#i THINK i haven't missed anyone! if i have don't hesitate to tell me!!

[sisterdivinium]

The Warrior Nun Commentfic Fest! is now officially CLOSED.

Thank you to everyone who participated -- whether that was only once or multiple times throughout the entire event, whether you posted one prompt or five, one fill or ten, one comment or twenty, you've all kept the party going.

We've had, in total, 49 prompts and 40 fills. That's forty little Warrior Nun fics that came out of this, for different pairings and with different characters in the spotlight!

They all remain available for reading at the fest page, of course. There is now an AO3 Collection for the event for those who archive their stories over there. Please do add yours!!

A masterpost is forthcoming, with links to all the fills organised by character/pairing, but, in the meantime, I'd like to give a shoutout to all the Tumblr users who helped in making this a success in one way or another:

@crumbland @danielleitloudernow @emylilas @ghostofcatscradle @kaisollisto @leet911 @littledata @noracharlesandherdogasta and, last but not least, all of our wonderful Anons!

I don't know if we'll do this again some other time, but I hope everyone had fun. I know I did, so thank you for playing! :)

[yujiqi]

match made in heaven

stranger!hyunjin x wealthy f!reader

synopsis: you’re feeling desperate tonight so you decide to look for someone to hook up with on a dating app and it seems you guys could be more than a one night stand

genre/s: smut, fluff

warnings: oral f!receiving, vanilla sex, lil bit of dry humping

wc: 1.7k

a/n: listen to singularity - bts while reading! i wrote this 2 years ago so it’s not that good but i feel bad for not posting so heres a little smth! mostly proofread!

you long for evenings like this. sipping on a glass of wine, taking a hot bath with a rich lavender essence filling the bathroom.

"miss y/n, your food has arrived. shall i leave it here?" you hear your butler from the other side of the door.

"leave it on my coffee table, thank you"

you hear his footsteps fading away. being wealthy is fun. many people say money cant buy happiness but you think that's false. they're just saying that because they don't have money.

you live alone, your butler and the others that do your housework come early in the morning, but by midnight, it's just you. a part of you wishes you had someone to spend your nights with. you’re the ceo of the company your dad owns. some say you were born with a silver spoon. they aren't wrong, but it does bother you how people badmouth you behind your back when you could easily end their career.

you take the last sip of your wine and set the glass down. you carefully step out of the bathtub and wrap a towel around yourself. the aroma of food fills your nostrils. you ordered lobster with a couple other sides. your butler left a new bottle of wine right by it. you usually don't have big meals like this but it’s friday and it’s been a tiring week. you hear your phone ring and you hesitate for a moment. you don't feel like talking to anyone right now. it’s your mom calling. she's always bugging you about how you need to get married.

"hello" you finally answer the phone.

"y/n. what did i tell you about ignoring my calls." she sounds mad.

"you know i'm busy, mom"

"too busy to answer the woman that brought you to this planet?"

"mom," you pause for a second because you really don't wanna do this right now. "i have to go"

"when are you going to get married, y/n" you feel like she can practically hear your eye roll at this point.

"why are you so worried about that when i'm literally the ceo of a company? i'm well off, i don’t need a man" you protest.

"i just think it would be best if you settled with a man, have a kid that will soon takeover the company too"

"i'm going to sleep. goodnight" and with that, you hang up.

you’re 26, she seriously needs to back off a bit. although you do feel you should find a man. you don't want a man to settle down with though, you want a man to satisfy you and pleasure you. lord knows you need it. you can't remember the last time you had sex. maybe 3 years ago? you’ve been so busy, you haven't had time to think about yourself. you look at your phone and can't believe what you’re about to do. you open the app store and type in "hookup apps".

you’re shocked you’d stoop this low, but you’re feeling really desperate tonight. you open the app and it asks for the basics. name, age, city, and a few extra questions. the app is very quick to find matches. none of them interest you until someone catches your eye.

hyunjin, 23, seoul

cool, hes 3 years younger than you but you can make it work. you send a request to him and he immediately sends a message.

hyunjin: into younger guys i see?

me: im gonna be honest... im really desperate rn

hyunjin: oh yeah? dont u wanna know even a little bit about me?

me: not really

hyunjin: i could be an old white man yk

me: the fact that ur saying that alr lets me know ur not

hyunjin: true

me: ill give u my address then

hyunjin: already???

me: i told u im desperate

you send him your address and anxiously wait in the lobby area of your penthouse. you mess with the strap on your velvet robe. you’re not wearing anything underneath so easy access, right? you get a message from hyunjin asking for the gate code. you give it to him and soon you hear the doorbell chime throughout the house. you quickly get up and open the massive door for him.

"woah" his mouth wide open, pure shock on his face

"you like it?"

"i'm not talking about the house, i'm talking about you" he says.

well that's a first. you don't get many guests, but when you do, all they talk about is the house.

"you're bold" is all you manage to let out. he's fine. incredibly fine. the way his long black his falls perfectly onto his shoulders. you notice the mole under eye. how unique. he's also very tall, much taller than you at least. he has long, slim fingers and your mind can't help but imagine what he can do with them.

"do you want a glass of wine?" you ask him

"i thought you were horny"

"i am, i'm just building up to it" you look up at him with those eyes. the ones that make any guy melt. you grab his hand and lead him upstairs to your room. we sit on the couch and you pour him a glass. even while he drinks, he doesn't take his eyes off of you. he looks hungry and you like it.

"this is a nice place you have" he says, setting down the glass.

"yeah, i'm the ceo of my dad's company" you’re not really one to brag so you don't know why you said that, internally face palming. he nods and continues to stare into your eyes. he then looks down to catch a glimpse at what you’re wearing. the hunger in his eyes grows even more. with the way he's looking at you, you don't think you can sit still any longer. you get closer to him. he watches you closely. you look at him and ask,

"what do you want?"

"you" is all he says before placing his lips on yours. he kisses you so slow and sensually, just how you like it. you wrap your arms around his neck and your hand moves to the back of his head. he deepens the kiss, if that was even possible. he adjusts himself on the couch, making you sit on his lap. you can't help but to slightly grind against him due to the lack of friction. he lets out a slight groan into the kiss. so he likes this... good to know.

"hyunjin, please" you breathe between kisses

he only lets out a low moan in response. his hands find your robe strap. he wastes no time unraveling it. you get goosebumps from the cold air. but the second his hands land on your bare chest, you feel hot. he plays with your breasts for a while before breaking the kiss. his lips move to your jaw, then neck, then collarbone. you start to breathe heavy as you wait for him to put his mouth where you want it the most.

he kisses the area right above your left nipple and takes it in his mouth soon after. you almost immediately moan at the sensation you haven't felt in forever. you run your fingers gently through his hair as his face is shoved in your chest.

"hyunjin, the bed" you whisper into his ear. he stops feasting on you and looks into your eyes with that same look from before, but this one more desperate. he hurriedly picks you up and places you on your king bed, white satin sheets. your lips connect again with the slow and sensual pace as hyunjin climbs on top of you. it feels like you’ve been doing this all night but its only been a few minutes. you pull his shirt over his head. he has a slim appearance, but also has visible abs. what a sight. he's so beautiful, you admire him before he starts to kiss down your stomach. he gets closer and closer to your pussy and you want to moan before he even does anything. you like that in this moment, no words are needed. you’re taking things slowly. you desperately want him to touch and feel every part of you. he looks up at you before eating you out like you’re his last meal. with every movement of his tongue, you feel like you’re in heaven knowing you’re far from it. you thrust your hips, shoving yourself further into his mouth. he pulls your legs further apart, trying to taste every inch of you. there's that familiar yet unfamiliar feeling building up in you.

a breathy "hyun m’gonna" is all that can come out of your mouth.

"not yet love" he moves away from your pulsing cunt. you’re about to whine before he shuts you up with another kiss. he sits up to unbutton his pants. he discards his boxers as well. he pumps himself a bit before leaning down to place more kisses onto your lips as if he'll never get to feel them again. he adjusts himself before thrusting into you slowly. gosh it's been so long since you’ve felt something this good. he leans forward onto his elbows, his cock buried deep in you. you feel his breath your my ear. you wrap your arms around him tightly. the way you are right now feels so comfortable. it's like you’ve known him your whole life even though you met 30 minutes ago. he ruts into you deeply and passionately.

"y/n you're doing so good" he breathes out. he holds you tighter, kissing the skin by your ear. his thrusts start to get faster as you both get closer to your orgasm, and your moans get louder. there's that feeling again, except it's much more intense this time. with one final thrust, you both release. it's interesting how you’re so in sync with everything. you don't want this to be your last night with him. you guys catch your breath for a second before he removes his head from your neck to look at you.

"you're amazing" he smiles at you, a sincere one.

"you too" you smile back.

for some reason, it feels like you don't need to say anything else. like you both know what the other is feeling and thinking through everything you just did. it's connections like this that you should cherish. you plan on sticking with him.

"lets stay like this for a while, then get cleaned up, yeah?" he says

you just nod, his hair tickles your chin.

you’ve finally found your match, your match made in heaven.

[astraule]

"I'm Yours Now"

Pairing: Jasper x Reader Song: Dreaming of You - Cigarettes After Sex TW: Cursing and hinting to sex. Y/N: She/ Her vampire reader, was a part of the Mexican coven but was able to flee. Gift: Power to emit an irresistible singing that lures anyone who hears it to the user. Word Count: 2.7 K Summary: The Cullens meet you, a mysterious vampire who needs Jasper's help to get away from Maria. Worried about his family, Jasper agrees to protect you. Shopping together, you finally open up about your fears regarding acceptance. Your day turns when Maria accuses Jasper of theft, resulting in a tense stand-off. You confront Maria and decide to leave with Jasper for safety. In his room, you confess to being jealous of him with Maria, and Jasper calms you by letting you know he is yours now, making it an intense scene between you.

Jasper POV: (Cullen House Living Room)

Bella turned to Edward, an interested expression on her face. "You're saying she actually did come to visit at least once?" she asked, her legs sprawled across his lap. I looked up from my book as I sat on the couch and said, "Maria is really self-centered; she tends to act on impulse without thinking things through.”

"I made it clear to her that she should not come back here, but, quite frankly, I would not be surprised to see her pop up again." I rolled my eyes, reflecting on some of the happenings from the Southern wars.

Bella asked, her interest awakened. "Is there anyone from your old coven that you miss?" I was about to say, "Peter and Charlotte were great friends back then, and we still keep in touch. But there's one vampire I haven't seen since those days-" when Bella cut me off with a wide-eyed look of excitement. "Seriously?! Who is it?

This made me chuckle and shake my head. "I can't say a lot, but her gift was all in her voice. She had this astonishing ability to draw people in when she sang." Bella was looking interested, but I could tell she wanted more and would have asked more if suddenly there wasn't some noise outside that distracted us.

"Who are you?" Rosalie's voice carried as Bella, Edward, and I rushed out to join the rest of our family, stirred by the presence of a silent stranger. Recognition hit me like a bolt as soon as she was about to speak, sending me leaping forward and covering her mouth. "What are you doing here?" I questioned, looking down at Y/N, her wide, red eyes gazing up at me.

(Living Room)

Y/N started speaking, her voice barely above a whisper, "Peter told me you'd be here, said you might be able to help me." Even with our super-sensitive vampiric hearing, the sound came across barely audible. Alice gave me a bewildered look. "Peter? Your friend? " she asked. I faced Y/N again, trying to confirm my suspicions. "You’re sure Maria didn’t send you?" She shook her head and whispered, "No, it was Peter. You can ask him if you like; he said you could help me get away from Maria.”

"Help you? You do realize that if Maria finds out you're here, it puts my entire family in danger," I said, crossing my arms. She hesitated, clearly considering how much to say, before finally responding, "I’ve been in danger since the moment I decided to come looking for you."

"You can't be thinking about this seriously," Rosalie said, her eyes on me. "This decision concerns the whole family." Carlisle seconded, his eyes on Y/N, who stared back at him with an assurance that made him seem uneasy. "I'm just passing through; I don't mean to cause any trouble on your territory," Y/N said.

"Carlisle, I have known this vampire for years, and she has never crossed the line," I said, but Emmett cut in. "No offense, dude, but do you remember the mess you made when you first came to this family?" "I get that, and appreciate it, really. It's exactly why I'll be keeping a very close eye on her until we can dispose of her safely," I said.

"I have no problem with her roaming free as long as we look out for her." Bella seconded my opinion; her bright red eyes shining when she looked at Y/N. "Bella, this vampire is not a newborn as you are. Her eyes are red because of human blood consumption, and whatever mess she causes, it will be because of her decision and not because of lack of self-control," Edward said.

Emmett said, "And on top of that, if she wants to use that gift of hers against us or anyone else, we're fucked." Y/N responded, "That’s why I speak softly, I have never really had the opportunity to use my voice.”

"Let's go hunting while we figure things out; we must be starving, after all." Carlisle finally spoke up, but then Rosalie chimed in, "Someone needs to keep an eye on the threat," looking at Y/N, who didn't look fazed at all. "I can stick around to watch her; just make sure to bring me something to drink," I offered.

(Jasper’s Room)

"Your room is nice. We never had rooms back in the coven. You remember when we used to lie around in packs?" Y/N asked softly, perched in my chair with her legs crossed. I shook my head, replying, "That was pointless; we never felt cold, never needed sleep." I looked at the books on my shelf.

"I'm sorry to burst into your peaceful life like this. Maria's completely lost her mind; she's no longer able to lead. Honestly, she never could. You were always the one making the tough decisions; you were the real leader-" Y/N began, but I cut her off. "Those were bad decisions I made, and since then, I have grown.”

"You have a great life here, just like I did when I was human." She whispered once more, "In a place where I could really live, express myself, scream, talk, and sing. But now, my voice feels like a burden; we've all been afflicted by Maria's curse.”

After a moment of silence, Y/N finally broke the silence, while I went to my shelf, pulled out a book, and sat down in an empty chair next to her. "Peter mentioned that you drink animal blood. I've been trying to get the hang of it to make my stay in your territory smoother as I traveled here. I've had a few mishaps, but don't worry, none of them happened in your area."

"Accidents happen to all of us, and in our own way, each of us has tasted human blood. All of us but Rosalie and Bella, that is. Their self-control is remarkable - the best I've ever seen." I said, not looking up from my book, just keeping my eyes on its pages.

Y/N whispered, "Lucky." The silence that followed lasted long minutes. "I can practically hear your desire to know more, Y/N. Ask your questions," I said, continuing to read my book, never taking my eyes from it. "What's the newborn for? You aren't so tender with them." She finally asked. "Bella? She’s my brother Edward's mate. To be frank, better a newborn than a human, having to constantly battle the instinct of killing her.”

