#i HAVE gotten a lot better at figuring this stuff out btw

[gothmiqote]

some assorted cutscene varhas & me complaining abt blender under the cut lol :p

the head is a fairly quick & dirty port i did, the struggle to put new teeth in there was 1. fucking unreal 2. probably also not something that was as difficult a i made it out to be

on my list of further things to do are more edits around the mouth area, specifically the upper lip. ofc you can't spot the problem in this shot, but the inner area needs some more volume since it's doing a weird think where it curves noticeably inwards when the mouth opens. probably a fix that'll take a few hours max, half of which will probably be spent testing motion until im happy. there's also a bit of a seam down the middle, but idk if that's enough of a problem for me to deal with lmao. the hair covers up the most visible area, and even that's not too awful in most lighting conditions.

speaking of hair, it does look like my go-to styles for her will need the ear replacements done in blender (blegh). miqo ears are attached to the hair model, so while you Can use pre-7.0 hairs without any movement issues, you won't have the updated ear shape and the textures will probably be a bit off. these ones were just run through the loose texture compiler, no manual editing on my side. i can't tell if i'm liking that or if it could be better? idk I've never painted hair maps before, could be fine or it could be a mess lmao

i haven't even looked at converting the scar texture for her body yet, i probably won't until penumbra is back online tbqh. the new textools is fucking fantastic, but i don't love having to open and close the game every time i want to make a mod change. it also doesn't look like the body shape i use will be getting updated (boo) since the creator has a new version they're working on and i don't like it as much lmao which means it might be up to Me to sort that one out. probably not a big deal except i'm also running the ivcs skeleton version which is fghjsdgjk a whole extra Thing to deal with. i like the extra control it gives me in gpose + some custom animations though so worst case scenario, more blender lessons lmfao. if that's the case i might make the switch to skelomae, depending on which dev kit i find easier to actually parse. i'm wondering if it's worth my time to play around with some body scaling mods, never used them before but im intrigued. also a distinct possibility I'll have to update the skin texture i use for estinien, but i know tbse already has a beta out so i'm not too worried about that. at the end of the day body & face textures are probably the easiest things to mess with. fucking love the person who, within 24 hours of early access, released a mod that gave him his lips back. was worried i might have to port that too but nope, someone beat me to it.

oh god right i also still have to do azem's head port. that one had custom texture uvs, which i'm sure will provide anyone layer of weirdness to whatever process i end up performing on it. i am Not looking forward to putting in another set of nicer teeth lmfao but it's worth it. perhaps it won't be such a shitshow this time around. her eye texture is fucked but I've already seen some updated ancient eyes floating around, so it's whatever.

i am Also not looking forward to going through my penumbra wardrobe to see what works and what doesn't & all i have to say is 10/10 for me for having the foresight to meticulously organize those mods into hyperspecific folders.

also i miss my pose mods gfsdhkghysjd i need to take cute pics in some of those new areas okay.

[cybrasigilism]

Hi!! I’ve been reading a few of your works and I love your writing sm!! I’ve never done a request to a writer before, so I hope I’m not too vague or ambiguous (but I’m thinking what I’m about to ask could be TOO specific 💀), but I wanted to request an NSFW writing of Choi Su-Bong (Thanos) as a sub (and if you can, could you add a thing or two about edging him and/or overstimming him?). Personally, I’d preferably have them written as headcanons BUT whatever works best for you is most important, so I won’t mind whatever you decide to do :)

And if you’re uncomfortable with the request, ofc feel free to ignore! I appreciate it in advance if you do decide to write it, and I do hope you have a lovely day ❤️❤️

you won’t ever catch me turning down a thanos request, not while i live and breathe 😈🙏

TYSM FOR YOUR KIND WORDS BTW!! hopefully i did your vision justice :>

Submissive Headcanons! (Thanos/Choi Su-Bong/Player 230)

warning: smut and all things of the like (if you’re not used to seeing this warning on my page idk what to tell you) | not proofread | lowercase intended | sub!thanos | overstimulation | edging | begging | mommy kink if you squint | these are my headcanons for this character, please be respectful even if my opinions on the character differ from your own

character: thanos/choi su-bong (player 230)

A/N: we as a squid game society need more sub!thanos content, i’m happy to contribute my fair share. idk if this is ooc or not, because honestly i can see this guy being a total switch, but do with that what you will! enjoy :3 (lowkey running out of gifs for these stinkabutts) PS this may not be a read for you if mommy kink stuff makes you uncomfortable! i have many other thanos works that don’t contain that bc i know its not everyone’s cup of tea, i just thought it fit for these specific headcanons

MDNI! 18+ content under the cut, readers discretion is advised

  ———‿‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿‿———

➤ thanos did not strike you as the submissive type, the absolute 180 that his personality made from the public eye to the bedroom was so drastic you could have gotten whiplash

➤ he will for sure be on his knees for you, both literally and figuratively. this man will do anything you ask of him, just as long as it means he gets to please you.

➤ he’s definitely the type to beg. he’ll give you the puppy dog eyes and go the whole nine yards if you agree to let him between your legs

➤ makes the most whorish sounds when you fuck him, especially when you praise him, even if its the smallest thing. even if you say something as simple as “right there, fuck yeah” he’ll be all over that shit, thanking you for letting him please you like that

➤ speaking of his moans, he gets quite high pitched when you guys get into it. i’m not talking anything crazy, just a lot higher than what you could have been expecting.

➤ some of the things you may expect thanos to say while you guys fuck can include:

“oh god, please keep fucking my cock, just like that”

“am i making you feel good, mommy? yeah?”

will straight up just call you mommy through his whimpers and whines if he’s too far gone

➤ goes crazy when you give him hickeys or bite his neck at any point that you can, whether it be before you guys have even stripped, as your jerking him off or while your actively grinding on his dick, he can’t get enough of it

➤ cries during rough sex, no further questions

➤ needs you to be touching him at all points of the sexual journey, loves when you rest your hands on his shoulders/chest as you ride him

➤ likes getting whipped THAT DAMN WIND AGAIN—

➤ goes ballistic when you pull his hair, the slutty sounds really show up then

➤ acts like he doesn’t like being edged, but he’s a sucker for it.

“fuck please…mommy just let me cum, oh fuck”

“i’ll do anything, i just need it so bad, i wan’ it p-lease”

➤ loves when you restrain him, it can be with anything. handcuffs, rope, your own two hands, ANYTHING

➤ choke him when he’s close, better yet, choke him while you edge him.

➤ he will cry when being overstimulated (trust you guys have a safeword set in place for overstimulating, as can be said for any other experimenting)

➤ loves physical touch during aftercare, it doesn’t have to be straight up cuddling, but just you touching/caressing him in any way at all

———‿‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿‿———

thanks so much for reading! as per usual, any advice/constructive criticism on how i can improve my writing is appreciated and requested!

have a fantastic night/day lovelies 💌

tags: @gongyoosgf @kvstjwonnie @pink-apples001 @fiicalapsiholoaga

[cotc-terminal]

Clash of the Cubes - Challenge THREE

While the elevator goes up, the TV switched back on again. Pulse is in the TV, sat on a seat that vaguely looks like a tree.

