#i *adore* writing gore and stuff like that and it always goes so well

[zeawesomebirdie]

I have no idea how I keep forgetting that I get nauseous when I write fics that involve vomiting, but I do manage to keep forgetting only to be viscerally reminded as soon as I hit the scene that involves said vomiting 😔

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Hell House | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, unwanted sexual advances toward reader (nothing crazy, just uncomfortable flirtation)

Word Count: 6125

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After leaving John and the Daevas behind, you and the boys began heading to Texas to investigate a potential case.

Sam slept in the front seat of the car as Dean cruised down Interstate 35. He looked at you suspiciously, smirking in the rearview mirror.

“What?” you whispered.

“Watch this,” Dean told you, grabbing a plastic spoon from the backseat next to you and put it in Sam’s mouth. Snickering, he took a picture with his phone before turning the music up loud. You rolled your eyes and laughed as Sam jerked up waving his arms and trying to spit the spoon out.

“Ha ha, very funny,” the younger Winchester said un-amusedly.

Dean gave what you could only describe as a giggle. You thought it was adorable. “Sorry, not a lot of scenery here in East Texas; kinda gotta make your own.”

“Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not going to start that crap up again,” Sam stated.

“Start what up?” you asked.

“Prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates,” Sam explained to you.

Dean mocked, “Aw, what's the matter Sammy, scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?” replied Dean.

“Alright, just remember you started it.”

“Ah ha, bring it on baldy.”

“Guys, I am not going to mediate or participate in a prank war,” you jumped in.

“Nobody asked you to, sweetheart,” Dean flippantly responded. “But don’t be surprised if you get caught in the crossfire.”

“Dean—!”

“Where are we anyway?” Sam cut you off.

“A few hours outside of Richardson. Gimme the lowdown again?” Dean asked.

“About a month or two ago, this group of kids goes poking around in this local haunted house.”

“Haunted by what?” you asked.

“Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit,” he answered.

“Oh, great,” you grumbled.

Sam laughed. “Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this group of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar.”

You scoffed. “Oh, even better.”

“Anybody ID the corpse?” asked Dean.

“Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there the body was gone. So cops are saying the kids were just yanking chains.”

“Maybe the cops are right,” the older brother suggested.

“Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids' firsthand accounts. They seemed pretty sincere,” Sam shrugged.

“Where’d you find those?” you asked.

The brunet hesitated, seeming a little embarrassed. “Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas. So, um, last night, I surfed some local… paranormal websites. And I found one.”

“And what's it called?” Dean prompted.

“HellHoundsLair.com.”

“Lemme guess, streaming live out of Mom's basement.”

Sam grinned. “Yeah, probably."

“Yeah. Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit 'em in the persqueeter,” Dean quipped.

“Look, we let Dad take off. Which was a mistake, by the way. And now we don't know where the hell he is, so in the meantime, we gotta find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this thing out.”

“Agreed. But not on the mistake part— I’m not getting involved in that argument,” you said.

“Good call,” Dean responded. “So where do we find these kids?”

“Same place you always find kids in a town like this,” Sam said. He directed his brother to a fast food outlet called “Rodeo Drive.”

You interviewed all of the kids who had been involved in the incident, and the only detail they could agree on in their story was that a teen named Craig had been the one to introduce them to the house.

***

The next day, you went to the record stop Craig worked at and posed as interviewers trying to get his side of the story on a paranormal feature you were writing. Sam had asked him about the house he’d taken his friends to. 

“You mean the Hell House?” the teen answered.

“That’s the one,” answered Dean.

“I didn't think there was anything to the story,” Craig shrugged.

“Why don't you tell us the story,” Sam told him.

Craig quieted his voice and looked around for eavesdroppers. “Well, supposedly back in the '30s this farmer, Mordechai Murdoch, used to live in this house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to feed his own children. So I guess that's when he went off the deep end.”

“How?” you questioned.

“Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop but he just strung 'em up, one after the other. And when he was all finished, he just turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside.”

‘Oh, that’s just great.’

“Where'd you hear all this?” Dean questioned.

“My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from. Ya gotta realize, I— I didn't believe this for a second.”

“But now you do,” the younger brother finished for him.

“I don't know what the hell to think, man. You guys, I— I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, ok? That girl was real. And she was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, okay?”

***

You and the boys headed to the Hell House. It was more like a dilapidated shack at this point; it looked like it had been made with wooden boards that were probably rotting and hollowed out by termites. The path up to the house was muddy, and the house itself was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods. Add “woods” on top of “misogynistic ghost,” and you were thoroughly worried about this hunt.

“Can't say I blame the kid,” Sam commented, taking in the appearance of the house.

“Yeah, so much for curb appeal,” quipped Dean. “You gonna be okay, sweetheart? You look like you’re gonna hurl.”

You looked up at Dean. “Well, misogynistic ghosts that kill any girl who goes inside don’t exactly tickle my fancy.”

Dean’s tone became a little more sincere, but still filled with his typical sarcastic charm. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m fine. I’m a big girl; I can handle myself. Just uneasy, that’s all.”

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Sam asked. “I realized something back in Chicago.”

“What’s that?” you asked while you ducked under the police tape blocking the door. 

“You never told us where you’re from. You know we’re from Lawrence, so, what’s your story?”

“Honestly, Sammy, I have no idea,” you responded. “My parents never told me. I don’t have a copy of my birth certificate either. If it weren’t for my mom using my middle name when she was mad at me, I wouldn’t even know what it was. Don’t know my social security number, either. I’m not even confident the government has record of my existence.”

“Huh,” replied Sam. “How’d your mom even have time for a kid if she’s been hunting since you were born?”

You took out your flashlight and continued looking around while you talked to Sam. “That’s the thing, she didn’t. My mom was never really a mom to me, and she certainly wasn’t to my little brother. Even though he was only two years younger than me, I kind of had to fill the role of ‘mom’,” you explained.

Sam looked at you sadly. “I’m sorry.”

“Meh, it’s whatever,” you shrugged. “You got something?”

Dean was looking around with his EMF meter. It was beeping, but not making sounds indicative of a usual reading. “Ye-ah,” he sounded unsure. “The EMF’s no good.”

“Why?” Sam questioned.

Dean looked at the power lines just outside the house. “I think that thing's still got a little juice in it. It's screwing with all the readings.”

“Yeah that'd do it,” Sam sighed.

“Looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger here in his time, though,” Dean stated, looking at the symbols covering the walls.

“And after his time too. That reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries, but this sigil of sulfur didn't show up in San Francisco until the '60s,” Sam informed.

You and Dean stared at Sam for a moment before the older brother quipped, “That is exactly why you never get laid.”

You patted Sam’s shoulder. “I think it’s cool,” you assured him. 

He returned your smile. “Thanks, (Y/N).”

Dean moved to another wall with a cross with a dot in the middle. The bottom piece of the cross looked almost like a fishhook. “Hey, what about this one? You guys seen this one before?”

Sam shook his head, but you felt a sense of vague recognition, too. “Somewhere, I think.”

“Yeah, me too,” Dean said.

Sam rubbed the symbol. “It's paint. Seems pretty fresh too.”

Dean sighed. “I don't know, Sam. You know I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but... the cops may be right about this one.”

A sudden noise had you on high alert. You and Dean flanked one side of the door, guns drawn, and Sam took the other. Dean nodded, and the three of you burst through only to be met with blinding lights in your eyes.

“Oh, cut. It's just a coupla humans,” a nasally male voice said. 

The two men before you both donned backpacks and baggy cargo pants. They were around your height and seemed like complete involuntarily-celibate nerds to you.

“What are you guys doing here?” the same guy asked. He held an electrical device in one hand while the other man held a video camera.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Dean’s gruff reply came.

“Uh, we belong here; we're professionals?” the man said matter-of-factly.

You scoffed. “Professional what?”

The man eyed you up and down before answering, and you fought the cringe crawling up your spine. “Paranormal Investigators.” He handed you a business card. “There you go, take a look at that, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that,” you gritted through your teeth.

Dean took the card from you, saying, “Easy, tiger.” He read it and muttered, “Oh, you gotta be kidding me.”

“Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spengler? Hellhoundslair.com. You guys run that website,” Sam noted.

The man who had been looking you up and down who’d identified himself as Ed nodded proudly.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, we're huge fans,” Dean grinned.

“And ahh, we know who you guys are too,” Ed said confidently.

You shot a sideways glance to Dean. “Oh yeah?”

“Amateurs.”

You and Dean immediately lost interest.

Ed continued, “Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills.”

“Yep. So if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here,” Harry finished.

“Really? What have you got so far?” you asked.

“Harry, why dontcha tell 'em about EMF?”

Sam played dumb, too. “EMF?” You could tell he was fighting a smile.

“Electromagnetic field? Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector. Like this bad boy right here.” Harry gestured to the machine Ed was holding, who turned it on.

“Whoa. Whoa. It's 2.8mg,” Harry noted.

“2.8. It's hot in here,” Ed grinned.

Dean whistled in mock admiration. “So you guys ever really seen a ghost before, or…?”

“Once. We were, uh— We were investigating this old house and we saw a vase fall right off the table—” 

“By itself,” Harry finished.

“Well, we, we we we didn't actually see it, we heard it. And something like that… it, uh… it changes you,” Ed said solemnly.

“Yeah. I think I get the picture. We should go, let them get back to work,” Dean broke their stupor. “C’mon, (Y/N).”

He led you and his brother out of the room with the two guys in it. Dean stood behind you protectively.

“What?” you asked him as he led you out of the house.

“Didn’t like how he was looking at you,” he grumbled before seeming to realize what he had just admitted. “And… uh, misogynistic ghosts, and all.”

A smile spread across your face. “Thanks.”

***

You and the boys headed to a diner for some cheap burgers and beer before you decided to hit the road. You couldn’t find any missing persons matching the description of the Jane Doe that had been in the house, nor could Sam find anything on a Mordechai Murdoch. The real man had existed under a different name. You ruled the case a bust, and just wanted to relax a little before leaving town. 

“How’s that thing on your leg healing?” Dean asked you, referencing the deep gashes you’d received in Chicago.

“Meh, it’s okay,” you shrugged, taking a sip of your beer. “It’s way better than it was a few days ago.”

“Good,” he nodded before clearing his throat. “So? Sammy, you got anything?” 

His brother was scrolling the internet in search of a new case when something caught his attention. “Dude.”

“What?” you and Dean asked in unison.

“The Hell House.”

***

Emergency vehicles and officials hurried about, interviewing witnesses and wheeling out a stretcher with a body bag on it. The sinking feeling you got from the Hell House returned to your stomach as you and the boys approached it.

“What happened?” Dean asked a bystander.

“A couple of cops say a girl hung herself in the house,” explained the bystander. “She was a straight A student with a full ride to UT, too. It just don't make sense.” He walked away from the two of you.

“I don’t understand,” you started. “How could we’ve missed something?”

“I don’t know,” Sam shook his head. 

“Back to the drawing board, I guess,” Dean sighed.

You waited for the emergency vehicles to clear out and allow you and the boys the ability to get another look at the house. Two cops remained guarding it, though, to which Sam commented, “I guess the cops don't want anyone else screwing around in there.”

You and the brothers were crouched in the bushes, trying to plan how to get in the house. You then heard whispers that caught your attention, and turned to see Ed and Harry clunkily approaching with cumbersome backpacks and gadgets covering them from head to toe.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Dean grumbled. “I got an idea.” 

You shot him a confused look while he stood a little taller and cupped a hand to his mouth. “Who ya gonna call!”

You almost burst out in giggles at his stupid reference. 

“Hey, you!” one of the cops called and took off running in the direction of Ed and Harry. The two guys turned and sprinted away. Well, sprinted as much as they could with their heavy packs.

You and the boys rushed into the abandoned house, passing each other weapons from the duffel bag. Dean was transfixed by the symbol on the wall. “Where have I seen that symbol before? It's killing me!”

“Yeah, me too, but we don’t have much time,” you urged him, slapping a shotgun in his hand and pulling him further into the home. You headed down to the basement and took in your dust-covered surroundings. You could feel your allergy beginning to get aggravated while you looked around.

“Hey, Sam. I dare you to take a swig of this,” Dean grinned, holding up a jar he found on one of the shelves.

“What the hell would I do that for?” scoffed the younger brother.

“...I double dare you.”

Sam just shook his head and continued walking.

You flinched and grabbed Dean’s arm at a sound coming from within a cabinet. Dean looked to you and back at the cabinet before the two of you took either side of the cabinet’s doors. At Dean’s nod, you threw the door open. Rats inside it squeaked and scurried away from the light of Sam’s flashlight. 

“Arghh!” Dean yelped. “I hate rats.”

Sam scoffed. “You'd rather it was a ghost?”

Dean considered, but nodded. “Yes!” Dean suddenly looked up at something above your head, and you shrieked at the sight of an ax nearly hitting you squarely on your forehead. Dean yanked you away just in time and shielded you with his body protectively. He shot at the ghost of the tall farmer wearing a colorless straw hat that wasn’t at all deterred by the rocksalt. He shot once more, but it was still there. And then the final time, Mordechai disappeared.

“What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rock salt?” Sam questioned frantically.

“I don’t know! Come on, come on!” Dean urged you and his brother. 

You ran toward the stairs, and Mordechai smashed his ax down through the shelves right next to your head. You raised your gun at him and shot multiple times, praying it would work. Nothing worked, and you narrowly missed another swing of the ghost’s ax before you fled.

“(Y/N), let’s go!” Sam called, running ahead of you. You and the boys sprinted out of the door of the house, only to be met with flashlights and a camera in your face.

“Get that damn thing outta my face,” Dean commanded before hurrying away again. You and the boys left the Hell House in the dust. 

“You okay?” Dean asked you when you returned to the car.

You tried to catch your breath, slumping into the backseat. “Holy shit,” you muttered. “I think so. You?”

He nodded. “Fine.”

“But Dean.”

“Hm.”

“You’re sweet, but I don’t need you to protect me. I can hold my own,” you told him.

Dean scoffed. “It’s a misogynistic ghost, (Y/N). I’m obviously gonna be a little concerned.”

You smiled fondly, but held your position. “I know. Just… I can handle it. You don’t have to worry about me.”

He just grunted in response.

***

The next day, you and the boys were hanging out in their motel room. You and Sam were at your laptops researching while Dean sat on his bed scribbling in a notepad.

“What the hell is this symbol? It's buggin' the hell outta me. This whole damn job's buggin' me. What was with those slit wrists? I thought the legend says he hung himself.”

“That’s what you’ve been scribbling all this time?” You looked up from your laptop. “That symbol?”

“Yeah,” Dean answered. “But seriously, what the hell is going on here?”

Sam jumped in, saying, “And the ax too. I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over?”

“But this mook keeps changing,” Dean added.

“Exactly. I'm telling ya, the way the story goes... wait a minute.”

“What?”

“Someone added a new post to the Hell Hound site. Listen to this. 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an ax before slitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in the house for eternity.”

“What the fuck?” you questioned, sliding Sam’s laptop over to yourself. “How the hell is he changing?”

“I don't know,” Dean broke in, “but I think I might have just figured out where it all started.”

***

Your next stop was the music store Craig worked at.

“Hey Craig? Remember us?” Dean asked the teen who was organizing records.

“Guys, look I'm really not in the mood to answer any of your questions ok?” Craig answered.

“Oh, don't worry. We're just here to buy an album, that's all.” Dean flipped through a stack of records, and you looked over his shoulder. You suddenly realized where he was going with this. He picked up a Blue Oyster Cult album, and you nodded in acknowledgment as you put together the symbol had been the logo for the band.

“You know, I couldn't figure out what that symbol was, and then, I realized that it doesn't mean anything. It's the logo for the Blue Oyster Cult,” Dean said, putting the album on the counter across from Craig. “Tell me Craig, you, uh, you into BOC? Or just scaring the hell outta people? Now why 'n't you tell us about that house. Without lying through your ass this time.”

Craig sighed. “Alright, um. My cousin Dana was on break from TCU. Ah, I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do. So I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls; some from some albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks. Then, we found out this guy Murdock used to live there so we— we made up some story to go along with that. So they told people, who told other people. And then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just took on a life of its own. I mean I, I thought it was funny at first but... now that girl's dead! It was just a joke, you know. I mean, none of it was real, we made the whole thing up. I swear!”

You knew he hadn’t meant any harm. “Okay. Thank you.”

You and the boys left an emotional Craig standing at the counter. 

“If none of it was real how the hell do you explain Mordechai?” Dean asked.

“I have no idea,” you responded.

***

The next morning, you and the boys headed out to get some breakfast and coffee. Sam was shifting uncomfortably every few seconds in his seat. “What’s your deal, dude?” you asked.

His response was a grimace before he explained he thought Mordechai might be a Tulpa. “Okay, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. Group of monks visualized a golem in their head. They meditated on it so hard they brought the thing to life. Outta thin air.”

“So?” Dean said.

“That was twenty monks. Imagine what ten thousand web surfers could do. I mean, Craig starts the story about Mordechai, then it spreads, goes online. Now there are countless people all believing in the bastard,” Sam replied.

“Now wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?”

Sam shifted again. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“People believe in Santa Claus— how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?” Dean remarked.

“ ‘Cause we’re bad people,” you remarked. Dean seemed convinced by your answer.

“And because of this.” Sam turned his phone to you and Dean to show you a photo of a symbol on one of the walls of the Hell House. “That's a Tibetan spirit sigil. On the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet they painted this; not even knowing what it was. Now, that sigil has been used for centuries, concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So people are on the HellHounds website, staring at the symbol, thinking about Mordechai… I mean I don't know, but it might be enough to bring a Tulpa to life.”

You shrugged. “That would explain why the bastard keeps changing.”

“Right, as the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes. Like a game of telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work.” Sam shifted at least five separate times in his chair as he spoke. 

“Yeah, because he's not a traditional spirit,” the older brother continued. “Okay. So why don't we just, uh, get this spirit sigil thingie off the wall and off the website?”

“Well, it's not that simple. You see, once Tulpas are created they take on a life of their own,” Sam explained.

“Great. So if he really is a thought form, how the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?”

“Well, it's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us. Check out their homepage.”

Sam showed you and Dean footage from two days ago. “Since they've posted the video, their number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone.”

“Great,” you muttered. “But I have an idea. C’mon.” You got up from the table and began heading away.

“Where we going?” Dean questioned.

“To find a copy store.”

Sam got up and began to follow you. “Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something.”

Dean laughed and walked after you.

“You did this?!” Sam called.

The only response he got was a laugh from his brother. 

“You're a friggin jerk!”

“Oh yeah!” Dean pumped a fist in the air.

***

After you hit the copy store to carry out your idea, you and the boys found Ed and Harry’s trailer park residence and rapped against the door loudly.

“Who is it?” Harry’s voice called.

“Come on out here guys, we hear you in there,” Dean called back. When the door opened, Dean looked over the two men’s shoulders. “Ah, would you look at that! Action figures in their original packaging— what a shock.”

You snickered,but nudged him. “Be polite.”

“Guys, we need to talk,” Sam said. 

“Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're ahhh, a little bit busy right now,” Ed responded. “But pretty lady, if you’d like to stay—”

Dean cut him off, gruffly saying, “Okay, well, we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website.”

Ed laughed. “Man, you know, these guys got us busted the other night, spent the night in a holding cell—”

“I had to pee in that cell urinal. In front of people. And I get stage fright,” the other goon chimed in.

“Why should we trust you guys?”

“Look, guys. We all know what we saw that night; what's in the house. But now, thanks to your website, there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai,” the brunet explained.

“That's right. Which means people are gonna keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person, somebody could get hurt,” Dean continued.

“Ed, maybe he's got a point, maybe—”

Ed cut his friend off. “Nope.”

“No,” Harry said despite his position moments earlier.

“We have an obligation to our fans, to the truth,” Ed stated.

“Well I have an obligation to kick both your little asses right now—” Dean’s face hardened, and you could see Ed and Harry nearly shit themselves.

You pulled his arm back. “Just forget about it,” you told him. “You could bitch slap ‘em both, I could tell them that thing about Mordechai, but they’re still not gonna listen. Let’s just go.” You turned away.

“Whoa! Whoa!” the guys called after you. “What’d you say about...?”

“Hang on a second here,” Harry said. “What thing about Mordechai, you guys?”

“Don’t tell ‘em, (Y/N),” Sam said.

“But if they agree to shut the website down, Sam—”

“They're not going to do it, you said so yourself,” Dean chimed in.

“No wait. Wait. Don't listen to him ok? We'll do it. We'll do it,” Ed said, stepping closer to you.

You sighed. “Look, it is a really big deal, alright. And it wasn't easy to dig up. So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down.”

“Totally,” Ed nodded.