"You met her while she was human and didn't kill her?" Y/N's voice rose. "You really are amazing-" she said, her voice slowly becoming quieter now. This made me look up from my book and back to her. "There were so many times I wanted to, yet I could never do that to my brother," I said.

"Oh yeah, your family. I'm aware you have a special ability; do any of your relatives share a gift?" Y/N asked as she playfully threw her legs over the arm of the chair. "Alice has the ability to see the future, Edward can read minds, and Bella’s a shield." I was surprised at how much was pouring out.

I decided it was time to pause the interrogation. At the sound of the creaking front door, announcing my family's return, I shut my book. "Jasper, we've come to an agreement," Carlisle's voice sounded throughout the house.

(Dining Table)

"Why do you need a dining table? We don't eat," Y/N asked over her shoulder. "We have to fit in," Edward said for the group. "Very well, let's begin," Carlisle said. "Y/N will stay with us for the time being. If she can prove not to be an issue, we can revisit the topic of an extended stay. But if she does prove to be a problem, we will need to dispose of her before the Volturi comes and kills all of us.”

Y/N didn't look fazed, just nodded in response. "For now, she'll be under your care, Jasper. Make sure to share all your knowledge with her," Carlisle instructed. I let out a sigh in my head. "Fantastic," I thought, knowing Y/N's presence brought an uncomfortable feeling in me.

Alice beamed. "I bet you don't have too much with you! We should hit the shops once you have your thirst under control, the four of us." She hooked a companionable arm through Rosalie-who looked less than enthusiastic about being in Y/N's company-and Bella-who didn't look all that enthused by the prospect of shopping. "Shopping?" Y/N murmured, head cocked in interest.

(3 Months Later, Jasper’s Room)

Y/N tugged at my arm in urgency, her voice no higher than a whisper. "Come on, I couldn't wait to show you my new clothes!" she exclaimed, almost losing balance with the mountain of bags she juggled in the other hand. If human, I was sure that by now her blood flow would be restricted.

"Alright, let me see," I said, lowering myself into my chair. Just as I was about to relax, Y/N started stripping right in front of me, and I jumped up from my seat, tossing a blanket over her. "The bathroom is just over there," I said, my hand gesturing in that direction. Luckily, I was a vampire; otherwise, my cheeks would have been bright red.

Y/N was slowly finding her place in our lives, her eyes turning to the warm honey gold color that we all shared. But she had a lot to learn yet; Maria's strict rules had her feeling quite unhuman, even for a vampire.

A few minutes later, Y/N emerged from the bathroom, in a red top and jean skirt. "What do you think of this one? Rosalie helped me pick it out," she asked, eyes sparkling with excitement. I nodded in appreciation, responding, "It's absolutely gorgeous." Just then, she darted back into the bathroom, probably to show me yet another outfit.

Within less than five minutes, she came out of the bathroom again, this time in a black top and checkered skirt, then twirled around to ask, "How about this one? Alice chose it." I couldn't help but laugh as I said, "You really do look like Alice in that outfit." That made me wonder who taught her that spinning thing when showing off your clothes.

"You're going to love this next one," she said, disappearing into the bathroom. A minute later, she reemerged in a dark red shirt and jeans. "Let me guess, Bella picked that out for you?" I asked, and she nodded. "You definitely look like her, but what do you like?" I asked, and she thought about it for a second. Finally, she said, "Will you take me shopping tomorrow?

(Next Day, Living Room)

“I'll be out shopping with Y/N today, so just give me a call if anything comes up," I said to my family, who were all sitting around the TV. Just as I finished saying that, Rosalie stood up from the couch, beating Emmett to it. "Jasper, we need to talk."

Emmett huffed in annoyance, "Rose, come on. We've already talked about this." I interrupted, crossing my arms, "No, let her speak. I want to know what she's going to say." When Rosalie began to pipe up, she said, "This family is complete. Y/N petitioned to come through, not to join."

“I've enjoyed having her here," Bella said. Alice nodded in agreement. Edward spoke up, "For once, I think I might be willing to agree with Rosalie. The last time you all went out of the house, I was the only one who stayed behind with her. I found her to be softly singing in the dark of your room, Jasper."

"She loves to sing, but she has to find ways to do it without activating her abilities." I looked at Edward for a moment before turning my gaze to the soft sounds coming from the stairs, where Y/N stood, wearing the same serene expression she had on her first day here. "I let Y/N stay as long as she abides by the rules; our family is made up of various vampires, Rose," Carlisle clarified.

"Hey, let's continue this conversation when I get back," I said, holding the front door open for Y/N to step outside.

Y/N POV: (Port Angeles)

“Do they not like me?” I asked, looking over at Jasper as we walked together. “What a silly question, of course they-” Jasper started to say, but I cut him off. “It just feels like they don’t like me,” I said.

A brief moment of silence hung in the air before I finally spoke. "I really like them. Emmett has such a great sense of humor; he always knows how to make me laugh. Edward is incredibly smart, and I find myself learning new things from him all the time. Carlisle is a gentle and kind vampire, just like Esme, and they both remind me of my parents. Alice is so sweet; I feel at ease sharing anything with her. Bella has a calming presence, and the quiet moments we share are never awkward. Rosalie is stunningly beautiful, and even though she doesn’t seem to like me much, I still think very highly of her."

"They really do like you. It's just that you're new, and new things can feel a bit overwhelming because we don't know what to expect. They just need some time to adjust to you, just like I have," Jasper said, looking into my eyes. "I like you, Jaz," I said with a smile. "I like you too, Y/N. So, how about we go find you some new clothes?" he proposed, and I nodded in agreement.

(Clothing Store)

"Hey Y/N, we've been browsing for an hour now. Is there really nothing here that catches your eye? We could always check out another shop," Jasper suggested, trailing behind me as I wandered through the aisles. "It's just that there are so many options-" I started to explain, but my words were cut short when I collided with someone unexpectedly. "So this is where you've been hiding," a voice I recognized said. Looking up, I was met with the sight of Maria, the vampire I had hoped to avoid.

Maria shot a fierce look at Jasper, her voice dripping with disbelief. “I might have overlooked your leaving, but stealing my most prized possession? That’s just too much.” Jasper retorted, “We don’t owe you anything.” His response only ignited Maria’s fury. “What are you planning to do next, cowboy? You’ve already caused enough trouble.”

"I brought you into this world, and I can just as easily take you out of it," Maria said, her grip on my arm tightening. "I never asked for you to be created! We're leaving now," I shot back, my voice rising above the whispers of the crowd around us.

(Jasper’s Room)

Jasper shook his head as he closed the door, casting a glance at me on his bed. “She’s out of her mind for coming back here.” I sighed, feeling the heaviness of the situation. “Once she finds me, it’s all over.” He looked at me with resolve. “I won’t let that happen,” he promised, sitting down next to me.

“Jasper, we used to share a deep friendship, which is why I decided to contact you. I’m not sure if it’s connected to your special talent, but I’ve always felt a sense of security in your presence. I genuinely want to preserve the connection we have.”

“I’ll protect you, Y/N,” Jasper whispered, softly resting my head on his shoulder. “You don’t have to face this alone anymore.”

“Together forever?” I asked, giving him a playful smile. “Absolutely, we’ve tackled so many challenges together,” he replied, laughing as I thought back to the lighter moments from the Southern Wars. “Remember that time Peter almost drained the human we brought for Maria?” I said, making Jasper chuckle. “Thank goodness we stepped in; otherwise, he would have been done for.”

Jasper started, “We had such a great time when Maria wasn’t there.” Before he could continue, I rushed in and hugged him tightly. “I’ve always felt a twinge of jealousy towards her for having you,” I confessed. “If you want me to be yours now, I can be,” he responded.

"Mine, all mine." I said before pushing my lips against his having him gently pull my shirt off.

Emmett POV: (Living Room)

"What in the world is that noise?" Rose asked, plopping down beside me on the couch and giving us both a moment to listen in. "You must be kidding me! First it was Edward and Bella; now it's Jasper and Y/N?”

I struggle so much to write steamy scenes, but I really want to get better for all of you. If anyone has any tips or advice on how to do better, I would so appreciate it!

[drdemonprince]

hey! i have a question abt your cruising guide if you don't mind, regarding something that (unless i totally missed sth, in which case i'm very sorry for wasting your time) i felt was completely absent but happens to be my main concern. (i'm already a huge slut, so anonymous/short term sexual encounters in themselves aren't the issue for me.) i'll put it bluntly: how am i supposed to pick anyone up in a gay male cruising space (irl/not on an app) when i look like a woman? i'm not a total stranger to gay bars, which is why i'm very sure that people in a cruising space are far, far more likely to take me as an intruder looking to be pleasantly scandalized than someone like them who they might want to have sex with, not to mention have sex with as a man(-adjacent). i also know it's likely that i'm projecting at least some of my dysphoria onto these hypothetical encounters, but it doesn't seem like an unjustified fear, either. i (fwiw: perisex, afab, some type of agender-nonbinary) have been on t for abt 9 months now, but i haven't had top or bottom surgery (i want both but so far it's unclear when that is going to happen) and my breasts are too large to be really concealed by a binder (not to mention that i can't fuck in a binder bc they give me awful headaches), i'm very short and ~curvy~, i have very little body/no facial hair, and people in casual daily interactions certainly don't hesitate to address me as a woman. it just seems preposterous to assume that there's anything abt me a man looking for another man could be attracted to. i guess it's possible someone could be a chaser after my specific type, but that's not an encounter i want to have right now. as far as my question to you is concerned, i want to have sex with a man who is into men, and at the very least won't see me as a girl wanting to be fucked like a man. i know that there is no way to objectively predict these things, experiences and tastes vary and so on, but i would be extremely grateful if you could share some of your experiences or give me some other pointers for how to approach this/what to expect. as it is, if i were to enter a darkroom, i assume i would be asked to leave, but preemptively telling myself that it's hopeless and to forget abt it for at least the next several years seems unnecessarily cruel, too. if there's any advice or experience you can share, thank you so so so much, and if not, thank you anyway for taking the time to read this letter of woe and for putting your perspective out there, it's been a balm to be understood. wishing you all the best x

Buddy -- it is (largely!) your dysphoria talking! Lots of queer men will wanna fuck you and they will wanna do it in a queer way. I walked around Steamworks fully tiddy out regularly and I had a great time.

It's true that in more general gay bars people will sometimes misread you, and that it will hurt, but trust me that lots of queer men are already attracted to you. If anything, I've noticed that in general queer spaces cis gay men sometimes default to assuming that you won't be interested in them and give a polite distance that they will happily do away with if they know you're looking and welcome their attention. A lot of guys don't want to accidentally be predatory to someone who they think might be a lesbian or not interested in men. (Again, being mistaken for something you are not really fucking sucks and can drive your dysphoria crazy, I get it, but do keep in mind that sometimes people do this out of a desire to be respectful, not because they're turned off that you're such a Womanly Woman or whatever.)

My first recommendation for you would be to GET ON GRINDR. Post some pics that make it clear what you're working with, physically, and list your identity clearly on your profile. When I first got a grindr I had a really slutty abs-and-underboob pic that got me a TON of attention from queer men, who treated me like a man, and it immediately assuaged all my concerns that I wasn't welcome on there. I think it will do a lot for your self-confidence and sense of belonging to try the same too.

Now, I don't want to be pollyannaish about any of this -- yes there are transphobes. In my experience they're mostly pretty quiet to trans men, they'll just pass you by for the most part. Yes there are people who will say awkward things. Block liberally and often and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. But honestly, these are the kinds of issues you will run into within any dating platform, and the gay world is pretty damn blase and chill about the inclusion of trans men for the most part. You can absolutely put yourself out there -- and the sooner you do, the sooner you'll realize that your insecurities are not rooted in the reality of how other queer men mostly feel.

I wish I had put myself out there YEARS earlier! A lot would have changed for me if I had.

[hockybish]

Is It Mine?

West Winds au I dad!Trevor x Reader I masterlist

Early March 2020

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Trevor practically barged into her dorm room once she opened the door.

No, hi, how are you?" She rolled her eyes, returning to the spot on the couch she had been occupying only moments earlier.

"Nope." He popped the p in the word, plopping down beside one of his best friends. "Now answer me. Why are you avoiding me?"

"I haven't. Don't be silly, Z." Looking at her hands, she contemplates how to go about her next moves.

Does she tell him the truth, or do you hold off a little longer? How does she tell her person that the drunken night they had together a couple of months ago was going to change their lives forever?

"That's bullshit, Bean." The hockey player exclaimed, not believing what he was hearing for one second.

Bean was one of his best friends. Trevor knew her so well he could see she was obviously lying to him and that something more was going on. His stubbornness was getting the best of him, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. He missed her.

"You've been canceling plans; you don't sit by me in class anymore; you've left me on read more times than I can count; and I had to learn from Em-j that you left the country last weekend. What is going on, Bean?"

"I've just been really tired from school and work. It's just a lot. You know how busy it can get."

"You can tell me anything. I won't judge. You know that. Please." He pleaded with her. He wasn't going to let it go until Y/N told him.

"I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant. I found out a few weeks ago, and last week I went to Vancouver, and I think I'm gonna keep it." She broke down in his arms. "And I'm scared, Trevor. I'm scared."

"Hey. It's going to be okay, Bean." Trevor reassured her the best he could. Which was as comforting as he thought he was being, considering there was still part of the situation he didn't know about.

"Who's the father? Because if he isn't going to be there for you, I'll kill him. I swear, Bean, I will." After what felt like an eternity, Trevor asked the most important question.

"It's not worth it, Z. It was only one time, and the father doesn't really know it's him. Plus, I don't really expect anything from him. He's got things going for him, and I don't want to get in the way of that." Y/N wiped the few tears that still fell from her eyes.

Trevor listened to Y/N's words carefully. He did some quick math, remembering that night in early January. He was almost 100 percent sure they were careful and took proper precautions to prevent this outcome from happening. But then again.

"Is it mine?" His heartbeat quickened when he came to the realization that y/n never mentioned sleeping with anyone else. Not that she would, because that's not stuff they talk about on a regular basis.

Um, I think I should leave." He hurried out the door. Her hesitance was enough of an answer for him, and there were a few things he needed to think about.

Please feel free to send in thoughts, comments, questions, and ideas!