“Welcome back, viewers and competitors, to the Clash of the Cubes! You lot are nearing the elevator’s destination, hopefully you haven’t gotten sick by then.”

“Anywho, your next challenge will begin shortly, depending on when the elevators sto-“

The elevators suddenly stop with a loud *CLANG*. They open up to show a river infront of them with chopped-down trees floating near the shore.

“There we go. So your next challenge is a boat race! Unfortunately we haven’t found any boats, so I have the next best thing! Trees!”

“It’s as simple as it sounds. First cube on the end wins. Pushing, shoving, horseplay, ramming & hitting are encouraged. You MAY encounter some obstacles, so better dodge em~. Won’t say how the extra points are achieved, so figure that out bt yourself.”

“Oh, and by the way, to spice things up, I’m giving some extra items for use to each of you based on your placement! Use them wisely.”

The flower-like shapes in military outfits appear again, and hand each Cube a box. Inside the box is...

(ps: your item is on your placement, so if you’re first you get the first item listed, for second you get the second, and so on)

A tissue that just says “Goodluck loser”.

Air.

A stick.

A sandwich that has your name on it. It looks punched.

Flippers.

A life jacket.

A card that says what the secret point criteria is. (Will say in DMs)

An actual boat (and by boat i mean a bowl with no oars or motors).

A rocket boost.

A slingshot.

A Blixer Blaster. (Basically a portable O=[] cannon blixer)

A shield that deflects literally anything back to where it came.

(EXTRA STUFF YOU NEED TO KNOW:)

(around halfway through the course, you’re gonna get shit like buzzsaws, swords, axes, spikes, etc. thrown at you by Nulls from the sidelines, so you better dodge lol)

(Oh and due to the nature of this being a race, some of yall might end up drawing other cubes getting passed by (or run over) so heres a drive with ref sheets)

“Good? Good. Now get on your trees…”

The cubes get on the trees. Some grab on, others sit down on it, etc. (how it’s like is up to you btw)

“And be on your marks…. Get set… Go!”

Pulse fires a gun in the sky, and a current in the river starts pushing the trees to the finish line.

@lumhere @shaidai @orchuris @itzhosya @missmaydae @alionanight @dragongirl2k6 @acn97414 @mahoganystudios830 @pricklythepearcat @blockheadblog @nacora-najita

[creetchure]

maybe kind of a hot take but like. you guys have GOT to become normal about addicts right now. both in real life and in fiction by the way.

if you can read about the effects of kidnapping/dehumanisation/medical abuse/what have you for your whump fic, you can damn right read some first person accounts of addicts talking about their shit online and do the bare minimum of research into the topic. you guys are way too comfortable going around slinging words and using this shit for angst points, in a way that i really don't see much with any other topic. i don't know, maybe i don't read the right kind of fic in the right kind of fandom, but it really feels like you guys take withdrawal, maybe a little bit of the original hurt, and that's it. if you're gonna mention it off handedly once in what you're writing, fine. but you can't make it the center of your fic without a modicum of research, and a modicum of respect for the real people going through it.

contrary to what seems to be popular belief, most addicts don't just do drugs for shits and giggles and there's a difference between recreational drug use and addiction. a wild fucking difference. smoking a couple of joints of popping a couple of party pills for fun is not the same. you guys know that right?

anyway, if you're gonna write about addiction. at least. at least bother looking at the most common side effects of an addiction, yeah? just for you, i'll write some down here (disclaimer, this is written in one go, is not in the least comprehensive, and doesn't account for the variety of the human experience) (this isn't a guide):

financial jeaopardy: drugs are expensive. sometimes you'll pick drugs over food. sometimes youll pick drugs over shelter.

your social life might take a blow, even if people don't notice you have an addiction. you might blow off plans to get high, might isolate yourself either out of shame or out of annoyance.

your physical health takes a toll regardless of the drugs effect on the body. chances are your sleeping and eating habits will take a blow

this one seems obvious, but there's a real dependence. not just physically either, but an emotional one as well. especially when taken from a place of mental unrest, drugs become an emotional crutch. getting sober is dealing with more than physical symptoms i can't stress this enough

there's also financial stress. will you be able to pay for your next dose? how about the one that comes after that? what will you even do if you can't pay? etcetc. this comes with financial jeopardy, but it's not the same, there's a very real fear that can lead people to do many things in order to assage it.

this is not necessarily something that goes away as soon as you get sober either btw. you might carry that fear, even subconsiouly, in the "what if i need a dose some day" folder of your brain for a long while

a lot of people don't quit cold turkey, or don't quit entirely. often just going off the stuff isn't an option, whether that be because physical symptoms are too bad and dangerous or because it would do too much psychological harm. going from hard drugs to smoking a pack a day is a huge win.

even when sober some shit might trigger you. shoutout to people who've gotten sober once and never relapsed but that's not everyone. depending on why you got addicted in the first place, it'll happen more or less often, and people will be able to cope with trigger better or worse, but a relapse is not the end of the line. at all.

there's a lot of other shit i can't think of at the top of my head. there's some stuff about how friends and families might react that i don't feel like talking about. there's shit about the recovery process that you can look at yourself. but please for the love of god. go look at it.

one last thing. you can't treat all substances the same. the effects on the body and mind aren't the same. you have to figure out what your character's substance of choice is and stick with it. figure out how expensive it is, figure out how safe it is, etc etc. you can't make someone who does acid be the same as someone who takes laughing gaz. not the same substance. and also don't forget that there are MANY things one might take for a high that don't even register in your mind (paint. glue. certain brands of cough syrup. etc.)

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

hey! do you have any tips for running more? i have a love-hate relationship with it

YES!

I used to DESPISE running SO HARD. I've been running for seven years now, off and on (a LOT more off than on lol), but its only been in the last ten months that I really and truly have fallen in love with it!

Number one tip is to get a running app, really and truly! They're great for getting training plans to run to, holding you accountable, and tracking your progress! Seriously, it is SO AWESOME to get to see your stats improve over time, its so rewarding and wonderful! I've never personally used it, but my mom uses Nike Run Club, which she highly reccomends, so if you're looking for a simple, streamlined one to start with, go take a look at that!

btw have you heard of this special one called Zombies, Run!? Its a running app that is also an immersive audio drama that makes you feel like the main character in a video game and has singlehandedly gotten me from despising running to loving it- Oh, you have? okay then.... i mean,,,, if youre interested,,, i have an entire sideblog for it,,,, you could send me some asks about it,,,, i'd love to comply...

But seriously ZR has changed my life, I'm being totally serious here. I could elaborate if you'd like, but long story short, I am in the best physical and mental shape of my life bc of this silly zombie app with blorbos in it, so yeah, never gonna stop talking about it lol.

But the reason why that works, is that it makes running fun! Because lets all be honest, running for more than three minutes on a treadmill with no stimulation at all and nothing to think about besides the fact that you're running and that sucks is the WORST. And doing it outside is better because you're actually going somewhere and see things, but its still monotonus and then you're just lasered in on the 'running is horrible' part after a bit longer.

