sold and items purchased, our heroes plan to return to the town of phandalin. but what has happened to the mountain's toe goldmine? is donjon safe among the wererats? FIND OUT… TODAY.

[leans away from mic] hey check out this sick jpeg

retcon: the splint armor has been upgraded with the mythril from alidaar's old armor! Nice

jorb fucks around in my character sheet while i dissociate about my character sheet looking different (it does not look different it's just in dark mode)

pat: this is the weirdest fuckin path we couldve taken jorb: it was efficient! pat: WAS IT?

pat: we just have the most eventful da-- UNEVENTFUL. UNEVENTFUL. couple days of our lives jorb: you get isekai'd into another dimension, save the day, defeat a god, and then you arrive safely in phandalin!

("i forgot how to spell phandalin-- WAIT IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE MAP")

alidaar, traumatizer of animals

We Are Not Talking About Mpreg "the camp was attacked by mpreg." i hate it here.

tobias is an empty husk of a man

alidaar: I Abandoned My Boy (donjon) [slight echo] NO MY BOY / father heeeelp

nyx: time to eat some rats or something jorb: you're traveling on foot with no wagon, you were kinda getting used to it pat: TO EATING RATS?

jorb: like before it is dark inside the mine-- wait, is it dark? does it say? IT DOESN'T SAY,, nyx: why doesn't it say???

we are ragdolling tobias around

alidaar: hi yeah sorry it's been a hot minute, where's donjon rats: you should probably talk to the boss about that alidaar: NGNFNFFHGHGHGHGHHNNBNBN

alidaar telefrags himself inside a wall

nyx: [distraught] ARE WE GETTING CASK OF [30 seconds of concerned gibberish] pat: ..amontillado? nyx: it took me 30 seconds to say it wrong :(

we have been put in a corner and are now rolling initiative! gg ali thankfully little guy is incapable of being surprised so it's not as much of a trainwreck as it could be-- nvm tobias got bit and has to do a saving throw jorb: tobias has failed the constitution saving throw! interesting! pat: is this how you're going to kill tobias off? jorb: NOPE, THIS IS UNPLANNED nyx: what does it do?? jorb: what do you think it does nyx: ..turn him into a wererat? jorb: [chuckle] nyx: >:(

nyx: that was the worst surprise round ever, nobody got hurt-- jorb: tobias got bit!

nyx: i'm going to use thunderwave. can i- can i do that, am i a real boy, can i use thunderwave? jorb: you can, but it would hurt your allies..? nyx: [..] and tobias can go fuck himself

jorb: and there is an audible boom, which i believe can be heard up to.. pat: 300 feet. jorb: ..the entire mine. [..] jorb: stealth may no longer be a valid tactic! pat: oh no.

jorb: is wild shape a magical attack. [extended silence]

alidaar has a silvered axe! bonk! alidaar: [grinning like an asshole] don't worry guys, ive fuckin got this

alidaar: where do you think you're going? [BONK] "and alidaar leans around the corner and grins at the other were-rat." ALIDAAR IS NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH THE WERE-RATS, THE WERE-RATS ARE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ALIDAAR

new mechanic just dropped! nyx got a crit fail so he rolled a d20 and got a 2, so "something goes wrong (minor)" and gets to decide what that means. so nameless misses, hits the wall, and gets bonked and loses -1 hp

"that's a hit" "nice! get twelved, idiot" oh that was the most pathetic use of fire rune so far. 3 damage from the cool fire shackles.

LITTLE GUY USING THORN WHIP TO YANK THE RAT INTO ALI'S AXE LMAO "it's cool so i'll allow it, but you do have to hit first" LMAO. NYX GOT IT BUT ALIDAAR ROLLED A 1 FOR THE AXE.. nyx: you currently have a rat in your arms, though, alidaar jorb: alidaar has this rat in a bridal carry this is a fucking clownshow.

nyx: um. nameless looks at tobias. jorb: jorb: it's tobias.

ALIDAAR HAS THE SCROLL OF REMOVE CURSE! he hands it over to tobias, but tobias is reluctant to use it in case he gets bit again or someone else gets bit. alidaar: if you're sure. i mean, i don't wanna curse ya to bein a furry if that's not what you want..

nyx, looking at tobias: [dreamily] wow, you've been so sentient lately.. (this is the most tobias has said in the past couple sessions)

jorb: acquire tobias. pat: tobias achieved!

jorb: okay what is the order on this door nyx: we're using tobias as a battering ram

pat: my urge to avoid collateral damage vs alidaar's urge to kill

pat: yeah we'll leave [the were-rats we stealthed past] be, if they chase us down we cut em down jorb: o-kay! :D pat: pat: i don't like it hwen you say that :(

noncanonically alidaar is picking tobias up and throwing him as far as he can

nyx: i feel like we should go to the right, i dont trust doors anymore jorb: the d&d experience, question mark.

taking a moment to tell the story of how i joined fix's stream chat in time to hear him and the other dominion ccs talk about my meta post about video editing

"i bowl [tobias] around the corner." [..] "alidaar is getting good at bowling him around corners"

jorb: and tobias sees.. a guy and a bunch of rats. crawling all over him like weevils. [..] nyx: maybe we should leave jorb: pacifist run nyx: it feels personal.

[pat and jorb singing screw the nether]

jorb: at the back of the tunnel, there is a corpse. and on.. closer inspection.. it is… ………some guy. you don't know who ths is. nyx: YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE THAT

pat: which way do we goooo.. i'm gonna flip a coin. jorb: okay! [sounds of a coin being flipped several times, cursing, something hitting pat's mic several time, a shriek of fear, "I AM GOING TO MOVE MY COMPUTER", more coin flipping] pat: WE'RE GOING THIS WAY.

(i was flipping my big novelty collectible coin to make decisions and uh. it is big and heavy and i am out of practice flipping and catching it)

oops we have angered the rats

THIS FUCKING RAT. BOTH ROLLS , WITH ADVANTAGE, WERE NAT20 jorb: do you want to know how mcuh damage you get? on this incredible crit from a rat? you take 5 damage.

alidaar jumps into nameless's space, uses breath weapon, then hops back out

alidaar smacking aside giant rats yelling WHERE IS DONJON

pat: alidaar is fearless right now [alidaar takes damage]

little guy takes a rat corpse to the face

alidaar does a rat's max hp in one hit jorb: um, that rat explodes!

BOTH DOORS LEAD TO THE SAME ROOM. THE COIN FLIP WAS MEANINGLESS

found some dwarves! they're holed up in here and despite being freed aren't gonna go anywhere til the were-rats are taken out. time for extermination duty

nameless beheads a rat for.. some …. reason……………..

pat: [moves alidaar] i'm teleporting. jorb: enderman noise pat: vwoop nyx: vwoop "alidaar throws an ender pearl through several walls. he's getting really good at bowling."

pat: i recognize that hat. LMAO. WE TOOK TOO LONG AND DONJON IS A WERE-RAT NOW. WHOOPS also the lead were-rat is not gonna budge bc they've settled in hard and the mines are way better than their old place, so. woop

nyx: i look at alidaar and nod. does alidaar nod back. pat: yes. nyx: i throw the rat head at [the were-rat leader].

zeleen: is that supposed to be me? is that supposed to scare me? not even a were-rat head? alidaar: [..] i mean, if you want me to get a were-rat head, i can go get one off the bodies of the guards who tried to kill us in a side closet, you piece of shit

pat: [alidaar voice] LETS GOOOO THE BLOODLUST IS KICKING IN [rolls a 5 for initiative] FUCK

pat: can you even fit through the corridor nyx, a 4-square dire wolf: no. pat: what are you going to do about it nyx: i lay down on my back and expose my belly so alidaar can pet me. pat: i pet nameless's belly. jorb: ..okay!

alidaar tries doing a cool stunt of running on nameless's back and jumping off to hit zeleen but. misses. whoops lmao

alidaar has forgotten he's not the tank. nyx: WHY DO YOU KEEP DRAWING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF pat, at 14 hp: IN MY DEFENSE, alidaar's flaw is that he cant shut the fuck up

jorb: nyx, youre up nyx, who has been rolling grapple and failing past 2 turns: IM GOING TO GRAPPLE THIS BITCH

alidaar and nameless shoving zeleen over so alidaar can get advantage on her and its just. an attempted cycle of "nameless shoves her, alidaar whacks her, she stands back up, she gets shoved," (unfortunately she caught on to our shenanigans of trying ot be highschool bullies)

alidaar tries to do the parkour over nameless stunt AGAIN. and misses AGAIN. i am trying so hard to be cool yall :(

nameless decides to set her on fire

ALIDAAR CHOPS HER HEAD OFF. FUCK YEAH.

pat: alidaar yanks his axe out of the wall, picks up the head, and holds it out to nameless. nyx: nameless wiggles a little and takes it.

there are two cursed people. we have one scroll of curse removal. hrm. :( :(

nameless and alidaar don't know what to do,, apparently the curse has mental effects and that's been weighing on donjon hard. he's been holding out, and there's a few more days before tobias turns.

tobias uses the scroll on donjon.

alidaar introduces donjon to the dwarves and is doing his best to still be a Cool Guy, struts back to the group, and immediately has a Problem with tobias. "we will talk about this later." meanwhile, nameless walks into the uh. what we've been calling the rat orgy room. the "crawling over him like weevils" room. and is angry-crying and threatens them with zeleen's head so the were-rats run off and we have to punt the non-were rats pat, sad: we've ruined the rat orgy

time for extermination duty! again! aka ransacking the rest of the mines to kill everything that moves

nyx: they wake up. i am sitting in the middle of them. there is a head in my lap. it is their leader. (intimidation did not work this time but it was objectively hilarious)

jorb: alidaar has no gods no kings pat: no gods no kings only axe

jorb: he is going to make a run for it, you two get attacks of opportunity nyx: im going to thorn whip him. pat: hit him on the ass nyx: i slap him on the ass and go "buenos dias" jorb: 1 damage.