Dean handed over some paperwork you’d doctored at the copy shop reluctantly. “It's a death certificate. From the '30s. We got it at the library. Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”

“That's right, he didn't hang or cut himself,” added Dean.

Ed’s eyebrows shot up. “He shot himself?”

“Yep. With a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he's terrified of them,” you said.

Dean continued explaining. “Matter of fact, they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds, it'll kill the son of a bitch.”

Ed and Harry snickered gleefully. Harry spun around and bolted back to the trailer. Ed followed more slowly. 

Once they were out of earshot, you held up crossed fingers to the boys. “Here’s hoping.”

***

You and the boys were waiting for Ed and Harry to put out the bogus story you’d given them at a diner later that evening. You sat in the booth between Sam and the wall, and looked over at his laptop while he reloaded the page repeatedly. Dean sat across from you and his brother, pulling the cord of a plaque on the wall of a fisherman holding a big fish. The fisherman’s mouth moved up and down when Dean pulled the cord. 

You pulled it again to stop it. “If you pull that damn cord one more time, I’ll kill you.”

Dean sent you a challenging look and pulled the cord again. You pulled it again in response.

“Come on, sweetheart, you need more laughter in your life. You know, you're way too tense.”

“What! I do laugh!” you pouted.

“Not as much as this guy.” He pulled the cord again.

You pulled it to stop it for a final time. “Don’t try me.”

Dean sighed. “They post it yet?”

Sam turned the laptop around to Dean. “We've learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdock has a fatal fear of firearms. Alright. How long do we wait?”

“Long enough for the new story to spread,” replied Sam, “and the legend to change. I figure by nightfall, iron rounds will work on the sucker.” Sam lifted his beer and you and Dean lifted yours as well. The three of you tapped them together.

“Sweet,” Dean said. He took a long swig of his beer and Sam grinned. The older of the two tried to put his beer down, but it was stuck to his beer.

Sam cracked up, as did you, and Dean stared at his brother incredulous. “You didn't.”

Sam continued to laugh and held up his tube of super glue. “Oh, I did!”

Dean shook his hand trying to get the beer off and turned his aggravation to you. “You knew about this?”

You felt guilty, but said, “Hey, I told you, I’m Switzerland in this prank war.”

“Oh, it’s on, sweetheart.”

“Dean! I didn’t even do anything! I’m Switzerland! Look, I’ll even help you get it off your hand, okay? Stop pouting.”

Dean grunted, “Fine.”

***

Dean bought the laughing fisherman from the diner and brought it to the woods beyond the Hell House later that night. You wrapped the cord around a rock to weigh the pulley mechanism down to lure the cops away from the house.

You entered the house on alert with your gun drawn, Dean trailing just behind you. “I barely have any skin left on my palm,” he said snarkily.

“So you think Mordechai's home?” you asked as you entered another room.

“I don't know,” Sam answered.

“Me either,” a voice said from behind you.

You wheeled around and pointed your gun at the source of the sound. 

“Whoa! Whoa!” Ed said.

“What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?” you yelled.

“We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, ok?” Harry said.

“Motherfucker—” You were cut off by the sound of knives being sharpened coming from the basement. Your guard immediately went back up. 

“Oh crap,” Ed said. “Don’t worry (Y/N), I’ll protect you.”

“Oh, get off me, dickhead.” You shrugged his hand off your shoulders. 

He crowded way too closely behind you and followed you and the brothers to the basement door. 

“Ah guys, you wanna— you wanna open that door for us?” Ed grinned uncomfortably.

“Why don't you?” Dean turned to him, shooting daggers at him.

Mordechai burst through the door at that moment, holding an ax and screaming. You and the boys began emptying your gun chambers into his stomach, but the guns had no effect on him. You then swept the other rooms in search of Ed and Harry.

“What the fuck, didn’t you guys post that bullshit story we gave you?” you asked them when you found them.

“Of course we did,” Ed scoffed.

Sam and Dean appeared behind you.

“But then our server crashed,” Harry explained.

“So it didn't take?” Dean asked rhetorically.

The two men exchanged looks and murmured to themselves.

“So these, these guns don't work.” Dean laughed coldly and raked a hand through his hair. “Great. Sam, any ideas?”

“We are getting outta here,” Harry said. “Come on, Ed.”

Harry and Ed ran past you and Dean to the other room. You noticed Mordechai’s apparition following them before you heard two girlish screeches coming from their direction.

“Hey! Come and get it, you ugly son of a bitch,” you told the ghost.

“Gladly,” Ed said, not realizing you were talking to Mordechai.

You grabbed the hilt of the ax as he tried to take a swing at you, pushing against him with all your might. You were then pinned against the wall, the ax across your throat and constricting your airway, 

“Get out of here, now!” you told Ed and Harry. They sprinted out of the door as you struggled against Mordechai, who lifted you up in the air by the ax.

“Guys! Help!” you screamed.

Moments later, Dean appeared. He held up a spray bottle and lit it, making a plume of fire appear.

“Get out of here, now!” Dean told you. You ran past him. You met Sam in another room, clutching your throat.

“You okay?” Sam asked you. He stooped to get eye-level with you.

“Yeah,” you choked out. “Peachy.”

Dean sped into the room next to you. “Mordechai can't leave the house, we can't kill him— We improvise,” he said. He held up his lighter, flicked it, and threw it back into the room behind you. It burst into flames, and you ran after the boys outside.

“That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Well, nobody will go in anymore. I mean, look, Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt. It's fast and dirty, but it works,” Dean replied simply.

“Well, add arsonists to our rap sheet,” you said. 

“What if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?” questioned Sam.

“Then we'll just have to come back,” Dean shrugged. 

You turned back to the house and watched it burn.

“Kinda makes you wonder. Of all the things we hunted, how many existed just cuz people believed in them,” said Sam. You looked back to him, amazed at how he could be profound in the midst of your situation.

***

You and the boys made one last pit stop by Harry and Ed’s trailer park before you were planning to head out of town. The two guys in question came over to your picnic table carrying grocery bags.

“I was thinking that Mordechai has a really super high attack bonus,” Ed said. “Man, I got the munchies right now.” He turned to the boys. “Gentlemen. And m’lady.”

You cringed. 

“Should we tell 'em.” Harry could barely contain his gloating.

“Hey, might as well, you know, they're going to read about it in the trades,” Ed smirked.

“So this morning we got a phone call from a very important Hollywood producer.”

“Oh yeah, wrong number?” Dean snorted.

“No, smart-ass. He read all about the Hell House on our website and wants to option the motion picture rights. Maybe even have us write it.”

They put grocery bags into their completely overloaded car. 

“And create the RPG,” Harry added.

“The what?” Dean asked.

“Role playing game,” came Ed’s simple reply. “A little lingo for you. Anyhoo, ah, excuse us, we're off to la-la land.”

“Well, congratulations guys. That sounds really great,” Sam nodded.

“Yeah. That's awesome, best of luck to you,” you said.

“Oh yeah, luck. That has nothing to do with it. It's about talent. Sheer unabashed talent,” Ed grinned. “And you…” he sauntered up to you. “...Call me. You could have a bright future in film.”

You forced a smile at him.

“Later, baby,” he grinned. He got in the car next to his buddy and sped away.

“I have a confession to make,” Sam said as the three of you watched them drive off.

“What's that,” prompted Dean.

“I, uh… I was the one that called them and told them I was a producer.”

You and Dean laughed. “Yeah, well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat,” the latter snickered.

“And I may have been the one to put the cops on ‘em about the Murdoch house fire. And the fact that they don’t have a license plate on that car. Or on their camper.”

Dean and Sam burst out laughing at you. You joined in with them.

“Truce?” The brunet turned to his brother.

“Yeah, truce,” he answered. “At least for the next hundred miles.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @rei0812 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @more-espresso-less-depresso-og @mysticmyth

a lot of my tags are broken which makes me very sad. if you see that i've misspelled your tag, please let me know! and make sure you have my post notifs on so a broken tag doesn't stop you from seeing the next chapter!!

[space-writes]

✅🌅 for the ask game! - @viscerawrites

hey viscera!! ty for the ask~

✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

oh god, ask me to choose a favourite child why don't you TT_TT recency bias is gonna get me here, I've written so many lines i can't possibly remember them all wait what am I talking about, i have to put this one:

Pharaun walks his fingers along the coiled mass of his intestines, sweet circles in the viscera—Vizaeth hasn’t had a clit in years, but this almost makes him want one again.

i love it because when i came up with it i was like 'oh that's good' and also 'oh that's way too much' but in the end i kept it because...it was good. and it was one of my first real truly erotic gore lines, translating my skill at writing sex into writing uh...abdominal cavity fisting as sex.

i also like it because i adore writing trans lines like that; kinda fucked up, and also more like? hinting? it's not super subtle, but it's not a line that goes 'character is trans of gender look at me im a line about being trans!'

it pairs well with the other line like that from this fic, which i also really like:

After an age, the pain is nothing but a faint ache, dysphorically familiar—he hasn’t felt like this since he was Xunhrae, though even on her worst days she never suffered so intensely.

i just. have a love for trans lines that are more kinda aimed at Readers Who Are Trans (or adjacent) and know what I'm about. like those two lines are emphatically not written with cis perspective in mind, which is ALSO like the opening to claws, which i will take any excuse to share again:

The first time Vivien Webb breaks into Magus Mortem's, office, he still has tits.

🌅 do you typically known the ending to something before you start writing it?

the general ending? usually yes, i have an idea of where I want to end up. the actual ending line, as in the words? 50/50 and usually it's the bad 50 and i have to fight god for a final line alsdjasldj

with longer form stuff I like to know where I'm going before I start, even if how i get there is sometimes a surprise. i need to know it, though, because then it gives me an idea of what i need to include to get there (especially important for things like Obedience where I was writing single fics in a longer arc; i needed to know how the arc ended so I could plan out setting pacing when I was outlining)

with shorter fics, especially if I'm writing on ~vibes~, i don't always plan out the end. i just put the blorbos in the blender and see where they go

(send me fic writing asks)

[amazingmsme]

✅️

✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

Ooo this is such a hard one! Since I started my blog way back in 2015 (wow almost 10 years!) I’ve written well over a hundred fics, maybe even closer to 200! So picking my favorite lines is gonna be hard! Especially cause I know there’s some really beautiful or profound stuff in some of my older fics, but I can’t remember which ones, so I’ll be choosing from more recent fics

But this line from my first game of thrones fic was really nice because it tied perfectly into the title & just felt like such a Tormund thing to say

"Don't wanna laugh one last time before the end of the world?" he asked, adding his other hand to the fray.

& these lines from the same fic because they legit made me CRY

Only now does he realize all that annoyance and playful torment had been out of love. All they ever wanted for him was to feel free, and happy, and... loved.

He didn't appreciate it the way he should've back then. He wasn't about to do the same now.

& I just HAVE to mention restless til we reach home. Hermes is always such a blast to write, & I adore the dynamic he has going on with Polites! So this lil interaction was one of my favorites to write

"They love you!"

Polites scoffed and turned away, "Who died and made you Aphrodite?"

Hermes scoffed at such a high pitch, it was more of a shriek. "You are so lucky that was funny, but how dare you speak to me like that!" he asked, hands on his hips.

& basically the entirety of the last chapter! I think it’s my favorite chapter so far if I’m being honest. I really enjoyed writing all the gore & body horror descriptions & the action flowed really nicely. My favorite interactions were Polites & siren!eurydice & Polites with Scylla, both for different reasons.

With siren!eurydice I love the twisted mashup of suffering/wait for me & I even sprinkled in a bit of open arms! It flows really well together, but the whole interaction feels wrong & unnerving & I just love it so much, especially the dialogue lines that match the tune of the song, so this one is a little longer chunk

The illusion flickered, and for a moment, he was standing aboard the ship. Men frantically moved around him, distracting him before the illusion slipped back in place. He hesitated, "Eurydice, something isn't right. I know that you shouldn't be here-"

For a split second, anger flashed across her face as he questioned her. It was gone so quick, Polites thought he imagined it. "Relax, everything will be okay. Jump in the water and we can wash your fears away."

"Well I would, but I already died, and you know you did too."

"I would take the suffering from you." She leapt off the rock, almost freezing in the air before slipping beneath the surface. She emerged with a genuine grin, pushing wet hair away from her face.

Polites wanted nothing more than to jump in after her. And yet, he still floated at the edge of the railing. "As good as that sounds, it's just too good to be true."

"I can take the suffering from you." She spun around in the water, twirling in a tight circle as a water spout brought her up to his level.

"You stayed under ground, and we said our goodbyes." He tried to cling to logic and reasoning, but Eurydice reached out to him, cupping his face in her gentle hands.

"I will take the suffering from you." She pulled him in closer, pressing their foreheads together. She ran her fingers through his hair, holding him as if she was afraid he'd disappear. He hasn't been held like that in so long...

"I wish I could do the same for you," he said, reaching out to cup her face as tears filled his eyes.

& with Scylla, basically the entire scene is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written! Specifically the fight, but I really love their interactions, & the way Scylla goes from asking who are you to what are you, & I just think it adds so much weight to what Polites just did & it’s setting things up for later chapters & I’m so excited for what’s to come!

Thirst.

The monstrous instinct took over and teeth puncture through scales and arteries to drink its fill, making sure to shred its prey to pieces in the process.

Hunger.

This one acts completely starved, slashing through thick muscle and bone with ease. It shook its head ferociously as it devoured its brother until its dying breath.

The other two heads were circling the boat as Scylla cried out in pain. The wolves grew anxious and angry, snarling and howling in sync with their mother's mournful wails.

Bloodlust.

It was easier by now. He knew what to expect as hot blood burst beneath the pressure of his jaws, splattering on the deck with a satisfying wet slap.

Feast.

He bit and ripped with everything he had, swallowing chunks of meat bigger than he was. Large hunks fell to the deck with disgustingly heavy thuds while others still hung on by a thick strand of tissue.

& of course, I really loved the cliffhanger I left off on & the sheer horror of the crew at the end

He looked at all of them, then looked at Odysseus, frozen in complete shock.

He thought of the sirens, how they begged for their lives, how he begged for their lives. How he had looked at all of them the way they were looking at him now. And then, he bowed.

"Polites, just what the hell was that? That wasn't what we talked about!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is excessive violence only okay when you're the ones doing it?"

Sorry, this is probably way more than you bargained for lmao, but I just couldn’t help myself!

[tartagluvr]

i think i'll regret this.

so you want to know what this fic is? funny story i dont fucking know ... i just started writing with one single line of dialogue in mind and then suddenly it was 5 am and not midnight anymore. if there are any errors...no there aren't

warnings: angsty as fuck. what is wrong with me. implied death, swearing, vague gore descriptions, God is like. evil AND a they/them user so if ur a christian maybe skip this one HAH

word count: 9.2k

brief synopsis before you begin, you are lucifer's lover (not a important plot point so replace the name with another demon if you wish!) and a low level demon has been given a task to capture you and bring you somewhere. to where? well, to God. and God is not like the stories you've heard.

-

life in the devildom was suspiciously good. as in, the kind of good where there just absolutely has to be a catch.

all seven demon brothers adored you. at this point in time, you shared a pact with each of them. they treated you as if you were real family, not just found family.

as did the lovely angels, simeon and luke. they both loved you to the ends of the world and back, especially luke. he really needed a mature and older person in his life that wasn't an angel. teach him how the world really works, all that beautiful coming of age stuff.

solomon was just, well, solomon. you two were very tight knit as friends, allies, humans trying to survive the devildom. he was only two or three years older than you, yet he treated you equally. your relationship was as close to being real brother and sister as it could be.

but alas, you had been on edge lately. something was coming. none of the demon brothers agreed or understood what you meant. the only explanation you could give is that, as a human from the human realm, you are taught from a very young age how to use your senses. your parents engrave safety and 'stranger danger' in you as a child, and solidify those ideals as you grow. humans are by nurture and nature trained to become afraid of everything they don't know.

when walking home from rad, you always had at least one of the brothers wait on you so you could walk home safely. and on one instance walking home with lucifer, you sensed the low level demon approaching before he did. not only did that shock lucifer, but it worried him. maybe you were being truthful when you spoke of how extreme humans senses to danger are.

nonetheless you made it home safe that day. and the next day, with mammon. and the next day, with satan. now it was thursday, and there was to be a rad council meeting. since it was a specific meeting to discuss how the humans are progressing in studies, you and solomon were to just go home. diavolo wanted to ask the brothers when you two were not present, which was understandable.

solomon had to leave school early regardless, so that just meant you were to walk home.

alone, that is.

lucifer was especially wary of this after the whole exchange he experienced with you knowing danger was present before he did. but diavolo managed to reassure him you were safe, that no one would dare to lay a finger on you. with or without the brothers by your side, everyone in the entire realm knew you were off limits, punishable by death.

some demons just aren't afraid of death, i guess.

you stood at the gated entrance to the house of lamentation, d.d.d in hand to text the group chat saying you were home safe.

to the brothers surprise though- whence they arrived home you were in fact not there. but your d.d.d was. and in that exact moment, lucifer felt even greater fear then when he fell.

immediately half of them are back at the lords castle, the other half at home searching and calling for you everywhere.

diavolo is of course distraught by this news, but keeps his cool. if he is to step up and announce your missing status with a grimm reward if found, someones going to end up turning him or herself in for the money.

but then a day goes by.

and there is simply no you.

diavolo widens the search, to essentially the entirety of the devildom. nearly every demon and succubi ever is out during day and night, searching for you. lucifer had even brought out cerberus at one point, having him sniff your items with all three heads. that strange mangle of a dog sure did adore you, so he could find you no matter where you had gone.

on day three...lets just say hope wasn't lost, but diminishing. there was only around a 5% chance you were still alive, considering humans are so fragile when it comes to food, water, pain tolerance.

and yes, of course everyone practically begged barbatos to look into the timeline and try to spot where you were now, but there was a large blank space from the time you texted the boys to the time they arrived home. someone had been very clean and meticulous in taking you, now it was just a race against time to catch them. and hopefully, bring you home alive.

meanwhile, as brothers and demons alike are tearing the city apart, your eyes blink open.

it is incredibly bright. it stings like when you sit in a dentists chair and accidentally look directly into the overhead light without glasses on.

"ah, you're awake my child. good afternoon."

someone is speaking. the words are hitting your ears but you are getting confused and disoriented more and more by the light.

a large, warm hand comes down over your eyes, and you go to fight the person but instead feel instant calm and peace upon their skin touching yours.

"i do apologize for this being how we first meet, but nonetheless i am pleasured to meet you mc."

"who...? who are you?"

finally, you can get the words out. this demon must be extremely powerful, with how quickly they calmed you with their magic.

"aha," the person laughs, frightening you for a second. "my apologies again, this time for reading your thoughts. it is a bad habit i need to break from- and i am not a demon."

mind reading. are we sure right now that barbatos isn't behind this that confusion aside, you ask for a name, making sure to sound polite. you've watched so much true crime, you know that you can definitely stockholm syndrome your way out of here if needed.

"my name? michael."

a soft 'ahhh' leaves your lips. "like the archangel."

michael does not respond. instead, he moves his hand from your face and moves you to be sitting up.

"darling, i am the archangel. again, pleased to meet you."

almost immediately you blink around in the brightness, sitting up farther. confusion scribbled across your features.

"why am i in heaven? did i die? i kind of always thought i was enough of a hardcore sinner to go to hell, you know."

you joke in the awkwardness and surprisingly the jokes land. michael laughs again, deep and rich. he walks from behind you, coming into full view now. he is beautiful, his tanned skin glowing and shining, his wings- his wings are the most beautiful pair you have ever seen besides lucifers.

"you are not dead, no. you are just on a little field trip at the moment."

it seems there really isn't a time right now where you don't look confused, because michael speaks again.

"you were summoned. by God themself, amen."

it takes every ounce of strength in your body to not start cursing out the literal archangel michael. why the hell did...GOD kidnap you? this must just be a really weird fever dream, you did feel a little sick when you had gotten back to the house-

wait. wait wait, you never made it inside. now you can remember it clear as day; you walked home alone, the boys all stayed for a meeting. you had a pleasant walk, enjoying the breeze. once at the gates you sent a quick group chat text that you were home. you can still clearly see the cheering emoji lucifer sent back, it being the first time he used an emoji in front of everyone to you. but then as you opened the tall gate, you stumbled. a wave of sickness overtook you, and you fell to your knees in pain. glancing down at your legs, you finally notice you are no longer in your school uniform and that your knees are bandaged. after you had fallen...you don't remember much else. but you were so sure you had gotten home that day. so what the hell happened to bring you to heaven?