ZR is utterly brilliant because you are physically incapable of being bored while playing it lol. You're not running a mile away from your house then a mile back, you're charging through the streets of an abandonded city, holding a life-saving cure, your best friend in your headset imploring you to keep going as zombies approach, while having the survival of your fellow runner depend on you as they limp from their injury. It is THRILLING and takes your mind off of what you are doing.

BUT MOVING AWAY FROM ZR NOW FINALLY (sorry i really am obsessed)--

It works because you aren't thinking about running. So that's the cheat code, figure out how to run without thinking about what your body is doing and how it feels icky sometimes. You've gotta learn to be very motivated but then also INCREIDIBLY disciplined in order to stick to it. Find some music that makes you feel like you're in a superhero movie (I have some recs if you'd like!!), find a podcast that is super interesting on a topic that you adore, even go running with friends and talk to them about fandom stuff while running!

Find tools to take your mind off of it that works most of the time, and the in the small fraction of the time where you still don't want to do it, learn the discipline to follow through anyway.

But also, I've found that the main reason running stinks, at least at first, is your body isn't used to it. Really! Whether you haven't worked out in your entire life ever, or if you are considered one of the fittest people on the planet in like swimming or something, running is SUPER hard and super terrible at first because you aren't used to it! Even if you are super fit and healthy, the hard cardio and movement that running requires is just very different from everything else! So anyone getting into running ever should NEVER feel bad about themselves when they're just starting! Because it is a seperate and unique thing in its own category that is special and different! It is scientifically proven that it takes 6-10 weeks of running 10-20 miles a week before your body adjusts and then you're used to it.

But guess what? One day, you're going to be running, and suddenly realize that it is magic. You'll realize that you don't have to stop to walk when you usually do- you can go longer than you have before. You'll realize that wait, you can go faster now! Your pace is faster! And then you'll feel a rush of adrenaline and endorphins and oh! THIS is what they mean when they say runners high! You understand why its called is the healthiest addicting drug in the world now! You'll realize that you have a huge smile breaking out on your face and the scenery is gorgeous, even if its in a dark smelly gym, because you're doing it- you're running! And you love it.

Anyone reading this, please give running a good, earnest shot. Lace up your shoes three or four days a week and go jog two or three miles. Keep at it for two months. It'll be a hard two months. But it'll be so so worth it. Just try. What have you got to lose?

Running is magic, and now I'll never give it up.

[astro-lmk-enjoyer]

Mine if I info dump about the start/lore of an au I made 4 hours ago?

Good, anyway…

Let’s start with the uncertainties, it might be cannon up until s5? Not sure. And I don’t have a name for it yet, so far I’ve got:

As for what happens:

After a while of MK obsessing over Red Son he decides that if Red Son wasn’t noticing his obvious (seriously obvious, like even Wukong noticed) hints then he would MAKE Red Son need him. He cursed/poisoned Red Son’s tea that day. After drinking their tea’s MK, Red Son and Mei went to the anti-gravity arcade for some fun. Red Son began to feel woozy, Mei and Red Son thought it was because he had never done anti-gravity or super energetic stuff before but we all know the real reason why. :)

But in the morning it had only gotten worse and now Red Son had a bad fever and a cough. When Princess Iron Fan (PIF) finally figured out how to use Red Son’s phone, she called Mei demanding to know every detail of what they had done the previous night to find out who had gotten Red sick and to obliterate them.

After a thorough investigation they found out no one who had been in the anti-gravity arcade in the past 48 hrs had been sick, so how did he get sick?

So you know how earlier I said that the tea was ‘cursed/poisoned’ well the longer Red Son is away from MK the more sick he will get… until he dies.

A few days later MK and Mei go to visit Red Son and he’s REALLY not doing good… he is super tired, drowsy and drained and is sick a lot but after a couple hours with MK and Mei he starts to feel better. Which Red Son’s parents take as a good sign and kick MK and Mei out so Red Son can recover properly without interference, which props Red Son to start getting worse again. PIF and Demon Bull King (DBK) notice this and conduct their own little experiment over the next month. Having Mei and MK round at their house separately or having one of them distracted out side the room to see how far each of them can go from Red Son before he starts to get worse.

(btw MK has the antidote in a glass vile in a necklace that he always wears under his shirt :3)

They figure out that something to do with MK is keeping Red Son well and stoping him from getting more sick. They keep MK there for a bit longer until it’s night and Mei had already gone home, and MK says the night at the Demon Bull family’s home, though he is guarded all night by bull clones so he can’t try anything to do with taking advantage of Red Son’s weakened state.

The only other bit I have is that once Red Son is better he basically go’s where ever MK go’s and sleeps in his apartment, he also start to get more comfortable with MK and is a little clingy, which is what MK wanted to happen, now Red Son can’t even leave his side >:3

Look at what I’ve made world >:)

Song inspiration ⬇️

= disease by Lady Gaga

[blushblushbear]

Can you do general Scale headcanons pls?

if Batman existed in his universe, he would probably be a Robin

is actually a tea guy, but he's not snobby about it

had a very weird childhood

was adopted into an assassin order at a young age and never looked back

lived in different parts of Asia for a while

really likes the life he ended up in, but he does sometimes wish he could've just been a regular guy

is actually working towards being just a regular person who does regular things (like bowling)

this is not fully because of you but he'd be lying if he said meeting you didn't give him a new lease on life

he kinda wants to start a new chapter of it all ya know??

a chapter specifically with you in it

likes floral and herbal flavors

is 50/50 on mint though

has a high tolerance for spice that he trained to have

also a high tolerance for poisons but same thing

can speak a little bit of a few other languages, but he's not fully fluent in them

doesn't actually watch a lot of anime, but is very interested in doing so if you're down

doesn't own too many clothes that are not either assassin uniforms or disguises

he's not gonna ask you to take him shopping for new clothes, but if you offered...

this is totally a big huge secret that is not a secret at all but he's kinda wrapped around your finger

has insecurities about his masculinity

(I'm not saying trans, but I am heavily implying it and would be down if it was ever made canon)

knew magic existed before meeting you but had never experienced it first hand

misses being a dragon sometimes

loves eating fruits and veggies as a snack

(this is gonna age me greatly, BUT DO Y'ALL REMEMBER OG Japanese Iron Chef where the chairman would take a bite of a raw bell pepper in the intro??? yeah, that's Scale unironically)

ya know what, fuck it, he watched og iron chef

I feel like Japanese, Chinese, and Spanish are the main 3 languages he's the most comfortable with (also a little bit of french but his pronunciation is ASS)

was a vegetarian briefly as a teen

still trying to figure out who he is past his assassin identity/persona

always trying to push himself to be better in some aspect of himself-- usually in the past it was physical and mental, but now he's also leaning more towards mental/emotional

he tries to always find peace within himself

mostly cause he was the only constant throughout his life

also danger

but also in his line of work you can't trust anyone (not even yourself lol meme)

hasn't listened to a lot of music, but the main things he knows are classical/traditional music and pop

is not a kpop stan, but he does love him some kpop

also jrock but like--- old school jrock

early 2000's jrock

also oldies pop (looking at your Brittney, we're old now... *sigh* hit me baby one more time...)