jorb: HE HAS -15 HP. HOW DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS pat, restaining laughter: alidaar goes BUENOS DIAS and cuts him in half jorb: you cut him in half down the buttcrack.

we also fought a worm and i forgot to take notes for it in the moment. uhhh alidaar go bonk

everything's cleaned up! donjon's gonna get the mine up and running, and that he owes us one. also alidaar dug up some goodies to give to nameless to try and cure their depression (including some goggles of night!)

alidaar and tobias sit down to have A Talk. tobias is worried about losing himself alidaar: ..i don't want to have to kill you.

he's going to walk out into the woods and.. well, if he holds on, he'll come back. if he doesn't, he doesn't. alidaar: i'm holding you to that.

tobias gives his Important Book to nameless, as well as his magic items (except for his sending stone)

tobias: well, i guess that's it. --for now! alidaar: for now. you're not getting rid of us that easily ;)

there he goes. :(

[grimmradiance]

Close to Me: How the Hollow Knight's Fighting Style Reflects Their Trauma (and the Radiance's as well)

So I've been trying to actually beat the Radiance, which means I've been fighting the Hollow Knight. A lot, as a matter of fact, since I'm beans at this game sometimes. I've also been thinking about @lost-kinn's meta about how fighting styles are how Vessels, especially the Little Knight, communicate.

In trying to apply this to the Hollow Knight, I've been coming to some very interesting conclusions, especially taken in context of...Everything Else in the lore, and Everything Else implicated in this by the psychology of it.

There's a lot to cover here, and it tracks through a LOT of different places, including trauma psychology, the relationship between chronic stress and lifespan health, and shape symbolism. Two warnings first:

One: this essay is gonna get heavy. It includes fine-grained discussion of the Hollow Knight's trauma, including discussions of the real-life machanics of psychological abuse, as well as the Extremely Concerning Implications of them harming themself during their boss fight. please read with caution and when you're in a safe emotional place to do so.

Two: This post is not a place for justifying the Pale King. If you read this essay in its entirety and still want to do that, please make your own post; my relationship to the Hollow Knight themself is deeply rooted in my own experiences, so in the context of this discussion I can't promise I won't take it personally.

With that out of the way, let's talk trauma and fighting styles:

We know that the Hollow Knight is trained to be a paragon of fighting skill, through the Pure Vessel fight, and this gives us a fantastic way to compare what they were like before they were made Government Assigned Radiance Jail, and after. Or, in other words, we're given the perfect opportunity to see what the Radiance is doing (i.e. context effects), and what Hollow is (i.e. what we can conclude is reliably consistent as a part of them). Listed here, for reference:

Hollow's attacks:

Three slashes

A dash slash

A Radiant Shade Soul, which launches a volley of Infection blobs in arcs

A Radiant Desolate Dive, which produces pillars of entwined Void and Light at random intervals

The Infection bursting out of them in random arcs, covering a significant amount of the aerial space of the arena

The Radiance ragdolling their body around trying to hit the Knight

Contact damage from them stabbing themself and falling over atop you

The Pure Vessel's attacks:

Three slashes

A dash slash

A Pure Shade Soul, which launches a volley of nails in straight lines

A Pure Desolate Dive, which produces nails at specific intervals

A Pure Focus, which causes circular explosions across most of the aerial space in the arena

Lashing out with a Void Arm (word choice intentional)

I've highlighted attacks from each battle that are different, since those are our points of interest here. In addition, both the Pure Vessel and Hollow are exceedingly fond of teleport-spamming in a way that is usually reserved for a specific group of bosses.

Another very important distinction between these two fights: the Pure Vessel doesn't scream. Well, they certainly try to, but no sound comes out. No voice to cry suffering, after all. All of these points have a lot to go into, so let's address them one at a time.

All That Remains: Theoretical Background On The Significance Of Constants

Making comparisons across time is important specifically because humans (and human-like bugs) change. Most personality traits aren't set in stone--they exist as an interaction of someone's internal tendencies, their experiences, and their environment. Speaking of those last two points, not all experiences and environments are created equally. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs for short) are known to have lifelong implications for a child's health, both physically and mentally. These are events that are so stressful or stressful for so long that they exceed a child's ability to cope and become toxic stress (yes, that's the term in the literature, because it actively damages your organs). They compound, as well--the stress of one ACE makes it harder for a child to cope with another, especially if they overlap.

Some examples of ACEs? Being exposed to physical danger or the threat of physical danger, deprivation of normal social relationships with peers of a similar age, being forcibly seperated from family members, witnessing a loved one being hurt or killed, chronic illness in oneself or a family member, neglect of a child's emotional needs....

Poor fucking Holly. It's a miracle they didn't disintegrate under the pressure. The only other option is that they bent and adapted under that much stress--in other words, most of their personality has been forcibly reshaped by what they've gone through. Anyone who has up-close experience with parentification or complex child abuse already knows: this was by design. I'm not saying the intent was to traumatize the Pure Vessel past several points of no return, but the intent definitely was to reshape their personality for the purpose of being The Vessel. We only see them (the Pure Vessel) in battle after this process is mostly or entirely complete, but we do see them a few times beforehand. I'd like to draw attention to the Path of Pain cutscene right now.

I've seen people talking about the look the Vessel and the King share as a sign that TPK really does love his child. That might be true, but it's definitely not relevant when it comes to how abuse works. This is, in fact, exactly how the cycle of abuse uses affection as a tool. Long periods of abuse or neglect, smoothed over by small periods of affection that placate the survivor? That's textbook love bombing, the kind that forms stubborn trauma bonds and facilitates unhealthy dependency. Forgive me for not giving the Higher Being of knowledge and prescience the benefit of the doubt on that one. (/s)

Team Cherry knows about the importance of parallels and dissonance. There's a reason the music in the second phase of the Hollow Knight fight plays in the Path of Pain. There's a reason it cuts out the moment the battle with the Kingsmoulds is over, instead of at the room transition. There's a reason it doesn't cut out in the Black Egg. Actually, there's two potential reasons, which could also coexist: either little Hollow trusts the Pale King to keep them safe, even after the borderline torture that they were just subjected to, or big Hollow is so hypervigilant that they're in full functioning-through-trauma mode even while they're at death's door.

If you don't see how much the Pale King scarred his child at this point, I'm not sure we were playing the same game.

Walking the Straight Line: How the Pale King's Teachings Show In the Pure Vessel

The Pale King loves order and control. Everything about the White Palace and every decision we see him make implies this. Everything is spotless white walls and well-maintained gardens; the only signs of disorder are hidden away, either in his workshop or in The Pit™. This also reflects in the Pure Vessel's title--pure as in holy, but also pure as in without flaw. Considering the Nailsmith's emotional state after completing the Pure Nail, TPK's fate with his Perfect Controlled Kingdom, and the Godmaster ending as a whole, attaining perfection is not a good thing in any sense.

We know the Hollow Knight isn't perfect--that's the whole catalyst for the plot. But considering their upbringing and their fighting style as the Pure Vessel, their imperfections absolutely kill them emotionally. I'll spare the lecture on how perfectionism affects neurodivergent kids even more severely than neurotypical kids, if only to keep this post to a reasonable length (look up "twice-exceptional children" if you'd like to know the theory I'm glossing over in more depth). But, in essence, the deck is doubly stacked against them--they have a higher goal to reach, and far more obsctacles in their path, including their own emotional scars.

I've already discussed how Hollow isn't meant for this kind of stress in a physical sense in other posts. They're not prepared for it emotionally, either--the Pale King wants perfection, and they can't even stand up straight (every spoonie in the audience already knows how exhausting people's obsession with Standing Up Straight is). There's another page on their stack of emotional baggage, even BEFORE you consider that the Pure Vessel knows their perfection is what bought them a ticket out of the Abyss.

Bringing Teleportation To A Sword Fight: Where The Pure Vessel Reveals Their Fears

How else are they going to cope with that need for perfection, that need to prove themselves worthy of the reason their life was spared, by being flawless in any way they can? Being a mechanical, flawless fighter puts so much pressure on them, both literally (repetitive strain injuries fucking HURT) and figuratively--if you're predictable, the only sure way to win is to mop the floor with your opponents before they figure you out. Hell, that's the way most people play their first run of Hollow Knight, by throwing themselves at the bosses over and over until they figure out the patterns. That strategy is inherently going to fail against an opponent that's, say, an immortal higher being.

There's no way that the Vessel didn't figure this out, and yet none of their TPV specific attacks are positioned randomly--the nails are always evenly spaced, and the Focus explosions are always in a specific height region of the screen. That's clinging to survival strategies even when they become maladaptive in its purest form.

Another dip into psychological theory: let's talk about disorganized attachment. Attachment styles describe how someone's relationships to their main caregiver(s) influence their understanding on relationships in general. Disorganized attachment is a result of an upbringing of inherently unstable parent-child relationships, where there's no way of a child predicting whether an adult is going to be delighted to see them, ambivalent, upset, or otherwise. If my parent woke up some days saying "all right my child, time for the Infinite Buzzsaws Obstacle Course," I'd be the same way. In adulthood this manifests as an inability to form a stable sense of self-concept as well as concepts of others. Mission accomplished, TPK, there's no will to break if you broke it yourself.

