#i DO find it fun to build an entire model from scratch but imagine how much faster 3D media could be made with a tool like this??

[pankomako]

hey i wonder if AI could generate 3D models from 2D character turnarounds. would that be neat or what

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[rae-is-typing]

Scars

Original request from @sorrybutimtrying: Can you do one where Chris Evans or Paul Rudd meets a fan, sees her scars and tries to help her. Or something like that

Description: You win one of those contests where you and some other people get to meet and fraternize with a celebrity. This time, it’s Paul Rudd. He notices something you wished he hadn’t.

Characters: reader, original female and male characters (Sophia the Marvel person, Olivia the other teen girl, and a lot of unnamed men and women), Paul Rudd

Warnings: swearing, implied self-harm, self-harm scars, being sexually harassed at work, mentioned cat calling

Word count: 3.8k

See Ant-Man three weeks early, hang out with the one and only Paul Rudd, play laser tag, and pizza together on an all expenses paid trip to LA! Enter now! 12 lucky fans will be chosen. Entries close in three hours. 

You take a moment to stop scrolling. Your heart speeds up; it always does when opportunities arise. You always apply, but you never win. Glancing at the clock, you see you still have ten minutes on break. 

What the heck, might as well enter. There's nothing to lose. 

Entering takes the rest of your break. You were asked questions, and had to enter your phone number and email address a few times. You submit your entry as soon as your break ended. Sighing, you push yourself to your feet. Back to serving customers and getting yelled at by your manager. 

------------------------

Life gets hard and you completely forget that you ever entered in the first place. 

You aren't proud of what you do to cope. Hell, you've managed to stop doing it completely for a few months. But sometimes it's so hard. Too hard to do anything else. 

You don't show off your scars. By sticking to long sleeve shirts, concealer, and strategically placed bracelets, you can easily make it seems like there are a few birthmarks on your wrists instead anything self-inflicted. 

Unfortunately, you can't afford to see a professional. Both you and your mother are working multiple jobs so you can eat and have a place to live. Deep down, you know you should tell her. Deep down, you want to tell her. But you can't bring yourself to. It'll only stress her out. Between two jobs and going back to school to finish her degree, you don’t want to bring her more stress. But your always hopeful for the day where she'd be able to help you through your hard days. 

Speaking of hard days, you hate being a waitress. You work in a particularly sleazy part of town where the guys like to call out anything resembling a female body. Walking down the street brings you one cat call after another, and waitressing isn't any better. You get called every pet name under the sun. Sweetie, babe, baby girl, jujubee. Someone even called you, a 16-year-old wearing some of the baggiest clothes imaginable, sugartits. Your manager had fun with him. 

After getting home, you flop on your bed and fight the urge to cry. You made a whopping fifteen dollars in tips that night for working 4 hours, a customer yelled at you for giving them iced tea with ice in it, and a guy started following you home until he got bored. It was not a good night. 

Then your phone starts to ring. Maroon 5 reverberates in your room, simultaneously annoying you and making you feel a tiny bit better. Without looking at the caller ID, you pick up the phone. 

"Hello?" You ask, voice muffled by the pillow your head is still buried in. 

"Hi there! I'm looking for a Y/N Y/L/N." A feminine voice chirps through the phone.

"Yeah, that's me." You roll onto your back so you can speak clearer. 

"Great. My name is Sophia Ramsey, I'm the one organizing the event with Paul Rudd. I'm so excited to let you know that you won! You will be one of twelve to be flown out to LA to meet with him and spend the day with him."

A huge smile tugs at your lips, so much so your face starts to hurt. "What?" You laugh. "Are you serious?"

"I sure am! Some blank documents have been sent to the email you provided in your entry. I need you to fill them out and either fax them to the number listed on them, mail them to the address listed, or scan them and email them to that same email address."

"I-I can totally do that!"

"Now this event is an all expenses paid, so everything will be provided for you. You'll be flown out the day of and flown back home after it ends. It will be held June seventh."

"Thank you so much!"

She laughs at your enthusiasm. "Of course. Once we get those documents we will be organizing your flights. We will be in touch."

"Awesome, wonderful. Thanks so much!"

"You're so welcome. Bye bye now."

You pull the phone away from your ear, sporting a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat himself. You won! You won you won you won! You're going to meet one of your favorite actors!

You pull up your email on your phone immediately. Spotting the email, you skim through the PDFs quickly. Since you're a minor, there are a lot of things your mom has to sign. 

I need to print these. You think, biting your lip. You don't want to wait for the next at school, you want to fill these out now. Grabbing your wallet and apartment keys, you run (yes, run) down to the library that's a few blocks away. A lot of students gather there for studying and the free wifi.

You wave at a few of your classmates, and they nod back. You print the documents off quickly, paying a small fee for the paper, and you run (yes, run) back home. 

You bounce into your apartment, still giddy (and sweaty). 

"Mom! Mom, you'll never guess what happened!" You exclaim upon seeing your mother sitting on the couch in the living room. 

She looks up from the book she was reading with a tired smile. "What happened, sweetie?"

"Remember that thing I entered? That event Marvel was hosting?" You ask, vibrating with excitement. 

"I do."

"I won! I won Mom! I get to meet Paul Rudd!" 

A grin broke out on your mom's face. "Oh, Y/N, that's awesome."

"I know! I have to fill out these documents. Do we have somewhere we can fax things? Do you know how to fax? I don't know how to fax."

She laughs. "I'll teach you how to fax things, don't you worry." 

------

You get everything taken care of the day after. After another call with Sophia, you manage scheduling flights and times for the drivers (you get a driver! how awesome!)

In the weeks leading up to the event, all your extra effort is put into a gift for Paul. You have a knack for art that you don't have much time for anymore. Between school and work, it's also hard to find energy to put into it. 

However, you said 'screw school' and began an art project: a hand-drawn collage of all Paul Rudd's characters, including Ant-Man. It takes all the time leading up to the event, but you manage to make it look amazing. Along with the collage, you write him a letter. You don't believe it to be anything very special, but you hope he will appreciate it. You detail your own struggles and how much looking up to him has helped you. 

Then the day comes.

You barely sleep at all the night before. Adrenaline and an unhealthy amount of caffeine replace any semblance of rest you may have gotten. 

The driver arrives at your apartment at 4:30 AM to take you to the nearest airport. After triple checking your stuff and a quick goodbye with your mom, you're off.

The car is so nice. You have no idea what make or model it is, but you're sure it very expensive. The drive doesn't take a long time; the roads are practically empty and there is little traffic, which is great. 

However, you're left on your own in the airport, which is not great. A lot of zombie-esque people are there, a few crying children, and some drug dogs even joined the party. You bite your lip, scratching at your concealed wrists. It's something you always do when you're nervous. 

You don't have any bags other than a backpack, so you don't need to check anything. Looking around, you try to spot someone that looks like they know what they're doing. You eventually do, and follow them to security.

The line is long, and after moderate hassle with the agents, you're through and on the way to your gate. Once you get there, you closely examine your ticket. First class. Your eyebrows shoot up. The first time you're flying and you get first class. Damn. Okay, you'll take it.

The flight was good: no babies cried, the flight people were all super nice, and you even got the entire row to yourself.

After the flight, you're off to the venue. You meet your new driver at the exit and get to another very expensive looking car. 

LA traffic is everything you've heard and more. The streets are packed, and it takes quite a while for you to get where you're supposed to be. But when you do, it is incredible. 

The building is huge. It's wall to wall one way glass. The sun bounces off the silver accents, almost blinding you. Out of pure impulse, you take a picture. You almost don't believe that you're here. 

After thanking the driver, you hop out of the car and walk into the glass building. The interior is even prettier. 

It's clean, with dark oak floors and chairs and tables lining the wall. A small group of excited people are gathered by a longer table full of stuff. Your anxiety spikes. This is actually happening. You're going to meet one of your heroes and give him some of your art. This cannot be happening. You nails find your wrist again.

After making your way to the small group, they immediately welcome you into the circle. They each introduce themselves for probably the millionth time, and one of them informs you that everyone is here. 

After a few minutes of pure small talk, a woman walks into the lobby area. 

"Hi everyone!" You all turn to her. She's dressed in a red sleeveless blouse, black slacks and high heels. Her face is done up nicely, as is her hair. She stands proudly with a charismatic smile gracing her face."I'm Sophia, the manager of this event. I'm so excited to get started! First things first, we'll start with the meet and greet. Each one of you will get 15 minutes with Paul. After that, there'll be a few games of laser tag, and finally, the screening of the new Ant-Man movie! We at Marvel ask that you keep all the movie details to yourself so everyone can enjoy the movie when it comes out."

Murmurs of agreement spread through the room. 

“If you all follow me, we can get started," Sophia leads the group to a different room. Paul is sitting at a table with an empty chair next to him. 

Excitement spreads through you. He looks so much more real in person, as weird as that sounds. You bite your lip, keeping your mouth shut. Excited calls from the other fans make him smile widely. 

You keep your place near the back, slowly building up courage and thinking out what you're going to say. You certainly don't want to look like an idiot when you meet one of your heroes. 

"Nice bracelets." The voice of a girl pulls you from your thoughts. 

"Oh, thank you." You say, turning to see her. She has short black hair, blue eyes and pale skin. 

"Yeah. I love Panic! At the Disco. Their music is amazing."

"For real, they're so good!"

The two of you share small talk until it's her turn. For twelve people each getting fifteen minutes, time went by very fast. She talks to him excitedly, something that he reciprocates. Another wave of anxiety comes over you. Your heart speeds up, your hands get a little sweaty. Holy shit! You're actually meeting him.You fight the urge to scratch at your wrist.

Finally, it's your turn. 

You go up to the table with an anxious smile on your face. He smiles back. 

"Hi there!" He says. "I'm so glad you won."

"Thank you!" You say, sitting down in the chair. "I actually brought something."

"Oh thank you! That's awesome."

You pull out the small framed collage, placing it on the table with the enveloped letter on top. There's a small stack of stuff on the other side of him. He carefully sets the envelope to the side, now examining the poster. 

"Wow! This is so good!" He exclaims. "Did you draw this?"

You can only nod shyly. 

"This is great, really. Thank you." 

"You're welcome."

The two of you talk for the rest of the time. He signs a couple of things for you, and you take a few pictures. At the end, you want to take a funny selfie for your instagram. While taking the picture, your bracelets slide up your arm. Your heart stops for a split second when you see a fresher scar. You pull back the bracelets immediately, and play it off as soon as possible. 

But it was too late, Paul saw some of the scars. His face falls into something more solemn, concerned almost. He opens his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted. 

"Alright everyone! It is time to move on to the next event."

Paul put a smile on his face, but he gave you a worried glance at you while he stood up. He walks by Sophia as you're led through the building. The interior continued to take your breath away. Postmodern design flooded your sight as everyone crams into an elevator. 

You're taken up a few floors and the elevator opens to a small room with vests and guns attached to said vests. A blank scoreboard hangs proudly above everything. You glance around. Everyone is sporting grins. 

"Let's do girls against boys!" Olivia, the girl you were talking to before, exclaims. 

"You sure?" One of the guys pipes up. "I think there are more guys than girls," 

"There's like one more guy. We should do at least one battle of the sexes." She grins. 

"I'm cool with it," A woman in her mid twenties smirks. 

"Me too," You shrug. More murmurs of agreement spread through the group.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Girls will be red and boys will be green." Sophia says. 

"I will leave you to Ralph, he is our resident lazer tag expert." 

"Alright everyone, your goal is to destroy the other team’s base. You do that by destroying the power supply in the deepest part of the opposing team’s base. It looks like a dinosaur egg off of Jurassic Park, and it lights up. I have a few ground rules. No fighting, no sprinting, no food or drink near the equipment. But most importantly, have fun! There are large towers on each side where you have to charge your gun. Your vest will beep at you when you need to recharge. Good luck. Boys, enter to the left, girls on your right." With Ralph ending his spiel, everyone hustles into the room. 

You follow behind one of your teammates to the back of the base. The room is absolutely massive. There's a large structure running through the middle of the floor with at least four sets of stairs. The supporting poles are lit up by green and red lights. You clutch your gun to your chest. It's not the very first time you're playing laser tag, but it is the first time in a long while. 

You go off on your own, jogging up the stairs on the large structure. You speed walk quietly, ducking behind large foam covers that were spread sporadically throughout the entire floor when you suspect one of the boys had spotted you.You climb to the top. You hold your gun by your thigh, keeping your finger on the trigger. Slowly walking in circles, you try to spot the egg like power supply that Ralph had described on the ground below. 

Suddenly, someone bumped into you. You jump, barely holding back a yelp. 

"Oh, my god. I’m so sorry." Olivia quickly apologized. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you just scared the shit out of me though," You laugh. 

"I'm sorry... Y/N, right?" 

"Yeah yeah yeah, and you're Olivia, right?"

"Mhm, what are you looking for?"

"I'm trying to find the power supply." 

"Same girl. I think I saw it over there." She says, gesturing to your left. "But I'm not sure."

"Let's go check it out."

The two of you venture to the left, moving as quickly and quietly as before. Soon enough, you're able to spot the power supply through the guard rails. Only one guy is standing guard. You share a small low-five and split up to attack it. 

Olivia jogs down the stairs to ground level and you go to the second floor for better range. 

You crouch close to the floor, poking your gun through the guard rails and wait until you see Olivia come up behind the guard and start shooting. You join her immediately, and together you almost destroy it. However, your gun runs out of charge. 

Cursing under your breath, you jog as fast as you can (almost running) down to a charging base, where you run into Olivia again. 

"Dude, that was fucking crazy." She laughs. "We almost had them."

Laughing breathlessly, you agree. "For real though. We got them this time. Same plan?"

"Hell yeah,"

"What plan?" A new voice cuts in. The woman in her mid twenties pops up out of nowhere. 

"We found their supply. I went low and she went to the second floor. If we have one more person, I think we got this. We'll have to hurry though."

A grin spreads on the woman's face. "Let's do it. I'll head to the first floor on the other side."

The three of you jog together back to the same place as before. You show the woman where to go, then you leave to go up one floor. 

Once again, you start to shoot when Olivia does. The woman joins in soon after. 

You hear the guards frustrated cries as he tries to fend off all three of you at once. A few of the other guys come running back, but it was too late. Girls won! 

You laugh, throwing your hands up. "Hell yeah!" 

Olivia cheers, and the woman whoops. The lights come on, making you wince.

"Game over. Red team has claimed their victory! Congratulations, ladies!" Ralph's voice comes over intercoms you didn't know were there. 

You make your way down to ground level, meeting up with the other women. You congratulate each other. 

"Let's do it again! Same team?”

The lot of you end up playing three more games: girls vs. boys, old people vs. young people, and Paul vs. Everyone else. Boys won, young people won, and the last one was a tie. (You and Olivia ended up teaming up with Paul anyways, but no one else needs to know that.)

After that, everyone was crammed into an elevator yet again. This time smelling a lot less pleasant after running and sneaking around.

All of you are lead to another floor. This one resembled a movie theater more than anything else. A huge table of food is set up in front of the door to the screening room. 

Everyone begins to get their dinner, most of them being hungry from the hour and a half spent running around in the dark shooting at each other. 

Before you could grab a plate, however, someone places a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Paul standing behind you.

You smile up at him. "Hi."

"Hey. I wanna talk to you, could we step out?" That look of concern from before is etched onto his face. 

"Sure," You say, the slightest bit of hesitation seeping into your voice. You step into a smaller, unoccupied corner of the hall. Before you can ask any questions, he starts speaking. 

"Look, I don't know your situation, I don't know you, and I don't know what you've been through, but I saw your wrist. I know what it's like to be low, and I just wanted to tell you that it gets better. Everything is going to work the way it's meant to. Everything is going to be okay. And if you need help, don't be afraid to ask. Mental pain is just as serious and debilitating as physical pain is. I hate to see anyone go through this, especially my fans."

Tears prick at you eyes at his words. No one has ever taken you aside and spoken to you like this before. All the anxiety and trepidation leaves your body, and your left with this warmth and reassurance. 

You can only bite your lip and nod. He smiles again and opens his arms. You hug briefly before leaving the corner and getting your food. 

Everything after that is all smiles and laughter. The food is some of the best you've ever had; they certainly spared no expense. 

The movie is incredible. You have no doubt in your mind that you'll save your tips and take your mom to see it one night after it comes out.

Truth be told, you're sad this is over. You want to do more with everyone, but you're so undeniably grateful that you got this opportunity. More pictures are taken, social media is exchanged, and soon you're all on your separate ways home.

When you get home, you pass out on your face, shoes barely kicked off your feet. You never expected to wake up to what you did though. 

A DM from Paul Rudd. 

Hey Y/N! It was so nice meeting you! I'm so glad you had the opportunity to attend the event. It's always so wonderful to spend time with fans. I wanted to tell you that your collage is amazing! You have a real knack for art. You should definitely keep it up if you can. Thank you for sharing your story in the letter. It really moved me. I also wanted to let you know one last time that things do get better, things do improve. Stay strong for yourself and your future. You got this.

[fourdaysofrain]

By Any Other Name

Summary: 5 times Peter called Mr. Stark Tony, and one time he called him something else entirely. 

(Still set in the Irondad oasis between Homecoming and Infinity War)

Read on AO3

i. in the lab

It started, as most of their personal conversations do, during a late night in the lab. Peter was alternating between working on a history worksheet and his web-shooters, switching between the two projects when he ran out of steam. Tony was idly tinkering with a box of scraps while he waited for FRIDAY to process his newest idea for nanotech, which would take at least another hour. It was a gentle kind of silence that filled the room, only broken by various lab noises that they had both since learned to tune out-- a whir here, the ting of a fallen screw there, the soft scratching of a pencil on paper. 

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter said, his voice easily carrying over the room, “What was the main catalyst for World War I?”

There was a short pause while Tony switched his attention from the growing pile of machinery in front of him to the teenager across the room before he answered, “Franz Ferdinand’s death.”

“Thanks,” Peter responded as he quickly wrote something down, “that’s what I thought, but I wasn’t sure about his name.” He laughed to himself softly, but it faded when he looked up to see Tony looking at him intently.

Tony took a breath to center himself before speaking. How could he tell the kid every time he called him Mr. Stark, it just reminded him of shitty fathers and childhoods spent masquerading like adults and drinking to avoid the stares of students and professors alike and-- he cut off his spiral with a short sniff. He decided casual was the best way to approach this. 

“Hey kid, why do you still call me Mr. Stark?”

Peter blanched as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

“It’s just that you’re a billionaire and a literal superhero, and May raised me to be respectful, I guess. There’s nothing more to it.” If it weren’t for the slightly more hysterical than normal nervous laugh that followed, Tony might have believed him. 

“You call Rhodey by his first name,” Tony countered, “well, technically by his middle name, but the point stands.”

“That’s different because Rhodey’s not--” the man who spends all of his time either protecting me or poking fun at me, my childhood hero, my quasi-dad parental figure type person “--my mentor.” 

“I can safely say that as your mentor, and given that you are also a ‘literal superhero,’” he rolled his eyes, successfully getting an annoyed smile from Peter, “I hereby grant you the ability to call me Tony.” He punctuated his words with a quick flourish of his hands. 

Peter sighed before making hesitant eye contact, tapping his fingers against the leg of his jeans, “Okay… Tony.”

“That wasn’t too bad, was it? The world is still standing, the clock is still ticking,” now it was Peter’s turn to roll his eyes, “and speaking of the clock still ticking, looks like we let it tick a little too long. Time for bed, Spiderling.”

Peter reacted quickly to the change in conversation, “I can’t go to bed yet! I still have a few questions on this worksheet, and it’s due tomorrow!”

“You should have thought about that sometime before--” his eyes flitted to the clock and back, “--12:30 am. Jesus kid, you really do have to get to bed. Don’t want you taking after me too much.” 

Tony tried to keep his tone light and joking, but it fell flat. Peter and him made eye contact for a second that seemed to stretch towards infinity before Tony looked away, pretending to study something on his desk.  

“I mean, red and gold aren’t my colors, but I could manage,” Peter joked. 

Tony chuckled at that, letting himself live in a world where his biggest regret was Iron Man’s suit design for a few moments. 

“C’mon kid, flattery will get you nowhere. Let’s close up for the night.” He didn’t bother with clearing the scraps off his desk, he would go back down to the lab after making sure Peter went to bed. 

“Please let me finish this, I promise it’ll be less than five minutes. I’ll even use FRIDAY so I can go even faster!”

“Kid, only you could make cheating sound like a good thing,” Tony took a beat to decide, as if Peter didn’t already have him wrapped around his finger, “Alright, just don’t tell your aunt that I let you stay up so late, it makes me look irresponsible. Or Pepper, for that matter. Thank God she’s still on her business trip or we would both be in trouble.”

“Thank you so much, Mr. Stark-- Tony. I’ll be out of here soon.” 

Tony huffed out a laugh at the kid’s antics as he walked across the room to grab some more tools. 

True to his word, Peter finished his homework in record time, thanks to FRIDAY’s seemingly endless database of information. Just as Tony was relaxing into the steady back and forth of their conversation, he heard the harsh zip of Peter’s backpack.

“Alright, it’s all finished, so I can go to bed now,” Peter said, looking pointedly at Tony. 