has gotten drunk before, but only to test his limits

he thinks he's a very smooth drunk

he is not

alcohol is actually the one thing he doesn't have a high tolerance for

but he genuinely thinks that he does

(not that he gets a lot of times he can show it-- you 19 y/o CHILD)

is really really into cuddling and being held actually

also really into just chill lazy days at home with you

just chilling together in pjs, sharing a blanket, catching up on shows, ordering Chinese--- good stuff

kind of wants a cat or dog, but semi-retried assassins can't afford just an adorable target (see: John Wick)

does want to retire someday

also maybe wants kids

he's not sure yet

about a lot of things actually

he's a pretty dangerous guy living a pretty dangerous life and just cause he quits it doesn't mean it quits him ya know???

he will 10000000000% go John Wick or Liam Neeson on someone's ass if they mess with his family, but he'd prefer his loved ones not be in danger in the first place

btw you're the first person he's truly gotten close to who was not also a fellow assassin

also he totally considers you family by this point

only knows a handful of memes, but is actually very memely minded

has only scene the first star wars movies, has not seen the prequels, but if he did, he'd love them

actually does play video games a bit but is not always up to date with what's the newest thing in the gaming world (he's a busy guy, but also hand helds can travel well so)

actually still gets butterflies and heart flutters when you kiss him

likes to try and charm you/make you swoon and honestly I can't ever see that stopping

he WILL get taller, but only a little

can last 2 or 3 full days without food water or sleep (though he's a total and utter mess by the end of it and needs a day to recoup)

has tried to read Jane Austen at least 5 different times but can't get past how they talk...

has a lot of pictures of you, some of which he took without you knowing

you are his phone bg and he looks at pictures of you often whenever he hasn't seen you in a while (and a while can be from a full day to a few hours)

is worried he's putting you in danger...

if anything ever happened to you cause of him he'd probably have a full on melt down

gets vaguely annoyed every now and then, gets well and truly angry almost NEVER

is actually very chill

also very blunt sometimes-- dude is mostly a realist honestly (crazy cape and daggers not withstanding)

owns SO MANY knives, daggers and swords

some of which are cursed!

has given you daggers/knives/swords/etc as a gift

low key is thinking of proposing with one, but he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it

loves a good fantasy novel

travels A LOT, and is actually really good on a plane

somehow manages to always have his phone charged

has taken on fewer assassin jobs lately, mostly cause he's preoccupied with you <3

wants to go on every cliche date with you under the sun

ice cream, movies, dinner, bowling, skating, ice skating, moonlit walks on the beach, trips to wild new places, dancing, flirty sword fights

has imagined many a romantasy scenario with you and himself-- enemies to lovers, bodyguard and royalty, rival assassins, target and assassin who falls in love with the target-- wait that last one is just real life

doesn't always tell you that he loves you, but does it more than you'd think and when he does he makes sure you know he means it

has threatened someone over you (say another word and you'll end up swallowing a knife, asshole)

looping back to the cat, will probably end up adopting a random street cat that he picked up on one of his missions cause it was small and alone and it's big eyes reminded him of you and he just couldn't leave it all by itself out there in the big scary world-- no, it had to come home to meet you

[puckpocketed]

i wasn’t even joking about the thomas speer princess treatment btw. btw. i know the sharks have a Reputation for goalie breaking but to give you all some counter propaganda… he did good work with kahkonen and blackwood and i expect given the chance he’ll do the same for georgiev

Published October 17 2023, How a coach’s visit in Toronto helped Mackenzie Blackwood get comfortable with the San Jose Sharks - by Curtis Pashelka (link)

SAN JOSE – Mackenzie Blackwood was about a week away from leaving Toronto and heading to the Bay Area last month for the start of training camp when he got a visit from San Jose Sharks goalie coach Thomas Speer.

The two had previously only talked on the phone, and that was after Blackwood had been acquired by the Sharks last June and subsequently signed to a two-year contract extension. So Speer’s visit gave the two a chance to get to know each other a bit better and get on the same page prior to camp.

It was also a personal gesture that Blackwood appreciated.

“That shows a lot,” Blackwood said Monday. “To come and spend some time and go out of your way to come work with me. Yeah, I was appreciative.”

Speer, now in his second season with the Sharks, is tasked with helping the team solve its goaltending woes after years of being well below average. The Sharks haven’t had a team save percentage over .901 since the 2017-2018 season and last year, that number sunk to an NHL low of .881.

So far, the Sharks are off to a better start, with Blackwood stopping 51 of 52 shots in the Sharks’ 2-1 shootout loss to the Colorado Avalanche on Saturday. After the game, Blackwood was quick to credit his teammates for keeping most shot attempts to the perimeter, but also Speer for the work they’ve done together over the last several weeks.

“He’s been good. Lots of help for me, working on keeping my game tight, not overplaying stuff, and keeping my feet underneath me a little bit more,” Blackwood said. “If you get stuck, re-adjust, and keep moving. Staying square. So just a lot of little stuff that we’ve kind of chipped away at, but it all adds up to something big.”

Not surprisingly, Blackwood will get the start again on Tuesday when the Sharks face Brent Burns and the Carolina Hurricanes at SAP Center. But with the way the Sharks’ schedule unfolds this month, with seven games over the next 13 days, both Blackwood and Kaapo Kahkonen figure to get a fair amount of work.

Speer worked with Kahkonen last season, helping to change his game and improve his confidence. Kahkonen had a .895 save percentage in his final 18 games last season compared to a .869 mark over the first 19 games.

Kahkonen played well in the preseason and aside from one goal late in the second period, Quinn felt the Finnish-born netminder had a positive outing in the Sharks’ 4-1 loss to the Vegas Golden Knights last Thursday.

“The one thing about (Speer), he cares so much about the guys he coaches,” Quinn said. “Great tactician, but he has the ability to connect with the people he’s coaching and that’s what makes him a great coach.

“He doesn’t coach everybody the same. He knows every guy’s a little bit different. … But the connection he creates with his goalies is pretty special.”

Quinn said that after Saturday’s game, no one was happier for Blackwood than Kahkonen.

“Big hug, big smile,” Quinn said. “To me, you can’t win (on the ice) until you win in (the locker room). We think we got two guys that could do that, which would make it difficult for the coach. But those are great problems to have.”

Certainly, that’s where the Sharks want to get to under Speer. who is in his 11th year as a goalie coach, working with both amateurs and professionals at a variety of levels. Before he came to the Sharks, Speer spent three seasons with the Stockton Heat, the former AHL affiliate of the Calgary Flames.

“I’ve had coaches that I’ve gotten along with, but it’s nice to have a guy here that you get to spend every day with that knows the game, knows my game, and knows what I need to do. Very detailed,” Blackwood said. “And you get to know him, he’s a great guy. So far, everything has been great.”

