#i REALLY hope my manager gives us next weekend off like i requested | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year ago

Note

hello gorgeous, I love your imagination that you put into words. I expecially like your works on daniel&gasly (maybe because they're my favorite drivers). I saw that requests are closed and you're going under the knife (hope it goes well!) but if by any chance you want/have time to write this I'll be happy. Will be pleased with whatever you choose to do with this request.

The reader is a very normal, ordinary person. Rents a flat, has a job, meets with her friends form time to time. Nothing much. Somehow hers and the drivers paths cross. He immediately falls in love with her, she feels the attraction but after one weekend with him she understands that they're too different and it certainly won't work. So he's trying to persuade her to give them a try and she always runs away when her feelings instead of brain start to win. During intimate moments she starts to make awful jokes or act like a child, everything to not let the passion take over and the driver notices that and the seducing begins.

Would love this with dan or pierre but it's up to you.

Have a lovely day! 😊

P.S: Sorry for my English, it's not my 1st language

Romantic at Heart || DR3

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!reader Warnings: none really, smut implied WC: 2.3k

F1 Masterlist

You should have been heading straight home, just like you had promised the girls after a Friday night out, but the lights had stolen your attention. At first you thought it was a firefly, a single orange glowing tail on the brick wall. Then you spotted another, but it was blue. Then one by one you noticed them dotted along the wall, all the colours of the rainbow leading the way to the riverbank in the opposite direction to your apartment.

Curiosity had you following the path of tiny LED lights, wondering what it might lead to. The distance between each beacon grew closer until they became clusters, like little galaxies of constellations you could wish upon. A small laugh bubbled up as you skipped along to the next one with childlike excitement, so engrossed in what you were looking at that you didn’t see where you were going.

“Oh, sorry!” you apologised as you bumped into a man, his hands scrambling to catch his camera before it could hit the pavement. “Sorry, I was distracted. Is your camera okay?”

The man had recovered it without incident and smiled as he held it up. “Mind if I check?”

“Check what?” you asked as he raised it to his eye, the lens pointed in your direction.

“If it still works. Smile!”

You laughed at the man’s confidence and you heard the shutter snap the photo before he looked at the display. “Wow, that’s perfect,” he praised, waving you over. “Come look.”

You stepped closer to the man, feeling a sense of recognition though you were certain you hadn’t met him before. He angled the camera so you could see what he had captured and your lips parted in surprise. You couldn’t understand how he had managed to take a simple photo but make it art.

The smile on your face was pure joy, and the lights behind you had distorted under the exposure and contrast to create a halo around your head.

“You look like an angel.”

“Oh my god,” you whispered in amazement, wishing you could have a copy for yourself.

“God?” he chuckled as he held a hand out. “Nah, you can just call me Daniel.”

You shook his hand with a laugh, feeling like it was a sound he was used to hearing from everyone he spoke to, and gave him your name in return.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Daniel started to say and you immediately began to shift uncomfortably on your feet, “but you’re beautiful, and it’s late, what are you doing out on your own?”

“Oh, I was out with my girlfriends and on my way home when I saw these and I kind of, had to, follow them…?” you trailed off and looked back at the dark path you had wandered down, less and less lights illuminating the way home. “I guess I should be going.”

Daniel followed your gaze to the darker end of the road and hated the thought of you walking it alone. Shoving his camera into his hoodie pocket, he offered his elbow. “Care for some company on this fine evening? My mother would throttle me if she knew I let a lady walk home alone at this hour.”

You chewed your lip as you debated his offer. “Are you a serial killer?”

“Only at breakfast.” You took a sudden step back and he screwed his eyes shut as he berated himself. “Sorry, sorry, terrible joke. Terrible timing. I meant Cereal Killer…because I eat cereal for breakfast…I’m sorry.”

“That is not funny,” you said despite laughing. “I watch way too many Netflix shows for that.”

His head tilted to the side and caught the colours of the leds around you as curiosity filled his playful smile. “Have you seen that Formula One show on there?”

Your nose wrinkled at the idea and shook your head. “Sports isn’t really my thing.” Trusting your gut that he was safe enough, you looped your arm in his and set off down the road.

“Then what is your thing?”

“Books,” you admitted, suddenly shy though you had no reason to be. “My friends actually refer to my apartment as ‘the library’. If I didn’t have to work to buy more books I don’t think anyone would see me again, I would just hole up and read.”

“There’s worse ways to spend your time,” he joked with a grin you were starting to think was perpetually painted on his face.

“Yeah, I could watch Formula one.” His smile faded and his laugh puttered out, making you instantly regret the joke. “I can hardly make fun of your thing when I’ve told you mine.”

“I don’t actually watch F1,” he admitted as he stopped walking and you turned to face him. “I’m too busy racing.”

“Racing what?”

He blinked a few times and his lip twitched with a smile when he realised you were genuinely confused. “I race cars…in F1…for McLaren.”

You waited for the punchline to come but for the first time since meeting him, he was serious. “Oh, oh! Okay…wow. I guess that’s why I felt like I recognised you, I must have seen you somewhere. God, I feel stupid.” You laughed to yourself and sighed, whispering under your breath, “you’ve been reading too much romance.”

“You’re not stupid,” Daniel said quietly. “I feel it too.”

Your laugh was an unladylike snort of disbelief. “Don’t be silly, you don’t even know me. You don’t even know my last name or what I do for work.”

“But I want to, if you’ll give me the time to learn. Not that it matters what your job is, you aren’t your work.”

“What if I’m an escort?”

“Are you an escort?”

“Would it matter?”

He was momentarily stunned and you saw him worrying his bottom lip and he thought of an appropriate answer.

“I’m not, but obviously it would matter,” you clarified as you turned and started your walk again. “I’m an admin assistant, not an escort, just so you know.”

“Not a librarian?”

You smiled as you tipped your head back to the starry night. “A girl can dream, but they aren’t positions that tend to come up very often. Even less with everything going digital.”

“You could open your own library, you already have the books apparently.”

You hadn’t realised how far you had walked until you stopped outside your apartment complex. It had been easy to get lost in the conversation with him and you almost continued walking just so the evening didn’t come to an end.

“Apparently?” you giggled as he opened the front door for you. “Do I have to prove it to you?”

He followed you to the elevator and leaned against the wall. “Is that you inviting me up?”

It was daring and absolutely unlike you but when you looked into his eyes you knew you wanted to see more of them so you found yourself asking, “Would you say yes?”

His smile grew as he reached for the elevator button in response and hit it.

Monday morning rolled around too soon and you struggled to pull yourself out of bed to get ready for work. Daniel’s back was to you as he hugged his pillow, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed, and you saw the slightly raised marks of your nails over his tan skin.

The weekend had been better than any of the fictional tales that filled the rooms in your house. You hadn’t even left the apartment, too engrossed in each other's company to face the outside world. But that would change as you climbed out of bed and started your usual Monday morning routine.

“Good morning, angel,” Daniel greeted sweetly as he snuck up behind you and kissed your cheek.

You held up the piece of toast you were eating and let him take a bite for himself. “Can I have your number?” he asked after finishing his mouthful and watching you dart around the small kitchen, packing a little lunch to take to work.

“For what?”

“So I can give it to telemarketers,” he joked as he caught you around the waist. “No, so I can call you.”

“This weekend has been…magical, but you’re a famous race car driver, and I’m, well, just me,” you said softly. “I’m under no illusion about how this ends, Daniel, we live in two different worlds.”

“That’s just a cop out,” he argued, picking up your phone and calling himself so he had your number. “I’m going to prove you wrong.”

Three Weeks Later “Daniel’s here to see you.” You looked up from your computer to double check Jess was talking to you and found her grinning like a fool. “I can’t believe he’s actually here.”

“Who?”

Jess reached for the half empty cup of coffee she had made you and sniffed it. “Did I give you decaf? Girl, wake up! You don’t keep a man like that waiting. The PA’s are already sniffing around him.”

Pushing your chair back, you rose at the threat of the PA’s who loved to dote upon any man who had a seven figure salary. Two of the glorified assistants longed to be on Love Island and their entire personality could fit in the extremely large breasts their ex-bosses had paid for - right before the sexual harassment charges were filed. Yeah, you weren’t going to leave Daniel to fend for himself.

Leaving the back offices, you followed the scent of knock-off Marc Jacobs to the reception area where Daniel smiled and joked with the small crowd surrounding him. You were once again struck by how different your lives were, his in the spotlight and yours anything but. It was only as you moved closer that you saw how the smile didn’t reach the creases around his eyes and heard the laugh that didn’t come from deep in his belly.

“Alright, ladies,” you interrupted the group with a wave of your hands, “thank you for keeping Daniel company, I’ll take it from here.”

A few overly keen females pouted as they stepped away and Daniel cast a grateful smile to you before pulling out the gift he had hidden behind his back. It took a second to realise why the bouquet of roses looked strange but then the confused frown was replaced with a smile as you accepted it. Every rose was made of origami, carefully folded and shaped into the blossom and you quickly recognised the lines of Pride and Prejudice, arguably the greatest romance novel of all time.

“What are you doing here?” you asked as you held the meaningful bouquet to your chest.

Daniel was all too aware of your curious co-workers still hanging around the area and dipped his head closer to yours. “There’s this angel I’ve been missing, and I just needed to see her again.”

The gesture, the words, it all made your heart skip a beat but you quashed the feelings that arose with it. “That is stalking.”

His laugh was genuine and your smile grew when you saw his reach his eyes as he corrected you, “That is romantic.”

“Thank you,” you whispered as you sniffed the paper roses. “Did you spray these with your cologne?”

“The book came from a secondhand store and it smelt like mothballs, which wasn’t the vibe I was going for. I think I smell better than mothballs.”

“Wait, you made these!” Surprise floored you as you looked at them with a new appreciation.

“With a little help and a lot of youtube,” he grinned proudly. “I would have come sooner but it took three weeks to make them all.”

The effort he made brought tears to your eyes and you hurried to blink them away. The man was absolutely relentless in his belief that the connection between you could become something more, but you still struggled to accept it. It wasn’t because you weren’t attracted to him, no that had been instant from the moment you met, you just didn’t understand how someone as famous as him could settle for someone as plain as you.

“Surely you have better things to do with your time,” you said after swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Than thinking of ways to win your heart? No way. So…can I please take you out on a date?”

Your eyes traced the roses, scanning the lines from the pages of one of your favourite books. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh. Daniel made you laugh, he could always make you laugh. The late night phone calls that interrupted your reading time replaced the silence in the apartment with the sound of your laughter. But would it be enough to close the distance between your worlds?

Your eyes followed another petal and felt it resonate within: Her heart did whisper that he had done it for her.

“One date,” you said as you tore your eyes away from the flowers that only seemed to call to you more, begging to find more sweet sentences among the folds. “And nowhere public. I want to actually be able to talk with you, not get swarmed by fans.”

“I can do that,” he said with a wide grin before kissing your cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He started to leave but he stopped as you softly called his name, looking over his shoulder from the doorway.

“Thank you for these, Daniel. No one’s ever done anything so sweet.”

“It’s just the beginning, angel,” he winked, disappearing out the door as you hid your face in the flowers that smelt just like him.

Crap, you sighed to yourself. He was worming his way into your heart, just like he planned.

#daniel ricciardo fanfic #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula one imagine #formula 1 fanfic #formula one fanfiction #f1 rpf

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lfghughes · 1 year ago

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Firecracker ft. Trevor

a/n: a cute little meet the family request I got. for all my angsty people though get ready because i have an angsty trevor coming up

“Are you nervous?” You asked and almost immediately Trevors attention snapped towards you. He was currently driving you both to your parents house where you would be spending the extended weekend with them and most of your family for a fourth of July get together. “No, I’m fine. Why?” Oh he was definitely nervous even if he wanted to play it off like he wasn’t. “You’ve been tapping your fingers on the wheel, you never do that.”

“It’s just a longer car drive than I’m used to.” This coming from the boy who spent a good chunk of his year on the road and in plane rides that were longer than this. But you weren’t going to push it and point that out. You knew that meeting your whole family for the first time was going to be nerve wracking even if he wanted to pretend like it wasn’t. Before you two came here he had confided in you that this was his first time really doing this with someone which was sweet in a way but your family especially the kids were going to give him a run for his money.

The minute you two walked through the front door it was pure chaos. All your little cousins were running around, chasing each other. The adults were all huddled in the kitchen getting some meal ready and immediately the room erupted with cheers when they finally noticed you two walking in amidst the chaos. “Oh here’s the boyfriend we’ve heard all about.” Your mom gushed as she walked over hugging Trevor right away. Good thing he was a people person because she has no concept of personal space.

You could tell that he was still nervous as he eased himself into conversation and a part of you wished he would just be more like himself because you knew he would fit right in. “Trevor, I watched some highlights of you on YouTube, you’ve got a hell of a shot.” Now it was your dads turn and you groaned at the slight embarrassment of knowing your dad Youtubed your boyfriend. Both of you helped out in the kitchen, helping get the food ready and as some time passed you could tell he was getting more and more comfortable with the conversations.

You had known your family would have liked him but you also had known that saying those words wouldn’t have done anything to ease his nerves because how often do people hear that? All throughout lunch he talked to your family from all different types of topics and even entertained your dads talk of his sudden knowledge of hockey. After you were all done eating your little cousins all surrounded him. “Wanna play with us? We set up field hockey outside.”

Of course he couldn’t say no and you watched from the deck as he played with the kids, making them laugh as he played with them. You were so focused on watching him and how great he was with the kids that you didn’t even notice your mom sliding up next to you. “He’s a good kid. Thought we would for sure scare him off on accident but he’s fitting right in.” She laughed and you nodded your head. “Trust me, he’s just as wild as all of you. I’m hoping those kids tire him out.” You teased.

Somehow they managed to play for a good chunk of the afternoon, only stopping for dinner before he then got roped into playing some other game with them. By the end of the night when you two had finally retired back to your room you couldn’t help but laugh at how exhausted he looked. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired not even after a game.” He laughed as he flopped down into the bed. “Well buckle up, Z. You got four more days of this.”

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras blurb #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine

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kiiwiigii · 1 year ago

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Night-Time Reading

Alec x Fem!Reader

Summary: You are having a rough day managing your POTS/CFS. All you want to do is relax and Alec is there to help.

Warnings:

Fluff! Nothing but tooth rotting fluff.

Word Count: 400+

Requested?: Yes!

So I'm going through a really rough time, I'm disabled (pots and CFS) and my cfs is acting up badly cause school started and I've been so busy I haven't had a break period, constantly walking and running and being busy. now I have a three day weekend so my body is letting myself feel the consequences of pushing myself too far, so I was wondering if I could suggest some comfort? Alec with a mate that either has cfs or just has some symptoms and just him keeping them as comfortable as possible while they're in pain Common symptoms (including the ones I'm going through) - joint pain (I can barely go up stairs and walk -extreme temp fluctuations (really hot to really cold quickly) -brain fog (brain is foggy. I'm too weak to open a bottle of coke so I left it open and while talking I tipped it over and forgot it was open) -migraines/headaches -sore throat -trembling -really tired but can't fall asleep and/or sleeps for a really long time Thank you for listening 🫶🏼 -🦊

A/N: Hey nonny! I am so, so sorry it has taken me this long to write this. Honestly, I was (and still am I suppose) intimidated to write this, simply because these illnesses are not something I am not even remotely familiar with. But I also want to thank you because it's a good writing exercise for me. I'm also sorry that you're having such a rough time. I can't even imagine. So here's a fic, just for you, darling. I hope you're feeling better.

Another A/N: So the wonderful and amazing @alecvolturi did an amazing edit of Alec reading the first bit of The Hobbit. Please give it a listen as you read. It's PERFECT.

Miserable.

I was fucking miserable.

It began just by sitting up. I could feel the migraine building, and I was already in the throws of a hot flash. It didn't help that the pain in my joints was flaring up again.

It was 3 a.m. and I was already this close to crying. I couldn't remember the last time that I had a proper nights sleep. I just wanted one day, one day where I didn't have to be in pain or worry that any movement I made would set off a whole other series of symptoms, all of which almost all of them were painful.

"Darling?" Alec was next to me, his cold hands running over my heated skin, trailing goosebumps behind in his wake.

His hands were a sweet, cool balm on my flushed skin. It gave me a little relief. I leaned into him, enjoying the cold. His lips pressed to my forehead.

"Scale of 1 to 10?"

"7 to 8." I mumbled.

One would think with how long that I've lived with this disease that I would have a high pain tolerance. That couldn't be further from the truth. I could already feel a few tears slipping from beneath my lashes. I just wanted something to make the pain go away.

I whined as Alec disappeared, only to reappear with my meds and a bottle of water a moment later.

"Here, drink." He handed me the pills and water, and I took them gratefully. He pulled the comforter from the floor where I had kicked it off, bundling it back up on the bed for us to lay down on. He then grabbed my phone, pulling up my favorite playlist, the one he made for me to help me calm down when I felt like shit. The music started flowing through the speaker near my bed at a low volume.

"What book, darling?" His eyes were already scanning my bookshelves.

"Uhm…" I blinked back at him slowly, trying to process what he said.

"How about The Hobbit?"

"Perfect." I rasped with a small smile.

He was next to me again in a flash, his back against the headboard as he pulled me gently to him, a pillow already ready in his lap.

"In the hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit." His voice lilted over me, and I felt myself begin to relax as his hands gently ran through my hair and along my neck.

The fine mist that signaled the use of his gift began to unfurl from his fingers and I felt myself begin to numb. The first time he had done this it had been disconcerting, but now I welcomed it with relish. A small reprieve from the pain. I smiled to myself, letting my eyes slip closed as I listened.

Then finally, sleep came for me.

{Masterlist} // {Request Guidelines}

Taglist: @alecvolturi @lack-lust-3r @rosedpetal

Wanna be notified when I post a new fic? Ask to join my taglist!