This is where the fighting styles as communication comes in--Hollow needs to keep Ghost at a distance to fight, but also wants to be closer to their sibling (the only being who has a chance of understanding what they've been through), BUT also has a trauma-rooted fear of attaching to people, as their experiences with attachment are inherently unpredictable and dangerous. Hence, both the teleportation that doesn't seem to match their fighting style any more reliably than "aim at the thing attacking you" and the second attack unique to the Pure Vessel--they're quite literally lashing out in pain to push people away. There's a reason that attack is so reminiscent of the Thorns of Agony.

Of note is that Holly does seem to teleport like the bugs of the Soul Sanctum do (favoring the edges of a screen, rather than going wherever like Dream Warriors do), which makes sense--they're the most obvious answer to the question "how did they learn how to teleport, anyways?" However, Sanctum bugs have abilities designed to capitalize on this, like homing spells and slashes from above. I can only assume this means that someone saw Holly's proficiency with the nail and assumed it translated to other forms of combat, and didn't feel the need to give them at least a bit of a primer on how to make the best use of it. There's another tally for the Hollow Knight as an autism metaphor.

Trauma Bonds: How the Radiance Speaks Through Hollow

Now, we're back to the Black Egg, and two people stuck in the same sinking ship. The thing that makes this hurt so badly is that Holly and the Radiance are at complete cross purposes here, and yet they both want the same thing:

They both want out, no matter the cost. For the Radiance, this means forsaking the pacifistic nature of the moths and nuking Ghost personally.

For Hollow, this means forsaking the way they were raised and everything that was bludgeoned into their personality: the only way out is to fail, give up control, and trust that Ghost will do what needs to be done.

Imagine how much pain they're in to actually go for it. Going against a literal lifetime of conditioning is something that takes the average person years to even consider, let alone go through with. It's a form of learned helplessness--if you try to break free and fall, again and again, it actively discourages further attempts. Breaking through learned helplessness is an interesting process, because it generally involves re-establishing a sense of control by recalling previous events where the person was able to change their situation.

Which, as far as we know of, are nothing but traumatic memories for Hollow. It's very unlikely that they'd break through it on their own, but we know they have by the time we see the second phase of their fight. This is them at their most desperate: the same music as the Path of Pain, the way they let, or can't stop, the Radiance throw their body around, the way they actively try to let the Radiance out by stabbing themself.

You'd think that giving up and learned helplessness are inherently compatible, but when giving up both goes against your core personality, and involves your active participation, they're in direct opposition. So either Holly was able to process all their trauma by themself (which I doubt, judging by how much effort the player has to go through to even see Ghost's and Hollow's traumatic memories), or someone gave them a nudge or three in that direction.

Considering that there's been someone living in Holly's head who has a vested interest in them Not Doing Their Duty, I think we know who. And the thing is, I think we watch Hollow have this breakthrough during their battle. Imagine for the first time in decades, at least, you can move. You're in pain from being in the same position, probably hallucinating from sensory deprivation, with an infection sucking at what strength your body has left. And there's this little creature who looks ready to fight you, who seems to have let you go for that exact purpose.

And you look down, and both you and the Radiance recognize them from a place rooted deeper than consciousness, in the murky depths of trauma. You see the other Vessel who just as easily could have been you, and who looks so much stronger for not being you, for being an imperfect, willful creature. And the Radiance sees history threatening to repeat itself, another one of the Wyrm's cursed children seeking to lock her away once more.

What else do you do when you're triggered? You scream, and you go on instinct, and you retreat into your head. Those first blows, with the epic music? That's the Vessel the Pale King forged, the fighting machine that will endure unimaginable stress because it knows no other way. What snaps you back out of dissociation? Usually, either the passage of the triggering stimulus, or an even more relevant stimulus (severe pain from getting beaten up by a nail, for example).

The tragedy is this: we know this isn't a triumph. I think most of us went into that fight the first time, knowing we'd be putting the Hollow Knight out of their misery. The music turns tragic, Hollow screams, and then we see the Radiance and Hollow themself break through: the Radiance trying to fight Ghost directly with the resources she has, and Hollow trying to help her along.

For what it's worth, Hollow even had the right idea, when it came to letting themself rest while helping Ghost stop the madness their father started--they were just digging for the Radiance in the wrong place. The dynamic between the Radiance and the Hollow Knight is something I could write on for pages and pages, but this has gone on for long enough. Tune in next time, where I'll presumably talk about this same topic but in reverse with regards to the Radiance.

[andysmetahell]

One for All and All for One: The study in complimentary and infinite (wasted) potentials

One for All and All for One: two Quirks whose history we can, in the universe of Boku no Hero Academia, treat almost as the history of society. Their users had left enormous impact on everyone in the series, and through hints we can see their influence stretching long, long back to the first appearance of the Quirks.

Neither Quirk can be considered ‘normal’, though: the ability to take away Quirks at whim and an ability to share Quirks with others (which would inevitably leave you Quirkless) are both complete anathemas to the society that by and large is half-in love with the idea of simply having a Quirk (which deserves a whole breakdown in on itself, but that’s not what I’ll be writing about here!). And yet, One For All users are all heroes, and All for One users are all villains as far as we know (written after the release of manga chapter 280).

How is that even possible? With how objectively similar they are, why aren’t they both heroes, or both villains?

Well, before we take a crack at how Horikoshi coded the Hero society that made this happen, let’s first take a look at just why I’m so surprised the two Quirks aren’t on the same ‘side’. Also, obligatory ‘spoilers ahead’ warning for everyone who’re anime-only watchers, or haven’t gotten past Meta Liberation Army arc in manga.

Purely from the activation/mechanics point of view, All for One and One for All are warped mirror images of each other. All for One functions on the assumption that a) the user knows the other person has a Quirk and b) the Quirk doesn’t have an inherent clause that disallows itself to be taken by force when it comes to taking it. One for All is the only Quirk so far that has shown the resistance to the b), as it is encoded in the very nature of the ‘share-along’ Quirk that forms the true base of One for All that it can only be given away willingly.

Why is this so important? Because All for One doesn’t only take Quirks, it’s also capable of releasing them and giving them to others, whether the recipient is willing or unwilling. In this regard, One for All is startlingly identical: it can be forced upon someone else, as long as the DNA is exchanged and the previous user is willing to give it away. This little fact is often overlooked (likely deliberately) by the existing canon in favor of emphasizing the ‘cannot be taken forcefully away’ which makes sense plot-wise, but not ethics and logic-wise.

But who knows, maybe Horikoshi is holding back on us, and One for All ends up being the ultimate villain of the story.

… yeah, not likely. But the idea is interesting, isn’t it?

Moving onto the way they interact with their users and other Quirks, One for All and All for One are again very, very different, but with a shared approximate visualization of usage behind it. The closest approximation of how they interact with other Quirks would be, in my opinion, be gravity – but two very different applications of gravity.

There are two relevant things you need to know about gravity: it is defined by the masses of an object interacting with another object, and every single object in the universe has its own gravity field. (thank you, Physics nationals I went to once, for forcing me to learn more about gravity!)

All for One is more akin to a star within a stable planetary system: it holds planets, satellites and comets (other Quirks) locked in its orbit, but any change can make all those objects lose their orbits and go wander in the deep space. Its hold is strong, but the fact still remains it can be nullified in order to give away Quirks. It’s also stable – its attraction/hold power doesn’t change with the number of Quirks taken, it simply gives it a bigger array of powers to work with.

One for All on the other hand would be closer to black hole: its gravity is so enormous even light, the fastest object in the universe, cannot escape it, and its mass (and therefore its gravity) grows stronger with every object it swallows. Once it grabs a hold of anything (its user’s other Quirk) it merges it with itself and keeps it for forever, with very little chance of it ever surfacing again as individual Quirk (unless your name is Midoriya Izuku). However, it heavily relies on the energy (other Quirks it merges with) to provide power-ups; hence the ridiculous difference between Izuku’s and Toshinori’s One for All. (also protagonst shenanigans, but we’re not going that far into metatextuality here – that needs its own essay)

So, concept-wise, One for All and All for One are again identical in the idea behind it, but drastically different in application – both still fucking scary, but what can we do here, our main protagonist and antagonist need to have OP armor around themselves.

This leads us to the probably the biggest spoiler I’ll discuss in this essay:

this panel.

In chapter 270 of manga, Shigaraki Tomura is revealed to have been passed All for One, which is a whole mindfuck in on itself that Horikoshi needs to explain stat because I’m going crazy over here with theories (!!!), but moving on. The short and extremely brief summary of what happens afterwards is: Heroes discover where Tomura is while he’s still being transferred All for One, they wreck the Nomus and facility, Shigaraki gets partial All for One and his original Quirk Decay goes absolutely nuts again, Izuku runs off to face him, and at one point point, while using Ragdoll’s Search, Shigakari utters a very strange sentence while seemingly under the influence of All for One (the Quirk):

“You will be mine… little brother.”

Moments later, Shigaraki snaps out of it and comments about Sensei (All for One) no longer being his puppeteer, that he’s making his own choices and not Sensei’s.

Here we get a stunning punch in the plexus about what we already have been hinted at during Izuku’s fight with Shinsou Hitoshi, during Kamino Ward and Joint Training Arcs:

One for All and All for One both retain the echoes of their past owners.

Now, here comes a million dollar question: is this something both the baseline ‘share’ part of One for All and All for One possess (which would further link the two Quirks, and also explain a lot of characterizations in the series so far), or is it an imprint of All for One on ‘stockpile’ part of One for All that ‘share’ part absorbed and made its own? Both possibilities are extremely intriguing and make any future possibility of unification (which was apparently Sensei’s original goal before, judging by that one panel) extremely volatile, and very intriguing if Horikoshi pursues that idea to its end.

