#i KNOW that’s all anyone wants from me anyway so i have a pretty good one this time.
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since everyone is telling Buck to move on from Tommy, when they get back together (they go to couple’s therapy and they put in all the work to make it work) Buck tries to keep it a secret.
but he’s too overjoyed to be normal. he gets into work smiling like an idiot, he spends all his time on his phone, he receives flowers from “a secret admirer” once a week and he takes some time off to go on a romantic getaway.
Everyone obviously clocks this new person very quickly and everybody is super happy for him. Hen says “I’m glad you finally moved on” and Eddie says “I liked Tommy but this new person is clearly good for you” and Bobby wants to meet them but Buck says he wants to keep the relationship for himself a bit more
cue hilarious hijinks. They run into Hen at the grocery store and they only have one cart so Tommy pretends to read something from the nearest shelf and Buck hides in the frozen isle (Tommy’s reading tampons. He only notices when he hears “hey Tommy. Why are choosing tampons?” and he goes “uhhhh. It’s for my cat. It’s a female” because soulmates).
Maddie shows up at his house unannounced and Tommy has to hide in the bathroom. She leaves Jee. Tommy is sure Jee doesn’t remember him so he introduces himself to Jee as “Casey” so she won’t blow their cover but Jee says “but you’re Mr. Tommy the pilot. You can’t be Casey”.
Eddie finds out because they meet Tommy on a call and they try to play it so cool. Tommy says “Good morning Station 118” and Buck says “Firefighter Kinard” in the coldest voice he can manage. and they think they fooled everyone because Chim comments “yikes. That was awkward!”. But when they’re alone Eddie looks at Buck dead in the eyes and says “You’re sleeping with him” and Buck has to explain that no, it’s not just sex, they’re actually in love and he’s pretty sure it’s forever.
anyway, they keep digging themselves deeper. at some point Buck implies he has a girlfriend to throw everyone off. Tommy keeps receiving horny DMs so he has to set his FB status to “In a relationship” and everyone starts treating Buck like he just suffered a loss (Buck is so stupidly happy they’re official on FB even if he stopped using it ten years ago). Eddie casually asks Buck “is Tommy done with the Chevrolet he was working on?” in front of everyone.
everyone figures it out at some point or another (Hen knew since he run into them at the grocery store, Jee started talking about wanting to becoming a pilot like Mr. Tommy the moment she got home, Bobby just knows because he’s Buck’s dad and also he’s Tommy neighbor and he’s pretty sure Buck moved in).
but they wait for Buck to come to them.
Bobby gets tired of waiting and eight months after Buck and Tommy got back together, says “you know, you can bring Tommy on Saturday. Officially introduce him to the family. Again.” and Buck starts laughing hysterically and says “what. I’m not with Tommy. I don’t know Tommy. Who even is this Tommy you’re talking about” and then realizes everyone is smiling and looking at him and Hen takes his hand and says “Buck. It’s okay. We like Tommy. As long you’re happy” and Buck gets all smiley and says “I’m happy. He makes me so happy” and then they all hug.
they arrive at Saturday’s bbq holding hands but Tommy is very tense because he thinks everybody hates him because he did break Buck’s heart. But he’s done therapy and he’d do anything to keep Buck this time so, before anyone can even say anything, he says “Hi. I know you don’t trust me and you don’t have to like me. But you’re Buck’s family and your opinion is very important to us so I just ask you respect his choice to give me a second chance” and then Eddie says “come here, you idiot” and everyone hugs him and Buck looks at his family hugging his boyfriend with tears in his eyes and thinks that this is it. this is what he’s been looking for all these years. the secret to happiness.
#bucktommy#headcanon#Bucktommy fic#That i don’t have the energy to make a fic#This is what I’m gonna do from now fics and headcanon I’m done with complaining#It makes me too sad
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| Irish Coffee |
summary: twenty four was the wrong age for everything, except maybe picking up girls in bars at the holidays. Rafe Cameron x Reader
word count: 3.8k
warnings: bars, alcohol, passing mention of sexual assault, death of a parent mention.
Rafe Cameron hated karaoke. It was shitty ego-stroking from typically the very intoxicated or the very tone deaf. He didn’t think anyone ever felt good about their performances on that rinkydink stage anyway. It was unpleasant for everyone involved. Truth be told, Rafe thought karaoke was pointless entirely. If he wanted to hear a good version of a song, he would go on Spotify and find one. He thought karaoke was a selfish sport made fun only for the singer, and never for the listener.
In summation, it was fucking stupid.
When he got in Topper’s Jeep, Rafe had been too tipsy to fully comprehend that it was karaoke night at the Swordfish. Now, with another tumbler of b-list bourbon between Rafe’s knuckles, he moped on a stool at the bar.
He felt old when he went out with Kelce, Topper and their other friends. He had started college while some of the other boys he’d grown up with were in their junior year of high school. Rafe didn’t have friends. He wasn’t good at keeping them and didn’t like it when they complained about their problems that weren’t even really problems. The persona he had crafted for dealing with friends, though, had gotten elaborate enough to where Rafe thought they didn’t notice that his heart wasn’t in it.
He didn’t have friends, he had the people he drank with. That was better than drinking alone.
Being twenty-four sucked. Too old for ragers, too young for drinks at the country club. Too many big problems to solve, but everyone thinking he was too young to solve him. Rafe wondered, if he drank enough, could he blackout the whole of his twenties and then he wake up in his thirties locked and loaded?
Some drunk whore was finishing up a song Rafe had only heard in Sofia’s car. She’d played it often. He didn’t know what it was called. It was by one of those superstar white girls with the zillion dollar concert tickets. Rafe didn’t like it. He didn’t like Sofia either anymore. He didn’t like to think about her anymore.
His heartbeat raced. His could feel it beat in his neck when he drank too much. It didn’t used to be that way. The human body couldn’t fail from misuse before thirty, could it? Rafe took a sharp inhale through his nose to push the frantic thoughts away. Everyone leaves eventually, he reminded himself; a mantra. Fuck, he wanted a cigarette.
Topper was on Ruthie leaning up on the wall near a booth. They were out of commission til she got pissy at him for breathing wrong, or something, and they all had to make excuses to leave. Normal Friday night.
Rafe wished he’d stayed home.
A DJ mumbled that the next person was taking the stage, singing Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton. Arguably, this was Rafe’s favorite Christmas song because it had been his mother’s favorite Christmas song.
It was also the week before Thanksgiving and Rafe didn’t think he could stomach Christmas yet.
“Shit…” Rafe muttered into his glass of bourbon.
The girl supposed to sing was being pushed up into the tiny stage by a group of drunk girls. Presumably a bachelorette party by the looks of it. The girl onstage had a frown of surprise on her lips. It was clear to Rafe that she didn’t know this was going to happen. A girl in her party, wearing a veil headband, called out: “Please! This is our song. Please do it for me? You sound so pretty, [Y/N].”
All of her friends were calling and chanting for her to sing. The girl, [Y/N], looked embarrassed. She was very put on the spot.
Eventually, with all the cheering, pleading and encouragement, [Y/N] walked to the center of the stage where the microphone stood.
“Forgive me if this is dogshit, my friends signed me up,” The girl said over the karaoke track’s intro. A few of the girls she was with cheered. “I didn’t come to butcher Dolly in front of y’all.”
This yielded a chuckle from her audience. Rafe rolled his eyes. He was less interested in her humble act, and more interested in where he knew from. Rafe knew a lot of people, and he was starting to cling to the barstool to do what his legs were struggling to do. [Y/N] was a common enough name, but this girl looked so fucking familiar to him. His drunk mind leafed through the catalog of women in his brain. [Y/N], [Y/N], [Y/N], where did he know her from?
Her clothes weren’t anything special. Standard bachelorette party fare. A little too short, but not quite slutty. She was a bridesmaid, maybe the maid of honor. Rafe wrinkled his nose in thought. His contacts stung dry against his eyes. He had stared at a screen too long in the office and now he was sitting under a vent in November. Who the hell left the A/C on in November?
[Y/N]. Rafe hadn’t hooked up with her before. He didn’t think he had, anyway. She didn’t appear to have botox in her face or filler in her top lip with the way she expressed so freely. That meant she couldn’t have been the kid of one of his dad’s business contacts.
He looked at her friends for clues. Immediately, Rafe recognized the bride. Wendy. Rafe had hooked up with Wendy a few times in high school. He was surprised to see she was still on the island; Wendy had been smarter than that. So Rafe probably knew [Y/N] from school, then. What classes had they shared? He tried to place her.
[Y/N] was working through the slow first verse. She didn’t have a perfect, trained voice. Her voice was the kind of voice that sang in the kitchen on Saturday mornings to the radio. A smirk pulled at Rafe’s lip. She wasn’t forcing it, and she wasn’t so drunk that it was pathetic to listen to. “I hate singing in front of people…” she said.
[Y/N] knelt and set down what appeared to be an Irish coffee, and put her left hand over eyes. No ring, Rafe thought. He almost puked at the thought that looking at babes in bars now came with seeing if they were married or engaged, before giving them the once over. Being twenty-four sucked. The girl swayed from side to side on her feet as she moved from the second half of the first verse to the chorus.
…Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine.
Me, I'll be just fine and dandy.
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas.
I'm barely getting through tomorrow,
But still I won't let sorrow bring me way down…
The girl took some liberties with how she improvised the line endings or creating a harmony line instead of the melody during the way too repetitive chorus. It wasn’t like she was doing something revolutionary, but she also wasn’t just up there doing a cheesy impression of Dolly.
It was a welcome change of pace from the guy’s attempt at some Jimmy Buffet number a few songs ago. Rafe loved music. He loved it. That’s part of why karaoke was such an affront. Rafe played the piano; he was okay. His mom had put him in lessons right after kindergarten and it was the only thing he had stuck with until the end of high school. That was how he honored her memory.
Wait, kindergarten.
[Y/N] sat next to Rafe in kindergarten and early elementary. Holy fucking shit.
Rafe was a walking ad for Ritalin until he was about ten. Arguably, after that too. No one ever helped him out. He was also spoiled, he knew that. The kid talked out of turn, couldn’t follow the classroom expectations, never sat still, and ended up with his green light getting downgraded to a yellow light by the end of everyday. The tantrums he would throw over it where earthshaking. It was exhausting. [Y/N] sat next to him because she was not disruptive. Miss Lisa, their kindergarten teacher had loved [Y/N]. She loved her not only because she was good kid, but because she talked back to Rafe. [Y/N] used her position as calm-girl-forced-to-sit-next-to-shitty-boy to her advantage. She tattled on him daily. Debatably, that made his behavior worse, but the pair had fun sometimes. Rafe hadn’t thought about her in years.
[Y/N] wrapped up the song, trilling fine and dandy… I’ll be fine… over and over with the tinny backing track. He wished she could sing this song along with a guitar the way she deserved. Unexpectedly, Rafe found his hands applauding and his glass on the counter.
Quick as a flash, Rafe stood on unsteady feet and rushed towards the stage. [Y/N] rounded up her Irish coffee and pivoted towards her friends that clapped delightedly at her. Her hands were peeled away from her face now. Rafe almost smiled. Almost.
“Hey ladies, can I steal [Y/N] here for a second?” Rafe hollered over the music as he slumped towards their party.
Wendy’s eyes lit up in immediate recognition. “Rafe Cameron…”
“Hi Wendy,” Rafe said effortlessly. “Congratulations, by the way. You look great.” Rafe’s hookups were getting married now, and he was going to wake up tomorrow single and hungover.
“Thank you, hon. You look pretty good yourself… Please take her. Buy her another drink before we go. We need her loosened up a little.” Wendy giggled.
“Hey!” [Y/N] protested. She was eying Rafe uncertainly. She was trying to place him the same way that he had her.
“Please, ladies, next round on my tab. Congrats, seriously, Wendy,” Rafe said with a sleazy, false grin as a few of the women cheered. “I’ll bring [Y/N] back in one piece.” Gently, Rafe placed a hand on her elbow and angled her away towards the bar. The two walked in relative quiet.
All [Y/N]’s friends giggled. Rafe’s force dimples dropped when they were out of the ladies’ eyeline.
“Excuse me,” [Y/N] started. “Not tryin’ to be rude. Have we… Do I know you? I didn’t catch your name and…” She asked, staring intensely at Rafe. “Is this a setup, because Wendy’s always trying to—“
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Rafe cut in, stopping. He was drunk and forgot his manners. Great impression. Rafe cleared his throat and tried not to slur. “Rafe Cameron. You probably don’t remember me… I… You’re [Y/N] [L/N], yeah? You sat beside me in, like, fucking kindergarten and stuff.”
[Y/N] eyes widened in recognition. “Oh my god!” She gasped. “Rafe! How are you? Oh my god, you’re so tall!” [Y/N] laughed happily. Her faced buzzed warmly from the alcohol.
Rafe nodded at her amused comment. “Yeah, I’ve been busy since I was, y’know, nine.” He snorted.
“You transferred, right?”