#alec volturi x reader #alec volturi #volturi #twilight #reader insert #fanfic #fanfic request

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animeomegas · 1 year ago

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I can't stop thinking about proposing to baxter auauauau. i absolutely love the idea of the MC slowly guiding baxter through the different pitstops in memory lane before leading up to the proposal and it makes it all the more intimate. I honestly love how their relationship or bond begun when the MC went to that soiree with their moms at the very beginning and where they also danced with baxter the first time and now, they're entering the next big step in their relationship with a dance (at their wedding). But i also wanna talk about the process of baxter planning the wedding. we all know he puts pressure on himself to be perfect and ik that he'd also be pressured to make the wedding as perfect as possible bc of his fear of disappointment. and im imagining a scenario where the MC just holds him in bed, arms wrapped around his waist and head buried in his neck just so that they could stop him from organizing more stuff for their wedding. also, do you think he'd be the type to arrange Pinterest boards and show it to you for approval? asdfghfjs he's so adorable im sorry for the ramble

Yessss, Baxter deserves to be wined and dined and forced down memory lane on his proposal day hehe.

Although, I have to admit that I'd definitely consider going back to that cabin for a long weekend to propose. I'd probably do it by the fireplace really late at night, devoid of guests. I'd lowkey request the staff don't linger behind the reception just for the ten minutes of the proposal, because firstly it would be awkward, and secondly, I would hope a manager would hear and give a complimentary dessert :D I'm a massive sap so I'd probably try to get one of the same rooms, even if they all look the same.

I think you're very right that he'd over focus on MC's wishes for the wedding, although I think Baxter has a long list of (primarily tacky) things he hates at weddings so if MC hit one of those, he'd probably make a face before he could stop himself XD

I don't think he's a Pinterest board person, no. I think he would see no merit in finding ideas from Pinterest if he can't find a way to make it happen in reality. Therefore, he has a bookmark folder of folders, filled with links to local services or tutorials on wedding stuff. He values the practicality as much as the vibes.

I think he's very familiar with Pinterest though, I'm sure more than one of the couples he's planned for had one. I used to work primarily at weddings too, and let me tell you, almost every single couple would say "we want something a little different" and the 'something different' was something they got off of Pinterest, a.k.a. something everyone else had seen. This led to hundreds of almost identical weddings... I'm sure if Baxter is anything like me, he's sick of Pinterest wedding ideas XD

This was a very cute ask, anon, thank you for sending it and feel free to ramble in my inbox anytime you'd like! <3

#baxter #baxter ward #our life #hc #headcanons

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fredrick-lane · 5 months ago

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I love you//this is only part one, part two coming soon.

Mabel and dipper are sitting in the living room when Wendy comes in, taking a seat next to Mabel, taking a break from work."Hey guys, what's going on?" Wendy questioned. "Nothing much, just chilling." dipper sighed, trying to push the memory of his embarrassing past crush on Wendy. As he flushed red thinking about one of the most embarrassing things of last summer. "Woah, woah, woah, you don't like, have another crush on me do you?" She said nearly snickering under her breath. "Eww, no, what? Why the hell would you think that?" Dipper blurted. "SHUT UUUUUUPPPPPP" Mabel screeched breaking up the conversation going on between the now quiet teens inches away from where her own person lays on a pillow on the carpeted floor. "No, I do not have a crush on you, it's...someone else" He murmured, hoping the girls wouldn't hear, but to his horror they heard.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHO IS IT, ARE THEY CUTE? ARE THEY NICE? DO I KNOW THEM? ARE Y-" Thankfully Mabel was cut off. "MABEL SHUT IT, Your gonna give him a concussion." She said before getting up and lending dipper a hand up. "Come on, let's talk in private." As the two led into the woods to a log by the cliff. "So? Who is it? i'm very curious to see who managed to steal your heart." Blushing and debating over if he should do this, he finally gave in. "Promise you won't get mad, it might or might not, MAYBE, possibly be, Robbie Valentino..." He said lowering his voice at the last part, hoping she didn't hear. "ROBBIE?!?!?!?! HOW? WHY? YOU LIKE EMO BOYS?" She cheered, somehow making him sink against the tree trunk he was once sitting on.

With his hands ever his red, freckled face, Wendy stopped giggling and fell down by his side. "Okay, im sorry for laughing at you, but it just, shocked me...do you want to go see him?" She offered, trying to make up for the recent mocking. "NO! WE CANT JUST DO THAT, WHAT ARE WE GONNA TELL HIM WHEN WE SHOW UP?!?!?!?!" Dipper exclaimed. "I left my bag at his house anyway, so I do need to go over there to get it back." Wendy reassured him. "Well...okay I guess, just don't say ANYTHING about my...condition..." dipper murmured "Condition? What are you talking about, having a crush is fine, and I'm pretty sure he likes you too, dipper" with hearing the end of this sentence, dipper flushed redder then before. "W-what? Why would you say that? No he doesn't." Dipper said, stuttering and tripping over his own words.

"Yes he does, he's told me." She interrupted. " Really...? Me? Why me?" Dipper hissed. " Because, he knows who he can befriend and maybe, you guys can be together one day." Wendy said before lifting herself up off the hard forest ground, signaling dipper to come woth her. As the two made their way over to robbie house, dipper had felt a knot form in his stomach. Later when they arrived at his house, Wendy knocked on the door, signaling her request for entry.

"Hello Wendy, how have you been?" Mrs.Valentino sang while opening the door. " I've been great, is robbie here?" Wendy replied. " He's up in his room, you kids can go on up there." The funeral director said calmly. As they made their way upstairs, dipper stopped in his tracks, scared he will do something wrong. "Dipper? Why'd you stop?" Wendy questioned him raising an eyebrow. " Wendy, I can't do this, what if I make a fool of myself?" Dipper cried. " You won't, and before you say anything, I won't let you, ya'll are equally awkward towards each other. So let me help you two." She promised him.

As robbie let the two in, forgetting to put a shirt on, causing dipper to turn redder then he already was. Robbie tried to invite him to come hangout. "So, Dipper, if you want to come hang out with us, you can bring Mabel this weekend, and we're going to just, walk around, maybe go to sharp things, and go to a Cafe. " Robbie explained, blushing over his normal pale appearance, shading his face a lighter color compared to dippers, as the two talked and laughed, Wendy saw all of it, smirking and snickering at their obvious shared crush on one another. "Ohhhh~So you DONT need my help, huh dipper~" Wendy teased, causing dipper to grow even more red, as robbie watched them argue, he heard the word 'crush' which made dipper hide his face in his palms.

"Wait, what about a crush?" Robbie asked. "NOTHING! I-its nothing, d-don't worry about it..." dipper blurted, causing robbie to slightly flinch, he wasn't normally this loud from what he knew.

SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT, this is only part 1, and I will be making more but it might take a while.

#diprob #robbie valentino #wendy corduroy #dipper and mabel #robbie and dipper

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miamochi-writes · 1 year ago

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Why I Took Long

Hi everyone! It’s been weeks since I last updated. There’s many reasons as to why I was radio silent. For those who want the spark notes: My job started laying off people, my car was out of commission for months, dealing with a micromanager who kept watching my every move, and caught a horrible cold for a week.

For the detailed version:

After my deadline passed, I was ready to start posting requests and one shots again. Before I could do that, I got the news that my once stable job was now on the line after everyone got the news the CEO was doing layoffs. The company I worked for started laying off higher management positions and teams. This scared me so bad, that after the news was announced, my boss was monitoring me 24/7 and became a micromanager. He would monitor every email, message, and site I visited. If I didn’t give him an hour update on what I was doing, he would dock me for my performance review, which put my job at risk.

I couldn’t even focus on writing or editing the Vash requests from how much stress I accumulated at work. After a month of this new work adjustment, I was doing errands when all of a sudden my car stopped working. I was stranded for hours just trying to get my car to work. It wasn’t until after getting my car towed and having a mechanic look at it to see that my car had a recall for a faulty part. Turns out the part I needed would take months to arrive as it was on backorder. So I couldn’t really go out as much as I wanted to and had to ask people for rides just to keep my job. My mental health was at an all time low, and I finally made the decision to start job hunting. I couldn’t take it anymore after endless days and nights of crying and trying to cope with the stress from everything happening.

Lastly, I got horribly sick to where I had a constant fever and had to go to the doctor for awhile. I was so dehydrated and stressed that my immune system hit a new low. But after weeks of monitoring and getting much needed rest, I’m finally better.

I wanted to post sooner about how I was doing and where I was, but my mental health wasn’t the best yet until I took a much needed vacation traveling out of state. I hadn’t really taken vacations at work and I usually worked on my birthdays, so I finally used a week’s work of my PTO to travel and finally put myself in a better position to come back here.

If you read this far, thanks for reading. I know it’s been awhile, but I do plan to be back here and post things again. I only ask that if you are all okay with me not having a consistent posting schedule. I feel like I don’t have the right to ask after everything that’s happened, but I will post when I can. Hopefully I can one day get back into posting consistently, but for now I’ll try to post when I’m able to.

Again, thank you for being patient with me if you’re still sticking around and checking my blog. I missed posting and talking to everyone here ❤️

As for the picture I posted earlier, I met Vash’s VA! My local figurine store was able to invite Johnny Yong Bosch for the weekend and I was able to get a ticket to meet him! He is the most humble and down-to-Earth person I ever met who loves his characters. When I asked him about Trigun, he asked me if I liked the new one and told him of course I liked it! He said he was nervous about how people would receive it since it’s not exactly like the old one. But I told him so many people I know love the new Trigun and that it made him very happy to hear. He said he hopes everyone looks forward to the next season ❤️

#miamochi rambles #update #long post

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missdeerlady · 18 days ago

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This is a pt. 2 of Vil ask Charlotte to come and help him and his potatos with dance Practice for the Song & Dance Championship. This her and her duo arriving to Night Raven College.

“Yes Father we are in the car now” Charlotte spoke on the phone. It was the first time the tro have visited Sage Island, and excitement and wonder filled there eyes. Trinity kept pointing out every little thing of the town “giving” her knowledge about the town, while Flora just looks at everything in awe.

“You also didn’t have to arrange our transportation too, Vil said he would have made accommodation”

“I want to make sure you and your friends make it there safely” her father spoke in the phone “I still don’t feel comfortable having to send you to an all boy school.”

“Which is why Sovin is with us, at your request”

Sovin chuckled at the driver seat. Even if it was a request or not he would have company Charlotte and her friends anywhere. He maybe the Duke wisest and long term friends, but he is also his head of security. There is no other person for the job.

“And you sure Mr. Schoenheit could not arrange something outside the school?”

“He want to keep in at the school because in his words. He doesn’t want to disrupt the environment and ruin the team building they are doing.” She can feel her father disapproval stare coming threw the phone “Father it will be okay, his headmage aware of our arrival, we will be with Vil and his team only, and we won’t be out of Sovin sight. As future Duchess I must offer a helping hand no matter how small the task is, right?”

He sighed if defeat “of course, just do not stay there long and I expect your arrival back tonight for your weekend visit.”

“Yes father.”

“I will let you go, please be careful. I love you “

“I love you to Father, I will see you later tonight” she hung up her phone and gave a sigh.

“You left one detail out “ Trinity teased “You did not let him know that Vil will not be the one meeting us at the entrance of the school”

Charlotte shush her looking to see if Sovin heard. From her view all he was doing was paying attention to the road. “Quiet Sovin doesn’t know that either.”

“Who is suppose to meet with us?” Flora whispered

“He said his manager, which I find weird he needs a manager for a contest”

“Maybe it for some campaign is doing for something he getting sponsored with” Trinity tried to whisper

Charlotte shrugged “I don’t know, but what I do know is you need be on your best behavior.”

“What?? I am always on my best behavior” Trinity sarcastically reassured only earning a giggle from her friends.

“Did he say what his manger looked like?” Flora ask.

“He said it will be a frumpy potato with a ill manner cat”

“I hope they are not mean” Flora said and she hid her face behind her tail. Charlotte pat her shoulders to reassure her friend.

The drive up the mountain took a little longer then they thought. She looked through the window taking in all the scenery. The woods nestled at the bottom of the mountain. With the trees all clustered together you couldn’t really see much of forest at all. She also is thankful that her father provided the appropriate care for this travel because the roads started to become bumpy a little the feather they went up. Night Raven College started to make it view from over the mountain’s road. The girls looked in awe for how big the school is. From the town you could not really make hour how big the schools is. Sovin pulled up next to the gate’s entrance, and scanned the areas before turning the car off.

“I do not see Mr. Schoenheit your grace”

“Yeah, I do not see anyone near the entrance” Charlotte looked out the window and didn’t see anyone that could be a manager

Trinity unbuckled the seatbelt, and gathered her bag to leave. “Well let get going”

Sovin tired to say something, but the girls had already gathered there things and already leaving of the car. Sighing in defeat he quickly got out of the car. All three of them marveled at the sight of the school. Charlotte as only hear of Night Raven from her fellow classmates from school, and now she can understand what they are talking about. They all walked down the main path with Sovin behind them. There eyes drifting to everyone around them. Charlotte became more perceptive with everyone that passed by look for this manager with a cat.

“I don’t see the bossy boy” Trinity commented

“Or his manager” Flora added

They kept waking down the Main Street and down some stairs pass the clock tower. Sovin notice what look like a shop in the far distance. “Maybe we can ask for help in there” Flora ask Sovin.

“Perhaps just stay close by, and do not touch anything”

They reach the odd looking. It looked almost like a home on the outside. The only thing that sticks out as a shop that says ‘Mister S’s Mystery Shop.’ Sovin open the door with the jiggle of the door and ushered the girls inside. Then inside wasn’t as odd as the outside. It was a mixture of a shop, and someone personal collection. While her friend’s eyes kept wondering around, Charlotte eyes landed on the only person in the shop as his attention was drawn to the sound if the door opening. A beastman dressed in the night raven uniform with the chest and yellowish orange ribbon on his arm. His gold eyes staring straight back everyone that has entered.

“Excuse me young man, is the owner of the shop in today?” Sovin ask

“ Um yeah he just in the back” he responded a bit coldly

Sovin nodded as he approached the counter standing a good distance from the student. Charlotte and Flora fallowed behind while Trinity looked around the shop. Charlotte kept close to Sovin like a chick flowing it mother, looking at the student as he gaze turned away from them. She noticed in the in front of him on the counter sat a small cactus plant.

“A powder puff?” She asked nervously

The student gazes turn back to Charlotte with a confused look. Charlotte blushed a little and tried to calm her nervousness. Flora hold on to her arm feeling anxious at the students gaze.

“Your plant it’s a powder puff cactus, right?”

“Yes”

“You are on the verge of overwatering it” she stated and he looked more confused “The flower in them look a little wilty, from too much watcher. Cactus can survive a long time without water, and if you overwater them too much then it can do more harm than good. I would recommend only water it once a month. But you can spray the flower with water from a water bottle if they look like they are lacking water. With powder puff you have to be careful with stuff like that “

The student look at his plant, and picked it up to exam it. Charlotte felt a little unease and looked down at her feet. Worried that she may have offended him, and have already caused trouble on their first visit. He placed the plant back down and turn toward Charlotte.

“I did not know that with this type of cactus. Thank you for informing me” he nodded with his response.

Charlotte sighed in relief looking back at him and give him a smile back. She turned to her friend and gave her a reassuring smile. The student notice the bag that she carried. One of her ballet slippers sticking out. “Are you here to help train the S&D group that Vil put together?”

Charlotte looked back him with a confused look. “Are you a part of the group?”

“No, but a few of my fellow classmates are. One did mention the Vil was bring in outside help.”

“Yes, we were suppose to Mr. Schoenheit, or this manager at the gate, but they never seem to show” Sovin responded. The two girls blushed knowing that their secret conversations has been overheard. “You won’t happen to know where he is young man?”

“I think they are training in the pomefiore dorms” the student scratched the back of his head. “I think they have a dance room there”

“Do you mind escorting use to the right direction?” Sovin ask

“Ummm I-“

“Grimm, come on! We are already running late!”

“Nyah but I need a snack, I am still hungry from breakfast.”

Everyone turned to the noice and they see another student walk in with a cat companion rushing in and making a bee like to the snacks. The other student notice everyone was staring at them. “Hmmm hello” the nervous waved.

“I think that fit the description you where given Miss Evergreen”

Charlotte nodded “Excuse me, are you Vil manager?”

They laughed “I mean that the title they gave me right now, but my name is Yuu. You are Charlotte?”

She nodded and both shake hands in greeting. Relived to know that this manager is just a fellow student. Charlotte turned back to the other student. He was reserved a bag from a man dressed in vintage clothes that match a spooky vibe. This as to be the owner Charlotte thought. He matches the vibe of the building.

“Here you go little imp, hopefully this satisfies Ruggie just got these in fresh today” the owner cheerfully said.

“Thank you Sam” he handed him money. He grabs the bag and looks back to Charlotte.

“It was a pleasure to meet you sorry to bother you” Charlotte curtsy to him.

“It okay, luckily Yuu found you. It was nice to meet you too Charlotte”

Sovin look taken aback from how formal this student is being with the duchess. Charlotte lightly giggled at this sight. The student excuses himself walking passes everyone. His and Charlotte’s eyes lingering a bit longer to each other before he walked out the store. Yuu walked over to Charlotte with a sheepish look.

“Sorry for being late, Grim tend to have a one track mind when it comes to food” they apologize

“It quite alright, I am glad we found each other now” she reassured. “Ummm may I ask, who was I speaking to?”

“Oh the is Jack Howl. He is a good guy, but he can be a little distance and cold.

Flora shuddered at that statement, but Charlotte seem confused at that statement.

“He didn’t seem distance when we spoke to him” Charlotte mentioned “But I don’t want to make everyone shell we be on our leave”

“Right let head ba-“

“What!” Trinity yelled with a bundle of snacks in her arms. Grim with the fallowing suit standing next to her “Can’t go in a empty stomach”

Sovin and Yuu sighs at the sight, and the owner named Sam chuckled. Charlotte giggled and she shacks her head. She couldn’t helped but turn her gaze to the door. Jack Howl, remembering that name. Possibly hoping to speak with him again.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #charlotte evergreen #trinity thornton #flora alexander #jack howl #twst jack #twst grim #twst yuu #twst sam #twst fanfic

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nohoperadio · 7 months ago

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First off sincere thanks to those who acknowledged this cry for help, you are lovely. So the thing this was about was my performance review at work, specifically preparing the paperwork aspect of it (hey man I told you it was boring), which is not a popular chore among anyone at my workplace but which always puts me in a very particular hell that I summarized at tedious length a while ago here. My paperwork was due in on the 8th of May (the review itself being set for May 15th); the reason I was putting so much stock in that particular weekend above is because I knew it was my last substantial obligation-free block of free time before the 8th where I could realistically expect myself to knuckle down and do the work (I hadn't started yet literally at all).

