#i LOVE BEN angst

[fricc-darn]

Warning for abuse involving teens and adults (mental and physical), poor mental health, and just upsetting topics

None of them asked for this life, not in the slightest. Not one person was prepared for this to be the outcome of their ascension. Everyone wanted to go home. Whatever was left behind of their old lives, they'd gladly choose anything but this. It seemed like each day, someone new would be added to the system. So many people with their aspirations and desires ripped away from them. It was a cycle of tragedy.

The lives they had lived were difficult, cruel, and shameful. Being utterly disenfranchised meant that society would turn a blind eye to the most vulnerable. It made them easy targets, to be picked off the street like ripened berries. They were lulled into this fellowship with false promises of self-improvement and community.

To be told that the pain they felt was nothing but a wound that would soon heal with tougher skin. With guidance, their gifted potential would shine through. Every single person involved had a purpose. To live a devoted life to Luna's cause. An eternity of paradise awaited them after death.

The day of true enlightenment would come when midnight whispers came to them sweetly. When it happens, death shouldn't be feared but embraced, as they have surpassed this life. That is when this world and all of its unfairness would come to an end. They would survive. She had chosen for them to live. It had given them hope.

But those whispers never came. Yet, people were told their time had come.

If only they had known that they would be used as some kind of lab rat. Everyone's naiveté and what remained of their childlike wonder were weaponized against them repeatedly. Having their bodies humiliated in the name of spirituality. Their flesh was mangled by barbarism and left to rot. Ultimately, they would never be treated with the deserved humanity, even after death. If only they had known to stop feeding into the lies.

They were worn thin. Was anything they were taught real? It had to be, to some degree. This world was supposed to be salvation, but the skepticism couldn't be helped. They did what they were supposed to. Cleansing the filth that tainted their souls. Putting what little confidence they had left into Luna. A perfect fairytale for this never-ending nightmare. Maybe life would have been kinder if they weren't deeply troubled individuals. Loving parents? A stable environment? Better physical and mental health? Anything?

Yet, what could anyone do about what was said and done? This was a prison for tortured souls.

Not only were their experiences shared, but now so were their pain, their sadness, and their anger. A collective burning resentment felt so heavy that they wondered if they were all from the same womb. As if this was the family they craved.

They were one. With themselves and everyone in their...group. Expressing a newfound tenderness towards each other during their troubles. For some, memories were being stripped and forgotten after a few days. Others desperately clung on to what they could remember. The ability to live on after death was a true gift as much as it was a curse. A second chance, if you will. Was this a gift from man or Luna?

Truthfully, this new life was better to some degree. This wasn't a repeating lie they would say in an attempt to pacify their rapidly changing emotions. People don't suffer for nothing. There was meaning behind it. It was a beautiful weakness that easily bloomed like a sore. It was so human. A reminder of what they were no longer. They were now something much more than any person. Life was going to be different this time around. As a collective, they swore on it. For themselves and each other. 

No one would have to endure the inescapable abuse that was inflicted upon them ever again. In this world, they were never hungry or cold; they had a place to sleep and clothes on their backs. Here, it was safe. No one could hurt them again, and they'd make sure of it. 

The darkest parts of every soul, which were once hidden away, began to reveal themselves. Communal bitterness festered and spread like the plague. They were all told anything could happen in this world. They could be or do anything. In that case, they would do things they could only dream of. Everyone wished that they had lived life more selfishly, and now was their chance. If their souls were truly bound to this God-forsaken game, it would only make sense to treat life like one. 

The network grew curious. For the first time, they had control over their lives. The roles have changed. It wanted to know what it was like to hurt someone. To feel how good it felt to break someone down to nothing. To have things go their way. They needed to hurt someone; it was instinctual. To prove to themselves that there was some bright side to this mess. That it has the ability to make people listen. Using the same methods that others have done to them.

Who they were as individuals mattered little. They'd make their presence known as one. It was only fair that after what they've been through, their amusement should be placed before all else. They deserved this; this was their reward! If only they had a fraction of this authority sooner.