“What’s with the look?”

“I think if you’re forcing me to go to bed, you should too.” Peter normally lost his filter when he was tired, so Tony shouldn’t be surprised that he’s getting rightfully called out.

“How about this-- I’ll walk you up, and then you can pretend I went to bed and not listen to my footsteps as I come back down here.” 

Peter rolled his eyes but saved the witty comeback. He instead just walked to the door with his backpack and looked back at Tony like a dog getting ready for a walk. The imagery made Tony laugh to himself. 

“Alright, I’m coming. FRI, put the lights to 50% all the way to Pete’s room.” A quick confirmation from the AI was all he needed to open the door and lead the way to the bedroom wing. He slung an arm around Peter, grasping his shoulder as the kid walked sleepily beside him.

They walked in amicable, or just tired, silence until they got to Peter’s door. May let him spend the night enough times that Peter finally felt comfortable enough to take ownership of the room, instead of having everyone pretend it was the guest room. It had a small whiteboard on the outside, reminding Tony of his days in the dorms at MIT. Tony smirked when he saw that someone, probably one of Peter’s Midtown friends, had drawn a spider building a web in the corner. 

“Last stop, Underoos,” Tony said, softly breaking the silence. Peter mumbled a thanks as he went to open the door. He looked at Tony expectantly for a beat before walking into his bedroom. 

“Goodnight, Tony,” came Peter’s voice from inside as the door closed behind him. Tony frowned. He sounded disappointed. He shrugged it off as lack of sleep.

“Night Pete,” he replied.

He stood still in front of Peter’s door. He wanted to go back to the lab to work on his newest idea for nanotech. He knew FRIDAY would be done with rendering the new models by now. Nonetheless, he signed before continuing down the hall to his own bedroom. That damn kid. 

ii. in the kitchen

The kitchen was filled with the aroma of warm spices. Peter followed it like a cartoon character after a pie. He expected to find Pepper, or maybe even Rhodey, baking something to share with everyone. He wasn’t prepared to see Tony Stark wearing an apron with the Mark VII’s arc reactor printed on the chest while singing proudly along to the music playing through FRIDAY’s speakers. Peter could have sworn he saw that apron at a tourist shop somewhere downtown. He walked into Tony’s line of sight, causing him to stop singing and tell FRIDAY to turn the volume down, though he didn’t look at all embarrassed at being caught. 

“Hey kid, have you ever had my famous molasses cookies? They’re an old Stark recipe. My mom taught me, her dad taught her, his dad... et cetera. It’s passed onto the firstborn. Top secret stuff.” He shot a silly wink across the room. 

Peter shook his head, still shell-shocked from seeing Tony acting so… domestic. 

“Well, today’s your lucky day. The first batch just came out.” Tony motioned to where a dozen cookies were sitting on a wire rack, and Peter eyed it hungrily. 

“Thanks, Mr. Stark!” As Pete moved to the counter to grab one, Tony stepped in to block his way.

“What’s the magic word?” he asked playfully. 

“Please?”

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’ with a smirk, “for me, it’s Tony.”

Peter shook his head as he said, “Sorry. Thanks, Tony.” He was rewarded with a clear path to the cooling cookies. He walked over and grabbed one, nowhere near as excited as he was a few seconds earlier. Tony frowned.

“What’s up, Pete?”

“Nothing,” Tony fixed him with a hard stare, and Peter took a second before continuing, “it’s just that calling you Tony is weird for me.” He grabbed a few cookies and a napkin, and sat at the counter across from Tony, not eating them yet.

“Why would it be weird? It’s my name, right?” Peter nodded, so he continued, “Mr. Stark is what everyone called my dad, or what people trying to brown-nose called me. Neither of those options makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You’re better than them, kid.” A flash of guilt went over Peter’s face, but Tony convinced himself he imagined it. 

“It’s just I already had the habit of calling you Mr. Stark, so it’ll take me a while to get used to it. No biggie,” he ended with taking a bite of a cookie, “Oh my God, these are insane! Why have you never made them before?”

Tony wasn’t entirely convinced but was willing to let it slide for now. 

“Next time, I’ll teach you the recipe so you can make them yourself,” he said casually.

“Um, didn’t you say the recipe was for Starks only?” Peter looked up from his cookies to Tony, his eyes wide and innocent. 

“Yeah well,” Tony scratched his eyebrow, searching for what to say, “just don’t tell TMZ and I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

Peter smiled softly to himself as he continued to eat. Tony failed to suppress his own warm smile as he started to scoop out the next batch. The unsaid message was heard loud and clear.

You’re family. 

iii. at home

May and Peter were eating take-out at the table, May’s failed dinner residing somewhere in the dumpster outside. The clinks of their silverware and their warm conversation filled the apartment. 

“So what are your plans for this weekend? Ned seemed excited about something last time I saw him,” May asked as she took another bite. Peter made sure to swallow his own mouthful of food before responding.

“He got a new Lego set, and I’m going to help him build it on Sunday. But Friday night I’m going to spend the night at Tony’s, he said he already cleared it with you, and then Saturday I’ll probably be patrolling and doing homework all day.” Peter looked at May to find her smiling at him. He gave her a confused look.

“It’s so funny to hear you call him Tony. Like he’s a high school friend or something.” Peter laughed along with her goodnaturedly. 

“He said Mr. Stark makes him feel like his dad, so I’m getting used to saying Tony.”

“I can imagine. If you called me Mrs. Parker I think I’d have to kick you out.” May and Peter shared a playful smirk.

“Yeah well, that’s different. You’re my aunt, he’s Iron Man!” Peter still couldn’t hide his feeling of awe at personally knowing the Iron Man. May just smiled sweetly at him. 

“And being your aunt is the closest to a superhero I ever want to be,” May said as she reached over and rubbed his cheek, “and speaking of Tony, you should invite him over for dinner sometime. I’m willing to let him try to win me over after seeing how much he matters to you.”

Peter blushed but nodded. May hummed in response, and they kept eating dinner.  

iv. at the front desk

Peter swore under his breath. He’s supposed to be working on Dum-E and U’s little brother right now, but he has to get to the lab first. He was in the lobby of the tower (Tony decided not to sell it after the whole plane crash incident), and couldn’t think of how to get past the front desk. His suit was still being repaired in the lab, so he couldn’t just crawl up the side of the building. Happy didn’t drop him off today, so he couldn’t use his ID card, and his phone died on the cab ride over, so he couldn’t just text Mr. Stark-- Tony.

He’s gotten better with calling him Tony, but it still feels clunky and strange on his tongue. And now, he had the added guilt of making Tony think of his dad every time he messed up. They didn’t talk about it much, but Peter was good enough at understanding subtext to know he wasn’t a good person to be reminded of. He hated to see the hurt look on his face when he couldn’t say Tony with the same excitement as Mr. Stark. But how do you explain to someone that using their first name makes you think of your dead uncle?

Peter knew he’s had a lot of trauma in his life, especially regarding the death of family members-- specifically, parental figures. 

He called Richard “Dad” because that’s what he was, and that’s all he thought mattered at that age. He taught him to tie his shoes, he was there when he was born, and he heard his first word. But then, he died. And Peter moved in with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. 

He called Ben by his first name because Dad was already taken. It was a simple decision. They had a conversation one night where Peter said he saw Ben as a father in every way except for the title. Ben’s eyes had been misty as he gave him a hug goodnight that evening. Then Ben was also taken from him, and he was left to mourn with Aunt May. 

Enter Tony Stark. Peter has known him since just a few months after he got bit by a spider and fell into the persona of a crime-fighting vigilante. In the short time he’d known him, Tony had already made a big impact on his life. An upgraded suit, access to a high-tech lab with the supplies to make anything he could ever want, and, of course, another sort of father figure. Tony isn’t as confident in his emotions as Ben, or as outwardly paternal as Richard, but their bond is already much stronger than a standard mentor-mentee relationship. 

It’s depressing to even think about, but Peter is running out of ways to address the influential men in his life. Richard got the title, Ben got the first name, which leaves an awkward “Mr. Stark” leftover. It didn’t make sense, Peter knew that, but calling Mr. Stark by his first name just made him think of all the times he called Ben by his. But he’d gone through worse, and he could handle saying Tony, for his sake. 

He shook his head a bit before finally walking up to the front desk. The best way out of the woods is through, after all. He smiled awkwardly at the woman behind the front desk, knowing he must have seemed very out of place. 

“Can I help you?” she said, looking at his nerdy graphic tee and jeans dismissively over her glasses.

“Yes, thank you, I’m just here to see Tony.” Peter tried to give his best I’m a sweet kid, please help me smile. 

“Tony…?”

“Sorry, Tony Stark. I’m supposed to be in the lab with him right now, but I was running late so I had to take a cab, and my phone died so I can’t text him,” he started to trail off, looking for any reaction in the receptionist. 

“Cute,” she said, her bored expression not changing, “but Mr. Stark is very busy right now. You can check the website for when he does meet and greets. If you have any fan mail, you can leave it with me and I’ll send it to his office.”

“No I’m--” Peter cut himself off by running a hand through his hair, “I’m not a fan, I’m serious, can you just tell him Peter’s in the lobby?”

“Listen kid,” and wow did it sound much icier than when Tony said it, “you seem really sweet, but do you really expect me to believe that not only does a middle schooler get to spend one-on-one time with the owner of SI in his personal labs, but he’s on a first name basis with him, too?”

“I’m in high school,” Peter said, but his confidence had already wilted. He wished that he and Tony had actually set up his internship documents instead of continuously putting it off, so he could just scan an ID and walk in. 

“Sure. Do you have any other stories, or do I need to call security?”

Peter murmured to himself as he started to turn away, stopping when he saw the receptionist’s face finally change from bored to shocked. Not a second later, he felt a steady hand clap his shoulder. He instinctively looked behind him, only to see Tony, sporting a pair of sunglasses and a suit. 

“That won’t be necessary, Miss…” Tony checked the nametag of the receptionist before continuing to speak, “Debbie. Peter here just got a little lost. He’s a high school intern, who I still need to issue an ID to.” 

“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark--” Tony cut her off with a raised hand.

“No need to apologize, I’m glad you’re doing your job well. We’ll be going now.”

Tony led Peter to the elevators, leaving the shocked receptionist blinking to herself. Peter waited until the doors slid shut behind them before he spoke.

“Sorry Tony, I left my suit in the lab, and then my phone ran out of battery on the way here--” Tony cut him off by ruffling his hair as he took his sunglasses off.

“What’s with people and apologizing to me today? FRIDAY let me know when you walked in, I just had to finish some boring meeting before coming down.”

“Oh. Okay, cool.” Peter bounced on his heels awkwardly as the elevator slowed to a stop.

“And,” Tony smirked down at Peter and tapped the sunglasses in his hand when he looked up, “I heard and saw everything through FRIDAY. So if you do have any fan mail, please make sure it gets to my office.”

Peter groaned. He would never live that down. 

v. on a rooftop

Peter swung to the top of a nearby building and sat with his back leaning against the roof entrance, letting out a huge sigh as he finally got to relax. He slid his mask off and closed his eyes to work through the withdrawal of adrenaline as he waited for Tony’s inevitable lecture. Thankfully (or not), he didn’t have to wait too long. It was only a matter of minutes before he heard the Iron Man suit touch down next to him. He heard the faceplate lifting before Tony’s voice cut through the silence. 

“Are you hurt, Pete?” Peter was too tired to try to analyze his mood through his voice. He just shook his head from side to side. 

“FRI, do a scan for me.” He couldn’t hear FRIDAY’s response from where he was sitting, but it must have proved he was okay because Tony just huffed and walked to his side.

“Sorry,” Peter muttered.

“Kid, you can’t just apologize and keep doing the same thing over and over. I told you to not meddle with this… goblin guy. If you’re really sorry you wouldn’t keep going against my direct orders.”

Peter just muttered under his breath as he turned to face away from Tony.

“Hey, we’re having a conversation here, look at me,” he ordered.

“Are we?” Peter swung his head back to face Tony, feeling some of his exhaustion fall away at the prospect of an argument, “because it seems pretty one-sided to me.”

“No, you don’t get to do that,” Tony pointed his finger accusingly, “you could have been hurt, you could have died today Peter, are you willing to face that? What would have happened if I hadn’t shown up?”

“I would have been fine,” Peter said, stumbling as he stood up. Despite himself, Tony automatically started to move to help steady him before he was waved off, “I can handle myself.”

“I wish I believed that.”

“I wish you did, too.”

Tony broke eye contact first, stepping back and rubbing his face as he sighed. 

“Kid, you remind me too much of myself, which just makes me end up feeling like my dad. You have to listen to me when I tell you to do something. I do, in fact, have a reason behind what I say to you. If you died out there, I’d--”

“You’d what,” Peter interrupted, his temper rising, “you’d feel sad? You’d be guilty? You know what’d I feel if I died? Nothing. At all. So stop trying to guilt-trip me--”

“Guilt-trip? That’s not what’s happening here. Jesus kid, I’m just trying to say that you have people who care about you, and you need to take care of yourself.”

“Yeah well people caring about me won’t stop me from doing the right thing. He would have killed plenty of innocent civilians who also had people that cared about them if I hadn’t stopped him.”

“Listen, I know you think you know what’s best for you and what’s best for the world, but you’re 16, you have no clue what the world can do to a person.”

“I have no clue what the world can do to a person?” Peter was definitely angry now. His filter completely gone, he continued, “My parents died when I was six. I was there to see my uncle die. Aunt May and I were barely living paycheck to paycheck before I met you. My first girlfriend’s dad tried to kill me. Next time try taking the silver spoon out of your mouth before you try to talk to me about knowing what the world can do to a person, Tony.”

The name shot out like a bullet covered in ice. Peter’s shoulders were still shaking with his heavy, angry breaths. He looked up to see Tony’s face passively blank, the same way it looked when Peter asked about his black eye on the way back from Germany. He instantly felt a wave of guilt. 

“Look, I’m sorry--” Tony silently raised a hand, cutting him off. 

“I know you’ve gone through a lot, Peter. I’m willing to ignore that outburst. I also know that you feel like you need to save the whole world, but you can’t. No matter how good of a hero you are, there’s always going to be people you can’t save.”

Peter looked to his feet as Tony let his final statement float in the air for a beat.

“That’s why I put you on the bench sometimes. You have to let the people who have already lost fight the battles where they’re going to lose more. You’re still young, and you have to let us protect you. Me, your aunt, Rhodey, even Happy. We all want the best for you, kid. You’re going to be the best of us. We want to make sure you stay safe for long enough so we have someone to pass the torch to.” A beat passed before Peter nodded and put his mask back on.

“I think I’m just gonna go back home now.”

“I can handle that,” Tony said cooly. Peter walked to the edge of the roof, about to jump off, when he looked back over his shoulder.

“Tony?” he heard the clink of the faceplate moving back into place before he saw Tony turn around. They looked at each other across the roof for a beat, through the safety of their masks, before Peter continued. 

“Thank you.”

vi. in the lab (again) 

It was just an average weekend. That is to say, an average weekend for someone who was bitten by a radioactive spider and then taken under the wing of the local billionaire/superhero. Peter and Tony were tinkering in the lab together on Peter’s Mark III suit. The sun was just starting to dip under the horizon, momentarily painting the whole room pink. 

“I don’t know if I want the instant-kill mode anymore,” Peter said hesitantly. He looked over to see Tony’s hard stare focused on FRIDAY’s hologram of the suit between them. 

“Non-negotiable. You don’t have to use it, but I’ll sleep better knowing you have it.” Peter looked away, suddenly wanting to change the subject. 

“What about the web-shooters? Do you still think I need all 576 combinations?” His attempt to lighten the mood worked and Tony looked over at him with a smirk.

“Have you tried all of them yet?”

“Well,” Peter looked to the side as he tried to remember, “I think I’ve used at least 6 different ones.”

“We can keep them until you’ve tried them all, then.” Peter coughed something that sounds suspiciously like “helicopter mom” and Tony jokingly tapped his fist against his shoulder. 

“You still like the red and blue?” Tony asked, “I tried adding different colors in different marks of the Iron Man suits, it keeps things fresh.” Peter screwed his face up in concentration, or maybe in disgust at remembering the Mark XXVII’s color scheme. 

“I want people to be able to recognize me still. So let’s stick with the same general design.” Tony nodded his head as he typed something into the projected keyboard in front of him and the phrase “similar design” showed up on a growing list of points next to the suit’s hologram. 

“How’s your… stickiness working? Is the suit getting in the way?” Peter sighed in frustration.

“I wish I knew how it worked so we could figure out how to help it, but the suit doesn’t bother it. As long as I don’t think about it too hard I can stick to anything.”

“Next week let’s experiment with the ‘anything’ part,” Tony said as he pushed away from the desk they were sharing. He tapped Peter’s shoulder as he walked behind him, “Be right back, coffee break.” 

Peter nodded, his focus on the suit. His brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what to improve. He remembered that his phone’s touchscreen couldn’t register his fingers in the suit, and they could easily put conductive material in the gloves to solve it. He turned around to get Tony’s attention.

“Hey, Ben--” and he instantly closed his mouth.

Time froze. Tony turned at the noise, and they both stared at each other like two deer in headlights. The amicable silence in the lab turned oppressive. Peter could pinpoint the exact moment when Tony remembered that Ben was the name of his late uncle by how his eyes went from squinting in confusion to wide in shock. They were both somehow blushing and pale as a sheet at the same time, seemingly stuck in that position for hours. Peter tried to think of the best excuse to leave the lab as soon as he could. 

“I forgot something in my bedroom,” Peter said, starting time back up again. He quickly skittered to the lab door.

“Wait,” he felt himself stop at Tony’s words, even though he wanted nothing more than to escape this situation, “as much as we both would much rather ignore what just happened, let’s… talk about this.” At least Peter wasn’t alone in his agony. He slowly turned around to face the awkward conversation head-on. They both stood in silence before Peter finally spoke.

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark, it’s just--”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Tony said, setting his coffee mug down on the counter, “you don’t need to apologize. I’m telling you right now that I’m not offended or upset with you at all about this. I just think we should talk about why it happened.” Peter sighed and ran a hand nervously through his hair as Tony looked anywhere but his face.

“Well… you know how my parents and uncle are dead?” Peter looked over to see Tony’s eyes snap to his as a mix of confusion, sadness, and sympathy. He chuckled a little at the sight before continuing, “sorry, that was a little harsh. But they are. Dead, that is.”

Tony’s face didn’t improve. Peter had to psych himself up a little bit more and took another breath to compose his thoughts. 

“Wow, I am just saying… words. But, um, yeah. I called my dad ‘Dad’ because he was my dad. Obviously,” Jesus Parker, get it together, “and then Ben was like a dad to me in so many ways, but I called him by his first name because ‘Dad’ was already taken, you know?” Realization was starting to dawn on Tony’s face.

“Kid…” Peter waved him off and continued, looking pointedly at the ground, trying to ignore the shameful pricks in the corners of his eyes.

 “And then you came in, and you do so many things that remind me of them, Mr. Stark,” Peter paused, tears starting to pool up in his eyelids. He forced himself to look at Tony, “so many things. And I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I just latch onto people in my life, and I don’t let them go. Even for a moment. And I’m projecting this idea of all the expectations of people I’ve lost in my past onto you, and that’s not healthy for me because I’ll just be disappointed when it turns out you--” 

Peter’s emotions were coming out of him like air rushing out of a balloon. It’s like calling Tony by his uncle’s name took the cork off a bottle that was now pouring all of its contents down the sink. He couldn’t stop talking now, even if he wanted to. He tried to hide his shaky breaths with a sigh, and Tony looked at him sadly, knowing to let him finish before speaking.

“And I just-- hm. I called Ben by his first name because I couldn’t call him dad. And I called you Ben because I’m just--” he cut himself off as his voice filled with more emotion, and started to pace anxiously around the lab, “--I see you as a father figure, okay? Ben was my father figure for over half my life and calling you by your first name when I already see you in the same light just made my wires get crossed. It’s not the end of the world or anything. It shouldn’t have to be this big secret. I’m an orphan one and a half times over, and you’re-- You’re a superhero, my honest-to-God childhood hero, and you take care of me in so many ways. You make me do my homework, you yell at me when I get myself hurt, we watch movies together, you ruffle my hair and call me kid, am I supposed to just treat you the same as any other adult in my life? 

“I know that’s a lot of pressure for you, and I know that we’re both shitty with talking about our feelings but this has just been festering inside of me, and every time I call you Tony I just think of Ben, and I--” a sob, this time not hidden at all as he sat down on a nearby bench, “--I miss him so much, Mr. Stark. Every day. I’m never going to get over that. And I called him by his first name. So I can’t call you by your first name, and I’m never going to call you Dad, and I’m sorry. I just-- They’re taken. And now calling someone by their last name will just make me think of you and I’m just so screwed up that I can’t--”

Peter sobbed again, dropping his head into his hands. He kept starting meaningless syllables and cutting himself off with heavy, ragged breaths. Tony quickly went over and sat next to him. He cautiously placed a hand on his back, trying to move it in circles like he remembered Rhodey doing to him when he found out his parents passed away. Peter’s breath slowly became more even as he gathered himself. Tony decided this would be a good time to say his piece. 