You might be able to guess, from the fact I'm writing this update today and not within any temporal proximity to either the weekend in question or the May 8th deadline, that things did not go entirely to plan. In light of which, while I was and am sincerely touched and appreciative and grateful to everyone who interacted with the OP, I can't realistically give any of you a passing grade wrt positive-energy-conveyance, I'm sure you understand. Please don't feel bad, I know you all did your best, and I accept my 50% of the responsibility for my failure, we all kind of dropped the ball here, you know? Let's put it behind us now and simply agree that the next time I have a daunting personal challenge that I alone can overcome, we'll all try a little bit harder to make it work out well for me.

Anyway, it's over now, everything was eventually fine, what I'm probably going to do now is step into this read-more and ramble on about it for a bit, since it's been the dominant theme of my mental and emotional life for the past few weeks I feel like some psychic unloading could do me good. Feel free to join me if you've somehow become invested in my story, or if you've got nothing better to do, or if you're some kind of pervert who enjoys hearing people talk about their lives and their feelings and shit.

---

Let's start with the bare facts of the narrative I guess. As far as I remember I wrote literally no words on the weekend of May 3rd-5th, although I had it in my mind for every waking minute that I really need to be writing something. So I finished the weekend where I'd really hoped to have most or all of it completed sitting on 0% completion. Now my only real hope for finishing on time is Monday and Tuesday evenings after work, when I'll be tired and stuff, not ideal but I guess I have no choice. On Monday and Tuesday I get no work done. Wednesday 8th, the deadline, passes, I have not started writing anything yet--well okay, but missing the deadline somewhat won't be treated as a huge deal by my managers as long as they get it at least a couple of days before the review proper on the 15th. And I have Thursday 9th as a day off, so actually there's still time to pull this off after all! On Thursday 9th I don't do any work on the review, although I do manage to write an angsty tumblr post about how much I hate myself for not doing any work on the review, so maybe that kind of counts as progress? On Friday I do nothing. I'm working the weekend, on Saturday I do actually request a couple of hours of during-work time to work on the review even though I hate doing that, I spend the time making some hand-written notes which later that evening at home I type into the actual paperwork form, it's not much but it's a decent start. Sunday and Monday I do nothing.

Tuesday is the last day before the review, and also another day off. I do nothing all day, but this time giving up is literally not an option; it becomes obvious, around midnight, that I'm going to have to just cancel sleep entirely and work through the night. I drink many cups of tea. Time to get serious.

According to Google Drive edit history I make the first substantive additions to the document at 6:19AM, is the bad news. The good news is that once I've properly started I manage to find the rhythm of it pretty quickly and manage to work pretty solidly through the next three hours with very few interruptions. By just after 9AM (I don't start work until 10) I have the finished product, a couple pages are pretty lackluster but basically the end result is fine, this is a perfectly serviceable review paperwork, it doesn't particularly look rushed or anything. If I'd have been able to find this mindspace at any point in the past month, and stayed in it for 160 minutes or so, there would have been no drama at all. I email it to my manager with a brief apology, I have just barely enough time now to brush my teeth and shave (no time to shower though) and then run to catch the train in time to get to work. The in-person performance review itself--is fine and chill, whatever, I don't care about that part, it's only the paperwork I hate. And now it's all over with until next year.

(I'm sorry to report that while my second year of doing this thing was (while terrible) a modest improvement on my first year re: punctuality, this my third year has been the worst of them all.)

Now we have the bare facts of the narrative, it's time for some sober and constructive analysis of some of the emotions that came up during this whole palaver.

---

Oh my FUCKing jesus HOW does this WRECK me so hard every single year gODD, it's literally just writing some shitty garbage in some shitty boxes, no, no, ahh! It's not even hard and it's not even a lot, once I actually eventually do it I immediately remember how easy it is, why does it feel so much easier to sit around feeling like a piece of shit doing nothing for literal weeks, burning sleep time and fun-stuff time so I can focus on this one thing and then still not even doing it even a tiny little bit, why is that even a module my brain has let alone one it executes reliably every time I'm in this situation, what the FUCK.

This is my third year at the company so my third time doing this, I love my work 90% of the time but for each of these three years the month leading up to performance review has been the worst thing that happened to me that year and it hasn't been remotely close. And I'd like to point out that last year I ended a five-year relationship and that does not affect the truth of the previous sentence at all--fine admittedly it was an uncommonly amicable and positive-feeling break-up, but it was still stressful and hard and emotional and I had to find a whole-ass new place to live by myself and I wasn't sure if I was going to be too poor to support myself and this paperwork was worse, it was way worse. Maybe that's dumb but lots of dumb shit is true and that's true.

---

A big part of why I hate this is--well I'll give you some examples: according to Strava I haven't gone for a run in two and a half weeks. Normally I would run 3-4 times a week. I've barely read anything during the same period, whether we're counting actual books or like Wikipedia articles or whatever. I haven't touched the new mtg set that came out like a month ago now. I haven't gone to any gigs or anything of that ilk. I haven't written in my diary, which I'd kept up daily with almost no misses for since January until now and was really pleased about building that habit. I have next week off work which I've been meaning to finalize some plans about but I still haven't.

Basically for as long as I have this thing hanging over me, this thing I find inexplicably impossible to do, I will also find it almost as impossible to do anything else that will take a non-trivial amount of time or effort, because that's time and effort that could be going to the important thing so what kind of fool would I be to waste it on [anything positive or nice]? No, the task is the only thing I'm allowed to think about in the weeks leading up to the deadline, even if I'm not allowed to actually do it.

(This is clearly a part of why my undergrad days were such a low-point in my life btw, spending three whole years in nonstop there's-a-deadline-coming-up mode, and I had the exact same complex around it back then as I do now--I'm honestly not sure how I survived that! I mean I almost didn't I guess, is the answer. Although this wasn't even the worst thing at the time, the worst part was [tedious shit for another post]... man I'm glad I'm not young any more that shit sucked!

---

It's so weird staying awake for like 38 hours straight on purpose. I didn't really feel tired during the day, just kind of, slightly drunk? I was in a good mood most of the day, more confident and talkative than usual, noticeably dumber and slower though. It's pretty much exactly like being drunk.

---

Here's something positive I can talk about. Although the writing of the paperwork went horribly overall, I did make the very important discovery that there's a hidden easy mode in this: ChatGPT is VERY useful here, and given the intensity of the fucked up headspace I found myself in this year I'm genuinely not sure I would've finished at all without its help (thank you based @toasthaste!). Here is a breakdown of my cheating strat for whoever cares: basically the paperwork is seven pages that each cover a different area of work and have headings that look like this:

Under the first heading you're supposed to list good stuff you did, under the next two you're supposed to describe how that stuff impacted the success of the shop and something you learned from it. ChatGPT can't really help with the first column of this because it doesn't really make sense to try to have it fabricate things I might have done at work, but the first column tends to be the easiest because it's the most objective and concrete, you don't need to bullshit as much as the other two just describe things that happened in a neutral way, the other two involve 95% bullshit and are really painful and draining and embarrassing for me to write.

So basically what I ended up doing was just filling out the leftmost-third of every page legitimately and then once I'd explained to ChatGPT how everything works I could just feed it "behaviours" and request corresponding "impacts" and "learnings" and it would be shockingly good at providing these; like, I initially expected that any material I get from ChatGPT would be kinda clunky an require heavy editing and I wasn't sure it would save much time and energy; actually the AI immediately grasped the spirit of the task very well, and I mostly just changed a few words here and there to make it read more naturally/plausibly like my voice. Only a couple of times did I have to do more than that.

I genuinely think if I'd known how much less stressful the task is with these hax then I might have been able to stay calm enough to approach it, if not in good time at least a lot sooner. I mean it's easy to say stuff like that when you're not in it anymore, but I think I genuinely do think so? Guess we'll find out next year.

---

Yeah it's really an extraordinary feeling when after weeks of my brain being in a cold war against itself the task actually somehow miraculously gets completed and I'm allowed to be alive again. Suddenly life is full of possibility, the feeling of being free to do whatever I want without having to pay a toll in guilt feels like the freshest cleanest oxygen, it doesn't even feel necessary to exercise this freedom to feel its sweetness, I could do this or I could do that or I could do nothing, but such a different nothing to the nothing I've been doing these past weeks! I exist and the whole world exists and we're all going to live forever and do beautiful things and there won't be room for anything except light and love and truth and power and beauty. This isn't going to last, I know that I'm not an idiot.

---

I'm going to see the Mountain Goats next week, that should be nice.

There's something I really gotta do but really don't wanna do but gotta do and which I really oughta do this weekend. I really hope I have the power and the virtue within me to do it this weekend. No pressure, but if anyone who reads this wants to leave whatever small gesture of good luck/positive energy/etc comes naturally to them, I would sincerely be grateful.

I'm deliberately not saying what the thing is right now for silly superstitious reasons, although rest assured it's extremely boring (perhaps more boring than you can possibly imagine). But I will give an update at the appropriate time (which won't be during the weekend probably) reporting whatever level of success, or lack thereof, I attain. So you will eventually find out whether your good luck energy was helpful or whether it was USELESS.

#uninteresting #<- if tumblr let you tag posts with the same tag twice I would add a few more of these #selfposting #correspondence #workposting

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sionisjaune · 2 years ago

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journalist lewis au (seb/lewis)

There's a new journalist in the press room. He raises his pen elegantly and waits for Tom Clarkson to call on him, and when it's his turn to speak, he announces his name but not who he's working for.

"For Sebastian," he says. "Are you aware that a one hour trip in a private jet accounts for two tonnes of carbon dioxide emissions? That's anywhere from five to fourteen times more pollution per passenger than flying commercial."

Seb is comfortable behind the drivers' podium, half-drunk on champagne and victory. He leans into the microphone.

"Ah, but you haven't seen my jet," he says. "There is free alcohol and if you ask nicely a very comfortable bed in the back."

"What's free if the cost is the air our children breathe?" the journalist says.

Seb fiddles with the damp collar of his racesuit. His skin is sticky underneath. He says, "I don't have children. Still in free practice." Everyone laughs.

"Who was that guy?" Seb jokes with Britta over dinner, a platter of pasta between them and the remains of a charcuterie board strewn to the side. He had a funny look--a torn-up denim jacket and a thick diamond stud in each ear, shoes that belong on a basketball court rather than the bland carpet in the press room.

Later, nearly passed out in his hotel room, Seb receives a link to a Wikipedia article from Britta.

Lewis Hamilton, twenty-six and hailing from Stevenage, a town Seb has never heard of, is a Pulitzer winning journalist.

Seb almost laughs, between the white walls of his hotel room. Journalism must really be dead if Hamilton is slumming it trackside. You can sell silly season rumours for petty cash, but there's nothing to bust wide open. If Hamilton is chasing a prize-winning story, he won't find it at a Grand Prix.

The next race, Hamilton is absent. Seb inquires about it later, and nobody knows because nobody cares. He takes the question to Britta, and she uses her superior intellect to furnish Seb with an answer. Lewis Hamilton has been banned from all Formula 1 media activities because he asks impertinent questions.

Hey. I got your number from a source I'd rather not reveal, but I was hoping you could help me get into the press conference Thursday.

A text from an unknown number floats to the top of Seb's notifications.

It's Lewis Hamilton by the way.

Seb texts back. Britta's going to have his balls.

I'll see what I can do.

It's years later. Domenicali hates Lewis, but Seb sneaks him into the paddock every weekend. Lewis wanders between the garages taking down names and politely requesting interviews.

Lewis is a deceptively vicious reporter. There's no off the record with him—his mind is a tape recorder, and he never forgets an incriminating detail.

Seb knows he’s working on something big. It’s terrifying.

They're in Seb's room, a glittery suite that overlooks the Marina Bay Ferris wheel, and Seb has to ask. He has to, because Lewis won't say anything, but he's been intimating that he has the kind of story that could raze the earth and topple grand, old institutions.

"If you love racing," Seb says, "then why do you attack it?" He doesn't say: I would give this rotten sport anything, no matter how morally compromising. He doesn't say: This is my life.

"Look at me," Lewis says. Seb does. Lewis is sitting on the edge of Seb's bed, and gentle, spidery crow's feet sprout from the corners of his eyes. "Do you think I ever had a shot to make it here? Did you know I was the fastest kid by a tenth at any track, and there wasn't a single manager who ever spoke to me and my dad?"

"It's hard," Seb says. "For myself, it was hard. If Michael hadn't championed me--"

"No," Lewis says, firmly. "I need you to understand that there wasn't a chance. Not for me, and not for the other kids like me, watching Senna race on TV and desperately wanting to be him. I'm doing this for those kids, Seb. You ever wonder why half the guys on the grid are so fucking accident-prone? It's because talent is only half of it. It's money and politics and brand recognition." Lewis is breathing hard. Seb drinks in the fervour bubbling out of Lewis like he's starving for it. "I'm going to tear this whole thing down and plaster the truth on every cover in New York."

Seb can't take it anymore. His body falls towards Lewis, and the kiss is messy, unplanned and unanticipated. Lewis pulls back wetly.

"That was inappropriate," Lewis says. He slides off the bed and collects his coat from the back of the chair. The braids that Lewis habitually tucks behind his ears have fallen forwards over his cheeks. He tucks them neatly again, and his hand hovers over the door handle.

"I thought you respected me more than that," Lewis says, all clipped English syllables. "Call my assistant if you have something I can use."

#sewis #i wrote this #straight outta the notes app😎😎

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fangirlandtheories · 2 years ago

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as a steve lover my body vibrates at the thought of someone like eddie just smothering him in love and appreciation and touching on him sweetly BC HE DESERVES IT EVERY TIME. SO when you write this or give us fics like this i get so happy i feel like ill explode.

Omfg Anon, get ready to eat. This request took over my soul and left it on autopilot. It's honestly not even a request but I took it as one anyway. Thank you for your love and support, it means everything to me. I really hope you love this as much as I do. Here is a link or you can read below!

***

“-A high of 64 tomorrow, but watch out for this weekend because it’s looking like it’s gonna-” The news anchor was cut off by the high pitched sound of static as the tv turned off, not that Steve had been paying any mind to what the weatherman had been saying anyways. He was in one of his ‘weird moods’ again. The kind where the quiet of his house overwhelmed him, sleep escaped him, and conversation exhausted him.

The sun shined outside, but it was a gray day. Not the sky, the sky was blue, but the air in his house, his tomb on bad days, was thick with smog. It was a random Thursday in October, nothing noteworthy about it, but it also marked 4 months and 13 days since he’d seen his parents, not that anyone was counting. He tried counting once, when he was a lot younger and much more desperate, he made it to 43 days before he gave up, feeling a bit too much like a prisoner counting the days in a life sentence. He didn’t know if he feared the corrupt guards that would beat him into submission or the loneliness more.

Michael and Janet Harrington weren’t really physical, not anymore at least. They preferred to barb their words of affection with the sting of hatred, but they hadn’t laid a finger on him since he was little, before he knew better. He knew the gray would give way to a pit of darkness, what with the way his mind was moving, wishing for those sharp smacks and subtle shoves because at least he could feel it.

Maybe he was just tired.

It felt like he was always a little tired nowadays. He wished more than anything that he could just get a fucking grip. Poor little Steve, who never got hugs from his parents between the lavish gifts and large allowance. Some people had real struggles.

His mind always supplied him with the pale face of Will Byers. Eyes surrounded with dark shadows, a kind kid that always feared violence because he’s seen it at such a young age from Lonnie. He saw Max and Billy who lived in constant fear, both of each other, but also of Neil. He caught himself imagining a young Eleven on many occasions, head shaved in a military lab with nothing but a number to differentiate her from the kid in the next white room. Hell, he sometimes even thought about Sarah Hopper. He’d never met her, of course, but he could imagine what a tough little girl she’d been. He wasn’t a parent, but knowing the kids the way he knew them, he couldn’t fathom how Hopper could even breathe every day, knowing what he’d lost.

So, yeah, maybe his skin was crawling with an itch he couldn’t quite reach, but he had no right to complain.

***

“Sunny and breezy today, but the weekend doesn’t bode well. If you track th-”

“Why the hell do you look like that?” Robin mused as she changed the channel on the store tv.

“I somehow overslept and underslept.” Steve grumbled, running his hands through his disheveled locks of hair. They weren’t falling right and with the state of his mind, they were working their way to being the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Days like this make me miss the hats from Scoops.”

“How do you even manage that, oversleeping and undersleeping?” She gave him a confused look while scanning through the shelves, looking for their morning movie.

“Didn’t fall asleep until like 6 this morning, and then I slept through my 7:30 alarm.” He sighed. “Absolutely not.” He shot down Little Shop of Horrors, a bit too early for Rick Moranis.

“Did you have breakfast? You seem like you’re hungry grumpy.” Robin jumped beside him with a squeak. God he’d love some of her energy. “Soon you’ll be saying ‘Feed me Seymour!’” She grinned as she popped the movie in the VCR.

“No, but I’m fine with just coffee.” He nodded towards his mug as he opened the binder of check out logs, flipping through the pages for the correct date.

“Are you…” She frowned as glanced at his cup, chipped handle and all. “...Feeling okay? You seem different today, very glum.”

“I’m fine, Robbie, you are just nosy and thinking too much about things that don’t exist.” Steve stuck his tongue out at her.

“True, but I don’t buy it.” She poked his cheek, sending a sharp spike of anxiety through him. If she noticed the subtle side step, she didn’t mention it. “You’re definitely glum.”

“I’m not fucking glum.” He laughed, spinning to face the door as it opened. “Welcome to Family Video!” Dustin rolled his eyes from the doorway.

“Just returning my movie.” He brought the case to the counter. “What’s up with two of my favorite adults?”

