#i IMMEDIATELY SOBBED LMAO
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this is possibly not the best time to mention it but here i am, sleep deprived and hungover from the snk finale. and i've just turned the tv on to find that the ICE SKATING GRAND PRIX is currently airing????
these fictional drawing shows really have taken over my fucking life haven't they
#they just announced ''the next skater representing Japan'' and guess what#i IMMEDIATELY SOBBED LMAO#yuri!!! on ice#yuri on ice#i have a lot of feelings and zero chill ok!!!!#😭😭😭😭#my brain feels on fire lmao#what did i expect i knew this was an actual sports!!#so why am i so surprised??#real ice skating is even more beautiful than yoi made it look#isu grand prix#i'm recognizing steps!!! it's amazing??
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"Look! That must be its heart! All you have to do is climb up there and carve the rune."
#these ones are EXTRA garbage lmao#but this is the best video clip I can find so#the way he immediately runs to check on her and puts his arm around her should and back i'm sobbing#the dragon prince#rayllum#tdp spoilers#tdp s6 spoilers
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genshin impact gif challenge ✦
[1/?] story quests → diluvies chapter, act i: the remains of the past day
"you will see much in the human world, from the delightful to the depressing. and one day, when you have dwelt among humanity long enough, you will be placed to bring judgment over all as the spokesperson for fontaine's past."
#genshin impact#genshinedit#genshinimpactedit#genshinet#neuvillette#mine*#neuvillette*#gifchallenge*#*incoherent sobbing* NEUVILLETTEEEEEEEE#i love his sq so fucking much it made me sob like a baby after i was done with it#(still makes me sob every time i think about this quest ngl)#you don't understand i had venti's sq as my favourite for So Long bc of the emotional impact it left on me after it was done#and then this dropped in 4.1 and it immediately rose up to be my fave THAT is how good it is to me#everything about neuvi just completely shattered my initial expectations of him and it includes this quest it's soskjdhfskj#NEUVILLETTE I LOVE U#im so normal about him i swear#also i'll be making a separate gifset for him later down the line for this challenge#bc he's very lore relevant im waiting to see if he'll get more involvement in a possible interlude quest or if he gets a second sq#same goes for furina im just waiting until 4.6 to see what happens basically LMAO
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sometimes i wonder if i really am ugly or if i just am incapable as seeing myself as human or attractive in any way and nothing but a nuisance but then i remember how muhc people stare at me in public
#and always have#& thats a lot btw#i will get triple takes#and full dead on stares#but mostly where i live for some reason#ive always loved cities in particular because no one gives a fuck#everyone treats me just like . a part of them#one time i sat on the ground while waiting for the bus n people saw me n ?? sat down next to me ???#like i am just. one of them. they can b me too#little things like that actually make such a wild difference in my mental state LMAO#the tiniest sense of community literally the bare CRUMBS less than a crumb even will get me on the floor sobbing#being isolated ur whole life except family treating u like shit will do that to a mf#even just people asking me for things#someone asking if we've passed a certain stop like. wait u think i know that? u dont think im an idiot? youre not going to belittle me ?#youre not going to ask me a question and immediately cut me off to tell me i dont know anything?
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This interaction has got me squealing at the highest of frequencies (x)
#H‚JJA‚WJJAUWH&JWHWJUHUUU;;;_;;;; CRYING SCREAMING SOBBING WEEPING‚ HOW'D THEY MANAGE TO MAKE SUCH WHOLESOME PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL#FOR /LENSES/ OF ALL THINGS❓❗#Thjis is so delightful to me .. he is HELPING him put on a BLUE CONTACT LENS#and he's SO EXCITED ABT IT BCUZ IT'S THE SAME AS RONA'S EYE COLOR.........#WAILS !!!!!!!!! MEBI MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED!!!YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡#kyuushi#kyuuketsuki sugu shinu#the vampire dies in no time#tvdint#john#john the armadillo#mebiyatsu#sorry for ocasionally going insane over kyuushi merch‚it's just . . . Sososo cute i'm unable to be normal abt it<3#Literally just saw this on my twt feed & had to come share it immediately as fast as i could LMAO i got too excited i love them your honor.
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all right i just finished the assassin's apprentice and i am absolutely unwell
#i sobbed at the last page#no actually i started sobbing 100 pages prior and then never stopped lmao#ROBIN HOBB YOU GOT ME IN YOUR CLUTCHES#the assassins apprentice#the farseer trilogy#i need to read the next book immediately i am so stressed out
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started working on that knight au after having a breakdown in my bathroom and bawling my eyes out but it's okay because i had a snack and calmed down
#realized i missed my meds for like the last three days so thats probably why i just immediately burst into tears#like sobbing#over fucking nothing but whats new lmao#001.