“Yeah, Saint Mary’s.” Rafe replied. His mother’s trust had paid for catholic school after she died. He transferred out around the time he was ten.
“I can’t believe we never crossed paths again. You know Wendy from Saint Mary’s then?”
“Yep, that’s right,” Rafe paused. “Come on, lemme get you another drink. You’re the reason I didn’t fail first grade.”
[Y/N] smirked. “That’s probably true. You were an awful student.”
“Jesus Christ,” Rafe smirked. “Way to treat a guy buying you a drink,” he started his walk towards the bar, prompting [Y/N] to follow him. “You got Bailey’s or Jameson in that thing?”
The girl looked down into her nearly empty mug. “Jameson.”
“Smart girl.“ Rafe said easily. [Y/N] blushed. Even drunk, Rafe didn’t miss that expression on her face at those words. Almost too easy.
“Well, if you’re paying then tell the man to make it a double Irish too.”
“Very smart girl. I like the way you think.”
[Y/N] easily followed Rafe to the bar. The man’s broad shoulders slumped drunkenly as he cut through the crowd. When one was as large, imposing and beautiful as Rafe Cameron, crowds parted like the Red Sea. “So, uh, how are you? Did you do the whole college thing, or…?” [Y/N] asked broadly. She next to nothing about him. He wasn’t even the kind of childhood friend to get added on Instagram.
College. That was the default question at their age. Rafe hated this question, but he couldn’t let [Y/N] feel rejected for that question. “I mean, yeah. For a while. I was at Wofford for a year, but I never finished. I like what I do now, though.”
[Y/N] nodded. “And what exactly do you do?”
“Real estate development. I took over for my dad l when he passed.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, we get by,” Rafe turned to the bartender, waving a hand for his attention. “Another Maker’s Mark, neat, and a coffee with double Jameson. Put the anything else the bachelorette party orders on my tab.” Rafe said. He certainly didn’t need another drink, but he really liked having something to do with his hands. Rafe would probably have less substance abuse-related issues if he knew how to conduct his body in public in some way that wasn’t a poor impression of his father.
“Very good, Mr. Cameron.”
[Y/N] narrowed her eyes at Rafe. “Big spender… You that much of a regular that they know your name at the bar?” In her world, guys [Y/N]’s age didn’t get called ‘Mr.’ anything anywhere by anyone. The guys she knew still drank shitty PBRs in punk clubs and had girlfriends they had nothing in common with. Rafe’s polish and pedigree didn’t rub off even in such a state of intoxication.
Rafe didn’t have a good excuse. The implication of [Y/N]’s statement was accurate. “Sure,” he replied. He moved through the rest of his sentence like a gunshot to prevent an awkward conversation. “Hey, why’d you pick Hard Candy Christmas?”
“I didn’t pick it. Wendy did.”
Rafe nodded slowly. “Right. Why did she pick it for you, then?”
“Because it’s my favorite Christmas song.”
“It’s my favorite. It’s probably half of the Smoky Mountains’ favorite too. But why?”
“I didn’t realize this was hardball—“
“Please... I asked you a question about Dolly Parton. You sounded good.” Rafe responded. His drink was passed over the counter. He held it close to his chest and leaned his right elbow down to press it into the bar.
“Um, thanks. It’s… I had shitty couple years. I sang that song everyday for months at a time, I think. Wendy and I would go for these drives with the top down and just… Belt that shit out. Makes the bad days better.”
Rafe half-smiled. “So, year-round?” He said accusingly.
“The song? Like, not at Christmas?”
“Mhm.”
“Well, yeah. She says it’s like a Hard Candy Christmas, not that it is one. That’s grounds for year-round. It’s so much more than a Christmas song.” [Y/N] bit back with a smirk. The bartender returned and placed another white coffee cup and saucer in front of [Y/N] with a nod. The girl slurped a sip down without cream or sugar. She barely made a pinched expression at what was obviously a strong drink. Rafe was moderately impressed. He liked that [Y/N] was drinking brown liquor in black coffee this late on a Friday while all of her friends held White Claws and Daiquiris,
“My head hurts. This is the opposite of the Die Hard’s a Christmas movie thing.” Rafe jabbed.
“Anything can be a Christmas movie.”
“Then, so can a song.”
[Y/N] paused. “Damn.” she sighed. She wasn’t sober enough to get her arguments straight.
Rafe didn’t want to conversation to end. [Y/N] was the most intelligent person he’d spoken to all day. It wasn’t saying much, but was noticeable. He asked another question. “What’s your favorite Christmas movie, if you think that’s true?”
“American Psycho.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? That’s not a—“
“Rewatch it. Not having this argument,” [Y/N] chided. The girl glanced over her shoulder at her friends. They were all staring at her and pretending they weren’t. “Listen Rafe, I appreciate the drink. It was really great to see you tonight. I gotta head back to Wendy now. Bachelorette party only happens once. If you’re lucky… But, hey, thank you again—“
“Ask me.”
“Ask you what?” [Y/N] asked. She had no idea where Rafe was taking this. Rafe pushed up the left sleeve of his brown sweater.
“What my favorite Christmas movie is.”
[Y/N] looked at him funny. “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?”
“Eyes Wide Shut.” Rafe replied coyly.
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” [Y/N] smiled fully, finally. Rafe damn near smiled back. She took a small step away, gesturing to where her friends stood.
“Can I give you my card? Maybe we catch up sometime.” Rafe asked plainly.
“Yeah, maybe!”
Rafe pulled his business card out of his wallet and extended it to [Y/N]. She looked down at it, cheekily saying: “Let’s see Paul Allen’s business card…” her eyes widened at the writing on the card. “CEO? Of a development company? THE development company on the island.”
“I told you I took over my dad’s business.”
“Rafe, I… I’m barely a grant writer at a 501-c3. How are you a CEO… You’re… twenty-three?”
“Twenty-four two weeks ago.”
“Happy birthday,” [Y/N] said flatly. “What’s happening? Why are you talking to me?”
“Because you helped me pass first grade. I thought I already said that.” Rafe’s eyes never left hers. They were so blue. Too blue. Too blue to be real. Rich people were too pretty.
[Y/N] took a very long sip of her coffee. “That’s wild. I’m sorry, but that’s wild. You made me feel vastly inferior and I’m the friend with my shit the most together.” [Y/N] told Rafe, with a smile on her face.
“I know you gotta get back. I’m not gonna the asshole that kept the girls waiting, but call me. Listen, you’re pretty, so is your voice. We should catch up.” Rafe said. Was he asking her out? That was weird. That was weird, right?
Hesitantly, [Y/N] looked back at her friends again. They were too invested in her conversation with Rafe. Hopefully, they would all drink so much that they forgot it happened.
“Do you like karaoke, Rafe?” [Y/N] changed the subject.
“I hate it.” He replied instantly.
“Why are you here?”
Rafe gestured with his glass to where Topper and Ruthie were making out. “They gave me a ride. And you don’t seem too keen about it either.” He said with a shrug.
[Y/N] couldn’t figure out what Rafe’s game was. He had turned from an unsettling child to a freakish adult. He was blunt and brisk, and either frustratingly honest or an alarmingly good liar. Maybe both. She stared up at him.
“What?”
“What?” Rafe raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, I’m gonna go. It was good to see you. Thanks for the drinks,” [Y/N] took a step back. She started to walk away slightly, still facing Rafe. A looked of what could be interrupted as self-loathing crossed Rafe’s face. He didn’t bullshit enough with her during the conversation to be perceived as likable, and she was leaving. Of course. Nobody liked Rafe when they actually knew Rafe. [Y/N] stopped, thinking. “Rafe?”
“Yeah?” His eyes slid back to her.
“Can you do something for me?”
“Maybe?”
He was going to say no, but it would serve as a litmus test for what kind of man Rafe was. It would help [Y/N] sleep easier to know what kind of bullet she dodged by losing Rafe’s business card after tonight. “Okay, we have a scavenger hunt thing for the party. It’s stupid. One of those… Do X number of shots, get someone to give you a BLANK, take a picture of three of you doing… whatever. Y’know?”
“Sure, yeah. What are you asking?”
“One of the items on the list is Maid of Honor and a stranger accomplish a task she’ll regret tomorrow. Like I said, it’s a trashy fuckin’ list.”
“Are you asking me to hookup with you, or…”
“Worse. Do you know the song Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by—“
“Absolutely not—“
“Let me finish. I said do you know the song Don’t Go—“
“I don’t do karaoke.” Rafe said forcefully.
“Do you want to go out on a date with me, or not?”
Rafe was stunned silent. His mind worked overtime. He suddenly felt extremely sober, in spite of his drunkenness. He sucked his teeth.
“I don’t do Elton John. Sorry.” He muttered finally.
[Y/N] nodded, knowingly. It was a setup anyway. She couldn’t be disappointed. She knew he’d refuse and she could leave knowing she had made the right choice ditching him. “That’s a’right. Maybe some other—“
“But, if you really want me to do this, let’s at least stick to the Christmas thing you’ve got going here.”
“You don’t look very… holly jolly.”
“Ho, ho, ho,” he deadpanned. Rafe was the strangest combination. “Stop givin’ me grief here. Your favorite Christmas movie is American Psycho. Let’s do Baby, It’s Cold Outside—“
“Whoa, waaaay too rapey.” [Y/N] protested.
“American. Psycho. How is that song—“
“Wait, do you know Fa—“
“Fairytale of New York?” Rafe finished.
“You know it?”
“My family’s Irish Catholic.”
They both stood still and looked at each other. Well, Rafe stood as still as he could, but swayed a little on his feet. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Why was he agreeing to this?
For as manipulative as Rafe Cameron could be, he was effortless to play for validation and a pretty pair of eyes looking back at him.
Everyone leaves eventually, Rafe reminded himself. His mouth and his brain were not in agreement. Rafe had lost control of his body as he blindly followed [Y/N] to sign up for the next karaoke slot.
They passed Topper and Rafe held onto his glass like an anchor. He should have switched to beer. Why did he have another bourbon? Topper pulled his face away from Ruthie long enough to look at Rafe as if to say what the fuck are you doing? without any words. Rafe grimaced at Topper, barring his teeth slightly in response.
Rafe leaned in to [Y/N]’s ear and clumsily pushed her hair back. “I’m not a singer… This isn’t gonna be good.” He whispered. Chills crept up [Y/N]’s spine at the sensation of his breath. He knew his way around rhythm and music theory. Rafe was an asshole about music, actually. Jazz, classical, whatever. It was his secret no one else got to have. It’s not his fault that most of the motherfuckers he hung out with only listened to guys with the word ‘yung’ in front of their names. Still, all of that musicality couldn’t make him a singer.
“It’s karaoke.” [Y/N] said like it was obvious. She dragged Rafe towards the stage. “You’re so serious… Stop frowning; you’re gonna get lines on your face. We’re both gonna suck. I wouldn’t make you do this if it wasn’t for Wendy anyway. Promise.”
“This is so dumb; this better be some fucking date…”
[Y/N] pried, with difficulty, the rocks glass out of Rafe’s fingers and set it with her mug on a tabletop by the stage. As she pulled him up to a microphone, she said: “You know the words. Sing the damn song.”
And as the track started to play, and [Y/N] stupid friends all cheered, Rafe slurred the words he knew from every drunken family Christmas party he’d ever had. And he smiled. Just a little.
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe cameron#outer banks#christmas fic#holiday fic#obx#pope heyward#john b routledge#jj maybank
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Jeon Jungkook Perspective Reading
Disclaimer: No facts here, just a messenger of the cards and my interpretation of what I get.
Now, on to the next member of BTS for this reading. His energy can be a bit messy for me, so let's see if we go deeper into who he is. So, the song he gave me was Goriila by Bruno Mars, that is a pretty sexual song, so I was like, nah, give me something deeper and got Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake and Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye and gave up. Dude likes sex, just saying it and the sexual appeal, but he may also enjoy the intimacy of it with a romantic partner. He may not just be into sex with anyone, maybe with his particular person, anyway, let's see if we get something more in the cards.
Ugh, I am not liking what I am getting here, crap. So, we start with Temple of My body, this is giving me sexualized energy. Now, we know how sexualized he is, but do we know how sexualized, if you catch my drift. I can't move past the first card, because I am creeped out by this energy. I hate that I am getting this energy. Ya'll I want to cry, anyway, I really don't want to beat around the bush with this one. I am so scared to say this, but I just keep hearing Justin Bieber in my head if you know his story, then you know. Now, he is a fan of him, but I don't think that is why his name keeps popping up. The Temple of my Body card has the number 2, which reminds me of the 2 of Wands and I am getting sexual favors from that. Now, with the next card triumph of lies, lies wins over, everything around him is a lie, or they sell a story about him, or they sell him lies. Now, with the Sacrifice card, I mean, hello, sacrifice, being a sacrifice. Or having to sacrifice himself. With Black Flower Fragrance, he is hardened, this may have led him to dark places or opened up a void and darkness in him. I am sorry, but this is pissing me off. I really hate what I am getting, and I hope to god, I am wrong here. This could explain his messy ass energy. His story reminds me of Justin Bieber legit, it is his story all over again. I hate that these readings goes how I expect it to go. I knew I was in trouble when that first card came out. Anyway, this could also be a reason for his sexual nature, victims tend to be hypersexual. Allegedly, no facts here. But I call it how I see; I am not sugarcoating anything. Okay, I need to pull out the Conscious healing deck, because he needs healing energy.