“What do you need?” Steve crossed his arms.

“Who said I needed anything?” Dustin smirked at the tired expression on Steve’s face. “Okay fine, but before I start just know it’s a very noble cause.” Steve sighed deeply before gesturing for him to continue. “My mom is working the late shift and was stressed about not being able to go grocery shopping before the big-”

“4 O’clock.” Steve cut him off, turning and walking out the little gate attached to the counter, walking Dustin’s returned movie back to the sci-fi shelf. He glanced back at Dustin’s confused expression, feeling a little smug about the swapped positions. “I’ll pick you, and any other dweebs that need a ride, up from school and I’ll take you. I get off at 4.” He turned his attention back to the shelf, scanning for misplaced titles. He gasped suddenly as Dustin’s arms wrapped around him, letting go just as quickly.

“Thank you!” He beamed. “You’re going to take the title of ‘Mom’s Best Boy’ from me.”

“Hey remember when we talked about things that will get you made fun of?” Steve smirked as he leaned against the shelf. “Add saying shit like that to the list.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Dustin held up his hands before pulling his backpack on. “We can’t all be High School Royalty.”

“No, but maybe, just maybe,” Steve stared at the cases of movies on the shelf. “You’ll be something better.” He sighed, thinking of ruffling Dustin’s precious curls, but he knew Dustin preferred to let a very select few people touch them, something he wasn’t feeling privileged to at the moment. “Now scram before you’re late to school.”

***

“Why the hell are there no parking spots?” Steve banged his hands on the steering wheel, the slight sting vibrating through his finger tips.

“You could always park in the expectant mother’s space.” Max sucked on a lollipop, lips slightly stained blue from the sugar.

“Yeah fucking hilarious.” He mumbled, keeping his eyes peeled until he spotted a pale yellow beetle pulling out of a parking space far from the entrance to the store. “Everybody hold on.” With that he pressed his foot to the gas, flooring it to the spot and quickly turning on his blinker before one of the other circling cars could swoop in.

“Finally!” Dustin shuffled his feet. “I was afraid that if we didn’t go inside soon, I’d pee all over your seats.”

“Jesus, alright you weird little poodle, run inside and take a piss.” Steve pressed a hand to his brow, peering at the other kids in the car. “Max it’s a bit of a hike to the doors, do you want to chill here or come inside?”

“I’ll…” She thought for a second, clearly appreciating the options. “I think I’ll stay here. We had an assembly today so I had to walk down to the auditorium from the east wing and now my legs are really tired.”

“I’ll stay here too.” Lucas, unsurprisingly supplied, never one to leave Max by herself for long.

“Me too.” Erica added with a grin. It was nice to see the blossoming friendship between the two, although the possibilities that arose between them terrified him. Erica was like a blow torch on her best days, Max like an atomic bomb on her worst, between the two they could destroy anyone or melt their souls in just a few smart quips. “But can we keep the bat…?”

“You want me to leave the three of you unattended in a crowded parking lot with a nail filled baseball bat?” Steve raised his eyebrows as Max glanced past him. “Yeah why don’t I just call the cops awhile and save them the trip to my front door.”

“Well Hopper would never arrest you.” A hand landed on his shoulder, making him jump and gasp. “But I can keep an eye on the pipsqueaks while you run inside.”

“Ah yes I see the headlines now,” Erica smirked. “Ex Wanted Murder found in a Marsh’s parking lot holding three teens hostage with a nailed baseball bat.”

“You, my ferocious little tyke, are a preteen.” Eddie booped her nose. “So suck on that.” He stuck out his tongue at her before pushing past Steve to get in the driver’s seat, fiddling with the radio controls. Steve was still a bit shell shocked, the heat of the hand lingering on his shoulder causing shivers to run up his spine. “You alright there, Stevie?”

“Yeah… I um…” Steve squinted before facing him fully. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until later…”

“Yeah well I needed to grab some tylenol and wonder bread. Wayne insisted on stocking up befo-”

“Steve what the hell?!” Dustin hollered from the entrance, hands cupped around his mouth. “Hurry up, we don’t have all day.” Steve rolled his eyes as he flashed Eddie a smirk.

“Run along Little Red, the Big Bad Wolf is waiting.” Eddie winked. Despite the childish grin that came along with seeing his boyfriend, Steve couldn’t help the jolt of fear he felt as he realized it wasn’t just a one off thing. Something was seriously wrong with him and his inability to touch people without having a reaction of some sort. He just needed to relax, get over his issues, and move on. If not that, then maybe he just needed to hide it better.

***

“Dude I’m not letting you spend that on an 18 pack of eggs when it’ll just be you and your mom at home.” Steve rubbed at his arms gently, feeling the goosebumps across his skin.

“My mom likes to bake when she gets nervous, you know how she is.” Dustin justified as he piled the carton into the shopping cart, crossing off one of the items on his list. “Are you going to rough it at home this weekend or…?”

Steve took a deep breath, the nosiness of his friends killing him. “You know I don’t really have a plan yet. I’m going to be at Eddie’s tonight for movie night, but otherwise I might hang out at home or pick up a couple of extra shifts. I’m sure you guys will hassle me into giving you rides at some point.”

“Family Video is staying open?” Dustin squinted at him while grabbing a loaf of bread from the shelf.

“Yeah man, believe it or not weekends are huge business days.” Steve tapped his fingers against the cart, trying to ignore the bum wheel that made the whole cart veer to the left.

“Yeah but- Oh batteries!” Dustin sprinted ahead to a display for Duracell. “Triple and double, score!” He turned back to put the packs in the cart before giving a pointed glare at Steve. “If you were cold, you should have asked Eddie for his jacket, you know he'd give it to you.”

“I’m not… what?” Steve glared at him, quickly dropping his hands from rubbing at his shoulders, immediately longing for the simulated touch that they created. “Ok are you finished? They’re waiting outside for us and I want to get out there before Eddie destroys my car.”

“You’re being weird.” Dustin bit at him thumbnail. “I know because I’m an ambassador of weird, but I also know that trying to get you to talk about it is pointless, so let’s just go.”

“Hold up, Dipshit,” Steve closed him eyes against the anxiety battering him from inside his skull. Dustin always brought out the best and worst in him, the fear of upsetting the younger boy overruling his bone deep weariness. “I’m not trying to keep stuff from you, you know that right?”

“You’re not exactly going out of your way to tell me, or anyone else for that matter, anything that matters to you.” Dustin’s eyes met his, flashing with hurt. “It’s like you decide that no one is going to care before you ever give us a shot.”

“I’m not…” Steve sighed. “It’s complicated man. I am entitled to a little privacy, you guys need to understand that. You might have grown up with friends and people that allowed you to feel comfortable about expressing how you feel, but I didn’t. I’m still learning and that takes time, but I’m also very much allowed to not tell you guys everything, capiche?”

“Capiche.” Dustin muttered, a bit shamefully. “Just… talk to someone… when it gets bad I mean.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever you say.” Steve smirked, pushing the cart into Dustin quickly, causing the younger man to jump out of the way. “Is your list done or what?”

“Yes, Mother. We can go check on your precious baby now.” Dustin laughed as they walked toward the checkout line.

“Easy Henderson, just because you’re one of my favorites, it doesn’t mean you can make fun of Eddie and I.” Steve huffed as he stuck out his tongue. “Besides, I don’t call him my precious baby. Our pet names are way better than that.”

“Yeah I was talking about your car, Stevie.” Dustin snickered. Steve could try to deny it, but his blush would always give him away.

***

“What the actual fuck?” Steve peered out the window of Eddie’s trailer, wind whipping through the trees, the sky a dark gray behind it. “Since when was there a storm?”

“Seriously?” Eddie gave him a small smile. “They’ve been talking about it all week on the news and radio and shit. That’s why the store was so packed, people trying to stock up.”

“Well shit…” Steve sighed, turning back from the window, eyeing the flickering porch light warily. “Is Wayne going to be okay?”

“He’s crashing at the warehouse with some of the other guys he works with. They have cots and stuff there, nice and cozy.” Eddie shrugged as he walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboards. He searched for a few moments before letting out a deep breath and closing them without taking anything out. Steve couldn’t help but notice the restless, antsy energy that Eddie was carrying himself with.

“We aren’t thrilled about that.” Steve didn’t need to guess, it was fairly easy to read Eddie, but it wasn’t fair to assume.

“We are not.” Eddie sighed as he leaned into the counter. “I just…” He paused, considering his thoughts. “It’s stupid, nevermind.”

“Hey woah.” Steve swung around the corner, into the tiny kitchen where he hopped onto the counter beside Eddie. “I doubt that it’s stupid, if you feel like talking about it.”

“Sometimes it feels wrong to complain about the upside down when I only really experienced it for a day or two.” Eddie’s eyes stared into Steve’s looking for a sign of defensiveness, finding none. “Like you and the kids and everyone else… you guys are almost used to this shit and I don’t know how to get there.”

“Well none of us are really there, to be honest.” Steve leaned onto his knees, hair falling forward. “It’s not that simple, I don’t think. We all have things that make us react differently, you know? Robin hasn’t been to the mall, not since last year. Will hates the cold, Hopper too. It’s stupid to think that you’re above it, it’s not stupid to be affected by it.”

“You’re pretty smart, Steve.” Eddie grinned.

“I’m trying to be nice, asshole.” Steve chuckled , blush across his cheeks. “If you’re going to make fun of m-”

“I’m not.” Eddie reached out, grasping Steve’s hand. “I’m not making fun of you… I think you’re smart, don’t you?”

“I um…” Steve was distracted by the feeling of Eddie’s hand on his own. He stared at it, flinching and pulling away as Eddie adjusted his grip, purposefully ignoring the look the other man shot at him. “It’s not that I don’t think I’m smart, I just that I don’t think I’m as smart as everyone else.”

“Well that’s bullshit.” Eddie placed his own hand back on his own lap.

“So I’ve been told.” Steve muttered, glancing up at the roof as the sound of rain hitting the metal filled the trailer. Eddie’s eyes were glued to the window as the wind whipped the fallen leaves into a tornado of reds and oranges. “Is it the storm? Is that what’s bothering you?”

“Sad isn’t it.” Eddie didn’t move his gaze. “I can’t even deal with natural shit.”

“Well the last time it stormed like this-”

“I know what happened the last time it fucking stormed like this, Steve.” Eddie snapped, silence filling the small room. Eddie pinched his brows, regretting the tone.

“Don’t yell at me like that, that’s not very metal.” Steve pouted, crossing his arms.

“No, I know.” Eddie frowned as he finally met Steve’s gaze. “I’m sorry, I just hate this. Our power already kinda sucks here and now this shit’s going to knock it out entirely and we won’t be able to have our movie night.”

“What would help you feel better?” Steve decided to take the direct route.

“I need to just like…” Eddie hopped down. “I think I need to go out there.”

“In the storm? Isn’t that like… counteracting?” Steve glanced at the now determined look on Eddie’s face and he knew that somehow, by the end of the night he’d end up soaking wet from the rain.

“Yeah but I think that’s the point.” Eddie moved into the living room, grabbing a jacket. “I need to prove to my brain that bad shit won’t happen out there.”

“Then I’m coming out too.” Steve winced as he hopped down, following Eddie.

“Congratulations!!”Eddie smirked. “You’ve been in the closet a long time, love.”

“Very funny.” Steve deadpanned, grabbing one of Wayne’s hooded jackets from off the rack.

“It’s what I do best.” Eddie gave him a cat-like grin, grabbing onto the door handle. “Are you sure you wanna go out here? You could get sick.”

“So could you.” Steve noticed the shaking hand that held the door knob. “But we’re a team, right?” Eddie winked in lieu of an answer, opening the door, a gust of air hitting them as his breath caught in his throat. “I’m right behind you.”

“This is stupid, this is so fucking stupid.” Eddie muttered, knees gently shaking as he walked slowly down the steps of the porch. “I literally died right there, what the hell am I doing?”

“Okay well maybe don’t picture dying.” Steve gestured to him unhelpfully. “Picture something that doesn’t make you think about death. Something that makes you smile.”

Eddie’s creased brow slowly released as he took a deep breath, mental image coming in clearly. “I think it’s working.”

“Yeah?” Steve smiled gently, watching as the tension began to leave his boyfriend’s frame. “What are you picturing?”

“You doing the polka in a poodle skirt.” He giggled, a sound that always made Steve melt, even when he was slightly embarrassed of the image Eddie was concocting. “Think I can get a real life vision of that?”

“No.” Steve shot down instantly. “I don’t know how to polka and I don’t own a poodle skirt.”

“Too bad.” Eddie sighed, feeling much more at ease as the light banter continued. “The world is missing out.” A streak of lightning flashed across the horizon, making Eddie jump.

“I do um…” Steve took a deep breath. “I know how to slow dance though…” Eddie’s eyes lit up in an instant. “Provided I have the right music, of course.”

“I think I know a tune or two that you would like.” Eddie reached out, entwining his own fingers with Steve’s, pulling them together. Steve sucked in a breath, trying to supress the urge to run. He could feel his palms sweating, couldn’t stop thinking about how gross that was, he could smell the ozone in the air, sharp and all encompassing as lightning flashed in the quarry beyond the trailer park, the thunder rumbled in his chest and for a moment he was unsure if that was just his heart. His head was spinning, his knees shaking, eyes stinging, the lightning was closer now, seemingly between his and Eddie’s fingers and-

Holy Shit.

He felt Eddie chuckle against him as they continued to sway. There was no fucking way in the world, Steve was almost convinced he was dreaming. “Are you…” He took a deep shaky breath. “Are you humming ABBA to me right now?”

Eddie didn’t respond, continuing the low hum as he stretched his arm out, distancing himself from Steve before pulling him closer again, tucking his arms around his waist. “And how could I ever refuse?” His voice was soft, the way old tee shirts were after too many washes. “I feel like I win when I lose.” He pressed a kiss to Steve’s neck, shivers racking up the man’s spine as he breathed the tune like fog on a mirror. “Waterloo. I was defeated, you won the war.” He moved his lips against Steve’s ear, the storm far from him mind. “Waterloo. Promise to love you forever more.” With that, he spun Steve slowly, before pulling him directly to his chest, mouths inches apart, the magnetism pulling them together. Closer and closer, Steve’s heart was pounding and his head felt muddled, the storm raged on around them, seeming like nothing compared to the storm between them, they were soaked at this point, the rain starting somewhere in the middle of their slow waltz. Maybe it was the way his clothes stuck to him, maybe it was that Eddie was sticking to him in a way he craved for so long, but suddenly it was too much. Far too much. With a yelp, he pushed Eddie away, arms clutching around his own shoulders as shivers racked his spine.

He felt so stupid.

This was what he was wanting, what he was so desperate for, why couldn’t he just let himself be happy, even for a moment? Eddie’s hands on his were warm and gentle, not like any touch he was used to, it was electric and sharp but in the way a lemon was, not the way a knife was. Eddie’s hair was plastered to his cheek, a strand or two in his mouth, his eyes drawn to Steve’s distressed expression. He had to play this off. He had to think! Something! Anything! “Sorry that lightning messed with my mind for a second… I don’t… I don’t know what just happened.” He kept his hands close to himself. He couldn’t tell if his fingers burned from the lack of touch or from too much touch, but he was afraid to find out.

Eddie was a very physical guy by nature, but Steve was always far more reserved. Something along the way made Eddie think that Steve hated to be touched, maybe it was something he and Robin shared, so he tried to avoid the hand holding and casual draping of his weight, for fear of pushing too hard too fast. Yet here he was. Eddie was no fool, despite the struggle in school, he could tell there was a correlation between touch and Steve, but maybe he was wrong from the start. Maybe Steve didn’t just like touch, maybe he loved it, craved it, and was starved for it.

“Let’s head back inside, Dancing Queen.” He wrinkled his nose playfully, avoiding touching Steve while trying to make a plan. “We’ll get pneumonia if we’re out here any longer and I really don’t feel like storm chasing anymore.”

***

“Hello Lover.” Eddie laughed, opening the bathroom door, steam pouring out behind him. “Now I know that it’ll be hard, but try to behave yourself, okay?” With that, he exited the condensation filled room, hair wrapped high in a towel, acne cream dotting on his chin. He smelled like cinnamon toothpaste, a fact further proven by the drip on his dark green tank top. He was wearing gray sweatpants, bottoms raggedy from being too long and walked on over the years. He was far from the bravado that he performed and Steve felt truly honored to be let into his smaller, quieter world.

“I make no promises.” Steve smiled, leaning back on Eddie’s bed, hair wet from his own shower. He was wearing… decidedly less clothing. Nothing lewd, the time didn’t feel quite right for that yet, but enough that he looked soft and felt smaller. He was swamped in an oversized tee shirt, hanging down to just below his hips, Eddie’s flame boxers peeking out from under the edge. “The Great And Powerful Eds.”

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” Eddie giggled, tossing himself onto the bed beside Steve, propping his head up on his hand. “We can’t all be perfect.”

“I am definitely not perfect.” Steve stared down at his own fingers, tangled in his shirt.

“I know, no one is Babe.” Eddie reached out gently, brushing a hair from Steve’s face. “But you’re the closest person I know.”

“You flatterer you.” Steve let out a small chuckle, but it turned into a gasp as Eddie stroked his cheek. “You’re too good to me, Munson, I swear you’ll be the death of me.”

“Life and death.” Eddie corrected. “Sounds like bliss to me.” He snuggled in, laying his head on Steve’s shoulder. He had a theory, one he intended on testing. “Sorry movie night was a bust.”

“I had fun either way, I always do with you.” Steve was trying to quiet the beating of his heart, feeling like it could be heard from under floorboards like that tale he read in English years before. He squeezed his eyes shut as Eddie placed a gentle kiss onto his collarbone, a small yelp of surprise slipping out before he could stop it.

“Why do you always make that sound when I touch you?” Eddie sat up, eyes full of concern.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve winced, knowing his argument was weak.

“Baby, come on, you know I won’t judge you.” Eddie shifted, turning to fully look at him. “Do you not like it when I touch you?”

“No! That’s not it!” Steve breathed quickly. “Okay it is but it isn’t.”