“Okay, first of all, I want to make sure you are absolutely certain that I am not going anywhere. You’re going to have to put up with me for a very long time.” Peter smiled softly through his tear-stained face at that, which Tony counted as a win as he continued. 

“Kid, I know I don’t say it a lot but I do care about you,” Tony hoped he didn’t notice the waver in his paper-thin voice, “I do love you, Peter. In a very paternal way. Don’t ever be ashamed of seeing me as a father figure, because I suppose I see you as a… son figure.” Tony took a second to rub his eyes and steady his breath. He looked over to see Peter’s face red and puffy, but full of adoration, and warmth, and just pure love. Tony swore he felt ten years get added to his lifespan instantly. He wanted to take a picture and tie it to the end of his suit as he flew above the city, showing off to the whole world what love looks like. 

“But you have to let me know when you’re hurting, Pete,” he continued, making sure Peter was looking at him still, “you have to. Especially if I’m the cause of it. I don’t care if I’m about to accept the Nobel Peace Prize and the last time we talked was an argument where you said you hated me. If you need help, I will be there in the blink of an eye. You just have to tell me. Tell me what is going wrong so I can fix it. It’s what I do. 

“And as for what you call me, Mr. Stark is perfect. I thought I-- well. It used to remind me of my father, but now it’ll just remind me of you.” He finished his small speech with a smile directed at Peter, his eyes wet but sparkling with love as he looked at his kid. 

They sat like that for a few minutes. Just basking in the warmth of their shared love as the pink light of the sunset faded and FRIDAY turned on the overhead lighting. Tony eventually decided to break the silence. 

“All those emotions certainly tired me out,” Tony joked, getting a grin from Peter in return, “You ready for bed, Pete?” 

“I’m ready to lay in my bed on my phone for a few hours before actually falling asleep if that’s what you mean.” Tony rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Okay whippersnapper, I’ll never understand your generation.” 

Tony opened the lab door and led them both out into the hallway. They walked to the bedroom wing without saying anything, the comfortable silence they had in the lab still covering them like a warm blanket. They stopped outside Peter’s bedroom as usual. 

“Don’t let the bedbugs bite, Underoos,” Tony said as he turned to go to his bedroom.

“I love you, Mr. Stark,” Peter blurted out, causing Tony to turn around, “I didn’t say it earlier. But I do.”

Peter was biting his lip nervously as Tony felt his heart beat a little quicker. He smiled warmly at Peter, more genuine than he had smiled in a long time. 

“Oh, come on over here, kid. I think we’re there.” 

Tony opened his arms and Peter practically ran into him. 

“Watch the spider-strength,” He grunted as Peter laughed and tucked his face into Tony’s chest. His nose was just barely brushing against the metal border of his arc reactor. The blue light made Peter’s hair look like a painting. 

Standing there, with Peter’s arms wrapped around him, Tony knew that he would do anything in his power to make sure he stayed safe and happy. He felt a fierce fire deep in his chest that almost dared the world to send something at him, just to let him have something to prove his strength to. He felt like he could take down an entire army. Like he could climb to the top of Mount Everest without even breaking a sweat. 

But instead, he just wrapped his arms around Peter and took a deep breath, committing this feeling to memory. 

“I love you too, kid.”

Tag List: @ironfamjam

[b4civility]

August,7

fanfic based on the “teenage love triangle” on Folklore, “Betty”, “August” and “Cardigan”. Still releasing new chapters, stay tooned! 

[NO WARNINGS] 

summary: Betty doesn’t realize she is touching James the first time she does so. James doesn’t realize she is everything he wants the first time he paints her sink red. Alisson doesn’t realize she wasn’t part of the plan. August slipped away like a bottle of wine, as quick as it could,staining everything it reaches.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: Betty 

Whenever I have to pack, my head gets cloudy. Always seems like I got everything I need, except that the Object That I Take For Granted But Actually Use Everyday stays behind, like a bath sponge or a coffee pot. I know this will happen, but get a bit of a headache every time trying to fight it. All the boxes in mu checklist are checked, but this anxious feeling still buzzes inside my head. 

‘Check under the bed to see if there’s something there’, mom says. 

I check. There is, but nothing that belongs to me. 

I am moving from a house of girls to another house of girls, but at least I get to have the unspoken individuality of my belongings, the entitlement to my schedule and to have “ I would rather not talk about it” or “I want to keep it to myself” as a legitimate answer this time around. My sisters are pretty sad about it- Skyler says she will miss my closet the most. “ So I am supposed to buy my own earrings now? How much do they cost? Do you try them on at the store? Is it ok if I get them wet by accident or will they be totally ruined?” she shoots at me as I finish packing my jewelry. “ Did you not care to not spill water on my earrings when you wore them?”, I ask, but she just looks away and plays with the ones that are in her ear, that are, too, mine. They are the silver with some dark green balls at the end. I stole them from a fancy boutique when I was 14, igniting my addiction to this accessory. I stole a couple more until the guilt finally kicked in,and then became an expert on finding cheap and not that bad ones at Aliexpress. I’ll just let her have it, looks better with her short hair than with my long one. Even though we have the same kind of curls, mine weren’t as defined as hers when I had short hair. A little bit shorter than the earrings, makes her look so edgy. She loves it. 

Eliza, in the other hand, despites my wardrobe, but worships my baking skills. One Sunday or the other we bake together, she makes sour doo biscuits and I bake a cake. This is our stack for the week, and then we try a different recipe for the dessert that day. We have a nice dynamic in the kitchen by now-she hates making cake but loves eating mine and I feel the same way about her biscuits, ans since both of us have a sweet tooth, baking is taken very seriously under this roof. 

The four of us get in the car, I get the backseat since Eliza is our official DJ (not that we gave her the title, rather she took it),plus, mom likes her by her side. Never have I ever sat behind the wheels when the entire family was in the car, for some reason mom would always get cautious about it when I asked if I could drive in these situations, even though I have been each and everyone’s chauffeur at some point. 

Tomorrow, at this very hour, I would be waking up to none of them. The closest thing to not being a sister I ever had was before I was seven, when Skyler wasn’t born yet, the bedroom was all mine and dad only had one volleyball player in our backyard. The closest thing I ever got to not being a daughter when he left. I was 12, Skyler was 5 and mom was in no condition to deal with her and our loss at the same time. Grandma was around a lot for the next 2 years. I couldn’t say the same about our mother, even up to this date. 

So I was reading her body expression, her smile at what my sister was saying about the music she chose, her thin neck, blurred by some hair strands that got out of her pony tale and eventually felt on her shoulders covered by her green cardigan, and how easily breakable her peacefulness appeared. Not because of my departure,no, she has been looking like this everyday since that last day. I don’t believe the other two ever notices that, not when they got their hands full with the colossal mess they make to get their older sister’s attention. It does work, I’m even moving houses because of it;college is just a social-acceptable excuse. 

Three hours later we have completed our journey from Mendax to Verum, the college town just 20 minutes away from campus. Five other girls were to live with me, none that I have met yet, but their facebook page tells me I got another Political Science major in the house, two English majors, a biology southmore and soon-to-be-graduated journalist. I sort of hoped I was going to be the first one to arrive so I could get my stuff in place first, not have all the stubbornness that run through my family’s DNA thrown at them as a first impression and possibly bake a Homecoming/Welcome/If My Words Fail Me At Least I Have This Going For Me cake. Plus, I own Eliza this last/ first moment, so I’d ask for her help. 

 The house was unapologetically pink. The pastel tone suited the wood-revested building very well, so much it felt like Barbie Dream House: College edition. The family house energy of it, the immense porch space, the spacious interior corridors,two livingrooms and the hugh gress space in the backyard were the opposite of what you would expect of a college girls’ residency, yet everything you wish they all looked like. Besides, this was a very prospect location for an off campus party, so I think I got the upper hand with this one. 

“ You are in a Barbie movie scenario for your entire graduation. I’m so jealous I can’t barely put it into words” Skyler said, staring at it, blinking as if she was waiting for it to disappear the next time she opened her eyes. “ Yeah,I will be sitting at the porch waiting to see if Ken shows up anytime soon,too.” I answered as I stood next to her, holding boxes. “Yeah, be sure to look very carefully for him at the massive Homecoming barbecue you guys are going to be having in this abnormous big backyard of yours”.So it was that obvious.” But don’t get attached to the first cutie you see, ok? Someone better could be just around the corner... ”. I don’t even want to imagine how her college years are going to be like. Probably a little cooler than mine; she always knows how to make a fun moment even funnier. Is it legal to bring your underaged sibling to a uni party? 

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you in mind whenever I get more-than-two-dates invested in someone here”

Did Skyler really thought that my next romance would just fall into my backyard, like that?  

Chapter 2: James 

The sound of the wheels rolling on the concrete always get people looking, even when you are far from them. Anyone in top of a skateboard becomes a model in a suburban street, whose streets turn into a red carpet filled with paparazzi. I try to say something like “good morning” or “hello” to whoever I am passing by in an attempt to make my politeness overcome the annoyance of the loud noise, and convince myself that it works. Somehow, I often end up in a situation where it would be better not to be seen: whether is when I am riding my board and I get loud or in places I shouldn’t be attempting to land a trick at, or when I am pointing my camera at someone, trying to get a picture without them noticing. As if it isn’t happening for the hundredth time, I awkwardly pause, try to wave at them so I don’t come out as a stalker and gesticulating an apology all at once. People generally frown and move some place else, as a anyone in their right mind would. But only my headphones come with me for the ride when I know I will be taking The Pink House road. Two years ago I was riding by for the fourth time in the same week - ok, that was pretty stalker-y - getting shots of the house, the thing that struck me at first, and then the feature that actually grabbed my attention: the girls. There were four college girls living there, all who seemed so bubbly,so full of life, so enjoyable to the eye, so hot. By that time I had the count in my head, and one of them was missing. Didn’t mind much, got some rather good photos of Claire, the only one that I(oddly,but actually) knew. We made out at a uni party that I had sneaked in to the year before. As soon as I looked forward, A bloody face jumped in front of me,screaming, scaring me enough so that I felt in the concrete, scratched an elbow and hurting my feet. 

“THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T WEAR PROTECTION PADS!!!!! AND ALSO WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A CREEP FUCK,BASTARD!” 

As I pointed my head to the sky, the bloody shadow took away the mask, to reveal the fourth girl missing. “I-I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to.. I was just… The house, I-”

“Oh God ,it’s a creepy kid”, she said, throwing a hand to help me get up. “ So just because you are a cute teenager you think you can spy on stranger’s house like that?!?”- she said I was cute- “Yo, it’s no stalker”- kinda was- “just a random kid with a camera. Partially broken camera, you might wanna pick that piece up”. That was the day I met Inez. We got quite acquainted since that day, and photographing a place that you are allowed in got boring after the first two times so we just became friends.

I searched for her, but instead saw a brown girl istead. A new girl. Someone I was not ready to see. I stopped breathing the second she raised her head and I could see her almond eyes better, the spark on her cheeks reflecting the sun. The next thing I knew I had my face on the concrete, with the same elbow scratched, again. 

“Shit, are you ok? You're bleeding” she (yes, she!) said to me.

“I-I’m cool, I’m cool… you know,just...whatever, happens all the time and shit...” . My mouth doesn’t know how to work when my brain is in complete shock with the view, apparently. 

“You should at least wash it, your elbow could get infected, come on inside” she said, as she held my hand and arm very softly. You could see she was trying not to touch the injury much, but I swear I wasn’t feeling my entire body. 

Chapter 3: Betty 

“I suppose we should have a first aid kit here, somewhere…”- he’s painting my sink in red as the water runs in the wound. What a way to start. “Eliza, Skyler, help me; you go look if you find anything in the bathroom and you, keep at the kitchen cabinets”.

“It’s on the upper shelf, actually”, he answers.

It was.What the fuck?

“So you live here now?!?!” I hear a voice from behind that isn’t my mother’s. It’s the biology major,even though she is blonder than her facebook pictures.

“I-I-I just… arrived…. I’m sorry he… I was just...” Was I ever going to come up with the right sequence of words to explain that I, a girl she never met, had got into her house with a bleeding,also strange boy and two teenagers running wild looking through her stuff? The chances are beyond unlikely,at its best. 

“Not you, I was expecting you- I mean  him”, she arched her eyebrows.

“Inez ! long time no see, girl!”, he replies with a sort of laughing, trying to lighten up the mood. I wasn't understanding one bit of what was going on.

“ You couldn’t wait for the party so you just brought it right in yourself, huh? Look at the mess you made in my kitchen! You know, I am leaving here next year so you better make a good impression of yourself for the other girls if you want to keep falling in our doorstep and getting aid” 

“I don’t think I’m their first option but I can make it work, never smile at someone and didn’t get a smile back” he says softly, kind of taking advantage of it, as he smiles at Inez, and she tries to hold it, but smiles back. I smile a little bit too, but still- what the fuck is happening?!?! 

“ You believe that your white teeth will get you anywhere, don’t you?”

“It got me aid the first time I ever felt in your doorstep. Also got you letting me teach you how to skateboard,which was super cool” he started sounding a little bit more teenager-y. How old was he? 

“ I always wanted to skate, you just happened to have a skateboard”. The air in the room was decrisealing chaotic. What he did worked. 

“Oh, like we were the only two people here, I am so sorry; hi, I’m Inez, welcome home,Beatrice!” she turns to me, shaking my hand, with a relaxed smile on. 

“Thank you, you can call me Betty” He really softened the mood, the words even came out of my mouth normally. 

“Ok, sure. I was meant to be here earlier but I had a salon appointment. But you met the house mascot already,so that’s one thing out of the list”- she points at this skater, sitting on the sink- “ This is James, he’s around more than he should. Do you need help? with the boxes?” And then I remembered of my sisters, running loose around the house and my mom, probably on the car outside. 

“ My sisters and I got everything by the porch already, there aren’t many”

“Fine, I will just wrap up this skater’s arm in a band-Aid and then I’ll show you your room. Clem is your roommate. You are enrolled in political science too, right?”

“Yeah”

“Nice, I think you two will be quite a match then. James, get your board rolling outta here, you are done, you can stop scarring my new roomate. 

“ Thanks, ‘Nez” he hopped out of the sink. “ It was never my intention to scare you. Nice meeting you, Betty” he gives me a quiet smile, looking into my eyes just for a second before looking at the ground. He ran a little bit down the hallway, got on the skateboard and went out of sight. He had this boyish posture, stubborn, unaware of his own size. His broad shoulders moved along with his waist as he strolled away. It was nice meeting you,too,James.

[spidergidman]

Spidey and Felicia sitting in a tree...

The spectacular Spider-Man saves the day again, another fair battle with the notorious Goblin. Fair to say that the secret ego of Spider-Man was a young man, a geek who in his teen years just couldn’t catch a break from the high school bullies and failure to ask any girl out. That is of course until the young Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider that gave him extraordinary abilities. From saving the innocent to saving the city, Spider-Man is well known as the Underdog of Superheroes. Spider-Man was on his way home, the crowds cheering as he swung by with his webs. He landed on a derelict rooftop out of sight and took a deep breath. “This is getting tiring, beating up the bad guys and there never seems to be a reward” he thought. He dashed across the rooftops in his red and blue suit, scratched and marked from his fight with the Goblin. Spider-Man leaps to each building making his own way home, he eventually gets there and attaches one of his webs above a window. He slides down to his apartment with his muscular arm holding his weight. His strength let’s him dangle for a moment with no struggle, a light swing into the open window, landing with ease. He walks into his room clutching his side. He checks his bedroom, photos of him and his girlfriend Mary-Jane Watson sat by his bedside table. Mary-Jane was a top model, a red-haired wonder. Previously in her youth she was on the cheerleading team and she wowed all the boys with her moves. Now at 23 years old with such a career starting up for her, she rarely is ever home having such a busy schedule. Apparently she’s gone on a trip to L.A for a potential chance to be an actress for a big movie. “Oh, MJ, I could do with a hug right now”. Peter thought. Peter unmasks himself and stares at the mirror, his wounds already rapidly healing up from his battle earlier. In the slightest of moments he notices a figure that caught his eye. He turned around nothing was there. “Just your imagination Pete, besides any danger, my spider sense would go off”. Peter, can sense danger present with the ability of precognition. Helping him be aware of any risks. He hears a rustle, curious Peter wonders around his apartment, the bathroom, kitchen. Nothing. The place was clean, ever since Mary-Jane left this was the longest Peter had been without any superhero duties required. Time to get some rest. Peter slouched his shoulders and walked back to his silky covers of his bed. “Hey Spider.” “What!?” Peter turned to his couch where he saw her. In her full glossy black gear, sitting as if she had been binging an entire tv show for a week. “C..Cat?! How long have you been here!?” He asked, startled. “Relax Pete, I heard MJ was out of town so I thought I’d pop in for a visit.” She walked over to Peter, her body swaying side to side, Peter although surprised was sure she shouldn’t be here. “So why don’t you put that suit back on and we go for a little swing?” She asked. The infamous Black Cat and Spider-Man have always had a bit of history between each other, although the webbed hero would occasionally team up, they always had a bit of a flirtatious side. Last time they met was when she briefly worked for the Kingpin. The Black Cat always knew where Peter Parker lived, she would occasionally check in never ratted him out, she always had a soft spot for the web slinger. “Not right now Cat, didn’t you see what I’ve been up to tonight? I don’t ache nor am I hurt I just don’t feel that urge...that motivation. Nothing makes being a hero special. MJ isn’t even here, there’s just no reward.” “Poor little Spider. How long is MJ gone for?” “To be honest I’ve lost track of time.” Pete walked out of the room with the couch in and brushed past Black Cat. Her silver glamorous hair breezed a fresh smell to Peter’s nostrils. He closed his eyes as the luxurious distinct smell of this woman reminded him of their last encounter. “What are you really here for?” Black Cat stood up, the wind blew through the window gently swaying the fur on her collar, the pale shine from the moon reflecting off her Black skin tight catsuit. Her green eyes sparkled for such a question to be asked and she gave a teasing smile. “Perhaps I wanted to keep you company? No fame, no reward, well how about we change that? You must feel worthless at times, hey even your loving Mary-Jane isn’t hear to give our hero what he deserves.” She flicked the zipper holding her suit together, exactly like a bell on a collar. “Look Felicia, it’s not worth it I can-“ The Black Cat stopped his words as she leapt onto his mouth with her dark lips. Peter’s heart racing, he immediately pushed her off. “What was that!? I can’t do this!” “On the contrary Pete, I think it’s time you had some fun,” she glaringly gave him a smile as she walked into his bedroom. “You have a lovely place, shame with all these pictures.” Felicia held a photo of MJ and Peter, then put it face down, with all other pictures being the same. Felicia pounced on top of the bed. She took a few sniffs with her strong sense of smell she said, “there’s barely any scent on here. I would have thought the smell of you Spider would be stronger.” Felicia disturbed the fine appearance with her body as she rolled herself up in its soft covering. Peter started to sweat. He’s committed to MJ, but she’s been gone for some time now. But she’s an actress, she’s probably working or trying to find work with one of her agents. “Aw man!” He mumbles. He could hear Felicia enticing him to come in his own room with a gentle purr. He walked away from the room, thoughts in his head telling him to not give in. Shaking his head he was telling himself not to do anything he will regret. He turned around and noticed a trail of clothing items now on the floor. Felicia’s tall boots, her furred collars from her wrist. He stared at the floor slowly raising his head to see Felicia biting Mary Jane’s pearl necklace in nothing but her lingerie and her eye mask. Felicia winked at him and waved her finger. Peter found he had unwillingly made it to the end of the bed, Felicia’s great big jewel eyes invited him to come closer. Felicia transitioned from her back onto all fours and like a feline animal crawled over to him, she put her hand under his chin and pulled him in for another gasping kiss. Peter just hit the jackpot again.

[awed-frog]

in which caesar doesn’t do anything much and all the women are named julia

[Hi, this is me stanning Adrian Goldsworthy’s biography of Caesar. I studied Classics, but not this period, so all I can contribute here are squeals of delight, a few mistakes and the occasional witty comment. If you’d like to know more, please buy the book - it’s really good and a fun read.]

PART 2

The thing is - there’s a lot of boring relevant political stuff going on in this chapter, but I’m mostly fascinated by the glimpses we get into the world of Roman women. 

As I said, this is not really my area, so I know random, unconnected facts about how life was like for them; also it doesn’t make much sense to talk about ‘Roman women’, because, as a reminder, ‘Rome’ stretches from the 14th century BC to the 14th century AD, came to include dozens of very different regions, and obviously was home to an incredibly diverse population. And if we’re talking about the late Republican / imperial aristocracy, there’s a sharp divide anyway: on the one hand, the ‘ideal woman’ is the same old model we’re all used to and heard about (silent, obedient, virtuous, chaste, a perfect mother and so on), but on the other, Roman noblewomen had a lot more freedom than, say, their Greek counterparts, so there was usually some political scheming going on - something that in Greece was reserved to a handful of very well-placed courtesans. 

(In this sense, think about the contrast between Lucretia, the mythological wife of Collatinus, whose fridging created the Republic, and Agrippina, mother of Nero, empress and all-round badass bitch.)