Okay, what I am getting is there is patterns, cycles, maybe coping strategies that he may need to release. I see the circle on this one card, and I see things spiraling or a continuous loop for him, a lack of conclusion for him. I mean, I totally get it, very hard to heal from things like that, and face it. If that is what he went through. But this is telling him he needs to move forward. There is a lack of confidence he does have, a sense he isn't good enough or worthy. He may just see himself as a pretty face, or sexy body, that is all people may want for him, so he may see himself as that. He may feel people may not care about what he thinks, and by people, I mean the higher powers. People in control. This makes me sad. It seems there is a bubble, a protective shield he has built, which makes sense, so he makes it hard for people to come close to him, which once again, makes sense. It is like he built a safety net for himself. He should work on clearing away anything in his life he doesn't need, be it people, things, habits or situations. I am looking at this card and what I feel he should do is go on some retreat, in nature, away from all the bullshit and business of his life, that is what he needs, now would he get that, probably not, he makes too much money for these clowns for them to let him do that, but I feel that can help him heal.
So, what I find interesting is that he got similar cards to Wonyoung with this deck, who may have experienced things similar to him, so that intrigues me. These cards are saying that he can rise above whatever has happened if he allows kindness in. If he can allow himself to connect with his spirituality and tap into his feminine energy. To allow his creativity and passion to drive him in a positive direction. There is an opportunity for him to find love and a happy ending if he allows someone in. There is growth and abundance for him. He should work on communicating from the heart and show love towards himself and others. There is abundance for him. It could be an abundance of love, happiness, or success, whatever that could mean for him.
I feel these cards here are telling him to connect with his spirituality. I feel connecting with a higher power would be significant/beneficial for him. He would need to do some introspection and reflection and also learn to allow his intuition to guide him more and learn to listen to it, but there is this guard he has, this hostile energy, vengeful, aggressive energy he holds on to. He feels he needs to be on defense. To protect himself. All understandable, but it does halt him from healing. There is still anger and frustration within him. He should work on healing his heart, being more emotionally open and to not be too in his head and too analytical. I feel this is regards to his relationships. There could be opportunities for love with him, but he tends to overanalyze things and things don't move forward.
There is this need for him to find himself, to love and accept himself. But there is a need for closure for him to be able to find that peace within him. When he is able to find that closure and to close that chapter. He will be able to find strength. To gain his power back. This is a time for him to transform himself. To become a better version of himself. To break out of the cocoon they created for him. There is a lot of stress and tension built within him. He may need to practice breath work to help him through this process. There is this need for him to control others, the narrative, this may be in relationships. As he may not have much control in other matters of his life, or even body. He may need the control in his relationships to balance that. But that creates problems in his relationships. I can see him being clingy as well, and that can be a problem as well.
Alright, let's finalize this with Tarot. Interest combo of cards, so these cards give me an indication of someone speaking out and wanting to make changes, so he may do that. He may speak out about the struggles of the industry. With the Queen of Swords, he tends to be good at detaching from his emotions, people can do that once traumatized, but some people are just this way. I am just getting from this card and the King of Wands, is sharing information, speaking up, not sure where this is coming from, or if he will, but his energy wants to share, to speak to the masses and share his story. Not sure, he would tell the full story though. I am just getting there could be something he says that may change things. He is the type that wants to confront things and create some sort of movement. But he is also bold and willing to face any challenges that come his way. Loving this ending energy. Now, he does have this energy, but these cards could indicate it is something he should do, but may not do, because there are insecurities that may hold him back.
Okay, why I love these reading is because it helps me understand the idol so much more, but the first part was difficult as it always tends to be. But he comes off as a bad ass in the end. It just gives me more of an understanding to why they behave the way they do in my shorter readings.
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Dear Softy 💐 I come to humbly (&on my knees) ask for any sort of continuation to the 5 times nanami was sorry piece. I'm not a rereader, but I've read yours so many times I lost count, and nothing else hits the same. :(
HAHA Thank you for continuing to enjoy that fic <3 I still think it's one of my best works, so I'm glad someone likes it that much.
This part wont have reader in it! It set in before reader and Nanami had sex. But from Nanami POV now. So you get to see a little bit more from his mindset and what he’s like out of work hehe.
Part of this fic 5 Times with Nanami...
Satoru changed the group name to “The Skibidi Squad”
Suguru: … do I even want to ask
Ieiri: I’m too tired to even change it back, whatever
Yu: I saw some people in last night’s game say that in chat!
Ieiri: Yu stop playing those games with Gojo and Geto, it's bad for your brain and mental health tbh
Yu: :c
Suguru: Hey! Don’t lump me in with Satoru like that, we would have won that game if we didn’t have a monkey for a jungler…
Satoru: Alright, now that I gathered everyone here… (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
Ieiri: You didn’t gather anyone.. This is a group chat
Satoru: ANYWAY! I have serious news that need addressing right NOWW
┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)
Suguru: I’ll bite, what is it
Satoru: I know you already bite ( •̀ω•́ )σ
Ieiri Kicked Satoru out of “The Skibidi Squad”
Suguru Added Satoru back to “The Skibidi Squad”
Ieiri: Of course you would
Suguru: If I didn’t I would had to deal with him whining about it for hours
Satoru: First off, Rude. Secondly, NANAMIN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND HE DIDN’T TELL US ( ≧Д≦)
Yu: :0
Ieiri: We know
Suguru: ^^ Technically not his girlfriend yet I think, but she’s pretty cute
Satoru: You guys all knew and didn’t tell me??!?! Traitors! 凸(`0´)凸
Shoko: I knew because Nanami asked me advice on what kinda cologne girls would prefer
Suguru: I saw him ordering more than usual at the bakery and it was easy to put 2 and 2 together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yu: I didn’t know :c
Satoru: Haibara, it’s you and me against the world (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞
Nanami: …
Satoru: Well, well, well… the traitor finally shows up
Nanami left “The Skibidi Squad”
Satoru: WAITIIITSKDJF
Satoru: WHA- HE BLCOKED ME SOMEONE ADD HIM BACK
Ieiri: Yu don’t add him back
Yu: Oki! C:
Satoru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nanami sighs to himself and pinches the bridge of his nose. Silencing his phone and pocketing it as he walks on forward. He was already close to his destination and didn’t need to look at the map anymore or be spammed by Gojo’s annoying pestering. A quick turn into a shady alleyway, and Nanami was soon greeted by the neon lights welcoming sign of a bar called “The Devil’s Chainsaw”, an odd name with an even odder bartender.
Shoko liked coming to this bar though, and this is where he agreed to meet with her tonight, so he had no complaints as long as the alcohol was good. As Nanami stepped inside the bar, he was instantly met with the smell of cigarettes. Shoko peered over to him; she was sitting at the end of the bar, dressed in slacks and a dark sweater. She waved him over with a hand as she finished her conversation with the bartender.
The redheaded bartender looked over to Nanami as he took the seat next to Shoko; her strikingly odd eyes were a stark contrast to her soft, dulcet voice.
“What can I get for you, sir?”
"Just a whisky sour would be fine.”
The bartender nods and leaves the two to converse among themselves. Shoko lightly taps Nanami’s knee with her hand and smiles at him.
“So, Lovebird, how’s the seducing going?”
Nanami’s eyebrow twitches at that, and he turns to look at Shoko with a withering stare. Which she paid no mind to, just taking a long drag of her cigarette, waiting for his answer.
The bartender comes back with two drinks for them, a whiskey sour and a black russian. Nanami takes his drink and gulps down half of it, his heart feeling unusually tight tonight.
“Don’t call me that, and I’m not sure how the... seducing is going.”
His tongue rolls over the word “seducing” like it was a foreign language to him. Shoko hums in response, swirling her drink softly as she leans back in her chair. The light jazz music fills in the silence between them, a comfortable silence that these two were used to. No annoying laugh or taunts from a certain white-haired man to dampen the mood.
After a while, Shoko spoke up one more, with a question that had been on her mind for a while now.
“So, tell me, what was it about her that made you fall in love with her?”
Nanami jumped a little in his seat, feeling his ears burn at the question. He calls the bartender down for another drink and slams down the rest of his drink before even thinking about an answer.
Once his new drink comes in, he takes a hard swig and sighs deeply. Looking down at his drink instead of Shoko so as not to feel embarrassed while remembering the story of why he fell in love with you.
Flashback cutscene woooosh
It was back during a very important work event—a collaboration with a different company right before Christmas. Everyone was praying on this event going well to secure the deal with this company and go back home with a smile and a big fat holiday bonus. And Nanami was appointed to lead this event—to greet all the higher-ups, plan the itinerary, and basically do all the work.
Everything was riding on Nanami’s shoulders, all the pressure from not only his bosses but his fellow coworkers as well. Even just a tiny slip-up will make everyone turn to him with disdain in their eyes. At least, that was what Nanami felt like at the time; he needed to make this event work and make everyone happy, at the cost of his own sanity.
And with little to no sleep, countless nights planning the event down to each second, and a fake happy-go-lucky attitude he put on, the work event went amazingly. Everyone was happy, toasting and drinking the night away. Nanami managed to sneak away during all the merriment, stumbling his way to a nearby park and slouching down on a bench. All the tension in his body still wounding up his insides as he takes off his glasses and throws an arm over his eyes.
Ignoring everything around him, just wanting a moment of peace for himself for once. To throw away his mask for this brief moment where no one’s watching. The bench underneath him was hard on his back, but Nanami ignored it, focusing on the surroundings around him instead, the wind brushing past the trees, the rustling sounds of leaves, and the smell of frost in the air.
Just being in a suit did little to combat the chill, but Nanami couldn’t be bothered to go back inside right now; he was gonna risk being sick over having to do small talk again. He huddled his jacket as close as he could to his body and pretended he wasn’t shivering a little from the cold. Laying his head sideways on the wooden bench with his knees bunched up to his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, trying to to will himself into a slumber.
Sleep overtook him like a haunting lullaby; the weight in his shoulders still ache, the wind never slowed down, but soon the chills and the murmurs of the air around him felt almost comforting in a way.
Nanami didn’t know how much time had passed by the time he woke up, but he knew something was off, though. His head was resting on something much softer than a wooden board; he felt warm and cozy, and even his shoulder’s pain had lessened somehow.
He groaned and shifted his head around to see what was happening around him. He was still in the same park he fell asleep in; he shifted around again when he heard a noise coming from right above his head. He blinks away his grogginess, trying to see what was in front of him.
“Nanami-san?”
A voice calls out to him in a soft tone, so pure and sweet to his ears that he almost wants to close his eyes and fall asleep again while listening to it.
“Nanami-san, are you alright?”
Nanami grunts in response, knowing that he shouldn’t be falling asleep again, especially in front of a stranger, no matter how angelic he finds their voice. His eyes adjusted back to normal finally, and he found himself looking up at not a stranger, but his coworker.
“L/N-san?”
He rasps out, finding his throat and lips to be dry, he reaches to rub at his throat. You also reach out, placing the back of your hand on his forehead, trying to feel for a fever. Nanami leans in to your palm, almost feeling disappointed when you pull away; you don’t notice anything, though.
“You don’t seem like you have a fever… Are you feeling alright? You were gone for a bit, and I got worried. The others told me not to worry, but I came to check anyway.”
Nanami didn’t respond, causing you to worry even more; he was just staring at you with a quizzical look in his eyes. You reach out to him again, calling his name in a soft tone, which makes Nanami's eyes shoot wide open. With his senses flooding back into him all at once, Nanami realizes a few things.
One, that he actually did fall asleep in a random park with no fear for his safety on a cold winter night. Two, not only did he decide to sleep in a random park, he also did it during a large celebratory party for his company, without saying a word about leaving to anyone at the party. And lastly, he was resting his head on the very soft lap of his coworker in the middle of the night.
As much as he wanted to jump up and run away and forget about this embarrassing moment. Nanami calmly sat up, looked down, and realized that you had given him your jacket, returned said jacket to you, and got up from the bench.
Facing away from you, so you don’t see the blush covering his face, Nanami thanks you for coming to check on him.
“Thank you, L/N-san, for the jacket and everything.”
You got up from the bench as well, putting your jacket back on and going to stand next to Nanami.
“Of course! I still seriously can’t believe no one else wanted to come find you. Honestly…” You huff and shake your heads, remembering how everyone brushed your concerns off back at the party.
“Still, are you sure you’re alright, Nanami-san? This wasn’t like the usual you, you know?” You pause and shuffle on your feet for a bit before saying the next part.
“Ah, sorry if that was too personal of me to say. This event was a really huge deal for us, and I want to say thank you.” You turn to face him with a bright smile and a soft blush on your face.