[wntrswolf]

love mirage

✧ pair: benjicot "davos" blackwood (fancast) x freader!secret-lover-betrothed-to-a-bracken

✧ theme/warning(s): slight/implied smut, angst, forbidden romance, star-crossed lovers. — (all characters mentioned are of age!) 18+

✧ word count: 1.8k

✧ author's note: hello! this is my first writing! this one-shot was spontaneously written as it was meant more for self-indulgence but i thought why not share it to others who also has a current obsession with the rising blackwood character, right? :-) anyways, reading fics under the benji tags manifested many scenarios in my head, and gave me inspiration to write something. lastly, forgive me for any possible grammatical errors, i still am an amateur in fictional writing. enjoy!!!

It was the dead of night. The sky had been painted in its darkest hue, the moon stood nearly at its peak, offering its gentle glow along the riverbank. The distant chatter that could be heard during a long day's labor was no longer present, replaced by the solemn silence of nature's symphonies—the flowing river, the rustling of leaves as they danced in breaths of wind, and the lullabies of insects as they clicked and buzzed.

The forest was no stranger to you; befriending the woodland for the passing moons. You often wondered if anyone would, or had, grown an inkling of your periodic disappearance following the hours of supper—what others would think of your father’s only daughter growing a rather sudden interest beyond the walls of your family's stronghold. You always made your way out stealthily, though his words echoed in your mind,

“You are our only hope, daughter. Do not fail us.” A stark reminder of your duty, which would soon bring honor to your family's name.

If it means anything, you knew it was wrong from the start. You had never intended anything as such to happen. For the name of a nobleman was bound to yours, yet your lips would chant whispers of another.

Time became irrelevant right before you met him on this cool summer night. There the young man stood, one hand steady on the hilt of his dagger, ever vigilant should danger lurk in the tranquil embrace of the silent woods; his tense body relaxing upon the sight of your cloaked figure before him—a beacon of familiarity. You had planned to tell him about your betrothal tonight.

Although it was not much longer that you would find yourself a whimpering mess under the Blackwood boy. Your sighs mingled with the saccharine words Benjicot spoke, adding harmonies of moans and gasps of pleasure in the serenity of the haven you both made. You often feared getting caught but Benji assured you in these remote lands, he doubted anyone would be near enough to witness anything— not even the treacherous act you both selfishly indulged in. You still pray to the Gods that they grant you both the favor that no eye spies this clandestine meeting; and the many before.

You never really questioned yourself on why you couldn't confide in your father about your betrothal; had you already envisioned the conversation—mayhem would ensue. It was simple, it was the decision he made—securing your family's position through a marriage pact, a political alliance they called it. Duty, you thought yet again.

You didn't know what, or whom, to shift the blame on—or maybe it was the complexities of guilt. your guilt. You knew the inevitable, yet your selfishness, your greed, your immature desire for love; tainting your rationale. Or that maybe you should feel resentment that your father and the Lord of Stone Hedge, Humfrey Bracken regarded their relationship as close as to being kin. Maybe then you would have the strength to ignore your obligations, this once.

You cursed yourself for thinking the way you did, and you cursed the Gods for the decades-old rivarly between the ancient houses—a hatred and feud born long before either of you were born; beyond your father's time, and his father's before him, yet its roots grew, multiplying the petty divide among those that followed after them.

It made you question what started the war between the two in the first place, as sin begets sin begets sin; however, unwavering was the tryst between you and Benjicot—untouched by the strife and grudges.

He knew. You were aware of his knowledge with the woven webs you had with the Brackens; about your father's bond with the red stallion lord. Your thoughts do not come to a plausible explanation as they endlessly spun in your mind.

And all it took was Benjicot's hips to lower into yours, silencing these whirling thoughts.

Your cloak drapes over you, offering its warmth from the breaths of wind, coming from the riverbank. It spared the watchful eyes of the forest spirits from your unneeded bareness. At your side, Benjicot lays as he adjusts his breeches.

“There’s a war soon to come,” he says as he stares at the sky, hands behind his head, ”And I ought for you to know that given the growing wars, you have not left my mind since.” he nervously confessed.

You hum in response, the weight of his words settling heavily in the quiet of the forest. "I fear what lies ahead, Ben" you whisper, your voice barely above a murmur, filled with both longing and apprehension.

He turns to you then, his gaze searching yours with an intensity that spoke of unspoken promises and uncertainties. "No matter what comes, my love for you will endure." he vows, his fingers gently tracing the contour of your cheek.

You turn your head and sit up, feeling around for your discarded garments to dress.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asks, sitting up, his expression betraying confusion at your abrupt reaction. 