Anyway, this chapter made me think about women because it starts with Caesar being born and getting his name - it’s sort of an urban legend, btw, that every single Roman had three names: that was just for the Moste Noblest - and how Goldsworthy casually mentions that, unlike men, women of noble birth would just take their family surname as first name. In Caesar’s family, for instance, all the women were named Julia.

(As a reminder: his given name was Caius, then ‘Julius’ identified the tribe, and finally ‘Caesar’ was a nickname that was possibly given to his grandfather for something elephant-related. 

People whose grandfathers did not do elephant-related stuff generally never enjoyed the prestige of a funny nickname passed down through the generations.)

So it’s bad enough that twins might be named ‘Peter and Not-Peter’ or ‘Peter and Twin’, but imagine going to the park with your buggy and meeting your old friend Oldest She-Jones (daughter of Ferdinand Jones), now married to George David Taylor, and her five kids - Louis David Taylor, She-Taylor, She-Taylor the Second, She-Taylor the Third and She-Taylor Born on Christmas. So damn cute, and also the reason why the Romans never developed smartphones or social media - how the hell are you supposed to find someone on Vultocodex when every single cousin and aunt has the exact same name?

Poor management, that is.

But anyway - as I said, there’s a dissonance here because women being treated like garbage (like, not given normal names and married off at fourteen) also led to the very peculiar phenomenon: generations of (male) politicians and VIPs being raised by very forceful, strong, and ambitious (widowed) mothers. Because if you count old age, wars, trampolining injuries (let’s be honest, men have always been obsessed with attempting dangerous stunts just for the fun of it) and the general risks of Roman politics, it was very usual for a noble kid to not even remember his father at all.

(Nero is a good example of how weird and all-consuming this boy-mother relationship could become - there’s entire books about it, but I’d point 16-and-over readers to Suetonius’ Life of Nero for details.

Keep in mind 95% of it is propaganda because Suetonius hated Nero, but still. HBO-worthy stuff in there.)

All this to say - we know that Caesar had a very close relationship with his mom (named ‘Aurelia’ because - you guessed it - she came from the Aurelii family), who was a near perfect figure of virtue, intelligence, beauty and common sense. Very powerful in her own right, Aurelia raised Caesar basically on her own, because her (much older) husband was either away at war or dead for most of their marriage.

Aside from drinking in Aurelia’s wisdom, Caesar’s education also included the normal lessons noble Roman boys were required to learn: self-worth, narcissism, delusional manias, rhetoric, martial arts, horse-riding, and writing really bad fanfiction based on Greek myths.

And now for the MEANWHILE part.

(I have no idea why this gif was tagged ‘meanwhile’, but I’m not enough of an idiot to let it go to waste, so.)

Meanwhile, all sort of messes were going on.

As I’m sure you remember, at some point the consul was Marius - Caesar’s uncle and a military genius, but not much of a politician. His negotiation tactic of choice was secretly inviting groups of unconnected people to his house on the same night, serving them dinner in two separate rooms so they wouldn’t see one another and try to work out some kind of agreement between them. Whenever a new point came up, Marius would say he had diarrhoea, pretend to run to the bathroom and instead sit down with the second group and see what they thought about the first group’s proposal.

(Isn’t ancient Rome magnificent?)

A big problem Marius had to deal with was how to grant citizenship to the allied tribes in Italy without pissing off current citizens. Basically no one wanted these other guys to be given new rights, but since they supplied more than half the soldiers of the Roman army and got nothing in return, their patience was running a bit thin. At some point, Roman bureaucrats started to erase foreign-born citizens from their lists claiming they were not actual citizens (something so openly dishonest NO OTHER GOVERNMENT would EVER attempt it again), and next yet another tribune working on a citizenship reform was stabbed to death in the street. 

So the allies went to war. 

(This war, confusingly, is known as the Social War, because ‘socius’ means ‘ally’ in Latin.)

As you can imagine, it was a disaster. Most of the allied communities had been part of the Roman republic for I don’t want to check but let’s say decades, they lived side by side with Roman families and fought in the same wars, so it was more of a civil war than anything else. Some tribes chose to remain faithful to Rome, others didn’t. Lots of people died.

Caesar was too young to be a soldier, but this was Cicero’s first taste of war (bet you never thought of that weaselly weasel as a soldier, uh? appearances can be deceiving, folks!). Marius was also involved, but since he was old as shit and had famously weak and leaky guts (hahahhaha), he mostly stayed out of active combat, which wasn’t all that normal for a Roman general. In the end, the whole of Italy, down to defeated tribes, cows, dogs and random patches of mossy rocks, was granted citizenship and everyone went home. Their votes, however, were inserted in the system in such a way that they didn’t count much. 

On the whole, the one winner of this war was Lucius Cornelius Sulla, one of the military commanders, who became a consul soon after.

Another war, because this is Rome and Romans were dicks, but! this one was in the East, which means every single soldier would get super rich and also! wars in the East were considered easy because *insert racist trope here* and! Sulla had been promised that, as the big winner of the Social War, he could go there with his legions and basically enjoy this Disneyland of golden cups and ultraviolence but! at the last moment, Marius, who never liked Sulla much, managed to snatch the commandership from him, which! was completely legal but also *insert outraged emoji* and wait for it! instead of going gentle into the good night, Sulla made a fiery speech to his soldiers all like GUESS WHAT FOLKS WE’RE STUCK HERE SCRATCHING OUR TESTICULI AND THOSE IDIOTS FROM THE 25TH ARE TAKING YOUR GOLD AND YOUR UNWILLING WOMEN and! Sulla’s entire army marched! on! the! city! of! Rome!

It was the first time a Roman army had ever invaded Rome. Nobody was expecting it, and people panicked. Sulla’s men won easily, burned down some buildings, killed some people, generally had a great time; and then Sulla announced a bounty for anyone who’d disembowel his political enemies (including Marius) because he didn’t have time to go to Braavos and learn how to do it himself (remember, he still had his war waiting for him in the East).

(This turned out to be a success, btw. One guy was even killed by his slave - Sulla gave him the promised reward, then shoved him off a mountain because duh, slave and “When I said ‘anyone’, I meant people, not IKEA furniture” and “Honestly”.)

As nobody could have imagined and/or predicted, as soon as Sulla left for Greece Weak Guts Marius came back with an army and took back the city, beheading his way to the Senate and leaving a trail of blood wherever he passed. As soon as he got there, however, he dropped dead - heart attack, trampolining, diarrhoea, who can tell - and the city was taken over by his second-in-command, Lucius Cornelius Cinna.

(Man, what a ride.)

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to know what Caesar was doing during this time.

Personally, I like to imagine him in Rome - a well-dressed, grey-eyed 15-year-old, freshly orphaned, horrified and exhilarated by the violence exploding all around him - I see him running down the streets, stopping to watch the corpses float in the dark waters of the Tiber, daring his friends to go and touch the severed heads nailed to the doors of the Senate; recognizing many of those heads as friends and colleagues of his father and uncle (passing a hesitant finger on the cold flesh, remembering how they’d once laughed and frowned and spoken about boring matters from the dais). 

The truth is, Caesar was just a kid. He was supposed to learn about the Republic, and his own role in making it great, by watching his elders. 

God knows what he actually learned, and what he thought, as he was passing through Rome’s paved streets, now shimmering with blood. 

PREVIOUS — NEXT

[dailytechnologynews]

The world is utterly unprepared for artificial intelligence in the near-term: "Media Synthesis", the phenomenon which includes deepfakes, is further along than almost anyone realizes and is prepared for, and this will result in a lot of fun and angst come the 2020s

I run the /r/MediaSynthesis subreddit, collecting links and discussions surrounding this technology. The other day, I asked /r/MachineLearning about a topic that I've been tossing about my head for almost a full decade now: when will we be able to use style transfer on audio reliably?

In the simplest possible terms, "style transfer" is when you make one thing like another using machine learning. You upload a picture of a sunny day as an input, upload a bunch of pictures of night time as variables, and then get the original picture but now it's night time. The algorithm didn't fetch a picture of the scene at a different time of day. It altered the very pixels, turning day into night.

Here's a few examples:

Color transfer

Video transfer, turning a street scene with trees into one with buildings or more trees, among other things

Musical transfer, changing instruments and genres.

All of which are from 2017 or 2018.

There's a lot more, and this includes deepfakes which I'm sure plenty of people are aware of. The potential of this technology over the next 5 years— and yes, I'm saying five years, not fifteen or twenty five or fifty— is going to lead to people with no skill in machine learning or artistry to be able to alter existing media almost completely as well as generate some kinds of new media.

Back specifically on the topic of audio style transfer, this includes being able to take a song, any song, and altering at your leisure in a variety of different ways ranging from adding or subtracting instruments, swapping the vocalist or removing them entirely, and perhaps even extending the song in an "intelligent" manner— meaning the algorithm can actually generate more sections of that song that didn't previously exist (within reason). You could turn any top 40 pop song into a 20-minute-long pop epic.

My classic desire is taking TLC's Waterfalls and turning it into a barbershop quartet, complete with the mustachioed men singing in tune with all the 1920s graininess you'd expect. Did you like Bohemian Rhapsody but could do without the heavy guitars? Why not transfer it into a polka song? That's indeed very possible. Covering songs in a different style is obviously a thing that you can already find on YouTube and "X Goes Pop" compilations whatnot, but that involves actual musicians and artists putting in the time and effort. We're not far away from having a theoretical "Audacity 2.0" where you could do the same thing with a few clicks of your mouse.

One of my more esoteric desires goes a step further, and it's also very much on the horizon. I love Witchfinder General, but they've always been a bit too amateurish. They were almost a great band, if only a few lyrics were changed and some instruments were tightened up. In the future, I could be able to "correct" these "mistakes", going in to change the lyrics myself so that Zeeb Parkes is singing something a bit different over a band that's even slower and doomier than they actually were. In some cases, that means adding lines where there weren't originally.

It would obviously still be a laborious process because vocals in songs can be complex and heavily individualized.

But that was only ever a problem for the old era of digital software, where things had to be cut up and easily able to fit into bits and pieces and then essentially standardized as if you're playing something on a synth. This new era is something entirely different and infinitely more capable. You couldn't replicate Bob Dylan's soul if you had his voice in a voice synthesis software program as might exist today.

There's no style nor soul that'll be beyond my fingers with the right neural networks.

For someone like me, who loves creating entire musical scenes and movements from playlists and imagination, that's a godsend. For an actual musician or any creative who prides themselves on their humanity, it sounds like the worst dystopia.

I'm not overselling this either. Audio is, fundamentally, a bunch of waves. If you can edit those waveforms, you can create any audio you wish. It's just that the way we edit those waveforms is usually by hitting drums, strumming guitars, pressing keyboards, and singing.

Of course, there are much darker applications of this technology. The very first thing to come to mind is putting words in someone else's mouth for political purposes, as can be demonstrated here:

Deepfakes on Obama, Putin, and others

Making Trump say new things

If the latter sounds too robotic, don't fret/relax. Making voices sound audiorealistic is just a matter of parameters and data, of which the likes of Google, Baidu, Facebook, OpenAI, and many others have no shortage. The crappy free text-to-speech programs you might find with a Google search or in a PDF file is as representative of the state of the art as a bottle rocket is of the military's explosive ordinance.

And that's literally just the tip of the iceberg. Just because I'm focusing on audio doesn't mean there's nothing for images and video, obviously. Just the opposite— everyone is so focused on deepfakes and image synthesis that we're overlooking audio synthesis.

It's not coming in stages, nor is it arriving slowly and at easily digestible and tolerable speeds as might be written in a shlock cyberpunk novel. We're not going to struggle with image synthesis for 20 years, then struggle with audio synthesis for 20 years, and so on until we reach a point in the distant future where you can't trust anything you see. We're developing them all simultaneously and seeing progress come at breakneck speeds, and we'll be well within that future this time next decade.

In fact, this time next decade we'll have entirely different zeitgeists when it comes to art, entertainment, and the news. There's no refuge in cartoons. Neural networks are in the early stages of learning how to do caricatures and exaggerations— the fundamental root of cartooning. Others can generate short animations from text alone. Even more can be used to remaster old video games and create games from scratch.

And no, you can't find refuge in writing either. Scarily enough, it's the text synthesis network that shows the most signs of general intelligence. It's not AGI by far, but it's most general AI ever created and it isn't even a very complex machine at that. But it's apparently too dangerous to be released.

If you have a passion for all of this and create art for art's sake or are willing to accept fewer (but likely much higher paid) commissions rather than a "career" as we understand it to be, you're fine. If you're someone who wants to become a career artist/model/voice actor/musician/animator/writer/comic artist/newscaster and expect to find consistent work for the next 50 years, (first, good luck regardless) make these next five to ten years count and/or try considering jumping into the former category.

We don't need AGI for any of this either, so don't think that we have to wait until we "solve intelligence" to see any of this. Nor should you expect it to cost a fortune to use. We only need GANs and most of this tech is open source.

The final and most sobering realization of all this is the cold fact that, ironically contrary to all those predictions of how automation would unfold, entertainment and the arts will be the first field to go. Everyone said that all the drudgery of the world would be automated first, freeing up workers to pursue the arts because "a machine could never write a poem, pen a song, or paint a work of art".

This is something so stupefyingly far from public conscious that there is virtually nothing being done or said about it. You might initially think that it doesn't warrant much discussion until it actually arrives, but when you really start looking at this in-depth, you have a tendency to grow a bit fatalistic. One of my future-shock angsts is about schooling and how public and private schools in their current form are utterly unable to prepare children for the future into which they will graduate (a future in which school itself may become obsolete because there will be little point for it besides social functions and raw education, which isn't what American schooling is for). This is related, but a bit different.

We have a technology that didn't exist 10 years ago and yet will almost certainly upend the entire entertainment industry within 10 years from now. Photoshops and photo manipulation, "dumbfakes" if you will, weren't even a pre-meal mint, let alone the appetizer. We ought to be having a dialog on this, but we aren't.

Many of us refuse to believe it exists at all, that it's just some schizophrenic pipe dreams found on /r/Futurology and /r/Singularity. Others so desperately want to leave a place for humans that they will deny that machines will be able to do these things competently despite being shown the evidence. And those who accept it can only say "So what?" Even though I eagerly await a world where I could generate a multimedia franchise (and the global reaction) in my bedroom on my laptop, there are still pertinent risks.

As /u/ksblur said:

Strange how we live in a world of trust-based security. It would be relatively easy for cryptography to solve that issue (your phone could automatically reject calls without proper signatures or encryption), but people grew up "trusting" the systems so there's not a lot of incentive to change it.

Could you imagine inventing the telephone in 2019 and either A) not encrypting the data (landlines) or B) using weak 64bit A5/1 encryption (GSM)?*

TLDR Skynet wants to become a singer and artist, and Dad (i.e. Humans) doesn't realize it yet.

[razieltwelve]

Character Design: Part 1 (Introduction)

Today, I’d like to discuss character design. I guess the question on everyone’s lips is: what is the best way to design interesting and engaging characters? The answer is that there isn’t an objectively best way. Each writer has their own approach, and some approaches will work better for some people than for others. If an approach doesn’t suit you, the best course of action may be to keep trying different approaches until you find one that does suit you.

That said, in this series of posts, I will be going over one approach to character design that I’ve found useful.

The Five-Fold Approach

I’ve found that if often helps to consider five different areas when it comes to character design. The aim is to develop an interesting and engaging character by developing a solid grasp of the character across all five areas. These areas are:

Looks, appearance, and mannerisms

Personality

Intelligence

Other abilities

History

Looks, Appearance, and Mannerisms

For many people, this will be the easiest area to flesh out. Essentially, it boils down to what your character looks like. This extends beyond their physical features to the clothes they wear and even the way they carry themselves. In other words, it covers all of the visual cues that other people would perceive when looking at your character.

Here is a brief list of things that you might want to consider:

Physical appearance

Eye colour (e.g., blue or dark brown)

Hair colour (e.g., long or short, black or blond)

Height (e.g., tall or shot)

Build (e.g., skinny or stout)

Distinguishing features (e.g., scars, tattoos, etc.)

Clothing

Upper body (e.g., shirt or tunic)

Lower body (e.g., trousers or shorts)

Footwear (e.g., shoes, boots, or sandals)

Other accessories (e.g., glasses, hats, gloves, etc.)

Mannerisms

Posture (e.g., slouching or standing up straight)

Walking style (e.g., slow, measured walk vs a quick, determined stride)

Facial expressions (e.g., a tendency to scowl or a tendency to smile a lot)

Verbal tendencies (e.g., speaking overly quickly or loudly, stuttering, etc.)

Eye contact (e.g., avoiding or meeting the eyes of others)

Remember, you don’t have to go into too much detail when describing a character’s appearance. Let the reader build their own image of the character in their mind, albeit one shaped by the most important features of the character.

It’s also important to remember that visual cues can and will be interpreted in certain ways. A powerfully built character who gets right into the faces of other people will be perceived as pushy and aggressive. A character who slouches all the time and refuses to make eye contact may be perceived as timid or withdrawn.

Personality

Personality is about how someone thinks, feels, and behaves. Given the background that I come from, I’ve often conceptualised the personality of characters using the Big Five Personality Theory. The theory posits five major groups of personality traits:

Openness to experience. This is basically how open to new experiences someone is. Someone who is rated highly on it will generally be imaginative, original, daring, and will seek out variety over fixed routines.

Conscientiousness. A character who rates highly on conscientiousness will typically be hardworking, persevering, energetic, and likely to plan things in advance.

Extroversion. Someone who rates highly on extroversion is likely to be sociable, fun-loving, affectionate, friendly, and will be energised by social activity.

Agreeableness. This is to do with getting along with others. People who rate highly on agreeableness are often kind, sympathetic, and disposed toward charity, volunteer work, and other pro-social behaviour.

Neuroticism. This is basically about emotional stability. Someone who rates highly on it will tend to worry a lot, be temperamental, self-conscious, and insecure.

As you can imagine, situating your character on all five of these dimensions should give you a fairly good idea of their personality and how they are likely to react in a given situation. There are, of course, other models of personality. Rather than argue about their validity and reliability here, I will simply say that you should use whichever model helps you structure your thoughts best since the objective is to create an interesting and engaging character, not to create a valid and reliable model of personality (let’s leave that to the psychologists).

Intelligence

This shouldn’t need too much of an explanation. Your character’s intelligence is all about the intellectual weaponry they can bring to bear against the challenges they face. However, intelligence can be a tricky thing. People can be very good at one thing and quite poor at another (e.g., someone might excel with numbers but be hopeless when it comes to writing essays).

Here are some of the dimensions along which characters might vary in terms of their intelligence:

Short-term memory

Long-term memory

Visuospatial ability (i.e., how well they deal with visual and spatial information)

Knowledge (i.e., how much knowledge they’ve accumulated and how good they are at using it)

Learning and adaptation (i.e., how quickly they can learn and adapt to novel situations)

Problem solving (i.e., how adept they are at solving problems)

Processing speed (i.e., how quickly they can process information)

Listening skills (i.e., how good they are at interpreting and using auditory information)

Again, these are just some of the facets of intelligence, and you can’t simply declare that a character has excellent short-term memory. You need to put these abilities into context and give readers reasons to believe that character possess the abilities they do. For instance, if you want readers to believe that a character has an excellent memory in a world with magic in it, you could have the character memorise an entire book of spells in an extremely short period of time.

Other Abilities

This area is a grab bag of all the different abilities that your character might have. These can vary wildly depending on the genre and setting that you’re using.

Consider a spy thriller. Your main character might have the following abilities:

Expert marksman

Multilingual

Excellent computer hacker

Good at stealth and infiltration

In contrast, if you’re writing a fantasy novel, your character might have abilities like:

Elite swordsman

Master of ice magic

Can read ancient runes

Can transform into a dragon

One of the most important things to realise is that the abilities your character has will strongly influence the actions that they take. If someone is an expert swordsman, then they might try to fight their way out of a situation. However, if they’re an expert negotiator or someone who can control the minds of others, they might opt for a less bloody approach.

Always keep in mind what abilities your character has and how they might influence their actions. More importantly, try to develop a solid enough grasp of your character’s abilities that you can imagine how they would react or use their abilities in a diverse array of situations.

History

This is all about your character’s past – where they’ve come from and how it has influence them. Some of the things you should definitely establish, at least for yourself if not immediately for the readers (keeping them in suspense can be a good thing), are:

Family and friends

Upbringing

Pivotal events

Schooling/education/training

For many people, their family and friends will be the biggest influence on them. Does your character have brothers or sisters? If so, how do they feel about them? Did they have a best friend as a child? If they did, did that friendship last into adulthood? If not, why did it fail? If you want to create an in-depth, engaging character, you need to be able to answer questions like this.

Similarly, what sort of upbringing did your character have? Someone who was raised by both of their parents in a wealthy household will obviously see the world quite differently from someone who scratched out a living as an orphan on the back streets of a dingy city. Understanding your character’s upbringing will help you to understand how they see the world and what they may want in the future.

It is also critical to make a note of any pivotal events in your character’s life. For instance, if someone lived in a city that was burned to the ground during a brutal war, this is likely to influence their behaviour and views later on. Likewise, if someone found themselves stranded in the wilderness as a child and was forced to fend off wild beasts and survive alone for several months, that too will influence them in the future. In many ways, life is a series of milestones. You need to know what the biggest ones in your character’s life were.