“Thank you for working so hard for us, Nanami-san. I-..we really appreciate it, and I hope you know that.”
Feeling a tinge awkward for saying that, you immediately turned back around and started heading back to the hotel first, waving back to Nanami, telling him not to stay in the cold for too long.
Nanami stood there in that spot for a while after you left, his brain etching every single word that came out of your lips, how your hair looked, the colors of your lips, the scent of your perfume. It was like Cupid came and stuck him in his heart at that very moment. Nanami never heard praise for doing a good job before; it wasn’t like he needed it; at least he thought he didn’t. The results should be enough for Nanami and everyone to be happy. But seeing your bright smile and your kind words being directed at him, that changed something in Nanami that night.
Flashback end :)
“Helloooo? Earth to Nanami?”
Shoko’s voice shakes Nanami out of his head. She raised a suspicious eyebrow at him.
“Are you gonna tell me the reason why you like this chick now or what?”
Nanami smiles to himself, swirling around his drink in his hand and simply said.
“She has a cute smile, that’s all.”
#softy talks to you (·•᷄ࡇ•᷅ ) (•᷄ •᷅ ;)#softy writes#nanami x reader#nanami fluff#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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get ready for my thoughts on yaoi UBI
So I’ve kvetched about UBI in the tags for long enough someone finally asked me what I was going on about so here we go!
I will start with some caveats:
I am British, and so I can only speak about the British specifics.
I have for the past twelve years worked as a professional health economist, and health economics is based on social welfare theory (specifically growing out of Arrow’s work in the 1960s and Sen’s work in the 80s/90s). I literally could talk forever about this, but I won’t. If you want to know more, read the pretty good wikipedia article on welfare economics.
But fundamental to welfare economics is two things: if we make a great big change, do the benefits outweigh the costs? And does the change make a fundamental change for good? (aka cost-benefit analysis and pareto efficiency).
The other thing you need to know about me is that I don’t like activists very much, because they never have to show their working, and my entire professional life is showing my working, and critiquing other people’s working. We all have ideas mate, show me the plan! I love a plan! and this isn't coming from anything but personal experience; I have been to talks by UBI activists before, including ones by economists, but I have never had the case made to me that UBI would be either cost-beneficial OR approach pareto efficient. In fact, it usually reminds me of arguments that are based on some other imaginary world, and then I get so annoyed I want to scream.
In the early 2010s when I was first starting working as an economist, I was asked to build a model to see whether switching a disability benefit from government administered to individual administration would be cost-effective. Essentially, if you were newly in a wheelchair and you needed a ramp building up to your house, would it be better for the government to organise a contractor, or for you to be given a cash transfer and organise it yourself? The answer was that it wasn’t, but anyone who has ever had to hire a builder could have told you that, and the government didn’t have to pay my firm £30,000 to make that decision. But that is what UBI essentially is; a cash transfer where you get cash and the government gets to enjoy less responsibility.
There are 37.5 million people of working age in England. (Nearly) every single working person gets what's called a tax free allowance, where the government doesn’t claim income tax on the first £12,570. (Once you make over £120k, your allowance starts to decrease, and you lose it entirely at I think £150k)
Let’s assume that instead of just not claiming tax on this amount, the government switched to making that £12,570 your UBI. That is £471,375,000,000 just for England - just under half a trillion pounds. In cash, or nearest as in our modern economy. And not one off - Every year.
Okay, let's say that the country does have a spare half a trillion a year (in cash) lying around. What is the benefit to switching from tax free allowance to UBI? Well, let's assume that no one stops working, so there would be the tax receipts from the 20% income tax on the £12,570, and that’s just a shade under £100 million. Not bad.
But if you’ve seen a UBI post, you will know that people like the idea because they will be able to work less. Which probably means that UBI will need to be paid for in some other way. Perhaps by cutting existing benefits. The universal credit cost is around £100 billion. So we’re still £300 billion short, and honestly, you wouldn’t cut all of universal credit anyway, probably only the unemployment benefits, but I’m not digging into the maths on that tonight.
But, look, I am sympathetic. I am a welfarist. I genuinely believe that the economy is not just money, that welfare is happiness, it is utility, it is all the stuff that makes life worth living, and it is the responsibility of the government to maximise the welfare/happiness/utility/quality of life of the country through efficient use of taxation and other sources of money. So people give the government money and it spends it on goods and services and then people get utility, and then they spend their own money to get more utility, and ultimately we can gain intangible things that are incredibly valuable.
But the problem is that cash is cash, cold and hard and very real. I don’t know how unlimited spare time translates into half a trillion real pound coins. I wouldn’t know how to build a model that complex and uncertain, especially as this all assumes that you can live on 12k a year, and that whatever replaces progressive taxation is equally progressive. I haven’t even touched on how having a convoluted welfare state insures it somewhat against being entirely destroyed after a change in political opinions, aka what I call the daily mail test. You think the narrative about people on welfare is bad now? But also, how would you deal with people who didn’t manage their UBI money well? What happens if there is a personal crisis?
The more I look at it, the more the existing system is actually remarkably good value for money. Individualism is expensive. Collective decision making and spending is just cheaper.
Ultimately I don’t see the additional benefit of UBI, requiring a pie in the sky change, when it is far, far, far more cost effective to strengthen the existing regime across the board; taxation law, social safety net, childcare, working laws, education and health - all systems that are already in place, and have a thousand times higher likelihood to be pareto optimal and cost effective than trying to find half a trillion pounds of cash round the back of the sofa, while torching 150 years of progress so middle class people can write their book without having to have a job. If I was conspiracy minded I would say that UBI feels like a psy-op, trying to shut down old fashioned progress in favour of ripping it all out and starting again.
Ultimately, that is my real annoyance. It is far, far, far cheaper for the government to provide you with your new ramp for your house, and that is done through politics, but not fun moonshot politics, the hard shit that isn’t sexy.
#UBI#universal basic income#me being an economist on main again#the third time in twelve years#which is a pretty good record#study economics and be involved in politics#engage with the actual politics you have!#you'd be surprised how many progressive things get passed by conservative governments#and that is because you should never give up hope#I hope I don't get cancelled for my perfectly anodyne takes where I also show my working#and now back to your regularly scheduled blorbo fixating
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dragon riding equipment | aethergarde academy dr
date: november 23, 2024
it's been a sec since i've done a longer post (like a little over a week or smth.. right?)
I was busy with my finals... I still am, but like... I miss posting 😭😭
Equipment will be outlined in aethergarde's student handbook too!
ANYWAY-- enjoy this incredibly long post! I'm sorry if there are any typos, I don't feel like looking over everything (T-T)
how to get your equipment (kinda)
It's pretty easy to find shops that sell dragon riding equipment in cities-- but in rural towns and villages, this kind of equipment can be almost impossible to find near you.
If you are not starting off as a noble like me, buy your equipment within the first week of school-- actually, no, get it ASAP. You should, ideally, start looking for equipment after you retrieve your egg (you need to get your egg as soon as you get to campus).
What if you don't have the equipment by the time you need to start using it? You'll be left out of lessons, standing off to the side while your peers fight or fly, which will absolutely tank your grades.
You should have your equipment before the first month of school ends.
If I have a month to get said equipment, why not wait?
There are lots of dragon riding equipment shops, but not all of them are of good quality. Rough half of the students attending Aethergarde will not be nobles, on top of that, nobles will commission the best shops-- especially luxury brand shops-- to custom make their armory, saddles, etc.
This makes the dragon equipment market rather busy around this time of year.
BUT
I'll help ya'll out, though, I can't promise you'll be the only commissioning things from these places.
school supplies list
let's start with the obvious, you'll need either an enchanted fountain pen, a regular fountain pen + ink, or some quills and ink. Quills and ink are cheaper, they're the equivalent to like, wooden pencils. Fountain pens have the same reputation as mechanical pencils. Enchanted fountain pens are really trendy! Definitely also get a set of gum wax, aka waxers (erasers); kids like to call them gummies (fruit gummy resembling snacks are called jellies here!)
You should get basic stuff like loose parchment (loose leaf paper), an academy bag (a backpack, highly recommend a messenger type bag), and writing books (notebooks to take notes in)
dragon mounting gear: includes such things like a saddle and reins, very similar to horse gear
wind-breaking charm OR riding goggles OR a riding visor: Wind-breaking charms are pretty hard to find-- I mean it's not impossible, but it's just not cheap. Riding goggles are an old rider thing, they aren't used much anymore. Riding goggles look like your typical steampunk-esque goggles. If you want a physical facial wind breaker, get a riding visor. Riding visors look similar to ski visors, but the glass lookin part tends to be tinted orange due to a strong sunglasses effect.
kinda like this ^^^^ but w/o the gas mask; if anyone's got a better idea for this btw, plz let me know!
I'm still in the works with this aspect.. mostly bc I feel like the visors don't fit the fantastical aesthetic-- but I didn't want to immediately default to using magic and charms because I want the rider uniforms to be more unique than the typical 'fighting leathers', yk? Idk, maybe the décolletage cover is unique enough.
Other sight wind-breaking options:
wind-protectant eyedrops: these are rather new (has been released to the market a year before you shift here) the liquid is runny like normal eyedrops when you put them in your eyes, but the substance begins to form a film over your eyes. The film feels exactly like contacts, so it's easy to forget the substance is still on your eye. The film only lasts for a few hours (the film will eventually dissolve), and does not do any damage to the eye. To manually remove it, use the 'antidote' eye drops (wind protectant eyedrops and antidote eyedrops are sold in a set) to lubricate your eyes, then after blinking a few times, remove the film by softly pinching it out of the eye (NOT WITH UR NAILS, USE THE PADS OF YOUR FINGERTIPS!!!). The downside to these eyedrops is that they do not protect against the sun; though, sun-resistance eyedrops are starting to come to the market. You must make sure the sun eyedrops are wind-protectant friendly, or the sun eyedrops won't stick to the film, causing the sun eyedrops to leave your eyes too quickly. These eyedrops are also pretty expensive, but it's still less expensive than rider grade wind-breaker charms.
rider grade sun-resistance charm: A lot of people carry these around just in general, especially during summer, but the one's you should buy should be rider grade. Rider sun charms are stronger and are made to be used when you're flying in the sky for long periods of time. Sun charms need to be replaced every few months; all sun-resistance charms have to (legally) have a label that gradually changes to black-- the darker it is, the less it works. It typically starts to darken after two months of use.
moving on--
fighting attire: Unfortunately, it's not ideal to fight in aethergarde's uniform-- But, it's not like it's impossible if you take the outer coat off. Speaking of uniforms, Aethergarde provides a fighting garment set that comes with the formal uniform (the pretty one). You're required to wear it for fighting lessons, including outside missions; in your third, fourth, and fifth years, you can start replacing elements of your uniform with better material. Why not simply allow students to get their own fighting garments from the start? Students need to know how to fight wearing armor made for higher ranking riders-- the material is different from lower ranking riders' uniform.
you'd be wearing smth like this but w/o all the stringy bits! consists of a lot of wild dragon hide.
a weapon: you'll need to have chosen a weapon before the end of the second month!
optional riding supplies
décolletage cover: Main purpose is to provide warmth for the face and neck area without compromising movement. It's highly recommended-- plus, you'll look cool. Many décolletage covers are charmed to always be warm and protect against harmful gases.
often looks like this but less kinky looking and the bottom part is fitted to the chest-- also not all of them have this same design, but they all do cover the same areas.
it'd fit like this ^^^^ to the body!
riding gloves: helps you have a better grip with weapons or to your saddle. If you're planning to sleep on your dragon while it flies, there's a little belt mechanism that you can loop through the front of the dragon saddle that attaches your hands to the saddle. This helps keep your body from sliding off the dragon during flight. If the front of your saddle isn't comfortable, you can loop the belt through any belt buckle on the dragon; the most common place is around the bottom of the dragon's neck (pictured in the 2nd pic). It's best to get black gloves, but brown can also work.
the highlighted yellow area is, relatively, where the most popular glove attachment is (for napping). There'd be more belts and stuff around the dragon btw, I just didn't feel like doing all that shit.
belt vial holder: you can place travel sized containers of potion bottles in the best + you can attach charms to the belt too
flight bag(s): This bag can be easily attached to your dragon's saddle, most saddles can hold up to 2-4 bags. Bags in general can be tailored to become flight bags, but it's best if the bag has some sort of tight buckle-- you don't want your bag to fall open when you're flying around!
these kinds of bags are common riding bag designs! if you have a smaller satchel you like bringing around, you can put it inside of one of these bags
how to get your equipment (actually) pt.2
Like I mentioned earlier, it's better to buy rider equipment in cities rather than villages and small towns. During rider season, it won't be uncommon to see a bunch of stalls along the streets selling rider stuff.
Getting stuff like academy bags, belt vial holders, and travel bottles from stalls isn't a bad idea, but it's always best to get your most important equipment from an expert with a good reputation.