"i don't think i understand, michael. why do they want me here? the demon brothers must be worried sick about me right now."

at this michael shows an expression you hadn't seen on him yet- annoyance. oh, yea. you had kind of forgotten the whole demon brothers were once angels blah blah. michael can be as petty as he wants, you have your mind set on going home.

"i think i should really go back home. i can just, reschedule. yea?" michael does not seem to like these words either.

"i wish this were under different circumstances, but i must keep you here. i apologize, yet again. they shall arrive soon."

soon? how soon is soon. you don't even know how long you've been here, but michael quickly interrupts your thoughts to tell you you've been here three days. you don't even process the number because all you can think is that he is invading your privacy after having just kidnapped you and expects you to be respectful. and just casually say hi to God.

it isn't long after, maybe only a few minutes, that michael tells you they are here. they, being God.

another overwhelming lapse of brightness covers you, almost burning your bare arms with its intensity.

"hello, my dear child. michael, i will take things from here."

without a word, michael is gone. he just...vanishes into the light.

"so why am i here? wait. is that impolite to ask you?"

the being's presence is overwhelming. they are tall, maybe even taller than beelzebub. their skin is lightly tanned, and their hair is tied back gracefully. somehow, their eyes seem to flash every eye color at differing angles.

"i have called upon you to ask a favor, child. one that only you can succeed at in all the realms."

"cool. thanks for thinking so highly of me, but i really do need to go soon. what is it i have to do?"

there is a pause. the silence is chilling, as God themself stares into your tired eyes.

"you must do what an angel cannot- devastate and destroy. but do not fear, you will be secured a place in heaven upon your passing in life. this will not be written off as a sin, i assure that to you. think of it as a favor, and ill return it when you pass."

man, everything in heaven is just so confusing. why can't anyone talk like a normal person. you shut off your brain quickly though- if michael can read minds whos to say God can't, and you really don't want to be on this being's bad side right now.

"can you explain that in a way i would understand?" a beat of silence. "...please? sorry, this is new to me." God does not laugh like michael had. they continue to bore holes through your eyes with their own before speaking again.

"you must tear those demon brothers apart. you must be the one to devastate them. only you, are capable of this."

"no, i'm so sorry your honor, i don't think i can actually do that. besides- they would kill me if i even tried. no can do, God."

they finally change expression- an annoyed look, akin to the one michael wore when you mentioned the brothers to him as well. you just want to leave already, this being could erase your entire existence without even lifting a finger. and you kinda are starting to like the whole 'existing' thing.

"i must be going, my child. if for any reason you are not to complete this task, i will have michael do it himself. though that is a last resort, and you are well capable of this. goodbye."

"wait what? wait God no i don't get it-"

and they are gone. yay. now you sit alone in the blank white scenery, not sure how you are supposed to leave. why couldn't literal God have told you where the exit was at least.

but as you unfold your legs and begin to step off the platform you were upon, you fall through. the white light surrounding you was not actual light, but a mere illusion made by the clouds. you should have realized- you had been to the angels realm once with simeon and luke, and it wasn't just blank colors. that place you are now free falling from must have been just a temporary place, keeping you hidden from the brothers. no wonder they hadn't found you yet- none of them would think to search that high.

falling fast and heavy, you try to adjust your eyes to the blurry surroundings around you. its slightly purple, and dark. so you conclude you must be falling into the devildom. is this what it felt like when..?

before you can finish that thought, somebody is yelling, and you are unconscious.

the next time you wake, you jolt up and search the room panicked. lucifer stands up from beside your bed, trying to calm you. it takes a little while for you to adjust and ground yourself that you aren't back in heaven having a chit chat with God.

"mc, where were you? were you hurt?"

the words take a bit to find you, but as you are about to speak you realize the gravity of the situation. you were just ordered by God, your beloved demon's father, to destroy them. and you can't exactly just tell them about that. so, for the first time ever, you lie right to lucifer's face.

"i don't know. what do you mean where was i? did something happen?" perfect execution, pretend to be confused and unaware. lucifer and satan at least should know what amnesia is, and they will write it off as that.

"your outfit, do you know anything about this?"

it was then you realized that even in that weird heaven chamber you hadn't noted what you were actually wearing. you were just aware it wasn't your rad uniform. looking down at it now, you didn't even bother faking confusion because it was real.

you were no longer wearing a grey skirt, but rather a pair of silk white shorts. your top half was no longer adorning that awful green button up and jacket, but rather a plain white tank top. seeing how pristine and clean you appeared, you wondered for a moment if they had done anything to you and that was the reason to redress. you almost go to run your hands along your back, feeling for any scars, but are abruptly reminded lucifer is right in front of you.

"i haven't seen clothes like this in the devildom before. of course i don't know all about fashion, asmodeus can probably trace this garment to somewhere. that isn't the issue here," he pauses and takes a deep breath, in and out. "what the hell happened?"

your eyes fill with tears before you can even try to push them away, and lucifer is immediately hugging you to his chest as you cry out. he may think you are stressed, confused, upset. but you mustn't tell him that you are crying because you are scared. terrified, even. God themself has given you a task you don't know how to complete, and ordered that if you wont then michael will step in. what does that mean? is michael going to hurt you?

you cry out against lucifer's warm chest, getting your tears all over his shirt. neither of you care. he is just so thankful to hold you again, and feel your heartbeat. when you can finally calm down, he pulls away and puts a hand to your face. his thumb wipes away stray tears, and his eyes just look so tired. you can assume you look worse for wear as well, but you have never seen the hard working demon so drained.

"can you bring satan in, please? and maybe asmodeus too?"

lucifer slowly rises, hand coming to sit atop your messy head of hair. "i will go get them, i promise on my life i will be quick. you won't even know i've left."

and boy was lucifer telling the truth, because he was only gone from your room for what seemed like ten seconds.

he reenters, satan and asmodeus shuffling inside after. then, the door is closed. satan looks incredibly frustrated, asmodeus like he's been crying for three straight days. you almost laugh to yourself before you finally understand God's words.

'if for any reason you are not to complete this task, i will have michael do it himself. though that is a last resort, and you are well capable of this. goodbye.'

before you can even register what satan is saying you are back to crying. hysterical this time- you finally understand. and now you know you really cannot do what God is asking of you.

my dear reader, the brothers have been a mess for five whole days because of your absence, and the two days where you did not wake.

beelzebub actually managed to lose weight from not eating. asmodeus hadn't washed his hair in five days. leviathan was having panic attacks every day. mammon went out and spent all his savings on private investigators, and people who could track you down. belphegor didn't leave his room for even a second the entire time. satan was lashing out at every demon he saw looking suspicious. and lucifer, well. lucifer cried. for nearly two days, whenever he would go back to his room for the night, he would sob.

God wanted you to destroy all seven brothers? well congratulations, now you know how.

lucifer is quick to have you back in his arms again, holding your head. it should be comforting but it only makes you cry harder knowing the brothers will probably suffer greatly if michael steps in and does the job. but you doing it, isn't an option either. at least, right now it feels like a nightmare.

satan and asmodeus say they can come back later, when you are more rested- you all but scream out for them to please stay. so they come and sit on the bed with you and lucifer.

"satan," you manage through cries. "can i ask you a weird favor please?" immediately he says he will do anything. "is there a way you can see if there is any magic on me? like if someone cast a spell on me, i don't know."

the three demons seem to sit up a bit straighter as you ask this. of course they are practically dying to know what happened, you asking such a big question just threw them off. they must be thinking that some extremely powerful demon who hides from everyone had taken you.

satan scoots closer, and asks if you can stand up. lucifer and asmodeus go to stand behind him, as you stand on your fuzzy rug. and then, he begins chanting something softly, all while circling your body. you can see trails of gold and white starting to wrap around your arms, your chest, your legs. as satan sees them, he gets louder. angrier, even. lucifer just looks pale, like he has become ill.

with his palms facing upwards, satan slowly moves his hands into the air in an attempt to pull the magic binding you off. he quickly stops when they don't budge, and you wince in pain. if looks could break spells just like that, you're sure satans death stare would be enough.

but alas, the magic binding you is something they cannot touch without hurting you. whoever has done this has practically engraved each word of the spell into your skin, and you may be at risk of actually dying if they try to remove it right now.

"asmodeus, please go get the others. and tell the boys at purgatory hall. all three of them, especially those damned angels."

his words are scary, filled with a rage you had never experienced from him before. satan lets go of his hold on the bindings, and watches as they slowly sink back into your skin.

"what was that?"

of course you understand. but you can't let them know that you do.

"i would like to discuss it with everyone here, i'm sorry my love. just wait a little bit longer." lucifer answers you before satan can, and they both usher you to sit back in bed. lucifer brings your head into his lap, as satan sits with a hand on your leg. you know they are trying to console you and keep you safe, but the pure rage coming off of their auras is almost choking you.

you are on the very verge of sleep when asmodeus comes back with everyone in tow. you sit up a little too quickly after seeing everyone, and wince at the pain in your head. lucifer is quick to bring your head back down, telling you to just rest. you can hug and greet everyone when you're feeling better.

"so boys, we have a very large problem."

lucifer's voice is stern, commanding. his sin is definitely controlling at least half of him right now.

"and by very large, i mean otherworldly, simeon. luke."

the angels move from by the door to come closer to the bed, and see you. simeon goes such a shade of white you think he might be the one needing to lay down right now. luke just tilts his head. "huh? why is mc wearing that garment?"

lucifer snaps back at the poor child with a "you know damn well, don't you?"

you are quick to shut down the possible fight though, knowing already luke and simeon have nothing to do with this. its just a matter of how long you can hide who is responsible.

"lucifer, he's a child. please don't accuse them of what ever i just went through."

he looks down at you for a second, stares into your eyes, and then sighs. he knows you are right, but there has to be an explanation for this and it is strange the angels wouldn't know of it.

"mc, would you mind standing up again? i need the others to see it as well, yes?" you nod from his lap, his arms reaching down to straighten your body out. and then, you are standing on the rug as satan begins circling you again.

the demons, angels, and the sorcerer watch in disbelief as once again the gold and white lines begin tracing your body, as if veins suddenly coming to the surface. satan stops for a moment, turns to solomon. he is holding the bindings in place, not too tight and not too loose to hurt you again.

"what do you know of this? because to me, it looks like an ancient binding spell made to capture the angels that turned on Them."

satan doesn't even need to say their name, everyone knows who he means. luke gasps, finally putting it all together in his little brain.

"i'm...not so sure. it does appear that way, yes, but only beings like archangels or Them can control it to this extent, let alone cast it. do we know where mc was?"

"see, thats the thing," lucifer begins, the rage bubbling up again. "mc doesn't remember a thing. and we tore apart the entire realm. does it not make sense they were taken to the celestial realm? and that is why we could not pinpoint them?"

you start to feel guilty for hiding all the actual truth, so you let just a tiny bit out. "actually," everyone turns to you, startled to hear you speak after so long. "i remember clouds. i thought it was a white room, but when i stepped to the floor- i fell."

solomon seems to know exactly what you are speaking of, as does simeon. they both move closer to your body, circling around it themselves while satan still holds the bindings up. its beginning to sting just a little, but you want to appear strong. you can't let them know anything actually relevant to your kidnapping.

"that to me sounds like a heaven chamber, something i've been summoned to multiple times before." simeon speaks gently, worry and concern written all over his features. "i'm of course no archangel, just plainly an angelic being. so while i cannot create one myself, i can be summoned to them if something is urgent and we have no time to meet in the celestial realm."

all of the boys seem to just be repeating everything simeon said to themselves. solomon reaches out a steady hand and traces one of the lines with his finger. "satan, let them go." in an instant satan drops the bindings, and looks to see if you are okay. you put up a smile on your face, but all the boys watch as the golden lines disappear, leaving red burns in their place.

"shit, damn it," satan curses to himself in frustration, and quickly attempts to put a healing spell over you. solomon is quick to cut him off yet again. "depending on how strong this seems to be attatched , if we are to add any more spells on top it will just soak them up like a sponge. it will steal the power, and we will be doing nothing but making it worse."

even with the forced smile across your face, everyone seems to see how afraid you truly are. so deciding its no longer worth it to act strong- you let yourself go. right as your body is about to hit the floor beelzebub is catching you in his arms, cradling your head as if a child.

"they feel really hot, mc, are you sick? why didn't you tell us?"

as beelzebub speaks all of the others come closer, lucifer crouching down to feel your forehead. he concludes you do in fact have a fever, and orders everyone out, except satan- who will be bringing back medicine and some food.

"how…" lucifer begins. "how did i let them get you…?" the usually prideful and stern demon has a look in his eyes you can only describe as deep worry.

"i'll be alright, i know i will be. this isn't the end of me, you do realize right? we can fix this!"

another smile forces its way onto your face, but your lover sees straight through it. he knows you are strong, he knows how tough of a fighter you are. but some battles just aren't in your favor, and you both have become aware of that now.

you lay with him, head on his chest and arm around you tracing shapes on your shoulder. satan comes in every now and then to either bring medicine, bring or take food, and talk quietly with lucifer. its funny, in a completely unfunny way, that this is the first time you've seen them talk for so long without fighting. maybe God was right, that you are the only one in all three realms with the power to make or destroy them.

but you would rather not think of that right now. so you fall asleep in your lovers arms, praying to anyone but God that you wake up alive the next morning.

<3 drink water checkpoint <3

lucifer paces back and forth in diavolos office.

you had been brought to the lord's castle to see if barbatos has any way of treating you, and diavolo was contacting sorcerers from all around the realms. he was nearly as frantic as lucifer in the race to get this thing off of you.

back in a private guest room, barbatos has tried at least four different ways to break the binds. but each time he tries, it only causes you pain.

"i am so sorry dear, i think i must try something that isn't magic related. just a moment," he turns his back to you, lifting a book into the air with a finger and turning pages with his head turning. its fascinating to watch such a powerful demon in action, but you must not forget the reason you are here. tired and hungry, you decide to start listing off your own ideas.

"barbatos, sir-" "no need for honorifics dear, i am but a servant to the lord." you would laugh if this situation was anything but what it is now. "what if...what if i died? no don't look at me like that, i mean," you pause for a second. "remember when you sent me into another timeline to deal with the belphegor issues? and i died, but since you had sent me me into another timeline i could continue life?" barbatos shows no sign of emotion, but does nod his head along to what you are saying.

"but the thing is, if we do that, i don't want the brothers to know. so if you think my plan isn't batshit crazy and i've lost it, we can't tell anyone. we will just simply do it."

barbatos is silent still. yet his eyes seem to be thinking, processing the idea and perhaps even playing it out in a timeline in his mind.

"the issue is, dear, if i were to send you into another timeline, you would have to kill that version of yourself and then just stay in that timeline. and as you know," he approaches the bedside you sit upon, "timelines always have something slightly different about them. you could be walking into one where a different brother is in belphegor's situation, or one where you reside at purgatory hall, or worse, one where the exchange student is not you."

you mull it over for a few seconds. "wait, thats easy then, we just have to not go into a timeline where the exchange student at the house of lamentation isn't me! this could actually work, right?"

the tall man seems like he really wants to tell you that this isn't a smart idea, but sees the determination and excitement on your face. you think you've found your own way out, and must be so incredibly proud of yourself. so barbatos agrees.

"that will be risky. i cannot go with you, but the barbatos in the timeline you will enter should be able to see this coming and help you."

"great! oh lord, i can't wait to be rid of these awful bindings. couldn't they have at least been a cooler color?"

and he laughs. he laughs so hard he is nearly in tears, and suddenly the lord and lucifer have come in the room.

"what happened?" diavolo asks, almost on the verge of being out of breath.

"this dear human is just, well, so unique. i have no doubt that with their personality and soul they will get through this."

the two other demons look relieved, and lucifer's eyes meet yours.

"i'm going to be okay." you say.

"i know." he replies.

barbatos does not speak. for he knows you are both lying.

and that fact becomes apparent to the others when you get dizzy suddenly, hands on the bed to stabilize yourself. your chest burns, it almost feels like what you imagine being stabbed to feel like.

lucifer is at your side now, as is diavolo, but you can't make out faces or voices. everything is on fire, and as you shut your eyes, a scream leaves your lips.

the bindings begin to race around you once again, this time brighter somehow. tighter, more intense.

and apologies dear reader, but you have just passed out in front of not only your lover but the lord of hell.

<3 drink water checkpoint <3

you are getting really tired of waking up somewhere new.

its been a week and two days since your spontaneous kidnapping by God (which- in hindsight, you can't help but laugh randomly when you remember and it scares the brothers).

sorcerers have come and gone, witches have come and gone, even luke and simeon have tried their hands at removing the celestial bindings. of course, nothing works, and you are becoming increasingly more and more aware that there is only one true out of this situation.

another day that you had been with barbatos, you both discussed the possibility that even if you entered a new timeline, that doesn't mean this won't happen a second time. when beings like angels and demons have their eyes set on something, they will never let it go until it is theirs.

and you were getting weaker and weaker as time ticked by, slowly becoming afraid that the bindings could kill you. simeon and luke reassured you many a time that no celestial being would ever cast a spell that resulted in death. you had almost slipped up a few times out of anger, biting your tongue to not tell them their beloved God was who did this, and it was with intent to harm.

nonetheless, bindings aside, you knew what you had to do. it was just a matter of when at this point. you needed to be alone, yet discreetly say goodbye to everyone beforehand. you needed an execution plan, but couldn't settle on one because the thought of it made you feel physically ill.

there was too much going on. all you ever wanted was a little bit of everything all of time- but having your wish granted has made you go back on that ideal.

so you settled into bed, in your lover's arms, mentally planning. you decided to start right now.

"i love you," soft words barely above a whisper. he was most likely asleep by now, so at least that saved you from the embarrassment of saying it outloud to him.

lucifer was however not asleep, and a single tear of anger left his eye as you, his fragile beloved human, slept peacefully in his arms.

the next morning was beelzebub's turn. you got up extremely early to cook breakfast- for everyone, but mostly beelzebub. you arranged all his favorite breakfast foods, from devil pancakes to poison apple donuts. he was so thankful he looked like he wanted to cry as he hugged you.

"i'm just so glad you're back, i think your home cooking reminded me how hard it was without you." a sniffle. "sorry, i didn't realize how much you mean to me."

you wanted to cry with him. you did not.

leviathans room was your next destination, considering you were on house arrest with him watching over you until they could get the bindings off and find the culprit.

"levi-chan! can we play games together today? i'll do your school work for you too if you want, i kind of miss being at rad."

leviathan just about broke for three seconds there. he looked as if he was simultaneously pale as a ghost and red as a devil chili. and sure, he stuttered through his words telling you he would love to game, and that you don't have to do his work if you don't want to, but he got there eventually.

so you hugged him gently with a genuine smile- just not a happy smile. this was a goodbye smile, and thanks to leviathan's love of only happy anime, he had no idea this smile existed.

you spent nearly the entire day doing his work, playing games, cleaning up a bit, watching animes. exactly how you wanted this day to be.

when the other boys returned from rad, you had been in the kitchen preparing dinner. after being with leviathan earlier you had akuzon ordered some groceries and asked solomon to sneak back to the human world to grab your favorite books.

books in hand, you skipped up to meet satan as he came through the front door.

"satan! i'm so glad you're back, i ordered these for you."

he froze up, confusion on his features.

"it's just a few of my favorite books from the human world, i've always wanted to gift you some."

satan still had not moved. he didn't even flinch when mammon came running in the door, hitting his shoulder. when it was only you and him standing at the door still, he turned to shut it, then grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the music room.

"mc."

"please don't say you won't take them. i know you don't like gifts without reciprocating but these are just because i wanted to."

"mc."

"hm?"

"why does this feel like a goodbye."

his words were finite. it was not a question, it was a statement. it was a fact.

"why would you think that? i've still got like, six more months here."

satan saw right through your words. you couldn't risk anyone finding out your plan, especially not satan. it would only anger him, and he would of course tell lucifer. so you now had to do some serious damage control.

"if you don't take them i'm giving them to solomon."

quickly the books were snatched from your arms, and you laughed. it was a real laugh for once in a while, and satan knew that. so he kept this strange gift giving thing to himself, and went off to his room.

now it was time to go find the wild one, mammon. it had taken you a really long time to decide what to do for him, and him not freak out or hate it.

originally the idea was grimm- your savings from working at the devil library were quite large. but that wasn't meaningful enough, not for you. yes it was tangible, but it was also spendable. you had to find something for mammon that he wouldn't dare to ever sell or spend.

"mammon? you in there?"

you knocked softly on his closed door. your other hand behind your back held a dark velvet box.

after some shuffling from inside, the door was opened to reveal mammon. his hair was damp, as if he were just showering. "oh sorry, i can come back later." you were mistaken to believe him to be busy, as he pulled you inside his room and closed the door.

"so? whatcha doin in my room?"

you smiled up at him. beaming, actually.