[heartybubs]

change

the 100 [ bellamy blake x reader ]

type : angsty, maybe a bit fluffy?

tropes: forced proximity, best friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of anxiety, heavy language, lowkey manipulative bellamy

in which bellamy blake and reader used to date but when he spiraled after octavia was arrested and his life fell apart, he distanced himself from her. after he begs her to trust him blindly and she does, they have to figure out their relationship on earth as neither of them is able to let it go.

a/n: hii, this is my first piece of writing in a loooong long time but i’m really enjoying the 100 again and i’ve noticed a severe lack of bellamy content on here, so i hope you like it! i don’t think i used any pronouns but i did use the term “girl” multiple times to describe reader! w.c.: 4.831

after octavia was discovered, he lost his job and his mum was floated, bellamy fell into a terrifying rabbit hole of depression. he lost himself with everything else in his life and instead of holding on to you, he wanted you to do better than him; so he ignored you. of course it made everything worse than it already was but it helped to tell himself he was actually saving you, despite seeing you fall apart piece by piece for months. he knew you'd get it together at some point, you had a great life going for you and he didn't want to risk you losing it at anytime soon, especially not because of him.

so when commander shumway approached bellamy and asked him to assassinate chancellor jaha in return of being able to go to earth with his sister and he said yes with barely any hesitation, he couldn't help but think about you, the girl he was so deeply in love with.

so now, bellamy was close to sprinting across the hall, giving his all to reach your door as fast as he could. he was going to earth, he had already shot the chancellor, but he couldn't leave you behind, no matter how hard he tried, not even after all those months of breaking your heart.

but just because he broke your heart that didn't mean he didn't love you the entire time.

you had taken the day off of guard duty, not feeling well as your three year anniversary with bellamy was approaching or, well, it would've if he hadn't abandoned you a few months ago.

although you tried your hardest to get it together, especially because you didn't want to risk your job as a guard on the ark, you couldn't just forget about bellamy. you had never loved anyone like him and no one had ever hurt you like he had.

there was aggressive knocking on the door, startling you immediately. you sighed frustratedly, there was no one who'd have time, or even want to, visit you in the middle of the day. especially not that desperately, since whoever was disturbing your peace got more and more aggressive with each knock.

you opened the door and before you could say anything, you were pushed into your room by a strong, all too familiar man. not being able to comprehend, you simply stared at the tan man in front of you, admiring his freckled face you had missed so much.

"bellamy? wha-", he cut you off, shaking his head frantically.

"look, y/n, this has gotta be really weird for you right now, but we have to leave. like, now. you have to come with me, okay?", although he was clearly stressed, there was a softness to be noticed in his voice that you knew all too well. you also recognized that he wasn't exactly asking you to come with him, he was telling you to.

"bellamy, what do you mean? you can't just come here and, and.. bellamy i don't understand! why are you wearing a guard’s uniform?", you rambled, looking at him more than desperate for answers. you knew that you would follow him anywhere but you didn't want to. you shouldn't after what he did to you.

he sighed, looking around nervously before taking a deep breath in and putting his hands on your cheeks. he held your face in his hands, pulling you a bit closer to him as he looked into your eyes.

"y/n, i beg you, you have to trust me, okay? i know i haven't been the best.. the best to you but if there's one thing you can do for me, even if it's the last time you ever help me out again, i need it to be today, right now", he noticed your big eyes, only now realizing that this might not work out and it scared him, terrified him even. "y/n..y/n, baby please. i'm begging you, begging. we don't have time, we need to go, please trust me, please y/n!"

"okay, bell."

you could tell how much this relieved him immediately and right as a little smile started showing, he pulled you out of your room, swiftly grabbing your necklace you always kept next to your keys and dragged you through the ark. it felt like you were running through the entire space station and when you finally slowed down, bellamy didn't give you a single second to ask questions.

he just motioned to you to be silent as he carefully pushed you towards something you recognized to be a dropship. your eyes widened in panic, what the hell was going on here.

"bellamy, serious-", he simply covered your mouth and shoved you into the dropship before closing the door. as panic overtook you and your breathing got heavier, your perception lessened. without bellamy pushing you around and doing whatever you needed to do for you, you wouldn't have gotten anything done.

you were clearly having a panic attack and while it hurt bellamy to not be able to help you get through right now, he had to prioritize your safety during the travel to earth and before you knew it, you passed out.

{ ~* }

you felt soft taps on your shoulder as you slowly regained consciousness. slowly raising your head before finally opening your eyes and looking around. you were still in the dropship but you were all by yourself, no sight of bellamy. of course.

the person who'd been trying to wake you was a boy you recognized as wells jaha, the chancellor's son. he looked at you, relief basically written all over him as you finally reacted to his attempts of waking you up. "i'm so glad you're awake, i almost thought you wouldn't wake up again. wait, let me help you out."

he started to unbuckle you, holding you up as you were still a bit weak from your intense panic attack. he could tell how confused you were immediately.

"i'm wells, you're a guard, right? why'd they send you to earth with us?", wells questioned as your eyes widened.

"earth?!", you repeated immediately, not believing what you heard and completely ignoring his question. you couldn't be on earth, it wasn't even going to be habitable for the next three generations so how could you be on earth now, alive?!

wells didn't really know how to react, he had expected you to know but you were just as, probably even more clueless than the delinquents. he decided not to engage in any more conversation, respecting your space as he figured you'd want some time to cope, as well as recovering from whatever made you pass out.

you were thankful for being left alone, slowly standing up and once you felt stable enough to walk to the hatch, you followed the ladder down. immediately you were met with the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

tall trees, their roots covered in beautiful, bright green plants and, of course, many people all around the area.

you didn't care about them though, the only person you wanted to find was bellamy, he had to explain himself. what was he thinking, taking you to earth without even telling you?!

luckily, it didn't take you long to find him. he was talking to a girl much shorter than him; she had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and although you hadn't seen her that well the last time, the day she was arrested, you were certain it was bellamy's little sister octavia.

you walked over to them, careful not to overestimate your strength yet and once bellamy noticed you, he got tense immediately.

"y/n, how are you?", he spoke up, seemingly interrupting octavia who simply looked at you curiously. while she had never really met you, she knew so much about you. everytime bellamy told her a story to fall asleep to, it was always about princess y/n and once she got older, he finally revealed that you were actually his girlfriend. she loved what she'd heard so far but she decided to lay low, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.

"i'm good. bellamy, what the fuck is going on, are we really on earth? you have to-", he sighed loudly before cutting you off. "i'm glad you're feeling good. you shouldn't stress yourself too much, you're probably still a bit weak, okay? enjoy earth."

the usual softness in his voice was all gone, leaving nothing, but unfamiliar coldness as he walked off. what the fuck was his problem.

"i should've known that he'd leave me again, why did i fucking come", you mumbled angrily. you really had every right to be angry at bellamy, but if you were being honest, you were probably way more disappointed than angered by the man who once loved you as much as you love him.

octavia looked at you confusedly, not being able to follow at all. "what do you mean again, you're y/n, his girlfriend y/n right?"

"i don't even know what i am to him anymore", you answered, feeling tears shoot up to your eyes. no, you couldn't cry about him anymore, you had wasted too many tears on his egoistic ass.

octavia's eyes softened, similarly to how bellamy's used to. she walked up to you and hugged you carefully, not wanting to disrespect your personal space beyond your liking. you hugged her back, appreciating her sympathy a lot and although you kinda didn't want to spend time with bellamy's younger sister, you didn't want to punish her for something out of her power. she had dealt with that too much already.

"my brother can be a real ass sometimes but he'll get over it, i think i know how much he loves you", she spoke softly, smiling at you. you smiled back at her but realized that she really had no clue how over the two of you were.

{ ~* }

days on days passed and not a single interaction between bellamy and you happened. you wanted to talk to him so desperately but whenever you approached him, he'd find a way to get away from you as soon as possible. it felt like you were back on the ark, trying to understand why your boyfriend of two years was suddenly ignoring and avoiding you.

you wanted to fight for his attention, you really tried to but when he set up a knife fight between john murphy and wells, you figured that you had to say goodbye to the idea of ever getting anything positive out of a conversation with him. the bellamy you once loved was probably gone for good and whatever egoistic, violent leader he had become now, was no one you wanted around you.

this time, you really had to get over him.

it honestly made you sick to watch him act like the born leader of the delinquents and it was almost worse to see them follow him blindly. he was leading them to do horrible things, he was clearly motivating their aggression and allowed them all to be terrible to each other.

of course you were angry, but it also confused you a lot. bellamy really terrified you, he was going down a path you couldn't follow and he wasn't anything like he used to be back in the ark, back when he was still your bellamy.

he used to be sweet, loving and caring but now it was so obvious that he was using the 100 delinquents to reach his own goal, you just couldn't figure out what goal that could be. another thing you were pretty confused about, was the fact he took you with him. when he begged you to come with him, he was so different. it almost felt like he loved you again, you were embarrassed to admit that you thought things would get better now, that everything would be like it was back then and you knew that you deserved better, no one, not even john murphy deserved to be treated like bellamy had treated you that past year. still, you just couldn't let him go, so you decided it was time for some distraction.

while you really enjoyed spending time with clarke, learning a bit from her medical knowledge, as well as simply making a new friend, you needed more. literally, you had no one besides bellamy, octavia and clarke and you didn't actually have any of them. you needed to make friends.

deciding to go against bellamy's orders to stay with clarke, something he hadn't told you personally, instead sending one of his little minions your way, you left the drop ship in search for something else to do. you weren't gonna let him tell you what to do, not if he didn't even have the balls to talk to you himself.

right as you left the dropship, you immediately spotted a tall boy with funny googles on his head walking towards one of the gates and decided to approach him. you remembered his name, joshua, or jasper.

"hey jasper", you smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. "hey y/n, i'm just heading out for the hunt."

you raised your eyebrow. hunt? that was perfect for you. not only did you ace pike's earth skills class, but you were also a trained guard. of all the people in your camp, it was safe to assume that you'd be the best at it.

"can i come too? i think i'd be a lot of help", you spoke nicely and without even thinking about it, jasper nodded. his smile grew as he was more than willing to spend some more time with you.

"i'm sure bellamy won't mind", he said and although you really didn't want to be around bellamy for once, it upset you even more that he couldn't even ask you to go with them. he knew just as well as you did that they needed you and that you were the best shot they had, probably even better than him since you actually finished your guard training.

you followed jasper out of the walls, stopping right outside as you joined the rest of the hunting trip. there were about seven unknown faces and of course bellamy’s. as soon as he saw you, he tensed up, leaving you to sigh annoyingly and roll your eyes.

"y/n get back inside the walls, it's not safe outside", he said, voice stern, motioning for you to turn around and go. you immediately shook your head.

"i'm gonna come with you guys, i'm literally your best shot and you won't even notice me, i'll be with jasper the entire time", you complained. he knew you wouldn't change your mind but he wouldn't risk your safety. bellamy trusted jasper but not with you, he trusted no one when it came to you. no one, not even yourself, would protect you as well as he would and although he had been avoiding you for days now, expecting to keep going until he knew you'd gotten over him completely, he had to be the one going with you.

"yea no, you're either coming with me or not at all, y/n. this is your first time outside the walls and i wanna make sure you find your way back home, alright?! however, if you don't want to go with me that's fine. stay back and help clarke then. got it?!", he was convinced he'd make you change your mind.

"fuck you, bellamy. really, let's just go already", you were angry. he was treating you like a complete stranger and you actually felt a bit embarrassed in front of the other people. what was he thinking talking to you like that in front of so many of the others, it was unnecessary.

he was caught by surprise by your response, less because of your words, but way more because you actually chose to come with them. he was so sure you would never want to be alone with him after all he had done but this just proved that it wasn't enough yet.

he should've known better than to expect you to just stop loving him that easily. hell, how could you get over him, if he couldn't even go a single hour without thinking about you.

"okay then", bellamy said before everyone split up and went into different directions. you followed him, making sure you stayed behind.

"you know damn well that i'd be a great help. should've gotten your shit together and asked me", you mumbled and although he heard what you said, he decided not to respond.

you two were walking for a pretty long time, killing some birds on your way. obviously that wouldn't be enough for the entire camp to eat so you kept going. there wasn't much talking done either, you were able to work together without speaking, you had always been able to.

of course it was awkward, but it went fine until a loud sound rang through the woods. bellamy turned to you immediately, eyes wide as he grabbed your wrist and started running. despite having never left the camp, you knew that this was an alarm to warn about the yellow fog that was incredibly toxic and even deadly.

the two of you ran as fast as you could until bellamy noticed something in the ground that looked like a door to a bunker. he immediately pushed you in front of him and told you to go in, following closely as he rushed to close the door before the fog could get you. bellamy turned on his flashlight while your breath was shaky as you put a hand up to your heart. your athleticism wasn't an issue, your anxiety however was.

"y/n, are you okay?", bellamy asked softly as approached you, reaching for your shoulder but before he could touch you, you backed away.

"bellamy stop, stop doing this", he looked at you with a questioning expression on his face. "you know what i mean."

he simply shook his head, lowering it before quietly saying "i'm sorry, y/n, but i really don't. i just wanna make sure you're okay."

you huffed, did he even believe his own words? you were annoyed by his obliviousness and slid down the wall, he did the same oppositely from you.

neither of you said anything for some time but with every minute that passed, you feared that he would leave the bunker at the first chance he'd get, ruining your only opportunity to have the conversation you've been wanting to have for almost a year now.

"look, bellamy.. i just don't understand how you could do what you did. you're confusing me", you explained quietly, not wanting to look at him yet.

"i know, i don't understand either", he spoke back and as your eyes met, you could tell he wasn't lying. "i was angry, angry at everyone, even you. and i know that it wasn't fair, i wasn't treating you how i should have but when i lost everything, i was ashamed. you deserved better than that and i knew you wouldn't just let me go."

"literally what were you thinking?!  i was with you through any hardships you ever had to go through. what made you assume id just leave you, what made you think that after two years with you, i'd just abandon you. what for?! having a sister? i'm not the fucking council, you should know me better than that", you were angry but you didn't want to yell at him, you wanted this to work.

he sighed, he didn't know what to tell you. of course you were right, he fully agreed but what good would him agreeing do?

"talk to me, bellamy", you basically begged.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i have never regretted anything as much as breaking your heart. you were on my mind every single day", he said truthfully, not being able to look into your eyes as he spoke until he lifted his head. "if i could turn back time, i would. i am so sorry for ruining what we had."

you stared into his eyes, giving yourself time to think about what he just told you. you'd do anything to go back to how things were, you missed bellamy so much.

"me too", you then admitted. "you know, it would've been our three year anniversary a few days ago", you said and laughed slightly. bellamy smiled at you, oh how he had missed your laugh.

"i know", he said and reached into his pocket. "i didn't get you anything new and i know that i can't just regift something i already gave you years ago but i grabbed this when i asked you to come with me and i just.. didn't have time to give it to you yet."

you listened curiously, watching him pull out a silver necklace he once gave you. your mouth and eyes widened in excitement, it was your favourite piece of jewelry ever since you'd gotten it, but when you realized you didn't have it on you, you were sure you'd never see it again and it made you incredibly sad.