Unless you know the crafter is great at making everything-- extremely durable saddles, reins, weapons, and fighting attire, you should go to shops that specialize in each part.
recommended shops:
Since common street shops will be busy this time of year, I'm going to recommend you some underground shops.
I cannot guarantee that these places will be completely empty, as they're all well-known in their own right, but they all will be able to cater to you before all of your deadlines.
Make sure you bring the actual school supplies list with you!
middle steed
Name: Aadam El-Hussein
Specialization: dragon saddles, belts, and flight bags
Summary: After his father's arthritis in the hands started becoming worse, Aadam took over Middle Stead. His dad still helps around at the tannery though! As with all the shopkeepers, Aadam and his father are extremely passionate about their jobs. Don't be afraid to ask for any innovative features; like if you think you'd sleep a lot on dragonback, you can ask Aadam to make the saddle more comfortable for you to lay in a certain position. If you're extremely worried about safety, you can always ask to have other safety features implemented in the design.
To get here:
Find the Dragonmead Brewery in Itresal (the city Aethergarde Academy is located in) the alehouse is located on Millmount Street.
There should be a space between that brewery and the bakery next to it-- go down that alleyway and pass two wooden doors. When you get to that third door, knock; either an old man (Aadam's dad) or Aadam himself will open the door
From there, you can order a saddle and all the appropriate equipment you need
Some tips:
Get another saddle commissioned by him every two years; dragons grow relatively fast, so simple tailoring won't always suffice
You can put off getting saddles until your dragon near rider flight age
Instead of bringing your dragon to Middle Stead, bring him into Aethergarde. He'll need measurements to make a proper saddle
Any metal (like in the buckles) should be plated with a matte coat or cold black iron
storm forage
Name: Reynard Ulysses
Specialization: Dragon rider armor and rider fighting attire
Summary: Reynard was born into a rural farmer family, but after his older brother ended up being a rider, Reynard moved to Itresal with his brother. Since Reynard was often tasked with preparing hide, he decided to work at a local butcher shop to help his brother financially. Oftentimes, his brother would come home and complain that he needed to replace his fighting garments. The two of them couldn't afford to keep buying cheap fighting attire, so Reynard started learning how to make it himself. Eventually, he started selling his products to other people-- over the years, he's honed his skills, and became known in underground spaces for having great fighting attire.
To get here:
Located in the southern part of Itresal in Ranger's Way
Go down the alleyway between Steel Whim (blacksmith) and the Loving Fowl Inn
Walk straight until you reach a fork; walk through the rightmost path, then go left at the end of the path
There should be a wooden sign that says Storm Forage on a door; knock on that door, you can order from there
Some tips:
You may see Callisto here
Everything you wear has to be matte; tell Reynard to plate any metal on your fighting attire with cold black iron
waning moon burrows (face wear)
Name: Yessuf Yohannes Tarik
Specialization: rider goggles, rider visors, cloaks, aerodynamic magitech
Summary: Yessuf is the only one out of all the merchants so far who was born of noble status; however, he left home to escape from the classic noble lifestyle in his early 20s. He no longer wants to be a noble, and simply identifies as a commoner. Yessuf was particularly driven to escape his luxurious life to pursue his passions and sell his products at a more reasonable price. Ever since he was young, he had a strong affinity for engineering, but when magitech came around, he took his passion to a whole different level. Though is not a dragon rider, he was always fascinated by dragons, this spurred him on to make technology that would aid riders. Yessuf is an innovative prodigy; Yessuf's shop is most likely to be busier than the all of the ones I've mentioned so far.
To get here:
Located in the central part of Itresal in Quarry Avenue
Find The Pioneer Brewery and ask for a "vermond tea served with a stick of sweetbark"
The bartender will ask you to come to the back to see the new selection of sweetbark; follow the bartender, they will take you to Waning Moon
Some tips:
Literally every single product this guy sells is amazing. Not a single one is bad, he puts in a lot of effort to make everything he sells as good as he can make it
Only sells wind-resistance charms on the weekend, but sells wind an sun-resistance eyedrops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
His wind-sun resistance eyedrops and his wind-resistance charms sell really quick
if there's something you want that he doesn't actively sell, like, perhaps... a flying ship.. you can commission him to make one, but you will prob need to provide him with a lot of the materials
You should get wind-sun resistance charms here; they're cheaper because Yessuf does not base the price on existing market value
the dew drop: potion's shop
Name: Katherine Dowenstein (Blonde lady), Lorelai Dowenstein (Brown hair)
Specialization: Potions, tonics, elixirs, balms, herbs
Summary: Katherine Dowenstein grew up in an orphanage. Despite that, her life was rather peaceful growing up. Since she loved going outdoors, cooking, and baking, her caregivers often remarked that she'd be a great apocathary when she's older. Determined to meet their expectations, she began learning all about different plants and potions through both books and experience. When she was older, she decided to work in a potions' shop, but hated the restrictions placed on her. Kathie grew to hate her job, and her love for potions waned, but it wasn't until she healed a child who was thought to have an incurable disease secretly by giving the child tonics Kathie believed had a chance at helping her through her illness. That child was Lorelai; after she recovered, Lorelai begged to become Kathie's apprentice. By Kathie's request, Lorelai lied and told her parents and everyone else that her body simply fought the virus on its own. Kathie didn't want a lot of people knowing about her skills, as she didn't want to be confined by strict regulations any longer. Kathie started her own potion's shop; Lorelai helps her out.
To get here:
There's two different ways
One way is to find Lorelai; she frequents a bread shop called Crumb Hours at 8AM-10AM to read a book and eat before she goes to work (Mon-Fri)
Ask her if she's reading Time of Barbury by Guinevere Roth; she'll say yes, and she'll ask you to join her on her walk back to The Dew Drop at 10AM
Another way is to find the way to the shop yourself
To do this, go to the same bakery that Lorelai likes to go to, Crumb Hours, and go down the alleyway located between the bakery and Utred's Lenses
Go straight down until you reach the area where the path deviates; go left, continue down the path until you come across a fork
Go down the middle path; then knock on a door labelled The Dew Drop
Notice that the area is not the shop is not selling any potions-- only herbs
Lorelai will answer; tell her if she's selling the book Time of Barbury
She'll nod, and she'll take you down a trapdoor, which you lead you to the actual store
Once you see Kathie, you know you're in the right place
Some tips:
Katherine prefers to go by Kathie!
Ok so do note that the regulations placed on potions and tonics are there to (obviously) make sure that potions and stuff are safe to consume, but since it's so strict, it's hard to be innovative, and use different kinds of ingredients and recipes to make potions
"but what about weapons?"
You'll need to go to a shop that specifically caters to your weapon type; if the store sells weapons that aren't closely related to each other (like swords, bows, and scythes), it's unlikely that to shop is of the best quality. if a shop sells only daggers and swords, that means that the people making the equipment are actually specialized in making those weapons. Since there are so many weapon types, I don't think I can make shopkeepers for each!
#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#lalalian#desired reality#shifting blog#shifters#shifting diary#shifttok#scripting#aethergarde academy dr
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Below is an excerpt from Ch.2 of Door to Door, which I hope to have posted sometime w/in the next 3 days.
As he listened to Evan’s impassioned speech Tommy realized it was a first for him. Being so important to a man that he would come banging on the door at night to deliver an all cards on the table, heart on his sleeve, last stand for their relationship? It was like opening the door to find a talking octopus wriggling around and then it starts quoting Shakespeare. It couldn’t possibly be real. No way. Not a thing.
Is it a thing? It must be. There’s no way I’m fantasizing because I have to sneeze right now and no one sneezes at a time like this if they can help it.
“ . . . Do you have anything to contribute or should I just leave?”
Tommy prayed he could get at least one damn sentence out before the sneeze took over, but no such luck. To say Evan was surprised would be an understatement. Bet you didn’t see that one coming, he chuckled inwardly despite the embarrassment. “Excuse me. Sorry. I, I . . . Evan, I don’t know what to–” A stealth sneeze, awesome. He thought as another struck without warning. Then another. And another. Christ, are we done now?! Tommy gave it a few seconds to make sure there wasn’t another one hiding out in there, waiting to embarrass him even more. “I don’t . . .” again he paused out of an abundance of caution. Okay, we’re in the clear . “ . . . I don’t know what to say. This is a first for me and . . . it’s a lot. I’ve never been with anyone who put up a fight.” He stopped and frowned. “That sounded less predatory in my head. What I meant was I’ve never been with anyone who fought to, y’know . . . keep me.” The jumble of emotions knocked him off balance. His voice grew more and more thin and breathy as a lump rose in his throat. “I'm not the person anyone wants to keep, Evan. Not in the long run.”
The words implied distance, but as Tommy's body swayed Buck noticed he seemed to be gliding closer. That’s a good sign, right? I think. Yes, he wants to be close to me.
“I learned the lesson pretty early in life that no matter what anyone says to me at first, they don't actually mean it, they will throw me away eventually, usually sooner than later.” He forced his gaze from the floor to meet Buck’s eyes. “I grabbed the first excuse I could to throw you away first because it would hurt marginally less.”
Moving cautiously, Buck closed another few inches of distance between them. “Well I'm standing right here, Tommy. To save us. Do you really believe I'd throw you away?”
“I don’t want to, sweetheart.” Tommy shrugged weakly. “But a lifetime of evidence is hard to ignore.”
Hearing Tommy call him sweetheart made Buck’s entire world warm up. “Ignore it anyway.”
*******To read Ch.1 click HERE
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Hello! Gem main here
I think...gem just really likes to be in control, especially when it comes to Pearl. We see this already with robo-pearl and how a switch was flipped when Pearl got the wild card punishment. Before i was "on a scale from 1-10, I love you 0" and then it was suddenly all "omg you're ADORABLE" which is. Kind of interesting how Gem only likes pearl when she physically cannot speak.
Also, there's all the ways she's died so far in Wild Life. She approaches dying as sort of "PLEASE kill me, why can't anyone kill me, its getting so boringggg" which could be her real attitude towards dying, but also a kind of defense mechanism? Like, whenever she does get killed, even if it's unexpected and out of nowhere, she's all "It's about time!" which to me, is her grasping at control when she really has none.
With the 2v1, this is especially evident. Gem had lost control, so she was angry at the person who took it away from her. Gem is probably one of the best lifers at PVP, and she knows this. To have the final battle go down in a way that she knows she can't win, even despite her PVP skills, well...it makes her insane.
anon i fear you cooked. i really like your point of gem preferring to be in control and a lot of her issues spiralling from that, especially the part about her getting killed and trying to play it off
the ren kill was unexpected. even the skizz kill was somewhat unexpected, because even if she was intending for her life to go to skizz (and i don’t think it was a “i want skizz to get it” more than a “i don’t want pearl to get it” situation), she did put in that she was drinking water irl so the kill technically caught her off guard. still, her saying stuff like “finally!” or “good job!” puts her in the position of someone who can control how their lives are lost. (cough cough scott)
again, we can connect this to SL and scott’s sacrifice, which she does reference this season. scott’s sacrifice again, robbed gem of her agency. there was no other choice for scott or for gem; they were pretty much forced into the way it played out. which is why now she’s emphasising how she can control what happens in a way, like how she doesn’t care whether pearl would kill her or not, just whether she has a say in how or if she goes down. anyway i think you’re right
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Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss
This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no im not)
Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1
Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂
Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.
Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:
He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!
More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗
Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.
He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.
He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.
While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂
Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.
#skz#stray kids#kpop#tarot reading#asks#seo changbin#future spouse#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#changbin tarot#skz imagines#reaction#skz scenarios#headcanons#stay#skz stay
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florida!!! - aleksander barkov
aleksander barkov x reader
summary: while in florida on vacation you reconnect with someone from your past
warnings: a mixture of aleksander and sasha used throughout, angst, nsfw implied, small age gap (not specific), not edited (it’s 3am)
word count: 4.1k (oops)
“i’ve got some regrets, i’ll bury them in florida”
the smell of coconut wafted through your nose as you applied sunscreen for the third time that day, your skin not yet used to the heat of fort lauderdale. you were visiting for 2 weeks, a much needed vacation from your life back home, and you already felt relaxed after only two days here.
some of your friends were supposed to join you on the trip, but eventually cancelled, either not having the money or not being able to get the time off from work.
though it would have been more fun with them here, you didn’t mind travelling alone, having studied abroad in college and enjoyed every second of it.
well, mostly - you thought to yourself. despite only being here once before as a child, florida was bringing up some memories in your mind that had been long dormant. it wasn’t the state itself that was to blame though; it was something else. someone, to be more specific.
your phone rang in the back pocket of your shorts, and you swiped answer on the call.
“hey jessie,” you answered with a smile.
“hey! how’s florida?” your best friend asked.
“i wish you were here with me, but it’s still pretty amazing,” you admitted.
“i know, i wish i was there too,” she sighed. “next time, i promise - even if i have to quit my job so i can get the time,” she laughed.
“how will you pay for the trip then genius?”
“leave that to me.”
“alright,” you surrendered with a chuckle.