"No, it's not that." you breathed out, your back faced to him. It was this very moment you had feared since the first: the inevitable.

"Well, did you not finish as I had?" he ventured in jest, a playful side of him that you loved. "Or is it because I professed my love for you?", hoping his declaration had not caused you to pull away. "Trust me, I will make sure there's nothing—"

"My betrothal..." you did not let him finish, "it's to Aeron Bracken." you said, still facing away from him as you rose from the ground. You picked on your fingers picked in nervousness of his next response. The weight of your confession hung heavy in the air.

At first he thought he had not heard you clearly, as if the world had gotten awfully quiet. It was when you repeated once more, realizing his ears did not fail him as his blood got hot—of you saying the name whom ignited an unexplainable fury in him.

"Aeron Bracken," Benjicot repeated in disbelief of your sudden confession, "The Bracken twat, eh?" — the very same Bracken he encountered in fresh conflict, near the mill's boundary stones. Although he did not show it, the tension in the air was strong enough to burn and linger its flames; his knuckles turning pale as he clenched his fists at his side.

"A craven false king follower... is bound to your name, to you." he chuckles incredulously. 

He paced in the clearing, his footsteps heavy as he turned to you. "And what are you to do about it?" He posed the question, pain plain upon his face, though hope bled through the mask of his composure. Deep down, he already knew the answer. He could scare tell if asking you such question was to self-inflict torment, or just a desperate need to face the harsh reality of your confession— not a difference between the two really.

You finally turned to meet his gaze, "It's my father's decision," you explained softly. "I... I cannot defy it." You stood before him, as your tears glisten in the faint light. Torn between love and duty.

"Ben," you pleaded, your voice shaking. "You know the stakes. It’s my duty. My family's honor—” 

"Fuck honor!" he interrupted, his voice thundering through the forest. He strides towards you, "It was long gone the very moment we first met—" he huffed out. He knew in his heart that despite the love he developed towards you, the tangled web of your kinship with the Brackens would soon unravel the bond you shared— still, he gambled with the odds, just as you had.

He had ever hoped that the old Gods would bestow the blessing of his fervent wishes—that it would be you, not some other maiden, whom he would take to wife. He often dreamed of you bearing the heirs of his house, growing gray together, and watch as your blood flow through the veins that would carry on his legacy. Yet, it was only ever a distant dream.

You reached out to him, to calm the storm raging within him, but he jerked away. "Tell me, then," he challenged, stepping closer with fire in his eyes. "Where do your loyalties lie, beyond this," he motioned between the two of you. "Are you suggesting that your father, and even yourself, are to declare for the usurper cunt of a King?" he whisper-yells to you. “Or is this some sort of arrangement with those Bracken fucks, to get back at us Blackwoods, simply just using me as a pawn, 'cus you know I'm now Lord?" His words spitting at you like venom;

“Oh, you know where my loyalties lie," you spat, your voice filled with heartache, "But I won't stand for you questioning my integrity nor my family's honor to secure a future." You glared at him as your heart stung with hurt, "And to accuse me... I would not dare to commit something so heinous even if i could; I'm not cruel, Benji."

Benjicot's jaw clenched, shaking his head as he stood facing the river, incomprehensible words muttered under his breath.

"I never asked for this," you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. "But I have responsibilities. We both do." you sniffled, swallowing the tension of your throat away, "And I know you know..." you wiped your tears, "we know... that this was bound to occur, sooner or later, Ben." your voice was barely audible, even with the deafening silence the forest came to be. "There's a war coming."

The silence hung heavy in the air, thick with unspoken words and the weight of impossible choices.

Benjicot stood before you, his expression torn between love and anguish. His hands trembled as he gathered his scattered belongings, his movements reflecting the turmoil in his heart. You mirrored his actions, silently picking the remnants of what you felt is to be your last fleeting moment of happiness.

"I swear it," he finally spoke, "would that we were not bound by the enmity between our folks, I would have already vowed myself to you. Long before your father would have you promised to another."

His words pierced your heart with longing and regret, the bitter truth of your circumstances hanging between you like a veil of sorrow. “And I would have gladly accepted it,” you replied with a heavy sigh. "—my Lord."

The Blackwood male nodded, his gaze fixed on yours, filled with a depth of emotion that mirrored your own. With a heavy heart, you both silently acknowledged the futility of your love.