Speaking of the man himself, now we arrive at the question that really started the whole essay here: how come it was All for One chosen to be the ultimate evil, and One for All to be ultimate good? As we’ve seen so far, both Quirks are startlingly similar; theoretically, could All for One be a ‘heroic’ Quirk and One for One for All ‘villainous’?

The answer is yes and no.

Yes, because theoretically, switching the two would still make the story work; it’d change the motivations of characters drastically, sure, and turn the story of generations of good trying defeat one evil into one good fending off generations of evil, but it’d work – and no, because that’d fundamentally change the society in which Boku no Hero Academia’s current time frame is, and society is the key underlying factor in this entire story.

Let me explain through the examples of three characters and a faction.

Midoriya Izuku is Quirkless person in a society who is, like I said at the beginning, half-in love with the idea of having Quirks – the fact that you have them makes you seem useful, someone with potential, no matter how objectively useless some Quirks inevitably can be in certain lines of work. By their standards, he’s without potential, and therefore is largely useless out of gate. Had All for One been in public eye and celebrated as Hero, he’d be the pinnacle of useful: there’d be no danger of bad reactions to donated Quirks in his DNA, and he, someone who wishes desperately for a Quirk, could easily be given a Quirk of someone who finds their life unbearable due to it.

Bakugou Katsuki, someone with extremely property-damaging Quirk, would constantly be told that if he doesn’t behave himself, he’d be sent off to All for One to have his Quirk taken away – in essence, he’d be no one special, just another kid with a Quirk. Since All for One is so visible, it’d be all too easy for parents and teachers to threaten their kids into compliance whenever they throw an over-powered tantrum with the removal of a Quirk; it’d also be a good deterrent for any Pro Heroes that existed there to not get too comfy with their jobs, because they could easily be taken out of it if they manage to anger All for One enough, which would deter some people from being Pro Heroes.

Shigaraki Tomura (Shimura Tenko), someone whose Quirk came in during an extremely traumatic event and left him so scarred mentally he was never quite the same again, could easily simply give away his Quirk and have something far less volatile and triggering if he wished so, and also have a chance of potentially one day seeing his Quirk in the hands of someone like Izuku or Melissa, who could use it to its full potential without being constantly triggered by it or being re-traumatized again and again by the society who would rail on him for having such a potentially devastating Quirk.

Meta Liberation Army (which is a poorly disguised Brotherhood of Mutants on Genosha in X-men cartoons, let’s be realistic – the whole thing about the superiority of fight-compatible Quirks was not subtle at all) would be a much smaller and a lot less influential group. The publicity of a Quirk being able to take away other Quirks would make the existence of Deika City clones very, very difficult; it’d take but one hint, one whisper of a fringe group amassing in remote location that wants to eliminate so-called ‘useless Quirks’ for All for One to act – as much of an asshole as he is, he was shown [cite] to like all kinds of Quirks, despite only keeping the ones he felt were the most useful to him.

OK, but what about them being on the same side? You might ask yourself. If they’re so similar, why not make them both on the same side?

One, drama is always more delicious if there are high personal stakes involved, and nothing gets more personal than family drama – that’s just a fact. (Kardashians, anyone?)

Two, this is shonen – openly bad guys being the protagonists isn’t often done (in mainstream at least).

Three: we need some material to make all those ‘Izuku’s related to All for One or One for All first user’ for our satisfaction before Horikoshi josses the whole thing, okay??

(no, this is certainly not a call for you to make more ‘Izuku is related to original two brothers’… but it’s heavily suggested lol)

Thank you for sticking around until the end of this essay! Have a cookie, and enjoy the hell my mind led me to during the binge-read of the last 5 released chapters of manga:

[cake-writes]

In Your Atmosphere (Part One)

Pairings: Steve x Reader & platonic Bucky x Reader (mostly)

Warnings: PTSD / Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Mental Health Issues, Survivor Guilt, Eventual Smut 18+

Summary: The first time you met Steve Rogers, he kissed the hell out of you. It wasn't the first time he met you.

---

Quiet.

That was the first thing you noticed about the new Avengers facility. It was a stark contrast to the Tower you'd visited a handful of times before whilst on official SHIELD business. There, you could easily hear the sounds of peak hour traffic and the endless police sirens, too, even ninety floors down - but here, there was nothing of the sort. It paled in comparison to the familiar city sounds of Washington DC, the ones you'd grown used to whilst working at the Triskelion. The paper-thin walls of your small inner-city apartment had done nothing to dull the noise, not like here, where you could just barely hear the spring birds chirping.

Upstate New York was quite rural, not urban like you were used to. Unfortunately, you'd have to get used to it, because as of today, this quiet place would be your new home.

You hated the quiet.

To say that it was a pain in the ass was an understatement.

Late last year, it had become public knowledge that SHIELD was compromised. You'd known for much longer. Even after the incriminating files were uploaded to the web, you remained steadfast in your mission to gather further intel on Hydra.

Then, a couple of days ago, you'd been caught putting your nose where it didn't belong. You had very narrowly escaped with your life and as a result, you found yourself having to get off the grid.

Tony Stark was ever the gracious host, offering up the compound while you regained your bearings and continued your investigation into what little of Hydra remained. Birds of a feather, and all that.

What made the whole ordeal even more jarring, though, was that you'd only previously met a couple of them, the Avengers, and now you were settling into their home. While you were familiar with Director Fury (wherever he was nowadays), Black Widow, and Hawkeye - because they worked with you at SHIELD; and Tony of course, too, because you often met with him in Agent Coulson's stead - the rest you'd only ever seen in photos.

The soft sound of your suitcase's plastic wheels rolling along the tile echoed off the tall ceilings as you followed Tony through the compound on a tour. You hadn't been able to bring much, just some clothes, toiletries, and a couple of sentimental items. That was all that would fit on the back of the motorcycle you'd been forced to hotwire. After all, a car wouldn't have been ideal if you had to get away in a pinch. All things considered, you were lucky to have made it here in one piece.

The final stop on the tour was your new bedroom. There were a lot of those here: enough for the Avengers, of course, and then at least triple that amount for other staff and for guests. You weren't sure which category you fell under.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate this," you said finally, coming to a stop behind Tony as he opened the bedroom door for you.

Tony laughed at that. "Don't worry about it, kid. Make yourself at home."

You gave him a smile and, when he gestured for you to go in, you stepped inside the corner suite.

The walls were a warm, welcoming combination of wood and plaster, and the room's large windows stretched from the floor to the ceiling, situated directly next to the closet and ensuite and catty-cornered from the doorway. They offered a beautiful panoramic view of the lush green grass on the training grounds, the dense forest bordering the compound, and the sparkling lake beyond. You'd been all sorts of places in your line of work, but this simple view was just as breathtaking.

On the same wall as the entryway was a large queen-sized bed made of honeyed oak. Its plush mattress was decked out in soft grey and white bedding, along with a few matching throw pillows. Two wooden side tables sat on either side of the bed, with a modern lamp placed on each; and a large flat-screen TV was mounted to the opposite wall. There was also a small chair, which you would very likely use for your suitcase.

"Thank you," you told him gratefully. "You're a lifesaver. Literally."

"That's enough of that, now," Tony chided as he made his exit. "I'll let you get settled. Just pop downstairs when you're ready to meet the team."

You nodded, and Tony shut the door behind him, allowing you to acclimate to your new home.

---

An hour later, after you unpacked your belongings, showered in the adjoining en-suite, and changed into fresh clothing - a plain tee shirt and skinny jeans - you made your way downstairs to the combined kitchen and living area. Before you even got there, you could hear lively conversation between a handful of people, four of them from the sounds of it. The facility already seemed much less sterile with the friendly banter spilling into the halls.

When you stepped into the room, you found that you were wrong. There were five of them, not four.

Natasha was the first to notice you. She was in the kitchen, fixing herself some kind of healthy smoothie. Beside her on the kitchen counter was a bag of spinach and a chopping board full of fruit. When she gave you a nod and flashed a quick smile, you did the same in response. You'd been good friends for a couple of years, now, and once upon a time the two of you used to go out drinking pretty frequently upon returning from the missions you went on together. She'd seen you sloppy drunk more times than you could count, but you'd never even seen her tipsy. She was Russian. You were a lightweight.

Your eyes moved from her to Tony, who looked comfortable and smug as always. He was sitting in a brown leather chair with his feet up on the coffee table, a glass of whiskey in hand, chatting animatedly with Vision about some type of advanced science or engineering or... something. You didn't really understand any of it. What you did gather was that it had to do with the mission they'd just returned from.

Stretched out on the sofa was Wanda, with her feet in Vision's lap. That was certainly a bizarre sight. They were both dressed so casually compared to the uniforms you'd seen them in; particularly Vision, considering he wasn't human but his sweater and button-down shirt were distinctly so. The funniest part of it all was that Wanda was scrolling through her Insta feed in boredom. You totally understood.

The last person you spotted was the unmistakable silhouette of Captain Steve Rogers. His back was turned toward you and the rest of the room as he looked out the large windows toward the lake, deep in thought. That was a strange sight, too, for you'd never seen Captain America in civilian clothing, let alone such a form-fitting white tee shirt and grey sweatpants like he currently wore. God, he really did have a fantastic ass. You'd always thought so from the photos you'd seen, but seeing it in real life was an entirely different animal altogether.

"There she is," Tony said with a grin, pulling you out of your reverie as his companions turned to look at you.

"Here I am," you responded awkwardly, doubting that most of them even knew who you were.