"oh my god, you took it with you? thank you so much, bellamy! i was missing it already", you admitted, excitement lacing your voice. he smiled again and handed you your necklace you put on immediately.

you smiled down at yourself, carefully grabbing the star charm.

"i missed seeing you like this, you are so beautiful, y/n", bellamy spoke quietly, you simply halted in your movement. your eyebrows were raised slightly as you looked at him, what was he doing?

"y/n, i know that i don't deserve your forgiveness, fuck, i don't even deserve you! but please, i'm begging you to forgive me for what i did. i don't expect it to be easy, but-"

"why did you ask me to come with you, bell?", you interrupted him. it took him a second before he chuckled and looked to the side, then focusing on you again.

"i spent so many months ignoring you, thinking i was making things so much better when i actually ruined us. i already told you that i thought about you every single day and i knew i wouldn't survive to go down here without you", he explained. "i know that it was incredibly selfish of me to bring you here and at first i didn't want to because i didn't want to expose you to all these dangers earth might bring. i wanted you to do better than me, that's why i distanced myself from you, but i was a fool to think this would work. the hold you have on me and my life is actually insane, y/n. when i had the opportunity to protect my sister and to take you down with me, i just-"

"wait, bellamy, why are you even here in the first place", you questioned. there was no way you wouldn't know about his mission but a janitor did.

his expression changed immediately, his jaw tensed and you could tell how scared he was to tell you, but he also didn't want to lie to you. not right now, not apart of this conversation.

"y/n, i messed up, okay.. i did things i regret and leaving you wasn't my only mistake, but i couldn't let my sister go to earth unprotected, alright? i had to make sure she was safe", he rambled immediately, panic lacing his voice. you on the other hand, only got more suspicious of him. "i shot chancellor jaha on shumway's request."

your eyes widened in shook, you couldn't believe what you just heard. "what, i-"

you wanted to be upset at him so bad but something in you couldn't. "is he.."

"i don't know, that was the goal", he answered quietly, not daring to look up.

"oh my god, bellamy! are you kidding me, you can't just shoot the chancellor, you can't shoot anybody actually!"

"y/n, i know, please. i know that i messed up but i can't change it anymore", he sighed before running his hand through his hair. by now, it was finally curly and loose again and you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. but that wasn't the point, not at all.

"do you though? you changed, bellamy. you have become someone i don't recognize, whats gotten into you?!", you got up from the ground, looking around helplessly. "first you shoot the chancellor and then you lead these kids in the aggressive way you do. do you even notice what you're creating?", at this point you were yelling, you didn't care anymore.

"y/n don't yell at me", he said but you just shook your head. he got up and approached you but you backed away like earlier.

"for fucks sake, stop telling me what to do! you're not my leader, if anything, you're my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend. hell, i don't even know what we are because you didn't have the fucking balls to actually break up with me before being an asshole. i have every right to yell at you", you hissed and you could see how much your words hurt him but bellamy wasn't gonna stay quiet this time.

"i never broke up with you because i didn't fucking want to. i didn't treat you like it but fuck, y/n i love you", he was raising his voice as well now.

"loved, you loved me, you don't anymore", you said and it seemed like this time, you went too far.

"shut the fuck up, y/n. don't say shit like that, don't disrespect me like that", he yelled at you, knowing full well that your disrespect wasn't even comparable to what he put you through. "don't accuse me of not loving you because i could never stop loving you. there wasn't a single day in the past five years where i didn't love you and you know that this is true, we both do!"

you bit your lip as you tried to calm yourself. the adrenaline was overwhelming at this point but still you somehow knew that he was right. you believed him.

"and you don't have to forgive me for what i did and for the way i'm leading these kids but you know damn well that i'd do anything for you and that i love you", his voice was softening again as he was calming down too. "and i know that you're not over me. you wouldn't have come with me, if you didn't love me at least a little bit."

you took a deep breath in, he was right. of course he was, but you couldn't just forgive and forget.

"y/n, baby, i'm not asking you to forget what i did, please don't. i just wanna know that i am right and that i still know you and most importantly; that i didn't ruin your life even more when i brought you down here", his voice got quieter and you could even hear it breaking towards the end of his sentence.

"yes, bellamy i still love you", you simply admitted, sad eyes meeting his right before he pulled you into his arms.

you didn't resist because you needed this, it was what you'd been seeking for all these months.

bellamy was relieved that you still loved him. he didn't expect everything to magically be amazing again but he knew that he hadn't lost you yet. he still had a chance for redemption and he was going to fix things. he was going to be a better man for you.

his strong arms were wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest as he also enjoyed feeling your touch again.

"i love you so much, y/n. i'll fix everything, okay? i will never hurt you ever again and we can work through this, if you want to. i missed you so much, baby", he said. his hand was now holding your cheek as he looked into your glossy eyes.

you nodded, believing him again.

you were hoping that he was saying the truth, that he would never mess it up again. you just wanted to love him again, but you weren't stupid, things, he would have to change first.

[amarayys]

DRDT CHP 2 EPISODE 15 REACTIONS - SO OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS

disclaimer - this post is quite long. like 12 doc pages long. so yeah

in this post, i predicted that the culprit would be ace. and, well....yeah! IT WAS!!! AND I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT THAT!!!! AND IM REALLY HOPING THAT THE FACT THAT AREI'S MISSING GLOVE AND THE MISSING SCRUM DEBATE DONT MEAN ANYTHING!!!

....i got it right.

I ACTUALLY GOT IT RIGHT??? NO FUCKING WAY???

Anyway, I'm gonna make a short post (post editing amari here - this post is in no way short. why did i think it would be???) of my reactions to the episode. And trust me, there were reactions.

Ace: You're going to call me the murderer just because Eden said so?! That's so inane I don't even know where to start!

...I feel ashamed to admit I had to google what "inane" means. Basically, it means "Lacking sense or meaning," which, true, actually! I can't deny suspecting Ace JUST because of Eden's crying is a little weird. Not to say that Eden is malicious or something, though.

J: I'm not saying Eden did it, but are you sure the killer is Ace?

This line isn't insanely relevant or something, I just wanted to point out that I was pretty confused here. Why is J defending Ace??? Uh???

Eden: It was him! (Ace) He was the one stalking me!

Aha, I thought so! I've seen a few people theorise that the person "stalking" Eden was the culprit, and I agree. It just makes the most sense - so I'm glad we were right!

Teruko: Could it be that Ace switched targets from Eden to Arei? (paraphrased)

Oh, I didn't even consider that! We see later in the trial this isn't true, but I'm surprised that nobody (to my knowledge) brought this theory up. Though I don't really see why he would switch targets.

Ace: S-so?! Nico could have taken it or lied about the fish disappearing. (paraphrased)

100% True! But Ace seems to be using this argument solely to accuse Nico...which he sure does a lot. While screaming. A lot.

*discussion about ace making a murder plan after nearly being murdered*

Teruko makes a good point here - He could have made the plan the day following his near-murder.

Teruko: Most people wouldn't like going back to the scene of their almost-murder. (paraphrased)

...Teruko, you're projecting. Hard. Like, really hard.

Ace: ...

Ace: Y-yeah! Exactly! There's no reason for me to take the tape unless I made a plan to kill her in a few seconds. (paraphrased)

Hesitation spotted! And a stutter! I freaked out over this on call for no reason, but that is VERY suspicious, dude.

Arturo: Who uses non-medical tape for first aid? That's sickening.

Teruko: It's not that weird, I do it all the time.

...AUWVGGHHHHH. Teruko you make me ILL. This is probably referencing how she didn't have money for medical supplies in the regular world so she had to use regular tape for wounds, since her luck hurts her often, which cannot be good/safe for injuries. I nearly cried here, because I'm very dramatic when it comes to Teruko. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Ace: What is this, some sort of Devil's Pubes?

...What the fuck?? What??? I am not kidding when I tell you I was drinking water during this line and fucking choked. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? HELLO?? CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT HE MEANT??

Ace: Everyone is always attacking me for stupid reasons. (paraphrased)

He's not wrong, actually. Everyone is always attacking him - Though not always for stupid reasons.

Ace: Do you even hear yourself right now? I'm a murderer because of my "personality"?!

I've got to agree with him here - that's a pretty stupid argument to make. As much as I don't want to slander Min, did her personality seem like the type to murder?

Teruko: Show me your neck scars.

...That's a little invasive, no?

*discussion about scratched neck*

I also believe some people pointed out Ace's bloody fingers, but I haven't seen anyone mention scratches on his neck! To be fair, that is a VERY small detail that's quite easy to miss.

Teruko: But you probably never forgot. After all, you have to live with your scars every day. Even if you've been pretending it's fine, it still hurts, right? (paraphrased)

...Ohmygod she's projecting again. Is she insecure about her scars?? Or do they just remind her of bad situations? Teruko, I love you so so much you make me SOB.

Ace: I thought I was supposed to be the stupidest one here! What the fuck is this?!

...He just called himself stupid. He is NOT beating the idiot allegations.

the whole veronika spiel**

Well, yeah, I'd imagine being almost murdered is somewhat traumatising.

turpentine, jockey and strangling arguements:

This post is going to get VERY long soon, so sorry for the massive skip lmao.

Turpentine: Correct - How would have Ace kept Arei unharmed apart from her neck wounds without her being unconscious due to turpentine? I really don't have any clue.

Strangling: Strangling her?? I didn't see THAT coming. But yeah, I suppose it works. I really don't have much to say here, tbh.

Jockey: Basically, Ace is stronger than Eden and can therefore knock her out. True, I suppose, but it's a shaky argument based off assumptions.

Charles: Ace was trying to imitate Nico's murder.

I can see this being the case - Ace using that to frame Nico. Ace HAS been blaming Nico quite a bit, huh?

Ace's injury argument*

Good points made by both Eden (for some reason??) and Teruko. Yes, Ace was bleeding out and in a lot of pain, but the wound was not severe enough to limit either his speech or his movement. The murder might have hurt, but he'd be able to do it.

J: Isn't Ace...too stupid?

I burst out laughing...that's quite direct, J! But also mean. Ace is literally right there. Also, that is not a proper argument!

Ace's whole dignity thing*

Jeez, I used to despise Ace, but I'm liking him more and more. He has some really funny lines, and his development is REALLY good.

I think it's super interesting that ACE, who everyone believes is dumb and rude and unable to take criticism, is letting himself be called stupid for the sake of being declared innocent. It really shows how his character is more than just "I'm rude and I hate you all!" DRDTDev, your writing is so good.

Charles' explanation*

Now, I'm split on this part.

For one, I agree that his IQ would not have much to do with how Ace carried out the murder and is irrelevant. However, the whole argument of "Ace rides horses, he is strong!" thing isn't really accurate - in chapter 1, he describes how he never actually practices jockeying.

**also, the acevi fans are in pain. i see you looking at how levi said ace wasnt dumb. I SEE YOU

Non-stop debate with ball of clothes as bullet*

I was WONDERING WHEN THE CLOTHES WOULD COME IN!! Again, I'm not original, so I've seen theories regarding the ball being thrown over the railing. But...the railings pretty high. I don't think you could just throw it.

Bullet is used*

Oh, so Teruko is using the "ball of clothes was thrown" argument? It still seems very high up..

Ace: How could I have thrown it up that high?

Aha, so they are addressing that issue! I'm glad.

Ace tangent*

Again, I'm sorry for having to reduce this AMAZING character development down to a "tangent", but this post is already WAYYY too long.

He definitely has a point, though. Just because he's a jockey doesn't automatically make him the murderer. Just because he's somewhat athletic doesn't mean he could've thrown the ball of clothes.

And, as much as I REALLY don't want to admit this...Teruko's reasoning for siding with Eden was a little shaky. At first, Teruko believed Eden because Eden believed her in the first trial. Adorable, yes, but you could argue that was unfair towards Ace. However, there is definitely concrete evidence against Ace at this point and Teruko is valid for siding with Eden at this point in the trial.

Not to say I don't understand why Teruko sided with her - I totally understand. And she did say she'd keep an open mind. I still love how this was all done - Teruko siding with Eden was a nice touch.

Argument Armament or however the fuck its spelt.*

Wait what?? I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING\??? that AA came out of absolutely nowhere but i am here for it! The art is fantastic as always - i especially love the horse!

Final blow; using a sling shot*

...I'm sorry? What??

OH! THE FITNESS BAND!

I knew it must've come in somewhere! This trial has been so satisfying so far...God I love this fangan.

So, Ace tied the fitness band around the...bar things in the playgroud and flung the ball of clothes up. ...I still don't really get it, but it's definitely better than just yanking it up there!

Teruko, interrupting Ace: SHUT UP, ACE!

...eh? EH??? TERUKO??

Teruko: Do you even understand what this class trial is? Tell me, how do we decide who's the murderer? We determine who lives and dies by a majority vote. YTTD REF?? In other words, the opinion of everyone who *isn't* you.

I...woah. I didn't see that coming. Like, at all. Let's see what else she has to say.

Teruko: Who cares where you stored the water jugs? That doesn't matter. (paraphrased)

Um...I'm pretty sure it matters, Teruko. Though I can see where she's coming from - she wants this trial over with and she thinks discussing minor details is a waste of time.

This line makes you seem like the culprit, but she has protag privileges, so yeah. Just Teruko going off again.

Teruko: The point of the trial is to determine who the killer is, not to determine every single little detail of what happened.

Aha, so I'm correct. She doesn't want to discuss "minor details".

Teruko: It doesn't matter that you're not convinced. It's not going to help you, nor change your fate. No matter how you feel or what you think, nothing will change.

You think that your whining and screaming is going to change our minds? That if you call us all stupid and wrong, we're going to magically decide to not vote for you out of the goodwill of our hearts?

...Okay, so. I think she's projecting here. Again. She knows that screaming wont do anything for him - It never did anything for her. She knows that people vote stop deciding the culprit's you out of the goodwill of her heart - They didn't do that for her.

Maybe I'm reaching, who knows.

Teruko: Come on Ace! Don't you want to live?! Defend yourself!

Oh, she's desperate. She really wants to be wrong here, huh? She doesn't really want him to be a culprit.

Ace: I'm such a piece of shit.

...is that a confession?? IS IT??

Ace: Yeah, you're right. There's no way I'm making it out this trial alive.

Okay this could still be interpreted as him just giving up on trying to find the actual culprit but-

Ace: I killed Arei. That's exactly right.

....OH. I...WHAT??

That...wow. I don't even know what to say! Before this point in the trial, I was kind of suspicious he was an accomplice, but hey...that's a confession for sure!

Ace: I was scared of dying. That's all.