“Wh- Steve… that doesn’t make sense.” Eddie sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I know!” Steve could feel his energy pulsing, he was getting worked up rather quickly. “I know and it’s stupid. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want you to touch me, so fucking badly… like constantly… but it’s also the most overwhelming feeling in the world.”

“Ok, that makes sense.” Eddie held out his hand, eyebrows raised, asking for permission before he settled his hand into Steve’s. “I can work with that.”

“It’s not just you…” Steve sniffled. “Mrs. Byers hugged me like a month and a half ago and I thought I was going to combust. Robin or Dustin poke at me and it’s like a static shock. You’re a goddamn atomic bomb. I don’t get it.”

“There’s not really much to get, Steve.” Eddie leaned in a bit closer, slowly invading Steve’s space as the man grew more comfortable. “People need physical affection, our body craves that shit, it’s why babies and little kids have to get held so often. People don’t thrive without it.”

“I don’t unde- babies?” Steve had a haunted look about him. “Like how old?”

“Newborn…” Eddie narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah but like how old can they get before it’s cool to just like… not touch them anymore.”

“Steve, love, there’s not an age for that. People need contact from birth to death. Is there something deeper than that happening? You sound a little stressed.” Eddie knew. He knew but he didn’t want to press. It wasn’t exactly the world’s best kept secret.

“Mrs. Byers hugged me a month and a half ago.” Steve whispered. “That was the last time I had a hug. It was so quick too, just a little side hug, nothing extraordinary, just a goodbye on her way out while I was watching the kids… but that was more than I’ve had from my own parents in years…”

“I’m sorry baby.” Eddie squeezed his hand gently. “Really I am. I feel like a shit boyfriend because I thought you just weren’t a touchy person so I was trying to avoid touching you, but that’s not what you needed and I wish I could go back in time and fix it.”

“No…no that’s just it though.” Steve sat up, a lightbulb nearly visible as the thoughts began to jump into his head. “Jesus if you would have pressed harder about being affectionate, I would’ve caved but not for me… that’s what I do.” He let out a frustrated groan. “Jesus fucking Christ they fucked me up.”

“Love, take a breath.” Eddie hushed him.

“No because I have been throwing my body at everything for fucking year, Eddie! Years!” His voice cracked. “I thought that if I gave my body to someone else and they were happy, that must mean I am, but I was just trying to trick myself into thinking that it was love or affection and not just a means of getting off. If I throw myself in front of every goddamn monster, every person that tries to hurt someone I love then maybe…” His voice croaked as a sob ripped through him. “Maybe then I could finally fucking earn it. Eddie you didn’t do anything wrong, don’t you see? By not letting me throw myself at you, you helped me find the answer.”

“What’s the answer, Steve?” Eddie’s eyes were wide, he was quietly trying to take in the small breakdown Steve was having, trying to minimize the damage as much as he could, fingers lightly scratching Steve’s back.

“You love me…” Steve smiled. “You love me, and so do my friends. You really love me.”

“Yeah, Stevie. We really love you.” Eddie felt his heart ache at the thought of Steve doubting it, even for a moment.

“You love me more in 9 months than my parents have in 20 goddamn years.” Steve laughed, edging on hysteria. As the laughter died down, only a wobbly lip and teary eyes remained. “They don’t love me, Eddie. Why don’t they love me?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie lifted his chin, wiping away the tears that leaked down Steve’s cheeks. “But fuck them, and fuck anyone else who doesn’t see you the way you deserve to be seen. I know it’s not that simple, but it can be. You never have to see them again, okay? Just say the word and we’ll run away from all of that bullshit.”

“I’d like that.” Steve gave him a watery smile. “Can you um…” He hesitated, blush high on his cheeks. “Can you just like…hold me for a little?” It was clear he wasn’t used to asking for things for himself.

“Steven Harrington, I would hold you for eternity if you asked me to.” Eddie smirked, theatrics coming out to make Steve smile. He shuffled himself lower, opening his arms up for Steve to wiggle into. It was unbearably hot and the room smelled like weed. The record stopped playing several minutes ago, leaving only the sound of rain pelting the roof to be the soundtrack for their love. It was perfectly imperfect, but hey, that’s love.

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #angst #fanfiction #stranger things 4 #my writing #request

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ilycorisradiata · 2 years ago

Note

Hi there! I really enjoy your writing for male/transmasc readers, could I plz request something with Nanami Kento and a transmasc reader that loves being called baby boy? 👉👈 could be NSFW or SFW, whichever your preference is! I'm just a simp for nanami 😅

waves

ಌ waves: nanami x transmasc!reader

ಌ theme: nanami finds out your likes, and he uses them to his full potential after you have a rough last hour or two at work

ಌ cw: 18+ NSFW, transmasc reader, top!nanami bottom!reader, clit referred to as a cock, no trans body anatomy really mentioned other than scars, no pronouns only pet names like baby boy and good boy, massage turns into something more, oral (reader receiving), fingering, use of restraints, nanami being rough for the first time but ends up being real sweet by the end, solo read + solo edited, cross-posted on ao3

ಌ wc: 3.4K

ಌ notes: hi there ! thank you for reading my stuff and enjoying them :D i hope this is what you were hoping for, thank you for requesting<33 thank you all so much for 200+ followers as well !

“Have this done by tonight, leave it on my desk when you’re finished.” A big pile of paperwork is slammed to the side of you, and you look up to see your manager smirking before walking away. You grit your teeth, looking at the time and then looking at the pile he left you. Sighing, you planned to have such a nice evening with Nanami… And now all you’re probably going to do was complain about your manager for dumping work on you one hour before he was meant to pick you up. Mumbling insults about your boss under your breath, you decide to get this out of the way. Your own work wasn’t as important, it could be picked up the next working day. Like, of course your boss picks Friday as the day to be an asshole huh? When you have the weekend off and the only weekend that matched up with Nanami? You were seething. It was like this manager could detect when you were most excited, at this point he may as well cock block you from Nanami himself.

Of course, everything he gave you was easy enough; it was more the amount he gave you. What you and your manager seen as difficult was totally different, and for some reason he tried to give you difficult tasks, but everything was pretty straightforward. You texted Nanami about how you might be a little late, how your manager gave you extra work before he took off. Nanami always stayed outside your building regardless, not minding the fact he had to wait for you. Shuffling through the paperwork, you sigh at the sheer amount he’d given you. Your shoulders were already killing you from working overtime this whole week, and of course he just had to top it off with useless things that didn’t actually need to be done tonight. You role your shoulders, ready to get everything finished in time for you to clock out.

It took you longer than you thought, it being 30 minutes after you were hoping to leave and meet up with Nanami downstairs. The cleaners were coming up onto your floor and they noticed that the light was still on when you were tidying your stuff into your bag, and they came and asked if you were doing overtime. You say yes, but that you are leaving now so that they can start working on cleaning the office. Thanking them and wishing them a good weekend, you make your way out of the office. Texting Nanami again to tell him you were making your way out, placing your phone back into your bag. Rolling your shoulders, you could feel how stiff you were from sitting down all this time, trying to finish things for today before the weekend. You press the button on the elevator, still mad that your manager did that but now you were getting to see Nanami, and that made your night 100 times better. With a ding, the elevator opens, and you step inside. You wouldn’t admit to Nanami how furiously you pressed the ‘ground floor’ button over and over, desperately just wanting to see him. When it did finally get to the ground floor, you saw Nanami waiting outside of his car and looking up to the night sky. You try not to run to him… But of course, this fails, because you’re beelining for his arms. He hears your fast footsteps, and he instinctively stands away from his car whilst opening his arms for you. Launching yourself into him, he's knocked back with an ‘oof’ escaping from him.

“Did you miss me?” You muffle into his chest, and you hear the rumbling of his laugh. Pulling you away from him, he gives you a small smile.

“Always.” Moving to open the passenger side door, he beckons you in and you gladly get in, with him shutting the door after you. He walks around to the driver’s side, getting in and shutting the door. He takes your bag from you, placing it behind you both next to his. When he comes back, he’s quick to lean over and buckle you in, leaving a quick peck on your cheek before buckling himself in. He starts his car and asks about what your manager had given you last minute. Of course, this starts your complaints, how your manager only does this when he realises how good of a mood you are in and how he does it before you have to leave every single time. At a stop light, you arch your back trying to crack it, and Nanami can’t help but look.

“It doesn’t help that it feels like there’s a massive weight on my shoulders, him dumping work on me made me feel worse.” Nanami hums along to your complaints, smiling.

“Maybe a bath when we get into my apartment would be best, baby boy.” That pet name just now gave you whiplash, because Nanami had never called you this before. Plus, it was your favourite thing to be called, so how he knew this didn’t click, at least not now anyway. He looks at you like he had said something wrong just now, but you wave it off that you like being called that and it just took you aback that he said that. You both chat idly all the way to his apartment, and honestly that bath couldn’t come any sooner.

Opening the door for you, even with both bags in his hand, he leads you into his apartment. You rush to the bath, calling out behind you that you were going in. He leaves your bag where you didn’t shut the door, as well as leaving one of his loose t-shirts near your towels. You sit on the bathtub’s ledge as you wait for the water to fill, thinking nothing other than hoping it will melt everything away. When it was ready, you stripped everything as fast as you could and quickly washed yourself with the shower beside the bathtub. When you finish, you groan when you’re finally submerged into the tub. It was doing wonders, and you closed your eyes for a brief moment before hearing a knock on the door. Nanami was there, peeking in before coming into full view.

“I was wondering if I could take a quick shower whilst you’re in the bath?” You laugh at him, wondering why he’s even asking.

“It’s your apartment, Nanami. Just come on in already.” He shuffles in, taking his own clothes off so he could shower. You were both completely comfortable around each other to be butt naked without a second thought, but it definitely had been a while and you felt shy. Smiling down at you, he’d turned on the shower that was outside of the tub, right near where you were sitting. He chose not to sit down to wash himself off, opting to stand and do it quickly. The silence is nice, listening to the running water beside you. You peak towards Nanami, his eyes shut as he massages his scalp with his shampoo. Honestly, you could look at him all day. It felt surreal when he had asked you out, especially after being good friends for so long. Your eyes travel of course, hoping that you were being subtle about it.

“If you stare for too long your eyes will stay like that, you know.” Your eyes snap up to his face, seeing him with one eye open, smiling at you for your wandering eyes. Turning away pretending to whistle, he chortles. The shower shuts off, and he grabs his towel.

“See you when you come out.” He walks out of the bathroom, and you peak all the way until he’s gone. You sigh, the water cooling down much faster than you would’ve liked, that dull ache still present in your shoulders. The water only eased them for a while, but you think you’d need to sleep it off to get rid of the ache. You sit up, unplugging the bath. Sighing again as you exit, you dry yourself off and shove your boxers, fitted shorts and then you pick up Nanami’s t-shirt. It’s clean, but it still smells like Nanami and his house in general. Smashing your face into it before inhaling, you grin to yourself. Quick to put it on, you smooth it down before exiting. Stretching before finding Nanami on his phone on the couch, you walk to his kitchen to grab two ciders out of his fridge. Walking to where he sat on the couch, he looks up at you before you sit beside him. You slouch into his side, offering the other can of cider to him. He gladly takes it, opening it and taking a swig. Laying against the couch, he asks if the bath helped, and you complain that it didn’t. He hums, tapping his hand on your thigh a couple of times in condolences. Slouching into him, you whine.

“Why are they so sore? This is so annoying…” He hums along to your complaint, before turning to you.

“I can give you a massage, try and loosen any tightness in your shoulder blades.” You beam at his offer, quick to agree and you’re both finishing your ciders at the same time. He takes them to the trash in the kitchen. Once he was back, he asks you to lay on your stomach. You’re quick to do this, and he’s just as quick to get behind you to start the massage.

His big hands start slow, rubbing and kneading the knots out of your shoulders. You were enjoying it, that was fact, but the noises you made were embarrassing you… Wishing the couch would just swallow you whole. Nanami was so skilled with his hands, to the point you didn’t realise how much they would affect you. His hands were travelling lower as he did his work before he slid his hands from your waist to the back of your thighs. Clearly it was turning into something else, his hands that were massaging your thighs now creeping upwards, under your shorts and kneading your butt. Without turning around, you ask what he’s up to.

“I’m not sure what you’re on about, baby boy.” Claiming he hadn’t a clue what he was doing, straight face and that usual monotone voice of his when replying to you. You look over your shoulder at him, and he looks at you, not moving his head to look at you properly. Removing his hands to hold your hips, pulling you up to meet his own. When he grinds into you, you realise how much it got to him doing this kind of thing. He was just as much of a mess as you were, and he was quick to flip you over. Pulling you into him, you had no time to say anything before his hands were under your (his) t-shirt and leaving sparks on your bare skin where he touched. His hands were the only thing touching your skin, and he was adamant to tease you. Licking and nipping your skin, your nipples, through the t-shirt. Whilst you’re distracted with the weirdly good sensation, he’s quick to remove everything from your bottom half. Kissing you sweetly, you grind back into him again. Groaning into your mouth, his hands slide from your waist, and he parts from you.

Practically bending you in half, he flips your legs up so that your bottom half was in line with his face. Before you can ask what he’s up to, he prods your hole with his tongue before fully delving in. You try to tell him that he doesn’t need to do that, that he should remove his mouth from there. He doesn’t listen, simply humming and using a free hand to mess with your cock. Gripping the cushions that lay beside you for dear life, you were a mess. He was relentless as well, unstopping until your moans were getting more strangled as you struggled to keep from making a mess. He stops stroking you when you get close, and you whine for his touch again. Removing his tongue, he chuckles at you before spitting onto your hole, and sucking onto two of his fingers. You felt dizzy. This was the most daring Nanami had ever been in your relationship. He’s quick to fill you back up, plunging a finger into you. Taking it slow, working you back up to have you a whining mess. Purring to encourage him to go further, trying to entice him to do more than he is doing now… And it works, of course. But not in a way you expected. He bit into your inner thigh; another finger added. Looking at you with a look you didn’t recognise.

Picking up the pace, he’s leaving you gobsmacked and a total slobbering mess. The only coherent words leaving your mouth were his name, and that you were close. His thick fingers hit the right spot dead on each time, watching as your face contorts in front of him, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. Unstopping, you eventually peaked and squeezed around his fingers, but nothing came out. Shaking nonstop, tears spilling down your face. That orgasm was none other than a dry one, and this was the first time Nanami had ever pulled something like that from you. You continued to throb and clamp down on his fingers, whining that you wanted to cum properly. Covering your face in embarrassment, Nanami removes his fingers. Moving away from under you, you flop back into a normal position on the couch. He grabs your wrists to pull you up, throwing you over his shoulder to take you to his bedroom. Placing you onto the bed gently, he opens the drawer next to the bed. He pulls out one of his ties, before turning to face you.

“Baby boy, flip yourself over and hold onto the bed’s headboard railings please.” You do as you’re told, and he binds you to them. Giving the restraint a tug, you were definitely not getting out of that by yourself. He strips himself, throwing everything onto the floor. He rummages in the drawer again, and you can see from the corner of your eye that he pulls out a strip of condoms and lube.

“We don’t need to use protection… It’s your decision…” You turn away again, feeling like you were in a sauna after saying that.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah… Let’s not use it, hmm?” He nods in response, putting them away. He’s quick to get behind you, popping the lube cap. Pulling one of your ass cheeks aside, he squirts the lube onto your asshole, letting it run downwards. He’s quick to slide his cock, sandwiching himself with your ass. You shudder, and he pulls away to line himself up properly. Holding onto your hips, he guides himself in slowly. Feeling a little impatient, you push yourself back against him and his hold tightens, almost bruising. Growing impatient, he slams into you to fully bottom out. The wind is knocked out of you, feeling breathless with whatever Nanami you seem to have unlocked. You arch yourself properly for him, and he kisses up your back all the way to your neck. He waits a few seconds, whispering deeply into your ear.

“Good boy, you’re taking me so well…” He pulls out slightly, before pushing slowly back in. You whine, he’s not giving you that same shock as before. Purposely grunting and breathing heavily in your ear, he whispers the pet names you want to hear the most. In time with his slow, deep thrusts, you squeeze around him on purpose. Pushing yourself back into him, you complain to him.

“Nanamin~ More…” One hand remains on your hip, whilst the other slides itself to your chest. Feeling along it, grazing your nipples with his calloused palms. He’s being cruel, not giving you the pace you want despite your complaints and cries. So, you squeeze him like a vice. The hand on your hip tightens again, and his hips stutter. Hissing into your ear, he wanted to take things slow before what he was willing to bring… But that was way out of the window now. Both hands on your hips, he pulls out until the tip is only left inside of you. Missing the small bit of friction you once had, your hole flutters around him. He slams into you, unforgiving. Gripping tightly onto the bed’s headboard with each slam of Nanami’s hips, not getting a moment to think before those obscene noises you were making earlier came back full swing. The man who normally went for missionary and wasn’t rough when loving you, was now being rough and you couldn’t complain, since Nanami was executing your likes so well. There was only one person that knew of these likes, and it wasn’t Nanami. You hadn’t told him, so you knew you had someone to thank after this night was over. It didn’t take you long to cum, splattering all over the sheets beneath you and caking Nanami in it too. But Nanami was still going, angling you in a way that would hit deeper. The overstimulation made you cry, it felt amazing, but you were crying. He noticed this, pulling out and unbinding you. He flips you over, entering you again but with a much less brutal pace than before. Wiping your tears, he followed up with a lot of sweet kisses.

“Hold on a little longer, okay? Please tell me if you can’t anymore.” He had returned to his usual self, bringing you back up to another climax. He whispered little ‘I love you’s into your ear, kissing you all over your chest scars, moving up your neck to your face, then kissing your lips.

“I wish you could… Engrave those words into my heart. Reassure me that you really do love me.”

“You’re the only one for me.” He hadn’t touched your cock at all since before on the couch, so when he did, you felt like a dam had broken loose. Wave after wave of pleasure, you squirted everywhere. You couldn’t help making a mess again. Losing himself in the moment, he followed closely behind, burying himself deep and releasing his built-up orgasm. When he pulled out, he looked panicked. Pulling him into a kiss, touching your forehead with his own

“What’s… wrong?”