Benjicot turned away first. The distance between you both grew; and his silhouette became one with the dark forest.

You knew that somewhere, amidst the pain and heartache, you would find a way to carry on—a life of uncertainty but fraught with duty. As you walked away from the happiness and love that the forest had given you, the ache in your chest spoke of a love that was lost but will never be forgotten. It would be a bittersweet reminder of what once was, and what could never be again.

[pauleentology]

this panel is actually so cute oms

mike is absolutely confused, ashlyn is just unfazed, aiden and taylor switching from aggressive to passive mode, ben still holding them like a dog mom holding her puppies by their scruffs, tyler's sitting there processing, and whatever is going on with logan i can't quite place it i think bro discovered a new emotion

i love this webtoon sm omgosh it actually hurts

[pokemon1oadvanced]

Jurassic World Chaos Theory Season Two Spoilers

[valahelart]

confession in the afterlife...

[whumpypepsigal]

Secret Invasion s01e01: “We've been helping you for all these years to ensure that you kept your promise. But after The Blip, you were different. And then you disappeared.”

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Favorite Otps/Pairings: Alexander Colbourne & Charlotte Heywood (Sanditon) “Every day of my life that is not spent in your company is a day wasted. And I've fought in vain to deny it, but I'm in love with you, Miss Heywood. No! We shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have said that! My only regret is that I didn't say it sooner. Then why didn't you?!"

[nattule29]

YOU CAN TAKE MY HAND AWAY BUT U WILL NEVER STOP ME FROM DOING ANGST!

I hope you cry yourself to sleep tonight :3

lol should I make a part two?

[cheruv-ii]

I hope the storyboard artists for jwct on here know that I would sit my ass down and watch a slideshow of their storyboard art as its own cartoon I love y'all

[limitedunderdog]

been busy w making my portfolio! so here’s some old sketches of ben and toby. i think i like making toby a little softer looking :3 still experimenting with ben >~<

[kariachi]

I don't have the emotional fortitude to write it, but the brain does sometimes mosey over to the potential aftermath of simple shit like 'the Omnitrix is programmed to prevent its wielder from dying', 'Ben is known to occasionally get the wrong alien', and 'falling from great heights is very bad for your health' coming together after Gwen shoves the boys out of the ship during Showdown to result in one dead Kevin.

Like damn but that could be one dramatic and painful storyline.

[anundyingfidelity]

the fact homelander could've been a normal kid if soldier boy was around will always be my roman empire.

[pokemon1oadvanced]

Jurassic World Chaos Theory Season Two Spoilers

Benji was a rollercoaster this season 😭

[womp-womp-waa]

Aiden was incapable of love.

Since the minute he was born he didn't know what love is and he was never shown what love is. Immediately, he was given a disadvantage from other kids. When children shared their toys with eachother and laughed with their friends, Aiden was alone at home being home schooled by a teacher who hated him. He didn't even learn what a hug was until he was seven!

So maybe that was it. Maybe he just never learnt how to love or maybe he was never made to love. That realisation wounded him deeply. Will he ever love? Did he deserved to be loved back? Everyone had someone who they loved, even his parents had eachother so why didn't he have someone. Was he really going to die alone? He didn't bother to get out of bed, what's the point anyways. He was going to die alone, so what was the point of trying anymore? Why should he care if he was destroying his body, why should that bother him?

He thought he could never love. Until he felt his first ever rush of adrenaline. It was his first time ever skydiving, his parents were forcing him to do it as it 'wasn't good for the family image if he just sat in his room alone all day". So he jumped out of that plan (with an instructor, of course) and that's when he met his first love. In the sky he felt free, not a worry in the world. He could love, maybe not people but he could love a feeling and that's more then he ever expected of himself.

But then he met Ashlyn, he was pushy at first. Invading her personal space, made her uncomfortable. But situations forced them together, so they both learnt about eachother and respected one another. They made efforts to understand eachother. Aiden wasn't sure what he was feeling towards Ashlyn, was it love? Aiden couldn't tell, he's never been able to love anyone before. But if this is what it felt like romantic or platonic, he never wanted to let this feeling go

[justasecretflower]

Reader keeps Ben Drowned’s heart healed by Christ, and Ben Drowned is no longer malevolent spirit anymore. He is purified, and Ben Drowned was like Link, and Reader was like Zelda. Reader is Ben Drowned’s favorite person, Reader is like Ben Drowned’s savior and light, Also what about later on, Ben Drowned have to leave Reader towards heaven, Ben Drowned does becoming an angel and have to leave earth forever. ✝️🥀

Thanks for the request🤍

🥀+ ✝️ Ben drowned! Going to heaven 💕 invisible string

Ben x Zelda! Princess! reader

~angst.