Yeah, I've definitely seen a theory on that somewhere. And it fits his character - But jeez. I'm gonna be sad to see him go.

Ace: I'm fucking terrified of dying! I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking about how I'm going to die young in this goddamn killing game! I didn't want to die!

Ace: Live, and escape this killing game, and go back to my shitty life where I can't do anything on my own because I can't control myself.

Ace: Back to that life where I can't do anything but a sport that I hate because I suck shit at everything else.

Wow, it sounds like he really didn't think he had any way of enjoying life, whether in the killing game or not. I feel so bad...We knew from Chp. 1 that he was quite the scaredy-cat, but to make that a motive into killing? Like...I'm not sure what to say. /pos The character development is SO good though I am HERE FOR THIS!!

J: So what? Get over yourself.

...J?

J: Murder is unacceptable, no matter what.

Oh! I see what's happening! This is a super interesting way for a character to think. This makes me think that sometime later on, a murder will be done on accident in some way, (maybe by herself - THAT would be a twist for sure) but she still refuses to forgive the culprit. I really love J getting character development!

Ace: Arei…she was a piece of shit too. Just like me. Eden if she said all that nice bs to Eden, there was no guarantee she was actually going to change. (paraphrased)

…Ow. “Piece of shit” really is becoming the new “Good person”, huh? /hj

And, I suppose Ace is right in that there wasn’t any way to tell if Arei  *was* going to change for certain - But I think she was genuine!

Ace: But at least she (arei) was trying. And I can’t change even one thing about myself. Not my shitty job, nor my shitty personality, nor my shitty life.

OH OKAY OUCH AUGH. This…is painful. Here’s my (not very good) interpretation of this:

Ace doesn’t trust that people will be able to change. Sure, there’s a chance - but no guarantee. However, he applauds Arei because at least she was trying to be better. He thinks it’s pointless for him to try to be better - everything bad in his life, he cannot change. And that scared him, and that is what led him to murder.

“...” said by Levi and Nico*

Wow, going to the two people who have the most to do with his character right after he says that is crazy. /lh 

But yeah, I can’t even imagine what was going through their heads… The person who reprimanded them for killing others (and in Nico’s case - trying to kill him) actually ended up being the killer of Arei - and intended to kill everyone in order to escape the killing game. It sure must be a lot to process, huh?

Ace: Just vote me already! Put me out of my damn misery!

…Damn. This really hurts… 

He’s obviously terrified of dying. He probably wants it over with. He doesn’t want to wait in anticipation for his death. He just wants it over with…I feel SO bad.

Teruko: Before we do that, allow me to go over the case one more time, to confirm we all understand this murder.

Ace: Why? Why do you have to remind me of the fucked-up shit I did? I already feel like crap. I don't... I don't want to think about what I've done. Not now, nor ever.

Ah, so there’s also guilt involved. I mean, of course he’d feel guilt - but he probably felt killing Arei and escaping the killing game was his only option, excluding death.

Teruko: …

Teruko: Sorry, but it has to be done.

AGH. Teruko feels bad for having to make him relive his murder…dangit this cast makes me ILL /pos

Teruko: Confront the mistakes you've made. Then accept death. That's the fate of everyone who chooses to participate in this killing game.

I meannn…she isn’t wrong. But I still feel horrible for Ace.

**Closing argument**

Oh cool!!! Here we go - I can’t wait!

GIRLKISSERS!!! oh, and ace ig. /j

This is probably my favourite cg from the closing argument. It’s just….Idk. Arei’s expression is sort of funny to me.

The way Arei’s hanging body appeared in the middle and lifted up slowly…that was disturbing. But in a really, really good way. DRDTdev is super creative with these closing arguments!

Cut her free…with what, exactly??

Also, Teruko calling the carousel a spinner is hilarious to me. Not even a spinny thing anymore - just a spinner.

I burst out laughing at this cg…because I DIDN’T EXPECT HIM TO BE UPSIDE DOWN??? I giggled a lot at this, it’s really not that funny - but I didn’t expect him to go full monkey style in order to tie the rope.

And…there it is. Sorry folks, but I really doubt Ace isn’t killer after getting the “trial close” screen and the…end of closing argument cg??? Thing??? I have no clue what it’s called. 

Wow, this episode was a rollercoaster ride. I love love love love LOVED it. I can’t wait for the next one!

Before this episode, I really didn’t like Ace. At all. I just found him annoying. But DRDTdev did his character arc SO well - he’s really grown on me! Now time to see him get executed…oh.

Also, I realise I forgot to comment on the new cgs,,, whoops. They’re all super good though - I LOVED Teruko’s.

Anyway, I think that’s all….this took SO incredibly long lol. I don't really know what to say in order to end this post. So. Yeah.

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 6

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 4K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

This one's a little longer than the last few, but it's one I was really excited to get to for a while. I hope you guys like it! We're starting to get into the nitty gritty! Once again please let me know what you think of it! Thank you all for your support :)

__________

After your emotional conversation with Pedro, you were worried he'd stop talking to you. At least, it seems that's how it usually works. Whenever you try to have a conversation about emotions with someone, it gets shut down. But surprisingly.. it didn't push Pedro away at all. The two of you talk nearly every day on the phone, and when you don't, it's made up for with plenty of text messages. You don't even have to be the first to communicate, either. It just feels natural. It doesn't need to be over-thought.

You keep telling yourself not to get your hopes up, but at the same time, you feel like maybe it's turning into something. Something more than friends. You couldn't help but wonder if Pedro felt the same way, or if maybe he's just a really nice guy.

Despite these feelings, you're still hesitant to tell him you love him. Although he put many of your fears to rest, you continued to be nervous. You were inexperienced. You were significantly younger than him. You led two very different lives. And even though he reassured you about your appearances, it doesn't mean you'd be his type once he actually saw you. Shoot, you don't even know if he's interested in pursuing a relationship.

Plus, now there's the risk of messing up a new friendship. Why ruin it?

How does anyone ever get into a relationship? Others make it look so easy, jumping from relationship to relationship like their heart isn't at stake.

Maybe someday you'd tell him. Maybe someday you'd share these other fears as well. But not yet. You weren't ready.

_____

About a week had gone by since you first talked on the phone, and it was around 1 PM when he called you.

"Hey Pedro!"

"Hey there, songbird," he replied cheerily.

"Songbird?" You giggled.

"If you hate it-"

"No, I love it. It's sweet," you blushed.

"Okay good. But the reason I'm calling is because I saw something on Instagram…"

"Oh yeah? What of?"

"About you. When were you going to tell me?"

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh what? What is he referring to?

You nervously laughed "I… what? Tell you what now?"

"Your album is coming out in a WEEK!??!" He practically yelled with excitement.

Seriously… this guy. Giving me a damn heart attack.

"OH" you replied sheepishly. "You scared me, thinking you heard… I dunno"

"Oh! I'm sorry. No. I haven't heard any information that you haven't told me yourself, nor would I believe it anyway. Other than.. this album!!!" Pedro announced like a gameshow host.

You laughed before replying "yes, yes, the album comes out next week! They just announced it I guess."

Pedro clapped and shouted. "CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so happy and proud of you!!!!!!!!"

You weren't looking in a mirror, and he couldn't see you either, but you could bet money that your cheeks were a bright shade of pink. "Thank you, Pedro!" You giggled, your face beginning to hurt from the large smile he caused.

"How are you celebrating? Is the studio doing anything for you?"

"Well they mentioned an album release party, but being that nobody really knows me I don't know who I would even invite. Plus I'm not sure that a large thing like that is how I'd like to show myself to the world. A little too ceremonious for my liking." You grimaced.

"Well, I happen to think you deserve something ceremonious, even if you don't think you do. And I think we should celebrate."

"We - you - you do? You mean…?" You stuttered in disbelief.

"You and me," he said matter-of-factly.

"You.. and… What did you have in mind?" 

Frankly you didn't know what to think.

"Well. I was thinking… Maybe we could listen to the album together? We could talk on the phone and listen, and it would be like our own little album release party. You wouldn't have to show yourself or meet people. It would just be like our normal conversations. Except I'd get to hear your new music and talk about it with you. If you want," he said, sounding slightly nervous.

Your heart swelled at the gesture and you agreed happily. The two of you made a plan to "meet" at 7PM and listen together the night of your album release. And he promised he wouldn't listen without you.

_____

It wasn't until after you were off the phone with him that you began to overthink the songs on your album. Not unlike your first single, these were also rather vulnerable at times. Sure, he knew a lot, and he'd listen to the album anyway. Probably. But still. To hear it… together? You were starting to feel like you were in over your head.

Nevertheless, the week continued on like normal. Work, talking to Pedro, hanging with Skipper. You agreed to a few more interviews in article or voice format after the release, and signed a few last minute things.

As the album date approached closer, Pedro texted you one day.

"Okay I'm going to ask you something and I want you to trust me okay. I'm not going to do anything that I know you would hate."

"Okay…" what does this man have up his sleeve?

"Can I have your address?"

Why does he want my address???? The panic settled in. But, you did like him; and he hadn't crossed any boundaries yet. In fact, he's been one of the most understanding of your qualms.

So. You sent him your address.

"Thank you ❤️" Pedro replied.

A heart !?! A red one!? 

"You're welcome. Also… I was planning to tell you anyway, but if you're looking for my address I may as well tell you…" you told him your real name. Not your stage name. Not a nickname. But your name. First, Last. All of it.

"Thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll keep it safe," reassured Pedro.

"Thank you, P."

"Of course. You have a beautiful name, by the way."

Your heart did a somersault.

_____

The album release date was finally here and you aren't sure you slept a wink. You were a bundle of nerves and excitement. You loved him and always enjoyed chatting together. This was exciting. But also these songs are so personal. This is a big moment. This was a big plan. And why did he want your address anyway?

~~~~~

Meanwhile at Pedro's place, he was just as nervous. He had started out excited, but then he got into his head. His plans for the evening started feeling too romantic. He didn't want you to get the wrong idea. He liked you, but he didn't want to push it. Maybe he was showing too many feelings towards you. You love someone else, and him not respecting that is rude. All you want is a friend and he's just going to seem like another one of those creepy guys trying to get into your pants.

But it was too late now, the plans were in motion, and maybe you'd enjoy it. Who knows. Either way, he loved your friendship, and friends could do this kind of thing for each other… right??

~~~~~

Throughout the day, you paced your house before finally leaving with Skipper in tow. "We gotta get some air, buddy. I'm losing it over here," you said while clipping his leash.

Stepping out of the house, you two went for a long walk, circled back toward home, and plopped down on your lawn. The house still felt too small in preparation for this evening, whatever it was. Why does it feel different anyway? It's just another phone call..? Unless….

Truth be told, while Pedro had his secret plans, you also had some of your own. Whether you followed through with them or not was up to your nerves.

After some sunbathing with your pup, you both head inside. The sun was starting to set, and you realized it was getting closer to the meetup time you chose with Pedro.

_____

6 PM.

You stared at the TV, not really absorbing anything on the screen, but needing a distraction. This afternoon you opted for a show that Pedro was not in. For once, you needed to not see his handsome face. You needed something else. Half paying attention while picking at a hangnail, you jump out of your skin at the sight of your phone lighting up. Pedro texted.

"Picking out my outfit for tonight! Always important to look nice for celebration."

Shit… he's not coming over is he?! That's why he wanted my address?!

"Wait…" you pondered how to phrase your question without sounding like a panicked asshole, when all you wanted to say was "what the fuck do you MEAN!?!"

I'm not dressed. I'm in sweats and covered in dog hair. I don't have makeup on. Oh no.

"Wait… is that why you wanted my address?"

"Oh. Nooo, no no. No, sweet girl, don't worry. I'm not coming over unexpectedly and interrupting your hiding place. I just think it's still important to dress nice."

"Oh..Okay.."

It was around 6:15 when he texted a picture of himself wearing a white button up with a dark blue suit and matching tie. He wore dark-frame glasses and his hair was slightly tamed, but still showed his messy curls. He looked gorgeous.

But as you scanned his body you noticed that instead of dress shoes, he wore a pair of polka dot socks. He had a goofy grin and his one eyebrow was cocked. You grinned.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go," he said.

"You're a goof, P. But I appreciate the effort."

A pause.

"Also, you look really handsome" you nervously hit send before you had a chance to chicken out.

Bold. Probably shouldn't have said that. But hey, friends compliment each other.

"Why thank you. A big accomplishment like this requires all the stops."

He timed this message right to the minute. As you read his text, your doorbell rang.

You opened the door to find two boxes. One large, one small. A delivery boy was getting into his car. 

"Delivery from your biggest fan. 

-❤️, P"

He… he sent me some kind of care package?? And put a heart? And said he's my biggest fan?

You squealed and carried the boxes into the house. "What's this!?" You texted Pedro.

"Open them and see!"

You immediately open them. Inside the larger box was a variety of items. The first thing you noticed was a small vase holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. To the right of that was a bag, which you opened and found your favorite meal, from your favorite restaurant. 

Wow, this is elaborate. 

Below the food was another small bag holding your favorite dessert, and finally to the left, your favorite drink.

I can't believe he remembered all of my favorite things.. This is so thoughtful.

When you moved the flower vase, you noticed one more small item. Is that a… corsage?? You texted Pedro the question.

"Yep!" He sent, with a photo of a matching flower on his lapel.

Remembering you still had the small box, you opened the box flaps, wondering what could possibly be left for him to give you. On top of it was another note.

"For a handsome boy.

- ❤️, your mom's friend, Pedro"

Under the note was a jar of peanut butter, a squeaky anchor toy, and…? What's this?

You unwrap a small paper wrapping to find a dog-sized black bowtie. Shut up.

"SKIPPER!!! Look what Pedro gave you, buddy!"

He padded over to you and let you hook the dressy accessory around his neck. With the clip adjusted, he sat back, looking proud of his new fashion. You quickly snapped a picture and texted it to Pedro.

"I can't believe you did all this, Pedro. Not only did you send all this, but you remembered my favorite things? You remembered all the details from when I first met Skipper. My favorite food, dessert, drink, and flower? That's so sweet, this is all too much Pedro..  Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. I.. I don't even know what to say."

You're amazing and I love you. Is what I want to say.

"You're welcome." He texted back. "Like I said, you deserve a celebration. Plus…"

Pedro sent a photo of his table, set up with the same food and drink, with the caption "now it's like we're having a dinner party."

It was nearing the time to meet, but you still had to do one more thing. You had pondered it earlier in the day, but fully decided it when Pedro sent the photo of himself dressed up. It's now or never.

_____

6:45 PM.

Pedro sat waiting for a reply after he sent his dinner photo. It had only been a couple minutes, but his hands were sweaty and his leg was shaking under the table. Finally, his phone went off. You sent… a video?