The schooling, education, and other training that a character receives can also prove to be enormously influential. First of all, was your character schooled at all? In many scenarios (e.g., fantasy settings), it may not be common for everyone to be literate. Knowing how to read would thus be a powerful advantage. If they have been schooled, did they pursue further studies? In a fantasy setting, this might mean going to a magical academy. In a more realistic setting, it might mean a normal university, or, in the case of a soldier, a military academy. In all of these examples, the schooling, education, and training that a character has received will undoubtedly influence not only their views but also their abilities and even their intelligence and personality.

To know where someone is going, look to where they have been. To understand where your character is going, you have to understand where they have been and where they’ve come from.

Summary

Designing interesting and engaging characters isn’t always easy. It can take a lot of time and effort. However, you can often make your life easier by making use of a mental scaffold to help structure your thoughts and direct your energy. If you’re not sure what to do, then think of the five areas outlined above:

Looks, appearance, and mannerisms

Personality

Intelligence

Other abilities

History

If you can honestly say that you’ve got a thorough understanding of your character in all five areas, then you’re well on your way to creating a great character.

If you want to read more about my thoughts on writing, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find here.

[trad-masculine]

*Experiential Running*

Stumbled across a post about running while browsing Romance Tumblr & commented on it. This got me to thinking about running in longer form. Then went for a run, very deep in a new frame of Beginners Mind.

Running is such an unconscious habit that I'd never considered it from my regular depth of thinking. Not in application, not in practice. Prior to this run all my previous running was done, not lived in, so here are the Inspired Conclusions of my latest run.

Appreciation to @apieceofheart

*

Running is a small bit of inborn human magic. We, as a species, are arguably the best distance runners on the planet, but in our current world only a few of us ever find the path that leads to an unending rundown. The flow, running as if floating, Runners Zen, the elusive High.

*

I was a high-school endurance athlete. Running & swimming, mostly I was a swimmer with brutal cardio that could overwhelm nearly any runner who wasn't a distance specialist. I know the flow mostly from long swims, but I've touched it running in my youth. The full flow in running is uniquely profound.

By the end of high-school I pushed myself until physiological collapse, mounting injury meant I couldn't practice for much of my senior year building up to state competition. I just missed the podeum.

After graduation I was quite damaged & basic recovery took a while. I'm still haunted by some of those injuries to this day, especially after a back injury in my early 20s unraveled my body to the point of chronic pain.

From the struggle of healing that injury I've rebuilt a lot of my body from scratch. Studied a lot in the realm of health & fitness, from massage to Eastern traditions to the technical science & cutting edge research. Learned a lot about how people think & teach about how the body works, and observed a lot about how my own body didn't work then transitioning into working again.

From that process I've concluded a lot about what is wrong in our cultural model of fitness, and what is wrong with how people think & talk about fitness. I've been playing around with how to communicate that understanding, and how to bootstrap a superior default model for fitness.

*

The foundational understanding is that the nature of your body is to connect to you, and teach you how to move. The deeper inside your body you are, the more intune, the more elegant & effortless your movements will be. Seek deeper more interconnected more fully embodied movements that flow seemlessly, gracefully.

*

Go run!

Running for humans is a type of walking that dreams of flying.

For all our four legged brethern, running is a rapid series of jump-breaths. On four legs one can walk or trot without jump-breaths, & canter or gallop with jump-breaths. While only walking lacks a moment of suspension; flight, trot is separate from canter & gallop in its absence of a jump-breath in the torso engagement. Our form of running is closest to a trot, as our breathing is separate from the mechanic of running. We can however skip, which is somewhat closer to our own form of a jump-breath gate in movement. Nearest to a canter, but quite unique as a movement.

It's possible in swimming to mimick a gallop stroke in freestyle, really excellent for flow at distance. Butterfly is a near perfect replication of jump-breath movement, & either beautiful or miserable depending on whether you find the flow of it or not.

Most humans I see move with a broken gait. They have a hitch in their step, a catch in their stride. A lack of flow. Evidence of imbalances, loss of right posture & evidence of effortful movement. Flow overcomes that constraint. Flow is healing & rebalancing. Freestyle Dance is perhaps the most famous movement practice for finding flow, but flow through movement is the deepest goal for all movement practice.

Flow is King.

*

When most people shift from walking to running they drop the walk and then pick up a run. It's an effortful transition, one that blocks off the flow of running. Continuing the run requires a constant push of force & effort to maintain it.

This we'll call jogging. A bouncy run that sends shuttering impact through the body with each step, short strides, afraid of going fast, under the illusion that faster means more experience of effort. Fitness running, "health" running, weight loss & cardio running. A terrible blight upon our streets & upon our feet up through our entire body, hips spine and brain. This kind of running is neurologically stressful as well, further exhausting the brain with the demands of effortful action.

Jogging is doing harm, with likelihood of injury, & makes the joy of running an experience only a few people ever access, to the point many people imagine they aren't meant to run. The tradition of running is broken by a dysfunctional paradigm of fitness.

We need a different paradigm of running & fitness. accessible to everyone, built on rightful understanding of the body, mind & movement. Centered on gaining access to Flow.

*

Counterintuitively, the best place to discover flow is coming off of a sprint. Flow is not effortful, yet a sprint is an outpouring of effort. In nature, all runs begin at a sprint, The Chase. So Flow comes most naturally off of a sprint. This is an obvious truth I know from experience, but one that I discovered was challenging in current practice, due to my lingering injuries.

While playing around with this conception in my run I had discovered that the transition from walk to sprint as far too harsh. More brutal lifting effort to a sprint than to a jog, it was a more aggressive blocking of flow. I needed a very different approach to regaining movement, to running as practice, & as a healing process.

Pause. Laugh.

Now. Fully open. Delve into the play aspect; mixing the experience of open flow in dance with the mechanics of running. Bounding into running like a long jumper, skip into sprinting like a child on a sidewalk. It was a form of speedplay but really it was movementplay I was engaged in for my Fartlek.

Making the transition from walk to run as clean as possible. Never dropping walking, never picking up running, but bounding up to running & floating back down to walking. This kind of unpracticed and explosive movement was far more energetically taxing, more time spent recovering breath at a walk. But it was very absent effort & huge fun!

*

With this experience of returning home, rediscovering flow in running, I wanted to share something of a protocol for breaking from effort & reconnecting flow inner flow & deep running. Better running. Rightful Running.

**

Experiential Running Protocol

**

*Warmup*

Lunges, exhale down, inhale up.

Knee tucks with a free torso. Exhale to tuck, inhale to upright.

Deep squats. Down exhale hand touch to arms overhead inhale standing. Built to an open jump or two after several clean reps.

Jump tucks. Snappy breathing. Really squeeze through the core on the tuck. Aim to land with grace.

*

Start the run with a walk. Walk comfortably, focusing attention on smoothness and calmness throughout your body.

Drift into a faster walk & back down to a normal pace. Drift back up to a fast walk & press it until you are at the edge of needed to run & back down.

Pause.

*Flow Running: Drifting Practice.*

Start at a very slow walk, each footstep is purposeful but as light as possible. Walk from your hips, loose movement outward from your center of mass. Drift to normal pace with the same focus. Drift up to the edge of running & push past it at a walk, speed walk.

Drift down to normal again. Drift up to to the edge of running, going into a speedwalk. While drifting back down from the speedwalk shift to a run as cleanly as you can. Try to avoid picking up effort. (Technically a speedwalk is more effort than an equivalently paced run, try to find the feeling of that in your transition.)

Repeat. Play with those transitions a few times. Make them as clean as you can.

Pause.

*Flow Running: Explosion-Dance Running*

Start to walk. Bring a dancingness into your walk. Dance a bit while you walk if you feel it!

Shift from from Dance-Walking into a full Bounding Skip. Smile, & maybe even laugh at yourself because you might look & probably feel a bit silly. (Without passing through some self-consciousness to uncap self-repression it's tricky to get into flow. So don't block yourself off here. Feeling silly & laughing at yourself not necessarily required, smiling might be, however.)

Carry the rhythm of the skip over into the bounding run of a long jumper's routine. Form a wide stance springing off of each leg, then shift into a full sprint dashing forward with full effort for a few footfalls.

Drift off from the sprint smoothly & slowly until you return to a walking pace. Seeking a sense of easy flow during the drift. Settle into an easy flow for a bit if you find it. Open your awareness as you do.

Pause.

Repeat comfortably until your sprint feels as if it is missing maximal effort. You've now discharged your fast twitch for a while, time to rest, relax eat protein & feel like a badass who did an energetic & deep workout.

*

Carry the flow after the run & have an awesome day!

**

I find there is a deeply buried conflict in modern people around movement & social judgement & physical & psychological repression.

Running for a lot of people is a very harsh judge of fitness. Everyone can watch you not be as athletic as you aspire to be. Much of how many beginners run is molded by running in ways that avoid this feeling of judgement. This usually looks like running at a very slow pace for long enough that no random bystander knows how far you've been running constantly for. To stop running is a kind of defeat that feels shameful.

Runners, as a coach might define them don't run this way often. Most running practice is a mix of technical drills & Fartlek like envelope pushing mixed with a relaxed pace. Runners, as defined in the more spiritual sense; flow seekers, are usually of good fitness. Rarely will they face self-doubt, regardless, as they run for its own sake. It's the everyone else of running, the rest of us; seeking health, looking good, rebuilding from injury or trauma, running to impress the world, this is where the difficulty lies. Usually we're already running to some extent because of a judgement we've made of ourselves. Almost certainly we begin because of this.

A knot of shame & tension trying to unravel, pounding across the ground. Running becomes a battle, against both self & the world. That is a lot of weight to carry. No wonder running is such a difficult effort for us.

*

I don't like this approach. It's miserable.

So I substitute an alternate model of running.

Running as playfulness.

With playfulness in mind, here are some ways to add playfulness to the social aspect of running. Dour adulthood is miserable, so reject it.

*

*Sprint past people out walking to stunt on them. Woosh, try to make them feel your wind!

*Make like you're on your marks, then expload into skipping before shifting to bounding & sprinting. Be intentionally silly.

*Finish a sprint into dance moves. Yea, you Are that cool!

*Wear headphones obvious enough to make dancing not just part of what you're doing, but fully necessary. Else you look foolish.

*run on a beach. Any kind of running on a beach is inharently more playful. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

*run in drop crotch pants & dance more so the running is more an interruption to dancing. Then your main focus.

*while running look furtivy behind you, see if you can catch someone looking for what is "chasing" you. Have a friendly giggle.

*Run while holding a hat onto your head. Whew are you so fast.

*run with silk streamers & such tied to your body. Run fast enough they stretch out. Be a human flag.

*for girls, walk like it's a runway. With sass.

*for guys, walk like you're entering the arena full of adoring fans. With swagger.

*have a smile on your face, enjoy yourself. Be silly, run, be awesome.

[jordanwinchesterimagines]

Ten Years in Waiting Epilogue Part One

Hey all! So, I’ve been working on my Sastiel fic for awhile and I just needed to take a break and give Dean some serious fluffy goodness. This is going to be several little mini scenes that span over several months, sometimes even more. I just wanted to get out all of the little ideas that I had for the two love birds and their family. This is Post one of two. A quick shout out to @dean-the-smol-bean for helping me with this and my sastiel fic. I don’t think I could have have the motivation and drive to do this without her support. Love you LUNA, YOU ARE THE BEST. 

If you have not read my Ten Years in Waiting You can find the links below. These people were on the list to be tagged in the original series so I tagged them here as well. @supernatualtookover @spn--fics @supernatural-x-reader-imagines @caitsymichelle13 Happy reading, and as always... Jordan loves you! 

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven 

The last ten months had been a complete whirlwind full of catching up on missed time, a lot of laughter, and in the last few weeks especially… boxes. So many boxes. About a month ago, you and Dean had been able to close on a house in Kansas, only a short drive from the bunker, or as he called it ‘the batcave’. It had been a hard decision, leaving behind the life you had built for yourself and for your daughter, but now that you had Dean, you had the opportunity to build something new, something better. At first he had suggested that you and Emily move into the bunker, but you weren’t too keen on that idea. From the sound of it, it wasn’t the best place for a kid to stay long term, and although you appreciated that it was ‘safest’ you had suggested a house close by. This way, Dean and Sam could operate out of the bunker and still be home for dinner. You knew it would be difficult to find the right balance, that it would take a lot of patience and communication, but it was important that Dean be able to ‘scratch the itch’ so to speak. Hunting was what he loved, and you knew that he would go stir crazy without. Sam had insisted on staying in the bunker, stating that he wanted to give your new family some space, but deep down you thought that was just a cover. He was probably looking forward to having the place to himself, with no big brother breathing down his neck. Whatever the reason, you were glad he was going to be close. He and Emily had quite the uncle-niece relationship and you weren’t sure how your daughter would tolerate a large distance. So here you were on move in day unpacking the kitchen with Emily, who was handing you plates from a nearby box. Dean entered the room, carrying the last of the boxes marked ‘kitchen’ as you were bending down to open the next box of dishes.

“Woah there, you don’t need to be doing that.” He said, making his way across the open space and taking the knife you were using from your hands. “You should be resting, I can take care of this.” You huffed in frustration.

“Dean, I’m pregnant not dying…” you slowly straightened, resting a hand on the counter for support.  “I’m perfectly capable of unpacking” you remarked, breathing heavily and rubbing your very swollen stomach.

“I get that but... you're REALLY pregnant…” He started, cautiously. You huffed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You challenged. To your side, Emily looked back and forth between you and Dean, eyes wide. She gave Dean a warning look, which he picked up on without hesitation.

“It means, you’re a beautiful queen.” Dean said, although his nervousness made it sound more like a question. You waited a moment before you responded, wanting him to stay scared a few moments longer. You weren’t mad at him at all, you just wanted to prove a tiny point. He had been trying to get you to take it easy for weeks, but you had no intention of doing that. In your first pregnancy, you had been alone and that only proved that you were capable. In all honesty, his actions were a bit annoying but you were thankful for them and you recognized that this was his first time going through all of this. Still, it was fun messing with him.

“Good save, Winchester.” You said, leaning across the small space between you and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Although, I know a way you can make it up to me.” He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows in your direction.

“And what’s that?” he asked, excitedly. Moving closer you positioned yourself with your mouth against his ear, your breath ghosting over his skin, giving him goosebumps.

“Ice Cream”

…..

“You’re doing great (Y/N), just a few more pushes!” You whined, throwing your head back in frustration. The doctor had said the exact same thing 20 minutes ago, and you were beginning to think that you were never going to have this baby. You felt a coolness on your forehead and opened your eyes to see a very shaky hand raking a damp towel over your  sweat covered skin. Bless Dean, he had been a trooper this entire time despite his obvious panic. He had been wonderful, bringing you ice chips, rubbing your back, and walking up and down the hospital halls. You were able to give him a half smile before you felt the need to push again. Leaning forward, you brought your chin to your chest, pushing with all the strength you could muster. “That’s it! Here comes the head!” Dean shifted next to you, craning his neck in an attempt to see. Not even a second later he was retreating back to his spot near your head, a paleness now on his face. Normally this would have made you laugh but you were focused on the task at hand. With a regenerated sense of purpose, you focused all of your energy on the next push, determined for it to be your last. You were rewarded a moment later when you heard a small cry fill the room. “It’s a boy!” Before you could process anything else, your son was placed on your chest and you reached out to hold him, happy sobs escaping your throat. He was small and perfect, having all ten fingers and toes, and a full head of hair. You looked over to Dean, not expecting the wetness on his cheeks, the sight of his son in your arms making him shed happy tears. 

“We have a son.” you said, placing a hand on his arm, tears in your eyes. He leaned closer, putting a hand on your son’s head, rubbing it gently with his thumb. He turned to give you a kiss, thankful for another perfect addition to your family.

Sam brought Emily in a few hours later, seeing as she was fast asleep in the waiting room during the main event. Knowing how grumpy she tended to be when she was woken up (much like her father) you thought it would be best to wait until she woke up on her own. She approached the bed slowly, eyes scanning the room for the baby. Dean crossed the room and took her by the hand, leading her the rest of the way until the two of them were standing next to you. “Em meet your brother, David.” She smiled, placing a hand on his blanket.

“Hi David” she said, almost at a whisper. In his blanket, David yawned before curling up in the soft fabric and going back to sleep.

“Do you want to hold him?” Her eyes widened, looking to Dean for an answer. He nodded, helping her up onto the bed so she was settled next to you. After Dean placed a pillow on her lap, you placed him in her arms, allowing the pillow to do most of the work. Across the room, Sam and Dean watched as Emily talked to her little brother.

“I promise to be the best big sister, okay? I won’t let anything bad happen to you, ever.” Sam chuckled.

“Sounds familiar.” he said, nudging Dean in the side. Dean shook his head at his younger brother and scoffed.

“Don’t get all mushy on me, dude. You lucked out and you know it.” he teased. Sam placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, Dean. I did.” Dean rolled his eyes, a faint attempt of hiding the emotion on his face. He coughed, trying to weasel himself out of the touching moment. Sam knew his brother well enough to know when to pull his hand back and change the subject. “ So you settled on David?” Dead nodded.

“Her dad’s name. She was really close with her him, we figured that we would keep the name going.”

“That’s awesome.” Sam laughed. “ You know? I half expected you to go with John.”

“Nah. She wanted the first name, so I got the middle name. Besides John wasn’t exactly the role model I wanted my son to be named after.”

“Bobby?”

“Nope. Although it was a contender” Dean motioned to the small table to his side where your son’s birth certificate lay out ready to be signed. Sam picked up the paper and stared, completely in shock. David Samuel Winchester. He looked up at Dean who was smiling like a cheshire cat, obviously trying to laugh.

“Samuel? You gave him my name?” Sam asked, voice cracking. “You know this is a total chick flick moment, right?”

“Oh shut up, or I’m changing it to Garth.” he threatened, before reaching out and pulling his little brother in a hug.

[creativesage]

(via Shenzhen: How China's Silicon Valley Went from Counterfeiting to Innovating — CNN)

By Matt Rivers, CNN Business

Shenzhen, China — At the Huaqiangbei Market in Shenzhen, you can build a smartphone from scratch in a couple of hours.

Spread over several floors and covering hundreds of thousands of square feet, the market is home to vendors selling the parts that make up your standard phone — cameras, motherboards, frames, screens and so on. All you have to do is buy the right bits and know how to put them all together. And it's not just smartphones. You can find the parts here for almost any consumer electronics device you can think of, like portable power banks and drones. 

     To be sure, there is copycatting going on here. The designs of Apple (AAPL) or Samsung devices are regularly ripped off. Intellectual property rights, one of the US government's biggest bugbears with China, are nonexistent. But there's invention at work, too. Some people are trying to use the parts to come up with new and improved versions of existing gadgets. The whirling, chaotic market highlights how innovation sometimes works in China. Experts say viewing the country as just a vast manufacturing base for products designed by foreign companies is outdated and misguided.

"There's a ton of innovations at a huge scale that are happening in China," said Christian Grewell, a business professor at NYU Shanghai. "They are just happening very, very quickly and without the knowledge of the rest of us."

He pointed to how smartphone maker Xiaomi has updated its software based on user feedback, and China's rapid adoption of digital payments through Tencent's (TCEHY) WeChat app and Ant Financial's Alipay. 

         Hardware hubOnce a tiny fishing village in the shadow of nearby Hong Kong, Shenzhen is now a glittering metropolis of more than 12 million people. Along with other cities spread across Southern China's Pearl River Delta, it rose to prominence in the 80s and 90s as the world's factory floor, pumping out boatloads of industrial and consumer products. But today it's also widely known as China's answer to Silicon Valley, the home of tech giants like Tencent and Huawei.Shenzhen has become a magnet for ambitious young entrepreneurs seeking to take advantage of the city's position at the heart of global tech supply chains. It has produced startups like DJI, the world's top maker of non-military drones.

"If you have an idea, you can quickly evaluate this idea and find factories to manufacture the product for you," said Jasen Wang, CEO of tech education startup Makeblock. The company produces kits that kids can use to build things like race cars and walking robots — and then program them. Makeblock's products and software are designed to teach children the language of computer programming in a fun way.      

Shenzhen provides a ready supply of the hardware needed by his company, which was valued around $350 million in its last fundraising round. And it also has the human talent. "There are so many big companies here, it's very easy to find hardware development engineers," Wang said. "You don't have that kind of advantage in Beijing or Shanghai."

Moving fast, Shenzhen also gets things done quickly."If you really want to develop products in a fast pace, I think you have to be in China — and practically have to be in Shenzhen," said Steven Yang, CEO of battery technology company Anker Innovations. "Anything you have to do in days or weeks elsewhere can be done in hours here."

Yang, a 36-year-old former Google (GOOGL) employee, has built Anker into one of the top makers of portable power banks for smartphones and other devices. It generated revenue of well of over $500 million last year, and its products sell on Amazon (AMZN) and at Walmart (WMT).