Tony introduced you to them one by one. Wanda was first; she gave you a smile and waved a little, but aside from that she didn't budge an inch. She seemed only a couple of years younger than you, which was kind of nice because you might be able to chat with her about normal girly things. You had an Insta, too, and as you offered her your handle - not that you really expected her to actually follow you, but she did! - Vision gently moved Wanda's feet to the side so that he could stand and greet you properly.

"It's a pleasure, Agent," Vision told you, and you shook his hand cheerfully. He was much kinder than you thought he would be.

"Come on, Cap," Tony called over his shoulder, sounding exasperated. "Don't be rude."

"Come off it, Tony," Steve grumbled in annoyance, which came as a bit of a surprise. Then again, it wasn't exactly a secret that he and Tony didn't get along sometimes. He took a few steps back to the group, but when his clear blue eyes finally met yours, he froze in place.

"Captain…?" you ventured hesitantly.

The way he was looking at you, almost mystified, made you blush and when he said your nickname, just once, your brows furrowed in confusion. Tony hadn't had a chance to give anyone your nickname, yet, let alone your actual name. How could he have known that? You'd never met him before.

Then Steve closed the distance in four quick, long strides and, before you could react, his lips were hot on yours.

You were too stunned to react at first. His lips were soft, but his kisses weren't, nor were his hands as they snaked around your waist to pull your body flush against him. You couldn't hold back the muffled gasp that escaped you at the feeling of his strong chest pressed firmly against your breasts and you felt like a ragdoll in his muscular arms, loving how easily he was able to move you in whatever way he liked. His temperature ran much hotter than yours, so much that you could feel the heat radiating off of him through the thin fabric of your shirt. God, and the smell of him was intoxicating; he smelled clean, like soap and fresh laundry along with something so distinctly him that you lost yourself in it. When you responded to his kiss in kind, you quickly found yourself breathless, needy, and desperate, your heart pounding fiercely against your ribcage.

That was when Tony's cat calls resonated in your brain, and you suddenly realized what was happening. You roughly shoved your palms against Steve's chest, hoping he would stop and also wishing that he wouldn't. Considering his strength, you knew that he could have just ignored you - but he didn't. He immediately let you go, and you instantly regretted the loss of his body against yours.

What a mess.

Your breath came out in harsh, shaky pants as you brought your fingers to your swollen lips, staring at him with a delicate mixture of awe, indignation, and fear.

Captain America was a pervert. Your rose-tinted image of him was steadily crashing and burning into a million pieces.

"What the hell,"  you spat hoarsely, "was that?"

It was in that moment that the good Captain finally seemed to regain his senses. All the eyes in the room were on him, silently judging him - except Tony, who was laughing his head off - but the only ones he cared about were yours. And yours, well, your eyes and your judgement were the worst of all. With one look, he could tell you already despised him.

The worst part was that he couldn't even explain it to you. Well, he could, technically, but there would be grave consequences.

Steve held his hands up in front of him in a show of surrender. "Wish I could explain, doll," he grimaced at the casual address when it slipped off his tongue so easily, "but I can't."

He didn't miss the way your jaw tensed at his non-answer. He knew you - well, not this version of you, but he still knew how you would react. You were teetering on the fine line between slapping the hell out of him and storming out of the room. Either reaction would embarrass you, and he didn't want that.  

"What I can do is apologize," he spoke carefully, like you were a cornered animal, "and I'm sorry, Agent. It won't happen again."

You crossed your arms in front of yourself, biting the inside of your cheek. He certainly looked apologetic enough, but you weren't sure if he really meant it and, worse still, if you could even trust him at all. He was Captain America, leader of the Avengers. Even Natasha trusted him. Surely that meant he was trustworthy, but what man in his right mind kissed a girl like that before he even said two words to her?

When Tony's laughter had died down, you weren't sure, but you could feel all eyes on the room fixed upon you, now, and you shifted uncomfortably under their scrutiny. You glanced over at Natasha for help and, upon seeing her amused look, you finally remembered your training. The best course of action here would be diplomacy.

"Okay." You offered a perfectly calculated shrug and casually held your hand out to him for a handshake. "Well, whatever. It's good to meet you, Captain."

Steve could feel the trembling of your small hand in his grasp. He shook it once, and then he let it go.

You could immediately tell that he'd figured you out, that you were putting on a brave facade. Whether you were afraid of him or of your body's reaction to him, you didn't know, but you wouldn't let it show. Not in front of the others. Not in front of Tony. Not when he was being such a gracious host.

"Well, that was awkward," you said with a nervous laugh in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

Fortunately, it worked, and soon enough the conversation began to flow freely again. Tony and Vision continued discussing their science, the kind that was way above your paygrade, while Natasha finished adding ingredients to her smoothie. Wanda had since stopped laying down, instead she sat in the middle of the sofa which allowed you to take a seat next to her. She showed you her Insta feed while she scrolled through it, and the two of you chatted about the new makeup releases that appeared as she scrolled further and further down. Every now and then, she gave you a sly grin, which you did your best to ignore. You definitely hadn't heard the last of it yet.

You were keenly aware of him, though, even as you tried to forget about the way your heart was racing. Your body was still thrumming with excitement from the encounter, heat pooling in between your legs, and you risked a glance at him. His cheeks were slightly flushed as he talked to Natasha about something you couldn't hear, her blender whirring loudly over their voices. You knew it was being used as some type of cover, but you still tried - and failed - not to pay attention.

Then your eyes met his for the briefest of seconds, and you quickly looked away.

---

After a few distracted minutes, your phone buzzed, and you quietly excused yourself from Wanda to pull it out of your pocket. Natasha had sent you a text.

You shot Natasha a look and she grinned at you, to which you rolled your eyes. It looked like Steve had left her to her smoothie, and you quickly scanned around the room only to discover that he was nowhere to be found. He must have slipped away sometime while you were blatantly ignoring him.

Well, that was kind of disappointing, but you didn't let it show. Instead, you responded to her text with righteous indignation.

Then she sent you a picture of what had just happened, a very clear photo of Captain America kissing the living daylights out of you. God, you knew how well he could kiss, now, but seeing your reaction to it on the small screen was even worse.

When had he even leaned you back? You weren't parallel to the floor or anything, like in the movies, but he had definitely leaned you back, forcing your body to rely on him. Perhaps 'forcing' was too strong a word, because you hadn't been forced at all - quite the opposite. One of his muscular arms was around your waist, and with the other he splayed his large palm over the middle of your back, holding you securely against him so that you didn't fall. Your fingers, meanwhile, were threading through his blonde hair, pulling him impossibly closer. It wasn't hard to see the shared desperation between the two of you, a desperation you'd never felt before.

Feeling embarrassed, you huffed and hovered your fingertip over the 'delete' button. Natasha had a point, though, and you just couldn't bring yourself to delete it. She was right. You did love it.

That was going to be a problem.

---

Part Two / Master List

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 096: Home Visits

Previously on BnHA: The police worried over the fall of All Might and the growing threat of Tomura and his League of Villains. All Might left the matter of Tomura to Gran Torino and Naomasa, and resolved to focus on his teaching duties. Rescue Squad Jr. delivered Kacchan to the police and disbanded. Shouto went home to find Endeavor throwing a little baby fit over the way his whole “surpass All Might” master plan worked out (good riddance). Izuku went home and his mom was amazing, and then like ten seconds after getting home he ran out on her again. Thankfully All Might punched him in the face afterward. And then he hugged him. And told him he was no longer able to be the Symbol of Peace, but that he was going to dedicate himself to Izuku’s education, and that they’d both do their best together. It was incredibly moving, and probably the highlight of the series for me up to this point.

Today on BnHA: All Might officially retires. Rat Principal announces his plan to move the students into dorms on campus. Aizawa changes up his hair for the thrill of it and heads out with All Might to meet with the students’ families. Jirou’s parents are super cool and I love them. Katsuki’s family is everything you would have ever expected, and I love them also. Katsuki follows All Might outside after the visit and asks about All Might’s relationship with Deku. But All Might remains tight-lipped, so Katsuki backs off (and then quietly thanks him for saving his life, no big). All Might then splits off from Aizawa to go visit the Midoriya household, only to find that Deku’s mom isn’t exactly brimming with confidence in U.A. Which is to say that she’s refusing to let Deku go back there. This could put a damper on that whole “he’s the main character of this manga about a superhero school” thing, so stay tuned.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 145 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

father and son color page!

now that All Might is more or less permanently stuck in his true form, I wonder if he’ll consider buying some clothes that actually fit him. that’s my dream. fucking do it, Toshinori

okay so we’re opening with a broadcast from the people who actually come up with these hero rankings. interesting!

the rankings are apparently based on (1) number of cases resolved, (2) level of contribution to society, and (3) popularity ratings, “among many other things”

no wonder no one was able to beat All Might. he has all three of those locked down. or did, at any rate

anyway, since he’s suddenly announced his retirement, things have obviously been shaken up

-- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BEST JEANIST. YOU BRAVE, BEAUTIFUL BASTARD. GET WELL SOON. DOES YOUR OFFICE FUCKING SAY “GENIUS” ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. AS EXPECTED FROM SOMEONE WHO STRAIGHT UP PUT THE WORD “BEST” IN HIS SUPERHERO NAME

Ragdoll was apparently the #32 hero!? I can’t believe she got sacrificed to the plot like this. fucking shameful

fffklsdhflk she’s crying and traumatized and the other pussycats are rallying around her omg

I didn’t order these feels. what is this

apparently they’re now calling this incident the “nightmare at Kamino”

okay so now that we’ve caught up with basically everyone else who was involved in the incident, and had our All Might and Deku passing-of-the-torch feels in the last chapter, I really want to know how the boy whose abduction sparked all this to begin with is doing

and we’re cutting back to U.A., so dare I hope? it’s probably still summer break, though

the Rat Principal is thanking All Might for his sacrifice

and then immediately giving him a hard time afterwards about all the criticism they’ve gotten about All Might continuing to work at U.A.

wow, really? people are the fucking worst

so apparently it’s another safety concern thing. because he can no longer fight, and these kids get attacked by villains every Tuesday

like, I get that. but he’s not the only one on staff?? they have at least a dozen other pros working there for god’s sake

omg omg omg he’s talking about moving ahead with a strategy that he’s been thinking about for a while

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OMG

YESSSSSSSSS

FAREWELL, FANFIC LODGE. HELLO, FANFIC DORMS

omgggg

we’re immediately cutting to All Might and Aizawa

they’re visiting with Jirou’s parents first, and they’re fucking rock star stereotypes omg, but more importantly Aizawa has done something different with his hair

I’VE GOTTEN COMPLETELY DISTRACTED. WHAT WAS HAPPENING

OH RIGHT JIROU AND HER FAM WERE BEING AMAZING

HOLY SHIT I WANT THEM TO ADOPT ME?!