“see any hot guys yet?” she asked, of course that’s what she wanted to know.
“a few, not that i’m really looking,” you admitted. while there had been a few good looking men you had spotted while you were here, there was one specifically that was occupying your mind for the last few days; and you were trying to drown out any thoughts of him.
“did you decide if you’re going to a game or not?” jessie asked as if she had read your mind.
“maybe - the arena is right near my hotel, but i just don’t know if i’ll find the time,” you brushed it off.
“babe, you’re there for 2 weeks, i think you can find time if you want to.”
“you’re right,” you sighed deeply, flopping onto the soft duvet spread across the bed.
“i always am.”
“i’m gonna ignore that,” you smiled. “it’s not like i would see him anyway,” you thought out loud.
“unless you did.”
“that’s not helpful,” you replied with a roll of your eyes.
“i’m sorry!” jessie apologized. “and don’t roll your eyes at me, i can hear it in your voice,” she teased, and you both laughed.
during the 2 years that you had studied abroad in finland, you had wound up entangled with the one and only aleksander barkov; who in the years since then had blossomed in the national hockey league and become the captain of the florida panthers.
things were good for the most part, despite both of your busy schedules you made it work, and all too quickly found yourself falling for the handsome and humble man. he was a few years older than you, kind, handsome, and a perfect gentleman. there were ups and downs, and he was away from home a lot, but you made it work, keeping things casual and not exactly exclusive; not that you even entertained anyone else when he was gone. unfortunately, like most college relationships, things fell apart when you ended your studies there. you tried for a few months after you finished your courses, but despite your feelings for him, there wasn’t enough to keep you in finland without school to occupy you when he was gone so much of the time.
you thought back to the day that you told him you were leaving; the hurt in his eyes broke your heart, but you both knew the day was coming. you were on borrowed time and you both realized it long before either of you gained the courage to admit it.
“i don’t want you to go, but it’s selfish of me to ask you to stay,” he said sadly, and you buried your head in his chest, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around your body.
“we knew it wasn’t forever right?”
“yeah, we knew,” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head.
a part of you wished it could have been.
“are you listening to me?” jessie’s voice snapped you out of it, and you ran a hand over your face in frustration.
“yeah, sorry,” you shook your head, trying to think about anything else.
“you’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”
“it’s hard not to - knowing how close we are right now,” you sighed in defeat. you had found it hard to stop yourself from wondering how he was doing, besides thriving on a successful hockey team.
“you miss him.” the way she worded it, it wasn’t a question, you realized.
“our lives are so different and it’s been years since i’ve seen him, jess.” the last time you had seen sasha was when he dropped you off at the airport, the kiss goodbye was almost enough to make you stay. you had texted him when you landed back home, and you’d kept in touch for a few weeks, calling eachother here and there but the distance drove a wedge between you. soon enough life got busy and it was easier to lose contact.
“you didn’t answer the question,” she pointed out.
“i don’t even know if he’s the same person he was back then - i’m certainly not. and he’s a hotshot nhl captian now.”
“of course people change, but this is sasha were talking about. do you really think he’d be that different than he was when you knew him?” she asked. you had told her so much about him, it was like she knew him even though they’d never met. and it was true; the sasha you knew would never let the fame get to him.
“i don’t know him anymore.”
“if you say so. i got to get back to work, my break is over. i’ll call you in a few days?”
“sounds good,” you replied. “love you jess.”
“love you too. keep me updated.”
before you could protest she hung up, and you tossed your phone onto the pillow next to you.
you stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, before grabbing your phone again, opening it to contacts without realizing what you were doing until your finger hovered over the name ‘sasha’.
you hesitated for a moment before closing the app, and googling florida panthers tickets instead.
•
three days later you found yourself sat in one of the crimson seats of amerant bank arena, waiting for the game to begin. you casually followed the nhl, not watching every game, but for obvious reasons, you had a soft spot for the south florida team; it helped that they were fun to watch and had become a force to be reckoned with these last few seasons.
as interested as you were in the game, you found it hard to focus on anything but the memories of aleksander that had continued to float around in your mind for the duration of your vacation. you had woken up this morning with an ache between your legs as you dreamt of the last night you had spent tangled with sasha beneath the sheets of his bed. you could still remember the way his hands felt tracing every inch of your body; not even a cold shower could erase it.
you’d considered not going to the game despite having bought a ticket, but wanted to experience a panthers game while you were here, unsure of when you would get the chance to see them play at home again.
the panthers won, and you weren’t sure if it was the adrenaline from the crowd lingering, but you found you thumb hovering over sasha’s contact in you phone again as you sat next to the pool back at the hotel later that night.
you decided against a phone call, typing out a text message before you could talk yourself out of it.
hey - it’s y/n from college. congrats on the win tonight! :)
a simple ‘hey’ didn’t seem like enough - you weren’t even sure if he had the same number after all these years, or if he remembered you at all. the doubt started to set in the second you hit send, the possibility that you hadn’t left as much of an impact on him as he had with you setting in fast.
what if he didn’t remember you at all?
you decided to call jessie to distract your mind, and you were thankful that it didn’t take her long to pick up.
“hey! i was just about to call you!”
“great minds think alike,” you laughed, her voice putting you at ease a little already.
“what’s up?” she asked.
“just sitting by the pool,” you replied. you hadn’t told her you’d decided to go to the game, and you hadn’t decided if you were going to tell her about the text you’d sent or not yet.
“ugh i’m jealous. i’m considering ditching work and flying out there to join you at this point. you’re still there for another week or so hey?” she asked.
“yeah, 9 more days actually. it would be nice to have you here, jess.”
“is everything okay?” she asked, always able to tell when something was bothering you.
“yeah, i think i just got too much sun today, my head hurts.” you weren’t entirely lying, but you just hoped she didn’t check the weather and see that it had been cloudy in fort lauderdale that day.
“bet you never had that problem in finland, hey?” you knew she was teasing, the climate in finland in fact being drastically drearier than florida, but you were hoping to not think about that for at least a few minutes.
“yeah, definitely not.”
despite the cold, you loved everything about finland. it took some getting used to the dark and cold, but each time aleksander showed you around different places around the country, you knew you would find it harder to leave.
for more reasons than just the scenery.
the day he showed you around his home town of tampere finland was the day you realized that you were falling in love with him.
you walked hand in hand down crowded streets, sasha pointing out different things from his childhood, like where he grew up playing hockey, his favourite restaurants, everything.
you looked up at him in wonder as the glow of the street lights illuminated his face, a light pink tinge across his cheeks and nose from the cold. fluffy white snowflakes fell softly around you, gathering atop the beanie that covered his head and across his broad shoulders.
it was only a few months since you had met, but it felt like you had known him for years. you never imagined a day would come where it would feel like you were strangers, even knowing that your time in finland was temporary.
“you don’t have to leave,” he had said, only a month left in your final semester abroad.
you laid bare next to him, his bedsheets the only thing covering your body as you fiddled absentmindedly with his hands, tracing calluses with your fingertips.
“once the semester is over i won’t have a place to stay, i can’t stay at the dorm.” you had gotten a job at a coffee shop that made you enough money to afford food and necessities, but you couldn’t afford an apartment with that salary, and hadn’t intended to get a job in your chosen field here. the plan was always to go home after your schooling was done.
“you could stay here, with me.”
it wasn’t an absurd idea; you spent a lot of nights at aleksanders house anyway when he wasn’t on the road. but in reality, he wasn’t home that often, and you would feel weird living in his house without him.
“you mean it?” you asked, your heart aching at the thought that even if he said yes, you knew your answer was no. part of him knew it too.
a notification went off on your phone, and you snapped out of your daydream, realizing that you’d once again become lost in memories of what once was.
you pulled your phone away from your ear, jessie’s voice getting quieter as she went on about something that happened at work today. you knew you were being a bad friend, and made a mental note to make it up to her later.
you saw that you had a text message and your breath caught in your throat as you tapped on it.
hey ☺️ it’s been a long time. you watched the game?
you stared at the message, suprised he’d responded so fast, if at all.
“i’m sorry, i gotta go, my phones about to die, i’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” jessie said, and you said a quick goodbye before you both hung up, leaving you alone to deal with your thoughts.
what had you intended when you texted sasha? you weren’t sure even you knew, but typed out a reply anyway; deciding you would figure it out as you went.
i was there actually - i’m in florida for a few days.
you impatiently waited as the three dots appeared to indicate that he was typing.
oh wow. thank you for coming to the game.
you smiled.
i wouldn’t miss it.
it took a few minutes after he read the message for him to reply this time, and you worried you’d said something wrong. deciding you didn’t want to sit by the pool anymore, you wrapped your towel around yourself, fighting of the evening chill that had begun to tickle your skin.
you’d made it up to your hotel room by the time your phone went off again, though it was a text this time; it was ringing. you assumed it was jessie, but froze when you saw sasha’s name light up the screen instead.
should i answer it? you thought.
a thousand reasons why you should or shouldn’t ran through your mind, but you ultimately swiped accept and closed the door behind you as you stepped in to your suite.
“hi,” you answered nervously. all these years later and he still had this much of an effect on you.
“hi,” he replied, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his voice. “it really is you.”
“did you think it might not be?” you laughed slightly, and on the other end of the call, aleksander realized how much he’d missed the sound.
“i don’t know, maybe,” he admitted. “it’s good to hear from you.”
your heart skipped a beat.
“how have you been?” you asked, pacing around the room. despite how easily sasha used to be able to put you at ease, you couldn’t stay still.
“i’m good,” he replied, and you had forgotten that he was a man of few words at times. “what about you? what brings you to florida?”
you couldn’t exactly tell him that you had been good save for the fact that he was all you’d thought about for the last few days.
“good,” you decided was your answer. “why did you call instead of texting?” you asked. it had been years since you last spoke, but you felt like you were back in college, calling him while he was on the road to hear about his latest game.
“oh… i just wanted to hear your voice i guess,” he admitted, a blush forming across his face that he was glad you couldn’t see.
sasha sat in his car outside the restaurant where he and some of his teammates had been out to celebrate their victory when you texted, and he had excused himself to make a phone call, quietly sneaking out to his car.
of course he’d thought about you in the years since you left finland, always considering you to be the one that got away, despite the fact that you both knew from the beginning that you’d be leaving.
he hadn’t expected you to text him out of the blue that you were in florida, and it made him anxious to know that you were so close, especially knowing that you had been at the game earlier that day.
a happy anxious.
“yeah, it’s nice to hear your voice too.”
“are you coming to the game later this week?” he asked. you hadn’t planned on it, but the way he asked made you hope it meant that he wanted you to say yes.
“i might be, i’ll have to see about getting a ticket,” you replied, giving an open ended answer.
“if you need a ticket i can send you one,” he said, before quickly adding. “if you want.”
“do you want me there?” you asked, hoping you weren’t being too bold to assume that could be what he meant.
“of course i do.”
•
you spent the next few days feeling like you were floating on air, like you would wake up any moment and this would all be a dream.
you had been texting aleksander almost constantly, and he called you every night, catching up on the years you had missed, though it felt like no time had passed.
you were suprised when he had asked you to meet him after the game tomorrow, which he had in fact gotten you a ticket for. you tried to offer to pay for it, but he refused. you knew he could easily get them for free as the captain, but still felt wrong taking it.
you were getting ready to head to the arena, when your phone rang.
“are you ever actually working when you’re at your job?” you laughed as you accepted the call from jessie.
“i’m on my break for your information,” she argued playfully.
“fair enough. how are things back home?”
“boring without you of course,” she laughed.
“obviously,” you teased.
“did you decide if you’re going to the game tonight?” she asked, and you half wondered if she had cameras watching you.
“i am actually getting ready to go right now, stalker.”
“good - i’m sure you’ll have a great time,” she replied. “and who knows, maybe you’ll run into a certain finnish captian while you’re there…”
“i doubt it,” you lied. you still hadn’t told her that you’d already gone to a game, or that you’d been talking with sasha non stop for the last three days.
“you never know. cupid works in mysterious ways.”
“jess…”
“i know im just teasing.”
you talked for a few more minutes before you had to leave to go the arena, still thinking about what she had said.
if only she knew, you laughed to yourself.
•
you waited in your rental car after the game for aleksander to text you where to meet him, giving him time to shower and talk with the team after yet another panthers win.
he had let them know that he wouldn’t be joining them to celebrate tonight, but hadn’t told them why, deciding to keep your existence a secret for now as neither of you were sure exactly that this was.
you phone went off and you checked to see that he had sent you his location, still at the arena but he must have parked on the other side where fans couldn’t usually go.
you drove over until you saw him standing outside the players entrance, and your heart rate sped up.
talking on the phone was one thing, but seeing him in person was different.
you hoped you looked okay as you parked and got out, walking up to him with a smile.
“hey,” he smiled, and you couldn’t resist the urge to embrace him in a hug, which he thankfully returned.
sasha felt a pang in his heart as he held you tight to his chest, your arms wrapped around the back of his neck. he missed this; sure he had moved on with his life in the time you had spent apart, but there was a part of him that always wondered what it would have been like to have you there by his side the whole time.