[astral-skyes]

to forget, you need to understand

a/n- this one is pretty long and dialogue heavy but I need to flesh out annabeth and piper’s dynamic. Also I need help. Cuz I don’t wanna use friends to lovers two times so what trope should I use for Pipabeth help

chapter 3

masterlist

Piper

Piper was guilty as heck. Her being the daughter of the goddess of love should’ve made her good at breakups. But she messed it up. Not wanting to use charmspeak on Jason, she winged it and didn’t even get to tell him the most important part. Piper checked her phone again, before getting out of bed and making breakfast.

She had sent a few texts to Jason apologising but she hadn’t gotten a word back. She had also sent a few texts to Leo, he hadn’t answered too.

Sitting down with the fried egg she made, she texted the only person that could make her feel better right now.

‘Hey Annabeth! Wanna meet up? Grab coffee maybe?’

A few minutes passed by and Piper’s phone buzzed.

‘Hey Piper! Yeah, I’m up for it. Where should we meet though. I’m checking out a new school in LA btw’

‘Good! I live there lol. I have a really nice coffee shop I like thats close too. The address is *********.’

‘K, that’s gonna take me like 30 mins to get there. I’ll leave now. See u there?’

‘Yea! I’ll be there’

Piper smiled. She needed someone to talk to about the breakup, and who better than Annabeth? She was one of Piper’s best friends and a person that Piper had gone through a lot with. Putting that aside, she put on a pair of baggy jeans, a white shirt and a dark green jumper she had decorated with lots of different patches.

She left the house and in her excitement, didn’t notice a text from Leo: ‘Hey Beauty Queen. Dw, everything’s ok, Jason’s w me and he’s safe. Calm down lol’

~~time skip~~

Piper arrived at the cafe and Annabeth was already sitting at a table in the corner. The blonde waved to Piper.

“Hey Piper! I haven’t seen you in a little while”

“Same! How has life been?”

“Eh, it’s kinda boring. Ever since the Giant War I’ve just been at camp and school. It’s dull” Annabeth said dejectedly, swirling her coffee.

“Damn. I mean I had a wild day yesterday”

“What happened?”

“For one, I broke up with Jason”

“What? Why? What did he do?” Piper noticed Annabeth said that last sentence as if she was going to make Jason pay for what he ‘did’.

“He didn’t do anything, don’t worry. It’s me. I’ve had a hard time trying to say this, and I didn’t even tell him yesterday but I don’t think I like guys at all”

“Oh. Well congratulations. One for figuring it out and two for being brave enough to tell someone”

“Thanks. Only you and Leo know. I know I need to tell Jason but I’m scared.”

“Hey” At this Annabeth took Piper’s hands in hers. Piper blushed. “You have done harder things than coming out to your best friend. He cares for you, that will never change.”

“Yeah, thanks” Piper said, still blushing.

“I’ve finished my coffee, wanna pay and leave”To Piper’s relief, Annabeth changed the topic.

“Yeah sure. I’ll pay.” Piper said and took out her card.

“Nu-uh. I’m paying.” Annabeth took her card out too and pushed Piper’s away.

“No.” said Piper simply. She called over a waiter who took her card and scanned it.

“I will get you back” Annabeth joked and stood up. Piper stood up after her and they left.

“Anything else new in your life? Maybe something positive?” Annabeth chuckled.

“Yeah actually” Piper said. “I’ve been learning how to draw.”

“Really? Can you show me some drawings?” Annabeth said inquisitively.

“Oh… sure.” Piper took out a small book filled with sketches of houses and people and furniture.

“Whoah!” Annabeth exclaimed, startling Piper. “These are amazing. The only sketches I can do are ones for blueprints and stuff.” Annabeth then started looking through all the sketches. “I can’t believe how lifelike these look, these are amazing!” The blonde lifted her head up to find it was inches away from Piper’s. She pulled away quickly and turned red. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine” Piper felt herself blush too. “I didn’t think they were that good though”

“They’re amazing. Hey, do you mind sketching me?” The blonde had a hint of shyness in her voice.

“Sure! You’re just gonna have to sit relatively still for a few minutes” Piper said excitedly, opening up her notebook to a blank page.

Piper took out a pencil from her bag and began sketching.

After around 3 minutes, Piper sat up and put her pencil away. “Okay, I’m done! What do you think?” Piper showed Annabeth her sketch.

“It’s amazing! I look better here than I do in real life” Annabeth said, smiling.

“Come on, you look amazing in real life too.” Piper answered and Annabeth blushed, then her eyes widened. “Thanks. Wait, do you wanna get ice cream?”

“Yes”

“Alright, what flavour?”

“Choc chip”

“Same! Alright, I’ll go get it” Annabeth stood up and went towards the ice cream van. She bought the ice cream and returned.

“Wanna start going back?” Annabeth asked and handed one cone to Piper.

“Sure” Piper stood up and both walked back to the coffee shop.

“Okay, well this was so fun. We should do this again.” Piper said.

“Yeah, I’m probably going to move here for school. The one I visited was really good.”

“That’s amazing! Well then we should definitely see each other again” Piper said excitedly

“Yeah. Sun’s going down so we should go.”

“Yeah. I’ll text you”

“Not if I do it first!” Annabeth laughed and waved to Piper as she left.

Piper waved back and started moving back to her house.

~~another time skip~~

At her house, Piper was bored again. Annabeth had taken her mind off of her breakup. She sat on her balcony and checked her phone. She’d missed the text from Leo earlier so she answered: ‘Hey Leo, thanks for telling me. How is Jason taking the breakup? I handled it so badly I can’t’

‘Girl it’s not as bad as u think. He’s fine, he told me everything. U should talk to him tho.’

‘Bro ik. I wanna give him a bit of time alone from me.’

‘Sure, we’re alone in the countryside on Festus’

‘Ooohhh so romantic!’

‘Why does everyone say that?? I’m not in love with him’

‘Or are you??’

‘I’m not!’