AND NOW WE’RE BACK IN THE CAR, AND AIZAWA AND ALL MIGHT ARE MOVING ALONG ON THEIR EPIC ROADTRIP OF MEETING EVERYONE’S PARENTS

FUCKING LOOK AT AIZAWA HERE THOUGH??!?

YES PLEASE OH MY GOD. YOU KNOW WHAT, I’LL BUY YOU ONE

AHHHHHH

RED ALERT ALL MIGHT AND AIZAWA ARE VISITING BAKUGOU’S PARENTS. ALL MIGHT AND AIZAWA ARE VISITING BAKUGOU’S FUCKING PARENTS. BAKUGOU HAS PARENTS!!! WE’RE GONNA MEET ‘EM!! AIZAWA’S HAIR GAME IS ON FUCKING POINT AND THEY’RE VISITING BAKUGOU’S HOME, BAKUGOU WHO WAS SAVED BY ALL MIGHT AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD ALL MIGHT USED UP THE LAST OF HIS POWER

THE HYPE IS FUCKING UNREAL YOU GUYS I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING LOSE MY MIND I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST SCROLL DOWN ALREA --

OHHH MY GODDDDDDDD

LOLLLLL. “HERE GO AHEAD HE’S ALL YOURS.” FINE I FUCKING WILL!!!!

(ETA: by the way guys, I know some people in the fandom view Mitsuki as being abusive, and while I respect everyone’s opinion, I don’t interpret their relationship that way at all and don’t really have the time or mental energy to get into any discourse about it right now, so hopefully we’re cool here)

FDSLAHK KACCHAN’S DAD!?!?

OH MY GOD MISTER BAKUGOU I LOVE YOU INSTANTLY

WHAT IS THIS I CAN’T KEEP STANNING EVERYONE’S FAMILIES GODDAMMIT

THE ONLY ONE WHO’S ACTUALLY GOING TO GIVE THEM A HARD TIME IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE SHOUTO’S DAD ISN’T IT. OR MAYBE DEKU’S MOM

-- OH MY GOD. I JUST REALIZED THAT ALL MIGHT IS FINALLY GOING TO MEET DEKU’S MOM. THEY CAN’T STOP IT THIS TIME. HAHAHAHAA I FEEL SO ALIVE ALL OF A SUDDEN!!

oh my god you guys Bakugou’s mom is seriously the best though?? now she’s metaing about her son. I am taking notes

[nodding] yep. yep. it all checks out. thank you ma’am we will take good care of him. this time. for sure

and then the hair ruffle in the end because she really does love him a lot of course

I am so envious of this woman right now. but mostly just on cloud nine that someone is actually hair-ruffling Bakugou. AND HE JUST HAS TO SIT THERE AND ACCEPT IT BECAUSE IT’S HIS MOM HAHAHA. SHE LOVES YOU. YOU PUNK

now All Might wants a drink lmaooo

this chapter is amazing

Aizawa says Deku’s next because they live close by! omg. omg. it’s happening

-- HOLD UP SOMETHING ELSE IS HAPPENING FIRST?!?!?!

oh my god

oh my god

Kacchan, I could write a whole damn essay on the topic. but that’s not really what you’re asking though, is it

All Might’s staring at him and it’s quiet for a sec

“...a student.” lol you fucking liar

I mean, not that I expected him to actually tell him. as far as he’s concerned, the secret is for Deku’s sake

and plus Aizawa is standing right there too. watching. probably curious. probably doing the math his own self, just like every other fucking person apparently does in this series smh

now Bakugou’s mom is yelling at him that the cops told him not to go outside

oh MY GOD

TWO THINGS JUST FUCKING HAPPENED THAT I’VE BEEN PRAYING FOR, HOLY SHIT?!

HE KNOWS (and he understands that it’s a secret and that All Might can’t say and that there’s probably a very good reason for that)

HE THANKED HIM. FOR SAVING HIM. I WANTED A SCENE LIKE THIS SO FUCKING BAD YOU GUYS, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. EVER SINCE HE MADE THAT FACE IN CHAPTER 87 AFTER ALL MIGHT BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL AND SAVED HIM FROM TOMURA’S GROUP. AND THEN HE WENT AND SAVED HIM AGAIN FROM ALL FOR ONE, AND HE SACRIFICED EVERYTHING IN THAT BATTLE, AND KACCHAN UNDERSTANDS THAT, AND HE’S PROBABLY BEEN FEELING THE WEIGHT OF IT THIS ENTIRE TIME. WONDERING IF IT WAS HIS FAULT IN THE END. THAT’S WHY HE WAS SO QUIET AFTERWARD

(ETA: hey past me. you’re gonna love what’s coming up. here, I’ll give you a special preview of my liveblog of chapter 118: “oh my god. angst baby. angst for days angst for weeks lifetime supply yessss”)

anyways, we already knew that All Might had his admiration, but now it’s clear that he has his respect and gratitude too and I’m so fucking over the moon omgggg

Kacchan I know you already have a dad, and he seems fucking great, but please can All Might be your dad too oh my god

fanfic dorms and Aizawa changing up the hair and Kacchan being smart and respectful and grateful. can this chapter fucking get any better

yes it fucking can because NOW ALL MIGHT IS FINALLY AT DEKU’S HOUSE

and he’s DITCHED AIZAWA TOO, which ignites the flame of hope in me that maybe Izuku’s mom will finally get some version of the truth about what’s really going on with her son, which she fucking deserves to know and has a right to know

wow, could Deku be any more nervous

kid, just yesterday you were getting soft dad hugs from this man on the beach. relax

aww Toshinori is looking at all of Deku’s All Might memorabilia hanging fucking everywhere, and he’s smiling

-- oooooooh I had a feeling this was gonna happen. ever since that phone call at the hospital

I don’t even blame her. based on everything that’s happened since Deku first started attending U.A., she’d have to be out of her fucking mind to just agree to it right off the bat. he’s nearly died like 700 times, and he’s gotten all secretive and weird and never talks to her anymore. and really, if I were her, by this point I would have been ready to pull him out of the school and maybe slap a damn ankle monitor on him for good measure

so now All Might has to somehow convince her that he has her son’s best interests at heart. not an easy task

I’m just going to post this entire page because finally she’s getting to say her piece and I’m so glad, because she’s been having to put up with this for what feels like ages

yep yep yep. yep to all of it. she’s not stupid, she can see where this is leading at this rate. and All Might may be Deku’s dad but she is still the actual parent

-- oop and then she slipped up at the very last second though

ahhhhh Izumama you left an opening. a weak spot in your argument has been exposed...!

(because he wasn’t happier. obviously)

now Deku’s standing up and protesting, but she’s shooting him down

she says she told him that she’d be cheering him on, but also worrying about him

and now he’s finally realizing that he hasn’t taken her feelings into account this entire time

and it’s being dragged out, but clearly she’s about to say that she’s pulling Izuku out of the school

yep here we go

well, All Might. you faced down the Noumu at USJ and beat it even when you were at your limit. you faced down All for One, twice, and survived a bowels-strewing injury, and then later on sacrificed every last ounce of power you had left to take him down. but you did that too. but now you face your greatest challenge: the wrath of a mom

and not just any mom, but Midoriya “where the fuck do you think he gets that crazed determination from anyway” Izuku’s motherfucking mom

good luck, man. you’re gonna need it

 BONUS:

  IT’S THE BAKUFAM YESSSS REVEAL YOUR SECRETS

Kacchan’s dad is only 5 foot 8. does that mean Kacchan (who is 5’7”) has almost reached his full adult height. or is he aiming to be taller than his pop. AIMING TO BE THE BEST

(ETA: it was pointed out to me that Masaru is actually 5’10”. good news, Katsuki! you’re not out of the game yet!)

he likes classical music omfg. I bet he played music for Kacchan when he was still in the womb. and that’s why he grew up to be so damn smart. too bad it didn’t help him to chill the fuck out though

and info about their quirks omg

so apparently Kacchan is one of those cases where the child is actually a combination of the parents’ quirks, and the end result is a way, way better quirk! his parents basically pulled an Endeavor, but naturally and without all of the fucked up forced marriage bullshit omfg

but yeah, so basically from this it sounds like Kacchan inherited his father’s explosive sweat with his mother’s ability to control the sweat. also I wonder if her sweat has any special properties of its own that might also be present in his

this is kind of a gross thing to be talking about when I think about it for too long, but eh

I fucking love that Mitsuki was the one who hit on Masaru (VERY AGGRESSIVELY) and not the other way around lol

it’s super fucking cute that Katsuki’s name is a combination of their names

(ETA: speaking of Katsuki’s name, since this kid still doesn’t have an official hero name, I’ve been wondering if that 勝 kanji from his given name might come into play, since it means “victory”, and to me represents one of the more noble aspects of his character. his original rejected hero name was based off of his quirk and was a pun on his last name, so I kind of like the idea of his final hero name being related to that “win no matter what” determination, and being based off his first name

this is, of course, assuming that Horikoshi doesn’t ultimately go with “Ground Zero”, which was apparently mentioned in some concept art or something. but I’ve been looking at some of the character book stuff recently, and it’s clear that a lot of stuff has changed since Horikoshi came up with his original concepts, so I don’t exactly consider that set in stone lol)

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/30 NXT 12/02 NXT UK 12/03 Smackdown 12/04 Takeover War Games 12/06 + Main Event 12/03

Raw:

...Yeah hi, what the fuck is with the doll trapped inside of the table? Is that a metaphor for Alexa??