“did you get taller?” you laughed, and he smiled, blushing softly like he always did anytime you complimented him.
“maybe,” he shrugged as he felt your arms release their grip on him. as you stepped back, he took in your appearance. you had grown up slightly since he’d watched you board a plane and leave him behind, but the years had been good to you.
“congrats on the win by the way,” you said, suprised at how the nerves had melted away. so far, he was still the same sasha, and you’d always found it easy to talk to him.
“thank you,” he said shyly, humble as ever.
“where did you wanna go?” you asked.
“do you want to get coffee?”
“sure,” you smiled. “lead the way, captain.”
•
you and sasha spent nearly three hours in the small coffee shop, catching up on anything you’d missed telling eachother over the phone, and repeating somethings you already had. neither of you minded, and when the barista let you guys know that they’d be closing up soon, you found yourself wishing you had more time.
just like in finland.
there was no one else in the coffee shop since it was late at night by now, and the soft music was quickly making you tired despite the caffeine in your system.
“i should take you home,” he offered, and then as if he read your mind, added. “i can pick you up tomorrow morning and take you to your car if you want.”
“sure - thank you,” he helped you put on your light jacket you had worn despite the florida heat, and you hesitated before slipping your hand into his as he walked beside you to his car, fingers interlocking.
once you were back at your hotel, you hesitated before getting out of the car.
“do you want to come up with me?” too scared to see his reaction, you looked down at your lap as you waited for his answer, but the sound of the engine shutting off made you lift you gaze and meet his eyes.
“i’d like that.”
•
you woke up to the feeling of sasha’s fingers tracing patterns on the bare skin of your shoulder, and cuddled closer into his chest as the sunlight crept in through a crack in the curtains.
“good morning,” he whispered.
“good morning,” you repeated, feeling the warmth of his arms wrapping around you, your legs tangled with his beneath the covers.
“i missed this,” he admitted, and you hummed in response.
“me too.”
he was silent for a moment, as if he was mustering up the courage to ask you his next question.
“do you ever wonder what things would be like if you had stayed in finland?”
you looked up at him, your eyes meeting.
“yeah, a lot actually,” you admitted. “sometimes i regret leaving.”
“you had to go,” he said, but you could tell that it had hurt him when you left. maybe as much as it had hurt you.
“it was one of the hardest things i ever did. leaving you.”
“we found eachother again though,” he replied, always finding a way to look at things in a positive light. reality set in as you realized the harsh truth.
“i’m only in florida for a few more days sasha,” you confessed, and you felt guilty. surely he knew that you had to leave again, but it still felt like you were doing something wrong.
“i know,” he assured you. “no one stays anywhere forever.” you knew he hadn’t meant it with any hostility.
“do you like it here in florida?” you asked, trying to shift the subject off of you leaving. “it’s so different from home.”
“it’s very different, but it’s nice.” he agreed, and while he knew when you called finland home you meant his, but there was a time when you called it home as well, even if you were just a guest there.
“yeah, it’s really nice,” you agreed.
“will you visit again?” he asked the question you had been dreading.
“i don’t know when i’ll be able to,” you said honestly. “but i’ll try, sasha.”
he smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead.
“we play in your hometown next month,” he remembered aloud, and you smiled, knowing you would see him again sooner than you imagined.
“i’ll have to get a ticket,” you smiled at him.
“i think i can help with that.”
disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned
#nhl#nhl fic#nhl imagine#real person fiction#hockey#sasha barkov fic#sasha barkov x reader#sasha barkov#aleksander barkov fic#aleksander barkov x reader#aleksander barkov#barkov#fla panthers#florida panthers fic#florida#florida panthers#hockey fic
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Lily Evans had always been on James Potter's radar. At the beginning she had been the annoying girl who followed the rules, never did anything fun, and never let anyone do anything fun. Then, she had been one of the first girls James had noticed as pretty and hot when he hit puberty. At that time, Lily Evans had been a game to prove something to his friends and annoy Snape.
Later, James had dated other girls and was sure the Lily Evans dilemma was done and over.
Lily Evans was just another girl James knew. Not interesting enough. Just another classmate he loved to compete with and piss off. That was it, right?
It was purely coincidence that James couldn't get his eyes away from her now. It was simply weird that she wasn't in the common room with her nose stuck in a book, but rather socializing. And with a boy for that matter... What was his name again?
The bloke was making her laugh like a fool. She even had her cheeks slightly pink. She seemed to be having fun. Lily Evans didn't know how to have fun, did she?
Was was going on? Penny Prefect Evans didn't socialize. Her only friend was Snivellus and that was sad because he couldn't be considered a good friend even.
Now a boy, a stupid boy was making her laugh out of nowhere?
James didn't like this. He didn't care. He just didn't like it.
"Who's that?" he asked casually to his friends.
They had been doing homework quietly, or rather trying to. It was mainly Peter playing on his Nintendo, Remus reading a book, Sirius on his lap, trying to bother Peter. And James tossing his rugby ball high and higher then grabbing it back. But homework nevertheless. A rather normal afternoon.
"Who?" Sirius asked, hitting Peter's head and distracting him.
"Sirius! I was in first place!" he protested. Sirius giggled.
James ignored his blond friend "That bloke talking with Evans" he shrugged at the end to emphasize that he didn't care.
The three boys turned to look, even Remus looked up from his book.
"Luke Gardener" the latter answered.
"Who?"
"He's a seventh year" Remus explained "Girls consider him cute. Shy, not hot or sexy but cute"
That wanker didn't look shy at all. He didn't stop talking. What was he even talking about?
"How do you know that?" Sirius asked with a giggle.
"I listen to girls' conversations without wanting sometimes" Remus said "They either consider me one of them or completely invisible. Whatever theory is possible"
"I'm pretty sure that's not true, Moony"
"Well, they certainly notice you" Remus shrugged. Sirius smirked.
James was not even paying attention. His focus was on the way Evans was flipping her hair back. It looked weird on her.
"Why is he even talking to Evans, anyway?" James snapped without thinking.
"I bet he is asking her for help with his homework" Peter intervened, still looking at the little screen.
It didn't look like it. Evans didn't like when arseholes wanted to ask her for help or wanted to pay her to do their work for them. James knew that. She wasn't Remus.
To confirm it, Remus said:
"Luke has top marks in everything..." then he blushed realizing what he said "So, I've heard"
What a wanker!
"Gardener, why does it sound familiar?" James tapped his chin.
"Wasn't a Logan Gardener our Rugby Captian in our thrid year?" Sirius frowned.
Yes! That was why that bloke was familiar. James remembered Logan Gardener from years ago. He was a killing rugby player, popular and had a cute blond girlfriend. James used to believe he was cool. But he didn't know he had a little brother.
"Right!" James frowned "Ha..." he hissed "It is still weird that Gardener would be talking to Evans..."
None of his friends seemed to even care.
"What do you think he wants from her?"
Remus and Peter were silent. Sirius let out a chuckle.
"Isn't obvious, Prongs?"
James raised an eyebrow.
"He wants a good snog and if he is lucky maybe a good shag"
As Remus hit Sirius's head, James was in shock. Apart from Snivellus, he wasn't aware of blokes being interested on Evans. Sure, she had grown to be prettier than she used to be. Sure, she had a nice body to look at specially when she wore a tight blouse. Sure, she even had a nice pair of boobs that James kind of stared when she wore a neckline.
But this was Lily Evans they were talking about. She was nosy, and annoying, and a teacher's pet. She was friends with Snivellus and nobody liked Snivellus. Everyone knew she was not for a snog. Worse a shag. You were more likely to get a good slap and a nice kick in the balls before getting to first base or even getting a chaste kiss from her.
Lily Evans was not that kind of girl. She didn't snog, she didn't date... Worse! She didn't shag....
James let out a nervous giggle that soon turned into a nervous laughter that sounded from an evil character from a Disney Movie. James's three friends looked at him like he had gone mental.
"Right..." he said as he continued laughing "That's ridiculous"
"Yeah," Sirius snorted "knowing his brother Logan's cute girlfriends, you would believe this bloke had better taste"
"Lily is pretty" Remus intervened "And rather nice"
"Isn't she dating Snivellus?" Peter asked, finally looking up from his console.
"They are not even talking" James responded immediately, eyes still on the weird scene "I think they got into a fight"
"That's why Gardener is taking his chance" Sirius said with a stupid smirk "Maybe he is getting better luck that you did on fourth year"
James loved Sirius but sometimes he wanted to hit his face when he did stupid jokes like those.
James had concluded that the Lily Evans Game was too difficult for him. And well, he started dating Mary and he stopped trying to get Evans's attention.
He had thought Evans was a lost case even. But Sirius was right, Luke Gardener was doing a perfect good job. And James didn't like it at all.
Call it pride, call it jealousy, James Potter didn't care.
"Well, we will see about that"
James wasn't good at thinking before acting. So he raised to his feet with determination.
"What are you doing, Prongs?" Remus asked rather scared.
James considered his answer "Giving a little enterteinment to this evening"
James knew that Sirius was going to sit up and grin in expectation. Peter even put away his console and Remus simply rolled his eyes.
With confidence, James walked towards the strange couple.
"And I even solve puzzles on my free time... You know those of pretty landscapes?"
God! This boy was a bloody nerd.
"Oh, those are lovely!" Evans was saying when James started giggling nervously behind them.
That's when they acknowdelged his presence and they weren't happy about it.
"I love puzzles too!" James lied "I even solve them with my dad all the time"
Lily wasn't even subtle when she rolled her eyes in annoyance. James ignored that.
"Potter" Gardener said "We were in the middle of something"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, in the middle of something important, Potter!"
A grin appeared on James's face as everytime Lily got cutely annoyed by him.
"Very well..." James chanted as he hit Gardener's shoulder "Bruce..."
"My name is Luke"
James raised an eyebrow "And what did I say?"
"You said Bruce..."
But Lily Evans interrupted.
"We're not in the mood for your stupid jokes, or pranks or whatever this is, Potter" Lily groaned "So why don't you just fuck off?"
"Rude!" James gasped "I was only reminding you of something you love, dear Evans..." and as he said this, he put his arm around her shoulder but she pushed him away "The rules, and how Jack here..."
"Luke..." he said under his breath with annoyance.
"Is breaking the rules by being here" James continued "It is almost carefew and no people from other houses are supposed to be in The Gryffindor Common Room"
"For your information, Potter!" Lily spat "It is barely 4 p.m and Anyway... Luke is a Gryffindor"
"Whaaat??" James frowned "You're not a Gryffindor!"
Gardener was losing patience "Yes, I am"
"How come I've never seen you before?"
The boy blinked "You have Potter, many many times..." he hissed "It's just that you didn't know I existed"
"Pfffff....." James placed his arms around their shoulders "That's funny..."
Lily pushed his arm away again.
"I knew your brother Logan"
"Yeah, I know"
"How is that old'chap?"
Lily Evans took a deep breath.
"What do you want, Potter?"
You. A voice said inside his brain. James panicked.
"Remus!" he thought fast "Remus wanted me to ask you if you'd replace him as your token Gryffindor male best friend"
James knew Remus was listening and fuming him with his eyes.
"Oh, I am not replacing Remus" Lily answered.
"Then.... Remus wants to know..." James cleared his throat as he placed his hands on his pockets "Why... Why do you hang out with this guy....Why?"
Lily snorted "Oh, Remus wants to know?"
"Yes!"
"Then why doesn't he ask me himself?"
"Because he is shy!" James snapped "And I am a good friend"
"Is that so?"
"Yes! I offered to ask you for him"
Lily turned to look at the spot where the boys where. The three of them immediately looked away and pretended to be doing something else. Very smooth....
"Well if Remus wants to know so badly..." Lily said rather pissed "You should tell him that Luke and I are not friends..."
"Oh really?"
Luke frowned rather hurt and James was satisfied.
"No, we are not friends...." Lily added "We are dating!!"
While all the color on James's face was gone, Luke Gardener looked like a Christmas Tree.
"We are?"
Lily hestitated. "Yes. As in boyfriend and girlfriend!" then she went as red as her hair.
James wanted to punch the grin out of Gardener's stupid face,
"Yes, we are, Potter"
When Gardener put an arm around Evans and she blushed, James wanted to die.
This was a lie. They couldn't be dating. Lily Evans couldn't be dating that random bloke. She was special. She deserved someone special. That's what James told everyone who believed Snape was her boyfriend in the past.
And it hurt. I hurt because who was Luke Gardener to have the previledge of being Lily Evans's first boyfriend. To make her laugh, to make her happy. To be able to kiss that beautiful mouth and hold her delicate waist. To be able to be the one she whispers for at night, and be the reason she smiles in the morning. To be able to touch her skin and make her shiver....
NO! NO NO NO NO.... James, get that image out of your head.
Maybe it was the fact that fourteen-year-old James had tried so hard to get her attention without results that it pissed him that a random Jake Gardener would make her say yes.