He opened it and pressed play. There, he saw you rotating your wrist with the corsage on it. The first time he's ever seen your wrist, hand, or arm before. The first time he's even seen your skin tone.

Geez you act like you're in the Victorian ages, pull yourself together, he rolled his eyes at himself for being so overjoyed.

Next, the video panned to Skipper in his bowtie, looking handsome as ever. The camera zoomed in on him and he looked up into the view with his big brown eyes. 

And then…

The camera panned to the side, and showed a mirror. A full length mirror, where you stood. He scanned your body from your perfectly done up hair and makeup, down your body to your dress. You wore your favorite dress, (in your favorite color, he noted) which showed off your body in the best ways. He looked down to the floor and noticed that you too were wearing fun socks instead of shoes. You wore a pair of striped socks and wrote in your caption "all dressed up and nowhere to go."

His heart picked up and he could feel himself breathing unevenly. He finally saw you. And you were gorgeous. He couldn't help the smile that enveloped his face.

Fuck. She's beautiful… I'm screwed. 

She loves someone else. She loves someone else. She loves someone else. Forget your feelings.

Despite his struggle, he knew he wanted, and needed, to tell you how beautiful he thought you looked. This was a big step to show yourself, and he also knew how self-conscious you felt about your body.

"Wow, you're so beautiful."

You blushed, replying with a quick thank you with a heart, then sending a second message asking if he was ready to listen. The video wasn't the only trick you had planned up your sleeve tonight.

______

The clock turned to 7 PM and Pedro hit the dial for your number. You answered the phone and said a quick "hang on" to set up the shared listening party link for your album. Once sent, you took a deep breath and steadied your nerves. Then, you took the plunge.

"Okay I got the link! I'm so exci - what - wait, is this an accident?" Pedro's hand fumbled as he received your incoming video chat request, his heart picking up to a galloping pace.

"Nope! You can answer it. If you want.."

He quickly swiped the accept button and there you were. Clad in your favorite dress, sitting at a table with the meal he sent in front of you. He could see himself in the corner square, dressed in his suit, with nearly the identical table setup and food.

He couldn't help but notice on his own video screen that his cheeks were turning rosy and his mouth curled into a large smile. But he was too happy to be shy about his blush.

"So this is you," he said.

"This is me," you replied shyly, but still with a huge smile and blush plastered on your face, matching Pedro's.

"You look.." he sighed shakily "..wow.."

"You look pretty wow yourself there," you said with a shy giggle.

Both of you let out gentle laughs, feeling a warm glow as your stomachs felt matching butterflies of nerves, excitement, and… maybe something else.

"So should we listen, I guess?" You asked nervously.

He didn't answer. He was looking at the screen, eyes scanning the video. 

Is he blushing? You wondered. But why would he be? He doesn't like me back… right?

He still hadn't answered you when you finally said "Pedro?? Did you hear me?"

He snapped out of it, somehow turning more crimson. "Oh! Sorry… yeah! Let's listen."

Your nerves were off the charts. Some of these songs were so vulnerable. The ones at the end of the album were the most telling of all.

But as the two of you ate your dinners while listening to your new album, you began to relax. The night was filled with him giving praise and you giving background information on the meanings and production of the songs. 

"Are all the different instruments and harmonies played by you?"

"They are! The studio offered studio musicians but I had originally played them all when I wrote it and wanted to keep it a one woman show."

"You're incredible," Pedro said, shaking his head.

You blushed, for the billionth time today.

When it came to "Imaginary Love" Pedro grinned. "Hey I know this one! The one that started it all." 

"Yep!" You agreed and he began lip syncing to the lyrics dramatically. Little did he know, those lyrics were actually about him. You giggled as he acted out a soulful rendition of the chorus.

"You know, this whole journey has been a real rollercoaster and there have been times I've wished I hadn't posted that song..."

Pedro looked at you with that puppy dog look of his and you continued "but then I remember… that if I never posted it, I would've never started talking to you, and it makes it all worth it."

Pedro placed his hand on his heart and pouted his lip. "I agree. I'm glad to have met you. If I didn't love this song already, that alone would be enough reason for me to consider it one of my favorites.

You grinned and looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. The two of you continued to listen, having long finished your dinner. Conversation flowed easily, and you couldn't help but feel like you were on a date. Not that you had much experience with that, but from what you'd seen in movies and shows, this felt very date-like. And you didn't want it to end.

But as the album went on, you approached the last two songs. The ones you were scared of most. The most vulnerable of the album. 

The second to last began to play.

'It's hard to imagine craving something that I've never had.

Dumb to be so desperate for something I've gone without.

But when I'm alone and thinking to myself, I need it so bad.

I crave it like a drug, but one I know nothing about.

Your kiss on my lips, or any kiss at all.

It hasn't happened yet, no matter how hard I fall.

The years keep passing, but still no love.

The years go by, but still no kisses.

I keep wondering and praying up above,

I guess I'm unkissable, despite my wishes.'

Pedro furrowed his brow, looking at you, searching for something. He read the title of the song, "Unkissable," and looked up again, opening and closing his mouth to find the right words.

"Do-" he stopped himself and pondered his wording again. "Is- are all these songs true?"

You stared at the table, picking your nail against the wood. "Yes."

"You really believe that?"

"... I mean… I don't know… maybe… I guess…" you avoided his gaze, but could feel it.

"And you've never-"

"Kissed anyone before? No. I haven't."

"But you've wanted to?"

"Yes," you whispered, starting to feel tears prick at your eyes.

Pedro shifted his lips to the side in thought before finally saying "well… you're still young. It'll happen."

"I'm 26, Pedro. Most people have kissed by the time they've graduated high school. I just… missed the boat I guess. It's okay. I'm just being silly. I don't want it that bad. We can maybe listen to something else now."

"Hey, hey. Don't shut down on me," he asked pleadingly. "26 is still very young, and don't worry about whenever everyone else has done things. Everyone does things at their own pace. I'm sorry you haven't experienced it yet, especially when you want it so badly, but I know that when it does happen, it'll probably be better than any kiss you would've had with some 15 year old boy you would've had in high school."

You laughed, breaking your tears for a minute. "Thanks Pedro."

"Of course. And hey, don't think of yourself as unkissable. Any guy should be so lucky to be with you. Maybe the guy you wrote about in your song will be your first."

"Maybe… I hope so. Thank you."

While your heart bloomed at the kind words and prospect of maybe kissing Pedro in the future, Pedro's heart began to ache. Not only was he sad for you when you wanted love so desperately, but he also couldn't help but feel sad hearing you want to kiss another man. He wants to be that guy for you. He wasn't joking when he said any man would be lucky. But especially knowing now your true age, 22 years younger than him, he knew for sure your crush couldn't be him. You were way too young to be interested in a 48 year old man. He was silly for even entertaining the idea.

But at least he had a new friend. And as he thought longer, he thought about his best friend Sarah, and her relationship. They have a huge age gap, 32 years, but they're happy. And he's happy for her. It doesn't feel weird with them. Could he have that with you? Or is he in over his head?

The last song on the album began to play. This one was less vulnerable, but if he decided to look at the lyrics and notice patterns, he'd see it in the chorus. 

'People have a lot to say

Everyone loves or hates me

Don't know what I did today

Right now you're all I can see

Only want to be with you.

Please, love me too.'

You're sure the obsessive listeners will figure out the acrostic, and if Pedro looks up the lyrics, he might too. But either way, it's out there. All you can do is hope for the best and eventually you're sure it'll come out anyway.

 This wasn't one you were sure about putting on the album, but when the studio read through your personal songbook, they went insane over it. They figured it out quickly, and they promised they'd keep it to themselves. Luckily they have so far, but if money came calling, you think they'd sell your heart faster than you could say no.

The song, and album, came to a close and Pedro looked up at the screen once again, staring into your eyes. "Once again your music has blown me away."

Whether he put together the end or not, he wasn't letting on.

"Thank you Pedro. I really appreciate it. And thank you for tonight. It was truly special and I mean it when I say it's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. You didn't have to go through all that trouble," you said thoughtfully.

"It was no trouble. You deserve congratulations for your album," Pedro replied with a smile.

Right.. it's just a congratulations. Nothing else. You sighed.

"Thank you. I'm really glad we did this. Talk again soon?" You asked.

"Absolutely. It was wonderful to meet you finally," Pedro said, finishing the sentence with your real name and smiling.

"It was great to meet you too, Pedro."

__________

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading.

Looking for more? Next chapter!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE NATASHA ROMANOFF HEADCANONS

If you are her love interest and if she's taken an interest in you, my advice is to just accept her love and feelings. Trust me, it's for the best of everyone 

As a yandere she is literally EVERYTHING: Obsessive, possessive till no extent, can be manipulative at times if you don't listen to her and heck, violent as well which I guess should not have been THAT much of a surprise 

She's gone through so much of training in these years and she's actually glad she did since now she doesn't even have to think twice to put her skills to good use and make sure you're 'safe' from the world. Natasha is a VERY strong person so it's pretty much pointless to win against her in battle

As much as she's literally aching to have you by her side she won't kidnap you at first. No no, she'll give you some time, she isn't THAT heartless. She'll try the traditional way of courting you, hoping you'll fall in love with her and that sort of thing. Expect LOTS and LOTS of flowers, candy and jewelry

This woman here and read you like an open book no joke. And heck, she might even know you better than you know yourself. She studies and knows EVERYTHING about you and YES, that even includes that Tumblr and Wattpad account you haven't told a single soul about till date. She'll even hack into your social media to see what you're up to and if anyone was flirting with you on Instagram or Snapchat, welp... that poor schmuck is not going to see the face of the Earth within the next 24 hours that's for sure

She may or may not have stalked you at times 'just for your safety' of course and she might have installed little teeny cameras in your room so she can watch you when you're not with her just for her to know that you're safe. She won't watch you shower though, that's a no no. As much as she stalks the living crap out of you she respects privacy and she won't invade your personal space and boundaries too much 

Remember that 'friend' of yours who was laughing and touching your knee 'by mistake' when your were working on a project together in your room? Oh wow... a BODY has been discovered! And no surprises on WHO killed that guy. What? He was too close for comfort according to Natasha when she was watching you through her camera and she HAD to take action! And besides, that moron should have known better than to touch you like that

Of course, innocent you won't suspect Nat AT ALL since she wouldn't know who he was and why some of your friends went missing recently. She doesn't even KNOW them (Or DOES she ;) ?) and so, you'll turn to her for help since she's your best friend. Of course, as much as Natasha is pleased and feeling on top of the world that you decided to come to HER of all people for help, she also feels a little guilty since she was the one who made you freak out and panic a little and so, being the really good friend she is, she'll whisper sweet words of comfort in your ear, some in Russian I guess and will hold you and be your shoulder to cry on 

She'll convince you to move in with her to which you'll hesitate at first but when she tells you that you might be in danger and that 'someone' who got rid  of your friends could be after you next. She'll use that same excuse for you to be with her just so she can protect you and keep you safe. Crafty and smart

She won't exactly do anything to the other Avengers if they talk to you for too long since she practically sees them as family ESPECIALLY Steve and Bucky but if Tony tries hitting on you, with one raise of an eyebrow from Natasha will send him going back to working on his invention with Bruce

You'll find yourself to be depending on her rather quickly and she's really happy that you're depending on her for things. She'll start showing affection to you slowly and lightly at first and the way you react is just SO CUTE for her! Like she won't be able to control herself any longer when she sees your cute blushing and flustered face. You fuel her obsession every single minute you spend with her 

She'll finally ask you to be hers and if you say yes, you'll get all her love and affection. You'll be the happiest person in the world and no matter what it is that you desire she will get it for you. Now, if you deny her you better be ready to kiss your freedom goodbye since it's going to go out of the window and down the drain even if you don't realize it just yet. She'll play it off like she's a bit disappointed and she's fine but inside she feels like she's breaking and her heart is sinking 

Brings you something to drink later on 'as an apology' and she'll sneakily mix a sleeping pill or something to knock you out inside and BOOM! You'll be lights out before you can even say 'Avengers Assemble'. Don't be too surprised when you wake up in a really different room with your feet and hands tied up to the bed in an underground bunker or something like that out in the sticks. No one's gonna hear you scream for help 

She'll keep you safe and sound and you're all she needs according to her. You will love her eventually even if she HAS to force you to. She wanted you for so long and now, she'll never let you go....

[missymysticc]

The lowly gardener

Pairing: loki x reader

Summary: a gardener of frigga and loki fall in love. Loki is about to have an arranged marriage. They're love is forbidden.

Warning: just angst, fluff, and no smut. No use of y/n. Forbidden romance

A/n: i uploaded the wrong thing the first time. This is a reupload. I accidentally posted half of the first draft.

"Meet me at our spot "

I read the note Loki slipped into my basket. It's risky, I know, we've been sneaking to meet each other for the past 2 years now. It's a miracle we haven't gotten caught.

I am just a gardener. The queen Frigga's gardener to be exact. I tend to the gardens of this palace. While Loki, he's the prince of asgard. no one in my status should even ever be talking to someone like him without permission. But the day he spoke to me, something I never expected, soon became the best moment of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years ago~

"You missed a spot" I look to the left where a small branch or leaves peaked out.

"Oh, apologies, your highness. I didn't notice"

I notice he smells of strong asgardian ale. It lingers, the scent, it's so him. Whenever I walk past Loki after parties he always smells of liquor. I don't mind it, the smell always tells me he is approaching.

"I'm going to ask you something. As someone who isn't close with Thor, what do you think of him?" He asks. This feels like a set up. He has always been jealous of Thor, the ladies he slept with, his status, and most of all, how the allfather favors him. It doesn't take someone near to him to notice.

"I don't think I should answer that question"

"Come on, it's not like anyone's here. It'll be our secret." He winks. I look around making sure no one else is here.

"He's... respectful, he's polite. Oh, and he once picked up the fire lillies I so carelessly dropped. So I guess he's nice” I give a tight lipped smile.

"But...?" Almost as if he read my mind. No wonder he's the God of lies.

"I guess...Look, if you're trying to get validation off of a lowly gardener, trust me, my opinion doesn't matter."

"It matters to me" he steps closer. He looked at me in a shifted demeanor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present day~

I walk quietly into the garden. To the part of the garden where it's covered. Our spot. The vine covered dome; the lilies, who's scent can cure sadness; the tulips, my personal favorite; but none of it matters since my eyes land on the gentleman standing at the corner.

"You came" he seemed surprised.

"Was there a time where I didn't?" I chuckle at his doubtfulness.

"You were hesitant the first few times we met."

“Yet, I still met you every single time you asked��

I took a few steps closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He leans his head on mine. I feel comfort in his arms.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I lift his head up by his chin. He never looked this upset. I've seen him at his worst, his expression shows a different type of devastation.