I’m so happy for her being able to have segments with Orton. Good for her.

Alexa’s like a mere inch taller than me so she’s a nice gauge as to to how tall the men’s roster is in comparison, and Randy? Fucking tall.

So the writing was on the wall; Fiend cares about Alexa (whether the nature is abusive is irrelevant to this point) and Randy has figured out how to use Alexa as a pawn to manipulate Fiend. I was kind of hoping Fiend/Alexa were in control of the gameboard, but it seems I’ve been duped.

The only complaint I have about this is how... compliant and helpless Alexa was in this segment. She’s not only been possessed/traumatized into caring about Fiend, but furthermore she does care about him, so why wouldn’t she be fighting against Randy when she was in his arms? The writing of her character in this particular segment seemed shallow. I know she can play whatever emotion they want from her, so to not ask for any emotions at all is curious.

Also the only person who isn’t a heel here is Alexa, and I won’t really hear any argument on the manner. Fiend is a predator at best. Orton is a psychotic douchebag.

My head hurts. Imagine Becky being stuck in a tag team with Lana rather than throwing a huge fit about not being able to defend her title for fucking months.

“Sarah you wouldn’t understand, but Shayna and I are about to-- *starts smiling like a fucking idiot*” Wow I want to defend wwe’s incessant need for giving Lana a storyline but I’m so fucking tired of abysmal promos. God. I. Miss. Becky. WHY is the Raw women’s champion wrapped up in this??

“First of all... ew.” lolololol

Shayna’s hatred for Lana is fucking hilarious.

Why is it, whenever Nia and Shayna do their dual barricade ragdoll move, Nia always gets the lighter one?

Nia fucking pummeled Lana lmao.

I kind of wish this story had a live crowd, I’d like to see if all of this was actually buying Lana some goodwill from the audience.

Hilarious watching Lana sit on the bottom rope for a few seconds before climbing through onto the apron, before slinking down to a sitting position, before finally collapsing onto the floor barely peering into the ring. Tf is she doing rofl.

Now she jumped up onto the apron lacking any enthusiasm, tagged herself in, and is climbing onto the turnbuckle while seemingly sobbing. What in the fuck lmao.

God Asuka is working overtime here.

*Bonus* online exclusive: how fun, Lana and Asuka are singing and dancing together. This division is turning into a garbage fire rq.

Oh is Mandy still out with an injury in kf?

Love it when new debuts get no fucking entrance. Yikes.

Mia Yim had such a dope theme song and entrance, I can’t believe it’s been scrapped so that she can call herself “Reckoning” and hang out in some dead-end group. Shame.

Oh my god. Mia loses to Dana via rollup after taking virtually no offense. What a waste of everyone’s time. I see this going nowhere, absolutely nowhere.

*Bonus* online exclusive: lmfao the Nikki Cross interview was worth a mention. First off, Nikki looks gorgeous. Second, I feel like this is the beginning of her run of not appearing on Raw because she isn’t deemed developed enough outside of a tag team, which is sad. Third, rofl @ her giving Sarah sheep’s stomach chicken to eat, I have no words. Anyway, she should be a solid midcarder. Get it together wwe.

Highlight: Probably the Nikki Cross online exclusive

---

NXT:

They got Shotzi something that glows. Wow.

Why is there a silhouette as if Io isn’t already added to the team? Why wouldn’t she be? Shayna was in last year’s, why wouldn’t Io be in this year’s? Is this supposed to be suspenseful?? lmao plz.

Indi did not take a bullet for you, she was just an idiot. Also why does this bitch still have a neck brace on? It was an Eclipse, let’s get real for a second.

Why you acting like your team is cohesive anyway? Doesn’t Dakota hate you? Didn’t Toni just turn heel for virtually no fucking reason, after defending/consoling Shotzi and attacking Candice like a sore loser? *sigh*

I know fans are really into WarGames but I find the alliances really fucking weak every year. It’s as bad as Survivor Series, just with more weapons and brutality.

So Xia Li lost some matches and now she’s being tortured... okay. I’m gonna keep my comments on this to a minimum cuz I can tell this will be some long-term story.

Oh I really like how their respective team members are standing up in the back on balconies. I really fucking like the layout of this arena. Huge fan.

Why Shotzi vs Raquel though? Why is the team captain fighting? That’s not typical for these, is it?

Ugh failure to throw Shotzi through the ropes. There’s just... a skill gap in the division, you know? And Shotzi and Raquel are on the lower end of that gap. I don’t care if people love Shotzi, she’s MILES away from being a champion. What saves her is her risk-taking, but it’s just a matter of time before that bites her in the ass.

Shotzi’s offense is doing a minimal amount of potential damage to her opponent while taking herself out in the most convoluted way possible. She’s Sasha Banks on steroids.

You call it innovative, I call it foolish.

Raquel just standing there waiting with stairs in her hands. Beast.

Shotzi can’t have a kf leg injury, that negates 95% of her offense!

Limpy vs Gimpy

Setting up that ladder in the corner was clunky as shit.

A pure ladder stip is hard to have in a women’s singles match, but this match is a big pile of meh.

Honestly I’m not about to complain about all of these women getting involved because this is borderline boring.

AYYYEEE it’s Io! Io saved this match tbh. Love her, THAT’S my champion.

Give Shotzi’s team the advantage, I doubt they win anyway.

To be honest; you have former nxt champion Ember Moon, inaugural UK champion and former nxt champion who fought against Charlotte fucking Flair at WrestleMania Rhea Ripley, and current champion that beat Charlotte fucking Flair for the title Io Shirai. The idea of that team losing is laughable at best in kf. But they will, cuz fuck babyfaces.

*Bonus* online exclusive: What surprises could you possibly have in store aside from some random weapons? Also fuck your howl. Edit: she was talking about her stupid new tank, wasn’t she...

Highlight: Io showing up at the end of the ladder match

---

NXT UK:

Who’s this green-shirt bro and why did he run over there to break up the brawl as if there aren’t 2 dozen officials already? Men needlessly getting involved in women’s fights irritates the shit out of me.

He also got in the way of the shot for the majority of this clip. I hate him. 

I hope Jinny wins this future match.

This Aleah girl is like a cross between Kacy and Alexa, and honestly I hate it. Which is odd cuz I love them. She pisses me off though. Not sure what to make of it.

So supposedly Valkyrie is undefeated? That’s good. Let’s keep that going.

Valkyrie has nice counters and is super athletic. I say this every time I watch one of her matches but she deserves more praise.

I hate that women on UK get so little time. Send Valkyrie and KLR to nxt and send Dakota and Rhea to the MR, thanks.

I’d pay to see Valkyrie vs KLR too!

Still not a fan of Valkyrie’s finisher. Love her gear though, it looks different.

Highlight: Always a pleasure watching Valkyrie

---

Smackdown:

Lmfao Bayley “fails” to break the count before rolling back outside, so she rolls back in and fucking stomps her feet while yelling at the ref. She’s good. She’s good at the basics, good at paying attention to her surroundings, and good at improvising.

Bayley and Nattie are smooth together. They’ve never had a match, right? Other than this?

Love how Bianca has all of Bayley’s attention.

Bayley just used Nattie’s discus clothesline against her lmao. What a troll.

I remember when Bayley tapped, her entire fanbase was crying claiming she was buried. Watching it myself, she is so obviously entering into a program with Bianca. Christ 90% of her attention was on Bianca throughout the match.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Bianca just told Bayley her hair ain’t even and she looks dusty, good fucking bye.

mmmm not sure if Sasha has the admiration of the wwe universe. Look she’s a remarkable talent in the ring, but she is insanely annoying outside of it. She’s changed nothing from the time she was heel, other than no longer cheating to win. She obnoxiously cackles, she’s egotistical, she gets along with legit nobody. I’m not convinced the crowd would even cheer her, even if she’s one of the best bell to bell. Her fans can call her the number 1 babyface, but that’s a stretch if I’ve ever heard one.

“I won the first 2 women’s mitb” aaggghhhhh I hate that Carmella still claims that. Debatable. De-ba-ta-ble.

Lol “I can’t help if men are obsessed with me,” alright sure. That’s good tbh. Carmella is a notorious cheat but regardless, that’s good.

Well the reason y’all never faced one on one is because Carmella’s a Smackdown veteran and you just got here, but I digress.

So where’s the army that still runs around crying that Becky buried her when she called her the greatest woman to never be great (facts)? Where’s the outrage for Sasha demeaning Carmella and claiming she’s not in her league? Sasha fans are wild.

“With half the work I’m better than you. I held onto that Smackdown woman’s title longer than all of your title reigns combined.” omg she’s dead. Shots fired, target hit. Someone call Sasha a hearse. 