"i got you something, um. here." you pulled the box from behind your back, mammon going slightly red seeing it. but he still took the box, and opened it.

"it's a locket," "no shit dumbass." mammon cut you off, laughter erupting from your body. lord, you really haven't laughed so much in one day for so long. these boys really did give you infinite reasons to smile.

"open it." mammon sets the box down to hold the small gold chain in front of his eyes, opening the small gold heart. inside was a picture of you two, dancing at diavolo's ball. asmodeus had taken a picture because of how sweet you two looked, like highschool sweethearts dancing together. he hadn't posted the image anywhere- keeping it to give to you for a moment just like this.

"i...jeez. wow. thank you, aha," mammon closest the locket, holding it tight in his fist. you skip over to his bed and order him to sit on the edge. carefully, you take the locket from his hand and clasp it around his neck.

"now even in six months, when i'm back in the human realm, you'll have me still here with you."

like hell you wanted to cry. you wanted to break down and have your first ever protector hold you, telling you everything will be alright. but then he may realize as satan did, that this is significant of an earlier than planned goodbye.

mammon's hand comes up to hold the locket, twiddling it with his fingers and thumb.

"you know, i actually thought i lost you. a second time."

he lifts his head to meet your eyes, your lips parted in an 'o'.

"and there was nothin' i could do about it. i just had to sit and wait for you to come back. alive."

you sit down on one of his thighs, stretching your arms around him. he hums in contentment, and you sigh into his shoulder.

"as long as you have this necklace mammon, you will have me. please don't ever lose it, okay?"

mammon nods against your neck.

so you chat for a bit longer, but leave right before the tears are actually about to fully spill out. you still have two more demons to speak with before the day ends, so you head to asmodeus room.

unfortunately for you, asmodeus has gone out for a modeling job. you will just have to catch him tomorrow morning.

now you head towards the twins room, the door being slightly open. you still knock, and wait for a response.

"mc? whats up, you in pain or something?"

belphegors words bring a true smile to your face. he is referring to how for the past week if you were in too much pain, he would lull you to sleep with his magic.

"no, i actually just want a good ol nap with my favorite pillow."

now its the demons time to smile, he really was like a pillow in the shape of a demon. silently he scoots over to the side of his bed, laying an arm out dramatically for you. happily you jump onto the bed, and into his arms. he holds you like he wants to keep you locked away and safe for the rest of your life, which now is funny to you considering what his ideals on humans used to be.

"ah, this is exactly what i needed."

belphegor agrees, pulling you closer. his body is so warm, just the right temperature to keep you from waking up cold.

"thank you for this. for everything."

"even for killing you once?" belphegor jokes.

"yea, actually." his arms go stiff for a moment. "i was reborn with a new understanding of life, demons, of you. and i'm so thankful that i got a second chance at being your friend."

belphegor lay speechless now, soaking in your words as if water when dehydrated. he may never be able to speak it outloud, but he adores and loves you the same way he loves beelzebub. the same way he loved lilith.

belphegor would be a lost mess without you in his life. but you aren't aware of that.

you end up waking up at dinner time, beelzebub coming to get you and belphegor. you had been on prep for dinner, so after you prepped it all- beelzebub was to cook it and put the dishes together. his food was always so amazing, you couldn't wait.

after dinner ended peacefully, you retreated to your own room this time to grab the box you had prepared for asmodeus. it had skin care, hair masks, some cute little hair clips, and a special note from you- for his eyes only.

he had texted the group chat at dinner that he wouldn't be home for a while, the shoot was taking longer than expected. that he would eat on set and to not wait up for him. signed off with a 'beauty sleep is important! <3'

so you went to his room, placed the box down carefully on his bed, and returned to your own.

tomorrow's the day, you tell yourself. its time to face this head on.

<3 drink water checkpoint <3

in preparation for this day, you had been looking for tickets to a live ruri-chan idol concert for leviathan. everyone else but him would be gone from the house for school, so you really needed him to go somewhere as well. it took at least 48 hours to find the tickets and them not be over a million grimm each. but you secured a front row one, center stage. and it was to happen today, so leviathan was sure to go even if last minute. i mean come on, thats his absolute idol.

lucifer really didn't like the idea of you getting leviathan tickets somewhere when he is supposed to be the one watching you at home, but gave in when he realized you weren't going to relent.

so with all the boys gone at school, leviathan off to a three hour concert, you began.

starting with the front door, all the way around the house you placed locking spells. you hadn't just straight up offered to do leviathan's homework for fun, you were doing it to gain access to his professor. you were secretly emailing him, posing as leviathan. asking him about certain spells, how to cast them, all of it.

and sure enough, it paid off. you even tried throwing a chair at one door at the back of the house, the chair breaking to pieces against the door. and not even a scratch was left behind. with somewhat of a sadistic smile across your face, you moved to the next step.

it was time to make the potion. one that wasn't instantly lethal, but would make your pain tolerance so incredibly high that even if you were hit by a bus you would feel nothing.

two parts ginger, one part fae wing, one part bats blood. mixed in with a bit of slime, and spit of a dragon. that last one took you at least three days to track down and order inconspicuously damn it.

while it boiled inside the pot, you began to cast a spell over it. this would not only enhance it, but hell it would taste better this way.

smelling it off the pot, it seemed as if it were becoming ready. so you set the stove to simmer, and went to change. you wanted to be comfortable, so you put on some sweatpants you had stolen from mammon months ago (take that, a notorious thief getting thief'ed) and a plain black hoodie from back home. you had washed it with your own detergent, your favorite one from the human realm. it smelled amazing, and was soft as a cat. maybe satan will want this when you're done it. eh, maybe not. considering your idiotic and crazy plan.

now comfortable, you waltzed back to the kitchen and put on some oven mitts to carefully pour the potion into a glass without it burning your skin. after enough was poured, you tossed out the pot to make sure no one else gets contaminated.

"woooh," you sighed deeply. it was time.

you blew on the dark red liquid a few times over, before lifting it to taste. it wasn't extremely hot, just the right amount of warmth. "it will be like drinking a nice tea. okay," you wiggled your legs and free arm around to shake off the nerves that were unfortunately getting to you.

without giving yourself another moment to second guess, you drank it. it tasted lightly of the ginger, but mainly like a blackberry due to the spell you cast on it. you were going for strawberry but hey, blackberry is okay too.

once that was empty you coughed with a quick shake of your head, before disposing of the contaminated glass as well. now you would have about 5 minutes to kill time while you wait for it to fully take effect.

into the music room you went, glossing your fingers along all the records on the shelf. seeing one familiar to you- it was a favorite song from the human world, lucifer had it brought here just for you, immediately you chose to play it. careful as ever you place it onto the player, and set down the head.

and for the next four minutes, you have your last dance alone in the music room to apocalypse by cigarettes after sex.

time seems like its slowed, as if barbatos has done that thing where he freezes time. it feels magical, like you are the last person on earth and never have to worry about worldly struggles again.

after that slowly comes to an end, you head back to the kitchen. once there, you see what you want. beelzebubs meat knife. its comically large, but looks so small when the giant man is the one holding it. you look it over for a moment before just going to your room already. there was no reason to stall for any longer, that would only bring about regret and resentment at yourself. and you make sure to put the same locking spell on your own door after you enter, just to be safe.

to test the potion just once, your finger gently slides along the sharp tip. and at first, you think you haven't actually cut yourself, until you see a small drop of blood. so this potion, however strong it is, is definitely blocking all your pain receptors.

you can't feel a single thing.

"okay, okay. woooooh." you try to stop mulling it over for maybe the fourth time. this is the only way, you remind yourself. there is genuinely no other way except for me to die, either by my own hands or michaels.

the knife is pointed at the middle of your stomach.

the knife is pressing against your skin, yet all you feel is just that. slight pressure.

with one final deep breath, as you breath out the knife makes a home inside of you. i mean, that thing is truly comically large yet you have somehow plunged more than half the blade through yourself and still don't feel a thing. even once you pull it out, and collapse to the floor, you don't feel any of it.

you do feel something though- fear. your d.d.d is ringing.

with hands covered in red you frantically reach around for your d.d.d, finally snagging it off the top of your bed. the caller id says 'catboy'. satan is calling you. and you fear both your choices here- if you don't pick up, he will know something is wrong and everyone will rush home. if you do pick up, you aren't sure how easily you can convince him you're okay right now.

eh, fuck it. you spell bound every door including your own. you watch as the call ends.

satan was rightful to call you, even if his timing was awful. all day he had this weird, sinking feeling in his stomach. he had felt it ever since you have him the 'not a goodbye' gift. so when you didn't pick up, he shot up and looked over to belphegor, who woke up all the way at once when he saw the look in satans eyes. without excusing themselves, they began to run. run straight into solomon actually, who immediately joined them once he felt the energy. it took no more than thirty seconds for satan to have all the brothers, solomon, and simeon rounded up. satan purposefully stopped luke from coming along- knowing there were so many things that could've gone wrong. for the first time ever, satan was protecting luke. you would have been so proud.

if you weren't sitting against your bed in a pool of your own blood, that is. as you lay, and your found family all but teleports home, something finally begins to hurt. eyes barely staying open, you look to the side at your right arm. those damned golden and white lines are beginning to trace you again, but way slower this time. and for some reason, the spell and potion you had aren't stopping this kind of pain. it burns, it itches like an ant bite, it feels like needles puncturing you over and over and over again. your entire body is starting to be traced now, and the lines dare to dance upon your face.

you scream. guttural, ear piercing.

and the now nine boys at the front door hear it. but they are too far and you are too tired to hear their screaming.

one binding line decides to draw itself straight across your left eye, another awful scream leaving your lips as it glides. you now only can see out of your right eye- if you can manage to keep that eye open. you try to rationalize in your mind that this is the spell breaking, thinking about how this is an amplified version of how it felt when satan tried to remove them by force.

and as if today couldn't get any worse, you forgot about the damn windows. you only remember you should've locked them when you hear a loud crash and someone yelling your name.

"hmm," you laugh to yourself. "my room doesn't have windows, jokes on you."

there are now seven (leviathan literally left the concert for you) demons attempting to unbind your door, while two angels chant prayer and healing through the wall. solomon you can't hear, because he isn't speaking. he is focusing everything he knows and has into disintegrating that damned door, a spell he has been working on for at least two years.

and today it seems is the day his hard work pays off.

"mc, PLEASE mc, why?" lucifer is the first one by your side, his gloved hands pressing down firmly on your stomach to hold back on bleeding. you wish you could tell him why- wait. you stop thinking for a moment and tune everyone out. you're bound to die anyways, right? so there's no more harm in telling them.

"I met God," you hiccup.

the entire room goes quiet, spare for satan gathering up medical equipment from your bathroom.

"They said I have to destroy you. all of you. and that," you pause again, this time to sigh. "if i didnt do it myself, michael would do it."

simeon doesn't even look like he wants to protest. when your single eye meets his, he knows shamefully you are telling the truth.

"the only way to destroy you all at once would be through me, my life. and i am not going to sit here waiting for some crazy archangel to decide its my time. my life, MY choice."

no one dares to speak. what would they even say? how do you tell someone who was told to die by God that you're sorry? you don't.

satan comes into view and begins working around lucifer's hands, but when satan's hand brushes against one of the binds he jumps back in pain.

lucifer, concerned, tells satan to come press down on your stomach so he can feel. so the gloves come off, and he touches your bare skin. he does not have the same exact reaction, but he does recoil his now burnt hand in confusion.

"why did you hide this? we could've helped you."

no, no you couldn't. you want to speak but your lips are so dry. they feel so stiff. so you just continue to blink with your only working eye left.

satan finishes wrapping you up, pouring a healing potion over your arms where they are burning.

it doesn't hurt that he is pouring something on you, but it does hurt that the binds seem to grow tighter, shrink up as he does.

when you begin to cough up what smells like your homeade potion mixed with blood, lucifer does not hesitate you pick you up and run for the door. his brothers and everyone are yelling, asking where the hell he is going, but they follow regardless.

lucifer takes flight, his four beautifully dark wings gliding the two of you through the windy sky. he does not speak a single word, only holds you like its the end of the world.

and for you, perhaps it is.

you aren't aware of how long it takes to get to the castle, everything just becomes a giant blur. you know you are now inside diavolo's office, his entire desk cleared off before you are set down on it. satan makes lucifer roll you on your side so you do not choke on your own blood.

"what in great hell happened? is this the work of the binding spell?" diavolo is engraged. furious that his program is going to fail, but more so that you, one of the brightest friends in his life, are bleeding out on his office table.

no one seems to want to answer diavolo, so you cough hard a few times before trying to speak again.

"its kind of a long story, God-" you are cut off by lucifer, who tells you to not speak and make yourself more ill. he then decides to explain all that you have told him to diavolo.

and diavolo looks as if he wants to go kill God himself.

you cough again, determined to still speak. "no one could have stopped this." but lucifer silences you again. it feels reminiscent of being a young child, trying to talk to adults and them telling you that 'the adults are speaking, go play'.

they continue talking on and on and you just start tuning out. focusing on your breathing, the way your chest rises and falls. every few seconds you can blurrily see what looks like satan applying more pressure to your stomach, or speaking another healing enchantment.

you want to reach out your hand and grab lucifer's, but you can't seem to get your arm high enough. it just keeps falling back down. and once you start to see the red of your own body had stained his pale hands, you give it up. you're already about to destroy them, exactly as God wanted. you will add no more fuel to the fire.

speaking of God-

"damn it," the smallest mumble leaves your lips, and everyone turns to you in shock that you are still coherent somehow. it has just now in your most likely last moments dawned on you that God is sending you to the celestial realm, and probably won't let you fall to the devildom. and it is very clear you are no simeon, no luke.

"i think i'll regret this."

_

[ ahahaah ... thoughts? (and prayers damn) i want to write a part two about the reader being in the celestial realm, how that would be, and their eventual escape from heaven to go back to hell. if you liked this i totally will so let me know! <3 ]

[rpersearch]

hi there! i’m a 27 yr old trans dude looking for 18+ rp partners that would be interested in rping jjba / jojo’s bizarre adventure! i consider myself a literate writer, meaning i usually type 3 or 4~ paragraphs / 1600 - 2000~ characters per reply. though, we all know, it depends on what’s going on in the rp too!

mostly looking to stretch my legs again with diego, however i rp as others. it’s been a hot minute since i’ve rp’d anything from jjba, but some of my favorite muses are diego (definitely the most fleshed out muse i’ve written for– ever lol), diavolo, mista, josuke, gyro…the list goes on! as a side note, right now i’m just looking for canon characters. i love doubling up on muses too!! i mostly stick with mxm pairings, but don’t let that discourage you! i’m very much open to all sorts of gender hcs! (as for ships...i'm really hoping to find someone to rp diejo with me... i have a lot of hcs about them that i'd love to share with someone <3)

i’d like to write an AU for SBR, but i’m also open to most settings. i absolutely adore post-apocalyptic themes, anything to do with gang shenanigans, mutant stuff, fallout-type settings, and deep plots with many twists and turns. i typically stray away from most ‘generic’ modern AUs, just bc i tend to get bored with them easily. i’m also open to a canon-based AUs too!

* i won’t go into too much detail in this submission, however please be aware that i enjoy writing gore as well as other harsh topics. we can always, always, always discuss limits & squicks. *

this is getting a bit wordy, so i’ll stop here. if you’re interested, feel free to shoot me a dm or interact with this post! thanks for reading!

- zac

[make-me-imagine]

Hi! May I please request a ship for Buffy The Vampire Slayer and for Star Wars?

My name is Tala! I am a 20 year old bisexual female. I am an introvert; I have to socialize a lot for my job so by the end of the day I'm exhausted! My love language is quality time and also maybe gift giving. I have every single birthday card I've ever gotten from a friend or from my parents, all the way from my 9th birthday! I think they're really special and I value them. Every little gift I get I strive to keep.

For my job, I am a dental assistant. I'm not squeamish around blood and in general wounds or gore. I honestly considered going to school for any medical position. I went through phases of wanting be a trauma surgeon or a vet. But I'm overly emotional and I know the work would impact my mental state. Despite having chosen to do something medically for my career my real passion is reading and writing. I want to write a life changing story. I want to write about ghosts and monsters, I love ghost stories and scary movies; I also really like romance though. I read cheesy romantic poetry or dark gothic poetry, there's no in between. The only thing I love more than reading or watching scary stories is writing them. Same applies to romance. There's no in between. I also play cello! I really want to learn harp in addition to that. I'm definitely a "fighter" type of person. I grew up doing Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu. As far as appearances go, I'm pretty curvy/chunky but I'm a little insecure about it; I am Latina so I have dark and thick wavy hair, just on the brink of curly, that I'm always trying to straighten. My eyes are boring af because they're brown. I've always wanted to change my eye color. I'm also 5'2 but my license says 5'3.

As far as additional "trivia" goes, I'm super nerdy so I have lots fandoms and specific interests. I've struggled with OCD since I was basically a toddler but I'm only just now getting the hang of getting through it! I'm very possessive and sometimes I'm a little (extremely) bossy.

Thanks so much in advance, I hope your inbox isn't completely flooded with messages ❤️❤️⭐️⭐️congratulations on your milestone!!!!

I hope you like them! Both ships are under the cut!

Buffy The Vampire Slayer:

This was a hard choice, but I finally landed on Buffy.

I think she could handle the bossiness lol but you get along really well and never step on each other's toes. She admires your caring nature and how much you care about people. She encourages your writing, and is always there to help if you get stuck or need ideas. She loves your hair no matter how you have it, and she adores your eyes.

Best-Friend: Willow. You two (along with Xander on occasion) nerd out over various shows/movies/books, and get along great.

-----

Star Wars:

Another hard decision, but I chose Poe.

I think Poe would actually really like the more bossy side of you, and would often bicker with you on purpose (never about anything serious, he just thinks you are cute when you get passionate about stuff.) He enjoys reading your writing, depending on if you let him read it or not. Poe is definitley a gift giver, and also keeps anything you give him too. He also loves listening to you play your Cello.

Best-Friend: Finn. Once you met him through Poe, the three of you because very close, and though Finn is not as close to you as Poe, you are like siblings in a lot of ways

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[ikeservant]

Hello hope you are doing well!!! Can I ask for hc for Kenshin, Ieyasu, and Hideyoshi (or anyone else you want) discovering that MC is a hardcore otaku who thirsts over anime/otome boys😂😂? Maybe Sasuke gotta help explain to the warlords what even anime/otome is XD Thank you all the time I love your stuff!!!

Ahh thank you so much!I love this prompt lol! I’m dummy weak thinking about a bunch of 1500s warlords finding out in the future that people write headcanons/fanfics/fanart of them dream about fictional dudes. I’m people 😂. Also put what genre/type of anime they’d be into if they were able to be introduced to anime and manga.

Kenshin: Probably thought that Sasuke and MC were siblings because of her using similar weird words and fangirling during the weirdest times. Sasuke would explain to him how from their time that stories and tales were widespread and had vivid illustrations that people would gather around and develop a fanbase. Would be very confused to see keychains and anime merch from MC’s bag from the future. When he asked why there were decorations of 2D men, MC excitedly explained how they were all “best boys” and tell their stories and tales, meanwhile Kenshin was glaring daggers at these fictional men that pose a threat. “Kenshin your yandere side is showing. You are the bestest boy and you’re the only one I want to wifey up.” He’ll have to ask Sasuke what half of that sentence meant, but he was pleased that he was the 3D man that she chose. If MC could bring back some manga/anime for Kenshin, he’d be in love with any war/gore and action based ones. Not necessarily for characters but how cool the action and fight scenes are and wants to try them out with Sasuke (run Sasuke).