"I'm getting married. Father arranged me to marry some princess I have never even met. Like I even bothered to learn her name. I-I can't be married! Not if it's not with you!"

"Love, we knew that we can't be together from the start. We knew that getting into this. I know it's difficult, but all of this was meant to end in due time." I search his face for some sort of clarity. Instead, he pushes me back with confusion written all over his face.

"Do you love me?"

"What are you even asking me?"

"Just answer" my hand cups his cheek wiping of the tears dropping of his eyes.

"Of course I do!"

"Please say it. I just need to hear you say it."

His voice cracks as he looks to the side, then back to me.

"I love you, I'll come back to you more times than the number of all the stars combined. I have loved you ever since the night you asked me such a ridiculous question, and I will love you till the very last sentence you could ever mutter. I love you, and only you." His doubt of my love has always been there. His insecurities that he masks with his so-called self pride, I see through it, I see through it all. It has always been prevalent for me.

"Then why are you alright with me getting married off? You are fine with me with another woman beside me in bed?"

"Of course not! I'm just saying you need to face reality. We were never meant to be together. What reality do you think a mere servant gardener and the all mighty prince of Asgard can be together peacefully?"

He pauses for a minute searching my eyes for something. He sighs, anger surfaces to his face, pushing me back further. He storms off.

The very next day, at sunrise. Someone knocks on the door of my chambers.

“Tyra, I'll be ready in a few-”

My chamber doors open and it isn't Tyra.

“Love.” Loki calls out to me.

“Hey you” I smiled at him. He approaches me and holds both of my hands nearing them to his lips and kisses them.

“You shouldn't be here”qzd

“Would you rather I leave?”

I chuckle

“No, I'd much rather you stay here.”

“I want to apologize. I know I acted irrationally last night. Sometimes I just doubt how anyone as lovely as you could ever want me”

“That's ridiculous! I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have been so unbothered about your arranged marriage. You were upset and instead of comforting you, I made it worse.”

“I really tried to convince my father not to marry me off. He wouldn't budge”

“I know, while you're not married, let's just enjoy each other's company. Not worrying about the future. Just you and me. What do you say?”

He kisses me gently. His lips lingered onto mine longer than usual. No words needed to be said.

[frickingnerd]

can't miss what you never had

pairing: apollo justice x gn!reader

summary: when klavier asks you out, apollo finally decides to pour his heart out and confess to you! but you never planned to go out with klavier anyways…

tags: confession (apollo to reader), bit of angst to silly & wholesome fluff, trucy playing matchmaking for reader & apollo, use of y/n, flustered & awkward apollo, nickname (polly)

“haven't you heard, polly? klavier asked out y/n!”

trucy's words echoed through apollo's head, as he ran towards the wright anything agency. after a day of investigating together, trucy had told apollo about how klavier had finally asked you out on a date. apollo wasn't sure why she'd tell him or if trucy knew that apollo had liked you for a long time now, but hearing those words stirred up something inside him. and before he knew it, he found himself running back to the office, determined to stop you from agreeing to go out with klavier!

“hello–?” as apollo barged through the door, he announced his presence. he wasn't sure if anyone else was here. he couldn't even be sure if you were here. “y/n…?”

there was a moment of silence, in which a thousand thoughts ran through apollo's head. maybe you had already gone home. maybe he had just missed you. or maybe klavier had come to pick you up for that date trucy talked about…

“apollo?”

all his worries were washed away, as he heard your voice. you stepped out of the kitchen, a cup of coffee in your hands that you seemed to have just made for yourself. apollo smiled wide as he spotted you, yet you smiled a little confused at your friend and colleague.

“oh good, you're still here!” apollo smiled and took a step forward. “there's… something i need to talk to you about!”

you quietly put away your cup of coffee, before turning to face apollo, your attention fully on him now.

“what do you wanna talk about?” you asked, a little hesitant, as you had never seen apollo this serious before. at least, not outside of court.

“i– i know that klavier asked you out. trucy just told me about it…” apollo started. “and– maybe this isn't for me to decide, but, please, don't go out with him! i know he's not a bad guy, but…”

apollo hesitated, thinking carefully about his next few words. the confused look on your face made him even more nervous.

“i’ve had feelings for you for a long time now. i know i never said a thing, because i didn't want to risk ruining our friendship or make it awkward for us to work together. but now that someone else asked you out, i think i just had to tell you!”

as apollo finished pouring his heart out, he nervously looked back at you. the confused look had vanished from your lips and instead an amused smile rested on your lips. he couldn't tell if this made him more nervous than before.

“c-can you… say something?” apollo pleaded nervously, your smile irritating him so much that he worried you might just start laughing at him.

“did trucy tell you that klavier asked me out…?”

apollo nodded quietly in response, which only made that smile on your lips wider.

“i haven't even been speaking to klavier in the last few days. and if he asked me out, i must've failed to realize that.” you told apollo, before you chuckled softly. “i think trucy might've lied to you there.”

apollo was at a loss for words. he had worried so much about losing you to klavier that he had failed to even ask you if he truly asked you out. and as it turned out, it was just some prank trucy played on him. the question of ‘why’ came to him. for a moment, he thought maybe trucy wanted to humiliate him. but she'd never do such a thing. and then, another thought, a much more reasonable one, occurred to him:

“trucy lied to me so that i'd confess to you…” apollo sighed, embarrassed that he hadn't realized it sooner.

“i think she did…” you smiled softly, resting a hand on apollo's shoulder, in an attempt to offer some comfort. “but… i think i'm glad she did.”

apollo's head shot up and he stared at you, both hopeful and nervous.

“why are you glad…?” he asked, this time too afraid to make any assumptions or say things out loud that he didn't know for certain.

“because i've liked you for a very long time too, polly. and i'm happy to know that we both feel the same…”

the corners of apollo's lips slowly went up, as a giddy smile spread over his face. you really did like him too! perhaps trucy knew that all along and got tired of watching this slow and painful development, deciding to speed this all up.

“then… if you're not going out on a date with klavier, would you mind going out on a date with me instead?”

apollo asked, still a little nervous, even if he already knew your answer.

“i'd love to go out with you, polly”

[dominickearney]

i have a very self indulgent cattonquick feminization fic idea, but i don't think i'm gonna write it. i still really wanna find other ppl who might be into it though so. ideas below

oliver poisoned him, but felix didn't die. oliver flees saltburn while felix is in the hospital, scared of possible retaliation or worse. his excuse is everything "hitting too close to home", as the cattons still are unaware of his actual home life. he comments on how overdoses are much too common for him and he can't handle seeing felix in such a state.

felix never sees oliver again.

until he returns to school that fall anyway.

they avoid each other all semester. felix sees him around campus still. oliver's hair is starting to get longer. probably because felix isn't around to tell him what looks good anymore.

felix tells his friends and farleigh that he's mad because oliver left while he was recovering. nothing about him lying.

felix knows oliver tried to kill him. he's mad at himself for missing him. he's mad at himself for not caring.

they return after holiday break.

it's more of the same. avoiding each other, sometimes making awkward eye contact. oliver doesn't talk to anyone, has no friends seemingly. felix always sees him alone. not even the weird blond guy follows him around anymore. his hair's past his ears now. he tucks it behind sometimes.

felix gets drunk at the pub like always. he can't stop thinking about oliver the whole time. how evil he is. how much he wants to hurt him. his eyes. his lips. how much he misses him. his hair. felix leaves. doesn't bring a girl home with him. goes to find ollie instead.

ollie's in his dorm of course. where else would he be?

oliver answers when felix knocks, then tries to close it out of fear when he sees who it is. felix stops the door with his hand, shoves his way inside and onto oliver's bed.

oliver nervously follows, but keeps his distance.

"i need to talk to you"

"felix-"

"shut the fuck up, ollie. you left me to die, least you can fucking do is shut the fuck up"

oliver shuts up. felix feels sick. there's a moment.

"why did you do it?"

"do what?" felix makes a face. "honest to god felix i haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about"

felix's voice changes. "ollie."

that breaks oliver. he rushes up to him on his bed, pleading with felix for forgiveness, making his excuses, declaring his love. felix finds it as pathetic as it is endearing. his face remains neutral as he watches his former best friend and attempted murderer grovel at his feet, pull at his pants and beg for forgiveness.

felix finally speaks. “i don’t forgive you.”

oliver is shattered. "felix..."

he looks at oliver, looks in his eyes. he's always gotten attention, sure, but he's never had devotion like this. it's intoxicating, watching someone look up at him like he's a god, like he possesses unwordly powers.

he pushes oliver's new, longer bangs out of the way, gets a good look at him. he runs his thumb along oliver's bottom lip. oliver is hesitant, but he takes it into his mouth. felix pulls him open. oliver just sits there, pillar still, looking up at felix in adoration. always fucking looking up at him. a glob of spit falls from felix’s lips into oliver's waiting mouth. oliver closes his eyes, clearly being overtaken by pleasure, and swallows it. he's accepted his only chance at redemption.

"i will never forgive you." felix doesn't believe his own words, but needs to say them.

he pulls oliver into his lap (not as easily as he had hoped). oliver's shaking, but keeps his hands at his sides.

for a second, felix thinks about fucking oliver tonight. it's unfamiliar territory, but he's been around bisexuals his whole life, even if he never thought he was one. and maybe he's not, looking at oliver. not just his hair, his hands are so much smaller than felix's own. he's so much smaller than felix in general. fucking oliver would basically be like fucking a girl.

"you grew your hair out."

"i didn't really..." felix pushes a loose bit of oliver's hair behind his ear. "do you like it?"

felix nods. he wants to kiss him. god, he wants to kiss him, but oliver hasn't earned it yet. they have so much to talk about. too much, but at least for now, they have a mutual understanding.

tldr: felix is beating himself up for missing oliver. felix copes with his feelings by treating oliver like a girl. potentially cracks his egg? or is it a devotion thing? who knows!

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Jonelias week day seven! It's the end already! D:. HOW?? Setting: Entity swap // Prompt: Fatal attraction

Jon burst into his office on the third week of his first month at the Institute, looking like he hasn't slept in three days and reeking of the smell of cigarettes. Elias's nose twitch in distaste -- something to work on, certainly, if Jon stayed employed here long enough --, but instead of doing what he usually does when employes cross boundaries, he tilts his head up with a raised eyebrow.

Jon, after all, is not quite the usual type Elias hire. Jon has been touched by the same Master as Elias, but he's floundering with it still, and Elias is curious to see what will come out of it.

"Is something the matter, Jon?" he asks. "Someone dying, perhaps?"

It does send a little thrill in his spine, the way Jon reacts like he gets the joke, even if he doesn't like it. It's remarkably rare for people to truly understand it.

"You," Jon answers. "You are dying. You should be dead! Every -- Every part of you is just -- dead. How are you doing it? Are you sick? I've been meeting with sick people and none of them are simply just, just dead --"

"Well, that's a rather rude and personal thing to ask, don't you think?" Elias cuts him off and Jon glowers at him, although there's a hint of hunger in his eyes.

"But you're not surprised," he says slowly. Victoriously. "There is something wrong with you, isn't it? You're not like any of the others I-- You're not like anyone else I've ever met."

"Well, you're young," Elias says, amused. "You haven't met many people yet."

Jon frowns. "Are there others?" he asks. "How many? Is this a -- what, a polite zombie apocalypse? Vampires? A strange mutant gene?"

"Nothing as dull as that, I'm afraid; but shouldn't we start at the beginning, Jonathan? What don't you tell me what you see?"

"I --" Jon wavers, hesitant. Elias decides he might as well make a proper gesture of goodwill, and leaves work fully behind to get up, closing the distance between Jon to offer him his hand, the very same Jon had only accepted to shake after being hired with his little black gloves on. Jon looks back at him, takes a deep breath, and remove the very same glove from his left hand this time and, very carefully, brush his fingers over Elias' opened palm.

Elias shudders; despite centuries of life, there is still something sickeningly terrifying about watching his skin immediately wrinkle and pale, a few patch of it simply falling off into ashes to reveal dull, white bone underneath -- no blood, no warmth, nothing but the End --

It's ever so embarassing to be the first to remove his hand, but he does it all the same. All the while Jon's eyes have darkened still, somehow, and now they stare at him with such bottomless, cold hunger that Elias worries a moment he'll push; Elias also cannot help but lean forwards. What if they kissed? he wonders. Would Jon manage to undo centuries of good and horrid work in a moment? Does Jon have the power to kill yet, or will the fear still be enough to sustain him, once he grow stronger? It's something Elias usually appreciate, how passive Death can be in its certainty It shall always get what It wants in the End.

But then his God goes and picks some young avatars like Jon, brimming with life and the urge for action, and it begs the question --

"You should be dead," Jon murmurs. "And that still makes you afraid, even now. I can see -- every second you are stealing from others, every missed heartbeats that sends you hunting, every moment you are walking when you should be rotting in the earth and I know -- I know you know that you are already rotting, as we speak; you live and talk and breath but you are dead, you've been dead for centuries --"

"It's a bargain I've made, and it's not entirely displeasing, usually," Elias says, after a beat. Jon blinks and seems to come back to himself, his face crumbling into a mixture of guilt, curiosity and terror, and he hastily put his glove back on. "Very impressive," Elias tells him, to regain full control of his senses and the situation. "Is that how it is for everyone you touch, then?"

"...Yes," Jon mutters, reluctantly, fleeing his gaze now. "It -- it didn't use to be so... so much but it's been getting... hard. Since university."

"Fascinating," Elias breathes. Terrible, the way he has to resist his own impulsve to embrace Jon fully. The body has a funny way of craving Death in all its form, even when the mind firmly wants it away. "Why don't you sit down, then? Let's talk about it all. There is many things we might be able to do for one another in the long run, I'm rather sure of it."

[writingwisterias]

Speak up When it Matters

Leon Kennedy x Mute!Reader (Gn)

Warnings: Events of RE6, Light Violence, Light angst, Fluff, Platonic Relationship

Words: 1.4k

Summary: Leon has to pick who he is training but what happens when the reader is mute and the events of RE6 occur...

Hope you enjoy this! It was again just a random thought, I've written the reader to be optionally mute but haven't specified why so it's up to you with how you interpret the reason ~ Mads <3

Masterlist

He wasn't sure why he was training the new recruits, he spent the late hours of his shift sorting through the files choosing which person would be the lucky one he selected to work with him. Most of them sounded or seemed boring, that was until your came up. In your notes it mentioned that you were a mute, maybe it would be interesting or a relief to finally have someone that couldn't badger him about his life or the missions he had been on.