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Got to the pool scene in Gideon the Ninth sometime after 3 in the morning
BRUH
Anyways I'm a changed person now
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Every fucking queer love story I consume completely ruins me
#FUCK#probably bc I never imagined to be able to experience actual queer love stories in media bc growing up it was always a joke#but jfc even the tiniest queer plot#doesn’t matter if it’s happy or sad or boring or anything#it reduces me to a crying mess for weeks#most recently it’s tlou obviously#the last of us#bill and frank#but like San junipero on black mirror did it#or the haunting of bly manor#or… others but I’m drunk and crying rn I can’t handle it#lgbt#lgbtq#queer#tlou#fuck man even listening to abba and assigning my own gay story to a song makes me sob like a baby#or like maybe bc my first ever relationship was with a girl when I was 17 and I thought we were going to get married#and she was the love of my life before I even really knew what love was or what the queer experience is like I was just so overcome by love#and I WISH I could feel that way about someone again lmao#even though we were toxic and awful just I’ve never felt that overwhelming infatuation/immediate love for someone
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"Everyone always leaves/abandons/rejects me =C" is such a huge red flag for me. Saw someone saying this on social media the other day and knee-jerk instinct was "blockblockblock"
#like I understand it can feel like you are constantly being abandoned or rejected especially if you have rejection sensitivity#but in my personal experience this often comes from assuming the worst of the people around you due to anxiety#and often translates into not communicating your needs and wants to friends and assuming they should behave a certain way intuitively#and this has been used MANY times to accuse me of being a shitty person for not... knowing exactly how someone wants to be treated#and then being accused fucking constantly of not caring enough because I didn't know??? what someone wanted???#I also was kept on the hook with SEVERAL different people saying “everyone always abandons me =C”#to put me in a position of never settings boundaries with them bc then they would have an extreme fear reaction I was “leaving them”#and I'm talking about like if I tried to tell one of them to please not call me at 1AM every night when I had work the next day#I tried to ask one of my friends if we could spend *slightly* less time together bc we were attached at the hip and he had a MELTDOWN#asked one ex if I could go hang out with friends without her and she called me sobbing in the middle of the hangout to get me to come home#idk maybe this is just a particular trigger for me afjvbsdklfj LMAO but if someone says “everyone abandons me”#I am immediately suspicious that they are expecting too much of their friendships and not communicating and allowing boundaries#LONG RANT SORRY
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i need to get back to staig posting they make me physically unwell
#just saw one of those poetic love tumblr posts on a reel and why did it make me immediately think of staig. as opposed to you know.#a real person perhaps LMAO#damn#missing staig. one day my amrev staig au will be done…one day…#staig#south park#no more toxic yaoi era now i just want yaoi that will make me sob and yearn
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Me on the floor making dial-up internet noises because I might have fixed some of the problems I hated in this chapter, but oh boy I sure created more of them
#one problem being that this chapter is now 11k#it used to be 7k#me @ brain: SIR??? SIR#this is unacceptable sir#sobbing on the deck like why can't i write short things pls#this was supposed to be a simple whumpy fic about a mine shaft WHAT HAPPENED#massive angstfest fic lol#i love how when i manage to get writing again i immediately run into fic problems#on the plus side at least i'm feeling productive again lmao#i am ready to tackle fic problems#let's goooooo#(cut to like a week later where everything is terrible and i will never write again lmaooo)#dice ramblings
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This randomly only came to my mind from a brief conversation with a friend in dms but is there legit ANY mecha where it’s centered around supports? Yes I’m being serious here despite not being huge on sports in both regards of playing them and watching shows about them, but my brain was tickled by this idea. And yes I’m aware of Iron Leaguers existence before any asks-kinda hard not to when I have a handful of moots really into it-but I’m for once strictly talking about self piloted mecha. I need to know if there is something out there that exists where a giant robot fights another robot in a game of soccer only because that mental image is really funny to imagine.
#getter robo#mecha rambles#I tend to not ask if certain shows exists for my own reasons but given how I’m stumped on wtf to watch I’m asking here#even if I doubt I’d get to this immediately unless it had something that really tickled my brain right but it probably go on the watch list#also like I found out there was a fucking cooking mecha so a sports mecha HAS to exist right?#I literally see so many sports jokes or nods be made in mecha#gunbuster having a bat even though it was never in the anime#the fact Ryoma was ORIGINALLY a fucking soccer boy as it wasn’t just a toei thing it was just intended for his character#but Ken didn’t know how to write that so karate boy stayed#(I think more so I- want the getters being sports based bc that be SO FUNNY but I can’t write sports given I don’t care for them rip)#hence why I also wouldn’t make this into a original concept next to “lmao what are those”#I swear though if there’s no sports mecha anime whatsoever I’ll sob
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i decided to try a mod for m1necraft thats called pixelm0n (o not a 0, i just dont want this showing up in tumblr search for that fdsjkl) AND DHGJKL. IMMEDIATELY UPON OPENING IT UP....
I HAD TO PAUSE THE GAME IMMEDIATELY AND GO TAKE A BREATHER BC I WAS SO STARTLED AND FLUSTERED HELP MEEEE im down ATROCIOUS for this man, just seeing him as an NPC in an unrelated game makes me flustered 😭😭😭
#IM SO FSDHGJKL#dandy......... get a hold of urself..... this is EMBARRASSING FSDJKL#unfortunately i do not know where tf he went fdsjkl i lost track of him like Immediately#bc i was too scared to interact w him bc i didnt even know how the game worked yet LMAO#and i didnt want to like. accidentally attack him or smth 😭 SOB.#i spent like ten mins trying to find him once i'd figured out all the controls and . ig he disappeared into the void or smth 😔😔#could not find hide nor hair of the blorbo anywhere.... disappointing fsdjkl#dandyshucks
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last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here
#but.#even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16#i traveled across the country just to see her again#and it fucking sucked#she ripped that wound right back open#which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come#she made all the plans#honestly the train trip there was nice#i got to experience a lot of cool things#but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life#just nonstop#and now ive finally been away for awhile again#but i still miss her#& i dont know why#but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win#maybe it's just my roll#say all these nice things n then immediately flip#she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there#& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO...#like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it#but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe#but anyway. again. i stayed#over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay#n she'd do it again#until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH#she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried#but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done#but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster#even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating.#what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me
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hadestown is so good what the actual fuck oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eurydice's actress had an incredible voice and gah the whole thing was just amazing!!!!! :D
#it ended a few hours ago but i immediately fell asleep lmao#i was in tears by the end fuckjjj still sobbing thinking abt it#also im a hypocrite bc i was thinking to myself how i wld simply not look back#meanwhile whenever im leading a group of ppl on a walk i look back every 5 seconds to make sure theyre still there💀#hadestown
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