Ieyasu: Was very confused when they first met and MC was very eager and pushy to get to know him better. “Why are you following me, you weakling?” “I know you’re a tsundere. You’re hard on the outside but gooey on the inside. I’ve played so many routes with tsunderes that I shall uncover you in no time. Just like the simulations!” *cue Ieyasu thinking MC is absolutely insane and going the complete opposite direction*. Eventually MC grew on him and he did end up softening up and falling in love (JUST LIKE THE SIMULATIONS! SCORE FOR MC). Would find a lot of the terminology MC uses weird but still made him want to learn what it meant.  Did not know what “I ship it” meant when MC chuckled that when he started complaining about Mitsunari, but rest assured will gag when he finds out. Startles MC when they’re laying in bed and he says “I.. ship us.” awkwardly trying to use her weeb terminology, earning a kiss for this cute tsundere 😉. If MC could bring back some manga/anime, he’d be very intrigued with complex characters and plots that have both dark and light elements and have an overall empowering message. Relates to characters that have a tragic backstory but endure and grow stronger and roots for them in the end. (Might imagine MC as the love interest but don’t tell MC that)

Hideyoshi: Now the first thing coming out of MC’s mouth when he decided to trust her and smile at MC while offering to be friends and help carry the vase she was carrying was “A-am I witnessing gap moe in real life?” with a look of utter awe. This confused the heck out of him, “M-my name’s Hideyoshi. Who’s Gap-Moe?” Eventually would get used to the random terminology, although very confused. When he saw the anime themed keychains and wallet in MC’s purse and asked about it, he should’ve prepared tea because that was a looong lecture that he understood nothing of but found it adorable how excited MC was talking about it. “Wait so what are fangirls?” “You know those girls in town that rush to you and gush over you? Those are fangirls. My fangirl group just goes after fictional guys.”, making him confused even more while also lowkey wishing MC was his fangirl and wondering if he is a fanboy for MC (spoiler alert: he IS. And he’s a fanboy for Nobunga). Made him realize how much MC made his kokoro go doki doki (this is the most otaku trash phrase I’ve ever said). If MC could bring manga/anime, he’d love anime where good trumps evil and heroes defeat villains because he loves imagining defeating injustice and having a happy ending for Japan while defeating the cruel enemies and rivals around Nobunga. Also loves emotional/heart wrenching love story manga and anime that make you cry and get hit hard in the feels with the characters b/c he’s such a romantic with a big heart. Would hug the hell out of MC after finishing of any of those types of series while saying that he will always love her‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

Bonuses b/c I thought they’d be fun:

Shingen: Literally finds anything about MC fascinating, and the fact that they’re passionate about fictional stories and are so emotionally touched by them made him love that MC had a big heart, even for fictional characters. Gets a lil jealous when MC starts fawning over specific fictional dudes. When MC and Shingen are a couple and she starts talking about one of her fictional baes he’d probably literally sweep her off her feet and say something cheesy like “But can he do this” and swoop in for dat kiss. Would probably find his own meaning in the terminology and use it. “This is my waifu, my goddess, I am her biggest fanboy.” is how he’d probably introduce MC as (swoon). If MC could bring manga/anime, he’d be a hardcore sucker for romance anime and would reenact many of the romantic scenes, even the confession scenes. “Shingen we’re married. This is the 45th time you’ve confessed to me.” “But not like from this anime (´•ω•̥`). Would also like detective/mystery series bc he likes unraveling mysteries and plays behind the scenes.

Yukimura: “Not another Sasuke-speaker.” Would be hanging out with MC and Sasuke and listening to the weird terminologies. Would also probably make fun of MC at first for her fantasizing about fictional men and having merch of them saying “Is that cuz you can’t get a real life man?” (cue the heated arguing). Would eventually be intrigued by some of the story plots MC tells him and would eventually fall for her nerdiness and everything. Would ask Sasuke for help on coming up how to confess to MC like in the anime and otome games she talks about (A for effort, my boy). Would be a blushy puddle but puff his chest out if MC fangirled over him. If MC could bring anime and manga, he’d freaking LOVE superhero anime bc he just wants to save everyone and do whats right and he just looks like the type of dude that loves superheroes and superpowers and gets pumped when the hero defeats the bad guy.

Mitsuhide: Would be curious about these strange, foreign words MC says, even though its just fangirl lingo from 500 years in the future. Would probably tease MC if they had any keychains or small merch of anime characters. “Why have a pocket-sized man to love if there’s a full sized one right here.” 😉. Would find it very creative that there’s so many diverse stories and characters. Loves when MC gets excited talking about story plots, gets a lil jealous and tries steering the topic away from thirsting over the dudes. Would probably confess his feelings by saying “Is there a real life story about a kitsune falling for a foolish mouse and they become lovers for eternity?” “Not that I know of.” “Want to make that story happen?”. Would love speaking modern slang and otaku terms with MC because its like their own little love language and it also pisses Hideyoshi off since he doesn’t understand wtf they’re saying. If MC brought manga/anime, would love psychological based horror, seeing how characters react to scary situations and what’s the mental breaking point to madness, or plots with mind games and outwitting opponents bc he’s all about that big brain and likes seeing characters creatively outsmart enemies. Likes characters that are morally gray/antihero that do good but do so in unorthodox ways bc he relates to them (and is secretly smug if MC says they need more love bc it feels like she’s saying that about him too). Likes stories w/ bittersweet endings because he likes seeing the beauty in things while acknowledging the harshness and cruelty of life as well.

[marvelslut16]

Closure

Pairing(s): Steve x reader, Steve x OC!Ana, Reader x OC!Mike

Synopsis: (Y/N) and Steve are paired up as partners for a year. The problem is she hates the golden boy. Quickly she learns that he isn’t as horrid as she once imagined and they become best friends. Will (Y/N) realize before it’s too late that she’s madly and deeply in love with one Steven Grant Rogers?

Word count: 5,100 whoops

Warnings: Some fluff, some angst. Swearing. Mentions of stitches, but now graphic descriptions of gore. A super clueless reader. Bucky is a bitch in this. Jealousy. 

A/n: I should have been writing my Stan Uris request (which I’m more than have done with) or my next chapter of can’t fight this feeling (it’s getting there you guys!) but I wrote this bad boy instead. I hope you guys enjoy it and are staying safe and healthy during these crazy times. 

Steve was never the man you planned to fall for. Hell, you hated the man for three years. You thought he was pretentious and full of himself when he snootily corrected you on a mistake only he noticed. Everyone praised him, said he was so fantastic; he could do no wrong, he’s America’s golden boy after all.

A few years had passed since the incident where he corrected you on an almost nonexistent mistake in the middle of a mission. You two were suddenly paired up by Fury to be partners on any future missions. Bucky was still recovering from all the pain Hydra caused so he couldn’t be Steve’s partner, but you had been hoping to get either Nat or Tony as yours. But life never works out how you want. 

Being partners also meant you two had to train together too, help you bond and become a stronger pair on missions. Blah blah blah. You had a sprained wrist from a mission you had just been on, it was supposed to be a simple in and out until the shield agent helping you made a mistake. The worst part is that you happen to be dating that shield agent, Mike can’t go thirty minutes without apologizing. The more he does it the more it gets on your nerves, so you always try to take hold of the conversation and steer it away from that topic. 

So as you're in the gym for your first training session, sitting on a bench board out of your mind watching America’s golden boy workout his already perfect body, you text Mike and complain about being stuck with the blonde soldier. Steve breaks the tense and awkward silence randomly, causing you to put your phone down for the first time since entering the gym. 

“Do you know how to work this thing?” his thumb is pointing over his shoulder at one of the many treadmills, he’s giving you a sheepish smile.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” you smile softly, quickly getting up and pressing the buttons, setting it up for him. “There ya go.”

“Thanks,” he lets out a sigh, running a hand through his slightly sweaty blonde locks. “I’m still new to all of this technology stuff.” You don’t respond, not verbally at least. You give him a warm smile and small nod, his grin seems to grow at your first real interaction. 

As your time with him in the gym becomes more frequent when you're healed, you notice that he doesn’t actually need your help setting up the machines. He even sets them up for you if he beats you to the gym that day. You realize that it was really just an icebreaker, this way it wouldn’t be as awkward and you would finally talk to him. It turns out he doesn’t even remember correcting you all those years ago, so maybe he isn’t as bad as you’ve always made him out to be. 

--

To nobody's surprise, but your own, you and Steve become fast friends. You didn’t think much of it, he’s your partner and you two are supposed to get along. So the friendship was a good thing, right? Steve soon became your confidant, the one you would seek out if the mission was hard or if you and Mike were in yet another fight. Besides that, Steve was just a great person who was fun to be with.

He was surprisingly political for a man that was frozen in ice for seventy years, so he’ll talk your ear off about what’s going on in the world. It’s not too surprising, you suppose, he was political propaganda and has an unwavering moral compass, so it’s to be expected. He keeps you educated and up to date, something that amuses your teammates when they see you guys hang out. You and Steve will have animated conversations about World War II, comparing the political climate and leaders back then to now over lunch. What really amused everyone was how quickly those serious conversations could flip and turn into pop culture talk. If one of you says a reference from a show in your conversation, it immediately switches to that show or ones like it.

You had introduced Steve to friends, and he had come running to you as soon as Ross and Rachel had their we were on a break fight. He was so distraught over the show, he wanted Ross and Rachel to just talk out their problems. You thought his reaction was adorable, and so did Nat who was quietly laughing to herself in a corner. 

There were days where you didn’t even have to talk, content with sitting in silence and filling out mission reports. Typically spent listening to songs from the forties, or you trying to get him into modern music. Everyone was shocked, especially Bucky who is now back from Wakanda good as new apparently, that you got Steve to get a cellphone. The super soldier frequently texts you with questions or to complain that he misses you if you’re too injured or sick to make it to training. 

--

Very rarely was Steve moody, one reason you were glad when you got him and not Tony, but when he was it was unbearable. He had gotten in a fight with Bucky and ignored you in training. No setting up the machine for you, even though he was already running on his treadmill when you got to the gym. No offering you water after a tough set, or apologizing if he thought he pinned you to the mat too hard, which he always did. 

“Stevie, what’s wrong?” you finally broke the silence.

“It’s nothing (Y/N)!” there’s a flash of anger towards you in his icy blue eyes. “I’m done training for the day.”

“But we still have another hour!” you holler at his toned back, white shirt clinging to the sweat, as he walks away from you. 

“I don’t really care, I don’t want to talk,” Steve doesn’t turn to face you. His voice drops so low he thinks you won’t hear him, but you do, “I don’t want to be around you right now.”

Your heart squeezes at his words. Was Mike right when he called you too much the other night? Were you so annoying that both your boyfriend and your best friend didn’t want to be around you?

Steve’s blue eyes softened as he apologized for his actions the next morning. He didn’t know you heard his last bit, but you weren’t gonna tell him you did. So you just dealt with the little bit of your self esteem chip away, but that was nothing new. 

--

You’re knocking on his door in the middle of the night, instantly regretting it when you see the dark bags under his sparkling blue eyes. His arm flexes as he rubs a hand over his face, gray sweatpants hang low on his waist, and his navy blue shirt is slightly twisted from tossing and turning.

“Sorry,” you sniffle and quickly apologize. You start to walk away but Steve’s thick fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you towards him. 

“What's wrong?” the sleep gone from his eyes, replaced with worry at the sight of your tear stained cheeks. 

“It’s nothing,” you sigh, running your hands through your hair. “It was stupid.”

“Is it nothing or is it stupid? ‘Cause it can’t be both Doll,” his voice is soft and inviting, it makes you start crying all over again.

“Mike and I got into such a bad fight,” you cry, he immediately pulls you into a hug and into his apartment. He ushers you over to a stool in the kitchen, grabbing you both a beer, claiming that you look like you could really use one. “He threatened to break up with me, he just kept saying that I have too much baggage from before. Telling me that I’m too annoying, too clingy, too much.”

The super soldier stayed up with you all night, letting you cry and vent about your relationship troubles. Again. He even took you out for breakfast when morning rolled around, you two laughing over what seemed like a gallon of coffee. While you had never woken him up before, you two had talked for hours if Mike had done something stupid or hurt you. 

Steve and Mike had been sort of friends before this, having worked with each other on missions before your partnership. But the words that Mike had been spewing at you hours earlier made it so that Steve could never look at him the same way again. Who could be that cruel to you on purpose?

--

The Avengers were going to a local hospital to surprise the sick children in the cancer ward. You’re paired up with Bucky much to your disappointment, everyone wanted Captain America and Black Widow together, they were well known. You don’t dislike the ex assassin, but he’s practically Steve’s brother which makes you infinitely more nervous around him. 

As you're waiting for the all clear from one of the oncologists you get a text from Tony with an updated schedule, one child was able to go home a day early so they were no longer there so a new room with a new kid was added. You briefly smile down at your lock screen, a picture of you and Steve making stupid faces in your uniforms- he even let you hold his shield. 

“Is that you and Steve?” Bucky’s long strands of hair hit the side of your face as he leans down to get a better look of the picture. 

“Uh- yeah,” you turn to look at his face, a small frown of confusion graces your features. His gaze goes from curious to a large frown, confusing you to no end. 

“Why did you guys take it?” he asks, crossing his thick arms across his chest, making sure to flex them.

“Uh, we had just gotten back from a long mission and we needed to decompress,” you smile fondly at the memory of the bleach blonde man making you laugh when you didn’t think you could even smile. He somehow managed to take your stress away, he always knew how to make it better; you’re convinced it was a power that came with the serum. “We were just goofing around and having fun, Steve suggested we take a picture to remember it.”

“You’re so annoying,” he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, brown locks creating a curtain around his face. Your jaw momentarily drops open in shock, but you quickly close it as the oncologist comes back to the two of you. You put on your well practiced mask, cheering up the kids was far more important than your measly little feelings.

For some unknown reason Bucky told Steve about the interaction. Steve immediately apologized the next day for Bucky’s actions, but it meant next to nothing coming from him and not the man with the vibranium arm. Steve just kept going on about how Bucky’s brain still wasn’t back to  hundred percent yet, but you knew Bucky had meant what he said.

--

“Are you sleeping with him?” Mike storms into your apartment that Tony gave you in Avengers tower, perks of the job. 

“What?” your eyebrows furrow, you aren’t a cheater. “Who?”

“Steve,” his name comes out of Mike’s mouth like it burned him, but you can see the sadness in his eyes. 

“Of course not!” anger starts to fuel you, how dare he make these accusations about you and your friend! 

“Sharon came up to me at work today and said she wouldn’t be surprised if you two were sleeping with each other behind my back!” he defends. Of course it was Sharon, you restrain yourself from aggressively rolling your eyes at the annoying woman's antics.

“Steve and I would never do that! And you know that. You also know that Sharon is obsessively in love with Steve and is most likely jealous of my friendship with him.” 

The conversation ended there that night, but you knew it wasn’t over yet. Mike left shortly after to go to his apartment twenty minutes away from the tower, and you were left to wonder why the hell Sharon would ever suggest a thing. Steve was just a friend! Right? 

The next day during training you were complaining to him about Sharon and Mike as you were punching one of the many bags filled with sand. Knuckles bruising and bleeding, but you don’t notice. Far too occupied with everyone sticking their noses where they don’t belong, just looking to start drama within the Avengers.

--

You and Mike had gotten into yet another fight about Steve a month later. This time you didn’t want to go to the man at the center of your problems, so you went to two of your friends Marie and Trisha. They’re both Shield agents that work with Mike, so they know the both of you enough to give you good advice. 

“He just keeps getting so mad at me for being friends with Steve!” you complain to the two girls, who roll their eyes at the words they’ve heard come from your mouth a thousand times before. 

“So break up with him,” Marie shrugs like it’s no big deal, checking her nails. 

“But I love him,” you blanch.

“Do you though?” Trisha asks with a judgmental eyebrow raised. 

“Of course I do! We’ve been together for two years, I see a future with him,” you furrow your brows at how rude they seem. “But do you think he’s right? Do you think Steve likes me?”

“Not even close!” Trisha laughs. “(Y/N), he would never go for someone like you, he could have any woman- or man- that he wants.”

“Dump Mike and forget Steve, they aren’t worth your time,” Marie looks up from her nails to give you an annoyed look.

So much for friends, huh. But Trisha was right about one thing, Steve would never go for someone like me. I’m not special, I’m not beautiful; I’m just annoying and I carry too much emotional baggage for anyone to deal with. You walked out of shield headquarters that day feeling worse than you did when you came, and no closer to solving this whole Steve Mike business. 

--

Steve was reading the briefing for your next mission when you entered the common room in the tower. You plopped down right next to him, swinging your legs over his lap and resting your head on his shoulder to read it too. He threw the arm that you’re leaning on across your shoulders to make it more comfortable for the two of you. You and Steve would sit like this all the time; during movies, reading up on missions, while talking about anything and everything. 

It made Mike uncomfortable, and maybe you were naive because you never understood why. Steve was your friend, and friends cuddle. Plus it was extremely comfortable and some days you just needed it. The first time you did it you did as a joke, trying to make Steve uncomfortable, it was a game you two play. But you both quickly found how much you both liked it and you do it without giving it a second thought now. Plus, it’s a nice added bonus when Sharon sees it and gets upset. 

--

Before you and Steve knew it a whole year of partnership passed, and Fury decided to change partners around. Steve obviously got Bucky and you got Nat. While she was your original first choice, now all you wanted was for Steve to have your six. There wouldn’t be anymore inside jokes, long talks, or silly photos to take. You would miss the way his nose crinkled when he would laugh at one of your stupid jokes, or how his face would scrunch up and the tip of his tongue would peak out from between his lips when would sketch you during your free time. 

If losing him as your partner weren’t enough, he was moving out of the tower. He found a cute little brownstone to move into, him and Bucky were going to be roommates. You believed Steve when he told you he would come visit you all the time, but it was just an empty promise. You felt like you were losing a piece of your heart and soul. Steve had become your best friend and you weren’t sure when you would be able to see him again. He left the tower one night, never telling you goodbye first. 

If anything good came out of Steve’s move, it was that you and Mike weren’t as rocky as you once were. You were crushed that you didn’t have Steve by your side anymore, but you would never tell Mike that. He’d never understand how you missed the super soldier as a friend. He and I would still text occasionally, or talk briefly if we ran into each other in the halls, but it was never the same. And it never would be.

The next time you saw Sharon she was smug, as if she were gloating because you weren’t close to him anymore either. But that all changed when Steve entered the tower with a shorter woman with long black hair on his arm named Ana. She was a nurse for shield, apparently they had met when she insisted he get a cut stitched after a bad mission, even if he would be healed within a few hours. You used to make Steve get checked out after every mission, made sure he took care of himself, but you were useless now. 

“She’s cheated on every guy she’s been with,” Sharon whispered to you as Ana swung her own legs over Steve’s lap and curled into his side. The smile on his face was so wide and loving, it was honestly revolting. Nat, Tony, and Sam all turned to watch your face at the interaction, you masked any possible emotion. But Tony saw the hurt in your eyes, you had officially lost Steve. But he was never yours to lose. 

You pushed off Sharon’s words, why would she tell you the truth when she hated you so much. But when Trisha and Marie texted you out of nowhere freaking out about her being a cheater you knew it was the ugly truth. Steven Grant Rogers, the love of your life as you always jokingly called him, was going to get his pure heart broken by someone who would never love as much as he loved her. 

-- 

Mike caught you one night, when he came over to surprise you with dinner, looking at the drawings of you that Steve had done while swiping through the pictures you had taken with the blonde. Mike, seeing that you were grieving the loss of such an important friendship didn’t say anything about it. Instead you guys ate your food and talked about your future together. He kept repeating that he wanted to marry you one day soon. 

While the prospect of spending the rest of your life with Mike was exciting and inviting; it was a nice safe choice. You couldn’t help but wonder, would Steve go to your wedding? Would he be your man of honor like you two joked he would be? Or did he not care about you now that you weren’t partners anymore? Because your life would be gray without him in it. 

--

Tony threw his yearly charity gala. You were dressed in an ombre blue dress that made you feel like Cinderella. Mike had surprised you and paid for you to go all out and get your hair and nails done. What you didn’t know was that Mike was trying to spoil you so you would be happy again and maybe fix your crumbling relationship. While your relationship was fine, better even, when Steve had moved, it was falling apart now as you wallowed in self pity over the fact that you lost your best friend. 

You had begged Mike for hours to go dance with you, but he wouldn’t. He just told you he didn’t want to and sat at your table sipping his drink. Steve and Ana were spinning around the dance floor, they looked so happy it hurt. You couldn’t help but stare, that could have been you. What did you have to sell to get Mike to seem like he cared about you and to dance with you? A kidney? An arm or a leg? Your soul? Because you would do it. 

Nat and Wanda saw how depressed you looked, so they pulled you onto the floor with them. And for a few minutes everything felt right in the world, you were finally happy. But that ended as soon as it began when Ana bumped into you while she was dancing, you would have fallen if it weren’t for Wanda and her powers. She giggled out a fake sorry before pulling Steve in the opposite direction.

When you sat back down next to Mike again you couldn’t tear your eyes off of Steve. Who had he become? He was so enraptured by Ana that he didn’t even try to talk to you like he always did at big events like this. What you didn’t know was that while you were holding back tears Mike was trying to talk himself into breaking up with you. He knew you weren’t happy anymore, that you would much rather be with Steve. Even if you didn’t know that yet. 

--

After a long talk with Fury it was decided that it would be better for everyone if you went back to being a normal shield agent instead of a part of the Avengers. While it stung a little and felt like a downgrade, it was what you wanted as well. To make things even better, you were now paired up with Sharon. Your long hours together proved she wasn’t as horrible as you once thought, but she was definitely not your favorite person. 