‘Sure…’ with this, Piper was left on read. Annabeth was all Piper could think about after. She would soon live here and Piper saw a real future where they were really close friends, or maybe more.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks January 28th

angel anon, always about me anon (new), spoon anon, pg anon (tw-cancer), up to date anon (new), Twilight anon (new), galaxy anon

Angel Anon

Hi cas, angel anon here

Little smth else I also wanted to tell you

Two things actually:

I asked my mother if she's ever gotten me iq tested when I was like 9 (because ppl started asking me around thta time) and she said oh yeah e got all three of you guys tested (me and my two triple brothers) and said that we were all above average ans that just as an answer was so vague and ugh that I didn't believe it, at all. Either, she hasn't has any of use tested because I don't remember anything like it, or she had us all tested but we had varying results (because I know and my brothers know that I am objectively better than them at a lot of academic and other stuff) and my mother wanted to hide it from us because she doesn't want us to compare ourselves to each other

She keeps lying to my brothers and I hate it. So I'm applying to a school, it's a pretty special school like it's a different concept and it's harder and more specialized and it's amazing but you gotta be pretty damn good at working by yourself and just like school to be good there, and she told my brothers that they both could've applied there too and she keeps telling them they could do the stuff I do and go where I go when WE ALL KNOW THEY COULDNT. And THEY KNOW. and shes just trying to make them feel better like she has been all out lives but it's getting fucking annoying. Like they've accepted that I'm better at school than them, they've accepted that I'm highly intelligent, they've accepted that a lot of shit is just fucking easy for me and hard for them,, WHY CANT SHE.

and like I get it it's a hard position to be in as a parent but I'm sick of her doing the exact thing she always tries to stop us from doing, which is compare us to each other. By telling them they could do what I do she's telling them that they should be more like me and while I do agree THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. It's jsut how ppl work. But she's got it in her head that if my brothers notice that theres differences between us they'll like themselves less

Whcih btw, not true. My younger brother has himself figured out and he's cool and we get along very well, my older brother... well he's a lot slower than btoh me and my brother but he's a very nice guy and he's jszt gotta figure out what he wants in life, I'm just sick of my mother pretending we have the same abilities. We don't, that's what being human is.

Anyways theres a lot more where this came from because this is like the one primary issue I have w my mother always have had, so you'll probably hear some more about it

Hi <3

Yeah honestly I think a lot of parents struggle with this- like how to treat different siblings and celebrate all of their strengths and weaknesses. And also like...knowing that just because one is successful by THEIR standards, doesn't mean the others can;t be successful in other ways. My parents are awful at this too. I'm glad you at least seem to support your brothers <3

_____________________

Always About Me Anon

"trust me i know it's always about me"

no because it's actually never about me. nothing changes because of me and in a way that's worse because i can't even hold myself responsible when shit goes down. my best friend ignored me and completely shut me out for a week because of something that had nothing to do with me. the first girl i ever liked didn't even really react when she found out from someone else that i liked her because she was used to people liking her. the second girl acted like she liked me like something could happen then switched up so fast but it couldn't have been because of me because the way i behaved didn't change. one of my other bsfs spends very little time with me, not because we aren't close but because there are other, better people in her life and they're more interesting than me and she's a free spirit who you can't tie down.

Hi <3 I'm so sorry, it's an absolutely awful feeling to feel like you're not the first chose or the first person thought about. You deserve to feel loved and prioritized.

______________

Spoon Anon

hi cas it's spoon anon

i can't really go to a doctor without my parents and i obviously don't want them to know about this. i need specific circumstances to study like i need music and i hate sitting at my desk because it feels too clinical and weird and offputting and i study better at night but my parents keep asking me to do the exact opposite because it used to work for them except it doesn't for me so i can't get by using their methods and if they can't understand this then how can i tell them about the fact that i might be neurodivergent.

Hi!

Have you tried asking them to maybe like...watch how it works for you? Like invite them to hang out with you while you study sometime and show them that you really are focused at night? Or maybe if you can find research that shows studying at night can be better for some people...I'm just thinking of ways to get them to believe you, since just trying to talk to them isn't working.

____________________

PG Anon

Hi Cas, it's PG anon

You haven't heard from me in a little while I don't think... But life got better. And now is, well, kinda shit?

I'm not really sure what tw to put here but there probs are some..

Anyway. A small update on P and G. I haven't heard from G at all recently, I am worried, but only slightly, there isnt really anything I can do to be honest. P? Uh. I'm not sure? Like we are still friends, and P hasn't really noticed the shift in friendship, but I'm more focused on some of my other friends and try to spend more time with them.

So I was kinda happy for a bit. I guess. There was some other stuff, but it's no-ones fault it's just locations and miscommunication etc. Which is sucky but couldn't be helped.

And now for where life's a bit shit

My friend has cancer. I've known this person for literally years, and we've always been there you know?

They got diagnosed with cancer like week before Christmas, had surgery around new years to get out the tumor. It's worse then originally thought and I just.... I'm stressed, and worried and probably should talk to an adult(I have) , but at the same time, I'm fine?

Like I feel nothing or normal. Not upset not angry just normal like 98% of the time. Like I don't feel crappy, and it honestly doesn't affect me

And then there's this 2% where I feel like crying a breaking down, but Iiterally don't know why because I look at this and I'm like this ain't causing this. I wonder if it's overwhelm, probs is. I haven't cried in over a year, which isn't good ig but I want to as a release.

I don't.... Really know what I want from you. Sorry. If like any advice you have or anything you want to say I'm all ears

Ugh

Life. Love it, but it does suck sometimes

Thank you for listening to my little rant

-PG anon

Hi <3

First of all, I am so sorry about your friend's diagnosis. Honestly, I think your reaction is understandable. This is a super scary, hard-to-process thing, and I would be shocked if you handled it with complete grace.

Honestly, I think you need a way to process this. Whether it be talking to an adult, talking to a friend, venting in my inbox, writing or drawing about it, SOMETHING. This is a big thing and you need to not keep it all inside, you know?

I'm sending you love <3

______________________

Up to Date anon

hi cas. since trump has been elected ive been trying really hard to consistently keep up to date and educate myself on things in unclear but it's really discouraging me. ive always been bad at self study, i cant sit and focus on things long enough to even gather the information let alone retain it. because of this i always feel extremely uneducated and misinformed because of all the bullshit that gets posted online tnat nobody fact checks. i keep running into things that i feel like everyone knows about but im just hearing it for the first time completely clueless. how am i supposed to educate on things i don't even know exist? i feel so out of touch but im really struggling with figuring out how learn on my own and relearn everything that was taught to me incorrectly. im so afraid of falling for traps or becoming complacent because im simply just not educated enough to understand everything that's happening around us

Hi! <3

I think this is a super valid way of reacting to everything, and a LOT of people are feeling this way. I struggled a lot with this during lockdown, and it took a lot of therapy to work through it. The solution that works for me is to limit myself to 2-3 news sources that I know are reliable and not full of fear tactics. I check those once a day, and then I move on. If people come to me with other things, and it hasn't come to my news source, I have to question if maybe their sources are valid.

I'm very much NOT educated on picking news sources, but UnderTheDeskNews on TikTok has been super helpful for me.

Remember to be kind to yourself <3

_______________________________

Twilight Anon

Confession time!

I just need to tell someone.

I watched Twilight for the first time and by god, I will never laugh at another movie more. Me and my sister were trying so hard to be normal but it was hard. When Edward stepped into the sun for the first time, we called him a human disco ball, a shiny Pokémon and a bunch of wild shit. We even started singing a small portion, the portion shown in the show, of Disco Girl from Gravity Falls. It goes somewhere along the lines of

Disco girl

Coming through

That girl is you

And 2 girls singing that off-key while pointing at a vampire is kinda funny at 2am.

All in all, won't watch it again unless I can make fun of it

Hahahahaha please watch the rest of them, it just gets worse

______________________

Galaxy Anon

Hi, Cas! Galaxy anon here.