“I meant to pull out.” You chuckle at him panicking for this, it didn’t bother you in the slightest.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’m happy you enjoyed yourself.” He gives you a quick peck before running to the bathroom, saying he needed to get a cloth. Once he leaves the bedroom, you get up to move to your bag to text a certain someone. You wobble towards it, shivering when the cum starts to dribble out of you. Crouching, you grab your phone out of your bag. Messaging a certain white-haired male.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

You: you told him didn’t you?

Gojo aka Man Whore: ;)

Gojo aka Man Whore: sure did !

You: thanks

You: maybe you aren’t completely useless

Gojo aka Man Whore: HEY >:(

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

You shake your head, exhaling a small laugh. Throwing your phone back into your bag, you stand back up to make your way to the bathroom where Nanami was. Nanami pops out with a cloth in hand, before realising you’re on your way over to him. He rushes over, holding onto your waist and leading you into the bathroom. You hear water running, and realise he was away preparing a bath for you both.

“I know you had one earlier, but we should probably clean up again.” Smiling at him helping you, he’s quick to turn you around and kneel down. A warm, wet sensation snakes between your legs. Nanami wipes the cum dribbling out of you, and you notice how the tips of his ears and the back of his neck starts to flush. He’d never show it on his face, but after that, he was definitely feeling shy. Smiling to yourself, he wipes the rest of your bottom half before standing back up. Guiding you over to the bath, he holds your hand as you step into the tub, and sink slowly in.

He slides into the tub too, sitting behind you and pulling you in by your waist. Resting your back against his chest, he kisses the juncture of your neck. You both sigh, almost in sync. The heat of the bath makes you drowsy, but you have to fight sleeping. Nanami was mumbling into your neck, just below your ear. Words of affirmation, those same pet names he called you only now were they of sweet endearment rather than to rile you up. You couldn’t get enough.

#nanami kento #nanami smut #nanami x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #nanami #kento #nanami x y/n #nanami x you #jjk smut #jjk x reader #top!nanami #bottom!reader #nanami x transmasc reader #x transmasc reader

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sargeant-bxrnes · 3 years ago

Text

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

warnings: rafe being… rafe. drug mention & consumption, cursing, toxic relationship, sexual situations/implications, mental health issues. ANGST.

[AN: this is the first thing i’ve written, ever, so my apologies if it’s not flawless ; also, english is not my first language, that’s a warning on its own]

my requests are open btw

click for my master list

word count: 4.4K

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

“Hey,” you said in a soft tone as soon as Rafe picked up the phone, you were laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey princess,” his tone was calm, but his voice was rough and raspy all together.

“How you doing?” you asked him, even though you’d seen him last night, up close.

“I’m doing great,” he replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone, which is weird this early in the morning. Rafe is not a morning person. “You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you confirmed with a sigh. “Guess I have you to thank for that.”

“My pleasure.” he replied cockily, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically hear his proud smirk.

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked in a casual tone, fidgeting with the edge of Rafe’s shirt, the one you wore to sleep.

“Uh, what do you mean?” he asked in a distracted tone, he sniffed subtly and coughed.

You knew what that meant, but still, you hoped it wasn’t what you deep down knew it was.

“Yeah, I mean—“ you said and made a brief pause. “Wanna go to the club? Maybe we can take a ride on the boat, you know, with food, alcohol... just us.”

“Can’t, I’m busy.” he said after a few seconds, if you didn’t know him better and his occasional mood swings, you would’ve said his tone was harsh.

"Really?" you asked in a soft tone, trying to disguise your disappointment with interest. "But I thought we were going out together today."

"Y/N, just because I'm your boyfriend it doesn't mean I have to be with you all the fucking time."

Okay, now he was definitely angry, you thought you said the right thing, but it still made him angry.

"Rafe-"

"No, Y/N. I have a life of my own, you know? Things to do besides you."

“That’s okay Rafe, I get it,” You said calmly, nodding your head softly. “Have fun today.”

Now you clearly heard the sound of him sniffing something and the sigh that left his lips after, and Barry’s voice in the background. “Don’t play the victim card on me, that’s not gonna work. I deserve to have some time off.”

“I didn’t,” you said softly. “And it’s okay baby, you’re right, you deserve to have some fun.”

“See? No need to be so fucking dramatic,” he said, his voice and words slurring. You? Dramatic? It was all him. “But don’t worry princess, I’ll drop by tonight and fuck the attitude out of you, yeah? That way I’m not just doing things with you, I’m doing you.”

And with such a vulgar comment and a harsh tone, Rafe hung up on you, leaving you completely dumbfounded and filled with incredulity.

What you did know for a fact, is that he would keep up his word. And judging by his tone of voice and how annoyed he was, you could already imagine the ache between your legs.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you started hooking up with Rafe, and what you were committing to when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

You know that man carries more problems than he shows, he prefers to make himself appear as the Kook prince who lives a life of partying and money; hiding all the things that were going on in his head.

However, there were times when his attitude made you doubt yourself.

You couldn't help but think, ‘What if one day I don't manage to calm him down?’ ‘What if one day he realizes that there is someone prettier, or hotter, or wealthier out there?’

And Rafe would get angry if you doubted yourself. He would complain to you about it, saying you had no reason to be insecure about your looks; if you are absolutely gorgeous, or to feel insecure about your personality; if you were the most genuine person he'd ever met, and you could make him laugh until he forgot all his problems.

But what really made him furious was when you had doubts about the relationship itself, about whether or not he was capable of leaving you for someone else. He took those doubts personally, as if he wasn't trying hard enough to show you how much you mean to him.

When in reality; you were doubting yourself.

'Cause it's always one step forward

You were preparing dinner for you and Rafe, your family was out for the weekend, and Rafe had decided to spend it with you.

Your hair was tied up in a bun, your attire consisted of nothing but your underwear and a shirt that used to be Rafe's, but you took it so long ago that it's yours now.

Music from your shared playlist played in the background, as you danced absentmindedly with a spatula in hand, extremely calm and enjoying time with your boyfriend.

Rafe could do nothing but stare at you with admiration, you are literally the only good thing in his life; his little piece of heaven. You are everything to him.

As soon as Dark Red by Steve Lacy started playing, you let out an excited gasp. That song in particular is Rafe’s and yours, like… if you two had to choose a song to describe your relationship, it would be that one. It represented how you two did not always have good times, but your love prevailed.

Seeing you this happy, comfortable and at ease with him made Rafe's soul happy. All his life, he had done nothing else besides make people angry, disappointed, terrified. But with you, everything was different.

You were so focused on swaying your hips to the music and singing, that you didn't notice when Rafe stood up and walked over to where you were.

It wasn't until he stood behind you, chest to back and with his hands on your hips, that you realized he was closer. His head was bowed, you could feel his breathing close to your ear, so he was able to murmur in your ear the lyrics of the song:

“Only you, my girl, only you, babe,” he sang in your ear, his voice a soft whisper as he wrapped his arms around your body and started to sway with you. “Only you, darling, only you, babe.”

The gesture quickened your heart to unsuspected levels, you felt your knees weaken as you pressed closer to his body, appreciating his closeness as he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“You know I love you so much, right?” he mumbled in your ear, as you closed your eyes and relished his presence.

“I love you too, baby.” you mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest, caressing one of his arms around your waist with your fingertips, and bringing your hand to his ash blond hair, stroking it softly.

and three steps back

“Why is he mad at you, again?” Topper asked you with a raised eyebrow, after witnessing Rafe utterly avoiding even looking at you when he walked into the room and then left without a word.

“Because I told Barry to not open the door if Rafe dropped by,” You replied with a shrug, closing your eyes and leaning back against the chair. “And when Rafe tried to lash out on him, Barry said it all had been ‘Mrs.Country Club’s’ request.”

“And he’s mad at you because you don’t want him to get all fucked up?” Topper questioned next, trying to understand the situation. But he never knew what the fuck you two were up to.

“Yes, but it’s Rafe, are you surprised?” you said with a heavy sigh.

“No, not really,” Topper admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know why you keep up with him, Y/N.”

“I ask myself that all the time…” you said with a deep sigh. “But I love him, so I guess that’s the answer.”

“And? I mean, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ Y/N, but he’s…” Topper trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.

“I know exactly how he is, Topper, I don’t need you to remind me. I already think about that way too much.”

You and Topper had easily assumed that Rafe was no longer around, since he seemed to be making his best efforts to avoid you.

But Rafe was there, and he heard everything. He’d heard Topper giving you bad advice (or what he considered bad advice) And he heard you, having doubts about why you loved him or stood by him at all,and it made him want to lash out again.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

[+18. Really]

“Leave me alone!” his voice boomed in the room, his brows furrowed and the veins in his neck were popping out.

“Rafe—“ you tried once again, approaching slowly in an attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but he waved it away aggressively.

“Leave-me-alone,” he said, pausing in between each word to emphasize on how much he meant it. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose had specks of white dust, his lips were dry and his voice was coarse.

You weren’t entirely sure what you could say to get him to calm down. Or if there was anything at all you could do.

Normally, what upsets him the most is Ward. His own father. Rafe has spent his whole life trying to prove he's a good son, to make his father proud, and Ward never appreciates his efforts, only notices the bad, and ignores Rafe's clear calls for help, has since Rafe was 10 years old, so he certainly wasn't going to pay attention to him now that Rafe finally had a steady girlfriend, someone who had willingly decided to help.

95% of the time, you managed to talk to Rafe before he decided to resort to intoxication. Most of the time just seeing you helped him calm down, hearing your voice soothed him, and your lips, your skin, put him in a state of peace.

But the other 5% is when Rafe resorted to alcohol and, above all, drugs.

When Rafe is upset and decides to get high, he only manages to become unstable, erratic and yes, aggressive if not handled with care.

In those situations, the best thing you can do, putting yourself first, is to give him his space. Let him screw himself as much as he wants for that day, and help him deal with the consequences the next day, while you listen to him lament his attitude.

Rafe always said he would quit the vice; claiming you were all he needed to calm himself down, that you made him feel at peace. And above all, that you weren't slowly killing him; on the contrary, every minute he spent with you made him feel more alive.

However, for one reason or another, he always came back to it. Whether it was at a party, because Kelce suggested it, or, as is almost always the case, when he's upset with his father and needs quick relief.

And usually, this ‘quick relief’ ends up with Rafe fucked up, big time.

Once he was convinced that you wouldn't try to intervene again, Rafe went back to his business. He turned to the table, and since he already had the line ready, he simply leaned over and inhaled it, throwing his head back, running his hand through his hair and exhaling as he closed his eyes.

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head as you stared at your feet. You knew he would struggle to quit, after all it is an addiction and he has to fight it, but sometimes you get the impression that Rafe doesn't want to quit, not really.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Rafe eventually, turning his head to look at you. You didn't know if it was a trick question or not, so you hesitated before answering. "Answer me."

"Yes, of course I want to, Rafe." you replied with your respective hesitations, wondering what he was up to.

"Come here then," he said, making a 'come hither’ sign with his fingers.

You took a hesitant step but stopped, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed Rafe, trying to determine his intentions.

He raised both eyebrows in your direction, in a silent question of whether or not you're going to go with him.

Eventually you walked over to where Rafe was, he smiled at you while biting his lip lightly. Without saying anything he approached you and kissed you; the drugs made his senses heighten, so the kiss was intense from the beginning.

So that's when it made sense to you what he wanted, he wanted you. Your most obvious thought is that he would use you to take out your frustration, put the drugs aside and, most likely, fuck you.

Your idea seemed to be the right one as soon as Rafe grabbed you by the waist, still with his lips on yours, left a little bite on your lip before pulling away; and without any problem, lifted you off the floor and placed you on the table.

It's something you wouldn't admit out loud,—mostly out of shame and guilt,—but this kind of sex with Rafe was the best, he's completely unrestrained, rough, full of stamina and teasing, and above all, possessive. And that, in combination with his attractiveness, always drove you crazy.

And honestly; if what he wanted was to fuck you to take out his frustration, you'd let him.

His kisses were hungry and his hands desperate, running all over your body without distinction, as if he didn't know where to start.

He parted his lips from yours, and left a kiss at the corner of them, on your jaw; and began to make a little trail of slow kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck made you bite your lip as you wrapped your legs around his waist to feel him closer.

You slid your hand under his shirt, caressing his defined abs and the sides of his body gently with the tips of your fingers, as he left little bites on your neck. Your hands slowly moved up, intending to remove his shirt, but Rafe was quicker and brought his hands to the edge of your shirt, causing you to stop your movements to raise your arms, so he could remove your shirt with ease. And so he did.

He parted his lips from your neck and stared at you, the hunger in his eyes made you feel a fire in the pit of your stomach that only he could put out.

Desperately, your lips connected again as he settled between your legs. One of his hands traveled to your neck, and he wrapped his fingers around it, pressing lightly to the sides. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head; though he couldn't see it.

With just enough strength, Rafe used the grip he had on your neck to push you down onto the table, so that you were lying on top of it.

As soon as he leaned over the table, you could feel his breath over abdomen, so you bit your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

He began to leave slow, wet kisses on your abdomen, making a slow trail to the edge of your shorts. Your automatic reaction was to close your eyes and put a hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

What you didn’t know is that the fact that you closed your eyes had given Rafe an opportunity he couldn't miss. Without you noticing, he slid a hand to the side of the table, where the small bag of white powder was.

To conceal his actions, he unbuttoned your shorts, and returned his lips to the beginning of your abdomen for more time.

The little bite he left to distract your attention caused a gasp to escape your lips; and that sound almost caused him to change plans completely.

He did want to fuck you, don’t get him wrong. He even had a mental debate about whether to continue what he was doing or simply sink his head between your thighs and provoke more sounds like that.

But he wanted to try something first. He had always wanted to try it, but had never asked you, because he knew that you would most likely say no.

With ease, he slid your shorts down your legs; so that they stayed at your ankles or fell to the floor; he didn't care. One of his hands slid into your underwear with ease, his fingers going straight to where he knew you needed him the most.

Trusting that you would not open your eyes, carefully, he put the white substance on your body, so delicately you didn’t notice. He began to prepare to inhale, while biting his lip in reaction to the sinful sounds that left your lips.

And obviously, without warning, Rafe inhaled a line from your thigh.

And all your sounds stopped, your eyes opened and your expression was filled with surprise, the bad kind.

You couldn't believe what Rafe had just done, you felt like an idiot for falling into the trap.

You also had to bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan in reaction to what his fingers were doing in between your legs, but your pride forbade it.

But more than anything else, you were outraged.

“Rafe, you did not just—“

“It felt nice, yeah?” Rafe’s voice was hoarse, you could feel his breath over your skin, as he left little kisses around. “After all, I did feel you clench around my fingers.”

His dirty words, hoarse voice, and close proximity to your body, not to mention his fingers deep inside you, caused you to let out a soft moan, causing Rafe to smirk in what he thought was victory.

But you wouldn't let him win this little game.

Although you really didn't want to, you grabbed his hand by the wrist and pulled him away, your legs trembling slightly at the sudden lack of anything between them.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as you pushed him away from you and got off the table, lifting your shorts off the floor and putting them back on without a word.

"What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, as you searched for your shirt, feeling his heavy gaze on your body.

"Y/N, where do you think you're going?"

“I’m leaving you alone as you asked me to, remember?” you said in irony. “Before you sniffed a line off me after I begged you to quit that shit?”

“Oh, so now you’re playing the victim?” his voice rose. “Don't- Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have let me fuck you less than a minute ago!”

"Yes I would have let you, to distract you from that shit!" you admitted to him, failing to control your anger. "I said I wanted to help you, to distract you, to give you something different to do. Not that I'd give you another place to snort lines from!"

Rafe knew you were right, of course he did.

You had spent months after months trying to get him to quit, you had offered him countless hours of your days to give him something new to do, distractions, attention and love. And this is how he had decided to pay you back?

But Rafe was angry too, very. You had interrupted him, you were yelling at him; and you had left him so hard, that it would start to hurt unless he did something about it.

“Fine, then get the fuck out of here.” Rafe spat, his anger clearly getting the best of him.

Your eyes widened at that, you hadn't expected him to react like that.

Your best case scenario would be that your attitude would piss him off, yes, but that he would retaliate by getting you back to the table and showing you everything you were missing.

Instead, he simply took your word for it and told you to get out of the room.

“What?”

“You heard me, get out.”

“Rafe—“

“You uh, you have three options, yeah? You let me fuck you over that table and do whatever I want, you get out of here, or I’ll get you out of here.”

The first offer was tempting, it really was, but you wouldn’t allow him to talk to you like that. Before anything, came respect and dignity, and no matter how much you wanted him to fuck you silly, you were too angry and disappointed at him to let it slip.

Blinking repeatedly to chase away the tears from your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the other end of the table, your jacket from Rafe's bed, and walked out of there without another word as you heard him calling your name.

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your relationship with Rafe was unique.

Not because of the circumstances in which it was created. A one-night-stand that turned into something casual, that was formalized after a dinner.

If not for Rafe.

You loved him, no doubt about it. You would give anything to see him happy and at peace, at peace with himself and succeeding in his life.

Rafe would do anything for you, really, anything. No matter how risky, demanding or dangerous, he would do anything for you.

He would die and kill for you.

But that surely didn’t mean it was an easy relationship, hell no. In fact, the willingness both of you had to do anything for each other sometimes made things too complicated; for at times it seemed that not a single rational thought crossed your minds.

And yes, Rafe’s addiction was a big issue. Whenever he was too high, or going through withdrawals, he wasn’t the Rafe you knew or had grown to love, it was another side of him you wanted to help get rid off. And the process wasn’t easy.

While trying to get clean; there was no way to know how he’d behave. He could either get clingy and want you around at all times to calm himself down, or he’d be in a very bad mood all the time, constantly snapping at you and raising his voice.

So there were days where he’d walk you to the door of your house and leave you there with a tender kiss and a smile.

Or days when you’d get out of his truck without a word, with tears streaming down your cheeks while he kept yelling for probably the stupidest thing.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

'It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Rafe knew he wasn’t okay. After all, he had begged his father for help, begged for anything that would get those thoughts to stop, but his father hadn’t listened, had only told him to ‘man up.’