Mike started working in a new sector where he was partnered up with a new agent named Jana. He spent more time with her than with, you so you started hanging out with Trisha and Marie regularly again. The two girls tried to get you to shit talk Ana with them, but you wouldn’t. Steve was happy and that’s all that mattered to you. 

Mike broke up with you. He sent you a text at three in the morning telling you it wasn’t working. You wholeheartedly agreed, nothing felt right anymore, but you would have preferred the break up in person. That was the decent thing to do.he started dating Jana, and you were happy for him too. Just like Steve, you wanted him happy.

--

Months passed after the break up and you were still friends with Mike. He was your partner and your friend before the relationship, so you were sure as hell going to be his friend after the end of your three year relationship. Your break up wasn’t a secret, it seemed like everyone at shield knew the details of it. 

Mike, Jana, Maria Hill, and you were all eating lunch together when a familiar blonde haired blue eyed man walked through the cafeteria. Your heart started to pound, you hadn’t talked to Steve in almost a year and hadn’t seen him in even longer. Mike gave your arm a quick squeeze as Maria was getting ready to go talk to him. But Ana locked eyes with you as soon as Steve waved at you, and pulled him away from you. Mike pulled you into his side and Jana gently rubbed your hand that was sitting on the tabletop. 

Maria runs away from you and Sharon and up to talk to Steve when she sees him in the hall later that day. You and Sharon share an unsure glance before following Fury's right hand woman. Steve has a long talk with Maria about an upcoming mission she is accompanying him and Bucky on. He even talks with Sharon about a new technique Nat taught her when the redhead visited a few weeks prior.

“Hey Rogers,” you give him a small smile when his eyes finally land on you.

He opens his mouth, ready to speak to you for the first time in ages. But before he could get any words out Ana let out an annoyed sound, sent Steve a look, and stormed off. Steve gave you an apologetic smile before running after his girlfriend.

Your mouth opens as you let out what would have a mix between a sob and a scoff if it hadn’t come out silent. It felt like something was wrapping around your heart, giving it a painful squeeze. That feeling snaked up and constricted your throat, momentarily causing you to forget to breathe. Maria is looking at you with soft confused eyes while Sharon is glaring at Steve’s back as he runs after Ana. 

Ironically, you ran crying to Mike. It was a sick twist of fate, after a year of running to Steve when things went wrong with Mike, he was now the one helping you when it came to the hurt America’s golden boy caused. He took you out for dinner that night and spent hours comforting you. Because after all this time you finally realized it. You’re in love with Steve, you have been for years. But now you’ve lost him for good. 

-- 

“Are Steve and Ana still together?” Wanda asks when you visit her and Nat at the tower. 

“I think, why?” you glance between the two redheads confused why they would be asking you this and not Steve.

“Well her and this other shield agent came with us on a mission,” Nat admits. “And the entire quinjet ride she was hanging all over him.”

“We had to spend the night there,” Wanda says slowly, like the next words out of her mouth could change everything. And they do. “I caught her sneaking into his room.”

The world around you seems to slow and your fragile heart seems to crack even more. You knew it. You knew that bitch would hurt your Stevie. 

After leaving the tower for the night you immediately message both Marie and Trisha because they were right. At the office the next day you join in on the shit talking for the first time. Nobody hurts your Stevie. 

--

Tony invited you to the charity gala again, he kept whining that he missed your annoying ass. So you're put on a gorgeous deep red dress with a slightly bedazzled bodice. You're at the bar with Tony, Nat, and Wanda when Sharon comes running over; her dress, Trisha, and Marie trailing behind her. 

“Is Steve still with Ana?” Sharon asks, slightly out of breath.

“Why do people keep asking me this?” not only are you confused, but you're angry that it keeps coming up. “How am I supposed to know? Steve and I don’t talk anymore.”

“Ana came with the guy who’s room she snuck into,” Marie eyes you nervously as she speaks. 

“That's her ex,” Jana adds as her and Mike join the group forming at the bar. 

“Check their socials!” Trisha hollers unhelpfully. But you do anyway, and what you see breaks your heart.

You check Ana first, but after typing her name into the search bar nothing comes up. Mike quickly looks her up and shows that she still pops up on his phone, she obviously blocked you. Ana and Steve were still her profile picture, but you weren’t satisfied with that.

Your fingers fly as you type in Steve’s name. He pops up, but you suddenly aren’t friends with him anymore and the option to send a friend request isn’t there. Your cracked heart shatters. Everyone around you seems to fade and all you hear is white noise, you never meant anything to him. You don’t realize you're crying until your tears hit the picture of him and Ana laughing which is his new profile picture. 

Tony makes you another rum and coke, which you chug. Screw Ana. Screw Steve Rogers. And fuck feelings. You spend the night dancing with Nat and Wanda when they aren’t with Clint and Vision. Mike, who refused to dance with you a year ago, even took you for a spin around the dance floor. 

--

You eventually cut Trisha and Marie out of your life, they were nothing but trouble. They were bad influences, trying to get you to be a meaner person than you were. And it worked for a while, you had let them manipulate your hurt into anger since that was an easier emotion to process. Shortly after the gala you got transferred to a shield base in Sokovia, Wanda and Pietro excitedly showed you around their home. Sharon texted you a year after you left that Steve had apparently broken up with Ana.

It has been almost three years since the day of that gala and about two since Steve and Ana had broken up. Mike is still your best friend, he’s planning on proposing to Jana soon. He’ll occasionally see Steve and tell you how he is. Recently you decided to look him up on Facebook again to see how he was doing; he looks good, happy. You had the option to send him a friend request again, so you did. And within ten minutes he said yes. 

It has been about a month since that happened, you haven’t messaged him and he hasn’t messaged you. You’ll react to some of the old photos from the forties that he’ll post, or the memes he posts about Stranger Things, another show you had gotten him into. Facebook friends doesn’t seem like too much, but for you when it comes to Steve it means the world. 

While you don’t have that connection you had with Steve once, him accepting is like he’s accepting your apology for how poorly you acted when it came to Ana. You finally got your closure. 

And with that you put down your pen and close your composition notebook. The one you're shield appointed therapist, you had to talk to her for your yearly eval, had suggested. She thought it might make you feel better to have all of the words written down, all of the truths and emotions out in the open. You realized far too late how you really felt, and the notebook was the only way to fully process everything that had happened these past four years.

Forever tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​

[fanfic-corner]

Under 10,000 Words

16/12/20 - I can never figure out what my favourite length of fic is, but I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes I want a huge, 200,000 word journey, and sometimes I just want a quick drabble. Anyway, here are some fics which are all between 2,000 and 10,000 words, organised by the word count.

Sleep Deprivation by Honey_Honey on AO3. (2,313 words).

Tags: Cute, First Kiss.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: The one where killing monsters leaves Dean without a week of sleep, and Cas has to deal with the consequences.

Notes: This was so fluffy and cute and I can totally imagine Dean overthinking everything while Sam just finds the whole situation hilarious.

That One Time Sam Winchester Googled Something Weird and It Had Pretty Awesome Results by quitepossiblyjanuary on AO3. (2,587 words).

Tags: Romantic Fluff, First Kiss, Stars, Humor, Courtship, Short & Sweet.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: In which Sam Googles something and his curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. Or him. Or anyone. It’s a pretty awesome feeling.

Notes: This was so adorable! Gabe was so sweet, and his mind reading skills made me laugh.

What Can’t Be Seen by destieldrabblesdaily on AO3. (2,639 words).

Tags: Soulmate AU, author!Cas, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Written for this prompt: Soulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

Notes: This was really cute and such a sweet and funny idea.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood on AO3. (3,673 words).

Tags: POV Castiel, Fluff, Sign Language, Castiel in the Bunker, Canon Compliant, Sharing Clothes, Asexual Castiel, Gentle Dean, Non-Explicit Sex, Domestic, Established Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: “Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice”.

Notes: This has to be one of my favourite fics of all time, even though the first time I read it I hadn’t even met Eileen yet! I’m still so pissed off that she wasn’t in the finale (unless we’re counting Blurry Wife?).

surely heaven wants for you by cenotaphy on AO3. (3,782 words). 

Tags: Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Heaven, Coda, Post-Finale, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean, Outdoor Sex.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas doesn't come to him. Dean can't really argue with that, given the circumstances. In all the history of balls in courts, he thinks there might never have been a ball as thoroughly in a court as this one is in his. He drives for what feels like a long time but might just be a single sunny afternoon, or maybe years (time's funny here, Bobby had said), just enjoying the music, the shifting landscape outside his window, the hum and creak of the engine. Finally the forest opens up and the road narrows down in a way that he's fairly certain wouldn't typically happen on any kind of earthly interstate, and he glides the car to a halt at the edge of a lake.

Notes: This was so beautiful and such a interesting exploration of Dean’s feelings!

a quick salt and burn by xylodemon on AO3. (4,609 words).

Tags: Episode Related, Cemeteries, Case Fic.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "Fuck," Dean mutters, wincing as pain throbs in his shoulder and neck. After the ghost chucked him into the hedge, he hit the ground like ton of bricks and clipped an exposed tree root so old it was practically petrified. "So much for a quick salt and burn."

Notes: This is adorable and hilarious, so a double win.

Funny Bone by PallasPerilous on AO3. (4,933 words).

Tags: Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Skeletons, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Canon Divergence, Mild Gore.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland. It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Notes: This has to have been one of the funniest fics I have ever read, but oh boy did I feel bad for poor Cas.

Grace by july_19th_club on AO3. (5,164 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Resurrection, Reciprocated Confession.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: A man dies. What happens next will shock you. [script]

Notes: This was written beautifully, and now I really want to see this filmed! So much better than the ending we got.

(un)conventional by imogenbynight on AO3. (6,100 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, mechanic!Dean, Writer!Castiel, Conventions, Fluff.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Spec Lit Con--Speckly Con, to it’s regular attendees--is an annual weekend-long event held in Chicago, dedicated to science fiction, fantasy and otherwise speculative literature. This year Dean's favorite author, C.J. Novak, is appearing as a panelist. Naturally, he shells out the cash for an all access pass.

Notes: This was so adorable that I nearly screamed in the corridor outside my computer science lesson. Plus, the writing was absolutely gorgeous! I miss conventions :(

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words)

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you’re going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Event Horizon by Winglesss on AO3. (6,442 words).

Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel, Strangers.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Notes: I don’t know if that kind of suicide prevention scheme exists, but this fic is very sweet.

I Think That’s Mine by palominopup on AO3. (6,804 words).

Tags: Fluff, AU, Reporter!Dean, Writer!Cas.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: A mix up at the Atlanta Airport places Dean Winchester's laptop in someone else's possession. A series of calls and texts bring two men together.

Notes: This was so cute, Cas was so sweet, and Dean was an icon.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime on AO3. (7,865 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief, Explicit Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Declarations of Love, Canon Compliant, Minor Injuries.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Maybe it’s the cynic in him. The hunter, always under the surface of any quietude he ever found. Or maybe it’s just that he has always had trouble with blind faith. But after a while (a blink? A decade? A century?), Dean raises his eyebrows, looks around, and says—

“Uh. No.”

It’s so close. Just so slightly imperfect. And maybe, he analyzes, maybe that’s the final knell of this bell called contentment. Dean’s experience with happiness has always been that last rise in the road, right before it turns. Right before fate comes barreling around the corner head on. He turns in his spot on the bridge, and suddenly Sam is like a cellophane film through which he can see the light streaming, and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue is much, much older a memory than it should be.

“Oh, you’re good,” he says, and means it.

Notes: What a great idea, and written so well! I always thought the show could have done so much more with djinns, but never mind.

In the House of the Rising Bun by imissmaeberry on AO3. (9,046 words).

Tags: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baker Dean, Barista Sam, College Campus, Poet Castiel, Mutual Pining, Daddy Issues, Background Sam/Jess, Past Balthazar/Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester only has three rules concerning the cafe he and his brother Sam own, “House of the Rising Bun”.

1. Any and all opportunities to make a pun will be taken. 2. Free regular coffee with your student ID (If you want some of that fancy nonsense you gotta pay, sorry kids). 3. Anyone and everyone is always welcome.

Between Dean running the shop full-time and Sam helping out whenever he isn’t in class, there really isn’t a whole lot of time for romance for either of them. But that all changes when they gain a new regular - some writer from London - who may or may not have the bluest eyes Dean’s ever seen.

Notes: First of all, the puns were amazing and I am willing to fight people on that. Secondly, that was so sweet and funny I am afraid I might have to disappear under mysterious circumstances and open my own cafe…

I hope you enjoy these! I haven’t read any new fics for this list and even then there were way too many to put on one list, so expect a sequel at some point in the future!

[yoongi-sugaglider]

Daegu Quarantine

Jungkook x reader

Gang/ zombie apocalypse au

Warnings:

Gore, violence, zombies, mention of drugs and drug dealing, weapons discharge in self defense, main character death, zombies, course language, zombies, drinking, did I mention zombies?

Summary:

They were the top of their game, known throughout the city as the smartest and most dangerous crew to ever hit the Daegu streets. But what’s going to happen when this group of young men encounter something right out of a horror film?

Word count: 2394

Part 10===Part 11===Part 12

“Alright Tae Bae, let’s see what’s going on with your system.”

In the time it had taken us to clean up after dinner, Taehyung had already set up everything he needed in order to communicate through remote video feed with his mentor.

I’d decided to join Taehyung and Jeanette in the security area of our basement living room, sliding in beside Jeanette on the overly large sofa and snuggling up beneath her blanket with a smile sent her way before focusing in on the conversation unfolding before us.

Tae was posted up on the floor, feet crossed in his lap and a large keyboard situated on top of his knees as his eyes roamed the information displayed on the massive tv hung on the wall. The screen itself flashed a myriad of information, lines of code and text along with a small set of squares at the bottom left corner that gave us a live view of the surrounding grounds and security checkpoints.

In the top left was a video feed of Black Rose, a sweet looking woman roughly my age whose smile lit up her whole face every time her eyes glanced back to what I assumed was Taehyung’s face displayed on her own screen. I couldn’t help but feel there was something more than the connection of mentor and apprentice between the two.

“I managed to trace the outside signal as far as the local area before I got cut off from it. Whatever it was that let them in was enough for them to feed my cameras a signal to loop come a certain time of day. That’s when the attack happened.” Taehyung frowned, glancing at the video image of the ashen haired woman and blushing brightly as he averted his gaze elsewhere.

“Sounds to me like they’ve been in your system before. Or are at least familiar with the type of code you were writing for it…”

I couldn’t help but glance over at Jeanette who seemed just as bewildered as I felt with all the technical jargon being thrown back and forth between them.

“Any idea what they’re saying?” I asked in an overly dramatic stage whisper.

Jeanette shook her head, blowing a bit of curly hair out of her eyes with a huff. “None in the slightest honestly. I’ve heard Jangmi talk like this before but it always goes way over my head.”

Tae snorted, his eyes darting to the two of us for a moment before focusing back in on his job. “Since I’ve got you here, could you run a backdoor screen for me? At least then I’ll know what I’m missing before we go whole hog on the fuckers.”

Black Rose shook her head, sighing lazily before typing quickly on her end. The sound of high speed clicking filled the speakers along with the sound of Taehyung’s own. The screen glowed a dark green color as line after line of letters and numbers and symbols flashed across it. Everything moved so fast that for a moment I grew dizzy just trying to keep up with it all.

Jungkook at that point wandered into the room, coming around the sofa to sit on its arm beside me and throw an extra long arm around my shoulders.

“Anything?” He asked, knowing that his words would interrupt Taehyung’s focus, he’d spoken in a low whisper just as Jeanette and I had.

“No clue to be honest, but damn if I wouldn’t be able to tell you anyway.” I glanced up at Kookie, blushing as he threw me a charming smile that, no matter how many times I’d seen it, still managed to make my insides flutter.

“Well let me see…” He looked over to the tv, eyes darting back and forth as he watched the words fly by.

“Every computer system, no matter how complicated, has a back door. They’re usually protected by something called a firewall, basically a shield the system has in place so your information can’t get stolen or your software can’t get hacked.” Jungkook’s fingers trailed along my shoulder, leaving trails of heat in their wake as he continued to watch the two computer geniuses work.

“What’s basically happening is Jangmi is attacking Tae’s firewall, trying to find any weaknesses in it to see how exactly the hackers got into our system.”

“HA!” A triumphant shout echoed through the speakers, jolting Taehyung out of his hyper focused stupor and causing him to stare at the screen in shock.

“Are you serious? That one line of god damn…”

“And here I thought I taught you well, little grasshopper. Such a shame that a tiny bit of code like that could cause such a massive amount of damage…” Black Rose hummed.

I couldn’t help but to watch in fascination as Taehyung basically melted down in front of us, rolling on the floor after discarding his keyboard and gripping his hair. He wailed like a little child, cursing and fussing and drawing full on belly laughs out of each of us as we watched him go on.

“One!! One goddamn misplaced comma...are you kidding me?” He groaned, reluctantly righting himself and pulling the keyboard into his lap once more.

“Well, fix it ya soggy noodle.” The woman paused, pulling a large cup into view and sipping from it before groaning in pleasure at the flavor of whatever her drink of choice was.

“I see you’re taking full advantage of the macchiato machine I got you.” Tae grunted, though his fierce typing belied the brief moment of a glance he’d made at her screen.

“Ya damn right I am.” Contrary to the accent she’d been speaking with, these words took on a distinctly New Yorker accent, one I’d only heard in movies and on youtube, but the change was so incredibly adorable I couldn’t help but giggle at her.

“I don’t uh...I don’t wanna interrupt but.” I glanced over to Tae who’s full attention was now on me.

“What is it Boss Lady?”

“Well, I’ve heard of like espresso machines but...a macchiato machine?”

Taehyung and Black Rose chuckled together, grinning a secret grin between the two of them.

“It’s not really like an espresso machine. Think of it like one of those industrial mixers you see in gas stations and stuff.” Tae typed into his keyboard, pulling up an image of the machine he mentioned. “It’s like a frozen yogurt machine but for macchiato mix.”

“It’s rather ingenious actually. All I had to do was get the right kind of mix and I’ve got all of my caffeine needs right here at my desk.”

“I prefer mine through a direct iv line.” A muttered voice spoke from behind the couch, drawing our attention to Yoongi who’d apparently been listening in on what we’d been talking over this whole time.

“Ah! A man after my own heart!” Black Rose grinned, giving Yoongi a thumbs up which he returned with a small smile in kind.

“Boss, we got an issue with Seokjin upstairs.” Yoongi frowned at Jungkook, though the look seemed to be more one of frustration than actual danger.

“What happened?” Jungkook stood, giving me a kiss to my forehead before heading back upstairs with Yoongi.

“Apparently his ‘second’ and I quote, ‘Is a no talent hack who couldn’t strip the paint off the broad side of a barn.”

“Overwatch?”

Yoongi sighed, “No, campaign mode on Halo…”

Taehyung snorted, returning his attention to the tv screen. “Alright. Let’s get that firewall fixed up and reverse track the signal.”

***

“Rose and Tae make a pretty incredible team huh?” Jeanette smiled softly as we watched the two work. We’d decided that speaking quieter gave us less of a chance of interrupting their focus as they worked.

“Yeah, But I kind of get the feeling there’s something between them. Don’t you?”

“Hmm…” 

I’d known Tae for only a short time, he’d come to us only a few years ago. And even though it’d been going on nearly 4 years I still couldn’t help but notice that the young man hardly ever really smiled unless Jimin was around.

Of course it could have been because they were so close in age, but it seemed like he preferred to stay by himself. With his line of expertise and the type of work he did I ended up, well not really avoiding him so much as just giving him space. But he seemed to really appreciate it. We became close in our distance. And that was okay.

“Are you seriously eating gummy bears while you’re at your computer?” Tae snorted, shaking his head as he watched his partner sheepishly grin.

“Hey, the last time we worked together like this you fussed at me because I was eating seaweed snacks over my keyboard. I’ll have no more of you fussing at me you hear!”

The two laughed, seeming to enjoy egging each other on as they worked. It felt comfortable, and was definitely a side of Taehyung I’d never seen before.

“Any luck?” Jeanette asked. She cuddled further into the blanket, seeming on edge as she watched the interaction happen.

“Does East Side ring a bell?” Black Rose’s eyes wandered her screen, eyebrows furrowed and a small frown tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Yeah...actually it does.” I grunted, pushing further  back into the comfort of the sofa.

“We were joined with them. A smaller branch of our main group that was in charge of keeping the East side of the city safe.Tension’s been high with them, even before all this mess came along.”

“I see. Well it seems like it was more than just tension.” Rose leaned back in her chair, iced coffee in hand as she pulled up an aerial view of the city for us all to see.