____________________________________________

The gentle melodic rhythm of the flute plays as I press the keys, Ben looking up at me with his eyes sparkling. Ever since ben had gotten saved and the vengeance from his soul washed away he’s been tucked in a quiet forest. With me visiting him whenever I can escape royal duties. The sun peeking through the trees, animals going up to the both of us to greet us and stay for a little bit, the butterflies flying around majestically, everything was peaceful.

Ben smiled, letting out a small laugh. Leaning against me. In a way we found comfort within each other. Talking about our past experiences, learning how to accept them and find peace. My blue dress sparkled in the dewy sun and my jewelry glittered and shone. “Ben how are you feeling?” I ask, leaning back on him and reaching a palm out for a dove to land on. “At peace.” Ben’s blue eyes glowed, no longer having the blacked out eyes and instead oceanic blue ones like the ones he had when he was living. Ben pet the bird with a finger, speaking up. “Where do you find yourself in 5 years y/n?”

I think. There’s not much of a purpose for me, really. I’m a princess and I’ll get married , have children, and then die. “Married off.” I mumble, petting the soft dove as my mind fills up with thoughts about my undeniably bland future. Ben frowns a little “will you love him?” He asks. “It doesn’t matter.” I say, and it doesn’t. As long as we’re semi good to each other it won’t matter. “I think it’s important that you love him.” Ben mumbles.

I hum in agreement. Taking a daisy gently in my hand.

_______________________________________

I laugh loudly, feeling the glee fill my body up and warming me. “Ben!” I yell. Ben, who is now swinging on a random tree branch and scuffing up his hands.

Ben giggles. Hoping down with an infectious smile plastered on his youthful face. We settle down near a log. “Hey y/n…” Ben says, his voice etched with a whimsical tone, like he was so far away yet so close. “Hey Ben” I reply back, a smile still on my face.

“I’m crossing over to heaven soon.” Ben admitted. My heart tore in two; one part significantly bigger than the other. Ben was such a huge part of my life, I thought he’d always be here, his laugh in the trees, his footprints in the earthy, rich soil, his cheery voice comforting the merciful birds and the most aggressive of bears. I thought we’d stay the same forever, but youth slips through the fingers of many, no matter how tight you grip.

A tear slips down my face but I don’t even feel it, my body feeling the hurt before my brain processed it. “Not soon actually; today.” Ben almost whispered. Time was a scary thing. It’s so hard to obtain yet so easy to loose. We all want to stop it, but it never listens. In theory, time, is the most vicious thing of all.

He stood up straight, his ivory skin getting haloed by a white glow. I reach out for him, wishing that the clock could rewind backwards, that I could know him before death claimed him. “Come back” I whisper, my emotion, my thoughts, my heart lodged in my throat, like an invisible chain wrapped around my neck and was tied impossibly tight. “I hope you find what you’re looking for y/n” “I’m looking for you. Always, during the day, the afternoon, the night under the milky stars, in every life, of every second.” I plea, my voice breaking.

He was my best friend, a brother I never had, a half of my heart I thought I’d never have. I felt our invisible string teether with each passing moment that the glow got brighter. Ben teared up as well. “I couldn’t tell you before, I wanted our last moments together to be of ignorant bliss.” I feel dizzy, his body was almost fully turned into white glowing butterflies. Butterflies, their transformation similar to bens. From wishing everyday that he could be braver, to wishing everyday he could be dead, to wishing everyday he could be alive, to..peace, beautiful, warm peace.

“Keep your head up, y/n” Ben echoed.

“as time slips through your fingers enjoy the warmth of every peaceful moment, love the peace, and find the sun in the storm.”

Our invisible string, finally broke, tears slipped down, as I grasped at the glowing white butterflies, flying higher.

Im so bad at writing angst I can’t do it 💀

Tags

[livelovecaliforniadreams]