He met you a few days later, your first mission was to protect the president but also be at Leon's side. You were nervous, refusing to even move away from Leon in fear of doing the wrong protocol, you might as well have been taking notes at this point. At first Leon forgot you didn't speak, he kept finding himself getting frustrated at the fact you never replied to him when he asked you something, instead you would nod or give him a thumbs up and smile as a signal you understood. When you both returned to the hotel he found the silence unnerving as he felt his thoughts beginning to wonder, he probably would turn to the bottle soon as per usual. However, it was as if you could tell because suddenly you stood up and walked over to your bag fishing out what seemed to be a mini whiteboard.

'What's your favourite colour?' He blinked at the question, it was so simple- normal even compared to everything else everyone had asked. His eyes flickering from the board and your face. "Uh-b-blue" He muttered, his brain buffering. You smiled turning the board to face you as you began to write the next sentence. 'Cool, mine's orange' Leon smiled an actual smile not one of the half-assed smiles he gave everyone else he spoke to. 'How do you think I'm doing so far with training?' He pondered for a moment, the question almost stumping him as he thought of the things he had seen you do today or stuff he thought you could have improved on. expect the wasn't anything. you were quiet and listened to everything he explained acting on any adjustments he made to the day without hesitation or panic. "You did really well today" he complimented, his heart thumping as your growing smile. "D-do you have any questions for me?" he asked, attempting to prevent this conversation from being one-sided.

'I'm worried people don't think I do a good job because I don't talk' It wasn't a question but instead a statement, a fear that had been eating at you alive all week as you worked. Leon didn't really know how to respond, he wasn't brave enough to ask why you were mute in case something had happened to you that caused you to become mute, he of all people knew what it was like to relive a nightmare each time you told the story. However, he did notice you spending your breaks sitting next to him never actually speaking, most of the time he didn't even notice that you had spoken to him. "From what I've seen you are observant and notice things sometimes I miss" he shrugged. He watched your face contort in thought as you pondered on what he had said before eventually you began writing your reply. He wasn't sure why he leaned forward eager to see your reply as it took you slightly longer to finish writing it, instead of holding it up for him to read you handed it to him. "Is this your way of saying I need glasses?" he joked as he took the board from your hands, being careful to not rub off any of the black ink. You giggled and shook your head at his comment.

'I'm grateful it was you. anyone else would have just treated me differently, you still communicate and keep me in the loop even if I don't verbally respond. You're a good person Leon.'

Leon felt himself freeze, they were words he hadn't heard from anyone for a long time. You scooted closer, eyes showing concern as you gingerly placed your hand on his knee bringing his attention back to you. You smiled at him, the action confirming you meant your words. "Thank you- I haven't heard that from anyone for a long time"

It was from that point that changed your relationship with him, you kept the whiteboard in your suit jacket pulling it out on breaks to chat with him. You spent the evenings eating hotel room service and watching the crap late-night tv. Everything seemed to go smoothly until the actual event. The power went out and groans began to fill the room causing goosebumps to spread over your skin. "We need to get the president out of here" Leon spoke, his grip on your arm bringing you back to reality as he turned you to face him. "Just shoot them in the head and stay close to me"

You wanted to ask him who, but that was until he pushed you behind him and shot one of your colleagues. You looked at the body its eyes bloodshot and blood dripping from its mouth. You desperately wanted to ask him what was happening, if he was infected. Instead, he placed your gun in your hand, his eyes intensely staring at you, you took a deep breath giving him a firm nod before following him down the dark corridor towards the press room the president was in. You walked back to back, making sure nothing could get to either of you, knives held underneath the gun. Your posture was exactly the same as his, Leon felt pride swell in his chest as to how quickly you adapted to the situation and used his training to protect each other.

It was Leon's turn to freeze once he had opened the door to face the President crouched over the body of one of his secret service members. His gun lowered slightly, trying to picture if what he was seeing was actually correct. You shut the door behind you both making sure nothing could sneak up behind you both. Leon called to him, hoping that maybe he wasn't fully turned and was still alive. The president slowly rose before it began stumbling towards him, his arms outstretched towards your partner whilst low groans left his lips. Leon didn't hesitate. The gunshot made you jump as you watched the body fall to the floor. You moved around Leon to get a view of the president on the floor assuming the room was now clear. Leon just stood staring at the body, his gun shaking slightly as the adrenaline began to wear off. A voice broke him from his trance, he would have assumed it was another survivor they had missed somewhere in the room but you jumped with your knife ready killing a Zombie that had gotten too close to him.

"LEON" You yelled again, the room now becoming filled with Zombies. You weren't sure why you had chosen to now break your year's worth of silence. Perhaps it was the panic of losing Leon, the only guy who has given you a chance since you had been in the industry. "Leon please we have to move" you spoke again, your voice soft and cracked as you grasped his hand and began to pull him out of the room. His body followed your call on instinct, protecting you as you guided him to safety not stopping once. He desperately wanted to hear your call again, to encourage him to keep going to survive.

Eventually, you both managed to escape the chaos for a moment, spending the time reloading your weapons and checking each other for bites or other injuries. "You spoke," Leon said bluntly looking at you from where he sat leaning against the wall. Your hand instinctively went to reach for the whiteboard in your pocket, he watched as it paused before you decided to lower it at your side again. "I did" you croaked out, it felt weird hearing your voice again. "I don't need to hide behind my whiteboard with you, we are going to find out who did this together. I-I trust you"

Leon smiled before nodding, his heart fluttering at you placing your trust in him. "We'll do it together" He responded as he slowly stood. "Thank you for saving me" He added holding his hand out for you to shake. Instead, you smiled and began to bring him into a hug. You felt the tension melt away from the both of you just for a moment before you both readied yourselves to face what you had to.

[mopeyy]

Forgotten Love

Nor x Fem Na'vi Reader

angst

Summary: Reader is in love with Nor, but he's still in love with her dead sister.

Inspired by this post!!

The soft ground of pandora glowed with each step you took, the leaves rustling from the soft wind. The glowing plants and moon guided you safely through the forest. You thought back to what led you out here tonight, how nobody in the resistance could find Nor, and you were tasked to look for him. Of course, you were the only one who knew where he'd be. You knew Nor more than anyone here, you'd memorized him from the many years you spent together in the RDA.

You stepped over a log, making your way towards the top of the waterfall, his favorite spot. You weren't surprised to see his figure sitting there, his legs dangling over the edge. Since the resistance rescued all of you, he often came up here to think. You didn't try to be quiet as you approached him, not wanting to accidentally scare him. His sharp ears twitched when you took a step. He knew you were there.

He said nothing when you took a seat next to him, still keeping his gaze on the view infront of him. Determined to end the silence, you spoke first. "Everyone is looking for you, Priya sent me to go and find you." He let a soft smile pass his face, "Well than you've found me." His gaze was unwavering, still not turning to look at you. You took note to the crease in his brows, and how his ears were slightly pinned back, he was upset. "Is this about the Aranahe? I know we spoke about it last time." You questioned.

Was he still upset? Scared that the Na'vi might view him different? Your thoughts came to an end when he replied, "No, not this time. its just-" He paused, contemplating on wether to not to tell you, "Its nothing, don't worry yourself" He ended, deciding to keep whatever he was thinking about private. You let out a soft sigh. With everything going on it was not a good time to keep secrets from one another. You placed a hand on his shoulder, "I don't mind worrying, you are my friend. Tell me, what's on your mind?" He glanced at you from the corner of his eye before placing his hand on top of yours.

He opened his mouth to speak, "Im just thinking about Aha'ri. How unfair it is that we get to be here and she doesn't. " You stayed silent, leading him to continue, "She would have loved it here, to be Na'vi. She was so brave and adventurous." A smile overtook his face as he spoke about her. You watched how his eyes held a different look in them. It was a look you haven't seen before. Why did he look this way when speaking about your sister? "I don't know I just...well, do you ever think about her?" He asked, turning to face you and watch for your response.

You swallowed before answering, "Of course I do, everyday. She was the only family I had left." you whispered, voice growing quiet and sad at the thought of her. He took your silence as his turn to speak, "I sometimes wonder what things would be like if she was still here. How different they would be." You raised a brow at this, confused you asked, "Different how?" He paused once again, thinking about his next words, "I haven't told anyone this before but, when we were children I.." he hesitated, taking a short pause before continuing, "When we were children I was in love with her. And...sometimes I think I still am." He confessed. He watched your face for any sort of reaction but you couldn't believe what you were hearing. Yes, Nor often talked of your sister but you just thought it was because he missed her like the rest of you did, you had never imagined that he may have loved her. You knew for a fact that your sister had not felt the same. When you were children all she focused on was escaping and keeping your Sarentu culture alive. She wasn't focused on love. and never once had she mentioned such a thought about Nor. How could he love someone who didn't feel the same, someone who was no longer here? How could he still love her when you were right here, in love with him.

Your eyes fell to your lap and your ears pinned to your head. You removed your hand from his shoulder and stood up. Watching you, he stood up too. "Im sorry, was that too much? I know speaking of her can bring back the memories for you and that was never my intention." He explained, he felt bad thinking that the thought of your sister made you sad all over again. You shook your head and began walking away from him, "Its not that Nor, its nothing don't worry." He started to walk behind you. He didn't want you to leave the conversation upset. "What happened to being friends and telling each other what's on our minds?" He questioned, using your words against you. When you didn't respond he grabbed your arm. Soft enough not to hurt you, but tight enough to stop you from walking away. He put his other hand on your hip, turning you to face him. "Y/n, what is it?" He pleaded.

You let out a soft breath before looking up at him through your lashes, begging your eyes not to water. "Its you Nor" You spoke. His face changed to one of confusion. His eyes narrowed and his brows creased in confusion. "I-what?" He replied, the confusion evident in his tone. You rolled your eyes. How could he be so dense? "Im upset because of you Nor. How could you love my sister when I've been here the whole time? How could you love her when I love you." You mumbled the last part. When he stayed quiet you continued to speak, "Why do you think its always me who finds you when no one else can? Why do you thinks its always me who comforts you when your upset? Why do you thinks it me who knows what concerns you? Why do you think its me who knows you." You finished.

Upon your confession his grip on you loosened. You took this as your chance to leave. Your broke free of his grip and walked away into the forest. he didn't follow after you.

comment if you want part 2!

[captain-mj]

So we all know medusa lore, right? Honestly I just want to see some good old "oh no scary snake monster that turns people to stone but the other person is blind so they’re safe" yknow? It can be pricegraves, it can be körangi, honestly it can be any ship bc I just love your writing style and know it would fuck! (If they fuck as well, I wouldn’t be opposed, tho fluff is nice too u feel me?)

This is actually from before the great inbox clearing that happened a few weeks ago! I really liked this ask!

Choosing Korangi just because I haven't done anything with them in a while and I miss them. Horangi is the gorgon of course. He wears sunglasses already, it's mandatory. König was blinded due to an accident while in Kortac and has to retire.

Horangi had always had to be very... very careful. He had to have his own room. Keep his helmet and sunglasses on at all times. Don't let anyone see him sleep.

But right now, he was on leave with a freshly blinded König and for once, he didn't have to worry. König couldn't see him. Couldn't get scared of what he was and definitely could not be turned to stone.

Horangi looked at him. König laid on the couch, looking.... upset. Reasonably so. It had all only happened two weeks ago and he was just now allowed out of the hospital. He had the sunglasses the place gave him on. He no longer needed bandages, so it was more for aesthetic reasons, though Horangi thought his eyes looked more or less the same as before.

König sighed softly and Horangi was up in an instant. "Need something?" Just because he could appreciate the freedom of not needing to protect König, it didn't mean he didn't feel bad. They were friends and his friend was injured.

"No, Horangi. I'm fine."

Horangi nodded before remembering himself. "Alright. Tell me if you do."

"I never saw your face."

"What?"

"I never saw your face. I always wanted to ask..." König sighed.

Horangi hesitated before gently touching his snakes. They all moved away from his face and he gently grabbed König's hands. He pulled them to his face. König paused for a second before perking up and quickly starting to trace his face.

"It's hard to... imagine your face, but I can tell you're pretty." König smiled at him.

Horangi stared at him, flushing. One of his snakes bit König's finger and he jerked back.

"What was that??" König huffed. "You told me to do that!!"

Horangi winced. "Sorry! Sorry!" He blushed and quickly grabbed König's hand and looked at it. There were two very small beads of blood from the snake's fangs. Horangi glared at it and it quickly hid behind the others. He grabbed the bandages and gently put on on his fingers.

König seemed to be thinking. He eventually frowned up at him and Horangi's thoughts stuttered. He knew König couldn't see him, but every time he looked in his general direction, his heart jolted.

"How did you even bite me like that?"

Horangi hesitated before taking a deep breath. He grabbed König's hand again and let the snakes touch him. For a second, König recoiled before freezing, realizing what the snakes were.

"Oh."

Moment of silence.

"I was... nervous to tell you. Didn't know how you'd react. Plus, I was worried you'd want to see more and then..."

"You're like Medusa?" König sounded weirdly calm.

"Exactly."

"If I looked in your eyes..."

"Turn to stone."

"Explains your sunglasses." was all König said. He didn't really comment other than that which made Horangi a little nervous.

Horangi took a deep breath and smiled at him, trying to fake cheerfulness, even if it couldn't be seen. He focused on cleaning up their apartment. After a long time of too much silence, he looked over at him. "This isn't going to change things, right?"

"I can't see you." König answered.

"But I'm not human. Does that not frighten you?"

"You are still Horangi. No matter what you are, no matter your DNA. are you not still my friend?" König touched his hand gently. He smiled and looked a tiny bit lopsided. Horangi let himself really look at him for a moment.

Handsome. So very handsome. Square jaw, prominent cheekbones, bright red hair that looked almost unnatural.

Horangi leaned down and kissed him gently. Just the smallest brush of their lips together. König flinched back and shame flooding Horangi. His friend was fucking blind and he was over here harrass-

"Your snakes won't bite me again, will they?"

Horangi laughed. "Oh... no. Sorry, that one is a little naughty but it was just because I was nervous."

König nodded and kissed him again. Very softly before moving into it. Horangi gently put his hands on his face, both of them guiding each other.

"You don't taste human."

"What the fuck does that mean???" Horangi jerked back.

König smiled at him and pulled him back. "We should have kissed sooner."

"Sunglasses may have gotten in the way."

"Mine haven't."

"Fair point." Horangi kissed along his jaw, holding him tight. "You took this rather easily."

König hummed. "My Oma raised me to be superstitious." He squeezed him. "Didn't really expect this, but you know."

Horangi hummed. "You have stubble."

"I guess I'll have to learn shave... Or grow a beard."

Horangi imagined König with a beard and grimaced. "I'll help you until you get the hang of it. Prefer you smooth shaven."