“This is satellite feed from a remote military camera that was monitoring the area a day ago. From the looks of things and going solely on the data I traced from Tae’s security hack, seems like these bastards have been plotting something for a while now.”

We watched intently as the feed zoomed in on the warehouse Kook, Yoongi, and I had run a rescue mission on not too long ago.

A group of people approached the front side of the building, busying themselves with something we couldn’t see while keeping a lookout for chatterers that happened to come their way. Rose accelerated the footage and we watched as, after moments more of fussing with whatever they were up to they retreated from the door.

“What the actual hell?” Tae whispered before yelping as a bright orange ball of what we could only assume was flames erupted at the door.

“So that’s how those things got in…” My body had tensed up at this point, anger pouring from me in waves as I leaned forward to glare at the tiny bodies pouring into the warehouse.

Rose cut the footage, a frown creeping onto her face as she glossed over what we now couldn’t see. “Looks like they made off with a bunch of stuff, some boxes and shit but dipped out before they could get overwhelmed. There’s no way anybody in there survived the wave of creepos that poured into the building after the fire settled.”

“Two of them survived...but not for very long.” I spat the words out bitterly, rising from the sofa and letting the blanket fall from my form as I began pacing behind the sofa.

Namjoon walked in, eyes following my every move as he walked around the sofa to sit in my place beside Jeanette, though he sat back at a respectable distance.

“I take it there’s bad news?”

Jungkook’s second in command was nothing if not astute and true to form; he'd gauged the atmosphere with no trouble.

“No oppa...shit news actually.”

I glanced over at him, eyes burning a hole into the back of his head despite the blush of red creeping up the back of his neck at the term of endearment.

“Well?” He turned to Tae, an eyebrow raised in question. But before the younger man could speak the sound of an explosion roared through the speakers, one so loud I could have sworn the ceiling above us rumbled along with the noise.

“What in the actual fuck?” I bolted over to the sofa, eyes wide as I scanned Rose’s video feed.

It seemed she’d been knocked out of view of the camera, which itself had been thrown from whatever stand she had set it up on and now lay on the ground. The only thing we could see was the trembling of the floor and a pale set of feet.

“Rose??? Rose can you hear me?” Jeanette had jumped from her seat, rushing over to the tv monitor and hastily scanning the live feed in the hopes of seeing her friend move.

“Shit...I’m okay...fuck...fucking god damn it what the hell?” A continued string of curses poured from the speakers as the feet finally began to move before disappearing from view.

Rose’s face finally came into focus as the camera lifted from the ground to focus on her dazed expression.”I don’t know what the hell that was but holy shit that fucking sucked donkey dick hole.”

“Bruh, the mouth on this woman I swear…” Namjoon shook his head, though the look of concern on his face never wavered.

“You good kid?” I asked, knowing the answer wouldn’t be pleasant.

“Yeah, though, the building I’m in probably isn’t.”

“Talk to me Jangmi, what happened?” Tae sat on his knees, seeming as if every inch of him was screaming to come to her defense.

“Well. From what my screens are telling me. Looks like those East Side assholes found me and are on their way up to my room.”

“Excuse me?” Jungkook had come down, surely drawn in by the commotion coming from the speakers that’d probably been heard all through the house. The others followed closely behind him, each wearing matching faces of either murder death stare or concern.

“I’m at the Daegu Grand Hotel. Have been for a while now. And like I said, from the looks of things the very people trying to get all of ya’lls shit are on their way up to greet me with a very impolite Korean gangster hello.”

[velociraptoraddict]

Part 3 Invader Zim Fanfiction Review

Part 1 and Part 2 can be found here!

Before we get started, as always, please let me know if any of the links provided don’t work, so I can correct them as soon as possible! I also welcome recommendations! So if there’s a fic that you don’t see on any of the lists, that you think I (or anyone else) should check out, please share! This Hyper-fixation Train is not slowing down and I need enablers 8D

And as a friendly reminder, anything crossed out is considered a Spoiler so read those parts at your own risks! And on to the Review!

Maneem  Mekrelmar Danem Sempadinum Scarazial and Zaygam by @hecallsmehischild

This is a six part saga totaling 242,514 words. Originally posted on Fanfiction.net on an unknown date in the early 2000s and re-uploaded to Ao3 on 05-26-2016 and marked complete on 08-18-2016 (though the total write time was estimated 7 years). There are a total of 174 chapters.

I’m going to do something a little different with this one because it is a six part series. I’m mostly going to review it as one fic with a quick rundown of the different segments. So I’ll only provide the link for “Maneem” but you should easily be able to find the rest from the there. If I review each one individually, by the time I got to “Danem” and the others, they would all have to be scratched out due to spoiling revealed plot twists from both “Maneem” and “Mekrelmar”. However, because of how long and complex this whole thing is, I am going to need to delve a bit more in to spoilers than I like just to cover the over all plot, so be warned! I will say this series was AMAZING and would probably be best read blind! There are so many exciting twists and reveals and the Author (You may recognize from the Part 2 reviews such as “Spacejerk” and “Misdirection”) as always, is able to pull you into the story, make you fall in love with these characters, and does not pull any punches when it comes to emotional drama! I teared up during the epilogue! This Author has made me cry on two different occasions now!! If you love soap operas, you’ll love this series!  

“Maneem” We start off with Zim finding out that his mission on Earth was a joke. In a state of shock, he wonders out into the streets of his neighborhood. He is not wearing his disguise and is very obviously an Alien. Dib finally gets what he’s always wanted, and Zim is arrested. Zim then goes to court (stay with me here lol), and a Judge sentences him to spend 3 months living with a host family to prove that he is not a danger to society. If he fails to do so, then he will be surrendered to the Swollen Eyeball for them to do whatever they please. And this is where we meet Della, Tom, Mikko, and Tiana, they’re original characters that play very important roles throughout the whole saga, I love them all for different reasons but Della and Mikko are definitely my favorites <3! This is a Found Family Fic. Della and Zim’s interactions are rocky at first but so sweet and wholesome later on, and Mikko’s growth from a frightened mute little girl to a spitfire fighter is done so well and I just absolutely adore her! Although, in the beginning, there is definitely a lot of headbutting, as the saga goes on these characters become Zim’s family, and they really grow close. The first half of “Maneem” is mostly Zim settling in with this new family of his, so a lot of slice-of-life fluff and drama. But soon, Dib hacks into Zim’s PAK and reveals that Zim has had a truly horrific up bringing, complete with brutal torturous training and both emotional and physical abuse. One punishment Zim had to endure during training was being exposed to a new alien species called a Morflar. Morflars are like living shadows that hunt and eat Irkens, slowly killing them in the most bone chilling way possible. Morflars play a pretty big part later on. But something else is revealed in Zim’s memories that truly gets the plot moving! After seeing something truly horrific, Dib kidnaps Zim at gunpoint and forces the alien to take him to Irk for a rescue mission. Here is where we meet Gloria (I wont say much about her due to spoilers but I really fell in love with her and her relationships with other characters by the end of this saga!). A few things happen, and “Maneem” ends shortly after a second trip to Irk for a rescue is successful. Overall, “Maneem” is a pretty quick read, and due to its age (about 12 years old) it is missing a few of the finer details that the Author’s more recent fics have. However, even in these earlier chapters, the Author does such a great job with emotion and character interactions, that you hardly notice the jumping in scenes. And the writing style really improves later in the saga! It’s just obviously different from how the Author currently writes, so there’s a noticeable difference if you read their more recent fics first, but if you read this one first, then you wont even notice any of it, and you will truly be blown away when the writing improves later on. 

“Mekrelmar” takes place about two years later, basically Dib wants revenge for what happened to Gloria, and convinces Zim to reluctantly tag along. Chaos ensues and Zim ends up being left behind on Irk, leading to a bit of torture and another rescue. Here is also where the Swollen Eyeball starts to enter the story in a major way, though they really don’t start to shine until “Danem”. The Author also does something with Gaz’s character in this series that is absolutely enjoyable and clever! I will not spoil it but it’s clever and works so well with the world the Author builds here. Even if the reveal is a little out of the blue XD

“Danem” takes place five years later, and here is where a lot of crazy stuff really starts to happen! There was actually a real-life five year gap between “Mekrelmar” and “Danem”, so not only does the writing style improve, but the Author’s ability to foreshadow really shines here! You can tell that the next four segments were all well planed out, as a lot of different twists and mysteries are introduced and slowly hinted at, before finally being answered many many chapter later! You wont be able to put it down! We start to learn a bit more about what Gaz can do. And Zim just has an All Around No Good Very Bad Time with a lot of stuff, I know I say this a lot, but this Author is so good at emotional trauma!! We also get a special surprise in the form of a familiar bond reveal, the Author does such a great job with the reveal too, it’s hinted at and you can almost guess what it is, yet it still takes you by surprise when it is confirmed! I was screaming out loud with how well done it was, and how excited I was about the implications of what the reveal would mean for the rest of the story. Mikko also continues to get some character growth and I gotta say, I really do love her X3. There’s more stuff with the Swollen Eyeball as well, which gets dark just as a heads up, there’s a bit of gore and psychological damage. It’s all very well written! We’re also introduced to another new character who plays a larger part later on, Agent Tunaghost, she’s one of the few characters who actually uses logic and is smart enough to know that everyone else needs to see a psychologist lol.  Also, trying to avoid spoilers, the Author does an absolutely amazing job at a character redemption, someone who you absolutely despise in the first two segments becomes a beloved character in this one going forward. It’s so well done! This Author really writes trauma, angst, and emotions so well. Though fair warning, there is a Character Death in this segment. Towards the end of “Danem”, I really fall in love with a particular character and their behavior towards Zim (XD man it’s really hard to say stuff without spoiling it, like I don’t even want to name the character because that will spoil stuff from the first two segments)

“Sempadinum” takes place almost immediately after “Danem”, and it is an emotional roller coaster (lol I feel like I say this a lot, but seriously the Author is sooo good with making the reader feel for these guys!). It mostly focuses on Gloria’s recovery from all the horrible stuff that’s happened to her in the past, as well as a budding platonic relationship that I truly was platonicly shipping and gushing over by the end of the saga! When you read it, you’ll understand why I’m emphasizing platonic lol, but seriously I absolutely adore these two together! Tunaghost is again the only one to actively suggest a psychologist for these poor folks, too (and she’s 100% right). Also, the Earth is in danger (cause of course it is) from the Irken Armada, and the Author has a really clever way to save it that really got me gushing over this characterxcharacter relationship lol. Overall “Sempadinum” is very well written, with great character development and exploration of their emotions and traumas. Plus there’s so much happening plot wise, that I can’t even touch on because of spoilers!! And sooo much foreshadowing shows up that isn’t answered until very far down the road, showing that the Aurthor planned everything out and did such a great job writing it all! We also start to get a few more hints on the Big Bad that first appeared in “Danem”, though we wont really see them till much later, and let me tell you, You will Never Guess the true identity of this Big Bad! But once they’re revealed, the hints laid out up to that point can be puzzled out. Lot of hindsight needed though XD

“Scarazial” takes place immediately after “Sempadinum” with a very heart wretchingly emotional wedding. We’re also introduced to Riddick, who is an absolute delight! As with a few other character introductions in this saga, Riddick starts out a bit as a jerk (though absolutely fun), trust me, you’ll love him by the end! With a few more appearances from the Big Bad, and a few other mysteries that need to be solved (that I can’t hint at cause it involves characters and spoilers from previous segments) “Scarazial” ends with Zim finally snapping and going insane, and it is really a fun/terrifying thing to watch!

“Zaygam” takes place immediately after “Scarazial”, and is the last of this six part saga. I can’t say much without spoilers other than it wraps up every loose end perfectly and the epilogue got me all chocked up! I actually had to pause reading for a few hours and I still ended up losing a few tears when I picked it back up mid-chapter! One thing I can say, there is an odd introduction of a new character, it seems a bit out of left field, and doesn’t make any sense at first (especially since it comes immediately after an April fools chapter lol), but trust me, if you keep reading to the end you will quickly fall in love with this idea that is presented, and everything else that this 6 part saga has to offer! 

Please give it a read!

13/10 Very long, but so so good! The writing, plot, and characters are so well done and the depiction of emotional trauma and ptsd is handled well. And the Character redemptions are amazing, plus the ships!!! This also has my hands down absolute favorite depiction of Red!

Between The Stars by andystarr aka @andyyoureastarr

This fic is 2,111 words. Originally posted on 01-04-2020 and so far only has one chapter.

I’ve reviewed this Author’s fics before, but this is a brand new one! And although there probably isn’t enough of it for me to truly review it, based off what is out so far and the Author’s other works I am 100% confident that I can recommend it! The Author introduces a new alien species that appears to be blood thirsty similar to the Irekns, they discover Dib post alien abduction via “the really dumb aliens who think he’s [Zim] a human and try to fuse him with stuff” from the show. Dib ends up killing his captures before his supposed “rescue” and the chapter ends on a pretty ominous note. 

?/10 Since there’s only one chapter so far I don’t want to give it a rating, but knowing the Author’s other work I’m sure it’ll have a perfect score.

Breaking Routine by GalaxyCuup aka @galaxycuup

This fic is 6,188 words. Originally posted on 12-02-2019 and last updated on 12-13-2019. It has two chapters so far.

This is another one that’s a little harder to review since it’s still so new, but the two chapters that are out so far, are so well written, and hold so much promise for the future! This is a species swap AU where Zim is human and in Hi-skool and Dib is the Irken Scientist who has come to Earth to study and research it. The Author also posts pictures IN THE CHAPTERS!! They are so good!! The characters are very well written and their interactions are fun to watch. Plus with this being a species swap, it means their personalities are still sorta there, but their cultures and up bringing are very different so they react to things differently than their canon selves would, which make it a very fascinating read and a fresh take from all the other versions of these two that I’ve seen so far. Zim is his usually hot headed self, but being a teenager it seems to get him into more trouble than he deserves, while Dib has that air of infatuation and child-like wonderment with the planet Earth and everything new around him. I’m very curious to see where the story goes from here and what these two will do if Dib’s Irken self is ever revealed.

?/10 It’s still new so I can’t quiet give it a full score, but I see a lot of potential and the unique take combined with the artwork is so good that I definitely recommend it, and look forward to reading more.

Chomp by VelociraptorAddict aka unashamed self promotion

This fic is 12,280 words. Originally posted 12-31-2019 and last updated 01-18-20. It is updated weekly and so far has 4 chapters posted.

We start off with an introduction of a new Alien species, not much is revealed about them at first besides the fact that they require to “Bond” with others in order to survive off their own planet. More is revealed little by little as the story goes unfolds. This alien is sent to Earth/Urth to gather information for an upcoming invasion, and ends up forming a Bond with a young girl to do so. This girl later moves across the country and starts going to skool with Dib. One day she makes the mistake of admitting she doesn’t believe in Bigfoot, which leads to Dib confronting her to try and convince her otherwise. However, during the conversation it is revealed that she does believe in ghosts, and Dib’s need to be validated for his belief in the paranormal, means that he quickly sees this girl as someone who will actually listen to him. So he attaches himself to her and assumes they’re friends. Unfortunately for the girl, she has a pretty big secret that she doesn’t want this potential paranormal investigator to find out, the Loughran. 

Unfortunately, it is not a secret she’s able to keep for long. Dib quickly becomes suspicious that she must be hiding something, when another new student (Zim), comes to their skool and Dib accuses him of being an Alien. The girl seems to flip between agreeing with him and denying the existences of aliens all together and Dib finds it very suspicious. When a fight breaks out at recess between Zim, the girl, and something invisible, Dib quickly and adamantly demands answers!

This part of the plot moves pretty quickly, but it is simply the set up for what’s to come.

?/10 It doesn’t feel right scoring my own fic, but I will admit the writing style itself could use a bit of improvement and it could definitely use a lot more descriptive text. However, the character interactions and dialogue portions are done well enough. And I’ve been doing enough of these fic reviews that it’s about time I put my money where my mouth is and started writing my own, right?

[garlickk]

can you tell me about your detective, kiana kingston, please? she's adorable and i want to know more about her 💘

thank u🥺my brain is kinda having a meltdown rn and idk what to talk about so i'll answer the questions from this detective ask game

this is quite long (i spent a whole day on it and if its bad pls forgive me bc my brain cannot function rn) so if you wanna read it under the cut !!

Small Detective Ask Game

1. What's their name and how do they look?

Her full name is Kiana Kingston, but people often call her Kia (except Adam skdjgdlk). She has warm brown eyes and long black hair, it's wavy towards the end and usually tucked behind her ears.

2. Why did they join the police?

It was the best career in Wayhaven to help the people of the town and to put her mind to use. She originally wanted to move to another place to pursue more opportunities but her love and dedication for the town and its people made her stay.

3. How did they get the promotion to detective and what do they think about it?

She didn't expect it but was excited for it!

4. Can they handle blood/gore?

Kia would get injured a lot when she was a kid so she can handle blood/gore just fine.

5. How are they with people?

She's quite good at handling conversations and getting people to talk. Her personality leans a bit towards extroversion, so she's comfortable and friendly when meeting new people.

6. What's their relationship to Bobby?

He was just an acquaintance to her but she isn't fond of him. Kia's respect for him grows less as the story goes.

7. Who is their Love Interest and why?

Adam, bc opposites attract i guess :) They have a lot of differences but those are what they love about one another.

8. What's their relationship with their mom like? How did it change?

Kia was close to her mom when she was young, but they slow drifted apart bc of the distance. However, they're both trying to mend their relationship, since Kia understands and appreciates her mom's work at the Agency.

9. What do they think of the supernatural?

She thinks they're fascinating and is excited to work and know more about them.

10. How well did they handle the reveal that the supernatural exists?

Pretty well, she was a bit skeptical at first but eventually came round to it. Kia is accepting of the supernatural and understands the Agency's reason to keep them hidden from the public.

11. Do they have any tattoos/ piercings?

She has a small tattoo of a baby's breath tattoo under her left boob and regular gold earrings.

12. What is their highest (professional) stat and why?

Deduction/Knowledge. Her deduction skills are pretty good due to the fact that she's quite sensitive, observant and very intelligent. She also enjoys reading in her free time so she got a lot of her knowledge from there!

13. What's their opinion of the Mayor?

She dislikes him and thinks low of him bc of his neglectful attitude to his duties to the town, but she's still polite to him as she doesn't want to get on his bad side.

14. Do they get along with Tina and Verda?

She is close to both of them! She always calls up Tina to hang out whenever they're free and often goes to Verda for advices, and she loves playing with his kids as well.

15. What do they think of Unit Bravo? How has that changed throughout the story?

She was suspicious of the UB after their first encounter, but didn't think much of it. Later on when she got to know them, her opinions on them changed. To Adam, Kia respects him as a leader though she often disagrees with his methods, and she's also aware of her growing romantic feelings towards him as well ;) As to the rest of the UB, she is the closest to Morgan and both share a trusting friendship. She also considers Nate and Farah as her friends and admires them a lot.

16. Do they have any pets?

Kia has a lovely golden retriever named Max, who surprisingly gets along with Morgan and Adam whenever they come visit.

17. What are their hobbies?

She enjoys reading a lot. Her favorite books are history books for research and horror/mystery novels for entertainment. Kia sometimes writes in her journal as a way to destress as well.

18. What do they think of Douglas?

She's friendly towards him, which caused some misleading signals for Douglas. She cares for him as a colleague and a mentee.

19. What does their apartment look like?

Kia's more of a messy type, so her apartment is just full of clothes and stuffs that she always forgets to put back in place, but it feels a little more cozy and homely bc of that.

20. What is their personality?

According to the stats, she is charming, cautious, genuine, friendly and stubborn. Kia is smart, open-minded, affectionate and cares deeply for her friends and family, but she can sometimes be moody or anxious whenever there's something that troubles her.

21. Their favourite/comfort food?

She loves pizza, her favorite topping is classic margherita, and she also supports pineapple on pizzas.

22. Do they go to the bar or stay at the station?

She loves going to the bar, whether alone or with friends. That's why she went out with Tina that night, which led her to Douglas' route.

23. Their gender/sexuality?

Kia is a bisexual woman!

24. How did they handle the fight with Murphy? Did they get bitten?

She escaped Murphy's lab but got bitten in the wrist and even though she tried to avoid the fight completely, due to her already weak body constitution, she barely made it through the fight.

25. What do they usually wear? Has that changed?

Kia cares abour her appearance, but she's not obsessed with it. Her everyday outfit is quite modern, which consists of a turtleneck, a bomber jacket, high-waisted skinny jeans, combat boots and some accessories as well. She changes towards a more femme look as the story progresses to book 2 but still sticks to her old casual outfit for flexibility.