You knew he wasn’t okay. Which is why you wanted to help him, to offer the support no one else had bothered to give him before he met you.

Whether he wanted it or not, those thoughts were still there. Being with you made them easier to ignore, but it’s not like they vanished entirely. He still had some ideas that made his own skin crawl.

And sometimes, you’d say or do the wrong thing and trigger those thoughts. And things got bad again for him.

Rafe knew you wanted nothing but to help him get better and be the best version of himself, and he really wanted to give you that. To change and make an effort. Not only for himself but for you. He wanted to be a man worthy of your love.

But it was hard to be anywhere near decent when you two went out and a guy stared at you for longer than Rafe’s limits allowed, or when guys tried to hit on you, when his friends got a little bit too close for his comfort.

Whenever he got jealous, he turned into a walking, talking ticking bomb. Anything could, and would set him off.

It wasn’t your fault, not really, but most of the time you felt it was. You knew Rafe dealt with a lot of insecurities already, of not being a nice person, not being good enough and so many other things. And you hated being one of the factors that caused his insecurities to arise.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

It was a complicated relationship, and it would probably never stop being complicated because both of you are complex people, plus there are other factors that affect the relationship.

But that didn't mean either of you would stop fighting to keep it alive. Neither would let the other go.

Rafe utterly refused to ever let you go. He loved you as he had never loved anyone, as he never thought himself capable of loving with that twisted heart of his.

You are, without exception, the best thing in his life, the best thing that ever happened to him. And you being in his heart was slowly turning him into who he had wanted to be during all those years of loneliness.

And you would never let him go, because you loved him with all your heart, soul and nerve of your body. And because you know that no one will ever love you like him. With so much passion, intensity, honesty and purity.

Because every feeling Rafe expressed with you was true; he was himself with you. And you didn't want to let him go.

Even if the two of you went one step forward, and three steps back, that single step would be longer than any step life makes you take backwards.

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mysticalrambling · 3 years ago

Text

Ending It All Part 2 (C.E)

A/N: Here you go guys. Much awaited part 2 is here. I am so in love with this particular fan fiction and hope you guys like it. If you want me to write any blurbs related to this series, do let me know.I am open to requests.

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Part 1

Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Chris regrets divorcing you and he tries to mend the relationship. However, you have already moved on with Tom Hiddleston and are quite happy. He has to just stand back while you and your children become closer to Tom and it is all his fault.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

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“Coming in?” Chris turned his face towards you with a questioning look in his eyes.

“No, I have some work. Just wanted to drop the kids off myself.” Your ex husband’s house was on your way so you just saved him a trip.

“Not even for coffee, darling?”

“Sorry but I will have to say no.” You still got flustered when he called you with nicknames. You had once decided to tell him to stop calling you with all these terms of endearment but you couldn’t build up the courage to do it.

It has been over a year since your divorce and the moment you think you are over him, he is right there to bring those feelings back. You were a mess when he moved out and you had to see him on the weekends for the kids. It looked like you were drowning and you couldn’t come up for fresh air. It was exhausting but after several months, it didn’t hurt that much. It didn’t feel like your heart was tearing into shreds. You felt numb but that was better than feeling like your heart was being ripped out of your chest.

“That’s fine. See you Sunday?”

These were the only few sentences that were spoken between the two of you since the divorce. This was your new normal and you were starting to adjust to it. “Yeah, bye.”

“Who wants pancakes?” Sighing, he turned around and asked in a fake, cheerful voice. He didn’t get to be disappointed. These were the the seeds that he sow and he had to reap the results.

“I do.” A collective chorus came from the living room as they had already started to play with Dodger. Dodger was adopted from a shelter home about two weeks into the divorce. Loneliness was a destructive force and Chris hadn’t come to that realization until he was sitting in his home at eight, all alone. No laughter, no mess, no companionship. He went out that day and got a new dog. The apartment was eating him alive because it was a reminder of his ‘new life’. More like his ruined life.

“Daddy, you goin’ to be there for my match?” Jace looked up at his father and hoped that he wasn’t going to say no. There have been too many occasions this past year where he was not there for his children like Easter or Mia’s first day of school. He was either too busy with his career or he couldn’t bear to be with his family knowing that he wouldn’t be going home with them. He wasn’t strong enough to handle that truth.

“I’ll be there but I have work afterwards so I can only be there for half time.” The apologetic tone was all too familiar to the kids now so they just stayed quiet.

Chris noticed their disappointed look and continued, “When I get back, we’ll go to Disneyland for the whole weekend.”

“Mommy and Tommy will be going as well?”

Stopping in between making the pancakes, he asked with a venom laced tone, “Tommy who, Jace?”

“Mommy’s new friend. We like him.” Your son continued petting the dog without realizing the damage he is doing to his father. “New friend” was always a code for boyfriend and Chris didn’t know what to do with that information.

He knew that you had gone on a few dates with Tom Hiddleston because of the paparazzi. But he didn’t know that you both were serious. Your kids knew about him so it was pretty damn serious.

“He won’t be going with us.” Speaking with finality, he resumed cooking. You were his and that was not going to change. He knew he was being unfair but when it came to you, he lost all rationality.

“But he is our new dad.” Mia whined from her place and Chris just looked at her with a wounded look. His babygirl was putting someone else in his place.

His voice boomed throughout the house and both the kids looked at him with tears in their widened eyes, “I’m your only dad. Don’t you ever say that.”

“‘m sorry, daddy. Didn’t mean to make you mad.” Her chin wobbled and Chris was quick to realize his mistake. It was not your children’s fault. It was not your fault. It was his fault.

“Not your fault, baby. But you only have one daddy and that’s me.” Kissing her forehead, he wiped the single tear that managed to escape her blue eyes.

“’kay.” The kids got distracted again but Chris did not forget. He was still seething from the inside because Tom may have taken you away from him but he damn well couldn’t take his children.

They all get ice cream afterwards and the kids fall asleep in their rooms that Chris built from scratch. It was a lengthy process because he just kept remembering the times when he decorated their nursery with you. Such a beautiful memory and he was ruining it. The guilt ate him up inside when he realized that he may not get to ever decorate a nursery for your children again. He may not get to expand his family with you again. Again, it was his fault.

“Sorry, ‘m late. Work was hectic today.” Everything was so busy today because your boss signed up a new contract and he has been impossible to work with. You just wanted to go home and sleep for the whole week.

“It’s okay. They’re sleepin’ upstairs. Listen, we need to talk.” He was too consumed by anger and hurt to notice that you were too exhausted for everything.

“Go on.” You urged him, figuring that he might say that he won’t be able to make it to your son’s match. This was what most of your conversations were based on; him saying that he is too busy to be present at occasions related to your children.

“Why are my children referring to your boyfriend as dad?” He nothing but spat that sentence.

“I- I didn’t know about any of this. I’ll talk to them.” Stuttering, you tried to mediate the situation but nothing seemed to get through to him at the moment.

“No need. I already did that but for next time, keep your boyfriends away from my children.”

“Our children and I don’t let anyone near my children. We are serious.” You were offended by his crude tone and you weren’t just going to let him walk all over you.

“You can’t be serious with him. As a matter of fact, you can’t be serious with anyone.” Your ex husband declared it like it was a law. He didn’t know how to react to what you said. All the pain was converted into anger because that was his current form of expression.

“Are you serious?” This was all too much for you to handle. How could he say that?

“Yes. You only belong with me. I regret it so much (Y/N).” Chris’s expressions told you where he was going.

“Oh, stop. You can’t just do that. Can’t come bargin’ in my life and mess it all up again. I am happy.”

Chris reached out his hand but you took a step back. He was not allowed to touch you anymore. “I was mistaken. My career is not above you, darlin’. Never was.”

“You made me feel worthless. You made me feel as if I was the reason our marriage ended. Won’t allow myself to get sucked back into this relationship.”

“I know I broke our family. I tore us apart and didn’t even apologize for it properly. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” There was a stream of tears running down his face and you wanted to wipe them away but you resisted.

There were still times when you wished that you were still happily married to Chris. That you still had your perfect, little family. The divorce made you feel worthless and lonely. There were times when you couldn’t even look at your children because they were the exact replica of your ex husband. You once adored the fact that they were his carbon copy. However, now you couldn’t help but get angry. How could he leave little pieces of himself behind and think that you could move on with your life.

It was all because you were with another man. He never said all these things when you were alone and you suffered from depression. There were days when you couldn’t get out of bed to get your kids ready for school. You knew that Jace had informed him because he was really worried about you and he always shared his troubling thoughts with Chris. But he didn’t do anything about it. He stayed quiet and you had to pull all the pieces back together yourself. It was all tape and glue. Your ex husband didn’t get to come back and dismantle your progress. You wouldn’t let him.

“You can’t do this. Can’t come back. I am with Tom now so stop trying to fix things that you already broke.” Your face was red with anger and all the energy was drained out of your body.

“Please, just give me a chance.”

“No!” You couldn’t choose Chris again. You had to choose yourself. You chose to think about your needs and your feelings for the first time in seven years. That’s why you agreed to go on a date with Tom. He surpassed your expectations the first time and you knew that he could be your partner. No one could compare to Chris but Tom made his own place in your heart and you were glad about it. You continued on, “Tom is good for me so please don’t ruin my happiness again.”

Tom was great. He was good with the kids and he was slowly becoming an integral part of your life. You still missed Chris because that man was the love of your life for seven years and those feelings can’t just disappear with a single piece of paper. You were glad to have Tom in your life and you knew that as time would pass, you will love him with your whole heart. However, a small part of you would never forget Chris and would always wonder about the what ifs. What if you were still together? What if you had more children? What it you got to grow old together? Broken dreams are what hurts the most.

“I don’t want to be a cause of that. Not again. But I want to make things right.” He unintentionally came closer to you, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Sorry I wasn’t there for our kids. Sorry that I broke you, baby.”

“A sorry doesn’t fix anything.” His chest was hallowing from inside out but he didn’t want to back down. Not now. Not ever.

“Just answer one question for me. Are you truly happy?” A tremble was prominent in his voice but you tried to ignore it.

“I-I am. For a long time, I wasn’t but I am now.” You spoke with such conviction that he knew you were over him.

You would always love Chris but now it was time for you to move on with your life. It was time to leave the past and delve into the future. Chris would always own a piece of your heart but you are going to allow Tom to have an opportunity as well. You will open your heart again to love. You were sure now.

“Okay. I will get the kids for you.” He backed off like he promised he would. You knew at that moment that it was all over.

Watching you drive away with his kids was heart breaking for him and he just watched helplessly. Chris still wanted to cry, beg and apologize. He wanted you to take him back but it was all his fault. He ruined you once, he couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t interrupt your new life. It doesn’t all revolve around him but he was okay to remain on the sidelines while you enjoy your life. He will be there for you if you needed him.

You are happy and that should be enough for him but he wants to be selfish again. He wants to fight for you but it’s all too late. You were with someone else. He lost his chance.

Wednesday rolled in pretty quickly and Chris dreaded going to the match. You were going to be there with your new boyfriend but he didn’t want to miss his son’s game. He could only be there till half time already so it wouldn’t be that awkward.

“I just wanted to be here for Jace. Won’t cause any problems.” Chris took a seat beside Mia when he saw you shifting uncomfortably. The seat that should have belonged to him was currently being occupied by your boyfriend but Chris just bottled up all his feelings. It was not right to still think of you as his wife.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget about everything.” You wanted to move on and did not want anything to hold you back.

“Okay. Mia, you want Kit Kat?” Offering her a large chocolate bar, he started talking with his daughter so that he could distract himself from you and Tom.

��What is happening, love?” Tom questioned when he saw that his former co-star did not even glance at him properly.

Chris and Tom were not the best of buds but they were still good acquaintances. He thought that dating you wouldn’t be a problem because Scarlett had informed him that Chris was the one who asked for divorce. However, this situation made him realize that Chris was jealous. He still had feelings for you and Tom didn’t know how to react to that.

“Nothing of importance. Let’s just focus on my baby boy.” Saying that, you cheered for Jace as he made his first goal. He was an exceptional player like his father and you knew that he would pursue football as his career. Jace was really passionate about football. If Chris didn’t become an actor then he would have definitely tried out for football.

There were times when he used to take you to the park so you would play with him. It was your thing. Maybe he had replaced you with someone by now as well but what you didn’t know was that Chris had stopped playing football altogether. Like many things in his life, it reminded him of you and it was just too much to bear.

“You are doing great, buddy.”Jace immediately asked Chris to pick him up as you gave him his Captain America water bottle. It was half time and Chris had to leave for shooting. He was getting late but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Thank you, mommy. Ollie doesn’t listen to me that much so coach is angry at him.” Babbling on, he rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Okay, buddy. I have to leave now but I will call you when your game is finished.”

“Won’t be going with us to Chick-fil-A?”

“Uhh-” He cluelessly glanced at you because he didn’t know what his son was talking about.

“I wanted to give him a treat after the match.” Tom butted into the conversation to prove that he was a part of the kid’s lives as well.

Chris could have actually made it to the restaurant because he would be free in an hour tops. However, he decided against it. He had to take a step back for you. Of course, he would be there for his children but Tom should be given a fair chance as well.

“I won’t be able to make it buddy. You enjoy with Mommy and Tom. I’ll take you and Mia to Disneyland this weekend as I promised.”

“Okay, daddy. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” Giving him to you, he turned to leave. It was hard for him to do this but it had to be done. Chris wiped his eyes discreetly as he saw you all laughing together. This was his fault and he would have to bear the consequences.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: This story had me in tears from the very start. I cried when I was writing it. Again, I am open to blurbs for this series and other requests. Tell me if you want to be added to my tag list.

Tag list: @peculiarpenman, @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile, @iguessweallcrazyithinktho, @jessyballet, @caanyoonmoon, @coldmuffinpartycloud, @marvelfansworld, @agnesk, @lauracontisstuff, @deepintothenature, @xcaptain-winterx, @nostxlgia18, @sophiaedits , @luckyladycreator2, @mrspeacem1nusone

Like, comment and reblog.

P.S. If you want blurbs and epilogue related to this series, please send in requests. I will need some ideas.

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631 notes · View notes

soulwillower · 3 years ago

Text

housesitting • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: no

had this in my drafts and figured i’d finish it and post it, sorry for being away, but idk if i’ll keep writing! hope you enjoy, i’ll prob still come back and update/post fics on this account on occasion. love u guys lots and i hope you’re all doing okay <3333

warnings: drinking, unprotected sex, oral (fem and male receiving), light deepthroating/face fucking, praise kink, degradation, use of the words slut, whore, etc, suuuper unedited

(losers + reader are 21+.)

4.7k words

♡

the moment you stepped back into your flat, dropping your bag heavily on the ground with a sigh, you finally felt like you could breathe.

today and yesterday had been a nightmare - you and your roommate bill had gone home, planning to stay for a week with family and friends back home.

you'd spent the first night out with old friends at the bar enjoying yourselves and you'd even gone home with a handsome boy you'd had a crush on in high school. but just as he was about to go down on you, after you'd gone down on him despite how terrible his b.o. was, he said he wouldn’t because it was 'gross.'

you hate to admit but you were slightly tipsy and horny, so you still stayed for ten minutes of awful, boring missionary before he fell asleep. then when you'd left in the uber, a voice message from your boss threatened to fire you if you didn't come in and finish a project - so you had to scramble for a flight home, leaving bill back with your friends in maine for a few days, and now you're just ready for a shower, a nicely packed bowl, and a large dinner.

because good god, that was an awful trip.

"hello?" you call, rubbing your eyes as you walk towards your kitchen, wondering if your roommate's best friend was still here - he was supposed to stay and take care of the apartment while you were away.

but instead, your eyes landed on a complete mess in the kitchen; solo cups everywhere, trash, empty chip bags, furniture moved and counters sticky from spilt beer.

"what the fuck?" you project, eyes landing on the figure who walks into the kitchen, towel hanging low on his hips as water drips from wet, shaggy curls of hair. you meet the bright eyes of richie tozier, your roommate’s best friend.

he looks like a deer in headlights, his glasses slightly fogged as he blinks his eyes owlishly and you swear his eye lashes tangle together as he blinks. "oh, hey y/n, why are you here?"

and honestly, richie has always made your fingers tingle and your abdomen clench when he so much as looks at you, despite bill’s groaning and glaring when you refer to him as ‘hot friend number one.’ (he had a lot of hot friends).

but you’re wound up, stressed, frustrated, and exhausted so all you can do is look from the boy to the mess and then back, stunned, "this is my apartment."

he chuckles, wiping a drip of water off of his chest. you have to fight to look away, feeling burning from irritation and also something else as your chest heaves. you're just so tired, and this boy who you don't know very well has trashed your place and maybe even had a party and you just want to smoke and go to bed and-

"say, what are you doing back so soon, toots? thought i had the place to myself for the next five days." he says too casually, grinning like he's catching up with an old friend. his hand runs through his wet hair, droplets rolling down his bare skin and causing you to fight the urge to keep your eyes on his face.

you shake your head. "richie, why does my kitchen look like a scene from dexter?" you say, trying to keep yourself calm.

he tilts his head in an irksome, handsome way that makes you want to scream, "pretty sure dexter was....murdering murderers, not slamming smirnoff at three am." "clean it up! what gives you the nerve to have a party in someone else's fucking apartment? while they're gone?!" you yell, throwing your hands in the air. richie shrugs uncomfortably and you're briefly in shock at how much faith richie is putting in the small tuck he's made with the towel, barely keeping up on in his waist. he laughs somewhat nervously, "sheesh, doll, it would've been cleaned by sunday, you just surprised me and almost gave me a heart attack while i was in the shower. bill told me we could throw at your place as long as we were responsible." he sounds pretty genuine, but you're just so tightly wound and frustrated.

"well this," you gesture to your place, "is not responsible." you glare, "i'm going to shower. i've had a long fucking day, and when i get out the place better be fucking spotless and you better be gone. i'm not asking." you snap.

he grins as you push past him, turning to watch you storm towards the bathroom with an apologetic grimace on his face.

you took as long as you could in the shower, savoring every warm drop until you stepped out of your bathroom, expecting to see an empty apartment.