I really appreciate your advice and I'll keep you updated when I finally talk to someone (I hate confrontation, so that could be a while).

I was also just really curious how you manage to keep up with what all of your anons ask you and how you remember their names? Like, do you have a notebook dedicated to writing down what everyone's spoken to you about? Because I know that I definitely would've forgotten haha.

Anyway, have a nice day! I'll keep you posted!

Yes please keep me posted!!

And I have a spreadsheet lol, or I would NEVER be able to keep everyone straight

[flieslikeamoron]

I've seen some of the "fic comments are communication/community not payment" discussion, which I totally agree with. And I was just thinking about the move away from LJ. Many people on here are probably too young to remember, but when AO3 was first built there was actually discourse about whether writers should respond to comments there. Because it would "pad your stats" if you did by inflating your comment count. So I do feel like there's something to the fact that on LJ the fics were being posted in the place that was for conversation and community. You were using the same comment section that you use to talk to people about their meta or their daily life or their photo dump to talk to them about the fic they just posted. And AO3, even though it has a threaded comment section like LJ did, is not fundamentally a conversation space like LJ was. 

Anyway, there are definitely advantages to fic being posted on AO3. I mean outside the not being in danger of censorship stuff. It's way easier to read fics there and I love that I can download stuff to my Kindle and it's easier to find fic. (The fact that fics were harder to find is why we had LJ fic communities and a more robust rec list culture back then btw which again is part of community building, but I digress...) In pretty much all ways AO3 is better for the reader. And it's very good for writers too, but maybe not in aaalll the ways.

And I'm not saying all I got on LJ were huge chatty comments or that I got tons and tons of comments, because I do write a lot of fandom of one stuff that no one wants. And I have gotten amaaazing comments on AO3 that were absolutely the "same hat" I get you and what you were doing with this story comments. But I do feel like there's a difference when you're interacting in an archive instead of a community space. So yeah, maybe in the absence of a platform like LJ or dreamwidth that's built for conversation and community, we have to try harder to really connect with each other. But hey, people were connecting through fandom when all they had were basically conventions and snail mail. We can figure out how to talk to each other on this enshittified broken Internet, surely.

[crossingbounds-au]

Poll Results/Mini Announcement

So, after the poll results from a few days ago, it's a yes!!! If you guys are curious on any possible headcanons, character scenarios, character interactions and dynamics, and more on the Crossing Bounds versions of characters. Please send some in the ask box X3!!! Also, maybe when you guys get a better idea of these versions of the characters (even if they ain't entirely far off), then feel free telling me your headcanons cause I wanna hear them. Or hell, give some assumptions you have already based on their canon counterparts and what I've said in stuff like streams. I'd love to debunk or confirm them to y'all!!! Here's a list of characters you can request for!!! And yes, I will do my own posts of such just cause to, I just also wanna engage with y'all. These are a lot of the main ones, you could def ask for some others y'all could ask for, but these are the main ones!!!

Mario

Mario

Luigi

Princess Peach

Princess Daisy

Mlp (as well as my sona lol)

Applejack

Fluttershy

Pinkie Pie

Rarity

Rainbow Dash

Twilight Sparkle

Spike

Itzel/Captain Asterisco Glow

Sonic (please note this isn't entirely figured out since I'm still writing eps 1 and 2 so I'm still working out what Sonic characters to include in the prologue at least)

Sonic

Tails

Knuckles

Amy

Shadow

Rouge

Steven Universe (yes, Steven is the only one there, there's lore reasons for this)

Steven

Fnaf

Freddy

Bonnie

Chica

Foxy

Bendy (Batim/Batdr)

Bendy

Boris

Alice

Audrey

Henry

Cuphead

Cuphead

Mugman

Amphibia (again, there's lore reasons for this)

Anne

Mr. Boonchuy

Mrs. Boonchuy

The Owl House

Luz

Amity

Willow

Gus

Hunter

Camila

Eda

Raine

Undertale

Sans

Papyrus

Frisk

Toriel

The Hollows

Twoton

Egdar

Ra

Aarkadian

Samus

I also do wanna preface this btw, I did get permission from @pshattuck (sorry for the tag Paula, didn't know if I should or not, but I did anyways) to use The Hollows characters, even if the story hasn't gotten anything posted yet aside from small teaser art from Paula. As well, even if I am affiliated with Paula as well as Kyzer as a mutuals in majority of my socials and have talked to them privately multiple times. This project is purely a fan made crossover AU for fun that I love. They have no actual affiliation with the project nor do I actually have any major insight into the comic. So please understand this. Anyways, that's all from me, everyone, happy asking :3!!!

-Itzel aka Kawaiipony Productions

[milekael]

TEEHEE tagged by @rizaposting to do this >:3c

are you named after anyone?

I named myself 😎 The name Miles came from Miles Edgeworth LOL Me and an (ex)friend really liked Ace Attorney and the joke is that I was Miles and they were Franziska, and because at that point I was looking for a name it worked nicely!

However with time I really didn't want my name super directly attached to anyone, thats when I figured Mikael out as like "A longer version of Miles" and to be my name name SDFGHJ

I still use Miles a lot and like Ace Attorney btw! if anything, lately I been using Miles online more than my name for the sake of not putting my full name on the interwebs lol

when was the last time you cried?

Help 0 idea. I used to cry a lot as a kid and now for some reason is really hard for me to do it dfghj not even as some kind of psychological hang-up or anything I just can't really do it.

do you have kids?

Noup

do you use sarcasm a lot?

Kinda? Normally just with people I am close to because if its with anyone else I worry it might be misunderstood.

what sports do you play?

I don't play sports but I do really like doing physical work! I used to do a lot of construction work like building frames when I was at college.

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

A weird way to say it but I like to see people's "character design" LOL as in... I do perceive people very based on "If they were a character, what does their design tell me about their personality" kind of deal dfghj

what’s your eye color?

Grey-ish blue. Dark blue?

scary movies or happy endings?

help I am very VERY selective with the kinds of horrors I vibe with so really happy endings pretty much 97% of the time (Fear & Hunger is the 3% lol)

any special talents?

Huuh I know how to take machines apart! And how to build many many things out of trash. Also by taking machines apart sometimes you learn how to fix them, but I wouldn't trust myself to fix anything super important lol

where were you born?

Caracas, Venezuela! And I moved to the U.S (Sadly) in 2017.

what are your hobbies?

Help what do you do when your hobby is your job. I do a lot of the "ough I been drawing this thing for too long, I better take a break and draw this other thing" LOL but huuuh when I feel like doing something else I play videogames. Also I have gotten into online roleplaying again and I been starting to write fics, different from the things I usually have to write for work reasons so I count them.

do you have any pets?

The creachure The Beast Maki Roll. She is a cat.

how tall are you?

UUUH 5'3" or 5'4" I can't remember lol

favorite subject in school?

Saying art feels like a cope-out uuuh In Venezuelan highschool I really liked Literature and Biology was fun! And if we talk about college I didn't expect Sculpture to be my favorite but it was! And ofc I really liked Oil Painting (My concentration lol) and Illustration!

dream job?