[fyrapartnersearch]

looking for longterm novella-style partner

general hey guys i'm lauren, 26 years old and living in EST! i just got dumped and thought i'd fill the void in my life with some good, good writing so i'm looking for some people to plot and rp with. i'm usually bopping around on social media and love talking to my partners, whether it's getting to know them or just plotting future events for our characters.

i'm also very ditch-friendly! if you're tired of me or our rp, totally just ghost me, i'll get the hint. no need to get all anxious over breaking up with a partner. it's rping, it's all chill. if you're able to, giving me a head's up that you're not feeling the rp would be great though! i will absolutely return the courtesy if i'm not feeling it anymore either.

as a quick side note, i will only rp with people over the age of 21, and have a preference for partners over the age of 23! i just feel more comfortable when my partner is around the same age as me.

posts and characters i only write in third person past tense and would prefer for my partner to do the same. i'm very flexible with post lengths, but i tend to be on the wordy side. i'd love it if you could provide four or five paragraphs per post on average, though i absolutely value quality over quantity so post length isn't a huge concern of mine as long as there's something to reply to! longer posts are wonderful as well, and i have no issue waxing lengthy posts if that is your preference.

i generally reply at least once a day or once every other day, but even if i'm tied up with work and not able to reply consistently, i'll absolutely be available to chat. i'll let you know when i'm busy and love to shoot plot ideas back and forth even when i can't put aside a chunk of time to reply.

characters! i love playing multiple characters, but having a singular main character is great too. i prefer playing OCs but can also do canons, which i'll talk about more below. i have no preference about what sort of character you're playing, that's your decision! i like to develop new characters for each rp i do, but feel free to bring in old characters if that's what you want! i like characters that are complex and interesting and not ultra-powerful people -- or if they are, you're able to explore the emotional repercussions of it. if you're looking for a specific sort of character to play yours against, give me some guidelines before i whip up an OC and i'll be happy to make someone that fits your needs. i adore creating characters, and like making side or background characters that pass through or come in and out of the plot.

i like creating characters before the plot, rather than the other way around. i have a huge preference for character-driven plots -- putting our characters in a setting, and then letting their specific quirks and motivations lead where the rp goes next.

i also can provide rp samples if you'd like to see my writing before we rp!

genres; love and sex so first let me prattle off some original character genres that i love! i will list fandoms later.

• adventure; anything with a band of people coming together and forming a found family, traveling together on the way to a goal with obstacles thrown in their way • fantasy; i adore fantasy, whether it's magical realism or all out medieval fantasy. world-building is one of my favorite things. sci-fi is great too, but i'm not great when things get too tech-y haha • paranormal/mythical creatures; sort of goes with the fantasy, but i'm always down to rp different species in any sort of setting • fairy tales; i love taking old fairy tales or stories and giving them a unique twist, whether it's making them #gritty or just tossing them in a different sort of setting • superheroes; people with superpowers using it for good or evil and coming together yesss • romance; romance is great and i'll discuss that below, but i prefer this to be like a sub-genre • AUs; i love taking a fandom and making it an alternate timeline or AUing it completely. also once we have characters and a rp established, i love love love talking about AUs for our characters. i will AU everything, there is no AU too AUish for me

those are just my favorites so feel free to suggest others, but i will not do slice of life. i just find myself bogged down when there's not a defined plot, and it doesn't keep my interest. i also love these things if you'd be interested in tossing any of them in the rp:

• mages • shapeshifters • daemons [like from his dark materials] • people with horns or wings • pirates • dragons

pairings what up what up. i love rps with a dash of romance, whether our characters come in as an awesome couple battle duo, or two dorks realizing they're developing a crush on each other. either way, i don't like characters who are not in a relationship immediately getting together -- i'm all about the bonding and character development. i do not like rping cishet m/f pairings. bi girl and bi dude falling in love is great. trans man and trans woman falling in love is great. ace woman and a masculine nb person falling in love is great. any other type of lgbtqia+ pairing is great. if you have a general preference for m// or f// just let me know!

i also love anything unconventional, from happy polyamorous couples to obsessive unrequited pining. love triangles are great, conflict is great, anything to keep the relationship fresh and interesting without verging into the realm of over-dramatic. if you're looking for someone to rp a dark and unhealthy romance with, i am your person. also if you want to rp cute poly couples. i am also that person.

for fandoms, i'll do canon/canon and OC/OC but not canon/OC!

smut smut is totally rad, as long as it's not the sole focus of the rp. i like the smut to add something to the character, the characters' relationship, or the plot in addition to just being for porn's sake. cute smut is great. dark smut is great. getting to do both is even better. i do have a handful of smut-based limits including things like water sports, pedophilia, vore -- if you want a complete list just ask when you contact me. themes i would enjoy exploring typically depend on the character and what my partner's limits are.

limits i don't have any limits besides the aforementioned smut limits. besides that, i love violence, gore, and swearing. i like exploring dark themes when the rp calls for it. i do not like rping with people who treat trauma, abuse, and psychopathy as personal traits or try to make things obnoxiously dark and gritty. but otherwise everything's pretty much on the table! if you have any limits please let me know -- i have no problem not swearing or avoiding certain topics or fading to black if that is your preference.

fandoms stars denote preference.

dragon age [origins; da2; inquisition] ✩✩✩ dragon age is my favorite thing in the world and i would love someone to rp it with. i have a preference for OCs though would also be up to rping canon characters. rping an OC MC with OC companions is my jam, though i also like exploring what the rest of the world is up to while the main plot is going on. also any AU of dragon age is great -- inquisition in a modern setting, kirkwall with a sci-fi twist; universe diverging where the bad guy wins and stuff like that.

pokemon [any gen] ✩✩✩ i am always down for a pokemon rp you have no ideaaa. however i really like my pokemon rps more serious (i know how ridiculous that sounds). i like exploring aspects of the pokemon world outside of just being a trainer and getting badges. i like to rp pokemon like they're intelligent animals, meaning that wild pokemon aren't so easily tamed and pokemon can get hurt. i'm also so down for crossbreeds/fusions. i have some plot ideas in mind for pokemon and would love to hear yours!

final fantasy [IV, VII, VIII, crisis core, advent children, dissidia] ✩✩ i have this random love for IV, but honestly i am total VII trash and have been playing the remake a lot. i'm also a little familiar with XIV and have some OCs already created for a setting like that.

fallout [any game] ✩✩ would love to do OCs for this, and admittedly something in the commonwealth would be rad because i've played 4 most recently. brotherhood of steel is always great, anything with them is awesome. also stuff with synths that involves questioning what it means to be human and have faith in your own identity/memories w/e w/e would be cool. also just a general AU of a fallout-like setting maybe set in a city that hasn't been explored yet.

kingdom hearts [any game] ✩ i'd love something in the bbs era, but honestly anything is great. exploring nobodies successfully turned into ansem-heart-holders, the new keyblade warriors to defeat ansem (this guy gets around), or kh1&2 characters during the bbs time is all great. for canon characters sora, aqua, ventus, marluxia, and larxene are the ones i've played the most but i'm always looking to branch out.

medium i like to rp over discord, email, or google docs, with a separate discord channel or IM for separate chatting and plotting. i'm also open to making a joint tumblr blog that we both post our posts on, which i did not know was a thing until very recently!

contact if you're interested please shoot me a message on my tumblr or at Lauren#5244 on discord! :)

[rachelthompsonauthor]

The past two quarantine months have been like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime, and I turned 56 in January. So rather than regurgitate what you’ve likely read in the news or on social media, I’ve decided to share how I’ve spent my time these past two months along with random thoughts. I hope you’ll continue along with me as I share what I’m doing each week.

Books

Oh, how I’ve missed reading! With my business so insanely busy (for which I’m truly grateful) these past few years, I’ve barely had time to read little more than Slack, emails, texts, and social media updates. Not exactly satisfying for this lifelong, avid reader. This quarantine has allowed me a little bit of extra time, which I’ve put to good use.

In no particular order, here’s what I’ve read: 

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow is fantastic. Read it in one sitting because I didn’t want any of the details of this lacy, incredibly intricate work to fade. I highly recommend it. A mix of fantasy, drama, and a love story (because in the end, aren’t all stories love stories?), anyone with a working brain will love this novel.

  Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng is also superb. I’d heard about this book for a while, yet only got around to it because it’s also now a mini-series on Hulu (which I watched afterward – also very good, though the character arcs and the plot changed in crucial, at times startling, ways).

Curious if you’ve read the book and watched the series, what your thoughts are? I could write an entire post about it, yet I’ll only share this…

As a child, my parents hire a housekeeper. My folks both work full-time and we are not in any way rich or well-off. Neither of my folks has college degrees – Dad is an assistant manager at a chain drugstore and Mom has just completed x-ray tech school and works nights at San Bernardino County Hospital. We live in a small house on a long street in the smoggy Inland Empire of California.

There are two of us, my older sister and me. Then my mom gets pregnant when I’m nine and has my baby sister when I’m ten. My folks advertise for a housekeeper and Miss Louise answers. She’s African American and willing to work for the little they can pay her. She smokes a lot (outside only, so as “not to hurt the babies”), insists on wearing a uniform though my mom tells her it isn’t necessary and comes looking for us in her big old white Caddy if we aren’t home from school exactly 20 minutes after it lets out.

(Miss Louise’s husband’s name is George. If you are alive in the 70s and watch The Jeffersons, you understand why this is an endless source of amusement to my sister Caren and me.)

Being that young, neither Caren nor I understand what privilege means. We didn’t get whatever we wanted because my parents are always strapped, yet there is food on the table, and the lights are always on. Except for the occasional venture to Disneyland or Knott’s Berry Farm that one time (mom hated it), our vacations consist of driving to visit our Zayde (great-grandfather) in a nursing home in Santa Cruz, or some other relatives we don’t know somewhere in L.A. (I remember one great-aunt who drank. A lot.) We’d always stop at Cantor’s for a soup and sandwich (the highlight for us), and be back on the road. We don’t mind because it is anywhere but home.

Anyway – my entire point is that in Little Fires Everywhere – the show – Kerry Washington’s Mia is an artist who takes a maid job with Reese Witherspoon’s Elena Richardson’s family to keep an eye on her daughter Pearl, who is quite taken with the teenage Richardson clan. The racial and financial dichotomy is blatantly obvious: a rich family who’s seemingly got it all vs. a seemingly poor black single mother, which adds to the ‘fires’ mentioned in the title.

The book really made me think about my own privilege and despite how well my folks treated Louise, and how much we loved her, and she us, there would always be that wall. Granted, it was a business arrangement and my folks paid her for her services, and in truth, anyone could’ve answered the housekeeping ad. The fact that she was African American and we were white created a racial divide that’s undeniable.

The third book I read is Certain Cure by Jennifer Valoppi, also excellent. It’s the first in a series (parts two and three aren’t out yet, darn it). The novel chronicles the life of three generations of the Cummings family; Claire, a woman in her 70s who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, Helene, her television journalist daughter and Justin, the teenage grandson whose adoration of his “Grams” leads him to discover the dark secret behind the miracle technology that is not only curing Claire of her cancer but tempting his mother with eternal youth, as traditional medical industries wage war against the mysterious doctor from China who threatens them all.

I had no idea what to expect with this one, and I’m glad I read it. Valoppi is a former TV journalist from NYC so she knows her stuff. I’m not particularly religious (or scientific), yet I didn’t find either the science or religious stuff bogged me down.  Fascinating read. I highly recommend it.

Movies and Shows

Gosh, so many. With four of us in the house (and two teens), it’s worth it to me to pay for Hulu and Netflix, Amazon Prime Video comes with my Amazon Prime membership already, plus my internet plan comes with AT&T Direct, Showtime, HBO, and other premium channels. For the amount of entertainment, it’s worth the money.

I watch movies and shows on my iPad at night, once I’m finally off my computer. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like a super loud TV with stereo surround-sound barking at me after a long day of noise and stress. So I go upstairs to my cozy bed, surround myself with blankets and pillows and cats, and snuggle in for a few hours to watch a movie or a few episodes of something I enjoy.

Another note: not a big ‘reality TV’ watcher, mostly because, as a writer, I prefer well-written shows. I also don’t like the negativity and yelling normally associated with those shows. That said, I do watch Vanderpump Rules (on Bravo) with my daughter (age 20). We bond.

Shows

Here’s what I’ve binged these past few quarantine months, show-wise (no links because you can Google):

Ray Donovan – ggggggreat! Heard it was wonderful, yet truly had no idea how awesome. Liev Schrieber is captivating as Ray. Flawed, human, sad, and, in case you don’t know, a childhood sexual abuse survivor (church abuse). I had no idea going in this would be a theme of the show, yet it was handled with care and truth. The entire supporting cast is also amazing. Every season is great. Watch it all. I hated to see it end.

Homeland – the first four or so seasons were mesmerizing. Then, I got bored. This last season had me falling asleep and then WHAM! that ending. Worth it.

Hunters – Good, not fantastically great. The twist in the last episode will get you, though.

Upload – Loved it! Thought it would be silliness (and in some places, it was, but that’s okay – we need a little silliness right now). Had a ton of heart which I love.

Bosch – come on, it’s Titus Welliver. He’s fantastic. This last season didn’t draw me in as much as the entire rest of the series, though. You?

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – terrific, all of it. Every season, every episode, every character.

Tales From The Loop – amazing. Anything having to do with time-travel or the bending of time, I’m a total sucker for. This hurt my brain in a good way.

The Feed – weird but good and thought-provoking.

Dark – by far, my favorite show year. A German show dubbed in English (you get used to it – don’t let that scare you off), this time-bending, decade-moving hit show spans two seasons and every episode is worth watching. And the music – my god. Amazing. Here’s a Spotify playlist link.

Movies

Parasite – thought-provoking. Took a while to get into it and then boom! It just goes full-on insanity. Well-written, well-acted, and the message of the movie is just, wow. No spoilers in case you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

Hustlers – loved it. Whatever issues people have with strip clubs and ‘dancers,’ get over it. These girls are amazingly talented, are in amazing shape, and work hard to make money for their families. What I loved the most about the movie is that it’s all about the women; the men are only there as a plot device. It’s a movie entirely shot through the ‘female gaze’ (though of course, men will enjoy the dance scenes which are sexy, yet not unclothed). How many movies can say that?

Memento – I think I’m probably one of the few people who had never seen this neo-noir psychological thriller starring Guy Pearce looking like Brad Pitt (who was originally considered for the role). It was great, I think? LOL. My brain still hurts.

Call Me By Your Name – Lovely, sad, gorgeous. (And I will not make a juvenile peach joke.) And the music! Oh, my.

Zombieland – I hate zombies, I hate horror movies. I hate gore and squishy sounds. This movie was cute. (Not ready for the sequel, yet.)

Music

As mentioned above, the music in Dark sent me off on a ‘who are these talented musicians?’ lark. I’ve discovered so many. Here is who I’m listening to right now (all free on Spotify) and links provided here:

Apparat (you’ll recognize the opening theme of Dark and stay for the rest).

Agnes Obel – wondrous. I’ve played her entire catalog repeatedly since discovering her music on Dark. She’s become a commercial favorite as well now. Familiar is the song used in the show that’s received the most play.

Alev Lanz – otherworldly. I’ve not heard anyone like her. Her songs on the Dark soundtrack and Black Mirror are what she’s most noted for (May The Angels, and Fall Into Me, respectively), however, I love all of her work. Her harmonies are like nothing else. One song is layered with her voice and African throat singers – it’s gorgeous (May The Angels). She’s active on Twitter and we’ve interacted a few times. She’s beautifully transparent about her love of music and it shows in all her work.

Patrick Watson – I heard this song, Good Morning Mr. Wolf, on the Ray Donovan soundtrack and immediately clicked my SoundHound app. Who is this talented being? This song, in particular, sounds so large and cinematic – I wondered – is he is a film composer? (yes). A band? (yes). And so much more. I cannot get enough of all of his music, and still, I play this one song on repeat – repeatedly.

London Grammar – I discovered this band a few years ago and still adore them. Strong is still my favorite song, though Rooting For You is a close second. Hannah Reid’s vocals are big and beautiful.

Hilary Woods – ethereal and lovely. Especially the song Kith.

Sufjan Stevens – many of us just discovered him from the movie Call Me By Your Name soundscore, however, he’s been a working musician since the early 2000s. Talented beyond.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. I made a Female Rockers list on Spotify which you’re welcome to.

Thoughts on Quarantine

My Business

Living in California, I’ve barely left the house in two months, with the exception of going to the pharmacy for meds or for the occasional physician appointment for me or the kids, because of the quarantine restrictions in place. And I’m okay with that.

I’m fortunate that my business is primarily online-only: I work with authors and small businesses on their branding, marketing, and promotion, so given that all real-life events are off the table, I’ve been quite busy working with my clients to ensure their products and services are still viable.

This doesn’t mean I don’t need help as a small business. I applied for an SBA loan and couldn’t even get onto the website the first time – it was pretty ridiculous – like the end scene in Beetlejuice. You all know who those first small business loans went to, right? Not small-potatoes people like me. So the second time around, it went much smoother, and I’m grateful to have received a small loan which will definitely help me keep going with rent, insurance, and other expenses.

I still did my annual non-profit initiative for writers, NaNoProMo (National Novel Promotion Month) this year over on my business site, BadRedhead Media, yet only for two weeks instead of the entire month. Daily blog posts from experts on everything publishing-related plus amazing giveaways. It’s always exhausting, yet I find enormous gratification in helping writers.

This year, however, getting writers to comment to win amazing, FREE giveaways was like pushing a house up a hill. I get it – people are focused on putting food on the table instead of commenting on blog posts, even if the giveaways were worth $500. That’s why I wanted to do this initiative this year – to help writers who are in a jam – yet only a smattering of writers participated.

I’m seriously rethinking if I want to do it next year given the financial cost as well as the personal toll. My first therapist, who I started seeing after I gave birth to my daughter Anya (I was terrified to leave her to go back to work, given my history with childhood sexual abuse), gave me this tip whenever I had trouble deciding whether to do something:

“If you ever aren’t sure if you should do something, ask yourself this question: Is this good for Rachel? If the answer is yes, do it. If the answer is no, don’t. It really is that simple.”

Self-care, y’all.

Social Media

I’ve stopped interacting with the crazies on social media (and who knows, maybe you’re one of them so truly, no offense), but I’d rather stay safe and keep my family safe by working exclusively at home – which I mostly do anyway – than venture back into face-to-face meetings with clients. I support four people with my business and if something happens to me, four people are doomed.

So the answer is simple to me: stay home, work from home, and don’t risk dying from this virus.

I don’t buy into any of this ridiculous conspiracy crap. Sorry, not sorry. You can if you want to. Spending time arguing with people online about it takes away time from my business, my kids, my guy, and my own sanity. Speaking of which…

Mental Health

There were a few mix-ups with my meds when this all started, and I couldn’t get my prescriptions filled and delivered before I ran out, so I ended up having about a week of insomnia which I’ve never had to deal with. I was a zombie (the non-squishy kind) and it sucked.

If you have insomnia, I’m sorry. I feel for you.

It’s all straightened out now, thank goodness. My son Lukas and I donned our masks and drove to the local CVS the other day because I couldn’t wait two days for my meds to be delivered. It felt like walking into a dystopian future walking in there: everyone in masks, tape six feet apart for the waiting line, plexiglass between us and the cashiers.

I’m thankful for these measures, of course, and wonder how long we’ll need them, or if this is our new normal?

My Writing

I finished the final edits on Broken People and sent it back to my editor. She’s had some health issues, so the delay is understandable. To be honest, I’m not in a huge hurry to launch a new book right now. Here are the questions that run through my mind:

Do people have money to purchase a new book?

If they do, will they want to read my new book?

If they do want to read my new book, will they take the money they do have to read mine, and then review it?

Does it even matter in the grand scheme of life? 

I’m an author just like any author – I want to get my work out there so people can read it, engage with it, connect with me. I hope they’ll like it, feel something, reflect on their own lives, learn something new, particularly about being a childhood sexual abuse survivor. It’s a weird limbo to be in right now.

Our New Normal

This phrase is bandied about quite a lot yet let’s face it: it’s life as we know it, now. The anxiety is real, too. I haven’t hugged or kissed my elderly parents who live two miles away in two months. I bring them toilet paper and cookies from our favorite bakery (drive up and trunk drop off, pay online only) and drop it on their porch.

All these scenarios run through my mind: If I go to do this, what happens if? I know I’m not the only one. And yet, we can’t predict anything. So I sit here, writing this post, safe inside my little house bubble, grateful I can pay my rent, put food on the table (delivered by Instacart, thankfully), and everyone around me is healthy.

What’s your new normal? What have you been reading, watching, and listening to? If you’ve stuck it out this far, I thank you. Would love to hear your comments! Safe hugs, y’all. 

***

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

                The post This is How To Spend Quarantine With Me appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

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