Instead of sitting there making ugly faces, Sasha really should’ve gotten up and left. Lick her wounds or something kekek.

Highlight: I’m into this Bayley/Bianca thing they’re building

---

Takeover WarGames:

I just think it’s so cool that wwe shelled out the money for a Black Sabbath song. Of course they can afford it, but for a Takeover? Points.

Nobody wants to come take out Candice rq? No? Nobody at all???

Oh hell yeah Dakota gets to start? Good for her, since she skipped out on it last year.

I don’t fucking get Ember Moon’s persona, but I like her lit gear tonight.

“Aiming it square at Team LeRae” sometimes I wonder if Vic is simply blind.

The concept of this match is fun, but it always feels a little hollow until the match actually starts.

So cool that they got Wade Barrett on commentary in nxt.

Sloppy headscissors by Ember, but Dakota sold well per usual. Not sure why they’d have Ember run the marathon.

I’d pay so much money to see the 4hw in a WarGames match.

Oh that’s cool, Raquel put her hand up to protect Ember’s face from Dakota’s kick. We appreciate a performer that protects her coworkers.

That sunset flip powerbomb by Shotzi onto Raquel off the ropes was neat.

Toni up in here just removing all the turnbuckles. I wonder if running into exposed turnbuckles actually hurts that much.

Toni barely taps Ember with a kendo stick and she acting like she’s dying.

Man that 6 woman thing was so choreographed. Even did a countdown.

Io ma’am we don’t-- we don’t need ladders... okay. Okay.

Io scaling the cage and Raquel knocking her off like in Super Mario Brothers.

I feel like WarGames is convoluted enough, but sure, let’s get into the winter of overbooked women’s matches. New season, same bullshit.

AHAHAHAHAH IO’S FUCKING SMILE. She is standing on top of the cage putting a garbage can over her head, and has the audacity to wear a shit eating grin. I cannot, this girl is crazy and I love her.

Stupid spot? Maybe. Is Io batshit insane for jumping like 10 feet down completely blind? Absolutely. Points.

CLEAN ddt by Io onto Raquel. Spiked.

Candice is dumb. Got a trash can lid standing opposite Shotzi who’s wielding a chair. Candice throws the lid, says ‘hold on’, then climbs through the ropes to grab a kendo stick while crying ‘help’. Grabs her kendo stick, goes to bat against Shotzi, gets her hand smashed lmao. Idiot.

Oh that was perfectly timed. Dakota busts Shotzi with a chair strike and barely even begins to turn around before Io missile dropkicks the chair into her from out of nowhere.

Dakota stuck a trash can over Io and then did a double stomp that impacted the trash can so badly she couldn’t slide it off lol. eesh.

Is Ember gonna attempt to Eclipse someone onto a set of upright chairs... Omg no. You’re gonna take the brunt of this, jfc don’t.

Oh good god what a fucking beautifully bad idea. I hope you’re okay bro. Man Dakota FLIPPED over. Nasty, nasty move.

That Storm Zero through a trash can was ace. Honestly I see a lot more potential for Toni here in nxt than over on UK.

This is a really good match. 

It’s not that I hate the coffin drop off the ladder onto Candice, but Candice really ruined it by preemptively grabbing a chair and holding it on top of herself. Kind of spelled out exactly how that was gonna go.

Io and Rhea make an amazing team.

Rhea and being thrown into the cage on the outside of the ropes, name a more iconic duo. I’ve heard that’s the worst part about cage matches cuz your skin legit gets dragged against the links as you slide down.

Holy shit Io just got powerbombed through a ladder. OOF.

That’s the ending?? Raquel pinned Io for the ending??? Holllllyyyy shit.

Interestingly enough, I’d have to say the 2 team captains did the least amount of notable work.

What took out Shotzi: On screen the last bump she took was her coffin drop onto Candice, which kept her from saving Io. Mess.

Some great spots for sure. Recency bias might be a thing, but I feel like I enjoyed this one more than last year’s.

Highlight: That Eclipse onto the chairs to Dakota was WICKED

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

Main event giving people promo time? Is this typical??

Okay look. You acknowledged Alexa is brainwashed. You acknowledged that she chose him (even though she’s brainwashed so you really shouldn’t be upset). Now you’re claiming SHE came out and slapped you, as if you haven’t been relentlessly bothering her about her boyfriend that she chose because she’s brainwashed, and as if you weren’t the one who came out and confronted her. Is this not super problematic to anyone else??? Nikki this doesn’t make you a victim or even a decent person/friend lmao.

It’s a good promo though. Good delivery, very buyable.

WHY DO I GOTTA HEAR THE CAW MUSIC???

I know Lacey’s being a bitch, but it’s an awful hair style, Sarah. I’m sorry.

Lmao Lacey is so god damn funny when she has someone to play off of. I can see the appeal in her and Peyton, I can see it. I can see it. The pairing should absolutely not last long because Lord they’re abysmal in the ring together, but outside? Swell, just swell.

Lacey will always have a job solely for her character work if nothing else.

Haha Lacey running from Nikki. She’s a treat.

Really thought that spinning heel kick was gonna be the end of it.

This match is definitely Main Event(tm) worthy, but I’m glad it has some semblance of a story going into it.

Peyton’s jump kick looks dumb.

Probably for the best that Nikki loses this, even if Peyton is awful.

---

*WarGames was definitely the highlight in an otherwise really lame week of wrestling. I don’t even have a runner-up, I’m just thankful for WarGames.

[teacupballerina]

Thank you, everyone, for your support and kind words.

I rarely if ever make posts about my life, especially for these past few weeks. With so many people following for Samurai Jack stuff, I’m trying to stay positive and focus on the things that make me happy. I’m drawing again, I’m doing job interviews; I have something to look forward to that makes me feel truly, genuinely excited for the first time in years--years I’ve spent waiting specifically for it. So, for those of you who only want to see that kind of content, scroll on. The rest of this post will be under a cut.

Yesterday, after I posted about Gracie, she was taken back to the vet. My stepmom tried to get her to take her medicine, but she wouldn’t even with her favorite food. She was also walking on the knuckles of her hind legs and could barely walk at all. When she went to the vet, they said she wasn’t on a strong enough heart medication. She was also bloated with at least 2 pounds of fluid, but she wasn’t really peeing or anything, so the vet gave her a diuretic and they came home. 

She was fine for a little while, maybe 10 minutes. She drank a LOT of water, like she hadn’t drank anything in days, then it all came back up with mucus. My sister looked up the medicine and we found out that side effects occur in 5% of dogs and are serious. She started visibly shaking (seizure), her breathing got worse, and she was so weak she was like a ragdoll...before she was taken back to the vet, I just knew. I could feel her dying. I made sure to kiss her and hug and pet her and tell her I loved her...I didn’t want her to die, but I didn’t know if she would come back alive. I’ve lost so many chances to say final goodbyes.

They gave her anti nausea medicine and said her lungs had actually cleared up a little from the x-rays...when she came home she was still weak, but she drank some water and didn’t throw up...it was still hard for her to pee but she did it a few times. She wouldn’t eat, either, hadn’t really eaten in a few days...when up until this week she was the worst beggar of all the dogs and lived for food. 

When she went back to the vet, they said she was in full cardiac arrest...but somehow, she survived. This is why I’m thanking everyone who saw my post yesterday and sent their good wishes: You gave everyone in my family a chance to see her one last time. My siblings came home from school and work, and she was really my dad’s little baby and he got to be with her too. She always loved being in one of the bathrooms to the point where we just got her a bed for her to lay in there, and she laid in her favorite spot for the rest of the night, and passed away before sunrise.

I can’t express how much I cry about dogs. When it’s my own dog, it hurts more than anything. But it hurts even more when they’re suffering, and you feel helpless because you don’t want to give up, but you can’t do much more to help them. 

We learned about 9 years ago that Gracie had some bad genetics. When she had puppies, it was a few weeks early...and all five were born with their guts on the outside. It is probably an understatement to say that I was beyond traumatized. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. Two of them didn’t make it through the night, and one passed a few days after. I did find a picture of them before we lost the third:

We kept Cocoa, on the far left, and Trixie, on the top of the pile, went to my stepmom’s mom (who also had the father). 

Cocoa is literally my best friend, sleeps with me every night, follows me around the house, gets vocal when she doesn’t get attention, and hoards all the toys.

She has nicknames like “little devil” and “brat-face” and she’s crazy, loud, jealous, and uses her teeth. I know this is canine anxiety, and given how she was born, I don’t blame her. Even when she does something really bad, I can’t even get angry, I just think of how lucky we are that she survived. She’s smart and very sweet (when there’s no competition). She gets sassy with other dogs, even with Gracie. 

Today, I overheard that she came down and sniffed Gracie after she passed, and my dad had buried her in the backyard. I knew Gracie had died when I saw Cocoa this morning, but all day today, she’s been waiting at the door, and going outside to stand on the porch and stare at the back yard...the one time she went to the bathroom she looked around the yard first and sat at the bottom of the stairs for a minute. She was looking for her mom and I think she understands now.

She’s here because of Gracie, and is one of the many things Gracie has given us over the years. I miss her, but that means I haven’t forgotten her. Dogs aren’t here very long compared to us, but they make living bearable and worth so much more. It’s all we can do to give them the best life we can and make sure they know we’re here for them as much as they’re here for us. 

Again, thank you, for all of your support. Even people who like/comment/follow and didn’t know anything about this; you’re part of what keeps me going. You help me stop worrying myself sick over things like this. You help remind me that there are good things in the world. You’re validating the things I do to cope, and that means more to me than I could ever put into words.