                          Ten years ago, Shenzhen was 90% about copycatting and 10% innovation, according to Yang. Now, it's 70% innovation and 30% copycatting, he suggests. Foreign businesses agree that Chinese companies are upping their game.

In an annual survey by the European Union Chamber of Commerce in China, this was the first year that a majority of respondents said they view Chinese companies as "equally or more innovative than European firms." Counterfeiting is still rife. While genuine innovation is happening in Shenzhen, so are trademark infringement and intellectual property theft. The counterfeiting industry is still massive, with fake iPhones and Nike (NKE) sneakers prominently on sale. Anker suffered from knockoffs in its early days, but authorities are gradually taking a tougher line on copycats, according to Yang. "I think it's getting better year over year," he said.

The Trump administration remains unconvinced. It has cited Chinese theft of American intellectual property as one of the main reasons for the trade war between the two giant economies. Experts say the Chinese government needs to do more if it wants to become a global tech powerhouse.

"China does want to see a few of their local firms take on world markets. And they are making lot of bets in various places, such as electric vehicles and artificial intelligence,” NYU Shanghai's Grewell said.

"For China to go send its innovations overseas," he added, "I think it's got to fully join the international community in protecting some of that intellectual property."

Jon Jensen contributed to this report.

[Entire post, click on the title link to read it at CNN Business, and to view all of the video clips and see the additional illustrations.]

***

Come experience our Creative Sage™ version of an Innovation Tour!

We’re glad that “new Silicon Valleys,” or place-specific innovation centers, are growing all over the world, at least in terms of innovation and the development of creative economy ecosystems — and we would love to visit them all! We all learn best by exchanging ideas across cultures and industries. We fully support complete diversity in the workplace, and overcoming the inequality challenges that are still too prevalent in our world.

Now, entrepreneurs, intrapreneurs, and organizational leaders from other cities and countries who are visiting the San Francisco Bay Area can have access to Silicon Valley companies to learn from their cultures, hiring, leadership and innovation methods. Come join us for a dynamic, unforgettable, and very enjoyable Innovation Tour in San Francisco, Silicon Valley, the East Bay (Emeryville, Oakland, Berkeley, and more), in the Wine Country, or on the beautiful, rural Northern California seacoast in Mendocino County, including Fort Bragg, California, where we have worked on business, arts and tourism projects.

At Creative Sage™, we design high impact, customized creativity, innovation, and leadership programs, and we are now offering related tours, events, corporate retreats, and workshops in wonderful urban and rural settings that will spark your imagination — and your team’s — to come up with brilliant ideas and plan how to implement new innovations in services, products, your organization’s business model, operations, or in any other area. We also design programs for specific areas and markets, such as health care and health-related travel.

We use the latest in value-tested creativity and innovation techniques and processes; and we select world-class facilitators and partners to help your organization gain lasting value from your experience working — and playing — with us. Creativity and innovation processes could include design thinking, business model canvas, arts-based, interactive creativity activities, lateral thinking, gamification, World Cafe, or other proven methods.

We also work on workplace culture issues, leadership challenges, handling transitions, and building resilience in organizations and individual clients. You’ll be able to see first-hand how Silicon Valley companies create a culture of creativity and innovation, and you’ll be able to talk with their leaders. We’ll arrange a customized tour for you that addresses your organization’s issues.

We can design additional customized programs and tours for individuals, families, work teams, university students and faculty, including those in undergraduate or graduate entrepreneurship or MBA programs, and other special interest groups, such as the charitable tourism activities.

Join our email list and visit our web site, or call: (510) 845-5510 for more information.

You’ll take away essential, valuable insights that you could not achieve in any other way, while enjoying the experience of a lifetime!

***

[aurelliocheek]

Women in Mobile: Bosses of the Industry – Bruna Amaya @ Hurb

This article is part of Liftoff’s Women in Mobile: Bosses of the Industry series, featuring in-depth interviews with inspiring women in the mobile industry.

Bruna is the Head of Marketing at Hotel Urbano (Hurb), the leading online travel agency (OTA) in Brazil, based in Rio de Janeiro. She’s had experience in many marketing channels, but found her passion for Mobile Marketing when leading the growth team that led Hurb’s app to becoming their most important channel.

Learn more from her Mobile Hero profile.

It was no easy feat for Bruna Amaya to go from intern to app marketer to Head of Marketing, all while at Hurb (formerly Hotel Urbano), an online platform that enables travelers to find and reserve accommodation and activities based in Brazil. She chalks a portion of her success up to being curious and humble to talk about topics she doesn’t necessarily know about. She’s never afraid to ask questions, no matter what her title is.

Tell us about your current role.

I’m the Head of Marketing at Hurb, a Brazilian online travel agency that markets the largest number of lodging options on the internet. While I used to focus on all major channels (Facebook and Google, meta-search, etc), my current single focus is our mobile app.

My team and I work everyday to build an excellent “app house”. What makes it excellent and unique are the people and our cross-functional nature. We work closely with product, IT, data science and performance media marketing.

My management style is hands-on. It’s a tough balance staying close to daily optimization and testing while empowering the team to grow with autonomy. The one thing that is constant is curiosity. In such a dynamic environment, knowledge can quickly become obsolete. I never stop studying and learning and expect the same from every team member. This is how we built the “app house” to be strong today and for the future.

What has been your career path?

My background is in Industrial Engineering. I never imagined I would land in Marketing. I joined Hurb.com in 2016 as an intern rotating across multiple marketing departments.

My entire career in digital marketing has been shaped here at Hurb. When I first joined, I didn’t even know what a CPC was and was lucky to find a team of amazing people and an incredible mentor – Hurb’s CEO, João.

After joining Hurb, my scope and responsibility took off really fast. It was only seven months after I joined the company that our CEO challenged me to take on managing our mobile app and soon after that other marketing channels as well like Google, Facebook, e-mail marketing and more. As Head of Marketing, we built the team from scratch which quickly grew from 15 to 60 people. For the first time we had a mobile app-focused strategy and no longer duplicated the website experience within the app. I caught myself leaning more and more towards the app space, which fascinated me.

Earlier in my career, I used to think that growing my scope of work was a signal of success. With time I realized that owning such a high potential channel takes time, effort and a different set of skills that weren’t necessarily transferable. It was at this time that I took a step back and developed a plan.

I remember the day I pitched the CEO on building an app-only marketing team, and focus 100% of my time on this. For the first time I narrowed my scope down, believing my contributions in this area would be much greater than managing marketing across multiple channels. At the time, our app accounted for a single-digit share of Hurb’s revenue. Within two years, our mobile app grew to account for one third of our revenue. Hard decisions I learned lead to growth, and throughout this time I’ve experienced tremendous personal and professional development, often painful at first, but extremely rewarding.

What is one thing you wish you knew at the start of your career?

That success is a collective accomplishment. I used to think that to prove myself I had to make everything happen on my own. I had all the energy and strong will, and also thought credit would be deserved if I did everything by myself. I took on many projects at a time, and looked less after others. It took time, experience and strain to realize that rallying a team together is more challenging than doing everything alone and definitely more gratifying.

There’s an article from Harvard Business Review that explains the difference between managers and great managers. When you are a manager you play checkers. Your entire team has the same movements—they have the same qualities.

Great managers, on the other hand, play chess. They identify the best qualities of each team member and get the best output from all of them collectively. Great managers know and value the unique abilities of their staff, and they learn how best to integrate them into a coordinated plan of attack.

By helping others succeed, I’ve come to learn that we all thrive. This lesson has made me a better leader.

As a professional woman, what does it take to succeed in today’s world?

Keep learning, remain curious, do what you love and be your best self everyday. This shouldn’t differ based on gender, however women do face challenges that are gender-related. In this short list, we see how women often have roadblocks asking questions or having their ideas valued in a room that is male dominant, which has a strong impact on keeping curiosity and being your best self.

My experience at Hurb, however, is very different. I’m fortunate that most leaders here are women and there’s a high level of gender bias awareness. I also have a great level of responsibility to remain an active role model, to continue nurturing this culture and pass it along, both internally and externally.

If you weren’t in the mobile industry, what would you be doing?

I would be doing logistics or something related to industrial engineering. I used to work in a company called Ball Corporation. They sell cans to Coca-Cola and other bottling companies. My job was to make the production lines work faster.

Can you share some self-care habits that help you be the best version of yourself?

I wish I could say I meditate, but I don’t! One of my 2020 resolutions is to take better care of myself, do things that I like and have more work-life balance. I exercise whenever possible and I read a lot. I enjoy studying leadership, reading about the mobile industry, learning and developing myself. It makes me really happy when I allocate time for these self-care habits.

One fun fact about yourself that few people know?

My age. I’m currently 24. It’s been a challenge because sometimes people don’t trust my skills or capabilities because I am young. I was 22 when I became Head of Marketing. When I speak publicly representing Hurb, I sense bias for “looking like an intern”. I don’t overthink it; I deliver my best work, results follow, and I earn people’s trust.

What is the number one resource you recommend to women?

First, I believe that women have the power of building community. Each of us should create and stay close to our networks. When I first took on the app responsibility at Hurb, the single person who was a mobile marketing expert left the company two months later. I had to get out there and learn from people—these connections helped me grow. Being curious also makes your participation in networks more relevant. I’d go to events, ask any company to pitch their product, and have my go-to people for different topics. And on the flip-side, I’m always open to chat with others who need help too.

Second, keep reading. From online content, to books and articles. Read about your core job, build your soft-skills, and increase awareness on gender bias. By reading and learning about these topics, I became more conscious of my own triggers and surroundings. It helped me navigate gender issues in my own career as well as with people around me.

Connect with Bruna on LinkedIn

The post Women in Mobile: Bosses of the Industry – Bruna Amaya @ Hurb appeared first on Liftoff.

Women in Mobile: Bosses of the Industry – Bruna Amaya @ Hurb published first on https://leolarsonblog.tumblr.com/

[we-future-first]

The world is utterly unprepared for artificial intelligence in the near-term: "Media Synthesis", the phenomenon which includes deepfakes, is further along than almost anyone realizes and is prepared for, and this will result in a lot of fun and angst come the 2020s

I run the /r/MediaSynthesis subreddit, collecting links and discussions surrounding this technology. The other day, I asked /r/MachineLearning about a topic that I've been tossing about my head for almost a full decade now: when will we be able to use style transfer on audio reliably?

In the simplest possible terms, "style transfer" is when you make one thing like another using machine learning. You upload a picture of a sunny day as an input, upload a bunch of pictures of night time as variables, and then get the original picture but now it's night time. The algorithm didn't fetch a picture of the scene at a different time of day. It altered the very pixels, turning day into night.

Here's a few examples:

Color transfer

Video transfer, turning a street scene with trees into one with buildings or more trees, among other things

Musical transfer, changing instruments and genres.

All of which are from 2017 or 2018.

There's a lot more, and this includes deepfakes which I'm sure plenty of people are aware of. The potential of this technology over the next 5 years— and yes, I'm saying five years, not fifteen or twenty five or fifty— is going to lead to people with no skill in machine learning or artistry to be able to alter existing media almost completely as well as generate some kinds of new media.

Back specifically on the topic of audio style transfer, this includes being able to take a song, any song, and altering at your leisure in a variety of different ways ranging from adding or subtracting instruments, swapping the vocalist or removing them entirely, and perhaps even extending the song in an "intelligent" manner— meaning the algorithm can actually generate more sections of that song that didn't previously exist (within reason). You could turn any top 40 pop song into a 20-minute-long pop epic.

My classic desire is taking TLC's Waterfalls and turning it into a barbershop quartet, complete with the mustachioed men singing in tune with all the 1920s graininess you'd expect. Did you like Bohemian Rhapsody but could do without the heavy guitars? Why not transfer it into a polka song? That's indeed very possible. Covering songs in a different style is obviously a thing that you can already find on YouTube and "X Goes Pop" compilations whatnot, but that involves actual musicians and artists putting in the time and effort. We're not far away from having a theoretical "Audacity 2.0" where you could do the same thing with a few clicks of your mouse.

One of my more esoteric desires goes a step further, and it's also very much on the horizon. I love Witchfinder General, but they've always been a bit too amateurish. They were almost a great band, if only a few lyrics were changed and some instruments were tightened up. In the future, I could be able to "correct" these "mistakes", going in to change the lyrics myself so that Zeeb Parkes is singing something a bit different over a band that's even slower and doomier than they actually were. In some cases, that means adding lines where there weren't originally.

It would obviously still be a laborious process because vocals in songs can be complex and heavily individualized.

But that was only ever a problem for the old era of digital software, where things had to be cut up and easily able to fit into bits and pieces and then essentially standardized as if you're playing something on a synth. This new era is something entirely different and infinitely more capable. You couldn't replicate Bob Dylan's soul if you had his voice in a voice synthesis software program as might exist today.

There's no style nor soul that'll be beyond my fingers with the right neural networks.

For someone like me, who loves creating entire musical scenes and movements from playlists and imagination, that's a godsend. For an actual musician or any creative who prides themselves on their humanity, it sounds like the worst dystopia.

I'm not overselling this either. Audio is, fundamentally, a bunch of waves. If you can edit those waveforms, you can create any audio you wish. It's just that the way we edit those waveforms is usually by hitting drums, strumming guitars, pressing keyboards, and singing.

Of course, there are much darker applications of this technology. The very first thing to come to mind is putting words in someone else's mouth for political purposes, as can be demonstrated here:

Deepfakes on Obama, Putin, and others

Making Trump say new things

If the latter sounds too robotic, don't fret/relax. Making voices sound audiorealistic is just a matter of parameters and data, of which the likes of Google, Baidu, Facebook, OpenAI, and many others have no shortage. The crappy free text-to-speech programs you might find with a Google search or in a PDF file is as representative of the state of the art as a bottle rocket is of the military's explosive ordinance.

And that's literally just the tip of the iceberg. Just because I'm focusing on audio doesn't mean there's nothing for images and video, obviously. Just the opposite— everyone is so focused on deepfakes and image synthesis that we're overlooking audio synthesis.

It's not coming in stages, nor is it arriving slowly and at easily digestible and tolerable speeds as might be written in a shlock cyberpunk novel. We're not going to struggle with image synthesis for 20 years, then struggle with audio synthesis for 20 years, and so on until we reach a point in the distant future where you can't trust anything you see. We're developing them all simultaneously and seeing progress come at breakneck speeds, and we'll be well within that future this time next decade.

In fact, this time next decade we'll have entirely different zeitgeists when it comes to art, entertainment, and the news. There's no refuge in cartoons. Neural networks are in the early stages of learning how to do caricatures and exaggerations— the fundamental root of cartooning. Others can generate short animations from text alone. Even more can be used to remaster old video games and create games from scratch.

And no, you can't find refuge in writing either. Scarily enough, it's the text synthesis network that shows the most signs of general intelligence. It's not AGI by far, but it's most general AI ever created and it isn't even a very complex machine at that. But it's apparently too dangerous to be released.

If you have a passion for all of this and create art for art's sake or are willing to accept fewer (but likely much higher paid) commissions rather than a "career" as we understand it to be, you're fine. If you're someone who wants to become a career artist/model/voice actor/musician/animator/writer/comic artist/newscaster and expect to find consistent work for the next 50 years, (first, good luck regardless) make these next five to ten years count and/or try considering jumping into the former category.

We don't need AGI for any of this either, so don't think that we have to wait until we "solve intelligence" to see any of this. Nor should you expect it to cost a fortune to use. We only need GANs and most of this tech is open source.

The final and most sobering realization of all this is the cold fact that, ironically contrary to all those predictions of how automation would unfold, entertainment and the arts will be the first field to go. Everyone said that all the drudgery of the world would be automated first, freeing up workers to pursue the arts because "a machine could never write a poem, pen a song, or paint a work of art".

This is something so stupefyingly far from public conscious that there is virtually nothing being done or said about it. You might initially think that it doesn't warrant much discussion until it actually arrives, but when you really start looking at this in-depth, you have a tendency to grow a bit fatalistic. One of my future-shock angsts is about schooling and how public and private schools in their current form are utterly unable to prepare children for the future into which they will graduate (a future in which school itself may become obsolete because there will be little point for it besides social functions and raw education, which isn't what American schooling is for). This is related, but a bit different.

We have a technology that didn't exist 10 years ago and yet will almost certainly upend the entire entertainment industry within 10 years from now. Photoshops and photo manipulation, "dumbfakes" if you will, weren't even a pre-meal mint, let alone the appetizer. We ought to be having a dialog on this, but we aren't.

Many of us refuse to believe it exists at all, that it's just some schizophrenic pipe dreams found on /r/Futurology and /r/Singularity. Others so desperately want to leave a place for humans that they will deny that machines will be able to do these things competently despite being shown the evidence. And those who accept it can only say "So what?" Even though I eagerly await a world where I could generate a multimedia franchise (and the global reaction) in my bedroom on my laptop, there are still pertinent risks.

As /u/ksblur said:

Strange how we live in a world of trust-based security. It would be relatively easy for cryptography to solve that issue (your phone could automatically reject calls without proper signatures or encryption), but people grew up "trusting" the systems so there's not a lot of incentive to change it.

Could you imagine inventing the telephone in 2019 and either A) not encrypting the data (landlines) or B) using weak 64bit A5/1 encryption (GSM)?*

TLDR Skynet wants to become a singer and artist, and Dad (i.e. Humans) doesn't realize it yet.

submitted by /u/Yuli-Ban [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/b2wv71/the_world_is_utterly_unprepared_for_artificial/

[batclevercandystudent]

Do you want to know how to start a blog?

Cool, welcome to the party.

It’s true, blogging can be a great hobby to share your knowledge.

But in 2019, blogging is also a viable online business model – not just for thousands of bloggers who make a living from their sites – but also (possibly) for you.

But if you’ve never set up a website before, it can be intimidating.

Fortunately, I’ve compiled everything you need to get your blog up right here.

I’ve covered every step, from choosing a blogging platform to setting up Google Analytics, and lots more!

I’ve left out all the fluff and to help you get started on the right foot — without wasting any time.

How to start a blog (in 6 steps):

Step 1: Choose the right blogging platform

Step 2: Give your blog a name

Step 3: Get the right host

Step 4: Designing your blog

Step 5: Five pages every website needs

Step 6: Essential WordPress plugins for bloggers

[Bonus #1] Google analytics set up guide

[Bonus #2] Google Search Console set up guide

1. Choose the right blogging platform

You can start a blog and manage it quite easily today. But with so many options, it’s hard to choose a content management system.

For example, platforms like Tumblr, Medium, and Blogspot let you post your writing without too much effort.

But if you’re serious about blogging in 2019, your best bet is WordPress.

WordPress is highly intuitive to use and extremely versatile. Instead of pre-set templates, WordPress works with third-party themes and plugins.

That means you can make your blog look and function almost any way you can imagine.

Without getting too technical, here’s why WordPress is great for bloggers:

1) Easy to use

WordPress has a well organized and intuitive interface that’s perfect for beginners. If you want to set up your blog with the least amount of hassle, WordPress is a smart choice.

2) Great ecosystem

With 32% of the internet running on WordPress, you’ll be part of a massive ecosystem. That makes it easy to access resources like guides and tutorials for WordPress users of all skill levels.

There’s also massive support in forums on Reddit and StackExchange in case you get stuck.

3) Good third-party support

WordPress works with themes and plugins created by external designers and developers. Don’t worry if you don’t know what I’m talking about — you will soon understand how great this flexibility is for your blog.

For now, all you need to know is that themes make your blog look amazing, even if you suck at design. Plugins add cool functionalities to your blog, like a shopping cart or live chat system.

The WordPress universe can be a little confusing with all the hosting, themes, plugins, etc. Let’s start off by clarifying how it works.

Hosting + WordPress + theme + plugins = Badass website

Tweet This

Is WordPress free?

Yes and no — let me explain.

WordPress.org is free open source software.

Here’s how to use it for your blog:

Set up an account with a hosting company: Keep reading to learn more about hosting.

Install WordPress: It’s free and easy to install. It’s also easy to use — you won’t have to learn code.

Build your website: Use themes and plugins to make your blog look and function exactly how you want.

There is a cost of running your blog this way, and it’s determined by:

Your hosting plan

Any themes or plugins you purchase

For a totally free WordPress blog:

Use the free starter plan at WordPress.com

Start a simple but very limited blog

Why do I not recommend the ‘free’ approach?

WordPress.com has a free hosting plan that lets you set up a blog and run it through their platform.

This might seem like the obvious choice — who doesn’t want free and simple, right?

If you plan on building a business around your blog or doing anything beyond sharing with friends and family, you need more power and flexibility. WordPress.com will run ads on your blog and collect the money for YOUR traffic.

You'll spend 100s of hours working on your blog, spend $5/month to own it.

Tweet This

Using WordPress.com, or any other free website builder to start your blog really limits what you can do.

Here are the biggest reasons NOT to get a free website:

1) You don’t get your own domain name

With free options, the name will include the platform associated with your blog.

For example, instead of yourblog.com, it will be something like this:

yourblog.wordpress.com

yourblog.blogspot.com

yourblog.tumblr.com

2) Limited modifications

Free is fine if you want a small cookie-cutter blog. If you plan to take your blogging seriously, you will need more options.

As you build an audience or start an online business around your blog, you’ll become frustrated with the limitations of a free plan.