She deserved better!
"Youcannotbedating!!" James exclaimed with a high-pitched voice. It was rather embarrassing.
"For your information, Potter" Lily snapped "Yes, I can. I can do whatever I want"
Gardener was using that i'm-sorry-mate-but-actually-not sorry-fuck-you-i-won expression.
"And... It is none of your business, anyway..."
James shrugged "I was asking for Remus" he explained
"Whatever" Lily said, without believing him.
"Remus was just worried that you won't be spending time with him because of your...because of your... " he couldn't say it "because of him... Because of Bryan..."
"My name is Luke! Luke! It doesn't even rime with Bryan"
"Whatever, Mike"
Luke groaned.
Lily ignored that.
"Whatever I have to talk with Remus, I will talk with Remus face to face!" Lily spat "Thank you very much"
"Alright! I'll tell Remus exactly that"
"Well fuck off and tell him!"
"Yes I will!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Staring at Lily's beautiful angry face, James realized how much he wanted to kiss her right now. He was noticing the shades of yellow in her green eyes, Her freckles across her nose. Her long eyelashes and how wet and pink her lips were. Her thick ginger eyebrows and her browny shadow contrasting her pale skin.
Lily Evans was even more pretty than he thought.
She made James's heart jump inside his chest and feel something flying inside his tummy. And even some parts of his body began twitching.
What the fuck?
"I...should probably go..." Gardener interrupted the intense staring contest "I have homework to do"
Lily looked away first.
"No, Luke! Wait!" Lily said, grabbing his wrist. His wrist! "Do you want to maybe have a stroll outside...and ....talk?"
James blinked. Lily Evans didn't say no to doing homework. Lily Evans didn't blush for a boy and put a lock of hair behind her ear for a boy.
Gardener gave James a suspicious look. Then smiled at Lily.
"Sure, Lily" he said "I would like that"
James wanted to scream.
Lily gave him a nasty look before taking Gardener's hand. HIS HAND!, and walking to the door.
"Wait, Evans...."
James was going to follow them and maybe humiliate himself in the process. But luckily someone stopped him.
"Well, that was awkward" Sirius laughed. He laughed! "I can't believe Penny Prefect has a boyfriend"
James was miserable.
"I can't believe you used me for that stupid conversation" Remus tutted as he approached.
"And I can't believe...." Peter said, trying to feel included "I can't believe I lost my tournament to watch that pathetic attempt of flirting..." he laughed awkardly "That was embarrassing, am I right?"
"Years of attempts and Gardener just tried once and beated you, Prongsie" Sirius giggled.
"He didn't even try. It was Lily who asked him out so..." Remus shutted up when he saw James's expression.
"Will you fuck off?" James didn't sound offended, like they had hurt his pride. He sounded heartbroken and tired.
"It was a joke" Peter tried.
"Why do you even care, Prongs?" Sirius added "Evans Operation is far over... We don't care that you totally lost!" he grinned.
"BECAUSE I FANCY HER!" James screamed so hard that several people turned to look. His friends were in shock.
James blinked realizing what he had said and how true those words were. It wasn't about a game or a pride show anymore. He actually couldn't stop thinking about her. He thought of Lily Evans when he aced an exam, and wanted to see her angry reaction to his success. He thought of Lily Evans when he made a prank with his friends and wanted to see how pissed Lily Evans would be and how she would threathen them to tell a teacher. He thought of Lily Evans when he played rugby and he secretly wished she would be cheering from the stairs.
Everything he did was because and for Lily Evans. And dammit, he didn't care what others thought. Lily Evans was the prettiest girl in school.
"I fancy Lily Evans" he repeated more sure now "And it is real this time" he laughed "It is real"
James's friends were processing his words rather differently. Peter was openmouthed because he probably thought about all those times when Lily and James yelled at each other. Remus was smiling probably because he was a romance sucker and probably something like this happened to one of those characters from his books. And Sirius...
Sirius seemed to not like the idea at all.
"Prongs..."
"Piss off, Sirius" James said before his best friend would enlist all the negative things he could find in Lily Evans, and judging on how much Sirius hated her (as much as Snivellus), they were a lot.
"I want to be alone, right now" James added "Okay?" he smiled at the end. Just in case.
James was going to the only place he could think about his discovery. The Rugby Pitch. And probably drown himself in exercise.
#I don't like the version of James seeing Lily for the first time at eleven and realizing he was in love with her#Life and teenagers are more complicated than that#marauders#maraudersera#muggle au#james potter#lily evans#jily#james x lily#sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew
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hello i was tagged by @18minutemajor for WIP Wednesday. it is not Wednesday but i am also not a cop so . here we gooo!!!!!!! tagging my esteemed colleagues (very politely and with no pressure!!!):
@neonfretra @oensible @sorrellegiance @moregraceful @stereax
@wheelsnipecelebrini
@korshrimpski (EDIT: it won’t?? let me tag you. unless these are on separate lines <3)
what's in-progress in your life <3 writing? art? recipe? skill acquisition?
if any crafty people see this - if ANYONE sees this - and would like to join in, feel free and consider yourself tagged <3 (and tag me back so i can see your stuff!!!) link to 18minutemajor's post if yall curious :3 my VERY long wip dump + ramblings under the cut!
its christmas soon and i like to paint gifts for my friends + and i'm finally revisiting my anime/lineart/inking era (here you are K!! my lineart past, present, and future!! <3) so here are some things i've been working on/coming back to/MAY NEVER FINISH: hockey related:
this is juraj slafkovsky and his dinky little middle part which he can absolutely learn to style into something a little less dinky but never does. i am so charmed by him. i imagine he just rocks it because his pretty privilege supersedes dinky middle parts . LMAO!!
here is Sasuke from my Naruto Hockey AU. I am a little stuck on jersey mockups lol. here he is. our haunted little 1OA who is absolutely normal and regular about his captain (LOUD incorrect buzzer):
personal oc art
wanna know some puckpocketed deep lore? i've never been one to make OCs. i was just not a very creative kid tbh. spent all my time drawing sailor moon instead. i still go back to her sometimes because she is one of my favourite shapes in the WORLD!!
in my 20s i took up playing d&d because of the. uh. plague. <3 and got pretty close to having OCs!! those count right? anyway. here is my tavern-wench-turned-wizard!!! i think i painted this 2 years ago? <- put dates on your works guys it saves lives. her name is Mel (short for Melins (pronounced like melons. on account of her knockers. can you tell i never grew out of my 12 yr old booby/cock joke era?) i revisited Mel recently and have started painting her in earnest again!! :3
I briefly dated someone who was very into streetwear and fashion, and I fell down a techwear/gorpcore/cyberpunk rabbit hole for a couple days out of curiosity. i remember literally zero salient info on any of it except the broad strokes of silhouetting and Vibes. what i emerged with, however, was a ?? sorta OC?? im not sure what to call them. they dont rly have a name or gender. I did this little sheet ages ago + the aborted attempt at a portrait later:
Here are my most recent explorations (i have been doing SOOOO much art. <3) which include:
unfinished character sheet + chibi art. I played with their jacket (much more structured/square/tailored thing) and added a lotta random buckles and belts. i took textiles class years ago and have a little experience in garment construction. and i know for a fact this thing does not make any sense. it hurts me to look at a little bit LMAO so i've paused it while i go draft patterns (badly. i was never good at drafting. i think i may have to break out my scrap fabric stash and hand sew a real life mock-up. HELP!)
here is me having fun with them and imagining them as some kind of cyber-fisherman. the best part of every game is the fishing mini-game to me. i love fishing mini-games so much. I made their hair really big because i wanted them to have big unwieldy hair and the vibes told me i should add more movement to the piece aside from the fishing line. I messed with their jacket AGAIN because i can't stop thinking about what kinda jacket they'd wear. gorp-core ? idk. it sure is something!
gifts for my friends :3
back in my weeb era for real YAYYYY!!! up til now i'd been making hockey art using a zero pressure sensitivity pen brush because i simply did NOT want to deal with that. it is and has always been a barrier to me making art that uses line art. <3 easing my way back into it though!
I used to paint gifts for my friends and then get them printed into lil posters and mount them on nice backing :3 i am now ready and back to painting.
Here is my girlbestie's OC. just a rough pose sketch. i think im pretty unsatisfied with the gesture of the head/hand. i wanted to include her gun in some way. i fear i may have to rework the pose entirely <3
For the genshin girlies.. here are some of my friends fave characters.
Yelan - this one i started many holidays ago and put on the backburner because the colouring was wigging me out. you can see where i started rendering stuff + got sidetracked and started on something else (the crystal choker IM LAUGHING @ past me...)
Ayaka - I reaaally like what i did here with the perspective + foreshortening. I don't know if the pose or expression is in-character or not, but i had fun :3 got stunlocked looking at references of genshin weapons so this is where i left off:
if you made it all the way down here hi... <3 ice hockey really cracked the ketchup bottle open for me when it comes to making art again. i love the communities i've found, and i'm inspired by every artist on here every day. thanks for being so cool + have a great day :)
#hiiii... late with starbucks (gigantic wip dump now i feel good about sharing again)#puckpainting#tag game#eye contact#the . the tag thingy for half of these aint working HELP <3
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Need some help cuz im writing something and idk how to write Geno. Could u tell me how you write him or some tips and how he is diff from classic??? I tried writing him and he just acts like some random dude
Also hot take: Geno x Dream (btw what would be a good ship name for them)
Hey! Geno as a character is a lot more bitter and manipulative than Sans. He’s confident only because he has no reason for being shy and embarrassed when he’s lost so much hope and respect for himself. He knows he’s a “bad person”, and yet still manipulates people anyways b/c he sees no redemption for himself (pulled from his source.)
How I write the guy: I usually write Geno in ships or post save screen, when he got his happy ending and he’s on the surface. In those scenarios, I write GENO to be a lot quieter than Sans and kinda just observing everything. He doesn’t really give his input on a lot because he subconsciously doesn’t believe he’s allowed to after what he’s done (this only extends to his FAMILY. I see him the absolute opposite in relationships. Slightly emotionally abusive in those, but I purposefully pair him with characters who are equally toxic that they end up just balancing each other out. Nightmare being an example.) With strangers, I see him as closed off and very fake. Because he’s so observant, he will clock you a lot quicker than Classic, and will only step in if you interfere with his happy ending. He’s fiercely protective and will lose his goddamn MIND if one of his friends/ family gets hurt (this includes Frisk EXTRA bc he does NOT want them to ever reset). He’s kinda like Error but quiet and reserved, only being kind and soft with those he cares for and then dry and blunt to everyone else. He’s passive towards children of course, but if you’re an adult, he will full on ignore you with a blank face and hide behind Papyrus while on his phone or shove Frisk in front of him to do the talking. Because of this, he DOES tend to cling in his own way. Not because he doesn’t wanna be alone or he’s scared of losing someone, but because he does not want to deal with social situations on his own. He will not leave the house or his lab to go to the store unless he has someone that will walk with him.
When he IS forced into a position where he has to talk, he’s dry and keeps up the fakest smile ever. His laugh is literally robotic and he’s a master at making anyone around him uncomfortable enough to leave the convo on their own with how closed off he is. He, again, has no shame and will go on his phone while talking to you with one worded responses. He’s not a fun guy to try to talk to, and he doesn’t have many friends outside of his family and the monsters he knew prior bc of this. Goodluck even trying to FLIRT with him. He will never be interested. You’d have to be in the WORK.
However, in Roseverse, he doesn’t get his happy ending, so I’ll try to pull from that experience. In RoseVerse, Geno was forced into the God of Limbo role after Reaper was desperate to keep him from dying when he attempted to leave the save screen, so he’s a lot more bitter and cruel to everyone, even those he cares for. The only expeditions are Error and Fresh since Fate and Destiny attempt to shove them into a brotherly dynamic, and he pities the two bc all three are very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s kind to Error and patient with Error, but even then, he’s pretty quiet and isn’t one to smile. I think he’d act like this in the Save Screen too, minus with his interactions with Frisk where he does act kindly to them (both to manipulate them, but also bc he does have a soft spot for them)
Geno with a child or in a family dynamic would be a lot softer. In BlackCoffeeVerse, Geno and Nightmare DO have a child named Haze who he’s very gentle with. GENO is rude and blunt towards Nightmare (they love each other I swear nightmare just needs someone to put him in his place) but very soft and sweet to his child. I think any child that comes from him or is under his care would be the expecting to his rudeness and manipulative tendencies. He’d see them as all the remaining good in him, and would be determined to protect them and shield them from everything- including his own cruelty.
I’ve seen a bit of GENO and Dream flying around and I think it has so much potential! I think a good ship name for them would be Ichor, which is the golden blood of gods!
#undertale#undertaleau#undertale multiverse#cooling rosa answers silly stuff#GENO sans#RoseVerse#genoxdream#ichor ship
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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i have a new tech gore picture for you all
#i KNOW that’s all anyone wants from me anyway so i have a pretty good one this time.#if you’re ready for it.
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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