OUGH I really want to work as an art curator in a museum :') or in general in a museum, put me to make an archive of historical stuff and I'll have a blast.

Another thing I would really like is working on set design! again I like physical work and traditional art so I would really enjoy it sdfgh Also also sdfgh my main goal is to make comics of my OCs lol but I don't... exactly want to work under an specific company (Maybe have a contract for publishing but my story wouldn't fully belong to them U know) so really my dream scenario is me working for some of the other stuff I want and also make comics on the side dfghj

SDFGH TAGGING HUUH @bolitamurcielago @seastawright @todd-machine and huuh @pixiunera sure why not!! (BTW don't feel preasured to do it I just threw you because friends beloveds <3 )

[fulltimesapphic]

When I joined tumblr it was first because I was shocked I could. Then it was for the fan stuff. Then it was so I could post some crappy shitty Azicrow one-shot that was sadly (not really) lost when I deleted my old account. Then I found something. I found friends, I found some fake parents, I found a kid, I found a brother.... and I found you.

@sparrow-the-tired-lesbian around Christmas time (2023) we started flirting. As a joke at first. We strictly used /j's and I once even asked you if it was ok that we were like hardcore flirting because "I do that with all my friends" I cringe at that by the way. Then we started using /hj's and a few less /p's. Then we dropped even the /hj's. And on December 26th I told you that I had feelings for you.

Now I didn't know what it meant or what we could even do because at the time I was trying to figure things out with my ex. I didn't know a lot but I did know that I used to love her and now I love you.

And that feeling hasn't changed. We talked about it, I still have screenshots from it because you were so kind and so patient. I thought you were the prettiest person l'd ever seen and to top it all off you were nice and loving and smart.

It took my ex a little convincing but when I told her that I had fallen for someone else who gave me what I needed without me having ask she let me go. After that I ran to tell you and I was so excited to start something with you. Later that night (Dec 31st) you said “Your partner (?) with the shitty humor made a joke about “kerchoosing you” which ok hold on

You were so kind and considerate to not want to assume anything. Respecting boundaries is super hot btw

You have such a weird sense of humor and I will always Kerchoose you

You are kind, smart, beautiful, you make stupid jokes and make wonderful music. You care for me when I’m struggling and aren’t afraid to ask me for help.

You’ve called me Babe, Baby, Saph, Snoth, Bug and so much more. Once you called me darling and when I asked you if you could not you said absolutely and changed it. You also asked if I wanted you to call me by my irl name.

You have helped me start to love things about myself. To love myself as a whole. Things that I used to hate about myself I can look at with love because you love them. You have helped me learn things about myself and start to learn who I could be.

I have gotten so much better, so much happier because I have you to lean on if I need it. And you have me to lean on as well.

I still have my ups and downs and so do you. But when have those moments we know that we can go to each other. And I think that is so special.

I know that if I’m hating myself I can text you something random and you will make everything so much better. You deserve so much mon coeur.

I just know that when we meet (I look at that moment with a when not an if) I’m going to hold you in my arms for as long as we can stand it.

Thank you for helping me realize that I deserve be loved and that I deserve a safe place. That I deserve a home.

It’s hard to think that we haven’t know each other our whole lives, I hope to spend the rest of mine with you

Thank you Sparrow. From the bottom of my heart. And from the rest of my heart.

Happy brithday birdie

[yourbrains]

Man I just. Really hate everything about my body. I can't go one god damn day without managing some chronic pain or health issue.

If it's not hip pain, shoulder pain. If not that, then tmj. Back pain. Pinched sacral nerve and ankle numbness. Subluxed rib. Pain walking. Pelvic dysfunction triggered by a kidney infection. Bladder inflammation/possibly interstitial cystitis (which triggered this post). More that I won't get into. Literally have had all of this at some point in 2024

If it was just one thing consistently, I could handle it. I've gotten there with a good chunk of my hypermobility stuff and know how to manage a lot of it. I've got my little book of strengthening exercises and stretches I've built over 10 years of off and on again physical therapy. It works it helps.

But my body is a game of fucking whack a mole that when I figure out one thing, something else flares up soon after. Every fucking time. Every time. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of being sick and uncomfortable and in pain every day.

Throw the fucking autism and massive work burnout I had in, which led to permanent reduction in my capacity to do anything btw even though my life is much easier than it was a year or two ago, and I'm just a big mess 😃👍

I'm thankful I'm not in a ton of pain right now, more discomfort. My mental health is better than it used to be too when it comes to accepting my conditions and limitations, but jesus christ some days push those limits

I at least am leaving for Japan soon and that will be a massive and fun distraction, and I'm hoping all the walking and healthier food and not thinking about work will help manage some things. Cuz that's all I'm really clinging to right now if I'm being so for real rn

[raviliuz]

Slytherin Quidditch Team as songs from my playlist (part 1)

Marcus Flint ~ .intoodeep. by Dead Poet Society

Maybe let's start with overall vibe and melody and stuff. It sounds so dramatic, I can't explain it with simple words but it's giving walls falling, internal chaos that has to be sorted. And it fits Marcus so well, especially during summer of '93 when a lot of things went shite, he got disowned, had to repeat 7th year and just sort out who he is. The song is about making music which obviously doesn't apply to Flint but I think it can be fairly translated to quidditch for him. Spending so much time and blood, sweat and tears on the quidditch pitch, it being what saved him, where you sought a break during his worst times. It's so hard to leave it, it feels like a betrayal. But he had to make that decision when it came to a professional career.

But let's get to the lyrics

I heard my boy just bought his own house

Told me I could crash while I figure it out

I mean, he literally stayed at Higgs' during that time

I know I'm sounding crazy, know you think I'm fucking lazy

But you'll never understand

Marcus has ADHD which was undiagnosed for like 17 years of his life. That obviously affected him, his education and thus his self esteem. Flint for years thought he's just dumb and lazy because everyone has to do all that school stuff and everyone is doing okay, so clearly there's a problem in him. Finding out that he has ADHD and that was the reason for all of it was so calming and reassuring. But still it didn't mean people around him, even teachers, would understand his disability and how it affects him.

There's no light, inside I'm paralyzed

But fuck it 'cause I'm in too deep

I think it fits Marcus seeking himself around all the shit planted in him by his parents, trying to sort the true him around all expectations and opinions of his parents which he wanted to just erased.

Goodbye to my memories of being at home

As I said, erased them.

I know my mind is a mess

Well, ADHD affects the way one think so he could have issues with like- sorting his thoughts and refering them to others because for them they might seem random and unrelated

My confidence making claims

In Marcus case more like the lack of confidence. Tho it has gotten much better through the years it still wasn't the best and affected him. Flint hated himself, considered himself a disappointment for everyone, felt so ashamed. It was coming back late at night, during worse moments, bringing him back down.

I swear it's all 'bout to change

I'm not just faded

I see Marcus telling that to himself. Like a promise he's going to get through this, that he's so much more than his parents' son.

I'm alive btw, uni is so awesome, I hope you're doing great