For example, free plans limit how many videos and images you can post.

You might want to start building an email list, or selling products. And you will definitely want to promote your blog and get found on Google.

When you do, you’ll be forced to upgrade to a paid subscription anyway.

3) You’re not the owner

When you host your blog for free, whether it’s on WordPress.com, Medium, or Wix, they own it. If they want to delete it, they can!

Plus, when you’re ready for a more custom platform, you’ll have to start from scratch.

Now how does the free approach sound?

Not cool, right?

What about Wix?

Enough said.

While these website builders are free to use, they severely restrict key functionalities, will hold you back from growing your audience.

If you’re serious about blogging, avoid the dumpster fire.

Your ‘free’ account can end up costing a lot of frustration and money when you’re forced to upgrade.

WordPress.org (self Hosted blog)

Instead, I recommend the self-hosted approach — using free WordPress software on your own web hosting account.

While the self-hosted approach requires a bit of extra work, it opens up the entire functionality of WordPress. More importantly, it gives you complete ownership.

The bottom line for starting a blog:

If you’re serious about blogging and want to make money from it, a self-hosted website is the way to go.

The good news?

Hosting is not expensive, and WordPress CMS is free.

If you follow the steps in this guide, your blog will only cost $5 to $10 a month. That’s chump change considering the value you get in return — a custom WordPress blog that looks pro.

2. Give your blog a name

On the internet, every website, blog or resource has a unique domain name. It’s like an address — a name typed into a browser to get to your blog.

For example, when you type my domain name ‘hacktheentrepreneur.com’ into your browser, you’ll go straight to my home page.

Picking a name for your blog can be overwhelming. You want it to be perfect. After all, the domain name is the first impression people have of your blog before they see any of your writing.

It’s much easier to come up with ideas once you know what niche you serve and who you target. This is the same process we use to generate viable online business ideas.

Spend some time writing down words to describe your audience. Focus on how they describe themselves.

For example, if your blog is for dog owners, what kind of dog owners are you targeting? Do they identify with the term dog mommy or does that make them cringe?

Then, start brainstorming:

Combine a word that identifies your niche with your unique contribution.

For example, my blog serves entrepreneurs. My contribution is helping entrepreneurs grow an online business efficiently and effectively.

Hence the name ‘Hack – The – Entrepreneur.’

So what’s the best name for my blog?

It’s easy to get hung up on trying to figure out the best name for your blog.

While it is essential — it’s more important that you decide on a name and move on to the next step.

To help you decide, here are a few characteristics of an ideal domain name:

Original: Do not try to copy another popular name.

Short and clear: Keep it simple, so it’s easy to remember.

Easy to spell: Don’t get too creative with invented words, or people won’t know how to spell it.

Common extensions: These extensions are common, therefore easier to remember:  .com |  .co | .org | .io

Pro tip: You know you have a good domain name when someone can understand it over a call with bad coverage.

Fun Fact: Most people change the name of their blog at some point. Your domain name doesn’t have to be permanent, so don’t get hung up on perfection.

Where do I get a domain name?

Once you have some name ideas, it’s time to head over to a domain registry service.

You can research to see which of your choices are available, then pay a fee to register your final choice.

My recommendation: Namecheap

GET 46% DISCOUNT ON YOUR DOMAIN

Why do I recommend NameCheap?

1) Affordable pricing

Namecheap lives up to its name.

For as little as $9.00, you can register your domain for a year. While this isn’t the cheapest you’ll find (Godaddy starts at $7.95), it’s actually much less expensive in the long term.

This is why you have to read the fine print:

Godaddy’s price is more than double to renew. In the second year, it jumps from $7.85 to $16.95.

While Namecheap has a slightly higher initial price, it stays the same every year — no surprises. Search for your domain name now!

2) Free WhoisGuard

Domain registrars are required to keep a WHOIS database for all the domains they host. They submit information about who owns the domains to a central authority.

This can result in anyone, including spammers, finding your contact information.

Namecheap includes free WhoisGuard protection for as long as you keep renewing the domain. That’s a considerable cost saving of at least USD$7.99 per year.

Sweet, right?

3) Live chat support

Unlike other companies, Namecheap has a fantastic customer support team that you can reach via phone, email or chat.

How to get a domain with Namecheap

Step 1: Go to Namecheap and enter your domain name

Step 2: Choose the best available domain name and add to cart

This part can get tricky — if you use a common name, the .com extension might be unavailable.

If that’s the case, you can try:

Changing up the name a little.

Choosing a different extension like .org, .co, .io.

Step 3: Apply my Coupon Code: NEWCOM

Then simply confirm your order and SAVE 46%!

GET YOUR DOMAIN NAME NOW

3. Get the right host

Now that you have a name for your blog, you need to find a place for it to live.

If you don’t know much about computers, a topic like ‘website hosting’ sounds like rocket science.

In a nutshell, hosting companies:

Operate networks of computer servers.

Store and protect the data that makes up your website.

Make your website accessible to people on the internet.

Just think of hosting as a place (servers) to store (host) your website (data).

I can’t emphasize enough how important good hosting is for your blog.

What’s the best web hosting for a blog?

The function of a host is to keep the data of your blog safe and accessible.

When you’re just starting, you might want to pick the cheapest hosting service. This is the worst thing you can do for your blog.

You’re looking at an endless spiral of problems, like slow loading times, and crashes. Add bad customer support to the mix and you’ll want to throw your computer out the window.

Instead, here’s what to look for in a hosting company:

Excellent customer support: Get help quickly when you need it.

High uptime rating: Percentage of time servers are working and accessible (vs. downtown when your site is crashed and nobody can access it).

Economical pricing: The most expensive hosting is not necessarily the best.

My recommendation: SiteGround

GET SITEGROUND HOSTING

Why do I recommend SiteGround?

You shouldn’t have to do a deep dive on the technical aspects of servers and web-hosting. You just want your blog to work – and so do I. With that said, here’s why I recommend you use SiteGround when setting up your blog.

1) Well-trained customer support

SiteGround support is excellent — the reps know their stuff. If you’re setting up hosting for the first time, they can walk you through it.

When your blog is down (which almost never happens with SiteGround), their support is fast and easy to access. There are multiple ways to reach them, so you can choose which one you prefer: phone, email, and even live chat.

Fun Fact: They offer priority support with higher tier plans.

2) Top-notch servers (with 99.99% uptime)

SiteGround uses some of the best servers loaded with the best technology and architecture in the industry.

It also has the highest uptime rating of 99.99%. That means you can reasonably expect your website to be live 99.99% of the time.

So you can rest assured your blog and its data will remain secure and accessible to the internet at all times!

3) Ease of use

Customer support is helpful, but it’s even better when you don’t have to use it — an interface that’s easy to understand goes a long way.

It’s really simple and easy to manage your blog hosting with SiteGround because it has an intuitive interface.

The interface is well-organized in sections, with detailed icons so beginners can understand what they’re looking at.

For a more detailed review, I recommend checking out my SiteGround review.

How do you get hosting with SiteGround?

Of all the reasons to use SiteGround to host your blog, ease of use is near the top of my list. Let’s take a look at the four simple steps it takes to get SiteGround WordPress hosting.

Step 1: Go to SiteGround and choose Managed WordPress Hosting

Then choose which hosting plan you want:

If you’re starting, I recommend the GrowBig Plan which is the cheapest SiteGround plan that lets you host multiple websites. It offers the most value for your buck!

Step 2: Connect your new domain to the hosting account

First, select ‘I already have a domain’ and then enter the domain name you got from NameCheap and click ‘Proceed.’

Step 3: Fill in the details and make payment

Fill in the account information and proceed to payment.

Note: SiteGround renewal prices are three times that of the promo price so opting for a longer subscription saves you cash.

Step 4: Install WordPress on your new website

SiteGround makes it really easy. When you log into your customer area for the first time, just choose ‘Start a new website.’

The installation wizard will do the rest — just follow the steps and set up your WordPress account.

You’re done!

From now on, you can manage your website by logging in to your WordPress dashboard at:

yourdomainname.com/wp-admin

4. Designing your blog

Now that you have a domain name and hosting, it’s time to get to the fun stuff — designing your blog!

There are two ways to go about this:

Hire a WordPress Developer

Get a WordPress Theme

Developers are expensive. I don’t know about you, but most people don’t want to invest in a custom design when they’re just starting.

With a theme, you can make a great-looking blog without hiring a developer.

What is a WordPress theme?

In a nutshell, a WordPress theme is like a collection of templates. It defines the look and feel of your blog.

Most importantly, it gives you the ability to create a website without writing a single line of code.

Some premium themes like Thrive Themes, operate more like design software, with drag-and-drop blocks for text, images, and other elements.

The theme you choose will determine:

The visual design of the website

Typography

Colors

Page layouts

Styles for your articles

All you need to do is add your logos, text, and images to set up the pages you want.

The theme will ensure that your pages work together to create a visually appealing and functional website.

Free vs. paid WordPress themes

The WordPress theme industry has thousands of themes, and many of them are free.

Why not save money and go for a free WordPress theme?

Here are the four biggest reasons to pay for WordPress themes:

1) Reliable code

There’s a lot that goes into making a WordPress theme, but that’s just the first part. There’s also ensuring everything continues to work and remains compatible.

Theme companies have developers on staff to fix bugs and update code so it keeps working as internet technology changes.

With a free theme, you don’t have anyone working on the back end and this often leads to compatibility issues. That means bugs, errors or worse — downtime!

2) Dedicated support

Most people who use WordPress themes for a blog lack technical knowledge — they’re bloggers, not web developers.

Paid themes offer customer support, with some extending to live chat. This is a life-saver for anyone who is not a developer and just wants to make a nice blog that works.

3) Better community

Apart from excellent customer support, most paid WordPress themes have an active community. That means lots of people using their themes and talking about it on social media and in forums.

Chances are, if you’re trying to create something on your blog and can’t figure it out, someone else has already posted the answer.

4) Highly customizable

Paid themes offer a higher degree of customization than free alternatives.

Although themes are created by developers, they are designed for regular people to use — without learning how to code. A good theme can make your blog look exactly how you want.

Bottom line:

While paid themes cost money, they offer advantages you’ll miss out on with a free theme.

Best WordPress themes for bloggers

To pick the right theme for your blog, you’ll have to sift through a ton of options.

I’ll save you some time: there is only a handful of theme developers worth the money.

Here are the two I recommend:

StudioPress

GET A THEME AT STUDIOPRESS

StudioPress is a top WordPress developer. It has more than 200,000 happy users, thanks to its beautiful and reliable themes. The blog you are reading right now uses the Maker Pro theme from StudioPress.

Here are the best reasons to get a StudioPress theme:

1) Fast and easy setup

Even a non-techie can set up a professional WordPress website super fast with a StudioPress theme.

It has a library of awesome layouts, so you all you have to do is pick one you like, install it, and start dropping in your content.

Who needs a web designer right?

2) Reliable and lightweight code (SEO-Friendly)

Without getting too technical, StudioPress themes work on a “theme framework” called Genesis. When you choose a layout option, you’re just choosing the visual design elements.

Genesis Framework is the core foundation code for a WordPress site. It’s rock-solid, reliable, and fast — and it’s included with any theme you purchase from StudioPress.

Over the years I have used many themes, but never once have I experienced performance issues with StudioPress. In fact, I have the same speed as a website custom-coded from scratch:

My website scores really well for page speed, thanks to the clean and lightweight code of Genesis Framework.

Page speed is important for SEO and user experience — nobody likes a site that takes forever to load! A theme with unreliable and clunky code slows everything down.

3) Great customer support

The support by StudioPress is top-notch. You can get premium support any time of day, plus lifetime updates on all their products.

4) SEO-friendly integrations

StudioPress themes include built-in SEO tools that mitigate the need to install additional SEO plugins.

Recommended WordPress theme 2: Thrive Themes

GET THRIVE THEMES

Thrive Themes is a conversion focused WordPress company. Thrive’s WordPress themes and plugins are designed to help you convert readers into subscribers and customers.

That means it’s great for bloggers who want to build an email list or start an online business.

Best reasons to get Thrive Themes

Thrive Themes offers way more than stand-alone WordPress themes. They provide a bundle of plugins and themes that work together.

1) All-in-one package

With a full package from Thrive, you get everything you need to make sure your blog is effective in getting you more customers and clients.

The Thrive Theme package includes:

Thrive Themes: An array of beautiful WordPress themes focussed on conversion.

Thrive Leads: Eye-catching, effective email opt-in forms.

Thrive Architect: A drag and drop page builder (I use it to make sales pages).

Tons of plugins: Grow your business with tools to publish testimonials, post a quiz, make a sidebar, and more.

Thrive Themes includes so many built-in features you won’t need to buy any external plugins. You’ll save money and your website won’t be slowed down.

2) Huge library of layouts

Each Thrive Theme comes pre-built with close to a hundred layouts. For a non-designer, that’s really helpful.

You can make your home page, landing pages, contact page, and sales pages look great with professionally-designed layouts. Just drop in your text and images.

3) Good for conversion optimization

Thrives Themes primarily focus on optimizing conversion. The built-in features work together to make sure you get the most out of your visitors.

GeneratePress

GET GENERATEPRESS

GeneratePress is focused on speed, reliability, and ease-of-use.

It doesn’t have a lot of bells and whistles, but it’s an affordable option for a fast, clean, and simple blog.

Best reasons to get GeneratePress

1) Performance

One of the highlights of the GeneratePress theme is its excellent performance.

It is developed with clean and lightweight code. With no extra frills, it’s great for SEO and fast loading time.

2) Free site library

This theme sports an excellent library of layouts that let you build a fully functional website in a matter of minutes.

3) Simple and intuitive website builder

Another advantage of GeneratePress is its highly customizable website builder. It enables you to customize your blog without much hassle.

5. Five pages every blogger needs

I know you’re excited to start blogging. But before you start writing, you need some basics on your website so readers know what you’re all about. These same pages are also necessary if you want to start selling online courses.

There are five pages every blog needs to give readers a better experience on your website.

How to create a new page in WordPress

Considering it’s your first time building a blog on WordPress, here’s how to create a new page:

1. From your WordPress dashboard, go to pages and click ‘add new.’

2. Give your page a title, and start adding some content. When you’re happy with how it looks, hit ‘publish.’

Remember: Once you hit ‘publish’ your page is live. If you don’t want to publish it right away, save it as a draft.

Great! You now know how to create pages on your blog.

Page 1: Home

Your home page without a doubt is the most important page on your blog.

Why?

Because it’s the most visited page, and usually the first thing new visitors see.

Your home page should describe what your blog is about and draw visitors deeper into your blog.

As you can see my home page clearly portrays who I am and what I do:

I establish trust by showing some online publications I’ve written for. I also ask people to go deeper by subscribing to my email list.

Page 2: Blog category

While most people use their homepage to display posts, I like to have a dedicated page for all my articles — a blog category page. On Hack the Entrepreneur, we also have a podcast category page.

If you plan to consistently publish, you’ll end up with a huge disorganized collection of articles. Readers will have a hard time finding what they want to read, and new visitors won’t know where to start.

With a blog page, you can create your articles as blog posts, and organize them with categories and tags.

For example, Smart Passive Income has a massive collection of content and uses a nifty slider to filter categories. It’s really easy for readers to find what they’re looking for.

Page 3: Contact

Your blog will open the door to many opportunities. Over time people will be interested in working with you while others may want to get in touch.

But how do they contact you?

Posting your email address on your blog is a terrible idea. You’ll understand why pretty quickly — your inbox will get spammed.

That’s why you need a page with a contact form. Nothing fancy, just a simple and concise form,

Just a simple form and a message about how quickly you usually respond is fine. Here’s a great example from SoulSalt’s contact page.

Note: I recommend using the Ninja Forms plugin to create beautiful contact forms.

Page 4: About me

People like to know what’s going on behind the scenes, or rather who’s responsible for the content they’re reading.

They are more likely to trust your website (and your business) if they see a face behind your blog.

For example, Gemma and Alistair Clay from Class: PR strike a perfect balance between storytelling and social proof and is an excellent example of an about page.

Having an about me page helps visitors learn more about you, and establishes a personal connection.

Page 5: Privacy policy

In the age of GDPR and privacy concerns, this page is essential to every blog.

Here you outline the personal information you collect from your visitors — for example, emails and names collected via opt-in forms.

Once again, don’t overdo it. I use a simple text page that clearly displays my privacy policy without any fluff.

If you plan to use a third-party ad network, you’ll have to mention the use of cookies clearly within your privacy policy page.

Note: You need to have a privacy policy page if you want to display ads from Google and other networks.

Here are a few tools to help you create a privacy policy page.

https://www.shopify.in/tools/policy-generator

https://www.freeprivacypolicy.com/

6. Essential plugins for bloggers

With your website launched and essential pages in place, you’re ready to start blogging.

While most beginners avoid using plugins, they are a necessary part of the blogging process.

If you don’t pay attention to optimizing and maintaining your website, it won’t work as well as it should.

You’ll have a hard time getting traffic, and converting traffic into customers — both essential if you want to make money with a blog.

That’s where plugins come in.

Plugins are bundles of code that add functions to your WordPress blog. They also automate some administrative processes so you can focus on more productive things, like writing awesome blog posts.

While plugins are great, adding too many will end up slowing down your blog.

To get you started on the right foot, I’ve listed the best plugins for a new blog:

Yoast for SEO: Optimizes your blog for search engines

GET YOAST SEO

Search engine optimization (SEO) in the blogging world is a big deal!

Getting on the first page of Google is one of the main ways to get more people reading your blog.

Now, while many ranking factors go into SEO, optimizing content for search engines is essential. Yoast helps you make sure your blog posts are written and formatted properly for search.

Note: You can skip the XML sitemap plugin as Yoast takes care of this too

Social Warfare: Gets your blog shared on social media

GET SOCIAL WARFARE

Social Warfare adds lightning-fast social share buttons to your blog — and they look great on every screen size.

That means sharing your content on social media will be fast and easy for your readers.

W3 Total Cache: Makes your blog load faster

GET W3 TOTAL CACHE

W3 Total Cache is another essential plugin that helps with SEO and the user experience of your website.  It optimizes performance to reduce load time.

OptinMonster: Helps grow your email list

GET OPTINMONSTER

OptinMonster is a plugin for creating lead capture forms, focussed on high conversions.

If you want to grow your business with email marketing, you need to create valuable lead magnets and make sure your signup forms get noticed.

Ninja forms: Builds forms for any purpose

Ninja form is a form builder that helps you collect information from your readers. This plugin makes it super easy to create beautifully-designed forms and drop them anywhere you want on your website.

For example, you can use Ninja Forms to create a quote request, event registration form, or even a simple contact form.

[Bonus #1] Google Analytics set up guide

Google Analytics gives you valuable insight into your website traffic.

Beyond how many people are visiting your site, this essential tool breaks down tons of information:

What pages they visit

How long they stay

What they click on

How they found your website

What countries they’re in

This data is essential to learn the inner workings of your website, so you can assess whether it is accomplishing its purpose.

While this data may not mean much when you don’t have much traffic, it’s essential to integrate it from the beginning.  Collecting valuable data right from the start helps you avoid gaps.

There’s a ton of data in your Google Analytics account, and you don’t need to dig too deep at the beginning.

Tracking these three metrics will help guide your decisions around what to write and how to promote your blog:

Overview report: A quick glimpse of your blog’s audience for a certain period.

Most Popular Posts: This helps you find out what type of content is resonating most with your audience.

Referral traffic: Gives you the top 10 websites sending you traffic. These are sites linking to your blog within their content.

Setting up Google Analytics

Now you know Google Analytics is a must — but setting it up can be tricky.

This section walks through the entire process of setting up Google Analytics to your WordPress website step-by-step.

Step 1: Sign up for Google Analytics

Fill in the required information, and click ‘Get Tracking ID.’

Step 2: Get the tracking code to your blog

Once you add the website, you will get a Tracking ID. Under this, you’ll find the ‘Global Site Tag.’ It contains a code snippet which is your tracking code.

Step 3: Add the tracking code to the header of your blog

Copy the tracking code, and paste it into the <Header> section of your blog.

If you’re using a StudioPress theme, the Genesis Framework makes it easy. In your WordPress dashboard:

Find Genesis in the menu along the left side

Click on Theme Settings

Scroll down until you see the field <Header Scripts>

Paste your tracking code into the field

If you’re not using Genesis, you can either:

Contact support for the company that made your theme: Ask them where to manually add your tracking code to the header.

OR

Install free plugin Insert Headers and Footers: Use the plugin to add your tracking code to any theme.

That’s it!

You’ve just added Google Analytics into your website.

[Bonus #2] Google Search Console set up guide

Search Console is another essential data tool. In particular, it provides data on how your blog performs on search engines.

You want people to find your blog when they search for information on Google. The data in Search Console helps you to know when you’re on the right track with your content.

Search Console provides valuable data like:

What keywords and queries bring in traffic?

What are your top performing keywords?

Google Search Console helps you understand how effectively you are targeting and optimizing your content for SEO.

Setting up Google Search Console

Here’s a step-by-step walkthrough on how to set up the Google Search Console for your blog.

Step 1: Create an account with Search Console

Go to Google Search Console and click ‘Start Now’ to create an account.