"what are you staring at?" the boy with the curls mutters as he fixes the wine glass he'd placed on the counter. you're pretty speechless as you look around, wondering how richie had managed to get your place more clean and inviting than how you'd left it. dishes are all clean, put away, the counters spotless; the oven is set with a timer for two hours, and the smell of lasagna invites your nose with a rumble of your stomach. two glasses of wine are poured, sitting at the counter as richie chews on his lip anxiously, hair glinting in the dark mood lighting from the lamp near the window.

"i felt bad. you seem like you had a long day and i didn't mean to make it worse." he admits.

you step forward, suddenly feeling hot as you watch him, his jaw clenched slightly and sharper than you remember it. he's actually really fucking beautiful, you realize.

"you didn't have to do all this." you say, biting your lip as you take the wine glass from his hand.

"i know." he says with a cocky smirk. your face feels hot as you watch him slide out the stools by your breakfast bar, sitting down and sipping on his own wine.

with a smile, you sit next to him. he was always the friend of bills that made you the most flustered - he's a tall, loud, garish bartender who spends most his time doing stand up at the clubs on the weekends even though he studied applied mathematics in school. he's the kind of boy that everybody has a crush on, because he's got that dorky yet beautiful sculpt; dark, curly locks, pale skin with a splattering of bright freckles. his eyes pierce yours whenever you're in the same room and his grin makes your stomach flip on it's head.

"so, why'd you come back early?" richie asks as he takes a sip, eyes staring at you brightly from behind the rim of the glass. you huff a small bitter laugh, "my boss told me i had to come back because we're understaffed. told me the extra hours are 'building charater' or something. but i was having a shitty trip anyways, so i may as well just volunteer my time."

he laughs, muttering, "good girl. doin' the lords work." you almost laugh but his words have heat sent straight between your legs and you can't tind words, suddenly in a state of shock. oh, god, this wine is getting to you.

richie's always been so hot, you're not surprised that one casual phrase had you so frantic like this. you blink, richie muttering, "y/n?" gently.

you shake your head, snapping to look at him, "y-yeah? sorry, i just- what did you say?" you're embarrassed. you're embarrassed because richie didn't even mean it like that and you didn't expect to like being called that by him and you're embarrassed because he knows now, god look at his smirk, you're done for.

"i asked why your trip was shit." he says simply, smirk on his face causing your face to heat up even more. you sigh, eyeing him, "i tried to enjoy myself and then i have the worst hookup experience of my life. then i came back to a messy apartment." you admit, shaking your head as richie pours you both another glass of wine, "the worst? that's a shame. what'd he do, throw up on you?"

you laugh, "no, nothing like that. he was a minute man, and he refused to..." you shake your head, wondering why you're admitting this to a guy you barely know. you've never hung out one-on-one before with him. "-he made me do all the work. and then he fell asleep. the worst part is, i've liked him since high school." you admit, dropping your face into your hands as richie lets out a chuckle.

richie's shaking his head, "see, those types are the ones who just shouldn't be allowed in the gene pool. lazy. missin' out on all the fun, especially with a gal like you." he says with a wink. you laugh, face feeling hot. "i'm no fun." you say bashfully.

richie raises his brows with a grin, his smile making you melt, heat pooling in between your legs from the way he runs his fingers across the rim of his glass. "i highly doubt that, doll."

his eyes dip down in a not-so-subtle way as he takes in your body, biting his lip and making you clear your throat with a heated face. "sorry you had to put up with a guy who couldn't fuck you the right way. and that your boss also fucked you. and that i ruined your night."

you shake your head, "i just had so much pent up stress from the last few days." he's eyeing you, and you wonder if he wants to fuck you as bad as you want to be fucked right now. would bill kill you? yeah, he would, but richie is so damn fine and you were left so high and dry last night that you’re just about ready to jump onto his lap.

as if reading your mind, richie hums, "bill's still in maine, yeah?" he asks casually, eyes fluttering to the timer on the oven that ready an hour.

you nod, "yeah, he's actually hanging out with the guy i hooked up with tonight." you say with a light huff. richie groans a laugh, "no fuckin' way. i promise, not all of bill's friends are bad at sex." richie says with a grin, and you laugh. "you sure about that?"

he hums, eyeing you but not responding.

“guess i’ll just have to find out.” you say boldly, butterflies fluttering in your chest when richie shoots you a deep look, slicking his lips through a smile. he hums, "so i don't get it, what was so bad about it?"

you sigh, "he wouldn't go down on me. said he was 'too tired' and ‘too much work’ then he wanted to lay down so i rode him for, like, five minutes and then he fell asleep."

richie's laughing, and you swat his arm as your face burns, "it's not funny! it's humiliating, richie."

he snorts, standing up to place your empty glasses in the sink, recycling the empty bottle. "sorry, doll. that's just shit. he should've at least had the decency to make you cum."

you almost choke on your spit at his bluntness, face blossoming and thighs tingling. "y-yeah."

"anyways, i can get going, if you'd like. guess i’m done being the house sitter. the lasagna will be done in an hour or so." he says with a nod, eyes staring at yours fiercely. you hum, standing up as richie walks closer. "or you could stay." you say, looking up at him from where he stands in front of you.

"you lonely or somethin', doll?" he rumbles lowly, lifting a brow. biting your lip, you swallow, "something like that." you say, lifting a challenging brow.

“so if it was stan here, or mike...” he starts, walking towards you until he’s close enough that you’re afraid he can hear your heart thump, “you’d want them to stay?”

you swallow dryly, “if bill lived with someone else, would you want to stay?” his smirk makes you clench your thighs. his long fingers raise and curl around your jaw, tilting your head back before tucking hair behind your ear. you swallow roughly, his hands are so big. his rings that he wears are thick and ice cold and feel so good against your warm face.

your heart pounds as he smirks, eyes challenging you. the waiting is killing you.

"you've got a pretty mouth." he whispers, sending shocks all around your body. "y-you've got a pretty everything." you stutter out, feeling extremely flustered and suddenly shy. "thanks, honey." he says with a laugh, making you feel even more bashful.

"y'know..." he drawls, hand settled on your neck, caressing your jaw, "i've wanted you since i first saw you."

you can't help the whimper as it falls from your lips. it's a small, shy noise of need and it makes richie beam a beautiful, sexy grin that has your knees weak. "please..." you whimper, eyes staring at his, the suspense making you anxious with need.

"please what?" he asks quietly, clearly loving the tense air. you almost roll your eyes, "kiss me." you say, rushed.

he pulls away slightly, giving you a stern look. “please.” he says, smirk creeping onto his face. you burn in slight humiliation because he knows what he’s doing.

“please kiss me, richie.” you finally say, swallowing.

"good girl." he says with a smirk and you feel like you're burning up under his gaze. but then he’s leaning in and his lips are on yours and wow, richie is a good kisser. he’s pulling you towards him tightly, hungrily; his teeth bite gently at your lower lip as his tongue swipes your own, pulling you into him. he was needy in the way he kissed you, a dominance in him that you're not surprised to find. you craved it, you craved him; and then he's pushing you back, up onto the stool as he moves between your legs.

his mouth is then marking your neck, claiming you, and you love it, the feeling of his teeth against your warm skin, the sweetness of his smile against you.

his hands brush up your thighs and past the hem of your shorts, legs spread so he’s pressed flush against you, his bulge so close to where you want him. "richie," you let out a mangled whimper, hair knotting in his soft curls. he laughs, lips finding your ear, "always wondered how you'd sound when i had you like this," he says quietly, "can't wait to hear what pretty noises you make when i'm inside you."

his fingers find the damp seat of your panties, dancing across it and making your legs shake with anticipation and neediness. you’re already a soaked, mewling mess as you grasp for him, hungry and needy and you want him closer, closer.

he pulls you off the stool, then, and you both stare at each other for a moment. he almost dies at the state of you; already fucked-out, hair mussed up and still wet, your eyes lidded and your lips kiss-swollen.

you can’t believe your eyes, richie’s curly hair fluffy from being freshly washed, the taste of wine on his lips, the freckles, the collarbone peeking from his collar, the smirk that could melt black ice. he looks like he could tear you apart. you hope he will.

“you’re hot.” you blurt.

he rushes at you again, melding your lips together with a searing hot kiss as he shoves you backwards towards the bedrooms.

"bill told me to stay away from you," richie says as he walks you down the hall, your feet nearly stumbling and shaky as you walk backwards, lips seeking his every moment, "he said i'd ruin you." he adds.

you lift a brow, too flustered to say anything as you stare up at richie, inhaling sharply as his hand trails down to cup your ass lightly, still walking backwards. "he knows how pretty i think you are. how hot, how... perfect." he whispers into the skin of your neck, raising goosebumps. "but i want to fuck you so well you forget your name. i don't care about what bill wants."

you look at him, desperate and needy. "i don't give a fuck what bill says. i want you, please." you say, pawing richie and kissing him needily. richie’s leaving dark love bites on the column of your neck and you know it's wrong, and you shouldn't, but you let him kick open the door into bill's room, guiding you to bill’s bed instead of yours. “please, wan’ you so bad,” you pant, the needy throbbing getting unbearable, desperate for some release.

“how bad, pretty girl?” he asks, smoothing down your hair. biting your lip, you sit on the bed, eyes level with the zipper of his pants. the sight of you staring up at him from below his hard, clothed cock makes his pants feel even tighter and he hums, "you sure?"

you nod enthusiastically, "wanna make you feel good, please." he lets out a soft noise as your hands go to pull down his fly, “filthy girl." he says lowly, making heat drip from your core. you shift, trying to relieve some pressure. you feel hot when you realize you want him to degrade you, that you love it. “god, say that again.” you moan, mouthing around his bulge. his hands come to caress your face, watching you,

"you like being my little whore, huh? so good just for me. bet you’ve thought of my cock in your mouth before, haven’t you?"

you nod, biting your lip. he grins and you’re moving to pull him out of his pants, trying to conceal your shocked face as you take in his size. your cheeks heat up, hand grazing his length and meeting his own hand as he pumps himself a few times, lining his tip up to your lips.

“open.” he says simply and you comply willingly, laying your tongue out. he’s teasing his cock on your tongue and you’re whining, desperate to feel him in your mouth, to make him feel good.

“just wait until i say so, baby.” he says, slapping your tongue lightly with his cock and making you shift on your legs, dripping wet.

he groans, one hand coming to hold your head softly, making you tingle. you watch as he stares at you, lips parted and eyes blown wide. his cock is glistening with precum as it lays on your tongue. “suck my cock pretty girl.” he mutters, caressing your cheek. so you close your lips, slowly sucking on his tip before taking a bit more, moving your head slowly.

you lick a stripe up the base of his cock and up to his tip, swirling your tongue. he groans in relief and pleasure as you take as much of him into your mouth as possible slowly, bobbing your head and taking as much in as you can. he’s bigger than anyone you’ve been with before, and the need to feel him inside you and to make him fall apart has you taking him as deep as you can.

you take him deeper, your eyes clouding with tears as you try not to gag and he hums, hands pulling your hair from your eyes - you can tell he’s straining not to buck his hips as you bob up and down on him.

“god, you feel so good, y/n.” he groans. you pull back, sucking on his tip as you swirl your tongue, catching your breath. his hands fall to your head and he gently, slowly thrusts his hips slightly. you gag, mouth wet as he pulls out of your mouth and wipes the trails of spit from your lips. “do it again, please.” you gasp, and he grins. “such a slut.”

he guides your face back to him, “tap me three times if it’s too much.” you take him in again, holding as long as you can and loving the way he’s thrusting into your mouth. he groans, both hands on your head, his chest rising and falling shakily.

"god, that’s so perfect. my good little toy.” he rumbles and your chest flutters. you feel him twitch and you sense he may be close, so you start to bob your head again.

he stops you, "no, pretty girl. i'm going to cum inside of you, okay?" you swallow, mouth dry, "okay." please.

he sinks to his knees, gently pushing you so you're laying down on the bed again, pulling your legs so they hang off the side of the mattress. he's pulling your shorts off, your underwear following as he spreads your legs wider, kissing your thighs. “look at that pretty pussy. soaked, all for me.”

you're breathing shakily as one finger rises to gently rub your slit, making you moan softly. his touch is feathery-light, teasing you and making you whine, moving your hips. "shhh." he says softly, bringing his tongue to lick up your slit. you moan out, relieved to have some sort of satisfaction. richie's hand moves up to push up your top, thumbing your nipples as he starts to suck your clit. he pins your hips down, "be a good slut and stay still for me." he says, burying his face as your toes start to curl in pleasure, the burning sensation of pleasure increasing.

he rubs circles into your hips with one hand as he slides two fingers into your heat, making you whimper, his fingers start to pick up pace as he continues to circle your clit with his tongue. his long fingers curl up inside of you, still pushing into you fast and rough, hitting your g-spot. you moan, “richie, harder, please.”

he hums, lifting his head as you gasp for breath, "since you asked so nicely, doin' everything i say." his fingers are moving again, faster than before. his tongue runs over your clit, practically moaning into your heat, fingers moving faster. you moan unabashedly, feeling yourself clench and knowing you're about to cum. your legs wrap around his shoulders as your hips move slightly,

“cum on my tongue like a good little slut, okay baby?” he says gently. you moan, eyes shutting as you see stars. you're hitting your high and then richie's watching you, praising you as you fall apart, letting out soft whimpers.

then you're sitting up as he rises from his knees, licking his lips. pulling him into a searing kiss, he crawls on top of you, rutting into you a few times before pulling back.

he's pulling himself out of his pants and you swallow around your words, resisting the shocked face that threatens to creep on to you when you see how big he is. you moan as you watch him pump himself, pulling off his shirt as you pull off your own.

he grins as he looks at you, "so good for me, my little slut. you want me to fuck you now?" he asks and you eagerly pull yourself up to your elbows, "yes, please, rich, fuck me."

he hums, pushing his cock against your slit, the tip rubbing your sensitive clit and making you moan sharply. he continues to tease you, one hand on his cock and the other holding your waist. "use me, please." you whisper in his ear, hand holding him to you from the back of his neck.

he lets out a sharp breath, hand snaking to your neck and pushing you back onto the mattress. "you want me to use you?" he asks, thrusting against you slowly, teasing your slit. "like my little plaything?"

"yes, god, richie, please-" but then he's sliding into you all at once, his large cock stretching you as he moves his hips, sheathing into you. you feel so full that all you can do is gasp, richie kissing your forehead as his hand rests on your throat. "gonna fuck you on bill's bed, okay? and you're gonna be good for me, right? my good little cockslut."

you nod yes, "so good for you." you say, and he smiles. he starts to pull out, easing back in and starting a shallow rhythm, getting you used to his size. you're euphoric as he starts to languidly pump into you, one hand on your neck and the other on your chest, palming your tit.

he starts thrusting into you, picking up speed - rough and fast. his hips buck up against you, pulling back fully before filling you up. his thumb gently grazes your sensitive clit and you grip his bare back, raking your nails down in pleasure. "do you walk around thinking of how it'd feel to get fucked by me, baby?" he whispers in your ear as he pounds you into the mattress. you moan, "yes, r-rich, i've wanted you for s-so long," you trail off into a moan. "feels so good." you mutter, panting, words babbling from your mouth incoherently.

you barely have a warning before you cum a second time, clenching so hard that richie's hips sstutter, his moan ringing with your own. he looks down at you, thumb trailing into your open mouth, you eagerly sucking on it like a lollipop. "god, you're so tight, doll. such a good little whore for me. i bet you'd let me do anything to you, anywhere."

your legs are shaking as he keeps thrusting you through your orgasm, feeling sensitive and euphoric. he smirks, "yeah? bet you'd let me fuck you anywhere, just my little fuck toy. so perfect for me."

you nod, kissing him needily, tears from oversensitivity pricking your eyes. "want you filling me up richie, feels so good."

"anywhere?" he asks, eyebrows knit in pleasure as he fucks into you. he's so possesive, it makes your face warm. you nod, "anywhere."

he's smirking, and you know he's thinking about how shocked bill would be if he found out. it makes it that much hotter as you turn and see the picture of bill and richie on the wall near the door.

then richie pulls out of you and you're being flipped onto your knees, richie's large hand pushing your face towards the soft sheets. you can't help the moans that escape you as he spits onto your dripping cunt, fingers playing with your used pussy as you moan, sensitive and still desperate. "pretty baby, all fucked out. can you take one more?" he asks, hands roaming your ass. you nod, yelping gently when a hand smacks down on your ass.

"can you take one more?" he asks. "yes!" you moan into the mattress with need. he mutters, "good girl." as he pushes into you, the new angle making you moan loudly. with every thrust, he pushes you down on the mattress, making you grip against the edge of it with pleasure. one of his hands drops down to rub your clit, and you buck needily against his touch. after only a few minutes, the combination of the snap of his hips, the few slaps on your ass, and his hands on your clit push you over the edge, clenching around his cock as you whimper. your legs barely stay up after you cum, and his arm wraps around you to hold you as he pounds into you, chasing his own high.

"yes, my pretty girl, so good." he praises again, hips speeding up. you think he's close because his breathing is faster, hands gripping your hips hard as he kisses down your spine, "take it." he whispers onto your back as he finally cums, pulling out and finishing on your ass and lower back, moaning lightly.

you can't believe what just happened as richie disappears, returning at the speed of light with a damp washcloth to clean you off. you blush at how sweet the gesture is before he falls next to you on the bed, sighing. "i'll be honest, i didn't expect that."

you laugh, "neither did i. i thought i was coming home to an empty apartment and some microwave ramen."

he's staring at you, a smirk on his face, “i'd apologize again but holy fuck, you look so pretty when you cum.” you don't know what to say, feeling hot as you roll your eyes with a grin. he laughs and kisses you, “you’re cute, you know.”

"says you." you mutter against his lips. you thank god bill won't be back soon as you watch his best friend rise, naked, from beside you and grab a spare hoodie and gym shorts from bill's closet, throwing them on before handing you his own shirt to wear.

"so, lasagna?" he asks, glasses askew slightly. you laugh as you stand on shaky legs, "it's the least you could do." you joke.

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#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #losers club smut #losers x reader

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