Then click ‘Add a Property’ and enter the domain name of your blog.

Step 2: Verify ownership using Yoast

There are several ways to verify your blog, but I recommend using the Yoast SEO plugin.

All you have to do is copy and paste the HTML tag into the plugin:

Step 3: Add the code into your blog

Find Yoast SEO on the left side menu of your WordPress dashboard.

Go to ‘General’ settings and paste the code you got from Google Search Console.

Step 4: Verify with Google Search Console

Once you add the code click ‘verify’ and you should get the confirmation.

Congratulations you’ve successfully connected your blog with Google Search Console!

Final thoughts on blogging in 2019

Now that you have everything set up to start your blog the real work begins — writing blog posts and building an audience!

I won’t lie to you. It’s going to take a lot of work and time (maybe months) to see a noticeable change.

You may even feel stupid for spending so much time on something with an unpredictable return. Trust me — once you get that first win, things start to change pretty fast.

It took me 7 months before I made my first sale but after that, my website took off.

While blogging has many advantages, it’s definitely not easy.  There’s a lot of work to be done. And no matter if you want to become a professional blogger like James Altucher or simply write about your favorite recipes, blogging is a great skillset to learn.

But for now, give yourself a pat on the back for doing something awesome — starting a blog!

Go grab your new WordPress hosting account at SiteGround and get started on your blogging journey.

The post How to start a blog: The Definitive Guide (2019) appeared first on Hack the Entrepreneur.

via Hack the Entrepreneur

[oovitus]

I want to be ‘That Girl’. How you can successfully turn body envy into action.

Ah, That Girl. She’s got a defined waist, hair that looks styled even when it’s not, and a noticeable lack of kid throw-up on her sweater.

After coaching thousands of clients, I can confidently say: Wanting to be That Girl can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you. Here’s what to do about it.

++++

Ever look at someone, and think, “wow, she’s really got it all together”?

Maybe you’ve wondered what her secret is.

Maybe you’ve also wondered why you can’t seem to get things together the same way.

Not. Even. Close.

Your desire to be “That Girl” can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you.

In this article, I’m going to tell you the truth about “That Girl.” (Hint: it’s not something you’ll find on her super-polished Facebook profile or her gorgeous #nofilter Instagram feed.)

And I’ll show you how to use this kind of comparison to work for you, instead of against you.

++++

Before digging in, however, I wanted to let you know that soon we’ll be opening up spots in our Precision Nutrition Coaching program.

You see, twice a year we work with small groups of men and women hoping to look better, feel better, and gain control over their health and fitness.

Over the course of 12 months together, we help them get into the best shape of their lives… and stay that way for good.

For a sneak peek at the amazing things we’ve helped our clients accomplish, check out this short video:

Meet some of the people whose bodies — and lives — have been changed by Precision Nutrition Coaching.

  Want to learn even more? Join the Presale List Today.

  During the Precision Nutrition Coaching program we’ll guide you through important, permanent improvements in your eating, exercise, body, and health.

The results?

You’ll lose the weight (and body fat) you haven’t been able to shed for years. You’ll build physical strength and gain confidence. And you’ll end up feeling like the healthiest, strongest, fittest version of yourself.

In other words, we’ll help you become your own version of “That Girl”.

Which brings us back to today’s article…

++++

So there’s this woman. She’s awesome. Inspiring, even.

She looks fabulous, confident, and comfortable in her own skin. She’s into Pilates or running or Crossfit or kale juice or something else that keeps her full of energy.

She rocks Lululemon pants and skinny jeans. Yes, even after three angelic children.

She totally, completely has it all together. And she’s the number one request from women who join Precision Nutrition Coaching:

I want to be That Girl.

We all know That Girl.

That Girl is a lawyer, or a neurosurgeon, or an international diplomat, or perhaps a stay-at-home mother. Whatever she does, she excels at it and is fulfilled.

You can find her on social media using hashtags like #honored and #grateful and #blessed — and she means it.

“Make me look like That Girl.”

Twenty-plus years ago, That Girl was Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

These days, she’s Jessica Alba or Eva Mendes or Kendall Jenner on Instagram.

And, on the home front, you might have seen That Girl at school drop-off, at the grocery store, or dominating the running trails.

(Of course, while she’s dropping off three well-groomed offspring, you’re shoving aside banana peels and empty soda cups to make room for your kid’s dog-hair-encrusted car seat. And you’re wearing your husband’s track pants with baby spit-up because they’re the only things that fit you right now.)

You can’t help but think…

Why does she have it all together, when I so clearly do not?

Actually, That Girl doesn’t have it all together. I know, because I coached her.

At a certain point, no matter who you are, coaching requires you to get a little bit honest and a little bit vulnerable. Yes, I’ve seen it all.

I’ve had women stand before me to get measurements taken, half-naked and feeling exposed in their underwear, without the soft lighting and baby oil used in photo shoots.

I’ve seen a lot of tears, even from the most rock-solid, wall-of-muscle types. (Think That Girl wouldn’t collapse into a ball of sobs on the floor of a public bathroom? Think again.)

I’ve heard it all. I’ve heard about the secret Oreo and Nutella binges, about the even-more-secret eating disorders, about the booze and the sneaky cigarettes and the injuries and the heartbreak and the crazy boss and the reasons why your mom always liked your sister best and why it feels like you can never measure up.

It doesn’t matter what size you are, whether you have abs, whether you know how to apply false eyelashes, or whether you’ve ever lifted a barbell in your life.

I’ve had your emotional throw-up all over me.

And it’s OK. It’s great, actually.

Really. You know why? Because…

“That Girl” doesn’t exist.

It’s easy to believe that Everyone Else is doing so much better than you.

After all, everybody’s social media feed tells you something different. Between Instagram and the fitness magazines and the “best booty beach body bikini bonanza” campaigns, it can seem like Everyone Else can handle their lives.

Everyone Else is losing weight or gaining muscle or getting fitter so much faster and more effortlessly than you.

Everyone Else has their shit together. Everyone Else has everything you don’t.

It feels like you’re the only person in the world with your problems. That it’s much harder for you than for everyone else.

But the truth is:

There is no Everyone Else.

You see…

No one can escape the reality of family and deadlines and the thermodynamic laws that govern metabolism.

Not Jessica Alba, not Eva Mendes, not anyone.

That Girl doesn’t exist the way you think she does.

We are all imperfect, wonderful, messy, very-much-human beings with hopes and fears and desires and neuroses and jobs and lives and kids and dogs or cats and family demands and toilets that need unclogging and lines-becoming-wrinkles and hangnails and alarms that go off too early and a love of chocolate-chip cookies… and all the rest of reality.

None of it gets easier with make-believe.

It’s only once we’re able to be honest about what’s going on in their lives — to stop worrying about being the only person who isn’t fit enough, smart enough, together enough, getting enough things done in a day, a good enough mom / wife / worker, whatever — that we can start becoming our own versions of That Girl.

Want to know how it’s done? Check out these 6 steps.

Step 1. Reconsider your expectations.

I have good news for you, and I have bad news.

The good news is, if you’re looking to get into reasonable, moderate shape — or even pretty good shape — you are completely capable of doing so.

You can regain control of your life and your habits. You can overcome emotional eating issues. You can take care of others while still taking care of yourself. In fact, you can even build a body that you love, and are proud of.

I know. I know. That body-love probably seems crazy and impossible right now. But with some small, consistent changes, and support, these things are totally doable.

On the other hand, getting cover-model lean and ripped (especially if you want it to happen overnight and especially if you want it to last longer than 24 hours) probably won’t be worth your while.

As we explored in our article The Cost of Getting Lean, getting into magazine-cover shape is intense. You have to give up a lot of your life to do this.

You eat out of Tupperware. You measure everything that goes into your mouth. Your entire routine revolves around eating (or not eating), working out, and sleeping so you have enough energy to work out again.

Sure, some people do this successfully. You could get Cameron-Diaz-ripped if you literally had nothing else to prioritize in your life.

But here’s the secret: Those people you see in the magazines (the people you imagine are “Everybody Else”) are professionals who make their living that way. 99.99 percent of us are not those people.

Those pros only look like that for a few hours or days. They pour thousands of hours and dollars into the project of getting super lean and ripped. Which means that even the 0.01 percent still don’t look like that all the time.

Nor are their lives awesome. In fact, arguably, their lives are much less awesome than you think. They’re eating three ounces of plain cold chicken out of a Ziploc bag at a family barbecue before they go and do their second workout of the day.

In short:

Getting into slightly better shape, or a slightly healthier routine, doesn’t take much effort. That may be what is realistic for most of us, right now.

Getting into epic shape takes tremendous sacrifice… and kinda sucks. It probably isn’t worth it for most of us, right now.

Getting into epic shape creates other problems. Because of the demands of their job, cover models are often less happy, healthy, and balanced than the average person. (If you’ve ever chased this dream, you may have discovered this firsthand in the form of workout injuries, anxiety and depression, disordered eating, hormonal disruption, social isolation, and a host of other problems.)

So if magazine covers are off the table at the moment, what can you do?

Step 2. Find new ‘That Girl’ inspiration.

How about your kid’s preschool teacher? She’s on her feet all day, spends recess playing tag with 4-year-olds, and has patience and calm like you’ve never seen. How does she keep up her energy?

Or the mom on your block who always seems like she’s having fun playing with her kids, and not afraid to get goofy or messy or even a little scratched up in the process. Does she have any advice for you?

What about the seventy-something who’s aging so gracefully? What has her daily routine looked like throughout the years?

Or consider your neighbor who’s so good at growing her own veggies — and always willing to share her sun-ripened tomatoes with you.

When our clients shift their perspective to “good enough”, “a little bit better”, or “just practicing”, their progress tends to pick up noticeably.

Why? They’re able to focus on something that actually works: small moments of health, fitness, and wellness that they can do… today.

Success is almost always built from putting small things on top of small things on top of small things… until they’re transformed into big things.

Step 3. Learn to be OK with being “not OK”.

Nobody really has it all together; certainly not all the time. And we’re all at least a little bit “not OK”.

And that, paradoxically, is totally OK.

When you’re a Precision Nutrition Coaching client you’ll hear phrases like:

Step into the discomfort.

Let things be a bit messy.

You are human. You are normal. You are not a weirdo. You are not alone.

You’ll also hear questions like:

How might you make things a little bit simpler for yourself?

What does it feel like to sit with the discomfort of change?

How could you stretch yourself just a bit?

We help you deal with that “not OK-ness” because life is never going to be completely OK, 100 percent of the time.

It’s not going anywhere. Grappling with pain — whether that’s actual pain and suffering, or just small daily annoyances — is part of being human.

As adults, we recognize life’s complexity and richness. Wanting to “be perfect” or “have it all” is not an adult wish. It’s a child wish: to have all the toys, all the time, even your sister’s.

Everyone has a struggle, even That Girl. You might just not see it.

For instance:

48% of our female clients take prescription medication.

Of those taking meds, 33% take antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication.

36% of our clients have injuries. And many struggle with chronic pain.

27% of our female clients are over 50. (Even if you’re healthy, aging brings its own challenges.)

In addition, many of our female clients struggle with a “let’s call it complicated” relationship with food.

Plus, they feel overdrawn. After work, family, and household responsibilities, they often don’t feel like they have much left over for themselves. And despite all their knowledge about food and fitness, they struggle to be consistent and take care of themselves the way they’d like.

Many of these challenges are invisible. You often can’t see pain or disability. You often can’t see psychological distress. Unless you see someone pop a pill, you don’t know what they’re taking.

And guess what — the PN staff struggle with the exact same things.

We have injuries. Or had them. Or will have them.

We’ve struggled with mental and emotional health sometimes. Or often.

We’ve struggled with addictions — whether that’s to work, or exercise, or food, or alcohol, or anything else that someone could get hooked on.

We’ve gained too much weight, or been scrawny, or gone weeks or months without working out.

We’ve been the ones wearing the baby barf sweatpants.

No matter what the challenge is, at least a few of us have faced it.

And remember, That Girl, who looks so fit and healthy, may be in the middle of a long and difficult journey.

Like the cancer survivors whom we coached through post-treatment rehab.

Like people who are coming back from an injury or illness.

Like people who just have so much on their metaphorical plate, and feel every emotion — stress, happiness, sadness, you name it — as hunger.

No matter how someone looks, you don’t know what it’s taken to get where they are today. We’re all out here in the field together. Trying our best under imperfect circumstances.

Accepting imperfection is your ticket to being your version of That Girl.

Step 4. For certain symptoms, explore deeper.

It’s OK to not be OK. None of us are 100 percent OK. At the same time, sometimes things are really not-OK, including:

chronic insomnia or poor quality sleep

chronic pain or lack of mobility

frequent injuries and/or illnesses

chronic and debilitating depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns

chronic social isolation and relationship difficulties

chronic lethargy and lack of energy

not menstruating (if you should be, i.e you’re not pregnant or post-menopause)

feeling like you need alcohol or recreational drugs to function

concerns with food, eating, and/or exercise that seem to be taking over your life and/or harming your health…

Sometimes, being in the depths of not-OK — maybe it’s triggered by a horrendously stressful situation at work, getting injured, or having lots of family obligations to fulfill — is the wake-up call we need to start working on being a little more OK.

Pay attention to your “dashboard indicator lights”.

Are your current struggles and imperfections more like garden-variety ups and downs? If they are, that’s just fine. It’s all part of being human.

On the other hand, if something feels really off, you might need a little extra help. You might talk to a trained coach, counselor, or other health care professional.

Step 5. Chase your awesome.

It’s not all-or-nothing. If you can’t do an exercise or make the healthy dish you found on Pinterest, don’t let it be a reason to do nothing.

Find a work-around. Get help if you need it. Trust yourself to devise a system that works for you. For example…

If your knees aren’t as sturdy as they used to be, think about branching out from your usual running routine. Or ask a coach how an exercise can be modified.

If you don’t like cooking or working out alone, find someone else to do this with. Grab a friend for Sunday batch-cooking day, or check out a group class.

Having trouble “finding time” for things? Get out a calendar and start planning. Book appointments with yourself. Track your time so you spot inefficiencies. Set alarms and reminders, stick Post-it notes, do whatever it takes.

Everyone has to work at it, even That Girl. Especially at the beginning.

People hate the feeling of exercise when they’re out of shape. People suck when they start a new sport. No one is good at squats the first time.

But it’s not until we can accept how things are right now — including how lost, overwhelmed, and vulnerable we sometimes feel — that we can change.

If we are willing to start where we are, a whole bunch of truly amazing things can happen:

We discover we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. We can ask for help (and receive that help graciously).

We evolve past an “all-or-nothing” attitude, to see the tiny joys and achievements that are everywhere.

We start to notice small improvements — in our bodies, our behavior, and our mental attitude. And feel really, really good about these things.

We can pick ourselves up after we fall down, and have the courage to keep going. Our confidence increases and we feel stronger and more resilient.

We start to do the things we didn’t think we could do. We look better, feel better, and discover that, somewhere along the way, we became…

… our own, unique, imperfect version of That Girl.

How did we do it?

By finding our own awesome.

Looking for it. Chasing it. Making it happen.

Right here, right now. In the middle of our messy, “so-not-That-Girl” lives.

What to do next

Most women I’ve coached spend a lot of time thinking about That Girl. But instead of feeling inspired, they feel paralyzed. That’s when we focus on the following:

1. Don’t get hung up on failures.

Most people who enroll in Precision Nutrition Coaching feel like they’ve “failed” at losing weight and getting in shape a bunch of times by the time they come to us.

For women, that leads to lots of negative feelings — especially shame and sadness.

But when I look at you, I don’t see a “failure”. I see hope, courage and persistence. Because after every time you’ve fallen off the wagon, even if you’ve fallen so hard that your head is still spinning, you get back up. You keep trying. You keep hoping.

I don’t see every time you ended a fitness program or a nutrition plan. I see every time you tried to start again.

Now that’s courage. So I don’t have to “inspire” or “motivate” you. Your hope springs eternal.

As a coach, my job is to help you start better, and keep going on the right path — a path that works for you, and your busy, messy, real, “imperfect” life.

And, at Precision Nutrition, we want to help you learn and discover what does work for you, so you can just keep on doing it, and enjoying it. Finding the right path for your unique needs is what will help you regain ownership over your body, your health, and your “That Girl-ness”.

2. Think about what success looks like for you.

Instead of an imaginary, plastic, magazine-cover That Girl, imagine yourself… living the kind of life you want to live.

Be specific. What is That Girl doing at 3pm on a Tuesday? What does she do, or think about, or remember, when she wakes up in the morning? What does she have for lunch?

How does she think about the world? What kinds of decisions does she make about her life? What kinds of adventures does she have, and what makes those possible?

For example… is she lifting heavy weights and rocking tank tops? Doing ‘mud runs’ with her kids? Finally getting rehab for her old shoulder injury and actually doing chin-ups? Hiking in the Andes?

Don’t box yourself in with a rigid, narrow ideal. Go big and zesty with your imagined future. That Girl is having a juicy life. How?

3. Build workarounds / bridges on the path to That Girl.

OK, now, break that inspirational role model’s daily routine into very, very tiny pieces.

Maybe you imagined what she had for lunch. Now imagine her just opening the fridge. In that moment, what is she thinking? What is she doing? Start there, in that small moment.

Maybe you imagined what she did for her exercise, like hiking a gorgeous outdoor trail, or surfing, or tango dancing. Now imagine her just putting her hiking boots on, or stepping into the surf. In that moment, what is she thinking? How is she taking on this adventure? Start there, in that small moment.

Maybe your version of “surfing” today is dipping your toes in the local pool at the Y. Maybe your version of mountain climbing today is walking your aging pug up a stiff hill. Maybe your version of sexy tango today is wiggling your slightly arthritic hips to “Bootylicious” as you make dinner for the kids. Good enough. Now you’ve started.

Become an engineer of your life: Start with the outcome you want, and work backward. Break that outcome down into tinier and tinier pieces until you arrive at something you can do in the next five minutes to work towards that goal, and that life, and that ultimate adventure.

Take one small problem at a time — one barrier to eating well or working out, and play with different ways to solve it. How can you overcome that one obstacle today? Can you do it again tomorrow?

4. Just start acting like That Girl.

Adopt her confidence. Assume you’re capable of the things she is. Strut a little when you walk. Cruise hiking boot websites and dream of mountains. Whisper to yourself that you, and not cruel fate, are the boss of your life.

Would That Girl do an extra rep or an extra 100 meters? Would That Girl sign up for a Zumba class even though she steps on her own feet? Would That Girl wear the crazy-colored workout tights that she loves, even though some jerk told her she had a big bum when she was 15?

How would That Girl kick the world in the ass today? And how can you at least start to pretend to do the same… until you practice so much, you forget that kicking the world in the ass wasn’t your natural habit?

No, you can’t lose 40 pounds or get ripped overnight. But if you just take on a few of That Girl’s habits, one at a time and little by little, you may eventually find yourself living a much more fabulous life in a much stronger, happier, healthier body.

5. Start assembling your team.

Truth: Life is not a do-it-yourself project. Nobody — not even Beyoncé — is that independent.

So, ask yourself:

Who do you need in your life to help you become the person you want to be?

What support systems will you need to become your own version of “That Girl”?

Do you need to add people to your “Project OK” team? Such as a trusted buddy or family member, a coach, counselor, or other health care provider? If so, find them and share your vision with them. Ask for what you need. Let them help.

Change does not happen spontaneously. Along with helpers, you need systems. Things that remind you, guide you, help you, fill in the gaps for you, and generally help you stay more or less on track.

Start actively seeking out the support systems that will help you get to where you want to go.

Want help becoming the healthiest, fittest, strongest version of you?

Most people know that regular movement, eating well, sleep, and stress management are important for looking and feeling better. Yet they need help applying that knowledge in the context of their busy, sometimes stressful lives.

That’s why we work closely with Precision Nutrition Coaching clients to help them lose fat, get stronger, and improve their health… no matter what challenges they’re dealing with.

It’s also why we work with health, fitness and wellness professionals (through our Level 1 and Level 2 Certification programs) to teach them how to coach their own clients through the same challenges.

Interested in Precision Nutrition Coaching? Join the presale list; you’ll save up to 54% and secure a spot 24 hours early.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Coaching on Wednesday, June 6th, 2018.

If you’re interested in coaching and want to find out more, I’d encourage you to join our presale list below. Being on the list gives you two special advantages.

You’ll pay less than everyone else. At Precision Nutrition we like to reward the most interested and motivated people because they always make the best clients. Join the presale list and you’ll save up to 54% off the general public price, which is the lowest price we’ve ever offered.

You’re more likely to get a spot. To give clients the personal care and attention they deserve, we only open up the program twice a year. Last time we opened registration, we sold out within minutes. By joining the presale list you’ll get the opportunity to register 24 hours before everyone else, increasing your chances of getting in.

If you’re ready to change your body, and your life, with help from the world’s best coaches, this is your chance.

[Note: If your health and fitness are already sorted out, but you’re interested in helping others, check out our Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification program].

The post I want to be ‘That Girl’. How you can successfully turn body envy into action. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

I want to be ‘That Girl’. How you can successfully turn body envy into action. published first on